#Many YouTube videos as a kid that scarred me

[dingleberry-art]

oh golly

i feel like everyone has at least one of these so: in the tags tell me what media someone else needs to experience to truly understand the person you are today. mine is undertale and the owl house

[miviaceleste]

A Blackrock Story: A Boy with Turquoise Eyes

Happy 12th Anniversary to Blackrock Chronicle!

This comic ended up being 47 pages long (when I first sketched it, it was only 20 pages long). Since I can only upload 30 images in a post, I had to combine 2 pages into 1 image so hopefully it's still visually fine and not annoying to scroll through!

I wrote this mini-story more than 10 years ago, so I figured it was time to finally make it into a comic (after editing the writing a lot because I became a much better writer since lol).

Be aware of the TWs, and I hope you enjoy this comic!

TW: Violence || Blood || Injuries/Scars/Burn Marks || Kidnapping || (Temporary) Death || Loss of Limb / Amputation

Thank you all for reading one of my most insane projects ever!

Now, here’s another long story:

About 8 years ago, my life became so busy that to stay on top of my studies and activities, I stopped watching a lot of YouTubers, including the Yogscast.

I’ve grown up throughout the years. I had to stop acting like a kid to figure out what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I’m still an artist today, but I haven’t drawn in this way for about 3 years to pursue my real passion. I love to draw, but I didn’t have the time or inspiration to make something grand.

About 3 months ago, I suddenly got curious about how all those YouTubers I stopped watching were doing, so I checked out their channels and watched a video or two before moving on. When I got to the Yogscast channel, on the other hand, I quickly fell in love with the new content and with everyone again.

It was insane to see how immediately my love for them came back. In 3 months, I’ve watched so many videos and streams/VODs. It’s all so comforting, funny, and uplifting. Clearly, I missed so much content in the past 8 years, but at least I don’t have to worry about running out of things to watch for a while.

What made me most happy was that despite changing a lot, I never stopped being that kid who laughed at the Yogscast’s shenanigans. It just goes to show that no matter how much the world tries to push you around, you never lose that sense of joy you had as a child.

Now, about Rythian:

Since I started watching the Yogscast in 2011, Rythian has always been my favorite. I loved his series so much, especially with how he got into character to give us an immersive experience. It was an escape for me as a kid. When difficult moments were thrown at me, I watched Rythian’s series to find a sense of comfort.

So when I started watching his and Zoey’s Blackrock series, my mind was blown. The storytelling, acting, humor, and drama of the series were so immersive and touching that my creativity exploded.

I mainly use art to express myself and my interests because I struggle to talk about it. But funny enough, Blackrock was the only interest of mine that got me to not draw, but to write. I wrote a lot of short stories about the series—even how I envisioned the series would end. I was so inspired to create all the time from this series.

And what’s crazy is that at the beginning of this summer, I found all of those written drafts and notes from when I was a kid. I kept them all for 10+ years and found a very loose (and not that good) draft of this comic and I felt really inspired to finish it.

It was roughly when I was first watching Blackrock too when I realized that I can be creative in the future. The Yogscast helped me understand that I can do whatever I want for the rest of my life. If they could do it, then why can’t I?

What’s also wonderful is that even after so many years, Rythian never stopped being my favorite. When I started watching the main channel again a few months ago, I immediately found myself rooting for him whenever he was in the group videos. I just remembered how much happiness he brought me when I was younger and it makes me so happy that I still get so much joy whenever I hear his voice.

While working on this comic, I watched all of Kirbycraft and caught up on Kirby Farm. I can’t help but smile the whole time Rythian, Briony, and Kirsty interact with one another. The dynamic of these three brings me so much laughter and comfort. A part of me is upset that I didn’t get back to watching everyone when Kirbycraft was still live, but better late than never, right?

I also originally started this comic without the intention of posting it. But then I figured, Hey, it’d be great to share it with everyone who’s also been impacted by this series and the Yogscast in general, so I made this blog to post it here. Honestly, I’m not sure when the next time I’ll be able to draw is (who knew building a career takes away a lot of your energy and time?). But I think that’s what’s so wonderful about my love for Yogscast and particularly Blackrock: I didn’t make this comic for the likes or views. It was just because I wanted to, and I’m so happy to see there are so many people on here who feel the same love for them as I do.

This series and the people who made it, along with the people who supported it and loved it and continued to love it, impacted me for the better. I learned so many years ago that I can be creative for a living, and have been working hard towards doing that since.

Happy 12th Anniversary to the Blackrock Chronicle. To Rythian and Zoey who put a smile on this kid’s face even during the toughest of times.

And to the Yogscast, thank you for being there for me when I needed you all the most and for still being here when I came back. Your ability to inspire me and make me laugh never disappeared throughout the years I was gone, and I’m ready to laugh some more.

[torchickentacos]

Movie genres but more specific:

American family goes on a vacation and many, many things happen

Environmentalism but in space for some reason. Save the earth, except nope we're not on earth for this

What if this fucked up thing happened

Middle aged man finds the true spirit of christmas

Poorly thought out social justice metaphor

Little kid and eccentric old guy have adventures together. There's probably cool machines.

Well, that's not supposed to be there.

Niche 80s-90s fantasy with terrifying cgi/animation/puppets/etc that either scarred you as a child or became a central part of who you are. There's probably a youtube video essay about it somewhere.

Really hot dance movies that have no business being as hot as they are. They might not be good movies. They probably aren't, honestly. But they're hot so it's okay.

What if this villain from this one movie served cunt

The above genre but poorly executed and cuntless

Movies that make you think maybe love is real, even though everyone in the movie dresses like it's 2003, and this forces you to accept that if love is real, then so are those little cardigans that don't do anything. And business casual.

Feminist retellings that inexplicably circle around to feeling even more sexist somehow

High school movies played by twenty five year olds

Pokemon movies. They count as a genre. They're out here doing their own thing. Trust me on this one.

Movies that star a guy who is actually really problematic now, and you liked the movie when it first came out and for a long time after, but you haven't really been able to watch it with a clear conscience since, because Asshole McFuckface is in it

Just a guy trying to have a good time. Nobody else wants him to have a good time

Tubi romance movies

[s1mp4ev3r]

(CW: vent post and bad Grammer)

When I was six there was this new older girl who got held back or smth idk, but to our class and I talked to her for a few days and noticed she watched YouTube videos with inappropriate jokes, and I really didn't think much of it, and one day she asked if she wanted to go to the bathroom stall but without us getting caught so we made a plan, that I would ask and she would ask to go to the nurse since she had a "stomach ache" and we thought that was perfect so we went to the bathroom stall and she locked the door, and pinned me to the wall and pulled down my pants to my lower hips and I was confused and uncomfortable but I felt her breath on my neck but luckily I said "hey why don't we do this later, we might miss lunch, right?" And she was like yeahhh! But still tried to make me stay but we didn't and the next day I told her "I don't wanna be friends anymore" and then she would bully me but in KINDERGARTEN, mind you that the older boys would beat me up and I would try to fight back but I couldn't, and the recess teachers would see me on the ground and say get upp but I would run up the stairs to the other grades and laugh at them or well giggle, till one day I was running to hide and saw an older boy with glasses but he was nice and became my friend but he was in fifth grade so he left that year...and I was sad but besides that let's cut back to first grade where the SA is happening, and she started bullying me and stuff till we went to another class but didn't move grades, and I would usually get into arguments over stupid things but it was because I was a mentally ill kid? Idk, but we would hide away in the class and make out sadly and now let's cut to fourth grade where I realized during flash I was getting groomed? And raped? Idk if that counts but I told my friends but they didn't believe me and during the summer of fourth grade before school ended I found out I was on my period and I didn't tell my mom till fifth grade so I survived each month with it sadly and in third grade was when I liked my first girl as well and got called gay etc etc but idrc and pushed past it and in fifth grade the whole grade knew and supported it or just didn't wanna bully me or smth and that's when I got my first bf but I liked others guys as well because hormonal stuff, duhh but I got called slurs for it and I found out in summer that I was drepressed, and then once again I found out I was genderfluid in sixth grade and didn't get bullied for it or well bc most didn't know, and now I carry this burden that if I come out to my family about this I will be blamed for coming out too late and I sexualize myself and get hypersexual because of what I've been exposed too and I usually stay up late and barely sleep at night but all day and I starve myself to be pretty and pop my pimples leaving scars as well...and I hate talking to people think everyone is judging me or hating me but now I'm 15 years old and still afraid of this.. everything really

SO TYSM for reading this if u did have a good day or night and happy holidays♥️♥️♥️ o(≧o≦)o

And all that day is that I remember the boys were Asian, Mexican, or white cannot remember. The girl was black (sorry if you do get offended) And my yellow sweater thatnwas my favorite and my dark blue leggings.

But this art is important and inspired by that.

This isn't fake, nor a lie, and I hope people who experience these kinds of things heal or get help♥️

You. Are. Not. Alone ♥️

(P.S: I know not coming out about this is terrible, but I've always been bad at speaking especially since I'm an only child and and autistic but able to do most things, forgot what's that called. But I'm not blaming those two things I'm blaming the people who have hurt me and made me realize things. Too many at a young age, and I may do more vent art posts!♥️ and remember you aren't ever alone talk to someone at home, get help, or talk to the hotline for comfort if you do! I repeat if you do feel comfortable doing that!!♥️♥️. Goodbye thanks for reading some of my young trama (does that count as trama? Idk). ♥️♥️♥️)

[kangaracha]

NEVERMORE: THE WATCHLIST

everything you should watch while reading each chapter

hihihi. i recommend watching these after each chapter so that you can find all my lil easter eggs etc but do as you like. possibly minor spoilers for things like the interludes if you haven't immediately clocked where they're coming from. spoilers for upcoming chapter names & concepts for the rest of the miroh arc.

if you see the name of a song and nothing else; that indicates the music video. if you see 'listen to', disregard the music video in that instance if there is one. misc videos are listed as they are named on YouTube.

CHAPTERS 1-35

Stray Kids: Prequel (Highlight Reel)

CHAPTER 1: CRUEL AND FEARFUL DAYS title: hellevator

Hellevator

listen to: Grr (Law Of Total Madness)

ARC 1 - INJEON

CHAPTER 2 + 3: NO PLACE FOR YOU HERE title: district 9

I Am Not Trailer

District 9

listen to: NOT!, Awaken

CHAPTER 4: INTERLUDE: MAYDAY, MAYDAY title: heyday

listen to: Heyday

CHAPTER 5 + 6: THERE'S SO MANY VOICES title: voices

District 9

Voices Performance Video

listen to: Mirror

CHAPTER 7 + 8 + 9 + 10: THIS WON'T CHANGE MY HEART title: scars

Scars

I Am You

Chapter 10: listen to: Entrance

CHAPTER 11: TELL ME YOU HATE ME (A MEMOIR) title: red lights

Red Lights

Miroh (Kingdom Stage Vers.)

ARC 2: MIROH

Miroh Instrumental With Congo Chant

CHAPTER 12: OUR SONG BURNS RED title: maze of memories

listen to: Maze Of Memories

listen to: Mixtape #4

Stray Kids "20190325"

CHAPTER 13: A WORLD FULL OF BLINDS title: maze of memories

Miroh

UNVEIL: TRACK "승전가(Victory Song)"

listen to: Maze Of Memories

CHAPTER 14: RUN THROUGH THE MIROH title: miroh

listen to: Maze Of Memories

listen to: Miroh

CHAPTER 15: TELL THE CITADEL; DREAM title: maze of memories

listen to: Maze Of Memories

listen to: Miroh

CHAPTER 16: A MOMENTARY SILENCE title: maze of memories

listen to: Maze Of Memories

Miroh

listen to: Boxer

CHAPTER 17: RING, THE VICTORY SONG title: victory song

Victory Song (Performance Video)

Miroh

listen to: Boxer

CHAPTER 18: TICK TOCK, TICK TOCK title: chronosaurus

listen to: Chronosaurus

CHAPTER 19: COUNTDOWN, COUNTDOWN title: chronosaurus

Chronosaurus

Miroh

TMT

listen to: Maze Of Memories

listen to: Road Not Taken

CHAPTER 20: THE ROAD NOT TAKEN title: road not taken

Cle 2: Yellow Wood Trailer

Chronosaurus

TMT

listen to: Road Not Taken

ARC 3: YELLOW WOOD

CHAPTER 21: NERVOUSNESS title: side effects

[writerblock-sucks]

[ ☕️ ] fan video … faith dancer’s analysis

faith’s masterlist

note | thumbnail made by me

warning(s) / includes | n/a

a/n | posted based on this youtube series, i do not claim to have a dance history or degree (or whatever) so everything here is either a rephrased version of what the youtuber said in other videos or my way of showing a more in-depth detail on how i see faiths’ dancing

taglist | @lovely-sanie @skzfairies @skz-angel @still-astray @felixsbrat @smh-anon @alyszaen @alixnsuperstxr

intro

known for being the nation’s hidden gem, the member is consistently complimented on her dancing abilities 

the second longest training period in stray kids, of 4 years thought to be put in to the next jyp girl group, accommodated quickly to the hardcore and intense chores that only boy groups were know for at the time [clips of her on sixteen and stray kids survival show]

faith is part of vocalracha, but on many occasions has been given the chance to show her extensive dancing capabilities 

stray kids faith [faiths’ scars + case 143 fancam starts play on screen]

tutting

tutting is a style of dance that requires incredible body control, a skill i believe faith has mastered to the point i would put her in the top best body control in 4th maybe even kpop overall

isolations and body locks are also a buy product of faiths’ tutting skills, making for readable, accurate, and clear dance moves

and depending on the music, her body movements and dancing can come off as feminine and dainty or powerful and masculine

her understanding of isolation and body locks makes her appear taller and more masculine, making for cohesive performances with stray kids and any other male idols

fluidity

smooth and seamless execution of dance moves are again thanks to her extensive body control

[faiths’ easy + domino fancams start play on screen]

but also her completion of isolations, and body rolls are a good example

watch how both seungmin and faith execute the body roll in silent cry

[shows both seungmin and faith silent cry fancam side by side]

watch how the seungmin’s body roll stops at his stomach, making the movement look “broken” and choppy

while faith finished her body roll, hit all key points (chest, stomach, pelvis, and tailbone), and her hand glides along her body down to her thigh

putting her understanding of lines and fluidity to work, creating a fluid yet big movement

imploding

imploding is a form of explosive style, meaning the energy one has is compressed and contained inside the body, making a popping effect

imploding dance style means one needs muscles, so it’s not surprising to see this [shows a collage of faiths’ muscles]

however, faith’s imploding skills can be accounted to where she comes from

south africa, which as a rich history in many things, one known being the dance history

faith's most used dance style from south africa culture is pantsula, bhenga, and bujwa

[faiths’ charmer, wolfgang, double knot fancams start playing]

fast footwork, body control, fluidity, etc, and everything that is used in all forms of dance that faith uses in her dances and freestyle is used in these south african dances

outro

to end of where we began, how her home country affects her

not only as a dancer but also as a producer, being raised in a country in riched with extensive musical history

helped lay the groundwork for body control and fluidity, that many would train years for

combined with her physique and quick learning, proves why she should be known as the nation’s hidden gem

[…]

however her dancing is not only skill, her stage presence is eye-catching

even if she isn’t in the center stage still draws viewers' eyes cause of her aura alone

stray kids being noted as concept chameleons, faith is not exempted from the skill, pulling off covers like fancy by twice or bang, bang, bang by big bang

her rapping and singing skills help transition in many songs, meshing well with the other members

shows she is not just ‘the female member of stray kids’ and that stray kids are a well-oiled machine that works together, and each member is an important part that makes the group what it is

© lowercase intended | writerblock-sucks

[quarter-life-crisis2]

~tag game~

list eight shows for your followers to get to know you

thanks @btscontentenjoyer for the tag, this is coming ages later cause I wanted to properly reply because I love this shit so much, I watch so many media video essays it's borderline unhealthy

I have a hard time maintaining favourites and always get a recency bias but anyway, in no particular order, some of my favourites/ most impactful shows with my thoughts that no one asked for under the cut

No pressure, but if you wanna get involved, gonna tag @moni-logues, @gimmethatagustd, @jjkeverlast, @magicshopaholic & @sailoryooons, @simp47koreancrackheads, @yoongiphoria cause I am curious :)

White lotus - a recent favourite for sureeeeeeeee. I devoured this show and absolutely loved it. When it was finished, I watched about 10 hours of youtube content about it, from set breakdown, additional details missed, interviews, costume design, psychoanalysis of the characters etc

Fleabag - all time classic, should be required viewing for everyone, so so so good, and I love that it didn't get extended past what the story needed. Phoebe Waller-Bridge is an amazing actress and creator

I may destroy you - watched it around the same time as Fleabag. Another great show, with such complex characters and discussion around intense topics, once again Michaela Coel is an amazing actress and creator. Watched a few long talks from her after this show regarding her life, career and this show

Death Note (the final one to steal from @btscontentenjoyer while I am brainstorming for these) - the anime that first got me into anime, and for sure one of the most memorable. So much room for discussion. Would love to sit and drink a glass of wine while philosophising on the nature of good and evil, power and who gets to decide the appropriate level of punishment. I've read some of the manga but need to go back and finish it

Attack on titan - (I am NOT up to date on this, I'm about 1-2 years behind. I know some of the twists towards the end but not the full picture) Another great one for conversation, so so many topics to cover, pretty controversial at times as well, so I would love to debate it with someone equally interested in chatting shit with endless pauses during watching

The good place - it's been a while since I watched this so I hope it stood the test of time, but what I will say is certain aspects of it really stuck with me and I reference it often. I think the premise and some of the conversation were very interesting and thought-provoking once again, and the way they presented the repercussions of our actions or what it means to be/do good was very intriguing

Game of Thrones - I mean, it's problematic and it ended... well it ended... let's leave it at that, BUT I watched it religiously for years, I used to go to my friend's house after high school and we'd all gather to watch it which was lots of fun (also maybe not age appropriate?). I did enjoy most of it for the insane plots and completely unhinged and fucked up characters, it was so meaty and could really get into character motivations and psychology which is my jam

Arcane - I devoured this when it came out. This led me to look into the animation style and watch breakdowns of it because it was so amazing. But even without it, the story is amazing and very well delivered, even for someone not interested in LoL. Another one filled with grey characters, impossible decisions, societal analysis and dystopian settings. I really hope they continue in the same style and quality for the following season.

I have so many shows I love. Love, sex and robots, Hearstopper (haven't seen the recent season), Sex Education, Skins UK - watched as a kid, for sure problematic but fucking loved it at the time, Misfits, The Boys, OMG THE BOYS, Black Mirror, still.... though not all of it, which is to be expected, Thirty Nine OMG Thirty Nine, Hospital Playlist!!!!! these last two are my favourite kdramas for sureeeeee, Tokyo Ghoul, Stranger Things, Scarlet Heart - my gateway drug into Korean entertainment, aaand I'm gonna stop but I very obviously like a lot of shit and have minimal editing and summarising abilities.....

[cerberuspuppy1]

ATLA actor au

Ok so hear me out, an Avatar the last airbender actor AU set in modern times. But it’s just a random kinda dingy YouTube channel Sokka runs. He started it when he was really bored and managed to rope Aang, Katara, Toph and other characters into making a YouTube tv series with him. The first videos are somewhat akin to the ember island players in their bad overdramatized acting, props and editing but over time they learn from experience and the videos start looking like a real show. Better than some in fact. (Looking at you big movie corporations who try to make as many things as possible so they have a lot of media but it’s really bad quality.) Here Zukos been their friend for a while before they start and gets typecast as the villain because A) scar and B) dramatic monologuing. All the benders have their bending still. Either they have superpowers or magic but they have their bending and they use it. Through the channel more people start to gain confidence in the fact that they have superpowers or magic or are metahuman too because they see on screen that their powers don’t define them. Also Zukos family is toxic and Iroh fights for him in court and gains full custody.

OR. Sokka starts this YouTube channel but it’s just him vlogging his life. They could have their bending/powers they could not. It doesn’t matter as much for this version. It starts with meeting Aang the weird new kid. This could be at his school or in his town. And it covers meeting Zuko the school/towns resident bully, Toph a kid who ended up joining his friend group and everything else. More of a modern AU focus. Zuko would have his scar from his dad no matter what. Without powers the Todoroki treatment and with just like canon. Ozai would run a large business I think. Zuko still has an abusive family and would be in the process of a court custody battle between Ozai and Iroh. And the peak of his character arc would be learning his father isn’t good for him and choosing Iroh.

I kinda want to timeline/outline the second version now. Well if anyone want it just ask. And if anyone wants to write any of this please tag me!

[shawoluvs]

I was tagged by the lovely @fourseascns to do this tag game thing~ I usually try to stick to a kpop theme on this blog but I'm gonna just scratch that 'cause they're not relevant~

☆ three ships ㅡ Three ships I am very much in love with atm are Nikolai/Zoya (the Grisha verse), Chandler/Monica (FRIENDS) & Alina/The Darkling (the Grisha verse)~ Like I've not even watched Shadow & Bone yet but every time I see something about it it takes me right back to the books and the energy that DarkLina have is just so so so so so so good, it's so perfect, little scared the show is gonna fail to capture it as it has failed to capture some other things...

☆ last song ㅡ The last song I listened to was F U Anthem by Leah Kate~ I'm seeing Hayley Kiyoko in literally like two weeks and I'm pretty sure she's the opener for her and I'm very excited about it all because her songs are kinda all edgy heartbreak songs and going to bring such a good energy to the show before Hayley comes on~

☆ last movie ㅡ The last movie I watched in full was Carol but the last movie I caught on TV, that I absolutely adore, was Legally Blonde~

☆ currently reading ㅡ King of Scars by Leigh Bardugo

☆ currently watching ㅡ I'm kinda really slow with watching stuff at a moment, partly because I tend to watch random youtube stuff instead and other stuff I save to watch with my sister but the shows I'm currently watching very slowly are Love (it's on Netflix, it's kinda alright, I'm only a few eps in so we'll see) and Twenty Five, Twenty One (I'm liking it but I'm not entirely sure how I feel about the main couple yet with their sort of age difference and how this guy kinda only hangs out with high school kids... idk it's a bit of an odd one but it's got great people in it)

☆ currently consuming ㅡ Mentally ejbgjre lots of Sims 4 youtube videos... I have this weird thing where I watch a lot of Sims 4 youtubers but I actually refuse to play the Sims 4 partly because I'm a Sims 3 loyalist and partly because without so many of the ridiculously priced packs it doesn't seem worth it??? So I like to watch youtubers with all the packs play it and live vicariously through them, y'know, like a normal person.

☆ craving ㅡ Something sweet and/or water right now, I just had bacon and cheese pita sandwiches which were very delicious but that's a lot of savoury/salt and I tend to eat in extremes like that????

I'm gonna tag a few of my lovely mutuals as usual, if you fancy taking part then here ya go and if not I hope you're having a lovely day~ Also I'm sorry I always end up tagging the same people ejgberjge I cannot remember urls for the life of me~

@seuiqi, @kseulgiz, @joshriku, @solaarflaree, @eternallys, @ohmuqueen, @justdoityo, @mizugucci, @mykindofkpop

[stilessderek]

My Road To Becoming A Stay

According to my YT this date a year ago (7th of April 2022) marks the 1st anniversary of me first time watching anything Stray Kids. It all started with ODDINARY Main Trailer, however, it didn't make me a Stay just yet. Due to this day being a day that started my journey to finding Stray Kids and them changing my life, I decided to create a post showing my journey and lists of favorites. As you can probably see, I can’t decided on favorite songs as they have SO MANY GOOD ONES! First encounter: ODDINARY Main Trailer (thought it was BL (boys love) trailer with Felix and Hyunjin as main leads first. When I realized it was kpop I lost interested as I thought the music style wasn’t for me). Based on my YT log, I watched the trailer the 6th of April 2022. First song I heard: Maniac (kept showing up after I had seen ODDINARY trailer and eventually gave in and watched it). Song that made me a repeat listener: I watched Circus on the 12th of June 2022, along with Your Eyes that day but it wasn’t until 17th of June 2022 (according to my YT log) when I ended up listening to Neverending Story and Venom on the 28th of June 2022 (according to my YT log) that I became a Stay. First bias: Felix and Hyunjin. First ship: (I’m a shipper, I can’t help it) Hyunlix. Music videos that made me watch them over and over: (this is when I realized that I actually enjoyed listening to the music) Venom, Circus, Thunderous, God’s Menu, Back Door and Maniac. Before I knew it I was listening and watching (YouTube/TikTok) them all the time. Current bias: Felix, Hyunjin, Bang Chan, Lee Know, (that isn’t to say I don’t love Changbin, I.N, Han and Seungmin; each have something I like but those four above just makes my heart flutter a LITTLE bit more. Though I have to be honest that Han is taking up space in my mind more and more....).  Current ship: Hyunlix (the more I see of them, the more I love them; they’ve become my comfort (friend)ship), but I also really adore Chanlix. Stray Kids became my comfort place. I adore watching their chaotic videos and their music is amazing. It’s the first thing I do when I wake up. Stray Kids makes Stay stay. List of favorite songs: 1) Neverending Story (Tie) 1) Behind The Light (Tie) 2) Venom 3) Slump 4) Easy 5) Hellevator  5) Taste (Tie) 6) 24 to 25 (Tie) 6) Get Cool (Tie) 6) Lonely St. 7) Waiting For Us (Tie) 7) Red Lights (Tie) 7) The View (Tie) 8) Gone Days (Tie) 8) Circus (Tie) 8) Thunderous (Tie) 9) God's Menu 9) Back Door (Tie) 10) Maniac (Tie) 11) Charmer (Tie) 11) Domino (Tie) 11) Christmas EveL (Tie) 11) Wolfgang (Tie) 12) Scars (Tie) 12) Sorry, I Love You (Tie) 13) LoveStay  14) Secret Secret 15) Grow Up Honorable mentions: You Can Stay, Double Knot, Mixtape: Oh, My Universe, Placebo, Gone Away, Blueprint, Voices, I am YOU, Levanter, Victory Song, Here Always, HEYDAY, District 9, 3RACHA, Chill, Surfing, Ex, Wow, Airplane, Astronaut, SSick, Hello Stranger, B Me, There, Novel, Lost Me, DLMLU, Case 143 Favorite SKZ-REPLAY Songs: Deep End, Limbo, Love Untold, i hate to admit, Alien, Wish You Back, Up All Night, Drive, HaPpY, ice.cream, Piece of a Puzzle, Because, Zone, Streetlight (this is in order)

[maskymoo]

Procreate. Never got the hang of it and I like to use it for animation instead.

I often draw characters facing to the right or left because drawing in the front can get a bit confusing for me, since many of the characters I draw have some sort of complication in their designs I need to spend extra time on when drawing them.

Idk. I guess you consider a very small detail that's part of the art style that I've had since I technically started my art.

Bella, Scar, and Annie. I love them to death but I often have trouble keeping their scars consistent between drawings.

I post most of my art online since I do usually post daily. There are a few drawings I keep for myself, but those are usually just sketches.

I know a lot of art styles from artists I use to like have served as unintentional inspiration for how I draw and parts of my style.

Rug art. spay painting, painting, embroidery, really any art that isn't digital. I would love to do those someday, but all the physical labor is difficult and I have a huge respect for people that do art like that.

I got a few, but making comics has always been a huge difficulty when I try to actually finish one. There's one piece I love about how it turned out, but it's actually an unfinished comic. I also have trouble making huge pieces that include more than 4 to 5 characters all interacting with each other.

Just put a and the number after that so when I upload a file of my art it shows at the front of my files. Makes my job easier since I upload on 4 different sites and I also try to share my art frequently

Robes/dresses. Long, don't take that long, can just be one color.

I usually listen to podcasts, videos, or playlists with music from Youtube. I got too many things to watch/listen to, so it all works out.

The entire face/head. Been practicing for years.

A few artists that I use to follow had lovely art, but the vibe of the art wasn't something I wasn't exactly fond of.

Depends on the piece and what story it may tell. So not exactly, but maybe in the future I'll figure out what motifs I like.

Anywhere lol. Home, in public, standing, sitting, laying down, doing a back kick on a kid, as long as I can hold my tablet with minimum shaking, I'm fine drawing anywhere.

Flipping the canvas. I love to see how much I've improved with how both sides look, but it kinda sucks since I'm not used to it and it takes up more time when I'm drawing.

Yep! Anything really as long as I can munch/sip on while drawing.

Had a tablet of mine broken by someone else. I try to be very careful with my stuff since it's all expensive.

Flowers and pillows. Means it's usually a simple, happy piece!

Hands, the other eye, doing a fullbody. I mean, I did work hard to master those things, which I am proud of!

Semi/realistic art. Whether it can still be considered cartoon art or not, I love those ttyposstyles, and I can only hope that with time and practice, I can also develop a style like that.

I stretch my arms and hands.

Nope!

Yep. All the time!

Stories that I've never read before but that person has.

Someone asked my if a feral cat I drew had boobs. It was a very uncomfortable experience.

No. Just straight into work.

I've entered into a few thumbnail contests for MAPs and I am currently in a zine. I've also been part of a few collabrotions that are still kinda in the works.

A lot cartoons watch inspire me to create, but not as specific inspiration for my art.

The piece below isn't underrated itself, I just love showing it around like a parent with their kid. It's just fun to show a piece I genuinly shows my ability as an artist.

Weirdly Specific Artist Ask Game

Didn't see a lot of artist ask games, wanted to make a silly one.

(I wrote this while sick out of my mind last year and it's been collecting dust in my drafts, I might as well let it run free) 1. Art programs you have but don't use

2. Is it easier to draw someone facing left or right (or forward even)

3. What ideas come from when you were little

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

6. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously (i.e. this horse wasn't supposed to look like the Last Unicorn but I see it)

7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in

9. What are your file name conventions

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

12. Easiest part of body to draw

13. A creator who you admire but whose work isn't your thing

14. Any favorite motifs

15. *Where* do you draw (don't drop your ip address this just means do you doodle at a park or smth)

16. Something you are good at but don't really have fun doing

17. Do you eat/drink when drawing? if so, what

18. An estimate of how much art supplies you've broken

19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy

21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways

22. What physical exercises do you do before drawing, if any

23. Do you use different layer modes

24. Do your references include stock images

25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by

26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with

28. Any art events you have participated in the past (like zines)

29. Media you love, but doesn't inspire you artistically

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

[nx08h63bitchyobservationnerd]

xnxn indo

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[pose4photoml]

I'm not sure if you care or wanna listen I'm hoping venting here is ok. I was 12 and I met them I befriended them because I felt different for a character it's fnaf and barely anyone understood me so I wanted to be close our relationship wasn't great he was very obsessive with the idea of fame it was gross pre-say constantly pushing me to give him shoutouts and find ways to make him more subsbers and fame in the end, moving on to early 13 after 12 if I say which he'll target me he's trying to make it look like he was innocent after someone explained to him I was correct and Its ok to have 'opinions' on fandoms. Basically it was a video fnaf I was trying to suggestions on what to change or include the character I thought of came up he called me dumb lots of other stuff I have a mental disability for reference he's aware said by himself due to the slurs most in community tab which he deleted to prove he's innocent which is just gross. Basically I made a few reply videos saying what's happening I explained it was harassment and then he was trying to prove I was harassing him ofc he didn't have prove claimed I didn't my proof is his channel I was a kid expressing myself and again I made gacha videos during the time so my storage was sorta always full I was one of those kids who took indiviual screenshots to make YouTube videos I know it's weird I have a better solution now but again I was a kid almost 13 during the time or was not sure. Basically he used my face a minor and asked people to talk to me having many people threaten me based off stuff he knew wasn't true he photoshopped stuff which most of it is deleted right now because yes he's trying to look innocent I remember a specific video he called my mom sexists slurs because I told her and threatened me when he found out she was actually a mother it's honestly disgusting but truth he got multiple friends who were female to prove I was lying ofc he lost most of them after they found out but still, turn down to now he had people attack me a lot I was very open about mental health I know he's aware because he openly admitted to stalking my socials so I'd stay quiet on him and "exposed" my vents and made sure if I ever told my friend people would publicly mock me so I couldn't feel safe he gave me PTSD and I self harm so tbh I'd love to hear him prove he's the one in pain especially when he mocks me constantly publicly still dose. I death threat him it's not good but tbh I was reporting roleplaying with my friend and that's why I felt better YouTube tells viewers to report content. If you recognize this post be aware he's trying to make me delete my accounts so it looks like I'm obsessed it's gross but tbh true also pretending to be me and acting stereotypically how he claimed I'm like in his videos so it's very obvious but just letting everyone know his user is DallenNye

Hey Anon~

Yes you can always come here to vent!

Sorry you’re going through this. Self harm is never the answer I like to read from anyone and I hate you feel the need to do that. If we are being honest due to pain in my past, I have self harmed and while it may make you feel better at first looking back at the scars can actually bring up the pain.

Not sure if you pray but I do and I will keep you in my prayers that one day this will all be behind you and you can live a peaceful life.

[icycoldninja]

My nickname with my brother and his friends is Ninja, but my parents still call me Pumpkin.

My birthday's in late March, the rest is classified, if you don't mind. 💜

Never had a relationship.

I have so many favorite books I can't choose just one! Though, if I had to, it'd be any one of the Death Gate series.

My skin. I have dark eyebags from stress keeping me up too late and lots of acne scars on my nose.

Uhh...I haven't crushed on a celebrity since I was a kid, so memory's fuzzy, but I guess Jason Frank from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. (RIP)

Not attracted to other women, so none.

My dream job is either to be an AI engineer or a PenTester.

My biggest accomplishment was successfully programming a website made to function like an art gallery of old family photos all by myself.

I'm called Ninja for a reason. I can disappear without anyone seeing me and I can just sit quietly in the corner, being one with the furniture. You'll never know I'm there.

My highest point this past month was probably the last two weeks; my lowest was the week before when I closed requests.

I'd like to visit China or Vancouver's Chinatown someday.

One of 3 ways: A) Go do some crafting with music on, B) Do Just Dance and make sure to play all the songs with the "motivational" tag, or C) Play some video games.

Don't have many apps, but maybe YouTube cause it's so versatile.

I have two sides, one mean, one quiet; which one I show to you depends on who you are to me.

My eyes. They're big and I can use them to stare directly into your soul. The dark circles help bring out the color for an added bonus.

I'm great at writing, and not just creative writing, I can write essays, letters, whatever (except poetry but we'll get to that in the next question). I've been writing stories since I was 7 years old, so I've had plenty of time to practice.

I am horrible at writing and interpreting poetry. I just don't understand it. Back in grade 10 I had to study William Blake poetry for English and to this day I have no idea what Auguries of Innocence is supposed be talking about.

I lie a lot, but I'm exceptionally proud of the time I told my brother I was a witch when we were kids and proceeded to do some basic magic tricks to prove it. He still believes me to this day.

Apple seeds have cyanide in them. Genesis would love to know this information if he doesn't already.

I keep secrets from everyone, but my mom knows more of them than anyone else.

My first teddy bear. Yes, it's childish, but I've literally had that thing since I was born.

Friendship? What's that?

The first time I felt like an adult was when I drank coffee for the first time. I remember thinking, "Shit, it's happening, I'm growing up."

Nope. Never played sports, never want to. It's not in my list of interests.

Neutral, I guess. Still a little tired from a long week of work, but otherwise fine.

Night owl. For this reason, my day starts backwards, I wake up tired and go to bed wide awake. At least I get more work done in the evening.

Not at all. Unless you're at a music festival, there's no way you'll look at another person and just fall in love while romantic songs play in the background.

"I'm a bitch and a boss, I'ma shine like gloss" -Boss Bitch by Doja Cat

Self care is working out till you feel like passing out, taking a nice hot shower, then having a sweet treat and watching TV.

LISA, Jennie, and Ariana Grande.

Having to talk to strangers and/or making appointments. I can't help it.

I can't explain why but I HATE IT when people misuse "their, there, they're, your and you're". I don't know why it bothers me, but it does. A lot.

Thinking about how things were in the old days when I was little and life was good, wishing I could go back to that time.

I dunno. I don't meet lots of people.

If you could have any magical power, what would it be? For me, I'd want to be an ice dragon slayer.

Tagging: @crisiscutie @rottenpumpkin13 @tiri5459 @sacredwarrior88 @snowbanshee @motivationraiden @everdreamtree + whoever else wants to join

Question Game

Are we tired of these yet?

What is your nickname?

When is your birthday?

What was your longest relationship?

What is your favorite book?

What is something you're insecure about?

5 Male celebrity crushes

5 Female celebrity crushes

What is your dream job?

What do you consider your biggest accomplishment?

What is a fact about you that nobody would believe?

What were your highs and lows for this last month?

Where is somewhere you'd like to visit?

How do you de-stress?

What are your favorite apps besides tumblr?

Describe yourself in one sentence.

What do you think makes you attractive?

What is something you're really good at?

What is something you're really bad at?

A time that you told a lie.

What's a totally random and useless fact that you know?

Who knows you the best?

What is your most prized possession?

What is your longest friendship?

When did you first feel like an adult?

Do you/ Have you played any sports?

How are you feeling right now?

Are you an early bird or a night owl?

Do you believe in love at first sight?

Favorite song lyrics right now?

What does self care look like for you?

Describe yourself with 3 singers.

What makes you nervous?

What’s a pet peeve you have?

What will always make you cry?

What kind of first impression do you think you make on people?

Free Pass! (Ask any question you want that's not on the list)

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

~*~

1. Hello, I was hoping that you lovely people can help me find an ao3 fic that I’ve been searching for. WWX is brought back the same way as canon but it wasn’t MXY who summoned him but an original character. WWX ends up in Cloud Recesses because he interacts with LXC AND LWJ a lot in the story. The twist is that the person who brought WWX back hated him so much that he wanted WWX to suffer really badly. WWX figures it out/knows. It does end up with a happy ending. Thank you!~

Hello, beautiful people. Im the anon who submitted #1 from the latest fic finder post. Unfortunately the fic I’m looking for is not Beauty and the Boot. The original character who summoned WWX was male and hated the Yiling Patriarch. The fic had a lot of angst as well if that helps🥲

NOT FOUND! ❤️Beauty and the Boot by PTchan (T, 44k, wangxian, summoned by f!oc, Canon Divergence, Romantic Comedy, Genderbending, Denial, Fem!WWX, WangXian kids, Crack-ish, WIP)

FOUND! A Storm of Laughter in the Stillness of the Jingshi by OnlyMeAndMyBones (T, 73k, WangXian, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Recovery, Pain, Mental Illness, Depression, PTSD, Rehabilitation, slow burn but significantly less so than canon, miscommunication is still a thing tho, Empathy, Guilt, Forgiveness, it's not THAT dark actually)

~*~

2. Hey. I've been looking for a fic that I read I while ago for so long. WWX accidentally sets off a talisman and gets deaged.? I remember that he is stuck in that form for a while and takes zidian from JC. Later when he finds out about LWJs scars on his back he threatens the lan elders with it and says something like this isn't even hia weapon and imagine if he dad one of his own.. thanks bye 

FOUND? Silver & Gold by beeswaxing  (E, 162k, wangxian, Mojo’s post)

~*~

3. Hi! I'm trying to find a wangxian fanfic I read long ago. It's where LWJ is engaged to JYL and WWX is engaged to JZX. I remember a specific part where JZX got jealous when he saw WWX and LWJ hanging out a lot and told WWX that he is his and not LWJs. WWX took offense to this and punched JZX telling him he cant control him. Endgame is ofc wangxian but yeah. I cant find it 😭 @journalsofagoddess

FOUND? Neatly Arranged by thunderwear (T, 45k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Angst with a Happy Ending, lwj’s mother is here but only briefly, RIP, Shenanigans, Fix-It, of sorts, Canonical Character Death, but not all, did i forget to tag pining, because this fic is like 90 percent pining, Hurt/Comfort)

~*~

4. Hello! Thank you for your hard work! I'm trying to find a fic there LWJ is a youtuber, and he does these 'day in the life of a college student' where he's just perfect at everything- meticulous, on top of his life and studies, and ultra competent. WWX, at the same college, then posts a response video where he shows what's it really like as a student and its just a troll/spoof of LWJ's vids where he cries like three times a day and eats junk food, etc. This goes on for months, with many videos and WWX accidentally becomes popular. Then wangxian meet and fall in love about it. NHS and JC help WWX with the vids, and i think the summary said something like 'three idiots make a youtube channel'. Anyway, hope someone can put together better search parameters than me. Thank you! @somevariationofgay

FOUND! like, comment, share & subscribe by detectorist (T, 22k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, YouTube, Social Media, Flirting, Humour, Banter, Getting Together, First Kiss, Texting, so much texting, Youtubers For Social Justice, The Gang Gets Political, Competitive Flirting Via The Medium Of Youtube, it's about the yearning, YouTube Rivals To Lovers)

~*~

5. Hi! I recently found this page and it looks amazing. I’ve been looking for the AO3 au fic. The premise is that in this world, people are able to essentially enter their minds kind of like a vr situation and create worlds. This has become a very lucrative business. Wei ying entered a simulation that was MDZS and as a result he entered a 13 month coma. Everyone thought he was dead. But he retired from the business. But then the juniors call him in for “one last mission” which is basically the yi city arc. and he and lan zhan work through some unspoken tension and then they get together. @awkwardly-cry-ing-in-the-corner

FOUND! some lovely, perilous thing by varnes (E, 24k, WangXian, Inception Fusion, Criminal Associates To Lovers, Heist Case Fic)

~*~

6. Hey, it's me again haha so I read this ff long time ago and it was soo good unfortunately i cant remember the title

So like, the cultivation world needs yiling laozu's help and they tried to summon him using mo xuanyu but they failed since yl lz appeared in his own original body and not in mxy. Anyway so history repeats itself, wwx knows everybody especially lan zhan cuz he his "friend" that time. They became curious about wwx, they found his journal and he kept talking about this certain friend eventually they found out the friend's name is lan zhan lan wangji. Time skip they found out that lwj reincarnated, he looks exactly the same as wwx's friend. Lxc said it was impossible cuz all their ancestors died because of an explosion that was caused by wwx bavk in the day.

There is this spefic scene, wwx kept blaming himself because he was the reasom why lz died, ok so lz married a woman (arranged marriage) and had child with her, wy was heartbroken and told lz that he has feelings for him, lz also has feelings for him, so when lz heard that the sects will have a siege in burial mounds he went there and protected wy then something happened and the surroundings explode.

Anyway, they have come to a conclusion that wy is an immortal, he took care of lz's child, lz reincarnated he fought really hard to keep his body and appearance the same

Thank you thank youuuuuuuu for all your hard work @hellothere9597

FOUND? Old Foreshadows by protos_metazu_ison (M, 15k, WangXian, YL WWX, BAMF WWX, War, Universe Alteration, Sunshot Campaign, Rated For Violence, Timeline What Timeline)

~*~

7. Hi hi, I hope y'all are doing well ^^ Ive recently been thinking about a fic i read in late 2019/early 2020 and I was hoping to get some help finding it? What I remember about it is that after Mo Manor, wwx doesnt go to Dafan mountain and instead travels until he finds a village and starts working there as a farmer. wn is also there after a while and he helps wwx. lwj visits the village but doesnt recognize wwx at first. If anyone knows what fic this is id be vv grateful! @storming-raumo

FOUND? focal, filler, and line by bosbie (T, 26k, wangxian, canon divergence, flower shop au, fluff, hurt/comfort, pining, falling in love, WWX is not recognized in Dafan mountain, slice of life, WIP) wwx is not a farmer but the rest checks out

~*~

8. Fic finder! I binged All Of The Yiling Wei Sect AUs recently and they all kind of blurred together in my brain, so I THINK all of this happens in the same fic but I could be wrong and if I am I'm so, so sorry. In the fic Wei Wuxian very briefly worked with the talisman scammer to sell actual Yiling Laozu talismans for a decent penny, then one of the Wen uncles convinced him they should set up their own stall. They made talisman paper out of the burial mounds bamboo and it was red. There was a scene when the Wen went on trial and Wen Ning was able to speak to the people in the room, proving that he's cognizant and not a mindless puppet. The Jiang ended up taking the Wei as a subordinate sect I believe? And WWX started to make friends with Jin Guangyao. @lewiscarrolatemybrain

FOUND! Grave dirt by esama (T, 92k, wangxian, canon divergence, necromancy, demonic cultivation, farming, found family, pre-slash, politics, Fix-it of sorts, yilingwei sect au)

~*~

9. I am looking for a fic, maybe it is part of the Amnesia rec list, or if not it should be! Wwx has lost about 2 months of memory. Turns out that in that time he and LZ got engaged. He tries to work out if this is a real engagement or not. There is also a discussion conference at CR and Jiang Cheng is there. I particularly remember the scene where Wwx finds out the engagement wasn't real, goes to JC and cries about it. Then JC storms to the Jingshi to shout at LZ for making WY cry. I love that scene, but who wrote it again? Thanks for helping me out! @kesterling

FOUND! put your heart where your mouth is by protos_metazu_ison (T, 20k, wangxian, JC & WWX, post-canon, misunderstanding, memory loss, pining & insecure WWX, happy ending, twin prides of yunmeng feels, fluff & angst, protective JC)

~*~

10. Hi, I'm looking for a fic where the sword goes through both JYL and JC at Nightless City. WWX takes them both back to Lotus Pier and essentially locks the place behind a barrier, but the sect itself doesn't really mind. I think it was one chapter in a collection but I can't be sure.

FOUND? Chapter 2 of Cosmic by apathyinreverie (T, 10k, wangxian, JC & WWX & JYL, everyone lives au, yunmeng sibling dynamics, protective yunmeng Jiang sect, romance, smitten LWJ, oblivious WWX, powerful WWX, possessive LWJ, soft WWX, streetkid WWX, time travel fix-it, modern setting)

~*~

11. Hi! Love the work you all do. Keep the good work. So for a fic finder... I've been looking for this fic I started reading a while ago but then had to stop. I'm pretty sure I bookmarked it but alas I haven't had any luck finding it. That's why I'm putting my faith in you guys and the readers. So this is what I remember: it was a WIP, it was post canon, wangxian, JC and JL are in CR, JC want a fight, WWX said a few truth and JL goes to WWX, it is said that JYL went to the battle to die on purpose. @multitudeofmes

FOUND! What Happens When The Self-Sacrifing Idiot Snaps by WiFi_Stalker (Not rated, 1k, wangxian, post-canon, not Jiang friendly, not YZY friendly, not JC friendly, not JYL friendly, WWX snaps, WIP)

~*~

12. I'm looking for a fic from 1-2 years ago, in English, was a WIP, where LWJ is Chief Cultivator and WWX is wandering on his own. WWX meets a nobleman who invites WWX to stay with him and encourages him to use his cultivation, to the benefit of the common people. The fic was from LWJ's perspective (I think?) and mostly took place in letters exchanged, with some exposition before or after a letter. Wangxian implied, not confirmed; fic author debating confirmation. Does the fic still exist? @acasualgeek

FOUND? To Start A Bridge From A Single Log by ChilianXianzi (T, 4k, wangxian, WWX & OMC, post-canon, chief cultivator LWJ, inventor WWX, politics, epistolary, pining, jealous LWJ, sugar baby WWX, WIP)

~*~

13. Hi! I need help finding this fic. It's a special agent (James bond style) Lan Wangji and Q Wei Wuxian. I tried looking everywhere and with every tag I could think of on AO3 but I could only find the one where Wei Wuxian is a 007. I remember it starts out with Lan Wangji in the car watching a house or something and then Wei Wuxian talks to him over an ear com. He had to take MianMian's place as she was busy/ on pregnancy leave? I can't remember. Also, Wei Wuxian gets shocked when he realizes Lan Wangji always brings back his kit in perfect condition. Thank you!!

FOUND? 💖 some life yet unspent by Fahye (E, 28k, wangxian, spies & secret agents au)

~*~

14. Is the one fic, where Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji dual cultivate a Yin core in Wei Wuxian still up on AO3? Wei Wuxian, before he knows he’s going to dual cultivate with Lan Wangji, has nightmares that he’s going to have to dial cultivate with Wen Qing. Lan Wangji has to rail him five times in a night.

FOUND! i had to abandon myself (you took all of me) by justdoityoufucker (E, 27k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Novel Characterizations, Philosophy, Illnesses, Chronic Pain, Cultivation Sect Politics, Dual Cultivation, LWJ fucks a core into WWX, On Hiatus) might be this? Unfortunately it's on hiatus right now :[

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15. Hello! I don’t know if this fic is still up. I couldn’t find it so… I can remember some details of this fic, but it’s basically a shameless Lan Wangji time-travel fanfic where he changes the whole story by saving Wei Wuxian from the beginning in Cloud Recesses. I forgot the name… I remember that part of the summary was the line; “If you give me a kiss, I’ll let you go.” Or something like that…

FOUND! could be the deleted "OOC!" by A_flower_in_the_snow. It was reuploaded on Wattpad

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16. i read a fic a while ago where WWX survived the seige but lost most of his memory and ended up finding a shrine and moving in there. He stayed there with a-yuan for years taking care of the shrine. Eventually LWJ found him. thats really all i remember but if you could help me find it that would be amazing!! thank you!!! :)

FOUND? #16 was This House is Loved by Ribena but has been deleted

SIMILAR! And They Have Escaped The Weight of Darkness by cosmicmilktea (T, 10k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Memory Loss, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Screw the Cultivation world tbh, The Lan precepts deserves better, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, domestic life, Social justice boyfriends wangxian, Happy Ending) is a deleted fic, however this fic is similar to it (no ayuan tho)

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17. Hi first of all thank you for your womderful work i always find good fics to read because of this blog next please help me find this fic ive been serching all over. This fic is a role reversal instead of wwx its lwj who died. I remember that he died before the 33rd whip and a lan member got guilty and brought him back. His ribbon was also missing in the beginning of the story. wwx is a sec leader now yiling wei sect at wei sizhui brought lwj to get help because lwj is looking for something and he hides is face. Thank you for the help and good job @ladyxyraine

FOUND? Restart from the End by EmBlu (IcyDeath) (G, 71k, wangxian, resurrection, canon divergence, temporary major character death (LWJ), JYL & JZX & NMJ live, yilingwei sect au, sect leader WWX, angst, hurt/comfort, angry WWX, grief, slow burn, wei sizhui, WIP)

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18. i'm sure i'll find it before this is answered, but just in case, i remembered a line from a fic but i don't remember what it's called. it's something like "wwx imagined sizhui's face on a series of progressively younger children. this is what he may have looked like at 13; at 9; at 6. this is how your child grew without you." thank you!!!!! @kisskissgotohell

FOUND! your name, safe in their mouth by astrolesbian (G, 10k, LSZ & WWX & LWJ, WangXian, Father-Son Relationship, Injury, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, More aligned with CQL than novel canon, Miscommunication, Eventual Positive Communication, Trying to be a family, how to tell your dad you want him to be your dad in 6 easy steps!)

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19. Hello! Thank you so much to all of the mods for what you do! I’m hoping to find this post-canon mpreg fic that I read from a while back. WWX didn’t immediately tell LWJ about the pregnancy out of fear that it won’t push through or something. Some people were alive (like Wen Qing who secretly did WWX’s checkup and told him about the pregnancy) but not JYL. WWX also stopped drinking wine and started eating healthier to ensure the baby’s growth? Which kinda made LWJ suspicious? There was also a part where WWX visited JC in Lotus Pier, and JC was able to guess at WWX’s pregnancy and they had a really nice conversation and reconciliation. I’m sorry if some of these details might have been from other mpreg fics that I unknowingly confused with the one I’m looking for, but I hope the others are accurate enough to help! Thank you so much again! Y’all are a blessing!

FOUND? Unexpected Lullaby by SilverStark (T, 30k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Minor Original Character(s), Unplanned Pregnancy, Post-Canon, Mpreg, Non-ABO, Fluff, Established Relationship, Reconciliation, Family, Dual Cultivation Baby)

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20. I'm looking for a fanfic that the modern Wei Wuxian ends up traveling to the past because of a book he found. I also remember that it turns out that all the characters that are dead come back to life

FOUND? Could be the deleted series by yareyarejojosan. Someone uploaded the author's works to Google Drive

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[drdemonprince]

hi devon! i recently binged all your medium articles, your writing hits so close to home and has opened so many doors of self-reflection for me, thank you. one of your latest ones was about porn and autism, i have some differing opinions on porn itself, but i enjoyed your perspective on it.

i would love to hear your thoughts on autism and hypersexuality in a broader sense. i’m someone that’s recently realised how much my premature exposure to sexuality and porn in childhood made me hypersexual in a way that really stunted my personal growth and had me traumatising myself with my own compulsive sexual behavior. as an undiagnosed autistic adhd kid i was just grasping after any form of stimulating and self-soothing behavior, but also looking after ways to make myself more interesting and appealing to peers and most importantly boys (because interest from men = value as a human i learned early on). i think i could’ve figured out gender and sexuality stuff a little earlier and avoided my comphet phase had it not been for how obsessed i was with sexualising and objectifying myself in my tweens and early teens tbh. i hope to see more people talking about autism and sexuality. my heart breaks thinking about how so many demonise kids with problematic sexualised behavior when they’re literal children trying to figure out this having a body thing and there’s usually grown-ups around them standing idly by doing nothing effective to help.

Hi there! I love hearing from people who don't share my perspective completely but can still get a lot out of my work.

I alluded to this yesterday, but I don't believe hypersexuality or hyposexuality are a thing. Where do we draw the line where it becomes pathological, and why? Clearly humans have varied in how much they desire and think about sex since the beginning of time, and while we still have not figured out a respectful, appropriate way to cope with the fact of it, children also sometimes have an interest in sex and masturbation and a curiosity about it that is completely value neutral. It's just a thing that happens because children are living human beings.

Unfortunately we inhabit a paradigm where this is supposed to be either ignored or punished and discouraged, and anyone who does bring it up is viewed as having some ulterior motive beyond the liberation of children from abuse. And so if a child is curious about sex or driven to explore it in some way, they only means they have of pursuing that interest is by consuming adult material, which a lot of people look back on having done with a variety of different feelings. It sounds like you saw a lot of porn from a young age that really gave you unhelpful expectations for yourself and others and that it really hurt you, and I'm really sorry to hear that.

I consumed a lot of adult content as a child and a teen, not just porn but also real life gore and jump scare videos and elaborate, violent sexual stories, and of all those experiences, the only one that seemed to scar me was the jump scare videos. Seriously, newgrounds fucked me up, and not because I was playing games like Orgasm Angel. It was shit like kikia that fucked me up. The potential that my most beloved friend, the computer, could start screaming at me and showing me dead babies at any moment meant I was on edge and obsessively read all the comments on every video I ever viewed for like... seven or eight years. Even if a friend or classmate wanted to show me a youtube video, I forced them to read through all the comments and convince me it wasn't a jumpscare video first. For like years.

It might be that the only reason I was able to watch and read and play a lot of porn online as a kid without any real adverse effects was because I had a really specific fetish, and so most of the content I was able to view was of an obviously fictional and fantastical variety or was made directly by the people who starred in it. As I wrote in my essay, I'm glad that I started watching brainwashing gifs on weird websites and masturbating to them as a kid. It helped me feel less alone in my fetish and it didn't scar me, and provided a sexual outlet that was actually pretty safe and private and didn't put me in contact with any adults. It was a really nice pressure valve, a way to stim and zone out and regulate my breathing and get off, and finding content like that helped me to realize there was a whole big wide world out there where freaks like me could be okay.

THAT said, I can understand your experience! Porn didn't fuck me up as a kid, but I did learn some really pernicious sexual norms as a teen, because I had abstinence only education at school and I obsessively read Dan Savage's advice column Savage Love as a replacement for having any kind of credible sex ed. I used to worship Dan Savage. I met him for pancakes once, you can read about my whole complex relationship to him and his work in a very old piece I wrote pre transition here:

Dan Savage's work was really influential on me and on a lot of people of my generation. From his stuff, I learned that I should be good, giving, and game for just about anything a partner wanted -- which meant I pressured myself to do things I didn't always want to do. He normalized a kind of casual, unarticulated nonmonogamy among people of my age group including everyone I dated -- and so being open without really discussing what that meant was the norm for me from age 19 until about age 23.

Dan Savage wrote that blowjobs come standard and that any model who is not equipped with them should be returned to the lot -- thats really how he described women who didn't do oral. As broken cars. Dan Savage said that asexuals should only date other asexuals and probably werent real anyway. He said vaginas looked like canned hams dropped from great heights. He said a gay trans guy who couldnt take T for health reasons was 'delusional' for wanting to date fellow gay men. Reading Dan Savage fucked me up, and it's not even his fault -- he was just an outspoken faggot with an advice column that was always clear in reflecting his biases and agendas, and I was just a horny confused kid with no sex education and no where else to learn about sex other than porn and the back of the local alternative mag.

So, this is all a very long and meandering way of saying that I'm sorry you also got attached very young to untrustworthy sources of sexual information and that they also scarred you and left you pressured to be something you were not. I was there. I think many of my generation were and some still are. and not just the Autistics. I know so many people who got swept up in the messages that conventional porn and writers like dan savage had to peddle -- straight people, queer people, poly people, disabled people, everyone. The sad part is that Dan Savage for all his faults was still a lot more progressive than where many of my peers turned, which was sites like efukt or the predecessors to the chan sites and shit. It was brutal out there.

It's also the case that many of us Autistic people are prone to intense fixation and rumination and obsession, by neurotypical standards, sometimes to our detriment, sometimes in a completely neutral way that would cause us zero harm if it weren't for all the societal stigma and judgement. and that can mean that, especially when we are lonely and closeted teens, that we retreat into a lot of damaging digital messages and imagery, and I think a lot of bad, sexist straight porn unfortunately played that role in a lot of people's lives. My version of that was instead compulsively reading pro ana livejournals (as a teen) and then later terf detransition blogs (in my 20s). So again I don't think it's necessarily a phemoneon of porn per se, but obviously there is a lot of really toxic shit out there that has warped a lot of people's viewpoints around sex and relationships, I can't deny that.

I wish I knew what the solution was to help prevent future generations of kids from going through the kinds of damage you and I went through, but I think we are so far from being prepared as a culture to have this conversation that most attempts to broach it end up making things worse for kids in all kinds of scary new ways -- parents heavily monitoring and controlling their kids browsing habits for example. That sure as hell isn't going to help a closeted queer kid who is exploring themselves in most cases. Instead of building a world that is more liberatory and supportive to kids, we just keep trying to control them more and more, and impose more and more strict standards on them, which always hurts the weirdest and queerest among us the worse. It fucking sucks. Shit. i really am going to have to write about about child liberation one day wont i