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#Manage Pissed Consumer Review
admyanet · 2 years
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Admya Infotech is a leading Online Reputation Management Consultant that helps businesses or agency to manage their Brand Reputation Management.
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This day in history
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I'm on tour with my new novel The Bezzle! Catch me TONIGHT (Feb 27) in Portland at Powell's. Then, onto Phoenix (Changing Hands, Feb 29), Tucson (Mar 9-12), and more!
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#15yrsago Amusement park offers surveillance footage of you as a souvenir https://web.archive.org/web/20090401000000*/https://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1198732.ece
#10yrsago Report from Trustycon: like RSA, but without the corruption https://www.cnet.com/news/privacy/trustycons-rsa-conference-rebels-promise-more-to-come/
#10yrsago King no longer claims to own “candy,” still claims it owns “saga” https://www.techdirt.com/2014/02/26/king-backs-off-ridiculously-broad-candy-trademark-will-still-be-obnoxious-other-ways/
#5yrsago #FixItAlready: EFF’s wishlist for fixing tech’s worst privacy and security choices https://fixitalready.eff.org/#/
#5yrsago The “Reputation Management” industry continues to depend on forged legal documents https://www.techdirt.com/2019/02/28/pissed-consumer-exposes-new-york-luxury-car-dealers-use-bogus-notarized-letters-to-remove-critical-reviews-update/
#5yrsago Pentagon Inspector General reveals widespread retaliation against whistleblowers with impunity for the retaliators and the wrongdoers https://rollcall.com/2019/02/25/pentagon-harbors-culture-of-revenge-against-whistleblowers/
#5yrsago Amazon killed Seattle’s homelessness-relief tax by threatening not to move into a massive new building, then they canceled the move anyway https://www.seattletimes.com/business/amazon/huge-downtown-seattle-office-space-that-amazon-had-leased-is-reportedly-put-on-market/
#5yrsago Bad security design made it easy to spy on video from Ring doorbells and insert fake video into their feeds https://web.archive.org/web/20190411195308/https://dojo.bullguard.com/dojo-by-bullguard/blog/ring/
#5yrsago London’s awful estate agents are cratering, warning of a “prolonged downturn” in the housing market https://www.bbc.com/news/business-47389160
#5yrsago Yet another study shows that the most effective “anti-piracy” strategy is good products at a fair price https://www.vice.com/en/article/3kg7pv/studies-keep-showing-that-the-best-way-to-stop-piracy-is-to-offer-cheaper-better-alternatives
#5yrsago EFF’s roadmap for a 21st Century antitrust doctrine https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/02/antitrust-enforcement-needs-evolve-21st-century
#1yrago VW wouldn't help find kidnapped child because his mother wasn't paying for find-my-car subscription https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/28/kinderwagen/#worst-timeline
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waitmyturtles · 1 year
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A post-Only Friends Old GMMTV Challenge update! Let's do it this:
1) Tomorrow, I unleash a long review of Love of Siam, a seminal film from 2007 that has long had artistic influence on the Thai television BL genre. I only wish I had watched this film chronologically from the start, because I think it's clear that it's had a ton of impact on Thai BLs since the genre was born. It's a tough film, but well worth watching, and I got very nerdy about it. Many thanks to the dear friend @bengiyo for reading my post in advance and for recommending the film as a must-watch for the project. Despite its toughness -- it was fantastically done.
2) Later this week, I'll post a review of a very. different. kind of movie. in 2014's My Bromance, which I took on to learn more about yaoi tropes in Thai queer media, and to see Fluke Teerapat and Fluke Natouch in pre-BL roles. Woof.
3) Last week, I DEVOURED Tee Bundit's Lovely Writer -- Y'AAAALLLLLLLLL! I'm just like! If you read around here regularly, you KNOW how pissed off I was about Step By Step, and I hadn't even seen Lovely Writer yet, which now explains to me why a lot of folks stuck around with SBS. I'm just like. HOW did the SAME FILMMAKER make TharnType, AND Lovely Writer, AND SBS? I have no clue. But Lovely Writer was SHARP, LAYERED, SMART as hell, managing MANY THEMES with artistic fluency. The special episode was also well worth watching -- and that was at the usually-expected Tee Bundit length of nearly two hours! When I get to reviewing LW, I will focus heavily on the show itself, but I'm just like, WOW, Tee, my dude, whoa. What's going on there.
4) I have a few reviews in the queue coming up over the next few weeks: Manner of Death, A Tale of Thousand Stars rewatch, and Lovely Writer. I've pressed pause on the OGMMTVC for one hot second to CONSUME Jojo Tichakorn's The Warp Effect as prep for Only Friends, and fuck, am I glad I did -- I will throw out a review of TWE in the midst of all of this.
5) And finally! Whoa, whoa! Last Twilight in Phuket and I Promised You The Moon is on deck for my viewing pleasure this week. Teh's looking at Only Friends, being like -- crazy game meets crazy game, playas! See y'all tomorrow with a Love of Siam review in hand!
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stinkybreath · 10 months
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I’m proud of how this turned out so I’m crossposting from fb but I respect you so I’m putting it under the cut. Here’s 5 of the absolute worst bullshit I put myself through consuming in 2023 in my lifelong pursuit of cultural literacy. Individual explanations underneath each for those who are interested in me being a hater 🫶
I have tried really hard to develop my critical perspective this year so I do have actual thoughts about these but I did me best to make them entertaining as well.
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The Stand - This year I embarked on an effort to read more Stephen King because I really like the Ranged Touch guys and I wanted to better engage with their show Just King Things. I read Carrie first (more on that in another post), which really set me up for such monumental disappointment when it came to this fucking book. Jesus Christ. I have scarcely read a better selling or more beloved work of popular fiction, and I have also separately scarcely read a more offensive and poorly constructed work of popular fiction. I don’t even know how to begin addressing the headache it gave me, but I was pissed off almost the entire time I read it. Caveat here that, like everyone else, I did love the “no great loss” section both on its own merits and as a cute little Vonnegut nod.
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Goodnight Beautiful - I read a lot of shitty thrillers because they get miscategorized as horror very commonly- and while I don’t think genre boundaries are hard and fast I do think that these are very distinct groups- but they’re almost as satisfying so I guess I’ll take it while I’m here. But my lord. This is one of the shittiest shitty thrillers I’ve ever managed to make myself finish. I have brain problems that make it difficult for me to distinguish between characters when there’s a lot of action or time weirdness or whatever whatever, but based on reviews that I trust, it was so poorly done that even normal people couldn’t follow what was happening until the author took the reader by the hand and shoveled the answers directly into their mouth.
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Stolen Tongues - for YEARS I’ve been hearing people rave about how unique and effective and just good this book is. My experience, however…
1)author can’t turn a phrase to save their life *vine boom*
2) this has such an extended ‘nlog breasting boobily’ description of the girlfriend that I think I literally gagged *vine boom*
3) racist. *vine boom vine boom vine boom*
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No One Is Talking About This - one of my biggest pet peeves is the way most people (authors, journalists, thought leaders, your parents, congresspeople) talk about the internet. It is broad, with both the lack of specificity and the extremity that implies. The way someone talks about the internet can tell you so much about their perspective that they must not know how revealing it is or they’d be more embarrassed about how they sound (again, more on this in another post). This book is a great example- it’s inauthentic to the core. There are some readers who clearly interpreted this as funny glibness but the particular way Lockwood takes internet haterism ad absurdum lets me know she’s never had one single internet argument with someone. It pissed me off so royally that I nearly sent this author an email except I’m not convinced she understands how to open those.
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The Vile Thing We Created - the only book on this list that I did not finish and yet felt qualified to speak on anyway. Suckered again by booktok! There was sufficient hype for this book that I let myself get excited, I even spent a few of my actual dollars to get the ebook for convenience. I am really enthusiastic about engaging with themes of the horror of parenthood, good or bad, because I find them an interesting reflection of social ideas about parents. However. Let me just excerpt some of this dreck so you can feel the full force of the normie milennial local cringe that is baked in to every sentence:
Lola was elbow-deep in her fifteenth batch of macaron batter for that week. Spring orders were in full swing, as were an ocean of orders for baby shower treats. It never failed. She never refused the business. Quite the opposite. Macarons meant time. Time meant money. She easily brought in an extra twelve-hundred dollars a week during baby shower season. Music floated into the kitchen from the living room record player. Depending on her mood, Lola’s extensive vinyl collection met her every need. While baking, she usually threw on some David Bowie, Foreigner, something along those dramatically-opposite lines. Today, Louis Armstrong’s “A Lot of Livin’ to Do” danced in the air, trumpet notes accompanying Lola’s bopping around the kitchen.
……….yeah. You can see why I ragequit at 15%. It’s also really fucking weird about the dialogue of the black characters.
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admyainfotech13 · 2 days
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Why Online Reputation Management is Critical for Brands in 2024
In the ever-evolving digital landscape, a brand’s reputation is one of its most valuable assets. Whether you are a small business or a multinational corporation, your online reputation directly influences your customer base and revenue. With the increasing reliance on the internet for reviews, information, and decision-making, safeguarding your online presence has never been more important. This is where Online Reputation Management (ORM) comes into play.
The Importance of ORM
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The online world is unpredictable. A single bad review, misleading article, or defamatory post can negatively impact your business. Today’s consumers rely heavily on what they see online before making purchasing decisions. If potential clients see negative reviews or unflattering content about your company, they may opt for your competitor. By working with an experienced Online Reputation Consultant, businesses can be proactive in addressing harmful content before it damages their brand image.
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At admya.net, we offer specialized services that include Suppress Negative Search Results and Remove Pissed Consumer Pages. By employing these strategies, we make sure that defamatory content gets buried under more favorable and relevant content.
Managing Your Social Media Reputation
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In today’s fast-paced digital age, social media platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter have the power to shape a company’s image. A well-managed social media presence can be a great asset, but a single negative post can spiral into a PR crisis. Social Media Reputation Management ensures that your brand maintains a positive image across all platforms. At admya.net, our Social Media Reputation Monitoring service helps you identify and respond to negative comments or harmful reviews before they go viral. By acting swiftly, we can help prevent minor issues from becoming major reputational crises.
The Role of Autocomplete Suggestions
Another aspect often overlooked is search engine autocomplete predictions. When someone types in your company name, autocomplete suggestions can impact how they perceive your brand. If negative terms like "scam" or "complaints" are associated with your business in the autocomplete results, it can deter potential customers from choosing your services. Our Google Autocomplete Removal and Autocomplete Suggestion Removals services are designed to eliminate harmful suggestions, so your brand is only associated with positive terms.
Conclusion
Your brand’s reputation is its most valuable currency in the digital marketplace. In 2024, safeguarding that reputation requires constant vigilance and proactive management. Partnering with a trusted Brand Management Solution Company like admya.net ensures that you have the tools and expertise to not only protect your online presence but also enhance it. From Removing Negative Content to managing your Social Media Reputation, we are here to help you succeed in a competitive online world.
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admyainfotech1 · 2 months
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Boost Your Brand: Effective Online Reputation Management with Admya
Maintaining a positive online presence is more crucial than ever in today's digital age. Your brand’s online reputation can significantly impact consumer trust, sales, and overall business success. Admya Infotech offers a comprehensive suite of services designed to help you manage and enhance your online reputation effectively. Let's explore how our expertise in Online Reputation Management (ORM) can boost your brand.
Online Reputation Management
We specialize in Online Reputation Management (ORM), ensuring that your brand is represented positively across the internet. ORM involves monitoring, identifying, and influencing the digital reputation of your brand. Our team uses advanced strategies to manage and repair your online image, making sure potential customers see your best side. Our approach is comprehensive, covering everything from SEO to crisis management, ensuring all aspects of your online presence are optimized and protected.
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Remove Negative Content
Negative content can harm your brand's reputation and drive potential customers away. We excel in removing or suppressing negative content that appears on search engines and other online platforms. Our proven methods ensure that harmful content is minimized, allowing your brand to maintain a clean and professional online image. This involves a combination of legal takedowns, SEO techniques, and creating positive content to push down the negative results in search engine rankings.
Social Media Reputation
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Managing Online Reviews
Online reviews can make or break your business. We offer comprehensive services for Managing Online Reviews, helping you to solicit positive reviews, address negative feedback, and maintain a balanced and trustworthy online review profile. This proactive approach not only improves your online reputation but also builds trust with potential customers. We use advanced tools to monitor reviews across various platforms and provide detailed analytics to help you understand and improve your customer satisfaction.
Autocomplete Removals
Negative autocomplete suggestions can damage your brand’s image by associating your name with unfavorable terms. Our Autocomplete Removals service tackles this issue by removing unwanted autocomplete suggestions from search engines like Google. This ensures that when users search for your brand, they are met with positive and relevant suggestions. This service is crucial in shaping first impressions and preventing potential customers from seeing negative associations with your brand.
Pissed Consumer Removal
Platforms like Pissed Consumer can often host negative reviews that are harmful to your brand. Our Pissed Consumer Removal services are designed to manage and remove defamatory content from such platforms, ensuring your brand is not unfairly tarnished by negative feedback. We work diligently to address and resolve these issues, helping to restore your brand's reputation and trustworthiness.
Digital Marketing
Digital marketing is essential for building and maintaining a strong online presence. We offer a range of Digital Marketing services, including SEO, content marketing, and social media marketing. Our strategies are tailored to your business goals, helping you to reach a wider audience and achieve better engagement. We use the latest digital marketing techniques to ensure your brand stays ahead of the competition and reaches its full potential.
ORM Services
Our ORM Services encompass a wide range of activities aimed at improving and protecting your online reputation. From content creation to crisis management, our holistic approach ensures that all aspects of your digital presence are covered, providing a strong foundation for your brand's online success. We offer personalized strategies to meet the unique needs of each client, ensuring that your brand receives the attention and care it deserves.
SEO
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Conclusion
In a world where your online reputation can significantly impact your business success, having a reliable partner like Admya Infotech is invaluable. Our comprehensive range of services, from Online Reputation Management to Digital Marketing and SEO, ensures that your brand not only survives but thrives in the digital landscape. Boost your brand with us and experience the difference that expert reputation management can make.For more information on how we can help you, visit Admya.net.
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alittlebirb · 2 years
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Some good quotes/moments from the MCC 21 Lime Llamas!
"Here's a hamburger for your efforts to fix yourself." -Scar
"I hope you have a saddle Pete, because we're all going to be riding your llama train." -Scar
"Oh, I'm such a sausage!" -Timmy
"I KEEP NEO-ING BECAUSE I CAN'T PROCESS FAST ENOUGH" -Pete, dealing with his problems through game breaking parkour
"That's going on the vod review, see how Grian does this great jump?" -Grian
"I'm going back to barn for this one guys!" -Scar
"I hope you guys did your homework! (Grian)
Yeah! What was the homework again? (Jimmy)
Yeah, what was the homework again? (Scar)"
"You know what, I want you to be my manager." -Scar to Grian
"Just so you know, we're not friends in the mart, we're friends outside the mart."
Buildmart Grian is not your friend. Buildmart Grian is here to win." -Grian
"I can be the guy!" -TJ
"I'm the kid who's always looking over the shoulder checking the answers." -Tim
"The dogs never stay in the same place, they're always moving homes." -Jimjam
"Channel your inner Tom Cruise!" -Scar
"You're having a great time, Tim." -Grian (threateningly)
-Scar repeatedly asking if the others have seen top gun and getting disappointed by their answers
"I'll just be in the barn over here!"
"Scar, you gotta know man, you're old." -Grian
"Antfrost tried to murder me! I always enjoyed the kitty skin!" -Scar
"I don't even have my aviators on. I mean, you guys wouldn't know since you don't watch good movies." -Scar
"Let's go Pete, be a dolphin!" -Grian
"I love that map! I'm going to sleep happy tonight!" -Pete
"Can i just go on a small Disney rant? If you will indulge" *proceeds to go on a Tokyo Disney rant* -Scar
"I mean I do have a chair with wheels, I can carry all of you on it." -Scar
"You're our little champion llama!" -Scar
"We gotta move with a bit more gumption." -Grian
-Grian goes on a build mart rant
"Please stop calling it a dong." -Grian
-Scar refusing to participate in the sand daddy tradition, then getting roasted for an accidental sand daddy
"I just got Indiana Jones'd." -Scar
"That's a you problem, Tim." -Grian after Jimmy says he's in 40th
"I got to piss off the other contestants, and I didn't even get screamed at for it.  Big W." -Pete
"We should stage a protest. Go on strike, a parkour tag strike." -Grian
"Tim, after every game we played, you said 'this just isn't my game'." -Grian
"If it doesn't last 10 minutes, what's the point of dodgebolt? If you haven't had several panic attacks, and sweated out a liter of water, then what's the point?" -Grian
"Zeuz deserves it." -Grian :)
-PETE MAKING A HILARIOUS TOP GUN AND SCAR JOKE WITHOUT REALIZING IT
-Grian talking about how Jimmy put him down on the mcc sign ups, and him putting down 'Not Tim'
"I was building a massive tree that consumed my life."
Why would I have defiled my tree with that Grian? You know it's my least favorite block in the game." -Scar
"I need a book on how to keep small talk going." -Grian
"I also appreciate the grain train, like I looked in the chart and saw just an immense amount of bread, which you know I appreciate." -Wheat
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broiunno · 3 years
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License to Steal - Act IV
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License to Steal
ACT IV
Act I // Act II // Act III // Act IV
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summary: Min Yoongi is your new protection detail upon your return to your father's side after being sent away during a bloody gang war. Now the dust has settled, you've been called back to your old controlled life, and leaving you an unwilling participant in your family's plans. You don't know what they are but you are no longer willing to be the obedient, protected daughter. You don't really care in the least of it makes Yoongi's new assignment hell on earth- So you'll carve your own life out back home on your own terms.
-rating: 18+
-pairing: min yoongi x reader
-word count: 5.8k
-warnings: swearing, gang activities includes drug mention and eventual drug use, the slowest of burns, organized crime, toxic af family dynamics, BEWARE IN THIS ACT: graphic family abuse (father initiated verbal and physical assault- does not fade to black), violence, blood, graphic descriptions of torture, and graphic sex scenes will be included in this work.
-authors note: @chelsea-chee leading the au as usual. I love her the appreciate her as my love, writer, and my beta. Her works are *chefs kiss* Thank you again beautiful <3 PLEASE NOTE: I AM REALLY NOT EXCITED TO POST THE NEXT FEW ACTS. They deal with heavy subject matter and I don't fade to black at any point so please note my works are for mature audiences, warnings are there for a reason and in bold. You are an adult if you are reading this work (per the warnings) and you are responsible for the content you consume. Thank you. ILY all and I love asks about the characters. And that's all I have to say about that...I'm sorry for the wait. I've had covid. I'm back on a better schedule now.
-----------------------------------------------
You fumbled with your hair as you tried to rip your fingers through the still damp strands to assemble it back into a semi-presentable pony tail as the door slid open to your father’s office. You really did wish that you had been able to go upstairs and shower. Or at least change your clothes from the workout gear you currently felt sticking to your skin from the cooling sweat. As a breeze drifted from the vent as the air kicked on, you shivered violently, shaking your head and shooting a hateful stare in Yoongi’s direction as you stepped into the office. Appearances were everything in your family. They were the first level of protection to ensure threats stayed at a minimum. A show of strength and cohesiveness discouraged any hair-brained ideas from a weaker or less organized opposition.
Your father raised a dark, thick brow, turning from the man was speaking quietly to, his expression unreadable as you inclined your head slightly in greeting. “You asked to see me?” you said quietly, keeping your eyes downcast. Since Yoongi had mentioned your father was summoning you, you knew it couldn’t be anything positive. This soon after your arrival? Nothing good would come of this. You had just grabbed onto the distraction of Yoongi until you both stood in the office, feeling stripped bare, awaiting whatever admonishment was about to be delivered.
“You couldn’t make it a full forty-eight hours without causing me a migraine,” your father said sharply and you kept your eyes trained on the floor, as you replayed yesterday in your mind.
“Father, I don’t know what you-”
“Y/N, you weren’t even back a day and you spent how much?” he said, aggravation lacing his tone. “I had to call in Kim to look at your accounts immediately. You’re a fucking hassle.” He huffed and your eyes finally lifted to the stranger that stood next to your father, noting that he stepped away from your father and bowed quickly.
“Nice to meet you, miss. I’m Kim Namjoon. I’ve been handling your accounts and will continue to do so.” You felt your lips part in a soft ‘oh’ as you studied the broad planes of his face, full lips and intense eyes. You felt like he was picking you apart in that moment as you took your time to absorb his ash blond hair in a relaxed, but carefully crafted style. His skin tone was golden; a contrast to Yoongi’s milk-like skin. He glowed, and you couldn’t tell if it from his melanin or the fact that he was radiating intelligence.
“N-Nice to meet you too,” you stammered and managed to close your mouth as he pushed up the rolled sleeves of his white button-down shirt. You swallowed hard and tried to claw through the mental fog that had overcome you. With the teasing from both Jungkook and Yoongi, being presented with another god-like man was the last thing you needed. “I will admit I’m a little confused; my spending was never a problem when I was away? I mean, it’s not like I bought a car.”
Your father barked a laugh and threw up his hands. “You have no grasp on what I do to make this money that you just piss away Y/N! And you COULD have bought a car with the amount you spent yesterday! Like I said: a god damn burden!” he hissed and you flushed slightly, taking a step back unconsciously as you watched his neck flush. Yoongi hadn’t said a word, but you knew you could still sense his dark presence in the corner of the room, not looking at him to notice his eyes narrowed slightly as the scene unfolded.
“Y/N, I’ve had an idea. You’re a daughter. I can’t do much with you. Your brother who I could actually have used is dead. Your mother-” He stopped as he watched your eyes bulge and he shook his head. “I can’t have more children. I’d consider it disrespectful to her memory,” he mused, a hand running along his chin and you couldn’t help the scoff that escaped you, but your jaw snapped shut audibly as your teeth clacked together after the noise passed your lips.
Your father’s eyes flared to life in challenge and he glanced at Namjoon, lip curling. “Did you calculate her estimated cost of living and monthly expenditures? Do you have solid numbers?” he said shortly and Namjoon just nodded, eyes flicking between the family members silently. “And did you adjust for a profit at the margin we discussed?”
“Yes sir,” came the deep steady voice, Namjoon’s eyes traveling your figure, his gaze not heavy with lust or desire, but full of curiosity. “The monthly amount that you should request for that profit is in the proposal if you would like to review it.” He finished and cleared his throat. “I can return if you want me to look over the contract,” he said softly, clearing fishing for a dismissal and your father granted it, offering his hand and you felt your mouth tighten in confusion.
“What contract?”
Namjoon grabbed a briefcase and inclined his head to you stiffly in farewell before his long legs carried him out the doorway. Your father’s gaze didn’t leave your eyes as he spoke. “Yoongi, see him out.” Yoongi nodded and started after the tall man in silence, not sparing you a second glance on his way out.
“I asked you what contract?” you said softly, struggling to keep your voice even as your father stepped closer to you.
“Well, you went out. Spent a lot of money that you’ve done nothing to earn, and caught someone’s eye in the process. Someone worth a lot of money and who would be an asset to have closer to the family at this point in his career.” Your father clasped his hands behind his back as he continued to close the distance between you, each step he made, you felt your heart plummet further.
“Father… what exactly are you implying?”
“I’m not implying anything, Y/N. I’m telling you. Someone’s made a bid for your hand, and it’s the only thing you’ll be good for at this point. The shopping sprees, your lifestyle. I can maintain them, but if someone else is willing to do so, and the marriage benefits me in my business, I’d be stupid not to pursue it. Do you think I’m stupid, Y/N?” he said, voice getting dangerously quiet as he reached out to tuck a piece of hair that had escaped the rapidly put-up ponytail behind your ear.
“You can’t sell me off like fucking cattle!-” you said, flinching away from his touch, and his large, calloused hand shot out to grab your chin tightly. He forced your face back towards his as you tried to jerk away, squeezing hard enough to make your eyes begin to water. Your heart thudded out a dangerous irregular rhythm as you breathed hard through your nose.
“I can’t? Y/N, you seem to be under the delusion that you are free from the responsibilities that come with being in this family. I suppose that may be my fault. I was too soft on you, pitied the losses I caused you to have. I always had your brother anyway; there was no harm in indulging you. But now, you’re the only one with my blood in your veins. You’re home to do a service for this family. Everyone else has given their lives in some way. Did you think you were special?” His words were measured and cold as he studied you, grip not loosening on your face. You would be bruised tomorrow as you felt the throb set in from the pressure he was applying.
“You may order me to do it, but I don’t have to go along with this,” you hissed, barely able to open your jaw, but clenching your teeth to get your words out, rage licking up and down your body. He had taken your entire life as a child, as an adolescent. Did he really think giving you a few years of freedom put you back in his debt so far that you owed him the rest of your life?!
No sooner than the words were out of your mouth you heard the sharp crack, and felt yourself stumbling backwards into the wall. You blinked quickly as you registered the pain in your head, immediately starting to pound as the metallic taste of blood filled your mouth. You barely had time to regain a semblance of your bearings before your father was upon you again, face chillingly blank as his ringed fingers gripped the base of your ponytail, ripping your head back at an awkward angle, a scream breaching your bloody lips. The noise was cut short by another blow, snapping your head to the side before he jerked your face back to center.
“Who do you think you are, you little bitch?” he said with a lilt to his tone as you choked out a sob, unable to keep it from escaping your lips. “You really thought you weren’t going to do shit to replace that money you spent?” When he finished speaking he gave your head a violent shake, as if to scramble your thoughts further. It was completely unnecessary, as your head felt as if it was splitting with the pain he had rocked through you with his blows and harsh grip. You felt the start of a purely hysterical giggle break through, spitting out the fresh rush of blood that ran in your mouth due to the cuts in your cheek from your teeth. You noticed a piece of the skin from inside your mouth flapping loosely that made you nauseated if you dwelled on it.
The laugh was probably the worst response you could have had.
You heard a soft hiss, and your father stepped into your space further, hands darting from your head to wrap themselves around your throat and squeezing. As your hands scrambled to scratch at his hand, his arm, his face, anything, you wished you were surprised at this. You wished you were hurt because you were shocked, but you weren’t. There was blood in the water and he was a shark. He built his life this way.
“You don’t have to go along with this…” he said softly, voice void of emotion, “but you also don’t have to keep living here either. How long will you make it without this family? You’d never make it out of the city.” He mused and continued to squeeze, your vision starting to spot as you tried to draw in any bit of air within the hold he had, the choking heaves under the weight of him making the blood that had pooled in your mouth from his blows spill over your chin grotesquely as it began to stream onto his hand. “So will you behave for once in your fucking life?”
You were hyper aware of the tears streaming down your face as you managed the smallest of nods. You supposed he was right; you had never imagined you would be used in the family in any way. Your entire life had been lonely, and even though you hated it, you had resigned yourself to it. His hands unwrapped themselves from your neck, letting you inhale a burning gasp of air as you slid down the wall, and onto the floor. You coughed and rocked forward onto all fours as the shaking of your body didn’t allow for much more than consciousness.
Your father pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped the crimson of your blood off his hand before tossing it to you on the floor. You could barely recognize the quick but unhurried footsteps coming back down the hallway to the office before they stopped short.
“Yoongi, take her upstairs.”
==
The flush from hustling back to his boss’s office drained from Yoongi’s face as his eyes widened at your figure hunched forward onto your elbows on the floor. He watched you hack as your body tried to clear your airway. Yoongi stayed silent as he reached down, crouching next to you and attempting to offer you a hand so you could stand on your own, for which you were thankful. You felt the physical pain, but no emotions as your mind sluggishly screamed at you to just accept his hand and stand. You needed to walk out of here on your own. You knew you wouldn’t make it all the way to your room after the assault, but you didn’t need to. Just to the elevator.
You reached out your hand, shaking hard, as you clasped at his large palm and hoisted yourself up, letting him pull lightly as he stood with you, noting that he was still silent. You tried to ignore how your vision swam before you, willing your knees not to buckle. You couldn’t pinpoint if the unsteadiness was from the blows to your face, the lack of oxygen, or the tears that had thankfully stopped streaming down your face but still filled your eyes.
Yoongi seemed to read your mind, shifting his grip from your hand to your upper arm, nestling in your underarm and gently steered you to the door, but let you support most of your weight on the way out. You walked in silence as he didn’t rush you down the hallway, both of your eyes trained on the lift door as he typed in the code. As you waited for the door to open you felt your shaking legs betray you and start to bend. You glanced away from him, the movement of your eyes causing a piercing pain to shoot through your head. “Please,” was all you rasped wetly as you put more weight and started to sink, but the pressure holding you up immediately doubled, Yoongi’s support forcing you upright, even if it made your shoulder raise. It would be almost imperceptible from your father’s office if he was still looking in your direction, but you doubted he would. He had already received your submission; he didn’t need you for anything else.
Yoongi didn’t seem to want to take the chance that he was still watching, stepping into the elevator and continuing to only hold you in one place. His grip was still disguised as if he was walking you out in the same way he may escort an associate who was no longer welcome - in such a manner that would deter any further escalation. No one would be able to tell he was the only thing keeping you upright.
As the door slid shut to the elevator the facade crumbled, you lurching forward and gasping out a sob of pain, tilting your head down to let the blood that had been collecting in your mouth pour out onto the floor. You forgot how much mouth wounds bled. Yoongi was not bothered with the grotesque display as he swiftly adjusted his grip to wrap around your shoulders, his other arm sweeping at your feet as he lifted you with apparent ease. You shut your eyes as the tears began to flow once more, unable to restrain the moans and whimpers of pain that escaped between gasps as you cried. He still hadn’t said a word, even as you turned your face into his suit jacket, inhaling jaggedly as you tried to focus on the scent permeating from him, trying to place it through your snot-filled nose. The only thing you could recognize was the warm, woodsy scent of patchouli as you reached a shaking hand up to hold onto his jacket tightly. You knew he wouldn’t drop you, but it grounded you all the same.
You tried to slow your breathing, but failed as the elevator door opened and Yoongi strode quickly to your bedroom door, bending at the knees and somehow using his crook of his elbow and his body to turn the door knob, the only change in your positioning being that you tilted slightly as he spun it. He kicked the door with his foot gently as he stepped in, by-passing your bed as he carried you into your bathroom, carefully getting on his knees as he lowered you into your large bathtub as he placed you there. You continued to breath quickly, your gasps becoming sharper as your gentle shaking soon became uncontrollable. You released his jacket as he stood and you pulled your knees to your chest, shutting your eyes finally as you heard the tap briefly run before a cool rag brushed your chin, eyes flying open as you flinched away.
“Shh, I need to see your face. I have to get the blood off,” Yoongi whispered, and you finally looked at him, noting his face was still paler than normal. “Princess, I need you to take a slow, deep breath okay? Can you do that? Your lips are turning blue; you’re hyperventilating. You’re safe,” he murmured, brows pinching together in a pained expression you had never seen on his face as you tried to nod, attempting to take a long breath in but ended up gulping in air multiple times on the way, the blurring of your vision worsening as Yoongi grimaced, your breathing speeding up again, your shoulders shrugging with the effort to take in air. The last thing you heard was Yoongi’s tense exclamation of “Shit!” before you blacked out.
==
When you awoke, you were under the covers of your large bed. You sat up quickly before groaning from the ache in your head, then realizing that opening your mouth made you want to scream from pain. Between the squeeze on your jaw and the cuts inside your mouth, it was safe to say you would be saying very little for a while. You glanced towards the window, noting it was inky black outside.
“How long has he hit you?” came a cool voice from beside your bedside and you turned to face the source, seeing a figure standing beside the small table, casting a shadow with the aid of a lamp. Had he even left? Yoongi had shed his stained suit jacket, but still wore the white shirt and same suit pants. You only knew it was the same shirt due to the blood stain from where your mouth must have painted him. Instead of attempting to speak, you shrugged in an attempt to get his gaze off of you. It was piercing and unnerving. You felt as if this was the beginning of an interrogation, and you didn’t fail to notice the color had still not returned to his normally pale face. Now that your mind was a bit clearer you were able to recognize why it registered so deeply with you. He was the embodiment of white with fury. “How. Long?” he said again with such harshness you swallowed hard, ignoring the fire that licked down your throat as you did so.
“That’s a joke right? He’s always been like that. I just normally am better at avoiding it,” you forced out; your words were almost incoherent as you tried to move your jaw as little as possible as you spoke. That was bearable. Good. Not that you had expected it to be, but at least your jaw wasn’t broken; that would have been a pain in the ass. “What time is it?”
“It’s three am,” Yoongi hissed as his eyes glimmered in the near darkness, pushing off the wall and grabbing a glass of water off the table and sweeping a few pills into his hand. “Take these.” You took his offering and a small sip of the water before carefully throwing the pills to the back of your throat and washing them down, sighing softly. “They’re pain pills. They’ll help and you’ll be able to go back to sleep in a bit.”
You didn’t answer but pulled back the cover of your bed and slid out, noting that your bloody shirt had been changed but you still had on your sports bra and leggings. And your ponytail had been taken down, which was probably a good thing since your scalp was still aching from the hold your father had you in.
“Y/N… don’t.” Came Yoongi’s voice, still unemotional but a bit gentler than his earlier tone. You didn’t turn back to him but stopped your path to your vanity, obviously trying to look at your reflection in the mirror to assess the damage.
“Is it that bad?” you grumbled, turning to him and you watched him shrug.
“It’s not good. Don’t worry about it tonight. No bones are broken from what I can tell. I wiped you down the best I could. Just change once I leave and get back into bed.”
You let out a deep breath but finally stepped towards your closet instead to grab an oversized t-shirt. You could work the bra off under it and slip your pants off once you had it on. “Why did you even stay?” you said softly as you set to work, your muscles aching as you attempted to change modestly. You don’t know why it even mattered, but in this moment it did.
“I needed to know if he had done this before. I needed to know if this was the first time. When we were kids, you weren’t around all the time. Sometimes, I’d go months without seeing you. I didn’t know if this was a part of it,” he spat out, visibly tensing as he took a loud steadying breath.
You shrugged as you pulled off your leggings, successful in stripping your bra off under the shirt, and padded back to your bed. “There were a few reasons he kept me separated from everyone. It wasn’t all because he thought I was too precious to see any of this.” You climbed back into bed and tried to settle back into the plushness. Yoongi took a step closer to you, his mouth slightly open as he watched you try to get comfortable, seemingly unable to stop himself.
“Y/N…” he said softly and reached a hand towards you and you stiffened, eyes narrowing, and he took note, dropping his hand slowly.
“Yoongi, I never asked for your fucking pity.”
“I know, and it makes me want to help you even more.”
You blinked and tried to register what he was implying. “Help me?” you repeated, shaking your head as you felt the same hysterical laugh bubble up that had made your assault that much worse in your father’s office. “No one can help me!” You laughed, eyes widening as the smile twisted your features. “This is my life, this is what I was born into. This is what all those shiny things cost, Yoongi! I always knew it but I forgot.” You watched as the pained expression from earlier slid back over his features, and you raised your eyebrows in response. “I appreciate it, but unless you’re willing to put a bullet in my fucking head there’s no saving anything.”
“Who says it has to be your head, Princess?” he said gently and you swear you felt the world stop.
“Don’t say shit like that Min,” you hissed, baring your teeth and shaking your head. “Even if we don’t always get along, I don’t want you dead too.”
“Whatever you say Princess,” he said, a smile tugging at his lips as he cocked his head to the side. “Are you alright to sleep? You don’t feel like you’re going to vomit?” he asked seriously, watching as you shook your head.
“I don’t have a concussion,” you grumbled but as you watched him smirk and go to grab his jacket you felt your heart speed up. “Yoongi- w-wait.” He immediately stopped, as if he was anticipating your words. “Can you stay here the rest of the night? I know he won’t do anything but I-”
“Let me go change my clothes. Is that okay Princess?”
“Yeah… I just don’t want to be-”
“It’s fine Y/N. I’ll be right back.” You stayed sitting up, watching him as he dismissed your attempts at explanations and justification as he walked out.
You sighed, leaning against the leather headboard and let your breathing even out, even as your heart still raced. The pain began to slowly ebb as the medication took effect; what had you even taken? It had to be something strong as a comfortable fog began to cloud your thoughts.
You didn’t know why you felt the need to have him here. Did you even need to explain? He was technically your bodyguard. You had known each other most of your lives. You had just suffered through an assault; staying with you was reasonable. Even if the assailant wasn’t unknown, nor were the motives. At the end of the day, Yoongi’s presence made breathing a bit easier. His presence made you feel safe.
The door opened again and you sucked in a breath as Yoongi re-entered your bedroom, one hand carrying his gun and holster, the other a hanger with a clean pressed suit. “I’ll wake up before you,” was all he said in response to your surprised expression as he studied you. He mistook the shock on your face as being accredited to the suit. He was an idiot if he thought you cared about the fact he would dress here. You were too busy drinking in the sight of his lean figure in low-slung grey sweatpants. You tried to rip your gaze back to his face but you got caught on the black ribbed tank top and the swirling black tattoos covering his shoulder and chest before disappearing under the material.
“I didn’t know you had tattoos,” you choked out, feeling your face flush and mentally slapping yourself. He may look like sex on legs, but you looked like you just had the shit beat out of you. Which to be fair to yourself, you actually just had the shit beat out of you.
“Oh, I forgot,” he said, a small smirk tilting his lip up but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. He draped his suit over the chair to your vanity and carried his gun with him towards the plush armchair in the corner of the room.
“The bed is big enough Min. I won’t touch you,” you said breathlessly, trying to force away the blush that was deepening across your face. He seemed to freeze and take a few steadying breaths.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea Princess.” His voice was controlled but quiet.
“Please Yoongi…” you said just as quietly. “It’s just for tonight. I won’t feel safe if you’re all the way over there.”
It was definitely an over exaggeration. You hadn’t really expected him to even agree to stay in your room with you. The chair was the reasonable option. You knew you were pushing it.
“Princess, I-” He breathed, the airiness of his tone making your belly somersault and it gave you a tiny shiver.
“Yoongi, please. I need you next to me. Just tonight.” You shouldn’t be so worried about getting this man into bed with you, but now that he was here in front of you and it was so close to happening, you felt you might cry if he denied you.
You watched his back muscles rippled as he tensed and tried to relax. He turned wordlessly and walked to the opposite side of the bed, setting his holster down and climbing into the king-sized bed with you. “Go to sleep Princess.”
The drugs had to be prescriptions, not that you really expected a member of an organized crime family to just take a regular aspirin when they were in pain. “Is the oxy working yet? It should start soon if it hasn’t.” You hummed your assent as you squirmed down into the bed and tried to keep the smile from your face as you reached over and turned out the lamp. You took a deep breath and shut your eyes, savoring the heat that quickly built from having two bodies under the covers of your bed, ignoring the slightly annoyed sigh from the other side of the bed.
“Be quiet Min, I’m trying to rest,” you said softly and a soft dry chuckle cut through the silence as you let sleep take you.
==
Yoongi’s POV
Yoongi listened to the soft sounds of your breathing as they lengthened and deepened, the pain pills having done their job perfectly. If only he could have done his job in such a manner. He had been given a job: to keep you safe, and he took it seriously. Even if the one assigning his work was an abusive piece of shit. Yoongi let out a sigh, glancing over at your figure in the dark to make sure his huff hadn’t disturbed your slumber. It didn’t. You were still laying there, eyes closed and unaware, your face turned towards him to afford him a view of what exactly your father had done in his absence.
He felt his teeth grind against each other as even in the dark, he could make out the near black bruises covering your neck in the clear shape of hands, a bloom crossing your smooth cheek as well. Even your chin and jaw were dark from bruising; evidence that your father had held your face to force submission. It had worked. He opened his mouth and stretched his own jaw to try and stop himself from continuing to grind his molars down to nothing in rage. He didn’t know if he would ever be able to forget how you looked and how he felt when he entered the office, watching the blood drip onto the floor. How he wanted nothing more than to simply pull out his gun and lodge a bullet into your father’s knee before proceeding to swing the butt of his gun down onto him until he shattered every bone in the pig’s disgusting face.
Until he begged him to stop. Until he begged his daughter to tell Yoongi to stop.
The daydream made Yoongi smile a full gummy smile and chuckle for the first time today. He would stop when you told him to. If you told him to. Now that he knew your father had put his hands on you before this, he wondered if you would just let him continue until his mania at seeing what had been done to you was sated. He knew it wouldn’t be until he heard your father’s death rattle, knowing it had been at his own hands.
You stirred slightly to readjust in your sleep, drawing his attention back to the present as you moved closer to him in the bed and he sucked in a breath. Even beaten and bruised you affected him. Even carrying you in that elevator down the hall as you clutched onto him. He had been spiraling down into violence but as soon as you grabbed his jacket, he knew you wouldn’t withstand even him raising his voice to anyone without shattering. You were normally so fierce and seeing you broken made him want to tear apart this entire society you both lived in, even if it was all either of you had ever known.
It was then he had decided he would be what you were asking of him with your sobs and how you clutched onto him; he would be as gentle as could be and give you whatever you needed tonight. Tomorrow he would begin the undertaking of dismantling your father piece by fucking piece.
He had watched over you after you passed out; you had woken up briefly for him to get you to take pain medicine once before you actually were able to speak to him. Before you asked him to stay with you. He wanted to pretend it didn’t make his icy heart crack, the way you tried to explain and justify his presence. He would never ask you to in this kind of situation. When Yoongi returned to his room, he attempted to steel himself for a night of sitting in that uncomfortable chair, and a sleepless day tomorrow. He had gone more than twenty-four hours without sleep before.
But when your eyes, even if they had started to become glossy and dilated from the drugs, began to run over him, he had to try and think of every unsexy thing he could fathom. You had just been fucking violated and just with one look he felt the blood travel away from his brain and pool below his waist. Why did he think he would be able to wear sweatpants while staying with you? You destroyed every semblance of self control he had. He still hadn’t forgotten your teasing in the elevator prior to this shit show.
Then your soft drowsy voice had called out to him just as he had regained his mental fortitude and continued to the chair. You would be the fucking death of him and he didn’t think he would really mind. Now, as he laid here in bed with you trying to ignore the fact that you were shifting closer to him in your sleep, seeking his warmth, he closed his eyes. He had anticipated the pure fury of tonight keeping him awake, but instead it was the fact that he could feel your breath on his neck, that if he turned his head back to you he could still make out your absolutely gorgeous feminine form from under the blankets. The dip in your waist and the curve of your hips, sloping into your soft thigh. Yoongi’s eyes shot open as he let out a soft hiss as he felt his member stiffen in his sweats, one large hand reaching down to palm himself, and he willed his hard-on to disappear.
He dropped his eyes again, confident he would get his bulge to go down without waking you, and as he tended to it, a soft small hand reached across his middle, making his forehead furrow. He tried to take a steadying breath, and tried to not imagine that the events of last night weren’t the reason he was in your bed. That you had just invited him to bed because you wanted him there, not for security but because you wanted him as a man to share your bed and body. That he could roll over to face you, slip his own hand up that oversized shirt and rub soft circles into your skin before slipping his hand down in-between your thighs.
Yoongi felt his cock twitch and himself harden further, forcing another deep breath in and out as he circled back to try and think of grotesque things to make his longing subside. You at least had stopped wriggling in the bed in an attempt to get closer; he was thankful for that. He squeezed his eyes shut tighter and tried to calm his heart and regulate his breath to make it possible for him to drift off.
This was going to be a long night.
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IOTA Reviews: Guiltrip
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So, my week has been hell. In addition to working night and day on final essays for my classes, I've been really busy at work lately, and the second COVID vaccine shot really took a lot out of me this week. And that's not even getting into the bureaucratic nonsense that comes with applying for the MTEL which is slowly making me wonder if I actually want to teach in the first place.
But, despite all that, there was a single light of hope this week that almost made it all worth it.
STAR WARS: THE BAD BATCH, BABY!
OH MY GOD, THIS SHOW IS AMAZING! I ALWAYS LOVED THE CLONE-CENTRIC EPISODES OF THE CLONE WARS, AND NOW WE GET AN ENTIRE SHOW ABOUT AN ELITE TEAM OF THEM? KICKASS! AND IT TAKES PLACE AFTER ORDER 66 WITH GRAND MOFF TARKIN AS THE MAIN VILLAIN? SWEET MOTHER OF GEORGE LUCAS, I CAN'T WAIT! I DON'T EVEN CARE THAT THEY TRADED IN THE COOL SNIPER CLONE FOR SOME LITTLE GIRL CLONE, I ALREADY WANT TO SEE MORE THAN THE TWO EPISODES WE GOT SO FAR! GOD, I LOVE THIS SHOW!
Oh yeah, there was also a new episode of Miraculous Ladybug that aired on the same day too, I guess. It was pretty good. Hell of a lot better than the past three episodes I've sat through.
Let's get into the fifth (chronologically the eleventh) episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season: Guiltrip
We start off in the middle of class where we see Marinette looking at Adrien lovingly.
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Because the writers are still trying to push the Love Square on us as if they were trying to sell us some death sticks. And yes, expect a few Star Wars jokes in this review. This episode did premiere on May 4th after all.
Rose suddenly gets a headache, and asks to go to the nurse, saying that “Miss Dora” is back. While walking there with Marinette, she explains that it's a code name she gives when her head hurts and can tell Miss Bustier without letting everyone know. She probably felt a name like “Maya Grain” would just give it away.
At lunch, Juleka gets a text that really upsets her, so Marinette tries to cheer her up. Keyword being “tries”.
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Okay, yes, this is referencing the previous scene, where Rose refers to a certain snack at the nurse's office she eats to recover her health whenever “Miss Dora” visits called “Mr. Coffee”, but it's just bad timing. I get Marinette has a habit of not reading the room, but why did she have to use the term “Miss Dora” when she knows what it's being used for? Sure, she doesn't know that Juleka knows, but did she really have to say “Miss Dora”? She couldn't have used any other name instead? It's like making a chemotherapy joke when you just found out someone close to you has cancer. Even putting the context aside, what is this joke's punchline supposed to be? That “Miss Dora” will visit Juleka if she eats her lunch? Even by the humor standards of this show, the joke fails spectacularly.
Marinette bumps into Adrien, and although she stutters a little with a little exaggerated body movement, she does manage to take things seriously so she can have an actual conversation with Adrien about Juleka, who wants to be alone. She explains that the text she got was from Rose, who was sent to the hospital because of her sickness, and the entire class finds out because Marinette texted everyone to come to check on Juleka.
Goddamn it, Marinette. I usually defend you for getting screwed over by the writing, but you really aren't on your A game today.
Juleka explains that Rose got this sickness when she was little, which naturally worried everyone else. To make things worse, Juleka also says Rose made her swear to not tell anyone about her to worry her. Everyone else swears to not let Rose know that they know, and the act of support is actually enough to drive away an Akuma targeted at Juleka.
Unfortunately, nobody ever said anything about being overly affectionate to Rose, so everyone in the class tries to do things for Rose like carry her bags, giving her a pillow to sit on in school, helping her take notes, letting her cut in line at lunch, and giving her apples.
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All of this makes Juleka remorsefully tell Rose that she told everyone else, which worries her because she hates all the special treatment, so she goes to tell them all about her illness. While they seem to accept her, the next time she sneezes, they overreact like, uh... how can I make this joke in a tasteful way?
Rose says she's had enough with all the treatment, which makes Juleka feel guilty. In the bathroom, she gets akumatized into Reflekta (yet again) with a Sentimonster named Guiltrip. And then Reflekta immediately gets sucked into the Sentimonster, which will cause it to go out of control. Nice job, Shadowmoth.
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While it might not look like much, this is easily my favorite Sentimonster by far. Granted, that's not saying much, given all we've gotten so far for Sentimonsters is bootleg Mothra, sentient candy, a robotic doll, a frog with a body count, yet another evil doppelganger, and an eye, but my point still stands. Rather than actually confront the heroes, it's basically a portal to another world where it can trap people in bubbles that represent their regrets and despair, and turn them into copies of Reflekta.
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It's a really strong metaphor which reminds me of the villains from Kamen Rider Wizard, who tried to drive their victims to despair in order to turn them into monsters. Ironically, that show's main villain is also some asshole in white who was risking countless lives just to save someone close to him. In general, the area inside of Guiltrip is visually stunning, and easily the highlight of the episode. It's just so surreal, and it really sets the tone the episode's going for.
Ladybug and Cat Noir arrive on the scene, and also get sucked into the portal, seeing some of the victims before they also start to fall into despair. And I can't believe I'm saying this, but this is one of the few times where Angstdrien Depreste is thematically appropriate. Cat Noir points out that if they had simply defeated Shadowmoth by now, none of this would be happening, which is a good point. He even attempts to kill himself using his Cataclysm, but unlike RWBY, they don't try to glorify it.
This also leads to Rose managing to fight off Guiltrip's powers with her optimistic personality (so I guess you could say she's A New Hope for the heroes), inspiring Ladybug to compliment Cat Noir. While I'd normally be pissed that this is yet another way to boost his ego, it does fit in with the episode's theme of positive thinking. Well, with the exception of one line where she points out what her time as Ladybug would be like without Cat Noir...
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BEING A SUPERHERO IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FUN. Yes, there are certain benefits to being a superhero, but it is not a fun game you play when lives are on the line. Why are the writers so dedicated to validate Cat Noir's beliefs that being a hero is just a fun extracurricular activity? Has there ever been a superhero who shares a similar mentality and isn't treated like a complete jackass?
So Ladybug and Cat Noir break free of the bubbles, and after summoning her Lucky Charm, a pickaxe, Ladybug realizes she needs more positivity to break free from Guiltrip. As such, she pulls out the Pig Miraculous and gives it to Rose, who transforms into Pigella. Funny how she forgot her little headache condition when she bangs her head like a death metal singer while transforming.
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The design is... wait, she's not wearing a skin-tight jumpsuit? She's actually wearing something different?
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Yeah, I really like the Pigella design. There's a good mix of pink and white, and the skirt really brings the whole thing together. It really reflects Rose's optimistic and bubbly personality.
So the three heroes find Reflekta, who has been consumed by tons of bubbles. Pigella uses her superpower, Gift, to show Reflekta what her heart wants the most right now. So it's basically a more specific version of the Fox Miraculous? In fact, what do pigs have to do with optimism?
Whatever reason, it works, which helps Reflekta to break free of Guiltrip's influence, letting Ladybug de-evilize her. But because we need to have a fight scene in this episode, the Reflekta clones start to attack the heroes, but Ladybug uses the pickaxe to climb out of Guiltrip and purify the Amok.
So Rose hands the Pig Miraculous back to Ladybug, and the episode ends with everyone treating Rose normally in class, realizing she isn't as delicate as she thinks she is.
So yeah, I really like this episode. Aside from a few stupid things Marinette said this episode, I honestly don't have a lot of problems with the episode here.
I also really like the lesson this episode is going for. It doesn't shame Rose for rejecting the help, and it doesn't shame the class for being to overprotective of Rose either. It tries to find a middle ground, which is an important lesson to learn, not just for dealing with a loved one who has an illness, but for disabled people and other kinds of situations where someone has a disadvantage. Even as much as I ragged on Marinette for the text, it's clear that she isn't the only one to blame. In fact, nobody really gets blamed for anything this episode. It's more of a misunderstanding, and both sides find a balance on how to treat Rose.
It's overall a really good episode, and the second best one so far this season. And you know what? This episode taught me the importance of staying positive, so with that in mind, maybe I shouldn't be dreading “Queen Banana” when it comes out this week.
Wait, what? It got pushed back two weeks? Oh, THANK GOD! Now I feel like dancing. And I know exactly what song to dance to...
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Checking Sources
I’m taking a stab at the trope I’ve seen all over the place recently. But with a different twist. Oneshot - might continue if I get the desire.
“Ladybug?”
Paris’ spotted heroine jumped slightly after being pulled from her thoughts. She’d been staring out over the city’s glittering lights, lost to the maelstrom of voices and recalled memories swarming her mind with a thoughtful (at least she hoped it was) frown on her lips. So much so, that she hadn’t noticed when her leather-clad partner had shown up to sit next to her on a night he was supposed to be taking off.
When the hell had he gotten there? She wondered, looking around quickly for any indication of how long she’d been stuck in her own head. 
“Hey Chaton, what are you doing out here? It’s my night to patrol.” She asked as another entirely panicked thought came to mind - that she’d been so dazed she’d missed the tell-tale signs of an Akuma.
But, before she could freak out any further, she took in Chat’s relative ease - or at least, he didn’t look like he was on the verge of jumping into a fight. He did seem apprehensive, though. She could tell in the way it tensed and squeezed his shoulders together like he wanted to be close, but wouldn’t dare come in contact with her.
Which made her wonder if she’d said or done anything recently to give him the idea he was overstepping his bounds. Or maybe he was mad at her for something? And wasn’t that just the icing on the cake that was her day? 
First, Lila had caused a major scene that got Marinette detention for the rest of the week (it all happened so fast, she barely remembers what the hell had even happened). Now she was having a panic attack over whether her partner was mad at her for something she didn’t remember doing? Who else was she going to piss off today?
“What’s your stance on sharing your identity?”
Panic attack on momentary pause, a dark brow shot up at the question, and if she wasn’t so wary of the way he’d said it with that uncomfortable look on his face, she probably would have been angry. But he seemed so off tonight that it was throwing her usual emotions for a loop. So, choosing not to go off on her partner, she sighed heavily, trying to keep her focus on him despite the bubbling irritation, “Chat, I’m sorry, but we’ve talked about this. Our identities are a secret for a reason.”
For the first time since he sat down (she thinks), she sees him glance her way if only slightly. The uncomfortable look on his face had softened a bit but he still has something unreadable in his eyes that makes Ladybug anxious, “So... you’ve never shared your identity? With anyone? Not accidentally or otherwise?”
If she didn’t know any better, she’d say his words were a little accusatory. 
Which, okay first off, what the fuck? And second, why was he suddenly giving her the third degree? 
Again, though, the entire display was throwing her and she knew she had to be rational about this. 
“No. Of course not. I promised you didn’t I? Once Hawkmoth was defeated, you would be the first person I told.” She stated as calmly and resolutely as she possibly can. She’d been clear from the start where she stood on the subject. 
As soon as the words left her mouth, Chat Noir visibly relaxed. Shoulders slumping and a breath heaving from his chest as he nodded, “Right. Right, of course.” He finally managed to turn to look at her and the discomfort was quickly hidden by a small smile.
The shift in his attitude was almost as disconcerting as his arrival.
“What is this about, Chatton?”
That smile faltered a bit as he looked away from her again, “There’s this-” he began but his words died before he shook his head, “No, it’s - it’s nothing. Sorry for bothering you about this. It was stupid.” 
Chat made to stand, but Ladybug caught his wrist before he could get away, “Obviously not if it brought you out here as upset as you looked. I know I can be a real stickler about the secret identities thing, but Chat, I’m not doing this to hurt you. I promise!” She implored, feeling like she’d missed something major. “If you’re being hurt or-”
Blonde hair flew as he shook his head quickly, “No, no. Nothing like that. Really. I know why you do. I won’t pretend it doesn’t suck, but I get it. Really, I do.” He tried to assure her, and while it did seem like he understood and he was being honest with her, he was still hiding something. Something that had driven him to come out and ask her these strange questions.
“Then what was all of this about?”
He had the decency to look apologetic at least as the corners of his mouth pulled up and he shook his head again, “It’s too personal - talking about it might give me away, Bugaboo, but I really am sorry about this. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Ladybug’s eyes darted back and forth as she watched him closely, but eventually, hesitantly, she let go of his wrist and allowed him to get up.
The whole conversation left an unsettling anxiousness over her and a rather uncomfortable tenseness in the air between them as he backed away and saluted before she even had the chance to say anything - disappearing into the night.
That unease followed her home and through her restless sleep and when she woke up the next morning, she couldn’t help but let it consume her thoughts. Distracting her as she made her way to class earlier than usual.
Distracting her so much, in fact, that she almost didn’t notice the crowd gathered around two individuals crammed into her usual seat next to Alya giggling and talking loudly.
Almost.
As much as she hated it, Marinette had developed something of a sixth sense for the Italian exchange student Lila Rossi. A personal radar to warn her of the liar’s presence.
And it was going off big time.
It wasn’t uncommon for Lila to try and steal her spot when she could. Usually, it resulted in some sort of argument between Marinette and Alya when her supposed best friend defended the other girl for just wanting to hang out, and why didn’t she try being nice to the girl for once?
This time, though, Marinette was quickly made aware of three things:
1. Lila wasn’t alone.
2. Whoever this other girl was, she and Lila were already very close and that didn’t bode well for anyone - especially Marinette.
3. Adrien, who was an unfortunate captive in the crowd around his desk, looked really uncomfortable - more so than usual as he openly frowned at the desktop in front of him, trying not to associate with the things going on around him.
What the hell was going on? Marinette had only been gone from class for one afternoon! 
Alya was the first to notice her entrance to the class, giving her an unsure look from her seat (she had been pretty mad at her yesterday for whatever it was that landed her detention for the week), causing a ripple effect as Lila and her ‘guest’ looked up at her too, quieting down and catching everyone else’ attention.
The unfamiliar girl sized the noirette up before speaking, “Is this the girl you were telling me about?”
Lila put on her biggest, fakest, puppy-dog eyes and nodded softly, watching Marinette like she might lunge at her any second now. 
Like parting the red sea, the unfamiliar girl stood from her place at Marinette’s desk and the crowd around her gave her room to move, allowing her to make her way to stand haughtily before her. The girl was a tad taller than Marinette, but the platform sandals she wore made it so Marinette would need to look up at her slightly. She had dark, almost black, shoulder-length hair that hung loosely, but the color of her brows made it clear that it wasn’t natural. She’d dyed it, recently too, if the lack of root discoloration was any indication.
Marinette watched her approach with a raised brow, unimpressed by the superior gleam to the girl’s blue-green eyes.
“I heard you’ve been bullying my best friend.” She said, authoritatively, her hands propped on hips clad in Gabriel branded jeans.
There was a collective gasp among her classmates like this was some big reveal in a soap opera. 
The class rep merely blinked a moment, brow still raised because who the fuck even was this girl and why was she squaring up to her like she even had a chance? Actually, no, she didn’t care.
“I’m sorry, who are you?” Marinette asked, but her tone gave away how few fucks she actually gave about the girl’s answer.
“For your information, it’s Bianca. I just transferred yesterday. But don’t change the subject. I’ve heard that you’ve been bullying my best friend Lila.”
Before Bianca had a chance to say any more, Marinette gave her a deadpanned look, “Well, sorry to inform you, but your best friend is a liar.”
Lila could immediately be heard breaking out into sobs somewhere in the background but Marinette was quickly losing interest in this conversation. 
“I don’t think she is. I think you’re the liar. In fact, I think people like you are what’s wrong with Paris. Always trying to hurt others so they get Akumatized and I have to clean up your mess.”
I’m sorry, what? 
That had Bluebell eyes snapping to focus on the girl in front of her. Interest piqued. 
“I’m giving you one chance. Stop being a menace to society or my partner and I will take action.”
There was quite a bit to unpack from that. Like... a lot. Menace to society? Partner? Take action?
Who did this girl think she was? Ladybug?
The one thing that seemed clear to Marinette after reviewing the word choices in her own head a few times, was that this was not a friendly recommendation.
“Are you threatening me?”
She probably should have sounded a little angrier. In fact, anything would have been better than bored. But she just couldn’t find the energy. 
A triumphant smile spread over Bianca’s face, as she disregarded the lack of fear in Marinette’s voice, “I don’t threaten people. But that is a promise.”
Marinette was left to blink at her a little longer. 
Because what even was happening here? What on earth had she done that the universe saw fit to drop this steaming pile of bull on her morning?
And why did it feel like the girl was hinting at something she wasn’t picking up on? Why was her body telling her that she needed to react while her brain was taking its sweet time to catch up with everything?
“Dude,” someone from the peanut gallery stage whispered, finding it in their heart to give her a helping hand, “That’s Ladybug!”
Lila shushed them loudly, “Guys, not everyone is supposed to know! We don’t know who we can trust!”
Oh.
oohhhhh!
Wow. When she’d made that comment in her head before, she’d been joking but... seriously? Did she really just?
“You’re Ladybug?” Marinette asked, wanting to clarify and make absolutely certain that she hadn’t just imagined that last forty-five seconds of her life.
Bianca’s chin raised, literally looking down her nose at Marinette, “Normally I wouldn’t share that information with someone like you.”
Behind her, Adrien stood from his seat looking absolutely livid, but Marinette barely had a moment to even register the malice in the gaze he pointed at Bianca before - 
Pfft...
Marinette covered her mouth with her hand to stop it, but nothing could hold back the onslaught now. 
They were giggles at first, tumbling from her in waves as she tried to clear her throat and treat this seriously. But before long, she couldn’t help it. She was laughing out loud, doubling over, completely ignorant (maybe not completely, but she didn’t care at this point) to the looks of confusion on the faces around her.
She made the mistake of looking back up at Bianca and that only renewed her laughing fit until it literally brought her to her knees, clutching her sides as she laughed so hard she cried.
Fucking cried.
It was a solid five or six minutes before she could breathe again. Sitting back up, wiping the tears from her eyes, she beamed at the girl standing awkwardly before her, “Wow. Thanks. I really needed that.”
She cleared her throat, clearly unsure of the strange behavior. She couldn’t blame her for that. “I don’t see what’s so funny.”
“All of it. Really.” She stood up from the floor, making a show of dusting off her pants before turning her full attention back on the girl. 
Because this was going to be fun.
“So, Ladybug, tell me this; if I’m such a menace to society, why would you entrust me with a miraculous?”
Bianca's smirk faltered, her eyes darting over to Lila for a moment, both of them looking a little lost for words. As was everyone else for that matter.
Even Alya, whose mouth hung open at this revelation. But the reporter flew to her phone, swiping quickly, "when?! There were no new heroes! How do we know you're not lying?"
Oh good. They were playing right into it. One thing you could always count on with sheeple... they always follow.
"Huh, well, then I guess if you can’t believe me at my word, it would be pretty easy to fact check." Her tone was a bit forced on those words and the reporter had the decency to look taken aback, "You could always just ask Ladybug, here."
"Well I-"
"Or you could ask her partner. Seeing as how he saw me transform."
Bianca's mouth snapped shut. It was still hit or miss whether or not Marinette was bluffing. And it's easy to claim something like that when the only other person who could confirm or deny the facts was not present.
This had been Lila’s game the whole time. The difference was, Marinette wasn’t lying.
But neither of them could take that chance.
Because neither of them knew what she knew.
And Ladybug was definitely in this room, but it wasn’t who they all thought it was.
"I asked her to give you a chance. Because I wanted to help you. I thought being a hero would make you a better person. But you just kept bullying me!"
"E-exactly."
Ah, so they were going to go this route, hmm? She could work with that. And given Lila’s proclivity for being Akumatized, maybe she could mess with Hawkmoth too while she was at it. 
Because it was only a matter of time before someone was targeted.
"How very generous of you, Lila," She said in her sweetest voice possible, but even to her own ears, it sounded fake. How did Lila keep this up all the time? “But, that’s not what you said on the tower when we fought that Akuma together.”
"What did you think I would say when you were obviously unfit to be a Hero! I didn’t want to risk you turning on me.”
“You didn’t think I was unfit when I helped save you and Chat Noir.” This time, it felt a little more realistic when she put the hurt look on her face, glancing away.
In the process, she caught sight of Adrien giving her a strange look. One she couldn’t really put a name to. But it was different than all of her other classmates. Why did he seem so much more confused than the others? 
The girl scoffed, "leave my partner out of this." She demanded, and it felt like a desperate attempt at redirecting the conversation. 
Fine. She could work with that too.
"You... do know that your 'partner' is my best friend, right?" She turned an apologetic look to Alya she only half meant, "sorry Als, but - you know," Marinette pointed between the two of them indicating the distance that had grown between them. They weren't nearly as close as they'd used to be. And while they were still friends, Marinette had a hard time categorizing her as her 'best friend'.
And the implication wasn't wasted on the reporter either. She was left staring wide with bewilderment and hurt. But Marinette was less positive it was because of not being best friends anymore and more that she hadn't told Alya that she spent time with one of the heroes she loved to chase.
"My partner would never hang out with someone like you."
God, she was just a broken record, wasn’t she? Did she really still think she was bluffing?
With a scoff and a soft shake of her head, Marinette pulled her phone from her pocket and swiped through her pictures until she found what she was looking for.
She wasnt trying to be smug about the way she flipped her phone around so she could show the class, but she definitely couldn't help the little smirk that pulled at her lips as the class gasped again, pulling closer so they could study the photo.
A photo of her and Chat Noir sitting a little too close together on her chaise lounge. Marinette sticking her tongue out at the camera, while chat gave the overly kawaii victory peace sign over his left eye like he was straight out of an anime. It was one of her favorites. They'd spent nearly the whole night binging on shows together after a particularly stressful day. The pictures had been a side effect of too much sugar, not enough sleep, and good company. And for some reason when Chat found out she’d been Multimouse, that increased her ‘coolness factor’ and they had something in common.
Of course, she couldn’t tell him that wasn’t the only thing they had in common.
Either way, it had brought them closer together as friends and they hung out often. 
Which was a reprieve given that most of her friends had abandoned her anyway. 
As Bianca stared a little blankly at the picture, a number of voices all began to pick up around them.
"You're actually friends with chat noir? That's so cool!"
“Does that mean you hang out with the other heroes too?”
“What is Chat Noir really like?”
"Wait, then that means you really were a hero? I thought heroes had to keep their identities secret."
That’s the one she’d been waiting on. Quickly silencing the others with a pointed look back at Bianca, "They do. But I'm not a hero anymore, am I Ladybug?"
"I-I..."
"Why was it again that I’m not allowed to be Multimouse again?" She put a thoughtful finger to her chin, but she felt her own fire building in her core, “I’m pretty sure it was nothing to do with being a menace to society.”
She tapped her chin a few more times, looking around deep in thought. Catching another glimpse of Adrien studying her carefully, but she refused to let his perfectness distract her because fuck these people.
Fuck the high road.
If he was going to be mad at her for standing up for her alter-ego then fuck him too.
But he didn’t seem mad. 
In fact, as soon as she locked eyes with him, a slight smirk pulled at his lips. It was roguish and totally out of place on his angelic face, but goddamn did it do things for her.
But the smirk paired with the slightly raised brow aimed at her said, ‘Yes, what did Ladybug say?’
It’s sarcastic and playful and familiar in ways her heart is not ready to admit.
But that would have to come later.
Marinette spun back to the imposter, narrowing her eyes dangerously, "Oh right! Because I'd accidentally revealed my identity to Chat Noir. Because identities are supposed to remain a secret."
"W-well th-there are exceptions!" Bianca tries to defend, but Marinette isn’t going to let her.
“No, I think you, just like your supposed best friend, are a liar. You’re not Ladybug. You don’t know a damn thing about Ladybug. Because if you were, you’d already have been beaten. You’ve been in this classroom all of what, one day? And the entire class already knows your ‘identity’? We’re all lucky you aren’t one of the heroes, otherwise, Hawkmoth would already have won!”
She was fuming now. All of the emotions finally catching up with her. She thrust an accusatory finger at Bianca, making the girl stumble back slightly, “You don’t know a damn thing about what it takes to be a hero. What they have to sacrifice to keep people safe. Besides, Ladybug and Chat Noir don’t even know each other's identities - why the hell would Ladybug share something like that with a classroom full of people who’ve been Akumatized at least once and not share that with her own partner?!”
Whatever fear she’d instilled in the new girl quickly swapped for something much closer to fury as she reclaimed her balance and advanced on Marinette with a fire burning in her eyes. “How dare you call me a liar, you little fucking brat!” 
Surprised at the outburst, Marinette didn’t move when she saw Bianca raise her hand to strike her, instead, closing her eyes and bracing for the blow.
A blow that never connected. 
A gasp brought Marinette to peak open her eyes before they widened at the scene.
Bianca stood where she had previously, hand raised and poised to strike. But just behind her, Adrien had moved - impossibly quick, seriously when the hell had she gotten up? - and grabbed the girl’s arm, hand clutching tightly at her, keeping her still.
“A-Adrien!”
“That’s enough.” He hissed at her, voice low and threatening. “If it wasn’t clear before, it definitely is now. You’re not Ladybug. She would never raise a hand to a civilian like that!”
“B-but - !” Lila tried to come to her ‘friend’s’ defense but was silenced when he shot her an equally terrifying look.
“I’ve had enough of you trying to turn everyone against Marinette. I knew you both were lying when you ‘accidentally’ revealed Ladybug’s identity to me yesterday, but I didn’t have proof to prove it. You’ve been lying to everyone about everything!”
Wait... The way he’d said accidentally... why did it seem so familiar? 
Her thoughts of the blonde-haired, green-eyed model were very suddenly replaced with thoughts of a similarly blonde-haired, green-eyed superhero who’d come looking for her on his night off, asking if she’d ever ‘revealed herself, accidentally or otherwise’.
“Adrien! Y-you’re hurting me!”
Marinette’s eyes were drawn to the boy’s hand, still tightly clutching Bianca’s in a vice grip that would likely leave bruises.
But that’s not what she was focused on. Instead, it was the familiar shape of his silver ring that drew her eye. Familiar because she’d seen him wear it since the first day she’d met him and never took it off. 
Except for the day they’d done the shoot for her website.
The day she and Chat had to switch Miraculouses.
Adrien.
Adrien was Chat Noir.
Her kitty had been there the entire time.
That’s why he’d been so angry. That’s why he’d looked so upset. That’s why he’d come looking for her and asking such strange questions!
Because Lila and her lackey had chosen the one person who’d know for a fact that they were lying.
And if she thought she couldn’t love him any more than she already did, she was sorely mistaken.
“What is going on in here?!”
Great.
She didn’t pay much attention to the chaos that ensued after Madame Bustier had walked in the room. Lila and Bianca had claimed Marinette attacked and Adrien had stepped in to help her and they were both sent to the hall because a number of people started speaking up and coming to their defense, suddenly not blinded by Lila’s lies any longer.
But now, she was standing in the hall next to her crush and her partner. 
“I’m so sorry Marinette.”
Her thoughts came to a startling halt as she turned wide eyes on him.
“I shouldn’t have ever told you not to call her out. I was stupid. I just hope you’ll forgive me someday.”
Marinette couldn’t help the smile that pulled at her lips, because how could she not have noticed? Model or not, that was the heart of her partner beating in that beautiful body of his. 
“There’s nothing to forgive, Adrien. Besides, at least you checked your sources.” She chuckled, finding so much irony in that statement. If he hadn’t come looking for her, she probably wouldn’t have put it together.
He turned a confused look on her.
The smile she turned on him in return was brighter than she’d given anyone in some time, “I told you, didn’t I? You’d be the first to know.”
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mypersonmyg · 4 years
Text
sweatshirt | jjk
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pairing: jeongguk x reader
genre: fluff
rating: g
wc: 1.3k
warnings: none... :D
request: @joonsrack​
summary:  Y/n has a habit of stealing her roommates clean clothes when she runs out of clean clothes herself, but one day she runs into her roommate's hot friend and he ask her, "is that my shirt?" Pick any member you think fits best 😌 (cr. @joonsrack )
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a/n: my first drabble request from my very own employer! who has in fact already read and reviewed it and is also responsible for the summary; i also love her very much 2 stars :-))
“THIS IS LIKE THE ROMEO AND JULIET WHERE EVERYTHING IS MODERN BUT THEY SPEAK IN SHAKESPEAR” ~ alys 2021
[drabble masterlist]
[request a drabble]
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Spontaneous hilarity is a melodious tune, slipping through canals to the cavity of a chest dampened with the floral droplets left from the pressured rain of the shower-head. Fresh linen wraps bare flesh, little shield from the gust that greets a toe into the hall, high pitch forcing forward the step of trembling limbs surrounded by the billow of dense steam. Maneuverability is habit, the peak of a head around the not so distant corner too brisk to meet eyes but not agile enough for you to miss wind completely. 
The slide of feet against hardwood pushes to the opening of your bedroom, lights strung nearly blinding with your upward gaze, dancing along skirting irises until you’ve averted to aged oak, pulling geometric framing from its integrity for cloth to cover you in modest despite the growth of fabric growling from the mouth of a closet overflowed. Even so, arms are left bear, chill raising flesh unfavorably giving rise to the free flow of muttered grouch. 
Your head is filled with the previous protests of Taehyung, his closet deemed over the limit of acceptable in the clause of your rooming condition. The stipulation is senselessly sensible, your hands klepto drawn to the hang of his thick sleeves and sweatshirts outgrowing the stretch of his own limbs. The closet, now filled with your clothes begging to be soaped, once filled with items stolen from the hangings of Taehyung’s wardrobe. 
Company is a distraction, but not enough for the creak of boards to slip your mind, strides stealthily shifting down the hall to Taehyung’s door already half yielding to the natural filter of light. Your venture is without fail, the hang of a sweatshirt shadowed in the stream from the hall, your hands snag the material, slipping it over your head, warmth engulfing with a scent familiar if not a tone off from normal. 
You note the kiss of wind clinging to the warm garment, unaware that Taehyung stepped out, but unbothered by the fact, too consumed with the heat radiating from the sleeves to your skin still aflame with bumps of chill. The carry of voices from the living room are enticing, heady dialogue routine for nights spent laying in fantastical mist just mere inches, waiting to be swallowed whole by healthy infatuation were it not for your own misgivings.
Instead of the head first dive that threatens to nudge you into the open, you find comfort in the plush of your pillows, tugging at cottony sleeves that swallow you without complaint. Voices permeate drywall, filling blank space, a certain timber grabbing you by your brain already half hazed with comfort and coaxing to premature slumber. You rest in the precipice of consciousness, eyes slated to close, your mind roaming and aware though not enough to grasp the coherency of voices just beyond the door. 
It’s the distant thud of the front door that pulls you forth, shoulders jolting under the stress of disturbance. You’re fatigued, irritation clogging your brain at both the unplanned period of rest and unceremonious awakening so thoughtlessly bestowed. It’s shoved to wayside when your stomach shifts, lack of contents unforgiving with an embarrassed rumble of anger. You chance the trek to the kitchen, volume died down and the slam of the door indicative of a recent departure.
 In your earlier haste the design of the sweatshirt you dawned was lost, though now the maroon aglets that dangle in your peripheral with each swing of your limbs draws your eye. You halt, mid-stride, feet dragging against the span of carpet shield your feet from the cold of the wood flooring. 
Like the click of your mental, the door swings back on its hinges Jeongguk in toe, his gaze locked on his phone, limbs hastily dragging him in your direction. The scent that still filters in and out of your nostrils is now all too familiar, recollection clawing at an earlier conversation with the not so inconspicuous apple of your eye. 
You’re stilled until he threatens to knock you where you stand, audible gasp drawing his attention, his hand shooting in haste, steadying your frame at the waist. 
“Sorry! I was far too distracted by my phone,” He’s sheepish, device flashing in his palm in rapid succession. “I’m sure you know better than most how impatient our friend is.”
“That I do,” You feel awkward with the few words, laughter falling in short gasps. 
“I don’t mean to barge in, I just…”He fades, breathing you in and out in kind, flustered but not as shy as his usual darkened cheeks let on. “...forgot my sweatshirt. That one actually.” 
Your fingers trace the raised hem of your borrowed garment, toying with the idea of its removal, jaded only by the feelings set aflutter in the cage shielding your blood-pumping organ. Like an extra layer, his stare covers you in heady warmth, his lips quirking, head tilting in the way you’ve always been taken with. 
“Yeah, I’m sorry, I thought it was Tae’s which is really no excuse because he definitely hates when I steal his stuff. If it makes any difference I noticed it smells different, now I know it’s the fabric softener you said you like and maybe I like it too because—” 
“Y/n—”
“Sorry, I’m rambling, I’ll just give this back before Tae bites your head off—”
“Y/n.” Your hands are halted by Jeongguk’s gentle grasp to your wrists, fingers already clutching either side of the sweatshirt. You manage an upward glance, his eyes locked, pupils dazed with amusement. “It’s fine, really.” 
“Oh, but you’re going out and it’s  probably chilly.” 
“I’ll just borrow one of Taehyung’s, no big deal.” 
Your brows knit, Jeongguk’s grip loosening with the gentle tug of your arms to your side. “Well that would be a little counterproductive, wouldn’t it? I could just give yours back and I could just borrow one of Tae’s.”
“Well sure,” Jeongguk counters, lip twitching, feet shifting. You wait for him to continue, the words seeming to halt in his throat, cheeks stretching from the strain of muscles in attempt to exercise the correct verbiage. A fragile process, silence filled only with the low hum he emits, ears darkening with each passing phrase. “But! He’ll be pissed at you for borrowing his clothes and he’ll be totally fine if I do it. Besides, this looks good on you.” 
“Relax, it’s just a sweatshirt.” You feign, flustered by the words oozing affection. 
“Yeah, but it’s my sweatshirt. I think I look good on you.” You can’t muster an utterance of coherency, jaw unhinged whilst Jeongguk traverses to Taehyung’s room, resurfaced moments later with arms wrapped in a crew Taehyung often sports. He’s smug, though you still see the tint of his cheeks, confidence not entirely free of the shy boy you’ve come to adore. “I guess I should get going.” 
“Yeah, don’t want Tae coming up here and yelling at both of us.” 
Jeongguk makes it to the door, hand grasping the cool of the handle, head tilting once more in your direction. “I hear you’re famous for stealing people’s clothes, but I think I’m gonna need that back.” 
“Oh, yeah I’ll make sure to get it to you!” Your momentarily pulled from the moment of unbridled bliss, cursing Taehyung for outting you whilst holding the knowledge of the feelings decorating your sleeve in bulbs and blossoms. 
“How about you bring it to my place...Saturday?” 
“Oh, sure, is there a time that works best for you?” 
“How about sometime in the evening...seven thirty. Make sure to clear your schedule though, it might take a while.” Your idle mind is too busy catching up to the words free flowing, no room left for questions when Jeongguk is already closing the door in his stead. The smile decorating your lips is enough indication that his motivation is clear enough and you’ve got a date with the boy you love, his sweatshirt wrapping you in warmth and the guise of fresh fabric all the clarification you need. 
97 notes · View notes
amillionsmiles · 4 years
Text
in your bedroom after the war (Dick/Artemis)
Title: in your bedroom after the war Summary: As far as coping mechanisms go, Artemis could be doing worse. At least her method has a gymnast’s ass. / Post-Invasion, pre-Outsiders. Rated M.  A/N: I have one (1) agenda and that is messy grieving fuck buddies who are each other’s ride-or-dies. if you are not into fic that sits squarely in sad feral horny territory, then this is probably not your speed.
[Read and review here] or continue under the cut.  
| GOTHAM
| JANUARY 14, 2017; 12:05 AM EST
Artemis is a bit heavier than she was in her teenage years, but her feet land lightly on the fire escape by the window. An hour ago, she’d called her mom from Metropolis, promising she’d be home by midnight. Ever since her daughter faked her death a year ago, Paula Nguyen has become even more of a worrywart, and Artemis knows that the five minutes she’s running late are going to cause her to receive an earful.
“Didn’t think I’d see you back in this neck of the woods.” A familiar figure drops from the roof above onto the rung below her.
“Nightwing.”
She’s not surprised that he’s been keeping tabs. Officially, he’s been on a leave of absence for the past six months, but Dick, like her, is vigilant in his grief.
She’d come back to Gotham because it put her closer to Metropolis and Beta Squad’s continued investigation of LexCorp, but the truth is that she could have Zeta-tubed from Palo Alto easily. Their—her—apartment had been no good though, not without Wally. So she’d left most of her things in storage to figure out later and moved back in with her mom. On days when Artemis can’t muster the energy to get out of bed, Paula wheels determinedly around the kitchen, ready to whip up some mì xào  or a warm bowl of  mì gói.  They play card games and laugh about how bad Wally was at tiến lên the first time Paula tried to teach him. Your boy has no patience, he always wants to play his strongest cards right away, her mom had teased, and Wally had protested, I make it a rule to always put my best foot forward! and Artemis had loved him even more then.
Loved. Loves. She hates the past tense.
“I mean, were you ever going to ask me to grab coffee?”
She can see the bits of Wally in his cracks. In a room together, it was always easy to tell they were best friends from the way they riffed off each other. The acrobat and the speedster: all verbal gymnastics and fast-moving quips. But unlike Wally, who liked poking fun because he liked getting attention, Dick is at his wittiest when trying to avoid talking about himself.
Artemis reaches out and pulls him to sit down beside her. She makes a show of looking at her watch.
“How’s… 12:15 AM this Saturday?”
Dick pretends to check it against his mental schedule. If his is anything like hers, it probably goes: Wake up. Exercise (beating up bad guys counts). Mourn.
“Yeah, seems like I can swing it.”
“Perfect,” says Artemis, sliding up the glass panes to let them into her childhood bedroom. “I’ve got just the stuff.” 
*
In the kitchen, Brucely stirs briefly from his dog bed to sniff the air and  yip, then curls back asleep. Paula hands Dick a mug, waiting for him to take a sip before saying, “So you were the one who had the brilliant plan to have my daughter fake her death.” 
Dick splutters; from the table, Artemis rises to his defense. “Mom,” she says. “Leave him be.”
Setting his cup down, Dick leans against the cabinets, bending his head slightly and rubbing the back of his neck. He does a good job of appearing chastised, and Artemis wants to roll her eyes, if only because she’s heard from Bette and Raquel that this pose is far too effective at convincing women to want to forgive him or try again.
“I’m not leading much of anything these days, if that’s at all a comfort to you.”
“Hmph.” Paula sniffs. “You live alone?”
“Yeah.” Dick shoots Artemis a questioning look over her mom’s head. Artemis shrugs.
“What do you do to fill the time?”
“A lot of reading. Gotham’s library system actually has a pretty good selection, believe it or not. I’ve also gotten really into meditating.”
“And you don’t sleep.”
Dick stiffens. For the first time, he looks exposed, a boy with too much guilt and too much time on his hands.
“I do. Tonight I was just… restless.”
Paula nods and backs up her wheelchair so she can sit by Artemis, curling her fingers over Artemis’s hand and squeezing. She raises her drink, Artemis and Dick following suit, the three of them toasting to invisible losses.
“Aren’t we all.”
*
Later, back on the fire escape, Dick taps his fingers against the railing, jittery. “I feel like I need to start doing jumping jacks. What was in that stuff?”
Artemis bites back a smile. “Yeah, Vietnamese coffee packs a hit. That’s my bad. Probably should have given you something non-caffeinated at this hour.”
“It’s fine. I’ll jog it out, or something.” He turns to go, but Artemis stops him with a hand on his shoulder.
“Hey, listen—it was good seeing you tonight. And if you need someone to talk to…” What she really means is: it’d be nice to be around someone who’s hurting as much as I am. Not to say that the rest of the team wasn’t as torn up over Wally’s death, but she and Dick had been ground zero. Closest to the blast.
After a pause, Dick nods. “Yeah… I could use a sparring partner, actually. I’ll send you an address.”
“Okay.” Satisfied, Artemis withdraws her hand, curling her fingers into her palm.
It feels like a start.
*
Dick’s directions lead Artemis to Wayne Manor; from there he takes her to the Bat Cave.
“I thought you were striking out on your own,” Artemis says, using her forearms to deflect a kick to her face. Dick grunts and recovers, throwing a punch to her stomach; she dances out of the way.
“I am. I just pop in here from time to time because Bruce has better equipment. Plus there’s less of a chance of me disturbing the neighbors.” He gestures to the eerily blue-lit stone walls around them.
Artemis feints and goes low, ducking under Dick’s guard. Two quick hits to Dick’s sternum pushes him back, before he gets a hand on her wrist and twists her around so that her back is pressed against his chest.
“Weren’t we supposed to be talking?”
Kicking his shin, Artemis breaks free. “All right, fine. I’ll start.”  Jab.  “I keep wanting a scapegoat.”  Kick.  “Like, one person to blame, instead of something as big as the Reach. But it’s not some giant revenge thing, and I know Wally wouldn’t want me to go down that sort of all-consuming rabbit hole even if it was, and that pisses. Me. Off.” On those last words, she manages to use Dick’s momentum against him and flips him over her shoulder.
For a minute, it’s so quiet between them she can hear the faint plip of water dripping from a stalactite into the water below the sparring dais. Still lying on the floor, Dick confesses, “I keep hearing him.”
“I make a joke to myself and he’s there, in my ear, with the punchline. And then…” He passes a hand over his face.  “And then I realize that the real punchline is him being gone.”
Slowly, Artemis approaches him. She feels like she did when they were undercover at Haly’s circus so many years ago, that brief moment of hangtime before their hands connected in the air. She means to sit down next to him, pat his shoulder, she doesn’t know what, but instead Dick sweeps her legs out from under her and she goes down hard, the air whooshing out of her chest as she falls flat on her back.
“Agh!” The release sets something loose inside her. Next thing she knows, she’s yelling again, louder, just because.
Dick catches on and then it’s just the two of them shouting, their voices echoing through the cavern, threading around and piling atop each other like a flock of birds. After they’re done, Dick rolls so that they’re lying side by side.
“You know, when we were starting out—when we first became friends—I used to make fun of Wally that if he kept talking so much while running he was bound to swallow more bugs, or something. And he’d just shoot back like, ‘Nah dude, you think I’m not fast enough to see them and dodge them in the air?’ But you know how he was always so hungry after missions? One time I was so mad at him I put a bug in his sandwich. I’ve never forgotten the look on his face after he bit into it and I said, dodge that.”
“You didn’t.” Artemis gasps and covers her mouth, horrified, but she can see it so vividly: the colors draining from Wally’s face, making his freckles pop even more against his skin, the same greenish tint his cheeks took the time they went to Vietnam and he got food poisoning. He’d spent two days feverishly glaring up at the mosquito netting, and Artemis had draped cold hand towels over his forehead and promised she wasn’t going to leave him for the very obliging boy who kept bringing them ice.
“I did.” Dick is gleeful. “Really put the ‘rank’ in prank.”  
Artemis snorts; the snort turns into a full-blown guffaw. Dick turns toward her, laughing too. His hair is matted with sweat but still soft; it brushes against her forehead.
It feels so good to be close to someone again, to be able to flip on a dime from sadness to frustration to anger to laughter and not have to explain herself. She can’t remember the last time she smiled and didn’t feel guilty about it, and she means it more affectionately than anything when she reaches over and brings Dick’s mouth to hers, like if she inhales whatever they’ve temporarily managed to create here between them, it’ll be enough to tide her over for the next few months. For a second, he’s warm and responsive, before his lips stiffen and he pulls back.
“I shouldn’t have done that.”
Shouldn’t, couldn’t, wouldn’t.  Shouldn’t beat yourself up about it, shouldn’t blame yourself for getting back in the game.  Artemis is sick of people telling her how to deal, how it’s supposed to go.  It’ll get better and then it doesn’t. People talk like there are guidebooks for this kind of shit, like it’s a marathon she just needs to pace herself through. And it’s the stupidest thing, but she misses being held.
She sits up and crosses her arms, resisting the urge to curl in on herself. “You didn’t do anything. I’ll go.”
“No, Artemis, wait, I don’t think you should go, I just want to understand what’s going on—”
“I want you to touch me, okay?” she explodes. “I want you to touch me because he’s never going to again and I know you loved him too and—and maybe if it’s you, I won’t feel so desperately alone.”
Dick looks stricken, and then, hesitantly, he reaches for her. His eyes are so blue, the kind of crushed eggshell you’d use to make a paint. “You’re not alone.”
“Prove it,” she says, vision blurring with tears—wanting, needing him closer, and then his hairline is up against hers again and his nose is at her cheek, his mouth at her jaw, soft but with a willingness to bruise. Don’t ask me what we’re about to do, Artemis silently begs, and Dick doesn’t.
 *
 Wally had been a restless lover. Always turning them over, switching positions. Artemis had taken it as a challenge, part of the ongoing competition that defined their relationship. Deep down, she’d known that Wally would be just as content if the rest of their sex life consisted solely of spooning gently on Sundays, which, if anything, was why she’d been so eager to experiment—because it felt like an easy gift she could give, not something she had to master to “maintain excitement” or make him stay.
She’s not sure what she expected from Dick. Maybe that’s a comfort—that she wasn’t fantasizing before they happened, wondering about all the mechanics of how it would go. Dick lets her call the shots, lets her ride him into the ground, the grip of his fingers around her thighs the only reminder she isn’t just angling toward oblivion. When he presses his thumb between her legs, it’s a weird sort of anchor—like hearing a voice pick up on a line you thought was dead. She has a body, and here’s someone on the other end of it, caring about her release. As soon as that thought hits, the relief shudders through her; she keeps rocking long enough to feel Dick follow, a stutter and a grunt, before she collapses boneless over him, the sweat of his skin a comforting stickiness against her cheek.
Internally, she apologizes to Bruce for desecrating his training space. Then again, they’re hardly the first of the Justice League to get handsy in less than appropriate places. She’s seen how Black Canary and Green Arrow act around each other.
Below her, Dick catches his breath. The rush of blood—his or hers—is loud in her ears.
“I didn’t think you’d be so…”  Giving, she means to say, but it gets lost on her tongue. “I mean, Zatanna…” she trails off again.
If Dick’s embarrassed at the prospect of his ex-girlfriend having blabbed about the details of their sex life to Artemis, he doesn’t show it. His fingers find a snag in her hair; gently, he works it loose. The air smells hedonistic. He keeps combing. Nice is the only word she can think to describe it, and that makes her want to cry again, so she squeezes her eyes shut.
“Thank you,” she whispers against his chest.
Dick pauses his ministrations. He flattens his palm against the base of her neck and just—holds her there.
“Don’t mention it.”  
When she goes home that afternoon to shower, she runs the water on full blast for a long time.
 *
 Armed with Chinese food, she visits Dick’s place the next day intent on making amends. Dick doesn’t even act surprised; he just points to the glass coffee table where she can set the bag of chopsticks, napkins, and takeout.
“I’m trying to decide what to watch.”
There’s really no need for him to stand in front of the TV the way he does, one hand propped on his hip as he clicks through options with the remote. Artemis lets herself ogle, a bit. The surest way to blow past what happened between them yesterday is to be honest with herself, right? And as far as coping mechanisms go, Artemis could have done worse. At least her method has a gymnast’s ass.
“Any preferences?”
“Between what?” asks Artemis, cracking open the carton of lo mein and settling back against the cushions. The Netflix suggestion algorithm onscreen paints a condemning picture of Dick’s tastes. “True crime or… true crime?”
Wally had been really into nature documentaries. One time during freshman year, when they were still living on Stanford’s campus, they’d gotten high in Wally’s dorm room and watched Blue Planet. Wally had cried when the seal got flung apart by killer whales.
“I’ll Be Gone in the Dark it is, then,” says Dick. He settles next to her on the couch, peeling back one of the orders and sniffing its contents. “What’s this one?”
“Salt and pepper ribs. They were today’s special.”
“Artemis.” Dick beams. “You really do care about me.”
 *
 Ten minutes into the episode begs a single question: “Isn’t it sort of depressing that you spend so much of your day fighting crime, and then you go home to unwind and just watch… more of it?”
Dick shrugs. “It keeps me sharp. And it’s nice seeing other people solve problems.”
“Well, if you ever feel like branching out, there’s a short film about Rubik’s cubes you might like.” Artemis nudges his side. “Remember when you were a scrawny math geek?”
Bringing both hands behind his head, Dick smirks. “Still a math geek. Just not scrawny.”
Artemis stares. That was just a bit of friendly showboating, right? Or was it a flirt? Not trusting herself, she whips her gaze back toward the TV. What feels like eons later, the credits roll.
“Artemis,” Dick says, too soft for having just finished a show about murder. He taps the corner of his mouth. “You’ve got some food stuck.”
She wipes with the back of her hand; a breaded piece of orange chicken emerges as the culprit. Without thinking, she flicks it off, sending it flying somewhere onto Dick’s carpet.
“Oops.”
Chuckling, Dick shakes his head. “I need to vacuum tomorrow, anyways.”
The mention of tomorrow stirs her. “Right. I should head out.”
“Yeah.” Dick rises to help her clean up their mess, holding open the plastic bag so she can toss in the soiled napkins and other bits of trash. “Or—”
He hesitates, but the hesitation’s enough. It might as well be a hand on her wrist, with how it stops her in her tracks. All night, despite what she told herself, she’s been looking for proof: proof that his aloneness fits the shape of hers, that he needs her, too. This time, Dick makes the first move—cups her face in both hands and kisses her, slow and deep and full of heat. Some pepper from the food they ate still lingers on his lips, making her mouth tingle, and Artemis is dizzy and flat on her back on the couch before she knows it, giving in.
Not scrawny at all, she thinks, admiring the solidness of Dick’s knees on either side of her, the weight of his frame as they grind together. The sheer mechanics of it feel very horny-teenager-after-prom, but the way Dick sucks her bottom lip and swallows her breath down with it is decidedly adult.  These days, Artemis practically lives in her sports bra, which doesn’t exactly grant easy access, but when Dick’s fingertips skim over the cotton covering her breasts the sensation zings all the way down her spine.
“Need… off…”
“Yeah,” Dick murmurs, humming as he moves down the column of her neck. “Gimme a sec, I’m working on it.”
She’d worn sweats because she figured their bagginess would keep her from sparring again and any potential… situations that could arise from that. Instead, all it means is Dick unties the drawstrings easily, sliding her pants down her legs. Cool air brushes across her as he shifts positions; she wants to sob in relief. His teeth graze her hip and then catch the edge of her panties and—oh. Fuck. The moan tears out of her and she scrabbles at the armrest, hips rising of their own accord. Next time, she is handcuffing Dick to a bed, because what he’s doing with his tongue and fingers should be illegal. She can feel him grinning, the bastard, and the only thing keeping her from crushing his head to a pulp between her thighs is the maneuver he pulls where he hooks her knees over his shoulders, so he can change the angle and plunge in deeper. Artemis shoves the edge of her T-shirt into her mouth at the last minute, only barely managing to muffle her cry.
Dick surfaces from his solo mission looking entirely too satisfied, mouth glistening. Trembling, still, from her orgasm, Artemis squints at him, possessed by some combination of unbridled lust and rage.
“Dick.”
“You calling, or asking?”
“Shut up,” she hisses. She feels like a newborn foal, after what he just did to her, but the urge to dismantle him just as thoroughly sends her surging upward and pushing him back. Dick welcomes their reversed positions by peeling off his shirt and tossing it over his shoulder, all while Artemis works furiously at his belt. It shouldn’t feel so good, to hear the metal clink against his button and watch the leather slide through the loops. To see the shadows the light of the TV casts on him—the lashes on his cheeks, the hollow of his throat. Artemis hadn’t paid much attention the first time, too desperate and caught up a bit in self-loathing, but now she’s actually enjoying this, savoring the flex of Dick’s abs as he pushes up to meet her, his skin pebbling at her touch.
“I’m going to take you apart,” she purrs.
Dick groans and bucks. The sensation sends a sharp spike of pleasure through her, and she clamps down on him tighter, refusing to yield.
“Try me, Tigress,” he rasps, pushing himself up on one arm so he can mouth at her collarbone. With his other hand, he pulls off her hairtie so her hair comes free of her ponytail, and this is going to be a thing with him, isn’t it, him wanting to fuck her while her hair swings loose around her face. She indulges him for a few minutes, claws his back and bites his shoulder for good measure, but then she’s pushing him back down and stretching out her body as languidly as possible to remind him who’s boss. Their pace slows. Dick keeps a hand fisted in her hair, so he can tug her head back in order to keep her neck exposed to his wanton mouth, but his grip gets less sure the closer she pushes him to the edge.
“Art—” says Dick, the single syllable like a painting pinned to the wall, fraught with desire, and then he just lets it drop, the tresses of her hair falling through his fingers. She wants to tell him that he’s beautiful, that he does look like a boy wonder, right then, in the midst of coming undone, chest flushed and hair mussed and pupils blown nearly wide enough to overtake the blue.
She doesn’t, but she stays the night, and that’s close enough.
 *
  High-functioning, Artemis’s therapist had called her, before Artemis moved back to Gotham. And it does feel like a high—the sneaking around, the after-hours meet-ups, the back-and-forth. There’s no one really keeping tabs on her, though Artemis has plenty of cover stories if anyone asks (new intel, side reconnaissance, etcetera, etcetera). Her mom eyes her and says, “As long as you’re not planning on staging your own death again, because I will find out and I will kill you this time,” and that’s that. Artemis nearly laughs. If anything, what she’s doing is the opposite, a small resurrection. An entire month and a half passes this way: day trips and dinners and movie nights and Dick and her in a bathtub, in the shower, against a wall. She even wears a gown and heels once, not because they have an actual event to attend, but because Dick has a fantasy that involves taking her from behind in the Wayne Manor library.
They’re in his apartment on a Sunday morning bathing in the afterglow, sheets tangled around their waists. Thank god Dick is one of those assholes that splurged on not only a nice mattress but also a solid bed frame. Artemis reaches over to push the hair out of his eyes. The black tuft on the back of his head that she likes grabbing is fluffed up like a duck's tail, and under the sunlight slanting through the windows, he looks angelic.
“Are you falling back asleep?”
Yawning, Dick snags her around the waist, dragging her to him. She should not delight this much in being manhandled.
“You wore me out,” he complains, tucking his chin over her shoulder.
“They just don’t make them like they used to,” Artemis sighs. Dick growls a little at the dig, fingers tightening against her hip.
Well. If he’s going to nap, she is, too. Comfortably spooned, she snuggles back against him, prepared to drift off.
“Do you think Wally would have wanted…” Dick doesn’t finish the thought.
Artemis turns in his arms. Dick has long eyelashes, and he’s looking at her through them almost bashfully. She places a hand on his chest. Feels his heartbeat thump once, twice.
“I think he would want us to be happy.”
“Are you?” Dick’s voice fades out and he has to swallow hard to clear his throat. “Happy?”
“I’m not… miserable.” 
Dick runs his hand up her bare arm, over her shoulder. “Me neither.”
“You know, Wally and I thought…” She bites her lip, remembering a whoosh of air, Wally speeding to her side to kiss her and interrupting her report on the disabled Paris MFD.  I know we promised each other we’d get out of this game, but maybe we can have our life together and play hero, too.  “We thought we’d have everything.”
Dick’s response isn’t mournful; it’s matter-of-fact. “After my parents died, I never really convinced myself that I could have it all.”
“That sounds like something Batman would say.”
“Does it?”
“A little.”
Once upon a time, Artemis had stood before the team ready to lay bare her darkest secret, waiting to be kicked out. And Dick had shown his hand: he’d known from the beginning and hadn’t cared.  You aren’t your family. You’re one of us. She knows he’s second-guessed himself over the years, wondering how fit he actually is to play leader. But for her, trust has always been the easiest thing about the two of them. It was why she’d said yes so easily to his deep cover mission—because she knew that he wouldn’t quit until he’d brought all of them home, that he would do whatever he could to keep them safe.
Taking his face in both her hands, she looks deep into his eyes. “You deserve good things, Dick Grayson.”
“Mm.” Dick smiles into her kiss, hooks his ankle over hers. “Keep telling me that. I’ll start to believe it.”
 *
 Jade abandons Will and Lian on a Tuesday, and Artemis’s carefully crafted equilibrium falls apart. At least this time she’s not the one directly being left, unlike when she was a teenager. Her expectations of her older sister had hardly been high, but if she’d plotted them on a graph they’d have trended upward. Now they’ve tanked.
“Did she leave any hint of where she was going?” Dick asks over the whir of his juicer. He’s gotten really into squeezing oranges lately; Artemis can’t complain because he always gives her the first glass.
“It’s Jade. She never wants to be found, and I hardly think she’s about to try an  Eat Pray Love type thing.”
“Eat Slash Steal, maybe?” Dick offers, dropping two ice cubes into a drink and setting it in front of her.
Artemis sips, balling up a napkin and throwing it at him at the same time. “Watch it, that’s still my family you’re talking about.”
“I’m sorry. How’s Will taking it?”
“As well as any dad trying to raise a two-year-old by himself would.”
“So, poorly.” Dick taps his finger against the table. “Are they coming here?”
Artemis looks at him blankly. “Why?”
“I figured they might want to be closer to you and your mom now that Jade’s gone. Gotham’s not so bad—you and I turned out fine. And Will probably needs to look into preschools and a babysitter for Lian soon. If you move in with me, you can bring her over whenever.”
The last piece of information slips in so casually she thinks she’s misheard. “What?”
“If you move in with me, you can bring Lian over whenever,” repeats Dick. “This place is as good as yours. You’re over here all the time anyway.”
Suddenly, she can’t breathe. “You’re serious.”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
She can’t meet his eyes. “W—Will’s home is in Star City. He’s not going to move.”
Slowly, Dick says, “Okay. But my offer doesn’t really depend on Will.”
Her stuff is still in boxes. She’s still paying for a storage unit almost 3,000 miles away. And Dick is waiting on her so intently it makes her chest hurt.
Artemis stands up. “We’re not doing this.”
Dick’s eyebrows rise. Annoyance, or maybe anger, flickers across his face. “You wanna fill me in on what exactly it is we’re doing, according to you?”
“We’re not going to fight about this like we’re…”  In a relationship. In love. In anything other than a messy configuration started by shared grief. She doesn’t say any of it out loud, but she doesn’t need to—Dick’s always been great at reading people, and he’s known all her tells from the start.
“Right.”  The single syllable comes out as cold and pointed as an icicle. He pushes his chair back from the table and stands up. The clouds are rolling in, throwing shadows across his features. Even now, Artemis wants to kiss him, wants to be the one to smooth the furrow between his eyebrows away.
“Dick…”
“Do me a favor, will you?” Dick grabs his jacket from the hook by his door, shrugging it on. He pauses, briefly, in the doorway. “Lock my door on the way out.”  
That night, she lies alone in her bedroom next to the picture of her, Wally, and Brucely. Brucely snuffles at the foot of her bed and then leaps onto the covers, and this time she doesn’t shoo him off. Neither does she fall asleep.
 *
 There was a song Jade had liked to sing, passed down from their mother: a Vietnamese lullaby about a yellow butterfly, to the tune of “Frère Jacques.” The butterfly flies all over the sky. Come and see. Come and see. When it became clear that Artemis’s hair would grow in blond, not black, Jade started pulling it, making her giggle. You’re the yellow butterfly, see?
The taxicab she calls for the airport is bright yellow in the morning light. Plain old civilian travel for plain old civilian business. You don’t need to be a superhero to fly across the country and move in with your brother-in-law and your niece. She’ll sing silly little songs and wash Lian’s hair, and they’ll be a family same as anyone else’s: clumsy, incomplete.
“Artemis.” Dick coalesces out of the fog. They haven’t seen or spoken to each other in a week, and she should be mad that he’s here because it probably means he���s been monitoring her web traffic and caught wind she’d bought plane tickets. Still, all she feels is relief.
Jade had laughed when Artemis had let slip what she was doing during one rare sisterly bonding moment. “Oh, darling sister, your thing with your little bird boy isn’t about moving on. You’re using him as a holding pattern. Try not to damage him too much, hm?” Rankled, Artemis had hung up the phone—what did Jade know about anything, besides shoving it under the rug and pretending it didn’t matter? Now, though, Artemis sees things more clearly. Jade did know something about bodies and what they could and couldn’t fix; after all, isn’t that why she ran?
She worries with the strap of her duffel bag, letting Dick approach.
“If this were a romcom, you would have waited until I got to the airport and then run through security.”
“If this were a romcom,” says Dick, stopping in front of her and shoving his hands in his pockets, “I’d be trying to make you stay.”
She thinks he might be the one person left on this planet who knows her best. She thinks they could save each other, if they’d let themselves try. But they each have work to do on their own, first.
Setting down her bag, she tucks her face into the crook of his neck and breathes him in. Wherever else she goes, this spot will always feel like forgiveness. Nose buried in her hair, Dick squeezes her back.
The taxi driver rolls down his window. “Is this guy coming with us or not?”
Artemis pulls back, and there’s so much sky in Dick’s eyes.
“You know where to find me,” she says.
 *
 | STAR CITY
| JULY 29, 2018; 7:30 AM PST
 “Who are you here to recruit this time?” Will asks, leaning against the doorframe, but Artemis doesn’t need an answer, doesn’t need any details but the black hair she can see just over Will’s shoulder, Dick’s voice at the end of a line.
He jumps, and she jumps with him. They’ll figure out everything else as they go.
Before Dick can respond, she says: “I’m in.”
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kuroo-shitsurou · 3 years
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Weekly Meal Prep (Yandere!Omi Fushimi)
note: this is my first attempt at working with the yandere theme so i don't really know if i did good or bad,,, but something about messed up omi just sends me straight to hell. hope you enjoy!
word count: 2.9k
Monday.
"This is so good! This has got to be one of my favorite curry dishes so far." You gushed, shoving another spoonful of the new curry in your mouth.
"Glad you liked it. The place had bad reviews, but I think it's just because normal people don't know how to appreciate the raw and concentrated flavor of curry." Chikage grinned as he looked at you endearingly
"Ugh," You scoffed, "Why can't people understand that the raw flavor of the spices are supposed to taste like this? I dislike the artificial flavors of watered down and manufactured spices because of how... fake it tastes in curry dishes." You were about to go on a full-on rant about how using real spices in curry dishes should be the only way to cook curry.
Chikage watched you with his emerald eyes, admiring how beautiful you looked when you talked about something that you were so passionate about. Yeah, sure, he disliked women, but being here with you made him realize that maybe the other gender wasn't all that bad. Actually, he still hated women; He just didn't hate you.
You weren't a woman. To him, you were a goddess.
"Thank you for taking me out, by the way." You suddenly spoke, breaking your rant about the whole curry ordeal. "You didn't have to, but you did. I appreciate that a lot, Chikage."
His lips curled up in a warm smile.
"Don't mention it, director."
After you two finished your meals, you had to go back to the dorm immediately to hold several meetings with the troupes regarding their next projects. As Chikage held the door open for you, his eyes darted back inside the bustling restaurant.
"Hm? Is something wrong, Chikage?"
Again, he smiled at you, but it was more strained than the last.
"Of course not. Let's go home, shall we?"
-
Tuesday.
"Oi, careful." Juza wrapped an arm around you and pulled you closer to him. A motorcycle was speeding by and it nearly hit you, but thankfully, Juza saw it before it impacted. "Tsk, careless drivers piss me off. Stand here." He then guided you to walk inside of the sidewalk.
"Oh crap, I didn't see that. Thank you, Juza! You're so nice." Juza blushed at your kind words, but he shook his head to rid of the thoughts.
"'S nothin."
"Hey, look at that! They're selling a new flavor of crepes! Come on, let's check it out!" You grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him over to your favorite crepe place. They didn't have a line yet, which was good, because you were able to purchase the new crepes for you and Juza.
"Here!" You grinned at him, handing him one of the crepes
"Lemme pay for them."
"Nonsense!" You gently pushed the crepe further into his hand, and his mind went wild when your fingers brushed his skin. "Consider this a thank you gift because you saved me earlier."
He took the crepe hesitantly, and muttered a quiet "Thanks." before he bit into it.
His face lit up immediately.
"'S sweet. I like it."
"Marshmallow crepes. Genius! We should bring one home for Hisoka. I'm sure he'd love this!"
Juza smiled. He adored how you were always considerate and thoughtful of other people even when you weren't physically with them. It's one of the many things that he loved about you.
Suddenly, he felt a shiver down his spine. He looked around, but was suddenly distracted when you were spilling the cream all over yourself.
"Crap!"
"Oi, tissue!"
He handed you a few tissues so you could wipe your shirt, and you had to admit that was a little mortifying to be that clumsy in front of the younger male.
"Thank you for being so reliable, Juza. Makes me feel
As you were mindlessly walking home, Juza couldn't help but think to himself why that motorcycle looked so damn familiar.
-
Wednesday.
"Come on, director-chan! I promise you, it tastes good!"
"Kazu, I am legitimately going to HURT you."
"No you're not! That's so mean!" Kazunari wept crocodile tears.
"Come on, director-chan! It's just a bite!"
"Kumon, I'm going to die. If I don't make it, tell everyone in Mankai that I love them and that I always treated them as my own family."
"Director-chan, you aren't going to die here." Kumon sweat dropped.
"No, I've accepted my fate. If this is what I must do for love, then at least I'll go out knowing that I did it for you boys.
"Director-chan, it's just a salad. You don't have to be so dramatic about it!"
"It's a death trap! I know you boys want to kill me so you can always get free time!"
"If anything, we're concerned about you health! That's why we want you to eat this!" Kazunari made sure that the fork had greens, kani, and a mishmash of everything before he held it in front of your mouth. "Here, say ah!"
You wanted to throw up. Vegetables. Disgusting.
"This store sells the best kani salad! You have to try it, I promise you'll like it!" Kumon looked at you with big doe eyes and you sighed in defeat.
You leaned forward to eat the portion on the fork and Kazunari blushed because he realized that he was feeding you. It was an adorable sight, and maybe peer pressuring someone into eating healthy food could be an addition to his growing list of love advice.
You blinked. "It's... actually pretty good."
"Right?!" Kumon beamed before giving the restaurant owner a thumbs up.
"Here, director-chan!" Kazunari filled the fork again, "Say ah!"
Your face bloomed red and you snatched the fork from his hand, "I can feed myself just fine, Kazu!"
"You really are the cutest!"
"I wanna feed you too, director-chan!"
Kazunari watched as Kumon bothered you while you ate the rest of the salad. It was off-putting how there seemed to be a cold atmosphere in the room. He looked around to see that there were just a few customers sitting in the dining area. His eyes landed on a hooded figure who was sitting in a lone booth in the corner of the room. The figure had his face hidden behind a menu, but there was something about the person that reminded Kazu of a certain brunette that they loved in Mankai.
Maybe that was just coincidence.
After all, there were a lot of brunettes in Japan.
Right?
-
Thursday.
"It's odd for you two to take me out for Chinese." You stated. Your eyes were scanning the menu of the new Chinese place that opened just a few blocks away from the Mankai dormitory.
"Tsumugi found out about the egg drop soup because apparently it's famous outside of Veludo Way. He was insistent that we take you to try it." Tasuku replied, eyeing how excited Tsumugi looked.
"I've heard great reviews about the egg drop soup and I've been dying to try it." Tsumugi's usually calm and gentle tone of voice was laced with a child-like glee, and it took all of your willpower not to reach over the table so that you can pinch his cheeks.
"He already ordered individual soups for us, but if you want anything else off the menu, go ahead and order it as well." Tasuku won't admit it aloud, but he liked spending time with you and Tsumugi. Being with his bestfriend and his favorite director made him feel a sense of comfort that just made him feel all warm and gooey inside. He felt at home with you two and he wouldn't exchange that feeling for the world.
"It's refreshing to be with you two, especially since it's a lot calmer whenever Tasuku isn't at your throat, Tsumugi." You giggled, ignoring the deadpan look that the athletic male beside you was giving you.
"I'm glad you feel that way, director-san." Tsumugi chimed, smiling. He took your hand a placed a gentle kiss on the back of it. "Spend some more time with us, alright?"
Your face immediately felt hot and you pulled your hand back to save yourself from being more embarrassed than you already were.
"Is it just me, or does it feel like we're being watched?" Tasuku murmured as his eyes quickly scouted the room. Ever since you entered the restaurant, Tasuku already had this instinct in his guts screaming that there was someone watching you. Not just you in particular, but the three of you. You heard him speak, but what he said was unclear.
"Sorry, did you say something, Tasuku?"
"Oh, I was just mumbling. Don't worry about it.
"Three orders of egg drop soup. Can I help you with anything else?"
"No, thank you!"
"Enjoy your meal!"
Tsumugi immediately began to eat his soup even though it was still hot. His face melted into pure bliss as he felt the delicious components sliding down his throat.
"It's so good." He commented, masking his elation.
"It really is!" You added, taking quick slurps from your spoon. The soup itself tasted rich in flavor; It wasn't too runny, nor was it too starchy.
"It tastes okay to me."
"That's so disrespectful, Tasuku." You jokingly said with a mocking tone. "This soup legitimately changed my life. I wish I could have it everyday, along with curry."
"You somehow managed to sneak curry into the conversation again, huh?" He sighed, smiling at the way you laughed afterward.
Tasuku continued to consume his soup while observing how you and Tsumugi were practically worshipping the soup. He decided to ignore the eerie feeling building in the pit of his stomach gnawing at him alive.
Maybe it was just the soup.
-
Friday.
"Hurry up. We don't have all day."
"Gee, you don't have to be so mean about it!"
"I told you to make it quick. We have to get back in town because we have another meeting to attend to."
You and Sakyo just got out of a business meeting outside of Veludo Way. It was regarding a sponsorship for the Autumn Troupe's next play. Sakyo, the greatest cheapskate and money-pinching Sakyo, was more than willing to accompany you to the next town over if it meant saving the company tens of thousands worth of yen. As long as it involved finances, the blond always needed to be a part of it.
"I know that, but we need to grab lunch before we head to the next meeting. It's bad to miss out on meals, you know! Come on, we'll just grab something from this store and rush back to Veludo Way."
Sakyo sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, but you did have a point. He was also feeling the hunger starting to rise inside of him. It was already lunchtime by the time you guys finished with the first meeting of the day, and he didn't really have a proper breakfast earlier.
You walked into this quaint little restaurant on the side of the road owned by a lovely old couple.
"Good afternoon, may I help you with anything?" The old lady asked warmly.
You felt your heart soften, "Is it possible to get two yakiniku bento boxes to go?"
She smiled, "Of course, dearie. They'll be right out."
"She seems nice!" You whispered to Sakyo, who was sitting across from you.
"She reminds me of you."
"Eh? Don't tell me I'm already aging! I don't wanna be like you yet!"
"I can and will leave you here."
"Eh, but seriously, how?"
Sakyo sighed exasperatedly. "She... sounds nice. Lovely, even. She just has a nice smile and it reminds me of how nice you are when you talk to other people."
"S-Sakyo, is that really you? Who are you? Are you an alien? How are you being so honest right now?"
"I'm going back to Veludo Way without you.
"Hey, I'm kidding!" You pouted.
"Two yakiniku bento boxes to go?" An old man, presumably the husband of the lady they talked to, walked over to you two and handed you the bag of bento boxes.
"Ah, thank you!" You bowed before taking the bag from his hands. You took your wallet out to pay, but Sakyo already left money in the box where you put your payment.
"Hey, I can-"
"Consider it my treat. You'll be working hard today, after all." For a brief second, he gave you a warm smile. However, it was quickly replaced by his usual scowl. "Now hurry up and let's go."
"Geez, I was just about to call you cute as well!
"I am not cute, _____."
As you two were walking out of the restaurant, the old couple gave you a fond smile.
"We were like that too when we were younger."
"Mhm. They look good together, don't you think?"
When you got back to the car, you began to snack on the onigiri part of your bento. You didn't notice how Sakyo's eyes were glaring daggers into the figure who was idly sitting on his motorcycle just a good few meters away from the car.
The figure was wearing a denim jacket and a black helmet, but he could see a few tufts of brown hair sticking out from above the nape of his neck.
His hand grasped the steering wheel in a tight grip until his knuckles turned pale. What was he feeling? Anxiety? Hostility?
The sensation of being... followed?
His mind was racing at the thought, but he decided to rid the negativity filling his consciousness to the brim.
"Sakyo, here's your onigiri." Your voice snapped him out of his daze, and he shot you a small smile.
"Thanks. Let's head back to town now."
"Mhm!"
Seeing the pure innocence, joy, and trust in your smile made him content. He wanted to protect you and your smile forever.
If only he could.
-
Saturday.
You woke up earlier than usual because you promised Itaru that you'd go with him to the game store down the street since today was the release day of the new game he'd been itching to buy.
You sat up to stretch and noticed that Omi was in your room.
"Gah!" You gasped, pulling the sheets up to cover yourself. "Omi?!"
He gave you a warm smile, "Oh, good morning! You're finally up. Sorry for barging in like this, I just wanted to call you over for breakfast."
"Th-Thanks for waking me up but um, do you mind? I'm still kinda in my nightwear." You blushed, knowing that your bra was still unhooked.
Omi's eyes darkened for a brief moment, but it was gone as soon as he blinked. It was replaced by the usual hazel eyes that gave you the warmest and kindest looks.
"I'm sorry! I'll be waiting for you outside." He then left your room, shutting the door behind him without making a sound.
"Jeez, Omi." You muttered to yourself. You quickly hooked your bra together then changed into a more decent t-shirt, appropriate enough for the other boys in the company to see you without being flustered or bewildered out of their minds. Seriously, Azami acts as if he's never seen a girl's shoulders before, what's up with that?
You tied your hair in a ponytail and went out of your room to head over to the kitchen where a bunch of familiar platters were waiting for you.
"Oh, wow, isn't this quite a... variety for breakfast?" You spoke, careful with your words. You always appreciated Omi for making food for the company, but the dishes he served this particular Saturday morning seemed like a mishmash of different food combinations and you just couldn't put your finger on why the food looked and smelled so familiar to you.
"Dig in, my dearest director." He replied, with his back facing you. It seemed as though he was still preparing something by the sink.
You took a seat and viewed the selection he prepared for breakfast.
Curry. Delicious, by the way.
Yakiniku.
Kani Salad.
Egg drop soup.
Crepes.
"Hey, didn't I..." You whispered to yourself, finally realizing that the meals he prepared for you were all meals you've eaten that week.
How did he know? Did the guys tell him about it?
"Well? Aren't you going to eat? You've been enjoying these all week, why not relive the moments one more time? I made sure to prepare them just the way you like them, after all." Omi's voice was laced with something... unknown. Was it possessiveness? He didn't sound like the warm and loving Omi you knew and love.
This Omi was... dangerous. He was terrifying. His back was still facing you, but you could feel a threatening aura from his broad shoulders because of how they looked so stiff.
He turned around and you froze upon seeing his half-lidded eyes. There was a crazed look in his pupils, something that reeked of want, lust, and obsession.
"You had curry with Chikage on Monday. Marshmallow crepes with Juza on Tuesday. Kani Salad with Kumon and Kazunari on Wednesday. Egg drop soup with Tsumugi and Tasuku on Thursday. Then you had a yakiniku bento box with Sakyo yesterday, right?"
Your eyes widened. The boys were pretty aware of the places you went to and who you went there with, but how in the world did Omi know everything?
"Don't worry about it. You don't have to go out with them anymore. I'm the only one who gets to cook for you from now on, okay?" Omi took steps closer to you. You wanted to scream, to run out of the room, to call for help from anyone, but you felt as if you were paralyzed with fear.
This wasn't Omi anymore.
He stopped when he was directly in front of you from across the table, and you could see his thin lips twist into a sadistic smile.
"Dig in, my precious director."
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I posted 4.155 times in 2021
1562 posts created (38%)
2593 posts reblogged (62%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 1.7 posts.
I added 6.459 tags in 2021
#oh look i have a queue - 1474 posts
#art - 1055 posts
#mcu - 957 posts
#spn - 879 posts
#stucky - 635 posts
#blabbering me - 391 posts
#goodnight - 328 posts
#nice - 282 posts
#beautiful human puppy - 252 posts
#anon - 206 posts
Longest Tag: 140 characters
#last night my mom was like 'look the sky is not completely dark yet!' (it was late) 'eh these are the longest days of the year after all :)'
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
Well, Jensen manages to talk without saying anything. He’s good.
675 notes • Posted 2021-03-07 22:29:45 GMT
#4
did someone show the new fans the crypt scene gag reel part
681 notes • Posted 2021-07-01 13:32:50 GMT
#3
They hired a LGBT specialist at Chaos Machine and the first thing they do is to piss off Jared Padalecki and his fanbase of stans and J2 tinhatters. An immediate win for gay rights
2059 notes • Posted 2021-06-25 12:57:46 GMT
#2
“Supernatural is bad” “Supernatural is good” they’re absolutely meaningless assertions. Supernatural is highly enticing. You start watching and you’re lured in. Is it bad? Yes and no. Is is good? Yes and no. Is it somehow extremely appealing and addictive? Yes.
3194 notes • Posted 2021-03-13 18:15:58 GMT
#1
The thing about Supernatural and Good Omens is that they’re completely different kinds of storytelling and definitely different experiences. You watch Good Omens in a couple afternoons and you enjoy it very much, maybe you watch it again a few other times, maybe consume or even produce some fanworks. You inject Supernatural into your bloodstream and it does to you what anti-vaxxers and conspiracy theorist think that vaccines or 5G do to you
5992 notes • Posted 2021-07-04 10:04:53 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
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phynali · 3 years
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so not to ruminate on things that vex me, but the past 2 or so months have been kinda shit, and i’m trucking along and there absolutely are high points and good things and joys that balance some of this out, but i need to vent out some of the negative emotions somewhere to get ‘em out. so i guess i’m doing that here because - 
we’re in lockdown#6 where i live (state of victoria) and it’s hard, this yo-yo of restrictions and swinging in and out of one lockdown after another. 
for those who understandably won’t know, what we call lockdown here means not just restaurant and commercial closures and mandatory working from home unless you’re in an industry where that’s impossible -- it also means no guests (0) inside you’re home unless you’re both living alone and single or else romantic partners, it means not leaving your home at all except for one of 4-5 necessary reasons, not being outside for more than 2hrs per day even to exercise, and not going more than 5km from your home unless required for work/medical/etc required reasons.
it’s intense. we spent (i think) 128 days in this degree of lockdown in 2020, never mind how many we spent in other forms of restrictions and working from home. and we’ve been back in it four (4) times in 2021 already. in-out-in-out-in-out - 
it’s taking a toll on the mental health of every person i know. we get weekly emails with wellbeing and resilience tips from my job -- not just “be productive or else” capitalism but heartfelt ones from wellbeing officers with copies of articles like this one on languishing from the NYT, acknowledging we’re all struggling and directing us to the plethora of wellbeing resources our workplace is trying to provide, not only to us but reminding us they offer it to our families too.
i’m one of the lucky ones. i’m really not trying to wallow here or to pretend otherwise. i appreciate that i can work from home, even though i can’t focus when i do and it this interacts with my adhd to fuck my productivity. even if i’m so behind and delayed it feels like i’ve lost 12-18 months worth of work and it will have long-term ramifications on my career -- even so, i still i have a job. i still get paid. and i even kept my job, a bit by the skin of my teeth but i did, when my sector downsized last year. yes, the way my employer went about lay offs left a bad taste in everyone’s mouth (my own included), but i made it through. 
and my sector, while affected, is by no means the worst of the collateral damage.
the yo-yo of lockdowns is taking a very very real toll on industries like hospitality, tourism, commerce. and the economy does have indirect effects on health and mental health as well. my friend, a waitress, was on her way to work the evening shift at a restaurant when she got the call about the latest lockdown. she had to turn around and go home because the announcement came just hours before the lockdown was imposed, and every place suddenly had to close by 8pm. bye bye evening shift. so much of the government support for these industries has dried up, has been inadequate. 
lockdowns save lives. i don’t begrudge my state for imposing one except that yes -- i’m resentful we’re here again with only six cases. i can be both accepting and grateful and also pissed and tired and more all at once. 
even more than the latest lockdown, i’m pissed about the yo-yo. that we went into lockdown in june, came out in july, went back in in july, came back out in july, are going back in now, in the first week of august. three lockdown/re-openings in 10 weeks, as if this rollercoaster doesn’t completely incapacitate our ability to plan or prepare for anything more than a week out, more than a day out -- in this case, more than a few hours out. 4pm the lockdown was announced, with an 8pm start time. as if that doesn’t have more insidious consequences on individuals and industries than a more clearly articulated and consistent approach. as if all the restaurants that got to open up this week didn’t purchase large food orders for this weekend that will spoil because they were given 4 hours notice to close their doors.
that’s the part i hate, right now more than the lockdowns themselves. consumer sentiment was at a high in april, optimism was everywhere. people felt good, and like we had a plan forward. now -- well, now my job is sending me emails about how normal and okay it is that i might be ‘languishing’ because aren’t we all?
and i absolutely do begrudge my federal government, and i’m angry with them, and this is part of why:
youtube
but i also accept, to some extent, that these decisions have all been made in difficult circumstances, and i’m not really about to pretend i could do any better. 
at the same time, australia’s vaccine rollout is among the slowest and lowest at least within OECD countries. i know that’s partly because we’ve managed the keep cases low and therefore we are prioritized less when it comes to who needs the vaccines most (and thus who is earlier in line to be able to purchase) among other geo-political reasons i won’t get into, but it still very much sucks. our timeline and ability to move forward and ability to stop having lockdowns requires a mostly-vaccinated population, and that’s not something we’ll have anytime soon.
and i am a visa-holder here and my family is back in canada and with our current border restrictions leaving to visit is honestly is not an option because i wouldn’t be able to return, to work. i’m managing that distance okay most of the time despite my homesickness and frustration but my partner’s parents are older and his mother’s health just isn’t amazing and it’s weighing on him a lot. 
a phd student i work with just had a parent die in another country while stuck here, had to drop everything to return, is devastated by not being by their parent’s side when it happened because it came on sudden, and now won’t be able to come back into australia after, will have to finish their thesis remotely from abroad. stories like that are becoming commonplace in certain circles, here. this student is not the first or only person i know who has been in that exact situation in the past year.
it’s enraging, and upsetting, and instills a sense of helplessness because -- there’s nothing that can really be done about it. there’s no good answer, but it’s scary to think of what could happen. i know it scares my husband. if his mother’s health suddenly dips -- does he drop everything and leave? how can he not? would i go with him or hold the fort here? what ramifications does that have either way?
right now, we’re in the first stages of getting permanent residency, my job is putting in the nomination, and this is one of those awesome high-points i mentioned. it’s a very much needed sense of security in my career and my future in this country. but while a PR application is pending and under review, you can’t leave the country, even in pre-covid times. it takes months to get the application fully nominated, accepted, then submitted, and months on months to process.
in january 2020 we had agreed that for xmas 2020 we’d return home to canada. obviously the world changed and we quickly determined that wouldn’t be the case. we pushed that plan back to july-aug 2021, then to october 2021, xmas 2021. my partner’s sister asked him last week if we started making plans, booking things for xmas, was calling to check that we’d had our second jabs. he had to explain the situation to her, that we aren’t even eligible for our first vaccine yet, that we aren’t holding out any real hope of visiting, not this year, not until mid-next.
anyway - i’m just. languishing, i guess, if that’s the word for it after all. i know it’s not the same as depression -- i’ve had episodes of that, been treated for it in different ways. this is and feels different, even if there are obvious similarities. whatever to call it, it sucks, and i hate it. and i hate the other lows and anxieties and crap i’ve been dealing with in the past few months as well that didn’t make it into this post about covid. crap with work, with friends, with goddamn car rentals of all stupid things. crap that’s making me anxious and crap that just needs processing. crap that is, ultimately, massively exacerbated because lockdowns turn us into little rats gnawing on the bars of our cages.
and i guess i just needed to talk about it somewhere, to organize my thoughts and free up some headspace (emotion space?) currently being used to hold these thoughts and feelings in place. i kind of hate posting personal crap like this and always get the urge to delete but i also have a hard time organising my thoughts if i don’t write them out with this intent to post. sort of want to go outside and scream at god, sort of want to phone up a friend and yell at him for an hour for being an exhausting ass, sort of want to be alone for a day to curl up under a blanket with a movie that’ll make me cry because raging at the universe is always so much easier when i’m alone and unobserved. but i guess since those aren’t especially kind or feasible i’ll post this instead.
anyway - if you read to the end of this for any reason, i’m not trying to be maudlin, and there’s really no need to respond. it’s just a feelings dump, sucking some of the poison out, not really much different than journalling but i’ve always been better at that online than on paper. 
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thedumpsterqueen · 4 years
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Standards of Performance, Chapter 7: Hangovers and Confrontations
Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6
AO3 Link
I’ve been crazy busy this week, so this one is a bit short, I’m sorry! Thank you for your kind, complimentary, and h*rny thoughts in my messages this week. They truly keep me going. Big shoutout, also, to the few people that have messaged me angry about how long it’s taking Hotch and reader to get together - you had ample warning I was gonna drag this out ;) Final bit of business: there will be no chapter next Friday. I’m going to take the next two weeks to get ahead on writing so I’m not panicking when the content starts to get longer and more ~intense~. I’m sorry for that :( Thank you so much for your continued support, truly. You’re all amazing. Lastly - shoutout to @honeyshores for your advice on this one <3
Summary:  You’re the BAU’s newest intern, desperate to prove yourself amongst an established team of much more experienced profilers. Agent Hotchner, the seemingly infallible team leader, sets strict expectations for your performance. He commands your respect without even trying, but is there something more to your relationship than a simple desire to impress your stony-faced boss?
Chapter Summary: You try to determine whether it's the hangover or Hotch causing more of your headache. 
Words: 2320
Rating: Explicit, 18+. Warnings on AO3.
Pairings: Hotch x Reader, Hotch x You
Your phone’s ringtone blared into your ear, waking you up from a dreamless sleep. Opening it to check the notification, you groaned at the bright light emitting from the screen. Upon seeing it was a text from Hotch, all traces of unconsciousness dissipated, and you sat up in bed, head pounding.
Ok, so you were really fucking hungover.
After Hotch freaked out on you last night and you ditched Cooper, you’d made it your mission to have fun with the rest of the team, which involved you buying everyone many more drinks. It worked - you didn’t leave until 2 am - but you were about to pay the price, because Hotch apparently wanted everyone at the office in 30 minutes. You checked the time.
7:00 am.
If you didn’t know better, you would’ve thought he was doing this on purpose.
You showered and threw on a dress, praying the commute to the BAU would give the 3 ibuprofen currently digesting in your otherwise empty stomach time to work.
  It didn’t - in fact, it just provided ample time for the nausea to set in. But by the haggard looks everyone else was shooting as they settled into the meeting room, they seemed to be in the same boat. 
Garcia, wearing massive sunglasses and laying on the couch in the corner, spoke first. “I threw up in the shower this morning.”
Morgan raised his head out of his crossed arms on the table, probably about to make some quip about Garcia and showers, but seemed to think better of being upright and laid his head back down with a grunt. 
“I feel great,” Reid said with a smile, prompting groans out of everyone, including yourself.
“That’s because you had like, 3 drinks.” JJ said. “And 2 of them were beer.”
“It’s also because I drank an appropriate amount of water. Did you know if you consume 8 ounces of water with each alcoholic drink, you can reduce the incidence of hangovers by-”
“Kid,” Rossi interrupted, taking a break from gulping down a massive mug of coffee. “Know your audience.”
“Everyone here?” Hotch asked, walking in and flicking on the lights, which earned him a collective hiss from the rest of the team. His shock at the reaction quickly turned to faint amusement. “More importantly, is everyone capable of working today without throwing up in a trashcan?”
“I’ll do my best, Sir, but I make no promises,” said Garcia, who definitely looked the worst for wear.
“Well, good, because Internal Affairs requested the Use of Deadly Force reviews early this year.”
Another groan from everyone, with the exception of you, who had no idea what reports he was referring to. As if reading your mind, Hotch turned to you and explained, “Use of Deadly Force reviews are required reports we fill out annually in which we analyze and justify every situation where deadly force was used against a subject. I know you weren’t here for most of these, but you can still help type them up, and it’ll be helpful to go over the cases for your learning.”
You nodded, not thrilled to watch the team dredge up the worst moments of the past year, but thrilled that today’s task didn’t require you to move from your chair. Hotch slid a box of files onto the table, reminded you all that he’d be in his office if you needed anything, and took his leave.
“Doesn’t he have to go over these with us, seeing as…” you trailed off, unsure how to speculate that Hotch was probably the one to take the shot in at least half of these cases.
Morgan knew what you were trying to say. “He goes over them before we submit the reports to Internal Affairs.” He grabbed the top file from the box and grimaced. “The Toelle case, man, remember that one?”
Prentiss sighed and rubbed her temples. “Just when I thought I might get through the day without losing my breakfast.”
  ____________
  You pushed your laptop away and slouched back into your chair. “I need a break.”
It was a miracle you’d made it to this point, honestly - your headache was now raging despite pain relievers, and you’d spent half the day meticulously poring over the actions of some of the BAU’s most gruesome killers. (Prentiss was right - the Toelle file had been enough to make everyone, even Reid, turn a little green).
“You doing alright, kiddo?” Rossi asked, peering over the file he was reading.
“Just hungover. Went a little harder than I expected to, ya know?”
“What happened with Hotch last night?” Reid asked.
“Reid!” JJ admonished. 
Morgan shrugged. “Hey, we’re all thinking it. We saw him drag you outside, then he stormed back in and left. How’d you manage to piss him off so bad?”
“I’m surprised you noticed anything. You were pretty occupied,” Rossi said, raising his eyebrows towards Garcia, who flushed scarlet. 
You laughed and sent a silent thank you to Rossi for taking the heat off of you. 
“He just told me the guy I was dancing with was on coke and that I shouldn’t hang out with him.” You shrugged. “It was weird and I kinda freaked out on him at first, but I guess he was right.”
That didn’t get the nonchalant response you expected - everyone looked just as confused as you were when Hotch had initially approached you.
“Wait, hold on,” Prentiss said, sitting forward. “He told you not to dance with that guy because he was on drugs?”
“Yeah,” you replied, “He said after Garcia got attacked by that one man, everyone on the team needs to be more careful about who they associate with. Is that not… the case…?”
You trailed off, because judging by the looks the rest of the team were exchanging, it definitely wasn’t .
JJ shook her head. “Hotch has never really cared what we do in our private lives unless it affects our job.”
“Yeah, like remember that time you dated Will for a year without telling us and we had to pretend we didn’t know?” Prentiss asked, grinning.
“Or that time you hooked up with the mail guy and you made us sign for your packages for the next month?” Morgan ribbed back at Prentiss.
“I was drunk -”
“I think you should talk to Aaron,” Rossi suggested gently over what was quickly becoming a team debate over who had the craziest love life.
Still reeling over the knowledge that Hotch’s erratic behavior towards you wasn’t merely some standard attempt to keep the team safe, you nodded and stood.
It was time for some answers, god damn it.
  The righteous indignation that spurred you towards Hotch’s office was quickly being replaced by nervousness as you neared. You considered turning back, but you were sure he heard you stomping down the hall, and you weren’t trying to make a habit of awkwardly hesitating outside like you had at his apartment. Despite his door being ajar, you knocked gently, and he looked up from his standard mound of paperwork and nodded. 
“Come in.”
You obliged and sat down across the desk from him, twiddling your fingers. He waited for you to speak, never one to opt out of awkward silence.
“I think we should talk about what happened last night. Sir.”
He cocked his head slightly, setting down his pen and folding his hands in front of him.
“What are you referring to?”
You hated how he did this - it was an interrogation tactic, you knew that. He’d make the subject describe a situation with which both parties were clearly familiar to get their interpretation of events, which was usually very telling. And, more importantly, it made them uncomfortable.
You rolled your eyes. “I’m referring to you pulling me away from the group and telling me not to dance with that guy at the club.”
Hotch sighed and picked his pen back up, scanning his paperwork, making it very clear he felt this conversation wasn’t worth his time. “I explained my reasoning last night. If you take issue with the standards I expect of my team outside of the office-”
“But you don’t,” you blurted out, cutting him off.
“Don’t what?” he asked, now looking at you.
“Don’t expect that of your team,” you explained. “I talked to them about it just now. They said you’ve never acted that way before.”
“Their interpretation of events may be different-”
“It’s not their interpretation,” you interrupted for the second time. “They told me about all their dating escapades and you’ve never made it your business, not once. Why am I different to you?”
You hadn’t intended that last part to come out the way it did, and you cringed at the vulnerability in your tone. He was silent for one, two seconds, and you knew then he was making a decision, that the answer to your question wasn’t the simple truth he’d projected it to be.
“You’re the youngest member of the team, and the least experienced. I feel a responsibility to make sure you don’t make any decisions that you may regret. I’m sorry if you felt I was out of line.”
The detachment in his tone felt like a punch to the gut. Some part of you had been secretly wishing, you supposed, that his actions betrayed something deeper - that you were different to him, and not just because you were young and naive. And when the team had reacted the way they did, you’d gotten your hopes up that it had meant something. Just like him telling you about his past. Just like him killing Matthews. Just like… it didn’t matter . Even if he had been lying just now, it wouldn’t have changed anything. He wasn’t letting you in because he didn’t want to. You’d overestimated your significance in his life, but in reality, you were probably no more than a blip on his radar. Hotch was the sun, the central point to which everyone around him was drawn, and you were a lonely, distant planet that had somehow convinced yourself you were close enough to have gotten burned. 
Choking back undeserved tears, you left his office, fighting the bile that was finally rising from your stomach, realizing that this was about to be the second time in as many days that your feelings for him had made you puke.
  ____________
  When Matthews lunged at you, he hadn’t spared a thought, not a moment for consideration before breaking his neck. He knew, even as he felt the vertebra detach from its seat in the base of the skull, that there had been other paths - not that killing him was unrequited, of course, but it was a last-resort type of action, and Hotch had never been a last-resort type of man. Morgan hadn’t questioned it, not beyond a hushed, “You good?” after the whole thing went down, but he could sense his shock at the fact that Hotch was the one to go straight for lethality.
And your reaction - that was what kept him awake at night. Not killing the suspect; it was a sick truth, but he’d killed far too many people by now to have that same nauseous, horrified reaction he did the first few times. No, it was the way you looked at him afterwards. He’d expected shock, panic - hell, even complete disgust - but you’d looked at him like he was your hero. Like he was good, somehow. And he’d wanted to correct every day since, say, “No, you’ve got me wrong, I’m not what you think I am,” but he hadn’t mustered up the courage. He’d grown to need that look, if he was being honest with himself; needed someone to gaze upon him with the admiration and respect and doe-eyed awe that you did, because sometimes it was the only thing that kept him from going home alone to his apartment and shattering every mirror in the fucking place so he didn’t have to look at his reflection.
So when you’d asked him - all flushed face and halting words and twisting fingers - why he’d acted the way he did, he couldn’t be truthful with you. He’d answered with what should’ve been the truth, because he couldn’t tell you that he’d wanted to kick that boy’s teeth in from the minute he saw him touch you for daring to defile something so innocent and pure and good, even if you’d wanted it. Especially if you’d wanted it, if he was being honest with himself.
This was all twisted, of course. There were a million ways to profile a man in his 50’s who thought the way he did about someone your age (not to mention his employee, for fuck’s sake), none of them good. He’d deserved the raised eyebrow Rossi gave him before he stalked off to drag you from the dancefloor, and he’d more than deserved the constant, chiding internal voice scolding him whenever he paid too much attention to you, asked you an easy question just so he could see you light up at knowing the answer, divulged information he hadn’t talked about with anyone in years.
He saw how much his words affected you. You’d tried to hide it, but you were so endearingly bad at masking your feelings, and even though his stomach twisted to see you crushed, he felt a twinge of hope knowing you’d wanted a different answer. He could’ve given you one that would have made you happier:
“You’re important to me.”
“I was worried about you.”
Even, “I wanted to spend time with you last night, instead.”
But those were all too adjacent to a truth that he starkly refused to consider.
So he let you down, because letting people down was something with which Aaron Hotchner had plenty of goddamn practice. 
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