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bamatrxnsplant · 2 years

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On Creeps

I have posted quite often on Twitter that I'm tired, but I don't feel I've had the space to do it in a way that fully expresses why. That's because a limited number of characters does not allow me to express the nuance of how "creeps" exist in the Twitter space, and I have spent a lot of time carefully avoiding conflict. The problem is, never saying anything has done nothing to stop dealing with creeps except make me feel I can't speak because it's too late, too hard, or too delicate. In real life, it's different. It's easier to hear how a leer makes it into a person's voice. You can feel eyes on you in person in a way you cannot on Twitter.

We all know the creeps that are easily packaged as creeps. As you'll see going around, don't retweet selfies, don't DM women who don't want you to, and don't assume someone's comfort with their sexuality allows you to say anything you want in their replies. All of us can open our DM request folder, and there will be unsolicited pictures of penises, blunt statements of what part of your body a stranger wants to see, a good morning from someone you've never heard of, or, my personal favorite, insults when their advances are ignored. Sometimes all of these are left in a public space, and your friends can be alerted too.

Those creeps can be blocked, and you can move on. Their offenses can be screenshotted, and you can objectively show why you dislike that person. A more nuanced group of men who reply to everything can be more difficult to navigate, oft referred to as reply guys. Maybe it's only your selfies, maybe they've committed to every post, but they'll have something to say. That in and of itself seems harmless. There is an energy that differentiates a reply guy from a guy who replies, one that I can even sense, and I don't know people are my friends unless they explicitly say it. You start to realize a reply guy has created a narrative, and your silence only gives them more space to decide your intent. Maybe you thanked them for compliments at first and interacted, but then you stopped.

They don’t. And this sounds like such a non-issue. Someone compliments you a lot? Engages a lot? It’s something more. It’s overtly sexual flirting. It’s flirting with increased intimacy. It’s being uncomfortable because you know they have post notifications on. It’s going to their profile and realizing they exclusively interact with women who look like you. It’s realizing they only retweet porn of people who look like you.

These are easy to block, too, until they aren’t. This group could be members of your circle. If you block that guy that came to that one game night, will you have to hear about it? They’re prominent in your fan community, so could it impact your ability to participate? That’s when there are whispers. “I don’t want to cause any issue,” it’s always couched because you know what can happen if your discomfort gets back to someone who could just not flirt with you. “I don’t get a good feeling from him.” Relief when they say, “I thought it was just me that was creeped out.”

You can befriend women as a man on Twitter. If I were to name the friends I have made on Twitter, half to more than half of them are men. This isn’t an every man is creeping on you post. I know when someone is replying with compliments repeatedly because they on some level, conscious or not, think enough kindness tokens get them sex and when they’re just friendly. I know which men I can go to and say, “Hey, I’m uncomfortable with you/your friend/that one guy,” and have them listen.

I have male friends from Twitter. I have formed friendships that went from platonic to sexual on Twitter. I have formed friendships that went from platonic to a safe flirtation. I have had friendships turn romantic from Twitter. That’s because these men ensured interest was reciprocated. They treated me like a person with my own autonomy. I was not a girl they had painted into a box she is much too large for. For them, I am thankful.

That said, I also know which man said I should be led astray in our first Twitter interaction, continuing on with little to no response until I felt I had to get another man to stand with me at an event so he’d leave me alone, seemingly because another man had dibs. He proceeded to glare at me through the event enough that a friend pointed it out, and I didn’t feel comfortable saying anything for fear of blowback.

I know which man let me think we were platonic friends until I promised him he wasn’t one of those reply guys. Then in a Zoom, he created an environment that made me feel I had to leave long enough to change clothes in the hopes he’d stop being a creep under a veil of anonymity. The questions were anonymous, but watching him type them and reference the group conversation was not.

I know which men heard me say, “I’m flattered but not interested,” and sent a barrage of insults in return.

I know which men I did not know who read my post about my discomfort and immediately DMed me offering drinks and dates and compliments to make me feel less objectified and undervalued.

I know which men make me feel I need a spreadsheet of people to watch out for because I don’t know if I’m crazy until it’s mentioned by friends since so many tweets seem to go missing when you stop speaking to a person. It’s almost like they know they did something wrong.

I know which men will either read this and out themselves by saying, “I never…” or “I was only trying…” or, another favorite, “you’re an ugly bitch anyway.” If you are feeling attacked, I encourage you to evaluate your interactions. And if you feel attacked and regularly have a back-and-forth with me, you are not the problem.

And most upsetting, I know which men I cannot share discomforts with because they won't care what someone else is doing because they "don't seem creepy."

I am tired. I am very, very tired. I am tired of the fact that I am comfortable in my skin, with my sexuality, and with my flirtatiousness. I am not comfortable with men who mistake any of these things as directed at them in particular. That they are somehow special. I do not want your feedback if you do not understand how to recognize the gulf between stranger on the internet and a friend I flirt with. If you see me engaging in a certain way with a friend and not you, consider that it is because I do not know you. I will let you know if I decide I want to. And if you treat me with kindness and respect, like you would another man, that may happen.

#writing #twitter #blog #creeps #feminism

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footballfanfictions · 3 years

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The thrill of the chase - Chapter One

Pairings: Mason Mount/OC, Ben Chilwell/OC

Warnings: None for now but you know me, I like a little smut here and there...

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"If I have to edit and upload one more post about golden boy, I'm going to scream" I groaned, rubbing my temples. It's not even 10am on Monday morning and I already want to quit my job.

Brianna is sat on a chair, flipping through a magazine opposite my desk, and although her job doesn't require her to be in an office, she spends most of her time here.

"At least your job involves more than just washing and folding sweaty socks with your dad." She mused.

I rolled my eyes at her. She didn't quite get how annoying it is to be a graphic designer and social media manager that is only given the same images to work with over and over. My eyes flick back to my computer screen and the grinning Male on it. He isn't completely unattractive but him being a footballer and what all the praise he has been getting lately must be doing to his ego was enough to put me off. I would go as far as to say I disliked the guy.

"So if you don't like Mason, who do you watch from this window?" Bri was suddenly up on her feet and standing at my office window. It was floor to ceiling and had a good view of the training complex and sliding door access. The office had used to belong to Jose Mourinho both times he had been the manager here, shunning the actual managers office for one where he could see the pitches clearer. The first team trained about 5ft from where she was standing and if one of them were to look up from their drills they would see her staring out at them.

I pulled her away from the window by her arm.

"I don't sit here looking out of the window all the time, I have a job to do"

Occasionally, if I was on a particularly boring phone call I would let my eyes wander over to the window just to see what they were up to, but never watched any one player in particular. I didn't even know who some of the new faces were.

"Personally I think all the ones around our age are really hot -" Bri then started listing the names off and it sounded like she named the entire 23 man squad by the time she was finished.

We were then interrupted by a knock on my office door and Bri's father Dave stuck his head round it and said "sorry to interrupt girls but Bri and I have some kits to organise." He looked more amused than angry, being pretty used to his daughter avoiding her duties by now. "You wouldn't mind bringing us two of those fancy coffees of yours would you Katie?" He asked.

One of the other perks of having Jose's old office was the coffee machine. He had it installed and compared to the muck that came out of the cafeteria's coffee machines, it produced gold.

"Will do." I replied as Bri scurried over to her father and out of the door.

I decided coffee delivery was a good way to get out of having to stare at all the social media channels for a few minutes.

Once the coffees were made I tipped them from the plastic cups into two mugs from the cupboard beneath the machine, it felt nicer to take them to my friend and her dad that way.

It was tricky negotiating opening my office door with each hand occupied by a steaming hot mug, but I managed to nudge it open with a combination of my elbow and the heel of my shoe. I was just praising myself internally for getting the door open when something knocked into the side of me, tipping the contents of the mug into my right hand over whatever it had been.

"Oh shit, I'm so sorry."

I looked up from the hallway carpet which I was worried was stained with coffee, into the smiling face of someone wearing a training kit.

"No that was me, shit sorry. Have I just poured boiling hot coffee all over the star striker or something? Marina will kill me." I put both of the mugs down on the floor and ran back into my office, coming back out a few seconds later with a wad of tissues. I tried to dab the stain on his top with the tissues but they were pretty useless and he knew it too because he put his hand over mine to stop me.

"Don't worry about it love, I'm not star striker, I'm just the left back."

He didn’t seem mad about having coffee thrown all over him. Being a footballer I was half expecting him to throw a fit and go all ‘do you know who I am?’. But he didn’t. Instead, he gave me the nicest smile.

“Please let me get you another training shirt at least? I was just heading to the kit room with the coffees.” I balled up the wad of tissues and put them in the bin in the hallway just to the side of us and picked the mug that I hadn’t dropped back up. Brianna would have to go without and it served her right really for avoiding her job for most of the morning.

“Alright then.” He agreed. “Lead the way, I haven’t been here long, so not sure where to go if I’m honest.”

“Oh right yeah, of course.” I pretended like I knew who he was and that he had only just signed, unsure of whether he could actually tell that I had no idea. He probably did know that as I asked if he was the star striker, when in fact he’s a left back.

He followed me silently down the corridor to the kit room. I knocked once before entering.

“Is that you Katie?” Dave called from inside.

“No, it’s Starbucks” I laughed.

He opened the door, a pair of socks slung over his shoulder.

“Cheers love, come in.” He said.

I looked back at the footballer behind me and gestured for him to follow.

“I had a bit of an accident on the way here Dave and ended up pouring Brianna’s all over…” I was about to ask his name when Dave cut me off.

“Ben Chilwell! I was so chuffed that you’d signed. It’s about time we got an English core to this team back. God Katie did do a number on your shirt didn’t she?” he laughed, clapping Ben on the back, before he went over to a stack of the blue and white training tops.

Ben. Yeah he looked like a Ben. Undeniably he was quite handsome. I saw Brianna out of the corner of my eye, she was sat gawping at him with her mouth half open.

I tried to gesture to Brianna that she needed to put her tongue back in her mouth. She seemed to get the hit and straightened the way she was sat, playing it cool. I tried not to laugh.

Dave passed Ben a fresh shirt, and I got a whiff of the freshly laundered scent as it passed in front of me.

“Thank you so much.” Ben said, accepting the new shirt gratefully. “I’ll try my best to watch where I’m going in the future.”

He gave us all a smile and apologetically said that he needed to get back to training before he left the kit room.

“Blimey!” Brianna sighed once he was gone.

“What?” I asked.

“Sorry that you have to hear this dad, but bloody hell he was fit. I’m disappointed that he didn’t want to change here.” we both started laughing and Dave shook his head, muttering a ‘you two’ under his breath before going back to matching the socks up.

“I’m going to go too, do you want to get lunch later Bri?” I asked, hoping that she would want to walk to the shops with me. I needed a few things and I wouldn’t have much time after work to go.

“Only if we’re getting it here because I want to be in the canteen when they all come in from training.” she was gazing toward the tiny window in the kit room dreamily as she spoke.

I rolled my eyes but agreed.

I spent the walk back to my office wondering if Ben Chilwell actually was as fit as Brianna was making him out to be.

Sitting back down at my desk, I logged back into my computer. I had new emails sat in the inbox. One of them happened to be pictures of the new players for me to edit. I had an edit of every player in the team that I had ready for match days. On a match day I would be in charge of adding time stamps for any goals and then uploading the goal scorer’s picture. Recently, more often than not I had been having to upload the same few pictures of Mason Mount and it was getting a bit boring. The fans loved it though, he was our most retweeted player and often I would read the social media comments, all singing his praises. Especially the young women.

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By the time it got to lunchtime I was sick of photoshop. My program wasn’t running very smoothly, probably in need of an update and I had grown more and more frustrated as the morning went on, having to restart it twice.

Brianna came to my office just before 1 and waited for me to finish off my last edit and lock my computer.

“Good morning?” she asked. “Because no offence you look mega stressed and we don’t need that kind of vibe if we are going to be around fit footballers for the next hour.”

I wanted to eye roll for the millionth time but I cut her some slack. She had recently had a really bad break up and her ex had been a proper bellend. Unfortunately for Bri, she didn’t have the greatest amount of luck when it came to guys. Her ex had broken up with her for another girl and had then continued to hook up with Bri, who had stupidly let him until I had convinced her what a bad idea that was. She was clearly feeling really lonely.

“Someone will come along you know, it doesn’t have to be a footballer.” I said, putting my hand on her arm and squeezing reassuringly.

“But Liam supports Chelsea, so how mad would he be if I got off with one of his favourite players? He’d be begging me to take him back then.” she smirked.

“That’s not what you want though right? To get back with him I mean.” I opened the door and we started to walk down the hallway towards the canteen while we chatted.

“No, I just want him to feel the sting of rejection and know how it feels for once.” she shrugged.

When we reached the door to the canteen there was a young lad with mousey brown hair kind of hanging around. His face lit up at the sight of us and I was slightly taken aback by it.

“After you.” He said, opening the door for us. He had a really strong Scottish accent that I hadn’t heard before. I guessed he must be part of the youth team. He’d probably end up out on loan after loan and we’d never see him again.

“That was strange.” I mumbled to Bri.

She shrugged, walking over to the back of the queue to get food. I followed her and grabbed a tray for myself.

I reached into the chilled drinks cabinet and picked out an iced coffee placing it on my tray.

“Glad to see that isn’t a hot coffee!”

Turning my head to the side, I saw that it was Ben again, standing behind me in the queue and then just behind him, my favourite person of all, Mason Mount.

“Yeah I’m on a final warning about spilling hot drinks over footballers so I’m only allowed cold coffees from now on”. I joked.

“I’m sure Benj will keep you warm in the winter.” Mason piped up.

I tried not to curse under my breath that he was butting into our conversation.

“Mate.” Ben said to Mason, shaking his head.

“What? she is fitter than you said.” Mason bantered back, looking at me rather than Ben.

“Thanks but I don’t need validation from you.” I bantered back, before moving along to the next chiller and picking out a caesar salad and an apple.

I heard the word “feisty” from behind me, but couldn’t tell which one of them had said it as I caught Brianna up in the queue.

She gave me a puzzled look and I shrugged, simply mouthing the word ‘boys’.

As employees we didn’t have to pay for any of our food which was a nice perk of the job and saved me a lot of money in eating out and packed lunches.

We took our food over to one of the tables that we usually sat at whenever we used the canteen and we were joined as usual by some of the other members of support staff.

Brianna was filling them in on my mishap with the coffee that morning while I scrolled through twitter on my phone. I liked to check how our social media platforms looked from the perspective fo the intended audience.

“You’re such a workaholic” Bri scolded me.

I looked up and apologised, tucking my phone away into my pocket.

“You two are polar opposites” Jane, one of the physios said. “I do agree with Brianna to an extent about some of the new faces. If I were a few years younger…”

Jane was a bit like our work mother. She was in her mid 50s and happily married with two teenage boys of her own to contend with. Because she had never had any daughters, she took particular care of me and Bri and loved to join in with our girl talk.

“I don’t think it would be worth the hassle personally” I shrugged.

Jane grinned. “You’re so sensible Katie, and probably right. Young men with too much fame and money probably don’t make the best partners. I tried to say that about my Martin too, back in the day. He was in the army and you know what they say about them!”

We both looked at her waiting for her to give us the answer.

“You know, a girl in every base town.” she laughed. “I tamed him though. Maybe don’t write them off completely.”

I wasn’t sure that I wanted to attempt to find a partner at all. I had been single since things that fallen apart with my ex when we both left uni. At uni we had a lot more time for each other, despite the different schedules and studying. When I had started working for Chelsea I put everything that I had into my job, desperately wanting to make a good impression. Hundreds of people had applied for the position and I wanted to make them feel like they had made the right choice in hiring me. So long days in the office turned into long days and evenings in the office, especially when Chelsea had late kick offs. I just found it easier to be in my office with the radio commentary on, sending out the tweets as the goals went in.

“Katie, are you listening? You zoned out a bit again.” Jane said, waving her hand in front of my face.

“Sorry just thinking about my to do list” I mumbled, trying not to admit to them that I had been thinking about Rory again. Sometimes it isn’t the person that you miss, just the feeling of having someone.

“I was just making you aware that are three young men constantly looking over here.” she said, trying to keep her voice low.

I was curious so I looked, there were a few of them sat at the furthest table, but none of them were looking in our direction.

“Who?” I asked.

“Oh I don’t know the names, I just deal with the injuries.” she shrugged.

“Well that’s helpful then” Bri said, pouting. “I wanted to know which ones fancied me so that I could target my flirting.”

———————————————————————————————————

Ben

“Go and talk to her.” Mason encouraged me.

I shook my head, trying to focus on eating my food, although I hadn’t really been able to. I had just been using my fork to move it around my plate aimlessly.

“No.” I mumbled. “I barely even know the girl. She spilt her coffee on me then got me another training shirt.”

“Oh yeah.” Mason smirked. “Did she help you put it on too?”

“She got you a new training shirt?” It was Billy that spoke now. He looked really nervous and was pretty much doing the same as me, forking his food around rather than actually eating it.

“Yeah from that room with all the kits in” I responded.

“Oh.” he said quietly, looking down.

I caught on then. Billy had been ahead of us coming off the training pitch and I had seen him wait and then open the door for the girls with a big grin on his face. I had thought he was just being polite, but I now realised it was more than that. He had waited on purpose and obviously liked one of them.

“It was the brunette one. The little blonde was in the room too but it wasn’t here that me and Mase were talking about” as I explained I watched Billy brighten back up again. It was the other one that he fancied, not Katie, and for some reason I was relieved.

Mason caught on then too.

“Hang on, do you like that one or something? The kit man’s daughter?” Mason asked him.

He had raised his voice a bit in excitement so I gestured for him to speak quieter.

“Yeah only for the last few years, you know.” Billy responded, blushing a bit.

Mason would probably take the piss out of him for the rest of the afternoon and god forbid if Tammy or Jorginho found out, poor Billy would absolutely never hear the end of it.

“Have you ever tried to tell her?” I asked him.

“Only once, but I chickened out because I heard she had a fella” he shrugged.

“When was that?” I pressed.

“Couple of years ago, but then I kept being sent out on loan so couldnae’ really have asked her out any way” he sighed and put his fork down at the side of his plate.

I decided then that I was going to make it my mission to get Billy to ask that girl out. The worst she could say was no and he wouldn’t be any worse off than he was now. I could even use it to my advantage and casually speak to Katie about the two of them.

I looked over at her table again, she looked a little sad.

I had promised myself that I would focus on my career for a bit and not get involved with any girls for a bit, but here I was on day bloody one simping over a girl I’d only just met. I cursed myself for it.

#ben chilwell #mason mount #football fanfiction #football fanfic #billy gilmour

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realbigpodcastslut · 4 years

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Should You Listen to King Falls AM?

(Update at the bottom)

Lately, I’ve seen a lot people looking to start KFAM and conflicting views on if you should listen. Being a fan for a long time, I’d like to put in my two-cents. I’m not going to tell you if you should listen or not, but I’ll present the facts so you can make your own choice.

Overall:

King Falls AM is a podcast, and out of the hundred+ I’ve listened to, it is definitely my favorite one and I always seem to be relistening to it. Taking place in the small town of King Falls, late-night radio hosts Sammy and Ben have to tackle the weird and whacky. It’s funny, the characters are amazing, and I just love the overall idea of love (platonic and romantic) conquering all. The music is also amazing. While the background music is to die for, this is really shown in their musical episode (which is done right).

Now, while it is my favorite podcast, there are a lot of faults. Representation is mishandled, there are problematic parts, and the creators and actors have had some not-so-great reactions to valid criticism. Also, the story is unfinished and there is no word if they’re coming back after COVID-19.

Characters:

I can’t deny, I love the characters (especially Lily Wright). The characters will worm their way into your heart until you fall in-love. Whether it’s the main characters of Sammy, Ben, (Emily, Troy, and Lily), or the townspeople, you’ll most likely end up loving them. And if you don’t love them, then you will hate them so much you love hating them. I’m going to avoid spoilers, but you will love these characters and feel for them. Even I, the stone-cold bitch that brags about not crying that much over media, ended up crying over them.

On the other hand, the characters are not the stellar representation that a lot of podcasts have. There are plenty of LGBT characters later on, but a lot of them are stereotypes. Archie, a gay man, is overly camp, and Jacob, a bisexual man, is sex-crazed. Though, I should point out that almost every non-main character is a stereotype, but this can be off-putting to a lot of people. Women are also not represented great. They’re pretty one-dimensional and while they grow, they’re sort of looked-down upon and hated. This changes around episode 90 where it is specifically called out on and episodes 75+ start to change this poor representation somewhat. Though the representation of POC is just bad, with Walt being a stereotypical Native American man and Storm Sanders an alcoholic. There is also a racist witch, while hated by everyone, is still suspicious.

Comedy:

King Falls AM is also extremely funny. There are several jokes they actually made me laugh out loud (hard to do) and in my relistens I still laugh. The character’s banter is hilarious and I just can’t state how funny some of the stuff is. While some stuff aren’t direct jokes, the absurdity of events are funny. For example, there is a vigilante named the Dirt who is basically a dimestore Batman in BDSM gear. Another thing is that there is a murderous Elf of the Shelf that says some things that are comedy gold. Even later on, they don’t sacrifice much of the comedy for arcs that will tear your heart out.

While the jokes are funny, there are many jokes that miss the mark and are not politically correct. One that sticks out is “Don’t assume my gender.” There are a lot of race jokes (ew) and quite a few on the holocaust. There are also a lot of gay jokes, which while sometimes done right, can make LGBT people uncomfortable. Especially when two characters (Archie and Lily) are made out to be too gay to function and make a lot of sexual jokes. This missing-the-mark is made clear as it is written by straight white men, which really can’t joke about stuff they don’t experience.

Themes:

The themes of KFAM are also good and you can’t ever go wrong with found-family. Love is the main aspect surrounding the show and whether platonic or romantic love, it’s embraced. I really enjoy how Sammy and Ben are able to say “I love you” to each other without it being seen as creepy or “gay.” Characters also grow for the better and are always pushing to be better. They even talk about mental health struggles and pushing each other up to be the best they can be. Lastly, the main storyline is compelling and it opens up for a lot of theorizing and trying to figure out what is going to happen (or what happened).

The themes of found family can be criticized over the fact that several characters already experienced found family due to being gay and already being a family, though I think this one is a little weak (but I included it). Some of the storylines may get boring and it can be a sort of slow-burn as things come to fruition. There are also plot holes (but not that noticeable).

Creators, Actors and Community:

This is the final point and the thing that has made many die-hard fans dislike KFAM and be ashamed for listening to it. Starting at episode 34, there was an episode on Helen Keller and it was essentially making fun of her. Obviously, fans did not like this episode and told the creators so. They did not apologize and basically said, “Sorry you didn’t like it.” Around April or March of 2020, one of the creators retweeted NSFW fan works and people told them how they needed to tag it, etc. They reacted poorly, only for a person to say “Death of the Author” (a literary idea where you ignore the author’s influence on a work), and then the creator freaked out, thinking this was a death threat. These were not the only events, so if you’d like to find out more, I have archived (with my friend) a decent amount on the blog @kfam-tea.

The community is also toxic. There have been a lot of times where die-hard fans will delete any criticism from the subreddit (though this has seemed to stop). These fans also started “attacking” WTNV after Cecil Baldwin (voice of Cecil) made a jab at other radio podcasts. The discord server is also closed off from everyone except those already on it, and they’ve deleted a lot of channels and such. Overall, the community is not the best and it’s quite divided.

Lastly, we don’t know if KFAM is coming back. While they said it was going to start after COVID-19, there’s reason to believe that isn’t the case. The creators unfollowed each other on Instagram and Twitter. There was a Reddit threat where people asked if it was coming back only for Kyle (co-creator) to call them entitled (yikes, I know). So far, there is another podcast made by everyone but Kyle and Trent (the actor for about half of the town).

Conclusion:

The choice to listen is up to you. You may or may not like it, but I’m not going to say this is strictly a terrible or amazing podcast. I think it is both. I fell in love with the story and while it has many, many, terrible warts, I think people should know what they are heading into. I see too many people either praising or hating KFAM completely, and it’s not fair. This story isn’t for everyone and has it’s bad moments, but it also has it’s wonderful moments. To listen, that is a personal decision for you to make.

UPDATE:

KFAM isn’t coming back and it left on a big cliffhanger so maybe don’t listen.

#kfam #king falls am #king falls #essay #long post #sammy stevens #Ben Arnold #kfam podcast #podcast #audio drama #i think this was needed for the community #i myself struggle with both enjoying this show and its warts #but i don't just want to tell people no #because if i hadn't listened then i would be a different person #this podcast has meant a lot to me personally and i really love it #slut.txt

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queensgaybeach1d · 4 years

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HELLOOO, I just discovered your blog, shame on me. So, I read your masterpost about the stunts in the industry (great work btw) and was wondering how to tell if something is real or purely pr. Would you mind giving me a few pointers ?? Answer however and whenever you can.

Hello Sweetie,

Thank you so much for your lovely words. I would love to help you dig deeper into the PR industry. In fact, I did some research myself and I stumbled upon a great confirmation on how everything works. I think it is just the right fit for you, sweetheart.

Please take your time reading the post and if you have any questions or suggestions, please do not hesitate to ask me. Have a great day and enjoy!

Kisses,

Suman 😊

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How to spot a PR relationship?!

This post is made for everyone who would like to learn how to spot a fake relationship in Hollywood. This information is supported by a very reliable source. The name of the source is Jack Ketsoyan, he set up two PR relationships himself. If you would try to compare this to your favourite Hollywood couple, you might be surprised of the outcome. I wish you all the best while reading this and if you have any questions/suggestions please do not hesitate to ask. Enjoy! :)

This is the link of the podcast about the PR relationships (skip to 5.40). I will make a little summary of the very important things Jack said. There is also another man who is speaking about this subject. His name is Christopher and he is a lawyer who has worked with cases like these for a long time.

(Please note that I am in no way hating on anyone. I have a strong dislike for all ‘’beards’’, but what they do with their lives is their responsibility. Therefore I mean no harm to any of these people. It would be very sad if any of these people would do it because they needed money for their families. If that was the case I would truly feel sorry for them, but the thing is they want to become famous by dating someone else who put his/her hard work in his/her career. That it just not fair. There are plenty of ways to become famous by dedication, hard work and staying yourself.)

I want to give compliments to the lovely @Totallylost4you on twitter. She made me aware of the podcast.

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-’’To hide the artist’s sexuality; boosting of the careers.’’ --> (Louis, Harry, Zayn, Liam and Niall. Also, Kristen Stewart, Cara Delevigne and Taylor Swift) -->

‘’It is more common on the male side than on the female side. There are certain celebrities who were, back in the day, in the closet and it was not okay to be out. We live in a completely different time nowadays, these days being gay is okay. So back in the day that was the biggest secret, it was a big taboo, if a certain high profiled male, the heartthrob is all of a sudden gay, they were not going to get the bigger roles anymore. They were going to be type casted, so that was the big way of hiding things. Them hiding their sexuality was dating a female who would keep them in the limelight basically and cover it up.’’ [about closeting] ‘’Times have changed, it still happens, but a lot has changed.’’ --> There are still people who would not like attending a Harry Styles (the heartthrob) concert when he comes out as gay.

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-’’To be able to sell the hype of it.’’ --> (Whenever a picture of Taylor and Tom or Louis and Eleanor comes out, people are quick to retweet, post and talk about what happened. Within no time the pictures have traveled through the internet. Which automatically means that a lot of people have seen it. All of this gives the label/couple/artist attention and money. --> Whether it is bad attention or good attention, attention means money.) a few examples of these couples are also: Haylor, Zigi and Elounor.

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-’’To sell tickets to concerts or movies.’’ --> 1D world tours and solo tours. That is also why beards like Camille Rowe, Eleanor Calder and Maya Henry attend their concerts. As for movies think about Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart (who is gay) fake dating, moments after Twilight came out. Think about 1D bringing their fake girlfriends to the world premiere and Zayn and Perrie getting engaged a second after. The purpose of these events are attention. Sweethearts, whenever people go to these shows/movies all they will focus on is 1D and their ‘girlfriends’. Photos will spread faster than ever and people will talk about how ‘real’ they are. Their aim is to kill two birds with one stone; making them look like a ‘real’ couple whilst promoting their movie/album.

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-’’To sell albums.’’ --> (Zigi, Chiam, Elounor, Hamille, Nailee, Haylor.) Let us be honest, are they not the biggest reasons why antis buy the album? Just to see what stuff they write about their fake girlfriends/boyfriends. Just to see how ‘Camille’ pronounces ‘’Coucou’’or just because Gigi Hadid starred in Zayn’s music video. Or maybe to finally know the ‘truth’ about Taylor’s fake relationships.

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-’’It's all about the hype at the moment. Especially with the social media world.’’ --> I am going to point out an important thing Jack said. He said ‘’especially with the social media world.’’ Remember when there were only rumours of Louis and Eleanor being back together? The whole fandom tweeted about it. This made it popular and that was the solid moment 1D’s label knew that Elounor 2.0 would do it for them. They would earn a lot by it. The same thing counts for Zigi, Chiam, Haylor, Hamille. Hamille is a good example too. When all of you heard that Harry wrote a song about her and that her voice was going to be included in his song, what happened? Exactly, everyone went nuts and made sure to listen to that exact song. That is exactly what they want. They want that power over you, that is what gives them the money. Another example, how fast do you think solo Zayn stans and Directioners tweeted about a ‘power couple’ when the news broke that Zayn and Gigi are ‘expecting a child’? How fast did people open their social media accounts when Kylie Jenner was pregnant for the Kardashian’s 10th anniversary? (Social media does A LOT. Whenever a picture of Eleanor (beard) and Clifford (Louis’ dog) arrives on the internet, people automatically assume they are together in a room. This, is not the case. That is how convenient social media is to arranged relationships. Why start a rumour by hiring newspapers instead of posting a message on social media? It is much cheaper and more people will know about it in less than four hours.)

Promoting certain brand like Coca Cola (Elounor), YSL, Gucci, Vogue (Zigi) and Hugo Boss are also a part of it. Celebrities wearing those brands make their fans want to buy it too, think of the Kardashians promoting Adidas and other expensive brands. Also think of people like Briana Jungwirth promoting flat tummy tea. This is called ‘celebrity branding.’

Tell me, how many times do you get HQ pic of your PR couple on your phone? People tend to go out of their mind when pictures come out. That is the immediate effect Hollywood has on social media/ you. That gives them the promo they need, even during quarantine the beards post pictures of themselves, making you think they are together when in reality they are not. :)

{About why Jack hooked an arranged relationship up himself} --> ‘’It was more of a mutual agreement between the agents. {Tells a story about an actor getting bad reviews for a movie and in order to let people focus on something else they got the actor a girl, so the media would focus on the girl instead of the bad movie.}’’ --> ‘’Just a one year deal. Basically they finished of the press and the international press and then they went their separate ways, because she did not want to do a two year deal.’’ {interviewer asks if it worked} --> ‘’It worked.’’ --> A few examples of (approximately) a one-year deal: Calvin Harris and Taylor Swift, Niall Horan and Hailee Steinfield and Louis Tomlinson and Danielle Campbell. It is also good to point out that the beard can decide whether she wants to continue or not, but the celebrity has to do what the agent arranges.

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{Interviewer asks what reasons people might have to agree to one of these PR relationships} --> Different reasons, that could be to deflect attention away from a controversy (damage control. think of something Larry or Ziam related happening and the next day Zigi and Elouno are papped. Or fans finding out Louis is in the same country as Harry and the next day they will let Elouno do a pap walk. Another example is when Ziammies find out a Zigi picture is photoshopped, the next day you will see Zigi in person. This happens when their stunts fail). So if an actor has drugs and alcohol problems they may want to give the appearance that they have settled down and are in a committed relationships so that they can banked for films. Or they are going to be able to get bonded and get work and people will trust them, because they have settled down. It also could be done to create a brand. Two celebs getting together and 'now there's this tremendous interest about them being a power couple.' [...] We create strong provision against the disclosure of any negative facts against the celebrity - with consequences. So these agreements need to be structured with a hold back of money so that over time if they have complied with the agreement and not disclosed ehh no personal information and violation the agreement then they would be entitled the payment, so under the agreement. " --> The last part might be difficult to understand, because the lawyer uses difficult words, but what he is actually saying is very important. He says if the celebrities who are in the PR relationship have done their part (parading around with each other) then they will receive their money (please correct me if I am wrong). The host also confirmed that contracts like these are the reason why a lot of celebrities do not admit they had a PR relationships.

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Clues on how to spot a PR relationship:

-‘’The main clue you would see is if, you know, a certain high profiled male is dating a female (or when a high profiled female is dating a regular male), who was not high profile. All of a sudden, she is, overnight, the most talked about girl in Hollywood and everyone want a piece of them. That is the biggest thing, you know, it is such a career boost for the female that some females end up taking the deal.’’ --> Zigi, Elounor, Chiam, Brouis, Haylor, Taylor and Calvin. How does the world know Eleanor Calder? Because of Louis Tomlinson. No one knew her before, except her family. How did Gigi gain so many followers? Because she started dating Zayn Malik. Gigi already had a platform for herself, but she gained a lot of followers by dating Zayn. Zayn also gained followers by dating Gigi. Gigi needed promo and Zayn was in the spotlight, because he just ‘left 1D.’ This made him the perfect target. I hope all of you also notice that when beards/fake girlfriends post pictures of them with their fake boyfriend, it gets way more likes than their usual pictures.

{What was the benefit for the girl in the scenario?} --> ‘’Ehm, she has a huge career at the moment. She benefit from that by becoming a household name (someone that is well known) and getting bigger roles than she would have. She would use to be the 3rd or the 4th lead in any auditions or any jobs that she was getting. She then became the first lead. She got a great career boost out of it, for sure.’’ --> Gigi Hadid, Eleanor Calder, Sophia Smith, Cheryl Cole, Maya, Camille Rowe and Kendall Jenner are just a few examples.

How did the world know Townes? Because ‘Harry named’ her in one of his songs. How did the world know about Maya Henry? Because Liam Payne started dating her. Before this, she was just a fan. How did Cheryl Cole get the attention back? Because of baby gate and by fake dating Liam Payne. How did Briana gain so many followers? Because Louis Tomlinson fans gave her the attention and because she participated in faking a pregnancy. How did Shawn and Camilla become a couple in the spotlight? Because people have always shipped them, ever since the beginning and their label gave the fans what they wanted. How did Kim Kardashian become famous? A *** tape of her and Ray J leaked and she became famous. Now, she is a lot richer and more famous than he is. A quick note, not many people know how Kim Kardashian became famous. They only really know her from Keeping Up With The Kardashians. The newer generation does not know about the tape scandal, and that is what they do. You need to dig a little deeper to see that. This all is an on-going cycle and it will not stop unless we all stop believing it. 😊

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What do they do in order to make a PR relationship look real?

{Interviewer asks what the clauses in an arranged relationships contract are} --> ‘’An arranged relationship is estranged by definition. So certainly we are going to see requests that are equally odd. They are certainly going to have requirements as to how they hold themselves out to the public as a couple. This would mean appearances at award shows, parties or events together as a couple and that there would be requirements maybe for specific events.’’ --> Eleanor attending Jay’s wedding and being ‘maid of honor’, Calvin and Taylor at Award shows, Elounor at the fashions show 2013, Haylor and their NYE ‘kiss’, Zigi at the MET gala and Chiam at the Brits, celebs at after parties with their ‘girlfriends’. All of these couples have also pictures with each other’s family members. That made a lot of you think they are close and real, well my loves, now you finally know that it is all part of a PR stunt. The fake girlfriends also have to look supportive, that is why they have to be there at concerts, soccer matches, award shows etcetera. 😊

Remember when Eleanor (beard) posted a picture of herself and in the background you could see a picture of her and Louis in 2012 and ‘Louis’ written on a board? Remember when she posted a picture of herself with her and Louis’ boots in the background in 2018? All of these things are there to make it look like they truly live together and that they truly own each other’s stuff. The same thing counts for Haylor’s airplane necklace. Do you genuinely think they did that by accident? No, that is the purpose of the whole picture. 😊

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‘’Then there is going to be particularly some none disclosure issues surrounding them as to what cannot be said about the relationship and what needs to be said. There could be a script even as to what they have to say if asked about the relationships. There would be photo sessions showing them as a couple. And then I have seen issues of sexual relationships and specific whether this would happen or not happen in an agreement. But if it is truly a PR relationships then sex would not be a part of that relationship, because it is not real.’’ --> Loves, do you remember a moment when someone asked a celebrity about his/her relationships and they stuttered and looked uncomfortable, or they just said something wrong or embarrassing or tried to talk themselves out of it? Well, that happens when you have to make up stuff that never happened. Louis Tomlinson confirmed his interviews are scripted, so this one is just an extra thick layer of confirmation. I also recall Gigi doing a live and someone asked about Zayn and she just stuttered and looked away, not knowing how to answer a question. (I think there have definitely been times when two people who were in an arranged relationship gave different answers to the same question, why? Because they do not know anything about each other.) Here is an example of a moment that is repeated and scripted about Louis’ ‘relationship’ with Eleanor, even know we have legit proof that is not what happened:

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Now I can hear all your lovely brains working and thinking whether a celebrity is willing to sign a contract like that or if their label is making them sign it. Well, if you have read my previous masterpost about the music industry you can see confirmations of the label making the artist their puppet. They own you, so if they think you should have a girlfriend to hide gay rumours then they will give you one. ‘A label cannot force you anything’, but it does make you sign a contract. When you sign the contract without reading it carefully, then your label will mess you up. In those contracts they do not write ‘’Taylor Swift has to agree to arranged relationships.’’ They write stuff like ‘’When signing the contract, Taylor Swift allows the label to make changes in order to get her to fame.’’ Of course Taylor (and other artists) would think that they mean changing her outfit and looks, but no. The label thinks being gay is something that will not get people enough fame. So what do they do? They change her, they change her sexuality. They closet her and even though Taylor and other LGBTQ artists do not want that. You cannot deny because when you do so, the label will show you the contract you signed. A contract like that is never written literally, they can manipulate their words. To the label ‘’being gay or a part of the LGBTQ+ community’’ falls under ‘’making changes’’ in order to make her famous. Of course there are celebrities who willingly closet themselves for various reasons. I hope to create a single post about how devious these contracts are for you all! 😊

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Here are a few things I hope you have learned from this: 😊

- Fake relationships still exist and they will always exist. It has been confirmed, so no one can deny this anymore.

- The girl and boy have to go to special events, such as award shows, family dinners and weddings in order to make it look real.

- Homophobia is still a thing and the biggest reason why arranged relationships exist.

- The beard has a contract too, so your idol has no say in how long she can or cannot stay. If she does good then she will stay. (I see many people say that Louis chose Eleanor because they are friends and that is why she is back, but he actually has no say in anything. Your idol is their product to sell. Your idol is basically a marionette.)

-The PR team does everything to make it look like they are truly together, think of photos of each other in each other’s homes and ‘personal gifts.’

-Celebrities get an enormous boost on their social media accounts when they start being part of an arranged relationship. Something I have always thought was a bit odd, is the fact that Eleanor never created an insta account until her and Louis’ ‘relationship’ had its peak; in the middle of June 2012. When in reality, insta was created in 2010. She also created twitter in 2012. Exactly when the first few big events were attended by them. (I genuinely think she did that, because everyone wanted to see more of her. Plus, she has always wanted to be a fashion blogger and this was her ‘big moment’ to do so.)

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The credits for this post go to @Totallylost4you. They made me aware of the podcast and they continue to shine light on hidden treasures like this one. They also hardly get credits for their solid hard work and I hope they will continue doing this! Thank you!

Thank you so much for your attention. If you have any question/suggestion, please do not hesitate to ask/tell me! I wish all of you the best and please stay safe. Have an amazing day!

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lonbergwrites · 4 years

Text

CIA Man

This is part of a multi-part review and commentary on the book Notes From A Young Black Chef by Kwame Onwuachi.

…

So 18 weeks have passed quickly... actually, I got the audiobook back from the library much sooner than expected... so let’s get back to it, shall we?

I’ve struggled since last reading and writing about this book with some of the things that I’ve said about the author and chef. I had a lot of harsh words for his brashness and braggadocio from the previous chapters. I turned his life and experience into stories out of a novel. A little part of that is that I’m thinking a lot about novels right now, as I prepare to get back to writing one... but that’s not really it...

I cannot believe how different life is now from when I started writing this series. “Back then” I couldn’t believe how different life was from what it had been earlier this year. I was out of work and a full-time house spouse, taking care of my two young kids day in and day out. And then the events following the death of George Floyd.

I may know the streets where so much ache and hurt and unjustice overflowed in Minneapolis, but I don’t know the lives of those that suffer at the hands of unjust authority. I don’t know that much about the lives of the black community. I’m a member of an interfaith, multi-church, multi-racial organization that works to lift up everybody in my community, and do racial justice and healing. I’m not the most ‘woke’ person I know by any means, but I am really trying.

... but reading Chef Kwame’s description at the end of this chapter - a metaphor for consomme representing his life - it struck me that I was showing my privilege. I had judged him for his “lack of experience” and grouched about having worked with people with that kind of mentality. I hope that didn’t come across as “those kind of people” - I didn’t intend it to have racial overtones, because in fact I was mostly thinking about white kids (because honestly, most of the chefs I’ve known and worked with have been white people - white men in fact). But a little of my unconscious racism showed through.

Chef Kwame talks about how all of his experiences made him the perfect student - cooking with mom, learning in a high stress environment in the Gulf, slinging drugs, then candy, and then catering. He’s not wrong. He’ll admit that he bit off more than he could chew... but he went back for that education to take his life and his profession seriously... and honestly, what high achiever hasn’t bit off more than they could chew? But more than that, how many of those people make good on the bluster and suit up for the task like a professional? Quite few.

I read the last chapters’ reviews that I wrote, and I mention that:

“That’s the hubris that a lot of the people that I went to culinary school (possibly myself included, though I wasn’t too full of myself, I’d like to believe) who hit the wall and learned a lot of humility real fast when getting into a real kitchen.”

Obviously, I was - and often can still be - full of myself. I don’t know if Chef Kwame will ever read this - I know that he’s at least seen the start of these reviews as he’s liked the first few on Twitter, and has retweeted the first installment - but if I was harsh or did harm, I’d like to formally apologize. You are raw and honest, and I hope to read with a more open mind moving forward.

... back to the chapter...

The bit that brought home this chapter to me was the line: “Daytime was for consomme and braising, nighttime was for quesadillas, tacos, and espazotes.” [note here: since I’m reading on audio, I couldn’t look up the word ‘espazotes’. I’m personally not familiar with this term. I speak some Spanish, so I wrote it out phonetically, but I was unsuccessful googling it with various spellings. All I was able to get to was the herb, and I don’t think that’s what he was intending.]

When I was in culinary school, I worked a restaurant gig at night. At first it was Applebee’s. Believe me when I say that I was making nothing as fancy as he was at that indy Mexican restaurant where things were done from scratch. I was grilling steaks, thrown as I was at the highest-ranking station right away because I was in culinary school (the only other culinary student at the place was on the fryer [the lowest station on the brigade], which surprised me because of his tenure - but shouldn’t have because he was one of the few Latino cooks, most of his compatriots being dishwashers and bussers).

Within a few weeks I was quickly shown a new station because I refused to weight steaks to get them done faster, so my ticket times were too high. I later worked ‘mid,’ which was the flat top station that made the quesadillas among other things. That was a rough, sweaty, hurried place. It helped me build my hussle, even though my feelings here hurt because it was a demotion - not in pay, but in prestige.

When I left Applebee’s, I was told that it was a good thing I was going to a different style of restaurant. The Kitchen Manager said I wouldn’t make it as a career cook there because while I did have attention to detail, I didn’t do things the corporate way. I’ll huff and puff and shit on the place because what he did honestly mean was that I took my time and did things right (right not being right to Applebee’s standards), but I couldn’t keep up with the other cooks. He wasn’t wrong. It wasn’t the place for me, and I’d never survive a lifer gig there. But I was fortunate in that I didn’t need to.

After Applebee’s I worked at a small chain of mid-level Italian restaurant in what is now called the fast casual mode. Everything was from scratch (or at least from scratch at the central corporate kitchen that aided in upping the larders for the dozen or so locations in the metro area), and I was using real techniques alongside more (technically) skilled cooks, most of whom were also in various culinary programs. Here I did fit in. Here I was fast enough.

I did ruffle a few feathers on the pizza station. I worked at a Pizza Place all through college. It was the small-chain kind that did some things in a more traditional way. One of those things was tossing the pizza crust. I was really, really good at it, so on our busiest nights on the weekend, I almost always worked the pizza station because not only was I good at it, but I put on a good show in the open kitchen. An assistant manager hated me doing it - it was actually “against the corporate rules” - but the main manager and the kitchen manager loved it, and so did the crowd of families (and especially the kids) who came in every weekend. I think the other cooks saw me as a bit of a show-boater, and they weren’t wrong. But I was good at the pizza station, no one could argue that. I don’t always do things by the book, but fortunately in the right kind of environments (for me), you don’t always have to.

This point in my life the work married the studies. Chef Kwame mentions how be brought uniformity in the guise of mirepoix to his Mexican restaurant (where he was working as sous chef during culinary school - no small feat). He taught the cooks to sear their big chunks of meat before braising. This Italian place was the proper place to use my new skills in a way that Applebee’s certainly wasn’t.

The awe that Chef Kwame shows towards culinary icons, institutions, and restaurants is one I understand. It is one I’ve felt. But the thing that really struck me - especially reading this in the wake of the death of George Floyd and this much-needed tipping-point in American culture - was the section where he’s arrested coming back to school at 2am after closing at the restaurant where he worked nights.

(side note: this man was also running his catering company in NYC on the weekends! How many hours does he have in a day? Mad respect. Mad respect.)

Being pulled over by the cops if you’re black can be a death sentence in the US. He got arrested and booked because he had some outstanding parking tickets. The officer: “seemed like the kind of guy who wanders around with his hands down his pants making sure his dick is still there.” I’ve seen those officers, and it was visceral to me. I viscerally dislike and do not respect people like this. But I can do that safely. It is an eye-opener to hear the lived experiences of our brothers and sisters of other skin tones. We need to do better in America.

All of these “stories” that throw me are the lived experiences of our neighbors. We need to get in tune with what’s going on. We need to listen more. I need to listen more. There is a lot of work to be done. I’m truly looking forward to continuing on this journey with Chef Kwame.

~BPL

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traincat · 5 years

Note

I'm sure you've probably gotten this ask before, but I guess I'm just feeling insecure right now. Do you think that something has to be as accurate to the comics as possible for it to be good? Because I really like the Spidey cartoons that Disney has produced (Ultimate and MSM), but I don't want to be disrespectful to the original comic canon, like MCU Spidey fans are.

This is going to probably sound odd coming from the queen of hating MCU Spider-Man, but the long and short of this in my opinion is: you like what you like and there’s nothing wrong with that. If some people like MCU Spider-Man best, that’s their prerogative. If you like the Disney cartoons best, that’s yours. I like 616 Peter best, and that’s mine. You said you were feeling insecure, so that’s probably part of it, but -- and again, probably gonna sound a little weird coming from me -- you shouldn’t let other people ruin your enjoyment.

I think the key to respecting comic canon is just in not insisting something is the most accurate adaptation if it isn’t (or if you don’t know that it is -- a lot of people talk about Spider-Man comics in relation to adaptations or in general without reading them, which is fine until they start asserting that their opinion must be correct or spouting false facts -- the widely retweeted Venom twitter thread that insisted Peter hadn’t suffered much in the way of loss when he encountered the symbiote will haunt me forever) -- it doesn’t mean you can’t like that adaptation the best, though. That’s a matter of personal taste. I’m a comics purist, I freely admit that, but it’s very much personal taste. There are MCU Spider-Man fans who are very respectful to comics canon while also preferring MCU Spider-Man sheerly because that incarnation of the character is more to their tastes. And really, I don’t think 616 Peter is everyone’s cup of tea -- he’s aggressive, both verbally and physically, he’s sarcastic, he can be hostile, he’s overly independent. Frankly, he’s a bit of a jerk. And I want to see him in more things because I love him, but I also get that we all like and dislike characters based on personal preferences, and I think a lot of us in the fandom would be happier if people who didn’t like 616 Peter Parker would admit it rather than insisting that he has character traits that he doesn’t, which is when I personally start getting grouchy. We all like what we like and we dislike what we dislike. I personally dislike adaptations that stray far from the original characterization not only because it means I can’t fully enjoy the new media, but because those adaptations reflect badly on the original in his current comics -- but that’s not any one individual fan’s fault, and I think that’s much less of a thing with cartoons than it is with movies anyway. I feel kind of bad when I get these asks because I’m aware I’m a strong personality and that I am very confident in my opinions but my goal isn’t to make anyone feel bad, really, just to express my side of things. Which isn’t to say you made me feel bad! It was an interesting question to get and I appreciate your sensitivity.

But that you’re even worrying about being disrespectful to comics canon is a sign that you’re not, and I hope that you feel less insecure soon and that you continue to enjoy what you enjoy.

#*replies #Anonymous

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xtremedespair3d · 4 years

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My Lukewarm History with Pixelbuster/Nitomatta

Yesterday, independent gaming journalist Pixelbuster, or Nitomatta, has been under controversy for taking advantage of small gaming news site Final Weapon for getting review copies of games and don’t review them all, basically getting the games he’s supposed to review for free. He’s been fired from Final Weapon and put his journalist career to an end.

This post is copied and pasted from a thread I made yesterday, so think of it as a complete and more accessible guide to my rant about Pixelbuster/Nitomatta with a few changes from the thread. This post isn't about what happened to Pixel and owning games for free, since people talked about him, I decided to take an opportunity to rant with my own perspective about why do I dislike the guy.

I never liked Pixel the moment we started talking a little bit more and even brought me to his server in 2018. There are times that he contradicted me on certain things and seeing his tweets really drove me insane a lot in 2019 to the point that I had to mute him.

I also never understood why did Pixel make me a mod on his server. I mean, I appreciate it but at the same time I need to understand what am I worth to him. But then I kind of abuse the power of being a mod by deleting people's negative comments I don't like. Not to mention I seriously rant and vent A LOT in his server which almost nobody didn't really care about comforting me at all, but at the same time I always thought I might be getting everyone on their nerves. And speaking of his server (which is now deleted lol), that's one of the worst servers I've ever been, the people in there are so bland, talk shit on a couple of things a lot, and they share all kinds of porn I wasn't a huge fan of the Western art style of. To top it all off with sharing NSFW content on his server, he's absolutely okay with having people share furry porn but not loli/shota porn because it would make some people uncomfortable. Like, really? Come on. Sure, you don't really have to like loli/shota porn, but still, learn to have more balls on bearing that shit, especially if whether or not you're those "Fiction = Reality" purists (Which I hate these kinds of people).

Lastly, at one time, I left his server because I was getting tired of it, then I came back for a little bit to take a quick peek to see what has changed after announcing I was leaving, and then I left again.

Then Pixelbuster DM'd me on Discord saying to please come back to the server, I was getting bored anyways so I decided to return (along to the RPG Site Discord server where we first met and the one server I despise to death). Now I regret returning to his bland ass server. After returning to his server, Pixel told me "Thank you, I promise you we will help you" probably about my problems I constantly talk about. Then I constantly rant and vent on his server a lot and he and his friends continued to do NOTHING to help me. I also felt sorry for talking ill of him and a bit of his server, but afterwards, I took back my apology as I still loathe him and his server.

The only thing I'll admire Pixel for is that some of his viral clips get retweeted by Japanese people, particularly artists and most recently, I saw a tweet of a RE3 mod video where he was retweeted by bkub, the creator of Pop Team Epic.

For a while I’ve always wanted to randomly tweet that Pixelbuster is a clown, he’s a total piece of shit, and with all this scandal, I finally took the opportunity to say it, but not because of what he did with Final Weapon, because I never liked him. I never liked Pixel at all, part of me feels like he deserves the hate he's getting, and I wish to completely disassociate with me for good. Also, he hates Yumi. He likes all Senran Kagura girls except Yumi. Like, seriously? Fuck Pixel.

The most baffling things he's ever said is that he would get better from his mental health issues and negativity. I'm really sorry but I seriously can't help but laugh so hard at it because he seriously can't help himself on the way he is. His behavior and his opinions are the major reasons why do I despise Pixel to death, he's just absolutely destructive on a lot of things media related. Sure, you could say that most of his opinions attacking large corporates like Disney and such are valid, but it's just the way he expresses them and everything are something I seriously couldn't take him seriously for. That's why I muted him on Twitter this year, I couldn't stand a word he said and it drove me insane a lot last year. I know I already said that but I must stress that out.

What are the things that he contradicted me? Well...

On the RPG Site Discord, the time we were watching the Sega panel from Tokyo Game Show and there was a segment that featured the mobile game called Kotodaman, which they were talking about a Kemono Friends collab. I randomly said that I recognized the game from watching VTuber Noja Loli Ojisan Nekomasu, and he said "I don't care." In retrospect, that sounded very forced. (The thing about the Kotodaman and the Kemono Friends collab was around the same time Tatsuki got fired by Kadokawa when Kemono Friends turned out so successful.)

The time he shared a later Captain Marvel trailer and said that he's finally sold on it, I told him most trailer are fine and he told me "No."

The time when the One Punch Man fighter game was announced, I simply said that it probably was to capitalize on season 2 and he said "No one gives a shit about season 2." I mean, sure but you didn't need to tell me that. Hell, you didn't even HAVE to force your opinions saying that you don't care, can't you just simply learn to ignore, you fucking idiot?

Let's not even get started on the time Pixel banned BlindedOtaku (Who I really despise because he's annoying) from his after some internal drama on his server on December 30th 2018. I wouldn't like to get into details because I can't remember what exactly happened nor I care. The last thing I remember about the drama is that I brought BlindedOtaku to the server after being kicked because he told me so and elaborate on his account on what happened. Then Pixel banned him for good and told me "You tried."

What's the point of this post? The point of this thread is just pretty much ranting about my history with Pixel as "friends," even though I've always had a distance with him and to show off that I wholeheartedly don't recommend you talking to him for the faint of heart, especially after this whole drama happened.

I would say that he can be a very difficult person to talk with, but he's not, the last time I had a relatively normal conversation with him is that if he gets the laggy cutscenes in the PC port of Persona 4 Golden, which he told me it only affects laptop users (Well shit).

Now, here comes the ultimate question: Should Pixelbuster be cancelled?

Well, I'm an edgy person so I would say yes, but at the same time, I don't condone cancel culture and he should own up to his mistakes, so absolutely not. I don't like Pixel for what he is regardless of the drama, I probably won't redeem myself on liking him more, but for the faint of heart, I don't want him to be cancelled. I heard that he's admitted his mistakes so it's something. Even if he were to own up to his mistakes and apologize, he’s now been fired from Final Weapon, if shit goes a little too far outside of Final Weapon, then his career as a journalist has indeed been ruined. To reiterate, no, Pixelbuster should not be cancelled. (At this point he’s probably indeed cancelled.)

I was feeling tempted to talk about Pixelbuster since he's still present on Discord, I would probably talk to him about the situation, but because I need to keep my word about why do I dislike him, I decided to block him on Discord once and for all. I doubt I'd want to talk to him ever again. I was genuinely feeling soft on wanting to comfort the guy and I feel absolutely disgusted and I want to drill my head to suck all the blood from my brain for thinking that.

My biggest gripe with Pixel is that once I become a successful creator, when I make some despicable stories or say some dumb shit, he'd put me on the vein of MatPat and Disney, that’s how despicable he is. I’m sorry if I may sound egotistical and biased because I hate people’s opinions and stuff, but he’s one of the many things that turned me into the kind of person I am right now, an egotistical dude who has a deep hatred for literally anyone’s opinions, criticims, everything else, even small complaints, because I’m easy to get my thoughts dictated and I always disagree and refuse to believe anyone by (occasionally) insult and fight back directly at them.

A few hours ago, he had returned to Twitter only to make a TwitLonger about his statement, I probably wouldn’t care to read the whole thing, but the most important parts is that he’s gone off the face of the internet for good and he’s getting a proper job now. I wish I could have tell him some final words for him, but I can’t even bother.

And there you go, that’s the end of my experience with Pixelbuster. Totally unrelated to the review copy drama, but I wanted to tell everyone how unlikeable he’s always been. And with that said, I’m finally free! I’m finally free from being associated with this scumbag (even though we probably hadn’t interacted much but I’ve always seen his activities that seriously drove me insane), he, his Discord server and the people on it, everything can go to hell with him.

P.S. What’s with the Nitocris thumbnail? Well, Nitocris was his waifu, he’s always had Nitocris images as his profile pictures, but recently he had a new icon of a commission of his OC. That makes me think his love for Nitocris has ceased.

Check out my Carrd.

#pixelbuster #nitomatta #drama #rant

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chaos-and-recover · 7 years

Note

you know what, just do all the fuckin music asks. ALL OF THEM

ALL OF THEM.

LIKE I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO

(I don’t)

1: name 11 bands you listen to regularly

AFI

Anberlin

The Rocket Summer

July Talk

Take That

Lucky Boys Confusion

Jimmy Eat World

The Gaslight Anthem

Paramore, lately, I guess

Dreamcar

Blaqk Audio

2: is there a band with only one song you like?

I really never got SUPER into Underoath beyond A Boy Brushed Red... but MAN that song goes hard

3: what is a very unpopular band you're into? tell a little bit about them

Unpopular as in no one knows who they are, or unpopular as in... they’re kind of a joke and no one takes them seriously/admits to liking them? The former would be July Talk, who are my darlings and one of the best live bands I’ve ever seen. The chemistry between the two singers is UNREAL. They’re like... indie rock but sometimes kinda bluesy? Also they’re all my faves, their guitarist spends 90% of his time on twitter retweeting people talking shit about them and their drummer is the purest ever and just uses Instagram for his birding photography, I love him. The latter, a band no one admits to like/no one takes seriously/are pretty much a fucking meme are the Plain White T’s but LISTEN!!!!! I’ve been listening to them since 2002, they are so much more than Hey There Delilah, they’re my boys and I love them.

4: name a great band you recently discovered

I’m kinda really big on Creeper right now. Go listen to Misery. Do it. I’ll wait.

5: which rare recording of any band would you like to possess?

I don’t know if it like, actually counts/if there are recordings in existence but listen there are songs written BY Fall Out Boy FOR One Direction that were considered “too weird” for them and I’ve never needed to hear any specific songs more in my life.

6: is there an artist whose solo career you prefer over their work with their band(s)?

I prefer Justin Timberlake to N Sync because those battle lines were drawn when I was 12 years old and I chose BSB. I OBVIOUSLY made the right choice but man, solo JT is the shit.

7: which is you favourite side project by any band member?

Blaqk Audio. But I also really like Brian Fallon’s solo album but I think that’s just... his project now, I don’t think Gaslight Anthem is a thing anymore.

8: which song do you think should everybody listen to at least once in their lives?

Hear me out -- it’s the Neverending Story theme song by Limahl. I FUCKING LOVE THE NEVERENDING STORY MORE THAN MOST THINGS. (also the New Found Glory cover is A+++)

9: explain why your favourite song is your favourite song

I don’t really know what my favourite song is, like, of all time. As a kid it was probably Forever Young by Alphaville and I can’t really explain why except that instrumental bit at the end is amazing (also ask @sinceubeenjon about how I feel about the One Direction cover because... I love it. I’m not ashamed). My favourite like... not-embarrassing song is probably “Falling Slowly” because I also love the shit out of Once, and it’s like 7 years later and I’m still obsessed with it winning the Oscar over three Disney songs, it’s the greatest underdog story of all time. And I’m in love with Glen Hansard.

10: any bands you got into after seeing them live?

So okay my love of the Plain White T’s (which started after I saw them open for Jimmy Eat World, so there’s one) meant that for a LONG time I was seeing them open for other bands or as part of really weird lineups and because of them I got into The Rocket Summer, Lucky Boys Confusion and, recently, Set It Off. I also got into Anberlin in 2003 when they opened a show I went to and they went on to be one of the most important bands in the world to me (and then ruined my life by leaving me forever in 2014 but IT’S FINE I’M FINE)

11: any bands your friends got you into?

I guess I can count Jacques who got me into Creeper lmao. Also in high school my friend Shannon fell in love with the first Taking Back Sunday album and gave copies to EVERYBODY, so there’s that one, and I fucking love that album (kiiiiiinda fallen off them lately but damn that was a good record.)

12: a band which is the only band from their genre you like?

I don’t regularly listen to all that much hip hop but I adore clipping. so I guess they count.

13: an unpopular opinion on which is your favourite song by any band?

Listen, all you former emo kids are dead wrong about MCR, Welcome To The Black Parade is not their best song, it’s obviously Headfirst for Halos or You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison or Helena like... anything off Three Cheers. Also like as recently as last week I was thinking about a band where the die-hard fans all pretend to hate their most popular song and wanted to say we can all admit it’s fucking great, let’s not be too cool for it but I CAN’T REMEMBER WHAT BAND OR SONG THAT WAS ANYMORE. I REMEMBERED WHO IT WAS IT WAS JIMMY EAT WORLD AND THE SONG WAS THE MIDDLE. FUCK Y’ALL THAT’S A GREAT DAMN SONG.

14: _th favourite song by your _th favourite band?

This one needs more direction I think I need a number to answer with?? It also seems like it would require a LOT of thought.

15: _th favourite album by your _th favourite band?

SEE ABOVE.

16: favourite album artwork?

MxPx - Life In General. I’ll fight you on this. I love that album cover. Although Glassjaw - Worship & Tribute had a bad ass minimalist design too.

17: favourite booklet design?

It doesn’t feel like this should be my real answer but I both love and hate what Anberlin did with Lowborn, from the cover variants (I have all of them and they’re framed with a signed one in the middle because I am GARBAGE) and the band photo on the back of it with like an obituary type layout. It hurts my soul but I like it too.

18: favourite concept album?

Showbread’s Anorexia & Nervosa albums were INCREDIBLE but then everyone hated them because no one likes when bands take risks for some reason??? and it made them bitter as hell and they called everyone out on their next album lmao I miss them. Also Boys Night Out’s Trainwreck was really good and someone made it into a stage show I want to see so badly.

19: which bands would you like to see live one day?

I think I’ve actually gotten to see almost every band I would ever want to but there are a handful of boybands I never got to see because they never made it over here that I’d like to. A1 and 5ive mostly. I don’t care. I’d go hard for them.

20: which was the longest concert you ever attended?

Like in terms of a single artist’s set fucking Eric Church played for three and a half goddamn hours on his last tour. C’mon man I don’t have that kind of energy. Good show though.

21: a musician whose music you enjoy but whom you dislike as a person or vice versa?

So uh... Stephen Christian from Anberlin SORT OF falls into this because obviously I love him??? and I love Anberlin and I love Anchor & Braille but MY DUDE I cannot do the worship album he just released. Can’t. Sorry. Not for me.

Also, there used to be the concept of “Good Guys Bad Band” thrown around the scene a lot, and I very strongly associate it with Simple Plan because it SEEMS LIKE THEY GOT HIT WITH IT A LOT and honestly? Those guys are/were the best. I can’t really speak to it now but like 15 years ago when they were starting out, they were rad as hell. SUPER nice, SUPER friendly, just really good dudes. But their music. Bruh. Same thing with Marians Trench, actually, Josh was just THE BEST but holy shiiiiiit they suck. (I’ve heard he’s kind of a dick now and that disappoints me)

22: list 10 favourite songs by your top 10 bands (each)

Like, 10 songs each by 10 bands? WE’RE GONNA BE HERE ALL NIGHT.

Songs won’t actually be in top 10 order but:

AFI:

Narrative of Soul Against Soul

This Time Imperfect

Malleus Maleficarum

Days of the Phoenix

Veronica Sawyer Smokes

Wester

Darling, I Want To Destroy You

Kill Caustic

The Great Disappointment

A Deep Slow Panic

Anberlin:

The Unwinding Cable Car

The Haunting

The Runaways

Atonement (lmao I will never not cry listening to it though)

Alexithymia

Autobahn

Miserabile Visu (Ex Malo Bonum)

God, Drugs & Sex

Time & Confusion

Uncanny

The Rocket Summer:

200,000

Skies So Blue

This Is Me

Brat Pack

White Fireworks

Do You Feel

Colors

So, In This Hour

The Rescuing Type

Mean Thoughts & Cheap Shots

Jimmy Eat World

If You Don’t, Don’t

Kill

Work

Big Casino

The End Is Beautiful

The Middle

A Praise Chorus

Futures

For Me This Is Heaven

The Gaslight Anthem

The ‘59 Sound

Great Expectations

Handwritten

Boxer

Here’s Looking At You, Kid

Blue Dahlia

Mulholland Drive

Rollin’ and Tumblin’

We Came To Dance

Take That

When We Were Young

Back For Good

Pray

Wooden Boat

Hold Up A Light

How Did it Come To This

The Flood

Eight Letters

Said it All

MxPx

The Next Big Thing

Move To Bremerton

Responsibility

Chick Magnet

Andrea

I’m Ok, You’re Ok

My Life Story

My Mom Still Cleans My Room

Party, My House, Be There

Punk Rawk Show

Tiger Army

Never Die

FTW

Incorporeal

Cupid’s Victim

Annabelle Lee

Ghost Tigers Rise

Wander Alone

Forever Fades Away

Prisoner Of The Night

Twenty Flight Rock (ok it’s a cover IT’S FUCKING AWESOME THOUGH

July Talk

The Garden

Gentleman

Uninvited

Summer Dress

Strange Habit

Lola + Joseph

Johnny + Mary

Having You Around

Now I Know

Touch

36 Crazyfists

Bloodwork

At The End of August

Slit Wrist Theory

I’ll Go Until My Heart Stops

Destroy The Map

Skin & Atmosphere

Absent Are The Saints

Time & Trauma

11.24.11

Song For The Fishermen

23: favourite singer (only for voice?) and favourite drummer/guitarist/bassist (only for playing their instrument)

Singer: Adam Lambert has a stellar voice and I will, as usual, fight anyone about that.

Drummer: Adam Carson was way better than early AFI deserved tbh, and honestly Travis Barker has always been better than every single band he’s ever been in.

Bassist: Mike Herrera is lowkey the love of my life soooooo

Guitarist: I CAN’T DECIDE SO I’M JUST GONNA SAY IT’S JADE PUGET.

24: favourite songwriter/lyric writer

Davey Havok & Stephen Christian are two of a very short list of people who have written words I have planned (but not GOTTEN AROUND TO) to tattoo on my body forever, so.

25: somebody you absolutely adore as both a musician and a person

MY DARLING BALL OF HAPPINESS BRYCE AVARY AKA THE ROCKET SUMMER. THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE. A LITERAL RAY OF SUNSHINE. I L O V E HIM.

I mean. I just think he’s neat.

#music asks #ALL OF THEM #nikkihorrorxx

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loosejournal · 5 years

Text

Dwight Garner’s favorite quotations

For nearly four decades I’ve kept what is known as a commonplace book – a bound notebook, and later a long computer file, passed from desktops (1990s) to laptops (2000s) to my cell phone, into which I’ve poured verbal delicacies, “blasts of a trumpet”, as Emerson put it, and bits of scavenged wisdom from my life as a reader. Yea, for I am an underliner, a destroyer of books, and maybe you are, too. Commonplace books are not so uncommon. John Locke kept one, as did Virginia Woolf. W. H. Auden published his, as did the poet J. D. McClatchy. E. M. Forster’s was issued after his death. The novelist David Markson wrote terse and enveloping novels that resembled commonplace books in many regards; they were bird’s nests of facts threaded with the author’s own subtle interjections. For fans of the commonplace book genre, many prize examples have come from lesser-known figures like Geoffrey Madan and Samuel Rogers, both English, who produced books that are notably witty and illuminating. These have become cult items. Christopher Ricks noted about Rogers that, although he may not have been an especially kind man, “he was very good at hearing what was said”.

I use my own commonplace book as an aide-mémoire, a kind of external hard drive. Reading it is a way of warding off what Christopher Hitchens, quoting a friend, called CRAFT (Can’t Remember a Fucking Thing) syndrome. I use my gleanings in my own writing. Like Montaigne, I quote others “in order to better express myself”. Montaignecompared quoting well to arranging other people’s flowers. Sometimes, I sense, I quote too often, swinging on them in my writing as if from vine to vine. It’s one of the curses of spending a lifetime as a word-eater, and of retaining, so far, a semi-reliable memory.

I am no special fan of most books of quotations. Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations, the Yale Book of Quotations and the New Penguin Dictionary of Modern Quotations, to name three dependable reference books, have their uses, for sure. They are sturdy repositories of literary and verbal history. (Countless other books of quotations aren’t reliable at all.) But even the best contain a good deal of dead weight. They lean, sometimes necessarily, on canned and overused thought and, more grievously, are skewed to the upbeat. So many of the lines they contain seem to vie to be stitched on throw pillows or ladled, like chicken soup, on the credulous soul. “Almost all poetry is a failure”, Charles Bukowski contended, “because it sounds like somebody saying, Look, I have written a poem.” The same is true of quotations and aphorisms; too many have a taxidermied air, as if they were self-consciously aimed at posterity.

This small slice of the material I’ve hoarded is a sliver of a much larger book project, one that will break with the conventions of commonplace books and volumes of quotations by organizing quotes by feel rather than by category. There are few life lessons except by accident. I must add that I do not agree with everything that is said: retweet does not, as they say on Twitter, necessarily equal endorsement.

-----

(small selection)

“It’s only words, unless they’re true.” – David Mamet, Speed-the-Plow

“Why are you all reading? I don’t understand this reading business when there is so much fucking to be done.” – Sheila Heti, How Should a Person Be?

“Better a good venereal disease than a moribund peace and quiet.” – Henry Miller, Quiet Days in Clichy

“Everything that is true is inappropriate.” – Oscar Wilde

“Everyone nodded, nobody agreed..” – Ian McEwan, Amsterdam

“Let’s, as if sore, grab a few things from the flood.” – A. R. Ammons, Complete Poems

“Fragments, indeed. As if there were anything to break.” – Don Paterson, Best Thought, Worst Thought

“He licked his lips. ‘Well, if you want my opinion–’ ‘I don’t,’ she said. ‘I have my own.’ –Toni Morrison, Beloved

“Love poems must be bounced back off a moon.” – Robert Graves, Paris Review interview

“See the moon? It hates us.” – Donald Barthelme, Sixty Stories

“You know where the Beatles got that shit from. You know that’s our shit they fucking up like that.” – Albert Murray, South to a Very Old Place

“How come the Beatles never got busted for statutory rape – because they’re white?” – Eve Babitz, Eve’s Hollywood

“I hope you don’t mind, I’m from the South. We’re touchers.” – Charlie Rose, attributed

“Mick Jagger should fold up his penis and go home.” – Robert Christgau, Village Voice

“Somehow he knew, based on very little experience, that this faux-casualshit spelled money.” – Tom Wolfe, Bonfire of the Vanities

“Being rich is about acting, too, isn’t it? A style, a pose, an interpretation that you force upon the world.” – Martin Amis, Money

“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.” – Dorothy Parker

“Oh, fuck, not another elf.” – Hugo Dyson, as J.R.R. Tolkien read aloud an early draft of The Lord of the Rings

“I am putting a mental jigsaw together of what a hobbit looks like, based on a composite of every customer I have ever sold a copy to.” – Shaun Bythell, Diary of a Bookseller

“You put your finger in it, and go swish, swish, swish.” – Jane Jacobs, on how to make a West Village martini

“Wasn’t the whole 20th century a victory lap of collage, quotation, appropriation, from Picasso to Dada to Pop?” – Jonathan Lethem, The Ecstasy of Influence

“I suddenly began to realize that everybody in America is a natural-born thief.” – Jack Kerouac, On the Road

“The not paying for things is intoxicating.” – Philip Roth, American Pastoral

“I don’t trust anybody who hasn’t shoplifted.” – John Waters

“Cleanliness might not be next to godliness but it is certainly adjacent to horniness.” – Geoff Dyer, on hotels, in Otherwise Known as the Human Condition

“The assumptions a hotel makes about you! All those towels.” – Stanley Elkin, The Dick Gibson Show

“The meat around my skull can’t stop smiling.” – Catherine Lacey, The Answers

“Let’s have some new clichés.” – Sam Goldwyn

“I need some new attitudes, some new affirmations and denials.” – Lionel Trilling, letter

“Good-bye, and I don’t mean au revoir.” – Christopher Ricks

“Of course it’s all right for librarians to smell of drink.” – Barbara Pym, Less Than Angels

“Edward worried about his drinking. Would there be enough gin? Enough ice?” – Donald Barthelme, Flying to America

“I have no enemies. But my friends don’t like me.” – Philip Larkin

“There was obviously nothing to recommend me to anyone.” – Deborah Levy, Hot Milk

“I have always disliked myself at any given moment; the total of such moments is my life.” – Cyril Connolly, Enemies of Promise

“Talk into my bullet hole. Tell me I’m fine.” – Denis Johnson, Jesus’ Son

“Every time he played a note he waved it goodbye. Some times he didn’t even wave.” – Geoff Dyer on Chet Baker, But Beautiful

“Let us reflect whether there be any living writer whose silence we would consider a literary disaster.” – Cyril Connolly, The Unquiet Grave

“If we did get a writer worth reading, should we know him when we saw him, so choked as we are with trash?” – George Orwell, Keep the Aspidistra Flying

“Book publishing should be done by failed writers who recognize the real thing when they see it.” – Robert Giroux, Paris Review interview

“Books are, let’s face it, better than everything else.” – Nick Hornby, Ten Years in the Tub

“Revenge is the capitalism of the poor.” – Aravind Adiga, Selection Day

“It makes an immigrant laugh to hear the fears of the nationalist, scared of infection, penetration, miscegenation, when this is small fry, peanuts, compared to what the immigrant fears – dissolution, disappearance.” – Zadie Smith, White Teeth

“The face of ‘evil’ is always the face of total need.” – William S. Burroughs, preface to Naked Lunch

“In our deepest moments we say the most inadequate things.” – Edna O’Brien, The Love Object

“How desperate do you have to be to start doing push-ups to solve your problems?” – Karl Ove Knausgaard, My Struggle: Book Two

“The primary object of a student of literature is to be delighted.” – Lord David Cecil

TLS, 2018

#quotes #dwight garner #commonplace book

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leafslovehurts · 8 years

Text

#LeafsAreActuallyGood

A blog about how much it hurts to love the Leafs doesn’t need to exist when both the team’s President and head coach inform the fanbase, with comforting frankness, that pain is coming.

The current regime has done everything imaginable to set my mind at ease. Even last season, in all it’s awfulness, was in essence a victory, because the team planned on tanking and came in dead last, landing franchise center Auston Matthews. I still found things to be frustrated about last year, particularly Joffrey Lupul’s tepid performance in the latter half of the season. But overall I was just fine with watching the opposing team skate rings around our rentals (Grabner, Paranteau, Arcobello, Brennan, Laich, Matthias, Spaling, et al) as we rode the proverbial eighteen wheeler to the basement.

I’m not complaining about having less to write about these days. It’s obvious anyway that my mind has been elsewhere, chiefly watching and enjoying the team, devouring thousands of words in Leafs coverage per night in between periods. I stream my games so I don’t get to watch the intermission chatter, which has actually strengthened my love for the game. It’s amazing how the opinions you form are in tandem with those talking heads, even when you haven’t heard what they said. This is either because I am a genius, or because the things they say are generally patently obvious. Except for anything Elliotte Friedman says, because Elliotte Friedman is an excellent analyst and broadcaster, the TV personality of Mike Gartner. You don’t notice how good he is until you realize how much faster he is than everyone around him.

Things haven’t been this good in nearly fifteen years. Even before Game 7, the 2013 playoff run smacked of a fluke, what with the team riding an impossibly high shooting percentage and winning games despite being outshot every single night. It is roundly acknowledged that the Leafs would not have made the playoffs if the 2012-2013 season went to 82 games, or even 62.

But this has been a tremendous year, even if the Bruins just knocked the Leafs back to ninth after holding a playoff spot for all of twenty four hours. Not only has the on-ice product been exhilarating, the coverage of the team has been uniformly excellent this season, save for Simmons. @JeffVeillette’s hashtag #LeafsAreActuallyGood is getting more and more retweets every day, and deservedly so. And The Athletic is providing some absolutely fantastic journalism, even if I can’t be bothered to pay for it because I’m broke all the time. Suffice it to say, I would read the exclusive content if someone bought me subscription, but I probably should have said so before Christmas.

So here’s what I’ll be doing lately instead of complaining: Along with more regular updates, I’ll also be rounding up and posting links to Leaf-related content, though not as a traditional aggregator. While I will be posting recently published articles (80% of them likely being the work of Sean McIndoe or Down Goes Brown, as he’s more famously known, 15% James Mirtle who I hate less now that he’s dialed down the smug, and the other 5% being wildcards), I’ll also be digging up some old stuff such as old articles featuring terrible Leaf predictions, interesting YouTube videos, and podcasts or images relating to the Leafs that I have something to say about. I’ll also occasionally post an article or two that has nothing to do with the team at all. I’ll be doing all of this for a few reasons:

1. To discipline my writing by shoehorning my usually flowery sentences into the more economical form of the capsule review. 2. To curate content according to my own tastes, so that my Google searches start filtering out writers I dislike. 3. To find a way to keep the blog going without complaining in every post. 4. To be less like a Leafs fans answer to Maddox, who disappeared from the internet just as social media was exploding, and in doing so buried himself beneath the bilge of bellowing bastards that is Twitter, Facebook, and to a much lesser extent, Tumblr. I don’t mean that I’m relevant to social media, but that the number of posts on this blog began to decline just as the team’s fortunes began their ascent, and that this was not coincidental. 5. The non-Leaf stuff will be posted just to prove that I have a life outside the team, even if I may not have a life outside my bedroom. I still love the Leafs just as much as you do. Don’t believe me? Ask the needle that a guy named George dragged through my skin last week for forty-five minutes.

#LeafsLoveHurts In more ways than one.

Anyway, posting links to articles other people have written might help distract from the fact that right now I don’t have much to say other than: I love that the team is playing high event hockey this season and winning in ways that are actually sustainable, though I hate that they have such a hard time holding onto leads and I loath the defence pairing of Polak and Hunwick and don’t understand why Babcock continues to give them minutes when they are clearly struggling. Neither man can even make a simple outlet pass. They need to be shipped to Robidas Island before I complete this sentence. Still here? Fuck off.

So, here’s today’s or this week’s or whatever’s three articles of the day, week, whatever:

1. Let’s start with a great article from, who else, Down Goes Brown on Brian Burke’s trade acumen when he was the GM in Toronto:

2. This one is only tangentially related to Toronto, in that it’s about Tim Leiweke, which is a bit of an odd choice given that said article was published before Tim came to Toronto, and I’m posting a link to it well after he has left Toronto. But it is such a good fucking read that I have to put it here. It will take you half an hour to forty five minutes, but you won’t regret it. Reading from the perspective of now, you feel almost bad for the guy for not fielding an NFL team in Los Angeles after all that hard work. Don’t fuck with the NFL. They truly do not give a shit if you spend a billion dollars on your stadium, especially if you inexplicably sold the naming rights before gaining city approval and league approval. Seriously,this article is so good, I’m posting another hyperlink to it in my next sentence. Read this fucking amazing thing.

3. This one isn’t Leaf related at all, but it is an astounding achievement in the field of crime journalism, written by an author who claims that men are obsolete in today’s world. I’m not making a selective interpretation here. Her book is actually called The End Of Men.

Men are done. Who woulda thunk. Maybe that explains why the Toronto Maple Leafs are almost exclusively comprised of boys who can’t yet drink legally.

That’s the news, lose yer blues. Why? #LeafsAreActuallyGood

Spread the word. Don’t be a turd.

#torontomapleleafs #leafsareactuallygood #timleiweke #austonmatthews #toronto #hockey #downgoesbrown #jamesmirtle #theathletic #brianburke

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