#Making me worried I’ll have to skip hockey practice tonight

[avoidingdestiny]

My heart has felt a little weird all day, like how your stomach feels on a roller coaster, but it’s so mild that I think I might be making it up.

[troubatrain]

i’d lie - m. tkachuk

a/n: this was the very first like super long fic i’d written for my own blog and tbh i still love it so i hope you guys do too :)

September 2019

The first time you met Matthew Tkachuk, you were running back to your apartment, mountain of textbooks in your hand. You’d run into a firm chest while trying to text your roommates back about dinner plans, your books knocking all over the floor. You apologized profusely, feeling awful for running into someone because you couldn’t get your head out of your phone. The stranger, who later introduced himself as Matthew, assured you it was fine and helped you pick up your books. You introduced yourself to him, thanking him for the help and making a light joke about how you weren’t paying attention. The two of you went your separate ways, but your mind wandered about the blue eyed stranger you’d run into that day.

The second time was definitely just a coincidence, and you were sure of that. You were grabbing a quick coffee before class, something you were in dire need of after your roommates came home well past midnight from a night out while you decided to stay in and study. You were waiting for your drink when you heard your name called from behind you. You turn around and meet Matthew’s eyes, laughing about how’d you run into each other just a couple of days later. The two of you made small talk, you explaining that you were just headed to class and him explaining he was grabbing an after practice coffee. When you asked him what sport he played, he looked at you in shock and laughed, explaining that he played for the Flames, you reluctantly admitted that you didn’t follow hockey much anymore, being just too busy. Your conversation ended quickly when you realized you had to run to class, telling Matthew you’d see him around even though you were sure you probably never would.

The third time was starting to feel like the universe was telling you something. You’d gone out with your roommates, celebrating a successful end to the fall semester. You were going to grab another drink when you felt someone grab your arm, when you turned around, ready to tell this guy to lay off, you’re met with a familiar pair of blue eyes. Matthew cracked a joke about how you’d seen him more times in the past week or so than his family and offered to buy you a drink. You took it, standing at the bar and talking to him for the rest of the night. You talked about school, your major, and your roommates. He told you about playing for the Flames, and how much he loved being in Calgary. When his teammates walked over to the two of you, chirping Matthew about talking to you, and when you roasted his teammate right back, Matthew told you that he was positive he was going to have a new best friend.

Matthew wasn’t kidding, finally getting your number at the bar that night and never leaving you since. It was slow, he started by inviting you out with his teammates after games, the boys becoming a permanent part of your life. Then you went to your first Flames game, in which Matthew scored twice and made you promise to never miss a home game after. After that, you were complaining about how loud your roommates could be when you really needed to get some work done, so Matthew gave you a key to his place so you could go there even if he was away. Matthew would send take out to your apartment if you’d had a particularly bad day or you would go over to his and cook for the both of you. He’d been there to help you study for finals, even though he didn’t have a clue about what you were talking about. You’d been there when the Flames got knocked out of the first round of the playoffs, holding Matthew while he ranted and raved about the game and how badly he wished they’d won. You went out to dinner with his parents when they came to town, you’d even made a trip to St. Louis over the summer. From an outsider’s perspective, and from the perspective of every person in your life, it seemed like you two were dating, but you felt like that ship had sailed and if it was going to happen it would’ve already.

You shake the memories of your friendship with Matthew out of your head as you turn the key to his apartment, sneaking in with the obnoxious decorations you’d bought. Yesterday, Matthew called you to let you know his contract was almost done and that he’d be back to Calgary for training camp the next day. You were excited, the contract debacle taking up more stress in your life than you’d liked. You’d sent the stuff down on his kitchen island, tying the red balloons you’d bought to one of the chairs and setting out the cake you’d bought that just says, “Congrats on getting PAID.” You hear the door creak open, and Matthew set his bag down by the door.

“Oh this is something,” Matthew chuckles, laughing at the small celebration you’d put together.

“Thought I’d welcome you back,” You laugh as he runs over to pull you into a hug.

“I really don’t deserve you,” He says, “Is that cake?”

“It is,” You smile, walking into the kitchen and pulling the groceries you’d bought to cook the both of you some dinner, “and dinner.”

“I really really don’t deserve you,” Matthew repeats, always appreciative of things you did to take care of him. Not that you minded it at all, the access to the quiet of Matthew’s apartment was enough to justify a few dinners, let alone when the two of you went out and Matthew insisted on paying the bill. While you never felt like you owed him anything, it definitely made you feel less guilty when you were doing something for him - even if it is just stopping him from eating out every night.

“You don’t, I know,” You joke, hip bumping him out of your way so you could grab a cutting board from his cabinet.

Matthew was over to the seats on the island, sitting in the one you’d decorated, “You’re going to be at our first home game right?”

“Of course, I planned my entire day around it,” You admit, knowing you’d made a silly promise to Matthew that you’d never miss a home game, “Why? Worried you’re going to bomb without me there?”

“I mean, yeah. I just-” Matthew starts, sighing, “After waiting for this deal and stuff I don’t want anyone to think it was a mistake.”

You didn’t realize your joke had actually struck a nerve. When you first became friends you didn’t think Matthew doubted his play or himself ever. He had a blind confidence, and he never let a mistake take over his whole game. It was something you actually admired, wondering if you could ever be that confident in yourself. But, when the Flames lost in the first round of the playoffs, and you’d gone to his place after the game, Matthew turned into a sad shell of a man in front of your eyes. That night you realized how much actually got to him, and while he listed off the mistakes he made in the series you’re heart broke with every word he said. The Canadian media wasn’t always easy, and it really bothered Matthew more than you think he even knew.

You turn around from the stove, “There’s not one person who doesn’t think you deserve your contract, and if they don’t I’ll personally tell them to fuck off.”

Matthew laughs, and your heart skips a beat, “I think I can do without you trying to fight anyone.” “Why? I’m absolutely terrifying,” You joke, your small frame wasn’t scary at all, but you weren’t about to let that stop you.

“You know what? You’re right,” Matthew says sarcastically.

“In all seriousness,” You start walking around the island to wrap your arms around Matthew’s shoulders, “I’ll always be proud of you.” Matthew tucks his head into your arms muttering a low thank you. The two of you spent the night together, catching up on your summers over the dinner you made. He told you about the trips he’d gone on, and his summer antics. You’d gone on about the vacation’s you’d gone on, and the time you spent with your family.

October 2019

You walked arm and arm with Brittney, Sean’s girlfriend, into the Saddledome for the Flames home opener. It was Saturday night, and you knew with the Kings coming to town on Tuesday the boys would definitely be celebrating their first win of the season if they came out on top tonight. You were excited, hoping they’d be able turn it around before it became a losing streak. You head up to your usual seats, walking into the family boxes with Brittany, all of the team’s significant others and families out for the first home game of the season. After finally grabbing a drink and sitting down you look down at the nice, spotting Matthew’s mop of hair buzzing around the ice.

“So anything change over the summer?” Brittany asks when she sees you looking at Matthew on the ice, a curious look on her face.

“Still best friends,” You say, shaking your head at her comment. You’d heard it a million times, about how Matthew needed to have you at his games, sitting with the rest of the team’s families or how you were always at his place or vice-versa but you assured everyone who asked that you were just friends - because you were.

“Okay but you can be best friends and date, you guys know that right?” Brittany says, trying to make you see it from her point of view.

“Britt, I really mean it, we’re just friends,” You shrug, not really in the mood to continue defending yourself. You ignore the knowing look she gives you, already knowing that her usual comeback would be asking you why you’re getting so defensive.

By the time the third period rolled around, the Flames were up 3-0 and you were sure this was going to end as a win. When the period was finally over, you headed down to the locker with Brittany to wait for Matthew to head out. 

He barreled out of the locker room, scanning the room to find you, running over and hugging you tightly, “We wonnn.”

You knew he was running on an adrenaline rush that he only ever got out of winning, “You did, are we going out tonight?”

“We are Y/N, Chucky can stay home,” You hear Sam Bennett’s voice behind you.

“Sam, what makes you assume I want to spend time with you?” You quip back before Matthew even has a chance to defend himself.

“You guys are really meant to be, you’re both cold as hell,” Sam says, shaking his head at the two of you.

You ignore Sam’s comment, turning to Matthew, “Ready to go?”

Matthew nods, leading the way to his car in the parking garage at the arena. You both slide in, you immediately grab his phone to change the music.

“You know it’s my car,” He says, already knowing you controlled the music in every car ride you took, despite who was driving.

“You know I don’t care,” You say back immediately, “Do you want to drop off your car?”

“No, you drink, I’ll just have a beer,” Matthew says, never wanting to let himself get too drunk if you were going to, afraid something might happen to you.

“But you guys won-” You start to protest only to be immediately cut off.

“But you had class all week, and don’t think I didn’t hear you stress crying after I went to bed the other night,” Matthew says, immediately shutting you up. You had a long week, and the idea of getting to go out with the safety net of Matthew taking care of you didn’t sound terrible.

“Fine, you win,” You say as you pull up to the bar you were meeting the rest of the team at. You walked in, immediately spotting Brittany and Sean from afar, walking over them wrapping Brittany in a hug.

“I’m really happy you guys are all back in town,” You say, still a little tipsy from the drinking you’d done at the game.

“Happy to see all of us, or just Chucky,” Sean says, giving you a look.

“Enough with that,” You snap, already having heard it from his girlfriend.

“Enough with what?” Matthew says, stepping behind you placing a drink in your hand.

“Nothing, Sean’s being a moron,” You say, leaning into his chest when he places a protective arm across your chest.

The rest of the night was an eventful one to say the least. You’d danced with the girls, Sam made you take more shots than a person should, and it was safe to say you were drunk to say the least. You finally walk back over to the table that Matthew was sitting at, talking to Noah.

“Matty, can you grab me another drink?” You ask, trying to convince him so you didn’t have to. You knew it wouldn’t take much and he nods and takes your empty glass without a second thought. 

Once Matthew was out of earshot, Noah turns to you, “You’ve really got him wrapped your finger.”

“Noah -” You start to defend yourself again.

“Don’t Noah me,” Noah immediately cuts you off, “Admit it, you have to see what everyone else sees.”

“You know what? I do and yes, it confuses the shit out of me but Noah, I like Matthew, a lot, but I don’t think he feels the same way about me,” Your drunken confession slips, your hand immediately covering your mouth that you actually admitted it.

Noah looks at you, eyes wide in surprise, “Oh my god, I was right?”

You start to give him a lecture about prying into your business before he cuts you off, “Your secret’s safe with me.”

You smile, “Thanks Noah.”

Matthew comes back and hands you a water despite you asking him for another drink, you roll your eyes, knowing he’s just decided to cut you off before you got messy.

“Ready to go?” You ask, sipping the water.

“Whenever you are, are you going home or staying by me?” Matthew asks and you notice Noah shaking his head at the two of you.

“Home, I need to spend my Sunday studying,” You say, leaning back into Matthew from the barstool you were sitting on.

Matthew nods, grabbing your hand and walking you back out to his car, opening the door for you to slide in. The drive back to your place was short, and you wished it was longer, admiring how the streetlights made Matthew look incredibly handsome. You knew the small crush that you’d been haboring since you met him only made it’s special guest appearance after you’d been drinking, and you were going to let it take over even just for the night. When Matthew stops in front of your building, he tosses his car into park so he can walk you to your door, even though you always insist nothing awful will probably happen to you between then and the minute elevator ride up to your floor. 

When you step in front of your door you wrap your arms around Matthew’s waist, tucking your head into his chest, “Thank you for always taking care of me.”

You feel him place a small kiss on your head, something he did often, “Anytime, get some sleep okay?”

You nod, “Text me when you’re home Matthew,” You say, using his full name to make yourself sound more serious. He laughs and heads back to the elevator while you walk into your apartment, walking into your bedroom and slipping one of Matthew’s old London Knights shirts on, passing out immediately.

November 2019

With November came an enormous amount of stress, the Flames weren’t playing up to their usual standards, losing five games on the road. Matthew was grouchy to say the least, you were always trying to cheer him up but there was only so much you could do while he was gone. You weren’t in the best mood either, the stress from school starting to build up. You’d spent more nights crying from stress in the comfort of Matthew’s empty apartment more than you’d admit to anyone, never quite feeling like you could catch up with all of your work. Which is why you were sitting on Matthew’s couch, head in your hands while you tried to finish the paper you had due at midnight when you hear him finally come home from his road trip, dropping his bag at the door with a bang, causing you to jump.

“Oh, I didn’t know you were here,” Matthew says, in a harsher tone he usually used. You could tell the losing streak was starting to get to him, his shoulders were tight, and the bags under his eyes were prominent.

“Do you not want me to be?” You say, while Matthew never complained when you were at his place, you did understand if he wanted to be alone.

“No you’re fine,” He says, “Are you going to come to my game tomorrow?” Your heart sunk, you wanted to, but you couldn’t justify spending a night at the Saddledome watching him play when you had so much work to finish before the chaos of finals started. You look at his sad eyes, afraid you might upset him if you said no.

“Matty, I have so much work I have to do, I don’t think I can,” You say, closing your eyes as if that would lessen the blow, you open one, seeing Matthew’s face crushed in front of you.

“It’s fine,” He says, the words not sounding like anything was okay at all, “We’ll just lose - again.”

“Don’t put that on me,” You defend, not wanting to feel guiltier than you are, “You miss shit in my life all the time because you’re gone.”

You regretted the words as soon as you said it. It didn’t matter if Matthew was there or not, anything important in your life, he made sure you knew he was proud of you. If it wasn’t a flood of texts, it was a bouquet of flowers to your door. He made sure you never felt like he forgot about you while he was gone, and you knew you were just acting out.

You hear Matthew sigh, a sign he was trying to keep his temper in check, “Maybe you should just go.” “I will,” You say, gathering your things and heading towards the door, turning back to him one more time, “For the record, you’ll be fine whether or not I’m there or not.”

--

You didn’t sleep that night - at all. Your mind replayed that stupid little argument you had gotten into with Matthew. You’d never actually fought with him, sure you bickered, but as soon as you’d call him out on his shit, he would let it go and that would be it. He looked so hurt by your words, and you knew you owed him an apology. You tried calling, texting, you even sent him an email, but he was ignoring you and you knew it. 

You lay on your bed, typing a paper for one of your classes while watching the Flames game, the Flames down against the Avs 3-2. You watched as Matthew got sent to the box, for the third time that evening, finally breaking his stick when he sat down. You knew he was frustrated, and you couldn’t help but feel like you might have had something to do with it. You turn the game off with five minutes left, not wanting to see Matthew’s face after they lost their sixth game in a row. You finally finish your paper, setting your laptop down and getting ready for bed. You slip into bed, ready to finally try and get some sleep when you hear Matthew’s voice from your living room, your roommate telling him that you were in bed. 

He opens your bedroom door, poking his head through, “Can I come in?”

You nod, watching as he steps into your room, still in his gameday suit. He lays down, immediately putting his head into your lap, while your hands move to play with his curls.

“I’m sorry,” You whisper, not wanting to break the silence in your room.

“You don’t need to be,” He says, “You were right - you always are.”

“Not always,” You smile, watching as his eyes close under your touch, “Do you want to stay here? We can watch a movie - whatever you want.” Matthew smiles and you knew you’d said the right thing, knowing that after a bad game it’s better to distract him until he finally opens up, “Can I have sweats?”

“Open my top drawer,” You say, “It’s mostly your clothes anyways.”

Matthew laughs, opening the dresser and realizing how many pairs of sweatpants and hoodies you’d actually stolen from him. It wasn’t your fault he has the comfiest hoodies known to man, and that he always offered them to you when it got cold. He steps into your bathroom to change, coming back out and climbing into your bed, pulling you closer to him so you could snuggle into his chest, grabbing your remote and throwing on a movie on Netlifx.

You don’t remember falling asleep, but somewhere halfway through the movie you finally knocked out for the first time in two days, wrapped up in Matthew’s arms. The two of you blocking out the noise from the outside world.

December 2019

With December comes the craziness of finals, but you weren’t about to let it stop you from celebrating Matthew’s birthday in the most ridiculous way you could think of. You’d set up a full on surprise party, using Noah as your partner in crime. The Flames were lucky enough to have a Sunday off, allowing you to have Noah keep Matthew out of his apartment all day so you could decorate. You went all out with decorations and invited everyone you knew was important to him - even having some of his friends from St. Louis fly up for the occasion. 

“I can’t believe you’re doing all of this for someone you’re not even dating,” You hear Brittany say, handing you the other half of the Happy Birthday banner you’d bought. 

“He literally flew me out to St. Louis over the summer for my birthday,” You say, “I think the least I could do is throw a party.”

Brittany shakes her head at you, distracted by Sean carrying in drinks before she could make a comment about how you spent your birthday with Matthew and his family. You greeted all of the guests as they arrived, waiting for Noah’s text that him and Matthew were on their way. Once you got the text, you had everyone hide out, shutting off all of the lights. You hear them come up the hallway, opening the door to Matthew’s place. You all jump out and yell surprise, promptly scaring the birthday boy. He smiles at you, knowing you were the only person who wanted to make a big deal out his birthday in the first place.

“Thank you,” He says, stepping over to you after he greets everyone at the party.

“How did you know it was me?” You joke, “It could’ve been Sam.”

“Because when I told you I didn’t want to do anything for my birthday, you proceeded to tell me that’s fine,” Matthew says, “and I know you were lying.”

You laugh, he was always able to tell whether or not you were lying from your body language alone. It made it easier to just tell him how you were feeling, even if you didn’t want to.

The party was dwindling down by the time you saw Matthew again, his body swaying indicating that he was definitely drunk. You laugh, getting the last groups of guests to head out so you could clean up and get Matthew to bed.

Once you shut the door, pushing Sam and Noah out while they made jokes about you and Matthew walking down the hallway, you turn around to see Matthew grabbing himself a water.

“Alright birthday boy, let’s get you to bed,” you say, trying to move his much larger frame into his bedroom. You’d only ever had to do it once before, a night out after the Flames clinched their playoff spot last season that ended in Matthew puking outside of the bar, and you were sore from trying to haul him to bed.

“Will you stay?” He says when you finally get him to sit on his bed.

“I mean, I planned on it,” you say, gesturing to your bag that was in it’s usual spot in his guest room.

“No in here,” He argues back, crossing his arms like a child. You knew you shouldn’t give in, and you knew climbing into bed with him was only going to make that small crush worse, the crush already growing from the last time you’d slept in the same bed as him. 

You sigh, walking over to his dresser to grab him some clothes, tossing them over to him, “I’m just going to go change.”

You walk across the hall to his guest room, slipping out of the jeans you’d been wearing and throwing on a pair of shorts and one of Matthew’s t-shirts. You tossed your hair in a bun, opening the door to Matthew’s room, seeing him in bed waiting for you. You smile, sliding into bed and cuddling yourself into Matthew’s chest as soon as you laid down.

“Thank you for the party,” Matthew whispers, hands twirling the ends of your hair.

“I told you, it wasn’t me,” You joke, finally letting sleep take over you.

January 2020

When Matthew got voted into the All Star Game, you made sure to tell him an obnoxious amount of time. You also insisted on blaring “All Star” by Smash Mouth in his apartment for an entire week before he told you he was going to take his spare key back if you didn’t stop. What you didn’t expect, was for him to insist you at least came for the actual weekend of the game. But once you found out that Brady was also playing in the game, you decided you should probably make the trip down.

You arrived Friday morning, Matthew making some time in the craziness of the weekend to pick you up from the airport, having you stay with him at his parent’s house. You arrive in the mass chaos of the Tkachuk household, his mom scrambling to get everything ready for the party they planned on having after the game on Saturday. You set your bag down, immediately running into the kitchen to see Brady and Taryn.

“Matt, you can leave now,” Brady says, wrapping you in a tight hug, “We’d much rather have Y/N here.” You laugh, missing the dynamic of seeing Matthew around his family. He was always more relaxed when he was with his family, even though he’d never admit that he actually did miss them during the season.

“Brady she’s my best friend,” Matthew says, grabbing your hand and pulling you into his chest.

“To be fair, I like Taryn more than both of you,” You mutter between the bickering boys.

You spend your Friday running around with Matthew’s mom, helping her with the party as much as you could. You enjoyed your time with her, knowing that it made Matthew happy to see how much his parents like having you around. Friday and Saturday seem like a blur, the craziness of the All Star Game taking over. You spent most of the time with Taryn and the rest of Matthew’s family that came to town, many of whom you’d met the last time the Sens came into town. You finally arrive back at the Tkachuk’s Matthew riding the high from winning the actual game.

Once the party was in full swing you were dragged around the house by Matthew, introducing you to players he’s played with in the past. You had a long conversation with Mitch Marner, who you found out Matthew actually played with when he played for the London Knights. You spent the night of some of the best athletes in the world and you couldn’t help but wonder why Matthew kept you around when he kept company like his friends who played around the league.

You step in Matthew’s bedroom, trying to take a moment for yourself. You look in the mirror, and sigh, just not sure of why you were there in the first place. It didn’t happen much anymore, but every once in a while the thoughts of not being good enough found themselves creeping in your mind. You couldn’t help it, as your hands started to shake, you heard the door open and Matthew step into his room.

“You alright?” He asks, sitting on the edge of his bed.

“Why are you friends with me?” You ask harshly.

“What’s this about Y/N?” He asks, confused at your tone.

“I mean, you just, all of the people in your life are these accomplished athletes and are insanely good at what they do, and for some reason you choose to spend all of your time with someone who cries every time they get too stressed out,” You rant out, worried about how Matthew would react to what you were saying. You’d never let him in on this part of you, the part that’s doubtful and scared that one mistake could ruin everything you’ve ever worked for.

You feel Matthew grab your hand, pulling you down to sit on the bed. He kneels in front of you, wiping away the stray tear that had fallen, “I don’t want to spend my time with anyone besides you, please don’t ever think differently. You’re funny and smart and you care about every person in your life even if they don’t deserve it. You’re my best friend, and I don’t want you to feel like this ever.” You smile, trying to hide the butterflies you feel in your stomach when Matthew’s thumb grazes your cheeks to try and calm you down.

“Do you want to stay in here and hangout for the rest of the night, just the two of us?” Matthew whispers, not wanting to break the comfortable silence between you two.

You nod, climbing into his bed and waiting for him to join you, putting on a movie and pulling you into his arms. You knew there was a giant party going on outside of those four walls of Matthew’s childhood bedroom, but nothing could be better than laying in his arms just the two of you.

February 2020

After the All Star Game, you threw yourself into your schoolwork knowing Matthew was headed on a two week road trip. You’d spent the two weeks catching up on an enormous amount of work, so you wouldn’t have to worry about it once Matthew finally got back to Calgary. You were grabbing a coffee before your class, when your phone rang in your pocket - Matthew’s caller ID appearing on the screen.

“Helllllo,” You answer, excited to hear his voice - even if it was just over the phone.

“Hey, do you have plans for Valentine’s Day?” He asks.

“I do not,” you say, knowing for a fact Matthew knew you didn’t.

“We have this Flames gala thing and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me?” He asks, and you can hear Johnny and Sam chirping him in the background.

“Matthew, that’s in like two days!” You say, scolding him for not asking you sooner so you could find a dress.

“I know, I just kind of forgot about asking you, I told the team I was taking you though,” He defends, knowing he said he was bringing a date before he even bothered to ask you.

“Yes I will go, but please remember to give me some WARNING next time,” You sigh into the phone, “Now if you’ll let me go, I need to go find a dress.”

“I keep an extra card in my nightstand, use it,” Matthew says, “And before you say no, consider it a gift for not killing me for telling you last minute.”

Initially you laugh, knowing Matthew kept an extra debit card in his apartment because he lost his more frequently than a normal person should, but once his words settled in you began the usual protest you gave him when it came to money, “Matthew…” you start, ready to explain to him that you don’t need him spending ridiculous amounts of money on you.

“Y/N, just take it,” He says, “I’m really too tired for this one.”

You sigh, “Fine, but this is the last time.” “Whatever you say, I’ll tell Brittany to make sure you use it,” He says, and you knew he wasn’t kidding, “Bye.”

You mutter a goodbye back, texting Brittany that you were in dire need of an emergency shopping experience before the Gala on Friday. She laughed when you called, already having received a text from Matthew to make sure that she made you use his card.

The night of the gala you head to Matthew’s, carrying your dress and all of the things you knew you would need to get ready, tossing them in his guest room when you arrive. You head into the bathroom, promptly starting with your makeup when you heard him get in from the rink, yelling about how he was going to shower and heading into his room. You finally set your hair into loose curls and start to step into your dress. The off the shoulder black dress stopped right above your knees and fit you like a glove. Brittany didn’t even tell you how much is cost, grabbing it and paying for it on Matthew’s card before you could even look. But, the way it made you feel outweighed the guilt you felt. You slip on the nude heels you chose to wear, and call Matthew in to help clasp your necklace.

“Wow,” He says, stepping behind you, fastening the necklace to your neck, “You look beautiful.”

“Thanks Matty,” You say, turning out to take in the suit he was wearing. When you told him you decided to get something black, he was excited having had a dark maroon suit in his closet he wanted to wear, “You look alright I guess.” “I look alright?” He asks, lightly tickling at your sides, “You’re such a brat.”

You laugh, “You look super handsome, happy?”

He nods, grabbing your hand and leading you out to his car. The Gala was in full swing when you arrived, the room filled with his teammates, fans, and other important people in the city.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” You hear Noah’s voice behind you while Matthew was over having a conversation with one of the team’s trainers who was at the event.

“What Noah?” You ask, ready for the comment about Matthew taking you as his date.

“You look like that and Chucky still won’t lock you down? He’s really dumber than I thought,” Noah says, gesturing to you.

“Don’t you have a date you should be complimenting?” You say back, knowing Noah had brought some girl to the event, even though they were never around long.

“Not one that looks as good as you,” Noah says, “So, still got that little crush.”

“Yes and I’m done talking about it,” You say, watching Noah’s hands go up in defeat as Matthew steps behind you.

“Do you want to dance?” Matthew asks, ignoring the face Noah was giving him for being so gentle with you.

You nod, grabbing his hand and following him out to the dancefloor. You place your arms around his neck while his move to your hips, swaying to the music. You look behind you, seeing Noah smirking at the two of you while dancing with his own date. You throw up your middle finger, not letting Matthew notice. The two of you spend the night with each other, dancing and having Matthew introduce you to a lot of people who were working in the front office with the team that you’d never met before. You couldn’t help but feel like something was changing between the two of you, especially when he kept his hand on your lower back while walking through the gala, or his hand gently stroking your thigh while you guys sat at your table.

March 2020

You never talked about how you spent your Valentine’s Day romantically slow dancing with your best friend at a Gala his team was throwing after that night. You couldn’t tell if thing’s had actually changed between the two of you, or if it was a result of the romantic atmosphere. Thing’s with Matthew had returned back to the normal routine, with the Flames in the middle of their playoff push, Matthew was around less, spending more and more time at the rink. You understood, taking the time to spend some time with your friends that weren’t him.

You finally both had a day off, deciding that you’d head over to his place to cook the both of you dinner. You arrive at his place before he does, placing your bags down and getting straight to cooking. You hear him come in, humming at the smells of the food.

“Hey stranger,” He says, joking about the fact that you haven’t been spending as much time together as you usually did.

“Oh please, you talked to me about your practice today on the phone for an hour, you’re hardly starved for attention,” You say, calling him out for being dramatic.

“I need all of your attention or I might actually die,” He says, wrapping you in a hug, “So what’s been up with you?” “Same old same old, this guy from my class asked me out on a date, I haven’t told him yes or no,” You shrug, moving back to cooking dinner.

“No,” He says, instantly, and you turn off the oven, turning around to face him.

“No?” You ask.

“I mean- uh- fuck,” He stutters, “You can’t go on a date with that guy I’m sure you’re too good for him.”

You roll your eyes, crossing your arms, “Matthew I know you live in a world where you don’t want me to get hurt, but I can’t not date because you don’t want me to.”

“I know, I just-” He starts before you cut him off.

“You what Matthew? Give me one damn good reason why I shouldn’t go out with this guy,” You snap back.

“Because I want you to date me,” He says quietly, “I wanted this to be better, you deserve it to be perfect, but I love you so much, and I can’t keep denying it any longer. I love when you spend all of your time here because I love spending time with you. I love that you get along with my teammates, and my family. I love when you get dressed up to go out, because I get to walk around with the most beautiful girl in the world under my arm. I was just terrified you didn’t feel the same way and that you’d hate me. Then when we were dancing at the Gala it felt different, like you were as into me as I’m into you.”

You uncross your arms, walking around the island to stand in front of him, placing your arms around his neck, “That might have been the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard in my life.” “Really? Cause I think I could do better-” Matthew starts, but you cut him off by pressing your lips to his. His hands move to cup your face, kissing you back slowly, the two of you melt into each other like you’d been made for each other all along.

“I love you too,” You mutter against his lips, feeling him smile.

“You’re not gonna go on that date right?” He whispers, leaning his forehead against yours.

You laugh, “No, there’s only person I want taking me out on a date,” you joke, placing another kiss to his lips.

“Sounds like a lucky guy,” Matthew jokes back, kissing you again, solidifying how truly right it feels to finally be together.

[calamitykaty]

Soulmates

Reggie Peters x Fem Reader

Word count:3000+

A sweet fic for my sweet soulmate @alexpjoyner

Y/N sat tucked away in the corner of the coffee shop, her glasses perched at the tip of her nose and her eyebrows pinched together making her worry lines stand out. The yellow #2 pencil that was in her left hand was being gnawed at by her teeth. The small circle table was littered with textbooks and loose-leaf paper, coffee stains evident on her English assignment.

 Her attention was broken by the loud laughter that followed a set of rowdy teenage boys. Her eyes briefly met the eyes belonging to the leather-clad boy, Reggie, before she let them fall back to her assignment, a light blush dusting her cheeks. 

She knew all about Reggie, everyone did. He was only the overly confident and extremely handsome bassist for Sunset Curve, and he happened to attend her high school. Y/N like to think that she wasn’t just part of the status-quo but she too had a school-girl crush on Reggie. 

“Hola, Chica!” 

Y/N dropped her pencil into the fold of her book and closed the cover as her best friend, Rose, pushed her papers back towards her and sat down. 

“I know I’m pretty but why are you blushing?” 

“I’m not blushing…”

Rose let her eyes roam around the small room before her eyes landed on the most likely culprit. 

“I don’t know why you don’t just talk to him, y/n.” 

Y/N tucked a stray hair that had fallen into her face back behind her left ear with one hand while the other pushed her glasses back up the bridge of her nose. She glanced over at Reggie,  his back facing hers and his hands gesturing excitedly as he explained something to his bandmates, though from the looks on their faces they weren’t nearly as enthused as him. 

“...because...he’s him...and I’m,” Y/n threw her hands up, gesturing at herself, “I’m me.” 

Rose rolled her eyes at her friend’s explanation or lack thereof. “Okay, one-” Rose held up her pointer finger, “he’s not nearly as cool as you seem to think he is and two--” she lifted her middle finger, “you being you is the best, you’re smart, you’re funny, you’re pretty---”

“And you’re obligated to say those things as my best friend so….” Y/N huffed out stubbornly.

Rose’s lips were stretched into a tight line as she pushed her chair back against the beige tiled floor, her eyes set on the group of noisy boys. 

“W-what are you doing?” Y/N asked, panicked. 

Rose ignored her friend and let her feet carry her over to the boys. She propped her left elbow up on Bobby’s shoulder. The brown-haired boy looked up at her from where he was seated and smiled, “Hey, Ro!” 

“Yeah, Ro, hey!” Luke chortled, his eyebrows dancing and his eyes locked on Bobby. Alex jabbed his elbow into the shaggy-haired boy’s ribs, eliciting a quiet “Ow!” 

“Anyways,” Rose rolled her eyes, “I’m gonna bring a friend to watch your band practice tonight.”

“Are you asking or?” Alex probed. 

“Not really!” Rose let her elbow drop from Bobby’s shoulder and sauntered back across the cafe to Y/N’s table. 

“They said you can come to band rehearsal tonight,” Rose said matter of factly, sliding back into her chair. 

Y/N shook her head vigorously, “No, nope….No! Absolutely not!” 

“You have to! They’re expecting you and it would be rude if you didn’t show.” Rose half-shrugged and burst into a fit of giggles at the scowl that Y/N shot her way. 

‘“Stop meddling in my life….” Y/N grumbled, her arms crossed tightly across her chest and the tops of her ears tinged pink. She gathered her papers into a neat pile and placed them inside the textbook before dropping everything into her backpack. 

“So...this means you’re going, right?” Rose drummed on both of her knees excitedly.

Y/N pushed her chair back and slung her backpack over her left shoulder before sliding the chair back in. She purposefully ignored the question until they both stood outside of the cafe. She stopped and turned to Rose, staring at her with a deadpan expression as the girl bounced on her toes. 

“What time?” 

Rose lunged at her and wrapped her arms around her shoulders, squealing “7pm! It’s gonna be great!!!” 

Several hours later, Y/N found herself standing outside of Bobby’s detached garage. She was an hour late and she could hear the four teens already practicing inside. She nervously wrung her hands together and took a deep breath, slowly exhaling before she pulled the doors open. She could feel her ears burning as all four boys stopped playing at separate times and stared at her. Her eyes quickly darted to Rose who was perched on top of the sofa. 

Rose hopped off of the sofa and skipped over to Y/N, throwing her arm around her shoulders and pulling her into the garage. 

“Boys!” Rose chirped, “this is Y/N,” she dropped her arm from Y/N’s shoulders and held both hands out showing Y/N off like a prize on The Price is Right. Y/N awkwardly threw her right hand up and waved at the four boys. 

“I’m Lu--”

“You don’t have to introduce yourselves, I know who you guys are!” Y/N rushed out as Luke began to introduce himself. She could feel the red of her ears move down to her neck as the embarrassment moved through her body. She tucked her hair behind her ear and looked over at Rose, pleading for her to save her. 

“You guys can continue, we’ll just be over here ignoring you!” Rose pursed her lips and grabbed her elbow, pulling her over to the sofa. 

Y/N sunk down into the soft cushions of the sofa and bobbed her head as the boys started from the second verse of Now or Never. She tried her best to keep her eyes on her lap but every now and then she would look up and let her eyes gravitate towards Reggie who would shoot her a wink. 

“Someone can’t keep his eyes off of you,” Rose sang out to Y/N. 

“Shut up!” Y/N hissed quietly and threw her elbow into Rose’s side. 

“I’m just sayin’” Rose wiggled her eyebrows at the girl, drawing a rosy blush to Y/N’s cheeks. 

Y/N looked over at Reggie as he set his bass guitar down into the stand before he wiped the sweat from his forehead. 

“Go talk to him!” Rose urged and pushed against her friend's shoulder. 

“About what? I hardly know him!” Y/n argued, stubbornly. 

“Reg!” Rose called out, grabbing the boys attention. Reggie turned around and lifted his eyebrows at Rose in question. 

Rose looked over at Y/N before looking back at Reggie and smiling, “did you know that Y/N holds the top score on Centipede at The Basement Arcade?” 

Reggie furrowed his brows and crossed his arms over his chest, “that can’t be true! I just took that spot last week!” 

“So you’re the RP that keeps fighting me for the top spot then?” Y/N narrowed her eyes at the boy but couldn’t stop the laugh that followed her question. 

Reggie let his arms fall to his sides and looked at her with his mouth agape, “ I challenge you! I challenge you to an arcade face off tomorrow at 6pm!” 

“Okay?” Y/N agreed unsurely.

“It’s a date then!” Reggie declared before walking over to the sofa and holding his hand out to Y/N. She hesitantly placed her hand in his and laughed as Reggie gave it a firm shake. 

“Okay...yeah. It’s a date.” Y/N agreed and let her hand fall back into her lap. 

“Looks like my work here is done!” Rose teased and pulled herself up from the sofa. She grabbed Y/N’s hands and pulled her up as well. 

Y/N said goodbye to each of the boys and was nearly out of the garage when Reggie called out 

“Wait! What’s your address? I’ll pick you up!” 

-------

They were surrounded by flashing lights, the sound of buzzers and pinball paddles being jammed harshly filled the room of the small arcade. Y/N looked over at Reggie as he lunged the small orange basketballs as fast as possible towards the hoop, his brows furrowed as he concentrated. A small frown formed on his face as the balls continuously hit the rim and bounced back towards him.

 The clock counted down the last 15 seconds and Reggie picked up the pace, throwing the balls at increased speed in hopes of getting several more points. He hadn’t even noticed that Y/N had stopped tossing her basketballs a good 45 seconds before him or that she had sunk nearly every basket that she threw or that she was easily beating his score before she bowed out to give him a chance. She had already beaten him at air hockey, overtook his top score on Centipede, and embarrassed him at skeeball. 

The buzzer on the machine rang out and Reggie anxiously looked at his score before leaning over to look at hers.

 An ecstatic smile lit up his face and he threw his hands in the air above his head in triumph and shouted “FINALLY!”

Y/N burst into giggles at the boy, her right hand instinctively covered her mouth. Her bottom front teeth slightly over-lapped and she had always been insecure about it. 

Reggie cocked his head and watched the girl as she laughed. His eyes held adoration at the way her nose crinkled at the top of her bridge and the way her cheeks pushed against her eyes so that they were just barely open. Without a moment of hesitation, he grabbed her hand in his and lowered it from her mouth, his palm felt hot in hers and his fingers slipped into the spaces between hers like a perfect puzzle. 

“I like your smile.” The words pushed against his lips with confidence but his red-tinged ears that accompanied his rosy cheeks gave his nerves away. 

He reached down with his left hand and grabbed the bucket that held their tickets before he tugged y/n towards the counter to turn the tickets in. 

“You could have told me you were so good at arcade games so I wouldn’t be out here embarrassing myself on our first date, ya know.” 

Y/n watched as the teenager behind the counter ran their combined tickets into the ticket counting machine. She looked over at Reggie and smiled, “ I didn’t expect you to be so bad, honestly. Maybe next time we just go play with puppies at Bonnie’s pet store, I’m positive you’d be great at that!”

Reggie dropped her hand in favor of placing both of his hands over his heart, a look of shock on his face at her words before he burst into laughter. 

“350 tickets, you can choose from these three sections.” The red-headed teenager pointed at the different things they could choose from. 

Y/N bounced on her toes and pointed at the small stuffed horse that would take 300 tickets. She pulled it to her chest and looked over at Reggie. 

“You can have the rest!” 

Reggie picked a multi-color friendship bracelet, a Rubik’s cube keychain, and a few pixie sticks. He shoved everything but the bracelet into the pocket of his leather jacket before he reached out for her left wrist. His bottom lip was tugged into his mouth, held by his top teeth as his fingers carefully tied the bracelet around her wrist.

“Your hand is cold...” Reggie stated absentmindedly as he tugged the knot securely, “you wanna grab a hot chocolate?”

Y/N pulled her wrist up to her face and examined the colorful bracelet before letting her arm drop back to her side and nodding, “yeah, that sounds good!”

The pair trekked outside and down the block where Rick’s pop up stand for hot chocolate was set up under a streetlamp. Y/N admired her winnings while Reggie quietly hummed a tune to himself that she had never heard before. 

‘What is that?” Y/N finally asked as the boy started the song over for the third time. 

“What’s what?” Reggie asked, his eyes darting around for what he was supposed to be looking for. 

“No,” y/n giggled, “the song, what’s the song that you’ve been humming.” 

“Oh...that...” Reggie’s right hand ruffled through his hair nervously. 

“Two hot chocolates, please!” Y/N quickly placed two dollars down on the cart before Reggie could. Rick shook his head at the two teens and poured two cups of hot chocolate with whipped topping into two styrofoam cups and handed them over with a “you kids have fun!”

“So?” Y/N looked up at Reggie expectantly as they made their way back towards the arcade. 

"Promise you won't laugh?" 

"I promise to try to not laugh," y/n compromised. 

“I guess I can settle with that,” Reggie nodded and took a deep breath in before he quietly sang out the chorus that he had been humming. 

Home is where my horse is

Riding through trees by the river

Feel that summer breeze, a smile gettin’ bigger

Home is where my horse is

Don’t need a house or a roof

I just lace up my saddle, lace up my boots  

Cuz home is where my horse is

As the last word hung in the air, Reggie quickly brought the cup of hot chocolate to his lips and took a large gulp. Y/N hadn’t laughed so he took that as a good sign as he finally let his head turn to the left to look over at her. 

“Sunset Curve goes country, I can get down with that movement, “ Y/N shrugged. 

“R-r-really?” Reggie sputtered out, hot chocolate dribbling down his chin as he did so. 

“Yeah, I mean..it’s kinda catchy.” Y/N said and began to hum the song to herself, “see, already stuck in my head!” 

“You should come to the next band rehearsal and help me convince the other guys. That’s what I was trying to sell them on at the cafe the other day.” 

Reggie threw his cup into a trash can at the edge of the sidewalk as they walked by. His rosy cheeks became inflamed when the cup hit the rim of the metal can and tumbled to the ground. 

“Careful, if you keep making shots like that I may have to start calling you Jim McIlvaine,” Y/N joked as Reggie sheepishly chased the cup down the sidewalk before tossing it into the trash can. 

“You can call me Larry Bird, though,” she said as she effortlessly tossed her cup into the trash can as she walked backwards. Reggie poked his bottom lip out and pouted as he jogged to catch up with her. 

“Something tells me you let me win that last game in the arcade.” 

Y/N shrugged her shoulders and let a playful smile play on her lips as she said “maybe you just had a sudden rush of NBA prowess in you back then and now it’s gone.”

Reggie slowed his pace as his 1992 silver honda civic came into view, the last car that sat in the arcade parking lot. It was only going to be a ten-minute drive for him to drop Y/N off at her house and he wasn’t quite ready for the night to end. He absentmindedly tossed his keys into the air and caught them several times before stopping at his car. Reggie leaned his back against the passenger's side of the car and looked up at the sky. The lights of the parking lot polluted the view of the stars. 

Y/N stood in front of Reggie with her left hand wrapped around her right wrist and her eyes focused on Reggie’s black boots. 

“I had fun tonight.” She finally said and looked up at the same time that Reggie let his head fall down from the stars, both of their cheeks were glowing with a red hue as their eyes met. 

“I did too,” Reggie agreed, “actually, this is probably the most fun I’ve ever had with anyone outside of the band.”

“You’re not just saying that, right? You actually mean it?” Y/N implored. 

Reggie cocked his head to the side with his brows pulled forward, the line between his brows crinkling. 

‘Of course, I mean it, why wouldn’t I?” 

Y/N let her eyes fall back down to Reggie’s boots as she shrugged, “I dunno, I mean…” she hesitated, slightly embarrassed about being vulnerable in front of him, “you’re...you’re in a band and you’re cool.... I mean...I hang out in the library and people watch. We're practically from different worlds." 

Reggie pushed himself off of the car and closed the distance between the two. He took both of her hands in his and let his fingers fall into the spaces between hers. Y/N felt her heart pounding against her ribcage and prayed that he couldn’t hear it. 

Reggie smiled softly at her before letting his eyes fall down to their intertwined hands for a moment while he gathered his thoughts. 

“I know we don’t know each other that well yet,” he paused to swallow his nerves and licked his dry lips, “but I wish you could see yourself the way that I see you right now in this moment. Because when I look at you, it’s like finding a four leaf clover...like I’ve been searching for you for an eternity and I can’t believe how lucky I am when my eye finally catches you.” 

Y/N slowly tugged her hands free from Reggie’s, the boy was taken aback by the response and opened his mouth to apologize only to find that his words were cut off by her lips crashing clumsily against his. 

“I-I’m sorry!’ Y/N stuttered out as she pulled away. Reggie placed his hand on the nape of her neck and pulled her lips back to his, the kiss slower and with more intention than the first. Both teens pulled away with heaving chests and flushed cheeks. 

Y/N looked down at her watch and looked back up at Reggie, “you know...we do have half an hour before Bonnie’s closes…”

Reggie moved aside and opened the passenger door for her before quickly running around the car to get to the driver’s side. He turned the key several times, the ignition switch fighting back against him before the engine finally turned over. He pushed the cassette the was popper slightky out of the slot back into the player and turned the volume up. 

“you listen to Make Out Monday?!” Y/N exclaimed with excitement as the words I'm kissaphobic don't wanna get too close to you… floated through his partially blown speakers. 

“They're my favorite band!” They both said at the same time and burst into laughter. Y/N reached forward and turned the volume up a tad bit more. Reggie drummed his fingers against the steering wheel as he drove and harmonized with the vocalists while Y/N threw all abandon to the wind and sang off-key alongside him. 

They made it to Bonnie’s with fifteen minutes to spare and rushed towards the pet store. Y/N quickly made her way to the counter and signed the puppy form that would allow them into the puppy play area. 

Reggie watched as several puppies rushed over to Y/N, the girl fell onto her back and laughed as they nipped at her fingers and nudged their cold noses against her skin.

Reggie found himself staring at her with a lopsided smile, adoration in his eyes and a sleeping puppy on his lap. 

Y/N couldn't believe that what started as a hesitant agreement to an unofficial date had turned into the best night of her life. They didn't know it then, but that date would be the start to a life long love affair. 

@straywonpil @siennanoelle01 @choppedhoundsludgeclod @cool-ultra-nerd @hxney-bunches-x @crybabyddl @sorryyoureoutofmyleague @dream-a-little-bigger-x @kcd15 @all-in-fangirl @ifilwtmfc @onlygetaway @iainttakingshitfromnobody @angryknighttreeprune​  @bathtimejish​ @lanasfandoms @miranda0102 @emotionalbruv @aliandthephantoms @multifandombabies @kinda-really-lost @5sosmukefan @alexpjoyner @mo-d3ans @hannahhistorian92 @sunsetcurvenotsunsetswerve @i-should-be-writing-my-own-fic @sunflowerbecca @vicesvsvirtuesfanfic @n0wornever​

[wholesomemendes]

Top of the List

Summary: You’re a junior in college who spends almost all of your time stuck in either your dorm room or the library until you’re forced to go to a frat party where you meet Shawn, who immediately changes your whole college experience. 

Author’s Note: I’m backkkkkk. I am so so excited about this one. This was based off a request I got in like May or something like that basically so insanely long ago and I never got to it because I knew it was going to be long. I kinda went off track with the request too a little bit, but I hope you love it as much as I do. It’s my baby so please be kind (also it’s my birthday so please don’t hurt my feelings too much lol). As always, I love hearing any type of feedback and I love you all x

Word Count: 12.2k

The door of your dorm room slammed open as your roommate rushed inside, frantically throwing her bag onto her bed and rummaging through her closet. You peered over the top of your laptop where you were busy editing an essay you had just finished for a class, watching her distressed state with curious eyes. “What’s going on?”

“What do you mean?” Natalie asked almost breathlessly, settling on a silk, light pink top with a plunging v-neck and a short black skirt.

“Why are you rushing so much? Where are you going?”

You would’ve thought you had grown three heads by the way she looked at you and the way she rolled her eyes when she noticed you were being dead serious made you slightly cave in on yourself in disappointment. “How do you not know what’s going on tonight? Sigma Alpha Epsilon is throwing another one of their huge parties, it’s all everyone has been talking about for the past two weeks.”

“I don’t know, must’ve just gone over my head,” you mumbled, feeling a little self-conscious about your lack of knowledge on what was going on in the social life of your campus. Ninety-nine percent of the time your head was stuck in a book or hunched over your laptop doing homework in the library so it really shouldn’t have been a surprise that this party was nowhere on your radar.

“Well now you know, so you’re going with me. Chop chop you’ve got to get dressed.”

“HA, you think I’m going to a party?”

She raised an eyebrow at you, silently challenging you to disagree with her, “Um, yes you are. Connor invited me which means I’m inviting you because he invites like 20 girls and I don’t want to be stuck alone all night.”

“You’re not going to be alone all night,” you sighed, closing your laptop before swinging your legs off the side of the bed, “You’re popular enough on campus that you’ll be able to find someone to hang out there with if I’m not there.”

“I know, but it’d be more fun if you were there with me. Pleaseeeeeee.” Natalie pulled out her best puppy dog eyes on you, her bottom lip jutting out to make her face look more innocent, “I’ll even do your makeup and hair for you….and you can borrow some of my clothes!”

“What, are my clothes not good enough or something?”

“They are! They’re just a little too, what’s the word I’m looking for, conservative for a party. You need something a little bit scandalous, you know? Gotta give the boys a little something something.” She wiggled her eyebrows at you before letting out a huff of annoyance and getting up to grab your hand to pull you off of the bed, “Come on, no excuses. Let’s get you ready for tonight.”

__________________________

This wasn’t your scene. Natalie had left you to go play beer pong about thirty minutes after you stepped foot into the loud, alcohol-stenched frat house, but you soon lost sight of her when Connor whisked her away after their team won against two other frat boys to what you could only assume would be his bedroom. You didn’t mind that she left you, you’d rather have one of you enjoying yourself then have her be miserable trying to entertain you. The tight shirt and skirt Natalie forced you into didn’t seem like such a bad idea when you were staring at yourself in the mirror of your dorm (to be honest the way she did your hair and makeup gave you a newfound confidence you hadn’t had in years), but now as you stood in the corner of the kitchen quietly nursing your drink while your eyes scanned the crowd of sweaty college students, you couldn’t feel more insecure and self-conscious. Your arms wrapped around your center, desperately trying to cover up what little skin was to be seen and you wished that Natalie would come down those stairs any second to go back to your dorm with you. You were so lost in your thoughts you hardly noticed the stench of beer get stronger around you or the heat of another body on your shoulder until the unknown person was up against you. “Hey,” the boy who you recognized from one of your writing classes and were pretty sure was a part of another fraternity on campus slurred, “You wanna come dance with me, sexy?”

“Um, no I’m ok, thanks though.” You tried to turn and walk away from him, but were stopped abruptly by his hand gripping your wrist and pulling you closer to him again.

“Come on, it’ll be fun,” he breathed into your ear, hot breath fanning across your face in the process making you cringe inward on yourself, “I’d love to feel that ass of yours up against me.”

“I said no, I don’t want to dance with you.” You could feel the panic rising in your throat, causing your words to come out broken and weak, and you desperately wished someone would see the fear in your eyes and come help you. His grip on you tightened the more you resisted and in that moment you wished you had never been stupid enough to listen to Natale about how fun this party was going to be.

“And I said you should come dance with me. So why don’t you-” HIs hand was pried off your wrist in seconds and you rubbed the spot where it had left, holding it close to your chest in fear.

“I think she already said no, buddy.” Your savior came in the form of a curly, brown haired boy that stood at least a couple inches over your unwanted dance partner. A scowl was evident on his face, his brown eyes hard and dark, “Now you should probably get out before I ban you from ever stepping foot in this place again.”  The other boy left, but not before rudely shoulder checking the person you believed was your hero, which only earned him a scoff in return. “God, can’t stand people like that. They have no common decency for anyone.” He made eye contact with you for the first time that night and your heart skipped a beat, your body feeling somewhat small compared to his tall height. He saw the fearful look in your eyes and placed a comforting hand on your shoulder before looking you up and down for any signs of damage from the previous encounter, “Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I am now that you saved me,” you mumbled slightly, lowering your gaze to your cup in order to avoid his worried look, “Thank you, I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t stepped in.”

“Well I’m glad I could help. I’m Shawn, by the way, I don’t think we’ve ever met.” Sticking his hand out for you to shake, he gave you a dazzling smile and you immediately recognized him as the president of the fraternity, the one your roommate was constantly talking about trying to get into his pants. Seeing him up close for the first time, you couldn’t help but understand why all the girls wanted to get with him and why a lot of those girls did get with him. There was a blue bandana wrapped around his head pushing back the beautiful curls that adorned his head and his chiseled jaw and bright eyes entranced you, making it hard to look away. His black t-shirt was frayed at the top near the buttons, allowing his few chest hairs to peak out, and his muscles practically bulged out of the short sleeves. You noticed a few tattoos along his arms, one being the one all of the hockey players got after they won their championship, as you shook his hand, but his strong grip broke you out of your thoughts and forced you to look at him again.

“I’m Y/n.”

“It’s nice to meet you. Do you need another drink? I know where all of the good alcohol is if you want it,” he winked at you, a smug smirk on his lips as he held his hand up to his face as if he was telling you something top secret.

You looked at the almost empty beer in your hand sadly, but the thought of getting another drink absolutely disgusted you at the moment, “No thank you. I think I’m going to head out actually, I’m a little shaken up to be honest.”

“Don’t go because of that!” Shawn’s voice sounded rushed as if he desperately wanted you to stay, though you pushed the thought aside, knowing that he couldn’t care less about what you did. “If you want you can stay by me for the rest of the night or if you came with someone you can always use my name, I’ve learned it can get you a long way sometimes.”

Your eyes met his once again and you tried to push the butterflies that you were feeling down your throat. “I’m just here with my roommate, but I think she went up with one of your friends,” you admitted bashfully, rubbing your hand up and down your arm nervously, “I haven’t seen her in awhile. Parties aren’t exactly my thing, I’m only here because she forced me to come, so I think I’m just going to text her and then head out.”

“You’re going to walk home alone? Do you really think that’s a good idea?”

“I don’t have any better ones right now.”

“Easy. I’ll walk you home.” He leaned against one of the walls comfortably as he spoke, a large smile on his face the entire time. There wasn’t a look of regret on his face, but you still questioned his motives. Why would he want to go out of his way to make sure you got home safe? Was he just trying to get you in bed with him? But if he was then why was he so adamant about getting that guy off of you?

“Don’t worry about it Shawn, really, I’ll be ok.”

“It’s either that or you’re staying in my room tonight so you don’t have to walk home alone.” There was a confident look in his eyes and he knew he had you beat, causing you to roll your eyes before walking past him towards the door.

His eyes followed you curiously as you walked away, watching as you turned around and beckoned him forward, “Come on then, I want to be asleep before 4,” leaving him to trail behind you like a puppy at your feet. __________________________

The two of you walked to your dorms in a mix of comfortable silence and easy conversation that sparked in the 10 minutes it took to get you home. It was surprising how little awkward tension there was for two people on completely different sides of the spectrum who had never met before today, but you wouldn’t trade it for the world. You learned he was majoring in music, something that his parents weren’t one hundred percent confident with, though they still supported him nonetheless he assured you, and that he had been playing hockey since he was 6. The moment you got to the door of your building you stopped, ready to thank him for walking with you and move on with the rest of your night, preferably reading your essay one more time before heading to bed, but Shawn had other plans. “Why’d you stop? Did you forget your key or something?”

“No,” you looked at him with furrowed brows, “I think I can walk up to my dorm myself.”

He crossed his arms defensively with a stern look on his face, “Oh I get it, you don’t want me to know which room you’re in. I saved you from some creep and you still think I’m just like him don’t you."

“It’s not that, I just don’t feel comfortable bringing you up to my dorm after we just met.”

“Which is a big deal because…”

“Isn’t me saying that it makes me uncomfortable enough of a reason?” you asked him, mimicking his position as a tiny bit of anger grew inside of you.

Shawn scoffed, rolling his eyes at your words, “Honey, if I wanted to get you in my bed, you’d already be in there by now. There’s no reason to worry about me doing anything to you if you let me walk you up there.”

“Excuse me? Just because you’ve gotten with the entire cheerleading team…”

“Not true...”

“And at least half of the sorority girls…”

“Half is pushing it a little bit…”

“Doesn’t mean that you’d be able to get with me. I don’t have time for a relationship right now and I don’t do random hookups, thank you very much. So thank you for saving me at the party and thank you for walking me home, but that will be all. Good night, Shawn.” With that you turned on your heels, using your key card before slamming the door in his face and heading up the stairs to your dorm. You couldn’t believe it. Right when you thought you were forming a type of friendship or a least mutual respect for someone that wasn’t your roommate it all fell apart like it always did. What were you thinking when Shawn Mendes was the definition of a frat boy? Why would he want to be friends with someone like you? You couldn’t even lie and say that it didn’t hurt a little when he said he would’ve already tried to get you in bed if he wanted to. Were you really that ugly that the boy who practically got with any female that wanted to didn’t want to get with you? Not that you would sleep with him if he had asked you, you did have an unspoken rule with yourself that you didn’t want to do hookups in college, but at least knowing that he found you attractive would have given you a slight confidence boost. You already hated how you had never been asked out by the boys in college, even though you weren’t exactly looking for a guy or putting yourself out there to be asked on a date, and how every girl seemed to sneer at you when you walked past. So that night you cuddled yourself under the covers, vowing to never step foot in another frat house again no matter how much Natalie begged. __________________________

“What are you doing tonight?” Natalie launched herself onto your bed, causing you to let out a groan when she landed on you.

You pushed her off of you while she laughed, making you roll your eyes, “Probably just binge watching some Netflix honestly. Why?”

“Really? That wasn’t what I thought you’d say at all.”

“What’d you think I was going to say?” you laughed as she sat up and leaned against your wall.

“Oh, something along the lines of ‘I have to study for a test that I’ve already taken and rewrite my essay for the thirtieth time’”, she said in a high pitched voice you soon realized was her impression of you.

“Hey, I do not sound like that! And besides, laugh all you want about it, but I’m at the top of the class so I don’t see anything wrong with that.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that, I’m just surprised you’re giving yourself a break.”

“I am,” you told her with a smile, “I have no homework to finish tonight or tests coming up or essays that need to be turned in, so I’m finally letting myself have a night off.”

“Or…”

You raised an eyebrow at her, “Or what.”

“Or you could come to the hockey game tonight with me so I’m not alone.”

“Oh hell no, Nat, I’m not doing this again.” You grabbed your laptop off of your side table, already ready to pop open your tv series for the night.

“What do you mean you’re not doing this again? It’ll be fun!”

“Last time you convinced me to go somewhere I almost got harassed by a drunk frat boy and then I got into an argument with another frat boy while you were busy hooking up with a different one.”

“Come on, it wasn’t that bad,” she scoffed, climbing off the bed, “Besides, you’ve never been to a hockey game before and you’re a junior. No offense, but do you know how pathetic that sounds. Our school is literally known for hockey! Just once and then I’ll never ask you to go again.” You gave her a stern look, one that threatened her to ask again, but when she flashed her eyes at you, you immediately gave in, rolling your eyes at yourself and already hating yourself for agreeing.

“Fine, but you can’t leave my side the entire night.”

“I promise I won’t! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She brought you into a bone crushing hug before releasing you in favor of searching through her closet for something for the both of you to wear. __________________________

You couldn’t lie and say you weren’t enjoying yourself a little bit. Opposed to last time Natalie was still sitting by your side and you had managed to convince her to let you wear one of your school hoodies and a pair of leggings to keep warm instead of the (as she phrased it) ‘hot ass’ outfit she had picked out for you. It was the final 10 minutes of the game and your team was ahead by four points, something everyone had been assured was an easy win from the start. Still, you could tell why everyone liked going to the games, it was energetic and loud and everything you thought a college game would be, but not as overwhelming. Even though Natalie had decided to sit next to Connor and they were relentlessly flirting and managing to have physical contact with one another the entire time, you were so focused on the game that it wasn’t bothering you as much as you imagined it would when you first sat down. You were entranced by the way the players skated across the ice, your eyes immediately drawing to one player in particular that seemed so comfortable on the ice. The moment you saw the back of his jersey though, MENDES written in bright white lettering, your heart dropped a little bit, not wanting to watch him as much as you were. Though it was hard not to when there was a clear reason he was made captain, so you were left to shamelessly follow his fast, steady movements across the ice.

The game soon ended with a win as expected and you were forced to follow Natalie and Connor deeper into the crowd of students to congratulate the team after they came out of their locker room. The crowd was cheering, adrenaline pumping through the air as you walked down the halls until you reached a large open space. Not long after all of the boys were making their way out, Shawn leading the pack like a true captain. A large portion of the girls (mostly puck bunnies or sorority girls or even some that just wanted some attention from the star himself) immediately crowded along Shawn and you could tell by the look on his face that he was enjoying every last second of it. His eyes scanned the crowd for a brief moment before landing on yours and you swore you could see his smile falter until it became even brighter than before. He excused himself from the hoard of girls as he headed your way, making your heart stop. Was he really coming to see you? What were you going to say? “Good job”? No, you don’t want to congratulate him, he was rude to you the other night. Don’t let him know how you couldn’t stop watching him the entire game, he doesn’t need another boost to his already huge ego. Is he gonna say something first? What if he…

“Hey man, how’d it look from the crowd?” Shawn asked as he bro-hugged Connor. Your heart dropped. Of course he was coming over here to talk to one of his best friends, why would you think he was coming for you? But you could’ve sworn the two of you had made eye contact. Were you really that stupid?

“Great as always, they were easy today anyways.”

“Yeah we went a little easy on them. Last time we absolutely creamed them and then I got threats from their team about how ‘we were gonna pay for embarrassing them like that,’” Shawn scoffed, “Like we were the ones who embarrassed them.” He turned his head, sending a bright smile your way before finally acknowledging you for the first time tonight, “I’ve never seen you at a game before, do you always leave right after it ends?”

You cleared your throat awkwardly, wondering if you should just lie or admit how antisocial you truly were, “No, um this is actually my first hockey game.” Ok, admitting how antisocial you are it is.

“Your first hockey game? What year are you?”

“I’m a junior…”

“You’re a junior and this is your first hockey game?”

“Oh calm down, it’s not that big of a deal,” Natalie chimed in, sensing your discomfort at the situation at hand.

“Wait, don’t tell me.” Shawn rubbed his forehead as if he was thinking before snapping his fingers in Natalie’s direction, “You must be Natalie, right? Y/n was telling me all about you the other night.”

“The other night?”

“Yeah, I walked her home after the party last week. She didn’t tell you?”

Her eyes went wide, looking in your direction with her mouth hanging open while you caved in on yourself, “No, she failed to mention that you were the one to walk her home.”

“Damn, you were that ashamed of me, eh?” Shawn let out a light chuckle before slinging an arm around you to pull you closer to him.

“Wasn’t exactly my proudest moment,” you mumbled, trying your hardest not to lean into his body that seemed so tempting. You didn’t know what body wash he used in his shower, the shower was evident by the slightly wet hair on his head that made him look absolutely breathtaking, but it was extremely inviting and you wanted nothing more than to snuggle your head into his chest and breathe it through your senses.

“Anyways, are you two coming to the party tonight?”

“I mean…” Natalie started, but you cut her off immediately.

“No, we’re heading back after this,” you gave a pointed look in her direction, “Right, Nat?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Oh come on, don’t be such a party pooper Y/n,” Shawn whined, ruffling your hair and laughing as you swatted his arm away.

“I’m not a party pooper, I’m just,” you stuttered for a second trying to find a decent excuse, “Just not quite dressed appropriately for a party, don’t you think?”

“Nonsense, I think you look great. But if it’s that big of a deal you can borrow my practice jersey and you’ll be all set.” Before you could protest Shawn was already reaching down into his duffle bag and producing a bright blue jersey with his name on the back. It was clear that this wasn’t just some jersey you’d buy in the school spirit shop, it looked as professional as it could, except the different design and tattered edges showed that it was made for practice.

“I’m not putting that on.”

“Why not? I promise it doesn’t smell and besides, don’t you want to let Nat have some fun?” He waved the jersey in front of you with a teasing smile on your face, causing you to roll your eyes before you snatched it out of his grip and pulled it over your sweatshirt. “That’s what I thought,” Shawn smirked as he put his arm back around your shoulders, “Now come on, I’ll drive, Y/n can be shot gun.” __________________________

No more than ten minutes later you were parked back at the same frat house you had been at the week prior and the mere thought of it made you sick. However, you didn’t know how much longer you could stay in Shawn’s jeep where he was stealing glances at you every five seconds and trying to annoy you in every way possible. He’d find every way possible to try and touch you in some way, whether it was a poke in the face or moving a strand of hair behind your ear, and constantly make comments that you wanted to laugh at, but wouldn’t be caught dead showing him that. So the second he parked you were already out of the car, breathing in a deep breath of clean air to make sure the scent of Shawn that was so heavy in his jeep would leave your senses. “Wow, was the drive that bad that you’re so eager to leave?”

You were praying with every ounce of your body that Shawn couldn’t see the blush on your face when he made eye contact on with you that teasing smile on his face, but the way Natalie snickered as she got out of the back of the jeep told you that she definitely knew. “No, I just get claustrophobic easily, that’s all.”

“Mhm.” Shawn looked at you, obviously not believing your excuse, but still motioning you towards the front door nonetheless. There was already a fair amount of people inside, at least enough to make you cringe at the thought of being there. Shawn had a light hold on your arm before leaning into your ear to make sure that you heard him, “I’m going to go get us some drinks. What do you want?”

“I don’t care, you can pick. Just please no shots of anything.”

“Ok, I’ll be back.”

Natalie and Connor were already god knows where, so you were left standing in the main foyer of the frat house, holding your arms around yourself while you looked around awkwardly, waiting for Shawn to return. You felt the familiar feeling of nervousness creeping up your throat and you forced yourself to focus on the smell of Shawn’s jersey and how warm it felt around you as a way to calm your rapid beating heart. He had only been gone a few minutes before someone else was approaching you, making your heart drop when you remembered what went down the last time you were here. “Hey, you wanna come dance with me?”

Hearing those words made you want to throw up, but you tried to keep your head up and your gaze unbothered while you prayed for Shawn to come back. “No thank you.”

“Well, can I go get you a drink then?”

“No, someone’s already…”

The feeling of an arm wrapping around you caused you to freeze until your nose caught onto the scent you had been unintentionally enjoying all night and you allowed yourself to relax into him. “I already got it for her. I think she’s all set, buddy.” The other guy got the hint quickly and backed away into the crowd until he was no more than a mere drop in a pool of people. “Damn, can’t even leave you alone for two seconds before you got some guy hitting on you,” Shawn laughed, but quickly stopped once he noticed the terrified look on your face. “Hey,” he placed a hand on your face to bring your eyes to his, “Did he touch you? Or hurt you?”

“No, no he didn’t, I’m still just a little shaken up from last time I guess,” you mumbled, bringing your gaze down to where your hands were engulfed in the fabric of your sweatshirt, “I’m sorry you have to keep saving me.”

“That’s understandable, it’s never a pleasant experience. And you never need to thank me, it’s just common decency.” You refused to meet his eyes again, but you heard his sigh before he gently grabbed your hand in his and handed you your drink. Your heart fluttered when he took your other hand in his grasp, the feeling of his rough calluses overwhelming your senses. “What do you say we go dance? Get your mind off of things for a little bit, let loose.”

“I don’t know Shawn, I’m not the greatest dancer…”

“You don’t have to be. I promise it will be fun.”

You knew there was a ninety-nine percent chance that you were going to embarrass yourself completely in front of him, but the way he was staring at you like it would break his heart if you said no made up your mind for you in a second. “Ok, let’s go.”

A wide smile broke out on Shawn’s face before he dragged you into the crowd, finding a spot he deemed fit for the two of you to dance in. It started out with just a simple step touch as you started to feel the rhythm of the music and allow yourself to relax as much as possible while sipping on the drink he got you. He tried to make small talk with you even over the loud music, resulting in him having to brush his lips against your ear as he spoke to you. Your heart fluttered with each movement and the alcohol you were consuming wasn’t making it any easier when he’d laugh at something you said, his bright brown eyes crinkling from his cheeks. As the night got longer and your cup became emptier, the distance between the two of you became smaller and smaller until your chest was pressed right against his. His free hand came up to naturally grasp your waist, but not in a way that made you uncomfortable. On the contrary, it made your stomach do flips that you couldn’t control even if you wanted to. His face was getting close, too close for your muddled brain to do anything rational about it. You didn’t know exactly what was put in the drink (it was delicious though and you knew he would tell you if you asked), but as a light weight you were definitely feeling the effects of it, so just as his nose touched the tip of yours you pulled away, muttering in his ear about how you had to use the bathroom before running off away from the crowd.

After winding through the halls of the house and passing multiple people making out against the walls, you finally reached the bathroom where you shut the door in a hurry, allowing yourself to take a deep breath as you leaned against the counter. Your eyes lifted up to stare at your reflection in the mirror, your brain struggling to process what had just happened. Was he going to kiss you? Was this his plan all along, to get you comfortable enough around him to have you wrapped around his finger? No, that couldn’t have been it. He was so easy to talk to and seemed genuinely interested in what you had to say and what you were doing. He wouldn’t do that just to get with you, would he? Your thoughts are interrupted by a series of knocks on the door, followed by a worried voice, “Y/n? Are you ok in there?”

“Yeah! I’ll, um, I’ll be right out!” You splashed some water onto your face in an effort to calm yourself down to a degree before opening the door to be met with Shawn’s concerned face.

“I’m sorry if I rushed you. You just ran out of there so quick I was worried something happened.”

Your heart swelled at how much he seemed to care about you and you willed the heat to leave your face, “No, I’m ok. I did feel a little crowded in there, but I’m ok now, thanks.”

“Yeah, of course. What do you say we go to the kitchen for a little bit to talk in there? It usually isn’t too crowded this far into the party.” You allowed him to take your hand and lead you into the kitchen where, like he said, was completely empty besides a few people every now and then that would come to refill their glass. Most of the alcohol had been moved into various places of the house so there was no fear of a bunch of hammered students coming in and ruining the place. There was a comforting silence between the two of you for a moment, the only sound being the music that could be heard from the main room as you both leaned against the counter next to one another. “I’m glad you came to the game tonight,” Shawn broke the silence, looking at you with a sincere look in his eye, “And thanks for letting me drag you to this party.”

“I don’t think I could’ve said no to the party, you’re pretty convincing,” you admitted, downing the last sip of your drink, “You were really good tonight, too. I never told you earlier, but I couldn’t stop watching you as you played. It’s obvious why you were chosen as captain.”

Shawn let out a nervous chuckle, his own cheeks showing a hint of pink to them, “Thanks, it means a lot. Do you want another drink?��

“No, I’m ok. I get drunk easily so I think I should stop before it gets worse.” You easily learned that you were an extremely honest drunk and if the words you were saying to Shawn were any indicator, you definitely shouldn’t drink anything more.

“That’s a shame, I have a feeling that you’re fun when you’re absolutely plastered.”

“What makes you think that?”

“Well, you’re already fun as it is, but it takes a while for you to open up. I think I’d get to see you at your fullest, you know what I mean? But that’s just off of my first couple impressions of you, so what do I know.” He finished off his statement by grabbing a beer from the fridge, returning to a spot much closer to you, so close that your shoulders were right up against one another. “Do I make you uncomfortable?”

“No, I’m very comfortable around you,” you whispered, eyes falling down to his smooth, red lips.

He caught the motion of your eyes and let his do the same, his face coming just that extra inch closer to yours, “Do you think it would be ok if…”

“Y/n! We’re going home!” Natalie came barging into the kitchen, grabbing your arm and dragging you to the door.

“What? What’s going on?” you asked her, trying to tug your arm away, but her grip was strong and she was dead set on ordering an uber to get out of here as soon as possible.

“I’ll tell you when we get back.”

Your heart dropped as you looked at Shawn who looked just as confused and saddened as you. “Bye Shawn, thanks for bringing us.”

“Wait,” he muttered to himself, running towards the door before Natalie could get you out of it, “Give me your phone really quick.”

“Why?”

“Just trust me.” You unlocked your phone for him and watched as he added his number into your messages, even including a silly picture of him as his contact photo that you knew you’d be laughing at later. “Text me when you’re back at your dorm, eh? Wanna make sure you get home safe.”

Looking into his eyes you saw a completely different man than the one you had yelled at on the first night you met. This one seemed vulnerable as he stared at you, as though he was putting himself bare in front of you and showing you the real him. You nodded your head, taking your phone from his hand before Natalie was pulling you towards the uber. “I promise I’ll text you.”

“Bye Y/n.” __________________________

“What was that for?!” you demanded, staring down your roommate as she fell onto her bed.

“Connor and I got into a fight.”

“I didn’t know the two of you were dating.”

“That’s the thing...we’re not.” She sighed, propping herself up against the wall, “See the thing is...we’re talking I guess, but it’s not exclusive. It’s more like a ‘talking’ so we can hook up if we want to sort of thing.”

“So what does that have to do with you dragging me out of the party.”

“Well I was making out with Tim…”

“Why were you making out with Tim?”

“Because he’s hot and I’m drunk so it was a great idea. That was until Connor saw and got all pissed because apparently I’m not allowed to do that, but he’s all over girls all the time still so I don’t see the big deal! And because I’m so drunk I was over fighting with him for the night and I’m mad so therefore we had to leave.”

“Great,” you muttered, “I was finally having a good time at a party and then you and your hook up had to mess it up.”

“Y/n, I’m sorry. I truly am. If there was a way to make it up to you I’d do it. But preferably when I’m sober.”

“It’s fine, it’s not that big of a deal anyways,” you mumbled before you began to change into some more comfortable clothes for the night. You noticed you were still wearing Shawn’s jersey that you would ultimately have to give him back for the game, but you couldn’t help but think that you could worry about getting it to him tomorrow and maybe that would be your chance to make up for the time you lost tonight. __________________________

The light streamed in through the window of your dorm and you groaned, pushing yourself out of bed to turn off your alarm. You sighed to yourself as you got yourself up and moving for the day, even going as far as making sure that Natalie was still alive and breathing after she came home late last night from a bar before grabbing your bag to head to class. You hated your 8am class, but it was the only slot available that worked with your schedule so you simply had to man up and accept your fate. You were about halfway to your class when you heard a distant voice call out to you and you whipped your head around to meet a smiling curly haired boy running your way. “Y/n, hey,” Shawn smiled at you after finally catching up to you, “Long time no see.”

“Hey, Shawn, how have you been?” You hadn’t seen him since you had dropped his practice jersey off at the doorstep of the frat a few weeks back, but you couldn’t lie and say a part of you was hoping that you’d run into him again.

“Good, miss seeing you at the hockey games though.”

His comment made you blush and you brought your gaze to the floor so he couldn’t see your heated cheeks. “I never really went before so I wasn’t exactly planning on going anytime soon again.”

“You didn’t have a good time?” he asked with a feigned offense, big puppy dog eyes on display as he walked next to you.

“I promise I did, I just prefer to stay in my dorm and study if we’re being honest.”

“I understand,” he nodded thoughtfully, “So where are you headed?”

“English Literature, how about you?”

“Calculus, which if we’re being honest here is not my strong suit. If I don’t get at least a B on this next test they could pull me from the game. I swear I’m not dumb, I just don’t get it I guess.”

“Well, I don’t know if it means anything to you, but I had an A in that class last semester. I could help you out if you want.”

“You’d do that for me?” he asked with wide eyes, bringing you both to a halt in front of your lecture hall. “Of course I would, when’s your test?”

“Next Tuesday, could we meet on Thursday after practice?”

“Sounds perfect. Just text me the time and place.”

“I owe you a bunch.” Shawn leaned in to press a kiss to the top of your temple that left your heart fluttering before making his way over to his own class. __________________________

Thursday felt like it would never come, but there you were sitting alone inside the library at eight thirty at night, waiting for Shawn to arrive from his practice. A million thoughts were swirling through your head the longer you waited and you desperately wished he would show up to give you a distraction from your mind. You were constantly worried that he wouldn’t show up, had planned on ditching you from the start as some kind of sick joke, but that fear was diminished when he stumbled through the doors. “I’m sorry I’m late,” he breathed out, “Practice went later than expected.” A series of students shushed him for being too loud, causing a sheepish expression to grace his face, “Sorry.”

He sat his bag down next to you, sliding in close enough that you would be able to see what the other was doing while still maintaining a safe distance. “Sooo,” you broke the silence as he got his books out, “What do you want to start with?”

The rest of the time was spent discussing Shawn’s upcoming test and explaining what each concept was to the best of your ability. You could tell that he was smart, he just needed a little bit of help, so he was very easy to work with. Besides how hard it was for you to concentrate around him that was. Whenever he leaned in to peer over your work a little more, your heart beat increased rapidly and you held your breath until he moved away again. You couldn’t tell if he was aware of your behaviors, but he seemed extremely unfazed, always dazzling you a bright smile after something made sense to him. It was adorable to you when his eyes would furrow a little bit while he was working and the proud glow on his face when he got a problem right.

Time seemed to go by quick with all the little jokes he was making and soon enough it was eleven at night and the library was beginning to close down. “Guess we should be heading out then,” Shawn laughed, “Unless you plan on sleeping in here tonight.”

“No, not exactly. Was kind of looking forward to my bed if I’m being honest.” A chuckle of your own escaped your lips as you packed up your bag alongside him.

“Did you drive here?”

“No, my car isn’t on campus. I just walked.”

“Well I hope you weren’t planning on walking back too.”

“What other choice do I have?”

Shawn raised an eyebrow at you, “Seriously? You’re going to ask that when I’m literally right here.”

“I’m not going to ask you to drive me home, Shawn.”

“Good thing you’re not asking me, I’m telling you. Now come on, my jeep is right out here.” You didn’t protest this time, knowing he wouldn’t back down from his offer, and instead followed him out to that black jeep you vividly remember from your last trip in it.

The ride back to your dorm was significantly quieter than what your previous encounters with Shawn had been besides the quiet music playing in the background. By the time he had pulled in front of your building, there were hardly any cars to be seen around and all of the students were already inside. Shawn turned his body to face you, “Thanks for the help tonight, I really appreciate it.”

“My pleasure. Good luck on your test next week, I know you’ll do great, but you can still text me if you want to meet up again.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He gave you a kind smile when you thanked him for the ride before you opened the door to the brisk night air. “Y/n wait…”

“What?”

“I know you’re not really into parties but…,” his words trailed off as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously, “There’s this movie night thing at the frat Saturday night and all of the guys are expected to bring a date. Do you maybe wanna come with me?”

You looked at him with wide eyes, “You want me to be your date?”

“Yeah, if you want to be.” Even in the darkness you could see the way his cheeks reddened and he failed to look you in the eye.

“I’d love to go,” you told him truthfully and you couldn’t help but smile with him when his face lit up at your words.

“Really?! That’s, that’s great! You’re supposed to wear your pajamas by the way so I hope that’s ok with you.”

“Perfectly fine with me. Just text me the time later.”

“I will. Bye, Y/n.”

“Bye, Shawn.” He watched you walk into your building with a giddy smile on his face before he drove back to his frat for a sleep that he hoped included dreams of you. __________________________

“What are you getting all dolled up for?”

You look over from where you’re doing your hair to see Natalie laying on her bed staring at you with curious eyes. “I’m going to movie night with Shawn.”

“You’re going to movie night with Shawn?!” Natalie exclaimed, her eyes practically bursting out of her head.

“Yeah, he asked me to go with him as his date.” You tried to keep your calm in front of her and not show how excited you truly were, but your smile was fighting to break free on your face.

“Is he picking you up?”

“No, I’m probably just going to walk or maybe get an uber.”

“Walk? Honey, no. Connor is picking me up, I’ll just text him and ask if he can drive you, too.”

“You don’t need to do that…”

“Nonsense, there’s no reason for you to walk when I’m literally driving to the same place.” Natalie quickly grabbed her phone to text something to Connor before getting up out of bed to walk over and fluff your finally curled hair.

“What’s going on with you and Connor anyways?”

“Oh, we’re just friends with benefits for now,” Natalie said dreamly, her hands separating your curls to make them more natural as she spoke, “But we decided that we’re going to be exclusive. No more arguments about that I guess.” You nodded your head thoughtfully, carefully examining your appearance in the mirror. “Why are you getting ready so early? We don’t have to leave for another two hours.”

“I know, but I thought you’d have to use the curler and mirror, too, so I figured I’d get done early so you could have enough room to do everything.”

“You’re the sweetest ever,” she told you, kissing the top of your head making you scrunch your nose. “Do you want me to do your makeup for you?”

“I’m not sure, I just want to do something natural.” You examined your face with much criticism, trying to decide what you wanted to do to hopefully make you look more appealing to Shawn. You didn’t just think that did you? You’re not really trying to impress Shawn tonight, right? The butterflies in your stomach told you otherwise and you cursed yourself for the thoughts that were taking over your head.

“I can do that,” Nat responded quickly, “Easy. Now what I’m concerned about is what you’re wearing tonight.”

“I was planning on wearing some sweatpants and a tank top or maybe one of my patching pajama tops and bottoms. I wasn’t sure yet.”

“See this is where we’re going to have an issue. Don’t you want to wear something a bit more revealing? Want to impress Shawn a little bit? I have a slip you can borrow if you want or…”

“No, I’m all set, I just want to be comfortable. I appreciate the concern, but you know it’s not me to wear something like that out in public. It makes me uneasy.”

“I know, I know. Let’s just focus on getting your makeup looking absolutely perfect just like you.” __________________________

Connor pulled up to the frat house before unlocking the car door for you and slinging an arm around Natalie’s seat to look back at you, “Why don’t you go in and meet up with Shawn, we’ll be in in one second.” You gave him a forced smile and a small thank you as Natalie giggled and you rolled your eyes the second you got out, happy to finally be away from their never ending teasing of one another. You made your way up to the door of the frat and knocked loud enough to be heard, transferring your weight back and forth out of nervousness. The door opened not long after revealing your date for the night looking as cozy as ever in a pair of grey sweatpants and a cotton white t-shirt. His eyes subtly looked you up and down with a smile on his face. “Hi.”

“Hi,” you breathed out, letting yourself admire him the way he was you.

“You look beautiful.”

“Thank you, you look extremely comfy and nice as well.”

“Why thank you, I like the plaid.” You looked down at your plaid sleep pants and tighter fitted grey long sleeve you had on top, your cheeks blushing red at his comment.

“I know I probably am not dressed up like a lot of the other girls, but I just wanted to be comfortable…”

“Stop it, I think you look amazing. Now come inside, I already have a spot for us.” You followed him through the frat house until you came into the kitchen that looked a little different now that it wasn’t filled to the brim with alcohol. “Do you want any hot chocolate? Or tea?”

“I’ll have hot chocolate please.”

“Good choice, good choice,” he chuckled, pouring some of the boiling water into two mugs. “You know, I’m kinda surprised Natalie didn’t force you to wear some form of lingerie like a lot of the girls are.”

“She tried to convince me to, but I didn’t want to. I’m just as surprised as you are though that she let me get away with this.”

“Well, I think it’s better that you came here comfortable rather than wearing any of that.” He handed you your cup, warning you of how hot it was. “Speaking of Natalie, where are her and Connor?”

“Still in the car, they kicked me out right when we got here.”

“Typical,” Shawn snorted before making his way into the living room with you trailing behind him. The room was already about half the way full with couples, if you could even call them that, and the room had a much cozier vibe than what you had previously seen it as. There were blankets everywhere and snacks piled up onto all of the tables. There were a few guys and girls that were obviously not too interested in their date and were mingling with other people instead and some that were extremely interested in their date to the point where it was almost obnoxious. “I got us the seat in the corner by the table. You can put your mug there if you want and those blankets that are there are ours, too. I’m just going to run to the bathroom quickly so you can wait there until I come back or you can go somewhere else.” He kissed your cheek lightly, leaving you with a heated face before he left you alone in the room. You swore you could feel the hard stares of the breathtaking girls around you and you sank yourself down into the couch, desperately wishing Shawn hadn’t left you here by yourself.

You sat there for almost ten minutes before you had decided that you were finished being the target for the judgemental looks and whispers from those around you, peeling yourself out of your spot before heading towards what you were praying was the bathrooms in hopes of running into Shawn on the way. Just as you rounded the corner you could faintly make out a female voice and you snuck your head around only to be met with a sight that made your heart drop. There she was, the drop dead gorgeous head cheerleader you knew had been in Shawn’s sheets multiple times before, with her hand on your date’s chest, that mischievous glint in her eyes that was laced with lust. Shawn’s hands were wrapped around her wrists and although you couldn’t hear their words, you couldn’t help but feel betrayed at the whole situation. Here you are, being made a fool of in front of all of these people who have always seemed to despise you from the start. You finally started letting your guard down for Shawn and what do you get in return? A stabbing pain in your heart. Tears began prickling in your eyes before you turned straight on your heels to head out of the frat without a second thought in your mind.

Just as you were about to reach the door, it opened for you, Natalie and Connor entering with giddy smiles on their faces. But at the sight of you, Natalie’s smile dropped, “Hun, what happened?”

“Nothing, I think I might head out.”

“What?” She made a signal to Connor so that he’d leave the two of you alone and he agreed, whispering something in her ear before moving past you. “Ok, now tell me what happened. You were so happy about coming tonight!” With tears threatening to fall down your face, you told her exactly what you saw from the moment you stepped into the house and before you knew it, you were encased in her arms, her hands rubbing comforting circles on your back. “I’m so sorry, baby. He doesn’t deserve you if he’s going to let her get away with that.”

“Am I stupid to be so affected by this?”

“No, that was a dick move on his part and you are allowed to feel upset about it. What we’re not going to do though is leave, you hear me? Two can play at this game.”

“What do you mean?”

“I meannn, let’s give him a taste of his own medicine. Come on, follow me.” She wiped underneath your eyes before leading you back into the living room towards the couch on the opposite side. Two guys you recognized from the frat were sitting there alone and when you noticed Natalie walking over to them confidently, your heart stopped.

“Nat, what are we doing?”

“Just trust me on this...Hey guys!” The two guys looked up at the sound of her voice, a heavy smirk on both of their lips. “You got any extra room for a little bit?”

“Be my guest,” the blonde one responded and Natalie wasted no time in pushing you to sit next to them.

You stumbled slightly onto the couch, but recovered quickly, sending a light wave to the guys, “Hi.”

They both greeted you back with a smile, leaving Natalie to be quite satisfied as she whispered in your ear, “Be back soon,” and then she was gone.

You weren’t close enough to the guys that it would be considered dangerous to you, but you were definitely closer than you would usually be with some strangers that you had literally just met. The conversation flowed easily between the three of you, not as easily as it did between you and Shawn though, and you found yourself constantly glancing towards the entryway in case he decided to make an appearance. Just as one of the frat members announced that the movie was starting in five minutes Shawn made his way into the living room, his eyes spotting you immediately. You could see his jaw clench from the corner of your eye and the way his eyes hardened was not easy to miss. This only made you up the antics a little more, with a hand moving to the shoulder of the guy closest to you before the sound of your name being called from across the room caught your attention, as well as everyone else’s in the room. You looked over to see Shawn staring at you coldly, his head nodding at the seat he had for you as a signal for you to come back. “Thanks for the seat boys, but I better be heading back,” you told them with a cheeky smile that they returned to you before heading over towards Shawn. You could feel the strong gaze of the other couples and you desperately wished that you could curl in on yourself and disappear. Once you were close enough to him he pulled you down harshly into his lap, wrapping his arms around you and whispering in your ear, “What the hell were you doing over there?”

You wriggled out of his arms, but still laid next to him, allowing him to bring the blanket up and over you with his arm around you. “I was making some new friends to keep me company since you were so busy with Vanessa when you were supposed to be just using the bathroom.”

“Fuck,” he said under his breath, “Listen, I don’t know what you saw, but…”

“I don’t want to hear it Shawn, I just want to watch the movie and leave.”

“No, I want you to listen to me because I can see how you might have taken this the wrong way.”

“Was there a right way to take it?” you whispered back angrily, feeling his arm tighten around you so that he could bring his mouth closer to your ear.

“Not from your point of view, but I swear I didn't mean to hurt you. I haven’t been answering her texts for the last two months and threatened to block her last week and she was all butthurt about it, saying that she wanted things to go back to when she could call me for a booty call whenever she felt like it. And I don’t want that anymore. I’ve got my eye on someone right now and I wouldn’t mess up my chance with her like that.”

“If you have your eye on someone then why didn’t you bring her tonight?”

“I did.” You looked up at him as the lights were turned off and you caught a glimpse of his eyes before he was facing the screen and pulling you closer to his chest. You snuggled into him and wrapped your arm around his body too, leaving the both of you with graceful smiles on your faces. __________________________

Of course the guys had picked a scary movie for the night, causing you to squeeze Shawn a little tighter at every jump scare. He didn’t mind though, it only gave him an excuse to pull you closer to him and press light, comforting kisses into your hair. Somewhere between the halfway point of the movie when you tucked your head into Shawn’s chest at a particularly frightening scene and the end of the movie, you found yourself dozing off, eventually falling into a light slumber cuddled up against him. The even beating of his heart lulled you to sleep until you felt him shaking you softly, whispering your name into your ear. “Hey, the movie’s over.”

“Oh,” you sat up and tried to comb back your slightly messed up hair, seeing the other couples retreat to their respective rooms, “I’m sorry I fell asleep.”

“Don’t be, you look cute when you’re comfy.” His words caused your cheeks to heat up and you situated yourself to try and hide your face from him. “Are you ready to go back to sleep?”

“Yeah, I should probably head out.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m ready to fall back asleep...which means that I need to go home so I can go to sleep in my bed.” You looked back at him with furrowed brows that matched his.

“Y/n, it’s two in the morning, why don’t you just stay here. No one else is leaving.”

“You don’t have a spare room though…”

“You can sleep in my room, I’ll sleep on the floor if you feel too uncomfortable.”

“No Shawn, I’m not kicking you out of your own bed. If you’re so adamant about me staying then we might as well share it.”

“Are you sure you’re ok with that?”

“I’m a big girl, Shawn, I think I can handle sleeping in a bed with you for one night.”

Shawn let out a laugh that was music to your ears before extending a hand to you that you gladly accepted. His hand engulfed yours perfectly and you stumbled as he pulled you up off the couch because you were too busy trying to memorize the feeling of his hand in yours. “Careful there, honey,” his sweet voice drawed out, “You’re even more tired than I thought. Can hardly stand on two feet.” He escorted you hand in hand to his bedroom, which was much cleaner than you would have imagined. There were a couple guitars on stands, a piano in the corner, some hockey gear half stuffed into a bag on the floor, all things that perfectly described Shawn to you. He slid into his bed, adjusting himself under the covers before looking at you with a boyish grin and beckoning you towards him. You sat down next to him, playing with your hands awkwardly. “You ok?” You nodded your head. “I can put up a pillow barrier if you want, I have to admit I tend to be a cuddler.”

You giggled, imagining you waking up to find him snuggled up against a pillow between the two of you. “It’s ok, I don’t think we need a pillow barrier.”

“Suit yourself.” He turned off the light, getting even more comfortable in his bed and turning towards the wall. “Goodnight, Y/n.”

“Goodnight, Shawn.” __________________________

The deep scent of oak and cinnamon should have woken you up. The heavy weight slung across your stomach should have woken you up. The unusual heat that was spreading across your back should have woken you up. But instead, they all just kept you in a peaceful slumber as the morning light streamed in through the window.

Shawn was the first to awake. Breathing in your comforting scent, he squeezed you a little tighter, not quite realizing what he was doing. The moment you pushed back into him in an effort to get impossibly closer to him his senses became wide awake, suddenly making him on high alert to how close you were to him. He couldn’t imagine how you’d feel if you woke up to find the two of you like this, but when he tried to untangle himself from you and you subconsciously gripped his arm tighter, pulling him back to you, he gave up the fight and let himself get lost in the moment. Against his better judgment he placed his lips to your hair, leaving feathery kisses in their wake. Your body began to move slowly as you came to a consciousness, but Shawn continued to kiss down your neck until he finished with a soft one on your shoulder. “Good morning,” he rasped, looking at you through his lashes.

“Good morning.” The second you came to a full realization of what was happening your body froze, not quite able to process the exact situation. The immense heat that was radiating off of him was too soothing for you to resist though and soon your body fell slack against his just as it was while you were asleep.

“How’d you sleep?” Shawn asked, tracing his finger across your cheek bone.

“Like a baby.”

“Good to hear.” His stomach rumbled, making a laugh escape out of him, “And that is good to hear too, I guess. You want to go get some breakfast.”

Deep inside you wanted to say no and selfishly keep him close to you all morning long, “That sounds perfect.”

Your body became cold the second he left your side and you shivered slightly from the temperature change. “You ok?”

“Yeah I’m fine,” you lied, grabbing his hand to help you out of bed. He pulled your body close to his, looking at you deeply with those gorgeous brown eyes of his.

“Were you uncomfortable this morning?”

“No,” you stuttered, feeling small as he towered over you even if you didn’t find him intimidating, if anything the words coming out of his mouth were more intimidating than him.

“Why not?”

His body came closer to you with each word until you were backed up against the wall, his chest pressing against yours. “What?”

“I asked you why you weren’t uncomfortable.” His face was so close to you that you could see every last detail of his skin, including a scar on his cheek that you didn’t happen to notice before, but made him look all the more endearing to you.

“Because I trust you.”

“Is that all?”

“Yes.”

You could tell by the way that his eyebrow quirked up that he didn’t believe your wavering voice, “Are you telling me the truth? Because I want to know if you feel the same way about me that I do.”

“What do you mean?”

“I thought I made it quite obvious,” he chuckled, “I really, really like you, Y/n. I was hoping maybe this morning was a sign that you felt the same way…”

“It was,” you breathed out quickly, not wanting this moment to fade away. “I like you too, Shawn.”

His lips fanned over yours and your breath hitched in your throat, desperately waiting for him to move the final inch. “I’m not going to kiss you,” he told you, watching the light in your eyes dim and cast down to the ground, “Hey, look at me.” Shawn grabbed your chin gently, pulling your eyes back up to his, “It’s not because I don’t want to, it’s because it feels wrong to do it without going on a date first. You understand?” You nodded your head sadly, making him let out a quiet laugh, “But I would like to take you out on a date if you’d let me.”

“I’d love to go on a date with you.”

“Perfect,” he leaned in to kiss the tip of your nose, “Now let’s go down and eat breakfast. I’m absolutely starving.” __________________________

Are you free Tuesday night? Sorry, I just couldn’t wait to ask you

The message came through the second you stepped through the door to your dorm room. Natalie and Connor had woken up later than you and Shawn, so Shawn had offered to drive you home instead. You looked out your small window that happened to be facing the street and were met with his jeep still parked next to the curb. His eyes met yours causing the two of you to smile and you could practically hear his laugh from three floors up.

I’m free all night

Perfect, see you then I’ll pick you up x

Can’t wait x __________________________

The rest of the weekend seemed to drag on until your classes came again on Monday to distract your mind from the next day. It didn’t help that you and Shawn were texting almost every second of the day since you two had parted, only adding to your anticipation.

After seeming as though it would never arrive, Tuesday night came upon you, bringing you back to the same chair this all started with. Natalie was over the moon when you told her about your date, immediately wanting to know everything about it and what outfit you were planning on wearing. She had you propped up in what she called her “makeup chair” making sure your makeup and hair were the best they had ever looked. You had chosen a simple sweater and leggings, hoping that you looked nice enough while still managing to stay warm and comfortable. Shawn hadn’t told you where you were going yet, stating that it had to be kept a surprise, so you worked with what you had in order to have an appropriate outfit.

At six o���clock sharp Shawn was waiting outside, leaning against his jeep on his phone was a bouquet of flowers in one hand. His eyes flickered to the door anytime he heard a noise, but at the sight of you he stood up straight, hands pocketing his phone before he was headed straight towards you. “Hey, you look beautiful.”

“And you look as handsome as always.”

A blush formed on his cheeks at your words and he handed you the flowers bashfully, ducking his head down to avoid your gaze. “These are for you.”

“They’re gorgeous, thank you.” He sent you a bright smile as he took your hand to lead you around the car, opening the door for you to slide inside.

“Will you tell me where we’re going now?” you asked as soon as he slid into the driver's seat.

“Not yet, gotta keep the suspense up,” he teased, his hand coming up to lace his fingers with yours on the center console. “I hope you’re hungry though.”

“If we’re being honest I’m always hungry.”

“Then this is going to work out great.” The ride was short and before you knew it you were turning into a parking lot of a small old-fashioned diner a few minutes off of campus. Shawn parked the car, running around the jeep quickly to open the door for you. You smiled at his kind gesture and took his outstretched hand for you to walk inside together.

The two of you were sat inside of a booth across from each other as you scanned the menus. Shawn hardly looked at his before he was nodding his head and leaning back in his seat to look at you, “Got any idea of what you’re getting?”

“Um, not really. Have you been here before?”

“More times than I can remember. I usually go here after practice late at night because it’s open until like three in the morning.”

“Any suggestions?”

“Well I always get the cheeseburger with no tomato, a chocolate milkshake, and extra fries…”

“Extra fries? You eat that many fries?”

Shawn laughed, a wide smile forming on his face, “Most of the time yes, but if I don’t I just bring them back to the frat house. They’re always gone a couple seconds after I set them down.”

“Hmm, I can't decide if I want a chocolate shake like you or an oreo one. What do you think?”

“I think you should get an oreo one and then we can share them both.” You looked over your menu at him with a small smile, watching his eyes light up as he returned your expression.

“Then that’s what I’ll do.” The waitress came over and you ordered the same thing as Shawn, except with tomatoes, different shake, and of course, no extra fries. Once your milkshakes came out, he requested two extra straws, winking at you as he slid them in.

“So,” he began, sipping on his chocolate milkshake, “Do you think you’re going to come to more hockey games this season?”

“I’m not sure, I guess I’d need a good reason to go,” you smirked at him, taking a sip of yours as well.

“I’m pretty sure I could give you a good reason.” He looked around to make sure no one was looking, but fortunately you two were the only ones in there besides another couple on the other side. Shawn grabbed your hand and leaned forward, his nose brushing against yours. Your heart started beating faster until his lips were right against yours, but you faltered when he froze. The look in his eyes was pleading with you to let him continue so you took control instead, closing the small gap between the two of you. His free hand cradled your cheek as his lips moved with yours, keeping you close to him. It was short and innocent, but it was enough to leave your head spinning and heart pounding. Your lips chased his once he moved back, desperately wanting to feel the softness of them on yours once again, causing him to laugh with a smile before giving you a peck to satisfy you. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

“I doubt it was that long,” you mumbled, eyes focusing on where his thumb was rubbing the top of your hand.

“What makes you say that?”

“No guy has ever really been into me before.”

“I think that’s a lie. Besides, I’ve wanted that since the moment I laid eyes on you.”

“Really?”

“Mhm.” He brought your hand to his lips to leave a lingering kiss on it, “You would’ve noticed if your head wasn’t stuck in a book.”

“Didn’t know it was bad to try to be at the top of my class.”

“It isn’t. I think it’s great that you’re at the top of the class list. Now you’re on the top of two lists.”

“Two lists?” you asked, watching as he smiled and leaned forward to try to steal another kiss.

“Yeah, the school’s and mine.”

[matbarzyy]

Where We Land (Bonus) [A.B.]

A/N: I love this trope and some people’s reblogs and tags made me feel soft (looking at you @fallinallincurls​ and @hookingminor​) so I figured I’d write a little bonus. If you want to see something specific with these two I might consider writing some more little extras like this. This one is set just a few years after they start dating so you get to see more of their dynamic as a couple and with Alex.

Word count: 1605

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“Have a good day love,” Tito murmured as gently pressed his lips against yours. He was already dressed and his shoes were on, but he couldn’t leave without giving his two favourite people a goodbye kiss.

“Don’t go yet,” you groaned and reached out to wrap your arms around his neck. “Need more kisses.”

“I promise you’re getting all the kisses you want tonight,” he chuckled, having to put a hand out on the mattress to keep you from pulling him back to bed. “We can take a bath together after Alex is in bed?”

“I’ll be waiting,”

“Go study hard,” Tito left one last kiss on your forehead before pushing himself up and finally leaving the room.

Then, he went to see Alex and quietly knelt by the little boy’s bed to wake him up.

“Alex, come on, time to get up,” he shook the little boy’s shoulder until he stirred and then smiled. His son only groaned in response, opening his sleepy eyes and rubbing his hands over his face. “Breakfast is ready, I’ll open the curtains.” Tito informed him.

He leaned forward to kiss his cheek and got up to let light into the room.

It had become a routine since you came to live with them. Tito got ready for practice and let the two of you sleep, he made sure breakfast was ready right before he left and then he kissed the two of you goodbye. You got Alex ready once he was gone and dropped him off to school before getting to your own classes. In the afternoon, Tito would pick Alex up from school and you’d be home soon after them unless you had to spend extra time in the library to study.

“Have a good day, Alex,” Tito said before leaving the room, and the young boy waved from his bed.

“You too daddy!”

Less than ten minutes later he had devoured a large bowl of cereal and you were cleaning up in the kitchen while he got dressed in the clothes that had been laid out the previous night.

“Got everything for school?” You checked with Alex as soon as he was by the door. You had just been about to forget your phone, so you hoped he was less distracted than you.

“I need you to sign my book!” His eyes widened as he remembered, and he hurried to take his backpack off his shoulders to get the book out.

“Alex, daddy’s supposed to sign that,” you took it from him and checked what it was. It was just a few grades his teacher wanted parents to see, mostly A’s and a few B’s on short surprise tests.

“But Miss Werber is going to check if it was signed, I don’t want to be punished,” he looked at you with all the anxiousness a six years old could muster when it came to a teacher checking he had done his homework.

“Try to tell daddy the night before next time, okay?” You took a pen out of your bag and signed before handing it to him. “Come on, we don’t want you to be late,” you let him walk out the door first and watched as he skipped to your car.

You sighed after you dropped him off, hoping Tito wouldn’t mind you signing something for Alex. He was still his son, no matter how much you took care of him you hadn’t discussed everything about your responsibilities towards him. Up until now Tito was always the one to sign school things for him; Miss Werber wouldn’t even recognise your signature. At least it was fancy enough that she would know Alex didn’t just make up something himself, so you hoped that’d be enough to keep him out of trouble.

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Meet you for lunch?

The text from Tito came just as you were leaving the library to get yourself something to eat. Your friends had left you a few minutes ago and you told them you’d meet them as soon as you were done with your assignment. You texted them to let them know you wouldn’t be joining and replied to Tito so that he wouldn’t rush.

Sounds good, my next class is at 2

Be there in 20

You smiled to yourself as you walked a little further past your usual café. Tito had met you there a few times, but there were too many students in it and far too many of them happened to be hockey fans. Instead, the two of you had picked a lovely place only a few blocks further to meet at when he wasn’t busy during your lunch hours. You liked that they had small booths rather than just tables, they offered more privacy.

You got there first and picked a booth in a corner away from a window. You wanted a quiet lunch with Tito and sitting by the window meant there was a high chance of someone recognising him. Most people didn’t bother him, especially when he was sitting in a café and they spotted him by the window, but the stares made you uncomfortable.

You liked having a routine like this with him, and you wondered what would become of it at the end of the year. You would graduate then, it would be the end of five hard years and you’d be able to apply for the jobs you were interested in as something other than an intern. You hoped it’d be close to this place, or that there’d be something similar nearby where you and Tito could become regulars.

“So, how was your morning?” Tito asked after greeting you with a kiss and sitting across from you.

“It was good, pretty busy,” you said and interrupted yourself when someone came up to take your orders. “Um, Alex also asked me to sign something for school this morning. I know we never really talked about that but I didn’t want him getting in trouble,”

“Please tell me you’re not worried about what I might think because you signed a paper for Alex,” Tito reached out to take your hand over the table, and you gave him a small shrug. “We live together, you take care of him like he’s your own kid and drive him to school every day. Of course you can sign school stuff for him,”

“Okay, it’s just… I don’t know, we didn’t talk about it before I didn’t want to overstep,” you explained, still shy under his bright blue eyes.

“You never overstep, but fine, let’s talk about it now,” he nodded, lacing his fingers through yours and rested his elbow on the table to prop his head up with his free hand. You gave him a quiet ‘okay’ before he continued. “Remember last week when I asked where do you see yourself in five years?”

“Yeah?” You wondered where he was going with it, but you recalled the conversation perfectly.

“You told me you see us, with Alex, maybe in a house with a garden, and a puppy.”

“I remember,” you smiled at the thought. You had been staring at the ceiling in Tito’s bedroom, his hand in yours as you talked about the future. There was so much ahead to imagine, so many possibilities and decisions to take together. The conversation had ended in kisses that left your lips red and swollen.

“Well I can see that too, you know? And I thought about it a lot, and maybe… maybe it could also be with another kid too, when we’re ready. And if you want that with me,” he added, a little shyer now that he had said that. The talk was supposed to be about Alex but he couldn’t help bring this up.

“I want everything with you,” you reassured him, giving his hand a squeeze that made him smile. Neither of you were ready for it just now, but it was something you had already thought of for the rest of your relationship.

“Then please, don’t ever feel like you’re overstepping when you take care of Alex. You’re always there for him no matter what, when he’s ill and you pick him up from school in the middle of the day, when he wakes up at night and comes to find one of us, when you come watch him skate even on the days you’re supposed to be studying.” Tito listed what he could think of at the top of his head, but the truth was you were there in every single moment and he couldn’t be more thankful for it. “You’re always there, and you know what that means?”

“I’m sure you’re about to tell me,” you felt your eyes begin to pool with tears, and Tito’s next words were enough to make a tear roll down your cheek.

“That means you’re Alex’s mom in all the ways that matter.” He said it with such conviction that all you could do was nod and wipe your cheeks with the hand he wasn’t holding. “No tears, please,” he smiled softly, clasping both of his hands over yours and bringing it up to his lips to leave a kiss on your knuckles.

“You can’t just show up for lunch and tell me that and expect no tears,” you laughed in disbelief, sliding out of your seat to join him on the other side of the booth. Tito welcomed you with open arms and you rested your head on his shoulder for a moment. “I love you so much,”

“I love you too,” he kissed the top of your head. “And Alex loves you more than you know.”

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[imagines-r-s]

sticking it - j. farabee

chapter 1

a/n: ok, this chapter is very dialogue heavy lmao, but yolo. (feedback is always welcome, feel free to send asks about the series, i would absolutely love to talk about it.) i’m also kinda debating to have a ‘sticking it’ blurb night sometime soon?? anyways i hope you all enjoy this one 

taglist: @butgilinsky @barbienoturbby @sunsetholland @lovenhlboys @sortagaysortahigh @hockey-racing-fubol @oopsiedoopsie23​ (if you want to be added, just send me an ask)

warnings: uh, kathryn? that can be considered a warning i think, swearing, i think that’s it? if i missed anything lmk 

sticking it masterlist

wc: 3.2k

(gif not mine)

“You want me to go where with you?” Joel asked the group in front of him.

“My cousin has a gymnastics meet and we were wondering if you wanted to go with us tonight after practice?” Kevin repeated for the third time. 

“Dude, you have to come. These things are surprisingly super fun, it’s not hockey and there’s no physical fighting, but it’s still pretty cool,” Travis said, shrugging his shoulders. 

“Are you guys going to keep asking until I say yes?” to which Kevin, Nolan, and TK all nodded their heads. “Fine, I’ll go.”

“Ok, sweet. Karly is planning on coming, too, so I’ll just meet you guys there,” Travis interjected as he grabbed his practice bag. 

“We’ll pick you up around 4:30, we have to get there early since Pat has to give his pep talk, all traditional stuff, yada, yada, yada,” Kevin said. 

“Yeah, okay, just let me know when you’re on your way,” Joel said as the two of them went to their cars. 

…..

“y/n, I don’t understand why you’re still worried, your knee will be fine,” Nicole reassured you as the two of you walked into the arena, “Adrian already said you’ve been out for long enough and he’s waiting to hear news of the y/n y/l/n revenge tour, you can’t let him down, dude.”

You rolled your eyes, “well, Adrian can suck it up, he’ll be fine.”

“Ok, that’s how you want to be, then tell Marcus and Michelle that you’re scratching every event today. It’s fine by me, you’re my competition, but good luck petitioning onto the Olympic team after that,” Nicole said, walking ahead of you towards the locker rooms to get dressed. 

“Wait, Nic, stop,” you quickly followed after her, “Your reverse psychology isn’t going to work on me, but I’m not scratching every event.”

“That’s what I thought. Now, babes, you have to realize you’re going to be okay and getting in your head about it will only push you back ten steps. And I missed having actual competition,” Nicole caught the small smile on your face in the mirror, “ok, we honestly have to get ready if we want to have time in the tunnels before we compete.” 

Grabbing your garment bag that held your competition leo and warm-ups in, you started to get ready. Quickly getting your leo on, you took note of how beautiful the new leo was. A navy blue, long sleeve leo with mesh sleeves and rhinestone decals or as Michelle always called it ‘all blinged out’. Once you put on your warm up pants, you did a light makeup look that was pretty much just eye shadow and mascara and then pulled your hair up in a tight, but simple messy bun. 

“Are your boys coming tonight?” Nicole asked, meeting you by the door of the locker room. “Yeah, you know Kevin wouldn’t miss it, but I don’t know if anyone else is coming,” you replied. 

“Oh, well Nolan better be here, you need your pep talk,” Nicole added which made you laugh, “okay, well I’m going to let you do your pre-warm up-warm up and I’ll see you out there soon. You got this, babes.” 

Once you saw Nicole leave the tunnel, you immediately put your headphones in and started listening to one of the hype playlist that Nolan had put together for you. You went through visualizing your routines, visualizing the perfect motions, tumbling, and skills. You were stretching your legs out when you heard a familiar laugh sound from one side of the hallway, turning you saw Karly, TK, Nolan, Kev, and then beside them, Joel Farabee. 

You had never met him personally, but you had seen him play enough times to know who he was. He was also usually included in game highlights if you missed a game, so you were well aware how significant he was to the team. 

You stood up quickly and made your way over to them, “Karly, omg, I’ve missed you, babes. Tiki Bar, I’m still planning on stealing your girlfriend, just so you know.”

“You really have your priorities in order, don’t you, y/n/n?” Travis said.

“I like to think so. Hey, Kev, thank you for bringing your friends along for the y/n y/l/n revenge tour.”

“Dude, you didn’t mention this tour?” Nolan questioned. 

“Oh, well Adrian said this is my comeback meet, so it’s a revenge tour to show how cool I am,” when you got a nod in response from Nolan, you looked over to Joel who stood awkwardly beside him, “Farabee, do you talk or just stand awkwardly 24/7?”

When he heard you say his name, his eyebrows rose in surprise, “how come you know me, but I don’t know you?”

“Well, you see, I actually talk to people instead of just standing off to the side awkwardly. Plus, you’re literally Kev’s teammate, so it would be bad if I didn’t realize who you were.”

“I feel like you’re just upset I wasn’t talking to you, babe,” Joel added. 

“Awe, yes, of course. The pain in my heart from not talking to you is unbearable, thank you for sparing a few words,” you said sarcastically, placing your hand over your heart.

“Ok, children, that’s enough of that for today. We just came to wish you good luck, we’re going to go wait outside the tunnel so that way you can get your pep talk as usual. Now, c’mon, Beezer,” Kevin pushed Joel out of the way and towards the exit before he could say anything else. 

“Are we skipping over that for right now or?” Nolan asked as you walked back to where you were standing by the wall before they came over. When he got a simple nod in response he let out a simple ok, “what event are you starting on?”

“Floor. I’m pretty sure at least.”

“Ok, what’s the worst thing about the floor for you right now?” and the two of you talked about each event like you did every competition. Nolan doing his best to make sure that you talked out everything that was on your mind. Giving you a quick hug and a quick you got this, he made his way back towards his seat. You made your way back to get your warm up jacket from the locker room and went to find Marcus. 

By the time Nolan had made it back to his seat, the announcement that warm up and stretching would start now went off. “Ok, I genuinely thought the only people that did gymnastics were like 10 year olds,” Joel said. 

“10 year olds doing gymnastics is honestly a really boring thing to watch. Like when y/n was 10, I hated going to her meets. She was good, yeah, but it was boring and all of them had the same routines. 0/10 would not recommend,” Kevin added. 

“Are we all just ignoring whatever the fuck happened when y/n/n met Joel? Or was I the only one that noticed?” Nolan was shocked by the fact that no one had mentioned it. When the group went quiet for a moment, the only thing that could be heard was Karly holding back a laugh. “Care to share with the class, Karly?”

“Nope. I want to see how this one plays out before I make any comments,” to which the whole group looked at her confused. “It’s a developing story. It has to develop, obviously.”

Once the national anthem was over, the first event that you had was floor. “y/n/n, I don’t care how you do today, I just need you to go for everything. You have it in you to get high scores anyways, so just focus on doing your skills,” Marcus said, “you just have to do this 1 minute and 30 second routine, land all your tumbling, do your jumps well, stay tight, and you got this.”

“Representing the United States of America, y/n y/l/n on floor,” the announcer read over the loudspeaker. 

“Alright Twinkle Toes, go have fun out there,” Marcus told you one last time before you made your way up to the floor. You stood there anxiously, awaiting the judges who were somehow never ready on time to salute you. Once they did salute you, you flashed your best smile and marched onto the floor, going to your beginning pose. 

The group up in the stands were anxiously awaiting for your music to start, which did include Kevin having to yell at Joel to put his phone up before you performed. All of them believed in you, but this was your first competition back and they weren’t sure how it would go. Would you be back to your old competition level? Better? Would you hurt your knee again? They knew the risks, but simply pushed it to the back of their head. 

Just stick the landings. Four tumbling passes. Three leap series. Two turns. And one score. You have worked your ass off to get back to where you are now; this was your comeback and if you started off great, you could only go up from there. Hearing the beep that signaled that the floor music was starting, the first few notes of ‘Feeling Good’ rang out and you started your routine. 

Starting off your routine with a small dance combo and some poses, you went straight in with two back to back tumbling passes. After the first tumbling pass, the tension in your body eased up. You were back in your element for the first time officially since your injury and you couldn’t have felt better. Right now you didn’t care what score you got, you were just happy to be back. You went for your leaps and jumps, then your final two tumbling passes. 

After finishing your routine in your end pose, you saluted the judges again and practically ran back to Marcus. “I did it, oh my god. I did that,” you weren’t in shock, but the realization finally hit you that you had officially had a great start to the comeback tour. “Yeah, we all knew you could, y/n/n. I’m not shocked,” Marcus hugged you. 

When the camera came around as results of your routine came back, you simply smiled and waved towards the camera as you listened to Marcus tell you the plan for the rest of the competition. When the score results came up, it showed that you were in first place. Everyone else had competed in one event already, so you knew it wasn’t just an accident. You were back. 

“Dude, are you crying?” TK nudged Kevin, who quickly wiped his tears. 

“No, but if I were, it’s a completely valid response to a time like this,” Kevin said quickly. 

What you hadn’t noticed from where you were was how much Joel had been watching you. Before your routine started, he couldn’t have been less interested, but once he saw you performing and the smile on your face after you finished your routine he was hooked. Everyone did take note of how much he was watching you, especially Karly. 

“And the story keeps developing,” she thought. 

With a good score on vault and on bars, you were still doing fine in the meet - it was you and Kathryn Davis for first and second, but this event would show who won all around. The only event that you had left was beam, you only hoped that your hesitation wasn’t as obvious as you felt. You obviously wouldn’t be doing the dismount, you were just going to do a double back that you had solid and weren’t afraid of doing. But even with that, you still had fears looming around a dismount you knew like the back of your hand. 

The fear that you had for beam was evident when you had a few too many wobbles - which made your score lower - luckily there were no falls, but it still affected your score. Even with a lower score you still beat Kathryn in All Around, but came third on beam. 

After awards and talks with media, you made your way back to the locker room to get your gym bag. “y/n, oh my god. Babes, you did amazing. I’m so proud of you,” Nicole came rushing in for a hug. 

“Thanks, Nic. I’m just glad to be back, winning was just a plus,” you said, smiling, “do you still plan on coming with me, Karly, and the guys if we go out to eat?” to which she simply nodded. The two of you made your way to the usual spot you met Kevin after a gymnastics meet. 

Eventually the group made their way over there, all of them quickly congratulating you. “y/n/n, I hope you know how proud I am of you right now,” Kevin said softly after hugging you, “you’ve come such a long way and you rocked it today.”

“KD is slowly approaching,” Nolan said. 

“y/n, omg, it was so cool competing against you. Sorry to have beat you on beam though, maybe if you tried your dismount you would have won,” she said, a fake smile on her face.

“Well, sweetie. You do know that’s just one event right? In everything else, I still beat you. Even when I hurt myself last year, I still somehow ended up with the gold, so you honestly have nothing to brag about,” you said, your fake smile matching hers.

“I see you brought your hockey players to help you out here, how nice of them.”

Everyone watched cautiously, Kevin ready to pull you back if he needed to; Nolan, TK, and Karly were all ready to jump in and help you fight; while Joel just stood there realizing how much he liked seeing you when you were mad. A lovely dynamic for today. 

“Hun, if anyone needs help, it’s you. Especially in the math department, apparently. But congrats on the one gold medal, you deserve it,” and with that you stepped away from her and towards the doors of the arena. 

Somehow Joel was the one that was walking closest to you, “hey, you ok?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good. She just annoys me a lot, nothing crazy,” you shrugged. 

“You did good today. It’s crazy what you can do out there honestly,” he said genuinely. 

“Awe, Farabee, that’s so sweet. ”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t get used to it, babe,” he said, slightly nudging you.

“Are you guys seeing this, too?” Karly asked the guys walking beside her, “like y/n and Bee? Or are your eyes not working today?”

“Maybe we shouldn’t have introduced the two?” Kevin says looking back towards you two just as you trip Farabee, “yeah, maybe not the wisest decision?” 

“Haha, suck on that on-,” your sentence interrupted as he pulled your shin to where you ended up on the ground of the parking lot beside him, “that was uncalled for, Bee.” 

“No, it was perfectly reasonable, you were rude to me earlier, so it’s payback.” 

“What the fuck is she doing on the ground?” Nicole asked as she caught up to the group, confused by your and Joel’s actions, to which everyone around her simply shrugged. 

…..

“There she is, the gymnastics superstar. How was the first night of the ‘y/n y/l/n Revenge Tour?” Adrian asked as you entered his office. 

“Eh, same old, same old. You win some and you lose some, and then people are extremely petty about the fact that they lost, so they bring up a traumatic injury that you hardly ever talk about while making fun of you losing an event, yada, yada, yada,” you smiled. 

“Didn’t really know all that, but I’m proud of you,” Adrian led you over to sit on the bench, so that he could check your knee, “your knee looks- why is there a phone number written on your shin?” 

“Ohhh, haha. About that. I forgot to wash it off,” you said simply. 

“Girl, I know there is way more to that story that you aren’t sharing. C’mon spill.” 

“Ok, well basically. Kevin brought one of his teammates to the game, and there’s this kinda like tension that’s there, but it’s not. So, I kinda tripped him in the parking lot to show that I’m so in love with him and he tripped me back, then we all went out to eat. We’re basically engaged now, we’ve already bought a house and a dog,” you said in a monotone voice. 

“Ok, enough with the attitude, I just asked about the boy. So, what’s his name?”

“Joel Farabee.”

“What’s your specific nickname for him?” Adrian placed some athletic tape below your knee, just as precaution.

“Bee, but he doesn’t have a specific one from me yet, we aren’t that close,” you jokingly rolled your eyes, “no, but he couldn’t find a blank piece of paper, so he just wrote his number on my shin.”

“Did he not see your arm? And have you texted him yet?” Adrian asked as you started with your daily drills, rolling his eyes when he saw you shake your head, “look, he’s a hockey player. I have dealt with a few of those. 7/10, might recommend. They’re interesting individuals, that’s all I can say. But you have to text him.”

“Ok, well read me the number and I’ll text him,” opening your phone, you pulled up your texts, “wait, what the fuck do I say?”

“Well, there’s this word in the English language that works as a simple greeting when you don’t know what else to say. A three letter word, pretty simple.”

“Adrian. I don’t need the attitude today, this is stressful enough,” you quickly typed up the message and practically threw your phone across the room right after, “there, I did it.”

“Did you just throw your phone?”

“Yep, but I texted him,” you said, holding two thumbs up.

“I didn’t realize how much you doing gymnastics your whole life influenced your social skills. My deepest condolences to you,” the both of you looked over towards where you threw your phone when you heard a notification go off, “you better check that before I do.”

���Okay, fine,” quickly grabbing your phone, answering quickly to which he responded just as fast, “he simply asked if I was going to be at Kevin’s later and if I wanted coffee, so, are we done here?”

“Mhm, get your coffee. And I expect updates.” 

As you were on the drive home, your phone started buzzing continuously, you realized that it was just Nicole, “hey, babes. What’s up?” 

“Have you checked twitter? Or instagram? Or anything?”

“No? I’ve been at P.T, why?”

“You’re not going to like what I’m about to say, so if you’re still in the car, I suggest pulling over for your own safety.”

You pulled into your apartment complex, “ok, I’m home. What’s up?”

“Just check Kathryn’s instagram, but apparently she’s been training her 3.5 dismount on beam for months and she has it now. She said she plans on competing it at the U.S. classic in May.” 

[moonofthenight]

Skip a Beat

Ahhh I can’t believe we are almost done with this baby, it’s so much fun to write!!

Full masterlist here

*

Credit for O’Knutzy goes to @lumosinlove

*

Thank you for betaing this chapter @spookypotato <3

*

CW mentions of beverages

Chapter Four

Finn stepped into the dance school, his bag thrown over his right shoulder. He has been racking his brain all morning and all the way to the studio. The bell above the door jingled and June looked up, immediately seeing that something was wrong.

“What’s with that face?” her voice was filled with so much tenderness and Finn stopped dead in his tracks.

“June,” he said almost desperately.

She was in front of him within seconds, looking him in the eyes, searching for any kind of sign of what was going on.

“Oh love, what happened? Come on, we still have some time before we open. Let’s make you some tea.”

She grabbed his hand, pulling him into the cosy staff room, taking Finn’s bag and pressing him down on the couch. Finn just pulled his knees up, wrapping his arms around them, staring blankly at the door. June was worried, she hadn’t seen Finn like this, well, since he left New York and not knowing what was going on in his mind was driving her crazy, but she didn’t push.

They stayed silent; the only thing audible was the boiling water.

Another minute passed and June made her way over with two steaming mugs, handing one of them to Finn.

“There you go, now tell me what is going on in that pretty head of yours.”

Finn took a deep breath before he started talking.

“You know Leo and Logan? The two boys I am teaching right now?”

“Oh yeah, I remember the two. What about them?”

“Well, they invited me to dinner last night. Wanted to show me Sid’s, really good pizza I must say, but that is beside the point. They are a couple, you know, and I- fuck June. Ever since Leo stepped into my studio, all I could think about were his stupid beautiful eyes and his curls with his fucking grey streak.”

He let out a defeating sigh, putting his hands over his eyes.

June just started rubbing her hand over his back, sensing that, that was not all, but knowing better than to ask.

“That’s not even the worst part,” he mumbled carefully, his voice breaking at the end.

“I think- I think I’m starting to like Logan too.”

There. He said it.

“Is this normal? June, am I going crazy? I don’t know how to make it stop. It’s all so overwhelming,” Finn said on the verge of tears now, turning his head to look at his friend.

He looked at her so desperately it broke her heart.

“Hey, Finn, no. This is completely normal, okay? You have heard of polyamorous relationships; you know better than that. It’s not crazy Finn. You are just taught differently by society, but fuck society.”

He laughed a bit despite himself but he brought himself back to reality pretty quickly.

“But honestly, the chance that they would want that too equals zero.”

“You don’t know that.”

Finn looked at his lukewarm tea in his hand, taking a sip, leaning into his best friend.

“I think I need to be alone for a bit. I’ll be in the studio.”

June nodded and Finn got up, giving her a kiss on the cheek and grabbing his bag. He stepped into his studio opposite the staff room, inhaling deeply. Dance studios always had that kind of effect on him. It was like a sweet lullaby, calming him down, letting him escape for a bit. He connected his phone with the speakers, put on a song and just started, letting the emotions flow out of him.

He moved gracefully, connecting with every muscle, feeling his body and the floor beneath him, which helped him to sort out his thoughts. His feelings were like the ocean, he noticed. Leo was the flow and Logan the ebb, pulling him back and forth, churning him up. He reached a point where he wasn’t able to tell what he was doing, the music taking over his body, letting it move him, not the other way around. He danced out of muscle memory, turning and doing grand jetes with practiced ease.

And he danced and danced and danced.

He was sweating by the time the song ended but he felt better, so much better. It was going to be okay.

----

Leo and Logan arrived at the rink pretty early. Cap called for a bit of team bonding before the game tonight, which was important for the Lions to win, so it was no surprise when they were greeted by a whole bunch of hockey players.

“Knutty! Tremz! You arrived just in time; we were about to head onto the ice. Hurry up,” Remus called from the stall next to Sirius’, practically glowing.

It was still pretty new to see Remus in full gear and not his PT-jacket, but it was the best thing, honestly. He was an amazing player, falling in line with the others easily and he was a Lion long before, so it was obviously a given that the team would welcome him with open arms.

Leo and Logan changed in no time, following the others, enjoying the familiar feeling of blades scratching the ice. Leo skated a few circles around his goal, stretching and preparing his zone for the little game.

They played for a good hour, including lots of laughing, hugs and a heartwarming speech from the captain. Sirius had been in a really good mood recently, in a better one than usually, which probably has something to do with the ring that was glistening on his finger. He never passed a chance to show it off.

Logan was reaching for the Gatorade, when he saw his phone flashing. He jumped over the boards to check who send the message, a smile subconsciously making its way onto his face.

Can I come to the rink for the game tonight or is it too last minute?

“What are you smiling at, sweetheart?” a familiar voice asked form behind him.

“Finn asks if he can come to the game tonight,” Logan said, showing Leo the message, who just smiled knowingly in return.

“Cap,” Leo shouted, turning around “do we have a place in the lounge for tonight?”

“Sure thing,” Sirius shouted back, wanting to ask more questions but deciding against it.

Time flew by. Suddenly the game was only an hour away and Logan was currently waiting at the entrance for Finn to arrive. He didn’t have to wait long before a familiar redhead appeared in front of him, pulling the shorter boy into a hug. Logan noticed that Finn could rest his cheek against his head if he wanted to and suddenly, he realised that his heart was beating faster at the thought of getting to hold Finn longer than what would be ‘normal’.

What was happening?!

He didn’t have the time to think about it because Finn was already pulling away.

“Thank you for picking me up, I think I would be a bit lost otherwise.”

“Don’t mention it Harz, let’s go, I need to be on the ice soon.”

Logan grabbed Finn’s hand, ignoring the tickling sensation caused by it, and pulled him through the mass of people, to the stairs that would bring them to the lounge.

“Here is your ticket, you just have to walk up the stairs now. Drinks and food are for free, so, enjoy yourself. I’ll pick you up again after the game, just stay upstairs,” Logan explained as he pulled out the small piece of paper, giving it to Finn.

On his way back, Logan got into full on game mode, falling into a familiar rhythm with the team, stretching and focusing on winning against the opponent.

Both, Leo and Logan hadn’t played this good since the start of the season. Leo got a shutout, saving every single shot from the Snakes while Logan assisted Sirius with two out of his three goals.

A pair of brown eyes followed every movement from above, going wide with every hit, shining with every celebration.

[between-two-fandoms]

Cause This Is Our Someday

Ao3 Link

Fandom: Big Time Rush

Rated: T

Word Count: 1,622

Pairing: Kendall KnightxLogan Mitchell

Tag list (ask to be added or removed):

@toomanyfandomstoolittletime @innocentbi-stander @mirrcrballbaby

Kendall enlists Katie and James's help getting him ready for a date with Logan. Self discoveries, pining and meddling little sisters prove to complicate things for Kendall, though this is what should have been a simple first date with his boyfriend.

~~~~~~~~~

Kendall loved his family, they were easily the most important thing in his life outside of hockey…. Hockey and maybe now the band. Especially Katie, his adorable albeit sometimes scary little sister. She gave up so much just so he and his boys could become a band. Sometimes… sometimes he’d forget, though she was only twelve she still had friends back in Minnesota. She had her people, however little they were.

Katie was one of the strongest twelve year olds he knew, she was his rock. She was his sounding board on a lot of things like, for example, getting ready for a date with Logan. “Too much?” Kendall asked, a hint of flush on his face as he walked out of the bathroom in a loud Hawaian polo shirt. Katie stared at him blankly from her spot perched on the top of the kitchen table.

“Way too much big brother,” Katie said between stifled laughs. A flash went off and before Kendall could make a grab for it she already had her phone tucked back into her bag. “You need to be… not so ugly,” she admitted. Kendall let out a noise of protest.

“I am not ugly,” he squeaked. Katie rolled her eyes and hopped off the table. She walked over to him and made him spin around so she could see all angles. “I’m the front man for a boy band that hit the top charts on our first tour.” Kendall said, only to get a snort in response. Katie grab his arm to get him to stop spinning.

She stared up at him and he couldn’t exactly place the expression. Katie learned how to master expressions as a young child - she was still young - but the control she had and how grown up she already was sometimes made Kendall’s heart hurt. “Your fans didn’t know you when you decided wearing a purple sequined dress shirt to homecoming was a good idea. If it wasn’t for Kelly and your stylist I’d bet Big Time Rush’s signature outfit would’ve been those stinky old jersey’s,” Katie scrunched up her nose and Kendall put his hands on his hips.

“Are you going to help me or just sit there and insult me Miss. Fashion Police?” Kendall asked, staring at her. Kate giggled and then put two fingers into her mouth and whistled. Confusion crossed his face then realization sparked in Kendall’s eyes when James rounded the corner holding jeans and a muscle t-shirt with some band logo. “Oh no, nuh uh definitely not,” Kendall vetoed, backing up from the offensive outfit.

James just stared at Kendall pointedly. “Dude, you’re easily the guy with the most muscle. Logan likes staring at them,” he added, a smirk on his face. Kendall glared at James and Katie in betrayal.

“How do you know he likes staring at my arms?” Kendall asked, crossing them against his chest defensively. Katie cackled, the laughter loud and whole. He was glad the two of them were having fun laughing at his expense. All he wanted was fashion advice, next time maybe he’d go to the Jennifers instead.

Katie shook her head, rolling her eyes. “You’re in the front so you can’t tell, but why do you think Logan’s been tripping over his feet during practice recently?” She asked, a mischievous glint in her eyes Kendall couldn’t quite bring himself to trust. Katie liked getting her sticky fingers involved into his love life, she had a history of sabotaging his dates if she didn’t like the girl. Granted, in the long run she’d always be right but that's besides the point.

“Kendoll, come on!” James insisted, his eyes sparkling as he took a step closer. Kendall dropped one of his arms, keeping the other securely wrapped around his chest. “You’d look so smoking in this fit, these are from that awesome jean store in the mall - Denim On Denim?” He asked. James smirked a little bit, the corner of his lips curling up into a smile. “Plus like… if Logan doesn’t like the shirt on you I’m sure he’d like the shirt even more when it’s off you.” Kendall’s face flushed bright red and he snapped his hand out and snatched the shirt from James.

“Okay okay enough. You guys are the absolute worse,” Kendall complained, though there was no earnesty to it. James and Katie snickered behind him as he ducked back into the bathroom to change the date outfit. “Logan and I are going to keep things PG13 tonight,” he said through the bathroom door emphasizing the term. He was acesexual, not that the other two knew that yet but… god Logan was so understanding when he came out. Kendall tried to explain how he felt about the whole Sex thing, that he could take it or leave it, that it wasn’t the most important thing in the world to him and Logan just held him through it, hugging him.

Once he won the short lived battle with the muscle shirt and pulled it over his head Kendall took a few seconds to appreciate the look in the mirror himself - he hated to admit it but they were right. He did look ridiculously good in a muscle shirt. Kendall brushed his fingers through his air in a halfhearted attempt to get it to stay down. He wasn’t worried too much about his hair, it would give Logan an excuse to play with it.

James cat called him when Kendall finally left the bathroom in the chosen outfit for date night. “You’re looking fly as hell Knight,” James said, a hint of jealousy in his voice. “Logan’s gonna love it,” for some reason Kendall detected some sort of… wistfulness… in James’ voice when he spoke. Almost something with a bittersweet taste to it. Before Kendall could ask what was wrong James whisked him into the family room for pre-date pictures. Carlos was waiting for them with a camera on a tripod all set up and Kendall’s ears flushed pink.

“Awe, he’s embarrassed,” Katie teased lightheartedly. Kendall stuck his tongue out at her, she stuck her tongue out back. “Kendork, you’re going to kill it,” she promised. Anxiety bubbled up underneath Kendall’s skin as his brain worked through all the way things could go wrong during his date with Logan. “James he’s doing the Thing again,” Katie complained, walking over to dig into the pantry for a bag of popcorn.

“Yeah I can see that,” James said unhelpfully. Kendall had begun pacing, nervously walking back and forth as he ran a hole into the carpet in the living room. “Hey Kendall, buddy you need to look at me,” James reached out hesitantly, but Kendall didn’t flinch away from his hand. James put his hand on Kendall’s shoulder and squeezed it. Kendall stopped pacing, his eyes were still a little unfocused but his breathing got slower. “Logan is so gone for you there’s literally zero competition,” James continued, keeping his hand on Kendall’s shoulder, a grounding force. “It’s painfully obvious you guys feel for each other,” he said… there was that hint of bittersweet again. Kendall let out a quiet whine and reached out for James, pulling him in for a hug.

“Simp,” Katie coughed into her popcorn. James glared at her to get her to shut up then turned his attention back to Kendall. Kendall was already feeling a lot better than he did before. He always felt safe around James. They always knew what they felt to each other, they always… they could always go to each other for help… for anything.

“Kendall?” Some asked quietly from behind them. It took Kendall a few seconds to place the voice then the name slid into place and he took a deep breath. Logan, his mind supplied. He hugged James for a few more seconds, holding him close to his heart, then Kendall pulled away. For a brief millisecond an expression of hurt flickered across James’s face but then his smile was back. It was so quick Kendall swore he imagined it happening. “Wow, you look… you look really good,” Logan said, his voice soft and warm. Kendall smiled bashfully at Logan, stepping into his outstretched arms. Kendall accepted the hug, letting Logan pull him in as he pressed his face into Logan’s shoulder.

“See?” Katie asked teasingly, chucking a handful of popcorn at Kendall. “I told you he’d like it! But oh no you didn’t believe me,” she singsonged, skipping around the room. Logan chuckled at the interaction and pressed a soft kiss to the top of Kendall’s head. Kendall pulled out of Logan’s chest looking a bit more flushed than normal, a boyish smile on his face. He reached down to interlock their fingers together. They let Carlos snap a few pictures of them before Logan insisted they’d miss it, whatever it was Logan was taking Kendall too. James had disappeared somewhere in the madness - Kendall made a mental note to check on him later. Surely it was nothing one of his infamous pep talks couldn’t fix.

“Ready?” Kendall asked, a nervous tremor to his voice. Logan smiled at Kendall and squeezed his hand.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Logan promised. He tugged Kendall a bit closer to steal a chaste kiss on the lips. “You really do look amazing Kendall,” he whispered, nuzzling into the nape of Kendall’s neck. Katie let out a noise of disgust then left the room, complaining about PDA in common areas or something. “Come on, I promise you’re going to love this,” Logan said, his eyes lighting up as he spoke. Kendall nodded and kissed Logan’s shoulder as he let Logan tug him out of the apartment and to wherever life was taking them next.

[beauvibaby]

staff - r.hintz

requested [x] yes [] no

request- in summary: reader is part of the medical/training staff and has a flirty relationship with Roope that becomes more.

warnings: not proof read lol

You saw the hit, you saw every hit, everytime. Not only was it part of your job, but it was a personal mission of yours to never miss a game that he played in. You chewed your lip as you could tell this was the hit that would put him out of the game.

“Well if it isn’t my favorite girl.” Roope smiled from his spot on the table, hiding the pain he was currently feeling, “Mhm, I wish it was under better circumstances.” You retorted. You raised a brow at him when he went to sit up and say he was fine but the bruise forming on his shoulder said otherwise. He stayed silent as you helped him sit up gently, careful not to put too much pressure on his shoulder. “I think you’d take any chance to see me.” He quipped, earning an eye roll from you. “Getting daring today, Hintz.” You smiled, snapping the latex gloves on, he groaned and tensed up as you went to feel around the shoulder. “Son of a-“ “language.” You cut him off, he glared at you, despite the playfulness dancing in his eyes. “Well the good news is it’s not out of place.” You paused, gently smiling at him, “bad news is I think you might have fractured your arm.” He threw his head back, using his good hand to rub over his face as he groaned. “I’ll tell them to send you for an x-ray.” You sighed, “sorry, Roope.”

Watching the rest of the games from outside of the bubble killed you, not only because you couldn’t be there to help the team, but even more so because you couldn’t see Roope. You knew it was highly frowned upon, any relationship between staff and team members was, especially when it came down to evaluating injuries, they worried about personal bias. You just couldn’t help yourself, he started the flirting, and before you knew it, you were flirting right back, and he’d found your Instagram, occasionally replying to your stories with cheeky responses. Always making your heart skip a beat, thinking there was a chance that he felt the same and wasn’t just being a flirt for no reason. You chewed your lip in thought, debating on what you were about to do, this would either be really smart or really dumb, and you hoped Roope would think it was the first option.

“Roope, you just about gave me a heart attack tonight! Be careful.”

You sent the message, instantly locking your phone and tossing it to the other side of the couch, you couldn’t bear to look at it. You changed the channel as they began going over the game you had just watched, of course replaying his hit into the boards, over and over, you couldn’t look any longer. You put some stupid reality show on for background noise as you began picking up your apartment, you saw your phone light up from its spot on the couch, you shook your head and decided to leave it for now, focusing your anxiety into cleaning, something you’ve been meaning to do anyways. But then your phone lit up not once, but twice more and you caved, breathing hitched in your throat as you saw the responses from Roope.

“Oh my, is THE y/n worried about me?”

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me… besides now I’ve got a reason to come see you when I get back, you know, to make sure I’m not really injured.”

“Goodnight, Y/N ❤️”

You opened the messages and stared at them, ultimately deciding on liking his response and sending a goodnight of your own, a nervous but hopeful smile etched into your face until you slipped into sleep that night.

***

You couldn’t get in to work quick enough today, not only were you finally able to get back to work, but you had a sneak suspicion that you’d be seeing Roope today. You were practically beaming under your mask, but luckily no one could tell, because of, well—the mask. “Y/N, I need you to help with the beginning of therapy, Roope needs to start rehabbing that shoulder.” You tuned out the rest as your boss raddled off jobs to your coworkers, now you were really glad you had a mask on, because it also hid the pink tint that covered your cheeks. You shook your head as you made your way down the hall, doing your best to knock any thoughts out of your head. You can’t do anything about them, so why even humor them. That’s what you told yourself, but it all went out the window when you stepped into the room and saw Roope sitting there on his phone. You hadn’t realized how worried you were about seeing him until now, you blinked a couple of times, pushing your emotions back, you cleared your throat to make your presence known. “Y/N.” He mumbled, shooting to his feet, his eyes looking even bluer in contrast of the black mask adorning his face. “You’re ok?” You breathed out, the statement coming out as a question rather than you confirming it.

“I told you not to worry about me.” He chuckled softly as you approached him, you shook your head, sighing into your mask, you pulled the sleeve of his shirt up to see a bruise similar to the last time you’d seen him. “It’s easier said than done, the way you hit those boards, it scared me..” you trailed off, mentally cursing yourself for being so vulnerable. Roope stayed silent for a moment, but you could feel his eyes scanning the side of your face. You were biting down hard on your lip, but he couldn’t see that. “I’m ok, Y/N, see.” He mumbled, raising his arm as high as he could before he winced. You let out a choked laugh, “don’t overdo it.” You mumbled, meeting his eyes. “Go on a date with me.” He spoke quickly, you took a step back, “what?” You gasped, widening your eyes as he remained calm, like he hadn’t just said what he just said. “Go on a date with me.” He said again, “please?” He added, watching as you warily eyed him. “Roope, we can’t, my job.” You stuttered out, hating every word falling from your lips. “One date, just so we know.” He stood, stepping closer, his eyes showing his smile when you didn’t step back. “If it doesn’t work, we can pretend it never happened.” He assured you, “and if it does work?” You all but whimpered, his hand resting on your waist. “We’ll figure it out.” Roope sighed, eyes pleading with you. “Ok.” “Really?” He gasped, groaning when he went to throw his arms up, you laughed at him, gently running a hand over the injured spot. “Let’s work on this first, yeah?”

***

Four dates later, it was safe to say you really enjoyed spending time with Roope, and him with you. Although, you did worry about people finding out, you hadn’t yet figured that out, it wasn’t that easy, you were possibly putting your job at risk, for him. He was worth it, but that didn’t make you any less terrified. “Hi, babe.” Roope mumbled appearing behind you, nearly sending you flying to the ceiling. “You can’t scare me like that!” You whined slowly turning to face him and shooting away from him when you saw Miro and Esa in the doorway. “They know.” Roope admitted, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck, “they what?!” You shrieked, glaring at the trio of Finnish boys in front of you. “He didn’t tell us, I swear I just figured it out!” Miro rushed, coming to his friend's aid as you shot daggers at him. This sent you into a frenzy, if they figured it out, who else figured it out, who else could figure it out? You looked up at Roope with wide, completely worried eyes, “Y/N?” He questioned, eyebrows pulling together as you looked at him. “What’s wrong?” He asked, the two other boys stepping out into the hallway, you paid no mind to them as you shrunk away from Roope. “What if other people find out? What if it affects my job? What if-“ “Stop, breathe.” He cut you off, placing his hands on your shoulders. “Everything will work out, I have faith.” Normally you appreciated his optimism, but right now you felt like you were the only one being realistic. “Roope.” You sighed, stepping away from him again, hearing commotion out in the hallway, Esa shot his head in with a nervous smile, “Mr. Porter is here to see you.” He spoke, your boss appearing behind him, eyebrows raised high at the way Roope was reaching for you, and the fact that the two guys had been standing outside the door like guards.

“Y/N, Roope.” Mr. Porter nodded, eyeing the two of you as the fellow hockey players ran off like they’d be grounded if they didn’t. “Mr. Porter, what can I do for you?” You questioned, Roope awkwardly shifted away, knowing that if this didn’t go well you’d be furious at him for being so reckless. Your boss looked between the two of you, sighing as he shut the door, you sank down in your seat, cringing at whatever was coming. “Well, coincidentally I was looking for the two of you, to see how his rehab was coming, but it seems we have something else to talk about as well…” he trailed off, taking a seat beside your desk, motioning for Roope to sit as well, of course, being the way he is, he pulled the chair right up beside yours.

A sign of solidarity, if you will.

“Shoulders great, sir.” Roope piped up, and had you been alone you would’ve whacked his arm in annoyance, you settled for tapping him with your foot, glancing at him for a split second. “I’m sure it is.” Mr. Porter laughed, the both of you blushing softly, “Y/N, you can relax, you’re not going to lose your job.” He added and you didn’t realize how much breath you were holding in, you let out an exhale of relief, Roope having a small one of his own as well. “You can’t treat him anymore, that’s all.” You gasped at the words, “that’s it?” The two guys chuckled at you, and this time you did shoot Roope a soft glare. “Yes, I’ll switch you and Joey, you’ll have Tyler now.” Roope rolled his eyes, earning a chuckle from your boss as he stood. “Don’t be late, Y/N.” He called walking out the door, you turned to Roope and finally gave him the whack he deserved, he laughed at how lightly you hit him. “Ouch.” He faked hurt, whining dramatically. “You’re insane, and lucky.” You sighed, wrapping your arms around his waist in a hug. “Aw.” He teased, you pinched his back and he yelped, “hey, that really hurts!” He complained, leaning down to peck your lips. “Does that mean we can stop sneaking around now?” He asked hopefully. “The guys have been chirping me for not bringing my girl around, they’re saying I don’t really have one.” He pouted childishly.

“Well then bring me around, you guys are going out tonight right? Bring me.” You grinned, watching as he opened and closed his mouth trying to find the words, he settled on pulling you in for a kiss. “You better not get handsy with Seguin.” He mumbled as he pulled away, “that’s literally my job, babe.”

“You guys and your freaking shoulder injuries.” You chastised with a smile as Tyler was in rough shape considering how long he’s been working on it. “Rude.” He scoffed, you got along with all the guys really, but the flirting only ever happened with Roope, you were just sarcastic with the others, something they could appreciate, considering they didn’t want to be stuck doing these appointments anyways. “Have you heard?” He asked after a while, you lifted your eyebrows as you showed him how to stretch out the muscle, “heard what?” You mumbled, adjusting his position, softly apologizing as he winced. “Hintz has a girl.” He gave you a side eyed look as you played it off too calmly, “are you jealous?” He gasped, nearly whacking you as he turned with his arm still extended. You ducked and glared at him, “I’m not jealous.” You shrugged, only fueling him on. “That’s what you would say if you were jealous.” He pointed out, “it’s also what I would say if I wasn’t jealous,” you threw it right back at him, “get back to work Seguin.”

***

You were walking up to the bar, approaching the guys, but paused as you faintly overheard them talking. “I’m telling you man, she’s got the hots for you.” Tyler spoke, nudging Roope, you had to hold back a giggle when Roope rolled his eyes and looked away, his gaze falling on you for a moment. “Too bad, I’m spoken for.” Roope responded, leaning against the bar, Tyler followed suit, you walked in between them, Jamie on the other side of Tyler. “Y/N, what are you doing here?” He asked with a smile, you shrugged, “meeting up with my boyfriend.” You answered, casually leaning into Roope’s side, Tyler glanced up from his drink, doing a double take as Jamie started repeatedly hitting his arm with an open hand. “I told you!” Jamie snapped at his friend. “But you, you’re-I’m an idiot.” Tyler stuttered out as Roope easily pulled you closer to him. “Hi, baby.” Roope mumbled, kissing the top of your head as Tyler shook his. “Finally!” Esa cheered, “it was getting hard not to slip up.” He added, and both Tyler and Jamie whipped around, “you knew?!” They gasped, Miro appeared beside them, “yeah.” He nodded and they shot daggers at him too. “Geez, did anyone else know?” Jamie asked, you shook your head from your place in Roope’s arms. “No, they figured it out.” You answered, smiling when Roope squeezed you a little tighter. “You’re getting slow in your old age, boys.” You added teasingly, laughing when they rolled their eyes angrily. “Your girlfriend is rude.” Tyler grumbled to Roope, picking his beer up and trudging off to the rest of the guys, “I happen to think she’s pretty nice!” Roope called, earning a middle finger from Tyler. “I’m glad you came.” Roope whispered to you, kissing you softly when you turned to meet his gaze, “Mhm, me too.”

taglist: @starkeysdunn​ @kempe​ @vincecdunn​ @literarycharleton​ @wtfkie​

[generallybarzy]

smile like sunshine

Introduction: ~7,600 words

mat barzal series

summary: A lot changes in ten years, and a lot changes when someone grows used to having constant attention, fans, and fame- so surely the boy you knew back then was long gone. Even if you had been the closest of friends that one month back in 2008, there was no way he remembers you, or even wants to talk to you anymore...

an: Here it finally is!!! I know, I know, it's super long. I was gonna split it up, but it made more sense to keep the intro in one part for the backstory and setting up the main plot and then have the rest of the story on the beach. I really hope this comes together like I want it to!

From the moment you first saw him, you knew you were going to be best friends; but what you could never know, at only nine years old, was that you were going to fall head over heels in love with him one day.

Looking back now, he was adorable as a child, but that wasn’t what your little nine-year-old mind was thinking at the time. All you were focused on back then was the sheer awesomeness of that sandcastle he was building and the overwhelming amount of loneliness that was overtaking you on what was supposed to be a fun, month-long family vacation. He was just a boy, caked in sand from crawling around on his hands and knees to construct what you thought back then was the most complex structure of architecture in existence, and you were just a girl, your desperation for a friend to play with outweighing your shyness. Your parents seemed too busy with the new babies to pay attention to you, so you had to find someone else to hang out with, and here was this boy. You had approached him hesitantly, just really wanting something to do and someone to play with other than your annoying siblings, hoping that he wouldn’t turn you away.

“Did you make that?” Your first words to him were spoken shyly, hesitant, and had him looking up at you, squinting from the sun through his dark locks of hair.

“Yeah.”

“All by yourself?” He nodded again, looking proud. “It’s awesome!”

“Thanks!” He glanced back to his work for a second before pushing himself to his feet and offering you a sand bucket. “You wanna help?”

“Yes, please.”

“Cool.” He smiled brightly, showing off a missing tooth, and you smiled back, it was impossible not to with how full of sunshine this boy seemed to be. You followed him out towards the water to scoop up some wet sand. “I’m Mat.”

“I’m (Y/N).”

It was really that simple to become friends. You soon came to find that Mat was really funny, one of the funniest people you’d ever met- and still to this day you couldn’t forget how green his eyes sparkled in the sunlight while he was laughing, even if he was just laughing at his own silly jokes. The two of you slaved away at building your sandcastle in the hot sun and laughing at each other’s jokes for what seemed like hours before your parents came over to find you playing with a new friend. Your parents and his talked- about nothing you cared about at that age- while you and Mat sat with your feet in the water, eating ice pops and getting sunburned without a care in the world.

You still thought back to that month to this day. It was still one of your happiest memories: those hot watermelon and ice pop summer days giving you sticky faces and hands and sunburnt skin, eating ice cream on your tenth birthday and skipping along the pier next to him with your moms chatting behind you, collecting shells and messing with crabs together, being splashed with seawater and laughing even though you wanted to be mad at him. That was your happy place.

One conversation you remember distinctly from later that month was when you and Mat were sitting on the beach, sifting through the sand and collecting shells. Well, you were the only one actually collecting shells; Mat thought it would be funny to sit there and throw little crustaceans at you and make you shriek. Eventually, a hush had fallen over the two of you, and Mat spoke up. “I’m gonna be in the NHL one day.”

“The what?” Mat laughed at you, but you genuinely didn’t know what he was talking about. You laugh at yourself today, looking back.

“Do you know what hockey is?”

“Duh. My dad watches it.”

“I like to play hockey. I’m going to as a job one day.”

“That sounds cool!” Your young mind couldn’t even comprehend having any adult job, let alone knowing at this age what you want to do for the rest of your life Obviously, Mat was a boy who had plans. “It looks dangerous, though, do you get hurt?”

“I don’t really get hurt much.”

“I bet you’re good at it, then.”

“I am!” You smiled and laughed with Mat and leaned over your pile of shells to hug him, the deepest form of showing affection you knew at that point.

“I’ll come to see you play one day. I promise.”

Remember when life was so simple that a sandcastle was all that was needed to spark the beginning of a wonderful friendship, even if it only lasted a month? Remember when we didn’t have to worry about grades and work and money and taxes? Sometimes you wished you could take yourself back to that month, so you could have a distraction. You’ve been looking for a distraction like Mat had been all your life- while your parents fought from the other room, while you stressed over tests in school, during heartbreak after heartbreak, while you dealt with pressure taking standardized tests or getting your first job, or moving to New York City alone only weeks shy of your 20th birthday during the summer before you started college. Every now and then you would forget about that summer, but the moment you’d stress over something, your mind just drifted off and daydreamed of that lighthearted smile, and those shining green eyes, and you hoped he was happy wherever he was.

Mat.

Damn it, you would have tried years ago to google him or something if you knew his last name, or even where he lived. Unfortunately, those aren’t topics of interest to children, so they never popped up in your conversation, and neither your mom or dad seemed to care enough to remember what they talked about with his parents, probably too busy fighting all the time, you mused.

The fall after you’d moved to New York for college, your roommate Amy, who was extremely welcoming and always made you feel at home, decided to introduce you to the sports teams of the city in an effort to get you out of your apartment and away from your work. It was just your luck, you realized later, that she was especially into hockey. You were vaguely familiar with hockey, your dad used to be a huge hockey fan in your youth, but stopped many years ago in the midst of your parent’s marriage practically falling apart. Now he only watched it occasionally, a few years behind on who was up-and-coming. “Hey, might as well learn the sport. Maybe one day you’ll reconnect with that boy from your long-ago summer romance!” She spoke teasingly, lightheartedly, always loving to hear the sweet story of your childhood best friend who had slipped away and may have disappeared forever. She was always one for cliches. You had told her many things about your time with Mat, but never used his name; no, that felt too personal, as if he was a secret for only you to know about.

“Oh, come on, Ames!” You laughed, but you couldn’t help but hope. “We were, like, ten! I don’t think that qualifies as romance.”

“Maybe not, but the way you describe him… If you would’ve met in your teens, that story would have ended with some cute, awkward first kisses.” She loved a good love story, and you smiled and shook your head. Yeah, honestly, you wish you’d known him later in your life.

“Yeah, maybe.”

So, eventually, she took you to an Islanders game, letting you borrow a blue hoodie of hers from her large collection of NHL merchandise so that you would look like more of a fan. You sat through the game with her, excited and interested and eager to learn as she kept pointing things out to you to help you understand the game. Despite it being an NHL game, you hadn’t thought of the boy that sparked your interest in the sport all night, until, about halfway through the game, you saw a name mentioned overhead.

Mathew Barzal.

You knew it was nothing. Literally nothing. There are plenty of other people named Mathew, idiot. But you couldn’t help the soft spark of memories in you. You pushed it out of your mind and went back to the game, even though something, just something was nagging away in your head. When you looked up to the screen above the ice, you caught a glance of the name again. Mathew, spelled with one ‘T’.  A vivid memory pops to your head- you and Mat tracing your names and other words into the sand with sticks, just for fun, because that’s what entertains a ten-year-old apparently.

“I’m gonna be in the NHL one day.”

Mathew. One ‘T’. NHL. You knew it wasn’t that big of a deal, plenty of people probably spelled it that way, and you were probably grasping at straws, but hey what were the odds? A hockey player, Mathew. If only you could get a good look at the guy. Or… or something. You probably wouldn’t even recognize someone after ten years of not seeing them; you could hardly recognize ten-year-old you in photos! In your head, Mat was still eleven years old. Honestly, was there even a way to figure out if it was him or not? Ask him if he happened to meet a girl on a family vacation a decade ago? Yeah, and when would you get the chance to ask a professional athlete such personal questions?

...Well, tonight, apparently.

As you left your seats after the game, everyone happy and celebratory after a win, you almost had a heart attack when Amy grabbed your arm and shrieked. “Oh my God, oh my God, (Y/N)!” She pointed to her phone in shock, and you still couldn’t tell what she was reacting to, but calmed down, realizing it probably wasn’t life-threatening.

“Holy shit, Ames, are you trying to kill me?”

“Listen, listen.” She calmed down a bit, letting out a small laugh. “So let's just say someone I know, knows somebody,” You laughed a bit, knowing this was gonna be some new interesting gossip. “And they know where the players are going out to celebrate tonight.” She sent you a suggestive, winking look.

“No way. You want to go and… interact with them? Professional athletes? Us, talking to professional athletes?”

“I mean, yeah. Are you telling me you don’t want to flirt with a hockey player?” She saw the look on your face and shook her head. “Or! Or not even flirt. Just talk. Get a picture with them, or a signature? Or just let me talk and you can wave to them. I can promise you they’re all pretty nice to their fans.”

“You sound as if you’ve talked to them all before.”

“No, only one. And it was more of me talking and him saying ‘cool, cool.’ while he signed my jersey. But I always hear that they’re really sweet.”

“Well,” you thought for a moment. It would be pretty freaking cool to try and befriend a professional athlete, or even just pretend for a night that you knew them. You definitely don’t go out enough, you hadn’t really been to many bars- you had only turned 20 a few months ago and couldn’t drink yet, so what was the point? In fact, you’d barely left your tiny apartment since moving, and even though you weren’t one for bars or clubs, you were in New York City, for fuck’s sake! Might as well go out and live, right? “Alright, let’s go. But if we actually see them, you have to be my wing-woman.”

“Oh, hell yes.”

The bar you were going to wasn’t far from the rink, and according to a google search of the place, it didn’t seem too sleazy or gross- that was good. Of course it’s not sleazy, why would someone as rich as a bunch of professional athletes go to a sleazy bar? Because it was only a little further than where you had parked, the two of you walked together. As it settled in your head that you might actually see professional hockey players tonight, you started feeling a little nervous. Partially because you’ve never been in a place with that many famous people at once, but also because of the name that was still circling your brain.

“Hey, so I’ve had something on my mind because of this game.”

“Oh yeah?”

“You’re gonna think I’m completely crazy, but listen.” She looked up with a face, ready for your story.

“Give it to me.”

“Okay, so... this kid I told you about, that I met that summer? His name was Mathew. Spelled with only one ‘T’, I remember that clearly.” You laughed a bit, wondering how crazy you must have sounded to her. “And he told me he was gonna play in the NHL, right?”

After a second, you saw it click in her head. “No fuckin’ way. You think it’s Barzal?”

“Ames, I don’t know, I don’t know! There are plenty of Mathews who play hockey, right? But maybe he doesn’t even play hockey after all. Kids aren’t great at choosing their career paths, ya know? I just never learned his last name. I need his age or... something to identify him with.”

“He’s… like, 21, I think.”

“Yeah?” You paused. Why was this all actually matching up? “Yeah. So ten years ago he would’ve been eleven.”

“Holy shit, hoooolllly shit.”

“But I’m sure there are plenty of Mathews who are 21 right now.”

“Girl, holy shit. Look up a picture of him right now. If you had a summer romance with Barzy, I need to know immediately.”

“Okay, it still wasn’t really a romance, but same.” You pulled out your phone and typed his name into the search bar. “I don’t even know if I’ll recognize him after ten years.” Immediately after you opened the images tab, the first thing you noticed about him was the hair. Dark and thick and kind of wavy and looking extra soft in a few pictures, it did remind you of your Mat- whose hair had been full of sand and salt water and kept drying softly as he ran around in the sunlight- but you still couldn’t be 100% positive. It was after you scrolled past all the on ice pictures where you couldn’t really see his face well behind the helmet and found a picture of him- unstaged and off the ice and genuinely smiling- that you felt a strange spark ignite inside of you. Sunshine. His smile felt like sunshine. Maybe. Just, maybe.

Scrolling through other photos, your eyes caught one in particular. You opened a close up of his face and zoomed in a tiny bit more. Those eyes, shining all pretty and green in the sunlight. You could never forget them- not after ten years, and not after a hundred. His eyes, his chin, even the size of his goddamn nostrils, all the tiny, stupid details in his face… was this actually him? “Biiiitch....” Amy leaned closer to you and bumped shoulders with you in acknowledgment.

“What? Do you recognize something?”

“Kinda, yeah. It’s so weird.”

“So you think it’s seriously him?”

“I don’t know. But the last picture of his smile, I’d recognize that smile anywhere and… this. His eyes- that eye color…. I remember thinking it’s so pretty… even his fucking nostrils, Amy!” The fact that you took note of his nostrils might have been funny at another time, but you were currently having a crisis as to whether or not you were once friends with fucking Mathew Barzal.

“Yeah, I mean, they’re kinda big…”

“I… I don’t want to say that I think it’s him, that might just be me being too hopeful. But...”

“Holy shit. You might have been Barzy’s friend at one point. You could reconnect with him, and we could hang out with the players!” You shot her a look, and she knew to calm down. “Sorry. Alright, whether or not it was him, I’m still gonna get you to talk with him tonight.” You hadn’t realized that you had basically arrived at the bar, and you felt your heart start pumping you full of nerves as she opened the door. “You have my word.”

The bar wasn't too crazy- there was music playing overhead and that weird hazy bar feeling lingered in the air. Immediately you could see that there was a celebratory group of of tall men, some standing at the bar talking with each other, others talking with girls- some shared wedding bands with the women they were talking to, their wives apparently. So you figured those were the players. 

 “I can’t believe it.” Amy was still in shock next to you; you were too, but you needed to pull it together. “You and Barzal…”

“Well, we don’t actually know yet.” You pulled her into you by the elbow. “But please please don’t mention that to them, I don’t need them to think I’m crazy before I even talk to them.” She nodded back, but before either of you could comprehend what was happening, somebody- obviously one of the hockey players- seemed to catch her eye as they came into view near the bar. “A player you like?”

“Anthony Beauvillier.” She pronounced his name with an obvious swoon and you laughed. Oh, so this was that favorite player that she kept talking about. “Tito. Yeah. He’s cool.” She nudged you, smirking. “Oh! And he’s besties with Mat! I bet I could get him for you.”

“You? Talking to them?” As much as Amy liked to talk and wanted to meet the players, you knew she wasn’t the type to just go out and throw herself into conversation with somebody, and you knew she easily got tongue-tied- that’s where the two of you were most similar. But maybe it was just the fact that she was trying to help you out that gave her the boost of confidence to begin chasing after him. “Hey, actually, maybe we shouldn’t bother them. I’m sure they’re tired of dealing with fans.”

“We won’t pester them or anything. I’m sure they’ll see we’re not like, crazy crazy fans. Anyway we have a mission.”

“A mission?”

“Operation… I don’t know, Operation Find Mat Barzal for (Y/N).”

“Wow. Creative.”

“I know.” She laughed and smiled at you reassuringly. “Come on, both of us need to learn to be more assertive, don’t you think? We’re not annoying them, just telling them we think they’re cool, and maybe getting a picture. I’m sure they’ll appreciate it.” There was nothing you could say before she was- to your horror- reaching out and tapping Anthony’s arm. You were sure you looked nervous as he turned to look at the two of you, and your friend started rambling with a big starstruck smile on her face. “Hi, uh yeah. You’re cool.” You weren’t only feeling embarrassed yourself, but also for her. “I’m a big fan!”

To your surprise- or maybe not, he seemed like a sweet guy- he smiled back at her, and you almost melted under kinda his blue eyes as he looked between the two of you. He thanked her as she complimented his performance tonight and motioned to the phone in her hand. “You want a picture?”

“Yes please!” You took her phone for her to snap a couple of pictures of the two of them, glad that this guy seemed so chill and friendly. After the picture was taken, Amy still didn’t let him leave, no, to your absolute horror, she motioned to you. “My friend here, (Y/N), tonight was the first game she’s ever been to.” You could feel your cheeks heat up when he looked over at you, but couldn’t help but smile back up to him. Oh, he was kinda really cute...

“Oh yeah? Hope you enjoyed it.”

Oh. Oh, he was actually talking to you! “Yeah, yeah. I didn’t understand everything that was happening, I’m still learning, but.. it was still really fun!”

“Actually,” you felt Amy’s arm fall across your shoulders, and you looked over at her. God, what was she planning now? “(Y/N) happens to be a big fan of Barzy.”

“Oh God, Ames stop…”

“And I’m sure she’d like a picture with him. So if you could, I don’t know… point her in his direction, please? If he’s here? And if you think he’s got time for it?” You were in the middle of burying your red face in your hands in embarrassment when you heard him laugh goodheartedly.

“He wouldn’t mind. He likes talking to his fans.”

“Really?”

“I’m sure he’ll be especially happy to meet a new fan. He loves the praise.” All three of you laughed a bit, and you couldn’t believe that you were currently chatting with an NHL player. He looked behind his shoulder for a moment, before moving aside and motioning to the bar. “He’s over at the bar somewhere, by himself for the moment. Better hurry before someone else beats you to it.” There was a certain lilt in his voice, was… was he teasing you? You smiled- but it probably looked pretty nervous- and glanced over to Ames.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” She winked at you and nudged you in the direction of the bar. “Go!”  

You bit your lip to hold back the growing smile at the thought of getting to talk to him, whether or not he remembered you at all. You looked up at Tito with a quick “Thank you!” before snaking around him and finding your way to the bar.

It didn’t take you long to notice him- he had a recognizable face, and you’d recognize him anywhere after looking at pictures of him for the whole ten-minute walk from the rink to this bar. He was standing at the bar, drink in his hand, and scrolling through his phone, a lock of dark hair drooping onto his forehead. His skin looked so golden in this light, as if he was back under the sun on a hot summer day- and it gave him a striking resemblance to the boy you knew ten years ago. There was something so different about seeing him in person rather than as a photo on your phone- it sparked up a weird feeling inside of you. If this was really him, it had been ten years since you last saw him, and a lot changes in ten years of somebody’s life. It may have been a strange thought but, wow, puberty really hit him in all the right places. He looked… wow. His cheekbones, his jawline,…. Okay, maybe it was kinda thirsty- ogling him like this- but you couldn’t help it.

Not only had he obviously changed physically, but he might be a completely different person. He was a professional athlete now- why would he need you anymore? That much attention changes a person. He might not be as kind as he was back then at eleven years old, he might not want to be friends with you or reconnect.

That is, if this even is him.

You swallowed down all your nerves and slid up next to where he was standing.

“You really made it to the NHL, huh?”  No shit he made it to the NHL, you thought. What the fuck kind of conversation starter is that?  It was a painstakingly slow moment as he directed his full attention away from his phone and towards you, and could practically feel the shot of confidence and adrenaline draining from your body when his pretty, confused eyes met yours. Oh, they’re a lot more light brown than they are green, you noticed, and you wondered if maybe all your memories of his “dazzling, gleaming green eyes” were wrong. You realized how strange you must look to him- you were just a random girl, approaching a super successful, let alone attractive, professional athlete at a bar. He probably thought you were trying to get a drink off of him or get into his pants for the clout.

Maybe you were expecting him to look up and immediately recognize you after ten years and sweep you up into a hug like in the movies, but it certainly didn’t seem like that’s what was coming.

“Yeah…?"  

He looked confused- his eyebrows furrowed up a bit as he looked you over, sizing you up or checking you out or just trying to figure out why this stranger was approaching him about his career choices. Suddenly, you found it difficult to hold eye contact. Of course he didn’t remember you. Who needs to remember their one-month-long friendship when they’re busy getting into the NHL? This was really starting to make you feel pathetic for holding onto the memory of your super short friendship for so long.

Well, you officially wanted the floor to open up and swallow you. Right now would be great. "Okay… that probably sounded really, really strange if you don't remember me. Or if it’s not even you. Umm, we hung out together in 2000 something…. 2008? The summer of '08?” You laughed awkwardly, trying desperately to lighten the mood. “We were, like ten, eleven?" He still said nothing, just watching you with a strange, unreadable look in his eyes. Oh god, you wanted  lightning to strike you dead, NOW. Literally anything would be better than standing here waiting for him to say something, anything! Even if he just says 'Who the fuck are you?' It would be better than silence. The silence was humiliating. "Okay, I’m so sorry. I probably got this all wrong and look like a weirdo." Right as you started to back away to run to find Amy and get the hell out of here, he held out a hand.

“Wait, wait!" His eyebrows shot up as if he couldn’t believe something, his outstretched hand reaching back to run through his hair. "Holy shit. Is it… (Y/N)?"  Your heart almost stopped right there, the moment he said your name, either that or it was beating so fucking fast you couldn't feel it. He said your name. Your name. He knows your name.

"Yeah.” You watched his face relax into a gleaming smile. Like sunshine. It’s him. You knew it now. “So I’m not crazy? It's… it’s actually you? Mat?"

"It's actually me." For the first time since you set foot in the bar, you felt yourself relax completely, and although you hadn’t had any alcohol, you felt all warm and fuzzy inside. Jesus, it was actually him. You crossed your arms on the bar and lay your forehead down on it. "Sorry, I just, it took me a second. I should have recognized you sooner.” You laughed a little bit into your arms at the sheer craziness of the situation. He still had that same warmth to him, the way he was always able to make you feel happy and safe, like when he distracted you on the beach while your parents were yelling inside or when he went too far trying to scare you with crabs and had to hug you and promise you he’d protect you from them.

“I can’t believe this.” You lifted your head to look back up at him, and he had a wide smile spreading across his face. “We actually ended up in the same city ten years later without even knowing each other’s last names.”

“Holy shit. Ten years? I feel old. Sometimes it feels like just yesterday.” Your heart soared at the idea that he still thinks of you- of the fun you two had together that summer. He took a sip from his drink, going quiet and just staring at his glass with a smile.

“You still think about it?”

“Sure, sometimes. I wonder how you’re doing, and where you ended up. I guess you ended up in New York.” He looked back up at you, eyes catching yours and gleaming all honey-hued golden brown and sending butterflies straight to your stomach. You could barely contain yourself, it didn’t matter that this was Mathew fucking Barzal you were talking to because to you he was still just your Mat, and that was even better. The sandy little boy with scraped knees. You couldn’t help but imagine how many people would kill to be in your position right now.

“I guess I just thought you would have forgotten about that summer, considering how successful you are now and stuff.”

He shook his head, smiling softer and reassuringly. “C’mon. I could never forget about that. It was my favorite summer to date.” He extended an arm and dropped it across your shoulder, pulling you in closer- no closer than two friends should be, but much closer than you ever thought you’d be to someone of his "social rank". It wasn’t any closer than you’d been in the past, but you were children back then. Now, you were young adults with hormones. He was a man. You would be crazy not to notice how warm and built he felt under his hoodie from obvious years of playing hockey, and there were dirty thoughts spinning around your head as soon as his large hand dropped to your arm and the dizzying scent of his cologne hit your nose. “You want a drink?”

You blushed and stuttered, shaking away any indecent thoughts. “Uh, I- I can’t. Yet.”

He seemed confused for a moment before laughing. “That’s right! You're a year younger than me, right? Aww, you’re still a baby. Can’t even drink yet.” He ruffled your hair gently, careful not to actually mess it up, and called the bartender over and asked for a glass of water, making sure to let him know that you weren’t old enough to drink yet. You could only laugh, remembering how much he loved to tease you back then. He obviously hasn’t changed in that department. “Ya know, you could’ve just DM'd me or something as soon as you found me. You didn’t need to dramatically approach me in a bar.”

“Well, I did kinda only find you tonight,”

His eyes went wide with a smile. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, like an hour ago. Listen...” You launched into your story as to how you came to realize that your long lost friend was NHL star Mathew Barzal, and how you didn't actually know who he was as a player. He actually listened intently, unlike any of the disappointing boyfriends you’d had in the past. Man, whatever girl he gets is gonna be lucky. “I wasn’t sure if it was you or not. I spent the entire walk here looking up pictures and trying to decide if I actually recognized you or if it was just my brain being hopeful.”

“Wow. I guess I’ve changed, huh?” He rubbed a hand across his face, still smiling that stupid, beautiful smile that made you all nervous, and your eyes followed, tracing over the familiarity of his features- from his eyes up to his hair and down to his chin, maybe lingering for a second too long on the way his lips looked so soft and tender right now, curled up at the corners into a little smirk.

“Not that much, actually.”

You hadn’t realized how intimate that moment seemed until he caught your gaze, smiling cheekily, and you were pretty sure he knew you were just checking him out. “Lucky for you, you got to skip past my awkward teenage years.” He lightened the mood, poking fun at himself like he knew how to do. Brushing the hazy hot feelings out of the air and blaming them on the rush of meeting your childhood friend after all these years, you reached for your water in order to cool the fire inside of you and the blush on your cheeks.

“Oh, I’m sure I would’ve loved to see that.”

You and Amy were over the fucking moon when you went home that night. You had exchanged Instagram handles and said your goodbyes to each of the men you had been talking with- she claimed to have been talking to Tito for the rest of the night and honestly, you’d believe anything at this point, after learning that your childhood romance- ahem, friendship- was with Mat Barzal. It took everything in you not to shriek like crazed fangirls. As soon as you got out of the bar, the realization finally hit you that you finally found Mat, and meanwhile, Amy was starstruck, having spent the night actually talking to NHL players and actually holding solid conversation.

“Holy shit please tell me everything! Right now!”

“Ames…” You could have told her what it was like to talk to him, disregarding anything in your past, the way he listened intently and made you feel like the only person in the world when his eyes were on you. You took her hands and looked into her eyes seriously, “Ames, we were right.” Okay, so much for not shrieking. Your friend threw her arms around you, jumping up and down for you. You couldn’t blame her, everything that happened tonight was crazy.

“You’re telling me that the kid you hung out with at ten years old has evolved into the one and only Mathew Barzal? Did he remember you?”

To be honest, it had taken everything in you not to try and drag him home with you or go home with him. He was intoxicating in all his warmth, the way his nose scrunched up, and his eyebrows arched when he smiled. The way he threw his head back when he laughed. The scent of his cologne had buzzed around your senses all night, clouding your judgment and making you want to say “fuck reconnecting as friends” and jump him right there. In fact, it still lingered around you after being pulled against his chest all night, and part of you wondered if it was the alcohol in his system, though not enough to make him drunk, that caused him to wrap his arm over your shoulder. If you had maybe harbored a tiny crush since your summer with him, it was heightened times 100 because of tonight.

You could tell that reconnecting with him- and eventually becoming friends again- was going to take a lot of self-control if you were gonna feel like this the whole time.

“Yeah. And he wants to catch up tomorrow. He said he’d DM me.” Amy was in the middle of shrieking in joy for you when, as if on cue, your phone buzzed in your pocket, and the first thing you saw after opening it was a message.

barzal97: Get home safe :)

“Girl, he loves you!” You laughed and shook your head as she shook your shoulder and patted your back, “You snagged yourself a hockey player!”

After you left, Mat didn’t see any reason to stay out longer. He almost couldn’t believe it- had someone slipped something in his drink? Was this just a dream? But then he opened Instagram and scrolled through your Instagram momentarily after DMing you and stopped on a picture of you and your friends, it was clear- he’d found you. You’d found him, more like. After ten goddamn years. It felt like a movie. You still had the same vibe, he could feel it in him the moment you were beside him. What was it…? Familiarity. Warmth. Comfort. Nostalgia. Whatever it was, it was you. After taking a moment to reflect on everything that had just happened, he was quick to finish his drink and find his friend, wanting to head home and prepare for his little meetup tomorrow.  

As he was heading out the door with Tito, Mat knew he needed to confide in somebody. “You’ll never guess what happened.”

“Does it have something to do with that girl I sent over?”

“(Y/N)? You sent her over?”

“Yeah, I was talking with her friend. I noticed she didn’t come back after going to look for you.” Mat noticed the suggestive tone in his friend's voice and felt his face go pink at the thought of hiding away in a bathroom to make out- and maybe more- with you.

“No! Nothing like that. She was my friend when we were kids.” He had a serious look on his face, and Tito knew that Mat wasn’t kidding about this. “Really. We have a crazy story. We met ten years ago on vacation. We hung out for a month, and I haven’t heard from her since. I didn’t know her last name or anything, and she didn’t know mine, so it’s not like we could look for each other. But she found me.”

“Wow. She just said she was a fan.”

“Well, wouldn’t you think they were crazy if they told you that story.”

“It does sound like a movie.” He laughed a bit, patting Mat’s back. “So, what’s the deal with her now? Friend? Do you liiiike her? Do you like-like her?” The teasing tone in his voice didn’t go unnoticed.

“What are we, in middle school?” But he still shrugged, sighing. “I don’t know. We’re going out to catch up tomorrow.”

“Ooh.”

“Shut up.” He went silent for a moment, wondering over his question. Did he like you? He wasn’t sure. “Ya know, she’s with me in almost every photo from that summer. That’s how much we were together.”

“Well, if you guys hit it off, you should date.  I don’t need a competitor for best friend.” It was a joke, Mat knew and smiled at it, but he honestly couldn’t shake the idea of dating you. No, no, he’s only feeling this way because he hasn’t seen you in a while. It’s nothing but a bunch of resurfacing memories.

Hopefully, anyway.

The two of you really did hit it off the next day. And the next. And the next. And the next. You still got along just as well as you did when you were young, and maybe even better, now that you were adults and had more interesting things to talk about. He was funny, even funnier than he was as a child, and despite your original thought that the fame of being in the NHL must have changed him, he was actually kind of modest and shrugged and smiled with a pink flush on his face when you brought up his accomplishments. It was easy to be with him. He could talk and talk about his life and still keep you comfortable, inviting you to tell your own story, gushing over accomplishments that felt so small to you.

And that one catch-up date ended up being months and months more of friendship.

Friendship with Mat was one of the best things that ever happened to you. He was the ideal friend, he listened to you and kept an eye on you and pushed you out of your comfort zone when it was necessary. He loved hearing you talk about things you enjoyed and tried his best to find joy in your hobbies, even if he thought some were funny or boring. He was sweet, endearing, teasing. And it wasn’t long before he began bringing you out on casual outings with some of his personal friends, gushing and getting really into telling the story of how you were separated for ten years and reunited by maybe fate, maybe luck, who knew.

The only problem was that you wanted him to kiss you.

You wanted him to kiss you when you went out with him and Tito and Amy on Christmas, singing carols together and teasing him, asking him to sing louder because you loved the sound. You wanted him to kiss you on New Years, when you stood hand in hand in Times Square, shivering and smiling with red cheeks, but instead settled for a hug. You wanted him to kiss you after returning from his first All Star game in January, you wanted to congratulate him on being an All Star, because he spent so much time praising you and you wanted him to know he was just as amazing. You wanted him to kiss you when he was drunk on his 22nd birthday, all red-faced and giggly and dancing in the nightclub with a red solo cup in his hand and that stupid snapback on that made him look like a frat boy but suited him so well. He was hugging you to his side with one arm and, even like this, you were just praying that he would lay a messy, drunk kiss onto your cheek.

You just wanted his lips on yours. So, so bad.

But despite that, behind Amy, who was still holding onto the title of best friend, he was always the one you went to when you needed comfort or a companion or a distraction, or just to talk about certain things. Things like this.  

A week after his birthday, seven months into your friendship, you showed up at his door without warning, slumping against the doorframe when he opened it. “I have a problem.”

“With showing up unannounced? Yeah, I know.” He was joking and smiling, but maybe you missed it with how stressed you were. When you didn’t respond, he must have noticed the tired, strained look on your face and his happy expression dropped. He let you into his apartment, snaking an arm around your shoulders and pulling you into his chest. It wasn’t an odd thing in your friendship, he was always a touchy guy, especially when you were down, and you always welcomed it. He pulled you over to sit at the island in his kitchen and sat across from you. “What’s wrong?”

“I got a voicemail from my parents today.” You were already pulling out your phone to play the voicemail for him. Ever since that one month on the beach eleven years ago now, you and your family had been going back every summer for a week, up until four years ago, when you suddenly had a summer job and couldn’t afford to take a week off. You missed the beach, sure, but you definitely didn’t miss the way your parents would always find a way to argue and fight. Now, they were calling you and asking if you could come along this year.

“I think I’m missing the problem here. What’s so bad about a beach trip?”

You sighed and lifted your head. “Well, I want to go, and I already got my boss’s okay to take that week off. I really miss the beach. But my family is just… so overwhelming sometimes. I could try to hang out alone the whole time, but I’ll go crazy before the week is over.” There was a pause as Mat leaned back in thought, considering his options. Was this crazy? Was he crazy for doing this? Definitely. But, fuck it, ya know?

“I can come with.”

You scoffed. "No way, I'm sure you have other plans."

"Not really. Not that week." He saw the look on your face, and he really didn’t want you to have to deal with your family all alone for a week. "Look, I'll pay for my share of the trip, and I won't bother anybody." You laughed. There's no way Mat could go a week without bothering anybody. He laughed along, glad to see you happy. "Seriously. If you need somebody, I'll be there."

And that was it. That was how you ended up on a beach trip with the one and only Mathew Barzal, eleven years after you first met..

The first few hours of the trip down were blurry. Your family, in true vacationer nature, decided that all of you, your parents, siblings, you and Mat, should carpool together. So, at 8:00 AM, you loaded into the car, your parents up front, obviously, your younger twin siblings behind them so they could be monitored, and you and Mat in the very back. This was definitely a bad idea, 100%, but you couldn’t help the giddy feeling that sparked up inside of you when you told your family you would be bringing a boy along. Or the feeling you got when you looked at Mat sitting next to you, looking worn out and sleepy after six hours of travel-rest stop-travel-gas stop, with four more hours of travel left and suggested he try to get some sleep. You slept through the rest of the day, only waking up for bathroom breaks and rest stops, until eventually, you woke up around six in the evening with your head on Mat’s shoulder and his body angled towards yours, snoring softly and looking ever so soft.

“Mat, Mat wake up.” You shook him gently, laughing at the way he was drooling a little bit. He blinked his pretty eyes open and looked around, a little dazed.

“Are we there?” His sleepy, mumbling voice was so cute.

“Technically, yeah. But we can’t get into the rental house until tomorrow morning. So we found a place to sleep.” He groaned, his eyes slipping shut in protest, and showed no sign of moving from his seat. “Come on, you’d rather sleep in a real bed than this car, right?”

Those words had him slipping out of the car, his eyes half shut and holding your hand loosely, dragging his feet the whole way as you led the way to your shared room. He looked so cute in this outfit, grumpy and soft in a tee shirt and shorts and his hair looking extra messy. There was nothing you wanted to do more than sleep, but one detail had you stopping in your tracks as you opened the door.  Your parents had paid for three rooms- one for them, your siblings, and you and Mat- and of course, since your parents hated each other and apparently can’t stand to sleep in the same bed anymore, you and Mat got stuck in the room with one bed. Mat didn’t seem to care though, as he dropped his slides by the door and immediately collapsed in the bed, falling asleep almost immediately after mumbling for you.

“C’mon, (Y/N), get in...”

As you dropped down beside him in bed an appropriate distance from him and tried to ignore the sleeping beauty beside you, you began wondering if this whole trip was a bad idea. No, no way, you quickly pushed that thought away. This was Mat, your Mat, and you’re actually on the beach again with him. You fell asleep that night with a smile on your face, listening to the soft snores of the man beside you and trying to imagine what your week had in store for you.

Realistically, there's only one thing you can predict about this trip- it’s gonna take a lot of self-control.

[mikauzoran]

Lila Fake-Dating/Emotional Blackmail Adrienette: Betting Against the House: Chapter Three

Read it on AO3: Betting Against the House: Chapter Three: Cracks

After what seemed an interminable number of hours, the end of school bell finally rang, freeing the pupils from their captive state.

Adrien breathed a soft sigh of relief as he began to pack up his things. After the day he’d had with an even earlier start that normal for the photoshoot and then dealing with Lila’s shenanigans, he was ready to hang out and play video and board games with his friends while snacking on Tom and Sabine’s divine delicacies.

“Oh, Adrien,” Lila sang as she came practically skipping down the stairs to stand in the aisle beside his desk. “Ready for our date, My Prince?”

Adrien stared at her for a moment, blinking dumbly. “Date? …Wait. Now?”

“Mmhm.” She nodded, smiling sweetly. “Let’s go get coffee at that cute little café you mentioned the other day. The Japanese fusion place? I want to try the green tea tiramisu.”

Adrien gawked at her, surprised that she remembered the specifics of a conversation he’d had the week before with one of the other models, Elise.

He shook off his stupor and replied in a tone that he hoped sounded sincere. “Lila, I’m really sorry, but I already have plans to hang out with Marinette, Nino, and Alya tonight. Can we maybe go to the café together tomorrow?”

Lila batted her eyes in a factitious show of confusion before asking in a quavering, almost tearful voice, “Adrien…are you saying that you’d rather spend time with your friends than with me?”

Most eyes in the classroom turned to stare outright (if not, then, surreptitiously), awaiting Adrien’s response.

“No, of course not,” he hurriedly assured lest he be tarred and feathered and burned at the stake.

“You don’t have to worry, Lila,” Marinette unexpectedly spoke up from the row behind.

Adrien turned to face her in surprise, his eyebrow quirking in a silent plea for an explanation.

“It’s clear that Adrien has chosen you over his friends.” Marinette addressed her assertion to Lila but spat the words at Adrien, her eyes flaming with hurt, anger, and accusations of betrayal.

Adrien averted his gaze, shame blazing across his cheeks as he wished he could just tell her the truth.

“You should go have fun with your girlfriend,” Marinette huffed, turning on her heel and pushing past Lila to storm out of the classroom.

Adrien watched her go and physically felt something crack in his chest.

“Oh, how awful!” Lila cooed, slipping her arms around Adrien and pretending to comfort him. “I always knew Marinette hated me, but you would think she’d at least try to be a good friend and act like she’s happy that you’re happy. I guess she really despises me that much,” Lila lamented for the benefit of the rest of the class.

“I think she’s just having a rough week,” Alya spoke up, trying to make excuses. “She doesn’t hate you, Lila.”

“Thanks,” Adrien sighed, pushing Lila away gently. “I’m okay. It’s okay. I get why she’s upset.”

Alya arched an eyebrow suspiciously. “Do you? Do you really?”

Adrien furrowed his brow in confusion at Alya’s implication that he had no idea about what Marinette was feeling. It seemed to him that she was the one truly in the dark because she refused to believe Marinette about Lila.

An ember of resentment towards Alya flickered to life, and Adrien had to conscientiously snuff it out, reminding himself that Alya was Lila’s victim too, and her only crime was being too credulous.

“I…thought I did?” Adrien answered Alya uncertainly.

He paused a beat before expectantly adding, “…Aren’t you going to go after Marinette?”

Alya’s eyes dropped to her books as she finished packing up. “I don’t think I should. She gets a little unreasonable about this kind of thing, and I only seem to make her more angry when I try to help. I think it’s best to leave her alone to calm down. I don’t want to say the wrong thing and end up getting her akumatized.”

Adrien’s shoulders slumped, and he nodded in agreement. “You’re right. That’s probably best. No one would want that.”

With another sigh, he turned to Lila in resignation. “Ready to go, Ma Fleur? Here. Let me carry your bag for you.”

“Aww. Thank you,” Lila giggled, happily handing over her satchel. “You really are too good to me.”

“Nonsense,” he scoffed, lying smoothly: “Nothing is too good for you.”

 They made their way to the locker room, Lila hanging off of Adrien’s arm until he dropped her off at her locker to finish packing up for the night.

Nino intercepted Adrien halfway to his own locker, calling to Lila, “Hey, do you mind if I borrow your boyfriend for, like, ten minutes? I need his help on a Physics project real quick; otherwise, I’m going to fail.”

“Not at all,” Lila assured, pretending to play nice with a large, forced smile. “Just bring him back quickly or I’ll miss him.”

“Be right back,” Adrien promised, giving his fingers a quick kiss and tossing it her way.

“This way,” Nino directed as they exited the locker room. He led Adrien down a level, as if they were headed for the cafeteria, but he turned down the opposite hall and, instead, guided Adrien to the gym equipment storage closet, opening the door for him with a bow. “After you.”

Adrien arched an eyebrow. “This feels like the prank where you slam the door behind me and lock me in, and I have to climb out through the little window to gain my freedom.”

Nino rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Dude. Seriously. This is just for privacy—I promise.”

With a shrug, Adrien stepped into the grey half-light of the storage room and watched as Nino checked to make sure no one had seen them go into the closet.

Satisfied that they hadn’t been followed, Nino closed the door behind them and turned on the light.

Adrien smirked, inching his eyebrow a few centimeters higher. “Do you and Alya sneak off here to make out, or how do you know about this place?”

Adrien had been there to transform a handful of times because the closet was in a relatively unpopulated part of the school, but he had to wonder what use his best friend had of the space.

Nino’s cheeks sprouted a florid blush that told Adrien he had guessed right, but he didn’t get to enjoy his victory long because the next words out of Nino’s mouth were, “Don’t be getting any ideas about bringing Lila here to play tonsil hockey.”

Without thinking, Adrien pulled a face, scrunching his nose in displeasure. “Don’t worry. That’s not going to happen.”

Nino’s eyes narrowed, and he jabbed an accusatory finger at his friend. “There. See? You don’t really like Lila, do you?”

Shamefacedly, Adrien looked away, rubbing at the back of his neck and shrugging. “I mean…she’s fine. I like her well enough.”

“Mec, you don’t,” Nino whined, coming over and placing his hands on Adrien’s shoulders, making it hard for Adrien not to meet his eyes. “Come on. Talk to me. What the heck is going on with you and Lila?”

“Nothing,” Adrien insisted, trying to pull away. “We’re just dating. There’s nothing to talk about.”

Nino caught Adrien’s face in his hands and stared his best friend down, earnestly searching for some kind of explanation. “…Adrien…come on.”

Adrien shut his eyes and stepped back.

Nino let him go.

“Sorry,” Adrien mumbled, crossing his arms and looking down at the tumbling mats stacked in the corner. “Can we just not? I have to go. I don’t want to keep Lila waiting.”

Nino caught him by the arm as he started to make for the door.

“Is this your father’s idea?”

Adrien stopped and blinked in surprise at Nino’s conjecture.

“That’s it, isn’t it?” Nino chuckled, perking up as he leaned into the hypothesis. “This is a publicity stunt, and you can’t tell me about it because that jerk made you sign a nondisclosure agreement.”

Adrien’s expression wilted as he shook his head. “Nino… No. This isn’t my father’s doing. This was my decision.”

“Okay, then explain it to me,” Nino demanded, moving in between Adrien and the door. “Why in the world would you decide to date a girl you don’t like? Are you just trying to save her feelings so that she doesn’t get akumatized because, seriously, Mec, you’re gonna have to tell her you’re not into her at some point, and it’s better to rip the bandage off sooner rather than later.”

“That’s not it,” Adrien grumbled, beginning to tire of the conversation and wishing Nino would just drop it already.

“Then what is it?” Nino groaned, similarly frustrated at their stalemate.

Adrien considered coming clean for a fraction of a second.

If he could tell anyone, it would be Nino, but…

He shook his head sadly, gazing at the dust bunnies on the long-neglected floor. “…You wouldn’t believe me,” he whispered.

“I’d like to decide whether or not I believe you myself,” Nino snorted crossly. “Why on earth would I not believe you, Adrien? You’re not about to tell me you’re Ladybug, are you?”

Adrien winced at Nino’s half-hearted attempt at a joke.

“You wouldn’t believe me,” he repeated softly, the words cutting into his heart like too-tight clothes cutting off circulation.

“Adrien… Just tell me,” Nino cooed, stepping forward once more to rest his hands on Adrien’s upper arms. “Please.”

Adrien looked up, internally debating as he silently studied Nino.

Mentally crossing his fingers, he took a deep breath and rapidly spit out: “Lila’s emotionally blackmailing me into dating her. She knows how I feel about Marinette, so she’s threatening to spread rumors and ruin Marinette’s life if I don’t play along. Marinette’s been right all this time: everything Lila’s ever told you is a lie.”

Nino just stared, blinking uncomprehendingly. “…Lila…what?”

Adrien jerked away, retreating as hurt and vindication blurred his vision with tears.

“See?” he accused. “I told you you wouldn’t believe me. You’re just like Alya. No one believed Marinette either because everyone wants to believe Lila’s pretty lies, but—”

“—Whoa. Slow down, Mec,” Nino urged, making a grab for Adrien.

Adrien dodged, and Nino redoubled his efforts, managing to snag hold of Adrien’s wrist and tripping them both in the process, sending them down onto the tumbling mats in a heap.

“It’s not that I don’t believe you,” Nino grunted as he pushed himself up to sitting. “It’s that I’m having a hard time believing what you’re telling me. There’s a difference,” he stressed.

“Is there?” Adrien sniffed, feelings still sorely bruised.

“Yeah,” Nino insisted. “I don’t think you’re lying…. I just… My brain is having a little trouble understanding how what you’re saying can be true, so just feed it to me in smaller pieces instead of trying to shove the whole cheesecake down my throat, okay? Start over. Slowly. You said Lila was blackmailing you?”

Adrien nodded, not bothering to get up. The day had left him too physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted.

Nino wanted to point out that that didn’t sound like Lila at all, but he wisely kept his mouth shut, fearing it would sound like he was doubting Adrien and taking Lila’s side. Instead, he asked, “When did this start?”

“…Three years ago, I guess?” Adrien sighed.

“Holy…” Nino choked on a guttural curse. “Mec, what the hell? Like…what the hell?”

“Remember when Marinette almost got expelled?” Adrien prompted without energy.

Nino pursed his lips, sifting through his memories. “…Oh…yeah. Yeah, I do kind of remember something like that happening, I think.”

“Lila orchestrated the whole thing,” Adrien informed him, and it felt oddly freeing to finally tell someone the truth. “She framed Marinette and tried to turn everyone against her.”

“Okay, but why?” Nino pressed, still skeptical.

Adrien shrugged. “I don’t really get it, personally. I think it’s because Marinette never believed Lila’s lies and tried to out her to the whole class. Lila doesn’t like it when you challenge her or try to rebel. She can get nasty if you step out of line. Another part of it could be that Lila’s jealous. I mean, everyone loves Marinette. She’s just so good and kind and helpful and smart and pretty and wonderful,” Adrien rhapsodized, a weary yet genuine smile lighting up his lips for the first time that day.

Nino couldn’t hold in a fond chuckle at his friend’s lovesick mooning. “Someone’s smitten.”

“Fatally so,” Adrien hummed.

“…So…Lila has a vendetta against Marinette,” Nino summarized, getting the conversation back on track. “I mean, I could believe that, I guess. Marinette certainly holds a grudge against Lila. But where do you fit in? How does Lila’s plot to get Marinette expelled end in Lila blackmailing you?”

“I promised to play nice and be friends with Lila in return for Lila shutting down her machinations and getting Marinette un-expelled,” Adrien groaned, shaking his head. “Things just keep getting worse as the years go by, though, and the price to get Lila to keep the peace keeps getting higher.”

Nino frowned, shifting uneasily. “What do you mean? She’s been holding Marinette over you this whole time?”

Adrien nodded. “Whenever I don’t do what she wants, she starts making threats. Like, today she said she would start spreading rumors that Marinette was dating older men for money so that people would think badly of her and stop talking to her.”

“The hell?” Nino repeated, his face crumpling into deep furrows of disgusted disbelief.

“She’s talking about ruining Marinette’s career too,” Adrien continued softly, drowning in his feelings of helplessness. “My father seems to listen to her for some reason, and she’s mentioned turning him against Marinette so he’ll make it so that Marinette can’t get a job anywhere. So, I’m stuck doing what Lila wants,” he concluded morosely. “Otherwise, she’ll hurt Marinette, and I can’t let that happen. I have to protect her.”

Nino bit his lip, feeling stuck. “Have you ever considered that maybe Marinette can protect herself and wouldn’t appreciate you caving to whatever Lila wants?”

“Well…yeah,” Adrien admitted sheepishly. “I mean, I know Marinette is perfectly capable. I wouldn’t be half as in love with her if she were some damsel in distress. I know how awesome and competent she is, but…”

He looked up at Nino with pleading eyes. “She doesn’t feel like she has anyone on her side in this. She’s kind of given up the fight in some respects. All her friends think that Lila is wonderful, and not even Alya believes her when she tries to tell Alya what Lila is really like. Yeah, Marinette could probably handle things on her own,” Adrien admitted, “but she shouldn’t have to. She should have people she can rely upon…and I want to be that person for her.”

Nino nodded, able to appreciate the sentiment because that was similar to how he felt about Alya. He knew she was a tough young woman who could handle whatever life threw at her, but he wanted to be by her side supporting her when she needed it all the same.

“I hear you,” Nino confirmed. “But that doesn’t mean Marinette is going to be happy when she finds out. In fact, I guarantee she won’t appreciate it.”

“Yeah,” Adrien agreed softly, knowing Nino was right. “Honestly, I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to keep this up. I know I have to and that there’s no giving up now, but…”

He shook his head and heaved a heavy sigh. “Things just keep escalating. At first, I just had to tolerate her and do photoshoots that made her look good. I also couldn’t say anything bad about her to anyone. Then she wanted to be my date at parties, for me not to deny it when people asked if we were dating. Then she started hanging off of me and telling me not to complain, and now… It’s just gotten to be too much, Nino,” Adrien finally confessed.

“She acts like she has a right to touch me whenever she wants. It’s not, like, bad touching,” Adrien hastily clarified when he saw the horrified expression Nino was making. “It’s more like…like I’m her property, so she can put her hands on my chest if she feels like it. She thinks she can just come over and hang off of my arm whenever she wants. Stuff like that. It makes me uncomfortable, but it’s not necessarily inappropriate.”

“If it makes you uncomfortable, it’s inappropriate,” Nino retorted firmly, his temper starting to boil. “Adrien, this has to stop. We need to talk to Miss Bustier and get Damocles involved. This is serious.”

Adrien sat up in a panic, waving his hands to halt Nino’s thought process before he could really get going. “No, no, no, no, no!” he insisted, wide-eyed in fear at the consequences of publicly outing Lila. “We can’t. Nino, you can’t say anything to anyone. This was supposed to be just between bros.”

“Adrien, this is kind of a huge freaking deal,” Nino informed gravely. “You don’t just sit on this kind of thing and let it happen. I mean, look how things have worsened over the past three years, and now that she’s got you dating her, what do you think comes next? I’ve had to sit back and watch for years as you’ve jumped whenever your father said so. I’m not going to sit on my hands and do nothing while Lila treats you like her plaything. This stops now,” Nino growled with a ferocity that almost made Adrien worry about Lila’s safety.

“Nino, no,” Adrien pleaded, resting his hand on Nino’s bicep and squeezing in entreaty. “I swear I’m fine. I was just exaggerating when I was complaining earlier. It’s really not that bad.”

Nino gave him a look that plainly called Adrien’s bluff.

Adrien’s shoulders slumped. “Look. You can’t say anything. Publicly exposing Lila isn’t going to help things. It’s not going to make her be better, and it’s not going to improve my situation. It’s just going to make her mad and out for blood,” he explained.

Nino’s brow furrowed as he listened to what Adrien had to say. He weighed the options but struggled to come to a definite conclusion.

“Most importantly,” Adrien continued, “Lila will only lash out at Marinette, and then everything I’ve done these past three years will have been for nothing. I’m afraid of what Lila could do, Nino. She’s already proved that she could get Marinette expelled with impunity. I don’t want to find out what else she could get away with.”

“…But, Mec…” Nino argued gently, feeling conflicted and unsure. “The only way this ends for good is by you coming forward and letting everyone know what’s really been going on.”

Adrien shook his head glumly. “Nino, no one will believe me.”

“I believe you,” Nino protested.

Adrien kept shaking his head. “No one else will. It’s my word against hers. It’s not like I have any proof, and people don’t like it when you smash their comfy little view of reality. No one’s going to want to believe me.”

Nino deflated as he slowly became convinced. “But we can’t just do nothing and let her win.”

“It’ll be fine,” Adrien insisted, praying that it was true. “For now, I’m fine, so please, please, please don’t say anything to anyone. I’m literally begging you.”

Nino pursed his lips, still wavering. “This doesn’t sit right with me. There’s got to be something we can do.”

“Nino, promise you won’t try to interfere,” Adrien pressed, taking Nino by the shoulders. “Do this for me, and I’ll never ask you for anything else ever.”

Nino blew out a lengthy exhale suffused with weariness. “Oh, all right. I won’t cause you any problems.”

Adrien threw his arms around Nino, nearly tackling him in his relief. “Thank you. I seriously can’t thank you enough.”

“All right. All right,” Nino sighed, giving Adrien an affectionate squeeze. “I’m not so convinced that I’m actually doing you a favour.”

Nino pulled back to look Adrien full in the face. “Keep me up to date on the situation, okay? You’re not alone in this anymore, so please talk to me.”

Adrien nodded, softly assuring, “I will. I promise…. Seriously. Thank you, Nino.”

Nino gave Adrien’s hair a tussle. “I love you, okay?”

“Love you too,” Adrien chuckled, raising his fist and offering it to Nino for a fist bump.

Nino reciprocated and threw in a clap on Adrien’s arm for good measure.

“If this concludes our heart-to-heart, I really need to get going,” Adrien sighed, mood darkening once more. “I don’t want to keep my ‘Venus flytrap’ waiting.”

Nino winced, getting to his feet and offering Adrien a hand up. “Do you think she’ll suspect anything? Do we need to be getting our stories straight?”

“Maybe,” Adrien grumbled, beginning to brainstorm. “I don’t think she thinks I’d ever actually tell anyone, but…she hasn’t gotten this far by being credulous. I should be able to shake her off my tail if you keep treating her like normal.”

Nino grimaced at the thought of being friendly with Lila knowing everything that he did now. “That’s not going to be easy,” he confessed. “I’ll find some way to do it, though. Whatever it takes to protect you.”

“Thanks.” Adrien shot his best friend a grateful look, and Nino responded with a wink, bumping shoulders with Adrien as they made their way back to the locker room where Lila was waiting.

[wetwellie]

Your Name AU

(because i’ve seen this movie a bajillion times and it makes me feel things and i am FEELING THINGS about zimbits rn) (It probably won’t work, but i’m gonna make it work)

 Bitty is a guy who is trying to peacefully spend his last summer before heading off to college in peace. 

He spends his days working his part time job at his Aunt’s produce stand. 

and Baking

and playing club hockey twice a week

Fairly peaceful

and...boring as hell

Until the dreams start

Jack has just started his third year at Samwell university

he’s still broken

still anxious

still the “golden boy” --even if he doesn’t feel like hes polished and shining

but he’s making do

and making friends

just a year or two left until

until what?

graduation? getting signed? 

wasting away? 

Jack doesn’t know. But he’s resigned to focus on hockey and let the rest of the world pass him by

Until the dreams start

Jack wakes up and it’s too hot

He shifts to get out of bed and finds that the covers he is tearing away from his body

are not his

or Shitty’s

or any of his roommates’

also. uh

those skinny legs and short shorts are not his

his hands look different too

and his face feels different

and the voice that calls to him from downstairs is not one he knows

huh

well

weird dream

hope it’s over soon

Bitty goes downstairs to eat the next day

His parents are both fairly silent

“I see you got over whatever mood you were in yesterday, young man”

“mood?”

“it doesn’t matter.”

That’s all he gets out of them

When he drives to the produce stand his cousins run up to him smiling

“I see that you actually remembered how to drive that thing”

“What?” says Bitty

“yesterday you were all over the place. almost knocked over the stand. if you were anyone else I’d think you were drunk”

“Aunt Judy figures you might have been possessed” the other cousin says

“With a fit of stupidity”

“I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about” Bitty says

“It doesn’t matter. Just don’t ‘get lost’ or forget ‘how to drive stick’ again, Dicky” she says using finger quotes

Later in the day, Suzanne asks Bitty if he’s really feeling ok. 

She was really worried about yesterday’s behavior

Bitty replies that , despite evidence on the contrary, he feels normal

They finish up some jars of jam and Bitty returns to his room for the night

There is where he finds it

Tucked under his pillow there is a note in scratchy handwriting

“Who are you?”

Bitty wakes up cold, in a bed that is too big for him

an alarm he doesn’t remember setting, or ever having, is blaring next to him

he looks to see the time

4:30 am

oh. 

hell no

bitty gets up to unplug the dream alarm clock, and returns to sleep

Bitty wakes up 6 hours later with another man coming into bed with him

This man is naked

and moustached

one of those dreams? huh

never would he dream about this kind of guy though

because this guy doesn’t crawl into bed, like he thought

he wraps bitty in a burrito made out of comforters and yanks him onto the floor

“I know you needed to a break, but let the coaches know before you sleep through morning practice like that”

“practice?”

“yeah. and you’re lucky that I’m waking you up in time to go to your 11am.” 

“but it’s summer”

naked moustache man just looks at him and rolls his eyes

“we’ll grab lunch after class”

“Wait!”

“What”

“...where is my class?”

Jack wakes up the next day 

and is dragged to the doctor to test for a possible concussion

“the things you were saying and doing yesterday were crazy”

“you skipped morning practice”

“After class you threw down your notes and said you’d never major in History”

“You baked seven as an apology for skipping morning practice”

“And then you dropped into fetal position in afternoon practice when Ollie was about to check you”

“And you took, i don’t know, 7000 selfies of yourself and called yourself handsome”

“have you ever taken a selfie before in your life?”

jack just shakes his head

“yeah. like i said you’re getting checked for a concussion”

Did I hit my head? , Jack asks

“no. but it can’t be” Shitty pauses “It wouldn’t be your other thing would it?”

I don’t think so he says. 

Jack has never really had memory problems. and his anxiety and panic never particularly affected him in the way described

faintly, he recalls a young boy at one of his games right before the draft, voice broken as he says “Jack, don’t you remember me?”

it leaves his mind as quickly as it entered

because he had bigger problems to figure out

namely how he had new entries on the journal on his phone

it was a summary of all of the things that “Jack” did the previous day

“Thanks for a long day of being a Big Shot on campus, handsome!”

signed Eric

Eric?? 

Who the hell is Eric? 

it happens again 

Jack spends a day as bitty

and Bitty spends a day as Jack

and they wake up not remembering too much about what happens

the only thing that cements that it’s not just a weird dream is that

well...real life consequences

Jack becomes a lot more...spinny and less up for contact when he plays hockey

and ends up enjoying time with his teammates a lot more

and has a huge country dialect now

and one time someone came up to him speaking french and jack had no idea what was going on???

and he smiles sometimes??? 

and at the end of the day he’s almost always on his phone typing away

Bitty is able to kick ass into gear with hockey

but can’t bake worth shit

honestly, suzanne hasn’t seen anything of that quality since bitty was seven

AND he had to check a recipe

also, he’s started to bike to work

driving stick is impossible

he’s very serious on some days

he spends his evenings watching history documentaries and writing in a journal

Well. It seems like this is just gonna be life for a while, they both figure

best set up some rules

Bitty, as Jack, is NOT ALLOWED TO DITCH CLASSES

no use of the word y’all

no beyonce

no short shorts

don’t drop like a brick when someone comes to check you

seriously Eric it’s fine 

Eric it’s my body that would get hurt don’t worry

also please don’t drink or use drugs in my body

it’s a long story but again

it’s my body

Jack-as-Bitty is asked to be polite to his friends and customers

and please never bake anything ever

don’t leave the house dressed like some weird clothing outlet exploded

if you yell at my teammates i swear to god, mr. zimmermann. 

don’t disrespect senor bun

or anyone

stop frowning so much, even Coach has asked me about it and i don’t know what to say

don’t watch stuff on my netflix account. your history documentaries are messing up my recommendations

Despite the rules

They find ways to keep bothering each other

But also trying to make each other better

As captains of each others teams, both teams are able to benefit from their guidance

Bitty’s team gets a lot stronger technically

but kind of hate how much of a hardass Bitty is 3 times a week

The SMH is more in synch with each other than ever

and Bitty is able to help out a lot more

But Jack ends up having to put a lot of money in the sin bin for 

‘acting off’

Jack is very upset to find a picture of himself in the swallow, sitting on the roof of the Haus shirtless and wearing short shorts chilling

like

what the fuck Eric 

But they get a little routine down, and nothing changes except for minor nuisances

so whatever 

It all works good until one day, while Jack and Suzanne are bonding over making jam, Suzanne looks Jack right in the eyes and says 

“oh...you’re not my dicky. you’re dreaming aren’t you?”

Jack snaps awake in his bed

not Eric’s bed. His bed

Huh. weird. 

He goes to check his phone and of course, there is a long journal entry left over from the day he didn’t get

It’s all mostly ok until he gets to the end

“It looks like your first big hockey game is tomorrow night! Be sure to have fun. Enjoy it!”

“There’s a comet tonight for me. I’ll take lots of pictures so that you can see it next time we ...do whatever we do”

 Jack and the SMH win the game. and he actually tries to have fun. but the only person he wants to celebrate with is

well

he’s in georgia

bUT

Jack has a phone

He dials bitty’s cellphone number that has been saved in his contact

his heart is beating quite fast. 

and then he hears 

“We’re sorry. The number you have dialed is no longer in service”

 Jack stops switching after that

He should be relieved. overjoyed

but he’s not

he doesn’t miss the humidity

or the dirt roads

or the bugs

but he does miss something

and he’s forgetting all about it

so he tries searching online for the town

the town he can’t remember the name of

he doesn’t want to forget, so he starts drawing sketches of what he remembers

they’re not bad

pretty darn good, even

Not as good as Lardo’s, but she’s still abroad

He tries to call Eric’s number a couple more times. He gets the same results

 Jack can’t take it anymore

During the winter break, Jack flies down to Georgia for a weekend, rents a car, and drives himself in the general area he remembers the town

he stops locals and shows them sketches

“is there any town nearby that looks like this?”

they all respond in the negative

he does this for hours

the sun is starting to set when he resigns to give up

he pulls into a diner in the town he’s in, orders, and looks at his sketches again

maybe it’s possible that the town isn’t...even real?

it really could have just been his dreams

that is what he thinks when the server returns with some water

“Hey. that’s a pretty good picture of Godfrey”

 “Godfrey?”

“Yeah. I grew up there.” he says looking a bit sad

“Can you tell me how to get there?” 

The server pauses and gives Jack a mourned, but puzzled look “ it was about a 15 minute drive from here but-” 

“it was?”

“you didn’t hear about what happened?”

Jack shakes his head. 

“If you don’t mind,I’ll take you to it after you finish your dinner”

It’s all gone. 

Oh God. 

Everything from the small ice cream shop to the old creek where Bitty’s cousins would hang around

It’s all rubble

and mounds of dirt

Literal miles

Jack can’t breathe

he can’t

breathe

just breathe

just

breat--

[beepbeeprichiellc]

Could we maybe get a sequel to the hockey player au? Like maybe they meet at an after party?

Sure can! Part one

Hard as Ice

Richie was astonished with the lack of subtly in Stan’s pursuit of his crush. First he comes to the game-practically drooling on the sidelines-and now he insisted that they hang around the locker room so that he could ‘accidentally’ bump into Mike. Richie sure hoped this meat head was worth the amount of shit Stan was going to get from him and Beverly for all of this. Every time the locker room opened Stan nearly pissed his pants with excitement. If Richie wasn’t having such a horrible time, he would have enjoyed the sight but the green monster on his back gnawed at his skin mercilessly. 

“Holy shit Stan, this guy better put out after all this trouble.” Beverly jested, nudging Richie in an eager attempt for him to chime in. When the trashmouth snorted she rolled her eyes and added, “I hope he looks better without all the padding than with.” 

“He does.” Stan replied with a grin, making Beverly laugh and Richie scoff. Eventually, Stan got what he wanted as Mike and another player exited a few seconds later, their hands full of bagged gear and hair wet from what could only be assumed to be from a much needed shower. Mike smiled brightly, waving at them before saying something unheard to his team mate and strolling over. Stan bounced with excitement, his eyes wide with intense attraction. “Oh hey, we were just heading out. Fancy meeting bumping into you.” 

“Yeah, no it’s not.” Beverly said under her breath, earning a sharp elbow to the breast. 

Mike laughed, “Oh guys this is my friend Eddie.” He politely introduced, nodding to the short brunette beside him. “You know Stan already, this is his friends Beverly and Richie.” 

“Nice to meet you.” Eddie said with a kind smile, extending his hand out to which Beverly accepted instantly. When their hands dropped he moved to Richie, and the trashmouth was tempted to accept it-with the boy’s doe eyes and freckled face making his heart skip-but his bad attitude got the best of him and instead he turned his head and scoffed-actually scoffed which surprised even himself. 

Eddie withdrew his hand as if he had been burned, his lips turning downward into a scowl. Stan came to Richie’s aid, insisting that he just had a bad day but Eddie looked unconvinced as he replied with “Right, well as fun as that was…” He looked at Mike with annoyance. “You ready to go?” 

“Oh yeah right, hey the team is going to a bar for a little celebration, you guys should come!” Mike offered enthasically, his kindness like a blinding light that only pissed Richie off even more. “Sadie’s Bar down on Third Street. It’s not the nicest but it has cheap beer and good music.” 

“I love both of those things.” Stan blurted. 

“You hate both of those things.” Richie corrected. 

“We will be there.” Beverly assured, shooting daggers in Richie’s direction. “Thanks for the invitation.” 

Mike nodded, saying that he would see them there. As he walked away, Eddie lingered as if he was going to say something. His eyes were on Richie, his face still and breath even. Richie felt as if he should apologize, it wasn’t Eddie’s fault that he was so bitter-it was an unrelated meat heads but the words refused to take the plunge. Eddie’s face scrunched up as he left, and Richie felt even worse that he did before but there was a bit of himself that still burned.  

And it kept burning all the way to the bar. 

—-

“Let me buy you guys the first round.” 

It was really hard to dislike Mike, Richie had decided. He was perfect for their little Stan. Gentle, soft spoken and very, very kind. The total opposite to Stan in every way-which is why Beverly had decided they were soulmates. For whatever reason, this made Richie’s mood worsen. It had been over six months since his last relationship, if that could even be called a relationship. All they had done was fucked, she was good in bed but that was all. If Richie lingered long enough, he would feel loneliness nip at his heels but he refused to do so. Instead he focused on spending his time griping and bothering those closest to him. 

“He’s great, isn’t he great?” Stan gushed, watching Mike walk to the bar. 

“Yes, he is great.” Beverly replied, smirking to her friend. “The best one yet.” 

“He’s alright.” Richie chirped, bitter and flat. “Kind of seems fake to me.” 

“Shut your hole trashmouth.” Stan growled, rolling his eyes. “Mike is amazing and you’re just pissy because you are still hung up on that shit head that treated you so badly.” 

“Stan!” Beverly hissed. 

Richie felt like he had been slapped in the face, the sting off his past relationship now becoming painfully apparent. It wasn’t like Stan was wrong, per say, but it had been a nonverbal agreement that the past would not be spoken of until Richie was over it all and yet here they were mentioning the only man he had ever loved. Like a scar that just wouldn’t fade, his lover had damned him to all hell. When Richie went to reply to his friends harsh remark, there was no time as Mike sat down four beers as well as four shots. 

“Thought we could start the night off right, bourbon is good for the soul I hear.” Mike said with a friendly smirk. “Beer is the chaser of course.” 

There was only a second between Mikes words and Richie’s eagerness to down the shot without warning. It burned-just as it always did-and it felt better than the ache in his chest. If Mike had judgment on his tongue he didn’t show. “Hey Mike!” A voice rang out from across the bar, making the player look up and grin. 

“Excuse me but it looks like my boy Ben just made it. You wouldn’t mind if I just-”

“Go head.” Stan replied, grazing the top of Mike’s hand with such fondness that Richie wanted to upchuck the liquor. “I know you’ve been waiting for him.” As Mike left Stan filled them in. “Ben’s his and Eddie’s old friend, he’s been in France for six months designing their new amphitheater. He’s only in for the night before heading to London for another contract.” 

“Busy man.” Beverly whistled, craning her head to get a glimpse of the interaction. 

“Should be, you don’t get named in People’s Magazine’s 30 under 30 without being busy.” 

“No shit?” She sounded impressive, and Richie himself would even have to admit that it was impressive. “Think Mike will introduce us?” 

“Ofcourse.” Stan said knowingly. 

Richie couldn’t help but put his grumpy two cents in, “Surprised those meatheads are friends with someone so smart.” 

He could feel Stan vibrate beside him, “I’ll have you know that Mike has a masters in Ancient Civilization and is currently working on his dissertation for his masters.” Richie opened his mouth to retort but was cut short with, “And Eddie has his Medical Degree form Duke, just because your ex was an idiot doesn’t mean anyone with skates is.” 

Baffled, Richie sipped his beer instead of replying. Maybe running his mouth wasn’t the appropriate thing to do tonight, even if it was the only thing to hide his burning aggression. They sat there for a bit, in comfortable silence as Beverly asked about the mystery man that just arrived and Stan joked about her finally getting laid. It wasn’t long till they caught the attention of another guest, although this one wasn’t a friendly one. 

They stood at the end of the table, bumping it slightly so that the three would give them their undivided attention. Hockey players-that they definitely were-but they were none of the ones that had been on the ice with Mike earlier. These two-they were meatheads if Richie had ever seen them. Rotten to the core with scowls for days. “Look, we don’t want to be ‘those people’ but I am obligated to let you know that your kind isn’t welcome at this bar.” 

Beverly raised a defining eyebrow, “Excuse me?” 

The bigger boy snickered, “I’m sorry but we are talking to the fairy here, not you okay? So go be a good little girl and get us some beers eh?” 

Richie felt himself stand before his mind could register, being a spitfire he had always been ready to fight but there wasn’t a need because there was someone there to defend his friends. “Is there a problem here?” 

It was the goon. 

Eddie. 

“Nothing that you have to worry about it.” One of the two replied calmly, holding up their hands in defense. “Go back to your friends, we don't’ want trouble.” 

“These are my friends.” Eddie shot back immediately. “Whatever problem you have with them-you have with me.” He was squared up, a good defensive stance that Richie recognized. The trashmouth expected him to glance at them, to decide if they were worth the effort but he didn’t-apparently having already decided. 

“Alright then, we didn’t know they were with you Eddie.” The same player replied, taking a step back. They were scared of the man who was nearly half their size. It amazed Ricihe, astonished him that such a spitfire could earn a reaction like this. “We apologize, isn’t that right Patrick?” 

The bigger one narrowed his eyes, as if he was about ready to disagree and the tension it left was sour and unwelcoming. But this passed, and the man also took a sizable step back. Still so, Eddie kept his shoulders firm. The smaller one turned to leave but as soon as he took a step away the Pactrick guy muttered something under his breath that only the four of them could hear. “Fucking faggots.” 

Eddie chuckled-actually fucking chuckled which made Richie reere back in suprise. Shaking his head he grabbed Mike’s shot, doing it before reaching for Beverly’s and doing the exact same. “That word, you know I hate that word right? Such a dirty word.” Eddie straightened up, pulling at his shirt and wiping his lips. “Right then…” 

The punch was unexpected, quick and so fucking hard that Richie himself could hear the cracking of bone. It was painfully clear that Eddie had done this before, the way it was one hit and done, sending Pactrick sprawled out on the floor-out cold. Bouncing back he was ready for the other friend, who bounced onto him right after. This started a bar fight, members of Eddie’s team coming to his aid. 

Richie, Beverly and Stan all stood up from their seats and staggered back as the table they were at became a landing spot for some guy and the one who was pounding on him. “Fuck!” Beverly cursed, pulling Stan just in time to save him from a flying beer bottle. 

“Hey, come on. This way!” A voice called from behind them, and without really thinking about it Richie followed-dragging his friends along with him. They were sent through the back and spilled out into the alley where the air was crisp and the night was young. “Bill is going to kill Eddie for this one.” It came out as a raspy laugh, and it was then Richie got a good look at their savior-Ben. 

“Whose Bill?” Stan asked, looking back at the door with a slight pinch of worry. 

Ben smiled. “The owner, one of our childhood friends. That’s why they come here-to support him. Not that he likes owning a bar, he’d much rather be writing somewhere.” When he noticed the three of them staring at him with disbelief, Ben backtracked quite a bit. “Ben Hanscom by the way. Sorry, I forgot to introduce myself and that’s bad manners.” 

“Beverly Marsh.” She introduced herself, a smile growing around her lips. “This is Richie Tozier and Stan Uris.” 

“It’s nice to finally meet you Stan, Mike talks about you all the time.” Ben said, nodding in the direction of the man who refused to pay attention-being that it was all caught up in the loud commotion coming from inside. “And I’m sorry I’m not meeting you guys on better terms but Eddie can be a bit hot headed when it comes to defending his friends.” 

“We aren’t his friends.” Richie corrected, feeling the need for clarification even if it burned his throat. Eddie had defended Stan, a person who Richie was sure he had met only a handful of times. Who in the hell did that?

“Well, you might not think so but I’ve got some news for you.” Ben replied, a slight knowing tone in his voice. “Eddie doesn’t do this shit for just anyone. Either you guys are his friends or he sure as hell has changed in the six months I’ve been gone.” 

The shouting seemed to calm down from the bar and soon Mike stumbled out with a sideways smirk on his face. He was a little disheveled, and worse for wear but alive nonetheless. “Hey, sorry about all that.” There was a pinch of sorrow behind his tone, making Richie wish he was anywhere else as Mike strolled towards Stan, placing gentle hands on his shoulders. “I had no idea those guys were going to say that stuff to you. Bill runs a no shit shift, I don’t even know how they got in. I swear he doesn’t speak for anyone on my team and I-”

“Mike.” Stan cooed, cradling the man’s face in his hands and sighing. This silenced the rambling, and Richie knew that in that moment, the world had faded away from them. “It’s okay, as long as you aren’t hurt I couldn’t care less what those idiots say.” 

Mike leaned in and caught Stan right on the lips. It was a soft and chaste but it lingered long enough to make everyone around turn away in embarrassment. Richie wanted to let go of the bile in his throat but refrained and instead took a very strong interest in the brick wall. This ended when Eddie burst through the door laughing, a fresh shiner yellowing up from under his left cheek. He looked content with himself, even if his shirt was covered in stale beer. 

“Yeah, we are banned for the month, Bill is pretty pissed. I haven’t heard him yell like that since we accidentally ran his car into the lake senior year.” Lifting his hand he wiped away a stray line of blood from his lips. Looking between all of them he asked, “You guys okay? I didn’t see where you went after Victor jumped on my back.” 

“We are fine.” Beverly hummed, “Ben came to our rescue, isn’t that right?” Richie knew she was laying it on thick, he had seen it before. She wanted in Ben’s pants, which was weird because she typically went for stupid jocks. “My savior.” She cooed, tugging on his sleeve. 

“Oh well I don’t know-I just kind of-uh-” Ben sputtered, his face turning red. 

“Well, the party is over.” Eddie said, “I guess we better just head home and try this whole getting to know each other next time.” 

“I’ll walk you home Stan.” Mike offered immediately, to which was eagerly received. 

“Well if Stan gets to have a big strong man walk him home I should too.” Richie nearly laughed at the way she patted her eyes up at Ben. “I mean what if we run into one of those guys again?” Beverly was a black belt in jiu jitsu, she had literally beat the shit of a guy last week for calling her baby. 

Ben sputtered, “I can walk you home, although I’m not really as strong as Mike and don’t know-”

“Oh thank you Ben. That’s so thoughtful of you.” 

“Wow.” Richie whistled, “That’s just great, what that just leaves me all alone then?” 

“I’ll walk you home you big baby.” Eddie said in an exasperated voice. 

“No I don’t want you to-” 

“Come on before the four of these start taking their clothes off and doing it in the alley.” Eddie cut rolling his eyes and walking past his friends who were way too engrossed in one another. “I’ve got literally nothing better to do.” 

“Great.” Richie groaned as he followed.

[wholesomemendes]

The Final Attempt | 2

College and Hockey Shawn Au

Summary: It’s the championship game for the hockey team and you’re going to support the team just as you did for the opening game, except this time, you’re repping a certain curly hair boy that you met at the library. (This is the part 2 to The Final Attempt which I will link right here)

Author’s Note: This was highly requested and while I didn’t have a part 2 in mind I’m kinda proud of how this came out so I hope you like it! This is the longest fic I have ever written with a little over 4.3k words and I worked really hard on it to make a good story arc for you guys! As always please tell me what you think!

The championship game. If you had thought that the opening game was a big event, the championship game had blown all expectations out of your mind. You weren’t one for big crowds, but here you sat amongst the hundreds of people, Shawn’s large practice jersey adorning your body with the word MENDES written in bold letters along your back. “I love it,” you recalled him telling you the first time you had put it on for a game, “Lets everyone know you’re mine.” It seemed like just yesterday you were sitting nervously at the opening game, watching the boy that had won your heart with something as simple as cups of tea and messages written in sharpie. Fast forward to this afternoon when you had kissed your boyfriend good luck before he went to practice and were now watching him skate across the ice at a rapid pace. There was only 5 minutes left in the game with the score tied up, and everyone in the stadium could feel the nail-biting tension in the air. The puck was now in Shawn’s possession as he skated across the ice towards the goal, determination set in his eyes.

“Come on, Shawn,” you whispered to yourself, watching his every move with bated breath. 4 minutes 31 seconds...30 seconds....29 seconds...CRASH. A loud gasp escaped your lips and you stood in your seat, watching as his body got checked viciously into the boards with a loud bang. Shawn slumped down onto the ice, unable to get up while his opponent stole the puck and began to skate towards the goal. “No, no, no,” you prayed, hands covering your mouth, “You’re ok, baby, get up, you’ve gotta get up.” You saw him shake his head carefully, worried that he had a concussion from the amount of impact his head took, before looking up at the timer on the wall. 2 minutes 54 seconds. His head pounded, eyes wanting so bad to just close and rest for a few seconds, but he saw the clock, knowing that this was his last chance to make his team and school proud. He looked into the crowd, eyes landing on the one person he could always trust. Your eyes connected and as he saw the look of pure concern on your face, he knew that he had to use every last bit of strength inside of him to make you proud because at the end of the day, you were the only person that truly mattered to him. The cheers of the crowd were deafening as Shawn regained his ground, skating towards one of his teammates that had managed to to steal back the puck. Passing him the puck, his team flocked him on both sides, protecting him from defenders while he approached the goalie, the clock only seconds away from the end of the game. 5... Shawn maneuvered around an opponent, puck still against his stick ...4... he stared the goalie dead in the eyes as his heart rate increased from adrenaline ...3... thump thump ....2... shoot ....1... score. The crowd erupted into cheers causing the stadium to move up and down with the excitement in the building. You jumped up, smile so wide your cheeks hurt from the action, but you couldn’t help the proud feeling that erupted in your chest. 

His teammates crowded him on the ice, adrenaline and victory rushing through their veins as they piled on one another, spirits high all around. The team’s all star player and captain was handed the winning trophy, National Champion written in bright gold lettering along the front. Cheeks flushed from the ice, Shawn held the trophy high above his head with a smile on his face that could be seen for miles, the stadium roaring in response. The energy was electric among the students, cheering from every inch of the team’s supporters as the team huddled around their winning prize and soaked up the crowd’s excitement. Shawn’s eyes met yours for a split second and you blew him a kiss, a silent message to him to show how proud you were, before he was whisked away for picture with his team. 

_________________________

The outside of the stadium was packed full of students, all waiting for the victors to finally emerge from the stadium. They were chanting the team’s name, the school’s fight song blaring from their mouths in celebration. The doors swung open and the boys came out to the wild applause and screams of the crowd. Shawn led the pack, the team’s captain smiling wide from ear to ear as the students crowded him. You leaned against the wall of the stadium, watching as all of the fans congratulated him, not wanting to disrupt his moment. He thanked them profusely, but his eyes kept wandering around searching for one particular person. Shawn’s eyes met yours and they lit up, pushing past all of the girls begging for his attention. You noticed him moving towards you and lost all restraint, running into his arms so he could pick you up in his strong grasp. You wrapped your legs around his waist, nuzzling your face into his shoulder as he did the same, “I’m so proud of you, bubs.”

“Couldn’t have done it without you, baby,” he told you sincerely, head lifting to show off that dazzling smile, “You’re my good luck charm.” Shawn had sworn by this fact after the only game they had lost had been the 3rd game of the season, the one you skipped in order to study for an upcoming test. Ever since then, you made it a point to be at every game and they hadn’t lost since, furthering proving Shawn’s theory. You giggled as he placed you on the ground, hands coming up to cup your face in a passionate kiss. Breaking away he placed an arm around your waist and kept you close while more people came to talk to him about the game. You snuggled closer to his arm, using him as a way to keep your calm over how crowded the situation was, especially when you began to feel the jealous stares of the puck bunnies around you. Shawn felt your discomfort after a moment and he squeezed your waist in reassurance before beginning to maneuver you out of the crowd. “Do you think you’ll be ok going to a party with me or do you just want to go back to your dorm? I’ll do either, it’s up to you.”

The idea of going to a party tonight made you sick when you’d much rather just cuddle in the arms of your man, but there was no way you were going to let him skip out on a championship after party, “I’ll be fine, you’ve gotta go to the party.”

He turned your body to face his, a serious look on his face, “I’m serious, though, if you don’t feel comfortable going we can just...”

“We’re going,” you replied confidently, hiding the nerves bubbling inside of your chest, “And what you’re not gonna do is worry about me and instead let loose and have fun.”

“I always worry about you babe, but thank you. I don’t deserve you.” He gave you a kiss on your forehead before he led you to follow the crowd in the direction of the chaos.

_________________________

It was 2 hours into the party when you lost your boyfriend. He had been glued to your side the whole night in an attempt to make you feel comfortable, but once the guys tried to drag him into a game of beer pong after you had begun to strike up a conversation with a girl from your math class, you convinced him to go have fun, assuring him you would be fine. You weren’t one to drink so you had been nursing a beer all night long which only gave you a slight buzz. Shawn on the other hand was about 3 drinks in and had reached the point where you knew he was going to have a nasty hangover the next day. You couldn’t blame him though, you had actually promoted it when one of his teammates, Brian, had handed him another drink. “Shawn, I promise I’ll stay sober so you can have fun,” you had told him, but he protested, claiming that he didn’t want to ruin your night. However, you happened to love drunk Shawn because although you didn’t see him often, he was known to be extremely cute and clingy even if his energy was also to the max. 

You followed the loud yells coming from within the house only to find Brian standing on top of the beer pong table in victory as Shawn laughed beneath him. Two guys you recognized as some of his teammates grimaced on the side as they took a swig of an unknown substance, immediately souring their faces in disgust. “Hey bubs,” you placed a tender hand on his shoulder, causing Shawn’s face to turn around with a dopey grin on his face.

“Babyyyyy,” he cooed, wrapping his arms around you, “I missed you.”

You could smell the alcohol on his breath, but you chose to ignore it, focusing on the feeling of being in his arms instead, “I missed you too, did you and Brian win your game?”

“We did! Baby, I’m so good at beer pong,” he mumbled into your hair as his hands roamed your sides, “I should play you sometime.”

“Nah, I’d rather play on your team.” 

“Will you lovebirds stop hanging on each other over there, I need my beer pong partner back!”

Shawn’s head perked up after hearing Brian’s words and he pulled you in front of him, back to his chest with his arms still wrapped around you. “I’m not your partner anymore I’m hers,” he said confidently, placing his head on top of yours, “You wanna play us, Craigen?” 

“I don’t want to drink anything, Shawn,” you whispered to him while Brian went on the hunt to find a partner.

“I know,” he took your hand in his, kissing the back lightly, “I’ll drink for you, ok?”

“You really think you need more to drink?” you teased and he laughed, throwing his head back causing him to hiccup. His eyes widened at his own actions and a giggle escaped his lips, “Probably not, but I’ve got a pretty girl that’ll take care of me.”

“Oh, I’ve gotta take care of you?’

“You don’t have to, but you’re the only one I want to,” he showed his puppy dog eyes, even though you were fully planning on ensuring he got home safely, “Pleaseeee.”

“I’m just messing with you,” you told him, ruffling through his curls, “I’ll always take care of you.” Just then, Brian came back with his newest victim, giving the both of you a mouthful after you pecked his lips before starting the game. Shawn wasn’t lying, even drunk he was good at beer pong allowing you to win even though you only made 3 throws. Brian’s team still managed to make a considerable amount of cups which led to your beloved boyfriend becoming even drunker than he already was. Once the clock hit 3 am and Shawn began suggesting that you join in on the body shots that people were beginning to do in the kitchen, you decided that it was time to bring your champion home.

_________________________

“Come on, bubs, let’s get you out of these clothes.” Shawn was busy mumbling something incoherent as you stumbled into his dorm room and placed him on the bed. You knew Brian was probably not coming back tonight, so you weren’t worried about him barging into the room in the middle of the night. You lightly tugged on his alcohol stained shirt, a result of him getting a little clumsy during his second round of beer pong, “You gotta help me a little bit here, big guy.”

He lifted his arms up to help you out, eyes glazed over as he sat on the edge of his bed, “’M tired.” 

“I know, bubs,” you sighed, beginning to unbutton his pants, “Just gotta get you into some clean clothes.”

“Hey, missy, no funny business there,” he slurred out with a drunken smile on his lips as he grabbed your wrist from pulling down his pants, earning a giggle from you in response. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it, bubs,” successfully tugging his pants off, you reached behind you for the pair of pajama pants you had placed on the dresser and turned back to the giant man child that now had a pout adorning his face. 

“You don’t dream of it?” he asked hurt, eyes drooping from the lack of sleep, “But, but, I’m your boyfriend...and you’ve said I’m handsome, and, and I’m hot!”

You laughed at his antics, getting the pants around his ankles and putting your hands in his to help hims stand up. He leaned against your much smaller body as you pulled the waist band up and held his face in your hands. “I think you’re very, very handsome,” you told him, admiring how adorable he looked even with glazed, drunken eyes and a bright pink tint to his cheeks from the alcohol, “I also happen to think you’re the hottest man alive, but you just so happen to be extremely drunk right now which means you need to go to sleep.” Shawn collapsed into your arms, giving you a bone crushing hug as you stumbled back trying to regain your footing.

“I love you,” he mumbled into your shoulder, “so, so much.”

Your heart fluttered at his words. You had only been dating for a little over 5 months, so the words were still very new to the two of you and they almost made you cry at how lucky you were every time he said those 3 simple words. “I love you too, champ. Let’s get you to bed.”

You maneuvered him into the tiny bed of his dorm room and he immediately snuggled into your chest like a little puppy once you laid down. With his head rested comfortably on your chest and his arms wrapped around you, his breathing began to even out while you slowly ran your fingers through his curls, “Goodnight, my little champion.”

_________________________

Your alarm went off at 9am much to your dismay, and you struggled to reach over the curly headed boy on your chest to turn it off. You didn’t have a single clue as to why you still had a lecture today, but you did, and as much as you wanted to just lay in bed all day with your boyfriend, you couldn’t miss one of your hardest lectures. You tried to move out from underneath your giant of a boyfriend earning you a groan while his arms tightened around you. “Shawn, I have to get up,” you whispered, tracing over the freckles on his muscular back.

“Don’t go,” he mumbled into your chest, “Just wanna cuddle for a little bit.”

“I know bubs, but I have to get to class.” 

At this, he finally let you leave his strong grasps, grabbing onto the pillow to hold onto in place of you, “What class?”

“Mr. Howard at 11, but I have to go home and get changed.” You had put on the sweatshirt you had under his jersey along with your jeans from the game, knowing you couldn’t just wear the shirt you had stolen from his closet to sleep in last night to walk back to your dorm. “I left you some water and medicine for your head on the nightstand, make sure to get some rest, ok?” you ruffled your hands through his hair and he relaxed further into the mattress from your motions. You gave him a soft kiss on his mass of curls, mumbling an I love you into them, before grabbing your belongings from atop Brian’s bed and turning towards the door.

Shawn grabbed your hand to stop you from leaving, placing the sweetest of kisses on the back of your hand while looking you in the eyes, “I love you more.” Your cheeks heated up at his words and you squeezed his hand lovingly before making your way out of his room. 

Walking as fast as you could to your dorm room, you got ready in a hurry, knowing you would have to rush to make your lecture in time due to the extra moments you had spent at Shawn’s place. You put on the first reasonable outfit you could find and packed your bag at a rapid speed in order to make it out the door with 15 minutes to spare. It usually took about 20 minutes for you to walk to class, but you were determined to not be late today. You practically sprinted to the large stone building and managed to walk through the door just as the professor was about to lock it. Giving him a sheepish smile, your eyes searched for an open seat, only to let out a disappointed sigh when you noticed that your typical seat towards the front had been taken. The only available seat was right next to the door and you begrudgingly sat down in it as you took out your laptop to take notes.

30 minutes into the lecture and your brain was fried. Your mind kept on wandering off and daydreaming about being back in bed in Shawn’s arms no matter how much you tried to concentrate. This had to be one of your hardest lectures, but you were having such a hard time focusing that you were wondering if you should just pack your things and leave. The growling of your stomach cut off your thoughts and made you realize that you hadn’t eaten or drank anything before coming to class, which was definitely taking a toll on you. You sighed, looking back up at the professor when you heard the door of the lecture hall closing. Whipping your head around, you couldn’t see anyone entering the room so you focused your thoughts back to the screen with a confused look on your face. As you went to move your laptop to better see your professor, your eyes were drawn to something that had definitely not been on your desk a few seconds prior. A white cup of tea, noticeably from the school’s cafe, was sitting right on the corner of your desk, staring back at you. Tentatively, you picked it up, turning it around in your hands only to be met with Shawn’s signature handwriting written in Sharpie. 

A hot hibiscus tea with one scoop of sugar.

Sorry if I made you late to class today, thank you for taking care of me beautiful.

Love you loads, Shawn aka Bubs aka your Champ aka Best Boyfriend ever

P.S. because you’re an amazing girlfriend and you spent the whole night making sure I didn’t kill myself I’m taking you out tonight. I’m picking you up at 7, dress warm;)

You bit your lip to hide the wide grin forming on your face and suddenly, you wanted to get out of class as soon as possible for a completely different reason. The lecture seemed to drag on for hours and the moment your professor was finished you were rushing out the door to your dorm. You still had almost 6 hours left to kill before Shawn picked you up, so you texted him letting you know that you were done with class as you began to distract yourself with homework and notes from other classes. Once 6pm approached, you heart was beating rapidly with excitement and you decided it wasn’t too early to get ready. You didn’t quite know what to wear when he said dress warm because the weather was considerably nice outside and did not require a warmer dress code. Nevertheless, you decided to put on one of Shawn’s hockey sweatshirts that had his name printed on the back in bold with the school’s logo on the front and some warm leggings underneath. 

7 o’clock rolled around as a knock sounded on your door. Opening it up to reveal your perfect boyfriend, you launched yourself into his arms which he responded to by pulling you closer with a light laugh, “Hi baby.” 

“Hi handsome,” you giggled as he looked at you sheepishly while holding out a bouquet of yellow roses to you, which he just happened to know were your favorite, as if it was your first date all over again. You thanked him with a blush on your face and a kiss to his cheek, causing his face to light up pink when you turned around, just from your presence. 

“That’s an awfully nice sweatshirt you got there.”

You laughed as he made his way into your dorm room, wrapping his arms around you from behind while you were finding a place to put the flowers, “I got it from the greatest college hockey player I know.”

“I’m the only college hockey player you know,” he pointed out as you turned around in his hold.

“Exactly,” you teased and he feigned offense, pinching your sides lightly in protest and pouting out his lips. You leaned up to kiss the pout off his lips and he immediately deepened the kiss, pushing his body closer to yours until he suddenly came to his senses and pulled away, “Stop distracting me woman, we have places to be.” With that he grabbed your hand and began to pull you out of the dorms and towards his jeep, the two of you laughing the entire way.

_________________________

The drive to your unknown location took less than 10 minutes and before you knew it, Shawn was pulling into a parking stop at the school’s hockey stadium. “What are we doing here?” you curiously asked through giggles from the last joke he had just told you.

“I may or may not have gotten the rink free for tonight so we could skate together,” he confessed, a bashful blush on his cheeks as he got out of the jeep and came around to open your door.

“How did you manage that?”

“Being the school’s star player and captain does have its perks. You’re practically dating a celebrity baby.”

“Oh shut up,” you pushed him jokingly and he retaliated quickly, lifting you over his shoulder and running towards the door.

“Shawn! Let me down!” you laughed as your arms tried to grab onto a part of his muscular back to no avail. He grabbed your legs to insure you wouldn’t fall and spun you around one last time once he reached the entrance, putting you down gently. Shawn opened the door for you, the stadium feeling oddly empty with how quiet it was. Guiding you towards the rink, Shawn felt his heart bubble in anticipation at the thought of having his girl alone with him in his favorite place to just skate around. He handed you a pair of skates that he had already placed on a bench for you, having asked your roommate for your shoe size earlier in the day. “I haven’t been ice skating in about 5 years,” you admitted, a nervous chuckle leaving your lips. How you managed to have a star hockey player as your boyfriend when you could hardly skate on two feet you didn’t know, and even though you knew Shawn wouldn’t judge you for your skills, or lack of for that matter, you still felt a tad bit embarrassed.

“Don’t worry, hun,” he told you as he helped you lace up your skates, “I’ll hold your hand every second we’re out there.” With one last tug on the laces, he patted your skate securely, looking up at you with doe-like eyes, “How do they feel?”

“Perfect,” you leaned down and pecked his lips before he sat down next to you to begin his own skates. Taking your hand in his, he pulled you onto your wobbily feet and led you towards the ice. 

“Now I’m gonna get on first, just hold onto my hands.” This wasn’t your forte for sure, but Shawn was a patient teacher and after a few laps around the rink, you were feeling much more confident, probably a little too confident. You had been skating for about 45 minutes when you had suggested that he taught you how to skate backwards. Shawn’s face had lit up, loving every second of you being interested in something he loved and he immediately turned himself around to hold your hands to show you how to start. For a beginner, you weren’t doing awful, but you were far from perfect and that became clear when your feet fell out from underneath you. Shawn wrapped his arms around you just as you were about to fall on your butt, effectively having you land on top of him on the ice, the both of you laughing your heads off. 

Once the laughter began to settle, Shawn’s eyes began to turn softer, the lights inside of the rink making them glow brighter than usual. “How’d I get so lucky?” he mumbled to himself as he tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear, but you heard it loud and clear. 

“I ask myself that everyday, bubs.”

He cradled the back of your head in his hand, lifting his head to meet your lips in a passionate kiss. “I love you,” you whispered softly against his lips.

“I love you too, baby. You mean more to me than any hockey championship I could ever win.”

[puckngrind]

Skating Lessons part 9

Summary/note: So I deleted half of this and had to rewrite.  The story line is the same...but I’m still sad I messed up.  Dudes date/girls pedis out.

Warning: adorableness

Word count: 1888

Series Masterlist

Before Josh leaves in the morning he tosses a jersey on the bed.  “If you want to wear this today I wouldn’t be mad.”  You open up the jersey to see Anderson on the back.  It’s the 3rd jersey so it’s different than Mason’s home one and you eye Josh who has a bashful look on his face.  

“I’ll think about it Babe.”  You lean up to kiss him and Josh laughs into you.

“I’ll see you tonight after the game okay? I gave my mom your number just incase.”  Josh pulls you up from the bed to plant a kiss on you again.

Before Josh leaves in the morning he tosses a jersey on the bed.  “If you want to wear this today I wouldn’t be mad.”  You open up the jersey to see Anderson on the back.  It’s the 3rd jersey so it’s different than Mason’s home one and you eye Josh who has a bashful look on his face.  

“I’ll think about it Babe.”  You lean up to kiss him and Josh laughs into you.

“I’ll see you tonight after the game okay? I gave my mom your number just incase.”  Josh pulls you up from the bed to plant a kiss on you again.

You once again park at Josh’s and walk over.  Your seats are planted firmly in the middle of the family section.  You see many of the wives and girlfriends you saw at the last home game you went to.  Natalie turns around from her seat to greet you and say hi to Mason.  Before the boys skate out the Andersons and Amy Jones find their way to the seats behind you.  Mason stands up to talk Michelle’s ear off and pulls his jersey up to show Amy he in fact has his Seth Jones shirt from Christmas on under his Anderson jersey which makes everyone around you bust out laughing.  When the team skates out Josh, Boone, PLD, and Seth make their ways to wave at Mason.  Josh holds up his fingers counting down by 3 and both him and Mason do their secret signal.

“So, that’s why he keeps doing that.  I’ve seen it every game.”  Michelle leans over to you and you look back to meet her eyes.

“Yeah, Josh and Mason came up with it awhile ago during a skate.  Mason does it in our living room.”  You pull out your phone to show her the video you’ve sent Josh.  Michelle and Amy awe over the adorableness of Mason’s video.  

“Momma, Momma, Momma!”  Mason tugs at your jersey and you turn around to see Mason dancing round looking up at the screen.  Sure enough the camera had landed on him and he was in heaven.  You wave and then the video cuts to Josh shooting on the ice.  You gulp and Amy places her hand on your shoulder.

“So pedis tomorrow, you ready for some girl time?”  Amy distracts you and you are thankful for it.

“I sure am!” Michelle chimes in and you shake your head to agree.  

The game goes well.  Michelle took Mason to get popcorn between the 2nd and 3rd period and Amy climbs into his seat.  Gary was engrossed in a conversation with the man next to him.

“You are doing well with this.”  Amy pats your leg and you look down to try to control your blush.

“I don’t feel like I am usually.”  You honestly tell her as the boys come back out to warm up.  

“It comes with time Honey and you’ve got time from what I see.”  Amy points as Josh makes another pass fully keeping his eyes on you and only you.  Your heart skips a beat.  He had a way of making you feel like no one else was in the room even when you were in a stadium filled with tons of hockey fans.  

The buzzer sounded and the boys won 2 to 1.  You grab Mason’s hand and head to see Josh.  In the elevator you see Mason tug at Gary’s vest.  Gary looks down, “So what was Josh like when he played hockey at my age?”  Mason had the most serious look on his face and then lets out the biggest yawn.

Gary leans down to Mason’s level, “I’ve seen video of you skate and he wasn’t as good as you are now but promise you won’t tell him, okay?”  He winks at Mason and stands back up when the elevator doors open.  Amy nudges you as you take in the moment.

Rounding the corner that leads to the locker rooms you here Mason shout Josh’s name and before you can grab him he takes off.  Josh is standing in the hallway being interviewed...with a camera.  Josh holds up his finger to Mason without skipping a beat in the interview and grabs his hand.  The interviewer finishes and heads into the locker room with Amy on his heals.  Josh scoops up Mason and they are chatting when you make your way to his side.  He pulls you in whispering how much he loved you then places a kiss on the top of your head.  You say goodbye to his parents and Josh grabs your hand to head to the car.  Pulling out of the drive was easier than the first time.  Josh has his hand on your thigh and you are rubbing your hand through his hair.  

“I’m not sure what they said on television about you and Mason but he was adorable dancing on the big screen.”  Josh squeezes your knee and your hand stops moving.  

“What do you mean...television?”  You gulp.

“Well Dubi pointed up to the screen when he saw Mason and I had to look away when they moved out to show you.  Too distracting.”  He breathes out a laugh and continues, “well normally what’s on the screen is what is on the televised broadcast.  They usually just talk about the game and our stats not what they are actually showing.  No worries.”  He moves his hand up your leg as he waits for you to process.

“So are you two staying the night?”  He doesn’t break his eyes from the road.

“Yeah, I thought it would be silly to go home just to come right back.  Our bags are in the car.”  You stare at Josh and see the corners of his mouth turn up.

“I was hoping you would say that.  I’m looking forward to our dudes day tomorrow.”  His eyes flash to Mason and hand squeezes your leg.

“It’s a big step, you know, keeping him....”  You jump out of the car to help Josh get Mason inside.  

“Yeah, but I think we got this.”  Josh leads you into his place and you two tuck Mason in to his guest bedroom then retreat to his room.

You wake up to laughter and the smell of bacon coming from the kitchen.  Slipping out of bed, you find one of Josh’s shirts and shorts he left out and head towards the noise.  You take in the moment.  Cartoons on in the living room, Mason standing on a chair leaning into Josh who showing him how to scoop the bread out of the french toast mix.  You grab a coffee and lean in to see.  Josh places his hand on the small of your back and a gentle kiss on your lips.

“Momma, we wanted to make you breakfast before your girls day out.”  Josh continues to help Mason and Mace shakes his head in agreement.  “So go ahead and get ready so we can finish this.”  he leads you out of the kitchen and you catch a glimpse of Mason in full concentration mode as you head down the hall.  You quickly get ready and join the boys at the table.

“So I left a key on the counter for you in case we go down to the Mile or something so you don’t have to wait.  Also, there is a package being delivered while I’m on the road. I was hoping you could bring it in for me.”  Josh doesn’t look up from his breakfast.

“Yeah, I think I can handle that.  What’s the package?”  You ask and Josh just smirks at you.

“Oh you will see.”  As he stands up to answer the door.  Amy busts in the room with her arms wide open.

“Let’s go get our pedis on (y/n)!”  She engulfs you in a hug as Seth greets you and finds a place on the couch.  Mason quickly joins him to catch up on the episode on the television.

“Have fun babe.”  Josh kisses you and you nod into him.  “Us dudes are sure going to.”  With that Amy practically pulls you out and to her car.

Michelle greets you at the nail salon with mimosas in hand.  You settle in and immediately Amy is taking pictures and videos.  You laughed so hard at Amy and Michelle’s banter that your side hurt.  It was so good to just be around women.  Then Michelle puts her hand on yours, “So do you really love him?”  Her simple question has a lot of power behind it.  You look down at your empty glass and look back at Michelle with water welling in your eyes.  

“I do.”  You breathe out.  You absolutely loved Josh but telling his mother was a big deal that weighed on you.

“Well I can tell you I’ve never seen my son so in love with someone.  He loves you more than hockey and baseball.  He loves Mason just as much.  It’s something special you two have.”  She pats your hand again and releases it so you can wipe the tear that started streaming down your check.  

“Well Shell, I’m still mad Seth didn’t see her first.”  And with that Amy got you laughing again.  “Let’s go round up those boys of ours huh?”  You said your goodbyes to Michelle and followed Amy back to her car.

Josh didn’t answer your text about coming home but you thought Mason must have had him running around.  As you enter his place you take in the surroundings.  You see a knee hockey goal set up in the hallway and a giant blanket fort around the couch. Seth is sitting in the chair playing a video game.  You scan the room again but you don’t here or see Josh and Mason.  You eye Seth who points under the blanket fort.  You bend down to see Mason asleep on Josh’s chest.  You snap a picture and here Josh clear his throat.  

“Did you just post that?”  He groggy voice and rubbing of his eyes proves he was napping too.  

“I mean it’s adorable...unless I should delete it and post my cute pedi!”  You wiggle your toes at him.  

“Progress.  I like it.”  Josh gives you a smirk.  You say goodbye to Seth and Amy.  Thanking Amy again.  Then crawl in the fort snuggling into Josh’s side as he shifts Mason to put his arm around you.  Kissing your slightly he asks about your girls day.

“Your mom told me that you love me more than hockey.”  You look up at Josh.  He smiles simply and plants a gentle kiss on your lips.

“She’s 1000% correct.”  He kisses you again and you snuggle into his chest with Mason.

[spine-buster]

Alone, Together | Chapter 19 | Morgan Rielly

A/N:  Prepare your feels, guys.  I apologize in advance because it gets a bit dark. TW: mention of abuse, alcohol abuse, death

“So, like…how old were you when you learned how to skate?” Bee asked nervously as her leg was tucked between Morgan’s thighs.  

“Three,” he said, concentrating more on tightening and fastening the skate on her foot; he wanted to make sure it wasn’t too tight so her feet had enough room to breathe, but so tight as to suffocate them.  It was a delicate balance.  

“So you’ve had a little bit of practice then,” she said, making a bad joke.  Morgan looked up at her, a smirk on his face.   “Sorry.”

“There’s no reason to be nervous, Bumblebee,” he said, tightening the laces one last time.  “It’s not like I’m gonna throw you out there and let you fend for yourself.”

“I know,” she nodded her head, looking out at the rink in Hollyburn Country Club and all the people skating on it already.  “I’m just nervous about making a complete ass of myself.”

“Impossible.”

“How so?”

“Cause you’ve got a great teacher,” he winked, grabbing her other leg and putting it between his thighs.  “How does the first skate feel?”

“Good.”

“Yoohoo!  Over here!” they both heard Shirley’s voice call from beside them.  She had her phone in her hand, pointed towards them.  “Smile for the camera!”  They did as they were told, and she snapped a cute picture, giving them thumbs up before walking back towards Andy, who was waiting for her at the entrance to the ice.  

From behind Morgan, Connor knocked on the glass, and Bee could hear him yell “Hurry up!” through the glass before skating away.  She giggled as she watched Morgan tie up the skate and set her foot down.  “How does that one feel?”

“Good.  You promise not to let go?” she asked as she stood up.  

“Just like swimming,” he nodded his head, getting onto the ice before her.  “Bend your knees a little bit, okay?  You can’t start with stiff knees.”

Bee held on to Morgan’s hands as she stepped out onto the ice, slipping almost automatically, unable to keep her balance.  Morgan’s strong arms pulled her back up as she yelped in fear.  “Heeeeyyy hey hey hey, calm down, calm down.  Take it slow.  You can’t be Connor McDavid right away.”

“Who’s Connor McDavid?”

“Forget it,” he laughed.  “Just stand, okay?  Forget trying to make strides.  Just stand and get used to the feeling of the blades under your feet.”

Bee listened intently to Morgan as he patiently, painstakingly, taught her how to skate.  She clung onto his hands for dear life half the time, pleading for him not to let go, and he was so patient with her, not once telling her to let go unless she was ready.  When she finally was, he was her biggest fan, cheering her on as he skated backwards and she skated towards him.  Eventually, she grew confident enough to skate away from the boards, not relying on them to save her in case she fell and had to get up.  She was even skating with her hands relaxed at her sides and not straight out to help her keep her balance.  She even held hands with Morgan as he slowed down to skate with her, helping her stop and turn when she got too close to the boards.  She wasn’t exactly Connor McDavid – whoever that was – but she was gliding along the ice nonetheless.  She couldn’t believe she’d waited 23 years to skate.  

After about an hour and a half, Bee was tired and Shirley had approached Morgan to tell him some kids were waiting for him to get his autograph and a picture.  Bee gave him a quick kiss before she skated off and Morgan skated towards the kids.  She sat on the same bench as she had before when Morgan was fastening her skates, resting her legs as she watched him pose for picture after picture.  She felt her phone buzz from her back pocket and moved to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Hey,” Angie’s voice was heard on the other end.  “What are you up to right now?” she asked.  They had been texting throughout Bee’s time there, so Angie didn’t need to ask how everything was going.  

“Just watching Morgan sign some autographs,” she said.

“He took you to an autograph signing?”

“No no.  We’re at the country club his family are members of, and all the kids swarmed him on the ice after he taught me how to skate.”

“A country club?  That’s adorable,” Angie said quickly.  “Um, listen.  I’m calling you to ask you for a favour.”

“What favour is that?” Bee asked, worried about Angie’s quick tone.

“I think it’s time to put your Instagram on private now, and I’d delete everyone you don’t know personally.”

Bee’s heart skipped a beat.  She and Angie had talked about the messages, but this was the first time Angie had cautioned her to go private.  Usually, Angie contributed a ‘fuck them’ or ‘You should put on all the most expensive stuff you bought and take a picture with Morgan and caption it go to hell’.  She’d never sounded so serious about it a she did now.  “Why?”

“Listen, I don’t want to freak you out, but they’re adding me now, and asking me questions about you.  I’m not saying they’re harassing me – quite the opposite actually because I’m the one telling them to fuck off – but I don’t want them to start doing that to anyone else,” she explained.  “I think it’s great that you don’t care about what they have to say, but I don’t want them bothering more and more people.”

“Yeah.  Yeah of course,” Bee said absent-mindedly.  “Fuck Angie, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” she said.  “They’re desperate and they don’t know boundaries.  When everybody shares everything on social media, they think they’re entitled to see everything about your life, and they don’t get that they’re not.”

“Exactly.”

“Just be careful.  Work on it as soon as possible.  Again, I know you don’t care about what they have to say, but I think now is the time to cut them off.”

“Yeah.  Yeah okay,” Bee gulped.  “Angie, what did they say to you?  Was it horrible?”

“No, nothing like that.  They’ve just been asking question about you, like what you do and if you’re dating Morgan.  One girl asked if I had any pictures of you two together.  It was really weird.  But I told them all to fuck off.”

“Angie, I feel horrible.”

“Don’t feel horrible because they don’t know boundaries.  It was fine if it was just one or two of them, but then there was a horde and it just became annoying,” she explained.  “And you know me, I’m a petty person – at least I can be.  If I were you, I’d post a single picture of you and Morgan before you go private and delete everyone.  Kick ‘em where it really hurts.”

Bee couldn’t help but laugh at her suggestion.  “I’ll think about it.”

***

Later that day, during their last night in Vancouver, Bee found herself at dinner with Morgan and his parents at the exclusive Gotham Restaurant in downtown Vancouver.  Morgan wanted to go out with a bang, apparently, because caviar was $150, then they had to get a round of oysters, the bottle of cabernet franc from Napa Valley was $345, and Bee’s filet and lobster with mashed potatoes and asparagus was a $100 plate alone.  He told the waiter everything like it was an order at McDonalds.  Though she was somewhat getting used to the big spending – at least to her standards – this was pretty extravagant.  But all she could do was blink and smile as she tallied the expense of everyone’s order.  Maybe she should have become a waitress instead, because theirs was going to get one hell of a tip tonight.  

Despite trying to feel accustomed to the extravagance around her, she was genuinely having fun with Morgan and his parents.  They were sharing stories of Morgan’s youth and what he was like as a kid, and Shirley kept sharing pictures she had on her phone of him as a kid (“I always keep some on here in case Hockey Night in Canada wants to do a quick something on him when the Leafs come to town.”).  Andy and Shirley even went so far as to tell embarrassing stories of what he would call about during his first year in Toronto when he was attempting to cook for himself.  Bee learned that he was completely useless, and that eventually the calls stopped because he just admitted defeat and ordered most of his food.

As they continued to laugh and share stories, Bee felt her phone buzz from inside her bag.  She decided to ignore it at first, but not even one minute later it was buzzing again, and she couldn’t ignore it anymore.  She quickly unclasped her purse and looked at her phone.  In large caps lock font, ‘TORONTO POLICE SERVICES’ flashed on her screen.  

Her heart began to race.  She looked up quickly at Andy and Shirley, and looked down at her phone screen again.  She couldn’t tell them that that the police were calling her, but she needed a way out.  She had to think fast.  “I’m really sorry,” she announced, getting up from her seat quickly.  “I’m really sorry, but U of T is calling me.  I have to take this.”

“That’s alright honey,” Shirley smiled.  Bee was thankful they had already finished their meal and were just waiting on their dessert orders anyway.  “You go ahead.  I’ll make sure Morgan doesn’t eat your crème brulee.”

Bee made a beeline away from the table and swiped across her screen to answer the phone call so she wouldn’t lose it again.  She made her way towards the long hallway that led to the washrooms, hoping she’d get decent service and enough silence to be able to hear.  “Hello?”

“Hello, am I speaking with Ms. Briony McTavish?”

“Speaking.”

“Ms. McTavish, my name is Greg Campbell.  I’m calling from the Toronto Police Department, 51 Division.  Do you have a few moments to speak with me?”

Bee furrowed her brows.  “Uh, of course.  Is everything okay?” she asked.  She didn’t remember doing anything illegal, and the only other reason they could be calling her was the break and enter from November.  She figured since so much time had passed, they never found anything.

“Ms. McTavish, are you currently residing in Toronto?”

“Y-Yes…” she answered.  “I mean, I’m not in Toronto right now – I’m in Vancouver visiting my boyfriend’s parents – but yes, I live permanently in Toronto,” she explained.

“And Ms. McTavish, according to records I have on file here, you were legally emancipated from your mother, Ms. Sharon McTavish, when you were sixteen years old.”

Bee’s body stiffened at the mention of her mother.  “Yes I was.  My mother was a serious alcoholic.”

“Have you been in touch with your mother since you were emancipated from her?”

“No,” Bee said definitively.  “She barely showed love or affection throughout my whole life with her, and I thought it best for my mental health not to keep in contact with her after the emancipation.  She has never tried to contact me either.”

“Ms. McTavish, I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable with these questions – I just need to get the specifics of the case --”

“What case is that?”

Greg hesitated on the other end.  “Ms. McTavish, I regret to inform you that your mother has passed away.  She was found dead on the morning of Friday, January 25th due to cirrhosis of the liver.”

Bee went quiet.  Her mother was dead.  Found dead.  Dead due to cirrhosis of the liver.  Dead.  Morning of Friday.  Whale watching.  She was whale watching and her mother was dead.  The silence between the two was long before Bee verbalized her first thought out loud.  “She’s dead.”

“Yes ma’am.  She passed away early Friday morning.  Her body was found by a volunteer at the homeless shelter where she was staying that night.”

If it was possible, her body stiffened even more.  “She was homeless?”

“Well, temporarily.  She was at the Fred Victor Homeless Shelter here in Moss Park.  According to the facilitators she was in-between housing, but that’s where she was,” Greg said.

Bee took a sharp breath in hearing that name again.  She took a moment to collect herself before trying to formulate a thought other than ‘She’s dead’.  “Um…so, what are my next steps then?”

“Well Ms. McTavish, you were the only person listed as being of relation to Sharon, so you automatically become in charge of her estate,” Greg explained.  Bee was thoroughly surprised she was still listed under anything to do with her mother, even after the emancipation.  “There is…not much, as you can imagine, but some decisions still have to be made.  And as the defacto executor of her estate, you may choose the next steps – if you would like her buried, or cremated…”

“Um…” Bee looked quickly back at Morgan and his parents sitting at the table.  His mom was taking a sip of wine while Morgan was nodding at something his dad was saying.  Morgan broke out into a grin soon after, as did his dad.  Morgan looked over to Bee’s empty seat.  “When…I mean, when do I have to make these decisions?”

“Well I understand that you’re in Vancouver, but is there an expected date for your return?”

“Um, I’ll be back Friday night, actually.”

“Well, then I will give you my contact information, and when you get back, I can meet with you at the station and explain your next options,” Greg offered kindly.  “I don’t want to rush you to make decisions, and I know you were clearly not close with your mother and haven’t been in contact with her for a while, but do you think there will be a funeral service?”

“No.”

“Or a burial?”

“Cremation. I don’t…I don’t want anything fancy.”

“Alright Ms. McTavish.  We will speak when you’re back in Toronto.”

Bee hung up the phone, looking down at it until the screen went dark and she couldn’t even formulate a coherent thought about the conversation she just had.  Her mother was dead.  Her mother – whom she hadn’t seen or spoken to for seven years – was dead.  Her mother, the serious alcoholic.  The emotional abuser.  The not-a-mother-at-all.  She tried to compose herself, even though she wasn’t crying at all, as she looked back at Morgan and his parents.  They were still laughing about something.  

She returned to the table, trying to mask her uneasiness at the phone conversation she just had.  She pulled out her chair, getting the attention of everyone.  “Everything okay?” Andy asked as she settled back into her seat.

“Everything’s fine,” she nodded her head quickly, tucking herself in and stuffing her phone back into her bag.  

“You sure?  Who was it?” Morgan asked, grabbing her hand gently underneath the table.  

“It was just a registrar from U of T,” she lied, smiling at him.  “Just wanted to confirm something on my transcript before they printed my copy for the interview.”

She could feel his thumb rubbing her hand gently as his dad recapped the story he had been telling quickly before continuing it.  She felt bad about lying, but there was no way in hell she was going to say something and ruin such a perfect night.  Though she smiled and laughed along, squeezing Morgan’s hand as it rested on her thigh, all she could think about was the image of her mom lying on a bed in a homeless shelter.

Dead.

***

When they arrived back at the Rielly house that night after dinner, Bee made sure to pack up her belongings, save for what she was going to need tomorrow morning and wear on the flight.  To be respectful to Morgan’s parents, she and Morgan had stayed in their respective rooms the entire trip, not daring to try to sneak into each other’s, but tonight he was with her, helping her pack and getting everything ready.  His parents had already called it a night and were in their room at the opposite end of the house.  The house was so big that they probably wouldn’t even have known or heard if either of them had snuck into the other’s room at night.  

To be completely honest, Bee wanted nothing more than that to happen tonight.  She didn’t know what she was feeling in relation to the news she got after dinner, but she knew that she didn’t want to be alone.  She knew that she wanted Morgan with her, around her in some capacity.  

When they were finished packing everything and had changed into their pajamas, Morgan watched as Bee stared at the wall absent-mindedly, something obviously bothering her.  He came up behind her and sat on the bed beside her, giving her a quick kiss on the temple and leaving a trail of kisses on her shoulder.  “Briony…” he mumbled against her skin.

“Hmm?”

“Are you sure it was just U of T that called at dinner?” Morgan asked.

She knew he would ask sooner or later.  She’d tried not to let anything show, but besides Angie, there was nobody more in tune with her emotions than Morgan.  She knew he’d pick up on it.  “Why?”

“Listen, I don’t mean to pry.  It’s just I noticed that you were a bit different since you got back.  My mom noticed it too because she’s sensitive about these things but she didn’t want to say anything.  Is…is everything okay?”

Bee let out a shaky breath, one that, truthfully, she had been holding in since she got the call.  “Mo…”

He grabbed her had and brought it up to his lips to kiss it gently.  “What’s the matter, Bumblebee?  Tell me.”

“It wasn’t U of T that called.”

“Okay.  Who was it?”

“It was a guy named Greg Campbell.  He’s a police officer with 51 Division in Toronto.”

Morgan looked at her skeptically.  “You’re telling me after all this time they found your stuff?”

“No…it’s not…” she shook her head.  She let out another shaky breath before continuing.  “Um, he called me to tell me my mom passed away.  A volunteer at a homeless shelter found her, and she died from cirrhosis of the liver.”

Bee could practically see Morgan’s heart fall into his stomach.  He opened his mouth a few times to say something, but nothing came out for a while, until, “Oh my God, Briony…wh…why didn’t you say something?”

“I wasn’t going to say something at dinner with your parents,” she said.

“Briony, your mother passed away.”

“I don’t want to make a big deal out of this.  She’s dead, and I always knew she was going to die from the alcoholism, so this isn’t as much of a surprise to me as you think it is,” she explained.  “I don’t…I’m not upset by this.  I haven’t spoken to her in seven years.  She was abusive.”

It was the first time she had said the words so definitively out loud.  She was abusive.  They weren’t pretty words, but they needed to be said.  And Morgan needed to hear them.  It was the reason she wasn’t crying.  She couldn’t feel sadness or sympathy for her abuser, or for a woman who wasted her life on alcohol instead of caring for her daughter.  

Morgan had no choice but to accept what she was saying.  He could tell her ‘But that’s your mom’ over and over again until he was blue in the face, but it wasn’t going to have an effect on Bee.  To Bee, Sharon wasn’t a mom.  There was nothing that could convince her that she was.  And truthfully, Morgan knew she was right.  And if that’s the way Bee felt, then that’s the way he felt about it too.  If she didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, then he would try not to make a big deal out of it either.  “She…cirrhosis of the liver?  What is that?”

“It’s complicated, but just know it’s not good.  It’s a common by-product of severe alcoholism,” she explained.  “But the fact of the matter is that she died.  When we go back to Toronto, I have to deal with her funeral and her estate.”

“I’ll come with you,” he said automatically.

“You don’t--”

“I want to,” he interrupted her.  “What did I tell you?  You don’t have to go through this stuff alone anymore.  We’re going to go through this stuff together.”

Bee looked at him.  All 6’1” of him, blonde hair, blue eyes, muscles tucked into pajama shorts and an old t-shirt.  He was so boyish and so handsome and he had his pick of any girl in Toronto and he managed to choose the one with the fucked up childhood and alcoholic mother who had just died.  And he was still here after learning all that.  He still flew her to Vancouver to meet his parents.  He still volunteered to see a dead alcoholic’s body ravaged by cirrhosis.  She didn’t deserve him.  “Morgan?”

“Mhmm?”

“Can you…can you just like, hold me?”

“C’mere, Bumblebee,” he moved to hold her in his arms as he tucked them both into bed.  She used his chest as a pillow as he wrapped both his arms around her.  “I love you Briony.  We’re going to get through this together.”

“I love you too.  And I know we will,” she said, looking up at him.

He gave her a quick kiss.  “I don’t know what you’re feeling right now, and I know I won’t be able to understand, but you’re allowed to feel whatever you want,” he said.  “I know that she was your mom, but she was a horrible mom, so there’s gonna be, like, a range of emotions.  But you’re allowed to feel it all.  Don’t think you’re not.”

“I’ll be okay, Mo,” she said, giving him another quick kiss before relaxing her head on his chest.  He ran his fingers through her hair soothingly, reducing all the stiffness and pent up emotion she had in her.  She knew he would try to stay awake as long as possible, just in case she said anything or wanted to talk about it further, but after a while, she felt his heartbeat steady, and she knew he was asleep.

***

Bee had slept all of twenty minutes at most.  When she looked over at the alarm clock and it read 3am, she sighed heavily.  She didn’t know what to do.  She wanted to sleep, she really did, but every time she closed her eyes and her mind started to drift, an image from her childhood would reappear, and she’d snap her eyes open and be wide awake again.  Images of her mom passed out on the couch when she got home from school; of sitting at the kitchen table doing homework, watching her mom open another bottle on the kitchen counter; of looking up at her mom sleeping on the bed in the homeless shelter while she was sleeping on the floor using her backpack as a pillow.  

Slowly but surely, she manoeuvred herself out of Morgan’s grasp, sitting on the edge of the bed for a while, staring out the window into the pristine darkness of the West Vancouver sky.  Her mother was dead.  She always knew she would have to say that one day, but she didn’t imagine it being so soon.  A small part of her actually thought she wouldn’t have to say that one day, because nobody would contact her to tell her, so she wouldn’t know at all.  But she knew now, and she couldn’t get it out of her head.  

After coming to terms with the fact that she wouldn’t be able to sleep, she thought going to the kitchen and grabbing a glass of water was a better alternative to looking out of a window into darkness.  She tip-toed quietly down the stairs and made her way there, grabbing a glass and trying to figure out how to work the built-in icemaker on the Rielly’s new fridge that looked like it belonged in space rather than a house.  When she couldn’t figure it out, she resorted to just getting water from the tap and drinking it warm.  

“Are you okay?” Bee suddenly heard a voice whisper.  She jumped dramatically, turning around to see Andy standing at the entrance of the kitchen in his pajamas with a bathrobe on.

“Oh God.  I’m sorry.  You scared me,” her hand went over her heart.  

“Why are you apologizing?” he asked, laughing a bit.  “You thirsty?”

“Uh, yeah…” she said, looking down at the glass of tap water in her hand.  “I couldn’t figure out how to use your space fridge to get ice though.”

Andy snorted.  “Maybe we should go back to using ice trays,” he laughed, pulling open the fridge door to get out the orange juice.  He grabbed a glass and set it down on the table, pulling out a chair.  “Sit, honey.”

Bee didn’t want to say no.  There was no reason she could have, anyway, so she took the invitation and sat in a seat opposite of him as he poured orange juice into his cup.  She watched as he took a long gulp, swallowing almost half of the juice he just poured, before he focused his attention back to her.  “Was everything okay after dinner?”

Bee tried to look away from him but she couldn’t.  He was staring right at her and she was sitting across from him and there was no way in hell she could deny him an answer.  The only thing she could do was prolong it.  “Why do you ask?”

Andy shuffled a bit in his seat.  “Listen.  I don’t mean to pry,” he said, starting the conversation the exact same way Morgan did.  God, now she really knew where he got it from.  “Shirley and I just noticed a little bit of a…shift when you came back.  I just want to make sure everything is okay.”

She decided to just come right out with it.  “How much has Morgan told you about my mom?”

Andy looked taken aback by the question.  It wasn’t like she was trying to call his bluff or anything – she knew Morgan had told his parents about it, as evident from the conversation she had with Shirley on their first day here – but she wondered if he talked about it more with his mom, or if Shirley told Andy.  His answer was important because it determined how she would start and handle the conversation.  “Morgan’s told me about her addiction issues.  How she was an alcoholic,” he clarified.  “A pretty severe one, it seemed.  And how you guys moved around a lot because of it.”

Bee nodded her head.  “Well, that phone call at dinner was from a police officer named Greg Campbell.  He called to let me know my mom passed away.  She was found dead in a homeless shelter due to cirrhosis of the liver.”

Andy stayed quiet.  It wasn’t a lot of information to take in, but it was a stab in the heart nonetheless.  Over the past few days he’d been able to see how happy she made his son, and it was something he loved to see.  To hear that she had gotten a phone call like that, on her last night of what was supposed to be a vacation, was horrible.  “I’m very sorry to hear that,” he said solemnly.

“And that’s the thing – I’m not,” she admitted for the first time out loud.  “I know…I know that sounds harsh and rude and completely…inhuman, but I’m not sad about it.  I’m not sorry.”

“Why not?”

“I can’t be sorry for someone that never acted like a real mother,” she said gingerly.  She ran the risk of exposing her entire heart and soul to her boyfriend’s father over the kitchen table at three o’clock in the morning, but right now, she didn’t care.  “She was never loving.  She was never caring.  She never did anything to prove herself worthy of the title of being called mom.  She cared more about herself and her addiction than she ever did me.”

“That’s understandable --”

“Plus,” she inadvertently interrupted him, “she never worked to make herself better.  I can’t feel sad for a person that caused me so much pain in my life, regardless of whether or not she was my mother.  She never acted like it.  And after not seeing her for almost seven years, I don’t even feel a connection to her anymore.  Quite frankly, even when I was living with her, I hardly did.”

“I get it, Briony.  I get it as much as I can get it,” he said.  She was thankful he acknowledged that he could never truly know.  “I know how much pain she caused you and I know she didn’t make your life easy.  You don’t have to feel sympathy or sadness.  She doesn’t deserve that from you and I get it.  But you have to be feeling something.”

Bee was scared to reveal what she was really feeling.  She knew if she verbalized it, if she put it out in the open, that it would become real.  It would no longer just be something she felt internally, something she could lie about to people’s faces to make them think she was fine.  “I feel…I feel relief,” she finally admitted, to herself and to Andy.  A stray tear fell down her cheek, and she wiped it away quickly.  One tear was too many to shed.  “I feel like I giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders.  I feel like it’s finally…over.  That I can move on.  I don’t have to think about her anymore.  I won’t toss and turn at night thinking about what has happened to me.  I won’t lie awake thinking about what she could be doing or who she could be with or what she could have been up to these seven years, if the alcoholism got worse, if she got into anything else.  I just…I don’t have to think about it anymore.  It’s done.  It’s done.”

Andy moved his chair so he was closer to her before putting a comforting hand on her forearm.  “It’s okay to feel that way.”

“Is it?”

“Yes.  Absolutely,” he said firmly, nodding his head.  “You have every right to feel that way and it is one hundred percent validated by what you went through, and don’t let anybody try to convince you otherwise.  She was an awful mother, and you separated yourself and got out of that situation as quickly as you could, and if anybody needs to be commended in this situation, it’s you.”

“There was one time…” she began, shaking her head to herself, wondering if she should even tell him the story.  The only other person she’d told was Angie – she hadn’t even told Morgan.  “There was one time, I must have been 11 or 12.  I was so angry at her one day.  We had no food in the apartment, nothing – I had been eating saltine crackers for dinner for at least four days.  She was standing at the kitchen counter opening another bottle of vodka she’d bought instead.  And I was so angry.  I asked her, ‘Why are you like this?’  And she looked at me – she didn’t even bother answering the question – she just looked at me and said, ‘You’re staring into your future, Bee.  It’s inevitable.  What I am is what you will be.’  And I told her that hell would freeze over before I became a degenerate like her.  And she grabbed…” Bee paused, remembering the moment so vividly in her mind, as if it had just happened yesterday, even going so far as to pretend to grab a glass with her hand for emphasis, “she grabbed the glass that was on the counter, and she hurled it straight towards my head.  I ducked, and it hit the fridge behind me and shattered all over the floor by my feet.  We stared at each other for a few seconds before I said, ‘I hate you with every fibre of my being’.  She didn’t even respond.  She didn’t even grab another glass either, she just took the bottle straight to the couch and began to swig it.”

It was clear Andy was uncomfortable.  To think that a parent could ever do that to a child was incomprehensible to him – it was incomprehensible to most people, not just him.  And yet, she had to live through it.  He quickly wiped a tear that had fallen onto his cheek.  “You were born for a life so much better than what you were placed in,” his voice was soft, still reflecting and picturing the scene she had painted for him in his mind.  

“That’s what I left behind.  That’s the weight that’s been lifted off my shoulders.  I don’t have to think about that anymore.”

“Did it ever happen again?  Did your mother ever hit you?” Andy asked.  

Bee shook her head vehemently.  “She was always too drunk.  It was more so emotional, if we’re referring to abuse.  And, you know, neglect.”

“You deserved so much better.  No child should have had to go through that,” he said, shaking his head.  “I’m so happy you found us Briony.  I’m so happy that you overcame that and you’re here with us now.”

“Thanks, Andy.”

“There’s no reason to thank me.  You did it all yourself.  I’m just thankful that you’re part of our family now.”

A sob escaped her at his last comment.  She couldn’t hold it in anymore, and she let go, letting the tears well up in her eyes despite telling herself she wouldn’t cry.  She didn’t want to shed tears over her mother, but she could shed tears over Andy saying something like that to her.  “You have no idea,” she said, shaking her head.  “You have no idea how amazing these last few days have been.  I’ve never felt so whole in my entire life.”

“I know sweetheart.  I can tell.”

“I can’t even begin to, like…” she couldn’t find the right words as she wiped her tears with the back of her hand.  “I immediately felt this sense of like, warmness from the moment I met Morgan.  He made me feel like I wasn’t alone anymore.  That I had somebody.  He’s been so good to me, Andy.  So patient.  You have to know how good he’s been.  So understanding.  You have to know you raised a good kid.”

“I know, sweetheart.  Morgan adores you.”

“And then this week happened and you and Shirley and Connor have just been so nice and I…I know it’s sad to say but the only other people I’ve felt that with is my best friend’s family.  But you guys are just so good, and I’ve had to pinch myself constantly this entire week.”

“I --”

“I don’t know what I did to deserve that comment you just made, about being part of your family.  I don’t…I don’t know.  But I love Morgan so much, and I know he loves me, and I know I’m gonna spend the rest of my life thanking my lucky stars that all this happened.  And you have to know, you have to know, if hockey ended tomorrow I’d still love him with everything I have in me because he makes me feel so whole --”

“Sweetheart, sweetheart, I know,” Andy stressed, grabbing hold of her hands and squeezing them tightly as she let out a quick ‘I’m not in it for that’.  “I know.  You don’t have to prove yourself to me.  I can see it.  Shirley and I – we can see it.”

“I just don’t want you to think --”

“I was never thinking that at all,” Andy shook his head.  “You’re the farthest thing from what you’re implying and I know how much you care about my son.”  He let go of her hands so she could wipe her remaining tears away.  “Listen to me.  You are deserving of every little good thing that comes your way, via my son or otherwise.  You can’t feel like you don’t deserve it.  Everybody deserves good things to happen to them.”  Bee nodded her head at his words, trying to internalize them as much as possible.  “You’re a great girl Briony, and you deserve the world.  Everybody around you sees it.  You just need to start seeing it too.”

Bee took a couple of minutes to calm down.  She knew that everything Andy had just said was right, and she needed that time to really take it in.  To accept it and own it and live with it as her new life mantra was going to be a separate battle, but right now, she needed to acknowledge the deeply intense heart-to-heart she’d just had, and how she felt much more clear about things – about her future – than she had coming into the conversation.  “Thank you for listening, Andy.”

He smiled.  “There’s no reason to thank me.  This is what dads are for, Briony.”

“I’m sorry if I --”

“Don’t apologize for a single thing,” he said.  “You just remember what I told you.  That’s the only thing you need to do here.  Remember that you are deserving of love.”

“Is everything okay?” Morgan’s voice, groggy and sleepy, was suddenly heard form the entrance of the kitchen.  He stood in his pajamas, taking in the scene before him.  

“Briony and I were just thirsty,” Andy said quickly, giving Bee a quick wink before getting up and putting his glass in the sink.  “She couldn’t work our space fridge to get ice, either.”

“We should go back to using ice trays,” Morgan quipped.  Briony couldn’t help but laugh – he and his father were truly the same person.  She walked towards him, a small smile creeping on her face.  He hoped that in his state, he wouldn’t notice that she had been crying, or that her eyes were red from the tears.  “You okay?” he whispered.  

“Yeah.  Let’s go back to bed,” she said, looking back at Andy.  “Thanks again, Andy.”

“Anytime, sweetheart,” he smiled as they disappeared down the hallway.

When they got back into bed, Bee cuddled closer to Morgan, draping her arm over his torso so she could feel the warmth of his body heat against hers.  “You sure everything is okay?” he whispered.

She nodded her head.  “Yeah.  Andy’s a really good dad,” was all she could say.

“He’s the best,” Morgan agreed, his eyes fluttering closed.  “He’s who I want to be.”

“You’re already there, baby,” she whispered before they both fell asleep.