#Mainly the early parts- The two start ti make up and be good friends again near yhe end of the game

[wayfinderships]

Panchi/D.imitri my beloveds <3 one of these days I'll draw them together

[leejeongz]

fluffy a-z SUNGHOON (enhypen)

requested: yes, by anon

🔅the comeback!!???!!!?! amazing. i just had to write this today i just HAD TO. this is really long but nevertheless i hope you enjoy🔅

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

he loves holding your hand even at the most random times. if you seem anxious or upset, his hand slowly creeps closer to yours, just to remind you that he’s there. he’s not a fan of pda, but holding your hand is just fine :D. (taken from my enha as boyfriends post)

he messes up your hair (but only when he knows it’s okay to do so, he knows his place lol) when you do something silly or cute. he also does it when he’s first introducing you to people too. he’ll be all like “this is y/n, my gf/bf/partner” and then ruffle your hair, just to once again show them that you’re his.

similarly, he loves when you play with his hair. he’ll purposely rest in head in your lap so that your hands naturally fall to his hair. sometimes, he accidentally drifts off to sleep like that and then wakes up a few minutes later all smiley hehe.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

you don’t have the chance to meet up a lot, most of your contact is via text since he doesn’t have the time to call you all day, every day. he’s super supportive of you, he’s your wingman, your hype man and your parent all in one. he looks out for you as much as possible and (even if you’re not younger than him) he treats you like his younger sibling.

there’s always a lot of laughter when you two are together that stems from the assortment of inside jokes that you share. you can talk for hours despite neither of you being the talkative type (mainly about other people lmao.)

as a pair, you’re often misunderstood. people never associate you with each other but you just know that you don’t always need to be with each other to still be the closest of friends. when you are together, you’re an intimidating duo that people often avoid through fear, but you’re actually really nice 🥺😔

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

he uses cuddles as a way to distract you and/or annoy you. can and will be the big spoon every time you cuddle. he loves cuddling with you, holding you or just touching you, he’s just shy okay. he loves having you in his arms and holding you, especially when he knows you’ve chosen to cuddle with him over doing something important. cuddling with him just makes him want to cuddle all day :((. so if you start cuddling at 10am, except to still be in his arms at 7pm. more so than cuddling, he likes draping his legs over you “to irritate you” (he just wants to be close to you hehe). it makes him feel like he’s protecting you without it being too hot and stuffy and oppressive.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

there’s no time frame for him when it comes to settling down. he wants to settle down but there’s no deadline for him. he’s not actively looking for the love of his life at any point, he’s never going to force himself to be in love just for the sake of creating family. he thinks about settling down a lot, he wants a pet with the person he loves for sure, he’s excited for that day to come, but it doesn’t have to happen soon.

cleaning, he’s fabulous at. the house or apartment is minimalistic anyway, so things that are out of place are easy for him to spot and move. he almost enjoys doing chores with you even, just because he’s spending time with you. when it comes to cooking,,, like sure he’s confident which is so sweet but that doesn’t always mean a good meal. but please don’t tell him that else he’ll get really sad and disappointed in himself.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

if he was to break up with you, it would probably be a “right person wrong time” kinda thing. he wouldn’t get into a relationship if he didn’t see a future with that person, he’s very picky to find the perfect person for him. you’re definitely the right person, but he’s just too busy right now being an idol. he feels guilty for not spending time with you and so he wants to let you live you life, without being tied down so early on. he’d hope that you’d wait for him, but he’d understand it if you didn’t.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

commitment is a big part of the relationship for him. he would want commitment from day one, even if he's not officially your boyfriend yet.

he doesn’t care when you get married, but he definitely wants to get married someday. he likes the idea of dedicating one whole day to celebrating your love for each other, and sharing that with friends and family too. it would quite literally be the best day of his life. he’d propose to you pretty quickly into the relationship, but at a time that felt right. you both knew it was something that you wanted, that you dreamed your relationship would last forever, so why not propose?! he doesn’t mind eating years for the wedding though, it’s a big deal and everything has to be perfect.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

emotionally, he acts quite tough. he doesn’t want to be seen as weak, but at the same time he wants to show his emotions to let you know that’s he’s mature, and that emotions aren’t a sign of weakness. he often keeps really troubling things to himself until he can tell you and you only. you’re the only person who knows him truly, you know everything about him because he’s only willing to share this stuff with you. when it comes to things in your relationship, he also isn’t afraid to speak his mind. he’s not trying to be gentle or tough with his emotions when it comes to you, everything seems like a natural reaction, he’ll cry when he wants to and he’ll be stubborn when he wants to.

physically, of course, he’s very gentle. every touch feels like feathers, every kiss, every hug, every smile, it’s all just very soft and gentle. you notice that he talks to you differently too. his tone with others appears harsher and more blunt than with you. with you, it’s like he’s talking to a baby (in a non- condescending way ofc he’s very mature and you’re not allowed to forget that)

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

when he’s congratulating you on something, when he’s proud of you for something, he hugs you. it’s better for him to communicate using hugs rather than telling you because he’s a little shy saying it, even though he means it.

he likes when you rest your head by his neck, while his arms are holding you close. he kisses where your ear is through your hair or your head while you’re hugging and (when he manages to finally say it) whispers a little “i love you”. it’s a tight hug, but it doesn’t last long. when you pull away, he reaches out to hold your hand, he doesn’t want to separate just yet.

if you initiate the hug, he laughs and grunts and lot just to tease you, but don’t be fooled he’s really happy that you are hugging him!!!

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

oh you pair beat around the bush a whole lot. it’s pretty much unspoken for the first year or so. although you never said it to each other, you both knew.

it wasn’t until sunghoon had left you for a little bit while he went on tour (not left as in broke up, just went out of the country lmao idk how to write that in a coherent sentence big sorry) that you realised that you should probably say it. he returned home and it was on that day that you told him you loved him while nestled against his chest in a satisfying hug after such a long time apart. he said it back straight away, looking down at you and waiting expectedly for your lips to meet with his.

he was always waiting for you to say it first, there were moments when he thought he should just say it, but he wanted to wait, he wanted to hear you say it.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

he gets jealous quite quickly and he always makes you aware of his jealousy no matter how petty the situation may be. he wouldn’t try to hide it, or compromise with you, he wants you all to himself so if there’s even a chance that another boy could possibly be flirting with you, he’ll be mad.

that being said, he’d definitely voice his opinions in a mature and well thought through manner. he would think of how to say things to make you understand where he’s coming from without trying to guilt trip you into unfriending that person, he doesn't want to be THAT guy. he’ll just explain his side and wait to hear your response, and often times it turns into a sarcastic, inside joke which reassures him a lot. he’s just like “fine, go to the cafe with him, but he wouldn’t know which smoothie you like best, would he?!”

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

him initiating kisses? few and far between. but when he does, you know he means it. he loves all types of kisses, he just wants to cover you in kisses sometimes, but he’s gotta keep up his image of course. pecks on the lips and longer, more passionate kisses are his favourites though, he just can’t get enough of your lips. (taken from my enha as boyfriends post)

as i mentioned in the hugging part, he likes to kiss your head or place a kiss where he thinks your ear is while hugging. it sends a rush though the both of you, it just really makes you both think about how lucky you are to have each other.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

a little awkward at first. he’s not sure how to talk to them, and every time he speaks the kids are just like ”??” because he says things that are a little too mature for them.

it will take him some time to be comfortable and confident around the kids, but he wants to be liked by them and he wants them to be happy so he will not give up until that happens.

although, it does have to be said, he’d much rather have a pet than a kid 😳

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

usually, sunghoon wakes up before you. he gets up before you wake up too, and sits and stares at the wall with a blank mind, just to wake himself up a bit. once you get up, he’s gonna ask if you wanna go back to bed again and cuddle and/or watch some tv together when he has a day off. if you agree, he’d bring some toast with him for you both to eat. but if not, you’d just grab some cereal together and eat while sat around your dining table in silence because he does not want to talk first thing in the morning (valid,,, extremely valid)

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

sunghoon is a big fan of evening dates as opposed to going somewhere during the day. everywhere is quieter and this is usually his free time so you have him all to yourself, you can do whatever you want together. as much as he enjoys going to fancy restaurants, bars and what not (which usually take you into the late hours of the night), he’d still rather spend some time at home with you.

on those nights that he can spend at home with you, he likes to just rest with you. chilling on the sofa just watching some episodes of your favourite show, ordering a takeaway. you share your thoughts about the show and that’s all you really talk about while it’s on, but afterwards you talk about your day and head to bed, where you cuddle until you both fall asleep (which is pretty quickly since you stayed up late to watch more tv)

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

like anyone, he overshares when you first start dating due to nerves. you learn a lot about him through this and he’s actually pretty grateful that you do the same thing. you pretty much know everything about him before actually getting into a relationship. throughout the relationship, he’d never try to hide his feelings about certain things and would be pretty hurt if you used things that he’d told you against him.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

with you, he doesn’t get that angry. you’d have to do something really vile for him to show actual aggression and disappointment. with other people, it’s not so simple. he finds a lot of things that other people do irritating but he wouldn’t show his anger there and then. he’s more likely to go home and get angry there. he’d appreciate someone to talk to about it, a shoulder to cry on perhaps. definitely an angry crier (cries when he’s angry) and likes to slam doors to make a point.

he’s not afraid of confrontation when something that someone did is actually wrong. he will stand up for what he believes in and it’s worth putting a friendship on the line given their opposing opinions.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

this bitch acts SO dumb when you ask him stuff but he knows… he knows everything. everything you’ve ever said is stored in his brain, probably written in his notes app as a back up. he’s ready to spring this knowledge on you at any point. he knows exactly what you like and what you dislike, important dates, about your childhood, he even remembers how certain things he did made you feel, so he could do them more or avoid them in the future. but of course, if you ask him, he knows nothing.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

you weren’t even together officially at this point, but when he turned up at your place on prom night. he’ll never forget how stunned he was when he saw you looking all glamorous that evening. you had some photos taken as a pair, egged on by your friends of course because you’d never normally do that, and he looks at them a lot. he can’t help but think how great you look as a couple (and how you two are going to look on wedding photos 🥺). he had a rose prepared for you, a white one because he knew it would go with your outfit, whatever colour it was and also because of its symbolism. he really wanted to confess when he handed it to you, but he over thought it a lot and the moment ended up passing too quickly. that’s his favourite memory. something that he’ll never forget.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

i know i said he got jealous a lot, but he’d distance himself when it actually came to it. he’d be jealous in his own space until you two were alone rather than being protective while the act that made him feel that way was ongoing. as i mentioned above, he does indeed want you all to himself, but he’d hate to cause unnecessary drama and have you lose friends over a silly misunderstanding.

if you were clearly very uncomfortable around someone, he’d be there with an arm wrapped around you. you’d both like to think that his presence alone is intimidating enough, but sometimes he has to resort to harsh one liners to get them to back off.

i don’t think he’d ever get into a physical fight. it’s not that you’re not worth it, but he just feels it would make the situation worse.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

he really wants to put a lot of effort into your dates, but he finds it difficult because one, he has no time and two, he doesn’t want to disappoint you/organise something you end up hating. most dates are spontaneous and on a whim, but also like… planned in both of your minds. like you know you want to go and you know he wants to go, but it’s not confirmed that it will actually happen until the time of the date if that makes sense. when it comes to it, he gets really shy asking you out on dates, so you’ve kind of just started to read each other’s minds lmao.

he never forgets your birthday or your anniversary. he makes a big deal out of your anniversary because it’s a celebration of you both, he wants to make you feel special and will do everything he can to do so. you pair make your own traditions when it comes to days like that, and he looks forward to them a lot. your birthday is pretty much left down to you (other than his gift for you of course). he doesn’t want to do a poor job of planning anything for your special day so he just leaves it and hopes that you do something instead, if you wanted a party you should have organised it. he would help you plan it thought, anything you want he’d do for you.

his gifts are always things that you like. things that you can treasure and things that you can display and show off are his go to. jewellery is a common gift that you receive from him and every single piece that he’s picked out is so delicate and beautiful.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

when you pair are out with mutual friends, he likes to tease you. sometimes he takes it too far without realising it, the atmosphere becomes tense and he becomes even more awkward and wants to leave the situation just to apologise to you but realises it will probably make everything 10 times more awkward.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

he’s a handsome teenager surrounded by other pretty people of course he’s gonna have some concerns about how he looks. actually i don’t think concerns would be the right word. he’s very confident in his appearance, why wouldn’t he be, but he also thinks that everyone else should be too, everyone is attractive in their own way. in reality, he’s very humble about how handsome he is despite constantly flexing his visuals lmao.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

you do a lot for him, not just as in help him out with cooking or whatever, but his mental state. you’ve allowed him to mature a lot and he’s become more emotionally intelligent with you.

he’d hate to think of how his life would be if he wasn’t with you, he wouldn’t be the same person at all.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

one of the first dates you went on was to build a bear, it was his idea surprisingly (he wanted to see which animal/character you picked out, okay?!) you stuffed each other’s teddies and returned them to each other in time to name them. you named yours sunghoon first, he followed by naming his y/n. you both sleep with them on the bed and hug them tightly when you’re not together :( (but your never tell each other that’s what you do lol)

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

people who are all up in his face. just back off, yeah? chill out for a second. he gets that you’re excited, and he wouldn’t want to bring you down, but you don’t need to get up in his grill. personal space is a big one for him. if you don’t respect that, then he’s not gonna have any time for you.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

the prettiest sleeper on the planet. his lips are slightly separated and his eyelashes often flutter as if he’s about to wake up, but it’s actually just a sign of him having a really pleasant dream.

[bbrandy2002]

Fool’s Rush In

Chapter 18

Pairing: Liam x Riley

Book: TRR AU

Warnings: Language, crude talk, and the usual bad writing.

I had planned from the beginning to end this series after the next chapter and an epilogue, but call me crazy, I love it too much. So while this part of the story will end, I still plan to update with one-shots or stories from time to time. If you’re just done with it, let me know.

Also, this chapter felt a little off to me, so I apologize if it's terrible, but I think I ended on a good note.

Thanks @burnsoslow for prereading.and usage of your girl, who finally got to make her debut.

---------------------------------

"Damn it, Riley! Pick up!" Liam grumbled as he lowered the cell phone from his ear and tossed it in the seat beside him. The royal jet had been in the air for a little over four hours already, and he'd grown frustrated at getting her voice mail each time. Surely, she was home by now. 

Even though it was the middle of the night in Las Vegas, it was worth interrupting her. He had tried unsuccessfully to contact Riley since he packed his bags earlier and hastily headed for the airstrip. By this point, there must have been a dozen or so messages left on her phone without so much as a hint she'd gotten them. 

While time wasn't an issue -- he'd get to Las Vegas one way or the other -- it was the desperation to hear from his new wife and tell her he knew precisely why she left. 

And that he loved her.

Tilting his head back against the headrest, he swiveled side-to-side in his luxury chair while tightly clutching his freshly poured scotch. The security footage he watched earlier that morning replayed in his mind again. There were no doubts about what it showed: Madeleine confronted Riley outside their quarters just minutes after leaving the ball. Without sound, however, no one could ascertain specifically what was said among the two women. It was clear though,  Riley was not a willing participant in that conversation. When they saw the disk held up in the Countess' hands, and the look of sheer horror on his pussycat's face, that told Liam all he needed to know. This was a blackmail situation, plain and simple, that included assault; those flowers he found scattered on the ground when he returned to his quarters last night all made sense now. This act was deliberate and treasonous, and Liam would ensure his ex-fiancee paid handsomely for it. 

After they viewed the footage several more times, the Royal Guard was immediately summoned to Krona to find Madeleine and take her into custody. Liam knew it was a long shot whether his guards could pull that sting off, but he was working with what he had at the moment.

Despite whatever happened next, there was one thing the King was confident of: He was prepared to give up his entire Kingdom to get his girl back. Returning to Cordonia without her was not an option.

Shaking his tumbler of partially melted ice cubes, Liam leaned forward and steadily poured another bottle of scotch into his glass. As soon as he sat back and raised the fresh beverage to his lips, he was startled by the ringing of his cell phone. In a rush to answer, he hastily set the drink aside and snatched his phone up from where he tossed it earlier. 

"Hello! Love?" He answered, hopeful it was her.

"Hey, little brother. Love you too ... Say, do you know if the palace has a Spanish tickler or a breast ripper? Asking for a friend."

Liam furrowed his brows in confusion before rising from his seat, plopping a knee down on its cushioned bottom, and glancing to the back of the plane. "Leo? Why are you calling me? We're on the same damn plane. I'm looking right at you."

"Nevermind that. Listen, I figured out a way to take care of Madeleine once and for all. Behold ..." Leo held up a leather-bound book and waved it over his head while Liam squinted from the front of the plane to get a better look. "... The King Constantine Guide To Fucking Torture In The 21st Century; Father gave it to me after my investiture ceremony. The way I see it, there really is no other option here than to tie her to a tree in front of the palace, invite the public to watch for a modest fee, and do some cool shit with iron rods and spikes. I got dibs on the knee-splitter, though."

"Leo ..." Liam began to warn his brother how ridiculous that plan was before stopping himself and staring off into the distance for a moment in thought. "Wait ... is there anything about flaying in that book?"

"Hell yeah there is! And if you're interested in thumbscrews, my buddy, Pete, has a trunk full of them. He uses them for ass play, but I'm sure he wouldn't mind letting us borrow them to split Maddie's thumbs in half." Leo let out a maniacal laugh.

Liam chuckled, despite the peculiarity of the conversation. "I'm not going to lie and tell you I'm not interested -- to the contrary, actually. And while I appreciate your help in seeing that Madeleine is brought to justice, I think we better stick to more lawful means."

"Boo, you whore!" The line went dead with a click. 

Liam held the phone away from his ear, watching Leo sink down into his chair in a huff. "Really?" He called back in agitation. Met with the silent treatment and a middle finger from his disgruntled brother, Liam rolled his eyes, then slumped back down into his seat. Maybe he'd try to call Riley again.

-------------

The phone on Riley's nightstand buzzed again. She knew it was another call from Liam, and while she felt remorseful for ignoring all of his calls and texts, she couldn't bring herself to look at or answer them quite yet. The sooner all ties between them were broken, she believed, the quicker he could forget all about her and the mess she made of everything. 

But even her willpower was slipping. Riley slid her hand out from under the pillow and reached over to pick up her phone. Holding it to her chest, she contemplated for a second just reading his texts and returning his calls, but Madeleine had warned to end all contact with him. Obviously, she was curious about what he had to say, but it was too risky. I'm so sorry, Liam. 

Hitting the power button on her cell, the light on the device faded to black before she tossed it in the nightstand drawer.

Early the next morning, Riley's eyes flickered open to the sound of a banging on her front door, followed by the incessant ringing of her doorbell. Feeling exhausted from a lack of sleep, mainly because of crying and unable to think about anything other than how she hurt Liam, Riley decided to ignore it. She just wanted to be left alone, and eventually, they'd give up and leave, right?

Except they didn't.

Annoyed, she let out a sigh and then eased herself up out of bed; the pain in her back was still a problem. Tossing a robe over her body, she slowly made her way down the stairs of her townhome -- each step excruciating -- until she finally made it to the door.

Twisting the lock, she opened the entry door, before letting out a sudden gasp at the tearful person standing on the other side. 

"Oh my God, Riley! Y-You're alive! You're really alive!"

"Alyssa?" Riley's best friend from New York pulled her into a relieved hug, nearly sobbing at that point. "What're you doing here?"

"I thought something terrible happened to you, but now that I can see you're still among the living ..." she sniffled before pulling back and narrowing her blazing blue eyes at her friend. "Where have you been? I've been trying to get ahold of you ever since you texted me that you were boarding a plane in Cordonia, and that something serious happened involving Tyler. You promised me you'd call as soon as you landed--"

"I know. I'm so sorry. It was late ..."

 " -- and you didn't. Then I worried, even more, when you didn't answer any of my calls back. I had to book the first red-eye flight here to make sure you were all right." Finished with her rant, a huffing Alyssa's jaw immediately clenched. "Now, what did that shithead ex of yours do? I'll kill him if he hurt you, Ri. I might be small, but I'm scrappy like an alleycat. You know I'll claw his eyes out."

Riley let out a light chuckle; Alyssa was always overprotective of her and had a clever way with words, but quickly, that chuckle faded into a teary frown. "Oh, Lyss," she whimpered as her face fell into her hands.

Alyssa quickly wrapped her arms around Riley and pulled her into a warm embrace. "Aww, Riley. Sweetie, it's going to be okay," she soothed. 

Stepping inside, Alyssa kicked the door shut and led them both over to the sofa. Sensing Riley was in pain -- and not just emotional -- she helped lower her troubled best friend onto the couch. "I want you to start from the beginning and tell me everything that happened."

The best friends had remained in contact over the last several weeks. It was Alyssa's frantic morning phone call over a month ago that alerted Riley to the news coverage of her impromptu marriage to Liam, having saw it on the news. 

And while Alyssa was aware of everything about Cordonia and Liam, and how Riley fit into all that from their prior conversations, she listened intently while it was revealed to her the details of the incident with Madeleine and the video her ex-husband gave to the Countess.  

Grabbing a tissue from the end table, Alyssa handed it to Riley. "So this cow confronted you with that disgusting video and basically blackmailed you into leaving, or she would release it to the press?" Riley nodded somberly.."Ugh, I want this treasonous bitch thrown in the dungeon, subjected to live-streamed daily anal fistings with giant Hulk gloves ... And Tyler, I want to break every bone in his rotten body, one at a time. And I want to leave him there afterwards, dripping just enough water on his lips, so he doesn't die of dehydration, screaming in agony for the weeks it will take to die of starvation."

 Riley's face scrunched up. "God, Alyssa."

Alyssa shrugged. "What? I don't care; it's what they deserve for hurting you. Did you at least tell Liam what happened?"

This time, Riley shook her head. "No. Madeleine warned me if I told him, she would release the video, and then the council would likely force him to step down. I won't allow him to lose everything for someone like me." 

Irritated, Alyssa pressed a palm to her forehead. "Why are you like this?"

"Like, what?" Riley asked in exasperation.

"That whole, 'someone like me,' part. He wanted to stay married to you. He made you the queen of his country. You've said he couldn't keep his goddamn hands off you for two seconds. And more importantly, you told me you have never felt more loved in your life, than you do when you're with him. The fact that you still question your worthiness to him blows my mind." 

Alyssa reached for Riley's shaky hand, able to tell by the tears sliding down her cheeks and the soft whimpers that she'd touched on something. "You're his pussycat, Riley. Liam already lost everything when you left him. Tell me you know that."

Riley wiped at her face., her voice stifled, "I just wanted to protect him."

"I know." Alyssa smiled softly. "But you needed to give him the chance to decide what he wanted. You made it for him because you know he'd choose you, regardless if he lost everything else; that's how much he loves you, Ri. You can't protect someone who loves you by hurting them. Besides, he's the King; he can simply execute the council if he wants to -- Liam’s not going anywhere."

"You just HAD to add that last part in, didn't you?" Riley laughed, feeling a sense of ease as her mood lightened. It felt good to talk to someone who could help her make sense of everything and realize she hadn’t exactly made the best call by leaving and not telling Liam what happened. "But what do I do about this video? What if Madeleine releases it to the public?"

"Yeah, a video of a married woman having sex with her husband -- Oh, the shame!" she retorted. "Look, you'll be famous on Pornhub for a few weeks, and it'll fizzle out. I know that doesn't make it all better, but you have a lot of people who love you ... we'll be there for you if that happens. Besides, it's Gonzo Dick; I doubt anyone will wanna watch anyway."

Riley snorted out at the nickname she gave her ex-husband. "Stop making me laugh." 

Alyssa cracked a grin. "Nah. If I can make you laugh at that asshole's expense and his crooked dick, then it's worth it."

"Well,” she breathed, “ I suppose I should get dressed and call Liam. Tell him what happened, and hopefully, he'll … forgive .." her voice trailed off at tasting an increasing collection of bile in her throat and a familiar rumble in her stomach. 

“What’s wrong?”

Riley frowned. "Damn it, why do I keep getting sick?"  

After rushing to the bathroom with Alyssa's help, Riley came out moments later, flushed and perspiring. Alyssa, who waited outside the door to make sure she was all right, eyed her friend with grave concern. "Ri, are you sure you don't have a concussion? You said that Madeleine caused you to fall, and you complained you’ve been getting sick a lot. Is there any chance you hit your head too?"

Riley considered for a moment before shaking her head. "I don't think so. I mean, it all happened so fast I don't really remember, but my head doesn't hurt."

"OH NO! You have memory loss too, on top of the vomiting and a hurt back? Riley, you need to go to the hospital now. This is serious."

"Alyssa, I'm fine. I don't need to go to the hospital," Riley dismissed and hobbled past her friend toward the kitchen. "You always worry too much."

Alyssa followed behind her, brows bumped together in a scowl. "Because you're a stubborn ass who never listens, that's why. You need to get checked out," she insisted. Riley paid no attention as made her way to the fridge; that reaction only served to piss Alyssa off. "You can ignore me all you want, but you know as well as I do, I'll just keep annoying the hell out of you until you do it … I'll sing every Dave Matthews song ever written -- On repeat." 

Riley shut the fridge door and turned at the threat, giving her a dismayed glare. "You wouldn't." 

Alyssa tilted her chin. "You know damn well I would. I have... so much to say, so much to say, so much --"

"Please stop! I'm going."

---------

At Valley Hospital and Medical Center, Drake sat slumped down in the waiting room of the E.R;  a thawed ice pack covered his crotch. His increasingly irritated self caught sight of a nurse escorting yet another patient back for examination. "You've got to be fucking kidding me."

Tired of waiting, he cast the ice pack aside and marched straddle-legged to the triage desk where a beefy nurse with a scowl sat filing her nails. "How much longer is this gonna take?" He demanded bitterly.

The nurse remained focused on her nails and answered in a careless fashion. "You'll get called back when it's your turn, Mr. Walker."

"My turn? MY TURN? I've been here for 15 fucking hours waiting for my turn. I've watched one person after the next walk right in, get treated, and leave. Whose ass do I actually have to lick to get treatment around here?"

Unimpressed with his theatrics, she folded her arms on the desk and looked up at Drake with a glower. "Look. You got kicked in the wang by a hooker. Shit happens. It's not the end of the world. Go home, have a beer, and a good laugh. You'll live." She resumed her filing.

Drake ran both hands through his rumpled hair, letting out a sardonic laugh. "I cannot fucking believe you just said that to me. I suffer trauma on my transplanted dick, and the greatest healthcare minds in the world tell me to have a beer and laugh about it?" his voice shrieked.

The nurse blew on her nails. "That's what I said."

That snarky remark sent him even further over the edge. A red-faced Drake pounded two white-knuckled fists on the desk and leaned down into her space. "Now you listen here, lady. I demand to be seen right now, or so help me, I'll tear this whole goddamn place apart brick-by-fucking-brick! Do you understand me?"

Having none of that, the nurse, who was several inches taller than a startled Drake expected, sprung for her chair and loomed over him menacingly. Drake flinched when she rammed the nail file at him and threatened, "Now, you listen.You can either sit your ass down, or I will sit you down. Do you understand me?"

He didn't understand. He would never understand.

A security guard who heard the commotion casually approached the agitated pair and placed a firm hold on Drake's elbow. "Do we have a problem here, Betty Lou?"

She shook her head, sizing Drake up. "No, just some whiny-ass Karen griping about his dick."

---------------

Several moments later, Alyssa and Riley exited an Uber and wandered into the waiting area, making their way up to the triage line -- or what they thought was a line. It was actually Drake still standing there, continuing to protest his case to anyone who would listen and demanding to speak to someone in charge.

While Riley dug through her purse to retrieve her health insurance card, Alyssa couldn't help but be taken in by the fiery debacle taking place in front of them. She inched a little closer, unable to help herself; it was good drama and sucked her right in. 

Catching a glimpse of Drake’s sour face, she cocked her head introspectively; there was something oddly familiar about the man in the denim shirt going off. Alyssa tapped her chin. Where have I seen him before?  

Before long, the realization set in, and her eyes snapped wide open. She nudged Riley with an elbow and leaned over, whispering, "Hey, isn't that the guy from the news who had the penis transplant? It looks just like him."

Knowing precisely who that was by the description, Riley popped her head up to look. She hadn't known Drake well, only that he was Liam's best friend, and after having spent time together on the plane ride to Cordonia with him, that her maid-of-honor had given him several venereal diseases. "Drake?" she called out.

While Alyssa zoned in on his groin, curious as to what was in there, Drake broke away from the dispute and turned his focus toward the familiar-sounding voice. She was a connection to home and a long-sought-after friendly face. "Riley? Liam's insta-bride, Riley?" 

She let out a light chuckle and nodded. "Yeah, I suppose that's how you would know me ... What are you doing at the hospital? Is your body rejecting the ..." Her embarrassed gaze dropped lower with a gulp. " ... thing?"

"No!" he barked. "I just got attacked by that ... uh, someone."

"You got attacked?" Shocked, Riley placed a hand over her chest. "Why would someone attack you? Are you okay?"

Feeling incensed by the memory, Drake shook his head and muttered. "It's a long story ... What about you? What are you doing here? Thought you were in Cordonia with Liam?"

She inhaled a deep breath through her nostrils and forced a smile. "It's a long story too."

Drake peeked over his shoulder at Nurse Ratchet, giving him a gimlet-eyed stare from behind her computer screen. He groused and turned to face Riley again. "I've got time."

----------------

Nearly 12 hours after takeoff, the royal jet touched down in sunny Las Vegas, an hour ahead of schedule. Liam and Leo stepped off the plane and strolled across the tarmac to the awaiting vehicle, where a smiling man held the rear passenger door open.

"Bastien," Liam greeted as he approached. "Good to see you again."

"Your Majesty." He bowed. "Likewise ... I have the rental car you requested, and the Queen's address is already programmed into the GPS. Should take no more than 30 minutes to get there."

"Perfect,” he replied, clapping Bastien’s shoulder.“Thanks for having everything ready to go."

Liam had contacted the head guard -- who was still jailed for non-support -- and gained him a day-long pass to provide security detail. Bastien was also to stay in contact with his guards to oversee the capture and detainment of Madeleine.

Bastien took their bags, and the brothers hopped into the back of the Escalade. Once they pulled away from the airport, the directions led the group west. The head guard glanced briefly in the rearview mirror as he drove on. “I want to thank you for giving me a second chance. It’s nice to be out of that place, even if just for the day.”

Liam smiled back. “Not a problem, good man. I can’t think of anyone else I trust more for the job than you … though I’m not sure why. Anyway, do you have any updates on the Madeleine situation?”

“Yes, sir. I contacted my colleagues again just before you arrived. Countess Madeleine was taken by surprise when our guards arrived at her family estate in Krona. Once in custody, she was immediately transported to Valtoria for detention, exactly as you requested.”

"That's terrific news ... Wait ...Did you say, Valtoria?" Liam asked with puzzlement in his tone. 

"Yes, sir. As you requested." 

"Man, please tell me Mads tried to fight them off, and they had to use the taser on her," Leo insisted as he held his crossed fingers in the air. "A billy club ... a rubber hose ... something."

"There may have been a brief verbal exchange and some threats, but the Countess promised if they permitted access to her computer to send a quick email, she would go with them peacefully and without further protest. There didn't seem to be any harm in doing so, and she followed through with her word. Sorry to break it to you, Prince Leo, but no tasers were harmed in her capture."

"Well, fiddle shit." Leo glanced over at his brother --who was still scratching his head -- in disappointment. "If only I'd been able to get that shock collar on her while I was engaged to her, you wouldn't be in this mess right now. She just squirmed too much. I’m sorry I let you down, little brother."

"It's fine, Leo; it's not the first time,”  Liam said dryly before turning his head away from Leo to face the front again. "Can we get back to Madeleine being taken to Valtoria? I never requested that. An accused of the Crown is always placed in the palace dungeon. There aren't even cells in Valtoria to hold her in. What am I missing here?"

Approaching a stoplight, Bastien lightly pressed the brakes, then met Liam’s gaze in the mirror. “The orders I was given to pass along to the guards from you earlier were clear in your text: Once she’s taken into custody, she is to be sent to Valtoria and placed in the cage with the monkey until further notice. That’s what they --”

“Mongo! They put her in the cage with Mongo?” Liam exploded before pinching the bridge of his nose, knowing there was no point in asking how that message got mixed up. “Goddamn it, Leo! Why are you, you, sometimes?” He ran a swift hand down his face and turned to glare at his brother. “Do you realize they consider that cruel and unusual punishment? Did you ever stop to consider how much shit I'm going to hear over this if this gets out?" He let out a sharp breath and threw his hands in the air."How? How did you do it?"

"It's simple pimple, Liam. When you went to the bathroom, I grabbed your phone," he replied bluntly with a shrug. "And according to page 24 of Father's torture book: It's not considered cruel and unusual punishment, as long as she has food, water, and clean shelter -- which she does. Or ... if she's housed with a member of the royal family -- which she is. Mongo is the heir to the throne, so we've got that covered too. So just relax, little bro; Leo’s got it all taken care of for you."

Liam dropped his chin to his chest, then let out a weary breath. “Bastien, call the guards and have them move her to the palace at once.” 

As Bastien placed the call, Liam shifted in his seat so that he was staring out the window. He put a palm over his mouth to conceal the curved lips that formed a devilish grin, trying to contain the unbearable urge to bust out laughing. Oh, Maddie ... I hope you and Mongo had one hell of a time together.

----------------

Back at the hospital, Riley situated herself on the gurney while a nurse prepared to check her vitals and ask general health questions. 

In the next bay over, separated by a thin sliding curtain, Drake was finally attended to after Riley reluctantly, but willfully, played up her celebrity status. Once she threatened to have the hospital shut down -- which she doubted was even possible on her end -- the proverbial red carpet was rolled out for both of them; she was still a queen, afterall. 

Steps were then taken to ensure they both received the royal treatment, so to speak. That wasn’t typically how Riley preferred to handle situations; she hated big fusses over her. But in the end, she did help one of Liam’s oldest friends finally get the medical attention he needed, so it was worth trying. 

The blood pressure cuff on Riley’s arm squeezed tighter just as one of the doctors stepped inside and slid the curtain all the way closed. His cheerful greeting drew Riley's fixed gaze away from the changing numbers on the monitor beside her bed, and she smiled up at him.

The doctor was tall and thin, with thick spectacles perched near the tip of his nose. He gave a brief nod to Alyssa, who was sitting in a chair at Riley’s bedside, rubbing her shoulder. Scanning the patient chart, he spoke without looking up, "Queen Riley, it says here you suffered a fall?"

"I'm just Riley,  please," she requested.

The doctor looked up from the paperwork and nodded with an understanding smile. "Of course." 

After the initial exam concluded, Alyssa remained behind after the doctor ordered x-rays and transport had wheeled Riley down to radiology. 

Bouncing her crossed leg as she scrolled through her phone, Alyssa tried to bide her time until Riley returned. An air conditioning vent overhead that she didn’t realize drowned out so much noise around her, suddenly flipped off. Able to catch the conversation on the other side of the curtain better, she listened with a broken heart as Drake reluctantly described to an attending, the worst days of his life. Alyssa shuddered as he recalled the moment his penis fell off, rolled across the bed, and dropped onto Ethan Ramsey’s leather shoe during an exam. “That poor man. I just want to hug him,” she muttered.

Her little ears perked when the doctor mentioned he was “going to have a look at it.” In her curious mind, there were no doubts that she was too. This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to take a peek at the first transplant of its kind; no way was she going to miss out on that. 

Alyssa slid to the edge of her seat and raised her hand to up to the curtain, easing a tiny portion of it aside. Her blue eyes crinkled with frustration at a nurse who was blocking her view. “Move your ass,” she whispered to herself.

Unable to get a good view, she gave up that spot and eyed the other opening in the curtain at the far end of the room. Sliding off her chair to a crouching position on the floor, Alyssa crab-walked as fast as she could without falling off balance until she made it to the other side. Crooking a stealthy finger along the seam of the curtain, she hoped and prayed Drake’s genital exam wasn’t through yet. What her eyes saw on that gurney when she pulled the fabric aside caused her heart to jolt out of her chest. 

Alyssa cupped a hand over her gaping mouth before stepping back and letting the curtain fall loosely shut again.  Dropping her hand limply at her side, staring blankly at nothing, she mouthed, “Oh. My. God.”

----------------

Down in the radiology department, Riley sat patiently in her wheelchair, waiting for the tech to return to take the x-rays. Enjoying the lighter feeling of having an empty bladder again, she let out a contented sigh; she was about to bust earlier. That mandatory urine sample couldn’t have come at a more opportune time. 

Left alone to ruminate in her thoughts, Riley wondered about those phone calls she ignored last night from Liam. The regret she felt over her actions the last 26 hours continued to mount up. And it took a heart-to-heart with her best friend to really put things into perspective. Her decisions weren’t the best course to take, even if they were done with the most loving of intentions. 

There was a lot to make up to Liam, and she only hoped that it wasn’t too late. Could he even forgive her for all of it?

She wished he was there with her right now. If she knew him the way she thought she did, he’d be standing around telling inappropriate jokes to make her laugh or embarrass her with his silly antics. It was like Liam could be two different people sometimes: Kingly and stoic around everyone else, but the second it was just him alone with her, he was such a big kid. Somehow, she could bring out his true self; the one where he felt comfortable enough to be silly and playful. And as much as she tried to play them off, those little pet names he gave her -- she chuckled to herself as they popped into her head -- were funny. What the hell even was a knucklehead mcspazzatron? 

“Miss Brooks” Riley shook herself of her thoughts as the x-ray tech returned and made her way over. “I apologize that took so long.”

Riley smiled up at her. “No need to apologize… Are you ready for me now?”

“Not exactly,” she teased in such a cheery tone, Riley slightly lowered her eyelids, holding her gaze. “You most likely won’t be getting x-rays today, sweetie.” She held a fisted hand out to Riley and opened her palm to reveal the small object inside. “You’re pregnant.”

--------------------

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[sinner-as-saint]

Power Over Me - 4.

Bucky Barnes x Reader AU

Previous Parts

Run-through: CEO James Buchanan Barnes is a dominant. And he’s spent the last 5 years searching for his perfect submissive. Then one night, he finds you. He thinks everything will fall perfectly into place now; but he thought wrong. Turns out your unfortunate past which still haunts you to this day, and some of his enemies are, well, connected. Things go wrong. And your bond with your dom is tested in many ways…

Themes throughout the series: dom/sub dynamic, smut, dirty talk, angst, fluff, soft dom!bucky

a/n: this one’s a little long… just a little.

You were a quick learner, Bucky noted.

You were quick in learning his ways, his rules. Mainly because you loved everything about him, and everything which surrounded him. But also, you wanted so desperately to leave the past behind and forget it. And fill your head with much, much better memories. Memories you made with Bucky.

Throughout your first weeks of living together, you and Bucky had quite a few serious talks, and open and honest discussions in his study. You took decisions regarding your relationship together, it was much healthier than anything you’ve had in the past.

You two made a few alterations here and there, regarding his rules. Such as, you genuinely like making meals, so you settled on him being absolutely okay with you cooking at least once a day. He honestly didn’t mind, he just never wanted you to feel like you had to do anything for him.

To which you responded, “I never feel like I have to do it. I truly just want to, think of it as my way of giving back to you for treating me with respect and care, and affection. And for being a shoulder I can lean on, and a friend when I need you to be, and everything else you do for me.” You hoped he could read in between the lines.

Because to you, he was so much more than you put in words. Bucky smiled and approached you, cupping your face in his hands without thinking twice. He stared into your eyes. A deep, long, meaningful stare. Do you have any idea what you do to me? He almost blurred the lines and bend his own rules as he had felt the burning need to lean in and kiss you.

But then he realized that you two were in his study. This area was strictly used for mature, and serious conversation. And he would like to respect that. So he pulled away that day, gently, reluctantly.

 -

Bucky would usually wake up and find you either in your bed, or in the kitchen already – on days when you felt like making breakfast.

One morning he found you in the kitchen, all dressed up, not in your PJs surprisingly. He found you making food and walked up to you and wrapped his arms around you. And as he kissed your neck, like he did almost every morning, he found that you weren’t wearing your collar.

Oh?

He pulled away quickly. You felt his hesitation so you turned back around and gave him a proper good morning kiss. You could feel his confusion.

“Remember I said I applied for a job at the publishing company?” you tried to freshen up his memory. Bucky nodded, remembering. “Well, they called yesterday evening to tell me that they accepted my application. And I start today.” You said and waited for his reaction.

His face lit up. “That’s great, baby! See I told you there was nothing to be nervous about.” He leaned in to kiss your forehead. “I’m so proud of you.” he let his lips linger on your face while his arms wrapped around you. “But why didn’t you tell me yesterday?” he sounded pouty again.

You sighed, looking up at him. “Well, you were stressed out and tired from work, and then we…” you trailed off remembering how last night went…

How as soon as Bucky walked in through the door, he lazily made his way into your arms and gave you a bone-crushing hug and almost shifted all his weight on you. How with just one kiss, you knew what he mean. Playroom, now.  

You remembered how he had taken his time and tied you to the bed again, and how you laid spread eagle all for him to use however he liked. You thought about how he kissed every inch of your body, and how he turned you into a moaning mess just with his kisses. How he had teased you with the fur flogger again, then with the suede one until you cried out in pleasure. Pleasure which blended in so perfectly with the sweet pain.

You remembered how he sat on the dark red couch like it were his throne and how you sat on the floor, on your knees, pleasuring him like you had the night you first met. You remembered his grunts and growls and how he moaned, “Fuck… slow down baby, let me feel you.” he said, with his head thrown back, hands in your hair as he forced your mouth to a stop, lips wrapped around him, his pre cum trickling down your throat…

And how he had taken you hard and relentlessly afterwards; fucking you mercilessly and stretching you out, ramming his cock in and out of you all while calling you his “precious little pearl.” How he had wrapped his hand around your throat gently, kissed your forehead and growled in your ear, “You’re all fucking mine. You hear me?”

And how gentle and loving he had been afterwards, giving you back rubs and massaging your feet and shoulders and telling you how much of a good girl you’ve been to him. And how he tucked you in and played with your hair until you fell asleep.

Bucky’s voice broke you out of your reverie.

He chuckled. “Ah yes, you mean when we didn’t get the chance to talk about each other’s day because I was busy making you scream in my playroom?” he teased. His words made you look down and smile shyly. Your face felt hot all of a sudden. He laughed, “Look at me, angel.”

You looked up and met his ocean blue eyes. The ones you longed to see at the end of the day, the ones which calmed you down, the ones which connected with you in ways no other could.

Bucky spoke up, grabbing your chin between his fingers. “Tell me things. Even when I’m tired, or stressed out or grumpy, I want to talk to you and hear about your day. I want you to share every little thing with me, it makes me happy. Okay, baby?”

You nodded. “Yes, sir.”

He smiled, and pulled you in for a hug. “I’m so proud of you.” he repeated. And it made you feel all warm and tingly inside.

 -

You thought initially that once you began working, it would somehow affect the amount of time or the relationship you had with Bucky. But that wasn’t the case at all. Bucky made a sort of a plan; each day, he dropped you off to your work building on his way to his office. And he’d pick you up on his way back home.

Once home, the first thing you did was put your collar on and then went about the rest of the evening, with Bucky’s interruption here and there – he’d catch you in the shower sometimes, or in the kitchen because most days you liked to make dinner, which then resulted in him calling you sweet nicknames and fucking you against the wall, followed by you two having to have to either eat cold dinner or order food because the food either, got cold or burnt while you were busy.

When you began your job at the publishing company, which you loved, other little alterations were made in the set of rules Bucky had. Bucky pushed breakfast on weekends to 10 a.m. because he wanted you to sleep in and get as much rest as possible after a week’s work.

And it was his favorite thing because each Saturday and Sunday he’d sneak into your room early in the morning and spend some hours just cuddling, and spooning you and touching and fondling for some hours before breakfast time – which you two usually made together.

 However one Sunday morning, he walked into your room to a pleasant surprise. He tiptoed into your room, feeling all excited and warm looking forward to cuddling you and give you a thousand kisses. But the sight in front of him made all his blood rush downwards.

You were on your bed, eyes closed, covers thrown off your body, with your hand in between your legs. Your underwear was off, your shirt bunched you at your chest, freeing your breasts. Soft moans escaped your lips as one finger of yours slipped inside your entrance. Bucky noticed you were dripping.

He believed you must have just woken up because you seemed unaware of his presence. Must be still a little sleepy and hazy. But you sure were horny, because you caught Bucky by surprise and his jaw dropped in awe as you slipped another finger past your entrance. Then followed by another. You moaned and arched your back off the bed as you fingered yourself shamelessly right in front of Bucky.

He was torn between being extremely displeased by your borderline disobedience and wanting to just drag you into his playroom like he did just the previous night, and being extremely turned on by the wanton sight in front of him and wanting to punish you in the best way possible in your own bed. Only you, babygirl, can put me in such a delicious dilemma.  

Bucky chose to observe for a little while longer, because frankly it was hard to look away. You whined in need and frustration as the palm of your hand rubbed against your sensitive clit over and over again while your fingers slipped in and out of you. Your fingers stretched you out but in no way quite like Bucky did.

And oh did you crave him, his touch… especially after the dream you just woke up from.

You moaned quietly under your breath, imagining it was him who was touching you instead. “Fuck… sir, please…” you mumbled in the haze that you were in, completely unaware that Bucky was at the side of your bed, watching you intently. You whined, slipping your fingers in and out of your wet hole rapidly. Your own touch took you higher…and higher… and you were on the edge; right on the edge when you heard a voice speak up.

“So this is how it is, huh?” his velvety, deep morning voice said.

Oh no…

Your eyes flew open, burning still with sleep. You gasped as soon as you saw Bucky standing beside your bed, staring down at you with a smirk. Looking at you like you were a meal. You tried to rapidly remove your hand away from your wet folds but Bucky was quick to stop you. He knelt in your bed, loomed above your semi-naked frame, smirking and holding your hand in place. “Answer me.” He asked, now serious all of a sudden.

You didn’t miss the look of mischief and playfulness in his eyes as he quickly glanced down at your neck and saw that you were wearing his collar. It looked no different than an expensive diamond choker in the dim morning light. He loved the sight of it on your body.

Mine. His inner voice screamed.

“I… I’m sorry, sir.” You gave him your best puppy dog look and spoke sheepishly. You were embarrassed, but there was also the thrill of him catching you in such a salacious action which coursed through your veins like electricity. The look in his eyes made you shiver.

He didn’t say a word as he brought your hand closer to his mouth. He didn’t hesitate in parting his lips and allowing your soaked fingers into his mouth. His warm, wet tongue swirled and licked around your slick coated fingers, and you almost moaned as he did when he so shamelessly tasted you.

He closed his eyes briefly, relishing the taste of you as you watched him with your own lips parted. Breathless already, and all he was doing was sucking your drenched fingers. “Hmm,” he moaned as he pulled your fingers out of his mouth, releasing them with a pop sound.

He looked down at your almost bare body. He didn’t think twice before cupping your dripping core. “Who owns this pretty little cunt, huh?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper. His voice sounded stern, but his words were laced with nothing but lust and hunger.

You didn’t answer. So he pulled hand back and shamelessly slapped your throbbing core. You yelped, in surprise, pain and pleasure.

“I asked you something. Who owns it?” he asked again, clenching his teeth and growling by the end of his question. Was this the same man who washed your hair and called you ‘baby’ in the bath? You were borderline surprised and borderline turned on.

“You do.” you answered in a whisper.

He smirked again. “Then how dare you touch yourself without my permission?” he asked, his velvety voice, his words sending a pleasant chill down your spine. Which then did nothing for the growing sweet pain in your lower regions.

You got quiet again, and lowered your eyes to where he cupped you again.

“Look at me,” he ordered. “You are mine. All of you belongs to me, alright? You leave me no choice but to add another rule to your list, baby. From now on, you are not allowed to touch yourself, unless I ask you to.”

He spoke, grabbing both your wrists and pinning them down on the bed, above your head as he straddled your waist. His weight pressing on you gently was much more pleasurable than you expected it would be. “Understood?” he asked.

You nodded quickly. “Yes, sir.”

He continued. “I don’t care if it’s in the middle of the night, or fucking four in the morning. You come to me whenever you need something.” He gave you a stare which meant, keep your hands there, and you understood it perfectly.

He slid down your body just a little to free your legs from under him. He spread your legs further apart and settled in between them. He looked you dead in the eyes as his knuckles lazily stroked up and down your slit.

“Touching yourself without my permission.” He lifted his hand away and smack down right on your clit. You gasped loudly, not expecting it. “Pleasuring yourself while I’m not in the room.” Smack. You whined, squirming and wanting nothing more than to just grab his hair and place his mouth on your body. “Misbehaving in secrecy.” Another slap right on your throbbing clit. You couldn’t help but moan out loud. “Thinking I wouldn’t find out, huh?”

“Sir… I’m sorry.” You whined, closing your eyes and throwing your head back; unable to handle his intense gaze.

He chuckled. “Sorry? Oh baby, you will be.” You could hear the smirk and the mischief in his voice. He wasn’t necessarily pissed off, he was just glad that he found an excuse to toy with your body however he pleased so early in the morning. “You wanted to cum so badly, didn’t you?” he said, sounding pouty and bummed out for a moment, clearly mocking you.

Then he chuckled, rather sinisterly. “Well, you’re going to do just that.” he smacked your thigh to get your attention again. You opened your eyes quickly and found him staring down at you. You were still a little confused about what his words meant. He caught the confusion and shame and embarrassment in your eyes. Oh my babygirl… he almost gave in, but then caught himself before he slipped.

No, disobedience are to be followed by consequences. He spoke, “I’m going to make you cum hard, and incessantly until you are totally and utterly spent. You will be a whimpering, tear stained mess by the time I’m done with you. You hear me?”

You nodded, your heart racing in excitement. “Yes, sir.”

He was quick to add. “We’re not in the playroom, but your safe words still apply.” He reminded you. “Now, what color?” he asked.

“Green, sir.”

He smirked. Because oh boy were you in for a ride…

He left your thighs chafed thanks to his stubble, your body trembling and your mind a foggy mess that morning. He meant each and every word he uttered to you. You were indeed crying out in pleasure as he ate you out like there’s no tomorrow. He didn’t hold back, he never did. He was incessant, relentless. His tongue just slipping in and out of your folds, teasing your entrance. His mouth sucking and lapping up all that you gave him. He never stopped, no matter how hard you came.

“What color?” he asked about ten times. And your answer was just the same as the last, “Green, sir.” He’d smirk each time and go down on you again. You were sore, and you tried to scoot away from him a couple of times as the pleasure and the sensitivity got too much. But he wrapped his strong arms around you and pulled you closer to his mouth each time.

“I’m not done with you, yet.” He’d growl. “Now stay still, and this will teach you not to touch yourself without my permission again. Understood?” he’d seek to confirm again.

“Yes, sir.” You trembled in pleasure under him. Fuck…

Once he was satisfied with how much of a wanton mess he had turned you into, he finally pulled away to look down at your whimpering frame. The entire lower half of his face was drenched with your arousal, and he didn’t mind it one bit. He cupped you again, letting his fingers presses against your sensitive clit. You whined and bit your lip.

He spoke up again. “Tell me again, who owns this cunt?” he asked, in his no nonsense voice. Oh his words alone were enough to make you cum again, that’s how sensitive you were.

“You do, sir.” You whined.

He smiled, satisfied. “What color, baby?” he asked again.

“Green… please.” Your body was spent, but you still asked for more. He had a lazy smile on his face as he got rid of his sweatpants before climbing up your body again.

He pushed into you without another word. You were just how he expected, warm and wet and whining in need for him. You knew you wouldn’t last very long as his thick cock filled you to the brim. You were a moaning mess by the time he found a pleasurable pace at which he moved in and out of you with ease. Your arms instinctively wrapped around his broad shoulders and you clawed at his skin as he fucked you; hard and fast.

He moaned and swore and groaned as he pounded into you, each thrust deeper than the last. “You’re mine.” he mumbled against your neck, kissing the collar you had on in a haze. You threw your head back and moaned, tears escaping your closed eye lids at the pleasure became more and more overwhelming.

He nibbled on your neck, biting down hard the moment he felt himself getting closer and closer to his release. “Cum with me, baby. Come on…” he trailed off, moaning and pounding harder into you.

You came with a loud moan, he did too. He swore right in your ear as he came, filling you up. You could feel the soreness immediately, but you didn’t complain one bit. Once he got his breathing under control, he kissed your face a hundred times and wiped your tears away.

He turned to his side and pulled you into him, eventually pulling the covers over the both of your naked bodies. You were still trembling and teary. He kissed your forehead,

“I know, I know my sweet angel.” He kissed your lips. But you were too weak to respond to his kiss. You were, however, happily, a mess. “It’s okay, I’ve got you now. You did so well.” He wrapped his arms around you.

You snuggled up further into his side, moaning under your breath as you moved. “I’m sorry, sir.” You mumbled. He smiled, stroking your hair and down your back.

“I know, baby. I had to remind you that you belong to me and only me. You know now, don’t you?” he asked, kissing your forehead as you basked in his body heat.

You nodded, wrapping your own arm around his torso. His lips didn’t leave your skin as he calmed you down from the headspace you were in just minutes ago. Once you were finally down, he leaned in and gave you a deep, long, meaningful kiss.

“By the way, good morning, baby.” he whispered, pulling away from the kiss briefly. Your face got hot really fast again. Good morning indeed.

You didn’t respond, you just whined playfully and hid your face into his chest. He laughed and wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer to give a couple more kisses.

Well, that morning had given him the answer. Guess after just over a month of meeting you and living with you, he was sure that the feelings he had been nurturing for you were here to stay. And they were very much real.

I am, undeniably, falling for you baby. You make me the happiest I’ve ever been.

 -

As time went on, things between you and Bucky only got better and better.

He was understanding. And he had this ability of switching really flawlessly and really quickly into whatever you needed him to be. On days when you’d wear your collar, he’d be the most perfect dom one can ask for. While you were at work, even when not wearing his collar, he was the most caring man ever. Always calling, and texting and being persistent in taking you out for lunch each day.

You noticed him behaving differently at home than out in public. He was much more protective over you in front of other people.

Then at home, he was much more affectionate. Even clingy at times, but you never minded. You needed him as much as he needed you. You didn’t even realized the exact moment when you were finally able to leave the past back in the past. Memories of Thor did upset you, but they no longer tormented you like they used to.

That was major progress.

Bucky noticed changes too. How you were much more playful and lively with him. How you trusted him with everything, how he didn’t have to constantly coax you into trusting him anymore. You did so naturally, like it were a habit. You were a tad more open now, and he loved it. Bucky liked seeing that you knew you were safe and cared for with him. And he loved the mischievous side of you.

Especially when you pretended like the roles were reversed.

 You and Bucky were spending one lazy Saturday afternoon in your bedroom. Limbs sprawled and tangled with one another in your bed. You were catching up on some reading while Bucky was on the phone, having a lengthy, stressful discussions with one of his assistants about how an employee messed something up pretty bad.

Eventually he got off the phone and vented to you about it.

“Unbelievable these fucking idiots! They keep fucking up and think that apologizing makes it better. It fucking doesn’t. They have no idea how much fucking money their god damn mistakes costs me, do they? Fucking assholes! I swear to God, one of these days I will fucking-,”

You cut him off, and caught him by surprise. You faked the shocked expression on your face, acting like you were livid.

“James Buchanan Barnes!” you chided. “That was six swear words in one breath! You just earned yourself at least six spanks on the butt. Turn around.” You used some of his usual words to you, mimicking his tone.

Bucky chuckled, amused. “Baby, come on, I-,”

You cut him off again. “What’s that? You’re arguing? Fine, two spanks more. Now turn around.” You faked a stern voice. He laughed and sighed, giving in.

“Fine.” He sounded giggly.

He turned around and chuckled again as you straddled his legs and leaned down to kiss the back of his neck – like he always did to you. “Good boy. Now I want you to count for me.” You whispered in his ear, like he always did to you.

He nodded. You playfully smacked his clothed butt. “Use your words.”

He chuckled. “Yes, miss.”

You smirked. “Good boy.” You kissed the shell of his ear, and he felt a chill go down his spine. Oh this is unfamiliar. But so, so good.

You lowered his sweatpants and smacked his butt cheek through his underwear. And he fought back his laughter to count along with each spank. He tried so hard to play along and not laugh, but as soon as you spanked him one last time, he couldn’t hold back anymore.

He chuckled as you kissed your way up from his lower back to his neck again. “You did so good, baby. I’m so proud of you. No more swearing like that, you hear me?” you mimicked his ‘dom voice’ again, smirking and loving having him under you for a change.

“Yes miss. I won’t do it again, I promise.” He played along a while longer.

You giggled. “Good boy.”

And once you slid off him. He flipped the two of you around yet again, pinning you down on the bed under him again. “Had your fun, babygirl?” he asked, in that voice which could make you wet in one instant. You concluded you could never get used to it. His voice would always affect you the same way; make you weak in the knees with just a few words.

You smiled up at him. Another he loved now was that you could look him in the eyes without being shy and looking away every few seconds. He loved all the intimate moments when you two would just stare into each other’s eyes and communicate without having to speak at all. Like right now.

You giggled, circling your arms around his neck, urging him to lean in closer. “Oh very. You have a really nice butt.” You said, truthfully.

“Yeah?” Bucky was trying really hard not to laugh again. “Time to show you who’s really in control now, huh?” he began slipping his hand down your shorts but just then, the oven’s timer went off from the kitchen downstairs.

And Bucky gave you the funniest disappointed look ever, which sent you into another laughing fit.

“Oh well, would you look at that timing?” you jumped out of bed. “My pies are all done, come on.” You grabbed his hand and tugged him along as you made your way downstairs to the kitchen.

 Your pies were great, Bucky made sure you were careful when pulling the tray out and he was the first one to try it. And he hummed in appreciation, telling you you’re a great baker.

“I can’t thank you enough for letting me bake.” You took another bite. “You’re so much better than my previous master. He would never-,” you stopped talking the moment Bucky looked up from his plate with a stern look on his face.

Oh shit. Realization hit you brutally as you realized what you had just said. It was one of his rules – that you were to never mention Thor again, or call him ‘master’. Besides, it was straight up rude to compare Bucky to that man, Bucky didn’t deserve that.

You swallowed audibly as you waited for Bucky to speak up.

“Y/N?” he always called out to grab your full attention. You swallowed again, clearing your throat as you set your fork down.

“Yes, sir?”

“Playroom. Now.” he ordered. And you didn’t waste any time. You politely left the room, went upstairs and walked into the playroom. You got rid of your clothes and folded them nicely and placed them on the couch and waited by the bed.

Bucky walked in a few minutes after you. You were never scared usually. Even today you weren’t, but you were upset by the look of disappointment on his face. Oh crap. What had you done? Mr. Barnes was always nothing short of kind, and caring and loving towards you. But you just made him think that even now, you think about that brute all the time.

Or worse, now he thought that you always compared him to Thor even when you didn’t.

 Bucky kept his head down as he walked into the room. He wasn’t like this normally, he’d keep his head held high and walk in with power and authority dripping from his gait. But today, he was upset. And disappointed truly.

Was he not enough? Did you really always compare him to that excuse of a dom? Did Thor occupy your thoughts this much even now? After all this time? He thought.

Still, Bucky pushed aside all his emotions and decided to handle this situation like any other slip up from your part. His job was to correct your behavior and make sure you don’t repeat the same mistakes twice.

He cleared his throat once he approached you by the bed.

“You know why you’re here, Y/N?” he asked, his voice and demeanor a stark contrast to what it had been just minutes ago back in the kitchen and your bedroom before that.

You looked down at your feet. “Yes, sir.” You responded. I’m sorry, I know you’re disappointed in me. I didn’t mean it.

“Why?” as usual, he asked to make sure you know that he wasn’t being unfair, or using you for his own pleasure. You two were here for you, because of you.

You swallowed, trying to clear your throat. “Because I broke a promise I made to you, sir. I brought up Thor when I shouldn’t have. I was supposed to leave him in that past. And I didn’t.” You spoke, feeling even worse now that you worded it out loud.

“Right, Y/N. I want you on the bed.” he approached you, you kept your eyes on the dark wooden floor. “I won’t gag you today. I will blindfold you however.” He spoke, his voice void of any emotion. This was the least affectionate he had been in the past weeks. “You will not cum without my permission. I will try to push your limits moderately.” His voice made the hairs behind your neck rise up. Not in fear. In anything but.

He took a step back. “You may use your safe words whenever you feel the need to.” Then he added something which tugged at your heartstrings even if it shouldn’t. “And remember, use ‘winter’ to terminate everything.”

His voice was strict, and deep and clear. His was displeased, clearly. But that hurt. Winter…

No. No I don’t want this to end. I want you, please.

“I said, do you understand me, Y/N?” he asked, letting you know that he was having to repeat himself because you hadn’t been paying attention the first time.  

You tensed up just a little. “Yes, sir.”

 Something shifted in that playroom. You could tell Bucky was hurt. He didn’t talk as much, but he made sure to constantly ask you which color you were at. But other than that, nothing. He did let you know about his next actions and what he was about to do each time, given you were blindfolded. But other than that, nothing. He did give you the occasional ‘good girl’ but he sounded… hurt.

It got to a point where you zoned out, focusing on the hurt in his voice rather than your punishment.

He had you blindfolded. Tied to the bed, arms and legs tied to each bed post. He teased you with the fur flogger first, as usual – caring enough to ease you into it despite it being your punishment. Then the suede, he made you count till ten. Then he used the leather flogger, you concluded that it hurt slightly more than the rest.

He put down the flogger and you felt the bed dip on one side. Then you felt him close to you. “What color, Y/N?”

“Green, sir.” You responded.

He hummed under his breath. “I need you to relax your body for me. Don’t worry, trust me. I won’t hurt you.” he reassured you as you heard him shuffling around.

I know you won’t hurt me, but I did.

You waited for what was to come. You felt him move closer to your lower regions. Bucky kissed your hip bone. Once. Twice. You awaited the touch of his lips a third time, but instead you felt the wet, cold tip of something press against your puckered hole. You gasped and moaned the moment you felt it being pushed further into you; stretching you out pleasurably. You figured it was a plug, lathered in lube.  

You moaned the moment you felt Bucky kiss your lower belly again. “Don’t freak out, Y/N.” he paused, the plug halfway in. “What color?”

Oh please…  “Green.” You almost screamed it out. More. More please.

He pressed the plug further in you; the excess of the lube dripped down your skin, making you tremble and gasp at how cold it was and how good it felt. “Come on, take it all in like a good girl.” he urged you to keep still and let him push it in completely. You moaned when you felt the plug filling you up entirely.

Once it was snug inside you, Bucky got off the bed and stood beside it and watched you squirming. You’re breaking my heart, baby…

He reached for the riding crop, and gently smacked you on your thigh; making you yelp in surprise. You were not new to riding crops, but you were new to experiencing the riding crop and a plug at the same time.

“What color, Y/N?” he asked, then you noticed the change in his voice. He went from hurt, to teasing you again.

Oh…

Fuck… “Green, sir please.” You moaned as he smacked you right on your dripping, throbbing core. You gasped again, feeling hot all over as the tingles eventually faded into pleasure.

You heard him chuckle, then you felt a gentle smack, right on your clit. Oh… more please. You whimpered and whined; feeling your arousal flowing out of you incessantly.

“What’s one of the first things I told you, Y/N? Regarding that excuse of a man?” he was freshening up your memory. Smack. Smack. The riding crop came down rapidly twice on the same spot, on your inner thigh. You moaned.

You calmed your racing heart. “Never to talk about him, and leave him in the past because he was cruel and undeserving of me and my submission.” You answered, thankfully coherently.

“Hmm.” Another smack right on your wet folds. You whined, throwing your head back, tugging on the ropes which held you down and in place in the middle of the large bed. “And what did you do?” he asked again.

Oh fuck… “I… I spoke of him. I shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t have called him ‘master’, or compared you to him, in no way. Good or bad. Ever. I should’ve forgotten about him.” You replied, unsure if you made any sense.

He stopped, dropped the riding crop down and climbed into bed with you. He didn’t untie you, he simply undid the blindfold. And threw that carelessly away as well. You looked up to find him looking down into your eyes. Unmoving.

Oh how you missed looking into his ocean blue eyes…

“You’re not here because you compared me to him. Or simply because you called him ‘master’.” He clarified, his tone stern. “You’re here because you’re mine.” he said, much more gentle this time. He held your chin softly. “You’re mine. I’m your dom, I give you everything. But you still think of him.” Oh… he was hurt.

“I don’t think of h-,” you earned yourself a slap right in between your legs, which only made you moan louder.

“No arguing.” He chided you, less angrily than you expected. “You seem to be unable to forget than man, is that the case?” he asked, in that voice which could bring you to your knees any time, any place.

What? No.

“No, sir. That’s not the case, I promise.” You pleaded. He was so close, but he wasn’t touching you where you needed him the most.

He scoffed. “Promise…” he spoke like he was testing the word on his tongue, and didn’t like it. “You made a promise once, a while ago, to never think about or mention that man. But you broke your promise, didn’t you?” he lazily trailed his finger up and down your wet slit. “You think our promises don’t mean shit to me?” he asked, calm and collected but you could tell he was upset.

This was the first time he used a bad word when addressing to you, in and outside the playroom. Oh Bucky… I’m sorry.

“I’m sorry, sir.” You couldn’t help but apologize. You meant it.

“Are you?” for a moment, you saw the hurt in his eyes. Then it was quickly replaced with an emotion you couldn’t name. “Let’s see if you mean it.”

 He lowered his pants, and settled right in between your parted, tied up legs. He gave the plug a gentle push, making sure it’s still snug inside you. His brief touch sent electricity throughout your body.

“What color?”

“Green.”

 He wasted no time. His hand reached down and he pumped his cock, rubbing it all over your dripping core in the process. You squirmed and moaned when he did so; the tip of his cock rubbing up and down your wet lips, parting them as he circled your clit gently.

You shuddered under him; whining in need. Your body begging him to just take you already and make you his own. Please…please…please. You couldn’t even move, so you had to just stay there and endure his sweet torture.

Bucky pushed into you and sped up immediately. You were dripping so you welcomed him without any hesitation. He moved, rocking his hips against yours and his hand reached up to wrap around your neck gently. He stared into your eyes, speeding up into you again.

“Look at me,” he said, breathily. You did. “Tell me who’s fucking you this good, huh?” he waited for a reply.

You swallowed, whining. “You are, sir.”

He leaned in to kiss your open mouth, shamelessly shoving his tongue past your parted lips and stroking the inside of your mouth. “You’re mine. Do you hear me?” he spat in your mouth, earning a wanton moan out of you.

You didn’t respond as all you could focus on was the feeling of him and the plug deep inside you. Having not responded, you earned yourself a gentle smack on the cheek. “Answer me, Y/N?” he growled, keeping his hand around your throat.

“Yes, sir. I’m yours.” You managed to whisper back to him while he was balls deep in you.

He leaned into to give you a messy kiss again, pounding into you so deep that you got teary again. Not just because of the overwhelming pleasure, and the feeling of being stretched out so thoroughly. But because of all the emotions as well. Guilt, shame, love and affection for him… it was all too much.

“Sir… please.” You begged, not sure what for. Please fuck me harder? Please forgive me I didn’t mean to hurt you? Please believe me, no man makes me feel like you do and I care deeply for you?

He chuckled, slowing down just when you began whining louder. No…

“No, no. Bad girls who don’t abide by the rules and who break promises don’t get to cum so easily.” He was fighting his own need to just take you hard and fast and not stop until you both cum hard. But he had mastered control, so he slowed down easily to torture you more.

He didn’t pull out of you. He just stayed completely still. You whined and squirmed and moaned and begged. Oh you begged like you had never before. The plug, his cock, the emotions – it was a lot to handle all at once. You needed a release. You needed it badly.

Please…please…please… I’ll be good, I promise.

“Who owns you?” he asked again, wanting to make you say it despite knowing that your mind was a foggy mess.

“You do, sir.” You whimpered, your body hot and throbbing. Needy.

He chuckled again, kissing down your neck and nibbling around your breasts. He hummed, biting down on your skin, hard. He left behind a mark.

“And who fucks you so good that you almost lose your mind every time, huh?” he moved again, catching you by surprise by how deep he thrust in you.

“You do, sir…” You moaned again as he bit and licked the skin beneath your jaw, all while slamming into you relentlessly; stretching you out and pounding into you like his life depended on it. You didn’t realize when he had removed the plug. But fuck, even the void felt good.

You tugged on the ropes, moaning wantonly, knowing you couldn’t but desperately wanting to wrap your arms around him and hold him close as he took you higher… higher…

“You’re all fucking mine, and no one else’s. You hear me?” he growled. “Mine.”

I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m sorry, I didn’t want to hurt you. You didn’t know if you just said it mentally or verbally apologized as well.

You felt a pressure forming around your lower region, Bucky quickened his pace and pounded into you harder than before; the sounds of your skin slapping one another resonated around his playroom. You cried out in pleasure as your orgasm washed over you violently, without a warming.

Your walls clenching around his cock triggered his own orgasm. His thrust got deeper and lost their rhythm as he came right after you.

Your brain was foggy from then on. You remember bits and pieces. You remember him untying you rapidly. You remember letting go and letting him hold you. Cradling you in his arms like you were a baby. Baby…

“You’re okay, baby. You’re with me, now. I’m here.” He kissed your forehead. Or was it your lips. Did he say ‘I love you’?

Did you say you loved him back?

 Then you remember coming out of that headspace and realizing you were in the bathtub with him. Weird. This bathroom was different.

“We’re in my bathroom, baby.” he answered your question before you even asked. He took you to his bedroom after playtime?

You tried speaking but your body just felt sore. So you gave up and snuggled to the source of warmth closest to you – which was Bucky’s chest. Your head was tucked under his chin and you clung to him like a baby koala to a tree.

He ran a hand down your back, soothing you. While his other arm held you securely against his chest, your torso pressed to his. It took you a little while to reorient yourself. His loving words helped.

“You’re with me baby, don’t you worry about a thing. You’re okay, we’re okay. I’ve got you.” he repeated over and over again.

Once you recovered. Your eyes watered, just thinking back at what you did. It was unfair, to Bucky. Here he was, taking care of you and making your life better in every way. And there you were, back in the kitchen, casually comparing him to Thor like Bucky was nothing special.

“I’m sorry.” You apologized, sniffling and trying your hardest to hold back your tears. You noticed something different when you tried to swallow down the lump in your throat. Where’s your collar?

You pulled away from under his chin, looking at him in confusion and fear. Did he… take it back? He smiled at you and all your worries vanished.

“Don’t worry, angel. It’s right outside in my bedroom. You can wear it later.” He circled his arms around you. “Are you hurting?” he asked, leaning in for a brief kiss.

You blinked and two hot tears fell down your cheeks. He was quick to wipe them away. You could feel the heat radiating off him, and despite being surrounded in warm water, his body heat was your favorite warmth.

“I’m sorry.” You held back a sob.

He sighed, smiling again. “Hey, it’s over. You have nothing to apologize for, my little pearl.” He cooed, and leaned in to kiss your forehead.

He wasn’t taking you seriously, thinking you hadn’t stepped out of that headspace just yet. So you reached up and grabbed his face, pressing your lips to his. You kissed him deeply. He was surprised, but he kissed you back quickly. You pulled away gently after a few seconds.

“You’re not listening to me.” You said, in all seriousness. This wasn’t sub you talking to her dom, this was you talking to Bucky – the man who had taken over your entire heart.

He caught the seriousness in your voice. “Hey babe…” he was worried for a second. Had he overstepped a line? “I’m listening, go on.” He sat up straighter, with you still in his lap.

Babe…

“I’m sorry.” You finally looked up at him. His ocean blue eyes were soft, and he had a faint smile on his face. “You didn’t deserve that. What I said in the kitchen earlier, I shouldn’t have.”

He opened his mouth to oppose but you spoke up before he could. “It was wrong to even compare you to that animal. I did it so casually, without thinking. You don’t compare me to your past subs, you never even talk about them. And I never understood why.” you paused. “I do now.”

He looked at you, silently asking ‘why?’

You cupped his face in your hands. “Because be it good or bad, people from our past have no room here between us. They’re in the past for a reason. Now I’m here, with you. And that’s all that matters. My past doms, your past subs, they don’t belong here in our present anymore. They shouldn’t be.”

You kept going. “It’s not about, comparing you to him. It’s about him in general. Thor is my past, and from here on now, that’s where he’ll remain. He has no room here.” You were tearing up again. “You mean so much to me. I need you to know that. I know I don’t say it often, but you should know that. You’re the only one I want, and need.”

I love you. I’m sure of it now. I love you. You wanted to add, but didn’t.

Bucky’s lips parted. This was probably the most intimate, heartfelt thing anyone had ever told him. It took him a moment to process it all.

“Oh baby…” he pulled you in for a hug. You laid your head on his shoulder and cried. “Shh, hey calm down angel. I’ve got you. I’m so happy you finally got what I meant by that. I probably should’ve worded it a little better to begin with.” he calmed you down. “Baby, look at me.”

You pulled away and looked at him. He didn’t say anything, he just leaned in for a sweet kiss. And pulled away a few seconds later.

“You never asked me about that before?” he sounded much relieved that earlier. And he was.

“About what?” you questioned.

He took a breath. “About my past subs.”

Well, since you were pouring your hearts out today… “Is there anything you wish to tell me?” you asked, genuinely thinking you were ready for whatever he was about to tell you.

He smiled. Not his usual charming smile, but a sad one. “I wish to tell you why she left.”

Huh? You couldn’t understand why anyone wouldn’t want to spend the rest of their lives with Bucky. Your silence gave him a green light to continue.

“Her limits and mine weren’t compatible. We, weren’t compatible. Her tastes were… intense. And I couldn’t give her enough. Because certain things she preferred made me uncomfortable. And I was hesitant to even experiment.”

He paused. He was letting you see a side of him no one’s ever seen before. His vulnerable side. And he didn’t even know why he chose right here right now to pour his heart out. He looked up again, and stared into your eyes.

He continued. “So one day, she up and left. Telling me I was not good enough, and never will be.” You felt a weight on your chest at his words. “Telling me I wasn’t ‘dominant’ enough. And I was, and I quote, too soft and too cowardly to be a dom.” He paused. “End quote.” He smiled. That same, sad smile.

Oh…

He continued. “I sort of gave up after she left, thinking she might have been right. I was alone for years, I was incomplete. I didn’t want to change how I was either, because…” he trailed off, searching for the right thing to say. “Because that’s not me.” He sounded so vulnerable and he was aware. But he felt the need to tell you, there was no need to hide anything from you.

But then he looked into your eyes again, and his face lit up. “But then I found you.” He didn’t have to say anything else after that. You understood.

You leaned in for a hug. “Well,” you sniffled as you hugged him tightly. “She’s just mean. You’re perfect. More than perfect. You’re good to me. You’re caring, and loving and kind, and polite.” You pulled away and saw a genuine smile on his face. “You’re the best dom ever. And if it makes you feel any better, your voice alone makes me want to drop to my knees and serve you however you’d like.”

He chuckled. Then laughed and pulled you in for a kiss. “That makes me feel loads better.” He mumbled playfully against your mouth. You giggled and kissed him again.

 You two stayed in the bath until the water got cold. He helped you in stepping out of it, dried you with a towel, and wrapped you in a warm, fluffy robe.

“Stay with me tonight.” He said, once you stepped out of the bathroom and inside his bedroom.

“You mean, sleep in your bed?” you asked, just to confirm.

This was new. He nodded. “Please, baby?”

You smiled. “Sure.”

 You got in bed together, naked under the covers. You talked for a while longer, and laughed at each other’s terrible jokes. You talked about your work, and co-workers you don’t particularly like or find rude. And he talked about his work, and how he hates certain clients and stuck up business partners.

The conversation flowed effortlessly.

He held you against him, spooning you; he knew you were tired after playtime so he kissed and cuddled you until you fell asleep. He didn’t drift off to sleep right away though. He was up, thinking…

At some point he looked down and gave you a kiss on your forehead. Then he saw it, you had left your collar on the bedside table. Right now, in his arms, wasn’t just his sub. It was you.

Fuck. He realized. He was in love.

 -

Everything was going smoothly. Your relationship with Bucky was healthy, and satisfying to both of you. You had gotten comfortable with wearing his collar out, not for work but other places, and it filled him with pride and adoration when he saw you wearing it proudly out in public.

Things were great between you two. You learnt more and more about him. And him, you. There was never a time when you felt disrespected, or any less than an absolute priority to Bucky. Not even in his playroom, when he was controlling your very being and using your submission to please both of you.

You even caught yourself smiling at the thought of your very caring, very affectionate dominant throughout the day at work. And your heart constantly reminded you that you were falling for him, uncontrollably. How could you not? He was everything one can look for in a partner.

You could see your relationship with Bucky taking a beautiful, beautiful turn. He could see it too, even though neither of you commented on it. He just waited for the day he could finally tell you how he feels. And that day wasn’t too far.

After that day, after that talk in his bathtub, things changed. For the better. You hadn’t confessed to each other yet, but you two sure acted like lovers – not just dom and sub.

Things were great.

But, there was one problem.

Bucky had been safeguarding a secret since the day you first met. Since the day he brought you and welcomed you warmly into his home and his life. And one way or another, that secret would be out someday, he dreaded it – knowing it would break both you and him. Potentially breaking you apart for good.

And he didn’t know it would all happen so quickly. He didn’t know that one day, much sooner than he expected, the secret would be out so brutally that neither of you expected it.

[lafayetteworld]

Robin 2021

Okay, so it's been a while since I've been actively posting on tumblr, mainly because I haven’t had time. That being said, the commentary I am about to make on the Robin 2021 series is not meant to offend anyone and while I am particularly critical, I also acknowledge that some people genuinely like it/prefer the direction its's going in. And that's fine. But I did want to break down why I feel the current series is just 'meh' to me at the moment and it’s not necessarily because Damian is potentially being shipped with a newly introduced character.

Please be aware, that there are lots of spoilers. 

So, to start off, I am a big fan of the older Batman and Robin (2009) series, where Damian had partnered up first with Dick and later Bruce (2011). I do no think they are flawless, certainly. I think, in particular, the Nobody plot - excluding of course the interactions between Batman!Dick and Robin! Damian which are gold - was very good. In just a handful of issues, I think we were offered a great insight into Damian's character and how layered he is. 

My first thoughts when I heard about Robin 2021, based on the announcement: Damian will follow his own path, for some reason he retains the Robin moniker which is weird but okay, it does seem like something he'd do I suppose. He will participate in mortal kombat-sort-of-tournament, which will showcase his abilities and in the process, 'he will seek his own destiny' (which I believe was a line used in the actual announcement). The reason he wants to win? Initially, it appeared to be only because he wanted to prove to be the world's best fighter -- which by the way, how is only a tournament of this level only coming up now? Anyways, ignored that. Not a big deal. The idea of watching Damian fight different opponents was appealing either way.

The art of those comics is perhaps nowhere as striking/appealing as Robin 2021 and there's certainly not as many elements to it, but there was just something about it. I stopped reading comics after, for reasons I can't recall but I do remember finding out that Damian was killed off sometime after. I was super heartbroken over it but luckily I found out about it right around the time DC decided to bring him so really I had to wait a short while to see the little shit being Robin again.

I am not as familiar with the arc on Alfred's death but I know Damian watched what was basically his grandfather figure die in front of his eyes. How it was addressed after was rather poorly and that's a discussion for another time, just as it is that hot mess of Gleason's Titans.

 My hopes may have been too high in thinking we will be offered the introspection we'd seen in Batman and Robin, or him deciding what type of vigilante he wants to be. Like who remembers Damian admitting 'sometimes I don't know who I am or what I want' or him saying he does not wish to be like Nobody. That was so poignant.  

First issue of Robin 2021 was a disappointment. I know that there's a lot of damage to the character that had to be addressed but why did he die from like the beginning? Why is it the first thing we see is the author's OC defeat him? I mean, we really didn't need that to find the tournament's rules. Anyway, I was so sold on the art that I could have overlooked all that, except then the art became inconsistent so.....

Do I think Flatline's design is awesome? Yep. Do I like that she is potentially a badass female fighter? Sure. Do I like her abilities? Somewhat? They haven't been explored that much. But to me, having an OC appear out of nowhere and kill the character I was hoping to watch mature/develop is a bit underwhelming. Then, we start getting references of how poetic it is that Damian may fall in love with the first girl that kills him. I thought it was funny at the beginning but subsequent issues only seem to point that actually, the author does want to use Flatline/romance in this journey of growth that Damian is undergoing. I mean, we really shouldn't be romanticizing that she killed him? The girl is serious about winning too. That she caught him off guard is actually rather awesome but I don't think it had to mean anything more than Damian meeting a potentially dangerous fighter and that he needs to be less reckless.

Damian is a pretty complex/difficult character with a lot to figure out. Why does he need a girlfriend? Why can't he have friends that helps him grow or mentor figures? Him and Rose have such a great dynamic, for example.

I see a lot of people saying 'well, he's a teenager boy so it's normal'. Yeah of course it is. But why can't it be the opposite? Damian isn't a normal teenager. Out there, may be teenagers who feel the same. They don’t care about this stuff. 

It is so frustrating, and underwhelming. Not because there's anything wrong with Damian having a crush. Not because there's necessarily anything wrong with Flatline. But because there's no need.

Why is it just because he's a teenager he has to have a romantic interest? If romance is introduced in a plot, surely it doesn't have to be just because 'he's a teenager'. And if he does, why does it have to be an OC that hasn't been explored very well? Flatline could be a seriously cool character without needing to be a romantic interest for Damian and vice versa, Damian has so much to figure out on his own. So for me it's not the shipping that’s an issue, it’s the reasoning and how it may perpetuate clichés when there’s other angles that could be explored. 

Also, why the hell is Alfred used to drive Flatline's likeability? If Alfred is Damian's guilt manifesting, then that's actually Damian thinking that?

'I like this one, Master Damian.'

Seriously. I really hope we end up finding out that was tied in with Flatline's ability or something. So, Williamson won't explore Damian's guilt over Alfred but he'll give us a panel where Alfred (or a manifestation of him) is basically giving his thumbs up for his OC. That doesn’t sit well with me. Not so early in the series, anyway. 

Why is this whole manga thing keep coming back? Yes, Damian reads manga. I loved this addition and I think it's great that Williamson actually brought it in. The fact that it was Flatline who found it seems cliché. And no, I don't think it's a parallel between the shojo manga characters and them two. I really hope that particular manga has a deeper meaning than that. The fact that we keep seeing the blood sprayed (or is it cuts? not sure) on it does seem to hint at that.

There were some good moments. Damian and Dick. Basically every single interaction between Damian and Ravager. The whole Damian and Conner could have been developed better, because it seemed rather sudden they had a heart to heart when Damian can be such a distrusting little shit. Damian reuniting with Goliath.

Why is it that we're five issues into this series and it's all over the place? I don't dislike it. The art is great, although there's so many inconsistencies. But it's been super hard to feel in any way about it other than just 'meh'.

Issue #6 was boring. I didn't mind Flatline and Damian analysing other fighters, it was interesting actually, but that it's still being framed as heading towards a romantic relationship is so.....well, eugh.

Overall, I just don't feel there's enough...substance? Damian does interact with a wide variety of characters and there are a lot of things going on - batfamily searching for him, Ra’s Al Ghul (which was funny yet so odd the way he was characterized), the whole tournament and magic island, so on.

Flatline is not the issue for me, but rather one part of why the series has not managed to appeal to me. I do feel there's a bit too much of her. Or rather, there's not enough of her as a character and too much of the whole 'they're teenagers so they'll have to end up having a crush on one another because he's a boy and she's a girl who literally stole his heart'. Like, I wouldn’t mind having Flatline or other fighters background explored, just to see the types of people they are and so on. 

I wish there'd more of Damian's inner thoughts too. If not that, then give us more fights. Not just snippets. It's a tournament. Let's see how badass they all are. Damian’s fight scenes in #6 were beautiful but brief. I hope the next issues will give us more of that.  As someone who does like Damian x OC fics, I can’t blame the author for wanting to hype their own OC, but I am also a great fan of friends to lovers, slow burns, friendships can be just as great as romantic relationships, of taking the time for mental/emotional growth. 

Anyways, if you've made it to the end of this commentary, I applaud you. Once again, if you do like the whole Damian x Flatline thing, that's cool. I don't, but I do understand to an extent why people find it appealing. And if you think the Robin 2021 series is amazing, then I am happy for you -- I wish I could be this enthusiastic about it.

P.S just saw the cover for issue #7 or is it #8 ? I think I may cry.

[echo-of-sounds]

birthday cake

-Fatgum x f!reader-

Headcanons and smut drabble for Taishiro’s birthday! (It isn’t until tomorrow but I don’t post on the weekends so I’m posting it early!)

Please throw him a surprise party. He would be so grateful. And so, so cute. His eyes would light up. His smile would grow. His love for you would blossom to the extremes. Invite all his friends. All. He wants everyone there. Even his intern kids. Everyone needs to be there to celebrate and have fun together!

For a day out with him, find some festival or fair to go to. He loves the games even if he never wins. If he somehow manages to win one, he’ll choose the largest stuffed bear and give it to you despite it being his birthday. He wants you to have something big to cuddle when he isn’t home. And what’s better than a giant teddy bear? You can put one of his shirts on it so it smells like him.

A movie marathon is also another terrific option. Cover the couch with pillows and blankets, litter the coffee table with snacks and drinks, and spend three whole days just watching movies and cuddling. He doesn’t get as much time with you as he wants so it would be refreshing for him. Of course, sex could get mingled in between the snuggles and movies.

Some gifts are rather obvious: food and clothing. He’d appreciate new cookbooks. It doesn’t matter the cuisine- Italian, Mexican, Indian, Irish- he’s always willing to try new dishes. Plus, cooking with you is one of his favorite pastimes so it gives him more things to explore with you.

He could use nicer clothing. He has mainly sweatshirts and t-shirts. Buy a nice suit jacket and a few ties for him. He looks so handsome in purple but he so rarely wears it.

Though he doesn’t wear them a lot because of his job, he does like the aesthetics of rings and necklaces. Keep them simple and masculine, and he’ll definitely appreciate the gift. A chain with a plain pendant or a black smooth ring would be nice. He’d love it even more if it was engraved with your name or anniversary. 

However, at the end of the day, Tai would be grateful for pretty much any gift. If it’s from you and you put thought into it, he’s bound to love it. It’s really hard to go wrong with him.

After saying goodbye to the last guest, you closed the door with a sigh of relief. You turned around, smiling, “I love you but that was way too many people.” 

“But you handled them so well.” Taishiro leaned down to kiss your forehead. “Thank you for the party.”

“Anything for the birthday boy. I love you.” You stood on your tip-toes to kiss his lips. 

He mumbled it back, picking you up and setting you on the counter. “Do I have any more presents to open?”

“Not sure. You might need to check the closet or under the bed. Who knows?”

“Nah. I see one right in front of me.” He slipped off your shirt and undid your bra, letting him pinch and pull your nipples. You leaned forward with the light tugging. 

He took off the cake’s plastic container. A finger dipped into the frosting and brought the warm chocolate cream to your nipples. Rainbow sprinkles spread across your skin.

“Really?”

“Oh, really,” he smirked, thoroughly painting the frosting around, making sure to completely cover both nipples. Melted drips trickled to your stomach.

“You’re going to clean them right?”

“Of course I will.” He grabbed one breast. His large tongue started at the trickles, licking up to the bottom of your breast. “It tastes better when it’s on you.”

Your back curved closer to his mouth, wanting it. His tongue returned, hot and wet, stroking to your nipple, sucking off the cream. You sighed his name at the painfully slow licking. He chuckled, finishing that one breast with a cruel nipple bite. 

“Tai!” you jerked.

He just laughed and went to his next snack. A hand flattened against your shorts, rubbing in a not-so-gentle motion. You rocked on the counter for friction. The licks turned to full-mouth sucking as he cleaned the cream and ate the sprinkles.

Your leg moved in between his. It felt like his erection was already full, almost like he was aroused during the party. You asked with a smile, “How long have you been hard?”

After one final big suck, he popped off your nipple to reply, “Too long.”

He lifted you to the floor and dropped the last of your clothing. His hand returned to you, brushing back and forth over your clit. You grabbed his shirt. He kissed your forehead, keeping the hard motion. The rapidly-growing wetness coated his hand. It rubbed off onto your thighs. Using his arm, he pressed up firmly, lifting you onto your tippy-toes. You bit his sleeve to stifle any moans and whines.

“You got wet pretty quickly. Do you want me to eat you or just fuck you?”

“Just fuck me.”

“Turn around.”

You did, leaning your forearms on the counter. A hand smoothed over your spine while two fingers slicked in. They curled down. You wriggled backward, wishing for more.

“You know I gotta stretch you first, baby.” He kissed your shoulder, carefully adding another finger. They sought your front wall and easily found the spot you liked. The perfect pressure roused an intense moan.

Warm frosting decorated your back. His tongue brushed along your skin, sucking, nipping, licking everywhere. “So damn good,” he groaned.

Fingers curved down and down again. You were stretched. You were wet. You jerked on his hand. “Tai, come on. I’m ready.”

They left you empty. You turned in time to see him use those soaked fingers to scoop up frosting. They slipped into his mouth next, letting him taste you and the chocolate. He licked with grin and glee. “Seriously, you should try this.”

“Taishiro, just fuck me already, please.” You leaned on the counter for him.

“Alright but you’re missing out.” 

The sound of his pants undoing shot a tingle up your spine. Hands held your hips and he entered gently like he always did, making sure you were prepared enough. He seated fully inside in one sink. You took a few deep breaths, familiarizing yourself with the thickness.

At your say-so, the thrusts started. A long pull out, then a heavy push in. They built excitedly, jostling you against the counter. Despite his warm heart and sweet temper, his thrusts turned rough and brutal. But it never hurt, each one only inflicted vivid moans and affectionate gaps.

“Faster.” Your breasts pressed to the chilly tiles. You grasped at them. Fingers found nothing to hold through the increasing speed. 

Your feet left the floor at an intense thrust. Hands stayed on your hips, squeezing encouragement. “You’re doing so good, baby, just perfect.”

“Fuck, Tai!” you cried out his name as he hit your inmost part. It was a keen pleasure, fat and solid, heaving in and out, that only he could give. Muscles twitched at the continuous weight thumping against them.

He pushed you further onto the counter and opened your legs wide. You bent your knees, wrapping your calves around his sides. Depth and hunger grew. Your heart pounded. Heat flooded, tensing. You gripped his wrists, pleading for more, knowing you were right there. 

Hips snapped. Thrusts slammed. Groans swelled. 

The heat burst. Your back went rigid as you came, yet your body still managed to hump back, dripping wetness against him. You gasped into the tiles through his unending movements.

“Good job, baby,” he grunted without breaking his pace. Your hips were lifted and dragged for a better angle, letting him slick in louder. His groans dulled into guttural huffs.

“Tai, are you-”

“Where do you want me?”

“In me. In me,” you moaned, barely getting the words out before he sunk deep, tight. Moans rose to loving whines, feeling him lean over you, rooting his fingers into your waist as he released.

He kissed your neck and shoulders while his body relaxed. You reached back for his flushed cheek, whispering, “Happy birthday, honey. I love you.”

Lips moved to your jaw, exaggerating the smooching sounds. You both laughed. “I love you too.”

When he pulled out, you tried to stand. Hands didn’t let you. He spread you instead, taking a long, broad lick, finishing with a pleasant kiss to your clit. 

You sighed, “What are you doing?”

You could hear the grin on his face when he said, “I’m not finished with my birthday cake yet.”

[painless-innit-colourful]

‘Two Down, One To Go’ - part 1

My biggest gripe with how late the three canon lives system was brought in is that the early deaths never got the weight they deserved in canon. So I fixed that. The night of L’Manberg’s independence is the biggest party any of them have ever attended, but Tommy’s not in a merry mood. Tubbo finds out why. Featuring a little headcanon about how a person knows how many lives they have left.

part two | part three

---

Night of Independence

“One, two, three, four, five-” His heart was racing, fingers tightening on the bowstring. There was a kind of dread in his heart like never before. Not only was Dream a better shot than him; he knew it. And to bet both the future of his country and one of his discs on his abilities…

“-six, seven, eight, nine-” His arms ached; his whole body ached. Bruises and scrapes and barely healed gashes littered his limbs from Eret’s betrayal. That b*stard. He snuck a glance at his fellows. They’d all lost so much today. All their things, a war, a country; not to mention a life apiece. Something had erupted inside of him when they’d woken back in the camarvan with a tally mark each: something red and explosive. And they returned his gaze, Tubbo and Fundy watching with bated breath. He couldn’t see Wilbur from the direction he was facing, but he imagined his expression was about the same. Fear, apprehension and just the smallest sliver of hope.

“-Ten paces fire!” And then it died, for the second time in twenty-four hours. As did Tommy.

The mood around the campfire was merry. Wilbur had poured them all drinks (watered down for everyone but him, especially Fundy) and was currently leading him and Tubbo in a half-drunk singalong of something that had started as the L’Manberg anthem, that had since devolved into innuendos about explosions and jokes about ‘independance’, though they kept in the parts with the names and the ‘it’s a very real and not blown up L’Manberg’. Tommy tried to have a good time, shouting “F*ck Eret!” every time that line came up, but the feeling was bittersweet. He slipped his hand inside his shirt and felt the tiny ridges. Two tallies. He hadn’t told the others yet. They’d given him enough pity when he’d told them how he’d traded away the discs. He didn’t need them fawning over him for this as well.

Unfortunately, it seemed he hadn’t been subtle enough. Tubbo sat down beside him, out of breath from dancing and grinning at Wilbur’s antics, and the first thing he laid his eyes on when he looked to Tommy was his hand inside his shirt. Tommy internally cursed himself and quickly removed it, but Tubbo had already latched onto the topic, “Feels weird doesn’t it?”

“Hm?” “The… Death mark.” A slight tremor passed over him, his eyes wandering down to where his own sat. The marks always showed just below a person’s collarbone, on the left side of the chest, close to the heart. “Maybe not weird but… I never expected to have one this- this early.” His words hung in the night air. They were both just kids, Fundy too, and they were all too close to a permanent death than they should be. But Tommy found some solace in how his friends had survived the war gaining only one. They were the lucky ones. Tommy had not only lost his most valued possessions but another life too. There was a line to death, and now Tommy walked along it, feet placed end to end like an acrobat tip-toeing a tightrope. Any moment now could be his last forever. It was unlikely he’d die right this second: he’d just secured peace for goodness’ sake, but what if? All it could take now was a stray arrow, a random attacker, a careless match finding an explosive in an untouched corner of L’Manberg, and that would be it for him. Gone.

Tubbo shuffled closer, “Tommy, are you okay man?” Drat. Once again, his face betrayed his feelings. He glanced around the partying men. Of all the people here, he trusted Tubbo the most, but mainly, the secret was starting to weigh him down worse than a full suit of netherite. He was tired of saying he was fine. Besides, it was Tubbo. His best friend, his brother. They’d been fighting together since the beginning: the Disc War, the Pet Wars and most of his other scuffles with citizens of the SMP, major and minor. He could trust Tubbo.

“Tubbo, I… Give me your hand.” One boy put his hand in the others’, and Tommy laid it on his chest, where they could both feel the lines representing a betrayal and a duel through the thin fabric of his shirt. Tubbo’s face changed from concern to horror to pity as he ran his fingers back and forth over the two ridges, checking, again and again, to verify what he couldn’t quite believe was true.

“You never said-” He started to say, but Tommy silenced him with a finger to his own lips hurriedly. “I didn’t want to worry anyone.” He sighed. “Or detract from the celebrations. I’m fine. It’s just a second mark.” Tubbo gave him a look halfway between disappointment and sympathy. “First of all, it’s not ‘just a second mark’ and second, you know that because I can see it on your face. It’s affecting you, dude.” Tommy looked away, closing his hand around Tubbo’s. “I don’t wanna think about it tonight, but I can’t-” He looked around at his four closest comrades. “I can’t stop running it over in my head, how much we’ve lost.” He gestured around them, at the land of their country torn apart, at the small patch of scorched grass they’d found sound enough to celebrate on. His eyes met Tubbo’s, creased with worry. “Five lives between us. Five.”

“Well… We’ve lost a lot, but we’ve also gained, y’know? What you did-” “How do you feel?” “Hm?” Tommy squeezed Tubbo’s hand. “How does it feel to be down a life?” “Don’t you remember?” He smiled faintly. “It was only this morning.” “I was a bit preoccupied, Tubbs.” They giggled half-heartedly. “True.” There was a moment of quiet broken only by the sounds of the party, and then; “I suppose I’m okay. I know I’m a bit closer to dying now, but I’ve still got another chance. So I can manage, I think.” “Do you feel more… mortal? Vulnerable?” Tommy’s voice was small. “Yeah. Like, I know what it’s like to die now- or, I know I can die. That it’s possible. I think that’s what it’s like for the others as well.”

Tubbo’s gaze drifted to look over at Wilbur, and Tommy’s soon followed. “Well, he seems fine.” The blonde remarked as Wilbur whirled past, drink in hand, a brown coat over his revolutionary uniform, adding more and more names from the crowd around them to the anthem as Fundy looked on, bemused. “I guess,” Tubbo shrugged. “He’s a bit older, so it’s less… jarring to be down one. Still not ideal, but not entirely unexpected.” “Well he’s certainly taking it well.” And at that Tubbo laughed. “He’s also quite drunk. So drunk he hasn’t noticed Fundy’s stopped watering his beers down.” That brought forth a small smile from Tommy. Tubbo continued: “He’s had time, y’know?” He paused, waiting for Tommy to look him in the eye. “When… When did you notice it?”

“After Dream took off with the discs. I finally came down from the adrenaline rush when I was alone in my house, just before I got back on comms to let you guys know. I felt it while I was taking off my armour. The tiniest little sting... And there it was.” He remembers standing alone in his house, examining both the duel scar and the extra mark in the grimy mirror he’d taken off the wall and leant on the floor. For a moment it was like the floor had gone out from beneath him again, but luckily this time it wasn’t an explosion. It hadn’t crossed his mind before then: all his brainpower had been in use, between worrying for his friends, discs, country and bow skills. The physical and mental pain of losing the duel had kept his mind off his own mortality as well, but there it was, staring him in the face, taunting him.

‘Two lives in less than twenty-four hours,’ it seemed to say (and he’d be omitting important details to not mention how it spoke in an American accent) ‘You won’t make it to twenty, or eighteen, or even your next birthday. Are you running out of time? Are you running out of time? Are you running out of ti-’

“What you did was incredibly brave and selfless.” Tubbo’s voice snapped him out of the memory of Death calling out to him, or maybe that was just him being melodramatic. “More like stupid. I didn’t know what I was doing.” “Well, Wilbur did tell you, he said ‘ohh Tommy, this country isn’t worth your life’.” “I wasn’t thinking.” “Well... I don’t care.” Tubbo squeezed his hand. “And maybe that’s a little selfish, but we’re free because of the trade you made, and maybe you’d never have pushed Dream to that point without the duel. I don’t know. But now we’re free. We’ve been beaten down by that tyrant for so long, but now we’re finally free.” He gave him a firm smile, “Yeah.” It was hard not to get swept up in Tubbo’s good moods, so Tommy reached for his drink. “Cheers. To L’Manberg!” “L’Manberg!” Tubbo knocked his tankard into Tommy’s and they both took a long drink. Wilbur overheard them and knocked Fundy’s drink out of his hands in his tipsy enthusiasm, and then there was another round of My L’Manberg. And as Tommy listened to the growing, rowdy chorus of his country, he let go of his fears for a while. Maybe they’d never leave him for the rest of his life, but for right now, they had their walls, their drinks and their song.

And as long as there were more crosses on the flag than lines on his tally, he’d be fine.

---

Taglist: @nixavia @zrenia (Please let me know if you’d like to be on the taglist in future :)

[amindofstone]

Match up, No. 9

@starlightbydaybright hat gefragt:

Hello! Saw you were taking match-ups and I was wondering if I could request one. Only done one before for another fandom, and I was wondering who I’d align with for One Piece ^^

I'm an INFP and generally an introvert, finding it difficult to express myself when I'm around people I'm unfamiliar with or just not close to. I can be both quiet and shy; quiet when I have no interest in making good impression on that person (a stranger I'll see once and never again) and shy when I'm genuinely trying to make myself acceptable to them. But, I do trust easily, so it's not hard to get close enough with me that I'll open up about almost everything, so long as they understand have my boundaries (that'll shift depending on how close). I'm also very affectionate with people I'm close with, particularly through physical touch, since I've been pretty touch starved. If you're close friends with me, you can find me constantly looking for a hug, but I can respect boundaries since not everyone enjoys contact.

The situation would be a bit different romance wise, since I’d revert a bit back to my introverted side, but also very affection-seeking at the same time. I say affection seeking as in I’d crave time and activities spent together with them, but I’d be afraid to ask/initiate, at least during the early beginnings of the relationship. I’d be constantly seeking affirmation of their love, and since I’ve never been in a relationship before (but desperately wanted one), they’d be constantly receiving my love too ❤️

While being an introvert in reality, I find it much easier to speak with confidence online. as I actually have time to contemplate what I can say. It's when I'm either with close friends or on the internet, that I can go on passionate endless rants or show my passive aggressive side. I'm usually pacifist, but if something irks me enough, I can and will pitch in snide/sarcastic remark or two, or if it's more serious; I will write out whole sophisticated and well worded paragraph that'd sound all polite with a hidden snarky tone.

I'm pretty much a hopeless romantic, so there's lot of couple things I want to try when I find someone. Back hugs, bridal carry, tickle fights, you name it. While I do enjoy these displays of affection (comes with the happy kind of embarrassment aka. I feel embarrassed that others sees it but I’m happy because I know they’re not doing it out of maliciousness and because they truly love me), small gestures are appreciated too; a gentle squeeze of the hand, a passing smile, etc.

As for hobbies, I enjoy reading, writing, (occasionally) drawing, but most of all; probably singing. I enjoy a wide variety of songs, depending on what mood I'm in, but I particularly like songs about love. Looking for someone to sing the duet love songs with me, doesn't matter how good or bad they are at singing. They can be tone deaf for all I care, it's the thought that matters 😊

I'm very emotionally sensitive, and can both laugh and cry easily. A random stranger online wished me good day? I'll be in good mood for awhile. Watched a 'mildly' sad movie? (Extra emphasis on mildly) I better have new box of tissue on the side just in case. It'd be nice to have someone that can either comfort me or at least tolerate my emotions, so I wouldn't be irking them 😞

I don't really have a type when looking for significant other but being an INFP does make the romance thing complicated. It'd be nice to have someone that's far along on the extroverted side (just not happy go lucky and can be serious) since, despite being introverted, I like to experience new things. I'm just too afraid to try alone and prefer it if someone else recommends it first. Someone to prompt me and nudge me to do something, but won’t take it too far if I really looked uncomfortable. (I’m also a procrastinator so they gotta find out the right ratio between pushing vs. taking it too far 😅) In relationship, I'd value trust and loyalty the most, since both are important in keeping the healthy relationship. If both sides could equally trust and be trusted, then there wouldn't be place for insecurity or fear. This ties in with another part of me being an INFP; I want a relationship that lasts forever. While it's weird to decide how long lasting the love will be early in the relationship, I don't think I can fully commit myself to someone, knowing that it'll end (through the other side falling out of love with me, finding interest in someone else, etc.) (natural causes like death are fine, even though I will still be sad 🥲)

As for appearance, I’m a 5”4 female with slightly wavy black hair that reach nearly to my waist. I don’t think I’m particularly short, but then again, every anime character seems to be straight up giants XD (Man, I was born with the wrong genes) I’m overall very plain, with black hair, brown eyes, but I’ve always been told I had pretty long eyelashes and big bright eyes. Average weight for my height, and flat chested :’)

As for the preference for gender, I’m mainly attracted to guys. I had some (very few) crushes on a small selection of female anime characters, but that were very rare, like 3, compared to my (insert large number) male crushes

Thank you in advance and sorry for how long this is 😔

P.s. I feel like I need to emphasize I’m still an introvert, since the personality I described is only limited to my very small friend group

a/n:

Hey there? How are you doing? Thank you so much for requesting. First off I should be apologizing for making you wait so long. I hope you´re not mad at me but lately there is a lot happening in my life. In my private life but also in my college life. But let´s put that aside and get to your request.

I have to thank you for the detailed info about you because that helped me to choose a match up for you so much. Like I instantly could think of someone. Not only did it help me to match you up with someone but also to come up with a plot. So I came up with this little imagine/hedcanon… I really don´t know what to call my work for the imaginies so I go with work. XD Anyways I really don´t know what to do at this point. Your request and your personality gave me such a good idea for a plot that I tried my best to keep it short because I decided to turn this request and my ideas and thoughts that are flying around in my mind to an actual FANFICTION! AHHHHHHHH. I can´t stop thinking about it. The idea sounds so damn good in my head that it makes me smile like an idiot right now! Uff I can´t wait to find time writing it down. AHAHH, but I fear that I already gave aways so much with this!!!! *pouts Doesn´t matter I´ll do it anyways. AHHHHHHHHHHH Thank you so damn much for requesting!

Anyways! Back to my work now. If there is anything that bothers you or you simply hate please make sure to tell me so I can change it and give you whatever you´d like. Other than that happy reading my dear!

Match up rules can be found HERE.

Warning(s): Maybe grammatical or spelling mistakes since English is my third language and I´m still improving in every aspect (Please have mercy on that.)

!!! Please do not steal my idea or work. Credit me if this is shared or published in any other platform or any other way. Please respect me as the writer and my work. Picture is not mine. Credits to: I sadly don't know. Please tell me of you know so I can give credits. Thank you in advance. !!!

· I decided to pair you up with KILLER

· Like am I the only person that thinks that he is not getting the screen time and appreciation he deserves? Because that is the damn case! ODA GIVE THIS MAN THE LOVE AND APPRECIATION HE DESERVES. And while we´re at it I wouldn´t mind if I would get a bit more of Eustass Kid too… Thank you in advance. <3

· But that’s not the point. Please dear requesting beautiful human being give this man and me, your hopelessly dreamy author a chance. Thank you, I really appreciate. <3

· aNyWaYssssS.

+

· “y/n? Are you still awake?”, asked the blond man softly. “No worries I won´t make you carry me to bed again.”, you said with a giggle. You couldn´t see his face but you knew that he was smiling. “I don´t mind that you know? I like having you close to me without having to fear to see you hid under the blanket for who knows how long.”, you rolled you eyes and hit his arms. “That only happened because that idiot captain of yours annoyed the hell out of me. That was embarrassing Killer.”, you slowly put one leg over the railing and then the next one. Making sure you don´t fall down the ship. ��What happened? Didn´t you drag me out our cabin to watch the stars?”, asked the muscular man who held you close to him while making sure you didn´t fell. “I did but now I´d like to look at something different. Something even more beautiful. Something that gives me warmth and happiness. Something that keeps me alive and always makes sure I am doing fine.”, talking to the blond pirate while sitting at the railing was one of the rare moments you were close to an eye level with him. “You mean my mask?”, asked the man with a tiled head that got you to roll your eyes and hit his chest. “Great you destroyed the sweet moment. I hate you. Make a step back so I can get down. I want to go back to bed and drown in regret of dating you.”, you tried to push him away but he was obviously stronger and threw you over his shoulder. “Of course you hate me. That was also the exact same thing you were moaning a while ago. Let´s go back to bed nerd.”

· As sweet and loving your relationship was now with the pirate it also started like that. Wanna know how? Alright let me get comfortable in my bed and get started. Story TIIMMMEEEE!!!

· An island well known for their universities and scientist. An island full of top ranked doctors.

· Physics, chemistry, biology, astrology was well thaught in the schools of the island. An island well known around the world. An island ruled by a powerful devil fruit user.

· An island in which every civilian had a talent in another field. And you? You sadly had an impressive talent for languages.

· Why sadly you wonder? Well the amount of times you had to run for your dear life because some pirates could come and kidnap you and make you read the poneglyphs is immense.

· Once even the infamous Red haired Shanks came and asked you with the hope to have someone who could read them. But sadly you couldn´t. You told him that you were done with pirates coming for you or your best friends. You regretted learning all of that and hated yourself for that. Shanks and Beckman to whom your were talking to really felt bad for you and claimed the island as their territory after they had a chat with ruler and made a deal.

· That was that saved you and your friends for years and made you happy. You were thankful to the red hair pirates and always treated them with meals and drinks when they came visiting the island. You were happy for 5 years. 5 years until these stupid reckless pirates came.

· And now? Now you hated yourself all over again

· You knew that not every pirate was like the red hair pirates. Nice and respectful. They didn´t kill innocent people and destroyed civilizations only to get some gold and diamonds. But these? These were horrible. Cold and cruel.

· “Someone make this btch talk otherwise I´ll do it by cutting her into pieces only stropping when IT actually starts to answer my god damn questions!”, screamed a tall and guy with red hair.

· You were scared. Tied on a mast on their ship, you feared for your life. Screaming for help was not an option since you were already on the sea since a while now.

· The man that was yelling at you none stop was now holding a blond man with a mask at his collar and growling at him. The man might have a mask on but you somehow had the feeling that he was talking to the man with the red fur coat. “Clear the deck! NOW!!”; yelled the man before he left inside the ship. Slowly every man on deck was leaving you alone. You wanted to ask them were or why the left but you knew that they wouldn´t give you an answer. You were a prisoner. A captive. A pathetic human they took on board. With the last pirate leaving you behind, a door that was located behind the mast you were tied on closed while the need to cry grew inside of you. How long am I here by now? One hour? Two or three? Was anyone missing me back at home? Were they already looking for me? Thoughts that occupied your mind were blurring your vision. You were looking right in front of you but also not. Your eyes were wide open but your vision was back at home. Home were you belonged.

· “Hey. Hey can you hear me? Hey you alright, woman? Hello?”, a man was squatting in front of you and waving with his hands in front of your face. You were deeply lost in your thoughts that you neither heard him coming nor saw him sitting right in front of you.

· But the moment he touched you tight you screamed and got back to reality. “Please don´t touch me. Please don´t hurt me. Please I beg you. Please.”, fear was written all over your face. You saw yourself death with a huge puddle of your blood. “Alright I won´t touch you. It´s just that I´ve been sitting in front of you for 5 minutes now and the only thing you did was breath and say no. Anyways here is something to drink. You´ve been her for four hours now. Half of the time unconscious and the other one either basically mute or in a trance.”, the guy in front of you was the same one who got the mad man to leave and clear the deck. It made you wonder who he was that he had such a power but you didn´t dare to ask. “Here I hold it for you and you drink.”, the glass was put on your lips and you drank. You didn´t knew how thirsty you were until your lungs were wetted by the water. Finished drinking he put a blanket over your legs since the position your were in didn´t allow you to cover yourself properly. And the fact that you were wearing a dress wasn´t helping at all.

· “Alright. You had something to drink I got you a blanket now tell me are you able to talk to me and answer my questions?”, you nodded. “Good. Now listen to me. There is this language that is called Krisanasy. As far as I know there is a tiny amount of people who are able to speak that and you are one of these. Am I right?”, you nodded. “How well are you in it?”, you gulped and looked at the man with the mask “I know the most important basics. I remember basic grammar rules and a good amount of vocabulary but I´m not that good in it. I didn´t worked with anything that included this language since years now.”, the masked man nodded and fully sat down now. “Would you be able to get back in it if you had some books and scripts to work with?”, slowly you understood where this was supposed to lead. You knew that if you said yes they would keep you as their prisoner and make your work for them. And if they had everything they would kill you because there would be no more use for you. But if you said no now and refused to talk to him he would probably also kill you. You were in a dilemma. You didn´t wanted to die but also didn´t wanted to die after you helped them. They were criminals. Feared and hated by the government and any human around the world. You looked down on your lap and let your head fall forward so your long black hair covered your face. “Hey I asked you something. Would you be able to do that?”, his voice was deep and rough but in the same time soft and gentle. That irritated you. it make you realize that him being nice to you now was just a way to get under your skin and make you do whatever they wanted. And then they simply would kill you in the most brutal and cruel way. “Hey, woman. Are you listening?”, you felt helpless. “I don´t want to die. Please let me go. Please. I beg you. Please.”, tears were streaming down you cheeks you couldn´t hold back anymore. He came closer and lifted you face. “Listen here you are a smart woman. Stop crying for fcks sake. If I would be you I would have made these pirates work for me. Use your damn brain and stop crying. Do you really think anyone in here would kill you? Heck no! They need your help. They need your brain because all of them are basically stupid. Like damn I need you to answer all of my questions before my captain with anger issues comes and beats the sht out of me. Now answer me woman. Are you able to get back in it if we got you some scripts to work on?”, you nodded while more tears streamed down you cheeks. You felt pathetic. You felt worthless and used. Helping them would turn you into a criminal too and ruin everything you worked on. Everything the emperor did for you and the island would be wasted. “See wasn’t that hard to answer.”

· The questioning went on for a while you didn´t know for how long but you knew that a long time passed since the sun stared to set. “Alright. Now I give you two options. One, stay here. Tied up on the mast no matter what kind of weather we face. Two you swear to obey me no matter what kind of order I give you and you will be able to sleep on a bed. You will get food and tomorrow you will start working on the scripts we give you. You choose.”, with your head hung lowly you said number two and instantly got released from the chains and handcuffs. He helped you stand up and covered you in the blanket before he led you into his cabin. “Wait here. Sit there and don´t do anything stupid as long as I´m not here. If you do anything stupid I won´t be able to help you. Got it?”, he didn´t even wait until you answered or gave any reaction he simply left and closed the door after him. So you waited while sitting with a lowly hung head. Minutes passed and he came back. “Your clothes are dirty. The bathroom is empty so you can take a bath or shower. Anything you want but I´ll be in the room with you. Because of one I have to make sure no one is coming in and secondly to watch over you and make sure you don´t do anything stupid. Got it. Fine. Take this towel and these clothes. We don´t have any female crewmates so you have to be wearing with my clothes until we dock on another island and you get to buy clothes.”

· The man with the mask took care of you for the rest of the day. He took you to shower and gave you fresh clothes. You had dinner with him alone in the kitchen when no one was around and got back to sleep. And no matter what you did he made sure to keep a respectful distance towards you. Whenever he had to come closer or touch you to take care of your wounds he would warn you. The day kept going like that. Nothing else was said about the following days and the thing they wanted you for. Only necessary things were said that were needed at the moment. And you only gave short replays or only answered with a head movement.

· Slowly the day passed by and the night took over with the moon putting the world alight. You were back in his cabin with him sitting on an armchair and you lying in bed sleeping with one hand tied up on the bed.

[angelsdevils]

Keigo Atobe x Reader

Title: Missing Undergarments Fluff No Warning

You were the captain and coach of the U-17 tennis camp, you were in charge of the newcomers. You would have been able to do that for the upperclassman and be in charge of them but you knew they were lacking the spirit that you searched in a tennis team. So they gave the position to some idiot, you couldn’t stand. They weren’t normally your problem because the tennis team you were charge was your main priority. You were confident in their skills, mainly because you went to every tennis team, and hand-picked them yourself. 

Right now the upperclassman was giving them a hard time, and you could feel a tick mark appear on your head. It was only the second week and they were already causing trouble for your team. The team didn’t know you were their coach, so when you served the ball and hit Byodoin to back him up away from your team their eyes widen. You also weren’t to keen on him hurting your best friend Tokugawa. You knew they weren’t expecting a girl to be in this camp, so if it was under different circumstances you would have looked at their faces. 

“Oi! What do you think you are doing?” You asked walking down the bleachers, everyone parted ways, Tokugawa’s eyes widen. You were the captain for several years for U-17 camp, before you became a captain and a coach, but you normally didn’t make your appearance until the third or fourth week. 

“(L/N)~san it’s a bit early to be revealing your face to the newcomers don’t you think?” He asked with that irritating smirk. You rolled your eyes walking past him, and checking Tokugawa over, he looked away knowing you were going to scold him later on for this. 

“You need to go to the nurse and explain what happens. I will deal with you later.” You tell him, even though you two were best friends, you always scolded him when he did reckless things.

“Oi did you hear me? I am talking to you?” 

“Put some respect on my name, I showed my face because you and your airheaded team don’t know how to stop messing with my team. So I decided to come here myself to put a stop to it myself.” You said you voice getting darker with each sentence. Byodoin rolled his eyes before smirking holding his racket so it was pointing it at you. 

“No need to be a sour patch, you know this is a tradition for us.”

“It’s also my tradition to beat your ass, every time you do. So what do you say we picked up where you left off at with Tokugawa? Actually no, that would be too easy, I will let you keep your points and I will take his points down and start at zero myself.” You said you could hear the multiple schools of the newcomers whispering about you. 

“Always cocky.”

“No, if we both start at zero we both know I would crush you.” You say. 

“Very well then, ladies serve first.” He smirked, you tossed him the ball which made him narrow his eyes at you.

“If that’s the case then you should be serving first not me.” You said with a cheeky grin that made him growl at you. 

“Wait, miss, you shouldn’t. You will get hurt.” You turned your head, to see a cute redheaded boy that was in the golden pair. 

“Kikumaru Eiji, golden pair with Oishi. It’s fine, trust me I will be fine.” You say the boy’s eyes widen in shock before looking at the others. Just like that the match resumed, Byodoin needing one point to win while you had zero. He served the ball, and just like that, you knew he was aiming for your body. You sidestepped the ball before returning it at a fast, lightning speed. 

Point by point you caught up with Byodoin, and you could see the irritation in his eyes. He was getting angry with himself, and losing his cool in the process. You both were tied now, and he hit the ball just the way you needed. You stood in a position that everyone besides the newcomers knew, and they knew what shot was coming. Dragon Force. 

“You aren’t the only powerhouse, you should know this. Dragon Force…” Byodoin’s eyes widen, and he stepped back as you hit the ball that formed a dragon’s body flying through the air, you knew he would try to return it, but you simply turned your back to him.

“Don’t you dare turn~ your~back to me!” Byodoin yelled but the force of the ball sent him flying into the wall denting it.  “You aren’t a match, never been a match never will be a match for me. You mess with my team again, I will personally make sure you guys are suspended from any games that happen in the near future Do I make myself clear? I chose to take on with training them because I can’t stand half of you red jersey bastards.” You say narrowing your eyes harder. 

“You guys don’t deserve to wear the red jackets, so I plan to remove you guys completely to let them take your places when I am done with them.” You say putting your red jacket on your shoulders, that’s when the younger members realized you were the captain of the entire U-17 camp and must have been their coach. You walked away from them, before heading to the infirmary but were stopped by a member of Rikkaidai’s youngest member, Akaya.

“That was so cool!” 

“Ah, thanks Akaya Kirihara youngest of Rikkaidai’s tennis team.” You patted his head, and continued to walk away, you didn’t notice but a certain captain of Hyoeti’s tennis team was watching you in awe. 

“She is beautiful.”

“Uh, Atobe~kun she is like 2  years older than you.” 

“Don’t care. Oresama will have her one way or another.” Atobe sighed in content before you stopped and looked over at them. 

“ Let’s go  check on Tokugawa alright?” You said, and everyone began to follow you. Atobe made his way up to you, and before he could say anything you raised a hand. 

“Keigo Atobe, Hyotei’s captain.” You said, he felt his heart rate accelerate.

“You can call me or~”

“Call you Oresama? Yeah, not a chance.” You say raising an eyebrow, you heard snickering, and Keigo glared back at the team and they got quiet. 

“It’s good to see you again (Y/N).” Shuji came up to hug you tightly, you hugged back with a smile. 

“Good to be back, I guess.” You laughed nudging Shuji. 

“You know they were highly concern about you facing Byodoin right?”

“I know, but can you blame them? They don’t know me, they just see a small female that looks like she can break easily like glass facing a brute like him.” You say.

“Yeah, even after I reassured them that Byodoin was the glass in this situation they didn’t believe me.” He said, and you laughed. 

“Oi are you two...dating?” You turned your eyes to meet Keigo’s and he looked left out, Shuji looked at you and you both shared the same idea. Shuju was another one of your best friends that you adored and had to scold often for not training.

“She is soon to be my wife,” Shuji said, and you hugged his arms nodding. 

“Oh, I see.”  Atobe dropped his shoulders, the look of defeat on his face. 

“Don’t be down, there are plenty of pretty girls.” You say in a teasing tone.

“Don’t tease them Shuji, (Y/N) you are their coach/captain you shouldn’t be joining in.” You looked up, and you rolled your eyes. 

“ But we are dating.”

“Well, this is news to me,” Tokugawa said crossing his arms. You and Shuji looked at each other sharing the same though once again a smile on your face. 

“Want us to prove it?” Shuji asked Tokugawa looked you both before realizing what you two were planning.

“Oh gross, don’t you dare.” It was too late Shuji pecked your lips, your eyes widen and you slapped his shoulder. 

“Oi! We weren’t actually going to do that.” You exclaimed to Shuji who had a carefree smile on his lips.

“Too late now.”

“I am going to kill you.”

“Gotta catch me first.” 

“Ugh, I hate you.” You say as Shuji ran from you.

“Anything with dating doesn’t listen to them, they aren’t dating.” Keigo’s spirits lifted up, and you could see hope in his eyes. 

“Don’t go getting idea’s Keigo, I date people same age or older than me.” You say, before smacking Tokugawa upside his head. 

“Owe, that hurts!”

“Sorry, are you hurt badly?” 

“Not really, I just can’t overdo it.

“Good, 50 laps.”

“WHAT!?”

“You know the rules no joining in matches against the red jackets unless I or the other coaches arrange it.” You say.

“That is so cruel.”

“I can make it 200 laps. I am being nice because you got hurt during your match.”

“I am going, I am going,” Tokugawa said as he began running his laps. You smiled before yelling towards him. 

“Meet us in the cafeteria when you are done bye~!” You said, leading them to the cafeteria. 

“What are we doing here?” Oishi asked you looked over at him giving him a smile.

“Well when I reveal myself a month later, I always throw a small party for my team, since I revealed myself earlier we are just gonna have the party earlier. So if you want to shower and stuff just meet back here.” You say with a smile, they all nodded cheering that they get to relax a bit. You watched them all leave before Ryoma came up to you, you raised an eyebrow before saying the words you knew you were going to hear from one of them.

“I will beat you, and become the best.” You laughed softly hitting his hat down a bit.

“Go get in the shower you stink like sweat.” You say making Ryoma puff his cheeks out. You left to your room to shower yourself when you finished you went to put on underwear in a bra only to realize they were all gone. Every. Single. Last. Pair. You growled and went to look for pants or shorts only to realized your dresses were left behind.

“OH NO!” You exclaimed eyes widened in saucers, you put the skirt on and your red jacket so no one could tell.

“I can’t go outside to buy underwear,  pants or bra, oh my god. I need... Tokugawa! Come here! You yelled getting to the cafeteria. You held your skirt down, with a blush as Tokugawa made his way to you.”

“What’s up?”

“I need a huge favor.”

“Are you okay? You are red in the face.” He asked worried, your blush increased and you leaned in to whisper in his ear. 

“Someone stole my panties, bras, and pants leaving me with skirts and shirts. If I give you money can you please buy me undergarments?” His eyes widen, a blush covered his cheeks. 

“I-I can’t (Y/N).”

“Please, I will do your homework for the rest of the year.”

“I am sorry. I can’t help I can’t just walk into a girls shop and buy those things.” He said apologetically. 

“Fine, thanks though.” Shuji was the next person you called. 

“SHUJI!” Tokugawa walked away giving you an apologetic smile.

“What’s up?” He asked you blushed before getting it over with.

“Someone stole my pants and ALL of my undergarments. I can’t go by them myself because well I am wearing a skirt with… nothing please go buy me some I will do your homework for the rest of the year. Shuji felt a nosebleed coming on, and your blush darkened, you whined and Shuji shook his head. 

“I flirt with you, yes, but that’s because we enjoy making people think that, but I can’t possibly buy your undergarments. That means I would know exactly what you would be wearing, I can’t I am sorry.”

“Shuji if I don’t get these things, I will never be able to play tennis, I will have to forfeit matches and stuff please.”

“I am sorry but ask one of the younger males. SORRY (Y/N)!” He ran off to tend to his bleeding nose. 

“Is everything okay (Y/N)~senpai?” You turned to see Oishi, and your eyes widen. He is so sweet and pure. 

“Oishi, do you know anyone that has sisters? That isn’t shy? Or something…” Oishi thought for a moment.”

“Eiji, Fuji, Ryoma has an older female cousin. Uhm, that’s all I can think of.” 

“Eiji! Fuji! Thanks, Oishi.”

“Anything I can help with?” He asked.

 “Are you comfortable with shopping for bras and underwear?” You asked, and he blushed shaking his head.

“Then nope, thanks.” Eiji and Fuji made their way, Eiji had a blush.

“I know why you called I am sorry (Y/N) I can’t help. Tokugawa was asking around for you.” Eiji said.

“I didn’t hear what’s going on?” Fuji asked confused.

“Someone stole my pants and undergarments I need someone to buy me some I have money I can’t go out like this.” You said desperate, and Fuji’s eyes opened. 

“Do you know who did it?”

“Nope, I was in the shower, or It could have been when I was at the courts.” You said Fuji puts a hand on his chin.

“I can’t help but if you can’t find anyone, I can get my sister too,” Eiji said, and Fuji nodded.

“Same I can too.”

“Thanks, I don’t want to be a bother to them though.” You say.

“Oh tell Tokugawa to stop asking people I don’t want everyone to know…” They nodded, and you sighed slipping away from the cafeteria, but Keigo stopped you.

“Senpai, do you need to ask me a question?” You turned to see Keigo. You were not about to ask him, but it was like he knew the issue. 

“Did Tokugawa tell you?”

“Just ask me the question.” He said, you blushed groaning but you had no choice. 

“Keigo can you please head to the store. I can’t walk out like this someone~”

“Stole your undergarments and pants? Yeah, I figured that’s what they were doing. Here.” He handed you bags, and you looked into the bag seeing all new undergarments. Your eyes widen and he gave you his famous smirk.

“Oresama is amazing, right? I even reported the ones who stole your stuff.” Keigo said, you were about to hug him but stopped. 

“Once I am fully dressed, I am giving you a hug you are amazing.” You say speed walking to your room. Keigo grinned fist pumping in the air, and everyone walked to him.

“How did you know?” Tokugawa asked.

“When I was headed to my room, I heard Byodoin and some other’s say they were stealing (Y/N) stuff, so I recorded them and took it to the coaches.” Everyone nodded and began to party, and you walked out of your room to see Keigo waiting for you. 

“You were waiting for me?”

“Yepp.” You hugged him tightly, and he returned the hug. You gave him a soft kiss to the cheek before heading down to the cafeteria.

“Thanks, Keigo, I owe you one.”

“Just a date will be fine, maybe a dance tonight.” You glanced at Keigo, and he offered you his hand once you both made it The music was loud and you leaned your head back, before looking at him.

“You are serious.” 

“Oresama is very serious.” You looked over to see Tokugawa and Shuji who were grinning at you, you had a blush before taking his hand. You both continued to dance, and Keigo held you close. Even though you were older, you were shorter than him, it wasn’t long before Nioh pulled you away from Keigo and began to dance with you. 

“Puri~not sorry I stole her from you.” 

“Oi~!” Keigo growled at Nioh, you sweatdropped. Nioh danced away from Keigo in the crowd, somewhere along the way, Fuji was dancing with you, than Oishi, than Bunta, then Akaya, back to Keigo, then Shuji. You were confused, amongst the slight arguing you somehow started dancing with Ryoma. 

“How did I even get into this?” Ryoma was confused just as you were, someone pushed someone, and you let Ryoma go and fell into Tezuka. 

“Oh dear, this is getting out of hand.” You said, and Tezuka adjusted his glasses.

“It is now they are arguing who is better at tennis.” You laughed softly, you had your work cut out for you. Just then Keigo appeared at Tezuka’s side. 

“Can I have her back?” Keigo said, and Tezuka allowed you to dance with Keigo. 

“Idiots.” He mumbled, and you laughed softly before pecking Keigo’s lips.

“Maybe I can make an exception for you. After all, you were man enough to buy things no one else was comfortable doing.” You say. 

“You give Oresama a chance I would be so happy.” You laughed softly, and Keigo led you away from everyone. He sat you on the bench outside, before holding your hand in his. You leaned your head on his shoulder, and he looked down at you. 

“So dating now?” Keigo asked and you shook your head. 

“We only met today, but give it time I am sure it will happen in due time.” You say, and he kissed the top of your head. 

“I can wait, as long as you become Oresama’s in the end.” You shook your head with a smile on your face.

[mira--mira]

Madara and Hashirama for the ask meme 👀

Hashirama

What I love about them:

I really love Hashirama's stubborn optimism. I say "stubborn" here bc I think after a certain point of pain in misery in someone's everyday life, in some way it is a choice to remain optimistic despite that suffering. I don't characterize Hashirama as constantly happy and he can recognize the more realistic/pessimistic possibilities, he just refuses to accept them. I have it in my notes for OoT but haven't worked it in verbatim but Madara would call him "ruthlessly optimistic " and while that's tinged with Madara's own bias, I think it fits quite well.

What I hate about them:

Hashirama is stubbornly optimistic LOL. It's a double-edged sword and I think by the time he reached adulthood in a canon setting, Hashirama was so desperate for there to be peace he maintained his "everything will work out" attitude when he otherwise shouldn't have. There were the concerns with Madara and the Uchiha, his own brothers views that he certainly should have recognized could become a problem, and, after depending on when Tobirama took on students/how old they were, the possibility of biases being passed down and a Danzo like figure coming to power. However this was not Hashirama's responsibility alone to fix. I don't think, despite his love, Hashirama alone could have kept Madara in a village that hated him and a clan that distrusted him. Tobirama was an adult and let his own bias pass under a veil of "logic" and passed that, either intentionally or unintentionally down to his students. None of this is Hashirama's fault, but I think part of the canon story being a tragedy was he was blinded by a bright, hopeful future that he failed to see the early signs right in front of him.

Favorite Moment/Quote:

"To me, Madara was like a gift from the divine."

Even thinking about it makes me melt. It's so sweet and really emphasizes how much Madara means to him. 🥺

What I would like to see more focus on:

In fics? Hashirama's mental health and how his childhood affected him. Most of the long fics I've read focus on Madara. Which I understand, Madara has an arc into becoming a villain while Hashirama is just kinda "there" and it's easy for him to fulfill a support role to helping Madara in canon Au fics. A sort of unshakeable, always optimistic stone for Madara to depend on and stop his downward spiral into villainy. But, what makes hashimada so great for me is that Madara and Hashirama are equals. There will be times one falters and needs to depend on the other, and they're capable of giving each other that support. It'd also be great to see Hashirama struggle yet continue to choose optimism and compassion time after time because that feels more weighty and important than an eternally optimistic characterization that never wavers.

Headcanon wise...this isn't something I've found but desperately want to see (and will come up in all of my own aus) is the connection between the god tree and the god of shinobi who's famed ninjutsu is wood release and who's cells can be used for everything under the sun and are specifically needed to control the gedo statue / ten-tails. 👀 Look when I got back into Naruto and only vaguely knew about the war arc plot I thought Kishimoto was Doing Something with that. He was not. I am.

What I would like to see less focus on:

This is pretty much mentioned above but Hashirama as mainly a support for Madara rather than getting his own (non romantic) arcs in long canon Au fics. Headcanon wise, this is such a small nitpick, but Hashirama constantly being the one described as warm whereas Madara is cold. The big tree can *retain* heat, but he pales in comparison to Madara's ability to *generate* heat.

Favorite pairing with:

Hashimada (Hashirama x Madara)

No one should be surprised. I can wax prose about this for days but it's about ultimately finding someone else in a terrible world that *understands* you that you can grow with and support. I'm a sucker for friends to lovers and battle couples so guess what's right up my alley?

Favorite friendship:

Canon/BoaF- Hashirama & Mito

I know Madara & Mito is more popular, and I do love their dynamic but christ Hashirama needs friends outside Madara and Tobirama and I think they'd be good friends. Canon!Mito would provide a good level-headed perspective and wouldn't have the messy, complicated history like the three founders have together and it'd be good for Hashirama to get a break from that. BoaF!Mito and Hashirama are cousins their relationship eventually progresses to a sibling-like bond. They’re quite protective of each other and gossip endlessly together. Mito’s not as good as gardening, but they do it together and incorporate Uzumaki sealing techniques for certain houseplant decorations. Mito also might know about Madara 👀 

OoT-Hashirama & Sakura or Hashirama & Sai

His and Sakura's relationship is p similar to how I would characterize his and Mito's but with the added hilarity of Sakura being his "student" yet having 0 deference for him once they actually get to the "teaching" part (surprise: Hashirama's most uttered lines are "you do the thing, you know the thing, you know you just...do it. The thing. Madara "translates" a lot of their sessions.) Hashirama and Sai antagonize each other constantly and he *will* tease Sai into oblivion as any older brother would. Tobirama never reacted to Hashirama's mischief in ~fun~ ways and he felt bad about messing with Itama, who was even more emotional than he was and Kawarama, who hero-worshipped him. Sai is the perfect "if anyone messes with you I will personally make them regret being born yet *I* will tease you mercilessly to my hearts content" kind of little brother.

NOTP:

Hashitobi (Hashirama x Tobirama)

I don't do incest. At all. Even "non-incest" aus where they aren't technically related squick me out.

Favorite headcanon:

Hashirama can Speak to the trees.

Either humorously or seriously, I love this kinda, sorta, maybe not quite human power.

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Madara

What I love about them:

Madara is kind and does his best to do what he thinks is right. The “kind” point is a lot of Hashirama talking/flashbacks and the “good” intention behind the Infinite Tsukuyomi. Making everyone a “winner” in the dreamworld, while absolutely insane and full of holes, is odd for a villain’s motivation. His role in the war arc is mostly focused on watching him wreck absolutely everyone he comes into contact with but I love Hashirama’s flashbacks and the glimpses of kid!Madara we get. Madara believed in his philosophy from a lifetime of pain that ended in him losing everything and being manipulated but he was still seeking a way to “help” the most people he could. He’s such a rich character that makes it easy to want to imagine other what-if scenarios where things turned out just a bit differently.

What I hate about them:

Madara takes all responsibility onto himself. This is more speculation because we don’t get Madara’s POV of his childhood or any significant scenes with the clan. However, I think this is one of the primary roots of most of Madara’s problems. If he blamed himself for mistakes that weren’t technically his, he could get into a cycle where he only blames himself and doesn’t seek help/support when he should have and purposefully reduces his support circle because he becomes paranoid that he won’t be able to protect them. A smaller issue that is both about Madara and not is he didn’t fall victim to the Talk no Jutsu, but was Madara aware of what was happening when he was possessed(?) by Kaguya? I forgot but if he wasn’t...I don’t think he’d agree Hashirama’s way was the right way at the end, merely his way was wrong. Because, in Madara’s point of view, the village may have been “better” (used very loosely) than becoming food/power for an alien goddess but it wasn’t good. It wasn’t the solution. Hashirama saying they were both wrong in some way saved the scene but Madara still jumped back to Hashirama’s dream being the right one too quickly imo. 

Favorite Moment/Quote:

“What are you going to do about the second [meteor] Onoki?” 

I’m sorry, that was just hilarious. We see this man slaughter an entire division and drop a meteor from the sky...two kages desperately try to stop it and it looks like they managed to succeed and he just...cool. What about the second? Really cemented Madara is Here and he is Dramatic. A close second fav is him flying across the battlefield to confront Hashirama only for the “I’ll deal with you later” line. 

What I would like to see more focus on:

I really love it when fics fill in the blanks of Madara’s childhood/his time with the Uchiha so that’s always a plus for me. The other thing is Hashirama calls Madara a “fundamentally kind man” and according to Tobirama the Uchiha feel love “too deeply” so I like fics that do focus on these aspects of Madara’s personality while staying true to his prickly demeanor. For headcanons I love, love, love exploring kekkei genkai/ninjutsu/genjutsu and how they individually affect people/clans. Digging deeper so that “fire affinity” means constantly running hot/pushing into possibly having fire resistance/unable to distinguish “too hot” / or even affinity acting like a secondary blood type so even if two people had AB blood if one had a water affinity and the other fire their blood would be incompatible. Also the mundane ways powers can be used (I have some Ideas for non-combat genjustu applications that the Uchiha use and those will come up in OoT 👀)

What I would like to see less focus on:

This again kinda ties into the Hashirama segments, but Madara completely depending on Hashirama and Hashirama alone for happiness. Especially in long AUs where he’s still in Konoha but has a poor relationship with the Uchiha. That’s fine starting out! But if the fic ends or doesn’t seriously work on improving that relationship it just sits a bit weird with me bc I don’t think Madara could be truly happy in that situation. (NSFW start) The other thing I see commonly is Madara is extremely passive/submissive in bed with Hashirama which is...weird to me? There’s also a reoccurring thing where he doesn’t have a lot of experience but Hashirama does and this leads to embarrassment and the aforementioned passive/submissiveness. I understand lack of experience can be embarrassing and I do believe Madara could be embarrassed, but instead of withdrawing into himself I think he’d push through it with something close to bravado and his usual single-minded intensity, for better or worse. I do think Madara usually bottoms in his and Hashirama’s relationship but both of them are as enthusiastic about sex as they are fighting and neither is especially submissive or dominant. (NSFW end)

Favorite pairing with:

Hashimada (Hashirama x Madara)

See absolutely everything else 😂 

Favorite friendship:

Canon/BoaF- Madara & Naori or Madara & Hikkaku 

I really like focusing on the Uchiha clan and exploring the dynamics within it. We get nothing about Madara’s early life outside of Hashirama so this is almost completely speculation. For the angst of canon, I like Madara being close to his clan only to lose them after his friendship with Hashirama is revealed bc he awakened his sharingan over Hashirama and that can’t be easily hidden. For BoaF, a large part of it is exploring the clans’ cultures before they made the village so this necessitates actually fleshing out said clans. Naori and Izuna are v similar in personality and both live to prank Madara and annoy him, but they hardly ever team up bc they start squabbling amongst themselves. Hikakku is stoic and calm in contrast to Naori’s mania and Madara’s intensity but he keeps track of every little favor and Madara dreads the day he’ll act on them because he knows it’ll result in something embarrassing for him. But like all BoaF!Uchiha, they’re fiercely protective of one another and you really don’t want to insult the wrong person. 

OoT - Madara & Naruto or Madara & Sai

I really Madara and Naruto’s dynamic, it’s very entertaining and fun for me to write and they’re both positive influences on each other. Madara gets more people to smother with his brand of affection and Naruto gets early recognition and training. Their weird non-training shenanigans (coupon collecting, gaming, etc.) also is p amusing. Madara and Sai have a similar relationship but I really like writing theirs from Sai’s POV bc he insists that he doesn’t feel close/like when Madara treats him like a little brother when he really does. 

NOTP:

Madatobi (Madara x Tobirama)

Logically, I know why this pairing is popular. Fanfic is saturated with the enemies to lovers trope yet emotionally I Do Not Understand it. Personally, I don’t enjoy toxic relationships, to read or write. And, to me, that’s what a close canon Madara and Tobirama pairing would be. Tobirama tried to convince Hashirama to kill him, he killed Izuna, even if it was in war, and I don’t think Madara could or would get over that. If Tobirama has similar attitudes about the Uchiha it makes it worse. AUs exist to rewrite this, of course, but I still don’t enjoy their romantic chemistry. At best, I like Tobirama and Madara as reluctant frenemies who insult each other and try to one-up each other. 

Favorite headcanon:

Madara is fire proof. 

I have a whole rant about this in OoT’s author notes 😂 Sasuke’s Amaterasu should have been a serious threat when it hit him. Instead the man just lets his clothes fall off then kicks their asses. He’s fire proof.

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In response to the ask game:

[jenonctcity]

My Addiction - Part 2

Differences – Lee Donghyuck

Part of the Bad Boy Series.

Badboy!Au

Warnings: Explicit Content, Fighting, Mentions of Blood, Drugs.

Word Count: 6.1k

Haechan had started his day off by waking up at the early time off 11am, which wasn’t early at all, but to Haechan that was an early start. After he’d laid in bed and scrolled through his Twitter feed aimlessly for a solid half an hour, he decided it was time to do something productive. He left his room, went for a pee, brushed his teeth, then decided he felt gross so had a quick shower, jerked off in the shower, got interrupted by Jaemin complaining he was taking too long, argued with Jaemin through the bathroom door, got dressed, had some toast, and finally sat down on the sofa with his phone in his hand ready to scroll through his Facebook feed.

“So,” Jeno’s voice made him look up from his phone, looking over at the blond-haired boy who had a dark bruise on his jaw from where your fist had connected with it. He held back the small smile that tried to fight its way onto his face and he wondered if your knuckles were sore at all from the brief encounter. “Why did you sweep (Y/N) away so quickly last night?” Haechan raised an eyebrow at his friends’ word, lowering his phone as Jeno now had his full attention.

“How do you know her name?” He asked, not having any inkling of an idea as to how Jeno knows your name.

“She went to our school.” Jeno shrugged. Haechan furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, how comes Jeno could remember you from school but he couldn’t? Him and Jeno spent nearly all of their time together in school, so when did he notice you?

“Yeah, I know that, I just didn’t think you’d remember her…”

“Anyway, are you two dating?”

“No!” Haechan quickly denied Jeno’s allegation, not wanting him to think that he was dating someone. Haechan didn’t like to date women. Instead he preferred to fuck them and maybe do it again sometime. He didn’t see the point in being tied down to someone when all he wanted to do was fuck other women. He didn’t want to end up like his father and cheat on his significant other, he refused to stoop that low. So if he didn’t have a girlfriend, then there was no one to cheat on. He has had girlfriends in the past, but they didn’t last long, mainly because they were too clingy and wanted his attention all the time.

“So you just took her home? But you were gone for ages.” Jeno seemed persistent with wanting to know what the two of them had been up to. Haechan didn’t particularly want Jeno to know he fucked your brains out in the back of his car, just in case Jeno knew something about you from school that he didn’t know. Something like you used to lick peoples lockers or some shit that is embarrassing.

“Erm we got hot chocolate and then I took her home. I had to calm her down, you had really pissed her off.” His words were kind of true, so he didn’t feel too bad about lying to Jeno. After he’d dropped you off at your home, he’d received a text from you, a few more messages later you’d both established a friends with benefits kind of relationship. “So anyway, what did you do to piss her off? She wouldn’t tell me.” He neglected to tell Jeno that the only reason he didn’t know why you’d punched Jeno was because he was too busy flirting with you and trying to get in your pants to have asked.

“I stood her friend up.” He shrugged with a sigh, before both of them turned their attention to the tiny toddler who came running into the room, with Renjun following close behind her.

“Who is going to be the best Uncle and watch Jiyeon for me for an hour?” Renjun asked with a smile on his face. The small baby that was starting to look more and more like her father every time Haechan saw her came running up to him with a smile plastered on her face. She’d only been waking for about a week, and she’d gotten a good grasp of it, running around everywhere and making it hard for everyone to keep tabs on her.

“I think she’s picked Uncle Haechanie.” Jeno sniggered, standing up quickly. “Besides I’m going to the gym, she can’t come with me.” Haechan groaned, but reached down and picked Jiyeon up anyway, setting her on the sofa beside him.

“1-hour Renjun and then I’m putting her up for adoption.” He spoke with a deadpan expression, but everyone knew he was only teasing, and he could end up watching her for multiple hours without caring.

“Deal. Just don’t give her to Jaemin.” Renjun laughed, quickly leaving with Jeno following him. Haechan looked down at the toddler sat beside him, letting out a long sigh before changing the television channel onto a kid’s cartoon.

---

It took you a few days to get over the overwhelming come down that had you teetering on the edge of a nervous breakdown. But you didn’t know what you expected, you always had the same experience after taking drugs, but that never seemed to stop you from taking the drugs. You burrowed yourself away in your house and called in sick to your dreary job at the local café which you hated more than anything. But after leaving school without achieving anything to prove your intelligence, you were stuck with a crappy job that barely paid your rent. But once you were over your headache, nausea, and paranoia, you decided it was time to get some dick…and some more drugs. You collected the money you’d saved up and shoved it in your pocket, putting on a simple pair of grey sweatpants with a black, long sleeved top that clung to your body. It was simply, but sexy. And you hoped Haechan thought the same thing. You didn’t bother texting him, deciding to surprise him with some sex. Men loved to be surprised by sex. Well that’s what you assumed.

After walking for twenty minutes you found yourself stood outside of the familiar doorway, running a hand through your hair and giving it a ruffle to try and bring on the sexy aura as you waited for someone to answer the door. You put on a subtle pout and put your hands on your hips as you waited. But as the door opened, you visibly deflated, a short, irritated sigh leaving your lips as your eyes laid on Jeno. He looked you up and down, folding his arms over his chest and leaning against the doorframe. He was wearing a white, sleeveless shirt that showed off his muscular biceps, completely clean of any tattoos. You knew he could probably throw you through the wall on the other side of the hallway, but he didn’t seem to want to kill you unlike he had after you’d punched him. You then noticed the white wraps he had around both of his hands and the sweat that dripped down the side of his face, his blond hair sticking to his forehead.

“Is Haechan here?” You didn’t bother greeting him, still pissed about what he did to your friend Leah.

“No.” He shook his head, running one of his hands over his head to push back his hair. “Do you want to come in? I want to ask you something…” Your first reaction to Jeno’s invite was to crease your eyebrows in confusion, your next reaction was to shrug and let yourself into the apartment, completely waking past him and navigating your way through the hallway to the living room. Jeno raised his eyebrows in surprise that you didn’t put up a fight and just let yourself in. He shut the door and followed you, seeing you sat on the sofa and making yourself comfortable before he sat beside you, keeping a space big enough for another person between you.

“So, what do you want to ask me?” You sat crossed legged on the sofa, keeping your eyes on Jeno in case he tried to pull anything as it seemed like no one else was in the apartment apart from the two of you. He slowly started to unwrap his hands, but kept his eyes on you, looking you in the eyes as he took a deep breath. You noticed the very faint bruise on his jaw from where you’d punched him and tried to hold back a smirk.

“Before I ask you anything, I’d like to apologise to you for how I acted last week, I shouldn’t have gotten mad at you for you sticking up for your friend when it was me who did the shitty thing and stood her up. So yeah, sorry about that. By the way, I would never had hurt you. I would never physically hurt a woman.”  This had your face contorting into a smirk as you decided to lay the pressure on the boy sat beside you.

“So if you were fucking me from behind and I asked you to spank me, you wouldn’t do it?” Jeno almost choked on his own spit as your words hit his ears. His thick eyebrows raised, and his head darted forward slightly, a confused noise leaving his throat as he processed your words.

“I-I…well yeah…erm…anyway,” He stuttered over his words, blinking a few times as he tried to change to steer the conversation back to where it had started off. “I’m sorry…” You could see the sincerity in his eyes, and it was hard to imagine that this is the boy who had shown nothing but aggression towards you upon your first encounter with him. You remember him from school, but you hadn’t ever spoken to him, so you had to count last week as your first interaction with him. The boy that sat in front of you had soft eyes and a low, but soft tone to match his eyes.

“You’re forgiven. But you’re banned from going on any dates with my friends. Understood?”  Your voice showed a lot of dominance which had a smile tugging at his lips as he nodded his head in confirmation.

“Yes boss…So are you and Haechan dating?” He put the wraps he had on his hand on the coffee table in front of you both and flexed his hands out, the veins prominent and causing your eyes to dart towards them. Your eyes trailed up his arms, noticing that the veins were showing on his biceps and forearms as well. He had a really good physique, and it was obvious to you that he worked out. You let out a soft laugh and shake your head.

“No, we’re just friends.”

“Oh, cool.” He turned his body more towards you once he was 100% sure that you and Haechan weren’t dating, because although Haechan had already told him that the two of you weren’t dating, he was pretty sure that his younger friend was lying to him. “I didn’t think that the two of you spoke at school.” This had your ears pricking up. Whenever anyone mentioned that they remembered you from school you always felt your heart rate speed up in anxiousness.

“We didn’t…did he tell you we did?” Your voice was now weaker, your courage dwindling as you tried to play it cool not wanting him to see your internalised panic.

“No I just assumed that you did because we all went to the same school.” You quickly shook your head and cleared your throat.

“You remember me from school?” You weren’t sure you wanted to hear his answer, but you’d already let the words slip from your mouth, so it was too late.

“Yeah, I spent a lot of time people watching. You were quiet, nose always in a book with your uniform perfect, you sat alone at lunch and I remember that you punched a girl in the nose before you disappeared. And the next time I see you you’re punching me in the face too.” He let out a laugh, clearly finding the circumstances ironic. “No one knew why you disappeared, to be honest not many people talked about it.” You bit your bottom lip and glanced down, feeling the rush of reminiscence as it came to you. It didn’t feel good though, in fact it left a horrible taste in your mouth. You felt slightly touched that Jeno had remembered you though, not many people you encountered from high school since leaving actually remembered that you went to school with them.

“I got kicked out. That’s why I disappeared.” Your voice was softer and Jeno could sense that he touched a nerve. He smiled slightly and let out a soft sigh.

“You haven’t got to explain yourself to me if you don’t want to.” He reached out, hesitantly placing his hand on your own as it sat on your knee. You looked up in surprise, your eyes flicking from his hand to his eyes. There was something about the blond guy that made you feel safe and secure, and it wasn’t just his physical appearance. You hardly knew him, but as you looked at him it was hard to believe that this was the man who had the heart to stand up your friend. You could see that he was genuinely curious as to why you got kicked out of school and ended up where you are now. A thought popped into your head, and before you could filter it, it was already leaving your lips.

“I’ll tell you my story if you tell me why you stood Leah up.” You felt his hand squeeze your own, before he lifted your palm into his and shook it like you were making a deal.

“Deal.” He dropped your hand and instead placed his hand back in his own lap, his other arm laying across the back of the sofa behind you, almost like he had his arm around you.

“The girl I punched was trying to spread a rumour around that I had chlamydia, I confronted her, and she started to laugh in my face. I’d had enough of people thinking I was just a weak, quiet girl, so I punched her. Of course the teachers came running and next thing I know, I’m being kicked out for aggression. I got a job at a small restaurant and met this guy…” You paused as the thought of your first boyfriend came into your mind. He was the only guy you’d ever dated, and once the relationship was over, you’d decided not to commit to another man that could break you in the way he did. You took a deep breath and looked into Jeno’s eyes. “He was sweet at first, but then after we started sleeping together, he changed. I then found out he was addicted to drugs, he’d do all sorts, but it was mostly heroin. I made the mistake of trusting him, and the sex turned…awful. I started to smoke weed just before we’d have sex so I wouldn’t really be focused on it.” You felt your throat tighten, but you willed your emotions away, not wanting Jeno to see your weakness. “In the end it wasn’t enough, and I’d steal some of his cocaine just to put up with the sex.”

“Why did you keep having sex with him then?” Jeno piped up before you could continue on with your story.

“He would get violent if I didn’t…in the end he got locked up for drug dealing just after I broke things off with him.” It felt strange telling somebody your story, but it also felt like a weight had been lifted from your shoulders.

“Asshole.” He mumbled, his fists clenching as he looked away from you, not wanting to see the pain that laid behind your glistening eyes. But it then occurred to him that you were probably looking for Haechan tonight because you wanted what he was known for selling.

“Yep…” You awkwardly smiled, your palms sweaty as you rubbed them against your sweatpants to try and dry them. Jeno didn’t try to dig anymore, instead deciding to steer your mind away from your own past by holding up his end of the deal.

“I stood Leah up because I had a fight that I needed to go to, also because I didn’t really feel like going on a date that evening. I know it’s a shitty excuse, but I didn’t think about how it would hurt her feelings.” You let out a laugh and bit your bottom lip. Jeno tilted his head, a small smile playing on his lips as he watched you. “Why are you laughing?”

“Because Leah’s feelings weren’t hurt. She was just mad that she wasn’t going to get any dick that night, so she pretended she was upset when she called me to rant.” You shrugged and watched as his smile grew, his eyes slowly becoming less visible as you noticed his eyes turned into crescent moons when he found something amusing. “She’s a bit of…hmm…how do I word this? ...she likes to sleep around basically, and she’s over it now. To be honest you probably dodged a bullet, she’s a bit of a nightmare with men.”

“So why did you punch me?!” He laughed along with you.

“Because I thought she was genuinely upset at first! Then I told her what I did, and she told me that she wasn’t that bothered. I was being a good friend!” You tried to justify your actions, but Jeno didn’t look like he cared that much that you’d hit him. In fact he seemed to find the whole thing rather amusing.

“You have one hell of a punch on you for a gi-” He was cut off by your fist colliding with his arm. “Ow!” It didn’t hurt him, but he pretend it did and rubbed at the spot you’d hit.

“For a girl?! You deserved that one.” You shook your head, amusement still evident on your face. You weren’t offended by the sexist remark he was about to make because you could tell it was all in jest.

“Okay fair enough, I was only joking by the way, I know how many girls who could probably put me on my ass.”

“You said you fight? What do you mean by that?”

“I do underground fighting. It’s not legal, but its good money. And I’m good at it.” He smirked, clearly proud of himself for his work. You opened your mouth to reply but before you could the sound of men’s voices and the front door closing echoed throughout the apartment. You and Jeno both turned your attention to the doorway as Haechan, Jaemin, and Renjun came through the door. You remembered Jaemin from when he answered the door and nearly felt your wrath the week prior. And you remembered Renjun from school. The more you looked at Jaemin though, the more his face looked familiar to you from when you went to school together.

“You’re back early.” Jeno raised an eyebrow as they all made themselves comfortable on the sofas. Haechan’s eyes attached onto you and stayed focused on you when he realised who the girl was sat beside Jeno. He frowned, jealous that you’d been alone with Jeno, his possessiveness shining through despite him not really having any attachment to you. His eyes didn’t fail to notice how Jeno’s arm was on the back of the sofa behind you either, making his frown deepen. He flopped down between you and Jeno without any shame, prompting Jeno to remove his arm from the back of the sofa.

“We got kicked out of the club.” Jaemin spoke, kicking off his shoes and relaxing back on the sofa cushions, the television remote in his grip.

“Why?” Jeno asked with confusion evident on his face.

“They thought we were snorting coke in the toilets.” Jaemin shrugged and turned on the television, not taking his eyes off of it as he spoke to Jeno.

“Were you snorting coke?” You asked with an amused tone in your voice. Jaemin suddenly turned his attention towards you like it was the first time he’d actually noticed your presence. He sniffed and cleared his throat, turning his attention back to the television.

“…Yeah…” He mumbled causing you to let out a short laugh. Haechan cleared his throat, turning to look at you. He gave you a look that said he was confused, and you assumed he was confused about your presence. You stood up and smiled awkwardly.

“I’m going to get going, see ya.”

“Wait I’ll drive you home.” Jeno stood up too. You didn’t notice but Haechan gave Jeno a look that could kill.

“It’s fine you don’t have to!” You felt bad that he wanted to drive you home, not wanting him to go out of his way for you.

“Actually,” Haechan stood up, getting between the both of you subtly. “I have some things I want to speak to (Y/N) about, so I’ll take her.” He put as much dominance in his words as he could, and Jeno just shrugged. You didn’t bother arguing, not really caring which one of the boys took you home. But you could kind of sense the testosterone levels rising in the air, as if the two of them were about to have a pissing match. Just as Haechan started to lead you out of the room, Jeno called out to you.

“(Y/N) wait,” He rushed over to you, pulling phone out from his pocket. “Give me your number and I’ll text you. Just in case you wanted someone to talk to or if you ever get into a sticky situation.” You glanced up at Haechan, see that he averted his hard gaze so that he wasn’t watching either of you. But you also noticed that his jaw was clenched.

“Sure!” You smirked, taking his phone and saved your number into it, passing it back to him. You thought it was funny that Haechan was getting this possessive and jealous over his friend when he was the one who was fucking you, not Jeno. “Bye Jeno.” You both said your goodbyes and Haechan pulled the front door shut with a loud bang.

“Why were you there with Jeno?” He didn’t waste time in asking you the burning question that was on his mind, his hand on your wrist as he guided you down the many stairs to the entrance of the apartment building.

“Well,” You started, but paused as you got into his car, pulling on your seatbelt before continuing. “I was there for you; thought I’d surprise you with some pussy.” You shrugged, looking over at him to see his reaction. He bit his bottom lip, starting the car up before looking at you. He had lust burning like a fire behind his dark eyes, it only being visible from the streetlight that he was parked underneath. He licked his bottom lip, starting to drive as erotic thoughts ran through his head.

“You’re a dirty girl, that doesn’t answer my question though. Why were you with Jeno?”

“Are you jealous?” You shot right back at him, making his jaw clench again and his knuckles to turn white as his grip on the steering wheel got harder.

“No. Answer the god damn question (Y/N).”

“Fine! He just apologised for standing my friend up and we got talking. That’s it. He’s really nice actually.” You could tell that your words had relieved some of the tension in Haechan’s shoulders, his body visibly relaxing as he realised that nothing happened between his friend and his fuck buddy.

“Yeah he is…” He sighed, not really wanting to feel hostile towards the man that was more like his brother than his friend. “Did he tell you he remembers you from school?”

“He did…we talked about that.” You didn’t really want to go through the whole story again with Haechan, but you wanted to get it out of the way with, so you cleared your throat nervously and gave him a brief run down about your past like you had with Jeno. He listened to you, stopping outside your apartment complex and turning to face you.

“Is that why you wanted drugs when he fucked?” He looked down at his lap, not really knowing how he should be feeling about everything you’d just opened up to him about. He felt a bit sick now that he knew why you wanted drugs, but he didn’t feel like he could be the person to tell you to stop doing them, not knowing you well enough to feel like he could do that. He felt a little bit numb but hid it well.

“Yes. I just relate sex with being high. I only told you because I didn’t want Jeno to tell you and then you would be mad because I didn’t tell you.” You shrugged, taking off your seatbelt. “Anyway, thanks for the ride.” You opened the door but paused when Haechan piped up.

“I understand, but you don’t have to do that when we have sex. I’ll never make you do anything you don’t want to do. I just want you to know that.” He gave you a soft smile and it was the first time you’d seen him be so sincere and sweet. It made your heart flutter in a way that it hadn’t in a long time. But you ignored it, knowing it was dangerous to let your heart do that in response to something a man had said, a man who you only had a sexual relationship with.  “Besides, I can make you feel good enough that you don’t need that shit.” You couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corner of your lips.

“Thanks…hey do you want to come in?” You let out a gentle laugh and winked at him. “Put your money where your mouth is?” He let out a laugh, a smug smile on his face as he thought about your offer. He opened his door and got out of the car, the two of you walking up to your apartment together, his hand resting on your ass.

---

Weeks flew by, and you found yourself splitting your time between work, getting your back blown out by Haechan, and spending time with Jeno. Haechan didn’t know that you were spending time with Jeno, and Jeno didn’t know that you had been riding Haechan’s dick four times a week. It didn’t matter to you though, because you didn’t think either of them needed to know. Jeno was just a friend, and Haechan was just a friend you fucked. Who you chose to spend your time with was neither of their concerns. What you had noticed was your growing affections for the drug dealer that you shared a bed with. There was something about how he was kiss you just before ravaging your body that caused your stomach to fill with butterflies. It scared you. But you knew that you’d broken the one rule you’d set aside for yourself. The rule of not catching feelings for Haechan. But it happened so quick that you couldn’t stop it. He was a gentle lover…sometimes. And you felt like you had a constant craving for the feel of his lips on your own. No wonder they say that love is like a drug, it’s addictive, and you felt like you could stop taking all the other drugs you did in favour of having Haechan. You wanted to do more than just have sex with him, like hold his hand, go on dates, get food together. But you couldn’t tell him this, it would more than likely scare him away, and then you wouldn’t have him at all, which was worse than supressing your feelings for him. Sometimes you thought that maybe it would be better if you had caught feelings for Jeno. He was a caring man, and you really enjoyed his company. Which is why you found yourself going on a date with him. The date went well, but you still couldn’t force yourself to feel romantic feelings for Jeno. You didn’t have the heart to tell him this, so you just ignored his messages for the past 24 hours and hoped he didn’t see you as you snuck into Haechan’s room the night after.

Haechan had your legs over his shoulder, jackhammering his hips into yours as you whined from the intense feeling of your orgasm slowly building, like a fire having fuel splashed over it. The bed squeaked underneath your bodies in time to Haechan’s hard cock hitting all the right places inside of you. Beads of sweat trailed down the side of his face, the vein in his neck prominent as he put all his force into the motion of his hips.

“Fuuuuck.” You whimpered; your arms pinned above your head on the pillow by one of his hands. You wanted to touch him, but he was restricting you from doing so, so instead you squeezed your eyes shut and tried to cope with the ministrations he was doing to your body.

“Jeno can’t fuck you like I can.” He grunted into your ear unexpectedly, causing your stomach to drop.

“Huh?” You were confused as to why he suddenly brought up Jeno while he was balls deep inside of you.

“The way he looks at you, you don’t see it, but I do. He wants to do to you what I’m doing to you so badly baby girl.” His voice was low, and you moaned involuntarily as the ball inside of you wound itself tighter, your orgasm knocking at the door. You didn’t want to tell him that you did in fact see the way that Jeno looks at you. He looks at you with affection and infatuation in his eyes. Of course you’d seen it, but Haechan hadn’t been able to see past his own jealousy to see that Jeno wanted more than just to fuck you. It surprised you that Jeno hadn’t even told Haechan about the date he’d taken you on, but you didn’t really want to message Jeno to ask him why.

“I’m yours.” The sultry way that those wicked words left your lips had Haechan letting out a high-pitched whine, his hips stilling as his cock released hot ropes of cum inside of your warm walls. He continued to ram his hips inside of you after he got over the initial feeling of his orgasm, your own high rocking through you like a raging bull as your toes curled and thighs started to quiver on his shoulders.

“Yeah, you are mine.” He growled, slowly pulling your legs from his shoulders and grabbing the towel he’d left on the floor from his shower the night prior. He cleaned the both of you up before he pulled a joint out of his bedside table. He lit it and took a long drag before he laid in bed beside you, pulling you to his bare chest and holding the joint to your lips. You took a puff and released the smoke into the air. This is the closest thing to affection you’d ever had from Haechan, and it was merely some cuddling after sex. “Why didn’t you tell me that you went on a date with Jeno?” His question shocked you, because you assumed he had absolutely no idea about it. You gulped, your stomach flipping as your words got caught in your throat. “He really likes you, how the hell could I crush my best friend by telling him that I’ve been having sex with you for the past month when he finally finds a girl that he likes?” His voice had a tone to it that you couldn’t quite put your finger on, but it left you with a guilty feeling in your stomach.

“He told you this…?”

“Yes, after he got back from your date last night. I had no idea you’d even been spending time with him…” He took another drag of the weed and let his head fall back against the pillow.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you; I didn’t think it would matter.” You awkwardly played with his duvet, guilt sitting heavy on your heart.

“I don’t care. Date whoever you want,” Those words turned your guilt into hurt. You wanted him to care. It made you wish even harder that you felt things for Jeno and that you were in Jeno’s arms, purely because you knew he cared for you. “I just feel bad for Jeno…” You didn’t respond to him, instead letting the haze of weed take over your body as you took another drag from the joint.

“Haechan have you heard from (Y/N) at all?” The voice sounded just before the door opened. “I haven’t hea-” Jeno paused in the doorway, his hand still on the doorknob as his eyes landed on you and Haechan, naked…in bed…together. “What the fuck?!” His face hardened, his eyebrows scrunching up and his jaw clenching. You gasped, quickly jumping out of bed with the duvet on your body, completely exposing Haechan as he jumped up from the bed on the other side. Your eyes widened as you stared at Jeno, your mouth opening and closing as you tried to form words.

“It’s not what it looks like.” Haechan spoke, pulling on his boxers and a t-shirt quickly.

“Then what the fuck is it huh? Kinda funny how I tell you that I like her, then suddenly she isn’t replying to my texts, and now I find you in bed together!” Jeno’s voice raised, anger prominent on his features as he approached Haechan.

“Back off Jeno.” Haechan wasn’t afraid to stand up to Jeno and it shows, despite how much aggression and intimidation Jeno was showing in that moment. You hadn’t seen this side of Jeno since the night you’d punched him, and you forgot how scary he could look. You stayed silent, knowing you couldn’t do anything to cease the fight about to happen.

“Fuck off. You’re supposed to be my fucking friend and you pull this shit.” Jeno shoved Haechan hard, to which Haechan responded by clenching his fists and getting in Jeno’s face.

“Stop!” You cried out, watching with worried eyes, but neither of the men paid any attention to you.

“I’ve been fucking her for the past month, and you didn’t even know.” Haechan whispered, a smirk playing on his lips as he taunted Jeno, not meaning to be horrible to his brother but not wanting to be showed up like that in front of you. Jeno raised his fist and within the blink of an eye the two of them were throwing fists at each other like teenager boys fighting over their crush. Instead of two men fighting over a troubled woman.

“Stop!” You screamed, tears filling your eyes as you watched Jeno shove Haechan up against the wall, clearly winning the fight with his experience. You didn’t even notice when Renjun and Jaemin ran into the room and separated two of them, tears streaming down your cheeks as you cried for the first time in over a year. Jaemin held Jeno back, and Renjun held Haechan back, as both of them struggled to get to each other. Haechan’s nose was clearly broken, blood streaming down over his lips and Jeno having hardly any damage to his face.

“You need to fucking choose (Y/N). Me or him?” Jeno shouted at you, causing you to flinch. All four men went still as their eyes trained on you, still stood in the corner of the room with the duvet bundled up to your chest. You shook your head, unable to process your thoughts as you looked between the two men. One of them not showing that he had any feelings towards you, and that you were just a body to keep his bed warm when he wanted it. The other a soft-hearted man who looked at you like he could give you the world. You were trying to choose between heartache or love. A love that could potentially end up in heartache as you didn’t feel the way he felt towards you. “Pick one!” He was getting impatient, his voice cracking as it started to dawn on him what had happened. Haechan wiped at his face, smearing the blood as he watched you.

You continuously looked between the two of them, gripping at the fabric of the duvet tighter and gulping as you spoke. Before turning to the man you decided to choose.

“I choose you…”

---

Hey! Thanks for reading! What do you think is going to happen next? Let me know your thoughts, I love feedback so please tell me what you think.

[amanda-glassen]

The Wonder Years: Ch.2

Part of @svuappreciation #WSVU Week Day 1: Getting ready for a party. While getting ready for her first school dance, twelve-year-old Olivia starts a path toward discovering who she is truly meant to be. Sequel to this post 

Olivia loved the outfit she and her mom had picked out, but when she looked in the mirror the next morning, there was still one thing she wanted to change about herself－her hair. Olivia’s shoulder length hair was usually in a ponytail for the purpose of keeping it out of her way when she played sports, but that morning, she realized she wanted a change. She wanted to have her hair neatly cropped like Jamie’s－her mom’s new girlfriend. Olivia had met her two weeks ago when their relationship became official and, although she wasn’t into sports or anything else Olivia was interested in, she made her mom happy and, if her mom liked her, Olivia wanted to give her a chance. 

What she found intriguing was that Jamie didn’t wear dresses and heels and makeup like her mom. She wore ties and vests when they went out on dates and her mom used words like ‘handsome’ and ‘debonair’ to describe her to her friends instead of ‘pretty’ or ‘beautiful’ and, when she looked at her hair in the mirror that morning, she realized she wanted to be handsome and debonair, too. Maybe not debonair after all, Olivia thought. I did run away when Alex flirted with me for the first time. 

Three hours later, Olivia found herself sitting in a chair at a barbershop that Jamie worked at. It was upscale, but made to look rustic, and most of the employees and the patrons were twenty-something and thirty-something hipsters with beards and flannel shirts. Jamie and Olivia were two of only three females there, but Olivia loved the vibe and the way she was made to feel like she fit in. 

“I want my hair like yours,” Olivia told Jamie once she sat down in the chair. Jamie’s hair was neatly cut into a classic side part haircut and Olivia knew it was the look for her.

With every inch of her hair that was cut, Olivia felt like she was becoming who she was always meant to be. She didn’t have to feel confused anymore or worry about why she didn’t fit into the cookie cutter expectation of what a girl should be. Olivia Margaret Benson could now define her identity on her own terms.

As soon as Jamie was finished, Olivia walked over to the chairs in the waiting area to show her mom. “Mom, how do I look?”

Serena nearly gasped when she saw her daughter. “Come closer so I can get a better look at you.” She began to touch her daughter’s newly cropped hair. “You little Cassanova. Look at you!  I’m not letting you go out tonight. I don’t want Alex and every other girl at the dance to fall in love with you and steal you away from me.”

“Mom!” Olivia giggled. “I look okay?”

“Very handsome,” Serena responded. She playfully kissed her daughter’s cheek and Olivia giggled again as she tried to wipe off the red lipstick print that her mom had left on her cheek.

“Mom, not in front of the guys,” Olivia said while she looked around to make sure no one was watching.

“I’m not letting you wash that lipstick off,” Serena teased. “I’m going to make sure it stays on your cheek to deter Alex from kissing you there.”

Olivia smirked. “She’ll just kiss me on the lips.”

“Ollie!” Serena’s eyes grew wide. “That’s it. No dating until you’re twenty.”

Olivia noticed Jamie walking over with a face wipe in hand. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

“Here, kid,” she said as she handed it to Olivia. “I keep these at my station because your mom has a tendency to mark her territory. Just be grateful she didn’t wear her burgundy lipstick. That stuff stained my cheek for the rest of the day. But, Ollie, I’ll be over in a couple of hours to help you get ready for tonight. I have some gifts for you, too.”

“Really?” Olivia asked. “Thanks!” Under normal circumstances, only her mom would be able to get away with calling her Ollie, but since gifts were involved, she figured one more person calling her Ollie couldn’t hurt.

As soon as she got home, Olivia scarfed down a frozen pizza for dinner despite her mom offering to make something much healthier. “Frozen pizza gives me energy,” Olivia told her. “And now that there’s less than ninety minutes until it’s time to leave, I need all the energy I can get.”

While her daughter was eating, Serena began to iron Olivia’s outfit, mainly because she didn’t trust her twelve-year-old’s ironing skills before such an important event in her life. 

“Mom! I’ll get it!” Olivia called out when she heard a knock at their door. It’s Jamie with my gifts! Olivia opened the door to find Jamie holding a dozen roses and she tried unsuccessfully to hide the look of disappointment on her face when she figured that might be her gift. 

“Relax, kid,” Jamie laughed. “Only one of these is for you. Eleven are for me to give to my woman and one is for you to give to yours.”

“...girls really like this sort of thing?” Olivia asked as she examined the perfect red rose Jamie had handed to her. 

“A single red rose is one of the most romantic things you can give your girlfriend,” Jamie pointed out. 

“Then why eleven for my mom?”

“Because eleven months ago today, I had my first date with the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on,” Jamie smiled at her.

Olivia gave her a confused look. “You started dating her eleven months ago and she barely became your girlfriend two weeks ago. What took so long?”

Jamie tousled Olivia’s hair. “You of all people should know that you can’t tell Serena Benson what to do. If it were up to me, she would have become my girlfriend the day I met her, but I wanted to wait until she was ready. Even if I had to wait years, your mom is worth the wait.”

“Was I supposed to hear that?” Serena asked when she entered the living room. She had changed into a somewhat short black sweater dress and black stilettos with a 4 inch heel. How anyone could walk in those was beyond Olivia and she could imagine herself falling the moment she took her first step. I’d probably look like a baby giraffe learning how to walk. 

“You look incredible.” Olivia noticed Jamie get up and make her way over to her mom. Do not kiss my mom. Much to Olivia’s chagrin, she did kiss her and even if it was a chaste kiss it made her mom smile in a way that Olivia had never seen her smile before and she was practically beaming when Jamie gave her the flowers. I still don’t want to see anyone kissing my mommy, though.

Olivia made a mental note to compliment Alex’s appearance and give her the rose. I guess girls really do go for that sort of thing. I wonder what else Jamie can teach me.

“Ollie, go get dressed,” Serena urged her. “We have to leave in an hour.”

Olivia groaned. “It doesn’t take an hour to put on pants and a shirt. The game is about to start.”

"Ollie!" Serena gritted her teeth. "Go get dressed."

"Oh, I get it," Olivia tried and failed to wink. "Get rid of the kid so you can kiss."

"No," Serena responded. She held out her hands to help her reluctant daughter off the couch despite the fact that Olivia would miss the first pitch of the Mets game. "I'm getting rid of my kid because she volunteered me to drive her and her girlfriend to the dance without telling me until today and I don't want Mrs. Cabot judging me for being late. I saw her at the parent/teacher conferences last trimester. The woman is...judgy."

"Judgy?" Jamie laughed. "Judgy says the Ivy League English professor. I know you're 10 or 15 years younger than the other moms but you're 33 and 33 is not a child, Serena."

"You're only saying that because you've yet to see Mrs. Cabot's 'you're an irresponsible Millennial' look," Serena responded, finally able to get Olivia off of the couch and away from the Mets game. "She looks you up and down as if she is judging every little detail of your appearance, smirks, and then looks you up and down again."

"Maybe she's just checking you out," Jamie shrugged. "Ever think of that?"

"I'm not even going to dignify that with a response," Serena gently tugged Olivia’s arm. "Come on, Ollie."

Putting her outfit on took less than two minutes, so Olivia wondered why her mom made her get ready so early until she remembered that Jamie had some more gifts for her, one of which was a product for her hair. They were soon standing in front of the vanity mirror in her mom’s bedroom and Olivia was about to begin her first lesson. “This is my favorite pomade,” Jamie told her. “Your girl is gonna love the way it looks on you, kid.”

“Hopefully not too much,” Serena cut in. “She’s still my little Ollie.”

“Babe, your little Ollie has a date to get ready for,” Jamie reminded her. Olivia didn’t exactly approve of anyone calling her mom ‘babe,’ but she was eager for Jamie’s lesson to begin so she could look good for Alex. “Okay, kid, get a dime sized amount on your fingers and rub them together to get it all over your fingertips. We’re gonna keep your hair parted on the side just the way it is, but now we’re gonna slick this front part back and the side down. Move your fingers from just near the roots all the way to the tips and then use the palm of your hand to smooth your hair back.” 

Olivia tried to mimic Jamie’s motions but she wasn’t pleased with the end result. “Why didn’t mine come out as good as yours?”

“I’ve had years of practice, kid,” Jamie said as she fixed Olivia’s hair. “It’ll become second nature before you know it and when you run out of this stuff let me know and I’ll get you some more.”

“Thanks, Jamie,” Olivia responded while she admired her new hairstyle in the mirror. 

“Next is your cologne. What do you usually wear?”

“A gummy bear scented body spray,” Olivia said sheepishly. 

“Hey, don’t be shy about that,” Jamie said as she placed her hand on Olivia’s shoulder. “That’s fine to wear for school or when you’re hanging out with your friends. I have an everyday body spray, too, and then cologne that I wear for more special occasions like when I take your mom out on a date.” She turned to face Serena. “Babe, can you get the cologne from my overnight bag?” Overnight bag? She’s staying overnight and calling my mom ‘babe’ again? But if my mom is happy then I guess she’s okay.

Serena handed Olivia the small bottle of Abercrombie & Fitch cologne that Jamie had purchased for her. “I don’t approve of you wearing anything other than your gummy bear spray,” Serena told her. “But I’m willing to let it slide for tonight.”

“Mom,” Olivia groaned. “Can we please let Jamie work her magic here?”

“Magic?” Serena tried not to laugh. “Don’t let me stand in the way of the magic woman herself.”

“I managed to get the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on,” Jamie reminded her. “That means I must have done something right.” That statement earned Jamie a few kisses, so Olivia decided to make a mental note. Compliments lead to kisses, so be sure to compliment Alex the entire night. What am I saying? I’ll probably faint if she kisses me.

“Okay, Ollie, spritz some of the cologne on yourself here and here,” Jamie said as she pointed to her neck and wrists. “Remember a little goes a long way. You don’t want your girl to start choking when she’s near you. This was my favorite when I was your age and I think you’ll like it, too.”

Olivia spritzed a small amount just as Jamie had instructed her. It smelled somewhat woodsy and very masculine and Olivia had a feeling Alex was going to love it on her.

“Your turn, Serena,” Olivia heard Jamie say.

“What do you mean?” Olivia asked worriedly. 

“Relax, kid,” Jamie laughed. “Now it’s your mom’s turn to work her magic with the styling. She styles me all the time. I don’t know how but most girly girls are experts with sleeves and ties. You should let Alex cuff your sleeves before your next date.”

“Okay, I have two problems with what you said,” Serena began. “One, I’m a grown woman and not a girly girly and, two, can you stop trying to turn my Olliegator into some kind of stud like you? She’s still my baby.”

“I think she’s Alex’s now,” Jamie teased, although her girlfriend was less than amused.

Olivia stood in front of her mom while she styled her long sleeves into ¾ sleeves and tied her tie. It was a more intricate process than Olivia imagined, but her mom’s delicate touch made it all seem so easy. Once her tie was tucked in under her vest, Olivia noticed her mom’s big brown eyes welling with tears.

“Mom, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she said, reaching out to touch Olivia’s cheek. “You just look so handsome, Ollie, and so grown up. I feel like just yesterday you were wanting me to cuddle you and now you’re going on your first date. It’s all happening so fast.”

Olivia gave her mom a kiss on the cheek. “Alex is my girlfriend, but I’ll always be your Ollie and I’ll always love you more than anyone else in the whole world.”

“I love you so much, darling,” Serena said softly. She knew it wouldn’t be easy to hug Olivia without wrinkling her shirt, but she tried to anyway. “I want you to enjoy yourself. Jamie is going to keep me company so I’m not a nervous wreck, and then when you get home tonight, I want you to tell me that you had the best night of your life because you deserve it, Ollie. You’re such a sweet kid and you deserve so many good things to happen to you.”

The drive to Alex’s house felt like an eternity for Olivia, especially with her mom’s playlist of ‘00s pop music playing throughout the entire drive. When Jamie pulled into the Cabot’s driveway, a pep talk felt appropriate. “You’ve got this, kid,” she said to Olivia who was nervously clutching the stem of the rose she was going to give to her girlfriend. “Alex is gonna love your new look.” Jamie then kissed Serena’s hand. “And babe, try to play nice with Mrs. Cabot.”

[shinahbee]

December favorites 2020!

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GREETINGS

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 Hello,

 So we have finally reached another year happy 2021! let's all hope this year will be kind to us, as I have mentioned in my previous favorites post, I finished my work term and now will be working on my art more

so please look out for more art coming soon!

also this maybe a little too early to think of but I was thinking of opening an etsy store to sells stickers/ keychains, this was a project that was on my mind for many years actually, but I have never really considered starting it

Please let me know if any of you would be interested if I do start one.

I would also like some ideas as to what type of characters from what show would you like to see merchandise from. I know there are some franchises that are not well known and most people wouldn’t be able to find so much as a fanart of that particular character/show

so if you could all let me know what you’d like to see in the shop I will highly consider it, with that being said I don't have any anime recs this month, mainly cause I was very busy in the month of December and have not watched any dramas or anime in a while,

so just a heads up, that part will not be included this month. The only thing I was watching is bunch of end of the year award shows, so like the drama awards and melon music awards and MAMA awards...haha that seems really boring to discuss so i'll skip that.

My friend and I were discussing and thought that they should rename these music awards as the BTS awards because they won so many lol.

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MANHWA/MANGA/WEBTOONS

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 This section of the favorites is on fire! you don’t even know how far deep the rabbit hole i`ve dug myself into.

I finally was able to save my progress and crawl back up to list a few of my favorites/ updates of the old favorites and a special segment to ones that triggered a raging response due to utter frustration

Let’s start with a review of the manhwa I have read and discussed so far

 Recap:

 1) Whose baby is it? (ongoing)

2) Social temperature (ongoing)

3) Salad days (ongoing)

4) To be or not to be (ongoing)

5) Path to you (completed)

6) Here u are (completed)

7) BJ alex (completed)

8) No way, vampires don't exist (ongoing)

 so some updates on the previous ones that I have listed out so far, with the exception of the completed ones.

 1) Who's baby is it? ; last time I read up to chapter 72 and now they have up to chapter 126 and I have to say so much more has happened in terms of story and relationship development and I especially love the development between

yi yun and his relationship with jinyao, they are acting more and more like a married couple without even knowing it. You see a gradual change within the two of them that shifts from being very comfortably being able to talk about their problems to one another to

physical touches that would make them  both nervous, I don't mean physical in a sexual way...it's not at that point yet, it's just holding hands and being near each other makes them, nervous and as an audience I felt that nervous energy

and it makes as the audience appreciate the development even if it is slow, it becomes more realistic over time.

Needless to say, I am still a giant fan girl of this author and her story and I can't wait to see this week’s chapter

 2) social temp; I said that I have read the novel so I pretty much knows what happened in the new chapters that were just out, this manhwa is updating a little slow so I have to wait to really comment

When they go further, there is a scene soon that will be the turning point of their relationship so I am excited to see that in the manhwa

 3) salad days; There is also a slow development here as well in terms of relationship building, so far they are working on their careers as professionals and dealing with bullying and jealousy from their peers

But it's all part of life so I appreciate that the author included these aspects as an important part of the story and not just focusing on romance alone.

 4) To be or not to be; you'd think a person who had studied Chinese for 8 years would be able to read the raws....nope,LOL

So far the story is going into a good direction so I'm hoping to see how this new development will play out in their relationship

 5) no way vampires don't exist; I have and fanart and long post dedicated to this alone, so please refer to those for more details. I am happy this is updating again and hopefully all of it will be translated in no time for others to enjoy

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Welcome to heaven

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Okay so that is all for the old ones that I have read, I will include updates throughout my favorites now and then if it is still ongoing.

now let's look at some new ones that I have found this month, these are just a few of the ones I selected out to talk about, but I have read much more as I have said and these were the ones that were the most memorable

 1) Unintentional love story- "Wonyoung gets unjustly suspended from work after getting caught up in a corruption scandal. But when he accidentally discovers the chairman's favorite artist Yoon Taejun living under an alias, he is tasked with a tricky new mission. Could this be Wonyoung's chance to get his job back?"

 This is the summary from the licensed lezhin website, and it pretty much sums up the story, it is still ongoing right now so I can only comment on how I feel about it so far.

I really like this story its really straight forward and focuses mainly on the two characters and how their relationship went from business partners to eventual lovers

it has minimal drama and works on moving the relationship buildup between the two main characters and I really appreciate that, it makes me less frustrated, since you know there is always that one a-hole that will never take no for an answer

i will discuss that later for the other ones I plan to discuss. But so far the story is straight forward and cute, and I really like wonyoung he is really adorable. This is a manhwa but not in the form of a webtoon, so it's black and white and read in traditional manga style

if you like a straight forward story and development please give this a read, you will enjoy it.

 2) Karasugaoka Don't Be Shy!! - "Sou Izuhara, the leader of the crime prevention group "VOICE" that protects east Karasugaoka, realizes he's in love with the man he keeps butting heads with and leader of the rival group "Karasukai," Tetsuji Shinba...!?"

 omg finally a manga recommendation? lol. you have no idea how much trouble I had remembering the title of this manga, I didn’t save it into my bookmarks and I usually did that if I was going to talk about it in the favorites.

I went through 5 websites to figure out the name but at least it was found. This story is both comedic and cute and it was a perfect break from the dark stuff I have been reading, I don't believe it has been updated in while so I'm not sure if it will ever be picked up

but there is a decent amount of chapters to get started on. But as the description says that it is a story about two crime prevention group leaders, they look like thugs but they prevent crimes from happening, so like an anti bullying campaign that recruits volunteers. two of the leaders from the largest groups apparently doesn’t get a long

on the surface but one of the leaders Izuhara really in fact admires the other leader Shinba. they start to get along after shiba went to izuharas territory to take care of some suspicious activity on that side and accidentally discovers a whole new side to izuhara due to the fact that he wasn’t wearing his glasses and didn’t know he was talking to shinba

and invited him to hang out together for that day. lol. You probably know the direction this is heading; it all starts from interest in a person right?

anways, I never recommended a  manga yet so this would be a good one to read,it has a balance of a good romantic comedy.  

 3) Semantic Error- "Computer science major Chu Sangwoo is the epitome of an inflexible and strict rule-abiding person. While working on a liberal arts group project with freeloaders who don’t put in any effort, Sangwoo reasonably decides to remove their names from the final presentation. But he didn’t imagine how involved he would become with the person whose study-abroad plans were messed up because of that project. The involved person: the campus star who everyone knows, Department of Design’s Jang Jaeyoung. He has everything from skills, looks, family background and good relationships except for 1 big problem: Chu Sangwoo. What happens when an engineer and an artist whose personalities are like oil and water have to work together? Jang Jaeyoung is like a semantic error in the perfect world of Chu Sangwoo. Will Sangwoo be able to debug this?"

 this has got to be one of the most accurate portrays of an antagonist relationship start off ever, it was really comedic and relatable at the same time, if you are in current group assignments and are or have suffered the same as sangwoo, please let me know cause I know I have.lol.

there’s only 16 chapters so far and I believe it hasn’t been updated in a while either so I don’t know if it is discontinued or not.

I can't wait to see the development between the two male leads, because their relationship right now in the manhwa is really hilarious and worth the read.

side note, not that this will ever be considered as a k-drama but I would like to see sangwoo being played by kim soo hyun, because he looks like him in the drama it's okay not to be okay.

 4) Tied up in twins- " The story starts off with three friends Jiwoo, sohee and woojung who had been friends since high school began to developed complicated feeling towards one another, woojung had been in love with sohee and sohee had been in love with jiwoo who was in love with woojung, things turned for the worse when jiwoo got drunk one night out and decided to confess his feelings to woojung by going to his apartment, he found 'woojung' standing outside and invited him to go drinking, he finally was able to let out his feelings and 'woojung ' accepted them without hesitation. Jiwoo felt like he was on cloud nine at the moment and slept with 'woojung' that night after thier feelings were made mutual. Turns out 'woojung ' was not actually woojung himself but his twin brother sarang, not knowing this fact he spots sarang with a man from his past eunji that used to bully him during his military service which made him confused and angry that 'woojung ' might be playing with his feelings. Sarang then confessed that he is the twin brother  of woojung and both of them decided that that night was a mistake and that they should just forget about it as it didn't happen. Of course fate had other plans as they keep running into each other during difficult times and decided to become friends. It didn't take them long to be attracted to one another which lead them to end their previous relationship, sarang especially was suffering from his cheating boy friend's abuse and jiwoo with his one sided feelings for woojung. After a series of events sarang and jiwoo found that their feeling for each other were mutual and started to dating, which poses a lot more obstacles than either of the two had bargained for...."

 This is actually my very own summary since I can't find one for this manhwa, I also did and fanart and discussed why i really like this story in that fanart, so please check out my art for my thoughts on it! Shameless self promo....

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Welcome to hell

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ooo now it's time for the fun part.LOL. Now let me just say that there is sometimes a fine line that defines what shounen ai and Yaoi are, sometimes stories is listed as both because one story that starts off like shounen ai will suddenly become yaoi

I define yaoi as a story that includes all the things that i'm uncomfortable with, which is emotional trauma from sexual abuse, sexual harassment and rape, physical abuse, suicide etc

 these stories usually include some or all of the listed above and could make you uncomfortable in many ways, so as a warning if you are bothered by any of that even a little please don't read the ones I’m about to list, because there is a lot of it and there are situations that made me really sick while reading them. on the upside there is a lot of whole heartedness from the love scenes between the two main characters, although it’s like pages of sex scenes, you know from reading that it is between two people that love and trust each other.

 so you have been warned, i'm not going to spoil it in terms of story but there is something these ones i chose out have in common and that is a SICK A-HOLE THAT EVERY PERSON WANTS TO KILL.You should have seen all those comments about calling sangwoo (killing stalking) to kill theses mofos and I could agree more, these disgusting human beings made me sick.

 so let's begin...btw these are in no particular order, I was going to list these from the least worthy of dieing to most worthy of dieing but you know in the end they should just all die...lol.

1) My Suha -"A skillful secretary by day and choosy cruiser by night, Suha is a young professional who’s in search of some no-strings-attached action. He hasn’t had much luck lately, though, since a handsome face doesn’t always match what’s in a guy’s pants. This might be why he finds himself wondering about his dreamboat boss, Director Park Jiwoon. But there’s no way he can mix business with pleasure… That is, until Jiwoon and Suha run into each other in the gay bar bathroom."

 so where to begin, um this pretty much includes all those listed above but it mainly focuses on the relationship between jiwoon and Suha, and it is not abusive and very loving in fact,I'm glad that they show the contrast between how suha's previous realtionships don't work out because of his trauma

and how jiwoon despite being an unwanted heir in his grandmother's eyes was able to give love and protection to the person that matters to him the most. So there's this scum bag...I even forgot his name but the red haired dude in this story he`s the legitimate heir to the family, who is the absolute worse and not only sexually abused Suha when they were younger and also emotionally scar both jiwoon and suha

making them feel incapable of being loved. I didn’t get a good feeling form him when he was first introduced and I was right...lol. But at least the comments section was in agreement; let me sum up my feelings in the form of this gif alone...

 you get the point...

I heard it was going to finish soon so hopefully these emotional scars can be resolved and that suha and jiwoon stick together to get through it all. That would be a good ending for them after everything they have been through.You really need to read it in order to under stand why these events happen the way they do but please remember that suha`s inability to feel love stems from the all of his previous relationships not lasting long yes...but started with this red haired mofo. I am never going to let this dude live, let`s just say that.

2) Crash into me- " Seung-chan is stressed. He has enough on his plate with the long hours at work, and now he can’t even get any rest at home! Every night, the lustful moaning and violent banging from the apartment upstairs keeps him awake. Just as he’s at his wits’ end, he chances upon the gorgeous, enigmatic Hyesung outside his building. Surely all those filthy sounds couldn’t be coming from such a pretty mouth? But as Seung-chan soon finds out, there’s a lot more to Hyesung"

 from that little description you’ve probably figured out what’s going on with the neighbour next door keeping seung chan awake right? well no surprise sexual abuse, after hyesung was forced to suffer from a ordeal that wasn't his fault the brother of the person that died made it seem like it was his fault and sexually assaulted him

and so this ongoing sexual abuse progressed for several years which lead hyesung feel like life is meaningless and he should just die, until he locked eyes with seung chan walking back to the apartment and thought of jumping out the window, because he had a strange feeling that seungchan who he has not met before would catch him if he did.

I just almost cried from what I just wrote...to think there’s is some a-hole out there that would drive a person to suicide like that just to satisfy his own needs or whatever...i don't even know cause it’s still ongoing...i don’t think any amount of back story will justify any kind of sympathy for this person..

from what I have read so far it seems so be going ending soon so i hope seungchan and hyesung will be able to get through all this and live in peace because of suengchan, hyesung was able to love again and find his worth and is able to fight for himself and I’m sincerely glad that he had met and trust him whole heartedly.

3) Dine with vampire- "Caught in the clutches of an abusive relationship, Sooin longs to escape. A vampire who finds human blood repulsive, Chi-hwan only drinks the blood of other vampires. When chance brings the two together, Chi-hwan makes Sooin an enticing proposal. Chi-hwan will help Sooin get out of his living hell, and in exchange… Sooin has to let Chihwan drink his blood. Will this proposal change both their lives for the better?”

 y'all don't even get me started on the mofo in this story....I’ve never felt so much rage from staring at a 2D character on my screen, the amount of times I hissed at him...you don't even know

like I have mentioned before ever since my twilight phase I didn’t consume anything vampire related in a while, I don't really care much for the vampire aspect but I guess it's still important over all

once you start the first chapter you will immediately know why I hate the harry potter a-hole in this story..he is despicable and that’s putting it lightly...but you know he doesn’t last long cause vampire tsukiyama (lol, not his name but they look alike) shows up and kills the mofo

and saves sooin who is the person who harry potter had been sexually abusing...to the point where you guessed it, he wanted to die.

chi hwan agrees to grant any wish sooin wanted in exchange for his blood because being vampire by nature he had not been drawn to anyone’s blood for some reason and had only consumed the blood of other vampires.

of course it was a small price to pay for sooin considering all the misery he had gone through. slowly sooin discovered that love was not abusive through the many times chi hwan...lmao i almost called him tsukiyama again...and he had sex, he discovered that it was safe and gentle and enjoyable

nothing that he had ever felt before, and so they became drawn to each other more than they thought they would to the point where they genuinely care for one another, though of course chi hwan knows that one day sooin will die and he will have to live on forever alone, thus the fate of his vampire blood.

 but here’s the catch..it's not a spoiler really cause you knew it was too easy when main villain dies in chapter 4...and he’s on the front cover...which means yes harry potter mofo is back...ugh...he should have burned his body...WTF and as a vampire no less..

i'm like great now look what happened, you should have chopped him up and threw him into the incinerator!

you know that saying " mistakes were made..."

anyways, now he's back meaning shits about to do down and i'm not ready to see it happen, right now they are going through his back story and i’m like sorry author...whatever you try to feed me there’s no way i can have any sympathy for this dick...

 so that's all i'm going to rant about for these yaoi titles...i had to go back and read some it again to know what i'm going to write about and i revisited a lot of things i’d rather not.I think the rage I felt was ignited again all of a sudden and I felt utter frustration to finish reading it again, what I am trying to say is, ya`ll need to read this once and that`s it...these aren`t stories you`d want to revisit.lol

so if you like this hell segment let me know and i'll continue it cause there’s an endless supply of content for this genre, I have a few more but i'll save those for next month.

and i'll probably come across more in the mean time to discuss, but I guess this is where fiction and reality divides, cause you know in real life if this crap exists absolutely no one will take this bull crap!

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MUSIC

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 I have been listening to the Start up soundtrack and found a lot of songs i like from it, I don't like the drama and have not finished it, but the soundtrack is bomb

I have also been liking some old pop songs and went down the rabbit hole of 90`s pop songs...Britney spears especially

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 so that is all I have for this month, I'm sorry its manhwa and manga focused, i'll have time to watch anime that I need to catch up on and start some drams now so i'll have more

to discuss in the next month hopefully, so please take care of your selves in the new year as well!

take care,

sheena

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SOCIAL MEDIA

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INSTAGRAM: shinb_art

TUMBLR: shinahbee

DEVIANTART: she-be.deviantart.com

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[youresog0lden]

Josslyn (pt 3) II Spencer Reid

Read part one and two here

WC: 2.4k

A/N: some requested this but this will be the last part! 

Warning: cursing, and normal criminal minds things

 GIF IS NOT MINE !!!

masterlist

By the time you’re reading this it will be my birthday so I decide to write this part and it makes me incredibly happy !!

"Sometimes good thing's fall apart so better things can come in." Marilyn Monroe

Everything happens for a reason. I call everytime I get drunk but obviously you know that. I get drunk to get you off my mind but, it doesn't work. It never works, it does the complete opposite. I think of you, your smile, the way you like your coffee with this weird creamer. The way you only wear a tight long sleeve shirt tight black pants and your clunky docs. You smile every morning even if you're having a bad day. Even though the room is full of profilers. You still act happy. But the alcohol still doesn't make me forget.  I know you get my texts. I need to stop putting you threw this. I should've stopped two years ago. It's been two years. I have had to see you walk into the bullpen like you we're to happiest women on the planet. So, that's why I stopped I love seeing you happy. It almost makes me happy. I know I messed up trust me. I know I should be sorry. I really messed up but, everyday I could go up to you and get on my hands and knees and tell you how incredibly sorry I am and how bad I fucked up. I know I fucked up. It hasn't been the same with JJ and I. I can't stop thinking about the look on your face. It hurt me. I don't even know why I did it. We we're just caught up in the moment. She told me she loves me. Y/n she loves me. But I love you. I should have let it happen but ever since it did I can't stop thinking about you. I see you have a boyfriend, he seems like a nice guy the few times we met. He seem's like he could treat you better than I could. The way he looks at you, with such love. Garcia tell me you love him, and you couldn't see you're self with anyone else. While I admit that hurt I can say that it's good to see you happy. I'm happy for you as long as he doesn't hurt you, that's all that matters. I can tell you love him all you see in your eyes is the sparkle when he talks anyway. I'm sorry I haven't been there. I really want to. I want us to be like we used to be, before prison. But now everything isn't the same. I mean what can I expect. I ruined it but, I am going to let you go. I have to meet my mom in an hour and I'm not even ready.

                                        ~ Love Spencer Reid

I stare at the letter now sitting on my desk. What do I do with it now. Sam's going to be home soon and he'll flip if he reads that letter. Without even thinking I slip it into the holder for mail. He never goes in there. Without thinking I take my food to the couch eating it. Ding. I look at my phone seeing the lovely Emily has texted the group telling them we have a case. I quickly put on my jeans and boots grabbing my to-go bag before grabbing my keys locking up. I get in my car and drive down to the BAU. I swipe my key card going to my desk. Everyone was waiting for Emily and Garcia to walk into the bullpen to tell us to meet them in the conference room. My eye almost on instinct look for Dr. Reid seeing him standing there laughing with Tara. I look around before deciding to talk to JJ.

"Do you know what's going on?" I ask. I never had the right to be mad at JJ she didn't know Reid and I we're together. All she did was fuck up her own marriage and lose her best friend I couldn't be mad at her it wasn't my place. She nods her head no before seeing the bubbly blonde walk in with a tablet in her hand shaking it towards the conference room. We all nod following along except me. I set my bag at my desk and look around.

"Y/n." Garcia calls out.

"Yeah I'm coming." I say. I put the letter in my desk and walk into the room.

"Okay. What do we have." I say taking a seat next to Luke.

"Two dead."

"Meet Tom and Lilly Small."

" A husband and wife. They we're found dead in there home in Atlanta Georgia on Wednesday stabbed brutally fifteen times then shot execution style." Emily stated.

"Do they have any kids?" I ask.

"Yes two sons and a daughter." Garcia says.

"Where were they that night." JJ asked.

"Jason the oldest was at his house with his wife and son. They both can prove and so can there security cams. Zach was at a soccer game on his way home when it happened and Angel was upstairs with rope tied around her but nothing about what happened almost like she was drugged."

"Do we know with what drugs?" Reid questioned.

"A date rape drug called-" Garcia takes a second to look at it.

"gamma-butyrolactone or gbl." she says.

"GBL is a hygroscopic colorless, water-miscible liquid with a weak characteristic odor. It is the simplest 4-carbon lactone. It is mainly used as an intermediate in the production of other chemicals, e.g. methyl-2-pyrrolidone." Reid speaks. We all look at him for a brief second his eyes meet mine but, wanting nothing more than to do with him I look away. Who am I lying to. I am still madly in love with him. I shake my head hearing Spencer speak again.

"It effects the pathway to the brain." he finishes. I nod.

"Okay so she was drugged but how?" I asked.

"We don't but we have to get there soon. We are wanting to believe that the unsub will hurt again. Wheels up in 40." Emily said. All of us exit from the room. I walk to the kitchen with my coffee mug in my hand only to meet the one and only Spencer Reid. I don't say anything I just pull out the pot making sure to fill it with the coffee and sugar. Reid starts to look at me with these big eyes that say a lot. I gave him and unwanted smile and walk away drinking my coffee

----

"Ok Y/L/N, Reid go to the precinct and start the geographical map, Rossi and Tara talk to the family find any information you can out, Alvez you with me we're going to the crime site, after we'll go over to the coroners office." Emily finally finished. All of us nodding going our separate ways. Reid and I make our way towards the car heading down to the station.

----

"There's been a new murder." Emily says threw the phone.

"Where." Reid asked picking up this red marker.

"At Peach Tree Center." she says. He put's his hand on it putting a dot right where his finger is laid. Right then the phone ringed again.

"Hello." I sang.

"Hello my beautiful and my boy genius." Garcia called threw.

"Hi my pretty lady." I said

"Hey Garcia." Reid spoke.

"Okay so I just got a call from the one and only Rossi telling me that the daughter told us that her mom had a kid at 15. I guess she got pregnant early and gave her up for adoption. They just recently got in touch." she finished.

"But you'll never get this." she salted.

"What."

"Her adoptive parents we the family just killed." she finished. Reid and I looked at each other

"Where is she now."

"She is on her way down from New Jersey."

"Mark that." I call to Reid.

----

"Do you want some water." I asked coming into the room She sat there.

"So what part of New Jersey are you from?" I asked her. She  silently sat there still not saying anything.

"Ok, fine. It's in you're right of law not to talk. But you forget that I'm the profiler here. I watched you while you sat in here talking to Dr. Reid, I watched your micro-expressions. I watched as you barley blank when he mentioned the death of your mom. Now seeing that  you barley knew her I didn't expect you to be crying whale tears but for you actual family come on now. Not a single tear?" I questioned.

"Some people grieve different."

"Yes. They do but most people cry when a loved one dies. You know studies have been shown that most people who grieve cry but most psychopaths don't show emotion at all because they don't know how to show that emotion some were never raised into the right home some jsut don't know how." I say sitting down cupping my hands together.

"Now my question is why?" I ask.

"Why what?" she coyly.

"Don't play dumb with me." I smile right back.

"Awe is the Agent getting mad." I laugh

"Did you or did you not kill you're biological mom for giving you up and her kids and husband because they knew the truth and then went and killed you're adoptive parents because they kept this from you." I ask for almost a second you could see she broke. She didn't think I noticed.

"How would you know if I did."

"You made it very easy. You left Angel alive. She told us that she remembers a girl walking into her room and tying her up. She felt comfortable with her at first because this girl looked familiar but she couldn't put her finger on it. That's when Jason came forward and told us that you we're in the picture and that you always gave him an off vibe but, that. That right there wasn't enough to put you away. We had no proof. So we did a background search. You're not from New Jersey. You're from Maine. You're adoptive dad was a drunk and you're adoptive mom was not a mom she was trying to be you're best friend. You felt nothing almost as if you turned your emotions off like that." I snapped.

"Fine. I killed them." she screamed. I smirked and got up, walking out the door. The team was standing out there watching the whole thing there mouths a gaped.

"How-What?" Alvez laughed.

"How did you do that." Tara asked.

"You guys forget that this is why I was hired in the first place I am an amazing interrogator and profiler. " I smile at the lovely people infront of me.

"Hold up someone is calling me." I say walking away pulling out my phone.

"Hello this is SSA Y/L/N."

"Y/n." Sam's voice snapped.

"Oh. Hi my lovely." I smile.

"Where the fuck are you." he spat

"Wait are you with him-" he laughs

"Yes I am with him, and the whole team I work with asshat." I sigh.

"I found the letter." he states. I freeze.

"What are you talking about." I questioned dumbly.

"You know exactly what letter quit playing dumb. Are you going to tell him you love him to. Even after he hurt you?" he laughs bitterly

"I don't love him." I say in a hushed voice.

"Sure." he starts

"You know I hate it when you're with him." then he finished.

"Can you stop being so god damn controlling." I yell causing the looks of my team and a few others. Reid snapping his head first.

"Can you stop being such a bitch." he yells just as loud.

"Maybe I wouldn't be such a bitch if you stopped being so controlling."

"Whatever y/n well talk about this when we get home." I could just tell he was rolling his eyes, I decide to hang up the phone. I walk to the group a few of them letting out uncomfortable coughs. I just sigh.

"Sorry about that." I mumble looking down. They just nod all of us walking our own separate ways. I really need to talk to Spencer. I don't say anything I just kinda walk over to where he's grabbing his bag. Sam will get mad he always does but, I need to talk to him about this.

"Spence." I called him by the nickname. He looks over at me with wide eyes. He starts scrambling until I put my hand on his arm stopping him, and as cliche as it sounds but I felt fireworks. You shouldn't feel this way. It's wrong. I take my hand off his arm sliding them into my pockets uncomfortably.

"What's up."

"We need to talk." I say sternly. The blush rises up on him face.

"About what." he asked seeming to 'forget' about the letter he left me. "I can't stop thinking about the look on your face." He sighs before looking at me.

"Y/N I meant everything I said in that letter."

"I know and I just wanted to tell you that I forgive you. That I'm not mad anymore."

"You're not."

"No. It's been two years I can't stand being mad at you anymore it's tiring. I miss my best friend the one that I had before we started fucking around. I miss your stupid little facts in the morning or the nicknames you would give me. I miss walking hand in hand together into the bull pen. I miss staying up super later watching 'Doctor Who.' I miss you being the person who I can come to for anything. God Spence. I miss every part of you and I really fucked up getting into this relationship. I was just trying to move on and I thought I could but I can't I can't move on. I love you." I say.

"What about you're boyfriend." he almost cringes at the word boyfriend.

"I'm trying to leave him." I say softly.

"Why haven't you yet."

"Because like I said I'm trying to get over you."

"I love you any only you." I said softly.

"I love you." he says just as softly.

"God I love you so much." he finished.

"I'll break up with his as soon as I get home." I say softly. He hums in response. I grab the red tie he's wearing pulling my lips onto his. He wraps his arm around his waist and he wraps his around my waist and suddenly I feel at home.

[puckngrind]

What’s In A Name:8 - J. Toews

Chapter 8

Where we left off: Bekah accompanied Jon to the NHL100 Gala and he suggested they could live in Chicago together.

Warnings: smut, language

Word Count: 3,396

Series Masterlist ) Puck ‘n Grind’s masterlist

Untitled.

His season ended in round 1 and anyone could see the disappointment all over Jon’s face for the first few weeks after being knocked out in four games. Bekah came to game 1 and wore the jacket he bought her with his name and number on the back. The conversation from LA still hung over their heads but was not discussed by either with the end of the season. Work was crazy for her and summer flew without seeing Jon much. She did take a Friday off in August to take the long weekend go see him at home in Canada. She could see why he spoke about home the way he did. It was peaceful even with the sounds of slap shots waking her up one morning. She toed out to the kitchen to see coffee already made and prepared to her liking of a splash of honey and cream. She hummed while taking the first sip realizing it was exactly how she made it. The large window in the back eliminated source of the sounds echoing through the house. Jon was working out on his mini rink in the backyard. She opened the door with nothing on but one of his old, warn UND shirts on.

“You are crazy Tae!” Bekah emerged with coffee in hand leaning on the railing of his deck. Jon laughs and starts to make his way to her.

“Determined is usually the adjective used Beks.” His sweaty lips dip down and brush against hers. “Determined. Also, good morning.”

He was very determined to get her to Chicago. He knew she loved the city but the conversation in LA was looming over every discussion of a weekend with him. It took a ton of effort for Brynn convincing Bekah to go for the Blue Jackets and Blackhawks game in October. She helped Bekah wiggle some of work accounts during a few lunches and wouldn’t stop talking about it until they booked their flight. Bekah was working so hard that she resisted at first but Jon was thankful for Brynn’s persistence got her to his city.

Brynn rolled her eyes when Bekah walks in from the parking garage in her playoff jacket within Toews airbrushed across the back and a I heart Chicago T-shirt under. “I’m happy for you friend but you are an Ohioan damnit!” Brynn laughs and links arms with Behkah so they can head to the arena.

Jon scored and had an assistant handing the Blue Jackets a lose. Brynn laughs as the two friends embrace near the locker rooms and head their separate ways. “Have fun you two.” She waves more at Jon than Bekah.

“Nice game Tae.” Bekah looks up at Jon as he takes her under his arm.

“I felt your energy, Baby.” He kisses her lips. “Let’s head home.” The words lingered but weren’t touched by either one.

Bekah loved the way Jon smelled post game. It was intoxicating especially as he pressed into her making her legs push hard into his ass while she moaned out his name loudly.

“Come on Beks.” Jon encourages feeling Bekah’s orgasm coming. His not far behind. Bekah’s back arches up and he works faster. Reveling in the way their bodies moved in sync.

“Jon, I...” She moans out while her toes curl tightly into his legs.

“Merde Beks! Je t'aime.” Jon grunts out as he climaxes and collapses into Bekah’s trembling body.

“Uh, what did you just say?” Bekah tries to catch her breath. “Tae?” Jon whinces realizing the gravity of his words. “Jon.” Bekah tries to move him but he just lays with his head in her neck attempting to catch his own breath. “Jonathan! What the hell did you just say?”

“It was French Beks.” He finally moves so she can see his face.

“You orgasmed in French? You’ve never... have you ever... wait. What did you say?” Bekah questioned.

Jon’s mind and heart are racing. Of course he loved her. But saying it in French while cuming wasn’t exactly the way he wanted to tell her for the first time especially when they hadn’t established anything beyond exclusivity. “Babe, I don’t know.” He rubs the back of his neck.

“I swear I heard t’aime. Isn’t that love?” Bekah feels the heat coming to her cheeks. Her hand swiping at sweat on Jon’s hairline.

“Beks. Maybe. I don’t tend to remember what we say in the moment. Plus my brain is hardwired for both languages. Remember, I learned French first.” Jon searches her eyes and sees a smile appear.

“Well that was new. I didn’t hate it but it was new.” She kissed his lip tenderly. “Does it mean something when you brain switches like that?”

“I don’t think so mainly comfort I guess but we’ve been pretty comfortable for awhile. Seriously Beks. I don’t think I’ve ever done it before, ever.”

“Interesting.” Bekah struggled her shoulder out of not understanding before kissing his lips and Jon was thankful for the dropped conversion.

Work picked up for Bekah again. Her firm was given the task of the Cannonball for the CBJ foundation. As the marketing department she was stressed. She took a few days at Christmas and spent them in Chicago. His family didn’t join this year because of the schedule but he was thankful to see her in the mist of maybe her biggest project yet. All-Star break came and went. Jon didn’t make the All-star team so he came to Columbus and spent time with her but mainly in bed then she was off to work. Brynn didn’t mind when he suggested lunch out and invited her knowing they had a standing lunch date.

The week of Cannonball Brynn walks in with flowers. “These were delivered for you.” Bekah could hardly see her tiny best friend over the ginormous bouquet. Bekah’s eyes bug out of her head when her eyes adjust to them. She has only received flowers once at her office and it was when her grandfather died and they were from Brynn and Derek not her boyfriend. Jon sent her flowers for her birthday but to her apartment and not to work.

“Holy shit Rin!” Bekah gets up to grab the flowers and places them on the ledge behind her desk.

“There is a card.” Brynn points towards the center of the roses. “I didn’t read it. Still sealed.” Brynn’s face lights up as Bekah fishes out the note and opens it.

To the purrdiest lady at the ball,

You have worked so hard and I’m so proud of you.

Always, Tae

Bekah’s heart skips a beat and her face has a smitten smile across it.

“Does he always end his notes that way?” Rin questions.

“What? Huh?” Bekah rereads the card and looks at her best friend puzzled.

“Always, Tae. Does he always sign things like that?” Bekah just nods gliding her fingers over the text. “Very similar to that tattoo you have isn’t it.” Brynn flicks her finger to Bekah’s left side where the Always yours tattoo was.

“He’s done it before seeing the tattoo.” Bekah’s brain remembering the note she kept in her wallet from when he gave her his jersey. Butterflies erupt in her stomach thinking about the similarities.

“Yeah, just adding to the list of your no name thing there Bekah.” Brynn breaks the silence caused by Bekah’s realization. “Those flowers are stunning! I’m gonna let you call that handsome man.” Brynn waves from the door and Bekah turns to inhale the arrangement of red and white roses.

She picks up her phone and calls Jon.

“You didn’t have to but they are beautiful. Thanks Babe.” Bekah hardly let’s him say hello.

“Oh, well deserved. You worked your ass off for this western rodeo campaign and I just wish I could be there to push you across that dance floor, Beks.” There was a silence that they both let happen.

“I miss you.” Bekah finally whispers.

“I miss you too Beks but I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.”

Cannonball got Bekah all nervous. She ended up wearing the same dress that she did for the NHL 100 gala with some major convincing from Brynn. “You worked hard, that dress is amazing why not wear it and we can enjoy ourselves.” It definitely didn’t go with the theme and Bekah considered if it was too much for an event she was technically at for work. The fundraiser was perfect. Being country themed the players showed up in hats and bolo ties. About half way through Bekah felt the weight of the project lift off her shoulders as she started to mingle among some of women from the Chicago trip and the team. Her comfort level in the hockey world had dramatically changed and even Seth Jones noticed it when they were talking. He had run into her and Jon at the All-Star game in 2017 that became the focal point of the conversation. Bekah crawled into bed way later than she expected and didn’t wake up until her phone was ringing before her alarm.

“Hey Tae!” Bekah knew it was only Jon calling that early.

“Why the fuck do I see Josh fucking Anderson’s arm around you on Twitter?” Jon chokes out through his teeth.

“Huh?” Bekah sat up and rubbed her eyes.

“I was looking through the tag from your event and scrolled to see a picture of that cocky new call up Jacket with his fucking arm around you. Bekah... I... I....”

“You need to breathe Jon. No one had their arm around me especially Josh.” Bekah grabs her tablet from the nightstand to find this picture. The mention of Josh’s name made Jon almost growl.

“Well it sure as hell looks like he’s all cozy with you.” Bekah can tell Jon is pacing the floor. She hears the hard thud of his feet even over the phone.

“Jon! We. You and me, we are exclusive. I’m not seeing or talking or flirting with any other man.” Bekah scrolls as Jon breathes heavily into the phone. She finally sees it. From the angle of the photograph it does looks like Josh’s arm is on the small of her back and not whatever he was propping himself on. A small smirk on Josh’s face as she is talking to Seth. “Jon, Honey, I’m looking at the picture right now and I was just talking to the boys. Seth was asking about what part of the All-Star game I enjoyed since he saw us in LA. The conversation was about YOU,Tae.” Bekah waits and hears Jon swearing in both French and English. “Jonathan Bryan Toews calm the fuck down. You have a game tonight and you cannot be all like this.”

“Like fucking what Bekah? Pissed that my woman is looking like she’s talking to another man and one that is in my profession and one that I have to play soon. Pissed that we won’t call this what it fucking is because we live in different states or are scared or whatever it might be? My head hasn’t been in the right space and it’s hard to lead a damn team when I’m this way.” Jon stops pacing and can hardly hear over booming from his pulse in his ears.

“I... I don’t know what to say Jon.” Bekah feels the prick at the corner of her eyes.

“Well maybe you need to figure that out. I need to get to the rink and settle down. I’ll talk to you later Beks.” Jon hisses and hangs up. Bekah pulled her pillow over her head and starts to cry. She wasn’t even sure why she was crying but she just did it. Jon’s word echoing in her thoughts as she did.

The two texted a few times in the next few weeks and even Brynn could feel there was something off. “Bekah, he’s coming in town tomorrow night after their home game. You need to talk to him.”

“Rin, please don’t.” Bekah looks up from the salad she’s just pushing around with her fork.

“Call what you two have whatever you want but it’s something and in the last few weeks you’ve been a puddle of a human instead of the annoyingly hot for Toews bestie I’ve come accustomed to. You two make each other better you know?” Brynn stares into her best friend’s eyes seeing all the confusion that was stirring.

“But Rin.” Bekah whispers.

“Just go talk to him.” Byrnn spells out and Bekah knew she was right.

She texted Jon asking to meet in the lobby. He said he had a late team meeting but could slip out for a moment. Bekah’s heart beat faster and her cheeks flooded red when she sees him walking towards her.

“Hey Beks.” Jon leaned down and kissed her forehead.

“I’ve missed you.” Bekah blurts out.

“I’ve missed you too.” Jon stands close but not too close. “What’s up?”

“We haven’t seen or talked to each other in awhile.”

“Yeah, we’ve been busy.” Jon rubs the back of his neck looking down at her and she sees his pocket buzz.

“I... I... fuck... why is this hard?” Bekah whispers almost to herself as Jon’s pocket buzzes again.

“Beks, I don’t know but I really have to go. Tomorrow night, after the game I’ll meet you down in the tunnels like always okay?” He dips down and kisses her cheek before jogging off.

Bekah shook off the odd exchange and the next day wore her Toews jersey as she had been doing the last few seasons. Brynn’s eyes were bright when she got into Bekah’s car and saw the familiar jersey but said nothing. The ladies were closer than normal for this game and when Jon skated by during warmups she saw a slight smile across his face.

The game was not great and Bekah could swear she saw Jon push Josh after the whistle and words were exchanged but when Brynn said she didn’t see anything she wrote it off as paranoia. The Blue Jackets won and when Anderson scored in the third Bekah felt Jon’s eyes on her while the entire arena erupted in cheers. After the game, as always, Bekah waited for Jon between the home and visitor’s locker rooms. Bekah getting chirped by a few of the player who saw her in the Toews jersey and recognized her from Cannonball. Bekah sees Jon and starts toward him. His expression soft as he makes his way to her.

“Bek-caw!” A booming voice behind her calls out. She turns to see Josh with his hands to his mouth.  Seth, and Boone behind him in the tunnel. The boys all wave and she waves back then turns to see Jon standing in front of her. A grimace now flooding his face.

“Ready?” Jon pulls his arm tight around Bekah and she felt his whole body was tense.

“Yes, Tae. Let’s get outta here.” Bekah squeezed Jon and the two made their way to his hotel room. Once inside Jon drops on the bed kicking off his shoes but fully clothed in his suit. “I’m sorry Tae.” Bekah curls up into him and she can feel the tension radiating out of him. Jon finally groans and moves their bodies. Stripping Bekah’s clothes off first then his own in almost silence. Just the sounds of movement and kisses filled the air. He slinks down her body and presses his tongue into her core.

“Fuck Jon!” Bekah jumps and he presses his hand down at her hips to keep her body in place. He’s relentless and doesn’t let up after an orgasm rips through her body. His fingers curling into her as he sucks and flicks at her clit. Bekah yells out his name as the second orgasm crashes over her with even more of an intensity than the first. Jon only let’s up for a moment while he adjusts her legs and slams his throbbing cock into her. The room now filled with curses and moans. Jon biting at Bekah’s shoulder while she claws at his back. He thrusts hard into her then stops. Her eyes that are screwed shut fly open and the intensity of Jon’s eyes was a lot to take. Pupils blown, the look of want and a hint of something she couldn’t put her finger on before he rolled his hips out and slammed back into her. Bekah’s hands fly up to brace herself with the headboard. Jon’s hands move so he’s on his elbows with his lips ghosting her lips. “Mine.” He whispers then presses his lips on hers. Bekah feels Jon twitch deep inside of her which causes her body to climax again. Jon rolls off of Bekah. His hard expression softens and he kisses her then heads to the bathroom. She expects him to return but when the shower turns on she pads over to the bathroom.

“Tae?” Bekah looks into the shower and Jon’s forehead is pressed against the tile and the water is running down his back. He doesn’t move or answer. “Baby?” Bekah enters the shower and wedges herself between the shower wall and his body. Jon’s eyes closed and her hand comes to cup his cheek. “Jon?” Bekah runs her thumb across his cheek.

“I’m sorry Beks.” He opens his eyes and looks at her.

“Sorry for what?” She keeps her hand in place and blinks the spray from her eyes.

“For everything Beks. For everything but I’ll start with my behavior in bed just now.”

“Jon.” Bekah goes to kiss his lips and he moves.

“Let me finish. I got jealous. I got pissed off. I didn’t talk to you. I have let you and my team down. I just...” Jon takes a deep breath.

“Jon, let’s get out of the shower and talk okay?” Jon nods his head and let’s Bekah lead him out. She dries them both off and snuggles into his chest in bed.

“I’m sorry.” He says again and runs his hand down and up her arm then pulls her body flush with his.

“You keep saying that.”

“I mean it.”

“And the jealousy thing?” Bekah looks up at him.

“I couldn’t see beyond a poor camera angle and got angry that these local guys could see you almost daily. That they could easily have you if they wanted to.”

“But they don’t and they won’t.” She reassures him. “And the whole mine thing?” Bekah whispered out and rubs her shoulder.

“Fuck Beks did I hurt you?” Jon kisses the spot that already looks like it’s bruising.

“It was in the heat of the moment and I’ll be fine. But Mine Jon? The possessive sex thing isn’t exactly you.”

“I know. I just... fuck.... fuck... fuck.”

“You fuck?” Bekah laughs. Jon sits up on his elbow and looks down at Bekah.

“Bekah. I love you and I know we said we aren’t naming this but I love you and I’m a fucking idiot for not telling you this years ago.” Jon leans down and kisses her lips.

“Jon...” Bekah breathes out.

“And not just love. I don’t want to live without you honestly. When we leave each time it gets harder. When that hint of cinnamon smell from your pillow is gone I find myself in the kitchen trying to replicate it but it’s your smell. You. I want you. I want you to come to Chicago, run my new foundation, build a life with me, together. Je t’aime Rebekah. I said it once before and didn’t realize then that I meant it but I do.” He drops back down so their faces are inches apart.

“Jon.” Bekah places her head on his chest. He combs his fingers through her wet hair.

“You don’t have to say anything Beks. I don’t want you to say it back unless you mean it. I’m okay with being just this. Okay? Just know that’s what I want is more and if you don’t then we keep doing what we are doing but if you consider even a little bit of what I just said that we can start slow and not all at once. I’m in this for the long haul Beks.” He hand glides under her chin and slowly moves it to look her in the eyes and kisses her lips again.

“Okay.” Bekah quietly says.

“Okay? Okay to what Beks?”

“Okay....”

[spirit-of-vengeance]

@spxcemuses @mr-mansnoozie @xxstar-bluesxx

Guess who gathered enough mind to finally write her full backstory of Western Verse. Her being a bounty hunter is set in the Wild West time period (1865-1895), there is no current year(s) to set her story in mainly because I don't want to make a mistake messing up the timeline.

Calm before the storm

Her father, Attila a lesser Hungarian noble whom supported the 1848-1849 revolutionary war but after the failure of it he escaped emigrated to America to avoid the Habsburg revenge, soon followed by his brother Gábor. He could save a small amount of his fortune along with his two most important horses: a purebred Lipizzan stallion and an extremely rare Akhal Teke mare. He had settled near a small town, due to his financial situation and education as a noble he established a school with the support and approval of the local church. To quieten his guilt for abandoning his country in its peril, he poured all of his heart into educating children; at least he is still useful in some way.

One day, a group of artists traveling artists, acrobats traveled through the town and the aristocrat fell in love at first sight. She was like the queen of fairy from the folk tales he'd heard in his childhood, she was tall, blue eyes sparkled like light sapphire, long golden brown hair floated ethereally with every twirl. The smitten lord shamelessly courted the the graceful acrobat, determined to know at least the name.

The group had stayed in the town for a few weeks, allowing Attila's and Myra's romance to blossom; after a month she ended up staying with him, just like in true fairytales.

My obsession with angst backstory strikes again

The lord was in love, deeper than poets could express it. Since the loss of his home and country he had found his place in the universe along with the perfect companion by his side. He paid less attention to the school, the church and other public affairs; it wasn't like he abandoned them but became more withdrawn to spend time with the love of his life, especially after the birth of their daughter. She was almost the perfect miniature of her mother, same beautiful hair glinting gold in the sunlight, only her eyes were the brightest emerald green he'd ever seen.

While Myra's heart and aura was as pure as a fairy's; the local church was beyond distressed. They claimed that Attila had completely abandoned helping those in need because of her wicked seduction. When they witnessed her performing for the amusement of the crowd, the 'temptress witch' brand couldn't be lifted. They gathered a few enthusiastic townsfolk whom shared their views and a few morally questionable men whom only wanted a piece of the lord's fortune.

10 year old Karma was awakened from her deep slumber by her frantic father; smoke and yelling blinding her senses as he carried her out of the burning house into the nearby forest so the mob won't find her. He promised her he will be back but he had to return into their home for Myra; he couldn't leave her inside. Karma watched her dad disappear into the flames, the air filled with suffocating smoke and religious shouts for god to smite the sinners. She couldn't tear her eyes away from the spot where her father was gone, waiting for her parents to stumble out of the half collapsed building; but that never had happened. She sat unmoving from her spot, struck staring into the flames then into the ashes as the sun has risen.

Birth of the marksman

Attila's brother, Gábor arrived the next day after hearing the news, he was the one whom found Karma still staring at the ruins in a catatonic state. He couldn't avenge his sibling as it meant endangering his niece and she has lost more than enough.

Gábor expected her to become a soft spoken, reserved lady once she overcame her trauma; that theory was soon abandoned when once he had awoken to his niece practicing with his rifle outside with frighteningly great accuracy. The young girl naturally had an extraordinary aim and after a few long talks, he'd seen the determination burning in her to avenge the murder of her parents. Given by her mother's dance lessons, she was also flexible and capable of many different acrobatic moves; this combined with her aim proven to be a very dangerous combination.

To not awaken suspicion he told his friends Karma was an orphan whose parents were killed by bandits and he had adopted her to give her a family and education. Karma was fascinated chasing greater heights of her skills, this involved reading every possible book about anatomy, marking, engraving the useful spots of the body. Karma knows where to shoot to disarm, to cause a slow death, to paralyze, to disable for life and when it is only a warning: an injury which will heal with time. Along with her accuracy, her drawing speed only can be compared to lightning. Although she prefers/most comfortable with her dual revolvers (model undecided yet), she is still a menace with shotguns, rifles, flintlocks and even bows due to Gàbor's 'A Hungarian is not a Hungarian if they can't use a bow' mindset.

The bounty hunter quicker than death

Karma had her first official gunfight at the age of 18 on the auction. for Vihar (Storm), the filly of her father's horses.

Detailed post about Vihar

She officially entered the bounty hunter business when she was 20 and Vihar was 2, aiming for the most dangerous criminals whom committed the worst acts possible. In her early years after the kill she slit open corpses she trying to find the bullet, surverying the damage it caused and adding filler information to her anatomy knowledge. Of course she didn’t bother burying the bodies, she knew as a woman she has to be extremely vicious above talented to be hired and mutilated dead bodies did send a great message & served as cement for building her reputation. The name Karma wasn't entirely her idea, many thankful family members claimed that karma has came for their loved ones' murderers. Her talent spread like wildfire among the men of law, glad to be rid of the dangerous scum; with careful planning, use of environment and Vihar as backup she had wiped out gangs, not solely focused on individuals.

Unfortunately her reputation summoned an unofficial grand price on her head as well in certain circles; they had tracked her back to her uncle's house. The battle claimed Gábor's life and nearly her sight as her right eye was almost slashed out. The new loss opened old wounds: her not being able to protect her loved ones. She couldn't look into a mirror, the scar a reminder how despite all years of training she wasn't untouchable; after burying her uncle plan to gain control over her psyche already formed.

She took a knife and carefully carved four half circles around her eye to form a crosshair with her pupil being the middle of it. She made sure she kept the wounds open for enough time to scar as visibly as the vertical cut; she wanted a symbol to add to her legend. Excuse my pathetic excuse of an edit, I'm not good in this, nor I can draw.

Now Karma is 25, Vihar is 6, both of them in their peak physical prime; the name Vihar is also symbolic a little, Karma is the lightning to her horse. She is dancing on the thin edge of bounty hunting and being an outlaw as she often takes...side jobs to help people who deserve it and usually that person doesn't have a bounty on their head, therefore it is technically murder.

Local antisocial feral monk & cocky gunslinger feral lady / addition of the AU with the amazing @mr-mansnoozie

Near her uncle's house, Karma had discovered a cave and a grumpy mute monk living in it along with his pet bear. The monk, Sandy eventually became a second uncle to the traumatized angry orphan, he taught her how to move & creep upon someone soundlessly, disappear without a trace, cover her stances and behavior patterns of various animals. Before and after returning from a job she always visits her uncle of choice for a chat; a silent way to prepare him to the possibility of her not coming back. But she always do. She considers Sandy as part of her tiny family, although his...copying mechanisms with his own traumas were a bit strange to get used to; she adapted quite fast, after all who is she to judge with a past like that?

I'm a dead man walking, Hell's at my door.

aka collection of small headcanons

🎯 Her dual revolvers are called Salvation and Damnation because she's dramatic

🎯 Karma has a small sketchbook filled with anatomy drawings for further practice.

🎯 She actually can sing, but rarely does, only to Vihar since she never received positive feedback on it. Her voice is gritty, rugged and deep; definitely not the usual and desired sounding from a woman.

🎯 If her target was an outstandingly cruel bastard and/or one of those whom killed her parents she uses a little psychological torture. After fatally wounding them she starts whistling (for the most terrifying experience wear headphones & close your eyes while listening) as they try to crawl away or beg for mercy. The first time the whistle gets shrill & more intense is when she lazily reloads, knowing she has both the time and the upper hand. The second pace shift is when she aims; she shoots during the last, long drawn out high note.

🎯 This is her only verse where Cindy is afraid, no terrified of fire; during her....26 AU's she's always been associated with fire despite dying in or being wounded by it. In this verse she is more tied to lightning, the scent of smoke is enough to send her into a silent panic attack and despite loathing the cold she will never sit close to the fireplace. Her other deep fears include injuring her hands & sight and losing Vihar. Her horse is the only remaining family member of hers, she can't fail her too.

🎯 Most of Karma's scars, injuries are a result of her standing between Vihar and a knife/bullet/ even a bullwhip when a criminal was smart enough to catch on their deep emotional bond.

🎯 She has recurring night terrors about the night her parents died, she always wakes up in cold sweat; she's sort of used to them. Though, sometimes she still cries but thankfully Vihar is there to comfort her.

🎯 Karma has a special morning stretch routine to keep her flexibility and warm up her hands & keep them steady and fast.

🎯 Due to her dad and uncle she received high quality education

🎯 For the untrained eye, the belt of her hat are simple crosses while in reality, they are inverted crosses to symbolize her stance with Christianity

🎯 Karma's middle name is Emerald, given by her father due to her eye color.

🎯 Karma was first inspired by League of Legends Miss Fortune because that name alone is great but unfortunately she is too pirate coded for a western so I abandoned the relation. Though when Karma is not being the 'Call me a slow reader but I only made it to the Dead part, the or Alive didn't register.' ; her personality is similar to hers.

🎯 Due to her dad, Karma is actually half aristocrat. Not like she cares about it the slightest; the only indication of noble blood is her idle stance. It is an unconscious mirror of how her father used to hold himself: back straightened to almost impossible point, left arm behind it, right hand resting on the grip of in her case, revolver instead of hilt of a sword.

🎯 If given the chance to live a normal life, she would've grown into a captivating, lively young woman, much like her mother but with the aristocrat elegance of her father; finding a suitor who lives up to her parents' and her standards would've been the challenge of the century.

🎯 Her special move is called Dance of Death. This is used as last resort when she's facing more opponents up to 12, as with her dual revolvers she has 12 bullets without reloading. She mentally marks the stances of all opponents, predicts their movement, firing order and possible way of their bullets before whirling out of her hiding place. Each pose minimizes the chance of getting shot, and with each change of movement two bullets are fired, two men drop dead.

🎯 Her accuracy isn't just 'gun goes boom >:D' but a combination of natural talent, endless practice, movement prediction, sharp, quick thinking & analytical skills and different techniques molten together to utilize them all at once

🎯 Her hair is now as long as her mother's, she always keeps it in a single tight braid to keep it out of the way; without her hat and hair down she actually loses some of her dangerous edge.

🎯 The only physical memory Karma has of her parents is her dad's hussar sword she found underneath the ruins of the house, it was protected by a very thick wooden box & a lock of her mother's hair is tied to the grip. She has hidden it in the nearby forest, her thoughts often wander to it along with the wish to wield it.