#Maegera

[a-shrieking-cloud-of-bats]

recently got the dusa summon in hades and love the dialogue she has when summoned in the asphodel gorgon head miniboss room

notably "woah big mama" or something

[rurifangirl]

Honestly idk wot is up with primordial chaos but holy fucking SHIT do they give me serotonin

[chaosordoffl]

Some Valyrian/Targaryen/Velaryon names. No expertise here, simply following patterns to see what sounds and looks nice + canon sources and Valyrian dictionary plucks. In chrono & thought order.

Canon — Rhaenys, Rhaena, Rhaella, Rhaenyra, Rhaegel, Rhae, Rhaelle, Rhaegar (All Targ)

Derived — Rhaenion, Rhaenelle, Rhaenella, Rhaegor, Rhaegon, Aenyra, Rhaelion, Rhaenyx, Rhaelyx, Rhaenar, Rhaenyar, Rhaenel, Rhaelys, Rhaevel, Rhaevis, Rhaevys, Viserrhae, Rhaenya, Rhaenior, Rhaenor, Rhael, Rhaen, Rhaejel, Rhaeqan, Rhaellor, Rhaemon, Rhaemond, Rhaenyron, Rhaema

Canon — Aenar, Aegon, Aerys, Aelyx, Aerion, Aethan (1 Velaryon), Vaegon, Aenys, Aerea, Naerys, Aegor, Aelor, Aelora (Rest Targ)

Derived — Aegar, Aelon, Aelys, Aelar, Aelara, Aella, Aelinor, Aeral, Aeron, Aelion, Aegys, Aegal, Aelia, Naera, Naeron, Naerion, Naerelle, Naerella, Naerea, Aethal, Aethelle, Aethys, Aethion, Aethar, Aethial, Aenor, Aethor, Aerelle, Gaelyx, Aenyx, Aeryx, Baelyx, Aelial, Aeliar, Aelior, Vaegal, Vaegor, Vaegar, Vaelior, Vaelor, Aerial, Aeriel, Aelan, Aevys, Aevelle, Aevella, Haelyx, Haelian, Aenir, Haethan, Haelan, Haelor, Aekor, Haeral

Canon — Gaemon (T), Daemion (T & V), Daemon (V & T), Aemon (T), Aemma (T [Andal?]), Vaemond (V), Aemond (T), Daeron (V later T)

Derived — Daemyra, Daemys, Daemyn, Daemelle, Daema, Gaemar, Daerelle, Daerion, Aemys, Aemar, Aemor, Aemir, Aemira, Aemara, Aemora, Daemor, Daemora, Vaemon, Gaema, Gaemond, Gaemyn, Gaemion, Aemion, Gaemor, Aemior, Aemyn, Aemin, Aerona, Aemona, Aemia, Aeman, Aemal, Aemelle, Gaemia, Aemol, Aemil, Aemila, Aemilon, Aemilor, Aeminor, Daemyron, Daeminor, Haemon, Naemon, Haemia, Naema, Haemal, Haemar, Naemior, Naemor, Daemian

Canon — Daenys, Daenerys, Daella, Daenaera (1 V), Daena, Daenora (Rest T)

Derived — Daenyra, Daenar, Daenor, Daenelle, Daenal, Daen, Nerys, Naera, Daenir, Daenyx, Daeryx, Daerys, Daera, Daerya, Daenya, Daenyron, Daenorion, Norion, Daenyrion, Daenarion, Daenaeron, Daellar, Daelar, Daelon, Daelor, Daelan, Daelana, Daelanys, Daelenys, Daelyn, Aenaera

Canon — Maegon, Maegor, Maegelle, Maelor, Maekar (All T)

Derived — Maegar, Maela, Maelys, Maegys, Maegera, Maegara, Maegerys, Maegal, Maegyn, Maegan, Maekor, Maekaera, Maegaera, Maegaela, Maekion, Maelyra, Maegyra, Maelara, Maelar

Canon — Elaena (T), Valaena, Laena, Laenor (3 V), Helaena (T)

Derived — Laenys, Laenyra, Laenar, Laenelle, Helaenys, Elaenor, Elaenys, Laenion, Laenir, Laenyx, Elaenar, Laenora, Haena, Vaena, Alaena, Haela, Norys, Alaenys, Vaenys, Galaena

Canon — Visenya, Viserys, Viserra (T)

Derived — Viserya, Visenys, Senys, Saenys, Saenya, Saenar, Saenelle, Saenyelle, Saenyella, Serya, Serra, Serys, Saenir, Saenyx, Saenor, Viselya, Senial, Serial, Saerial, Visellan, Visarys, Visenna, Virenna

Canon — Baelon, Baela, Baelor, Balerion (Blackfyre), Valerion (Rest T)

Derived — Baelys, Baelar, Bael, Baelir, Alerion, Aleria, Aelir, Valeria, Valerys

Canon — Jaehaerys (T), Jacaerys (V), Lucerys (V), Jaehaera (T)

Derived — Lucerra, Lucerion, Jaehaerion, Jaerion, Lucerya, Jacaera, Jaena, Jaenelle, Jaecelle, Jaesir, Jaekar, Jaeron, Jaela, Jaelon, Jaelor, Jaerys, Haerys, Haera, Kael, Kaecion, Kaeciel, Kaecelle, Kaerys, Kaerion, Kaeriel, Lucarys, Jaeca, Nicerys, Nicaerys, Hecaerys, Nicerion, Hicaerys, Niceria, Nicae, Lucarya, Lucaenys, Lucaena, Nocorys

Canon — Lianna, Larissa (V [Andal? First Men?]), Alarra (FM [Massey]), Alyssa (V & T [Andal? FM?]), Alysanne (T)

Derived — Alysor, Lianys, Lianor, Sianna, Amanna, Alanna, Noranna, Narra, Nyssa, Anyssa, Alarya, Asenna, Norissa, Irenna, Orissa, Lysarra, Lisarra, Aranna

Canon — Valarr, Vaella (T)

Derived — Vaelys, Valarys, Alarys, Alarya, Valarya, Valarra, Vaellan

Canon — Gael, Saera, Shaera (T)

Derived — Saerys, Gaelys, Gaelor, Gaelon, Gaelion, Saerion, Shaerys, Shaerial, Shaerelle, Shaelle, Shael, Shaelys, Saevys, Shaerion, Gaela, Shaela, Shaehaera

Canon — Corwyn (V [Andal?]), Corlys (V)

Derived — Corla, Corlia, Corlaenys, Cora, Corys, Corlenys, Corlea, Corlae, Corvan, Corvana, Corvys

Malentine

Rhogar(/Rogar?/Rogare? [FM? HV?])

Monford

Monterys (All V)

Derived — Terys, Teraea, Taeraea, Taerion, Monys, Monerys, Montys, Rhogel, Malentys, Malenta, Monterion, Monterra, Mona, Monae, Monarra, Malentina, Lentys, Lenta, Lenya, Taenys, Taena, Alentys, Malya, Malys, Malea, Malena, Malenna, Malaena, Amalla, Alenna, Marissa, Monassa, Monessa, Monerra, Mosarra, Malarra, Malenys, Amarys, Mantys, Malta, Maltys, Maltine, Maltina, Amalta, Amaltine, Alta, Altys, Altarra, Maltar, Maltarys, Marion, Maltior, Malerion, Mornys, Mortys, Morton, Omorr, Omon, Malenion, Malenior, Almys, Monissa, Montissa, Montessa, Omona, Omorra, Maltion, Malton, Almont, Almae, Maltorra, Torys, Garys, Garla, Galtys, Torrine, Tarine, Maltarine, Maltarra, Almerra, Almarra, Almorra, Alterra, Lamina, Monta, Monte, Montae, Taera, Taerine, Taerin, Taerys, Manta, Almina, Almine, Rhonal, Rhonior, Rhomys, Almar, Malar, Malarr, Malarys, Almarys, Maline, Rhomalt, Rhomion, Rhomior, Rhomia, Rhoma, Rhoton, Rhomine, Rhomal, Rhogal, Rhomina, Rhomon, Rhomar, Rhomorr, Almassa, Rhomys, Rhomyn, Torial, Malial, Rhovys, Rhowyn, Matarra, Atarra, Rhomond, Rhomorra, Tormon

Matarys (T)

Derived — Matarya, Matara, Matys, Tarys, Tarya, Atara, Atarys, Tarial, Tarhael, Matarr

Canon — Orys, Borys, Orryn (Baratheon)

Derived — Orial, Ora, Orya, Orra, Borya, Boria, Boryl, Orelle, Orianne, Orael, Orrael, Orhael, Borion, Orion, Bora, Orian, Oryal, Oryas, Orias, Orios, Oryos, Rys, Ryssa, Ryssal, Orlisse, Rysla, Ryn, Rynel, Rynella, Boryn, Borryn, Rynal, Dorys, Orella, Dorella, Oryl, Orgillac, Orgyll, Borella, Borylla, Bolia, Bolas, Orlas, Ollyn, Olys, Olya, Orianna, Lorys

Bonus: Argellys

Canon — Maelys, Haegon, Aeryn, Calla, Rhalla, Shaena (Blackfyre)

Canon non-Westerosi Valyrians:

Jaenara Belaerys, Aurion

Canon Dragons:

Urrax, Terrax, Balerion, Vhagar, Meraxes, Vermithor, Caraxes, Meleys, Syrax, Vermax, Arrax, Tyraxes, Tessarion, Shrykos, Morghul, Viserion, Rhaegal

Unknown — Gaelithox?, Aegarax?

Original & HV Derived (some more suitable for dragons) — Aelsior, Qaelys, Qylys, Vhenys, Vhenya, Vhinyae, Vhanir, Vaenir, Vaenyx, Baelykos, Lykael, Lykaera, Raqael, Raqel, Raqys, Raqyssa, Raqissa, Raqar, Raqir, Raqor, Raqora, Raqior, Kionar, Malkion, Malkios, Vhaltir, Malkior, Vaedys, Vaedar, Elenys, Elenia, Elēnar, Elenarys, Elenarya, Elenara, Kostys, Kostir, Kostior, Pelarys, Pelonia, Pelonys, Eledrae, Eledrys, Eledryn, Peria, Perza, Perzys, Zysa, Amisor, Amisa, Aexior/Aeksior, Aexion/Aeksion, Raenion, Raenior, Qana, Qanys, Qantys, Ēbrior, Ēbrion, Ēbria, Jelmys, Jelmarys, Jelmazys, Jelissa, Tessarys, Tessara, Tessarae, Dessan, Dessenae, Hārys, Tōmarr, Tōmarys, Tōmasyn, Tessarax, Syrion, Syriel, Jēdarys, Jēdaria, Jorrael, Trēzos, Elilla, Vāedan, Ōrbēdon

Possible High Valyrian roots for names:

Rhaen — to; meet, find, encounter, discover

Bael — to help, to aid, to assist

Jael — to want, to wish/to store, to house

Jaelarys — hope (possible name)

[darkestspring]

Conquerors w baby maegera

they're all fighting over who gets to hold her.

none of them have any clue how to hold a baby until their mom comes and shows them and then aegon literally passes a fucking law that only he can see maegara on mondays and visenya has to be held back from killing him

visenya gifts maegara a dagger for her first name day which rhaenyra fights with her about becuase rhaenys thinks she should get baby things and no lethal weapons.

they all fight about which egg maegara should receive.

no peace. they're always fighting about who maegara loves more.

they also fight over who has the most bite marks.

rhaenys is the two week reigning champion of most bitemarks. ("they're means of affection!" she shouts in victory. "I WIN!!! SHE LOVES ME THE MOST!!" "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Visenya yells back at her, dagger in hand. neither visenya nor aegon are pleased by the outcome)

[mythvoiced]

@astremourante | continued

---

She never does.

Amelia never shrinks back. He would have been terribly disappointed had she begun to do so now of all times. No, when the god of roads chooses to skin his own demeanour and remove all he's applied to get certain reactions out of her, only for her to start cowering, no, he'd been... devastated.

Or as devastated as an Olympian could possibly become.

Perhaps that's where the safety in interacting with him lies. His ability to expect simultaneously more and less. Or perhaps his inherent fondness towards the outlaw and mortals as a whole.

Or perhaps he hadn't spoken out of turn of his own characterisation, moved by the desire to still whatever in him longed to claim her in some sort of way or the other. Perhaps Amelia was his favourite not because he decided it so - always on behalf of the mortal as well, how many lovers had Zeus that had never wanted to love him at all - but because she did.

When their lips meet, she made the decision. She is the one who decides what to take and what to give and she does it with feral sense of punishment he'd only expected out of a fury - not at he'd dare come close to the likes of Maegera and her sisters, also because they were terribly dull when compared to her.

Their lips hardly meet (too kind a word) at all, he lets her yank him down as though he was a quaking wooden ship and she was a golden anchor, more intent on dragging him into her depths than actually supporting, halting him in any way. She holds the reigns, she's the siren to all the men who had ripped themselves in half to reach her sharp teeth and sharper coasts, she's the pull of the Styx no mortal can resist, she is a domain in on herself.

Oh.

He likes that.

Amelia Sinclair as a divine domain. And he's the god hovering over her domain, an Olympian who's shadow is poignant enough that it both welcomes and scares challengers off. Olympians love to fight over their mortals, their favourites, but sometimes lines are drawn thickly enough that the potentials of play are removed entirely from the equation.

No one approaches Ariadne, so established on Dionysus' arm.

Amelia has the liberty of decision and the liberty of domain. Amelia has all liberty she could want... all within reason, of course. He's not stupid enough to take on Helios or lighten Atlas' load, but he knows she's not stupid to ask for the impossible either.

She's not stupid at all. She's mastery in human craftsmanship, she's shattered and scarred and she's forged herself claws and fangs that sting ten times for every time one she'd been cut.

He lets her manhandle him as she pleases because she tries to. Because she looked at her broken self and decided to become uglier to achieve her own salvation.

No, Hermes doesn't want her on her knees. She needn't beg at all. All he asks is that she stays exactly as she is... and punishes as she goes along. Not him, no, no. Why should she, anyway? There is so much to do in this world, biting off more than she could chew seems hardly at the top of her list of priorities.

Right?

He grins at first and then laughs. He grins against her mouth as it scrapes against his, all teeth and statements, she is strong enough, she doesn't need him, she doesn't need his desire or his attention or his superiority to her.

But she'll take it anyway.

Good, he'd hoped she would.

He doesn't let her go far, his arm wraps around her middle, holds her a little closer, a little tighter than necessary. If she wanted to run, she could at any moment. He'd even let her hit him, why not. But he can only let her go after he's looked at her once more, after he's breathed laughter onto her words.

"Oh, I know that," his eyes glow like those of the first man who'd realised the West had something the East didn't: gold in its rivers. His smile glows like a dragon's hoarding his coin or a thief's with quick fingers staring down at the jewels filling his pouch.

"I know that, Amelia, doesn't mean I can't offer anyway, right?" A little lift of his eyebrow, the smile shapes into a grin.

He sneaks his other arm around her too, holds her loosely now, almost adoringly, as though they were closer, as though he was kinder. As though either of them were gentler creatures. "You always get what you want, hm?" He lifts the first hand, rubs his index along the unfamiliar of the lipstick stuck to his skin, to his lips, checks his finger as though he could find something mighty interesting written there.

Perhaps he should care to not grow to underestimate her. "I'm the god of thieves and the god of wit. I'd hoped you knew to claim and how to claim what you want, people and consequences be damned," he tilts his head to one side, and maybe, if you look closely, his smile takes a touch of softness reserved for fabrics softer than the textures of a god. "Though... if I may suggest, you should be cunning enough to take advantage of my fondness of you."

[valyrianvalors]

is naming my muse maegara/maegera too similar to megara from hercules? do i care? many thoughts.

[cold-arrow]

Doctor’s Notes, Book5 part 20

| The Price of Fortune |

Summary, Things of Note since last entry:

What to do. Her royal highness, princess Cinderhild the handmaidens. Lym the emissary The dollhouse, rest and reprieve. One's dream of adventure. Mom and Dad. The Forge Duke Zalto, lord of the fire giants, The forge’s fire: Maegera, the primordial titan

Lym's second miracle

| 1 / 7 | took us a while to decide on how to proceed from there. I’m both surprised, and relieved neither the Duke nor the Duchess returned to their bedchamber, in the time it took us to decide on what to do. On how to deal with the issue or conundrum before us. Do… do we try and convince Angelo to come with us, and leave. Return to the forge at a later date? Or do we stay. and try to reclaim the primordial titan now. Any other plan, or choice is pretty much just a variation, continuation of the second option. And I don’t that think the first one is really an option anyways. None of us want to abandon Angelo. And I don’t think we’ll be able to convince him anyways. So the real question is, I suppose.  How , do we retrieve Meagera. A lot of the options we considered included: hiding in the bedchamber of the lords. And either try to assassinate them. or get a night’s rest. But.. there was nowhere, or no place within the room that we were confident enough in the end, that we’d want to gamble hiding there. so instead, to hopefully help make the decision easier, I offered to scout around a bit, look for a better. Using one of my transmutation elixirs to turn someone, myself in this case, into a… gaseous states? is the best way I can describe it. -- utilizing my new, more ethereal form. I decided to first check out what the crying was about in the other room below us. The back half of the room was bit scarcely lit. But in themore  illumined half, I could definitely make out that it was some sort of bedroom as well, for two kids. Two  Giant  kids. And lying on the bed, on the left side, was a “little” girl crying and snifling. Or throwing a tantrum? I looked around for a moment, to see if there was anything useful in the room, and the longer I remained, the more I got the impression that… like she was indeed throwing a tantrum. (not too dissimilar to… Lym throwing a fit to be honest, but a bit more immature. And she genuinely seemed sad.) I… don’t think she is the favoured child of the two. Im pretty sure that other bed in the room belongs to her brother. The one Omrick saw in hallways above. And both by the way he described him, and from what I could gleam from this room and her… situation? There definitely seems to be a discrepancy in how to two are likely treated. I kind of pity her. If firegiants really only value strength for the most part, I doubt things are easy for you if you’re not as confident or strong. like myself. I got the distinct feeling though, that they’d seen me or something. Or had noticed the strange cloud floating around the room. And while I was tempted to perhaps write a reassuring message in like a mirror or something. I… didn’t want to overstay my welcome or get caught, and quickly moved on. -- other things of note I saw while I was scouting the nearby rooms, Was an iron construct. A rather large one at that. secluded in room north of the mess hall. Not entirely sure what the room was for, but it was empty at the very least. And there was an interesting piece of metal, or an ingot(?) , engraved with some kind of rune within its forehead. A shield rune I think. it seemed removable, or something I could take with me or dislodge with enough effort. but I still didn’t really want to take the risk. Both in fear that it might suddenly awaken from its deactivated state, or that a giant might come in and spot me while trying. I only managed to explore on more room after that. The rest of the fortress was too dark to explore unfortunately. And I definitely didn’t want to get lost exploring more either. The last room wasn’t really that useful either sadly. For it appeared to be the kitchen. With several ogres and goblins and orcs, helping the giant cook/chef who was working there. It didn’t really seem like the best place to hide. And I didn’t want to stick around long enough to see if they were gonna use any people in their recipes, so I quickly left and reconvened with the others. Sharing my findings with them.

| 2 / 7 | it either came down to hiding there in the bedchambers of the fire lords. Or… another idea that we began to consider  ( in our naivety, ) was if we could convince… The crying giant girl, to let us stay and hide in her room. That is,  IF  She is even willing to talk. and wont just straight up eat us or cry for help, and alert the entire fortress of our presence. none of us seemed particularly confident in talking to her either… To try and convince her. -- I didn’t really have to confidence, at the very least. Or think I’d be able keep my already frayed nerves under control to have any semblance of composure, while talking to her. -- Lym was eventually the one brave enough to knock on her door. And… it went surprisingly well, all things considered. As we headed to the daughter’s room though, we were spotted by a goblin. But hey didn’t really seem to care for some reason? Both mine as well as Lym’s invisibility had worn of at that point, so I was just thinking of trying to perhaps sneak across to the other side of hallway. But… they were just right, standing around the corner. I still really don’t understand why they didn’t react though. Just In case, I thought to perhaps bribe them with one of my rations. But they didn’t seem too enthausiastic about that either when I dropped it. They were cleaning the floor. And might perhaps just have thought that I was littering… Lym was kind enough to pay them some gold instead, which they seemed to do the trick, and was accepted with a sigh. I… kinda would have thought that food would have been more valuable. But I guess not. * maybe they thought we were just visitors? Do they have humanoid visitors often here? And who would even come to this place? and for what purpose?

| 3 / 7 | nevertheless, after we managed to open the door, we decided to till knock and be at least somewhat polite. And Lym led the charge, and went it first. And just started very politely, and cordially talking to her. -- Her guards / handmaidens didn’t seem too pleased with the unexpected “guests” at first. Asking what our business was, and more importantly, To leave. But once Lym started addressing the little giant girl instead of them, asking her what she wanted. If she needed anything, and complimenting her, Assuring her of her position and status. She seemed to kinda brighten up a bit, gain some confidence. Though childish and nature, her tears dried and she was more than happy to pretend or act like the royalty, that she technically was. Playing up her position, and ordering the guards to stand down and listen to her, much to her own joy. ( And Lym’s as well.) -- I think she definitely enjoyed kind of coercing the giant girl to stand up for herself and have the guards submit/subjugate to her. After some introductions, Lym asked her where to forge, or her parents where, saying that we had business with them. But she seemed to get a bit gloomy, once we mentioned that we weren’t necessarily there to visit her. Lym quickly reassured her that she was more than willing to spend some time with her instead, if she so wished. Which seemed to cheer her up a bit.. After some more compliments, and encouraging of her royal position as a princess, they actually started to get along pretty well/nicely. Much the her guards dismay. I eventually entered and introduced myself as well, which I regret in hindsight. For as soon as entered the room, she picked me up and started calling me her… “dolly”. Trying to suppress a smile, Lym tried to tell her that I was her “”advisor or attendant”” and that I wasn’t really a gift, or for sale. But… she very much would have liked to keep my I think. Which… I worry and fear to think of what would have become of me of she did. Instead she seemed content to just hold me within her vice like grip, as she and Lym continued talking. The handmaidens eventually had enough though. Either lost their patience with the hole visitors thing, or sensing some of Lym bullshit. So they started becoming more forceful in asking her to leave. Threatening her. Poor sods didn’t really stand a chance though. -- The first one was polymophed into a rabbit by Lym, much to Princess Cinderhild’s delight.(  As her name turns out to be.) And the other I shrunk and… accidently incinerated with a bolt of fire, that was a bit more potent then I expected. I’m not sure what happened to the rabbit either, if it was… eaten by the princess or if it escaped. But I pity the two handmaidens that were stationed there that day. The… incinerated one was eventually scraped of from the floor and cleaned up by the goblins. Hope the rabbit didn’t end up in stew.

| 4 / 7 | I guess Lym has now made another rather peculiar friend. The two of them ended up having a tea party eventually. As Lym managed to convince her to let us rest and hide in her room. Promising in return to free her, and help her escape her father’s fortress. Apparently her brother is an unbearable brat (which isn’t much of surprise) , and she very much wants to leave this place, and explore the world. Taking to the idea that, Angelo was a knight in shining armour here, to help her escape as well. With Lym being the wizardly emissary, here to make a distraction with her magics. ** I kind of feel for the little giant girl. Trapped here, in her father’s home. Cant imagine life here being easy. With only the very strongest ruling and leading the people, and all that. And her brother being the favourite child, instead of her. So, I’m kind of happy to help her escape. I hope she’ll be alright though, if she does. bec… well… she is a giant after all. -- we ended up taking a rest in her dollhouse. While we hid in her room for the night. And by dollhouse I mean    An actual house, that her father had picked up and just taken with him at somepoint and giving to her. I hope the resident weren’t home when he did. Decided to keep watch, and while looking around the house for a bit. Curious to see who or what the previous residents were like, I found a rather peculiar and curious looking backpack. I will have to inspect in more detail later, but it appears to have either some elemental, or evocation properties to it? Or transmutation actually, I think. It… im pretty sure, from what I could tell, that summons and alters the gravity around the person by… summoning some sort of power of the elemental air magic within? But it seems to have no… source? Or power.  Or its empty? I think there used to be a minor air elemental bound to it at somepoint. But it has long since escaped or departed. I think that it’s magic has to be restored in order for it to regain its properties, and be usable again. But… it’s quite the clever invention. I wonder who made it. -- If we go through with our plan tomorrow, to help young lady Cinderhild escape. And to defeat her mother and father.  We’ll probably have to find a way to create a distraction, (which shouldn’t be too difficult I don’t think,) so that she can escape and both sneak up and out through the elevator. I might have something else in mind to help her, If need be.

| 5 / 7 | The duchess or her mother is within the kitchen at the moment, and her father is most likely at the forge. We are gonna have to deal with atleast one of them to help Cinder escape. But, to hopefully make things easier for her, I offered to make her invisible. She seemed a bit apprehensive at first, worrying she’d trip over hereself and her own feet if she couldn’t see them. But I tried to reassure her that she’d be fine. And to just be careful while walking. That we’d take care of the rest. Honestly, I have to admit, she is quite sweet ( despite her terrifying size ) … we… we defeated him. Duke Zalto, lord of the firegaints. But at what cost… we got Maegera. Recaptured herm with Angelo’s Iron flask. But… … Things started out relatively well. We were initially thinking of dealing with the Duchess first, within the kitchen. But eventually, we thought better of it. Not wanting drain ourselves, and to save our strength for when we faced Lord Zalto at his forge. So we instead left the kitchen behind. Said our goodbyesm and goodlucks to Cinderhild. And tried to find our way to the forge. To the Vonindod. To where Maegera was kept. And there, playing with the some incinerated corpse within an spherical Iron prison. Tossed like a dog toy, for his vicious and hellish hounds, Was duke Zalto. Patiently waiting and taking a break from his work by the forge. His enormous iron hammer lying besides him. The distant shape of figure, trapped behind the bars inside the head of hammer, could barely be made out. The poor soul. Any a those who were prisoners here, slaves. Must have had a gruesome fate waiting for them, at hands of the iron lord fire. And I pray for the souls that have passed, before we arrived there today. I pray for… someon. For some of their souls even now. we tried to get closer. To spot or find out where Maegera was being kept or held. Which was hopefully not within the Iron flask that the Duke carried himself. But we soon discovered that the unbearable scorching heat was coming from the colossal furnace where she was instead. Located at the north side of Forge’s room. Out of reach. Even though we could have maybe walked or snuck up there. I… don’t think we could have made it, will while the Duke was still alive and breathing.

| 6 / 7 | we didn’t get very far into the room before we were spotted. His dogs being the first to notice us, after the iron prison ball was offhandedly tossed our way. Don’t think any of us really minded that much. Partially cause of the unbearable heat, we wanted to get it over with as soon as possible. And before reinforcement could arrive. In hindsight though, if we could have snuck up on him. It, might have changed things. Though that can be said of many things we did really. the hounds engulfed us in their hellish fire, but we managed to fight them off relatively quickly. But they were more obedient then wild or anything. Retreating by Duke’s command, so they could strike at us again later, with their blazing rapid speed and agility. Omrick and Angelo were able to lay into him pretty well, once they got close to the Duke. But he was by far, anything but easy to take down. His endurance and might, as the leader and strongest of the Fire giants, really beginning to show when he began to drive and pummel the others Into the ground with his hammer. When he lifted equipment and metal, and pieces of the vonindod, larger than houses or trees from the ground. And hurling them at us like they were nothing. weighed nothing. And setting us alight with the magmaous fire he summoned, and commanded. Like rivers of molten rock and blazing air washing over us, as if summoned the fire from deep within the earth below. If… it weren’t fo   If it weren’t for Lym keeping us alive. Healing us with her divine magic. Mending our wounds, and injuries, and burns as we were beaten down and mauled by the sheer force of the blows from the Duke. We wouldn’t have lived beyond the first part of our encounter and fight with him. she healed us, time and time again. These powerful waves of divine magic and healing washing over us, not even just one or twice. She healed me. After I was crushed and bludgeoned beneath the building sized chunks of steel that were thrown at me. Cured me of all my burn and physical wounds, and kept in me, kept all of us in the fight long enough, to hopefully escape if need be. but no matter how much she healed everyone, tried to keep them alive. It was only just barely enough. Which… she couldn’t keep up forever. Until eventually, it wasn’t enough to keep us from falling. Angelo was the first to go down. To fall. He was quickly brought back up again. But not in a state where’d he’d be able to keep going or fighting for much longer. The duke was finally starting to show some wear and. To be wear down. Show his fatigue. But.. that’s also when reinforcements started to arrive. Carrying another piece of the Vonindod, that they’d brought along with them. And gave the Duke a chance to back off for a moment. Divide and conquer. And… that’s when things really started to take a turn for the worse. Baras managed to impede and blind their vision, of the newly arrived troops. Summoning a snowstorm, or blizzard to halt their charge on us. To delay them. But they eventually made it through. And unleashed a barrage of arrows and attacks along the way. weakening us. Wearing us all down instead. And Angelo kept falling beneath their blows. Even Omrick started to look pretty rough. The combined efforts of the giants and the hobgoblins ganging up on him wearing him out as well.   

| 7 but that wasn’t the final straw. The others had told me to run. To retreat, back to one of the bedrooms. So that they could grab Maegera if need be, and just teleport away. but… I couldn’t just abandon them. They… We weren’t doing well. And they still needed my help. So I watched as Angelo started to make his way to the Forge where Meagera was. Fighting the unbearable heat as he got closer and closer, as well as the barrage of attacks that he had suffered and pushed through. But he didn’t make it. He got almost close to touch it. But Duke Zalto simply smashed him into the ground with is hammer. And Baras was next. He had tried to impede and weaken the Duke with his spells, but he’d simply just shrugged off most of his magic every time he tried to cast something. So, he eventually opted to just focus and using on offensive magic instead. To try and just bring him down as quickly as possible. But he paid for it, as the Duke got tired of magic he kept throwing his way. Baras tried to reach and join Angelo at the forge, to help him, and teleport away once he had secured Maegera. But moments after Angelo fell, he was pummelled into the ground as well. Still alive. Still standing, but… in Really Bad Spot. And about to go down as well. And, I tried sprinting their was as fast as I could. Hoping to either heal, either one of them. Or weaken the duke enough, so that they could take him out before…. before one of us truly fell… Angelo wasn’t getting back up anymore. And Omrick was starting to get overwhelmed and still fighting of the reinforcements. But before I could do anything… Everything just stopped. Ceased. Started to be unmade. I watched as Lym prayed from the corner of my eyes as I rushed towards Baras. And suddenly…    A blinding flash of light engulfed her. Lit up the darkness, and washed over the entirety room as she lifted of the ground… These iridescent strands of magic(?) suddenly becoming visible. Appearing around her. From her. It… it seemed, or sounded similar to what the others had described before. When she’d performed her first miracle. But my words can barely capture or describe what I saw. What she was like in that moment.

but… something seemed off. After the initial burst of radiant light… or wrong? … Different from what the others had described before. And suddenly she just fell to the floor. As more and more threads began coming off of her. Like almost is if she was unravelling. Bits and pieces of them going everywhere. Spindling away, or unspooling. stretching out across the room like a web or net. Or pattern… reaching out to anything that was here, within this room. On of them connected to Angelo, who was only barely hanging on by a thread at that point. But as it reached him… his wounds started to heal. All his flesh knitting back together, the bruises fading. Till… he was simply restored. These same treads reached out to Baras and Omrick and… me. Mending and healing all of our wounds. I watched as they snaked across the entirety of the room. Digging into, and wrapping around Duke Zalto. And I watched… as he choked and crumbled and fell to the ground. Crumbling away like ash. The same happening to hobgoblins and other giants that were there  within the room. Just… collapsing to floor. And by the time I looked back to where Lym was. She… was gone. Had entirely vanished. A last few of these beautiful iridescent threads, evaporating from where she had been. Where she had collapsed to the floor. But she was nowhere to be seen. I looked around. Trying to figure out Where she had gone to. If she had gone invisible. or teleported away. but… she was just gone. I… didn’t see her anywhere. All of us looked around confused. Either dazed or in awe of what just had happened. But none of us saw her. What remained of Duke Zalto, laid in front of his giant forge. He had rushed toward it. To do something. -- I think… he was going to unleash Maegera. And let her destroy and eradicate everything. Himself included, and everyone within this fortress. But… he fall apart before he could reach her. And Angelo quickly took his Iron flaks and brought it to opening of the enormous forge. The heat and fire draining from it. from this room. Until all the primordial fire and energy had been taken and absorbed into the iron container. There… was so much of it. But I didn’t really care at that point. I was just trying to figure out, what just had happened. Trying to wrap my mind around it.   What she’d done. Where she had gone to.    The… miracle that she just performed, and that I just witnessed. I… still don’t understand What just happened. I’m trying to wrap my mind around it, but I cant. It’s just… this blazing radiant light, of iridescent colours and patterns and threads. But… it doesn’t make sense. what I saw. What she showed us. The power she summoned, and that which gave and granted it. How…

I called out to her. Called her name. looking to find out where where she was. Where she had gone to. But she didn’t respond. We waited... But nothing. The others started to get worried about… There were still other giants here. A fortress full of the deadly hulking figures wreathed in flame. And… we were exhausted. We had to get out. Omrick quickly checked the remains of Duke Zalto, as Angelo grabbed Maegera. Baras was kind of just standing there, processing. And… I just looked around, trying to take in what just happened.    To understand. The heat was starting to really strain my eyes, I think. I tried to rub the pain out of them. But… thought to at least try something. I grabbed my some of eyes drops. The arcane ones. To hopefully help see and better understand the magic or… , What she did. I… was nearly blinded again. By the ambient magic, and radiant divine power that still lingered throughout the entire room. But… it didn’t help. Didn’t explain What I saw or witnessed. -- From what I heard, it was similar to her other miracle. The unravelling of magic, the light. And I could see th… I could see that. But… I noticed something else. I… don’t think the others saw. Noticed my expression, or the deep sinking feeling or void that I felt. I… I grabbed it and… carefully put it away. Where has she gone to, Where did Lym go? What did she do, and… where is she? --  we are leaving. Leaving the fortress and forge behind. Leaving th…  we grabbed what we could for now and teleported back to the mansion. We’re safe. But it doesn’t really feel that way. We defeated the duke. Retrieved Maegera. But it doesn’t feel that way... My head is swimming and… I haven’t let go of the diamond that I always keep with me just in case. Clutched it, as we made our way back through the fortress. As we teleported back. And al  are now back at he mansion. I don’t really feel it anymore, as it digs into the flesh of my palm. I don’t know what to do. I don’t understand. Where did Lym go.   | finale, End of part 3 |

[hel777]

Meg in a suit

[artemis-entreri]

[[ Following up on the title and summary announce, Gizmodo has released the cover for the next Drizzt book, “Relentless”, the conclusion to the Generations Trilogy. Furthermore, the preview teased features not Drizzt, Zaknafein, nor any other drow. Instead, a certain human assassin apparently takes the spotlight, despite the character illustrated on the cover of the book. ]]

[[ Who is this mysterious elf? Presumably, it’s a drow, although the coloring scheme makes that uncertain. I’m guessing it’s Zaknafein, as Drizzt and Jarlaxle have both been featured already, but it’s honestly hard to tell. Zaknafein is described as having short hair earlier in the Generations Trilogy and this character appears to have long hair, but that could just be due to the vague shape definitions in the artwork. It appears that this mysterious figure also has facial hair in the form of a goatee. His armor doesn’t look like anything we’ve seen before, so I’m hoping it is indeed Zaknafein and not something silly like Artemis Entreri turned into a drow. 

Without further ado, the excerpt from “Relentless”: ]] 

Artemis Entreri stood at the edge of the chasm that held the primordial of fire, his jeweled dagger laying loosely atop his open and up-facing palm. He stared at the weapon, hatred in his eyes, but only because that dagger was a reflection on him. He understood that now. He realized now, after his stint in the cocoon of conscience, that his worst crimes were those when he had put this evil weapon to use.

Entreri had killed many foes, both in battle and in secret. He had lived as a hired assassin. Always had he justified his work by telling himself that he had never killed anyone who hadn’t deserved it – the world was a brutal place, after all. He still believed that to some extent, except for this particular weapon. He hadn’t just killed people with this weapon, he had obliterated their souls and stolen whatever afterlife might have awaited them.

How many of his victims had deserved that?

He couldn’t justify it, not ever.

He stood there staring, contemplating, and the biggest question twisting his thoughts in that dark moment was whether he should simply toss the weapon to its destruction or jump in beside it.

A fall, a flash of intense pain, and it would be over.

The man winced. Nay, it was not a fear of death that kept him on that ledge, but the fear now of what awaited him when he crossed that final river.

Perhaps that was the true torture of Sharon, he considered. She had shown him what awaited him, making him fear death more than he hated life.

“Damn it all,” the broken man whispered, his words disappearing under the continual hiss of the dripping water falling to the heat below. “Damn that I was ever born.”

“Once I might have agreed with you,” came an unexpected response, and the assassin spun about to see Catti-brie and Yvonnel walking up behind him.

“There was an Artemis Entreri I thought worthless,” Catti-brie continued. “That is not the man standing before me now.”

“We have already had this discussion,” Yvonnel reminded the man. “You have been given a great gift.”

“A gift,” Entreri echoed with a snort.

“A message, then, and, clearly, a powerful one,” the drow restated, staring at his open hand and the dagger. “You wish to destroy that weapon?”

“Perhaps I’ll drop it in and it will eat the primordial,” Entreri mused.

“Not hardly,” said Yvonnel.

“If you wish, I’ll bring it down for you,” Catti-brie offered. She paused and smiled. “Didn’t you try to do the same with the sword you still carry?” It was a rhetorical question, of course, for Entreri had indeed thrown Charon’s Claw into the chasm, only to have it retrieved by this very same Catti-brie.

Entreri laughed at the reminder. “It would seem that I have been long cursed with evil weapons.”

“Weapons are merely tools,” Yvonnel said. “The intent is in the heart of the wielder, not the blade.”

“One could argue that the dirk Regis carries is equally vile,” Catti-brie reminded. “Or the sword I once carried.”

“The sword that nearly drove you insane, if I recall,” Entreri said dryly.

“Because I was not nearly experienced enough and skilled enough to control the base instincts it teased,” Catti-brie said. “Such is not the case now, as with you and your sword.”

“Is death at the hands of simple iron any less death than that with your dagger?” Yvonnel asked.

“Yes, that is the point,” said Entreri.

Yvonnel looked at him doubtfully.

“The dagger eats the souls of its victims, so they say,” Catti-brie explained.

“And gives to me their physical health,” Entreri added.

“Yes, yes,” Yvonnel said. “This is why Zhindia Melarn was so outraged at the loss of her daughter to your dagger. I remember now. The girl could not be resurrected because of the manner of her death.”

“Because the magic of this dagger obliterated her soul,” Entreri said, and he thought then of simply letting it fall into the pit.

“That cannot be,” Yvonnel replied, giving him pause. He looked at her curiously.

“One cannot ‘obliterate’ a soul,” Yvonnel explained. “Such energy is eternal, beyond the gods, even, and surely beyond the power of a simple dagger.”

“You just said that Zhindia was outraged because…”

“Because her daughter could not be brought back from the afterlife,” said Yvonnel.

“Because she had no afterlife,” Entreri reasoned.

Catti-brie looked to Yvonnel, who was shaking her head.

“If the souls are not destroyed, then is it possible that they have instead, been absorbed and trapped in the dagger?” Catti-brie said. “Is it a phylactery of sorts?”

“That is possible,” said Yvonnel, who looked from Catti-brie to Entreri. “Or perhaps they reside in another person now.”

“In me?”

“You just said that the dagger grants you your victim’s physical health. Perhaps there is more to it.”

Entreri blanched at the thought, and then thought once more that he should accompany the dagger to the fiery maw of the primordial!

“If that is true, either case, then they can be exorcised,” Catti-brie put in. “Set free.”

“Then I should throw the damned thing into the pit,” said Entreri, but Catti-brie was shaking her head.

“I know a better way.” She smiled and nodded, clearly considering a course.

“Do you intend to share?” Entreri asked after a few moments.

“Patience,” Catti-brie said. “Make no final decisions until I have considered our course, I beg. For now, though, I have something else I must see to.” She stepped up past Entreri, pulling him back from the ledge and replacing him on the lip of the chasm.

“I still do not agree,” Yvonnel said. “There must be a safer choice.”

“Maybe, but what time do we have?” Catti-brie replied.

“Then give to me your ring and let me do this.”

Catti-brie shook her head. “You said you would help me. I welcome your enchantments.”

“Do what?” Entreri asked, but they didn’t seem to be listening.

“You risk your child,” Yvonnel said.

“How much do we risk if I do not do this?”

“You don’t even know if the primordial will hear you. nor can you predict its response if it does! It is a creature of long-past millennia. Its way in the world is not ours, is not known to us, more foreign even than the beings we name as gods. Please, child, my experience is vast in such matters. Lend me your ring that I might go and speak with the creature.”

Catti-brie seemed to be considering it, even put the thumb and finger of her other hand upon the ring, as if to pull it off.

“It knows me,” she said at length, speaking as much to herself as to her companions, bolstering herself, obviously, for this task ahead.

“It cares nothing for you or any of us,” Yvonnel countered. “We cannot even know what brings it pleasure, what dreams or desires…”

“It knows me, and I know it,” Catti-brie said with finality, holding up her hand to ward the woman, who was leaning toward her, back. “I’ve been down there before in communion with the creature.”

Yvonnel considered the words, then finally surrendered with a nod. She held up a finger, bidding Catti-brie to pause, then cast a powerful dweomer over Catti-brie, one that the pregnant woman had to accept and allow to take hold upon her. Then Yvonnel began casting more mundane enchantments, throwing wards against heat and flame over Catti-brie, creating magical enhancements upon the woman to bolster her in the face of such a beast as awaited her in the pit.

“Promise me that when this is done, that when we have won the day, you will grant me that ring that I, too, might experience a communion with this most magnificent creature.”

“It’s a damned volcano!” Entreri reminded, but the two women just replied with smiles.

On a sudden thought, Catti-brie took out the onyx figurine of Guenhwyvar and held it out toward Yvonnel. She pulled it back, though, and couldn’t help but shake her head at her instinct. She intended to protect the panther by handing the figurine off, while still going down into the chasm with her child in her womb?

Catti-brie laughed aloud at the seeming absurdity and shook her head, and for a moment, the woman was unsure of…everything!

What was this madness? Why wasn’t she just forcing her friends to teleport to safety, or at least, taking her unborn child to safety, instead of trying to parlay with a god-like being that was more a volcano than anything sentient to which she could relate?

After another moment, though, she sorted it all out. She was doing this because it was what she and her friends, particularly her husband, has always done. She wouldn’t shy in the face of danger, even in the face of danger to her child. No, because the cost was too high. They had to win here, for all the goodly folk of the region, including the child in her womb.

They had to win.

They all needed her to be a part of that.

Catti-brie started to extend her arm once more, but then changed her mind and instead called Guenhwyvar to her side. The grey mist formed into the great panther, and Catti-brie bent low and whispered instructions into the panther’s ear.

Guen leaped away, darting out of the room.

Catti-brie tossed the figurine to Artemis Entreri, not Yvonnel. “If I don’t return, give it to Zaknafein,” she instructed.

The stunned man looked at her.

“Yes,” she said. “I trust you in this. “Do not betray that trust, and do not insult us all in this moment of need by worrying about yourself above others.”

That brought a scowl from Entreri, but one that only lasted a moment, replaced by a helpless laugh and a nod.

“Drizzt believed in you,” Catti-brie told him.

Catti-brie cast her own warding spell, then, and stepped off the cliff.

[[ Ho boy, there’s a lot potentially going on here, and, in my opinion, things don’t look great. 

Rather than easing up on the forced redemption arc that Artemis Entreri is pushed down, Salvatore seems to have elected to charge full speed ahead. As suspected, the "cocoon of conscience" is yet another lazy plot device to introduce "character development" in such a way that makes Idalia's Flute look like a masterpiece idea. For one like Entreri, being entrapped in a device that shows him the horrors of what awaits him in the afterlife wouldn't and shouldn't automatically translate into the development of a conscience about what he's wrought onto others, and the same would apply to any value judgments that would be made in conjunction with that development.

It's heartbreaking to me, because Entreri doesn't even sound like himself anymore. Instead, he's like a wanna-be talking the talk but hardly walking the walk, a Drizzt-clone who has killed the character I fell in love with, put on his skin, and performs a sad mimicry of the assassin. Entreri's being shoved into this mold where he's yet another accessory to the Companions of the Hall.

The one decent thing that this passage does do is suggest that the source of Entreri's longevity is the jeweled dagger rather than Charon's Claw. The tie-in to Claw always felt rather made up on the spot, added in as a cheap source of quick tension-building.

As far as position in the book is concerned, I would guess that this passage takes place in the first third, with enough drama occurring such that everyone would learn of Drizzt's disappearing act, and think him dead (hence Catti-brie's usage of the past tense of "trust" when talking to Entreri). It's very unlikely that Drizzt is indeed dead, but I suppose the chance exists that he is. More and more people are favoring Artemis Entreri over Drizzt, so it might be Salvatore shifting focus to a new protagonist, as he did with Drizzt over Wulfgar in the beginning. Salvatore did hint to a fan that he was far from done with Entreri, however, in my opinion, this is far from a good thing. Boundless was bad enough that some of Salvatore’s most loyal fans questioned if he had indeed written the book, thinking that there’s no way that their beloved author could pen something so horrendous. I feel that this really goes to show how low the quality of Drizzt and his fellows have sank, and perhaps this is the impetus for Salvatore needing to shift gears. As such, I find myself ironically wishing that Drizzt is indeed alive and well and continues to be the focus of these books so that Entreri is spared Salvatore's decaying touch, for that seems to be all he is capable of these days. 

Yet, I will still continue to foolishly hold out hope that it’ll change. ]]

[starrypawz]

Things I’m thinkin about

Zag like brushing/braiding/putting up Meg’s hair for her

[feralborntrading]

🤝 𝗡𝗲𝘄 𝗖𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗮𝗯𝗼𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻!! Inspired by my collaboration with @katethefearlessbitch and The Armor of Margera we made. That armor was more character specific so I repurposed the art and changed up the features a little for this item.  Ignan Etched Armor Armor (leather), very rare (requires attunement)  This leather armor is covered in primordial symbols..  You have resistance to fire damage while you wear this armor. Heating up. If you take fire damage, you gain immunity to subsequent fire damage until the beginning of the next round. On Fire. If you take 10 or more points of fire damage in a round the armor’s appearance becomes charred and the symbols glow hot. You gain temporary hit points equal to the damage taken. If a creature hits you with a melee attack while you have these hit points, the creature takes fire damage equal to the remaining hit points.  Optional Feature from The Armor of Maegera item. When you use your Wildshape the armor transforms as well and retains its protective properties.  All critiques and comments are encouraged, welcome, and considered. Your feedback makes items better and I’m happy to revise and evolve items as needed.  As with all my items, these will also be uploaded to @dndbeyond to freely use in your campaign.  Thank you so much for the follows, likes, and inspiration!!  #dndhomebrew #dnd #dnd5e #dungeonsanddragons #dndart #dnditems #criticalrolefanart #criticalrole #ttrpg #d20 #rpg #magicitems    https://www.instagram.com/p/CMCnUuCheAS/?igshid=h4w2wfx6ts7t

[thornbound]

Underworld Lounge...

Maegera and Thanatos both find themselves in the lounge enjoying some downtime. They uncomfortably make eye contact.

Than: So, you and Zagreus?

Meg: Yes. You and Zagreus too?

Than: ... yes.

Meg: He is an idiot.

Than: By the Styx, yes. An absolute fool.

Meg: But he’s also...

Than: *nodding* and when he does that thing...

Meg: *nodding* exactly.

Than: I’m... having a thought.

Meg: I’m not averse. But it might kill Zagreus.

Than: Well, the walk back would be quick.

[momolady]

The Sky Pirates Part Two

I hope you’re enjoying this adventure!

 I walk back into my quarters from meeting with Iris and find Megaera looking through my collection of Cyrus’ carvings.

   “What are you doing?” I ask. “Do you just snoop through everyone’s personal belongings like that?” I stride up t her, taking the box and closing it.

   Megaera chuckles. “Nothing is secret between us, now that we’ll be married, what’s yours is mine.” She strokes my cheek, and I take a step aside as I put the box back on the shelves.

   Her eyes narrow on me and her feather’s start to ruffle. “What are those cheap little things?” She asks.

   “They’re special to me,” I grumble. “So I ask that you just leave them alone.”

   Megaera tilts her head and giggles. “Oh, I see,” she murmurs. “Sicyon told me you had a childhood sweetheart.”

   My heart starts to go wild. “What?” I laugh. “No! No,” I force the laugh harder, then blow a raspberry. “No.”

   Megaera’s smirk turns into a wicked grin. “Some boy who used to be part of the crew here. Now he’s a captain too.” She clicks her tongue and taps her chin. “Now what was the name of that ship?”

   There is a knock on the door and relief washes over me. “Who is it?” I call out.

   “Your mothers’ ship has returned,” Iris says from the other side.

   Megaeta claps her hands together. “Perfect.”

   Megaera has been on the ship for about five days now, each day is more unnerving than the last. She puts on the front of being excited and happy to be here, but there is this unnerving edge to her I can’t shake. She feels like the snake that’s ready to strike, and I can’t help but think that she and Sicyon have something up their sleeves.

   I walk out on deck to greet my mothers, they had gone to get supplies for the wedding. It was coming up fast, two days in fact, and every night I couldn’t help but pray that someone, anyone, would come and ruin it all. An attack, a balloon leak, anything, and everything would be welcomed.

   Iris had her own trepidations about this match as well. She feared that once Megaera and I were wed, she and most of the crew would be cast out.

   “If that were to be the case,” I said, “then I would give you money to get your own ship.”

   Iris shook her head. “You can’t make a move that risky!”

   “I can and I will,” I lay a chest on the table for her, and her purple eyes go wide.

   “Theai,” her voice cracks.

   I push the chest towards her. “If anything is going to happen, I want you and the crew to be safe. Take this chest and do what you see best with it. Buy your own Brigadoon, start your own crew, become the captain you’re supposed to be.”

   Iris stares at me as tears start to fill her eyes. “It won’t come to that!”

   “But if it does,” I grab her hand. “You have to be captain in my place.”

   Iris blinked a few tears from her eyes. “But what about you? What is this Megaera has her own plans for you?”

   “I’m sure she does,” I sigh. “But in the grand scheme of things, your lives outweigh mine. I promised to always protect my crew, and that’s what I’m doing. So take the chest, Iris. I know you know what to do.”

    I got back to my quarters, dreading that I am going to see Megaera again. As I open the door, I am stunned by what I see.

   “Darling, it’s way past your bedtime,” Cyrus says with a smirk.

   I quickly close the door and lock it. “What are you doing here?” I rush to him, throwing myself into his arms and kissing him.

   He nuzzles to my cheek. “I got a letter asking me to do something incredibly stupid. So here I am.”

   “But how did you get here unnoticed?” I’ve never felt so relieved and scared at the same time as I do in his arms.

   “Special camouflage,” Cyrus says with a smirk. “I have a very brilliant first mate. We’ve been flying underneath you for the past eight hours. We used the cover your mothers’ ship provides.”

“I’m just so happy to see you,” I sigh. “Wait!” I sit up. “What’d you do with Maegera?”

Cyrus furrows his brow. “Who?”

“My fiance! She’s barely left my room at all. Did you see her here?”

Cyrus looks over the edge of the bed and grins.

I lean over his legs, looking at the floor where Megaera is unconscious and tied up on the ground. I gasp then shoot up.

“What did you do?” I snap at him.

“She started it,” Cyrus scoffs then kisses me. “Now hurry, we need to go.” He grabs my hands and takes me over to the windows.

“I can’t just leave!” I snap at him. “What about the ship and the crew?”

Cyrus sets me up on the ledge. “Then Iris will become captain,” he says. “This will be her ship and her crew and-” he grins brightly as he laughs. “Your family and your blushing bride will be hers to command. Now, won’t they?” He throws open the windows and looks out over the edge.

“You can fly right?” He asks me over the howl and den of the wind.

“I hope you are not betting our lives on that!” I blurt.

Cyrus winks at me, and as he leans in for a kiss, Megaera charges and shoves him out the window. I scream, sitting up as I see the ropes are falling from her wrists. I look back out the window, seeing Cyrus is holding on for his dear life.

“I’ve got you, hold on!” I grab his hands, but Megaera wrenches me back, throwing me down on the ground.

“There is a reason why Furies don’t marry men,” Megaera snarls down at me. “I won’t have you fall to that fate.”

“Just wait!” I cry out.

Megaera stomps her heel down on Cyrus’s hand, and he yells in pain. “Men take and break,” she stomps again. “And they never repair what they’ve smashed.” She brings her heel down again, and Cyrus is holding on with one hand.

“That doesn’t mean you have to kill him!” I rush forward and dive out the window.

“Theai!” Megaera screams.

I spread my wings and swoop back, grabbing Cyrus just as he falls. I grab him, holding him under his armpits.

“See?” He grunts. “I knew this would work.”

“Barely,” I strain as I carry him.

I land us on the balloons of his ship and take a sigh of relief. Cyrus looks at me with a smile. “I think the broken hand was worth it.” He wipes at my cheeks. “You actually flew for me.”

“I had to do something,” I murmur.

“I don’t have wings,” he says, “but I would have done the same for you.” He then takes hold of a rope and ties himself to it. “Ready to head down to the Apollo?”

I nod. “Nowhere else I’d rather be.”

We climb down the ropes to his deck.  He calls out to his crew, ordering them to get out of the area as fast as possible. As we speed away, I watch as the Allecto and Tisiphone fade into the stars.

Cyrus stands beside me, holding his injured hand to his chest. “Iris will know what to do.”

“I know she does,” I whisper. “I just worry.” I scoff and touch his wrist. “Why haven’t you gone to the doctor yet?”

“Because I was worried about you,” Cyrus chuckles.

“Worry about me later! If you don’t go now, you’re going to wind up with one of the hook hands!” I snap at him.

“Look at that, not even married, and you’re already nagging me about my hook hand,” Cyrus teases.

I frown up at him, and he busts laughing.

“Oh, you’re fun.” He then nods. “I’ll go now. My cabin is at the other end of the ship.” He says. “Not far from where yours was on the Allecto.”

“Thanks,” I grumble.

“Get some rest,” he kisses my forehead. “I’ll come see you when I’m done.” He walks away and I towards the stairs that lead down into his cabin.

I sit down on the bed, my heart still hammering from everything that happened on the Allecto. I have no idea what Iris is dealing with right now. My biggest fear is that my mother, Sicyon will take over and command the Allecto again. I just have to hold out hope that Iris and the crew would never back down like that. It is Iris’ ship now, my mother has no rule. Or at least, O pray she doesn’t.

There’s a knock at the door, and a moment later a Rakshasa tiger walks in. “There you are,” he says with a grin.

“Padamo!” I race to him, wrapping my arms around him. “It’s been so long.”

He laughs and touches my face. His eyes are covered by a red cloth, he had lost both of them, as well as his right ear the hearing in it, during an accident on the Allecto. He had left with Cyrus to join the Apollo because my mothers weren’t sure what to do with a blind crewmember.

“Oh god,” he huffs. “Does Cyrus know you’re still ugly.”

“Of course he does,” I laugh.

“Oh good, it’s what he deserves,” Padamo grins. “Now tell me, do you still prefer the tea from the Kobold Freesia?”

I grin. “I sure do.”

“Well then,” he pulls in a cart from the hallway. “I was told to make sure you’re comfortable while Cyrus is tended to.” He pads his paw on the edge of the cart then picks up the teapot and pours a cup.

“I’m glad to see you’re doing well,” I say as I take the tea.

“Better than ever. It’s amazing what you can do with only one ear.” Padamo grins.

“Even when you were still in the infirmary you always knew when things were coming,” I reply.

“Don’t need eyes for what I can see. Don’t need ears either, really.” He sits down beside me. “The Allecto is safe,” he tells me. “She’s asked your mothers and Megaera to leave, and the crew is standing behind her.”

I sigh with relief. “And my mothers?”

“Sicyon wanted to attack, but Semnai has convinced her there are bigger enemies at foot, so the Allecto is safe from her wrath. But us-” he shrugs. “We’ll manage.”

I hug him tightly. “Oh that's wonderful to hear, thank you.”

“Ahem,” Cyrus clears his throat.

Padamo side steps. “My liege,” he bows low.

“I take it you informed her of the goings on Allecto?” Cyrus chuckles.

“Of course. I also told her all about your sexual proclivities and hang-ups while I was at it. Best to prepare the poor thing before the world crashes down around her,” Padamo shakes his head solemnly.

Cyrus glares towards him. “You can go now?”

Padamo grins and saunters away, his tail flicking behind him.

“Please tell me he’s lying,” Cyrus grunts as he shuts the door.

“What do you think?” I ask.

Cyrus sucks air through his teeth. “You’re still here, so I will guess no.”

I grin and take his bandaged hand. “No hook?”

“Not yet,” he chuckles. “Doc says a broken finger or two doesn’t warrant the saw right away.” He pulls me into his arms and kisses me.

I melt into his kiss and grip onto his chest. I step back and move to the bed. I pet the blankets beside me. “Come along.”

Cyrus chuckles. “What is this?” He climbs towards me. “Are you beckoning me into your trap already?”

I grin. “If we’re going to be on the run, I’d like us to be able to enjoy ourselves.”

Cyrus tugs off his shirt and tosses it aside. “You best praise I didn’t break my good hand.”

Due to the backlessness of my dress, I’m able to tug it forward and pull my arms out. Cyrus’s eyes widen, and he brushes his fingers between my breasts.

“You always did have the most beautiful skin,” he whispers.

I bite my lip, and my wings flutter.

Cyrus dips down, kissing my neck and chest. His lips drag down, and I feel his tongue flicker against my nipples. I gasp softly, leaning forward a bit, so one breast presses into his mouth. Cyrus moans softly, licking and sucking while his good hand squeezes the other breast.

Cyrus pulls his head back, licking at his chops. “You know, there are other things I can play with,” he pants. “Better things.”

My cheeks are burning already.

Cyrus smirks and lays down on his back. He coaxes me over, as I kick away the rest of my dress. He has he lay on him as he kisses me, his hands run up and down my back, sometimes groping my rear a little.

“Ok, sit up,” he whispers.

“Huh?” I shiver.

“Sit up a little,” he bites my cheek. “Trust me.”

I whimper softly, rising up he has me straddle his chest. He pulls me forward, making me nearly sit on his face.

“Cyrus I-oh!” I gasp, my eyes nearly bugging as his tongue flicks along my slit. I grunt and bite my lip, quickly grabbing hold of the headboard.

“Oh-”  I moan as my lashes flutter.

Cyrus groans below me, licking and nuzzling to my cunt. His tongue slips up and down, swirling around my clit and slipping inside me. I move my hips, rutting myself against his face as the feeling starts to grow. The heat that pools in my belly has never felt so tight and so good before. I squeeze my thighs around him, gasping and moaning. Then, he places his lips around my clit and starts to suck.

I let out a cry, and my wings unfurl, spreading out and nearly knocking open the window.

Cyrus chuckles. “That’s my girl,” he moves me down, making me sit on his belly. He props up a bit, moving me back. His cock rubs against my rear and the lids of his eyes lower.

“Cyrus,” I mewl.

He lifts me up, moving me and placing the tip of his cock at my folds. He looks into my eyes, and I give him a nod. He lowers me down, and I groan. Taking his cock inside me, I can feel every vein. He goes deep inside, making me feel stretched and full.

Cyrus grunts and swallows. “Oh wow.”

I chuckle softly. “They say men who have sex with Furies never live to see another day.”

Cyrus grunts and winks. “I’m ok with that.”

I dip down, kissing him as I grind him inside me.

“I love you,” I whisper. “I always have.”

Cyrus hisses, and his lashes flutter. “I love you too, Theai,” he whispers. “Ever since we were little. I’ve loved you.”

Cyrus then holds my hips and starts to move under me. He thrusts his hips upwards, pushing deep inside me than hitting the mattress. My wings shiver and expand again, fluffing out the more he moves. I can roll my hips, meeting his as he bounces.

   The pool of heat inside me is starting to overflow. It pours through my limbs to the tips of my fingers and the tips of my toes. I ride on Cyrus, feeling the heat coming from him. I gasp and shudder, throwing my head back as the heat starts to spill. The arches of my feet ache as my toes curl, my arms feel weak, and my wings open all the way, crashing through the window.

   Cyrus snarls and grunts, his hips moving wildly until he grunts. Stops. And shudders. He moans, his jaws opening wide and I feel him inside me. I bite my lip, taking every drop of his seed inside me. He’s mine now, and I am his.

   I wake up to a cold breeze, and I shiver. I reach out for Cyrus, but he isn’t there. Blinking in the morning light, I see Cyrus patching up the glass my wings had broken before.

   “Come back to bed,” I yawn.

   “Not until I get that breeze in check,” he huffs. “You’re shivering like a leaf.”

   I smile sweetly at him. “But if you come back to bed I won’t.”

   He lays one last piece of tape over the window then stands up. “I can do both.” He comes back to bed, throwing the blanket around us and pulling me close to his chest.

   “I got to see another day,” he chides. “You must not be a real Fury,” he kisses me lovingly.

   “Or maybe it’s just an ugly lie,” I say with a shrug. “Who knows?”

   Cyrus nuzzles to my hair and sighs loudly. “I’m so happy this dream is finally real,” he whispers. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to wake up with you annoying me.”

   I laugh. “Is that the truth?”

   “Nah, you really don’t annoy me,” he looks into my eyes. “Are you really ok fighting against your mothers?” He asks.

   I shake my head. “Not really,” I murmur. “But in my heart, I know what I have to do and what must be done. I can’t always bow my head to them.”

   Cyrus kisses the top of my head. “I promise,” he starts, “I will always protect you. You have the Allecto and Iris on your side as well. You are not alone.”

   I wrap my arms and wings around him. “Did you know Furies mate for life?” I ask.

   Cyrus smirks. “Oh? Did you trap me?” he asks.

   “Men you sleep with Furies don’t get to see the next day, but only because the Furies wings is now always behind them.”

   “Now you see,” Cyrus winks, “I can live with that.”

[darkestspring]

If I may ask….

Ever heard of “As the World Falls Down” by David Bowie?

Idk why, but I see that as Alexsander and Maegera’s song. The music video from the movie is very beautiful too 🥳

it definitely is a aleksander x maegara song!!!

[wafflecrew-outofcontext]

DM: previously on Dice, Camera, Action, Diath got his hands on an iron flask and released the fire primordial Maegera

Strix: I thought this episode was about making pies!

[underdarkbaking]

The Best Pie of the Forgotten Realms

Let me tell you, this is probably the hardest I’ve ever worked to come up with a recipe, and the results are… well, you’ll see. Buckle up Wafflefam, it’s a long one. I can’t promise you it will be interesting, but I CAN promise you you’ll learn a lot about edible lichen.

The journey began with collecting what we canonically know about Jarlaxle’s pie: Chris called it a “Luskan fractal helix apple pie”, and its ingredients are common enough that you can find them already in Strix’s shop or in a Waterdhavian market, the two exceptions being Kara-Tur pears and a specific type of white, aquatic lichen that acts as a substitute to cinnamon. We also know that before getting the two secret ingredients, Strix was already working on the pie for about an hour or more; she then needed a performance check to successfully assemble it, and the pie baked “through the night”. Oh, and also, the pie is ultimately poisoned. More on that later.

The first thing I did was figuring out a “real world” counterpart to the secret ingredients, so that I could design the recipe around them rather than trying to cram them in a traditional apple pie.

The choice was easy for the Kara-Tur pears: Kara-Tur first appeared in the Oriental Adventures book for AD&D in 1985, and it doesn’t seem to have changed much since. As far as I can tell, the only mention of Kara-Tur in 5E is a brief paragraph in the Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide, where it says that “Far to the east […] lie the empires of Shou Lung, Kozakura, Wa, and the other lands of the vast continent of Kara-Tur”. It’s probably a safe bet to assume these are the equivalent of our real-world China, Japan and Korea. So at least that’s easy to search: we need an Asian pear that is not that common in the West. You don’t have to look far to find the ideal candidate, the nashi pear; also called Asian pear, it’s grown almost exclusively in Japan, Nepal and China, and nowhere commercially in Europe or the US, which makes it a rather difficult fruit to find in the West. I also discovered when researching it that it was called “apple-pear” in several languages, so if that’s not a sign that it belongs in the best apple pie of the Realms, I don’t know what is. Now actually getting the nashi pears was kind of a pain, and after visiting several markets and shops and finding a big fat nothing, I gave up and ordered some online. Which, as you can imagine, makes it by far the most expensive ingredients that goes into the pie. I think I paid more for two pears than for all the other ingredients combined, but anyway, I’ll just be happy it fits into the theme of the rare and hard-to-get ingredient.

Let’s get to the white underwater lichen, shall we? Now THIS was a far more complicated treasure chase. At first I thought I could get away with using some kind of algae or seaweed, since there are so many edible ones, but nooo, that’s not what lichen is, you silly goose: it’s an organism made of types of fungi living in symbiosis with bacteria that use photosynthesis (most commonly algae). In other words, lichen is a moss-mushroom. A mossroom. This led me on a many-hours search of what types of lichen were edible, hoping against hope that I could just go and scrap some off of the trees and rocks in the forest nearby (spoiler alert: I couldn’t). I finally settled on three potential candidates for “best cinnamon substitute in pastry”: Umbilicaria, kalpasi, and Iceland moss.

Umbilicaria (pictured above) is also called “rock tripe” in North America. It was a good candidate because, while not strictly aquatic, it does grow better on seaside cliffs and it is harvested in rainy weather. Its colours vary from black to light gray, so, that’s not white, but grayish could be close enough. I ultimately didn’t go with this one for another reason: it’s a delicacy in Japan, where it’s called “iwatake”, and that’s pretty much the only place where I could order some from. And it might seem petty, but I didn’t want the two secret ingredients to come from the same region of the world. There’s no fun in that.

Kalpasi (above) also seemed like a good choice: it’s an Indian spice composed of ground up greyish-brown lichen, used in meat dishes. I liked it because, unlike other types of lichen, this one is supposed to actually taste good, with earthy, almost truffle-like tones. And we all know truffles always make a dish 50% fancier. For those interested, you can sometimes find it in the West in specialized shops, under the names kalpasi or dagad phool.

Coming down to the last one, Iceland moss! Despite its name, it is indeed a lichen and not a moss. I eventually settled on this one, for three reasons:

1)      It’s not always white, but it can be.

2)      It has been used as an unusual ingredient by the inventive chef René Redzepi in his two-Michelin-star restaurant Noma, in Copenhagen, considered one of the best restaurants in the world. The meals are… interesting, to say the least. Anyway, if it’s good enough to warrant two Michelin stars, we might as well use it.

3)      As its name indicates, it grows in Iceland, more specifically on lava slopes. It’s not underwater, but I like the exoticism it brings to the table, in contrast to the other ingredients. Moreover, I don’t know how much of 4E has been retconned over the years, but I like the idea of Jarlaxle stumbling upon a rare type of white lichen on an ancient lava slope in Gauntlgrym just before he accidentally released Maegera (yes, the same one) and caused the eruption that destroyed Neverwinter. It gives a bit of flavor to the lichen, pun intended.

 Here’s a picture of the bag I bought. It’s not the whitest, but it’ll do.

And there we are, the first step is done, we have our secret ingredients. For the more mundane ones, I went as “high-end medieval fantasy cooking” as I could:

-          Waterdeep flour is most likely made in a traditional mill, probably water- or donkey-powered, so the flour I’ll be using comes from an abbey where it is made traditionally by monks who only sell it there. I’m not even joking. It’s an hour and a half away from where I live but I always make sure to pick up a few bags when I’m in the vicinity. It’s the finest flour I have ever seen, and I’m not exaggerating when I say it flows like water. The stuff is mesmerizing. Do you think they make flour in the Spires?

-          The butter is also locally sourced from a dairy just outside my hometown, it’s partly made with the milk of cows I can see from my window. I don’t think the taste is that different from generic/industrial butter, but it’s as fresh as I can get, and I think that���s closer to what would be available in Waterdeep.

-          Nothing much I can do about the powdered sugar, so it’s just store-bought. I could not find any mentions of sugar in official D&D sources, so I’m assuming they get the expensive one from Kara-Tur and they make the regular one from sugar beets, or that they use honey as a sweetener. We’ll just assume Strix gets hers from her Heward’s handy spice pouch, because we only need a small quantity of it.

-          The eggs, on the other hand, come straight up from my grandma’s chickens. There are just 4 of them but their pen is bigger than her house and they eat like kings because the entire extended family feed them all their leftovers. I figure Strix probably raises her chickens the same way, or at least with the same amount of love. Their yolk is a bright yellow that you can’t get from anywhere else, and it makes for a good-looking pastry.

-          Similarly, the apples come from my grandfather’s apple tree. It’s an exceptional tree that produces so much that 2 other varieties have been grafted on its trunk over the years; it now produces three different kinds of apple. We’re obviously a few months after the season though, so I’m using apples from Fall 2018 that were in my freezer. Not the freshest of ingredients, especially compared to the rest, but it’s the most “organic” apples I can get. I don’t think Waterdeep’s orchards use GMOs.

 Now we need to find a way to make all of this into the best apple pie possible. On a sidenote here, I realize I’m not going to come up with the best apple pie ever out of the blue and simply by adding a strange fruit and an even stranger spice. My goal is for the pie to be the best it can be, while making it interesting enough so that a pie critic from the Forgotten Realms would be delighted enough to kiss a trash-tiefling.

First we need to figure out what Strix is doing to get the pie ready while her companions are fighting wererats and fishing treasure chests. I decided to use my tried-and-true crust recipe, which I have already posted here. It’s a bit long to make, as you need to make the dough, let it cool down for at least 30 minutes, and bake it blind for 10 to 15 minutes; that could be what Strix is doing during the hour+ when the others are away. It’s also way more buttery than most pastry recipes, and it’s a bit unusual in its use of powdered sugar, which I feel makes it closer to what the game’s recipe could be, because, well, it’s non-traditional. Given his choice of ingredients, Jarlaxle is obviously more on the disruptive side of baking.

Next, the filling. In my baking experience, I have found that apple pie is always better when the bottom is lined with applesauce: it keeps the crust from overcooking and keeps the apple slices moist for far longer, allowing you to cook the pie for the few minutes more that will turn crunchy apple bits into soft bites of caramelized goodness. The question now was, do I turn the nashi into purée and use that instead of applesauce, or should I use it as a fruit topping like an apple?

At first, I thought my supply of nashi pears would be very limited, so I would have to make them count. But once they showed up at my house, I realized my mistake: one pear weighs 800g (1.76 lb). These are heckin’ chonkers. Here they are, surrounding a normal-sized apple that wasn’t asking for any trouble:

They’re as big as a grapefruit and four times as heavy. And the taste? Oh sweet Lathander, the taste. This is one of the juiciest fruit I’ve ever eaten. It feels like you’re eating a pear, but it tastes like a very sweet apple, with none of the tartness. It’s like a fruit for kids.

So, given that I had so much more fruit than I expected, I could try some experiments; I turned one half of a nashi into purée, and I baked a tray of mini-pies to try a few different combinations of fruit and sauce.

And here’s what I discovered –the nashi loses its taste when it’s cooked. There is absolutely no point in making an apple pie with nashi as a main fruit, because it’s like biting into a bland pear, which is a shame, given how delicious it is in its raw form. However, its juiciness makes it a pretty great ingredient for the purée. As I said, it loses its taste, so it doesn’t overpower the apples, but the texture of the “nashisauce” is everything you want in that kind of pie: it’s smooth, it’s moist, it ties everything together very well. So, I’ll count that as a win!

Now for the lichen. Chris/Jarlaxle said it was to be used as a substitute to cinnamon, so I had a few options: mix it in with the nashisauce, lightly coat the apple slices in it before assembling the pie, or dust the pie just out of the oven with grated lichen. At that point, you’re probably wondering what Iceland moss tastes like, and so was I. So I ate a bit of it. And regretted it immediately.

It is extremely bitter, and tastes like cheap tea. How do you turn that into an ingredient worthy of the best pie in Waterdeep? The first thing I tried was to let it steep in hot water, as if I was actually making tea. I made two cups: one to use the resulting water as a binding agent for the crust (which would imply reducing the amount of egg yolk, but you never know, it could be for the best), and one to see if I could “wash away” some of the bitterness off the lichen.

Well, again, no to both of those, it was just too bitter. But I discovered in the process that if you let the lichen steep in hot water long enough, it falls to the bottom of the cup and you can mush it into a kind of lumpy paste. Working from this, and after many tries, I finally came up with what I think is a good solution: I boiled the lichen in a lot of water with a few spoons of honey until it turned into mush, pressed that into a mold, baked it for half an hour, rolled the resulting paste into a ball with powdered sugar to reduce its stickiness, let it air dry overnight and well into the next day (I sped up the process by leaving it on top of my oven, which is often on in our home), and baked it once more at a very low temperature for almost two hours. The result was a very hard ball of cooked-but-unburnt lichen, honey and sugar, which I could grind into a sand-like powder.

Its only use in that state is to be scattered on top of the pie just out of the oven, which melts the sugar and frees the aroma of the lichen. Now here’s where it gets interesting: it’s sweet and the bitterness is still there, but it’s a good bitterness, like adding dark chocolate to curry or a red wine sauce. It’s not overpowering, it doesn’t overwhelm the apple taste, you don’t get it on every bite so you don’t get bored of it, and overall, it just tastes great. And that’s exactly what we want.

All right, everything seems to be figured out ingredients-wise, time to bake the first test pie! I was wondering what exactly would be the look of a “fractal helix pie”, so I just went with a pie-ception kind of concept and used once again my trusty mini-pie tray to make smaller pies on the main pie.

Also, I used an apple peeler and corer and only cut one side of the resulting product to turn the fruits into apple rings rather than the usual apple slices. I was hoping that it’d look more helix-y if I covered the pie in intertwined rings. Pop that in the oven for 50 minutes, and here we go!

So here are the results; it’s a good pie, all in all. The nashisauce certainly makes a difference for the best, albeit a small one –if you know it’s there, you can barely taste it, but if you don’t know it just feels like “hey, the applesauce did its job remarkably well today”. The lichen is also a welcomed addition on the bites where it is present, but you have to tell your guests that it’s there, otherwise their “Oh yeah, that’s pretty good in a dark chocolate-y kind of way” will turned into a shocked “What in the Nine Hells is that black stuff that tastes like a cursed grapefruit”.

Regarding the looks of the pie, it didn’t quite turn out as I’d hoped. Sure, it’s different, and the mini-pies-on-a-pie where a hit with the guests, but the apple rings had shrunk and broke off each other in several places, making it just a weirdly laid-out apple pie.

All in all, the first full-scale test was a bit disappointing, but not discouraging –the basics were there, and it was better than my usual apple pie. It just needed a little something to push it over the edge.

At this point, I’m thinking that the ingredients are pretty much the best we can realistically get, and I can’t imagine any cooking technique within my abilities that would improve the overall taste. So let’s add more ingredients and see if it does the trick. What can we add that doesn’t betray the lore of DCA and the setting of the Forgotten Realms?

Let’s dive back into the process: Strix has to bake her pies in a traditional bread oven, given that she worked in a bakery when she was a child. Which means her pies cook realistically in less than an hour in a very hot oven that stays around 250°C-275°C (480°F-530°F) all day. We’ve also seen in some episodes that the pies can be made and cooked in 10 minutes to half an hour, so she probably has a bunch of pre-cooked pastry case and keeps her oven above 300°C (570°F) , which is possible although quite insane.

But Chris said that the pie was let to bake overnight. How does that happen? Probably by baking the crust blind in the hot oven, which you typically don’t do for an apple pie, then take it out, let the temperature drop and the fire turn to embers, and finally putting the now assembled pie inside and closing the door so that the fruit slowly cooks and caramelizes. And what happens when you leave something in a semi-closed wood-fired oven for an extended period of time? It gets smoked. Literally. This is something I hadn’t thought of before, but every pastry made by Strix should have a very light woody, smoky aftertaste.

I don’t have access to a traditional baker’s oven (I’ve been planning on building one myself for years but never made the jump because I seriously doubt I could pull it off), but nowadays it’s easy to come by something called liquid smoke, which is exactly what it sounds like. So let’s get back to the mini-pie tray and bake some with different amount of liquid smoke, mixed into the applesauce or baked into the pastry.

And survey says: ooh boy you really don’t need much. If we extrapolate from the taste of the small pies, only about 5 drops should be added to the applesauce, and nothing to the pastry. It should give the pie that subtle smoky taste that hints toward campfire food. Any more and it tastes like the pie has been baked on an unwashed stove where you previously charred pounds of cheap, expired bacon.

Okay, we’re almost there… and then, as I was scraping my brain to find a new ingredient that would stay true to the pie, it hit me. It was staring at me right in the face from the very beginning.

It’s a LUSKAN pie. It’s from basically a pirate city! It needs rum to be complete! Again, there’s two way to go about this: either mix a big tablespoon of rum with the nashisauce, or pour it on the pie at the last moment to flambé it. But let’s be honest, flambé is just for show, and it will be much more flavorful if it bakes with the pie, so, let’s do that.

Also, I went back to Chris’s tweet announcing what the episode would be about, and he used this gif: 

Soooo… Yeah, that’s probably why he called it a “fractal helix” pie. I don’t think I can replicate an ever-moving infinite pastry in real life, but I can certainly try.

Okay, let’s bake a new pie for real! This should be the one. I’m doing everything in one go, as close to DCA as I can:

1-      Preparing the crust and baking it blind, undercooking it a lot, just enough so that there is no risk of the crust losing its integrity under the humidity of the nashisauce, while the rest of the Coven goes on a hunt for lichen and pears. Total time: 1 hour.

2-      Beginning to cook the nashi into purée with half a vanilla pod (in a bit of last-minute inspiration) while peeling half of the apples; I am letting those oxidize for a bit, so that I’ll have two different colors of apple to work with. Time: 5min.

3-      Boiling the Iceland moss with honeyed water and pressing the resulting paste into a mold: 15min.

4-      Thoroughly blending the cooked nashi purée and setting it to cool down on the windowsill while the lichen bakes in the oven: 15 min.

5-      Taking the lichen out of the oven and rolling it into a ball with powdered sugar: 5 min.

6-      Mixing the nashisauce with liquid smoke and rum, peeling the rest of the apples, and finally assembling the pie in a pattern that suggests movement: 45 min. Yeah I went back and forth a lot with the placement and shapes of the apple slices. I’m thinking this is where the performance check comes into action, and I do not have proficiency in that skill.

7-      And now, it has to cook overnight, while the ball of sweet lichen dries out on top of the oven. So what I’m doing is actually baking it at low temperature (175°C/350°F) for over an hour, and then, without ever opening the oven door to keep as much humidity inside as I can, turning it down to the smallest setting for another hour (that would be 100°C/210°F on my oven). Once this is done, I’m still not opening the oven door, and I turn the oven off, letting it cool down with the pie still inside overnight. Also I started it at 7PM, and now it’s a bit before midnight because I took my sweet time, so I’m going to sleep.

The next morning, I’m checking the ball of lichen: it’s not as hard as the first time, mostly because I didn’t let it dry long enough, but I should be able to grate enough of its surface to lightly dust it on the pie. Speaking of the pie, I’m finally opening the oven door, and… it looks perfect.

Or at least, it looks how I wanted it to look: the patterns are there, although some slices have shifted a little, and the two colors of apple give it a style that I absolutely love. I’m definitely using this trick from now on for my normal apple pies. And it’s still a bit warm. I’m taking the pie out and putting the lichen in on a very low setting to dry it out a bit more.

Four hours later, I am serving the pie; I popped it in the hot oven for a brief moment to slightly warm it up, grated a bit of lichen on top of it, and dug in with everyone.

Is it the perfect pie? Probably not. Is it unusual? I mean, kinda, there’s a lot of subtle flavors in there that you don’t necessarily expect. Is it good? Yes, yes it is. The ingredients blend very well together. But more importantly, DID MY MOTHER SAY SHE LOVED IT AND ASK FOR THE RECIPE? DAMN RIGHT SHE DID. And that’s all I need to call it a success.

So here we are folks, this is the end of our Luskan fractal helix pie journey. I had a lot of fun coming up with that one, and I’m looking forward to the next culinary endeavors of the Chicken Foot Coven.

I guess that, as a conclusion, I need to address the biggest question we’re all asking ourselves: is this pie worth making?

If you just want to eat a good apple pie, no, not really. Just make your favourite apple pie, and maybe take some inspiration from this recipe to spice it up a bit. But if you want to try and bake it in the spirit of “let’s make a DCA-inspired pie”, please do. It’s tremendous fun. I loved tracking down and using those exotic ingredients, and the process of turning lichen into sweet sand makes you feel like an alchemist. Plus, it’s an easy recipe, there’s not much that can go wrong. It’s still just an apple pie.

All right, that’s it, we’re done. If you read everything, thank you so much for keeping up with my rambling. Don’t hesitate to ask if you have some questions related to all of that. Otherwise, I’ll see you all next time there is something to bake!

PS: “But what if I want to taste what the critic ACTUALLY ate, poison and all?”

So I did some research, and it seems that most poisons have a bitter taste, which is already present in our pie thanks to the lichen. So, potentially, the pie wouldn’t taste much different. I’d also wager that the Drow poison is tasteless. However, some “classical” poisons are known to have a distinct taste: cyanide supposedly tastes like bitter almonds, and poison hemlock allegedly tastes like mild parsnip. Yes, parsnip, you read that right. I don’t think parsnip will be a good addition to our pie’s flavor profile, but I’m positive that almonds will make it even better. If you’re not allergic.