#Ma and Pop Posting
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for nezu!!
🌟 - how is regression like for your f/o? (eg. agere/agedre or petre/petdre? which age range/pet?) 🐾 - do they regress voluntarily? how can you tell that they're regressed? 🧳 - how do they deal with regression when you're far away? 🎈 - free space! share a regression hc of your f/o
@i-put-the-s4p-in-s4pphic
Ooooh tricky tricky... Thankyou for asking let me thiiink...
🌟 - What is regression like for your f/o?
Involuntary and very messy at first. It starts happening a bit after he retires as Principal of UA (so post-story). He assumes he's loosing his mind, finally snapped, something bad happened in his brain and it's too late to save him from it. It takes a lot to talk him down and get him to open up about what is happening and what it means.
He doesn't like to think or talk about it.
🐾 - Do they regress voluntarily? How can you tell that they're regressed?
Absolutely not, and his triggers aren't very clear to anyone but himself and he refuses to tell anyone about what they are.
His biggest regressed giveaway is that he'll seek out physical affection and touch, something that can send him spiraling into a panic attack in his usual headspace.
He also tends to be pretty quiet while regressed and stumble a bit more. We've caught him walking on all fours a few times while regressed as well.
🧳 - How do they deal with regression when you're far away?
Most of the UA staff steps in to help when Nezu drops, though both myself and Eri seem to be his favorites for affection and comfort, he doesn't put up a fuss when he can't find us and has to settle with someone else.
From what I've been told while away he will ask about a "Doctor" when he can't find Eri or me. We don't know who this Doctor is but Toshinori thinks it might be the same "Doctor" who experimented on Nezu before he was purchased by the Hero Commission. I guess Eri and I resemble him in some way? At least, enough that he connects us to him when he regresses.
I've been on and off looking into this "Doctor" with the help of Hawks in the old Hero Commission Files. So far we haven't found anything other than a laboratory name and some old documents on Nezu's stay at the Commission.
🎈 - Free space! Share a regression hc of your f/o
I've headcanoned for a very long time that Nezu use to be very jealous of Regressors. The ability to return to a childlike headspace, to be naive and innocent again.
I think on some deep level he wants to just be an animal, with only thoughts of his next meal and looking out for predators. All these human thoughts, this high level brain, it's not what his body was built to handle, he'd love to just be able to turn it off.
But at the same time the moment he starts involuntarily regressing and becomes something akin to a Toddler again he wants nothing more than for it to stop.
He's not ready to be vulnerable again, to be young and dumb again, to be pet and held and loved without all the toxic history bubbling up again and again.
He doesn't want anyone involved in his history or his private life, and this suddenly being a very affectionate toddler again is making that very difficult.
#Thankyou for asking#Proship Agere#Nezu#Ma and Pop Posting#My Dad who is Not Well <3#Impure Regression#Is THAT what regressing with negative emotions is called? That's a weird name for it but Okay#I love Nezu so much I love fucking up his backstory so much everything about him is weird#He's trying so hard to keep all his personal problems to himself but they just keep bubbling up and exposing themselves#I think Me and Toshinori are his main CGs#And then Eri likes taking care of him but she's pretty busy with school and band and what not#Aizawa and Izuku try to talk to him about Regression when he's out of the head space but Nezu won't hear any of it#We're all doing our best to support this emotionally stunted rat
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always in need of a peepaw hug
Can I get a hug from my Grandpa Captain Craig Cuttlefish from Splatoon? Really in need of a pawpaw hug </3
“Ya want a hug? Alright, come here then,” *hug* “Gramps is always here for ya, no matter what. I’ll give ya as many hugs as you’d like. I care about you a lot, you know that?” - Captain Craig Cuttlefish
#Emile's Arts#Ma and Pop Posting#The very rare Emile Anon Ask because I dunno I felt shy about asking for a hug from my Grandfather#I'm over it now#Thankyou very much for the papaw hug#6am Peepaw hug <3#Octoling Emile reveal! Crybaby loser attached to his Granpa <3
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I have sat at my desk drawing and farting around for like I think eight hours? And I have not in fact finished any art. I was updating my commission info carrd and making scheduled posts for the rest of the month
This what I have after two hours and then some
I have gotten up like
less than five times
I'm feeling as right as rain (which is funny because it's raining and thundering rn) I'm doing great :)
#lumin ruminates#im actually fine don't worry#i slept yesterday from 5 am to 1 pm#my sleep schedule on the other hand#is a bit fucked up#my pops and ma are also awake and telling me to go to bed#hypocrites#technically texted but same thing#i also show pops and ma the most funny reblogs there are on my posts sometimes#:)#they see you guys too
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Do you guys think Queen Lizard was also raised to be the ruler of the Lizard League like how her son was? Assuming the league is essentially an old family business.
I personally hc that she was the one to start the league, but it’s a fun idea to think that the league was a generational thing lmao
#my post#invincible#Queen lizard#lizard league#(forget inheriting your parents ma and pop flower shop)#(inherit your family’s terrorism group!)
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nuevo album
El Club Audiovisual (self titled)
track Qué Más Puedo Hacer?
#new music friday#el club audiovisual#hoy voy a hacer lo que me gusta#que mas puedo hacer?#post rock#shoegaze#nuevo rock argentino#rock argentino#music#argentina#musica en español#noise pop#indie rock#indie pop#noise rock#alternative rock#tidal#tidal link
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Sorry Ma, Forgot to Take Out the Trash (1981), Hootenanny (1983), The Replacements
Before the Replacements mellowed out a bit (but only a bit), they were simply a very solid, slightly-more-melodic-than-most punk band. These first two albums are jam-packed with exciting, fresh and bright punk tunes – it’s no wonder these guys would become the masters of all that’s catchy.
Pick(s): ‘Johnny’s Gonna Die’, ‘Color Me Impressed’
#the replacements#Sorry Ma Forgot to Take Out the Trash#Hootenanny#rock#punk#post-punk#garage punk#power pop#alternative rock#1981#1983#music#review#music review
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how did you get ✨ so good ✨ ??
i drank the “nerd who will ONLY enjoy reading and writing and ignore everything else” juice when i was waiting in the soul line to be infused with a little fetus body
ok that’s a lie i sometimes watch tv
#this is a joke but also note a joke kadjsj#i feel the most calm and centered when i’m alone with something to read#and i’ll have Ideas and need to write them out or i’ll pop#when i couldnt write for two years that was genuinely distressing!#i love reading and writing so much i got my BA and MA in these things#you should see one of my final exam instructions i kept from college#if i can find it again i’ll post a pic#i was reading and i was like ‘….lit track in college was intense’#at the time it was so easyyyy#oh to have that brain and drive and motivation again#laventadorn replies
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Hi to everyone who has come from the bug eyelash post, come get your food
you sickos want more bugs with eyelashes. so obscene. so thirsty
well who am i to deny yall the pleasure
take your gay eyelash bugs
#rebonk#bug art#these are my ocs btw#the stickbug underneath is Atlas and hes ftm#the mantis on top is Lilith#theyre best friends#insectaTerra#my post is popping off ma. are you proud of me drawing cunty bugs
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⚖️&🎉 for Bumi? (I saw your post tags and was like 🤔) - @wheresunandseameet
Yay my weirdo of a father <3 He's new.
⚖️ - Blood related, adopted, or found family? (If one of the latter two, how did you meet?)
Adopted, against his majesty's will. King Bumi was reaching the average lifespan age and hadn't appointed his heir, one of familial link or otherwise. So I, an Orphan off the streets of Ba Sing Se, was chosen from a few other Earth Bending Orphans and shipped off as a birthday gift to the king of Omashu.
He was a lot more accepting of some random kid suddenly becoming his son than I first expected, then I spent 20 years around him and quickly realized it was a very in character reaction for him.
🎉 - Favorite holiday to celebrate together?
I don't enjoy Holidays as King Bumi will often use them as an excuse to avoid very important work.
He can't sign this very urgent decrees he has to help the city decorate for the Winter Solstice. He'll have to miss that Very Important meeting with the Ba Sing Se generals because it's the 3rd day of the Lunar New Year. Couldn't possibly pass judgment on a captured criminal today it's Badge Mole Day.
Sometimes I think he makes up holidays as an excuse to avoid his duties just because he likes making my life harder.
#Thankyou for Asking#Ma and Pop Posting#This is the kinda Father/Son relationship where I mostly call my father by his official title and name#His official advisor and also his son but mostly someone deeply annoyed by him#Top tier parental King Bumi of Omashu#I don't know how the government of Omashu works I am making it up#Bumi AroAce said he'd choose a great earthbender to be his heir blood didn't matter to him#And then he reached 80 years of age without even hinting at choosing an heir#So Long Fang took it into his own hands to deal with it#I'm not a Strong Earthbender btw I'm actually incredibly weak#Just also incredibly precises.#Anyway thanks again for asking!#Love my crazy ass father King Bumi <3#There is something actively wrong with him
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(eng) special post scheduled for this wednesday!
(pt/br) postagem especial aparecerá esta quarta-feira!
#shush appippam...#new post on the way!!! 😆😆#fyi this post isn't exactly related to kpop 👀👀#isso não é k-pop mas posso dizer que é algo que eu gosto huehuehue#^^^ it's an interest of mine :)))#my thoughts
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New Video: Psymon Spine Returns with Punchy and Groovy "Bored of Guitar"
New Video: Psymon Spine Returns with Punchy and Groovy "Bored of Guitar" @psymonspine @northernspyrecs @grandstandhq
Psymon Spine‘s third album Head Body Connector is slated for a February 23, 2024 release through Northern Spy Records. The album is reportedly a gritty, punchy, guitar-forward studio album from a band that’s long been obsessed with production. Perhaps more than their previous releases, Head Body Connector is explicitly informed and inspired by the band’s cathartic live show. “It’s more unhinged…
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#Baby&039;s All Right#Bored of Guitar#Boston MA#Max Mainwood#Montauk NY#music video#New Video#Northern Spy Records#post punk#psych pop#Psymoin Spine Wizard Acid#Psymon Spine#Psymon Spine Head Body Connector#Pysmon Spine Bored of Guitar#Video Review#VIdeo Review: Bored of Guitar#VIdeo Review: Psymon Spinę Bored of Guitar
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Acho meio chato quando versões brasileiras de filme (geralmente animações) tem o trabalho de localizar textos e créditos em português na versão de cinema, mas a de streaming continua com texto inglês do original. Pra que foi aquele trabalho todo de edição se só é assim por tempo limitado?
#personal#pessoal#animação#filmes#Não sei se blu-ray mantem mas seria legal se fosse o caso#hey there followers this is your reminder i'm a brazuca and sometimes portuguese posts might pop up#Thank you
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J'ose espérer que vous aimerez cette histoire : "SURVIVAL E.N.D : Le chaos d'un nouveau monde" ! Si jamais vous n'êtes pas trop Wattpad, l'histoire est dispo sur AO3 ! https://www.wattpad.com/story/88967407?utm_source=android&utm_medium=com.tumblr&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=William-Carthe&wp_originator=NJHS96dKLn%2F8KeL9hMkT7f1y8xchVMCWSWbZmnvRMAi%2BZtGdKLrGAl705TYuBkF42%2FYNsx8q1sIzyI%2BTvlW8c68kWExLHy4b93G0ROWRfBILYWYEXH7Aydrxryntpi7w
#adhd#autism#post apocalypse#dystopic#j'essaie de faire connaître ma fiction#fiction#SURVIVAL E.N.D#histoire post-apo et dystopique#tumblr français#écriture#écrivain#coucou#pop culture#zombie#dancing zombie
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J'y pense... Une production FR de Great Comet... Amel Bent en Sonya... GIMS en Pierre (il a TOTALEMENT la voix pour je veux RIEN entendre)...
#natasha pierre and the great comet of 1812#ce post est une BLAGUE#je ne veux PAS de star de la pop dans ma production de La Grande Comète de Mil Huit Cent Douze#mais genre... Gims qui chante en russe quoi skkdjskdjdjsk#et amel pourrait 100% chanter Sonya Alone (Sonya Toute Seule pour la VF)#breeeef si jamais vous avez des suggestions d'artistes FR pas hyper mainstream allez-y#(et qui soient plus dans la comédie musicale que la pop)
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On one hand I am actively trying to get better, on the other hand I am relapsing so heavily rn
#like ed???#We are POPPING OFF girly#Sui thoughts??? Oh boy#Oh boy oh boy oh BOY#They are certainly there#keep thinking of looking where my ma keeps my meds#Or waiting till she accidentally leaves them out again#So I can start collecting bits and pieces to off myself#tw suicide#tw eating issues#tw ed#tw vent#vent post#vent#personal vent
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prettiest thing ୨ৎ
prettiest thing pt2 ୨ৎ
you and onyankopon rarely argue. you’re his good girl, you never had a remark or debated with anything he said. he would never tell you anything to hurt you or put you in harm's way which is why you allowed him to be the provider and the thinker of the relationship while you just had to be pretty and spend his money. it’s a dynamic that the both of you liked and preferred. another reason why the dynamic works so well is because onyankopon is naturally dominant, he tends to take over situations without even trying. that goes for both his personal and business life.
you hated when those moments of tranquility between the two of you got interrupted from emotions and overthinking. both you and onyankopon are very secure people, there’s no qualms about attractiveness and if your personalities matched up. but, at the end of day you’re human. and with onyankopon being your first ever serious boyfriend, you sometimes doubted yourself and even worse; him and the relationship. you couldn’t help it! you really couldn’t, you tried to remind yourself that onyankopon has never given you a reason to doubt him but your overthinking didn’t care.
your bottom lip pokes out as your glossy eyes reread the map. onyankopon’s location is nowhere to be found and your man always shares his location with you. most of the time, the roles were reversed and he was very stern about you sharing your location with him 24/7. you couldn’t understand why he’d suddenly stop sharing it with you. your heart thumps heavily in your chest as you instantly start thinking about the worst.
“when’s the last time y’all talked?” zinnia asks. she sits beside you, a look of irritation etched onto her face.
you sniffle as you think back to the last time you talked to onyankopon. he had been driving you home after a long day of running errands. they were more so his errands than yours but you just wanted to be around him so you begged him to let you come with. the day has started off great. the two of you laughed, rapped and sung songs together, the vibes were just right. it was nearing night when onyankopon had gone inside the wingstop to order the two of you food as a completion of the day. while he was inside the restaurant, you were on his phone; scrolling on his facebook. you always claimed his facebook is way more interesting than yours which is why you lurked on people’s accounts through his. as you were reading facebook drama in a very messy comment section, onyankopon’s phone suddenly gets a notification from instagram.
‘you’re welcome handsome’. almost instantly, your hands begin to shake as you press the notification tab. you watch, breathless, as messages pop up from onyankopon and the mystery woman. onyankopon had posted a video of himself on his story. of course he looked good, your man always does. he’s an attractive guy so you had prepared yourself from the beginning to witness women texting and complimenting him. which is fine, but you would've never thought he’d disrespect you by responding back. with a shaky finger, you scrolled to the beginning of the message thread which wasn’t very far.
‘you so fine omggg’ which is something you’ve seen many girls telling him. your eyes focus on what the man had said back,
‘lol preciate it ma 💗’ you didn’t know if you wanted to scream or cry. ma? a heart? you couldn’t understand why he decided to respond to her in the first place. taking an uneven breath, you locked his phone and threw it down into the cupholder. tears form in your eyes as you stare out of the window, watching as cars of various sizes and colors zoom past the parked car. so many thoughts were racing through your head, you’ve never felt so much betrayal in your life. you sniffle as a few spare tears roll down your face.
when onyankopon returns with two wingstop bags and a holder that had two large cups sitting in it, he’s all smiles. his gold grills glint under the streetlight. he opens the door and sees right away that your attitude has completely changed. he can’t stop the confused expression from forming on his face. he sets the cups into the cupholders and the wingstop bag onto your lap. he doesn’t pull off right away. instead, he sits there for a few moments trying to wreck his brain on what could have possibly gone wrong in the span of about ten minutes.
“what’s wrong, mama?” he asks, cautiously.
you don’t respond, vocally. instead of using your words you just twist your body towards the door and tilt your head completely towards the window. you were so upset with him, just hearing his voice caused you to grow ten times more upset. your sniffles fill the quiet car while onyankopon waits for you to reply to him.
he raises an eyebrow as he comes to the realization that you’re not going to respond to him. “you don’t hear me talkin’ to you?” you were being disrespectful right now and this isn’t like you. he attempts to give you leeway because you have never behaved in such a way before. “talk to me, baby..” he pleads.
and god, when his voice deepens like that and he sounds so needy一you have to remind yourself to stay mad at him. you let out a loud sigh when you decide to look at him.
onyankopon’s heart almost skips a beat when the two of you finally make eye contact and he sees that your eyes are bloodshot red and there are stray tears still threatening to spill. he asks in a tone that shakes, “why you cryin’, mama?”
“c-cause you’re fucking disrespectful.” you cry out. the dam that was straining to hold up broke just by you looking at him.
onyankopon looks at you with wide eyes. he’s never once disrespected you. he’s never called you out of your name, mocked you, spoke condescendingly to you. you two have barely been together for an entire year and he had already gifted you everything and more. he tries to not be offended by your accusation.
“how am i disrespectful?” he asks, genuinely confused.
“how are you not? why the fuck ar-” you’re cut off from onyankopon kissing his teeth.
“stop cursin’, deadass. you can explain yourself without cursin’ like a damn sailor.” his tone doesn't make room for discussion.
you roll your eyes at his statement. onyankopon has always been firm when it comes to your habit of cursing, he always says ‘pretty girls don’t curse’ and tries to catch you every time you let a curse word slip out. right now, you didn’t have the time or patience for his lecturing.
but still, you rephrased yourself. “why are you replying to girls on instagram?” you ask in the most composed manner you can manage.
onyankopon gives you a confused mean mug, “what girls?”
you breath roughly through your nose. “you know what girls, onyankopon.”
onyankopon sighs, “i genuinely don’t, mama.”
you felt like crying from annoyance, why did he feel like now was the time to play? “look on instagram.”
ony grabs his phone and opens instagram. he sees that you had already opened his most recent chat. he reread the messages and viewed the account and quickly realized why you were upset. he stays quiet because he genuinely had no explanation on why he decided to respond to her. of course, he didn’t see her as attractive or anything. he had eyes for you and only you, no other woman could get in between that.
sighing, he set his phone down. he bit down on his lip as he tried to gather the words to tell you. he didn’t compliment her back or completely indulge in her, all he said was that he appreciated the compliment. he didn’t see what was wrong with that.
“look, i know-” he cut himself off as he continued to struggle.
“look at you, fucking struggling to talk cause you know you fucked up.” you spat the words out angrily. your pretty glossy lips are frowned up and onyankopon didn’t like that one bit.
“stop cursin.” he muttered.
“i’m fucking grown, nigga. just like you chose to respond to that bitch, i choose to curse whenever the fuck i want.” you were talking recklessly because you were mad. on an average day, those ugly words would never be spewing from your pretty mouth. also, you would never be talking to your man like this.
“bro chill with yo fuckin’ mouth!” onyankopon ‘s tone rises by a lot. there’s a pointed look in his eyes as he tries to put you in your place.
“me chill? you chill, nigga! fucking disrespectful ass! texting bitches back and calling them ma and shit.. fuck you, nigga!” your voice cracks at the end of your sentence. you weren’t crying out of sadness, you were crying out of anger. truthfully, you wanted to swing off on him but you’ve never thrown a punch in your life and onyankopon would probably choke you the fuck out.
“’m not puttin’ up wit’ dis shit.” onyankopon grumbles. he presses the start button and his car roars to life. “ain’t never called you out yo’ name. ain’t never did shit to hurt you, man. i try to give you the damn world.” your eyes widen when you hear onyankopon’s voice crack throughout his rant, you throw a quick glance at him and have to fight the surprised look on your face when you see his pretty brown eyes glossed over.
you can’t stop the words from coming out of your mouth. “texting other girls and calling them ma is giving me the world?” you chuckle sarcastically. “there’s no telling how many girls you entertain behind my back.”
onyankopon shakes his head while listening to you accuse him. “you can go through my entire fuckin’ phone right now and you ain’t gon’ find shit besides that. i ain’t talk to no other girls since i’ve been knowin’ you.”
“i can’t trust anything you say anymore.” you mutter.
“really? i’ve told you shit about me that i ain’t told no one else. shit about my childhood, about my life, how i became me ‘nd now you can’t trust me..” he lets out a breath that resembles a chuckle while shaking his head. “you’re my world, you’re my fresh breath of air from the streets, ‘nd now the reason why i’m going so hard. pickin’ up new clients, ‘nd putting my life at risk so i can buy you shit ‘nd now you’re sayin’ you can’t trust me anymore. alright, bro.”
you don’t say anything, you only turn your head and look out of the passenger seat window for the remainder of the drive.
onyankopon puts the car in park once he arrives in your driveway. you’re quick to hop out grabbing only your purse. you skim the driveway and realize that your parents aren’t home which you’re grateful for. you don’t have time to be bombarded with questions. while you’re unlocking the front door, you could hear onyankopon’s feet traveling behind you. you almost felt bad for leaving him to carry the bags and cups alone but in the moment of anger, you couldn’t care less if he needed help or not.
you open the door wide enough so that the two of you could step in. you kick your shoes off by the front door while he walks into the dining room and sets the food onto the table. the silence between the two of you is tense, you’ve never been so quiet around him and vice versa.
“‘mma go.” onyankopon suddenly says while looking down at his phone. he’s tapping furiously and his eyebrows are clenched in a way that shows annoyance.
“what? what about our food?” you ask with a frown. you go to stand in front of him. his towering height causes butterflies in your stomach whenever you stand near him.
“eat it or somethin’. i don’t care what you do with it.” he shrugs, finally looking away from his phone. you almost want to cry again. you’ve never heard onyankopon be so disinterested with you. he’s usually always so soft and understanding when he’s around you, so to hear him talk to you like you’re some stranger off the street; more than you'd want to admit, hurts your feelings.
“okay..” you sigh, obviously defeated.
usually, when he’s leaving out he’d litter your face and lips with kisses while telling you he’d be back. but this time he only gives you a brief side hug. “i’ll see you around, _.” your heart absolutely hurts when he uses your government name. when you hear the front door slam shut and the loud cranking from his car, you instantly burst into tears.
“three days ago.” you tell zinnia as your sudden flashback leaves your head. just thinking about what happens causes your eyes to go glossy. you’ve been crying ever since he left you standing in your dining room.
“after that incident?” zinnia asks, nosily.
“i messaged him an hour later.” you tell her. “i-i told him i loved him.. and he.. he just left me on read.” your shoulders shake as you clutch your face, you were so tired of crying but you didn’t know what else to do.
“awe, boo..” zinnia says sympathetically. she quickly clutches you into a hug. the smell of her perfume fills your nostrils as you cry onto her.
“i.. should’ve never said anything.. i should’ve j-just pretended i didn’t see it.” you say through sniffles. regret has been lingering on your heart a lot lately. you’ve been filled with should've, could’ve, and would’ves. your life has consisted of moping around the house and crying in bed.
onyankopon wasn’t exactly giving you the reassurance you desperately needed at the moment and it was causing you to absolutely spiral. you just wished he would at least text you a simple ‘i’m not mad at you’ or something of that sort. you’re aware of the type of lifestyle he lives on a day to day basis, you’re always making sure to pray for him asking for him to be protected as he gets his money in the only way he knows how. and for his location to suddenly go off has you on the absolute edge.
“nah, snookie.” the childhood nickname has you momentarily cringing. “you did the right thing by speakin’ up, boo. you seen bullshit so you spoke on it. what he did was that.. uhm.. what they call it…” she pauses and seems to be deep in thought. “ohh! that manipulation shit.”
you instantly sit up from her arms. “nah, zinnia ‘m not getting manipulated.” your soft voice has a defensive edge to it. “he just felt some type of way ‘cause he does so much for me and i called him out of his name and stuff.” you defend onyankopon way too quickly for someone that ghosted you.
zinnia gives you a look that you can’t exactly read. “whatever you say, boo.” she says. it’s obvious she doesn’t believe you from the way she shakes her while saying it.
“can you just..” you sigh out, the way you were feeling over onyankopon was a feeling you have never felt in your life before. it felt as if your heart was tearing into two pieces and no matter how much you tried to take your mind off of him and the situation, it still replays in your head. “can we cuddle?”
“awe, snooks, of course, boo.” she makes quick work of ashing her blunt and shuffling the two of you so that she could hold you comfortably.
the two of you lay there, silently. your head is adjusted onto her chest, the sound of her heart thumping fills your ears as you lose yourself to your thoughts. so many what ifs are running through your head. your overthinking is almost suffocating you in a way. as you lay there, thinking of the worst you try to rationalize and also think of the good. that was a habit you tended to do. you always tried to see the good in people and every situation. because of your optimism, you were often taken advantage of.
you didn’t purposely upset onyankopon. you felt hurt and as a result you felt the need to hurt. if you had known that bringing up the message, you would have never brought it up. you would rather suffer and not speak on it than to fully stop speaking to onyankopon. it was different, going from spending all your time with someone to not talking for three days straight. this being your first ever serious relationship, you didn’t know what to do. you weren’t sure if you were supposed to blow up his phone or give him time to cool off. all you want is to speak with him and hear his voice, to get reassurance that he’s well and alive, to hear him admit that he isn't angry with you.
you don’t realize it but you somehow doze off in zinnia’s embrace. your soft snores fill her ears and she coos out a soft “awee” while rubbing your back. with her being the older cousin and you not having any siblings, she felt as if it is her duty to help you get through your first heartbreak. she’s been through your shoes many times before; overthinking, crying, getting upset, getting manipulated, she’s gone through it all. as much as she wants to just shake your shoulders and scream for you to gain some sense, she won’t. she has to allow you to maneuver through life with firsthand experience, that includes getting your heartbroken.
she’s known onyankopon for many years, since middle school to be exact. she witnessed the man mature and adopt his doggish ways. to her, you’re too naive for ony. since you’re an only child your parents tended to shield you away from just about everything during your childhood and teen years. their overbearingness has rubbed off on you giving you this innocent curious nature. of course, you get upset and curse but every threat you give off is empty. she knows onyankopon, and she knows that he likes girls like you. girls who are easy to manipulate and have access to. she regrets deeply advising you to come to the party with her. if she would’ve let you stay home, you would’ve never met him.
you’re suddenly awakened by a phone buzzing. you yawn and stretch, your eyes dart to your window and you could see the light from the moon peeking through your opened blinds. you rub your eyes and stretch once more before looking at zinnia’s phone that’s ringing on your nightstand. you reach over her and grab it, once you see that it’s sasha you press the answer button.
“hello?” your voice is scratchy from the hours you went without water.
“snookie?” she asks. by her tone you could tell she’s upset and that causes you to fully wake up. an angry sasha is a scary sasha.
“hi, sash. it’s me.”
“hey, boo. where’s zinnia?” she seems impatient, her words are rushed out.
“beside me, sleeping.” your eyes do a once over on zinnia who’s drooling onto your pillow. her chest heaves while heavy breaths escape through her nose.
“yeah, no. wake her up for me.”
“sash, you kno-” you’re cut off by sasha’s loud sighing into the phone.
“snookie, boo, just listen to me. wake zinnia up and put her on the phone.” she says.
without another word, your hand lands onto her side and you begin shaking zinnia awake. after a minute of repeating her name and shaking her, she finally wakes up. a mean mug is immediately on her face as she rises up from her sleeping position. she stretches, letting out a loud dramatic moan.
“whatchu shaking me for?” her tone is hostile. zinnia absolutely hates being woken up which is why you were hesitant from the beginning.
“sasha wants you.” you hand her her phone, watching as she rolls her eyes before speaking up.
“girl, what you want?” her full lips are pulled into a frown as she listens to whatever sasha says. “wait, who’s story?” she asks while opening instagram. she types on her keyboard for a few seconds and then stops. she goes quiet as she watches whatever sasha told her to watch. you could hear multiple voices and the sound of loud music coming from her phone, you curiously lean over to see and that’s when zinnia quickly tilts her phone. she ignores the confused look you throw to her.
“bro.. ’m gonna fuckin’ kill dis nigga.” zinnia says after a few moments of silence. she puts the phone back up to her ear, her hazel eyes dart to you a few times and then they look away. “brooo, we’re about to throw something cute on. come scoop.” at those words, you’re entirely intrigued. you mouth at her ‘what’ and she only shakes her head and ignores you. “yeah, i thought i saw connie’s baldheaded ass in the background. ‘mma get his ass too.”
once zinnia says her goodbyes, she hangs up and lets out a heavy breath. “snookie, y’know i love you right?” she asks, suddenly.
“yeah. i love you too.” you giggle nervously.
“‘nd i just want you to know you don’t need a nigga for shit as long as i’m livin’ and breathin’.” she continues.
“i hear you.” you reply.
“what ‘m about to show you, you gotta practice me you’re not gonna cry.” she negotiates.
“you know ‘m a crybaby!” you groan with a smile. “i promise you i’ll try to not cry.”
she deems that good enough because she’s hesitantly showing you her phone.some might think you’re being dramatic if they were to hear you say you physically felt your heart break. and you could understand, heartbreak is a literary term and not literal one. however, you were experiencing a heartache at that exact moment. gasping was all you could do as your breathing became trapped in your chest. because you couldn't, you didn't cry. in total shock, you were motionless. you could feel zinnia’s arms wrap around you but it’s almost like a barrier was completely stopping her from touching you, or that’s what it felt like anyway.
your eyes rewatch the screen for what felt like the 100th time. your ony is right there, but so is a woman. she’s bent over in front of him, her ass is pressed against his pelvis. she’s shaking her ass to the beat of the song that’s playing and onyankopon’s hands are clutching her wide hips while she twerks. they both have a big smile on their faces while people in the background hype them. you watch in horror as onyankopon brings a hand up only to quickly bring it down onto her ass. as the video comes to an end, the camera darts to connie who’s obviously drunk, hyping them up the most. he’s pouring a half full bottle of hennessy into onyankopon’s mouth while screaming absolute nonsense out.
“we’re going to get dressed and we’re going to that party. we’re gonna whoop onyankopon, that bitch, and connie’s ass.” zinnia says. her tone is serious and the glare in her eyes tell you that she means every word she’s saying.
“there’s no point, zinnia.” you shrug as tears race down your face. “he’s single, he can do whatever he wants.”
zinnia gives you a look of confusion and irritation. “girl, to hell with that. y’all get into one big augment and now he’s moving like this. we’re not letting this shit slide, bro.” her tone excludes any kind of debate.
it doesn’t feel like you’re there physically when zinnia urges you into the bathroom to clean yourself up a little. you’re zoned out the entire time while brushing your teeth and applying light makeup. your eyes stay glossed over but tears don’t fall. your legs shake like jelly, you feel weak; emotionally and physically. you didn’t know where to go from here. all you wanted at the moment was for ony to come over and hold you while kissing your head and promising you everything would be alright like he usually does. the person that hurt you is the person you’re craving the most.
zinnia is sympathetic the entire time the two of you get dressed. you didn’t want to go confront ony, honestly. you just wanted to lay in bed and rot away. the thought of being in an outside setting at this current moment seemed draining. what would you even say to him? there isn’t even anything to say to him.
everything moves too fast and sasha pulls up in front of your house sooner than you wanted her to. an uneasy feeling settles in the pit of your stomach as you look over your outfit. a pink spaghetti strap sleeveless dress hugs your figure, loudly emphasizing every curve you have. you couldn’t even feel pretty if you wanted to, your mind goes back to the woman that was twerking on ony and your heart quivers. the way he grabbed her hips, the same way he did that one night where he had you chanting his name like a prayer. you let out a breath and quickly look away from the mirror.
zinnia leads you through the living room where your mother is sitting in the living room watching judge judy in a nightgown she's had since you were born. meanwhile, your father sits exactly beside her, playing pool on his phone. “ohh, where y’all going?” your mother asks.
you can’t find it in you to talk and zinnia seems to quickly catch on to that. “we’re gonna go pop at this party right quick.” she tells her.
your mother’s eyes dart from your head to your toes. her eyes go back to your face and she can instantly tell something isn’t right with her daughter. she decides she’ll wait until it’s just the two of you to comment on it. “y’all be safe ‘nd stay together. if one has to go to the bathroom, the other follows in tow.” your mother lectures.
you both agree to her words and walk out of the house. you could feel her eyes burning a hole into your back but you refuse to turn around. if you were to break down crying, she would immediately forbid you from going out tonight. that’s one of the difficult parts of being an only child. your parents sometimes get too overbearing without even meaning to. privacy is something you just started getting once you turned 18. you still remember the way your mother almost fainted when the two of you were having girl talk and you had admitted that you and ony had sex for the first time. you still haven’t forgiven her for running back to your father and telling her, he had given you the cold shoulder for two weeks. as much as your parents could be a handful, their intentions were never bad. you’re their only child so they tend to shield you a bit too much because of that.
when you enter the backseat of sash’s pink wrapped dodge charger, the smell of weed immediately hits your nose. your nose scrunches in reflex. you absolutely despise the smell of weed, it’s too strong for your liking.
“wassup, bitches!” sasha greets the two of you. sexyy red plays lowly, she had gotten those overdramatic speakers installed so the bass was almost overpowering.
“pass the blunt, hoe.” zinnia rolls her eyes.
“hi, sasha.” you greet with a slight smile that almost hurts to put on your face.
“you okay, bookie?” she tilts all the way in her seat so that she could make eye contact with you. her almost cracks seeing the redness in your eyes. “we gon’ get shit straight. trust. when i see connie and ony ‘m punching them dead in their shit.”
zinnia quickly agrees as she lights the blunt up. you let out a soft laugh, “y’all there’s no reason to get violent.”
she inhales for a few seconds before letting out a large cloud of smoke. “yeah, okay.” she says sarcastically.
sasha pulls off, the song f my baby dad and instantly sasha turns the music up. both her and zinnia begin screaming the lyrics.
“my nigga actin’ up so you know ‘m finna pop it!” zinnia screams to no one in particular.
“y’all,” sasha turns the music down once she gets to a red light, “me and connie had our first pregnancy scare some weeks ago.”
both you and zinnia shook your heads at her words. you truthfully were surprised that sasha wasn’t on her second child with connie, from the extreme stories she told the two of you about her love life, it’s only a wonder that she isn’t carrying.
“girl! why you shaking your head?! a lil’ birdie told me that ony had to buy your lil ass a plan b!” sasha looks at you through the rearview mirror.
your eyes immediately dart towards zinnia, she’s the only person you disclosed that information to. zinnia quickly turns the music up, pretending she didn’t hear sasha’s accusation.
when sasha parks near the house that’s throwing the party, you feel so afraid that you immediately want to throw up. you were doing good not crying but reality seems to settle in and you realize you’re actually about to confront ony. a lump forms in your throat that you struggle to swallow down. you’re looking out of the window, at the house. you’re so caught up in your head that you don’t realize both zinnia and sasha are looking at you in worry.
you’ve been anxious since a child. you’re the ‘come with me’ friend. it’s something you hated. there’s been numerous times you’ve wished and prayed that anxiety didn’t control your life. you struggled extremely with confrontation. maybe that’s why you and ony got along so well. you never questioned him or any of that sort. you prefer to sit back and watch rather than being in the spotlight, being perceived. that goes for family, friends, and strangers. you weren’t even tearing up from what ony did, while that did have a part in your tears, you were more so dreading the thought of speaking up to him.
“you okay, snookie?” zinnia asks, worriedly.
you inhale sharply, “y-yeah. can we just.. get this over with, please?”
they both share a glance before agreeing. the three of you exit the car, the sounds of purses, bracelets and y’all’s slide sandals sync as you walk towards the house.
“we’re so bad.” sasha sighs while looking over the three of you to make sure you all looked good.
once you enter the house, you’re immediately blinded by flashing lights. the air is hot and humid as numerous people rub against each other. loud speakers blast rap music and you could faintly hear people rapping along with the rapper. alcohol, weed, and sweat fills your nose making you internally gag. this is the second party you’ve ever came to and you want to leave right away. sasha grabs zinnia’s hand, and zinnia grabs your hand. sasha leads you three to the kitchen that’s only filled with a few people. out of the corner of your eye, you could see a couple sloppily making out against the refrigerator.
“here.” sasha hands you a small glass that is filled with something clear. “take a shot or two and loosen up.”
following her instructions, you take two shots straight. bile rises and you have to swallow it causing you to gag. you feel your body shiver as you attempt to digest the alcohol. you take a gulp from the red bull that zinnia gives you, trying to ease the burning sensation in your throat.
“they’re all in the livin’ room, i seen them all huddled up and shit.” sasha comments while holding a cup in her hand.
“les go.” zinnia doesn’t waste any time making her way over to them.
you follow the girls along with legs that feel like jelly. the closer you come to the group, the faster your heart beats inside your chest. when you're just a few steps away, the scent of weed hits you powerfully.
“ohhh!” connie screams once he sees the three of you walk up. “we got zinnia in da housseeeeeee! ohhh shitttt! y’all don’ got itty bitty’s ass to get out of daaa houseeee! whaaaatttt! oh, ‘nd sasha is here too.. i guesssss.” connie is obviously intoxicated as he slurs over his words.
immediately, the rest of the guys' heads snap in y'all's direction. you somehow hear armin let out a “oh lord” once he sees the expressions on sasha and zinnia’s faces.
“connie shut that shit up, boy! what that hell are you screaming for?!” sasha wastes no time grabbing connie by his shirt.
“unhand me you beast!” connie screams dramatically.
sasha rolls her eyes at connie’s antics. her eyes dart from face to face until they land on ony, who’s sitting there manspreading. there’s an uninterested look on his face as he views your trio before his eyes locate onto you and you only. eye contact that you haven’t held in three days. that lazy head tilt and seeing his full lips pressed straight, you have to force yourself to look elsewhere. you refuse to get sucked into his hypnotizing eyes once again.
“you. stand up, i wanna fight.” she tells ony.
ony looks at her boredly, his eyes are glossed and lidded. “sasha, gone somewhere, man.” “beat her ass, ony. ‘m too scared t’do it.” connie says from his grasp in sasha’s hand.
ony's eyes dart over to you. there's a look on his face that makes your knees almost buckle. your heart speeds up in your chest and you can tell from the shift in the atmosphere that something is about to pop off.
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