#MY WIFE!!!!!!!!!!
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
elizaisdunn · 3 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
“I am no man”
2K notes · View notes
rainofthetwilight · 5 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
SHE'S REAL SHE'S REAL SHE'S REAL SHE'S REAL SLEEVELESS HEADBAND NYA IS REAL AUSGHEHEYEHEHEHWHEHWHDHWHDHQGDGHWDHASHW
101 notes · View notes
nicawlette · 11 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Commission from @Sunny_8089
3 notes · View notes
jenjen4280 · 3 months ago
Text
Taken in 2000 about a year into our relationship.
Tumblr media
Taken in 2024 (last weekend). Didn’t quite get the pose or positioning right, but hey, we’re older and our memory ain’t what it used to be!
Tumblr media
68K notes · View notes
inbabylontheywept · 4 months ago
Text
so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.
the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.
i had like, fifteen raw eggs.
i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.
except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.
so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.
Tumblr media
63K notes · View notes
starspilli · 6 days ago
Text
Tumblr media
man of progress
42K notes · View notes
catchymemes · 6 months ago
Text
38K notes · View notes
pouletpourri · 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
"You just have to look closely."
24K notes · View notes
bigwizardhat · 10 months ago
Text
my cat stopping me from petting her
Tumblr media
68K notes · View notes
seagiri · 5 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
7 minutes in heaven
29K notes · View notes
saturnsconstellation · 21 days ago
Text
Men use “I’m just a man” to cheat on their wives. Odysseus uses “I’m just a man” to kill, slay and torture people to get back to HIS wife. They are not the same.
15K notes · View notes
myprivatethrowaway · 19 days ago
Text
Tumblr media
Sweet Mandi
15K notes · View notes
sabertoothwalrus · 8 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
chilchuck voice my wife
29K notes · View notes
superkramone · 28 days ago
Text
Tumblr media
🔥
18K notes · View notes
simplyfroggy · 6 months ago
Text
me when a movie is bad: 👎
me when a movie is good: 👍
me when a movie is mediocre:
Tumblr media
21K notes · View notes
benitobenavides · 28 days ago
Text
Tumblr media
🔥🔥🔥
12K notes · View notes