#MY FRIENDS I SOBBED WHEN I WATCHED S1 FINALE!!!! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

comma-souptra · 5 months ago

Text

BBC Merlin 10th rewatch thoughts compilation:

(this is also my first full rewatch since I was literally 18 so prefrontal cortex is notably more developed or whatever)

This is SO long and rambled because it’s for me and putting my thoughts down on my blog! But feel free to peruse bc I am just crying sobbing putting words down. Thoughts under the cut for spoilers <3

-fuck this show fr

-starting off strong with Angel Coulby you are the most beautiful woman and the most perfect Guinevere possible

-something interesting is how much more the lack of communication drove me bonkers this time around, like please just explain everything in detail to each other we could solve so many problems

-Merlin also seems like so much more of an ill-moraled character this go around? Like he is truly so morally grey and his logic for “should I do this” is deeply just “does it in any potential way benefit Arthur/the fuckass prophecy”

-TO THE POINT THAT he’s literally like Magic’s #1 Hater for five straight seasons AND can’t see that he is actively making the prophecy unfold every single time

-Gwen/Morgana gfs my angels I’m so sorry this happened to you

-Morgana should have had a friend so badly like one friend (not Morgause) would have saved her

-same exact sentiment for Mordred

-Merlin/Arthur and Merlin/Gwaine literally no comments

-actually this show invented polyamory and throuples would have saved many of you

-ON THE TOPIC Lancelot so badly is both Arthur and Merlin’s queer awakening in my heart. I do think Merlin likely already knew (Will) but I think his relationship to Lancelot made queer relationships seem feasible in some form

-I do not think Arthur knew at all and that’s why he looks so damn confused every time he interacts with Lancelot

-Lancelot is around for SO much less than I ever remember too he really is just stepping in to be pretty and complicate the narrative and then leave again

-Arthur needs glasses so severely I fear because I can excuse a lot of the missing magic moments but I watched Merlin lock eyes with him and use magic during that S5 dice game you can’t explain that one away

-Gwaine my beloved! Proof that a fictional man can be both a butch lesbian to the women in his life and a pansexual man to everyone else

-Morgana and Morgause…. This script is fruity as hell can we be for real. Both actresses said “yeah we played it a little queer” I fear the BBC was not brave enough to give Morgana an evil fucked up gf and went the Kill la Kill route

-I think by Elyan’s death all the knights fully must know that the ambiguous secret Merlin seems to have is in fact his magic and they are just choosing not to say anything out of respect for him (“he’s tell us when he’s ready”)

-EXCEPT: Leon doesn’t know. I do however think Leon just thinks Merlin is gay.

-Gwaine absolutely knows there’s literally no way around that one

-Gwen I feel also had an inkling that Merlin had magic, which I feel is supported by her and Gaius’ conversation in S5E13, I do also think she thinks he’s gay

-I also do think Merlin is gay

-I forgot how much of a through-line the joke that Merlin crossdresses is, it comes up at least three times

-tangentially related, the early friendship between Morgana and Merlin… I mourn u every day! The friends they could’ve been and how happy he was when he thought she knew he had magic (S1? When she thinks he has a crush on Gwen)

-also I forgot how much angst Merlin had about magic towards Gaius, several (justified) comments about how Gaius doesn’t understand what he’s going through

-also so so interesting is that I feel like in so many Magic Revealed fics, we write Arthur responding with shock & confusion & anger (which all rock big fan), but in the finale, once he understands that Merlin is so for serious a sorcerer, he’s just so scared of him?? Which was crazy I don’t think that has sunk in before how scared he looks

-and then they start to get over it and we get the reminiscing about their fight from the first day they met where Merlin confesses to using magic and we get the devastating exchange “you cheated” “you looked like you were going to kill me!” “I should have”

-damn major nostalgia vibe killer from Arthur, DEVASTATING on this rewatch

-also S5E12 when Gwaine and Merlin and traveling through the valley of the fallen kings and get jumped by bandits and Merlin gets cornered and HOLLERS for Gwaine thank you BBC that one lives rent free in my head always

-fuck this dragon for real also because Merlin DOES kind of fail like none of the shit they planned for happened, they got pieces but so much more COULDVE worked out without this fuckass dragon whispering in Merlin’s ear every day Kilgharrah it’s on sight dude

-finally maybe the most sickening parallel I have to offer is S4E13 when Isolde is dying and she and Tristan are reminiscing on the plans they had that are obviously not going to happen anymore and she says “hold me”

-which obviously is striking a significant chord with Arthur as it spurs him to reconcile with Gwen (thank god everyone cheered)

-(also why was the full breadth of her enchantment never discussed back to miscommunication please she didn’t cheat on him like that justice for Gwen’s rep I’m sick)

-BUT ALSO! A season later in S5E13 we get Merlin and a dying Arthur with Merlin trying to explain that they have so much to do so Arthur can’t die, and Arthur says “just hold me”

-I will lose it every time about this one… watching half of a couple die and mourn the chance to live a life together and then mirroring that at your own death with the man you are unexplainably close and connected to

-also the “I’m going to say something I’ve never said to you before… thank you” had such a queer set up that even my parents thought it was going to be an “I love you” when we watched the show for the first time together in like 2014 so… it’s the Spanish supernatural finale dub in my heart

-I think that’s enough I’m just sick to my STOMACH over this show once again, obviously it’s a BBC show from 2009 so it’s not without criticism but it’s genuinely my favorite TV show I’ve ever seen without competition. There is a deeply clear allegory for queerness that has drawn in and continues to draw in queer fans constantly and keep the viewership active. I also just love so badly how campy and classic it is, it’s one of the few pieces of media I have in DVD because I fear so badly to lose it. BBC Merlin I love u what a brilliant and silly and devastating tv show from 2009

#bbc merlin #ugh it kills me every time #the dog I’m dogsitting it looking at me so sideways I swear I’m fine girl #I meant to finish it before I came into your home so sorry #merlin emrys #arthur pendragon #guinevere #morgana pendragon

20 notes · View notes

nikki-is-a-nerd · 10 months ago

Text

Since The Percy Jackson s1 is done, i can now write my overall experience with it. Mind you i only read the first book of PJO because I couldn’t afford the books and because goddamn borrowing it from the university library was like a pack of coyotes seeing a slab of meat after 15 years of starvation.

(Side note: i once got scratched in the face by a girl who wanted to read Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief, when i was gonna borrow the book for a second time. I learned it was better to just buy the books one by one per year.)

So i fully enjoyed the series. Regardless of how a lot of people have been calling it shit or a disgrace to the books. Like I appreciate how Uncle Rick managed to retell his own story, see it come to life, in a way that he wants. I appreciate Sally Jackson having a bigger impact to how Percy is as a person and as a character.

Yes, i too was shocked with the grover snitch scene in ep 1, then I thought about it, it made sense. Grover is my favorite character and i would like to say that the movie version of Grover made me feel uneasy but this version of grover, he made me long for that kind of friendship. I also love how Grover unlike in the movies, isn’t comic relief. You see his emotional struggles. You see him grow from “we have to keep the peace, let’s all be kind” to then showing us that he’s more than that. He is smart, cunning, manipulative if need be. He is also brave and he carries so much emotional baggage. The fact that he expresses rage about certain things, makes him feel more human to me. By giving him so much depth, by casting Aryan Simhadri, his depiction of grover would make book grover very proud.

Annabeth is also really really amazing in my eyes. Seeing a child give off an air of “i know things that you don’t” like an adult is so cool. Seeing her grow from “the gods are just and they have their reasons” to “The gods have flaws and they make mistakes, but i will be better than that” is very tear jerking. It helped me see Annabeth in those moments as a child who didn’t get to experience a proper childhood finally see what its like to be loved without having to give anything in return. Leah Sava Jeffries, shows emotions so well. Her posture changes depending on how she feels. She slouches a bit when she’s dejected or upset and is more poised when she’s feeling the most confident. Her eyes carry so much emotion in scenes where she doesn’t speak. She’s a lovely actress.

Percy, gods where do i even begin. Walker first off, played this character so well! You see how he’s feeling through his eyes, his face is so expressive and i love it. Percy also gets my mom approval card (which means my mom also loves his character). The way they show him to be loyal, caring, empathetic but also he’s just a child so you understand why he acts the way he acts. People complained about how percy wasn’t fighting like a pro, but i think that’s what makes it great. Percy is new, he’s learning as he goes, when we finally see Walker Portray the Percy that we all know, we can look back at s1 and we’ll see that truly, Percy has grown in skill. Also im always gonna sob over the fact that his scenes where he chooses to sacrifice himself for his friends, he always implies how he isn’t enough, we see how he sees himself and that hurts. Percy’s sass and humor though are also such highlights. I would love to see more of walker’s percy too.

Now honorable mention to my favorite backstabbing, pretty boy, luke. I love how he is such a good actor. Watching him play luke kinda immersed me in the moment, i forgot that this kind ,young man is the antagonist. Because when he played luke when we first saw him, i too wouldn’t be able to think that this guy, he can be cruel. But he delivers so much rage, so much resentment in his scene with percy in the finale. The way charlie acted in that scene, gods, i was shocked. I truly believe watching him and his character’s descent to something more is gonna be a rollercoaster ride of emotions.

The show in itself is really really good. Yes there are odd sudden black screens, but I don’t mind them. I don’t mind the changes, i just think that the episodes could be a bit longer. The story is captivating even with those changes, i love how Uncle Rick got the chance to give us an adaptation that isn’t an exact copy of the book, because i believe that a good adaptation doesn’t need to be a scene per scene copy, because if that’s what y’all wanted, listen to an audio book where people act out the scenes. Think of it this way, the book and the show are just two separate universes. Like how we have the MCU and the Marvel Comics. Same characters but different continuums.

People tend to find the negatives before they see the positives, its how we’re mostly wired. If we look past them, you’ll see that there are things that are better.

I would definitely be excited for a s2

#nikki rants pjo #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo tv show #pjo spoilers #essay

14 notes · View notes

2davethefish · 4 months ago

Text

oops looks like it's that time of the year again (july 28th iykyk) and i NEED to tell everyone about my night watching Good Omens Season 2 for the first time.

the lead up: I had been staying in a city with no friends nearly the entire month of July and thinking about GO was my favorite past time, when I moved back home, I told my family about my plans on July 28th at 6 pm and that I would not be doing anything but that.

my mom, my sweet mother who likes to do everything with me, decides she also wants to watch GO with me. so we watch S1 but then she stops and we have two episodes left but it's like 4pm on July 28th and the hour is fast approaching that I need to watch it because i NEED TO WATCH IT

so we sit down and begin to watch. we're only a few minutes behind schedule, but we're still finishing the last episode as the clock hits 6 pm. so we finish it, and that's also. I swear we booted up the new season and there's a knock at the door.

it's people visiting to wish my sister a happy birthday and drop off a treat. and they stay like 30 minutes, so we're falling behind and ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS GOOD OMENS. they leave, and we begin again.

we start the second or third episode and there's ANOTHER knock on the door.

to have one visitor at my parent's house is weird, but TWO???? UNHEARD OF.

also it was the mormon missionaries.

so now we're very behind because my mother is chatting with them and I can't watch it without her.

we then continue, and it goes as you expect: pretty well, although awkward because my mom is right next to me as these things happen.

and then the final fifteen. i am sobbing on the couch, my mom's just kinda sitting there cause she's likely never seen me cry this hard (oops)

and then I go to bed (scroll on tumblr) and I can't fall asleep because I'm just THINKING about EVERYTHING

but it's very important I have to go to sleep because I have to drive eight hours to see my friends the next day and I have to leave at like 6 am and it's already 1 am. eventually I fall asleep, and I wake up and drink so much caffeine and leave for my friend's house

I stop at my usual halfway point and what song are they playing? "You're My Best Friend" by Queen. and what do I think about when I'm driving alone in the middle of nowhere? The Ineffable Husbands of course.

anyway the end to this story is that I get to my friend's house and I make her and her roommate watch it and I got them hooked (oops again)

and that's my story of watching S2 for the first time. I hope when S3 comes out it will be less hectic

#good omens s2 #go2 #good omens #i am normal about good omens

4 notes · View notes

storkmuffin · 1 year ago

Text

November 26.

I'm not good at being in my body or feeling my feelings. Trying to fix that, so when my sternum hurt & my chest tightened during my drive into work today I massaged that area. I burst into tears. Each time the hurt was acute, I patted and rubbed my sad broken heart, gently, and I sobbed.

This is grief.

The last time I did this, sobbing while driving, was when C died on November 26, 2018. Which is the day my friendship with B ended, in 2023. I have been marking the day every year since C's passing, but I think I need to mark it differently. The attempt to avoid taking a whole day to live in my devastating loss may have hastened the bringing on of a new one.

So now is my sad, grief-stricken review of events, in the hopefully not-futile prayer of not repeating this again.

I know when someone blocks you on tumblr you're supposed to stfu forever. But I just was in too much pain, so I reached out to say goodbye, and she was kind of enough to write me back with a patient explanation for why she couldn't have me in her life anymore. It was, in part validating - I hadn't imagined it, that the connection was real. But it's also a repeat of a pattern in my life, for which I may or may not finally have an explanation (Autism Spectrum).

I've had many a relationship end with, How Can You Say Something Like That In That Way? I Can't Forgive You Because You Should Have Known That Is The Line Not To Cross.

Except I don't and never have, until I blunder across it and get told like this in the post mortem, when it's too late.

I wasn't drawn to or intrigued by the new show my ex friend got into, but I wanted to follow her into it, so I read Treasure Island (which was like pulling teeth, because I didn't enjoy it) to get the context. I didn't enjoy the story and felt nothing for Long John Silver. But even so, I started to watch the show. I ploughed through S1 which was fun enough, and relieving to me because I didn't hate it. So I tried to please her, even though she never asked me to do this. I ploughed through S2. I tried to understand this character I find increasingly repellent and incomprehensible, because he behaves in S2 exactly like people I despise in real life, who have undermined and attacked me.

Meanwhile work got insanely busy, and I see now that with C's deathdate barrelling at me, I tried to outrun it by loading myself up still further with projects: signed up for nanowrimo (despite averaging 20K a month this year every month for my long fic), liveblogging the pirate show, working out more, setting up lots of dinners and outings (Nutcracker tix, Mom's birthday lunch, etc etc) for December, and so on. All this while trying to cope with the autism self discovery I've had going on since fall.

On Friday Nov 10 and Nov 17, I had especially bad days at work, not because of the work but from run ins with people. I asked questions that I thought were neutral but they reacted with rage. (Again, the Autism Spectrum thing, and what the lingo seems to call Failure to Mask).

On Nov 23rd, US Thanksgiving, we had a work outing, which I went to out of obligation but it was a loud games-night-at-the-bar event. Nightmare. So I just let myself do what I wanted and ended up sitting numb in the corner with everyone's backs turned to me. They didn't push me out or anything. They all wanted to do that, gather in a rowdy circle shouting over a game, and I found it physically unbearable. I really must be autistic, was my conclusion, and that brought its own fear and sadness.

On the 24th, I went to see a production of Medea, whom they portrayed as a woman who desperately tried to please her husband only to be betrayed, and found herself completely depleted of any inner resources, including her sanity, to help her cope with the aftermath. I wish I hadn't seen that. It was so hopeless.

On the 25th, I had a run in with my father, who picked a fight with me. I know his methods, but I was feeling so tired that I couldn't effectively resist his trying to induce a fight, as I have successfully routinely done for the past couple years. We had a blow out fight.

Then came the 26th, where I made a series of shitposts about the pirate show, which was by then a welcome distraction from reality. Except the show gets very dark in S2, and I had a sense I was supposed to experience an about-face on John Silver during the leg loss plot line and I found I did not. My tumblr friend saw that post, which crossed an absolute boundary, and she was done with me.

I wanted to avoid feeling sad, and the one way I know how to do that is to be busy, but the resultant overload just brought me to a new, completely unanticipated heartbreak. Probably, if I hadn't done the overloading at the start of the month, I may have had more resources to cope with the work outing and the fight with my dad. If I had just spent the 26th in grief instead of trying to avoid that pain, none of this may have happened, or happened differently in a way that didn't hurt my former friend as much, or broke my heart so badly. If I wasn't autistic, I may have had an explicit clear understanding of what the line was I wasn't supposed to cross or possibly, never even had the feelings I had. Oh, if only.

#beloved #heartbreak #tumblr mutual

8 notes · View notes

asterssunzephyr · 1 year ago

Text

chat I can go ON about why theyre equal to me.

I love them both bc they gave us so much different dynamics despite knowing how everyone is with each other in other smps

both seasons mean so much to me and I can explain why if someone wants to listen

thats A LIE ill do it anyone, this is my blog & if you have notifs on then thats your fuckin problem expect me to go on for hours if I wanted to.

ONTO THE TALKING

-------

S1 the season I didnt watch while it was active. I started watching Geminitay, empires smp s1 after it had ended. Originally, while it was still coming out with new episodes, I was watching Lizzie. I got up to right before the Xornoth appearances before I stopped watching because as much as I loved Lizzie, i put two and two together that at the time I wasnt a fan of smps that were new and preferred watching my past, such as Lizzies crazycraft series.

Mind you, I was also a lot more into anime and was actively watching KNY at the time that esmp s1 came out. I was also going through my freshman year of Highschool and right before sophomore year.

Well, we move onto post s1, pre s2, and I decide "Why not pick this series back up? Maybe someone else out of curiosity of expanding who I watch on youtube." well. I picked s1 up post sophomore year and right before my junior year. I finished s1 Fwhip (I am on a mission of watching everyones s1, Ive gone through Shelby (x2), Katherine, Gem (x2), and Fwhip). A month later, s2 started and I started actively watching Shelby and Gem for s2. At one point, in December, I fell behind on episodes because my great grandmother died and I had finals going on as well. Around the start of January I pick it back up from the Festival so I can refresh my own memory.

Cue March 2023, Junior year of highschools for Icarus when I recieve the absolute worst news of my life: My childhood best friend, the one I could always count on, my dog died. S2 ended right before my birthday and I now am in my finale year of highschool, without my dog thats been with me since I was child and getting hit by a train every other week due to sn act class that I only need to graduate.

If s3 of empires smp comes around I hope all of you will be prepared to listen to me sobbing over c!Shelby and c!Gem AGAIN becauze theyre my little fellas and I love them too much for my own good and cc!Shelby has gotten me through the past few months when I havent been my best.

Empires smp is a comfort series for me, and Area Unknown has found its way right next to esmp. Aimsey & Guqqie have become comfort streamers right next to Shelby in the sense that I can watch their vods and I feel content with life and where Im at.

Empires has been there for me these past few years when I didnt think I had anyone else. Empires has lead me to meet some of the best people I've come to be friends with. Empires has connected me to people I never thought I would ever befriend, and Im so thankful for it.

All of you fucks have to thank Empires for me being on Tumblr too.

#empires smp #Mostly empires #ausmp is mentioned in this post #but its mostly empires smp !

7 notes · View notes

starlit-miasmas · 1 year ago

Text

good omens season 2 is real and im even more insane than the previous post. Fuck, Dude. ep4-6 thoughts and spoilers under the cut <3 a bit less than coherent

EP4 zira named the bentley "lesi".. or maybe its always been named lesi and crowley just never uses its name.

"you don't seem [crowley's] type at all" you'd be surprised! they've been in love since the Beginning :)

oh shit i just realized the crank crowley uses to wind up the stars is the same as the thing he has at the end of s1 when they're facing off satan. i have no idea what the thing actually is? but they look the same!

also back at the blitz ayy. hell really sent nazi zombies after them to find out if they're """fraternizing"""

love them just casually driving through burning buildings, and zira with the 🥰 face

zira's magician career, failing for over a hundred years. both instances we've been shown have involved guns i think! incredibly funny of zira to be the one between them with a firearms license.

"no need to thank me, that's what...friends...are for!" what if i died. accept that you're friends. dude just walked into a church for you!!

everyone's just ignoring the literal zombies walking around. i mean, what would you Actually do if you saw dead people walking around. it's like that one guy who didn't know if he should point out crowley's car was on fire in s1

"you need someone you can really trust to pull off this trick!" crowley going like 🤨 . i love them. trust <333

zira has such bad stage presence. im sorry to say it but its true. hes so bad at it.

the whole shooting scene was so tense my bones hurted. crowley why'd you agree to this when you don't know how to use a gun 😭

love that furfur(??)s reasoning that clearly they're in cahoots was that the trick needs someone you can trust

"shall we retire the act?" and then warlocks birthday party. cant believe they gave ziras shitty magician skills lore

"i knew youd come through for me. you always do. " "well, you said 'trust me'" "and you did :)" i love them so much. almost as much as they love each other!

"maybe there is something to be said for...shades of grey?" is this an innuendo. i know theyre talking about moral ambiguity. but.

watched this w my family and called this scene gay. they were literally drinking wine by candlelight with just the two of them. my dad said "they're just friends" im gonna sob.

EP5 idk if i said it in the last post but why does crowley bother to keep driving back and forth, just move in with your boyf already you know you want to.

zira willfully giving away books thats how you know the end times are upon us

how the fuck is hell understaffed. only 70 demons willing to do battle??? damn!

i love crowley just sauntering around in the back while ziras doing business, he j like me fr.

crying they finally got properly asked if they're dating. crowley having Thoughts and Realizations about it...

the demon that keeps asking questions is an excellent audience member. winning the participation points.

crowley getting mad at jim and protective over zira ❤️ window was a bit far, but damn go off. crowley doing a nice deed and then "no one will ever believe you"ing jim. of course he would

the ball is so offputting, the way everyone just falls into their roles and the ""seamstress"" cant say her actual job. terrifying. bad vibes .

crowley telling nina to trust somebody for once in her life while pointing to the shop of the only being he's ever trusted..... feelings

and oh fuck its the 1/75th of a legion of hell

crowley yelling at them that they are out of order is great. i love zira and crowley telling the angels + demons how things are done around here.

the greenish light outside the windows is excellent ambience. i love jims jacket its so ostentatious.

ZIRA DRAGGING CROWLEY TO THE DANCE FLOOR HELL YEAH!! i love banter argument dancing.

jim is a fool. the selflessness is appreciated though! albeit ultimately useless. where did he get the coat its fanatastic.

crowley just bullshitting bureaucratic nonsense at them, he's great.

shax has great hair in this scene though.

"why don't you make your own plans" "it makes [crowley] so happy to save me :)" theyre so silly.

meanwhile crowley getting himself "arrested":

EP6 oh good lord we're really in it now

zira having battery operated candles and the bajillion fire extinguishers.....bookshop burning down done left its mark

crowley's heaven fit is great. the gold snake tattoo is a neat touch

maggie flipping off the demons was absolutely iconic of her but oh balls you really gotta think about your wording at a time like this 😭

not a fan of the minor employment of the "i grew up with brothers so im a bad bitch" trope but ehhhhhhh

poor muriel they got crowley scheme'd 😔 i love muriel they're just doing their best, ok, and thats enough :)

magnus archives reference: why do fire extinguishers keep working against the supernatural! pretty convenient for them ig

zira Is crowleys emotional support angel, thank u very much. crowley is zira's emotional support demon too ❤️

gabriel got yoiten! bro got fired because he realized he wanted armageddon't not armageddo. it Is, in fact, an Institutional Problem.

did not expect halos to be functionally the same as bombs but i havent read the bible in years, what do i know

love crowley hearing ziras done something and immediately zooping back.

i love crowley just scolding everyone for being idiots, how is he the one with the braincell.

"if we do a miracle together it all works too well" YEAH what they thought was a teeny half miracle on each of their parts was apparently strong enough to be mistaken for a fucking archangel??? the power of love!!

and then the unexpected ineffable bureaucracy win???? i thought the fly was just beez snooping about at first but No it was gabriel being gaybriel and storing his entire being in a gift from beez.

angels and demons surreptitiously meeting up for meals has always been the answer. except ineffable bureaucracy dont actually eat but its the sentiment that counts :D

gabe deciding he likes 'everyday' just because beez likes it and then that being the only thing he remembers solidly when he's not actively straining his brain??? im so soft.

in a second stunning act of homoblindness my dad asked "why do they keep meeting up 🤨" to this montage. truly a bruh moment

gabe miracling the jukebox to always play beez's favorite song..... bro is down bad. the whole ineffable bureaucracy montage was SO FUCKING SWEET i love them so much i didnt expect to come out of this as an ineffable bureaucracy truther but im glad i did

"something that mattered more to me than choosing sides" 😭 theyre holding hands .............

and then the family-dinnercore bickering match 💀 none of these mfs are mature. love zira scolding them. ineffable husbands rly flexing their parenting muscles this season

"wherever beezlebub is, is my heaven" "and wherever you are, is my hell" this hurts so much against the ineffable husbands finale but we'll get there. and then they vanish off to loveland or something ❤️ happy for them, im glad at least two people got a happy ending out of this. they chose the side of love ❤️

and then uh. Fucking Metatron. fuck. the ominous music when they go out on their Stroll.

so soft for the scene with crowley putting everything back in order in the bookshop. domestic as hell. the soft music. crowley just knowing how everything is Supposed to be. <3

nina and maggie come to make ineffable husbands get their shit together! love nina calling maggie 'angel', sure wonder where she got that from..

the boys are gonna talk about their feelings?! no. no they aren't, actually. everything's gonna go to shit instead. god i cannot put my feelings on this scene into anything coherent. i am in pain.

because its always been crowley advocating for Their Side and zira's believed heaven is Absolute Good and shit and of course that's what takes them apart 😭 because fucking TRAGEDIES and the narrative is out for these fuckers.

zira please 😭 its you two on earth, you two together on Your Side. not you two ruling heaven together 😭 in shambles. suffering.

i didnt actually absorb crowleys confession enough because the brain was melting into jello but fuck dude.

NO MORE NIGHTINGALES. THE KISS. ZIRA TOUCHING HIS FACE AFTER. FUCK! it was a win for TWO SECONDS. 😭

LOVE LOST. THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT.

#good omens #good omens season 2 #good omens 2 spoilers #gos2 #gos2 spoilers #religion cw

9 notes · View notes

vammppyre · 1 year ago

Text

LOKI S2 FINALE REACTION

cuz ik this is gonna be Bat Shit Insane

I am SO EXCITEDDDD

ok here we go

THE INTRO IS EPIC

OMG THE TIMING AHHH

WHYD HE STILL LET TIMELY SPAGHETTIFY???????

is that like the furthest back he can go or something????

nvm hes just struggling (fair, hes watching someone spaghettify over and over again)

DUDE JUST TELL THEM YOU FIGURED OUT HOW TO TIME TRAVEL

the model scene again is sending me omg

AGAIN. TELL THEM THE TIME SLIPPING WAS TIME TRAVEL

tell them tell them tell them you're driving me insane loki, GIVE THEM AN EXPLANATION PLEASE BBY

omg he knows all the weak spots on the suit omg

HE SMARTTTTTT

mobius confusedddd

HE SO SMART NOW

YAYYYYY TIMELY

she's so brave! she's well-behaved! she is not afraidddddd!!!

CMONNNN TIMELYYY YOU GOT THISSSS

HOOF IT HOOF IT HOOF IT

centuriessss omg hes been going through it im gonna cry thinking about it holy shit. all for his friends. I love him so much

WIZARDDDD

NOOO THE READINGS WHATS HAPPENING

shittt no the pruning has to happen doesn't it....

oh god

is he gonna have to go back to before the end of s1?

HE IS WHO REMAINS NOW ISNT HEEEEEEEEEE

HE WHO REMAINS (rip) WAS RIGHT ITS GOTTA BE LOKI

hug mobius hug mobius hug mobius before they all die again please please please

I WAS RIGHT HES BACKKKKKKKK BOIIII

AHHAHAHAHHA THIS MEANS NO MORE CANON SYLKI KISS AHHAHAHAHAH

tell her u time traveled tell her you time traveled tell her you time traveled tell her you've time traveled tell her you've time traveled tell her you've time traveled TELL HER YOUVE TIME TRAVLED

HOLYSHIT THIS IS HOW HE WHO REMAINED REMAINED IN THE FIRST PLACE ITS GOTTA BEEEEE

HAHAHH BOTH OF THEM STOPPING HER IN THE ELEVATOR THIS IS GOLDEN

no way is he actually going to have to kill her?

FROZEN IN TIMEEE HELL YEAH

omg YESSSSS HOLYSHITHOLYSHITHOLYSHIT

IM GOING INSANE

WHERE DID HE PUT HER LMFAOOOO

omg this actually means he doesnt kiss Sylvie ever again lmfaooo. gay ass (affectionate)

"this is a lot for you" lmfaoooo "lmk when you're ready to have a conversation"

OOOOOH BACK ATTEM

omg the first "idk what happens after this" was a SETUPPPPPP HOLYSHITTTTT IM SCREAMINGGGGGG

is he EVER gonna tell mobius/the gang. I feel like if he would've told them in one of his retries they would've showed us

it just occurred to me none of season two happened to ANYONE but loki holyshit

the actual concept of the end of time is still crazyyy to me like my little peabrain can't comprehend

NOOOO IS HE ACTUALLY GONNA KILL HER

OMG HES GOING BACK FURTHER!!!!!!

omg omg omg pre all of his relationships hes barely gonna have his friends hes gonna have to reform all the relationships

HES BLOWING MOBIUS'S MINDDDDD HES GONNA HAVE TO BREAK HIS MINDSET AGAIN PLEASE LET THEM HAVE THEIR RELATIONSHIP BACK

I just know hes so happy to talk to mobius again hes spent probably weeks months years at the citadel at the end of time

more burden than glory omgomgomg

MOBIUS WAS THE ONE WHO HESITATED sobbing

no nO WHY WHY WHY WHAT WHAT WHAT

HES BACK IN THE PRESENT???

WHATTTT

OMG HE STOPPED IT FULLY

HE PULLED SYLVIE OUTSIDE TIME!!!

at least hes finally telling somebody

NOOO HES GONNA HAVE TO KILL HER :(

don't fucking make them kiss AGAIN istg

babes hes spent CENTURIES reliving shit please gurl

okokokokokokok!!!

hes just chilling with them (in slow-mo? can't tell)

NOOOOOOOOO DONT DO IT

boy if you die everything does dont do it

slutty hair flip here we go

IWHATWHATWHAT

OMGOMGOMG COSTUMINGGG COSTUMINGGGGG YEAHHH BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

ok that's creepy looking asf

WHOAAAAAAAAA

OHMYGOD OHMYGOD

im gonna start sobbing

YESSS SIT ON THAT THRONE

WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAA OMGOMGOMG

YGDRASSIL OH MY GOD OH M Y GOD

THE TREE OF FUCKING TIME!!!

mobius :(

im actually sobbing right now :(((

lmfao they pruned Ravenna

GET GOT LOL

DON :(

MOBIUS AND SYLVIEEEE

LOKIIIIIIIII

glorious purpose. sobbing. sobbing.

its rly good this just means its really over.

#loki spoilers #loki finale #mcu loki #losing my shit #screaming #crying #throwing up

2 notes · View notes

crosshairct4 · 2 years ago

Text

I have a ton of theories as to what I think will happen in the third season of The Bad Batch. I’m a firm believer that Tech is not dead. There are many things pointing to this fact. I’m going to list them below. Things

1. Tech and Phee didn’t have a proper goodbye. He couldn’t even make eye contact with her. To me, their parting left much to be desired. Here’s how I look at it. Had they parted on better terms (a kiss on the cheek for example) his death would be more final. Since they didn’t part on good terms (so to speak), the door of their relationship is still wide open. There’s so much potential here.

2. I believe Hemlock took him. There’s a strong possibility they’re going to do an arc where Crosshair, Tech, and Omega attempt to escape Mount Tantiss together. I’m all for that. Crosshair and Tech are my boys. Them teaming up and working together would make my whole year. Let’s face it, Crosshair and Omega will need Tech to help them get out of there.

3. Tech’s goggles. Remember when Hunter said Tech’s always recording things? His goggles could reveal a lot. Hunter was too grief-stricken to even consider that. When his head’s more clear, he could realize this and use the goggles to find out what really happened that day, ultimately coming to discover his brother isn’t really dead.

4. Tech thought by severing the line, he was saving his brothers and sister. The car fell anyway. Basically, Tech’s sacrifice was for nothing. What kind of an end is that? It’s not fair. Tech deserves better. So Tech merely fell. His brothers and Omega crashed, sustaining serious injuries. That’s a huge difference, in my opinion. Hunter fell from a great height in season S1 E14 don’t you forget, and he was fine.

5. There’s no body. In the Star Wars universe, if there’s no body, then the person isn’t dead. Until I see a body, I’m going to cling to the hope that Tech is still alive.

I haven’t been okay since watching that episode… I had to pause it after Tech fell just to get a hold of myself, I was sobbing so hard. I feel as though I’ve lost a very dear friend. I had to share my theories whether anyone reads them or not. It’s a great weight off my chest.

I’m still thinking about that episode. Still depressed about it. Theorizing helps just a little bit. I hope Tech isn’t dead… I know I’m not the only one who feels this way.

#the bad batch #tech is not dead #tech is alive #tbb theories

11 notes · View notes

safflowerseason · 1 year ago

Note

Ted Lasso, the OC!

Favourite character:

Funniest character:

Best-looking character:

3 favourite ships:

Least favourite character:

Least favourite ship:

Reason why I watch it:

Why I started watching it:

Thanks so much for the ask!! This is a fun game!!

Ted Lasso

Favourite character: In season one it was Rebecca, but S2-3 Jamie Tartt (unexpectedly!) has earned the top-spot in my character ranking.

Funniest character: oh god, how can I choose...a tie between Roy and Jamie?? Although Higgins is also extra-delightful, and I love Kitman Will Kitman's little bits. OH WAIT NEVER MIND my answer is ISAAC.

Best-looking character: Jamie Tartt. Phil Dunster is...whew.

3 favourite ships: hmmmm!! this is hard, Ted Lasso is the rare show where I don't find myself super invested in one particular ship. Higgins/his wife are probably my Ted Lasso OTP to be honest. I do like Roy/Keeley although I think the writer bungled their break-up pretty badly this season.

Least favourite character: Besides Rupert who I feel is everybody's automatic least favorite, probably Nate, just because I think the show ultimately ruined all the interesting potential for his storyline.

Least favourite ship: idk, Nate/Jade, probably? Also Coach Beard/Jane never made much sense to me either. Give Beard a more compelling love interest!

Reason why I watch it: To see how it ends!! (Assuming S3 is the final season, which it may not be...increasingly it feels like they are going to continue just without Jason Sudeikis/Ted).

Why I started watching it: I started watching Ted Lasso in late December 2020...I had seen some chatter about it online, and I had an AppleTv+ subscription earlier than most of my friends/family because I got a new iPad at the time when Apple was giving out subscriptions for free ☠️ It was such an intense time...I spent most of that month just lying around and feeling sad about the state of the world, and the show's focus on kindness felt really revelatory in a time of such political turmoil, but also in general a really tightly written, well constructed show (I do not feel that way now, necessarily). I remember sobbing my eyes out at the end of "Tan Lines" where Ted says goodbye to Michelle and my dad was like "...what are you watching???"

The OC

Favourite character: Oh god, probably a tie between Marissa and Kirsten...two characters who I feel got screwed by Josh Schwartz (albeit to very different degrees).

Funniest character: Unfortunately because the character has aged so poorly, it is indeed Seth Cohen, although I think Sandy is a close second.

Best-looking character: MARISSA. S1 Marissa is just the EPITOME of California beauty to me.

3 favourite ships: Ryan x Marissa, Sandy x Kirsten, um...I *guess* Seth and Summer, their S1 story anyway. My favorite trash!ship is Jimmy x Julie. Smarter writers could have done something with their chemistry!

Least favourite character: Hmmm...of the main ensemble I have to say Jimmy, although among the rotating supporting cast I really don't like Rachel in S1. Trey, of course, for what he did to Marissa. Also Rebecca and Carter in S2. Basically everyone the writers invented in S2 and S3 for "drama" purposes, because they were all so poorly written!! (with the exception of Alex).

Least favourite ship: Ryan x Sadie and Marissa x Volchok. I only saw S3 once and I found both of those relationships offensive.

Reason why I watch it: S1 is prestige television!!! Especially through "The Best Chrismukkah Ever." Teen drama at its best!! The pilot is one of the best episodes of American network television ever produced, and I will go die on this hill.

Why I started watching it: The OC was so omnipresent in the early-mid 00's I honestly don't remember where I first heard about it. I do remember seeing a youtube clip (in youtube's earliest days when it was just fanvids and bootlegged movies) of the ending of The Countdown and Ryan and Marissa's iconic kiss and thinking "wow, I have to watch this show."

#ted lasso #the oc #television asks #ask away ask away #ask games

3 notes · View notes

xaerais · 2 years ago

Text

❗S4 VOL. 2 SPOILERS ❗

Unpopular opinion, but I think Max Mayfield should’ve died this season, and Eddie Munson should’ve lived.

And in NO WAY is this hate towards Sadie Sink or her character. I adore Max with all my heart, and Sadie brought her to life in such an amazing way with such a spectacular performance.

However, I’m upset the Duffer Brothers are too scared to kill off a main character of the show, especially when they were SO CLOSE. So, let me explain why I believe Max should’ve stayed dead, and Eddie should’ve lived.

For starters, Stranger Things has always been a heartwrenching show. It’s always been extreme, and with each new season, this story is somehow taken to the next level.

And when new characters are added seemingly every new season, the fanbase falls in love with them almost instantly, and become attached; as well as excited to see where they’ll end up.

Now, we’ve had Max since S2 and got the opportunity to see her grow and become an important part of the main cast. In S3, her relationship with Eleven grew, and she became valued by the original party members from S1 and any fans, really, that’ve been watching from the very beginning. With the death of her brother, however, and the suffering she’s endured henceforth from Vecna’s curse, and even herself and her own mental state struggling to maintain a good relationship with Lucas and the rest of her friends, we’ve gotten to witness first hand how her character has severely pulled back.

This behavior only continues and worsens throughout the course of S4, up until Vol. 2 released showing us that she had no problem with dying right up until she was held in Lucas’ arms sobbing about not being ready yet.

Already, that was a heartbreaking moment for us viewers to watch. And it was only that heartbreaking because we believed this was actually the end for her character as a whole. That Vecna finally got her, and that their well-thought-out plan to kill Vecna still didn’t work the way they wanted it to.

But the impact that moment had—even with El who couldn’t physically be there, yet was seen still mourning for her friend—seemed to dissipate in an instant. All in all, I am SO annoyed El “saved”/kept Max alive.

I understand that, yes, El wanted to at least do something for her friend, and that if any of us were in the same situation, we’d try to do something too. But she did when she attempted to piggyback and keep her safe. They took away the one aspect I personally love most in writing that I think they should’ve kept.

When even despite doing everything a person can do to save someone, it still isn't enough.

If the Duffer Brothers weren’t so afraid of killing off their main cast, Max was definitely one of the few characters that should’ve stayed dead. Because it hurts more, leaves a bigger impact on what’s to come next. And with a solid plan to defeat Vecna, and El even coming to her aid yet STILL being killed off? Oh man that would’ve been so good.

That’s good writing for a tragedy. A new kind of pain that Stranger Things could’ve been known for, and that other really big shows haven’t been afraid to do yet continue to thrive even after they’ve ended. (i.e. Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead).

And going back to what I was saying earlier about Eddie, oh man, he had so much potential and so much depth for a character to be killed off as quickly as he was. For Chrissy, it might’ve been acceptable because she was introduced and then killed in the same episode. But for a character to be introduced in a new season, then killed in the same one when he had evidently WAY more room to grow? It was a poor choice on the Duffer Brothers’ part. He was already super loveable thanks to Joe Quinn’s fantastic efforts, and there was ultimately just so much more to him we should’ve been able to see before his untimely and overall pointless death.

All of it felt wrong to me, so at this point I’m just... curious to see where they go in S5. I pray they don’t disappoint us as much as they did with S4’s season finale. Stranger Things had such a good thing going for them!

#stranger things #eddie munson #chrissy x eddie #eddie stranger things #edissy #max mayfield #max mayfield death #stranger things season four volume two #stranger things season 4 vol. 2 #stranger things season 4 #stranger things season 4 spoilers #stranger things season four #stranger things vol. 2 #stranger things volume 2 #stranger things vol 2 spoilers

35 notes · View notes

key-to-my-heart · 3 years ago

Text

S2 WISHFUL THINKING

hey hi hello! i haven’t really been active on tumblr but i wanted to get back into the swing of being active and posting often. so.

i decided i will take note of some of my predictions, hopes, wishes etc. for Season 2 of Rainbow High!

so i kinda wanna just cover the things we canonically have seen aka specific events and drama that has gotten introduced

- The New Roommates / Series 3 Girls

i feel like we will definitely see more of them within the coming episodes. rainbow high literally advertised the new teams as like… i think the second or third teaser for the new season

it’s interesting to me because. this makes me think of What The Runway Project is? what could it possibly be? i believe i made a post about this in the past but the main theory (and theory i believe the most in) would be a Stage Production of sorts. i mean… it makes sense!

the twins are both Performing Arts focus and are definitely the antags this season. so why wouldn’t they cause trouble in regard to a stage play? plus, bella is back. she’s literally a set designer! we have never seen her do any set designing (other than making a sketch) so it would be fun to see that! if river were to get more focus this season, he would definitely have an outlet to channel his Performing Arts creativity! plus… Daria is a song writer so like. imagine if we were to get music out of that? please. the possibilities are endless.

im also eager to see the series 3 girls dynamics. like are the rest of the girls (gabriella, georgia, emmy and daphne) all roomed together? do they get along? will they all be just as dramatic as stella, sheryl and daria’s dynamic?

but anyway. whatever the drama and the semester project is, the new teammates definitely seem to be playing a crucial role in this season.

- The Twins

i’m actually really eager to see more of them. i feel like not enough people are talking about them? season 2 is actually really interesting so far…. maybe more so than season 1… and i feel like we are going to have to thank the twins for that at some point lol

like. idek what they’re planning on doing but. i’m excited to see what it is! they’ll probably be involved in the semester project or at least causing problems to all of the roommates and teams. they’ll definitely have something going on with bella. and it seems that they have a good bond with karma (after the KWK we got). so maybe they’ll have input in any potential drama with Karma. which leads me to

- Karma VS. Violet

so. this drama has been teased at for like. ever. for what feels like forever.

this moment in Karma’s bio PLUS the commentary about violet from her and the twins in the recent KWK episode. but anyway. i’m actually super interested in whatever this drama could be??? like. why is karma watching.

we know violet adores karma, she really wants to have her in the vi life. so i’m sure she basically looks up to her! but like. will karma actually genuinely be nice with violet? keep a distance? make remarks like she did in her recent vlog? i don’t know. idk what to expect. of course it’ll have to do with vlogging or something.

- Bella

ok so there is a few things to note with bella. i’m still interested in if bella will accept to do an interview with Karma for her vlog? if so, i wonder how that would go. and i wonder how violet would feel about it. like the very last time bella was featured in vi’s vlog was on a bad note (even though they made up) but like. idk AAA

also i’m wondering how bella is gonna handle being back to rainbow high. because so far it seems she’s having trouble fitting in. will the key to her fitting in be Jade? will Jade help her figure everything out? or would it be someone else?

as much as i’d love Jade to be the reason Bella starts to feel more at home, i also love the other idea of Amaya being the reason bella feels comfortable again. Amaya was once the new girl (and of course in an awkward position because she was essentially a replacement for bella’s spot in the runway group) but. she didn’t fit in. she had to find her place at rainbow high… and it took her until the runway show to be able to truly feel comfortable.

and like. i’ve been rooting for bella/amaya dynamic for awhile now. i see a lot of potential in this duo. we know they somewhat have tension. i mean. bella had a really awkward confrontation with amaya and that was rly their first and last conversation. sure they’ve been around each other like in the music video, at the end of s1, and when bella walked into the girls dorm s2ep2 but like. that’s it.

SO ANYWAY. what i’m trying to get at is that these two definitely need to become friends. i mean. they have a LOT in common. i was talking about the new girl situation because i feel like they can relate in that way. they both had an awkward entrance into rainbow high and could bond over that. it took amaya awhile to feel at home at rainbow high… so maybe she could become friends with bella and help her feel at home! they’re both very determined leader types. they’re really passionate and! they have the same friend group! so why not become friends?

- Jade and Bella

of course i will wonder about these two! i have no clue what to expect with them. the fandom and myself are really really really wanting to see these two become a canon sapphic couple. i really want to see this happen! and mga knows this. mga knows we want to see jella happen. i mean, they literally snatched the ship name from us and plastered it into their vlogs. so they KNOW

anyway. these two are literally going through it rn. the way jade’s eyes lit up when she saw bella was back at rh. and now both of them are looking for each other and worried about each other. jade thinking bella is mad at her rn? please. i will sob. they are really holding off this jella reunion but i hope it’s for a good reason. i just want them to talk and have a good reunion… a hug……. happy tears, happy smiles…………..a love confession…

- Amaya

so i don’t really have much to say here but i’m just wondering about amaya this season. she’s definitely been advertised so much to the point that she essentially became like. THE main focus in season 1. this peeved some people but personally i loved amaya being like a sort of main character figure. she didn’t really take attention away from the other characters but also had that energy of being a main character anyway.

my point is, though, idk how she will play out in this season? like is she going to be as much of a main character as the main 6 are…. or will she play a bigger role? i have no clue. it seems bella is going to have a key focus this season, which makes sense, but it still just makes me wonder about amaya’s role this season

- Colin

i just hope this man does not get a development arc. i know some people want him to…. but i just. i don’t. i don’t understand. the point of him existing was to show that cheating is wrong and to display girl power. by teaching that skyler didn’t need a man to prove her worth. that she is her own person. her own strength! i really hope that colin and bella don’t have anything omfg.

- Winter Break

i’m really. REALLY excited for the winter break arc. it’s about time we get to see some backgrounds outside of rainbow high! plus the animated tidbits of ruby, sky, and violet in their wb outfits in the wb commercial was everything.

i’m so excited to see their new hairstyles, to see them with their snow gear and more. omg. of course i think the twins will be involved in this arc someone. krystal briefly mentioned the twins’ family having a ski lodge. and then of course we see sunny with her skis so like. yea!! i just wonder how these episodes would play out. or episode. but anyway like… will they just vibe? or will there be a problem of sorts? if it’s winter break then it probably won’t tie into school or like projects or anything like that

- Kia Hart

i’m actually hoping kia gets some focus this season. like. what is she going to do? is she going to pair another couple together? (if so, please be jella. okay wait seriously what if she is the key to reuniting jade and bella together… anyway) i just hope to see more of her and possibly more of her and krystal together haha. but kia just vibes so far, it would be lovely to get more of her!

- The A’s

so ainsley is finally beginning to get some attention! i really hope we continue to get more of her as well as avery, and aidan of course! we did get a bunch of content of aidan but you can never have enough honestly.

but i just wonder about how the A’s will be this season. like will they do anything significant? are bella and avery going to remain close? what is going on!!!

- The Malibu Line

so we literally know nothing about this except

but i still wonder like. if we will get to see anything about it at any point during the web series. perhaps it would be more of a summer thing. but it definitely means something if Bella is in it! (also i’m just generally excited for her new doll. omfg.)

- The Rock Line

so we also know almost nothing about this except

saw someone discuss that the music being heard during s2ep2 could be in regards to the rock battle. honestly. what if this is some sort of project? battle of bands or something? that would be cool lol. anyway i’m intrigued for this line mainly because of all the clothing leaks we have been getting omg.

- The Slumber Party Line

we have known about this for a little while (with the theory of the baby blue girl being in it) but i’m just curious as to who the characters are and if they will be in the web series at all.

- Jett Dawson

okay so. this is a big one. jett being a collector doll, i feel like she’ll definitely play a crucial role in the series. so like. who will she be to the main characters? it says she’s generally nice. why was she giving that look to the girls after their runway performance? IDK! i have no clue what to expect with her. i feel like the expectations i had for amaya (before we knew anything about her) will be put into jett because. the vibes i got from amaya ever since we just had her doll… i am also kind of getting from jett. so i’m eager!

#rainbow high #rainbowhigh #rainbow high dolls #rh: episode predictions #rh: theories

52 notes · View notes

marvelsdc22 · 4 years ago

Text

The Professor And I Season 2 Christmas Special

Intro: Hello, lovelies!! I hope you guys are having a good day/night and that this week is treating you all well!! Here’s a special one for you guys, this series holds a spot close to my heart, so I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do!!

Note: Y/N is trying hard to get back to life, but after everything that has happened, they find it difficult to do so, it’s a good thing Lena’s around to help them through this difficult time.

Word Count: 1652

Season 1 Christmas Special S1 Season 2

Its been about a month now since the funeral for your father, you were slowly getting used to your new arm that Lena had helped build for you, some days were better than others, you would get irritated and fight with anyone who would try to tell you otherwise, not only were you not able to have much use with your arm, but your best friend was locked away in a place called the D.E.O. where you couldn’t go since you didn’t have the right clearance, but it was the only way for her to learn how to control her newfound powers, having almost killed you and Alex with them when you guys got into it, to say you were stressed was an understatement.

“Babe, I know it’s hard but-“ Lena tried, getting cut off by your groan of frustration as you struggled to move the fingers on your new robotic arm “Don’t act like you know how this feels! I don’t see you trying to learn to use an arm after losing your own!” You snapped, glaring at her and your features softening when you saw her wince at your tone and avert her gaze “I’m sorry” you apologized, knowing your snapping wasn’t helping anything and looking at the robotic arm, trying to move it again but failing, sweat trailing down your face from trying so hard since this required a lot of strenuous activity “It’s okay… Why don’t you take a break?” She suggested, carefully taking the arm off you so you could rest.

After she set it down on the coffee table of your guys shared apartment, she went over to you and gently cupped your cheeks “I love you, I am so proud of you” she said, looking at you and you bit your lip as you reached up with your right hand and rested it on hers “I love you too… I’m sorry you have to go through this” you apologized, knowing this was no easy task for her either “It’s worth it for you… Why don’t you go shower? Your mom is expecting us bright and early in the morning, so you won’t have time in the morning” she said, looking at you and pressing a small kiss to your lips before she pulled back, stopping when you took her hand “Join me?” You asked, just wanting her there with you since you guys had lost a lot of time together this past semester “Of course” she smiled, leading you into the bathroom.

Once your shower was over, the two of you cooked some dinner, you doing what you could with one arm before you guys cuddled up in bed for the night after dinner “I’m glad we got this place” you said, you guys having went through with your plans to move in together at semester break, having found a great place not too far from the school, but far enough to not raise any suspicion “Me too, it’s nice” Lena said, this being the closest she had ever been to someone and reaching over, gently wrapping her arms around you and pulling you to her, smiling when you nuzzled against her chest as you got comfortable and feeling her kiss your head “Get some sleep, it’s going to be a busy day” she said softly, gently rubbing your back as the two of you fell into comfortable silence.

A few hours later, you woke up with a gasp and sat up quickly, running your hands over your now sweaty face and through your hair that was still wet from the shower “Hey hey hey” Lena whispered, having woken up when you jostled the bed, turning on the lamp on her side before she rested her hand on her back “It’s okay, you’re safe, you’re with me” she said softly, hating seeing you like this, you having nightmares almost every night since you saw your father die “It’s my fault, I should’ve gotten there sooner, I should’ve-“ you rambled, starting to hyperventilate until you felt Lena gently grip your wrists before she moved to sit in front of you “It is not your fault, your father knows this” she promised, looking at your tear-stained face as you locked eyes with her, your breathing slowing down as it went back to normal “Your father loved you and he is watching you from wherever he is, he is so damn proud of you and he wouldn’t want you blaming yourself” she said, looking at you and watching as you let out a sob before you hugged her tightly “I miss him” you cried, feeling Lena tighten her grip on you “I know, baby… I know”.

The next morning, Lena drove the two of you to your mother’s house, being sure to get you your favorite Starbucks drink before you both settled in for the two hour drive, her hand never leaving your leg unless she needed to shift the gear, her driving a manual which she had tried to teach you to drive before, but that was on hold for now until you got used to your new arm which you guys had in the back so you could practice, the two of you going to stay at your mother’s for the week “Do you feel warm enough?” She asked as she stopped at a stoplight “Yeah…” You said softly, the closer you got to your mothers, the harder it was to keep your baring, so you tried not to say much.

When you guys got there and your mother opened the door, the two of you stared at one another for a moment before you hugged each other tightly, you trying really hard to be strong for her as you felt your mother let out a sob “It’s okay, he’s in a better place” you whispered, rubbing her back some as you let her cry into your shoulder, pulling back after a moment and giving her the best smile you could muster before she went and hugged Lena “Come on in, it’s too cold to be standing out there!” Your mother said, wiping her tears and giving you guys a smile before she let you both in.

“When do the others arrive?” You asked, knowing you guys would have a full house for the week since your family didn’t want your mother alone at all during these holidays “Your cousins Sarah and Jesse should be here in an hour, the others will arrive tomorrow” she said, looking at you and gesturing for you to go “Go on and get settled in your room, I’ll be in here when you get all settled” she said, giving you guys a smile before you helped Lena carry the bags into your old room “Mommmm” You whined when you saw she had put your old sheets on, the ones with One Direction on them and hearing Lena let out a chuckle “What? It’s cute” she chuckled, kissing your frown before she set the bag in her hands on the bed.

Over the course of the next few days, you guys were busy with getting last minute Christmas shopping done and decorating, to you just trying to use your new arm, the next thing you knew, it was Christmas day and your mom was cooking in the kitchen with your aunt Shelia and your grandma Betty while your younger cousins were running around in the living room, playing with their new toys “Come with me?” Lena asked, taking the coffee mug in your hand and setting it on a nearby table, leading you to the back porch after you pulled your shoes and large coat on since it had snowed overnight “Lena, it’s cold” you whined, following her as she chuckled, just leading you over to the lake right behind the house “This won’t take long, promise” she said, turning to you and giving you a small smile.

You raised an eyebrow when you saw her sudden nervous composure “Okay…” She finally said, clearing her throat as she pulled a small box out of her pocket “Lena-“ It’s not that! Not yet anyway” she assured you, having seen the panic on your face until she opened the box in her hands “This is something before that… A promise ring, I’m promising myself to you… No one has ever made me feel the way you do and if you’ll have me, I want to use this to show my commitment to you” Lena said, knowing that had been the big issue with the two of you over the semester and she wanted to make it known that you were hers and she was yours.

Staring at the ring, you couldn’t help but start to chuckle, making Lena furrow her brow “I’m sorry, I-“ she apologized, stopping when she saw you pull something out of your pocket “Ironic, we had the same idea” you said, struggling for a moment to open the box until it finally opened, a small promise ring inside it, you watching as Lena stared at it before she smiled and took it out of the box “Put it on me?” She asked, handing the ring to you before holding her right hand out and letting you slip it onto her ring finger, before she did the same with yours “No more questioning us… I’m one hundred percent committed to you” she said, resting her forehead on yours as you smiled “As am I” you said, leaning up on your tip toes and kissing her gently “Can we go inside now? My toes are freezing” you said, causing her to laugh before she pocketed both boxes and picked you up bridal style “Of course, as you wish” she said, giving you a smile before carrying you into the house, while this Christmas was sad, Lena always knew how to make you smile and one day, she would be yours… Forever.

Permanent Taglist: @rianncreates / @natasha-danvers / @youngandwildx7 / @stewie-castle / @hopingforbarnes / @xxxtwilightaxelxxx

Supergirl Taglist: @aznblossom / @stop-drop-and-drumroll / @worlds-in-words / @wlw-in-space

Lena Taglist: @life2-live / @ianarec / @thelonewriter247 / @kalistory-blog

The Professor And I Taglist: @youlookterribleilookawesome / @ironsnowstorm / @rebornpoet / @scottishgirl1998 / @lezzzbehonesthere

End Note: I hope you guys enjoyed it!! If you would like to be added to a Taglist, shoot me a DM or an Ask!! Have a great holiday week and have a good day/night!!

Requests Open

#lena luthor x reader #lena luthor x gn!reader #professor!lena luthor x student!reader #lena x reader #lena luthor imagine #dc x reader #dc #The Professor And I

65 notes · View notes

shy-violet-soul · 4 years ago

Text

To Be Your Hero

Featuring: Henry Cavill x you, Kal Summary: He plays the hero, running to the rescue on the big screen & TV. But what happens when you need a hero? Warnings: discussion of injuries, emergency services, injured ready, angst, but lots of TLC fluff. Word Count: 3,300-ish

A/N: Being a perpetually single woman, I’ve always had to take care of myself. It often doesn’t even occur to me to ask for help, because I’m so used to there not being any help. Recently, my own back injury left me helpless, & I was so grateful for the help that answered my call. It was a learning opportunity for me - those that came to my aid were so happy to serve me in my time of need. It was a gift for them to give the help, nearly as much as it was for me to receive it. And while this fic does take a romantic perspective, I imagine that even the little bit of public compassion & kindness the world sees of Henry Cavill is just a tip of the iceberg to how he would be to someone in need.

A/N 2: To the most precious and divine @thesassywallflower - bless you for helping me turn garbage into something palatable. All the hugs!!!

(photo from ScreenGeek)

The chill in the air nipped pleasantly at his nose and cheeks as Henry slowed his pace down to a brisk cool-down walk. He studied the Albert Memorial as he breathed deep, enjoying the burn in the bottom of his lungs. Maybe he’d stop at Pret a Manger, grab you both a morning treat. He smiled, thinking of the almond croissant you’d recently rhapsodized over. The smile drooped when he thought of you as he’d left you this morning. A menagerie of OTC and prescription painkillers, Biofreeze pain gel, and a half-empty bottle of water congregated on your nightstand. Saggy, sad room-temperature cold packs lined up painstakingly between your body pillow and your back. Even in sleep, pain still pulled a line between your brows. He hadn’t needed to feel your restlessness to know your sleep wasn’t peaceful; the careful way you held yourself, the tiny winces spoke your discomfort plain enough.

Suddenly, thinking of your smile made stopping for an almond croissant very important.

Henry adjusted his mask as he approached A-315, glancing at his watch to estimate the potential line waiting for him. When his phone rang, Henry grinned when he saw your name on the screen.

“Good morning, love! How’d you sleep?”

“Hen-,” Your broken voice gave him pause.

“Darling? What is it?”

“Henry, I gotta call Emergency Services.”

His heart thumped hard, and Henry stepped to one side of the path. “What’s going on? What’s happened?”

Through the line, he could hear your breath rasping in fast. Too fast.

“My back. I called the doctor. They said...call 999. I gotta-” With a sob, you hung up, and fear clenched his belly, prodding him to turn and sprint hard towards home.

The meters and minutes stretched interminably before Henry burst in, vaguely aware of the ambulance out front. As he moved through the hall, calling your name, a chorus of voices rang out to him. Kal, his growls and whines all worried warnings. Strangers, their words conciliatory and urgent. And yours - an exhausted tangle of broken reassurances to Kal and pleas for help.

You lay on the couch, a limp sprawl but for the white-knuckled clutch of your hands - one on the cushion beneath you, one on the thick fur of Kal. Two paramedics, bags and cases open and ready, stood with hands outstretched, trying to placate his blessed boy. Kal, ever the valiant protector, was beside himself. Kal barked his alarm, nosing whimpers against your face as he both tried to guard you and comfort you.

“Kal! Place!” The stern, sharp order drew more whines, the dog weaving between Henry’s side and yours before he slunk to his bed. Relieved his master was home to take care of this calamity, the loyal friend still throatily making his unhappiness known as Henry rushed to your side.

“Darling, I’m here!” As he watched, agony ravaged you. Sweat shone in cold dark rings in her hair and collar. Fight and fatigue warred in the clutching grasp of your hand on his, tightening then trembling loose. The oxygen in your system tumbled from you in a chapped-lips, grey-skinned free fall.

“Sir, if you’d just step over here.” Henry heard one of them say. The next five minutes were a blur. As if from a distance, he watched while they tried and failed on one IV. Heard their calm, clinical observations about ‘pulse ox’ and ‘PVCs’. The only thing in sharp, acute focus? Your breathless cries and vacant eyes that he knew would be with him forever.

He’d never felt more powerless in his life.

This wasn’t learning to sword fight or computer construction. This was his love, fighting an unseen enemy, an enemy he had no power to vanquish. He’d never really wished to be an actual superhero...until now. Because now, all he could do was watch as you fought this alone.

**********************************

Channeling his inner Witcher, Henry stealthily arranged the tray, then arranged it again before carrying it on silent feet to the lounge. Kal’s tail greeted him with awkward sweeps from his chosen spot. The very moment Henry had stood from ensconcing you on the couch, Kal had jumped up and oh, so carefully cuddled up behind your bent knees. No amount of treat promising had coaxed him from his guard duty. Even with the years of friendship between man and beast, Henry had been surprised and amused at how quickly Kal had switched loyalties. He’d been gentle, mindful and attentive since you’d walked in the door. Once he had carefully wedged himself between your legs and the back of the couch, the only part of his huge floofy self he’d moved was his ears.

Comically, now he tried to wag his tail, the curled end flicking only inches as his ears swiveled in all directions. Henry felt more than heard the whine the faithful friend offered him.

“Shhhh!,” he hissed, pausing with his carefully set tray as his gaze darted between your face and Kal’s. Kal licked his chops in understanding and softly nestled his chin deeper into your waist. “Good boy,” Henry whispered his praise. As he bent forward to place the tray, a waiting spoon slid and tinkled sharply against the china saucer, the sound like a gunshot to his ears. Again, he froze - you sighed faintly, shoulder shrugging a bit, but otherwise slept on.

Moving with all the slow precision of diffusing a Mission: Impossible bomb, Henry eased the tray to the table he’d already moved to your side, allowing himself to relax a bit with that job done. Still not content, he drew the drapes to dampen both light and sound from outside before he fussed to ensure your toes were tucked firmly beneath your favorite blanket.

Finally, Henry let himself take a deep breath as he beheld his handiwork. A pot of your favorite tea, your pain prescription, a plate of your favorite biscuits, and a flower he’d shameless yanked right from his neighbor’s front garden rested on the tray. The light shone soft and silvered from the London grey afternoon, shrouding you in comfortable shadows. He’d swaddled you in pillows and blankets enough to bedeck a harem, as you’d sleepily chuckled at him as he had tucked you in. At this moment, you were pain free and at rest, & Henry couldn’t help the gladness that filled him. In that moment, you could both enjoy peace.

Until his mobile rang, the Royal Marines’ “Reveillie” bugling loud enough to raise the dead.

Niki Cavill’s name glowed happily up at him as Henry near levitated from his seat. Tapping madly to decline the call, Henry’s forceful efforts succeeded in freezing the screen but did nothing for the ringing. A movement from you caught his eye, and Henry didn’t hesitate. He turned and launched the offending device straight down the hall and out of earshot, praying that expensive case did its job when he heard it clatter against the floor.

“Did you just yeet your phone?”

Henry turned so quickly, his knee popped.

“Hello,” he crooned, kneeling beside you. He couldn’t stop the smile that tugged a dimple into view as he took in your sleepy, slightly befuddled expression. “How are you feeling?”

Now, your own smile curved into view.

“I don’t hurt, Henry. I don’t hurt. I can hardly believe it!”

He well could believe it. Dr. Bolton, your spine surgeon at the Schoen clinic, had briskly informed him that your S1 disc had herniated ‘good & proper’, prompting the removal of ‘four large chunks’. Discussion went on about your abused sciatic nerve and possible long-lasting symptoms, but the overall message was clear. You’d been in terrible agony, recovery would be slow, but the successful surgery granted you a new lease on life.

Already, you were trying your pain-free wings. He watched while you cooed to Kal as you rubbed his ears, your smile widening with the newly easy flex of your foot back and forth. A wave of love swept up from his belly into his chest, threatening to squeeze his throat shut as he took in your happiness. Leaning forward, he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“I’m so glad, love. You had me worried. Now,” he brisked out, turning to his happily situated tray, “you’ve had nothing since those awful crackers they gave you in recovery. It’s high time you ate a bite. I’ve got your favorites here,” he caught your attention to the tray. “Or, if you think you can manage it, I can put together a proper tea for you.”

The scent of bergamot and lavender had you humming as you dug an elbow into the couch, struggling to a sitting position.

“Oh, Henry! You got me more Victoria Grey tea!”

Henry barely heard you as he tutted chidingly at your movements.

“Don’t move, you’ve only just had surgery! I’ll pour for you.”

Your side eye was softened by your smile as you gingerly scooted to sit up.

“I can’t drink it lying down,” you drolled as you filched a biscuit from the pile. “You look tired, sweetheart.”

It was his turn to side eye you.

“You, madam, are not to worry about me.” With proud aplomb, he handed you a steaming cup, perfectly sweetened and creamed.

“Henry, you don’t need to coddle me. Now, go get the phone you yeeted, come sit here with me and Kal, and we’ll watch some Hulu. One of my tumblr friends told me about an American show I, apparently, have foolishly missed for the last 30 years. Have you ever heard of ‘The Golden Girls’?”

****************

After pacifying Henry with two cups of tea drunk and refusing the fifth biscuit he tried to cram down your throat, you had drifted back to sleep listening to his chuckles as Sophia intoned ‘Picture it - Sicily…’. But those two cups, topping off the IV fluids they’d given you in the hospital, now strained your bladder far past the point of comfort.

Lifting your head, you took in Kal snoring contentedly from his spot behind your legs, his head tucked over your side. Henry sat in the corner, cradling your top leg across his lap. His head lolled back against the couch, lips parted in sleep. Getting free of these two would be a chore. Prodded into action by sloshing liters of fluids, you slowly, carefully eased your leg up and off Henry. Then, you hit Kal’s weak spot - scritches right behind his ear. With a groan, he moved to wedge his snout between your back and the back of the couch...and kept on snoring.

Mission accomplished.

Delight stretched your smile wide, pinching unnoticed into your cheeks as you basked in the ease of standing up straight. You took care of business, humming under your breath as you washed your hands.

“What are you doing?!”

The demand, barked in a deep, drowsy gravel, echoed beautifully in the tiled space. You were convinced you levitated clear off the floor. Two sleepy bears stood in the doorway, and if dogs could scowl, you were pretty sure Kal’s matched his master’s. Before you could stammer out a reply, Henry swept you into his arms, striding back to the lounge.

“What - my hands are still - Henry, put me down!” you spluttered, frowning at the dark drabbles your dripping hands left on his shirt.

“You’re supposed to be resting,” he groused as he bent to deposit you back on the couch, Kal clicking his way behind.

“Henry, I had outpatient surgery, not brain surgery.”

Dark brows drew concerned lines deep into his forehead as Henry carefully tucked you back into your blanket.

“I’ll get you another cold pack.” You kept your good natured sigh silent as you sent a chagrined smile after him.

“They told me to start moving about to help my recovery,” you called out above the sound of the refrigerator doors.

“Move about tomorrow,” he shot back. Before you could think up an answer, Kal boofed his own reply as he nosed worriedly at your face. In that deep voice you loved, Henry urged Kal out of his way as he gently slid the ice pack into place over your bandage. You watched as a corner of his mouth tilted in a barely-there grin as he finished fussing and fretting, and you smiled into the kiss he dropped on your lips.

Grunting as he sat on the floor beside you, Henry snagged the remote and leaned to steal another kiss from you.

“Now, you fell asleep before the funniest one so far. It’s titled ‘Break In’, and Blanche becomes very worried about a large vase and her mama’s jewels,” he explained as he cued up Hulu. Diverted, you didn’t think about his coddling again.

********

Three and a half days later, you were ready to coddle him. Right over a cliff. The man wouldn’t let you do anything! If you even looked like you were thinking about picking up a pillow - a pillow, for goodness sake - Henry was there doing it for you.

Admittedly, the first two days you were a bit off your pins. The anesthesia and pain meds packed a wallop, leaving you lethargic and fuzzy. And you weren’t about to complain about the sheer luxuriousness of having someone wash your hair. Rapture! For all you loved Henry’s adoring attention, the man was starting to look a bit haggard. Restless from the drugs leaving and entering your system, your sleep was fitful - and Henry was awake more often than not when you opened your eyes. You urged him to let you do for yourself as your energy and strength slowly returned.

But the Cavill generosity, and Henry’s own innate goodness, had him running for you morning, noon, and night. He plumped pillows, arranged flowers, cooked up tempting treats, massaged your feet, and ordered the silkiest, comfiest pajamas you’d ever worn. He was every person’s romantic fantasy of a loving, dedicated hero.

And he was driving you bonkers.

When you stood up from the couch and paused, letting your equilibrium catch up with you, you caught Henry studying you seriously.

“What do you need, love?”

“Bathroom,” you mumbled around a yawn, snagging your water glass to refill on your way back. “Refill.”

“You’ve been up and about quite a bit today,” he observed, brow lined with concern. “How’s your pain?”

With an effort, you stopped yourself from rolling your eyes. Sort of.

“Henry, my pain is well managed. Remember, I stopped taking the hydrocodone last night. I’m not due for any paracetamol for another hour. I’m fine.”

You swore you could literally see his thoughts racing back and forth in his mind.

“Do you want me to carry you?”

This time, you did roll your eyes. “No, Henry! I don’t need you to carry me to the loo.”

Thwarted servitude practically vibrated off the man.

“I’ll refill your water for you,” he stated, getting to his feet.

Whether it was the waning and waxing of pharmaceutical chemistry, post-surgical fatigue, the ever-increasing joy at your lack of pain, or a combination thereof - you couldn’t say. You snapped, pointing an imperious finger at him.

“Freeze, Cavill!” He blinked his befuddlement at your order, stuck halfway from rising off his chair.

“Wha...why? I was just going to get you some fresh water!”

“And I said that I will get it!”

“But, I only-”

“EH!” you cut him off, wagging your finger at him.

“If you just let-”

“NUH-UH!” Another jab in his direction.

“I was just going-”

“NUH-UH-UH!!!” Each syllable of your refusal was punctuated by a forceful stab of your finger at your beloved. Stymied, frustrated, Henry flopped down in his chair, arms flailing with exasperation. His genuine confusion sent your head thunking to the wall behind you as you prayed for patience.

“Henry. I love you. Truly, deeply, madly. But lately, you’ve been hovering so much you’re really strengthening the ‘madly’ part of it because you’re about to drive me out of my skull.”

Henry shot to his feet, honest hurt creasing lines into his forehead. “I’m not hovering, I’m helping! There’s a difference!”

“And I’ve already told you - outpatient surgery, not brain surgery! I was under for 45 minutes, they tweezed out the broken bits, and I walked half a dozen steps from the wheelchair to the car an hour later. And you literally just offered to carry me to the bathroom!” Your voice rose until you were nearly shouting. Henry turned half away from you, dragging his hands through his hair in frustration.

“You don’t understand,” he growled out. Your own frustration climbing, you flung your arms out in a questioning gesture.

“What? What do I not understand?”

The man rounded on you, stepping forward to yell in your face.

“I couldn’t do anything!”

Nonplussed, you blinked.

“Henry, you’ve been doing everything since I got ho-”

“Not now - then!” He turned back away from you, shoulders hunched as he fisted his hair for a moment. “When you called 999. You were in terrible pain, crying out because of it, and I couldn’t do a damn thing to help you!”

Silence fell between you like a wall as his truth crashed over you. Your memories of that morning were, understandably hazy. You clearly remember the pain overtaking every molecule of your body - your vision blurry and grey at the edges, unable to move without more agony, sweating like it was your job. You remember feeling both grateful and worried for poor Kal - worried for hurting him with how hard you gripped his fur, grateful for your loyal friend. You remember being honestly concerned that you were dying, and trying to pray.

But above all else, you remember the pure, unadulterated, consuming sense of relief when you heard Henry’s voice, felt his hand on your cheek.

Shame bloomed hot beneath your skin - you’d not given any thought to what Henry must have felt during those awful moments. So focused on surviving, then on healing, you’d felt gratitude for his help and care, sure. But not thinking that he’d had to watch your pain, unable to help you.

Your Superman, powerless to help the one he loved.

Tiptoeing forward, you wrapped your arms around him, resting your forehead against his broad back.

“Henry, I’m sorry. I didn’t even think about that.”

You rose and fell with him as he took a deep breath, muscles shifting beneath you. Clasping your hands in his, he lifted them as he pressed a kiss to each, wrapping them in his own against his heart.

“No, I’m sorry. I knew in my head I was overdoing it, but I just couldn’t bear to see you hurting again. Anymore.” He turned in your embrace, cupping your cheeks in his warm hands. Deep blue eyes poured a wealth of love and concern straight into your heart as he frowned beseechingly at you. “I would do anything for you, my love.”

Eyes prickling with emotion, your smile trembled a bit when you offered it, reaching up to kiss him tenderly before you brushed a wayward curl off his forehead.

“Can I go to the bathroom by myself?”

Henry snorted right into your face, hugging you close and smacking a kiss under your jaw, just where he knew you loved it.

“Your request is granted, my lady. Allow me, your humble servant, to fetch you refreshment whilst you pee?”

You cackled in reply, shoving your glass into his hand.

“Thank you, my lord. I’m off to the royal chamber pot.” Tugging his face down to your level, you rubbed your nose against his. “Mayhap, upon my return, I’ll bestow a favor upon thee.”

His cheeky growl made you laugh as he nudged you down the hall.

“Hurry up, then! I’m in dire need of all the favors!”

Your chuckles wouldn’t be stopped as you headed to your destination, especially when Kal zoomy-ed past you in all his floofy glory.

Recovery might be slow, but you knew you were lucky - not everyone had a hero of their own to help them.

#henry cavill #Henry Cavill rpf #Henry Cavill x you #Henry Cavill x reader #henry cavill imagine #henry cavill fanfiction #To Be Your Hero #shy vy writes

36 notes · View notes

goosewithasaxophone · 4 years ago

Text

Attack On Titan seasons 3+4 Spoilers (and 1 if you haven’t started it or gotten halfway thru it yet)

EVERYONE LISTEN UP OR DONT IDC BUT I JUST FINISHED EPISODE 8 OF AOT AND I HAVE AN IRRELEVANT HEADCANON THAT HELPS ME FALL ASLEEP AT NIGHT

Levi says to the kids (i guess they’re not kids anymore 😭😭😭😭) “Don’t die on me” and i just AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA it got me thinking how fuckin TIRED THIS POOR MAN IS of LOSING HIS FRIENDS

he lost his mom as a young child, his squad in s1, Kenny, Erwin and almost Hange (TOO CLOSE MOM TOO CLOSE) in s3, now Sasha in s4 ??? he needs a BREAK !!!!!!!!!!!!

so here’s my headcanon that i think about nonstop ☺️☺️

Levi is alone in his office after they return from the fight between Eren and the other titans. Sasha is put to rest with her things gathered and folded nicely on Levi’s desk to return to her family (are they alive ?? whatever i don’t remember).

He’s sitting at his desk writing a letter to go with Sasha’s things when they’re given back to whomever. Hange walks in, she’s exhausted. They both are. She stands in his doorway watching him. He tells her to come in, his tone gruff and assertive and his voice low and tired. His eyes are dark, even under the light of the lantern on his desk, shedding a low warm glow around the little room.

Hange steps closer and stands behind him where he sits, reading over his shoulder at the letter he’s writing. Beside it, she sees another letter, in fact, it’s a small pile of letters. Each paper has his scribbly writing inked and smudged and aged. She glided her fingers across the sides of the top page in the pile, trying to read them under the dull light. She sees the name “Erwin Smith” appear several times in several variances throughout the letter. Her heart twinges at the heartfelt words in the letter. Underneath that one she searches for other names in the other letters. She sees Petra, Oluo, Eld, and Gunther throughout the other pages.

By the time she finishes reading final letter in the pile she snaps back into the moment and notices Levi writing more aggressively on Sasha’s letter. His pen is taking the pressure from his hands and almost tearing through the paper. Hange has to place her hand on his wrist before he goes too far. He resists and tears a hole in the paper.

“Fuck,” he curses aggressively under his breath. Hange is about to say something, she opens her mouth to try to say something, anything that will reassure Levi that the tear in the page is nothing to fret, he can write another copy. But she knows she can’t say that because his words are authentic and to write another copy would be replicating a feeling already felt. That’s dwelling in the past and Levi doesn’t do that.

So she says nothing, and instead places her hand on his back. If she presses her palm flat against him she can feel his breath grow shallow and rigid. His breathing becomes audible.

Levi does not show emotion. He stares straight ahead and speaks monotonously no matter the situation. He uses his actions as expression and displays loyalty through his behavior.

Unless he’s alone with Hange.

Moments pass and Hange thinks he’s pulled himself together, so she takes a step back. Just as her fingertips lift from the man’s back he slams his fist on the desk and drops his face into his hands. Hange swoops down and throws herself over him like a protective blanket. She snakes her arms around him as far as they’ll go and squeezes tightly.

Levi curls forward from within her embrace and continues to try to control his breathing. He’s failing, they’re both aware, and neither say a word. It’s not until Hange realizes he isn’t going to immediately pull himself together that she takes another action. Shuffling her feet until she’s directly in front of him she brings her arms underneath his and raises him so he’s standing. She can hold him much closer this way.

“Fucking shit,” he sobs. Despite the lack of context Hange knows exactly what he’s talking about. It translated to “Why do I keep losing people?” She says the only thing she can think to say in the moment.

“Not me,” she whispers, feeling her own tears begin to sting her eyes. “Never me.”

“You were too close,” he mumbles. “Don’t ever fucking pull some shit like that again, he growled, remembering back to the sight of her being slammed against the trees, the sound of her voice shouting in pain as she hit the hard surfaces on her way down after her gear failed to suspend her. “That was too fucking close.”

Hange chuckles weakly. “I’ll do my best.”

“No you won’t. Your wreckless ass can’t stand not being at the center of danger.”

“What do you expect, that’s how we learn about things. From the center of them.”

“You’re fucking stupid.”

“I know.”

He brings his arms around her waist and pulls tightly. She knows he doesn’t mean the things he says. She knows he doesn’t think she’s intellectually stupid. He just doesn’t want to lose her too.

“You’re not gonna lose me, but I can’t lose you either, okay?” she said, trying to take a more encouraging turn. “I can’t handle those stupid kids on my own. Someone’s gotta be around to kick the shit outta them and keep ‘em in line, okay?” He nods against her chest and keeps his face buried in her.

It’s late evenings like these, when they return from some sort of mission, after Levi has changed out of his bloodstained clothes and Hange has restored her messy ponytail and everyone else has settled in for a long awaited rest, that Levi finds himself emotionally more vulnerable. It’s late evenings like these that when Hange is around and they’re alone, he can let himself be vulnerable. She’s his closest remaining partner.

It’s the pile of letters on his desk, never sent out, only ever growing with every additional squad member’s death, that Hange sees Levi’s true colors in. He’s not the cold, distant, abusive caption that everyone fears to anger lest they experience his wrath. He’s the damaged, healing, fragile captain that is so goddamn determined to keep his squads alive because every single time a member dies, another small piece of him dies with them. When the kids came into the picture he had never felt a greater weight on his shoulders. Every boy containing Farlan’s eyes and every girl containing Isabel’s, though no one saw it but him. He had to keep these stupid, wreckless, impulsive kids alive, because if he didn’t, who would?

But now the kids weren’t kids anymore. They were growing up. They were maturing. They were seeing things that toughened their skin and their hearts. They were taking control of their lives and realizing the real important things in life.

Levi was glad he could see them grow up and become wreckless adults instead of their old wreckless selves. But it also scared him, because he used to be that fresh new wreckless adult. And now he was the only one left. Him and Hange.

And that’s why he puts up an emotionless front. Because he and Hange are the last two left. The kids may think they are on their own, but Levi keeps an eye out. He watches and observes and takes pride in their enthusiasm on the good days and stays quietly sympathetic in the defeated hope on the bad ones. He’s watching because he cares so much. And that is what makes him so afraid.

Anyway that took me a half hour to type out because the more i thought about it while writing it the more developed it got. So there’s my big detailed headcanon, probably some misinformation in there but that’s because i don’t always understand what’s going on in the show and i’m far too behind to start the manga now. hope y’all enjoy and can suffer through the rest of the season along with me <3

25 notes · View notes