#MUCH LOVE GRACE I HOPE UR DOING WELL ❤️❤️❤️

[icyfox17]

HELLO MY FRENNNNNN

HOW HAVE YOU BEEN LATELY?!!

Annnnd what are some songs you’ve been listening to/looping as of late? I’ve been in a very music-y mood :)

I just reblogged a heck ton of crime boys posts and I am feeling Good 👍

WHY IS THIS HANGING OUT IN FOXIE'S INBOX NIGHT /POS

This is actually a great distraction . I have my wisdom teeth tomorrow and i am Terrified

IVE BEEN OKAY i went out to the beach today THAT WAS NOICEEE it was a lot cooler today than normal so i finally got to wear my jean jacket again :D happ happ

OH THANK YOU FOR ASKING WHAT SONGS IM LOOPING I HAVE BEEN LISTENING TO EMBARASSINGLY ENOUGH BY BOYSCOTT NONSTOP AND I AM SO OBSESSED I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT GRACIE OMFG

Lusitania by Andrew Bird is another super soft song ive been vibing to lots :D

My best friend tommie just reccd me Oliver James by Fleet Foxes AND ITS GORGEOUS HOLYSHIT i think youd love it gracie :0

Three White Horses by Andrew Bird gives me cwilbur vibes a bit and or cphil

Eight by Andrew Bird IS SOOO COOLLL BAKRBSJSBFKNRK

As u can tell ive been listening a lot of him lately . In my defense i just saw the concert AND IT WAS SO FUCKING COOL OHKGKDUFGOFK i love andrew bird SO MUCH

YOOO BASEDDDD CRIMBOIS FTW I JUST STARTED BINGING A NEW HERO AU TODAY AND OHMYFCUKINGOFD IT WAS SO GOOD ITS SO GOOD ITS 200K IT IS JUST GOING TO BE THE ONLY THING IN MY LIFE FOR THE NEXT WEEK EHEHEE I LVOE THE WILBUR IN IT SO MUCH TOOO OHKYGOSH HE IS KY FAV EVER SOBS

[wheeboo]

big spoon, little spoon | boo seungkwan

SYNOPSIS. in which ask your boyfriend if he wants to be big spoon or little spoon. PAIRING. boo seungkwan x gn!reader GENRE. fluff, established relationship WARNINGS. kissing (in the dark lmao), one curse word, terms of endearment, just boo being rlly affectionate :< WORD COUNT. 1.2k

requested from anon: congrats on 2k lovely!!! ❤️❤️❤️ for ur event may i please req seungkwan + #6 list one? thank u ahhhhh and congrats again - #6: "I don't think I have ever felt safer than in your arms."

notes: thank u my love !! i hope u enjoy <3 i had too much fun writing this pls 😭😭

join the 2k celebration!

"Okay, so big spoon or little spoon tonight?"

Seungkwan just freezes from where he stood in the bathroom doorway, toothbrush still dangling at his lips with bits of foam at the corners of his mouth. You're literally staring at him like you're waiting for him to answer and that it wasn't actually a rhetorical question.

"Are you asking me𑁋okay, wait." He marches back into the bathroom to hastily spit and rinse out his mouth, before coming back out with determination in his step. "Are you asking me if I want to be big spoon or little spoon?"

There's a playful lift to your lips as you sit down on the edge of his bed, and Seungkwan can very much see that slight mischievous look to your features. He can already feel the heat of the moment shoot up towards his ears, and he prays that the room is dark enough to hide it.

"Yeah, I am. Since, you know, we always sorta switch around every day," You say, nodding with a teasing grin. "And, well... I'm being considerate, as your partner and all. I gotta know all your preferences..."

God, Seungkwan feels like he's sinking into quicksand at his feet. Are you really at his place every day? He hardly ever thought about how often you were here, like how these nightly rituals had practically become routine now. He swears his heart does a little happy flip-flop at the thought.

It all started with movie night dates that bled into you two eating breakfast together, dinner dates that turned into you helping wash dishes at three in the morning, and then that particular comfortable silence that settled completely at this point. Every day, there always seems to be another reason for you to stay a little longer, another excuse to linger until the streetlights cast an orange glow through his curtains.

And Seungkwan knows he won't ever get tired of it𑁋he won't ever get tired of having you around. Not now. Not anytime soon. Not ever.

He runs a hand through his hair, feeling whatever embarrassment he had in his chest start to dissipate and replaced by a rush of warmth.

"Okay, well, as your very considerate and caring boyfriend..." He crosses his arms together. "what do you prefer?"

You purse your lips together, as if deep in thought. You didn't mind being either little or big spoon, but the thought of Seungkwan having his arms around you right now𑁋if you could describe it𑁋felt like being wrapped by a warm cloud, a feeling of pure, weightless security that chases away all possible worries.

But it isn't just about the comfort, although it's certainly a big part of it. It was the feeling of being safe and cherished, completely enveloped in his embrace. It was the feeling of home.

A slow smile graces across your face.

"I'll take little spoon," You answer gleefully, already crawling more onto his bed and tucking yourself under the covers with a little wiggle. Whatever façade Seungkwan had been putting up crumbles completely at the sight. A blush creeps up his neck, barely visible in the dim light, but his smile widens.

He chuckles softly as he joins you on the bed, slipping under the covers beside you. After flicking the lampshade off, he carefully maneuvers himself right beside you until he feels your warmth hit his skin. Then he slowly circles his arms around your waist and pulls you closer to his body, with your back meeting his chest. A low, contented hum leaves his lips as he simply holds you.

You wriggle in slightly, and he adjusts his hold, letting an arm curve over your stomach and the other one under your body to pull you even closer, fingers momentarily brushing against the hem of your shirt. You feel your legs entangle together under the blanket, and you swear the world gets smaller, quieter.

Seungkwan thinks you fit perfectly in his arms; it's like you've always belonged there.

"Comfortable?" he asks, voice muffled against you.

Your chest rises up and down with a soft sigh. "Mhm..."

The moments that pass are purely silence as he continues to hold you. You could probably fall asleep at this second, yet you feel the way Seungkwan's hand drifts lower from your waist, tracing gentle circles on the fabric of your shirt above your stomach. It's light, just barely there, but it sends a shiver down your spine nonetheless.

And then you feel him moving around behind you, breath tickling your skin, before his lips press a brief, tender kiss to the nape of your neck.

Maybe you can sense the small smile to his face right afterwards, too.

"You're so soft," he mutters, but there's a bit of tentativeness to his tone.

Your heart squeezes tightly in your chest. "I𑁋Aren't we supposed to be trying to sleep?"

"Sorry," Seungkwan apologises, but you can still hear the smile in his voice. He presses another gentle kiss to your neck, then draws back, his hold on you tightening ever so slightly. "Just like holding you like this."

The giggle that leaves you is shaky, nervous, as if there's a small, timid butterfly trapped in your ribcage struggling to take flight. He can probably hear the way your heart is pounding like a damn drum right now, but he doesn't comment on it. Thank goodness.

A thought crosses your mind, and it takes you a minute to cave into flipping yourself over to face him. A groan escapes him from the sudden change in position, but he quickly settles. The two of you can't really see each other that well since the room was basically suspended in darkness, but you can clearly feel his presence beside you, all comforting and familiar.

"I like being held by you too," You confess quietly, each syllable laced with your own hesitancy. "I... I don't think I have ever felt safer than in your arms, to be honest."

The sound of Seungkwan's breath hitching echoes throughout the room. Are the walls closing in? He's not hallucinating or imagining any of this, right? He wishes he could pinch himself, but he's busy holding you, and you're the only thought filling his mind right now.

He leans in closer, ever so slowly. He can see the faint outline of your face thanks to the sliver of moonlight cutting through the curtains.

But just as his lips are about to meet yours, you feel a sudden contact at the tip of your nose. You flinch a little, scrunching your nose up for a second, and Seungkwan pulls back immediately with a gasp.

"Oh my go𑁋did I just𑁋" He stammers frantically, cheeks heating up with embarrassment. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, uh..."

"Baby," You call out affirmingly, aimlessly bringing a hand up to cup his face through the darkness. Then you lean in to press a kiss to his lips, or specifically... the corner of his mouth. Close enough, anyway. "There we go."

Seungkwan just blinks, eyelashes batting furiously as he feels you shrink back into his hold. This time, you place your head at the crook of his neck, breathing fanning against his skin and making him shiver in your hold, even though he's supposed to be the big spoon.

"Let's go to sleep," You murmur lowly, and if he wasn't used to how pretty your voice sounds when you're tired by now, he should really get his shit together.

And so, Seungkwan just secures his hold around you, but not before mouthing a set of three words that he knows you can't see in the darkness, but hopes you can feel in his embrace.

taglist (open) ʚɞ @enhazen @haowrld @icyminghao @slytherinshua @jeonride @lockburn-castle @vrnism @weird-bookworm @mhlsymlysn @ryuwonieebae @yeonjuns-redhair @wonwooz1 @woohaeyo @mark-geolli @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @aaniag @wootify @carlesscat-thinklogic23 @phenomenalgirl9 @roziesmei @mirxzii @bookyeom @parkjennykim @melodicrabbit @bewoyewo @honglynights @bananabubble @treehouse-mouse @tanya596carat @starshuas @etherealyoungk

[whore-era]

collage!ellie x reader hcs? <3

a/n: im gonna assume u meant college!ellie so HERE IT GOES just for you anon friend <3 sorry for how short it is kfkdkkd

tlou 2 university: college!ellie x reader headcanons <3 18+

i have a feeling ellie is either a biology major, engineering major, or a physics/astrophysics major (cuz our girl loooves space), meaning she's extremely intelligent and does very well in class!! she's always answering the professor's questions, taking notes, paying attention. when you struggle with any science/math related subjects, she's ALWAYS willing to tutor you. but, this doesn't mean she's just gonna give you the answers, she's gonna make sure you actually learn and study, even using any means possible — like having you strip off a piece of clothing every time you get an answer wrong and making it a fun time for the both of you.

when you have important projects/papers/quizzes/exams to do that day, she'll make sure to send an encouraging message. don't get me wrong, she always does, but on especially important days like these, she'll always make sure to send an extra special one <3 'good morning baby! you're gonna fucking KILL this chemistry exam babe! you worked your ass off and you're gonna do amazing and get the highest score ❤️ i love you my smart girl let me know what you get when you're done' 'ty els <3 i love you most babe ! i'm abt to start talk to u laterrrr 🏃🏻‍♀️'

ellie will always fulfill her girlfriend duties and walk you to and pick you from classes! even tho she's always a tiny bit late because your class was all the way across campus from hers, but she wants to make sure you're protected and safe so she doesn't care either way! and she'll always carry your books for you, making sure you don't strain or 'hurt' yourself (her words not yours). "els, i have two, capable working arms!!" you whine, as she takes the textbook off your hands, "and so? what if you get a muscle spasm? or you sprain your hand?" she retorts, "by a two pound book?" ellie shrugs, "the possibility is never zero, babe."

when ellie has a project or an essay to work on, it'll be a little difficult to reach her as she gets in the zone when she's working. you'll probably send her some texts throughout the day to check in on her, but as the day progresses you'll find yourself worrying and thinking about stopping by her dorm with dinner because you already know she hadn't ate all day from being cooped up in her room typing away:

you - 9:30 am: els! just got out of class!! gnna go get some lunch w jesse :) hope ur doin okay <3

you - 11:45 am: miss u babe hope ur work is coming along great !!!

you - 2:21 pm: havent heard from u......kinda worried....hope u have been eating n staying hydrated missy >:(

you - 5:56 pm: ok i'm On my way! to ur dorm rn w/ dinner i already know u haven't ate yet n ur gonna feel my wrath

you - 5:56 pm: ignore that extremely enthusiastic On my way! it autocorrected im still mad at u

hearing the booming pounding on her door, ellie takes off her earbuds and walks to the door, opening it. to her surprise, you're standing there, take-out in hand, and a grumpy expression gracing your face. "do you know what time it is? have you even ate yet, ellie williams-miller?" ellie grimaces at the sound of her full, government name leaving your lips. "i'm so sorry, babe. i was working all day, i didn't even realize how much time had passed 'til you showed up," ellie mutters, her stomach grumbling on cue. you hand her the take-out from her favorite spot on campus, and she graciously takes it from your hands. "you better be thankful you have a very caring and worrisome girlfriend, els," you say, "i really missed you today." a smile curls on ellie's lips, "i know, baby. here, let me take a little break from my paper, and i'll make it up to you, yeah?"

and that night, ellie was extremely thankful she worked on most of her paper, as she completely disregarded anymore work as she decided she'd rather fulfill her appetite by eating you out instead. leaving her take-out cold and untouched. but hey, she held her part of the deal and indeed made it up to you.

that was also how 5 papers ended up taped up against her dorm-room door, complaining of the 'fucking loud ass moans' the morning after.

"how'd they even know it was us?" ellie queries, reading over the complaints. "oh wait, it says here 'please tell your girlfriend to keep it down. she was screaming your name all night. thank you for reminding us who lives in dorm 114.'" needless to say, you were red as a tomato and it gutted you to leave her dorm, feeling everyone's eyes on you as you walked down the hall.

let me know if yall would like more college!ellie hcs!! <3

[ohthethingswedoforlove]

Hai there!!:D I hope ur having an amazing day, ive never like requested a fanfic b4 so I’m so so sorry if I do smth wrong?😭 but I really really loved ur Sal fanfic and I was wondering if you’d consider maybe doing a part 2 about living in the sea of death with him being his “lover” and allat hehe TYSM!!

Hi, I’m so glad you liked the Sal one! And don’t worry, your request is just fine haha, of course I’ll write some more for him! What can I say, he’s one of my old faves.

Warnings: yandere character; descriptions of violence and blood; imprisonment; mentions of death;

Sal

❤️ There's this constant contradiction when it comes to Sal, especially after the Red Sea has taken over and he no longer needs to keep an act.

❤️ For a sadistic bastard that no longer needs to keep up false pleasantries or exercise any sort of restraint, he's still surprisingly... Cheery?

❤️ One might even mistake it for him being nice, perhaps even kind, towards you. As long as you play along with whatever he wants, of course.

❤️ And if you don't? Well, there's only so much torture one can take before they start cracking, right?

❤️ Because Sal never stopped being violent. It's one of his favorite pastimes, actually!

❤️ It's just you, him, and this dark cell he keeps you trapped in that's stained with your now dried blood. And they say romance is dead!

❤️ That's where you'll spend all your time until he considers that you've been sufficiently integrated into the Red Sea. And he's the only person you get to see and interact with, the only thing keeping you from rotting in this place.

❤️ But he does have the grace, and how generous of him it is, to not actually go overboard when it comes to you. He wants you agreeable, not dead.

❤️ He really, really doesn't want you dead. And, well, there are fates worse than death.

❤️ Sal is convinced he can make you see things his way, that you'll "open your eyes" just like he once did. You'll embrace the Red Sea, and with it, him.

❤️ He'll break your spirit eventually. He's a very patient man, as you've unfortunately come to understand.

❤️ And you can fight back if you want! He doesn't discourage it, in fact he seems... Weirdly amused by your violent outbursts. He might enjoy being on the receiving end of your anger just a little bit too much. 

❤️ Which only adds fuel to your despair and his insistence that you two are getting along so well!

❤️ He likes to talk about your "relationship" to literally everyone around him, the residents of the Red Sea growing very intimately familiar with how fixated he is on you. 

❤️ None of them care, of course not, you're not getting any sympathy or help. And there's in fact something rather irritating about the way he so confidently says you two love each other, always in such a singsong, overly saccharine manner.

❤️ But there are moments where his cheerful veneer falls. If you refuse to talk to him, if you pretend he's not there, if you do your damndest to spite him in a way he doesn't find too funny. He gets angry, furious even.

❤️ It's always such a meticulous fury too, barely contained as his hands ball into fists with such force it draws blood, as his frame shakes ever so slightly. As his grin drops, he starts talking about this is the happiness he deserves, about how he suffered so much and only now things are finally in his favor. What makes you think you have a choice in this?

❤️ You might actually bring up this strangely sadden side of him without the anger accompanying it, if you actually bother to strike conversations and, at least pretend to, care about him. Everything he says is veiled in such vagueness, you'll never feel like you actually know who Sal is. Or who he used to be.

❤️ The past is the past, afterall, and who cares about the naive, useless person he used to be? What matters is right here, right now, with you in the Red Sea. He's happy.

❤️ And soon you'll be happy too, with him.

❤️ He does have an eternity to make you love him, afterall!

[mithliya]

I hate the way you are being treated for experiencing trauma and sexual abuse, no survivor deserves this including you. I acknowledge you have incredible grace in dealing with this but more importantly you shouldn’t have to, it’s not right to put a survivor in this situation and constantly triggering their trauma no matter what you think about them. I have had similar experiences with CSA and ongoing SA after and I can’t imagine how I would deal with being picked apart like you have been. I don’t care what grievances these people have with you, if they actually supported survivors they wouldn’t react in this way to you (also I fully believe you about your experiences and about your sexuality if that isn’t clear). It sickens me to see people saying they fight for women’s rights treat you like this. If we can’t support our fellow women what’s the point? I know not all women have the same opinions and politics but it’s seems very basic to me to not harass a survivor of these things. The least they could do is shut up and leave you alone. I honestly don’t know how you can deal with this, I know if it was directed at me I would’ve either fallen deeper into CPTSD or gone offline entirely or both. I am glad you have the strength to continue though bc I think your perspective on many issues is difficult to find and deeply important to hear. I guess I don’t know what I mean with this message other than thank you for what you do and please do not let these awful people take you back into that horrible place that I think all survivors know. Your voice is so important and I hope to continue hearing it, you make change being outspoken. I know we can’t control being triggered and sometimes can’t regulate our responses but I hope that you can block these people and be as unbothered as is possible. Other survivors see you, I see you, I know we are in some ways the same and these people clearly cannot conceive of being in our position

it’s not right to put a survivor in this situation and constantly triggering their trauma no matter what you think about them.

i keep saying this but it just falls on deaf ears!

in terms of how i deal with this… ive said this before & was mocked for it but this has triggered my PTSD several times. i almost always end up having nightmares for weeks afterwards, more flashbacks, and perhaps a mental breakdown or two followed by a long period of dissociation. when i brought up how deeply hurtful it is and how much it triggers me, i end up getting mocked & accused of guilt tripping.

so basically, i’m not allowed to respond to assumptions made about my trauma bc it’s traumadumping. i’m not allowed to talk about the negative impact being harassed over my trauma by these ppl has bc it’s guilt tripping. they have the right to say vile things like saying i’m a “retired ho” (for having a trauma response like hypersexuality as a child and being sexually abused????) and saying that me reacting in a common way CSA victims react to rape a decade ago makes me bipolar or histrionic (love being called a hysterical slut for having a normal reaction to facing rape as my first sexual experience) but i have no right to correct these assumptions at all. it always ends up with several of them harassing me on & off anon, and other people just silently watching. once these ppl leave like they always inevitably do, then radblr starts talking about how horrible these ppl are & often will even harass me over these ppl’s presence as well! idk. it’s a constant lose-lose for me.

anyways… thank u for ur sweet msg ❤️ many other CSA survivours & rape survivours have reached out to me and told me that me talking about my story made them feel less crazy/alone bc they also have a similar story. many are lesbians who face an additional trauma & disgust & shame bc they see how trauma similar to their own is misconstrued & talked about. i’m glad at least that from this persistent harassment i’ve been experiencing for like 5 years now, women with similar stories reached out to me. it made me feel less alone and more understood. i try not to let all this stuff affect me & have been taking breaks online and/or talking to my gf whenever it does take a toll on me. it doesn’t fix it but it helps. some of it is unavoidable bc no matter how many anons i block, i keep getting msgs about it regardless and new blogs keep being made to discuss it

[namitha]

hey friend!

how are you my lovely friend? It has been a long time, I have lost touch with you. I hope everything is great at your end and your heart is feeling happy and in love. I am sending you happiness and loads of love. ❤️

- sobia.

@scribblersobia

Sobiaaaa……😍 my love… 🤗 It warms my heart to receive such a lovely message from you!🥰 It has indeed been a while, but I'm thrilled to be reconnected with you now.☺️ Thank you for your kind wishes. 😇 It feels like just yesterday when we became friends last July, and now, in the blink of an eye, an entire year has passed. How swiftly time flies when we are enjoying the company of good friends! 😊 I'm delighted to share that, by the grace of the Almighty, I am doing well, babe. 🥰 Recently, my work life has kept me quite occupied, but I'm grateful for the opportunities and experiences it brings. 😇 How are you my dear friend? How's ur exam preparation? Sobia, I'm sending you all my love along with the tightest hug possible.💕💕💕🤗🤗🤗 I cherish our friendship more than words can express and am truly grateful for the beautiful bond we share.🥰🤗 May our friendship continue to blossom and fill our lives with joy and happiness. 👩‍❤️‍👩 Luv u soo much.🌻🌻

.

[neteyamsilly]

It’s ramble anon!!

Tumblr being silly as usual 😑

Thank u so much!!!

I don’t feel obligated at all by the way!! I’m always super excited to send you anything!! I’m actually pretty shy lmao, even if I have been on tumblr for years now, you are the first person I interacted in this way!

(My exams results were good btw!! Thank u 😊)

LMAO we might as well be all connected together 😭, I swear that’s what happened, and I’m SO glad it did, I wouldn’t have been able to concentrate at all if I knew the new chapter was waiting for me while I was in class 💀

I HAVE TO SAY: I LOVE the name JACK, she just sucks at naming things like her dad 😌

Or she just doesn’t care, like her dad lmao

It’s so funny that she’d name her ikran just to piss off Jake, like, what is he gonna do??

Btw the jack in cards is like a symbol of good luck; like she is the wild card of the family, what better name for her ikran than that? (There are many (or so anyone keeps telling her), she just doesn’t care 🙄)

[Why can I picture Norm and Max teaching Y/N to play cards?? I mean, IK the group at the old shack (Jake, Grace, Trudy and Norm) had to do something other than eating and sleeping (not sleeping with, I’m looking at u Norm and Trudy) and I think cards would have been an easy, entertaining enough and not too tiresome game to play together and it got passed on to Y/N (maybe those cards were Trudy’s or Grace’s, that’s why Norm still has them.. now I made myself sad 😭)]

And Neytiri somehow finding out and being fucking mad lmao, like “we have our damn games at home, u don’t need this skypeople crap”

If the events of TWOW happened I totally see Y/N maturing more and being a lot more astute about being a little shit lmaoo

Like convincing Ao’nung to fly with her?? That took SKILL and a silver tongue (like the art of persuasion type of crap she’d pull lmao)

[not me inventing happy lalaland headcanons nonsense while Y/N is literally dying and could be taken away from her family 💀💀]

But anyways I digress!!

Of course I look forward to the next chapter!! But I hope you get to rest and don’t get pressured or stressed to write the next one!!

I hope you have an amazing day!! Thank you so much! ❤️

HELLO RAMBLE ANON SORRY THIS IS LATE!

I'm so happy that I get to be the first one to get to interact with you like this, I might just turn into a webtoon/kdrama male lead that goes "you're the first one to do this to me" LMAOOOOO

ALL THE THINGS YOU SAY ABOUT JACK IS EVERYTHING IM GOING FOR SDJDSDJSD sister!reader is meant to literally be a copy of jake, so i want to give her some of his funniest traits as well and naming of the ikran is one of them. fucking jack. she does it out of "funny haha" and "dads gonna hate this and im gonna love it" and "i do not care" venn diagram thing BSBDHBSH

ALSO YOUR HEADCANON ABOUT PLAYING CARDS???? HAS ME IN MY FEELS PLEASE 😭😭😭😭

And neytiri full on going mom mode: "we have cards at home"

cards at home: entirely different subservient thing

AND UR SO RIGHT sister!reader would get smarter about being a little shit. she has to be because lo'ak is an idiot

NOOO DONT SAY LALALAND NONESENSE IM ENJOYING IT SBSJDBSJD

Thank you so much for the ask, as always <333

[commanderquinn]

Good Space Chapter 3: Hey Gringo

! i dont! keep these posts! updated! like i do! ao3!

that means you're going to find typos and shit (and possibly minor detail changes) that don't match the ao3 version! that's because im not going to bother fixing the tumblr posts until i finish good space as a whole. im only uploading them here as a backup tbh

—

master list / ao3 chapter link

—

warnings: ayyy!! none this time!! unless you wanna count Highly Disrespectful Thoughts ❤️ tho!!! the flashbacks are shuri, heads up for anyone who is a big baby (like me) and still crying over WF. also (shocker) bucko angst/panic attacks

song: it KALEO time!! istg there are golden oldies and hippie classics on this intended playlist, we just havent gotten to them yet. this choice is mega self-indulgent on my end ngl, buuuuut thats the whole fic in general lbr (side note: every time i write Angy Ava, i want you to imagine the vocal intensity of jefferson airplane’s lead singer, grace slick)

the timing of this chapter could NOT have been better with the probably-russian hackers knocking out ao3 that long. i mean it dude, im pretty sure the universe had a good chuckle over this one bc i sure as shit had to sit here and go “youre pullin my leg bud”

also now feels like a good time to mention, for absolutely no reason in particular (definitely not bc of Bucky being a Huge Simp this chapter), that i hc bucky as a dom with service top leanings. i just didnt wanna give the impression that reader is dom for this and accidentally get anyones hopes up with no payoff. i try to avoid that as much as i can bc god knows i drop Big Honkers on y’all every damn chapter, id hate for you to get all the way to the end of this and not get your cookie, y’know? (i am, ofc, down to write mega sub bucky for smut-shot requests)

also remember when i mentioned giving ava a HANDFUL of physical details for writing fuel? 🌝 (ur gonna think im funny rlly soon, dw)

anyways if you dont have adhd, good luck and god speed with the idiots thinkin abt each other in this chapter ❤️ im so sorry in advance 🥺😔

—

Febuary 17th, 2015

"Good morning, Sh—"

"Have you left your worthless husband yet?" Shuri impatiently taps a finger against her elbow, where her arms are crossed over her chest. 

She watches Ava sigh on the other end of the vidcall. The woman looks too tired. She needs rest. Shuri wants to stab Alec all over again. She's going to make a new, self-lacing, possibly electrified dagger just for the occasion. "I know you're just trying to—"

"We can come to get you. I will send T'Challa. You must promise me that you will have him get me something from Washington." Shuri raises a stern finger, pointing it directly at the camera. "Do not let him pick it out himself—"

"Shuri, honey, I love you with all my heart, but please—"

"I want you to pick it. The furniture in your office is ridiculous; I want something like that."

A smile far too small pulls at the corners of Ava's lips. Her smile used to move freely, and it will do so again if Shuri has any say in the matter. Which she does. "Well, thank you, I work very hard to keep it ridiculous. Now—"

"It will make me think of you whenever you are not around to make fun of my brother with me. My mother will get the lawyers you need to start your divorce—"

"I—sweetheart, please, it's been a very long night—"

"It is the afternoon where you are. You have not even had breakfast, have you? Of course not. You are busy doing the work while Alec—"

"Shuri!" Ava puts a hand over her eyes and takes an unsteady breath in. "I'm sorry. This is—it's been a long night. I didn't mean to yell at you—"

"You need to start yelling much more, Ava. Aim it at your worthless husband while you tell him you are leaving," Shuri argues, entirely fed up with how the doctor allows the spineless dickhead to make her miserable. "T'challa will remove him for you while you stay here with us."

Alec—she refuses to call him Ryder; the man does not deserve to have taken the doctor's name—leans into the camera view, his expression bored. Dismissive. Shuri wants to smash his wrinkling, greasy face in with her fist. "While I appreciate the offer, your majesty, my wife and I can handle our private life alone."

Shuri glares back at him, one of her eyebrows hiked as far up as she can comfortably get it. "Do you really think being aware of your presence on this call will deter me from reminding my friend that you are a demon?" She looks pointedly at Ava, who's still covering her eyes. "He is a demon. A pasty, rude demon."

"Alec is going to shut the fuck up now, I promise." The fingers over Ava's eyes pull in until she's pinching the bridge of her nose tightly. She looks as if she's fighting off a migraine. She probably is. And it is Alec's fault. "That way, we can get this over with, and I can finally get some sleep—"

"Which you need and are not getting enough of." The words slip out before Shuri can stop them. 

Ava's shoulders deflate slightly. Her hand drops, and she attempts another smile that doesn't reach her eyes, making Shuri feel a pang of guilt. "No, I'm not. But I will, just as soon as we finish the basic adaptation matrix. I promise."

Ava always encourages her to speak her mind, no matter what. Sometimes it gets her into trouble. She is not looking to berate her favorite Canadian; she loves leaving the vidcomm between their labs on. The open connection is a comforting window into the outside, one that lets Shrui indulge in any question or raving that passes through her mind. 

Alec is a poison in her friend's life, and Shuri will not back down from reminding her of that. But mother and Nakia have sat with her over this, explaining that sometimes, an abused heart will cling to what hurts it. They have to be supportive while Ava works through this. She's getting there. Just not nearly fast enough for Shuri's patience.

Father has been reminding them all that Alec is a risk, given what he knows. Trusting Ava means trusting her for the duration, and they can't go back now. If she says she is handling the issue of separating the man from her work, they have to allow her room to do that. But T'Challa has been ordered to keep close, or at the very least, ready to go.

As much as she despises Alec, Shuri does not wish to see Ava hurt in this. Not any more than necessary. She is also not interested in trying to control her friend the way her mother sometimes tries to control her. It is infuriating. 

So, taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders, she lets some of the fight leave her. For the sake of Ava, not the pasty demon. "I have the latest build ready for transfer." 

"You're sure you've secured the connection on your end?" Alec has the audacity to question, even outside of the frame. "I'm not interested in spending my week chasing traces of this—"

"Do I look as if I will hesitate to strike you, colonizer?!"

—

"I'm just saying, Humpty Dumpty."

"Fuck off," Bucky wheezes at the billionaire, compressing the towel he grabbed from his new medkit against his ribs. Why he expected to make it through his first mission back without having to crack it open, he's not entirely sure now that he's sitting in the hindsight. Getting shot today was, if he's honest with himself, entirely predictable. It's his luck, after all. 

"We let you out of the house again for five minutes, and you've already broken yourself." Tony shakes his head as he tsk's, making Bucky roll his eyes lazily. "What's Ryder going to think? If you keep this up, you'll give the woman a complex about draining your mojo."

"She's going to think I throw myself in front of armor-piercing rounds for idiots that don't notice when they're being shot at." The mention of Ava brings the doctor's smiling face to the forefront of his mind. Bucky leans back against the Quinjet's co-pilot seat, letting his eyes fall closed. 

He could take care of this latest injury himself. That's what he usually does. Thanks to the serum, all he has to do is keep the wound clean for a few hours while his body stitches itself back together. Nothing's broken, and he'd be in much more pain if anything were punctured. Hell, he'd probably be dead already. The fix for this is so easy it'll practically handle itself.

"You always get so cranky after you've played the hero." He hears Tony kick his feet up on the Quinjet's main controls. "Take a breather. Maybe a bow or two. Believe it or not, it's possible to accept a compliment now and then."

"Grandstand more often, got it."

Ava's probably going to hear about today's incident now that Bucky thinks about it. If anything, Steve's going to make sure of it. He doubts she'd guilt him for not being comfortable with an optional trip to medical. They've been having more conversations about boundaries and comfort, and she's been unwaveringly supportive of him moving at his own pace. 

"You don't have to grandstand, you gigantic baby," Natasha chides from between the chairs. Her hand smacks against his shoulder, making Bucky grunt softly. "A whole new world is going to open up for you when you relearn to accept praise."

Tony snorts, long and loud. "Has he reached that stage of modern education yet?"

"I reached that stage of education before you were born, Stark." Bucky's not territorial over his reputation anymore; those days are long since passed. The grand majority of his mojo got left in the 40s. He's just tired of Tony's shit. That's all it is.

He shifts uncomfortably in his seat. Ava might feel bad that he didn't come to her for something like this. He doesn't... want that. He doesn't want her thinking that he doesn't welcome her help or that he doesn't trust it. He... he does. He doesn't just appreciate having the option; he enjoys it. The new routine is a breeze, and his neck feels better than it ever has. At least that he can remember.

"I'm confused," Tony mumbles around a mouthful of snacks. The man never stops eating. "Are we talking about your no-no years, or did you and Rogers hit up underground bars before Germany?"

"I know all his secrets from the vanilla days; they never went to any of the fun ones," Natasha confirms. It's not like Bucky was going to take the verbal bait anyways. Steve still falls for it regularly. 

"I like how you don't deny having the rest of the answer; I feel like it tells me all I can tolerate about the icicles when it comes to this. That's my favorite part about you, Romanoff. You know when I don't need to know, you know?"

His dumbass friends might as well be background noise with Bucky's mind this firmly in the memory of Ava's office. She's been so good to him, especially over this last week while she pushed through all the red tape for him. He'd been expecting it to take an eternity of hounding Steve all by his lonesome, but she got him back in the field in under two weeks. His best friend had actually been kind of pissy about it behind closed doors. For Bucky, it was like getting sprinkles on top of his cake. 

He's been thinking about getting flowers delivered to her lab for the trouble. It feels like too much whenever his thumb hovers over the confirmation button. He's reached the part of staring at the order details four times.

"I'm pretty sure your country doesn't appreciate it as much as you do. They tend to fight cold wars over it."

"Well, yeah, but our country—you see what I did there? That was a pretty funny communism joke. And it works as a reminder for both of us that you're actually an American citizen these days; isn't that wild? Back to the point here, our country fights wars over stuff we do ourselves all the time, so that doesn't feel like a fair reason to dismiss our friendship."

The doctor's forcing him to expand his music library. Her taste there is as scattered as her taste in movies, but she's got some leading themes he's been able to pin down. The 60s and 70s are huge for her, expectedly, and she's got a lot of nostalgia over the 90s. Paige keeps her versed in all things pop, folk, and country, according to her. 

"If I start referring to the US as my country, you people will expect me to do things like register to vote. Or put up wallpaper."

"I don't think anyone's expecting you to be legally allowed to do that. The voting thing, not the wallpaper. In most states. For multiple reasons. Although, the wallpaper might be a good call."

Ava invited him to their absurdly large archive of playlists during his second session. The ones Paige curates are nothing but insanity. Not one of them makes a lick of sense. Bucky decided that he should have expected that, given her Energizer Bunny reputation. Ava's are less scattered; more organized. Soothing for his mind to digest. He's been using them as workout music ever since. And driving music. And general background noise. 

"I don't think I'd know where to start buying wallpaper. Do you even want me putting that shit on your expensive building?"

"Not really, but the idea of walking in on you rolling paste on the living room walls is worth anything it could take to fix them later."

God, she's funny, too. He could listen to the woman's awful, soul-crushing puns and subsequent cackling for hours. He'll never say that to her face, not for as long as he lives, but they've made him feel lighter every morning that he's gone to let her work him over. He's already stolen two of them to torture Sam with. Another thing he's not going to tell her.

"Maybe I should start smaller. Bruce keeps suggesting a car that has legal registration."

"Heeey, that could work. You'll be signing up for mailing lists and bitching about state tax in no time. You know what?" He hears Tony snap his fingers. "We should get you a houseplant. Work you up to having a fish or something."

Alright. Maybe he'll go to Ava. He doesn't want her to think he's trying to blow off her expertise again. Or that he's avoiding her. He's not; he really does like hanging out in her office. Even if it's technically a medical appointment. He's a lot more eager to visit her than his therapists, that's for sure.

"I am not paying taxes," Natasha scoffs. "If you think I'm tying a legal address to my name, you're out of your fucking mind. Moreso than usual."

"You don't think you'd enjoy having a cave to lurk in?"

"What makes you think I don't have one already?"

"I'm talking about a real house, not a safe house."

This injury isn't related to his cybernetics. It's his ribs, well below any of his implants. He's not entirely out of the loop when it comes to what doctors have to do to get their licenses. She no doubt had to pull a lot of hard hours during her residency. Maybe she doesn't want to patch up the tower's notorious grouch every time he takes a hit. But he doubts she'd ever be impolite enough to refuse him walking in.

"I have my space here: bathroom, laundry room, small kitchen. If I haven't bothered decorating that, what makes you think I'll want to do it for an entire house?"

"Aww, come on. Look at Ryder! She's having all kinds of fun making her place as obnoxious as possible. That could be you after a few online shopping sprees."

Bucky's eyes open slowly, his brows drawing in when the second verbal mention of Ava pulls parts of his attention back to the conversation. 

Fuck, not going to medical still leaves the option of her taking offense. Okay. Alright. So, he'll split the difference and go to emergency intake. He's pretty sure she's listed as his surgical contact in the tower now—he can't stomach looking at his own medical file, not even the written records. Any injury this big will get flagged for trauma support, and she'll be notified. Then it's up to her what she wants to do. That feels like a good compromise.

"She's doing that to reclaim it from Alec; that's different. I don't have the same motivation. For me, it's just going to be extra work.

"Who's Alec?" Bucky asks without thinking. If the universe doesn't hate him today, Natasha's just going to assume he's being his usual kind of paranoid.

"She hasn't mentioned him?" Tony sounds surprised. "Alec's her ex-husband."

Ex-husband? She was married? And she's not anymore, meaning she might be—

He shuts down that train of thought immediately. 

Reclaiming the space of her house implies they lived in it long enough to form some heavy memories. She hasn't mentioned having a kid, and she strikes him as the type to bring up something like that pretty fast. So it was just the two of them, most likely.

"People usually don't like talking about the egocentric sack of shit they used to coexist with," Natasha points out. Of course, she already knows about the doctor's history. It's her.

"Bad divorce?" he prods, trying not to sound overly invested in the answer. These assholes will take it as an invitation.

"Oh, the worst," Tony confirms. "Shithead tried fighting her on it tooth and nail. She had to borrow my legal team just to get the guy to fuck off and leave her alone. He even kept her surname after the divorce; can you believe that?"

An uneasy feeling starts to rise in his gut, making Bucky look over at him. Then up at Natasha. "What kind of won't leave her alone are we talking about?"

"Down, fido, my lawyers took care of it. There's no need to start tailing him. Aside from being a self-absorbed asshole that insists they'll," Tony's voice turns scornful as his fingers form air quotes, "work things out with time, he's toothless." 

"She's got concealed carry permits she earned properly if that makes you feel better," Natasha offers up. The thought does help ease the tension building in him. 

He won't read Ava's file, no matter how bad the buzzing gets. But he might check in with JARVIS about her home security. He's noticed her name on the system logs. She, or at least her house, is linked to SHIELD's network despite her general distrust of the organization. He understands the opposing priorities completely.

He caved and read Wyatt's file two nights ago. The buzzing had been building since Ava mentioned him wanting an autograph, and it finally got to be too much. Nothing's lurking there aside from an impressive list of historians from all the fuck over Georgia and Alabama. The kid's got more family than some towns have population. 

Bucky leans forward with a muted groan to change the autopilot's intended LZ of the Avenger's balcony to the entrance hanger for medical. If he's going to grit his teeth through the antiseptic over a couple small holes, he's damn sure not going to haul his ass through half the tower while his ribs leak. His patience has limits, and that's pretty fucking far over the starting line. 

Tony looks over at him with a deep, suspicious frown. Bucky frowns at him right back with the same level of scrutiny. He can feel Natasha staring a hole into the side of his head, even if he can't catch her in his peripherals. He hates both of them with a passion at the moment. He knows what's about to happen—

"Did you just… prioritize your own health," Tony questions like he's baffled by the very idea. His whole upper body turns in the seat as he looks up at Natasha excitedly. "Oh my god. He's doing it. All by himself." He raises a hand to his chest and looks back at Bucky. "They grow up so fast."

It's good that the autopilot is on. If it weren't, Bucky would be tempted to crash them out of spite, mostly because he's sure he'd survive it. "Very funny."

"All it took was a hippie that gives him candy," Natash adds, her voice dripping with smugness. "Who knew."

"Both of you can fuck off." Bucky doesn't like how close she just got to his primary motivation on the first try. Old habits die hard, et cetera. And he hates that he can't tell if she was trying to guess. If he's lucky, which he isn't, she was just making fun of him.

Natasha knows about his visits to the florist's website; he's fucking convinced of it now. He doesn't know how, and he can't outright call her on it. If he does, he could fuck up and make himself right. There is nothing worse than having the Black Widow as metaphorical family. Not even Steve's hovering.

She and Tony harass him for the remainder of the flight. It's not long, mercifully, and he's starting to regret not grabbing something for the doctor. They were in Montreal, of all places, so it would have been fitting. He figures she'll understand once he shows her his side. The train of thought makes him wonder what part of Canada she's originally from. She hasn't brought it up.

His foot is already bouncing by the time he reaches the elevator. He's still got the surgical towel shoved tightly against his ribs. He hopes she gets there fast if she ends up taking the call. The last thing he wants to do right now is sit around in the burn of antiseptic and bleach while he fights off the urge to bolt. 

This is good, Bucky reminds himself as he takes his first few steps into medical. He's sat through plenty of trips to emergency intake. He can handle walking into his first optional one. It's a non-issue. Completely.

When JARVIS informs him that his file and general vital scan have been submitted for intake, the buzzing gets so intense that he almost leaves. The pace of his sergeant walk, as Sam likes to designate it, slows to a crawl. Then he thinks about a doctor with concealed carry permits. One that lets her house be monitored by a government organization she's actively pushing herself to trust. All in an effort to contribute something good to the world. The buzzing eases, and he picks up his pace, headed for the solo observation room JARVIS listed for him.

There's no moment of standing involuntarily from nerves this time. He doesn't have to force himself to sit back down and wait, even though the room smells wrong. His skin is crawling, and he wants nothing more than to put a throwing knife in his hand like a goddamn security blanket. But he doesn't panic. He doesn't try leaving.

Baby steps.

When the door opens, it's devastating. There's no diminutive hippie with UFO-sized glasses smiling at him on the other side of it. It's a guy in a plain white lab coat without artistic stitching, one that Bucky's never met before in his life. He's already squinting down at a tablet, meaning this will be his doctor for the duration.

This was the worst plan he could have possibly conceived. The universe is humbling him for thinking he could get away with something like this without some kind of suffering. He just wanted to make up for being dismissive of her help initially. Now he gets to sit through this. How fucking grand.

"Barnes?" The doctor that's not Bucky's doctor looks up, his heart rate elevating by a few notches. He's putting in a lot of effort to look confident. It's not exactly working. "I'm Dr. Erickson. I'm guessing you're here for the bullet wounds JARVIS detected?"

"Yup." Bucky's not about to volunteer for small talk at the moment. It's a miracle he hasn't jumped off the biobed yet. "Where's Ryder?"

"Your primary is in a staff meeting at the moment." Erickson puts his tablet down on the supply cabinet's main counter. He's already starting to gather what he needs, leaving Bucky to figure out real quick if he's actually willing to do this. "Don't worry; I'll get you sewn up and on your way in no time."

He doesn't want it getting back to Ava that he bailed the moment she couldn't show up. He doesn't want to leave her with the impression that he's only going to take on medical care if it's her; that's not anywhere near fair. The woman is a brain surgeon, not his private physician. He can grow the fuck up and accept help from people that haven't gone through his gauntlet of verification.

"Great," he pushes out, lifting the side of his undershirt to offer an unobstructed view.

It's not great; it's fucking horrendous. The first touch of the new doctor makes the overly physical memory of the buzzing build so high, he can feel it in his teeth. They're not actually rattling in his jaw the way they did back then, he knows that, but it doesn't matter because his body is screaming at him that it's happening.

The first stitch going through his skin makes him want to put his fingers through the doctor's eye sockets. His mind goes over all the ways he can violently put at least ten feet between them without having to get up. Looking back, it's probably good he didn't reach for the throwing knives. He's not unhinged enough to stab someone unprovoked; he's better than that. But they'd have been distracting to his impulse control, that's for sure.

Dr. Handsy is pulling the first suture in tight when the door to the observation room opens again. Bucky doesn't look up, his eyes locked on a random point on the far wall while he focuses on his breathing. He only looks over when a billowing, maroon pant leg enters his peripheral.

Thanks to a bunch of dead Nazi scientists that used to hide out in the mountains of Russia, Bucky Barnes has a trigger in his brain that is entirely out of his control. One that, when activated by his own interest, lets him process his surroundings in a sliver of the time that it should for a human mind. It is exceptionally helpful in the field. 

Watching Ava Ryder walk in, wearing a suede jumpsuit that mercilessly frames her curves, proves to him that having it in the 30s would have gotten him shot by someone's father. Definitely before he left Brooklyn. Or before he got chased out by several fathers banding together with baseball bats. In the time it takes her hand to come off the door handle and make its way to her hip, his mind goes on one hell of a fucking journey.

He already had more than a vague idea of the shape of her before now; he can't help it. Comes with the territory of doing threat assessment for a living. God knows his eyes have slipped down to her chest on a shameful amount of occasions. Her tits are being held up and pushed together fucking beautifully at the moment. Typically, that would hold all of his attention.

But this is the first unobstructed view of her that he's gotten, thanks to the lab coat being nowhere in sight, and good fucking god. Holy fucking shit. Godfuckingdamn.

She's half turned from him at this angle, so he's only getting a side view. That's more than enough to show off an obscenely rounded ass and the cushy thighs it rests on that are going to haunt his fucking dreams. It's bigger than his hands by a margin that's outright glorious. The mental image of his fingers digging into it, of how it would make her skin dip under the pressure, makes his blood race.

He can't spot the outline of any underwear at first. Then her hand makes contact with the jumpsuit, and his eyes pick up on it. Right there, above the top of her finger, pulled up high over her hipbone. There's a thin band leaving an impression in the fabric. An extraordinarily thin band. There is nothing else in sight.

Pulled between Ava's legs, right at this very moment in time, is a strip of fabric that Bucky's tongue would fit against perfectly. Right under that is a taste he's been catching himself wondering about for two weeks now. One good, long drag of his nose. That's all it would take to push in whatever she's picked out for the day and soak it with that taste. He could get it back out from between her lips with his tongue, pull it to the side with his teeth to give himself room to feast—

Bucky tries to shift his weight as nonchalantly as possible while his brain slows back down. The comeback from tactical analysis is always jarring, with this one being especially so. 

He's the worst kind of bastard. An awful, selfish, perverted sonofabitch. There's not shit he can do to change that. How unfortunate.

"David," Ava greets, the name coming out as tense as the closed smile plastered on her face. "You can put that down."

The other doctor doesn't look up from the work his hands are doing. "That you, Ava? I heard you were—"

"Now."

Bucky's back straightens up as David looks at her nervously, taken aback. Bucky doesn't blame him; he didn't know her voice could get that forceful.

David sort of laughs, which feels like the worst possible choice to Bucky. But, hey, not his call. "What, do you want me to just—"

"I want your hands off my patient right now. I'm not asking." She watches with unwavering intensity as the other doctor lets the needle and thread drop from his hands. She visibly bristles at the patronizing expression on David's face, her head tilting aggressively. Bucky kind of wants to watch her hit him. "I'll be back in less than a minute, sergeant. I need a word outside with Dr. Erikson."

"Take your time," Bucky assures, the tension bleeding out of him already. His ribs are leaking, and there's a piece of doctor floss looped through his skin that he's going to have to cut out of himself tomorrow morning. The immoral evaluation of her outfit that his head threw at him is going to eat him alive. Forever. Especially when he's trying to fall asleep for the foreseeable future. 

All things considered, though, he feels fan-fucking-tastic.

David still looks somewhat shell-shocked, and there's real insult starting to creep into his posture, but the guy doesn't argue. He follows Ava back out of the room, not bothering with a goodbye in Bucky's direction. When the door closes behind them, his super hearing picks up on Ava reaming David about prioritizing patients before ego. She goes into detail about the deep shit he'll be in with her if he keeps ignoring her written orders, long before it ever gets him fired. She tacks on why her anger should scare him a hell of a lot more than the idea of that. Then she instructs him to keep his damn hands off her patients and get back to the intake desk. 

The protective streak makes Bucky's chest feel warm, a half-smile pulling at his lips. She's a handful, alright. One he'd give anything to be brave enough to send flowers to.

Ava is calm, cool, and collected when she leans back in through the doorframe, hanging off it with a soft smile. "Hiya, stranger. I hear you picked a fight in my motherland today."

"I hear it has an arms dealer problem. I wanted to see if I could help." He gestures down at the needle swinging from his ribs without looking at it. "Not all Canadians are as welcoming as you, turns out."

"Eh?" she fires back, hamming up the accent. "Wellll, I'm not about to let a few cranky arms dealers tarnish our reputation. What do you say you push that bandage against your new bragging rights, and we head for my office?"

Licking his bottom lip nervously, he tries to give her a confident smile. "You were busy with something."

"Not too busy for my favorite popsicle." One eyebrow raises sternly. "You are not allowed to tell Steve I'm playing favorites." God, she's cute when she tries to deflect. It's never worked. At least not on him.

"That's—" Shit, where to even find the fucking words for her. "You don't have to do this. Go out of your way like this. I don't mind getting patched up by random medics. Comes with the job."

Her smile turns impish. "That's cool and all, but I mind when people ignore basic ethics just to have a story about stitching up an Avenger. If you need to tell yourself I'm using you as fuel for a workplace pissing contest, go for it. Whatever gets you off that biobed." She leans back, leaving the door open wide behind her. "Come on; I can't stand the way they organize these damn shelves. I wouldn't patch you up in here even if you did pay me. Next time, head for my office first."

Bucky does as she ordered, pushing the surgical towel she packed for him against his side, not minding the sting in the least. He swallows down the point that, by every definition there is, he's not an Avenger. "I'll follow you, doc."

—

"Alright," Wyatt plops his hands down on the glass of the holo, his expression determined. His tight curls bounce with the motion, making their resident gumdrop look adorable, even through the discomfort. "Let's get to dissectin' this cacophony. All in one go, preferably, so I don't feel like yackin' up my lunch two days runnin'."

Ava's head tilts sympathetically. "Oh, honey, tell me you didn't—"

His hand comes up, with his index finger pointed to the ceiling. "Nope. But I got close a couple'a times thinkin' about this." He mutters several things under his breath about creepy Nazi bastards while he pulls up the raw data from Bucky's implants. "All the more reason to get it the hell over with."

"A whole day of digging through coded war crimes," Hannah deadpans quietly, raising a steaming mug to her lips. "I'm glad we get the fun assignments."

"You'd ditch us if we didn't," Ava jokes. She scrolls through the sergeant's file absentmindedly on her tablet, reviewing the vitals added just a few hours ago. He actually came to medical. For something as minor as a field injury. Of his own volition.

"Mmm. I don't know. It's pretty fun watching a brain move like Jell-O. You might have been able to convince me to stick around just for that."

SHIELD's primary system makes a blaring noise of disagreement as Wyatt loads the main file structure. He frowns, looking over at Ava with concern. "Its askin' for administrative override."

"Heeey, that's that thing Tony says I'm not supposed to abuse. That's probably not a good sign." Ava pushes her glasses further up the bridge of her nose and leans over to get a look at the error. "JAR, I'd like some reassurance we're not about to trigger an ancient LoJack if you wouldn't mind advising here."

"There are safeguards in place for importing code with an unknown source," JARVIS reports in. The warning on the screen is dismissed, presumably by him, and a new window comes up. A log of the programming in Bucky's cybernetics going through digital quarantine loads rapidly, with line after line being highlighted in red and labeled HYDRA Suspected. "I will process them for you. One moment."

"We have to clean the Nazi code before we can beat it to death," Hannah mumbles against the rim of her mug. "I think I kind of like that."

"Please, Hannie, I'm hangin' on by the skin'a my teeth here." Scrubbing his hands over his face, Wyatt groans exhaustedly. He drags them down slowly, giving Hannah a pleading look over the tops of his fingers. "You know I'm always here for supportin' you—"

"I'm aware." The ex-marine's clipped tone makes Ava snort and look back down at her tablet. They both know stopping him now isn't going to cut off the word vomit.

Wyatt's hands thunk back down onto the glass. "I'm so proud'a ya, y'know that—" And there's the thickening of the accent.

"I know."

Ava's eyes skim over the list of everything detected in Bucky's wound, locking on the word leather in particular. Today was her first look at his work gear—she's got a feeling he doesn't call it a uniform—in person. It was hard to keep professional in front of six and a half feet of Hi, how are ya? wrapped up in that much heavy black. The sounds that his vest made when he dropped it on the coffee table— Jesus. He's got to be packing enough in there to arm a small country. 

"All's I'm sayin' is that if I have to hear about murder right now, I might actually upchu—"

"Please don't."

Ava's too scared to ask what's in the sergeant's pants for a multitude of reasons. Professionalism is lower on the list than it probably should be. It's a shame, too. He's downright hilarious when he lets himself talk. There's not a doubt in her mind that he'd come up with something unbearably good—and unwaveringly dry—in response to the loaded question.

"A'right then. We're in agreement. No bad thoughts today. We go in like—like excavators, right? With our helmets and our 'lil pickaxes, and we get what we need so we can—" The way he cuts himself off makes Ava look back up in concern. She finds the most horrified expression on Wyatt's face. "That—ah shit, that didn't come out all that right. That was mean, wannit? Insensitive. I'm not tryin' to belittle what the sergeant's been through."

"You weren't belittling anything," Ava assures, reaching out to rub his arm. "I think he'd be the first one to race you to a fossil joke about this."

"You'll tell 'im I'm takin' this serious, won't ya—"

A small chuckle escapes before she can stop it. "Wyatt, sweetheart, it's not like he heard you—"

"You take your pills today, Combs?" Hannah's calm question makes the gumdrop freeze in place. She blows on her coffee, taking a small sip. "If you say you don't remember, I'm going to—"

Wyatt snaps his fingers, his expression shifting to relief. "I didn't, and I remember why, too." He rolls his chair back with a sudden push, aiming for his desk. He reaches out before the chair finishes the trip to grab his patch-covered messenger bag. "One'a the cats got int'a my coat closet; dumbass got stuck on a shelf for reasons I'm still not real clear on." He pops open his medication bottle, tossing a pill into his mouth with a level of dexterity that makes her jealous. "The hollerin' was s'damn loud, I thought the landlord was gonna come knockin'."

"Which one was it?" Ava asks. "Not the new kitten?"

"No, no—Juno's been'a dream. It was Galileo again. I love that furry little bastard, but sometimes he can drive me nutty ." He pauses to take a swig from another glossy vacation mug. Today's is advertising a campground Ava's never heard of that's the best in the Rockies, according to the swirling font. "I got new pictures of Juno if you want 'em, though."

"Yes, please," Ava confirms happily. Holding the teacup-sized ball of fur made her whole month when he last brought Juno in. Hannah ended up hogging most of the cuddle time, but the sound of little meows filling the day had been enough to make up for it.

Wyatt pulls his phone from his back pocket and brings it around to hook up to the holo. The system dings with the sound of a successful transfer after a moment. He loads a collection of new photos, zeroing in on one of Juno clawing her way up a window curtain—

The power to the lab shuts off with a loud, electric click. Everything plunges into darkness with the privacy setting on the glass walls keeping the sun out. It comes back on before Ava can react, the building's primary system switching to the emergency power grid. She and Wyatt lock eyes in panic.

"Oooh man, boss, did I just—"

"I'm sure you didn't," Ava comforts, trying to push down her own panic. It helps that she's heard Tony rambling about the work he's put into making this place indestructible. "JAR?" 

There's no response from the AI. She trades another nervous glace with Wyatt.

"I know it was probably the Nazi shit, but I'm hoping it was the cats," Hannah says, sounding sincere. "I feel like that'll make a much better story."

"Oh my god, did I break JAR?" Wyatt looks between them frantically. "How often does he back up his servers? Did I kill'a piece'a JAR?!"

"I have not been murdered," the AI confirms after nearly a minute of being gone. "The safeguards reported a false positive regarding the programming of Sergeant Barnes' cybernetics. It has been handled."

Ava gives the hologram wall of code a warry look. "Handled by you?" There's a suspicion building in her gut around his phrasing, one that she's not planning on letting out of her teeth. 

"Mr. Stark has a protocol in place that cuts off my servers in the event of any irregular activity. Given the nature of the programming's origin, the system is designed to er on the side of caution."

"That's a really fancy way of dancing around the point, JAR." She's trying to stay civil about this. It's not an easy venture, and she's pretty sure it's not translating at all. Even she can hear the frustration in her voice. "How about we cut the shit, and you tell me what the false positive was."

"There are automated routines running for Sergeant Barnes' implants. They are not harmful; I've taken the liberty of checking them personally now that they've been cleared through quarantine. I am creating a stable update to forward to—"

"How long have they not been harmful, JARVIS?"

Hannah sits up from her relaxed position at the avoidance of their favorite nickname for the AI. Wyatt's brows pull in nervously, his eyes never leaving Ava. They both know exactly what she's digging at.

There's a long hesitation from JARVIS. Short by normal social standards but an eternity for a sentience with quantum processors. "There is not currently a risk posed within the Sergeant's—"

Ava's out of her chair and halfway to the door before he even finishes the omission. Fueled by some of the most intense rage she's ever felt in her life, she marches out on swift feet. She's going to kill him. She's going to string him up—maybe hang him off the side of the tower.

America's fucking Sweetheart, her ass. America's Doomed Liar is a lot more like it.

"Where is he," Ava nearly growls, still stalking down the halls, leaving the medical wing in a hurry. "JARVIS, I know you're still listening; you tell me where that puffed-up, hypocritical—oooh , you tell me where Rogers is right the fuck now. And then you tell me where Stark is—"

"Dr. Ryder, I know you're not inclined to believe this at the moment, but I assure you—"

"You're right; I'm not inclined to do that at all." She takes a deep breath as she passes through the front entrance, slowing herself to a stop. With genuine effort, she pushes down her anger. "I don't want to keep yelling at you. I don't like doing it in the first place. If you don't want to tell me where they are, I'll find them myself."

Ava heads for the elevator to do just that. She's not expecting a response as she pounds the side of her fist against the button for the Datacrux's floor. It's likely to be her best bet to find any of them. There's not a chance in hell that she's letting her team dedicate any more time to this until she gets some fucking explanations.

Halfway along the ride up, the light around the button goes dim. A flash of anger rises in her until she sees the one for the executive level illuminate. 

"Mr. Stark is not currently in the tower, but you will find Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes debriefing in the Situation Room," JARVIS informs her over the elevator's intercom, making the SHEILD agents around her pretend not to look over. She's tempted to ask them if it's the outfit.

"Thank you, JAR," she offers as an olive branch. Regardless of what's truly going on here, she doubts the AI is all that comfortable with the subject.

"You're welcome, Ava."

She's only been to this part of the tower once before. Tony dragged her up to the Avenger's balcony for a party after her divorce was first finalized. That's about the extent of her experience with this section. It's not hard to find her way with everything denoted like it is in the rest of the building.

The palm of her hand smacks against the door marked Situation Room, and she shoves it open aggressively. Both super soldiers, the Falcon, Black Widow, and a scattered group of SHIELD agents stare back at her in surprise. It doesn't slow her down any.

Ava points an irate finger at Steve in the uneasy silence of the room. "Unless New York just caught fire, you and I are about to have a very blunt conversation, captain."

"Hiya, doc." Bucky, unsurprisingly, is the only one in the room smiling at her while she glares daggers at Captain America. He's still in his not-uniform. There's still blood on it. The charm he's throwing her way reminds her that they won't want an audience. 

"I'm going to ask the rest of you to leave," she continues, but her eyes stay on the sergeant as her finger lowers. "I don't think you'll want to be here for this, Bucky."

"What makes you think I don't wanna watch you beat up my best friend?" He leans back in his chair, his hands coming up to rest on his stomach as his smile deepens.

"Can I stay?" Sam asks, his voice eager. It's a damn shame this is how she gets to meet him. She doubts the Falcon has any clue about unethical research.

"Come on," Natasha insists with a serene nod in Ava's direction, grabbing Sam's shirt to drag him up from his chair. "You heard her."

"I—hey!" Steve looks so insulted as he watches his friends and various coworkers abandon him with zero hesitation. "You're just gonna—I don't even know what I did!"

"Neither do I, but I am very ready to hear about it," Bucky assures Ava, not an increasingly distressed Steve.

Ava taps her foot impatiently as the room clears out, leaving her alone with the super soldiers. She ignores the nerves radiating off of one of them and focuses on the one that looks delighted. "I'm serious. This is about your case. Specifically, the work HYDRA was trying to finish."

The mirth leaves Bucky almost entirely. His posture doesn't adjust from its reclined position. "Alright. Tell me what's got you livid about it."

"Steve here made me a promise that was broken in my lab a few minutes ago."

Steve's eyebrows pull in with confusion. "Which promise? Wait—a few minutes ago—Is this about that blackout? Ava, catch me up here; what the hell is—"

"You swore to me that the intention of HYDRA—at least where Bucky's case is concerned—was to make an army of super soldiers, nothing more." She's letting him process this one step at a time. It'll make yelling at him for lying a lot easier. That, and she's honestly worried the technophobe doesn't understand the gravity of the situation.

"I—" Steve hesitates, and she watches the switch to tactical assessment come over him. It's startling to see it directed at her from a face that isn't Bucky's. "As far as I know, that was the intention."

"Yeah? You're sure about that? You're sure you're not omitting something pretty fucking important to my job, Steven?"

"JARVIS, what was the blackout?" Bucky questions at half the volume he started at when she first came in.

Ava points at the sergeant insistently. "See? I'm guessing he doesn't even know, but he's sure as hell already on the right track."

"There was an incident regarding the coding found in your implants, Sergeant Barnes. It has been handled. I have prepared an update to their systems whenever you're ready to undergo a transfer."

"As your doctor, I'm ordering it. We can go back to my office after I'm finished ripping your friend a new asshole for lying to my face." Her eyebrows lower at Bucky in indignation. She's doing this for him, but that doesn't mean she's going to let him off the hook if he knew. "We should probably figure out if I need to do the same to you before we get there."

"Hey, hang on now." Steve raises one hand, likely to try to calm her, but changes his mind and puts it back under the table. She's guessing someone's finally clued in the out-of-time man about that practice making women want to throw something. At his head. "We might not always be able to talk about classified information—something you agreed to, I might add—but I've never lied about HYDRA's intent as far as I comprehend it. I've been very careful to hold up that end of our deal."

"Let me tell you how I know, for a fact, that someone involved in this case is doing a piss-poor job of lying to me about it. Since you haven't quite figured out modern tech, I'm going to try to keep it simple." Ava points a far less aggressive, more instructing finger at Bucky's arm. "In order for that hunk of metal to work, it needs to be programmed. The hardware needs software that can tell it how to read brain signals. A few decades ago, some Nazis sat in a room and wrote a bunch of code for that software. That's what was supposed to be in Bucky's implants. That's all that was supposed to be in Bucky's implants."

"Wait—what the hell else is in them?" The flicker of fear that creeps into Bucky's expression breaks her heart. There's not a doubt in her mind that he could sell her on any lie he wants to with his mind set on it. That's the point of infiltrators like him. 

But Ava's willing to bet everything she's got in this world that the fear in him at the moment is genuine. He doesn't know. And it makes her feel awful.

"Given the size of your implants, I'm guessing not much," she tries to reassure. "We can always purge whatever is there later. However, if the code were as simple as 'read this signal, do this thing,' it wouldn't have been flagged as untouchable by Tony's security measures. The ones put in specifically to prevent JARVIS from being corrupted." She crosses her arms over her chest in exasperation, her eyes moving to one of the small security cameras on the ceiling. "Would you like to explain to the captain what kind of code it would take to accomplish that, JARVIS?"

There's another human-length moment of hesitation from the AI in response. "It would take adapting code."

"The part he's holding back—definitely because he's under orders not to break SHIELD protocol—is that something has to be driving the adaptation. There is such a thing as self-adapting code; that would absolutely explain it. If we weren't talking about something made in the 40s when HYDRA needed entire warehouses just to house a few terabytes of data." She glances over at Bucky. "While I'm sure the agents you scare the piss out of would disagree, your head isn't actually big enough to hold that much."

"You flirtin' with me to stop the panic or to apologize for not being Canadian for a minute?"

Ava blinks in surprise, the slightest hint of heat coming up the sides of her neck. That—she hadn't been—well. Steve's head turns to him, his eyebrows raising in mild shock.

Bucky clears his throat, then tries for a quiet chuckle, his eyes floating between her and the table. "Sorry—it's this damn room. Puts me in sergeant mode, makes me—let's get back to yelling at Steve."

"Thanks, asshole, I appreciate—"

"What makes you think I won't yell at you just because I'm Canadian?" Ava counters, finally recovering. "You trying to stereotype me, Barnes?"

The relief that comes off of Bucky is palpable. "I'd go for the hippie thing first if I was trying to do that."

"Didn't you sleep through the McCarthy era?"

"HYDRA gave me the long and short of it between naps."

Her hand flies up to her face to block a loud snort. Damn him, this is serious. But she's not about to begrudge him the gallows humor. She lowers it again while he smirks at her. "Do you mind? I'm trying to make an angry but valid point here."

"About a bunch of code that my head isn't big enough for," he continues for her dryly, one hand coming off his stomach to gesture up at it.

Ava sighs, the amusement from getting sidetracked by the Brooklyn heartstopper fading fast. "Not big enough by the standards of the 40s. By today's standards?" Her head tilts to the side sadly, readying herself to watch that fear in him get more substantial. "You tell me, Buck. Did the Nazis work in the mindset of single projects, or did they work in the mindset of generations that would lead a global empire?"

The words are the last piece to complete the puzzle in Bucky's mind; Ava can see it happen in his eyes. The expression of horror it yanks out of him will haunt her for the rest of her days. "Zola." 

It's said in a whisper, and Ava's not even sure what the word is. 

It takes Steve longer to reach whatever conclusion Buckys come to, and he looks resistant to the idea at first. "No, that's... no—Buck, you've been to what's left. You know what it took—"

"That's the point she's making, stupid. Look at how small everything's gotten." He stops, and Ava doesn't miss the sight of a hard swallow. "It makes sense. Think about it. It makes sense. They took care of the car until they could find an engine that fit. I was the prototype. Or—was going to be, at least."

The comparison—the one he's using on himself—is revolting. Accurate, but astoundingly revolting. She pushes past it, leaning down to tap a condescending nail on the table. "Hi, there. Still here. Still looking for some answers. What the hell is Zola?"

With Steve watching him like a hawk, Bucky breathes a long, tired sigh. "Not what. Who." 

"I can fill her in," Steve offers to him quickly. "You don't have to do this."

"Oh, I'm not doing shit. She's going to do it all." Bucky locks eyes with Ava, his expression passive. Having the Winter Soldier himself that focused in on her makes her breath catch involuntarily. "How's your Russian, doc?"

"I don't speak a word of it. Do I need to for this?"

"No, I'm sure you've got plenty of ways to translate anything you feel like reading. You should look up doveryai, no proveryai while you're at it." He leans forward, resting his arms on the table. His eyes never once move away from hers. "JARVIS, transfer a copy of my archive access to Dr. Ryder. Full permissions. And the next time she asks you a hard question, you don't have to bullshit her. Tell her to call me."

—

April 6th, 2015

"I want you to bring me with you next time."

"No."

"Is that a no because you do not agree or because you are afraid of mother?"

"Both."

Shuri frowns at the security feed, ignoring the quiet laughter she can hear coming from Nakia on the other end. "Coward."

The camera mounted on T'Challa's dashboard shakes as he turns it back to his face, his expression annoyed. "Say that to my—"

"Coward."

T'Challa rolls his eyes and turns the camera back around as Nakia laughs harder. He will be mopey now, for sure. "I am not taking you to stare at a soldier's office with us."

"Why not?"

"To start with, I refuse to be trapped in a car with you for that amount of time."

"You should be so lucky! Now, what is the real reason."

"What part of royal family do you not—"

"You get to go to these things."

"And when you leave your lab long enough to learn to use the spears of your foremothers, that privilege can extend to you."

"Okoye is always ready to teach you, Shuri," Nakia offers up diplomatically. 

"I do not need a spear to sit in a car annoying my brother," Shuri argues. They always do this to her. She is tired of it.

"You do not need to sit in a car annoying your bother at all." The moping has already started. She can hear it in T'Challa's voice.

"Fine. I will go to Ava's house and stay there while—"

"No."

Shuri slams her hands down on her desk, making the various instruments on it rattle precariously. "She is my family, too!"

There's silence on the other end in the wake of her anger. Then the camera turns again, this time by Nakia's hand. She doesn't stop the spin until it's pointed to show her and T'Challa. He does not look as annoyed anymore. He looks guilty.

Nakia gives her a sympathetic smile. "No one is trying to take that from you. We are only trying to keep you safe. We do not know how far Alec is willing to take things."

"And I am not willing to present the man with more temptations of power," T'Challa adds, the guilt on his face shifting to resignation. "It is not simply because I am afraid of our mother. I agree with her. And with our father. Alec Harlow is a man that is losing everything. That is a powerful motivator, Shuri."

"I am not afraid of that spineless demon," Shuri insists angrily. "I could handle him myself, thank you very much."

"Half the school children in Wakanda could," Nakia mocks under her breath.

She gets a stern look from T'Challa before he focuses it on Shuri. "It is not his strength we are concerned with. It is the allies he can call upon at any time. Men with strength and resources that we do not wish to deal with."

Some of the fight leaves her. Not much, but it does ebb. Her brother might be an idiot, but he is right about this. Ava would not be this afraid for no reason. She has been trying to disguise it when Nakia brings her for visits, which is how Shuri knows it is serious.

"I hate that man, brother." The word is far too inadequate. The contempt she holds for the worm who put fear in the heart of her favorite mad scientist feels immeasurable.

"As do I. As do we all." T'Challa smiles at her finally, his face softening. "I promise to bring you to hit him if he is ever arrested. That is when I will deem it safe enough."

"How many times?" she chases after quickly. "Can I bring a weapon?"

"You can bring exactly one weapon. Can you guess what it is?" The smile turns sarcastic as he reaches out and turns the camera back around to face Alec's office window. 

"I do not need a spear to break that man."

"No, you need it so I can stop being lectured by Okoye for enabling your avoidance of tradition."

"That will not help. She wishes for me to sit through her lessons. I would just bring the spear to hit him over the head with."

Nakia laughs, the sound light and soothing. "I am surprised you did not go straight for the idea of skewering him."

Tilting her head down at her desk, Shuri hesitates. She picks up the ridiculous coffee mug Ava got her, spinning it around in her hands with somber movements. 

Ava's last visit had been especially hard to stomach. The woman had looked so... empty as she talked about the start of the divorce. There had been no vengeful joy in her as she told Shuri's father she understood the gravity of the situation. No hard-won victory in her posture. There had only been grief and shame.

Shuri sighs, turning away from the screen to head for her lab's kitchen. She is going to fill the mug with one of the teas that Ava brings her. It will be a nice change from the energy drinks she has been binging. "No. I... I do not wish the man dead. I only wish to see him locked away somewhere he can never smile again."

—author end notes—

there’s one sentence in this chapter that is 14 words long (including contractions) that is the entire foundation of their incoming dom/sub and oh my g o d when i tell you that shit was cathartic to write 😫🤌 some day when this is finished, im gonna write a whole goddamn dissertation on that one sentence and all the narrative shit that tied into it in this fic so help me (YOURE ALLOWED TO GUESS BTW)

anyways, everyone is alive in wakanda bc i said so. and nakia and t’challa are really stupid uber mega important to ava’s backstory

i feel like we’ve all, as a species, Been Through Enough. you can talk my ear off abt anything, but dont talk to me abt the opening of wakanda forever i will Literally Die, i havent cried that hard over the first watch of a movie in so fucking long and i dont think im strong enough for a second. all i ever need for binging is winter soldier and black panther anyhow (FATWS is still growing on me and i only like it so far bc im a sambucky shipper. and a stucky shipper. and a 3 musketeer shipper. and a—i like making buckaroo be in love a lot. lets just. leave it at that). we can stop with the big owies thanks. let me escape to the fictional world where everyone is alive and Nothing Hurts, t h a n k s.

well. okay. some things are gonna hurt in this. probably really super bad too and youre gonna be really really mad at me when it hits. but like. theyre set up for comfort pay off so does it even really count??? i didnt think so, ty for agreeing 😌

ily 💖 tyty for reading 💞 and tyty in advance for yelling at me when i eventually hurt u ❤️🥰 i will understand, its okay, u are entitled to the emotional compensation on that one

[lapis-lights]

helloo!!!!!!! i just wanted to let you know just how much i love reading ur fics....from the story pacing to the characterisation..to the interactions between leon and reader😭 both of ur stories had me squealing and kicking the air WAAAAAAA!!!!! im soso excited for ur next series, please never stop writing!!!!!!! i look forward to every one of ur posts JSJDKS have a great week ahead❤️❤️❤️

ME RN BC YOU'RE SO SWEET!!!!

The next series is coming! I'm taking my grace period rn bc I tend to need about a week of a break between big writes cause eueudushjdb that's a lot of words. But!!! Once that grace period and the polls ends it's over for you guys >:)

I hope you're doing well and I hope you have a great week too!!

[lokidokieokie]

Ever The Gentleman

Request by Nonny: Love ur Hiddles fics ❤️ Had an idea for a fic where reader is an actress working with Tom and he notices she's not feeling well. Later he notices a blood stain on the back of her pants and realises why she wasn't well and helps her out so she isn't embarrassed. And of course he's such a gentleman about the whole situation.

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Actress!Reader

Warning(s): Period things, Tom being a gentlemen, idk man probably some other things I can't think of...

For Tom, today on set had pretty much been a blast...until it wasn't.

He started off in hair and makeup; cracking jokes with Jeni and Abigail the artist and stylist assigned to him. They truly were lovely people--especially when they encouraged his corny "dad" jokes for hours on end.

Then he moved onto wardrobe, where he proceeded to clown around for an hour; whether it be by singing the lyrics to some his favourite renditions of Hank Williams' songs (yes, with the accent), or insisting that he be able to run around the studio to prepare a prank for this "brother from another mother."

The day was going extremely well; it felt like nothing to steal its thunder...

But when he made it onto the sound stage, there was a disturbance in the force; and all it took was a quick glance at you to figure out what it was.

Instead of the usual cheery smile that graced your exquisite face was a frown that could eerily resemble Loki's. A frown of his own flashed across his features; what was upsetting you?

Making his way towards you, he tried to figure out what it could be.

Maybe it's just one of those days where everything goes wrong? Highly unlikely; you were extremely organised; it took a lot for everything to go wrong for you.

Maybe she received some bad news? There was that one roll you were really looking forward to; maybe you didn't get the part?

All possible scenarios came to an abrupt stop when he reached you.

"Are you alright, Darling? You don't look well."

You shifted to face him, "I'm fine, Tommy." He rolled his eyes. You were the only one that could get away with that ridiculous nickname.

"Stop deflecting with that hideous nickname, Darling. I know something is wrong. Your beautiful smile that could rival Asgard itself hasn't graced me with it's presence today."

You slightly smiled at him, "I promise, I'm fine, Tom."

He huffed, "I may only play the God of Lies, but even I could see that you were fibbing."

You chuckled, your radiant smile almost fully appearing.

"Everything is fine Tom, truly. It's just my-"

"Alright my sugar plums, places!"

Tom frowned. Taika truly had the worst timing possible. He vowed to himself then and there that we was going to get to the bottom of this, that he was certain of.

The next time Tom saw you out of a scene was at the end of the day, when you were both heading towards the hair and makeup trailer.

There you were, leaning against the trailer door, probably complimenting the stylists for the umpteenth time today.

He barely managed to hear your "You both do outstanding work, I hope you know that" compliment, but smiled nonetheless. You truly were amazing.

As he began to walk up behind you to join your conversation, it took him all but a few seconds to figure out what had gotten you into your unhappy mood today.

A small little red patch--of what he was assuming was blood--on the back of your pants. Light bulbs went off in his head when he realised why you were feeling unwell today.

With a frown, he made his way over to you and hugged you from behind; achieving a giggle from you.

"Yes Tommy?"

He kissed your cheek and began whispering in your ear.

"Darling, don't be alarmed but you've leaked through your pants."

He felt you blanche and watched as your face drained of it's colour. You began struggling in his arms, trying to escape.

He continued whispering, "It's alright Darling. I'm going to give you my sweater. It should hopefully cover everything."

A subtle nod was all you offered. With that he began rubbing your arms.

"Darling, you're freezing." He quickly pulled off his sweater, "Please, put it on."

You gave him a watery smile and swiftly put it on. And what do you know, it was just oversized enough to cover everything.

Before he could blink, you had spun around and pulled him into a proper hug. Your hands wrapping tightly around his waist as his arms made their way around your shoulders.

"Thank you, Tommy."

He just smiled, nuzzled his nose into your hair and pulled you closer.

The both of you were too caught up in your own little bubble to see that Jeni and Abigail had their matchmaking smiles on...

A/N I’m so sorry this took so long for me to get out. I kind of neglected writing for the whole of October 😬 

[daynada]

AOT Characters Comforting Their Crying S/O

[Content Warnings]: Angst, comfort, grammatical errors, GN!S/O (insert reader)

Divine Zine Spotlight [Characters Featured]: Erwin Smith, Hange Zoë, Levi Ackerman

Booked Photoshoot Appt. [Request]: “hi so uh i was kind of upset and sad so i didnt read the rules bc i rushed here fkwhcsbfjsj and i needed comfort fics ig?? so um. can you maybe write levi, erwin, or hange coming home late and when they walk into bedroom, s/o is on the bed, laying on their side and silently crying? jfskcksjfnsn its ok if u dont write this i will 101% understand if ur uncomfy writing this ❤️ also take care of urself!! :) i hope ur doing well🥰”

Notes: I'm sorry that you were upset :( I hope you like this (criticism is appreciated) I hope you're taken care of as well - self-care platonic smooches. Your comfort characters love you -daynada

Eyes dreary from sleep deprivation - walking to the bedroom had never felt so continuous after tonight's endless shift. Nonetheless, far more grateful to return to a favorite place next to a dearest person - only to find your quivering body crying so sorrowfully.

Erwin Smith: Breathing out your name like a prayer, the man stands in stupor at the heart-wrenching scene unraveled before him. What could have upset you? Not hearing the opened door creak and your husband's footsteps creep closer, he brushes softly from your shoulder to feel the smoother skin of your neck. How many times will you astonish him with your realness? All that beauty, he gets to witness everyday living together. Now equally stunned at Erwin's arrival, he wryly smiles at your awed wide-eyed reaction. You sit up on your shared bed, bashfully entangling the rough hands of the blonde commander. Planting a lingering graceful kiss on your forehead, he hopes you will remember this forever and always.

"It will not be like this forever. Not for long, I promise you - we will see this through together."

Hange Zoë: As always, the fourteenth commander is rather theatrically dramatic - only in a way to break up the glum apprehension. In a way, it’s quite comedic - the torridly adorning other half spouting nonsense of what could’ve possibly upset you. Nonetheless, the brunette’s humor never fails to tug you out of your foggy mind. Pulling your body from behind, the warm contact of the lovers' body runs yours, securing you in the solitude of warmness and closeness. For Hange, the only thing worth living for is you live life peacefully in this world. As long as you are content - who could ask for more? In a silvery voice calling out your merry pet name, Hange holds you tighter as if you're going to disappear into thin air if your partner lets go. And that idea is far scarier.

"You are not alone~ Okay? It would be impossible for you to push me away! You will never be without me, as I, you."

Levi Ackerman: He is unable to utter a single word. Almost stares too long at your shaking form. Levi would never admit his heart breaks into crumbling pieces watching his important person break in front of him. Seeing you with so much misery, the dark-haired man will do anything to make you feel better. Grabbing his pocket handkerchief, he dotingly wipes the wetness of your cheeks - delicate snivels emit from you. That is when the Ackerman noticed your hands fidget against another, your body turning away from him, seemingly ashamed. As if a light bulb had flickered, he can only figure your embarrassment as finding your lonesomeness weeping but also dealing with the dampness of your tears and snot. But Levi does not deal with you - it has never been and is not an obligation to care for you, never burdening the man. Cupping your cheek, he looks into your eyes as if god had placed starry constellations in them. His voice thickened with concern and genuine tenderness.

“You can cry. You’re allowed to - don’t you ever think otherwise. Never hold back in front of me."

[intimidating-fettuccine]

can we have more yandere poly jason lj and so hc please? luv ur work❤️

I'm not sure what you meant by "more" because to my knowledge I haven't written them as a yandere poly in headcanons, only a possessive scenario, so I just went with basic HCs. Hope this is okay

The deadly duo, these two are. These two are severely possessive on their own as yanderes, but when you smash the two of them together, it gets even worse. They edge each other on, pushing each other to grow even more possessive over you, and once they have their hands on you there is absolutely zero chance of you making it out of that situation alive.

The place where the two of them differ is punishments. While they both deal extremely harsh punishments if they feel the need to, Jason is much, much more likely to end up giving you a punishment than Jack is. Jack likes to be the one to coddle you, to comfort you, to try and play a softer role and convince you that you need him, that he's the best thing for you, that you're safest with him, and Jason will too, but if you try and trick the two of them or try to escape, Jason's right there to drag you back bloody and beaten, a warning to not do it again.

You are never alone with these two either. One of them is ALWAYS with you, and if they have to step away, you have Jason's toys peeking around the corner, keeping their eyes on you, always ready to act if they feel the need to. Most days, if you keep yourself on good behavior and do what they ask of you, you'll be in good graces. They'll be snuggling up to you, loving on you, pressing kisses and squeezes all over you, and you won't have anything to worry about, and that's what I recommend with them. If you can play nice, you'll have two spoiling yanderes, keeping you safe and housed and treasured like the little pet you are. All you have to do to survive is not piss them off, especially both at the same time. Anger both at the same time, and, well- I called them the deadly duo for a reason.

[chal-latte]

hand in marriage plz skdkd I love you I hope ur uni apps are doing well

im thinking engagement/wedding with timo soc med? with a Kpop girlie FC?

and maybe like everyone doesn't think he's one to settle down but reader got him whipped like a lil loyal male wife bec he's so in love with reader 😁😭

-timmymyluv (urs truly)

A/N: STOP THATS SO SWEET TYSM I rly do hope it’s going well😅 tho the idea of engagement/marriage isnt for me not yet i hope especially maternity/being a parent oh god but im just gonna make this one for my truly + in this fic theyre p private so yk just quite the hints of them getting engaged HOPE THIS IS GOOD

deuxmoi

Liked by 239.041 others

deuxmoi spotted: our young heartthrobs timothée chalamet and y/n l/n landing on naples airport, italy. they hurried through a throng of fans and hopped into their reserved vehicle. what’s got you in a rush @tchalamet​ @y/i/n ?  

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fanpage10 AW honeymoon

fanpage10 AW honeymoon

fanpage24 i would be in a rush too i mean- 

fanpage48 ppl who get to meet them r so lucky

fanpage90 italy for the summer??? hope i can catch them

fanpage83 what are they doing in naples?

fanpage40 i miss them sm🥺

fanpage74 they look so good!!

y/i/n

Liked by tchalamet, louist91 and 4.392.492 others

y/i/n amalfi coast was my secret haven but now i get to share it with my forever 💍

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tchalamet ♾

*Liked by @y/i/n

fanpage31 CONGRATULATIONSSSS AAAAH😭😭😭😭

pauline.chalamet i love you guys so much❤️❤️❤️

harrystyles much love

louist91 congrats love!!! Xx

fanpage55 IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU

fanpage84 UR SO SICK FOR THIS GOD 😩😩

evanmock and then they kiss

kyliejenner u guys 🥺

bellahadid I CRIED PLEASE I WISH I CAN HUG YOU RIGHT NOW😭❤️✨💐🪷🕊

dior congratulations! 

isabelagrutman oh so lovely i’d love to have you both for dinner let’s talk about marriage! 

↪️ y/i/n AHH isabela🥹🥹 talk soon!!

tchalamet 

Liked by y/i/n, honeymoon and 9.329.149 others

tchalamet her’s

tagged: @y/i/n

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fanpage93 GEEZ OKAY IM ALSO HERS🙄🙄🙄 no need to get cocky

y/i/n mineee <3

fanpage11 hand in marriage NOW!!!!!!

kidcudi finally

fanpage87 LOL CUDI’S COMMENT🤣

honeymoon 🖤

voguefrance felicitations!! 

fanpage33 AAAH LANA COMMENTED

fanpage77 KJAGJKHJDKGHDGN IM CRYING

officialrebeccaferguson congratulations my darlings

ethanhawke congratulations kid

fanpage88 GAHHHHHHHHH MY HEART STOPPED

pauline.chalamet MY SISTER!! 😍😍😍

fanpage20 CONGRATULATIONS MY PARENTS

enews

Liked by 790.421 others

enews love is in the air! timothée chalamet (@tchalamet) has graced y/n l/n (@y/i/n)’s ring finger with a 24k tiffany and co. custom engagement ring. before y/n, he was a “why settle? this world wants you to accept every challenges and move,” type of man. while having a fling with different models every month gave him the status of a well known playboy. but just yesterday, he’s proved us that he is a changed man. congratulations to your engagement! 📷: instagram

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fanpage83 they rich rich

fanpage14 the media framed him as a womanizer when hes actually not

fanpage95 timothees not like that 

fanpage48 24K ENGAGEMENT RING imagine the marriage ring😭😭😭😭

fanpage85 yall but their promise ring was so cute🥺🥺🥺😭😭

fanpage47 yeah bc timothee is sm more than just a “playboy”

fanpage67 y/n’s a queen she deserves a 24k ring💍

tchalamet mentioned @y/i/n in a story!

tchalamet this forever @y/i/n

[saintobio]

Utahime really just fucked up her wonderful and loving and close friendship with yn for a guy she wasn’t sure would really dedicate himself and is your best fucking friend’s ex. Not ex bf, EX Fucking HUSBAND!!!!!! Bitch satoru obviously hasn’t moved on like tf? he asked yn to take him back sis but that is not the point? Howwww in the hell did you think apologies would somehow mend your friendship with yn!? she is your best friend, your boss, your go to. Now you lost her and you can’t be sure satoru will stay. I just- AAAAA

Anonymous said

OMFG Utahime actually did it 😭 Satoru and utahime actually did it! I may sound mean but that relationship was made to end bad. You cannot expect to fuck your best friend’s bf or fuck your ex’s best friend and think you will have a happy ever after story. No it just doesn’t work that way 💀💀 I feel so bad for Y/N. It is as if the whole world is against her omg

Anonymous said

hi saint i really liked this chapter! i know this is a bit dumb but i couldnt take my mind off a phobia i have & u just dropped the chapter and now im completely distracted about it 😭 about the whole thing w utahime i actually think its wrong and dont blame y/n bc utahime knows practically everything like idk i find it weird dating ur friends ex bc you know stuff you know details of that relationship and yea... also the gasp i let out when gojo & hime were sorting things out 😶 and lastly i always promise myself to wait until all chapters are released to binge read everything one night but I can't 😩 i really really love your work hope you have a good day 💓💓💓

Anonymous said

It's sad it's utahime because throughout sn yn had didn't have a friend on her side. Toji and her family are a romance and family. She didn't have a friend of her own she can lean and not to invalidate shoko but she's still satoru's friend. I'm talking about someone she can call her own.

Gojo always hurts her in the end :/

And if utahime actually thinks without the alcohol or hormones she should know all the trouble she'll have getting caught in this mess.

Anonymous said

utahime is a snake frfr. like just imagining how much yn must have told her about her previous relationship with gojo and how much she suffered mentally and probably felt like gojo never loved her and to see her turn around and “fall” for him?? like wtf? yn believed she was the one person free of judgement who could help her navigate the situation and listen to her feelings without judgement and instead it feels like she took heavy advantage of the knowledge she had from yn (and yn’s complicated emotions about him) as well as gojo’s lingering feelings yet desire to be happy himself to insinuate herself in his life. idk what kind of “friend” could do some shady shit like that. and then going up to yn crying??? (like cassie’s bitch ass) she knew what she did was wrong or she wouldn’t have felt so guilty so she genuinely sucks as a friend. she doesn’t deserve yn’s grace or friendship and i hope yn renounces her as a friend or something. (team shoko ftw) she a fucking snake and i don’t trust that kind of behavior. i would never do that shit to my friends and if my friends ever did that to me, we’d be throwing hands. (of course not canon utahime cause that woman could step on me and i’d say thank you😔) but i loved this chapter and we love and appreciate you and the time you make to update and answer asks. i hope things go well for you at work and w office dude!!!❤️❤️

Anonymous said

idc what anyone says f*ucking or flirting in ANY way with your bestfriend's husband/boyfriend is sooooo wrong. utahime was wrong for that big time. sure, satoru was a bit wrong for that but the fact that we told utahime EVERY single thing... how we felt about satoru.....

OH THIS BITCH NEEDS TO BE PUT DOWN

as for yn, i understand she was heartbroken but lets not pretend she was sad because it was JUST her best friend, even if it were anybody else she still wouldve been deastated. that just happens just admit that you still love him and go GAWDAYM.

utahime, listen to me… this isn’t you. this isn’t you, okay? 😭 you are not cassie. lmao kidding aside, i don’t think she’s a “snake” per se. gojo and yn are not married, so technically, she didn’t steal him from her. it’s more so the fact that it feels morally wrong that she’s seeing her ex-husband.

[hoes4hoseok]

txt as red (taylor’s version)

y’all I swear I didn’t mean to have all three txt ones so far have yeonjun alone in the pictures WHOOPS it just happened to work 😭 anyways thanks to @lethekoo ❤️

soobin as state of grace

“you come around & the armor falls, pierce the room like a cannonball, now all we know is don’t let go”

state of grace encapsulates so many feelings that come with falling for someone, from the times that you feel on top of the world to when they make you more vulnerable than you’ve ever been. & personally, I can picture soobin doing all of that from the first date

this song also raises more questions than answers them, and the whole idea of having no idea where it could go makes so much sense to me

taehyun as red

“moving on from him is impossible when I still see it all in my head in burning red”

OOH okay I don’t know if everyone will agree w this one, but I think a relationship with taehyun would bring so much passion (I said this about yeonjun in the fearless one but I still think it applies to taehyun lol) which simply makes ending it leave a gap that’s very hard to fill

like…the relationship is in no way healthy, yet somehow you fall deep in and you find yourself needing him too much and then ✂️🧵 whoops

hueningkai as everything has changed

“all I know is you held the door, & you’ll be mine & I’ll be yours; all I know since yesterday is everything has changed”

💘okay I hope y’all like childhood best friends to lovers for hueningkai!!

I don’t LOVE this trope but when it’s done right, it’s so good and this song + hueningkai just make so much sense to me

like just the way it unfolds & everything about the shift in how you look at each other 😫💓 I can’t relate at all but it SEEMS cute 🤩

yeonjun as come back…be here

“this is falling in love in the cruelest way, this is falling for you & you are worlds away”

okay my reasoning for this one is kinda similar to the one I had for heeseung on speak now. there’s a fear that you’d feel left behind if you were with him, especially in a long distance relationship

but I think that in this case, taylor describes the feeling differently–I think that one party, if not both, know that this relationship is not going to work because of the distance which just BREAKS MY HEART :(

beomgyu as message in a bottle

“you could be the one that I love, I could be the one that you dream of; message in a bottle is all I can do, standing here, hoping it gets to you”

AAAA I CAN’T REALLY EXPLAIN THIS ONE SUPER WELL BUT I DO THINK THAT PINING FOR BEOMGYU WOULD BE A WHOLE ORDEAL

I mentioned in his reputation selection that liking him would be frustrating because he’s just so lovable & you wouldn’t know what signals he was sending

& you’d just try to let him know & IT’S HARD but in my mind, eventually, he gets ur message <3

enhypen version ☆ itzy version ☆ reputation version ☆ masterlist

[raziyekroos]

YESSS!! [im also persian and a tsc fan]

I’m sooooo happy rn:)) i have truly found my people🥹🥹 this is certainly a nice start to the new year! Speaking of….

🎊🥳Norouzet mobarak🎉✨i hope you have a wonderful year!!

Okayyyy i got a bunch of questions for you because, if you cant tell, im really really happy and excited to have found you:

Who is ur favourite tsc character? [JULIAN FUCKING BLACKTHORN, MAGNUS FUCKING BANE!!]

Whats ur favourite series? [TDA]

Who is ur favourite downworlder? (Theres a right answer here) [Magnus Lightwood-Bans]

Who is ur favourite shadowhunter? [Izzy]

How long have you been in the fandom? [ive been a fan for 2 yrs but actually joined the fandom about a year ago]

Do you write fics? [nope, i did write taylor swift fics a LONG time ago]

Favourite tsc ship? [magnus and alec… OBVIOUSLY]

Least favourite tsc ship? [alastair carstairs and the guy i refuse to name 🧑‍🦰]

FIC RECSSSS? (Preferably malec but idrc) [nope i dont have any fic reca at the moment, true love never dies is rlly nice but Dani is famous so i think you’ve already heard of it]

Whats your timezone? (Is it weird to ask people that?? Idk. Don’t answer if youre not comfortable) [mine is EDST/EST]

Do you speak farsi or any other persian language? [yea im fluent in farsi]

Is your ask box always open? [i don’t post so doesnt really matter]

*okay so i realized it’s not fair if i just ask the questions without you getting to know me so i decided to answer them too)

OMG I HAD NO IDEA!!! HELLO?!! SO HAPPY TO MEET YOU 🤭🤭❤️

Ok first of all, what can I call you?! (You can call me Razi/Raziye (راضیه) whichever you prefer 🌝🌝)

NOWRUZ MOBARAK TO YOU TOO!! DID YOU CELEBRATE?! 🤭

OKKKK let's answer the questions 🙈 (also, thank you for answering them yourself too it's nice to get to know new people and their passions!!)

My favorite character? Welllll i have a hard time choosing between Magnus and Alec ASFGHJHJJJJJ I really love them both :') so let's say both of them! ^^ (I LOVE JULIAN TOO?!?! HE'S ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE AFTER MAGNUS AND ALEC!! and if I wanted to marry a tsc guy it would be him 👀🤣 cause well Alec is gay and I can't think of Alec and Magnus with any other person so yup!! Julian 😎😎 what about you? 🤭)

Favorite series is TBC/TEC for obvious reasons 🌝🌝 but if I wanna choose between the main series it's TDA and TLH cause they were both chaotic af and I love it 😂😂

Favorite downworlder of course THE MAGNIFICENT BANE! DUH 😎

favorite shadowhunter, well it's Alexander Lightwood for me of course 🌝🌝 (but if I wanna choose the best Shadowhunters, as in shadowhunting I'll choose Emma!!)

SAME!! I've read tsc since 2019_2020 but I've joined the fandom about a year and a half ago!!

I don't write fics nope :') I don't think I'm good at it ASSDFGGJJJJ and I've never actually tried, but I'm trying fan art (kinda) out now but it's still not ready 😂😂🙈 when it was I'll show it to you^^ (ohhh Taylor swift! Nice ^^ one of my school friends was OBSESSED with her so I know a lot about her 🤭🤭 and @magnus-the-maqnificent here really loves her too so 🌝🌝)

Favorite ship is Malec of course 😎 (malec is just different for me but after them Jemma, thomastair and Jordelia!!)

Least favorite ship for me is yes Alastair and the guy-who-should-not-be-named 🌚🌚, James and Grace, and tmi Clace kinda?! I really like them in other series but they were not my favorite in tmi 🙁)

Ohhhhh fic recs 😎😍 I love fic recs (both giving them and receiving 🌝) and I actually just read malec so they're all Malec anyways addfgghhjjjj

Spell my name in your blood (I really love this one 🥺😭❤️), the get along fortress, you like me too much, sharp are the arrows of a broken heart by @magnus-the-maqnificent

Bright Lights Small Town, Love is not a victory march, 42 North 71 West, Stars Aligned, alea iacta est by @lecrit

LBAF, I Will Fix You, Put a ring on it, Veni Vidi Amavi by @khaleesiofalicante (and yes I've read tlnd 😍 I really love it *sobs*)

The Chronicles of Bromance, Even when the time changes, by @igonecrazy

And A Prince and A Blue Jay by Sandylee007

Aasddffg i don't really know how this time zone work 💀 but I searched it and it's what google said 🌝🌝

And yes I do! I live in Iran so it's my native language and I speak it everyday 🤭 I can't really speak any other Persian language no :( but I understand لری completely cause I hear it often too 🤭 (soooo does that meab you do not live in Iran? Am I right?👀)

Also, my ask box is always open yes 😍 I'll be happy to get to know you more!!