#MR TORGUE

[krotiation]

the CEOs should have an annual trip together ft. katagawa jr and jeffrey blake bc they're corporate girlies too

[askmrtorgue]

IT'S TIME FOR MR TORGUE'S RECIPE CORNER

TODAY'S RECIPE: MOOSE STEAKS

AND WE'RE PUTTING BULLET POINTS ON THIS BECAUSE F*CK COUNTING

FIND A MOOSE AND SCREAM AT IT UNTIL IT DIES OF FRIGHT. MOOSE ARE NOT SCARED OF SH*T SO THIS WILL TAKE SEVERAL HOURS.

THROW THE MOOSE CORPSE OVER YOUR SHOULDERS AND CARRY IT BACK TO CAMP. BE SURE TO STOP AND CONSIDER THE DELICATE-ASS MAJESTY OF NATURE'S BEAUTY. IT IS AWE INSPIRING

SET MOOSE CORPSE ON PILE OF KINDLING. MAKE SURE THAT THE BODY IS SPREAD EVENLY, WITH NOTHING UNEXPOSED OR FOLDED ONTO ITSELF.

ENSURE THAT KINDLING IS SUFFICIENT TO LAY UNDER MOOSE'S BODY, WITH NO PARTS LAYING ON THE DIRT.

ADD SEASONS LIBERALLY. YOU MAY BE ASKING ME, "MR TORGUE, WHAT TYPE OF SEASONINGS SHOULD I APPLY?". ANSWER: BUCKETS FULL

GRAB A MATCH, LIGHT A HANDFUL OF GRENADES, AND THROW THEM AT MOOSE

SERVES 12

THANK YOU FOR JOINING MR TORGUE'S RECIPE CORNER. JOIN ME NEXT TIME, WHEN I SHOW YOU HOW TO MAKE A FIVE COURSE MEAL USING NOTHING BUT A FOOD DELIVERY APP AND CRUSHING AMOUNTS OF DEBT

[wolfstarr-the-sequel]

MISTER TORGUE PRIDE FLAGS BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL VALID AND TOTALLY BADASS! 💥💥💥

[catarinacosplay]

Mr. Torgue Cosplay during VienCon 2023

Man I look good in a mustache :^)

So the first pool cosplay I did for VienCon was my fabourite weapons manufacturer from Borderlands Mr. Torgue

This was such a fun cosplay to do. I got lot's of compliments on my sick mustache and met lot's of Borderlands fans (who were all incredibly lovely)

Photo's taken by Nairyn.cos

[dailyvideogamecharacters]

Mr. Torgue, Tiny Tina’s Wonderlands (2022)

[spark-circuit]

I think Mr Torgue and Boothill should meet up over drinks. They can bond over their shared censorship issues. And complain about galactic capitalism. And obsess over cool guns.

[soggyskinflaps]

"I'm Brachy, and I am here to ask you one question, and one question only: EXPLOSIONS?!"

[cerabondart]

I have ideas sometimes.

(Bonus points if you recognize the ghost)

[officialmaliwan]

It appears the grenade for brains is still keeping his company afloat, congratulations Mr Torgue.

[kitsumidori]

Salem's Guide to Everything!!!

Hey, so I was bored one day and started to write some fanfic's for Siren Song

As of now, I want to have a few vignettes ready before I upload them to AO3 (which is honestly going to be awhile as I'm not much of a writer) but I had fun with this vignette and wanted to share what I have

(and yes, this is from that Gravity Falls short)

Today's Salem's Guide to: Dating!!!

Salem's Guide to was filmed in front of a adorable studio audience

*scene shows Dunkino, Hermes and Pippie piled up, sleeping*

Salem: As you all know, I'm a dating expert. In fact, I can't get the girls to leave me alone

*Static*

Camera cuts to a random cardboard standee of some random girl

Salem, who is talking through said cardboard standee: Sal, I love you so much! Why won't you let me in your life?!

*Static*

Camera cuts back to Salem

Salem: You know what you did Rachel!!! Today we test the datability of three of Sanctuary III’ swingingest bachelor's.

Camera cuts to said bachelor's

Salem: Mr. Torgue!!

Mr. Torgue, who's looking away from the camera: GET READY TO FALL IN LOVE UNIVERSE!!!! AM I LOOKING AT THE RIGHT CAMERA?!?!

Salem: Katagawa jr.!!

Hansuke: Who are you ever making this for?

Salem: Marcus!!!!

Marcus: I'm only here because you promise bacon.

Salem: egh *tosses bacon at Marcus*

Marcus: *Catches it and eats it* I'm pacified now.

Salem: And now for a simple 9000 question dating quiz.

*Static*

Marcus: “Should men always pay for dinner?” What is this, Russia?

Mr. Torgue: “HOW MANY KIDS WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE?” 7 PREFERABLY, THAT'S ONE TO LOVE EVERYDAY OF THE WEEK!

Hansuke: “How would you treat a partner?” Hmf, by hovering nearby and laughing at everything they say obviously. Nailing this~

Salem: While their busy with that, we give you-

ANIMAL DATING!!!!

Scene shows two toad-like creatures on camera, one tries to hop away but Salem turned in around and shoves them both closer

“TOAD-ALLY DATING!!!!!”

Scene shows Salem climbing a tree where a Yellow Crested Wing is and a decoy bird was placed beside it, the Wing tried to fly away with Salem trying to stop it

“HOOT DO YOU LOVE?!”

Scene shows Salem wearing earrings with bananas tied to the which attracted attention to two Jabbers, only for both Jabbers to scatter around Salem's face causing her to freak out

“TOGETHER FUR-EVER!!!”

Results

Salem: Marcus on a scale of 1 to 5, you scored a 3

Marcus: YES!! YES!!!!

[DATABLE]

Salem: This will limit you dating pool to windows, lady plumber's and convict's

Marcus: I still considered this a victory

Salem: Katagawa, you're score is *look at the results*

Salem: Yeesh!! You know score's don't really matter, you should just focus on being you

[QUESTIONABLE]

Salem: Torgie on a scale of 1 to 5 you scored *looks at the results* a 12?!

Mr. Torgue, in a more soft spoken but clearly excited voice: My Grandma was right all along, I'm the world's most perfect man!!

*Torgue then spreads his arms out while a bright light shines on him, Northern Common Wings fly down on him and a chorus of angels sing to him*

[TOTAL HUNK!!!]

Final Thoughts!

Salem: Love is all around you, and to the guys at home: If a girl says no, SHE MEANS NO! And for the girls: If a guy doesn't take no for an answer, then kill him. Oh no, the Jabbers, their back!!! Ahhh!!!!

Salem, defending herself with a skag plushie: SAVE ME MR. SKAG!! SAVE ME!!!!

[krotiation]

Just a bit of corporate banter

[monody-monody]

IN GRAMMATICAL TERMS, THAT'S CALLED LEXICAL AMBIGUITY! MEEEEERRRERRROOOWWWWW!

[the-lumpfish-king]

WHAT’S UP MFERS!!!!! LET’S KEEP THIS PACK STRONG EVEN IF WE’RE NOT IN OUR ORIGINAL ENVIRONMENT. KEEP CRANKING THAT HOG!!!!!!

[arachegeek]

i will not stop making these

[generalluxun]

Purrge:

Purrge:That sentence had too many syllables. Apologize!

[borderlandsmostwanted]

Canon: Lor is canonically transmasc, Torgue and Axton are bi, Tannis is mspec in some way (and also objectum), Zer0 was supposed to be nonbinary but wasn't but also they did appear on the official Gearbox pride poster last year so ??????

Headcanon: You know I was going to say this. T4T Wainlock is so real to me.

^^^^^^ YES

Obvi having representation isn't like. Automatic Good Game Qualifications but I'm enjoying being in a fandom with actually queer characters for once and these characters are all GOOD, to me anyway. Also congrats on Zer0 coming out on a pride poster /hj

Also yes, I was expecting that hc, I couldn't do pride month for borderlands without it ^^

(And wainlock again, this time seen with emphasis on t4t (open your eyes to the truth))