#MAY 2021 BLESS YALL

[springcatalyst]

📚 📓 🗂 🗓 🖇 📈? <3

📚 What are some books that have influenced your style?

oh god fuck if i know. I like the way maggie steifvater does some things and that's probably wormed its way into my writing, I've been (very slowly) reading Underland by robert mcfarlane and some of his prose is SO beautifully written and I know i've stolen some of his style in scene descriptors and the like. And this is really weird and also not a book but To Build a Fire by jack london does some really interesting things with tension but in a way that lacks a lot of the overt emotion that a lot of longer form works do? I don't know how to describe it but it's also got its hooks in my brain.

📓 What was the last sentence you wrote?

He fled the ship, disappearing among the harbor trailing an itch for blood.

🗂 What's your biggest project?

Uhhhhhhh I mean technically speaking everything I work on is part of one big thing that I'll eventually connect together, but the real answer is that the longest thing I've written is titled Faultline and that's only about 5300 words... i like it a lot tho I think it slaps if I may be so bold

🗓 How long have you been writing for?

Lol so I think like most of yall I wrote bad stories in middle school with a bunch of friends, but that stopped once I got to high school and I just started actually writing like... the very beginning of 2021, so It hasn't been long at ALL? Assuming you ignore academic papers and the like because that's a different beast, even if it helped with honing skills and whatnot.

🖇 What subjects or themes recur in your works?

I don't know... all my characters are weirdly isolated in one way or another and they all wander without much destination. There's a lot of leaving something behind in favor of something unfamiliar and impossible but better. There's a lot of finding your people, large-scale or in the case that 'your people' is just a few close friends. There's a lot of perception vs reality and the ways that having someone see you can be a blessing or a curse (or both). There's a lot of... there's a lot of sitting alone in the cold under a sky filled with stars.

📈 What's your average word count?

About 2200, tho a lot of my really early ones are short as FUCK so that might skew my number a bit. They get longer as I get used to writing.

[dangerous-times]

HAPPY NEW YEAR DORKS

I MAY NOT BE AROUND A LOT ANYMORE BUT KNOW THAT I BLESS ALL WHO I KNOW, RPED WITH, AND JUST VIBED WITH MH BLOG.

NOW BACK TO MY BAILEYS WOOOOOH.

[genderoutlaws]

❄️ December Media Recs ❄️

This month’s thematic focus will be on Death and Defiance — in memory of the incredible anti-zionist, lesbian activist, nurse, and death educator Shatzi Weisberger who passed on earlier this week, I want to highlight the movements and subjects she was devoted to. May the memory of this righteous one and her life’s work be a blessing.

“I have a spot in the woods upstate and I'm going to be buried there in the woods. At some point, my body will start to deteriorate and something will grow. It might just be weeds or it might be a bush or a flower. It might be a tree. So I perceive my end of life as bringing life into the world. That's what I'm hoping for.” — Shatzi Weisberger, 2022

Podcasts:

Shatzi Weizberger for LGBTQ&A as part of the LGBTQ+ Elders Project — { apple | spotify }

Cole Imperi on Thanatology for Ologies with Alie Ward — { apple | spotify }

Sa’ed Atshan on his book Queer Palestine and The Empire of Critique for New Books in Critical Theory — { apple | spotify }

Games:

A Mortician’s Tale

“…A story-driven death positive video game where you play as a mortician tasked with running a funeral home. […] an informative, honest, and sometimes humorous look at the current state of and the future of the western death industry.”

Films: (stream info coming soon)

Big Fish (2003) dir. Tim Burton — not sure how well this holds up but it has been a very cathartic watch for me in the past as I have processed deaths and losses.

Die Beautiful (2016) dir. Jun Robles Lana — a non linear narrative focused on a trans person? all my faves fit this bill so i’m looking forward to seeing this one for the first time along with yall. it is a series of vignettes as eulogy for the main character, Trisha — a trans woman who’s last wish is that she be made up as different celebrities for each night of her wake.

Farha (2021) dir. Darin J. Sallam — a recent release based on the harrowing experiences of a real Palestinian family during the beginning of the Nakba in 1948. (This is currently being review bombed super hard by petty zionists so I highly recommend watching and reviewing)

[legit9thlunaticwarrior]

I posted 4,756 times in 2022

That's 4,748 more posts than 2021!

1,162 posts created (24%)

3,594 posts reblogged (76%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@daddyhausen

@plentyoffandoms

@itjazzbicch

@faggotmox

@imswitchbabemox

I tagged 2,110 of my posts in 2022

#donna be talking - 388 posts

#the besties writing - 374 posts

#donna on raw - 139 posts

#donna is in love with wheeler yuta - 133 posts

#donna on dynamite - 117 posts

#donna doing ppvs - 112 posts

#donna is in love with wardlow - 110 posts

#donna answers - 102 posts

#donna is in love with chuck taylor - 77 posts

#donna is in love with bron breakker - 77 posts

Longest Tag: 89 characters

#he also seems to be the type that’s like gentleman in the streets and freak in the sheets

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

heres a timeline:

i found a comment on one of effy's posts that brody king was at a lady gaga concert

then i learned that he was a crew member for rupaul's drag race from seasons 7 to 12

THEN i learned that he still actively watches drag race and goes to drag shows with his wife

AND THEENN i found this;

this is brody king in a lipsync battle, performing lady gaga's bad romance

and thats what you missed on glee

184 notes - Posted October 24, 2022

#4

Hey bestie!!! 👋

Can we please be blessed with a Wardlow Smut based on Chains by Nick Jonas?

Maybe MJF had mentioned how "whipped" he his by his girlfriend and he laughs "You have no idea."

a day before the contract signing events; bestie sent me this. im going off what we talked abt in dms and using the lyrics to the song as dialogue (not exactly a songfic) also double gif bc this is my page. this whole segment gonna keep yall wardhoes fed for a while, mama’s gotchu. i tried to do a soft!dom but that idea fell apart faster than a dollar store dinner tray. can we also talk bout the vein in his neck in the gif below? lordt

|remember to leave feedback and i love all you heathens|

‘Chains’ 18+ Wardlow (Michael) x fem!reader

See the full post

187 notes - Posted May 13, 2022

#3

💛 Kenny Omega x Reader for snuggles?

our sweet nerd boy - yes i will

|remember to leave feedback and i love all you heathens|

‘I Love You More Than Video Games’ Kenny Omega (Tyson) x fem!reader

^reader is in dire need of cuddles and attention from her boyfriend.^

Y/N POV:

I watched him stare at the screen for what felt like an eternity. I walked into what he calls the ‘Nerd Cave’; one of the spare rooms we had that was decked out with posters, figures, props and all kinds of stuff from our favorite shows or films. It was a sweet thing he had come up with when we moved in together. I stood in the doorway for a while just admiring him. It’s always nice to see him in one of his elements: dressed comfy, sat in his gamer chair, glasses on, and playing video games; truly peaceful. Though I adore to see him like that, I was so desperate for his cuddles. One thing many don’t know about the great Kenny Omega is that he is a cuddle king! And I needed them BAD! I walked into the room carefully so I didn’t startle him. A habit we both adopted was not to scare each other when they had headphones on. I gently put my hands on his shoulders and leaned over the chair, kissing his cheek. He paused his game and lowered his headphones so they rested around his neck, “Hey honey. Wanna join?” he asked. “I actually was hoping for some cuddles. Pleaseee Ty?” He smiled and leaned his head to kiss my hand. “Aw, is someone deficient in Vitamin Me?” Another thing people don’t know is that he makes terrible but cute puns. “Let me finish this level, then you’ll get all the cuddles. Okay?” I nodded and went to the bedroom; knowing his skill, he’ll have the level beat in minutes.

After another half hour, I got annoyed. I went back to the Nerd Cave and noticed he’s started a new level. He must have heard me come in somehow and pulled his headphones down. “I’ll join you in a second baby.” I decided I had enough and turned the chair slightly, climbing into his lap and clinging onto him. “Now Tyson. If I don’t get snuggles in the next five minutes, I might die” I joked. He laughed, “We can’t have that now, can we?” he wrapped his arms around me and resumed his game, “You stay like that, I finish the level, then we go to bed and snuggle.” I smile into his chest, “Dobbie too?” I feel the vibrations from his chuckle, “Yes, babygirl, Dobbie too.” He kissed the top of my head and went back to his game. 

He was a man of his word and after this level, he took his headphones off and picked me up to go to the bedroom. Like the king he is, Dobbie was already on the bed. We settled in bed under the covers and I immediately laid my head on his chest, his arms wrapping around me tightly. Cuddles with Ty always boosted my mood. We didn’t have to talk, just our bodies close together. His hand went up to play with my hair until he tilted my head up to kiss my lips. “I’m glad you didn’t die. I do think you laying on me while I game is absolutely adorable and you should do it more often.” I couldn’t help the smile on my face, “Of course you do, dork.” “I’m serious! You close to me while I kick virtual ass? Makes it even better.” I roll my eyes playfully, “I’ll keep that in mind. I love you.” He kisses me again, letting the feel of his lips on mine linger for a moment, “I love you too.” I decided to poke fun at him: “More than video games?” “A billion times more than video games.”  From then on I made sure to sit in his lap while he gamed more often. It’s, how you say, ‘killing two birds with one stone’?

~~~~~~~

lovely taglist babes (dm or comment to be added) @josiewrites @rubyred1980

188 notes - Posted April 11, 2022

#2

Oh my God I found someone who writes for Brock omg I love you

Can I request something cute and fluffy with Brock please pretty please with she/her pronouns?

the level of excitement i have for this. i love brock now more than i did back in the day. face, cowboy brock is much more likable. funny joke abt me: my father fully believes paul heyman is his cousin, couldnt tell you why. 

|remember to leave feedback and i love all you heathens|

‘Beastly Little Beauty’ Brock Lesnar x fem!reader

^with paul playing special council to roman reigns and the usos, brock needed a new advocate. why not his fiance?^

- wanted to use a doja song for an entrance theme so here we are - best friend becky lynch - i like 3rd pov so im gonna use it more - im 5′4 in real life so thats the height im gonna use - i love roman and the usos but for this imma be shady, soorry - brock and reader have a baby boy named ethan, just let this happen

3rd Person POV:

Brock knew when he came back that Heyman wouldn’t turn his back on The Bloodline. An idea popped into his head but knew it could be risky: what if Y/N was his new advocate? She has everything. She is a wrestler, a professional on the mic, knows the business aspect of the game, and she’s feisty as all hell. She’s decorated in WWE as well; having held every belt in the women’s division at one point or another. When he brought it up to her, the gleam in her eye was untouchable. That settled it. They ran the proposal by all the higher ups and was approved immediately. The catch though: Heyman, Roman and the Usos were not to know. 

Friday rolled around fast and it was time for everything to be revealed. The Bloodline and their ‘Wise Man’ were already in the ring, spewing the usual. One of the backstage hands informed them Brock was on. The couple turned to each other, Y/N reached up to kiss him for luck even though she would be out shortly after. “I love you. Go get em, baby.” she told him. “I love you too sugar.” His music hit and he did his entrance as she watched on the screen in the gorilla, counting down until it was her turn.  “Now I know you are not gonna betray your Tribal Chump anytime soon, so I found someone else to be my advocate.��� A second passed and ‘Boss Bitch’ by Doja Cat played as Y/N came out. She dressed in a black skirt, white blouse underneath a custom flannel with The Beast logo on the back with their son’s name above it, and some black heel boots. The cherry on top was her engagement ring shining in the colorful lights that were part of her entrance. She gave high fives to the little kids as she walked by, something that always brought a smile to his face. He held the middle rope down for her and she got in the ring, he handed her a microphone but Paul started talking before she could. “Well, if it isn’t the Beast’s Bitch? Shouldn’t you be home with that baby of yours?” As the crowd booed, Brock spit back “Unless you want a one way ticket to Suplex City, I suggest you watch your mouth when talking about Y/N or Ethan.” “Brock honey, I can handle this. Paul, I know you have never cared for me or our relationship, so I’m glad you’re now playing second; wait no no,” she pointed to count Jimmy and Jey, “fourth fiddle to Roman. Lord knows he needs a big mouth to go with his even bigger ego.” “Yo Uce, you gonna let her talk to you like that?” Jey said as he and his twin moved to stand in front of her, “Yeah, remember you’re in the presence of the Tribal Chief baby.” She rolled her eyes, “Really Roman? Can’t respond to me on your own so your little bitches have to bark for you?” One thing about Y/N is that she was not afraid to step up to the men, even facing off against some of them. “Y/N,” Roman started as he pushed his cousins behind him and got a little too close to the shorter woman in Brock’s opinion, “I’m not gonna talk bad about you or your son because I’m not that type of guy. What I will talk about is, you have amazing skills in this industry, so you coming out as the new advocate is crazy because it seems like you’re wasting your time and talent on this dumbass farm-” That was all it took for her to pounce on the man in front of her and unleash her own beast. The only defense Roman gave was trying to push her off until Brock picked his fiance up and took her out of the ring; leaving the other four men in the ring stunned as the WWE universe equally cheered and booed her. She grabbed a microphone from ringside and said one last thing, “We’ll see your asses at Crown Jewel.” Her music played as she and Brock went back to their locker room.

When they entered the locker room, Becky got up with Ethan. “I guess we can call you ‘Big Time Y/N’ after that take down, huh?” The couple was grateful for Becky watching Ethan but they needed some time to regroup. “Thanks Becks. And thank you for watching him.” the woman said as she took the toddler in her arms. “Anytime, sweetie.” the redhead left and it grew silent. “I know you probably aren’t happy with me.” she started. “Sugar what are you talking about? That had to be one of the greatest things I have ever seen you do.” He walked over to the woman he already called his wife and held the child that was the spitting image of him. “Ethan, aren’t you proud of Momma? She took down a champion in our honor.” He babbled as he was about to start the talking stage at a little over a year old. “Well I can’t let it slide when someone talks about my two favorite cowboys. Don’t worry baby; Daddy will come home with that title soon enough.” The boy in Brock’s arms reached for his mother and surprised them both, “Momma.” They looked at each other in shock and excitement. “Eef, say that again. Who’s that?” he pointed to the child’s mother. “Momma!” “You said your first word! Ethan, we’re so proud of you!” Y/N exclaimed as she kissed the baby’s little cheeks. She pulled her soon-to-be husband down to kiss him, and tell them both over and over how much she loves them; the expressions being returned as well. Their little family had some major moments that night: Y/N returned, Brock is going for the Universal Championship title, and most importantly Ethan saying his first word. There was so much love in the atmosphere of that room that they forgot about the scuffle out in the ring from before. Truthfully? Neither of them cared. This moment with the three of them was the only thing that mattered.

~~~~~~~

lovely taglist babes (dm or comment to be added) @josiewrites @rubyred1980 @chrisdickinson @xkennyxomegax

195 notes - Posted April 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

i think they should extend the rule of “you take a luchador’s mask off, you get disqualified” to america

295 notes - Posted July 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[solaria222]

M O N T H L Y

P R E D I C T I O N

(pisces - pt 2)

this reading is meant for the month july in 2021. it is a timed reading. this reading has your zodiacs, and then a pick a card in each zodiac. you can go find your zodiac sign there. each zodiac signs reading will consist of the general energies of the month and your advice, your manifestations of the month and things you need to focus on, then you can pick from 2 groups for a yes or no question with some detail.

P I S C E S

(February 19 - March 20)

hii my pisces babies 😋 I see yall are getting your life together :)) good job!! youve come so so far babes, you deserve a hug.

i can feel yall are super tense 💀 💀, takes some deep breaths in and deep breaths out. when you're taking a deep breath out, sigh audibly. this is a scientific method to relax yourself btw :)) this month, yall are going to get COIN. family property and inheritance too. you may be a bit.. unstable this month. this month will move quickly for you. whether that's in a good or bad way, is up to you to choose. are you going to learn that programming language today? are you going to the gym? are you going to finally write that book you've been thinking of writing? it's all up to you. but remember, it's okay to take breaks. your blessings for july are being able to put the hard work and effort in your passions. being able to enjoy the fruits of your labours. you'll be in a much better mindset, you're not going to take shit from anyone. independent asf. yall will be blessed with fighting for your passions. not in a bad way of course. you'll be outgoing and calm. you may get some new friends and even some romance this month. this month, focus on you. it's your turn. face your fears. take those risks. go get that achievement you've been wanting to get but haven't started because you think it'll be too hard for you. your advice for this month is try to avoid fights. start new projects and new things. move to that house you want to. apply for that job youre interested in. maybe communicate with your higher self more. try meditation and grounding too. don't let your fears hold you back.

Extras - -

- moon

- 7 & 0

- june, friday, "date", moon

no limits

never let others limit your dreams. we are born from impossible odds into an impossible world. the chance of us being here right now is basically zero. so when someone has limited views of the world, don't take it to heart. don't let their views bring yours down. dream really big. follow your vision and see where it takes you. find your passions and then chase them. do the things others aren't willing to do. Because when it comes down to it, we are only here a little while to turn the impossible into the possible. so why not go for it?

(-nikki banas)

soar

you were not born to be ordinary. you are so beautiful, so interesting, and so wonderfully unique. you hold dreams and ideas inside of you that no one else has ever thought of, and that the world so desperately needs. you do not need to pretend to be anyone other than who you really are. you were never meant to be ordinary, my beautiful friend. its time to let your wings out so you can finally soar.

(-nikki banas)

yes or no question, pac.

pile 1

No. you need to pay more attention to detail, focus and practice.

pile 2

no.

Ductus exemplo.

- leadership by example.

[igobymamas]

All the beautiful people who follow me.. i wanna wish yall a happy new year. May 2021 bless yall with all the things you want/need.

Imma say it now cus the connection will suck on a hugee dick and i’ll probably be sleeping by the time its 00:00

I appreciate every single one of you🥰🥰

[onecrazysquirrel]

Good morning to you beautiful people, may the blessings of the Lord be upon you and your household; may his light shine in your hearts and may his love fill your lives, may you receive guidance from his holy spirit throughout your days int Jesus Holy Name.

The time 6:22AM the place Dayton Ohio USA the day Thursday December 30, 2021.

It's 41° here but feels like 42° with a high of 53° ending with a low of 42° rain to start the day should end by the afternoon cloudy throughout the day and on into the night.

Street people God love, bless and keep you; may he smile upon you greatly; we're praying for you and we love you too, stay dry this morning and keep your gear dry so you can rest warm tonight.

I slept the day away yesterday, I almost didn't wake up again; I had to fight for hours to keep my eyes open once they finally opened, hopefully right around the beginning of the new year I'll hear from the sleep specialist and get an evaluation to figure out what's going on. Sleeping all day of course I couldn't get back to sleep at night, so I sat up working on a few projects except for a couple hours that I was called into work to help clean; I have an appointment with my therapist sometime today, I'm going to try to grab a nap here in a little bit and hopefully I'll be awake for it this time I thank I've slept through the last couple it seems like we haven't talked in forever.

My new case manager called yesterday to grab the final detail for my m Stay Put packet she submitted my half and the landlady submitted hers yesterday as well, the city planning people said they are going to expedite the process so hopefully we'll know in a week or two what's going on with that. I'm meeting with my new case manager either today or tomorrow I have to check later to reapply for PIPP, that should help with utilities costs and take these hundreds of dollars worth of bills out of the way for awhile and hopefully I can get them caught up. She also wants to do the paperwork for Eastway housing which would bring back my rent subsidy and hopefully ease the landlady's mind and I can't lie it would go a long way towards easing mine as well. These things will hopefully work out rather quickly, I can't take this lady sweatin me too much more I'm already having to fight with everything in me to keep my composure with her.

Moving on...

I've already managed to use all but $100 worth of my EBT food stamp benefits for December and January, no I haven't sold any; I am not starving either, so that is another blessing that I have been praising God for as well as these other things I've been telling you about. I have been thanking and praising him for all of you and the support you've given God bless your hearts and souls.

Well we're down to the wire I set the goal for this campaign at $1000 but I need it to bring in $1100 total. Right now the meter is at $700 so $400 more and I'll be praying for y'all out of my very sketchy memory. I will remember to pray for you though, the holy spirit brings people to my mind and heart frequently to pray for I know that I will include the GoFundMe crowd. That was a lot of words just to tell yall I need $400 I guess, maybe I'll catch that nap after all. I will still be doing the artwork and I also write poems, you can find me on Facebook as One Crazy Squirrel I'll try to grab the url and share it with you in one of my final updates. I have to tell you, I'm gonna miss spending this time with yall to be truthful; I'll miss putting the art together for the daily and I'll miss sharing the daily report. Maybe I'll run a crazy squirrel campaign and see if I can get that small business off the ground, maybe; I'll have to pray about that.

Well it's come down to needing to cover utilities again and a small loan that I drew to pay some on the utilities, that's the end of 2021. I need $400 to cover these expenses so please pray that I am able to come up with it in time, before anything gets shut off or I have anymore banking problems.

I love you through the Lord dear people and I am so glad that we have shared in this together be it through prayer or sending and receiving love or donations this has been a tremendous blessing. Please keep praying for me I will keep praying for you. God bless you all and your households may he smile graciously upon you all...

If you would like to contribute and bypass the fees and processing time that it takes using this site please use one of the following methods. Try it using my code and you’ll get $5. CCRMRMW

https://cash.app/app/CCRMRMW

Earn $10 for signing up after you make a bank- or card-funded payment of at least $5 within 14 days.

Download the app using my referral link: https://get.venmo.com/k3Z8MOTT8lb

[oldgodsasks]

I posted 34 times in 2021

32 posts created (94%)

2 posts reblogged (6%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.1 posts.

I added 125 tags in 2021

#nuzlocke prequel - 26 posts

#pokemon - 25 posts

#hoenn - 25 posts

#team magma - 16 posts

#rayquaza - 11 posts

#groudon - 8 posts

#kyogre - 7 posts

#nuzlocke - 3 posts

#origin cave - 2 posts

#breakfast - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 19 characters

#character reference

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

-SEE THIS MANS A GIANT.

- Padma. As a normal human is 7' tall  which isnt as big as AZ

7 notes • Posted 2021-11-17 15:58:55 GMT

#4

yes go with the suspicious rayquaza dude this is fine

-I also suspect he isnt gonna be back by the end of the day

-SO MUCH RESPECT FOR THE RAYQUAZA BLESSED.

7 notes • Posted 2021-11-24 15:10:58 GMT

#3

~~anyone who hasnt seen any of euthalia's refs (or read hidden swords) wont get this but its funny to me

Inspired by this post

7 notes • Posted 2021-11-25 16:34:59 GMT

#2

(shaymincafe) Rosemary @ Vitomir: So what exactly "lesser magicals" you keep referring to?

Vitomir: Lesser magicals actually aren't too well studied from what I know, which isn't much. I believe there's a myth around my home though, that "Spirits of animals come to the Cave of Origin to be reborn." And it's common belief that they are reborn as these creatures. But they are found in places around the world where the roaming gods are known to frequent. But we see them fairly often compared to other places, being so close to the Cave of Origin. Especially some of the smaller ones. But anyway, they are what we call any creature that expresses some sorta magical power, though it's typically extremely limited compared to that of the roaming gods.

8 notes • Posted 2021-11-17 21:34:02 GMT

#1

-to everyone asking what a rayquaza blessed is, its a coverup thats what it is  XD JUST LOOK AT THIS PAGE -oh. oh boy thats a lot of lesser magicals

-to anyone whos noticed the lack of pokemon. oh theres the pokemon XD though uh the keen eyed of yall may noticed somethin about this

- also HEY LOOK THERES HIS TAIL. and uh. oh?

13 notes • Posted 2021-12-01 14:00:46 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[almasidaliano]

a few of today’s new epiphanies; a dissertation. {pt 1 // 0304.}

telepathy is a beautiful thing really. strange this little experience. i thought i was delirious and honestly maybe i still am. however, i’m in control of how i use that. i understand now, a little more than before. i have a lot to do; few book series in store. i must commit to fluently typing on a typewriter. because of the aesthetic. {the idea is to release at MINIMUM 3 books in various structures; all the beginning of a different series/saga.} i plan to stick to handwriting until my muscles breathe with the memory. every word i write, solidifies the world’ll remember me. and every seed indeed.

thurtherfore, my mouth is not my only gifted piece, you see coupled with my ears- i don’t know how else to be.. blessings are curses too; it the most melocholny ways.. i listen to myself now; not immediately not completely however {i’m prone to self sabotage so we won’t be greedy😂} - only up from here ; just as soon as we find it again. :$ if everyone is truly listening how are things as they’ve formerly been? let that sink in..

so am i wrong; for trying to preserve, something that took every level of my existence to procure? seeing as it took every level of her existence to preserve; long enough to see the top; i didn’t expect the drop.. there’s power in having nothing to lose - expect i didn’t want to be who i was around your family because i couldn’t see past the bruising and the scars. i’m a product of my environment , just like you. different environment, so initial different construct. i met you and then all i thought knew was confirmed or surprisingly corrected. still easier said than done simply reframing your ideologies. because wounds aren’t healed, things still have been suppressed and have yet to even be addressed; because time had other plans in mind.. {so do i..}

so here’s the sitch ; i miss my stitch. and refuse to indulge something less than what exists within the bond we built, whilst feeling guilty so then receding into isolation to avoid feeling as if i was compromising myself and that bond. like i only can’t access 3/4 of one piece now. that physical aspect is missing.. that comfort that grounds you. the way her existence was my only addiction; used correctly you can help someone you love remember/find themselves; that’s what she did.

i’m in a place i’ve never been. this is when everything changed. WELL 2021. i say that because i’m way out of my lane; i have never been through nor felt the things i’m experiencing. i’m in a position i wish i had only ever seen on tv, while simultaneously thanking divinity. because - it is better to have loved and have lost, than to never know love at all.

***my ENTIRE romantic life before her was a sham. no shade, peace and prosperity to most. i say that because before i was testing society or fitting the picture; i was chasing platonic love because my friends were my family. they helped me manage and maintain my sanity. but friends aren’t caretakers yk we all get older. and not to say s/o are either; just meaning on the day to day. mental health is not easy, and i was never too much.

my friends and i we don’t touch like that {intoxication don’t apply because everybody extra —- eh only alcohol make the volume rise ; just depends lmao} i mean in day to day casual setting ? no. we may quick hug as the family bond grew, had handshakes and mf theme songs before that😂 my family dont exhibit PDA. when i seen people who were together interact it was usually abusive, toxic, portrayed through necessities {extremities} in some form. tough love has been vastly misconstrued. A PRODUCT OF THAT HERE! lmao however- a late winter night, outside a laundromat changed my life. HONESTLY. infinite times for the laundromat cause listeeennn; changed my life night after night. she touched me; and i could breathe again; and feel it. i could feel everything. the way i had been absent from the present; so numb.. she confirmed the theory she created when our eyes met; she always knew she “won”. and i wasn’t hella clingy; i craved the way she showed affection from the first look, first touch, first kiss or moreso gave me the support and courage to accept. besides her i can’t even tell you when any of that happened. AND she’s the only one w a first look and first touch qualifier lmao.

the bond is infinite. spiritual emotional and mental all intact. it’s the physical; the touch i’m searching now to get back. or get a consistent “this’ll be do” ; like we’ll be cool and shit still too.

confession 1: if i collected every night i ever SLEPT meaning truly rested, alone; i may have 2 years at max though.

whether family, roommate, friend, partner i’ve never spent too many night alone. and developmental years? yea maybe 10 of those single nights are from those.

ever seen twitches? i really think to an extend some darkness can consume souls. another time another place we’ve arrived at the gold; two gems to wrap up this expressions ordinance.

so the plan if not bone marrow when we would have a baby was going to be her brother because of the lineup of genes. i still feel , and want {regardless of semantics it will be} to continuing manifesting towards our dreams. it’s just strange; because well how do you approach any person in this situation? 😂 but how do you go to the brother and say this “ like i want to continue to build on the foundation we pavemented. and i was wondering if you’d mind—“ i never expected it to be under this condition. i think she’d be fine with that .

here’s the cavieat: first everything is the same but everything has changed i stg. he doesn’t look the same as i recall from my birds view . however he reminds me of her so much more than the rest of — eh depends it’s anywho. and it’s strange because i strayed and now i don’t know how to break the ice. and i meant to speak to him at all. and that’s like the most important part lmao. because i wanna know him. because him and i are a lot alike because i can’t really believe the “he’s okay” without talking to him, except niggas real short and vague these days i see lmao. he lost his big sister; i my big brother. full blood. balance. your rod. my brothers keeper. it’s ; i am him in this situation above the other siblings dynamically and i want to help however i don’t want to pry or seem weird. some people just want to be bothered because he also doesn’t talk to me so maybe he doesn’t want to. they have the same kind of light in their smiles he only squints his eyes when he laughs. dimples are genetic and let’s just say thanks yall lmao.

it’s energy. it’s just vibes fr. like —

sometimes; even my mind isn’t a place i’m alone.

to be continued..

-A.

[randomthoughts12]

Sunday, September 19th 2021

So, life has been going fairly smoothly. Aside from the fact that doing online classes suck for me. I find myself undisciplined when going online to ensure all assignments are being done, turned in, lessons ready and watched and reading emails. This adulting this feels overrated. If I had my way and an extra $100,000.00 in my bank account, I would sell vinyl records and all the fixings plus have a stage area for local bands, solo artists to come and sing their songs, with a alcohol/coffee bar, in a modest town shop. But unfortunately that may not be in the cards until I am closer to retirement age. We'll see what the future holds, in the meantime, I'm going to work hard at what I do and I do my best to be on top of my shit, to make money now to hopefully live my dream, in the near future. Yall stay blessed and optimistic.

[pixieandthebull]

Be sure to read all of this post please... . . To "Mother" is: (verb) to give rise to; to care for; to protect like a mother. . . We know there are many types of Mothers out there. Some may not have even given birth to you! Some are no longer here in physical form! Some are earth angels! There is always someone who has given us the mothering, the caring and the love that we need. Now is your time to tell them how much they mean to you. . . Kindness is contagious!! So this giveaway is our contribution to this amazing gesture of kindness to celebrate MOM! . . This beautiful piece of crystal art has been welcomed in 21 countries worldwide! The blessing reads: . . May this home be a place of Love, Tranquility, Harmony, and Joy. May all who enter it and all who depart it enjoy Good Health, Happiness, and Peace. . . Our intention is to give one away to someone very special ... that someone could be the one you love. What do you have to do? . . You don't have to share it (unless you want to and wish to grant others the opportunity to appreciate their Mom) . . You don't have to like the post (unless you want to) . . You don't have to put it in your story (unless you want to) . . All you have to do is comment below 👇 some kind and loving💜 words about the person you would like to give a chance to win this beautiful "House Blessing" crystal art piece. 🦋 . . On Monday, May 3rd 2021 at 3:33 pm EST we will randomly select the comment that will receive this piece as a kind gesture from YOU! AND... you get one for showing love!! . . So... what are you waiting for? Comment below your kind and loving words and if youd like, tag the one you love if they are on IG or FB ❤😍🥰 . . We love yall! Sending blessings to each and everyone of you! 💚❤💜💙🧿🙏🙏 https://www.instagram.com/p/COLYpFbHCs5/?igshid=194qdooju8398

[marrymeleoxxiu]

Some more music to heal the world right now into the year 2021. May yall be blessed into the new year.

[iamrheaalisa006]

Tough year and so are you! Happy happy new year yall! Praying for a smooth 2021 to everyone! Good health, happiness, productivity, healing and peace of mind. Some of us dreamt samelike, live it differently. Let go of what you cannot change and embrace what you can do to be more of a better person. This year has been the most challenging time for everyone. It challenged our trust and faith to others and may still challenge us in the coming years. We are not born the same. Respect differences. Always be kind and always be grateful. Be positive.  Always try to see good in everyone. And always be a blessing to others! To all the people who are a part of my life. Especially my family, my son, my friends. THANK YOU, I will always be grateful to all of youuuuuuuu 😊 Wishing you all a prosperous new year! God bless us all 💜💜💜 https://www.instagram.com/p/CJdzY4RHST6EYERSPFe41gd-7rUQoU_raoLQno0/?igshid=1m7y6p22e7hsu

[pixieandthebull]

We finished! A few touch ups here and there but this space is renewed, rejuvenated and dedicated to healing! If you're like us and see your bath tub as a sacred space of healing, why not renew your space for 2021 and create a new energy for your own self love practices. . . We have plants placed and hung around the tub, one coming soon for in the shower (yes in the shower lol), our crystal art is hung in various spots, crystals placed around the tub that we use in the tub when bathing (mostly the master healer clear quartz, amethyst and rose quartz) which are all safe to use in water but we add others based on our needed energies. . . We couldn't be more pleased with the simplicity of this space. It feels like love! Which is exactly what we've put into it. Pure love! Now we tweak with feng shui cures in mind, invoke a healing intention and enjoy a bath! . . We love yall. We hope this glimpse into our home helps inspire you to dedicate a space for your self love and healing practices. May you be blessed with an amazing 2021! If you haven't read it, please scroll back a few posts to learn a bit about how we clear energies and set intentions for the new year. . . Much love and many blessings!🙏💚💜🙏🥰😍🧿🕉✨ https://www.instagram.com/p/CJj9n0Hn-wY/?igshid=iynyxwez2byw