#MATTY AS PATRICK BATEMAN????
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alwyswnadie · 1 year ago
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MATTY, ROSS, GEORGE & ADAM TONIGHT!!
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squanxh · 1 year ago
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You know what I need? I need to be sedated…
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nowshesdoingitallthetime · 7 months ago
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📸: ladwearingplaid
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healysparis · 6 months ago
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everyone remembers where they were
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joe-spookyy · 5 months ago
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filmbro werewolf on the dog dying trope, american psycho, and how fine christian bale is
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ao3snumberonefan · 1 year ago
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matty healy being dressed up as patrick bateman on stage rn is my roman empire
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vinylandcoffeecollection · 1 year ago
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Really not sure who is the hottest here. Dealing with unexpected feelings, brb.
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anastarchis · 1 year ago
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fckthtgetmoney · 7 months ago
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my favorite pictures of matty healy 11/?
all pictures are from pinterest!
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whimsicalpolitical · 26 days ago
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l0nely-and-aesthetic · 1 year ago
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“And I swear there’s a ghost on this island and his hands all covered in blood”
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childoftheuniverse7 · 1 year ago
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©️team75live via Instagram live
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With Matty as Patrick Bateman, he nailed it cuz this is soooo Patrick Bateman coded lol 😂
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nowshesdoingitallthetime · 9 months ago
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trashycherubx · 1 year ago
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trying to post vid of matty healy as patrick bateman chopping up someone w an axe and coming out w blood from the concert last night but it’s not working omggg
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toomuchracket · 8 months ago
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if you're too shy, part 2 (office nerd!matty x reader fluff)
remember those gigs you and matty got scheduled to cover in part 1? yeah. this is them. enjoy <3
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“hey.”
matty's curls bounce as he looks up at you quickly. a mild sense of guilt gnaws at your ribs when you realise you've spooked him, but it dissipates when he smiles, visibly relaxing when he realises it's you breaking him from his concentration. “oh, hi. you alright?”
you nod, gesturing to the vacant desk next to his. “am i ok to sit here?”
“yeah, of course. no need to ask. here, let me,” matty slides his notebook out of your way; as you lay your laptop down and sit, you can see him biting back a beam from the corner of your eye, and your heart flutters. “was there anything you needed, or…? not that there has to be, you know,” he sits up straight, apology settling itself on that gorgeous face of his. “i didn't mean it like that, i just meant-”
“no, i know, matty,” you smile softly. “there is, incidentally, but also i just wanted to sit next to you.”
there he goes with the blushing again - honestly, you reckon you could make a fortune if you bottled and sold the colour of matty's cheeks when you fluster him. although, you suppose, maybe the colour is only appealing because of whose face it's on.
said face is grinning at you again. “well, feel free, anytime.”
“likewise.”
“i'll take you up on that,” matty's smile gets impossibly wider, before he catches himself and controls it a little. “so, what is it that you need from me?”
the sloppiest kiss known to man. “advice, actually,” you put your glasses on, preening internally at the way matty's breath catches in his throat as you do, and open spotify on your laptop. “where should i start with this band we're going to see twice this weekend?”
matty's face brightens even more - impossible, you'd have thought. “oh. well, do you know any of their stuff already?”
you shake your head. “very bad of me as a music journo, but no,” you smile cheekily. “this is my first time. need you to talk me through it.”
the way matty coughs and tries to pass it off as him clearing his throat at your words is delicious. to be fair to him, he recovers quickly, the only sign of him being flustered the way his cheeks periodically twitch into a smile and back down again. “alright, so… i think i’d probably start with their second album - can i?” at your approval, he slides your laptop closer to him and scrolls down the band’s spotify profile to find the album in question. “their first is good, yeah, but the second one is where they really start to define their musical identity…” he trails off, covering his mouth. 
you blink in concern, leaning into him. “you okay, matty?”
“yeah, i just,” he sighs, then giggles into his hand. it’s maybe the best thing you’ve ever heard. “i realised i was starting to sound a bit like patrick bateman.”
“oh my god,” you snort, covering your own mouth as you laugh. “christ, you were. was this band’s early work too new-wave for your tastes and all?”
“little bit. i think their undisputed masterpiece is album two - literally a personal statement about the band itself,” matty smiles, then winces. “that was embarrassing.”
you shrug. “nah, i like that film. and not just because i think christian bale’s fit in it.”
“i was gonna go as him for halloween this year, actually,” matty says, nonchalantly scrolling through spotify again. “would that be weird?”
fuck. matty in a suit? potentially covered in blood? you have to readjust the way you’re sitting at the mere thought. so, naturally - “i think you should do it.”
“yeah?”
“yeah,” you smile, matching matty’s. “i’d enjoy it, at least.”
“that’s all the convincing i need,” he smiles sweetly at you, then gestures to the laptop. “so, d’you wanna know a bit about their influences before you listen?”
“go on, then.”
“alright,” matty shuffles his chair closer to you; you sit up slightly straighter as goosebumps pass over your body, increasing tenfold when he looks directly into your eyes. from this close, his are warmer than you initially realised, and you have to work extremely hard to focus on what he's saying instead of drowning in them. “to be fair, you weren't totally far-off with the new-wave joke - their music is rooted in post-punk subculture, but more along the melodic, jangly-guitar, early eighties type. you know aztec camera, yeah? convinced i saw you wear a high land, hard rain shirt to work once.”
the butterflies nesting in your stomach flutter at his recollection. “yeah, that's right. same vibe as them?”
“kinda. similar to a lot of scottish and northern bands of that era. which is weird, considering they're all about thirty and from fucking newark.”
“i see,” you nod, smiling at the way matty's twirling one of his curls. “any springsteen influence, then? not to stereotype, but… eighties-inspired music by people from new jersey? seems like there could be connection.”
matty nods enthusiastically. “yeah, great question. i mean,” he puffs air through his lips quite adorably. “lyrically, yeah, and they have quite prominent sax parts in some of the songs that are quite e street band. but the inspiration seems to be mostly melodic post-punk. does that all make sense?”
you smile, leaning on your elbow. “yeah. you're very good at explaining things. i like that about you.”
“really?” matty blushes again. “sometimes i worry that i'm just talking shite, to be honest. i know i've got a tendency to ramble a bit, always have. it annoys people, i think.”
“not me. you're always talking about something interesting. makes me feel good to talk to you.”
he clutches his hands into sweater paws again, smiling. “same. you're a sweet one, i think. m'excited that we're working a bit closer now.”
“nobody else i'd do this with, matty,” you hold out your hand, and squeeze his when he lays it atop yours; a perfect fit, you note. “you're my favourite.”
he genuinely looks like he could cry, softly rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand and speaking even softer than that. “likewise, darling.”
for a second, you do nothing but beam at each other, still tentatively holding hands; it's only when your laptop pings with an incoming email that you break out of your reverie and apart. matty clears his throat. “would you like to know which order i recommend listening to the albums in?”
“please.”
he nods. “the second, then the most recent - which is the fifth, by the way. after that, i think i'd probably say… first, third, and fourth last. that one got a bit experimental, i doubt they'll play anything from it at either of the shows. d'you want me to just make a playlist of that order for you, while we're here?”
“oh, yes please,” you watch him do just that, a slight sense of longing settling itself in your bones when you think of a playlist so sorely him settled amidst all your favourite songs; actually, it gives you an idea. “i've got a final question for you, if that's okay, matty. well, technically two.”
“yeah?” he turns to look at you again, eyes disarmingly caring and focused on you.
“what's your absolute favourite song by the band? doesn't have to be the objectively best one, and you don't have to tell me why. m'just curious.”
matty smiles, the sun breaking through clouds. “that's easy,” he scrolls down the new playlist. “this one. that's my favourite.”
“alright,” you drag it to the top of the song list. “then that's the one i'll start with. and then i'll go onto the matty-approved listening order,” pushing your glasses up the bridge of your nose, you turn to face him. “that sound alright?”
“mhmm,” matty nods vigorously again, wild hair bouncing all over the place; a curl falls over his eye, and he brushes it away before peering up at you through his enviously-long lashes. “meant what i said earlier, you know. i really do think you're incredibly sweet.”
“thank you,” you all but whisper, doing your best to cover your own blushing. “um - what was i saying?”
he smiles. “you had another question, i think?”
“right, yeah. um,” your throat goes dry with sudden nerves, and you try to swallow as inconspicuous as you can to make it better. twisting your fingers together, you look down at them as you speak. “i've still got a restaurant review to do this weekend, and i was wondering if you, like, wanted to go for dinner before saturday’s show? that italian, near camden road station? and you can say no, of course, no hard feelings, but,” you can feel your cheeks burning as you tentatively look up at him. “i'd just like to hang out with you a little bit longer this weekend. i like spending time with you.”
“oh,” matty breathes, blinking as if he can’t quite believe he isn’t dreaming - you hope that’s the reason, at least. he bites his lip, cheeks rosy as he looks up at you with a smile, and nods. “yeah, i’d love that. thank you.”
“thank you, for agreeing,” you exhale, nerves replaced by tingling excitement. “is half four too early? that would give us time to eat, and walk to the roundhouse before doors, yeah?”
“that works for me,” matty nods. he twirls his hair again. “d’you want to just meet at the restaurant? cos that’s the station i’d get off at, camden road. but i don’t mind meeting you off the tube, if you like.”
“no, no, it’s alright. i’ll just get you there - i’m not gonna make you brave the high street when you don’t need to,” you giggle. “especially on a saturday afternoon, christ.”
he huffs out a laugh, but his eyes are tender - so is his voice, when he replies. “alright. i’d do it for you, though, no complaints.”
you believe him. you aren’t sure if you’ve ever seen someone look so sweetly sincere, and it’s fucking your brain up. big-time.
still, you hold it together long enough to reply. “you’re cute, healy, even if i think you’re a bit mad for offering to walk through camden just to get me,” you giggle at the way his jaw drops at the compliment. “you can get me at angel on friday, though, if you fancy? makes sense, if you’re already walking down from highbury.”
“i’ll be there at six,” matty smiles. “i’m excited to hear what you think of the band, you know. i think you’ll like them.”
“well, if you do, then i’m sure i will. you’ve got good taste,” you gather up your laptop and stand, turning to matty with a flirty grin. “speaking of - i like that jumper. you look hot in red, matty. really hot. anyway,” you bite back a grin at the little gasp he lets out. “thanks for all your help, lovely.”
“anytime!” he calls after you when you turn to walk away, deliberately swinging your hips slightly more than usual - you’re convinced you hear a muffled “fuck” before he speaks properly. “and, um, thanks for, y’know, liking my jumper.”
you look over your shoulder and wink, happiness bubbling through your body when you notice matty shifting his gaze from your ass to your face so hastily it’s a wonder his neck didn’t snap. “friday at six, yeah? don’t be late.”
“i won’t!”
and he’s true to his word - when you come up the escalators at angel station at five minutes to six on friday, matty’s leaning against the wall opposite you. he grins, a big toothy eye-crinkling smile that has your heart doing backflips, and waves as you walk over to him. “hi! i like your jacket.”
“oh, thank you,” you self-consciously touch the fluffy collar. “have you been waiting long?”
“not really. ten minutes?”
“that’s not too bad. shall we?” you wander out into the chilly evening air, matty matching pace beside you. “you ever been to a show here before?”
“yeah. what a fucking weird venue,” matty steps closer to you to avoid being run over by a bike, and your heart flutters; you’re actually sad when he moves away. “i like it inside, but-”
“the fact it’s literally in the middle of a shopping centre is insane?”
“completely mental.”
“a really strange bit of urban planning,” you smile, turning to him as you wait at a set of traffic lights. “i listened to the playlist you made me, by the way. even learned some of the words.”
matty laughs. “you like them, then? that’s good. knew you would, though.”
you nod, fighting the urge to grab his hand as you cross the road. “played your favourite song about ten times on loop. i had no idea it was going to end up being a love song, by the way…”
“yeah, the title’s a bit misleading.”
“...but it really works. i can see why it’s your favourite,” you gently nudge your shoulder into his arm. “like i said the other day, you’ve got good taste.”
he looks down at the pavement, smiling, then at you. fuck, he’s so cute. “so do you, darling,” he says, voice so soft you can hardly hear it over the bustle around you. “i really like your outfit.”
the hour spent upending your entire wardrobe onto your bed to pick it out was absolutely worth it. “thank you. i figured, y’know, since i’m technically not working,” you smirk at him. “i’d make the effort for going out. tomorrow, though, when i’m on-shift? not a chance.”
“you’ll still look great, i reckon,” matty says, easy as breathing; ironically, the ease of his words practically stops your own breath. “and yeah, i s’pose you really aren’t working tonight. when was the last time you went to a gig just for fun?”
“it’s been a while,” you admit. “and i miss it, actually, getting to just experience new artists without having to analyse and critique them. that’s part of the reason i’m excited to be going tonight.”
“i get that,” matty nods as you turn into the venue entrance. “and what’s the other part?”
you grin. “the fact i’m going with you.”
once again, matty blushes. “if you keep throwing me off with compliments the whole night, i literally won’t get any work done. but thank you. m’glad you agreed to come with me tonight.”
“i’m glad you asked,” you turn to him once you join the line to get in. “and you’ll get your work done, don’t worry. i promise to be good.”
for the most part, you actually succeed at that, and it’s largely due to how bloody good the band are. for all the venue is in a weird place, it really is a decent one - it’s so intimate that even you, who only started listening to the artists onstage this week, feel like a proper part of it. and, free of note-taking responsibilities, you can allow yourself to be made giddy by the coloured lights and loud melodies, to dance as best you can on the sticky floor, to sing along to the scraps of lyrics you recognise and join in the backing vocals with the rest of the crowd. that was always your favourite part of a concert, the moments where hundreds of voices just worked as one, identities dropping and merging to prioritise the music; it’s nice to be in it, for once, rather than doing your best to observe and capture and convey it in words. you leave that to matty, and mostly leave him be aside from the odd smile and laugh, always responded to warmly by him.
that is, until they play his favourite song, and the boy beside you becomes impossible to ignore.
the singer says something about this being the last song of the night, before beginning the now-familiar melody on his guitar. matty’s head snaps up at the first few notes, and his notebook snaps shut; you turn to him at the noise, smiling at the excitement on his face, even more radiant than usual under the pink lighting. he looks at you with a matching smile, curls bouncing as he nods along to the music, before turning back rapt towards the stage. you follow suit, soaking up the lyrics about wanting and yearning and falling fast for someone - hearing those words with that person beside you sends goosebumps shooting across your skin and sparks through your nervous system, the same kind of kinetic energy crackling in the space between you and matty. it’s so strong you have to uncross your arms, stretching your fingers out by your side. mortifyingly, they brush against the back of matty’s hand, and the sparks become shockwaves; not so much born out of fear, but of the same kind of longing the singer is musing about. he doesn’t seem to mind the contact, hand staying put despite it, and something in your brain just says fuck it and snaps.
tentatively, more so than you think you’ve ever been before, you loop your fingers around matty’s, and you hold his hand. and, quite honestly, nothing has ever felt quite so right as this. the shockwaves in your nervous system fade to a gentle hum, kinda like the reverb from the speakers, with only a tiny jolt when matty gently squeezes your hand in response.that’s how you stay for the rest of the song, hand-in-hand facing the stage, both of you - unbeknownst to the other - smiling contentedly and mouthing the lyrics to the song you relate to.
it lasts a sickeningly short amount of time, though - as soon as the song ends, you and matty are all but pulled apart by a group of kids running towards the stage, shouting about setlists and drumsticks and god knows what else. matty chuckles, walking backwards towards the exit so he can talk to you. "that was good.”
“yeah,” you agree, although you’re not sure what he’s specifically referring to. “liked it a lot.”
“me too.”
there’s comfortable silence as you weave your way out of the venue and onto the street. you turn to say a reluctant goodbye to matty, but he beats you to it. “i’ll walk you to the station.”
“are you sure? you’ve got a bit of a walk in the other direction, matty.”
he shrugs. “it’s a nice night. i don’t mind.”
“cool,” you do your best to keep from smiling at the thought of an extra five minutes with him. “thank you.”
“s'alright,” matty smiles, leading the way down the street. “i've had a lot of fun tonight.”
“yeah, same here. they're really good!”
“aren't they? i'm excited to see their set tomorrow, see how it compares,” he hums happily. “i think this is gonna turn out to be a really good article, you know.”
“so do i,” you beam at him. “and i must say, i'm enjoying the process for this one much more than i have in a while.”
he giggles, and you have to fight the urge to hold his hand again. “well, if you think about it,” matty rubs his thumb over his bottom lip quite attractively. “it makes a lot more sense for us to do gig reviews together. music is something to be shared, after all, and live music especially, and so are our reviews - we probably get a better sense of it all if we're not by ourselves, don't you think?”
you don't even bother trying to hide how enamoured you are when you look at him. “i love the way your brain works, matty.”
“oh, shush,” he clutches the sleeves of his jacket over his hands, but beams anyway; it drops from his face when he notices the tube station sign up ahead. “well, i suppose this is where i leave you.”
the melancholia in his voice makes your heart sink. “yeah, i guess,” you sigh. “but not for long, though.”
“true,” matty's face brightens, and he reaches to take your hand and squeeze it gently. “thanks for coming, darling. i had a lot of fun.”
“thank you for having me,” you squeeze his hand in return, smiling at the way he looks down at your connected fingers in wonder. “text me when you get home?”
“of course. you too, please.”
“i will,” you let go of matty, pausing before you turn to walk away; quicker than your brain can convince you otherwise, you lean up to press a kiss to his soft cheek, before winking at his dazed expression and turning towards the station. “see you tomorrow, lovely.”
“bye,” comes the soft, delayed reply. you turn back to wave once you reach the escalator, then smile giddily to yourself the whole way home.
in fact, you don't think you stop smiling giddily for the rest of the night, or the next day; just the knowledge that you're going to see matty again keeps you in a state of sunniness, has you dancing around the flat and serenading your dog, who just looks at you like you're insane. a tiny part of your brain agrees with her, but how can you be expected to help it? you haven't been this excited to go on a date with someone in a long, long time.
well, it's not a date, officially. but walking into a dimly-lit italian restaurant with matty in tow, him taking your jacket and pulling your chair out for you like a perfect gentleman? it fucking feels like it. you wish it was.
even more so when he takes his own jacket off, revealing A) a short-sleeved shirt in the same colour of red you told him he looked hot in the other day, worn slightly open over a white tank; B) almost-unbelievably muscular arms; C) tattoos littered up said arms, and one on his chest just peeking out suggestively.
jesus fucking christ.
you can’t help but stare at matty, mouth agape, as he sits down. he giggles nervously when he notices. “what?”
the words leave your mouth before you can even think about stopping them. “matty… do you know how hot you are?”
he does the adorable blinking thing again. “you think i’m hot? me?”
“um, yeah, i have eyes,” you giggle, cheeks burning. keep it together, you stupid slut. “i didn’t know you had all those tattoos, actually. why don’t you show them off more?”
matty shrugs. “sometimes, people think if you have lots of tattoos, you’re like, i don’t know… scary, or unapproachable,” he opens the drinks menu. “that’s not the impression i wanna give off, you know? especially at work. like, you know me, i’m quite soft and quiet. i just think the tattoos look sick.”
god, you want to eat him alive.
“i understand,” you nod, leaning on your elbows. “and i also think they look sick. kinda sexy, i’d say, to be honest. anyway,” you bite back a smirk at matty’s flustered expression. “what sort of drink are you in the mood for?”
“oh, well… i don’t know, actually,” matty scans the menu, then meets your eyes. “i’m new to this sort of reviewing. what do you usually do first? talk me through it,” he must mistake your wide eyes after his last statement for horror, instead of slight arousal. “please.”
“okay. can i see the menu, please? right, fab, thanks,” you hold it open so you can both see the drinks list. “shit, this is extensive… reasonably priced, would you say?”
“for this part of london? yeah.”
“i agree. right,” you look at him, and the concentration with which he looks back almost throws you off. “because we haven’t picked out food and don’t know about flavour palettes yet, i’d avoid wine for the time being. anything too flavoured, actually - i reckon our best bets are either some sort of fairly neutral cocktail, or a spirit and clear mixer. you know, vodka soda, a g&t, that kind of thing.”
matty nods. “makes sense.”
“yeah. the exception to all of that, in my opinion, is champagne,” you smile. “but if i start drinking it, i won’t want to stop, and if i kick the arse out of this meal on the work credit card then marianne will kick mine, so…”
he laughs, and the warmth of it goes straight to your stomach. “classy girl,” he smiles, laughing even harder when you make a face. “well, i think you are. and,” he points at the menu. “i also think we should have negronis.”
“nice. alright, let’s move on to food,” you open another menu. “oh, thank god we came here so early - this decision might take me a while. sorry.”
matty smiles, the tenderness in his eyes only exacerbated by the flickering candlelight. “that’s alright, darling. we’ll take all the time you need. well,” he winces. “maybe keep it within the two and a half hours we’ve got until we need to leave for the gig. although i s’pose we could stay here another fifteen minutes if we got a taxi.”
you wave insouciantly. “we’ll be on time. and you’ll have fun, too. promise.”
“oh, i don’t doubt that.”
and you really do have fun, despite having to constantly remind yourself that you’re not on a date and are in fact at work. the two negronis you each have over the course of the meal continue to coax matty out of his shell - and thus, get you to fall even harder for him than you already have, which to be honest you didn’t think was possible after seeing his tattoos - to the point where he’s affectionately taking the piss out of you for stealing forkfuls of his dinner “for journalistic purposes”. but, all in all, he’s completely fascinated by the process of forming your review, taking interest in the subtleties of what makes somewhere good versus great, and marvelling at the breadth of your culinary knowledge (which you’re actually very proud of, being self-taught and all); he’s still raving about it as you walk - with plenty of time to spare, mind you - along chalk farm road towards the roundhouse. “i actually don’t know what i’m more impressed with, you or the food. genuinely. you’re incredible. and to think i was going to make you soup!”
you frown. “past tense? why?”
“you know too much about food. i won’t be able to impress you.”
“matty,” you turn to look at him, wide-eyed and crestfallen. “that’s not true at all!”
he scoffs, but not harshly. “come on, babe,” the nickname does something funny to your stomach. “i’m not upset about it, just thinking realistically. how is my nana’s carrot and coriander recipe gonna stack up against michelin-starred minestrone, or whatever? not at all, that’s how. and that’s alright!”
“matty. matty - alright, fine,” you clear your throat, stopping and standing with your hands on your hips. “matthew. listen to me, and listen good, yeah? right,” when he nods, blinking those pretty eyes, you continue. “soup is a whole different thing - in fact, all domestic cooking is, especially if you’re making something for someone you care about. i don’t want to be impressed by the technique, i want to be nourished. cared for. dare i say, healed. and, in that regard, i have no doubt that your nana’s recipe would fucking decimate any posh restaurant soup. alright?”
he nods, shyly peeking through his eyelashes. “alright.”
“thank you.”
the walk continues, silent for a few minutes until matty talks again. “you know,” he says, smile audible in his voice. “i didn’t think i’d find being lectured about soup sexy. and yet…”
“oh my god, stop it,” you giggle, although you’re simultaneously fighting the urge to skip along the path and secretly filing that piece of matty information away in your mind. just in case. “thanks, though.”
he shrugs, smirking. you’re into it. “just telling the truth. it’s my job, after all.”
“and here i thought you were flirting with me,” you smirk back. “shame,” you wink, speeding up slightly towards the venue; you drop into serious mode when you see several different door queues. “shit. where do we go, with the press passes?”
matty hums, looking around. suddenly, he takes your hand, gently leading you to a side door; you’re quite content with this, a sort-of fuzzy feeling overcoming you, so much so that you barely register him talking. “here we are. you ready, darling?”
you nod happily at him. “round two. let’s go.”
the night, at first, progresses a lot like the previous one - you spend the opening set dancing, singing along to the songs you know pretty well by now, leaning in to talk to matty about any discrepancies you see in performance between both nights while he diligently takes notes. when they close with his favourite song, again, you’re slightly dismayed that he continues to write, and you can’t repeat the hand-holding; pretty much as soon as you’ve thought that, though, matty leans into you to rest his head on yours and sing along to the lyrics, and the room seems to get brighter. out of both desire and necessity (you know how clumsy he is), you wrap an arm around matty’s waist, and you swear you can hear him smile. it’s warm, sweet, intimate without being weird, and you really don’t want to let go of him. ever.
eventually, once the song ends and the house lights come up in the break between sets, you do, pulling your notebook from your jacket pocket with a sigh. matty straightens up, stretches with a groan that should not be as attractive as it was to you, and smiles. “pasta tiredness hitting you too?”
“little bit,” you wince. “maybe dinner then dancing was a bad idea.”
he shakes his head. “nah. it’s been fun. i’ve really enjoyed it.”
“i’m glad to hear that,” you smile at him. “wouldn’t mind making a habit of it, actually.”
“really?” matty beams. “neither would i. maybe we can pitch it to marianne as an actual segment. like, restaurant pairings with gigs, potentially highlight local places near the venues we go to. yeah?”
it’s a fucking great idea. he goes all bashful when you tell him as much. “cool. we can maybe see her about it on monday, if she’s in.”
you nod. “of course. come and find me on monday morning, and we can come up with a proper pitch while we get this piece done, alright?”
“‘course,” matty nods, smiling when the lights drop and the audience scream. “right, i’ll leave you to your notes.”
“cheers,” you reply, reluctantly turning towards the stage. it isn’t that the gig is bad, at all - as you wrote in your notes, the band are talented, charismatic, well-rehearsed. it’s just extremely difficult to focus on them and your notebook when you have the boy of your dreams beside you, close enough to touch and kiss and dance with, singing along happily and doing a dorky little two-step that makes his hair bounce quite beautifully. every so often, the urge to turn and smile at him becomes too much to resist, and matty goes visibly - adorably - pink under the stark white lighting every single time he makes eye contact with you.
by the time the gig ends, you’re dead certain: you are down so incredibly deeply bad for matty healy, and you need to tell him as soon as possible.
as it turns out, the opportunity for that happens extremely quickly once you’re both out of the venue, talking and laughing and dissecting the show even further than you did in your respective notebooks as you leave, and it’s so romance-media smooth that you genuinely think a higher power might be involved. perhaps an apology from the universe by having a group of teenagers push you and matty apart at yesterday’s gig, this time a group of them push you closer together, bolting past you and screaming about catching the bus home - matty tugs you into him to stop you being completely bowled over, and turns so the two of you are right next to the building instead of in the firing line out in the open. his hands are warm against your waist and lower back, and so is his neck under your clasped hands; you have no recollection of putting them there, but you sure as shit aren’t going to move them anytime soon. if you did that, you’d further the distance between you, and why on earth would you want to do that, when you’re so close you can’t tell whose breath cloud is whose and the little flecks of gold in his dark eyes are visible to you for the first time?
no. you’ll stay as you are, thank you very much.
“you know that thing we were going to pitch to marianne at work on monday?” you whisper, heart pounding as you notice matty’s eyes flick to your lips. “the thing we want to make a habit of?”
“yeah,” matty breathes, the words so close to your lips you can practically taste them. “what about it?”
your lips part, and you take a shaky breath before you reply. “well, the thing is,” you bite your lip, and his pupils dilate. “i don’t think i want it to be a work thing, matty.”
a beat passes before he responds. “neither do i.”
thank fuck.
your eyes close in contentment. “matty?”
“yeah, darling?”
you reopen them, looking up at him - for the probably millionth time in two days, you don’t bother trying to hide the feeling in your gaze. “kiss me.”
that gorgeous face above yours cracks into a smile. “alright.”
and he does.
it’s exactly how you imagined he would be - a little bit sloppy, tentative with tongue, but so eager and giggly and just so caring that it doesn’t matter. on instinct, your hand roots itself in matty’s curls, and the little whine he lets out is probably enough to fuel your bedtime fantasies for a fortnight by itself. you smile into him, tracing your tongue around his lips before sucking on the bottom one and releasing it slowly. your head is spinning, from matty more than lack of oxygen, and you honestly don’t think you’ve ever been happier post-kiss in your life.
there’s a happy silence for a minute, save the two of you gasping for breath, broken by matty kissing you quickly again and grinning. “hi. and, also, wow.”
“indeed,” you beam up at him, gently twisting those pretty curls around your fingers. “you might’ve figured it out by now, but… i like you, in a more-than-platonic sense.”
“the kiss gave it away, yeah,” he giggles breathily. “i take it there’s no policy at work about making out with your colleagues? or, y’know, taking them out on actual, unrelated-to-work dates?”
“no such thing.”
matty smiles, pulling you in for another kiss. “well, thank christ for that.”
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lottiecrabie · 1 year ago
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patrick bateman smut? hey. Hi. um. Patrick bateman smut pls? heyyy queen lol American psycho smut when hahaha (please)
sorry for the last prank guys i was in a mischievous mood (when am i not)
the basement is drenched in a red, soft light. over the lamp, a lacy shawl lays, orchestrating some moody, spooky vibe. a tired witch hangs from the door. on each stair, a small plastic pumpkin stares at them. through the floor, the resounding thumps of feet jumping up and up, as well as the on-key pop music, echoes your heartbeat. thump. thump. thump. matty stares at you like a predator.
there’s something glinting in his teeth, a sort of edge to the shape of them. his striped suit fits him perfectly. his hair is slicked back. he’s all proper, if not for the blood splattered over his face, and that ax. his chest rises with his deep, quick breaths. his eyes darken.
‘sorry,’ you try to say, though your lips crack up and it doesn’t sound very honest. in your hands, an open packet of fake blood stains your palms.
matty arches an eyebrow. there’s danger in just that. ‘are you?’
‘it fits your costume.’ matty hums lowly, taking a step towards you. that prey instinct in you, half stress and half desire, takes a step pack. your grin slackens on your mouth. he takes another. ‘it was just a joke.’
your legs hit the back of the beat-up couch. you stumble on it, catching yourself on the dusty pillows. he towers over you, maniacal twinkle in his eyes. the gentle caress of your face, stroking down your cheek, surprises you. like you expected something to toughen, to hurt.
‘are you gonna make it up to me?’ he whispers. you nod fervently. ‘yeah?’ he pouts, condescending. ‘how?’ you’re robbed of words. he knows this.
he grabs the bottle of blood, holding two weapons in each hand. you expect it when the blood hits you straight in the chest, trickling down. you gasp still, cold and wet and dirty. he grins, a little proud, and there’s something sick in you that preens at that.
‘you’re gonna let it stain like that?’ he says, and suddenly you’re pulling out of your pink dress. you’re in nothing but your underwear; the blood drips down your breasts, droplets falling on your stomach and lap.
matty makes a low noise, kneeling down and catching a breast in his mouth. his hand paints the other, spreading the blood just to lick it all up. he bites meanly at your nipples, prickle of pleasure-pain blooming. you moan, head thrown back on the pillows.
his mouth is bloody when he lets your tits go, grinning up at you. ‘d’you want me, sweetheart?’ he says, and he again knows. ‘like this?’ he looks down to himself, the twisted image he’s showing off.
you bite your lip. he tugs it out, blood smearing on your mouth. you lick it off, nervous. his hand parts your legs, hot and decided between your thighs. you shiver, spreading them for him, giving him the answer in ways that aren’t so concrete, so embarrassing.
you ready for a tough, callused finger at the center of your underwear. shake just from the sheer need of it. instead, matty raises his fake ax, grazing the cold metal on the inside of your thigh, just to push the wooden handle against your core. you jump, gasping, moaning from the contact.
‘matty…’
‘grind.’ he’s fatalistic. your hips follow order, rolling and bucking against the ax, hot shame dripping with ecstasy. you dig your nails into the couch, moaning and mewling at the pleasure, at the wood, at the dark look on his face as he watches you.
his head bends down, revering, kissing up your goosebumps-thighs. the blood from his lips follow, a lick of blood to mark you, to own you.
you draw in a hot breath, shaking, feeling that sick pleasure build in you.
‘you’re a naughty girl,’ matty whispers against you, and you vaguely shake your head at that. ‘you think you deserve to come?’
‘please.’ matty snorts. he throws the ax away, unimportant now that it’s out of his hands, out of your thighs. you make a moan of disappointment, rocking against nothing uselessly. he laughs at that.
he stands up, pushing you back on the couch until you’re lying for him. his hand tugs your panties off, thrown beyond the world that means something too. you’re open and naked and vulnerable, and he’s kneeling above you, fully clothed and bloody. there’s something unhinged about the knowledge, the sight. something that mixes with the lust, taints it.
matty unbuttons his pants and draws out his hard cock, but that’s as far as he’s willing to undress. he strokes it once, twice. arches an eyebrow. ‘i don’t know if you’re ready for me.’
‘i am,’ you nod, desperate. your legs spread open for him, a traitorous squelching noise following. ‘fuck, i need you.’
‘you’re so fucking dirty.’ he tuts, reaching to the floor. you try to look over, curious. ‘would let me have you anywhere, as anyone, right? even this.’
‘yes.’
matty springs back up with the bottle. he splashes the remainder of it over your body, fingerpainting it over your belly, your thighs, your wet cunt. you gasp as he brushes your sensitive clit, not giving you what you need still. he takes a red hand to his cock, pumping it once, twice, then enters you.
you gasp, clutching his hip as it snaps into you, over and over, a brutal tempo that has your mind deliriously spinning out of your ears. you moan and cry and curse, and all he does his breathe heavily in your ear, laughing every time his name slips out.
a hand covers your throat, owning and strong. you shake under him. he’s delighted, so fucking amused as he presses into your neck until thoughts fly away. your lips hang open, the sound of his name dried out.
‘this is how we treat bad girls like you, isn’t it?’ you try to nod or say yes, but his cock fucking into you and his hand choking you are all too much to make anything coherent. you claw at his skin, vengeful. matty tsks. ‘not that it fucking works. you like it too much.’
you laugh, rolling your eyes back. matty presses a free hand to your clit, rubbing away. ‘gonna brat out all the time now, is that it? so you can get fucked filthy like you want?’
to give you a chance, he releases your throat, blood rushing back to your head in one overwhelming wave of euphoria. your fingertips tingle as you gasp for each mouthful of air, grinning slackly. matty smiles in your neck, biting there.
‘gonna say sorry, brat?’
‘sorry!’
matty hums. ‘why don’t i believe you?’ he pinches your clit, making you clench around him.
you pout, crying, ‘i’msorryi’msorryi’msorry.’
his dark eyes are ruthless. ‘why don’t you beg for mercy?’
everything is too intense. tears fill up your eyes as you grip him between shaky hands, moaning and screaming. ‘please, matty. i need— fuck, it’s too—‘ you throb around him. his thrusts are mercilessly, snapping incessantly. his work at your clit is diligent, knowing just how to get you dumb and wrecked. ‘god—‘
‘there’s no god here.’
‘matty.’ he twitches inside of you. you blink up at him, eyes wetting with euphoria. ‘matty. matty. matty. please. matty.’
tears stream down your face. he groans, bending down to lick some, fucking harder just to pull some more pathetic cries out of you. his hand presses into your cheeks. ‘you’re so fucking pretty when you’re ruined.’ he grins. ‘i love it when you cry.’ somehow, this has another strike of euphoria hit you.
‘i’m—‘ you feel the taste of ecstasy on your lips. you can’t hold on any longer. ‘matty, i need to—‘
‘come, angel.’ with a scream, you fall apart on his cock, washed away on his dirty couch.
he follows behind soon after, pulling out and stroking himself until ropes of cum hit your bloody tits. he pants above you, staring down at the mess of your body hungrily.
a hand strokes through the blood and cum, painting your skin like an artist. matty brings his hand over your mouth, lingering just far enough that you have to tilt your head up to lick it off his palm. ‘there’s my good girl,’ matty whispers. you smile up at him, proud. dirty hand strokes your hair. that same beating danger shines in his eyes as he peers down at you. ‘catch your breath and then you can clean my cock too.’
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