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doc-pickles · 4 years ago

Text

it’s nothing funny just to talk (p. 1)

What happens when you text that random number graffitied on a bathroom stall in your favorite bar? Jo Wilson is about to find out. - In which Bar Princess and Doctor Evil Spawn meet via text.

More Jolex on your timeline because y’all seemed to love what I posted before! Also I’ve posted this whole piece on AO3 as well so it might look familiar.

this idea came to me in a fever dream and i am not sorry that y'all have to deal with it. 99% of this fic will be in "texting" format, so be prepared for that.

Jo is regular Alex is italics

Saturday 11:04 PM

heeeeey is thiss doctor evil?

I gotta say ur phone sex namee needs sum weerk

u soud like a comic book village

fuck

village

VILLAIN

Who the hell is this? And how did you get my number?

i’m just a girl at thee bar!!!!

Joe’s Bar?

noooooo

i’m at enerlad city bar

You didn’t answer my question.

u asked a quesitoon?

whata was it?

i’m goos at takifjg tests

How’d you get my number?

it qas in the bathrooom!!!

it said “for a good tiem txt dr evil spawne”

so I did

I am ready to havee fun

You’re drunk, obviously, and I’m going to have to kill Cristina for putting my number up.

ooooooh is thatt ur girleifnd?

hirlefiend

girlfriend**

Wow you’re really gone. And hell no, she’s my roommate. One of them.

ooooh how many do u hav

roomees not girlfriends

Three. Two girls and a dude.

intereeesting...

well it’s tome for fireball shoots

steph is yeeling at me 4 txting too much

goodbey doctor eviel apawn!!

Oh lord. Tell Steph you need water. Or an IV.

I’ve got her. she’s throwing up on her shoes. thanks doctor. - steph

Sunday 10:11 AM

You know you’re pretty funny, Bar Girl.

jesus christ what fucking time is it?!

10 AM

I’m assuming you have a massive hangover.

hold on I can’t hear you over the sound of me vomiting

TMI as the kids say these days.

what’re you a grandpa or something??

No I just don’t know how to use text lingo. Except WTF. I know that one very well.

quick question

who the fuck are you?

Dr. Evil Spawn. You found my name graffitied in the bathroom of Emerald City Bar.

holy shit

I thought I dreamed that... WHAT THE FUCK

Nope. I’m real.

holy shit i’m so sorry

my texts were so annoying

Who hurt you? I mean you were shitfaced, I’m assuming someone broke your heart into tiny pieces.

the opposite actually, I was at a bachelorette party

not mine, i’m so single it hurts

Ahhh that makes sense. So you got shitfaced in solidarity?

exactly you get it

you seem like you’d be the DD at a bachelorette party

Well seeing as I’m a dude I don’t do Bachelorette parties.

Well I did go to one, but that’s a different story.

hmmm you seem like a very interesting man doctor evil spawn

going to bachelorette parties, living with women who aren’t your girlfriend

OMG ARE YOU DATING THE GUY YOU LIVE WITH?!

George? No absolutely not. And before you ask, my other girl roommate is gay.

so you’re single?

i’m only asking so when you murder me the police have as much information as possible

Haha very funny. I would be a terrible murderer.

you didn’t answer my question

Fine. Yes I’m single.

i’ll note that in the “serial killer file” i’m building

gotta go, I have to do work :/

Have fun, don’t die.

Sunday 8:38 PM

Arizona is trying to set me up on a blind date.

who’s arizona?

My gay roommate. She wants me to meet this ��bubbly blonde” she knows from her pilates class.

ahhhh. why don’t you go?

Bubbly blonde is not my type. Sounds like she’ll spend the whole date talking about how much she loves dogs or her knitting hobby.

Plus she does pilates, that tells me more than enough.

you’re making some good points. I don’t pity you.

You better not. How was work?

the longest day of my life

it was just paperwork, I don’t actually work on the weekends

What do you do?

hmmmm that’s exactly what a serial killer would say

i’m an elementary school teacher

Oh so you sing and dance and paint pictures all day?

what school did you go to?

were working on multiplication tables and basic photosynthesis tomorrow

Wow that sounds like a lot.

it’s may, ive got three weeks of school left so I have to cram all the crap we didn’t cover into these last few weeks

Ahhh that sounds more accurate.

and what do you do?

besides text strangers that you don’t know

I’m a pediatrician.

oh so you make kids cry and wipe snotty noses all day? two can play at that game

Well we both have to deal with snotty noses sooo...

I GET IT!! Doctor Evil Spawn!!

why evil spawn though?

I wasn’t this nice when I started med school. My personality is an acquired taste.

ha! that’s a funny joke.

so if you’re a fancy schmancy doctor why do you live with three other people?

I’m only a resident, not making the big bucks yet. Everyone else is a doctor too.

are they all pediatricians?

No. Arizona is too but Cristina is a cardiologist and George is a trauma specialist.

interesting!! I too live with my coworkers. it’s not fun.

the table is always covered in craft supplies.

Well I can never read the grocery list on the fridge. Stupid doctors script...

oh that’s a classic. you’re pretty funny Dr. Evil Spawn

Thanks Bar Girl.

I gotta go. monday tomorrow and you know how fourth graders can be. night!!

Night .

Monday 9:47 AM

there’s not enough coffee in the world for monday mornings.

Monday 10:52 AM

Sorry I was yelling at the interns. We have a decent coffee cart here. Keeps me alive. Are you texting in class?

no it was recess

now they’re at spanish class

i’m not totally irresponsible

Oh good to know the future of America is in good hands. Teacher Princess is “not totally irresponsible”

teacher princess?

Well, Cinderella lost her shoe, you puked on yours. Same thing.

wooooooooow

that was so uncalled for...

I thought it was funny. Gotta go set a broken arm.

broken arm vs. adverbs... can we switch? have fun lol

Monday 3:26 PM

I don’t even think I know what an adverb is.

how did you become a doctor??

Don’t need to know adverbs to fix a couple broken bones and snuffy noses.

oh darn I should’ve gone to school for seven more years then

Haha. How were the adverbs?

better than expected, grading papers while I wait for my roomies to be done

we carpool, saving the environment and shit

Okay Eco Warrior.

you text like a 60 year old man

you’re not a 60 year old man are you?

No I’m a 28 year old man though

28 a doctor and you’re single? your personality must be worse than you described

I’m a busy man, I don’t have time to settle down. And I have no desire to.

yet you have time to text a complete stranger?

hmmmm interesting...

Ouch, that one hurt Princess.

steph is making me socialize with the other teachers

if I don’t respond, they killed me or dragged me to an essential oil party

Hahahaha

Monday 5:18 PM

Did you get roped into a pyramid scheme?

nooo but therew as wine

I should sotp drunk texting you so often

It makes your presence that much more entertaining. And bearable.

woah woah dude

i’m a gem

I can tell. Elementary school teacher with a heart of gold.

awwww your too sweet tome

It’s a Monday. Who the hell gets drunk on a Monday?

teachers

we deserve it

You’re a teacher and you’re single and still going to Bachelorette parties. You’re what, 23?

i’m 25 and i’m doing greta thanks you very nuch

cnat believe that i’m supplying my perosnal info to a serial killer

What makes you so sure that I’m a mass murderer?

ur weird nickname and ur intimate knowledge of the himan body

Mmm yes well a good amount of women do find themselves screaming around me often. Or under me. On top of me...

omg are you sending me dirty jokes

you’re crazy

What can I say.

Gotta go, I’m on call tonight. Get to bed safe, Bar Princess.

mmmkay thanks Doc

Wednesday 11:29 AM

What do you think is worse: School lunch or hospital food?

hospital food, no doubt

thursday is mac and cheese day here... I could bathe in that stuff

We have Spaghetti Wednesday but that’s the only good thing here.

mmm how depressing

the teachers do a pot luck once a month and that’s always good

the art teacher next door to me makes the BEST blueberry muffins.

Lucky. All I get here is vending machine cookies. Anything interesting happening in the elementary world?

a first grader got lice last week so naturally we all have it now

I had to chop off six inches of my hair

Holy crap. Lice can be vicious, be thankful you didn’t have to shave your head.

it feels like I did, my hair hasn’t been above my shoulders since the backstreet boys were still touring

Wow. I’m glad to know you’re well cultured.

of course I am

gotta go, kids are back from music class

Don’t be too hard on them, they deserve a break every once in awhile.

Thursday 3:06 PM

Incoming Voice Call

“Jenna you forgot your lunch pail. Have a good day!”

“Hello?”

“Hi Mrs. Peters. I didn’t grade Henry’s test yet, I’ll have it tomorrow. Thanks bye!”

“Helloooo?”

“Steph I gotta grab my things, I’ll be there in a seco- oh shit. Hello?”

“Bar Princess?”

“Doctor Evil Spawn? I must’ve butt dialed you, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay I... I don’t mind the interruption. Are you leaving work?”

“Just about, we’re wrapping up the solar system and I have to bring home the diorama.”

“I was never good at the models, I prefer working with the real thing.”

“Oh ho, a man that works with his hands. I can appreciate that.”

“You know now we’re officially talking and we still don’t know each other’s names.”

“Well around here I’m Miss Wilson, but you can call me Jo.”

“Jo. Hmm I like chicks with dudes names. I’m Dr. Karev but you can call me Alex.”

“Well nice to kinda meet you Alex. I’ll talk to you soon, I gotta get out of here.”

“Talk to you later.”

Thursday 4:34 PM

I wouldn’t mind if you were my teacher.

how did I know you’d send me something along those lines

I’m predictable. I’m still calling you Bar Princess.

as you wish doctor evil spawn

I get to assist on a surgery today. Tonsillectomy.

like removing tonsils? that’s awesome

for you, not for the kid

Oh she’ll be fine, she gets ice cream and jello for a week.

okay yeah I might be jealous of her now

id love to be off work for a week and have you waiting on me hand and foot

the ice cream is a nice bonus

You think that’s my job?

well you said you aren’t making the big bucks yet so.... yeah

Keep dreaming. I’ll talk to you later, gotta scrub in.

have fun!!!!

#jolex #jolex fanfic #jolex fanfiction #jo karev #jo wilson #jo wilson karev #alex karev #alternate universe #jolex fic #jo x alex #greys anatomy #greys fanfic #INFJTT #nina writes

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brinesystem · 5 years ago

Text

list, tw

I saw this on someone else’s blog (im not saying names cause idk if its okay to share that info? it was public but still) and it uh

It looked like a good way to kinda, like, have a bit less doubt? or a way to remind myself of whats happening and why i think i have this? idk

Might be triggering so like probs scroll past or something

‘the moods’ existed before i knew about did/osdd

I used to describe them as “it feels like half me, but also half somebody else”

I argue and talk with my own thoughts

Sometimes I talk/argue /aloud/ with my own thoughts

I have to actively fight to /convince/ Fae to talk to people, else he wont. and even when he does, its not how i want it to sound

I cant remember most of my childhood

The /bad/ middle school was when i was either 9 or 10

I knew too much about sex when i was much too young (7, 8)

I get ages wrong (i was 6 in cali, not 8. why do i think it was 8?)

I had a dream about getting raped when I was in elementary school. I didnt fight back. I didnt feel anything at all

I used to hide under desks

I hated my therapist. Its now fear. I dont remember what it was back then

I forget memories I recall, and if I force them back, everything hurts, even if theyre not traumatic

I often forget that I used to forget bad things that happened to me.

Other sex dreams from elementary school

The csa I /do/ remember (freshman). Why did i seek that out. Why did it seem like a good plan

I used to forget conversations daily

I drew myself (sebastian, older brother, nicer) before I knew i was trans. I dont have many memories from before I came out/knew i was trans. (am i an alter?)

Used to daydream for hours due to nerves. Disocciating?

The bathroom incident (middle school. 9 - 10)

How old are you? “16″ i reply this randomly when i am 23. when i was 21. Even when I know I am not

The HS trauma that happened right

I don’t have triggers for my trauma, except sometimes i /do/

Hypersexual, but only /sometimes/

I’m an adult! Except sometimes when my body is much too big and I am much too tall and I only want to curl up and be left /alone/. Except when i am small and fragile and want to have stuffed animals around me and play animal crossing. Except then.

Opinions keep changing, but to set differing ones. (Fashion sense, humor, hobbies, aesthetics)

Scared of dad! Not scared of dad. Pity dad. Could kill dad. Scared of dad! Not s-

Handwriting/Art/Writing style changes a lot (fluctuates between set stops)

Randomly gains accents and loses them. Only happens with two accents even though I know many

Stims change depending on Mood

Cant recognize myself in the mirror, but ideal keeps changing in set patterns (soft lumberjack, fae prince, cutesy, fashionable andro, suited devil)

Fave colors, songs, movies change in set patterns

Numb sensations to VERY INTENSE sensations. Cannot predict

Edible food changes depending on mood, even including safe foods (mac n cheese vs mussels vs ramen, etc)

What is this emotion? idk

Who am i? idk

I know I was bullied. Don’t remember why I know

Trying to think about my childhood makes me panic or get a headache

Super depressed after mental break ; Suddenly snapped out of it emotionally

That one time I slept for 3 days straight

Posture and walk cycle keeps changing

Gets songs stuck in my head that I’m not thinking about

Gets songs stuck in my head that i can’t even hear

Remembers things with no context given (the movie. “which movie” i dont know. “what was it about? who was in it? what was the title? what did it look like?” i dont know)

Bad sense of time, but like, days/hours can = months/years

“so mature for my age”

The Moods can be triggered into appearing, but not always by things I relate to them (ie; Kos and Fae)

Personality test results keep changing. All of them

False memories (the cliff, talking to the old woman about marriage, who knows what else)

Caught off guard by my own thoughts and even words I say (”sehb is gonna be mad at me for this, lol” “ACRRRRRYLICS”)

Most of my childhood memories are actually photos or stories ive heard

That dissociative test where I scored in the middle, but closer to DID than OSDD

Opinion on myself and my own looks varies

Opinion on my past varies

I dont recognize my own voice sometimes (is it changing? or is it my perception?)

Numb regarding pain, but then hypersensitive to it later

Numb regarding loss, skips straight to acceptance

Cant shiver normally, but sometimes can even when its not cold

Cant feel hunger normally, but sometimes can?

Favorite season and holidays change (summer, beach! autumn, cool air! halloween! no, valentines day!)

I dont feel connected to my family except my mum and maybe my youngest sister. These were /choices/ I made

Empathy? Dont know her. Except when I randomly start crying when others are sad, which always comes at different times but similar Moods

Cares about appearance one day, couldnt care less the next

Fave jacket: Green denim! Nope, today fave jacket: Grey hoodie! Nope, today f-

Headaches. So many headaches

More headaches when dealing with trauma

I doubt myself and worry I’m lying. Liars wouldnt do that, right?

Known to dissociate

Forget things mid sentence

Used ‘we’ when talking about myself at random before considering OSDD

Cant dream, except when I can and they dont feel like /mine/

Used to speak aloud with myself practicing words. Was I alone? idk

Loves animals. One of the Moods doesnt care at all about animals, even Wander

Loves video games. One of the moods detests video games

Loves horror games. Randomly feels intense fear from horror games

I know i was bullied, i know dad didnt come home on xmas, i know i moved a lot, i know i was in dc during 9/11, the ocean incident, the doctor incidents, I vaguely recall M(on base friend with older brother) and how she treated me (broke my glasses), i know i had a horrible time during that one year of middle school even though I only remember Two Moments (bathrooms, trailer) but I don’t necessarily have the memories of all of the things I know I dealt with

Memories are like snapshots or still moments, and dont continue

Memories I know effected me emotionally, I feel detached from now, except when i’m randomly Not (the koi, the caterpillar, not punching dad, etc)

Didn’t have friends until second year of middle school, those friends were bad, so were the hs friends

Ignored most things that happened but would randomly become enraged at smaller things that happened to me

The time on base I thought all adults driving by were pedophiles (i was 7. 8. why did i think that. why did i want to goad them? what was wrong with me??)

Keep forgetting memories like 81, but when I remember them theyre hard to get out of my head

“you acted so differently as a kid, what happened”

The Tics in response to stress

Was good at the doctors and then suddenly wasnt at all. Now am afraid

Was fine with bugs and then suddenly wasnt. Now am afraid

The fact that I dont remember typing ‘at all’ on 85

Lost old friend. Didnt mourn, still get a queasy feeling when I think about her/am reminded of her, but not upset or sad usually

Can connect most of the Moods to triggers, traumas, or coping methods, including myself

Reaction to trauma changed literally overnight

Used to love being tickled, now makes me panic (fight/flight)

Can feel when the Moods take something they see into themselves (was told this is normal. i am not faking this, at the very least)

I dont like lying. Fae doesnt/cant lie. Luci /enjoys/ lying.

Used to think solely in images. Now think solely in words.

Can sometimes hear thoughts before i think them, but only my own

Randomly gets worse coordination in turns with moods, and then gains it back after

Too trusting, but then gets in a mood and doubts even my closest friends

People keep telling me what im describing sounds like osdd, even friends who have met some of the Moods

I have an easier time remembering some things when I’m in different Moods

Used to have more amnesia before I started recognizing the Moods (was that me switching out?)

#osdd #osdd1 #Moods

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auburnfamilynews · 5 years ago

Link

Joe Maiorana-USA TODAY Sports

What do we really know about non-Auburn football?

We’re already a third of the way through the regular season, and soon it’ll be slipping into November (and the weather will still be hot). Which among us will also be hot? Who knows!

***IF YOU’D LIKE TO ADD YOUR OWN PICKS, COMMENT BELOW WITH YOUR SCORE PREDICTIONS FOR EACH GAME AND RYAN STERRITT WILL TRACK THEM***

Notre Dame (-13) vs Virginia (O/U 48)

Notre Dame is going to take out some frustration on a good(?) Virginia team, but I’m not sure that necessarily means an offensive explosion. Virginia’s offense is baddddd though, so this may be more of a “smother you with a pillow” style win for the Irish. 27-7 Domers. - Ryan Sterritt

Virginia never deserves success in anything ever again, including against Notre Dame, who I think may have won a moral victory last weekend by possibly exposing a coach in Athens who might just have an issue or two with executing at a high level in big games. Notre Dame 27 Virginia 21 - Josh Black

Well Notre Dame, you ALMOST made me look like a genius last week. The Irish come home and face an undefeated Virginia team. The Cavaliers have narrow wins over the likes of Florida State and Old Dominion as they head to South Bend. I think the Irish will bounce back at home Saturday. Notre Dame 28 Virginia 20 - Will McLaughlin

Notre Dame now has something to prove to the world. I don’t think they’ll take the foot off the gas in this one, or any of their remaining games. They need to put themselves back in the conversation. Notre Dame 38, Virginia 14 - Josh Dub

If Notre Dame wins, maybe jack won’t make us pick any more of their stupid games im not going to watch. Our Lady of Embarrassing Irish Losses, pray for us. Hoos 21 Irish 20. - Son of Crow

Notre Dame played MUCH better than I was expecting and I think are a legitimate top 10 team. But how funny would it be if after that big time matchup where UGA had to begrudgingly admit that maybe ND wasn’t such a pushover if they then got beat by UVA? But UVA doesn’t deserve nice things due to their phony bball title. The Fighting Irish bounce back big. ND 35 UVA 17 - AU Nerd

The Golden Domers showed me something last week. They kept it close against Georgia...that is pretty much it. What I got on offense, I expected, but the defense really impressed me. Either that or Georgia had and off night. The Hoos on the other hand have beaten FSU...so they beat a JV squad. I am pretty sure ND will win but that’s a large cover against a good? team on the road. Virginia and the points and the under. ND 23-14 - Drew Mac

Notre Dame had a solid gameplan against Georgia’s offense, but they couldn’t get anything consistent on offense except for going to their TE. I think UVa got caught eating a LetDown Lookahead sandwich last week against Old Dominion. ND does enough to win at home, but I think UVA keeps it close. Irish 24, School for which Ty Jerome double dribbled 17 (ND wins, UVA covers, UNDER) - James Jones

I know there’s nothing connecting the two, but I really hope that Kyle Guy and his long gums/tiny teeth get to enjoy an epic whipping at the hands of Notre Dame. He apparently writes for the UVA SB Nation site, so write about this one, and tell your double dribble buddy Ty Jerome all about it. Irish 35, Cavaliers 10 - Jack Condon

Washington (-9.5) vs USC (O/U 59)

Washington is a lot better team than they’re going to get credit for after that dumb Cal loss, and despite beating Utah last week, I can’t get on board with the third string quarterback leading the Trojans to another win over a ranked team on the road. It’ll be up to the USC ground game to take advantage of a weaker-than-usual Washington defensive line, but I’m going to take the Huskies here. 30-20 UW. - Ryan Sterritt

Jacob Eason wanted a more refined version of a dog. One who wasn’t bred down to sitting on top of ice as “work”. No he realized he needed to associate himself with a breed that was tough, graceful, and reliable. Shoutout to Jacob Eason, for without him, Georgia may never have gotten their hopes up only to be ripped out against Tennessee in 2016. Without him transferring, maybe Justin Fields doesn’t come to Georgia. Without Justin Fields coming to Georgia, maybe Kirby decides to recruit another star quarterback before and during the 2018 season. And because of neglecting to do so, because you know, Justin Fields is a generational talent, Georgia now has no backup quarterback if Jake Fromm were to catch a horrible case of diarrhea. Also Washington is much better than USC and should win this game. Washington 38 USC 28 - Josh Black

Both of these teams played in Provo against BYU the last 2 weekends. The Huskies rolled while the Trojans lost in Overtime. I think Washington would be undefeated if it weren’t the bizarreness of Pac-12 WAYYYYY After Dark against Cal. I like the Huskies in this one. Washington 31 USC 23 - Will McLaughlin

The PAC-12 is a mystery. Chris Peterson is reliable, though. Well, more reliable than anyone else over there. Washington 42, USC 21 - Josh Dub

Guys I think USC might have it figured out, or at least well enough for the lousy pac 12. That said, Washington is looking better than the Trojans by a wide margin and the dream of Dwag transfers making the playoffs without the Dwags hinges on this game. Washington 35 SC 24 - Son of Crow

It would be a very on brand thing for the PAC-12 if USC were to win this game. They’ve performed better than anyone thought especially given injuries at QB position. But the Huskies first loss came under some wild circumstances so unless the Trojans can get some weather delays I think Eason and company get it done. Huskies 31 Trojans 23 - AU Nerd

Now this is an interesting matchup, and sadly it won’t be on Pac-12 After Dark. Both teams are 3-1 and coming off of nice road wins last week. USC is much better than people want to give them credit for while Washington always seems to have one or two ‘huh’ losses in them. They already got one out of the way a few weeks back to Cal and they play Stanford next week on Pac-12 After Dark. There’s your other loss so they win this one but won’t cover. USC and the points, take the under. Washington 27-21 - Drew Mac

Graham Harrell deserves a lot of credit for keeping the offensive game plan the same with Fink after Slovis went down. What I don’t like is a QB that made some really poor decisions in the second half making his first road start. Washington will be ready for this one. I think you almost have to throw the Cal game completely out for betting purposes. There were so many obstacles in that game that I’m not taking it into account. I think Eason is coming into his own. I may have to create a vested interest in this one. Washington 38, USC 17 (UW covers, UNDER) - James Jones

It’s fun when national powers turn back into pedestrian clubs. People would have killed to see USC end up as a struggling mid-level program a decade ago, and most never thought the Trojans would fall to that point. People now think that Bama won’t ever drop to mediocrity again. It’ll happen. USC, however, is on the way back up, and I don’t have anything to base this on except that I don’t really think Washington is all that tough. Trojans 33, Washington 30 - Jack Condon

Nebraska vs Ohio State (-17.5) (O/U 66.5)

Let’s see... Nebraska struggled with USA, lost to Colorado, and barely beat Illinois despite nearly doubling them up in yards. Meanwhile, Ohio State has been murdering bad teams by an average of 54-9. Nebraska will be the best team the Buckeyes will have faced, and it *might* be the first time the starters play the fourth quarter. Buckeyes 48-20. - Ryan Sterritt

Justin Fields just wanted to be at a program that’s won a national title in the past 38 years. Shoutout to Justin Fields. No shame in wanting to be involved with a winner who knows how to finish. You know what’s impressed me most about Ohio State? They’ve managed to find ways to use Justin Fields to their advantage beyond fake punts. I mean, that’s really hard to do. Finding a role for a guy who was considered neck and neck with Trevor Lawrence for the best HS QB in a decade by doing more than running out with the punt team is really a testament to the creativity of the Ohio State coaching staff. Ohio State 48 Nebraska 17 - Josh Black

All you need to know about how bleh this weekend of games is that College Gameday picked THIS game to go to this week. Buckeyes roll. Ohio State 48 Nebraska 14 - Will McLaughlin

Ohio State cruises towards a big October 26 matchup against Wisconsin. (related – the gameday slate of Ohio State/Wisconsin at 11 AM followed by Auburn/LSU at 2:30 may have some serious playoff implications). Ohio State 52, Nebraska 17 - Josh Dub

I don’t think Ohio state feels a speed bump during this game. The Buckeye offense is dynamic and Justin Fields is a generational talent who was called racial slurs by Georgia fans. While he was on their team. Because Georgia. During this game look for there to be more shots of Scott Frost looking completely lost than shots of Nebraska celebrating first downs. Bucks 48 N 20 - Son of Crow

You know who I think is the scariest team in the country right now? It’s not Dabo’s Tigers, it’s not Ed O’s Tigers, it’s not Saban’s high flying offense, it’s not UGA’s boring ass team & it’s not Hurts’ led Oklahoma. It’s the Buckeyes of Ohio State. Justin Fields was a legitimate challenger for the top spot in the same class as Trevor Lawrence. The fact he decided to go to UGA is still one of the more bizarre decisions I’ve seen but now he’s at a program that will make full use of his skillset. This team also has a ferocious defense lead by arguably the best pass rusher in the country. They are flying under the radar right now due to an unimpressive schedule and the jaw dropping offensive numbers Bama, LSU & OK are putting up right now. But for my pretend expert opinion, Buckeyes are the team to be feared the most right now. There may be some hiccups early but OSU rolls. OSU 45 NEB 20 - AU Nerd

One of my favorite, personal things is to watch Nebraska and wonder when the realization that the Scott Frost system isn’t going to work at Nebraska and then the second realization that they are just an average program in today’s college football will truly set in. It obviously hasn’t yet but I think Ohio State will do all they can to bash them over the head with it this week as they welcome the Huskers to the Shoe. Ohio State and the over. OSU 52-17 - Drew Mac

Ohio State has been in the old “Bama minus anything” zone so far this year. Which of course means that I’m finally looking at making an investment in them, and therefore they’ll struggle with the Huskers. Nebraska rolled up a ton of yards on Illinois last week, but they made too many mistakes. I’m wary of the yearly “Ohio State craps its pants on the road on national TV” game, but I don’t think it’s this week. Ohio State 45, Nebraska 21 (OSU covers, UNDER by the hook) - James Jones

Ever since Scott Frost shot that kid in Breaking Bad, he’s had it coming. Justin Fields is about to Jesse Pinkman this dude and roll up about 400 yards and 5 touchdowns. Buckeyes 40, Huskers 17 - Jack Condon

South Carolina (-2.5) vs Kentucky (O/U 50.5)

Do we have an Anxiety Bowl here? If the Gamecocks drop this one, they’ll fall to 1-4, and will be lucky to get to 3-9 after that. Muschamp is gone in that scenario. Meanwhile, if the underdog Wildcats lose, Mark Stoops will have lost all good will from last season as Kentucky will be sitting at 2-3. Luckily, Kentucky still has likely wins over Arkansas, Tennessee, Vandy, UT Martin, and Louisville on the schedule, but losing to South Carolina would not be a good sign that Kentucky could handle those other games without faltering either. I don’t know, I guess I’m picking Kentucky? No way they hit that over. 23-15 blue team. - Ryan Sterritt

Neither one of these programs have much in the way of success in football historically. Take South Carolina for example. The last major thing South Carolina did was produce a Heisman Trophy winner in 1980. NINETEEN EIGHTY! That was THIRTY-NINE years ago. Most of you reading this probably weren’t even alive back in those days! How could any program that had their last major national success happen during the waning days of the Carter administration ever take themselves seriously? Can’t relate, but man that must be tough. 1980. 39 years ago. And maybe, just maybe, the best a program residing in the SEC East may have just peaked in 1980. You hate to see it. Kentucky 21 South Carolina 20 - Josh Black

I’m not really sure what to think of this game. It looks like Sawyer Smith will play for Kentucky and the Gamecocks have GOT to win this game or things could get really ugly. I don’t trust picking South Carolina since they screwed me in the Survivor Pool Week 1 so give the Wildcats! Kentucky 24 South Carolina 21 - Will McLaughlin

Talk about two schools needing a win. Both of these programs are desperate for some kind of success right about now. South Carolina and Will Muschamp are sitting at 1-3 and folks, the future does not look bright. They need a win or two to help justify a crazy buyout situation for Muschamp. I’m looking at their schedule…welp, Will Muschamp is going to get retained after going 2-10 because they don’t want to fork out $22 Million. Meanwhile, Kentucky nearly beats Florida then gets destroyed by Mississippi State? I think Kentucky is the only one of these programs that can put together a winning gameplan. Kentucky 28, South Carolina 17 - Josh Dub

I need Kentucky to win and I’ll tell you why: we need SCAR to look so bad that no one could possibly think they could upset one of the better teams left on their schedule. That’s when muschamp strikes and keeps his crummy job. This game is going to stink. Kentucky 21 Scar 13 - Son of Crow

The desperation bowl. Both of these programs needs this win in the worst way. Both are dealing with injuries at the QB position. I honestly thought the Kats would put up a bigger fight on the road against State. SCAR was pretty sad themselves in Columbia, MO. Winner of this game might be able to get off the mat and have an ok season with the terribleness of the East. Loser is fighting for bowl eligibility. Think it’s an ugly one but with it being at home the Cocks’ freshman QB does enough. Muschamp 23 UK 16 - AU Nerd

Woof. I went out on a limb for you last week Kentucky and you give me nothing! Frustrating. Oh well. Now the TurfCats return home to take on a reeling Carolina team in the battle of the second string QBs. No true breakdown here as this will not be a pretty ballgame but since the Cats are at home, as I guess they will be the least loser. Kentucky on the ML and the under. Cats 24-20 - Drew Mac

Gross. If Kentucky was at home, they’d be a no-brainer. To be honest, having the line here means Vegas thinks it’s a toss-up on a neutral field. I don’t know that I agree with that. I think Helinski plays well enough to keep SC in it, but I’m going to lean towards UK getting it done. Holding my nose either way. Gambling wise this is a total stay-away. Kentucky 24, South Carolina 21 (Kentucky wins outright, UNDER) - James Jones

FEEL OLD YET? pic.twitter.com/KIenYSLTte

— Karen Howell (@karenehowell) September 27, 2019

Muschamp’s gonna have plenty of time to open up the budding singing career when he ends up getting canned after this season. Boom will be Summertime Lover when he gets to chill on his boat for a season. Then he’ll return to Auburn for round three running the defense once Kevin Steele finally retires. Kentucky 23, Gamecocks 21 - Jack Condon

from College and Magnolia - All Posts https://www.collegeandmagnolia.com/2019/9/27/20886401/staff-picks-college-football-week-5

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