#M!Hiccup's done some pretty cool stuff too
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junkydoodle · 1 year ago
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I'm obsessed with HTTYD in case you never knew,,
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dragonmasterhiccup · 1 month ago
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“Eh you’ll have to worry about getting kidnapped… later. You know, older you has told me some pretty interesting stories about stuff like that.”
“…Thanks, Hiccup. I, I might tell you, but… I don’t know…”
———
“Yep, from your wife.” She playfully wiggled her eyebrows. “From your… parent, and from me, because I’m like, super awesome, and there’s a bunch of other people, too.”
She snorted. “Yeah, lots and lots of fish. I might be able to help with that tomorrow.”
Following him to his desk, she looked down at all the intricate designs.
Nodding, she immediately got to work, taking the piece of leather and moving to cut it.
———
The two teens were up for a while, and by the time everything was done, Danny was practically asleep on her feet. “Well, hey, look… at that, pretty cool—“ She yawned. “—Tail…” Looking back at the room, she gestured to it by pointing in the direction. “You, you can have the room if…you want, I can just drop dead here… Gods, ‘M tired as crap right now…”
"What?!" He gets kidnapped in the future?! "Oh, gods, I...what do I get myself into?!"
He shook his head. "The less I know, the better, right? Besides, you do tell me, at least I assume you do, later on. So, it's fine, really."
-----------------
Hiccup got a bit of a goofy grin on his face, a faraway look in his eyes. "Wife...?" He didn't even hear the rest of Danny's sentence.
I really hope that ends up being Astrid...
"Thanks. I'm gonna need it. He'll need to be busy long enough for me to get the tail on him. I plan to fill a very large basket with fish, but lugging it all the way there myself will be...on the...more difficult side."
----------
Hiccup held up the tailfin in the firelight, giving it a final inspection before nodding in approval. "I think that just about does it!"
Folding it back up, he looked at Danny, his brows furrowing together in concern.
"N-no...you should go, take the room. I can head home...I'm used to the odd hours. But you? You kind of just...woke up here, all of a sudden. It's been a bit of a crazy day for you."
Setting the tail down, he took her by the arm, trying to that back room. "Come on, let's get you situated."
Obviously he couldn't take her anywhere she didn't want to go. Not only did she tower over him, but he lacked the strength to tug her as well.
Not that he would. He didn't want her punching him, especially now that he knew she would, without hesitation.
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silksandcravats · 4 years ago
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Unlocked -Flip Zimmerman x Reader
Summary: Flip comes home to find y/n has failed to follow his instructions, punishment and smut ensues.
masterlist
WARNINGS: swearing, smut, spanking, spanking with belt, bratty reader, dom!flip, Flip is MEAN, slight subspace/subdrop, aftercare
A/N: hi there! i haven’t written any kind of fanfiction in quite some time, and this is my very first piece ever with an Adam Driver character, so I may be a bit rusty. Please let me know what you think/if you’d like to see more stuff like this in the future! Also if you’re a regular in the AD community please come say hi!
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You realised your mistake as soon as you heard the front door twist open. You had been leaning over the kitchen island, lazily flipping through one of the new cookbooks you had picked up last week, hoping to stumble across something new to try for dinner, when you heard your fiance come home early. 
“Doll…” his voice called out sternly, loud footsteps echoed through the house as he made his way into the kitchen. You could feel your heart drop into your throat as you fought off the urge to run for the hills. Between the halt in his heavy shoes coming down against the hardwood floor and the overwhelming feeling of his presence taking over the room, you didn’t have to look up from your book to know he was now standing in the doorway. Gulping as quietly as possible, you looked up to him, deciding to try your luck at wiggling out of trouble.
“Sorry baby.” You pouted, looking up at him through your lashes.
“Third time this week y/n, how many times have I told you, you lock that fucking door when I’m out.” he scolded, finger pointed, brows furrowed as he took a few more steps towards you.
“I know honey, but I just forget. And besides, it’s still light out.” You turned outwards towards him as he continued to stalk towards you, closing the space between the two of you. 
“I don’t give a shit if it’s light out, just this mornin chief had to send someone into the area for a break in. Two fucking blocks away! And you sit here with the damn door unlocked for anyone to just stroll in!” He scolded glaring down at you. 
“But nobody did! I’m fine baby.” you insisted looking up to him.
“Never fuckin listen to me…” He grumbled. Your brows immediately furrowed, his comment set something off inside of you. You didn’t appreciate him throwing such a fit over something so silly. 
“I do too fucking listen!” you snapped, “You’re just being a fucking dick about shit that doesn’t matter!” Regret began pooling in the pit of your stomach moments after the words left your mouth. You looked away but he responded quickly, his hand reaching out to snatch your jaw, your cheeks squished between his thumb on one side and his pointer finger on the other.
“You wanna say that again?” He asked, eyes daring you. You quickly shook your head no in response, not that you could get a word out properly if you wanted to with the hold he had on your face.
“No? My baby done being a little brat?” He practically cooed in the most condescending tone. You nodded. He looked at you for a moment longer before he seemed satisfied and let you go, only to huff out a “over the fucking counter.” 
You hesitantly complied, getting spanked was not how you wanted your evening to go, but you also knew better than to push him any further. You leaned over pressing your elbows against the cold marble top and pushing your backside out towards him, to which he responded by bringing his hand down on your ass once, still covered by the skirt of your dress, but hard enough to make you yelp.
“You know why I’m punishing you doll?” he asked, lifting up the bottom of your dress to expose your panty-clad ass.
“Because I didn’t lock the door like you told me to.” you mumbled, already feeling sorry for yourself.
“And?” he pinched the back of your thigh lightly, causing you to squirm.
“And I was a brat.” you admitted. Suddenly he grabbed a fistful of your hair, pulling your head up by the makeshift ponytail so that your ear was against his mouth.
“You’re gonna learn to watch that pretty little mouth of yours, or I’m gonna find a more creative way to make you sorry that you’re gonna like a whole lot less, am I being clear, peanut?” He practically snarled making your legs shake.
“Yes sir.” you squeaked.
“Good girl.” he said, releasing his hold on you, allowing you to fall forward against the counter again. He yanked your panties down, exposing your backside and your now slick cunt to the cool air. “Open your legs more, no point in hiding now you little slut.” your face turned pink but you complied, pushing your legs apart so he could have a clear view of both your holes. Your stomach practically churned thinking about how you were fully on display in the middle of the kitchen. 
The next time he touches you, it’s his hand cracking down on the left side of your ass, leaving a stinging red mark. Sometimes you enjoyed when Flip spanked you during sex or when you were teasing each other, it could be quite an arousing act when he wanted it to be, but this clearly wasn’t one of those times. 
As his hand came down again, swatting you on the right side, at the extra sensitive spot right where the top of your thigh began, you knew he was trying to hurt you.
On some level, he must have known it really didn’t matter that much that you left the door unlocked half the time. Known that you’d be fine. But your Flip is fiercely protective, always worrying about you, always wanting to keep you safe and secure, he’d probably tug you along with him to the station every day so he could keep an eye on his girl if he could. 
Flip is also admittedly a bit on the bossy side, and as much as you loved his naturally dominant nature, you often found yourself unable to challenge him and be well, a brat. Which is why he now seems determined to punish you oh-so-cruelly until he was damn sure you wouldn’t leave the door locked ever again.
Your groans and whimpers of protest were becoming more frequent, and you were jolted forward by every sharp burning swat that came down against your poor, unprotected skin. 
Finally you received a moment's relief when his giant rough hand took a break from abusing your poor bottom, to run along the slick that had still somehow managed to collect between your legs.
“It would seem I’m not getting through to you at doll,” he hummed, teasing dragging a single thick finger into your weeping cunt for just a fleeting moment, before he pulled to fumble with his belt, a move he only pulled on rare occasions. “Such a little pain slut hmm? I guess I’m being too soft with you.”
“No Flip not that!” You whined, whipping your head around to plead with him the moment you heard his belt sliding out from the loops in his jeans. “Hurts too much, I've already had enough.”
“Do you need to safeword?” he asked genuinely, gazing down at your backside, pressing the back of his hand against your red skin to feel how hot it had become. And you knew he would stop if you needed him to. And you did want him to stop his attack on your poor bottom, and you certainly didn’t want him to add his belt to the mix, but you never could bring yourself to safeword unless you actually needed to.
“No sir.” 
“Then turn back around.” he said, folding the belt in two. The next thing you felt was the sharp bite of leather against your already sore backside.
“OW! Flip!” you shrieked, raising to your tiptoes to try to get away from the sting. He shushed you, pressing your arched back down against the counter again while the other hand whipped the belt down again in nearly the same spot. A few more hits came down steadily, you must have been dripping down your thighs at this point, but wetness was also pooling in the corners of your eyes, as tears threatened to slide down your cheeks. You took most of the belting quietly until a particularly cruel whack against your sit spots made you lose it.
“I’m sorry! Flip I promise!” You cried, pressing your face against the counter, shoulders shaking as you cried softly. 
He must have believed you this time because he finally set down the dreaded implement and reached for you, running his hand up and down your back and cooing softly at his baby. “I know pumpkin come here.” he helped you up cupping your sad little face in his big warm hands. As you stood your dress fell back into place, mostly covering you, though your panties had long been kicked off to some other spot on the kitchen floor.
“Such a prettier crier,” he hummed running his thumbs across your cheeks collecting the tears you had shed.
“ shoulda locked the door like you asked ‘m really sorry.” you hiccuped looking up into his big brown and hazel eyes. 
“Shh good girl, always m’good girl.” he scooped you up into his arms, gently tucking you into him, you gripping his flannel, wrapping your legs around him, burying your head into the crook of his neck. He held you for a while, mumbling sweet words to you. When he felt you had settled against him he moved, carrying you to bedroom, leaning down he placed you on the bed and followed you down moving sloppy passionate kisses down your neck, as your fingers slide into his dark curls pulling slightly and moaning as he began to work on the little sweet spot he had memorised. 
Finally after enough wiggling he pulls away, allowing you a break and he had to hold back a laugh when his eyes landed on you. “Now you’re gonna start pouting on me?”
“You spanked me really hard.” You whined furrowing your brows. Normally you wouldn’t get away with whining, but he must have decided you had been through enough discipline for one day.
“I’ll make it up to you,” he promised, running his hand up along your bare thigh, leaning down to press a kiss to the tip of your nose and then on your lips. You eagerly reached up, unbuttoning his flannel and pushing it off his shoulder to reveal his tight white undershirt, which you worked off of him as well, letting your eyes settle on his wonderful broad chest. His hand slid between your back and pillows, and he pulled you up against him. You pressed a line of kisses across his  jaw, facial hair rubbing roughly against your cheek. You could feel his hands working behind you, one hand busy undoing the little buttons at the top of your dress, then moving to unzip it the rest of the way down, while the other hand held you steady against him. 
Your mouths found each other again as you continued to undress one another, him now moving on to your bra as you did you best to undo and wiggle down his jeans and boxers from your position. You let out a quiet moan as your lower lip was sucked in between his teeth and he bit down playfully. 
One he had you fully naked from the waist down, he moved you down against the bed again, and slid your dress all the way off, leaning down to press little kisses to your exposed sensitive lower tummy. The sensation made you squeal, reaching down in an attempt to pull his head away from the ticklish spot, but your efforts didn’t amount to much. Massive hands quickly captured your wrists, pinning your arms down so he could continue his attack, your sweet laugh music to his ears, he might even like making you laugh a little more than making you cry.
“Flip! Please!” you managed to get out, bucking your core against him trying to get the message across.
“Jesus ketsl.” he finally granted you relief, pulling off of you. “Would you rather I moved my attention elsewhere?” he released your wrists, moving a couple fingers to just barely ghost over your entrance, not granting you the pleasure of any real penetration.
“Shit yes please!”
“Words, honeybun. Gotta tell me what you want, y’know that.” he locked eyes with you making you feel flustered.
“Want you.” you tried to be as vague as possible.
“’m right here baby girl, did you want anything specific?” he probed, but he must have been feeling generous, because he began easing two long fingers into your slippery cunt.
“Wantyoutofuckme.” you mumbled shyly, looking off to the wall to avoid his piercing stare. He leaned forward bringing his face close to yours, his fingers working to scissor you open for him, but you would have to ask properly first.
“Didn’t quite catch that baby,” he used his free hand to nudge your face to look at him. “Why don’t you try a little louder this time?” You swallowed.
“I want you to fuck me.” You admitted, blushing furiously. 
“Should’ve just said so honey.” he grins, retracting his hands, moving to give his length a few strokes, the remnants of your wetness on his fingers coating him. Wasting no further time he lined himself and slammed into you. You gasped and reached up to dig your nails in his back for stability, he grunted at the ways your walls wrapped tightly around him, setting a quick, rough pace. 
“Shit shit, honey you’re as tight for me as ever.” he groaned fucking you so deeply your entire body rocked with his thrust. The room around you became foggy, your senses blurring, you squeezed your eyes shut and in that Flip Zimmmerman was your entire world, though if you strained, you think you could vaguely make out the sound of your bed frame slamming against the wall in rhythm, and the slight cries of springs from a poor bed that had put up with too many nights of you two.
“I’m not gonna last long if you keep squeezin’ me pretty girl.” He moaned, reaching down to play with your clit, making you hiss. Every other thrust was landing right against your sweet spot, sending you into orbit.
“Me neither baby feels so good, shit, can I?” you asked, the knot in your stomach tightening further and further. 
“Have to look at me if you wanna cum, got it?” He ordered, soft but firm, clearly on the edge. Your eyes flew open, wanting to be good for him you nodded.
“Yes sir, please can I come-fuck!” your gaze slipped up for a moment, but you quickly corrected yourself, focusing on his deep dark eyes.
“Go ahead gorgeous, come for me.” he gave you permission, before spilling into you with a final loud moan. 
You came hard on command, toes curling, back arching, bliss overriding you systems, as your cunt clenched, milking him through his high as he rocked you through yours. He all but collapsed on you, sweaty and panting but you didn’t mind at all.
You felt dizzy and warm, your head somewhere far up in the clouds, and though you thought Flip might be speaking to you, you couldn’t really tell. Your eyes were closed and your head rolled to the side. Slowly the distant voice grew focused, and you peered your eyes open as you realised the voice was talking to you.
“Peanut? Pumpkin? You ready to come back to me honey?” a wonderful deep soft voice cooed at you. Suddenly, still in your haze, you wanted nothing more than to be as close to the owner of that voice is possible. You groaned reaching up with arms still shaky from your orgasm. Flip chuckled at you before scooping you up, shifting slightly to a seated position, he pulled you in his lap and cradle you to his chest as you re-familiarized yourself with your surroundings. 
At some point Flip had put a new pair of boxers on, and now he was gently coxing one of his big old t-shirts over your head, and then pulling your back into him, your head resting against his should, his calloused hand running up and down your thigh, grounding you, and you found yourself lazily running fingertips along his toned chest.
“Dropped into your headspace there for a little bit baby, was that too much?” He hummed against your hair.
You shook your head, “was good,” was all you could manage to get out.
“Love you so much baby,  y’know that?’ He said pressing a kiss to the top of your head. You nod happily. It’s quiet for a while longer, and Flip was beginning to think you’d fallen asleep when you speak again.
“Made me so sore though,” you mumble, “and my bum really hurts, don’t know how I’m gonna get around tomorrow.” 
Flip has to stop himself from laughing, smirking instead he squeezed you tighter to him, “Y’know I’ll carry you around pumpkin, I’ll always take care of you.” he promised. You allowed yourself to drift off, safe warm in his arms, feeling entirely protected and satisfied. 
Flip stayed up a while longer, just holding his girl, running his hand along your thigh, before forcing himself to lie you down and tuck you into bed. He then quietly moved around the room, putting away the clothes that had been tossed on the floor. He slipped downstairs turning off the lights and smiling and shaking his head as he locked all the doors, knowing despite your bargaining earlier, it wasn’t the last time you’d bicker about them.
And sure enough enough when you woke up in his arms in the morning, much more coherent, and grumbling about your sore ass and your legs feeling like jello, Flip was true to his word. Carrying you around, bringing you whatever you need, doting on you and caring for you all weekend long.
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the-sunshine-dims · 4 years ago
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amnesia rewrite! (chapter 4)
ch 1 | ch 2 | ch 3 | ch 5 | ch 6 | ch 7 | ch 8 |
original fic
words: 2043
ao3
contents and warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, amnesia, kid!janus, Janus finally gets a hug himself, fluff,
____
Roman couldn’t help but exhale a breath as he finished up explaining the situation to Remus and Virgil, “Any questions?” 
To his relief, no one said anything, Virgil just shrugging at the question. He counted that as a small victory, especially since he was awful at explaining the answers to most questions, actually, why did he keep getting posted at the task of telling people when he was so bad at it? both Patton and Logan would be better at it than him, he was sure of it.
His train of thought came to a halt when Remus spoke up abruptly, his voice both more steady and more serious than Roman’s ever heard it “if that’s the situation then I think I need to stay away from him if J-J started sobbing when he found out the old king-y dude was all-'' he made a slicing of his neck motion along with the noise to go with it -“then I can’t imagine what his reaction would be if my thoughts voiced themselves like they usually do, while around him. So unless he actually asks for me,  which I don’t think’ll happen, I’ll just hang out in the dark side, ooh! and I can experiment with the stuff that got banned for melting the floors! I wonder what would happen if I put it in cupcakes-“ he giggled maniacally to himself at the realization no one would be there to supervise him.
Roman cut him off, “I think for the most part your right, I don’t know how much he can handle right now, and we don’t want to overwhelm him, so yeah okay, Though I’ll make sure they’ll be someone to check on you so your not completely to your own devices because I imagine Janus wouldn’t want his room smelling like chemicals and.. whatever else you use for your... art projects.” He told him, ignoring the last bit of what Remus said. Honestly Roman was kind of proud of his brother, he was a lot more caring and considerate than he let on.
he gave him a small smile before quietly going “I’m glad Janus has you as a friend, you care about him.”
Remus rolled his eyes like a petulant teenager, it wasn’t like he was doing something super amazing for Janus Afterall, he was just being a generally decent person, he knew his presence might hurt Janus currently so he wasn’t actively going to be around him for a minute and sure yeah he cared about him but he cared for the sentiment slime goop in his room too so it wasn’t that big a deal.
As Roman and Remus continued their conversation Virgil slipped out of the room silently, unnoticed. not offering a reason for leaving.
____
Janus walked down the corridor, fingers brushing against the walls, feeling the textures, every now and then the paint changed into a different color, he would guess it was Morality and Roman’s doing since it often went from soft light blues to vibrant reds, making only small breaks to show swirly designs in purples and dark blues. he liked to feel how the different paint changed the texture, even ever so slightly, it was kinda cool to him, and it was something to do while Roman and the others were busy-
Ow
he reeled back immediately as soon as he felt his face slam into someone, luckily it didn't hurt much as the crash was cushioned with soft fabric, regardless though embarrassment still curled up and made itself at home in the pit of his stomach as the realization of he ran into someone finally dawned on him.
After the initial shock subsided, he just started apologizing profusely “I’m sorry! I’m so so sorry!! I didn’t mean to run into you! Are you- are you okay?” He asked as he finally looked up to see who the side he ran into was,
Their face was pale and freckle-clad and.. he knew him!
He gasped excitedly as he began giddily clapping his hands “wait! Hi!! Anxiety I remember you!” He grinned, ignoring how anxiety still hadn’t spoken up, he used to be very quiet so maybe he’s just still like that, either way, he continued “actually Wait- I remember you with a different jacket.. but! I like this one. It's cool!! I like the purple patches!- oh!! Also, guess what! morality and Logic have names! Isn’t that cool?” 
Virgil shrugged and Janus took that as an invitation to continue. 
“Do you have a name too? I bet if you do it’s cool! Like Ummm… uh- what’s a cool name?” He pondered aloud, not able to think of anything besides names like thor-Bonecrusher or other stuff of that variety.
Anxiety once again shrugged and Janus accepted that well enough; maybe anxiety just didn’t have a name, so Janus didn’t push, but he did continue chattering on happily enough. 
At some point, Virgil started to continue walking, if slowly, down the hallway, to where he was trying to go originally, Janus immediately following him like an excited golden retriever puppy as he talked about.. hell knows what, Virgil couldn’t keep track. But regardless of that, honestly, Virgil didn’t think he minded Janus’s presence as much as he thought he would, he was fully willing to just avoid him when He left the conversation with Roman and Remus, not because he would accidentally harm Janus like Remus- well he might Virgil.. tended to be way to blunt but sometimes with things that annoy him, and earlier he was pretty certain Janus would only annoy him, hell, earlier all he wanted to do was avoid Janus because he knew he was still Janus and quite honestly he didn’t want to deal with Janus.
Though honestly Janus himself, while kind of annoying and overdramatic, wasn’t.. awful, like Virgil pretended he was, he inwardly sighed before just ignoring that specific train of thought, something he was actually pretty accustomed and successful at doing.  
As he got around to tuning back into what Janus was doing all he heard silence, which given any other time he may have been happy for But this silence is almost.. somber? He looked over quickly and found Janus looking at the floor as he walked, though much slower than before, hell now he was actually walking a distance behind Virgil.
He was already looking at Janus but he could only double-take as he heard a small voice go “I’m sorry…” it trailing off after a minute before continuing, obviously unsure of what it had done wrong but assuming it’d done something “I- I don’t know what I did but I’m sorry! I don’t wanna be mean I promise! If you just tell me what I did I won’t do it again I promise! I’ll be nice! I- ‘m sorry.. ’m sorry..” his voice cracked and got smaller as he wrung his hands nervously.
And Virgil could only quietly go “shit I messed up.” because he could recognize the signs as much as anyone that Janus was halfway to spiraling, and honestly, Virgil couldn’t blame him after all they were walking a very long 15 minutes because somehow the hallway went on forever, and Virgil doesn’t know 90% of what Janus said because he just stopped listening and on top of that he hadn’t even spoken a word to the kid-  and that was weird to think of him as a kid, but he was, he was an impressionable, anxious kid who desperately wanted other people to like him, and that on top of anything meant he probably thought Virgil was just ignoring him for something he didn’t even remember doing.
And he could only panic quickly as Janus’s eyes remained dead set on the floor, and he didn’t know if Janus was trying to disappear into it or if it was him trying to hide the fact his eyes were starting to get glossy with unshed tears because he wholeheartedly thought Virgil hated him- and oh fuck he really did fuck up. 
He tried to think of what Patton did to comfort him and in an act of pure panic brain, he scooped him up in a secure hug and hoped that would help. 
The result was Janus going almost limp before starting to dry hiccup as he tried to force the tears away after a moment he just confusedly went “but- but you didn’t wanna talk to me And you were ignoring me and you looked really annoyed and-“ he started wiggling from Virgil’s hold “no- wait don’t worry you don’t have to be nice to me if you don’t like me- I promise you don’t have to!” He rushed in telling him, trying to scramble so he wasn’t leaning on Virgil and Jesus this was almost as bad as when they all went to Virgil’s room with how anxious Janus was, he could practically feel the anxiety radiating off.
And he realized he really did have to actually talk to Janus, he wasn’t gonna get less anxious just by getting a hug, Virgil wasn’t Patton he didn’t have that magical ability, so he loosened his hold on Janus just enough to get Janus to stop trying to accidentally on purpose fall onto the floor before just going “I don’t dislike you,” and just those words alone made Janus go completely still, so Virgil continued “and I didn’t mean to Ignore you I just got lost in thought, though that’s definitely not an excuse, because even if I didn’t mean to I did, but the important part is i- I like you,” he told him, not confidently, because while he knew he would be lying if he said he disliked him he didn’t have enough time to sort through his emotions to confidently say he liked him.
But regardless of how uncertain Virgil sounded, Janus still looked up at him with eyes so filled with hesitance but also soft gentle hope as he shakily went “promise? No lies?”
Virgil offered a small smile, “promise, no lies.”  He repeated and Janus barreled into him in a hug, 
And As Virgil wrapped his arms around the shortest side for the second time in five minutes which has got to be some kind of record- he realized hey he was a lot better at this whole comforting thing than he thought he would be, which wasn’t really saying a lot but hey. 
After a while of just standing there, the awkwardness and strain of standing still in a random hallway motivated Janus to unwrap his arms from around Virgil and retrieve his face from his being buried in Virgil’s chest. 
And that only made it more awkward because now they were both just standing in the hallway literally just staring at each other.
So Janus, deciding he hated when stuff was awkward just went “do you know anything fun to do? I’m bored and morality and Logic and Roman are all busy.”
Virgil visibly thought to himself about options before going “are you in a movie mood or music mood? Or if you’re in none of them we might just have to kidnap Roman and see if he has ideas.”
Janus hummed before just happily going “I like music!” practically bouncing on the balls of his feet.
Virgil smiled before he got an idea, “do you like my chemical romance?” He asked and Janus seemed confused at what that was but eventually decided if Virgil liked it then Janus will like it too, so Janus just nodded in reply and just Virgil grinned.
——
Later Logan had to ask them to quiet down because he needed to work and couldn’t focus and he was almost certain that they were gonna damage their eardrums since he could hear the loud shouts of the lyrics coming from the speakers while in the kitchen, though, even if he failed at getting them to turn it down he was glad they were getting along, Janus was practically bouncing with how gleeful he was, even Virgil had a small smile on his face, so logan supposed even if later they had headaches from the blasting music as long as they were still happy it would be okay in the long run.
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kenzieam · 5 years ago
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Destroyed - Chapter Six (Chris x Raen)
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Rating: M - ***TRIGGER WARNINGS***
Warnings: Violence, language, drama, angst, mentions of abuse and rape
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I KNOW I’M MISSING TAGS, PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT IN
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Okay, so....
This chapter got away from me and the characters went in a completely different direction than I originally intended. I’m not sure anymore if the story is going to end the way I first thought. Let me know what you think.
Reread Chapter Five here
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**TRIGGER WARNINGS**
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After a long moment, he asked quietly. “Can I take you somewhere?”
“Where?” Raen hiccupped.
“A place I like to go to, when I’m feeling out of control.”
“Are others around?” Raen asked and Chris felt a flare of disappointment; did Raen not trust him, after everything? “I don’t think I can handle seeing anyone right now.”
His disappointment morphed instantly into shame, this had nothing to do with him, he needed to stop focusing on himself and how he was feeling, right now, this was all about Raen. “No, there’s not usually anyone else there.”
“Okay,” Raen glanced at the table. “Just let me clean up and get dressed-“
“No, doll go ahead. I’ll clean up.”
“No, Chris. I can’t ask you-“
“You have a dishwasher, right?” At her nod, he grinned. “Then I can’t screw anything up, go ahead.” He gave her hand a gentle squeeze as she stood and turned towards the sink, smiling to himself as he heard her door shut.
She emerged fifteen minutes later, just as Chris was wiping the last of the crumbs off the counter. Chris could only gape for a beat before swallowing hard and forcing his gaze away. Black fitted jeans, layered camisoles and a cropped jean jacket, fuck, she had no idea what she did to him, how drop-dead gorgeous she was. She’d pulled her hair into a long French braid over one shoulder, the strands looking especially soft today and Chris suddenly felt like an uncultured caveman next to her.
“We just need to make one stop,” he declared, fisting his hands in his pockets. “I gotta change too.”
Raen raised a brow. “Don’t shave though, that scruff does stuff to me.” She threw him a flirty wink that had Chris staring after her for a long beat, gaping. Christ, she kept him on his toes, he’d never get enough.
He met her at the door, climbing into the Cruiser and settling back into the seat as Raen drove off. He couldn’t help his mechanical ear though and listened for a long moment as Raen shifted gears before saying, “it sounds off, a bit of a skip. Can you let me look at it later?”
“What’ll that cost?” Raen quipped, flicking her gaze at him, letting him know she’d known all about his price fixing before and subtly asking him not to again. Whether she didn’t want favors hanging over her head or not, she also didn’t want Chris to be losing money on her either.
“Diagnostic is free.” Chris replied. “And then it depends on what I find.”
“Okay.”
“Leave it at the shop, we’ll take my truck.”
She didn’t argue and a half hour later they were on their way, Raen looking in all directions trying to decipher where Chris was taking her. As they neared the destination, Raen clapped her hands with a squeak. “The Old Quarry!”
“You’ve been there?”
“I used to spend every summer with grandma, I’d come here all the time. It was always so… relaxing.”
Chris nodded. “I discovered the same not long after I got here. I’ve spent hours and hours out here, just staring at the water.”
“Have you watched the sunset out here?”
Chris nodded. “Yeah, and some nights when I couldn’t sleep, I’d see the sunrise too.”
Raen smiled sadly. “I fell asleep out here one afternoon, didn’t wake up until long after dark. Scared my grandma something awful. She’d already sent the Sheriff out looking for me, he gave me a ride back. I felt so bad, making her worry.”
“You had good times out here, though? With your grandma?”
Raen nodded, brushing away a tear. “Yeah… I wish things had turned out different though. That I’d come back to see her before she died.”
Chris nodded then, before he could think too much about it and stop himself, reached over and touched her hand. He expected her to pull away, but she turned her palm instead, letting him wrap his fingers around hers and squeeze.
They were silent for a minute as Chris guided the truck up the trail. The quarry had been abandoned by the mining company years ago and been partially reclaimed. Nature had taken back it’s property and covered what it could with lush greenery, while the small man-made lake at the bottom looked completely natural. Still, despite its beauty, it wasn’t a very popular spot with the locals or the tourists, the original road looked a little too rustic to the average person, and once you got up there, there wasn’t much to do but sit and enjoy the scenery, which wasn’t something today’s plugged in society often did anymore.
The occasional adventurous picnicker ventured up there, or amateur photographer, but the quarry remained a quiet little secret most of the time. Chris had discovered it by accident, testing out the four-by-four capabilities of his truck one day not long after deciding to stay in town and, to be honest, this place and the tranquility it offered, had saved his sanity a time or two.
Reaching the end of the road and the top of the quarry, Chris pulled the truck to the side and climbed out. He hurried over to open Raen’s door for her, but she was already climbing out, smiling shyly when he offered his hand. Reaching behind the seat, he pulled out the large blanket he kept back there for exactly this purpose and walked to the clearing at the edge of the quarry.
Raen waited while he laid it out, near a large boulder then sat carefully down. She crossed her legs and took a deep breath, eyes scanning the scenery for a bit before looking back over at Chris. He sat beside her, stretching out his legs and leaned back, resting on his hands and Raen grinned when he looked her way, motioning with her chin behind him,
Lifting his sunglasses, Chris turned his head. Carved into the stone, roughened and faded by time, were the words ‘Raen was here’. The execution was amateurish and jagged, like she’d been a child when she’d done it.
“The first time I discovered this place.” Raen explained. “I was due to go home the next day, summer was over, and I was afraid I wouldn’t be allowed to visit my grandma again. Mom’s second husband was a drunk and threatened to not let me come back. I wanted to leave something behind.”
“Did you come back?”
Raen nodded but Chris could see the tightening around her eyes, even with her sunglasses on. “They divorced around Christmas, really messy but I was happy to see him go. We did good for awhile, just mom and me, but she was afraid of being alone and the next guy she found was a real winner. Summers became my escape.”
“Did he hurt you?” Chris didn’t want to know the answer, but the question fell from his mouth anyway. His body tensed and his jaw clenched as he awaited her answer. Everyone, every single person that had hurt his Raen was going to pay, one way or another, for the pain they caused her.
“Not after I installed a lock on my bedroom door. He was a pig, but he was also lazy.” Her eyes flicked up to Chris’ as he let out an involuntary growl, but she only swallowed and looked away. “It was a long time ago, Chris. He’s dead now, drank himself to death on the kitchen floor when I was sixteen. Mom’s newest husband said I was too fat to be pretty, he preferred skeletal alcoholics, like my mom, and left me alone.”
A fierce ache hit Chris in the chest, while relieved the asshole’s prejudices had kept him from messing with Raen, he wanted to tear the bastard’s throat out for ever making Raen feel that she wasn’t perfect in every way.
“You’re beautiful, you know that. Right?”
Raen glanced his way, her lips quirked in disagreement but froze at the utter sincerity and intensity in Chris’ gaze. After a beat, she nodded soberly then looked away again.
They were silent for a few minutes, while Chris fought the urge to pull Raen close and crush away her sadness. The level of affection and intensity he was feeling right now would only scare her and he wanted her too badly to end up back at square one, but fuck he needed to touch her.
She shivered as a breeze blew past them, cooled by the water below and Chris reacted without thinking. Scooting closer he shrugged off his jacket and placed it over Raen’s shoulders, rubbing her upper arms to generate warmth. She flashed him a look of mixed surprise and embarrassment.
“Sorry,” she mumbled. “I-“
“S’no problem, doll.” Chris leaned closer involuntarily, drawn by her seductive scent, a crisp clean mix of shampoo and her natural fragrance and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, Raen was watching him carefully, their faces mere inches apart. Unwillingly, his gaze dropped to her mouth, imagining what they would taste like and Raen inhaled softly, her tongue wetting her lips.
Chris groaned, unable to resist the invitation and leaned in just as Raen did the same, their lips touching, tentatively at first, then harder, dual moans escaping them. Chris brought a hand up and cupped Raen’s face, his head spinning as their kiss deepened, his pulse starting to race when she opened for him and his tongue slicked along hers. Without thinking, without examining it too closely Chris sat back, pulling Raen with him and onto his lap. She seemed startled for a second to be there, straddling his thighs but then she wrapped her arms around his neck and dove in, returning his kiss with a heated desperation that had him instantly hard and straining below her.
His hands gripped her hips as they devoured each other, the kiss rapidly growing from an innocent, tender peck into a steamy make-out session. Chris rocked Raen’s hips down onto him, letting her feel his arousal and she gasped against his mouth, then grinned wickedly and ground herself back down, rolling firmly over his straining cock.
“Jesus, baby-“ Chris groaned, pulling away from her mouth to trail sucking kisses along her jaw. “Fuck, that feels good.” He sucked and nipped along her neck while Raen threw her head back, exposing the smooth column of her throat to him.
His pulse racing, head spinning, Chris couldn’t recall the last time he’d been so swept up before, had he ever? Things were going to get damn serious fast unless one of them showed some goddamn restraint and, as much as Chris wanted to bury himself in Raen’s sweet body, he didn’t want their first time to be here, a rushed, messy affair out in the open, where anyone with gumption to handle the trail could show up and surprise them. He wanted to savour her, wrap himself around her for hours and bring her to peak after sweet peak, watch her fall apart in his arms and know he was the one to make that way-
A car door slamming behind them startled their mouths apart and they froze, panting breaths as they listened.
“Shit,” Raen hissed, rolling off Chris’ lap, leaving him feeling cold and exposed. They struggled to right themselves, straighten their mussed clothes and bodies then turned to look, following the sound of footsteps. A man appeared a few dozen feet away, toting a folded-up tripod and carrying a camera bag.
“Sorry,” he called. “Didn’t know anyone else was going to be up here.”
“S’alright.” Chris called back. “We were just leaving.” The man nodded and turned away as Raen looked over at Chris in surprise. “We are?”
“Doll, I can’t lie to you. That was the hottest fucking thing I’ve ever felt. If we stay, I’m not going to be able to control myself, and I know you’re not ready.”
Her cheeks flushed and she lowered her head, but Chris reached out and lifted her chin.
“But it’s okay. I’ll wait as long as you need but I need to distract myself right now, we need to go do something else.” His body ached for her, his cock throbbing in his jeans but this wasn’t about him right now.
Her flush deepened adorably, and she bit her bottom lip, making Chris fight back a moan as he imagined doing that too, hopefully while he was driving inside her.
“I… no, it’s stupid-“
“No, doll. It isn’t. What?”
“I’ve wanted to go to the zoo-“
“Let’s go.”
“Chris, it’s okay, it’s childish-“ Raen began as Chris leapt to his feet and started pulling her to hers.
“Let’s go.”
“It’s just, my grandma took me there as a kid and I haven’t been back since-“
“Baby,” Chris cradled her face, grinning. “It’s okay. I want to go too; I just never found the time. And a single guy walking around kids always makes the moms nervous.”
Raen faltered as his words finally registered, then grinned. “You do look pretty shady.” She teased.
Chris silenced her sass with another kiss, and it almost physically hurt to pull away. “I’m serious. You wanna go? We can, like now.”
Raen glanced down at her body. “Am I dressed well enough?”
Fuck, this woman… he could hardly tear his gaze away. He would spend the rest of his days making her hear how goddamn beautiful she was. “Yeah doll, you look like a wet dream.” He hadn’t meant to say that, but if fell out anyway and he could only grin sheepishly when Raen stared at him. “It’s true, I’m not going to lie about something like that.”
Raen dropped her gaze, cheeks flaming but before Chris could tilt her chin up a second time, she lifted her eyes by herself and the wicked grin that touched her lips did funny things to Chris’ insides.
“Does that work on all your girls?” Her voice was light, but the question was there anyway.
“Only one girl I want it to work on.” Chris couldn’t stop himself and his thumb reached up, brushing gently against Raen’s plush bottom lip. He swallowed hard, waiting for her response. Guys didn’t spout shit like this, not in real life and Raen had no reason to trust the opposite sex, not after the story she’d told him, but he couldn’t seem to stop baring his heart like this to her, every fucking word out of his mouth was the gospel truth and he couldn’t bear to think about what it would do to his heart if Raen rejected him. He really should be guarding himself better.
She studied him, her lilac-grey eyes moving rapidly between his and his breath caught in his throat. Again, he was being weighed and measured and again, he prayed he was found worthy.
“You’re smooth, Mr. King.” She whispered huskily, brushing his shoulder as she turned to walk back to the truck and Chris’ face split into a huge grin. He rubbed a hand through his hair as his body shook slightly with teenager nerves and his insides went liquid. Christ, and they called it puppy love, never… this was real. Heart hammering, he turned and strode to the truck, climbing in with a grin as Raen smiled at him, reaching over to turn on the radio.
The zoo was a success. They’d spent the day wandering leisurely around, holding hands and laughing, talking quietly or gazing serenely at the animals. At one point Chris grew bold and gently pulled Raen back against his chest as they stood, watching the lions. For a half-second, she’d tensed, then relaxed and leaned back into him, giggling softly when Chris pressed a hesitant but tender kiss to the curve of her neck. Her acceptance lifted a huge weight in his chest, and he’d grinned, exhaling in giddy relief, burying his face in her throat as pure happiness tingled in his limbs. When was the last time he’d been like this? Had he ever? Certainly not with Erin, their interactions had always been with the backdrop of Silas’ gang and their cover, the threat of discovery. There’d been no time for frivolities like this, and what better way to raise suspicion but to break character? Two cokeheads sauntering through a child’s amusement park? No, Chris had never had this opportunity, even as a child he’d been denied a youth’s innocence and experiencing it for the first time with Raen secure in his arms was his current idea of heaven.
They’d laughed over hot-dogs from one of the zoo’s vendors, Chris making good-natured fun of her choice of sauerkraut for a topping, her faux gagging at his zealous use of ketchup and mustard. Later, they’d shared a bag of mini-donuts, Chris’ blood heating as he watched Raen suck the cinnamon-sugar from her fingers and the little minx, upon discovering Chris’ attention, had blushed but continued, holding his gaze as she finished, drawing a low growl from deep in his chest. She was playing with fire but seemed to know that, pushing farther and farther as her confidence grew and Chris remained attentive but restrained.
Despite the increased heat between them, as the days passed Chris remained a gentle courter, intent on the end goal of having Raen by his side forever over the immediate pleasure of bringing her to his bed. And Raen slowly grew in confidence around him, she no longer flinched around sudden movements, an action that had always caused a simultaneous flash of rage directed at her asshole ex and sorrow for her fear in Chris each time she did it; and even began to find her voice with him. When she figured out that, unlike Marshall, Chris would not swiftly punish any form of rebellion, no matter how small or insignificant, her inner fire began to strengthen, and the woman she was meant to be began to show. Not that Chris was solely responsible for her growth, but his gentle support in the background, rather than the toxic oppression of her past, allowed her to realize what was there inside her all that time.
And what a woman she was. Chris felt a charge of exhilaration at her emerging spunk and sass. He found himself prodding her gently, needling her harmlessly just for the glory of her reaction, the flash of fire in her eyes that said she knew exactly what he was doing, but was going to react anyway because she loved the exhilaration too, the freedom to call Chris an asshat because he was acting like one, and to state such wouldn’t result in a busted lip or line of dark bruises.
What an asshole Marshall must be, Chris mused time and again. How could he squash her fire, how could he not revel in the simple deliciousness that Raen was? He’d held a treasure in his hands and not known, not recognized the pricelessness of his bounty. What a fucking idiot.
The question of Marshall’s base intelligence again flashed in Chris’ mind as he and Raen shared lunch at his shop approximately a week after their trip to the zoo. The last seven days had been full of quiet moments, enjoyable dinners and even more enjoyable flirting. Chris spent most of his evenings with Raen, for her home was far preferable to him over his apartment above his garage, but tonight Raen would start working at The Bend again. Her week’s vacation courtesy of Gus after the bar fight had come to an end and she was due to work tonight’s shift.
“Is it okay?” Raen asked, raising a brow as Chris eyed his sandwich thoughtfully.
“Yeah babe, it’s fine. I’ve just never had homemade bread before. It’s way better.”
Raen eyed him suspiciously, fighting a giggle when Chris rounded his eyes and added. “It’s true!”
“You’ve never had homemade bread before?”
“My mother wasn’t a homemaker,” Chris answered, no longer feeling a wave of sadness where that woman was concerned; she’d made her choices, and he’d paid for them.
“You never tried making it yourself?” Raen pressed, sounding scandalized, the twitching of her lips telling him she was just teasing.
“Once,” Chris confessed. “I don’t know what I did but it ended up looking like a hockey puck.” He chewed thoughtfully for a beat then continued. “This is really good, doll. You should have your own bakery.”
Raen rolled her eyes as she turned back to the basket she’d brought; this wasn’t the first time he’d spouted such nonsense. Grinning wickedly, she pulled out a Ziploc bag, feigning secrecy but making sure Chris saw exactly what she was doing.
‘Squirrel!’
“Are those cookies?” Chris demanded, grinning broadly. “The same ones from before?” If they were the same cookies Raen had treated him with earlier in the week, then his statement that she needed to open her own bakery stood. The woman was a witch in the kitchen, a newfound talent emerging as she kneaded and stirred away her fears and pains, her body now able to accomplish what she’d usually been to bruised and sore to achieve before.
Still chewing on a large mouthful of sandwich, Chris made ‘gimme’ fingers at Raen, his eyes straight up puppy dog as he pleaded for the cookies and, with a smile that never failed to warm Chris’ heart, she handed the bag over, watching indulgently as he proceeded to gorge himself into a semi-coma, the pleasured sounds and moans of happiness he didn’t realize he was making lighting little fires up and down Raen’s spine.
“Seriously, Raen.” Chris continued, licking the last of the chocolate from his fingers. Raen had battled him briefly for one of the cookies and he’d relented finally, under pain of tickles and handed one of his precious over to her. “These are good. Think about it.”
“Are you coming by tonight?” Raen asked, not so subtly changing the subject.
“Do you want me too?” Chris replied quietly. “I don’t want to be in your way.” He didn’t mention the elephant in the room, no matter how much the reality of it chafed him, but the men who frequented The Bend would probably tip less if the illusion that Raen was single and available was tainted in their washed-out eyes. He wanted to broadcast to the world that Raen was his, but she needed to make money, especially if she wanted to escape the dead-end pull of the bar. The chauvinism pissed him off, but he would be lying if he claimed his own tips had not been influenced at times in the past by the illusion of a server’s smiles and attention being anything but all for him and his lonely heart.
Raen hesitated but when she spoke, what she said was not what Chris thought it would be. “I feel safer when you’re there. But you don’t need to sit there for hours-“
Chris reached up and gently cradled her face. “Doll, I’ll sit happily wherever you are. I’d sit in a cardboard box, as long as it’s with you.”
“Flirt.” Raen whispered, the dismissiveness in her tone irking Chris. He meant it, every word. Was Raen’s recalcitrance based on a specific belief of Chris’ moral deficiencies, or a more general cynicism of the opposite sex? His lips thinned for a beat as he absorbed the blow and shook it off.
“I’ll come by later and stay. Make sure you get home okay? Does that work?” He was stretching more than he wanted, but it was imperative that Raen feel secure and able to control her life and if that meant putting his own piece of mind behind hers, so be it.
“Okay,” Raen murmured, and the shy smile she gave him melted his jaded heart.
The bar was busy, and for awhile it was hard for Chris to even track Raen as she worked. He nursed his beer, barely touching it in favor of the water he’d also asked for and let his gaze travel the room again. The bartender, the one who’d called him an asshole last week, who was friends with one of his old hook-ups, made her way over as she wiped down the bar top.
“Raen says I’m supposed to be nice to you tonight.”
“You do what you want, Eb.” Chris replied quietly, offering a tired half-smile. He was exhausted, having had a busy night already.
Eb leaned forward suddenly, her voice dropping. “You hurt her, and I’ll tear your balls off.”
Chris sat back in surprise; eyes wide but before he could respond, Eb continued. She stood back upright, and the cloth in her hand made a half-hearted pass over the polished wood, but her attention was fixed solely on Chris. “I love Keltie like a sister but she’s wild. Don’t think for a hot minute she wasn’t on the phone calling someone else to come over as soon as you rolled outta her bed all those nights. She knows the score and so do you, you’re as big a whore as anyone else in this town. But Raen’s different. She’s a good person, better than this place, better than me and definitely better than you. I don’t know why she’s even giving you the time of day, but you be good to her, you hear me? Or I’ll be there.”
Chris processed this, blinking blankly a few times. Sure, he and Keltie had had their fun, and like Eb said, she’d known the score and played the same game as he, but this sudden defense of Raen was surprising. But she was right, Raen was good, she was out of Chris’ league and for whatever reason she had for giving Chris’ sorry ass a chance, he’d better not screw it up.
“Understood.” He replied quietly, eyes dropping from Eb’s piercing glare as fresh shame rose in his chest. “I know what I have, I won’t fuck it up.”
Eb eyed him for a beat before nodding and clearing her throat; now that her big sister act was done, she returned to her carefree bartender. “Need a new one?” She asked, jerking her chin to his beer.
“No thanks, Eb. Can I get a coffee though?”
“You’re staying until close?”
“Yeah.”
A brief flash of approval, then Eb even managed a smile. “Sure thing, King.”
Chris stood as the last of the patrons left and walked to the door. “I’ll wait by your car.” He called out to Raen as she cleaned off a nearby tabletop, but she was focused on her task and barely nodded at him. A brief nip of hurt, but he pushed it away. Raen was tired, like him and busy closing.
Ten minutes later Raen emerged from behind the bar, lightening his heart and chasing the weariness from his body. He slid out from the cab of his truck and took a step towards her, opening his arms. But, to his surprise, she didn’t rush into his embrace like she would have before. Instead, she approached quietly, almost edgily.
Raen searched his eyes for a heartbeat, looking for something and Chris felt the beginnings of unease but before he could ask, she gifted him with a perfunctory smile, fishing her keys from her purse.
“Raen? Is anything wrong?”
Raen’s shoulders tensed for an instant, almost too fast for Chris to catch, then relaxed again. “No, just tired.”
Lie.
“Raen? Don’t lie to me, please?”
Raen lifted her head, irritation flashing in her lilac eyes. “Just leave it, Chris.”
He wanted to push, maybe grab her shoulders and demand she spill, but didn’t. That would be a dick move and she’d had enough of that in her life. Nevertheless, he tried again.
“Please? Did I do something?”
Raen exhaled heavily, her hand tightening on her keys. She seemed to be gathering herself before she answered. “Did you see Annette in the bar tonight?”
Chris frowned, a prickle of dread forming low in his chest.
“She showed up not long after you.”
“Okay.” Chris could feel the ground beneath him getting shaky, no, no, NO!
Raen stared up at him for a beat and uncertainty bled her iris’ dark. “You probably miss her, huh? The chance to have sex whenever you felt like it? But you-”
“Wait, what?!” The ground gave way and Chris’ knees threatened to buckle.
Raen flinched slightly but plowed on. “Were you with her earlier? Before you came here?”
Chris just stared at her for moment, struck dumb. What? “No… what the hell, Raen? Where would you get that idea?” The lie taste bitter on his tongue but he needed time to explain. Then it hit him. “Did she say something?”
Raen flinched again, then pulled her door open, climbing into the driver’s seat while Chris gaped in shock.
“Raen!”
Sorrowful eyes met his as the Land Cruiser fired up and Chris reached out desperately, fist hammering the door. “Raen?! What the fuck?!”
The Cruiser lurched away, and Chris stared after it, dumbstruck.
How did she know already? And how the fuck was he going to explain this to her?
It took only a moment for his stunned body to regroup and he threw himself into his truck, following the taillights of Raen’s vehicle. His heart pounding, he wiped sweaty palms on his jeans as his mind raced. He needed to tell the truth, but how did he? How did he say what he needed to say and get Raen to listen to him?
Goddammit, he needed time.
Raen barely threw him a glance as she parked, exiting her vehicle and storming to her door. Chris launched himself after her.
“Raen, wait!”
She fumbled with her door keys, and it slowed her down. If she hadn’t, Chris would have gotten the door slammed in his face, he was sure of it; as it was, he made it to her side just as she cursed, low under her breath, the key petulantly refusing to fit.
“Raen?!”
She whirled at him, her hand still working the knob even as she raged. “Stop it.” She hissed. “She explained everything, okay?”
“Who?” The question was automatic, he knew the answer, even as fresh panic ached in his veins.
Raen scoffed in disbelief. “Who? You know goddamn well who. Annette!” The door finally acquiesced, and she pushed it open, striding through and whirling in one motion to slam it in Chris’ face.
“Raen, wait!” Chris barked desperately, throwing his forearm into the doorway then his foot and thigh, keeping Raen from closing it. Fear flashed in her eyes but anger quickly overcame it again. “Let me explain!”
Raen paused, the door half-closed, ready to squash his limbs if he didn’t start making sense and fast. Her glare invited him to speak, but said she wasn’t going to believe him.
“Okay, yes. Annette… she came by the shop earlier-”
Raen tried to shut the door and Chris winced as his thigh was pinched. He pushed it wider again but didn’t try to enter.
“Spit it out, Chris. I want to go to bed and Annette wants you back in hers.”
“Why are you saying that?” Chris exploded. “What did she say?!”
Raen winced and the fire that blazed in her eyes dimmed slightly. “She said… that before you came to the bar tonight… she met you at your shop and you fucked her.”
Chris froze, jaw agape. “Raen, I-”
“It’s true, isn’t it? That’s why you haven’t told me what happened yet.”
“I haven’t told you yet because you haven’t given me a chance!” Chris roared. The flat of his fist slammed into the door in frustration and the violent motion startled Raen into stepping back, letting the door swing free. Past caring whether he was scaring her or not, Chris stormed in after her and grabbed her upper arms. “Goddammit, Raen! Let me explain!”
“Let me go!” Raen screeched, wrenching herself free. A mix of fear and indignation flashed in her eyes. “There’s nothing to explain!”
“Nothing happened!” Chris barked, kicking the door shut. His chest heaved and fists clenched, eyes blazing as he glared at Raen, feeling like he’d entered some kind of Twilight Zone. Raen glared back, tears in her eyes and chin trembling.
“Nothing happened.” He continued, lowering his voice. With effort, he relaxed his hands, made his shoulders drop. “Yes, she came by and yes, she tried to… seduce me. But nothing happened, I swear. Before you…. yeah, I would have slept with her. I did sleep with her, a lot. And with a lot of other women in this town but not since I met you.”
“What happened, exactly?” Raen bit out, not yet willing to give.
Chris sighed. “I was working on a vehicle and heard her walk up, calling my name. I thought she might actually need a mechanic, so I asked what she wanted.” He scrubbed a hand over his head and down the back on his neck. “She didn’t. She started up with this ‘I miss you’ and ‘we were good together’ shit. I tried to tell her to leave nicely, but she didn’t stop.” He exhaled in a rush. “She tried to kiss me, and I was surprised enough by her balls that we actually touched, but then I pushed her away and told her to get lost.” He winced, not wanting to add the next part but knowing he needed to bare the whole awful mess. “She tried to grab my cock, rub me over my jeans and I got mad. I pushed her hard…. harder than I should have.” He paused, swallowing hard. “She said some real ugly shit and left. I didn’t even see her at the bar after and I certainly wasn’t going to start our conversation tonight with that fucking shit. But you didn’t give me a chance.” He sighed heavily, not yet ready to meet Raen’s eyes, hoping the fact that she was still silent meant she wasn’t about to push him out again. “What did she say to you, exactly?”
Raen sniffled, wiping a hand across her cheeks. “That she stopped by and the two of you…. had sex.”
“And you believed her?” Chris felt a well of disappointment.
Raen shrugged but the movement was anything but flippant. Pain darkened her eyes even as she tried to twist her mouth in derision. “Why shouldn’t I? I know what men want, what they always want.”
Chris’ disappointment grew deeper, overshadowing his anger. He looked hard at her, his jaw tense. “And you think I’m like that too?”
Raen shrugged again, doubling down. “Why not? I mean, look at her, look at me.”
“Raen,” Chris whispered, fighting to calm himself. He was furious right now, at Raen’s dismissals, at her declaration that his sex automatically made him a bastard, but his disappointment was stronger. He still didn’t measure up to her, he still hadn’t proven himself and, even if he had, all it took was half-baked lies for Raen to turn on him like a rabid dog. Nothing but humiliating truth, an absolute baring of his wounded soul would be enough to override her hard-bitten cynicism, a bitterness earned through a harsh life lorded over by cruel, stupid, heartless examples of the worst of men. “I used to be.”
His confession startled her into freezing, staring at him in shock.
Seeing he had her attention, Chris continued, drawing his wrist across the familiar blade, feeling the well-known surge of shame and fresh loathing. “After Erin…. I didn’t care anymore. She tore my heart out and I wasn’t going to let anyone else do the same. For the last five years I’ve been just what you damned me as, a man, sleeping around with anyone I wanted to, no strings attached, no feelings involved.” He sighed heavily, the words hurting him more severely than he thought they would. “Annette and I…. we were good together… in bed. We’re toxic everywhere else and even if I wasn’t just looking for casual sex, I wouldn’t have gone any further with her.” He glanced up to see Raen watching him, the glitter of tears in her eyes. “Until you, that’s all I was, all I wanted to be.” He took a step, his voice lowering slightly as faint anger rose again to mingle with the shame. “But since I met you, I haven’t been with anyone. Even before you’d give me the time of day, I was waiting and hoping in the background, panting for you like a dog. And that’s my bad, I guess. ‘Cause despite all that, all my effort to show you how much you mean to me, all it took are the lies of some jaded bitch for you to turn on me.” He took a deep breath, standing to his full height. “You’ve been hurt by assholes in the past, baby, I get that. But I’m not them, and I’m trying so goddamn hard to show you that. So… if you can’t give me that chance, tell me now so I can get out before my heart is completely destroyed.”
Raen dropped her head, exhaling hard. The words burned Chris’ tongue, echoed painfully in the air around them, but he’d needed to say them. Raen wasn’t the only victim here, he’d been hurt in the past too, he was taking a huge risk too, giving his heart to another woman after Erin’s betrayal.
“I don’t blame you for thinking the worst of men, but it hurts that you still think the worst of me.”
“Chris,” Raen whispered, keeping her head low. The silence stretched uncomfortably.
“I’m gonna go.” Chris replied, giving up on sounding nonchalant and just trying to keep his voice steady. The next words out of his mouth were the most painful he’d ever uttered, and he was desperately relieved Raen wasn’t looking into his eyes, because they were rapidly filling with tears. “I think we should take a few days… think about what we’re trying to do here.”
“Chris-” Raen inhaled sharply, fear entering her eyes, tearing into Chris’ heart. “I didn’t mean-”
“Not goodbye, doll. Just a break. I need to think too and you… you need to decide if I’m worth your time.” Chris stepped back, clamping hard on the desire to give in and stride back towards Raen, draw her into his arms and take back what he’d just uttered. He opened the door and stepped through, pausing before he shut it behind him to mutter quietly, the words barely audible to himself over the pounding of his breaking heart. “We’ll talk in a few days, Raen…. Goodnight.”
Chris made it halfway to his truck before he couldn’t stop himself any longer and turned around, eyes casting over the charming little house that he had started to picture himself in, maybe relaxing on the front deck with the woman he was falling so hard for as a gentle rain storm made the air around them smell fresh. He saw Raen at the window, watching him, a lamp silhouetting her form but then he turned back, squaring his jaw and drawing on the same grim determination that had dragged him from his hospital bed over five years ago. Not letting his eyes stray to the rear-view mirror, he guided the truck down the road and away.
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thewritewolf · 5 years ago
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Eating Habits Chapter 14: Baby Steps
Marinette is freaking out since the student spring fashion show is coming up soon. Chloe finds healing in her own way. 
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 (Final)
Enjoy!
Read on Ao3
Marinette’s foot tapped a rapid tempo as she watched the final preparations for the dry run of the spring show from her chair near the changing rooms. She wasn’t sure what it looked like from the seats, but backstage it was a sort of ordered chaos, not unlike backstage at the Jagged Stone concert a few months ago. Except, this time the stakes were far more personal.
Her nerves were shot to pieces, but that was about what she expected. This show was the culmination of everything she’d been working towards for the entire semester. Her fellow students had pulled out their best work as well and it was all she could do not to rush to her pieces and do even more last minute adjustments.
A hand settled itself over her knee and stilled her fidgeting. She blinked up at Adrien who was smiling at her patiently, wearing one of her spring outfits. Crouching down in front of her, he brought his eyes level to hers.
“You must think I’m freaking out over nothing,” she said, hunching her shoulders and looking away. “I know, this isn’t much compared to… um, everything else we've done, but…”
“No, I don’t think that at all,” Adrien replied, touching her chin to gently guide her gaze back to his. “It’s your first real fashion show with a bunch of people giving their all to make an impression. People are watching now, people whose opinions are listened to in the world of fashion.”
“You’ve only gotten better at these pep talks over the years, kitty,” Marinette said dryly.
“Let them watch. I know for a fact that you are one of the best designers here, if not the best. And I’ll be right here for the entire time, doing my damnedest to show off your amazing work. They’re going to see you just like I see you.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “As the amazing.” A kiss to her temple. “Wonderful.” Her cheek. “Talented.” A chaste kiss to her lips. “Designer who is going to rock the entire fashion industry to its core.” His hands left her knees and took her hands. “And I’ll be right there, cheering you on every step of the way.”
Between the nerves and the stress and his sweet words, it took all of Marinette’s will not to turn into a crying mess right then and there. Instead, she hugged his neck and whispered thanks into his ear.
As he pulled away, she first noticed the lack of his warmth. Quickly following that was the realization that he had grabbed her coffee.
“Hey!”
“Sorry, sweetie,” Adrien said, taking a large sip. “I told you no coffee or energy drinks till the show is over. We both know that they make you more anxious than you usually are and only barely help.”
“But… tasty…”
“I’ll make you a fruit smoothie when we’re done, I promise.” He took a few steps backwards and gave her a very Chat-like wink before tossing the remainder of the cup into the garbage and taking his place in the line up.
Marinette crossed her arms and grumbled to herself. “Stupid boyfriend, trying to have my best interests at heart…”
-------------------
Marinette clenched the fabric of her skirt in her hands, desperate to release any of the nervous energy she was holding onto. Meanwhile, Alya reached for a macaroon. Halfway toward getting it to her mouth, Alya noticed Marinette’s distress and raised her eyebrows.
“You wanna talk about it, girl?”
Marinette dragged her eyes away from where Tikki and Trixx were chasing each other in the kitchen, and looked at her friend. “Actually, if we could talk about anything but the upcoming show, that’d be great.”
“Are you sure? Talking it out might help you get some of that frustration out.”
“At this point, it’s just me over thinking things. I’m happy with where my designs are, but I keep imagining them in my head, looking for anything that could go wrong.” She sighed and buried her face in her hands. “I just… need to think about something else.” Poking out from behind her fingers, she asked, “So how’s work?”
“Oh they’re about to send me out of country on some dangerous missions. But it’s all to bring the truth to the people, so that’s all that matters, right M?”
Marinette’s eyes widened and her hands ceased her fidgeting to instead cover her mouth, which had opened into a small ‘o’. “Really?!”
“No.”
All the tension that had suddenly appeared in Marinette’s shoulders vanished as quick as it had appeared. She leaned across the couch to smack Alya. “Not cool, Al! You really worried me!”
“Sorry,” Alya replied with a snicker. “But nah, they’ve still got me doing local news stories. Which isn’t so bad, Paris is a pretty interesting place after all. Even without the supervillains.” Alya took a deep sip of her glass of red wine, a constant companion of their girls’ night in days. “And don’t get me wrong - I get why they don’t want to give the big, juicy stuff to the newbie reporter.”
“But…?” Marinette prompted when Alya starting staring into space, biting her lower lip.
“But… I’m starting to get restless again. I feel that energy from back when I was doing the Ladyblog - always something to do back then! An akuma to track down, a victim to interview, puzzle pieces to put together.” She absently swirled her wine glass. “A lot of freedom too...”
“You’re getting that look again.”
“Look?”
“Mhm. Your game face. You want your next big challenge.” She gently shoved Alya’s shoulder. “And go for it, Al! You can still do your job while having something on the side. A passion project or something.”
Alya considered this with another sip of her wine.
“You might be onto something there, girl.” She nudged her with her elbow. “But hey! Talking is only part of what we came here to do. How about we start up a bad rom com?” Marinette groaned. “Oh, hush. You’re basically a living rom com anyway, with how you and Adrien are.”
While Marinette sputtered and tried to argue, Alya cackled as she ducked out of Marinette’s reach to put the dvd in.
--------------
“How I missed Paris,” Chloe sighed as she stepped outside of the fashion boutique, carrying two large bags of the latest styles. “You should see some of the things I saw Americans wearing. Ridiculous, Adrikins. Absolutely ridiculous.”
Adrien chuckled as he fell into step beside her, the padding of his comfortable shoes drowned out by the confident clicking of Chloe’s heels. “So that’s all you missed while you were abroad, Chlo?”
Chloe peered at him over her large sunglasses. “Coy isn’t a good look on you. But no,” she added after a moment, “I suppose I missed the people too. You. Kagami.” Adrien watched her patiently and eventually she groaned and stamped her feet. “Okay, fine! Even Alya, Nino, and Marinette.”
“I’m happy to hear it,” Adrien said, giving her a thumbs up. “They’re certainly warming up to you too.”
“Right. Good. Not that I care, or anything.” Chloe sniffed and walked just a little bit faster. Adrien fought down a smile - he could recognize Chloe running away from her feelings any day of the week. Which is why he was surprised when she slowed down again, just before they reached her living space. When she spoke, it was more of a whisper. “So mom called again.”
The smirk he’d been wearing vanished in an instant, a serious expression replacing it. “What did she want this time?”
“Same as usual,” Chloe replied while swiping her card at the gate. “She was asking when I’d be coming back. It’s getting harder to tell her that I won’t be.”
“You’ll have to eventually,” Adrien said patiently. “You’ve already put it off for more than six months now.”
“Duh, Adrien. I get that part.” There was venom in her voice, but it was half-hearted and gone by the time she continued. “But knowing that and actually doing something about it aren’t the same thing.”
“You’ll get there eventually,” Adrien said, putting a hand on Chloe’s shoulder. “And it’s alright to be scared. She dominated your life for a long time. No one is expecting you to get over that overnight.”
“Yeah… I guess…”
“If you want, I can be there when you call.” Adrien brightened up and said, “And you can invite Kagami too! She’s got a lot of experience at telling parents to back off, so I bet she’d be willing to give a few tips.”
Chloe smirked. “You might be onto something there. If I freeze up, maybe she can even take over and chew out dear old mom for me.”
“There’s the spirit!” Adrien held up his hand. “High fives for spunky Asian girlfriends!”
Laughing, Chloe managed to high five him. “Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.” They stepped into her apartment. She stopped and frowned at the air. “You know what I just realized?”
“What’s that?”
“It’s not just about taking out the toxic people in your life. You need to add good people if you want to heal.” She smiled at him. It was a rare smile on Chloe - there was no smugness, no spite to it. Just honest joy and peace. “I’m glad you’ve been in my life all these years, Adrien. Even when I didn’t deserve it, you were always a good friend.”
She hugged him and after a moment of hesitation he returned the hug.
“That’s the thing, Chloe. You always did deserve a good friend. You just didn’t realize it.”
---------------
Adrien as Chat Noir slipped in through their shared balcony after a long day hanging out with Chloe. He was emotionally spent after doing all he could to help his old friend and at this point all he wanted to do was curl up next to Marinette and go to sleep.
That plan had a slight hiccup when he looked up to see Marinette walking around in a circle, staring at one of her outfits for the spring show. It was actually one of the ones that he would be wearing, but the important fact was that it had been finished weeks ago. Specifically because it was so easy to get the measurements done.
“Hey, kitty,” she said absently, never once taking her eyes off of the outfit.
“Hey, love bug.” He walked behind her and put his arms around her waist, tucking his chin on the space between her shoulder and neck. This close, he could practically feel her exhaustion, from the way her body was sagging a little, to how her eyes struggled to stay open even as she focused on the task at hand. She needed sleep, even if she pretended like she didn’t. “Whatcha you looking at?”
She sighed. “Just… going over all my pieces for the show. Again. I need to make sure everything is perfect.”
“Hm…” he made a show of peering at the spring outfit. “Looks perfect to me. Why don’t you give it a once over in the morning, huh?”
“No, no, that’s alright. I might as well get it done now.” She squirmed a little against his embrace, but didn’t really try to escape.
Changing tactics, Adrien said, “Well, I’m going to bed. It was a long day today… I could use some cuddles.”
“Uh-huh,” Marinette replied distantly. Her focus was entirely on the mannequin in front of her. “Go to bed, I’ll be there in a bit.”
“Well, I didn’t want to have to do this, but…” Quickly changing his grip, Adrien picked her up in a princess carry. Marinette squeaked in protest as she was carried to the bedroom.
“Adrien! I’m-”
“-driving yourself crazy trying to find non existent flaws? I agree completely. Besides, you’re practically dead on your feet.”
“I am not,” Marinette said with a yawn. Her already feeble struggles had turned into her resting her head on his chest, eyes fluttering as she tried to keep them open.
“Mhm. If you really want to worry yourself sick again, you can do that in the morning.” He gently set her in bed and pulled the blankets over her. “Claws in.” A flash of green light later and he was crawling in beside her. “But for now - sleep.”
“No, I don’t want to,” she said, but she was already clinging onto him, eyes shut and face buried into his chest as she drifted off to sleep.
Adrien listened to her steady breathing as he stroked her hair, feeling himself follow her into unconsciousness.
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ff-imagines · 5 years ago
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General headcanons: salty tofu
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I saw a man so beautiful I started crying?
• baby boy.... baby boy....
• salty having a crush on you is... gonna make things difficult for both of you
• he’d rather walk a mile barefoot over legos that are actively on fire than admit he has feelings for anyone
• so as a result he’s... very defensive and quick to end your conversations
• he’s essentially the third grader who’s mean to you cause they have a crush on you lol
• honestly it doesn’t take much to break down that wall though
• even the most basic kindness has him looking at you differently
• but he’s still gonna be high and mighty about it lol
• “don’t you have other duties? Or is this you submitting to being my toy?”
• “I don’t need your attention. Go find someone else to dote on.”
• proceeds to get sad cause you’re not paying attention to him
• you’re gonna have to make the first move, baby boy is a lil bit oblivious when it comes to romance
• and general social interaction
• the second you do, his walls come completely down and he’s a big ol’ cuddly softie
• he also drops the whole toy thing pretty quickly when he sees you’re not happy with it
• “Oh? Do you want to be my toy forever? ... Eh? Why is your expression so unsightly? ... Darn it, okay I was wrong, I won't call you a toy again... So... smile.”
• gets frustrated super easily over small stuff
• most of the time it has to do with people making him feel uncomfortable, or hurt
• he likes to pretend words don’t hurt him, but they really do.
• sometimes if he’s hurt enough, he’ll tear up
• he’s got a sorta hiccup-y cry, his throat locks up making it hard to talk, and he hugs himself tightly. Sometimes he’ll wipe at his face to get rid of the tears.
• if you tease him or poke fun at him for crying he’ll loose his shit
• he can dish out teasing, but he cant really take it in return, especially when he’s vulnerable like that
• but he’d also never tease you for crying either, he mostly just starts feeling angry at whatever made you cry
• “salty you can’t fight a tv screen” “W A T C H M E“
• the best way to cheer him up when’s he’s sad/grumpy?
• be needy
• he likes that you rely on him, even for small things like a hug
• another quick way to get him in a good mood?
• spa day!
• face masks, bath bombs, cucumbers on your eyes, diy manicures, he loves it all!
• his favorite bath bomb is black with just enough glitter that it’s not excessive, and it smells like apricots
• he can’t really relax unless he has some kind of white noise, so you both take turns picking a music playlist
• on days where you just can’t come to an agreement on what to play or who’s turn it is, you both just settle on the 24 hour lo-fi stream.
• likes the water skin boilingly hot, so good luck lmao
• sometimes sits across from you in the tub and just chills, but mostly prefers to have you back against him as to two lean back and enjoy the smells and feeling of the water.
• likes manicures, but can’t paint his nails well himself without making a mess on his fingers
• his hands are just a little shaky as a default, so hes gonna appreciate any help he can get
• won’t admit it tho so you’ve gotta being it up
• “hey maybe we should do each other’s nails!” And run before he does yours
• he also loves getting his hair played with
• there have been times where he’s actually fallen alseep while you messed with his hair because of how relaxed it made him
• he doesn’t like messing with makeup as much
• don’t get me wrong, on himself he wings eyeliner so sharp it can stab someone
• but on someone else? His hands are twitchy as ever and he’s too worried about stabbing you in the eye
• he just sticks to styling your hair
• he’s not absolutely phenomenal with hair, but it doesn’t look bad either, and he tries his best.
• as time goes on he’ll get better with it, and his styles will slowly get more and more impressive.
• chews on his tongue piercing somtimes when idleing
• also he talks a lot, that causes the metal to knock against his teeth somtimes
• because of that his teeth are a little sensitive, so he doesn’t like ice cream or any cold food that much cause like.... ouch
• prefers marzipan and punishingly dark chocolate
• plays his guitar often, would love if you did too!
• if you don’t know how to play very well, for your sake and his, don’t ask for lessons from him.
• he won’t be mean to you, just light teasing
• but his patience level is -18393024 so uhm
• he’s not a very good teacher :(
• he’ll try!
• he can help you with a few chords, but frankly?
• he’s not only been doing this for a long ass time, he’s also just naturally gifted when it comes to music and pitch recognition
• so if you take a while to get it he’s just gonna be “????? Why confusion this easy ?????”
• he tries his best but eventually just sighs and pulls out his phone to play a YouTube tutorial lol
• if you’ve not already got piercings, he’d love to see you with some!
• if you asked about getting them he’d at first tease a little about you wanting to be like him
• then he’d tell you basic care etc cause he’s not a healer, he can’t really help you if you get infected
• he gets really upset to see you in pain so he kinda dotes on you a lot, getting a piercing does nothing but encourage him to make sure you’re doing ok.
• honestly he’s cool with whatever you wanna do, don’t want piercings? “That’s fine, now listen to three days grace with me I’m bored”
• honestly is very laid back when it comes to hanging out with you alone.
• he trusts you with everything he has, why have worries when you’re right here?
• he likes to talk, but he enjoys just sitting in comfortable silence with some kinda white noise just as much.
• literally anything you want to do, he’ll go with you
• not without complaints, but he’ll go
• you don’t even really have to warn him either
• “ I wanna go hiking up an active volcano” “aight lemme grab some snacks and some bug spray”
• normally doesn’t really have a ‘schedule’, just kinda goes wherever. He lives day by day, making time for his basic needs.
• on rare days he’ll drag you around town looking for something to do
• but for the most part he looks to you for plans and schedules because he legit can’t be assed what you two do as long as he’s doing it with you.
• he kinda has this weird thing with math
• that being that he’s freakishly good at it
• it’s just another thing that he just gets
• he also knows that he’s good at it and he’s pretty proud of that
• will be beaming if you ask for help with any kind of math
• will also be proud if you ask him for help with really anything
• gives the classic “ what, can’t handle it yourself?” line and then immediately gets whatever you need done
• very much likes to hug you
• very very much likes to hug you
• his fav is wrapping his arms around you from behind, and if you’re short enough, placing his head on the top of yours. If you’re a bit on the taller side, he settles for your shoulder.
• but there is one thing he likes more than hugs
• cuddling!!!!
• “tonight, I want to hold you as you fall asleep~”
• and he definitely means that.
• he sleeps on his side, only on his back if he’s tired enough to pass out immediately, never on his stomach as it makes him feel weirdly queasy.
• he loves when you’re on your side facing him, and he’s got you in an arm prison.
• tuck your head under his chin and he’ll actually melt into a puddle
• he’s always very warm but he has this weird tick where no matter how hot a room is, he thinks it’s cold
• “cold...” “salty it’s 94 degrees” “c o l d . . . ”
• cuddling with him is pretty pleasant as long as you don’t get hot to easy, cause he piles on the blankets and curls into you like you’re a fire on a -27 degree night.
• honestly when it comes to you, sweet tofu is obsession, salty tofu is possession.
• don’t get me wrong, he’s not keeping you on lockdown
• but he gets jealous very easy lol
• of course more reasonably, he’s not gonna be crying while holding up your phone going “WhO tHe FuCk iS mOm??”
• it’s more that if you’re in public and someone’s gaze lingers just a little to long
• he’s got an arm around you pulling you closer to his side and he’s glaring
• he might be your living teddy bear, but he knows how to make himself look very menacing
• he doesn’t like random strangers talking to you, mainly because he doesn’t know them and therefore does not trust that they don’t have bad intentions
• “He was asking for directions to the chip isle salty” “didn’t like the look in his eye” “he was 15” “and”
• he finds the stories you bring home of being hit on or asked out off putting, but he mostly laughs, saying “did they really think they had a chance with what’s mine?”
• he feels safer knowing that not only will you turn down others flirting, but you’ll openly laugh with him at that person for even trying.
• it’s an ego boost, but it also makes him proud of you for being able to stand your ground.
• but... if someone ever makes advancements toward you on front of him?
• oh no.
• The fool. The buffoon. They have no idea the absolute hell they’ve just unleashed upon themselves.
• he has no qualms defending you with actual violence
• if the time ever comes where he turns his back for a few minutes and comes back to see you looking uncomfortable while some person is trying a little too obviously to flirt with you?
• beat someone’s ass mode: engaged
• he’d come up beside the person and just grab onto their forearm with one hand, the other hand is at his side in such a firm fist that his palms are turning white
• he’s squeezing them punishingly tight as he leans close to their face and asks what the fuck they think they are doing
• safe to say the creep is no longer bothering you.
• poor baby kinda stands for a bit and just pulls you tight into his side, shaking his head and muttering about how shameless some people are
• call him your knight while he’s muttering, it’ll catch him off guard and you’ll get a rare blush from him
• just take him home and cuddle the teddy bear. His poor heart can’t take the thought of some gross stranger taking you away from him.
• the only reason for his jealously is because of his insecurities.
• “what if one day I’m not enough?”
• those thoughts happen less and less as he spends more and more time with you.
• you’ve only proven that you’ll stick with him till the bitter end.
• with your love, and his rock playlist at full blast, can’t really ask for anything else.
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Ch-Ch-Changes
Wow that’s a cheesy title, and I only partially apologize. 
SO. This is my first Sanders Sides fic. I’m kind of excited about it, but this lil’ monster is an angsty mess, so we’ll see how it goes.
This fic is set to take place immediately after the filming of the “Making Changes” video (which I really love, so I have no idea why it had to be that one that inspired this nonsense. Also, hence the title), so Virgil is referred to as Anxiety here. I know, I hate it, too, but I’m being true to the timeline. (Edit: I JUST realized I called him “Virgil” like 12 times in this, so sorry I can’t even stick to my own author’s note.)
Summary: It’s not unusual for Anxiety to have issues with a video, but this time, things seem a little more tense than normal. As can be expected, the ever-lovable Patton swoops in and just wants to get to the bottom of what’s eating Anxiety.
Word Count: 1,855 (ish)
Pairing: Platonic Moxiety (MoralityxAnxiety)
Warnings: Angst, Self-Deprecation, Yelling, Crying, Mild cursing, Depression-like/Suicidal-like speech (ex: You’d be better off without me, kind of stuff), Mention of Spiders (please let me know if I missed any)
Also, because she was precious enough to say she’d like to be, I’m taking the lovely @ssides whose writing first inspired me to actually type this out. 
A soft knock at his door.
"Anxiety? Kiddo? You in there? Can we talk?"
The Anxious Side could detect just a hint of a tremble in Patton's tone, and knowing he'd upset the sweet Side supplied him with a painful twinge of guilt. He had been a bit dramatic when he'd stalked off after the most recent Sanders Sides video, and throwing each of the other three a glare to beat satan probably didn't make anything better. 
He'd glanced back long enough to gauge their responses: Logan typically unaltered; Roman dramatically responsive as always; Patton...plainly hurt. Like, really hurt. The Moral Side had immediately vanished with glistening eyes and hunched shoulders, and the shame of being the cause of that had haunted Anxiety all day.
"Yeah, Pat, what is it?" He kicked himself; it wasn't supposed to come out that harsh.
"Oh, uh, I just wanted to, you know, make sure...you're okay..." 
Patton sighed. 
"Anxiety, can I please come in?"
"Why?"
"I need to apologize."
"What?" 
That got Anxiety's attention. Patton couldn't even kill a fly (seriously, Thomas swatted a fly last week, and Patton gave it a full-on funeral, eulogy and all), so what on earth could Patton think he'd done that required an apology?
"I said I need to-"
"I heard you." Anxiety mumbled as he opened his bedroom door. "For what? What on earth did you do to me? If anyone should apologize, it should be that punk-faced Prince."
"Now, kiddo-" Patton cut himself off when Anxiety physically braced himself for a stern talking-to. "Sorry, no lecture right now. It's apology time. I know we put you through a lot today, buddy, and I'm really sorry about that. We shouldn't have made you so uncomfortable by changing you around so much."
The Anxious Side's eyes went wide. None of the Sides had ever apologized for what they did in a video before.
"I-I mean...it's not okay..." Anxiety stuttered out, blushing a bit. He didn't want to give Patton a hard time, but he also respected Patton too much to lie to him. Plus, he was tired of pretending that what they did didn't bother him.
"I know." Patton looked him straight in the eyes, his own glistening behind his glasses. "I was wondering, kid- Anxiety, if you could tell me why that upset you so much. Obviously, you don't have to if you don't want to, but..."
Anxiety averted his gaze, feeling his stomach fluttering uncomfortably. 
"It's okay if you don't want to, kiddo." Patton feigned a smile. "I just thought I'd ask."
As the other Side began to leave, Anxiety felt a strange sensation in his chest, a kind of aching disappointment and longing he'd never felt before.
"Patton-" Both Sides had wide eyes as Patton turned to see Anxiety's trembling fist white-knuckling the bottom of his cardigan. Patton didn't move for a full five seconds, and Anxiety felt sick. 
He'd screwed up. 
He looked too desperate. 
Only he could freak out the most loving and devoted-
Anxiety’s cheeks burned when he felt Patton's hand on top of his, the Moral Side's soft palm and fingers enclosing his with a soft, loving squeeze. Patton's gaze strayed to the interior of Anxiety's room, and the anxious side took a deep breath, turning a little too quickly to lead the other into his corner of Thomas's mind.
------------------------------
No one has ever been inside Anxiety's room before, and having such a sweet, sunshine-y presence in his dominantly dark domain was startling, to say the least. Anxiety braced for Patton to scrutinize the gloom of his room but was shocked when Patton practically squealed, "Oh my GOODness Jack and Sally!!" and ran over to the Nightmare Before Christmas posters on the wall. "These are so cool!”
"Ah-thanks?" The Anxious Side replied, setting himself cross-legged on his bed as Patton took in the full scope of his habitat, noting the wide-eyed glance Patton shot toward his thick, decorative cobwebs. He'd conjured them up himself, and he was pretty proud of them.
"Uh, say, kiddo, there's no, uh, spiders in these webs, right?"
"Of course not, Pat, I can't make living things."
"Oh, good." Patton swallowed as he lowered himself on the bed, a comfortable, if not a tad awkward, distance from the Anxious Side. "So, about the whole...changes thing."
"R-right." Anxiety swallowed, his pulse picking up speed. He hated when someone's attention was so firmly placed on him like this, but....this was Patton, after all, the least judgmental being on the planet. If anyone deserved his confidence, it was this polo-wearing, cardigan-toting ball of sunshine. "Well, it's just...." How could he articulate it without sounding....whiny? Sad? Pathetic? Pathetic. "Remember the identity video?"
"Yeah, I do." Patton replied, a question in his tone.
"That's why. The whole "hunt for the identity" thing. I'm just....I still don't feel like I'm a part of the group yet, you know? Well, of course you don't know because you were there and accepted from the beginning..." 
Anxiety peered up at Patton, surprised to meet an intent but sad gaze. 
"And I'm still not. I don't feel accepted as a real member of the Sides because I just don’t fit in to the group as happily as the rest of you. I just seem to be a pest that hangs on for dear life because I find some inkling of purpose in trying to protect Thomas, even though it makes you guys so annoyed with me. Roman, especially, gives me a hard time, and Logan’s always on my case and you...." 
He clenched his jaw, wanting to say just the right words. 
"You're more patient with me and supportive, and I appreciate it, I really do..." 
He bit his lip, willing the mounting fear to stay in check but unable to keep his voice from rising. 
"But it's not enough. I just don't see my worth in it all, you know? I don't have a solid role or place in Thomas's life that can't be filled by all of you. The fear and worry aspect could be cancelled out by Logan taking over fight-or-flight, and Roman could be more free to dream without me. And-and you could be j-just as happy as you d-damn w-well please w-without me around to bring you d-down." 
He didn't know when he started crying, but now Anxiety's body was wracked with sobs, his eye shadow spreading across his cheeks as the tears fell more steadily. He doubled over, crossing his arms, folding into himself, and holding himself as he was so used to doing, rocking himself as his emotional tremors shook the bed.
“S-so w-what’s the p-point of even h-having m-me around, y-y-you know? It’s not l-like I’m really w-wanted. I only c-cause t-trouble-”
His breath caught in his throat when he realized his weren't the only sobs filling the air; he looked past his bangs to find Patton hunched over, his head in his hands and tears moistening the sleeves of his cardigan. Anxiety had only ever seen one of the other sides cry (when Roman lost his favorite childhood stuffed animal, Mrs. Fluffybottom), and he certainly didn't expect to ever see Patton cry. He knew the Moral Side was incredibly emotional, but he always assumed that the positivity was delegated to Patton and negativity was reserved for him.
Why was Patton even crying? 
Did he feel pity for Anxiety? 
Was his story really so pathetic? 
He held himself tighter, jumping when he suddenly felt a hand on his left shin. Patton, now hiccuping through sobs, gazed at the gloomy Side not with pity, but with what seemed to be genuine concern and sorrow. Patton's entire face was contorted in pain, and Anxiety's stomach clenched at the thought of having caused the closest thing he had to a friend so much distress.
"P-Pat, I'm sorry. I shouldn't h-have said that stuff. It’s all t-too m-much. I-I-I’m t-too m-much..." He trailed off. He was so pathetic; he couldn't even look at Patton-
"Anxiety." Patton cut in, his voice suddenly hardening. "How dare you say something like that?"
Anxiety froze, the sobs catching in his throat; he'd never heard such a tone come out of Patton before. It was firm, toeing the line of anger. He braced himself for the inevitable paternal protectiveness; he shouldn't have been so mean about he others-
"H-how D-DARE YOU say s-something like that about yourself?!" 
Anxiety’s head shot up, eyes bulging and jaw clenched tight at the simultaneous anger, sadness, worry, and confusion plastered all over Patton’s features. He’d broken- 
He couldn’t even process the thought before he felt the bed shift and arms pulling him forward. Patton embraced Anxiety with all of his strength, spluttering out," N-no one c-could EVER r-replace you! D-don't you d-dare say that! You are j-just as important as Logan a-and Roman a-and me! T-Thomas NEEDS you, Anxiety! W-we need you!" Patton took a deep breath, trying to compose himself in vain. "I...never w-want to hear you....s-say something....so...h-hateful....about yourself...again! D-do you understand?"
"I-"
"Anxiety." Patton loosened his hold just enough to let Anxiety breathe easier, truly steadying his tone as he spoke softly into the Anxious Side’s ear. "You have a place, right here with the rest of us. With me, and Logan, and Roman, and Thomas. We need you, Anxiety. You are irreplaceable and so important to all of us, especially Thomas. I need you to know that. I need you to know you matter, Anxiety."
Anxiety sat for a moment, awed and limp in Patton's embrace.
“ And...I love you so much. “
He...loves me?
Before he could stop them, Anxiety's arms were wrapped around Patton's back, hanging on for dear life as the sobs overtook him once more. No one had ever shown him physical affection like this before, or any affection, really, and Anxiety couldn't deny that this was the warmest and just....the most he had ever felt since he came to be. It caused a strange burning and clenching in his chest, a yearning to be held forever, a sorrow at knowing he'd missed out on something for so long, and the mounting fear that it would be over far too soon. The last fear was unfounded, for Patton sat and held Anxiety even after the tears stopped flowing and his trembles settled, not letting go until the Anxious Side let out a long sigh and released his hold.
"I'm sorry, Pat. I'm so sorry." Anxiety held Patton's gaze. "I can't say I'll never ever feel that way again, or act out again, but....can I at least know I can count on your when I do?"
"Of course, kiddo, whatever you need whenever you need it." Patton smiled.
"Thank you, Patton."
"So...do you wanna be alone now, or?....I was thinking we could watch a movie or something to settle down a bit. Your pick!"
Anxiety searched the other's face for a minute, and then, giving him a shy smile of his own, replied, "Yeah, Pat. I'd like that a lot."
“Alrighty, then!” Patton rose, offering Anxiety a hand before preparing to transfer them to his realm. 
“Hey, Pat?” 
“Yeah, kiddo?”
“I love you, too.”
All of my Sanders Sides fanfics
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tauers-go-dutch · 7 years ago
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Italy: like putting on an old boot
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Since losing my passport in Madrid, I had a two-week window before our next trip to get a new one. I ended up going to the US Consulate in Amsterdam, which was an adventure all in its own. If you picture the DMV, but on ‘roids, that is about the experience of applying for a passport abroad.  After getting a new passport photo, I got to wait outside the building on the literal coldest day of the year for an hour before being ushered through security in order to wait for another two hours interspersed with quick trips up to the counter to explain that I don’t know what happened to my passport because I lost it and then being chastised for losing my passport because I must look too young to possibly be able to comprehend the gravity of importance such a document.  Oh, and I had to pay $140.  But luckily the US is very efficient at printing rush order passports and it arrived the following Friday, just in time for our trip to Rome.  But of course, there would be one more hiccup in the story- the city lost power on Friday afternoon when I planned to pick up my passport.  So the Consulate did not have power… or at least the backup generator did not power the whole building.  Luckily, the guards were able to just grab the newly printed passports (I was not the only one trying to pick one up that day), and I was on my way.
Once we got into Rome, the same feeling of joy I had from my first visit washed over me, and I think I had a smile on the whole weekend. Rome is a huge city, so it is crowded, busy, smelly, full of trash, a bit rundown, etc.  However, I love it for the amazing art, culture, and food.  What can I say, Rome was the center of Western culture for much of history, and for much of my Catholic upbringing (and my brief stint as a Latin nerd), so it generates some degree of awe.
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We threw in our coin, so I guess we’ll be back again
We checked into our hotel, which was across from some state building.  When checking us in, the clerk said if we take photos from the window, the state employees might think we are spies and send people over to the hotel to investigate. I’m pretty sure he was joking?  Mariah may have tested the theory the next evening after a few drinks.  
We went to dinner that evening and tried some authentic Roman dishes, including an artichoke sampler platter. To be honest, steamed artichokes and butter was one of my sister’s favorite meals growing up, but they were never one of mine. But the Roman style artichokes blew me away. They are originally prepared by Jewish immigrants, but were quickly adopted by the Roman locals, so much so that Rome is one of the largest artichoke producers in the world. The Jewish version is lightly battered and fried, while the Roman version is steamed, and both are incredible. I also had pasta al’amatriciana (tomato sauce with pork cheek) and Mariah had ravioli before we split an incredible tiramisu.  Before calling it a night we walked over to the Trevi fountain and threw in a coin.  I guess we’ll be back one day.
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Magical artichokes
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We had some super delicious pastries in our hotel the next morning before heading to St. Peter’s Basilica. After taking some initial photos, I was talked into upgrading our museum tickets to a guided tour.  While this is expensive, it is worth it- the guide is great, but you’re really paying to skip the 3+ hour line to see the basilica from the museum (and Sistine Chapel).  We learned why the Vatican is its own country (long, convoluted story short- the modern church never wanted to join the united Italy, and the arrangement stuck- helps when you have your own private army). The Vatican treasures are as incredible as they are extensive. We saw Greek/Roman gods, human personifications of the Tiber river, supposed tombs of Helena and Constantina (mother and daughter of Constantine), maps of the world, paintings and tapestries for days, and a Roman Zach Galifianakis. But this was all a lead in to the Sistine Chapel, of Michelangelo fame. Of course there are no photos, but the Creation of Adam and the Last Judgment are every bit as amazing as hyped. We then fast tracked to the staggeringly beautiful St. Peter’s basilica.  We saw the tombs of the popes (St. John Paul II has his own chapel on the main floor) and the Pieta, but my favorite is the altar from Bernini.  Just look at the pictures.
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St. Peter’s Basilica
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Is that you, Zach?
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Pieta
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Pope JPIII!
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Bernini’s altar
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After a lunch of arancini (rice balls- I might not be able to eat the ones at Cinzetti’s ever again) and cacao e pepe (literally cheese and pepper- basically Italian mac ‘n cheese for adults), we set out to explore the city.  We saw Castle Sant’Angelo (the pope fortress/Church of Illumination), Piazza Navona, The Pantheon, the Spanish Steps, and so much gelato.  Eventually, we met some friends who also happened to be in Rome, and had dinner and a shared a few bottles of wine.  
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Gelato number two - sadly, we have no evidence of number one
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The Pantheon
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These two like their Italian wine
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Brent and Christine happened to be in town
The next morning, we packed in some more sightseeing with the Altar of the Fatherland (Mussolini funded statue dedicated to the united Italy), Palatine Hill, the Capitoline Wolf, and Turtle Fountain (which does not have live turtles in the fountain). We ventured to the Jewish quarter of town, and had more marvelous artichokes, pasta, and possibly some of the best table bread ever (I had to take a picture it was so good).  We went to a beer bar and enjoyed some brews (Italy has some good breweries), before going over to the hip Trastevere neighborhood and having more food (including a tremendous prosciutto sandwich which I would not shut up about, more arancini and a pizza) and beers.  We needed to get back to the hotel, and decided to walk by the Colosseum and the Circus Maximus on the way.  Unfortunately, the sky opened up and we were drenched in ten minutes… so we made a quick pit stop for more gelato to let the rain pass.  There are worse things.
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Remus and Romulus!
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No live turtles
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Mariah’s happy place (Gelato three of four?)
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...and mine (prosciutto sandwich)
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Sometimes I can get her to drink a beer
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But it generally involves bribery with margherita pizza
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Aaaaand it’s pouring outside
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Rain keeps the tourists away - most of them, anyways
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Are you not entertained?
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All that’s left of the Circus Maximus
We packed a ton into our Rome weekend, so in Florence (the following weekend) we were a bit more relaxed. We arrived late on Friday so our adventure really just started on Saturday morning. Our first stop was to the Cathedral of Santa Maria del Fiore, which is better known for ‘il Duomo,’ or the massive dome that adorns the church and dominates the city skyline.  It was a fairly easy climb, but the vertigo is real when you are on the interior of the church and looking down. But you are rewarded with amazing art reminiscent of Dante’s Inferno (Florence is his home town, btw) and panoramic views of the city.  
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I hope you’re not claustrophobic... or afraid of heights!
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Afterwards, we put our name down at Trattoria Mario for lunch, and killed some time at the markets before our table was ready. I don’t think you can see more leather outside of a Vegas S&M convention, but to be honest it is really cool.  We stopped into a market and bought some pastries- creampuff for me and a chocolate cookie for Mariah- to hold us over. Luckily we did not have to wait for lunch long.  Trattoria Mario is regarded as the best restaurant in town, and is only open for lunch. The place is tiny, and you will be seated at a two-person table with two other people and sit on stools that are made for toddlers. The bread is disappointing, but the food is marvelous. The place is meat-centric, and their specialty is the classic bistecca alla fiorentina, which is a super thick, bloody porterhouse steak. The frites were good too.
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After lunch, we crossed the famed Ponte Vecchio to the other side of the city.  We walked up to the Piazzale Michelangelo for more magnificent views of Florence.  We walked along the river and stopped by a small tea shop, and sampled some of their goodies. We walked out with some good stuff, and an aspiration to become a tea sommelier and to (keep) travel(ing) the world. We had a rest at a dessert shop before finding dinner (easier said than done, since our first choice for dinner just never opened the restaurant for service- no notice posted physically or online), and closed the night with more beers. It was a bit early, but we have been traveling a lot.  
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It was a pretty creepy sculpture...
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We slept in, but woke to go to the Galleria dell’Accademia, which is a museum that has nothing of much significance except for a little piece from Michelangelo called the David. Before seeing the main event, we did explore some of the other parts of the museum, including the musical instruments and some religious paintings.  Two asides- first, we saw a pair of little girls (say seven) on a private guide with their parents looking at the musical instruments and throwing out some serious knowledge of the Medicis and the Renaissance art movement (the girl was a self-proclaimed art history buff, and I believe it!). Second, some of the art made to explain the dogma of Christianity is as bizarre (though simultaneously stylish) as the Thai paintings we saw in Bangkok. Seriously, if I didn’t have knowledge of the immaculate conception, I would have thought Christians believed that an old cloud god shot pigeons at a sleeping woman while some creepy dude with wings looked on approvingly. 
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But onto the David.  It is every bit as masterful as everyone says.  The story is unbelievable too.  Just think, some 27 year-old just said, ‘hey, can I use that chunk of marble over there? I wanna make something for you.’  And then the Florentine people were graced with one of the most incredible works of art in history is ridiculous.  Michelangelo was TWENTYSEVEN!!!  Oh, and he made the Pieta before that (pictured above, from Rome).
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Just look at him! 
Afterwards we just relaxed. We had some pizza, coffee, macarons and beers. I did grab a snack- a lampredotto.  There was a stand just outside of our hotel which filled up during lunch with locals, so I figured I’d try it. The sandwich is made from spiced lamb intestine, and it’s pretty good. I mean, it’s no prosciutto sandwich, but its good. We did make our outside the Uffizi gallery before leaving, and took in some of the city’s most famous patrons before saying goodbye.
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I throw my hands up in the air sometimes... singing ayo... 
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NBD, just our country’s namesake
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Last minute snack
Italy is superb.  It is a country with so many different layers of nuance and culture.  Sometimes I feel people boil it down to pizza and statues, but it’s so much more.  Each region, from Rome, Florence, Venice, Naples, Sicily, Milan, etc. is so different from the next. The food, outside of the tourist traps, is every bit of what makes Italian fare heralded as some of the world’s best. The culture and history is dense and rich- just think, Rome was the center of the western world through two different points of time for two different reasons. Sure, Italy has its problems and frustrations like we all do, but it is a country I will enjoy returning to time and time again.
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hollygopossumlovesj2 · 8 years ago
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Swept Away, Part 1
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Characters: Dean Winchester (23 years old, so preseason 1), Reader. (future x reader) mentions of John, Sam and Reader’s family.
Warnings: ANGST, Dean’s self worth problems, severe injury, canon level violence. Mention of medications for pain and anxiety. Also, abuse of John Winchester’s parenting skills. This part is PG-13 but will be at least R in future parts. (Also credit to whoever made the gif, its not mine. I found it on Google.)
Summary: John sends Dean to the mountains of Agness, Oregon alone to track a possible werewolf. What he finds turns out to be a little more than he can handle. Dean is left wondering if his father set him up to fail.
A/N: So, this was written for @mamaredd123‘s Angst Appreciation Day Challenge, Shred All the Hearts. My prompt was to use the song ‘Listen to Your Heart’ by Roxette and to rip peoples hearts out. I hope I deliver on this request. I’m late as hell and I deeply apologize. This is only the first part, but there is plenty of angst here to enjoy.
I know there's something in the wake of your smile. I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yea. You've built a love but that love falls apart. Your little piece of heaven turns too dark.
 It was a sunny, warm day in Agness, Oregon, and you couldn’t get a Roxette song out of your head. You had no idea why it was stuck on replay, but it wasn’t unusual for your brain to taunt you in this way. Wisps of thin clouds that look like they've been painted on a bright blue sky float by on a cool breeze. A promise that the temperature will drop nearly thirty degrees when the sun goes down due to the proximity of the mountains. You like the feeling of freedom that the place gives you, but you could do without the dramatic drops in temperature.
 Your house sitting while your grandparents are spending the summer touring Europe. Being a junior in college, and accepting anything that would give decent pay, you are actually enjoying your alone time. Whether you are home in Seattle, Washington or at school at Washington State in Pullman, you are constantly surrounded by people.
 Out here, in your grandparent’s cabin on the bank of the Rogue River, it's peaceful. You found yourself sitting on the deck most days, typing away at the book you've been writing for a year now. But, you can't expect much else from an English major with aspirations of publishing your many adventures one day, can you?
 You don't really want for anything out here, except for maybe a Starbucks. You drive an hour out to buy a couple of weeks’ worth of groceries and that is your quota fill of socializing. If you are feeling extra adventurous, you stop at the Olive Garden on the route back home.
 Agness is a small town, filled with mostly retired couples and the occasional tourist. From your trips into the quaint downtown to get your Starbucks fix in the form of a glass bottled Frappuccino, you’d met pretty much everyone in the neighborhood.
 The residents all treat you like you are their own grandchild, dropping off meals and baked goods regularly. There is also Dr. Marjorie Foster, a divorcee who likes to pop by after crazy days at the hospital to share a bottle of wine and sarcastic banter. So, although you are technically alone, you feel rather safe and spoiled.
 Listen to your heart when he's calling for you. Listen to your heart there's nothing else you can do.
That's probably why you were drawn to the black Chevy Impala parked to the left of the small parking lot. It was parked beneath a copse of trees, like the big black beauty could ever be inconspicuous. Add that to the silver scratches all along its side and hood, plus the flat tire that was sitting on its rim, made it even harder to miss.
 Maybe it's your insatiable curiosity that makes you walk a little closer to the damaged vehicle? It does tend to get you into a lot of trouble. You'd probably never know for sure. But you won't forget your first look inside.
 The upholstery is slashed open, bits of yellow foam and tufts of heavy cotton are strewn about. But what catches your attention is the motionless heap in the back seat that you know, just by the sinking feeling in your gut, is a person who needs help.
 You won't remember how you closed the distance between you and the car so quickly. Or your train of thought when you try to open the door only to discover it locked. You wrap your over shirt over your arm and put your elbow through the window without hesitation. You'll question your strength later.
 By now Gregory, Matilda's husband (the one who makes incredible venison stew), stops pumping gas to see what all the commotion is about. You are already digging through the seat stuffing and blankets by the time he arrives behind you.
 You faintly hear him speaking to someone on the phone, reporting in a panicked yet succinct tone to emergency officials, when you finally find bloody, pale skin. Luckily, it's attached to a person who is unfortunately torn to shreds.
 “Hey!” You don't dare move him. Isn't that one of the basic rules in case of a back or neck injury? When the final blanket is pulled back you see the sharp jaw and hint of rose gold stubble. “Sir, can you hear me?” Your only response is a growled groan muffled by the seat where he has his face buried. But, at least it's something, right?
 You take a quick survey of the inside of the car, noting used bandage papers and an empty bottle of cheap whiskey. When you climb into the car and sit down, your foot kicks an old bottle of pills. Was the man suicidal? All of this blood loss, whisky and upon looking at the label you discover that it is Darvocet. That stuff had been pulled off the market for years now!
 “Hey, you with me?” He eases himself painfully slow into a sitting position, causing him to cry out hoarsely in pain. His voice already shredded like he had already done some screaming. He's panting in loud, painfully abrupt breaths through his open mouth. Everything about his boyish face is pinched with pain. Your heart squeezes with sympathy and absolute helplessness. You should've gone to med school like your dad wanted you to. Then you'd know exactly what to do.
 You note then that his front side doesn't look any better than his blood soaked back does. It also revealed how his left leg is mangled and twisted in unnatural directions. Some of the blood is dried, making his skin stick to the seat. There’s no telling how long he'd been in this car bleeding and in pain.
 “T’ll S- S’mmy, ‘m s-s’rry.” When you finally lock onto his ghost pale face, the expression there kicks you right in the stomach with a steel toed boot. His split bottom lip and chin are quivering with repressed emotion. His voice comes out shaky and raspy because he's vibrating with shivers that you know probably mean that he's in shock. He's probably been in shock for a while.
 I don't know where you're going and I don't know why, but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye.
 This guy, because man seemed like a bit much since he couldn't be much older than you, may very well have been trying to end it all if the pain openly displayed on his face is anything to go by. Through the black, crusted blood you can tell with startling clarity the difference between the physical and emotional pain on his expressive face.
 You fight the urge to push his hair out of his eyes, which is obviously overgrown from a short haircut. It appears that way, anyway, judging by the shaggy and uneven ends. He looks like even his hair follicles hurt, caked in crusted and congealing blood, so you refrain.
 “You're gonna tell him yourself.” You answer firmly as you wrap the scratchy, stiff blanket back over his shoulders when he shivers again violently.
 Even that small movement prompts deeply hurt, wounded noises that get caught in the back of his throat, but you can tell that he's trying to hide just how much pain he’s in.
 It makes you briefly wonder how someone who should be going to college or discovering themselves learned to be that damned stoic. “Hang in there, helps on the way. Is there anyone I can call for you?” You plead, wishing that the ambulance would hurry so that there was a way to eventually rectify the abject misery on his face. He's looking at you through his pain filled gaze as he softy answers ‘no’ and it rips your heart out. You feel inept and helpless.
 Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile. The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea. They're swept away and nothing is what it seems, the feeling of belonging to your dreams.
 “An’ m’dad, too. T-t’ll m’s-srry I c’dn’t f-finish th’ j’b.” Liquid that has been building up in his eyes soon gives way to fat tears that tracks strange patterns through the new and old blood when he can't hold them back anymore. As he confesses what he thinks are his last words through busted, numb lips, it makes an icy shiver skip down your spine. “…’ts m’ f-fault… p-people ‘r g’nna die ‘causa m-me…” Tears progress into hiccupping sobs that make him squeeze his eyes shut against what you feel he thinks of as weakness and pain.
 You look briefly for a wallet or phone, finding the latter on the floorboard. You get two seconds to feel victorious before you discover that there is a giant tooth mark in the middle, cracking the small screen into unusable pieces. “Shit.” Just what the hell had he gotten into that would cause so much damage? “What's your name?” You look for somewhere uninjured to rest a reassuring hand but can't find anywhere promising.
 “Dean W’nchester.” You'll realize later how profound it is that he gave you his real name. That it was because all of his layers and walls were stripped down to nothing.
 You know his bottomless green-hazel eyes will haunt you for the rest of your life if he doesn't make it. There was no other ending that you can bear to imagine for him. You know it sounds so naïve, but someone with this much soul can't just die such a horrific death all alone. You feel a small amount of relief when you can finally hear the sirens of the ambulance in the distance.
 “They'll be here any second.” As you say the words you're not sure who you're trying to console more.
 There's an hour drive to the nearest hospital in Gold Beach in his future. It's a small hospital that is the size of maybe two Costco warehouses shoved together. But surely, amongst their few floors of equipment and educated staff, they can fix the broken pieces?
 In the two seconds of silence you decide that you can be positive enough for the both of you.
 “Dean Winchester?” You rest your hand lightly over the one he isn't using to prop himself up. It startles you when his cold sweat covered hand grasps yours back painfully tight. The way he clings to you like you're a lifeline make tears pool in your eyes. “You're gonna make it. I promise.”
 Dean’s POV:
I wake up suddenly, claws and massive, drooling jowls snap viciously at me from behind deep, shifting shadows. It feels like the beast is sitting on my chest, making it cave in. It's putrid, hot breath on my face. My ribs barely put up a fight before they snap like twigs beneath its weight, white hot, stabbing pains through my belly.
 I try to struggle free but my arms and legs won't obey my commands for them to move. To fight back. So, all I can do is wait for him to consume me for dinner. All I hear are growls and distant shouting that are drowning out a strange, tinny beeping noise in the background. It reminds me of the sound of its claws digging into Baby’s quarter panel as it tried to peel her open and drag me back out into the dark of the mountain. Of the liquid heat of pain as it's claws raked through my skin like I was soft butter.
 But then I hear, “Dean.” It kind of sounds like Sammy before his voice changed, soft and kind, if a little static and warped. But that can't be right. I hope that it means that the past few years were a nightmare, but it's only a slight hope. Good things rarely happen to a Winchester.
 It's probably some newly created fresh hell conjured to torture and destroy me in my last seconds on earth. The thing I was hunting was a were wolf, I was sure of it. He looked normal, all wolfed out with gray, wiry hair. But when it found me… It was like his senses and strength were beyond what a normal were was capable of.
 But it's too tempting not to answer, even if it's not real, as the tinny noise gets louder and more frantic. I'd give anything to be able to talk to Sam and tell him how sorry I am. I'd kill to tell him that I would stand up to Dad more so that we don't have to move around so much. So he can go to college close by. Anything. I can be better so he wants to come back.
 The crushing weight of remembering that I'm alone nearly drowns out the relief of hearing Sam's voice. But I'm just that delirious to believe.
 “S’mmy?”
 I gag, choking on something that tastes a lot like old blood and cotton balls stuck in my throat. I finally get my arm to move so that I can remove whatever is clinging to my face. So that I can catch my breath but something heavy slams into my forehead.
 “Dean. Hey, Dean! Please stop, you're gonna hurt yourself.”
 And just like that all the fight drains out of me, envisioning a young Sammy with his stupid floppy hair and worry bright little kid eyes that are way too smart for his own good. “K, S’mmy. M’ s’rry.”
 “You're okay. Everything's gonna be okay.” I feel the softest pressure against my temple and fingers brushing through my hair before I tunnel into nothingness.
 When I wake up the second time the beeping doesn't sound so tinny. With the way my body and head aches, it actually sounds like its right in my ear. Fuck. I hope Sam got the license plate number off the damn truck that mowed me over. We were gonna sue the hell outta that bastard.
 But what if he ran over Sam or Dad?
 At that thought, my eyes shoot open and I'm moving before I even know what's weighing me down. I manage to drag my legs over the side of the bed just as a nurse comes running in.
 “Mr. Winchester, please! Stop-“
 However, I've already got the momentum going apparently and drop like a bag of damn rocks to the hard linoleum floor just as I realize my leg is encased in a large, heavy cast and incapable of holding my weight. Ugh. I didn't even want to know what kind of germs I was sitting in!
 Belatedly, like a flame starting as a tiny spark only to turn into licking blaze-like pain engulfed me for an undeterminable amount of time. Like it had fought through the pain killers just for the joy of kicking my ass. I made sure not to panic. I had been in this headspace before, and nothing could be gained by losing my shit.
 The first thing I vaguely noticed as the pained haze started to morph into a deep chasm of an entire body ache was a strange warmth crawling down my arm and thigh. Upon further investigation I discovered that I had managed to pull out both my iv catheter and my pee bag. Just fucking lovely.
 The nurse with the pretty milk chocolate skin and curves enough to make a grown man weep had a look of deep sympathy on her doe features. “Well, welcome back to the world Mr. Winchester. Let's get you cleaned up, huh?”
 I was beyond grateful that she didn't coo or fawn over me, saving what was left of my pride. However, there wasn't going to be much left for long.
 What’s more embarrassing than getting a sponge bath from a beautiful woman in a totally not sexy way? It's having those same color rich eyes look at you with pity when you tell her for the millionth time that you don't have anyone to call while reinserting a catheter. Into your dick.
 If I was hunting with Dad or Sam it would be up to me to sneak outta here and meet up at the first motel in the phone book. But that was why I was laid up in bed, wasn't it? Because Dad trusted me with a job and I'd gotten myself taken outta the game in the recon phase. Pathetic. It kinda makes a person unmotivated to move at all.
 Honestly, I can't even remember how I got my dumb ass back to the Impala. 23 years of following my Dad around and apparently I had learned nothing from him. Even my memory was shot to hell, fuzzy and useless.
 I drifted in and out as Octavia, who turned out not to be a nurse, but a third year intern, filled me in on my injuries. I lost count of how many stitches they'd done and how aggressively they'd had to treat my wounds with heavy iv antibiotics. She wasn't telling me anything I hadn't been through before, but I nodded along like I was concerned just the same.
 Which, to be honest, wasn't all that hard because the memory of how these injuries were given to me appeared in flashes of red and black.
 It wasn't too damning until she told me about my leg being broken. Which, hello! Cast! They'd been able to put a regular bone pin in my tibia, and she assured me that I'd be transitioning into a weight bearing boot in a couple of weeks.
 Then, there was my right arm. Ha! They had to reset my shoulder (but honestly the damn thing had been out of joint at least three times already. No big deal.) there was a single break in my fore arm, which alright, no big. But it was just my luck that my trigger finger and thumb had been heavily bruised and had tiny hairline fractures on both of them.
 Fuck.
 Where was I gonna go? What was I gonna do when they inevitably kicked my homeless ass out of here? I didn't have enough money for pain meds, much less heavy duty antibiotics! And I'd be damned before I called my Dad to tell him how epically I failed at the hunt. At being a human being in general.
 How was I gonna finish the hunt?
 And my trigger finger was fucked!
 Distantly I registered that stupid heart monitor beeping shrilly. God damnit, how could I have gotten myself into this mess?
 “Calm down, Mr. Winchester.” Octavia sounded infinitely patient but firm as she adjusted the drip rate on my iv bag. I instantly start to feel calmer and I couldn't drum up enough energy to be indignant, sure that I was being given a sedative. If anything, I'd embrace the big black nothing just to not have to feel.
 After a few moments I felt my heart rate slow, a cloud of comfort falling over me and making my problems a distant memory even though I knew they were right on the surface.
 “Well, sugar, you do have a visitor. Now that you're back to your handsome self, do you want me to bring her back?” Her tone of voice was warm as she regarded me with her hands on her hips. I so wanted to say something flirty, maybe flash her a grin like I'd done to win over many a witness. I just didn't have the energy.
 Sam had called it disgusting. I'd said flirting was my super power. Then Sam had said that ‘being a manwhore is not a super power.’
 Aside from that, I couldn't figure out what she meant by visitor. Was it possible that Dad or… or maybe even Sam? But he'd have to be damn psychic.
 She must've read the confusion all over my face. I could hear my father’s voice right in my ear, ‘Need to work on that poker face, son. You're gettin’ sloppy.’ Yeah, if he only knew.
 “I would make time in this busy schedule of yours. Another couple of hours in that car and you wouldn't have made it if it wasn't for Y/N.” She was somehow stern while maintaining a kind face that I was afraid to cross. At my nod of agreement, she smiled wide. “Good boy.”
 I vaguely remembered a girl climbing in Baby and helping me to sit up. Which had caused a whole hell of a lotta unnecessary pain if you asked me. But she had spoken in a soft voice and held my bloody hand. Maybe she'd even promised that I would live after I'd sat there and blubbered like an infant.
 Still, no matter how relaxed I was, I wasn't prepared for the amount of beautiful that breezed through that doorway behind Octavia. In fact, I'm pretty sure my mouth was hanging open when Octavia spoke to me again in an amused tone.
 “You just use that call button if you need anything, okay?” And then she was backing out with a smile and leaving me alone with… God, it was juvenile to think, but how could she be so striking? I was all for appreciating natural beauty, but her features stood out as exotic. Like she belonged in the wild with her long, wavy hair flowing behind her.
 “Hey, Dean Winchester. You look a little better than you did a few days ago.” Her smile was warm and a little flirty as her lips formed the words and I struggled to comprehend them for a moment.
 “A few days?” I managed to get out through my scratchy throat.
 The smile fell as she bit her bottom lip when she nodded to confirm my fear. “It's actually been a couple of weeks. They were worried you wouldn't wake up again. That maybe you'd lost too much oxygen to your brain and caused some damage.”
 Ha, now Dad could officially call me brain damaged! If he ever managed to find out about this little accident. Which he wouldn't if I had any say in the matter. It's not like he checked in very often nowadays. He was still brooding over Sam leaving and being stuck with the stupid son.
 In fact, I wouldn’t put it past him to have sent me out on my own in hopes that I would get eaten. “Sorry to disappoint, Dad.” I muttered and felt the sardonic smile curl a side of my lip upward before I realized she was still here. “Sorry.” There was nothing left for me to do but close my eyes and feel my face flush in helpless embarrassment. Because that's just what I was. Helpless and in a medicated fog. I didn't even have the energy to pretend, not enough brain power to say ‘sorry, sweetheart’ with some kind of move to make her forget she ever saw me like this.
 “Well, anyway.” I heard her steps move closer and opened my eyes to watch her swap out some dying flowers for a fresh bundle of purple like she'd been doing this all week. Maybe she had? The renewed scent of lavender filling the room and blocking out some of the hospital antiseptic was familiar. “I'm glad you're awake and getting better.”
 She then sat down on the chair that was already perched close to the side of the bed with even more familiarity than the flowers. My mind immediately jumped to the Sammy-like voice that I'd heard before. “You were in here the first time I woke up.” I didn't mean for it to sound as accusatory as it did, but I was horrified that this girl kept seeing me in a vulnerable position over and over.
 “Yes.” She didn't sound the least bit remorseful, maybe she was even a little defiant. “You were dreaming about being attacked. I felt so bad when they came in to sedate you, but you were gonna tear out your stitches.” She actually did look like she'd been worried and I couldn't figure out why she would be sitting at some strangers bedside wasting energy on worrying over them.
 “How are you allowed in here anyway? Isn't it family only or some crap like that?” I was clearly lashing out and defensive because I was uncomfortable, but that doesn't mean I could stop it.
 “Well, sorry to break it to you, but this place is smaller than Mayberry and I happen to have some connections.” She obviously meant that to be funny, but as the tone of my face didn't change, she straightened up in her seat. “I can go, if you want.” Why did she have to look so earnest and sweet, flashing puppy dog eyes so much like my little brothers? Only, they were the wrong shade of brown. “I actually used to volunteer here for a few summers. So, I kind of know everyone.” Her eyes brightened a little, “but that means I know where they stash the extra jello.”
 “Well, I guess you can stay then, sweetheart.” The meds were messing with me, but I did manage to flash her a grin. If I were a stronger person I would've turned her away, but just a little human contact couldn't hurt, right? My father already thought I was a failure, might as well go for broke.
 So, she stayed. Since I wasn't much for conversation, she mostly told me everything about herself. About college, what she was studying and summer break. (And didn't that hurt, thinking of Sam preferring to hang out with kids his own age instead of contacting me) About house sitting for her grandparents and what a ‘lovely’ little town Agness was.
 Despite being on the knifes edge of explicit pain, I found her voice calming. I dozed off a few times, much to my embarrassment, but she didn't seem to mind. She only picked up where she left off.
 When my first meal since I couldn't even remember arrived in the form of cream of wheat and beef broth, she got up to leave. She patted the top of my head softly, a move I would've found irritating if it hadn't felt so good. “I'll see you tomorrow.”
 I even let her get close enough to kiss my cheek before she left and it was a pattern she continued to follow. I let her smooth down my hopeless hospital hair because it felt so damn good to be touched. I didn’t trust that I would see her again. But, I did.
 Every few days she would replace the flowers without question and smuggle in extra Jello in her bag. I got used to her coming and was horrified that I looked forward to listening to her banter on without asking me 20 (painful) questions about my life.
 The one day she didn't show up was actually a little devastating. The only thing that rectified the whole ordeal was that she'd texted Octavia to tell me she wouldn't be in. Octavia was the one to sneak in an extra pudding that night. I appreciated it, even though she brought the sugar free kind.
 On top of being denied what I'd started to affectionately call my ‘candy striper time’, I was bombarded by financial services. They were looking for identification and insurance. Which I had neither.
 The white haired, plump representative lady had left very disappointed. And I started to feel even more antsy. They were weaning me off of the iv pain killers onto pills with less strength. I could still feel the hum of muted pain through my body, but I couldn't bring myself to say a word.
 The lady returned with another clip board later that day and I felt my face flush red as my blood pressure sky rocketed. She must've seen how irritated (anxious) I was because she explained immediately.
 “Well, I had no idea you were a cousin of Y/N’s!” She paused for a moment, watching me expectantly for a reaction. When I gave her none, which what was I supposed to say? Yeah, being cousins is great! Did I even have real cousins?
 She handed over the clipboard and pen and pointed out what I needed to fill out and where I needed to sign. Ha, like my signature actually meant anything! When I was finished with that, she flipped the page over and instructed me to fill out the form beneath it.
 “The Y/L/N’s are very influential around here in the West Oregon and Washington areas. You're very lucky to be a part of that family, young man. All of your medical services will be covered. So, you make sure you keep those recheck appointments.”
 I gave her an attempt at a smile, but I'm sure it fell flat. The best thing about it was that she didn't stick around for long.
 After she left, I passed the rest of my time going between wondering how Sammy was doin and why Y/N had really picked me as a charity case. Which, come on, it wasn't like she picked me for my swollen face and sexual prowess. There had to be a catch.
 It was somewhere around day 21 when Y/N came wheeling in with a wheel chair and an expectant look on her face. The days had been slipping by in a blur of all manner of people poking and prodding. If it weren’t for the open blinds on the window, I wouldn’t have a clue.
 “I'm springing ya, Winchester.”
 I'd spent the entire day in fear of those words. Where was I supposed to go? The impala wasn't moving without a lot of tender loving care and she was parked right in the middle of town. I couldn't just stay there and wait it out until I could move again.
 “Already?” I managed, my voice was still scratched all to hell. It made me sound like I was going through freaking puberty again. Oh well, just add that to the list of shit happens. “I haven’t even called my ride yet.”
 She smiled brightly, like seriously, how were her teeth so white? “I’m your ride.”
 And how could I argue with that? ‘No, that’s okay, my Dad’ll show up. I promise?’ Or maybe, ‘Hey, my brother isn’t too far south from here. He could totally be here in a day…’
 So, against my better judgement and all of my instincts telling me that this was ridiculous… I let her lead the way for better or for worse.
Tagging: @mamaredd123, @perpetualabsurdity, @maileann, @daydreamingintheimpala, @gecko9596, @gemini75eeyore, @jotink78, @dancingalone21, @winchesterprincessbride, @sandlee44, @exploratiionist, @arryn-nyxx , @littledarlinhavefaithinme, @tiffanycaruso, @boredoutofmymindstuff, @feelmyroarrrr, @raeganr99, @ruprecht0420, @anokhi07, @letsgetyourdeanon, @sis-tafics, @jensen-gal, @theoneandonlysaucymo, @27bmm, @callmesatansprincess, @hbenth, @atc74, @ryansgirl5509, @mysteriouslyme82, @notnaturalanahi, @keepcalmandcarryondean, @sea040561, @just-another-busy-fangirl, @spn67-sister, @tas898, @wheresthekillswitch, @glendagiggles, @mandymoiselle1970
If you would like to be on this list (or off), let me know! Also, I’d love if you took the time to let me know what you think so far. This story will have at least one more part, possibly two.
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kristipetersenschoonover · 6 years ago
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Photo by Jen Connic.
For hundreds of years, there have been lantern festivals in Thailand. There are two, but the one that features krathongs (water lanterns)—is called Loi Krathong, which in 2019 will take place November 13. There are many stories behind the centuries-old festival’s origins, but it’s meant to thank the Water Goddess for a successful rice harvest (read more about that here: https://www.discoverydcode.com/dcode/articles/how-to-enjoy-thailand-water-latern-festival/)
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Just so you can get an idea of how many lanterns were around the edge of the lake. Photo by Nathan Schoonover.
Here in the US, many set water lanterns afloat for personal reasons: make a wish, say a prayer, honor a loved one. In response, water lantern festival companies produce events across the country—and they are happening everywhere throughout the year. To see a video of what it’s like, you can watch Water Lantern Festival’s promotional film here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLaJA7xAFtg
You can find an event near you, order tickets and more at the website here: https://www.waterlanternfestival.com/ You can also see if the company 1000 Lights is presenting one nearby: https://www.1000lights.com/
In February, I found out about an event on the other side of town, happening in May. I corralled some friends, and made the plans! All in all, it was a lovely evening.
There were games set up for people to play, food trucks and a drink tent, music, and Rapunzel showed up for photo opportunities (if you know the movie Tangled, then you’ll understand why she was there). There was a guided meditation over the loudspeakers for those who wanted to participate as we got closer to launch hour. There were also some vendors selling jewelry and the like, and the Water Lantern Festival store kiosk was selling cool blankets, hoodies, bags, and an assortment of glowing things, like flower crowns (my friend Jen and I couldn’t resist those). In the interests of promoting togetherness and peace, there was a scavanger hunt which encouraged people to talk to strangers and ask them questions (which was really cool, but not too many knew about it–they should have put the slips in the bags with the lanterns). Although it was kind of late for young children, the spirit of the crowd was genuinely friendly and courteous.
Here’s a photo tour of our evening.
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This banner marked the entrance to Ives Concert Park, which is located on WestConn’s Westside Campus.
If you go, be sure to order your tickets online in advance. You’ll save a few dollars, and your check-in will go much more smoothly.
My entrance wrist band (with the design on it), a yellow wristband (I’m over 21 and can drink if I wish), and a gorgeous amethyst and peridot bracelet that my friend Pam, who came to the event, gave me.
The basic ticket includes a cinch sack…I got just plain old blue, but as the night went on, I saw people with aqua and green and all sorts of interesting colors.
The water lantern kit came with each admission. Included was the lantern itself (don’t worry–extremely easy to assemble), a small souvenir marker, and an LED flicker light to set into your lantern.
You can see the crowd across the lake…even though there were hefty online pre-sales, I think they may have gotten killed with walk-ins at the last minute. I’ve never seen the Ives Concert Park so crowded. Photo by Jen Connic.
The wooden base for the lantern. Sticks go into the holes at the four corners, and the LED light goes in the middle.
This is the lantern’s paper sleeve on which you draw or write whatever you like; it opens like a box, and when you’re done, you simply slide it over the four sticks in the corners.
The festival was also about promoting feeling good about yourself as well as others. Signs like this were everywhere.
A few of the food trucks.
We just kept walking around the lake until we ended up here, but we didn’t really reserve enough space. Next year we’re getting there early and spreading out.
Rob, his wife, Jen, and their daughter Charlotte arrive for the festival.
From left, Rob, Emily, Charlotte, and Jen get settled. With everyone flooding in, it was difficult to save space, so we got squished. We learned for next year.
My friend Pam lucked out…she asked for a purple bag and got this pretty rose-colored one!
Me and Nathan grab a selfie.
Jen and I couldn’t resist these rose crowns! Photo by Jen Connic.
I waited in line for wine while Jen went off in search of food. She was going to get fries, but then I got a text from her with THERE ARE LOBSTER TOTS rendered in all caps. So, yeah, that’s what we ate! They were great! Chalk one up for ‘clever things to do with cheap-ass tater tots that will make you look like you spent a million.’ Photo by Jen Connic.
DECORATING OUR LANTERNS
Nathan gets ready to decorate his lantern.
Nathan practiced on scratch paper (actually, he said he was making stencils) before drawing on the real thing.
Nathan’s lantern
Nathan holds up his lantern.
Awww!! My husband put that he loves me forever on his lantern!! I LOVE THIS!! In case you’re wondering, the stuff on the top stands for “Worshipful Master Nathan D. Schoonover 2019,” which is a reference to the Masonic Lodge, where he is worshipful master this year.
Pam made a lantern in honor of her late father.
Sometimes, Jen really hates having her picture taken.
These wooded paths connect the lake. They’re quite beautiful, just don’t go back there after dark without a flashlight. I went back there to find a quiet place to decorate my lantern. I ended up chatting with a bunch of people, which made my friends joke when I had disappeared for a while that I was “writing the great American novel” on my lantern.
Remember my friends joking that I was writing “the great American novel”? Well, they were close–I DID start a short story.
Panel 2 of my lantern.
Don’t ask me what the 9,855 day thing is about, because I have no idea. I had to fill the page up after that, so I decided to write out Frost’s “Stopping by Woods,” since that’s my favorite poem of all time.
Panel 4 of my lantern. I had to finish the poem.
Pam and her lit lantern, which honors her late father.
Jen and her lit lantern.
Michele and her lit lantern. Photo by Jen Connic.
Me and Panel 1 of my lantern, which has the opening of a short story that’s been kicking around in my head since the beginning of April. Photo by Jen Connic.
Jen and the girls. It was a little bit of a balancing act because we were in a tight space, but we made it work.
Charlotte takes a break…let’s face it, she was only interested in the cream in the middle of that Whoopie Pie. But the real reason I included this photo is because it really looks like it was taken in the 1970s.
The girls got glowy things.
My lantern, panel 1, lit.
Emily contemplates her glowing toy while, across the lake, lanterns are being lit. Photo by Jen Connic.
Jen clowns around. Photo by Jen Connic.
My lantern, panel 2, lit.
My lantern, panel 3, lit.
My lantern, panel 4, lit.
Nathan’s lantern, panel 1, lit.
Nathan’s lantern, panel 2, lit.
Nathan’s lantern, panel 3, lit.
Nathan’s lantern, panel 4, lit.
Michele’s lantern, lit.
Michele’s lantern, lit.
The small lights provided in the kits didn’t always work. Here, Nathan works his magic with Jen M’s–and manages to fix it.
As darkness fell, many people set their lanterns around their camping areas to provide light (Ives Concert Park, in some areas, is dark because it’s not lit).
Michele’s lantern lights a corner of our camp area.
My lantern also lights a corner of the camp area.
THE LANTERN LAUNCH
Jen and Emily pose for a photo with the girls’ lanterns.
Charlotte and Emily are ready to put their lanterns on the lake.
My lantern joins so many others…
Lanterns float peacefully on the water. Photo by Jen Connic.
Jen’s photo joins others on the lake’s surface. Photo by Jen Connic.
Nathan’s lantern on the water. Photo by Nathan Schoonover.
Photo by Nathan Schoonover.
If you go…
1 Buy your tickets online in advance—preferably right when they are released, about three to four months ahead of the festival date. They are the least expensive at this time (they go up in price as the event approaches). Also, buying them at the door is a serious hassle and a time-waster—I saw the cluster that was in the line the next to me. Having the pre-printed tickets in your hand makes your check-in efficient.
2 Treat this event like you would any outdoor concert. Depending on your venue, I’d make sure you’d bring the following:
Lawn chairs/blankets to sit on
Trash Bags
Bug Spray
Flashlights
Wet Ones/Wipes
3 You’re only given one small marker in your kit. If you want to go nuts, bring medium-point Sharpies so everyone has a choice of colors. I will say, though, that the colors don’t really matter. Once the things are lit up and on the water, everything looks black anyway.
4 Arrive early, and stake out a spot large enough for your party to have breathing room. We really got crammed in because we didn’t reserve enough space. It was shoulder to shoulder, we could barely balance anything, and drinks and food got spilled everywhere. Again, arrive right as the doors open and spread out.
5 Lots of special things happened during our event. There was an engagement, a graduation celebration and the commemoration of an anniversary. Consider celebrating something magical!
ENJOY THE WATER LANTERN FESTIVAL!
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Photo by Nathan Schoonover.
PS…If you’re in Danbury: Ives Concert Park Tips
I firmly believe the if you’re prepared, small hiccups won’t ruin your good time, so here goes. There were some venue-specific issues with this event (I’ve been to Ives Concert Park in Danbury before, and honestly, these are problems I see over and over again. Every time I go there, it’s like the first time they’ve ever done anything. I don’t get it). If you’re in Danbury and do this next year, then this part of the post is for you.
1 There are nowhere near enough trash cans, so people leave garbage everywhere. Bring trash bags.
2 The pathways to get around the lake are completely in the dark—this particular venue has lovely paths, but they are full of roots and vines and uneven ground, as well as mud (this is Connecticut. It’s a muddy hole). Bring a flashlight, or use a cell phone flashlight.
3 There was only one spot, it seemed (if there were more, I didn’t see them), to launch the lanterns, and it wasn’t very large, nor was it convenient. I hope they will choose other spots along the lake so people aren’t bottle-necking all at one spot. Advice: either try to be near the placement location so that you can set your lantern at the top of the hour, then head back and enjoy watching the rest of the process, OR, wait until the bottom of the hour, so you can sit and enjoy the sight of all the lanterns and then have barely any competition for a spot to set your lantern in the water. However, it was EXCELLENT that they had at least one volunteer at the spot to help those who couldn’t make it to the waterline (it was muddy, on a slope, and slick) put their lanterns in, and also, it was great that she had a pole and could push the lanterns out into the lake.
4 The line at the alcohol tent took forever, and this was because they were, simply, offering too many pours they had to make by hand: mimosas, gin and tonics, whiskey sours. Honestly, at an event like this with only one tent, the only booze that should be served is ready-made, hand-out-quickly type stuff: small wine bottles that don’t need to be poured, beers in cans, and perhaps wine coolers or pre-made mixed drinks. I’d suggest you drink before you leave your house or just skip the drinking unless you want to wait for almost 40 minutes for a glass of wine.
5 Because there is no picnicking allowed, if you’re hungry, you’re forced to deal with the food trucks–and the lines are ridiculous. No, this isn’t because of tons of people. This is because there are too few food trucks to handle the number of people, and these food trucks offer, again, way too much variety with specialized cooking times for such a large event (each truck should offer one or two items at a huge event like this, max, but then again, we’re not in a city like Austin or Miami here, so I guess these trucks don’t know any better). I’d suggest eating dinner before you leave your house so you can simply enjoy your night.
Looking for something different? Try a Water Lantern Festival For hundreds of years, there have been lantern festivals in Thailand. There are two, but the one that features…
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goron-king-darunia · 8 years ago
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Sneak Peak of a Fic.
I’m writing a little fic for @hannikka so here’s a little preview of all my hard work. Hopefully it’s easy enough to understand because Richter is drunk as hell so I wrote him slurring his speech a bit. *~*~*~*~* “The day is finally here, Richter. The very last day. Tomorrow you can go free. Everything’s set up at the news network, so the weatherman position is yours if you want it. The renters have cleared out, so you can stay at my old home in Luin if you want to. I’ve got a lunch all packed for you to take with you tomorrow. And I’ve got everything we need to have a great farewell celebration tonight!” Richter smiled sadly. “You’ve done so much for me, Emil. Thank you. Really and truly. Thank you so much for doing all this for me.” “You’re my friend. My best friend, even! Of course I’d do anything for you!” Emil pat Richter on the shoulders. “So, how do you want to spend your last day? We can do whatever you want! I borrowed all your favorite books from the library, I rented some movies, got you a bottle of rum if you want to get totally wrecked. I’ve got cards, board games, I even rented a console and some video games if you want to play! I’ve got all your favorite snacks lined up. I’ll make whatever you want for dinner. I’ve got cake and tea and sparkling cider, a cozy nook to snuggle up in to do whatever we want. The day is yours.”
“Alright.” Richter nodded, finishing off the breakfast in bed that Emil had graced him with this morning. “Then answer this for me. How early in the day should I get totally wasted so we can play drunken board games?”
“Well, if you start drinking now you can be puking by noon, so… Whatever you want. Pace yourself and you can keep the buzz all day.” Emil teased. “Or, if you’re really that sick of being here, you can chug the whole damn bottle and die of liver failure.” “Don’t tempt me.” Richter teased right back. “Fuck over Ratatosk on the very last day and just ascend to another plane of existence.” “Alright, so what board game do you want to get wasted for this time?” “You remember that card one?”
“Machi Koro?” “No, no, the other one. The one we played with the centurions.” “Oh, you mean Cards Against Humanity?” “Yeah.” “Oh, holy hell, that’s going to be fun drunk.” “My thoughts exactly.” *~*~*~*~* 30 minutes in, and a shot for every loss, Richter was starting to see double and Pontus, that tiny little Polwiggle, was winning. “That little shquirt can’t even hold hish cardsh and he’sh kicking everyone’sh asshesh.” Richter slurred. He was losing badly. Aqua and Tenebrae were tied for third, Emil was a strong second, and Enki and Sedona had a few cards each. “If you ashked one thoushand yearsh ago if I thought I would end up at the door to hell, playing cardsh with monshtersh and Shummon Shpiritsh I would have laughed in your fache.” Richter let out a hoarse belch and Emil suggested he lay off the booze for a while. “It’s a game, Richter, not a suicide attempt. You can be exempt from losing shots for a while. Come to think of it, I think we’ve all had quite enough. Let’s just play normally.” “If you shay sho.” Richter took his last shot for losing the previous round, hiccuping a bit at the way the liquor burned. “Alright, get some food on top of that, Richter. Have a cracker or something. You’ve had, like, way too many for that to be healthy. Get some water in you too.” Richter complied, stuffing his face with a few pretzels and taking a long draught of water. “Whoshe turn ish it?”
“You’re card czar this round, Richter.“ “Right. Right…” Richter drew a black card, squinting at it and reading it aloud. “Daddy, why ish mommy crying?” Richter closed his eyes while he waited for the players to put in their cards. “M’kay. Why ish mommy crying?” Richter laughed at every response.
From Tenebrae - “Being fat and stupid.” From Aqua - “My collection of high-tech sex toys.” From Enki - “Your weird brother” From Sedona - “Wifely duties” From Pontus - “Crumbs all over the god damn carpet.” From Emil - “German dungeon porn.”
“I’m shorry. Theshe are all great, but I have to go with ‘German dungeon porn.’ It jusht shpeaksh to me.” “YES!” Emil cheered, taking the black card from Richter and adding it to his pile. “I knew that’d tickle you!” “To be fair, you had shome fierche competition. I almosht went with ‘Wifely dutiesh.’ ‘Crumbsh all over the dog gam carpet’ wash pretty good, too.” “Pffft! ‘Dog Gam.’ Richter, you’re too drunk.” “Prob’ly.” Richter hiccupped hoarsely, counting his white cards to make sure he hadn’t forgotten to draw last time. “M’kay. Ish your turn, Emil.” “Right.” Emil drew a black card. “War! What is it good for?” Richter was audibly laughing at his own addition when he put his in with the lot. Tenebrae - “Drinking Alone” Aqua - “A tribe of warrior women” Sedona - “Friendly fire” Pontus - “Bees?” Enki - “Cards Against Humanity” Richter - A completely blank card
Emil was confused by a certain submission. “Okay, I think I may need to close my eyes again. Someone forgot to fill in their free card.” Emil closed his eyes for a few moments but heard no shuffling or scribbling. “Is… is that intentional? Is the card supposed to be blank? Knock twice if the card is supposed to be blank.” Emil heard two knocks. “Well, I don’t get it, but okay…”Richter was gritting his teeth when Emil opened his eyes. It was the funniest thing he had ever done in his life, and the boy didn’t get it. “Alright. I guess I have to go with ‘a tribe of warrior women.” “YES! In your face, Tenebutt!” Aqua blew a raspberry at the other centurion, taking the black card and drawing a new white card. “Damn. Washted a perfectly good card.” Richter grumbled, drawing a replacement white card. “What did you put in?” “The blank one.” “I wondered about that. What was it supposed to mean?” “It’sh a shong.” Richter began to quietly sing. “War, huh, yeah. Wha-at ish it good for? Absholutely nothing.” The rest was mostly humming because Richter couldn’t remember the words. “Oh nooooo.” Emil hid his face. “I didn’t get it! I had no idea that was a song! That’s really funny! Can I retroactively give the point to Richter?” “Nooooo!” Aqua whined. “I need this point to beat Tenebrae! Don’t take away my point! I may never catch up to you and Pontus so third place is all I have!” “It’sh alright, Emil. I *hic* I should have picked something better. It’sh fine. Let Aqua have a point. I’m loshing anyway.” “No, you deserve a point! Here!” Emil handed over the black card he had won the previous round. “You deserve a point. Take one of mine.”
“But you’re loshing to a tadpole.” “I don’t mind! Just take it!” “Fine… fine… Thank you.” Richter reluctantly accepted the card. “Pontus is next.” Aqua announced, selecting a card and reading it aloud because Pontus, being a monster, couldn’t speak well. “Why am I sticky?” “Ish thish a general ‘I’ or Pontush shpechifically?” Pontus burbled. Aqua translated for him. “Pontus says whichever. Surprise him.” Richter - “Three dicks at the same time” Emil - “My genitals.” Aqua - “Edible underpants” Tenebrae - “This year’s mass shooting” Enki - “Sniffing glue” Sedona - “A bucket of fish heads”
Pontus burbled a bit before Aqua announced the winner for him. “Edible underpants is too specific, this year’s mass shooting is just fucking wrong, and three dicks at once is trying too hard, so the winner is ‘My genitals.’” “HAHA! Just two more and I’ll be in first place! Thanks Pontus.” Emil took the black card. “Pontus says ‘Fuck.’” Aqua laughed. “My turn. ‘What ended my last relationship?’” “Do you want us to speak from experience?” Tenebrae asked snidely. “Shut up!” Aqua snapped back. “If I had ‘German dungeon porn’ again, this would be a good place for it.” Emil laughed. “Literally every round hash been a good plache for ‘German dungeon porn.’” Richter laughed. Everyone handed in their cards. Sedona - “Copping a feel” Enki - “A really cool hat” Pontus - “Police brutality” Tenebrae - “Rape flavoring.” A custom card from someone who previously owned the game. Richter - “A sausage festival.” Emil - “My inner demons.” “Ooh, these are pretty great! ‘Rape flavoring’ hits a little close to home here, so I think I’m going to have to go with ‘a sausage festival!’” “Finally!” Richter cheered. “I’m beating Shedona at lasht!”
“Yay! I’m really glad I picked yours! That was great!” “You just picked it because it was an innuendo.” Tenebrae scoffed.
“Maybe, but it was still pretty funny! Even Emil laughed!” “It was pretty great, Richter. You earned it.” “Thanksh.” “No revenge for you yet, Sedona. It’s your turn.” “Mhm.” Sedona, being one of the more humanoid monsters, could speak fairly well, though it did sound like she was talking under water. “What are my parents hiding from me?” Richter - “Racism” Emil - “An oversized lollipop” Pontus - “Sexual tension” Tenebrae - “The gays” Aqua - “Cybernetic enhancements” Enki - “An M. Night Shyamalan plot twist” “Sexual tension is great, and an oversized lollipop is adorably innocent, but I have to go with ‘the gays.’ I imagine that happens a lot.” “Haha!” Tenebrae laughed triumphantly as he snatched the black card with the hand on his tail. “Another point for me. The stalemate resumes.” “NOOOOO!” Aqua threw her hand down, scattering her cards. “It’s not fair! I had terrible cards!” “Boo hoo. That’s part of the game. You’re allowed to spend some of your points to exchange them, you know.” “But I don’t want to spend my points! I don’t have any points to spare!” “Stop being a sore loser.” “Stuff it, you grumpy old man. You cheated to even get this far, you’re not nearly as funny as Master Richter!” “My points say otherwise.” Tenebrae showed off the black cards he’d won. “Not my fault the half-elf can’t hold his liquor.” “Technically, thish game ish very unfair to me becaushe I am the only one here that can eashily get drunk. You guysh are immortal shpiritsh and the monshtersh don’t drink…” “He’s got a point.” Emil giggled. “I can get tipsy but I didn’t lose nearly enough to take quite as many shots as you, Richter.” “Shpeaking of, got any more shnacksh?” Richter held up an empty bowl. “Gonna need more shtuff to shoak up all thish liquor.” “Coming right up.” Emil went to grab a bag of potato chips. “Try to share with the group, though. I want to have more than one chip before you eat the lot.” “Sure, sure…” Richter nodded.
“Now, onto my turn. I have quite the refined sense of humor so use your best cards please.” Tenebrae chortled. “Says the centurion who couldn’t even get any of his servants to join.” “Excuse me, unlike your lazy minions, my monsters are out doing their jobs and balancing the flow of mana.” “My precious monsters are just so good at their jobs that they can afford to take some time off instead of spending every waking moment working and trying to avoid me.” “I’m not picking your card.” “You won’t be able to tell which is mine, dope.” “We’ll see.” Tenebrae drew a card. “ _____. That’s how I want to die.” Richter - (with the intent of gambling a point, Richter put in two cards. Losing would mean losing a point, but winning would mean keeping the point and earning a new one and he only needed one more to pass Enki.) “Spontaneous human combustion” and “not wearing pants” Aqua - “Flesh eating bacteria”(definitely intended as a passive aggressive wish toward Tenebrae.) Pontus - “A Bop It™” Emil - “Poor life choices” Enki - “Expecting a burp and vomiting on the floor.” Sedona - “Laying an egg” “Somebody’s taking a risk this round. Are you that intent on beating me, Aqua?” “Not my bet. But I will laugh my tail off if you pick my card after all that blather.” “Fine.” Tenebrae harrumphed. “Poor life choices is definitely entertaining, but nothing quite does it for me like spontaneous human combustion.” “YESH! The bet paid off!” Richter took the card he’d won. “For Martel’s sake, Richter!” Emil gasped. “That was morbid!” “Couldn’t help it. If I can’t laugh about pasht experienchesh, what good is my life?” “You’re terrible. What was your other card? If you say flesh eating bacteria, I will punch you.” “Nah, nah, my other card wash ‘not wearing pantsh.’” “Oh thank god. You’ve got a decent sense of humor then. I would have picked that one.” “Thanksh.” “Alright. Last card of the last round.” Tenebrae announced. “You and I can break this little tie or Emil could tie it up with Pontus.” “I just hope anybody but you gets the point Teneboob.” “Same to you, wet blanket.” Tenebrae read the card for Enki. “What’s the most emo?” Emil - “A mopey zoo lion” and “flightless birds” Tenebrae - “Half-elves who aren’t good at math.” Pontus - “Alcoholism” and “Kids with ass cancer.” Aqua - “The Great Depression” Sedona - “Poorly-timed Blood Purge jokes” Richter - “A sad fat dragon with no friends.”
“Going all out, I see. Some of you really came to win.” Enki took a few moments of consideration before finally selecting “Half-elves who aren’t good at math.” “Haha! I have won!” Tenebrae cheered. “No! Enki! How could you betray me like this?!” Aqua sobbed. “Don’t blame Enki. It’s just that I’m obviously funnier!” “You got lucky! My cards were junk.” “Don’t blame your cards. You just couldn’t use them effectively.” “I hope I never have to play this with you again.” Aqua took a shot, scowling at the other centurion. “Do you even get tipshy?” Richter asked. “A little. We can get buzzed but we usually don’t. We absorb mana naturally so it’s kind of pointless for us to eat or drink. We can do it for pleasure, but there’s no real desire or urge for it. Unless you’re like me and want anything to smother the rage you feel.” “I shee.” Richter smirked. “What’sh the final shcore?” “Pontus beat me with 12. I could have tied if I hadn’t gambled, but instead I’m stuck in second with 11. Tenebrae managed third place with 9, Aqua has fourth with 6 points. You managed fifth place with 5 points. Enki has 4 and Sedona got 3.” “I shtill can’t believe you losht to a tadpole.” Richter chuckled. “I can’t believe Pontus lost his streak! He was doing so well!” Pontus burbled for a moment and Aqua translated. “He thinks you guys probably just got used to his type of humor and started picking more surprising options. Plus, he said his last few cards were pretty bad.” “Well, you cant win them all.” Richter hiccuped. “I’m jusht happy I managed to get myself out of a loshing shtreak. Maybe I’m funnier drunk?” “You were pretty damn funny sober!” Emil laughed. “At least, to me you were.”
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