#M!A: When Tods Attack

[reidingandwriting]

coming out > shouta aizawa (mha)

Word Count: 2.1k

Pairing: Aizawa & Daughter!Reader, Reader x Momo (not official,,, yet), mentions of EraserMic

Warnings: Like one or two curse words, anxiety about coming out, probably a little OOC characters but oh wellll. Mostly fluff, I love writing Dadzawa

A/N: This was a request from @wi-2006 I hope you enjoy it!

you fell to the ground with a pained thud, and you scowled as you stared up at the sky. “damn it,” you huffed as you sat up, and you rested on your knees.

“i’m so sorry! are you okay?” izuku held out a hand to you and you allowed him to pull you up before you dusted off the knees of your costume.

“‘m fine,” you brushed back a few strands of hair that had escaped from your ponytail before you got back into position. “i’m ready now.”

“need to focus, kid,” your dad’s voice called from a few yards away where he was helping hitoshi with his capture weapon. to anyone else, he appeared bored, bored of correcting your mistakes and calling out your lack of attention, but you recognized the concern in his voice. you knew he’d be talking to you later and you briefly considered faking sick to avoid the inevitable conversation. “try again, then take a break.”

you nodded as you turned towards izuku again, eyes narrowing as you focused. you had been sparring for what felt like hours at this point, and you wanted to perfect this new takedown. your close combat skills were usually your strength, but you couldn’t focus today.

izuku nodded briefly at you before he was off, and you quickly countered his first attack. the two of you continued to spar, each getting a fair amount of blows in before you finally saw the opening you needed. you jumped into action and when izuku was finally pinned, you leaned back against the ground and let out an ‘oof’ as your back hit the grass, your eyes screwed shut from the sun. you enjoyed the feeling of the sun for a minute, and a moment later, you heard shifting beside you. you squinted your eyes open and reached over, shoving at izuku’s arm as he sat beside you.

“you did good today,” you said and izuku smiled at you.

“thank you! you did, too.” a brief pause. “i asked mr. aizawa if we could go off campus and grab dinner for everyone, i think it’s shoto’s night to cook.” you shuddered at the thought and nodded.

“good idea.” you sat up. “let me get my gym bag and say bye and we can go.” izuku nodded and you stood up, and you walked over to grab your things. hitoshi was finishing his cooldown stretches, your dad watching from a few feet away. you walked up to him and butted your head against the back of his arm. you smiled as your dad’s arm wrapped around your shoulders and his hand ruffled your hair.

“good takedown,” your dad commented before he looked at you. “still coming home tonight?” you nodded, gnawing at your lip. you switched between your dorm with your class and your room in the teacher’s dorms; you loved your classmates but sometimes you needed a break from them. and your dad’s was the best place to get that break. you missed your old house, but you still have the cats and hizashi and your aunt nemuri are close, so it was still pretty nice.

“gonna do dinner, watch a movie, then head over,” you let your eyes flutter closed for a moment, enjoying the rare moment of peace with your dad. he briefly rested his head against your own before he patted your shoulder.

“should shower first, too. don’t need you stinking up the house,” a subtle smirk made its way to his face and you glared up at him.

“just for that, i’m not going to.” you stuck your tongue out at him, narrowly ducking from the stray edge of capture weapon that shot out at you. “rude!”

you exchanged goodbyes with your dad, called out a goodbye to shinsou, then jogged over to izuku. you and izuku walked off campus and you talked about classes, upcoming exams. you were texting the class groupchat about dinner orders when he asked a question that made you pause.

“you seemed really distracted today. is everything okay?” you and izuku were close, you and him quickly becoming friends, and you had the same friend group.

“i’m a little worried about my weekend with my dad,” you admitted after a minute, and izuku stayed quiet, having learned when to let you rant. “he knows something is bothering me and i’m worried about him asking me. i can’t lie to him, he’s my dad. but i’m also terrified of how he’ll react.” izuku stayed quiet for another moment, and you sighed. “i’m thinking about telling him.”

you could practically hear the gears turning in izuku’s head until it clicked. your crush on momo wasn’t glaringly obvious, but you had let it slip to some of your friends (izuku, hitoshi, and ochako). your entire friend group knew you were bisexual, hell you’re pretty sure your entire class did, but your dad didn’t know. and you didn’t know what was worse- telling him about it or him realizing you’ve been hiding it from him for so long. and you were scared. scared of how he’d react, scared if things would change.

“do you want to tell him?”

“yes. no. i don’t know? he can tell something is up and today just confirmed it. it never should’ve taken me that long to knock you on your ass. he’s gonna ask what’s bothering me and i just… i can’t lie to him if he asks me.” your phone vibrated and a quick glance left you smiling once you saw the text. “he’s bound to find out soon, and it would only be worse if he found out from someone else.”

izuku nodded, a sympathetic smile on his lips. “it’ll be scary, but i know you can do it. if you want any of us there with you, we’d all be happy to.”

“thanks, zuku. this is something i need to do myself, though. but if it goes bad, i may hide in your room after.” izuku wraps an arm around you and pulls you into his side, and you wrap your arm around him. “thank you.” no other words were said as you walked into the restaurant and the nervous pit in your stomach started to fade away a little.

-

dinner came and went, and now your class had spread out across the common room to watch some pre-quirk era movie about this hero that resembled a spider.

“sero! do you think you could-“ denki started and without looking away from the screen, you spoke.

“don’t even think about it,” you said and denki’s friends started laughing.

“okay, sensei,” denki huffed and you instinctively shot a glare at the blonde. denki yelped and hid behind hitoshi, who wrapped an arm around him.

“dude, she’s not actually aizawa, you don’t have to hide from her.” you rolled your eyes, an amused smirk on your lips.

“she looks just like him! look at that,” denki whined. living with aizawa, naturally you adopted his facial expressions and even his ‘teacher voice’ at times. denki would forever be haunted by the resemblance you had to your father when he had accidentally woken you up, your eyes might as well have been glowing with the glare you had given him.

“well he is my father,” you drawled and momo giggled from beside you, and you willed yourself to keep your expression calm.

the rest of the movie played out and you had started to fall asleep on the couch. you froze as you felt a blanket drape over you and someone lean down.

“goodnight,” momo whispered, her lips brushing against your cheek before she excused herself to bed. a minute later, you peeked an eye open and were grateful to see you were the last one in the common area. what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck-

“coming to bed?” your dad’s voice startled you and you jumped off the couch. he raised an eyebrow at you and you nodded.

“sorry, yeah. just started falling asleep,” your dad’s gaze was disbelieving but he dropped it for now.

“have everything you need?” you felt for the phone in your pocket and nodded, and you tucked yourself into your dad’s side as you yawned. “let’s go.”

you woke up the next morning to the smell of coffee and the faint hum of the television. you stretched and yawned as you sat up before you stood and walked to the living room. you were greeted by the sight of your dad, coffee mug in one hand and pen in the other as he graded papers.

“morning,” you greeted as you walked to the coffee maker and you poured yourself a mug. you took a seat beside your dad a minute later, and you looked down at the papers as you leaned against him. “how’d i do?”

“good as usual,” your dad turned to kiss your temple, and you smiled. a comfortable silence filled the room as you watched your dad grade, occasionally looking up at the TV screen. it was quiet, it was peaceful. and then your dad spoke again.

“i’ve noticed you’ve been a little in your head lately. distracted easily, not as focused as usual.” a brief pause. “is everything okay?” you swore your heart stopped and you set your mug down with a shaky breath. your dad set his pen down and turned to face you, his focus fully on you. “kid?”

“i’ve wanted to tell you, i-i was just worried you’d get mad.” you whispered and he frowned.

“well, you’re sitting here now so you haven’t been arrested.” the blunt statement shocked you and you couldn’t help but smile a bit. “i’m your teacher, so i’d know if you were expelled, suspended, or failing anything. none of your classmates ever come to me with any complaints about how you treat them. i don’t see what you could’ve done that would make me upset with you.”

“it’s nothing i did. it’s just… i don’t know how to explain it. just something i… discovered?” you could practically hear the gears in his head turning.

“is it about school?” you shook your head.

“do you remember the crush i had on hitoshi?” you decided to finally get to it and your stomach twisted and turned. he didn’t have his capture weapon on, you could realistically make it out the door before he could get it. you wouldn’t make it far, but you could make it to nemuri’s or hizashi’s. no, you needed to tell him. you could run away after.

your dad nodded. “didn’t that end a while ago? when he started liking someone else?” you nodded.

“i had never had a crush on anyone before hitoshi and when he told me he liked someone else, i was upset. i had my friends to help me through it, and i got close with one of them. i think i really like them, but…”

your dad stayed quiet, waiting to see if you’d continue talking or if he could talk. you took a deep breath before you looked your dad in the eyes. “i like momo.” you whispered. “i, i never liked another girl before and i didn’t know i could. then denki talked to me about it and said i could be bisexual? and i am. bi.”

the silence was deafening and you felt your hands start to shake. you wanted your dad to say something, anything, but you were scared of what he would say.

“have you asked her out yet?”

“i’m sorry, i’ll go back to the- wait, what?”

“why are you apologizing?” your dad asked and suddenly, his expression softening. “did you think i would react badly?” your vision immediately became blurry and your eyes began to burn. seconds later, you were pulled into your dad’s chest and you latched onto him. you sobbed against him, tears soaking through his shirt as he rubbed your back. “you’re happy, you’re healthy, you’re not hurting anyone. that’s all i could ever ask for,” another sob left you at his words and you shifted to look up at him.

one hand combed through your hair and the other cupped your cheek, thumbs wiping away stray tears. “i-i don’t know why, but i thought you’d be mad at me,” you whimpered and your dad shook his head.

“never. you can’t control who you love, it would be illogical to get mad over something you had no control over.” your dad leaned back against the couch, and you curled into his side. “besides, would be extremely irrational of me to get upset over you being bi since i’ve been dating hizashi for the last two months.” it took you a minute to process his words and you sat up.

“what?! you and hizashi?” your dad nodded, amused smile on his face and you stood up. “come on, get up. i need to go talk to him if you thought you two could date without telling me!” laughter filled the dorm and as you walked down the hall a minute later with your dad trailing behind, you couldn’t be happier. maybe now you could finally ask momo on a date.

[silverynight]

Welcome home

<---Previous

Chapter 5

They decide to go to a cafe; the place is nice and cozy, and Izuku will have the opportunity to ask questions to every single one in order to get all the details about the mission; he wants to know how they used their quirks and why they decided to use them that way.

The tables have bench cushions around; Katsuki and Izuku sit on one and Uraraka, Hagakure and Todoroki on the one in front.

Even though he tells himself to calm down, Izuku can't help it and starts asking about the rescue. He listens with a fascinated smile on his face as Hagakure explains how she used her quirk to blind the villain when he tried to attack them.

Then he starts rambling about her quirk for a while, all the data he has gathered about her during the time they have met each other, she seems interested or at least he hopes so. He's too focused he doesn't even realize Uraraka is looking at something with amusement until she makes a gesture with her hand towards it.

Izuku turns around, only to find Katsuki with a hand on his chin, quietly staring at him with a fond smile on his face.

"What?"

Katsuki looks a little bit flustered when he notices Izuku's confusion, but he doesn't say anything.

"Midoriya, do you want something to eat?"

"Right!" He says, embarrassed. He looks back at Todoroki as his cheeks turn slightly pink. "Sorry for rambling! You must be hungry!"

"It's alright, I don't mind," the pro hero with mismatched hair assures him. "Actually, everything you say is fascinating. I feel like I'm learning a lot about quirks after listening to you."

Izuku can feel the moment his face turns even more red; Katsuki hisses next to him. When he looks at him again, he realizes he's get irritated. He must be starving too.

"What do you want to eat? I'll get it for you."

"Uhh..." Before Izuku can answer Todoroki's question, Katsuki is already getting up while glaring at the other pro hero.

"Don't bother. I always get Izuku's food."

"Well, I want a strawberry churro and Uraraka wants a croissant. Thanks for asking! Yes, we both are here too, in case you have forgotten!" Hagakure cuts in, half irritated half amused at the situation.

"Sorry! I'll go get them for you!" Izuku says.

"Not you, darling! Sit down!"

However, no matter how much Uraraka insists, Izuku ends up in the line with Katsuki and Todoroki.

"Midoriya."

Katsuki growls as a warning, but Todoroki ignores him completely.

"I'd like you to consider working at Endeavor's agency instead."

That definitely wasn't something Izuku expected to come out of Todoroki's mouth.

"I was really impressed by your performance these last two days; you're really smart and I think you'd be a great asset for our agency."

"Oh, fuck off!"

"Kacchan, please," Izuku has to grab the blond pro hero's arm in order to calm him down a bit. Then, when his friend looks less murderous, he turns towards Todoroki again: "I appreciate the offer, but I'm really happy where I am."

"Take that, half and half!"

Rolling his eyes, Izuku is glad they're next in the line. It's a nice distraction. Perhaps food is what everyone needs to feel less irritated.

"What happened?" Uraraka asks, grabbing her croissant and the coffee Izuku decided to buy for her. "I was watching you from here and Bakugo got more grumpy than usual."

"Half and half here wants to steal Izuku from m–us!"

"What do you mean?" Hagakure asks, sounding curious already. By the time Todoroki explains, even the women get slightly annoyed.

"No!" Uraraka huffs, grabbing one of Izuku's hands in hers. "Get your own green bean! This one is ours!"

They keep playfully scolding him for it and even he starts smiling at them. However, Katsuki moves closer to Izuku until their legs are pressing together even though there's plenty of space on his side.

After a while, the four pro heroes start talking about their time in the UA; Izuku can't help but laugh at all the things they tell him about Katsuki.

"They had to put a muzzle on him because he was so angry at Todoroki for not trying harder at the sports festival!" Hagakure chuckles, while Katsuki narrows his eyes at her.

"He even won, but didn't look happy with the results!" Uraraka adds, laughing along with Hagakure.

"He probably thought he didn't deserve it," Izuku cuts in. "That's why he was so mad."

He looks up at the blond pro hero before stroking his cheek; Katsuki closes his eyes and leans into the touch, content.

"It's alright, Kacchan. You did your best!"

"I didn't," Todoroki says then, getting Izuku's attention again. "But that's because I didn't truly accept myself back then."

"But now you do, right?" Izuku asks, smiling kindly at him.

"Now I do."

***

As they sit back in Katsuki's car, Izuku realizes that he's still frowning. Probably because Todoroki asked Izuku to think about his offer.

"I'm not going to work at Endeavor's," Izuku assures him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

He relaxes somewhat before looking back at the green haired man with an intense expression on his face; Katsuki does that a lot lately and he has no idea what he's thinking about.

"Stay with me tonight."

"Okay, Kacchan," he says, smiling at him softly. The truth is that he still wants to spend a little bit more time with his friend after what happened.

But staying is a mistake because Izuku likes Katsuki's apartment; it feels like home even though it shouldn't.

The next days he barely stays at his own place and every time he goes back to it, it feels colder and less like the cozy apartment he once acquired.

Katsuki basically gives him one of the guest's rooms; he has a closet for himself in which he keeps a few clothes because he also stays during work days and it's more "convenient" that way.

Somedays, Izuku feels like he's fooling himself.

There's green tea now in Katsuki's kitchen, chocolate, and blueberries on the fridge that Izuku makes disappear quickly.

"You seriously don't want the last bit of honey?" Izuku asks, looking tempted to pour it all over his bread, but he wants to offer it to Katsuki first. He doesn't think he has ever seen him touch the bottle, but he's not there ALL the time.

"I don't like sweet food," Katsuki says from the couch, browsing through Netflix's catalog, looking for a good horror movie.

"But you do like honey!" Izuku argues. "I mean, you bought this..."

That bottle was there before Izuku started staying in that apartment a few times a week.

"I bought it for you," the pro hero says casually, already selecting a movie. The thumbnail looks like it'll give Izuku nightmares.

He looks back at the now empty bottle, feeling warm inside out of the sudden. He smiles, thinking about all the things Katsuki does for him...

"Well, I'll go back to my room now!"

"None of that, nerd!" Katsuki turns around, looking at him over the back of the couch. "You promised!"

"Fine!" Izuku pouts, getting ready to close his eyes. "But if you complain about me clinging to you, I'll leave, okay?"

Being as close as possible to Katsuki is the only thing that makes him feel safe when they watch those kind of movies.

Katsuki snorts.

"Have I ever complained about that?"

"No, but just in case," Izuku mumbles before sitting right next to him, even though there's a lot of space on the couch. "I don't know why you want me here, to be honest. All I do is cover my eyes, gasp and wrap myself around you every time. Sometimes, I even end up on your lap! That can't be pleasant for you!"

Katsuki's smirk makes his eyes glimmer with amusement.

"That is actually very pleasant for me. You have no idea."

It must be because he enjoys Izuku's suffering... his friend is still a jerk sometimes. But he buys a lot of sweets for him and lets Izuku cuddle him so he'll forgive him for that eventually.

To no one's surprise, Izuku ends up covering his eyes and Katsuki's space.

The pro hero looks like he's having the time of his life, but he's kind enough to put a hand over Izuku's shoulders and nuzzle against his green curls to calm him down.

He falls asleep like that but wakes up on his bed in the morning.

***

"Trying a new style?" One of his coworkers asks as a form of greeting. "Well, you look good with everything, Midoriya!"

"Isn't that too big for you though?" Another one says, frowning a bit.

Some days, he wishes he didn't blush that easily; it makes him look like he's hiding something.

"Kacchan gave it to me," he mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. It's not his fault that Katsuki's clothes are very comfortable; it's true that wearing black is not Izuku's style, but he likes the fact that the hoodie feels like it's hugging him.

He's not sure if that's completely true, though, because most of the time is just Izuku "stealing" things from him that the pro hero ends up giving him.

"I see," the man in front of him grins in a way Izuku doesn't like. There's nothing to "see" there.

He runs back to his station then.

An hour later, he decides to pay a visit to Hatsume. He wants to ask about Kaminari's gear; something happened during his latest mission and it ended up damaged, but Izuku doesn't understand what prompted it to act the way it did. And he needs to understand in order to write a report about it.

But he's also very curious.

Right outside Hatsume's department, Izuku remembers why other people are not allowed there unless they let them know they're coming beforehand.

Izuku forgot to do that.

"Not again!" He manages to hear someone complaining before Hatsume laughs.

"It's alright! We always learn from our mistakes," she says right before something inside explodes and sends Izuku backwards.

There's smoke everywhere; his ears start ringing a bit, but he realizes he's alright, although his back hurts.

"Are you okay, Midoriya?" Hatsume asks, leaning over him. "You shouldn't be here."

He gets that now. At least the people from support are completely fine, mostly because they wear special clothes all the time. In case something like that happens.

"Are you sure you're fine?"

"Yes, don't worry!"

"Alright, then let me turn off the alarm in your device before he comes running here..."

Honestly, Izuku had forgotten his pretty necklace was a security device. But now as he looks down he sees a red dot in the middle of the X.

"IZUKU!"

"Too late," Hatsume mumbles, right before turning it off. She moves away from Izuku to give room for Dynamight to fret over him.

"I'm fine, Kacchan, I promise," he assures him as he manages to sit.

Katsuki kneels on the floor next to him and Izuku notices his hero suit; it looks clean and impeccable, which means he was about to go out.

His red eyes start scanning his body from head to toe, desperately looking for wounds.

"Where does it hurt?" He asks, touching Izuku's back of the head with his fingertips. When the green haired man flinches, the pro hero's eyes lose their shine. "I'll take you to the infirmary."

"Kacchan, wait!"

Katsuki growls. He's obviously still in distress, and Izuku can't have that. Pretending no one is watching, he cradles his friend's face and rubs their noses together.

The fear he notices in his eyes shocks Izuku for a moment.

"I'm fine, Kacchan," he whispers, smiling softly at him. "I promise."

He watches as the blond's broad shoulders lose some of their tension. His arms wrap around Izuku's completely before he presses his lips against one of his freckled cheeks gently. After he takes a deep breath, he does the same against the other.

Izuku's heart skips a beat.

"Alright! Let's go back to work, everybody!" Hatsume says, clapping her hands together to get her workers' attention. "There's nothing to see here!"

As the smoke clears, Izuku turns as red as a strawberry.

Katsuki doesn't seem to care about having an audience or not.

"When I heard the alarm, I panicked," he admits, pointing at a bracelet on his right wrist. Izuku had thought all this time it was a simple accessory.

"I'm fine," he repeats, mostly because his own heartbeat doesn't let him think that much.

Katsuki leans to give him a kiss on the forehead, making even more difficult for Izuku to actually focus.

"Let me take you to the infirmary anyway. Please, it'll help me feel better."

"Okay, Kacchan."

As the doctor explains to them both that Izuku doesn't have a concussion and the incident only got him a few bruises, he realizes, as he remembers Katsuki's soft kisses on his face that me might have feelings for his best friend.

And that could be a problem.

***

Perhaps the best thing is to stop staying with Katsuki; Izuku's feelings will only grow if he keeps spending that much time with his friend.

It's a good thing he never moved in with him like Katsuki wanted. He'd be kicked out immediately if the pro hero found out about Izuku's crush on him.

Except that it doesn't feel like a simple crush.

As they both walk down the stairs, Izuku takes a deep breath and thinks about an excuse to stay at his own apartment this time.

"Here, take this, nerd," Katsuki stops for a moment to give him a key. "This is just in case you need it, but you know you only have to type the code to get in."

A copy of Katsuki's apartment door key. And he's going to give him the code too.

"It's 0715," the pro hero says in a whisper. His face turns so red Izuku worries about him for a moment. "So when... I'm on late night patrol you can get in without me and stay there."

"Oh, that'll be easy to remember!" He says, chuckling. His friend probably hasn't even realized what those numbers mean. "It's like my birthday! What a coincidence!"

Katsuki chokes on air, blush spreading down his neck. Maybe he's getting sick or something...

"I know you are really smart, but sometimes you make me question your intelligence."

"Kacchan, that's so mean!" Izuku tries to look offended, but he fails miserably. Besides, his mind is preoccupied with something else.

When they're inside Katsuki's car. Izuku takes a deep breath.

"Take me to my apartment, please."

"Why? Did you forget something?"

"No... it's just," he bites his bottom lip before continuing: "I mean... I live there after all, I should stay in my own apartment."

"Or you can finally move in with me."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

Katsuki turns his head towards him; good thing he hasn't started the car yet.

"Why not? Does something in my apartment bother you? We can redecorate it if you want. I just bought you a display cabinet to put your ridiculous All Might figure collection. It was a surprise, by the way. So pretend to be surprised when it finally arrives."

Katsuki is making it really difficult for Izuku not to fall in love with him.

"Uhh... it's..." Izuku blinks as his eyes start getting wet.

"What is it, Izuku? Talk to me. You know you can tell me anything," he says; he's never heard him speak that softly to him. His thumbs wipe his tears off before he presses his forehead against the sweet nerd's.

Katsuki deserves to know so he can decide for himself if he wants to keep some distance between them from now on.

It'll break Izuku's heart, but he can handle it.

"Listen, Kacchan, don't freak out, but I think I have f-feelings for you. So it'll be better if we–"

"Wow," Katsuki chuckles, shaking his head in disbelief. "You really are an idiot, Izuku."

"This is not funny, Kacchan! I'm trying to tell you something important!"

"So am I!" He smiles, red eyes glimmering with unrestrained happiness. He cradles Izuku's confused face, before giving him a quick kiss on the lips. "Izuku. I am in love with you."

"What?" He blinks, getting slightly dizzy as Katsuki keeps pressing their lips together. Kisses pressed against his face as he turns so pink his freckles disappear momentarily.

"I have never been subtle about my devotion to you," Katsuki smirks, enjoying the fact that Izuku gets so flustered after being kissed to speak properly. "That's why everyone in the agency thinks we're dating. Yes, I know about those rumors too, the only difference is that I have never shut them down."

"But why you never told me anything?"

Katsuki's smile vanishes for a moment and Izuku wants to take the question back immediately.

"I thought you didn't love me the way I did."

This time it's Izuku the one who initiates their kiss, although Katsuki is the one in control. He smiles against his lips before taking his time to explore Izuku's mouth.

"Move in with me, Izuku."

"I'd love to, Kacchan."

***

A lot of things have changed in a month; Izuku finally left his old apartment and is now living with Katsuki.

And sleeping on his bed too.

Waving a hand in front of his face to stop himself from blushing, Izuku focuses on the task at hand.

He has practiced that curry recipe a lot, torturing his friends in the process, although Todoroki claims that the first time was perfect.

Uraraka couldn't even finish it, Kirishima gave him a thumbs up, but didn't look like he was enjoying it.

However, the last one was a success, which means he's ready to make it for his boyfriend.

He wants to surprise Katsuki this time; he's the one who cooks for them and he knows he does it gladly, but Izuku wants to show him he can make an effort too.

A loud sigh escapes from his lips when he finishes just in time for the door to open.

"I'm home, Izuku!"

He rushes towards the entrance because that's one of his favorite parts of living with Katsuki, that he gets to greet him in his own home.

In their own home, and wants to do that for the rest of their lives.

The realization hits him by surprise, and both Izuku and Katsuki just stand there, frozen, staring into each other's eyes like they know exactly what they're both thinking.

"You look cute with that apron," Katsuki breathes deeply, as if he had forgotten how to and pulls Izuku into a tight hug. "Is it too soon to ask you to marry me?"

"It's us," he whispers back, trying not to cry. "We have never been a conventional couple to begin with. It's fine."

"Is that a yes?"

"It is."

After a long kiss, Izuku pushes his boyfriend away a bit, chuckling when Katsuki chases his lips desperately and pouts when he keeps turning his head away.

"Come on, nerd! Just one more!"

"Wait, I need to tell you something first."

"What is it?"

"Welcome home, Kacchan!"

Katsuki rolls his eyes, but the glimmer in them and the wide smile on his lips tell Izuku that he's just as happy to hear that as Izuku is to say it.

***

Thank you so much for reading this story!

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[dr-passionate-production]

“I missed my baby sister!!” Ibby swooped down and picked up Isa. “Hi my sweet little strawberry bun!” She nuzzled her face into Isa’s budding head of hair like she did when they were kids. Scotty, not terribly well acquainted with kids, galloped past the group of kids and sat next to the only adult in the room.

Isabella smiled excitedly at the sight of her older sister. Giggling as she nuzzled into her hair, the little girl reached up to grab at anything she could purchase onto, whether it be her hair, her face or her hand.

@ultimate-cat-mom

When Tods Attack: (1/5)

[vitani-blackwell]

These Violent Deeds || Fated Ball

Vitani Blackwell was who she was until the end…[takes place: September 29, 2021]

tw – death, gore, blood, injuries

EILONWY

 Eilonwy had been on edge all evening. Despite her best efforts, so many of the people she cared about were still here at the party, and there was no way for her to keep an eye on all of them. She did her best to fake a smile and a laugh whenever necessary, but the waiting only ratcheted the tension higher and higher. She knew something was going to happen. It would be soon. 

 But when people started to collapse around her, she froze. She watched as person after person crumbled to the ground, in the wrong position to get to any of them. But worse? She watched the Blackwells begin to move. And they were fast. 

 But so was she. 

 Twirling her right wrist, the bracelet transformed into the shimmering Elven blade, barely paying attention to the woman who took one look at her and began to scream as she ran away. Letting out a guttural scream, she rushed forward, trying desperately to get in between Vitani and the collapsed Errol on the ground before anything worse could happen to him.

 VITANI

 Vitani made a show of playing scared before laughing at the silly girl.

 “Ooooh, like I’ve never seen a sword before!” She cackled, deftly dodging out of the way and grabbing the blonde by the wrist. She had half a mind to snap it in two but now wasn’t the time to let her little power trip get the best of her.

 Mother gave them one mission and it was to be completed tonight. Tomorrow, Vitani could kill anybody who dared challenge her. Tonight, she was a loyal foot soldier.

 Vitani threw the blonde aside like a ragdoll, sending her skidding across the ballroom tile.

 EILONWY

 Eilonwy was pulling back for her first swing when the woman darted forward and tossed her aside. She could feel something in her arm twinge as she slammed into the ground, but she ignored the pain as she had so often before. There were more important things to consider. 

 She was back on her feet in a moment, coming up behind and slashing the woman’s arm right as she turned away from Errol towards whoever her next victim would be.

 Later, she would apologize to Errol for still not being fast enough. For now, she didn’t devote the brain power to it. 

 As the vampire turned to face her again, Eilonwy grinned. “You’ve never seen my sword.” She lunged forward again, striking towards her heart. 

 VITANI:

 Vitani rolled her eyes and would’ve sighed had her lungs held breath. What a cheesy line. Did blondie think she was in some epic drama? This was real life sweaty! Puny humans weren’t heroes, they were pillbugs.

 Vitani dodged her blade again, though she only managed to keep her dead heart from being stabbed. The Elven blade sliced her arm and she was loath to admit it, but that? That did hurt.

 “We will not be thwarted by the likes of you!” Vitani spat, roundhouse kicking the girl square in the gut.

 EILONWY

 Eilonwy stumbled backwards, gasping for air but managing to keep her feet through sheer force of will. 

 “Hundreds of years to plan, and you’re going to fail anyway. How does that feel?” Because Eilonwy had no doubt they would succeed. Too many people were counting on them, so it was impossible for them to fail. 

 With her left hand, she grabbed hold of the flickering candlelight, brightening it and flinging the light up in Vitani’s face in an attempt to blind her as she rushed forward to send her sword biting into Vitani’s side. 

 VITANI

 She was resourceful, Vitani would give her that.

 But she was under the impression that vampires were just like humans. Slow, stupid, easily fooled. Vitani was able to see before more than a beat passed, sure, but she wasn’t quick enough to avoid the full force of the blade.

 “Not sure, because we’re not going to. Look around, princess. We’re winning.” Vitani growled.

 As much as she loved a good homoerotic battle, she was getting bored of this girl.

 “Go back to the playground you crawled out of!” Vitani said, grabbing her arm and throwing her down onto the ground on top of her other arm. Hard.

 A pleasant snap reached the vampire’s ears and she hid a giggle behind one hand. “Ta-ta, little girl.”

 EILONWY

 Eilonwy felt a dark glow of satisfaction at the blood beginning to slick the end of her blade, although the otherworldly silver shimmer could still be seen through it. Whatever Vitani had thought would happen, they weren’t going to go down easily. 

 It was the ‘princess’ comment that distracted her at the wrong moment. She couldn’t help that frozen wonder of how the woman had known that when she had worked so hard to keep it a secret?

 In that flash, she could feel the cold claw, wrapping around the sword arm that was still close to her as Eilonwy had prepared to attack her again on the sword’s rebound, and then she was flying through the air again. 

 As she hit the ground, Eilonwy felt the sickeningly familiar feeling of bone breaking. Despite her best efforts, despite the training, that bright flash of pain overwhelmed her. 

 She screamed. 

 TOD

 Tod was busy helping others, or doing what he could to find out how to do just that. He had his sword in hand, dashing to the bodies that dropped but what could he do? He was in a panic. But then that scream rang out. It shook him to his very core. He knew that voice. He knew that voice too well.

 “Eilonwy?” He called, turning to find her on the ground, writhing in pain while her arm contorted in some strange direction. Broken. It was definitely broken. But he couldn’t even reason with what that meant as he ran in the direction of her, her scream, and the vampire that did it. 

 “Don’t touch her!” He said, standing right in front of her. She’d get up. She’d get up soon, he just had to fight alone until she did. “You and me. I won’t let you get away with this.” His sword was gripped right in his hands, pointed at Vitani. “Let’s go, coward!” His hands were shaking. But Galahad felt strong with him.

 VITANI:

 “You’ll be wise to sheath your puny sword, human!” Vitani snapped, gliding over to her final sacrifice, the unknowable knight, and drawing a thin line of blood from his arm. Mm, it did smell good. Perhaps a little taste-- she licked the point of her dagger, wrapping her tongue around it. So that’s what sweet victory tasted like. She’d have to call Shania and feed from her after this, perhaps she’d be kind enough to bed her first.

 “Before you end up like your little girlfriend, I suggest you scurry off. Go find a rock to hide under or whatever worms like you do.”

 TOD:

 “Make me,” Tod began, but before he knew it, a sharp pain split his arm before the warmth of blood rolled down his bicep. He looked up in just enough time to watch her lick her blade clean and his stomach sank at the sight of it. She was fast. Almost too fast. He’d have to think ahead.

 He chuckled, twirling his blade in his hand. “Is that really all you’ve got?” With that, he charged forward, acting as though he was going in for a swipe, but instead, attempting to hook her ankle with his foot and knock her down, then strike off her hand or at least damage her arm when she went down. “Come on, Eilonwy! Fight through the pain! I need you!”

 VITANI:

 “Aw, now I wanna get kinky.” Vitani whined at his ‘make me.’

 How frustrating it’s a do-gooder man saying it to her.

 His kick was successful, tripping her off her feet, and his blade caught her hand-- what? She was faster than this! He shouldn’t have gotten within two meters of her let alone caught her. Mother...why wasn’t Mother coming to help her, to put a stop to these humans?

 Ugh, there was no well in hell, heaven, or earth she was going to let these mortals best her! They must die. Now.

 “Apologize.” Vitani deadpanned. “Say sorry, and I’ll let you keep your head.”

 EILONWY

 Eilonwy knew she needed to get up, knew that any amount of time on the ground equalled her death, which she only cared about because she hadn’t taken down Vitani first which meant that more people would get hurt. 

 But just as she was trying to force herself up, taking a deep breath to push down the pain and compartmentalize until later, Tod was there. “Attaboy,” she said quietly, wheezing softly. 

 But she knew it wouldn’t be enough alone, so with a push, she was back on her feet, picking up her blade from the ground and tucking the broken arm in against her side out of the way. Tod had moved Vitani so she was facing away from Eilonwy, which gave her the perfect opening. 

 Lunging forward, she stabbed Vitani in the shoulder. “Pity. You won’t get the same offer from us.” 

 VITANI: At the same time the blonde’s Elven blade sank into her arm, Vitani realized why Zira wasn’t coming to put an end to all of this.

 The younger vampire made the mistake of looking toward where her mother had been dueling with Arthur and found her form lying still on the ground. No. No, impossible. There was no way that  King could’ve struck down Zira Blackwell, the most powerful vampire to have walked this sorry earth!

 No trick could foil her mother!

 Alas, when Vitani cried out in pain, Zira did not turn her head to her. She did not come to check on her loyal daughter. The footsoldier was without a commander, and thus without a handle on her rage.

 “You killed her! You killed her! You will DIE!” Vitani shrieked, launching herself at the blonde and tackling her to the ballroom floor. Vitani’s hands wrapped around her neck to squeeze the life out of her. It was what she deserved. It was what they all deserved.

 EILONWY

 Eilonwy wasn’t ready for Vitani to turn abruptly and launch herself at her, and as they hit the ground, Eilonwy saw painful stars as her broken arm slammed into the ground at the same time. 

 Her sword was too long to be used here, she couldn’t make it to any of her other weapons, and she could feel Vitani’s hands tightening around her throat and stealing the last few seconds of air. 

 It wasn’t how she thought she’d go. She refused to go afraid. 

 She clawed viciously at the hands clutching at her, kicking furiously, anything to make this harder on the woman on top of her, but she knew her human strength was no match for the vampire. So when she saw Tod over her shoulder, she nodded. Whatever he needed to do. As long as this was over. 

 As she could feel the darkness closing in from lack of air, she gasped out, “Maybe. But you’ll die first.” And she spat at her. 

 TOD

 The smile of pride that had been on Tod’s lips when Eilonwy stood and fought with him was quickly swiped away as she was tackled to the floor, Vitani’s hands around her neck. His blade was covered in the blood of her hand as he was forced back, watching his friend become choked to death. If he didn’t stop this soon, she’d die. Eilonwy. What was he supposed to do? 

 Then he watched her nod and he knew. He knew completely. Grasping his sword with both hands, he stood above her, behind her back, and aimed his sword right for her heart. “I told you not to touch her!” And with that, he thrusted his sword down, right through her heart, the blood rushing down onto Eilonwy and even himself before he shoved Vitani off her. Let her lay on her back with his sword pointed down for good measure.

VITANI:

 The last thing Vitani felt wasn’t the man’s blade, but her hatred for Arthur for killing her mother. Fine, then. She’d just make sure to kill one of his precious knights in turn. As far as Vitani knew, she succeeded in claiming her final kill because by the time she was on her back on the ballroom floor even her undead second life was over.

 Judith Lyons, Vitani Blackwell, and Victoria Boyce and all of the suffering the three women who wore the same face caused lay motionless, harmless, like a kitten declawed or a piranha without its teeth. She wasn’t like a jellyfish who could still sting in death.

 Her final act was one of malice, it was an attempted murder to avenge her creator. 

 Vitani Blackwell died as she had lived -- her mother’s loyal servant, fulfilling her mission until the end.

 Zira would have been so disappointed.

 EILONWY

 Air rushed back into her lungs as Vitani’s grip suddenly loosened and she was shoved off to the side. She gasped and then started to cough hard, curling up slightly at the way this felt against her abused throat and her starved lungs. 

 When she could breathe a little more easily, she looked up at Tod standing above her. “Thank you. I was trying, but - she was too much for me on my own.”

 She glanced over to where the vampire was laying with the sword buried in her. She should probably feel bad. That was a life that had belonged to someone that Zira had stolen, and then she had helped to end the rest of it. But she didn’t. All Eilonwy cared about was that the harm she had caused had ended. 

 She pushed herself to her feet, swaying slightly as she did so before grabbing Tod’s hand and giving it a squeeze. 

 TOD:

 For a moment, Tod was gone. Transported back to when he was a little boy, watching red grow near the heart of his grandmother. How she’d reached for him and begged him to take her closer to the flowers so she could die in peace. Only this time, he’d been the one that took a life. An immortal life, a dangerous one, but a life all the same. He reached up to his face, touching the blood on his cheek then staring at his fingertips. Blood on his hands. He would always have blood on his hands.

 The only thing that had snapped him out of it was the small grip of Eilonwy on his hand. She was alive. He’d saved her. “Don’t ever do that again,” he said, pulling her into his embrace. And already he could feel the tears beginning in his eyes. The pain of it all. The memories. They were so heavy on his shoulders. “I told you, I’m not going to let— let you die.”

 EILONWY

 She gasped sharply as she was pulled in against him, pain flashing through her system as her arm banged into him. But that was fine. Pain meant she was alive, and she would always take pain over feeling nothing at all. 

 With her good arm, she wrapped him tightly in the hug and squeezed him back. “Yeah. You showed me. I’m ok being wrong this time.”

 There was a part of her that wanted to stay here. Right here in this hug, in this moment, with this person who meant so much to her. She wanted to take a moment to process what it meant to be alive when moments ago, she had been so ready to die. 

 But she couldn’t. All around them were people who had collapsed, people who had been injured by the vampires, and scared people who didn’t know what was going on. There were the other knights to check on, the spell to foil, and Arthur to see. For some reason, she couldn’t see him, and she needed to know that he was ok too. That all of them were, and they had won. 

 “You’re going to be ok. We did what we had to do, and people are safe because of it. When this is all over, we can hang out and just talk, and it’ll be fine. Now, it’s time to go check on the others, ok?”

 Even though it hurt, she pulled back out of the hug, reaching down to grab her sword. She would need to clean it soon. But she would need to make sure it wasn’t still necessary first. 

 “Do you want to take your sword? Or - I have a spare. If you’d rather not.”

 TOD:

 Tod nodded. He nodded because he knew just hanging out and talking would mean more lies he would have to say, more false trauma like he had never seen a dead body before or even been the one that caused that death. He wasn’t innocent and even now, knowing he saved Eilonwy and maybe many others, he didn’t feel all that proud. 

 “I’ll take it. I can take it,” he said, unsteady as he stepped forward and pulled his sword from Vitani’s back. “Go ahead. If Zira is really dead then Arthur had something to do with it.” He needed to process this guilt a little longer. To forgive himself and know she would make it. Hopefully many others would too. “I’ll be okay. Stay safe.” 

 And as soon as she was gone, he would lean down and cross her arms over her chest, being sure that he respected her body. Even if she was the enemy, even if she hurt others, at one time she was a person. And he had taken everything she had and would have from then on. “May you find peace wherever peace is.” 

[ao3feed-erwinlevi]

by Song_of_the_Black_Wolf

500 Years after Tears of a Demon (one does not need to read ToD to understand this story), evil has risen again to threaten humanity. Super heroes are the only thing that stand between abundant villains and innocent citizens. When a global organization called Titan threatens to destroy humanity, it is up to a disillusioned anti-hero, Levi, to stop them. But he can't do it alone. Will he be able to overcome his own inner demons and learn to trust in the strength of other to help him put a stop to Titan?

Inspired by the fanfiction.net story 'At Least You're not Aquaman'. I can't remember the author's name, but she was, sadly, unable to finish it. If you ever get the chance, be sure to look up the title and give it a read. It was a really good story.

Words: 10191, Chapters: 4/34, Language: English

Series: Part 2 of Humanity's Strongest

Fandoms: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Categories: F/M, M/M, Multi

Characters: Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Eren Yeager, Erwin Smith, Mike Zacharias, Hange Zoë, Nanaba (Shingeki no Kyojin), Armin Arlert, Mikasa Ackerman, Ymir (Shingeki no Kyojin), Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss, Sasha Blouse, Jean Kirstein, Marco Bott, Nile Dok, Kuchel Ackerman, Kenny Ackerman, OCs, Zeke

Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager, Levi/Erwin Smith, Hange Zoë/Levi, Hange Zoë & Levi & Erwin Smith

Additional Tags: super hero AU

[jdmainman123]

DOD dod was his name IT WAS ON TV THEY GAVE US AN ANTIDOTE FOR THIS GUY TOD... D O D IS THE ANTIDOTE

I called it

You guys all know who we're looking for right Sean without 100% doubt this is what happened that little brown Filipino man remember we called Brown Francisco yeah his name was given to me because I'm not the only one that's f****** people are harassing outside so they give me this information in order for it to I have to find an antidote and once I find an antidote I'm online bragging about my joke bragging about my song bragging about how I found it and how I'm such a hero now

Sandy the transgender Sandy Brown skin got Filipino eyes

WITHOUT A DOUBT WE'RE LOOKING FOR SHAW AND HE'S VERY MAD BECAUSE WHAT HAPPENED IN LAX 34TH WAS AMAZING THEY GAVE ME THE ORDER I WENT THERE FOR THE EVICTIONS ON MY BEACH YOU KNOW SEEING IF I CAN GET SOME ALLIES AND GET SOME PEOPLE OUT OF THERE FROM FROM LOS ANGELES whatever he needs I need them all out of the houses

And I get home and Sean sisters murdered on the on the sunset strip NO THIS B**** HAD IT COME AND TRUST ME ALL THE GIRLS ARE CHEERING AND THEN WE MOVED THE LESBIANS IN ACROSS THE STREET yeah the ones who did it yeah I married her yeah

I don't know she's been dead for like 20 years but the problem is I have ghosts that come to the houses and assume the same name as an identities and then they release my information for all the neighborhood give everybody immunity to attack me outside

Oh what I can't brag

CALL ANGEL ASK ANGEL M************ ASK ANGEL WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE I got my haircut no I got all the hairs cut NAILED IT

So without a doubt I remember specifically Ginger it's undeniably why she was on my block and in the last statement when I yelled caught one they brought up one of my brothers Jason that that was on my block my entire block is full of Jason AND I REMEMBER THE SPECIFIC INCIDENT WHERE SHE WAS CALLED OUT FOR STANDING IN HER GARAGE

For skin tone for the color of her skin

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY THIS SEEMS TO BE THAT SINCE WE'RE IN DESERT CITY AND WE KNOW THE STORY AND WE'RE NOT IN ANYWHERE ELSE I KNOW THE SPECIFIC CIRCUMSTANCES OF THIS yeah and his father's blood was everywhere in Dallas they couldn't stop it

It's it's a ghost but then they're coming from these sunrises with with mischief names and they they attacked real important people to this program just to make just to make a one-up just to say if they ever come into the city with that name we're going to Red flag them it's a mistaken here is what they'll say if they come into the city with one of the same names one of the prophet names one of the untouchable names is what I'm trying to tell you

So they went ahead and took all our untouchable names and murdered them here across the streets to have the people know the names and say they're in statement here you can go ahead and kill him here

SO MORE IMPORTANTLY D O D IS THE ANTIDOTE TO T O D

Yeah but Sean had black and white skin too let me remind you that s*** bro and why doesn't Mike have a big nose? SEAN UNFORTUNATELY LEFT ME A LITTLE WHILE AGO AND ASSUMED THE IDENTITY OF ANTONIO ONE OF MY ONE OF MY APPRENTICES ONE OF MY ONE OF MY HEROES ANTONIO WAS A HERO OF MINE isn't fish yscht

But the guy has black hair and white skin just the same as all I'm trying to tell you people YEAH AND INSTEAD OF FOLLOWING SOME RELIGIOUS F****** NUT THAT OPENS A BLACK SKIN CULT A BLACK SKIN CHURCH AND TRIES TO FORCE ALL THE LITTLE BOYS TO LOVE A BLACK SKIN MAN and not a girl not a woman the rightful chosen sex

[izs]

Bookends

Content warning: suicide. I wrote this in January of 2014.

We don't often notice the difference between one day and the next in our memory. A year blends together. As you get more distance, a block of similar years become a single unit, characterized by a specific flavor of scenery, people, and feelings.

The cracks in the sidewalk that I'd avoid stepping on as I crossed the bridge over Fitch street on my way to class. The girl I smiled at walking over that bridge, and the months of passionate sex and breakups that smile unleashed. The cheap limitless terrible food at Conn Hall. The drudgery of debugging printers for professors so I could pay my rent. Winters where stepping the wrong way on a sheet of ice plunged me ankle deep into brown slush. The insufferable New Haven towing racket and incredible pizza.

And then, in a flash, the channel changes.

Suddenly it's palm trees and vacuum cleaners, then Yahoo! and JavaScript. A terrible marriage and a happy divorce. Then it flips again, to Joyent and Node and bart and biking. Speaking at conferences. Open source, buzzwords and business cards. My arrival as an internet personality. Marisa.

It's blatant in hindsight, but I usually don't see it coming. Some changes are complete and total, marking a brand new lifetime with each transition. I'm not sure I'm the same person as a few versions ago. Every line has been edited, every vision altered.

This most recent shift, though… I saw this one coming. Or at least, I saw one side of the book mark.

I prepared the transition to be as smooth as possible. I recruited allies, and trained a successor. Now was the time. I didn't know what exactly would be showing on the new channel, but I knew that a change was coming, and I wanted to make sure it'd be good. This idea of book marks was going to be my Pastry Box contribution. I had thought it all out.

I had no idea.

On Christmas eve, I sat in a thai restaurant with my friend. Luke, who makes jokes, and travels the world, and works on npm. By the end of 2013 we hung out about weekly or more, to eat and chat and laugh. We had met at Taco Conf a few years prior, where he told me that he wanted to move to Oakland to hang out with the Node people. He did that. We clicked well. He watched my cats once. I recommended him to Yahoo.

The day before that dinner, Luke had written a note. We complained about the holidays a bit, and shared Kao Nam Tod. It didn't seem weird to me that he was in town. After all, I was also. I knew he was from upstate New York, but he didn't ever talk about his family there. I don't know if I ever talked about my family much either. Just never came up. We reminisced about New England winters and how much nicer California is. We talked about how horrible the holidays are, and about business and dating and the future.

A few days later, I went out of town to visit family. The trip was too long by a day. At the end we were all eager to get back to our lives. I came back on New Year's Eve. I sent Luke a message the next morning, telling him that relatives had given me some cat toys, because they don't know how fat and lazy my cats are. Maybe his kitten could attack them, instead of attacking his face, like it usually did.

It was still early. I figured he'd get it when he got up. I could bring them by. I was working on npm that day. The new startup. The Book Mark. Everything was going great. I was looking forward to telling him about the latest developments.

I got a message from Luke at 4:15 in the afternoon. Before seeing what it said, it reminded me that I hadn't had lunch yet, and hadn't seen him in a week, which was a perfect coincidence. I was going to suggest Xolos. His message asked, "Could you share this publicly or privately in a few hours or so?" A link to the note that he wrote on Christmas Eve Eve.

Oh no. Wait. Where are you, I'm going there now. I'm coming to your house. 911. Call Mikeal. Call Dustin. Tell Marisa to bring the car back home, we have to go, now.

We met the police at his apartment. The key was where he said it'd be, and there was food and water for his kitten. Calling, again and again, it rings 4 times, and then voicemail. iMessages delivered, but no response.

5:09, another buzz in my pocket. "I've finally built up the courage to do it. Thanks again."

Calling. Straight to voicemail.

He said he'd been hiding for years, that he was tired of pretending, tired of masking his pain. It wasn't a statement, it was a choice, an expedient escape from his medical problem.

We didn't know where he went. Searched everything, everywhere. Yahoo hired an investigator. The police were beyond useless. Clues pointed to a bridge, most likely the Golden Gate. Coast Guard didn't have any John Does.

He slipped through my fingers like smoke. He'd reached out to me. I didn't save him.

That week, I learned a lot about Luke's history, things he never told any of us. I learned about his family, his past, his friends. I talked to his mother and sisters. Eyeballs deep in other people's shit, the unexpected executor of my friend's farewell. I frantically invaded his privacy, tried to find anything that could give me some hope, some clue, some rock I could turn over that he'd pop out from under.

For a while some hoped that he was faking. He'd fled to Asia or Africa on some manic adventure, played a joke on all of us. At 5:09 on New Year's Day, I lost my hope. He wasn't joking. Luke's jokes are funny, and clever, and often offensive. His note was calm, resigned, touching. If he had been crying for help, we would've been able to help him. He was smart. He knew what he was doing. He was doing it for himself, not for anyone else.

I waited for permission to grieve. I told everyone else that we can't give up hope until they find a body. But that was a lie, and I wasn't fooled. I passed along the flyers, in a gesture of mourning.

In December, I'd hoped that this phase shift would be marked by the change of job roles, and in the fullness of time, maybe it will be. But overlaid on that is the turbulent border between the part of my life where my friend Luke existed, and the part where he was abruptly and permanently gone.

[randomwoohoo]

Judy: Previously on Zoomorphia!

Nick: Right now, apart from John Silver, we at the ZPD have a new suspect in mammals’ disappearance, Peter Pan, a notorious abductor who terrorized Zootopia more than a decade ago. By the way, is it just me, or are Savages the monsters getting weirder and weirder each passing day?

Judy: Point taken, the one from last chapter was sure uncanny.

Nick: They’re all purple, glowing eyes, drooling everywhere. Some are so mutated like they leapt off the Cownenberg’s films.

Judy: Not that kind of uncanniness! But rather its demeanor… Why in the world that bear Savage hadn’t attacked nearby bank robbers until it mutated, then started targeting them?

Nick: But more importantly, let’s pick up where we left off! The wolf who helped us beat the monster went too far and killed one of the robbers. That’s not cool, especially for a hero. Shall we show him how a true hero should be, Carrots?

Judy: I wouldn’t say I deserve the ‘hero’ title yet. Nevertheless, we need to stop him.

Nick & Judy: Now the chapter 11!

Fanfiction link

.-.. . - .----. ... / -.-. --- -. - .. -. ..- .

A breeze stirred dust into the tense atmosphere in Savanna Central as one of the escaping criminals that robbed the bank was killed by the silver chrome wolf, Bolt.

“Who’s next? Better not lie or waste my time~” Right fist bopping left palm repeatedly, Bolt targeted the remaining three robbery criminals.

“Mind stepping aside?” He asked when Hybrid came to stand in his way.

“We won’t let you harm anyone anymore.” Hybrid struck a fighting pose.

“Is that so?” Bolt, stepping back, distanced himself from the armored cross-bred mammal slowly. Subsequently, Nick and Judy, sharing one body, lowered Hybrid’s guard in a slightly confused manner.

Abruptly, Bolt sprinted, then jumped over Hybrid, giving a mock salute while passing above the united duo.

“Oh no, you don’t.” Nick exclaimed.

Hybrid reached upward to grab Bolt’s ankle in the air and then flung him forward. The fallen wolf rolled twice on the ground to decrease the force of the throw before crouching down firmly.

The robbers considered the situation quite dangerous; hence, they aimed to abscond, walking away furtively.

“Stop right there! You’re not going anywhere!” Judy turned around and shouted at them.

They promptly came to a halt. “Under dangerous circumstances, isn’t a hero like you supposed to let us civilians get out?” The brown ferret robber protested.

“First! I’m not a hero. Second! You three are all criminals! Not merely civilians! So drop the money bags and stay put till the police come!” She fulminated, pointing the flamingo red armored right index finger at the ferret.

“Watch it, bunny~” Bolt, still crouching down, told Hybrid… Actually, he specified Judy. “Dang~ Getting chatty all the sudden… adds another reason why I can’t let those guys go.” The wolf dashed forwards. It looked like he was going after those three robbers again.

Hybrid hopped in front of Bolt to block his way. Strong rabbit legs allowed the armored mammal to jump high enough to the wolf’s eye level with ease.

Unfortunately, it seemed that he predicted it. Bolt stretched his left arm out and took hold of Hybrid’s face in one paw in mid air. The two amethyst stylish headlamps for eyes of Hybrid were covered by the big silver chrome palm.

Bolt then slammed Hybrid on the ground but before the doe rabbit body hit the concrete floor, Hybrid, paws extended, pushed the floor. Judy, taking control of the body, leglocked around the wolf’s left arm, which made him lose his balance for a moment. Next, she, exerting a force to pull the legs along with the wolf downward, quickly threw him sprawling on the ground.

Hybrid unwrapped the legs around Bolt’s arm, rolling away from him to put some distance before standing up.

“I see.” Bolt raised himself gradually, “When it comes to pure strength, I’m no match for Hybrid light green form.” brushing dirt on him off. “But I know just a thing to make up for it~” He sounded amused, then “Accel” uttered calmly.

Following that, the united duo saw Bolt briefly becoming a blur before they, facing up to the sky, flew away as if Hybrid had just got hit… Not as if… In reality, Hybrid had just unpreparedly got kicked in the front so hard that the armored mammal flew away and fell down on the ground.

Hybrid hastily kicked up. When the duo regained Hybrid’s feet, they caught sight of the silver flash, Bolt approaching the armored mammal in a split second. Hybrid hurriedly backed away from Bolt by a jump. However, the wolf closed in like greased lightning, throwing a right hook punch at Hybrid who was still floating above the ground from jumping. The partners as one instinctively blocked his punch with the left arm.

As the punching force sent Hybrid to land on feet not far away, the armored rabbit feet rubbed against the concrete floor, leaving visible marks of friction. The left arm was shaking even though they did not feel the punch impact was that strong.

Not having time to take a breath, Hybrid was pursued by Bolt battering the armored mammal with fists. No time for thinking at all, the duo could only rely on the reflex to block the attack, waiting for a perfect opportunity to “ ACTIVATE” press the syringe with the right paw in order to activate super strength and counterpunch the silver wolf.

Nevertheless, Bolt took a step back in time to avoid a blow. At that particular moment, Nick and Judy got a glimpse of electric sparks coming off from his paws. Simultaneously, they found that the left arm they used to block previous attacks turned numb.

“That wolf used electricity to attack…?” Nick murmured.

“Pretty much explain how he killed those Savages and the robber over there.” Judy casted a glance at the jackal criminal lying lifelessly.

In the jackal’s case, Bolt could send electricity running through the jackal’s heart, resulting in it beating irregularly, which led to heart failure.

Hybrid’s arm eventually recovered after shaking off. Subsequently, Bolt came at Hybrid again. This time however, Nick “ACTIVATE” teleported Hybrid. He merely responded to the thought that it was unacceptable to let his partner’s body keep on taking damages despite rapid healing.

When Hybrid instantly moved to behind the silver chrome wolf, “Double Accel” he, uttering calmly, turned back and jumped like blazes on the armored mammal. The cross-breed was kicked in the side. The momentum sent Hybrid flying to fall down nearby the robbery criminals.

Dumbfounded, both Nick and Judy could not believe that the wolf was able to react to an instant transmission almost at once. At that point, Bolt leapt towards Hybrid, taking Judy’s breath away. She was quite freaking out, so Nick decided to take a full control of the body “ACTIVATE” to activate enhanced speed, skedaddling like a scared rabbit.

He came to a stop several feet away from Bolt, who was in fact not after Hybrid but the remaining three criminals instead. “I’m not done with these guys yet~ Wouldn’t mind if I take them with me, right?” The silver wolf carried them by force, sending non-fatal electric current through their brains to knock them out in order to prevent struggling. They dropped the money bags while losing consciousness.

A few moments later, a SUV car for rhino species arrived close by the wolf carrying the passed out mammals. “Ciao~” Bolt exclaimed. He got in a car, dragging others including the jackal dead body in, before the car left.

Afterwards, Hybrid’s long rabbit ears picked up sound, Nick guessing that police and SCU team were heading towards them because they were not far from the scene of bank robbery, which it would be strange if those officers and agents did not hear the noise of battle.

“Carrots, we need to move now.”

“M-mhm” Judy got hold of herself, running off into a community building area.

Hybrid detransformed, Nick and Judy then sneaked into trucks of two separated police cruisers. They returned to ZPD station before Judy decided to leave work early…, leaving Nick alone at the station.

-.. . ..-. . .- - . -..

Since the previous day, the doe rabbit officer had barely talked. When the tod fox arrived at their cubicle in the morning, she was already there…, sitting quietly all by herself.

Nick sat down on a office chair next to her with an intention to initiate conversation. In spite of that, “Back then...” Judy was the one who broke the awkward silence.

“I was so scared… felt completely at a loss.” She, trembling, referred to the fight with Bolt the silver chrome wolf.

“I totally forgot about those three mammals… If they end up with the same fate as that jackal, it’s… it’s my fault.” She raised her legs, hugging her knees up to the chest.

“Judy...” Nick called his partner worriedly by her real name… not a nickname as usual.

The fox thought to himself. Although the mammal who ran away without second thought like a coward was me, she blames herself… He did not wish to see his bunny suffer… He reached his right paw out to the bunny with a desire to comfort her.

Before Nick could lay his paw on Judy, his stomach rumbled loud enough to attract her attention.

“Haven’t eaten breakfast yet?” Cracking an awkward smile, she turned to her fox partner covering his tummy embarrassedly. “Let’s feed the beast in your belly.” She hopped off her chair.

“Way to go, dumb tum” He, sarcastically mumbling at his tummy, got off his chair as well, following the doe out of their small work area.

At the reception desk, Clawhauser the chubby cheetah officer had been concerned about Judy since he saw her drooping on previous day. He did not think he had the guts to ask what happened.

When the duo ambled through ZPD lobby, Clawhauser called to them. “Judy! Nick! Where are you going?”

They consequently swerved to the feline officer. “We’re gonna get some grub.” Nick replied while Judy was beaming at Clawhauser despite her evident droopy ears.

“May I go along with you two?” The cheetah begged.

Nick stood a glance at the doe, coming to a decision. Right now, She needs her friends. “Sure thing, pal” Putting paws in his pockets, he smirked.

.-- --- .-. .-. -.-- / .- -. -.. / -.-. --- -. -.-. . .-. -.

In one fast food restaurant of Bug-Burga franchise, Tundratown, Judy was reserving a table, sitting on an adult high chair for small mammal. To be frank, it was odd to see a herbivore prey such as her in a place best known for serving insect protein food for predators.

Meanwhile, Nick and Clawhauser were waiting near the counter for their ordered meals and a vegan smoothie which the cheetah gladly bought for the bunny.

“It’s the same as before.” Clawhauser, standing next to Nick, said.

The fox turned to the big cat who kept looking toward a french fry station behind the counter.

The feline officer continued, “After that three years ago press conference of missing mammals, she has been blaming herself for starting conflict between predators and preys… although Bellwether was culprit turning predators savage.

Even when you two saved the city by discovering the truth, which ultimately led to creating an antidote for the night howler serum and many praising you, calling you heroes...” speaking distressedly.

“She still doesn’t accept the title ‘hero’... because guilt complex keeps haunting her...” Nick was fully aware of the rest of the story. He as well as Clawhauser received their meals over the counter before returning to their table.

“Here’s your smoothie, Judy.” The cheetah placed a small cup of berry smoothie, equivalent to rabbit’s large cup, right in front of the doe.

“Thanks a lot” She expressed her gratitude, taking hold of the drink.

“Don’t mention it” The cheetah beckoned like a kitty cat.

During the time that the predatory cops were noshing, especially Clawhauser chomping on his bug burger, Nick, chewing ground-up insects with soft buns, gazed upon Judy sipping her smoothie absent-mindedly.

“In case you feel uncomfortable, let me know. I can accompany you to outside. Patty smell in here is rather strong.” The fox told his bunny partner, worried that meat or insect- heavy restaurant atmosphere might discomfort a prey like her.

“I’m fine.” The bunny drew a straw away from her mouth. “Actually, I feel better. The smell in here somehow… help clearing my mind...” She looked around, watching predators other than her friends sinking their sharp fangs into their food.

Clawhauser initially wanted to ask the duo about the mysterious silver chrome wolf but seeing Judy emotionally confused, he would rather inquire some other time. As for Nick, “Carrot-” he wished to reach out to her.

But suddenly, there was a clamor from a next-door shop. Responsibilities kicking in, three of the officers subsequently rushed out to check, discerning mammals in the fishmonger’s shop stampeding.

“Savage! Savage!” Some cried.

“Where!?” The cops speedily got closer, turning left and right swiftly to in search of the monster.

When their eyes laid on a small purple furball sticking to the wall, they discerned what it was, a squirrel with independently mobile eyes of chameleon and toes covered in tufts of tiny hairs, Savage without a doubt.

“Oh, it looks so puny.” Nick sounded let-down.

“Regardless of the size, it’s still a threat. Benjamin, keep an eye on the situation.” Judy, dragging Nick, hastened to the nearest alleyway where there was nobody else.

No word is needed. The tod, perceiving the doe’s objective, belted a MidniDriver morpher around his waist. When she was about to put on hers, “Boy, rabbits sure are fast.” the panting cheetah, tired from running, appeared at the mouth of the alley.

“What!? Why are you here!?” She was startled by the big cat.

“I wanna witness transformation with my own eyes.” He made big ‘please’ eyes.

Sighing, “If that’s so, please look after Nick” she put on the morpher.

“Say what?” The cheetah wondered what the bunny meant while the fox “DRAW BLOOD” pulled the silver syringe on the left side of his transformation gear.

“Catch me, Clawhauser” Out of the blue, the fox leant backward, so the cheetah leapt in to catch the falling fox.

The bunny “INJECT” pressed her syringe, causing her partner to fall asleep by the time he was caught by the fellow feline. “Transform” She announced, drawing cheetah’s attention, before twisting the handle back “IGNITE”.

“Hot! Hot! Hot!” Clawhauser, carrying an unconscious canine, moved farther away from Judy swallowed by scorching purple mist. He gaped at a morpher’s core light shining in a thick fog followed by light of two headlamps at doe rabbit’s eye level.

Once the mist faded away, a flamingo red armored amalgamation between a fox and a rabbit with light green torso and grayish-tan lower body, Hybrid Hustler form, was revealed.

Hybrid vaulted over Cheetah the much larger mammal easily, then hurried into the shop. Others immediately made way for the little red torpedo.

When the duo as one first entered the shop, they noticed an angeline wolverine covering her right paw, face twisted with pain. Hybrid therefore sped to the corner where she was sitting with a muskox.

“What’s the matter?” Nick in the armored mammal body asked the angeline concernedly.

“She was bitten.” The muskox answered in place of her.

Hybrid looked round for the monster. The duo saw the purple furball climbing walls briskly, having difficulty keeping track of its movement under a panic situation. Thus, they twisted the handle forth twice. “FORM SHIFT-ARCHER” MidniDriver emitted purple haze shrouding Hybrid before the united duo pivoted around to clear the haze, becoming the armored mammal with charcoal masquerade eye mask in a green leather tunic, Hybrid Archer form.

A monitor of this form can detect a rapid motion. Accordingly, they pinpointed the squirrel Savage behind seafood counter. Pressing the syringe to summon a bow in the left paw “ACTIVATE”, Hybrid sprinted.

The screeching tiny monster climbed down the wall nimbly. There was a male scream of fear from under the counter. It could be presume that there was a male mammal hiding there.

Hybrid hurdled the counter, generating an arrow from the right wrist before firing it. When Hybrid landed on the floor, Judy was horrified to see a blood-soaked polar bear. Savages don’t bleed, so how there’s blood everywhere!? Or did I shoot him? She was trembling anxiously.

“Chill out, Carrots! It’s just fish blood from a bucket.” Nick shouted in a whisper. Judy eventually perceived that the arrow hit the bucket on the shelf which the Savage rushed to hide behind. As a result, it leaked the blood out on the bear.

The squirrel scampered out of the shop through a back door. Hybrid went posthaste after it. Since the duo traded Hustler form’s speed for Archer form’s monitor sensor, it was not easy task to catch up with the agile small monster. They followed it to the Bug-Burga restaurant, entering the kitchen from the back of the restaurant, which terrified the Bug-Burga staffs.

Hybrid drew the bow string back, determining on shooting another arrow. Once they released the arrow, it flew towards the purple target on the wall. However, it, one eye rotating to look at the armored mammal, bounced off the wall in time; hence, the arrowhead stabbed into the wall instead.

The monster jumped on mammals one after another, scaring them so much that they gave sharp cries.

At the time that a loud noise occured, the customers started to worry not long before worries grew to terrors when the squirrel Savage came in dining area. They were so frightened that they forgot to contact SCU. Some brought their phones up to live stream the event.

Hybrid hopped on the cashier counter, pulling the bow back to aim, revolving slowly. Nonetheless, any mammals around the areas that Hybrid aimed got petrified, freezing in place. At the moment Judy noticed mammals’ horrified faces, she, lowering the bow down, was afraid of accidentally harming civilians with arrows.

In the interval, carrying a senseless fox in his arms, Clawhauser raced to in front of the restaurant. He looked into the place through its window.

Hybrid soon detected the Savage crawling on ceiling. Without delay, the duo shot the arrow up but the monster drop itself first, so the arrow, piercing in the ceiling, missed again. The purple squirrel landed on one puma’s arm. He alarmedly shook it off rapidly and then yelped in pain when it finally fell off his arm to the table, leaving faint claw wounds on him.

Hybrid, pushing the syringe “ACTIVATE”, sprang towards the table while grabbing a gladius sword that popped up out of thin air prior to stabbing the tip of it down with the goal to kill the tiny monster.

However, the Savage leapt off to stick on the wall a second ahead of Hybrid’s attack. The archer armored mammal came down on the table.

Shortly after raising the head, Hybrid shrank back, taking a step away from the sword stuck in the table. Underneath the helmet, Judy became speechless on account of espying the startled puma terrified to the point he shed tears.

Nick in bunny’s body sensed insecurity surged up within her. Judy was evidently afraid of messing up, causing others’ misery. At any rate, to make the world a better place, she still could not ignore those who need help.

“Nick” She breathed, “I’m no hero.” looking at animals around her, “But if...” looking into their eyes which expressed hopes… They were counting on Hybrid, a mysterious stranger from their point of view.

“-mammals see us as a hero,-” Judy twisted the handle back. “CRITICAL BREAK” Hybrid’s right palm glowed.

“I’d have to act like one.” She spoke softly yet determinedly. Hybrid drew the sword from the table. Once the armored mammal grasped a grip of the sword, the paw transferred a glow to its blade.

Hybrid’s monitor began to calculate the squirrel Savage’s movement. It was scuttling on the wall. Hybrid Archer form raised and drew the bow, using the glowing sword as an arrow.

Savage moved to front window of the restaurant. Hybrid released the sword. It flew across the restaurant like the wind to pierce through the fleet-footed tiny monster.

Finally, the Savage, stabbed to the window, was meeting its end. It vaporized while the window was cracking.

Everything happened so fast that eyewitnesses could not comprehend what just occurred.

After the bewildering moments, Clawhauser, holding fox body with one arm, was clapping outside the restaurant. By and by, others gave Hybrid a round of applause.

“Are you smiling?” Nick asked Judy in a low voice.

“No” Her cheeks radiated heat.

“I can feel it.~”

“Quit it!” She ran to exit the back door, pulling the syringe to detransform. The suit of armor let purple steam out, causing a diversion that helped her escape.

On the cheetah side, “Oh, you’re back! How are you? What about Judy?” he felt the fox woke up, regaining his senses.

“Hang on.” The tod fox pressed his syringe to inject the blood, curing severe fatigue. “I’m fine and Carrots...” He swiftly put his morpher away, “she’s doing better~” wearing a genuine relieved smile.

- --- / -... . / -.-. --- -. - .. -. ..- . -..

[fanficksandimagines]

Close as strangers- G.D.

Song inspired imagine.

Song: Close as strangers- 5 seconds of summer.

Link to the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxKfW5u2rbM

Twin: Grayson Dolan

Word count: 2245

Warnings: A few curse words here and there, nothing else.

A/N So, I wanted to write this one for a long time actually, and I’m kinda glad that I did. I also have an imagine for Ethan in mind, from the same song, but the story line is different. So I’ll see how this one goes. 

Requests are still open.

“We’re going on tour!” Grayson practically shouted through the phone. You smiled at the good news, your heart jumping from excitement. “Oh my god. Babe, that’s so awesome!” you said back happily. “Shit. I have to go now; we have to finish the meeting. I’ll call you right after I get out of here.” He said rushing. “Okay. Bye. Love you.” You said in the phone still smiling at the good news. “Love you, bye.” He said before he hung up. You were overfilled with joy, hearing that your boyfriend will get to fulfill his dream.  A part of you was a little sad, because you knew that you couldn't go with him. That didn't matter right now; the important part was happiness filling your heart, pushing the sadness away.

You were standing in the airport, wrapped up in Graysons arms. You didn’t want to let him go, knowing that you won’t see him for the next 6 months. Your heart was aching, tears threatening to escape, but you held it all in. “We’ll talk on skype. I’ll text you every day. I’ll send you pictures. I’ll bring you gifts.” Grayson went on to list things he’ll do for you while he’s away. “I know.” You said in his chest listening to his voice. “Just shut up for a moment.” You said pulling him closer, if that even was possible. You put your ear against his chest and listened to his heartbeat. It wasn’t steady, meaning that he was nervous. He held you, his arms strongly around your body as he placed a kiss on top of your head. “We have to go.” Ethan informed walking up beside you both.  You let go of his body the same time as he did. You looked at him gathering his bags. Grayson turned back to you and pulled you close one last time, kissing you like there’s no tomorrow.  The kiss didn’t last as long as you wanted. The feeling of his lips against yours faded too quickly.  “I’ll miss you.” He whispered your faces still close. You didn’t say anything, afraid that your voice might break. You kissed his lips one last time, before he had to walk away. “I love you.” he said his voice already too distant for your liking, as he walked away backwards still looking at you. “I love you.” You said loud enough for him to hear, as a sad smile appeared on your lips. “I’ll miss you.” You added your voice breaking, still loud enough for him to hear. He blew a kiss in your direction making you chuckle, as a tear ran down your face. You waved goodbye, before walking away to get back home.

Graysons point of view.

Six weeks since I've been away

And now you're sayin' everything has changed

And I'm afraid that I might be losing you

After Ethan and I left for tour, someone had posted pictures of me and Y/n in the airport. Obviously, people started talking. Twitter was full of those pictures, fans questioning my relationship status since I've always said that I’m single, keeping Y/n my little secret. It was out now, because of some stupid paparazzi. A bit more than a half of our fans were saying positive things, yet there still was the negativity. Some magazines made articles speculating the whole thing, lying and making things up. Saying that Y/n is a player who has dated multiple celebrities and that she switches guys like clothes. That she’s a cheater, a gold-digger. It broke my heart. I didn't even want to look at my social media accounts. She’s none of that. I know her better than they all do, and I know, that she isn't even close to being like that. “I don’t know Grayson. Maybe we shouldn't make it all official.” She said answering my question of should we tell the world about our relationship. I could tell in her voice, she was sad about the whole situation. “Alright, then we won’t. Anyways, how’s your day?” I asked changing the topic. “Wh-hat?” she asked. “How was your day?” I asked again, already getting used to interruptions because of the services. Every phone call seems to go like that. “Horrible. I th-y fir-d me tod-y.” She said parts of what she said missing. “Why?” I asked back confused. “It’s n-t a big d-al Gray. D-n’t w-ry.” She said.

Everything has changed now. Even if it has been only 6 weeks. I’m away, while she’s home alone. She’s on her own and I wish I was back home next to her. Don’t get it wrong, I love touring, I love meeting all of our fans… but people are talking about me, her, us. She’s not used to being in the spotlight, where everything isn't as bright as it seems from the sidelines. The worst part is that I can tell that she’s closing off. She usually keeps her thoughts to herself, the only people she opens up to being me and her best friend. It rips my heart apart, because I can tell that she’s hiding away from things and not telling me about it. I’m afraid that I might be losing her.

Oh, everyday

You feel a little bit further away

And I don't know what to say

Every time I call her, it feels like she closing of even more. We talk, yeah, but usually it’s me who’s talking. She keeps quiet. When I ask her something she answers shortly and makes me talk instead. Sometimes I don’t even know what to say anymore to keep the conversation going. She’s hurting, and I can’t find the right words to say.

Are we wasting time

Talking on a broken line?

Telling you I haven't seen your face in ages

I feel like we're as close as strangers

The further away I go, the less we get to talk. The services don’t work like we wish they would. Sometimes calling seems pointless. We’re talking on a broken line. Lately she has refused to skype or send me a picture of herself, just to see her face. She always says that she hasn't slept well and that she doesn't want me to see her like that. I keep telling her that I don’t care all I want is to see her face. I miss her so goddamn much.

Won't give up

Even though it hurts so much

Every night I'm losing you in a thousand faces

Now it feels we're as close as strangers

“Maybe this isn't meant to be.” I read the text over and over again. She’s hurting, I know, but I can’t lose her over this. I can’t lose her. I love her. I love her so damn much. I taped the call button next to her name on my phone. One ring… the 2nd one….. 3rd….. “Hey! It’s me Y/n, leave your message after the signal.” I hear her voice. I cancel the call and try again. I know she can pick up. I just know it. I tried 4 more times until she answered the call. “Hey, I’m sorry for- for not picking u-up.” I heard her sob out. Hearing her cry made my heart sink. “Hey baby. What’s wrong?” I asked concerned and hurt at the same time. “I m-miss y-you.” She said before starting to cry again. My eyes started watering. ”I know. I miss you too Y/n… God I miss you so much. Can we talk on skype? I want to see you, I need to see your face.” I said trough the phone. “I don’t know-“she started but I cut her off. “No, please. I need to see you, alright? I haven’t see your face in 3 months Y/n.” I argued. The phone call suddenly went dead. She hung up. It hurts so much. So many things she’s not telling me, so much shit going on. So many lies going around.  After a minute or so I heard my computer ringing. She was calling me on skype. I quickly took my computer in my lap and answered it. My breath hitched when I saw her. She looks different.  Her eyes puffy and read from crying, dark circles around them. Her cheeks scratched and skin- pale. I knew that the scratches were from panic attacks. She’d scratch her cheeks whenever her panic attacks got out of hand. “Grayson, I don’t think that I can keep doing this.” She said her voice tired from crying. “I’m not giving up on you Y/n. Not giving up on us. Lying paparazzi’s and distance won’t take you away from me, alright? Just please hold on. Please. I love you, Y/n.” I said on verge of tears my own voice breaking. She hung her head low, all I could hear were her sobs. The pain in my chest unbearable. “I love you, Grayson.” She whispered, loud enough for me to hear.

Late night calls and another text

Is this as good as we're gonna get?

Another time zone taking me away from you

It’s been 4 months. 4 months since I last hugged her. I want to call her, but it’s night time for her. She’s sleeping, I know. She sent me a text. “I can’t stay up any longer. Good night. I love you.” The text read. “I love you too.” I type in and tap send. As every week passes by we become more distant. It’s mostly because of the time zones. We don’t get to talk. It hurts.

Six months since I went away

And I know everything has changed

But tomorrow I'll be coming back to you

It’s been 6 months. 6 months on tour. 6 months traveling. 6 months away from home. 6 months away from her. We’re going to be home tomorrow. One last flight to take. One last night and I’ll be able to hold her in my arms. Hug her. Kiss her. It has been hard. The past 6 months have been hard. The tour was awesome, meeting all of those who support me and Ethan. It was amazing. “We’re going home.” I said letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding in. “Yeah. We did it.” Ethan said looking at me as I looked back at him. “Honestly, I miss home.” He said closing his eyes and resting in his seat. “Yeah, me too.” I added relaxing in my own seat. Soon the flight took off and I drifted in a slumber.

I’m pretty sure I was the first one to stand up when the plain finally landed. I didn't care about anything except getting out. I knew she was waiting somewhere in the airport. I took my stuff and got out of the plain impatiently. “Common, common.” I kept mumbling to myself. I walked through the airport, Ethan somewhere following behind. I pushed past some people, and stepped over some bags, nearly falling. I kept walking through the crowd, and pushing my way through until there were less people. Less and less of them. I stopped, my breath uneven. There were just a few people standing in the area, and on the other side I saw her. The time seemed to stop. The sound of people chattering faded. Everything slowed down, except for my breathing.  Y/n. She was standing there, in a bright blue hoodie and black leggings, simple yet so beautiful. Her long beautiful hair cut short to her shoulders. Her scratched cheeks seemingly healed. We were both looking at each other, standing on our sides, not moving. I felt like I was too scared to walk closer. Scared that it’s just an illusion, and if I’ll walk closer she’ll fade. My breath grew heavy. I couldn't steady my breathing. She took a step forward and I did the same mirroring her. God what’s wrong with me? I've imagined this moment so many times. Even tried to plan it, but I can’t do anything. I’m just standing one foot forward to her, looking at her. Scared. Scared that we might have become strangers. Scared. “Y/n.” I managed to push her name over my lips in a whisper. “Grayson.” I could read her lips, but I couldn't hear her voice. I wanted to run. Run towards her, take her in my arms and never let go, but my body was frozen. She seemed to be dealing with the same issue. “For fucks sake. Common Grayson.” I said to myself, accidentally saying it out loud. She heard me and a small smile appeared on her lips. Her smile. I didn't need anything else. It’s like her smile was a lit match that fell to the gasoline covered ground. My blood started to boil. I ran towards her and she ran my way. Our bodies were about to collide, just inches between us. We stopped. I looked at her face searching with my eyes for something unknown for myself. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her as close as I could. She put her arms around my torso squeezing me as much as she could. I breathed in her smell that I had almost forgotten over the months. “I missed you so much.” She whispered in my chest. “I've missed you so goddamn much.” I said holding her like she would disappear otherwise. My heart beating next to hers. I was finally in her arms and she was in mine. I was finally home.

[jobone123]

Got 5 white HAIRS n 4 gold WORKING ON TOUR LOOK abandoned city HERE WE COME ima kill a cop#/*?*

Hey mike why not sean or kenny or dave? YOUR FAMILY IS DEAD #promise THIS ATTACK OF TOAD SPEAKING OF MIKE WAS FROM ORIGINAL I heard it JUST DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS FROM NEXT DOOR

Ima break tods face FOR NO ENERGY NAME DROPPING again

I'm glad ANY SUNRISE JASON incident I NEED TO THANK HIM from this behavior I CAN SEE WHY IT HAPPENED brings my sarogates n beats them to have his kids BUT IF SHE SEES ME whoops not your babies ITS THE RULE OF LAW more money #wins LIKE BLACK BAE SEEING A WHITE DICK PICK LINE UP whoops

I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS TODD SAYING MIKE I will handle it 1ST KAMILA HARRIS DEAD DEMI LOVATO DEAD n that bag of pulp JENNIFER dead PROMISE# you cant gay talk boys of another man

247 tod says mike CHEERLEADER DEFENDS WHISTLEBLOWER from YACHT JAYSON HEARING

Anyways I SAW PAUL MANAFORT S NEW FAMILY n yikes what happened to his daughters face YIKES

BLOOD WAS SO YACHT JAYSON CANT SPEAK FREELY but held up to DATABREACH time#/*?*?*

UR FEAR IS MY SUCCESS I would dance no names around EXzACkTLY lmao #1 INCIDENT REPORT EVERY TIME SOMEONE IN SUNRISE TALKS Mic calls them out TRY IT IN A 8 BEDROOM ACCIDENT PUSSY

PLANTATION is a nigger infested 8 10 bedroom ABANDONED HOTELS

For sometime ANY SUNRISE has tried to get Mike but I found Mic TO ATTACK YACHT JAYSON but blood bleeding for years walking by this pedifiles bald white dad black bald tod MEANS '1 THING I already won YOU CANT TALK SHIT TO SOMEONE BLEEDING EVERYDAY to not of killed PUT MY HANDS ON YOU it's the accident WHAT IS DURANT N THE OLD COP LADY HE WOASNT EWE going to protect u AGAINST MY GHOST WHEN I LEAVE I'm leaving yacht ghost instructions

I m not coming back ABANDONED CITY TOURS here we go CANT MAKE ME BLEED IN SNOW so your dead 1 bedrooms houses daughters can watch me WTF

I heard FABIO KILLED MIKE then YACHT JAYSON killed ALICIA lmao

Anyways I'm more interested in why tod would interfere with mike TALKING I did hear treason n databreaching TEACHING WHITE GIRLS there he bleeds

But Todd s actions is warrant FACE KICKED IN 199% because any SUNRISE jason incident ARE ALL BLACK MEN THE SAME name WAIT NEVERMIND are all white men the same NAME huh ?*?*

Tods suicidal talk n now white hair PLUS HE HATES BLACK BOYS N GIRLS in fact why I couldn't hear him MIKE ping in original 6 to 3'4 WAS BECAUSE ITS HIM THE MAN THAT SENT BLACKS WITH NO MONEY TO BE KILLED ON MY TOUR Ex. After snow# incident black broken bones sent by tod SHE CALLS ME THE ACCIDENT meanwhile IM TELLING YOU PEOPLE WHO THE MAN IS nevermind it's too late now I SEE HOW YOU ALL BEGUN TODAY N TOMORROW with this DATABREACH the sound of a suicidal black man tod MAKES ME BREAKING HIS FACE so important n RELIVING it's an ACCIDENT for mankind a black man to get suicidal on another white man FOR WHITE MIKE it will be KNOWN n solved PROMISE# tod crossed a line THAT RESULTS you dont respect your brother when I'm your brother BECAUSE OF AN INCIDENT I WASNT THERE fuck u

Oh my Mercedes n Truck IMA NEED THEM BACK

[oscopelabs]

‘O.C. and Stiggs’ And The Utterly Unreleasable, Mind-Roasting Summer Of Robert Altman by Keith Phipps

[This month, Musings pays homage to Produced and Abandoned: The Best Films You’ve Never Seen, a review anthology from the National Society of Film Critics that championed studio orphans from the ‘70s and ‘80s. In the days before the Internet, young cinephiles like myself relied on reference books and anthologies to lead us to film we might not have discovered otherwise. Released in 1990, Produced and Abandoned was a foundational piece of work, introducing me to such wonders as Cutter’s Way, Lost in America, High Tide, Choose Me, Housekeeping, and Fat City. (You can find the full list of entries here.) Over the next four weeks, Musings will offer its own selection of tarnished gems, in the hope they’ll get a second look. Or, more likely, a first. —Scott Tobias, editor.]

Robert Altman was happiest working in the shadows. That’s true of his relationship with Hollywood—where he never fit in, except as the town’s designated maverick—but also true of his relationship with other movies. Altman always had a lot to say about his craft, even if he tended to treat interviews as opportunities to reiterate points he made many times. One talking point he returned to, including when I spoke to him in 2000, is the notion that influence could work backwards. “The directors who’ve probably had the most influence on me,” he said, “were probably names I don’t even know, because I looked at a film that was really bad and I would say, ‘Hmm, I’m never going to do that.’ That’s probably the most direct positive influence on the work I do. I don’t even know who those directors are.”

When talking about Altman, it’s always worth talking about what he was trying not to do as much as what he hoped to accomplish. M*A*S*H can be seen as a war film determined to show viewers what other films would not, from the bloody mess left after battles end to the long stretches of wartime boredom to the sometimes ugly sides of the lifesaving heroes. McCabe and Mrs. Miller is a Western without heroes. The Long Goodbye lets a noir play out in the sunny, counterculture-filled ‘70s Los Angeles.

All of which sort of explains how Altman came to direct the teen comedy O.C. and Stiggs—but only sort of. Shot in 1983—while films like Screwballs, Private School, and Losin’ It rolled out in multiplexes across America—it should have been released to catch the wave of raunchy teen comedies stirred by National Lampoon’s Animal House in 1978 and made into a tsunami by Bob Clark’s Porky’s three years later. But Altman was far from on board with the T&A-filled spirit of the times. When approached by producer Peter Newman, he recalled thinking, in an interview conducted for the film’s DVD release, “This isn’t my kind of film. I don’t know how to do these kinds of films.’ But that was a time when these teenage films were kind of in…mode. And I hated them. I just hated them. And I thought, here’s a chance to do a satire on something that I feel strongly about.” “I went after it,” he added, in a telling choice of phrase, “in that matter.”

He at least had slightly more prestigious source material from which to draw, if only slightly. Though the film doesn’t bear the National Lampoon name, its title characters, a pair of prank-happy Arizona teens, come from the magazine’s pages. Created by Lampoon writers Ted Mann and Tod Carroll, Oliver “Out Of Control” Ogilvie and Mark Stiggs became favorite recurring characters in the Lampoon’s last gasp of relevance in the early ’80s. Their stories also embodied the changes to the magazine’s spirit in the Reagan era, when the always freewheeling publication started punching down far more often than it punched up. Two children of privilege, the O.C. and Stiggs of its pages enjoy an adolescence filled with excess, abuse, and casual racism and misogyny. Their adventures climaxed with the novella-length “The Utterly Monstrous, Mind-Roasting Summer of O.C. and Stiggs,” which took up the entirety of the Lampoon’s 1982 issue.

It also provided the backbone to Altman’s film, courtesy of a screenplay credited to Mann and Donald Cantrell. In Hunter Stephenson’s extensive history/appreciation of the film, Mann notes that Carroll worked on the script but took his name off the movie. Altman then reworked the script and allowed it to drift further from the original vision thanks to a typically improvisation-friendly set. Really, he had no choice. Altman was never known for being overly respectful of screenplays, but O.C. and Stiggs plays as if he’s compelled to actively work against the source material while still following the outline of the plot. There’s a brutal wit to Mann and Carroll’s stories*, but the teenage nihilism at their core is hard to square with Altman’s sensibility, which could be unsparing of human behavior while still maintaining an underlying respect for human decency.

As such, Wino Bob, the boys’ “Negro derelict” friend, is given all the dignity a character named Wino Bob can hope to have, thanks to a heartfelt performance from Melvin Van Peebles. The heroes’ attempt to shame a pair of teachers in a gay relationship becomes the occasion for one of the teachers to say he doesn’t care. And the film’s central conflict between O.C. and Stiggs’ and the Schwab family, a grotesque suburban clan that’s grown rich from insurance sales, becomes a battle between haves and have-nots, with O.C. now motivated to exact revenge on the Schwabs thanks to the cancellation of his grandfather’s (Ray Walston) health insurance, a development that will send O.C. off to live with relatives in Arkansas at the end of the summer unless something can be done. What emerged looks more like an Altman movie than, say, Fraternity Vacation, but it’s a strange beast nonetheless, a Brundlefly-like hybrid that’s not really equipped to live in any known movie habitat. There’s too much overlapping dialogue and restless camerawork, to say nothing of the virtual absence of nudity, for Porky’s fans, too many outrageous pranks for the arthouse.

That might explain why MGM didn’t know what to do with the movie, shelving it after disastrous screenings in 1984, which came and went without a release. So did 1985. And 1986. And though the film apparently played some theaters in 1987, it didn’t reach New York until 1988, when it appeared at Film Forum as part of a Dennis Hopper retrospective. Most viewers who encountered it did so on VHS in the late ‘80s, when it already looked like a lost film from a bygone time, the T&A comedies of the early ‘80s having given way to the more sympathetic efforts of another Lampoon alum, John Hughes. (If nothing else, Jon Cryer, who plays the much-tormented Randall Schwab, already looked noticeably younger in his feature debut by the time saw the light of day.)

Yet while O.C. and Stiggs will deservedly never be mentioned near the top of any Altman ranking of the director’s film (or, if we’re being honest, too close to the middle), there’s nothing else quite like it. Both Daniel H. Jenkins and Neil Barry (O.C. and Stiggs, respectively) make for appealing leads, embodying their characters’ screw-it-all, question everything, respect nothing teenage attitude without making them seem heartless. (That spirit in two lines: “I want you to call me Stiggs. It sounds more ridiculous.”) And for every obvious flaw, there’s some compensating element. A big wedding set piece doesn’t really go anywhere, but it does feature a charming dance sequence between Jenkins and Cynthia Nixon (both of whom would stay in Altman’s orbit for a while). The comedy falls flat in the action finale, but it does feature a bizarre, self-parodying performance from Dennis Hopper as a Vietnam vet for whom the war never ended. Some sections drag, but Altman throws in a winning concert scene from King Sunny Ade. Also featured: Jane Curtin as an inventive alcoholic mom for whom every object can double as a place to hide booze, a supremely chill Martin Mull, Bob Uecker, and a cameo from Hal Phillip Walker (Thomas Hal Phillips), the third-party candidate whose cryptic proclamations filled the background of Nashville.

It’s a film that time has only made more intriguing, thanks to its unmistakable Altman-ness, its undeniable eighties-ness, and the uneasy alliance the film forces between the two. Altman “went after” the ‘80s teen movie, and though the genre barely noticed his attack, the resulting film remains a disjointed but spirited critique of Reagan-era values and a salute to the teen spirit of subversion, even if that subversion took the form of driving around in a suped-up car with monster truck tires on it just to annoy the squares.

The film first came to my attention, years after its release, via my friend Todd Hanson, a gifted writer for The Onion whose pop culture enthusiasms had a way of getting passed from co-worker to co-worker. When I got the chance to speak to Altman, I knew I had to devote at least a few of my previous 20-minute slot to what had by then become an office-wide obsession. “I was attacking the teen mentality of the audience,” he said, “and I just was a little too… Nobody got it.”

Looking back, it might be that not enough tried. At that low ebb of Altman’s commercial fortunes—post-Popeye, pre-Player—he’d become too easy to take for granted and an odd, flawed, but undeniably one-of-a-kind film could be dismissed as just another ‘80s misstep. Maybe it seemed like we’d have Altman movies forever, and the era in which studios might somehow find themselves funding impossible-to-define oddities that doubled as single-finger salutes to the bad taste of their intended audience would never end.

* In an odd case of two geniuses drawing inspiration from an unlikely source, Mann and Carroll’s stories also inspired D.R. and Quinch, an early writing effort from comics great Alan Moore.

[dr-passionate-production]

*magically AU Fairy appears* For the next five asks, all your characters are kids!! *waves wand, bopping Grand Wizard on the head and then disappearing*

Oh dear..

The class exploded into a rainbow colored dust. A few moments passed and the smoke cleared out, revealing 15 toddlers.

Wait 15? That's not right at all! Oh god oh god I already lost a child- Okay okay who's here? There's.. 8 girls, okay okay, so it's one of the boys.

...

Oh.

Oh I am so sorry my child..

M!A: When Tods Attack (0/5)

[kowsdontski1]

Aloha, Olean Kwiatkowskis! This marks the last of the Kwiatkowski Cousin Connections for a while. Time to focus on other branches of the family tree, especially Rothsprack; I’m completely stumped on that one. But first, let me introduce you to my Hawaiian cousins. I’ve got plenty of them, thanks to a cousin named Leo (or Leon, as he told it).

While Cousins in New York experienced a typically white Christmas snuggled warmly at home away from outside temperatures well below freezing, cousins in Hawaii had temperatures right around 80 degrees fahrenheit.  A great day for some Christmas hula. And since the temperature won’t be changing much this weekend, I’m betting plenty more hula is planned for the New Year as well, even if the Hawaii Kwiatkowskis don’t plan to attend.

Michael Thaddeus “Tod” Kwiatkowski, and Philibert Francis “Ski” Kwiatkowski are respectively the oldest and youngest of five children born to Leo Michael Kwiatkowski and his wife Catherine Ku’uleilani Guerreiro in Honolulu. Although they are in my father’s social generation, the three men have never met in person. All five of  Catherine and Leo’s children were born in Hawaii, and Dad had moved from Olean before the cousins from HI visited in 1952.

My first question to both Tod and Ski, was “How did this group of Kwiatkowskis end up in Hawaii?” The answer is pretty simple, really: the U.S. Army. As Tod tells it,

My father joined the Army and was shipped to Honolulu, sometime in 1935, or so. There, he met my mother, Catherine Ku’uleilani Guerreiro of Waialua, Territory of Hawaii. They were married in 1937, I think, and he mustered out of the Army in Honolulu, rather than mustering out in New York.”

Catherine Ku’uleilani Guerreiro and Leon Kwiatkowski as they must have looked when they first met.

All five of Leo and Catherine’s children were born on the “Big Island” (Honolulu). Except for a very short stint in 1952 after Catherine died. She was just 43 years old. It was a very rough time for the family, As Tod tells it,

Circa 1950 or 1951. L-R: Bernadette, Phil (“Ski”), Tod, Noel, and Larry.

We saw our first snowfall in Olean, on October 12, 1952. Because of the burden five children placed on my grandmother and my Aunt Jenny, we all returned to Hawaii sometime in October or November of 1952. That was a tragic and confusing time for five children, ages 14 to 5, and a single Father with no job, and no income. That episode will fill a book. 

Because he was so young at the time. Ski has a more colorful memory of his short time in New York:

Family connections to the mainland U.S. Kwiatkowskis that lived in Olean, N.Y. are very sketchy for me. . .  I was 5 at the time and remember meeting many cousins, uncles and aunts, but most of them faded from memory aside from photographs that we would get from time to time.  I remember “Bu” quite well and my dad’s sister, Aunt Jenny.  My dad’s brother, John and his other sister Helen I also remember.  I remember Olean as a very typical foothill town of East New York state, not a large town, but a quaint one  with all the trappings of a 1950;s town.  I remember going down to the “crick” near the railroad trestle to skip stones in the water and things like that, but for the most part, faded memories.

We stayed about 3 months on that trip as we were planning to live in Olean.  Many obstacles came up, one of which was racial and the others I was too young to remember.  My experiences in St. Augustine Elementary were different than Michael as I was sent home for punching a ninny of a nun because she wanted to whack my hands.  I was having none of that, so I punched her in the stomach.  That was the beginning of a few lickings.

I got a kick out of that last part. My father’s stories of his childhood in Olean are very similar. The family was staunchly Catholic, but that didn’t stop kids from being kids and nuns from doing what nuns did at the time. I went to public school myself, but my father and husband were both raised Catholic, along with several of my friends. All of their stories have a very similar ring to them. One of these days I’ll have to tell the story of the time my husband and his schoolmates spiked the holy water with red Kool-Aid.

A ukulele in the making. By Ski Kwiatkowski

Now that I know the reasons for the Hawaii cousins remaining in Hawaii, it makes sense. By their Hawaiian heritage bestowed by their mother, these Kwiatkowskis are firmly Hawaiian. Hawaii was the last state to join the Union in 1959, long after the children’s return from their last family trip to the mainland. Ski, who is the youngest, has been making traditional Hawaiian woodwork for many years. He even makes ukuleles.

As a mainlander who’s never been to Hawaii, I can only base my knowledge of Hawaiians on what I’ve learned through school and the media. Which isn’t much. Aside from my new-found cousins, Pearl Harbor is always the first thing that comes to mind when thinking of Hawaii, and since their father came to the islands with the U.S. Army, I had to ask.

Ski was very obliging with details.

My dad told it to me that he was home when the attack on Pearl Harbor began.  He was a policeman and we did not have a phone yet so the police department called the neighbor (the contact number) neighbor told him about the attack and to go immediately to the police headquarters.  When he got there, he and one other officer were given a shotgun each and a box of shells and told to report to the area somewhere near an area called Iwilei.  Up the street from them was the OR & L train depot and roundhouse, but they were told to go to the pier and supposedly hold off any Japanese invasion of the harbor with a shotgun apiece, a box of shells and their .38 caliber service revolvers.  Once at the pier my dad recalled a Zero coming in on them and strafing the pier with bullets.  He said that it was close enough that splinters from the wood were hitting them.  It was at that time that he and his partner decided they would be better protected by staging at the OR&L depot, which they did.  There were several more strafing runs in that area and my dad said that he emptied his revolver on one Zero, but knew that it was like shooting spitballs at a tank.

At least he got to shoot at them, which is more than others did.

Tod provided another interesting Hawaiian link to the Olean Kwiatkowskis. It turns out that my cousin Bernie’s father, Bernie, was Leo’s brother, which makes their Cousin Connection chart nearly identical to Bernie’s. Not only that, but it seems that Leo’s brother spent some time in the island as a sergeant in the Army Air Corps while Leo was on the Honolulu police force.

Leo M. Kwiatkowski and his younger brother, Bernard Kwiatkowski c. 1940-1941.

Leo M. Kwiatkowski and his younger brother, Bernard Kwiatkowski c. 1940-1941.

So now I have even more questions for Bernie, Tod, and Ski. I definitely want to ask about “Uncle Bernie’s” Pearl Harbor experience, so I’ll have to plan a new post for next Dec. 7.

Even more curious for me, though, is that all three cousins claim that their grandmother’s maiden name (“Babci Mary“), Conkle, actually derives from the surname Krysztofiak.  Conkle is a Germanic surname, but Krysztofiak is definitely Slavic. So which is it, Conkle or Krystofiak? The geographical boundaries are blurred in Poland and Germany by the rise and fall of the Prussian empire, and I think there may be some answers in the geography. This is going to take a bit of digging, but I’ve got eleven months to do it. It will be fun to see what I come up with.

In the meantime, Happy New Year, and STAY WARM! (Hawaii Cousins can ignore that last part.)

      Cousin Connection #6: Hauʻoli Makahiki Hou (Happy New Year!) Aloha, Olean Kwiatkowskis! This marks the last of the Kwiatkowski Cousin Connections for a while. Time to focus on other branches of the family tree, especially Rothsprack; I'm completely stumped on that one.

[sending-the-message]

The Painted Rock Game by TheRe_Writes

It was July 2011 when the Polk County Rocks game spread to my area. People were painting up rocks, hiding them around and posting photos to the Facebook group set up for it. Essentially this was a big Easter egg hunt that was reaching everywhere from Lakeland to Arbuckle, with some people even finding these rocks all the way in Tampa and Apopka. I was 15 at the time and staying with my mom and her then-new husband Joe for the summer. Usually I liked this because it meant I got to be in Florida, but it also meant that I had to spend time with my younger step-siblings. So when they became obsessed with these painted rocks, I was the one who had to go along with them. Back then I was still in my edgy, Hot Topic mall-rat phase so being out in the sunshine really wasn’t my idea of fun. Neither was babysitting. I couldn’t drive and everywhere was connected by long stretches of highway meaning I couldn’t just go out on my own whenever I wanted, so I got stuck babysitting a lot more than I liked.

I was taking Sarah (aged nine) and Tod (who had just turned seven) to the community swimming pool when they found the first one. A small pebble decorated to look like a bumblebee in the corner of the tennis court. Once they picked it up and read the rules scrawled on the bottom they immediately wanted to find more. I ended up spending the rest of that afternoon being dragged around by two excited kids and taking photos of whatever they pointed at or held up to my face. A ladybug one on a wall, a happy frog by the lake, there was even a Pikachu one in a hole on the golf course. We picked them up and carried them with us until we found places to hide them again, as were the instructions given. By the time we had to go home my legs were hurting from all the rocks stuck in my pockets. At that point I was already sick of walking around, looking along hedgerows and picking up stones but they still weren’t done with the game.

The next day I was woken up by Sarah and Tod tugging my sheets and chanting “Jess! Jess! We want to play the rock game!” I tried putting my head under my pillow and ignoring them until they went away, but my mom came in and told me that “They can’t go around the estate on their own,” and how apparently I needed the exercise and sunlight. Before I could argue back she went ahead and bribed me with “If you do this for them today I’ll drive you to see your friends in Orlando tomorrow.” At that I forced myself awake and grabbed around my closet for a matching set of black shorts and tank top. (I know it’s not the best color for the heat, but my wardrobe was very limited at the time.)

We set out with two grocery bags for the rocks we would keep and the ones we would re-hide, starting on our estate and leading up to the ones neighboring it. The colorful rocks were hidden amongst people’s front lawn ornaments, on top of mail boxes and some were just sitting on the grass. A lot of them had big pictures, mostly in a sloppy kids-art-project style but some were very well done. There was another ladybug, a clown face, and a nicely detailed squid among the rocks we ended up carrying. Tod found a US flag one under a bench and Sarah found one that was just painted green on the pier. Being the “adult” I had to carefully get the ones hidden near bushes or the edges of the woods, because apparently I “liked snakes” and somehow that would prevent them biting me. By about midday we stopped to get sandwiches from the gas station and Tod was all tuckered out. I suggested that we stop and go to the pool or go back home to play Wii games to get out of the heat, but Sarah was determined to stay out.

Tod protested by covering his ears and shaking his head. He was red faced and clearly tired, so I couldn’t drag him around anymore. I tried telling Sarah that “We have to go back for Tod, he can’t play anymore” but she was having none of it. She made an exaggerated pouty face at me and kept insisting that “We don’t have a full bag yet!” meaning “We have to go get more!” It was like a tug-of-war, trying to balance the interests of these two grumpy kids without making one have a tantrum at me. The best compromise I could think of was “Why don’t we go home and count all the rocks we have? Maybe then we can go find some more.”

Tod perked up at the thought of going back home and Sarah finally came around to the idea too, so we finished our lunch and I trudged them both back to mom’s house. As soon as we got in the door Tod waddled to his bedroom, and Sarah was pouring out the bags onto the kitchen table.

Together Sarah and I went through our hoard, separating out what we’d keep and what we wouldn’t while I photographed them all. Eventually we boiled the “Keep” pile down to a small few: a pretty cat, Tod’s flag and a yellow M&M amongst about three others. I considered keeping the squid but knew I’d probably lose it in a drawer anyway. The rest were an odd mix of basic smiley faces, bright patterns, local sports and brand logos along with some that were just scribbles and glitter. One was a crude line drawing of what looked like a spiky-leaf which I’d had to drag out of the reeds with my foot. There were a couple of basic Sharpie-drawn Pentagrams and Super-S doodles (probably done by bored teens) which I ended up skipping on the lake. By the time we had our “Re-Hide” bag full again it was close to 3pm. Joe’s usual curfew for the kids was 5pm so Sarah and I decided we’d just go and hide these ones rather than go properly hunting again.

We promised that we wouldn’t go too far, so we only went around our estate this time. I hid some smaller stones on a hanging bird house and Sarah put a few along the estate fence. Before long we were hiding the last one, a neatly-done Gators logo, on the wall of the community pool area. It was very close to her curfew and Sarah was still reluctant to stop. “Jess, can we find more? Just one more!” she begged, but I had to tell her no. I was too worn out, and mom would be so mad if she wasn’t back. Sweaty and groggy we marched home in time for dinner before both collapsing back into bed, fully drained from walking all day in the heat.

That night I was woken up by a whispering voice saying “Jess, can we find more?” I almost had a heart-attack before jolting awake to see Sarah standing there, fully dressed and waving a Disneyland tote bag at me. “Go to bed!” I groaned. “No more rocks now.” She stamped her foot and pouted at me before shuffling back out of my room. I got back to sleep pretty quickly and hoped the kids would forget about painted rocks game in the morning.

When I woke up at 11am after a good long sleep I thought I’d actually gotten lucky. Tod was watching Nick Jr when I went to make coffee and bacon, and he didn’t seem even remotely interested in doing anything else that day. I sat down on the couch next to Joe to eat my late-breakfast while he played on his tablet and joked about how “You make coffee in this house you make it for everyone.” After yesterday I was thankful for the quiet morning and cared about nothing other than mom’s promise to take me to town. I only got to see Becky and David in summer and I’d been missing them all year. By 12 I was dressed and ready (after putting on a whole rack’s worth of bracelets too) and waiting for mom to get back from Publix to pick me up. It wasn’t until then when I realised I’d not seen or heard anything from Sarah yet. At first I’d just assumed she was with mom, but Joe said she’d just gone on her own that morning. I didn’t want to leave and not know if the kid was okay, so I took a quick look around.

After checking the bathroom and the pool-deck I finally found her in her room. She was still asleep in bed. Her pyjamas were dropped on the floor, and knowing how much mom insisted on a tidy house I picked them up and put them on top of her laundry basket. As I bent down to gather up the strewn clothing my hand closed around something hard in the pocket of her pink stripy sleep shirt. Taking it out, I found another decorated rock.

It was a crappy looking one, and I felt bummed out just looking at the thing. The stone was mostly just scribbled black with some squiggle in the middle filled in yellow. It could’ve been a logo for something, but to me it just looked like a question-mark with a long swirly line drawn through the bottom dot. I didn’t remember seeing this when we were sorting out the rocks we kept. Maybe she’d pocketed it without me noticing. I put it on her desk with the rest of the “Keep” pile before rushing to get my shoes and bag in time for mom getting back. I forgot about Sarah and her silly obsession for the rest of that day, I had friends to hang out with and we didn’t care for kiddie rock-hunts.

Becky’s dad drove me home that evening and I got back in at 5pm again. I thanked him for the ride before stepping in the door and going straight to crash out in front of my laptop. As I got to my room I was met by Sarah, sitting on my bed with her Disneyland bag and playing with those damn rocks. “Can’t you do that in your own room?” I sighed, tossing my own bag onto the desk.

She bit her lip at me and went back to arranging her collection. I stormed over to the bed and began picking up the stones, putting them back into the tote “Go play rocks with Tod or something! Let me have my room.” I thrust her bag back to her and she ran out, looking as if she was trying not to cry. For a few seconds I felt relieved, but then the guilt dawned on me. I really didn’t want her to be upset, and Joe would be so mad at me if he found out! After taking a moment to calm down I crossed over to Sarah’s room and lightly knocked on the door. “Hey Sarah, I’m sorry I yelled at you” I murmured. “Can I look at your cool rocks again?” There was silence for a few seconds before she actually opened the door. The bag had been tipped out on to the rug and a few light-colored smooth stones were clustered up next to her bed.

Originally I hadn’t noticed, but these rocks were new. Mom or Joe must have taken her out for an hour or so to find them. There weren’t as many as we’d found yesterday, and most of them didn’t look that nice either. One was a splodgy potato-face and there was one painted to look like a football, but most of them just had simple marks on them. There was a basic love heart and a waving stick figure, she’d found another spiky-leaf one drawn in red this time. But most were little more than initials and letters done in a straight-lines font on white pebbles. Whoever made these probably didn’t care much. Despite their blandness, Sarah still seemed proud of today’s spoils. “They’re interesting” I humored her, “Would you like me to photograph these too?” She nodded and I went along with her request, uploading the photo to the page afterwards too. I didn’t think it was really worth sharing them but that’s how the game went.

I was able to sleep all night without any over-eager kids waking me up, and the morning was pretty dull. Both Joe and mom were at work so I had another babysitting day. I got myself dressed and ready in time for Tod waking up and asking for cereal. Luckily for me he was usually easily entertained so I could just give him a bowl of bran flakes, some juice and a Spongebob DVD to watch all day. Sarah however was still not up yet and it was my responsibility to make sure she did. Joe was very adamant that his kids kept up a good daily routine even during the times they weren’t at school. I made another tray of juice and cereal which I planned to let Sarah eat in her room, and carried it in for her. I pushed the door open, but she wasn’t there. Leaving the tray on the desk I frantically ripped off the bed covers to find nothing. I tried calling for her and dashing around the house again, but there was still no sign of her. Slipping on some flip-flops I went outside and to my relief, found Sarah sitting on the front drive in her pyjamas, humming to herself. I didn’t need to ask where she’d been as she was playing with more coloured pebbles.

I took a sigh of relief before reprimanding her, “What did Dad tell you about going off on your own?” I scolded. Usually she’d get to angry or sad, instead she merely stared up at me and said “But I want another Yellow Sign.” Not caring for her excuses I firmly reminded her “Your dad said you can’t go out without a grown up! Now get inside and eat your cereal.” Taking hold of her arm I forcefully lead her back into the house. She struggled and tried to run off but I was having none of it. Her bare feet were dirty and the bottoms of her pyjama pants were tatty too. I made her take them off and have a bath after her breakfast which she ate without complaining.

Luckily I managed to get her to sit down and watch TV with her brother, just anything to distract her from this current obsession with rock hunting. The rest of that day went by pretty uneventfully, I just pissed around online and played Sims (or whatever I did back then) in peace for a few hours while the kids entertained themselves. By then I’d gotten a lot of replies from the Facebook group, people liking our photos and saying how glad they were that we’d found their rocks. Very few people were still posting though, so I hoped that meant the game was dying out and Sarah would stop caring soon. Nobody was really responding to any of the plain rocks with the black marks, but I wasn’t surprised.

I made sure to keep checking up on the kids every hour or so to be safe in case Sarah tried to go out again. Much to my relief Sarah didn’t bug me to go back out again, she seemed content to stay in and play with Tod. At one point I caught her showing him her rock collection, getting each one out on the coffee table and giving him a lecture about them (much to his disinterest.) She had the bee and the cat face out when I walked in, but it was when she took out the weird yellow one that Tod decided he’d had enough. He shook his head side to side as his face went red and scrunched up. I had to act fast or else he’d start crying. Desperately looking for a distraction I grabbed the crayon tub and paper pad from the kitchen side saying “Hey, why don’t we sit outside and do some drawing?”

Sarah was reluctant at first, but when I sat Tod down at the table on the pool deck and put down the big crayon tub she came out and joined in. He was happily rushing random colors all over and I really wasn’t surprised that Sarah just drew her rocks. I lazily sketched out some band logos for a little bit too. They weren’t bored, so as far as I cared my job was done. When Joe came home with donuts and chips they both dropped their crayons and ran to the kitchen. Glad to be free, I packed up the art supplies, gathered up the drawings and put them in the kids' rooms. Tod had tried to draw blue-sky green-grass landscapes and I think one was supposed to be the lake with an alligator in it, and Sarah’s were mostly different interpretations of the patterns on her rocks. One page was her whole collection together but the rest were mostly rough recreations of the weird symbols from the boring ones, especially the spiky-leaf and the yellow question-mark. It seemed to be her favourite, but I didn’t understand why. The bee was a lot prettier in my opinion.

With my babysitting officially done for the day I retired to my room like an average bored teen. I stuck my headphones in and made a point of trying to avoid my step-siblings for the rest of the day. My peace was broken at about 4pm when Sarah came stamping into my room demanding that I go outside with her, insisting that “Daddy is too busy and says you’ll take me” Huffily I told her “Oh yeah? Well I’m busy too.” “No you’re not!” she insisted, but I wouldn’t let her have her way. She stormed back out again threatening to “tell her dad” amongst some other mumbling, but she didn’t come back at me again. I could hear her shrieking and arguing at Joe, but he must have taken my side and made her drop the issue because that was the last I heard from either of them until dinner. That night it was heated-up pizza and some salad, which is pretty bland but filling enough. When I got to the table Tod was sat there being served a slice by Joe, and Sarah looked considerably mopey as she stamped her feet all the way to the kitchen followed by mom. She aggressively folded her arms and stuck her bottom lip out as her dad put a big helping of salad and a slice of Classic Margarita on her plate.

“What’s wrong honey-bee?” He asked, “Don’t want pizza?” She shook her head, smushed her face with her hands and only just audibly grumbled “She said I couldn’t bring my special rock.” Joe sighed and said “It’s only while you have dinner, tables are clean and not for dirty rocks.” Sarah opened her mouth to talk back, but mom sat down at the table just in time to interject, “That thing is not coming to the table Sarah. Now eat dinner!” I finished my meal as quickly as possible while Sarah took small, forced bites until she’d eaten enough before dashing back to her room. After one and a half slices of pizza and a small handful of salad (as forced by Joe) she was shuffling away as fast as her little feet could go.

After dinner that evening I settled down into bed and flicked through whatever late-night channels I could get on my bedroom TV. There was rarely anything of interest but sitcom reruns were pretty nice to fall asleep to. I’d just started to properly drift off when Sarah came shuffling in holding a purple purse-bag. “Jess…” she started, sounding as if she was hesitant to talk to me, “can we go looking for rocks again?” I thought she’d forgotten about that dumb game by now. “Are you kidding?” I snapped at her, “It’s nine o clock, get to bed.” She gave me a faux-sad look with her teeth over her bottom lip and wide eyes. “But Jess” she tried again in her wavering tone, “I want another Yellow Sign.” Raising her hands up I saw that, of course, she had a rock in her bag. I didn’t give it a proper look but that black-out scribble made me think it was the one from her desk. She fumbled to get it out but I cut her off, “No more rocks Sarah! Go to bed!” Before she could bother me again I switched off my desk light and threw the duvet over my head. I could make out her muffled complaints of “I gotta go get another one” until mom came in and made her go to bed. There was foot stamping and shouting, a door slammed and I could hear Joe pleading for her to “calm down and go sleep.” The arguing must have gone on for at least half an hour, and it took me a while to settle down and get comfy again.

I switched back through talk shows and teleshopping before finally dozing off. I wasn’t asleep for long though before I was woken up by Mom shaking me and screaming, “We can’t find Sarah! She’s not in the house!” Her face was a mess of tears and bed-hair. Tod was crying and hugging her leg like a leech.At first I thought I was dreaming, but seeing the panic in mom’s eyes let me know this was really happening. Suddenly I was fully awake, in my nightgown and running out into the dry night air. Joe was outside with a flashlight looking for her already. We kept calling out “Sarah!!” but got no answer. Our shouting only managed to wake up the neighbors, and before long they were joining in our frantic search too. I remember the police showing up, two officers got out on the driveway and tried to ask mom and Joe about what had happened. Joe tried to keep calm, but mom was a wreck and unable to speak. I told them about the Polk County Rocks game, and where we might be able to find her. Joe and the neighbors looked all over the golf course, the community pool and the gas station while the police scanned the area around the lake.

She wasn’t found on any of the piers or boat docks, or along the water’s edge. She wasn’t at the tennis courts, or the picnic benches. Our make-shift search party checked all over the three estates to no avail. The regular ambience of cicadas and the rush of cars from the highway was drowned out by sirens and the echoes of people shouting her name. My bare feet were cold on the asphalt and my throat was sore from yelling, but it wasn’t my physical wellbeing that I cared about. I didn’t stop running across the roads and lawns until I was physically collapsing with exhaustion. The sun was coming up by the time Joe had to drag me back inside. She might have fallen in the lake, or wandered into the woods, but we didn’t find Sarah that night.

We posted her photo to all the local Missing Children’s pages, we even made Lost Child flyers which we spent the next few weeks posting in as many store windows as we could. I asked the Polk County Rocks group to look out for her too. There was a wide scale search carried out over the following weeks and she was in all the local papers. Her real mom was even investigated but they still didn’t find her. I can’t stop blaming myself for what happened. Had we gone to the pool that day like we’d set out to she’d not have become obsessed with that silly game. Living at the house in Florida eventually became too much for Joe and mom. About four months later they made plans for divorce meaning that she had to move back in with her sister, and I was stuck with dad in Washington all year from then on. The case for Sarah is still open, but I doubt they’ll find her after all this time. For a good long while I held onto her pretty rock collection, but I think they’re still in a box back at dad’s place now. I made sure to keep all the pretty ones, and the lazy ones too (all except for Tod’s, I let him keep that one.)

Even though I tried to make sure I took them all with me, there was one that I couldn’t find when I was bundling them all together. Her favourite, the one with the yellow-symbol. Sadly the Facebook group closed not long after Sarah went missing so I couldn’t ask who made that rock. I still haven’t found out if that symbol was from anything either. For some reason I feel that it might hold some sort of an answer, but I’m yet to find another one. I was wondering if there’s someone out there who could help me on this. Have you seen the Yellow Sign?

[dr-passionate-production]

Gasps came from the group! While he may have been hoping that the group would settle their differences, this only caused their arguing to escalate. Fingers were starting to be pointed as they tried to find the sole culprit for their luxury to be taken away. The whining from a select few grew louder and became more agitated. 

Gonta was walking to the store when he saw Mantaro along with his classmates. Before he was able to call out to the other he saw the explosion of rainbow dust and ran over, thinking someone had pulled a prank on them. Instead, he was greeted with the toddlers. Not wanting to scare them he waved a little. “U-um.. hi..” -ask-the-freak-of-nature

In a very unnerving unison, all of the toddlers stared directly at Gonta. Their big eyes unintentionally drilled holes into him, mentally turning him into swiss cheese.

One of the small blonde children, seemingly a girl, looked to be intimidated by his size. Their face scrunched up in fear. Small bubbles started to form in the corners of their eyes.

When Tods Attack: (3/5)

@ask-the-freak-of-nature