#Lucky me the pictures were fixed right as I got out of class

[jsprnt]

still being somewhat friends with your ex brings up some jealousy in your relationship

kenan yıldız x reader

A/N: jealous kenan🤌🤌!!! based on this request.

W/C: 1.440

"this one looks better on your feed.." you tell your best friend, scrolling through the pictures you just took of her.

"I know. what would I do without a bestie like you.." she coos, wrapping her arms around your body.

"you'd be stuck with your boyfriend who takes ugly photos.." you chuckle, hugging her back.

"travis can't take pictures for shit. at least kenan takes good pictures of you.." she says, sitting up and fixing her hair.

"I got very lucky.." you beam, grateful for your boyfriend's artistic skills.

"he needs to give travis some tips when he gets here.."

"when does he arrive?" she asks, playing with the frills of your jeans.

"he said he'd be here in ten.." you answer, looking around the house.

your big friend group decided to organize a get together after not being able to meet for a long time. everyone was encouraged to bring their partners, so you didn't hesitate to ask kenan if he would join you.

your boyfriend was an incredibly busy guy, especially with the serie a games starting in a couple days.

but of course, he'd always make time for you.

"hey, y/n can you pass me the chips?"

you look up when you hear a familiar voice, making eye contact with adam.

he was one of your friends, and unfortunately, also your ex.

you didn't even know if you could classify him as an ex, since your relationship lasted a mere month or two, and when both you realized it wasn't going to work out, it ended.

no hard feelings.

well, you could only speak for yourself..

"you want the guac too?" you ask, sitting up to grab the bowl of chips in front of you.

"nah, I like 'em plain.."

you frown at his answer, he must've turned into a crazy person since you broke up, because who enjoys eating plain chips without a dip?

"oh, here.." you slide the bowl over, leaning back into the couch.

you look at your best friend, her face incredibly still. you know, that if you make eye contact with her, you'd both burst out in laughter.

"thanks, y/n.."

you give him a small smile, watching him shove the crispy nachos into his mouth.

"so, where's your boyfriend at?" he mumbles, his mouth unaesthetically full.

"he's coming over in a couple minutes. he's a busy person, you know." you explain, scratching the back of your hand.

you look to your right, silently asking your best friend to break the tension, or save you from the conversation..

"adam, where's your partner? I didn't see you walk in with anyone.."

"yeah, I thought you were dating halle from your finance class?" you question, trying to steer the topic away from your own personal life.

"didn't work out- again.." he sighs, looking directly into your eyes.

you press your lips into a line, shivering, you look at your equally nosy best friend.

"well, it'll work for out for you too eventually. like how I'm with kenan now.."

you try to reassure him, confused when adam suddenly sits up, fixing his posture. his hands move down, and he starts wiping his oily fingers on his jeans.

why did men do nasty things like that?

"what's going to work out eventually?" 

you gasp at the familiar voice, turning around to see kenan behind you.

"you're here.." you beam excitedly, feeling his loving touch from behind. his arm wrapping around your shoulders, as he presses a kiss behind your ear.

"of course I’m here.." he mutters, pulling back when you stand up from the couch to walk around it.

"thank you for coming.." you hug kenan, his strong arms wrapping around you, a little tighter than usual.

"a promise, is a promise.." he mumbles into your ear, kissing your temple. you can feel the soft fabric of his hoodie brush against your cheek. the scent of his musky cologne entering your nose, calming you with its familiar smell.

you hum, feeling his hands trail down your back, a hand touching your lower back.

kenan loved showing his love through touch, but he'd never been a 'pda' person. he always chose to hold your hand or hug you outside the four walls of your shared apartment, so the sudden intimate touches were confusing to you.

not that you would mind, you were in private company, so you'd savor everyone of his touches anyway.

"hello, good to see you.." he tells your best friend, giving her a smile before averting his gaze to adam.

"nice to see you, man.." adam speaks when he notices the look, immediately standing up and walking over.

while you watch your ex walk towards you, you can feel kenan's grip tighten around you. nothing painful, of course, even when not aware, he'd never do anything to hurt you.

he absolutely cherished every second you spent together. whether it was a quick lunch date in between his training sessions, and your university classes or just spending his daily life with you.

never letting you get too cold or too hot. bringing a drink from your favorite café, while you were already sipping on your crappy, watered down, homemade iced coffee. tying your shoelaces without you even realizing they came undone.

at this point, you could request for the urban dictionary to make 'kenan' a synonym for 'gentleman'.

you look up when kenan doesn't greet adam like he usually greets your other friends.

you weren't naive enough to not know why. your boyfriend had long known adam and you had dated briefly, since you didn't feel like it was morally right not to inform him..

of course, kenan had not doubted your loyalty to him. he trusted you, as much as you trusted him.

you couldn't lie and say you were completely fine with still being friends with adam. you'd shared intimate moments together, and going back to that platonic relationship wasn’t something you were 100% comfortable with.

"you arrived pretty late. I guess being a baller is keeping you away from our dear y/n.."

you watch kenan's jaw clench, his jawline getting even sharper as you feel his fingers trace your back.

"I made time, like I'd expect a boyfriend to do.." your boyfriend retorts, his voice steady and firm.

"I would be crazy to lose a person like her.."

your eyes flicker back up at kenan, knowing that jab was obviously about adam and you breaking it off.

"ken.." you call out, patting his chest to get his attention. 

"what is it, baby?" you almost laugh at the voice change. It switches from a rough, deep one to the most honey-soaked tone ever.

"please don't start anything, come on. let's go get some snacks, ‘kay?" you ask, smiling to convince him.

you watch your best friend get pulled away by her boyfriend, it giving you the perfect opportunity to dip.

"okay, that's fine.." your boyfriend agrees, squeezing your hips one more time, before he releases the tension in his jaw. turning around and pulling you away from the frazzled adam.

"jealous boy.." you tease him when he pulls you into a corner, poking his cheek. where his dimples would dent when he’d smile or pull a face.

"I'm not jealous.." he dismisses, reaching up to remove a fallen eyelash from your cheek.

"should I go back and bring adam? ask if he wants a drink?"

"come on. I can have an opinion.."

"that is?" you question, grabbing and popping a grape into your mouth.

"I don't trust the guy for a second, like- what guy befriends his ex?"

"if the ex is as nice as me, I would.." you tease.

"what if I were friend with my ex?" he questions, using elaborate hand movements.

"I would- wait, but this is different, ken. I can't cut him off easily since he's a part of the friend group. it's already kind of awkward between us.."

"awkward? thank goodness.."

you roll your eyes at his happiness, shoving a cracker into his mouth.

"shush, just eat it this, and stop talking.."

"no sharing chips with him, no more.." he hums, chewing on the crunchy snack.

"you saw that?"

"obviously, your friends kept me at the door until I took pictures with them.."

"oh.."

"can we hook him and his ex back up together?"

you scoff, raising a brow. 

"what did I say?"

"stop talking.." he grins, his dimples showing as he looks at you. his brown eyes lighting up in amusement.

"never mind, just give me a kiss.." you say, looking up when he eagerly cups your jaw.

"don't even worry about it .."

[bad268]

Behind the Goal (Pedri X Reader)

Fandom: RPF/FCB

Requested: Yee (ZEP ILY side note tho, what if I wrote for my favorite band people? like idk if anyone wants that but I kinda want to lol)

Warnings: none

POV: Third Person (They/them)

W.C.: 1196

Summary: It started as a harmless prank and ended with a mutual understanding…

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

~~(^Pinterest)

It was not common knowledge, their relationship. One is a well-known midfielder for FC Barcelona and the other is a university student. It was not often that their schedules aligned enough to go out. Most of their dates had been in one of their houses or at the earliest hours of the day. It was not like they were trying to keep it under wraps. It just kind of happened.

One week, everything lined up. Y/n’s classes were virtual due to a campus-wide power outage that could not be fixed in the near future, and Pedri has (almost) back-to-back matches for the next week. Y/n thought this would finally be their opportunity to see Pedri in action and meet his friends. Despite being together for nearly a year, they had not met any of Pedri’s teammates. Could have been a red flag if not for the complicated schedules they all possessed. 

The early morning before the match against Real Madrid was interesting. Y/n woke up early with Pedri, ate breakfast, and worked out with him before starting to attend their classes. Lucky for them, Pedri had left his phone on the charger before he went to shower, and Y/n thought it would be funny to change his lock screen because why not? They took a few silly pictures before going through them and deciding against putting one of the selfies on the lock screen. Instead, they found a cute picture of the two of them together, so they changed the blank screen and put the phone back just as the shower turned off.

Coincidentally, right as Pedri walked out, Y/n had to get on a Zoom call, so they did not need to worry about looking suspicious. Pedri walked up behind them, quietly leaving a kiss on the top of their head as he left for the match, knowing Y/n would meet him there after classes. 

Usually, Pedri would put music on as he drove to the stadium, but in his rush, he decided to just listen to the radio. That being said, he did not look at his phone (no texting and driving in this household) the entire trip. It was not until he got into the locker room and met up with everyone that he even thought to check his phone. However, by the time he thought to check his phone, Gavi already had a hold of it. 

“Oooo who’s this?” Gavi teased, turning the phone to show Pedri the lock screen. Pedri was confused at first because he did not remember changing his lock screen, but there it was, clearly changed. And to a picture of Y/n and him, no less. “Are you seeing someone and haven't told us?”

“Maybe,” Pedri blushed, reaching over to try and grab the phone from Gavi. “Maybe not. Give me the phone.”

“You are!” Gavi gasped in mock offense. “And you’re keeping this from me? What have I done?”

“It’s not you, Gavi,” Pedri laughed as he tried to grab the phone again. “If you give me the phone, I’ll show you more pictures and call them. Or you could wait until after the match and meet them in person like the original plan.”

“Who’s pictures are we looking at? And who are we calling?” A couple of the other players said amongst themselves, overhearing Gavi and Pedri’s conversation.

“Pedri’s significant other that he did not tell us about,” Gavi answered with a glare toward Pedri as he begrudgingly gave the phone back. “You better show us some good pictures.”

“They’re cute,” Fermin commented as he looked over Gavi’s shoulder at the phone. “Why would you hide them from us?”

“Show us some more, man,” Joao laughed, throwing his arm over Pedri’s shoulders as he messed up Pedri’s hair. “I bet you’ve got better pictures if you know what I mean.”

“I bet he would love to show you a million and one pictures, but it’s time for warmups,” Xavi said as he walked up behind the two.

“Oh, saved by the bell,” Gavi chuckled as he bumped shoulders with Pedri. “After the match right?”

“Yeah, the plan was dinner if you want to meet them in person,” Pedri explained as they ran out onto the grass. 

“Team dinner on you? Count me in!” Gavi answered as he ran ahead.

“Not what I meant, but okay,” Pedri grumbled to himself as he followed swiftly after him.

~~

The game was close, ending in Barcelona’s favor 2-1, so the team was ready to celebrate. And it was against their biggest rival no less, so some of them were ready to get steamed. Gavi, on the other hand, just really wanted to know who the secret significant other is.

Despite being at the game, Y/n did not go into the locker room after the win like the other wives and girlfriends of the players. Y/n was not the biggest fan of huge crowds, so they thought it would be best to hang back and meet Pedri at his car when most of the fans had dispersed. Being that they took public transit to the stadium, they did not need to worry about their vehicle. They planned to ride with Pedri to the restaurant and maybe go bar hopping after, depending on the vibe of the team. 

It did not take nearly as long as they thought for the stadium to clear out, and they made their way out to the lot. They had a copy of Pedri’s keys, so they used them to unlock the car before climbing in. Then, they texted Pedri to let him know where they were, and almost immediately, he responded, saying that he was on his way out. Again, it did not take long for Pedri to make his way out of the tunnel and toward the car with Gavi, Fermin, and Joao walking in line with him, almost faster. 

Pedri pushed the guys towards their own cars, saying, “You’ll meet them at the restaurant.” He waited for Gavi to get in his own car since he was the most reluctant to split off before turning and climbing into the driver’s seat. He leaned over the center console and met Y/n in the middle as they kissed.

“Congratulations on the win. I saw that goal you made,” Y/n praised as they rand their fingers up his chest to play with the hair at the nape of his neck. “Did you see my surprise?”

“If you’re talking about changing my background to a picture of us, and subjecting me to the teasing I received from the boys, yes. I saw your surprise,” He sighed before planting a kiss on their nose. “The bright side is that the boys are excited to meet you.”

“The way you say that makes me think there is also bad news,” Y/n trailed off as Pedri started the car and started driving out of the lot. “Tell me what happened.”

“A couple of the guys think you're attractive, so now I need to be watching my back.”

“Well, now you know how I feel with all of your fans.”

~~~~~

© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

[madebyrolo]

Chapter 11

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Series Master list

not proof read/ edited

Tw: none

꩜

It’s Tuesday, the first day of school. Y/n wakes up groaning as she reaches to turn off her alarm. The clock reading 7:00 she groans stretching across her bed trying to adjust to the morning light. After a couple of minutes, she finally gets up sliding her slippers on, and heads to her bathroom.

Flipping the light switch she looks in the mirror judging herself while she grabs her tooth brush applies a small amount of paste and starts brushing. She puts her hair up and out of her face following her skincare routine. When that’s done she heads out the bathroom and sits down at her vanity starting to fix her hair. The night before she put it in a braid knowing they would cause a curl effect in the morning, she took the braid apart and began to brush so it would not be as crazy.

She then grabs her makeup and applies concealer in some areas of her face such as blemishes and her under eyes. She then curls her lashes then adds her voluminous mascara with small eyeliner she did with eyeshadow. She puts a bit a glitter then lipgloss and she’s done. She goes to her closet takes the outfit she picked beforehand and puts it on, it is straight jeans with a cute tank top.

She heads down stairs for a small breakfast consisting in toast and grape jelly, she figured she spotted by the coffee shop before and get her usual matcha latte for good luck, that’s how she met Jacob isn’t it? She checks the time and sees it’s 7:52 so she yells out to her brother she’s living in ten.

She heads back upstairs and puts on her shoes which were Birkenstocks and her backpack. She wuickely made sure she had her things, did a quick touch up and spritz her perfume. She passed by pet parents door and said a quick bye and love you and went down stairs. She grabbed her keys and went to her car. She starts the car waits for her brother, puts on a “Supergrass” CD, and puts on her sunglasses. With her brother arriving on time she hits the road.

It was a somewhat longer trip to the coffee shop due the morning traffic so she was glad she left 20 minutes early. She got herself, her brother and Bella a drink and then she headed to the high school. With her brother telling her the directions she made it on time. She turns into the parking lot, parking beside the familiar orange truck with Bella sitting on the bumper waiting for y/n. She gives her a smile as she parks and turns her car off getting out.

“Morning Bella” she said handing her the drink.

“Oh yes thank you” Bella said eagerly grabbing it.

They enter the school while y/n pulls out her schedule handing it to the girl.

“Alright so you have home ec, then English with me and Edward, calculus and then a gym. You’re lucky ‘cause I had gym first period last year.” She let out a scoff “I’ll take you to home ec right now” she said as they walked the unfamiliar hallways. As they stepped Bella gave her a small tour and told her “the shortcuts”

They soon arrived to the class room. Walking in a Bella spotted one of her friends. She wore pink cat eyeglasses, with bangs falling in front of her face.

“Hey Angela how was your summer?” Bella asked the girl who she now knew as Angela.

“Hey Bella, it was nice. I got a new camera and I went around Washington taking pictures for my portfolio. How was yours?” Angela said. Bella answered but y/n wasn’t listening, she was looking around the class trying to get comfortable and less nervous.

“Y/n? Are you listening?” Bella nudged her with a small laugh

“Oh um, my bad..” y/n shook her head with a small blush creeping up from embarrassment.

“So Bella are you in this class?” Angela asked

“Oh um no, but y/n is. She moved here this summer like I said. I was showing her around ‘cause I knew how I felt to be the new kid” Bella said with a small smile

“Well I’m in this class so she can sit by me. I honest didn’t wanna partner up with anyone but I know y/n can’t be a monster” Angela joked

“Well I better get to class I don’t wanna be late to Calc. I’ll see you guys in English” Bella said before she left

“Alright see ya” “bye Bella”

Y/n finally sat down in the seat beside Angela. Soon the bell ring and everyone was in their seats.

“Alright class welcome to home economics” the teacher started talking but y/n tuned them out. She opened up her bag and got out her mp3 player and earbuds. She put one in and scrolled through her albums selecting the “Souvlaki” by Slowdrive album. She was skipping the songs trying to find a good one to play to set the mood until Angela nudged her getting her attention.

“Y/n?” She asked

“Oh what? Sorry I wasn’t listening” she blushed again

“Yea I can see, we’re doing ice breakers,” she said motioning towards their group of tables.

“Okay I’ll go first” a blonde girl said

“My name is Nia, I’m a sophomore and my favorite color is Pink” Mia then looked beside her to a brunet boy

“My names Alex, Im a senior and my favorite thing to do is listen to music” Chase said. Hearing music made head perk up and to be honest so did his looks. He had shaggy brown hair with black eyes. He had an indie yet emo sense of style, also wearing earbuds.

“My name is Angela and my favorite thing to do is photography,” Angela said

Now it was y/ns turn and she didn’t know what to say but the word favorite gave her a hint so she just said whatever

“My favorite band is Deftones.” she said looking at her mp3 player

“And your name is?” Nia said with a hint of saltiness

“Oh yeah, I’m y/n and a senior. My bad” She gave a small smile with again blush.

“Oh sweet you listen to Deftones? I do too I love them. I went to their concert in April!” Alex said enthusiastically with sparkles in his eyes

“No way! I went in February their show in Chicago. I spent like all my life savings on their stuff” y/n told him

“I went to their Seattle one, I camped all night before the show to get pit tickets. It was one hundred percent worth it, I skipped school for it” he laughed

“Okay guys shh stop being emos.” Nia rolled her eyes and turned to the teacher. Alex gave y/n a small smile with blush now creep up on his face.

“Wait what song are you listening to?” He wisperd

“Altogether by slowdrive” she quietly answered

“No way me too” Alex said showing his screen to y/n at a normal volume earning a shh! from Nia

Soon they started paying attention (ish) to the teacher. She explained the syllabus, classroom expectations , school rules the normal first day stuff. Soon it came to 5 minutes before the bell and they started packing up, putting away the handouts.

“Hey I love your music taste” Alex said to y/n. She looked up to see him standing beside her.

“Oh thanks, you too. I haven’t met someone here with the same love for music like I do” she giggled

“Yeah you mention Chicago, are you new here?”he asked y/n

“Yeah, I moved here this summer. from Chicago of course” she answered

“Oh that’s sick! I want to move to the city, these pine trees aren’t the same as skyscrapers” he gave a small laugh

“Yeah, I miss it but forks has grown on me”

“Ugh I wish I could say the same. It’s nice until it rains” he playfully rolled his eyes.

Soon the bell rings and y/n gets up following Angela out the door.

“What class do you guys got next?” Alex asks and the tree of them stop next to the classroom door

“Oh we have English” Angela answered

“Oh I have Science. I guess maybe I’ll see you around? He said slowing turning to the direction he’s headed

“Yea I’ll see you later. It was nice meeting you Alex”y/n said as they started to walk off

“You’re a cool cat!” He yells halfway down the hall earning giggles from both of the girls.

Y/n and Angela walk in the halls talking and giggling about their last class soon arriving to English.

“Hey guys how was your first class” Bella said as she reached them

“Hey Bella, it was nice. Although there was this bitchy sophomore that sat with us” Angela groaned

“She called me emo, I never felt more offended” y/n said

“You are no were close. Although your music taste can say otherwise” Bella joked

“Hey! It’s versatile I don’t always listen to rock I got some Jayz in there.” Y/n playfully defended herself

“Y/n also made a friend today, he was cute too” anglela nuged y/ns shoulder

“A he? Are we talking boys?” A shorter brunnet girl arrived beside Bella.

“Oh hey. Jessica this is y/n the girl who moved here from Chicago. Y/n this is Jessica” Bella introduced the girls.

“Hey, I love your outfit” y/n complemented the girl

“Oh thanks, the skirt was on sale !” Jessica played with her bottom

“What up lady’s” A blonde boy said as he walked though the door

“Ugh I miss the sun!” Another one said

“Hey guys, So this is Mike and the other is Eric” Bella pointed to the boys “and this is y/n”

“Hey new girl. How you liking forks? I heard you’re from the big city aye? Chicago! The bean!!” The blonde one, Mike joked

“Remember when Bella was new? Aww time flies” Eric said whipping a fake tear

“Hey guys nice to meet you” y/n gave them all a smile.

The five of them sat in the front while Bella sat in the back saving a seat for Edward. He soon walked in right before the bell giving a quick hello and going to the back.

Soon it was the end of class, the same old first day stuff. The group rejoined waiting by the door.

“So you never answered me about the boy” Jessica questioned

“Oh yeah! So last class me and y/n had together, and you know that skater dude Alex? They would totally hitting it off” Angela raised her eyebrows

“First day here and y/ns already getting a boyfriend??!” Jessica joked

“Wait wait- that weird emo dude??” Mike said with a hint of jealousy

“Hey! He’s cool and alt. It’s hot” Angela defended

“Oh wow.” Mike said

“Oh babe not like that.” She said trying to give him a hug as he moved away

Soon the bell rang and they all moved to the hall and headed to the lunch room. The two girls and boys waking together while Edward, Bella, and. y/n walk behind

“That Alex boy. He seems cool, I’ve talked to him a couple of times and he’s the most bearable kid here.” Edward chimed in

“Oh you think so?” Y/n asked

“If Edward compliments anyone then that should say a lot” Bella said

“He’s not one to like people I’ve heard” y/n said

“In a way. It’s just it feels like I’ve seen and heard everything in the books. People seem to be resused. Originality is dead and everyone seems fake but not Alex. He’s cool, he seems real. I like him, I believe you too would seem like a great pair.” Edward said

“Oh wow Edward that was the most I’ve heard you talk” y/n giggled “but you really think that?” She looked up to the pale boy.

“Yes I do. But remember there’s always others. he’s not the only cute guy in the world” Edward said

“Like Paul for example-” Bella said before Edward stoped her

“Anyone for example.” Edward said sternly giving Bella a look.

Before y/n could question the odd behavior they reached the cafeteria. They grabbed their lunch while Edward sat at his own table with his siblings soon arrived. Bella got her tray and said her goodbyes to her other friends joining her boyfriend.

Y/n followed Angela with the rest of the group sitting down and picking at her burger.

-the Cullen table-

“Bella even though I told you about the imprint bond doesn’t mean you should tell y/n,. Edward told his girlfriend

“Yea I know but-”

“No butts Bella, it’s not out job to help her. It’s a ‘wolf thing’ they can handle it themselfs. Besides she just moved here, she doesn’t know a thing about us or them. It would put her in danger.”

“I get it. I see where it got me but i guess its really not my place. She’s friendswith Jake and he can’t really keep his mouth shut so I bet she’ll find out soon.” Bella says taking a sip of her soda “and besides she’s bound to find out eventually, she’s friends with Paul so maybe they’ll even have their own thing without her knowing about the bond.” Bella said hopefully.

—

As y/n finished her lunch she got up to go throw away her trash.

“Hey where’s the -” she was asking before she got cut off

“Y/n!” Alex said coming up from behind

“Better get going, your knight awaits” Jessica said with a wink

“Oh hey Alex” she said walking with him “where do I put my tray?” She asked him

“Oh I’ll take it.” He said grabbing the tray while he walked them towards the dish area

“So I was wondering, do you want to hang out today after school? I was thinking of walking to music store and I thought you would like to come?” He said nervously fluffing his hair

“Oh yea I’ll be down. I got a car, want me to dive us?” Y/n offered

“Yea that would be great. Let me get your number, text me where to meet you after school” he said handing her his phone

“Alright there it is, text me later. I’m gonna head back. See ya.” Y/n said walking away back to her table.

“So what happen?” Jessica asked eagerly

“I think I got a date?”

└────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────┘

Long awaited chapter 11 🧎🏽‍♀️

Chapter 12 will be the date and maybe a run in on Paul? 🙊

Guys I got Covid for the first time in 2024 (the writers lore is about to be insane) so I’ve been too lazy to write this 💋

Sorry for any typos

[scullysexual]

A Jewel Beneath The Moonlight [Rewrite]

@today-in-fic | ao3

Summary: For Mulder, a wealthy English-bred socialite who's had everything given to him since birth, the Titanic is shipping him off to a prison, a life he no longer wishes for or wants. For Scully, an Irish stranger from the lower class, it offers a new life, a future she can truly envision in America. What if the universe put them on the same path to achieve those dreams at the cost of life?

Chapter Four.

“What do you think?” Monica asks, stepping back.

Scully looks at the almost unrecognisable person who stares back at her in the mirror. Monica and her maids had done an incredible job of fixing her up, taking her from the practical, albeit frumpy looking third class girl and changing her into someone who looks just the part. Her hair, which is usually braided or loose, has been twisted and braided, pinned to the top of her head. Monica had touched up the natural curls that hung around her face, wrapping the strands around the curling rod. Dana had winced at the smell and sound of burning hair but Monica assured her it was all worth it.

The dress Monica had found was red and black. The maids had modified it slightly to fit Dana’s slightly smaller frame and it hugged her in all the right places. The dress was tight, constricting, nothing she would ever picture herself wearing again. Then there was the makeup that Monica had applied herself. Her sister, Missy, put makeup on her once for Missy’s wedding; Dana’s face had burned the entire reception and party. The next day, she’d woken with her face red and puffy. Allergic reaction the medical journals had called it. When it is applied this time, Scully waits for the burning sensation but nothing happens.

Now she surveys herself in the mirror. “I look…”

“Perfect,” Monica finishes. The touches up Scully’s hair. “You look the part.”

Scully’s stomach clenches with dread but she wills it away and smiles at Monica.

“Can I offer you some advice?”

“Absolutely.”

“You look the part, now you just have to play the part. It’s all a game to them, a performance. None of it is real.”

Scully nods. She can be the perfect little actress.

“They’ll try to cast you out,” Monica continues and Scully thinks she hears a slight twinge of hatred in her voice. “Claim you aren’t one of them simply because your name isn’t as old as theirs. New money,” She spits the words out like they’re poison. “they call us as if it’s different, as if it doesn’t come from the same bank.”

Dana refrains of telling Monica that she isn’t new money, she’s…no money. Just a simple Irish girl who grew up on a potato farm who got lucky because her brother decided to play poker…who also got lucky. But Monica knows all that. This is Dana’s part to play: new money.

“So you were…poor?” Scully asks intrepidly.

Monica grins. “Oh yeah,” she says. “My parents were immigrants from Mexico. My father hit a gold mine two years ago and suddenly…we weren’t poor anymore. Not that it seems to matter to these people, they still think I don’t belong.”

“I’m sorry.”

Monica smiles sadly. “So I get it. I know what you’re going through. And that’s why I was so disgusted at Phoebe Green earlier. But she’s just jealous.”

“Jealous? Of what?”

Monica gives her a pointed look.

“Of me?” Scully could laugh. How could Phoebe Green be jealous of her.

Monica’s voice drops lower, quieter. “There’s a smart girl under there,” she says covertly. “There’s rumours she used to be quite the book reader when she was younger, and I don’t mean those sappy, romance novels you see them reading, she read real books, factual books.” Monica pauses, letting that sink in.

Dana thinks to her medical journals, their factual writings, designed to educate, the diagrams meant to inform. Missy’s confused look when she picked one up and looked through it, wondering how Dana could be interested in it and Dana’s response; “They’re not supposed to be interesting, they’re supposed to inform.” She thinks of a younger Phoebe doing the same thing, reading through so many medical journals, trying to absorb as much information as possible, like somebody is about to test you on it at a moment’s notice.

“That was until her father found out,” Monica continues, pulling Scully from her thoughts. “He told her she had no business reading such books and when Phoebe said she wanted to go to Oxford he laughed at her and apparently torched their home library not long after, attempting to burn the…” Monica looks for the word. “curiosity out of her. And it worked. She is the perfect example of what that world means. She threw away her potential for fake conversations, for pretty things but there’s a brain in there, Dana and you can’t forget that.”

Scully swallows, nodding. She sees Phoebe in a different light, in a more…dangerous light. That woman was terrifying.

“And…Fox?” Dana says. “Does he know about this?”

Monica shrugs. “I would assume so. It was what endeared her to him, after all.” She smiles knowingly. “He fell for her, you know.”

That shocks her but Scully recovers quickly. “Then what happened?”

Monica picks at the paint on the dresser. “Fox is a…different creature. A Big Foot in the desert, so to speak. He believes the grass is greener on the other side. He wants things he can’t have.” She smiles. At Scully. A chill runs down her spine at all Monica has told her tonight and suddenly, Dana doesn’t want to go. She wants to run away back to third class, to her medical journals, her stupid little brother, turn her back on the door to this world, to Mulder and his endearing smiles, his drawings, his honesty.

But she can’t. She is drawn to this world, to Mulder. They wait for her, he waits for her, his green grass on the other side. Yet the other side is filled with bogs. It is filled with prejudice, with a door slamming in her face. It is the smell of potatoes, of loud, growling, hungry stomachs, a gold cross necklace snatched from her neck, a little boy trying to feed his family, a little girl crying as he tries to take away the last connection to her father. Dana fingers that same gold cross absentmindedly, thinking.

Could that really be greener grass for someone like Mulder?

        When she and Monica finally get downstairs to the dining hall, the others are waiting for them. Mulder’s brooding face lifts up when he sees her.

“Scully!” He unlinks his arm from Phoebe, striding towards her. Scully doesn’t miss the offended look Phoebe gives her.

“We didn’t keep you waiting, did we?” She looks towards Monica. Their conversations kept them longer than they planned. Monica had fell into a panic looking at the time, ushering Scully downstairs as quickly as she could. Her stomach had clenched the whole way down, telling herself just to play the game.

“Not at all.” His eyes roam her body, taking in her appearance. A flush begins spreading through her and suddenly the room is 10 degrees hotter. “You look…”

Scully wants to say Different? Strange? Abnormal?

“Beautiful,” he finally says and Scully beams. She looks towards Monica but the other woman in engaged in conversation with a man Scully doesn’t recognise. She looks around the room. There’s a lot of people she doesn’t recognise and suddenly she feels like a fish out of water, an outcast. Her eyes land back on Mulder, revelling in the familiarity. He is her anchor tonight.

He takes her arm and just as Scully is about to ask about Phoebe, Mulder looks at her, a sorry smile across his face as he drops her arm and moves to back over to Phoebe instead.

She doesn’t miss the woman’s smug smile.

“Miss Scully.”

Scully turns to find Mr Mulder standing next to her. He holds out his arm as an invitation. Scully looks around, looking for Mrs Mulder and finds her holding the arm of another man who smokes a cigarette in his free hand, chatting away to him. Mr Mulder stares at her expectantly and Scully takes it with a smile. This has to be deliberate.

“I must say Miss Reyes has done an excellent job.” His eyes skirt over her but they lack the warmth his son had earlier. “You almost look like one of us.”

Scully is about to reply with her thanks when suddenly Mr Mulder pulls her into him, hard, his nails biting into the skin of her exposed bicep. “Almost,” he repeats with emphasis, lowering his voice as he speaks into her ear. “She hasn’t quite managed to mask the smell of poverty.” He lets go of her arm and Scully glares. Mr Mulder pulls out her seat, smiling at her like nothing had happened, and gestures to it. She sits, finally able to breathe when Mr Mulder walks to his own chair.

She takes a moment to look around the room. A lot of money went into making this place look as grand as it does, from its high ceilings to the massive chandelier in the middle of the room, to even the pristine carpet. Charlie could work for his entire life and still not make up the earrings equivalent to the cost of this room.

She looks to the people seated at the tables, probably unaware of the money they are sitting in. They’ve probably never once given it thought but it’s all Scully can think about.

That is until her eyes fall to a dog that sits in its own chair, eating its own scraps of meat that looks better than what is served downstairs.

Even the dogs eat better than us, Scully thinks with a sickening thought.

Scully looks away and finds herself sitting opposite Mulder and Phoebe. She wishes they were sat next to each other but at least she can look up and see him. Mulder smiles at her, kicking her foot beneath the table and Scully smiles back, reassured as she places her foot on top of his.

His smile drops as he gazes at her and the look in his eyes steals her breathe away. She could be the only person in this room right now.

Scully breaks the eye contact, her eyes falling down to look at the plate and the cutlery that sits either side. Three spoons one side, two forks and a knife the other. Scully stares at it, bewildered and wondering why the need for so many utensils. She’s gotten through life just fine with a spoon and the occasional knife every once in a while.

She feels a nudge against her foot and looks up to see Mulder smiling at her with an amused look on his face, casually lifting up the normal looking fork as if to use it. Scully kicks his foot, unimpressed with his finding enjoyment in this.

Dinner begins and despite Scully’s initial fears the conversation doesn’t gravitate to or about her. They discuss the engagement, of what their lives will be like back in New York again, they gossip about people on the ship, so-and-so being seen with so-and-so whilst married to so-and-so. Scully doesn’t listen much, she eats her serving which is a lot more than she usually eats and plays footsy under the table with Mulder. She’s fine and somewhat happy here, eating decent food and no longer feeling like she’s out of place.

That is until the dreaded words exit Phoebe’s mouth.

“Miss Scully…”

The chatter around the table stops as all eyes fall Scully. She stops the game of footsy she’s playing with Mulder, shifting her own eyes towards Phoebe.

“How are you finding all this?” the girl asks. “Not too overwhelming, I hope.” Her voice is laced with false concern.

Scully looks around, taking in all the faces that have gathered around the table.

She swallows her food before speaking. “It’s not too much different to downstairs, actually,” she says, her eyes moving back to Phoebe. “Better food, though.” It gets a few awkward laughs. Her eyes find Monica who looks away almost disappointingly. Suddenly Scully remembers their cover story, new money and now she’s gone and blew it.

“How is steerage, Miss Scully?” Mrs Mulder asks to the side of her. “I heard the accommodations were well on this ship compared to others.”

Scully shifts in her sit, putting her fork down on the table as she leans forward to see the older woman. There was no getting out of it now.

“Beats the cargo hold on a ferry,” Scully says with a smile. “A lot less rats here, too.” She looks pointedly at Phoebe. The woman seethes.

“Miss Scully is joining us from third class,” Mr Mulder explains to the new people on the table. “She met my son the last night on the back of the ship.”

Scully sits back, cautious of the reactions around her. Some make inquiring faces towards Mr Mulder and Mulder and to each other.

An older man begins to speak. “Do you often find yourself conversing with…” he looks unsurely at Scully. “third class passengers, Fox?”

“Not usually,” Mulder admits and Scully watches with curiosity at how he handles this situation. “Though I would consider doing it again,” he looks to her then. “They are quite interesting people.”

Scully smiles, impressed.

Of course Phoebe has to ruin it.

“How is it that you’re here, Miss Scully?”

You asked me here, you eejit is just on the tip of Scully’s tongue before Phoebe herself saves them both from embarrassment and elaborates.

“I mean, how did you get on the ship with so little money?”

Scully begins to play her own game. These people want to degrade her, drag her down and make a mockery out of her, so be it. She’ll be honest.

“It was my brother, really,” Scully says. “He won the tickets when he won a game of poker. We were on our way home actually and instead we ended up here.”

“And where is home?” another man asks.

“Belfast,” she answers. “Or just outside of it to be exact.”

“Titanic was built in Belfast, wasn’t it?” Mulder asks but it’s clear he already knew the answer.

“It was,” Scully says proudly. “It’s the city’s pride and joy. We don’t have much but least we have Titanic.”

“Do you and your brother travel around together a lot?” Mrs Mulder asks.

“Only recently.” She thinks to Charlie who is probably wondering where is she. Or he’s too drunk to care. “He’s fifteen, see, so he’s only just been allowed out of my mother’s eye. He’s never been one to stay put and has wanted to leave Ireland for a while now. Mam wanted me to watch over him, make sure he didn’t get into trouble and that.”

“Looks like all mothers are the same regardless of class,” Mulder says and Mrs Mulder smiles though it looks like it takes a lot of effort.

“How is Ireland given the, er…circumstances?” somebody asks.

Scully pauses. Her battle-worn country wasn’t doing so well lately.

“It could be better.” she says truthfully.

“They should leave Ireland alone,” Mulder says seriously. The table falls quiet minus some disgruntled grunts. “It’s obvious they don’t want to be under the union, just give up and leave it be.”

Scully sits back in her seat, enamoured with Mulder’s statement.

“Doesn’t work that way, son,” Mr Mulder says.

“Why not?” asks Mulder, sincerely.

Before Mr Mulder can answer, Phoebe cuts in.

“Do we have to talk politics tonight? It grows heavily tiresome.”

It’s that comment that has Scully transported back to her conversation with Monica. A sudden image of a young Phoebe reading about politics comes to mind. She wished she’d asked Monica if the rumours said what Phoebe had been interested in.

Her eyes catch Monica’s who smiles, giving her that knowing look and Scully turns back to Phoebe who is laughing at something the man beside her just said. It was politics she was interested in and a sudden pang of sorrow takes over Scully.

Just like that the conversation drifts to something else, something other than Scully or Ireland to which Scully is grateful for.

Dinner moves on, course after course, full from her firsts Scully declines another and soon grows bored. Mulder is in deep conversation with a man who introduced himself to the table as John Byers, Phoebe talks with the fourth woman who had been on the deck earlier- she is called Heidi, is the same age as Scully, and is pregnant with her second child. Monica has disappeared to another table, Scully can hear her loud laughter to which the other patrons look towards her with disapproving glares. Nobody is paying any attention to her, the novelty of a third class passenger in their midst having worn off. Her mind wanders to downstairs, to the party that is no doubt commencing down there and how much she longs to be there with them not up here with sore ears from the piano music and her head hurting with trying to keep up with these people.

Mulder catches her attention with a tap against her foot as he mouths, You want to go?

Looking around, still nobody paying attention to her, she nods.

“Father,” says Mulder. “I’m going to take Dana back to the gate.”

Mr Mulder looks towards Scully, “Have we tired you out already?”

Beginning to stand, Scully replies, “I’m afraid so.” She turns to Phoebe. “Thank you for the invite, Miss Green. I’ve enjoyed it.”

Phoebe smiles, an act for the people. “My pleasure, Miss Scully.” She turns to Mulder then, grabbing his arm. “You won’t be too long?” she asks.

“I’ll be back before you know it.”

He presses a kiss to the side of her cheek in goodbye and Scully feels her heart twisting painfully at the sight.

The cool air is welcoming, as is the freedom, too. She’d done well, Scully, even with the less-than-appealing questions. He was proud, though he had no right to be.

“So, how did I do?” she asks, as if reading his mind, a habit they had seemed to fall into.

“Amazing,” he says. His eyes roam her body again. God, she looked stunning. Not that she didn’t always but seeing her dressed up like this made him crave more. He would sit through a thousand first class dinners if it meant his view could always be her dressed like this. “You fitted right in.”

She smiles bashfully at the decking. He likes it when she grows shy.

“Did you enjoy it?” Mulder asks. He knows what the answer will be but just out of curiosity really.

Her answer is as expected.

“Does anyone enjoy that?” She giggles to herself and it’s a sound Mulder finds himself wanting to hear again. “I think one night is good enough for me.”

“I couldn’t agree more.” He thinks back to that dinner, to the one pressing matter he’s most anxious for her to hear.

“I meant what I said in there, about Ireland, it should be its own country.”

They stop just outside the third class gate. She looks up at him, searching, woefully. “I’m afraid you’re preaching to the choir.” She looks down then, to the stairs, to where the sounds of a party are escaping through the cracks in the door. It sounds appealing, fun, something Mulder has yet to experience of this ship, save from his meetings with Scully.

“Come down with me,” she says suddenly, her eyes big and asking.

Mulder begins to shake his head. “I- I can’t…” he begins, though he wants to protest. “I promised Phoebe…”

Scully sighs, big and heavy, exasperated. “And how many of those promises have you actually kept?” He blinks at her. She sighs once more, calming herself down and shaking her head. “Whatever. You go back and have fun in there.” She spins, beginning to unlock the gate. Mulder stands there, watching, his heart heavy, his heart telling him to go down there and just have some fucking fun, it’s not going to hurt.

“Scully…” he says, catching her arm and she turns. “Will I be okay down there?”

“They’ll be too drunk to care.”

It’s loud and busy. A band composed of various instruments play in the corner, their music floating around the room, upbeat and celebratory. It’s a celebration of life down here, people dancing with whoever, others who drink, play poker, darts, laugh. It’s alive. There’s no need for talking, no need for language or verbal communication, they communicate through dance and laughs, everything is clear and there are no lies. They’re just people. Just people living.

He sits on a stool, a Guinness beside him and watches Scully dance in circles with a little boy who stared imploringly at her hair, not that Mulder can blame the boy, he too has often found himself captivated with it.

He likes it here, likes how he has this corner to himself and he can just appreciate everything- appreciate Scully more so- how much happier she looks down here. She had excused herself to go change when they got downstairs and now she is back in her usual attire, her hair loose but clipped back from her face, her natural curls mixed in with the curls Monica had made. The makeup had remained, though now it was smeared in places from sweat. She was breathtaking.

His gaze stays on her. He can be a voyeur down here; he can watch her without feeling like he’s intruding or looking at her like a creature of wonder. He never has but when it’s just them, and when she looks back at him, he feels like he is.

The boy yawns and the two stop what they’re doing. She wanders back over to Mulder once she’s sent the boy off, a full smile doing its own dance across her face.

“His name’s Willem,” she says as she picks up his drink and drinks from it. Mulder doesn’t protest, they can share everything if she wants.

“Come dance with me?” she shouts over the noise and Mulder had been distracted with the thought of her saliva on his glass that it had taken a moment for him to process her request.

This he protests.

“No…no…” he says, shaking his head.

Scully rolls her eyes, outstretching his hand. “Come on. I’m sure a rich fella like yourself learned how to dance.”

The truth is, his parents had tried to teach him, put both him and Sam in lessons when they were younger and while Sam had naturally excelled (even though she protested originally) he’d lumbered about like a giant (it got worse when he actually grew into a giant)

“And even if you canna,” Scully continues. “Neither can anybody else here.”

Mulder thinks about that for a second, before looking around the room to see that the ‘dancing’ was really just jumping in time to the music. Somewhat less nervous, he takes her hand and pulls himself up.

His hand naturally gravitates to the dip of her waist, and only then does he become aware of how close they are. They bask in the moment of just being free to touch each other, away from all those who might say otherwise. They can do as they like down here and nobody upstairs would know any different.

The tension is broken when a smile breaks out across Scully’s face. “We’re essentially in a tavern, Mulder,” she tells him. “You don’t have to be so formal.”

Mulder doesn’t feel formal; his tie off, buttons undone, sleeves rolled up (he hadn’t missed Scully’s look when he’d done that) He takes his hand out of hers, missing the feeling of it, as it joins his other one at her waist.

There’s a break in the music and Mulder, nervous once more, leans down towards her.

“I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Scully shrugs, “Just do what everything else does.”

And with that, there’s the change of music. Instantly he spins her and then begins jumping around the room, weaving their way in and out of people who are also doing the same thing. It’s fun, Mulder thinks, dancing is actually fun, he could spend the night doing this if he wanted to.

Time speeds up and he has no idea how long he’s been gone for. They know where he is and who he’s with and Mulder couldn’t care any less. He’s six beers in, ready to spend all of Daddy’s money in one night, and in the middle of an arm-wrestling match with someone he thinks is from Belgium.

He refuses to lose, that competitive schoolboy coming out of him. His opponent seems to be the same. There’s no winnings at the end of this- no money or even a free drink. They play for the fun of it.

Mulder loses and he shakes Mr Belgium’s hand and moves on.

Later in the night when the bar has emptied out, the music stopped playing, losing count of how many beers he’s drank but knowing he’s drank enough for the room to be a wee bit out of focus, he gets into a conversation with an American about baseball. Barely anybody in England really knew what he was talking about half the time.

Scully also listens with drunken rapture and he explains the rules to her with a promise that they will play as soon as the ship docks.

The party slowly comes to an end with those left slowly drifting off to their rooms, the bar closing and the band packing away. Mulder sits back in the corner, slouched against the bench, head down, as the room spins around him.

“Think we need to get you to bed,” he hears Scully say.

Lifting up his head, his stomach lurching slightly, a heavy loopy grin crosses his face as he sees two Scullys in front of him.

“Only if I get to go in yours,” he answers back, too happy and drunk to care about the consequences.

He sees her bite her lip and it’s incredibly attractive.

“Come on,” she says, ignoring his comment and helping him stand up.

It was worth the try.

He tries his best to get himself up the stairs but all he wants to do is shut his eyes a sleep, the world spins and he can feel the ship rocking back and forth on the waves making everything worse and he doesn’t like it. He just wants to curl up next to Scully, she’ll make it all go away.

They get up the stairs and he stumbles against the wall, needing a moment to just breathe in the salty air and hope he doesn’t throw up.

“Jesus Christ, how much have you had to drink?” Scully asks.

“A lot more than I usually do,” Mulder says, shutting his eyes against the spinning and the rocking and the overwhelming urge to just throw up.

He opens his eyes and she’s incredibly close to him, concern littered across her features. He focuses on Scully, wills himself to see just one, to use her as a way to calm his twisting stomach.

But something changes as the two Scullys become one Scully, his Scully and he’s had so much fun tonight then he can remember having, he wants this fun for the rest of his life.

He moves forward, ready to capture it, to take that fun and make it stay, make it never go away.

But her hand falls to his chest and all she needs to say is one name.

“Phoebe…”

It sobers him up. Or he sobers himself up. He nods slowly, bringing himself to full height. Phoebe, he thinks over and over again. Phoebe doesn’t deserve this.

Content that he now isn’t going to throw up, or pass out, or whatever Scully moves away from him, taking her hand off his chest and he immediately misses the contact.

Phoebe…Phoebe…Phoebe…

“Goodnight, Mr Mulder,” Scully says, she opens the gate, allowing him to leave.

And Mulder goes, against everything he goes, back to Phoebe, back to his life.

He makes sure to watch Scully go back down the stairs, however, until she disappears from sight.

“Goodnight, Miss Scully,” he mutters to the space she’s left behind.

With a sigh, and a hand rubbing his face, Mulder prepares to leave it all behind and savour the fun he’s had, the world Scully’s opened up to him. Just as he’s about to walk, a voice stops him.

“Had a fun night, Mulder?”

And Mulder’s blood turns cold.

[sosos-adventures]

Ha Giang loop day 3:

Waking up that day made me realize that this was the last day of the motorbike tour. And it made me a but sad. Never have I haver thought that a motorbike trip could be that much fun. So after breakfast we gor ready to leave to the final destination of our trip. A hidden cave. And let me just say that was an adventure. The other tour guides do not bribg anyone there. Why? Because it is way off the main road and it gets super steep and narrow. So after a 20min ride in that style we arrived at a little hut where an old guy was living. He gave us some plastic slippers and wearing these we started our little adventure. It was a very muddy and slippery path and our easyriders made fun of how bad we were hiking.. but to be fair they are used to doing this in these slippers. At some point we took them off and walked barefoot. My easyrider hat to hold my hand most of the way because it was extremely slippery.

WARNING!!!!!!

If you dont like feet, dont look at the picture.. this is how the slippers looked like. Not really the best option for a hike:

And at some point my sportspants got stuck in a branch and got ripped. So now I need to figure out how to sew this back together. Thank god my mom gave me a sewing class for my birthday. But all of this was worth the little hike. We arrived at a really cute cave with lots of light coming through. We got some pictures but it does not look as cool as it did in real life.

And now to the "fun" part of that day.. because it would be boring if everything just would go smootly right? On our way back to the motorbikes I gor bitten in my foot by something in the water. It started to burn a lot and I gor scared that it mighr have been a snake or so.. Naema told me that there are no poisonous snakes or spiders around and that it probably just was an insect.. our easyriders didnt really understand what I was saying so I panicked for a moment.. but with lots of cold water it got better. And then we headed back. And right when we wanted to leave Naemas easyrider told us that her motorbike had a flat tire.. so they tried to fix it but couldnt. So she drove away and my easyrider told us to get on the bike.. the 3 of us. Apparently there wasnt another spot to out all of our feet on so I was sitting behind the easyrider and Naema was behind me.. and I had my feet on the thingies while I was holding Naemas legs up in the air.. that was an intense workout for about 25 minutes.. and not on a main road.. it was the way back through the forest/coubtryside with the narrow steep roads.. what an adventure.

When we were back at the main road we had to get off and he left to find the other easyrider. And about 15min later he picked us up again and drove us to a repair service. About 20min later we were abel to get back on the road again :) actually such a fun way to end this trip.

When we arrived back at the hostel we were again the only tourists there. I dont know how we managed to do that. But the owner was super friendly and gave us the option to take a shower and get ready for our night trip to CatBa.

Before taking the bus we decided ro check out the restaurant of Naemas easyrider and support her business. Her Restaurant seemed to be her living room that had a front area with a kitchen and some tables. We sat down waited for her to prepare us some soup. Next to me there were 2 cats. A baby cat that was walking around everywhere and even jumped on our table. And then another cat that was chained to another table barely able to move. I felt so bad.. It broke my heart to have to see this.

But talking about nicer things: oue busride.. ao there was no good bus conpany driving to the island CatBa. And we just decided to let our hostel guide book us 2 tickets for a night bus sleeper. We thought it would be without a cabin.. appafently it doesnt matter what you book. You will always end up in a different bus. And ww gor so lucky. It was a similar bus to last time. So we gad our own cabin to sleep in. And it was also the only company that goes directly to CatBa. Usually the buses run through Hanoi, then you change and at the port you change again.. so we gor extremely lucky :)

So whenever you take a sleeper bjs in Vietnam be prepared that kts not gonna be the bus you booked. You can get really lucky or not..

[kos-mos]

Gee Shion how come your mom lets you have 3 girlfriends

[multifandhoem]

server collab || ii

Server Collab from the Haikyuu HQ server with the prompt: “Guess I‘ll just have to cum inside you.“

The masterlist for the whole collab is here!

Genre: fluff, smut

Warnings: slight SPOILER (it‘s really really small), smut obviously, little bit of public stuff if you count it as such, slight breeding kink, wedding sex, lot‘s of fluff

Word count: 3292

“I still remember when Iwa-chan told me, how he embarrassed himself in front of a cute girl and hoped he would never see her again to not relive the existential dread he felt at that moment. And then he told me he met her again and she laughed over the mishap and they were going to get coffee next week.”

-*-*-*-*-*-*

“I am so sorry.” His face was red, head bowed down in embarrassment, but you could still see it at the tip of his ears.

“It’s okay, it wasn’t like you were a stalker or something.” You were giggling a bit at the state he was in. “On top of that it is kinda my fault, I should’ve closed the curtains or something.” He slowly raised himself again, face still scrunched up in discomfort. He really looked like he was in horrendous pain and it was kinda your fault. “Please don’t beat yourself up over it. I’ll treat you to coffee, to make you feel better, when are you free?”

Maybe the fact that he was a looker made you act a bit more open towards him than usual, but you genuinely felt bad for him. He was obviously beating himself up over that accident a couple of days ago.

You had realised fast that you could look from your window right into the room on the other side of the street, which was why you invested in curtains pretty early. But apparently, you had forgotten to close them this time, so when you turned around shirtless and made eye contact with a man, you were both equally surprised. He looked mortified and you couldn’t even blink when he suddenly dropped to the floor, now hidden from your wide eyes.

Your body reacted, even though he probably couldn’t see you anymore, shielding your breasts with one arm, the other hastily closing the curtains. After the initial shock wore off you couldn’t help but giggle a bit. Why did he just drop to the floor? He could’ve turned around or something.

-*-*-*-*-*-*

Next to you, Hajime buried his face in his hands, but the large grin that had adorned his face for the whole evening was still there. Tooru waited a bit until the laughter calmed down until he continued.

“When I came back from Argentina for a visit she was already his girlfriend of five months. And when I saw Iwa-chan I knew that she would probably stick around for longer. You know, Iwa-chan is a very violent person-“ “Only towards shitty people!” You knew he couldn’t have let that jab just go by, but Tooru professionally ignored him.

“but with her, he was very soft, always touching her in some way. Sometimes touching too much. Don’t think we forgot the trip to the cabin!” He scoldingly wiggled his finger towards you, accompanied by Makki’s and Mattsun’s affirming but still scandalised shouts.

-*-*-*-*-*-*

“We gotta be quick, Haji.” His lips were hot on your collarbones, fingers already dipping under your shirt, quickly pulling it over your head. “I know, they will wonder where we are.”

You had excused yourself for a second from the movie the others had put on. It was the first time this day where there weren’t two other people in the room with you, everybody being huddled in the living room of the small cabin where you resided for the weekend. With two bedrooms shared between the six of you and one big room that functioned as kitchen, living and dining room, there was never space for some alone time, which you were desperate to have after your boyfriend strutted around you shirtless the whole day. It should be illegal for someone as fine as he was to do such things.

Foreplay had to be postponed for the next time, you had little time until the others would grow suspicious. “No need, I can take you.”

You pulled his fingers out of your entrance, desperate to just feel his cock in you. He chuckled at your eagerness, pushing his sweatpants down until his cock sprung free, already hard and leaking. Apparently, you weren’t the only sexually frustrated one.

“Fuck,” you breathed out when he buried himself in you with one stroke.

“Quiet, baby.” His lips found yours stifling your small moans as he began moving his hips.

Breathless gasped and small moans soon filled the room, occasionally accompanied by the sound of skin slapping, when Hajime couldn’t stop his hips before they met yours. “I’m close,” you whimpered as he began rubbing your clit and he shot you a breathless smile and pressed a small kiss to your lips. “Bite something when you come,” he said quietly, thrusts becoming a bit more erratic.

“Disgusting!” Loud banging on the door interrupted you and Hajime let out a string of curses. “If you already know then don’t go interrupting, Shittykawa!” Not having to hide anymore his hips finally snapped into yours, using the full capacity of his strength to make you moan against his shoulder.

Unfortunately, the orgasm you experienced didn’t lessen the embarrassment when you faced the others again.

-*-*-*-*-*-*

It was your turn to hang your head in shame, trying not to meet your parents’ eyes, who were seated next to you. Or worse, Hajime’s parents.

Tooru chuckled at your misery, before continuing.

“To be honest, I wasn’t that surprised when Iwa-chan called me and told me he would send me pictures of rings and I should help him decide. He obviously forgot timezones since it was 2am for me and I first thought somebody had died, but after promising to make me best man I obviously forgave him.” The guests laughed again and Tooru took a well-rehearsed break.

“I don’t think I have seen Iwa-chan as nervous as when he was rehearsing his proposal through me via Skype. I told him it was good, even though he was a stammering mess. But the thing about those two over there is that they calm each other down. So I knew, when the moment would come, everything would go swimmingly. I saw the way they looked at each other, there was no way she would say no.”

-*-*-*-*-*-*

“What are you planning?” You were chuckling, when Hajime lead you through the small house on the outskirts of Tokyo you two had purchased together when it was safe that he was staying in Japan with his work. “Let me surprise you, woman, and stop asking.” You could hear the amusement in his voice and it made your heart bloom. After all these years together he still made you feel like you were going on your first date. And he probably always would.

“Small step, be careful.”

You felt the ground changing from the hardwood floor to a rougher and colder one, showing you that you were now outside on the small terrace. You didn’t have to wonder for long, what he was planning when he carefully pulled the blindfold off your face. The first thing you saw was him.

But it was enough. He was smiling at you, his eyes radiating love. You couldn’t help but snaking your arms around his neck, to press a kiss to his lips. “You look so handsome. I love you.”

Hajime in a suit was something you had the pleasure of seeing a couple of times, but it still caught you off guard how someone could look this good.

“You haven’t even looked around, idiot,” He chuckled but still laid his arms around you to tug you towards him to kiss you again. After that he still forced you to turn around, to take a look at what he conjured in the last couple of hours.

The small garden you had behind your house was completely transformed, fairy lights making the faint evening glow even more magical.

“It’s beautiful.” The words were soft, Hajime wouldn’t have heard them if he wasn’t standing this close to you. “All for you, baby. I love you. I just thought, maybe we could sit on the blanket, maybe drink a bit of wine and just talk, you know?” His voice was laced with nervousness, even if he wasn’t even sure why. He knew you would like what he did. He went through your Pinterest boards and they were loaded with fairy lights, clinking classes, kisses shared under the faint glow. “That sounds perfect. What’s the occasion? I haven’t forgotten anything, right?” He laughed out loud at your nervousness. “No, babe, you haven’t. I just wanted to do something for you.”

His smile was so pure, filled with raw emotion, you had to kiss him again, putting as much passion as possible into the kiss. “Thank you, Hajime. I love you so much. I can’t believe I got so lucky.”

Your eyes were a bit wetter than usual and you hastily blinked the tears away, smiling at your boyfriend, ready to have a magical evening.

He really had everything prepared. Next to the blanket, a small cooler with a bottle of rosé laid, together with two glasses for you. His phone played soft instrumental music in the background, as you settled yourself against his chest, occasionally sipping at your wine, reminiscing about the past years, wishing for the future ones.

“Hey, move for a second, my leg’s fallen asleep.” A small tug of his leg under you made you sit up, while he fixed his posture, both of you now sitting upright in front of each other.

“Sorry, about that. Do you want to stand up for a bit to move it?” His eyes twinkled with amusement as he tugged you back down when you already wanted to stand up.

A shaky breath escaped him. So this was it. “Y/N, baby, I love you. So much, you can’t even imagine. You’ve been with me for the past couple of years and I honestly can’t wait for the future, if you’re by my side.” He paused for a second, hand slipping into his pocket. “Hajime.” Tears were already welling up in your eyes before he even managed to pull the ring out of his pocket, that he and Tooru had chosen so diligently a couple months prior.

“Will you marry me?”

-*-*-*-*-*-*

“Those two, right there, are a great couple if I’ve ever seen one. I actually can’t imagine a better partner for my Iwa-chan. Hajime. I’ve seen you grow up. I’ve been growing up alongside you and, dare I say, we’ve both become pretty great.” Tooru chuckled a bit, but everyone could hear his voice wavering, as his eyes were fixated on his best friend.

“I can’t express how happy I am, to still have you in my life, to now seeing you maturing into this great man who is inspiring others in everything he does. Seeing you enter this new part of your life, with this great woman in my life warms my heart. And you deserve nothing less. A toast to you. A toast to your future, Mr. and Mrs. Iwaizumi.” He raised his glass to you, a big smile on his face.

If he weren’t sitting right across from you, you would’ve missed the small tears rolling down his face. The guests around you all raised their glasses to towards you, everyone touched by Tooru’s speech.

But nobody came close to Hajime, who was clenching your hand in his’ tightly, tears welling up in his eyes, before he strode over to his friend, tightly embracing him.

You couldn’t hear what words were exchanged as tears fell and people smiled at the pair. Every guest at your wedding knew about Hajime and Tooru. The best friends, the best partners, who have been with each other since they were about five years old. Who only see each other every couple of months, partners technically becoming rivals.

When your husband came back to you his eyes were puffy, some tears still escaping, but the happiest smile on his face. Tooru hugged you too, wishing you good luck for your future, making a small joke about becoming an uncle again and telling you, once again, to take care of his best friend, his brother.

“I’m so happy to be your wife.” Hajime kissed you at your words but you still knew that he was equally as happy as you were. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily now,” you joked, relishing in the laughter that escaped him.

“As if I would ever want that. I’m going to put some kids in you as soon as possible. And then we have a little family. Maybe even a big family. Whatever you want.” He kissed you again and you couldn’t help but smile at the picture of him with kids in your head. More importantly, your kids. “About that.” You leaned into his side, grateful for the minutes you had at the edge of the room. “I’ve been thinking, maybe stopping my birth control? I mean we don’t have to start trying and stuff, but we’re married now and we’ve been together for a while, and we talked about it already, and-“ You were cut off with a passionate kiss, Hajime even dipping you slightly as he practically devoured you.

“Do you mean that? Do you really mean that?” You could only nod, a wide grin on your lips as you cupped his face in your hands to bring his mouth to yours again. “Fuck, I love you. I can’t wait to fuck you today.” Heat shot through your stomach at his words and his kisses did nothing to soothe it.

“Hajime.” You really didn’t intend for his name to sound like such a whimper. But when he growled against your lips you knew you were done for. “The bridal room. Where I got ready. Let’s go.”

You felt like a schoolgirl sneaking around again, when you were rushing through the halls of the venue, hand in hand with your new husband, giggling around, until you finally closed the door behind you, being pressed against the same one in an instant, a breathless Hajime resting his forehead against yours.

You were whispering ’I love you’s to each other for the probably thousandths time this day, but it wasn’t like you were growing tired of it anytime soon. “You gotta be careful about the dress, I don’t wanna have cum stains somewhere,” you reminded him as he was flicking up your skirt, already sinking to his knees.

“Guess I’ll just have to cum inside you.” You giggled in excitement at his statement, soon leading into a moan, when he buried his face between your lower lips, thong pulled to the side, his tongue expertly doing all the things he found out about you the years before.

“Fuck, Hajime.” Your fingers thread themselves in his hair, tugging him closer.

He took one of your legs in his hand, tugging it over his shoulder and digging even deeper between your legs, using the fingers of his other hand as well, to insert two of them into your dripping cunt. “Haji, I’m coming,” you whimpered, clamping onto him.

“Wait for my cock.” The years of never neglected training came in handy, when he stood up, with you in his arms, to seat you on the small table, that was probably just in the room for decorating purposes. You shrieked a bit at how fast everything was happening, but you kind of agreed with him.

The first time you should come as husband and wife should be with him deep inside you.

He dropped his suit pants to his ankles and you could feel yourself clench with excitement. “Ready, baby?”

“Yes, please, Haji.” You pulled him towards you again to connect your lips, moaning into his mouth when he rubbed his dick up and down your folds, coating himself in your arousal.

It’s weird to explain what you felt the moment he pushed himself inside you. You had sex lots of times. But in that moment you felt more complete than you ever did.

You stayed like that for a couple of seconds, connected in the most intimate way possible, before his hips snapped back and into you again, eliciting a moan of both of you.

“Honestly, fucking you in your wedding dress is hot as fuck.” He laughed breathlessly, kissing you again, all while not halting his thrusts.

“Think about me pregnant with your kids,” you purred in his ear and squeaked in delight when his next thrust was harder than before.

“Don’t get me started. You’re going to look so good pregnant. All round and cozy.” His speed grew more erratic and you knew he would come soon.

“Fuck, we gonna start soon, right?” Your fingers clenched in his shirt, pushing him closer to you, chasing your own high.

“We’re starting right now, baby.” He kissed you again, hand moving down to rub your clit again, chuckling at the little whimpers you let out.

“Haji-“ You didn’t need to say more, he already knew, what you wanted to tell him.

“Go on, baby.” You kissed again, moans mixing in your mouths, as his tongue caressed yours, the slight taste of your juices still left on them. Every time his cock hit that one part you had to suppress a small scream, only slightly moaning in your husband's mouth.

“Can’t wait for tonight. Gonna fill you- ah- up again and again. And then you can be as loud as you want. Fuck. Gonna take my time with you.”

The filth he muttered against your lips only made you clench down harder onto his cock, feeling your high approaching rapidly. It was him coming, his cum spurting into you, which finally sent you over the edge, legs wrapping around him, bringing him even closer to your body, completely engulfing him, dead set on never letting him go.

Heavy breathing filled the room, as you both came down from your high. Small kisses were being exchanged, I love you’s were mumbled. But it was still perfect.

“I’m already anticipating tonight,” you mumbled, slightly exhausted due to moaning so much, making him chuckle, while his hands calmingly rubbed up and down your sides.

When he pulled out of you, you moaned again at the feeling of his cum slowly dribbling out of you.

“This looks so good. You look so good.” Hajime’s eyes were focused on the spot between your legs, fingers twitching to push it back inside.

“Don’t let it go on the dress!” You shrieked, chuckling at the way he darted to get a paper towel, carefully wiping you down.

“You alright, baby?” He helped you down from the table after pushing your thong back in place and fixing up his suit pants.

“Yeah. I love you. You made me the happiest woman alive, today, you know that?” The smile he threw your way at your words made your heart bloom. You were so in love with this man.

“Now, brace yourself for the comments.” You intertwined your fingers again, going back down the hallways to rejoin your guests at your reception. “You think somebody noticed something?” Your hands grew sweaty at the thought. Hopefully, nobody suspected a thing. Especially not his parents. Or worse, the grandparents!

“Tooru will have noticed for sure. You know how he is. If we’re lucky he hasn’t told Makki or Mattsun.” Hajime seemed way to relaxed at the thought, only shrugging his shoulders, ditching your hand to throw his arm around your shoulder and pull you into his side.

“I love you.” He pressed a kiss to your temple and you could feel he was smiling.

“I love you, too.”

No matter what was going to happen once you got back, this was still the best day of your life.

[study-coffee-chicago]

Stupid Game...But They’re All in High School This Time AU (A Halstead Brothers + Halstead Sister Imagine)

Trigger warning for very graphic attempted sexual assault

"What are the rules?" Jay asked you as you double-checked your backpack to make sure you had everything for the first day of your freshman year of high school.

You sighed and zipped up your backpack. Your two older brothers, Jay a junior, and Will a senior, had already gone over and over this with you. "No spaghetti straps, no backpacks in class--"

"Not written school rules," Jay told you, abruptly cutting you off. "Unwritten school rules."

"Oh," you said as Will entered the living room, holding his car keys in his hand. "Walk on the right side of the hallways, always remember your locker combination or write it somewhere so you will remember it after long breaks, and no talking to the varsity football players unless it's Adam, Kevin, or Kelly because all the rest of them are absolute douchebags."

"There it is," Jay said and grabbed onto the handle of your backpack. "And if someone does this?" He tugged hard and you flew backward.

"Turn around and swing," you told him and quickly regained your balance once he let go.

"Jesus, Jay," Will said and smacked Jay upside the head, resulting in Jay letting out an ow in response. "Don't scare the poor girl. No one's gonna do that. It only happens in the movies." He turned back to you. "Don't listen to him."

"So, all that unwritten rules stuff I can just forget?" you asked.

"No, that was all legit. Just the backpack tug thing was a lie. Now let's go before--"

"Will, Jay, Y/N!" The three of you groaned when you heard your mom's voice calling you and then stepping into the living room. "Take off your backpacks and go on the front porch."

The three of you groaned again.

"Mom," Jay whined. "Do you we have to take a first day of school picture every single year?"

"Yes. And it's your brother's first day of senior year and your sister's first day of high school in general. So, get out on the porch and quit complaining. The faster I take this picture, the faster the three of you can leave."

You all grumbled and then went out on the porch to take a picture. Even though it was early September in Chicago, it was sweltering hot out. You thanked your lucky stars that Will's car had working AC because you knew that some of your friend's older siblings didn't have working AC in their cars and they always complained about how hot it was on the ride to and from school. But, it was better than taking the bus.

Once you had finished taking the pictures (and Jay pulled your hair in one of them so Will told Jay he has to sit in the backseat on the way to school and you got the passenger seat), you got in Will's car.

***

"So, meet you right here after school?" you asked Will when you entered the high school through the double doors of the main entrance.

"Yup. Jay, you got a ride home from soccer practice?" Will asked.

"Yeah. Adam's dropping me off at home. But I swear to God if I have to sit in the backseat one more time--"

"Give it a rest. I could've stepped on your foot, but I figured you'd need it for soccer. So, I let you off easy."

"Whatever," Jay mumbled.

You started to walk towards the freshman hallway and wondered why Jay and Will were still walking with you when you passed the junior and senior lockers. But, then you saw a huge group of varsity football players in the long hallway between the sophomore and freshman hallways, pointing at girls they thought got prettier or skinnier over the summer or new freshman girls for them to hit on or have a one night fling with.

"I'm gonna need to tell Kelly to keep his boys in line," Jay said to Will.

"No shit," Will replied.

"Don't you creeps have anything better to do?" Jay yelled at them. "And, I see at least three of you who are eighteen, so I'd recommend you stop ogling at minors and get back to watching tapes or something so we can actually make it to the playoffs this year."

"And what are you--" a football player who was obviously new on varsity stepped forward and started to say, but another one pulled him back.

"Dude, he's stronger than he looks and they're both best friends with Severide. So, shut the fuck up," he told the new varsity player.

"Yeah, listen to your friend," Will said. "C'mon, Y/N, just keep walking."

You did as he told you and shook off the weird encounter.

"They stop after homecoming," Will told you as he took a piece of paper from you and looked at what locker number you had.

"What do you mean after homecoming?" you asked.

Jay and Will shared a look. They had never told you about the game the football players had from late September/early October until homecoming which was usually mid-October/late October.

"We'll explain later," Will said. You walked a few more steps until you found your locker.

Next to you, there was a girl with blond hair who was wearing a flannel and jeans and brown combat boots who was helping a freshman with their locker as well.

"Alright," Will said. "So, this is your combination. Don't feel bad if you forget it after Christmas or spring break. Everyone goes to the office to ask for their combo when they get back, so don't feel embarrassed about it."

Will showed you how to unlock your locker, but it didn't budge. He tried it again. Nothing. Then, he let Jay have a go at it. Again, nothing.

"Need help?" the blond next to you asked. She was now done helping the other freshman with their locker.

Jay opened his mouth to tell her no, but you said yes faster than he could answer.

Will handed her the paper with the combination and she tried it. Nothing.

She looked down at another paper she was holding. "Ah, I know why this one isn't working. It's on the flagged list."

"The flagged list?" you asked.

"Yeah. They didn't have time to fix  some of the lockers during the summer, but they'll be getting to them this weekend, so you should only have to deal with it being crappy like this the first week," she answered.

She tried your combination again, pushed up on the lock, and then kicked the bottom of the locker.

It opened.

"Upton!" A teacher yelled. "No kicking lockers!"

"This one was flagged!" she yelled back. "Only way to get it to open!"

"Fine. I guess it's okay for this week." The teacher narrowed his eyes. "Halstead."

"Mr. Williams," Jay said and then turned back and rolled his eyes.

"What's up with him?" you asked Will.

"Yeah, Jay may or not have fired spitballs at Mr. Williams freshman year," Will answered.

"That was you?" the girl asked. "I remembered hearing that a soccer player did it, but I never got the name. Guess now I know it was you, Jay."

"Yes, it was me, Hailey." So, this girl's name was Hailey.

"Wait, you two know each other?" you asked.

"We had what, an English class together last year?" Jay asked.

"Yeah, first semester because then I got put in the honors class," Hailey said.

"That class always seemed so much more for than the normal class," Jay mused.

"Too bad you can't write papers for shit," Will told his little brother.

"Shut up," Jay groaned.

Will looked up at one of the digital clocks in the hallway. "We should get going," he said. "We've only got fifteen minutes until we have to be in homeroom."

"Good luck, fresh meat," Jay joked and you rolled your eyes as your two older brothers walked off to their wing of the school that housed their lockers.

"Want some help putting your things in here?" Hailey asked. "I have a pass to get to class half an hour late since I'm on student council and helping you guys out."

"Uh, sure, since you're here. Mind if I close my locker and then try opening it myself?" you asked.

"Go for it."

You closed your locker and then did the exact same thing she did to get your locker open, including the kick. It opened on your first try.

"Perfect!" Hailey said. You unzipped your backpack and you and Hailey stooped down to grab folders, binders, and notebooks out of it. "I'm sorry, I never actually introduced myself. I'm Hailey Upton."

"Y/N Halstead," you replied. "Those two doofuses who just left are my brothers, Jay and Will, seems like you already knew Jay, though."

"I mean, I don't really know him. I guess I know of him if that makes sense."

"Makes total sense."

The two of you continued to put stuff in your locker until everything was in there, just in time for the five-minute bell to ring.

You looked at your schedule. "You don't happen to know where Mr. V's room is, do you? My brothers told me it's not in the freshman or sophomore halls."

"Oh, yeah. You just go down the connecting hallway and past the junior and senior lockers and then you'll see-- you know what, I'll walk you there. It's kind of hard to find."

"Thank you."

"No problem. We've all been freshmen before."

***

Hailey entered her AP biology class just as the late bell rang. She took the first empty seat she saw...which ended up being next to none other than Will Halstead.

"Hey," Hailey said. "This seat wasn't saved, was it?"

"No," Will replied. "It's yours now." He looked at Hailey. "You were the one who helped my sister with her locker this morning, weren't you?"

"Yeah, I'm Hailey."

"Will," he told her.

"So," their teacher, Mr. Davis began, "since this is an AP class, there will be a lot more homework than a typical biology class. I also know some of you are juniors, so I hope that you take AP anatomy and physiology next year with me if you do well in this class. As for you seniors who are taking this AP class and AP A and P--which stands for anatomy and physiology by the way--I know that the first three chapters of this class overlap a lot, so I'm sorry if you get bored.

"But, the person you have chosen to sit next to, will be your partner for any projects we have this semester. And, they aren't typical projects like presentations and the like. They're mostly practice AP tests that I want you to take with another person so that you can talk over the answers and make sure you don't make the same mistake twice. Obviously, around February, I'll ask you to take the practice tests by yourself so that you can practice for the real tests.

"Every chapter there will be presentations. I will give each pair a sub-topic of the chapter and I want you to do a five to ten minute presentation on it for the class. I also want you to put together a Kahoot for your subsection after the presentation because I found that that makes students pay way more attention than when there isn't one because everyone wants to win."

Hailey raised her hand. "Yes, remind me of your name," he said when he pointed to Hailey.

"Hailey," she told him.

"Hailey," he repeated and scribbled her name on the piece of paper with the seating chart on his desk. "Oh, and after I go over all this, I would like all of you to come and write your name on the seating chart. Hailey of course won't have to write her name because she doesn't need to be on there twice. Anyway, what was your question?"

"I was just wondering how many practice tests we'll have to take and how often you were should meet up with our partner outside of school?" Hailey asked.

"Both great questions. For the practice tests, we'll start taking them in November because that gives us time to go over the format and content. Don't worry, I won't put any new content on the practice tests. I'm not that mean. You'll take one in November, one in December, and one in January. These will all be done with your seat partner. Then, from February on, you'll have one every month, but these will be taken by yourselves so that you get used to it before the actual test.

"As for meeting up with your partner, I'd recommend every two weeks. That way you won't fall behind on the presentations."

Hailey nodded and scribbled this information down in her notebook. But, she was also nervous. She couldn't let Will come to her house. She just had to hope that Will would have all the meetings at his house.

***

"How was your first day?" Will asked when you met him at the main doors after school.

"It was good. Not as scary as you guys made it seem. Still need to make sure I get to my classes on time, though," you replied as the two of you walked out of the building and through the parking lot towards his car.

"They'll give you a grace period to get to class on time," Will told you. "It's usually a week, week and a half until they start handing out tardies."

You were about to ask how his day was, when someone yelling stopped you.

"Nice ass, Halstead!"

Your jaw dropped and your eyes bugged out of your head as you and Will both turned around. Of course, it was a varsity football player who yelled that, of course, it was.

Will put his hand in front of you. "Y/N, I'm gonna give you my keys and you're going to unlock my car and get inside."

"Will, he's not worth it," you argued.

"Y/N, take my damn keys. I don't want you anywhere near this."

You relented and took his keys and then went and got in the passenger seat of his car. But, you watched as everything unfolded.

Will stalked up to the football player, who he knew was Derek Evans, the school fuck boy who every girl liked because he was a shoo-in to get drafted by the NFL right after high school and had really good looks even though he was a total sexist asshole.

"What the fuck did you just say to my sister?" Will roared.

"Said she had a nice ass," he replied while shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly.

"You son of a--" Will lunged at him but Kevin and Kelly ran in to hold him back. Turns out they were walking out of school and saw the entire exchange.

"Will! calm the fuck down!" Kelly shouted as he pushed Will back.

"Did you not hear what he said?" Will yelled as he kept reaching out to Derek.

Kevin was pushing Derek back, too.

"We did. But you can't be fighting on the first day. If you're gonna do it, do it somewhere else not on school grounds."

"Both you, take a damn breath and walk away," Kevin told them.

Kelly pushed Will back and then grabbed his arm and walked him towards his car while Kevin walked Derek towards the football field.

"You better fucking do something about that, Severide," Will told him.

"Believe me, I'll make sure he runs lap for the entirety of practice."

"I meant punch his face in."

"Can't do that, man. I got scholarships on the line."

"At least let me bring my baseball bat to school and bash his face in. If my batting average is any indication, I could knock him out and kill him in one swing."

"That would be murder and then you'd be in prison instead of going to med school." Kelly paused and took a deep breath. "I guess now's not a great time to tell you, but freshmen are up for grabs in the game this year. The players all said they weren't going to do it because the coaches banned it, but they're going to try and be sneaky. Only writing the points down on paper and burning it, no texting about it or putting it on social media, you can only talk about it on the phone or in person, and it can't be talked about at school."

"Fuck. So the girls won't really know what's going on until it starts."

"Exactly. Just, let Y/N know, okay? And have her pass it on to some of the other freshmen...because we both know if they go to Principal White he won't do shit."

"Yeah, he's as much of a son of a bitch as Evans. But, I'll tell her. Thanks, Kelly."

***

"Jay!" Will yelled when Jay walked inside all sweaty after his soccer practice.

"What? Dude, I need a shower," he said as he threw his soccer bag and his backpack down by the door.

"Better pick that up before Mom gets home. She'll be pissed if she comes home at 3 am and trips over it."

Your mom was a nurse and worked from 2:30 pm-2:30 am, which meant she only saw you in the morning for four days a week...even though she's only supposed to work three days a week, so 36 hours, but she always picked up an extra day so that she could put some money in all of your guys' college funds. Sometimes, she'd even work five days a week and she'd be exhausted once her week was over. But, she was the hardest worker you knew and inspired you to work as hard as you possibly could at everything you did; you never did anything half-assed because you never saw your mom do that. She always gave it her all.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. But I want to shower," Jay said.

"Wait five minutes. This is important," Will told him.

Jay sat down on the couch next to him. "Fine. What is it?"

So, Will explained what happened when he and you walked out of school today and how Kelly had to hold him back so that he wouldn't beat Derek Evans to a pulp. He also told him that the game was still on...and this time freshmen are fair game.

"Fucking hell," Jay muttered.

"Yeah," Will agreed.

"Should we tell her?"

"Probably. The sooner the better, too."

"Okay. Let me jump in the shower and then we can tell her and tell her how to protect herself."

Ten minutes later, Jay was out of the shower and he knocked on your bedroom door, Will right behind him. When he didn't get an answer after a few rounds of knocking, he opened your door.

"She's sleeping. Guess we'll have to tell her when she wakes up," Jay said.

"As long as we tell her tonight," Will said. "The more time she has to prepare for what's to come, the better."

***

"Jesus. Fuck," you muttered as you rolled over and looked at the time on your phone. After stretching and jumping out of bed, you walked from your bedroom into the kitchen, to see your brothers both eating pasta. "Neither of you two bothered to wake me up? It's 6:30."

"Figured you needed the sleep," Will shrugged. "Dinner's in the fridge. Mom made lasagna."

You grabbed yourself a plate and then put some lasagna on it and put it in the microwave. Then you sat down across from Jay and Will who were both sitting on the same side of the kitchen table.

"How was your first day?" Jay asked.

"Good...other than Wiliams making me sit in the front right in front of his desk. I don't mind the front because then I can see the board easier, but his desk, really? This one's all your fault." You pointed your fork at Jay.

Jay held his hands up in surrender. "Sorry, really wasn't thinking about you when I fired those spitballs."

"What were you thinking about?" Will asked.

"That I needed to aim for his head."

"My god, you're a child," you laughed. "And, Will about ripped a football player's head off today. I think his name was Derek? He would've, too if Kelly didn't hold him back."

"But he said you had a nice ass," Will quoted. "Pretty sure that warrants me ripping his head off."

"Will's right," Jay agreed. "I would've pushed past Kelly and beat Evans to a pulp."

"Good to know you guys have my back. But, I'm in high school now. You can't keep fighting my battles for me."

"Too bad," Will said. "You're stuck with us."

"Ugh," you groaned and took a bite of your lasagna. "How was your day, Will?" you asked once you had finished the bite. "Any talk of what the senior prank will be?"

"We didn't actually talk about that. But, the girl who helped you with your locker, Hailey, she's my partner in my AP bio class," Will answered. Jay coughed. "You alright there, Jay?"

"Yeah, yeah, fine."

"Anyway," Will began, "she'll be coming round here a bit because we have to do these presentations. She said her brothers are usually home, so she'll probably come here most of the time. Oh, Y/N, she also told me to tell you that if there's ever a day where you can't find anyone to sit with at lunch, that you can always sit with her."

"Really? That's so nice of her. I wish I had classes with her," you said.

"Okay, since it's obvious neither of you is going to ask about my day because I'm the forgotten middle child," Jay started, causing both you and Will to roll your eyes, "I'm just gonna tell you. Nothing important happened. They just drilled that we have to take the SAT into our heads. Oh, and we have read like this 16th century crap in English 11, so that sucks."

"English 11 is the worst," Will agreed. "Good luck."

The three of you continued to eat and the Will started talking again when he and Jay were finished and you were almost done.

"So, Y/N, there's this sick and twisted tradition at school," Will began with a worried look on his face. "And it ends after homecoming."

"So that's what you were implying earlier," you said.

"Yeah, so what happens is that the football players kinda sorta get dares to do, but they aren't specifically dares. It's like there's a list of things they do with a girl and there's points attached to them. Like, apparently if a guy grabs a girl's ass in the hallway or anywhere else on the school's campus or at a school event, it's 50 points. But, since that's pretty tame, that's the only one that actually has to be done on campus. The rest of them can be off or on-campus...but they'd probably be off-campus," Will explained.

"I'm confused. So they get points for assaulting us?" you asked.

"Technically, it's just harassment...but some of the other ones could be classified as assault. But, those ones are supposed to be consensual, so the only risk you really run is having your butt grabbed in the hallway. Jay, you wanna take it from here?"

"Uh, yeah," Jay answered. "Usually freshmen are off-limits, but this year they changed the rules, so they're allowed. But, Kelly, Kevin, and Adam opted out because they're decent human beings, so if you see them in the hallway, you're safe; you don't have to be scared of them."

"But the rest...?" you trailed off.

"The rest of the varsity football team you need to be aware of."

"So, when does this game start and what do I do?"

"It starts in two weeks and goes on for a month, so until homecoming. As for what to do, well most girls just wear long shirts to cover their butts and not wear super tight pants," Jay told you.

"And if me or Jay have a class close to one of yours, we can walk you to your locker or to your next class. That should help a bit," Will offered.

"Thanks. That might help. But, why hasn't Mr. White stopped it?" you asked.

"Because he's as much of a sexist asshole as the football players. But, it's only a month. You can get through it," Will promised.

"God I hope so."

***

It had been two weeks since you started high school and in two days that stupid game of grab ass would begin. Hailey and Will were currently working on their presentation in the kitchen and Jay was playing at an away soccer game...which is where your mom was, too. You were sitting in your room working on your planner for next week.

You looked at your planner and saw Monday was circled and said The Game in black ink. God, why did guys have to be such sexist pigs? Just because they were the football players didn't mean they got on pass on all the school rules and hell, even all the general rules of society.

You shook your head and turned up your music and started writing in your classes for that week in your planner.

A few songs later, you thought you heard a knock on your door, so you took out one of your headphones. "Yeah?" you asked.

"Y/N, it's Hailey. Can I come in?" she asked from the other side of your door.

"Yeah," you told her as you took out the other headphone and paused your music. "What's up?" you asked when she entered.

"Will told me you're really nervous for the game starting this week?" she motioned to the spot next to you on your bed. "Can I sit?" You nodded and she sat down. "Honestly, you just have to be on high alert for a whole month. Try to walk by other people whenever you can and, I think Will said they already told you this, but don't wear tight-fitting clothing."

"They did. I just don't know what to wear."

"Well, I can help you with that. Let's go through your clothes and we'll take out what you can't wear during this and put it in another drawer, okay?"

"That sounds good." You closed your planner and you and Hailey began going through your dresser and closet.

"Another tip," she started, "if you have the chance to knee one of them in the balls, then do it. Why do you think they stopped coming after me halfway through the game last year?"

"You kneed a football player in the balls?" you asked as your eyes went wide.

"Mhm. Did it to the captain of the football team last year. He was a senior, so he's not here anymore, but now all the football boys know not to mess with me."

"I will most definitely keep that one in mind."

***

Jay met up with you that Thursday after one of his classes because it was in the same hall as yours. "Day going good?" he asked as his eyes darted side to side, clearly in overprotective big brother mode.

"Yeah, and no one's tried anything yet, so I guess that's a good thing," you told him.

You were focused on dodging people in the hallway so you had time to stop by your locker and change out your books, go to the bathroom, and then get to your next class all within the span of five minutes (your school really needed to make passing time at least seven to eight minutes instead of five), so you didn't hear the booming laughter of a few varsity football players behind you...but Jay did.

"Back the fuck off," Jay growled as none other than Derek Evans reached out to grab your ass. But, Jay stopped him by turning around and walking backward to shield your backside and then grabbing Derek's outstretched hand.

"Aww, look guys, the little freshman needs her big brother to protect her," Derek mocked.

"From you, yeah she does. You're a sick fuck, Evans...and that goes for your posse, too."

"Let go of my hand, Halstead."

Jay narrowed his eyes, but he let go. "Next time you try to grab my sister, that arm will be twisted so far back behind you that you can kiss your senior season goodbye."

"Whatever." He rolled his eyes and then turned around to go back the other way, towards his actual class.

"Thanks," you said as you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding.

"Don't mention it."

***

Jay made his way out of a classroom later that day and saw Hailey, so he made his way over to her.

"I don't need protecting, Jay," she told him.

"I know," Jay replied. "Everyone knows about you kneeing the captain last year. Great job on that by the way. I know I'm a year late, but that was a good move on your part."

"Thanks. It was just a reflex, honestly."

"And thanks for helping Y/N with the clothes thing. She was really nervous."

Hailey waved a hand flippantly. "That was nothing, just a girl helping another girl out."

"As the world should be," Jay agreed. Hey, his mother taught him to look at women as equals and he was going to treat Hailey as such...now that he knew she could protect herself from all these assholes. Because if she hadn't kneed that captain where the sun don't shine last year, you best believe he'd be on high alert for the varsity football players just like he was with you a few classes ago. "So, our practice got canceled because of the rain and the football game got canceled, too. So, me, Adam, and Kelly were gonna go out for tacos at that place across the street, but Adam's bringing his girlfriend, Kim, and Kelly's bringing his girlfriend, Stella, and I don't want to third-wheel, so do you maybe want to go with me? That is if you don't have to be home right after school."

Her dad didn't get home until 5:30. "Sure," she told him. "I just have to be home by 4:30. But, I normally take the bus, so unless one of you can bring me home, I can't come." She figured getting home an hour early would work well so that she wasn't rushing.

"Adam's bringing me home, so I'm sure he can stop by your house, too. Where do you live?" Jay asked. She told him her address. "That's only a block away from me. I'm sure he can bring you home. I'll text him and then text you." He held out his phone. "Put your number in."

So, Hailey put her number in his phone. Then, she handed it back to him and they hurried to get to their respective classes before the late bell rang.

But, she was wondering why she was blushing so much as she turned away and why all these butterflies had erupted in her stomach when their fingers brushed against each other's when she handed his phone back to him. She wasn't falling for Jay Halstead. There was no way, right?

***

"So, party this weekend. Everyone in?" Adam asked as the six of them ate tacos.

"Whose house?" Kelly asked.

Adam said a name of a football player and told them it was Saturday night,  and they all agreed to go...except for Hailey, who spouted off some excuse about how she had to be up early on Sunday, so she couldn't go. Jay was disappointed that he wouldn't have an excuse to dance with her, but he figured there'd be other parties.

"Mom's working that night," Jay said. "So, as long as I'm home by like 2:45, I should be good. Will will probably be down, too. Then Natalie will probably come."

"Great. I'll text him so he knows how much beer to have his older brother buy...but I'm sure they'll buy extra because more people usually show up anyway."

They talked and ate for another hour before they had to leave so Hailey could get home on time.

Jay and Hailey sat in the backseat of Adam's car while Adam and Kim sat in the front.

When they pulled up to Hailey's house, Jay offered to walk her to the door, but she told him no, that he didn't have to. He insisted, but she still said no, so he let it go and she got out of the car and went inside her house.

"Dude, you so like her," Adam said as they drove another block to his house.

"I do not. I don't know what you're talking about. She's just a friend," he argued.

Adam snorted. "Yeah right. And I'm the fucking king of England."

"You should ask her to homecoming," Kim suggested.

"Kim! Not you, too!"

"It's obvious. You should ask her. She might just surprise you."

***

You woke up Saturday night to your phone ringing and breaking you out of a peaceful sleep. You rubbed your eyes and looked at the time and the caller. Why the hell was Jay calling you when it was past one in the morning?

"Hello?" you asked sleepily.

"Y/N, me and Will need your help," Jay said.

You immediately sat up. "What do you mean? I thought you were home. Where the hell are you?"

"We went to a party and we couldn't risk you telling Mom, so we snuck out around 11 when we knew you were sleeping. But, Kelly's the DD and he had two drinks, so he can't drive us home. He's not drunk off his ass, but if we get pulled over and they pull out a breathalyzer, we're all shit outta luck."

"Why can't you do it?" you asked. "You sound pretty sober to me."

"I'm two and a half beers deep and it'll probably be four by the time you get here."

"Fucking  hell, Jay. And me? You seem to forget that I don't have my license yet, just my permit. I can't come get you. You're just gonna have to wait until Mom gets home and call her."

"No! No way is Mom finding out!"

"What's in it for me? I'm not breaking the law and coming to get your dumbasses for free. And I need something from both you and Will."

"Fine," Jay huffed. "Name your price."

"You do my laundry for a month and Will does my algebra homework for a month."

"Two weeks. We'll do those for two weeks," Jay said.

"No. Three weeks or I'm not coming and you get to suffer the wrath of Mom."

"Fine," he relented. "I'll text you the address."

***

You drove Will's car like an old grandma on the way to the house party, sometimes going ten miles under the speed limit. There was no way you were getting busted for your brothers.

You turned off your car and parked in the closest spot you could find to the house where the party was at. Then, you pulled out your phone and texted both Jay and Will that you were there.

Five minutes passed...then ten and still no answer from either of them.

"Fucking hell," you muttered as you unbuckled and then grabbed the keys and got out of Will's car and locked it, safely zipping the keys in one of your sweatshirt pockets. "I swear to God if both of them are three sheets to the wind and I have to drag their asses out of there, I will not be fucking happy."

You started to walk towards the party, looking at your phone every couple of seconds to see if either of your brothers had texted you back.

You gasped when you felt someone grab your ass.

"Fifty points," he whispered in your ear and then grabbed your wrist.

Derek Evans.

"Let me go!" you told him as you tried to pull away from him.

"No can do, freshman. It's 500 points for fucking a freshman and there's no way I'm passing up that opportunity."

"Let me go!" you screamed. You even dropped your phone to the ground to try to use your other hand to pry his hand off your wrist. But, he just laughed and kept holding you. Then, he stomped on your phone, breaking it into pieces.

You kept screaming, but the music was so loud that no one could hear you. And, you tried to dig your heels into the ground to stop him, but it was no use; he was too strong.

Eventually, he got tired of dragging you and just picked you up. You punched and kicked him, but it didn't seem to work. It was like this senior was immune to pain.

He got to a shed near the side of the house and quite literally threw you against it. You groaned and took a few deep breaths. In that time, Derek had ripped his shirt off and grabbed your wrists with one hand. You dug your nails into his hands. You weren't going down without a fight.

"That's cute," he laughed. "You think some nails are going to stop me."

He dragged you over a few inches and then used some of his shirt to secure your wrists to the fence that separated this house from the one next to it.

"Help! Help!" you yelled. "Somebody help me!"

Your head flew to the right as he slapped you across the face. "Shut the fuck up!"

You whimpered and then started kicking your feet. But, he just walked away and watched you struggle as he removed his pants. Then, he sat on your legs. You couldn't kick anymore, so you started screaming even louder. He slapped you a few more times across the face until you finally  shut up because, fuck, that hurt. That just left you whimpering at his mercy as he fumbled with the string on your pajama pants. (You hadn't bothered changing your pants when you came to get your brothers, only threw on a bra on under your t-shirt.) You didn't know what to do. No one was going to save you and you were completely and utterly helpless.

***

Kelly Severide knew you were coming to pick them up as Jay had told him that when he was on his way to grab his fourth beer. He hadn't heard anything from Jay or Will yet but figured they were both shit-faced. So, he tried to text you. No reply. He tried to call. No answer.

So, Kelly walked out onto the back porch and started around the side of the house to see if you had parked. But then, he heard whimpering and what sounded like a slap and then a yelp. He started running.

When he saw what was happening, he saw red.

You were lying on the grass whimpering while Derek was just in his boxers. You wanted him to stop smacking your thighs and face because god, you were fucking hurting and you were also fucking terrified about what was going to happen next.

"Please," you whimpered. "Please, st--"

"You son of a bitch!"

Before you could even register who yelled that, Derek was thrown off of you and to the ground.

You caught your breath and just laid there panting and crying while Kelly did a number on Derek's face. He sent more punches to his stomach until he finally doubled over and groaned in pain. Then, he kicked him in the back and he fell to the ground. Kelly placed his foot on Derek's back. "Stay the fuck down you fucking bastard."

He pulled out his phone and called 911. "Hello, I'd like to report a sexual assault."

***

Will felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. "Kelly, where the hell are you, man?" he asked as he dirty danced with Natalie on the dance floor.

"Will, you need to come out by the shed now," he said, still with his foot on Derek's back, keeping him down. Kelly felt terrible that he couldn't untie you, but he couldn't risk Derek getting up and trying to finish what he started.

"Why? You snorting coke out there? Because count me out. I don't do that."

"No. It's Y/N. She was- she-- It's that stupid fucking game some of the bastards I call teammates are playing. An ambulance and the cops are on their way."

Will's mouth went dry. It went dry when he heard the game part, but now it was as if it was sandpaper.

"Jay's by me. We'll be there in a second."

Will pocketed his phone and let go of Natalie. "Baby, what's wrong?" she asked.

"It's Y/N. I think one of those football players got to her."

"Fuck a freshman." Adam's eyes went wide as he let go of Kim.

"What? What about fucking?" Jay asked as he went to take another sip of his beer, but Will swatted it out of his hand.

"We need to go. Now." He grabbed Jay's arm. "Adam, explain."

The three of them started running, Jay barely being able to run in a straight line and Natalie and Kim hot on their heels, and Adam explained how he heard about one part of the game that was called fuck a freshman. But, he thought it was a joke because he didn't know for sure because he didn't sign up for the game.

"Well, obviously it's not a joke!"

Will saw Kelly with his foot on Derek's back before he saw you.

"You fucking son of a bitch!" he yelled.

"Will!" you cried.

"Y/N, hold on. We're here, we're here." He knelt down next to you and untied the t-shirt that kept your wrists tied to the fence.

It took Jay a minute, but then he realized what happened...it also took Kim shaking him and telling him she was going to slap him across the face and then actually doing it. Now that sobered him up.

You could hear sirens in the distance.

"Me and Natalie will go get them," Will said. "You three good here?"

"We're good. Now go get help," Kelly said.

***

The ride to the hospital was a blur. You were still freaking out, so the paramedics had to give you a light sedative to calm down. You remembered your brothers being in the back of the ambulance with you and you remembered Jay puking in a bucket from all the beer he drank.

You vaguely remembered the doctors asking you questions and taking pictures of your bruises. You also remembered them telling the three police officers that they couldn't question you yet. And then, you fell asleep.

***

You slowly opened your eyes and squinted against the bright hospital lights.

Damn, it must've taken me a helluva long time to get the boys out of that party if I'm waking up when the sun is this bright, you thought to yourself.

But, then you looked at your surroundings and it all came flooding back to you.

"Mama, Mama," you cried.

"I'm here, honey, I'm here," she said as she gently grabbed your hand.

You tried to sit up, but your thighs and stomach hurt so bad from Derek hitting you that you couldn't.

"I want a hug but I can't sit up," you cried as tears started to stream down your face.

She stood up and bent over the bed and wrapped her arms around you. It was an uncomfortable position for her because she was bending over to hug you, but she didn't care. You were her little girl and she'd do anything to make you feel safe and loved.

Will and Jay sat in the chairs on the other side of your bed. You hadn't even realized they were there. Will had tears in his eyes and Jay had a hand over his mouth trying to stop a sob from coming out. God, if he wouldn't have called you to pick them up, then this wouldn't have happened. It was all his fault this happened to you.

A knock on the door sounded and your mom let go of you and the two of you looked towards the door.

It was Hailey.

Jay looked to you to see if it was okay that she came in and you nodded.

"Hey," she said as she entered. "I brought donuts. Figured you might be hungry."

You were glad she didn't ask if you were okay because it was apparent that you most definitely were not okay.

You nodded and she walked over to you and opened the box. "You get first pick."

You picked a raspberry-filled one and then proceeded to take tiny bites of your donut. It hurt too much to open your mouth a lot because your cheeks and chin were heavily bruised.

You almost finished your donut, when there was another knock on the door. This time it was three police officers. Then, they opened the door.

"Y/N, I'm Trudy Platt and this is Detective Alvin Olinsky and Detective Hank Voight. We're here to take a few statements about what happened," the officer told you.

"Am I in trouble?" you asked. You did drive without a license.

"No, not at all. We just need to know what happened. We can give you a minute to finish eating if you would like?"

"Can I do it now?"

"Of course." She turned to your mom. "Mom, you want to stay in the room?"

"If I can--"

"I don't want you to know the details, Mom. Please," you pleaded as more tears fell.

"Are you sure? I'll love you no matter what, honey. Good or bad, you're still my little girl."

"I know. But I just- I want to be alone."

"Okay, me and the boys and Hailey will be right outside."

The four of them left and the two detectives left as well, leaving only you and this officer known as Trudy Platt.

"Am I in trouble?" you asked when the door shut.

"Oh, honey, no," Trudy said as she sat down in the seat your mom was previously sitting in.

"But, I drove without my license be- because they asked me to pick them up and then- and then--"

"Y/N, you are not in any trouble. Kelly Severide told us most of the story about what happened, but we need to hear it in your own words. And you can take as long as you want. Take as much time as you need."

So you told her what happened.

"It's all my fault. If I would've never agreed to go pick up Will and Jay--"

"This is not your fault. None of this is your fault," she told you.

"But why does it feel like it is? If I could've just fought him off, maybe this wouldn't have happened." You wiped your eyes with the heels of your hands and let out a strangled sob which was more like a yell. "Why do boys get away with everything?"

She pulled the chair closer to your bed. "Y/N, you have my word that he won't be getting away with what he did to you. I promise you he won't get away with it."

"But how do you know that? You can't possibly know that!"

"Because I have two of the best detectives working with me and I just know that he won't get away with what he did to you."

After a few more minutes and explaining that you really didn't want to go through a trial, Trudy left the room. She also handed you her card in case you changed your mind about the trial.

Then, Trudy Platt went to the bathroom where she saw the other girl who was in the room with you while she was washing her hands. As the girl was scrubbing her hands, Trudy noticed a bruise on her arm, a little above her wrist. It was low enough that it could be hidden by long sleeves, but that it could also ride up when the girl was washing her hands.

"You're one of Y/N's friends?" Trudy asked.

"Yeah. Me and her brother got paired up for a project and I was supposed to meet him this morning, but he texted saying family emergency. So, I thought I'd bring them breakfast," Hailey answered.

"That's very kind of you. Were you at the party last night?"

"No, I was at home."

"Is that where you hurt your arm?"

Hailey quickly pulled on her sweatshirt sleeve "No, I uh, I hit it on my locker a few days ago."

Trudy knew this girl was lying. She had worked enough domestic and child abuse cases to know the usual excuses. So, she pulled out her business card and handed it to Hailey. "This is my business card. My cell phone number is on there as well. Call me if you need help getting out."

***

Trudy, Hank, and Al entered the district and then went into the basement where there were no cameras.

"I think we can all agree on not putting that the girl was driving without a license in the reports," Trudy started.

"Agreed," Al said. "What about the boys?"

"We leave out that they were drinking, too," Hank said. "The only people who know that they were drinking are us three and them since they obviously can't take a breathalyzer now, there's no use in putting it in the reports. They were just kids being kids."

"Yeah, except for the asshole who assaulted her," Al stated.

"Yeah, except for him. We're throwing the book at that bastard," Hank agreed.

"She said she didn't want to go through a trial," Trudy said.

"What? Why not?" Hank asked.

"She said that she didn't think that anyone would believe her. He's a senior who everyone likes, hell, this whole town knows he's going to be drafted. So, she thinks he wouldn't get in trouble if he does actually go to trial."

Hank sighed and ran a hand down his face. "Well, we have 48 hours to hold him, and then me and Al will figure out how to take care of this."

***

"Are you hungry?" your mom asked when you got home later that day. The hospital had discharged you since all your injuries were superficial, such as the bruises on your face, wrist stomach, and thighs.

"No," you muttered. "I'm gonna go to my room."

"Okay, well if you want to be alone, that's fine, but I took FMLA leave, so I'll be home for a while. Take all the time you need, honey."

You nodded and then walked into your room and cuddled under your blankets. Since it was the afternoon, there was still a bit of sunlight coming in from beneath your blinds, which you were thankful for. You turned on your fan and allowed it to blow lightly on you. You were glad that you always used your fan for white noise so that you could sleep, but it also helped to muffle your quiet sobs as you cried into your pillow.

Meanwhile, Hailey, Will, Jay, and your mom were in the kitchen. Hailey had come home with you and your family so that she and Will could work on their presentation. She said it was fine, that she could go home, but Will said working on the presentation would be a welcome distraction.

"What's FMLA leave?" Jay asked.

"It's the Family Medical Leave Act," she answered as she sat down at the kitchen table. "It means I can have up to twelve weeks unpaid leave at work and still be guaranteed a job when I get back. But, I'll probably just take half of that, because uh, I won't be making any money during that time."

"I can see if I can get my summer job back," Will immediately offered. "I know I said I can only work during the summer, but I can work on the weekends even if it's only ten hours a week and I've only been off for a month, so they should probably be able to rehire me--"

"Honey," your mom said, cutting him off. "I really appreciate you thinking of that. But it's your senior year and you're taking four AP classes. School comes first. We'll get through it. This is only temporary and I do have a savings account in case of emergencies and we should be fine."

"Okay, well, you can always tell me to talk to my boss if I need to," Will said. Then, he turned to Hailey. "I'll go grab my stuff and then we can work on the project."

Will walked away to his room, leaving Jay, your mom, and Hailey. "Can I get you anything, Hailey?" your mom asked. "Water, coffee?"

"Oh, no. I'm fine," Hailey said. This wasn't about her. She knew that you needed your mom and that your mom needed time to feel what happened as well. "Thank you, though."

"I'm gonna go check on Y/N and then go for a drive. If anything happens with her, Jay, I need either you or Will to call me right away."

"We will, Mom, don't worry."

Your mom pulled Jay into a hug. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Mom." Normally, Jay wouldn't have hugged his mom when his friends were around--or whatever he considered Hailey--, but he knew his mom needed it, so he returned her hug.

"Be back soon."

Then, she checked on you and seeing that you were asleep, grabbed her keys, and left.

"I'm gonna put on a pot of coffee," Jay said. "I know you said you were good, but you can have some if you want." He made his way to the cupboard and grabbed the container of ground-up coffee beans and started putting them into a filer.

"Thanks. Might take you up on that when me and Will are working. A little liquid focus never hurt anyone," she replied.

"No doubt."

Hailey paused, she wanted to keep talking with Jay but didn't know what to say. She didn't want to mention last night either. "So, are you taking any AP classes?" she asked. "You know, since Will's apparently taking four."

"Will's a psychopath and no, I'm not. Too much work if you ask me. If I was planning on going to college, I might take a few, but I'm not."

"Oh. Then what are you planning to do?"

"Maybe the army. My mom doesn't like the thought of me fighting in wars, but she supports my decision. I just don't feel like studying is for me."

"What branch?" Hailey asked.

He raised his eyebrows at how interested she was. "I was thinking the Army Rangers. They're the first ones on the ground in war zones."

"Sounds dangerous. You're practically flying blind."

"Oh, but that's what makes it fun."

Hailey laughed. "You're an adrenaline junkie, aren't you?"

"Oh, yeah. I love rollercoasters...and anything else that gets my heart racing."

"Hear about that new coaster at Cedar Point?"

"Yeah!" Jay exclaimed. And, before he even had time to process what he was about to say, he blurted it out anyway. "Maybe we could go together sometime."

Did he just ask me out? Hailey thought to herself. "I'd like that." She smiled.

"Am I invited?" Will asked as he walked down the hallway, overhearing their conversation.

"Uh," Jay blanched.

"Dude, chill. I know you were trying to ask her out--"

Jay's phone rang before he could yell at Will to knock it off and Hailey just took a seat at the table blushing really badly while she did so.

"It's Kev," Jay said while glaring at his older brother. "I gotta take this." He accepted the call and started to walk down the hall to the bedroom that he shared with Will. "Hey, man."

Jay closed his bedroom door and sat on his bed. "Adam just told me that Evans tried to rape your sister?"

Jay ran a hand down his face. "Uh, yeah, if Kelly wouldn't have gotten there when he did, who knows what would've happened."

"Is she okay? Is he in jail? Is she in the hospital?"

Jay knew that Kevin would react protectively since he had a younger sister, Vanessa, who was in seventh grade, just two years younger than you.

"I mean, physically her injuries are just bruising." He took a deep, shaky breath to stop himself from crying. "I think they're holding Evans and we just got home from the hospital. Y/N's sleeping now."

"Evans is so fucking lucky I wasn't there. Adam said that Kelly beat his face in pretty bad, but I'd do worse. I probably would've killed him, at least given him brain damage from a concussion."

"You and me both."

"And, uh, Adam said the cops are gonna talk to all the football players?" Kevin asked.

"Yeah. The detective did mention that. He also told me and Will not to go after Evans, but--"

"You're not gonna listen?" Kevin asked.

"I'll probably wait two weeks so he thinks he's safe and then go after him. You're more than welcome to help."

"I'll cover for you that night."

"Thanks, man. So, the cops talk to you yet?" Jay asked.

"Not yet. But I really don't have anything to say. I didn't participate and I would never participate. Might mention that White never tried to stop it and Coach Davis said it was off-limits, though."

"You think Davis knew what was going on?" Jay asked.

"There's no way. If he knew, he would've kicked all of them off the team. He doesn't fuck with stuff like that. White, on the other hand, well, we both know how that cat rolls."

"I should've mentioned that when they were talking to me earlier this morning. I was just, I was so worried about Y/N."

"I get it. I'd be the same way if this happened with Vanessa. I'll tell them about it. You just make sure she's okay. And, if you, her, Will, or your mom need anything, gimme a call. I'd be happy to help."

"Thanks, Kev."

"Good luck planning your revenge. Tell me what the cover is."

"Oh don't worry, I will."

***

Two weeks later

Jay popped the screen out of his window. "You can put this back in, right?" he asked Will.

"Yeah, yeah. I got it. Go give Evans hell for what he did to Y/N," he replied as he got out of bed and stood by the window.

"You know, still time for you to come with me."

"I got accepted to college already. I'm not about to jeopardize that. Cover still that Kev called and needed help babysitting Vanessa and Jordan?"

"That's the one. I'll crash at his house after this is done just so it seems believable. See you tomorrow."

"See you. Don't get beat up too badly."

Jay scoffed. "Yeah right."

Then, he started the three-mile walk to Derek Evan's house.

So, Jay had decided not to actually beat him up because his parents were home and he didn't want to have to deal with the parents. Derek and the cops he could handle, but having his parents yell that they want to press charges and scream at him, yeah no. He had stashed a can of black spray paint in a bush in his front yard and grabbed it when he was leaving. He planned on spray painting rapist on Derek's white car. Even though he didn't technically rape you, he tried to, so the word still stands.

Jay got there and pulled his hat down over his face. Then, he walked up the driveway and to Derek's car. He shook the can of spray paint and took the cap off. His finger was down on the button--

"Chicago PD!"

Fuck.

***

"Your last name's Halstead?" the cop who picked him up asked when they entered the 21st District.

"Yes, sir," he answered, his head hanging low and the can of spray paint still in his hand.

"Well, I need you to take a seat right there while I make a phone call. Do not move."

"Yes, sir."

Jay sat down on the bench across from the front desk and pulled out his phone. He sent texts to both Kevin and Will.

Cops caught me. At a police station right now. Will, don't you fucking dare tell Mom.

They replied that they were shocked, but Kevin said he could always come pick Jay up if he needed it. He figured Jordan and Vanessa would be okay by themselves for half an hour. And Will promised he wouldn't tell Mom...unless Jay needed bail money, then he'd have to tell her.

"Halstead," a gruff voice barked from the side of him.

Jay looked up to be met with one of the detectives who had worked your case. But, instead of being in his uniform, he was in normal clothes. The only thing that could tell anyone that he was a cop was the badge pinned to his jeans and the gun in its holster at his side.

Jay stood up.

"I had a feeling something like this might happen," Hank Voight stated. "So, I put a patrol car in front of the Evans' house."

"Am I under arrest?" Jay asked.

"You're not. But follow me."

Hank opened the door to the office next to where the bench was and Jay followed him in.

"Have a seat." Jay sat down in the chair in front of the desk and Hank sat in the chair behind the desk. If Jay didn't know any better, he'd say he was in the principal's office. "Jay, listen."

"Wait, how do you know I'm not Will?" Jay asked.

"I know that Will had red hair. And, you told the responding officer your full name, remember?"

"Yes, sorry."

"It's okay. A little questioning never hurt anybody. But, Jay, listen. You can't go and beat this kid up or destroy or vandalize his property." Jay opened his mouth to protest, but Hank put a hand up to stop him. "I understand that you're angry and want to get revenge for your sister. But, that's not going to make it like it didn't happen. And, you'd be the one getting in trouble, not him. Severide already did a number on him."

"But, Y/N doesn't want a trial because she doesn't want to relive it!" Jay argued. "I just have to let him get away with it?"

"He's not going to get away with it, I can promise you that. I just don't want you to be the one getting in trouble for bringing a little justice to the world. I can promise you justice will be served, though."

"How? If there's no trial and I can't go after him, how will justice be served?"

"Jay, just let it run its course. Now, I'm assuming your mom doesn't know you're here?"

"No, she doesn't. I planned on going to a friend's house after."

"I'll drive you there. All this vandalism stuff will stay between me, you, and the patrolman."

Jay's jaw dropped. "Wow, thank you so much."

"Hey, I would've done the same thing if I was in your shoes. Now, c'mon, let's get you to that friend's house."

***

One month later

It was your mom's first day back to work. She said she would stay home longer if you wanted her to, but you told her you were fine. And, she thought that as well because you had been coming out of your room more these past two weeks.

You walked to the kitchen to go get some water which was normal for you. All you had been doing since you were almost raped was sleeping. You'd occasionally have dinner with your family, but that was it. You also started seeing a therapist a week after the attempted rape, which helped immensely. But, when she saw your symptoms, she had suggested anti-depressants after you had talked to her for a couple weeks. So, you were on them.

After a week, you started to gain some energy back. It wasn't back to normal yet, but it was enough that you would watch movies and tv shows, read, and journal in your room instead of lying in bed staring at the ceiling and sleeping all day.

You were on your way back to your room with your glass of water when you heard a familiar opening line to one of your favorite Disney Channel movies: Lemonade Mouth.

You poked your head into the living room. "Are you guys watching Lemonade Mouth?" you asked your brothers.

"We were gonna change it to watch some hockey," Jay said. Then, he saw Will's pointed look. "But, if you want to watch Lemonade Mouth, then we can."

Will paused the tv. "Are you sure?" you asked.

"We're sure," Will replied. "I'll go make us some popcorn while you get comfortable."

And thus started the plan of watching a movie every night to get you out of your room. Sometimes, Will would have too much homework, so you'd watch a movie with Jay. Sometimes Jay would have a soccer game, so you'd watch a movie with Will. Sometimes, Will would have a ton of homework and Jay would have a soccer game, so you'd watch a movie with your mom. Either way, it was nice to know that they were there for you and that you didn't have to talk about anything with them.

"Hey, like my new shirt?" Jay asked.

"When did you go shopping?" Will asked as he looked up from his textbook.

"Practice got canceled because Coach is sick and Hailey wanted to get some food and go to Goodwill, so we got food and went to Goodwill."

"Jesus, man, you are so whipped. Didn't you just become boyfriend and girlfriend last week?"

"Yes. Y/N you-- what's wrong?"

Your breath was caught in your throat and you felt like you couldn't breathe. If you could see yourself right now, you knew you'd look like a ghost.

"Nothing. I- I just need to get some water and then I'm gonna go take a nap."

"Okay," Will started, "you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine."

You walked into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water, but you also grabbed your bottle of antidepressants and put them in the pocket of your sweatshirt. Then, you made your way to your bedroom and locked the door.

How the hell did Jay manage to find the exact same shirt at a thrift store? It was a navy blue shirt with the Abercrombie and Fitch logo on it...the same exact shirt Derek was wearing on the night of the party.

It all came flooding back to you. You screaming...him slapping you...you crying...

You couldn't breathe.

"Ahhh!" you sobbed and dropped to your knees and curled up into a ball, taking the pills out of your pocket.

You continued sobbing and then you heard a knock on your door and heard the doorknob rattle.

"Y/N, Y/N, I need you to open this door," Will told you.

"No! Leave me alone!" you yelled.

"Can't do that. Mom left us in charge since she went back to work. If you don't open this door in three seconds, we're coming in somehow."

He got to two and you relented and opened the door.

"Y/N...what--"

You thrust the bottle of pills in his hand. "Take them! Take them, please!"

"Were you...?"

"I don't know! I don't know, Will! Just get them away from me!"

He pocketed them. "Okay, what's going on? What happened?"

Jay came around the corner.

"It's the same- the same--"

"Y/N, I need you to take a deep breath for me and then we can talk about this."

After five minutes of Will calming you down, you were finally able to catch your breath enough to talk.

"Jay's got the same shirt!" you wailed.

"The same shirt as who?" Will asked gently, careful not to touch you for fear that it would send you into another anxiety attack.

"Derek!"

Will turned around. "Jay, go rip that fucking shirt off and fucking burn it!" Jay just stood there, shellshocked. "Jay!"

He turned around and went to his room to take it off and get rid of it.

"Now, can I give you a hug?" Will asked. You nodded and allowed him to embrace you. When he pulled away, he asked, "Were you really going to do that? With the pills?"

"I- I don't think so," you told him. "I just saw them when I was getting water and grabbed them. I don't want to die."

"That's good. That's really good. But, you know we have to talk to Mom about this, right?"

"Yeah. And, I know I'm supposed to go back to school next week, but I- I don't think I can handle it, Will."

"Then we'll talk to her about that, too."

Jay ran out of his room--in a different shirt--holding his phone in his hand and looking frantic. "We have to go now!" he yelled.

"Why?" Will asked. "Where?"

"Mom just called and said she had to check out Hailey in the hospital."

***

"Hailey!" Jay yelled as he entered her room. He saw her bruised face and her arm in a sling. "Baby, what happened?"

"He- he--" And then she erupted into sobs and reached her good arm over to Jay.

You noticed that one of the officers who worked your case was also in the room.

"Hailey, honey, do you want to press charges?" Trudy Platt asked.

"I can't!" she wailed as she lifted her head off of Jay's chest. "I know I called you, but he's my dad!"

Jay let go of her. "Your dad did this? That son of a--"

"Jay!" your mom yelled.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

Hailey reached for her water, but you noticed it was slightly out of her reach so you handed it to her. You hated seeing the girl who you considered your best friend in this much pain, at the hands of her father of all people.

Since you were only in school for less than a month before everything happened and didn't have time to form real, long-lasting friendships you didn't really have any close friends besides Hailey. And now, you knew how she felt when she saw you in that hospital bed six weeks ago.

"Hailey, I can't let you go back to that house," Trudy said.

"But I don't want to press charges! Can't you just pretend you didn't see that? That I didn't call you?" Hailey argued.

"Honey, since you're a minor, I'm supposed to press charges no matter what."

"But he's my dad!" she cried. "I know he's horrible, but I don't want him to rot in prison."

"Hailey, listen to me," Trudy began. "I am giving you an out here. I won't press charges, but for me not to press charges, I need you to be in a safe home."

"You're saying I need to find to find someplace else to live?" she asked.

Trudy nodded.

"Mom, can she...?" Jay asked as he looked up at his mom.

In that moment, your mom saw in Hailey what she had seen in you six weeks ago: a scared little girl who needed the comfort and love of a parent. And, your mom knew she wasn't her actual parent, but she had been over so much recently that it was hard for her to see Hailey as just one of Will's classmates...especially now since she was your best friend and Jay's girlfriend.

"She can stay. As long as she doesn't mind sharing a room with Y/N," your mom agreed.

And, it was that day that Hailey Upton decided that she wanted to become a cop.

***

Hank Voight pulled over Derek on his way home from school.

"Is there a problem, officer?" Derek asked as he rolled down his window.

"First of all, it's detective. And second of all, there is a problem. The problem is that you almost raped a girl," he stated.

"And she didn't file charges, so until she does, I didn't do that."

Hank reached over and grabbed Derek Evans by the collar. "Listen here. In two weeks, you are going to write a letter to your parents saying that you're running away because of all the ridicule you've faced because of this. And then, you're going to meet me at this address." He thrust a piece of paper into his hand. "Oh, and if you think I'm not serious, let me know if your principal shows up to school tomorrow because I can promise you he won't be there. He'll be in prison...or dead. I'll let you think over which one it is." He let go of his collar. "If I were you, I'd show up or it will be a whole lot worse for you."

Derek swallowed. "Okay."

***

Two weeks later

Hailey was settling in at your house, but you still weren't ready to go back to school.

"Y/N," your mom called from the kitchen. You walked out there. "I talked to one of your counselors. They said that they think online school would be helpful. Is that something you might be interested in?"

You never thought your mom would cave to this, but you were on cloud nine. "Yes, please."

"Okay, but can you try to go back at the beginning of next year?"

"I don't know, Mom."

"That's okay. I shouldn't have asked you that. You'll know when you're ready." She paused. "But, one of the things I'm worried about is you not getting any social interaction."

Will walked out of his room. "What if I do it with her?" he asked. "I could go to school for my AP classes and then take the other ones online. The AP ones are really the only ones that matter."

"Will, it's your senior year," your mom argued.

"I know. I can still do all the fun senior stuff, but I wouldn't have to be at school all day."

"Can I do it, too?" Jay asked. "And, I can still go to school for math and English because we know how I am in those subjects. I can even ask Hailey and text some friends if they want to do online school, too," he suggested.

Tears formed in your eyes. Your brothers were giving up their high school experiences for you.

"Boys, I don't know--"

"Mom, you said the issue was social interaction," Will began, "if we're there and other people are there, she wouldn't be missing out on social interaction."

Your mom sighed. "Are you two sure about this? This isn't a decision you can take lightly." They both said they were sure. "Okay, I'll call the school."

"I'll ask Hailey and make some phone calls," Jay said.

And so, three days later, you, your brothers, Hailey, Kim, Adam, Kevin, Natalie, Stella, and Kelly were all sitting in a coffee shop working on online school.

***

Derek Evans walked a block before he got in Hank Voight's car.

"You have everything?" Hank asked, referring to Derek's backpack filled with clothes, toiletries, and other necessities.

"Yes, sir," Derek answered. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see," was all Hank said and then he started driving.

They pulled up to a dirt area on the water with four huge silos. "What are we doing here?" Derek asked.

"Get out of the car."

Derek listened and then Hank followed him around the car. He pulled his gun out of his holster and pressed the cool, black metal against Derek's temple. Derek froze.

"Walk," Hank commanded.

Derek listened and he walked with Hank still holding a gun to his head.

Hank told him to stop and then he drew a line in the dirt with his foot.

"You see this line?" he asked.

"Uh huh," Derek answered while visibly shaking.

"If you ever cross this line again, there will be a bullet in your head. Walk and don't come back." Hank lowered his gun and Derek started walking, not looking back, doing exactly as Hank had told him to do. "Nobody fucks with my city, Evans," Hank said to his retreating back. "Nobody. Not even you."

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this rewrite! Thank you for reading! Please remember to reblog/like and comment because I always love when those notifications pop up and I love reading your comments!And, if you like my writing, you can support me at buy me coffee here. It's only a dollar and it's through Paypal and any currency can be used, no subscription required! (I write these fics for free, so I figured I'd try this out!) As always, if you want ti be added to my taglist, just comment that and I’ll add you

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[sugdenlovesdingle]

Pfft I can’t be bothered to vote b it’s not like it matters I’m happy living with crippling student debt and working for an old grumpy arsehole and a soon to be nagging husband

In short nah screw voting

you're lucky I can't slap you through the computer!

if everyone was like "nah i'm not voting, it doesn't do anything" NOTHING would ever change! Your upcoming marriage would still be illegal - your RELATIONSHIP would still be illegal, women would still be considered property, wouldn't have the right to vote, would be expected to quit their job and stay home with the kids as soon as they got married.

my grandmother had to officially have permission from her husband to OPEN A BANK ACCOUNT when my mum was little. That was in the 50s/60s. that changed because people who thought that was bullshit got voted into office.

BIden's administration is forgiving student debt - because that's important to the people who voted for them.

there are serious talks about the Dutch government officially apologising for the Dutch slavery history. The city of Amsterdam and Rotterdam have officially apologised. There are talks about making Keti Koti (the celebration of the end of slavery) a national holiday. You know why that is? Because people who think that should happen got voted into office.

Make up is no longer tested on animals in the EU - because people voted for people who made that happen.

Liz Truss is incompetent but she is still a woman in the most important position in the country (or well - was). That wouldn't have happened if nobody who believed women should be allowed to "run for office" (or whatever the British equivalent of that term is) ever stood up for what they believed in and other people stood up with them AND VOTED.

One thing you can be sure of is that the people who benefit from the system being the way it is now, will go vote to make sure it stays that way.

In the Netherlands we've had the same incompetent asshole as prime minister for over 10 years. His party have gutted the healthcare system, fucked up the energy market, introduced legislations that require people who are on benefits to 'do something in return" and work as a volunteer in some way (taking care of family counts as volunteering too). if you don't, you don't get any money. and don't even think about asking friends or family for a loan or even accept a bag of shopping from them - you will get caught (people can report you) and they will dock your pay.

The people affected by this bullshit are not the people who vote for the assholes who came up with it. But they are the most likely to go "i'm not voting, it doesn't change anything". and THAT'S WHY after the last elections we got shafted with the same assholes who'd just resigned over scandal number 1228463941 - their supporters vote. The upper class, rich, bastards who look down on people on benefits. They LIKE the system where the default is that someone can own a fuckton of houses, rent them out for a fuckton of money AND THEN DON'T HAVE TO PAY TAXES ON IT. They're not going to sit back and watch the lazy, unemployed ("they just don't want to work"), peasants change that system - they vote to keep their guy in office!

I was going voting with my parents when I was little and I got to press the button or colour the little box next to their candidate's name red. The first time I got my own polling card I wanted to frame it! My parents were so proud they wanted to take a picture of me at the polling station. Fuck driving or legally drinking or even getting married - my dad was there when I got to vote for the first time, i think that meant more to him.

I could rant about this for hours but I'm hungry so I'll stop and go fix myself something to eat.

But whatever you do - the next election GO! VOTE!

[cafedanslanuit]

chapter guide | prev. chapter | next chapter

✖   —   chapter summary: Now that Zeke has explained what truly happened with Yelena, all your troubles have finally ended. Except that now you need to start avoiding Porco. However, things change once you overhear a conversation in the woman's bathroom.

✖   —   pairing: porco/reader & zeke/reader

✖   —   chapter tags/warnings: college au, descriptions of panic attacks, lots of self-doubt, gaslighting, hurt/comfort, fluff, referenced cheating. 

✖   —   a/n: i have posted the playlist that goes with this series! click here to check this post <3

chapter three: me and my husband

Porco looked at his cellphone, an ill sensation filling up his stomach as he read over and over your last messages. For the past few days, he had been trying to reach out to you but he had been rejected every time.

He knew something wrong was going on the moment you said you couldn’t make it to his lacrosse game. Ever since you became friends, you hadn’t missed a single game. He had once seen you finishing an essay on your phone and sending it while you were sitting on the bleachers, excited for the game to begin. He had seen you falling asleep on his shoulder during a party after a game, too tired from studying for a test that you took earlier.

Porco sighed. He wished he could find any other reason to explain your behaviour but the only one that came to his mind was his late night confession to you. He shouldn’t have told you he loved you. Now you were avoiding him and his feelings and he was scared he had lost your friendship completely.

He put the phone on his back pocket and grabbed his keys, heading to the parking lot. After getting into his car, he turned on the radio and drove out of the campus, entering the main highway of the city. He wasn’t sure where he was heading to, but all he knew is that he wanted to stop thinking about you, the moment he thought you had shared and the dry messages that followed.

He had really fucked it up.

…

 Sitting on your faculty’s corridor floor, you looked over at the texts Porco had been sending you the past week. It physically pained you to be so curt with someone that meant so much to you. Porco had always been there for you, even in the times you had told him you really didn’t need him. He cared when you got sick, when you were sad and also when you wanted company to crash a party on campus. You two had been inseparable since the day you met and he was already acquaintances with Annie and Armin due to all the time he had spent at your place.

This was the right thing to do, you told yourself one more time, closing your Instagram. You were taking the right decision. Porco had fallen in love with you and then had tried to make you think your boyfriend had cheated on you. If Zeke hadn’t pointed that out for you, you probably wouldn’t have noticed until it was too late. Truly, you were lucky Zeke had been understanding about the whole situation and had forgiven you for not trusting in him.

Porco wasn’t a bad person. You knew in your heart he wasn’t. But you had been wrong to trust he had your best interest in his mind.

That’s what didn’t make sense. Why had Porco, sweet and caring Porco had suddenly decided to put you against Zeke only just because he had caught feelings for you? The Porco you knew wouldn’t have done that. If he truly only wanted to drive you away from Zeke, he would have let you kiss him the night he spent with you. He would have taken the opportunity, right? So, why didn’t he?

Your head started hurting.

Your thumb ghosted over Porco’s contact on your phone, wondering whether to call him or not. You missed him dearly and knew that if you asked him to be honest, he would. There were countless moments in the past where he had been honest with you, from the time he confessed to accidentally stepping on your foundation powder and the time he opened up about his father’s death.

He’ll say anything to make you doubt your relationship with me.

Zeke’s voice resonated in your ears and you bit your tongue. He was right. You needed to remember Porco was trying to put you against your boyfriend.

Before you could think of a counterargument, you shot a quick text to Zeke. Yes. A day with your boyfriend would help you keep your mind busy.

“wanna hang out later? <3”

You watched intently, a small smile on your face as the three dots twinkled on your screen. Zeke’s answer came a few seconds later.

“Can’t. Exam tomorrow :(“

He then sent you a picture of a couple of books over a table that you recognized as the university’s library. He also had the tumbler you had given him a couple of months ago, filled with straight black coffee if you had to take a guess.

“:(( okaaaay, good luck on your exam, love u!”

“<3”

You put your phone away and sighed. You missed Zeke too. The few days after you had confronted him about the time you thought you saw Yelena and him kissing, he had showered you with love. You had spent the weekend at his place wearing nothing but an old t-shirt of his and making love several times a day. You snuggled to him on the couch as he watched an old documentary and playfully took the cigar from his lips and took a puff yourself. ‘Ladies like you shouldn’t smoke,’ he had said playfully as he took it back from your lips and then pressed a kiss on your temple.

Nevertheless, the short honeymoon phase after you made up had come to an end. You knew it was going to happen, but now your body and heart were craving more of him and his classes were taking all his time. If it wasn’t an exam it was a group project or a study session and even if you knew seniors had it way harder than you, you missed him. Missed his beard scratching your neck, his strong cologne and his deep chuckle whenever you managed to make him smile.

Maybe you could walk around the mall. You still had some birthday money and you could treat yourself a little. Maybe a new body cream or a pair of cute underwear from Victoria Secret to surprise your boyfriend after he was done with his classes. Yes, a shopping trip was exactly what you needed to stop thinking so much. Smiling, you walked to the bathroom of your faculty, just a quick detour to freshen up before you got into your car. 

You looked at yourself in the mirror and took out your lipstick, fixing it carefully.

“I fucking hate her.”

You turned around as you saw three girls entering the bathroom. They stood by your side, none of them seeming to notice your presence. One of them fixing her hair, another was looking down at her phone, eyebrows knitted together and mumbling more and more curses and the last one just leaned against the bathroom stalls, arms crossed against her chest as she watched the other two.

“We did tell you she wasn’t meant to be trusted,” she reminded the girl with the phone. When she raised her head, you recognized her as Pieck, one of Porco’s close friends, who you had seen around at a lot of parties and on many of his Instagram photos.

“How is that helping me?” Pieck asked icily.

“I’m just saying, Yelena is shady. Telling you all that crap about only being able to open up with you— and for what? For her to post photo after photo of her fuckboy?” the girl in front of the mirror said. “Like, nobody needs to know you’re getting it at the library, why post about it? Literally, nobody cares.”

“She’s not worth it,” the other girl interjected. 

“She really isn’t, babe. And Zeke isn’t even that hot,” her friend continued with a mocking laugh. “The one that looks like a clown is her, not you. Just let it go.”

“He truly is a bad case of the monkey face,” Pieck agreed with a snort. “Men like that are what keep me a lesbian.”

“Hi Pieck,” you greeted her. For the first time, Pieck looked your way and widened her eyes, recognizing you in an instant.

“Hey,” she said in an apologetic voice. “I— I’m sorry. Shouldn’t have said that.”

You faked a chuckle. “It’s okay. I just wanted to say you shouldn’t worry about them, Yelena is—”

“Yeah, yeah, we both shouldn’t worry. You’re probably trying to move on and ignore them too,” Pieck sighed and then pursed her lips in discomfort. “But I know you were Zeke’s girlfriend for a while, it’s normal you don’t want to hear about who he’s fucking now—”

“Zeke and I are still together,” you interrupted her.

Pieck’s face fell at your words. She looked at her friends, who were also looking at each other with an indecipherable expression. Your furrowed your eyebrows, confused as to why they were sharing those glances. Why would they think you weren’t with Zeke? Sure, you hadn’t posted photos with him lately but that didn’t mean you weren’t together anymore.

“I’ll catch up with you in a bit,” Pieck said softly to her friends. They nodded and said they would be by the cafeteria before leaving. Once they went away, Pieck closed the bathroom door and walked to you again.

“Why— why would you think we’re not together?” you insisted, your voice trembling more than you would have wanted.

“Yelena and Zeke are fucking,” she sentenced in a soft voice. You shook your head.

“I know that’s what it looks like but Yelena likes women,” you said. “You— I mean you guys were dating or something, right? You know she’s a lesbian, she’s just pretending to have something with Zeke so her parents back off for a while.”

Pieck’s silence was deafening.

“Right?” you pushed. “It’s cool because she’s a lesbian and—”

“Yelena is bisexual.”

You paused, blinking as you tried to understand. After a few seconds, you shook your head.

“She’s not.”

“The reason we’re not dating anymore is because I saw her fucking Zeke at a party,” she explained.

“No,” you said, and shook your head once more. “No, because if it happened at a party then someone would have seen them. Someone would have noticed, there would have been rumours, I would have  known . Pieck, someone would have told me, Reiner, Marcel, Porco—”

“They weren’t there. Almost everyone was a senior.”

“Then you! You would have told me,” you cried. “You’re telling me you saw my boyfriend fucking someone else and didn’t tell me!? Pieck—!”

“I thought you weren’t together anymore!” she defended herself. “What was I supposed to think when every single one of his friends at that shitty apartment knew he was fucking her in the bedroom and they all acted like it was a normal thing to do? I see all these photos of both of them and…” she continued, shaking her phone. “Of course I think he’s not with you anymore! Yelena is uploading pictures as she rests her legs on his lap, about their movie dates at his place and you want me to think she has a girlfriend!?”

Tears started falling from your eyes as she spoke. You sniffled, trying to compose yourself but you could feel every muscle of your body shaking.

“Does Porco know?” you asked in a whisper.

“Porco?”

“I know you two are best friends since high school. You— you had to tell him. If this was real, if this happened, you had to tell Porco,” you reasoned. “So tell me, Pieck, does Porco know?” you insisted, raising your voice, hating the way it cracked at the end.

Pieck shook her head. “I told him Yelena cheated on me, didn’t tell him with who.”

“Why?”

“Because he told me not to date Yelena, said she wasn’t a good person. I didn’t want to prove Porco right, you know him,” Pieck said with a small shrug.

You nodded idly, your eyes lost. No. It didn’t make sense, it didn’t— even if it did. It did make sense but it  couldn’t make sense. Because if Pieck was right, if Yelena and Zeke were—

No.

“Give me a date,” you whispered.

“What?”

“When was this?”

“I don’t— Two weeks ago?”

“I need to know the exact date, Pieck.”

“Girl, I don’t remember exactly, I—”

“Give me a date, Pieck!” you sobbed, raising your voice. She sighed and nodded, taking out her phone.

You watched as Pieck went through her messages with Yelena, scrolling up as she tried to remember the date. Your breath was hitching, inhaling more than you were exhaling but you didn’t care. You wanted to know when it was. Pieck was going to tell you it happened on a date where he was with you. She was going to say it happened one of the nights you and Zeke stayed the weekend at his place and then you would know she’s lying. Yes, that was going to happen. She would tumble over her own lie and this nightmare would be over.

“March 31st,” Pieck murmured. “I kept texting her, asking where she was before I went to look for her,” she reminisced, before showing you her phone.

.

.

                                                            00:36

. 

                                                                                           lena where are u

                                                                                                            ?????

                                          why are my friends saying you’re with zeke rn

                                                                                         yelena answer me

                                                                                    fuck u i’m going there

                                                            01:19

 .

                                                FUCK YOU YELENA YOURE THE WORST

                                                                  PIECE OF SHIT IVE EVER MET

                                                                            REALLY???? ZEKE?????

                                                                           HOPE YOU GET HERPES

                                                                                 I FUCKING HATE YOU

babe, i’m sorry

can we talk?

.

. 

A bitter taste crept inside your mouth as you took out your phone and went through yours and Zeke’s messages, looking desperately for the date. It was the weekend you spent together. It had to be. The memories of Zeke’s kitchen calendar that said April were lying to you. It had to be March. Or maybe he changed the calendar because he was with you on March 31st.

You scrolled up until March and went to read the messages exchanged on that day.

.

.

                                                            07:23

.

Good morning! I know it’s really early

But I want to see you today <3

Meet me at the tennis court?

                                                                                  sure, i’ll take an uber :)

.

.

Silent sobs escaped your mouth as your phone started shaking in your trembling hands. Pieck whispered apologies and you wanted nothing more than to tell her to shut up, that it wasn’t her fault, that she wasn’t the one that swore she wanted to marry you and then went to fuck someone else at a party, not caring if he was seen or not.

But it wasn’t true. Zeke said it was just a ruse, that Yelena just wanted to hide her queerness, that they were just good friends. He said so. Pieck had to be lying, she had to be. She was just messing with you, lying to see how much you could believe her. Because Zeke wouldn’t do that, you were the one he trusted, you were the one he was going to marry, you—

Pieck was still holding her phone in front of you.

With the very same date.

And Yelena admitting her crime.

But it couldn't be right. There had to be a mistake because Zeke loved you. He loved you and he had told you about his family, he had taken you to meet his grandparents, he promised he hadn’t kissed Yelena that night, he—

Had he not kissed her?

Was it only a movie night?

…

No, it hadn’t.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Pieck’s voice sounded far, your lips parted as you tried to gasp for air. You lifted your head and saw her lips moving but you couldn’t hear any sound but your heart beating out of your chest. Tingles started creeping on your fingers and without you being able to do anything to prevent it, you dropped your phone on the bathroom floor.

Why didn’t it make a sound?

Why were your fingers numb?

You lifted your head and Pieck was gone. Dismissing her sudden disappearance, you crouched down and picked your phone. You winced at the huge crack on your screen and slid your finger several times over it until you could press on Zeke’s contact and call him.

As his phone rang, you pressed your back on the wall, slowly sinking until you were sitting on the floor.

“Baby, I told you I was studying for this test, I can’t—”

“I know about you and Yelena,” you said in a broken voice. You heard him let out an annoyed sigh on the other line.

“Didn’t we talk about this already? I told you she’s not—”

“I know about the party. The day we played baseball and— that same night you went to a party and fucked her,” you sobbed. You wiped the tears on your face with the back of your hand. “Zeke, tell me it’s a lie, tell me you didn’t do this, please,  please  tell me you didn’t really fuck Yelena,” you begged. “Please.”

“You know what? Get some help. Like, psychological help. This isn’t normal.”

The silence after Zeke hung up choked you. Your chest rose up and down as you sobbed uncontrollably. Your brain was screaming. Loudly. ‘Make it stop,’ you told yourself. ‘Get it together. Make it stop.’

Make it stop.

                         Make it stop.

                                                 Make it stop.

                                                                         Make it stop.

                                                                                                 Make it stop.

 It’s a lie.

                                                                                                  Make it stop.

He lied to you.

                                                                                                              Stop.

He fucked her.

                                                                                                 Please, stop.

He lied.

                                                                                              I can’t breathe.

.

.

                                             Inhale.

                                                                            Exhale.

                                            Inhale.

                                                                            Exhale.

                                            Inhale.

                                                            Inhale. 

                                                            Inhale. 

                                                            Inhale.

.

.

…

When you woke up, Porco was there.

Your head felt heavy as you tried to sit up, rubbing your eyes. A quick look around let you know you were in your apartment but you weren’t sure as to  how , or why your friend was there, his phone on his lap and his eyes looking at you filled with worry.

He whispered your name as if his voice could hurt you. “How are you feeling?”

“What are you doing here?” you asked groggily. You noticed your throat was hurting as well. “What hour is it?” you mumbled as you palmed your jean pockets looking for your phone. You found it hidden between two pillows and pressed the power button, trying to see if you had any unread messages.

None.

“Pieck called me,” Porco explained. “And it’s eight and a half.”

Pieck. Pieck with her friends in the bathroom, Pieck with the text messages. Everything came back to you in a second and you couldn’t help but wince at the way your head hurt.

“How are you feeling?” he insisted. You took a deep breath. The small movement made you realize how much the muscles of your back were hurting along with your arms. You licked your lips, hating how dry they felt against your tongue.

“I broke my phone.”

Porco furrowed his eyebrows. “What?”

“I— I dropped it. There’s a crack on the screen.”

He nodded slowly and looked down at his shoes, his forearms resting on his knees. You could almost listen to his loud thoughts, one coming after another inside his head. Porco sighed and turned his head back to you.

“Want me to get it fixed? Marcel knows a guy, I’m sure he can get it done by tomorrow.”

“No, it’s okay. It’s working just fine,” you said, passing your thumb over the crack. “No need to change it.”

Porco watched your eyes get lost on the dark screen and tightened his lips. He had the urge to throw your phone out of your window, make you understand you had to leave it, that it wasn’t good for you, that you didn’t need it, that you didn’t need  him —

Instead, he nodded.

“What happened?” you asked.

Porco paused, deliberating his words before speaking. “Pieck called and told me what you guys talked about and that… you didn’t take it well. She said you were crying and— that you had a panic attack, so she left the bathroom to look for help. She found Armin and he was the one that helped you regain your breath. Once you settle down, he called Annie to tell her what happened and she picked you up. When I got here you were already asleep on the couch, Annie said it was okay if I waited here.”

“I… don’t remember much,” you confessed with a grimace. “I don’t remember Armin helping me out. I— I do remember what Pieck and I talked about, though. Wish I could forget it instead,” you snorted. 

“Wanna talk about it?”

You shook your head.  Ouch . Why did every muscle of your body hurt so much?

“Wanna watch some shitty reality TV?” he offered. He didn’t miss the way a small smile appeared on your face.

In a matter of minutes, Porco had gone into your room and brought your laptop, and started looking for the show on Netflix. He put your laptop on his thighs and let you crawl by his side, your head resting against his shoulder.

“Wish they had Ink Master,” you sighed, as the intro of Netflix’s newest reality show played on your screen.

“We both know Netflix doesn’t have good shows.”

You snorted. “Black Mirror is good.”

“And yet we’re watching The Circle,” Porco teased you.

“Weren’t you the one that binged Season 1 on one night and then asked me to do the same so you could rant?” you reminded him with a playful tone.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he replied nonchalantly, making you chuckle.

What followed next was a comfortable silence. One episode went by and Porco made no attempts to stop it from automatically playing the second episode. You snuggled closer, the fabric of his green jacket feeling nice against your cheek. How long had it been since you felt so much peace with someone else by your side?

In any other situation, you would be commenting on it, pressing pause just to bitch and rant about the contestants or make quick runs to the kitchen. But Porco was sitting still, his eyes fixed on the screen and his arms crossed in front of his chest. He was trying to comfort you the best way he could, knowing any words would fail, he aimed to create a safe space for you and not force you to behave normally when you both knew better than to completely ignore what had happened earlier.

Right. Zeke.

You felt your eyes watering and bit the inside of your cheek to prevent them from falling down. Focusing on your breath, you inhaled and exhaled rhythmically until the knot in your throat seemed to loosen up. Your feelings towards Zeke were confusing, a part of you wanting to run, look for him and demand an explanation. Another part of you wanted to face with, punch his stupid little face until you got tired and leave him on the floor. And another, maybe a bigger part of you wanted him to cradle you in his strong arms, kiss your temple and scratch your skin with his beard as he whispered sweet nothings to you.

You swallowed. Maybe Zeke was right. Maybe you did need psychological help.

Could you trust his words if he were to provide another explanation? Could you ever trust in him again? Most of all, could you trust yourself? Many voices had different opinions inside your head, yet they all agreed on something.

You were miserable.

“Every time I’m not with him, I’m anxious,” you mumbled, the words leaving your mouth before you thought them over. Porco moved his hand to pause the show, but you gestured to him not to. “And when he’s with me…” you continued, “I feel like I’m drowning.”

Your voice cracked at the end. Porco’s hand twitched, not sure what to do next. Should he hold you, put an arm around your shoulder to comfort you? Should he not move a muscle until you were done? Should he offer a word of comfort? He turned his head to you and noticed tears were silently streaming down your face.

“If Zeke was in front of me right now and told me Pieck lied her ass off, even after all the proof she showed me today… I would believe him. I would,” you sobbed. “And I hate myself so much for it. I’m so tired of this, I’m so tired of loving him, Pock.”

Porco’s hand cupped your head, his fingers gently caressing your hair. You snuggled closer to him, his perfume soothing the pain inside your heart and his gentle gesture comforting you. That was the magic Porco had. You knew he wasn’t always good with his words and most of the time he preferred to show rather than tell and boy, did he do a spectacular good job at showing you how much he cared.

He was there. Even after you had been ignoring him for over two weeks, he was here with his green jacket and his earthy-scented perfume ready to hold you if you needed him. And you did. You could never think of a moment where you wouldn’t want him to be there with you. 

You wiped your face with the back of your hand and reluctantly pulled away from his touch, turning on your seat so you were facing him. You paused your show and put a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“Thank you,” you said, biting down your bottom lip. “For being here and waiting until I woke up. I— I’ve been such a bad friend to you,” you sighed. “I’m so sorry, I just—”

Porco shook his head. “No. I’m sorry for what I said the night I stayed here.”

“No, you don’t need to— I mean— I wasn’t mad about it,” you fumbled with your words, feeling your cheeks heat up.

“I don’t know,” Porco shrugged. “Felt like I made you uncomfortable.”

“You didn’t,” you assured him. “Thank you for staying with me that night. I really didn’t want to be alone.”

“I just— Can I say something else? Promise this is the last time I talk about it.” You nodded. “I didn’t love you the first time I met you,” he blurted, shrugging. “I mean, it’s not like I saw you and caught feelings— first time I saw you you were drunk off your ass at Reiner’s party. I was your friend first. Still am, nothing will change that. And honestly? I wouldn’t be surprised if my feelings went away,” he chuckled. “Who knows. Might finally meet someone else and fall for them.”

“Yeah, maybe you’ll meet someone,” you agreed with a strained smile.

“Whatever happens, know that before anything else, I’m your friend,” Porco said, golden eyes setting on yours. “And that will never change. You’re stuck with me.”

“And you’re stuck with me.”

“See any other reason why I’m watching a shitty reality show on a Tuesday night?”

At this, you hit Porco with one of the pillows, square on his face. You couldn’t help but laugh at his stunned face.

“You’re  so  fucked,” he said, putting the laptop on the coffee table in front of him.

You took this as a sign to run, the ache in your muscles forgotten at the back of your head as you tried to dodge the pillows Porco was throwing at you. Your legs weren’t weak anymore, as you quickly jumped to avoid the furniture and picked up one of the pillows to throw it back at him. Your heart was no longer aching, but jumping as you cackled when Porco tripped and fell. Even if your eyes were watering again, this time was due to the excessive laughter. And yes, your breath was hitching but it was thanks to Porco chasing you around the living room.

You let yourself fall on the floor next to Porco, the coldness of the floor soothing your skin as he dramatically held his knee against his chest like an injured soccer player. You turned your head to him, smiling at his antics as he filled your heart with happiness once  more.

Maybe that had been his power all along.

[yoddream]

You and Jeno were the best of friends. Growing up together, you saw each other’s good and bad moments, learned every flaw, and knew every fact. It was hard to separate the two of you, even in high school. You even started attending the same college. There wasn’t a single friend one had that the other didn’t.

Then, Jeno got a girlfriend.

There was nothing wrong with Yeeun. She was an absolute sweetheart and was always so nice to you. She made Jeno really happy, which was all you ever wanted. The problem was that Jeno seemed to give her all his time. It started out small, with him ditching you some days for lunch to have it with her instead. Then, he wouldn’t be able to make it to a hangout with your friends because he was taking her on a date. That turned into him canceling at the last minute. Soon, every lunch was spent with Yeeun. He stopped responding in the group chat as much. Sometimes he would leave you on read.

The last straw was him not showing up to movie night anymore, only to show up the next day with a bunch of hickeys on his neck. Movie nights started when you guys were toddlers. They were sacred and only canceled for emergencies or an illness. If anyone was on vacation, you would FaceTime and watch together. There was no excuse for him to miss movie nights.

That one broke you.

You couldn’t count how many times Jaemin held you as you cried yourself to sleep, knowing you’d practically lost your best friend. You hadn’t hung out with him in a long time, and it felt like a part of you was missing. It was obvious the others were worried about you, but they felt helpless. The bags under your eyes refused to disappear. You ate, but it wasn’t very much. You fell into a deep depression, and they did everything they could to get you out of it.

Were you too reliant on Jeno? Probably, but this wasn’t somebody you’d met recently; this was somebody you’d potty trained with, someone who gave you his stuffed dog when an older kid pushed you off the jungle gym and broke your arm, somebody who knew every secret you had. He was very special to you, and just like that, he was gone.

///

Jeno: hey, wanna get ice cream?

The text stared back at you. You rubbed at your eyes to make sure it wasn’t a dream, and sure enough, it was still on your screen, waiting for a response. You hadn’t showered in almost a week, which you knew annoyed Haechan because he had to smell you all the time since he was your roommate, and your face was covered in acne. You looked like this, and he suddenly wanted to hang out? Normally, you didn’t care how you looked when you hung out with your friends, but this was different. Jeno could see that you weren’t doing well, and you didn’t want that.

Wait.

You knew why he wanted to hang out.

He and Yeeun broke up.

That was the only explanation. Why else would he try to make plans? The last time you hung out alone was almost three months ago. You really only saw him when the group made plans and he wasn’t canceling to be with Yeeun. Why you, though? Why not the whole group?

You: yeah gimme an hour

When he sent a thumbs up emoji, you threw your phone down and raced to the bathroom. You took extra time in the shower to make sure everything was washed and fresh before getting out. Once you were dressed, you put on makeup, making sure to cover all the acne on your face. After deeming yourself presentable, you texted Jeno to ask where you were going for ice cream. He suggested the place near your apartment, so you grabbed your things and headed out, glad that Haechan wasn’t there to question you.

The ice cream place wasn’t far, but Jeno still managed to get there before you. As you approached him, you debated giving him a hug or not. It’s been so long, you didn’t know if it was okay anymore. It sounded insane, but his change in behavior made you question every action.

“Hey!” Jeno greeted you with his bright smile. It didn’t quite reach his eyes, but he still looked adorable. You waved to him and reached for the door, but he beat you to it and held it open for you.

The inside of the ice cream shop was cute, with pastel walls and cartoon cows painted on the counter. The tables were a light pink with white legs, and same with the chairs. It was small, but you two loved going there. You ordered and paid before bringing your cups to the table Jeno chose. He thanked you and dug in, not hesitating to eat his feelings.

“So, you and Yeeun broke up?” you asked.

He stopped eating. “How did you know?”

You paused. How could you explain it without either hurting his feelings or getting into an argument? Telling him the truth would surely change the vibe, and not for the better. “...Lucky guess.”

“Huh. Well, yeah. She broke up with me. I don’t even know why, though. She refused to tell me,” he explained, stabbing his spoon into his ice cream. “Like, was it something I did? Is it something I need to work on so that my next relationship lasts?”

“You think you won’t get back together?” you questioned.

He shrugged. “I mean, if she wants to, then I will, but that’s also if I still want to date her by the time she decided. It just sucks, because I thought things were going well. The sex was great, we got along really well, and we never fought. To be dumped just like that is just very strange.”

You winced at the comment about their sex lives, not really wanting to know in the first place. It did seem very out of the blue for her to break up with him, but you tried not to dwell too much on it. It would only upset him more.

The two of you caught up, but it seemed like he didn’t realize just how absent he was from your life. He asked about your classes and your family, wondering how they were doing since he hadn’t seen them in a while. You asked the same and also questioned if he’d made any friends, which he hadn’t. So all his time was spent with just Yeeun, it seemed.

When it was time to head back to your apartment, Jeno hugged you goodbye before heading the opposite direction. Your feet dragged, your body screaming for you to return to Jeno and get as much attention from him as possible, but you had homework you needed to work on, so you continued home.

///

“Jesus, just like that?” Jaemin asked Jeno.

The two of them were hanging out at Jaemin’s apartment, playing video games and talking about the break up. When Jaemin found out, he immediately called the other man and invited him over. They were catching up on things when Jaemin had asked about the break up, and Jeno told him everything.

“Just like that. No explanation. How the hell am I supposed to feel about that? Angry? Sad? I need something so I know how to process it,” Jeno ranted.

“Who else knows?”

“Well, Y/N figured it out when we went out for ice cream.”

“Wait, you hung out with Y/N?” Jaemin asked.

“Is it really that surprising?”

“Considering you practically dropped her, yeah.”

“What do you mean?”

“Dude, ever since you and Yeeun started dating, you’ve bailed on all your plans with Y/N. We tried to get her to give up, but she still had hope.”

Jeno’s heart started to race. Surely he didn’t do that to his best friend, right? Pulling out his phone, he opened his texts with you, and his stomach dropped at all the times he canceled on you, said he already had plans, or just left you on read. For months, you put up with it without saying a word to him. For months, you tried to keep your friendship going, and what did he do? Nothing.

“I’ve gotta go,” Jeno stated as he ran towards the door.

“What? Where are you going?” Jaemin called out.

“I need to fix this.”

Without elaborating, Jeno left the apartment and ran down the stairs. When he got outside, he hopped into his car and sped to your place. He couldn’t believe he did that. No wonder you seemed a little uncomfortable the other day. You didn’t know how to act around him anymore. He really fucked up.

Before he knew it, he was knocking on your apartment door. It took a few seconds, but then you were looking at him with wide eyes, clearly not expecting him to be standing there. He took in the dark circles under your eyes and the stress acne he knew you got whenever you were depressed and said, “I’ve been a really bad friend, haven’t I?”

The tears fell before it even registered that your eyes were watering. Soon, you were sobbing into Jeno’s shoulder as he stepped in and tried to soothe you. You started to hyperventilate, the emotions overwhelming you.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Y/N. It’s okay, though I’m here now,” he stated, repeating his words softly.

He managed to move the two of you to your room, lying on your bed with you wrapped in his arms. You continued to cry, and it surprised you that you had any tears left. He rubbed your back and pressed kisses to your hair, just like he did whenever your depression got really bad. He felt extremely guilty for being the cause of your tears and sadness.

“I missed you so much,” you whined.

“I missed you too I’m so sorry I ditched you. I shouldn’t have done that,” he said. “I’ll do whatever I can to make it up to you.”

///

Dreamies (plus Y/N)

Haechan: (picture of you and Jeno sleeping in your bed with Jeno wrapped around you like a koala)

Haechan: all is right in the world again.

Jaemin: oh, that’s where he went.

Mark: Finally! I’m glad they’re working things out

Renjun: Good. I was really concerned about her

Chenle: look at Renjun having feelings

Haechan: gross

Jisung: seeing her cry made me cry so i’m glad they’re talking again

Chenle: you big baby

part two is here

[jortsaaaaaaart]

Three Hearts- Tendou x Reader x Ushijima

Soulmate AU- updates will be posted to https://archiveofourown.org/works/32830702/chapters/81464533

You remembered Sendai as being cold, so, so cold. The summers were short but they were also filled with many days spent exploring. You were part of a binational family. Your mother was from the United States, your father from Japan. Most of your early childhood was spent bouncing between the two countries before, finally, it was decided that the schools in Japan were much (much) better. It wasn’t too much of a culture shock. But the freedom Sendai offered was intoxicating. In Japanese culture it was perfectly acceptable to send your child out on errands, or let them visit the local park, on their own.

It was on one of these after school excursions that you ran into your future best friend. 

A humid June evening had you trailing along the bank of the local river. Cicadas and the current drowned out almost all other noise. You were debating turning back or taking a wade in the water when you saw a shock of red. There was another kid sitting by the river. One with a pretty vibrant bowl cut. However, when you got closer you realised his hair wasn't the only thing that was red.

"Uh, hey." You murmured, feeling more than a little awkward. "Are you okay?" He almost jumped out of his skin. Wide red eyes snapped towards you before hiding away.

The redhead hastily wiped at his eyes. "Y-Yeah."

"That didn't sound all that convincing." With a sigh you plopped down next to him, watching as he curled in on himself. You'd never been one to mind your own business, not even as a child. Seeing someone crying by themselves was an instant invitation for you to barge in and try to help.

"I'm fine."

"You're crying."

"No I'm not!"

"Hmm. . ." You leaned back, looking over the river. "So what's your name then? If you don't tell me I'll just have to call you cry baby."

“. . . It’s Tendou Satori.” He muttered. Tendou was eyeing you warily, like a stray dog afraid to take a treat from a stranger.

"I'm (L/N) (F/N). If you want me to leave I can, but you just looked so sad sitting here alone." You gave him the warmest smile you could before returning your attention to the water. Satori's red eyes stayed locked on you but he didn't ask you to leave. A few moments passed in silent solidarity before he spoke up.

"I'm usually alone."

"I know how you feel." You sighed.

"You do?"

"Well, yeah. I moved around so much before grade school that I don't know anyone here." You paused. "But, hey, now I know you, right?" Your smile made Tendou forget all about the tears. His cheeks flushed pink under the setting sun.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Asked Satori, who desperately wanted to believe you were being genuine. But years of abuse had a hold on his heart.

You blinked. "Why wouldn't I be nice?"

". . . 'Cause I. . . Everyone says I'm a-"

"Ah! Look guys, it's the monster!" A group of children walked up behind the two of you. They were pointing at Satori with mocking grins. "You shouldn't get so close to him, he'll gobble you up!"

"Monster?" You glanced over at him but he was purposefully avoiding your eyes. If possible he would've liked to completely melt into the grass. Away from everything and everybody. But you weren't sinking into the ground, you were rising up. The bullies took a step back as you stomped up the embankment. "What gives you the right to call him that, huh?"

"W-What?" The ringleader stammered. "You've seen him, he's a freak! He shouldn't be allowed near us normal huma-"

He fell to the ground, clutching his cheek. Everyone's eyes were wide and glued to you. 

"Y- You just punched me!?"

"And I'll do it again!" You stared down the boy while his friends helped him to his feet. Before you could say anything else, or fight a 1 v 4, someone grabbed your hand. Tendou dragged you away while you stuck your tongue out at the still stunned bullies. 

Neither of you would ever forget that day. It was the start of a lifelong friendship, and eventually, something more.

On your first year of middle school you officially learned what soulmates were. It was assumed most parents would give you the talk before then, but the school board wanted youths to be prepared. 

"They taught us about soulmates today in class." You were both lounging around in his room reading the newest Shonen Jump. You sat next to him on the bed, trying to keep up with his reading speed.

"Yeah?" You hummed.

"When you turn 18 your soulmate's name appears on your wrist. . . But, if you're older than them you have to wait for their birthday so the marks can appear at the same time. . . And then some people don't even get a soulmate." He wasn't paying attention to the manga anymore. His eyes were fixed to the floor while his brain waged war against itself. Tendou had been sure you were his soulmate since that first night. The butterflies in his stomach still hadn't gone away and every time he looked at you he felt like a pile of mush. 

But, still, the 'I think you're my soulmate.' died on his tongue replaced with something much more depreciating. "I'm probably one of those people. Monsters don't get soulmates after all." His grin was shaky at best and you saw right through it.

"Don't call yourself that." You chided. "And of course you have a soulmate, Tori. Someone out there doesn't know how lucky they are. Soulmates with the best volleyball ball player ever. And the greatest friend ever, too." 

You flopped down, holding your wrist in front of you. "I don't know if I'm excited or nervous."

"Well, it's a good thing, isn't it? Having a soulmate? You'll have someone who belongs with you and will love you no matter what." You pouted at him and he smiled, continuing with his speech. "I can't wait till we turn eighteen. And I know you can't wait either. Even if you're being a baby now."

Tendou had your eighteenth birthday planned out for years. Step one, he'd take you to the river where you met. Step two, shower you with presents and affection. And step three, wait for your soulmate's name, his name, to appear. Step four (profit), live happily ever after. However, like many things in life, it didn't go quite as planned.

On March 21st, right after the end of your final year of junior high, your mother died. It wasn't a shock, she had been sick for months, but the pain was still unbearable. Your mother's side of the family wanted to bury her in the family plot. An old tradition from an old, rural, part of America. Your father gladly handed the responsibility off to them. 

Tendou remembered begging his parents to let him see you off at the airport. He remembered how red and puffy your eyes were, the sad smile on your face when you promised him you'd be back soon. 

But you weren't. 

Your father was in no shape to take care of you. Burying himself in his work to try and forget his loss. February came around and you had your 16th birthday in America. The first year of highschool had started without you. Tendou sent you pictures from Shiratorizawa every day, making you promise to try and get back as soon as possible.

Another February came and went. Your father was getting better and you were slowly but surely convincing him Japan was the right place for you to be. Tendou texted you every day, talking to you about his volleyball matches, his friend Ushijima, how much he missed you. 

It was your third year of highschool and finally, finally, you were heading home. You told Tendou the news as soon as you knew. He seemed even more excited than you. You knew why, even if you didn't say it. Tendou had always been the one you thought of when you imagined your soulmate. But. . . There was something else you couldn't quite put your finger on. The whole thing made you nervous, so you kept your feelings to yourself. 

Tendou stayed up all night on your birthday, hoping, praying. His eyes never left his wrist for a second and finally at 2:45 a.m. , something happened. Your name, in your sloppy, too quick, handwriting, appeared. The relief of ten years of wondering washed over him. He laughed, breathless and giddy. He immediately messaged you, sending you a picture of his wrist before a barrage of messages, most of them legible.

A minute passed by, then ten, then twenty. . .

You had to see it too, right? So why hadn't you said anything? You hadn't called, texted, or, hell, even emailed him. Tendou started to feel his heart sink with each passing moment. 

What if you were disappointed?

Tendou's breath caught in his throat and he could feel his face burn. His phone clattered to the ground as he sank down into his bed. He tried to calm himself down, he didn't know what time it was where you were. Maybe you were out celebrating your birthday or sleeping? He just needed to sleep it off and give you time to respond.

Chest tight, Tendou waited. He waited till hours turned to days and suddenly it was March and his heart was broken. He wasn't sure what was going on at this point. You two had almost never gone a day without talking. But you hadn't read any of his texts or snaps. Eventually he stopped messaging you all together.

But he hadn't given up. He knew you were flying back to Japan soon and he was determined to ask you what the hell was going on.

By mid March you had moved back into your old home. Your father had graciously gotten a moving company for you and your meager belongings. Somehow he failed to show up himself though. You didn't blame him though, he was busy and you haven't been the best company recently. Before leaving America your grandma had begun calling you the walking dead. You were barely sleeping, your eyes were puffy with designer bags hanging heavily underneath. She understood why you were feeling so down and she was empathetic, but the rest of your small town wasn't.

You thought about the timing of it all as you began to unpack. The first box, full of books and notes, was barely empty before the doorbell rang.

Tendou was standing on your doorstep. Your soulmate was standing before you, and your first thought was to shrink back and pretend you weren't home.

He rang the bell again. "(Y/N)! I know you're home! I just. . . I just want to talk okay? . . . Please?"

Tendou stepped back as the door swung open. You were holding your wrist close to your chest, looking anywhere but at him. He could see how red your eyes were, though, and thought they matched his completely.

"Why?" He muttered. One pitiful idiot to another. "Was it so fucking awful? Having my name on your wrist?"

"It wasn't. . ." You started. "Tendou, it wasn't just your name." 

[captainmarkone]

Chapter Two. characters: ransom drysdale x reader. warnings: none (for now), slow burn type of thing. summary: Hugh Drysdale is known for being a well known playboy; the only son of real estate mogul Linda Drysdale, the oldest grandson of famed Author and Publisher Harlan Thrombey. Not knowing what real love is, not knowing where and who to get it from until he meets someone... something that could possible change him and his life all together. But it'll take a real good woman to do so. a/n: second installment of this Ransom fic. I hope you all love it. if you see mistakes, no you didn't. this was written on my phone and not thuroughly proofread. whoopsie.

Homecoming Dance was just around the corner and I was the lucky member of staff to be a chaperone. Voluntold as they like to say. I had no choice but to agree. Not like I had anything planned for the weekend, especially Saturday night.

“Tickets will be sold at the day of the dance. And if any one has someone that would like to volunteer for the dance to be a chaperone, please contact me or the principal or even Mr. Levinson,” I said, putting my number up with the principal and Mr. Levinson number.

“Please let them call or text us before Friday, please!” I expressed, the bell ringing. Dismissing the class, I smiled at each one and waved them off.

Sighing softly, I sat down at my desk and sat back against the chair. Spinning slowly toward the board and looking at the names of those that needed to turn in late assignments.

“I’ve gotten four calls in the last hour,” Ari said, sitting at a student desk that was in front of mine. His hands gripping the front of it as he sat. He chuckled softly. “All of them women. But I did say yes to all of them,” he muttered, leaning back against the seat.

I smiled at him, shaking my head as I watched him. “Well aren’t you so lucky. It must be because they think their kids' teacher is very attractive. I haven’t gotten any!” I said, soon hearing my phone vibrate on my desk. Scared me too. “Looks like my luck is about to change!”

“Hello?” I answered, a familiar voice on the other end. “Hu- Ransom! Hi there. You’d like to…. Chaperone? Didn’t peg you for the chaperone type. For a high school homecoming dance,” I teased, I could see Ari lifting his brow.

“Yeah well, I don’t have much to do on a Saturday night,” Ransom said. He did, but he’d much rather get to know her.

“Well, I’ll put your name down. I’ll even use ‘Ransom’ as preferred name,” I said, smiling as I wrote his name down. “Great. Saturday. 5 pm. Sound good?” I confirmed and he answered ‘yes’. “See you then,” I said, hanging up.

Ari looked at me, smiling wide as he let out a soft chuckle. “Was that… you flirting?” He asked, tilting his head slightly.

“What? No. He’s cute but no. Agh, maybe. He drove up next to me when I was walking to my car. Said he wanted to make sure I got in my car safely,” I confessed, smiling softly to myself. My eyes glanced at Ari, who was just watching me thoughtfully.

“Seems he might think you’re cute too,” he said, soon standing to his feet and smiled softly. “See you Saturday,” he said, knocking his knuckle on my desk before exiting.

SATURDAY NIGHT --

The weekend had finally rolled by. Every student telling me about their dresses, suits, and other forms of attire they were planning to wear. Some even showing me pictures. I was happy my students were excited to show me, that they liked me enough to share.

Having been sent home to get dressed, I took the opportunity to look nice. After all, Ransom was going to appear. If he did. Shit. He might’ve changed his mind. Decided chaperoning was something dumb to do on a Saturday night.

‘Why are you even worried? Why do you even care? Jeez,’ I thought, shaking my head. The thoughts fleeting as I applied my mascara. Doing the final touches to the natural looking make up I decided to do.

I had dressed in the knee length red dress that had a floral pattern and the sleeves weren’t that long; cutting at the middle of my upper arms, strings tied into a not so perfect bow.

I slipped on my nude, two inch heeled sandal. The one that didn’t have the strap that wrapped around my ankle. Looking myself in the mirror, I fixed my dress. Leaving my bed room, I made it to the front door of my apartment. Unlocking the door and grabbing my small purse in the process. I walked out and made my way down the stairs, happy I only lived on the second floor.

Getting into my car, immediately locking the door, I started it up and leaned against the seat while pulling on my seatbelt.

I made to the school in time, an hour before the gym doors opened for the dance. Getting out of my car, I locked it and rounded the back of my car when I heard someone say my name. Walking up next to me, Ransom slowed. Wearing a tan overcoat, a Persian scarf, and cable knit sweat underneath with slacks for his pants. His shoes a light brown to tie in the tan jacket. I smiled at him, while his lips turned up slightly.

“Wow. You clean up very nice,” I said, smiling warmly. “Wasn’t sure if you were actually gonna show up.”

He tilted his head at me, as if I was joking.

“Only because… who really wants to spend their Saturday night… chaperoning a high school dance,” I explained further, walking with the male toward the entrance of the gym.

“Wasn't too sure, either. Dances were never my thing unless I had a hot date and we hooked up behind the bleachers on the track field,” Ransom said, a smirk playing on his lips as he watched me. His eyes scanning me.

“Well, I definitely owe you one for coming. We only have you and another guy chaperoning today. Most are women. I was voluntold to be here,” I said, chuckling softly as we approached the gym. One of the yearbook committee kids at the table with another person; assuming someone to keep her company.

They greeted me, and I smiled at them. “Hi Maxine. Hi Danny,” I said.

Ransom opened the door for me and I walked in. He was soon beside me again, as if not wanting to get lost. “Don’t worry. It’s very hard to lost in a school like this,” I teased, walking to the large group of women that surrounded the refreshment table.

“All right, I’ll be giving everyone their duties! I have about ten of you. This is great! Oh, hey!” Ari was speaking to the group, waving at me when he saw me. “About time!” He exclaimed, eyes shifting to the male beside me.

“You must be Hugh Drysdale,” Ari said, “I’m Ari Levinson. Welcome!” He continued, looking at the list on his clipboard. I could have sworn I told Ari to call Hugh Ransom.

“It’s Ransom! Don’t call me Hugh,” Ransom said, smirking softly as he eyed Ari that soon shifted his gaze toward me then back to Ransom.

“Sorry man. Ransom. Got it,” Ari confirmed, and I nudged Ransom softly. I smiled and I could see his lips slowly turning into a smile.

Calling my name, Ari said, “I want you and Ransom at the refreshment areas. Around an hour in, we’ll rotate so everyone can get a chance to dance if they’d like to. Vilma,” he continued, telling the other ladies where they’d be.

“You look really beautiful tonight,” Ransom said as we walked around the table to set up the cups of punch. I smiled, letting a small chuckle escape my lips.

“Thank you,” I said, filling the last cup that would fit on the table.

The lights soon dimmed, the DJ playing a song as kids started to flow the gymnasium. Some dancing to the fast beats of the new music, some throwbacks being played. I continued to fill cups of punch, Ransom busy at the side of me and handing out plates of food. From the stage, I saw Ari come up to the mic. “Staff and volunteers, time to switch,” he said, telling the DJ to keep up the good work.

Ransom and I moved to the side as Vilma and Jackie took over the table. We covered the exit nearest us and that’s when a random slow song began to play.

“Wanna dance?” Someone said, and I looked to my left to see a student. Hand extended. “Why it’d be an honor!” I exclaimed, taking it and glancing at Ransom. Making my way to the dance floor with Frankie, I rested my hands on his shoulders as he didn’t quite have a growth spurt just yet. His hands rested in between my hips and waist.

“Sorry kid, but imma cut in. She owes me a dance,” Ransom interjected, hand on the kids shoulder. The kid nodded, stepping to the side and that was when Ransoms moved from my hip to his arm wrapping around my waist, his free hand taking mine and letting my other hand wrap around his neck.

“Why, Hugh. Didn’t know you could dance,” I said, smiling softly as I watched his features lighten.

“Hmm. Dancing is fun when you have someone beautiful as your partner,” he said, and I had to shake my head. Eyes looking into his, hand wrapped in his, my other playing at the hairs at the nape of his neck. It was a surreal moment.

In the corner of my eye, I could see Ari in the corner of the gym. Eyes locked on me. When I made eye contact with him, he smiled and looked away to tend to a task the he saw on his clipboard.

The song soon ended, and we drilled our movements. Eyes staring into his, I licked my lips nervously as his hand moved from my frame and his hand cupped my cheek.

“I don’t know… why or how, but for some reason I couldn’t get you out of my mind,” he muttered, eyes slowly drifting to my lips.

“I know your type Ransom Drysdale. And I will not be played,” I whispered, slowly moving from his trance. “One more dance?” I asked, continuing to play with his hair. He nodded in agreement, pulling me close.

From what I research about Ransom was that he was a playboy, a womanizer. Why was he so sudden in wanting to kiss me (at least I assumed he wanted to)? To be near me? To have his mind filled with thoughts of me? It burned in the back of my head. My guard was up, and it would never come down around Ransom. Not now, anyway.

[princessphilly]

Word Count: 4131

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CW: angst, angst, angst, angst, bad language, references to racism, angst.

“Bitch, if you do this, you are so dumb,” Jamila yelled over the group FaceTime. Lauren and Siobhan nodded while Karesha rolled her eyes at Nina.

Desiree stated, “You know how I feel about men butttt, you being dumb.”

“Jamila, do something dumb and take a picture with that guy you told us you fucked. I thought you said he was a hockey player. Distract the haters from Nina,” Karesha suggested.

Lauren added, “That’s a good idea.”

“Hold up, hold up, I told everyone about him because I DON’T plan on fucking him again. That dick was way tooooo good. Hell no,” Jamila exclaimed. 

Everyone snickered after that comment and Jamila pouted. Nina took in a deep breath. “I-I, I just can’t. I got people calling me all kinds of names, bitches stopping by my job taking pics, people. Then I got people who are being extra friendly to me and I just want to hide. Now, my lil cousin showed me that I got fangirls on tumblr! The hell??”

Jamila grimaced. “That’s part of fame.”

“I didn’t ask for this shit! He DIDN’T EVEN ASK ME TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND AND NOW THE WORLD IS TREATING ME LIKE I’M HIS GIRL,” Nina yelled. 

The chat got quiet for a couple minutes before Siobhan said, “Well, that was dumb on his part. So excited to finally get a chance that he’s fucking it up. Men.”

Desiree snickered before her face turned serious. “I think our girl caught feelings too. The Nina I know normally doesn’t have to make a decision with her girls about dropping a guy. She just does it.”

“But she’s telling us because she really doesn’t want to,” Lauren said with a smirk. 

Nina glared at her friends. They weren’t getting it. But before she could say anything else, Siobhan quietly said, “I hope you aren’t comparing yourself to his teammates’ girlfriends and wives. But I think you are.”

Sighing, NIna said, “I met them and while they were mostly nice, I’m a milk dud in a sea of milk. I stick out too much. Despite what they are all saying, Sidney’s just messing with me until he finds another, more suitable blonde.”

Nina’s friends all stared at Nina over the FaceTime chat before erupting. Then Lauren finally said over the furor, “I understand… because yeah, same shit with my ex. I was good enough until he met the perfect white girl of his dreams, no offense Siobhan. But, remember that night when that guy followed me? Trust me, I saw the way Sidney fucking Crosby was looking at you. If he’s looking just to play you before finding someone else, fuck, I’ll buy you a fucking Birkin.”

“Whoa,” Jamila and Desiree both uttered. Lauren was the stingiest of all of them so for her to talk about spending thousands of dollars on something, it had to be real. 

“Yeah, that sounds nice and everything but I need a break from all of this to recalibrate,” Nina finally said. “And we were supposed to be planning our trip since we couldn’t go anywhere overseas the past two years anyway.”

“Okay, let's talk about places to go because I want to go to Thailand,” Desiree replied, allowing Nina to change the subject. 

Nina let out a breath as everyone started talking about places to visit. Before their conversation tonight, she was sure that breaking it off was a good idea. Now, she was just confused.

**

“Hi, pretty girl,” Sidney drawled over the phone. 

Nina couldn’t help the shy smile come on her face at the pet name. “Hi, Sidney.”

Sidney frowned. Nina usually called him Sid now, Sidney Crosby if she was annoyed, Mr. Crosby if she was feeling sassy. Something felt off but he decided to ignore it for now. “Mario and Nathalie wanted to know if you were available for dinner next Sunday. Nathalie would love to meet you.”

“Hmm, I have an early class Monday morning so I’d just do dinner and that’s it,” NIna said. 

Sidney inwardly sighed. Maybe Nina was off because she decided to go back to school and she was starting to get in the middle of the semester. Maybe that was it. “So, do you want to come? I’ll pick you up and drop you off?”

“Just that, I need to be able to think on Monday so you can’t stay over,” Nina joked. 

Sidney snickered. “I’m sorry baby, I’ll be good and keep my hands to myself.”

“Bullshit.”

“I’ll keep my hands to myself, pretty girl, but we both know how much you love it when I touch you. Your skin is so soft and you feel so good.”

Nina gasped and Sidney felt like he heard her try to hold back a moan. He continued, “Especially when you make those little sounds-”

“Bye Sid,” Nina said firmly, trying to keep her mind from going into the gutter. It didn’t work when he laughed and she felt her core throb. Not even that filthy and she was ready to spread her legs for him. Nina was disappointed in herself. 

Sidney responded, “Bye, pretty girl.”

**

Sidney could tell that Nina was still off during dinner with Mario and Nathalie. She was herself; sparkling, kind, and sweet but Sidney could tell that she was going through the motions. He was feeling a bit frustrated; he didn’t know what was wrong so he could fix it. But something was wrong. 

Nina was truly enjoying herself as she talked with Mario and Nathalie but it felt like something was going on that she didn’t get. Like, the way they were looking at her, it felt like she was missing something. At the same time, the Lemieuxs’ were the quintessential hosts and Nina felt honored to have even stepped foot in their home, let alone had dinner with them. 

Later that night, after Sidney and Mario had stepped out to talk hockey, Nina rubbed her eyes. She suddenly felt super tired and she didn’t know why.

“You look tired,” Nathalie commented.

Nina shrugged before replying, “It’s been a lot going on.”

“Why do I feel like Sidney, who is normally good and planning and looking at all sides, just jumped into everything with you?”

Nina looked at Nathalie. Nathalie had a sympathetic expression on her face. “It’s overwhelming, isn’t it?”

“Very,” Nina said as she looked at her nails. “I don’t even know what is going on between Sidney and I anyway.”

Nathalie had a shocked expression on her face as she stated, “I had the impression that you two are a couple?”

“Everyone says we are a couple but I was never asked about being in a couple,” Nina grumbled. 

Nathalie wanted to shake Sidney. Even though she had heard only good things about Nina, Nathalie was prepared to judge her with a clean slate. After tonight, Nathalie really liked her, especially her independent spirit, something that would be very necessary for her dealing with Sidney and his life. But now, Nathalie really wanted to shake that boy hard because like most men, he put the cart before the horse. If she was a betting woman, Nathalie would bet that Nina was going to run screaming any moment now. 

Nina continued, “I like him but.. I really don’t like him right now, do you understand?”

“I totally understand. Mario told me about all of the internet hate you’re receiving. I’m lucky that the internet didn’t exist the way it does now when Mario and I first started dating and got married,” Nathalie commiserated. 

Nina took in several deep breaths. “I know everyone has said to ignore what other people are saying but, I’m just overwhelmed, you know.”

Nathalie decided that she was going to shake Sidney the next time she saw him after tonight. ‘Poor girl,’ she thought. 

Before the conversation could continue, the guys came back in and Nathalie saw Nina shut down and paste a pretty smile on her face. Nathalie sent Mario a look of concern as she watched Nina grip her glass tight.

Sidney noticed the same thing as Nathalie when he returned with Mario. As he made their way towards Nina’s apartment, Sidney asked, “Is everything okay? You seemed stressed.”

Nina took in a deep breath. It was either now or never. “This is going too fast, I need a break.”

Sidney flushed, his hand shaking around the steering wheel. Trying to keep his voice level, he asked, “What do you mean you need a break?”

Nina took in a deep breath. “This is too much. I agreed to go out with you once and now, I’ve been introduced to all your teammate’s significant others, met Mrs. Lemieux and it’s like you’re treating me like I'm your girlfriend.”

“But you are!”

“How?! How the hell am I your girlfriend when you never ever asked me? When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me,” Nina fumed. “You put me in a situation I didn’t even agree to. I have people coming to my job just to try to get a picture of me; people who would stake out my apartment if I didn’t have a doorman and security in my building. Your team’s PR is monitoring my social media accounts because every other dm i get is the n-word.”

Sidney paled and Nina continued, “Yeah, you just realized you did all this and you didn’t even ask if I wanted to be your girlfriend.”

“I’m sorry but fuck, I’ve always wanted you to be my girlfriend. I just assumed you felt the same,” Sidney protested. 

“Sidney, it’s just TOO much. I need time to process, I need a break. A break from you,” Nina said firmly. 

Sidney resisted the urge to yell at Nina. Yes, he fucked up by not asking her to be his girlfriend before everything but at the same time, he just wanted her to listen. But Nina seemed like she didn’t want to listen to anything. So instead, he asked, “How long do you want a break?”

“I don’t know… I mean, it could be a couple of weeks,” Nina replied. 

Sidney sat there stone faced as he drove. He didn’t know what to say. Sidney could feel his heart breaking into two for the first time ever and it was painful as hell. It was even more painful than when the Red Wings lifted the Cup in his first ever Stanley Cup finals. 

Nina picked at her nails. She thought she would feel relief but now, she felt worse than before. The silence felt deafening and oppressive until they reached her building. Sidney finally said, “I’ll give you space.”

“Thank you,” Nina quietly responded. Letting herself out of the car quietly, Nina sniffled. Holding herself together, she was able to just make it inside of her apartment before she started to cry. 

**

Karesha stared at her friend, not sure if she should shake her or hug her. Nina was in her work clothes, a fake smile on her face as she let Karesha into her apartment. Terrible Tess and Steely came running up to Karesha. After giving the pets some love, Karesha asked, “What did you do?”

Nina looked to the side. “I told him I needed a break.”

Sucking her lower lip into her mouth, Karesha stared at Nina again. She needed to shake her, definitely shake her. 

“Why?”

Nina closed her eyes before flopping on her couch. Karesha sat next to her and Nina put her hands over her face. “Look at me and look at him! Sidney’s fucking rich, famous, and such an awesome hockey player. I drive an used Lexus RX, I’m broke as fuck compared to him, and I’m not the kind of woman who ends up with a guy like him,” Nina mumbled. 

Karesha closed her eyes and counted to ten. Patience wasn’t her strong suit, especially with her friend who was normally the most cool, calm, and collected out of all of them. “Nina… trust me, you know I’ve done all kinds of shit. I’ve done shit that I’ll take to the grave with me. So trust me when I say, Sidney really, really likes you.” 

Karesha almost said “loves you” but she felt like that would have been too much as Nina shook her head. Nina said, “He probably just wanted to fuck me because I was unavailable for so long.”

“Girl… if he just wanted to say he smashed, he wouldn’t have taken you to dinner with one of his best friends, the Pens org wouldn’t have gotten involved when people were calling you names online, especially Mario fucking Lemieux. He fucking told you that the Lemieuxs had invited you two for dinner before you told him you needed a break. You’re more than a fucking fling.”

“Yeah, he’d do all that and then dump me when he met someone more appropriate,” Nina argued.

Karesha shook Nina before yelling, “Stop going online where the dumb fangirls and the haters are trying to fuck with your mind. It’s all bullshit. That man would do anything for you.”

Nina sat there, stony-faced while Karesha talked. ‘Like a fucking Aries,’ she thought. ‘So fucking stubborn.’ 

“Anyway, I brought cake and let's watch some trashy shit. Which Real Housewives are we watching, Atlanta, Beverly Hills, or old school New Jersey,” Karesha finally asked, changing the subject.

Nina decided, “I’m in the mood for ratchet so Atlanta. But I can’t watch too much, I have to study.”

“Study for what,” Karesha asked as she opened a bottle of wine. 

“I decided to go back for my PhD in rehabilitative science,” Nina replied. “Two more years of school but I’m excited.”

Karesha took a sip of her wine as Nina bit into a cupcake. “When were you going to tell anyone?”

“I had told Sidney-,” Nina began before she stopped. Nina closed her eyes when she realized the first person she told about her plans to get her PhD was Sidney before telling her family and her friends.

“Umm hmm.”

Karesha gave Nina a sly glance. She decided not to push it for now but it was obvious to her that Nina was lying to herself. Karesha knew her friend; unlike herself, Lauren, and Jamila, Nina tended to fall slowly but when she fell, she fell hard. So, in Karesha’s mind, Nina had to have started falling for Sidney back when she was working at the Lemieux Center, that was the only reason why Nina went out with him after she finally fucked him. Unlike the rest of them, Nina was the best at separating sex from feelings which had made her the queen of one night stands when they were younger. Sidney Crosby had quickly become more than a one night stand which convinced Karesha that Nina had feelings. 

Even though their conversation turned to the TV, Karesha made some mental plans to help her friend get back with her man, even though Nina wouldn’t admit to herself that he was her man.

**

Two Weeks Later

Sidney really wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone but some of the Pirates had come to the game. It was always good to be friendly with fellow athletes. But he had been in a funk ever since Nina said she wanted a break. Sidney was trying his best to give Nina space but she hadn’t even responded to his texts or calls. It felt like she was trying to break up with him and it hurt. At the same time, he didn’t want to push her. Nathalie had yelled at him and told him he had gone way too fast. But now, he felt like he was drowning and there was nothing to save him.

So, Sidney pasted in his best PR smile and mentally counted the minutes until when he could leave and drink his frustration away. Then a short Black woman stepped in front of him. Sidney bit back a curse as she looked him up and down. Then she bluntly said, “you look just as fucking horrible as Nina does.”

Geno, Tanger, and Rusty all winced. No one has brought Nina up since Sidney said she wanted a break. But their captain was going through it and it sucked. They all just hoped Sidney wouldn’t unload on the woman who they all knew was dating one of the Pirates.

Then she smiled and said, “My name is Karesha Lewis and I’m going to go and shake some sense into my bestie. Because she’s being a fucking idiot. God, she’s being an idiot right now.”

Gregory started, “Resha, what are you doing?”

But Karesha gave Sidney a sly look. “Nina’s at home, eating ice cream and torturing herself with the idea that you’ve already got a hot blonde over her and you, frankly, look like shit. But for some reason, she thinks bullshit on the internet is true and that you never really liked her.”

Sidney’s expression went from annoyance to shock to fury. “I gotta go,” he bit out.

Karesha watched Sidney go, waving. Kris looked at her, incredulous. “Do you know what you did?”

“Trust me, Nina’s too stubborn to admit she’s wrong yet and I decided to have pity on The Kid. Don’t worry, I’m going to give the best matron of honor speech ever.”

Geno snickered. “I guess Sid taking maintenance day tomorrow.”

**

Notes for her class were all over her table but Nina’s mind was elsewhere. It had been two weeks since she told Sidney she wanted a break, two long weeks. And she was pissed at herself because she was missing the fucking idiot. 

Nina missed his texts, his calls, the way he listened to her when she talked. She missed his laugh, his single-mind superstitions he followed on every gameday. The random food deliveries, as if Sidney knew she had skipped a meal for work or class or homework. The book suggestions, singing along to horrible pop music, shit that Nina knew he didn’t do around other people. Then… the sex.

Nina groaned, flopping face first into her sofa pillows. She was sure she was probably missing him more than usual because she was on her period. Today was day four after three days of a heavy flow, a blessing because it meant Nina wasn’t pregnant and that was always a threat even with condoms. “I’m just emotional,” she mumbled as she lifted herself off her face and returned to sitting upright. 

Managing to return to studying, Nina was jolted out of her reverie by the ringing of her doorbell. Knowing she didn’t order anything this Saturday night, she pulled out her trusty baseball bat while Steely stood on alert next to her. Looking into the peephole, Nina inwardly groaned when she saw Sidney standing outside of her place. “Fuck,” Nina exclaimed as she opened the door, ushering Sidney in because the idea of someone selling pictures of him standing outside of her apartment because she wouldn’t let him in was more disturbing than ignoring him. 

Sidney came in, Steely began to yap in excitement while Terrible Tess jumped off her seat on top of the window sill to walk around Sidney’s ankles. “Hi,” Sidney said. 

Nina felt a bit bad as she looked at Sidney. He looked good as ever, his salt and pepper hair hair curling attractively on his forehead and neck. But she could see the bags under his eyes and it was obvious that Sidney was keeping it together enough for the ice but he was definitely suffering.

“Hi,” Nina replied, putting her baseball bat back in place. 

Sidney looked at it before blinking his eyes in surprise. “You were really going to hit me with that?”

“I’m living alone and it’s 11pm on a Saturday night and I didn’t order anything? Yeah!”

“Thank you for not hitting me,” Sidney said sincerely. 

Nina shrugged before crossing her arms over her chest. “What brings you around here?”

“Do you really believe I was just playing with you, using you until I find someone supposedly more appropriate,” Sidney asked with disbelief. 

“I-,” Nina started but Sidney interrupted her. “Did you really think I wanted to fuck you until I found someone else? That I just wanted you because I couldn’t have you for so long?”

“Yeah,” Nina finally replied with a shrug. “Look at me and look at you and look at everyone else around you. I stick out.”

“Because you’re Black, so?”

Nina looked at the ceiling, ready to rip Sidney a new one after that statement. Closing her eyes, she counted to ten so that she could make sure she cursed him out without crying. Then Sidney said, “I mean, I’m pretty fucking clueless when it comes to race but fuck, you think that I was planning to use you because you’re Black and when I got tired, I’d go back to “my” kind,” using air quotes around the word my. 

“You wouldn’t be the first,” Nina said. 

Sidney closed his eyes. Emotions weren’t the easiest for him but he knew he couldn’t fuck this up. Moving closer to Nina, he grasped her hand. “Look at me, pretty girl.”

Nina closed her eyes before looking at Sidney. Sidney quietly stated, “No one has made me feel the way that you do. You are one of the kindest, intelligent, sweet, and loving women I’ve ever met. You are the literal sunshine and I’d be the biggest fucking fool to dump you for someone else now that I’ve actually had the chance to be with you.”

“And you… all this shit got dumped on me and you didn’t even ask me to be your girlfriend,” Nina complained as Sidney rubbed her hand. 

Squeezing her hand, Sidney admitted, “I fucked up. I wanted to ask that first night but then we had to take care of your friend and I, I just kept forgetting to bring it up. But, I want you to be my girlfriend.” 

Sidney already knew that he wanted Nina to be more than his girlfriend but he already fucked up enough.

Nina couldn’t help it, she had to ask, “What about with the team and everything?”

“I invested well and if I lose endorsements, fuck it. As for the team, Mario, Nathalie and the guys love you so that doesn’t matter,” Sidney firmly stated. 

After a pause, Sidney grabbed Nina’s other hand. He softly said, “I understand if you don’t want to date me, I’m sorry for going too fast. But I’d like to try again.”

“Honestly, I gotta think about it,” Nina admitted. “You’re a lot and being with you will be a lot. I’ll have to give up a lot. I have to think about how to make it work, not just for me but for my family.”

Sidney nodded. He was a bit disappointed but he also understood because he remembered how when he first became famous, it was a lot. The pressure as a teen, then making it to the NHL, the changes for his family. Sidney totally understood what Nina meant. 

Nina leaned up, pressing a kiss to Sidney’s cheek. “I’m not mad at you, at least right now. But I can’t promise you anything except I’ll call you by Wednesday,” Nina promised.

Sidney nodded before Terrible Tess started meowing. Picking up the cat, he petted her. 

“I still can’t believe she likes you so much,” Nina muttered. 

Sidney shrugged. “She knows I’m special,” he joked. 

“Give me my cat!”

Nina opened her arms and Sidney passed Tess to Nina. Awkwardly, Sidney said, “I guess I should go.”

“Yes, you should because I need to study,” Nina quipped. “I have a paper to write.”

“Ugh.” Sidney wrinkled his nose. Papers were awful. “Talk to you later?”

Nina said, “Yes, we will. Bye Sid.”

“Bye Nina,” Sidney said as he opened the door. He couldn’t help but grin when he heard Nina close and lock the door behind him. She called him Sid, that meant something good.

**

Nina slept fitfully after working on her paper. After seeing Sidney last night, she realized just how much she missed him. Nina had been that close to sliding to her knees to blow him when she saw Sidney in his suit. But that would have been a very bad idea so she didn’t do it. 

Drawing a t-chart on a piece of paper, Nina labeled one side “Pros” and the other side “Cons”. As she started to list the pros and the cons, Nina realized the list of pros was longer than the list of cons. Rubbing her forehead, Nina murmured to herself, “I’m going to have to make yoga a definite part of my life now.”

Decision made, Nina reached for her phone.

[heliads]

Hometown Memories

Sam Wilson left more behind in Delacroix, Louisiana than just his sister and his family home. Sometimes, memories of the past come more frequently than you’d expect.

masterlist

Sam’s only about half an hour from the harbor when he thinks he sees her.

By all accounts, it shouldn’t make sense. Not every rusted, dented car has to be hers, not every flash of a smile could belong to her. Sam hasn’t seen her in years, and even the memories of them are scarce and far between. Yet with every mile closer to his old home, Sam can’t help but remember. 

The car comes and goes beside him, but it doesn’t matter. He’s already lost in thought.

There had been a girl one street over and four houses down. She was only there half the year, her family always off on work trips and dragging her along. Sam always looked up when he heard the roar of a car’s engine down that road, just in case it was her. Most times it wasn’t, and he’d go back to whatever he was doing before with slightly less fervor, but sometimes it was, and he couldn’t help getting up just to make sure. Just to see if he was right.

She always ran down to the docks when she first arrived back home. You could tell it was her even from a distance, even when her back was turned. She’d jump down onto the wind-washed wooden slats, and pause for a second, letting the sun drown her whole. She’d stand still, and then by some magic she would be able to tell Sam was there and turn around, smiling. 

Back already? He’d ask, and she’d smile. We can only stay away for so long. They were young then, elementary schoolers then teenagers always returning to the water to escape from everything for just a second. Sam chuckles now to think of it. What he wouldn’t give to go back to those days, when the largest troubles seem like nothing now. But, he concedes, he wouldn’t truly be able to go back. You can’t turn back the clock forever, and the past must always stay in the past. That being said, Sam can’t seem to shake the habit of reminiscing.

Y/N L/N was one of many friends Sam made on the docks. She was also the only one like her, in a class entirely by herself. Sam can still picture the smile that flashed onto her face at anything and everything, like any small sunrise or happening was cause for a celebration. In times of worry, Sam sometimes wonders what she’d think of him. Does she know that he’s the Falcon now? Has she put the two together to realize that the broadly grinning boy from the boats is the same man with metal wings and a duty that never seems to stop growing heavier?

To be honest, if she saw him moping over the past she’d probably laugh. She’d cover the smile with her hand a second later, as if trying to force herself to stay serious, but it wouldn’t work for long. Her eyes would dance with the glint of laughter, and then the corners of her mouth would tug up as if they couldn’t stay sober for much longer. He’s seen this exact look before, been witness to the moods that changed like the tides.

Sam can remember one day in vivid history. He’d flopped down onto the beach, and seconds later, a pair of sand-tapped footsteps appeared next to him. She’d sat down, curious, and he’d explained himself. Some worry, some trouble that seemed to swallow the world whole. It seemed major to him, of course, but Y/N could never stay worried for long. You could never catch her with her guard down, her impulses always dancing away from you. 

That’s what made Y/N herself, after all. Never serious for a second. Her parents used to click their tongues and mutter about how she’d be brought down hard by the real world. For some reason, this thought makes the smile die away from Sam’s face. What would she be now? After the Blip, after everything that they’ve been forced to go through, would she have that same carefree smile? The idea of her burdened down by worry, her brow creased as it never had been before, seems so utterly unreal that Sam realizes he doesn’t know what to do if he sees it true. The Y/N of his memories is so different from the Y/N of today that for a second he doesn’t know if he could recognize her at all.

The Y/N from that day would have laughed at him. Of course you’ll recognize me, she would say, I don’t look that different at all. That’s basically what had happened that afternoon, anyway. She’d found a way to spin his troubles into a better light, to give him hope. Then she’d stood up, offering a hand and betting that she could race her sailboat around the coast and make a better time than his boat. She’d been right, but only because she managed to time it so that Sam got stuck behind a group of kayakers that he couldn’t ditch for the world. 

When he’d complained of this, she’d just laughed and said that they hadn’t set any rules about trapping your best friend behind the slowest paddlers on the planet, so she didn’t intend to start now. Sam had considered this for a second, then burst out laughing. You’ll regret that in our next race, I promise. You’ll be so far behind me you’ll need a second boat. Sam can’t remember if his vow held true or not. They’d had countless races, some won and some lost. The outcome rarely mattered, anyways- it was worth it from the second Sam looked across the prow of his boat and saw Y/N, cheeks whipped by the wind and a look of giddy concentration on her face. He’d partaken in a thousand races just to see her smile.

Sam doesn’t know why he’s thinking about her so much. In truth, they hadn’t had that many memories to share. If Y/N was only there half a year, and they were busy most of their days, they didn’t see each other often at all. Yet somehow those few moments were even the better for it, because they were stolen away despite all the work and hubbub of the usual days. 

The signs for Delacroix, Louisiana, are coming up into view now, and Sam turns off onto his exit. Maybe he keeps thinking back to those sunlit days because he’s guilty over how they ended. Sam had left Louisiana for the Air Force, trading out the tide lapping at the beach for heavy artillery fire and too many friends gone. Sam had thought that he’d have more time before being shipped off, but then he’d gotten the call late one night telling him he’d be expected at the base the next day.

So, early that next morning Sam had driven off to the regular crowd of well-wishers. Just before he had ducked into his car, he’d seen Y/N standing at the edge of the group. He’d moved towards her, but she was always one arm away or his path was intercepted by a kindly, too talkative neighbour. Just when he’d reached her, he was being pulled away again lest he arrive late. He had never gotten the chance to say goodbye.

Sam can still see that road before him, see Y/N standing in the edge of his rearview mirror. She’d watched him go for as long as she’d thought he could see her, then turned and walked away. Her steps were sure, her back straight against the chill of the morning air. Sam had stayed in Afghanistan for years, and then spent most of his time in Washington, D.C. after that. The few times he’d visited the Louisiana docks, she was never there or never saw him. That was that, and slowly the memories of the two of them faded from his mind. If he saw her at all, he would have no idea what to say to her.

Sam is saved from conversation by the true reason of his arrival at his hometown. He’s not here to see old friends, or ghosts of his past, he’s here to help his sister Sarah. Sam feels twinges of regret when he sees the new worries creasing her eyes, the new burdens that he should have been there to fix. How do you solve the problems of the years when you were dead? Even the experience of the Avengers can’t help him there. There are two battlefields he must face, Sam realizes, and he’s only replaced one with the other.

Sam’s helping Sarah carry some boxes from the boat to the house. As they walk the faded slats of the docks, though, he can’t help glancing at the turned heads of passing neighbours for any signs of a familiar silhouette. When they cross the roads, he listens for that telltale roar of the engine. Sam does his best to be discreet, but Sarah must be paying attention, because at last she turns to him with a teasing grin.

“You’re looking for her, aren’t you?” Sarah doesn’t have to say a name for Sam to know that she’s talking about Y/N. Who else would he be looking for? Sam nods, eyes still trained on the distance. “I have regrets about how I left. She’s one of them.” Sarah nods, falling silent for a second. “She is here, you know. You were lucky with timing. You’re not the only one who seems to want to spread your wings.”

Sam raises an eyebrow. “If that was supposed to be a Falcon pun-” Sarah busies herself with the latch on the door. “I thought it was pretty good. Not that much of a bird-en.” Sam groans. “That was awful. Is this my punishment for not being here as often? I get hit with the bad jokes?” Sarah drops her boxes off in a corner of the room, pointing a finger at him even as she begins to laugh. “That’s not a punishment, that’s a blessing. Keep it in mind.” Sam chuckles in spite of himself. “I’ll do my best.”

As the sun sets on the horizon, Sam finds himself heading back to the family boat. Some part of him is hoping that Sarah will reconsider selling it, that she’ll think of all the family history and be swayed to save it. But Sam knows that the memories aren’t the problem, it’s the bank. You can’t afford to keep the memories of the family boat fresh in your mind if you can’t afford the cost of the boat itself. Sam steps onto the boat, feeling the familiar sway of wood on the water. He stares out at the horizon, at the blue lines of tides and fishing boats returning late at night. Maybe Washington did good things for him, but Sam has a special place in his heart for his hometown.

He stays there a while longer, running his hands over the worn wood paneling and the photos still tacked onto the walls. At last, he relents and leaves, stepping out into the gold drenched sunset of the docks once more. Sam is just turning to step off of the wooden slats when he nearly bumps into someone and turns to check if they’re alright. The apologies die on his tongue when he recognizes the woman. It is Y/N, of course. Sam doesn’t think he could truly step foot back at the bay without seeing her again.

She looks just like the girl from his memories. Her eyes are older now, carry more memories with them. Her parents would be happy, she seems to have learned to scrap by in this contest of a world just like they’d hoped. Yet even with the passage of the years, she still has that glint in her eyes, the one light that could never truly disappear even as she grew up.

She doesn’t have to consider him a moment before a smile curves her lips. “Sam Wilson?” Sam returns her smile, something like relief blossoming in his chest. He hadn’t considered that fear before- maybe it would be worrying if he didn’t recognize her, but something about her not knowing him would be worse. He didn’t think of it before because he was so caught up in the past, but knowing that she knows him is enough to calm a wound he didn’t know was there.

He must have stood there silent for too long, because a slight uncertainty bubbles up behind her eyes. “We used to hang out when we were younger. I’m-” Sam cuts her off. “Y/N L/N. Don’t worry, I couldn’t forget you if I tried. You were always the best with the boats, remember?” Y/N laughs at that, crossing her arms over her chest. “And you’re evidently still the kindest boy to walk these shores. I didn’t know you thought I was the best.”

Sam chuckles. “I didn’t need to say it. Remember when you beat my motorboat in your sailboat?” Y/N smiles too, her eyes glowing as she thinks back to that day. “All because of a trick. I was so proud of myself for trapping you back behind those kayakers. Sometimes I can stand tourists after all.” Sam groans. “It was terrible. I had to explain myself to everybody why I upset so many newbies in boats.”

Y/N’s smiles deepens. “You upset them? It’s not like you mowed them over and left them struggling in your wake.” Sam shudders. “You wouldn’t have known by talking to them.” They stay silent for a moment, reveling in the chance to soak up the old memories, then Y/N speaks once more. “It’s not like you’ve been the worse for the years. You're getting up to some pretty important things, I hear.”

Sam sighs. “It’s certainly an experience. Some days I have to shake my head and wonder how I got into these rooms to speak to these people.” Y/N clicks her tongue. “You know, I’m not entirely surprised. You’ve always had a knack for standing up for people, this is just that at a bigger scale. You and your big heart, always finding a way to look out for more people.”

Sam’s gaze softens. “That’s one way to look at it. Sometimes I worry I do more harm than good.” Y/N places a hand on his arm, the comforting gesture somehow connecting the two of them in a way that words could never manage. “I have a feeling you’ll figure it out. You’ve got a good heart, Sam Wilson, and I’d count on a good heart a thousand times before anything else.”

Sam offers her a hand as they both step off the docks and back onto solid ground. “Will I be seeing you around?” He asks, and Y/N tilts her head. “I don’t know. I never plan on staying long, but I could make an exception.” Sam feels oddly pleased at this. “For an old friend?” Y/N looks back at him, the smile hitting him like a sunray. “For the girl who never got a chance to say goodbye.”

When they go their separate ways and Sam walks back to Sarah’s house, he can’t tell whether or not Y/N feels the same way about him. There will always be more chances to see her again, to remember her little phrases and changes in expression. This is part of going back, of making the commitment to his family and his home and his past. If Sam wasn’t here to see Y/N again, he wouldn’t be here at all. Tomorrow brings with it another day, and Sam has a good feeling that he’ll be waiting for a hometown ghost to take his hand once more.

[a-simple-gaywitch]

Coffee Encounters

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Gideon!Reader

Summary:  When (Y/N) spills a coffee on Spencer Reid, he doesn't expect her to become a huge part of his life.

Warnings: Mutual Pining, Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Substance Abuse, Criminal Minds-Typical Violence

Word Count: 4,481

A/N: My first tumblr-published fic in a WHILE! I’m rewriting my tag list, so if you want to be tagged, message me!

“What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?”

- Vincent Van Gogh

The coffee shop was filled with people rushing to get their caffeine fix before work. You turned around and spilled your iced caramel mocha all over a tall, lanky man in an oversized sweater vest behind you.

“Oh, my gosh, I’m so sorry!” you said, rushing to grab napkins. “I am so, so sorry!”

“It’s fine,” the man assured you, taking the napkins you offered him. “I probably would have spilled coffee on myself at work today anyway.”

“Still, I’m so sorry. I-I have uh, an interview today and I’m seeing my dad for the first time in a while so I’m pretty nervous, and when I get nervous, I get super clumsy.” You awkwardly held your hand out to him. “I’m (Y/N).”

“Spencer,” he said. “Sorry, I have a, uh, germ thing.”

“Let me buy you your coffee,” you offered. “It’s the least I can do after spilling mine all over you.”

~

Spencer ran through the bullpen up to the conference room. He threw his satchel down on the floor next to his chair before flopping into it.

“You’re late,” Hotch said, not looking up from the paper in front of him.

“I know,” Spencer said, breathlessly. “I know, I’m sorry.”

“Well, now that you’re here, we can get started.”

The team, of course, noticed the change in Spencer’s behavior. Morgan decided to be the one to ask about it.

“Okay, what’s her name?” he asked, rolling his chair over to Reid’s desk.

“What are you talking about?”

“You haven’t stopped smiling all day. Even after Hotch stuck you with more paperwork and told us we’d have to stay late tonight. So, who is she?”

Spencer smiled down at his desk. “I met her at the coffee shop this morning. Her name’s-”

“(Y/N)!”

Spencer looked up to see you running towards Gideon.

“Dad!”

Spencer’s jaw dropped when he saw Gideon wrap you in a hug. “How are you, Pumpkin? How was the interview?”

“Uh, I’m not sure. You know how I get when I’m nervous. And I kept thinking about how I haven’t seen you in years and-”

“(Y/N/N), take a breath. You’re rambling.”

“Right. Right.” You exaggerated your exhale. “I’m good.”

“Come on, let’s go to my office. You can tell me about your interview.”

When you followed Gideon up the stairs, Morgan turned back to Spencer.

“That’s her?” Spencer nodded, still in shock. “Oh, Pretty Boy,” Morgan laughed, “what did you get yourself into?”

Spencer was asking himself that same question.

~

“So, tell me about the job interview. Was it really as bad as you thought?”

“I don’t know,” you sighed. “I got all nervous and jumpy, my hands were all sweaty. You know how I get when I’m nervous. I walked into a scarecrow decoration they had in the hallway.” Your father pursed his lips, obviously trying to hold back a laugh. You sighed. “Go ahead.”

“What? No, I’m not laughing!”

“Dad, I love you, but you’re a terrible liar.”

“Come on,” he said, getting up from his desk, still chuckling. “I’ll introduce you to the team.”

You followed your father out of his office. The team was gathered in the bullpen.

“Guys, this is my daughter, (Y/N) Gideon.”

“It’s nice to see you again, (Y/N),” Aaron Hotchner said, shaking your hand.

“You too, Aaron.”

“This is Agent Jareau,” Gideon said, gesturing to JJ. “And Agent Morgan.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” the man said, shaking your hand.

“This is Agent Greenaway,” Gideon said, introducing you to the rest of the team. “Dr. Reid, and Penelope Garcia, our technical analyst.”

“So, what was it like growing up as Gideon’s daughter?” Penelope asked you.

“Oh, you know, it was like any other girl growing up with an overprotective father,” you said. “I was in self-defense classes since I was 3, I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere alone until I was 17, my older brother hogged the bathroom in the morning, and when I started dating, I couldn’t go out with a guy until Dad profiled him.”

“Ooh, that’s rough,” Agent Greenaway said. “How did you deal with that?”

You shrugged. “I was a teenager, and Dad was almost always away for work.” Your dad looked at you. “I mean, I was a perfect angel who never did anything wrong.”

“Yeah, nice try, kiddo,” Gideon said. “We’re gonna talk about that at dinner. Speaking of which, ready to go?”

“Sure, I haven’t eaten all day.”

After you and Gideon left, Morgan turned to Reid.

“So, Gideon’s daughter.”

“Shut up, Morgan,” Spencer muttered, his face red.

~

When Jason came back from his last case, he noticed that you weren’t there. You’d been staying with him until you heard more about the job. Jason thought for a moment before smiling to himself and heading back out.

“Thought I might find you here,” Jason said, sitting next to you on the grass.

You were sitting in front of a gravestone, a vase of fresh flowers on the grass. You brushed your hand over the lettering on the marker. ”I got the job.”

“Well, that’s great!”

“I guess,” you shrugged. “Is it- is it weird that I feel guilty if I don’t visit when I’m in the area?” You smiled, tracing your finger over the name. “I feel like, if I don’t visit, Mom’s yelling at me from beyond.”

Jason smiled. “It’s not weird at all. Especially since you were so young when we lost her.”

You sighed, letting your hand fall back to your side. “Do you think she’s proud of me?”

Jason was shocked by your question. “Of course she is,” he told you. “She’d be so proud of you, pumpkin.”

“Even though I broke my promise to her?” you whispered. “I promised I’d find a cure so no one would have to suffer like she did.”

“(Y/N),” your father sighed, “you were barely 15 when she died. She never expected you to keep that promise.” He nudged your shoulder. “Besides, she’d love that you’re dedicating your life to teaching kids.”

“You think so?”

“I know so. I’m your dad, I know everything.”

You laughed, leaning your head on his shoulder.

~

You settled into the DC area well. You’d become best friends with Penelope Garcia, and you grew closer to the rest of your dad’s team. Even though you weren’t part of the BAU, you were family.

You grew even closer to Spencer, too. Penelope, despite not being a profiler, could tell there was something up. She noticed the glances you’d give him when he wasn’t looking, and vice-versa.

“So, what’s going on with you and Reid?” she asked you over your Saturday morning coffees.

“What are you talking about, Pen?”

“Oh, come on! I see the way you look at him.”

“Wha- the way I look at him?”

“Yeah, you look at him like you’re ready to have his babies.”

“ Penelope! ”

~

The team was in Florida, getting deathbed interviews from Sarah Jean and Jacob Dawes. Gideon was sent in to interview Sarah Jean.

“Do you have children, Agent Gideon?” she asked him.

“It’s irrelevant,” he told her.

“Is it?”

While Hotch interviewed Jacob, Gideon and Reid were looking over the interview with Sarah Jean, looking for anything that might grant her a stay of execution. After some discussion with the team, Gideon headed back in to talk to Sarah Jean.

“Does the strain of your work affect your marriage?” Sarah Jean asked him.

“I’m not married.”

“You wear a ring.”

Jason rubbed the wedding band he still wore with his thumb. “Why would you still be protecting Jacob?” he decided to ask.

“Did you divorce because of putting people like me away?”

“I think you’re innocent,” Jason told her.

“We’re all guilty of something. But it’s… our children who suffer for our sins, isn’t it?”

“You’d have to ask them.”

“How old are they?” she asked.

“27 and 24,” Jason said with a smile.

Sarah Jean smiled. “Do you have pictures of them?” she asked.

“In my office. One of my son, one of my daughter.”

“You don’t carry them with you?”

“No.”

“To protect them. Tell me, Agent Gideon, does this job make you worry about your daughter?”

He nodded. “Every day.”

“Is there anything you wouldn’t do for your children, Agent Gideon?”

He shook his head. “Absolutely nothing.”

~

Spencer was pouring sugar into his coffee when he heard you and Garcia laughing. He turned to see the two of you talking in the doorway.

“Oh, before I forget to ask,” you said, “can you come in on Wednesday as a guest reader?”

“I’d love to!” Penelope said. “I’d love to read to those little angels!”

You smiled and adjusted the bag on your shoulder. “Great! I’ll see you tomorrow morning for coffee?”

“Of course.”

You waved towards Gideon’s office before ducking out of the BAU.

Elle came up to the coffee maker and poured herself a mug. “Why don’t you just ask her out?”

“I can’t do that,” he said, sipping his overly-sweetened coffee.

“Why not? It’s obvious you like her.”

“She’s Gideon’s daughter , Elle. I can’t ask her out.”

“Oh, I get it,” she said, stirring milk into her coffee. “You’re afraid Gideon wouldn’t approve of you dating his little girl.” She tossed the coffee stir into the trash and took a sip of her coffee. “If it’s any consolation, I think if he were to approve of anyone for (Y/N), it would be you.”

“You think?”

“The man loves you, Reid,” she told him. “Plus, you’re just as awkward and dorky as she is, you’re a good match.”

~

Spencer sat at his desk, with only his lamp to light the bullpen. A tabloid magazine sat on top of his case file.

“Hey Reid, you’re lucky they didn’t get a shot of you next to the pool trying to draw your gun. You looked like a drowned rat,” Morgan laughed.

Spencer chewed his lip for a moment. “Did you know that, um, she, uh- I kissed her? In the pool? It’s so weird. It doesn’t even feel like it really happened, you know?”

“Sure. She’s a beautiful young actress.”

“Yeah, but…” he paused, looking at the cover of the magazine, “it didn’t feel right. I felt guilty, almost. I felt like I was crossing professional boundaries.”

“Look, some things you can’t control, even with that big ol’ brain of yours,” Morgan told him with a smile.

Spencer was silent while Morgan put on his jacket. “Hey Morgan? Has there ever been a girl you just… couldn’t get out of your mind, no matter how hard you try? Even when another girl is kissing you?”

“I can’t say I have,” Morgan said. “But if this girl is so heavy on your mind, you should see where it goes.”

“So, you think I should call her?”

“I don’t know, Reid. But I do know you don’t have to decide tonight. I’ll see you Monday, okay, kid?”

“Yeah. Have a good weekend, Morgan.” He sat at his desk, looking at the tabloid. He sighed and threw the magazine in his trash can.

~

Of course, you’d seen the tabloids. You were out grocery shopping when you saw the pictures. You picked up the magazine and scoffed.

“It’s crazy how they invade celebrities’ lives, isn’t it?” the old woman in line behind you said. “That poor boy was probably just at the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“Yeah,” you said, putting the tabloid back on the rack. “It’s crazy.”

The next day at work, one of your coworkers came up to you while you were cleaning paint off the tables.

“So, should we talk about how your boyfriend is supposedly dating a tv star?”

Your face heated up. “He’s not my boyfriend, Hannah. He’s my dad’s coworker.” You heard one of the kids start crying. “Oh, Joshie’s crying again. Maybe you should go find out what happened.”

When the last kid was finally picked up by his grandmother, you were exhausted. But you still had to clean up the classroom. You sighed and started picking up the pretend food and sorting it into the proper baskets.

“Night, (Y/N),” your coworker said.

“Night, Ronnie. See you tomorrow.” You hung the costumes back on the hangers and put them back on the rack when someone knocked on the door. When you looked up, you saw Spencer standing in the doorway, his hands fidgeting.

“Oh, hey, it’s Lila Archer’s secret boyfriend!” you said, pushing up from the floor.

“Please tell me you didn’t buy into those pictures.”

“Well, you know what they say, a picture is worth a thousand words.”

He walked over to where you were gathering stuffed animals and helped you collect them. “It wasn’t what they made it look like,” he said. “She was attracted to me, but it was just transference.” He rubbed the back of his hand, his eyes looking down at the roadmap carpet. “And she isn’t the girl I like.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Lila didn’t make my heart rate speed up just by smiling at me like she does.” Spencer’s eyes were shining as he talked.

“What else do you like about this girl?” you asked him.

“She’s smart, she’s caring, she listens to me when I ramble on about random facts.” He smiled and looked at you. “She’s one of the only people in the world that calls me Spence. And she’s super clumsy when she gets nervous.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “You’re the one I want to be with (Y/N). You’re the one I can’t stop thinking about.”

“Damn, girl, if you don’t take him, I will!” Hannah said from the doorway, making you both blush.

“Go home, Hannah,” you said.

“Okay, okay, I’m just saying.”

Spencer chuckled, looking down at his Converse.

“You know, I like you too, Spence.”

Spencer’s face lit up. He grabbed the sides of your face and kissed you. When he pulled away, his face was red.

“I-I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thin-”

“Spencer, shut up,” you said, grabbing his tie and pulling him in to kiss you again.

~

“Guys, conference room. Now,” Hotch said, walking through the bullpen.

Morgan pushed up from his desk, walking up the stairs next to Garcia. “Is it just me, or has Reid been weird around Gideon today?”

“Oh, no, he is,” she said. “He and (Y/N) kissed last night.”

“Wait, so Reid and (Y/N) kissed?”

“Yep.”

“And Gideon doesn’t know?”

“Nope.”

“So everything he’s saying is making Reid uncomfortable?”

“Yep.”

“Should we exploit this?”

“Definitely.”

After everyone settled into the room, JJ started her presentation of the case, with the help of Gideon and Hotch.

“Uh, Gideon,” Morgan said, “When the plane kisses down on the air strip, do you want me to go to the scene with you?”

Spencer’s eyes widened as Gideon looked over Morgan. “Uh, weird way to ask that, but yeah. You, me, and Reid will visit the scene.”

“Do you think we can make out any information from the victims?” Garcia asked.

“Guys, what’s going on?” Hotch asked.

“Nothing!” Spencer said. “Can we just get to the jet?”

Hotch eyed Spencer suspiciously before saying, “Wheels up in 30.”

~

You’d heard about Elle, of course. You’d heard about her injury, investigation, and resignation. Spencer was shaken up about her leaving.

The team was bunkered down at the office when you stopped in with some coffees.

“Excuse me,” you said to the dark-haired woman standing by the printer, “is Agent Gideon in?”

“Yeah, were you meeting with him for this case?”

You laughed. “No. No, I’m his daughter. I’m (Y/N).” You shifted the coffee in your hands to shake hers.

“Emily Prentiss.”

“Oh, you’re the new agent. Dad mentioned there was a new transfer.”

“Well, he should be up in his office,” Agent Prentiss told you.

“Thank you, Agent Prentiss.”

“Please, call me Emily.”

You smiled before climbing the steps to your father’s office. You knocked on the door, waiting for him to answer.

“Come in.” You pushed the door open to find your dad at his desk, his glasses perched on his nose as he filled out paperwork.

“I brought you a coffee,” you said, setting the cup on his desk.

“Thank you,” he said, pulling the hot cup closer to him.

“And I made you some meals for when I go away.”

“(Y/N), you didn’t have to-”

“Dad, you know what the doctor said. Your blood pressure is way too high, and I know you won’t stop this job. The least you can do is stop eating so much takeout.”

“(Y/N)-”

“Dad, I’m serious. I don’t want you dying before you have the chance to walk me down the aisle. At least eat them when you’re home?”

He sighed. “Okay. Alright. What time does your flight leave again?”

“Five in the morning,” you said.

“You’ll call me when you land?”

“Of course, Dad,” you promised.

“Good. Tell Miranda I say congratulations.”

“I will,” you said. “I’m gonna go deliver these coffees to Penelope and Spencer.” You walked out of his office, closing the door behind you. You walked into the BatCave, setting the mocha frappuccino on her desk. “Last coffee before I go to Maine,” you said, sitting in Penelope’s spare chair.

“You better show me those wedding pictures, you know I love weddings,” she said, sipping her coffee. “Are you gonna talk to Reid before you go?”

“Sure, I have to give him his coffee.”

“No, (Y/N), are you going to talk to him about the kiss? It’s been months and you two still haven’t talked about it.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault you guys are always on a case.”

“Garcia, conference room,” JJ said, poking her head into the office.

“Speaking of,” you sighed. “I’ll see you when I get back, Pen.”

Before you left the BAU, you left Spencer’s coffee on his desk, a sticky note with a smiley face on top of the lid.

~

“ Hey, Dad, it’s me, ” you said on your message to Jason, “ I got sent straight to voicemail so I’m guessing that means you’re on the jet. I’m just calling to let you know my flight got delayed. There’s a huge storm so the plane is grounded until it’s over. I’ll be home as soon as I can. Love you, bye. ”

“You okay?” Hotch asked when Gideon slipped his phone back into his pocket.

“Yeah. (Y/N) just left a message, apparently it’s storming so her flight is delayed.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Are we any closer to finding Reid?”

“No. But Garcia found a way for us to get a video to him . We can let him know we’re looking for him.”

~

Spencer was struggling. He could feel the little glass bottles in his pocket, and he was itching for them.

“Hey, Spence!” you said, your bubbly voice shocking him as you set a cup of coffee on his desk.

“What’s this?”

“Dad said the last couple of cases were hard on you guys, I thought you might want a pick-me-up.”

He pushed the coffee towards the back of his desk. “I’m fine.”

“Spencer, what’s going on? You never turn down free coffee from Winnifred’s. Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m fine, okay?” he snapped. “Just leave me alone.”

When he saw your face, he knew he fucked up. “Fine. When the Spencer I know gets back, let me know. Goodbye, Dr. Reid.” You walked out of the BAU, brushing passed Hotch and Morgan as they came from the break room.

“What was that about?” Morgan asked.

“Nothing,” Spencer said, pushing up from his desk and walking away from the two.

When you hadn’t visited the office for a few weeks, the team knew something was off. While Morgan talked to Reid, Gideon went to your apartment to talk to you.

“Hey, Dad,” you said when you opened the door. “What’s up?”

“I was gonna ask you the same thing,” he said. “You haven’t visited in weeks.”

“I’ve been busy,” you said, getting a bottle of water and offering it to your father. “Mack wants me to get my Masters, she said I’d be a good academic director.”

“That’s not the reason,” he said, taking a sip of the water. “What happened between you and Reid?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Come on, (Y/N), I’m your dad. I know you have feelings for each other.” Your face turned red and you looked down at your feet. “You’re a grown woman, (Y/N). You don’t need my permission to date anymore. But if you do want my opinion, I think you and Spencer would be a great match.”

“You think?”

“Yeah, I do. Now, what happened?”

You sighed, flopping onto your old, worn out couch. “You’d all been so busy lately, so I decided to bring him coffee from our favorite shop. But he was, he was acting different . And not a good different. When I tried asking him what was wrong, he got all defensive and he lashed out at me. So I told him that when the Spencer I know gets back, he could let me know.”

“Well, I’m not sure that’s going to happen,” Jason said.

“What do you mean?”

Your father sighed, setting the bottle on the old trunk you used as a coffee table. “On one of our cases, he got kidnapped.”

“Oh, my god,” you said, covering your mouth with your hand. “Oh, Spence. No wonder he was different.”

“He needs you to be there for him, even if he doesn’t think he does.” Jason’s phone started ringing. He sighed when he saw the caller ID. “I gotta go. Oh, but before I forget,” he pulled a disk out of his jacket and handed it to you, “happy birthday.”

“What’s this?”

“I don’t know how long this case is gonna be, I might not be home in time for your birthday. Just watch the DVD.” He kissed your forehead before heading out the door.

~

You were curled up on your couch, wrapped in blankets as you rewatched the DVD again. It was all the home movies your family ever filmed from your childhood. You were tearing up as you watched your mom push you on the swings.

“Higher! Higher, Mommy, higher!”

“Hold on tight!”

There was a knock at your door. You paused the video and untangled yourself from your nest of blankets. You peered through the peephole and saw Spencer standing outside, his hands behind his back. You undid the deadbolt and opened the door.

“Spencer-”

“(Y/N), I’m sorry.” He brought his hands back around, showing you a bouquet of flowers- all your favorites. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that, I was out of line. I-I wasn’t in my right mind and-”

“Spencer, breathe.” You motioned for him to come in. He handed you the flowers. “Dad told me what happened in Atlanta.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “He didn’t tell you everything.”

“What do you mean?” You set the flowers on your kitchen counter and sat next to Spencer on your couch.

“Promise me you won’t blow up and get angry.”

“Spence, what’s going on?”

He took a deep breath. “When I was kidnapped, the unsub injected me with dilaudid. It was meant to keep me passive and subdued.”

“And now you’re addicted, aren’t you?” you realized. “Oh, Spencer.”

“I’m getting help,” he assured you. “Gideon kind of, uh, talked a little sense into me.” His hands were fidgeting. “I, I didn’t want to tell you because I thought you might, I don’t know. I thought you might not like me anymore.”

You took his hand in yours. “Spencer, I knew I liked you when I spilled my coffee on you and you didn’t freak out on me. Then I got to know you, and your kind, gentle heart. I don’t think I could ever stop liking you.”

Spencer’s smile came back. His real smile. He turned his head to the tv. “Is that your mom?”

“Yeah,” you said, a sad smile on your face as you hit play.

“You don’t talk about her much.”

“She died when I was in high school,” you said. “After she died, my uncle took over recording family videos when Dad was off on cases.”

“You look just like her,” Spencer told you. “Wait, what’s this one?” he asked.

The camera was pointed at a stage, lights coming up on apartment buildings.

“Oh, this is from when I did Little Shop of Horrors !” you said. “I played Audrey.”

“Wow, really?” He cleared his throat. “I-I don’t mean I think you can’t do it, I just meant I can’t see you letting a man treat you like that.”

You shrugged. “Acting, Spence.”

He laughed and you leaned against him. His face turned pink, but he wrapped his arm around your shoulders. He kissed the top of your head.

~

Your dad left the bureau, for good. He dropped off the map, not even telling you where he was going. Spencer was beyond upset. When he found the letter, he showed up at your apartment, tear tracks down his cheeks.

“Spence, what happened?” You took his hand and gently pulled him inside. “Spencer?” He handed you the letter as the two of you sat on the couch. “Oh, Spencer.”

“He left. He left us. Without even saying goodbye.”

“I’m sorry, Spence.” You wrapped your arms around him and he rested his head on your shoulder. “I know how you’re feeling. I can’t tell you the number of times I expected Dad to be at something, and he wasn’t there. It got to the point where I was surprised if he did show up.”

“How did you deal with that?” Spencer asked you.

You shrugged. “I guess, I just… focused on who was there for me.”

~

Spencer woke up the next morning to his phone blaring. He was disoriented, and didn’t quite recognize his surroundings. Until he looked to his left and saw you laying next to him.

You sat up and rubbed your eyes. “Is that the team?” you asked, your voice still rough from sleep.

“Yeah,” Spencer sighed.

“Go. They need you.”

“But-”

“Spence.” You cupped his face in your hands. “I’ll be here when you get back. I promise.” You kissed him and pressed your forehead to his. “Go save the world, my genius.”