#Love u Scotland btw

[jalshristovski]

Drawing Scotland in my family’s tartan (my mom’s side is Scottish) is what I call reconnecting

[pinktinselmonstrosity]

alright i have a mild dilemna that i need advice on

on my course we have to post these weekly self-reflection things responding to the themes of the week's class and some questions about it. i posted last week's and yesterday the course convenor replied to it in a way that implies i was wrong (in my SELF reflection) and just generally misunderstands my point/takes it in bad faith. i've shown these posts to others on the course and they agree that my original post adressed the things her reply asks about and that she has misinterpreted me, in quite a "cheeky" way

my issue now is: do i reply and try to explain myself better? or is it better to just let it go?

i don't want to dig myself in deeper if she's really opposed to my viewpoint, but at the same time i do feel like i answered the questions thoroughly in the first place and the things she's accusing me of aren't fair

[spookymartian]

I forgot to tell everyone this but yesterday in History as we were writing down stuff about what problems soldiers had to face in the trenches during World War I, my teacher (for no reason whatsoever) asked everyone if they wanted to hear a rap battle about WWI and this was the rap battle.

I'm not being funny here, but genuine Trigger Warning, it's that bad (dw it's not anything problematic or something like that but it's so bad I nearly started crying) so just watch it at your own risk.

[floyds1fan]

If I may ask, your nsfw headcanon relating to Tai Lung wanting children but felt it was too late kinda made me sad.

So I wanna see a nsfw scenario where fem! Reader tells Tai Lung that's its ok to want kids and they could work together in spite of his age. And so tells him to make them fully his.

I'm so sorry for making you upset 😭😭

I just thought certain people would come after me because they'd say "He's too old you bloody idiot" (I'm Scottish btw...Well, I grew up in Scotland)

Tai Lung x Fem!Reader

Warning: Smut🔥

Btw, no, I don't really think it matters what age your OC or just u are in this, but obviously maybe a bit over 18, idk, or just 18 tbh ^^

Tai Lung and you have been together for ages, When he entered the spirit realm you showed him how to get used to it. That led to you two becoming friends, Best friends, Girlfriend and Boyfriend ^^ (You can choose if y'all are engaged or married yet)

You were walking through the spirit realm near where you and Tai Lung lived, until you found him sitting down with his ears down looking at the ground, You could tell he was upset.

You walked up to the snow leopard and sat beside him, Resting your head on his shoulder

"Tai? Are you alright?"

He nodded

"Yeah I'm fine...It's just-....I..."

"?"

"This might sound too late but...I kinda want kids..?....And we can't really have any"

"Why can't we?"

"I'm 56 (reader)."

"And so? You do realise people in the spirit realm don't reealllyyy age right? General Kai is like...500!"

Tai Lung paused and his ears went up

"And plus, Nobody will really care if we have kids or not anyway, Tai, it's alright to want kids and we can work together despite your age!

(Also yours depending how old ur OC is)

"...You're right....But...Are you up for it?"

"Ready as I'll ever be...I want you to make our kids fully yours.." you whispered.

🔥Time skip♥️

You and Tai Lung went to bed and started fucking eachother because biology! (And because kids)

The two of you were in missionary (If that's the position you want to be in) and Tai Lung is the Dom, You the Sub

This is like round...4? You can't even remember anymore to be honest, he's been going at it for ages

You were gripping on his shoulders, literally seeing stars because he was going rough and extremely fast, Tai Lung has a lot of energy to do something like this

"Just-...One more.."

"T-Tai!...I-I can't last any longer!~"

You whimpered as he just continued, The both of you were at the edge now

"Just a tad more longer darling, Then we'll be done for today...~"

He kisses your lips as you were a moaning mess and he was breathing heavily and groaning

3 minutes later, you were shaking and sweating like hell, Tai Lung was going fast asf until you both came together

"Holy shi-t!" You gripped on his shoulders harder but not enough to hurt the guy

Tai Lung then pulls out of you with an airy moan and collapses beside you

He spooned you, Him being the big spoon and you being the little spoon, He put his chin on your head and held your hand while breathing heavily

"....Hey Tai?"

"...Mhm?"

"I love you"

"...I love you too, (Reader)"

He kisses your head and falls asleep with you, Hoping, You guys can still have kids.

Spoiler!

You guys do :) ��

Thanks for reading!💖

Sorry if this was a bit short or not to expectations, I'm mostly used to NSFW/Smut headcannons 😭💗

[fictionalfiona]

[Part 1] - Boyfriend Asmr Series Recommendation!!

hii, everyone! I've decided to give you guys some recommendations on my favorite bf asmr series that I love sooo much.

Idk about you guys but its been hard tryna find some good series that don't involve just kissing but have a nice build-up to the relationship!! That's why I find series better than just one-shot asmrs cuz those usually don't have the best character development and depth in their relationships, unlike series which often offer a more engaging and satisfying narrative journey [However I know a few good one-shot recs if anyone want those ^^].

The system i'll be using to give u guys the recs is: Series Overview (Overview of what the series is abt): ❤️ Cuteness lvl : /5

🔥 Spicy lvl: /5

❗ Plot lvl: /5

💕 My Thoughts:

lets get into the recs then! 🏃🏽‍♀️💨

btw to get the links to the series, click on the picture collages

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1 - Best Friend's Older Brother Confesses While Drunk [M4A]

Series Overview: "Your best friend's older brother invites you over again, thinking you'll have the house to yourself. It doesn't last long before you're forced to hide in the closet together. What happens next? (You kiss and fool around, of course.)" ❤️Cuteness lvl : ❤️❤️❤️❤️/5

🔥Spicy lvl: 🔥🔥🔥/5

❗ Plot lvl: ❗❗❗/5

💕 My Thoughts: I absolutely love this series! It was one of the first bf asmrs I've ever listened to and it always gives me butterflies whenever I relisten to the audio series. The first episode is essentially about how you visit your best friend named Alex's house to see them only to find Alex's older brother opening the door to tell you that Alex isn't here. Then Alex's older brother invites you in and you share a drink which leads to unexpected things to be revealed..!! The tension of your best friend potentially finding out about the relationship was REAL and the tension grows even more as the series progresses. PLUS Phasmid's deep British accent is not only hot (😻) but soo relaxing. Highly recommend this series if your looking for friends to lovers, tension, a deep british accent and is a binge worthy series cause this series only has 3 episodes.

2 -Trapped with your Scottish Tsundere Bully [M4A]

Series Overview: "Another busy day draws to a close as you prepare to head to your final class only to be ambushed by David; the Scottish exchange student, Football team running back and the bane of your existence. However, today he seems... off. Something's bothering him, you can tell. And as he drags you through the corridors to speak with you, you have a feeling you're going to find out what it is soon enough..."

❤️Cuteness lvl : ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️/5

🔥Spicy lvl: 🔥/5

❗ Plot lvl: ❗❗❗❗❗/5

💕 My Thoughts: THIS SERIES IS ACTUALLY SO FIRE! David is such a cutie pie and I think of him all the time!! This series is sort of like a sports romance because we follow David who is an exchange student from Scotland (so he has a Scottish accent which might I say: IS SO CUTE JAHSKHSA) who is trying to get better grades so that he can graduate high school and get those football scholarship offers he's been receiving. But the problem is that he has to first graduate but it isn't looking too promising for him until he meets YOU. The class topper and the person he kindaa bullies from time to time... But he asks for your help and u reluctantly help him out. Lemme just say that Pebbles (aka the voice of David) is an AMAZING scriptwriter and this whole series was just so funny but also heartwrenching to listen. PLUS THE VOICE ACTING IN THIS SERIES IS GRAMMY WORTH. There are other voice actors in this series too which is even cooler! AND DAVID'S NICKNAME FOR THE LISTENER IS SHORTSTACK!! SO CUTE >U<! Its a nickname he uses throughout the series and when someone tries to call you the same nickname repeatedly to annoy David...lets say he gets a little overprotective and things go south (can't spoil it for yall 😌) Overall, this series is great if your looking for enemies to lovers, sports romance and DRAMAA

3 -Starline SERIES [M4A]

Series Overview: "Part one of a romance series between the listener and a peculiar alien. After waking up on his ship, you realize that due to circumstances, you are not getting back to Earth so soon. Not before this stranger completes his mysterious job. With a whole new universe you had not even heard of before now just hours away, who knows what to expect? Not a soul could tell you, but maybe your new friend can show you the way. And your new friend. . . Perhaps there is more to him than what meets the eye?"

❤️Cuteness lvl : ❤️❤️❤️❤️/5

🔥Spicy lvl: 🔥🔥🔥.5/5

❗ Plot lvl: ❗❗❗❗❗X100/5

💕 My Thoughts: HEAR. ME. OUT. I know sometimes alien romances aren't everyone's cup of tea and I get it. I was just like you. UNTILL THIS AUDIO SERIES!! Because why is this series so stinking cute and had me at the edge of my seat cause of all the ACTION! THERE WERE TIMES WERE I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA LOSE BRECKETT 😭😭 But feelings aside, this series follows your adventure with this alien named Breckett who...uh...kinda accidentally crashed his spaceship on top of u 😃. Listen I didn't get that part either and how we are still alive but its alr cause he somehow patched us up in his high-tech medical bay aboard his spaceship. Alien technology is wacky shit 😭. Anyways Breckett informs you that you sadly cannot go back to earth just yet because he has a mission he was sent out to do on Mars and other planets so going back to Earth would only make him lose precious time. So now you're stuck with him on this crazy ass adventure with dodging asteroid storms, outsmarting intergalactic pirates and you two will have to FIGHT FOR YOUR LIVESSS!! Overall, this series is sooo funny, soo eventful and if you're looking for a good SLOOW BURN (and I mean slow girl but soo worth it),Strangers to lovers and sci fi vibes then you'd love this series!

4 -Your Childhood Crush Is Kind Of An Idiot [M4A]

Series Overview: "Charlie's first day at Sweet Pete's Pizzeria has been less than great, but when a familiar face pulls up on a familiar skateboard, he has a decision to make! Be a little rat filled with regret, or…apologizes"

❤️Cuteness lvl : ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️Xinfinity/5

🔥Spicy lvl: 🔥🔥🔥🔥/5

❗ Plot lvl: ❗❗❗❗/5

💕 My Thoughts: OKAY IF YOU'VE SEEN MY BLOG, you already know how much I'm obsessed with Charlie 😭. But there is a reason okay!!! This series follows your reunion with your old childhood best friend Charlie who works at a pizzeria. You haven't seen each other since graduating high school...until now! When you see each other again old feelings unravel and Charlie now doesn't want to stay out of touch with you anymore so you two decide to meet up at a skatepark after his shift. I can't express how much I love this little rat 😭❤️ He is the epiphany of cuteness and I can't tell u how many times I've listened to the series. I loovee his little Brooklyn accent too!! Also note that Charlie does make little references to this other series that Yuurivoice (aka the voice of charlie) made and you actually don't have to watch that other series to understand this one so dw! Overall I STINKING LOVE THIS SERIES and would actually say its my favorite asmr series I've ever listened too :D. If you're looking for childhood best friends to lovers, slow burn, FUNNY ASS DIALOGUE, wanting to dip ur toe into the yuurivoice universe then this series is 4 u!

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If you stayed this long, thank you! Im thinking of making a part 2 where I have more series to recommend like good mafia,crime and more sci fi series so comment down below if u want more!

[ch1-kasak0]

CUP HEAD HEAD CANONS GRRRR

A hahaha this isn't very child friendly :3 18+🔥🔥🔥

‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥🌞

Cup 100% spent way too much time staying up all night looking at the stars, has been punished multiple times by hat for staying up and not being awake for training :3

Cups fav dates would be staying up and stargazing or spending time walking through forests and around lakes and skimming rocks or playing with the animals at shelters

Always carries various animal treats and toys

Had a favourite pencil and would get emotional when it was taken off of him as a kid

Ambidextrous

Has tried to stack things on his dick, it worked but some almost got stuck and he panicked so much he cried

Considering bendys kick to his crotch he's probably not gonna have kids for awhile.. Or ever bendy has a really strong kick . _.

Likes driving near mountains so he can admire the scenery

Absolutely dispises people who leave their lights on for no reason at night (light pollution)

Is probably a tits man, likes laying on ur chest, man or woman since he likes listening to ur heartbeat, occasionally squeezes ur titties/chest for a giggle, makes a honk sound when he does and dies laughing everytime

Went to Scotland once and some dickhead asked him if he knew Swahili (it's a saying) and he learned Swahili just to spite the guy

Strangely likes the taste of cum... ( ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡°)

Can run through trees ninja style

Drives like a dad

Bendy sometimes likes to just hug cup for the warmth #walking heater

Is really good at massages, got a tense spot? Go to cup and it'll be gone, might even get a hug as well

REALLY likes Eskimo kisses, he loves them sm

Yells train everytime he sees one, no matter who hears him

Has tried to lick one of the pea shooters before, nearly burned his tongue off and it's still kinda scarred around his mouth n shit, couldn't eat for like a month or 2 after (this was when he first got the bullets btw)

Really scarred and veiny hands, yum

Has probably been attacked by a succubus before

Sleeps like a "paint me like one of your French girls" when he isn't hugging smth

Prefers sweet n salty popcorn over just sweet or just salty

Likes looking out of the window when on car rides

Jonathan Sims core

Really likes sushi

"Gimme a hug :("

":3"

Jewelry.

Tried to read Wilsons journal once, no thanks.

You gotta be his fav person under mugs if he can trust u to protect him while he sleeps

Has weird hobbies and interests, he could rant about cannibalism for hours and if you trust him he'd ask if you can help him w bondage stuff (just, helping him tie u up or u tying him up) he's fascinated by bondage,

Can sleep upside down

Hates summer and winter, only likes autumn and spring

used to sound like will Stetson before he started smoking, so lowkey a TINY bit why he did, he thought he didnt sound threatening:P

Unironically moans a little when he's out of breath, no one has told him yet bc regardless of how lewd it is he just has a nice voice, his vocal cords are very moanable it's amazing

Also moans a lot when he sings, dunno why, no one has tried to stop him

gynecomastia (man boobs)

One time broke into a bar, drank most of the bars whiskey and then gave himself a concussion by falling into a pool table

Doesnt like tofu for whatever reason

Can easily fall asleep in a car if he's comfortable but doesn't bc he's not

Cannot sit still

Cannot stand still

Cannot lie still

Dispises people who talk when they eat

Gets sick when he sees chewed up food in people's mouths

Really wants a pet vulture idk

Tried to drink out of his straw, thought nothing of it, then asked dementia to try... It was weird.. It felt weird.. He didn't like it

Has really tense shoulders and back, physically incapable of massaging himself but can do it perfectly for others, it's a struggle

Likes rain, doesn't like getting wet

Will flood a bathroom if he uses a bath, cannot keep water in it for some reason

Likes cuddles, might have said this in another post but who gives af

Would 100% listen to MSI, Will wood and jhariah frfr trust

HIP DIPS. he has hip dips you can't change my mind/violin hips idk idgaf

Central heterochromia 100%

Used to hum the same song as demi did to help mugs sleep when they were younger, now does it for dying animals he finds and can't help save

If it was acceptable, would wear sleeveless turtle necks n shit like that trust (would make it easier to touch his boobs as well frfr)

Is the type of boy best friend to carry tampons n shit just incase one of his bsfs get her period #slay

[ifindus]

Let me share sth - I was listening to “I see fire” so often these days and now that whenever I thought of the line i literally see back at when they were young teens, Nor told Scot “I see fire.” at their story ending, as a way to say “I do had u in my heart.” but also a way saying “farewell, my brother.” ❄️ In the background of the scene, there were thistles in mountain mist - Just wondering in real history, is there a period of time like this for Scot n Nor?🥲

Thanks for the ask! 🥰 Love your art btw! �� I used to listen to that song so much when it came out too - love it

I think they used to have a big crush on each other when they were younger, and this just fits so well 💕 There is a point in 1263, after the Battle of Largs, between Scots and Norwegians for some areas of land outside the Scottish coast, where the Norwegian King falls ill and dies. Norway then has to go back home and give up the land - in my mind this fits very well with what you are describing ✨ It's probably the last time they interact as independent nations - before Norway becomes under Danish rule, and now when Scotland is a part of the UK. It was probably a very bittersweet goodbye at the time...

[tetsuskei]

risu loved your hot take about smut.

also is it just me or like writing smut has always been relatively easier than fluff or even suggestive banter type shit? because in smut, you can bullet point- yeah they gonna do this and this and this and call it a day but fluff requires some depth. a perfect setting for the fluff or angst to actually be enhanced.

And according to each author’s writing style, they have to add imagery, or like metaphors or engaging dialogues to make it work. For me, when I was writing suggestive/banter related fics for kuroo or gojo, I was staring at the screen in despair so that my brain conjures some smart words or a perfect setting for them to act on. So it was relatively harder for me. And if other authors have faced such similar challenges and yet post majority sfws, you can guess the amount of hardwork they’ve put into it and would love for any sort of appreciation of their work. And

Im not downplaying smut authors by any means, every piece of writing takes up a fair share of effort and even I’ve had my fair share of challenges in writing smut too because firstly I experience high key embarrassment proofreading it and secondly, good smut requires the same criteria too (it’s just sfw fics gets the floor to portray a reader’s personality more than its nsfw counterpart) it’s just we want the audiences to interact with these posts with the same enthusiasm and not read and toss it aside :((

to our dear readers, Lores are fun. Just get yourself out of that sex bubble and you’ll see why a simple fic of having breakfast with nanami in scotland is actually so much fun to read and enjoy

happy reading!!

sami thank u for sending this! providing my thoughts under the cut.

i honestly am shocked by how many ppl commented on that. (someone said i was ‘insulting the intelligence of those who only read smut’ and was being ‘misogynistic’. i didn’t intend to do that, and think my words were taken out of context by that point, but it is what it is now.)

i do agree that with smut if i have an idea of the dynamic i want and what the characters might be into, i can plan a course of action for what is going to happen. sometimes i start w smut and then incorporate the plot later tbh.

you’re absolutely right, there’s nothing wrong with reading and writing smut. no one is any better if they don’t read smut than those who do. personally my comment was only towards the select who constantly intake content on here and aren’t always careful about what they read. even heavily more so towards the porn link posts too. hence why my original comment said ‘some’ because obviously it doesn’t apply to everyone.

i really do admire those who are able to world build so fluently and with great detail whether that is in smut or not. i agree with your point that it may be a bit more complicated to build a story without smut if you’re focusing more on characterization, personality, and setting. smut pieces that bring this to the table seem like the longer ones for the most part, but that doesn’t mean shorter ones can’t either. also i know it’s another tricky thing to mention is how people go about making their reader with personality or not bc ppl complain anyway anyhow when there’s something they can’t identify with.

at the end of the day i just wish to keep supporting ppls writing in general but also wish the tumblr community was more friendly like it used to be. a lot of ppl seem discouraged lately about their writing and i hope that things can get better soon.

(btw breakfast with nanami in scotland sounds heavenly! pls sign me up immediately <3)

[autistic-katara]

WHAT'S CATRIONA'S BACKSTORY?? (love her name btw)

tysfm for asking omg

so basically Catriona had a pretty normal childhood until she was 11. she grew up with her mother and father (for now unnamed) and her younger sister Francis in idk some city in Scotland (haven’t decided which). she and her sister were pretty close considering their 4 year age gap and even lowkey shared a few friends (Catriona’s friends considering Francis a cute kid they could let play minecraft with them or smthn and Francis’s friends considering Catriona a cool big kid who was really good at hide and seek or smthn). but when Catriona was 11 and Francis was 7 their parents got in a car accident and both died. it was traumatic as hell for both of them (obviously) but what was worse was due to them having no family able to take care of them (their dad was abandoned at birth and bounced around the foster care system until he was 18 + their mother was an only child who’s dad had died some time before this and her mother being unable to care for 2 kids) and none of their friend’s families being able to take the both of them they ended up getting separated. Catriona doesn’t know where Francis ended up, she hoped one of her friends’ parents had adopted her or something but she (Catriona) ended up in foster care. she went around a couple homes until she was placed long term with this one family. they were a man and woman in their late 40s with 3 bio kids of their own (a boy a few years older than Catriona named Jacob, a girl her age named Erin, and a boy a year younger than Francis named Harris) and a few other foster kids. The other foster kids (along with the boys) mostly ignored her, Erin seemed to have some sort of personal thing against her, and the foster parents were pretty abusive (to all of the kids but particularly the foster ones). as well as all that the foster parents clearly weren’t equipped to take care of her, given that whenever she (or the other autistic kid there bcz yes do u rlly except me to make an allistic character?) would get overwhelmed or have a meltdown they’d treat it as a tantrum and punish her for it. they also didn’t know how to deal with her hair type (like 3c i think) and just pressured her into straightening it so it would be “easier to deal with”. they were also quite religious (protestant christian) and didn’t care that Catriona wasn’t raised religious and “didn’t really believe in it” and forced her to go anyway (they were also pretty homophobic bcz those kinda ppl typically are which was kinda a problem cause Catriona’s lesbian and very much didn’t wanna have to deal with the fallout if they found out).

one time when she was 14, Erin ended up destroying one of the last remaining memories of her family, a photo of them the day Francis started primary school, with Erin’s mother saying that “it was an accident” and “just a photo” and got rlly mad at her for “being dramatic” over it. so that night Catriona as quietly as possible packed everything she owned could fit into her school bag and took all the money in the house she could find that didn’t belong to the other foster kids. (couple hundred pounds) and left. taking a train to somewhere. somewhere that wasn’t there.

and yeah i haven’t figured out exactly how she meets everyone else and finds the place they live and the order everything happens in nd allat but i’ll figure it out soon c:

[squadron-of-damned]

okay so i have,,, a lot of questions for siegfried and his kids. not exactly from the list (and more like ICAs) but i just have to annoy my uncles.

for everyone:

what's your favourite colour? do you like walking barefoot or have you ever walked barefoot? would you take me to the park and have ice cream with me? btw, favourite ice cream flavour?

for siegfried:

how did you even survive being shot three times in the same place? like, HOW??? why swords? also yeah, you spent too much time in scotland, you could literally call yourself a scot. buy me a sword, i need one.

for wolfgang:

do you know what's a furry? how many dogs do you currently have and could i have one? ily you are very cool, keep doing u.

for markov (the fav uncle):

not a question but i want you to teach me how to stab people and cause non-lethal injury. when the fuck did you get married and why wasn't i a flower girl? please sign your cards.

Favourite colour: These are not going to be ICA, because Markov would lie and Siegfried wouldn't know the truth if it hit him in the head.

Siegfried could never pick just one, he liked combinations of earthy browns and light greens. If he had to pick one, he'd say maroon, and then mull it over until the end of his days if it was the right answer.

Wolfgang wears what he loves: Scarlet

Markov might wear his signature purple, but is actually fond of dark greens, emerald and malachite like

Ice cream:

Siegfried: Have you gone through your training today? Well, once you are finished, we can get ice cream as a reward. Strawberry is a good ice cream.

Wolfgang: Well, the dogs aren't going to walk themselves and I suppose we can stop by the ice-cream stall on the way. If it's omen. And if you promise not to make a mess. Scoop of pistachio?

Markov: Consider this counterpoint: Actual food. But we can spend the afternoon in the park and you may get ice cream on your own. If they have dark enough chocolate flavour, I might consider having one scoop too...

About the three shots:

Siegfried: It's not like a shot to the shoulder is lethal, especially if you keep your mind and stop the bleeding. I myself am more puzzled how three different people separated by some thirty years managed to hit me in the exact same spot.

Swords:

Siegfried: Fencing, either the fancy sport one or the historical one, make for a good sport. I picked it up first as PE and then stuck to it, because I liked it. Many people nowadays like to do martial arts, because in case of toruble they could also defend themselves, swordsmanship has the same benefit. It also has one additional advantage: People are intimidated by large visible weapons. If someone sees a sword strapped to your side, they aren't even going to start a fight. You can call that preventive damage control.

Siegfried: Besides it is a known fact that everyone looks better with a sword, it just has some people-magnetic properties. But if you carry a sword and don't know how to use it, you are more likely to hurt yourself or worse - make a fool of yourself.

Siegfried: Why would I buy you a sword? Go to the armory, pick one that you like. Something to match your height and strength.

The furry question:

Wolfgang: You aren't the first person to ask me that. According to Markov, who's a fountain of such useless trivia, furry is me but neon green with orange streaks. I hope that answers helps you, because it did not help me at all.

Dogs:

Wolfgang: So right now we are at sixteen. 6 are actually our dogs, these five puppies are for sale or taking if you promise to take good care of them. Yes, you'll get the papers, this is a certified breeding station.

Wolfgang:These three I am sort of looking after until their owners sort out their living conditions - it's not easy to do software and divorce and find a place big enough to live in with a borzoi.

Wolfgang: And these two poor sods got into an accident and the shelter couldn't really provide for them. Together they make for a whole dog and some spare parts. If you wanted to, you could take them, but they are high maintenance.

Being very cool:

Wolfgang: I am so cool it's frosty, lass. *winks with both eyes*

Stabbing people:

Markov: *hands you an anatomy atlas* Make a list of all spots that are lethal to stab, then I shall add in any of those you'll have missed. After that? Stab anywhere but there.

Marriage:

Markov: That is a private information. Nobody was invited, you get equal treatment to everyone else.

Markov: It's not like you've missed out anything. We signed some papers, then everyone went home.

Signing cards:

Markov: Why would I? Everyone knows they are from me. If someone does not know that, they either bother to find out or they do not.

[thnksfrthmmrs]

idk what happened in wrestling world but i'm happy for u (?) :))

if this is because of the sami spam i just think he’s hot and he was extraordinarily sexy yesterday. if this is because all of the other images i reblogged there was a ✨premium✨ event in scotland, and mostly everyone i wanted to retain did :)

look at my fav champion to ever champion <3 i think he’d love champion by fob btw

[gaythemayaway]

ask game! 1, 12, 17, 18, 23!

1. when did you first watch/discover good omens, and how did you find out about it?

I first (!!! I watched it so many times) watched Good Omens some time last year, in September I think, when I met with a friend that had just recently moved quite far away to study creative writing (so proud of them btw). And well, all we really planned was to meet, not what to do. So we were kinda just sitting there, wondering what we should do (I think?) until they said "Ayy can I show u a thing I really like bc I think you'll like it too?" And I said "Lezzgo!" And then we started watching and when the Intro started I went "OMG IT'S NEIL GAIMAN??? WHY ARE U ONLY SHOWING ME THIS NOW??" And then we binged the first season and started the second one and I LOVED IT so I forced them to do an Amazon watch party with me during the week (bc they had left again by then) bc I COULDN'T WAIT but I also didn't wanna watch it alone. Aaaand yeah,,, I think they found my reaction to the final 15 (or all of the show, probably) quite entertaining xD

12. has your interaction with the good omens fandom been overall good or bad?

It's been mostly good, actually! I've been in quite bad ones before. But this fandom actually got me back on tumblr and rediscovering this hellsite with all its silly little tumblr weirdos made me feel so at home again in a way? If that makes sense? I mean idk what happens on other ppl's timelines but mine is just all fun artsy stuff, queer ppl and well,,, general tumblr tomfoolery. And A LOT of love and support. So I feel quite nice here :D It's been my main source of comfort ever since I watched Good Omens.

17. what is your favorite husband-y moment between aziracrow?

Ooooof that's a tricky one. I'm not good at picking favorites. But uh,,, probably the Crowley-off-his-head-on-laudanum (1827) where he's just running around like some uncoordinated cat and Aziraphale catches him and grabs his waist to steady him and tells him how kind it was of him to save Elspeth. I like that one c:

18. what is your favorite moment through history, and why?

ALSO 1827 because first of all, I think it was a very important plot point, especially for Aziraphale to understand that the world isn't just black and white and sometimes things that seem bad at first glace have very good intentions behind them and are. just. needed. And right. And good. And then ofc also bc of what I just said to question 17. AND the fact that I LIVE for Crowley singing Flower of Scotland <33 The entire last scene just always has me giggling. It makes me so happy.

(Plus, the "Trying to kill yourself. That's, I mean, It's NOT ON!!" is a thingy me and my friends (those I forced to watch Good Omens with me :P) now do every time one of us is in a difficult phase. It's a silly way of reminding each other to just keep ourselves alive, and that's so dear to me <3

23. what's a good omens headcanon that you considered canon?

Idk if it counts bc I'M STILL NOT SURE IT'S NOT SOMEHOW CANON??? But I always thought Crowley was just the wildest Queen fan ever. Bc his Bentley always plays Queen. And that was the first thing (right at the beginning) that made me love Crowley in the show, bc I LOVE QUEEN, I LITERALLY CANNOT UNDERSTAND HOW ANYBODY COULD EVER NOT LIKE QUEEN (I was very offended when, last year, some old guy told me he didn't like Queen bc they were too "camp" for him. (Actually, he said "tuntig" which is an offensive term in German, bc we had that conversation in German.) I never spoke to the guy again.) ANYGAY, then I read the book and found out that it's not actually Crowley who likes to listen to Queen all the time, but the Bentley. That was quite a disappointment at first. For like a minute. Then I decided the Bentley is now my favourite GO character. I draw a heart around it every time it's mentioned in the book. :D (I still headcanon Crowley loving Queen tho)

[castle-dominion]

4x20 the limey

man's in trouble nvm he's the killer Oh no he totally gonna get caught-- NO IS IT GOING TO BE A DOUBLE HOMICIDE WHERE HE KILLS THE CLEANING STAFF TOO? but dang he should have put up the do not disturb sign Love the music btw, 10/10 Girl just take the coat with you Strokes her face... sus U gonna run after him?

u'r a detective u should have figured out he heard you in the box. Lanie is SO right but gosh I cannot believe it has been four years! LP: You remember how he used to be, girl on either arm? Me: Yeah that's how he was but even back in s2 during his book launch party the girl on either arm were his mother & daughter respectively. Also what's with her outfit? What's her shirt? KB: What if it doesn’t work? What if it ends up like you and Javi? ((first names still shock me but they are outside of work rn speaking as friends in relationships ofc it's going to be his first name)) LP: Well, at least we gave it a shot. ((So true bestie)) And so it didn’t work out. So what? Now we can move on, ((Heck yeah)) give or take the occasional booty call. ((Wait what?)) You should have heard me out loud there.

Why didn't lanie get the call first? Wrong times & definitely wrong times Gina? Not gina just some gal Wow castle is very... intense Wow vegas? lmao Is this his rebound or he trying to make her jealous or what??

Not robbed for that but maybe robbed for smth else? Like a really fancy expensive painting? LP: Like you waited too long! KB: THE VIC "Espo" is so weird

How do you have jobs in two countries at once? it's insane. "choices" you say. "unconventional" you say. Like escorts, not necessarily sex workers but also pretty dates. idk.

KB, assuming they have the shared brainwave thing going: Are you thinking what I’m thinking? RC, being horny & silly & a man who likes to party (while theoretically also drawing out the murderer or witnesses): Yeah, that we should throw a party and hire a bunch of models.

What is WITH ryan's outfit today? Not necessarily good not necessarily bad, it's just,, that vest has an interesting hem on it.

Ok so she has her gun out but they are not wearing their vests? Also don't just barge in that's horrible. Announce yourself. *walks into the room wearing Very Little* He just cover's beckett's eyes while she's holding a gun OHHH I just noticed the accent!

That's sweet. I mean he's right. She's right nvm He's also right nvm. Sus. Nobody else tossed it, you're the tornado in the room. Like beckett & Royce. Colin Hunt: He made her put pepper spray in her jacket lining. that's where I found it. KB: Found what? ME: The pepper spray??? That's what he just said Girl you're technically witholding evidence rn but that's so valid bestie. I kind of like him. He's a lot like beckett. Castle seems surprised she went down without a fight but that's bc beckett is territorial, I'm of the perspective that she knows his situation & that's why she didn't fight too much. That or made gates fight her battle.

RC: Yeah, well, sometimes it’s the people we think we know the best that we don’t really know at all.

RC: Well, I guess it’s not outsiders she doesn’t like. It’s just me. *looks at her in her office rly quick* Unless she just put the key there for safekeeping bro. I really like keys. Arco-Rifkin 1130R. feo k1/elevator key (tbh it's good until you need a second key behind the panel in the elevator), c415a, ch751 (that entire line is good), 1284x (kind of useless for me personally lol), 16 120, (plus jigglers & a wire loop heheh), 222343 (I don't remember this one actually), & a cuff key (castle had one of these. btw you're more likely to get accidentally cuffed in some sort of sex cult than accidentally cuffed by cops but whatever it's useful either way), plus of course my lockpick set which I don't carry around bc it is illegal. ugh I love a good key.

KB: He's from scotland yard JE: !! Holy crap that's a great photo there just fist in face for the camera like that lol Castle actin real weird here. Oh that's why. She misses him omo it's so sad a few HOURS?

Nicky Jay: Hell, yeah, I clocked her! Biggie slim,,, hold on that's an oxymoron

Love his hat. Angry sex yeah lol Castle would sympathize with the "women are powerless against my charm" dude

That's a great photo they're using of him lol btw we are missing ryan & castle here, it's beckett espt & hunt. (Maybe ryan is castl'es lunch date lol) & now it's just her & hunt. Weird how they have these situations go in these directions to leave them in groups like this. "total pants" is not smth I have heard before CH: I just wanted her to think I sympathized. And honestly, after meeting Biggie Slim, I do. Me, for just a second: Hold on do you mean you sympathize with her bc he's hot or are you just european? Me: Wait he has a wandering eye & he's kind of an a-hole, you sympahize with her for those reasons. nvm. She Is Not Talking About Random People Right Now.

I totally thought Lanie would hit on Colin (also lanie has a nice rack but I feel bad for her bc I know how much of a hassle boobs can be. The trans man in me & the lesbian in me are fighting rn.) I thought for a sec that the bruise had a fingerprint but no it was the lotion, phew, I was insane for a sec there. Sus how he just goes away to make a call like that. LP, being the realest fellow on the show: Look, maybe it’s the wrong time, or maybe he’s even the wrong guy, but if he is, how long are you gonna wait to find out?

So now we know Dr Parish has been here for ten years. & interesting shot there, we usually don't see that perspective.

Oh he just excused himself bc he was sad & uncomfy. I thought he was closer to her dad's age but maybe it's the way fathers say "I have the prettiest baby girl in all the land" All dads are supposed to interrogate the date lol what if she IS a different person? KB: People change when you’re not looking. HHHH I like how she says "excuse me" before answering her phone & then answers mid-ring, smth movies often don't do. He really is replacement-castle rn, maybe she can make castle jealous. (But he's from over the pond, no wonder esposito doesn't look into him when he's trying to figure out beckett's boyfriend in s5)

Ryan looks normal again. that's good. Looked like a phone number at first Where did she get the photo from?

"I'll bet" At least he is pulling in his favours with his scotland yard mates. Reminds me of the detective slaughter episode except hunt probs does not need to lend out a ferarri for favours.

Ah nepotism. I got my first job because the owners were my mom's cousins. Well that & they were short staffed & I had experience in kitchens. Good thing is I didn't need a resumé. In fact, my previous job was busking so I didn't need a resumé for that either, & then my most recent job I had an impromptu interview on the spot (neither me nor the interviewer were prepared, we just sat down in the cafeteria at my college, I was still wearing my whites from class) apparently there was a competition to see who could hire the most people & they got a bonus for every person they hired. So I haven't needed a resumé for any job I've had in my short life so far. Well there was this one time I had a resumé & technically got a job but then the owner (a guy I knew) went to china & I never actually got hired. So the one job I got with a resumé I never worked & all the jobs I've worked I haven't needed a resumé. Ah, I was just wondering where Ryan was! Castle spinning again. Not super into it. "kill" his marriage & career lol. Silence speaks. They won't be Nigel's prints. It won't be a match. It wouldn't be a good story if that happened to be the case.

Ooh heck YES look at ryan there MMm! Shiny red back on that suit vest & it has stripes not in colour but because the weave direction changes? Beautiful! Rolling up his sleeves? I could die right now. Esposito on the other hand is wearing a plain long-sleeved sweater, the kind of thing I have started wearing recently bc I want to hide my SH scars but it is too hot for a real sweater. That's the kind of shirt I wear at home when I want to be comfortable not fashionable. (Except when I embroider it to look pretty.) The boys finishing each other's sentences hh so good. I also can't help it, Ryan rolling up his sleeves is not smth I thought I needed.

*castle rolls a whiteboard across the screen* *rysposito look over with mild confusion, & only half intrigue* He has some good art skills there apparently I've posted the youtube clip of this, right? bc it was hilarious. & I've posted screenshots of the pictures Castle uses for them, right? Btw, how did castle get the floor plan for the building? ok yes I did post it & I will reblog it BUT THE YOUTUBE ACCOUNT ASSOCIATED WITH THE VIDEO HAS BEEN TERMINATED??? SCREW THAT. I guess I WILL have to film the clip to post. See my other post for my comments

Ooh love the music The boys watching "or they could do that"

CH: He’s British. Trust me, he drinks Oh woman I miss dancing. But it is hard (for me) to dance to that kind of jazz. Aw that was sweet. "Well, that’s because my companion is the most beautiful woman in this room." He has gained a surprising amount of respect from me throughout this episode. It would be nice if he were a recurring character. "These aren’t my people. My people are the ones carrying the trays. Yeah. I grew up on the East End. My mum cleaned flats. Dad worked in a factory. They wanted something better, they just…they couldn’t quite get it." T Eaton Fiddle? Beckett backstory!!! KB: I grew up in the city, and, uh, went to college in California. I struggle to trust "my calling" answers. Nurses who say it is their calling tend to be more in love with being a people-helper than actually helping people. Saviour complex. Like how cops often have the hero complex where they are more in love with being a cop than actually doing things that would get you listed as a hero in my book. She just doesn't answer whether it leaves time for personal life. "Call her the bit the way I'm committed to her" - my older bro That dress is too long to dance in btw, I could never.

Ugly ties lol. Not a good music transition imo... Becks is way too obvious here. "Jean Harrington, bored." LMAO THAT WAS ACTUALLY KIND OF FUNNY Mum totally thought that she switched the glasses

But ew how can u dance with the glass?

Nigel Wyndham: Well, what meets the eye is irresistible. She is being SO obvious

He is really struggling to get there huh. You know what? She should have tripped him & made him break the glass & then they could have stolen all the broken pieces.

She is SO struggling to dance with him rn, just focus on dancing, you can let hunt out of your eyes for a sec babe! "Other activities" lol Casually grabs a caviar & what is even going on? I SAW THAT WEIRD THING IN HER BRA, I WAS SO CONFUSED.

are there ALL of his prints on the case? WHICH finger's partial was on the vic? Also in s1e1 they had to wait ages for the fingerprints to go through, now ryan can just run it three times???

CASTLE Or a better path might be to look into this mysterious number that Naomi wrote on the back of that photo, which is a mystery no longer.

[Castle points to the "W4-1949-898" written on the murder board and then hands Esposito a box of leftovers. for some reason he decides that esposito would like this food, or maybe esposito told him "if you have any leftovers bring em back for me"] JE: Is this lobster, bro? RC: Lucky for you, Jacinda's a light eater. You heat that up, little bit of melted butter-- KB: *ahem* The Case maybe? Succulent? Earthy yet elegant pinot noire? Girl RC: Right. Well, we were going over the file. Turns out Jacinda's quite a little crime solver. KB: !?!? You showed the stewardess the evidence file? RC: No. *laughs/scoffs* RC: I took a picture of it with my phone.

Where IS ryan rn? lmao the coffee is so awkward Does the end justify the means? Maybe, but what if it did not have that end?

Ooh oh heck I love this, look at the way he walks! CH: Well, Then it's a good thing I'm not NYPD. RC: *that's my line!*

Bauer? Really? Ryan is such a smarty pants, it is 200lbs so it must be sturdy, it would not be a flimsy cardboard box. (Maybe a sturdy one ig... it depends on the contents)

MORGAN (AIRPORT SECURITY): Agent Bauer! I need you to step outta there, please. KR: Okay, that didn't sound good. RC: Agent Bauer--what did he expect? CH (on cell): I heard that.

CH: It's clear to me that you've been working harder than a… (!???!?) …one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest. DHAFKJDH WHAT He spent a LONG time waiting to tell them it was missiles

lol I love esposito's face when hunt talks about getting into hot water.

All finishing each others sentences, five people same brainwaves

Man just happens to know the name

She demands I gotta supply lmao Man has a nice hat btw Oh wow the plot thickens I hope biggie slim is not the murderer Ok nvm this is sad

*calls for security* *security shows up* *they arrest him instead lol*

Her eyes went so squinty & cute when she smiled there uwu, I might snag a pic tbh. K I did, uploading rn. Tbh I wish that esposito had looked into colin hunt when he was trying to find beckett's boyf in s5 Fun & uncomplicated. That's what my life needs right now. tbh that's totally valid

jdshjkadshfkjdfh pining

Ok so I think I'll record a few clips to post now

[royal-babey]

//rant incoming

Thank u uk government I love losing more and more rights oh yes sunak if you get into office put me in the british re-education camps you’re gonna be dragging most of fucking britain into them because we all hate where we live and yes please government remove more abortion rights sneakily, remove gender equality act, remove bodily autonomy rights for anyone with a uterus and also bring back conversion therapy and take away out human rights in general so you can pick and choose. Also yes don’t solve the current cost of living crisis, please put electricity and gas prices up more, kill more and more of us poor people who want to just live and not eat tory shit

Anyway I’m fucking tired and every single day of living is like a chore. Thousands are expected to die this winter btw and the government is like welp don’t be poor and old ig 🤷 there are thousands of empty houses and thousands of homeless too. If you live in britain expect to walk past frozen corpses of any age

I’m tired of no one giving a shit because we’re not america. We have no rights to protest right now either. Trans people are not safe from conversion therapy. The only people running for prime minister are tory and labour.

Scotland is meant to be having an independence referendum next year but I don’t see that happening, no doubt it’ll be blocked again. More and more benefits too will be cut off. Grocery stores are empty.

Also the NHS is severely underfunded and more and more doctors and nurses are leaving. People haven’t been able to see dentists in years and have resorted to pulling their own teeth out. There are no mental health services, fucking none.

For the chronically ill and severely mentally ill like myself, I cannot get access to a clinic that would help me and I have BEEN TOLD unless I’m going to kill myself, don’t try to see a psychiatrist. I was told this by a doctors office receptionist.

We are living in fucking dystopia and no one wants to care. I for one am filled with so much anger and anxiety constantly. I am terrified for my family and my friends who live here too.

We are fucked and no one cares. Not one single person seems to be willing to fight. It’s illegal for us to fight too basically.

[butchfemmebatcat]

tag 10 people you want to get to know better. ty @kenstewdivorce sorry i’m doing it while high :(

Relationship status: no bitches :(

Favorite color: teal? idk i like shades of blue and green

Favorite foods: spam musubi i love you suchi i love u rice i love u

Song stuck in head: dilemma by Nelly + Kelly Rowland ^-^

Last thing i googled: peter falk eyes i know that sounds lik really faggy but i wantd to see if he has a laxy eye or not its a glass eye btw!

Current time: 11;25pm!

Dream trip: finland its saur pretty or maybe scotland i feel like i’d have fun there i would just bitch about the food or maybe to visit max and cheeese but i think i might do tht before the end of the year

Something I want: sonic chili cheese dog rice tonkotsu from akebono that jcash vinyl i wanted also the dolly parton one also that bad bunny purple/smoke color vinyl it was so sexy oh also little ceasar pretzel crust pizza come bacak babygirl i miss u

Tagging: @curseplacer @primalfears @mudkipper @andshecanproveitwasolidrighthook um isk who else @faghalforc @antanpilot @antideutschland @jester-mereel idk who else

[pacifymebby]

Hi love! I Noticed a lot of people talking about and like clipping the little things that the lids were up to and stuff on stage at reading and obviously it was recorded so we can see it over in a lot more like detail but I thought I’d just like say afew things that I noticed at Leeds idk I feel like you might like to hear abt uno idk lol feel free to ignore me haha x So I was absolutely fucking steaming lmao it’s like dominos if you get drunk the wednesday which I did pretty much by accident you fight the hangover by getting more paralytic because you don’t want to waste the day dealing with it and that just basically lasts until it all comes crumbling Tuesday morning and you think you’ll have to take the work day off to take yourself off to a hospital anyway so I only really remember like bits but I got loads of decent videos from my bfs shoulders and a lot of us falling over haha.

So like I immediately noticed how lonely bondy was pretty much straight after longshot I hopped to get a good view of him from over people and yh he looked like a lonely little boy :( I’m not suggesting anything I just wanted to give him a big fat hug but I figured they were probably quite focused on not fucking up so I thought maybe he was just concentrated on his guitar n his little peddle thingys n stuff.

Idk what he’s going for with the outfits but I was not there for it idk if anyone got a good picture honestly you do you boo he obviously looks better then I ever will but I miss the fluffy hair n oversized tees :(

I also don’t see how ppl thought they were emotional or really any different at all van spoke quite abit I think in between each song again I was fucking steaming so I only have like blurry memories but he just seemed his regular happy self uno?

I didn’t see Bob or benji at all :( like I didn’t notice them much on the cameras either especially not Bob. I kinda feel like they all don’t really enjoy the bigger shows all that much like obviously playing Leeds headline Is a massive fucking humongous accomplishment and I’m so fucking proud of them but I dunno there’s just so much distance between the crowd and the artists and I feel like van wouldn’t have enjoyed that much at all. And also he didn’t really look at us once his eyes were shut or they were on his guitar or they were literally anywhere else idk he talked about playing introducing all those years ago but other then that there wasn’t really much recognition that there was even a crowd there haha which again means absolutely nothing they killed it as usual and ofc they’re distant they’ve obviously chosen the distance so I think they all seemed okay and I wish them all the best in the world they sounded great and ofc looked great and they’re all the sweetest babes and whatever they want in life I’m all for and is what I want in life and I hope they look after themselves most of all whatever that is if that’s distance from their fans of whatever I wish them the best and I can wholeheartedly say that I wouldn’t want all of it like that yet again I didn’t really choose it did I haha anyway love them all :) x (I went into work on the Tuesday Btw I acc GOT UP AT SIX AM and took myself off to a fucking warehouse where I at the ripe old age of 18 pack ppls fucking boots body lotion for a living lmao biggest achievement tha bigger then headlining r&l fucking throwing up and crying in my dusty ass worst toilet in Scotland esc work toilets)

Ahhh man yous are probably still a little bit pissed now, imagine getting hammered on the Wednesday, am impressed u survived and am mad impressed u actually made it into work there's no way id have made it into work man.

I actually really appreciated this little insight to what it was like there, I think from my own experience at festivals the band to fan interaction is quite often a bit of a let down /feels really distant and strange bc of how far a crowd are from the stage and stuff.

There's a part of me that thinks we're all super reading into it all too much? Like we're seeing them looking emotional or sad and lonely looking because we think there's something wrong. Like ur more likely to notice things like that when you're working on a theory that they fit. Idk.

That's so sad about Bondy though man, poor wee soul I wanna give him a hug.

I do wonder if it woulda been a massive shock to their system being back, or whether 2 years off has reminded them what normal life is and they think they might quite like normal life. Idk I think it must be kind of overwhelming playing a show that massive after nothing for two years, they haven't even done a warm up gig as far as I know? Like a lot of other bands usually do a small gig somewhere random before a big show like that and instead they've just gone straight in at the deep end. I reckon that would be a shock to the system.

Anyway I too hope they enjoyed themselves and hope they feel proud and like they have achieved something cause they really have done.

Idk I love them a lot and they're a class band and I hope they aren't struggling I really do.