#Love each other even when we hate each other [Derek & Meredith]

[crowsandmurder]

Derek Shepherd Tags and Verses

Derek  ✖ (Aesthetics)

Derek ✖ (Thoughts)

Derek ✖ (Character Development)

Derek  ✖ (Crack)

Derek ✖ (Headcanons)

Derek  ✖ (Photos)

Derek  ✖ (Starter Call)

BIOGRAPHY

Derek Christopher Shepherd was born and raised in New York. He grew up in a family of means, with his father being a renowned surgeon and his mother an artist. His childhood best friend was Mark Sloan, who later had an affair with his first wife. He and younger sister Amelia witnessed their father's murder.

Derek attended prestigious institutions for his medical education. He pursued a degree in medicine, excelling in his studies. Derek specialized in neurosurgery, demonstrating a particular aptitude for surgical procedures involving the brain and nervous system.

After completing his medical training, Derek embarked on a successful career as a neurosurgeon. He gained recognition within the medical community for his exceptional surgical skills, innovative approaches to complex cases, and calm demeanor under pressure. Derek held positions at esteemed hospitals across the country, earning respect and admiration from colleagues and patients alike.

Derek attended prestigious institutions for his medical education. He pursued a degree in medicine, excelling in his studies. Derek specialized in neurosurgery, demonstrating a particular aptitude for surgical procedures involving the brain and nervous system.

Derek embarked on his medical career, establishing himself as a skilled neurosurgeon. He gained recognition within the medical community for his exceptional surgical skills and innovative approaches to complex cases.

Derek married Addison Montgomery, a talented surgeon, early in his career. Their marriage faced challenges, including Addison's infidelity and the strain it placed on their relationship.

Derek accepted a position at Seattle Grace Hospital, where he became Chief of Neurosurgery. He encountered Meredith Grey, a surgical intern, for the first time, setting the stage for their relationship. Derek and Meredith's relationship evolved from a professional mentorship to a romantic one.

They navigated numerous obstacles, including Derek's lingering feelings for Addison and Meredith's personal struggles. They survived many near-death experiences. Despite breakups and makeups, their love endured, leading to marriage and starting a family together.

Derek continued to excel in his career, pioneering new techniques in neurosurgery. He held leadership positions at Seattle Grace Hospital, earning respect and admiration from colleagues and patients alike. He survived things like plane crashes, shooting and many other things.

Derek's life was cut short tragically in a car accident. His death devastated Meredith and had a profound impact on those who knew and loved him. Derek's legacy lived on through the lives he touched and the contributions he made to the field of neurosurgery.

His memory continued to influence Meredith and others, shaping their personal and professional journeys.

His actual canon bio: HERE, which has more details.

VERSES:

V: An Empire State Sense of Mind [New York Years]

Derek Shepherd, born and raised in New York had his early life there, alongside 4 sisters and best friend Mark Sloan. He married Addison Montgomery there, before leaving it all behind.

V: McDreamy: It's a beautiful day to save lives [Life in Seattle]

Derek Shepherd. McDreamy. Head of Neuro. Chief of Surgery. Director of the Brain Mapping Initiative. Those were all titles, jobs. He spent years in Seattle, finding true love and excelling and becoming one of the world's best neurosurgeons. So many cases and trials and victories. Plus, the frequent near death experiences.

V: I didn't become a doctor because I wanted to be God. [Canon Divergency and AU]

Canon isn't always what works best. Sometimes, AU can be good, as well as divergency from canon.

V: Dying is exhausting [Visions or dream sequences of Derek]

Derek has appeared to Meredith in visions. He may pop up to her or others in dreams or visions.

Faceclaim(s): Patrick Dempsey

[emitheduck]

Hey sorry if you don’t know if you’ve seen Grey’s Anatomy it, but if you do, can you write a Spencer Reid x reader! Where they’ve been engaged for a long time but they kept having to push the wedding back so like Meredith and Derek they literally get married on a post it 💀and like the teams reaction and stuff

A/N: i absolutely LOVE this request, and I wish it didn’t get buried in my inbox because i love greys so much and this is just too cute (also im not stealing if i use quotes from greys that’s just, what this request is)

MASTERLIST

–

“Dammit, how many times are we going to get another invite you your wedding?” Emily snapped, slamming down the invite right onto Spencers desk, causing his coffee to spill over the sides of the mug. 

“Listen, I know we’ve had to reschedule it a few times–” Spencer started to answer, before Derek interrupted him with a laugh.

“A few times? You guys have changed the date at least three different times.” Derek said, shaking his head before going back to look down at his work. “If you don’t want to get married, why don’t you just, not get married?”

(Y/n) walked over, frowning as she looked over at Spencer, clearly tears in her eyes. “The venue just called. A water pipe blew, and they’re not going to be ready on the date, we’ll have to reschedule again.” She said to him quickly, running to the breakroom before he could get a chance to console her. 

Spencer looked up at Emily, deciding it was a good time to both help his fiance and also run away from her. “(Y/n), it’s okay, we can find another venue, or we can even try for a different day!” He told her, sighing when he saw her. She was sitting down at the table, head in hands and sobbing. “I just wanted our wedding to be special, and we’ve had to reschedule three different times now. I’m so sorry.” She said to him between sobs.

“Hey, look at me.” He told her softly, reaching over and gently raising her chin with his palm. “I love you, and no venue is going to even change that.” He paused, rifling through his pockets. “Here. Let’s get married.”

(Y/n) looked at him, confused as he slapped down a stack of Post-It’s on the table in front of them. “What’s that going to do?”

“I want to be with you forever, and you want to be with me forever. And if we want to do that, we’re going to need to write down some vows.” Spencer smiled, reaching over and grabbing a pen off the breakroom table. “Look, these Post-its are blue and brand new, I’m borrowing this pen and I’m sure it’s old; we have everything we need.”

She felt like she would cry again, not from being upset that their wedding had been changed three times, but the feeling he was willing to ignore all of that and still marry her–still love her. “What should we write?” She asked, taking the end of her sleeve to dry her eyes.

Spencer paused, looking down at the little square of paper. “We promise to love each other, even if we hate each other.” He said, writing it down as she nodded.

“We take care of each other no matter what.” (Y/n) told him, watching him write it down. “No running. You’re stuck with me.”

“More like, you’re stuck with me.” He teased as he wrote it down. “One last one. It’s forever. I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” He said, feeling his cheeks heat up as he created two signature lines on the paper. “I, Spencer Reid, am signing his and agreeing to these vows.” He said as he handed her the pen.

(Y/n) smiled, taking the pen from him. “I love you so much. I truly never thought I would find someone who understands me, and you still surprise me every day.” She told him, signing her name on the line. 

Spencer leaned down, pulling her closer to himself to kiss her. His hands finding their way to the small of her back while hers rested on his shoulder. They both pulled away, flushed and teary eyed. “Now, we will go to city hall, make this official. And one day, we will be able to have an actual ceremony; but none of that stuff even matters because you’re my wife.”

The two walked out of the breakroom hand-in-hand. “Hey does anyone want to come with us? Pretty sure we need two witnesses if we wanted to get married at city hall?” Without even more explanation, they weren’t joined by two witnesses; but by the entire team. 

“So you both got married on a Post-it note?” Penelope asked as she read over the small piece of paper. “I’ll have to get you guys a frame for this or something. I don’t want anyone to think it’s trash.”

“We wouldn’t have it any other way.” Spencer smiled, leaning down and pressing a quick kiss to his new wife’s cheek.

MASTERLIST

[swiftsdelucaa]

Could I please have an imagine where the reader and Meredith Grey have been best friends since childhood. The thing is that they both have had feelings for each other for years but never said anything. When they both start at Seattle Grace Meredith goes out with Derek and the reader starts something with another intern (doesn’t matter who). Both begin to realize that they are jealous and that they want to be together. (Possible conversations between Derek and the other person talking about how obvious it is) (like they give up their relationships for the other to be happy) fluffy and angsty please?

❛ 𝑼𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒍 𝒏𝒐𝒘 ❜

𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: Meredith Grey x f!reader ♡

𝘼/𝙣: I've chosen Jackson, I haven't written much for him yet! So this will be also a minor Jackson Avery x reader, anyway I hope you'll like the rest! <3

In every situation a choice must be made. And most of the time the choice you make should satisfy your need. You can choose whether to wait and keep hoping or go ahead in search of something new. This was your choice. Despite your strong feelings for Meredith, you've decided to let it go so you can change things.

There was this guy, pretty cute, who was in the same internship class as you and he seemed to be hitting on you a lot. When you saw Meredith again you thought it was a sign of destiny and that you might finally come forward, but she didn't seem to show any interest and she even started dating someone else. An attending. Derek Shepherd. Chief of Neurosurgery. At first it hurt you, but then you thought about doing the same and agreeing to go out with Jackson.

It wasn't bad at all, in fact he really made you feel good. He was so nice and kind to you, you almost thought you could fall in love with him and turn this into a serious relationship. But it still bothered you a lot seeing Meredith with someone else and you hated yourself for it.

Sometimes she was in the corridors with Derek, blowing a few kisses while they talked, not caring about the people passing by, but just looking like she wanted to show off, so you did the same with Jackson when you saw her, letting his lips wrap yours as they met passionately. The only result was a few glances between you, nothing more. But neither of them wanted to stop. You also tended to highlight your plans for the evening or the day, which confused the hell out of Jackson and Derek, but despite having a huge effect on both of you.

Derek and Jackson seemed to notice, it was starting to get so weird. As much as Jackson might have displeased him he'd noticed you were somehow jealous of Derek, he'd understood you cared especially for Meredith, but of course you'd never tell him, so the only thing he could do was continue to put up with it all and go after you.

One morning you rushed in together, had coffee together and left before him since you had a surgery scheduled and didn't want to be late. He decided to take it slower.

"Avery" Derek's voice caught his attention, making him stop sipping his coffee in peace.

"Doctor Shepherd" he politely greeted him.

"Okay..." he looked embarrassed. "I'll get right to the point" he stated bringing a rather curious expression to Jackson's face. Was that what he was thinking about?

"I think you've noticed it too, cause it's obvious..." he started.

"Meredith and Y/n?" he asked to have the certainty. He did an expression to confirm.

"I know this isn't professional, but we need to clarify it" Jackson nodded.

"Meredith told me about Y/n, they knew each other since childhood" Jackson raised his eyes.

"Oh... I did n't know..." in his head he had always limited himself to putting the pieces together, but you had never spoken to him about Meredith. And he had never bothered to ask for information.

"And it seems like both will never face it" The two shared the same suspicions.

"That's difficult" Jackson continued.

There was a moment of silence between the two, then when perhaps the situation was finally about to change, Derek was called.

Jackson just strayed there, thinking about it. He had a huge crush on you but apparently he understood this wasn't what you wanted.

Before he could be late too, he entered, with all the thoughts still whirling through his head. In fact they were able to ruin his whole day, and as soon as he had a chance to talk to you, he took you to a call-room to clarify.

Thinking you understood what he wanted to do, you welcomed him with an intense kiss. And although he liked it, he interrupted the situation; he was going to have a serious conversation.

"You okay?" you asked him having noticed something weird.

"Is this what do you want, Y/n?" he asked looking deeply at your eyes. You were confused.

"Jackson, what-"

"You don't want me, I know. You don't want us" his expression as he pronounced those words almost broke you. But deep down you knew what he was referring to and you couldn't say anything against it. He nodded at your silence.

"It's her, Meredith" he continued.

"Jackson, I'm so sorry, I... you're very good..." you tried to get out of it.

"I know, it's okay" he put a hand on your cheek. "I won't be the one who will prevent you to be happy" he gave you a smile, that you knew were forced, and without adding anything else, he left the room.

He did this for you. You almost wanted to cry, even you didn't know the reason. You loved Meredith Grey, and this was ruining your life.

That same evening you went to Joe's bar, hoping it would helped you throw this day in the trash. You sat down and asked the usual drink, tequila.

"Tequila for me too, please" you turned to Meredith when you heard her voice next to you. You weren't in the best mood to face her, so you just ignored it all and continued drinking.

"Shitty day?" she asked you.

"Yeah" she seemed to want to talk. "You?" you asked.

"Derek doesn't talk to me" she said placing the shot glass back on the table. "Because of you" she continued. “And… I think he's right” she admitted. You looked at her, feeling a little pissed.

"Really Meredith?" you crossed your arms after you finished drinking. “Well, you could say that first, you know? You made me feel like a crap about this situation” She raised her eyes.

"Did I do this to you Y/n? You didn't do anything either!" she said irritated and making you feel a little guilty. But it was both's fault. None of you said anything, even the feeling was strong.

You looked into her eyes, before forgetting everything and approaching to kiss her. It was all you needed, knowing that you both felt the same way and that you would do anything to have each other's presence close.

You pull apart for a second to look at each other, can't helping but smiling and kept doing it as you stumble into another kiss.

[there-are-many-ways-to-smile]

Since I've decided not to watch anymore seasons of Grey's. I want to take this time to talk about stuff I probably have no business talking about because I didn't watch the actual episodes. 😅

This is gonna be very out of order.

☆: As much as I like Bailey, Alex should have the board chair. Cristina left it for him and Richard shouldn't even be allowed to Nominate anyone. He's not even on the board.

☆: Maggie and Jackson dating each other is gross. People keep saying it fine cause they didn't grow up together. I don't care. Them being attracted to each other while their parents are dating/married is disgusting. Like that's literally your legal sibling.

☆: if I watched season 14, Casey Parker would have been a favorite character. I’ve only seen clips on him and top tier, him and Cristina and maybe Alex would have been so powerfully unhinged. Lol

☆: Idk the relationship with Maggie and Meredith but I think Maggie expecting Meredith to tell her everything about her life is a bit much, like it’s so much and she just met you. So obviously she’s not gonna be like here’s my life story. Idk what’s going on with Alex but you can’t fault Meredith for trusting him over Maggie she’s known the dude for like ten years…

☆: Maggie 100 percent should waited to be on better terms with Meredith before dropping the “we share a mom�� bomb.

☆: I'm so confused on the Maggie and Jackson getting married thing. Because how would that have worked. Husband and wife while also being step-siblings. 🤮

☆: People keep bringing up Lexie whenever they see Maggie and calling her a lexie replacement. Listen one, Chyler Leigh wanted to be killed off the show, she and Maggie could have been friends or whatever. Stop trying to compare the them. Two, greys anatomy had Maggie planned since day one, albeit more so as a brother.

☆: I would have lowkey loved if Maggie was a brother instead of a sister. I just think would have been interesting. Probably something like

Meredith:"I've never had a brother before"

Derek or someone "what are you talking about? Isn't Alex kind of like having a brother?"

Then a cute scene of Alex and Meredith being like siblings. Idk

☆: the Nathan drama of season 13 is wild, after all that drama that happened when Meredith first met Derek. I can't even imagine her seeing someone know her sister Maggie liked and was actively going on dates with. [Tbh i have no idea if there were dates but the clip made it sound like that.] Nathan is trash for not telling Maggie he liked Meredith.

☆: I just saw Meredith and Jackson goodbye, and I actually like them. I remember when izzie came back to work after the merge and Alex, Cristina, Meredith and Jackson were all eating lunch together, and he said something and one of them was like "who invited you here?" And Meredith was all like "I did." That shit was cute. I wish season 10 and lower had more scenes of them being friends.

☆: I don't like Maggie and Jackson, but emotional cheating is still cheating.. it's exactly like what april was doing to Matthew..

☆: not Stephanie trying to blame the harassment complaints on Leah, like she wasn't one of the reasons Leah did it in the first place. Don't crap where you eat? (This is from the episode where Leah returns, I saw a clip on youtube.)

□: While writing this I'm low-key thinking about going back to binge the show for Alex, but he's goodbye is so bad, and I hate him and Izzie so much. I refuse 😤 also I heard Callie character development suffers a lot 😭

☆: Why would they have Callie keep dating the woman who killed her friend? Hate that (I watched the dinner scene on YouTube)

If I see anymore scenes that I'm like oof to, I'll make a part two

Even though I have zero business complaining 😆

[briskofneuro]

Derek knew he made mistakes when it came to how he and Meredith had gotten together. He lied, he felt lost when he left his ex wife. He wasn’t proud of the man he first was. But once he felt Meredith it was like coming up for air. It was easy to fall in love with her. That giggle of hers when she felt embarrassed. That cute smile when she got a win with a patient. Of course Derek didn’t intend on hurting her. He felt the ache in his chest each time he felt her hurt. Our story wasn’t over; we’re linked together as a whole. 

Married and in love. With built in promises. To love you even if I hate you, even if I was fighting every urge to leave. Derek loves Meredith; and him disappearing on her wasn’t by choice. His hand was forced. The president to be exact; the research he did, the president told him he was at risk. Used his own family against him. And Derek would die and than put his family at risk. Which is why he fell into this predicament. He missed his wife; he was alone. He was stuck to a small shoe box room. And didn’t know what to do; he felt as if he was now going stir crazy, He needed to hear her voice; he needed a way to reach her; to say the words I’m okay. 

It was Meredith before we fell in love she was drunk on tequila half the time. Terrified of abandonment. All the mile stones we had as a couple, love, marriage, kids it was because she trusted me. Our souls were the same; we loved each other; a promise to be the other’s constant. And now Derek was the one who let her down. He sat on this discomfort of a bed, listening to her voice, and he felt heaven to hear her; and he felt that goofy grin play against his lips. But years? He had thought it was months? But years? He hadn’t been outside in years? Was the threat over and now he was held captive? Eyes nearly went wide now but he composed himself. “ Years? Mer.. I’m sorry. The president said anyone working for him was in danger.. They threatened you and our kids.. I felt I had no choice but to comply.” To agree to protect my family but was I the broken piece now? Was I the reason Mer may never forgive me?? 

A sigh clear as day because Derek reached out secretly; no one knew he had the phone, nor did the president and his guards have knowledge of the male making this call. But he saw an opportunity to hear her voice, to explain as much as he could. “ I don’t know.. I wish I did. But soon. I want to see you, I’m sorry I made  you feel like I left you. I would never leave you and our family.. You have to know that Mer..” A plead in his voice was it enough to keep his wife at may? To uncertainty?

We hide to Protect those we love.

@BredForSurgery

We hide to protect those we love. 

Derek knew how to pretend, he knew how to let the memories fade away. The day kept replaying in his head. The day he was to die; or so the people closest to him believed. Derek was working for the president; the weeks that led up to that fateful day was inserted in his mind. The constant back and forths; the battle of right and wrong with his wife. We fought day and night about who’s career was more important. It all felt foolish now. Because he had tracked the days since he was locked in this shoe box apartment. Locked confided into these walls. 

When he slept is when the president’s people would use the key to unlock the door, to enter and place the needed water and food for the day. Derek had been custom to the routine; he had started to map out the sounds in his head. He picked up on the cues; he had been laying on the bed the makeshift bed he had grown used to. The one blanket he had; rest over his frame; the lights flickered off. His breathing was steady to assume to anyone he was sound asleep. But he was alert; he wanted to know why. He wanted to know what game he was roped into. He had research; he had started to get closer to his nerves study; the reason why he nearly destroyed his own marriage. The last call kept roped inside his head, the promise to come back to her. Yes it was all guilt; guilt on letting another woman who wasn’t his wife kiss him. But it had only reminded him; there was only one woman he wanted to kiss. The only woman he wanted to fight with; to wake up next to each day. He could do the research anywhere; he could do the study in Seattle with the mediocre equipment; he rather settle than to be away from his wife. He went home to see her; to hold her in his arms. And he promised to be there; to come home. It felt like a faded promise now. 

It had been weeks since his car wreck; since the accident that occurred. His body was worn down; he remembered being at the hospital. He remembered urging the young child to help him, he could barely form his own words. He was dying; he felt the lack of blood that ran out of his body from the impact. He remembered going under for surgery. It all felt vague now, it all felt like a weird dream. Derek had woken up days later; he woke up in this room. The room that now felt like this never ending nightmare. He woke up feeling the pain in his head; the spinning of his head. Unfamiliar territory, the questions swirling in his mind. He was torn with himself. He was torn because he had no idea where he was. 

He had bags of food, a dozen bottled waters. Would probably last a few months; depending on how thirsty he was. The windows were pitch black; darken out. He had no sunlight. He had found a note attached to the end table besides his bed; “ For your safety.” My safety? Brows pushed together in confusion. The male only wanted to hear her voice; to hear her laugh again. He missed his family; his wife. He had a routine by now; he would wake up, he would stare at the ceiling. Lost until he found himself dizzy. He would drink water; he would eat a piece of a muffin that was brought to him. He felt like a prisoner; he felt alone. He was lost in the days; wandering how long he was here for. He had tossed and turned through the night probably driving himself crazy. 

He wanted to sneak out; he wanted to regain control of his life; he wasn’t a puppet he wasn’t the person to put his life on hold for someone else. He wanted to stop fearing what comes next. He was still when he heard the lock; he heard the click indicating a stranger was coming inside, he peeked an eye open, hands curled into fist under the blanket. A young teen maybe entered; that’s when he moved slowly with ease. No reason to alarm anyone. Derek lifted his head from the pillow; his body sat up. “ What’s going on kid?” The eye looked wide eyed; shock when he dropped the bags. 

“ I uh..” The kid was frozen in shock; all I knew was whatever trap I was in; a hellhold it had to do with the president. And my work with him; but I had more pressing matters on my mind. All I wanted was to let Meredith know I was alright. “ Listen I won’t tell, if you tell me, I just need your phone.” Nice; not ideal considering this teenager was a pawn in the bigger game; he helped keep me trapped. The kid was so scared of the outcome he had in fact coughed up the phone. Throwing it in my direction a pleasant smile graced the corners of my lips. “ President, you were in danger, but they said only one more day.” Nerves eating at the kid; I could tell as I had picked up the phone into my palms. Pressing the home screen; the male had dialed her number; our number as if I held it in memory. Raising the phone to my ear; I had waited listening to the dial tone. Meredith must think I left her; that I had lied to her. She probably hated me now; even if this was out of my control because if I was getting the worse end of the stick being in the dark myself; I can only imagine how in the dark my own wife was. 

“ Pick up..” I muttered under my breath; pressing my free hand to my forehead letting the nerves of what ifs settle in.

[twistys]

out of baby blog jail so tag drop <33

[change-the-world-someday]

I'll Be Here

Oh boy I'm back baby. Here's a Derek Shepherd x Teen!reader bc I just started Grey's Anatomy. I'm well aware I've had stuff in my inbox for over a year, and frankly I'll get round to them soon. I hope this tides you over.

Derek Shepherd x Teen!Reader

Summary: Who'd have thought the child of Derek Shepherd would suffer with something even he can't cure?

A/N: I've been twitching a lot lately so this was a comfort write. Derek and Meredith don't have a relationship, and there's a bit of canon divergence.

⚠️TW⚠️ Talk and descriptions of twitching/tics

—•—

You knew the moment you woke up you were going to have a bad day.

Your alarm went off at the bright and early nine and as you made a move to turn it off, your arm twitched, almost pushing it off your nightstand. You let out a sigh, leaning down and managing to shut it off and sit up.

Until you neck starts to snap left and right, tensing and relaxing each muscle.

“Fuck’s sake,” you mutter under your breath, standing and stretching, well, as much as you can before your twitches start up again. You makes your way downstairs, finding an empty kitchen and a note on the counter. You manage to pick it up and read it.

Sorry, I got called in today. Let me know when you’re up

— Dad

You shake your head, whistling and shaking your hands. Great, so you're alone on a day where your twitches are worse than normal. You sigh and head back upstairs, almost losing balance on the stairs, and takes a quick shower before trying to style your hair. With difficulty, you get changed before reaching over and grabbing your phone. You grip it tightly, until it’s flung across the room.

“Shit,” you mumble, reaching down and picking it up. You open your messages, trying to text your dad.

Y/N

Hi, up. Bad today

It’s short, and to the untrained eye, might seem pretty rude, but to you and your dad, is a warning. Heading back to the kitchen, you try to eat a bowl of cereal. Instead, you managed to spill the cereal twice, drop milk on the floor, and then poke yourself in the side of the face a few times with your spoon instead of eating.

Your phone buzzes.

Dad

Do you need me at

home?

Y/N

No. Just bad

Dad

Do you want to come

to the hospital? You

can stay in one of the

offices if you want

You think about it for a moment, though you don’t get too long before your phone starts ringing. You pick up.

“Hi—” you whistle “—hi Dad.”

You hear him sigh. “Hey kid. Do you want to come in today? I can make sure no one stops you and you can come straight to the office.”

You click, your neck jerking forward. “You sure? I’ve—“ you whistle “—never been there before. I don’t want—“ you click “—to become a case study.”

Your dad laughs lightly down the phone. “I won’t let them. Just make your way over, and keep your earphones in. Music helps.”

You nod, before your neck twitches to the side and cracks, making your dad wince audibly. “Okay. I’ll let you know—“ you whistle and sigh, clearly getting frustrated with yourself.

“I get it. Don’t work yourself up; it’ll only make it worse. See you soon. Love you.”

A ghost of a smile passes across your face. “Love you too, Dad.”

—•—

Derek hangs up and leaves the store cupboard, almost bumping into Dr Bailey as she marches past.

“Watch where you’re going, McDreamy,” she scolds and Derek smiles, though it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Bailey narrows her eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Y'N's coming here. They're having a bad day,” he replies and Bailey nods, immediately catching on. “No one else knows.”

Surprisingly enough, you haven’t met anyone from Derek’s work, except for Bailey and even then, that was an accident. You'd bumped into her on a bad day and Derek had to explain what was wrong. Ever since, Bailey’s had a soft spot for you.

“Not even the chief?” She asks and Derek shakes his head. “Did you warn them?” He nods. “Well, there’s not much else you can do.”

“They're texting me when they’re a few minutes away. If I get caught in surgery, can you meet them at the doors please?”

The two stop in the corridor, Bailey pulling him over. “I have my own schedule too, Shepherd.”

Derek nods. “I know, but you’re the only other person here they know, and you know how they can get in places they don’t know…”

Bailey looks around. “If you’re caught up, you owe me one.”

Derek smiles and nods, a look of relief on his face. “Thank you.”

—•—

You're walking down the street to the hospital, constantly readjusting your earphones so they don’t fall out. Your neck keeps snapping to the side and jerking forward, earning a few odd looks from strangers. You sigh, a few minutes away from the hospital, and pull out your phone. Before you can do anything, though, you promptly throw your phone on the pavement.

Thank god your dad bought you one of those industrial phone cases. You pick it up, dodging people as you go to call your dad. He picks up after two rings.

“Hi, I’m—“ you click “—a minute away.”

“Okay. I don’t think I’m going to be able to meet you at the doors. Just walk through, take the stairs to the fifth floor, and come down the hall. I’ll be in the break room, second door on the left.”

Your eyes widen; you're going to be by yourself? Walking through a hospital? Where no one knows you?

“O-Okay,” you stammer out and your dad sighs.

“I’m sorry kid. Everything’s going to be okay. I’ll see you in a bit.”

He hangs up and you take a breath, nodding to yourself. You pocket your phone and turn your music up as loud as it can be. Your dad was right, it does ease your twitching, though not as much as you'd like.

Fall Out Boy blasts through your earphones as you walk through the doors of Seattle Grace. You refuse to make eye contact with anyone, your neck twitch making it a lot easier to achieve. You click as you make your way to the stairwell, making your way up.

You don’t hear the calls of concerns from the interns following you, trying to catch up to you.

By the time you reach the fifth floor, the two interns have gone to find Dr Bailey to try and assist them, and Dr Shepherd who can help with the disorder being presented. They haven’t had someone who needs medical attention blatantly ignore them and go to a certain department before.

You lose your balance a little as you walk through the doors to the fifth floor, your neck jerking left and right repeatedly, muscles tensing and relaxing. Your hands are shaking and you walk like a new fawn.

You reach the door and push it open, whistling and clicking as you do so. At least you can see your dad today.

—•—

Derek knows immediately what kind of day is happening when you steps into the room. You're a jerking mess, neck and shoulders tensing and relaxing as though given electric shocks. You're whistling, clicking, and your eyes have recently started screwing shut, temporarily blinding you.

And that’s with your headphones in.

“Hey Y/N,” he greets, gently taking one earbud out of your ear and leading you to the seats. At least if you're sat, you have less of a chance of hurting yourself.

“Hi Dad,” you reply until a whistle comes back out. “S-Sorry.”

“Hey,” Derek places a firm but kind hand on your shoulder, “don’t apologise. None of this is your fault.” There’s a silence between you two, only broken by the sound coming from the removed earphone. “Fall Out Boy? Nice choice.”

Your neck snaps but you give a small smile. “Thanks.”

“Do you want something to eat? Did you manage to get some breakfast?” You sigh, your hands twitching and trembling, which tells Derek everything he needs to know. “Is it a bomb-site there?”

You shake your head. “I managed—“ you whistle “—to clean up. Took ages.” Your neck jerks forward. Derek sighs, putting an arm around you and pulling you into his side. You've always been wary; you never want to hurt your dad accidentally but Derek doesn’t care. You're his kid, and nothing will change that.

“You’re okay. Do you want some lunch? We can go to the cafeteria—they’ve got some pizza in there that’s actually pretty good.”

You nod, knowing anything you try to say will be interrupted by one of your twitches. You walk alongside Derek, trying your hardest to suppress your twitching as you make your way through the hospital and into to lift, where a few others are going to different floors. Derek notices, and leans into your ear. “You don’t have to hide it here, kid. Promise.”

There’s an audible sigh of relief from you as you let out a scatter of twitches, your neck jerking forward as you whistle and click. Your hands shake and flap and you let it all go. A few of the doctors and nurses turn around to look at you, but one harsh glare from Dr Shepherd makes them all go back to minding their own business.

You exit the lift and walk through the corridors to the cafeteria. You join the queue and you feel Derek keep an arm around you, trying to help you ease your twitches. You're grateful, though you both know there isn’t much either of you can do to stop them. You sigh, putting your earphones back in and blasting some music, this time Hozier.

Derek watches you struggle, sympathy panging through his heart. He hates that you've been cursed with this, and the worst part is they can’t find anything that’s causing it. It’s not like there’s a tumour or growth on your brain Dr Shepherd can operate on, you're just stuck with it.

“Dr Shepherd, good afternoon. Who’s this?” Lindsey, the server behind the food counter, greets. Derek smiles.

“Afternoon Lindsey. This is my kid, Y/N. They're joining me at the hospital today,” he explains, gently tapping you on the shoulder and causing you to take an earphone out. “Y/N, this is Lindsey.”

“Hi,” you greet, before your neck jerks forward yet again, cracking. The two adults give a wince and Lindsey gives you a small smile.

“What would you like, hun?” She asks. You look over, or does so as best you can. You can barely stay still long enough to read the menu. “We have a standard pizza or pepperoni pizza today. We also have some ham, chicken, or cheese sandwiches and salads. Or a few pastries we can heat up if you’d prefer.”

You give her a grateful smile. “Can I—“ you whistle “—have pepperoni please? And a—“ you click “—bottle of water?”

“Sure thing, and you Dr Shepherd?”

You put your earphones back in, trying your hardest to stop twitching. The problem is, the more you try to stop it, the worse it gets. It takes a few minutes for you to get your food, and when you do, Derek carries both trays to a table and sets them down. He takes a seat opposite you, giving a small smile.

“Thanks Dad,” you thank, pulling one earphone out so you can hear the conversation. You pick up the plastic fork and spear a few chips, but before you can eat them, your hand twitches and you throw it on the floor. You sigh but before either you or your dad can make a move to pick it up, someone else does it for you.

“You better be more careful. I don’t want fries on my shoes.” You recognise that voice anywhere, and smile as you look up at Dr Bailey. You let out a small laugh.

“Hi Dr Bailey,” you greet, whistling as your head snaps to the side and back. She smiles at you.

“Heard you were coming and through I’d say hello.”

—•—

“Guys, shut up,” Cristina hisses. “Do you see?”

“See what?” George asks as they quieten down. She nods her head and the table of interns turn around to catch sight of what’s going on. Dr Bailey is talking Dr Shepherd… and you sat with them. You're not dressed in any kind of hospital gown, nor are you wearing scrubs, so who are you? And how are you making Dr Bailey smile?

Meredith watches, catching sigh of your hair, and her eyes widen. She reaches over, slapping George on the arm.

“What?” He asks.

“It’s them,” she replies, “the person from earlier. Y’know, the one who didn’t check in at reception and took the stairs. The one who ignored us!”

George’s eyes widen too, and the two get up and start to walk over, ignoring the protests of Cristina and Izzie as they reach the table. You're struggling to get a sentence out, whistling and clicking as you try to tell Dr Shepherd about something.

“Dr Shepherd!” Meredith calls out, making the conversation halt between you. “Are you with a patient?”

She misses how you cringe. Dr Shepherd frowns, which only deepens more at the crack in your neck as it jerks forward. “Dr Grey, Dr O’Malley, how can I help?”

“W-We saw, erm, this kid walk straight through and up to neurology without checking in. Do you want us to check them in and get a better examination? We were going to come to you for a consult when we saw them anyway, but since you already seem to know them…” George trails off and Dr Shepherd looks between you, the interns, and Dr Bailey.

An awkward silence falls between you, only disturbed by the occasional whistle or click from you. “I can get a wheelchair if it’s easier.”

“No need,” Dr Shepherd cuts in. “They aren’t a patient, their name’s Y/N. They're my kid and they're accompanying me to work today.” The two interns look at each other, mortified. “Now, if you excuse us, we were just having lunch.”

Your hand flexes again, making you throw your fork on the floor (the second one in the space of fifteen minutes) and sigh. You go to pick it up, only for George to beat you to it. “Here.”

“Than—“ you click as your head jerks forward “Thank you.”

“Don’t you two have places to be?” Bailey asks, less than impressed with her two interns in front of her. They both nod and scurry off, back to their table to tell Cristina and Izzie about Dr McDreamy’s kid.

—•—

“I don’t know how they cope with it,” George muses as the group of four interns sit on some beds in the back corridor, waiting to be paged for something.

“Yeah, twitching all the time. God, I’d kill myself if I had them,” Izzie continues. “Would ruin my chances at both medicine and modelling. And a lot of other things, probably.”

“Do you think they wanted to go into medicine? Y’know, before they started twitching? Or have they always had it?” Cristina asks. “Or do they have a tumour?”

“For your information,” a voice cuts in, making all four jump and turn to the source, meeting the likes of Dr Shepherd, “Y/N wants to be a lawyer.” He walks down the corridor to them, everyone’s cheeks turning red a the prospect of being caught gossiping. “The tics developed about eighteen months ago, just before we moved to Seattle. It’s not a tumour, or any kind of swelling; in fact, we have no clue what set it off.”

“Have you done an MRI? CT?” Meredith suggests and Derek nods.

“We ran everything. It all came back clean.” He looks at Cristina. “They did want to be a doctor. When we realised we couldn’t cure them, they were upset for weeks. They—“

“Talking about me?” A voice calls down the corridor and Derek’s face splits into a smile, something that doesn’t go amiss by the others. You whistle, making it to the group and taking a seat next to your dad. You lean on him… until your neck twitches and you almost fall back. Derek’s hand shoots out, supporting you.

“We were just—“ Izzie tries to say before you cut her off, clicking in the process.

“Let me guess.” You whistle. “The doctor que—“ you click “—question and how I live with—“ your neck jerks to the side “—it.”

Your dad gives you a smile. “Ten out of ten for you,” he smiles. You nod.

“Well, I used to want to—“ you click “—be a doctor, until we found out this is incurable.” You whistle. “Pretty soul-crushing.” Your neck jerks back, and if it wasn’t for your dad’s hand, you would’ve hit the wall. “And we’ve learned to adapt to it. There are—“ you click “—days where I’m fine, with only a few, and days—“ you whistle and everyone can feel the frustration radiating off you. Still, no one chooses to finish your sentence, letting you get it out yourself “—like this.”

—•—

For a while, the six make general conversation, until, slowly but surely, you start to drift off. It isn’t until there’s an odd silence that Derek notices, and he has a smile on his face as he looks down at you, asleep on his shoulder.

“They look so… peaceful,” Izzie comments quietly, the others agreeing.

“Yeah. We’ve had a few rough days this week. God knows they need the rest,” Derek mutters. He shifts to look between the four. “Any of you wake them, I’ll make sure you’re banned from the OR for a month.”

Everyone’s eyes widen as they nod in unison; they’re all begging for a chance at more surgery. Carefully, Derek manoeuvres you so your head’s lying in his lap, body stretched out on the hospital bed. He carefully cards his fingers through your hair, detangling it as gently as he can.

The interns’ pagers go off, assigning them jobs and the four rush off, leaving Derek and you to rest. He smiles, getting himself comfortable sitting on the end of the bed, back against the wall.

“Get some rest, buddy. I’ll always be here for you.”

—•—

Hope y'all enjoyed. I know it's pretty different from what I usually write, but this is for my own comfort so...

Sorry not sorry

Taglist

@breadsticks2004 @criminalsmarts @rororo06@ogmilkis@ssebstann@herecomesthewriterwitch @garcias-batcave @spidey-reids-2003 @lovelylaurens@sataninsatin@snarky--starky @mcntsee @averyhotchner @dindjarinsspouse @lovers-in-japan-reign-of-love

[dirtymistressxx]

Seeing Cristina on her doorstep was a surprise, which she knew wasn't like her at all, but she was happy to see her person once again. Not knowing how long she was there for, she was still happy to see her. With Cristina being back, even for a little bit, it will for sure keep her mind off of Derek. And not only that, they had so much to talk about that they couldn't talk about over the phone because of them only having limited time to talk. Due to work and the time zones. Meredith just couldn't wait to show Cristina the newest addition to the family. Of course she knew about her and seen her on face time, but she hadn't met her in person. Not until today. And even though Meredith never told Derek about Ellis, she had told Cristina. Cristina was her person and she can't cannot tell her about the baby. But at the same time, Derek was her husband and she never said a thing to him. With them just finishing dinner, Zola, Bailey and Ellis could have some aunt time with Cristina. She knew Cristina didn't like kids, but there was something about Meredith's kids Cristina liked. Maybe because the kids wasn't actually hers and she didn't have to worry about taking care of them twenty four seven. Which is what some people doesn't get about Cristina. She hates kids, but she loved Meredith's kids. Listening to her person, she let her go after the tight hug she had given her. Knowing Cristina never liked to be toughed, but the only person who was allowed to touch her was Meredith for being so close to one another and being each others person. "No, it's fine. We just finished eating. There is some pizza left if you want some. Still pretty warm!" the blonde replied with a small smile before stepping back to let Cristina inside. A sigh when she heard Derek's name, he still hadn't came back home. Hoping one day he would. "No, he's still in D.C," Meredith says to her. "You're staying here tonight, right? We can do our old times where we have a sleep over."

Starter for @dirtymistressxx

Cristina Yang was all about work. She never wanted kids and she made sure of that. It all fell apart for her when her then husband blamed her for getting rid of their baby. Since then she hasn’t really thought about being with anyone else and just wanted more women to focus on work and not rely on a man. Maybe that is just the way things should have been for her. Meredith, she was like that until he met Derek. Cristina really can’t get onto Meredith because it was different for her and she was happy and Derek, he accepted all of her, and maybe that is what was missing for Cristina and she just got her fix and release and let the guys go. Maybe that is easier for her.

But she got a good opportunity in Switzerland and she needed a change of pace. She wasn’t getting anywhere at Grey+Sloan anymore. As much as she didn’t want to leave Seattle, she had to for her sake. She needed more, and she really needed to build her career. Meredith and her talked a lot throughout the stay there. The time difference was not the best, but they had made it work, as Cristina needs her person and she needed someone to vent to and Cristina got all the latest gossip in the place that was never quiet when it came to people and Cristina had to admit, she was impressed with the news that was going around the place. The place he called home for so long.

But, there was a trip she was planning, and that was going to see Mer, and see the kids. Sure, Cristina didn’t want kids of her own, but she was all about Meredith’s kids and finally meeting her youngest in person. She had seen her and knew they would get along for the way the both of them are. This was a trip she didn’t tell Meredith about because she wanted to be able to surprise her. Hoping she was home. The flight was long and the flight was one she doesn’t take much but this was worth it. Hell, she might even stay, because she was tired of being over there and she was tired of really just being on the screen when meetings happened and when everything else where she was needed. She had a replacement for herself for when that move happens.

As the planes wheels hit the landing strip at the Seattle airport, Cristina was just ready to get off this thing and get away from people who were boring her to tears. She wasn’t prepared for the flight she had taken over because people aren’t her strong suit. They don’t really understand her, and as the plane got to the terminal and then everyone was getting off, Cristina grabbed her suitcase from on top, and she was off the plane in no time and calling a cab to get her and take her to Meredith’s house. Once the cab was there and she was in there she gave them the address and off she went in the Seattle weather and the traffic. It didn’t take too long and she was outside grabbing her bag and tipping the driver as she gets out in hopes she is home and walks up the driveway and gets to the front door and she rings the doorbell, waiting to see if she answered, if not then she will head to the hospital, hoping to avoid everyone until she seen Meredith.

[jazy3]

Thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy: 18X01

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

I was really excited for the Premiere and I have never been so disappointed in my life. It took me a few days to write this review because I’m just so unimpressed. I feel like the only interesting parts of the Season 18 Premiere were the Meredith and Hayes FaceTime call, Levi in that outfit and Jo with that hair, and the interviews. That's it. I mean Teddy and Owen’s two weddings were interesting if you’re a Teddy and Owen shipper, but I never have been so that didn’t really do anything for me.

The pacing of the episode was super slow and it was just altogether boring. There were also just so many inconsistencies. For example, Teddy and Owen originally planned to get married at the park with just Megan, Farouk, Evelyn, Leo, and Allison which doesn’t make sense because prior to their break up they were talking about planning their dream wedding. Now they finally get married and Richard didn’t even know about it? They asked Megan to fly in, but they didn’t tell their friends at the hospital after they just all attended Maggie and Winston’s wedding two weeks earlier?

It’s also not clear if Meredith knows that they got married which is weird because she’s the main character of the show and was an integral part of Owen’s previous two weddings one of which was held at her house. Also, Amelia and Link weren’t there and it’s not clear if they even knew about the wedding which is weird because Meredith, Amelia, and Link were all present when Owen proposed to Teddy at Christmas at Meredith’s house and they are all co-parenting Leo together.

While I appreciated the shift to a lighter tone and that they chose to have this season exist in a post-COVID alternative universe where we can see the actors faces again without the PPE and return to escapism the Premiere didn't pack the punch I was expecting. The premieres are usually super shocking and action packed and this one just wasn't. It was just boring and all of the most interesting stuff happened off camera during the two weeks between the Season 17 Finale and the Season 18 Premiere which is just stupid.

I saw the priest getting hit by one of the cyclists coming a few minutes before it happened based on the promo and the context of the scene and there wasn't a big shocking event like there usually is. The pace of the Premiere really felt off to me. My friend Amy who I watch with every week described it as the pacing you usually associate with a nice stroll through a moonlit garden. Fine for episode two or three or a connecting episode but not the Premiere. I feel like they really misjudged what fans were looking for and I’m hoping that they do the work and course correct now that the Premiere has aired and the completely dismal fan reaction as come out.

One of the few bright spots for me was the introduction of Peter Gallagher as Dr. David Hamilton. I love him as an actor! He's great! His recent roles in Grace and Frankie and Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist were fantastic! I was super excited when I heard he was coming to Grey's. I like Dr. Hamilton so far and I'm interested to see how his relationship with Ellis and Meredith having dreams about her mother following her battle with COVID will play into the story this season. While it would be interesting to see Meredith work in Minnesota temporarily like Cristina did back in Season 9, I don't want her there permanently. Seattle is as much a character in the show as any of the main characters we've come to love, and something would be missing for me if she moved.

To be perfectly honest, it doesn't make much sense to me for Meredith to move to Minnesota permanently when she only knows a few people there. Who would watch her kids? If she's going to move to me, it makes more sense for her to move to Kansas where Alex is or Switzerland where Cristina is. Her kids have already lost their father and so many other caregivers and Meredith has stuck it out in Seattle for so long after everything that's happened that her moving to Minnesota for me would be bonkers.

Also, where were her kids in the Premiere? All of the interviews that came out prior to the Premiere talked about how Meredith’s focus at the beginning of the season would be on her work and her kids, but they were nowhere to be found in the Premiere and it’s not clear whose watching them while Meredith is in Minnesota. The interviews also made it seem like Meredith and Hayes would still be circling each other at the start of the season with quotes about how timing hadn’t been on their side, that they still needed to have an official drink and go out on a date, and that while Meredith wasn’t looking for a relationship one might find her.

That had literally nothing to do with the Premiere we saw whatsoever! The kids were MIA and it turned out that Meredith and Hayes started dating off screen following Maggie and Winston’s wedding and we didn’t get to see ANY of the firsts they talked about so much over the last two seasons. So stupid. The Premiere was a total rip off. I hate that Nick Marsh is back and I’ve never gone from liking a character and an actor to hating them in such a short period of time ever. My God. I’m so pissed off about this. What the hell were they thinking? Why did they think we would want this at all?

Don’t get me wrong, I loved Nick Marsh as a character and Scott Speedman's portrayal of him when he first showed up in Season 14. I was all ready for him to be Meredith's next great love and I was on board. But then he disappeared and was never heard from again and it was reported that Speedman wanted to take a break from TV for a while so I mourned the loss of what could have been and moved on. I sat through the out of character nonsense that was the DeLuca storyline in the belief that eventually that storyline would end, and Meredith would get a real proper love interest that made sense and would be her post-Derek endgame.

So, I was really excited when they introduced Hayes and I have really come to love his character and his budding relationship with Meredith. I feel like I've been waiting forever to finally see them go on a date and I am super pissed off that we didn't get to see it. I would have loved this storyline with Nick if they had introduced it at any previous point in time, but now after they've spent so much time setting up Meredith and Hayes it's just infuriating. I feel immense rage over how they handled Meredith and Hayes and Meredith and Nick’s storylines in the Premiere. I'm so angry. The whole thing just made no sense. That Premiere should never have aired. It never should have gotten past the draft stage. It was that bad. The first date and all of the firsts that come with a new relationship are the most exciting parts of a romantic storyline for me and I love seeing all of that on screen. They hyped Meredith and Hayes’ relationship up so much and even had the two of them talk about 'firsts' and dating after death so for their first date to happen off screen along with Austin's panic attacks and bad reaction to his Dad starting to date again is just such a rip off.

I have stuck with this show through thick and thin and for them to reward that loyalty by having the most interesting parts of that storyline happen off screen while showing a bunch of stuff on screen with other characters that they could have just told us about? So ridiculous. I was so excited for this season and now I'm just angry. I'm hoping that they are building to a big mid-season finale where Meredith is going to return to Seattle and by that time Bailey will have helped Hayes out with Austin and the two of them will finally get together on screen but I'm starting to feel like every time I get invested in one of the Meredith's new love interests, they pull the rug out from under me and I'm getting really fed up.

In other news, I'm not too surprised that Megan and Riggs broke up off screen only because Virgin River, which I love, just got picked up for two more seasons and I imagine Martin Henderson is busy filming that and it looks like Megan is going to be around for a while and they had to explain it somehow. I loved Meredith and Riggs together and I hated how they ended that storyline so I'm not sad about them breaking up off screen.

The Premiere also broke my heart over Amelia and Link’s storyline. It’s just so stupid. It’s drama for drama’s sake that’s all it is and it’s tired. When did marriage become so important to Link? In the span of a few months, he went from being totally fine with not getting married and checking in with Amelia every few weeks on how she felt to convincing himself that Amelia wanted him to propose so he did so at her sister's wedding and used her dead brother's children to do it. Amelia's right the whole thing was super messed up and manipulative and she was right to say no.

Link decided marriage was important to him and that fostering Luna would be totally fine without ever talking to Amelia. Yes, Amelia should have shared her thoughts with him too, but he also should have paid attention. Now their otherwise healthy relationship is over because she doesn't want to participate in an archaic ritual that involves signing a contract and exchanging vows? That's just stupid. I hope they find a way to work it out and get back together because I really like them as a couple.

I like Dr. Michelle Lin the new Head of Plastic of Surgery that Bailey and Richard are looking to hire. I thought for sure after that photo of the other guy made the rounds on social media that he was going to be the new Head of Plastics, but then he said that he doesn't do "free" and I knew he was out. I'm excited for there to be another female surgeon of colour on the show as the gender and racial balance on the show has been more white and male as of late and I think Grey's is at its best when you have a roughly equal number of women and men and as many different races being represented as possible.

I think it makes the storylines more interesting and authentic and personally gives me more characters that I can identify with. This new doctor seems driven, determined, and could have a potentially interesting dynamic with Richard and Bailey. She’s also giving me some Cristina Yang vibes and I’m all for that. I love Cristina. Always have. Always will. That being said, I'm a bit confused as to where they are going with Jo's storyline as I thought for sure the new Head of Plastics would be a guy and her new love interest. But Bailey did say they still needed to hire a new general surgeon and a new neurosurgeon so maybe one of them will be for her?

I can't really say that there was anything I loved about the Premiere which is disappointing. Jo's parenting hair dye mishap was funny, Levi's outfit cracked me up, and I liked that Bailey agreed to help Hayes out, but that's about it. The thing I was most excited for coming into this season was Meredith finally being back on her feet and seeing the romantic storyline between her and Hayes finally come to fruition.

Finding out that she's going to be in Minnesota for the foreseeable future, she and Hayes started dating off screen but had to call it quits because seeing his Dad date someone new caused Austin to have panic attacks, and finding out that Nick Marsh is back? I hated it. I don't understand how the same person who wrote the Season 16 masterpiece “Snowblind” with that amazing snow scene between Meredith and Hayes wrote the Premiere. I just don't understand. I really hope they're not going to do a love triangle with Meredith, Hayes, and Nick because that would just be so stupid.

She's a forty something award-winning surgeon who's a widowed single mother of three. Love triangles made sense when she was young intern, but at this point it's just dumb. I also didn't feel the chemistry this time around between Meredith and Nick like I did the first time. It felt forced and flat. I like Maggie and Winston together, but I didn't find their storyline in the Premiere particularly engaging. I'm glad that Amelia stayed true to herself, but I hate that Link has decided marriage is the only way forward and that they're still fighting.

The only moment that really made me laugh out of the hour was when Jo opened the door and Levi was in that ridiculous outfit. I loved the FaceTime call between Meredith and Hayes, but I hated the context. Honestly, I'm not really excited about any upcoming storyline this season which makes me really sad. I'm usually super positive and hopeful when it comes to this show, but this episode just stomped all over my dreams. All I can hope for now is that they pull a twist and everything I was hoping for happens in the mid-season finale otherwise I don't think I'm going to like this season very much.

Until next time!

[humbleowltrash]

I disappeared for a few months because I've been busy but now, I'm back with a burning question and the need for opinions, maybe Tumblr isn't the best place for this but oh well (Also my close friend is probably sick of hearing about this)

Okay, I'm going to get a little personal so bear with me.

I have a best friend, like most people. She's great, we've known each other for I think almost six years now, we stopped talking a for little bit, but we've reconnected over the past year.

I'm just going to rip the band-aid off, I've developed a not so small crush on her, I know such a classic gay move am I right lol

The thing is I LOVE what we have, and I don't want to ruin it and I bet you're wondering "Oh why haven't you just told her already" Well I sort of have...??? We've broached on the subject, but this was months ago before I realized I liked her in this way, she told me she only sees me as a friend and she also tells everyone else that and before I continue, no I am not pining for a straight girl.

But things have changed recently, she's changed, the way she treats me has changed.

When we stopped talking with each other we were close but not as close as we are now, we would always hug but we never talked about you know such personal subjects, I don't know the best way to put it.

Now we flash forward to the way things are now (dear god this is about to sound really gay) We cuddle, she likes to specifically lay her head in my lap as I hold her, we hold hands when we walk, she lays her head on my shoulder I do the same, this all started after we saw each other again for the first time in a year and a half. (I also want to add I never initiated any of this, it just happened one day.)

People constantly asks us if we're a couple and not just strangers, all of our friends and even some of my family have asked me if her and I are together, I don't know if her family has asked her.

When I did finally realize I do have a crush on her I went to one of the people who has known us both for over 8+ years.

They told me that they had never seen her act this way towards one of her 'best friends' before, that I was special or something.

And then I went to another person who has also known us both for 8+ years who basically said we're like early seasons Meredith and Derek from Grey's Anatomy (In the fact we're the only ones who don't realize that we're in love with the other)

I am 80% certain she only sees us as platonic but at the same time she said "I love you" first, she started using pet names for me (This is a girl who doesn't like to use pet names for her friends unless she's calling you a bitch, which isn't a pet name)

She's also started calling me her wife/partner... and this popped up out of nowhere it just happened one day, and I never expected it

I don't know if she's trying to tell me something but I'm at a loss and I just need to get this off my chest because I think about it

All. The. Time.

I also feel like I should add that she has rejected literally everyone who has asked her out and she says she's tired of being asked out.

And yet again, I don't want to ruin what we have, I like what we have, and I would hate to lose that.

I'd rather have her as a friend than lose her to something like this.

[nellie-elizabeth]

Grey's Anatomy: Everything Has Changed (19x01)

And we're back!

Cons:

Nick is so boring! I still don't care, I wish they'd phased him out between seasons, it would have been so easy to do. You know how Meredith is gonna be less of a prominent focus this season, what with all these new interns? Apparently she's only going to appear in about a third of the season's episodes. If that's the new normal, or if she's leaving for good after this season and the show continues on, they should have just given her a new off-screen boyfriend who we never got to meet, or something. I miss Andrew DeLuca. Heavy heavy sigh. The point being, this episode shows Meredith and Nick rehashing the drama from the season finale months ago, where Nick walked away and went back to Minnesota, and Meredith stayed in Seattle. The degree to which I do not care about this cannot be overstated. I hope we don't spend too much time with Nick.

Teddy and Owen are back and already bickering with each other, so that's... fun, apparently. Turns out Owen conveniently got all criminal charges dropped and he's back, he just has to be supervised for six months? Look, you know I'm not a fan of Owen, and I'd just as soon brush past all his drama and bullshit, but that's so much buildup for so little payoff! Is that really the end of the whole saga of Owen performing unauthorized death with dignity on people? Yeesh, what a waste of time.

Pros:

This show is good at renewing itself again and again; there have been so many characters over the years who got folded in as new leads that I grew to love as much as the original gang, and that's a super rare thing on TV! Bringing in a whole new crop of interns is something we've done before, but never with so much emphasis, I don't think.

And to be honest? I'm on board! Obviously one episode isn't enough to fully get into the nuances of these five new characters, but I was impressed by how much they're already sticking with me. There's the one that Link slept with, there's Griffith whose mother died at this hospital when she was born, there's Harry Shum Jr. as the cocky kid "Blue" who is bound to get his ego knocked down a peg, there's Derek's nephew, quintessential screw-up who Meredith says reminds her of Amelia, another black sheep in the family with a spark of genius...

There's a lot of promise here! We're seeing the beginnings of friendships, of rivalries, dynamics with the attendings. I could see myself getting really attached to these newbies, the same way I found myself really attached to Jo, or any number of other characters who were folded into the show after it had been on the air for a long time. We'll have to see!

But turning to the characters I already know and love... Schmitt! Getting to be chief resident! I'm so proud of this guy, I can't even stand it. The comedy bits about him hating his residency with Jo were great, as was Jo's vindictive anger at him stepping away. Jo was in fine form as comic relief this week in general, honestly, laughing with infectious delight at Link's sleeping-with-an-intern situation.

And Meredith, while I am not a fan of the romance stuff with Nick, I do like seeing her in charge, seeing her do a good job. For years now, they've been tamping down on the super high octane personal drama with Meredith: yes, she still nearly died of COVID and all that, but her internal emotional life has mellowed down quite a lot. I really like that as a way to keep this character around after so many years of the show, and seeing her in a mentorship role, making the speech to the new baby interns, was really neat!

The actual medical issue at hand here is dealing with several brain dead patients who are potential organ donors. One of the interns (Derek's nephew) makes a terrible mistake and communicates with the wrong family, nearly depriving a mother of the chance to say goodbye to her son before he is cut open in order to save another person's life in a triple transplant surgery. This causes no end of strife, but in the end the transplant goes forward and is successful. I liked the intern, Blue, who gave the heartfelt speech about his dead sibling who donated their organs when they died in a crash, and got the mother to agree, before turning around and saying "yeah, I made that all up." Good stuff. I think if I had to pick, he'd be an early favorite for me, among the new intern crowd.

And that's where I'll leave off for now. Much to consider in how our various characters will be developed: the new faces, old faces, Grey Sloan Memorial's second chance as a teaching hospital... chaos awaits, and I'm along for the ride as always!

8/10

[mcdceamy]

Derek might not be able to preform long surgeries anymore, but he was still able to operate. In small bursts. But he spent most of his time in the lecture hall spreading his wisdom on Neurosurgery and impossible cases. He had previously taught about the tumour that was still drawn on his bedroom wall, a piece they had transferred from Meredith’s house to the Candle House. He had taught about Jen Harmon, a case that still broke his heart to this day. About Archer Montgomery and the parasites in his brain. Each impossible case drew more students in and as the weeks went on, his classes were filled to the brim with people sitting in chairs, on the stairs, even standing. It made him feel like he was doing something good still. Something worth doing. He even spoke about his own case. That was his topic today. 

“So, as you can see, these are my current brain scans. They were taken only a week ago and whilst they show vast improvement in the healing process, which I should hope so 6 years on, there is some deterioration in the hippocampus.” A sea of hands shot up. Derek chuckled to himself and leant against his desk, pointing to a student. He listened to their question and shook his head. “You’re correct. I don’t spend as much time in the OR.” He lifted his hand and clicked to the next scan of his brain. “Again, the cerebellum part of my brain, hidden behind the brain stem, was also affected. It took a lot of work to get my dexterity back. I worked with physiotherapists, my family and even Ortho. I had a few hairline fractures in my wrists and Dr Torres worked to help regain as much motion as possible so I could continue with my job.” 

The questions kept coming until Derek’s timer went off. A tool he used to indicate when the hour was up, incase he forgot to check his watch. “Okay, we will pick this up next week. Don’t forget the paper due.” He turned his back, loving the sound of the excited chatter that ran through the room. It shed a good light on his accident. If he could teach people about it then he was much happier. He had assumed that everyone had left the room until he heard a voice. He continued to stack his papers. “Yes?” He commented with a smile, glancing over his shoulder but not picking up a face. “Is there a question you wanted to ask in private?” He knew some of his students were shyer than others. Some hated to speak up during his lectures. 

Closed Starter / @mctwcsty​

[kimhortons]

Nung una ko ‘tong marinig nagandahan agad ako pero hindi ko agad nagets yung meaning niya. Hindi ko kasi mawari kung pang inlove ba siya o pang heartbreak song.

Pero nung recently na nagkakatampuhan kami ni J, may ilang mga bagay na nirerelate ko samin sa mga napapanuod kong series at movies, tulad nung love story nila Cristina at Owen. Eto yung isa sa mga toxic trait ko pagdating sa relasyon, kahit hindi naman talaga nangyayari, feeling ko papunta kami sa ganon dahil lang sa iilang napakaliit na bagay na hindi namin napagkakasunduan.

Dala rin ng trauma from my past relationships, ngayong nasa healthy relationship na ko, sometimes I keep looking for red flags kahit wala naman just to be sure. Huhu. Pero yun nga, tulad ng lagi niyang sinasabi, wala namang perfect na relasyon, hindi naman talaga dapat laging masaya. Lalo pa kung mag asawa na daw kami, magkakaron at magkakaron talaga ng boring moments. Yun yung reality niya. Sobrang opposite kasi namin talaga sa ibang bagay.

Nagbasa basa rin kasi ako online about sa meaning ng kantang ‘to, iba iba yung interpretation pero eto yung nagustuhan ko;

“Marriage isn’t always that “feeling” of love, much of the time it is choosing to love. I think this song is about that; I think this is one of the most romantic songs I’ve ever heard because it is about commitment. It is about sticking with each other even when you don’t feel loved. It’s about remembering that you choose this person. It’s about realizing that you will move past this rough point and you will always choose to love.”

Habang pinakikinggan ko ‘to nasa isip ko lahat ng eksena ng love story nila Cristina at Owen. Ang lungkot at ang toxic. Sobrang affected ko talaga sa role ni Cristina kasi minsan parang ako siya. Haha. Kung hindi lang sila naghiwalay ni Owen. Pero I have faith samin ni Joemar, kasi si Derek at Meredith ang gagayahin namin. Hehe.

“To love each other even when we hate each other.”

[mctwcsty]

♡ + MERDER

(ref. here) - for my fav of all @mcdceamy - McTwcsty & McDceamy ftw.

Who is the most affectionate?

I think they both are, in their own ways. Derek is clearly the romantic one in the couple, but Meredith will show her affection in other ways. She knows what Derek likes and dislikes, what makes him happy, she knows him and she will do things that will make him happy to show her affection. But Derek most definitely is the most demonstrative one. 

Who initiates the handholding?

Derek. Definitely Derek. However, when Derek is having moments of vulnerability, Meredith will reach out his hand to show him support. Derek hates being vulnerable, but he cannot resist Meredith grabbing his hand. That wins him over. And the thing to know about Meredith is that she steps up in times of crisis or need, and somehow I believe that gets Derek through, knowing she is right there to help him through them. He did tell her when he proposed to her you’ve seen worse, you’ve survived worse, and you know we’ll survive too - I believe he thinks of that every time a crisis hits and she reaches for his hand; he knows he’ll be fine so long as she’s by his side. She’s survived the worst things we can think of and more, she is wired for catastrophic situations. 

Who worries more for the other?

Derek would definitely be the one to worry the most about Meredith, but I also think it’s debatable. I think we think that because we see it, but Meredith feels things on the inside. She does not demonstrate nearly as much as Derek does how she feels or what she thinks. I would think that she worries a lot about Derek’s wellbeing, as much as Derek worries about hers. But I think Derek worries more in terms of Meredith’s issues and dark and twisty-ness. Because of all she has been through and how she puts up a front about it, and he just wants to be there and fix her. In a way, I think he wants to fix her because he feels that she has fixed him completely. He was at his lowest, and she breathed life back into him when they met. And that is the biggest gift anyone can give anyone, and I think he wants to make her as happy as she makes him just by being around him. (I sort of took that question to some other place but we all know I love them too much not to do that. Also that gif literally kills me!)

Who is more likely to ask for help?

Tough one because they both have big egos and a hard time asking for help, but I would think Derek might be more inclined to ask for help. Meredith has managed alone her whole life up until she found her people at the hospital. Although Derek has had to step up as the man of the house very early on and had to be the one helping. That’s a really good question. I’ll say Derek though, I feel like he is more open to being helped in every day situations than Meredith, who would - out of habit, do it all alone.

Who is the one always losing the keys?

Clearly Meredith. 

Who leaves little love notes for the other?

I think they are both too much workaholics to write each other notes on papers. That and Meredith is not the romantic type, and I think that no matter how romantic at heart Derek is, he knows that’s not really Meredith’s thing. The only piece of paper they wrote love things to one another was their post-it, and I think that’s the most amazing little love note they could ever write for one another. 

Who can’t sleep unless the other is there?

Meredith. She does not sleep well without him. Like when she said how she has realized that she can live without him, but does not want to. While Derek was away, she was either sleeping with Cristina on Facetime operating, or with the 3D tumor print, or the kids she moved into the room, so not to be alone. After Derek’s death she has learned to sleep without him, but I believe the best sleep she ever got in her life was when she had him around. Even all the way back, when she was snoring so bad Derek would move out to the living room and then sneak back in the room just in time for Meredith to wake up with him there - he knows she cannot sleep without him around. 

Who is more likely to propose to the other?

Derek, obviously.

Who introduced the other to their family first?

It was an unwilling situation on both sides. Addison showing up, and then Ellis showing up. But in terms of introducing, I would surprisingly say Meredith introducing Derek to her father, Thatcher. It came from Susan who insisted on getting them together, and Meredith needed Derek around because she sucks at family and knows he wins people with his charm. She half used him, half really badly needed him by her side to help her survive that dinner. And then obviously when he met Ellis the second time around, when she was lucid. Later on, Nancy showed up, another unplanned encounter. The one that was planned on Derek’s part was his mother coming to town to meet Meredith, and she ended up giving Derek her very own wedding ring - which his dad had given to her, so he could propose to Meredith.

Who is more likely to play with the other’s hair?

Definitely Meredith, she has a thing for Derek’s hair. (I mean who doesn’t.)

Who makes sure the other has meals/stays hydrated?

Meredith. Everyone would think Derek, but he cannot could any better than Meredith can, and everyone remember that one time he got home so late it was almost morning and he almost ate the old cheese from the fridge? Meredith told him not to eat it, she ordered pizza that should arrive in any minute. Turns out pizza was Zola but - she still spared him of a severe stomach bug. Derek eats cereals from the box, he’s a Cristina. No use in a kitchen.

Who is more likely to stand up to anyone for the other?

That is a tricky one. Meredith will stand for her people to anyone. Her people are her family and everything she’s got. And Derek is the love of her life. But I feel like maybe I would say Derek. After all, even when things were so messy and he even was having a hard time handling Meredith’s issues and understanding her, he stood up for her to anyone and defended her, like that one time he stood up for her to Mark and told him to shut up because he had no idea who Meredith was and what she had gone through. He loves her so much that he would do anything for her, literally. Or, of course, when Meredith drowned and he went to Ellis to blame her for leaving Meredith so scarred for life. He most definitely has Meredith’s back.

Who is the most likely to prepare a surprise for the other?

Anyone would say Derek but um hello, who built the candle house? Thank you. #igotmygirlsback

Who makes the other pinky promise not to do certain things?

They definitely do not pinky promise, but they both tell one another not to do things. What comes to mind right away is when Meredith told Derek not to ever cheat on her or she would kill him, and we all know she really meant it. Oh my god but now it just hit me that he went and kissed that fellow - OH MY GOD. I mean, I personally do not consider it cheating. She kissed him, and though he did not pull away fast enough for my liking, I believe he got wrapped up in the moment and he needed that moment to happen for him to realize how much his marriage is important for him, how much he loves his wife and kids, and how he really wants to fight to make it work - and this time around really does want it to work. (My heart goes out to Addison who he led on for far too long, making her think he wanted to save his marriage when he just had to be the good guy that tries - and all the while was thinking about Meredith.)

Who puts a blanket over the other when they fall asleep on the couch?

Clearly Derek does. But honestly, all Meredith needs is his warm embrace and obviously dreamy scent because we all know the man smells like every girl’s dream. Which he is!

That was so much fun! Thanks for sending that in! :)

[arcturusreads]

PLEASE DROP A PT 2 OF PRAYERS FOR THE PLUMBER

Prayers for the Plumber Part Two

You can find part one here

I hope you enjoy this one! And I might just have a part three in mind...

It had been a full day since the Hayes clan had descended upon Meredith house. Thankfully, the kids had gotten along well enough and there hadn’t been any issues with them. Bailey had been basking in the fact that there were more boys in the house that he could talk to.

With Irene and Cormac both at work, Meredith was currently keeping an eye on all five of the kids not that Cormac’s son really needed adult supervision. The two of them were set up in the living room finishing off their homework whilst her own kids were in the back garden playing. Relishing in the calm and quiet, Meredith had sat herself down on the dining table with her paperwork and tablet, fuelled by a large mug of coffee she was sure would see at least three refills before her work was done.

She’d lost herself reading a research paper when someone had cleared their throat. Jumping a little she looked up to see Liam and Austin standing by the table, sheepish looks on both of their faces.

“Sorry, Dr Grey,” Austin murmured.

She shook her head smiling at them, “Don’t worry about it, I should have been paying more attention. And I thought I told you both to call me Meredith.” It was odd having two kids who were living with her call her Dr Grey, she wanted them to feel comfortable around the house. “Is everything okay?

Meredith couldn’t help but be slightly concerned. Cormac had often spoken about how independent his kids now were. They liked doing their own thing, didn’t need anyone to keep an eye on them and were fairly self-sufficient. So, hackles were raised when they had decided to come over to her.

“Uh, yeah. Actually, we were wondering if we could talk to you…” Austin began to trail off, feeling slightly awkward and stupid that he should even ask her.

When Cormac had first brought up the like of Dr Grey at home, the boys were immediately curious. They didn’t take a whole load of interest in Cormac’s colleagues but they knew that he didn’t really speak to a lot of them when they were in Switzerland. He wasn’t particularly close to anyone but Dr Grey was something that he couldn’t seem to stop mentioning. The boys were pretty sure that Cormac didn’t even realise how much he brought her up in conversation.

So, after the second week of hearing about her, Austin and Liam had decided to do some snooping online. Typing in the words Meredith Grey came up with multiple articles on the woman that the boys were pretty sure was the one their Dad didn’t stop going on about. She was successful and obviously busy so Austin felt like an idiot for disturbing her.

“Yeah, sure. Pull up a chair,” she nodded to the two seats on one side of her.

Feeling a little relief wash over them, the boys took a seat, glad that Meredith hadn’t just turned them away.

“Da said that you lost your husband a couple of years ago.” Liam hadn’t been quite sure how to bring this topic up and couldn’t help but feel slightly guilty at the mention of it. He had seen the way his dad got when their mom was mentioned.

A sad smile crossed Meredith face, “Yeah, it’s been around six years now.”

Before Liam could carry on, Austin interrupted. “Sorry, we didn’t mean to bring it up.”

“No, no. It’s okay, did you guys want to ask something?”

The ache of losing Derek had never completely left her. There were days where it hit her like a tsunami wave, where it took every ounce of her strength to get through the day when her kids were the only reason that she was able to survive. Today, that ache wasn’t all-consuming. There were two kids in front of her that had lost their mother, they’d watched her die. So, if they had questions they wanted to ask, or just wanted to talk to her about it then she could be there for them.

“Have you dated someone since then?” Austin looked down at his hands as he asked.

That wasn’t the question that Meredith had been expecting but she still answered. “I have but it took some time. Dating other people… it’s never once meant that I stopped loving Derek. He’s always with me.”

Austin slowly nodded as she spoke. It was the answer that he had wanted to hear. Abigail had told both Liam and Austin to make sure that their dad eventually moved on when the time was right. At the time, they’d agreed, wanting to do anything their mother had wanted them to do. They’d also spoken about to their aunt. Irene had been worried that Cormac would end up spending the rest of his days lonely, especially as the boys got older and went to college. They’d all come to the conclusion that within the next year they were going to get him on a dating app.

The reality of it was different though. Cormac hadn’t been with anyone since Abi had passed away. He hadn’t shown interest in anyone, so their mother’s final wish had been pushed to the back of their mind. Until recently when the boys could tell that the mere mention of a certain General Surgeon was enough to change his demeanour.

They knew, in their heart of hearts, that their dad would never stop loving Abigail. They saw the way he still looked over the old photo albums, a softness taking over his eyes. They heard the way he spoke about her like she was still the breath of fresh air in his life. Hearing it from someone else though, someone who had lost the person they were meant to spend the rest of their life with, gave both of the boys a little more comfort.

“Could I ask you something else?”

“Sure,” Meredith had pushed her work to the side, giving the boys her full attention.

Austin looked out of the kitchen window, glancing at the three kids playing out there. It had only then struck him how young they must have been when their dad had passed away. He wondered how many memories of him were actually solidified in their mind.

“How did you kids take it? I’m sorry if I’m being nosey but…”

“But you want to know and that’s understandable. You aren’t being nosey.” Meredith sighed, thinking back to the first time she had told them. “Zola’s the only one who really remembers Derek. Bailey was too young, and I only found out I was having Ellis after he had passed away. Zola was the one who found it hardest to get her head around, it took a lot of reassuring that no one was ever going to replace her dad. I wouldn’t ever want that but my kids… sometimes I think they’re smarter than me.” She laughed, they were Derek’s kids, alright. “They want me to be happy, Ellis wants me to find my second Prince Charming but it’s not always going to be straightforward. For them or for me.”

“We think dad wants to date!” Liam suddenly blurted out.

His brother quickly jabbed him in the ribs, making him wince. “What? It’s true!”

“Oh,” Meredith was a little shocked. The past couple of months, she had thought there was something going on between them. Neither of them had outwardly mentioned it, of course, but she had honestly thought that there had been something there. Meredith quickly schooled her face into a neutral expression.

“Would that be okay with the two of you? Because I’m sure your dad wouldn’t want to do anything that would make you both uncomfortable.” Meredith couldn’t help it, but half of her mind was on the conversation and the other half was trying to figure out who the hell Cormac was considering dating.

The boys looked at each other. They’d had their own conversations about it when Cormac had been at work, or after one of his long conversations about Meredith. They hadn’t liked the idea at first, hated it if they were honest. But over time they’d realised that this is exactly what their dad needed and what their mom had wanted. Plus, they were pretty sure that if he started to dare someone then that should have less time to yell at them. They smiled; both having come to the same conclusion.

“I think after talking to you about it, we’d be pretty cool with him dating.”

[kaimelia]

can u please write one about the episode like amelia in the house and then in the end with meredith when they ate donuts

unconditional

a/n: hi! thank you for the prompt, I hope you enjoy it!

---------------

"Maybe donuts weren't the best idea right before bed," Link muttered, glancing over at the kid's dance party in the living room. "They're not going down for hours."

"It's okay. I've missed the loud house with kids everywhere; it's comforting to be back. Even if I have a bit of a headache right now." Meredith smiled at him. "Thank you. Both of you, for everything you've done over these past months, I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to make up for it."

"Hey, you would do the same if something happened to Amelia or me."

"You're giving me a lot of credit here," Meredith laughed, wrapping a blanket around her shoulders. "Speaking of him, where is Scout? I haven't seen him in forever."

"He's asleep, but I'm sure he'll be up any minute now. He's teething, so he is not enjoying life right now." Amelia walked into the living room, two mugs of tea in hand, handing one to Meredith.

"Mhm, thank you." The brunette sat down next to her boyfriend, leaning into his side as she brought her mug up to her mouth.

"How do you feel, Mer?"

"Still not a hundred percent. And, I'm not going to have an easy time getting off of this couch, so I'll need help getting up later, but I'm just so glad to be at home." Amelia smiled and laid her head on Link's shoulder, placing her mug down on the table.

"Well, Maggie is currently drowning in wedding planning, so if you're gonna lay in bed, you can help her get some of that done," she raised her eyebrows, watching as her sister sighed heavily. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I just, it's a lot," Meredith laughed, nursing the mug of tea between her hands. Link glanced over at her and stood.

"Alright, kids, why don't we all head up to bed? It's late, and your Mommy needs to relax," he scooped Ellis up into his arms, causing her to giggle.

"Come give Mommy one more hug before bed," Meredith held her arms out wide as the kids came running over, jumping up into her embrace. "I missed you all so much," she whispered, kissing each of their heads and saying goodnight before Link chased them up the stairs, leaving the two women alone. "You're gonna marry that man, right? Because the more I get to know him, the more I feel like I missed out." Amelia blushed, shaking her head in amusement.

"Not right now, but one day. We're just taking things as they come and trying to find our way through this mess. Hopefully, now, we can have some more time to just be a couple and figure things out."

"Wait, are you moving out on me?"

"No, not for a while, at least. We'll stick around until things go back to normal, and then we'll probably look at getting our own place. Because I love it here, but I don't think there's space for Scout to grow up." She glanced over at the stairs as Link came down, clasping his hands together.

"Everyone's in their beds. Not exactly asleep yet, it'll take a little longer for the sugar crash to hit, but they're all upstairs." He resumed his previous position beside Amelia, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. "What're we talking about?"

"Moving out," Amelia whispered, curling into his side. "Someday in the future."

"You better stay close by. Maggie said that her and Winston's place is almost twenty minutes away, and I'm gonna need people closer. I haven't been alone in the longest time."

"You're not alone, Mer. Us moving out someday doesn't mean that we still won't be here for you all the time." Meredith nodded slowly, her lips pursed into a tight smile.

"I hate to ask, but do the kids know about Andrew?"

"No, it happened right after you got put on a ventilator, and we weren't sure they would take it well. And they haven't really asked because no one stops by anymore. They probably just think that he's working. But, if you want to tell them, we'll help," Amelia's voice was soft, and she let out a sigh afterward. "How're you feeling about it?"

"I'm gonna tell you something, but you both have to promise not to admit me to a psych ward after." The couple raised their eyebrows simultaneously, waiting for her to continue. "When I was sick, my brain would send me to a beach. I think it was supposed to be somewhere where I find comfort, but I saw people and talked to them while I was there. Dead people." Amelia sat up straight, and Link dropped his hand to her back, rubbing softly.

"Derek?" Meredith nodded.

"I know it's just some world that my brain made up, but in my world, he's been watching over us, and he knows about Scout." The neurosurgeon smiled sadly, turning to look at her boyfriend for a moment. "Anyway, uh, I saw and talked to a lot of my friends and family who had died, but also some people who are alive, like Bailey and Hayes. And, Andrew was there, and he left with his mother, so I sort of knew that he died before anyone told me, which sounds insane, but it's what happened." She was silent for a time after, sipping her tea slowly.

"You're not still seeing dead people, though, right? Because if you are, we might actually have to call a psychologist," Link muttered, his eyes wide. Amelia hit her hand against his chest.

"No, none yet, at least. I'll let you know if I do, though." Meredith grinned at him before a yawn fell from her mouth. "You'd think that after all the time I spent unconscious and asleep, I wouldn't be tired anymore."

"You were fighting the whole time, Mer, and you're still recovering."

"You gonna need help getting upstairs?" Meredith nodded slowly, watching as Link stood up. "Alright, ready?"

"What are you doing-oh!" She laughed as he lifted her up, holding her bridal style in his arms. "Amelia, I'm stealing your boyfriend!" Amelia grinned, taking the empty mugs and placing them into the sink among the other dirty dishes, turning off the lights, and heading upstairs. She walked down the hall to see Link pulling the comforter over Meredith's body.

"Goodnight, Mer," she poked her head in the doorway, "I'm glad you're back."

"Thank you two for everything. Try and keep the sex noises down," Meredith muttered, turning on her side. Link turned off the lamp as he laughed, whispering goodnight before following Amelia down the hall to their bedroom.

"Do not get any ideas, Atticus Lincoln. We are going to sleep because I spent the whole day chasing those kids around, and I need to crash."

"Fine." He feigned annoyance, quickly changing into his pajamas and joining her in the bed. "Goodnight, Amelia."

"Goodnight."