#Love and mercy (2014)

[newwavesylviaplath]

some pictures of annie clark (st vincent) because i'm excited for the new album and also she's one of the most beautiful women i've seen

[mercyluvsyouuu]

TARS or CASE from interstellar literally just standing there:

Me with so much blood rushing to my face that I might pass out: I think I hauve covid

[wonderfulnonbeliever]

Hearing their voices is just so....

[wiggidywiggidywow]

can’t believe that they cast paul dano to play a young john cusack (who’s playing a younger brian wilson)

[annewithaneofthegreengable]

Kinktober - Day 8

8th — almost getting caught/ public sex, Sebastian Vettel

The previous day I The next day I Kinktober masterlist I Main list

Sebastian was the kind of man who was well-liked by everyone, popular and envied. He was a charmer, a heartthrob, and a flirter until he met you. You were a rarity, a scandalous deviant that could match his perversions, keeping Sebastian’s interest. To him, you are a total goddess who granted all his wishes in life by staying by his side. 

Now that he had won his fourth title, he ended a season that was not his best with Red Bull, and currently, he was looking forward to a fresher start at Ferrari. 

Big band music filled the penthouse, the Ferrari’s Christmas party in full swing. You were hung on the arm of Sebastian Vettel, the new driver for the Italian team, and also your husband. You guys had just got married a few months ago, on the summer break during the 2014 season. 

“Your ass looks great in this dress,” Sebastian spoke in your ear, grabbing the fat of your bottom in his large hand, giving it a good squeeze. 

“All for you, Mr.Vettel,” you grinned, sipping the champagne and grinding back against him, trying to rile Sebastian in the middle of the party. 

“Careful. I’m in a mood tonight, doll. Don’t test me, or you may end up somewhere you don’t want to be,” Sebastian warned, dark eyes burning through your clothes. 

You turned, letting his hand rest on your ass while you looped an arm around his neck. 

“I’d go anywhere for you,” you grinned, tempting Sebastian with a messy, open-mouthed kiss. His tongue slotted with yours, swallowing moans as he pushed into your mouth.

The festive ambiance of the Ferrari Christmas party melted away as you and Sebastian disappeared into your own world. His hand gripped you possessively, his large palm squeezing your curves with an unabashed hunger. Even though you were surrounded by the top brass of the Ferrari team, you felt like you and Sebastian were the only two people in the room. The low hum of chatter, laughter, and music became background noise as the heat between you two intensified.

“Mr. Vettel, huh?” Sebastian murmured with a smirk, the playful light in his eyes not masking the fire burning beneath. “Keep talking like that, and I’ll forget we’re in public.”

His words sent a shiver down your spine, igniting that delicious thrill you always felt when you tempted him. You knew Sebastian had always been the charming flirt, the man everyone wanted a piece of, but with you, it was different. There was an intensity in his gaze, a deep craving only you could satisfy, and you loved pushing him right to the edge.

You brushed your lips against his ear, your breath hot and teasing. “I like when you forget,” you whispered, your voice low, daring him to lose control, right here, right now. The desire to see him unravel in public, the powerful Sebastian Vettel at the mercy of his own need, was intoxicating.

He groaned softly, his grip on your ass tightening, and for a moment, you thought he might drag you out of the party then and there. The idea sent your heart racing. His tongue brushed against yours in that open-mouthed kiss, and it took every ounce of restraint to keep from moaning too loudly. You could feel his restraint slipping, his body pressing closer, radiating heat as his lips devoured yours.

But Sebastian was no fool. He knew how to bide his time, how to savor the build-up before the release. As much as he wanted to take you right there, he’d make you wait. He pulled back just enough to murmur against your lips, “You’re playing a dangerous game, doll.”

You grinned, licking your lips, savoring the taste of him. “Isn’t that why you love me?”

His eyes flared with desire, but there was that glint of control in them too, the kind that told you he wasn’t done teasing. Not yet. “We’ll finish this later,” he promised, his voice husky. “But when we do, you’ll be begging.”

You smiled knowingly, your body thrumming with anticipation. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

After some very close dancing, a couple of nips to your neck that Seb kept giving you, and a not-so-quick kiss in the corner that had your body pressed into the wall and Seb’s hand on your body, you were led to the current position you were in. Sebastian led you out of the party, through hallways, until you found yourselves in the privacy of a room away from everyone. His eyes burned with lust, dark and dangerous, as he closed the door behind him. He didn’t waste a second, his hands were on you again, tugging at the straps of your dress as he growled lowly in your ear.

"You have no idea how much I’ve been holding back," he whispered, his breath hot against your skin, his voice a mixture of promise and threat. You knew whatever restraint he’d shown tonight was about to break.

You leaned into him, a smirk on your lips, teasing him as your own fingers played with the buttons of his shirt. "Then don’t hold back anymore."

A low, almost feral growl rumbles in my chest at your words. In one swift motion, He yank the straps of your dress down, exposing your shoulders and the tantalizing swell of your breasts.

“Mein Gott, this is pure heaven, Schatzi” 

His touch becomes urgent, mapping out your body like a track he’s memorized. He finds the zipper at your back and slowly pulls it down, feeling your breath hitch in anticipation. The dress pools at your feet, leaving you in nothing but a lacey bra and matching thong. Your body melted into him as he kissed his way down your neck, his hands now fully exploring, his fingers slipping beneath the lace of your bra, teasing, making your breath hitch again.

"Seb, someone could still,..."

His mouth was suddenly on yours, cutting off your words, and when he pulled back, his voice was a soft command. "Let them. You’re mine, and I’m going to take my time with you."

Sebastian’s words sent a thrill through you, your heart pounding in your chest. The possessiveness in his voice, the way he spoke like you were the only thing that mattered in that moment, it set your body alight. His hands gripped your hips, pulling you even closer until you were pressed tightly against him, feeling the hardness of his body against yours.

"I’ve wanted this all night," you whispered, your own voice shaky with anticipation. Your hands moved to the waistband of his trousers, unbuttoning them with trembling fingers, eager to feel him, to match the raw desire that was building between you both.

Sebastian’s voice was low, dripping with a mixture of guilt and desire as his hips pressed into yours, the heat between your bodies almost unbearable. His hand slipped down to your thigh, rubbing slow, tantalizing circles into your skin, his touch sending a ripple of anticipation through you. His eyes locked onto yours, filled with intensity, but there was a softness behind them, a recognition of the time he’d been distant.

"I’ve been selfish," he murmured, his breath warm against your ear. "Neglecting my poor missus where she needed me the most."

His words were laced with an apology, but there was a hunger beneath them, a need to make things right in the way only he could. His other hand slid around to your lower back, pulling you closer until there was no space left between you, every inch of him pressing into you. You could feel the heat radiating off him, his body tense with restraint, and yet he moved with a deliberate slowness, savoring the moment.

"...and I should apologize," he added, his voice dark and sultry, the guilt evident, but his actions betraying the lust that burned underneath. His hand on your thigh squeezed gently, teasing, making your breath hitch as the warmth of his touch seeped into your skin.

You could feel the tension building between you, his body pinning you in place as if he was waiting for your permission to continue, his lips hovering dangerously close to yours. You leaned in just enough to brush your lips against his, a silent invitation, and that was all it took.

He flips you around and hands already at your cunt. You can feel his movements as he hinges you at the hips, working your thong down the meat of your thighs. He grabs big handfuls of your ass, kneading you open so he is face-to-face with your dripping pussy. He gives it a light slap before fingering you open for him. 

"This what you've been hidin'? Getting soaked like a fucking slut?" He's knuckle-deep, working his digits in and out of you with little resistance. You're struggling not to moan, knowing how thin these walls are. 

“Gotta be quiet Schatzi. You don’t want to give these Italians a show, do you?” He withdraws his fingers and pushes his pants down, unleashing himself from his boxer briefs. He pushes you back down and pushes himself in. 

He sinks himself to the hilt, burying himself inside you with a low grunt. He pauses, clutching your hips tightly. "This what you wanted, huh?" He pulls out slowly, only to thrust back in hard. He picks up the pace, slamming into you with force. "You better clench that pretty little kitty, or I'll finish on your back instead."

“N-no, don’t pull out, Seb…” You clamp your hand around your mouth to smother your moans, but the slick sounds of your hole fill the room regardless. 

Hands spreading the globes of your ass, he forces you deeper, harder. You've never seen him like this, so desperate for your cum. Your tits shake with the force of his thrusts, another thread coiling up at the base of your stomach. You're both lost in the bliss of it all when there's a knock at the door. It was Britta’s voice.

“Are you okay in there, Y/n?” 

The door handle rattles and your heart jumps at the thought of her coming in. Did Seb lock the door? You rack your brains, unable to think properly. 

Sebastian notices the way your pussy clenches at the thought of someone walking in, seeing you both like this and speeds up. You paw at the hand migrated to your pussy, trying not to moan out loud. Logically, you know if you told him to stop he would, and you should tell him to stop. But something about the stormy look in his eyes, the fervour and energy that he uses to fuck you…. 

“Answer her, Liebe. You don’t want her to come in here and see us like this, right?” He whispers into your ears while keeping up with the pace, pounding into your pussy. 

“Britta, I’m ok. Just need to fix the outfit a little bit then I will come back.” 

“Sure. Also, did Seb with you, ‘cause I can’t find him anywhere.”

“Maybe he has sneaked off somewhere to have a drink with Kimi?”

“Ok, I’ll go get him right now. Do you need anything?”

“I’m all good, Britta. Good luck finding him.”

Sebastian pulls you up by your hair, your back arches and his arm wrapped around your middle, holding you up. “Good girl, you did so well, Liebe and for that, I think you deserve to cum on my cock.” his lips against your ear.

You nod your head, knowing if you speak, you’ll just be rambling incoherently. “Gonna cum for me, aren't you? You’re my good girl.” He says.

“Come on my cock first, Schatz. Wanna make your slick pussy feel so good, smear my dick with your cream.” 

You drop your mouth open and you moan loudly when your orgasm gush out over Seb’s wide cock. He continues thrusting up into you as he feels you crumble on his dick. 

With a clenched jaw and gritted teeth, Sebastian finally saw stars as he came deep inside of you, hitting your insides with his frothy come, pulsing himself in and out of you as he rode out his high, his thighs quivering.

Taglist: @formula1-motogpfan @iamafootballfanmiasanmia @arian-directioner @annimausi @mythicalmaven @lucycowr @hamilton-mount @Chuxk-leclerk @landosgirl @Kikiaaaay @iluvvmeeee @stars4me @starz4me1 @fxrmuladaydreams @Ashleyo1611 @ln-fours @cloud-55 @neo-stay @mysteriesincorporated @nzygftoji @dinodumbass @qxeenjen @lilmacabe @9fi @sya-skies @toriiez @jud-3 @ryl-xoxo @fandomz-queenie @gracie23x @kr1sblog @b-law @F1fan24 @taylorsdoratheafr @missevrythingg @salma @cherrypopsicle @toasterpiastri @uhhvictoria @01rrdbull @aracelys-stuff @horseymchorse3 @lou-ghoul @unknownmystery22 @thisbitxhs-blog @toxicdreamer296 @maxivstappen @si1ver06 @mendes-bae @bestgirlie @mbioooo0000 @depressedgiftedburnout @lieslostinsilence @chaoticversion @kaydesssssssss @maryelizaart @milkyymelanine @bisrae @carlando4 @mystichandspruneshark @sweetwh0re @larastark3107 @fiveyjustin @moonchildlec @bicrazybabe @maximumflaps @sainzwife @i--sa @liviav @nitonan-blog @moodymoony71 @horrible-decision @verstappenluv111 @Meyla123X @bea-stilinksi24 @Hayley125 @imjustme-n @elizamoe133 @bernelflo @evie-likes-stuff @anne1444444 @celtis--vr @rockytheluver @orlafitz1664 @aliceespector @ricciadosredbull @novelant @briannamh07 @oliveswiftly @hotlapshottakes @sinners-98-world @ramenblutte @fallenlunar @little-nando14 @fore45fore @importantduckhumanoidpatrol @eroselless @strabunny @sydneyhlove @jkdaddy01 @multi-fandom5 @f1-hoff @kittylolly4 @reguluscrystals @uhhvictoria @arian-directioner @forza-dolce @dukeofjjune @vimayxo @ilove-tswizzle @peachapat119

[thewhizzyhead]

how genderbending the warriors (2024) is done not for the sole sake of "bad-assery"

okay here we go feminist ramble time for our newest chick on the block: warriors. now i'll be honest, prior to listening to the album, when i first heard that the warriors main girls were originally dudes in the movie and the novel, i thought that the decision for the genderbending, in lmm's perspective, were from the following: 1.) girl power move in like a very basic meaning of the word "bad-ass" 2.) simply a twist on a cult movie about big gang bros loved by the film bros, and 3.) a way to have the schuyler sisters back together gjfkdfldf

but when i read more about warriors and its development and how lmm took inspiration from the gamergate controversies of 2014-2015 aka among the peak of gamerbro misogyny campaigns, that's when i realized that Oh Shit Is Serious - because adapting a story about a group being framed and targeted and harassed for something they are accused of doing without any substantial proof other than a man screaming "THE WARRIORS SHOT CYYYYRUUS" with 21st century misogyny campaigns in mind makes the theme of fighting back a lot more complicated and a lot more resonant, going beyond just marketing a cast you can call "badass"

take the hurricanes' quiet girls, for example. the hurricanes (concept album version) is the only gang that lets the warriors off the hook and with a stern warning: quiet girls don't make it home. here, the hurricanes berate the warriors for not saying shit or attempting to defend themselves from accusations they know well aren't true. THIS MESSAGE IN PARTICULAR is what stays and influences ajax, fox, and swan til the very end of their stories.

literally one song after this does ajax show how easily she resonated with the hurricanes' lesson by finally sticking with her gut and actually choosing to fight back against both the baseball furies AND against the sleazy undercover cop. the latter encounter is one of the instances that really solidifies the recontextualization of the story because in the OG movie, ajax (a dude) WAS the sleazy fuck up harassing a woman in a park - and now with the literal character switch, ajax goes from being just a rebellious gangbro dude bro into someone whose want to fight is warranted. such a want to fight is seen in fox seeing as fox is the first to comment on the quiet girls scene and that, in the concept album, she is the one that instigates the rumble against the police in union square - saying that she is sick of being afraid of them and their 'fuckin powder blue' colors (also notice how she is the only warrior that really does say fuck the cops i think that's cool BUT I'LL TALK ABOUT FOX MORE NEXT TIME)

to a less obvious extent, swan also gets the receiving end of this recurring theme - by the album's finale, the usually violence-averse caution-first interim leader becomes a lot fiercer in protecting her crew. but perhaps among what i consider to be the biggest recontextualized change in the feminist sense is MERCY and her motivations to join the warriors in the first place. according to the wiki, her attraction to swan and the warriors and um seeing the orphans as wimps is what led her to switch sides BUT IN THE CONCEPT ALBUM, mercy's motivation to become a warrior is deepened, rooted in admiration rather than attraction - wanting to be like those women who hold their head up high. and again, we see this in Sick of Runnin' when she takes part in the rumble, finding her bravery within their ranks as they fight back. here, mercy becomes less of a swan tagalong and more of someone that wants what the warriors have: pride.

of course now that i type this out i realize that warriors is not based solely on the feminist rhetoric as with their theme of hope amidst adversity, the story is more intersectional and rooted in community struggle and wanting for more than that. but nonetheless, i genuinely believe that the twt filmbros arguments on why the genders should not have been changed in the first place just for "woke" points is kinda like,,,very shortsighted because not only does the narrative of women narrowly escaping unwarranted accusations actually fucking fit, but the act of learning to fight back amidst all odds - be it that of disbelieving, predatory men or the power of oppressive pigs - stays resonant for women yesterday, today, and the days to come.

ultimately, warriors (2024) is not solely a tale of female badassery - rather, it is a tale of the need for such "female badassery" in the face of past and present realities, which is why it somehow fucking worked.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Actually a pretty fab line up right now

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

NOV 2024 Week 5

Ongoing Series - Thai

Love Sick 2024 (Sun iQIYI) ep 11 of 15 - This is where the teen awkward comes to grab me by the throat. No other Thai BL does this better than Love Sick (except maybe Make it Right). And it’s always a challenge to watch because Phun is so ready to come out and Noh is so not. I love what cramming 3 eps into one (and better side BL couples) did for the tension and pacing in this particular part of this story. The new version really is excellent. I'm chronicling my experience with 2024 as compared to 2014 here. 

Your Sky (Sun iQIYI) ep 2 of 12 - They are so awkward and I love them so much for it. They are terrible at faking romance, yet Fah want’s Rak so bad. This is moving so slowly but that’s part of it’s charm. I'm not frustrated instead I’m getting Oxygen vibes from it. Or perhaps it’s is more just I feel the way I felt when I was first watching Oxygen. Which is to say, I’m totally addicted and I keep re-watching new episodes. 

Spare Me Your Mercy (Thurs iQIYI) ep 1 of 8 - Gah! JJ grew up so pretty. I love these leads. (No one is shocked.) I love the lawful good paired against (we’re not sure yet but possibly) neutral evil. I love our very sus very flirty very gay doctor. A lot happened in this first episode. I’m getting Manner of Death flashbacks but there’s nothing wrong with that. Bring on the chili. 

Incidentally, if you're interested in true crime, here's the IRL version of this story. How a Nuclear Lab Helped Catch a Serial Killer from the Science Vs podcast.

Jack & Joker (Mon IQIYI) ep 10-12 end - I got the go ahead on a safe ending, and thus I watched the last 3 eps all as one. I love how defiantly verse these two were. I also really enjoyed the final episode. I do like a finale that ends on a bang (yes, both kinds). 

Final thoughts

I enjoyed this show a lot. A caper BL starring two of Thailand's best and focusing on class struggles, corruption, and poverty, was always gonna appeal to me. But I’m not sure, ultimately, whether I liked it because it was good in it’s own right, or because YinWar were so good in it. I do wish it had been a little more Leverage and little less chaos, Dr Evils, and "watch War cry." It was a great vehicle for YinWar, and for them to prove that BL can defy its own tropes. To that end, this goes comfortably into the Manner of Death category more than anything else I’ve encountered befor (although slightly less unhinged). It's good, but it loses the plot, the side couples, and it's own mind a couple of times, and YinWar were definitely greater than the sum of its parts. Thus I feel an 8/10 is fair, especially considering I'm unlikely to rewatch.

The Heart Killers (Weds Gaga) ep 2 of 12 - Dunk is illegally pretty in this show. I gotta say I covet his skin care routine. (I love YinWar as much as the next person, but THIS boy should be the spokes-BL-rep for Laneige.)

Manwhile..... FirstKhao might be GMMTV’s best flirters. It’s a pleasure to watch them just inhabit these characters and bounce off each other. I do keep saying “what tf are they doing?!“ with this show. In this instance, it was the dancing in the bowling alley. What is going on? is it meant to be a Pulp Fiction reference?

Also this gd soundtrack is bonkers. I *can’t!* with the 70s orgy porn music and the very bad not quite metal intro music. And then, I remember, brain must be turned off! (That’s really hard for me OK?)

All that said, both the sauna and the jerk-off scenes were much appreciated. It’s nice to see this kind of visceral physical attraction depicted in a BL, we get it so rarely.  

On a side note, I entirely support Thailand’s one country agenda to put all the cute boys in crop tops. Keep it up. And up. And up. 

Fourever You (Thurs YT) ep 9 of 16 - I just don’t get the (new) main couple. They don’t work for me. I like the surprise gamer boys side crumbs though. They are v cute.

Side quest: Genius move anytime Hill comes on screen to basically have Pond make love to the camera. He v good at it. Break down everyone’s fourth wall, baby. Take no prisoners. 

Caged Again (Fri Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - That exchange! “Are you worried about me” (attempted flirtation) vrs Junior’s response “yes I am.” Just utter frankness. It’s very sweet. All in all this show is very sweet. Somewhat incomprehensible world building, but sweet. And the head lift into the lap was next level adorable. Sun’s shy smile is everything. 

Perfect 10 Liners (Sun YT?) ep 5 of 24 - This show is very silly. I love the sides so much I can’t EVEN. But I think it was a big mistake putting Tay into this show. Never let an OG out of the bottle like that. He gets all our attention because we think he’s gonna grant all our wishes. By which I mean, all I could think the whole time he was on screen was WHY IS HE SO FINE?

I’m not joking, I had to watch his scenes 3x because I kept getting distracted and losing the plot. Not that there is much plot to lose. Just Tay’s mouth. I’ll stop now, but seriously tho LOOK AT HIM!!! 

Every You Every Me (Mon Gaga) ep 8 end - Honestly I’d like to see this pair handed something much more meaty. Like a Japanese adaptation? Tokyo in April is… for example. I think they do a great job with something like that.

Conclusion

This was supposed to be a linked series about reincarnated soulmates, but ended up being more like a Y-Destiny grab bag BL with no rebirth through line, just the same acting pair. The leads were excellent. And I must praise this show for representing things I always want in my BL (and rarely get), switch, verse, communication, and safe sex. It’s just that this format with the same actors but no unifying theme (despite the pitch/packaging) made for a disappointing viewing experience. Some of the installments I enjoyed, and the visuals are on point, but I was ultimately let down by style and execution, if not acting. 6/10 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Our Youth AKA Miseinen: Mijukuna Oretachi wa Bukiyo ni Shinkochu (Japan Tues Gaga) ep 4 of 11 - “I won’t fall in love with you” is an easy promise to make if you’ve already fallen. I love this show SO MUCH. “Infect me just a little.” Holy fuck. This BOY. Also, so much for ���not kissing.” This BL is fantastic. I’m so worried about where it’s going. Japan could very much hurt me with this. I didn’t expect to fall in love so hard.

Man, JBL...... when it gets you it really gets you (then it locks you in a basement and gets kinky). We are not safe but we must sit back and suffer enjoy it. I hate this. I love this. What a rush. 

See Your Love (Taiwan Weds Gaga) ep 7 of 13 - I think this show has a “crash into me” trope in every single ep. This ep alone had 3, plus a flash back to the first one. Still, their damn date was so flipping adorbs!!!

Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 10 of ? - I couldn’t be less interested in the stuff with the mean girls. I’m annoyed we spent so much of this episode on them. Fewer bullies more smooches.

Love in the Air: Koi no Yokan (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 5 of 10 - Arashi as the doting bf was cute if sudden, also holy musical montage BLman.  Kai is my favorite character (as was Sky) but I'm still not wild about the blackmail sex start to this relationship. It does seem a little bit more like Kai went after a one night stand, also bit more switchy, which is better...... I guess. But not by much because the chemistry with these two isn't as good as the original.

I remain suspicious.

It's airing but......

Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues ????) 11 of 12 eps - My source hasn’t yet uploaded 11. So…… I wait. 

Secret Love (? YT?) 13-?? of 81 eps - I don't know what's going on either.

Blue Canvas of Youthful Days (China Sun Viki) paused at eps 9-10 of 12 - I got the "stop" on this one as it's gone (no surprise) dark. Being China can not be relied upon to HEA. So I'm on pause until I'm told it's safe. If it ends sad/bad I will dnf. But for now I wait......

Winter Is Not The Death of Summer (Thai Weds YT) ?? eps - Criminals who meet in prison fall in love. I did find it on YouTube, initially unsubbed, then subs happened by which time I got distracted. The first episode seems to be only six minutes long. It is very pulp. But it is intriguing. For now its to the wayside until someone tells me what it whats to be and if it's headed in a safe direction. Occasionally Thai pulps want to be edgy and it's not a good look on them.

Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) 10 eps - I DNF'd at ep 7, I couldn't make it. I'm weak. Life is hard enough right now, this show made it harder. It’s not what I want from my entertainment. Ends tomorrow.

Bad to Bed (Taiwan Sat YT) 10 eps - This is a little too low production value even for me + just very very odd. DNF

In Case You Missed it - GMMTV 2025 Line Up

There have been a ton of hot takes already, including mine.

Here are the titles and links to MDL for you (confirmed full BLs only), these are organized in order of the ones I'm anticipating the most at the top.

Dare You to Death - trailer

Boys in Love - trailer

Memoir of Rati - trailer

My Magic Prophecy - trailer

Me and Thee - trailer

A Dog and A Plane - trailer

Cat for Cash - trailer

That Summer - trailer

My Romance Scammer - trailer

Head 2 Head - trailer

Ticket To Heaven - trailer

Burnout Syndrome - trailer

Melody of Secrets - trailer

Only Friends Dream On - trailer

Love You Teacher - trailer

Next Week Looks Like This:

End of year drops:

12/4 0.5D (Japan ????) 10 eps - Sales ace, Sada, has a secret that only his junior, Daiki, knows. He has pretended to have a gf for years, resulting in him being a virgin. But now Sada has fallen in love. Confused, Sada seeks advice from his junior. I sense another queer Cyrano De Bergerac. Info here.

12/6 Be Moon - Falling for my enemy's son (China ????) movie from HBD Studio - Not much on this one just a trailer, looks intriguing...... if it's from/through Taiwan, but if it's all China, I'm wary.

12/13 ThamePo Heart that Skips a Beat (Fri YT) 12eps - A boy band member and his documentarian start a forbidden relationship. I LOVE Est and am delighted to see him at GMMTV. This was my #1 pick for 2024. I've been waiting for a Blinding Lights style idol romance and this looks like it might be it (Korea and Japan have systemically disappointed me). Bring it, boys.

12/14 & 12/21 The Renovation (Thai mini One31) 2 eps - Writer turns his blossoming romance with holiday resort owner into a novel.

12/29 Sangmin Dinneaw (Thai ????) ??eps - trailer Childhood friends (Thai & Korean) reunite after being apart for ten years. As the boys reconnect, their bond matures and feelings of romance begin to develop, in Thai.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

His smile. (Caged Again)

Look at them!

Look, I don't mean to tell you your business, but THIS? This is peak Thai BL. This is it. This is What They Do Best. Sure they dabble with silly kinky crimey-whiney fashizzal, but Thailand's true BL power is right here, in the sweet awkward school-set first love arghhhhh. Yes I said, school. Bite me. (Love Sick... damn it, 10 years later and it still has me in a choke hold.)

Hey all you idiots who thought (or think) there is ever a green flag in any Mame ever, this character if for you. This boy, THIS ONE. This is what a walking talking ACTING green flag energy actually looks like. You wanna date a dude? Find you one like him. Okay, peaches? sheesh

Meanwhile, this, this is not a green flag. This is GMMTV thinking they are being clever by calling out Thai BLs' worst behavior to make a character who has 'slightly less than worst behavior' look better. Sigh. When meta is used for ill gotten gains.

This, on the other hand is meta being cleverly deployed.

And this is language play. P'ABL's favorite.

So endeth this lesson.

(last week)

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

[ali-gaza]

A Father's Plea for Help: Rebuilding After Loss🆘🆘🆘🆘

I am a father of six, a man who once dreamed only of providing a better future for his children. Those dreams were modest but rooted in love and determination. In 2014, my home was destroyed by Israeli airstrikes, forcing me to rebuild from nothing. Years of sacrifice went into constructing a new home—a sanctuary for my family. But war has no mercy, and the house we rebuilt was destroyed once more, taking with it every hope I had nurtured.

Before the war, I worked tirelessly to open a small shop selling car batteries and parts, borrowing $50,000 to give my children a better life. That shop was meant to be our stability, a lifeline for our family. But in a single moment, it was all reduced to ashes. The shop, my investments, and every dollar I had saved were lost in the bombing.

Now, I live in a cold tent with my children, haunted by their fear-filled eyes as they ask me for warmth and safety I can no longer provide. The weight of the debt crushes me daily, as the collector demands payment I have no means to make.

I once had everything—a home, a livelihood, and dreams for my children. The war took it all. Today, I stand before you as a father with nothing left but a desperate plea: please, help me rebuild what was lost. Your support can give my children the safety and warmth they deserve and help us start anew.💔💔💔💔💔

✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #307 )✅️

[cheriecelestial]

Batboys as Desi Films

𝐃𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐬𝐨𝐧

Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge (1995)

Raj and Simran meet during a trip across Europe and end up getting stranded in the middle of nowhere after they miss their train. Despite their initial clashing, they fall in love. However, Simran’s traditional father has arranged her marriage elsewhere. Raj must win over Simran’s family to marry her, leading to a series of heartfelt moments, comedic misunderstandings, and ultimately, a dramatic climax where love conquers all as the couple fights for their happiness against societal norms.

Dick is so raj coded with his quips and charisma. Their chaotic banter and chemistry is off the charts. Any Indian who hasn’t watched this gets their desi card revoked immediately, I don’t make the rules. This movies fits Dick’s dramatic flair perfectly.

𝐉𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐓𝐨𝐝𝐝

Goliyon ki Raasleela Ram-Leela (2013)

The modern adaptation of William Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet,” set in rural Gujarat, India. It follows the love story of Ram, from the Rajadi clan and Leela, from the Sanera clan, who belong to rival gangster clans engaged in a long-standing feud. Despite the enmity between their families, Ram and Leela fall deeply in love, leading to a tragic and tumultuous journey filled with passion, violence, and sacrifice.

It fits Jason’s love for guns and classics. An absolute visual treat with cinematography and all the songs are absolute bangers.

𝐓𝐢𝐦 𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐤𝐞

Jab We Met (2007)

Aditya, a heartbroken business tycoon, someone who was dwelling in the lowest ebb of his life and was almost on the brink of giving it all up, aimlessly boards a train to escape his depressing life. On his journey he meets Geet, a talkative and vivacious young woman. Geet is on her way to meet her boyfriend, but her plans go awry, and she ends up stranded. Aditya, feeling sorry for her, decides to help her get to her destination safely. Along the way, they encounter various adventures and challenges that bring them closer together. Despite their contrasting personalities, they develop a deep connection. However, when they part ways, Aditya realizes his love for Geet and sets out to find her. In the end, they reunite, realizing they are meant to be together.

Grumpy x sunshine. The OG green flag. Epitome of ‘if he wanted to,he would’. Makes my chatterbox heart happy because of how much I relate to the FL. Favourite comfort movie of all time. ML kinda looks like Cillian Murphy’s scarecrow. “I like you a lot but that is my problem, you don’t need to worry about it.” Their fights and his little sassy comebacks and rants were so cute and fun to watch.

𝐃𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐖𝐚𝐲𝐧𝐞

Jodhaa Akbar (2003)

The Mughal emperor Akbar, seeking to forge political alliances, marries Jodhaa, a Rajput princess. Initially a marriage of convenience, their relationship evolves as they learn to respect and love each other. Jodhaa struggles to adapt to Mughal customs, especially with their cultural and religious differences but her courage and integrity win Akbar's admiration. Despite conspiracies and opposition, including from Akbar's own court, their love prevails. The film explores the transformation of a young ruler, initially groomed for ruthlessness by his mentor Bairam Khan, into a wise and compassionate emperor who values mercy, diplomacy, religious harmony and cultural acceptance. Akbar's realization of the importance of religious tolerance, showcased through his abolition of discriminatory policies and his respect for all faiths.

The arranged marriage tag and the ‘raised as a weapon but softens and shows more compassion out of respect and love for his empress’ tag fits demonhead!Damian so much. The way he said mashallah after he pulled off her veil in the middle of a sword fight >>>>. I love how it captures the essence of India’s rich heritage and diversity. “Why seek paradise ? It is before me now.”

𝐁𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐞 𝐖𝐚𝐲𝐧𝐞

Khoobsurat (2014)

Milli, a free-spirited and eccentric young woman becomes the physiotherapist for a royal family. She brings her lively yet clumsy personality into the conservative royal household, shaking up their structured lives. It clashes with the formal atmosphere of the palace, especially with the stern matriarch, Nirmala Devi. Despite initial resistance, Milli's unconventional methods bring joy and laughter into the lives of the family members, including the brooding prince, Vikram. As Milli navigates the challenges of fitting into the royal household, she also finds herself falling in love with Vikram, leading to a series of comedic and heartwarming moments.

Very cliched (well it is a Disney film) and the second hand embarrassment is unreal but sometimes after a long day all you need is a feel-good cheesy rom-com. Oh to sit next to Fawad Khan in a red convertible while gazing lovingly at him. I like how she emphasises on improving the patient’s mental health to help him heal. Incase you haven’t noticed already, cold brooding™️ x silly goose is my favourite character dynamic.

𝐀/𝐍 - I’ll be honest with y’all, this was to satiate my desire of writing x desi! reader cuz I don’t have enough motivation or time to do it T^T

[sesiondemadrugada]

Love & Mercy (Bill Pohlad, 2014).

[miloticmiku]

I love how PinocchioP uses lyrics about “I want to meet you” or “I want to be with you”, so I made a collection.

eight hundred, April 2009

At the Mercy of Emptiness, November 2010

Lonely UFO, July 2013

What Children Are Made Of, August 2013

Tarinai Kabocha, October 2014

Nice to Meet You, Mr. Earthling, July 2015

1year, September 2015

Nobody Makes Sense, April 2017

Yozurina, April 2018

Mei Mei, July 2018

Whatever Yama Says Goes, August 2018

Zero, March 2019

Non-Breath Oblige, June 2021

[crownmemes]

True Detective Sentences, Vol. 3

(Sentences from True Detective (2014-). Adjust phrasing where needed)

"Oh, I speak crazy. I'm fucking fluent."

"I think at this point, I deserve an explanation."

"My whole brain's a bunch of missing pieces."

"You may not realise this, but I've been pretty damn patient with you already."

"Do you want me to feel threatened?"

"I'll take the hard truth over a nice lie any day."

"You're a mean drunk."

"What if the ending isn't really the ending after all?"

"This is a crime scene! Why don't you pretend like you know what you're doing?"

"The thing about the dead is that some come and visit because they miss you, some come because they tell you something that you need to hear, and some of them just want to take you with them."

"Don't confuse the spirit world with mental health issues."

"How scared do you have to be to run out on the ice without any shoes?"

"Even the dead get bored."

"I knew you didn't stay in town for the lovely weather."

"Do you want to say it first or should I?"

"That's the last time we do that!"

"Yeah, that sticks with you, doesn't it? Not being good enough?"

"It's called quid pro quo. You tell me something, I tell you something."

"Nobody wanted to work with you. Nobody wants to work with you now."

"Does it really look like I survived?"

"She's just young. She's trying to do the right thing."

"Do this and the job is yours."

"I have to do something, but I can't tell you what it is."

"Time is a flat circle and we are all stuck in it."

"It's going to be one of those nights, isn't it?"

"I am not merciful, you understand?"

[bamboozledbird]

IGNITE: A Teen Wolf S1 AU // Chapter 1

Characters: Stiles Stilinski, Sheriff Stilinski, Original Female Character Pairing: eventual Stiles x OFC, but man are we talking slow burn Word Count: 4.9k Warnings: canon typical gore/violence, parental death, descriptions of burning, depictions of depression (apathy, dissociation, 'numb little bug' vibes) Tags: canon has been lovingly scrapped for parts, author loves lesbian poets and it shows, prolific overuse of the em dash, the slowest of burns i fear

Summary: Four years ago, Drea Dickinson's entire life fell apart. Her mom died, her best friend replaced her, and all she could do was watch listlessly while everything else burned down around her. All she wants is to forget and maybe get through her sophomore year without flunking chemistry and completely unraveling at the seams—a seemingly impossible task with the sudden appearance of ghosts from her mother's mysterious past and a hair-raising beast ripping people apart all over town. It would be easier to pretend if she hadn't accidentally entwined her life with the most interrogatory bastard in town. She could have gone her whole life without meeting Stiles Stilinski, and she would've been perfectly fine, but now she's stuck knowing that she's made her bed in the fragile, breakable bones of the boy with all the answers. Chapter Summary: After her annual interrogation with Sheriff Stilinski, Drea meets his son who turns out to be very handy with jumper cables, poetry recitation, and incoherent babbling.

A/N: This is an entirely selfish project. This rewrite has been so incredibly nostalgic, and I may or may not have cried a few times because the TW era was such a special time of my life. To be 17 again, sigh. I wrote a very bad version of this in 2014, and I cannot believe it has been 10 years!!! I'm almost 30! Impossible! The 10-year anniversary is entirely coincidental but still a wonderful, serendipitous happenstance. I'm re-watching the entire series with my little sister, who is coincidentally 17, and good god I just miss the TW, TVD era. Bring back the cheesy teen monster shows that give perpetual fall vibes PLEASE. You can also check me out on ao3 (dork_knight)!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some say the world will end in fire. Some say in ice. From what I’ve tasted of desire I hold with those who favor fire.

Before her mother’s death, Drea would have picked fire. Every single time. 

She never liked the cold; never really had to get used to it growing up in central California—but the crux of her argument, the twisted logic behind it all, was that most burn victims died from suffocation before they felt the flames. A small mercy, really, in the face of unspeakable tragedy. 

In the end, however, statistics were just numbers, her mother didn't die from smoke inhalation, and there was no mercy in burying a parent before you were old enough to have children of your own. Nothing ever ended poetically off the page. Death was just death, and it was always ugly. Someone should really tell that to Robert Frost, Drea mused, biting at a raw hangnail.

The medical examiner said the actual cause of death was pulmonary edema; at least, that was his best guess based on the state of the body. He didn’t say that she felt everything, her skin peeling back into her flesh, her flesh liquefying into fuel, her joints flexing into contorted pleas until the fire incinerated her last nerve ending. He didn’t have to; Drea connected those dots all on her own. She’d been twelve at the time, not an imbecile. 

“I’m sorry to drag you through this all again.”

Drea flitted her eyes away from the flickering lightbulb above Sheriff Stilinski’s head and met his gaze; it was nauseatingly sympathetic. Her responding shrug was a small, little thing—more like a twitch in practice, “Not your fault.” 

Her yearly visits to Sheriff Stilinski’s office were solely her father’s doing, even if no one wanted to admit it to her face. Most mayors would use their political power to get their child out of a police station, not into it, but perhaps Mayor Dickinson stopped being her dad somewhere between the funeral and now. 

“If you could start—”

“From the beginning,” Drea smoothed her thumb in small circles over the armrest of her chair, attentively tracing patterns into the polished wood, “I know.” This was, after all, the fourth anniversary of her first interrogation. She’d become somewhat of an expert at being a useless witness. Drea picked at her uneven cuticles before continuing, “Mom put me to bed around 10:00—which was kind of late for a school night, honestly, but she let me stay up to finish another chapter anyway.” The right corner of her mouth twitched for a brief moment, “Nancy Drew: Password to Larkspur Lane. I told her that forcing someone to go to sleep in the middle of a mystery was specifically forbidden in Geneva Protocol II.” Her mom had been far too indulgent of her lip on most occasions, but that night she didn’t smile at her snarky aside. She let her finish the chapter because she was too tired to argue; Drea could tell. At the time, she saw it as a victory. Now, it kept her up at night, the drooping lines of her mother’s mouth spilling over the pages of whatever book she was trying to read.

Drea bit down on her tongue when a stray splinter snagged against the soft pad of her thumb, “Dad was out of town, so it was just the two of us. Mom always put me to bed when Dad was gone; said it was the only way she could get to sleep. Had to make sure my window was locked.” She paused for a long moment: everything went dark after this. Her mother kissed the top of her head, murmured, ‘Love you,’ turned out the light, and then that was it. Drea woke up in the hospital, and her mom was dead. 

A bead of sweat dripped onto her top lip. The air in the Beacon Hills police station was, without fail, sticky with heat and body odor—and it wasn’t just the oppressive Californian sun. Even in the winter, a person could choke on the stifling warmth. Idly, she wondered if it was a matter of interrogatory tactics or budgetary constraints. 

“And then,” Sheriff Stilinski prompted gently, though they both knew how the story went from here. She had told it to him and a dozen other officials at least a hundred times in the last four years. 

Drea bit down on her thumbnail and winced when her teeth snagged on the tender nail bed, “And then nothing. I opened my eyes, and a nurse said that you found me on the front lawn.” 

“You don’t remember how you got outside?” 

Drea shook her head, staring past the Sheriff's shoulder. Large pieces of dust floated through the air, highlighted by the slivers of light trickling through the blinds. Suddenly, she had a newfound appreciation for the lack of fans in the room. 

Sheriff Stilinski cleared his throat and rubbed his hand over his jaw, “You don’t remember saying it was an angel?”

Blinking slowly, Drea looked at the grim line of the Sheriff’s mouth and gripped her knees tightly, digging her fingers into tawny skin until her wrist cracked, “I should, right? I was twelve. I should remember something—that’s what everyone thinks. That’s what my dad thinks.” Her eyelids fluttered to a tight close, and her voice went so quiet she could barely be heard over the hum of the copier outside the door, “He thinks it was me. That’s why he makes you question me every year.” She pulled the sleeves of her jacket over her fists and gnawed on the soft lining of her cheek, “He thinks you’ll finally figure out how I did it.” 

Drea was scared to open her eyes as the silence stretched between them. They’d danced around the subject before, hinted and twisted around the heart of it, but they’d never truly discussed how it looked from the outside. Sheriff Stilinski had been kind enough to give her a few different excuses over the years: trauma, head injury, oxygen deprivation, plain old grief—but whatever caused her temporary amnesia wasn’t so conveniently explained. In fact, currently, she still had no explanation at all. When she finally peeked through her lashes, clumped together with frustrated tears, Drea couldn’t quite figure out what expression the Sheriff was making. He leaned back in his desk chair and frowned, “I’m sure he doesn’t—”

“He does,” Drea cut him off. Her eyes went flinty, deep brown darkening to something far more ashen with the resolve of her anger. She never had any trouble reading her father’s face; the disgust was thinly-veiled between the flickers of fear. 

Sheriff Stilinksi leaned forward so that she had no choice but to look him in the eyes. They were kind—more tired than usual, but still kind. They always were. That was one thing Drea remembered from that day, waking up in the hospital to Sheriff Stilinski’s kind, watery blue eyes, just before the entire world fell apart. His voice was gentle, but firm, when he finally spoke, “I don’t.” 

Drea nodded numbly and pulled at a fraying string on the hem of her denim skirt until the thread snapped. 

“I mean it, kid. They couldn’t identify the source of the fire. They couldn’t even find an origin point; no twelve-year-old could pull that off.”

Drea chewed on her bottom lip, “Could anyone?”

Sheriff Stilinski’s brow furrowed, and his mouth screwed up into a crooked line, like he was chewing on his words and deciding if he should swallow them or spit them out. “I wish I had all the answers for you. I really do. Not knowing, it’s worse than any truth.”

Drea blinked up at him for a moment, once again taken aback by his raw sincerity, and swallowed hard. He wasn’t the one who was supposed to have the answers; he was the one who was supposed to ask the questions. There was one failure in his muggy office, and it wasn’t the Sheriff. “It’s okay,” she said quietly. “Not your fault.”

He looked like he wanted to argue the point, but whatever he wanted to say was interrupted by the sharp ringing of the phone on his desk. “I have to take this, but if you remember something, or if you just need to talk—”

“My dad spends a small fortune on a psychiatrist and a behavioral therapist for that,” Drea stood up quickly, shouldering her bag. She forced the corners of her mouth into a small smile, tight at the edges like a sheet that had been stretched too thin, “But thank you. For everything.” 

The Sheriff’s gaze darted to a framed photo on his desk. Drea had seen it before, on one of her many visits to his office. It was of a boy—his son, she assumed—he looked like he was around five or six at the time. He was grinning, wide enough to show off his missing incisors, and his fingers and wrist were stained cotton-candy blue from a melting popsicle. She must’ve been that happy once, right? In the beginning, everyone was unencumbered by the weight of imminent mortality. Maybe that’s what Sheriff Stilinski was thinking, too. He looked away from the photo and gave Drea a small smile, “Don’t be a stranger, okay?”

Drea gave a half-hearted wave before wrapping her fingers around the strap of her backpack and walking to the parking lot. 

The sky was grim, a mocking reflection of expression on her face. The spite in her eyes hardened when big, fat raindrops splattered against the apples of her cheeks. For a moment, she just stood there, glaring at the rain and cursing the cosmos for their utterly unamusing sense of humor. A jeep pulled into the parking lot, and the squealing engine startled her back into reality. 

Unfortunately, the search for her car keys was a considerable endeavor. Typical. Drea stacked her textbooks and binders onto the hood of her sedan, haphazardly throwing her jacket on top of the pile to protect her painstakingly penned Kafka essay from the rain. By the time her fingertips brushed against the cool metal of her keys, her hair was damp and curling at the ends. 

The momentary relief was short-lived when she pressed the unlock button five times and the accompanying beep didn’t sound, not even once. For an absurdly long minute, all she could do was rest her forehead against the driver’s side window, breathing heavily until condensation gathered next to her mouth and the drizzle speckled dots onto the sleeves of her thin cotton shirt.

“If you’re trying to charge the battery through osmosis, it’d probably be more effective to smash your head against the hood.”

Drea jumped, and then flinched again when her keys clattered against the ground. She caught a glimpse of the phantom speaker in the side-view mirror; bizarrely, he looked just as surprised as she felt. She turned around, apprehensively—objects may be closer than they appear n’all—and tried to swallow her rapidly rising heart. 

“Sorry,” the boy pulled the hood of his sweatshirt down and had the decency to look contrite, “big mouth.” He rubbed a hand over his chapped lips. “It’s a real problem. It’s so big, actually, that my foot just slides right in there like…all the time,” he gestured animatedly with a flat hand, a quick sliding motion, like a fish through water.

Drea blinked at him, slowly, and bent down to reach for her keys, “Might wanna see someone about that. Sounds unsanitary.”

“Eh, it’s hardly the worst thing I’ve put in my mouth,” he said, eyes widening into horrified round circles the second he stopped talking. A faint flush creeped up his neck to his ears, and Drea’s heart dropped back into her chest. Slashers and ax murderers didn’t blush. Probably. She hadn’t ever met one, but it seemed like sound logic.

“Choking hazard,” Drea hummed, leaning back against her car. Her fingers traced a small dent in the door, the cause long forgotten, “It’s definitely still a choking hazard.”

The boy grinned before fixing his expression into something on the cusp of severity, “I’m about 95.7% sure that anything bigger than a fist is completely mouth-safe.” He held up his fist and nodded sharply, “Make that 98.3% sure.”

“98.3?” Drea’s brow arched.

“Maybe even 98.9.” 

The buzz of a lamp post hummed above their heads as they stared at each other with little smirks until the quiet made Drea sink her teeth into her bottom lip and big-mouth drum his fingers against his forearm. 

“So,” his sneakers squeaked against the slick asphalt as he shifted his weight, “you need a jump?”

Drea pursed her lips and ran her eyes over the front of her car, “I might give osmosis another shot. 30 seconds is hardly a fair trial.”

“Of course,” he hummed, “you gotta be fair.”

“We are in front of a police station.”

“Well,” he scratched his cheek, “it’s not a courthouse.”

“Technicality.” Drea was slightly horrified when she finally noticed that she was smiling. The sensation felt like it had escaped straight out of the uncanny valley and latched onto her face like a parasite in need of a host. It only took two weeks for muscles to atrophy; years must have completely decimated the fibers in her cheeks. “I guess I could use a jump. If your offer was an offer and not a hypothetical.” 

“Smart choice.” The boy rapped his knuckles against the hood of her car and said, “Steel’s probably pretty low on the permeability scale.”

“As opposed to a skull.”

He snorted and then nodded towards the large lump of books and papers covered by her freshly dampened jean jacket, “You should probably move your stuff. Y’know, ‘cause of the very un-permeable battery.”

“There’s that,” Drea sighed and started stuffing her things back into her backpack, shaking it violently until her notebook finally slid past her chemistry textbook, “and flunking English isn’t high on my list of things to do this weekend.”

His gaze flickered back and forth, rapidly cataloging every corner and crevice of her face. Drea tilted her head, brows pinched, and stared back at him with her arms crossed tightly over her chest. His eyes, she noticed, became a peculiar shade of brown in the yellow glow of the setting sun and the fluorescent light of the lamppost. More like honey, she realized, more like honey than irises. Something finally clicked behind them. "You,” he pointed aggressively, “you go to Beacon Hills.”

Drea pushed his finger away from her face with her own, “Safe bet, considering there’s exactly one option for the next 2,000 square miles.”

“You’re kind of a smartass, you know that,” he muttered as he struggled with the trunk of the jeep parked one space to her right until he finally wrenched it open with an almost guttural grunt.

Her lips parted briefly, and then she grinned drolly. It was refreshing, not being treated like some fragile little creature who would buckle in the knees—or possibly set something on fire—at the slightest confrontation. “Kind of?”

“Total.” He nodded decisively before sticking his head and torso into the depths of his trunk. “Completely, entirely, and wholly a smartass.” There were various clanging sounds until he re-emerged with a pair of jumper cables, “Never noticed that in class. You don’t really…say anything.”

Drea bit back the snark poised on the tip of her tongue. When people looked at her, the only thing they saw was the worst thing that had ever happened to her. She was the daughter of the woman who burned to death on Cedar Street; Drea Dickinson’s mom died, and she was there. It seemed like that was all she would ever be in Beacon Hills. 

In the grand scheme of things, it was better to be no one. 

High school had been her chance to slip into social obscurity—more kids, more drama, less discussion of homicide by arson—so she took it, wholeheartedly. She kept to the corners of classrooms, away from extracurriculars, and her mouth resolutely shut. 

“I try to exclusively bring the smart and leave the ass at home,” Drea finally replied.

The boy’s eyes drifted downwards for a moment, and his voice did a funny, squeaky thing when he said, “I should give that a go sometime.”

“10/10 would recommend. No one bugs you—and teachers never throw erasers at your face.”

“So you do remember me,” he grinned a little and rolled up the sleeves of his sweatshirt before unlatching the jeep’s hood and propping it open.

Slanting her head, Drea watched his profile. There were moles scattered across his cheek and neck, and his angular jaw clenched as he struggled with the knotted cords in his willowy fingers. “Vaguely,” she said faintly. It was coming back to her in pieces. That was life after twelve for Drea Dickinson: bits and pieces. Everything was made up of the disquieting moments when she surfaced from the haze and into the present. It should’ve felt like a lungful of air, but it didn’t. It always felt like choking. 

He wiped his grease-smudged hand on his jeans and then extended it towards her, “Stiles.”

She took his hand, despite the strange formality, and shook it—mainly because of the black streaks staining his pants. “Drea.”

Stiles’s brow wrinkled, “I thought it was Andy.”

Drea hadn’t been Andy for what felt like a very long time. Four years, in fact. There were several reasons: her mom called her Andy, and she wanted to become someone else, anybody else—but ultimately the deciding factor was ‘Andy Arson.’ The nickname stuck around far longer than she thought it would. With a last name like Dickinson, Drea really thought the tweenager taunting would go in a different direction, but thirteen-year-olds had a knack for latching onto a person’s deepest-seated insecurities. Middle school, she mused, was a tragedy all on its own. 

“Nope. Just Drea.”

Stiles examined her face, and she saw that flicker in his eyes again: the light of recognition. “Well, Drea’s cool, y’know, in comparison.” His fingers twitched a few times when he connected the clamp to the coordinating battery terminal, and Drea’s eyes widened. She held her breath in her sternum until she registered that he hadn’t been electrocuted. He was just naturally tweaky, she concluded. It was either that, or he had jumped one-too-many engines in the last 24 hours…unless it was hidden option C, and he was actually tweaking. Unlikely, given he was on his way into a building teeming with cops, but far stranger things had happened in Beacon Hills. 

The longer she remained silent the more parts of his body started to move. Stile squeezed and unsqueezed the black clamp in his hand and drummed on the side of her car with his unoccupied fingers, “Like, Andy—no offense—doesn’t exactly strike fear or confidence in the heart. I mean, I wouldn’t trust Officer Andy to save my ass in a shoot-out, and I definitely wouldn’t trust Dr. Andy to cure my unknown, incredibly rare, incurable disease.” 

“No one could cure your incurable disease. That’s quite literally the entire definition of the word.”

“Sure,” Stiles connected the last clamp and glanced at her over his shoulder, almost checking himself in the chin with a large shrug, “but I’d buy that Dr. Drea could.”

Her mouth parted for a second, and then she closed it before she could say something impulsive. “That’s not even how it works; I’d be Dr. Dickinson.” 

Stiles winced, “Brutal.”

“Yeah,” Drea sighed and rubbed her palms over her arms until the goosebumps prickling her biceps receded into her skin.

Stiles looked back at her again, and his mouth wormed its way into a little frown. His head disappeared into his trunk, and after a moment a lumpy maroon mass hurtled towards her face. She caught it before it could smack into her nose, and she clutched at the soft material until she realized that the projectile missile was actually just a sweatshirt. 

Stiles was staring at her when she looked up from her hands. A small, unsure…something squirmed over his face, and she felt a little stupid, just standing there, hoodie limp in her arms. It happened a lot—more than it should after so many years. The invisible quicksand materialized in the strangest, most insignificant moments. Drea blinked, completely brainless, at simple questions, stared aimlessly into her closet until her second alarm startled her into snatching the first shirt her fingers came in contact with—clasped at a stranger’s hoodie until the rainwater pooled on her lashes dripped into her eyes.

Robotically, Drea thrust her arms through the sleeves and tugged it over her head, “Thanks.” The sweet scent of grass clung to the fabric, and there was something earthier underneath it, something like evergreen. She smiled slightly, combing her baby hairs behind her ears, “I almost forgive you for being a dick about my name.”

Stiles’s shoulders unwound as he scoffed, “At least people can say it without seizing.”

Drea looked at him and tilted her head, eyebrows crawling towards the bridge of her nose.

Stiles waved his hand in the air and extrapolated, “My full name is—just trust me. Dick jokes aren’t the worst thing in the world.”

“No,” Drea chewed on her lip, “they aren’t.”

There was a moment in middle school where she was tempted to plant the seed of something incredibly stupid and irresistibly raunchy, something like, ‘Andrea wants ‘Dickinsideher,’ because even that was better than a name with matricide as the punchline. But it didn’t take when Jared Cartwright soft-launched it in PE, so Drea seriously doubted it would ever catch-on from the target herself.

She cleared her throat, “But they are almost as bad as stye jokes.”

“Uh, absolutely not. Eyesores are nowhere near as gross as dick’n nu—” Stiles coughed, throat bobbing as he swallowed, before finishing his sentence with an audible question mark, “…phallic imagery.”

Drea pursed her lips, “Pus beats penis on the ick meter by at least 23 points.”

Stiles’s eyes glimmered in the fading light, “23?”

“Maybe even 24.”

Another bout of silence fell between them, but it wasn’t so restless this time—even after Stiles torpedoed his body through his passenger seat. He fought with his keys for a while until the correct one slid into the ignition. 

The jeep’s engine hummed pleasantly in the quiet as Drea let out a soft sigh, dropping her head back against her car window. The rain had stopped somewhere between trying to unlock her car and now, but she couldn’t quite recall when. The chill wasn’t so bad, she realized, without her foul mood casting a shadow over her head.

Stiles landed back on his feet and leaned against the jeep. Drea could feel his gaze on her again. A tickling sensation trailed down her spine as she fiddled with her keychain. It was old, a gift from her parents on some birthday she couldn’t remember. Paint had chipped off in most places after thoughtlessly throwing her keys every time she came home, but she could still make out the M and Y of the orange ‘Mystery Machine’ logo.

Stiles hummed for a moment and then said, “I’m Nobody. Who are you?”

Drea stared at him and waited for the punchline. It didn’t come. Instead, he shifted from one foot to the other and fumbled over each following syllable. “You know, like…Dickinson,” he waved his hands around, seemingly searching for some sort of cosmic relief. “I thought it would better than a dick joke, but upon some seriously belated reflection, I realize that you’re probably tired of corny assholes qu—”

“How dreary,” Drea interrupted, quietly but loud enough to be heard over the rumbling jeep, “to be Somebody.”

Stiles’s jaw snapped shut; it was his turn to blink at her stupidly. He smiled a little and ran his hand over his buzzed head, “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” She didn’t know what she was agreeing with, only that she wholeheartedly did.

“I forgot that part.”

Drea clucked her tongue against the roof of her mouth and shook her head, “It’s the best line.”

“It might have something to do with my species landing somewhere between microscopic bacteria and radioactive cockroach on the high-school social food chain,” Stiles said dryly. His face remained impassive, like he was talking about something benign as the weather. 

Drea tilted her head a little and a timid smile unfurled over her face in time with the swell of familiarity blooming beneath her ribcage, “Then there’s a pair of us.”

His cheeks dimpled when he smiled back at her, “I do remember that one.”

“Well,” Drea slid her hands into her back pockets and shrugged, “it is the best part.”

Stiles squinted at her and then laughed.

Drea felt a bit like laughing too, so she swallowed thickly before she could choke on the impulse. She took a step backwards and curled her fingers around her keys in her back pocket, “I should probably try start my car…y’know, before you start reciting, ‘I Felt a Funeral, in My Brain.’”

He nodded, taking a step towards his jeep, “Solid plan. ‘Because I could not stop for Death’ would be next.”

Drea slid into her car and stared at the steering wheel, wrapping her fingers around 10 and 2 and silently calling upon every deity she’d ever heard of to end her suffering. Stiles seemed nice enough, but she seriously doubted her smalltalk capabilities were up-to ‘ride home’ standards. Perhaps, she should revisit her resounding dedication to atheism, she thought, as the engine sputtered in protest a few times and then came back to life. 

Stiles flashed two thumbs up through the window. The smile on his face was positively goofy, but his dismount from the jeep was somehow even goofier. He stumbled over his large feet a few times before regaining stability. Drea bit back a smile when he shot her another thumbs up, this time through the dash as he removed the jumper cables from her battery.

He wiped his hands off on his jeans again; at this point, she was convinced that they were beyond saving, but Stiles didn’t seem concerned. He tapped against her window before stepping around the open door, “You should probably let it run for a while. Take the scenic route home; enjoy all the Beacon Hills hotspots open past 8:00 pm on a weeknight. I personally recommend the Rite Aid or Walmart.”

Drea snorted, “Maybe I’ll swing by the Preserve. I hear the woods are especially beautiful in the foreboding darkness.”

“Don’t.” Serious was an odd look on Stiles’s face. Drea decided that she much preferred the goofy grin. “Don’t go anywhere near the Preserve. It’s officially cordoned off—totally locked down, quarantine-zone-central. Something about flesh-eating, parasitic plant life.”

“As completely real and unobtrusive as that sounds,” Drea drawled, “don’t worry about it. Literally every single person in town knows about the body they found in the woods.” It was bound to happen, small town and all—and ‘woman dies in deadly animal attack’ was the most interesting thing that had happened in Beacon Hills since the intersection got a Target two years ago. “I’ve seen every installment of Friday the 13th and The Blair Witch Project. If I’m going to be murdered, I refuse to also be humiliated by a cliché C.O.D.” 

The manic expression on his face softened to a relieved smile and then again to a little smirk, “So what’s a certified fresh murder, then? Not that I doubt the depths of human depravity, but I think society killed off originality a few centuries ago.”

Drea thought back to a house fire with no origin, accelerant, or discernible cause. Apparently, not. “You know what they say,” she sighed, “life finds a way.”

Stiles tilted his head, “And death.”

“And death,” Drea agreed, staring at a small chip in her windshield. The cracks had just begun to spiderweb out from the pit. 

Stiles looked like he wanted to say something, and he looked so much like the Sheriff with his face twisted around thoughtful contemplation that she couldn’t believe it had taken her this long to make the connection. The boy in the photo had grown up. How unfortunate for him. Stiles swallowed whatever it was that was lingering on his tongue and shut Drea’s door. He leaned his elbow against the window frame and cocked his hand in a stiff little wave, “See ya in English, Dickinson—both of you.”

“Awful,” Drea’s nose scrunched as she buckled her seatbelt, “terrible, dreadful. A solid 25 on the ick meter.”

Stiles grinned and held up his hands, “I’ll think of something better by Monday, promise.” 

Drea put her car in drive once Stiles was safely a few feet from the wheels and flicked her damp hair over her shoulder, “I dwell in Possibility.” What a scary place to be, she thought as she watched Stiles disappear in her rearview mirror. Possibility. Hope. Life. She was chronically good at surviving; cockroached her way out of every horrible thing life squashed her with. Lately, all she could do was cling to her heartbeat and the warmth of her skin, until she was barely more than roadkill. A walking carcass was a far cry from living, but Death would not stop for her, so she stopped looking for him. She kept treading water, took her pills, stopped existing—she was a lot like Schrödinger’s cat that way: too stubborn to live, too stubborn to die. She didn’t know what to do if someone unsealed the box and forced her to choose. That was the trouble with possibility; it required far too much uncertainty.

[dietmountaindewbae]

Can you do Stockholm syndrome with alex please? (any Alex era) 🙈

xvi. velvet crowbar

alex turner x reader

requested by anonymous

word count: 10k

summary: Would you rather be missed or missing? On a dark night, you walked lonely and cold, contemplating your life, and you thought it was like a flower slowly rotting dry, and dead, no one could stop it, until (2014) Alex saves you in the most unusual way you fall in love with a dying man.

warnings: ch*king, sp*tting, age gap, vi*lence, degrad*tion, bru*ses, bl*od, m*rder, kn*fe play, g*ns, dr*gs, ga*ging, mentions of sub*stance abuse and su*cide.

song recommendation: velvet crowbar by lizzy grant

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*⋆ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*⋆ 

Silent, and still was the night, a lonely and dark walk to get to your house awaited you, you didn't mind the silence, it's been a while since you heard that in this city, muffled were the sounds of the cars that drove down the high way, you wrapped your arms together, hoping that any drunk man would drive down the sidewalk and act as if they own you but it wouldn't be the first time some prick chased you down, inviting you in, you prayed nothing like that happened, you thought it was way worse than your father finding out you sneaked out, or the other times you did.

You spotted a dark and relucent limousine parked on the same sketchy alley you had to walk thru to get to your house sooner, you thought it was an odd place to be, maybe someone abandoned it there, or it simply belonged to the chauffeur, either way, you speeded your way down the alley, then out of nowhere you felt a wave of shivers enveloping your whole body when you heard a loud tut, you turned around a strange magnetism to the car took over you, it was silent before you could take another step, then you heard muffled shouting, it horrified you, your mind told you to walk but you stayed put, scared to death and frozen.

You heard a man shouting again, more reluctant this time, you heard his whipping, and the gasping for air, you felt his anger, and how furious he felt, you ran back to the car, and knocked on the window, but he was silent, and the man murmured something you didn't understand.

The windows of the car slowly unraveled the man, his forehead bleeding each time he screamed, his eyes blood red shoot, his cheeks burned, drenched in sweat and blood all over his suit, he was frightened for himself, for his life, his eyes turned side to side, he kept yelling, you didn't know what to do, you knew you had to help him, suddenly he quiets down when he saw someone walking from the shadows, quickly you tried to unlock the door, and he dropped to the floor, you dragged him across the floor, he yelled in pain, you saw he had a knife stuck on his leg pouring more blood on the street, the shadow man ran your way while the other man kept yelling "run! run!" to you, finally the shadows caught up to you as you ran away as far as possible, he wrapped his arms around you, covering your mouth, he backed you up against the wall.

"If you scream, I swear that I will stick this down your throat..." A knife pressed against your neck, "Understood?" His eyes, they were on fire.

"I do..." You managed to say, he dropped you back to the ground putting the knife inside his pocket and taking out a gun from the inside of his coat, his arm wrapped around your shoulders while he points it against your waist

"If you try to run, scream... you understand what's gunna happen to you, right darlin'?" You nodded, "Good, good..." He whispered, "Now move your pretty legs" He dragged you back to the alley, the man laying on the floor unconscious, you prayed over and over it didn't turn out to be you, the door swung open, and he pushed your body inside the car and shut the door, you took a last glance at those vibrant green eyes of the man, they cried for mercy.

He gave out his final yells, he was like an animal, and the shadows were the hunters, you heard the last bang of his gun, silence. The shadows dragged his body to the trunk, and he shut it harshly, he went to the driver's seat and made a call, "It's done... this is the last warnin' I'm taking it all," He said, he glanced at you thru the rare view, you shut your eyes tightly, not being able to face the reality that you might not get out, that you might not escape he could kill you, you felt tears running down your cheeks and your nose swelling up, you were panting, needy for air, your heart was racing for the commotion, your eyes began to close, your body giving out on the blood-stained leather seats.

Your eyes slowly opened up, the lights were so shiny you couldn't see properly where you were, you began to feel unsteady looking for a way to escape, you were in somebody's bedroom thankfully you still had the same clothes as yesterday but there was blood splashed all over your jeans and your top, you jumped out of the bed, quietly looking for a widow or door to scape, you glanced to your right, they had a balcony in the room, you shut the door and locked it, putting a small shelf to be safer, and you opened the balcony, putting your legs over the railing.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," You froze, and you glanced at him, it was the same man from yesterday, you vividly remembered his thick British accent, "You obviously don't remember what I told you yesterday, right darlin'?" You jumped back inside, shutting the balcony door, hiding inside the closet, he unlocked your door and kept pushing until he managed to open the door, you saw everything thru the crack of the closet's doors, "We're gonna play hide and seek, aren't we?" He announced, "I'll count to three, and if by then you're not out, well... I'll guess you'll find out yourself," You were horrified by this man, how could he kill you, you didn't do anything.

"1..." He said, you felt him walk closer to the closet, he knew exactly where you were, "2..." you shut your eyes tightly, but he swung open the doors, "Please come out of there," He asked not so politely, you did what he said, "Lay down on the bed" You didn't move but he walked towards you, his eyes staring right back at yours, they were angry, demanding, but hurt in some way, you didn't realize when the back of your knees touched the bed, "That wasn't so hard" He pulled a chair, and grabbed a bowl with water, and a fresh cloth, there was another one, stained with blood, "That's not yours," He cleared out, "You passed out on the seats," He dipped the edge of the cloth inside the water, he cleaned your face, starting with your cheeks, you finally saw his whole face, his big nose, chapped thin lips and his almond brown eyes, his milk chocolate hair fixed up in a messy 50's quiff, the dark circles, his cheekbones, and stubbed beard, his jawline, sharp as a knife, but not as sharp as that look he had, you felt little, you couldn't look at them, after everything, you wondered why wasn't he hiding his face.

"Where are we?" You asked him in the quietest way.

"Somewhere really safe, outside the city, it's like my vacation house," You shifted on the bed, this time it was serious, you were very far from home, and you didn't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing to be away and with a stranger that could kill you if he pleases to do so, "I'm not gonna kill you... if you collaborate" He said your full name, "I know who you are... but mostly I know everything that you did, shoplifting, skipping class, sneaking out, even the drugs you have bought, the vodka bottles you've stolen along with cigarettes, and other things, very cute girlie things to do, regardless of that you're a decent student, I'm not surprised any colleges want to accept you, but you faked your birth certificate, didn't you? and your name, everything... you're smart," He said with a smudge smirk on his face, "One sister, a small family circle but I'm sure they don't care enough about you, your sister, Ivy league thanks to a scholarship, of course, your father wouldn't be able to pay that, and here it says you turned 19 the other day, happy birthday" He chuckled.

"Why didn't you kill me?" You said, but he was silent.

"I need you for something," He said, "Then I will let you go" He sounded legitimate when he said that.

"Why won't you think I won't go to the police?" He leaned in closer.

"Because if you don't, and you won't, I'll clean your records, I'll put you inside the best college you could ever be in, and I'll get you and your sister out of that shit hole that you're in, I'll give you a better life, and a fresh beginning" Your sister took care of you like no one else, this was your chance to get you and your sister out, to get her a better place to live and to work, the stakes were high but you had nothing else to lose.

"What do I need to do?" You said he composed himself, throwing the towel to his shoulder.

"That man you saw yesterday, he did something really fucked up to me, but the people he worked for, that's the real target, tomorrow there's gonna be a party at one of their underground clubs, you and I are going there, put a show for them, and I'll take what I need, easy as that" He scrubbed the blood out of your neck, "I would've hired someone else to go as my accompaniment but then you appeared so... if you want to leave, then you'll do as I say..." He grabbed a hold of your neck, "Got it?" You said yes with your head, "I'll get you something nice, doll you up, and we'll go"

You began to think the worse out of this situation, what if another man try to approach you, and take advantage, what if you even had to kill someone, "I... won't have to-"

"The only one who's gonna get their hands dirty is that man, not you or me... just that man" He assured you, he picked up his things and headed out.

"Where are you going?" You asked, he glanced at you and closed the door, you were confused, scared, and worried about your sister, what if someone tried to do something to her or even hurt her? you began to feel guilty about all of the things you've done, you felt like everyone you've ever loved could be in danger, and if anything happened to them... it would be your fault, maybe you were exaggerating but there still was a small possibility, did anyone even cared to look for you in the first place?

"I got you clothes" He referred to you by your name, "There's a bathroom right down the hall," You waited for him to leave, and you followed his orders, if you wanted to get out, that's the only option you had, you grabbed your clothes, and headed to the bathroom, you heard him in the other room talking.

"No, that scumbag is dirty!... shut the fuck up and listen to me! He will pay for the shit he has done to me, Matt, and my mother" You heard his voice crack, when he said the name of his mother, "Listen I got this under control Miles, the only thing you have to do is nothing! He won't get away with this... and he will suffer just like he did to me, but this will be worse... at least for him, this will be different, way different than the last times, of course, it isn't my way but at least this is better," He chuckled.

"Listen, Alex-" He hung up, Alex was his name, and he shut the door closed when he saw you staring back, you ran to the bathroom.

You locked the door and stepped inside the shower, little blood running down your body, as you washed your body with soap, you sigh, too tired, with bruised arms, tired neck, and legs, you sat on the shower letting the water wash your body, like rain dots, and you cried like a baby, runny mascara tears on your cheeks, you heard a crack at the door, and squeaked close again. You put your clothes on, they had a very strong scent to them, he gave you his navy blue sweater that fell off your shoulder and a pair of sweatpants that dropped your hips, you felt warm, almost like a big hug.

Two knocks at your door made you tremble once inside your room, "It's me" He said, you backed up against a corner, "I got you some books and food?" He put the food on the vanity along with your books.

"I- mean, yeah I will... after you leave"

He sighed your name, "Look, darlin'... " He sat down on the floor, grabbing your wrist and sitting next to him, "I won't do anything to you if you don't want to eat, I understand, I'm not a fucking psychopath, I'm sure you heard me name, right?"

"Alex, yeah?" You asked and he nodded with his head.

"The job begins tomorrow, so you'll be out sooner than you think" He lightly smiled at you.

"What makes you think I'm the right person to help you?" He could've asked another girl, with more experience, way more professional than you just like he said, so why were you still there?

"'Cause none of those arseholes knows you or has seen your face, plus you weren't that bad at shoplifting, this is sort of like that" He took out his phone, "And you looked cute doing it" He showed you the video when the cameras caught you putting a top inside your purse, "And look at those" He swiped to the next pictures.

You gasped exhaling a laugh when you saw your mug shots from that day, "Gosh, where did you get these?!" You couldn't stop laughing, you wore a wig, your makeup was all trashed, and your shirt broke, good times.

"No one will guess you were the one who was helping me, your face irradiates innocence, and you're too pure to be considered a threat," The moment you looked back at him, your eyes looked down to the floor, he admitted you were cute and pure, you felt something strange when you felt his shoulder against yours.

"Do you think I can have a gun?" He chuckled loudly.

"Clearly the answer is no" You looked down at the floor.

"But what if I need it? To protect myself, just in case anything goes wrong, you know?"

He put his hand on your knee, turning your face to look at his eyes, "I assure you everything will be ok, I'm gonna be with you all the time, alright?" His voice was so tender, it was hypnotizing, you found yourself staring at him for more than you should, and nodded, "Your sister asked where you were, and someone called Lily, I told your sister you were fine, you were staying at a friend's house, and I told Lily you were at home feeling sick" At least they did care about you.

"Thanks," You said to him, "And... did my sister tell you anything about my dad? Has he asked for me?" He slowly moved his head from side to side saying no, you felt as though you shouldn't have asked, but you thought there was a small chance he could've asked for you, but as always, what else could you expect?

"Don't feel stupid for askin'" He tells you, "I would've asked as well, I know my mum would've been worried and probably going all over the city, looking for me" He smiled but it was crooked.

"Yeah, my mom would've too," You said.

"I'm sorry," He said, "I shouldn't have said anything about-"

"It's ok, don't worry," You assured him.

"My mum," He said, "She's in a ward, one night, I woke up at my house alone, I was just a kid even though I wasn't tall enough I was smart enough to make meself breakfast, I spend three days alone until me dad came back, he said my mum had gotten sick and that she would be hospitalized, but she wasn't her, they said she was having a broad of psychosis and she was admitted to the ward," You listen to every word he said, "I knew she was fine, she was still herself but people simply wouldn't believe her, me dad did something to her, he tried to make me become him, shaped me into his own mold but I never listened, that's why I ran away at 17"

"Your dad is-"

"He's a very powerful man here since he moved to the States, he has lied, stolen, cheated, and hustled every last person that has helped with his business, the empire hotel, that franchise is his, they don't know what goes down in his secret clubs,"

"But I didn't know they had a-"

"Exactly," He said, "Clandestine, no one knows, only his star investors know about the girls, drugs, lies, money, I'm not a saint but that money doesn't belong to him, so I'm gonna take everything that once he loved, just like he did to me, this is more than just me, it's my mum... I recently found my mum's ward in Belgium, which took me more than it should, everything about her had changed, but her eyes told me what I already knew, she confirmed that he was the one who put her there, but she didn't say anything, me dad paid everyone there to keep eyes on her and keep her medicated... she can't speak or sometimes even walk" He was in it too deep.

"What's in for you?"

"I'm gonna take his business, his money, his life, and expose him" All of what he had confessed to you, you could feel his pain, his anger, his sadness, and no one that looked out for him or even cared, you still didn't know what happened to the guy he mentioned when he was on the phone, but you bet he was one of his father's victims.

"That's fucked up, I'm sorry to hear that," You tried to comfort him, caressing his shoulder.

"Everybody has a sad story," He turned his face to you, "Yours?"

You wrapped your arms around your legs, "My mom too, had complications after giving birth to me but the biggest was the depression, she never got better, one day my dad found her on the patio, passed out, she overdosed, but my dad said it was me and my sister's fault, my sister's because she had to take care of her, watch that she took the right doses every day, and me because, if they didn't have me then she would've never died," He covered his mouth with his fingers, "I think we both have a lot going on, right?" You wiped your nose.

"The only thing that made me wake up each morning was the hope that maybe one day I'd finally be free, we can help each other out, I can get you out" He assured you, cupping your cheeks, "I will get you out"

You held back your tears but your eyes betrayed you, "Why would you do that? I'm a horrible person, I lie, I cheat, I steal, why-"

"Your whole life, you were blamed for something you never did, you were painted like that, shaped like that, but you never had fit into that mold just like me, I know why you do the things you do, don't think you're not worthy of my help or anybody's help, I know you want to get out, so I'll help you"

Your vision was blurry, "It's too much" You crossed your arms and legs together, as you cried in silence, he opened your hand, caressing your knuckles, he was careful and delicate, he knew you were cracking, so fragile, "Take me to bed" He wrapped his arm around your shoulders, slowly wrapping your body, holding you in his big arms, "Can you... stay with me?"

"I thought you didn't want me to stay" You hold on to him like a puppy.

"Please, stay?" You asked him once more, he laid you down on the bed while he sat on the edge of the bed, his hand on your knee, "Hold me... can you hold me?" You whispered, it was clear enough for him to listen, he reached you with his arm, laying down in bed next to you, holding you while you let your tears stain the soft pillows, his unusual warmth made you feel safe, and protected, but could you trust that?

The next morning, you woke up and felt no one, he had vanished, you scanned around your room for him, and you stepped outside, you felt scared to go out but you did anyway, you wanted to know why he had left, you wanted to see him, you heard three voices downstairs, you peeked thru the stairs.

"Karina, you got that article ready when I tell you, right love?" You hear the woman giggle.

"Of course, you can count on it" You saw him hug her and lightly peck her cheek.

"Miles, you've got all the evidence ready for court?" He grabbed a yellow envelope, and suddenly he spotted you listening, you quietly ran back to your room, "Excuse me for a moment" He said, chasing you to your room, he swung open the door and shut it, he pulled you up by the arm, and held you in place by the neck, while his other hand gathered your hair up, "Don't ever do that again, you stay in this room, and you won't go out unless I tell you so, got it?" You saw his eyes turn darker, covered in anger, his jaw clenched, and his lips in a straight line, you must've felt terrified of him, he could've easily choked you to death but something was holding him back.

"I-" He was chocking you too hard, you couldn't breathe, "I- You're hurting me, please" He loosened his grip, and dropped his hand from your hair, "I understand," You said, "I won't do it again" He left your room without saying another word to you slamming the door shut, your body dropped to the sheets, you cuddled up to a ball, you felt guilty, just as if you brought this onto yourself, you deserved that, you shouldn't have peeked, it wasn't your place, the less you knew the better, you wouldn't get involved, right? There were so many questions, you truly didn't want to know the answer to, like why does your heart stop whenever you looked at him, or when he entered your room? Why did you like it when he was angry and got violent? The strangling, the loud and animalistic exhales, the sharpness of his jaw, and the violence in his eyes, why do you feel tingles? why do you feel something about him?

You heard the nob of your door twist open, he stayed in the frame for a moment, he thought you were sleeping, he liked the way his navy blue sweater looked on you, it made your brown hair look darker, and he loved it, he liked it fitted you almost like a dress, all cuddled up into a tiny ball, with his hand on his hip he walked in, laid your dress for the night on the bed, he noticed the purple bruises on your neck, the redness of your lips, and your eyes a little puffy, suddenly his mind send him over to the feeling that broke his heart the most, feeling as though he had hurt you not only physically but emotionally as well, he was cold, he could be such an asshole, but when he saw you lying on your side, with your hands between your thighs, he could've crumbled completely if you cried.

Your eyes opened, and you felt he was looking at you and for whatever reason you stared at him back for a moment, something about his eyes, behind all of his coldness he finally had let you see right thru him, and the feeling of nakedness had taken over the two, there was nothing like the beauty of the exposure of that man's heart who had beautiful intentions easily misunderstood.

Not saying another word to you he left the most beautiful midi créme white dress laid on the bed for you, made out of silk with the silhouette of a corset with a slit on the leg and black velvet heels, he gave you a pair of black thigh-high black socks. You tried it on and you looked at yourself in the mirror, it had been a while since you felt this taken care of, he had picked out that dress only for you, thinking of you, it felt like he was spoiling you a little bit with this Dolce dress and heels.

He opened the door and smiled when he saw the dress on you, "I bought you some makeup too," He gave you a bag of Channel, and Dior makeup, a small black YSL purse, and perfumes for you to pick, "You've got two hours to get ready"

"You bought all of this for me?" You asked him, trying to hold your smile back.

He stared at you as he took out his golden cross chain from his neck, "Turn around" He laid it on top of your collarbone, "They don't need to know who you are, but they do need to see that somebody else owns you" He ran his hands thru your hair, he took out a small box from the pocket of his jeans, "That's for you too... wear it on your ring finger, and before I leave, don't cover up the bruises" He seemed serious about that part, he shut the door and left you all alone once more when you opened up the box there was a beautiful ring inside, with a stamp and a symbol even though you couldn't point out what exactly that was but nevertheless you wore it where he told you to, you smiled when you saw it on your hand.

"What's wrong with you?" You whispered to yourself in the mirror, why were you letting yourself think more than you should? After tonight you would be long gone, and he... he would forget about you, you shouldn't cling to the smallest details, you had to face the truth, maybe no one else has ever spoiled you this way, thought about you so meticulously, but Alex would let you go, and you will be obligated to forget any of this happened.

Since you had two hours, you decided to take your time with your hair, decided to do a quick blowout with a drier and a brush, the dress reminded you a lot of Claudia Schiffer, and her shoot with Joseph Gordon for the GQ magazine, so you went for a very feminine and elegant eye look, you wished you could stay with everything he had gifted you, or maybe he would, you finished just by the time he knocked on your door, watching you spray Poison Girl on your neck.

"I'm done," You said to him, "Do I look ok?"

He memorized every last bit of you, you were the type of girl he had daydreamed about, the type of girl that lives in his memory but is gone when he's present, he felt his heart tore, even if it was the smallest cut, it hurt, "You're beautiful" He said, "Come with me" You held his hand and finally went down the stairs for the first time, his house was huge, filled with art deco, sculptures, light, and the smell of cigarettes and black coffee, he had a piano by the living room with 4 guitars, the biggest book collection you had ever seen with comfy couches, and a batman poster, he had another living area with a TV, but you didn't have enough time to see everything, you turned to watch the moonlight reflect on his pool, the stars glimmering in the water.

You turned to look at him, he looked so handsome with his all-black suit and silver belt, and perfectly gelled slick back hair, "It's time," He said to you, you held his hand once more and went inside the limo, the same one as last time, you began to feel the same giddy feeling as the time before, repulsion and nausea, "Listen, what you're gonna do once inside, you're gonna go with the girls they'll be partying everywhere, and you're gonna sneak behind the bar, there's a small office with a big window facing the pool, you're gonna put this drive in the computer, and you'll go back to me, pretend that you had too much to drink, and we'll be out, I'll distract everyone there, this is very important and everything must be executed perfectly, there's no excuse, it's not too hard for you, right babe?" You said no with your head, and he immediately picked up on what was wrong with you, he put his arm around you, "Everything's gonna be ok, have this" He gave you a burner phone "I trust that you won't call anyone because you know better than that, I put my number there, in case anything goes wrong, call me, and I'll be there" You nodded, when you looked at him in the eyes, suddenly you had forgotten everything was wrong, you knew if you held on to his words tightly everything would be ok.

He went out of the car and opened the door for you, he grabbed your hand and headed thru the back door of the hotel, The Empire Hotel, his dad's hotel, you felt chills, you could keep it cool but for how long?

Behind the red couching doors there was a whole other part of the hotel, the bar was full of girls dancing around in just some loose underwear, and a few of them had no bras on, you felt strange wearing a dress while the rest seemed to be way more comfortable with just some panties and a bra, you glanced at Alex but his look was straight, aiming towards a table full of men smoking cigars and drinking Martinis, "I see you already began without me, Mark!" All of the men stood up with open arms to greet Alex and you, some of them were in their 30s or 40s, and some looked old enough to be your grandfather, all of the hugging you, their arms around your lower back and their hands holding your hips, they kissed the crook of your lip.

"I see what you got here Turner! Fresh meat" Alex held you close to him his hand on your hip, gripping it hard and possessively, "Not so fresh anymore, right fellas?" All of the men laughed at the bruises on your neck, "What's your name, cherry pie?"

"Where's David?" Alex interrupted, it was part of his plan to confront him, tell him exactly what was he going to do, but the creepy old man began an eye contest with you, his smudge and filthy smirk, and eyes made you feel disgusting, his breath stunk of liquor and cigars, he was relatively handsome, white hair, tall and fit but you had someone better. Alex squished your hand tightly, and you his fingers.

"He couldn't make it, something came up for him" He quickly answered Alex, he came back to you, "Join the other girls to play, let the grown-ups talk for a bit, yeah?" He referred to Alex, as he cupped your cheek and played with your nose, "You're something else, aren't you?" You were quiet, "Liz!" A blonde-haired girl came up to the table, she had the most tender and friendly smile, and you immediately felt better around her presence, "Hey ya baby girl, gimme a kiss" She leaned in forward to give him a small peck on the lips, "Settle her in, I bet you have something nice for her to wear" He smacked her ass, and she giggled.

"Sure daddy, come with me" She held your hand and Alex followed you behind, he grabbed your hand pulling you away from her, and leaned forward to give you a kiss lightly caressing your neck with his thumb, he caught you off guard but you immediately returned the kiss, something inside had switched the moment his lips pressed against yours, he took the advantage to slip his tongue inside your mouth, your heart was giddy just like when you were younger and had your first kiss, that excitement turned your cheeks warm and pink, you gulped when he parted his mouth from yours. He proved to all of the men there that he owns you.

"I'll distract them, meet me here once it's done, got it?" You nodded your head, "Kiss me again" Without asking twice you leaned forward cupping his cheeks and kissing him with the same passion he kissed you, his hands dropped from your hips to your ass, and he hummed with pleasure, and you gasped, a moan slipping from your mouth to his, you couldn't hold it back but the way he bit your bottom lip before touring the kiss apart told you that he liked it, "Don't take long, I'll wait for you here,"

"Get them a room!" The man joked, you went back to Liz, she hid her laugh once she was away from the table.

"God! That was something else" She joked, "I didn't know Mr. Turner had another girl, I thought he was dating Karina, she told me it was nothing though but I don't know they seemed close, then she met Miles and they're inseparable so I guess she was right, what's your name by the way?"

"Oh, I'm Carmen" You lied, though giving her a genuine smile, she walked you to a well-hidden elevator, pressed the buttons, and rested her back on the walls.

"Tell me all about you and Alex! To be honest I want to dump Mark, he's a total jerk to me, he doesn't even get his thing up by himself I need to spend like 30 minutes stroking his dick to get it a little bit hard, I'm dating another guy in the table though, and let me tell you that guy... he's a beast and I love it, but don't say anything Mark doesn't know" She giggled, and the door opened, you were inside Liz's penthouse there were a few girls having drinks and snorting coke from a golden platter, Liz pulled you to the bedroom some girls looking at themselves in the mirror, whilst others tried on a few clothes, "This is my closet" She had a whole entire room for her clothes, "This is the only benefit of being with Mark, the only bad thing is his unfuckable dick" You laughed and hugged her.

"I won't say anything I promise," You glanced at your phone, you were losing time with Liz, and even if you wanted to spend more time with her, you had to finish what Alex told you to do, "Do you have anything black?"

"You're gonna be inside the pool or out?"

"Out, I spend a lot of time trying to get this hair ready so..." She nodded her head and took out a black Agent Provocateur see-thru set with cute black bows and embroider flowers, it came with a matching pair of black stockings, "Woah! This is-"

"Put it on!" She helped you out of your dress and gave you a quick touch-up before you looked at yourself in the mirror, "Gorgeous, it looks better on you than me!"

"I'm sure this looks amazing on you" She looked at herself in the mirror, she had a pastel-colored lingerie set, and she gave herself a smack on the butt.

"You're right, it does but you can keep it... oh! And I know what goes just perfect with it" You smiled at her when she covered you up with a big and fluffy fur coat, she was so kind to you, it's been a while since you last had a friend like Liz, outgoing and charismatic, but not cocky and self-centered, she was legitimately a nice girl, "Gimme a quick sniff," She said to the girl, she put her pinky up and she inhaled the white powder, "You want some?" She asked you, you were tempted but you didn't let it affect you, you had bigger things to do, and you needed to do them sober.

"Just a cigarette," You said, Liz gave you one from the box she had inside the socks, and you giggled going back to the elevator, she kept talking about her new relationship, and how good it was while you tried to find a way to sneak inside the door, she held your hand and walked you back to the table with Mark and Alex, you smiled at them all and looked at the malicious faces.

"What do you think, Daddy?" Said Liz to Mark and he spun you around checking you out with no shame not caring about Alex being right in front of him, Alex wanted to rip his hand off but he stepped back, he looked at you from top to bottom, he had no words, that set had him on the verge of throwing everything out of that table and fucking you so hard against it, his eyes were glued to your legs and your thighs, your heart-shaped butt, he bet it fitted in his hands just perfectly, "You did an amazing job honey, that why you're my angel, sit with us for a little" Liz sat on Mark's lap, and Alex grabbed your hips and sat you on his thigh, legs opened, the rough fabric of his jeans lightly grazed a spot that made you feel tingles, you wondered if he did that intentionally, his legs were spread in a very manly and dominant way, you sat closer to his crotch, feeling something hard, and bulging, you tried to hide your smile.

"Here you go, gentlemen!" One of the men said when he came back to the table with another plater of coke, the lines were already done for each of them to snort, Alex grabbed a dollar and sprinkled the coke on your inner thigh, snorting off from you, his face so close to yours, you sighed feeling electricity all over your body.

"Here's to the girls!" Mark said, all of them raised their glasses, while Liz poured you something in a cup, you didn't know what it was, "To the girls!" They all said, you emptied the cup in your mouth, feeling the booze burn your throat, your cheeks held in the liquid, they all laughed at your face but you swallowed anyway.

"She swallowed it!" One of them said, "She's a good one, right Alex?" Alex nodded his head, and pulled you in, putting his hand on your inner thigh and gripping it tight.

"Yes, she's a very good girl," He said to you, and only for you to listen, "Go now," He told you.

"Let's dance I love this song!" You grabbed Liz's hand and went dancing, you left Liz with the other girls promising that you had to go to the bathroom first, and you made your way to the bar, you acted drunk and said to the barman, "Hi," You slurred, "Can I have um... like I want something very strong, you know?" You laughed, and he nodded his head, the moment he turned to make your drink you used that to get inside the office, luckily it was unlocked, you closed the door and immediately found the computer, it obviously had a password, you used your phone to text Alex for help, he quickly wrote it down for you, and you took out the drive from your bra, you were surprised how unprotected his computer was but he was old though, something about this being so easy made you feel off, the download took a bit though, you felt anxious you wanted to get out as fast as possible now, you sneaked out and peeked to the barman, he was distracted and you quickly blended in with everybody else, you put the drive inside your sock and went back to Alex, acting drunk.

"Al- Daddy," You said to him sitting in his lap, "I missed you," You said with a cheeky smile, his eyes got big, as you leaned in to give him sloppy and wet kisses on his neck, "I have it, it's in my stockings" You whispered to him, putting your arms around the back of his head, pecking his lips, his hands ran down your thighs feeling how soft and smooth your legs were until he reached the hem of your stockings, you could hear his hallow and heavy breathing, but you acted like it was nothing, going back to kissing him, slowly, feeling a sweet melody covering your ears, he let's go of the environment around him, of all the pressure, and now he was hurrying to kiss you back, his arm around your tummy to hold your hand, while the other kept your head in place, you felt him smiling thru the kiss, he didn't hide it, he liked feeling your soft lips and the the sweetness of your mouth on his, you forgot about everything that happened prior to the kiss, this was your way of letting him know that despite everything, you liked him, and you forgive him, this was your way of saying goodbye to him.

What you didn't ask yourself is if he was ready to say goodbye to you.

"I think it's time to go, right angel?" He said to you, he shook hands goodbye to all of them and picked you up from the ground, putting your bag on his shoulder, you giggled along with him, hugging him tightly until you got back to the limo, he sat you down, and you cuddled close to him, "Let's get you back home, ok? I have your real phone here" He took it out from the pocket of his jeans, "We made a good team, my love" You looked at him, and you held him tight, he cupped your cheek looking at you with love and tenderness setting aside everything he had done to you, you knew he did it to keep you safe, and now, you realize it, and all he wanted was to kiss you, his eyes they yearned for your lips, and his mouth from one last taste, you were the one who leaned in forward and gave him a small lingering kiss on his lips, he closed his eyes and he enjoyed the feeling of leaving this world and focus on you completely, he kept kissing you deeper his kisses turning to much rougher and needy ones, you hummed feeling the taste of whiskey and tobacco, he pulled you to sit in his lap, he couldn't resist you in that black set, he just wanted to be all over you, he could see everything just perfectly, his hand gripping and smacking your ass, you moaned on his mouth, and with his tongue he rammed the tip of it on your bottom lip, "You're killing me" He gasped when you sat on his pulsing bulge, "You want this?" You grabbed his gun from his pocket.

You grabbed his hands, and aimed them at your chest, "I don't know what it is that I'm feeling, but I would die if my heart ever stopped beating like this, I don't know what you make me feel but it feels right, I much prefer to die then to spend my life without you," He understands you, he sees you for what you truly are, "I prefer you holding me hostage for the rest of my life," You instinctively closed your eyes when he kissed you, it was full of emotion, emotions that no one else could comprehend like you and Alex, he knew no one else would understand him just like you did, even if he was cold, cruel and violent, you stuck with him thru the fire, his love was full of rage but you would let it burn you and turn you to ashes if it meant you would be loved by him, you would let it consume you. He puts his hands around your throat leaving you breathless.

"You know there's no going back," He sounds serious, "It's been a lonely way for me, but it's better like that, I wouldn't want anything or anyone to hurt you, I've lost so many things... this is the life I created for myself"

"I know you're lonely... I can fix that," You said to him, your fingertips against his cheek, "I want to be with you"

"Why would you want to be with me, I'm a total stranger to you, you don't know me, I'be hurt you before "

"I do know you, and I trust you just like you trust me... this stranger took care of me, trusted me to do something that was very important for him, and when he kissed me I knew I didn't want him to stop, you're in my veins, you're everywhere and you fuck everything up, but I much rather be fucked up by you" He smiled, "Fuck me up, and hurt me, I'll still choose to be with you" He hungrily kissed you, his hand running down to your thigh and gripping it hard, pulling your hair, with the right not losing the grip on your neck, he watched how your hips roll back, agonizing and moaning.

"You're mine, say you're mine" He ordered.

"I'm yours," You whispered, his hands turned your head to the side, holding your neck, chocking you until you were out of breath, his tongue was eager to be inside your mouth, and your mouth was waiting for it to taste you, his kisses began to grow hotter, his breathing heavier as you kept grinding your hips against his, his hand slammed your ass and your breathing hitched, "Take me home with you" You whispered to his mouth, "Please, I wanna go home to you, I wanna be yours," His fingers sneaked inside your panties, sliding up and down so easily.

"Figuring out what gets you so wet is harder than you think... but I wanna know what soaks you? Is it me... huh?" He said to you, he had you in a complete chokehold, you were crying as his fingers weren't too far from touching your sweet spot, "I knew you were something special since I hit you, and it felt like a kiss" He pressed his mouth against yours, his fingers reach higher and lightly touch your spot making you tremble, "I wonder what else can make you feel like this..." He pulled out a blade out of his pocket, "Look at that pretty neck, do you remember how I had my knife against it?" You heard the blade snap open, the sharp pointy knife against your belly, "I would kill for you," He kept kissing you until suddenly the car stopped, he looked out of the window and realized he was right in the place he wanted. He picked you up from the car, carrying you to his home, and up to his room, it was so cozy and big, the mattress so warm, he crawled on top of you, you quickly tore his shirt out of his body, the buttons flying across the room, he was desperate to get your clothes off your body, his sharp blade ran down your arms until he cut open your bra, you gasped when he threw it away exposing your chest, "This too..." The sharp edge ran up your inner thigh, "It's just in the way" He presses it flat on your hip and cuts it off your body, spreading your legs wide open, putting the knife on his vanity, "Fuck, just look at that," His mouth was drooling inside for a taste, his knife going down your belly, "Just looking at you so wet for me, so wet for it... I saw how eager you were at the party, you were quite needy and willing to do just about anything for it, you like taking orders" He squished your cheeks together, "Tell me babe, what do you want from me?" You smiled even if it was hard to.

"You know exactly what I want daddy, I want you to fuck me like a real man," You purred but he could sense how nervous you were, even the smallest trace of it, "Use me... use me any way you want to"

"Would you be able to handle it honey? 'cause I don't think you will" He pins your wrists to the bed with just one hand, while the other plays with your lips, trapping his fingertip between your teeth.

"I'm ready daddy, I will handle it" You promised him, "Let me-" You tried to reach his pants but you were trapped in between his arms.

"Oh, this?" He pushed down his pants kicking them to the floor, you could see just the shadow and the outline of his cock but it wasn't just seeing it, you wanted to feel it and he knew exactly what you wanted, he rocked his hips back and forward pressing up his rock hard boner against your inner thigh, you gasped, he flipped your hair to the side, putting his hand on the back of your head gripping your hair tightly, "You know what I really want?" He pinched your chin and opened your mouth, sliding his finger between them for you to suck on it, you did it with no shame, starting slow, and swirling your tongue around it, he pushed another one in pressing them down your throat making you gag and spit them out, he made a big messy fist with your hair putting you down on your knees, "Suck it," You put your lips around him, teasing him at first you thought it would be fun, you just held him inside your mouth barely even sucking or licking him up, he made a fist pulling it harder than last time and he fucked your throat deep, making you gag and choke, making you become a drooling mess, "I see you like to be treated like a fucking cunt, so you're gonna be treated like that, open wider" You obeyed him, and he cupped your chin and the back of your head pulling it up to spit in your mouth and in your face smudging the makeup you had left "Gorgeous" He put your face back down to his swollen dick, "Kiss it" You pressed your lips on his dick, giving him some ticklish and silly kisses on it, he tugged your hair once more signing you to get back on it, when he saw how good you took him inside your mouth, he stopped being so aggressive to you, and he caressed your hair as he saw you giving him the best blow ever, your mouth so warm, and your lips plump, gulping and swirling your tongue, "Look at me" When your eyes raised to look at him, something inside him, way deep, had shifted when he saw your glimmering and loving eyes, since that moment, he pulled your head back pulling your head up to kiss your mouth, your kisses were sweet and tender while his where more erotic and rough, you followed his pace he settled on top of you hovering you over to lay down, "I can't wait to finally be inside you, you felt so good 'round me fingers, it just gets me harder to think about me fuckin' you" He bit your bottom lip.

"So please, just do it, Alex, please" You begged him crying, with every part of you, "Please..." You whispered but he wasn't giving in, "Did I do-"

"Nothin's wrong with you, I just- ... do you really wanna be in this with me?" His eyes illuminated when you smiled and kissed him, just a small peck but it was honest, "If you stay with me, you'll be in danger, you might get hurt, this is your final chance to decide what you really wanna do" You cupped his face, very lovingly caressing his cheeks and tracing his nose with your thumb.

"This, you... is really wanna do, I have nothing else to lose, nothing to gain, so I much rather take a ride with you, than stay here and live the rest of my life like I used to, I would've died if you hadn't taken me with you, you saved me, you're like my guardian angel" You cuddled closer to him, "You keep me safe, and you protect me, I trust you... and I like you" You blushed when you said you liked him, just like a little girl on the swings, "I need you, Alex, please... don't leave me" He hugged you to his chest.

"I won't, darlin' and you'll be loyal to me, right?" He asked you, and you answered immediately by saying yes with your head, and with your mouth, "Good 'cause I don't think anybody else will love you as much as I do," He made your eyes soften when he gave you those reassuring words, just what you needed to hear, "Forget about those other men, I'll be your man, you'll be my sweet little good girl"

"Maybe not too good," You said, and he smirked cupping your cheeks together.

"Listen, if you're gonna be with me you obey me" You nodded with a smile, "Don't laugh at me smartass," He said and it made you laugh even more how angry he got, without you expecting his next move he pushed himself all the way inside you with no warning and no mercy, "You're not laughing now, aren't you?" Your laughter turned into a loud moaning, his hips thrusting into you slowly but slamming his cock inside you harshly, you were gasping for air gripping his white sheets with your hand while your other hand scratched his back, fingernails digging into his skin, you were trying to say something but it was just a mumble, "What's that?" He mocked, "Huh?... that's so pathetic" He dug himself inside you making you scream, "Let's go, just like that babe" He put one of his legs up as he threw one of your legs over his shoulder, and he pushed forward making your body jolt and almost hit your head against the headboard, he put strength on his knuckles to hold his weight for the position, kneeling on the bed to get a better approach to you and your spot, meat to meat and skin to skin, the sounds of his body slamming against yours, "You feel perfect, so fucking tight and warm, just perfect, you're my little whore aren't you? tell me how much you love it, 'cause I know you do"

"You're using me just the way I needed daddy, and the burning and stretching... fuck I love your cock please, I want more, keep fuckin' me like a slut" He slowed down his movements, "Please, daddy?" You cried, making him soften but it wasn't right enough, "Pretty please, daddy?"

He crumbled to ashes at those words, "You're my nasty little princess, you're so adorable when you call yourself a slut" He slammed himself inside you, "I'll make you forget everyone else, I'll be the only thing in your mind for now on, did you hear me?" He was getting more aroused by the second, grunting and moaning, he pulled your hair back to see your face, your eyeballs were white, his thumb opened your eyelids and she smiled when he saw your pupils dilated, "God, you love it that much?" You gasped not even being able to speak, you were completely silent just gasping for air and crying, your makeup had been washed out by your tears, all the blushed replaced by your natural flush, he kissed your lips sloppy with his tongue tracing your bottom lip, his mouth stained cherry red, "I want all your lipstick on me" You moaned when you felt your release firing up on the pit of your stomach, your heart was beating thru your ears, pumping blood to your eyes, it was too much for you, his moaning and gasping, how rough he was with you, you never imagined how much you would love it, his way of not only showing he cared was just as good as his love making, you couldn't handle it any longer, your mind was completely blank, your vision was blurry, and your ears were clogged, "Oh fuckin' 'ell you're just getting tighter and tighter, so close baby," You were knocked up when finally you reached your orgasm, the waves drowning you, filling it coming from the bottom of your chest up to thru your throat and shuting out of your lips, he left your mouth wide open for him, "Get that open... mmm fuck yeah, I'll cum all over your mouth and your face" He put his dick inside your mouth once more just for you to suck, and you did it without him asking, "Stick your tongue out" He pulled your head up by the hair, and you let your tongue out tasting his warm cum pour all over your tongue and your face, he didn't need to order you, you swallowed his hot cum, running your tongue thru your teeth, "Fuck! You're such fucking whore," He spread his cum all over your face and down your neck, your whole body was bruised, and tired, you couldn't get your heart to slow down, you were passing out on the sheets.

"Calm down, breathe" He soothes you, and he hugged you close to him, covering your body with his arms, chest on chest, heart to heart, you felt his heart rate slow and calm, and you breathe in and out, calming your self down as you looked at his deep brown eyes, he was covered in sweat his perfect hair messy just like the first time you saw him "Steady...shh, just like that" Once you were calm and relaxed he covered your body up with the blankets, "Good my darlin'?"

"Mhm," You cuddled close to him, "Was I good, daddy?" He kissed you tenderly and lovingly caressed your hair.

"Perfect babe and did you like it... felt comfortable?" You hummed as a yes, you tried to get more comfortable in his bed, your arms were hurting so much, you grunt and he noticed, he picked you up and rests your body on top of his, his hands grazing your back up and down slowly.

"To be honest..."

"Yes?"

"I'm not very tired... I'm hungry actually" Both of you giggled at the same time.

"Midnight cookies and milk?" He dressed you up in his shirt, and he changed into his boxers, you pouted, then he piggybacked you downstairs into the kitchen, sitting you on the counter while he prepared the cookie dough, you dumped the whole chocolate chip bag into the bowl and you loved how he laughed, deep and silly, contagious, the rest of the night you spend it watching movies and snacking on the cookies, but nothing as sweet as his lips and charming smile, you fell asleep but Alex really couldn't, it had been the first time in a long time he had felt so excited about someone, someone that cared for him as much as he cared for them, those familiar and nostalgic butterflies on his stomach began to fly and jump up and down inside his stomach, and if only you were woke you would've heard his heart pump faster than yours.

He turned to his phone and looked at the time, it was 4 in the morning, and no signal at his house, he got up and carefully laid you down on the bed covering you up with the blankets, he grabbed all of the dirty dishes and cups going downstairs to fix the electricity, once back inside he heard the sound of a clipper, a flame lighting up a face he hadn't seen in years.

"Hello Alex" It was him.

The sound of a bullet woke you up as fast as the gunshot, your eardrums were clogged just like last time, and everything seemed to go fast but too slow, you felt like you weren't running down the stairs fast enough when you saw Alex's body laying on the floor, with his silver gun on the hand, you heard a car speeding down the highway, you cried and screamed holding Alex's body, you still felt his heart beating but a lot of blood was coming out of him, could he be dying? could you save him in time before it could be too late?

To be continued...

[firthbetterorfirthworse]

Colin Firth

My first unhinged project involved watching all of Colin Firth's IMDB acting credits, to see how often he got wet.

Figured I'd make a master list of the posts I made. I didn't make a post on everything, so if there's one without a link you can always request to hear my thoughts hahaha

I also made a post about his hair choices, because he does a lot of period pieces and oh boy do I often have Thoughts

And here's a post about how his trend of getting wet changed our perception of Darcy forever

I ended up making a powerpoint presentation of my data (that I drunkenly presented to my friends, highly recommend) and put it in posts here: Intro Graphs and Data Influence

1917 (2019)

1919 (1984)

The Accidental Husband (2008)

The Advocate/Hour of the Pig (1993)

And When Did You Last See Your Father (2007)

Another Country (1984)

Apartment Zero (1988)

Arthur Newman (2012)

Before I Go To Sleep (2014)

Blackadder Back and Forth (1999)

Born Equal (2006)

Bridget Jones Diary (2001)

Bridget Jones: Edge of Reason (2004)

Bridget Jones' Baby (2016)

Camille (1984)

Celebration (2007)

A Christmas Carol (2009) Intro, Movie

Circle of Friends (1995)

Command (2018)

Conspiracy (2001)

Crown Court episode (1984)

Deep Blue Sea (1994)

Devil's Knot (2013)

Donovan Quick (2000)

Dorian Gray (2009)

Dutch Girls (1985)

Easy Virtue (2008)

Empire of Light (2022)

The English Patient (1996)

Femme Fatale (1991)

Fever Pitch (1997)

Fourplay/Londinium (2001)

Gambit (2012)

Genius (2016)

Girl With a Pearl Earring (2003)

The Happy Prince (2018)

Hope Springs (2003)

Hostages (1992)

Hour of the Pig/The Advocate (1993)

The Importance of Being Earnest (2002)

The King's Speech (2010)

Kingsman: Secret Service (2014)

Kingsman: Golden Circle (2017)

Last Legion (2007)

Londinium/Fourplay (2001)

Lost Empires (1986) Intro, Pt 1, Pt 2, Pt 3, Pt 4, Pt 5, Pt 6, Pt 7

Love Actually (2003)

Magic in the Moonlight (2014)

Main Street (2010)

Mamma Mia! (2008)

Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again (2018)

Mary Poppins Returns (2018)

Master of the Moor (1994) Pt 1, Pt 2, Pt 3, Pt 3 Finale

The Mercy (2017)

A Month in the Country (1987)

Mothering Sunday (2021)

My Life So Far (1999)

Nanny McPhee (2005)

Nostromo (1996)

Operation Mincemeat (2021)

Out of the Blue (1991)

Pat Hobby Teamed With Genius (1987)

Playmaker (1994)

Pride and Prejudice (1995) (I didn't make a single post, it got a bit away from me so you can find the collection of links on my Pride and Prejudice masterlist)

The Railway Man (2013)

Relative Values (2000)

The Secret Garden (1987)

The Secret Garden (2020)

The Secret Laughter of Women (1999)

Shakespeare in Love (1998)

A Single Man (2009)

St Trinians (2007)

St Trinians 2: The Legend of Fritton's Gold (2009)

The Staircase (2022)

Stars in Shorts (2012)

A Summer in Genoa (2008)

Supernova (2020)

Then She Found Me (2007)

A Thousand Acres (1997)

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011)

Trauma (2004)

Tumbledown (1988)

Turn of the Screw (1999)

Valmont (1989)

What A Girl Wants (2003)

Where the Truth Lies (2005)

The Widowing of Mrs Holroyd (1995)

Wings of Fame (1990)

[absolutebl]

This Week(s) in BL - yes yes I KNOW

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Dec 2024 Week 1 & 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

Your Sky (Sun iQIYI) ep 3-4 of 12 - Them on the rooftop together (and cooking) learning how to flirt and be comfortable in each other’s space was so damn darling. Fah is so gentle and so enamored. its just endlessly soft. I love the nickname negotiation. And then next we got an illegally cute date!!!!! Yes this is slow but I don't care.

Love Sick 2024 (Sun iQIYI) ep 12-13 of 15 - I like we get more Phun/Dad conflict backstory in this new version. I'm chronicling my experience with 2024 as compared to 2014 here. (hasn't been updated, I'm struggling here)

Caged Again (Fri Gaga) ep 5-6 of 10 - Family (elder gays) to the rescue is a wonderful trope to see! So rare.

Also a v well done first kiss. 

Not gonna lie, I found the second episode overly weird and rather slow and drawn out. Did not need all the cartoon stuff. Also not really into the penguin outfit thing either. Not cute.

ThamePo Heart that Skips a Beat (Fri YT) ep 1 of 12 - Oh I absolutely adore it but...... it’s slow. But I don’t care because everyone’s so pretty. Po is a bit too much of a pushover for me and his sister (or whatever) is a bit too much of a sasang. So I don’t like that part. Hopefully these flaws will get rectified. But my oh my are they PRETTY.

Did I mention the pretty?

Fourever You (Thurs YT) ep 10-11 of 16 - These episodes were a bit better and I am warming Johan (if not to North). I think my issue with this story arc is I never love a tsundere seme. North's hair was epically bad, like 2008 Japan level terrible.

Hill & Ter’s make out and discovery scene was truly spectacular and very tense.

In ep 11 I got very confused because I thought we already saw the rescue from rape in the street scene? Or am I hallucinating? Anygay, most awkward kabedon ever in a BL.

Good kiss though.

And now we are in a very working girl a relationship. Cool if that's your thing, I guess.

The Heart Killers (Weds Gaga) ep 3 of 12 - I like the Khun Mehhh Boss lady character. I cannot stand the music in this show! Fake metal, fake tattoos, I'm getting Hollyoaks flashbacks. Lap sitting was cute and kink was a nice touch. Not sure about the dance tho. Fight scene was much better. Lots of action this ep. ALL the action really.  

Episode 4, however, I inexplicably couldn’t find. I clearly have to use my old-fashioned VPN work-around. And I don’t have access to that computer right now.

Perfect 10 Liners (Sun YT?) ep 6 of 24 - I did really enjoy the twist that the uke character (who is not in love) was more into having sex than seme character (who is in love). That was fun. And quite modern.

I do love them casually just walking around campus in waffle robes. For those who don’t know this is another dig at a BL trope. Frankly, now that there’s a lot more communication (and intentions have been made clear) between the two of them, I’m enjoying their relationship more. I still don't LIKE it. Also the ever present language play is making me happy. For those of you who missed it, the nuance of that krap from a prior perennially rude Arc is basically the equivalent of a semi-sarcastic but also kind of sweet “yes, dear.”

Meanwhile, Sea just popping up out of nowhere made me entirely too happy. I hooted with laughter, it was so ridiculous. Episode 7 I didn't pay much attention because the sound effects were particularly egregious - or was it just me? 

Spare Me Your Mercy (Thurs iQIYI) ep 2-4 of 8 - I went on a journey with this one this week. Ready?

2 - Ooo its very good. I like it a lot. The doc is soooo awkward it's almost believable and yet still sus. Such a great actor. I do keep wondering if they’ve already slept together at some point though. Like they once had a one night stand in college or something.  3 - I did not call the pharmacist and the hospital head kink. Nice twist. I do enjoy how very adult the relationship is between these leads, but I don't get a ton of chemistry. 4 - Well this show turned into something I was not expecting. I thought it was gonna be a sort of mystery but it’s not. It’s more crime thriller is he a serial killer thing. sorry all, but this is too dark for me rn. So I’m giving it a pass until it’s over and others have deemed it safe. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Our Youth AKA Miseinen: Mijukuna Oretachi wa Bukiyo ni Shinkochu (Japan Tues Gaga) ep 5-6 of 11 - Oh it’s the classic flip halfway through so we get the other perspective. I forgot that was coming. Silly me. Anther one for the 2024 sniff test list list. Oh they gave such an achingly sweet sex scene Triggers are rough with this one. We are in for a world of pain. Why am I still watching?

See Your Love (Taiwan Weds Gaga) ep 8 of 13 - gosh they are so sweet. The Daddy/idiot-brat side pairing is epic. Wish they got more screen time.

Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 11 of ? - finally stuff happened. 

Love in the Air: Koi no Yokan (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 6-7 of 10 - ugh, they kept the violation of the journal reading bit in the JBL version. It’s really hard to watch no matter what. I actually think the Thai version of that scene was better acted. But ho boy how do I ever like that character?

Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues ????) 11-12 end - Went pretty dark. Both psychologically, emotionally, and physically. I still like how the leads remained loyal and connected to each other though. Nice to see battle husbands again after so long. We don’t get them very often in BL these days. it’s just us against the world is always fun to watch. All that said  there’s quite a bit of chin stroking dialogue that was v on the nose and twee for JBL. Pleasure to see Haruto fight like a man who can actually fight, like the actor had some training or something (no idea if this is true). The final ep was satisfying and all in all, an enjoyable show.

A fun little JBL about a repressed lawyer who partners with (and then falls for) a beautiful street-savvy conman. Charmingly, they both come out the better and stronger for the relationship. The return of battle husbands, this time in the courtroom. Thank you, Japan, we appreciate a look in on an oft forgotten trope. 8/10

Be Moon - Falling for my enemy's son (China YT) movie from HBD Studio airing in short bits - this is another series of shorts that popped up on YouTube. It’s very pulp I not wild about it. Although I do like a lot of the tropes. 

Eyes on You (Hong Kong YT) - trailer, oh it’s mostly incomprehensible and really not good. I'd tell you what it’s about but I have no idea. There seems to be some sort of mystery and some violence and people fighting and a pair of lovers at the center of it who are being reunited. Or something.

It's airing but......

Winter Is Not The Death of Summer (Thai Weds YT) ?? eps - Criminals who meet in prison fall in love. I did find it on YouTube, initially un-subbed, then subs happened by which time I got distracted. The first episode seems to be only six minutes long. It is very pulp. But it is intriguing. For now it's to the wayside until someone tells me it landed safely. Occasionally Thai pulps want to be edgy and it's not a good look on them.

Secret Love (? YT?) 13-?? of 81 eps - I don't know what's going on either.

0.5D (Japan ????) 10 eps - Supposedly started 12/4 I couldn't find it though I'd like to watch. "Sales ace, Sada, has a secret that only his junior, Daiki, knows. He has pretended to have a gf for years, resulting in him being a virgin. But now Sada has fallen in love. Confused, Sada seeks advice from his junior." I sense another queer Cyrano De Bergerac. Info here.

Bad to Bed (Taiwan Sat YT) 10 eps - This is a little too low production value even for me + just very very odd. DNF

It Ended But?

Blue Canvas of Youthful Days (China Sun Viki) paused at eps 9-10 of 12 - I have been told the ending is OK if not great. I’m gonna hold off for a bit.

Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) 10 eps - I DNF'd at ep 7, did anyone stick with this until the end? Thoughts?

Next Week Looks Like This:

No cal for you. Mine is borked. LIFE. Interfering with my BL. Again.

End of year drops:

12/14 & 12/21 The Renovation (Thai mini One31) 2 eps - Writer turns his blossoming romance with holiday resort owner into a novel.

12/20 Eternal Butler (Taiwan Viki?) 12 eps - When Ever 4, a sophisticated AI robot, becomes the personal butler to Luo Bu Shi, a spoiled yet lonely young heir, an unexpected love story unfolds. (Spin off from the first season, new cast.)

12/29 Sangmin Dinneaw (Thai ????) ??eps - trailer Childhood friends (Thai & Korean) reunite after being apart for ten years. As the boys reconnect, their bond matures and feelings of romance begin to develop, in Thai.

Impression of Youth (Taiwan ????) ??eps - rummors are thsi is supposed to start this month.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Peak humor. Very good.

STRAIGHT = wrong word

(All Perfect 10)

LOOK AT THAT FACE> GAH. (Fourever)

(2 weeks ago)

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Don't complain you're lucky I got this done at all!