#Love You Humesha
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Did You Know? Sonali Bendre And Late Fashion Designer Rohit Bal Co-starred In A Film | People News
Mumbai: Actress Sonali Bendre, who was recently seen in the second season of the streaming show ‘The Broken News’, has revealed that the late designer Rohit Bal co-starred with her in one of the movies. The actress recently took to the Stories section of her Instagram on Monday, and shared a screenshot from the film in which Rohit stars along with her. She wrote on the picture, “Gudda, known to…
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#you dont even think of me and i think you do but because you are not posting on void about me#replacing bestie for other people#didnt you only tell me ke mere liye toh chai waala bhaiya is also bestie#but well only you were but the choice was unrequited#sometimes i feel even the love was#in most aspects yes you'd say avoidant attachment issues and in most aspects you'd try to deny but it is a no#but its been fucking nine years and idk if you remember it have followed it#but it shaped us#and i would do anything to remember all the information about you for forever humesha yknow#but sometimes i want it to get outta my head cause ik you are not thinking about me#and it should be a give and take so it fucking hurts less
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HAPPY DIWALI EVERYONE🪔
Wishing you a Diwali as bright as your dreams, filled with love, laughter, and endless chaand sitare moments! May your path light up with blessings, your heart dance in happiness, and each diya bring warmth to your life’s journey.
Happy Diwali, khushiyaan tumhare saath humesha rahein! 🪔🌟
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Today, I posted a video on my WhatsApp status which displayed the message "God isn't a machine who will remove all the problems of your life, god is a belief which will make you strong in hard times, god will always be with you in the time of difficulty" and the minute I posted it, I got a call from a very close friend of mine. When I received the phone she was crying miserably and said "Ye kya story lagai hai tumne? Tum humesha kehti ho na ki bhagwan humesha saath rehte hain, jo hota hai acche ke liye hota hai to fir mere saath aisa kyu hua? Bhagwan nahi aaye help karne srishti" my heart skipped a beat, I asked her what happened and she replied "Mere papa ki death ho gayi accident me unhe nahi aaye bhagwan bachane unhe koi nahi aaya bachane he was bleeding for 1 hour nobody helped him" I couldn't control myself from crying she said "Srishti, you never know the value of someone until they are gone, jo tum humesha roti rehti ho na choti choti baaton par, jo humesha complaint karti ho na har cheez ko lekar mat kia karo, be grateful kyuki jo aaj saath hain humesha saath nahi rahenge, tum bahot lucky ho"
After she hung up the phone, I cried a lot. There are so many things which I realised when she said it. I complain about my mom being so strict while she's the only person who cares about my health, nobody loves me more than her in this entire world. it felt like it's a message which was for me, we forget how important our loved ones are. We never know when's the last time we are meeting someone. I am sharing this so that you all start taking your loved ones seriously, guys life is very unpredictable be fortunate for what you have, not only for your parents but also for your friends and partner.
Also, the way she told me that nobody came to help his father showed how humanity isn't present in most of us. Is it that hard to help someone? Guys if you ever get into situation where you can help someone ( even for a small thing) please do, some stranger's life might not be important to you but must be everything for someone else. Your ignorance can ruin someone's belief on god and your help can make it even stronger.
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hello! in tlg, there's a scene of reg learning hindi for james, but never one of james finding out; how do you think that went?
Ooh yes that! Them learning each other’s languages is so special to me.
Please bear with me because I don’t speak Hindi (or French), but this is how it went:
The Long Game
An additional scene
“Come on you bastard,” James shouts at the TV, his voice double the volume of any reasonable human in an enclosed area.
Regulus is sitting sideways on the sofa, leaning against the arm with his legs resting in James’ lap. He looks up from his book; even after eight months together, his boyfriend’s ability to be completely enraptured by people running up and down a field truly puzzles him.
Sure Regulus looks at the screen every now and then, but he’d be lying if he said it was for anything but the close ups of fit players in shorts.
“Are you wining?” Regulus asks.
“Not if Erling Haaland can’t kick a ball straight for once in his fucking life.”
Regulus raises his eyebrows, doing nothing to keep the smile off his face. James’ eyes are still glued to the screen, and quite frankly his whole energy right now is really rather attractive. There’s not a lot that can make James angry, and his set jaw and piercing eyes are a sight that makes Regulus want to make him forget there’s a game on at all.
He’d never do that though, he knows how much it means to the older boy, and so he makes himself content with just watching the emotions play across his face.
The other team scores a goal then and all hell breaks loose. Regulus is fairly sure he hasn’t heard that much profanity come out of one person’s mouth in his entire life.
Effie appears in the doorway then, her hands on her hips.
“James, dhang se bolo aur chillao mat. I know you’re an adult but this is still my house.”
James has the decency to look apologetic. Even with a game on, he can’t ignore his mum.
“Sorry, Mum. We’re losing.”
“Phir bhi, gaaliyan kam se kam honi chahiye, theekhe?”
James shrugs, “Main koshish karunga.”
She looks disapprovingly at her son.
“I’ll make sure he does more than try, Effie,” Regulus promises.
Effie smiles at that. “This is why you’re my favourite. Use shaitaani karne se rokna.”
“Ek namumkin kaam,” Regulus comments.
Effie laughs. “You’re not wrong there.” She gives James one last stern look before disappearing back down the hallway.
Regulus goes to read his book again but feels James’ eyes on him. He looks up to see a look of complete disbelief.
“What?”
“You just spoke to my mum.”
Regulus’ mouth twitches. “Is that not allowed?”
“Regulus.”
“Yes?”
“You understood and spoke to her in perfect Hindi.”
Regulus is properly smiling now. “Is that a problem?”
There’s a moment of silence and Regulus can almost see the whirring of James’ brain. He then splits into a wide grin, the warmth spreading to his eyes almost immediately.
“You learned Hindi for me?”
“You learned French for me.”
James shakes his head, his expression soft. “I love you so much, Regulus Black.”
The older boy puts his hands on Regulus’ knees before leaning in, waiting for him to lean forward and meet him halfway. Regulus does so gladly, his love for James warm on his lips.
“Say it in French,” Regulus says, voice low.
James’ smile is back. “Je t’aime chaque jour davantage.”
Regulus takes his hand as he speaks. “Mai tumse humesha pyaar karunga.”
“Only forever? That’s not nearly long enough.”
And Regulus kisses him, because how else is he supposed to respond to that? Especially when he agrees. Forever is not long enough to love James Potter.
As they pull apart again James speaks. “Regulus, I love you so much and you learning Hindi for me means the absolute world and we will definitely come back to this moment, but-“
“James-” Regulus interrupts and James pauses in his rambling. Regulus smiles. “You can get back to the game, it’s fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I’ll have plenty of time later to seduce you in multiple languages.”
James takes an audible deep breath. “Fuck me, I’m so lucky.”
“Don’t forget it,” Regulus winks at him before picking up his book again, settling back down on the sofa as he does so.
“Regulus.” James asks just before his attention is once again consumed by football.
“Mm?”
“We can talk about Sirius while he’s in the room now.”
And oh, the French and the Hindi is sexy, but that suggestion? Well, that’s the hottest thing he’s ever heard.
#marauders#james potter#jegulus#regulus black#please forgive me for the translations#I’m doing my best
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To the Ishq of My Life💗 :- Thodi pagal hu tum sambhal loge na Baat baat par rone lagti hu tum chup Kara loge na Self doubt aur hate par kuch zyada hi vishwas hai tum ye vishwas tudwa doge na Pta nahi kabhi tumhe apne bade se gusse me thoda sa daant du Par tum uss baat ko Dil se mat lagana You see there's a reason ki tum mere ishq ho love nahi kyunki love bhale hi thode din me khatam ho jaata ho par mere Dil me tumhara ishq ibadat ki tarah hai , main khatam ho sakti hu par ye ibadat mere Marne ke baad bhi tumhare naam….. Aur agar tumne mujhse kabhi ishq karna chhod bhi diya to main itna kar lungi Jo hum dono ke liye poora pad jaaye… Shayad tumhare baad bhi zindagi me koi aaye par tum humesha mere mann ki ibadat rahoge ye Mera tumse waada hai aur main apne shabdon ki badi pakki hu to main khatam ho jaaungi par Mera waada nahi…💖
#desi tag#desi tumblr#desi shit posting#desi teen#relatable af#desi academia#desi people#desiblr#relatable content#desi blog#desi memes#desi stuff#desi core#being desi#desi things#desi aesthetic#desi romantic academia#desi romance#me af#me and him#me and who#me mine#me talking#rants
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There are many epics of SRK when it comes to the romance genre but Om Shanti Om is my all time favourite and no other Bollywood movie comes close to this one. May be because it shows how to love someone selflessly and with that much passion.
People take this film as a love story and no doubt it is, but this story is not about mutual love, but the one sided love of Om. You see, Shanti never loved Om that way. From what I believe she took him just as a friend. As she was already married. She didn’t even realise. It’s a different thing that the person she loved and married turned out to be evil but Om even after knowing that she will never be his, he went to save her and died in the process. Sheer tragedy.
I don’t think stories like these will ever exist in the real world and that too a mutual one. A hopeless romantic like me will die craving for something like this and it’s okay if I don’t find that in this lifetime because these are mere concepts. We don’t get what we want. May be we get what we need. How can we be sure about that? And sometimes we get something which we have to build with lots of effort and dedication. But we run away from it. May be when we finally find that connection we shouldn’t give up, because if we do we will lose out on something rare by treating it as ordinary. But everything’s a theory?
Like I’ve always said, love stories are beautiful in the fictional world - in books, films, poems and songs. They rarely exist in the real world. And those rare stories are so beautiful and heart touching. They fill us with warmth and hope.
Is liye ye bohot zaroori hai ki hum art banate rahein, kahaniyaan likhte rahein, nazm aur shayari sunate rahein aur gaane gaate rahein.
Kyun ki kahin to humein pyaar ko zinda rakhna padega.
Aisa pyaar jo humesha ke liye ho.
Avis
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what do i love the most? parallels! so here are some ipk moments that got a callback further in the series so i ~combined~ them (also, some of the transitions aren't the best but i tried oof) in no particular order:
arnav emulating khushi for *clears throat* completely valid reasons (even though it was okay when he did it? *cries dramatically* are you okay sir?)
sambhal liya! humesha sambhalta rahunga *blush blush*
when arnav let go vs when he held on <3 <3 (this one has my heart, the level of emotions that changed in these characters between that period!)
all three entries of khushi in shantivan iykyk
arnav learning to do khushi's patti from watching buaji do it (khushi: aap hume itna kareeb se dekhte hain, hume pata nahi tha *bats eyes*)
heartfelt confessions in gazebo (when she was leaving and he apologized vs when he was leaving and she held his hand pre dhak dhak)
arshi on mandir steps on teej and shadi (this is just so beautiful like???)
sitaareeeee (aur phir jo bhi kuch hua 🤭)
i don't usually make gifs but these are the ones that i actually like making occassionally but that's it for today folks! i ran out of time (and disk space lol)
#picture toh abhi baki hai mere dost#kitne saare callbacks hai that i can't even keep track smh#phuljari posts#phuljari gifs#ipkknd#arshi#arnav khushi#arnav singh raizada#khushi kumari gupta#iss pyaar ko kya naam doon#parallels
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🎊Host चाय ka blog🎊
Owner of @desi-gapshap-announcement and @desiblr-gapshap
*Cameras turning on* *intro music playing*
[Dil walo ke dil ka karar lutne me aayi hu desiblr walo ke dil lutne.]
"Soon aap sabke dilo ko sach me lut-" *pointing at the audience*
"Everyone hates your rude side, so work on that. To win everyone's heart... you have to work hard." Said @alhad-titli (my तितली bhabhi who is my co-host as well.)
"Ha ha thik hai ab logo ko sach hajam nhi hota to meri kya galati..."
*Ehem!!!* *Singing* "Aise host ki baato me koi kese na aaye? Ho chai ki chapad chapad.... Yes I'm a bathroom Singer and am learning guitar. Ha me flex kar rahi hu so what?"
*तितली giving me side eye*
"Anyway... Welcome welcome welcome.... Even though you couldn't follow your dream under your desi parent's pressure and were forced to follow their chosen career path, you can still choose to who you want to follow on tumblr.
So why don't you follow right things here instead of following someone who is too hard to approach? You don't have a guts to reach out to your favorite mutual? Worry not we are here for that.
We will help you out but for that Go and follow @desi-gapshap-announcement and @desiblr-gapshap right now. Don't miss the chance to have a surprise shout-out."
"Bohot promotion ho gaya... Ab meri baari So hello guys chai pi lo-" *my co-host तितली bhabhi giving me side eye again*
"pardon my chai obsession guys. Let's retake again... Cut!" *तितली sighing*
*Ehem!!!* (Masculinity at it's finest because I'm tomboy with girly heart who loves desiness.)
"Ram Ram. Aapka swagat hai mere host blog par. Vese to me ek sushil sanskari sundar kanya hu par-"
"Jaldi bol inhe scrolling karne bhi nikalna hai" said तितली from the side. "Hum yaha tera patni material hone ka interview nhi le rahe."
"Pardon my bak bak again... Kabhi kabaar idhar udhar nikal jaati hu. Ek aur baar retake kare ky-"
"Jaldi bol le warna me kisi aur ko co-host ki seat de dungi!" Said तितली strictly.
So hello guys I'm your hot host चाय. Yes चाय humesha hot hi hoti hai. No argument. Agar ye bola kisi ne ki thandi pite hai to we will have a problem..." *तितली glaring at me*
"So as I was telling you about my host blog... I will interview different celebrities of our desi side of tumblr and we will have fun conversation here. Sometimes I can be little mischievous so I hope you will forgive me."
"I will reblog question and answers of whichever guest I'm interviewing. And yes I will banter with my co-host as well. Which will be the behind the scenes."
You can send ask to be interviewed by me if you want, you can dm if you are too shy.
Definitely I'm turning anons off because I don't want creepy anons cause of past incidents here.
For more details go and check out our main blogs.
@desi-gapshap-announcement
@desiblr-gapshap
@alhad-titli ( who is my bhabhi as well as our co host )
*Cameras turning off*
"It was okay. Good thing I didn't expect much from you." तितली fixed her hair.
"Hehehe... Vese bhabhi itna kaam karva rahi ho salary discuss kab karen-"
"Konsi salary? Ja kar bartan manjh." Said तितली bhabhi with dead serious poker face.
*Heart broken**crying in corner* "Guys justice for चाय please!"
*Gun shot* "What justice?" तितली asked after borrowing gun from Om.
"Kesa justice?! I'm happy!!!! I'm so happy to be here hehehe..." *wiping sweat and following after her as तितली left in search of guests.
#aao behen bitching kare#chai pe charcha#parde ke piche kya hai ( bts )#chokra jawan#चाय aur तितली ki masti#sawal javab ka silsila with चाय#चाय ke khel#surprise appearance of desi sitare
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So we were talking about some future stuff. I am done with biochem.
There is something he said:
rishta toh phir bann jayega
I was like: huh wdym?
(Context: I was joking if I decided to work overseas for some time or live in another city. He knows I have loved my life living in different cities and I still want it to be it like that phir mein masters jobs kahan rehna aise etc baat kar rahi thi)
This golden guy: matlab tum agar durr rahi toh pyar thodi na khatam ho jayega. Pyar humesha rahega tabhi bhi kuch tarah se chizein sambhalenge. Par pehle career aur future ache se bannana hai na.
Girls, please get these kind of guys in your life. They will always want you to achieve your dreams and be there with you
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It's always pichle saal aaj ke din but for me it's pichle saal aaj ki raat.
So last year it was my exam tomorrow and I sat to study for it around 8 pm and around 9 pm something I got a call which was totally unexpected. It was him and everything changed.
He was kinda drunk that night and he called me and expressed all his love for me.
Like as I saw his call I was on cloud 9 like fr and as I picked it up he said I love you. And he said this that night for the first time and we talked til 3.30 am and in those 5 to 6 hours he said it for hundred times and just expressing his love and adoring me and was like being thankful to me for coming in his life.
That night he was on a trip with his frnds and his frnds were annoyed of him as he was badly drunk so his frnds were calling me and was just like ki yr tu isko kese bhi krke sulade yeh bs teri baat maanega yr sula de isko and I was like I can't even express what I was feeling that time.
And ukw when his frnds were telling him to put the phone down he was like ki dhik ni rha apni darling se baat kr rha hu jao yha se abhi tumhari bhabhisa se baat hori h meri and told his one of his frnd that namaste kr apni bhabhisa ko like fr fr I couldn't stop blushing and still while remembering those moments I can't resist smiling
And he told me shayaris sang songs for me and was kept on saying I love you and I was like you are just high and you don't mean any of these so then he said ki darling insaan nashe me humesha sach bolta h or jitna pyaar aapse h kisi se nhi maano ya mt maano like 😭😭
Last year I had him but today I had his memories like how fast the night changes
I just want those days back like please bhagwan ji vapis dedo 😭🧿🫀
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Happiest diwaliiii to my sakshi !!!! Enjoyyyyyyyy gurlll and bhagwan ji tujh pe and Teri family pe humesha blessings rakhe , you stayyyy happy and blessed , healthy rehna , and stay smiling cutiiuee !!! <333333 sending love and immense support to you 💜💞🪔
Happy diwali Khushi💓🌸😍😍.. thank youuuuu, sending lots of good wishes to you, stay safe and healthy, maine tujhr zor se hug kar lena hai💖 .. shares rajbhog with you. Kesar kulfi? 😉
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"No, Charu, you don't understand. I'll never forget. I'll always look for you - in every thought, every pause between thoughts. I'll keep looking over my shoulder, I'll keep coming back until one day, one day, you'll let me stay."
"Tum - tum aisa nahi kar sakte - Anir - Anirban!"
"Now don't misunderstand," he says with a ghost of his mischievous smile. "Tum na mila toh mar gaya. Tum jeet gayi main haar gaya. You kept saying you don't- you can't- you will never love me. Chalo phir maan gaya. I won't ask again. I promise."
"Ani-"
"Tum karo na karo mujhe toh kud se pyaar hai. Main ab iss uljhan mein jeena nahi chahta. Tum mera sauda karo yeh mujhe manzoor nahi. Toh lo. Let us put an end to it. Let us put an end to it all.
"Let us not meet again."
His head is still heavy in her lap, her fingers still locked in his mattered hair, his blood on her face, on her forehead, all over her. Fresh tears streaked through its brilliant and stubborn red, washing it away, diluting it until it faded into palest of stains.
Charu wipes at her eyes with the back of her hand furiously.
"I'll bring help. I'll save you. I won't let you go. I won't. I can't. I -"
He holds her by her wrist, holds fast enough for the first few of her bangles to crack. That bloodied grin on his face had grown mocking.
"Durga ke liye?"
He coughs, air makes a painful wheezing in his wind pipes.
"Tumhare dil mein kaha kissi ke liye pyaar honga, tumhe Durga se fursat hi kahan?"
"Let me go Anirban - I - I'll-"
"Didn't you tell me its wrong not to love someone who loves so much? To let them live without their fair share of love? Kya woh sirf Durga ke liye sach hai?"
"Anirban main tum se -"
"Pyaar nahi karti. Pata hai. I'm not enough. Pata hai. Then let me go, Charu. Let me go. It hurts to be half loved. It hurts to live like this. See you everyday and to know that you are mine but not mine. She's not mine but is mine. Main kud apna nahi raha. Ab iss Dard se aur guzara nahi hota."
"Anirban-"
"Tumhari kaanoon toh gunegaron ko bhi ek aakhri ichcha mangne ka mauka dete hai na? Toh humein bhi do, humari joh bhi ghuna rahi ho. Saza e maut se badi toh koi saza nahi suna sakti tum. You can't sentence anyone to live. Aur humari aakhri guzarish yahi hai."
The sob breaks through her now. Her hands warm with blood and his words drowning out with his own breath, Charu knows the battle is lost.
"Aur mera aakhri ichcha yahi hai."
Over and above them the storm ranges, bringing with it the first snow in decades over Darjeeling.
"Tumhare saat jee nahi sakta par - tumhare bahon mein - Mar- ar toh sakta hoon, na?"
"Nahi," the word stutters in her mouth. "Nahi."
"Tum mujhe chod kar nahi jaa sakte. Sab - sab chale jaate hai. M-ma - baa-baapu - aur ab - ab -t-tum -"
He brushes a thumb over the word.
"I never wanted to. But you did. Tum humesha yahi chahti thi na. Bhagvaan tumhari sunli. Mujhse chutkara dediya."
"Anirban."
"And you have your family now. Your sister. Your Durga.
"You have everything. Mujhe apne zindagi se kuch pal nahi de sakti? Pyaar nahi toh kya - hum dost toh the na?"
"Let me go Anirban. Let me save you. Let me -"
"Stay with me. Stay with me. Stay Charu. Stay."
He is no longer holding her, it's she who gathers him close, her frame shaking with sobs and making him tremble too. Anirban presses his head against the rhythm of her pulse, it takes effort and he feels nauseous, still there is a peace upon him. He closes his eyes to the thrum of her heart, the ripples of her breath.
"Stay," his lips form the word soundlessly, face cradled by her palms. "I want to sleep. I don't want to think anymore. I don’t want to fight anymore. Stay. Stay - Charu. Cha - ru. Cha..."
"ANIRBAN!"
*
They snatch him from her arms, cruelly, mercilessly - so thoughtless that it makes her screach.
"No. No - I have to stay with him. I have to protect him. I - he wanted me to stay."
Heedless. They are heedless. They don't understand.
"Durga karengi." Someone says. "Durga usski rakshakavach hai. Durga -"
"Durga unki kuch nahi hai!" The words spill forth in a spell of rage and self loathing fury. They could hold her back, tie her down, she would not care. "Kuch nahi hai! Unki patni main hoon. Anirban ki shaadi mere saat hui thi!"
"Has this girl lost her mind?"
She's painted in his blood, blinded by her own tears and Charu doesn't pause to think if she truly looked like a mad woman raging as she turned upon the only woman who knew what she was talking about.
"Masi ma! Tell them the truth! Tell them!" Charu takes hold of the older woman and shakes her. "Tell them!" She sobs. "Tell them before they take him. Please don't let them take him away. Anirban didn't want to go. Aap - aap hi ne kaha tha na? Mujhe - mujhe unke saat rehena hai? Mujhe - unki raksha karna hai? Woh log une le jaa raha hai Masi ma. Anirban ko nahi jaana tha. Une rokiye, une Sach bata dijiye! Une rokiye! Mere pati ko - mere pati ko le jaane mat dijiye."
She falls on her knees keening, until the older woman collapses beside her, claps her in her arms.
"Shona! Charu - shona meri baat sun. Meri baat -"
"Anir! Anir! Masi ma stop them - stop them - please!"
Sampurna cups her face, stills her trembling urgency. Her own eyes swimming, her own mouth quivering she raises a hand and deliberately wipes the blood streaking- half dry on her parting.
"N-nahi."
Sampurna bites back a sob of her own and shakes her head, holds her girl closer and rocks gently.
Dragging a shaky inhale, she looks at the others watching them suspiciously.
"She's telling the truth," she keeps it short, passing many shocked faces her eyes find Durga's. The shock has paled her, her hands tremble, her eyes fill. Sampurna drags another tortured breath, holds one grieving girl in her arms and stretches out a hand for the other; the collateral damage of that one wrong decision. "Durga...?"
Durga doesn't move, doesn't take that offered arm.
"Then, woh sab Sach tha? What Latika Ji aur Chumki were saying? How could you Masi ma? Why would you make me live with my sister's husband?"
She lets the disgust take over and turns away from her, just as the Banerjees work out their own fury.
"Do you realize what you did - Sampurna ji? You - you are responsible for this! Humara beta - our heir - we did tell you how important it was for his wife to -"
"As if you people were any better!" For the first time in her life Rajshri raises her voice. "Apart from wanting to keep him alive so that you have a heir on display, did you even consider Dada to be a human? Did you consider he had a heart and it was being broken all over every day? Aap sab ko apni izzat ki, pratishta ki padi thi! Aap sab - aap sab ne milkar dada ka iss haal kiya hai!"
"Rajshri -!"
The accusations is a hum around her, a hum of angry bees, stinging, scratching - Charu wants to scream. They still did not care. Still, all they wanted was to pass the blame on to somebody and wash their hands off. Wash - hands -
She looks down at hers, still caked with his blood.
He had always saved her, always been there, even if she kept running from him and the truth. Now that she was screaming the truth, demanding it to be accepted, the one man who would have lived had she dared to raise her voice before, the one man who would have supported her without a question - he was no more.
It claws at her, the realization.
They weren't worried about the swap at the wedding anymore because she was a bloody Roy Chaudhary. But Anirban had loved her before that, when she was just Charu.
He had proved her innocence when she was just a convict on parole. He had given her proof to win against his father when she was merely grasping at straws during her first trial. He'd asked her to rip out his heart and see, measure the truth of his feelings for her.
She'd dismissed him. Broken him over and over again. He'd been patient, he'd been trusting, he'd always been more than she had deserved. She'd driven him to the end of his patience, refusing to see anything beyond her unquestionable loyalty to Durga.
She'd driven him to death, simply in seek of peace from her.
The chaos around her fades into a dull hum as Charu shrugs off Masi Ma's consoling hand. She walks away from them on unsteady feet, another monster among the monsters, who saw nothing beyond her own purpose.
He'd come here running from her.
"Tum mujhse yeh paap nahi karwa sakti," he'd told her, his voice had trembled with the weight of it. "I'm not my father - I'm not him! My mother had died knowing that there had never been a single day when he'd been faithful to her, when he'd been true to his vows. His betrayal had killed him. Aur tum! Meri patni ho kar - yeh chahti ho ke main Durga ke saat -" he swallows his own bitterness. "Mare aur Durga ke beech kuch nahi hone wala. Suna tum ne? Kuch nahi. Explain it however you will. Tell her whatever lies you want. I am not going to take part in this dirty game of yours."
"Agar yeh mera haq hai toh main -"
He'd pressed a finger to her mouth, effectively shutting her up. It was not the usual playful gesture she'd remembered from before, no, it was the fury that drove him.
"Haq lene ke liye haq dena bhi pad tha hai," he tells her slowly, allowing his breath to fan over her. "Jab tumne mujhe koi haq diya hi nahi toh tumhara kaisa haq?"
"Tum kya chahte ho Anirban?"
"Let me be!" He tells her wearily. "Mera peecha karna chod do. Nahi aane wala main. Nahi maanne wala. Chale jaao. Aur Agar tumhe meri zindagi main nahi aana hai toh, mere zaamne bhi mat aaya karo. Chale jaao! Chale jaao!"
Had he stood by his word, he'd have lived. But he'd come to save her, despite all the cracks and thorns between them, he'd come when nobody else did, when it was her life that Chumki and her mother had wanted to take.
He'd come and saved her, left her to stew in the realization of her mistakes. She had let it happen thinking her death would have saved all the problems, taken out the obstacle between Durga and her happy ending - Anirban and his conscience - with her gone, nothing would have stopped them.
But she'd forgotten, some cruel fate had bound her life to his, made her his raison d'etre. And he'd taken the doom meant for her, knowingly, purposely, while making certain she remained unscathed in his arms.
"This," he'd said, "is the only possible ending to us. Because I'll never forget. I'll always look for you - in every thought, every pause between thoughts. I'll keep looking over my shoulder, I'll keep coming back until one day, one day, you'll let me stay. Today, you'll let me stay - won't you - Charu?"
A stone in her path makes her stumble and she collapses on her feet.
"Anirban..." it starts as a whisper.
Today, she'll burn the heavens and raise the hell if it meant that he'll stay. That he'll come back.
The futility of it burns her, the loss eats her through. None of these people she'd have died for, none of them loved her as she was - no, being Devi meant something to them, being Roy Chaudhary's daughter meant something to them. Not to him, never to him. And he'd died for her, for Charu. She'd lost him to her own foolishness.
"Anir!"
The cry is torn from her, for every unspoken word that has turned into acid on her tongue, for all the times she could have called out and he'd have just returned to her.
"ANIR...!"
Her hands fist on the dirt, the sand cutting into her skin. Now he no longer heard. No longer looked over his shoulder. No longer came running.
She chokes on that name now, the tears running free, the sobs making her drown on her own follies, it has become a broken chant, the name she'd die calling.
"Anir...Anir...Anir!"
*
They find a new topic for their war of tug soon. Where would she go, to the Roy Chaudharys to be their Devi, newly found or to the Banerjees to be their Bahu, the last link to their departed son.
Charu goes to neither.
In his last ditch attempt to escape the mockery she'd made of their lives Anirban had made a home in Darjeeling, where he'd told her she'd be only welcome if she came to accept their reality.
It is home to him in a way the Banerjee haveli had never been. It feels home to her too, in a way no place had ever done. She doesn't bother to explain why. She doesn't bother to find out. The time stands still there, a soft fire burning in the fireplace, scent of its wood filling the house, an open book with his place marker still in place, his favorite record in the gramophone - as if, her heart clenches painfully at the thought - as if he'd left in a hurry, meaning to come back, as if - he'd walk in any moment.
As if the very house stood on that hope, existing for him to come back, feed that fire, read that book, hum along with that record.
It's a world full of him, world he had wanted to, yearned to share with her. She drowns herself in it now, discovering him a little every day, falling a little deeper in love every day, breaking slowly apart with each day.
Charu wouldn't call it a penance, for Anirban wouldn't have punished her, wouldn't have wished pain upon her even when she'd been cutting him upon on a daily basis. No, it is no punishment. It is learning, in grief and loss she learns how beautiful life could have been, how simple - how joyous. And how shallow and empty it was now.
Who if left, she is cordial to them, but distant. She couldn't see either family without thinking how attached she'd been to them once, the idea of them loving her, that she'd openly ignored the hurt she'd been causing on him, the hurt they'd been causing on him.
She couldn't love them the way he had yearned to be loved, knowing he'd died for it and still did not get an iota from her.
She learns, she works and she wins most of the time. But it never leaves that sweet taste in her mouth which her first victory had given, when he'd been there to take her in his arms and hear her gloat about her achievement.
She never dines with others. The invitations she get she declines them.
Her evenings have a patten, the fire, the book, that soft music of his favorite record. She dines in silence, in her heart she tells him all the little happenings of her day.
She becomes a senior member of the bar. Gets appointed to the bench. Serves a term and steps down when it becomes too much of a stress. The Darjeeling law school seeks her out, it suits her just as well. The youth in her classes inspire her, reminds her of her own hot blooded days. She remembers each student she ever teaches for she tells all about them to him in the evenings.
They make her their first female Dean, an achievement that she knows would have made him happy. His Charu was not just Charu anymore, but senior Counsel Charu; with three books on jurisprudence to her name. She signs her name as Charu Anirban Banerjee, and finds a little solace everytime she sees their names together, entwined in a way they'd never been.
The years go by. She never forgets. She never forgives herself.
When Dadi passes away, Charu is in London, she never manages to come and see the woman in her last days. They never call her when Abhiroop dies, breaking his heart over how his most adored younger son was ruining his name and reputation.
Charu remains by her side during Masi Ma's last days. In her delirium, the woman keeps apologising to her, asking her to forgive her, forget this mistake she'd made, get married again. She tells her nothing, just that she'd married once - and it's enough for a lifetime.
Durga doesn't talk to her for years, furious over what a mockery she'd made of their lives, just like Anirban had warned she would. They make up at Masi Ma's deathbed, become tentative sisters - but never grow as close as they'd once been.
That is another loss she mourns, but not every day, like the living breathing wound on her heart that Anirban had left.
Charu lives through all the losses she'd once thought she wouldn't be able to take. Takes all the separations, deaths, and distances she'd once feared to imagine.
Durga passes away two years after she'd been made Dean of that law school. The winter's been hard on her, her son tells Charu over the phone. Yet, she died happily, after seeing the third of her grandsons being born.
The winter is hard on her too, and she couldn't travel - They do not wait for her.
Finally, half a century later - she's the only living breathing person who'd remember Anirban Banerjee. Who'd seen the way sunlight played with his hair, who'd known that no photograph of him did justice to the way his eyes sparkled with mischief. Who'd known his friendship, his fierce loyalty, his kind heart - his potent love.
The fire still burned, the book was still marked, she puts the record again, the soft notes chasing one another.
"It's just you and me now, Anir," she whispers to the dancing shadows of the firelight. Her voice long grown raspy with the age. "And I'm tired today."
She hums along the tune, takes a mock turn around the room. It's a music of a slow dance, she'd seen the actual performance once in London.
There's a hand on her shoulder, warm and light as it had always been in her dreams. She jerks and whips around, eyes widening in surprise.
"Tum? Yahaan? Kaise?"
The firelight highlights coppers and golds in his hair, brandished the lines of his face in molded fire. His eyes are dark, full of that mischievous spark, his mouth crooked into a sideways grin.
"Kaha tha na tum se - pyaar hoon. Kabhi bhi kahi bhi ho jaata hoon," his grin deepens as he draws her closer, his breath on her face is warm. "Kyun? Tumhe bhi ho gaya na?"
She closes her eyes to a surprised smile, draws in a lung full of that unforgettable scent, beneath her palm his heart beats, her own feels younger by decades - enlivened by some witchcraft.
She doesn't think. She doesn't fight. He reaches over and presses a kiss to her wrinkled brow.
"Haan," she sighs. A woman finally home, a woman finally forgiven. "Haan. Haan."
**
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YELLO!
Aap kaise ho??
u get hugs. Yes I know I'm shorter than u but you are the one being hugged.
Also. Sleep. Please. Sleep. U need your rest.
haye meri ultimate jaan
Main theek hoon, how are you 🫶🏻
i love your hugs please humesha dete rehna 😭😭
and yes I will sleep 😭
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Humesha in your heart but you know it's better to be anon ... I was just searching for some of yall accounts ... I do it every month...but you my stupid stupid friend....you change it so many times istg ....but just take care yeah??? And I hope mrun is good as well...and you know that my insta dm is always and always open for you na?
i love you so so much aise hi muh dikhate Rehan pls even if it's on anon. (creep /j) eeeek I'm sorry i swear iska Maine bohot dino baad change Kiya hai. yes we're all good
hanji I know that I will come over there occasionally to scream 🫶🏻 ilysm you made my day fr
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jaha jaha zindagi ka daaman uski gunjaaish se zyada kheencha , waha waha uski saans chhut gayi ~Gulzar, Bujh gaya tha kyun diya
why do we burden ourselves with the pressure of living a life most of the humankind lives?
we are the writers of our own stories.
murjha gaya phool kyun, pyaar ki becheiniyon me usko seene me daba rakha tha maine, isliye murjha gaya
love may feel right at times, but along with the butterflies it plants inside us, it brings along feelings of insecurity, fear, distress, despair, hopelessness, vulnerability and pain.
love is meant to keep you strong during your rough phases, not to become a hardship itself. We do not allow the flower inside of us to bloom as we are scared to expose it to the environment that surrounds us, and eventually it dies.
kis liye sukhi nadi, baandh baandha tha zarurat ke liye uspar, humesha ke liye rakh lu, isliye sukhi nadi
people find their support in others. They try to hold it close to them, to make sure it doesn’t slip away. But sometimes you are so dependant on someone else, you don’t even realise how burdened or heavy hearted they might feel even though they love you. your dependency and attachment may suck their souls out of them, leaving them confused, hurt, and feeling guilty.
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