#Love Always | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

illuminatedquill · 4 months

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Sabine leaned against the wall, arms crossed, taking in the ambience of her surroundings. The sights and sounds of Capital City were still a soothing sound to her after all these years. Closing her eyes, she soaked in the sounds of children laughing, the banter and light teasing of a young couple nearby, the quiet murmur of officials, senators, and other heads of state from planets whose name she couldn't remember - all of them had come to attend the memorial.

Once upon a time, she would have avoided a crowd just like this. It would have rankled at her senses, even without being attuned to the Force.

But not anymore, however. She had come to the realization long ago that it wasn't the crowds she was avoiding - it was the vibrance contained within them, the sense of life that beat fiercely inside all the individuals encircling her now.

Life was not meant to be avoided. It was meant to be experienced. All of it: from the highest of joys, to the deepest of sorrows.

A tap on her shoulder broke the reverie. She turned to find her oldest daughter, Mira. She was dressed in Jedi robes of sea blue and midnight black, her favorite color pairing. The younger woman brushed a stray curl of dark blue hair from her forehead - a gift from her father - and gave her mother an amused look.

"Thinking deep thoughts?" Mira asked.

Sabine enveloped her in a fierce hug. "Not at all. Just feeling a little bored, waiting for you to show up."

Mira snorted. "I'm sure Dad would love to hear that."

Sabine released her from the hug and gave Mira a stern look. "Your father knew better than to keep me waiting. Anyway, where are your siblings?"

"They'll be here any moment. Traffic is intense, as you know. A lot of people are coming for . . . coming to see Dad."

Sabine caught the quick pause in her daughter's words but didn't say anything.

Pivoting away from the subject of her husband, Sabine asked, "I see you dressed up."

Mira blinked and glanced down at her robes. "These? Not really."

Sabine grinned. "Grabbed the first outfit that wasn't dirty?"

Her daughter flushed. "The Academy's been really busy lately. I haven't had time . . . anyway, I see you didn't dress up at all! What's with that?"

Sabine arched an eyebrow at her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're not wearing your armor! These are your regular civilian clothes."

She shrugged. "I'm not on Mandalore, or doing any official Mand'alor business. I can dress however I want."

Mira waved a hand at the assembled crowd around them. "This is kind of important, Mom."

"I'm seeing your father," Sabine countered. "I don't think he'll mind. He actually liked this outfit, you know. Said it accentuated my figure."

Mira rolled her eyes. "Dad would say that if you were wearing a pile of rags."

She poked her daughter sharply in the chest, annoyed. "And he'd still be right."

"Duchess Wren?"

Sabine turned to find her old friend, Governor Jai Kell, coming towards her. He was dressed in somber tones of gray and green, the colors of his office.

Sabine shushed him. "I'm trying to be discreet here, Jai. No need to use my official title. Don't need the press gawking at the Mand'alor, hogging all the air."

Jai blinked at her, then eased into a familiar, easy-going smile. "Of course, Sabine. My mistake."

He turned to Mira and gave a bow. She returned it in kind. "You keep growing up on me, Mira," he teased. "You'll be taller than your mother soon."

"That was never a hard task to achieve, Governor Kell," the younger Wren replied smugly. "I mean, look at her."

Sabine narrowed her eyes at Mira. "I could sweep the feet out from under you in a heartbeat, kid. Then we'll see who's taller."

Jai chuckled, looking at each of them with an amused expression. "Hard to see who she takes after the most, Sabine."

Mira stuck out a tongue at her mother. Sabine glared at her for a moment, then let it go with a snort. "What brings you over here, Kai? Shouldn't you be rubbing shoulders with the important people?"

The Governor gave her a patient look. "You are one of those important people, Sabine. As a personal friend, and as a head of state."

"Oh. Right."

Mira grinned. "It's the old age, Governor. It's getting to her."

Sabine felt her eye twitch, but held in her annoyance. Something approximating a smile twitched on Jai's face, but his face remained serious as he said, "He's ready for you now."

Mira went silent beside her. Sabine glanced at her daughter, but the younger Wren's face had smoothed into an expressionless mask.

Sabine smoothed down the front of her outfit in a nervous gesture. "How do I look?"

Jai gave her a puzzled expression. "That's what you're wearing? You're not going to get changed?"

Rolling her eyes, Sabine muttered, "Everyone's a critic."

The turbolift ride up to the viewing area was quiet, Sabine noted. Whatever vestiges of humor Mira had shown up with had evaporated quickly.

They reached the top level and stepped out of the turbolift doors. Jai waited silently, standing off to the side, giving the two of them privacy.

Lothal's Wall of Heroes. Sabine's eyes traced the familiar lines and colors, remembering the long days and nights of work that had gone into crafting them. The figures on the mural gazed back at her solemnly, their faces filled with a thousand memories from a time long, long ago. To this day, she still made the yearly trek out here, incognito, to oversee maintenance on the mural. She wanted to ensure that the work never faded from the public eye.

She found the center most face; handsome, strong, with serious blue eyes that, if you looked at from the right angle when the sun was at the perfect height in the sky, seemed to sparkle with a sense of humor.

Sabine stood in front of the image of her late husband, Ezra Bridger.

"Hey, goober," she said. "Long time, no see."

Sabine mentally ran down the list of things she wanted to say.

"Kids are doing fine. Mira's helping out at the new Academy, along with Jonah and Rona. This new girl, Rey, has some interesting ideas for the New Jedi Order. I think you would have really liked her."

"Jacen's doing great. Brand new Jedi Knight. He looks so much like Kanan now, it's crazy. He's out and about, still flying the Ghost, doing solo missions with some of the older Jedi padawans for training. You'd be so proud of him."

"Mandalore's boring now, since no one's trying to kill each other anymore. I guess that's a good thing. I almost miss the old days of how it used to be. Bo would kick me if she heard that though, so that stays between us, cyar'ika."

Sabine blinked away tears. Even after all this time . . . Ezra was one of the few people who could make her cry. He had promised to do his best not to.

You broke your promise, goober, Sabine thought. I forgive you, always, but it still hurts.

There was no body. Nothing to recover. The fire had seen to that. The enemy had come in the dead of night, in an attempt to snuff out the growing light of Luke's new Jedi Order. They almost succeeded - if it were not for the actions of Ezra.

The call had gone out. He had answered, as always. Stood and made his stand against a never-ending army of troopers, until the final evacuation ship had fled to safety.

Sabine closed her eyes, remembering the terrible memories of that night. Ezra's last words to her . . .

She felt her daughter come stand beside her. Opening her eyes, she turned to find tears streaming down the younger Wren's cheeks.

"I don't know how you do it," Mira confessed.

"Do what?"

Mira sniffed. "Not hate the people who did this."

Sabine gently grabbed Mira by the shoulders and turned her so that they were facing each other. She looked into her daughter's eyes: one bright blue and one warm hazel.

"It's not what your father would have wanted," Sabine said gently.

"He would have wanted to stay alive," Mira countered. "He would have wanted to be with us!"

Sabine tightened her grip. "It's not easy, I know. I have my moments. I know what it feels like to let the anger and despair get to you."

Mira looked down at her feet, taking a deep breath. "I know you do. I'm sorry. I just . . . I miss him, so much."

"Hating the people who did this won't bring him back."

"I know."

She hugged her daughter. "I miss him, too," she whispered. "Every day."

"When does it stop? The grief? When does it begin to heal?" Mira asked, voice trembling.

"I'll let you know," Sabine replied. "But, for me, it gets easier when I see you and your siblings. I see your father in all of you."

"Sometimes . . . sometimes, I reach out to the Force and - and look for him. Ask for him. I try so hard, Mom. I never hear anything."

Oh, my little girl, Sabine thought. Her heart was shattering, hearing her oldest in so much pain.

"I try some nights, and he never answers back, and it hits me again that he's really gone. Dad's never coming back."

Sabine said quietly, "No one's ever really gone, Mira. Your father's still around, I promise. You're just looking for him in all the wrong places."

"Where is he, then?"

Gently, Sabine led her daughter to the balcony and swept an arm towards the Lothal skyline.

"Listen to the wind and the life of the people below. Listen the scurrying of the loth-cats, and the howling of loth-wolves in the twilight. That's your father, Mira. He's there, if you listen."

Mira cocked her head, listening to the sounds of Lothal. "What's he saying now?"

"He's saying you need to be more respectful towards your mother and to stop making fun of her height," Sabine replied.

That elicited a laugh from the younger Wren. Sabine's heart lifted at the sound. "Okay, sure. Whatever you say, Mom."

Sabine frowned. "What's so funny? You should listen to your father."

"Uh-huh. Of course." Mira looked at her then, and said quietly, "Thanks."

Jai came up behind him. "Sabine, it's time. The guests are waiting below."

She sighed. "Time to go make an appearance, I guess."

"You're really not going to get changed?" asked Mira.

Sabine poked her daughter in the cheek. "What did your father just say?"

"Right. Sorry, Dad."

Heading to the turbolift together, Mira asked, "You never really answered my question, though."

"About the hate?"

"You said that Dad wouldn't want that. What did he say that convinced you to . . ." Mira trailed off, unable to find the words.

"To be better?" Sabine suggested. Her daughter nodded.

Smiling, Sabine reached into her jacket pocket and took out a neatly folded note. She gestured for Mira to take it.

Unfolding it carefully, Mira read the words scribbled there. Her eyes widened with recognition at the handwriting.

Dear Sabine,

Love always

- Ezra

Mira looked up at her mother, eyes wet. Sabine smiled back.

"Love always," Sabine said. "It's a choice, Mira. Never an easy one. But your father did it every day, for all his life."

"He loved you so much," Mira said in awe.

"And you as well, kid," Sabine replied. "Along with your siblings. He knew that all of you were the answer to the hate."

The turbolift doors began to close. Sabine looked out at the mural one last time and waved good-bye to the image of Ezra. Mira followed suit.

A cool breeze suddenly swept through the mural room, filling the turbolift with the bright scents of Lothal. Sabine could feel it brush against her, almost feeling like an invisible hand affectionately running through her hair.

Mira stared at her. "Was that what I think it was?"

Sabine looked at Mira. "Listen to your heart, Mira. What does it say?"

Mira looked down at the folded note. "Love always," she murmured.

She nodded at her daughter. "Love always," she agreed.

Jai coughed politely behind them. "You know, Sabine, it's supposed to be getting colder tonight. There's still time for you to - "

"Jai. I will cause an interplanetary incident in front of everyone if you bring up my choice of attire one more time."

Mira laughed, a lovely twinkling sound that reminded her so much of Ezra. Sabine grinned and reached out to take her eldest daughter's hand.

I see you, goober.

Love you always.

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