#Loop is the kind of character I wanna put in a little rat maze and watch them run around with a clipboard and cheap looking pen

[bowlofr1ce]

AU where Loop really does kill and take Siffrin’s place at the end of the game. They immediately regret it but the deed has been done. They continue traveling masquerading as their old self. Well, no, technically it’s not their old self. It wasn’t Loop that survived and escaped the time loop. It wasn’t Loop whom Stardust’s family members loved and cherished.

“You were Siffrin. Emphasis on WERE. That doesn’t mean that you are now. Which is funny! You have all the Siffrin qualities. The affinity for jokes and puns, the skill with a knife and silence in movement, and you’re still allergic to pineapples (you think you should tell the party members that…). But despite all this, you’re NOT Siffrin. Not anymore.”

The guilt will continue to eat away at Loop as they continue their performance as someone who they were, now someone who they are not.

“Let’s be honest. You really did want to kill stardust. Felt like with a snap of a finger and they magically get everything they’ve ever wanted! To escape the loops! To continue traveling with their family! TO ROB YOU OF THE PERFECT ENDING YOU BLINDING DESERVED. You thought this was a great idea! It’s not like you can go back to your family—if you can even call them that. So you’ll just take stardust’s!!

It’s not like they’ll notice after all, you’re Siffrin! You just need to take their place. Like an understudy taking the lead role. Except it feels a lot more like they were the understudy and they were outshining you. Which frustrated you to an extent. “What a perfect plan!” You thought! “There’s absolutely no way replacing a beloved family member with yourself could go wrong!!” You thought!!!! Acting weird? It’s a side effect of the loops! If they ask something? You know the answer! You experienced it first and second hand after all!!!!!!!

So WHY

WHY DOES IT FEEL SO WRONG?!

It was flawless, and yet every day you wake up you feel like ripping something out of your body! Wait- no. Not your body. Stardust’s body. Stars, you hate it when your brain corrects itself like that. You wish you can just simply just forget about stardust, and be the rightful Siffrin who deserves their place. You went through everything first after all!!! This Siffrin wouldn’t have gotten through it at all if it weren’t for you!! You need to keep up the act to keep your rightful reward, you NEED TO.

It’s getting bad. The researcher has already interrogated you a couple times. And the fighter has started to suspect something is very wrong. Thankfully the housemaiden and kid hasn’t noticed anything yet. Or at least you don’t think so. What would happen if everyone found out about you? That you’re not really Siffrin. That you’re not THEIR Siffrin. They’d probably push you away. And then you’re back to being lonely old Loop with no one to talk to!!!

If that happens when WHAT WAS THE BLINDING POINT OF IT ALL?! Killing stardust and then going on a little game of pretend only for the theater to crumble down to the ground in the end. It just really makes you think.

Was this the right decision?

Was this the right decision?

WAS THIS THE RIGHT DECISION?!”