#Logan thinks wade is stupid

[raz0rvampire]

Casual is the Honda odyssey theme song but can i also present red wine supernova too

[ratsonfire]

I never thought a Honda Odyssey could be so homoerotic

[brainrotcharacters]

I feel as if I'm the only one who caught it, so

Adamantium katanas. I need you to hear me. Adamantium katanas.

There's something so 🏳️‍🌈nice🏳️‍🌈 about how it's the one material Logan has known for his entire mutation... And it's actively being wielded now, by a similarly skilled dual wielder mwah ily Wade, with the intention of severely harming Logan. Debilitating injury is the next best thing to guaranteed death, and they're both flattered that the other is trying so determinedly to kill them. Like awwww baby!

And and anddddddddd 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 the balance of how Wade has more range with his adamantium but Logan has more power/experience with his. What good is Wade's speed and agility when Logan can read every single fucking one of his moves?

Logan realistically missed some but I'm tryna make the old man sound cool here. Let me have this.

Correct me if I'm wrong, there's a total of one (1) other opponent who has adamantium. That badass lady with the cracking fingers in x2. That's one (1) other experience where Logan knows what adamantium feels like when it's used against you.

This fight was another nail in the coffin of the fact that Wade and Logan are either complementary or just straight HAHA equals.

Something Logan has intimately known, in the use of someone he hasn't intimately known yet. That Honda hatefuck was the climax in more ways than one sorry.

[ramblingautisticman]

I love the Logan-stabbing-Wade-during-a-nightmare-trope as much as anyone else, but I also think Logan would actively avoid anything that could cause that to happen.

When Wade says that they will be sharing a bed, Logan's eyes widen, looking over at the small couch. They would be close- pressed against each other- and even if Wade will heal from being stabbed in the chest, he doesn't want to hurt him.

It's different if they are fighting or something, but because of a shitty nightmare? Logan wasn't okay with hurting Wade in that way. He had already grown too fond of the other (not that he would say that too Wade yet, they had only just saved the world, give him at least a few days to verbalise any emotion) and the fact he might injure Wade when he isn't consenting (let's be real, they both wanted the previous fights), he isn't doing it.

He politely says he will sleep on the floor, and as much as Wade protests, he still does as he said. Logan gets given a blanket and some pillows, throws them on the floor under the window, and lays down to try and sleep.

Even then, he can't get the idea out of his head. Rogue hadn't been sleeping next to him, and he still managed to stab her, what would be different with Wade?

But he manages to push the thought away and fall asleep. And yeah, he does have his usual nightmare, but he manages to not stab anyone (or anything- atleast nothing important) and he doesn't see any sign of anyone waking up, which he takes as a win.

The second night is the same. And the third.

It isn't until a good month later that Logan trusts himself to even nap on the couch with Wade sat next to him, but he slowly manages to build himself up to that, and after another month, the idea of sleep next to Wade isn't so bad. His nightmares were alittle less intense and his claws were coming out less, but he still doesn't say yes to the invitations (every night, ever since the first, Wade has invited him to sleep in the bed with a promise of keeping his hands to himself) because there is still that chance, and Logan can't take it. Especially not now he is attached to Wade.

Eventually, when they all move out into a slightly bigger place, there is an option to share a room (Al gets her own, she told Wade and Logan to either share it, or one of them was sleeping on the couch, and if they fought then noone got the room). Not a bed, just a room- and to Wade's suprise- Logan takes it. Their beds are at either side of the room, as far apart as they can be, but this is a good step for Logan. They are still closer than they were in the old place (this one is still small, just has another room) and slowly Logan finds that he feels alot better sleeping in the bedroom. It feels safer and before he knows it, he has gone a week with no nightmare.

It's only a good three months into dating Logan decides that maybe they can share a bed. Wade hasn't pushed him once- he had actually opened up about the whole thing without much prompting, wanting to make sure Wade knew it wasn't anything to do with him of the way he looked (because he kne Wade would think that eventually)- and he had been very understanding of it.

So one night, when they both decide to head to bed, Logan hovers for a second and shyly asks if maybe Wade wants to cuddle tonight, and before he knows it Wade is jumping into his bed with a huge smile on his face with his arms open and waiting.

That's somehow making him feel better and worse- because now if he somehow has a nightmare then Wade's happiness about sharing a bed is going to be all he thinks about after- but he swallows the anxiety and crawls into the bed, cuddling up to Wade's chest with a small sigh.

Wade obviously can tell he's anxious, and is quick to rub soothing circles on his back and whisper that everything is okay, makes a few jokes about how he likes getting stabbed, then kisses his forehead and tells him to get some sleep.

And for the first time in years, Logan feels calm and safe enough to do just that, fall asleep with someone else right there.

Yes- he wakes up in the middle of the night in a panic purely because he thinks what if he had stabbed Wade?- but he hasn't. There is no blood. Nothing indicating injury. Wade is still sound asleep with his arms draped over Logan, no wound visible, no holes in his Hello Kitty night shirt.

He can't help but sigh in relief as he realises that everything is fine, and quickly manages to fall back asleep, waking up a few hours later to Wade burying himself closer to his chest.

It feels wierd. Someone trusts him enough to sleep so close to him, and he feels safe enough to sleep so close to someone, but it also feels good. Feels nice. Feels like progress. And even if it's something small, even if it's just cuddling in the same bed as his boyfriend, it's progress. Logan couldn't be happier.

[iwasbored777]

I wanna know what's going on in the heads of everyone who watched Deadpool & Wolverine and think that the movie wasn't gay. Did you even watch the right movie?

[bougiebutchbinch]

im on the app thats like the freaky version of character ai and i just completely turned logan submissive on accident🧍‍♀️(i fw it though‼️)

skljgdsfgs listen my logan is 9 times out of 10 the dommy stone!top to wade's pillow princess

but

but

there's something really yummy about service top Logan who needs to be told he's doing a good job and have Wade stroke his hair while Logan's eating him out 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

DON'T LOOK AT MEEEE

[lachiennearoo]

Maybe I'm just so autistic that I don't get that everyone is just joking but...

It kinda scares me how many people genuinely believe Deadpool and Wolverine had sex in Deadpool 3, and didn't realize it was a joke made to spoof sex scenes that was done because in that moment they absolutely HATED each other and only wanted to murder each other.

Like... Where did the media literacy go? Did it get snatched by the TVA with Wade's wig or something??

[beetlehoven]

okay this is undeniably poolverine . their infecting my brain lately its unhealthy

i didn't want to draw pancakes

[icarusredwings]

omg can you please do kid Wade with Tangled that movie is my life

Also if I'm allowed to suggest smth non-Disney what about How to Train Your Dragon? 🥺

Tangled is my wifes favorite movie, so im biased about this one, but I think he would have a crush on Flynn. Not because Repunzel isn't pretty but he sees himself as a pretty princess and he can't really explain it properly when he's 4-6 but at 8 he tries his hardest to explain that the castle is like his bad days and how bad he feels about himself, the mother is the voices that tell him bad things, even when small (its why he has to be supervised at almost all times- except bath time but there has been an incident where that privilege was taken) of course Flynn is who ever hes having a crush on at the moment. He has squealed and pointed at the tv for Logan to "See how he looks at 'punzel" many many times. Every time they watch this movie he will get into his cheap and semi ripped up princess costume and will sit infront of the tv, flapping his hands almost the whole time.

It's one of the movies that yappy 8 can have on and still pay attention without getting too horrible. If you give him his stuffies, a cuppy, and just sit him there with the volume up a bit he will stay the entire movie.

As for HTTYD he's a bit young for that most times, and what I mean by that is he thinks the dragons are cool yes but he doesn't quite pick up the lore? 8 wade can just a tad. The jist anyway. But he's not really into it *into* it. I feel like he'd watch it as an adult and finally understand what the heck was happening.

[fauxfabgator]

Deadpool and Wolverine was not the best movie to take my 60 year old father

[brainrotcharacters]

Crumbs! CRUMBS!!!!!!

AND WADE!!!!! ALWAYS GIVES IN HEAPS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stop with the "Wade fell first" lies. Logan falls so damn fast and so hard. He fell for Jean almost immediately. He still loved Kayla, even after he found out she had tricked him. The moment Jean (or rather Mystique or Phoenix) kissed him, he jumped at the chance, didn't question anything, just kissed back. Even though he knew she loved Scott, not him. This man is unhinged and will take crumbs.

[marksbear2]

can i request smut if either deadpool or wolverine (or both if you're feeling 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂)

just saw the new movie good god i almost popped a boner watching them fight

😔 I have yet to watch the movie but I love both characters especially my man Logan. I’ll do smut headcanons for both characters.

WOLVERINE & DEADPOOL X MALE READER

⚠️BOTH TOP AND BOTTOM READER— pure smut, both Logan and wade are switches, riding, blowjob, overstimulated, orgasm torture. And more⚠️

— Logan is very serious and like almost brooding type of guy during sex while Wade is probably talking your ear off.

— Wade watches you two fuck and he wont stop making comments and tries to talk you through it.

— Logan eating your hole out while Wade is making out with you touching and pinching your nipples or he’s jerking both of your cocks off.

— Wade and you taking turns fucking Logan, Logan is less but still on his guard and doesn’t have his walls up for you while you’re inside him.

— You and Wade being absolutely horny like rabbits while, Logan swears that he’s dating literal idiots.

— Logan trying not to his annoyance show while you and wade are cracking up jokes and laughing. He thinks to himself as to why the hell he’s here in the first place.

— The two of them having a preference of either sometimes listening to music or pure silence. Wade usually needs the background noise.

— The both of them taking turns on sucking you off, they get so smug seeing you overstimulated. By the end of it you’re a quivering mess.

— Both men can last long in bed so you’re pretty much exhausted after it all.

— Wade and Logan will be arguing and fighting over something stupid while your there fingering Logan prepping him while you sneakily instigate the argument.

— Logan covering Wade’s mouth, holding his mouth shut while your fucking Wade so hard and deep. The sounds of Wade’s muffled moans, and skin slapping against one another fills the room.

— Wade is 100% freaky, he’ll be the type of guy to have Logan’s cum in his mouth and kiss you.

— You and Logan spiltroasting Wade.

— You guys bickering about who’s gonna be the top of bottom for the night. But honestly doesn’t care which one he would be.

— Both are very vocal during bed, Logan will be letting out deep grunts and groans while Wade would be moaning his ear off or just talking way to much.

—Both of them fucking you while they’re still in their hero costumes. They’ll be covered in bruises or dirt and they’ll be relentless with you.

— But if they’re in too much pain you’ll all just jerk one another off.

— Logan would be bitting and marking both of you and wade’s bodies.

— The two still arguing while you’re still riding wade’s cock, they stop arguing hearing you moan and your body starts trembling as you cum. The both of them completely forgetting about the argument and focused on you.

— Both of them taking turns eating your hole out, or sometimes both of them stretching you out with both of their tongues.

— Logan walking in seeing you fucking Wade while wearing his own Deadpool mask and suit.

— The two of them prepping themselves waiting for you to get home.

— Logan holding Wade’s legs open for you could fuck him as fast and hard as you want.

— Both men are a bit impatient when it comes to sex, so you’ll tease and edge them.

— Wade can definitely take the both of you, at the same time.

— Both men being on their knee's licking and sucking your cock off. There tongues going up and down on your cock both flicking their tongues on your cock.

— Logan likes to tear and rip off both of you and Wade clothes off if he’s feeling very needy and impatient.

THE END

[sunsburns]

okay but logan taking an interest in neighbor who works in fashion?? he always sees her carrying stacks of magazines, dressed in her chic attire that is sometimes a bit too tight in all the right areas, glasses slipping off her nose, always making calls on that damn phone, and yet he always wishes she looked his way…

oh anon ur cooking here. i think this is what's pulling me out of my writing slump 🥴 (wade breaking the fourth wall, suggestive 16+)

the first time he noticed you, it wasn't even in your building complex, but rather the stairs to the subway station down the street. you were rushing up the steps while he, wade, laura and al were just about to enter. it was al who noticed you first, calling out your name and poking your side with her walking staff.

you shrieked, dropping one of the fabric rolls you had been carrying, a curse at the tip of your tongue before you realized who it was. "al," you sighed, a little relieved, when you saw her and wade, who was dressed in a "i love nyc" t-shirt.

logan, being the gentleman he was, picked up the roll you dropped, handing it back to you. it was then that you looked at him, or well, briefly glanced his way with a quick "thank you" before wade started fucking talking.

that son of a bitch.

he didn't even have the courtesy to introduce the two of you to each other.

it was obvious you were in a rush, lips in a tight smile as you nodded and tried to smile at wade telling you all about how they were about to "hit up" times square.

logan felt bad for you, but only a little bit. the longer you stayed to listen to wade's painful monologue, the more he could look at you. he was a little shameless about it, perhaps not the most gentlemanly thing he could've done, but god you were just a sight for sore eyes.

a pretty thing in a mini skirt despite the cool late september breeze that was starting to kick, white, lace and ruffled. delicate with tall brown leather boots. and a washed-out denim vest you wore as a top, two buttons undone, a little pink bow tied to the pocket. logan didn't know a lot about fashion, but he liked the way clothes looked on you.

and then you were gone, al kicking wade across the shin to shut him the hell up when she realized you were in a rush. she let you go, and you left, quickly trading numbers with laura and without saying much of a goodbye or another glance logan's way.

but he watched you go, watched the way your skirt moved with the wind too.

"yeah, look at it bounce. god, i am no better than any man. " wade hummed, leaning all his weight on logan's side. "i didn't peg you as a creep, honey badger. with the way you were undressing the reader with your eyes, i would've thought you were on a registered sex offender's list."

"shut the fuck up, wade."

logan could hear the way laura snorted, her and al continuing their way down the stairs.

wade held his hands up in surrender before logan could try anything (and by anything, he meant to cut him to pieces. wade can't deal with that right now, the blood would take ages to get off his white shirt). "i'm just saying, after living with us for a few months, i would've thought you'd met her by now."

logan raised his brow, "what's that supposed to mean?"

"i mean, she literally lives across the hall." wade turned his head to the side, pointing his thumb at logan, "he can't possibly be this stupid, right? it's gotta be for the plot to build up tension or something."

from that day on, logan's started to notice you more. not that he was looking for you, he's not that big of a creep. but he's spotted you out the window some days, running down the sidewalk, always in a rush. then he was able to hear the way you slam your door shut when you leave in the mornings or when you get back home.

every single day, you're usually out and about. unless it's a sunday, those are the days you stay in your apartment, sewing and hanging out with blind old al and sometimes even fucking laura. turns out, you were the one who got laura all of those new clothes, made them for her.

jesus christ, how out of the loop was he?

you stood out like a sore thumb, always carrying something. whether it be magazines, sketchbooks, fabric rolls, or bags, you're always struggling to open your door when you get home, keys sometimes slipping from your grasp as you're trying to juggle everything.

one day, logan had come back from a run and spotted you in the hallway. well, he had heard you from floors below and was able to pick up the lingering scent of your perfume by the time he entered the lobby. it took him a bit of courage to walk up the few flights of stairs knowing he'd bump into you.

what the fuck was this?

he was a grown-ass man for god's sake. you had him overthinking and blushing at the mere thought of being in the same space again.

when he saw you in the hallway, you were on the phone, the device tucked between your ear and your shoulder, cursing under your breath as you tried to pick up your keys. you were wearing a black dress that day, a black hat and a big maroon scarf around your neck, "no, emily, don't fucking buy it in that colour. it looks like fucking vomit. i don't care what amy told you, she's basically colour blind-"

you stopped mid-sentence when logan appeared in front of you, grabbing the keys for you. "oh- uh. thanks."

"yeah, no problem."

he noticed your nails and glasses were dark red to match the scarf. lipstick too.

you didn't mean to grow flustered in his presence, he could tell from the way you froze, as if you didn't know what was supposed to happen next. he had disrupted your daily pattern, everything in your life moving constantly and quickly but all of a sudden everything is slower. it left you breathless.

"you're logan, right?"

he furrowed his brows. he hadn't expected you to remember him, nevertheless, remember his name. "yeah."

"wade told me all about you," you said, and your eyes dropped from his face a little, then lower, a smirk not too different from a sly cat's. you were staring shamelessly, eyes following every part and curve of his body, the way his long-sleeve shirt clung to his skin with sweat. "you don't seem austrailan."

logan tried not to groan. the picture of wade's stupid face in his mind now that you've mentioned him. he hated that the two of you seemed close. "i'm canadian."

"aren't you full of surprises?" you laughed, a smooth, teasing sound, and finally pushed the keys into the nob, unlocking the door. you turned, lingering by the door as if you were about to invite him in, but then the voice from your phone was trying to get your attention and you nearly seemed disappointed. "i'll see you around, logan."

and you were gone again.

logan liked to see your different outfits every day, dawning a different style every time you walked out that door. it was like you could never settle for one style, but you managed to look so fucking good in everything and every colour you put on.

he could never get tired of it. never get tired of you.

you and your tiny bottoms that he swore were getting smaller and smaller every day, even though the city grew colder and the days shorter. you and your stupid phone calls that sometimes went on late at night. you and your clothes, every single one different from the last.

you and your sketches, the ones he had started to find loose pages on the floor of the small hallway between your apartments, pretty designs of lingerie on a model that looked a little bit too much like you for it to be a coincidence.

though you never made another attempt to talk to him, you knew he was watching you. but you never chased, your heels were too expensive for that. you were just trying to give him a reason to come on you.

to you**

to come to you.*

sorry. typo.

[brainrotcharacters]

I was waiting for time and the headspace to talk about Cassandra, actually.

@buriedintheguts my beloved is an enabler now

"What about your Charles? Did he protect you? Did he make you feel safe?!" That's not the intonation of a villain. That's the intonation of a twin sister who is bitter that someone else had gotten to know her brother, HER brother, and be loved by her brother the way she never was.

Remember when Deadpool was restraining her? "Why are you like this?" "I wish I knew!" Speaks for itself. She has settled in into the role of the villain where normal is easy; normal is being cruel and not caring why and it's threatening two self regenerating mutants when Juggernaut's helmet is neutralizing your psychic abilities and there's bullets in your sternum.

Normal is easy. Leaving the Void to meet the brother she's only ever known as a fetus is not normal. It's a change. When you're a telepath that 'knows everything' and everything comes easy to you because of it, a change that big can terrify you into a decision paralysis. Why do you think she didn't push for Logan to take her to Charles? She's clinging to the normal because the unknown is terrifying.

Cassandra, there's a childish selfishness to her that is possibly the result of being the most powerful telepath in a wasteland, when that wasteland is all she's ever known. "Wakey wakey!" Is not something you say to a subordinate who shot bullets into your stomach, you know. Not unless you're comfortable and confident that you'll still get them under control when all is said and done. She's a child in the sense that her environment and her abilities defaulted her into a rank where she never had to work for anything because everyone was too afraid to refuse her.

The earliest conscious memory she has is trying to strangle her twin brother in the womb... And then she was at the Void? That's jarring. That can fuck anyone up. Even, especially, an omega-level telepath.

"My brother loved you." There is a resignation and a realization that stunned me here, shoutout to Emma Corrin for their amazing performance. Their technique on Cassandra's yearning for Charles choked me.

"He loved all of us." "Must be nice." How do you yearn for a person you don't know?

Logan is right in saying Charles would have torn the universe apart to get Cassandra home, and Cassandra didn't need to reach into Logan's mind to guarantee it. But remember what she said in response: "This is my home."

And how does she say it? With finality. She can't change, or she's not interested in sacrificing the power she amassed in the Void without total guarantee that Charles would accept her if she does cross multiverses for him.

She answers with the beginnings of love for her brother if she believed she was capable of feeling such a thing, and if she believed it was worth it to let Charles know that she existed.

I think an overlooked tragedy that I don't see anyone talk about often enough is Cassandra Nova fully believed that her Charles didn't care for her enough to come looking. When, in fact, the truth is that he did not know he had someone (else) to care for.

We have already seen the things he would do for Raven — the extents he would go to for her, just to make sure that she was safe and happy and okay. We have also already seen the things he would do for fellow mutants, especially his X-Men. So, we know without a doubt, the kind of person Charles Xavier is.

So, there is no reason for Charles not to care for Cassandra unless ... he didn't know. Which, we can deduce, he didn't. Because if he did, it would be as Logan said — He would tear apart the universe to get to her, to get her home.

And it is such a sad and sickening thing to see what happened to the two of them. In another lifetime, perhaps the TVA would not have cut her off so quickly, and they would have been able to grow up side by side and grow into strong people together.

But in this one, Charles will never know his sister, and Cassandra will continue to resent her brother.

[darnell-la]

how about old!logan with the filthiest mouth one could ever speak, full with nasty and degrading pet names. just rough and mean logan treating the reader 🫠🫠

note: this takes place in the Honda Odyssey… we can make the man filthier by the way…

———

“Well, you guys are fucking stupid, so, it’s not a surprise we’re lost,” y/n crossed her arms in the back seat as Wade drove through the woods, trying to get to the place Nicepool had me roomed for them to form a team.

“You ain’t the smartest sheep either. Batting your fuckin’ eyelids at Jonny,” Logan scoffed next to her before leaning back in his to rest.

After Wade had told him that there might not be a way to save his world, he’s been in a bad mood. Ever since she met him, he’s been in a bad mood.

“Yeah, but sadly he’s not here with us, right Wade?” Y/n sarcastically asked, making Wade sigh loudly. “He should have said those things about her!” Wade shouted.

“This whole trip is fucking ridiculous. Like seriously, Wade. Why the fuck did you bring me along to save this drunk fuck!?” Y/n complained, making Logan chuckle.

“To save your shitty world,” Logan said under his breath. “Hey! That’s my world too!” Wade argued. “Yeah — That’s why I said that shit,”

“Not like yours is better,” y/n mumbled, making Logan snap his head towards her. Y/n continued looking out of the window, not caring how he felt about her words.

“The fuck you say?” The man asked in a clearly angry tone. “Alright, let’s just cool our dicks and think about a place to eat at after we get out of this shit hole, hm?” Wade asked the two, but they both ignored him.

“Nah, I wanna hear what the little bitch has to say,” Logan called the young lady out of her name, making her snap his own neck at him. “Bitch!? No wonder you could never keep a woman. In every universe!” She shot for his heart.

“That’s something you don’t have to worry about because Ian pickin’ a little brat like you,” Logan tried saying something back in an instant like her comment didn’t hurt. He knew calling her out of her name was shitty, but he’s going through it right now.

The man was pulled from his universe being told he had a chance to save it. Not even two hours later, he was told it was an educated wish.

“Not like you can get in my pants anyways limp dick,” y/n spat, making the man chuckle. He was cocky. He always has been, and his age wasn’t going to throw that away.

“You’re an easy little girl. You would even be able to handle me,” the man looked the girl up and down, giving a look that made her roll her eyes. “You fuckin’ wish,” she said before turning back to the window.

“Oh, honey bun, he does! Maybe y’all can fuck it out in here before we make it home. Got a long way to go,” Wade almost sang.

The two went silent, not declining or accepting. They were just angry, and Wade swore having a small fuck-session would help.

Y/n felt eyes on her through the silence. She told herself not to look back, but she had to. She wanted to see the man’s face, and god, was he fine. She hated admitting to it, but he was.

The way he looked at her legs, made her shift in her seat, growing nervous from the older man’s gaze.

“As I said — Little girl can’t handle it,” Logan finally looked up at the girl with a smirk, smelling the way she grew wet in seconds, and she didn’t know he could. She was clueless which made the situation funnier to him.

“I can handle more than you think. Your dick probably wouldn’t be able to stand up anyway, so stop lookin’ at me like that you perv,” y/n tried covering her legs, but there was no use.

“Oh, go fuck yourself,” the man rolled his eyes as he leaned back in his seat. “Do it yourself, coward,” y/n said under her breath. She thought she was quiet enough until his head snapped back at her and Wade gasped.

“Oh, you nasty little peanut,” Wade giggled. “Oh, you want me to fuck you?” Logan asked, giving that stupid smirk again. “What!? I never said that,” y/n lied, trying to think of something to stop this conversation.

“Oh, but you did, bub,” Logan felt like he was shifting closer, but y/n kept her eyes off of him. “Don’t go silent on me now, bub. If you need a little cock to fix that attitude, I can do it,”

The instant confidence he had, made the girl nervous. What the fuck is she going to do?

“Don’t need cock,” the girl spoke quietly. “I think you do,” the man’s hand was now on the grips thighs, gripping it a bit rough to get a reaction.

Y/n turned and swung, going to hit the man somewhere, but he got her fist and pushed it away before hovering over her body.

“You’re feisty for a girl who’s soaking wet,” the man said, confusing y/n. “You can smell her that bad!?” Wade asked, wanting to know if all. “Oh, yeah, and she smells sweet,” Logan admitted as his hands tugged on her belt.

“Let’s see if I’m right,” Logan ripped y/n’s belt off and shorts down her legs, exposing her pretty lace panties. “Logan! Fuckin’ get off!” Y/n fought back, but he knew she could do better.

“You sure? Kinda looks a little messy down here,” the man laughed at her girl as he spews her legs, seeing the dark spot grow. Before she could say another word, he ripped her panties off, making her yell at him more.

“Pretty little cunt. Maybe if you weren’t so bitchy, I’d eat it, but I have different plans for you today,” Logan wiped a finger across her lips before taking them to his mouth to suck.

“Yep — Sweeter than peach, Wade. Didn’t know you had sluts as friends,” Logan laughed again as he fumbled with his own belt. “Logan!” Y/n still shouted, kicking and slapping but he had his single hand pinning her shoulder down.

“Look on the bright side, peanut — You’ll get some dick and maybe that’ll energize you for our fight?” Wade said about anything to hide the fact he loved hearing Logan get the way he gets.

“Fuck you, Wade!” Y/n yelled at the man. “Nah uh, only I do that to you,” y/n almost forgot about Logan until she looked down, seeing his cock out in his head, stoking and leaking pre cum.

“Got me so fuckin’ hard. You know how good you look fighting? How pretty you are yappin’ that damn mouth? Could only think about you under me -- where you belong,”

Logan struggled but made his way in between her legs. “Fuck you! Fuck you, a-and Wade! You’ll last two seconds,” y/n tried laughing at the man to seem tough as usual, but he shut her right up with a hard thrust into her cunt.

“What was that? Two seconds? If I lasted a short time, it’s because this cunts so fuckin’ soaked, not because I’m old, baby,”

Y/n’s hands pushed at the man’s stomach, trying to slow him down and stop him from pushing hitting the right spot with each thrust he gave.

“S-Stop!” The girl whined already, feeling the knot in her stomach build and her breathing get spotty. He was huge and hard. Harder than she thought a man his age could be.

“Don’t think you want that, baby. No, you want me to fuck this pretty little girl till she cried and leaks on the seat,” Logan whispered in her ear as his own breath became heavy.

“God, you guys are hot. Love the play date you guys are having! Maybe give me a review after the Uber ride. Tell me if the seats felt comfy and if y’all had enough room to fuck like rabbits with rabies,” Wade seemed excited.

“Hear that, babe? Gonna tell Wade how good I fuck this pussy? C’mon, tell him. Tell him how hard your squeeze my cock,”

Y/n hated his cock voice in her ear but loved it at the same time. He knew exactly how she’d like it. Maybe by her attitude, he knew she needed someone with the same energy to pound her.

“No c-chance,” the girl stuttered through her teeth as she tried glaring at the man, but her head instantly fell back after he gave one small pound, telling her to get rid of the attitude.

“You’re gonna do it eventually. Sluts like you can’t forget a good cock,” and he was right. This was going to be the best sed she’s had ever.

“Gonna go beggin’ Wade to come get me to fuck you. Shit, since I have to stay in the bullshit you call your world, I’ll just come over to your place myself. Burry my cock in this cunt till you pass out,”

“L-Logan,” y/n dug her nails into the man’s shoulders, trying to hold tight as her orgasm felt near. “Oh, you like that? Like the thought of a dirty old man fuckin’ this so-called clean pussy, hm? Gonna let me breed this little princess whenever I want? Even if I piss you off?”

“N-No, you fucking suck at this!” Y/n breathed heavily, keeping her orgasm together so she wouldn’t give him what she wanted.

“God, she’s fuckin’ petty,” Wade said as Logan let out a little chuckle. The man shifted in the van, lifting her legs over his shoulders before punching his right claw into the roof of the van.

Y/n jumped, not used to having a mutant like him around. “Don’t worry, princess. I wouldn’t hurt a pretty girl like you. Too valuable and tight,” Logan grabbed between the back of y/n’s head and neck to lift her to, fixing her to lean into him.

“Before I fuck you ass dumb, do you want to take anything you said back?” Logan looked down at the girl whose legs rested on his shoulder and cock grazed her entrance, waiting to be squeezed again.

“You fuck like a dead pig,” y/n spat. Right after, the man took one good slam into her, watching her legs part and scream. Logan pulled her head back up, making her look into his dark eyes.

“Loudmouth for a loud screamer,” the man smirked before moving his hips, thrusting into the girl with all the strength he had. He pulled her back to life whenever she tried pushing away or leaning her head back.

“Good fuckin’ pussy — Fuck! — Maybe I’ll excuse that bitch tone of yours,” the man couldn’t deny his could she felt and sounded.

Before, y/n thought she could hold herself in, but she knew Logan would get what he wanted in this new angle and harder pounding. He knew this from the start.

“C’mon, bub — I know you wanna cum. Keep squeezing around me like I wouldn’t notice,” he laughed at her. Teasing he. “N-Not cumming,” y/n assured the man, but even Wade didn’t believe her.

“I can see how the man has you in a full-on butter-salted pretzel position. You’re cumming, peanut,” Wade said, only egging Logan on knowing anyone who looked at her right now could tell she was close.

“No, I’m not!” Y/n pathetically whined. Logan leaned down to the girl's face, slightly touching her lips as his hot breath burned her nostrils.

“Don’t cum then, bub,” Logan said as he picked up his pace. “Don’t cum, and you win. You win your little bitch fight, and we can move on with our day,” Logan kept increasing.

“Don’t cum, and you’re right about my limp old dick,” Logan now growled. “Don’t cum, and I won’t come into your little home and eat that pussy,” y/n eyes rolled back as his hands dug into the back of her neck.

“Don’t cum, and I won’t fuck you like this every day to satisfy your needs, baby. Don’t cum, and I’ll have to leave this pretty little body alone forever,”

“Can’t breed it. Can’t kiss it. Can’t pound it. Can’t do anything I want to it,” y/n whined loudly at the man’s words, finally releasing the man’s cock.

“That’s what I fuckin’ thought. You need me. You fuckin’ want this old dick,” Logan’s lips crashed into her, kissing her roughly as she cried at the pace he kept ducking her in.

“Goddam, she cums a lot!” Wade said with excitement, loving the animal coming out of Logan. He knew y/n needed something like this in his life. That totally isn’t the reason why he brought her along.

“So fuckin’ good, baby. Best fuckin’ cunt I’ve fucked. So damn tight and sweet. Need you after all this. Needa have you with me forever,”

Y/n didn’t plan for this to happen. She doesn’t plan to let Logan fuck her like this in the back of Nicepools Honda Odyssey. She didn’t plan for Logan to form an attachment issue with her.

“Gonna cum, baby. Gonna fill this girl up. Gonna keep you with me forever. Can’t leave. Don’t care how old I am, you belong with me. You’re made for me. Pussy’s molded to only take my cock,”

Logan’s hips bucked a few times before he pushed all the way into the young girl, spilling into her with a loud animalistic groan.

The top of the roof was ripped with how many times his claws punched in and out of it. Logan’s fingers bruised the back of y/n’s neck. Her lips even have a small scratch from the hard he kissed. She tastes so fucking good.

[slamminslamminmcgill]

aaaaaaa i need poly deadclaws smoke session 🥺😵‍💫💖 you and wade being cringy stoners ripping wade's gravity bong together and logan walks in on you sitting in his lap on the couch.

"hey, honey badger, welcome home! aw, poor baby, you look so tired! you wanna hit?"

"the fuck are you two doing?"

“it’s called a gravity bong! a hallmark of stoner engineering! would you like a demonstration?”

"no."

“too bad.” wade puts the lighter in your hands, then squeezes them for encouragement. “show him, babes, just like i taught ya.”

you spark the lighter and carefully angle it into the bowl at the top. once it's lit, you grab the inner bottle and slooowly pull it upwards out of the water. the cloud inside it grows thicker, denser, bigger. it swells with the accompanying sounds of water underneath it. glug. glug. glug.

wade explains the mechanics to logan, “now THAT, boo boo bear, is about 2-liters of toke-a-cola right there. almost as fun as when they had cocaine in the recipe.” wade sneaks his hands under your baggy lounge shirt to pinch and pull your nipples, then gives you an open-mouthed kiss on your neck. he purrs his instructions to you. “chug it, honey-cunt.”

you rip the bowl out of the bottle, the smoke billowing out through the spout, and slurp it up as you sink the bottle down into the water. of course, the torrential cloud you had built was at LEAST 2-player content. you started coughing about a third of the way down, and wade had to take over.

“i got it, i got it!” he proclaimed, valiantly chugging what was left of the cloud. he blew some out and sighed with pleasure. “now… this kind of bong gives you… gives you BIG hits. so you get stupid fast.”

you nod in agreement, a hazy, air-headed smile on your face, “it also feels REALLY good for sex…”

"well, shit, why the hell ain't you lead with that?" logan climbs over the back of the couch and sits down next to you two. "give it here. show me how you work that thing.”

also i just KNOW logan gets giggly when he smokes weed it’s a fact god told me. he’s got cigar lungs so he takes to the gravity bong with surprisingly little coughing, but FUCK it makes him STUPID!!!! he gets super touchy feely too and he’ll prolly crawl on top of both of you.

“nngh, c’mon, lemme…” he grumbles, pawing for the bong that wade holds out of reach, “lemme hit it again…”

“i think the fuck not, babe! you will wait your turn in the rotation just like everyone else, young man!”

logan blows a raspberry at him and flops over to wade’s side. “pfft… bitch…”

“yes, sir, and that’s why you love me.”

he watches longingly as wade takes his rip, until his focus shifts to your shorts riding up on your thighs.

“hey. c’mere, boy.”

he tugs you into his lap and starts making out with you, stripping you from your comfy clothes, grinding his bulge up into your folds. you whimper, under your breath, and logan smirks, teasing you in hushed tones.

“ ‘s good, right?”

“mhm…”

“you gettin’ wet now?”

“mhm!”

once wade blows his smoke out, he notices what’s going on and gasps in mock offense.

“are you two seriously excluding me right now? what am i, ugly, or somethi—? wait, don’t answer that, i—“

“yes.”

“yep. knew that was coming. can’t even blame ya. i set you up for that one. anyway!”

wade pulls you to him by your hair and smooches your cheek affectionately before putting the lighter in your hands again.

“your turn, sweetie pie!”

and by the end of that rotation everyone’s clothes are off and you’re all touching each other’s junk 😌