#Literally don't buy anything today
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trash-panda-paws · 1 year ago
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Hey everyone! With Amazon Prime Day upon us, let's not forget that Amazon is a shitty, predatory monopoly, and you're not actually saving ANYTHING by buying from them on Prime Day. Feel free to add your own comparison photos if you have them!
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friendly reminder that self harm is lying to you
#the worst is when it promises you'll feel better and then you simply. do not. you feel worse and then you want to harm again bc surely that#will make you feel better right? THAT WOULD BE A NO. IT DOES NOT.#anyway today i went to spotlight cause i was sad cause i got the result for my 35% assignment i really struggled with. 32.5%. failure.#and at spotlight i made the foolish error of buying without knowing price. but like who makes a book a normal softcover crochet pattern boo#$55?! anyway it's a lovely book and am excited to try a few of teh patterns but the guilt is eating me alive#and also im super stressed about the assignment i have to turn in on thursday and haven't started#anyway i was literally four and a half hours away from being seven days clean#and i am just so sad right now#and i reopened one of the scars on my wrist too while on shift this morning so that's fun#not badly but it's just gonna mean it scars even more isn't it because of course#i was feeling incredibly awful for some reason i can't even remember and i kinda clawed up my arms. and no i don't count that as#breaking my streak bc it didn't cause much damage#i just. placement is so wonderful but life is so so hard#i don't know i want a hug and the assignment done and everything bad unmade#and the scars i have to look at every day on placement gone.#i want to talk to s but i haven't responded to her last message and i don't know how to respond but i need to respond to that#:((#honestly actually i think i want to talk to aunty. friend's mum. in person. and get a hug. i want a hug.#im just. So Sad. and i want my brother and Ransom and this is not helpinga nd i don't know what would if anything
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blasvemous · 1 year ago
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Retail work on Black Friday... If y'all don't hear from me in 8 hours, I've been trampled by old ladies and over zealous teenagers
This is the vibe I will be providing to my capitalist overlord today:
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@bewilderedbunny in case I don't make it: I love you bitch never forget it shiiiiiyaaaah
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cruelsister-moved2 · 2 years ago
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saw peonies in the park genuinely considered stealing one for my vase realised that would be such a mean thing to do & helped myself to some cow parsley and honesty from a hedgerow instead ^__^
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sherlock-is-ace · 2 years ago
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#i need to do some brain working out to try to get stronger and not overthink things#but i am upset and feeling very anxious rn (:#i came back from the optician (which i was dreading) and just started sobbing#i'm so overwhelmed right now you have no idea#i went to get my new glasses which were SO FUCKING EXPENSIVE like waaaaay more than i thought#and i don't have much choice of frames either because of all the shit that go into my lenses#but the choices i had today where not only very few but also ugly as fuck#but literally had no choice cause i don't have money and i had to get the cheapest frames to sort of balance how expensive the frames are#and what makes me feel like a piece of shit is that i'm complaining about ''ugly frames'' and whatever when i am able to get them#like i was able to do all the tests i needed to get done i am able to go and buy the glasses with the graduation and the prism and everythi#and i'm SO FUCKING LUCKY that i can and that i have a job that allows me to buy these#and that my family doesn't have to pay them (cause we couldn't)#and i feel like a dick for complaining cause i can fix my eyesight (to an extent) with glasses and i'm not actually blind or anything#but it also sucks that i have to spend literally all of my money just to be able to see#i'm trying so hard to get in the mindset that i'm not getting these glasses for fashion but as medicine#like if i needed a wheelchair it wouldn't be for fashion either#these are aids to help me be healthy and safe and not get run over by a car#even if they look like shit#but you know i'm conflicted :/#angel talks#personal
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agabus · 1 month ago
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i think a perfect microcosm of the phenomenon of "fanon aylin" is all these posts calling her an eight or nine foot tall giant woman when she's like idk 6'3
#like i feel like i finally understand what 'coomer' means#you're gross. it genuinely makes me so uncomfortable how people talk about her. like mad and disgusted in a way i'm rlly#struggling to describe just like. you're fuckin groooosssss. i hate you you're gross#maybe it's just the religion thing like something about everyone's willingness to buy in so fully to the concept that aasimar are like#Superior Beings like they're Better Than Us#but also aylobel isn't weird or creepy at all don't worry about it#like hmm. hmmmmmmmmm#no tags on this one i don't feel like dying today#but since i am shouting into the void#📣📣 I HATE AYLOBEL THEY'RE SO FUCKING BORING#god how so many people are into that ship is beyond me they are the most boring pairing ever#imagine writing a couple who apparently were in love at first sight but have literally no chemistry. couldn't be me#imagine writing a child of a god dating a worshipper of that god and not making it angsty or fraught at all. Could Not Be Me#they suck so hard. this game made me cry over lenore and yrre but made these big important characters this boring?#i have to assume they were/felt forced to make them super sterile because of homophobia or something#which is sad but like. hmm you could have been brave though you could have given them a crumb of backstory#you could have made them anything in the world but *love at first sight* like god my burning hatred for that is boundless#like does anyone actually like that trope i thought we all agreed it was boring as shit#are y'all really that starved for femslash that you'll eat any bullshit they put in front of you damn#because i'll say it again alfira and lakrissa are right there#and cuter and more interesting in every conceivable way. but that's all bisexuals— oop#tbd
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inkskinned · 4 months ago
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how do i contact apple bc actually i am currently going through an internet story but i don't have twitter.
which is to say that 3 weeks ago i was on vacation to the Azores with my family. due to girl pockets (iykyk) my phone fucking jumped into the ocean literally only because i lifted my leg above a 30 degree angle to avoid a wave. the phone was black. the sand was black. it was night. i had waded in about 2 feet deep. i think my guardian angel just closed his eyes.
i immediately reached a state of peace about it. maybe it was a sign from god or the universe. don't we all need to unplug. let's live in the moment or whatever. also, let's give the crabs technology, i just think it would be funny.
i come home. i haven't backed up my phone in a while (lol since 2022) and the shitty replacement i got is literally useless. i lost pictures of newborn babies. i lost contacts. i have to wrangle things together that need 2-factor authentication with a phone that's in the fucking ocean.
and then today i got this notification.
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What in the everfuck. are you kidding me. this thing was IN THE OCEAN. like the ACTUAL OCEAN. like originally "find my phone" was reporting it as ABSENT.
and then i get this email:
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she found it while she was SNORKLING. at the bottom of the actual ocean. it's been there for 3 weeks.
IT STILL WORKS.
which is to say. like how do i get her anything she wants, forever. i don't have any money but i would buy her a fucking boat of iphones to thank her. how do we get apple to give me a commercial. if nothing else i just want people to know that someone found my phone at the bottom of the ocean because how fucking fake of a story does this even sound.
what's going on. hello????????
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batterycityraces · 8 months ago
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Working in a wealthy area is like working in a zoo for me. I am studying out in the field. I cannot connect to these people (customers) at all.
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david-watts · 1 year ago
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the worst thing about it is she doesn’t believe anything that comes out of our mouths
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kasaphescence · 18 days ago
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I feel like once fundraising posts get a certain amount of notes, people stop reblogging them because they assume it translates to the amount of money donated, but it doesn't. The last post I made for Laila got about 1,800 notes in a month-and-a-half, but didn't make that many euros in that time. It hasn't even made a thousand. When I started trying to spread her campaign, it wasn't abnormal to make a thousand a day. It's depressing to see how much engagement has fallen off for Palestine. Laila's mother is/was pregnant (Laila hasn't contacted me in a while, she might have given birth already- can you imagine trying to take care of a baby in the middle of Gaza?), and her whole family is suffering from malnutrition and the hellish conditions of living in an open-air concentration camp. It seems hopeless sometimes, but donations do matter. I'm not including a counter for the fundraiser anymore- I feel like people see the 30k euros raised and feel like it represents how much money the Shaqouras have in their account, but it doesn't. With how high the costs of living are in Gaza, I wouldn't be surprised if they had less than a thousand. Evacuating is still an eventual goal for a lot of families, but right now what they need the most is immediate donations to buy food and medicine and other essentials that are prohibitively expensive even when they're available. Don't think of it like "well my five bucks aren't gonna fulfill the remaining 15k of this evacuation goal," think of it as "my five bucks are gonna help this family buy food and water and medicine today." They still need your help, and literally anything you do goes a long way towards their survival. Please, keep sharing and donating and doing everything you can to help the Palestinian people survive the inhuman cruelty the world is doing unto them.
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einaudis · 2 years ago
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wysteria-bloom · 1 year ago
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▨ " you give in so easy "
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JJK characters react to you taking their hand off your thigh
Genre : mostly sfw, suggestive
Warnings : Sukuna :)
A/n : OBSESSED with jjk atm. Yuji is fucking KILLING it as a main character I'm so in love. Requests are 100% open, ESPECIALLY for jjk.
Characters : gojo, nanami, sukuna, geto
⟢ gojo satoru ␥
Would literally be SO POUTY afterwards. Because what the hell did he do? Would try it again and again and again until you eventually give up because he's petty like that and when you do he gives you the most cheesiest annoying obnoxious little shit grin and raises his brows at you as if to say," I win." Pulls you in for a cuddle after that because he thinks you're adorable when you give in to him, cooing a," you give in so easy, hon~" right into your ear.
⟢ nanami kento ␥
WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO HIM?? Would think he did something to annoy you today that he wasn't aware of. The second you do it bro literally does a full turn towards you and is like," how about you talk instead of insulting me like this." You'll need to tell him it's a prank quick or else he might actually fall out with you for the rest of the night. An apology is definitely in order as well. Nanami deserves the fucking world, after all. You kiss across his face until he tells you to stop, which he never usually does. He just sort of basks in your affection any chance he gets with that serene little smile on his face.
⟢ ryomen sukuna ␥
Oh lord... not a smart idea. On the first time you do it, he just glares at you silently before putting his hand back on your thigh because who the hell do you think you are preventing him from touching what's his? The second time you move his hand? His hand moves up your thigh and inwards, like he was warning you. Third time? Moves up again. Fourth time? You're gonna have to stop before his hand cups something else. When you stop he just grumbles," That's what I fuckin' thought." and keeps his hand there, thumb caressing your inner thigh teasingly until you decide to do something about it.
⟢ geto suguru ␥
Geto is usually a very reasonable man. He doesn't let his emotions get the better of him. But let's say he's had a pretty shitty day and you just happen to want to pull this prank on him at the worst possible moment, his resolve may just snap. The first time you do it, he frowns at you expectantly, waiting for you give him some sort of explanation. The second time you do it he was quick to grab the meat of your thigh again and have a tight grip on it, a sweet little smile on his face," You're testing me tonight aren't you, beautiful?" He cooed out lowly with those dark eyes of his glinting at you challengingly. Yeah, you don't try anything else after that... or maybe you do and you have to buy a new bed frame the next day.
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chateaaa · 6 months ago
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☆ What dating the blue lock characters feels like (pt 2)
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Dating Sae Itoshi includes matching earrings, having your initial dangling in his dominant leg (so every time he scores he dedicates the goals to you), having you in the back of his phone, being mean to everyone but you, buying you everything you want, giving you his password to all his socials, buying you flowers every week, slow dancing in the rain, watching hello kitty with you, kissing you on the back of your hand <3
Dating Shidou Ryusui includes bear hugs!!, slapping your ass every time he gets a chance, biting you randomly, love hate relationship, "shut up" x "make me", would try to be romantic (it does not work), would always expect you watching his games, looking at you in the crowd if he scores a goal, making boys near you cry because he dosnt want them to steal you away from him
Dating Otoya Eita includes kissing you on the neck, painting each other's nails in the color of black, wearing a pink scrunchie you gave him as a joke he now won't remove it from his arm, giving you his hoodie, acts of service, only wearing this specific perfume when you guys meet, pocky game (he would purposely lose)
Dating Tabito Karasu includes flirting with you in front of your friends, matching lego heart keychain, giving you cute random things and saying "my chick number 7 gave this to me, i don't need it so you can have it" that's a lie, he spended 3 days deciding what to give you, carrying you like a sack around, matching sneakers
Dating Alexis Ness includes worshipping you like a goddess, loving every single part of you, carrying an extra ponytail for you, buying you snacks, being very possessive, always wanting to wear matching clothes, words of affirmation and physical touch!!, telling his teamates about how good and kind you are, literally making you experience any kind of dates ex: beach dates, museum dates, stargazing dates, always wanting to touch any part of your body; arms, cheeks, hands
Dating Hiori Yo includes arcade dates!!, winning you stuff toys in claw machines, gaming dates, photobooth dates, physical touch and quality time!!, cuddling while raining, playing games even if your horrible, the beds in minecraft being side by side, carrying you in literally any game, sending you spotify lyrics that he thinks relates to your relationship with him, watching netflix together during summer vacation
Dating Noel Noa includes waking up during weekends with him serving you breakfast in bed, carrying you around like a teddy, all love language, gifting you extravagant gifts everyday, leaving you colorful sticky notes in the counter everyday with daily reminders such as "don't forget to drink water" or "i'm going home late, you should sleep early today"
Dating Ikki Nikko includes only letting you touch his hair, cafe dates, letting you have his drink if you like it more, gifting you a giant teddy on your birthday, would always update you through chat, sending you spotify playlists, handwritten letters, sending memes to eachother, dreaming about being married and adopting 5 cats
Dating Yukimiya Kenyu includes neck kisses!, ranting about all his problems to you at 3 am while cuddling, taking pictures of you every time you go out, his wallpaper being you (he changes his wallpaper every week), just because flowers, photographer x model, always having your favorite food in his bag
Dating Charles Chevalier includes painting each other's nails with the eye color of each other, him only listening to you, sunshine x grumpy, always asking for headpats, booping your nose, watching disney every night before going to bed, expecting you to feed him every time you go out
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idk guys kasasu and otoya feels ooc, I THINK IT'S VERY HARD TO WRITE ABOUT THEM SINCE I FEEL LIKE THEY'RE RED FLAGS AND I REALLY DON'T KNOW ABOUT THEIR PERSONALITY THAT MUCH..... (sorry karasu and otoya fans 😔😔) but anw hope you all still like it ☝🏻🤓
btw PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SUGGEST ANYTHING TO WRITE IM HAVING WRITERS BLOCK LOL
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moonastro · 9 months ago
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Juno persona chart
venus in the houses
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what is a juno persona chart? looking into juno persona chart gives more detailed insight of how the relationship and marriage overall of you and your spouse will be like. it also describes them in a sense as well. The Greek Goddess Juno is described to rule over love and marriage and hence why the asteroid is looked into for that theme.
venus represents beauty, aesthetics and values. within the juno persona chart, venus signifies the love within the marriage, relationship style and the beauty that comes along in the marriage.
reminder: this is my interpretation from observations and first hand experiences, so don't take this to heart.
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**also this can also be used for signs as well, for example if venus in persona chart is in sagittarius, read what applies to the 9th house as it may resonate as well.
venus in 1st house: lots of embodying of one another. quite literal the definition of worshiping your partner. this placements loves their partners independence, courage and fiery aura. this placement is very protective and encouraging of their partner, they act as if they are their soldier, their guard. are quick to act upon when their spouse needs attention of any kind, are always willing to put their partner first. this placement may love how their partner matches their vibe very well but keeping their identity and staying true to themselves at the same time. they lovee their partner body, yes the appearance may play a big part here also and loving how their spouse looks and presents themselves but its more how they do it and not what they see at that moment if that makes sense.
spouse can have natal venus in aries, 1st house, fire sign or fire house.
venus in 2nd house: this placements way of showing love to their spouse can be by cooking a home cooked meal, buying tiny meaningful gifts to them also. can also be by organising a comfort space for their loved one after they are having a bad day or had a hard day at work. the aesthetic of the marriage is very chill, the couple have a comforting aura towards each other, they can be each others comfort space. income is valued amongst themselves and money matters a lot to this placement. this placement may spoil their spouse and may have a mindset of its only acceptable if i spend lots of money on the person that i love in order to show that i truly love them. this placement may value objects and may have a collection of some sort that they keep, perhaps its crystals, books, scarfs, earrings etc etc whatever it is it is very special to this placement and it is very appreciated when others acknowledge their love for objects and even better when someone adds to their collection.
spouse can have natal venus in taurus, 2nd house, earth sign or earth house.
venus in 3rd house: love is very much shown by hobbies and words. lots of words of affirmation 'you look beautiful today', 'i love you' and so on. lots of strolls through the neighbourhood and doing things and spending time within the neighbourhood. for example the couple could easily just go out on a walk around their neighbourhood and go on a creative venture. sharing love through buying latest technologies and sharing some technical skills to each other, it may be internet influenced approaches as well like going online shopping or buying majority of house items from online. the couples may value the arts of writing and their relationship with ones siblings, perhaps this placement has a solid connection with their siblings and may be a big part of their life and perhaps the other also has good relations with their spouses siblings and so forth.
spouse may have natal venus in gemini, 3rd house, air sign or air house.
venus in 4th house: love between the couple is caring, sensitive and very protective. this placement tends to be very protective of their spouse and almost to the point of they'll do anything for them. literally if their spouse gets upset they get upset and want to fix it. nothing is more important to them than them being happy. the couple value their family traditions and most likely will pass it on onto their kids and will make sure to teach their kids the importance of their homeland and heritage. this placement may love how invested their partner is about their ancestry and is always wanting to find themselves. the couple may connect by relating to they way they were brought up and may agree on many things. this placement may have good relations with their family and therefore may appreciate their spouse doing the same. the aesthetic of their home is very important for this placement, it provides not only comfort but a chance for them to create special memories that they'll remember forever and pass it on for generations to come.
spouse may have natal venus in cancer, 4th house, water sign or water house.
venus in 5th house: this placement may love how fun, independent, well spoken and creative their spouse is. the love between the couple are seen by many, they are not afraid to show their love to each other in public and are proud to show off their partner to other people. the aesthetics in this relationship may be part of an entertainment business, lots of creativity in this marriage, arts, singing, dancing, writing, anything that requires to be creative is valued among each party and may be a very important part of their identity and who they are. this placement enjoys pleasure so expect them to get their way and no other, this placement will do anything in order for them to feel satisfactory and the same goes with their partner, they may want only the best for their partner and will go all out for them to make sure they are happy and satisfied. this placement may enjoy intimacy like no other, being intimate in their eyes is art itself, it connects both parties and this placement may find it beautiful how the whole thing plays out.
spouse may have natal venus in leo, 5th house, fire sign or fire house.
venus in 6th house: this couples way of showing love is definitely through acts of service, this placement is ready to literally do anything for their spouse just to show how much they love them. taking care of their spouse is how they express their love for them for example if they are sick in bed or, if they are back from a long day in work and so forth. this placement may romanticise their lifestyle and put in as much effort into it in order to satisfy their needs and their partners. this also may refer to loving their other half's flaws and insecurities, being in love for who they are and not what they are, not caring what may be wrong with them as others may put it. this placement may provide and show love by factoring lots of labour for their partner also which quite literally can mean that they may perform services for their spouse whether its doing what they ask, going out of their way to do extra work for instance when it may not necessarily be needed.
spouse may have natal venus in virgo, 6th house, earth sign or earth house.
venus in 7th house: the love shared between the couple is romantic, everlasting type of love, the love you see of an long lasting marriage of an elderly couple. the couple may express their love through physical touch like holding hands, hugging, holding onto your arm and so on and anything that requires skin to skin contact. i feel this placement also loves to keep their peace and keep everything within the relationship fair. the aesthetic of the relationship may be very peaceful and full of luxurious items in the home, so the home can be very organised and every single item is picked out precisely to the tee. they love to go out shopping for the tiny luxurious things such as perfume testing or going to shop for artistic supplies. this placement loves when their partner goes all out for them and drops everything for them, the definition of having their full attention.
spouse may have natal venus in libra, 7th house, air sign or air house.
venus in 8th house: love can be shared in secret, i feel like with this placement they show love to each other privately so the public may not see that side of the marriage. the sign its in can tell how the couple may express it privately, so for example in aquarius, there may be lots on and off moments. the couple may get along when it comes to shared money so they may get along more when one one gets a bonus at their work, or if they got extra money and so on. this couple may not be seen in public together either, whether its due to each others work schedule or their routines, most of the time they keep it low. may appreciate when their partner trusts them especially when they open up about their trauma and difficulties in life.
spouse may have natal venus in scorpio, 8th house, water sign or water house.
venus in 9th house: love is shown through interest in topics in what their spouse has to say, for example if they have learned a new thing and they share it with their spouse and this placement is in full attention mode in order to show their full interest in what their other half has to say. this placement reminds me of 'did you know this' and 'did you know that' sort of thing, always sharing what they know to their spouse. this couple may value their higher education and are proud of their success in that field. this placement has a special spot for journeys and if their spouse takes them on a journey they will take that as in that they love them. they love it whenever what they say or teach to their spouse how they use that knowledge and share it with other people, this placement appreciates it and its a sign in their eyes that their partner believes and trusts them.
spouse may have natal venus in sagittarius, 9th house, fire sign or fire house.
venus in 10th house: the couple show their love by working hard and proving themselves to beyond expectations over and over again just to prove how much their spouse means to them. reputation has a lot of value, so this placement will spend lots of money to make sure their partner looks the best and feels the best. they may love it when they are exposed to others and them seeing the love that they have for each other. the couple appreciates the maturity of one another in professional situations, they know when to draw the line when it comes to professional titles. this placement loves and is proud of their partners career choices, they find it very motivating. this couple may like to show off lots, their luxury, their home, their cars, anything that may require competition, they like being on top as it shows their validity as respectful human beings.
spouse may have natal venus in capricorn, 10th house, earth sign or earth house.
venus in 11th house: the love between the two is known amongst social groups, everyone knows them as the couple. this couple may be role models and may be know online (the sign in which venus is in can tell you why, for example if in cancer the internet may view how caring one is for each other and how protective and family oriented they are and so forth). this placement may love how their partner is independent, how different they are from other people so they may feel like they hit the jackpot with their spouse. the relationship may be filled with lots of unconventional things and find beauty in those areas in their lives such as roles that are not usually done in a traditional way, they have their own way of finding the glam and beauty in their marriage, different from the stereotype couples.
spouse may have natal venus in aquarius, 11th house, air sign or air house.
venus in 12th house: the couples way of showing love to each other is dreamy and can make the other nearly read ones mind and make their desires of the way they want to be loved come true which makes it feel like their dreams have came true. but on the other hand there is lots of creativity in this marriage, lots of ethereal aesthetic and lots of desires to make their partners dream come true, so with this placements there is most likely going to be lots of travel surprises such as them buying a ticket and saying to their spouse 'yeah, we are going to this place in two days so get ready' but it might be a dream destination for their spouse. others may view this relationship to be a dream come true, there may be lots of illusions for other people that this marriage is perfect. this placement may love how creative, imaginative and out of this world their spouse is, perhaps their spouse is someone they have always dreamed off and they are the perfect representation of their perfect one.
spouse may have natal venus in pisces, 12th house, water sign or water house.
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thank you so much for your time, i hope you have a good day like always>
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thekittenkait · 2 years ago
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i hate i hate i hate exam phase
#i am so done#i am not even fucking exhausted as fuck anymore#no that was last week. when i fell asleep during work. twice.#while sitting in front of the laptop. at a 4pm on a wednsday#i now am just filled to the brink with nervous energy (i am sure the 4 coffees sine 10pm help against THAT)#and still unable to actuall DO anything for my exans#which is so stupid. it's even stupid to say it bc i AM doing shit for my exams#i spend at least 4 hours today doing shit for my exams#but it's not enough it's not enough it's not enough#and at the same time my brain decides that now is a great time to fixate on a new thing so much#that i am considering buying a fucking HORROR GAME for 60 bucks even tho i literally know all the endings already#bc i hsve been obsessively watching let's plays and what nots#also managed to complete fuck up my sleeping schedule so that's AMAZING (definitely not the coffers fault. nope. nope. nope)#(at least im not tired anymore)#and it's gonna be okay#I'm gonna be okay#i just need to pass those exams#(pls brain. work. pls. study.)#and even if i don't pass i will be okay EVENTUALLY (bc i have too much shit to do to worry about only having one try left)#i just.#need something#don't know what#but if i spend another week with my heart beating out of my chest every night at 4am I'm gonna cey#i haven't unclenched my jaw in two weeks. i'm pretty sure#I'm gonna be okay tho#I'm just being dramatic#I'll go to tandem tomorrow. I'll go to (another) study group meeting tomorrow. i will do the exams on tuesday.#i will clean the kitchen on tuesday. i will work on wednesday and thursday. i will do the exam on friday.#i will study for the exam on the tuesday after that. and then. and then I'll do the fucking experiment for my master thesis#i have a plan worked out. it's gonna be okay.
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heavyhitterheaux · 1 month ago
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First Name Basis
See Me Through You Blurb
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Synopsis: Joe becomes nervous when you call him by his first name
Pairing: Husband!Joe Burrow x Wife!Reader
Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere
Folding your leg underneath you, your body flopped down onto the couch in the living room as you opened the camera on your phone so it had a direct clear shot of Joe sitting in the kitchen looking up different recipes so the two of you could make something for dinner.
He looked deep in thought before you interrupted him, by calling his name which you had only done once since the two of you began a relationship with one another at LSU.
“Joseph.” You simply said and it almost felt foreign to hear it come out of your mouth.
Joe on the other hand didn't respond and it wasn't until the second time you did it that he looked up in your direction in confusion.
“Wait, what did you just call me?”
“Joseph.”
Instead of saying anything, he continued to look confused as you tried not to laugh because you knew for a fact that he was starting to panic.
“Why do you have that look on your face?” You asked him and different scenarios started to run through his mind.
“Uh, am I in trouble? What's today? It's not our anniversary, right? No, it's a month away. Did something happen that I don't know about?” He started to ramble and it took everything in you not to go and hug him.
“That's your name? Jim and Robin gave it to you, so what's the big deal?”
“The BIG DEAL is that my name is BABY to you! You never call me Joe let alone JOSEPH. Oh, shit you want a divorce don't you? What did I do? Getting all formal and shit with these first names.” He responded as he got up and walked toward you.
“Don't be dramatic. A divorce, really?” The rolling of your eyes happened the moment the words left his mouth.
“You're the dramatic one using my full government. Like who does that?”
“Everyone! And I just wanted you to grab me some cran pineapple juice from the fridge.”
“Yeah, cranberry and all her mixed children. BUT, you aren't everyone, you are literally MY WIFE and that didn't require you to use my FIRST name.”
“You really aren't going to let this go are you?”
“No and I'm covering all my bases and buying you an expensive ass piece of jewelry because I have no idea what I did wrong. Like Joseph? Who the fuck is that? Not me.” Was the last thing you heard before he headed into the kitchen to get the juice you had asked for as you doubled over in laughter.
When Joe walked into the kitchen, the first thing he did was send a text to your twin brother.
Joe- Your sister called me by my first name
Uno- And?
Joe- SHE NEVER DOES THAT AND NOW I'M PANICKING
Uno- Wait, your full name? 👀
Joe- YES
Uno- Oh
Joe- Oh? What do you mean oh!?!? Should I be worried!? She's smiling and laughing at me but I'm convinced she's planning my funeral
Uno- It was nice knowing you 🫠
Joe- So, you aren't going to help me!?!?
Uno- So she can get my ass too? HELL NO. Just let me know if you wake up dead tomorrow. We'll have a celebration of life for you at the stadium
Joe- And how the FUCK and I supposed to do that!?
Uno- Idk 🤷🏽‍♂️
Joe- 🙄🙄
When Joe finally walked back into the living room and handed you your glass, you smiled at him and motioned for him to lean down so you could kiss him.
“Thank you, baby.”
All he did was make a face before sitting down next to you.
“I'm not chancing it. What bracelet do you want from Tiffany's?” He asked as he handed you his phone which earned a smile to come across your face.
“Hmm, pranking you has its perks, doesn't it Joseph?” You asked as you smirked and took a sip from your glass.
“I… You know what? Give me my phone back.”
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