#Liking her? Also being inspired by or comforted by her??? Sounds fake you're making that up that's what /Charm/ feels

[sysig]

Sounds fake. Source? (Patreon)

[petruchio]

I'm loving the love that the "If what, Katniss?" line is getting!! I still feel butterflies everytime I read that.

And like, maybe it's late and I'm going a little insane but, throughout the series it's mostly Peeta being open about his affections towards Katniss and waiting (that's definitely the wrong word for this but I can't find the right one) for her to allow him to get closer. To want him to get closer. His earnestness is, in many ways, what keeps both of them alive for so long

I think it was @rosegardeninwinter that, a few months ago, talked about how Peeta always waits for Katniss to initiate affection first. He usually follows her lead, what she's comfortable with, what they agreed to, etc

Again, maybe I'm insane because of the late hour but like: isn't that what makes him start to slowly come back in Mockingjay? Like. He is "waiting" for Katniss to lead the way again, to show him what he used to do, to remind him of himself.

And then, right before the "you're a painter, you're a baker" line she's desperate. She wants to tell Peeta "everything about himself, about who I am, and about how we both ended up here" (I don't have an English version on hand so it may be a little different but anyways)

And later she immediately trashes around in her mind at the mere Idea of killing him.

She kisses him "don't let him take you from me".

"Stay with me".  "Always." And his eyes return to a state of normalcy

Am I reading too much into it?

YES!! one of peeta’s many dream boyfriend traits that often gets lost in his PALE IMITATORS is that he is just like, genuinely respectful. sure, he has a crush on katniss and he thinks she’s great and all (she is! dont we all love her!) but he also respects her boundaries (WHEN SHE SETS THEM) and makes it clear that he respects her more as a person than he does as an object of love.

one of my favorite peeta scenes is his apology in the beginning of catching fire — bc again to return to our discussion from earlier, he honestly DOES know to some extent that katniss wasn’t faking the whole romance. but he’s hurt by a combination of her claiming that she was, of her thinking he was dumb enough to fall for it, and her keeping secrets from him. (all valid!) yet he STILL goes out of his way to apologize and propose that they just try being friends, bc he values her in his life as a *human being* and wants to be close to her again without the confusion and complications of their “star crossed lovers” bit. LIKE come on! he’s a dream.

i’m intrigued by the idea that he’s “waiting” for her in mj — bc i feel like it’s a bit of yes and no. i think you’re right that a lot of what jump starts his fighting his way back to her are moments when katniss lets him back in: the painter moment, the always kiss, etc. like — when he first arrives back and she’s cold to him and she says “everyone says i loved you” but STILL refuses to admit it could be true, he makes no effort to refute that or to be kind to her. so in that way yes, he is waiting for her to open back up — it’s haymitch saying “peeta would never treat you this way” that triggers katniss to start softening to him, and you’re right that’s when he starts to come back to himself. and then she escalates things from there — the real or not real scene, touching his hair, the kiss.

but i also think peeta is trying to fight back on his own terms! like how he frosts finnick and annie’s cake or his “valuable asset” joke in mj when katniss notices him sounding like his old self. i think a big part of what makes peeta’s recovery so spectacular is that he does it at all, and i think a big part of that is HIM — his refusal to be a “piece in the games.” but then to your point… it’s what katniss reminds him of in the “don’t let him take you from me” line. so it’s both — but that’s very *them* — they’re helping each other, they’re inspiring each other, they’re building a future TOGETHER and that’s what makes them so special. ugh they have my whole heart forever!!!

[sasoxichomoshi]

hey! i'm planning on writing a lol vampire au heavily inspired by castlevania and i want nilah as one of the protagonist monster hunters, but i have very little idea on how to write her. there are veeeery few good nilah fics (and i found only one that was nilah-centric) so i dont have much fan material to base myself on.

i find nilah really hard to write because we don't know a lot about her prior to ashlesh and writing a character that only feels ona emotion is a challenge. i still intend on making ashlesh and their deal a thing (although not necessarily as extreme as the runeterra version) but I really wanted to hear from the greatest nilah expert out there. do you have any tips/suggestions? what are things you feel are missing in most nilah fanworks?

i always wanted to make an overall guide on how to write nilah, but never felt comfortable in doing so, but hey now i have an excuse!! thanks frend

first i want to say that most of fanfics out there are fine and there are even some of them i like a lot despite not agreeing the way they write nilah (i guess that's what we call creative freedom lol), and nonetheless im very grateful for people picking her to write about

that said, yes you are totally right, nilah is hella difficult to write, like god level difficulty, because not only you have to know nilah, but if you're going to write her having any interaction with another character you have to know that character too (more than superficial knowledge); for example, nilah often refers to another people by their *full name* or titles, so it's something you have to keep in mind (the only exception i can imagine to this is if she's faking not knowing something for the sake of a higher objective that cannot be achieved by the use of brute force)

nilah unending happiness might sound like a big problem, but it has to be one of the most chill parts of her character; usually people tend to focus too much on the happy side of the thing, and in fact she doesn't work like this!

nilah is happy all the time yes, but it works more like a feeling of excitement than of genuine happiness, and the thing is: nilah feels other things too. well, she doesn't feel them literally, but she *believes* she feels them, it's her human part rationally thinking and mentally pointing "oh now i should feel anger" "now it's a moment of sorrow" and the moment the thought leads to a feeling, it is immediately cut by her curse

nilah lives by her principles and values inherited from her human part and past, and that's what she uses to guide her. all her feelings are suppressed by ashlesh, so she has to rely on her logic, basically

the demon's influence feels much like a grasp; it feels like its hands tightly holds nilah's head; ashlesh is oppressive, he's always watching her... and she still keeps him in control through her rituals and meditations (and even with her intelligence)

people overlook this one too, but nilah is very smart and cunning; years of reading made her a walking encyclopedia, and her tongue can be as sharp as her urumi, BUT her spiritual training with the seventh layer order also made her mindful and sensible: she's smart, but she'll only use knowledge for good; she's cunning, but she won't be if unnecessary or for personal gain.

she weighs the consequences of her actions especially when interacting with other people (which brings me to another point that nilah navigates interaction by social cues, she guesses the pattern and goes by it cause 1) she only feels joy and 2) she's contacting another cultures and lands, so it's kinda of a process of trial and error)

also, if i may say, the impression "an intimate evening at oyster bill's" gives about nilah is that she can read intentions very clearly (probably an ability she got from ashlesh), she may not know why people act the way they do, but she knows when someone is lying or being honest (or threatening her)

with these explanations in mind, here's a quick guide by topics to follow when writing nilah

INTERACTIONS

she's very reserved about herself and her past - even when writing her paired with someone, i dont think she would talk about herself, her past is forgotten and she lost herself to joy, remember that

she's moderate when speaking - if you're going to make her sound happy, do it with balance, the only moment she sounds exceptionally happy and excited is in battle

she's not emotional (logically) - she wont act "in the heat of the moment", as i said, she's thoughtful with her actions

ashlesh also "interacts" with other people - tho of what we have been presented so far makes him looks mysterious, here i believe people SHOULD flex, go for your imagination

INNER THOUGHTS

if you feel like really writing her PoV, try to follow that idea of the logical thinking i explained above and keep it short and objective

you can also describe ashlesh's influence for that emotional seasoning (as i explained above)

but (and it's my personal favorite) you can also totally avoid diving into nilah's PoV for that mystery flavor that works so well with her - no one understands her and trying to do so can create interesting settings

MANNERISMS

she always uses people full names or titles - and in this case using titles when not sure about the characters full names can help, but i advise not overuse it

whenever nilah speaks with someone, insert small mentions of recitations during the interaction - with parsimony, the better use of it happens as a tool to drive conversations; nilah can use it to avoid a question, change topics or end conversations (and the inverse can happens too!!), be creative when use it and be sure to include meaningful conversations/interaction between her lil' recitations

nilah make use of mudras, hand gestures - they can be widely used to be honest (it's more frequent when she do recitations/meditates), but you can also make creative use of it (e.g. she inserts signs in the middle of the mudras to sneakily pass a message)

DON'Ts (personal opinion)

avoid making her childish like the hell

dont make her have the joker smile all the time please please please

she doesnt laugh at everything

this one is veryyy particular of me, but nilah wont go out there mentioning ashlesh name or saying things like "this is ashlesh the lord of joy, one of the ten kings, demon of the seventh layer and i control it blah blah blah" - even if she's asked directly i doubt she would give a full answer, AGAIN she's thoughtful and objective, she wont go out there giving this kind of information for free, avoid this

i think these are my main points, ofc dont let them hold yourself on some idea, i really dont wanna hurt any creative thought by somehow "imposing" my views

something that i always have in mind is that everyone is writing nilah's epic somehow, and i believe nilah would like to see everyone's thoughts about her turning into stories

thanks so much for the ask, and sorry for the delay (and maybe i wrote it too big lol), if you have another questions please it will be a pleasure to answer them ^u^

[mfpeace]

@justbeingedgy @weird-colombian-gurl You asked me to elaborate on the "Ches already has a kid" theory in the notes of that one mf analysis post (which I really liked, go check it out!!), so that's why I'm making this one, cuz notes are a bit too restricting for what I want to talk about!

Though next time think twice before asking me to talk about something I'm interested in, because you never know when you're gonna wake up lovecraftian horrors!! :DDD you'll see what i mean when you press read more :))

So, I'll say it right now - this post is largely inspired by the second story highlight of this Instagram user (sorry, I don't know their name, only that their Instagram handle is dee_girl_metalfamilyfan), it's in Russian though, so keep that in mind

Alright, so I'll break this theory into two parts: the first one will be all about Ches, and the second will be about his potential child (spoiler: you might've seen her!)

Without any further ado, let's get to the Ches part:

1. The creators said that they're gonna explore Ches' character in the second season. Obviously, it doesn't mean anything on it's own, but just wait.

Dima: Let's talk about the second season a little. Of course, the seconds season will show development of the old characters, as well as new ones. That's in short. As you see, Ches looks a bit different here.

Alina: Yeah, we'll show a bit more about Ches at the ages of 18 to 20. His past. We'll reveal a bit more about his complex character, as much as it's possible.

(The source of the translation) Also I think they also said at one point that adult Ches will get some character development too? But that's probably a given, considering that we wouldn't see his youth if it wouldn't have affected him in the present, flashbacks without any relevance to the overall story don't sound so good

2. Not sure about this one (we don't know how much in character it was) but I can't not mention it.

Alina: Actually there was this one fanfic that I really liked. I don’t remember what it was called, but it was about Ches having a daughter, which is a cool topic. It was relatively in character and truly interesting. It’s great when people focus not just on sexual relationships of the characters, but also try to look at their development. That was a really interesting one. That’s it.

(UnityCon '19)

3. This one's a pretty big one, in my opinion. So, this is what they said on ArtWave '19:

Dima: Ches also has flaws.

Alina: [to Dima] Don’t spoil stuff.

Dima: His flaw is that he's very... irresponsible, let’s say.

So, maybe, just maybe, Ches does have a child but he, you know... left them? As the Instagram highlight from the beginning say: "he might be irresponsible enough to leave his child, and he's probably irresponsible enough not to use any contraception" (rephrased, not the exact quote)

4. Alright, so, the only mention of this one I can think of right now is the aforementioned Instagram highlight. The Metalfamilyfan says:

I contacted Korg/Корж, (admin of @ metal_yama [and I believe one of the organizers of the Metal Family Meetup in Moscow]) and she asked Alina on one of the meetups: "if Ches were to be a father, what kind of father would he be?"

And she said: "The kind of that would say "kid, look at that birdie over there!" an then he would run away"

Someone's words are not the perfect source, but they did tag Metal Yama and from what I know they didn't disagree with what the author of the page said. if anyone has anything to say about this (disprove or definitely prove what I said) feel free to do so in a reblog, notes, DMs, send me an anonymous ask, or in any other way you feel comfortable with

5. Ches has literally been through the same thing, and we know how important the theme of the cycle of abuse is in Metal Family (or, in this case, the cycle of neglect? Abandonment? Idk)

You managed to hide your PREGNANCY from me! AND you've been hiding the child from me for a whole year!

YES, because you would've insisted on aborting him!

AND NOW I'M INSISTING ON PUTTING HIM UP FOR ADOPTION! OR I'LL LEAVE RIGHT NOW!

6. Here we can see Ches with a blonde girl. Nothing too special, probably just a one time hook up. He doesn't seem to be interested in her, and she seems to be annoyed with him.

But wait...

What is this?

Like, it doesn't even matter if there's actually a punk/rock/whatever band named MOM or not, I just think it's pretty weird to put it in this particular drawing of Ches and this random woman who is implied to have slept with him. It's not integral to Ches' character as, for example, Korol i Shut is. It's just... there. For some reason.

------------

Alright, now, finally let's get to the second part of the theory: who is, exactly, his child?

The short answer is, according to this theory, her:

First, let me list every single instance of her appearing in canon (and by canon I mean everything made by the creators. Even with this definition of canon it's not much, I promise): The screenshot you can see above on the left (it's a screenshot from the second season and it appeared here), an instagram story posted by Alina (above, right), and two drawing with a lot of characters where you can spot the girl which I'm gonna call her PinkHair or PH for short, I'll mention them later I feel like I should mention this, comparing the sources of the images and the dates when they were posted, it's safe to assume that the screenshot in the classroom has the latest and final version of her design. The red hair most likely doesn't mean anything

1. Alright. So. we've seen Dee and PinkHair in a classroom together, so they're most likely related in some way, or at least they know each other. Their exact relationship doesn't matter here, because all that matters here is that they're related story-wise

Let's look at the first image. This is the banner of the main Metal Family channel. Ches is near Heavy (they get along quite well and I'm sure Heavy aspires to be like Ches in many ways), Dee (we can see his classmates/friends near him, they're all about his age), and we can see people related to Glam on the left side of the image (including Ches!), and Vicky's - on the right side (notice how the hell sign is also there)

Now, I'm not absolutely sure about this one, but it's still kind of weird - look at the image on the right (it's from ArtWave 2021 btw) - wouldn't it make more sense to put PinkHair near Dee? Also, Curiously enough, not only is she not close to Dee on this image, but she's also standing next to Ches.

Though this whole thing could be explained by art theory (too many small things in one corner of your drawing isn't great composition wise lol sorry PH) but I still can't quite skip this point

2. Remember the "MOM" lady? Fun fact, she has the exact same pearl earring that PinkHair has on the screenshot.

3. I'll put all similarities with her supposed parents in this point: Mother: * She's also pretty uh.. glam? for the lack of a better word? Or feminine in a traditional sense, yeah I think that's a better way to put it. Like colors they prefer to wear for example, and jewelry. Characters like that aren't common in Metal Family * She's gotta be a blonde. I can't imagine her being anything but blonde. If she manages to maintain that hair color as a brunette I'm just straight up assuming her character arc is gonna be killing God because these kind of people are capable of anything. I fear them with every fiber of my being. * I can't say for sure because of the shading, but it seems like they both have gray eyes, and she also has darker skin compared to most MF characters. Though, it's likely that Mom just applied a lot of fake tan Ches: * We know that Ches for sure has darker skin * AND grey eyes * There's also some possible personality similarities but I'm not sure if you can compare a child to a parent they've never really known in this way

That's about it, I suppose, I hope there isn't that many grammar mistakes and logically unfinished parts and whatnot in this post I forgot to edit lol x) I'm not sure how to end this post other than to remind you guys that almost all the points in this posts are inspired by the "тупая теория" highlight on the dee_girl_metalfamilyfan's Instagram page, so go check them out and subscribe, they post Dee x The Quest Girl fanart and and always credit the artists. Without them this post would be much, much shorter.

Thanks for reading this post, please feel free to let me know your thoughts on this post <3

[min-chery]

Sing me to sleep | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook / Named OC

Warnings: Side-character death / mention of suicide / arson / nightmares / description of burn injuries

A/N: This one doesn’t have a synopsis hehe. It was inspired that one scene from the Fake Love mv. Also, this one is written in Jungkook’s POV. Enjoy~~

Word count: 1.47k

I watch the steady rise and fall of her chest as the air gets drawn into her lungs in her state of sleep. A peaceful silence engulfs us save for the sounds of our mingling breaths.

My Mika, so strong in the day as she fights off her demons, now looks so vulnerable under the moonlight that shone. Like a baby, so pure and so fragile, born into the cruelty of the world.

She lies in my bed, looking as if she belonged among the still life that surrounded us. Had it not been the movement of her chest, one would have assumed she was dead.

She does not hold me in her slumber. Doesn't seek out for my comfort, even if she deep down knows she craves for it.

The stillness is so comforting that I don't feel myself falling into a slumber. But it feels as if someone pushed me into a comfortable darkness. The kind that I would never be able to escape, but I would never wish to leave either.

Frantic hands that relentlessly tug at my t-shirt yank me up from sleep. The sound of pained ragged breaths being drawn in sends my mind into a state of frenzy.

My hands hastily look through the dark for the remote that controls the air conditioner. And when it finally gets caught, I lower the temperature, sending a rush of cool air through the machine.

Mika's pleading eyes look at me, tears of frustration willing up at the corners. I see the wiggling of her toes, something I've discovered she does because she's afraid all the fear will paralyze her. Will cripple her of her physical abilities.

"Get it off, koo." She whispers helplessly. As if a task as small as getting rid of the blanket from over her body seems like a tedious job.

I free her of the layers, including the pajama shirt that stuck to her upper body like second skin from the sweat. I take her into my arms and pull her onto my lap, holding her in a loose embrace.

One hand goes into her hair, my fingernails lightly scraping at the scalp as a form of stress relief. The other holds her against my chest, right above the heart that beats painfully fast, just for her.

"It burns." She whimpers, her hands extended out towards the side.

My eyes fall on the vicious marks that marred her right arm. Starting from the back of her palm right until her elbow. The day of the incident flashes in my mind as if it had happened only yesterday.

The images of her burnt hand, the smell of her skin being toasted and crumpled from the fire that night fill me up.

I would forever hate Yoongi hyung for what he had done. Did he hate life that much to set a building on fire with himself and his girlfriend inside? Was he so hurt and angry with life to forget he held the very love of his life in the same room?

Did he, for even a second, think about us? His friends who'd been there for him at all walks of life? Me, his stepbrother, who loved him so much even if we never said it out loud?

I don't realize my fingers are roving over the damaged skin until a quiet hiss leaves Mika. The skin isn't supposed to burn anymore. Not when it's already been three years since it took its birth.

It's then I realize her mind is playing games with her. Her conscience is still hazy from the nightmare.

"How about we apply some lotion on it?" I ask her, my voice very low and gentle. I see her eyes blink slow, taking in the words I just muttered. And then she gives me a single nod.

The lotion will be cool on the skin, tricking her mind into thinking it works on the burn.

I lift myself up from our bed with my girl in my arms. Her ankles lock themselves at the base of my spine, holding herself up as we walk towards the bathroom. I set her down on the counter and open the cabinet right next to where she sits.

She lets me stand between her thighs, her legs not once removing themselves from around my torso as I pull out her favorite rose-scented lotion.

"Shall I?" I ask and she nods, giving me her hand. I know it takes her a lot to do that. The insecurities of letting someone take closer looks and touch the skin seemed to have never left her.

I smear the pale pink lotion onto her hand, rubbing it in gently with small circular motions.

I think of the night before Yoongi's death. The then weird conversation we had. He kept asking me to take care of Mika knowing very well that I loved her at the time too.

"You're not going anywhere. Why do you want me to take care of her? It's your job as the boyfriend." I had scoffed at the time. It had felt as if he was trying to rub the fact he was her boyfriend right in my face.

"I won't be here for long." he had simply stated. I was confused. All I remember afterward is overlapping voices, shouting. Me shouting at him. Him muttering 'sorry kookie' over and over again. I demanding to know what he meant.

When the very next night Mika phoned me, I knew something terrible had happened. She sobbed from the other line, pleading with me to save her and Yoongi.

I ran to his house, calling our friends to help me with whatever it was were going to be met with. His house was intact but the thick smoke coming out the window of his room had been really scary. Namjoon had yelled at us to look for fire extinguishers. Anything that would help put out a fire.

When I ran into the room, all I could see was the figure that sat on the chair. Yoongi let the fire engulf him, set him to ashes along with his mother's favorite chair. Mika was petrified, looking at him as if she wanted to save him. But she couldn't move a muscle. Couldn't feel the fire move across towards her arm.

If it hadn't been for Taehyung knocking her over and out of the room, she would've gone down in ashes too. Maybe she had wished for it to take her with Yoongi too.

I had tried so hard to pull Yoongi out of the fire. I did my best. My fate really did have other ideas. He breathed his last in my and Mika's arms.

Endless therapy sessions were all we had after that. Slowly pulling our lives back together after he left us.

Somewhere along the way, Mika started falling for me. I was beyond ecstatic. We moved in together after two years. Though life wasn't the same without him, we knew we would be fine. Because we had each other.

There still are moments she hesitates telling me she loves me. She was worried she was hurting Yoongi every time she said the words. But I know she is trying every day to be better.

"Koo." she calls for me and I hum.

"You know I love you, right?" she looks at me with trembling, pouty lips. It makes it so hard to hold back now.

I pull her in by the back of her neck and kiss her. I let my lips answer the question that words couldn't. Of course I know she does. I see it in her eyes every time they fall on me. See her pupils dilate in her amber eyes.

"I know. I love you too." she smiles the brightest I've ever seen at this.

"Should we go back to sleep, baby?" she nods childishly, making me voice out a chuckle.

"Come on then." I say, before lifting her up once again.

Once we're all settled under the blankets, Mika looks up at me from where she lies over my chest.

"Do you want to wear your shirt back on?" She shakes her head a 'no'.

"What?" I ask her when I see that she's still staring at me.

"Sing me to sleep." I am surprised to hear her say that. She's never asked me to sing before and it makes my heart soar with happiness. All this time she had been secretly enjoying me sing around the house, even though she grumbled I was too noisy.

So I let my voice wash over her senses. Comfort her aching soul to sleep.

Her body loosens over mine, falling deeper and deeper into sleep. My heart synchronises itself to the rhythm of hers.

"I love you. More than you can ever imagine."

[jojikawa]

•.¸♥¸.•*´💖PREY💖´ *•.¸♥¸.•

💎 SUMMARY: -♥-♡--^[ Izuku allows himself to be persuaded an manipulated by an attractive female villain using her quirk to cloud his judgement and hide her true nature ]^--♡-♥-

💎PAIRING: Izuku Midoriya/Reader

💎WORD COUNT: 2,416 words 12,951 characters

You were apart of the League of Villains. Just a mere school girl like your friend, Toga. It wasn’t until you joined them when you met her. You guys would get along fine and would have fun annoying Dabi together and you trusted her enough to willingly give her a blood sample so that she could impersonate you if needed. 

➢One

Two

Three (soon)

After U.A. getting so much attention from the Sports Festival, Shigarki had ordered you to enroll in the school and be a continuous spy for the League. Toga would assist you during the Licensing Exam. 

Getting into the school was easy and smooth. Shigaraki had some underground workers forge recommendations for you and the main group of class 1-A automatically liked you with the exception of Katsuki Bakugo. He just rubbed you the wrong way and no matter what you did to charm him he just couldn’t stand the fact that you’d also associate with Izuku. 

Over sometime, it had become obvious that Izuku was with All Might somehow, just like Tomura had described to you. You needed to figure out why exactly. The best way to get things out of him would be to see how well your quirk works on him. Your experiments went something like this:

You waited until Izuku was alone. You noticed that he would run off and speak to All Might. You didn’t hear much but it came to your attention that he did not know how to use his quirk. He often hurt himself and tried to cover it up. It was a sunny spring day and the conditions for stalking the adorable little Izuku was more than perfect.

You watched him train for a bit before revealing yourself. Seeing him so hard at work sparked the ‘Alpha’ in you. You wanted to be the one who could tame this power he harnessed. 

“Izuku~” You called out to him. He recognized your voice! The scent of the area changed. It smelled...sweet. Izuku didn’t exactly know you but the scent of you and your presence made him feel comfortable and at ease.

“(l-l/n)-chan!” He replied with a stutter but before he could turn around you snaked your arms around his waist and pulled yourself close to him. The feeling of your breasts against his back enticed him and made him melt on the inside. He was getting contact with the new pretty girl. 

“What are you doing out here all by yourself?” You questioned, releasing him from your grasp. He turned around, face red from blushing and more awkward than ever. He was trying to come up with an excuse to throw you off but your stare was so alluring and hypnotic.

"I-I'm just practicing! What are you doing here? I thought I would have more privacy." He muttered, rubbing the nape of his neck and looking off to the left, as he was too shy to maintain eye contact.

"Practicing?" You tilted your head in an adorable way. "For the licensing exam?" You pretended to think for a moment. You knew what he was doing.

Izuku nodded. "Yeah! There's going to be a physical test so I wanted to be ready!" He told you. "Were you trying to find a place to practice too, (l/n)-chan? If you want, I can leave-"

You moved closer to him and silenced him by placing your hands on his chest. "Please, Izuku, call me (y/n). And I was hoping I could do it with you." You chirped with a smile. Your smile made him feel tingly inside. “With me? I thought you’d want to do it with someone else. Maybe with Uraraka or-”

“No, silly. You need to have more faith in yourself. We just met but I can already tell you’re being more than just modest. I saw your performance at the festival. There’s no one else I’d rather train with.” 

This made this Izuku ecstatic on this inside. But he couldn’t shake this feeling that he was in danger. He assumed the feeling came from how you interrupting him in his thought and might’ve heard is talk with All Might, but he didn’t want to assume things about you. “Wow, (y/n), that means a lot.” He blushed deepened and he didn’t deny your touch.

You grinned. It was working. Your quirk was nicknamed “Love and Beauty” It’s passive allowed you to get closer to others without trying and it’s main power allowed you to keep someone infatuated with you. Some emotions can cut your power off such as a natural disliking, explaining why Katsuki Bakugo seems to be immune right now. Maybe when he softens up it can work. 

“Good”

From that day forward, you gave Izuku extra attention but you would make yourself scarce, allowing him to miss you. He noticed that you called him “Izuku” and not “Deku” or “Midoriya”. It was off-putting at first but he grew to like the sound of his name more and more. 

You had realized that you were making a lot of the first moves and felt that maybe you came on a little too strong?

The other students saw the way Deku would act without you. He seemed like he was almost on edge and often zoned out. It was obvious he was developing Separation Anxiety. A side effect of your quirk. You knew that if someone you used it on started acting indifferent then it was working.

Ochaco was the first to figure out what could've been going on. Izuku had a crush on you and you most likely felt the same way if spend so much time with him in private. She disliked that he had been throwing away his social life to master his quirk and then kiss up to you.

She waited until the end of the class talk to him about it.

"Deku!" She spoke cheerfully. "We're all going to the mall again soon. Would you wanna go this time? Aizawa said he would have Principal Nezu beef up security so that we can have a good time!" She explained with her school supplies in hand.

Izuku grimaced and scratched the back of his head. "Oh, hey, Uraraka! I would love to go but I promised (y/n) that we would hang out after school hours." He laughed awkwardly and fiddled with the bandages around his fingers. This made Ochaco frown. "Are you sure, Deku? You haven't really been yourself lately. We don't really hang out anymore."

"I've just been caught up with studying and training. (y/n)'s been a really big help. She always takes care of my injuries so that I'm not always held up at Recovery Girl's office." Izuku smiled his usual smile at the thought of you soothing his wounds. "I understand but-" Ochaco's words were cut off by your appearance.

Without a word, you had snaked your way behind Izuku. Any normal person would have been startled but it was almost like he expected it. "What's taking so long, Izu?" You asked him in a firm but sweet voice with your gaze on the girl in front of you. Your eyes were piercing Ochaco like a sword. "(y/n)! I was just talking to Uraraka. She was inviting us to hang out at the mall today." Izuku replied.

Really, she had invited him, not you but-

"Sorry, we can't do the mall today. Maybe next time. I'll be waiting outside for you, Izu~" you let go of your boy toy and left the room, making sure to let your eyes linger on Ochaco.

She was cute and a good friend but you feared she would figure out your true intent if you hung around her too much. Once you were out of sight, Ochaco continued. 

Izuku blushed and laughed nervously. “I-I kinda think she likes me!” 

“Deku, can’t you see the way she’s acting. No girl that likes you would keep you away from your friends. Since when was the last time we all hung out together? She’s not good for you.” She lamented. 

But her cries fell on deaf ears. Izuku’s system had already been compromised from your quirk. “I’m sorry, Uraraka but it’s all just for the licensing exam.” He reassured her. “I can try talking to (y/n) about hanging out with you guys until then. She's so good at what she does. Whenever I get hurt, she's always there to patch me up. She’s just shy!” He explained. 

Ochaco could tell that she may not have gotten through to him but she had to believe in him and she could live with that. It hurt that Izuku was being charmed by another girl. It was so obvious. Izuku inspired her so much and she wanted to be the one and now a sad prang sat in her chest because she had lost a game that she didn’t know she was apart of. You were so beautiful and your energy was so enticing.

“Alright, Izuku. We’ll see you soon. Please don’t keep us waiting too long.” She smiled kindly and left accordingly. “A-Alright!”

When Ochaco passed you on the way out, she didn’t make eye contact, nor did she even breath in your direction. You had picked up on her subtle feelings for Izuku but it was too bad she was in the crossfire. 

“H-Hey! Sorry for taking so long.” He ran over to you with his things in hand. Without a word, you gave him your bag of books, which he was happy to carry. “No problem, Izu~” 

The two of you began walking. You skipped and twirled around, occasionally glazing and giggling at the green-haired boy.

"So, what type of training are we focusing on today? I think I'm getting better at using small portions of my quirk so that I don't get hurt." He spoke, breaking the silence.

You looked directly at him. A brief silence before he went on. "N-Not that I don't like it when you take care of me. I appreciate you helping out so much."

"Mmm...nope!" you sped up your pace, ushering Izuku to speed up at well. "No? Oh, well, since we're free today, do you...think we can hang out with my friends sometimes? I know Kacchan scares you and it's hard for you to open up but I promise their good people." He cheered, happily. Your facial expression didn't change. You just wore a semi-fake smile.

He was definitely adorable and you didn't want to say no but getting caught up with the other kids could get you into a lot of trouble..

"If you're talking about today, then no. I have something else in mind...like the park." You moved closer look him and linked your arm with his. "I have a small surprise."

Izuku blushed at your closeness and huffed. "Okay then."

Once you got to the park, you found some clean ground under a tree and instructed Izuku to sit your things there.

It was such a beautiful day. The sun was perfect and made your skin look so radiant. The cool spring breeze was refreshing and Izuku couldn't help but bask in your presence. You were truly amazing to him.

So beautiful, understanding, and supportive. You felt so comfortable to be around and he could always smell this pleasant scent while around you.

Maybe this is what love was beginning to feel like.

You sat on the ground. "Come, Izu." You commanded and like the obedient pup he was, he listened.

"I have something important to talk to you about." You took his calloused hands into your soft delicate ones. His friends were going to become a problem soon. Your quirk would wear off if his feelings for you became too complex. You had to seal the deal.

Izuku furrowed his eyebrows. He wanted to feel happy but a nagging feeling on the back of his head didn't want him to. "Is it about-"

You silence him by squeezing his hand lightly and taking a deep breath. "It's not school-related or even exam related. I've spent a lot of time with you since coming to U.A. Before you, I've never had any friends or even someone I liked. I've been casted away and bullied for my looks but you bypass all of that and accept me for who I am." You stopped for a brief moment to locked eyes with him. He used this as a moment to get a word in.

"Of course (y/n)!...You're beautiful! Whoever thinks otherwise doesn't know what they're missing."

He didn't actually mean for that second part to come out. At this point, Izuku was allowing your intoxicating smell to infiltrate his senses. He interlocked his fingers with yours. His scarred skin being so rough in contrast to yours.

"Oh, Izu~" You leaned forward, so close that he could feel the ghost of your lips touching his.

He wanted to kiss you. He wanted to taste your sweet lips so badly.

You let go of his hands and cupped his face.

"You will make an amazing #1 hero. You deserve so mu-" before you could finish your speech, he kissed you.

Izuku just couldn't take it anymore. His hands reluctantly wrapped around your waist. You've used your quirk to charm other guys but you've never let one kiss you.

It felt so real.

He bit at your lip, asking to use tongue and you let him in. The kiss was so gentle and passionate.

When it came to needing air, you finally stopped. The boy back away, huffing and puffing from lack of breath.

Now it was your turn to blush. You placed your hands on you cheeks, as you felt them heating up. "Izu..." You whispered, nervously.

Izuku's eyes widened. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to—" He reached out to you but you just turned away slightly.

"I didn't know you were such a good kisser. I can't believe you stole my first kiss!"

"Y-Your first kiss?" He repeated. You giggled madly. "Yes! I took you for a timid one. I thought I was gonna be making all the first moves. You sure did prove me wrong."

"W-Well, I-I don't know what came over me. It just felt...right." He said, honestly. You cocked an eyebrow toward him. "Right? It felt right?"

"Y-Yeah, like...it was supposed to happen."

This was too easy.

"Like fate? So what does that make you and me?" You asked innocently but you already knew the answer.

"I want to be more than just friends! I want to be your boyfriend!"

[prodtrouver]

Coffee Thief || n.jm

:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡

You fix the set where Jaemin will be modeling in for your new lipstick line. It was in the greater direction, the lighting was perfect, the seat was comfortable but it was missing one thing.

That's right, the model.

You head to the room where they are. Your pace was rather normal until you start to hear Renjun and Donghyuck arguing again. You let out a sigh, entering the room. There you saw the two boys fighting over who will do Jaemin's lip. Jaemin notices your presence and smiles sweetly at your direction, you smile back at him but your smile didn't stay any longer when the two boys also noticed your presence.

"Get out, I'll do everything from here." You say, walking towards Jaemin. Renjun and Donghyuck looked hesitant but did what you told them to do anyway.

You grab the lipstick from the vanity, turning around to look at Jaemin. His sweet smile on his ways was making your stomach do flips.

"You look incredibly handsome today, it's flattering." You say, letting out a chuckle from Jaemin.

Shortly after you applied his lipstick, your eyes unintentionally met his brown ones. His eyes almost sparkling because of the natural sunlight coming into the room.

Suddenly, butterflies were being made in your stomach, your cheeks growing warmer and your heart beating quicker. You looked away in an instant, gulping the lump formed in your throat.

You let out a fake cough as you turn around. You let out a sigh, closing the lipstick and put it back in its original case. You turn around, nervously smiling at the gorgeous male.

"J-just come whenever you're ready."

Jaemin intensely stare at the camera, admiring how focused you look at your work. You are determined, inspired and happy with what you are doing, Jaemin liked that.

You, on the other hand, was freaking out. Although, you looked very focused, Jaemin's gaze was too strong for you to not get flustered. You have sworn so many times to not let his instemse gaze get to you, letting it pull your heartstrings.

Shortly afterwards, the photoshoot has ended. The sun has already set as well and it was also the time where Renjun and Donghyuck has went home.

"Very good job today, Jaemin-" Jaemin cuts you off, "Jaem or Nana is good." Jaemin smiles, you look at him with a playful smirk.

"Nana?" You say, "It's a cute nickname!" "Well, you're not wrong. Nana is pretty cute, unlike the model." You joked, Jaemin dramatically puts his hand on his chest, looking all hurt.

"I'm joking! I hope we continue to work like this, you can go home now." You say, turning off all the lights, expecting Jaemin to leave already.

However, Jaemin decided to help her clean as well. You got confused, freezing in your spot to look at Jaemin but he just smiled.

"Let me help, you worked very hard today as well, y/n." He widely smiles, showing his bunny smile for the very first time.

Your name coming out of his tongue? It sounded perfect.

Part nine || Sounded perfect.

Previous || main.m || next

synopsis: busy with the editing of your videos, you unknowingly took someone else’s order, not thinking it wasn’t yours. It only hit you when you took a sip of the extremely bitter coffee and realized it wasn’t yours.You talked to the barista, only to be approached by someone who called you a coffee thief after seeing his order in your grasp.

pairing: photographer!na jaemin x youtuber!fem reader

genre: fluff, crack, angst in some chapters, social media au, neighbors au, neighbors to lovers

warnings: swearing, a lot of teasing, childish arguments, inappropriate in some chapters

Updates: Monday/Wednesday/Friday/Saturday - 6:00 (UTC+03:00)

If you want to be on the taglist, just send me an ask or a dm!

@valntynelisa @cloudychannieee @yuuuumiiin @colpen @mxrcayong @celinine @lokideadontheinside

[kneamet]

Angel of cards (13/16)

Trigger Warning: no.

Summary: Joker, Mr. J, anarchist psychopath, Tom Hiddleston. He had many nicknames. Joker was Gotham’s most dangerous and insightful man, with sharp makeup and horribly memorable scars on his face in the form of a smile. He was absolutely crazy and deadly. No one knows his real identity and everyone is afraid of his cruel jokes. But what happens when he becomes obsessed with an ordinary girl?

She belongs to him. No one can take her away from him. Even The Batman.

Chapter thirteen: the Hospital

"Dear Bruce,

I'll be honest with you... I'm going to marry Harvey Dent. I love him and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. When I said that if Gotham didn't need Batman anymore... we can be together... I wasn't lying. But I'm sure the day will never come when you don't need Batman.

I hope I'm wrong. And if so, I'll be there. But as a friend. If you have lost faith in me, please keep your faith in people.

With everlasting love, Rachel, " Bruce whispered the last sentence softly, resenting the loss. There were gentle tears in his eyes. The hand clutched the paper on which the love words were written.

Why Rachel? Why her? Why exactly the love of his life, and not... someone else? Why did the Joker say this address and not some other address? Why did he name the place where Harvey is?

"Alfred?" Without taking his eyes off the window, his right eyebrow slightly raised, but still with an emotionless, steely voice that had an anxious and trembling note in it, Wayne asked.

In his peripheral vision, Bruce could see that Alfred had entered the room, dressed like a string. He couldn't see his expression or feel his feelings, but he knew that his beloved butler was also deeply sorry.

"Yes, Master Wayne?" asked Alfred, in his usual voice, with a hint of regret in it. He knew how much his master loved Rachel.

"Is it my fault?" Bruce asks with a sigh, feeling the paper get wet because of his sweaty palms from the fear of responsibility. "I was supposed to inspire good... not madness and death, " Wayne's always calm voice faltered. His jaw trembled slightly. A single tear rolled down her cheek.

"You inspired good, but you spat in the face of the Gotham mafia. Did you think there would be no consequences?" Alfred asked, still holding the bottle of wine in his old hands, which Bruce would probably drink in one gulp. "Life always gets worse before it gets better," he sighed again and stood up from his comfortable black chair, turning to Pennyworth.

"But Rachel, Alfred," he countered, raising his voice slightly. It was too much to bear. Will Bruce be able to cope with such grief on his own? Would the general darkness swallow him up?

"Rachel believed in what you stood for. Gotham needs you, " the butler said in a reassuring old voice, moving closer to his master. He just looked down.

"Gotham needs a real hero," a real one. Not like him. Gotham needs someone who can always defend their rights and protect Gotham in a truly legal way. "And I almost let that psycho blow him to hell," Bruce whispered softly, referring to the Joker.

Wayne's hand, which was already holding the piece of paper with the love and voluptuous words, only tightened and tightened. The Joker. This blood-pumping and frenzied lunatic who only thinks about how to destroy Gotham.

And what about his equally beloved Blake? The same person who could always support him when Rachel was away? And if Rachel, he sighed, could be subject to that darkness, he didn't notice it for Blake.

Still, what does this fucking nutcase want with his best friend's niece? Bruce licked his parched lips of honey that had become wet from the tears of the meek.

He must understand everything.

***

"She wanted to wait for me," Harvey mumbled, gripping his aching knuckles tightly. He could still see the pleas and screams of his beloved as she died. Rachel. He opened his mouth slightly in annoyance, pulling his lower jaw forward. Will he be able to live without everything now?

First, the Joker took away the first ray of light in his life — Blake. His beloved niece, whom he adored with all his kindred love. Would he have been able to break into the ranks of prosecutors if he hadn't been there? Hardly.

The second thing the Joker took from him was Rachel. His favorite, his sweetest girl, for whom he was willing to do anything. Exactly the same one. The one who always supported him, helped him.

He didn't listen to Gordon's useless talk. Even aside from the fact that he was a very nice person who really felt sorry for him, Harvey didn't want to see him right now. His obsessive and mumbling behavior only irritated him and injected more anger.

"I'm sorry about Rachel," he said suddenly, after a long silence that lasted about a mortal two minutes. Dent choked on his breath. "The doctor says you have a terrible pain, but you don't take your medication. That you refuse... from a skin graft, " knowing that it would not entail anything good, Gordon said quietly. Harvey only stifled a guttural growl. Idiot. Idiot. What kind of mumbling creature is this?

"You remember that name... what you gave me... When did I work for you?" Dent asked, turning to face Jim, who was standing with his head down and his brown-and-green cap in his hands.

He could see the flash of fear in the commissioner's eyes, but immediately suppressed. Is he afraid of him? But why? What's there to be afraid of? These burns on the second half of the face? Or what?

"How was it, Gordon?" he asked in a more severe voice, squinting his right eye.

"Harvey, I am..."

"Speak up," Harvey said in a steely and very stern voice, feeling an uneasy shiver run down his spine. He knew the nickname. Knew. "Speak up!"

"Two-face. Harvey is two-faced."

"Why hide who I am now?" the man asked, baring his teeth and swallowing.

"I'm sorry," Gordon said in a low voice, only clinging more tightly to himself. He didn't like being shouted at, even though he'd seen a lot of things in his life.

"No," came the steely reply again.

***

Damn Moroni! The Joker thought furiously. His thoughts were now just a hailstorm of thoughts and a chaotic chaos that couldn't calm down. He licked his dry, bland, cold lips with a rough tongue. He was walking briskly toward Harvey Dent's room.

Oh, yes, the very man he had almost killed, and whom Batman had saved just in time. What a good boy he is. He would have to do it again somehow, and arrange a soft and favorable game for his favorite toy.

Although to be honest, Batman was eerily boring. That mumbling, stern voice and thoughts that he couldn't even properly show and say. Were you sure he was Bruce Wayne, the son of rich parents?

The Joker clenched his fists. His nostrils flared wide and he drew in a sharp breath. He resisted the urge to grimace. He likes the smell of the hospital. Medical supplies and equipment. Terribly. It's disgusting. Antiseptics for surface treatment, autoclave, hospital food, quartz, and the patients themselves, who apparently rarely wash, also had an unpleasant smell.

The Joker pressed the black plastic doorknob, pushing open the white door and entering a room that was clearly designed for premium guests. He chuckled, licking his painted lips again. Sloppy.

He quickly looked around the room, trying to find something that could be used against him. His quick and deft eye caught only a small silver tray, but he was unlikely to be able to defend himself with it.

The Joker sat down on the brown chair next to Harvey's bed. What beautiful burns the fire had left him, the Joker grinned. It definitely suits him. And how he hadn't done that to himself before. He stifled a small laugh.

"Hi," the Joker drawled, grinding his teeth together and making an unpleasant sound. Harvey, of course, woke up. The man saw the body of the injured patient tremble slightly and suddenly Harvey turns his head, shuddering slightly and trying to stand up.

"You know..." the Joker drawled again, prolonging the intrigue, until suddenly he noticed the terrible look of his interlocutor. Why is he looking so surprised? Oh, yes, the nurse's costume. In general, he liked it.

The Joker, or rather Tom, always liked to dress in women's suits. He felt to the bottom sometimes... more complete, or what? Yes, I suppose so, considering that it was only his mother who took care of Tom at the time.

He pulled back his fake red hair, trying to mess it up even more. Although it would seem that much more? They were already in a very sloppy state.

"...I don't want any hard feelings between us, Harvey, " the Joker curled his lips in disdain, slightly pinching his nose and frowning. "When my angel..." The Joker liked this savage look of Harvey, who was ready to tear anyone up for his favorite girls in the form of Blake and Rachel. But now that neither one, that is, Harvey, nor the other, that is, Bruce, has a favorite, how will they cope now?

How good it was that he had an angel of his own.

"Blake!" said Harvey loudly. The Joker grinned imperceptibly and raised his hands in the air, as if admitting the truth of the other person.

"...my angel was kidnapped ... " the Joker continued, taking great pleasure in Dent's anger. "...I didn't kidnap her. More precisely, I kidnapped her, but not to kill her. I'll do you a huge favor... My angel, or yours, or maybe Bruce's, Blake, is still alive. And I confess from the bottom of my heart, I'm being a gentleman to her," he saw Harvey's displeased face.

What doesn't he like? His niece is alive and well, she is happy to spend time with him, what is the problem?

"By the way, I didn't detonate those bombs," the Joker said quickly, as if trying to get off the subject, raising his hands again and licking his lips. To be honest, it was not pleasant for him to go without his favorite gloves.

It's terrible to look at your scars. They're so awful, Tom thought, suddenly breaking into the Joker's thoughts. Go away, Thomas! You're in the way! And didn't the Joker tell you that it's not exactly the right time to show up? Yes, and that very moment of obsession.

"These are your people. Your plan!" accused Harvey loudly, trying to rebel again, but the Joker only let out a nervous laugh, after which Det immediately stopped moving, froze with his eyes wide open.

"Do I look like someone who has a plan?" the Joker asked in an insistent tone, arching an eyebrow. He chuckled. However, suddenly, his eyes widened and he quickly jumped out of the chair, lowering his shoulders down and taking quick steps towards the door.

Harvey asked when the Joker was already out the door, but still not closing the door. The man just smiled reassuringly.

"My angel will miss you, I know, but I promise I'll beat the crap out of her and she'll be my wife," the Joker said unctuously, watching as Harvey's eyes began to grow larger. He tried to do something again and began to move quickly, trying to free himself and stand up. Suddenly, a door slammed. "Goodbye, Harvey-ee-ee," the Joker sang.

The man began to walk quickly towards the main exit. Now the fun begins. I wonder if the media will like this show? But he didn't want to think about it now. His biggest concern right now was his angel. Oh, how she must have missed him... Hungry and bored for sure. Well, he would help her.

And now we need to kill Harvey Dent.

[punkscowardschampions]

Sick Kids

gotspoons: [A chatroom/forum situation for teens with invisible illnesses/disabilities, a resource that is recommended when you can't go to IRL groups for your health/they aren't in your area etc] gotspoons: Ticked one whole thing off my to-do list today, feeling like a champ 💪 also feeling like a 2-hour long nap, who here relates? 🥱 tigerbalm: 🖐 took my nap earlier & yet 😴💤 brainpain: 💕🛏 brainpain: long lasting relationship with my memory foam mattress gotspoons: There is NO limit on the number of naps necessary to make it through the day tigerbalm: or the number of abandoned to-do lists, what was your 1 thing? gotspoons: 🚿 looks like breakfast will have to wait tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: @brainpain I have so many memory foam pillows in every room of my house I'm basically a shareholder 🙌 brainpain: @tooexhaustedtolivevicariously same but I've got my fave, I call him Edgar tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 👏🙏 thank you for your service, Edgar tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: must name mine, only named the chariot 🦼 Charlton gotspoons: [ihatemyguts has entered the chat] gotspoons: A newbie, welcome! tigerbalm: 👋 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: love the username, what ails ya? tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: because this is the only place it's acceptable to ask 'what's WRONG with you?' but not the only place you encounter it, right brainpain: but you don't have to answer cos it's also somewhere where you're encouraged to 'express yourself' translation: be an arsehole if you want brainpain: if you don't go hardcore enough to get blocked brainpain: @fibrofog LMAO tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: the normies get to be rude as their default, and it is NOT encouraged to hit people with your cane, let me tell you ihatemyguts: Hi, everyone ihatemyguts: I'll do my best not to be an arsehole, even if my problem only lie directly above said orifice, which makes it a struggle not to be at times ihatemyguts: UC, first flare totally fucked over the family holiday 😬 sorry to that hotel toilet and my long-suffering parents and brother brainpain: newbie got jokes AND comedy timing ihatemyguts: 🚽 humour isn't all I have, I swear, though my life now does revolve entirely around the porcelain throne so it's no surprise I'm anally expulsive, thanks to Freud for that read tigerbalm: Freud's the perv, am I right? ihatemyguts: Totally ihatemyguts: and a big believer in the cocaine cure-all, which my Doctor just wasn't going for, shame tigerbalm: sounds like my sleazy uncle in every way tigerbalm: why does everybody get one? gotspoons: 😂 This chat is worth keeping my eyes open for gotspoons: every family is a play, and we're destined to be the 'sick kid' part gotspoons: other players react accordingly, from the 'can't look at you without crying' to the 'thinks you're making it up for some reason' brainpain: I vote we all go off script like @fibrofog 🤬🚨👿❗️ ihatemyguts: I guess I'm lucky in the sense that if anyone doubts the legitimacy of my illness, I can offer to show them the contents of my stomach/toilet bowl ihatemyguts: that shuts them up relatively fast, not had to go full 🐒 and throw it at anyone yet ihatemyguts: though I'm intrigued by the infamous @fibrofog, who are they, where, and why the infamy? Fill a girl in brainpain: the myth, the legend brainpain: so angry cos I turned 'em down for a romantic rendezvous ihatemyguts: No way! ihatemyguts: I'm glad that napping isn't the only action the memory foam is getting ihatemyguts: we're just like any other teens, right guys? 💁 tigerbalm: @brainpain you know the rules, fedora pics or it didn't happen! tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: you know what they say about disabled chicks, grateful 😉 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: #dontkillmeladies #iamnotasleazyuncle tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: don't think Mr. Fog was even a legit 🥄 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: total predator tigerbalm: if it was my uncle I'm SO sorry 😂 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: family who piggyback are THE worst tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: no, MY disability doesn't make YOU automatically WOKE for not drowning me in the tub or throwing me off the nearest high place I can access ihatemyguts: Honestly, I've never felt as simultaneously popular and unpopular in my life ihatemyguts: people 💬 a big acceptance game on the socials ihatemyguts: but no one wants to actually hang with the girl who can't eat shit and will spend half her time in the 🚽 gotspoons: Everyone's supportive until your disability gets in the way of THEIR perfect life even slightly gotspoons: imagine if they were one of us 👽 brainpain: speak for yourselves, my slurred speech makes me a hit with all my hard partying peers brainpain: get weird without a 🍹 ihatemyguts: hey man, don't let us drag you down 😎 ihatemyguts: if @fibrofog was feeling you, you're WAY too cool for this chat right now brainpain: never have, never will, baby 😉 brainpain: [inandout has entered the chat] gotspoons: OH MY GOD, that's a whole different story...my parents = you need to socialize more, live life! my parents = I don't know if this group is good for you, we think you're being encouraged to display and give in to even more problems gotspoons: thanks guys, you're literally making me more disabled with your disabledness 😂 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: It is a cult, well-known fact, leave your productiveness to society at the door and let's all lie here and feel sorry for ourselves, doesn't that sound like fun, kids? 😈 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and 👋 sup, inandout, not seen you in a while tigerbalm: my parents act like y'all are catching too! Would you like to cage me like a legit 🐅 or? inandout: baited breath inandout: out living that life like @gotspoons parents want tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: It'll be the Olympics next tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 🥇 Hero status with the normies, inspirational, dude inandout: if it'll make adults I've never met proud of me ihatemyguts: I can't believe I've not checked if I'm disabled enough for the paras, oh my God ihatemyguts: are there enough of us for a basketball team? brainpain: if ONLY my former lover were here brainpain: he's gotta be so tall ihatemyguts: Pining for @fibrofog is productive, yeah? ihatemyguts: can pine from my throne just fine brainpain: hands off newbie! I will throw mine brainpain: LOL imagine gotspoons: This group has always had a bias towards too many girls gotspoons: it's almost as if even disabled boys don't wanna talk about their feelings gotspoons: what say you @tooexhaustedtolivevicariously and @inandout? 🤔🤴🤴 inandout: I'd bring friends but you know us CF kids aren't allowed to congregate inandout: and what could I possibly have in common with someone who doesn't share my disease ihatemyguts: So, what is the deal with that, are some of us catching? ihatemyguts: 🐅 parents might have legit concerns inandout: cross infectious but only if you've got what's got me inandout: none of you do so you'll need another reason to turn down hanging out in person tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: my fedora is in the wash? inandout: Fibro could easily say it's my jewishness brainpain: but it's your hunkiness, babe 💪😉 inandout: I'd whistle back at you, Lauren but.... inandout: let's just say you leave me breathless tigerbalm: No names, Zach tigerbalm: it's like a rule ihatemyguts: uh-oh ihatemyguts: if you had a name, Tiger, in theory, like ihatemyguts: 🧐 tigerbalm: Robyn ihatemyguts: Pretty, you others may as well just come out with it now ihatemyguts: even if I'm a massive perv with mad hacking and tracking skills, I pinky promise I won't be able to find you from your given name alone brainpain: give us yours, newbie ihatemyguts: I will, but you'll think I'm giving you a fake one ihatemyguts: it's the gift and curse bestowed upon me at birth, along with potentially dodgy genetics brainpain: your life is 💩 brainpain: but still ihatemyguts: Zelda ihatemyguts: a reference I'm sure you won't get, 'cos you're so 😎 brainpain: I game, the stream was fibros fave hunting ground brainpain: no 💩 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Turns out being a nerd is way easy from the relative (barely but beats death, yeah?) comfort of the memory foam tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and Rich 👍 only in name, destitute until my next pittance comes in tigerbalm: she's not supposed to 🎮 -headaches -dizziness -light & sound sensitivity but she's a REBEL brainpain: 👌 MOM maybe I'd love a seizure, what do you know? ihatemyguts: I respect it ihatemyguts: gonna be fondly reminiscing over all those dirty, evil trigger foods when they're resecting my bowel 🖕🚔 brainpain: I had a life before I had a TBI, no offense to 👶 Zach inandout: none taken gotspoons: You're all being bad and I cannot support it 🤐😜 gotspoons: and I'm Rosie, I will just 😴 out on you all the time and yes, it's a fantastic excuse for when you don't wanna respond ihatemyguts: I'll commit all of those to memory in a normal, non-creepy manner ihatemyguts: but whilst I'm allowed to be a n00b, what do you all do for school? brainpain: I was nearly done before 🤯 which got me my pity pass ihatemyguts: pity with a point, at least, alright tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I'm waiting to start uni, absolutely no thanks to my school and their totally ableist refusal to make reasonable adjustments for accessibility tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: but fedora or not, I can be a real arsehole, a loud, persistent one at that tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: take my applause now brainpain: 😍 brainpain: take my 💘 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: as long as it's not heavy, m'lady brainpain: you could 💔 brainpain: hold the pieces tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 🧠 just isn't poetic enough brainpain: you know me gotspoons: you guys are so cute 🥰 and your broken brain is beautiful, Lauren gotspoons: me though, I'm barely struggling through school still, so many sick days, so much catching up to do 🥱 just thinking about it and therein lies the problem tigerbalm: my parents are trying to get online classes set up but my headteacher is like a million years old inandout: is he a demon? inandout: that was some scary fiction brainpain: or was it? brainpain: cue up those sound effects tigerbalm: if we're gonna talk about hypnosis, I'm out ihatemyguts: that was some serious creepy uncle vibes ihatemyguts: why did he need that level of control ihatemyguts: 🐘 in the room tigerbalm: I have a hippie cousin too, alternative therapy talk is so triggering ihatemyguts: I need a memoir re. your family sitch immediately 😂 ihatemyguts: you get the food purists coming @ me as if I just eat the right thing I'd be 'cured' tigerbalm: I'm working on a screenplay but I've never written a script before, I did find an online class for that easily though ihatemyguts: that's actually 😎 ihatemyguts: soz, Lauren brainpain: she's our lil busy 🐝 brainpain: step your game up, Zachary brainpain: supposed to be you, bro inandout: let Robbie have it, she has more sick days to fill up ihatemyguts: always have your 🥇 inandout: I can pin it on like a star when I got to school with the masses inandout: let them know I'm not what normal looks like ihatemyguts: only the others like you need to have the scoop on that though ihatemyguts: really fucks with the segregation in a big way inandout: “I feel like someone breathed new air into my lungs. I am not Abnegation. I am not Dauntless. I am Divergent.” ihatemyguts: Tattoo idea inandout: if I make it to 18, I'll do it ihatemyguts: how long you given yourself there? inandout: I turned 14 in may, the party was a full blown rager inandout: 🏥🎂 ihatemyguts: you like ruining events too? ihatemyguts: what a coincidence, don't just do family holidays inandout: if I can't blow up 🎈 nobody can ihatemyguts: 🥳 smug bastard inandout: I find that party blower offensive inandout: Rosie! That's a strike for the new girl ihatemyguts: Come to me when it's as culturally iconic as 💩 ihatemyguts: my next (first) tattoo right there inandout: how long are you waiting for that masterpiece? ihatemyguts: was 14 in March ihatemyguts: if we both make it, it's a date inandout: cool inandout: way I'm going that'll be my first one brainpain: now I feel like a pervy OLD uncle brainpain: thank you 👶s ihatemyguts: Lemme guess? ihatemyguts: I'm thinking 19 brainpain: spooky brainpain: I'm an Aquarius if anyone cares ihatemyguts: our 🌟s aligning might be too close to alternative for comfort tigerbalm: I'm a cancer, which is awkward tigerbalm: not my diagnosis ihatemyguts: at least it's memorable ihatemyguts: literally tacked on at the end, who's remembering 🎣 tigerbalm: I hope my 16th will be, for the right reasons tigerbalm: I've still got 5 months left to plan ihatemyguts: 🤞🤞🤞 tigerbalm: I'll add your name, the others know they're all invited ihatemyguts: that's so nice ihatemyguts: considering this introduction has given away nothing if not I am a terrible guest brainpain: another chat about online safety, Robyn, REALLY? 😏 brainpain: did my failed romance teach you nothing? ihatemyguts: if that isn't a challenge to send a photo and make you feel really weird ihatemyguts: why are we anon anyway, to stop us uprising? ihatemyguts: metaphorically if not literally, no offense xoxo brainpain: f it brainpain: I need you all to sign up to my stream to pay my bills anyways brainpain: [a selfie] ihatemyguts: @fibrofog, I get it brainpain: don't flock to tell me how sexy I am, that'd make it weird brainpain: plus, I know tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I picked an awkward time to check back in tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Rosie falls asleep and anarchy reigns? tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I'm proud brainpain: 💔 YOU haven't showered me with compliments, but hey tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: if I made it that easy you'd never be 💘 brainpain: 😩 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: to save any of the rest of you following such a hard act tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: [pic] tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: it's old but still a rough estimation of what I look like on a good day brainpain: 😍 brainpain: You're up, girl Z ihatemyguts: if you're all good looking though, I'm so mad ihatemyguts: [a selfie] ihatemyguts: 💩 inandout: I'm not good looking, I'll go next inandout: besides, Robbie would never bow to peer pressure and Rosie is out for the count inandout: [a selfie] tigerbalm: I am 🙀 tigerbalm: but everyone else has tigerbalm: [the shyest selfie of all time] ihatemyguts: 😻😻😻 ihatemyguts: seriously ihatemyguts: representation done us dirty on so many levels now ihatemyguts: when we're not invisible, why we not so gorgeous tigerbalm: there should be a blushing 😸 tigerbalm: that's the representation I need ihatemyguts: Call me out all you need but I was convinced this whole thing would be a lot more tragic than it has been inandout: tragic Tuesdays are a thing brainpain: no they are f-ing not brainpain: Zachary, just cos the new girl's in your age bracket + shares your 1st initial brainpain: she is not corruptible to you inandout: check us on our date, Lauren inandout: but watch your profanity brainpain: watch me give you a DIY lung transplant gotspoons: Excuse me gotspoons: what is going on here brainpain: nothing babe, it's all a dream gotspoons: 😖 gotspoons: if it was, none of you would be here gotspoons: sorry to say brainpain: we love you too brainpain: hit us with that sleepy selfie gotspoons: You know we aren't meant to give out personal info in the public forum gotspoons: if you choose to privately, that's okay though gotspoons: also I don't look any better for my shower now 🥴🤫 brainpain: you're a hottie gotspoons: 😘 gotspoons: well, my blog IS going to be featured on [insert disability awareness news moment] next month, so it isn't as if you couldn't find 🖼 if you really wanted gotspoons: [photo] tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Congrats, Ro tigerbalm: a genuine 👏👏👏 tigerbalm: I love your blog gotspoons: Ty, ty 🙇 gotspoons: it's the same as my username, if you wanna check it out, newbie 😄 brainpain: but have you been on the news for being the victim of a violent crime? 😏 just me LOL inandout: Lauren's trading on her fame again inandout: let Rosie have her moment ihatemyguts: pass along all relevant info and I'll 🤓 right up brainpain: @inandout 🍒😃💩👅 brainpain: enjoy the profanity, bro inandout: today's highlight tigerbalm: Zelda could take offence at that, Zach tigerbalm: I think it was nice to meet her ihatemyguts: Not at all ihatemyguts: though it's cultural appropriation to use that emoji without my permission, I'll let it slide 😉 ihatemyguts: nice meeting you all too tigerbalm: I really am gonna have to tell you about my family now ihatemyguts: All I wanted, tbh tigerbalm: everyone else knows this but my parents are white Americans & they adopted me and my brothers who are Native and African American respectively tigerbalm: & you saw me, the Korean girl so ihatemyguts: Ohh tigerbalm: it sounds like a show that should air on ABC family, right? tigerbalm: hella awkward ihatemyguts: I'm brainstorming (p. sure we're not meant to say that, soz) titles rn ihatemyguts: inappropriate question alert, verbal smackdowns appreciated if needed ihatemyguts: did they adopt you knowing you were disabled or is that a new development? tigerbalm: I was gonna call it building bridges but we can't really say that the USA has wronged Korea like the other nations tigerbalm: though they did adopt me knowing so maybe it still works 😄 ihatemyguts: it's got legs tigerbalm: 🦿 ihatemyguts: Ugh, must dash ihatemyguts: 🩸💉s tigerbalm: best of luck ihatemyguts: 💕 total pro by now 💪 brainpain: if I don't 👀 you on my stream I'll 🔎 you here in the forums inandout: a threatening goodbye inandout: can't compete tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 👋 Hope to see you back here, Zelda tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: though you wouldn't be the first person to 👻 after dropping in, so no pressure, @Lauren gotspoons: but actually, we're always here, some of us more than others, but you'll always find someone to chat to about the things you can't with non-spoonies ihatemyguts: ✌

[muses-archive]

On the cards #4: two to tango

Writer's block refuses to leave him, even with the change of scenery and chance encounter with Xiao a couple weeks ago. Instead, he's lying on his bed at 10AM on a Saturday, notebook open in some futile hope, scrolling through moodboards on his phone out of some desperation. He wants to write something , just what is the problem?

"Hey, you moping again?"

"I'm not moping , Tomo…"

"Okay, creatively barren then. Cafe didn't help?"

A sigh is enough of an answer. Tomo sits by his bed, and they remain in companionable silence for a few moments. "Oh yeah, did I mention I'm picking up kendo?" 

"... maybe?"

"Letting you know now. Going in, uh, 30 mins. There's this pair of twins. Really great form, inspiring."

"There's your competitive streak."

"If it gets me good exercise, I call it a win."

"And there's the meathead."

"It's practical learning!"

"Yes, go up to a girl and tell her all about your health sciences thesis, I'm sure she'll be very enamoured with you."

"You never know. I gotta go do my heteronormative stuff to counterbalance your fruitiness."

There's a lot of rattling of bags and keys as he throws together his things. Kazuha doesn't turn around, a smile forming on his face. He followed Tomo to Qixing primarily for economical reasons e.g. rooming together. They're not in the same department, but he's the same reliable guy he grew up with. He adds a mental asterisk: most of the time.

"You're bi." He's not even sure if he can be heard over the din.

"Damn straight!" A hearty guffaw answers him. "Don't wait for me!"

The aimless scrolling continues for a few more minutes, before he starts rolling out of bed. The light yukata is folded away, replaced by a black oversized hoodie for the weather. He picks up the (fake) red-framed glasses, a nice highlight with the maple leaf detailing. Miko might've gotten it to tease him for working at her little bookstore, but it does look pretty cute if he can say so himself. He packs the notebook for more attempts later, as he reads whatever self-publishing author has put up on the shelves. Maybe he should try sci-fi today? 

The ensemble is complete with red slacks, good ol’ sneakers and white messenger bag. Comfort levels achieved, Kazuha takes a lazy walk to Yae Publishing, taking some photos along the way. He’s not listening to the podcast in his ear, partially absorbing tips on how not to construct sentences. Not that anyone would know what his dumb sentences are if he doesn’t publish any. He ducks into an alleyway, humming on and off as he fishes out the keys to open the store. He’s not sure why Miko trusts him so much to handle the weekends by himself. Then again, the woman is wholly inscrutable. He’ll see her near closing time almost always with at least three envelopes bursting with manuscripts, and Kuroda lagging behind carrying his own stuff. 

To him, this is a little haven where he’s free to read. He’s not about to turn down a generous allowance for doing basically nothing. The bell at the door jingles when he pushes it open, the smell of books wafting out. He puts his things down behind the counter and gets to work, needing to do some dusting, wiping down, and airing out some of the most buried titles - which they’d probably donate eventually - before he can take his pick of the day’s read.  

His schedule here is really simple. If he’s hungry, Wanmin’s round the corner. It being the weekend, Xiangling will be around to make him something unique. If Xingqiu’s also there, he’ll follow Kazuha back to pick out a random title or two. He’s only ever seen Chongyun gawk at the shelves, overwhelmed by the choices before him. They remind him of himself and Tomo back in Inazuma, hanging out together. Though their paths will likely eventually diverge, the thought of them always keeping in contact warms his heart.

Tomo tells him his romanticism makes him sound really old at times.

If he has assignments, he’ll get them done here. Miko’s radio deep in the shop will play a selection of her classical music. He’s still waiting to get ambushed by a screamo some day, because he knows she has them. For the time being, he idly flips through a book on aviation history, barely registering the contents. The black and white photos do look like something he could try imitating for his class project, if needed. The ideas are yet to be forthcoming for actual writing, so he gives up for now and looks for something else. The bell pulls his attention before he can get up. Should he be surprised to see Xiao? Yes, probably. He notes that it’s a parka this time, also green.

“Welcome,” he manages. “Anything you’re looking for?”

His blank stare mirrors his inner thoughts. “You… work here.”

“I do, yes.” He tries not to laugh.

 “I guess that makes things easier,” he sighs. “Any recommendations on what to get for a really knowledgeable person? Also supposed to give something to the proprietress.” He holds up a pink paper bag. 

“Kinda tall order there,” he quips. “As for the stuff, Miko won’t be in until late. I can put it behind the counter though. I’ll be here the whole day.”

“The… whole day?” he sounds incredulous.

“These books aren’t gonna read themselves,” he makes a sweeping gesture. “It pays good if you want in,” he adds, jokingly.

The doubt remains on Xiao’s face as he hands over the bag. “Look around first while I see what’s in stock,” Kazuha suggests. Miko’s arcane tagging system just works, if you’ve been here long enough.

He’s not sure if he’s misheard Xiao grumbling about the premises being a fire hazard as he disappears into the stacks. What would you give to a person of such vague description? Non-fiction feels out of the question. "Xiao?"

He hears some books tumble, and a curse cut short as he pops his head out . "Yeah?" Xiao looks hilarious when flustered. Kazuha decides to keep this thought to himself.

"Help me narrow down search terms."

"... he finds everything interesting enough. He's… he likes curiosities, other worlds, I guess." He sounds so defeated. He sympathises.

"Okay, thanks. Don't worry about clearing up, I'll do that later. There's a way to stack them."

Kazuha commits Xiao's pained expression to his memory, today's shift proving highly entertaining. There are signs telling you to watch your step, but that can only do so much. He makes his choices of several standalone titles, vaguely aware that Xiao has not mentioned how many books he wants. He opts to not bother him again for now, lest a veritable avalanche of literature descends on the hapless man. Atlantis, El Dorado, Gensokyo, Terra, a collection of a traveler's short stories and their motorrad… he decides to take the other copy of the last for Thoma who may enjoy a fellow motorhead's descriptions.

Every book that finds a home here is expressly 'approved' by Miko, but only ever two copies each. As it were, the store is at bursting point. Her pet project magazine and other more commercial titles are at the main street branch and sees far more traffic - and indeed, profit. The smaller, cramped store is much to his preference, even if he does need to carefully locate and extract the books as though he were playing Jenga. Such is the method to her madness. 

Xiao's already escaped the stacks, looking frazzled. He can't help grinning, making the other flush some more. The ‘orientation’ on his first day left him in a similar state. How nostalgic. Kazuha lays out the books on the counter for inspection. After momentary hesitation, Xiao asks for a personal recommendation. "For whom?" 

"Just in general."

Sounds like it's more for himself, but Kazuha doesn't press further. "Take this one then. It's not very long, about a boy and a girl travelling their world that's gradually losing all names. It's more poignant than sad, I'd say."

If there's no name to attach to a memory, is it truly forgotten?

"Thanks… Kazuha."

"You're welcome! If you need more, I'll be working tomorrow too. Well, all weekends more or less."

"I'll think about it," he nods, finally leaving. He’d paid for all the books without further question. 

Words still don't flow on paper. Kazuha doesn't mind.

SPECIAL NOTES

The worlds I mean to reference is:

Touhou Project

Arknights' Terra (because I know no other Terra apparently)

Kino's Journey (itself having namedropped before in GI)

Tabi ni Deyou, Horobiyuku Sekai no Hate Made