#Like with this thing I’m writing now I know for a fact I haven’t overused anything… | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dandywonderous · 2 years ago

Text

ok I decided I wanted to do the “questions for fic authors” now

I’m procrastinating :) Warning that some of these answers link to NSFW fics or dip into mentions of NSFW subjects.

Original post here!

1. What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work?

Mm I would say either Tight Fit (FFXV) or Falling (And Rising Again) (Twisted Wonderland). Tight Fit in particular is my most well received work, but I feel like Falling gives a good idea of what I’m about in a third as many words. I tend toward hurt/comfort and romance (Tight Fit is explicitly Promptis) as well as friend/family feels. Also humor? I try to be funny anyway lol.

2. Top 3-5 Most Used Tags

1. Pre-canon (31)

2. Established Relationship (25)

3. Hurt/Comfort (9)

4. Angst (7)

5. Fluff (5)

UHHHH “Pre-canon” being the most prominent tag is probably the fault of me being in the process of moving all my One Piece fics from FFN over; I did a 30 fics challenge for Silvers Rayleigh and so unsurprisingly most of the fics from that collection were pre-canon. Otherwise this is pretty representative; I prefer established relationships to developing ones and as for H/C, angst, fluff... yeah that’s pretty much my whole brand right there.

I was really scared one of the kink tags would be in this list HAHAHA

3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?

Fucking making a bitch fall asleep to end a scene, does that count? LMAO

I know if you threw all my fics into a word cloud generator and saw what popped up some patterns would definitely emerge (and one of them would be overuse of the words “just” and “a bit,” I swear I’m trying to cut back!!), but I don’t think I’m self-aware enough to be able to tell you what my characteristic tropes are.

My writing style does tend to lean more on short descriptions and lots of dialogue, if that helps.

4. What detail in a fic are you really proud of?

The thing that I’m most excited about now is something in a fic that I haven’t put on AO3 yet so I can’t say that one hahaha.

I will say in Fresh Air, I made it explicit that Dedue is the first to realize something is wrong with Dimitri, but that it’s Byleth that pulls him out of his ensuing panic spiral, because I think it’s appropriate for both of their characters, something that one of my dear friends commented on later. It’s nice to see stuff like that getting caught!

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about a fic?

Hhhhhh hmm... actually I’d probably love to go into a way too long ramble about the finer points of the AU I’ve created for Say You’ll Stay With Me but I ACTUALLY NEED TO FINISH THAT FIC before said finer points even become relevant so... I won’t say it here. I can’t really think of anything else though.

6. What’s one fact about the universe of a fic that you didn’t get a chance to mention in the fic itself?

We only get Aomine’s perspective in Hold On To Me so we all missed Himuro getting ready to kick his ass for breaking his little brother’s heart. Kagami talked him out of it though, no worries.

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of?

I know I need to get back to both fics but I really like the worldbuilding I’ve been doing in Say You’ll Stay With Me as well as Justice, especially in the latter it’s been fun to think about how Akechi’s personality changes the story when he’s in what is usually Akira’s place.

8. What song would make a great fic?

Someone have your character break out of prison the guy in the song Ol’ Red does LOL

9. How do you find new fic to read?

I haunt certain tags, especially specific character/pairing tags. I’m rarely in main fandom tags unless it’s just a really small fandom. More often though I just avidly refresh the tags of the characters and/or pairings I’m most into. The only real exception is the Kink I’m Trying Not To Name in this post, I haunt that tag too lol.

Btw when I say pairing tags I also mean gen relationship tags (ones with &), like right now I’ve been haunting the Donatello & Leonardo (TMNT) tag. So be sure even if you’re a gen writer that you’re using relationship tags! We’re out here!

10. How do you decide what to write?

The way I usually describe it is that an idea has to “crystalize” for me to decide it’s something that I want to write. Basically, that means if I can not just think out the general trajectory of the story but also can see certain scenes really clearly in my mind, including actions and dialogue I want to write. It doesn’t mean I have everything planned out when I start (I’m a pantser for sure), but if I don’t have those certain touchstones of scenes that are already really solid in my brain I know I won’t be able to write the fic, even if I love the baseline idea.

Sometimes though even if a single scene has really crystalized for me, if I can’t get the bits and pieces to get there to form then I still won’t be able to do it. I would like to start doing more of what I used to do back in my RinRei days, though, and just put stuff like that on tumblr, when there’s something that’s really clear in my mind but not what goes around it. I did this a bit with AzuJami recently but maybe I should do it more often...

11. Are you partial to a certain character/pairing or are you more equal-opportunity?

OOOH I definitely have biases and it shows. Usually I have a favorite character I brainrot about the hardest and they’re all I want to write for.

That said, if I really really love a fandom I can still branch out from time to time, if the mood strikes me. Right now the fandoms I have the most fics for are One Piece and Free!, so they’re the most representative samples. Most often I wrote about Sanji and Rei respectively, so if you look through my fic for those fandoms you’ll see those names most often, HOWEVER especially for OP I wrote about plenty of other characters and pairings that didn’t include Sanji too, and I did so here and there for Free! as well.

I think as I’ve gotten older and just had less time and attention span to spare on writing, I’ve gotten more selective, and so usually I spend the biggest amount of my time writing for the pairings and characters I really care about to the exclusion of others, which is why my OP library (written almost entirely while I was in high school) is more varied (because I was probably cranking out 10K to 20K words a week) but my TWST library is exclusively Azul focused. It’s not that I don’t like other TWST characters/pairings (I actually have a partially finished LeoRuggie fic sitting in my google docs), it’s just that I only have so much energy lol.

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

HMMM... I don’t know if my tastes have changed THAT much over time but I’m more open to certain kinks than I used to be, especially like omegaverse stuff and pet play. As far as SFW tropes go though I can’t really think of anything in particular.

13. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

I’m not interested in slow burn romance anymore. If they aren’t kissing by the 20K word mark I’m out of here.

Also character death. There are ways to write character death well, but most of the time it feels like cheap shock value to try and manipulate me into crying.

14. Are there any tropes you would only read if written by a trusted friend or writer?

The two above, mainly. There’s really good ways to do both but you gotta earn my trust before you do it to me lol

15. What’s your favorite AU you’ve written?

Again probably the one for Say You’ll Stay With Me, which is FFXV without the prophecy and also the war ended earlier, and also Prompto never got out of Niflheim. It’s been fun to examine how this changes the story.

16. What’s an AU you would love to read/have read and loved?

I’m not HUGE on AUs but I’m really partial to MT!Prompto fics, and especially I would rec Poor Wayfaring Stranger by lithos_saeculum and Running Behind by Asidian.

I also really loved (do you take this jerk to be) your one and only by jatersade (ATLA); a Zukka fic where the war ended early and Zuko is arranged to be married to Yue.

17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it?

Um I don’t know if I would be the only one to appreciate it but a fic has been kicking around in my head where Jamil is turned into a genie and forced to serve the Asim family until his lamp is bought by Azul. It’s much more complicated than that but that’s the basics.

Most of my “AUs” that I like most still take place in the same world but mess around with the events of the timeline or base mechanics of the story, in case that wasn’t clear by literally all the AU fics I’ve listed so far being ones that are still set in their original world lol.

18. If you wrote a sequel to a fic, what would it involve?

I always had an idea for a sequel to... um... okay well this involves The Kink That I Was Trying Not To Name.

I had an idea for a sequel to Breaking The Seal (Sk8) that I never wrote (mind the tags, pls). I won’t get into the specifics here but I guess if you want to know, send me an ask LMAO.

It would have been real good too... maybe I’ll still write it one day if I can get myself to rewatch Sk8.

I also wanted to write a sequel to I Keep On Hopin' (We'll Eat Cake By The Ocean) where Azul and Jamil dip into dom/sub and obedience kinks to fulfill both Jamil’s desire to control and his desire to be praised, in a safe and fun way that is good for both of them! And I still do want to do that eventually.

19. If you wrote a spin-off of a fic, what would it involve?

I don’t really want to write spin-offs of any of my own fics that I can think of. Sometimes I read someone else’s fic and want to take some idea there and spin-off into my own thing but I always feel bad about it so I just leave it for an imagine spot for myself and don’t actually do it, lol.

20. If you wrote a prequel to a fic, what would it involve?

I had an original idea for an AzuJami fic that basically turned into what happened before I Keep On Hopin’ (We’ll Eat Cake By The Ocean), but in the end I kept getting frustrated with it so I didn’t write it. But basically it would have centered on Azul dealing with his body image issues while trying to have sex with Jamil the first time, even without his real body involved.

21. If you wrote a “missing scene” in a fic, what would it be?

I would have had them dance in Masked Faces, Gloved Hands if I’d known they were going to dance in the rhythmic!!

22. Who is your favorite character in your fics, and why?

I’m going to change this to which characters I have the most fun writing for in my fandoms, and those are Azul (TWST), Flayn (FE3H), Ryuji (P5), Prompto (FFXV), Rei (Free), Karkat (HS), Kagami (KnB), Jack Spicer (XS), Theseus (Hades), Reki (Sk8), Donnie (ROTTMNT), Usopp (OP), Nozomi (Love Live), and Marius (ToT).

Two of those fandoms aren’t on my AO3 because I never moved their fics from my tumblr... I should fix that LOL.

23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to?

HMMM... I guess I wanna write some fuck or die at some point but I need a canon where I won’t feel bad for doing it.

24. Are there any easter eggs in your fics, and if so, what are they?

Probably plenty in my OP fics but I’m too tired to think of them now... I used to have an encyclopedic knowledge of OP but I’ve forgotten literally everything in the last decade lol.

I don’t really go out of my way to add easter eggs in my more recent fics, though I do reference things from time to time.

25. What other websites or resources do you use most often when you write?

Fan wikis, medical sites, official subtitles if I can get ahold of them.

26. Would you rather write a fic that had no dialogue or one that was only dialogue?

I have done both! I’d probably rather do no dialogue though since it gives you more freedom, but dialogue only can be fun especially for more comedic fics, imo.

27. How long did it take to write [insert fic]? Describe the process.

This one is hard to answer because how long it takes me to write a fic depends on a lot of stars aligning at once. If I’m sufficiently motivated, have time, and really feeling the brainrot, I can do it pretty quickly - writing a 2K-3K word fic in a single session, usually about 5 or so hours, is something I’ve done many times.

Usually I get all my actual writing done in short bursts like that, rather than working steadily on it over a long time. Like, on all the fics I haven’t updated in too long, the hold up is trying to get myself in the right headspace to do it. If I’m not then I’m just not, or otherwise I could wrap it up pretty quick.

Trust me, no one gets more frustrated with my brain than me.

28. Does anyone read your fics before you post them?

I have a friend who reads some of them when we share fandoms, but she isn’t really a beta (though she’ll point out obvious mistakes where she sees them). I’m too impatient for a beta reader honestly, I just want to get the fic written and then get it away from me asap, lol.

29. Playlist for fics?

I don’t do playlists but I’ll do something different here and talk about the recent fics where I used song lyrics for the title, and why I picked that song.

I Keep On Hopin’ (We’ll Eat Cake By The Ocean) (Cake By The Ocean by DNCE): pretty self-explanatory if you know what the fic is about, I think (that is, octopus sex in the water). I’ve never truly understood the metaphor about “cake by the ocean” as opposed to “candy on the dry land” but it still felt appropriate here, lol.

Hold On To Me (Unsteady by X Ambassadors): Hold on to me, because I’m a little unsteady~ It’s an immediate reference to Kagami being paralyzed, but more importantly about the turmoil Aomine is going through as he tries to navigate his new relationship after the thing he THINKS is keeping them together is gone (but not really).

Say You’ll Stay With Me (Oh, Pretty Woman by Ray Orbison) : this is a pretty woman AU, the song is pretty woman, yep that’s it

Collar Full of Chemistry (From Your Company) (Collar Full by Panic! at the Disco): This is my P3/P5 crossover AU that is kind of a Ken/Akechi fic and kind of an Akeshu fic. I went with a reference to this song because of “I won’t leave any doubt or stone unturned” and “if you’re gonna be the death of me that’s how I wanna go,” since so much of the fic is Ken trying to figure out Akechi’s deal, and also, at the end, save him from himself.

30. Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone?

Any time I write a new kink I step out of my comfort zone a bit haha but the biggest one was probably Sick Day (Free!, NSFW, PLEASE READ THE TAGS), which was the first time I put my foot into writing something like this but I had a great time, and really got more into exploring kinks like that after. Similarly with Peace and Quiet (Free!, NSFW), which is the first dom/sub fic I ever wrote.

Also it's kind of funny to think back on how Scoot Over (Free!, NSFW) was my first smut fic, and it's a freaking fivesome, because I don't do anything by halves I GUESS.

I wish I had non-smut answers for this but I don’t, sorry LMAO.

31. What’s your ideal fic length to write?

3K-5K words, it’s what I usually shoot for when I’m doing one shots. For chapters in a fic, between 5K and 8K words. But I go over or under depending on what I have to say for that particular thing.

32. What’s your ideal fic length to read?

It depends! Usually I only click on fics that are at least 1.5K words as one shots and at least 3K words for chapter fics (if they’re only on their first chapter). And I usually avoid fics that go over 50K words, unless it’s something that really grabs me. This is pretty arbitrary and every author is different but I usually think if that’s the kind of word mileage you’re getting then you’re properly fleshing out your story, or at least in my estimation. But I also don’t have patience for long fics, except in certain cases.

33. Asking about chapter lengths, which I answered above not aware this question was coming, oops!

34. What aspects of your writing are inspired by/taken from your real life?

Very few lol... I don’t write about situations that are similar to my life very often (I mean I don’t even date aldjf;ad).

I was a competitive swimmer from elementary school through high school but almost none of my free fics were actually about swimming so my experience didn’t really help me there LMAO.

35. What aspects of your writing are completely unlike your real life?

/waves at last question

36. Do you visualize what you read/write?

No because my brain doesn’t really do visuals at all. I do hear the characters’ voices when I’m writing dialogue, and usually if I can’t actually imagine the line delivery a voice actor would give doing the line I’ll try to rewrite it.

37. Promote one of your own “deep cut” fics (an underrated one, or one that never got as much traction as you think it deserves).

The Patron Saint of Sneaking Around (Ferdinand/Flayn, NSFW) is a fic I did recently for a smut challenge. I know it didn't get a lot of traction because Flayn ships aren't super popular but I had such a good time writing it and I'm really happy with how it turned out. Also, Love to Go Around (Rin/Rei/Sousuke, NSFW) is one I wrote years ago but I still really liked how it turned out. I don't normally enjoy cheating as a plot point but for this fic I really enjoyed playing with the concept.

38. Did any of your fics get surprisingly popular?

So not so much anything I’ve written recently, but my OP fic Room for Two was really popular back on FFN (I still haven’t moved it to my AO3 account, no link because I’m lazy). It helped that it was Sanji&Zoro-centric (besides being a juggernaut ship they were also a juggernaut gen pairing), but also I went with a somewhat unique concept, that Zoro’s consciousness was removed from his body and put in Sanji’s - not a full bodyswap but more body-sharing. It’s still probably the longest fic I’ve ever written (actually Kiss Kiss may be longer but I’m too lazy to go look) and the most successful. I still get reviews occasionally back on FFN for it and I’ve been asked to bring it to AO3 (I will! eventually!).

Tight Fit is my most popular fic on AO3, though it was never quite as popular as Room for Two. Still it was Promptis (popular FFXV pairing) and also Prompto Whump, which is a lot of people’s favorite genre of FFXV (mine too!).

39. Is any aspect of your writing process inspired by other writers or people?

I do spend a lot of time reading writing advice or watching videos on writing, but there’s not really one particular author I try to style myself after. Though I will cannibalize other quirks of people’s writing if I want to do that too, lol. Like if someone has a really good style for descriptions I’ll try to examine why I like it and then think about it in my own writing.

40. Do you tend to reread fics?

I reread fics all the time. What’s the point of bookmarks if you’re not gonna reread!

Also maybe this is conceited of me but I reread my own fics constantly. I mean, I am writing things that are tailored to what I want to see, so. I’m just scratching my own itches haha.

41. Link a fic that made you think, “Wow, I want to write like that.”

I already linked lithos-saeculum’s fic Poor Wayfaring Stranger further up the post (in the AU questions). Their writing is INCREDIBLE, and they really put a lot of thought into everything that goes into that fic. I think about it all the time.

For a new one on this post, I love the snappy dialogue in The Old College Try by ashemarie is so snappy and fun and in character. I aspire to be so good!

42. Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason?

I really appreciate the comments that tell me what they liked or what worked about my fics, It helps me know what to keep up in the future.

But my favorite comment will always be the one where my friend said my birthday fic for her healed her with black magic <3 She thought I wouldn’t write the pairing BUT OBVIOUSLY I WOULD.

43. skipping this because I don’t take prompts sorry

44. and same for this

I used to take prompts a long time ago and sometimes I still throw up prompt lists for friends on the other social media I use, but in general I won’t be motivated to write something unless I come up with the idea.

45. What’s something that you’ve improved on since you started writing fic?

/stares into the middle distance “Sometimes it feels like I’m never improving”

Uh but being more kind to myself, I’ve really worked on cutting down on unnecessary filter words and spending more time on the more important stuff, like feelings and descriptions.

46. Do you prefer writing on your phone or on a computer?

I usually write on my laptop, but sometimes I’ll pull up my googledocs on my phone just to read over a WIP and then I’ll start writing on it if I feel like it.

47. I’m skipping this one because it confuses me!

48. What was the last fic you read? Do you recommend it?

It was And... We're Off! (ROTTMNT) by SailorSaysAhoy and I would! It's very cute. Just brother love, which I love to see! Also I love Donnie and Mikey being little shits to their older brothers (when they deserve it, which they did).

49. What are you currently working on?

“Hey, wait, does that mean we can ask you to build anything we want?”

“What-”

Raph gasped, pumping his arm excitedly in his seat. “I can finally get my skate hawks!”

“That’s not-”

“Pizza oven pizza oven pizza oven!” Mikey cheered, throwing his arms up in elation.

“Hey, stop interrupting, this is <i>my</i> speech!” Donnie folded his arms, glaring down at them. “Why are you all assuming I’ll lose, anyway?”

“Uh, no offense, Donnie,” said Raph, “but you always lose.”

“I’m <i>literally</i> standing on the winner’s podium! Right now!” He waved the medal. “Do you not see this!?”

((Excuse my html marks. I like doing html instead of rich formatting lol))

#writing #fanfiction

2 notes · View notes

dankusner · 4 months ago

Text

How Winona Ryder Made It to the Other Side

It is a warm afternoon in late spring, and Winona Ryder and I are walking through the Oakland Cemetery, a Victorian-style graveyard located in the center of Atlanta.

Large oak and magnolia trees shade the manicured paths as we stroll between the grand mausoleums and tombstones.

Ryder is wearing a straw bonnet, with a well-worn Leonard Cohen T-shirt under a black chore jacket that has a pin of a cartoon drawing of Jim Jarmusch affixed to its lapel.

Her eyes are rimmed with eyeliner, and her sneakers are splattered with paint.

Ryder is the first to admit that the word icon has become overused:

“Everyone uses it now, and they don’t know what a real icon is,” she says.

But she looks, as she always has, like the poster child for Gen X.

She defined cinema in the ’90s, embodying both a romantic moodiness and an idealistic dissatisfaction that few other actors have rivaled.

Gazing at the final resting places of others tends to prompt questions of longevity.

Ryder stops to read from a headstone:

“Life so fully lived, haven’t had to wait. Gone fishing.”

She tells me she has a deep admiration for the late actress Ruth Gordon, who won an Academy Award when she was 72 for Rosemary’s Baby and worked well into her 80s.

In past interviews, Ryder has said that she’s ready for her “Ruth Gordon years,” an allusion to a lengthy career that many who enter the industry as ingenues, as Ryder did to some extent, rarely pull off.

When she was 13, she auditioned for the role of Rina in what would become her first film, Lucas, which came out in 1986.

Rina, she recalls, was written in the script as unattractive.

This didn’t deter her.

“I wasn’t hurt by it,” she says. “I was more like, ‘Oh, cool. Can I be Ruth Gordon?’ ”

For the past six months, Ryder has been living in Atlanta, where she’s filming the final season of Stranger Things, with her boyfriend, Scott Mackinlay Hahn.

This September, she will star in the new Tim Burton film Beetlejuice Beetlejuice, the long-anticipated sequel to Burton’s original 1988 film, Beetlejuice, reprising the role of Lydia Deetz, which she first played when she was just 15 years old and helped catapult her to stardom.

Ryder is telling me how she found her way back to playing Lydia, who, like Ryder, is now a middle-aged woman.

“I felt bad for her,” she explains. “I feel INCREDIBLY LUCKY to have been able to LIVE this LIFE—however intense and overwhelming it got.”

In Beetlejuice Beetlejuice, Lydia is a pill-popping widow.

She hosts a television show called Ghost House, thanks to the fact that she still possesses the uncanny ability to see and speak to the dead.

She’s dating—but not in love with—her obsequiously slimy manager, Rory (played by Justin Theroux).

Her teenage daughter, Astrid (Jenna Ortega), hates her;

she finds Lydia’s gift a cheap gimmick, largely because the one person Lydia can’t contact from the afterlife is Astrid’s father, who tragically died in a fishing accident.

Life, it seems, did not quite go as planned for Lydia Deetz. “My mom,” Astrid declares at one point, “is a very broken person.”

Parts of Lydia remind Ryder of a younger version of herself. “In my 30s, I had two disastrous relationships that were—they weren’t wrong, but this was before you would ever think to Google someone,” she says.

“When I look back, I’m like, ‘What the hell was I thinking?’ I was dating the type of person who only lets you know a few weeks in that they’re in a relationship with someone else. And you’re just like, ‘What the fuck?’ ”

Not too long ago, Ryder read through her diaries from that period of her life.

“You clearly write when you’re depressed or upset. I tend to not write when I’m really happy,” she says.

“I was going through them and just asking myself, ‘How?’ I was clearly trying to deal with …” Ryder trails off. “It was very sad. I was clearly trying to believe the best and to give grace to myself. But I was taking care of everything but myself.”

Ryder’s 30s were a well-publicized rough patch.

After a meteoric rise in her teens and 20s, landing roles in era-defining films like Heathers, Mermaids, Reality Bites, and Little Women and working with renowned directors such as Martin Scorsese and Francis Ford Coppola, Ryder was burnt out.

Work had been nonstop, and the celebrity that followed put her personal life in the center of an unrelenting spotlight.

Following her 2001 arrest for shoplifting and the tabloid scrutiny that followed, she retreated from the spotlight—a period that, for Ryder, was as much about regrouping as it was stepping out of a life she’d inhabited since her teens and figuring out what she wanted out of it all.

It wasn’t until she played an aging ballerina in Darren Aronofsky’s Black Swan in 2010 that she finally felt her career had turned a corner.

“That was a very liberating thing, because I was playing my age. … And I think in a lot of people’s minds, that really helped. I sort of graduated,” she told The New York Times in 2016.

Now 52, Ryder is in a much different place in her life and work, inhabiting more of an elder-stateswoman role.

She refuses, for example, to wear heels on the red carpet, preferring to style herself (a rarity in Hollywood), either hiding her boots with a floor-length dress or incorporating them into her outfit.

“I actually made a conscious decision, maybe six years ago,” she says.

The Winona Book, published last year by Idea Books, features candid Polaroids of her by Robert Rich, the former vice president of public relations for Marc Jacobs, who became her close friend and whose basement office below the Marc Jacobs store in New York’s SoHo neighborhood was a haven for celebrities looking to remain undetected.

The book achieved a cultlike status and sells for up to $300 on eBay.

She has been with Hahn, founder of the sustainable organic-cotton company Loomstate, for the past 14 years.

(The two met at the premiere of Black Swan, when Hahn, who failed to recognize Ryder, complimented her for her work in The Fifth Element, a film in which she never appeared.)

Hahn, who joins us during our cemetery walk, is handsome and soft-spoken.

He has a distinctly grounding presence, serving, seemingly, as a kind of ballast to Ryder’s more windblown life as an actor.

“He’s so great. He really is. I’m really lucky,” Ryder says.

They will soon return to either New York City, where they rent, or Los Angeles, where she owns a house.

She and Hahn want to move, but they’re not entirely clear as to where.

“She definitely HELPED me FEEL less ALONE,” says Jenna Ortega.

Ryder is nervous about the upcoming election.

Her parents—established writers and left-wing intellectuals—decamped from Northern California, where Ryder was raised, to Canada after George W. Bush was re-elected in 2004.

Uncertainty looms on the horizon.

Ryder—who can careen from topic to topic in delightful digressions—lists why: the college-campus protests, Jared Kushner’s statement about developing Gaza, the carceral system, and Joe Biden’s chances of beating back Trump in the general election.

“It’s just a scary time,” she adds.

Soon after the first Beetlejuice premiered, there were rumors that Burton was at work on a sequel.

Supposedly, a script for Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian once existed.

“Beetlejuice Goes to Outer Space, Beetlejuice does whatever,” Burton says.

“There’d been talk about it, but I never really understood why it was popular. And this was when people didn’t talk about sequels.”

In the intervening decades, though, Ryder and Burton kept in touch, meeting secretly to discuss making a second Beetlejuice.

“There were a lot of times my agents didn’t know that I was meeting up with him,” Ryder says.

Beetlejuice tells the story of Barbara and Adam Maitland (played by Geena Davis and Alec Baldwin), a young couple living in Winter River, Connecticut, who tragically die in a car accident only to discover, to their surprise, that they have become ghosts.

Their peaceful country home has been sold to the obnoxious and ostentatious Deetz family, which includes Charles, a wealthy real-estate developer;

his wife, Delia, a sculpture artist (played brilliantly by Catherine O’Hara, whose future husband, Bo Welch, was the production designer);

and Charles’s daughter from his first marriage, Lydia.

The Maitlands call upon an ancient trickster demon named Beetlejuice (Michael Keaton) to help scare the Deetz family away, as their extravagant renovation and garish art collection have obliterated all calm and happiness from their (now dead) existence.

As a director, Burton is a first-class world builder whose imaginative leaps have kept him distinctly out of step with his peers.

Unlike other cult films from the 1980s and ’90s that have developed a dated patina over time, Burton’s work often feels suspended in another universe altogether.

The world of Beetlejuice exists in a strangely gothic contemporary America, one where ghosts blast Harry Belafonte at full volume and where a demon can don a black-and-white-striped suit that looks like it could have been designed by the Antwerp Six.

As Lydia puts it so well in the first film: “I myself am strange and unusual.”

Burton had made his directorial debut a few years prior with Pee-wee’s Big Adventure.

Ryder was a virtual unknown, with just Lucas under her belt, a role for which she had dyed her hair black.

It’s a style choice she has more or less maintained throughout her career.

If you watch Lucas, you can see flickers of Lydia Deetz in Ryder’s Rina:

Both are young women in possession of an innate sense of cool.

“Tim’s a terrific caster,” says Keaton. “He doesn’t always get credit for that, but if you look through his films, he always casts really, really well, and that includes Winona.”

“When I met Winona, she reminded me of how I felt as a teenager,” says Burton.

“And she’s got what I love with certain actors. She can say something with just her eyes. … There’s a soul coming out. So without dialogue, without anything, there’s something there. It’s why you make movies.”

“Everyone wanted to be Lydia after watching the first film,” says Ortega.

“She’s so self-assured and smart and ahead of her time.” Indeed, Beetlejuice unlocks a deep truth about what it feels like to be a teenager and what it’s like to grow up in an increasingly alienating world. When Lydia discovers that she can see ghosts, it reveals a kind of supernatural exceptionalism to her, which is something most teenagers hope for in their lives: for something to rescue us from the banality of the ordinary. That is the appeal of Lydia Deetz. But it took Ryder to give Lydia a particular vulnerability, a kind of softness and naivete that endears her to everyone. “I feel like MOIRA ROSE of Schitt’s Creek and DELIA DEETZ are SISTERS”

As Ryder recalls, her first encounter with Burton was unassuming.

That day, she strode onto a soundstage at Culver Studios to meet Burton, with her father waiting for her in their car. Character actors were on their lunch breaks, a woman was dressed in a corset, and someone else was in an animal costume with the head removed.

“I was sitting there, and this guy came in holding a folder, who I thought was a messenger or something. We started talking about Edward Gorey. About half an hour into this conversation, I feel like I’m making a friend, and I ask him, ‘Do you know Tim Burton? This is his office, right?’ And he went, ‘Well, that’s me.’ I didn’t know that directors could look like Tim. He was 27. Immediately, I was like, ‘Oh, shit. I’m sorry. Do you want me to read?’ He told me no. I remember feeling like ‘Oh, God, did I blow it?’ I had this fear when I got up to leave, and I was like, ‘Hey, man, it was really great meeting you. Good luck, this sounds really great.’ I added, ‘If you want, I can come back.’ But he told me that he wanted me to do it. That had never happened. I’d never been offered a part without a reading for it or on the spot like that, ever.”

“She probably thought I was some kind of weird stalker,” says Burton.

“But I had that effect on people. I didn’t speak very well, so people didn’t understand what I was saying. In fact, they still don’t. But again, that’s why I feel like we connected, because I didn’t scare her away. She ultimately got it and got who I was.”

Beetlejuice was a resounding success.

It would also form the beginning of a sustained relationship between the director and both Keaton and Ryder, with Burton casting them in his subsequent films.

Keaton would play the titular Caped Crusader in 1989’s Batman and 1992’s Batman Returns, and Ryder would star as Kim Boggs in Edward Scissorhands in 1990, opposite her then-boyfriend, Johnny Depp.

She describes working with Burton as a kind of “telepathy,” one where the director doesn’t finish his sentences and gestures his intentions but she still, somehow, understands perfectly what he’s trying to convey.

“He could be like, ‘Maybe, I think, yeah. You know?’ And I’ll be like, ‘Yeah, totally. I know.’ ”

Did they understand they were making a cult film?

Something that would spawn a Broadway musical and an endless parade of Halloween costumes, memes, imitations, and subtle references (“I do feel like Moira Rose of Schitt’s Creek and Delia Deetz are sisters,” says Ryder)—an unrelenting obsession the world over?

“We weren’t quite sure what we were making,” recalls Keaton. “We just knew this guy had something.”

“I THINK, ‘What if I just HANG IT UP?’ And then you start THINKING of ALL THE PEOPLE that you would WORK with if they CALLED, and that’s NOT really RETIRING. That’s just BEING AVAILABLE.”

We retreat from the afternoon heat to the shade of a large magnolia tree whose long, jointed branches are something out of a Burton set.

Hahn points out the tombstone of the golfer Bobby Jones, which is decorated in white golf balls, and later we stumble upon Kenny Rogers’s grave.

Hahn plucks a magnolia flower from the tree’s bough and encourages us each to smell it.

The scent is floral and citrusy, with a darker, more vegetal sensibility.

I ask Ryder about her Jarmusch pin.

In 1991, she played a young taxi driver in his film Night on Earth.

Working on a big show like Stranger Things can be draining, she admits, though she’s ever grateful for the opportunity.

“And then I think, ‘What if I just hang it up?’ And then I think, ‘Well, if Jim wanted me to do something, I would do it,’ and then you start thinking of all the people that you would work with if they called, and that’s not really retiring. That’s just being available,” she says.

We are near a large Confederate memorial, and Ryder begins musing on history, war, and post-traumatic stress disorder.

When did the term PTSD first appear, she wonders?

“I know it was once called shell shock,” she says.

We discuss how it is more commonly understood today that people other than veterans can have PTSD.

Ryder is quick to acknowledge the unparalleled violence and trauma of war.

Still, our conversation somehow reminds me of what Ortega tells me about Ryder, how the actress was incredibly generous with her when they first met, which was right around the time Ortega’s own star was taking off with her portrayal of Wednesday Addams in Burton’s 2022 Netflix series Wednesday.

“She definitely helped me feel less alone,” says Ortega.

“It’s a very isolating experience and a scary one. Being able to speak to somebody who had witnessed that firsthand, maybe even more, was a great source of comfort for me, and I can’t thank her enough for that.”

These days, Ryder is a self-professed Luddite and is not on any social media, maintaining a blissful ignorance of what the public has to say about her.

Earlier this year, Kendall Jenner wore a 1999 archival Givenchy dress designed by Alexander McQueen to the Met Gala, claiming she was the “first human” to ever wear it.

Quickly, though, photographs circulated online of Ryder wearing the dress the same year it was designed in a photo shoot for Flaunt magazine.

Ryder was silent on the matter at the time. “I heard about that,” Ryder says when I ask her about it.

Liv Liberg

“I do remember that photo shoot. It was with my dear friend [and makeup artist] Kevyn Aucoin,” she says.

“And I did wear it. I have pictures. The photographer gave me some prints. I’m in a tartan in one of them, and I’m in that dress.”

The next day, Ryder texts me a photograph of herself as a 13-year-old.

This was from before she had been cast in anything, before she nabbed the role of Veronica in Heathers just a few years later, in part by going to the mall and asking for a makeover to prove she could, in fact, look like the pretty and popular one.

Her hair is boyishly cropped, and she’s wearing a plaid cardigan over a Clash T-shirt.

She looks beautiful and impossibly cool.

I can see instantly how the world fell in love with her.

Even now, though she has managed to mature in the public eye, she still possesses what one director told me was a “romantic fragility” that adds an immeasurable depth to whomever she plays onscreen.

We exchange a few more messages.

Did she ever think she had PTSD from those early days, when the white-hot light of the spotlight was focused so intensely on her?

“The answer would be no,” she wrote back the next day.

“I feel incredibly lucky to have been able to live this life—however intense and overwhelming it got, it’s NOTHING compared to what it is now with the internet and social media. I just find myself feeling tremendous empathy toward people who have sacrificed so much.”

A little bit later, I’m struck by a silly impulse to know one last thing after our cemetery walk and I send her another text:

Does she believe in ghosts?

The afterlife?

We all know what Lydia Deetz would say. But Ryder doesn’t respond.

0 notes

landoncrris · 3 years ago

Note

MM imagine request, were you two have a big argument before going to dinner with his family, so you don’t talk at all for most of the night and you feel uncomfortable and lonely, but then Summer asks you why you look so sad, so mason tell summer to ask you if you can forgive him, and yeah something like that, make it suuuper long pls 💕💕

the reason why they argued is so overused but i’m uncreative so 😀 also i tried to make it as long as possible but i’m SO bad at writing long fluffs, sorry x

he’s sorry - mason mount x reader

REQUESTS ARE OPEN // MASTERLIST

word count: 3.3k

“You never have time for me anymore, Mason.” you said, getting up from the sofa to get away from your boyfriend who had just told you he was going out with friends tonight. Just like he did every day for weeks, and when he didn’t, he was away because of his job, which meant you fell asleep every single day without him by your side.

“What do you mean? We live together, Y/N, don’t be so dramatic.” Mason scoffed, clearly not understanding what your problem was. It kind of made you feel like you really were being dramatic, because you knew he could do whatever he wanted and that you both had your own lives. Yet you felt kind of worthless to him, because just a few months ago he would have done anything to spend most of his free time with you and would have been perfectly content to cuddle all day and not go out every day, as was the case now.

“Yes, we live together, but I still hardly see you.” you said and left the room, hoping that you can end the argument before it got worse, at least for today. But you didn’t expect him to follow you, as he never did, he always gave you your space. This only proved to you even more that he wasn’t the same person anymore he once was, or that maybe he just didn’t care about what you wanted anymore.

“I don’t know what your fucking problem is, honestly. We’re spending time together today and you’re still here claiming we never do.” you scoffed as you got into the bedroom and opened the wardrobe to find a suitable outfit for today.

“You’re right. Sitting in a restaurant, your whole family is there, and we’re just talking a few words to each other. What a quality time.” you said rather calmly, but took your frustration out on the hangers and doors of your wardrobe. You really loved seeing his family, they were like family to you too, but considering the situation you and Mason were in, the day was ruined for you before you even got there.

“What else do you want? Sit home every day and do nothing?”

“No, Mason. But that you make some time for me, for us. After all, I’m still your girlfriend, in case you haven’t forgotten.” you heard him scoff as he sat down on the edge of the bed and silently watched you pick out some clothes and throw them on the floor because you didn’t know what to wear yet. This only frustrated you more and when he didn’t answer or bother to apologise or tell you that you were right, you turned around with a groan and looked at him.

“But sure, it’s okay. You just go out with your stupid friends every night, no problem.”

“Stupid friends? You don’t even know them.” he snorted, and the fact that this was his biggest problem with what you had just said hurt even more. You just muttered an “exactly” before bending down to pick up the clothes from the floor. You tried to calm yourself and hold back the tears that threatened to spill out as your vision blurred.

“You know what, Y/N? If you weren’t so clingy and needy all the time, maybe I’d spend more time with you.” Mason grumbled and was already on his way out of the room, clearly not caring that he had just said of the worst things he could say at you in this situation.

“I’m sorry?”

“You heard me.” was all he said, shutting the door behind him, leaving you alone in your bedroom. You sat down on the foot of the bed where he had been sitting only moments ago, while his words repeated themselves over and over in your head. You wondered if you were wrong, if snapping at him was unnecessary, and if you were trying to control him too much. All this while your head hung low and you blinked your eyes to push back the tears and not ruin your make-up. Yet you were so close to picking up the phone and calling his mother to tell her you weren’t coming, for which you already had several excuses running around in your head. But you didn’t do it in the end, as you didn’t want to show him how much it hurt you. Instead, you wanted to pretend that you didn’t care, because if he wanted you to distance yourself, that was exactly what you were going to do.

“We have to go.” Mason knocked on the bathroom door because the music from your phone was far too loud for him to shout from downstairs. Fortunately, your favourite songs up until that moment were helping to lift your spirits, making you even more confident for today. Coming out of the bathroom only seconds later, you pushed past him, grabbed your handbag and coat from the bed and headed down the stairs. He still remained standing outside the bathroom door, watching your every move as he gulped, seeing how stunning you looked at that moment. You deliberately chose a dress that showed the perfect amount of cleavage and back, but still wasn’t too much for the fancy restaurant you were going to.

“You look good.” said Mason after clearing his throat, taking quick steps to follow you out the front door and to his car. But you didn’t answer, just rolled your eyes and waited for him to unlock the car. Usually he was always at the car before you to open the passenger door for you and waited until you got in to close it again. But today he didn’t. Today he just walked around the car, not even giving you a glance as he got in and drove off as soon as your door closed. And you’d be lying if you said that didn’t hurt you, you found it almost funny how such a small detail can ruin your mood and make your confidence disappear again.

The fifteen-minute drive was filled with nothing but silence, apart from the soft music playing in the background and the drumming of Mason’s fingers on the steering wheel when he stopped at a red light. As you sat there with your head in your hands looking out the window, you could see his reflection every now and then as it was already dark outside. He looked as handsome as ever, dressed in jeans and a button-up shirt that you would normally drool over. And it took everything in you not to do that now, just to look out the window and wait for him to look over at you too. Which never happened, his gaze was fixed on the road in front of him the whole time, which made you kind of regret being here, despite your plans to be the strong one.

“Can we talk?” His hand reached for your arm as the car stopped in front of the restaurant and you tried to unbuckle, but he stopped you before you could get out.

“We’re already late.”

“I’d rather be late than sit there and have us act like strangers.” he grumbled, but let go of your arm, giving you the choice. You then slumped back in your seat and looked over at him, but he still wasn’t looking at you. His gaze was still directed forward.

“So all that matters to you is that your family doesn’t find out?”

“I didn’t sa—”

“Sorry, I’m not going to pretend that everything is okay.” you said before opening the car door and getting out, hearing him groan quietly before closing it behind you. You waited until he got out of the car too to go inside together, because even though you couldn’t pretend that everything was fine, there was no point in pointing out the drama. But you still just walked side by side without him interlocking your hands or putting his arm around you. The unfamiliar feeling made you want to disappear again immediately.

When you entered the restaurant, Mason’s eyes immediately lit up and a bright smile made its way onto his face as he waved to his little niece. You gave everyone a small smile as you approached the table and they immediately attacked you with questions about how you were doing and said how glad they were to see you again. In response to those questions, you kept lying and saying you were fine, while you watched Mason with his niece in his arms, kissing all over her face before handing her back to his sister. And you were snapped out of your bubble when he instinctively offered to take your coat off, his hands brushing over your arms as he helped you out of it. You wanted to decline and say you were fine, but you also didn’t want to appear too rude in front of his family, so you accepted his offer with a small “thanks”

In the beginning you tried to talk to his family, especially about what had happened in your lives since you last saw each other. But after that you distanced yourself more and more and only spoke when someone specifically asked you something. That, and the fact that Mason’s hands were on the table the whole time — instead of on your thigh or around your shoulder as usual — certainly didn’t go unnoticed. They just didn’t want to bring it up at that moment so as not to ruin the mood. But when the topic of planning the next holiday together came up after the first course, they had to mention you both somehow.

“So, we were going to rent a house for all of us, yes?” asked Mason’s sister, searching her Ipad for the most beautiful houses she had already saved to show everyone and get everyone’s opinions.

“We’ll stay separately.” Mason spoke up, bringing back memories of a few weeks ago when you were lying in bed. Your head was resting on his bare chest while his fingers traced random patterns on the skin of your hips. At that time, you were already talking about your holiday alone, just before you planned to flew to where his family was, where you would spend another week on holiday. That ended with him admitting that he can never keep his hands off you, especially when you’re in bikinis and summer dresses all the time. Which lead to you both agreeing to take your own house for some private time.

“Seriously Mase? I’m certainly not going to look for a house near ours now, you can do that yourself.”

“Actually,” you spoke up, drawing all the attention to yourself, clearing your throat nervously, “I don’t know if I’m coming with you yet, so just rent one house, It’ll be fine.”

“Why not, sweetheart?” asked Mason’s mother with a pout so similar to his that it almost had you smiling.

“I have lots to prepare for Uni.”

“I’m sure you can take another week off, right? You need some time to relax too, Y/N, and we would be very happy to have you with us.” she replied, to which you just shrugged and let your gaze wander into your lap. At that moment, everyone else started talking about the house again.

“What do you mean you don’t know if you’re coming with us yet?” asked Mason quietly as he turned to you, arms wrapped around his niece who was sitting on his lap playing with his thumbs.

“Like I just said.” you shrugged again, basically repeating the same reason you just said, although the real one was that you didn’t know if you were ready to go on holiday with him and his family if he carries on like he has for the past few weeks. Luckily, he didn’t have another chance to ask any more questions as his sister started talking to him from the other end of the table. You watched as she put her Ipad in his hand and told him to look at the houses too and pick his favourite. If it wasn’t for his niece, who tried to grab it every few seconds and say that she wanted to play with it, but every time just clicked on some random buttons.

“Can you take her for a moment please?” Mason groaned as he lifted her so she was standing on his thighs. Before he handed her to you when you nodded sheepishly. The little girl talked to you for a while, or at least tried to with the few words she knew, which always made you smile and giggle. But when she snuggled against your chest instead — tired because it was already so late, despite the nap she had taken earlier — you listened to them talk about their holiday again. And even though you had told them not to expect your presence, you still felt lonely. Lonely and uncomfortable, just because you had a fight with Mason, you didn’t know how to talk to them anymore, closing yourself off like you always did when something happened.

“Why you sad?” you heard from the girl on your lap, whereupon your gaze darted down to her eyes, for she had been watching your impression for some minutes.

“Huh? I’m fine, princess, just tired.” you replied with a smile, brushing her hair out of the way. But you noticed she wasn’t convinced as she reached out to tap Mason repeatedly on the arm. Until he turned his head to look down at her and raised his eyebrows in a silent question.

“Why is Y/N sad?” At this, Mason’s gaze wandered back and forth between you and his niece, and a sympathetic smile spread across his face. He moved his chair a little closer, trying not to make too much noise. And when he was close enough, he leaned down to whisper something in her ear, so quietly that you couldn’t make out what it was, and it only added to the unease you felt at that moment. After he had finished speaking, she nodded frantically and her attention immediately returned to you.

For the next ten minutes, until the dessert arrived, she did her best to make you laugh, to lift your spirits, just as Mason had told her to do. She tried to talk to you again because she remembered how you laughed when she did it earlier. She also played with your hair, putting her little fingers on your cheek and wrapping them around your fingers. Occasionally she would tell you that you were pretty, which brought a blush to your cheeks because you taught her how to say that, as you always said that to her.

“Are you still sad?” she asked after a while, to which you shook your head and gave her a kiss on the forehead. For a few moments there was silence at the table, except for a few “thank yous” as dessert was handed. Then you got up to put the little girl back on her chair so that she could eat too.

“Uncle Masey asked if you could forgive him,” she whispered in your ear before you set her down. A small smile made its way onto your face at his action, though you obviously still felt the need for him to ask himself and apologise. “Will you?” she continued to ask, holding onto your finger.

“Don’t worry about it, princess.” you said, tying her hair into a small ponytail so it wouldn’t get in the way while she ate, before returning to your chair. At that, Mason’s eyes fell back to his plate after watching you all this time. But when you sat down next to him, his eyes were on you again. So he immediately saw how unhappy you looked after you had taken the first bite of your brownie.

“Here, have mine.” he pushed his plate over to you, on which he knew was your favourite cake, which quickly became his favourite too after you made it so many times and therefore made him eat it all the time.

“No it’s fine.”

“Y/N. Take it. I really don’t mind.”

“No, honestly, I—”

“I insist.” he interrupted you, to which you nodded with a huff. You took his plate and pushed yours over to him instead, murmured a soft “thank you” and the smile he gave you made you almost forget about everything that had happened. The rest of the time you spent there — which actually wasn’t that long, as his family still had to drive a long way home — Mason was nothing but a complete gentleman to you, basically back to the way you knew him. On the drive home, on the other hand, silence reigned again, no one dared to say anything until you were in the safety of your home.

“Have you thought about what she asked you?” asked Mason as the car came to a stop in front of your house. “Have you thought about apologising?” you replied, but didn’t give him a chance to answer as you got out of the car and looked for the keys in your handbag.

“Actually I did, thank you for listening.” he called after you as he also got out of the car and locked it before following you into the house and upstairs. By the time he got there, you were already out of your dress and rummaging through your closet for a t-shirt, which was very unusual as you usually slept in one of his.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” you asked as you saw out of the corner of your eye him leaning against the door frame, before you pulled your T-shirt over your head.

“Actually, no.”

“Why not?”

“Because you were right.” he said, following you into the bathroom where you were removing your make-up. You only hummed, obviously waiting for him to elaborate why.

“And I’m sorry.”

“For what exactly?”

“Well, first of all, because I was away so often. I wasn’t planning on neglecting you. It was just my way of coping with how bad the season was going, I guess,” he explained as he leaned against the wall behind you, watching you through the mirror, “You know, I tried to push my life away from me. Even you, and I’m sorry for that, I really am.”

“And?...” you threw the cotton pad into the bin, turned around and leaned your back against the sink as you looked him properly in the eye for the first time since you had left the house.

“And for saying what I said,” he tested the waters by stepping closer to you, putting his hands on your hips, “I didn’t mean it— God, I don’t even know why I said it, you’re not too clingy. I love spending all day with you on the sofa cuddling too.” he pouted at you, which only got worse when you said nothing and continued to look at him sternly.

“Please forgive me? I promise you that I will spend more time with you again, that I will be there for you again because I love you, I love you so much, Y/N. Just, please?” he pleaded you with his eyes, his arms now wrapped around your waist, holding you close because he never wanted to let you go again. “I’m sorry for being the worst boyfriend ever.”

“You’re not the worst boyfriend ever.” you murmured, unable to suppress your smile as you wrapped your arms around his neck. Making him smile too.

“Does this mean I’m forgiven?”

“Mhm, not quite, you still have to make it up to me.”

“Oh?” he smirked and hugged you tighter, earning a light slap against his neck, that made him giggle adorably.

“Not like that you perv.”

#mason mount #mason mount fanfic #mason mount oneshot #mason mount imagines #mason mount x reader #mason mount imagine #mason mount fluff #chelsea fc #england nt #chelsea imagine #england nt imagine #football imagine #football #fanfiction #oneshot #fluff

1K notes · View notes

venusguks · 4 years ago

Text

Unlike You

pairing : jeon jungkook x fem!reader

summary : As daydreamy and romantic as you are, you decided true love was going to have to wait for you tonight. That was because tonight, you were getting laid !! ...Your best friend doesn’t make it easy for you when he finds out why, though.

warnings : smut, dom!jk, sub!reader, unprotected seggs, fluff, bsf!jk, degredation, dumbification, possessive jk, jealous jk, fun sexy times, jk is whipped for mc, oral (fem receiving), body worshipping, jimin/reader but only for a sec

“A club?” Jungkook raised his brow.

He was incredulous and slightly displeased as he watched you pace around your room. It was rare after all, new to see you like this―in a black, satin dress with a slit high enough to make him upset. He didn’t need you catching anyone else’s attention, especially in a neon lit bar full of ravenous people. “For the seventh time, yes, Kook,” You huff, jarring your mouth slightly to dab a dreamy red over your plush lips.

You couldn’t recall the last time you felt so confident as you applied mascara and tickled a delicate pink over your cheeks. More than anyone, Jungkook couldn’t recall ever seeing you this way, this excited to be amidst a crowd of sweaty bodies. You honestly didn’t see why he was being so apprehensive, it wasn’t like you necessarily hated parties―you just always preferred the coziness of your home better. Huge social interactions were never your thing, and that was okay. Being an introvert wasn’t something to be ashamed of anyway, but staying in came with the everyday comforts of baggy sweatpants and sweaters.

So could anyone really blame you for your excitement? You just loved the way getting ready made you feel, missed it. You already knew you were beautiful with or without makeup, but damn did it make you feel confident.

“It’s just...” Jungkook furrowed his brows and ruffled his hair. “This isn’t like you, love. Did something happen? Are you okay? We can talk about it, if you want. Whatever it is, I’m here to listen you know.”

You sighed exasperatedly at your best friend’s reflection through your vanity. His eyes were uncertain and full of concern as he watched your figure with crossed arms. “Koo, we’ve been over this so many times already. I’m nervous enough as it is, and you’re not helping at all. I want to do this, okay? It’s been awhile. Plus, I haven’t seen the others boys in so long.”

A part of you didn’t want to be annoyed at Jungkook for his incessant worrying, but it truly was hard not to sometimes. “You’re being such a fucking dick, you know that?! Can’t I just live my life without you being so fucking hysterical about it every time?! ” It was that winter a few months ago when you unleashed all your pent up frustration. Jungkook had always been overprotective, and you appreciated him for caring, but he just made it so hard for you to even breathe sometimes. It was the biggest argument you guys ever had when you started dating a boy a few years older. You ignored Jungkook’s calls and messages for weeks, but when you discovered that he cheated on you, Jungkook was the first to be by your side. You still remember the assurance and safety you felt in his arms; with his soft lips against your forehead, murmuring sweet consolations as you sobbed on his shoulder. After that day, Jungkook agreed to be less protective.

“I just don’t get why it has to be a club. We could meet the hyungs anywhere else, baby.”

“Oh sure, maybe a strip club would do,” you said, chuckling when you see his shock. “I’m kidding, Koo.” Though that wouldn’t be such a bad idea...

Maybe you couldn’t blame him for being so appalled. You usually opted out whenever your friends went out to celebrate, which by the way, was rather often. Night after night, the few of them would call you, practically beg until they realized their efforts would end in vain. By the morning, notifications would spam your phone of their wild night; pictures and details that showcased hookups you didn’t need to know about. Now that you think about it, it was sort of ironic that you’d always grimace to the crude texts.

That was because tonight, you decided you were getting laid.

That’s right, to hell with sweet, wholesome love! If true love had to make you wait, true love would have to wait for you too! Your subscribing 48K readers have been expecting a new chapter of Spring’s Breath, an erotica series, which you’ve delayed for 2 whole months now. You didn’t exactly know when your writers block came, but by the fourth hour you stared at your blank screen, unable to come up with any other synonym for dick or thrust or moan; or how the overused dirty talk you wrote made you cringe―you realized the firecracker you had in writing erotica died out.

It was your dear friend, Hoseok, who suggested the whole ordeal. He was the only one who knew your secret, anyway. You had so much trust in him, so when he professed that maybe if you slept with someone, your spark would come back, you had truly considered it. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea. After all, no cons would come out of it. It was just odd to think about.

You have always been such a huge romantic, your literature proved it. Jungkook nor you nor anyone would anticipate you hooking up with someone just to hook up with someone. The tenderness, the connection, the intimacy... you’ve always prioritized genuine adoration over whimsical one night stands. You were an honest daydreamer, and maybe that’s why your works would always take off.

But maybe... maybe it was okay to let go once in awhile.

When you mentioned Jungkook being less overprotective, you forgot to put an emphasis on less―because there he was, his hand possessively squeezing your inner thigh every time you even dared to look at a cute boy. You let out a frustrated sigh when he nuzzles his nose into your neck.

You tried not to mind it. It was just in his nature anyway―ever since kindergarten when he found you crying over your dropped ice cream. Jungkook left only to come back with another cone, rubbing your fat tears away with the palm of his sleeve. In elementary school, he peppered you with tiny kisses when you sobbed over the death of your kitten. You’ve only had him for a month, dedicated all your time to him and skipped play dates to care for your little serendipity―but just like that―he was lifeless. It was Jungkook who found him on the road. In middle school, he’d go through the enveloped confessions in your locker and rip them apart, saying you deserved better than any of them. You’ve always looked up to him througha lens of admiration. Everything he did for you, he did it out of thought and care. It was sweet.

It was times like these where you really started to mind though.

You’ve been giggling with your friends for the past hour, catching up on every minuscule detail. You were sitting in a booth wedged in the middle of Jungkook and Hoseok, brimming with happiness to see Namjoon and Yoongi again. Its been so long, and your heart would swell to the stories you’ve missed out on.

The night was carrying on delightfully! ...except for the fact that Jungkook sent death glares to whoever even glanced at you. The countless of times you shyly returned someone’s gaze, only for them to rush away when they caught sight of your best friend left you agitated. When the boys were engaged in a conversation about a class they all shared together, you decided it was a good time to bring it up.

Gulping a shot down, you let out a huff. “Kookie...”

“Yes, baby?” He whispered into your ear, his large hand grazing the access of your slitted dress.

“Stop it.”

“Stop what, love?” You sharply inhaled as Jungkook rubbed sensitive circles on your skin.

Immediately standing up, you squeezed yourself out of the booth. “I’m gonna go dance!” You yell through the loud music, avoiding Jungkook’s eyes, because seriously, the nerve of that man! The rest of your friends cheered, “We love to see you like this, y/n! Enjoy yourself, cutie!” Hoseok laughed when you blew a kiss to him. He made you feel so much more at ease, so much more confident. Okay, you got this! No use in sitting around. You couldn’t get anywhere tonight with Jungkook by your side, anyway.

Fluffing out your hair after you downed another shot, you strut your way into the dance floor. Your hips swayed in a rather alluring manner as you made your way into the crowd, your fingertips tracing seductive lines from your hips up to your waist, your neck and finally, into the air. The alcohol slowly took its effect as your confidence settled in, rolling your head back and moving your body fluidly to the loud music.

Truth be told, you didn’t know what you were doing, just knew you must’ve looked good as hell doing it as you felt hands grip your waist. You gasped as a body pressed against your back, sticky with sweat.

“You’re so captivating, princess,” His dulcet voice was enough to make you weak...or was it the alcohol? Whatever the case, get your grip together y/n! It was just four words for star’s sake!

“I, um, th-thank you...um! You too..” Your confidence from only moments ago dissolved with your voice. “So shy now, princess? How come? You were dancing so sexily just moments ago.” He chuckled lowly against your ear, nibbling it. You whimpered to his brazen touch, his hands guiding your hips with his. “Are you shy for me? Is that it? What a cute little princess you are... so beautiful, fuck.”

Annnnnnnnd you truly were fucked. You professed only hours ago that true love could wait, that you’d be a different woman tonight, yet you couldn’t help but feel bashful to the man’s praise. His voice and his nectar sweet words enough to make you feel wobbly.

“I’m Jimin. Can I know my princess’s name?” He pressed his hardened member against your ass, the silk thin fabric barely doing its job of coverage. “Ah Jimin,” you moaned breathlessly as he kissed your neck. “I...I’m-”

“―Mine,” a low, husky voice finished. Jungkook stood behind you, jaw clenched and arms crossed. The veins on his biceps protruded under the incandescent lights; His white shirt and tight, black jeans doing wonders to complement his physique.

“Are you deaf? I said she’s mine so why the fuck are your hands still on her?” Jungkook had always been intimidating, even when he didn’t try―so in the rare times he did, even he scared you sometimes.

Much to your disappointment, Jimin immediately lets go, hands in the air, “sorry man, I didn’t know.”

“W-what? Wait, he isn’t my...!” Before you could try to reach for the pink haired man, Jungkook firmly takes your hand. “Y/n, we’re leaving.” You didn’t even have a second to feel shocked before he swiftly guides you through the ocean of bodies. Loud music reverberated with your disappointment, and by the time the night’s cold air stings your cheeks, you've processed what just happened―what you just missed. It’s when Jungkook latches your seatbelt on and drives that you feel anger simmer in your chest.

“Why did you...Why the fuck did you do that, Jungkook?” You were exasperated with your emotions. You just didn’t get it. You were finally having the time of your life, finally stepping out of your comfort zone, finally dancing with a guy who made you feel amazing―just to end up on a drive back home before anything could happen. “Seriously, what the hell is your problem? That was my..! He was..!” You groaned, too frustrated to conjure up words.

Jungkook scoffed, “what, y/n? He was what? Your soulmate or something?”

“I didn’t say that! And even if I think so, why does it matter?! I was having fun! I was having so much fun and you just..! (hiccup) I was having so much fun....” You cried into your hands. “I haven’t felt that way in so long, j-just for you to mess everything up. God, I can’t even muster up words right now. I hate you so much.”

“Love...” Jungkook finally sighed, shutting the engine off. You had cried the whole ride home. The anger he once felt diminished with your tears. “Baby, please look at me.”

“F-fuck (hiccup) off, Jungkook.” You quickly unbuckled your seatbelt and opened the car door. Knowing him as long as you did, you knew he would take your chin to force you to look up at him―but you had enough of him for the night, and honestly, the whole week.

You were just so fucking frustrated at everything. At Jungkook for unnecessarily budging in, at your writers block, at your own sexual frustration left with Jimin. What did you have to offer your readers now? A heartbreak of a possible relationship that never happened with a shitty friend on the side?

You tuned out Jungkook shouting from behind you, striding to you complex and up the stairs.

It wasn’t long after you slammed the door shut that you heard it click open again. You had forgotten Jungkook had an extra spare of your keys. “Just leave me alone, Kook.” You groaned, storming off into your room.

You kicked your heels off and stomped to your bed, taking out your frustration on your pillow where your sobs were muffled. The bed dips down when Jungkook sits beside you, silent as he caressed your hair in the way he always did to soothe your nerves.

Deciding it wasn’t enough this time, he carefully lifts you up to sit on his lap, sliding his arms around your waist to pull you into his chest. Jungkook knew you long enough to know hugs were the best remedy for you, even at your angriest moments. He knew you wouldn’t push him away.

“You jerk...” You buried your face into the crook of his neck, sniffling. “I don’t get you, Kookie. Why do you always do this?”

“I...I just wanted to protect you, baby. People have bad intentions, I didn’t want to see you end up doing something you’d regret,” His voice was gentle, brushing hair strands away from your face.

“Stars, Kook, I knew what I was doing. Whether I’d end up regretting it or not, that’s for me to sort out. I didn’t need you to ‘protect’ me. I was really enjoying myself, something I haven’t done in a long time. A-and you just..! You ruined it for me.”

Jungkook scoffed, “so you liked it then, how he was touching you? You were just going to let him fuck you?”

“Yes, Kook!” You yelled. “He could’ve fucked me in the public bathroom or in his car―in front everyone for all I care! He was hot and we were in the moment and you just interrupted! I know you care for me and I’ll always appreciate you worrying but there’s a fine line where your protectiveness should be. I’m not a kid anymore, Kook.”

Jungkook was gritting his teeth, and the two of you only glared at each other before he let out a sigh. Despite him wanting to be mad, he didn’t like making you upset. If you were going to cry because of him, he wanted it to be for an entirely different reason.

He gently cupped your cheeks, holding your gaze with tender, sad eyes. “You know I’d do anything for you, yes? That I’ve always done anything and everything I could to help you?”

You furrowed your brows, unsure of how that related to anything, but nonetheless, you nod. “Yes, I know Kook.”

“Then why didn’t you just ask me to sleep with you, hm? If you needed help so bad, why didn’t you just ask me, baby?” You stared, dumbfounded and mouth ajar as his thumbs brushed the remnants of your tears away.

“W-What are you...?”

“Was so concerned for my baby. Hoseok got drunk and told me everything I needed to know. Did you know how hurt I was? How Hoseok knew something about you that I didn’t? Especially that you were a writer, love. I thought I was your number one, how could you keep that from me?”

“O-Of course you are, Koo! You’ll always be my number one. I just...didn’t want to tell you because it was embarrassing,” you mumbled, glancing away. Damn it Jung Hoseok! After all these years, this is when he accidentally slips it out? “Nuh uh, baby, I’m not having any of that. Look at me.”

Jungkook pressed his forehead against yours, an act you were certainly no stranger to, but nevertheless making your cheeks warm. “Not only that, you wanted to go clubbing tonight just to find a stranger to help you, is that right, baby? Wore this tiny dress just so someone could fuck you? Wanted Jimin to fuck you? Wanted to write about him fucking you in the bathroom stall?” Jungkook was speaking softly, though his words were anything but as his hands left your cheeks to trace sensuous lines up your thigh.

Your hands weakly held onto his shoulders, gasping when you felt his bulge press against your sensitive core.

“What was that you said....In his car? Wanted him to fuck you in front of everybody? Wanted to be a dirty slut just for your readers?” You didn’t know how exactly this moment came to be, but his honeyed voice brought you to a daze as you grind your hips against him. You were desperate to feel more—of anything, of him—only to let out a whine when he forcefully holds you down, burying your clothed center into his bulge.

“I don’t think so, baby. I don’t think you deserve it,” Jungkook’s hot breath tickled your ear. You whimpered as he bit it, hands squeezing your hips. “You used to be so good for me baby, used to come to me for anything. Used to be a good little girl and depend on me. I would’ve helped you, baby. Instead, you became a dirty little slut, let another man touch you. Is that what you are now? A fucking slut?”

“N-no Kookie,” a new bundle of tears welled in your eyes at his harsh words. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, sh-should’ve, ah, went to you,” you felt your body succumb to his touch. His nose brushed your jaw, placing warm kisses all over your neck before he glided his tongue down to your collarbone. “Please forgive me, I-I’ll be a good girl for you now, p-promise.”

“Yeah? Wanna be a good girl for daddy?” Jungkook licks the base of your collarbone before sucking it. “Yes..ah, yes daddy. Gonna be so good for you.”

“And yet you weren’t,” you cried as you felt teeth sink into your skin. “J-Jung― ah, Kookie stop! Please i-it hurts!”

“You deserve this, fucking slut. You know how much you hurt me tonight? You’re secretly just a desperate whore, aren’t you? Missed your tiny cunt getting fucked so much that you’d let a stranger do it for you, hm? Answer me, slut.”

You felt tears drip down your eyes, embarrassment washing over your face. “What? You’re not going to speak now?” You shook your head in desperation. You couldn’t. How could you? It was too shameful.

You yelped when Jungkook picked you up by your waist and turned you over so your face was smushed into a pillow. “Ass up, now. Don’t make me repeat myself.” He snarled, and you immediately obliged. Jungkook was on his knees, eyes lidded to your position as he rubbed slow circles on your bare ass. “My slut is voiceless now, hm? Begged to be daddy’s good girl but can’t even answer when I talk to you. Why are you being so disobedient tonight, baby?” It happened so fast you could barely gasp as your body lurched forward to the slap. It repulsed through your skin as your right cheek stung with a faint red.

“J-J-Jungkook, ah!” You cried as another slap came, face burying further into your pillow. “I’ll be obedient from now on! s-so please! I’m sorry, I-I’m sorry, daddy!”

Jungkook’s lips pulled to a smirk, grabbing a bundle of your hair before pulling you towards him. You whimpered and he bent down so he could see your face, tisking. “Oh, my poor baby. Did that hurt? Want to be a good little girl for daddy now?” You nodded ferociously, “p-please yes daddy! I-I’ll be so good for you. Please let me be good for you!”

Jungkook’s dick felt constrained in his tight pants. He licked his lips to your messy, desperate state. Your eyes were red and puffy, lips just the same as heavy tears streamed down your eyes. Fuck, what Jungkook would give to fuck you senseless right then and there. But no, he needed to wait, needed to be patient. You deserved this.

“Make up your fucking mind, slut. If you want to be a good girl, then take your punishment like a good girl,” Jungkook pushed your face back into the pillow before slapping your ass once more.

You didn’t know how long it went on, only knew the room was filled with your sobbing and the alarming sound of the contact that met your bruised skin. It hurt, it hurt so much. Your thighs were trembling and both your cheeks were a lovely shade of red and purple. But no matter how much you screamed your endless arrays of i’m sorry’s, Jungkook didn’t fail to notice how your juices soaked your underwear and spilled down your thighs

“Already making such a mess baby,” He groaned to the sight, palming himself to his creation.

“P-please....hurts so bad...please let me l-lay down daddy, can’t hold myself much longer, please,” Jungkook adored the way you sounded for him, the way he corrupted you. You were perfect there, so perfectly powerless under him.

“Mm, keep begging baby and maybe I’ll let you,” he unbuckled his pants and discarded them, his cock throbbing to your feeble pleads. “Please, please, p-please, please daddy... please. Hurts so bad, I-I can’t... please i-i’m a good girl. I’m a good girl for daddy. I’ll do anything please.”

“Did you learn your lesson, then?”

“Yes, I-I did, daddy!”

“You’ll be a good girl and obey daddy from now on?”

“Mhm!” You nodded vigorously, and Jungkook chuckled to your desperation. He peeled your soaked thong down, lifting your limp legs momentarily to pull it off until he set you back. You were so tired you felt your thighs give up on you right then, but before you could submit to your exhaustion, Jungkook lifted your ass up higher, arching your back deeper with one hand.

“Mm I don’t think so baby. Obey daddy and keep your ass up like a good little girl.” A gasp left your quivering lips when you felt Jungkook’s breath on your throbbing core.

“You smell so sweet baby, so fucking wet for me,” Jungkook hikes your dress up and glides his tongue up your inner thigh, wiping your dripping juices clean. “Kookie, mm, please,” he trails delicate kisses over your skin, nibbling it. “Yes, baby?”

“P-please...please Kookie..!”

“Use your words, baby. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what you want.” Jungkook smiles against your thigh as he hears your soft sniffles muffled by the pillow. His poor baby, always so shy. It was true he loved to tease you, tempt you, and loved making you cry for him—but more than anything, he wanted to take care of you. “Please touch me, Koo, please.”

“Of course, sweetheart.” A sharp shiver crawls across your skin when your pleads are obliged, moaning as Jungkook stuffs his face into your cunt. He kisses your clit softly. One, two, three times before sucking it with his plush lips. His hands were the only thing keeping you up now because you practically melted to the touch. The way his tongue rolled over your sensitive bud already having you see stars. “Ah...feels so good, Kookie.”

“Yeah? Would it feel even better if I do this?” He easily slides his middle finger into your slippery hole, slowly pumping in and out. “O-oh...oh my god, more please.”

“Anything for you baby, but first,” a whimper escapes your lips when you feel him leave you, that is until Jungkook swiftly but gently flips you over so you’re finally laying on your back.

Jungkook’s breath hitches to the sight of you below him, frozen for a moment to the aching pull of his heart.

“You’re so pretty baby, so pretty,” Jungkook’s voice was sweet and smooth as he helped you undress. Fuck, did you know how much you pained him? How much he held back for you, all these years, in this moment? It was so hard not to take you right then, to kiss you until you couldn’t breathe, to touch every single part of you with his lips.

Jungkook has fantasized about you ever since he could remember, but you truly went beyond his imagination. You were so fucking beautiful.

“...so pretty here,” he kisses your cheeks and your jaw, down to your neck. “And here,” he kisses the valley between your breasts, his hands trailing down your curves. “And here,” your stomach...and finally, taking your clit back into his mouth.

“The prettiest cunt baby, dripping so much for daddy,” he murmurs. His tongue rolls around your clit, pumping two fingers in and out of your slick pussy. It was all too much, the sensations overwhelming your senses as ungodly moans escape your mouth. You felt fuzzy and almost light headed, reaching down to hold Jungkook’s curls.

Your back arches and tears stream down your eyes from the intense pleasure exhausting you, his fingers curling into your sweet spot mercilessly. “Do you like this baby?”

“Love it so much, Jungkook,” You moaned breathlessly, looking down at him through your tears and ... wow.

Jungkook’s brows were creased as he focused on his tongue devouring your wet cunt, plunging his two fingers steadily in and out of you. His bangs were sticking to his forehead, glossed with sweat while your hands curled around the rest.

You were taken aback with your emotions. Was it strange, how timid you felt then? Doing this with him was supposed to be sinful, yet for some reason, it felt anything but at that moment.

It was the fact that Jungkook looked so intent, so concentrated in making you feel good. How Jungkook showed his care for you, how he always did, how he was doing right now, cherishing you with his best effort. He wanted to give you the best experience he could, wanted nothing more than to make you feel good.

It was unbearable how much your heart swelled for him.

A knot tied in your stomach, and as if noticing your stare, his eyes flutter open to look at you.“Hm, does baby wanna cum now? You can do it love, cum for daddy.”

With that, you came undone in Jungkook’s mouth. Your cries filled the room, and Jungkook opened your hole wider with his fingers, devouring your cream. The sound of slurping made your cheeks heat with an impure red. “That’s my girl, so good for daddy. So sweet for me baby, so beautiful.”

When you went limp in his arms, he gives your lips one last sweet kiss before standing on his knees. Jungkook smiles at the sight of you, already so fucked out even when he was no where near finished with you.

He crawled forward, his forehead resting over yours once again. “Did that feel good, sweetie?” You nod shyly, your chests heaving up and down together. With rosy cheeks, you weakly bring your hands up to trace his jaw. “Jungkook?”

“Yes baby?” You melted to his dulcet voice, keeping his loving gaze. It held so much affection, so much adoration for you, you wondered why you never realized it.

“Kiss me, please.”

Jungkook smiles warmly. Without hesitation, he takes your lush, sweet lips in his. It was gentle, a kind of kiss that was so tender it made you warm with reassurance. You were kissing Jungkook—your silly, annoying, bratty, and all the while, lovable best friend of 20 years. It was strange and odd but more than anything, it felt so, unmistakably right.

You took Jungkook by surprise when you deepened the kiss, your hand squeezing his hair. He chuckled softly, pulling himself back momentarily to look into your eyes. “I love you,” he whispers.

Your cheeks heat up, but you fight your timidness as you smile back, “I love you too, Kookie.”

With that, Jungkook delves back into your lips. A kiss that wasn’t so delicate this time. Rather, untamed and furious, as if Jungkook wanted to show you how much, how long he’s wanted this all this time.

You moaned into him as his hands groped your breasts, fingers twirling your perky nipples. “Jungkookie,” you hold your breath, feeling his clothed cock press against your core. “Fuck me please. Please, I need you so bad.”

“Yeah?” He lowers himself to take a nipple into his mouth. “Tell me how much you want it baby.” He flicked, swirled, and sucked it with his tongue, alternating with the other.

“W-Want it so bad daddy. Please, n-need you to fuck my wet pussy mm, daddy please.”

“Since you asked so nicely,” he grins and sits up, pulling his shirt over his head, discarding his boxers and...

Oh.

Your breath hitched, blinking at Jungkook’s huge, painfully hardened cock. His tip was pink with sticky, white precum dribbling down his long member. It slightly pretruded up and its veins throbbed as if it’s been aching. And truly, he was. He’s been aching to feel your walls wrap around him for so long. You have no idea how hard he’s been trying to hold himself back for you. How painful it was to—and now, seeing you there, perfect and pretty, so shy and red just for him, Jungkook wasn’t sure he could anymore.

Jungkook needed you. He needed you getting stuffed full of his cock right now.

“I-Its so big...” You gulp as he centers himself in between your legs. “I know baby, so big and ready for your tiny cunt. Can you be a big girl and take it for me baby, hm? Let daddy fuck you until he’s satisfied? Let him use you like the little cock slut you are?”

“Y-yes daddy,” you whimper as he rubs his slick tip against your soaked, smooth cunt, sliding it back and forth. “I’m yours so please, p-please just use me daddy!”

“So good for me baby, such an obedient little slut for daddy, fuck,” Jungkook groans, slipping his tip into your lush walls. You cry as he stretches you all the way out, leaving no room for you to breathe with his tip poking your tummy. Your mind felt dizzy, mouth ajar with drool slipping out even when he hadn’t even moved yet.

“Shiiit you should see yourself baby. Such a fucking whore for daddy’s cock. Can I move, baby? Or can this tiny little pussy not take my big cock?”

“I-I..mm, please, I can take it! Please fuck me daddy!”

“That’s my girl.” Jungkook starts off painfully slow but just as painfully hard, pushing your knees to your chest. He completely draws himself back so he can see his glistening, twitching tip before driving himself back into your core. “Shit baby, your pussy’s so, fuck, tight.” Jungkook moaned to how your breast bounced up and down every time he shoved himself in.

You were sobbing by the time he quickened his pace, the intense sensation having you light headed. Jungkook loved the way you looked under him, eyes rolled back with buried balls deep inside of you. “You like this baby? Love my cock filling you? Answer me.”

“L-love mm love so m—ah, Kookie..! f-feels so....g-good daddy.”

“Look at you, baby. Can’t even talk with daddy’s cock stuffing you. Such a dumb slut for daddy, so fucking hot baby.” Jungkook moans, juices spurting everywhere and dampening the sheets with every thrust.

“I-I’m not d-dumb..!” You whimpered, fat tears streaming down your eyes. Jungkook smirks, licking his lips.

“Aww, of course you are baby. Just a dumb little cock slut for daddy. Can only think of daddy’s cock, can you?”

You can’t bring yourself to answer, your mind too scrambled with each and every thrust. Jungkook was going so fast, so hard, you felt so full.

“That’s what I thought baby. My sweet girl, fucked dumb for daddy. You only need daddy’s cock, nothing else.” Jungkook positioned your legs over his shoulders, clenching on to them to drill deeper into your tummy.

“Oh, o-oh my god, ah d-daddy...! ‘m your slut...love your dick so m-much...love being stuffed with cock.” Jungkook groaned to your sinful moans, feeling his stomach tighten.

“Just want daddy to cum inside you, don’t you? Want daddy to fill you up until you’re dripping with my cum, baby?”

“Y-yes, please daddy! Want daddy’s cum so bad! Please give me cum..!” Jungkook shoves his thumb inside of you plush lips, and god, he’s so proud of his work, so proud of you. You were taking his thumb like a good girl, sucking it as if it were his cock.

Jungkook felt his dick throb inside of you, aching for release. He pulls his thumb out with a pop of your wet lips, coated with saliva, and rubs figures over your clit. You scream, gripping onto the sheets. it was so much, too much for you to handle. Your back arches as he abuses your clit and sloppily fucks your hole.

“J-Jung–Jungkook, ah, please! Kookie! I-I’m..!”

“Its okay, baby, its okay. Gonna cum with daddy, hm? You can do it baby, sweet girl, cum for me,” Jungkook cooes, attempting to soothe your nerves, but his words are breathless and ragged. He thrusts in and out one, two, three, four more times until he burries himself deep inside you, spurts of thick cum filling your womb.

Jungkook groans as your pussy clenches around him, and you’re a sobbing, moaning, wet mess as you milk him. “Fuck, my sweet girl. Taking my cum like a big girl baby. So good for daddy, so fucking good for me.” With his praise, you feel yourself release soon after. Jungkook continues to thrust in and out of you, helping you ride out your high.

When he feels you falter in his arms, he pulls out and lays on top of you. Both of you stay like that for awhile, exhausted and in a daze.

With your moist bodies tangled with one another’s, you shut your eyes. You can hear Jungkook’s heartbeat hammer against yours, you short-winded breaths, and the soft whirring sound of the air conditioner.

Moonlight filtered in through your windows, casting a luminescent glow on Jungkook’s skin when he pushes his upper body up, his shoulders resting on either side of you.

Jungkook had spent the whole night cherishing you, telling you how pretty you were, and yet there he was—so ethereal under midnight’s grace. How could he be real?

You bring your hand to caress his cheeks. You don’t say anything. He doesn’t either.

In that moment, so intimate and sacred, His doe, gentle eyes that you could get lost in—that hold all the lost stars of the night sky, tell you all you need to know.

You yawn, stretching your arms high up. “Here’s your order maam,” two porcelain cups of matcha are placed in front of you, steam following it’s every movement. You mumble a thank you, smiling before your eyes drift to the man at the other side of the cross walk.

He’s wearing all black as per usual, revealing the beautiful tattoos that adorned his tan skin. His hair was tousled and he looked sleepy—after all, he’d just gotten out of class—but as soon as the crosswalk lights up with green, you chuckle when he sprints across and into the shop.

The bell that hung by the door didn’t even finish ringing before he runs to you, sweeping you off your chair and into his arms. “Kookie, let me down!” You giggle, but nonetheless wrapping your arms around his neck.

“I’m so proud of you baby,” he nuzzles his nose into yours. “You finally published it right? The twenty second chapter?”

a / n : ahhhhh its exactly 3:01am and i have class in the morning which is why the middle ending is super rushed sorry ! i truly wonder why i do this to myself.

this is my first smut fanfiction so i’m not sure how i did , but if anyone ever reads this , i hope you enjoyed ! i dont think im cut out to write smut, i truly did have headaches thinking of synonyms for thrust and dirty talk . i really admire smut writers ,, writing smut is not as easy as it seems !!

anyways , sending love abundance and happiness your ways. you deserve love, you’re worthy of love, and you are love.

stay safe and healthy starlights <3

#bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook friends to lovers #jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #jungkook au #bangtan sonyeondan #bangtan boys #bts #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts fic #jealous jungkook

2K notes · View notes

leviiattacks · 3 years ago

Note

short drabble about ceo levi with nicknames?? u always write sm for ur requests so please feel free to make it short i feel bad 😭!!

author note :: again i haven’t written much in ages so i’m a little rusty but i hope you like this anon !!! :-)

word count :: 1k ??? 900 words ??? idk i am estimating

okay, okay here me OUT!!!

despite popular belief i think levi wouldn’t be all that into nicknames at first.

he’s just never really seen the appeal to them? on top of that he’s always found that he internally cringes when he hears couples refer to each other with such overused terms of endearment

but god… you’re into nicknames, in fact you love them and can’t get enough of them. that’s where you and levi run into an issue. he’s never really been particularly vocal to begin with and the last thing he’d ever want to do is use a nickname when he can just say your name normally

“but other couples do it.” you mumble the complaint under your breath after seeing another couple at work bombard each other with cheesy names. only then does levi realise how upset his defiance makes you.

he probes you about it, questions what makes you happy, what exactly is attractive about it but you’ve never been the forceful type and you brush it all off telling him it’s no big deal and you’re being silly but no, levi most definitely thinks it’s a big deal especially if you’re hiding how you really feel from him

so he asks google what the big deal is about nicknames — it takes him a while to get it but eventually he comes to the conclusion that they’re used to show special connections that are different from others

so he begins to test the waters

“honey” almost sounds condescending and “brat” is what he calls little kids who annoy him, it doesn’t sound right when he tries to use it lovingly with you.

one day he ventures with the term “love” you’re both sat at a coffee shop when it slips out. when it happens you don’t really know how to react ??? it’s the first time he’s said something of that tone and you completely lose your focus accidentally sipping on the scalding hot liquid in your cup

when you nearly burn your tongue levi is visibly irked. he reaches out with a napkin to dab at the edges of your mouth — you managed to get coffee everywhere, small droplets even landed on your skirt

“be careful.” he murmurs before adding in - “maybe this whole pet name thing isn’t for us, your reaction says a lot.”

you practically jump out of your seat because NO!!!! you liked it you just weren’t expecting it so soon

“no, no, no i did like it i was just… shocked.” levi gives you a look analysing if you’re being truthful, he concludes that you are

when he returns home he thinks back on the incident. love, it’s probably his favourite, it’s still a little off putting to say because again he’s never been great at being vocally affectionate BUT levi’s always been literal with the way he thinks of you so he likes calling you it because at the end of the day you are and always will be his love. it’s fitting.

and so it sticks!!!

levi soon notices that you smile more when he uses nicknames and sure… “sweetheart” may be sappy and all but if it makes you smile he’ll do it. yes, even if it’s embarrassing

now, levi using nicknames in front of other people??

in public he’s more willing to try — i’m talking shopping centres or at the park, but at work he’s reluctant it’s difficult for him to not act professional at all times even when he’s in the privacy of his office

but he still makes the effort to use pet names often, he won’t try it if you’re stood in the staff room but if you’re in a secluded hallway he knows it won’t hurt to loosen up

fun fact but levi prefers personalised terms of endearment for himself — something that directly links to his name most probably. nobody before you referred to him as lev and he finds that he likes it so he keeps it around but if anyone other than you tries to use it they’re met with immediate annoyance

you remember the time eren tried to fling the nickname at him at an after hours work dinner and levi completely ignoring him until he used his full name

“how come i can’t say it?” eren asks him, levi fights the urge to roll his eyes before answering “because i only like it when one specific person uses it” eren doesn’t ask for any elaboration he understands what levi means instantly.

to be honest he finds it pretty endearing. the way you scold levi for being so uneasy about it is amusing because it’s clear levi refuses to budge, he hates others using the name with him because those other people aren’t you

usually levi’s worries focus on stocks and company shares so to see him so uptight and particular about a nickname really does make the other employees at ackerman & co see him as more human

levi doesn’t admit it but eventually he warms up to the whole nickname thing, he likes that the names you both use are strictly reserved for each other

it makes him feel oddly special, it’s as if he plays a significant enough role to be given the privilege of another name

levi guesses that google was right all along maybe nicknames aren’t that bad

but whatever happens levi will never ever call you sugar plum or honey bun, he thinks he’d probably throw up before he’d be able to

that’s okay though, you aren’t too fond of those two either. you think you can live perfectly fine without them !!!

for now levi is lev and you are his love :-)

202 notes · View notes

evco-productions · 2 years ago

Text

Revisiting “Sahara” (2005) (Repost from Quora)

Today, I want to talk about the 2005 action-adventure movie Sahara. If you haven’t heard of it, it’s based on a novel by Clive Cussler, and it’s from a series following this suave explorer guy named Dirk Pitt, which totally sounds like a real person’s name.

I’ve never read the book, but I once heard it described as an “airport novel,” meaning it’s a book you might pick up at the airport for seven bucks, read on your flight, be casually entertained, and then forget about. And I remembered that and thought to myself, “Wait a minute, that’s exactly the kind of movie I want to champion on this blog.”

Honestly, at this point, there’s not many movies I think I’ve seen more times than Sahara. Not even because I set out to rewatch it so many times, it’s just the go-to lazy Saturday afternoon movie for me when I can’t find anything else I feel like watching.

What makes this movie the kind of movie Just Admit It was made for? Well, what doesn’t? Its budget was 130 million dollars, but it only made 119 million dollars worldwide. Very few professional critics had anything good to say about it. But in spite of all that…it’s good.

The main stars are Matthew McConaughey, Steve Zahn, and Penelope Cruz. Some good character actors also have supporting roles—Rainn Wilson, Delroy Lindo, William H. Macy. But it’s McConaughey and Zahn that bring this home. Their chemistry is great. I listen to them banter and I think, “I totally buy that these guys have been friends for most of their lives.”

And I’m sure you’re thinking, “Well, McConaughey’s obviously a great actor, and I don’t watch as many movies as EvCo Productions does, but I’m sure this Steve Zahn fella has good comedic timing. So, what’s the big deal?”

Well, that kinda leads me into the major point I want to make with this movie. I have this theory that the only people who care about things like cinematography are the filmmakers themselves and cinephiles. And I’m sure you’re thinking “Well, yeah, duh,” but really think about that for a second.

There’s so many hundreds of people who want to dissect movies and go “Oh, this shot was so masterful because yada-yada-yada,” but you know what? The average audience member doesn’t think like that. All they want is to be entertained. Now obviously, you have to have at least acceptable writing and cinematography to be entertained, but at the end of the day, what does your average audience member connect with?

Two things: one, actors. People love actors. They love seeing familiar faces, they love faces that emote well. Human beings are largely sympathetic creatures. If an actor is good at their job, we will watch a movie that we otherwise wouldn’t watch.

Two, soundtracks. Nothing connects with the human soul like music. This is a technique every movie uses; the music in any given scene is meant to help bring out a certain reaction in the audience. However, a lot of movies turn this technique into a trick. If you put into your movie an instantly familiar or at least a very likable song, that song has the potential to win the audience over for the rest of the movie. There’s a reason the Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack is ten times more popular than the actual movie. This trick works. And even though it is a trick, that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad trick. Some movies totally overuse it (*cough* Suicide Squad *cough*) but in the right dosage, I think it’s a reasonable method.

The point is, Sahara has both of these things. It’s got great actors and great music. These are the things that elevate it, that make it enjoyable and for me, memorable. The actors and music choices are so good, in fact, that I can enjoy this movie even though there are a couple of really bad editing choices. Like there’s this one part where Steve Zahn’s character is getting shot at by this guy, and he hits the deck, and then it just cuts to the shooter going, “Where’d he go?” and Steve Zahn just apparates behind him and takes him out. How did he do that?!

But then for every dumb part like that there’s a part that has the makings of an iconic action-adventure sequence like the “We need to pull a Panama!” scene.

In a lot of ways, Sahara really stands for what I believe movies were meant to be all about. It’s this big treasure hunt adventure with a bad guy who has an evil lair made out of solar panels and they blow up a helicopter with a 200-year-old cannonball. Does it make sense when you take the time to think about it, no, but so what? Whoever said movies have to be realistic was wrong. Realism isn’t fun, this movie is fun.

Needless to say, I rate Sahara a W for Watch, and if you haven’t seen it, I recommend it. See you next time.

#film #film discussion #movie #movies #just admit it #evco #evco productions #sahara #sahara movie #matthew mcconaughey #dirk pitt #clive cussler

19 notes · View notes

archivedbyebye · 2 years ago

Text

Redemption: Harumi’s Only Option For Character Growth.

HIIIIII

What am I doing here? Writing a rant/ essay/ crazy vomit pile of words and half-thought ideas? I don’t know, can you please tell me?

Yeah, probably shouldn’t have written this while I’m drunk on sleep-deprivation and procession of the most recent episode.

Oh boy, that was fun. Yeah, don’t keep that episode in mind when reading this (if you do) It’s not really connected to the most recent episode, more just my jumbled thoughts after the last episode before hiatus was rotting in my brain.

Also, subtitles probably won’t do my understanding of it justice anyways.

For future reference, this was written before the last 22 episode of this season came out, and it’s just my thoughts as far as Harumi and the way this season has handled her return so far (with only the understanding of episodes 1-12 of crystallized, thank you for your time.)

My only criticism for Harumi’s return this season is the probable inevitable repetition in her character arc.

Harumi is my favorite character in this whole fucking series. There, you have it. Ninjago’s full potential in characterization was crafted to her and the entirety of season 8. She’s manipulative, flawed, emotional, conniving, and driven. Her character arc was amazing, ended amazing, and her lasting effects were present in seasons following her death. Utterly perfect. Do I take criticisms? No.

Here’s the thing, despite how much I loved her and season 8, there’s no way I’d ever want Harumi back. Crystallized didn’t get the memo.

Honestly, my biggest concern for her return is the fact that they really did everything for her character. She was a love interest, a character on the good side. The villain-twist really brought the edge to season 8. Her last-minute redemption was utterly amazing, and really brought her character full-circle. Say what you will about season 8, but I loved every minute of it.

So, Harumi survived the building collapse? Good for her, I guess.

Here’s the thing, there’s nothing left but redemption.

If they were going to bring Harumi back, the last thing I’d expect is for her to return to the villain role. If her last minute before death told us anything, it was that she saw error in her ways, and perhaps even felt regret. She’d been at that point where she’s lost control of her pursuits, and now others are suffering because of it. It’s already been proven that she’s willing to break a cycle, see last two minutes before death.

Yet here she is, second-in-command to the epitome of darkness to torture green boi.

It’s not surprising, but it feels overused. Remember when Garmadon was brought back in season 8 as big bad boi? Some were concerned that the writers were reusing Garmadon’s character arc. Is that what happened, though? Personally, I thought it was wonderfully done. (Are you surprised? I mean, it’s not like I haven’t been ranting so much about how much I love season 8 what are you talking about-) I thought that this reincarnation of sort was tastefully done, and even better than previous incarnations of the whole “villian-Garmadon” fiasco.

I don’t feel the same way about Harumi’s return, especially if she’s just brought as the villain. I know this isn’t explained very well, especially as I’m comparing her to Garmadon of all people, but there’s a difference, I swear. For one, Garmadon’s state of mind during his season 8 comeback was in tune with the plot. It was established early-on that this would not be the same Garmadon we had seen in the past, and frankly, this Frankenstein-of-sorts was definitely something cohesive to the plot. With Harumi in Crystallized, it’s really hard not to feel as if she was just shoved in there for shock value.

So yeah, I really feel like there’s a big difference here.

So here’s the cinch, I think that bringing her back into this form as a villain really undermines the last-minute redemption that brought her character full-circle in the first place. Say that Harumi undergoes this kind of redemption in this season? I might think differently about it.

We have what? 22 more episodes to go? I’ve heard that this season’s a doozy, (but aren’t they all?)

Truthfully, and albeit cynical as I may be, I wouldn’t put my trust in the writers to cover this kind of characterization. (Or Lloyd’s trauma *cough cough*) While I was disappointed, I wasn’t surprised to see Harumi in this state again.

All I can hope for is a return to redemption for her. What will probably come for her: Death / permanent punishment for her actions.

SCREECH.

#Ninjago #harumi #crystallized #rant #long boi rant #what the heck #s16 #s15 #what season is this

12 notes · View notes

thiamfresh · 3 years ago

Note

Thoughts on queerbaiting?

honestly, rn just the term fills me with rage because people in the 911 fandom keep on throwing it around because of the Budding Buddie romance and it's just tiring me out. It's not just the 911 fandom tho. It seems that every fandom who has a ship who isn't canon (even if it's very obvious they never will be) you'll have a very loud section of the fandom screaming Queerbaiting.

To the point where we have real life people being accused of Queerbaiting because they're either not open about their sexuality to the entire fucking world (and why should they have to be) Or because they're straight but like to wear things other than black fucking tuxedos. And the ever growing common misuse of the term just..leads to more people using it which in turn makes people roll their eyes when they hear it.

When you have a legitimate queerbaiting complaint then abso-fucking-lutely you should slam the network/writers for it. but calling something queerbaiting when it really isn't is just leading the overuse and deterioration of the term to the point no one will take anyone saying "this is queerbaiting" seriously because everyone's been crying bait because two character who barely interact haven't fucked yet.

But yeah apart from the near fucking constant misuse of the term in recent years queerbaiting is a really shitty thing and as a part of the LGBT+ community myself I know how heartbreaking and like i don't know what the word is but when you're kinda soul goes >:(

The fact that we are like, visible and important enough to garner using marketing tactics to get us watching but we're not worth enough for our stories to actually be told and only be hinted at is really disheartening and I hate it. It's one of the reasons i'm so like, gaga for 911/Buddie right now because not only do we already have queer relationships being treated on par with their straight counterparts but we're also going to have a queer slowburn that's been given the same respect and treatment that you'd expect from a straight ship and for once it feels like i'm watching a show that actually sees who I am and is willing to write about people like me.

Having relationships like Hen/Karen and Michael/David that are treated normally and show the quiet /intimate moments that lgbt+ ships never usually get is just!! it does something for me you know!!

But anyway. back to queerbaiting/Teen wolf because I feel like you want me to mention Teen wolf in here somewhere.

I can say that Jeff is a particular brand of dickhead and the fact he's a part of the community and still sorta dangled carrots and had these "aha gotcha moments" at the expense of other LGBT+ people will forever piss me off.

I can't say that what he did is 'queerbaiting' as a whole but he definitely did use hints of sexuality and stuff to his advantage.

And I know I've said it before but as a 16 year old trying to figure out their own sexuality watching Stiles's possible bisexuality be constantly treated as a punchline was super damaging to me. If Jeff hadn't been so far up his own ass and had actually let Stiles explore his sexuality in some way I think I would've been able to come to terms with my own sexuality a lot fucking quicker rather than waiting another 5 years to admit i'm bi.

also. If i could strangle Jeff for the 'We're on a ship/Hey if you vote for us who knows what'll happen" Sterek video i would without hesitation

#answering asks #about me i guess?

26 notes · View notes

dangermousie · 3 years ago

Note

I would like to order a salty no. 3! (tropes, authors, actors)

Mmmm, our kitchen is at your command. Here is my salt shaker and it’s BIG!

Actors - I used to love Xu Kai but after the triple horror of Court Lady, Ancient Love Poetry and that esports mess with Miss Wooden Tree with Boobs, my eye starts twitching when he's mentioned for a role or even when I see a promo picture of him. He might go back on my good list at some point (I mean, I used to dislike Zhang Zhehan only to fall like a ton of bricks after WoH - great timing!) but right now any time I see his face twitch twitch twitch.

Hu Yitian is like a male Cheng Xiao - cannot act. His face doesn't do it for me either so I am just happy he mainly does moderns.

Cheng Xiao is the worst actress I've ever seen in a cdrama, which is saying something. She must have a hell of a sponsor but maybe they should stick her on a runway instead and not make me want to spork myself. She also keeps getting cast with fave after fave, as if she's on a mission to prove these men, who normally have great chemistry with anyone, cannot be defeated by her woodeness. When I think of the fact that she is about to be on my screen opposite Luo Yunxi, I begin to comprehend the cruelty of the universe.

The only good thing about the utter destruction of Zhang Zhehan (a topic I am not going to get into unless I rage stroke) is that there are two less Ju Jingyi dramas circulating out there. The only reason, she’s not the worst is because Cheng Xiao exists.

Dylan Wang and his handsome sheep face and his wooden lack of acting and the insane fact that they keep insisting on casting that man with the ultimate handsome miquetoast vibe as some violent, powerful, scary antiheroes, makes me long for...I don’t know what, but not a Dylan Wang drama. To paraphrase Groucho Marx, “whatever he is in, I’m against it.”

Wu Lei - he’s a decent enough actor but whoever thought he had the vibe for a powerful, wild, death on the battlefield barbarian general in The Long Ballad is the same person who keeps casting Dylan Wang as a badass. It burns my brain!

OK, switching to Korea. Kim Jung Hyun should make a comeback. He’s mega talented and his agency clearly leaked stuff to punish him for wanting to leave. Also, I don’t care how unprofessional he was - he was clearly having a mental heath crisis and was in an abusive relationship. Also, I don’t care if an actor is a bad person - his ex is a dumpster fire but she’s a good actress so she should act. I’d rather have a terrible person who can act (Lee Byung Hun), then a sweet person who can’t act (Taec.)

I am not sure if it’s an actors thing but whatever - people who ship actors in real life are insane and one of the reasons China had an excuse to crack down on fandom. (I don’t mean fun banter but people who genuinely believe X x Y are secretly banging. It’s called ACTING, people!)

Tropes: I love wrist-grab, noncon, amnesia, noble idiot, fakecest etc - all the tropes fandom hates either because they are overused or because they are problematic. I want my life to be original, wholesome and conflict free. I want my fiction to be the opposite.

Whoever makes period stories where the characters are modern characters in period garb should be set on fire.

Authors: Meatbun is one of the best authors and probably in Top 3 novelists I’ve ever read and people who do not appreciate 2ha (unless they cannot read it due to literally being triggered) have bad taste. And before anyone jumps down my throat for being an illiterate, I have been reading all sorts of things for decades, and was reading Euripides and Livy by third grade, took whole classes on scholastic writing and 16th century English poetry, can and do read books in three languages, and read an insane amount of both Russian and English 18th and 19th century novels.

Also, while I don’t want to compare average danmei and average het web novel since I don’t think I’ve read enough of either (I probably read over 100 web novels total but I think I’d have to read way more), a good/well-regarded danmei is way better than a good/well-regarded het web novel. I’ve never found the latter that made me really emotionally invested or one that had a wow plot.

On non-web novel front, Victorian novels and novelists were amazing. Also the whole worship of Hemingway spare style is stupid - Hemingway could get away with it because he was Hemingway. Your average author would vastly benefit from adding color to their writing.

People look down on romance novels because they are for women. Nobody looks down on those stupid spy thrillers which are equivalent for men.

If you haven’t read Jorge Amado, you wasted your entire life.

The end.

#asks

21 notes · View notes

bloody-wonder · 4 years ago

Note

heyyy okay so I just saw a post where people basically called the fandom out for ignoring the fact that Andrew is “abusive as fuck” to the other monsters while still bashing seth and aaron for their homophobia and I just uhhh- I would really like to hear your thoughts on this pls? Cus while I can definitely see how andrews relationship with them is not at all normal or healthy in many ways, I don’t really feel like abusive is the right word for it, is that just me?

firstly, while we’re on this topic i’d like to say a couple of words about the aaron discourse that seems to be back in fashion.

in fandoms we have this interesting desire to rank *problematic* behaviors in order of their graveness and then act as if this ranking is objective for all people everywhere. this is where the “you hate aaron bc he’s homophobic? well your fave actually killed a person so“ argument comes from. while there’s logic to the idea that being murdered is worse than being called a slur, for people who experience homophobia irl on a daily basis a fictional murder will never be as upsetting as fictional homophobia. conversely, other fans who don’t fall into this category but might relate to aaron for different reasons (bc he happens to be a well-rounded character) are confused by how he’s branded as the worst while the other foxes (especially the monsters) are right there and feel the need to make the fandom appreciate him more by writing that kind of posts comparing his flaws and shortcomings to those of the other foxes according to the questionable but binding ranking of all sins. and round and round the discourse goes bc the latter party can’t imagine how for many people homophobia can take the highest rank of Problématique despite being “not as bad as murder” or whatever.

if you’re able-bodied and able-minded it’s likely that all the ableism in aftg went over your head. if you’re not queer and haven’t experienced homophobia it might be easier for you to look past it in aaron’s case and be able to appreciate him as a character despite it. if “asexual spectrum” and “amatonormativity” are terms you don’t give much thought to in your day-to-day life, you probably see nicky in a completely different light than i do. all of these things are objectively wrong but if one is worse than the other is completely subjective for each individual. there will always be people who like aaron and those who dislike him and i’m afraid no amount of discourse will drastically change their opinions.

returning to your question, a lot can be said about andrew and all the bad things he does. a lot has been said. if you’re after some good andrew bashing i feel like there are quite a few blogs out there who can provide. even in our corner of the fandom where we worship and idolize andrew joseph minyard we still discuss his flaws from time to time. the only reason we haven’t done that recently is bc according to our latest decree “andrew hasn’t done anything wrong ever and we love him and in fact he deserves more opportunities to stab people”. so the argument that andrew’s problematic behaviors don’t get discussed enough doesn’t seem true to me. but it’s not really about that, is it? it’s about not enough people liking aaron and seth and too many people liking andrew - according to op. whereas his crimes are higher (or at least as high) in the ranking of crimes - according to op. but here’s the thing - like i said all of this is very subjective, some people just like andrew despite everything and will never like aaron no matter how strong your argument in his favor is. they’re not politicians in an election campaign, they’re imaginary people who we get attached to bc they make us feel better about ourselves. but if they were politicians and the election was held on tumblr andrew would win in a landslide just bc the voters are mostly queer and andrew’s gay and aaron’s homophobic. that’s how it works.

and finally as for the word “abusive”, before i used to get mad at how people use it all too often and dilute its meaning but nowadays i’m just wondering if this is just simple etymological evolution: at first “abusive” was used to designate only the gravest kinds of mistreatment, but then people became aware of its rhetorical effect and now this word seems to mean “acts i personally find unacceptable” - which can range from more to less harmful. for the sake of intelligible discussions it would be helpful to use different words for different acts in that range, but you can’t really generate enough engagement with words like “annoying”, “offensive” or “harmful” and many users don’t really pursue intelligible discussion anyway. i personally like the word “problematic” which suits me well bc it requires futher explanation of why you perceive something as a problem and it doesn’t have the indicator of its graveness built in. however, i can also see how bc it’s been overused in the past to the point where it itself became a meme, some people can’t take it seriously anymore. “problematic” sounds like a joke so people have to call things “abusive” to be taken seriously. “abusive” is the new “problematic”. this is something i perceive as well so i often try to distance myself from the word by writing it in funny ways but i still use it bc i know no better umbrella term for things that i consider “not good” but wouldn’t go as far as to call them “abusive”.

that being said, what exactly you designate as *problematic* matters as well. for example, i would call some of andrew’s behaviors problematic bc, you know, they are a problem, but i wouldn’t call his relationship with the monsters problematic. strained, difficult, lacking communication, even “not a friendship” if you wish, but no, not problematic and certainly not abusive.

#andrew minyard #aaron minyard #all for the game #the foxhole court #aftg mine #aftg ask #i love aaron with all my heart but if i had to choose between him and andrew i wouldn’t hesitate even for a second #just bc andrew is one of the main characters and we spend so much more time with him and so i feel like i know him much better #whereas with aaron interpretations can differ drastically #like i love my version of aaron but it’s mostly self-projection you know #sorry for the huge ass rant but i've been seeing my mutuals make *you're allowed to dislike aaron* posts for several weeks now #and i'm upset that they feel the need to #fellow aaron stans who make people feel like they're not allowed to hate aaron #shame on you #anyways #if everybody likes him the aaron market will become inflated #we need people with healthy disgust for aaron's homophobia and generally unpleasant personality #so that our biome can thrive

67 notes · View notes

readyplayerhobi · 4 years ago

Text

Flower | 33

; Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Fluff, angst

; Word Count: 6.1k

; Warnings: Discussion of car accident, brief sexual content mention, depiction of a PTSD/panic attack

; Synopsis: You finally decide to take a dip into the world of online dating and find the Flower dating app. One of the top matches for you proves to be a guy who looks to be your complete opposite; tattooed, pierced, a metalhead and oh…incredibly handsome. What happens when you throw caution to the wind and reach out to him?

; A/N: This is a bit earlier than usual but I want to get it out while it was done and I was feeling okay about it...work and job rejections have been hitting ol’ self-confidence hard so writing is a bit tougher than normal. I’ve gone through this for grammar but I haven’t properly proof read. I hope you all enjoy this though and please send me comments and feedback so I know what you think! I love to read them and it helps to boost me :)

; Flower Masterpost

Straightening up, you winced before rubbing at the small of your back before stretching. It was summer, which meant the sun was shining strongly. As much as you like the sun, you weren’t so much of a fan when you knelt in the grass for hours on end. The sunhat on your head helped a little, as did the sunglasses but your skin was shiny with the veneer of sweat.

You were hot, and with a deep sigh, you wiped across your forehead with your arm. The thick gardening gloves on your hands were covered in dirt and compost, keeping your hands clean but also making them incredibly warm. As much as you enjoyed gardening, it felt like a chore in the heat of a summer’s day.

But at least you had some company for your misery today. Your mom was knelt next to you, leaning forward and diligently weeding her beloved flowers. Hoseok and you had come over for the day, intending to feast yourselves on your dad’s famous pot roast before heading home with a bag full of leftovers that would be eaten at work.

Watching your mom closely for a moment, you felt a surge of warmth and love for her. You never really noticed how much older she looked now; the lines on her face that were deepening and the greys in her hair that were multiplying more than you liked. It was easy to miss the passage of time on your parents when you weren’t paying attention too closely, but now that you stopped and looked at her closely you could see it.

You hoped she was happy with how her life had turned out. Even if it wasn’t the best, that’s all you wanted for your parents. To be happy and proud of you.

“So, what’s your plan for your yard? Are you going to get that porch built that you wanted? I wouldn’t bother trying to do any of your gardens and flowers at the moment. Unless you’re planning on planting flowers that will bloom in autumn and winter. Though there are some pretty ones. I’ll have a look online for you and find the best ones if you want? Maybe we can get your garden looking all nice together, a little mother-daughter bonding time.” Smiling at her, you nod your head slowly.

“Sounds good. Though we haven’t bought it yet. Officially. I mean, they’ve accepted our offer but now it’s all that legal stuff, you know? So I don’t feel too comfortable changing anything just yet, just in case anything goes wrong.” There’s a slight hesitance to your tone. So small that you don’t even realise it’s there, but your mom recognises it.

Sitting up, she stretches as well before shifting until she’s sitting cross-legged and facing you. There’s a wince on her face from overused joints that are ageing but she doesn’t complain, instead just looking at you intently.

“What’s wrong? I can tell there’s something. Is there something wrong with the house or anything like that?” It’s amazing how easily she picks up on things like but she did raise you. Cleaned you up when you were younger and you fell over, taught you everything you know and helped to make sure you grew to be the best version of yourself.

“No. No, there’s nothing wrong with the house. Or with Hoseok, before you ask. It’s just...I feel a little stressed. Or worried rather worried that’s better. More accurate. It’s just...a house, you know? It’s a big purchase, really expensive and it’s permanent. If anything happens with Hoseok and me then we have to go through the whole process of selling it and splitting the proceeds. And then we have to move out and I wouldn’t have a home anymore and-” The gentle pressure of your mom’s hand on your arm causes you to pause.

She has a gentle smile on her face and an understanding expression which soothes whatever frayed nerves you have. This is probably one of the few times you wouldn’t feel comfortable talking about this issue with Hoseok, being too worried he might take offence or something. But your mom understood.

“Sometimes...I think you get way too caught up in your thoughts. I want you to consider something, okay? Yes, it might all fall apart and it might not work out. But what if it does work out? What if everything is perfect and you get a nice house? And then Hoseok proposes and you get married. Then in fifty years, you can be telling your grandchildren all about meeting their grandad and falling in love in your lovely home.” Snorting slightly, you can’t help but roll your eyes slightly as your lips quirk.

“We’re not having kids, remember?” She makes an expression indicating she’s remembering what you’d told her. Your parents hadn’t been surprised to find out Hoseok didn’t want kids either. If anything, they’d been pleased because they knew how much you wanted to remain childfree.

“Yes, yes, but you know what I mean. Sometimes you just have to go with it. Enjoy your life in the moment sweetheart, you’ve spent far too long focusing on the negative aspects of life in my opinion. Just...take the time to enjoy the fact that you’re able to buy a house with the man you love and who loves you back. I can’t predict the future or anything but...I think you’re both going to be happy. So just focus on that, okay? You’ve got a nice little house to work on together, two cars, a cute cat, a good job and a great relationship. Focus on the positives.” Letting go of your arm, she took your hand before squeezing in reassurance.

Taking a deep breath, you let it out slowly before shifting and reaching out to carry on gardening. You know that your mom is right, but it’s still a worry that buzzes in your stomach continuously. That something will go wrong and you’ll have no home along with no Hoseok.

The very thought of not having Hoseok in your life anymore makes your breath stutter, lungs freezing until you’re pressing a hand against your chest to try and coax them back to life. One of the reasons you’d been so nervous about getting into a serious relationship had been because you were terrified of falling in love only to have it all stolen from you.

It still scared you, the idea that one day you might wake up alone and that you’d never see or talk to him again. But that was just because you loved him so much that the very idea of not being with him anymore hurt. You wondered if Hoseok felt the same, deep emotions that you did.

“I know...I know. I can’t help it, you know? I’m trying, I promise. Hoseok’s finally convinced me to give therapy a try. The antidepressants are working well but I still have moments, you know? I don’t feel entirely settled and this whole house thing is getting me a little stressed. Not because of the house itself but...just everything it symbolises. So I’ve got an appointment for one next month, the earliest I could get.” Shrugging, you smile at her before digging back into the soil to make a hole for the flowers your mom had bought.

“Good, I’m glad. I hope it works. My advice to you is to just take everything a day at a time, okay? It’ll all work out for you.” There’s a quiet reassurance in her words and you can’t help but relax, knowing that for now at least you can just enjoy yourself without any negative thoughts.

A loud groan leaves her as she stretches once more, a loud crack emanating from her back as her bones move and you wince slightly. Reaching over, you rub at her back soothingly and laugh as she lets out a deep sigh before thanking you.

“Okay, finish that flower off and then we’ll head inside. My back is killing me and I just want to sit down for a bit.” Nodding at her, you let her go before finishing off the flowerbed and packing up all the gardening stuff into the small shed your dad had built last year.

Hands grasping at your waist cause you to shriek in surprise, spinning around and getting ready to push at the intruder. The sight of your boyfriend, his expression full of mischief, causes you to relax to the point your eyes are rolling.

“Hoseok! God, I thought you were some rando.” Hissing, you push lightly at his stomach and pout. A tiny bit of an over-reaction but if you couldn’t be dramatic with Hoseok then who could you be? He knew you weren’t truly bothered by his playfulness, especially when you leaned into his body a little.

“Bit weird for a rando to be in your parent’s backyard,” His arms slide around you, hugging you tightly and practically moulding your back to his front. “But no, it’s just your loveable weirdo.”

Snorting, you continue to carefully put away everything into their specified areas. Your mom liked things to look neat and tidy at all times now, which meant you were having to find where everything belonged. Otherwise, you’d get a phone call that would result in you being berated for leaving the shed messy.

“Is the door finished then?” Hoseok had volunteered to help your dad repaint the front door and start varnishing the porch steps. That had been around three hours ago, so you could only assume that not only were they finished but that he was probably famished. You’d discovered he seemed to have that stereotypical guy’s stomach in that it was a black hole which would eat anything and everything.

Burrowing his face into your neck, he hums in acknowledgement. Closing the drawer, you twist around until you can slip your arms around him in turn. Unlike the normal smell you’d come to adore, today he smelled of the overwhelmingly strong chemicals in the polish he’d used. It didn’t smell great and you wrinkled your nose, unhappy at the fact it wasn’t what you were used to but unwilling to move away from him.

“Thank you, for helping him. He’s been wanting that porch done for years now but his knees are so bad.” None of that is new information to Hoseok and you suspected that was why he’d volunteered to do it. To the point that he’d even headed out with your dad to the local DIY store to grab everything that they would need.

The look of happiness on your dad’s face when he’d realised that he was finally going to get one of his jobs finished had made you almost want to cry with emotion. You hadn’t though, but you were giving Hoseok a tight hug to convey your gratitude to him for being a good person. The quick kiss was just an afterthought, but he’d earned that too.

Wandering hands tell you that he’s more frisky than you’d thought he would be after the work he’d been doing, and it’s only when he squeezes a good handful of your ass that you pull away with laughter. While you still weren’t a big fan of your ass, it was still a little too big for your insecurities, Hoseok was very much a fan.

What some people call ‘an ass man’.

“Hoseok, come on. We have to go in and I am not doing anything with you in my parent’s shed. Plus, you got a blowjob this morning! I need to go help sort the vegetables out for dinner an-” Warm lips pressed against your own interrupt you, their softness making you give in almost instantly as you just enjoyed him.

Little butterflies were fluttering in your stomach as he just lazily kissed you, no urgency to his movements despite what you’d just said. Still, you didn’t push him away. He still remembered, even after over two years, that you enjoyed just kissing. Catching up on all the times you’d missed out on as a teenager and the intermittent years.

So you were loath to pull away from him; especially when he was doing what you imagined a loved-up teenage couple would do when out of sight of their parents. It was fun. Plus, Hoseok was a great kisser.

Finally, though, he stops and leans back to grin at you. It’s a testament to how much you are attracted to and love him with how strong the urge to drop to your knees for him right then and there. Maybe he could have two blowjobs in one day.

“Okay, we can go in now. Do you need help with the vegetables?” The way he changes the mood so quickly has you almost experiencing whiplash, eyes widening as you watch him turn around and walk out. Bringing a hand palm up, you squint at his back and mouth out ‘what the fuck?’ before following him.

By the time you manage to catch up to him, giving him a slightly sullen look even if you’d been the one to deny anything was going to happen, he’s already entering the house. The air is rich with the scent of slow-cooking pot roast and you sigh in contentment, heading into the kitchen.

“You can help if you want. Hey mom, it’s okay. We’ll do that for you.” Gently, you push her away from the counter and take the peeler from her hand. She looks between you both with a quizzical look, her lips quirked up into a half-smile when Hoseok just starts to wash his hands with no complaints before taking control of the carrots.

Thankfully, she doesn’t say anything except for thanks as she leaves you both to it. You get the strong feeling that she’s bemused he’s helping you without complaint or further prodding. As much as your dad likes to cook on occasion, he usually takes a little bit of convincing to get him to help out.

“Oh hey, there’s stuff to make my mom’s roast potatoes...do you want me to make them?” You don’t see the curious expression on your mom’s face as she tilts her head, watching as Hoseok lifts a bottle of soy sauce and the grinder full of black pepper. Instead, you’re too busy making an excited face at him as you nod eagerly.

“Oh my god, yes! My parents have never had them before. I think it’ll go well too as my dad always likes to put everything in the cupboard in his pot roast…”

“You know...you weren’t kidding when you said that there was a high chance that I could end up getting the shits from your dad’s pot roast. That was a spicy ass meal. God, it tasted so damn good though. I’m glad he made so much for us to take back.” Hoseok was sat, or rather slouched, in the passenger seat of your car.

A hand was resting on his stomach, which looked to be holding a significant food baby. Snorting with laughter, you nodded in agreement before grinning as he let his head loll on the backseat. You’d been telling him about your dad’s infamous pot roast for a long time now and he’d finally gotten to experience it.

On top of that, your parents had been wowed by the roast potatoes Hoseok had made using his mom’s recipe. To the point that your mom had begged him to tell her how to make them, at which he’d made a big show about having to ask his mom for permission.

Somehow, that had all led to her calling his mom to formally ask for it. Even though Hoseok had been joking about it and fully intended to let her know how to make it. An hour after that, when you’d finally left after bidding your dad goodnight and with a bag full of leftover roast in Tupperware, your mom’s were still chattering away to each other.

You didn’t have too much experience with how parents were supposed to interact with each other but you were pretty sure becoming close friends wasn’t too normal. But again, you didn’t have any relevant experience here so maybe it was.

“Have you ever seen Step Brothers?” The question comes out of nowhere but Hoseok’s used to it by now. He doesn’t even look over at you in confusion or amusement, just answers you like you’d asked him what his favourite colour is.

“Yeah, why?”

“I think our moms just did that whole ‘did we become best friends?!’ thing.” Now he’s the one letting out a snort, his smile big enough that you can spot it out of the corner of your eye. He knows exactly what you mean, nodding even though you can’t see him properly.

“I think they did. You know, I’m not sure if this is a good or a bad thing. We’ll never be left alone now, you know that right?” Shrugging, you flex your fingers on the steering wheel and enjoy the texture of the leather beneath your hands. You were already approaching home, the roads quiet in the warm evening sun as everyone probably spent time in their yards.

“I like your mom. And I like my mom...sooo, I don’t see any problem with that.” Given you’re focusing on the road, you don’t notice the droll stare he gives you. Which is probably a good thing, because you’d just poke him if you had seen it.

“Are you kidding? Okay, maybe it’s just me that won’t be left alone then. I’ll never be able to do anything wrong. Whether it’s trivial or something serious.” There’s a serious whine to his voice and a glance over shows you that he’s pouting almost comically, causing you to giggle at his protruding lower lip. He may be a little dirty and sweaty from his day’s work, covered in tattoos and piercings but he just looked adorable.

“Well...I guess you’ll have to be on your best behaviour then, won’t you?”

“Very funny. I tell you, I’m going to hear about everything tiny thi-” He’s cut off by your loud cursing, the words coarse and filled with vitriol as you glare at the asshole who almost hit you. Slamming on the brake, you jerk forward hard as the car stops far quicker than you expected and the seat belt feels almost like it’s choking.

“Fucking hell, these brakes are sharper than I expected.” You exclaim, resting your hands in the perfect driving position on the wheel while letting out a deep breath to calm yourself. Glaring down the road, you note that the other car isn’t even there anymore and you can’t help yourself from flipping the bird in the air.

You were at the last intersection before your street, the opening just ahead of the traffic lights that had been green for you. Which meant that they had been red for whoever that ass was. It hadn’t stopped them from speeding as they ran their red, coming within inches of hitting your side of the car if you hadn’t braked so suddenly.

Shuddering, you crack your neck and wince as you rub at it, hoping you hadn’t caused yourself whiplash. Setting off again, you scowl before realising you were hearing a weird noise. Frowning deeply, you look over the display to see if any warning lights have come on before realising it’s coming from your side.

It takes one look to realise Hoseok is very much not okay.

He’s paler than you’ve ever seen and that immediately startles you, but what’s even more worrying is the way he’s got a death grip on the door handle and his seat cushion. You have to look away from him sooner than you would have liked given you were still driving, turning into the street with the house in sight now but you could hear him.

And you weren’t sure that you’d ever heard something so...haunting.

It was like he couldn’t breathe properly; his chest constricted or something while pained noises were being dragged out of his throat. You don’t even realise that you’ve sped up, subconsciously trying to get home and park so that you can help your boyfriend with whatever’s going on.

He’s still making those horrible sounds and breathing like he’s run a marathon when you pull into the drive, putting the parking brake on and turning the engine off before turning to him. Reaching out a hand slowly, it’s only when you can feel his bicep that you realise he’s trembling. No, not trembling. He’s shaking almost violently despite his death grip on the car.

“Hobi...Hoseok. Baby, what’s wrong? What’s wrong?” You didn’t know what to do, and you didn’t understand what was happening. Why was he acting like this? Like he’d just seen a ghost or something.

And then it clicks in your head. The intersection, the idiot who almost hit you, the way you’d slammed on the brakes and cursed a storm. For you, it had just been an annoyance and a near miss. But Hoseok had been in a situation like that when he was a child, and it hadn’t been a near miss.

“Oh, shit. Shit. Fuck,” Muttering, you look around the car as you wonder how to break him out of whatever attack he’s suffering. “It’s okay, Hoseok. It’s okay, I’m here. You’re safe, you’re okay. I promise.”

As you try to find something to jar him out of his memories, you talk to him constantly. It’s utter nonsense what you’re saying but you want to make sure he can hear someone he loves, reassures him that he’s not alone. Glancing over to him, you swallow thickly at how panicked and frightened he looks.

Pulling out the tube of hard peppermints that had been living in your bag for probably two years at this point, you thrust them into his nose. It’s probably a dumb thing to do but something you’d learnt since your panic attack had been that a good way to get people out of the looping fear was something unexpected.

The strong scent of the hard-pressed mints was probably hard to miss given you jammed it against his nose a little too hard. There was white powder left, which wouldn’t look too great if anyone happened to see him, but you didn’t care. It worked.

Yanking his head back suddenly, Hoseok took a deep breath that sounded more painful than you like before looking at you with wide eyes. Letting the mints drop to the floor, you shift until you can reach and cup his face in your hands.

He feels cold yet the apples of his cheeks are so hot, his breath still faster than you liked but there’s coherence in his gaze. The Hoseok you know and love is back, no longer trapped in the memory of an eight-year-old. Guilt overwhelms you as you realise that you’d probably caused this.

“Hobi…” Is all you manage to get out before you’re stopped once more. Only this time, it’s by the way his face crumples and his eyes glisten as tears bank in them. It makes your chest tighten painfully to see him hurting; especially given how he so clearly tries not to let himself fall over the edge.

It’s only when your thumbs gently stroke at the skin of his cheeks, soft yet ever so slightly prickly from his evening shadow that was beginning to make itself known, that he cracks. The tears slowly slide down his face, each one shining in the evening light while his lips wobble as he tries to keep them pressed together.

“Baby, it’s okay. You’re okay, we’re okay.” You’re pretty positive that you’ve never seen anything more heartbreaking than watching Hoseok slowly break down. The rock in your turbulent emotions and mind, eroding as the dark currents of his mind hit at his weak points.

He just stares at you for a moment before he’s grasping at the door handle, breathing heavily before almost throwing himself out of the car. For a moment, you just stared out of the open door, watching as Hoseok practically scrambles for the porch of your house. It takes a few seconds for your brain to finally catch up, propelling you out of the car to follow him.

Crouching down, you reach out slowly to see if he’d be okay with you touching him. He’s sat down, the faded white paint on the old porch looking chipped and dirty as he rests a hand on it. When he doesn’t push you away, you carefully sit down next to him and rub his back in slow, soothing movements.

You can feel the muscles there shaking, his limbs still trembling slightly from the traumatic memory he’d probably had. Not a word has passed from his lips, only heavy breathing that he’s slowly managing to regulate once more and worry fills you.

“Hoseok...it’s okay. You’re okay,” Shuffling a little closer, you move your hand up to stroke the short hair at the nape of his neck. “I’m okay, you’re okay. We’re home. Nothing bad happened. I’m sorry for triggering bad memories.”

Hoseok shakes his head suddenly, the movement fierce and firm. Eyes widening, you let out a small ‘eep’ as he wraps his arms around you and hugs you tightly. This gesture is much different from his earlier embrace in your parent’s shed. There’s a little more urgency to this, the way his hands run along you isn’t sensual but more like he’s reassuring himself that you’re real.

That you are okay.

“You’re not hurt, you’re okay. Right? No pain, n-no injuries? You’re okay?” His voice quivers, breaking halfway through his words and your heart contracts at the sight of the fear in his eyes. The tears are still falling down his face, almost like he doesn’t realise and you gently cup his cheeks once more, wiping away at them.

This time, he seems to recognise your touch fully and leans into it, pressing his forehead against yours as a choked sob sounds from his throat. Cooing to him, you rearrange him until his head is buried in the space between your neck and shoulder, his larger frame seeming so small as you wrap your arms around him protectively.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay, I swear. Nothing happened. That asshole ran the red light but I braked quick enough. I was just angry at him, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to...to do this. I’m so sorry.” Now it’s your turn for your voice to crack, emotions tumbling together at seeing him so afraid and upset.

“S’not you. It wasn’t you,” He mumbles against your hoodie, squeezing you a little tighter. “It was...it was just the sound and the feeling. The brakes screeching, the cursing, being thrown forward. It was...I was back there. Then, back then. It was just so similar. The intersection and it all just...I guess my mind just got lost in it. It was like I was reliving that moment in my head; both here and back then. I could hear you but I could hear my parents, my sister. I couldn’t figure out what was real.”

You didn’t have any experience with this, with any of it and you didn’t know what to do. From your limited experience of watching shows and movies, you guessed he’d had some kind of flashback to his childhood accident. The sounds and movements of the incident throwing him back decades into that traumatic moment. You felt stupid that you’d never even considered he could still have some form of PTSD it.

At least, you assumed that’s what it was.

“You’re here. Here with me and we’re okay. I don’t...I gotta be honest baby, I don’t want to say. Or do. What do you need from me?” You hated having to ask that, putting the onus on him to figure out what you should be doing to help him. But you had no idea, you’d never dealt with this. You couldn’t even manage your panic attacks, nevermind one caused by a flashback.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. Don’t stress about it. You got me out of my head, that was good. Quick thinking,” Pulling away from you, he laces his fingers together before lowering his head till it’s between his knees and just breathes slowly. “Fuck, I’ve not had one of those in a long time.”

“You’ve had them before?”

There’s silence for a few minutes as he just breathes slowly, his eyes closed as he forces himself to relax. Twisting his lips, he rolls his head and the crack of his neck is loud in the quietness of the street. You don’t push him, letting him take his time to get to terms with what had just happened.

It was a good thing because you weren’t entirely sure what you were meant to do.

“Yeah. I used to get them when I was a kid. It took months for my parents to convince me to get in a car after it happened. Certain things would just...trigger a panic attack or a flashback like then. I can’t listen to the song that was on the radio at the time and...well as you’ve just seen, a sequence of events like that sets me off. A lot of my behaviour when I was younger, was a result of the PTSD from the accident. I thought I’d pretty much got past having these incidents as it’s been forever since I’ve had one.” Wiping at his face, he looks away from you and down towards the end of the road.

Wiggling over to him, you lean against him supportively before carefully taking his hand and linking your fingers. He lets you, his hand mostly limp except the slightest tremble of his fingers. Running the fingers of your free hand along the back of his, you rest your head on his shoulder.

“Don’t be angry or upset or anything, you can’t help it. I know very well that we can’t control what our brains do. It probably thinks it’s trying to protect you somehow but...you got through it pretty quickly. You’re okay and you’re here, talking to me rationally pretty quickly. Maybe you had this because you weren’t driving, right? So you weren’t able to do anything about it. When you’re driving, your mind is usually focused on something else.” Part of you recognises that you’re just rambling crap to him but you want to keep him listening. Make sure that he doesn’t fall back into his mind.

Turning to look at you, Hoseok gives you a weak smile and you feel pain in your chest at how tired and sad he looks suddenly. All signs of your happy and boisterous boyfriend have vanished for the moment. You’ve never felt more useless.

“Yeah, probably. You’re probably right. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin-” Cutting him off with a sharp gesture, you gently poke at his arm before smiling.

“Don’t apologise. Please don’t apologise for something you can’t control. You tell me this all the time, so now I get to tell you. It’s okay to not be okay, remember? All I care about is that you’re okay, that you’re not hurting or scared. That’s it. I don’t care that it happened, I only care about you.” His eyes look a little watery again at that, his smile weak yet a little happier than before.

“I know it’s early but...can we just go to bed? Just nap or something? I’m so tired. From working on the porch earlier and from this, I just want to cuddle you and sleep.” Tilting your head, you scan over him slowly and sigh softly.

Hoseok looks tired, his shoulders slumping and back slouching from the weight of everything. It’s the least you can do for him, especially if that’s all he wants. So you nod, smiling at him before squeezing his hand.

“Sure. You go head in, I’ll grab the stuff and put it away then come up.” Standing, you head over to the car to grab everything your parents had given you to bring home. The sound of Hoseok’s keys jangling together as he opens the door is familiar, as is the door closing to prevent Kasumi from getting out. A glance back tells you that he’s inside and you let your head drop, hands resting on the cushion of the backseat as you take a deep breath.

Taking the time to just inhale and exhale slowly, you tell yourself to relax as well. Just as you’d told him that he was okay and safe, you had to acknowledge the same for you now as well. Seeing Hoseok like that was scary and you would be happy if you never saw anything like that again. It hurt to see him afraid, to see him cry and struggle with himself. Was this what it was like for him when you were experiencing a bad mental health day?

Shaking your head, you blow the air out of your cheeks before looking up at the sky. The colours are starting to become more extravagant and vibrant, the blue deepening into purples, pinks and oranges as the sun sets. It’s still warm out but there’s a pleasant breeze that cools you, blowing gently through the grass and the branches of the trees that line the road.

It all looks so peaceful and calm, so unlike what you’d been experiencing not even ten minutes ago. Swallowing, you grabbed the bags and pulled them out, closing the door and locking the car before heading inside.

His shoes are alongside the others but there’s no sign of him downstairs. No noise coming from the bedroom either and you look up the stairs with a concerned expression. You didn’t know what to do, what was right to do. So all you could do was what he asked.

Quickly putting away the leftover food and baked goods your mom had given you, you head upstairs to the bedroom. The curtains are already closed, leaving the room darker than in the hallway and a glance at the clothes hamper lets you guess he’s probably gotten into some comfy pyjamas.

The shape underneath the covers doesn’t move, but you smile at seeing Kasumi laid alongside him with wide and unblinking eyes. Quickly pulling your clothes off, you get into a fresh pair of pyjamas as well before heading over to the bed, placing your phone on the bedside table.

“Hey, pretty girl. Are you looking after daddy?” Whispering, you slide into bed and stroke at her soft fur. Hoseok’s eyes shine slightly in the dim light, the covers pulled up to his chin in an almost protective way as he watches you shower love onto Kasumi.

Turning your attention to him, you take him in for a moment with a soft smile. Gravity makes his cheeks softer and rounder while lying down, his lips pouting a little more than normal while his hair half flops onto the pillow. He looks adorable, yet there’s still that vulnerability in his eyes.

“Do you want to be the little spoon?” You ask, grinning when he nods quietly. It takes no time for you to shuffle forward, meeting him in the middle of the bed and wrapping your arms around him. He nuzzles his head into the space below your chin, his arms trapped between both your bodies while you throw your leg over him as well.

Grinning to yourself despite the serious situation earlier, you can’t help but find some peace and happiness at this moment. To know that he loved you enough to feel safe in your embrace like this, to feel protected and not silly. You were smaller than him, yet you knew that you would keep him as safe as you possibly could.

Reaching up, you alternate between running the strands of his hair through your fingers and massaging his scalp in the way he likes. A quiet rumble of appreciation leaves him at the feeling, his body relaxing in your arms. It would never fail to amuse you how easily you could get him to sleep just by playing with his hair. And you wanted him to sleep right now, to have good and pleasant dreams to rid himself of the anxiety and panic from earlier.

Pressing your lips to his head, you sigh quietly and tell him something that you rarely vocalise. Normally it’s hard to get the words out, but today they flow easily and you can practically feel the way he relaxes even further.

“I love you.”

342 notes · View notes

vostokovasmelina · 4 years ago

Text

cold blue eyes.

for anonymous

pairing: thomas shelby x fem!reader

word count: 1.9k

warning: it’s just proper heartbreak, innit? - heavy argument with the overuse of the f-word

request: can i request something with tommy shelby? maybe something where he's got cold towards the reader who's his wife and she tries to ignore it and brush it off but in the end, she approaches tommy about it? so they have a huge fight over it which preferably ends in bittersweet fluff? sorry for getting too specific, but thanks in advance xx

a/n: wow the peaky blinders fans are fucking fast wow this request was so interesting in its own dark way, that it got me thinking about it straightaway. hope you’ll like the angst of it all, even though my writing is straight-up cringy but hey so is tommy so it’s okay xx

Thomas Shelby had never been a man of words. He’d hardly ever used them to express his love for you, and though it was unusual at first, you’d soon got used to his private, mostly physical expression of affection, even in the most gentle ways. In fact, you’d got so used to them over time that it had become your biggest comfort and you couldn’t have imagined life without the reassuring touch of your husband, even if it only meant a warm hand on your shoulder.

However, with time, it had all changed. And it wasn’t even the lack of intimacy in bed that stuck out to you- it was the small gestures that kept getting rare, all the secret brushes of fingers and brief embraces that you had loved so much became basically non-existent.

At first, you didn’t give it much thought. You knew too well that Tommy had always had off days when the last thing he craved was someone being close to him- even you weren’t an exception. Of course, the first few times it hurt and you tried so hard to understand the reason, but soon realised it would be better for both of you if you just gave Tommy space and time, and let him fall into your embrace once he was ready again. But, much to your pleasure, these times didn’t last longer than a few days and you could easily distract your own thoughts with work, both in and outside the house. Sometimes, you needed that extra time to yourself as well and you knew that your husband would tell you anything you needed to know about.

This is why you had got so concerned after a few weeks of Tommy practically avoiding you any chance he could. He never touched you, not even in bed and completely stopped seeking your gaze when laughing as he used to. At first, you wanted to get close to him, you attended every family meeting the Shelbys had, only to listen to your hudband’s voice, otherwise you wouldn’t have had the chance to hear him talk at all. However, you soon got bored of his attitude and decided it would be for the best to start avoiding your husband as well.

Four difficult months had passed like this. You barely ever spoke a word to each other and most of the questions were answered with a word or a groan. You tried to find out what was wrong with Tommy, you tried to understand his changed behaviour towards you, but once he started coming home later and later, sometimes after you had fallen fast asleep and you started getting suspicious of him having a lover and getting bored of you, you gave up. You didn’t try anymore, you felt like it had already taken way too much of your energy. You put on a mask every morning and only took it off at night, once you were ready to sleep, alone.

You played your role so well that no one even noticed. However, once you stopped going to family meetings and spent much more time in isolation, Aunt Pol started getting suspicious. Once you were alone during breakfast, she slowly put her sandwich down and ask you about it, hitting the nail straight in the head.

“What is the matter with you and Tommy lately? And don’t you dare try to feed me some non-answer bullshit, young lady,” she exclaimed, raising her index finger at you and letting it fall back down slowly.

You gently cleared your throat and looked at the older woman from under your eyelashes, really not being in the mood for this conversation. However, Polly had never had taken ‘no’ for an answer.

“It’s-It’s nothing, Pol. You shouldn’t be worried about us. It’s just a bump in the road, everyone has them. We’ll get over it,” you replied, keeping your voice low even though you two were alone in the whole house.

“Yeah, everyone has them, you two definitely have them but it’s never something this major. You’ve always worked through everything within days. What’s different now?” She kept eyeing you in such a serious way that all the emotions you had managed to bottle up, started breaking through. You couldn’t stand Pol’s gaze for a moment, so you lowered your head just again, pushing away your own breakfast that you had barely touched yet.

“I don’t know, Pol! I would tell you if I knew! I just- I feel isolated, I feel left behind by him, Pol, and I don’t know what to do about it anymore,” you breathed out before your first tear could hit the soft tablecloth. Once it rolled down your cheek, however, there was no stopping. You buried your face in your palms and inhaled deeply, trying to keep yourself from breaking down. Thomas Shelby was just a stupid man who was not worth crying over. Not even if said stupid man happened to be your husband.

You slowly collected yourself with Aunt Pol wrapping a protective arm around your shoulders but still giving you some space by not saying a word.

However, the same time you pulled away from her and she handed you her own handkerchief, you heard the front door open and heavy steps approach the room. Tommy stopped in his tracks as he saw your red and teary eyes, and Aunt Pol took a deep breath before standing up, collecting her hat and basket.

“Great timing as always, Thomas. I’ll need to get some shopping done, you two will have just enough time to sort whatever you haven’t yet, out,” she commented, taking one last reassuring look at you before slamming the door shut behind her.

Tommy took off his hat and put it on the table slowly, lowering his head once you looked up at him. You let out a sarcastic chuckle at the sight.

“Can’t even look at me now, Thomas? I’m your wife, for fuck’s sake! If you have a problem with me, you tell me first!” You were incredibly close to yelling, incredibly close to letting everyone in the neighbourhood know that Thomas Shelby had married a madwoman, but you couldn’t care less anymore. This was getting ridiculous and unbearable, and if you had to do it the ugly way, you would do it the ugly way.

Tommy did take his time to look up at you again and you waited. Some more waiting wouldn’t hurt, right? And it was already a great sign that he hadn’t stormed out of the house yet.

Once he raised his cold blue eyes at you, however, a disturbing feeling ran through you but you didn’t give it any thought. You looked deep in those blue eyes and searched for some, any feeling your husband might have had left for you. You could see he was tired, but you were, too. Tired of living your days avoided by your own husband, the man who had loved you so deeply for years. But you weren’t willing to give up on it any time soon.

“Tommy, please- Just tell me what’s wrong, I can’t take it anymore. It’s been months. Months, Tommy! Do you even understand how difficult it has been?” You whispered, standing up and taking small steps closer to the man you still loved. He looked down at you with his cold expression, and suddenly you realised that disturbing feeling. It was like he was only one step away from letting you go, just one push to ruin everything you had built up together.

But there was also love in his eyes, even if only a rather small amount hidden behind indifference. That was what you held onto, what you wanted to save no matter how hard it all hurt.

“Difficult? For you? Sitting comfortably at home all day, not having to be worried about death lurking in every corner? Congratulations Y/N for having survived all these months! You’re a hero!”

You raised a hand to slap him without even thinking about it. You only realised what you were going to do when you felt Tommy’s fingers wrap around your wrist to keep you from hitting him, your husband letting you go once he saw you had changed your mind. However, it didn’t change the weight of his words.

“I’ve been through all that, too, you know that! I’ve been through it all and worse but once I settle down and keep my hands clean of blood, I’m just a weak fucking woman in your eyes, right? Well guess what, you’re fucking wrong, Thomas Shelby!” You were yelling now, eyes filling with tears just again and you didn’t care about them staining your cheeks anymore. You were so angry that you couldn’ve burnt the whole house to the ground if it was your property.

Thomas lowered his eyes again and you were sure he was thinking about what you had just said. And he had no answer to that.

“Yeah, damn right. I might not be a fucking Shelby, but it’s not just you lot who have to carry their baggage around or have to fear for your lives. When will you understand that?” You continued. completely outraged at your husband’s constant indifference to your words. You wanted him to react, you wanted to hurt him with your words, so he would finally get what it had been like for you. But Thomas Shelby was a cold man, mostly keeping to himself and you were afraid weren’t going to get that kind of pleasure from him any time soon.

You closed your eyes and kept them shut for a few seconds, letting the heavy silence wrap around both of you, calming you down and making Tommy finally say something. When he cleared his throat, you opened your eyes just again to be met by his.

“I’m sorry. I truly am. I don’t- I don’t even know what got to me. I just- I’ve had a stressful time and I did what I always do, but I took it too far this time,” he finally said in a low husky voice, reaching out for your hands. Once his cold fingers intertwined with your warm ones, you let out a sigh and leant your forehead against your husband’s. “Can you forgive me?”

“Of course I can forgive you. Just please, don’t do this to me, ever again. I was starting to think you might not love me anymore, that you keep a mistress or-”

“A mistress? Y/N, seriously?” He questioned, a small smile lurking in the corner of his mouth as you punched his shoulder playfully.

“Stop it, Thomas. I’m bloody serious. I really did think-,” you inhaled deeply before you continued. “I really did think you had no love left for me anymore,” you blurted out, shutting your eyes once more because you just couldn’t stand Tommy’s gaze now.

He let silence settle in the room before grabbing your waist and pulling you in for an embrace you hadn’t had in an awfully long time. You wrapped your arms around your husband’s neck as if you were holding onto life and felt the shivers running down your spine when his breath tickled the sensitive skin on your neck. Tommy pulled you in even closer and he was not going to let you go any time soon.

“I only have love left for you, Y/N.”

#peaky blinders #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinder headcanon #thomas shelby #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby angst #tommy shelby #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby angst #cillian murphy #cillian murphy x reader #john shelby #arthur shelby #michael gray #finn shelby #isaiah jesus

576 notes · View notes

demig00ddess · 4 years ago

Text

Sleeping Beauty

Charlie Weasley x MC

Warning: huge spoilers for Year 6 Chapter 18!

————————————————————

CHAPTER FOUR

THE CONSEQUENCES OF DEATH

1989. Middle of the first semester. The quill in the hands creaked monotonously, writing words on the paper. Professor Binns’ voice and the stifling atmosphere of the office were slowly putting in the trance. Emma bit her cheek more painfully and continued to take notes on the lecture. Behind the farthest desk, Binns’ rustling voice was hard to hear, so Emma regularly consulted the textbook. Two seats were empty in the first rows. One of them is next to Penny, there was always Rowan. The second — next to Charlie, he occupied it for Emma every lesson. Today Emma quietly slipped into the office just before the start of the lecture so as not to meet with her classmates. Penny sat down next to Charlie and whispered something in his ear. For some reason, Emma felt as if she had swallowed the bubotuber pus. She shook her head, for sure it seemed to her because of fatigue. She was satisfied with the back seat, but the fact that someone else was sitting in her place next to Charlie was a little annoying. Charlie listened to Penny and nodded absently. He looked around uneasily, trying to see someone or something. Emma was glad that she was safely hidden from the front desks by the backs of her classmates.

“… delegated authority to Wizn… Wesegn… to Wizengamot.” Emma stubbornly wrote down the professor’s words, despite the fact that her hands were shaking and big blots remained on the parchment. She felt sleepy, but she could not afford to fall asleep. There was a bright flash of green light in front of closed eyes. The Dreamless Sleep Potion they had been brewing on Potions had run out. The dose from the hospital wing that Madame Pomfrey had advised not to overuse had ended too. But after such a sleep, she got up even more tired. A flash of green and Rowan’s body falls right in front of her. The friend’s eyes are wide open in surprise, her mouth is slightly open in a silent scream. “Debt collected.” Emma could not bear it, she woke up with a cry and tears in her eyes. The silencing charms she put on her bed every night kept her from waking an already worried Liz. Whatever Merula said, the same charms were imposed on her bed, she could not afford to be considered weak by anyone, not even Izmelda. Every time Emma closed her eyes, there was a green flash and the body of her best friend fell in front of her. At first, it was only memories of Rowan, but then a deadly beam hit Ben, and he fell dead in front of Emma. Merula died next, then Charlie, Penny, Barnaby, Bill, Tonks. Her friends threw themselves under a killing spell, and she could only watch their lifeless bodies fall to the ground. Emma tried to revive Jae and Badeya, begged Tulip to get up, but they were all dead. Charlie turned around again and Emma looked away. There was her own cry in her ears when a green beam hit him when the red head hit the ground and her tears fell on the freckles on his still warm face.

Emma doubled over to stifle the pulling pain and rumbling in her stomach. After eating, she felt sleepy, but she couldn’t sleep. After lights out, she would sit up in the Slytherin common room with her books and send especially curious juniors to the bedrooms. Most of the teachers averted their eyes from her as if they didn’t want to disturb her. Snape gave her an incomprehensible look as she submitted an essay on the Draught of Living Death a foot longer than he demanded. And Flitwick freed her from homework, after, because of trembling hands, she conjured not a small fountain of water, but a real tsunami, flooding the office. During the day, Emma wandered and loitered about the castle, avoiding familiar faces. She shunned talking, trying to hide in a niche or take refuge in some class. She felt that some part of her had died and now she could not exist normally. She wandered half-dead.

An idea came to the head like lightning. Half-dead! Surely! How the thought didn’t occur to her at once. Emma jotted down hastily Binns’ last words. “Professor! Professor Binns, please wait!” Emma made her way through classmates. “Um, Underwood? Do you want anything?” Emma hesitated a little, she didn’t think what exactly she would ask the teacher. The classroom was empty and she finally found the words. “Professor, I wanted to know about Rowan, Rowan Khanna. She always said that she wanted to be the youngest professor at Hogwarts. Um — Couldn'tshestayherelikeyou?” “Excuse me?” “Couldn’t she become a ghost? I mean, you came back to teach students, she could come back too. She would have come up with everything, finish her studies, and then began to teach. I’m sure Professor Dumbledore would have let her! She could have stayed here! Haven’t you… haven’t you seen her?” Emma blurted it all out in one breath, afraid that the professor would interrupt her. Binns adjusted his glasses and for the first time looked at Emma like that, with the keen, clear gaze that Emma often saw in Dumbledore. “Miss Khanna was a gifted witch. And for all her love of teaching, she was drawn to explore and learn something new.” Emma stared at the old professor. “So rest assured, Miss Underwood, she went ahead.” “Went ahead? Where did she go?” “Unfortunately, I do not possess these facts. But you should know she’s not coming back. I’m sorry, this is a big loss for Hogwarts.” Binn turned and walked through the board. “For Hogwarts,” Emma repeated. It seemed to her that Rowan had died a second time, again in front of her eyes. She had already seen her friend, ethereal, pearl-silver, but talking to her and laughing. But Rowan went ahead. Emma stuffed a quill and blob-strewn lecture notes into her bag. She wanted to hide somewhere, in Moaning Myrtle’s toilet or a dark closet. She had no strength to return to the common room.

At the exit from the class she was caught by someone’s strong hands, Emma jerked sharply, holding a wand to the attacker's neck. She could feel her heart pounding thumping deep in her head. “I have to defend myself.” “Emma,” Charlie gently moved the trembling wand away from his neck. Emma freed herself from his grasp and dashed down the hallway. “Emma! I want to talk! Please!” “Not now, Charlie,” she wanted to hide quickly. Charlie caught up with her and gently turned her around. He didn’t insist but asked. There was not a drop of pity in his bright eyes, they were full of concern. He examined her carefully as if trying to see if she had done something bad to herself. “You were right,” Emma turned her gaze into his boots. “You better stay away from me. Everyone should stay away from me.” She turned and walked away. She had already lost one friend and couldn’t bear to lose someone else. Charlie caught up with her again and grabbed her into his arms. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I should never have said those words to you. You are my — You’re my best friend and I will be by your side. Whenever you need me, I’ll be there for you.” Emma shook her head, pulling back. “Your brothers — ” “My brothers will support me,” Charlie interrupted her, he was confident in his words. His eyes said that he would not let anyone else hurt her. Emma felt her eyes fill with tears. The students scurried along the corridor and Emma again had a keen desire to hide. “Come with me,” Charlie whispered in her ear.

They walked and walked until they came to a sprawling tree near the lake, scaring several of the Hufflepuff freshmen out of there. Charlie hit the ground first, rummaged in his bag, pulled out the sandwiches wrapped in a napkin, and handed it to Emma. “How long have you not eaten?” “A couple of days, maybe more,” Emma sat down next to him and sniffed at the sandwiches. “How did you know?” “Couldn’t find you in the Great Hall.” Emma took a bite of her sandwich and put it aside, feeling nauseous. Charlie looked at her closely but said nothing. They sat in silence for a few minutes, Emma bit by bit on the sandwich to keep from getting sick. “I spoke to Nearly Headless Nick. Also asked about… this.” “What did he say?” “The same as Binns.” Emma felt a tear roll down her cheek. “I saw Rowan’s parents yesterday, they came to pick up her things. I visited them every summer. They loved her so much…” Emma burst out, talking and talking, ignoring the tears. Charlie just sat there and listened. When Emma finished and exhaled helplessly, he leaned her head on his shoulder and began to speak. He told her stories that he had heard from his mother as a child. He talked about the books he had read. Emma lay on his shoulder and listened, inhaling the scent of grass, honeysuckle, and something else very familiar. She didn’t notice as her eyes began to close, and Charlie’s voice seemed to ring out farther and farther.

She didn’t get much sleep, Emma woke up from her own scream, she was tossing around, not knowing where she was. She was choking on tears and couldn’t breathe, it seemed that someone had sucked all the air out of her lungs. “Shh. I’m here, everything is fine,” Charlie’s quiet and soft voice rang out over her ear. He put his arm around Emma, stroking her hair soothingly. She sobbed and grabbed his hand, afraid to let go. “Do you want me to tell a tale about the fountain of Fair Fortune?” asked Charlie a few minutes later, when Emma calmed down. She nodded. “Jacob used to tell me this story when I couldn’t sleep.” “Now you need to sleep too. I’m not such a good storyteller, but I hope you like it. High on a hill in an enchanted garden, enclosed by tall walls and protected by strong magic, flowed the Fountain of Fair Fortune…”

When Emma woke up, the sun was already setting, she was lying on Charlie’s lap, covered by his jacket. Charlie himself was reading a book, only wearing a sweater. Emma jumped awkwardly and blushed. “Did you get some sleep?” Charlie pulled out a blade of grass tangled in her hair. The tips of his ears turned pink. Emma nodded in surprise, she slept for hours without nightmares. “You smiled in your sleep. I missed it, your smile I mean.” Emma flushed and hastily turned away, pretending to straighten her clothes. She vaguely remembered what she had dreamed, but Charlie was definitely there. “Well, he’s your friend, the others must have been in the dream too,” she told herself.

Charlie had already packed his things, got to his feet and gave her a hand. Emma got up, too, and handed him his jacket. “Don’t,” Charlie threw the jacket over her shoulders. “You can freeze after sleep.” “Are we going to the castle yet?” Emma tried to hide the disappointment in her voice. “We’re in time for dinner. Sit down at the Gryffindor table, okay? You need to eat, and you're boycotting food.” Emma’s stomach purred in agreement. Charlie gave her a bribing look, “Penny also wanted to sit with us while we are allowed.” “Oh,” at the mention of Penny, appetite disappeared. “Oh?” Charlie asked. “Did you have a fight?” “No, I didn’t mean that.” Emma said, not understanding why she was angry at Penny. She always supported Emma and wished only the best for her. They walked in silence for a few minutes, lost in their own thoughts. Finally, Emma broke down. “You and Penny have become very close, haven’t you?” “Yes,” Charlie said simply. “Especially recently. We spend a lot of time together.” “Oh,” Emma said again, and they both fell silent.

An unpleasant weight filled Emma’s chest, making her difficult to breathe. She noticed this even during their trip to Romania, but then she wasn’t up to it, she was too keen on their adventure. But since… since the moment… Emma couldn’t bring herself to say what had happened even in her thoughts. For the last couple of weeks, Charlie and Penny have hardly ever parted, and for some reason it hurt her. Emma was happy for her friends, she loved both Penny and Charlie, as friends, of course. And it was great that they got together. Something was still gnawing at her, but Emma brushed the thought away. She didn’t want to be selfish, and even more she didn’t want to interfere with the happiness of her best friends. Especially in these times.

“Glad for you,” Emma said already at the castle. “Sorry?” Charlie snapped out of his thoughts. “I’m glad for you and Penny, that you’re getting close,” she explained, trying to avoid Charlie’s gaze. “Thank you,” Charlie looked surprised, letting her into the Great Hall. “I’ll eat at my table,” Emma said sullenly. “But — ” “I’ll eat, I promise. I just… want to eat at my usual place. Alone,” she added hastily, noticing that Charlie had something to say. He nodded and gave her a confused smile. “Then I’ll see you later, right?” They went in opposite directions, joining their classmates. A few minutes later, Penny entered the Great Hall and went straight to the Gryffindor table. Charlie said something to Penny, who was smiling contentedly. Emma poked at the broccoli with her fork and looked away from the chatting couple.

After dinner, Emma hurried down to the dungeons, once again avoiding her friends, and began to write an essay on the Orion constellation. It wasn’t until she was getting ready for bed that she realized that she hadn’t given Charlie his jacket back. Already in bed, having applied a silencing charm, Emma picked up the jacket in her hands, pondered for a couple of seconds and wrapped herself in it, curling up on the bed. The familiar smells immediately enveloped her, and she closed her eyes. “Cinnamon” flashed through her head in the dream. The smell that haunted her for a long time was the light scent of cinnamon. It smelled like that at home when, years ago, her dad made cinnamon rolls, according to grandmother’s recipe. Emma buried her nose in the jacket and fell asleep with a smile on her face.

It was the second time in two weeks that she had no nightmares.

#sleeping beauty #hogwarts mystery #emma anderson #charlie weasley #penny haywood #hphm #hphm mc #harry potter hogwarts mystery #emma anderson x charlie weasley #hphm charlie #charlie x mc #hphm jacobs sibling #hogwarts #harry potter universe #harry potter #hp

40 notes · View notes

jamaiskookie · 4 years ago

Text

Yoongi Doesn’t Romance [myg x reader]

✂︎ warnings: excessive cursing, bad writing

✂︎ word count: 6.6k (I meant to write a very short drabble… aHAHHA)

✂︎ genre: it’s.. literally just crack. Good dosing of cheesy romance and overused cliches

✂︎ A/N: it took awhile but we here!!! with a short drabble but still!!! hope you enjoy this cringey fluffy fic full of shameless jimin and shy yoongi- arguably the best yoongi

masterlist asks

✂︎ synopsis: yoongi isn’t great at expressing feelings- especially with how nervous he gets around you. alternatively titled: yoongi sucks at romance

“... and I don’t understand why you’re so hell bent on denying it! You obviously have a crush on him!” You roll your eyes at Namjoon, flicking your index finger at his forehead and watching as he flinches and lets out multiple sounds of pain, which you promptly ignored.

“I’m denying my crush because he so obviously doesn’t like me back! He hates me, Joon. He literally detests me.” You say, jumping back onto the stained and cluttered couch that occupies most of you and Namjoon’s shared dorm.

“And I’m telling you that you’re overthinking it,” Namjoon says, chewing on some popcorn. “I don’t think he hates you, you’re just exaggerating things.”

“I am not!” You protest, swinging your head around to look Namjoon dead straight in the eyes. “He hates me! He practically leaps out of the room whenever I’m around.” Namjoon opens his mouth to reply, but is cut off by Taehyung, who is currently seated two feet away on a small thrifted chair.

“Shhhhhhhh-” His eyes are still fixated on the TV screen, watching the random nature documentary playing that you and Namjoon had long ago abandoned. You and Namjoon both watch Taehyung for a second amusedly as he attempts to stuff popcorn kernels in his mouth and completely misses the mark. You’ll have to remind him to clean up the floor later.

“But,” Namjoon whispers to you, “Literally every time you aren’t around I swear all he can do is run his mouth on and on about you.”

“Not true!” You yell, squeaking out a quick apology to Tae, who glared at you for interrupting the segment on apes. Something about how apes can learn languages, but you’re not too sure. “Lies!” You hiss, elbowing Namjoon in the rib.

“Ow-!” He jumps back, wincing. “Why do you always resort to violence?” You didn’t have an answer to that question, unfortunately. “And I’m not lying! I swear on my bonsai trees he always asks where you are whenever you don’t show up to stuff.”

“Maybe he just wants to know how much glorious time he has left before he has to face me again.” You offer, tearing open what must be your third dorito family pack of the night. (It’s fine, you’ll burn it off by running to class tomorrow when you’re inevitably late once again.) “Namjoon, face the facts: he only tolerates my presence occasionally because we share a couple of mutual friends. If it weren’t for you and the other guys, he would’ve already started a hate club for me, I’m sure of it”

Namjoon stared at you exasperatedly, before muttering something that very suspiciously sounded like ‘God you’re such a dumbass’ before taking out his phone to swipe through Tinder, not uttering another word to you.

Despite Namjoon’s utter and complete lies, you don’t exaggerate anything when it comes to Min Yoongi. Not his hatred towards you, or how he speaks two words maximum every year directed at you, or your massive slight crush that you’ve harboured for him, or how cute he looks with beanies on, or how you almost fainted that one time you saw him playing basketball, or- well, you get it.

The point is, you can’t acknowledge your crush on Yoongi (Even though everyone around you is fully aware of it) because he seems to completely resent you and your existence for no reason in particular. Namjoon, Taehyung, Jimin, and many others insist that he doesn’t hate you as much as you think, but you dismiss their stupid assumptions time and time again. You’d love to believe them, but the evidence and first hand experiences you’ve had says otherwise.

✂︎

Exhibit A: He seems to avoid you on campus, or anywhere you go. This one is actually quite impressive considering the classes you two share. You’ve never seen someone go so out of their way to ignore someone they don’t like. It’s pretty commemorable. Whenever you sit in the same row as him during a lecture, he’ll move seats. One time you waved at him at a coffee shop and he just strangely blushed, and bolted out of there faster than you could say ‘rejected’. Taehyung ended up saying it, all while laughing his ass off. (You made him pay for your coffee that day.) Everytime you head over to Jimin’s dorm, he’ll just blankly stare at you two and march straight towards his room and lock himself in there until you leave. He even gulpes and swerves away when he sees you in a hallway.

You know, that awkward thing when you’re heading the same direction so obviously you’d try and be slightly friendly and wave or something but then he’ll just suddenly turn around, navigating through the crowd of angry, late students and facing all that social pressure just so he doesn’t have to waVE BACK AT YOU- okay, maybe you aren’t as over this incident as you thought.

Exhibit B: He won’t speak to you or touch you or interact with you in any way. Okay, maybe ‘in any way’ is a teensy bit exaggerated, but he definitely seems to find trouble when you two are left alone for some strange reason. He seems to be fine when all your other friends are around, but he just looks so uncomfortable when it’s just you two. He won’t look you in the eye, and he’ll just mutter incomprehensible sentences under his breath.

A couple months ago you attempted to hold a decent conversation with him in the kitchen of Jin’s fancy ass apartment. After many awkward silences that you had to fill up with your timid and boring small talk, he just mumbled something and you had to watch him go into the bathroom and scream. Either he was having some really bad explosive diarrhea, or having to talk to you was just that excruciating. Apart from intense Uno game nights or when he’s under the influence of alcohol, you’ve never even heard Yoongi raise his voice!

How is it possible that just by talking to you, he feels the urge to scream? You aren’t that boring, you think-! Actually, now that you think about it, you did try and bring up sea otter fun facts as a conversation starter, so maybe that’s why he had to scream.

Personally, you think that sea otters are the most adorable creatures to ever grace the earth, but Yoongi does seem like the kind of guy to prefer bats or something like that.

Exhibit C: The elbow incident. This haunts you to this day, not just from the horrible humiliation, but if the two previous exhibit’s weren’t convincing enough, this was real cemented evidence that Min Yoongi hates your guts.

You were talking to Jimin about the significance of ‘Phineas and Ferb’ in the cinematic industry, when your dumbass had tripped and caught yourself on Min Yoongi’s fucking arm (His bicep, on a completely unrelated note, was much bigger and stronger than you had thought, which was a complete other source of anxiety.) You would much rather fall on the ground and break all your bones, because the look on Yoongi’s face as he stared down at you clutching his arm like some sort of idiot, could only be described as disgust or horrified. Maybe both. You immediately let go, of course, and blabbered out apology after apology, but all he did was just stare and blink owlishly at you.

You proceeded to blush madly and run away, hiding your face in Jimin’s chest, which was, in hindsight, not a good idea, considering how hard he was laughing at the time. (What you didn’t see was Yoongi staring from behind you, deciding to never wash the hoodie he was wearing ever again.)

So, that concludes your argument against Namjoon’s preposterous claim that ‘Yoongi doesn’t actually hate you Y/n, it’s all in your head’ Delusional, that’s what he is. How could someone like Min Yoongi, a person you have literally been drooling over for most of your academic career, a person who single handedly has every sorority girl wrapped around his finger, even tolerate your very existence, much less be attracted to you? No, none of it makes any sense. You’ll continue to hurt yourself by being around him, despite clearly knowing that he detests your presence, and will even deny the crush you’ve somehow managed to build up for him.

Because even though it hurts to see him flinch and ignore you, you truly do think that Yoongi is one of the greatest people to ever walk on this shitty earth. He’s caring, even if he does pretend to not care, he’s smart, passionate, ambitious, and you’d be absolutely lying if you said you haven’t dreamed of pinching those squishy cheeks he seems to hide away so often.

If only you knew why he hated you so much.

✂︎

All the way across campus, Yoongi was having a similar breakdown while Jimin looked on anxiously.

“God fucking dammit!” He screamed. The sound comes out slightly muffled since Jimin can only hear what he’s saying through the pillow that Yoongi currently has his face buried in. He kicks his legs up and whines, hitting the bed with his hands. Jimin is suddenly reminded of his 4 year old cousin who threw a tantrum when she didn’t get the doll she asked for.

“And then you know what I said, Chim?? Do you kNOW?” Yoongi’s been screaming for the past thirty minutes or so. Jimin’s surprised that nobody on campus has come pounding on their door telling them to shut up yet.

“Please, do enlighten me.” Jimin murmurs, picking at his nails.

“I said ‘Salutations’ AND THEN I RAN OUT THE FUCKING CLASSROOM.” Yoongi tilts his head up from the pillow and groans, scrunching his nose up at the embarrassing thought.

“At least it’s not as bad as the time you screamed in the middle of the street when she touched your shoulder… right?” Jimin offers timidly, forcing a smile on his face. An angry, sleep deprived Yoongi is already scary enough, but he’s ten times more intense when the source of anger comes from you.

Honestly, sometimes he wonders how effective it would be if he could just lock Yoongi and you in a room and force you two to admit your feelings for once. (Until he mentioned this idea to Namjoon, who dejectedly informed him that they’ve already tried that.) ((Yoongi broke out of the room using a bobby pin and sheer force of will)) He’s never even seen a pair so smart, and yet so obliviously naive. Anyone with functioning two eyes could see the horribly obvious feelings the both of you shared for each other. In fact, for the first couple months upon meeting Yoongi, he thought that you were his girlfriend, based on how much he talked about you. That assumption carried on when he met you, until Jin told him that the two of you were just in a weird phase of dumbasses who kinda flirt.

It’s not Yoongi’s fault that he’s so bad at having actual emotions that aren’t the tears of joy that he sheds whenever he gets free coffee from the barista at the local cafe, and it’s not your fault that your self esteem is too low to recognise that Yoongi basically worships you.

In theory, you two are a match made in heaven. Both just as stupid as the other.

“How do you do feelings, Jimin?” Yoongi sits up from the bed, and Jimin thinks that the tear tracks and defeated look on his face is a tad bit dramatic, but he chooses not to comment on it, for fear of his own life.

“... what?”

“You know, feelings. How do you romance?”

“... what?”

Yoongi, completely exasperated, throws his hands up in the air and turns around to face Jimin. “Everytime I try to talk to her by myself it’s like I’m a fish out of water. I get way too nervous, and then she starts talking about otters, and she’s way too pretty so I obviously start freaking out! I don’t know, you and Jungkook have been dating for a year now, right?” Jimin nods.

“How’d you do that.”

“... Are you asking me how I got a boyfriend or-? Because I assure you that 85% of getting Kookie to be my boyfriend had to do with my great ass, so I can’t really help you out there- ” Jimin laughs as he watches Yoongi squeal and cover his hands over his ears.

“Can I ask you for relationship advice without hearing about your sex life, please?” Yoongi pleads. “I know too many unnecessary things about how Jungkook is in bed.”

Jimin decides to put his friend out of his misery. He places a hand on his shoulder, and shoots him a soft smile.

“Yoongi, my young grasshopper- ” He retracts the hand when he sees the deathly stare Yoongi is looking at him with, but so far so good, “- there really isn’t much to it. Tell her you like her, and in the very, very, extremely small chance that she rejects you, so what? It’s not like you’re going to spend the rest of your life getting ov- ” Jimin’s voice falters again when Yoongi’s stare intensifies.

“You don’t get it!” He complains, throwing himself back onto the bed once again. “You’re all good at this sort of stuff!” Jimin tilts his head in confusion. “You know, relationships! Talking to people! And I’m pretty sure Y/n is the love of my life, so I’m literally going to break down if she rejects me! I’m going to cry for days, I already know it!” Yoongi stares up at the ceiling, pouting at nothing in particular.

“She’s so perfect, smart, nice, caring, funny, strong and incredible. It hurts that she’s never going to like me the way I like her.”

“You know, Yoongi, if you never talk to her, she’s never going to know you feel that way.”

He sighs and closes his eyes, while it takes all of Jimin’s strength to restrain himself from not throwing Yoongi out of the window.

Once he’s absolutely sure that Yoongi is fully asleep, he pinches the bridge of his nose and rolls his eyes. After a few quick taps, he brings his phone up to his ear.

“Guys, I can’t deal with him anymore. We have to do something.”

✂︎

“I would like to, once again, reiterate that I am 100% against this idea.”

“Shut up, Namjoon.” Namjoon grumbles something about being unappreciated, but continues to speak up.

“It’s a bad idea, Chim. Logically, there’s only a small chance this will work out in our favour, and if it doesn't, I’m at least certain that Yoongi will dislocate all of our limbs until we’re a pile of human flesh.”

Jimin dismisses the thought. “Yoongi would never do that to us.”

“Of course he would,” Taehyung piped up. “Do you remember the time he dyed my bright pink because I made fun of Y/n for her stupid heart patterned boots and she cried?” 10 pairs of eyes slowly looked up at Taehyung.

“Well, that’s justified, we all want to murder you.” Taehyung gasps at Jin, who smiles back at him in return.

“And also, you were being a huge asshole that day and you totally deserved it. The pink hair didn’t even look that bad.” Tae smiles proudly at Jimin.

“That’s true, I fucking slayed with that pink hair. I kinda miss it, actually… ” He hums thoughtfully, scratching his chin. Jimin looks away and scoffs. Taehyung’s one of his oldest friends, but sometimes he gets a little too art-kid-college-dropout-hipster for him to handle.

“Do you guys think I should dye my hair pink again?” Nobody answers his question.

“Tae might be an absolute douchebag, but he has a point. We all know how protective Yoongi is over Y/n. Are you willing to potentially risk your life if this doesn’t work out?” Curse Namjoon for being logical. Maybe Yoongi killing him is a bit of a stretch, but he would make Jimin’s life a living hell if this operation ended up a failure.

Nevertheless, he continues to insist. “Okay, what’s the worst that could happen? I physically can’t stand Yoongi stomping around the dorm because he’s emotionally incapable of working out his feelings anymore! Yesterday he fell asleep in my bed. My bed, Namjoon. For such a tiny man, he’s really fucking heavy, I couldn’t move him and had to crash on the couch for the night. If this doesn’t end up working, Yoongi will just go back home and mope around all day long. Nothing different from what he’s doing now.”

“Um, what’s the worst that could happen?“ Namjoon asks incredulously. “How about if Yoongi finds out we tricked him, invites us to a murder mystery party, but then decides to kill us instead, and covers it up by burying our cold hard, deAD bodies in a highly unhygienic GRAVEYARD? What will you do if that happens, Jimin?“

“..........“

Nobody says anything to Namjoon, and the boys turn to Jimin once again. Shaking his head, and attempting to ignore... whatever the hell Namjoon just did, Jimin speaks.

“Oh come on guys!” He shakes his shoulders and lightly taps his foot against the ground. “Aren’t you guys tired of dealing with these two dumbasses too?” A murmur of agreement seems to go around the group, and Jimin breaks into a huge smile.

“Well, gee,“ Namjoon mumbles sarcastically. “Why don’t you just make a Namjoon Facebook hate group?“ Taehyung shushes him.

Beside him, Jin and Jungkook are exchanging money, clearly for some kind of bet. What the bet entails, Jimin has no idea, but he doesn’t have the time to question them right now.

“So, we’re in?” Everyone slowly begins to nod, all except Namjoon. Jimin beams, looking up expectantly at him. Namjoon bites his lip, and squeezes his eyes shut.

“Fine.” He grumbles out, not acknowledging Jimin’s shouts of joy. “If this goes wrong though, you bitches better be fucking responsible.”

“Well, I’m happy you’re all on board, because Hoseok is already here.” Jimin happily smiled up to find Hobi shuffling through the cafe doors, waving enthusiastically at him. He also decides to ignore the collective round of groans and ‘Jimin!’’s that went around the table.

“Why did you even ask us for our opinions if you already planned this out anyway?” Jungkook hisses, awkwardly smiling at Hoseok.

“Because you guys can never say no to me!”

“That’s only because of how fucking annoying you are, Chimmy.” Jin moves over in order to let Hoseok sit, even though he doesn’t look overjoyed at having to abandon his favourite seat.

“Well, all of you look super happy to see me.” Hobi jokes, immediately picking up Namjoon’s milkshake to take a sip.

“Sorry that you had to get dragged into all this bullshit, Hobi,” Namjoon says, pushing his milkshake towards him and sticking a second straw in the cup.

“No problem! I love pissing Yoongi off!” The group slowly stares at Hobi, who is still cheerfully sipping at Joon’s milkshake.

“Well,” Taehyung mutters. “What else do you enjoy doing in your spare time? Drowning yourself in lava?”

“Taehyung, play nice. Some people are just special. Anyways, here is the plan for Operation: Delusional Idiots Who Need To Make Out.”

“... Can’t we shorten that?”

“Yeah, seems pretty lengthy.”

“How about Operation: DIWNTMO? Like, pronounced as diwinteemo?”

“That’s… even worse, somehow.”

“Let’s just shorten it to Operation: Delusional Idiots.”

Six voices, in the middle of the busiest cafe on the school campus, suddenly shout out the words ‘Operation: Delusional Idiots!’, and a cheer goes around the table.

Onlookers wonder if they are referring to themselves.

✂︎

In hindsight, Namjoon was probably right. But Jimin can be extremely convincing sometimes, and Jin takes every opportunity to throw a party, so maybe Namjoon was fighting a lost cause in the first place.

He ponders what he wants his tombstone to say, while pacing around Jin’s apartment, where the party is already going on, full force. Maybe something like ‘Kim Namjoon (1994-2020) Murdered by Min Yoongi at a house party.’ Well, at least if he really does die tonight, it would be a good night for it.

Namjoon has many complaints about Seokjin. He could probably pull up a never ending list of the girls and guys who have come complaining to him for his friend’s mistakes, screaming about how Jin broke their heart, so and so. But, even he has to begrudgingly agree, Kim Seokjin throws one hell of a party.

It was one of those rare nights where you could actually make out the faint stars in the Seoul skyline, where the twinkling of the stars felt peaceful. Namjoon isn’t too much of a party person, but the monsters that he calls his friends go out every Friday night, pulling him along most of the time. He’s gotten used to just camping out on Jin’s fancy apartment balcony, (Seriously, what kind of college kid has a balcony?) avoiding the cheers, loud screaming and horribly unhygienic things that are happening inside.

Unfortunately, thanks to Park Jimin and his horrible ideas, Namjoon is currently wincing in the middle of a huge crowd full of sweaty bodies. He regrets not faking a fever while he could, but it was way too late now. His job tonight was to keep Y/n preoccupied.

“Remember Joonie, under no circumstances can Y/n see Yoongi before Hoseok completes the task. If she even sees a glimpse of him, she’s going to freak out and leave.”

His aforementioned target was nowhere to be seen. Namjoon is starting to worry that all their efforts will go to waste just because you decided it was another Friday to stay in bed and watch Disney movies on repea-

“wHOA!” Another sweaty hand pulls him out from the crowd, and Namjoon stumbles out, breathing heavily.

“Why aren’t you out on the balcony?”

“Why- what- oH! Y/n!”

You stare blankly at Namjoon, who is still rubbing his arm in pain.

“You came!” He says, with a look on his face that you can’t quite decipher.

“What do you mean, I came? Of course I came! It was you and Jin who insisted I come, right?” You dragged him over to the makeshift bar that Jin had set up hours ago on his kitchen island, pouring the both of you strong drinks. You’ll need it to get through the night.

“Right!” Namjoon awkwardly laughs and follows you into the kitchen, craning his neck to lock eyes with Jimin, who then gives him a thumbs up and leans over to whisper to Hoseok.

“Y/n,” He says, patting your back when you start coughing lightly from the shot you just downed. “We’re friends no matter what, right?”

“What are you talking about?” You cut him off, looking around Jin’s apartment. “Wow, it’s pretty empty today. Aren’t there usually like 50 people trying to get into one of these parties?” Luckily for Namjoon, who was almost sweating and about to cry trying to come up with an excuse to satisfy you, you ignored him and continued talking.

“Whatever, it’s fine. The less, the better.” You’re still looking around the crowds when you grab a hold of Namjoon’s shoulders, turning him towards you. “Yoongi’s not here, right?”

“What? hahahHHAHAHA nO of course not!”

“Oh okay,” You breathe out a sigh of relief. “I look terrible today, I would not be able to face him.”

“You look great today! What do you mean…!” Hopefully you dismiss the bead of sweat trailing down from his temple. It is pretty hot in here.

Apparently, it took multiple threats, to Yoongi’s coffee machine and lots of bargaining from Jimin to convince him to attend the party, but it seemed to have worked, considering that Namjoon could make out the dark figure of Yoongi, dressed in a black hoodie and ripped jeans in the corner of the room, chatting to Jungkook. His eyes, however, were riveted straight beside him, on Y/n.

“They really are idiots.” Namjoon muses to himself.

“Hm?”

“Nothing.”

From the corner of his eye, Taehyung is waving his arms around trying to catch his attention. He mouths something that Namjoon can’t quite make out, so he just mouths a ‘what?’ back at him and shakes his head.

Namjoon can almost hear Taehyung sigh from across the room.

You’re still pouring your second shot, so you don’t notice as Hoseok walks slowly from the living room. Namjoon has actually never seen his friends more concentrated on anything in his life. Even Seokjin, who was, just a second ago, dancing with some guy that Namjoon isn’t even sure he knows, has now pushed the stranger away, completely fixated on Y/n, who is blissfully oblivious to the attention focused on you.

“Hey…!” Hoseok slowly slides in, real fucking smooth, if Namjoon could add, beside Y/n leaning on his forearm and smiling up towards her. Namjoon has to commend Jimin for the execution of Operation: Delusional Idiots. He’s honestly never seen Jimin put this much work into anything.

Hoseok was the only mutual friend they knew of that Yoongi was familiar with, but not Y/n. Jimin said that he had considered Jackson for a short while, before realising that Jackson can’t talk to girls for shit. At least Hoseok can force his thoughts into some semblance of order when he’s flirting.

“Oh! … Who,” You furrow your brows at Hobi, and Namjoon slowly backs away against the kitchen wall. “Are you?” Hobi laughs and spins around to face you.

“I guess you don’t know me. I’m Jung Hoseok,” He sticks his hand out and you tentatively shake it, making him grin. “I’m friends with Namjoon.” He points up at Namjoon, and Joon awkwardly smiles, waving back at the pair.

“Ohh,” You say, nodding. “Hi! Nice to meet you!” Sometimes Namjoon worries about you. You’re way too friendly and nice for your own good.

“I’m a dance major, actually. You can call me Hobi, by the way.” He smiles at you and finally lets go of your hand. “Are you sure we’ve never met before?” You shake your head, murmuring incoherently. “No, I didn’t think so. I’d remember you if we met.” You giggle and push him aside playfully, offering him a drink. Hoseok accepts it with a smile even wider than the last.

(Namjoon is now a little skeptical about Hoseok’s claims of flirting skill, but thankfully, you are, admittedly, a little stupid when it comes to this kind of stuff. You probably won’t even notice Hobi’s flirting with you at all.)

From the corner of the room, Yoongi’s deep gaze is now glaring deep into Hoseok’s back, but Hobi either seems to not notice or acknowledge it. He continues to stare at Y/n, laughing at whatever comes out of your mouth.

“You’re a dance major? That’s so cool!” You gush, and if he didn’t know you so much, Namjoon would think that you were flirting back. No, you were just that naive.

“- Thanks!” Hobi suddenly laughs at something that Namjoon didn’t manage to catch, but what he does catch is the look on Yoongi’s face when Hobi touches your forearm.

Even Jungkook, who was talking to Yoongi, gulped and took a step back. Jin gestures something to Jimin, and Jimin shoots back an enthusiastic thumbs up. He then shouts something over to Namjoon, but he can’t quite hear over the loud party noise.

Based on his own mediocre lip-reading skills, he either said ‘It’s going well’ or ‘Jungkook smells’ He’s thinking maybe it’s the first. Namjoon slides away from the kitchen to join Jin, who is happily watching all of this unfold from the sidelines.

“When do you think he’ll break?” Jin says, sipping on a bright blue drink that Namjoon doesn’t even want to know the contents of. He quickly glances over at Yoongi’s face, which is getting redder by the moment.

“Anytime now. His glass is about to explode from his grip.” Sure enough, Namjoon predicted correctly. A few moments later, Yoongi begins to stalk over to the kitchen, and Jin clinks his bright blue monstrous concoction against Namjoon’s glass. Grumbling, Jungkook also comes over and slaps a $10 dollar bill into Jin’s palm, scowling when Jin smiles and accepts it.

“Yeah, so a group of otters are actually called a romp, can you believe that- oomph!” Seemingly popping out of nowhere, Yoongi grabs a hold of your hand, glaring at Hobi.

“Yoongi!” You squeak out. Namjoon, that fucking liar! He left you all by yourself with a new friend and didn’t even bother telling you the love of your life was in the very same room? You didn’t even wash your hair yesterday night! Well, at least someone finally listened to what you have to say about otters… say, that was a bit unordinary, nobody else has ever been interested in your otter fun facts before-

Your trail of thought fades away when you look back up at Yoongi, who is still strangely looking at Hobi. “Um...” How is he holding you right now? He flinches away whenever you poke him on the shoulder, how is he holding your arm right now, completely unaffected? Oh.

Of course Yoongi wouldn’t touch you willingly. He just has to be stupidly noble and moral and save you when you’re alone with a man he isn’t familiar with. “Oh, ah… Yoongi! This is my new friend, Hobi! You have nothing to worry about, I was just talking to him about otters and- oh, nevermind. Anyways, you don’t… have… to… hold my hand anymore.” Well, at least you can save him from the embarrassment of holding your hand any longer.

“Yoongi, Yoon- Yoongi,” He doesn’t let go of your hand, even when you attempt to slip yours out of his. He seems to be gripping on, for a reason you can’t seem to comprehend. All he’s doing right now is maintaining eye contact with Hobi. Instead, he just glares into his eyes, repeating your words.

“Friends. Friends?”

“Yes, friends! Oh, ah, let me introduce you, um, Hobi, this is Yoongi, and Yoongi, this is-”

“Jung Hoseok. You call him Hobi?”

“Well, yes- oh! Do you two know each other, or?”

“Of course!” Hobi says, pouring another drink out. He stretches out his arm and offers the glass to Yoongi, but all he does is stare at the glass, not moving an inch. Still smiling brightly, Hobi just brought the glass to his lips, sipping on two separate drinks at a time.

“Long time no see, man! Yoongi, how’ve you been?” Yoongi, still clutching onto your hand, stayed silent for a while, all while Hobi continued to smile.

“I’m… fine.” He eventually chokes out.

“Yoongi, are you okay? You seem really-” You’re once again interrupted when Yoongi pulls you away, stomping out the kitchen. You lean backwards, yelling out a quick apology to Hobi, but he doesn’t seem affected in the slightest.

“Yoongi, you’re being rude! I said you don’t have to worry! Hobi is a new friend I met, he’s a friend of Namjoon’s, and we were just talking about otters-”

“Why are you defending yourself?” Boy, you just keep on getting interrupted tonight.

“Wha- huh?” Yoongi finally lets your hand go when he reaches the apartment door, shutting it closed, leaving it swinging in midair, even though he regretted it immediately after. You can still faintly hear the party going on through the door, but you had no time to process the fact that Yoongi just pulled you outside the party when he spoke up again.

“I said, why are you defending yourself like that? You have no reason to. You’re acting like I just caught you cheating.” Yoongi’s voice turns faint towards the end of his sentence, and he looks down at his feet, stuffing his hands into his hoodie pockets.

“I’m not defending myself! I’m just- I’m just, well, I-” You fumbled with your words, stuttering and fidgeting around with your fingers. Why were you defending yourself? It’s not like… Yeah, it’s not like you’re his girlfriend or anything.

“You can talk about otters to whoever you want. You might want to change up your flirting tactics though, not many people can put up with your strange obsession with otters-”

“hEY!”

“- Anyways, Hoseok’s, not a bad man. He’s pretty great, actually,” Yoongi admits. “He’ll treat you well. And he seems to be super interested in you, so… ” Yoongi clears his throat. You narrow your eyes and look down at his shuffling feet. This is probably the most Yoongi has ever spoken to you, in private, anyway. Why is he so unbothered? And why does that bother you so much? He doesn’t even care a little bit? Does Hobi really seem like such a great guy?

“You don’t care?”

“No, just, you know, don’t get hurt, or whatever. I’ll have to murder him… Or something.” You let out a small laugh, but he doesn’t seem to be joking.

“So, if I go straight back in and ask Hobi out, you wouldn’t mind?” You swear that a vein pops out from Yoongi’s neck, but perhaps it was just your imagination.

“Why would I mind?” He says, through clenched teeth.

“... You’re right. Why would you be mad? You don’t care about me anyways.” Something ticks in Yoongi’s jaw.

“What do you mean I don’t care for you?” He blurts out, just as you were about to head back through the apartment door.

“Oh no, please, it doesn’t bother me as much now, trust me. It’s fine, Some people just don’t… vibe with you, I get it! You don’t like me all that much, it’s okay! It’s not like you’ve hurt me or anything! You just don’t like talking to me because I’m kind of a dumbass, that’s alright. It’s okay to keep avoiding me. And again, I’m sorry for the whole elbow thing, you didn’t talk to me for like the next two weeks, and again, I totally understand, you know?” Yoongi stares at you, blinking in realisation.

“So… you mean to tell me that all this time, you’ve thought that… I didn’t like you?”

“Well,” Now you’re blinking confusedly along with him. “Isn’t that… why you run away everytime I come over to hangout with Jimin?” Yoongi brings his hands out of his pockets and buries his face in them, groaning.

“And that’s why you don’t like talking to me, right? And that one time I spoke to you and you went into the bathroom and screamed for like five minutes? … Do you not hate me?” A look of realisation floods his eyes, and Yoongi leans against the wall, slowly sinking down to the ground until he’s practically sprawled out on the floor. Staring aimlessly, he reaches up and grabs your hand again, pulling you down to face him. You let out a small squeak, but you crouch down on your feet, awkwardly looking at your right hand that Yoongi (!!!) is currently holding for the second (!!!!) time.

“Forgive me, Y/n.” He whispers, dropping his head onto your hand.

“Forgive you? What for? Yoongi this is a little dramatic, don’t you think? This is technically a public area, um, maybe you wanna go back to your dorm? I can call Jimin out here, I’m sure he’ll leave the party early, let me just-” He pulls you back and won’t let go, even when you try to stand and leave his grip.

“Yoongi!” Like a child clutching onto his mother, he just sits there and pouts, not letting your hand go.

“I’m sorry!” He wails, lightly kicking his feet up. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry for being my emo self and avoiding you, I’m sorry for making you think I hate you when that really isn’t the case at all, I’m sorry for being an idiot and screaming whenever you touched me, I promise that none of that was ever your fault, because you must have felt so hurt and disgusted by me-” Yoongi suddenly looks up and glares at you.

“Yah! Why didn’t you just slap me!”

“Slap… you?”

“Yes, slap some sense into me, you idiot! I was so mean to you, why didn’t you just tell me you were hurt?”

“Well,” You said, smiling nervously. “I wasn’t hurt!”

“Yes you were!” He wails again. Some sort of strangled noise comes from the back of his throat. “You must’ve been really hurt, and I’m sorry! I don’t want you to be hurt! I don’t want you to date Hobi, and I don’t want to lose you, because I’m selfish, and I’m fucking stupid!”

You speechlessly opened your mouth and closed it again, like a fish. Well, that was a full 180. What is he talking about? Apologising? You had dealt with the uncomfortable small talk and denying your feelings for years only to have him apologise now? You finally manage to open your mouth and firmly say something, but what comes out of your mouth is certainly not what you planned to say.

“Min Yoongi!” You yelled and watched him slightly tilt his head up. “How could you say that now!?” His head is fully up now, gazing at you slightly dazed. “How dare you mess with my feelings for the past two years, just to completely, unexpectedly, blurt all of this out outside of Seokjin’s shitty house party?” You cry, slouching down onto the ground and sitting cross legged. Your unoccupied hand reaches up to your hair, frustratingly running your hand through your messy locks.

“... If it counts for anything, I think that your obsession with otters is really cute.” You sniffle, for no particular reason, and nod.

“... Does that mean you like me then?”

“Y/n,” Yoongi sighs, taking your other hand out of your hair and placing it into his own. “Isn’t that obvious, you fucking dumbass?”

“You’re kinda giving off mixed signals here.” Yoongi squishes your cheeks together in a brave act from an unusual burst of courage that he managed to somehow build up.

“Y/n,”

“Mmph- Yesh?”

“I like you. I like you a lot. I’m sorry for being a dumbass who couldn’t ask you out, and I’m sorry I had to do this at Seokjin’s ‘shitty house party’, but I’d really like it if you would go on a date with me sometime.”

Yoongi releases your cheeks from his grip when you stay silent for a small while, red slowly creeping up from the neck up to his ears.

“I mean, you know, only if you want to, it’d be fine if all of that was just, you know… ” Yoongi mutters, gesturing around randomly.

“I’d love to go on a date with you, Yoongi.”

“Oh. Cool, that’s cool. That’s… yeah that’s cool.”

“Text me the details?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll, I’ll do- I’ll do that.”

You can hear a faint scream when you enter Seokjin’s apartment again, but instead of filling you with the insecure, horrible feeling like it once did, you just smile and giggle to yourself again. What you don’t seem to notice is Jimin, Jin, Joon, Tae, Jungkook and Hobi exchanging victorious glances across the room.

(About a week later, Yoongi took you to the zoo for your date. He slightly regretted that decision after you spent an hour making faces at the otters.)

224 notes · View notes