#just bc andrew is one of the main characters and we spend so much more time with him and so i feel like i know him much better

[kimkhimhant]

for the character ask game: neil josten

no idea who this guy is but i know he exists bc of you and im seriously considering starting aftg just to find out more

YIPPEEE thank you for the ask !!!! i hope to succeed in converting you <3

How I feel about this character

literally THE feral character of all time. take the son of a serial killer, send him on the run, and give him 0 normal socialization and 100 trauma, and the end result is neil abram josten. his teammates mourn another character's death and neil is like wow. they have so much humanity. and then he spends the next three books caring & loving so deeply that it changes everyone around him for the better. one thing i love so much about him is that even though he grows so much over the course of the series, the core of him remains the same. he is vicious and cunning and still manages to have so much capacity for gentleness. he is not preoccupied with how people *should* be so he sees them for who they really are and meets them there – which is one of the main things that makes andrew fall for him. he delights me to no end. 70% of the time i want to cry when i think about him.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

andrew!!!!! obviously. otp of all time. also, depending on the context, jean. they are almost never endgame for me, but that almost makes the ship better. they love each other, and they always will, but that doesn't mean they have to be together, ya know?

My non-romantic OTP for this character

jean again. matt. kevin.

My unpopular opinion about this character

he's often watered down into a much more cheery and talkative person than he is, and it frustrates me a little. almost all of his dailogue especially in the first book is snappy, angry and vicious. he does Not join the team ready to make friends – his goal is simply to spend the last few months of his life playing the sport he loves. when he's depicted as super chatty and easy to get along with i go a little ??? because 75% of the time when he opens his mouth it is to antagonize whoever he is speaking to. he's a lovable person but he's not *nice*

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

canon ended in a good spot for the narrative, but it means we are missing out on all of the trauma-fallout. i want to see the *after* where neil is forced to face the trauma of everything that has happened to him – because that kind of trauma *will* catch up to him in a very big and devastating way. we see some panic attacks and dissociation in canon, including the dissociative switch between his neil and nathaniel identities (you can pry DID neil from my cold dead hands), but for the amount of trauma he has experienced, there's bound to be a lot fallout in the aftermath, and i want to see how he & his new family deal with it and pick up the pieces. (thank you fanfic writers for giving us so many versions of this)

anyway!!! thank you so much for the ask! i hope you're even more tempted to read the series now <3

[capcavan]

Dear Cap-senpai, how does one come up with a cool, original and cohesive AU idea for AFTG? I want to write for these characters, but I have no idea where to even start. - Sincerely, a struggling writer

I am really honoured that you ask, because I see myself as mess I am just very devoted mess Making any sort of story is always the same no matter if you do fully original work or something based on pre existing IP You need to pick topic you enjoy this way you will have fun developing it it will make it feel like fun activity not work or effort. Ok lets take the Rikoi au as example bc my brain is right here right now general idea is ,, Riko as mermaid" now the question is how do i make the concept of mermaid tie into his family history i tie it into his design, i try to consider his background and possibly how his culture could tie into it - rikos family backstory - Japanese koi - i could read up some Japanese stories about koi to get even deeper - swamping number from arabic 1 to japanese to fit the theme bit more - moving moriyamas all the way back to Japan to have more traditional looking garden/pond environment for him so this is Riko but every universe and story need supporting cast [your cast can be 1-2 character it can be 5-20 or more how much you can handle but having more character makes your world and story feel more alive ] so now we have renee who because of her canon background witch charity becomes part of meer rescues team foxes who are half way house become meer sanctuary aaron and andrew who are the most different twins ever become 2 different species neils father who is piece of shit is still a piece of shit! <3 ilu nathan it's all about finding loose parallels! you don't have to tie things that way but finding things that tie your new AU yo canon even slightly will help other people understand the new dynamics and find something to relate to taking into account their love for original work when designing a story even for 1 character try to spend at least a bit to think of the world around them - aftg is actually great example of this - our main narration is made by neil who spoon feeds us very limited amount of information but in EC nora explained in much more detail how the whole world around him functions and motivations of other characters- we wouldn't knew those informations but nora wrote those books taking them into account this is why the relationships character formed have so much depth I also watch a lot of youtube videos about story analysis for video games and enjoy listening to essays about characters motivations !

[fortheloveofexy]

🕯️ 💥 💞 (@stabbyfoxandrew's main)

I just noticed there are two 🕯 questions on the ask game. Not sure which one you meant so I will just answer both!

🕯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

I think that positive engagement with fandom can really be a powerful motivator. Part of it is the dopamine hit you get from making something good that a lot of people like, but I also think that even just the smallest positive interaction with others can really build friendship and community.

I have friends whom I've known for years now, and our friendship started because we both agreed Andrew is beefy and got very loud and passionate about it! I have friends whom I only got to know because I was a new fandom author in need of beta readers. Hell, I've made friends with people because we were excited to talk about the omegaverse!

I think the important thing with fandom interactions is to remember that there is a full and complete human behind every username, and that fandom-related stuff is only as serious as you want it to be.

🕯️was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

Of all the fics I've written, More Than Words has been the hardest by far. I decided going into this fic that I wanted to incorporate a lot of elements and experiences from my own childhood into it, and that includes both good and bad experiences.

It has required that I examine memories and emotions I've long since tucked away, and that has been both deeply painful and extremely cathartic. Each chapter is emotionally exhausting to write, but it feels necessary to do so, both because I think it will help me process some shit and because I feel like it's a story that needs to be told.

💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

I'm gonna narrow this down to least kudos'd completed fic because I know there are some people who hold off on leaving kudos until a work is finished. So let's talk about And Baby, I'll Shut Up.

I'm actually quite happy with this one. It was a gift for my dear friend @halfpintpeach. I've never tried to write a fic based on a song before, so it was an interesting challenge to try an incorporate the lyrics and shape the themes of the song into a workable plot. In the end it's a very simple little fic, but I like the imagery and the prose quite a bit, so I'm happy with how it turned out.

💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

For me, it's the characters, always. I find that things like plot, worldbuilding and grammar cease to matter if your characters are not relatable, if not loveable. I love it when characters feel like fleshed out, real people, like friends I've never met and yet deeply know.

My technical writing is merely okay. I don't get too stressed about things like grammar - so long as it's readable and not distracting, I don't much care. I could spend ages perfecting it but really, it's not a big deal. The only thing I am really particular about is spelling, but that's because I personally find it distracting.

In my opinion, my prose is more serviceable than beautiful, and I'm okay with that. It's something I'd like to get better at in the long term, but honestly I think my prose being on the simpler side sometimes works in my favor, bc it means my writing is really approachable and easy to read.

It might not have the most interesting or stimulating turns-of-phrase, but I do think it lends itself to telling a story that just sucks you in. If prose is a window through which a story is viewed, then my window is floor to ceiling glass - its simple and unobtrusive, it does not stand out so it does not get in the way.

[thaywrites]

heyyyyy, GEBF here! sorry, i got swamped by irl commitments, but im finally hereeee again! how has your break been, bestie? also i just wanted to ask you about your favorite muse(s) so far. is there any character you're currently all about? are they in their main character era in your head?

that's completely understandable with the holidays and all, but nice to hear from you again, GEBF! and oh, it's been both amazing and busy all at once but I'm just glad to be able to rest and spend time with my family. hmmmm so I have like a loooot of muses lol bc I'm always coming up with new ideas and love to build characters and stories and worlds. I adore all of them but there are some that I just feel more musey when writing bc they live in my head 24/7 rent free. so here are some of them:

aurora "rory" cohen ( victoria pedretti fc ): rory's a character that came to me when i got back into the rpc and she has been my baby since. she's a baker and pretty much, all sunshine and honey and freshly baked cookies. she's kind of a celebrity in her hometown, since she's the mayor's daughter from a small town, and kinda loves it bc she loves to get to know new people. she also just tends to talk too much. her family fell apart a couple years back bc daddy cheated and the whole town was all over it and then her first love broke her heart so she's currently in her healing era, living with her pitbull and trying to get her own bakery up n running.

adrien zahir ( avan jogia fc ): adrien is a muse i've had for yeaaars and i never get tired of writing him. he's a guitar player in the kinda famous rock band loudmouth ( and i write all the band members too ) and basically his background is that he was kicked out of his family by an overly religious father who hated the fact his only son was queer. so he found himself a new family instead. he went through many revamps and as of his latest one, he went from a sex crazed, addicted, alcoholic, messy rockstar to a soon-to-be daddy, pretty much married, recovered and decent human being. he's still loud, brazen, flamboyant and that's why we love him sm.

theodore becker ( andrew garfield fc ): theo is my broadway star. well, currently on a break. so he's basically a sweetheart broadway actor who was head over heels in love with the man of his dreams and he thought it was time to take things to the next level. he proposed, got a no for an answer and decided he needed some time away from new york, so he moved back home to help his dads out with their small business. he's pretty much a goof, big musical theater nerd, and just has a lot of love to give. i adore him sm.

alev özberk ( alperen duymaz fc ): poor man's version of clyde from the infamous duo bonnie and clyde. his bonnie is written by a friend of mine and we just have sm fun with those two. alev is my badboy, he's been part of a gang and has done some pretty hefty stuff in his life. he's a burglar, a liar, a drug dealer and all around a shitty person. but he's honestly so much fun to write bc he's always getting up to something and honestly, i miss him sm.

bowie monroe ( sophie thatcher / kiana madeira fc ): my little delinquent redneck enby babygirl. so their background is super messed up, mommy was a groupie that partied too much and didn't care about her motherly duties, so bowie was left at the cares of their older siblings (all half, all from different fathers) and was raised by them. they grew to be pretty pissed off at everything and everyone but they do try to be on a good behavior for the sake of their siblings, which is hard considering the friends bowie usually keeps by her side. she also has a pet lizard she's very fond of.

there's like so many others i could add to this list but i wanted to keep it on the shorter side lol

[bloody-wonder]

heyyy okay so I just saw a post where people basically called the fandom out for ignoring the fact that Andrew is “abusive as fuck” to the other monsters while still bashing seth and aaron for their homophobia and I just uhhh- I would really like to hear your thoughts on this pls? Cus while I can definitely see how andrews relationship with them is not at all normal or healthy in many ways, I don’t really feel like abusive is the right word for it, is that just me?

firstly, while we’re on this topic i’d like to say a couple of words about the aaron discourse that seems to be back in fashion.

in fandoms we have this interesting desire to rank *problematic* behaviors in order of their graveness and then act as if this ranking is objective for all people everywhere. this is where the “you hate aaron bc he’s homophobic? well your fave actually killed a person so“ argument comes from. while there’s logic to the idea that being murdered is worse than being called a slur, for people who experience homophobia irl on a daily basis a fictional murder will never be as upsetting as fictional homophobia. conversely, other fans who don’t fall into this category but might relate to aaron for different reasons (bc he happens to be a well-rounded character) are confused by how he’s branded as the worst while the other foxes (especially the monsters) are right there and feel the need to make the fandom appreciate him more by writing that kind of posts comparing his flaws and shortcomings to those of the other foxes according to the questionable but binding ranking of all sins. and round and round the discourse goes bc the latter party can’t imagine how for many people homophobia can take the highest rank of Problématique despite being “not as bad as murder” or whatever.

if you’re able-bodied and able-minded it’s likely that all the ableism in aftg went over your head. if you’re not queer and haven’t experienced homophobia it might be easier for you to look past it in aaron’s case and be able to appreciate him as a character despite it. if “asexual spectrum” and “amatonormativity” are terms you don’t give much thought to in your day-to-day life, you probably see nicky in a completely different light than i do. all of these things are objectively wrong but if one is worse than the other is completely subjective for each individual. there will always be people who like aaron and those who dislike him and i’m afraid no amount of discourse will drastically change their opinions.

returning to your question, a lot can be said about andrew and all the bad things he does. a lot has been said. if you’re after some good andrew bashing i feel like there are quite a few blogs out there who can provide. even in our corner of the fandom where we worship and idolize andrew joseph minyard we still discuss his flaws from time to time. the only reason we haven’t done that recently is bc according to our latest decree “andrew hasn’t done anything wrong ever and we love him and in fact he deserves more opportunities to stab people”. so the argument that andrew’s problematic behaviors don’t get discussed enough doesn’t seem true to me. but it’s not really about that, is it? it’s about not enough people liking aaron and seth and too many people liking andrew - according to op. whereas his crimes are higher (or at least as high) in the ranking of crimes - according to op. but here’s the thing - like i said all of this is very subjective, some people just like andrew despite everything and will never like aaron no matter how strong your argument in his favor is. they’re not politicians in an election campaign, they’re imaginary people who we get attached to bc they make us feel better about ourselves. but if they were politicians and the election was held on tumblr andrew would win in a landslide just bc the voters are mostly queer and andrew’s gay and aaron’s homophobic. that’s how it works.

and finally as for the word “abusive”, before i used to get mad at how people use it all too often and dilute its meaning but nowadays i’m just wondering if this is just simple etymological evolution: at first “abusive” was used to designate only the gravest kinds of mistreatment, but then people became aware of its rhetorical effect and now this word seems to mean “acts i personally find unacceptable” - which can range from more to less harmful. for the sake of intelligible discussions it would be helpful to use different words for different acts in that range, but you can’t really generate enough engagement with words like “annoying”, “offensive” or “harmful” and many users don’t really pursue intelligible discussion anyway. i personally like the word “problematic” which suits me well bc it requires futher explanation of why you perceive something as a problem and it doesn’t have the indicator of its graveness built in. however, i can also see how bc it’s been overused in the past to the point where it itself became a meme, some people can’t take it seriously anymore. “problematic” sounds like a joke so people have to call things “abusive” to be taken seriously. “abusive” is the new “problematic”. this is something i perceive as well so i often try to distance myself from the word by writing it in funny ways but i still use it bc i know no better umbrella term for things that i consider “not good” but wouldn’t go as far as to call them “abusive”.

that being said, what exactly you designate as *problematic* matters as well. for example, i would call some of andrew’s behaviors problematic bc, you know, they are a problem, but i wouldn’t call his relationship with the monsters problematic. strained, difficult, lacking communication, even “not a friendship” if you wish, but no, not problematic and certainly not abusive.

[skunked-up-kicks]

Sometimes I’ve wondered if the sexualization + hyper feminization of Neil exists because people figure if they write something sexualized about andreil as a duo they could be called gross or fetishizing for sexualizing a gay male CSA victim, so they lean on heteronormative roles to only do that with Neil so they feel less problematic (this is bc of something I found on Twitter that went like ‘objectifying Andrew bad :/ objectifying Neil good ;)’ I just think… you could find a middle ground

whoever that person is on twitter i would like to personally tell them how wrong they are, how does someone go about thinking like that??

(this got long so. i spend most of the time ranting) TLDR: while i think anons suggestion is partly true. the issues surrounding why neils character gets treated this way is a much deeper rooted issue as the evidence suggests and it's a problem that infects all fandom.

anyway, anons idea-

the thing is, even in fics where neil is a csa/sa victim ppl still seem to have little issue making him more feminine and always shove him in the role of the bottom. which is why i think its bs when someone points out how ppl rarely write andreil switching and instead keep the heteronormative top/bottom stereotyped dynamic and then someone defends that by saying ppl are uncomfortable writing an csa/sa victim bottoming. it might be true for some, but when ppl are still insisting neil bottom even when he himself is an csa/sa victim then clearly it goes deeper than discomfort. even when neils history is more extensive or sometimes is even ongoing at time of andreil sleeping together... ppl will go to insane lengths to keep neil as a bottom and i think that says something.

besides, when it comes to ppl being scared of getting called out.. it begs the question: if that's so, then why despite that ppl in this fandom are more frequently called out for making neil hyper feminine and sexualized do the ppl that do this never seem to rlly give a shit for longer than 5 minutes cause this attitude still prevails? these depictions of neil continue? ppl also have no issue sexualizing neils scars... i think it's disgusting really.. people seem to generally feel much more comfortable and unproblematic doing this than they would making andrew bottom or making him more feminine. and it's just... it's insane to me...

even in art where andrew is wearing skirts... they're black and often have chains or belts, andrew still has a apathetic face and still looks intimidating. hes still andrew. neil on the other hand... he's put in pastel coloured skirts and posed to look sexual in nature, and usually given a seductive or bitchy face to match. or he's posed in a cutesy way and is blushing...

if it's fem!art, neil has long hair and more obvious eyelashes. andrew has short hair and more stern looking eyes... if it's not fem!art, andrew has broader shoulders, bigger muscles... a six pack.. where neil has a flat stomach, a small waist, long legs, less broad shoulders and less obvious muscles..

when it comes to this in particular, ppl often say this depiction is due to andrew being a goalkeeper and therefore needing to work on weights more. which is all fine and dandy until you acknowledge that even though kevin and neil are both strikers, kevin is usually drawn much more closer to andrews physique... why? if it's all about the positions, why is this the case? furthermore, ppl usually aruge aaron is buff like andrew cause he's a backliner... NEILS SECONDARY POSITION IS BACKLINER. if people rlly based it all off of exy positions, then neil would be drawn more masculine than kevin. but he's not.

i have no issue with ppl drawing andrew this way, and i love ppl acknowledging that andrew is buff and big but for the love of god.. that doesn't mean neil is fucking fragile and dainty. HES A DUDE. AN ATHLETE. HES GONNA HAVE THE BODY OF ONE. it seems this has honestly turned into just another way to make neil look more feminine...

neils thoughts in the books of "andrew is someone i can lean on and depend on" has somehow turned into "neil likes to be manhandled by big strong hands on small limbs" and i just... i fucking.... i don't even know what to say...

THE MAIN ISSUE. is that there's a culture in fandoms- which are often dominated by women. to put male characters into these dyamics, the top and the bottom, the masculine and the feminine, the dominant and the submissive, the u-🤢 uke and the seme🤢. (i hated myself even as i typed that out). and i doubt this will go away anytime soon, particularly because we do have this idea of letting ppl create/consume and hc what they want- and i do agree!! but i just wish there wasn't such a demand for this type of content.

idk what a middle ground would look like so im not sure if i want that... if that means theres still this type of content but its even for neil and andrew... i don't think i want that. i just wish i could wave a magic wand and eliminate all heteronormativity- which should take the hyper feminization and sexualization along with it. (AND infantilization might i add- someone put this in the tags of my other post and they were so fucking right).

[space-malex]

There's lots of back and forth on who Victor should be with, but all s1 and s2 showed me is that Victor isn't cut out to be anyone's partner at this point in his life. He did Mia dirty and couldn't even properly apologize for it in s2 and the Victor who actually prioritized Benji's happiness and tried to take all responsibility for their kiss with Derek so they can keep dating disappeared in s2. He couldn't even articulate that breaking Benji's trust was wrong with spilling his secret to Rahim, let alone understand him at any point during the season. I don't know if it's supposed to be an international character flaw to be worked on or if the writers think having everything from Victor's POV is a good excuse, but it bothers me a lot. I really thought Malex was the height of showrunner bias and uneven writing, but Venji is so much worse. Alex at least always had a POV and a well-defined personality I could easily empathize with. You can't pile a ton of trauma on a character and never explore it, especially if it's supposed to be half of your main ship. I don't know how reflective a Twitter poll is of the audience split (the one they did on Instagram was much more overwhelmingly in favour of Venji, but they also don't show how many people voted), but it's not surprising that a dynamic that was basically written to be pretty much perfect so far and a fun alternative for the main ship's drama is appealing to so many people. They could have easily sold Venji better this season as a couple. They can lay a better foundation for future romantic them if they spend real time together platonically in s3 and stop putting each other on pedestals. They can also ruin what's appealing about Vahim with drama in s3. It's anyone's guess how s3 is going to play out. All I know is if Venji is still the endgame, I don't want a redo of s1 with Victor trying to work harder at a relationship he ultimately doesn't want to be in than he ever tried to make it work with the guy he's supposedly in love with. That's a recipe for disaster. A lot of shows are guilty of never showing us an endgame ship actually working on screen before putting them back together at the end of the show. I really want better here.

A lot to unpack

Victor did apologize to Mia, said he loves her and never meant to hurt her. It’s a bit complicated because Victor never went into the relationship with bad intentions and it took him the majority of the season to come to terms with his sexuality. Yes, he should’ve ended it right away when he figured it out, and he shouldn’t have kissed Benji when he was still with her. But still, there is a fine line here because there’s only so much of an apology Victor can give without it feeling like he’s apologizing for who he is, for being gay, and that’s not something he needs to feel sorry for. I think we should also keep in mind that Mia had her little thing with Andrew at the same time and never told Victor about it. She didn’t cheat or anything (or when he kissed her she stopped it) but she had obvious feelings for Andrew that she hadn’t dealt with. Luckily they finally got resolved in s2 but they were definitely there when she was still with Victor.

Now, what is it with this Victor slander in my house? He and Benji were pretty much constantly arguing or making up, but I’ve rarely seen people apologize to someone else as many times as Victor did to Benji about things that weren’t even his fault. He spent all season apologizing for his mother, even though he has no control over what she thinks or does, but also assured Benji that she is trying and that she is getting better. And he would know that better than Benji because he knows his mother and Benji does not. Or apologizing for not being ready to come out to everyone. And then turned around and did it anyway, which was what he wanted to do, but it also felt a lot about Benji and something he was doing for him as well. Which, fine, it’s Victor’s decision and he didn’t regret doing it. But then when there were consequences that hurt him by his team being homophobic, Benji first shrugs them off and then encourages Victor to quit the team so that he’s not around homophobic people. Which okay, first of all homophobes exist everywhere but I digress. Victor was miserable after he quit the basketball team. It’s not actually what he wanted to do, and he loves basketball, and Benji had no respect for that either. He acted like basketball with some kind of leftover heteroness that needed to be expelled from Victor. And he talked shit about it with his friends right in front of Victor. In fact, every time Victor tried to express himself, he would be essentially shut down by Benji and end up apologizing. Until episode 6 with the birthday and episode 8 after Isabel caught them together.

So look, I don’t think Benji had to tell Victor anything about his alcoholism because it’s his personal business and it’s really difficult to talk about something like that and it was definitely up to him when he wanted to open up. But then he turned around and was basically pissed at Victor for knowing even though Victor found out by accident. And then he refused to talk about it. And then when Victor expressed his hurt that Benji didn’t want to talk to him, Benji responded by completely attacking Victor and straight up saying it was exhausting work being with him bc he’s got a religious homophobic mom and is newly gay. Like….what?? 

Benji judged Victor for 1) being a jock 2) his mother and 3) being a baby gay. Victor never once judged Benji for his alcohol problems, he was just hurt Benji didn’t share with him. He didn’t judge Benji for anything else for that matter. He definitely shouldn’t have told Rahim about Benji, even though I do understand he needed someone to open up to and he trusts Rahim, it was a violation of Benji’s trust and not okay. But that’s like…the only bad thing Victor has done all season.

As for the pov thing- it wouldn’t be such a big deal if they actually developed Benji as a character, which they have not. We get no moments of him where he’s not with Victor (except the one conversation with Isabel, which was about Victor). If you’re going to have a character not share about their life to the protagonist, you need to find another way to share it with the audience. It leads to a disconnect and lack of emotional investment in Benji for many people. The fact that I feel I know Rahim better after 5 episodes than I do Benji after 20 is saying something. But the writing has given Rahim development that it hasn’t given Benji. It’s not surprising a lot of people in the audience are feeling more connected to Rahim as a result. Polls are never the most reliable thing since it depends on who sees them and how many people (twitters was about 20k respondents iirc but no idea about ig). I see a lot of vahim shipping on twitter and ig, tumblr not so much. But I will say I’ve seen people coming around on vahim who are watching the season now, as opposed to the smaller number who immediately watched the moment it came out, went in shipping Victor and Benji and had a knee jerk reaction about the possibility of another romance for Victor.

This is not comparable to malex in any way so I have no clue why you’re bringing them up.

And personally, I was never invested in Victor and Benji’s relationship. Even in s1 I was like 🤷🏻‍♀️ And now, with or without vahim, I think Victor and Benji should break up. They’re just not a great couple and I feel like the show would do well to make it okay for your first relationship to not necessarily be right for you. Especially for a gay couple because that like…NEVER happens on tv. It doesn’t take anything away from what v*nji mean to each other. Sometimes people just aren’t compatible. I didn’t start shipping vahim bc of anything with v*nji directly, I just loved their dynamic. I love seeing Victor light up. I love seeing him comfortable instead of constantly feeling insecure and apologetic. To me, vahim connect in a way v*nji do not.

Victor did not develop feelings for Rahim just because he was having issues with Benji. Just like Benji did not develop feelings for Victor just because he was having issues with Derek. Implying that does a disservice to both relationships and kinda takes agency away from a character and their feelings. But I want him and Benji to end things for real before anything happens with Rahim. Which might mean trying to make it work for a while longer. 

We will see!!

[isalabells]

can u pls give me all ur thoughts on clarissa franklin? im legit so curious!!

Let me preface this, anon, by saying that this might be the most challenging ask I’ve received to date. That’s why I let it sit there for more than 1.5 weeks while agonizing over it on every run I’ve been on in between. So hats off to you because dang!

Thoughts on characters in the DDF universe are generally a tricky thing because none of them – not even (or: especially not) our three mains – are designed to be anything but two-dimensional. This of course shouldn’t stop anyone from diving deeper into some kind of character analysis, but personally, I’ve always found it a bit off-putting alas I probably have fewer thoughts and headcanons on the folks inhabitating the Rocky Beach universe than one might think. I don’t even find it that compelling to look at from a meta perspective (where, in contrast, I could spend hours talking and writing about TKKG’s narratives. And in fact I have.) So what’s mainly of interest to me here is looking at Minninger aka the one who invented dear Clarissa, and to speculate about his motives for telling the Franklin stories the way he did.

In an attempt to look at it from an in-universe POV first: Amazing character, most likely the best female villain this series will ever see (food for thought: there haven’t been that many to begin with, and most of the ones we got were either written by BJHW or Minninger. MUCH to ponder on), personally, I find her way more fun than Hugenay, giving her two (or three, if the rumors are true) follow-up stories is more than deserved. Furthermore, her legacy is that she appeared in two absolute killer episodes, which many (rightfully) consider to be some of the best the series has to offer (so do I, but plot twist, the best for me is not Stimmen aus dem Nichts but Rufmord). 100/10, can relate to Bob Andrews bc I already grew infatuated with her and she didn’t even need to hypnotize me for that. A great cunning, devious, manipulative, stone-cold bitch ready to kill a man or two at any given point, it’s what we all need and deserve. Shouldn’t even be that big of a surprise that this role slaps so hard bc the majority of things Judy Winter does gain IconicTM status, it is the law. Ever since @charlyritter brought up the idea that Sabine Vitua would be the perfect choice to play her in a live action movie, I cannot stop thinking about this. (And ever since I mistook a picture of young Sabine Vitua with short hair for Bibiana Beglau I am slightly fixated on the idea that she’d be a great fit as well.)

  From a more sober POV: I’ve talked about this before but SadN is actually a very sloppily edited adaptation (e.g. Katharina Brauren most def was recorded separately, there are a lot of inaccuracies-that-easily-could-have-been-avoided-with-some-proper-research-and-a-capable-editor in the script etc.) AND most of it is just Minninger ripping off other stories published via EUROPA (I know none of you are aware of this bc y’all lack the refined taste to engage with TKKG, but the entirety of getting phone calls from the dead? Please listen to #82 Spuk aus dem Jenseits which got published in 1991 aka six years prior to SadN, which Minninger himself edited, and which imo is actually WAY more creepy, esp bc Wolf played a lot with elements from Hofmann’s Sandmann. While we’re at it, I might also drop that Franklin’s iconic line “Reiß Dein Maul nicht so weit auf, sonst schieb ich Dir eine Faust rein, an der Du erstickst“ also first appears, word for word, in TKKG #8 Auf der Spur der Vogeljäger. Well oops.) NEVERTHELESS I argue none of it matters in the long run bc the adaption makes it worth the while. Minninger himself is a trickster in that regard bc what he lacks in writing skills (lbr he doesn’t have any, his stories are mediocre at best) he makes up for in hedonism. As in: he mainly writes about what interests him most in a DDF setting (queer characters, middle-aged and/or old yet powerful ladies, horror vibes, scary, disturbing stuff bordering on the macabre and ludicrous) and designs his characters specifically so that he can cast all the actresses and actors he admires. (Honestly, that was actually a question I sent to him back in 2004 when his Fragebox at the rbc was still running; I wanted to know if he already knew he wanted JW to play CF, and he wholeheartedly confirmed.)

In this case, he got especially lucky bc I am firmly convinced he had no clue at all that Andreas Fröhlich and Judy Winter would play off each other so mesmerizingly. I mean, how could he have known? JW being great and killing it was not a surprise, sure, but Andreas was a far stretch away from being the hot shit he evolved into ever since. And if they hadn’t sold their two extremely unusual scenes so well… both episode and the character would have flopped, I think.

But it didn’t, and then Rufmord came along and the rest is history.

I have severe problems with Signale aus dem Jenseits ESPECIALLY bc of the way the narrative treats good ol’ Clarissa here, and I rather wish this ep had never gotten published in the first place. I don’t want to blow up this reply even further, but allow me to quote a snippet from the episode commentary I left on the rbc a while ago, as it sums up some of my troubles quite nicely:

“[Die] Wortwahl einer „Demontage“ Clarissa Franklins hat mich ins Grübeln gebracht. Vielleicht soll genau DAS die Krux der Sache sein – den Abstieg und Ruin einer Figur nachzuzeichnen, die einst bereit war, eiskalt über Leichen zu gehen und die selbst in Situationen, in denen sie auf den ersten Blick die Machtlose zu sein scheint, doch alle Fäden in der Hand hält und Menschen spielt wie Marionetten. In dem Fall wären die abgeschwächten Anleihen/Rezitationen/Referenzen an die Vorgängerfolgen natürlich geschickt (und bewusst?) gewählt und verstärken den Eindruck, dass Clarissa Franklin tief gefallen ist und mittlerweile nach jedem ihr sich bietenden Strohhalm greift (= Schmierenkomödie als Rache an drei Teenagern). Soll dies eine legitime Lesart des Textes sein, dann ist das Narrativ für mich allerdings falsch aufgebaut, weil es sich in zu vielen Nebenschauplätzen verliert.”

From the pov of my fangirl heart and all critical thinking put aside: Clarissa Franklin probably was the first character I was truly obsessed with!? In a way that I spent my entire Easter holiday break reading and listening to Rufmord 24/7. Thinking about her and her encounter with Just, Peter and Bob for hours each day. Desperately longing for more content with her. While my teenage self as evolved a bit, I’m still fond of her. So as much as I want Minninger to just let her rest, I am also hoping that his forth story featuring her only got postponed and not scratched entirely. The heart wants what the heart wants.

[thecloserkin]

book review: K Webster, Hale (2018)

Genre: Romance

Is it the main pairing: Yes

Is it canon: Yes

Is it explicit: Yes, extremely explicit. In fact if this had been published on literotica i would have accounted it a well-above-average story.

Is it endgame: Yes

Is it shippable: Yes

Bottom line: This is the most vanilla thing I have read in a LONG time and if i hadn’t paid $3.99 for it i doubt I would have bothered to finish it

I picked up this title because shipcestuous added it to her to-read shelf on goodreads, and while it’s clear from the editorial copy (“This book is an epic, emotional, raw love story”) that they think something groundbreaking is going on here, I would like to direct these amateurs to the Sibling Incest tag on Ao3. Or the Incest Shipping Yay page on TVtropes. Or Astrid’s now-defunct blog, if tumblr ever sees fit to restore it. Trust me, you do not have to be doing anything experimental or original for me to enjoy your tropetastic incest story. You don’t even have to be good with words. Stephenie Meyer, for instance, is not what anybody would call a first-rate stylist, and yet I’ve never had any trouble finishing any of her books (none of which feature incest, but the point was about writing generally).

Hudson and Rylie Hale lose their parents in a tragic car accident. Their shared grief is the catalyst for the affair that blooms between them, and I will give them this much: these kids at least know better than to leave any incriminating texts or pictures lying around on their phones. Their vigilance in the digital realm is then completely nullified by the way they conduct themselves irl—they’re walked in on by (1) their aunt aka Rylie’s guardian and (2) Hudson’s roommate at college, all within a week of getting together. I know the risk of being caught is part of the allure of incestuous relationships, but these clowns need to learn to keep it in their pants at least until they can find a closet.

In my opinion this story would have benefitted from an Outsider POV or two. Not every story needs one—Cathy Dollanganger’s first-person POV is more than adequate to carry Flowers in the Attic, and speaking of authors who are shoddy stylists, look at how bad V.C. Andrews was, and how little it mattered—but there’s not enough substance to either Hudson or Rylie’s characters for their alternating POVs to keep the reader invested. In brief, Rylie’s clinically depressed, and Hudson’s attending college on a baseball scholarship. There’s a scene where they watch a movie together and end up fucking on the couch, which would usually be my jam (standard sibling interaction leads to white-hot sex), except I was boooooored. There’s a scene where she visits him at school and they go skinny-dipping in a lake with some of his friends, and they both have to fight off the attentions of prospective romantic partners, and it ends with him carrying her to his truck and fucking her in the back off it. Which again in theory sounds amazing. In practice I think the jealousy trope works better if you’re threatened by your partner’s emotional intimacy with somebody else. And what is Rylie worried about? That this girl has porn star tits, where Rylie is much more modestly endowed. Ok you know who else has small tits? Natalie Portman. Keira Knightley. Emma Watson. Physically unprepossessing women the whole lot of them, amirite? Rylie is overcome by the same unwarranted insecurity when it comes to Hudson’s on-again-off-again ex-girlfriend, who is described as having humongous knockers. I understand how this can make Rylie feel inadequate—women are taught to hate their bodies from day one—but this chick also clearly has nothing going on upstairs, and her emotional connection with Hudson is nowhere in Rylie’s league. So Rylie’s jealousy strikes me as unearned and unrealistic.

Hudson and Rylie spend a good chunk of this book struggling against their feelings, berating themselves for being sick and twisted, all of which would normally be my kryptonite since i am on record gushing about the taboo/forbidden angle of incest and how I’m into sneaking around!! And none of it did damn thing for me in this case. The more reviews I read that contain the word “raw” the more I start to wonder if we all read the same book.

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

As far as canon incest happy ending goes, the “run away together to where nobody knows you guys” strategy has its drawbacks, namely that it means leaving loved ones behind. I have discussed my preference for Option B before, but that option isn’t on the table for Hudson and Rylie because THEY GOT THEMSELVES CAUGHT IN THE ACT and exposed their relationship to multiple people so they can’t plausibly carry on denying it. Especially when Rylie starts popping out kids. Look, I’m into pregnancy kink as much as the next person but it just seems unearned. As is the fact that Hudson found a good-paying steady job even without the college degree their parents worked so hard to push him to get (he was kicked off the baseball team + lost his scholarship due to a combination of grieving for parents & obsessive infatuation for sister). This is America, where good jobs don’t just fall into high school graduates’ laps (unless you have family connections, which the Hale kids don’t, bc they had to move a thousand miles away to live amongst strangers!). And I can’t write these lapses off to the influence of the genre because I know there can be coherent class discourse in a romance novel.

A professor of mine once gave me a copy of Reading the Romance: Women, Patriarchy and Popular Literature (1984) by Janice Radway, and it remains to this day one of the most transformative nonfiction reading experiences of my entire life. Janice Radway conducts interviews with dozens of mostly-married, mostly-middle-aged women in a midsize midwestern American city, and finds that for them reading romance novels is a form of self-care. They spend the rest of their time supporting and nurturing their families & extended social networks, but with a Harlequin romance in hand, husbands are much less likely to bother them. They can carve out time and space for themselves, they can draw from these escapist fantasies the emotional sustenance that their marriages/children are not providing. They can form friendships with like-minded women who also read a lot of romance. It resonated deeply with me even if I’m not a middle-aged white homemaker in middle America in 1984, because ever since, I’ve been very clear-eyed about why I read romance: To meet my own emotional needs that are for some reason not being met by my existing meatspace relationships. That, to me, is the point of the romance genre, and to hell with character and plot. And that’s why I say Hale let me down, because it didn’t succeed in making me feel anything.

There’s a post floating around that contrasts the way we categorize published fiction (by genre, ie. what happens—wizards or starships? corsets or lawyers?) with fanfiction, which is organized based on how it makes us feel: fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, etc. And fic has never let me down in that department, so I guess that’s why romance and fanfic fall under the same mental classification in my head. In this essay I will

[shadows-echoes]

Writer’s Questionnaire

tagged by: @negotiator-on-site and @deviantramblings . Thank you guys for the tag! I spent way too long thinking about these tbh.

Short stories, novels, or poems?

For reading? Novels. I love absolutely delving into a world and completely immersing myself in it. In my experience, poems/short stories are like looking through a window: the more you look, the more you’ll probably see. Reading a novel, or an entire series, is more like walking through a door into another world, and that’s exactly what I want from a story. I want it to completely consume me.

With all of that being said, what’s the exact word count that draws the line between a short story and a novel? 10,000 words might be a short story, but is 25,000 still considered a short story? 100,000? 300,000? Where is the line drawn? Tbh, I’m 100% down with any long-ish story that draws me in.

As for writing… Imma keep it real with you chiefs, the shortest stories I’ve ever written are for D:BH. Pretty much every other fic of mine is 25+ pages, and a couple of the longer ones are closer to, or exceed, 180 pages. I haven’t finished those. They’re all drafts, so to speak, and the amount of editing needed makes me balk whenever I think about it, but they’re there. The stories that I’ve actually finished are all short-ish stories lol (at least in comparison to some of the other stuff I’ve written).

What genre do you prefer reading?

FANTASY!!!! We live in a non-fiction world that can be quite depressing at times. If I’m going to fling myself into a story, I want it to be magical. I want it to have something that this world doesn’t. I want magic and dragons and mystery and soulmates and forbidden love and all the crazy shit.

What genre do you prefer writing?

Fantasy/fiction.

Are you a planner or a write-as-I-go kind of person?

It depends on the story. Most times, I’ll write one scene and it develops into an entire plotline as I write it. Other times, like with Of Blood and Biocomponents for example, I’ll spend a lot of time planning everything out before I write it so I can work in a number of clues and Chekov’s guns’, etc.

What music do you listen to while writing?

When I really need to focus, I’ll listen to anything instrumental. That can range from soundtracks (e.g. from The Last of Us, LotR, Hans Zimmer’s stuff), to more individualized and upbeat songs (e.g. Lindsey Stirling, Peter Gundry, Max Richter, Hidden Citizens) to classical (e.g. Chopin, Wieniawski, Mozart), or even just ambiance rain sounds on youtube etc. Otherwise, when I need to get in the mood for a certain scene I have entire playlists dedicated to evoking a certain emotion (e.g angst -obviously-, sadness, love, adrenaline rushes).

Fave books/movies?

I don’t really have any favorite movies so I’m just going to list a whole bunch of books/series I love: 

ACoTaR by Saraj Maas

Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi

Learning Not to Drown by Anna Shinoda

Feminist Fight Club by Jessica Bennett

ASoIaF by George Rmartin Rmartingeorge Martin

The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare

Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson (a classic that breaks my heart)

Night by Elie Wiesel (a classic that breaks my soul)

1984 by George Orwell (a classic we practically live in rn and it terrifies me)

Some Quiet Place by Kelsey Sutton

The Hunt by Andrew Fukuda (the plot twist at the end of this series blew me the fuck away. It’s been years and I still haven’t found my wig)

Any current WIPs?

Only around like… 16? (Excluding all of the half-formed ideas and prompts in my “Graveyard” folder, that is). Which is incredibly surprising to me? I thought it’d be way more. However, most of those WIPs are all… heartbreakingly long and only half-finished, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

If someone were to make a cartoon out of you, what would your standard outfit be?

Lace-up combat boots, black jeans, and a random, probably blank, t-shirt.

Create a character description for yourself:

Hi, I’m Jayde, an average human person who thinks obsessively writing and learning new stuff are fun activities. I look like Idc but I actually care too much; I’m a ride-or-die bitch. Intovert™ (I would much rather have a first conversation w/ someone be about the trolly problem or systems theory instead of the weather). Often low-key enraged by society.

Do you like incorporating people you actually know into your writing?

Aspects of them? Of course. Actually writing them into a story? Nope. I totally draw on my experiences with certain people to help me write. That’s a given with any writer. However, unless I’m writing a biography on them with a full Chicago-style bibliography then I leave real people the heck alone.

Are you kill-happy with characters?

Depends on the characters. I have killed off a couple, but my soul is fueled on angst and there’s only so much of that a single death can provide. Nah, it’s usually better if people are alive and just… injured or... problematic.

Coffee or tea while writing?

I’m usually most productive writing-wise at night, so it’s either decaffeinated green tea or hot chocolate for me (bc I do try to have some kind of sleep schedule even if I fail with that goal).

Slow or fast writer?

So, so slow.

Where/who/what do you find inspiration from?

Anything, really. Sometimes an idea will just pop into my head and I’ll have to write it. Other times, it’ll start with a feeling, a situation, or an experience that slowly morphs into a fic the more I think about it.

If you were put into a fantasy world, what would you be?

Idk what I would be, but I’d love to be literally anything/anyone with some kind of magic or special ability. Like, bruh, I’m already human, gimme something else. Gimme some of the good shit.

Most fave book cliche? Least fave book cliche?

(Well-written) LOVE TRIANGLES AND MUTUAL PINING!!!!

I’m so fuckn horny on main for a good love triangle. When they’re done badly, they’re atrocious. That’s a given. But when they’re done well??? Hot damn. Like the kind of love triangles in ACoTaR, the Shatter Me series, or even the Trylle series (which first got me into it all). The kind where problems develop naturally between the MC and the first love interest, where the MC has to work with the “bad guy” for some reason or other and it turns out he’s actually super fuckn dope (*cough* Rhysand *Cough*). The kind where the more MC learns about the people she’s/he’s/they’re around, the more their feelings start to shift based on that knowledge.

I do not mean the kind where the MC just can’t make up her/his/their mind bc omg Hot Person #1 is so hot and looks to be carved from marble, but omg Hot Person #2 is also so hot, looks to be carved from marble, and is also mysterious.

As for a cliché I hate (if the poorly written love triangle doesn’t count in and of itself), I seriously dislike the damsel-in-distress thing. Don’t get me wrong, that card can be very well played in some cases, but when it’s the only card in the whole damn deck for 200, 300, 400+ pages? Nah, brah. I’m out. I’m certainly not asking for BAMF MC every time, but like,,, at least give the MC a goddamn spine you absolute cowards.

Fave scenes to write?

Pining and angst, baby.

Most productive time of day for writing?

The ungodly hours between night and day, when the outside world falls quietly into slumber and one’s imagination runs wild in the dark.

Reason for writing?

I started writing because I had some ideas and realized that nobody could/would write them in the exact way I imagined them except for me? I’ve continued writing because it has almost become a coping mechanism to explore and organize my thoughts and feelings and daydreams in some kind of coherent way. Plus it’s fun.

_

Tagging: @deviantsupporter @deviancy-wasteland @sunstrain @writerscavity @aerynwrites

[nyancheetosmusical]

Things about Big Fish that make it so amazing

Full disclosure (what a miserable game BA DUM BA DUMP), some of these are based on our production of the show so it might not be universal. Some of these also have to do with the musical composition bc Andrew Lippa is like Orpheus incarnate sans all the sad stuff i think

-The show opens on the banks of the river and ends on the banks of the same river with a father and son

- EDWARD “Here’s to what’s next.” (EDWARD exits)

WILL “...What’s next.”

GUYS ITS LITERALLY IN THE OPENING SCENE OF THE SHOW AND IT OCCURS THROUGHOUT THE REST OF THE SHOW IN THE DIALOGUE UNTIL YOU FINALLY GET TO “WHAT’S NEXT” AT THE END

-Alabama Stomp is actually fun AF

-Young Will, responding to Be The Hero and the Alabama Stomp

YOUNG WILL “Dad, what the hell was that?”

-The argument after the wedding eventually escalates to:

EDWARD “Grow up, Will.”

WILL “I did! You weren’t there! You were never there! All I got from you was a bunch of crazy stories about how awesome you were dad, and, I’m sorry, that’s not the man I see!”

EDWARD “Well maybe you never bothered looking.”

and honestly at this point you don’t know who to be mad at- Edward for ruining his son’s wedding, or for Will treating a character the audience already loves with such harshness

- WITCH: “Soooooo-OOOOOOOO-” ear candy right there I love it

-The fact that Will learns he’s going to have a son at the exact same time Edward learns his cancer is terminal

- In Stranger:

“But after almost thirty years...” (music builds in a freakin awesome way)

“I still don’t know the man...” (music somehow keeps building)

“I wish I knew the maaaaaaaan-” (UGH WILL YOU’RE KILLIN ME HERE)

- Stranger establishes the pattern of Will being too late. He’s always too late. he sings about finally excited to repair his relationship with his dad through his son, when he learns that his dad won’t live long enough to see his son be born. Time is never Will’s friend in this story

-Okay it’s not on the OCR but the song before Out There on the Road is called Ashton’s Favorite Son, it’s maybe 45 seconds and it’s the entire town singing about how awesome Edward is and it’s honestly ridiculous and hilarious, he’s a great baseball player, football player, science intellect, student body president, and then Jenny gets a little number and it’s honestly so adorable and cheesy (also it’s where we’re introduced to Jenny’s theme)

-TIME STOPS. JUST ALL OF IT. PAY ATTENTION AND GET USED TO THE MAIN TUNE OF IT BECAUSE IT PLAYS ALL THROUGHOUT THE STORY DURING SANDRA’S AND EDWARDS INTERACTIONS AND IT HURTS MY HEART

- Also sad because one of the big themes of the show is the fact that time will always pass and there’s nothing you can do to stop it...but sometimes if you find the right person, they can help you stop time for at least a little (which you hear in the music, near the end, it builds and builds and then everything pauses for a split second)

- Edward trying to convince Mr. Calloway to tell him who Sandra is:

EDWARD “I’m gonna find that girl, and I’m gonna marry her, and spend the rest of my life with her!”

Because he knows how he goes...he’s gotta find her, then marry her, than live with her until he dies, which is far before when she goes

- EDWARD: “He told me you loved...daffodils...” I literally get chills every single time

- Daffodils begin to fall from the sky on “Let’s build a world of daffodils/that never fades and never dies/I see the answer in your eyes...” and continues to the end of the song

(blurred my castmates faces out of respect of privacy but dang look at how freaking cool it is)

-Edward tells the story that is Red White and True to Will’s Boy Scout troupe on a campout. He starts to tell the story, the tappers take the stage, then the lead performer of the USO show....

OVER-EXCITED SCOUT “Is that your mom?!”

YOUNG WILL “In my dad’s stories, the prettiest woman is ALWAYS my mom.”

-After Red, White, and True, Edward sends the scouts off to bed, but Will stays behind to talk

YOUNG WILL “When did all this happen?”

EDWARD “Well during the war!”

YOUNG WILL “But which war?”

EDWARD “I...you know, the war! Don’t they teach you anything in school these days?”

YOUNG WILL “That’s just it dad, they do teach us.” (YOUNG WILL storms off)

-In our version of Fight the Dragons, Young Will actually sings:

EDWARD “You’ll come to me and say...”

YOUNG WILL “...let’s fight the dragons/ and storm the castle/ ‘till we win what needs to be won...”

EDWARD “So when I’m old and tired/ you’ll do the job required./ You’ll be there/ telling stories to your son!”

EDWARD and YOUNG WILL “And we fight the dragons/ and we storm the castles”

EDWARD “And I do the best that I can!/ But everybody knows that’s how the story goes/ to turn each boy into a bigger man.../So I fight the dragons..../ ‘till...”

YOUNG WILL “I can...”             EDWARD “You can...”

-STRANGER REPRISE STRANGER REPRISE STRANGER REPRISE

-I can’t put it all but the pre-showdown dialogue is PHENOMENAL, Will is trying to talk to his dad about what actually happened in his life

WILL “Do you know anything about icebergs, dad?”

EDWARD “Icebergs...they were hauling one down to Texas for drinking water! Only they didn’t account for an elephant being inside...”

WILL “Dad...”

EDWARD “The wooly mammoth kind.”

WILL “DAD!”

EDWARD “What?”

WILL “I was trying to make a point.”

EDWARD “Well then, you shouldn’t have started with a question. People like answering questions [which this near exact conversation happens in reverse between young will and edward at the start of the show, showing you how similar they are]. If you wanted to make a point, you should’ve said, ‘the thing about icebergs is’-”

WILL “The thing about icebergs is, dad, you can only see this little part that’s sticking out above the surface. The rest of it is hidden below the water [motif of water again] where you can’t see it...and that’s how it is with you, Dad!”

-Will’s slide during Showdown (”toniiiii-iiiiiiiight”) is beautiful

-Just how happy and cheerful Showdown is...considering the main point is “there’s gonna be a hanging tonight” and trying to convict Edward

- I Don’t Need A Roof....but I do need a tissue...cause that song made me cry every night waiting backstage for my cue...it’s so powerful. It starts out as a lullaby but then the music swells and you can’t help but breathe in with it

-Edward writhing in pain during certain swells just sells it, and our Sandra has one of the most amazing voices I have ever heard, the way she sings it is better than the OCR

- SANDRA “Hear what the rain says, [the flute sound indicating the rain is so perfect]/ know what it knows,/ after the rain something groooows/ I don’t need a roof to say I love you” that swell right there KILLS ME

-But what kills me even more in I Don’t Need A Roof is right after “I don’t need a roof to say I love you,/ I don’t need a roof to call you mine” BECAUSE THE TIME STOPS THEME PLAYS RIGHT THERE QUIETLY UNDER THE MUSIC AND OUCH MY HEART

- SANDRA “Stay with me.../stay with me....” and then she added in there, right at the conclusion of the music, a whispered “I love you”, her voice cracking because she’s crying

-Can you tell I have a lot of feelings about I Don’t Need A Roof

- Start Over doesn’t actually musically resolve like it does in the OCR. Will actually cuts it off before the music can conclude...

ASHTON TOWNSFOLK “Tomorrow begins-”

WILL “Wait! If that’s what you’re saying, then that’s the biggest thing my father has ever done”

And actually, most of the songs with Edward’s stories lack a conclusion. Showdown is another obvious example, but Closer to Her is another one I know off the top of my head, mostly because his story just isn’t finished yet. It’s only with How It Ends we get a genuine conclusion, because, well, that’s how it ends.

-WILLS LITTLE MONOLOGUE HE GIVES TO HIS DAD ALONE IN THE HOSPITAL ROOM RIGHT BEFORE WHATS NEXT HURTS ME SO MUCH

- Edward suddenly comes to a little and-

EDWARD “Will...tell me how it happens....”

WILL “How what happens?”

EDWARD “Tell me...how I go...”

WILL “Y-you mean what the witch showed you? D-dad, you never told me that part of the story-”

EDWARD “Will...”

WILL “Dad, I can’t do this! (EDWARD looks desperate. He can’t do this on his own.) O-okay, b-but you have to help me...how does it start?”

EDWARD “Like...this...” (gently gestures to the conductor of the pit. The music of What’s Next begins)

-Will’s story telling getting better and better as he makes the ending for his father

- Edward’s “I-I don’t know! Will, I don’t know!”

-Will remembers all of the characters in his dad’s stories, even the one he’s most cynical about...

WILL “Yes!/ Even the witch is there!”

-THE ENSEMBLE PART OF WHATS NEXT ADFASDADS

-What’s Next fades quietly out into silence...in the silence you can hear the heart monitor of the hospital beeping very quietly

- EDWARD “I know I wasn’t perfect/ I know my life was small/ I know that I pretended that I knew it all...” If i wasn’t already crying by this point I am

-How It Ends musically begins to fade away. We return to the hospital bed, with Will holding his father’s hand. He’s done it. He’s finished his story for him

WILL “And that’s how it happens...that’s how you go...” (heart monitor flatlines with the fade out of the music)

-Dropping daffodils in the pit during the funeral :(

-Right before Be The Hero Reprise:

WILL’S SON “Grandma grandma!”

SANDRA “What is it sweetheart?”

WILL’S SON “We just saw the biggest fish! It was at least as big as a car!”

WILL “Now Eddy, let’s stick to the facts...it was as least as big as a truck!”

HE NAMES HIS SON AFTER HIS FATHER DAAFADFAAFS

SORRY I LOVE THIS MUSICAL WITH ALL MY HEART AND I HOPE OTHER PEOPLE CAN COME TO APPRECIATE THE FREAKING MASTERPIECE THAT IT IS

[ahprodithe]

who are the main characters of your story ? what is it called ?

hi there ! the story is called “ we are the golden age “  .   the main characters are four different people and every chapter switches in point of view : ) let me give you a quick overview of every character and how they connect w/ the others.matthew james becker :

he’s the kid everything starts with ! his parents died when he was younger so he went from foster home to foster home until he landed in this small town just before he turned eighteen. he had always really been into lacrosse so he joined the team of the local high school where he met his best friend isaac ! they were complete opposities though bc matt is like this cis white boy who is very rude and tense : //  while isaac is this HUGE black kid who’s incredibly lively and friendly and doesn’t care much abt lacrosse tbh . okay , we’re getting off track here !!   when matt turns eighteen and graduates he gets a job as the assistant coach on the lacrosse team and he moves in temporarily w/ isaac and his fam . he’s also bisexual ??

maya evermore :

oh man , my daughter maya is everything ! she’s so sweet and kind and loves flowers and painting and everything happy !! she’s the lil sis of isaac but she’s usually taking care of her little siblings so she doesn’t spend much time w/ isaac and matthew . she’s also pretty shy ?? she has these dark freckles on her nose and wild brownish - black hair and caramel skin . she’s in her junior year of high school and doesn’t have many friends even though everyone knows her bc of her brother who actually used to be pretty popular ? my girl is a cute pansexual who doesn’t know it : //

ace naviaux :

he’s like andrew minyard but more chill without the knives : ‘ ) that’s what his twin sis is for but we’ll get to her in a sec l mao . his father pressures him a lot when it comes to sports so that’s the reason he applies to the lacrosse team when they move to the same place our beloved other charas live !! b ut he’s very careless and arrogant and distant ?? when he meets matthew he makes fun of his passion for lacrosse and basically just annoys matt endlessly l ol . his fam is arabic but they’re not really faithful ? they’ve become very western tbh .   he’s also very gay … but like demi gay …. l mao  : ‘ ) his story is basically intertwined w/ matthew a lot bc those two are so gay for each other but they won’t ever admit it … 

june naviaux : 

i’d rather be locked up in a room w/ ace and matthew for 24 hours then spend 5 minutes w/ june bc she scares me …  she basically the chick with a sigarette between her lips and her hair in rebel braids and a pink letter jacket and a mini skirt to match the bubblegum colored lipgloss permantely smeared onto her lips ?? doesn’t sound scary but damn : // even though she’s new at school she’s already one of the most popular girls ?? she eats boys for a living but she also has sex w/ them a lot , but also w/ girls so ?? she’s a damn feminist to the bone and she’ll scratch up ur car if u so much as look at her the wrong way …  once she meets maya she kinda tries to corrupt her bc she’s sweet and innocent but the girl falls in love : // tragic ( oh she’s also ace’s twin and she has braces !! )

okay !! this is it !! these are the main charas and i love them i should write y ikes : //