#Like that was a straight up sex scene in every sense of the word lmao

[some-pers0n]

Watching Little Shop of Horrors for the first time. Why is this movie like 500% more homoerotic than I could've ever anticipated

[glystenangel]

Better in Love

Bodyguard!Toji x Brat&Afab!Reader (Historical AU)

Series Summary: you're the daughter of a feudal lord, and Toji becomes your bodyguard. then, you fall in love

Chapters: 4/5

Chapter Summary: you catch up to toji

Status: Completed

Tags/Warnings: 18+ MDNI, airport chase scene but a ferry instead, straight up sex lmao, like oral sex (f and m receiving), multiple orgasms, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, dom/sub, praise/slight degrading kink, one mention of cervix f*cking, dacryphilia, dirty talk, pet names, begging, toji likes talking to the kitty okay, he also gets pussydrunk!, dumbification

~4k

thanks for reading and enjoy<3

Ch. 4 - Together

The local villagers were just starting their day, the sun kissing the tiled rooftops and anything below still tinted blue with fog, as if the night was clinging onto the day’s heels.

You had scoured the crowd for a familiar, bulky form as you ran among the townspeople. For miles, you had no luck, but continued running until you were outracing the misty outline of the ferry coasting along the shore and heading towards the docks.

At first, you thought your eyes had betrayed you, but you finally made out the sight of Toji with a bag of his personal belongings slung across his back and patiently standing among other hopeful ferry passengers.

He sensed your stare before you could even call out his name, readily catching you once you pushed past the others waiting for the ferry. You wrapped your hands around his neck, immensely grateful that you had caught him in time.

“What the fuck- What are you doing here?” Toji loudly exclaimed, setting you down and grasping one of your heaving shoulders with his hand.

You failed to respond, far too winded and emotional to do anything but gulp in deep inhales of air.

“For God’s sake.” He griped, staring up at the sky as if he was at a total loss of what to do with you.

Toji pulled you aside, sheltering you from curious onlookers and moving his hand to pinch your chin between his thumb and pointer finger, “Are you hurt? What’s wrong?”

You shook your head, but tears pooled your vision. He swore as you began to tremble, and the affection you held for him flooded your chest as he fussed over you despite being prepared to leave you from the very port you were both standing on.

“Please stay.” The short, helpless plea was all you could muster.

“Doll, I can’t.” Toji curled a strand of hair behind your ear with a defeated sigh.

“Yes, you can.” You wrapped your arms around his torso, knowing you were being ridiculous as you stared up at him with resolve. 

He hesitated for a moment, and you found yourself snapping.

“If you’re going to leave, don’t be a fucking coward and leave without telling me. Maybe I’m not your favorite right now because of all the shit I pulled recently, but I at least deserve a goodbye! I guess I shouldn’t even be surprised. You always have to have the last word, don’t you? You piece of shit!”

Your fiery outbursts made his scowl deepen with every syllable, and he groaned with irritation before locking eyes with you.

“You are such a fucking brat. You know what your problem is? You don’t give a damn about what anybody else has to say, even if it’s what’s good for you. You’re rash, and you’re selfish. Why do I even love you?”

You froze, “What?”

Toji clenched his jaw, sliding your arms off of his body and trying to step away from you.

“Go home, please. I won’t be able to leave if you keep popping up. I mean it, you’re getting married.”

“I don’t care! I’m not going home…and I love you too.” The stubborn admission lingered in the air for a moment, and Toji walked to the edge of the dock before retracing his steps back to you. You steadily held your stance, watching the internal battle in his eyes. 

“Fuck. Fuck!”

The next thing you knew, his hand was wrapped around your throat and his lips were passionately crushed against yours.

Your entire body rushed with adrenaline, and you all but melted when he tenderly slid his hand to the back of your head. Time seemed to slow, and your hands moved to cradle his face. The coarse feel of his scarred lips against your plush ones was extraordinarily addicting, and you were certain your heart would give out when Toji pulled back and licked his lips, as if he wanted to savor how good your kiss had tasted. He sank his forehead into your shoulder with a desolate sigh, his lips brushing loosely against your neck and sending shivers through your spine. You encased him in your arms, feeling the vague sensation of the corner of his mouth tugging upwards against your skin.

“Fine. You win.”

_________________

The ferry departed without Toji, and stunned bystanders stared after you two. Not because of the ruckus you had caused, but due to Toji’s insistence on carrying you the rest of the way home. He hoisted you to his side, his muscular arm securing you in place and your head resting at the nape of his neck.

“I can walk.” Warmth surged into your cheeks and up the tips of your ears.

“You ought to be grateful, princess. Your little stunt worked, and now I’m carrying you. Unless you want me to catch the next ferry?” He inquired, turning to look at you.

You immediately shut your mouth and shook your head, hugging his neck and burying your face into it.

The rich sound of his laugh resounded against your ear, “Thought so.”

He adjusted his grip on you, and the feeling of his palm against your thigh made you bite your lip. Every shuffle of your body against his as he walked enticed you, and you couldn’t complain about being able to freely admire the attractive features of the fearsome swordsman.

“You’re staring.” Toji said, keeping his eyes focused on the path.

“I’m just so happy.” It was the truth, you couldn’t focus on anything or anyone else. The inability to stop touching him was majorly present as well. You fondly combed your fingers through his hair, pecking joyful kisses along his jaw and by his ear. 

“Calm down.” He warned unconvincingly, his fingers making indents into your soft form.

“I can’t. You’re so handsome.” The sincere compliment was paired with a dreamy sigh and more enthused kisses.

“God, woman.”

In spite of his annoyed tone, a smile broke across his features before he swiftly pushed the side of his head against yours in an attempt to distract you.

It didn’t work, and you happily nuzzled back into his collarbone.

“Do you not like my kisses?”

“What kind of question is that?” 

You grinned at his gruff reply, tracing a line down the center of his throat with a finger.

“I wonder what your favorite place to be kissed is.”

He stopped in his tracks, “You’re going to get yourself in trouble.”

“Maybe I’d like to be in trouble with you.” You whispered, pressing your lips to his neck as proof.

He swallowed thickly, and you could hear the raspy want in his voice as he gripped you more solidly.

“Let’s find a hotel, yeah?”

_________________

As soon as you had gotten into the hotel room, Toji and you reiterated your feelings for each other in frantic kisses and touches until you fell onto the bed. The futon was plush with a thick comforter, and Toji’s back nestled into the blanket while you sat on top of him to deliver hurried kisses along his neck. You slid his dressings and upper garments off, admiring the strength and tone of his bare chest.

“You never told me what happened to your arm.” You gingerly traced over the remains of his shoulder, and he let out a snide chuckle.

“It was just some guy I got in a fight with.” He cupped your cheek, bringing you down to press your forehead against his, “I’ll tell you all about it, after I give you all the trouble you’ve been wanting.”

Toji crushed your lips together, and you could hardly breathe from the intensity. You had messed around with some suitors and servants before, but this was undoubtedly different, heartfelt yet passionate. He chased your every inhale with his tongue, clutching his hand around the back of your neck as you grinded against his lap. You went back and forth over the tented fabric between his legs, agonizing over how hard he was already. Fluid seeped onto the front of his pants, staining them with an imprint of your mutual neediness.

“Hey, come here.” Toji panted, moving his hand down and tugging at your hip.

“What?” You drew back, and he repeated the request.

“Just come here, sit on my face.”

Your face heated at his lewd suggestion, but you crawled closer. Toji’s hand squeezed at your ass until you were hovering over his lips, and you lifted up your dress for him to take in the sight of your throbbing folds sheened with precum. He licked his lips before kissing your inner thighs, and you shivered in anticipation.

“You’re so wet. Ready for me to taste, aren’t you?” He looked up at you, eyes clouding with want and making another wave of slickness seep out of your untouched pussy.

“Sit. All the way.” Toji grunted, and he securely wrapped his hand around your thigh.

You fully sat, letting out a whimper when you felt the searing protrusion of Toji’s eager tongue. Your whole body tingled as he began licking at your core with growing enthusiasm, and moans started spilling out of your mouth from the rough surface of his tongue attentively exploring your sopping walls. He tipped his head to the side, lightly biting your clit between his teeth, as if he truly wanted to eat you before thinking better of it and cushioning the callous graze with a sloppy press of his tongue. The severe contrast had you flinching against his mouth.

“Ah, Toji! Mmh!”

A languid stroke of his tongue made you buck into his face, and he let out muffled sounds of satisfaction as he pressed you down further. Fuzzy sensations seeped across your mind, and your hips stuttered as you tried to mash yourself faster on his tongue. 

“S-so fucking good. I’m shaking.” You squeezed your thighs together, savoring the way his tongue had to thrash itself more forcefully into your dripping pussy from the clenching of your tremulous thighs.

His every motion was practiced and thorough, and he paid close attention to how you whined at him wetly lapping at your clit. You reached back and ran a couple fingers over his throat, bouncing harder on his face whenever you felt him swallow another mouthful of you. Your orgasm was growing as he swirled his expert tongue between your legs, and you threw your head back at the sheer bliss igniting your system as he ate you into oblivion. 

You messily rode his tongue with nothing but your wanton pleasure in mind, pulling on his hair with reckless need. He fervently sucked and licked at your delicate seams, molding his lips around your sensitive nub until your orgasm compelled you to aggressively wind your hips down into his face.

Once he seemed sated by your cum on his tongue, you lifted your hips from his mouth and he looked up at you with hazy curiosity.

You crouched down and started kissing a line down from his collarbone to his hip bone, taking care to be extra gentle on the thick, purplish scarring at his side. He had a happy trail with coarse hair, and the sight of it leading lower into his pants gave you the urge to lick at the skin of his stomach. You wet the thick hairs and defined abs with your tongue, bringing curses to Toji’s lips as you drew figure eights on his lower abdomen. Lifting your chin, you could feel his hardon poking against his pants and towards your throat.

As your hands started hastily untying the fabric around his waist, he raised his head to watch you push aside the fabric and gasp at his giant cock springing forward. The entire length was stiff and the head was swollen, feverishly pulsing with the dewy shine of precum and aching for your attention.

An unsure puff of breath left your hips, fanning the head of his cock and making him shiver as you met his eyes, “Can I touch it please?”

“Go ahead, princess. It’s all yours.”

At his encouraging words, you carefully fisted a hand around his cock. Your fingers couldn’t even touch your thumb due to his heavy thickness. Not knowing how sensitive he was, you squeezed it with minimal pressure, but noticed the tip excitedly oozed a fat, new droplet of precum anyway. 

His head dropped back as you worked your hand over his dick and the squishy swell of his balls, watching the skin stretch and the veiny sides quiver from your careful fondling. He was so big that you had to use both hands, bringing the flat of your palm to smear the precum around his flushed tip. Toji seemed to be doing his best to be patient, but when you gave the head of his cock a tentative kitten lick, he let out a groan and grabbed a handful of your hair.

You paid no mind to the pressure of his hand, kissing along his entire length before slowly running your tongue up from the base and sucking hard at the precum seeping from the tip. You let your lips pop as you unwrapped them from the swollen area, staring up at the lustful expression on Toji’s face as a string of drool connected your bottom lip to his boner. Then, you followed the thread until the top of your tongue met the underside of his cock again, sliding as much as possible into your mouth and hollowing your cheeks. 

“Fuck, I love that look in your eye.” He yanked at your hair, the motion pleasurably stinging as you bobbed your head on his cock more devotedly. 

The back of your throat was beginning to receive bruising force, and you gagged on every ridge bumping against the sides of your throat. The extra spit only served to lubricate the motions of his cock, and you could feel Toji bulging against your neck as tears streamed down your face.

“Your throat’s so tight, can’t wait to see how it compares to between your thighs.” He crouched over and dragged his hand down to your neck, rubbing a thumb over where your neck swelled with his unwieldy cockhead.

Muffled moans left you as you picked up the pace, reinvigorated by the thought of Toji’s dick stretching out your cunt until he filled you to the brim with his seed.

“Holy shit, did that motivate you? Want your sweet little pussy fucked by me already?” He gave you an adoring look, lifting his hips and a wild look of satisfaction spreading across his face.

You hummed a curt response, circling your tongue around the tip of his cock and continuing to obediently guide it down your throat. At this point, frothy spit was leaking from the sides of your mouth and your eyelashes were thoroughly dampened.

“So good.” He drawled out, the rhythm of your efforts making his eyes glaze over and strained noises leaving him. His hips met every greedy gulp of your throat, and he fucked your face more urgently with every passing second.

A louder, far less restrained groan escaped his lips and a sinful sense of triumph filled you as his cum hotly coated the sides of your throat. You dutifully swallowed every drop, and Toji was breathing hard by the time he collected himself enough to lift you to his lips and give you a grateful kiss.

Your sore lips were pliant to the earnest swipes of his tongue, and your lashes fluttered when he mercifully broke away after placing a final, brief peck on your mouth.

“Hm, looks like we both taste good, don’t we?”

At that, you pulled him into another kiss, soreness be damned.

He sat up and easily hauled you into his lap with one hand, and you molded yourself around his well built stature, wrapping your legs around his lean torso and intertwining your arms around his neck. As you whimpered into his mouth, he knelt down with care before hungrily pressing you into the futon.

The feathery blankets surrounded you, and Toji pried off the fabric restricting your bare skin from his view. 

To your surprise, he paused to trace his fingertips along the smooth skin of your body, green eyes mesmerized by every dip and tempting curve willingly exposed for his loving attention.

“Gorgeous.” He reverently mumbled, and your heart squeezed at the genuity in his compliment.

Still, you couldn’t help but tease him.

“I’m sorry, what was that? Louder, please.”

Toji glanced at you with a knowing smirk as he slotted himself between your legs and draped your thighs on either side of his hips, “I said I’m gonna fuck you senseless.”

“Liar.” You claimed, though you felt your pussy throb more ardently at his words. His hardness had returned, the milky sheen of your spit and his cum lightly glistening on its surface. 

“We’ll see about that.” He pulled your waist closer, and you involuntarily bucked your hips when he started slapping his rigid girth against your slick heat.

You emitted a wanton cry, and he darkly stared down at your vulnerable expression.

“I think I’ve been a little too nice to you.”

Without further warning, he began to slide his impressive length into your pussy, and the sting from just the inflamed head was so sharp you let out a cry accompanied by fresh tears filling your eyes. He moved closer still, letting your walls suck at half of his girth until you could fully take him and your tears spilled onto your cheeks, hot and salty.

“Do me a favor and cry some more, will you?” Merciless pounds slammed into you with increasing brutality as he grasped your hip and rose higher on his knees, “You look prettier when you cry.”

Your legs instinctively locked behind his knees, and he swore watching you fist at the sheets above your head. Every time the angry head of his cock nearly slipped out of your entrance, you fiercely pushed your hips closer to catch it again. Your pussy was so exasperatedly drenched that wet slaps obscenely resonated from your colliding bodies. Freckles of each other’s excitement splattered messily against your thighs, white dots decorating your stomach and Toji’s tan abs.

“This loud enough for you now?” He mocked, fastening his pace and making you twitch uncontrollably due to the incredible stimulation.

“H-hah, nng T-Toji. Please!” You squeaked, fixing your vision on his massive cock charging into your eager cunt. Your walls readily enclosed every stiff stroke, licking at his hardness just as you had been earlier with your tongue. The rocking of your hips into his made chills race up your spine, and you could feel any remaining sense you had surely replaced with the intoxicating sensation of becoming cockdumb for Toji.

“So obedient now that you’re stuffed with my cock, huh?” He slowed down, plugging your walls so tightly that your tongue lolled out with sick joy.

“Mhm, I’ll do anything. Please, Toji, fuck me some more? Please?” You reached for him, but he ignored your pleas, pinning your wrists above your head to watch you fail to sink more of his heavy cock inside of you.

He guided his cock out until your pussy was clenching uselessly around air, and he allowed the tip to teasingly prod at your hungry entrance.

“You gotta say thank you first princess. I’m already working so hard, don’t you think?”

The gratitude spilled out of your mouth without another thought, “Thank you Toji, thank you so so much. Thank you for spoiling my needy little cunt, want your big cock fucking me so bad.”

His eyes filled with lusty mirth at your thankfulness, and he rammed back into your dripping hole.

“Good girl. Keep it up, yeah?”

Every slap drew polite and breathy thank yous from your lips.

“Thank you, thank you. Mm, thank you. Oh-Ah! T-thank you, Toji.”

“The sweetest darling, just for me.” Toji wolfishly grinned, and you trembled with pleasure as he continued harshly rutting into you. You could feel your wetness sloshing around his cock, and your hips almost wanted to retreat from the overwhelming advances of his hips. He didn’t allow you to run though, unrelentingly demolishing your tender pussy while holding your watery eyes captive in the devilish green of his own.

A scream left you as spasms erupted from your center, forcing your eyes to roll back and jolts of bliss to wrack your body. Warm dribbles of cum coated Toji’s rigid cock, and he let go of your wrists to watch you quiver and moan under him.

Once you could breathe and properly see again, he pulled out and straightened to nudge his hand beneath one of your thighs.

“I think we can do better than that.”

Before you could question it, he effortlessly folded you so that your knees were pressed to the sides of your head and your legs were spread wide to expose your leaking pussy. He helped you wrap shaky hands around your ankles, and then looked at you approvingly.

“Say please when you’re ready.”

Toji kneeled above you, hand resting against the bottom of your thigh, and his cock hovering inches away from your painfully empty core. The grooves of muscle reaching up from his hips and abs outlined his cutting figure with precision, and the sight from below was enough to drive you wild.

You couldn’t wait for even a second, “Please.”

The reentry of his girthy cock was more careful than the first, but he began hammering into you even more viciously than before. The new position allowed him to go much, much deeper, and irresistible orgasms ripped through your body until you were incoherent and deliriously accepting every mind numbing thrust against your cervix. The back of your scalp buzzed with sinful delight, and the motion of his hips jut into you more and more sporadically.

“Fuck, you are addicting. Gotta keep fucking you.” Unruly, whiny pants left him as he madly drove his cock into you.

You shuddered at his words, your heels digging into his back as he brokenly continued.

“Can’t believe I was gonna give this up. Too fuckin’ good. Don’t wanna stop. Shit - God, I love this pussy.”

“Toji.” You couldn’t take hearing his filthy thoughts, your pussy contracting further at his claims.

“Oh, looks like she loves me too, huh? Yeah? You love me, don’t you?” The tone he used towards your pussy was condescendingly direct, as if he were talking to a dog, and his eyes were mesmerized by the sight of his monstrous cock bullying your insides until your cum foamed around the pulsating veins.

You couldn’t take it, shrieking as you came for another countless time. As your vision clouded with ecstasy, Toji followed closely, releasing a satisfied groan as he came into your overstimulated pussy. Sweat sheened his forehead as he caught his breath, and you squeezed around his spent cock until you were sure every hot drop of his cum had painted your insides white. An exhausted wince passed your lips as he pulled out and manhandled you into a sitting position.

He kissed you, sweet nothings faintly recognizable on the skin of your cheeks and neck as he peppered you with loving touches.

“The fucking best. I love you so much.” His hand came to wrap around your waist, and you leaned into his chest with appreciation.

“I love you too.”

You reciprocated his affections, though weakly, and he noticed your gaze drift down to the damp spot of cum your pussy was staining the sheets with.

“Here, I’ll clean you up.” He began to offer, but you shook your head.

You dazedly pushed down on your stomach, watching your meshed juices seep out of your pussy in awe and dipping a finger between your folds to drizzle the creamy mix of fluid onto your tongue.

As you ran your tongue over the remaining stickiness along your finger, you inadvertently made eye contact with Toji. His eyes narrowed, and he swiftly grabbed your wrist with a commanding voice.

“Lay back down.”

Want punctuated every word, and you kissed the space between his knuckles before lifting your head to deposit a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth. 

“Make me.”

_________________

End Notes:

dudes this is twice the length of the other chapters ygrfuhkdjs honestly i could've split it in two but i DIDN'T FEEL LIKE IT LOL

hope yall enjoyed ;) next chapter is the end</3

tag list: @brumous11

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[venenatd]

last meal; jean kirstein x reader

summary: you and jean are in a relationship, and finally get some private time for a cute picnic date the day before he goes on the mission to marley. it’s v cute but also ur both horny!

content: smut / nsfw 18+. minors dni. (public/outdoors sex, dracylphilya, size kink, fingering, thigh riding, use of “good girl/baby”, praise kink, female bodied reader, unprotected sex, creampie) some fluff for good measure.

i am new to this pls let me know if i should add anything!!

word count: 3.3k words of unedited content

a/n: i saw a cottage core inspired jean post and this idea immediately popped into my head. i also kept thinking back to the sunset blush scene and it felt destined lmao. i thought it was gonna be shorter but i guess i get carried away lol. pls feel free to send me requests or ideas or give any advice on what you liked!! thanku!<3

Everything is painted with gold. The sun hanging low in the sky, despite the late hour, still warms your skin. You and Jean walk away from the Scout Headquarters, warmth of the evening allowing you to roam without coats. 

He’s in a tight cream shirt, braces holding up darker toned pants. A simple hat sits on his head, shading his eyes from the setting sun. You, a simple sage dress, loose and flowing around your legs. The long grass tickles your flesh, and the two of you laugh as you try running through the field, lifting your limbs stupidly high to jump over the pasture. 

Jean snorts at you, watching you flap around. The orange hue of dusk makes your hair shine, your skin glow beautifully. And as you look up at him, a wide and goofy smile spreading across your face, he can see all the flecks and details of varying colours in your eyes. And it takes his breath away. 

It was the last night before the end. He’s not sure of what, but it feels like the next chapter is to be finished when he closes his eyes tonight. Tomorrow he goes to Marley. Hange ordered all of their team to go relax for the final day at home. “We’ve gone over the plans enough, we know every angle! Go! Shoo!”

Hange was right. Going in and getting Eren home. It was engrained in Jeans brain. The scouts knew everything they were going to before they arrived. So tonight, it’s all about you.

You, with your skirt floating around you as you weave between trees, making your way to the clearing the two of you know so well. It’s where he first admitted feelings, where you first kissed. The others don’t know (or so you both think), and until he’s safe from his last mission, you’re not sure the two of you will ever reveal your affiliation. 

Pulling a blanket from the picnic basket you’ve brought with you, Jean lays it down on the ground. There’s a wide pond in front of you both, some ducks still paddling about. A thin haze floats over the water, the last of the summer heat still encouraging dragonflies and water skippers out. 

The light snacks you’d managed to sneak out from your job in the kitchen were delicious. You’d whipped up some light pastries and desserts from leftover ingredients. Even some strawberries and grapes. Whilst everything was miniscule from lack of provisions, it tasted good enough. 

Dipping the sweet red fruit from the cream and sugar and between your lips, Jean is in heaven. Your hair being pushed by the wind away from your face, the rosiness on your cheeks. The world may end tomorrow, but tonight he’s got all he needs.

His hands reach over, noticing the drip of cream collecting on the corner of your lips. Swiping his thumb along your cheek, he notes “you’ve got a lil..”

Jean looks at you, his eyes locking on yours, still gently cupping your face in his hands. Warm pupils flick down. His brows scrunch together for a moment, before he moves forward. His other hand comes up to your face, and he is so gentle when he kisses you. It’s as if he may break you if he goes too far.

The soft plush of his lips on yours, slowly pulling you in is intoxicating. He leans back on his forearms, pulling you over him, not letting you leave his mouth. You knock into his hat, it flopping off behind him as you lower your chest over his.

A hand reaches to his chestnut hair. It’s grown long over the last few years. You play with tendrils, the two of you lazily kissing. It’s soft and easy. You’re breathing into one another your chest resting on his as you move a leg to intertwine with his. 

Shifting yourself slightly, you rest directly above his thigh. Jeans hand comes to the back of your neck, making sure you don’t split the contact he so desperately needs. Your nails slide softly against his scalp, twisting into his hair with more want. 

The man, your man, underneath you curls forward, leg lifting and chest pushing up into you. Your crotch bumps against his thigh. A delightful little gasp erupts from you. If Jean wasn’t tongue deep in your mouth he could have even missed it. But he is, and he didn’t. 

He’s tempted to see how far he can take this, maybe make another first here. You’ve had sex, and plenty of it. Although for the most part it’s been rushed, the nature of your jobs only allowing for quickies. You both lived in shared rooms, and the lack of privacy was definitely a roadblock in his attempts to please you.

This clearing, in the outside meadows by headquarters, is maybe an ironic place for the privacy you both so need. Putting any doubt out of his mind, Jean lifts his muscular thigh, achieving another gasp into his mouth from you. You grind against it slowly, tentatively.

“No need to be shy, baby girl” he smiles into the kiss.

Cheeks rosy, you roll your hips along his leg. Jeans body rises further, leaning back casually on one hand, the other gripping the flesh between your waist and hip. He breaks the kiss that has been going on so long, wanting to take in all the ways your face displays pleasure. 

Your eyebrows knit together slightly. Your lips are wet with saliva, slightly parted as you give off little mewls each time your clothed cunt is brushed along his cotton pants. 

There’s a sweet and tender feeling building in your lower stomach. You can feel how wet you’re getting, the slow and methodical undulations generating a heat between your thighs. 

“Jean, plea-”

“You want more?” he’s quick to answer. Your head jumps and up and down, past the point of playing shy. 

His long fingers meet with your jaw once more, lightly skimming your features. He’s noting it all down in his head. Maybe he’ll even make a drawing of you. You pause in your ministrations, and a low tutting comes from the man. “No, no. Keep riding. Get yourself ready.” 

A delicious smile emerges on your face, and you bear down on his thigh. You take your hands on each leg, gripping onto the thickly built muscle underneath the cloth. A couple of fingers miss their mark, and you can feel how hard Jean is getting. Eyes flash between his crotch and his face, and he can sense how eager you are to please him. 

His touch moves from your jaw down, one finger slowly running along the centre of your throat. Jeans hand dips, slowly dragging his fingernails across each collar bone, down to the valley of your chest. Your breath hitches, and he moves away again. You shift your hand in response, moving it towards the joint between his thigh and pelvis, allowing your fingers to brush his clothed balls.

Wherever his fingers move leaves a tingling in their wake. They push towards your shoulder, teasing the fabric from each one. Your dress pools a little, allowing him to make his way back, this time taking your breast in his hand. Thumb brushes against your puffy buds, and a finger meets it to squeeze lightly.

Jean fully lifts off the blanket, sat up straight. He makes quick work of your dress, pulling it down and pushing it up. He grabs at your legs, going between light caresses and tight grasps, not knowing which to settle with. Finally he finds purchase in your ass, guiding you back and forth over his thigh.

You moan into his mouth, fully succumbing to the wetness surely dampening through your panties, the feeling of his fingers twisting and teasing your pert nipples. He raises his fingers from your chest, using his thumb on your lower lip to apply gentle pressure. 

Breaking the trail of saliva that connects you both, he pushes an index finger between your lips. You’re all too eager to suck on it, eyes looking dutifully at him. He inhales sharply between his teeth. His cock is so hard, so desperate to fuck into you. Jean wants it to be slow and beautiful, but he simply needs to have you. He wants you close to him before he leaves and doesn’t know if he’ll come back. And close means being inside you, hearing you in your purest form. 

The dusky pink settling on his cheeks could be the sun, low in the sky, filling the meadow with rich hues. 

Your moans could not be interpreted so wholesomely.

Fingers wet with your spit, he moves his hand between your legs, under the skirt. Pushing your panties to the side he lets you ride his palm for a moment. Teasing yourself, teasing your clit on his strong hand. He goes deeper, fingers sliding through your folds. He slips through your folds, resting at your entrance, before allowing your hips to rise and him to push knuckle deep inside you.

You reddened lips form a perfect ‘o’, and the bliss on your face is one he will remember forever. His thumb moves to your clit. Still on top of him, Jean watches you fuck yourself on his fingers. He kisses your neck, your chest. Taking your nipples and sucking, biting, nibbling. 

Your walls are closing in on him, before gently relaxing and he can tell you’re close. 

“Don’t be shy” Jean reissues his earlier statement. But now it’s far huskier, far more commanding. “I want to hear you, y/n. I want to hear you cum.” 

You’re watching his face, the words - orders - tumble from his lips. They make you flutter around his fingers. You murmur out tiny please’s. 

“What did I say? Louder, y/n.”

You moan against his neck, “please.”

Jean pulls your hair, making you extend your neck, forcing you to look up to the hues of pink and orange. “Louder.”

You’re so close. “Jean, p- please!” 

“Good girl.”

With that he’s flicking his thumb over your clit, fucking his fingers up into your cunt. The sounds of liquid and wetness only add to the noises of you cumming. Pussy clenching around his fingers, hips giving way and as your legs start to burn and shake. Jean holds you up, working you through your orgasm. He wants nothing more than to watch you fall apart, moaning his name. And then whining curses as you become oversensitive. Yet your gummy walls still suck him in, begging for more.

Leaving your tight walls, he brings the fingers to his lips. You taste tarte and sweet. Better than strawberries any day.

Your breaths are heavy as he twists the two of you, resting you with your back on the blanket. You are radiant. A green halo of grass above you, the dusting of pink on your cheeks, your lips kiss-swollen.

Jean pushes your skirt up, eyes trained on yours as you rest on your elbows. Your eyes follow his movements. How his tongue wets his lips before he drags them on your inner thigh. How his fingers dig in to pull you closer towards him. 

He pulls off your sodden panties, kissing into your hips, your belly. Jean is slow and deliberate. As much as he wants to be deep within you, he’s never had the chance to enjoy you this slowly before. 

He rises, kissing your breasts as they spill from the top of your dress. His tongue paints saliva on your lips before slipping between them. The kiss is intense. It’s deep and sloppy and so needy. 

Your hand reaches to his shoulders, thumb slipping underneath his braces pulling them off. Hands slip under his shirt, and he quickly helps you pull it off. His muscles are firm and taught, the amount of work his body has been through over the years evident underneath your fingers. You trail fingertips over stripes of knotted flesh, kissing each mark and scar after your hands move onto the next one. 

“You’re beautiful, Jean”

Jeans cheeks go rosy and he smiles so bashfully that it breaks you apart. The lopsided grin makes you pull him back into you, teeth bumping together as you giggle into the kiss. 

He unbuttons his pants, pushing them far enough down his thighs to allow more friction as he grinds into you. Jean is noticeably straining his underwear, his member long and hard. You move your hand down to cup him, squeezing gently through the cotton. You tug on his cock, leaving him stuttering into your mouth. Holding him just tightly enough, he ruts his hips into your hand, little sighs escaping his mouth into your hair. 

Tucking your hand under the fabric, you pull out his dick. It makes your hand look smaller, Jean’s member long and hard. The pink tip is slick with precum, and your thumb brushes his head slightly, earning a little hiss. 

You go from light little touches to harsher ones. Fingers brushing against the veins on his length, before you wrap around him again. He’s whining in your ear, “you like playing with my cock? Seeing what you do to me?” 

With hooded eyelids you look at his contorting face and whisper “yes, yes. I want to please you, I want to make you feel good.” 

“Such a good girl for me.”

Taking his member, you push the tip against the heat between your legs. Teasing your clit with his head, he looks down to watch you work. Precum lightly sheens over your folds, and fuck, Jean can’t wait to add to it. 

“I w-want you so bad Jean.” 

“You have all of me.” 

You hold him against your entrance, the tip of him just resting at your little hole. Pulling him in a little, he pushes against the first tight ring. It’s always intense letting Jean fuck you, making you so full. You rock your hips up, letting him slip out a little, before grinding back down. It pulls him into you so sensually. He moans unashamedly as you control the pleasure you both receive. 

Repeating the action, you lift again, pushing him out, and again tightening your stomach muscles to curl and bring him deeper inside you. His golden eyes are trained on where you’re conjoined. 

He’s halfway inside you, stretching your tight walls so much already. Jean sits back, moving his tongue around inside his mouth before letting a ball of spit fall where his cock rests inside of you. Spreading it on his length, he helps you the rest of the way. Letting your eyes widen and gasp of surprise (how are you always surprised by the feeling?) as he fully sheaths himself inside you. 

“God, you’re so tight,” he holds himself above you, head falling back as he inhales slowly.

Jean allows you a moment to breath, before he pulls back out, quickly snapping his hips back to yours. Moans tumble out of your mouth as he fucks into you. Lashes fluttering and your tits bouncing in rhythm, you are a sight for the sorest of eyes.

“You’re so pretty for me, all splayed out on my cock.” 

He pushes your legs apart, watching his length disappear inside you. Watching how one hand twists your own nipple, the other feebly trying to grab onto his wrist. He’s splitting you apart on his dick, the feeling of being so fucking full taking over. You were already sensitive from your last orgasm, but he builds another, the tightening in your core unmistakable. 

“J- Jean,” you hiccup, so overwhelmed by him. “You’re s- so big” 

“You’re taking me so well, y/n.” 

He lowers himself against your chest, bringing his knees upwards and closer to your ass. You curl up around him, holding your legs further up. Jean quickly renegotiates the position, pulling your legs around him whilst you hold under your knees. You can feel him so deep inside you this way, pulled into a ball underneath him. Jean wants to be impossibly close, and this new angle is punishing on your pussy. He can feel how wet you are between you, how much you enjoy the intensity of his cock working in and out. 

His forehead presses against yours, his hand snaking between you two. From his new angle, he can hit that sweet spot inside you so easily. His length sweeps against it, and hits into your furthest wall. He lets out curses as he feels your cunt tighten each time, mixing with the moans and mewls from you. You lock eyes with him, big doe eyes pricking. 

“Pl- please, I’m so close, Jean.”

Fat tears roll over your cheek, trailing to your temple. Everything feels too much. Him inside of you, the wet squelching between you. His strong fingers rubbing over your clit again and again. You let out a sob, followed by a moan. It’s a combination of knowing this is the last night, feeling how fucking intense his cock is inside you, hearing how much Jean needs you. He kisses your cheeks, tasting the salt, not faltering as he continues to pummel into you. 

“You’re doing so good, baby.”

His balls slap against your skin. 

“You can do it.” 

His teeth bite at the flesh of your breast, pull at your nipples.

“I want to hear you.”

His fingers play and roll with your clit, feeling the way you tighten around his cock.

“Please cum for me, y/n.”

Your back arches off the blanket, the night sky soaking up the moans. The lewd noises in between you both are all consuming, the slap of slick and wetness only adding to your full body sensation. 

His fingers keep moving on your clit, and Jean grunts each time your pussy spasms around his cock. He keeps pace, fucking you raw and with need. He loves to see your delicate face scrunched up, eyes rolling back and mouth unable to close. 

And with the tightening of your walls around him, Jean’s close. “Where do you want me?” 

“I want,” you inhale sharply, as his cock drives back into you, “you inside me- I- I need you Jean. Please.”

“You’re so good, baby, you’re so good.” He’s getting quicker, making you writhe beneath him in your overstimulated state. “I’ll give you what you want, okay? I’m going to cum inside your pretty pussy.” 

Jeans fingers are going to bruise you. He's holding onto you so tight, never wanting to let you go. It’ll be something to remember him by. Movements are starting to stammer, the sweat evident by the sheen forming across his shoulders and face. You tuck a tendril of his honey hair behind his ear. “I love you”, you whisper amongst the moans. And with that he pushes deep enough to make you cry out, feeling the hot ropes of cum painting your walls. 

Your man rests inside you for a moment, gathering his breath as he leaves languid kisses against your breasts, your jaw, your lips. He pulls out, seeing his cum drip from your pussy. Using his fingers he pushes the white around your folds, earning a sharp his when he brushes past your clit. Finally, he brings his fingers to your lips, and you put out a delicate tongue. 

Cleaning him with your mouth, he sits back, sighing softly. How can you be this good? And you like him? Jean thinks he is the luckiest man on earth. He adjusts your dress for comfortability, before dipping next to you. Your heads are lightly touching, your hair intertwined with his. Staring up at the sky as the last colour leaves it in its inkiness, he holds you close. He presses his final kiss on your forehead. 

“I love you too.” 

[silversatoru]

Omg I think I'm requesting smut with wrong characters, it's so embarrassing, so i'm gonna ask you again :')

Can I request a Gojo smut without his blindfold + teasing + voyeurism? Thaaank youuu soo muchhh besto friendo=)

sensei

gojo satoru x f!reader x itadori yuuji

synopsis: satoru teaches an inexperienced yuuji how to properly fuck his girlfriend after hearing him make several inappropriate comments about her — and accidentally discovers a raging voyeurism kink

t/w: nsfw 18+, aged! up! yuuji!, voyeurism, virgin yuuji, mild teasing, fingering, oral sex (fem receiving), masturbation (male), mild bondage, threesome? yeah kinda

w/c: 1.9k

a/n: hey best friend!! don’t be embarrassed it’s all good <3 you didn’t give me much storyline so i really took some liberties with it lmao i hope you don’t mind (u want voyeurism i give u voyuerism)

yuuji never expected to be in the situation he was currently in, his mouth hanging open in shock as he observed the scene in front of him. you were completely bare, shackled to the bedposts with your puffy lips parted in a perfect “o”. he never intended for things to go this far — he really didn’t think a few harmless comments about how hot his teacher’s girlfriend was would get him here.

but satoru didn’t take yuuji’s lewd comments about you casually, and he planned to make the pink-haired boy follow through with every statement he’d ever made.

“why are you so shy all of the sudden?” satoru prodded, walking to the other side of the room and sliding into a velvety chair, “you seemed so confident when you said you would ‘rail the hell out of her’ earlier”.

“no- sensei- i, uh-,” yuuji was an embarrassed and scrambled mess, his brain practically imploding as he tried to make sense of his current situation.

“you said, and i quote: ‘i’d eat that pussy like it’s my last meal’ and ‘bro i’d fuck her so hard her legs would stop working’” satoru raised an eyebrow at him, “here’s your opportunity to do just that”.

yuuji swallowed thickly, his eyes glazing over your body as he drank up every one of your curves. his sensei was instructing him to have sex with his girlfriend while he watched, wasn’t this kind of fucked up?

“wow yuuji~ you really said those things?” your light, nonchalant voice startled him.

“i uh-,” yuuji was still at a loss for words, wiping his sweaty palms on the back of his uniform.

“uh- what? is it because you don’t actually know how to do any of those things? is that why you’re so hesitant?” satoru was getting mildly impatient, but he was enjoying how flustered the younger boy was.

“um, no i- yeah... i don’t know how,” yuuji admitted — he had zero experience in bed, but the tightness in his pants was attempting to convince him otherwise.

“i’ll walk you through it, how does that sound?” satoru’s voice had a coaxing effect to it, and between that and yuuji’s growing member he was really considering going along with this whole thing.

“isn’t this weird, sensei? i’m... not sure,” he gave satoru one last glance of hesitation.

“it’s only weird if you make it weird,” satoru shrugged, “now get on the bed yuuji. she’ll be good for you, and i’ll tell you what to do”.

yuuji couldn’t believe himself when he started walking forward, slipping off his shoes and climbing onto the edge of the bed. seeing your body up close sent adrenaline pumping through his body, his uniform pants becoming uncomfortably tight at this point.

“good,” satoru cooed, “now, she likes to be teased, so we’ll start small. go ahead and feel her, i bet she’s already drenched for you”.

yuuji lifted a shaky hand, reaching forward and pressing two of his fingers along your glossy folds. satoru had been right, they were slimy and wet and his fingers were practically engulfed by your entrance. he sucked in a dry breath when he felt your walls clench around his fingers, his dick twitching in his trousers.

“so eager,” satoru clicked his tongue, “slide your fingers in and curl them up before pulling them out again, she’ll like that”.

yuuji was a quick learner, stroking his fingers into you with completely fluidity and causing a few whines to leave your mouth. earning those noises from you and hearing the squelches of his fingers in your cunt went straight to his head, and he knew instantly that he wanted to hear more of that.

“try using your mouth, yuuji,” satoru continued to instruct him, an uncomfortable tightness forming in his own pants as he watched you squirm in bed with another man.

he clenched his fingers at his sides, not allowing himself to jerk off to something like this. yuuji dipped his head down and immediately locked his mouth onto your cunt. you reacted with a few twitches, the boy’s rough and inexperienced tongue sending jolts through your sensitive body. his laps were choppy and uneven, but it felt good none the less and you were trying not to squeeze his face between your thighs.

“okay yuuji, take a breath,” satoru coerced him to stop after a few minutes, “use your hand again”.

the pink-haired boy pulled himself out of your legs, his chin coated in a thick layer of gooey saliva. he wiped the mess onto his sleeve, reaching back down to your cunt with his other hand. he had foggy, lusty eyes now; his nerves subsiding and his comfort increasing as you rewarded his actions with pretty sounds.

satoru was biting down on his bottom lip so hard he swore he could taste iron, his hands clenching in his lap as he tried to refrain from touching himself. he had every intention of teasing and embarrassing yuuji, but he never planned to enjoy watching it this much. there was something about the inexperienced boy making hasty touches to your body that was clouding his head with fervor.

yuuji had been going at it with his fingers for a while now, and you were a squirming mess of pleads for more. his hands and his tongue felt good, but because of his lack of experience, none of it was enough to push you to an orgasm. you needed more — you needed someone to fuck you and you didn’t care who it was.

“i think she’s warmed up enough,” satoru finally interjected, making yuuji pause and look to his sensei for direction, “you’re gonna fuck her now”.

yuuji face paled, his nerves spiking and his cock twitching in anticipation, “you- you’re gonna tell me what to do, right?”

“of course,” satoru hummed, “but we can’t do much until you take your clothes off”.

yuuji was in no way insecure about his body; he was ridiculously muscular and well-built and his body had some pretty nice definition right now. that being said, taking off his clothes in front of his teacher and having eyes on his back while he had sex for the first time was still incredibly intimidating — intimidating but also exhilarating and part of was actually kind of excited.

satoru watched with steady eyes as the other man stripped off his clothes, his swollen cock finally bursting free and dripping with glossy precum. yuuji had watched more than enough porn to understand the basics, climbing back onto the bed and positioning himself between your waist — but after that he looked to his teacher for guidance.

“she’s soaking wet for you, yuuji, it’ll slide right in,” he gave him an encouraging nod, still watching from the corner of the bedroom.

yuuji swallowed hard, wrapping his fingers around his girthy cock and positioning himself so he was prodding against your entrance. instinctive flinches leapt from your body, your fingers twitching and mouth parting open in a gasp. when he finally thrusted himself inside, a high-pitched moan ripped through your throat. your boyfriend was certainty blessed in terms of length, but yuuji’s cock was thick.

“now grab her legs and roll your hips so you move in and out. though i’m sure this isn’t your first time fucking something,” satoru let the snarky comment leave his mouth as he shifted uncomfortably in his chair, brushing his finger tips over the head of his still-clothed member.

yuuji barely noticed satoru’s voice now, his brain flooded with how good your hot, sticky cunt felt wrapped around his dick. his sensei wasn’t wrong, he’d shamefully fucked his pillow a few times in the past but shit, that completely paled in comparison to this. he quickly picked up a decent pace, his hips slamming into your legs with every thrust.

satoru was pushed over the edge by what was occurring in front of him, the older man unzipping his pants and letting his own cock finally spring free. he wiped his fingers over the sensitive tip, collecting the precum and smearing it down his shaft. a throaty groan quietly left his lips, his body warm with pleasure now that he was finally touching himself.

he threw his head back in bliss at the feeling of his hand around his cock and the sensual combination of you and yuuji’s moans. his hips rocked back and forth as his fucked himself into his hand, his eyes focused intently on yuuji’s erratic thrusts.

“you’re doing so well, yuuji,” he cooed at the pink-haired boy and then at you, “how do you think he’s doing, love?”

“ah- so good! so good, yuuji!” you stammered, your words coming out somewhere between a yelp and a whimper.

his face grew red but his chest swelled with pride at the sudden praises; he liked being told how good he was doing.

satoru coached him through a couple more positions, his hand still grasped around his own cock and pumping hard as he did. the tip of his member was puffy, red, and begging for any kind of release. and coincidentally, yuuji was hitting his breaking point as well.

“ah- sensei, i think i might come already,” he mumbled, slight embarrassment laced through his words.

“that’s okay,” satoru reassured him, standing from his seat and approaching the side of the bed, “but make sure you pull out when you come, yeah? she likes it when you finish all over her tits”.

you weren’t even cognizant of their conversation, head wheeling with pleasure and adrenaline flowing through your veins as you felt satoru’s hands cup your breasts and yuuji’s cock continue to pound into your cunt. it was an overwhelming bliss, having both of their attention on you at once.

your boyfriend released your breasts after rolling your nipples between his fingers a few times, retuning his hand back to aching member. he started to pump himself at a quick pace again, heavy sighs falling from his lips.

“tell me when your going to come, yuuji, okay?”

the younger male gave him a hasty nod and a grunt of confirmation, a couple beads of sweat rolling down his brow bone. he might have been able to last a little longer if it weren’t for your sudden orgasm ripping through your body — your warm walls contracting against his cock and gorgeous mewls leaking from your lips. he was lucky if he lasted another thirty seconds after that, whining a strangled, “now,” as he removed himself from your cavern and let ropes of white fly across your abdomen.

satoru ensured his release occurred at the same time, letting out a deep groan as he sprayed his seed all over your chest and face. globs of white coated your skin from multiple directions, leaving you sticky and tired with nothing but heavy pants audible from around you.

after he recovered from his climax, satoru instructed yuuji to follow him to the bathroom — handing him a wet, soapy towel as well as a dry one, “never forget to clean up afterwards”.

yuuji took every piece of advice seriously, cleaning up your body with the soapy cloth and then drying you off with the other one. as he finished dabbing your skin dry, satoru undid your shackles and let your wrists fall back to your sides.

you curled your shaky legs into your chest, a soft smile on your face as you looked at yuuji, “we might have to invite him over more often, satoru”.

[wooahaes]

sorry this is two parts w like. idk more nsfw-related stuff under a cut? i don’t write smut here (i’d consider it for another sideblog but eh, i def wouldn’t be as active there bc sometimes trauma shit hits hard when it comes to that sort of thing--literally just depends on the day), but yeah i consume it sometimes lmao

i... genuinely think i try to skip a fic every time it doesnt contain warnings at all. like you don’t have to have a setup like i do and like other writers do where we have a word count and a warnings thing + what the pairing is, that’s fine? but like. come on. at least put some warnings on your fic if you know there’s potentially something triggering there. not all triggers make sense and can be preemptively warned for, but the least you can do is warn for the bigger ones. that’s for both sfw works and for smut. like: a lot of writers do! a lot of writers do warn for shit, and i appreciate them a lot. but idk i guess some people want to just get straight into their writing and while i get it, i think that can be extremely harmful if you know your fic has something triggering in it.

i’ve seen people argue about trigger warnings before because of the whole “the real world won’t hold your hand” thing but that’s bullshit. p*r*site is one of my favorite movies and i watched it in a class for the first time and one of my friends went out of their way to tell me that there’s an uncomfortable sex scene in it bc they knew it could fuck me up depending on the day. people i know will go out of their way to give a heads up for things. i’ve suggested movies to people i don’t know well and said “oh, shit, btw, huge trigger warning for (x)” because it’s a triggering subject and i don’t want anyone to suffer as a result. websites exist to warn people about shit. and even offline, there’s those things vets put in their yards around fourth of july because the sound of fireworks can be triggering to them. anyone who says that the “real world won’t hold your hand” is a dick who just wants an excuse to not care for others imo.

anyway fat girl rant under the cut specifically (nsfw warning in general for the topic bc god its abt smut. sorry gamers. minors dni with that part or ur getting blocked if u say anything)

idk what to call them other than a bulge kink but if thats wrong then my b. idk they feel... a liiiil assuming that reader is skinny? that u can see a bulge from where a dick is inside someone? bc there’s nothing in front of it (i.e. fat)? idk man fucking warn for that shit because it automatically sends up the red flag of “ohhh readers skinny...” for me every time i stumble across it w/o any warning. like idk if any other chubby writers wanna weigh in on that, feel free to? i just tend to look at myself and see my chub and im like. yeah theres no way ur seeing ur dick bulge out unless ur super fucking hung and if u are then i am afraid for me.

also sorry these arent really put together lmao im literally just talking at this point. i used up the brain power w the “include warnings” part.

idk i think... a lot of smut just assumes reader is thin, moreso than sfw stuff. ik ive spoken w someone abt this (i wont @ her since idk if she wants that) but like. the whole “jump and ill carry you” thing feels like we’ve been conditioned to find it hot and all i can think about is the fact that i don’t think it’d ever work unless the person’s fucking ripped. do u think ming/hao from s//v//t can lift my ass? no. id break him like a fuckin twig probably. 

i dont have an actual ending for this bc admittedly im tired. sorry to ming//hao for saying the truth that id break u </3

[twisted-imagines]

Hello~! Can I request malleus headcanons with a s/o with a voice kink? Spice is preferred, but it’s up to you!

High time to water the crops, hehe~ It's pure spice, I can't perceive it any other way lmao

Please enjoy❤

S/O with a voice kink(NSFW)

Malleus Draconia🐲

• "Who goes there?" Those were the first words he ever said to you, surprised by the appearance of a human in that long-abandoned building. The fae who called you a "child of man", who had obsidian horns you had never seen before on anybody and was enveloped in a mysterious aura no matter where he went. You could never imagine he would become your significant other, who would calmly read his book beside you in the Diasomnia dorm's secret gazebo or take leisure walks around college grounds at night with you by his side.

• It was no longer strange for you to become intimate with him in the privacy of your own rooms because, frankly speaking, denying your attraction to him was impossible. Malleus was lovable and deviously alluring. You were enamored with him to the point the man could fluster you with just a few words. Or was it always your weakness?

• The bass resonated through your entire body and set it on fire every time he talked to you. Perhaps, Malleus didn't notice or didn't link it to his voice, the way you clenched your legs and fists tighter or covered red from head to toe. And maybe you were thankful that he didn't know about the ultimate weapon he possessed against you, your biggest weakness - his voice. You didn't know what he would do, if he was aware of the things it did to you, most likely he would never let you get away with it and so you tried your hardest to hide it.

• For example, not slip away from reality when he leaned down just to carefully whisper something to you.

"Oh, getting so bashful over a few sweet words of affection? It doesn't take much to make you happy, does it? Well, I like this trait of yours too, my lovely dove."

• Or not moan out loud when he talked dirty right next to your ear, while simultaneously hitting your most sensitive spot.

"You're a dirty creature, human. Moaning and crying for me like this, do you crave me that much?

Fine, beg nicely and I might consider helping you out with this little "predicament" of yours."

• And definitely not drool and get hot under the collar when Malleus, being the sweet and romantic boyfriend that he was, decided to read his favorite book to you, while you were seated cozily in between his legs. Alas, your understanding of 'cozy' was very different from listening to his velvety, mellifluous voice drop perfectly or pitch higher to suit the characters of the book, all the while being close to you, so close you could feel the tiniest vibrations. Head ditzy, you were drowning in the warm honey of Malleus' baritone, his voice instigating the most carnal desires and fueling gluttonous flames inside your body. The state you were in could be described with the only word - 'horny'. So no, you were not comfortable and wished he would do something, anything to end this torture.

He did not stop reading until the temperature of your body was unusually high and he could feel it even through your clothes.

"Darling, do you feel well?"

Gently bringing your face to his, Malleus observed you attentively. Your flushed expression alarmed Malleus, making him go straight into a protective mode, pointedly missing the very much obvious signs of your arousal. You could not allow it.

"Malleus, please~"

How could he ignore it now, that you've made it clear you were indeed lusting over him, enticing and provoking him with your forward acts, shifting to his lap, pressing your chest closer, letting Malleus touch and feel you.

"Oh, angel, you should have told me sooner. As per your request, we would have skipped the "boring book" part if you wanted to."

"No."

The man could no longer hide how amused he was. Fangs bared in a half mocking half happy smile. He definitely enjoyed where you were leading to.

"No?"

"It's not boring... I like your voice, Malleus. And when you're so close, I... Ah-"

Malleus was beaming. Your beyond embarrassed expression, the sweet confession, and the lewd little moans he earned in return every time his knee brushed against your core. All of this was his, for him only and he couldn't be more turned on at that moment.

"Ahaha, my darling, I'm very happy you decided to open your heart to me and reveal this little secret of yours. Making you happy and satisfied brings me happiness too."

His hands sneaking up your clothes, caressing your sides and slowly undressing you, made you arch further against him. You wanted nothing more than to lay bare before him, in all senses, and bask in his attention, chase after the burning heat of his hands bringing you relief.

"Don't worry, doll face, I will take the best care of you."

• Your hunch was right, after all. Never the one to withhold his thoughts from you, as long as you were willing to listen, Malleus became even more talkative with you. But a little change was due to be made: if he had something to say, now he would be right by your side, a breath away while using his huskiest, deepest voice on you.

• You wholeheartedly considered that your fae boyfriend was on a task to drive you completely insane with this abundance of fleeting touches, murmured praises, and words of affirmation. You hadn't even suspected, that Malleus even wished for you to cling and moan softly into his ear so nobody except for him could hear and do it so often. Apparently, you had experienced not even a fraction of his libido so far.

• Don't fret though, little lamb. He's been around long enough to be able to tell when you're at your limits and his teasing needs to stop, or maybe continue in his room. And by the time he finally brings you there, you're ready to beg just so he would fill you up already.

• Malleus has always been a very powerful being, but the power your "adoration" for his voice gives him, is something he hasn't experienced before. He's so full of himself, his cute human loves him so much and is so eager to keep him company, listen to him and make love to him. He has never paid much attention to his voice, but oh how proud is he about it now, words can't describe. While teasing you boosts his ego immensely, he's ready to indulge you at almost any time. If there's anything particular you want him to say, or bring some fantasy alive, roleplay with him or entertain you over the phone when you feel lonely, Malleus is up for it. Only the best for his significant other, best sex including.

• How about reading not just any book this time, but specifically a graphic one? Malleus is holding a book in one hand, reading a scene of heroes having passionate intercourse, while he fingers you with the other hand, his hot breath fanning your ear.

• You may hold just a little chat with other person, but if Malleus notices that they have that kind of voice that usually makes your legs quiver, he'll be on edge instantly. The fae is prone to overthink things, and you'll know right away what kind of thoughts go through his head when he suddenly enters the conversation, his voice just a tad bit higher for this volume to be considered normal. He can't make you listen to him only, what a shame, Malleus is not as delusional. He'll make sure to turn your attention to him as much as he can though, for as long as he holds the proud title of your boyfriend.

[trulivin]

Family Troubles

A/N: Here’s another one finally! (I finished it last night and thought I would be really busy today, BUT I’m free now so I thought it would be good to post it!) To the nonny who requested, I hope this is what you were looking for! Honestly, I don’t know how I feel about this. I’m not saying it’s bad, but I just, I don’t know. I say that about everything I write don’t I lmao. I don’t know if I built their relationship good enough. Please send feedback, comment, like, etc. I do hope you enjoy though! I love writing! It’s so fun! Thanks for the request!

ALSO, this contains another sensitive topic. Mental abuse is real! I’ve experienced it. If you ever find yourself being manipulated by someone that causes you to doubt yourself or anything of that nature, speak up! Mental health is just as important as physical health! Reach out and get the help you deserve because no one deserves to be manipulated into thinking you are worthless! All love!

John B x Reader, Outer Banks

Warnings: Mental Abuse

*This isn’t my gif. Credit goes to original owner*

The Pogues. A term Y/N found dear to her heart. Her best friends. Her biggest supporters. The family she was always looking for. Whenever she was with them, all of her troubles seemed to fade away. They could do whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted. 

And then there was John B. The best type of friend a girl could ask for. Y/N had known him longer than the two had known JJ. Her father and John B’s, before he went missing, were the best of friends automatically making their children become friends. Y/N had spent every waking moment with John B since she could remember. 

As the two got older, there was a point when John B became more than a brother to Y/N. And at some point, John B realized Y/N was a pretty girl. But, as their group went from two to five, a certain rule popped up: no-Pogue-on-Pogue macking. 

Y/N never really minded it. She was still one hundred percent convinced John B still saw her as his sister, and she refused to ruin their lifelong friendship over some silly crush. 

Kie, JJ, and Pope saw right through the girl, on the other hand. They honestly didn’t care if Y/N and John B got together. It would even be a relief to them so they wouldn’t have to put up with the constant longing looks from the pair. Not to mention the subconscious touchy shit that makes JJ gag. 

JJ would constantly bring it up to John B too. Yet, he would, as JJ would say, deny, deny, deny. 

But, regardless of John B and Y/N’s feelings for one another, the Pogues were always having a good time. 

Except when Y/N had to go home and face her real family. 

She never knew why she went back. John B was living without his father and seemed to avoid DCS fairly well. Why couldn’t she?

Yet somehow, she’d always wind up back in her tiny house on the Cut. 

It wasn’t that her home situation was horrible. It just wasn’t great either. After John B’s dad disappeared, Y/N’s father left her and her mother to fend for themselves. For awhile, Y/N and her mom wouldn’t even speak to each other. Y/N never knew why they didn’t speak, but then a week later, a stranger was caught leaving her house in the morning. After that, Y/N’s mother had finally started speaking to her again as more and more men would be caught leaving the house in the morning. 

Sadly, Y/N’s mother had changed. She would lash out at Y/N, telling her how useless she was and how Y/N should be helping her poor mom make money so they could eat. Y/N would take in every word her mom would say and try to explain she was doing little things to help out. The jobs were sporadic but it was something. 

Their arguments would usually result in Y/N storming out of the house, but then getting a call about thirty minutes later from her mom, saying  how sorry she was for saying all those things. She’d go on and on about how Y/N was such a great daughter and how she loved her so much. 

So, Y/N would always come home with the slightest hope that her mother was alright and meant what she said. But, the same thing would happen a few days later, and Y/N would find herself in tears as her mother screamed at her for being incompetent like her father. 

John B had a faint idea that home life for Y/N wasn’t very good. He could read her like a book after all. He could tell something had happened when the crew would be hanging out and Y/N was oddly quiet, but whenever he asked, she would just brush it off. Even Kie, JJ, and Pope could tell when something was wrong, but instead of pushing her, they left Y/N alone. John B, however, thought she shouldn’t be left alone and felt as if she was battling with something mentally. 

His suspicions were confirmed when he heard the little jabs her mother would give towards her daughter that Y/N didn’t even seem to notice. 

John B had swung by Y/N’s place to pick her up on the way to one of Kie’s family Kook events. While he was following Y/N around her room getting her stuff together, her mom had come in. “Where is it you’re going this time?” Y/M/N asked. “An outdoor movie thing that Kie invited us to,” Y/N replied, shoving stuff in her bag. 

“Total Kook stuff, Ms. Y/L/N,” John B added with a small smile. The woman just narrowed her eyes. John B dropped his gaze, slightly confused as to why Y/N’s mother was acting so weird. She had always been so kind and welcoming. 

“When will you be home?” she asked. 

“I don’t know, Mom. Late,” Y/N answered with an irritated ring. 

Y/N’s mother scoffed, “Just like usual. While I’m stuck at home slaving away.” 

John B saw Y/N roll her eyes before standing up straight and facing her mom. “What do you want me to say?” Y/N snapped. “That I should stay here and find someone else who will pay for sex?” 

John B’s gaze shot to Y/N’s at her statement. He didn’t have the slightest idea as to what was going on. 

“Save it, Y/N. I don’t want to hear it. Just go out with your stupid friends. They’re just as useless as you are,” her mother retorted. John B refused to look up at the arguing mother and daughter. 

“Are you kidding me? You’ve known John B for his entire life. You, and I quote, ‘absolutely adore that kid’, and you’re going to act like you hate him!” 

Y/N’s mother glared at her child and Y/N rolled her eyes. 

“Whatever. Let’s go,” she said, grabbing John B’s hand and shoving past the woman blocking the door. John B heard Y/N’s mother let out a breath and follow them down the hall. Y/N marched straight to the van with John B trailing after her, still shocked at the scene that had just unfolded before his eyes. 

As they were about to drive off, Y/N’s mother came outside and called in a kind voice, “Be safe, Y/N! I’m sorry!” John B noticed Y/N’s face contort in pain before she shot her mother a small smile. 

As if a switch flipped on in John B’s head, he realized what was happening. And he didn’t like it one bit.

“So,” he started slowly and felt Y/N’s gaze on him, “You’re seriously not mad at her anymore?” “What?” Y/N asked. “Who says I was mad?” 

John B really couldn’t really believe what he was hearing. 

“You were just arguing with your mom,” John B replied.

“Oh, that. That wasn’t arguing. Just a normal day in the Y/L/N household,” Y/N let out a strained laugh. John B looked at the girl with concern swimming in his eyes. “Y/N,” he said softly, “Does your mom do this a lot?”

“What call me useless, incompetent, stupid, but then says she loves me? I mean I suppose,” she mumbled. John B’s jaw clenched. “That’s not right,” he said, not taking his eyes off the road. “She still loves me,” Y/N said defensively. 

“She says she does, but--” John B started but was cut off.

“Just drop it okay?” Y/N snapped, “I’m fine. Everything is fine.” 

John B glanced at Y/N and saw her looking out the window, signalling that this conversation was over. He didn’t like it, but he kept his mouth shut anyways. 

Ever since that day, John B tried talking to his best friend and show her how abusive her mother really was. But, Y/N refused to listen to him. She didn’t want to hear it because she wanted to believe she still had her mom after her father left. 

Until one day, Y/N finally heard all of John B’s concerns in her mind. 

Y/N had just gotten back from a day out with the Pogues, and her mother had already brought a new guy home. The teenager walked in on her half naked mother and stranger on the couch. “Oh god!” Y/N shouted, covering her eyes. 

“What the hell?” the guy shouted at her mom. “Who is this?”

Y/N’s mother glared at her daughter and gritted her teeth, “This is my daughter.” 

“You never told me you had kids! Geeze how old are you?” the man said, shoving Y/M/N off of him and grabbing his clothes. “Wait, don’t!” Y/N’s mom called after the guy who was storming out. 

Y/N still stood there in shock. She wasn’t prepared for the storm that was about to enter the home. As soon as her mother came back in, she started screaming. 

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?” Y/N’s mom shouted. 

“I live here!” Y/N snapped back, her temper rising. 

“You little brat! You are always coming around when you aren’t wanted!”

“Mom! How was I supposed to know you were having someone over?” Y/N said. 

“Oh don’t play dumb,” her mother rolled her eyes, “You never approved of what I did. You’re just trying to sabotage me! All I’m doing is trying to help keep a roof of your head and food on the table! You don’t appreciate anything I do for you!”

Y/N was so confused. “You’re making no sense!” she screamed trying to hold back her tears of anger. “I appreciate everything you do! I was helping Heyward with grocery deliveries today! I was tipped big! I was trying to help!” 

“You never do anything helpful! All you do is go out with your stupid little boyfriend and friends! You’re the most worthless person I have ever met!” her mom screamed.

With every insult she spat at her daughter, Y/N felt a knife twist in her heart, and John B’s words echo in her head. Your mom may not be physically abusing you but she still is abusing you. Y/N, you need to get out of there. 

“God, you’re the worst daughter someone could have asked for! You worthless piece of shit! Are you listening to me?” Y/N’s mom screamed, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her. Y/N shrunk back in fear. “I wish you were the one who left instead of your father,” Y/N’s mom hissed. 

Y/N felt as though a boulder had crushed her heart. Tears flowed down her face as she shoved her mom off of her. Her mom’s face immediately fell as she realized what she said. “No, sweetie, I didn’t mean it,” her mom tried touching Y/N’s arm, but the girl jerked away. 

Y/N had a look of horror written across her face. How could she do a complete 180? Y/N thought to herself. 

“Y/N, baby. You know I didn’t mean it. I love you.”

“No you don’t,” Y/N cried, backing away from her mother. “You’re sick. I’m sorry your husband left you, but that’s no reason to take your pain out on your child. You’re supposed to protect me! I lost a father too! But you, you just act like a complete idiot!” 

“No, sweetie--” Y/N’s mother started.

“I wish you were the one who left! Better you than Dad!” 

And then Y/N ran. 

She didn’t know where she’d go, but she knew she just needed to go anywhere but her home. Y/N let her legs carry her subconsciously and somehow wound up on the porch of the Chateau. Sobs racked her body as she collapsed on the ground.

John B opened the door expecting an animal or burglar but looked down to see a sobbing Y/N. 

“Hey, hey, what happened?” John B said immediately, scoping her up in his arms, bringing her inside. 

He went to set her down on the couch, but Y/N clung on to him and cried harder. John B sat down with her in his lap, a hand wrapped around her waist and head as he let her cry. John B knew what happened. He knew something like this was coming. Her mother must’ve said some awful thing and Y/N must’ve finally seen what was really going on. 

“Shhh,” John B soothed as Y/N cried harder. “Whatever she said to you is a lie. You’re worth it. You’re worth something,” John B whispered in her ear. Y/N seemed to quiet a bit at the sound of his voice so John B continued. 

“You’ve always been perfect, Y/N,” he said. John B didn’t really know where he was getting these words from. He never admitted his feelings for Y/N to JJ, but now, now he just knew he couldn’t deny it any longer. She needed to know that someone still loved her. 

“You’re always putting everyone’s happiness first, so when she says you’re useless or incompetent, she’s wrong. You’re a selfless, beautiful girl.” 

Y/N’s heart began pounding out of her chest as she listened to John B’s words. 

“I know you don’t want to hear this,” John B continued, “but she doesn’t love you. She’s not your family anymore. You have other people who love you. JJ, Kie, Pope. And me.” Y/N had stopped crying at this point. Does he mean it more than a friend?

“I,” John B hesitated, “I love you. And I think everyone has known that except you.” 

John B fell silent after that, holding his breath. He had no idea what Y/N would do. Y/N slowly lifted her head off of his chest and looked up at him. John B’s eyes were full of concern, but a little apprehension. He was waiting for her to say something. 

Instead, she leaned up, pressing her lips to his. John B instantly kissed her back. The kiss was sweet and slow. Y/N felt a warmth spread throughout her body as his grip tightened around her frame. She finally felt at home. Never in a million years did she think she would be kissing the boy who put sand in her hair as little kids. 

When they broke apart, Y/N’s mouth quirked up, “I love you too, John Booker Rutledge.” John B grinned and pulled her back in for another kiss. She moaned quietly as he bit down on her lip causing his hands to grip her waist a little tighter. Soon enough, Y/N found herself straddling John B. 

Her hands found the bottom of his t-shirt and began tugging at it. However, he quickly grabbed her wrists to stop her. “Wait, wait,” he said, pulling away. Y/N pouted a bit. “We aren’t doing this right now.” “Why not?” Y/N whined a bit. 

“You just ran away from home,” John B replied. 

“So?”

“Y/N,” he said with a stern voice, “You need to tell me what happened. Now is not the night for us to be ignoring this and you know it.” 

Y/N contemplated his words for a moment, but reluctantly agreed. They resituated themselves to where she was laying on his chest while his arm was around her waist again. 

“Well,” Y/N started slowly, “I came home and found my mom with another man. The man flipped out cause I guess my mom lied about her age and about having kids. And then she proceeded to blow up at me. Kept telling me how I was trying to sabotage her work and how I was worthless. The usual nonsense you know.” 

John B nodded in the dark and gave her a squeeze telling her to continue. 

“And,” Y/N paused, “and then she said she wished it was me who left instead of Dad.”

John B’s heart sank. “But then,” Y/N continued, “It was like she flipped a switch. She claimed she didn’t mean it and that she loved me. I didn’t believe her this time so that’s when I ran.”

Y/N shifted so she could look at the boy. John B had a mixed look of anger and sadness on his face. “Y/N,” he started, “you’re not going back there.” And for once, Y/N listened to him. “Ok.” John B was slightly surprised, but mostly relieved she didn’t try to defend her mother. 

Y/N laid back down and closed her eyes as John B started speaking again.

“You don’t know how much you are loved. Especially me, but the group. JJ would fall apart if you weren’t here, and Kie and Pope, you know how much they care about you. Don’t let anyone tell you you are nothing because you are far from it. I promise you. You are worth everything to me. Promise me you won’t ever doubt yourself,” John B said. 

Y/N smiled in the darkness. “I promise, John B.” He wrapped both arms around her and pulled her even closer as she finally drifted off to sleep. 

The next morning, the two were woken up by a very loud voice. “Well, well, well. What do we have here?” JJ smirked. Y/N curled into John B’s chest mumbling something about killing JJ for waking her up. 

“Leave them be JJ,” Kie’s voice snapped softly. “Thanks Kie,” John B groaned, slinging his arm over his face to block out the sunlight. 

“Let’s go, we’ll meet up later,” Kie said before John B heard the porch door open and close. 

“Congrats man,” JJ added kindly before slipping outside after Kie. “I love you,” Y/N mumbled before her soft snores filled the room again. John B grinned like an idiot and whispered, “I love you too my sweet girl,” before he slipped back into a comfortable sleep.

_____________________________________________

I hope you enjoyed! More fics coming soon! And feel free to send in requests! Xoxo

[the-darklings]

Hi so.. I just finished watching The Ruthless on Netflix (because riccardo looked v cute in it) and there’s a scene, SPOLIER.. where his mistress asks him to marry her😳 I immediately thought of Camorra V because like she’d be that 👏bitch👏 she knows V!santi and she loves, adores, and understands him and if he just gives her the chance she’s willing to prove it. I just wanna know what his reaction would be to her proposing in a very uncharacteristically vulnerable situation 👉👈🥺

You are right. She is. So:

…

“Bella?”

His voice is thick with sleep, his words scratchy and low, causing you to glance over your shoulder with a slight grin. 

Finally managing to hook the diamond earring into your ear, you turn to face him. 

The sight of him sprawled across your sheets, his lips bitten and hair mussed, fills you with a warm sense of feminine satisfaction. No one has ever looked so good in your bed before despite how many have tried to crawl into it. Very few have been granted the privilege but this man…

“Good morning, grumpy.”

He licks his lower lip, and even though he looks sleepy and softer than usual, you still feel the drag of his gaze down your body. The appreciation there, the heat. 

Oh, how far you have come. 

“Going already?”

Suppressing a smirk, you cut across the room and have to fight back a laugh at the intent way he watches you move. He’s on his back, a hand resting behind his head and you admire the lean cuts and dips of his chest and arms. The marks of your lovemaking are still visible on his tanned skin and an irrational part of you feels smug at that, too. 

There is no one left that could ever question what you and your delightful Viper have now. 

Your eyes drag down his form slowly. Down his chest and stomach, catching only a glimpse of his bare hip before your silken sheets hide away the rest. You linger on there, thinking over a great many things you will do with him…later.

Santino’s breaths have evened out under your scrutiny, and when you finally look at him the burn of hunger in those gorgeous green eyes is clear. Your legs brush against your shared bed as you come to a stop and you grin softly at him. 

“Hmm, a criminal empire doesn’t run itself, darling,” you remind him, but it’s a gentle, teasing thing. 

Santino’s other hand comes to cup the back of your thigh, his thumb rubbing a loving circle against your knee. “Stay with me this morning,” he says, his voice hoarse and your eyelashes flutter at his touch. “Don’t go.”

Damn him. Him and his ability to turn you into… this. 

Your patience might have been reward but he makes you feel unearthed too often. You’re not used to such a feeling, nor do you particularly enjoy relying on anyone but yourself. 

Sighing, you shake your head slightly. But that look in his eyes is so inviting that you hitch your dress higher before climbing onto the bed smoothly, straddling him with a simple parting of your legs. 

His breath hitches as you lower yourself onto his lap, making it your throne. Your fingers graze up the strong, lean muscles of his chest, and his arms wrap around you in reply. One comes to rest against your lower back, keeping you steady while his other settles against your thigh, lazily stroking the skin there. So similar to last night when his fingers sank into the flesh of your leg to keep them hooked around his waist. His grip then was desperate but now it’s tender. 

You lean over him, ghosting your lips over his and he groans, tilting his head so he can demand a kiss from you. Smiling into the kiss, you swipe your tongue over his lower lip just like you saw him do earlier, and swallow the breathless rumble from deep inside his chest. His grip on your tightens and you can feel the effect you’re having on him. Good. 

You refuse to be alone in your passion. In this hunger. 

Your mouth traces over his jaw and you press a slow kiss against his neck. And there—

A whiff of your perfume from last night still lingers on his skin and you kiss the skin again, savouring the warmth against your lips. God, you do enjoy him far, far too much. 

“If you do that again,” he warns, his voice strangled, deliciously low. “You will not be leaving this bed, amore. I don’t much care about your meetings.”

You kiss his neck again—this time adding tongue and a scrape of teeth against his pulse, too. Your fingers stroke the familiar silver chain that was once your mother’s possessively and you repeat the gesture again. His arms snap to your hips, his touch deliberate and letting you know that he’s moments away from switching your positions and you chuckle, lifting your head to look at him.

“What’s this?” you murmur, your thumb brushing over his cheek and you don’t shy away from his raging stare. No sleepiness to be found in his eyes now. “I thought you wanted me to stay?”

“Devil woman.”

Your slight grin stretches and his own gaze softens a touch, too, focusing on your smile. Perhaps due to the rarity of them. Genuine ones, at least. It’s certainly the same with him. Once every smile and laugh have felt like a victory. Now he gives them more freely. Unguarded. Just for you. 

He’s dangerous. Not only because of who he is or what he can do but because—

It’s been several months of this. Several months of no walls, no reservations. Months of laughter and danger and all-consuming sort of passion. It’s like the friendship you’ve had for years has been amplified. But it doesn’t change what you know deep down. 

“What is it?”

You blink at his question, at the warmth of his fingers against your cheek. His thumb brushes over your mouth, and you kiss it lightly, shaking your head. 

“Nothing.”

Shifting, you move to get off his lap but his hand wraps around your wrist, stilling you. 

“Tell me.”

Your eyebrow arches in amusement and you fight back another smile. Not many have lived past trying to command you. In fact, only Gianna and Hector could get away with using that tone with you. And now him. 

For a long moment, you only look at him. The tensions between you seems to have transformed, and you scrutinise him for another silent minute before you finally speak.

“I’m thinking,” you begin quietly and lean closer again, gripping the tip of his chin between your manicured fingernails. Painted a pretty, vivid green. It was his birthday last night after all. A little tribute was a must, as was the shimmering dark green gown you had worn. The very same one he could barely wait long enough to rip off your body. “That if you continue looking at me like that, I might just steal you away forever and marry you, green eyes.” 

He goes rigid beneath you. 

It takes him a second to resume breathing again and you pull away with a knowing, cynical tilt of your mouth. 

“Don’t worry,” you reassure him with a chuckle, playing for unfazed. “I’m not putting any rings on you just yet. Besides, if Gianna and Hector learned that I had to force you into a marriage, I would never hear the end—”

He kisses you. Deeply and with his hands coming to cup your cheeks as he tugs you closer. You feel him pour every ounce of emotion into it and a shiver crawls up your spine. The kiss is almost bruising and the tip of his nose digs into your cheek, his hot breath searing across your lips when he finally pulls back. 

It’s been months of passion and frankly mindblowing sex between you because god knows both of you can be insatiable but…

He has never kissed you quite like that. It’s like being kissed with more than just lips, more than his hands or eyes. 

Shuddering, you press your mouth into a thin line, feeling that dizzying quiver deep inside your chest. It scares you sometimes, even if you would never admit to anyone but your sister, what this man makes you feel. How much you may actually—

“I want it to be you,” he whispers in Italian, low and guarded, as he continues holding your face between his hands. His gaze is so serious, it’s an effort to keep your own expression straight. “Even if not…right now. It’s you, amore. It will only ever be you.”

“Do not make me promises—”

“But I am,” he interrupts and swallows thickly, manoeuvring your face till your foreheads touch and he gives you a smug, crooked little grin. “Do you really think you can get rid off me so easily now, hm? Not a chance, bella. It’s you and me now, mia signora.”   

…

an: I want to see that movie too because my ass can’t get over the fact that Riccardo plays a wannabe Italian mobster in the 80ties who is named….wait for it…Santo lmao. 

[im-the-punk-who]

Miranda and Thomas for the character ask meme! (Am I predictable? Maybe. Do I care? I do not.)

Okay I skipped to this one because WHOOOOOOOO BOY DO I HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT THESE TWO LMAO. Also please continue to be predictable you know me you know my FEELINGS. Uh. As a warning this is. Long. Like it was 3k at last count. Please...please bear with me.

How I feel about this character

Miranda:

Honestly my growing feeling is that I wanted such a different arc for her. She gets used for Flint’s progression(not even necessarily by Flint, but by the writing of their characters) she gets shit on by the world, she gets her world taken away, and then when she finally tries to start taking the things she wants from it back, she is killed. 

I both love, and growingly ... hate is not the word. I hate her character arc. I love my girl, who is smart, and funny, and sure of herself, who knows what she wants, knows how to get it, and in a world dominated by men isn’t afraid to cross them when it needs to happen. Who saw her world fall apart and saw the man responsible and didn’t shy away from a course of action she knew would lead to his death. Who was called a witch and shunned and had rocks thrown at her and somehow managed to build anything from that, with Flint only there sometimes and even when he was there, still angry and lost over a past that she is trying to move on from. 

God I just. my thoughts on Miranda are ever evolving and ever changing. I love her, and honestly I can’t even blame her for betraying James because their interests were SO at odds with each other that it was inevitable. 

Thomas:

Okay there are literally not enough words to explain how much I love Thomas Hamilton. I may actually love him more than James McGraw. Proportionally to how much information we are given on him I certainly do. I’ve written more meta on him(and my longest fic to date) than any other character. 

Thomas Hamilton is so important. WHY is Thomas Hamilton important? 

Because he recognizes that everyone is entitled to belonging, to not being shunned for who they are. Because he believes in love, and the goodness of things, because while this is true he is not naive about who he is or what London is - nor does he shy away from hard truths. Because he is angry about injustice, because he refuses to capitulate to societal norms even when the right path is easier. I love him a lot because of the fact that the first thing he does when he sees James after ten years is to check in with him emotionally. 

I love him so so so much because he’s cheeky and intellectual but uses that intellect for the best better he knows how to. Because when he’s shown he’s wrong he changes course because he knows that pride is a useless emotion that stymies us in connecting with other people in the ways we are meant to connect. Because he knows that shame and trying to hide who you are, those are the things that keep us apart. He knows that knowing someone and making yourself known is the truest form of connection.  

I love him because of the growth we see him go through - Thomas Hamilton has more character growth in 15 minutes than some characters have the entire show. And it is because all of these things are true: because he actively seeks to better himself, and does not shy away from his own flaws and moral failings. He is a radical because he truly believes that a better world is possible, and that love and forgiveness and understanding WHY someone is the way they are, are the paths to that better world. and I just. really love him for it. Okay?

Thomas Hamilton Stan First, Human Being Second.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Miranda:

Thomas, James, Peter Ashe’s wife

So I’m gonna kind of budge into my Thomas answer with Miranda, but I have a LOT of thoughts on her lmao.

So with James and Thomas, I do believe that she was romantically and sexually involved with both of them, at least to some degree. I don’t really have a strong opinion on how much, because that honestly changes with the story that’s being told, where in there relationship they are, etc, but I do believe they were a true triad in every sense of the word. Like Jack and Anne, I think sex particularly between Thomas and Miranda was inconsequential to their love of each other, and their romantic compatibility. Particularly because I view both of them as having other sexual partners, it’s just not important to me to define that part of their relationship. 

With James, it’s different but with some of the same machinations. Personally, I don’t think Miranda and James work as a solitary couple. They need Thomas as the fulcrum to function, and I think while this is exacerbated by Thomas’ death, it would have been true regardless. James and Miranda are very different people in a way that leads to a lot of conflict if they’re put directly to each other. 

Miranda is an individualist, she thrives on having things of her own - her garden, her relationships with the Puritans, her social life in London, her extramarital affairs - Miranda to me is the definition of an independent woman, but not in the way that makes her incapable of love or romance. Just that she puts herself before her romantic attachments. James is the very opposite - the people who are important to him are all important, and I think Miranda is a bit stifled by that, especially when trying to fill the hole left by Thomas. James needs people - he needs partners and people to be dependent on and intimate with and attached to. It’s what makes him work so well with Thomas, but with Miranda it’s a source of tension. And so,  while I do still ship them in Nassau, I tend to view them as very dysfunctional, lost, still loving towards each other but having a difficult time showing that in ways the other can understand. (James sees everything he is trying to build as a sign of his love, Miranda sees asking for the pardon as a symbol of hers.)

Okay and here’s my galaxy brain, off the walls take that I’m subjecting anyone to who will listen:

My crack ship that I will sail into that good night is Miranda and Peter’s wife, because I like to headcanon that Miranda is trans and Abigail is actually her daughter but they never told Peter bc like LMAO why would they and also Abigail looks enough like her mom and sort of like Peter that it never came up -esp since her mom was never unfaithful and just always hanging out with her galpal Miranda. 

(This also neatly solves the ‘Is Miranda barren’ question about why she and Thomas never have any kids bc the barren woman trope is one i HATE WITH A PASSION lmao.) 

Anyway so Miranda and Peter’s wife are A Thing but like, Miranda knows what London is and she’s breaking enough rules being trans, presenting as female, and being in love with a woman, so she marries Thomas when Peter and his wife(who I’ve taken after Meg in calling Kitty) marry, but Thomas is totally cool with it and he’s like ‘this is actually super convenient so have at it.’ 

(I LOVE this scene because it hints at Miranda having had this struggle before - of having to learn the difference between a little danger and mortal danger and having to potentially give up things in order to survive in a way that seems more serious that just a woman avoiding a marital scandal.)

So anyway this is also like, why she’s so desperate to return to London society because it’s so much easier to pass when there are Rules yaknow? 

But then they find Abigail, and Kitty is presumably dead, and she finds out Peter betrayed them as well and well she just MCFREAKIN LOSES IT.

Anyway this is my sandbox you’re all welcome to play in it. Enjoy.

Thomas: 

Miranda, James!

So yeah I’ve already talked about how I see Miranda and Thomas so let’s move on to the fucking main event, Thomas and James. 

THOMAS AND JAMES.

Do you have an hour to talk about my two perfect boys, Thomas Hamilton and James McGraw?

Anyway so like obviously I ship Thomas and James together and to me the best thing about their relationship is that they do compliment each other’s needs so well??? Like, Thomas, who has probably never had someone really stand up and defend him, he has people talking behind his back, even Peter and Miranda indulge him more than they should.

And then there’s James who’s like ‘BRO, MY GOOD LORD, this is MADNESS’ and FIGHTS him and MAKES him explain his case and MAKES him change his mind and see the reality in things, and doubts him and openly is like ‘My Lord I have grave doubts about whether or not something like this isn’t jsut straight up stupid.’

And Thomas is just so CHUFFED because 

1) HELLO have you seen Lieutenant James McGraw and 

2) Lieutenant James McGraw isn’t afraid to tell him he’s being an absolute right piss pot. 

And THEN his whole world view starts changing because of this man, and THEN he finds out that James??? Defended Miranda???? and he’s like ‘oh no <3’ and he starts actually really trusting and valuing James’ opinion and THEN JAMES STANDS UP FOR HIM AGAINST HIS FATHER and Thomas is like ‘well sign me up for the next war’ and they learn and grow and TRUST one another so much.

Ans on the other end there’s James, who wants so badly to BELONG to something, who has probably always been both too smart and not well bred enough, and then he meets Thomas, who doesn’t give a shit about his birth, who recognizes his talent, who LISTENS when James speaks. And not only that but he’s the most honest person James has probably ever met? And he CARES. Really, actually CARES about how his actions and the actions of his family and England as a whole affect those who are under their control. And he argues, and fights, but James learns, and he’s accepted into the Hamilton’s home as if he’s always been there. And he’s fooling around with Miranda and just gay up FALLING for Thomas and every time he thinks he’s fucked up Thomas is??? Pleased???? And then Thomas suggests possibly the DUMBEST thing James has EVER heard come out of his mouth. 

Pardons?? For ALL of the Pirates???

Thomas.

Thommy.

T-Dot-Ham.

But Thomas is like THEY’RE MEN. THEY DESERVE A SECOND CHANCE. THEY’VE BEEN FAILED BY US AND IT’S OUR RESPONSIBILITY TO SEE THAT WRONG RIGHTED. WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE IF THEY’RE TRAITORS TO THE CROWN - THE CROWN CAN FORGIVE THEM. 

And I think this is the moment that something really snaps into place for James, because he’s lived his life knowing his preferences aren’t accepted, that he is technically betraying his crown and country simply for being, and here is Thomas - and I do imagine James knows Thomas fucks men because as i’ve said before there’s no real reason for Thomas to be hiding it? 

SO ANYWAY he’s having a small breakdown during dinner while Thomas is arguing with his father and Alfred Hamilton is being a RIGHT CLASS GRADE A MOTHER FUCKING FORK DISASTER. And James just. He snaps. He gingermcfucking snaps because THOMAS. THOMAS believes in forgiveness and he BELONGS in this house with these people 

Because in this house, with these people, is where he belongs, and there’s no way he’s gonna let Alfred Hamilton talk to HIS FAMILY like that lmao. 

someone should be willing to defend it.

So anyway then they smooch and then they fall even MORE in love because Thomas IS where James belongs and someone is standing up forThomas in a way HE’S never had before. And then. God then everything falls apart but in the end they do survive, they both survive, and at the end of all things, they find each other again and just...listen i’ve written so much about the finale lmao. but this truly sums it up

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Miranda:

Honestly I always wanted to see Max and Miranda interact, or Miranda and Hal. Like can you imagine, more than anything else, Hal and Miranda teaming up to absolutely destroy James Mc-fucking-Graw? 

Iconique. 

And Max and Miranda I just feel like would at first have SUCH hostility towards each other, but I feel like they could bond over living in the shadows, and what you sacrifice to do that.

Thomas:

ANNE MC-FUCKING-BONNY

I just really get the feeling that Thomas and Anne would be absolute besties and would get along like a fucking house on fire. And maybe actually set the house on fire. Thomas is SO open and Anne is so closed off and you would never think it would work but it does for some reason and they just. Are besties. End of.

I also think he and Madi would have a really interesting and fun relationship with Thomas once they got to know each other. They are extremely similar characters in their core ideologies and feelings about the people they view as their kin. I think they would definitely butt heads over a lot of things but I think they would also both understand that to make an omlette you have to break a few very hard skulls. 

They both try to understand where others are coming from, and that core curiosity is I think what would be so fun to explore with them. 

My unpopular opinion about this character

Miranda:

Miranda is Silver’s true parallel in the series and there’s not really anything anyone can do to change my mind I have proof. They’re literally the exact same character except her anger gets her killed because she’s a woman.

(ME? BITTER? Like milkweed.)

But even beyond that, like...listen there is a whole list of parallels in things they do, how they think, how they act when endangered or when put to a choice, who they chose, how they choose...

My unpopular opinion I suppose is that Miranda never understood James’ true motivations, because she always desired to return, whereas returning to civilization was never going to be possible for James. (And, that James never understood her, as a corollary.)

Thomas:

I’M REALLY SORRY I’M GONNA TALK ABOUT THE EXACT THING YOU DID BUT FROM THE OTHER END LMAO. I’m a trash human.

Edit: I went back over this with a fine tooth comb, and reworded/changed a bit of my opinion in this post. I still think that there’s clear indicators for Thomas changing from the first time we meet him to where I think he would be in the finale, but also that like, he was born, grew up, was supported by and lived in a colonialist system and that those things are almost impossible to throw off when they’re so ingrained in your own privilege.

So my unpopular opinion is that viewing Thomas as a supporter of colonialism throughout his arc ignores the character development we’re shown. 

I absolutely agree that in the beginning he is aligning with colonial views even as he seeks to change them, but after the hanging date with James we see a huge shift in his view about what's wrong with Nassau. He basically looks at the whole situation with the pirate being hung and says 

 By the time he’s come up with the pardons I think it’s clear he’s seen that the way England does things is wrong. 

James says that Thomas believes England needs to systemically rethink itself in 2x03 and that the pardons were a way to seek to change England entirely in his talk with Rogers. 

We’re shown his character move away from the colonialist views he started with, even in London. He recognizes they’re a problem and is trying to figure out a way to fix them.

Now, do I think that he still had room to grow? For sure. Just like James, he has only just begun the journey. 

But I think framing his entire character in London as a static upholder of colonialism ignores a lot of the real character growth were given in the 15 minutes he's on screen. We have five scenes with him and in every one his character has changed and grown - and I think that's one of the things that I love most about him is that when he's shown he's wrong he actively tries to correct himself rather than doubling down like Guthrie or Peter or Silver, or a dozen other characters. Or even James sometimes. 

The beautiful thing about Thomas's character to me is how fluid and open to change he is and I think viewing him as merely a colonial agent or stuck in colonial thinking tends to ignore that part of his character completely. 

ALSO I think there is this false dichotomy of thinking that a revolutionary character can only be someone intent on tearing down the system. That ISN’T true and just because you’re working from inside the system doesn’t mean you support it. Thinking like that is exactly how you get shit like today, where people say we shouldn’t participate in government because it’s broken and the only way to move forward is to tear things down completely. 

/end rant <3

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

MIRANDA LIVES. MIRANDA CONFIRMED TRANS. 

THOMAS MORE SCREENTIME WHEN!! THOMAS HAVING DIALOGUE OR MOMENTS THAT ARE SHOWN TO BE THROUGH HIS ACTUAL LENS AND NOT SOMEONE’S MEMORIES OR STORY. 

GIVE THOMAS AGENCY BLACK SAILS CHALLENGE.

I mean tbh, I would love to rewrite the whole damn thing but my biggest things are that Miranda doesn’t die, and is given a chance to choose her own ending - maybe she decides to stay in Charlestown! Or goes to Boston at the end, when Jack goes to visit Guthrie!

And that Thomas got some scene - ANY scene - that was shown through his own eyes. We only see him in Miranda and James’ flashbacks, or Silver’s story. We never actually hear him speak through his own words and that is like, the biggest tragedy of Black Sails, that so many characters(Thomas, Madi, Flint, even Anne to a degree) are denied the agency of their own story through the narrative itself.

Also shame farm what shame farm in this house James Oglethorpe is represented with historical accuracy and Thomas has been working alongside him to keep Georgia a slavery free colony,, they’ve been reducing the prison populations in London, and he’s basically got an army of radicals ready to go when his sexy pirate husband returns from war.

Listen there’s no shame in asking me to write more than the 4500 words I’ve already written today about Black Sails Characters.

[capriccio-con-espressione]

Possession

Genre: Smut

Warning: Sub!Kun, Dom!Reader, Profanity, Hair pulling, Semi-public handjob/oral sex (male receiving), Intense Degradation, Face slapping, Edging, Spanking

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: 

In celebration of WayV’s new comeback, I decided to bring some fucked-out subby Kun back in the scene again after some editing, to punish him for making me suffer from his visuals ugh

Originally intended to make it just a short blurb, but I kinda went overboard. The power Kun holds lmao

The degradation and insult are a bit intense, you’ve been warned, but of course aftercare is included. This is the result of mental breakdown due to Dom Kuntent overload in the fandom. The world deserves more delicious Sub Kuntent. Period.

Oh and last but not least, this smut is inspired by this gif. I am not gonna include it here directly because I will certainly get fl**ged. Anyways enjoy!

  Locking the door of the fitting room, you immediately slammed your lips into Kun's after pinning him to the ground, your movements getting rougher second by second. Somehow the gawking gazes and praises from the photoshoot staff have turned your sweet cutie into a cocky brat, confidence overflowing in him as he shamelessly boasted his unprecedented coquettish charms to anyone else but you. Triggered, you bit on his lip, and invaded his gasping mouth with your aggressive tongue, claiming your property.

  "Forgot who you belong to?" You demanded, glaring down at him as the slick string connecting both your lips proudly circumstantiated your dominance.

  "No I was just being friendly! I-mmf-" His defense was muffled by your intruding lips again.

  "Friendly? So necessary of you to ask that new stylist to fix the waistband of your slacks for you while you could've checked it yourself in that damn mirror at the site! And then you even dared to flex your abs in front of her when she did her job? So fucking friendly!" Kun winced at your firm tug on his hair and your nibble on the base of his neck, you didn't care about messing up his hairstyle since his shooting was over.

   "And all the sweet-talking to the other staff? Too legion to list them all! You must've let your filthy dickhead get the best of you huh?" You crept your hand under his waistband to squeeze his shaft, earning gasps after gasps from him.

  "I w-was just trying to break the ice..ahh...it was so a-awkward…" Kun's explanation for himself seemed pitiful now with his moans constantly cutting in between.

  "There are way too many ways other than flirting to break the ice, fuckboy. Flaunting your abs must have granted you some extra hormones to act up right in front of my damn face, right?" You pulled the checkered jacket down his shoulders, then slid it off his arms. 

  "Since exposing your flesh switches on your bad boy mode this much, I should strip more off you and properly tame you…until you are a humiliated mess begging me to stop." You chuckled as you lowered his pants, before grabbing a handful of his crotch then starting to caress it through his boxers. "Say, are you a bad boy by making mistress this mad?" You inquire the question you often include in your bedroom playtime, since from his response to it you can see if he’s in his submissive bad boy headspace or not. 

  "No, mmm-am not." Despite the stimuli building up Kun still managed a cheeky grin, showing his liking toward whatever you were intending. “Why so serious, when I was just-ahh!”

  Kun's retort was cut off by a slap across his face. "Still don't wanna admit how bad you've been? Looks like I'll have to keep teasing you instead of giving you what you want..." You darkly smirked as your hand cradled his jawline, fingers squeezing his cheeks so he could utter nothing but whiny whimpers, while your other hand continued to fondle his rock-hard balls and shaft strained inside the fabric, the tension too much for him to take.

  "Now answer me again, better wisely this time, are you a bad little sleazeboy or not?" You pumped his cock generously while releasing your grip on his cheeks.

  “Mmmf...yes I’ve been a sleazy little slut...so bad...mistress please stop punishing me…"

  Usually you would keep him clothed for much longer and tease him until he lost count of how many times he had begged, but since semi-public sex like this always excite you and minimize your patience, you were a bit too eager to get the real thing going 

  "Then is my slutty fucktoy sorry for having fun with other people blatantly without mistress' permission?" You finally pulled down the boxers to reveal his dripping cock, but with your arms crossed, not doing anything to it unless his response satisfies you.

  "P-please mistress I am sorry...really sorry…"

  You huffed in exaggerated mock disapproval as you flipped him over, draping him over your kneeling form, his bottom straight on your thighs before you inflicted loud smacks on it, erotic moans leaving him as his body tensed up and pressed even harder against you. “You aren’t sincere enough, perhaps you can only learn your lesson by letting other people outside the room overhear your spanking…”

  “No! Please don’t! Ummff-sorry I’ve been such a bad boy! Pleeaase-!” Kun’s tone of voice and facial expressions indicated that he liked this punishment a bit too much, far from what you intended for him. Therefore, you tossed him off back to the ground with a contemptuous look in your eyes.

  You then brushed your fingers along his length at an excruciatingly slow speed. "You don't really convince me to make me forgive you. Looks like I need to milk your remorse out of your dickhead really slowly..."

  "No no no mistress I may be an airy dickhead but I know where my place is for sure...hnngh...please I am terribly sorry for disrespecting you!"

  "How can I trust you to come up with the slightest valid apology possible when this is the only nerve bundle on you that is still properly processing right now?" You squeezed his leaking shaft, emphasizing your dismissive words. "You can't even think straight with your pathetic little airhead…"

  Kun felt the knot in his lower abdomen began to tighten at every insult you uttered, but still he managed to try his best to think properly and obey your rules, that is, to replace every pronoun regarding himself with humiliating words.

  "Ahhh...please mistress your stupid disrespectful little manwhore is extremely sorry and remorseful...hahhh...please mistress let this worthless cockhead cum…"

  Seeing Kun's eyes, now glossy with tears and lascivious desperation; his tone of voice, usually held so much authority, now stammering with demeaning words, you were satisfied with how his piercingly confident gaze back at the photoshoot a couple of minutes ago seemed laughable now. "Good boy, looks like you've been trained well." You expressed your approval for his self-degradation with your quickening pumping hand.

  Kun's moans become to get even more incoherent and evident as his pleasure intensified when you began to nibble as well as suck on his sensitive patches of skin, marking up his torso while still fist-fucking his throbbing neediness.

  "I am not the type to hesitate to declare who my possession is, and you should know better." You chuckled as you sucked a dark splotch on his right pectoral near his areola. "You should feel grateful that I didn't do this before the photoshoot, otherwise the photo retoucher is gonna be mad…"

  After marking your territory, your mouth traveled down to where he needed you the most, hastily sucking and slicking it up. Thinking you had full mercy on him, Kun tried to guide your movements, but ended up getting his wrists gripped tightly against his chest.

  "Now you're cocky again, hmm? Even have the gut to order me around with that filthy hand?" You glared and stopped completely, watching him gradually faltering due to the sense of loss.

  "No mistress I am not being cocky...I just...ohh...your mouth...hfff...feels too good...I can't help it...please I am begging you…"

  "Punishment is always punishment no matter what, no rules should be violated even if I am easy on you." You teasingly licked a stripe along his length. "Apologize and beg with some real earnestness. We don't have much time here before everyone is suspicious of us. If you fail to impress me I will make you walk out of here sporting that pathetic hard-on of yours and embarrass yourself."

  Kun struggled and squirmed, but soon figured that there is no use defending his last bit of self-esteem because from his past experience he learned that you are a woman of your word, in a hard way. 

  "Mistress your dumb filthy-minded slut is... really apologetic for being stupid...by mistaking the line between friendly and flirty...please...mmfff...mistress...your airheaded fuckboy is begging for forgiveness ...mmmm...please grant your mindless toy...who knows no manners... the permission to cum...pleeaaase…" 

  Even though his last plea dragged on, indicating his absolute desperation to end the ordeal, still the idea of getting caught with his pants down somehow excited him even more.

  You bobbed your head generously along his trembling form upon hearing his words. "You promise not to ever let your nasty hormones take over you again?" You still wanted to milk more degradation out of him.

  "Yes mistress...your shameless brat has learned the lesson......never gonna misbehave ever again...please...cum…"

  Noticing he was at the verge of breaking, you planted a reassuring kiss on his cheek which was blushing hotly with prolonged denied yearning, and immediately went down again to work him up along with your hands to finally allow the earth-shattering climax that he desired so much.

  "That's my good beautiful boy...relax and take deep breaths baby...I am here for you...you did so well…" You comforted your tortured boy with reassuring praises, giving him the delicate little touches, as well as some light-hearted pecks, that always calmed him down. After observing his breathing pattern had returned to normal and making sure that he was okay, you proceeded to clean up and gave him his casual wear, helping him to recover from the intense orgasmic haze and ready him for reality again, adorning the process with smiley eye-contacts, and encouraging words of how much your boy means to you.

  "Are you really okay with what I did just now babe?" You attempted to confirm his well-being once more before opening the door to the public, worried if there were any signs of distress.

  "You are definitely making it up to me with lots of cuddles when we're home, y/n." Kun pouts, feigning resentment in the cutest way you had never seen in your whole life before that warmed your heart. 

  "But," He continued with that adorable smile that never failed to make your heart flutter, as you couldn't help but lovingly pinch and caress his cheek. "I love every second of it. The way how you claimed me yours, so possessive, so hot…I am all yours..." His gaze became dreamily hooded as he placed a soft kiss on your lips. You shyly flinched a little at this sudden intimacy out of the blue and got flustered, sharply contrasting your dominant behavior earlier.

  "Uhm...right. I love you too, my precious prized pretty boy." You sweetly giggled as you both left the intense yet so tantalizingly memorable session behind that soon closed door, anticipating the private aftercare bliss awaiting ahead for you, proving that the aggressively possessive side and seemingly contradictory sweetly attentive side of you can coexist.

[bagilgulhaze]

MAYBE ITS BECAUSE, RADFEM CIRCLES ARE INHERENTLY ANTI FEMME/BUTCH CULTURE? SCREAAAAM. IMAGINE HATING TRANS WOMEN SO MUCH THAT YOU DONT CARE THAT IDEOLOGY YOU ASSOCIATE YOURSELF WITH DOESN'T FALL IN LINE WITH THE WAY YOU IDENTIFY ("FEMME'OK LMAO)

1. Feminine women using make up etc aren't oppressed by ACTUALLY GNC women. And bc you're dumb and white and cis and radfem, there isn't point of saying how hyper feminine behaviour is associated often with the presentation of certain WOC, lower socio economic class women, and TRANS women. Who are then VILIFIED by TERFS (mainly, trans women) for "LITERALLY cooperating with the patriarchy for putting make up on or having long acrylyc nails or whatsoever". Because you wouldn't care about any of that.

The fakes you call radfem butches aren't doing it because they're misogynistic femme oppressing butches. "Gender nonconformity" is praised, in white women, in cis women, and when it's just the right amount to still be aactually very conforming, and not, you know, "actually crazy dysphoric man-copying butch". Like, again. The entire Radfem agenda !?

How can you be femme when it sees the femme and butch identities for those reasons as sexist heterosexuality emulating and regressive! With complete disregard to other cultures of color. The entire radfe ideology is informed by racism and classism stated as neutral things. What a woman is, is completely based on those standards in which everyone is judged. Not to talk about, of course, trans women who are outright shunned, not secretly, and ignored from the "female experience" (and prosecuted).

Then ignoring how often all those things appear together in butch/femme spaces (butch femme culture as something that was formed in the bar scene with lower class communities of color?! Hello!? Even around the world wherever this culture naturally was adopted its usually not white and lower class and very trans inclusive, from my experience).

2. And by everyone who doesn't paste the word feminist over it and tries to explain it that way, it's just treated as trashy, and less enlightened and progressive to appear hyper feminine by the same women who also conform to femininity, white cis middle upper class femininity that registers in many cultures as less hyper feminine, so they get creds for being more GNC while being AS gender conforming with their make up-less face and wide clothes and short but still feminine haircuts, just by their cultures standards.... which again, the radfem agenda is informed by since it's made out of white upper middle class cis women.

Like, yeah, my mom totally outside of radfem circles and ideaology, get talked down to at work despite being the manager that makes most profit compared to her male counterparts but also compared to her white, cishet, pants wearing no make up on no heels female counterpart. They treat her like a little girl and with less respect and unfairly dismiss her often. Is it because she puts make up on and is feminine and being feminine, as a cis woman gets you discriminated ? no. It's because she is VISIBLY. BROWN. And her hyper feminine appearance doesnt assimilate to ashkenazi white femininity standards and seen as REGRESSIVE. YOU ALL are SO thick. If my mom was ACTUALLY GNC by ashkie standards or so was her female coworker? They would get SHIT for it.

3. Those bitches you call butch bc they dont put make up on or whatever aren't butches, and if they're cis "butches" who care more about hating trans women then being in spaces that respect them, then definitely those places dont praise them, if a butch dare be dysphoric, she is mentally I'll. This isn't a valid experience. If a butch binds and buzz her hair and packs shes trying to be a man. What's wrong with your vagina? Why are you trying to be a man? Its internalized misogyny. No, terfs spaces dont praise butches, nor do they praise femmes (neither do you it seems, by the way you view those topics) because they're inherently anti butch/femme culture.

4. Butch/femme spaces I've been to, have been constantly the most accepting to hyper (brown&black, lower class, in your face) femininity lol. Whenever you see a space with actual butches you would look around and see lesbians and bi women with crop tops and bright red lipstick and long neon acrylic nails who wrap around their butches. It's the queer spaces I get LEAST looks for being a femme, because it's not seen as anti-queer straight or problematic and unattractive. There isn't a sense of superiority from white western-GNC queers that look down at it (and would, admittedly, look down at the butches too.but they're not regressive for appearing feminine but usually for adopting mannerisms associated with brown and lower class people (men). As the femmes do with mannerism of women... ) so as you can see... even not radfem spaces it's still about racism, and classism.

5. And these are just about the two topics radfem dont claim proudly to exclude (lower class and woc). Trans women, who's safety usually depends on passing but also again, are held to much higher standard of femininity in order to conform and cant walk with sweatpants, no make up and sneakers and be as conforming as a cis white lady (...thin. did I mention thin lol all connects doesnt it...amazing how it's not femephobia on every aspect) would, isn't more backwards and regressive for doing any of that but again lost fight bc shes just another "man" who is part of the patriarchy, which is even worse than "females" who are co operating with it.

Edit: sex workers too. Apply to all of it. Same criticism but not that terfs pretend to care about them either.

[goodlesson]

got tagged by the ever wonderful @fortiesbucky to answer 73 (!!!!) questions. since i’m a lil wine drunk and waiting for my pokemon game to download i figured why not, let’s do it!!! here goes nothing. my answers are under the cut!

this is a ridiculous undertaking but i’ll tag some ppl i guess. if you have some time to kill....go for it! @dansmlth @mabelmcbae @mirandabeach @the-best-of-what-we-had-youknow @stormerforweekes @unseenpolarstars

on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? like a 4?? we’re in the middle of a global pandemic (Yikes) but my big job interview is finally over with and it went really well so i guess that’s kind of exciting!

describe yourself in a hashtag? #DoItForDua

if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? i’m ace let’s bake a cake together instead (looking @ u dan bastille)

if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? this is not a musical despite the copious amounts of terrible singing

what’s one thing people don’t know about you? i WILL cry when ur least expecting it 

what’s your wake up ritual? make coffee/breakfast, mess around on tumblr for a bit and catch up on messages from friends, then log on to start work at nine

what’s your go to bed ritual? i’ve been playing animal crossing for like an hour before bed every night. that’s about it

what’s your favorite time of day? morning after i’ve had my coffee and i have my one hour of motivation to do things sxkljsdf

your go to for having a good laugh? vines that cured my depression compilations on youtube

dream country to visit? oh this is a hard one!! would love to go to the UK someday

what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? my 13th bday party when my mom got all of my friends together to surprise me 🥺

heels or flats/sneakers? converse baby

vintage or new? new. i’m not trendy or skinny enough to pull off vintage anything

who do you want to write your obituary? anyone except my mother

style icon? when dua lipa went through that phase of wearing sweatpants and bras onstage....yeah i vibe w/ that

what are three things you cannot live without? music, my hydroflask, and my electric blanket

what’s one ingredient you put in everything? GARLIC

what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? listen...i really just wanna hang out with dan smith. also niall from 1d. and hm....maybe....ok this is a weird answer but marina keegan. she died at 22 after graduating from yale and her book literally changed my life

what’s your biggest fear in life? love & intimacy oop

window or aisle seat? window

what’s your current tv obsession? too hot to handle is the funniest thing i’ve ever seen

favorite app? rn i’m using discord a lot. also instagram

secret talent? i know every word to every cover the glee cast ever did

most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? studying abroad in ecuador!

how would you define yourself in three words? positive, introverted, and....and.....maybe simple? (in the sense that i’m ok with just living a life without fancy things or huge ambitions)

favorite piece of clothing you own? my fuzzy north face fleece jacket!

a must have clothing item that everyone should have? buy yourself a good rain jacket pls just do it

a superpower you would want? being an empath would be cool

what’s inspiring you in life right now? my friends!!! i have so many ppl to talk to rn and staying connected with them is really keeping me going

best piece of advice you’ve received? everything works out in the end, don’t stress about what you can’t control

best advice you’d give your teenage self? just tell ppl you aren’t straight it really isn’t a big deal

a book everyone should read? out east by john glynn

what would you like to be remembered for? loving my friends and writing some stuff that maybe impacted a few ppl

how do you define beauty? kindness! openness!

what do you love most about your body? my smile i guess?

best way to take a rest/decompress? listening to music, wasting time on the internet

favorite place to view art? ....online?

if your life was a song, what would the title be? Avoiding Intimacy 

if you could master one instrument, what would it be? guitar

if you had a tattoo, where would it be? i’ve been thinking about this lately. probably on the inside of my arm somewhere?

dolphins or koalas? DOLPHINS (are fish! no they aren’t. yeah they are. just cuz they live in water doesn’t mean they’re fish!)

what’s your spirit animal? penguin

best gift you’ve ever received? my boss surprising me with those brownies yesterday was pretty cool

best gift you’ve given? i made my best friend in college this little jar full of our inside jokes written on little slips of paper. i thought it was pretty cute

what’s your favorite board game? rummikub, life, cards against humanity

what’s your favorite color? yellow

least favorite color? brown

diamond or pearls? diamonds

drugstore makeup or designer? drugstore

blow-dry or air-dry? blowdry (with a diffuser of course)

pilates or yoga? neither wtf do i look like a flexible person to u

coffee or tea? coffee

what’s the weirdest word in the english language? my roommates and i were playing that avocado smash game a few nights ago and now the word ‘avocado’ will never sound correct ever again

dark chocolate or milk chocolate? dark chocolate

stairs or elevators? elevators (i’m lazy)

summer or winter? summer!

you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? BAGELS

a dessert you don’t like? anything with a jelly or creamy/custardy filling

a skill you’re working on mastering? playing the guitar

best thing to happen to you today? my interview went really well!!!

worst thing to happen to you today? i had like three crazy stress dreams about said interview so i was exhausted all day lol

best compliment you’ve ever received? ‘your smile just lights up a room’ 🤧

favorite smell? vanilla

hugs or kisses? I WUV HUGZ

if you made a documentary, would it be about? how the portrayal of sex in modern pop culture affects our views of love and romance and intimacy in negative and unrealistic ways!!!!

last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? bitch every livestream dan bastille does makes me tear up

lipstick or lipgloss? the only correct answer is CHAPSTICK

sweet or savory? sweet

girl crush? dua lipa and it’s not a girl crush i full on fuckin LOVE HER

how do you know you’re in love? don’t ask me this

a song you can listen to on repeat? anything by bastille

if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? would love to be a cat just chillin on the ground someday

what are you most excited for about this time in your life? normally i’d say all the concerts i have coming up lmao screw you corona

[wanderingpages]

What’s your hot take on actually using weird descriptions in writing to imply that mans penis is erect

Haha u have a way w words. I like that.

I don’t care for it much as long as it makes sense? Probably wouldn’t read it all hot and bothered with such words cus irl i don’t use words like “silk rod” or the likes, but i guess it be like that sometimes.

Idk in ceo au, Jude literally calls cardan a pussy and tells him to eat her ass (via text) and cardan calls her out later when she couldn’t even say “frenched my pussy” but Jude is still a naive girl thirsting after her boss, keyword: naive. She’s kinda too big for her body in a way and says things she can’t even come to terms with sometimes, causing her to do stuff like ignore her boss and turn her phone off or use other people as mediator. So she can think it, IMO but if she says it she’s stillokay character wise to be embarrassed?

I think if ur big enough to use words like that in every day conversation, to suddenly switch up and make things flowery during sex scenes seems just a little off? Like i do find myself brushing over smut that’s either uses way too clinical words or smut that uses idioms like “her flower” and his “manhood”

For jmau they’re really just figuring things out so i usually find that i don’t have to say it, you can kinda pick up what I’m putting down. In ceo au, cardans just straight up gonna say shit like “ur pussy, my cock” etc and Jude’s gonna think it but cardan would manage to coax her to say it. Dark au, i haven’t written anything yet but i know for a fact cardan would probs throw in harsher words and phrasing’s along there while Jude would be more demure maybe by either not really saying it but alluding to it, or using it less liberally and occasionally thinking it. Even writing one shots, depending on who’s saying what and how they’re characterized, i either never really mention it, or i have cardan (if he’s being a lil dark) vocalize it like at least once lmao

Goddam. another Ted talk just to tell u it depends on the character but i personally would never use that clinical or metaphorical stuff. It is what it is. I ain’t got time to unravel ten layers of purple prose just to understand dude is all up in her pussy, boi

[rockettransman]

Rocketman Watch #4 Thoughts

i have so many MORE thoughts can you believe it wow here we go

(i wrote these as i watched it so they’re in order im p sure)

man, his intro monologue during group therapy is just as gripping as it was when I first watched it. And the transition to the bitch is back is so fuckin good. My palms are sweating.

There’s some commentary about forgiving and loving your inner/past child, but I don’t have the words for it at this moment. In the beginning he’s staring down, confused and scowling at his child self, but at the end, he embraces him in a way his father and loved ones never did.

Was he in therapy/rehab WHILE touring and doing music? Stomping into the room in his regalia would have me believe so. I know group therapy was a medium for storytelling. Was it just signaling the very beginning of his story, because we go through different stages through his actions and clothing changes?

Lmao I imagine it must take some pretty cool parents to allow their, like, six or seven year old child to be in this movie. He said bitch so many times.

Took me a hot second to realize the orchestra he’s conducting is playing Rocket Man. The violins are so pretty. Imagine being picked to be in the orchestra on set and getting smile up at the tiny little kid who played Elton. My heart would absolutely swell seeing a little kid being so fantastic at this really intense job.

Kit Connor did amazing in his role. He’s fifteen and he’s already done so much! Imagine growing up knowing you played Elton John as a kid. Getting to work alongside him and his husband and the dozens of incredible actors. Wowie. I’d never shut up about it.

I LOVE how 12 year old Elton is playing the piano SO HARD and is trying to rock out as hard as he can while playing classical music. The boy wanna ROCK dammit.

HE GLANCED UP THE TINIEST BIT WHEN THE MAN ASKED IF ANYONE HAD A FAG (slang for cigarette)

SATURDAY NIGHTS ALRIGHT GIVES ME CONSTANT CHILLS FROM THE START TO FINISH

WOOOW SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD ELTON IS CUTE AS HEEELLLL. The hair, glasses, and front tooth gap fit Taron so well. Goddamn I hope I look like 17 year old Elton some day.

The choreography for this number is absolutely breathtaking. You have to get that many people all in sync! We followed Elton running through the crowd and AAHHH it was a lot! The athleticism! And they did it in the rain! Wow I’m blow away.

Elton is JAMMIN in the back of the stage. It’s really sweet to see his smile and enthusiasm and his brain thinking and working.

That guy in the back peed a LOT lmao

I was wondering where thank you for all of your loving came in.

Charlie Rowe plays Ray Williams, and he also plays LEO ROTH from Red Band Society!!! The first time I watched the movie, I KNEW him from somewhere, but I couldn’t place it and it was driving me nuts. Man. RBS was a big crutch during the worst lows of my ED. Had no idea he was English.

Love to see how shy Elton was as a teenager. It’s a hot ass mood. Also, those silk scarves? Ascots? idk but they’re a LOOK.

“One frothy coffee, no froth.”

The acquaintances-to-best-friends montage set to Border Song *chefs kiss*

Rock And Roll Madonna Is A Perfect Song Send Tweet

Lmao Elton is NOT phased at all when he gets accused of being gay. He’s just like. “Nah. I’m like. Not.” Not overly defensive and surprised, like I’m sure other people would be lmaooo

STUMBLING HOME DRUNK WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND IS A MILESTONE IN TEENAGEHOOD!!!!!!!

“You are a ssSSHHIIIITT HOT piano player—”

So delicate of Bernie the way he politely denied a kiss from him. It wasn’t weird or tense at all. Just a gentle “love you, but not that way. It’s okay” Some people may not be able to handle it that well even today.

Taron’s got nice thighs. That robe & underwear getup is a nice look.

Love love LOVE hearing him experiment with Your Song on the piano to find a melody that worked.

Honestly what the shit do these songs even mean. Bernie sometimes these words don’t make any sense. Don’t worry, they still slap. “See I’ve forgotten if they’re green or they’re blue” like what

AMOREENA IS A PERFECT SONG SEND TWEET

Doug flirting with Bernie makes me snort every time. “Oh, really? That’s.. cool.”

THE TROUBADOUR OUTFIT IS GOOD AS SHIT!!!!!!!!

“NO, BERNIE. YOU ARE UNDERREACTING.”

Taron was right. The overalls do make his ass look massive.

A week ago before this movie I was sick and fuckin TIRED of crocodile rock but now I can’t get enough of it. The movie transformed a lot of old songs I was sick of for me.

Imagine being a kind of shy, nervous kid, terrified to go on stage, but two and a half minutes later the entire venue is LOSING IT because they love the jam YOU WROTE. how cool for Elton.

I want a best friend platonic cheek kiss :(

Hmmmmm I’m wondering if they used the studio recordings that went on the album for the movie or have different movie-specific recordings. Tiny Dancer sounds a teeny bit different in the movie version.

Goddamn I sure hope Taron got to keep that jacket.

“So you liked the song, then?” “Not as much as the singer” *Elton glances away in gay panic*

LMFAO John said some weird colorful words to Elton that barely made sense and he was like OH FUCK GOTTA KISS HIM GOTTA KISS HIM

I’ve talked so much about the sex scene I don’t need to go on about it here. Go search the rocketman tag on my blog for my extensive gay thoughts about it.

Now I know glasses come OFF during sex

oh oh oh I was wondering where Hercules fell in the movie. I love how the songs he’s writing or getting notoriety for is played over the transition scenes.

Elton’s hand on his hip, knowing smirk as John enters the studio. “Hello.”

Bernie is like “HELLO are we RECORDING or are y’all gonna FUCK in the CLOSET?”

*vibrating* Honky Cat Honky Cat Honky Cat Honky Cat

Damn, the flowy white button down with the red pants really is a LOOK

The gestures, staring up at each other, leaning into each other, hands on each other’s chests, damn it makes me feel some typa way. Maybe their love WAS good and fun and exciting while they rode the high of everything before it all went so so bad.

Elton searching John’s gaze while he’s talking and looking like he’s not really paying attention, just looking for a kiss on the couch.. GOD I remember the honeymoon phase of my relationships. So much fun.

His dad going “N-Not really my thing.” That was a metaphor for his SEXUALITY TOO, huh.

Damn. He went to his dad’s to come out to him and he never even got to get to that part. He was just like “....nice shoes....” and even after all this time, didn’t show any interest in his music. If he never was into what he did, how could he even talk about being gay? I’m sure during that scene there were a lot of metaphors to sexuality but I didn’t bother to think much about them.

The eyebrow quirk after his dad says “ah—no. Could you make it out to Arthur?” DAMN Elton was like .. “really. This is what’s happening? Okay. Awesome.”

“What do you have to do to get a fucking drink around here, eh?” *cuts to Elton drinking straight from a bottle*

“Elton—” “Elton!”

John saying “don’t you ever put your hands on me” when he was the one who yanked him from the phone booth AND directly after punching him... woof man. What a shitty dude.

Damn, just noticed John talking very quietly and closely to another man right before he goes on and plays Pinball Wizard. Was this the first sign of him having fun with other men when Elton was indisposed?

Pinball Wizard is absolutely intense and loud and fun, but it DOES carry the tone of “god im SO miserable” under it all. You knew Elton wasn’t having fun.

“It is next week.” Jeezus.

LMAO I just caught the “mom, you’re ON my GOWN” when he reluctantly complies to give the Anderson’s a tour.

Damn, flowy, loose dress shirts with the first few buttons undone is a LOOOOK.

How did they do the overdose scene, you think? Surely the pills Taron took had to be like. Empty. Or placebo affect drugs? Idk. He did take a big drink directly after stuffing his mouth with them. I don’t think he spit them out.

God, there is SOMETHING symbolic about how he meets his child self at the bottom of the pool. Rock bottom? Apologizing? Wishing he could be better? Telling him he’ll never be better?

OH I watched a behind the scenes cut about the pool scene, and none of it was CGI. Taron was weighted under his robe and a SCUBA diver was on standby to provide oxygen. The singing and bubbles coming out of his mouth and stuff underwater was all real.

Dying to know about the choreography around the second chorus, about the undressing and twirling and dressing and injection and handing off of the bat and stuff. That sequence was incredible.

Bennie and the Jets. Damn. It fucks. I listened to it almost the entire time on my run today. (Five miles; I felt like garbage the entire time but it was good anyway.) The scene is wild. He’s in the middle of a drug induced haze orgy. He SHOULD be having the time of his life but he’s so goddamn miserable. (Also, the juxtaposition between Chris Fleming’s Bennie and the Jets is so funny.)

Part of the problem was that John never understood Elton. But, Elton broke it off with John, not the other way around like he said it was. He wasn’t the victim in that regard. John did treat him like shit though.

Victim of Love plays right after that lmao

Renate and he aren’t even close when they do the duet to don’t let the sun go down on me. They’re separated in different rooms, mirroring literally how closed off their relationship was.

The shot with them waking up in different rooms.. damn

His shirt is so LOUD I’m going crazy

Watching Taron down that orange juice made me a little nauseous I gotta say

“Not really I’m gAy”

It’s CRAZY to watch Elton and his mom interact at the dinner scene. He gets accosted and accused of so much by his mom, claiming SHE’S the victim of his actions, making it all about HER and then he turns around and does and says the exact same shit to Bernie.

He yells “Oh, don’t be so dramatic!” at Bernie as he gets into a taxi. THE PROJECTION!! THE DEFLECTION!!!!

I know there’s only so much they can put in two hours, but I wish they showed more of Elton’s eating issues. He had bulimia for sixteen years before he got help. It’s Absolutely the Man With Anorexia in me, but seeing that even men deal with eating disorders quells the lonely aching something in me. I feel that much less alone, you know. Eating disorders aren’t a “woman’s disease.”

How do you think they did his hair? A wig adds more hair, not take it away. He didn’t get his hair cut for it did he?

Seeing Elton’s first love fall apart because John was such a selfish, heartless prick in reality makes me sad.

Elton hugs his inner child when he reconciled with everyone in his past. Goddamn. He found peace and forgiveness for himself, who he was, even after all that time.

When Elton asks him not to go, Bernie refuses, saying this is something he had to do on his own. Healing comes from within alone. No one can help you do it. People can guide you, but you have to work at it. It’s fucking lonely sometimes, but it’s so, so worth it.

I used to loathe I’m Still Standing since i heard it so much at work, but the movie changed my entire perspective on it. I love the slow build up as he exits the rehab center. You don’t get thrown into something so happy and fast paced and fun after a cathartic climax you need to drink in. And the pan to his hat with the rainbow stripe to his smile. I get chills every time. Elton feels so right and secure and happy in himself. At first I thought it was a bit cheesy, but accepting your sexuality, especially after all the hell he went through during his life, grappling with unresolved trauma and fear of abandonment, he absolutely should wear it loud and proud. It’s easy to think times are much easier now being gay, and it shouldn’t be such a big deal. Relative to 1975, it is easier. But it doesn’t mean it’s not such a rough personal thing to work through if you’ve been spit on and resented all your life. Being gay, coming out, and accepting and being comfortable with that fact must’ve been such a HUGE milestone in Elton’s recovery and self-esteem.

Love me again after I’m still standing is perfect. The credits make me tear up every time. Jeez. What a good movie. What a good movie. Hit me up if you wanna talk about Rocketman because I absolutely will with you.

[serenagaywaterford]

random thoughts:

jsyk, Serena swam in the place my dog poops. I hope Fred stepped in it. Die Fred.

(spoilers obvs)

NOT. ENOUGH. JANINE. the only time i cheered out the entire 3 episodes was that one glimpse of janine.

I got to see my girl Alma though which was lovely.

OMG. Can... I just... that scene with Emily walking through the hospital was the dumbest fucking, most American stupid scene ever on this show. It was so fucking cheesy and absolutely 10000% unrealistic. Who actually thought it was a good idea? They should be fired. Or sent to go work on Grey’s Anatomy or something. Not even that shitshow aka SVU would do something as painfully cliched and cheesy as that. Firstly, this show is fucking stupid. Okay. If all this shit was happening, Canada would have got like MILLIONS of refugees. Seeing the cops escort some raggedy refugee would be common af. Maybe it’s the baby thing? Still, Canadians aren’t gawkers like that. We also don’t like embarrassing displays like that. It’s so American it hurts.  NOBODY CLAPS LIKE THAT IN A FUCKING HOSPITAL. It’s a quiet place, okay. Also, why don’t any of these doctors have anything better to do? Anyway. I hated that scene so much.

Nick is so boring. So boring. He’s just a wet doughnut. I sorta liked him getting angry at June but also I wish I cared about anything he has to say. Bye Nick Bland. Good riddance.

Lawrence’s one liners? Funny. Lawrence? Disgusting awful psycho. I hate him sfm. 

Fred? Also disgusting. I hate him 10000x more. Everything about him is repulsive. He’s so much worse this season. I hate everything about his entitled, poor me, manpain. I hate hearing about any of his feelings. Fucking die already. I found him interesting enough as an antagonist in the show before but no longer. Redundant.

Beth. Too good for Nick. Too good for this world.

Too much staring. I AM SO SICK OF IT. It wastes time. Is redundant af at this point. I’m bored. Stop it.

Moss... um. Honey. I love you but... what the fuck was up with all the over-acting? 302 seemed particularly bad. Like I just can’t take it anymore. Who directed 302? They should be fired too for making her do that. Also, lady from Transparent, what the fuck was up with her acting?

Luke is useless. Like, I get it. I get why he’s a huge damp sulkbaby but I mean. I don’t want to see it? I’d rather just not see him at all cos literally I can’t recall a scene of him not being fucking useless or ignorant. Or half-assing it. I want to like Luke, honestly. But I just... don’t. I love the shit outta Moira and Erin, and I adored Moira/Emily interactions. But Luke? Miss me with his manpain.

Once again, I hate Lawrence. He is no good. He’s so fucking creepy and gross. I do not understand why people like him? And I don’t mean, “I don’t know why people like this character.” I mean, “I don’t understand why people like this person.” As a character, sure, he’s interesting and revolting and does his role well. He’s even got some funny lines and Whitford has great delivery. I mean these people who LIKE HIM. As a person. They think he’s great and a good guy. I don’t get it. Are we watching the same show? He’s a great character and a terrible person. That said, he’s still a dude and I’m not about to say he’s such a great character that I want to know all about him. Nah, bros. I wanna know all about Emily, Moira, Serena, Janine, Alma... and June I suppose but we already have quite enough of her. I don’t care about Lawrence’s backstory or emotional turmoil. I don’t need his perspective cos I’ve seen it before, I know it already. It’s in so many movies, books, and TV. So, he may be a well-written character but he’s not a fascinating one. If we wanna dig around in the psyches of bad people, Serena and Lydia are far more fascinating cos bad women’s stories are so much rarer to explore in any depth.

So, June got her feet lashed to shit again. And then she’s just walking around like no biggie next scene? Did the writers forget the first season when June couldn’t walk at all? All I’m asking is a bit of a limp?

June going straight to the house that just housed the handmaid that ran away with June’s baby seems... well, like complete bullshit. Never.

SERENA ISN’T WEARING HER WEDDING BAND. She’s done. She hates that man and I hate the fact everyone is pushing her to just get over it. Fred... is horrible in literally every single way. Every. Single. Way. (And sure Serena is horrible in some ways, but not nearly the same ways as Fred.) I just want Serena to be free of him. I want her and June to murder his ass. Graphically. That is the only violence I want to see on this show in the future. OMG, I can’t actually explain how much I hate him and I vomit in my mouth thinking about Serena having to get back with him. Even if I know she has to in order to survive. Ugh. 

UM. Okay, the “blood against the snow” bit was really interesting. I don’t recall Offred saying that in the book but Atwood brings it up often when talking about red. It was clever to include her own words, just like last season with the “men are afraid women will laugh at them...” bit.

But speaking of weird inclusions: Lawrence reciting book!Offred’s line about how easy is it to invent a humanity for anyone. It was curious they had Lawrence saying that to June, whereas it’s Offred in the book thinking that about the Commander.  “He was not a monster, to her. Probably he had some endearing trait: he whistled, offkey, in the shower, he had a yen for truffles, he called his dog Liebchen and made it sit up for little pieces of raw steak. How easy it is to invent a humanity, for anyone at all. What an available temptation.”

My wife, when Nick showed up in 303: “Oh, this prick again!” Just out of nowhere cos we don’t talk about fandom shit. She has no idea the extent of my sick obsession with this show. She doesn’t know how much I loathe Nick lol. She’s completely casual and even she can’t stand Nick. Which is so lovely. And then when he was yapping about going to the front, she just muttered, “Hopefully he’ll die there.”

OH MY GOD. I HATE MEN. That whole Commanders meeting scene made me want to throw up multiple times. It started with the words “shipment of females” and just got progressively worse with every passing second.

Except... LMAO. June: *sees Fred at a meeting* Fred: Hello. June: Hey you see Serena? How’s Serena? Is Serena okay? Serena’s tough. She’s great. She’ll be okay. I love her. *proceeds to do the world’s worst cringe-inducing seduction* I think on some level even Fred knows it’s bullshit.

I love comparing June’s seduction of Fred to her seduction of Serena. They’re very interesting contrasts. She’s so painfully fake with Fred. And only sort of insincere at times with Serena. 

Man, Sylvia is a dick lol. LOOK RICHMOND IS HARD ENOUGH TO GET ACROSS WITHOUT YOUR LIME GREEN CAR BLOCKING THE ONE MOVING LANE OF TRAFFIC!!!!!! Jokes aside... I actually really liked that scene of Emily finally calling her. That was touching and the closest I came to actually getting sniffly.  Actually no. Traffic on Richmond is no joke. I’m not kidding. That was a dick move, Sylvia. LOL.

June saying Nichole gets her politicianess thing from Serena absolutely fucking slayed me. I don’t even care if she was emotionally manipulating her af, it seemed genuine in parts of that convo. TWO MOMMIES. June used her flashback!June voice at one point. Honestly, these two actresses run this town.  You can tell how broken Serena is tho cos she’s oblivious to how manipulative June is being. She’s been aware in the past as soon as June does her whole “Say nice thing, bond over babies, ask for something” method and called her on it. It’s June’s only trick. It’s transparent af. And Serena knows it. Yet, she seems completely wooed now and not at all suspicious. So, when she gets her wits together again, I suspect Serena won’t be so malleable.

I’ve said a bunch of stuff about June/Serena stuff in my tag rants so I won’t repeat it. I just fell in love with it all.

PRAISE BE!!! We didn’t actually have to see a Nick/June sex scene. Behold His miracle! I was so relieved. And then... curiously they continued that love-theme-y music all the way over into Serena’s scene with June and that was not a coincidence.

I know people really like that Boomtown Rats song being the music to the fire... And it’s a jam. But... it’s about a real school shooting and I feel like that’s just a little... off? (Not to mention Tori Amos’ version is better, imo.) I mean, okay, I did some drama courses in university and I did a thing about that song so I researched it all and it just to me doesn’t fit at all. A 16-year-old girl shot up an elementary school. And somehow, call me crazy, but that’s completely inappropriate to use in this scene. I get female rage, etc etc. I get they didn’t want to go super obvious and use a song about burning houses. But considering how EXCELLENT a song they chose for 3x03 with that Roy Harper track you’d think they’d find something better for the bed/house burning. Not only that but the motive for Spencer was ... literally nothing. She didn’t like Mondays and thought it would be fun to kill a bunch of kids--which is the complete opposite of Serena’s motivations. It just devalues it.

I want more of Emily’s journey. This is the first time I’ve actually been interested in Emily tbh. And Clea Duvall is a treasure.

I want a Moira/Emily BROTP. Honestly Moira just seems like the best friend anybody could have?

WHY IS NICK A COMMANDER?! WTF????? Was I just not listening carefully enough? Is he? Cos I don’t really pay attention when he’s onscreen tbh and the wifey was like “Why’s this guy a commander now?” And I was like, “What do you mean he’s a commander?” Honestly, Nick is just like a piece of furniture. I barely notice him onscreen lol. Okay, this has nothing to do with my dislike of him. It honestly does not make any sense. We saw that other Commander only got promoted because his wife got pregnant. WHY THE FUCK WOULD THEY PROMOTE NICK? What on god’s green earth has he EVER fucking done well? Why the shitting hell would they promote a Guardian who, under his watch, has had one handmaid kill herself, another one escape/”get kidnapped”, wife cheat on him then get executed, allow a BABY to get kidnapped, the house get burned down????? All those things seem like Very Bad things and put all together seem like something that would put him on the Wall for being such a shitty employee rather than someone who deserves MORE responsibility. There’s literally no reason to make him a Commander. Just conscript him to the Chicago front. You don’t need a reason. He’s a grunt. Eye or not. I DO NOT GET IT. Fred gets demoted and Nick gets promoted? Nahhhhh mans. Not buying it.

So little Nick. I love it. I want zero Nick, but this’ll do. I’ll even put up with him being a Commander (LMAO) if it means he goes away for a while.

Lawrence calling out June’s terrible seduction technique (it is really bad), and calling Fred stupid = :} 

OK BACK TO THE BURNING WATERFORD HOUSE... i cannot abide how SLOW June is ALL. THE. FUCKING. TIME. Like, she shows up in Serena’s little pyromaniacal bedroom inferno and is like “COME ON!” and pulls her out of the room in what appears to be a hurry. Then as Serena and Rita are rushing out June just fucking stops and starts staring at all the smoke as if she’s on fucking shrooms. Then there she goes on her bullshit... Hey, bish, the house is literally burning down cos your crazy ass soulmate set fire to her own life and maybe you should leave. No? Not interested? Sure, stand there. Feel up the walls like I did once on MDMA. Makes total fucking sense. TAKE YOUR TIME WHY DON’T YOU? Why not? It just reminded me of 2x13 when Rita was saying “You gotta leave NOW!” and June just took it upon herself to carve a bunch of shit onto the wall for no goddamn reason.

OKAY. I WAS RIGHT. The other night when I was like, “I think I know that beach.” I do know that beach!!! My dog likes to take dumps right where Serena was. (I clean up after him, don’t worry.) I can point out that beach on a map if you want. There are also heroin needles and ticks in the bushes. There is literally a water treatment plant 200m away. I go swimming exactly where Serena was and once a dead fish floated by and I had to wrestle my dog away from it. I have been swimming there a lot. It’s nice in the summer. HOWEVER, poor Yvonne in her drysuit doing that in fucking November or whatever. This lake is fucking cold even in summer sometimes lmao. Like, I’ve spent so many hours right in that spot... cos well, I used to live right up the road so duh. Of course now that I don’t live there now and it was winter so why would I take my dog swimming, that they decide to film there. OF COURSE.

Speaking of filming, not that anyone cares, they were at the St Lawrence Market at one point. It was so obvious. Wasn’t really paying attention to any of the other locales tbh. If I watch again and pay attention I prolly could pick out a few more but honestly the only person that entertains is myself.

I still can’t believe Serena was being reborn on dogshit/dead fish beach. 

[borisbubbles]

ESC 2019: Preshow: #40

40. MONTENEGRO D Mol - “Heaven” SemiFinal 1, first half

Ever since its release, "Heaven” ranked  in the bottom of many online rankings, and it’s not hard to see why: it suuuuucks. Eurovision isn’t exactly known for being on time with its trends, so bear in mind that when I say that “Heaven” is dated, I really do mean the dust-gathering, long since mothballed sort of antiquated that stopped being cool about three decades ago. What’s UP with those nintendo gameboy / duck mating noises? We’re in 2019, why are people still drawing inspiration from S Club 7? 

Anyway,

Entry Analysis

There’s shockingly little to analyze beyond how fucking lame “Heaven” is. It has terrifyingly bad lyrics ( “Falling / I’m in heaven / Falling / Straight into your heart” what.) and as you can see by the vid above, isn’t even performed/sung well. I thought these were supposed to be musical academy laureates???🤔  D Mol went with a UK1980-esque staging twist where they split themselves into three “””couples””” which is supposed to evoke an on-stage chemistry of sorts? I mean...

If you say so? I find them annoying, with the exception of that OTT blonde (who is pretty great, admittedly) and yes, including Rizo The “Handsome” One, who looks like he randomly wandered on to the set straight after shooting a lowbudget toiletry advert. How does this group even function on a fundamental level? Beats me, but whatever the case it don’t interest me.

Fortunately for us, D Mol immediately announced they would ~REVAMP~ their entry (after receiving massive, near-unanimous fan backlash lmao). I wasn’t expecting much, but sure, it couldn’t possibly be worse than the barebones original?  

Un-fucking-fortunately for us, this is the revamp:

I mean, I am *nearly* impressed by how Montenegro managed to turn their already atrocious song into an *even worse song* by throwing in a bunch of what appeared to be random ethnic noises on top of their already busy soundtrack and yanking the resident sex cult vibe to 11. I don’t feel like I need to waste any more words on it.. so I’ll leave you with this smörgåsbord of ESCUnited posters recoiling in horror/confusion at the new revamp:

That beach scene reminded me of mr. Bean at the Olympics 2012

I can’t believe the managed to turn the worst song this year into an even worse song. That takes some sort of talent lmao. I couldn’t stop cackling at the surrealism of it all. 

Such a vicious assault on the senses. Everything is so, so wrong. It’s the musical equivalent of grindhouse cinema which is actually my thing, except it gives you, the listener, without permission a starring role in the horror movie, which actually happens to be a snuff film. I survived to tell you the tale, but others might not be so lucky, and I’m now going to need to talk to someone. I’m sorry but I’ve got to lower my ‘aw bless trololol’ 5 points to just 2. One point for each large ball required to present this... song to Europe. I am in shock. What the hell, Montenegro?”

I’ve been sat at my laptop for the last ten minutes trying to find the words for how this can be both a deeply uninteresting slice of schlock and a deepy interesting aural failure in every way. I’m going with “this is both a deeply uninteresting slice of schlock and a deeply interesting aural failure in every way”. It needs a revamp far, far more than the original needed a revamp. I’m fascinated by how this can be so obnoxious both subjectively and what the existentialists would call ‘objectively’, but not in a ‘Cool! I want to listen more and figure out’ way.

In conclusion: Do the rest of D Mol look that squid because Rizo Feratovic is that handsome or does he look that comely because the rest are that homely? Discuss!

NF CORNER

Don’t be silly, there’s no such thing as a Montenegrin NF :-) 

Qualification Odds: Not Qualifying.

I mean, come on. Nobody likes “Heaven” unironically, except for deranged Serbs (who would vote for fucking Patrick Ouchène if he were Montenegrin). The top comment on Youtube literally talks about the nice scenery. “Wow Montenegro is beautiful, huh”? A pity we won’t be visiting it next year then. >:-)

Of course, there is a teeny chance of lolpotential because of Extra Wench, but I’m not getting my hopes up until I see them, idk, suspended in the air or some other ridic staging trick.

As for their actual results, well. Given that jurors only have 16 songs to pick from, and several songs in the first semifinal are, um, acquired taste, I can definitely see D Mol picking up a few lowish marks from random juries across the board. The televote will be a different story. They will receive 10 or 12 points from Serbia’s televote and about 7 from Slovenia’s and a nice round zero from everyone else. Oh well. Better odds for my random favos, I guess? :)

Projected placement: 13th-17th in the semifinal.

Link to the masterpost