#Like learn how to not be an asshole Carm

[warb1adecorpse]

The stress in Review is insane.. Like I could never be a Line Cook bro 💀

[leviathanspain]

hi 🖤 idk if this is a good request? lol but i’d really like to read the ways carmen prefers to be with reader than claire/noticing she’s THE one and not the other way round, maybe there was a little bit of an overlap??? not necessarily cheating but- and how sugar or richie or syd notice that they are endgame

i wanna be yours

carmy berzatto x reader

synopsis: enemies to lovers, carmy likes the attitude he’s developed when he’s around you, far more than being with his girlfriend

part 2

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you knew he didn’t like you.

richie had hired you, after you had walked in with a pile of resumes, dropping off five copies of yours before walking off. he didn’t even get a word in, admiring your style of exiting instead.

he had called you not even an hour later and asked when you could start.

and here you were, a week into waitressing at the bear.

it was supposed to be this prestigious new restaurant opened by some hotshot chef. but you couldn’t be quite sure, chicago had just recently become your home. but quickly you learned the dynamics, except for him, who wouldn’t look you in the eye, let alone talk to him.

“y/n!” richie slammed a hand on the door, swinging it open, “third time calling, where is she?” he looked around in the kitchen, eyes searching for you.

richie looked at carm, who was just finishing a conversation with sydney, “yo cousin! have you seen your employee? her shift started twenty minutes ago!” his shouts drew eyes from the rest of the kitchen staff and carmy turned, sighing slightly as he walked up to richie.

“she’s your employee, cousin. you hired her, you deal with it.” his lip twitched up slightly and richie sighed, throwing his hands up, “it’s shot to hell, all of it!” he slammed another hand on the door and back to the front of house.

suddenly, you barreled through the kitchen’s back door, a bag on your shoulder, impossibly stuffed with belongings as you hurried to the locker room. carmy sighed with annoyance upon seeing you. he turned back around and tried to find something to busy himself with.

“hey boss,” you looked at carmy, who didn’t look up from his cutting, “sorry i’m late there was some-“ you had prepared an excuse! carmy didn’t say anything just shook his head, “don’t wanna hear it, go talk to richie.”

you felt your cheeks burn red with embarrassment as you bowed your head, shuffling past him and out of the kitchen.

“fucking finally! i was beginning to think you thought this shit was optional.” richie spat, throwing a towel at you, “start wiping down the tables for dinner.” you sighed, taking the towel off your chest, where it landed and stuck, and threw it onto a table.

for a moment, you watched as you wiped the table, before looking over at richie, who had his brows furrowed over the cash drawer.

“why does he hate me?” you had an arm on the counter, lips pouted slightly.

richie sighed, knowing exactly who you were asking about. “carmy’s just carmy.” you groaned loudly, “that’s all anyone ever says. it’s just an excuse for him to act like an asshole.”

richie shrugged, “that’s all i got. forget about it and just keep scrubbing, we don’t pay you for nothing, sweetie.”

you blew a breath out, doing just as he said.

“can you please tell carmy that i need friday off?” you hung onto richie’s arm, pulling him as he tried to run away from you earlier. you had been talking his ear off all day about your trip, and how you’ve been needing this.

richie pulled his arm back and held his hands up, “i’ll see what i can do. no promises though, friday night and it’s just me and you up here? we’ll see.” he tried to be realistic in a nice way, although he knew there was no way in hell you’d be able to get that day off.

“we’ll see isn’t good enough, rich. i really, really need this.” you had clasped your hands together to further express your desperation, and richie groaned, “ask him yourself then! im sick of having to be the bridge between you two.”

you blinked, “maybe if i knew why carmy hated me, then maybe i’d do something about it. but fine!” you walked over to the kitchen door, pushing it open. inside, you found the kitchen staff cleaning up. you refreshed your greeting with them before asking about carmy. sydney had directed you to the office, where only a dim light was the indicator that he was in there.

it took you a moment to build up the courage to knock, but the door swung open before your hand even reached it. carmy stood there, nostrils flared as if he had just taken a deep breathe, redness around his eyes, exhibiting his exhaustion.

there was genuine surprise on his face to see you, and you had to withhold a breath, “hey boss.” his blue eyes locked onto yours for a mere second before they floated away, resting somewhere on the wall behind you.

“what’s up?” his voice raised the question and you nodded, “right- i already talked to richie and he told me to ask you, and i don’t know if you’ll even say yes-“

“get to the point.” of course, you should’ve known by his fingers tapping against the door that he was getting impatient. he was important, and constantly busy, he didn’t have time for you or-

“i need friday off.” you breathed, feeling the release of your tension in your shoulders. you almost heaved just as he answered, unsure of what he would say.

“yeah, i guess that’s fine.” he shrugged slightly before clearing his throat. he closed his eyes slightly as your face lit up, “really? thank you, boss. i-“

“can i get past?” carmy interrupted your words and stared at the door, your body halfway covering it. “yeah- of course.” you scooted further into the office as carmy pulled on the doorknob. you felt the edge of the door tap your back, and you shuddered as it swung back and slammed as he left.

blowing out a breathe, you opened the door, eyes accidentally catching carmy’s, who was standing near the kitchen door. you looked away first, still reeling from the interaction in the office. as much grace as you’ve been giving him, it was getting exhausting having to hold yourself back.

“why is he so-“ you struggled for the words to describe your boss, especially to richie. you were frustrated, carmy��s constant dismissal of you, even when you were asking for something that would affect him and his workday, he didn’t care!

“y/n, it’s just cousin. he’s harmless, don’t worry about anything. you got the day off?” richie turned to look at you, your mouth still in a pout, but you nodded nonetheless, “yeah i did.”

“that’s good! just be happy you got it off, hmm?” he tried to be a mediator, tried to be nice and hear you out, but after hearing the two of you express your anguish over the other, day after day, he was getting sick of it. “why’d you ask for it off again? i thought you didn’t have a life.”

you scoffed, rolling your eyes as you stared at the ground for a moment, “that’s true. it’s my father’s- was, my father’s birthday.” you laughed slightly, pausing before speaking again, “he grew up here, going to the local theater with his father for his birthday every year. we’d make family trips every year to come back to chicago, watch movies with him in the same theater and share a slice of cake. after he passed, my sister and i were the only ones who did it for a while, but then she got married and suddenly, it was just me.” you shrugged, “and then i moved to chicago permanently, into the same house that my father lived in. and i got a job here.” you smiled weakly, “yeah.”

richie nodded, “yeah.” matching your tone of voice. he didn’t want to speak, letting himself sit with that. you were nice enough, a good kid, and he saw something in you, a little spark just wanting to be ignited fully. he didn’t know what it would take, but it seemed like you didn’t either.

carmy hadn’t realized that he had eavesdropped the entire conversation between you and richie until richie came into the kitchen, slamming the door against carmy, who had stood there, frozen, captivated by your story.

“cousin- get the hell out of the way!” richie barely glanced at carmy, too in a rush to even think to slow down.

carmy looked down at the door as he pushed the door open, out into the dining room. he looked up to see you wiping down the counters. you had a wet rag under your hand, and you were lost in thought as your hand moved in a circular, repetitive motion. you didn’t even notice him as he inched closer, unsure of what he was going to say when you noticed him.

“hey.” carmy realized he was speaking, and as you looked up, your attention. you couldn’t help but smile, this was the first time that you had seen him so still, and so in thought.

“hey.” you returned his greeting, letting the rag go, you turned your full attention to him. he laughed nervously and that made you smile even more. it was odd, how he changed so suddenly with you.

you raised an eyebrow, “is there something wrong?” he hadn’t said anything else, just staring in thought.

he shook his head, and returned himself to the kitchen.

“weird.” you exhaled, watching as the door swung shut behind him. how could carmy go from being the biggest asshole to you, to randomly greeting you then going silent.

you’d talk to richie about it later, but for now you had work to finish.

“claire.” carmy looked surprised to see his girlfriend. it was friday, and normally she stopped by on saturdays. “i thought you worked on fridays.” he pulled her into the office and claire shrugged, “i got off early, just to come see you.”

carmy nodded, “yeah. yeah.” claire raised an eyebrow at him, “i cant leave early tho. y/n asked for the day off and i didn’t realize how much she does so-“ he cut himself off watching as claire’s expression soured slightly.

carmy sighed, “i know- but i’m her boss, im going to have to talk to her eventually.” claire rolled her eyes, “god, i-“ she cut herself off and stood up, “that’s fine, carmen. i understand, really.” her tone sounded irritated as she opened the door. carmy found himself standing to rush after her, but stopped himself.

had he really made a judgement on you based on an experience claire had with you in grade school? so far, you hadn’t mentioned claire to be someone of the past, and carmy had wondered why.

carmy blinked, suddenly getting the urge to rush after claire. but as she walked right out the front door, carmy realized that he had been too late. normally, the guilt would set right in, but as he stared out into the dining room, he could imagine you standing at the counter, eyes shying away from his.

saturday had been a rough start for you. you had spent the whole night before, sobbing at the movie theater. your eyes had puffed up so much that you had to go home, barely able to see the movie through your tears. this time of year was rough for you, especially since your family hardly called. your father had been the glue to hold all your differences together, but it seemed not to have a lasting affect.

when you had arrived late to work, yet again, you had expected carmy to give you the silent treatment, or possibly even yell, but he hadn’t said anything.

except,

“i’m sorry about your dad.” he had looked down at the floor when he said it. you stared at him, shocked that he said anything to you besides the usual, and that he knew about your father.

“how long as it been?” more. he was talking more to you, “uhh-“ you couldn’t contain yourself, “two years. but it feels like-“

“yesterday. yeah i know.” he finished your sentence. “i lost my dad too. a while ago.” he shook his head, as if shaking the feeling that came along with it.

you nodded, holding a small smile that carmy had actually made conversation with you.

“thank you. and im sorry for your loss as well.” you brushed past him, still reeling.

months passed, changing things with time, including carmen.

not only had he become a better boss, but you could consider him a friend. transitioning to kitchen staff had made that happen, including moments that made you think of him as more.

there was no doubt of the chemistry you had with him. everyone noticed it, and sydney had half the mind to encourage it.

“you work so well together! he needs something and you’re there with it! it’s actually insane, like did you guys come from the same planet?” her voice got a little high as she rambled on and you laughed, “what planet would that be, syd?”

she shrugged, “something of greatness. i mean, he’s even said it himself-“

you held up a hand, ending her little ramble right then and there, “sydney. i am not anything like the world renowned chef that runs this place. im not even a sous! i was waiting tables just a month ago.” your hand pointed out to the dining room and sydney threw her hands up, “that’s exactly my point!”

you rolled your eyes, “please stop.” you couldn’t hear her anymore, not while carmy was just minutes from rounding the corner.

“want one?” carmy had noticed you were gone. the rush was starting to slow and you had decided to take a break, not knowing he would follow. there was a cigarette hanging in his mouth glumly, a lighter being tossed between his hands.

“i don’t really smoke.” you answered earnestly. carmy brought the lighter up to his mouth, taking a moment to light it. he inhaled, and you caught yourself staring at him as he exhaled.

“you don’t really?” he sat down, closer than he probably realized. you turned to look at him, eyes hooding as they focused on his cigarette. “mhm.” you answered, leaning a cheek on your hand.

you were reaching out before you realized, fingers wrapping around the cigarette, pulling it from his mouth and into yours.

carmy watched you with surprised eyes, as you took a long, deep drag. you exhaled it, hand outstretched to return it. he took it, smiling as he chuckled.

“i’m quitting.” you admitted. looking at carmy, waiting for him to react. he didn’t, and you laughed, “did you hear me, carmen?”

carmy took another drag, pulling out the cigarette to flick it against the concrete step, “no you’re not.”

“i am- i already talked to richie and syd-“ you found yourself trying to justify your decision until he raised his voice, “no you’re not! i said no!”

you flinched, not used to having him scream directly in your face. he didn’t need to, and so he never did.

until now.

your ears were still ringing. you had been staring at carmy’s side profile for five minutes, as he stared ahead in silence.

finally, “why not?” the pure shock had kept you quiet, but you had built up emotion, and your voice couldn’t help cracking.

carmy shrugged, “just don’t. just give me time, alright.”

your frustration grew with his vague answer. he was refusing your resignation, and now he was refusing to tell you why?

carmy panted quietly. he had been in the office for more than twenty minutes, watching as he phone buzzed with call after phone call from claire.

he couldn’t pick up, not when his head was full with thoughts of you. he knew it was wrong, he knew that claire should be the only girl on his mind, but she wasn’t and he felt horrible.

he stared at the phone, swallowing thickly as he picked up the phone, opening a desk drawer and tossing it in.

ever since he had found out that you had no idea who his girlfriend was, and that her entire reasoning to dislike you had been a lie, it had strained his relationship. but claire had been close to catching onto his disillusionment, and it seemed like she reached it.

he opened the office door, breathing in deeply as he saw you in the kitchen, eyes red rimmed but still diligently at work.

[soft-persephone]

Are they trying to humble Syd?

Saw another analysis of the bear that if reads true, I am so scared for Sydney.

It claimed that Sydney is afraid of Carmen’s expertise, and is taking him being better than her as a slight. They use the example of her risotto dish and how he kept telling her it wasn’t ready until he texted her about the acid, and then once she did it, the dish was good.

And the second example of her trying to tell him it’s hard to keep up with him, and he immediately talks about how he’s been doing it longer, and she says it’s not about the skill level.

To me it was about. Amen doing this thing he’s been doing all season of not listening to her, calling her, or treating as an equal like he promised in season 2.

The author is this analysis, begin to explain how Sydney is afraid of Carmen shining and being better than her, and that’s what drives her to want to leave, and that this is a mistake because she needs to listen to Carm, and he’s right and she needs to deal with her own insecurities about them. They predict that her leaving to do things her own way will not go great.

They continue to say Carmen is understanding of those insecurities because he used to have them, and that why the table seen goes so hard.

But I have bigger concerns.

Because if this reads true, and Sydney leaving is a mistake, it feels awfully like this is a situation to humble Sydney, and that not a show I want to watch.

Sydney not being as great as she thinks she is leaves the much better chef Carmen to another failure of her own demise?

Why would that be a natural story progression? Of everything this show has tried to say through these regular everyday people, why would a black woman getting “humbled” be one of them.

I truly hope this is wrong because I didn’t read these moments like that at all.

The first episode shows Carmy being an asshole we never truly knew he was. He’s, he worked his as off to be great, but did we miss how he ultimately became the guy he hated for being on his ass everyday over literally nothing.

He started treating other people the way that guy treated him because, I’m assuming, he admired him in some way because this is supposed to be the best resturaunt in the world.

Carmen decided to just do things his own way because what really made that guy better than him? Not as much as he thought. It was ultimately a stylistic difference.

That guy liked everything plain and simple as possible and Carmen just wanted to add some fucking color.

As pretentious as this show can be, in its presentation and delivery of certain things, that’s all it fucking was. Carmen wanted to add some razzle dazzle and that guy hated him for it.

But as we are now learning, Carmen hasn’t fully let go of anything that guy has said to him and he’s still spreading that bullshit to other people, But Sydney is not one to be played with and she spoke up for herself and left.

Because it’s not as straightforward as it seems. He never does any of this to Marcus, and that says a lot.

I don’t have the depth to explain that, but Carmen does a lot of Marcus what he and Syd also do for each other, but the respect level is drastically different.

Why can’t we predict Sydney goes out in her own and fucking kills it?

When Carmen was locked in the freezer everything went fine without him. We already have proof that she’s good and can do this on her own.

Believe it or not, if we don’t remember, Carmen has always been an asshole.

He’s in the beginning, the Beef team was afraid of change and doing things to make them better, but Carmen made it a point to prove he was better than everyone in every meat and he hasn’t exactly let that go yet. He still has that in him and it shows in everything he’s doing to Syd snd The Bear.

[sullivxnselise-blog]

all the texts for row n cherry :~)

(this is literally so long i’m warning u now)

ROWAN:

send me “✆” for a morning text

elise – row ur boat 9:09am: if i send u a list of possible drug dealers in stone harbor can u identify some of them? i just got to work and i have so much fucking paperwork to do rip in pieces me

send me “” for a text that wasn’t sent

elise – row ur boat 4:47am: i know this is kind of unprovoked or whatever, but i just wanted to tell you that i don’t actually think you’re some kind of irredeemable asshole. yeah you get on my nerves sometimes but i think you’re really a good person just trying to get by like the rest of us. so i don’t know, i guess i just wanted to tell you that you’re not a waste of space and i -

send me “☎” for a rushed text

elise – row ur boat 12:25pm: ok i’m on my way don’t do anything dumb just stay put i’ll be there in ten minutes tops

send me “⁇” for a drunk text

elise – row ur boat 2:29am: ,i will have you know that i am NOTT uuptight juts bc i havveen’t  gotte l,aid in a while

elise – row ur boat 2:30am:in FACT i ,went home wiith a cute guy yesterdayy so how do u, like,, THEM APPLEE SROYAN

send me “���” for a suggestive text

elise – row ur boat 4:00pm: i’m just saying that if you were into girls and you and artie were willing, i definitely wouldn’t mind being between the two of u. don’t be weird about it bc i’m telling u this in confidence

send me “ø” for a late night text

elise – row ur boat 4:05am: sometimes i have trouble sleeping and bordeaux likes to wake me up by walking on my face. why are YOU awake?

send me “✘” for a hateful text

elise – row ur boat 6:07pm: you know rowan maybe people wouldn’t fucking hate you so much if you learned to keep your damn mouth shut. js

send me “#” for a random text

elise – row ur boat 2:10pm: do u have peanut butter??? i’m trying to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich rn and i’m out of peanut butter and no one in this godforsaken town has any

send me “@” for a scared text

elise – row ur boat 5:37pm: i just got home and bordeaux won’t stop throwing up i’m literally gonna kermit

elise – row ur boat 5:40pm: carmen isn’t answering her fucking phone but i’m getting in the car rn to go to the vet and my heart is gonna actually beat out of my chest

elise – row ur boat 7:00pm: update: dumb bitch is fine she just keeps eating a shit ton of grass while i’m at work and now i have hospital bills to pay and a cat door to drill shut

send me “&” for a loving text

elise – row ur boat 3:04pm: i’m on my way back to appleton rn and i just passed a guy on the street that looked JUST like you and holy shit?? i actually miss stone harbor? i miss all of u, even the ones i’ve never gotten along well with. we’re like one dysfunctional family and i can’t wait to go back home to all of u. stay safe while i’m gone would u??

send me “%” for a curious text

elise – row ur boat 5:58pm: out of curiosity, how did u and artie meet? u seem to be one of the more stable, healthy relationships in this town and i’m tryna figure out how the fuck u did it

send me “ツ” for an excited text

elise – row ur boat 10:51pm: holy SHIT i just opened my glovebox looking for something and realized i have like seven unused taco bell coupons wtf 

elise – row ur boat 10:52am:they expire tomorrow do u want to take a road trip

send me “$” for an accidental text

elise – row ur boat 6:08am: i walked into the living room this morning and ur daughter peed on the carpet so i’ll be sending her to boarding school this disobedience is too much

elise – row ur boat 8:25am: i literally just realized that i send that to u and not carmen u can ignore it awsnldkbanodhoewb

send me “♀” for a heartbreaking text

elise – row ur boat 7:36pm: not that i should really be telling you this anyway, but i’m really fucking terrified i’m never gonna find love. not even just romantic love, but like… love in general. even platonic love even feels forced to me. i get along really well with indi and carm and astrid, even though she tends to push me away, but it always feels like bullshit.

elise – row ur boat 7:45pm: i guess i’m just trying to say that even though we’re not super close, i’ve always felt like you’re real, at least. you speak your mind and there’s no bullshit. and even though i would never trust you with my deepest secrets, i at LEAST know you’re not using me for ur own personal gain

CHERRY:

send me “✆” for a morning text

elise – cherry pie 5:30am: hey i woke up an hour early today and i can’t fall back asleep do u want to get breakfast and talk shit before i have to go to work?

send me “” for a text that wasn’t sent

elise – cherry pie 1:47am: i don’t know if i should really trust you with this, but it feels like i can..? not to say you’re not trustworthy, but it would make you the only person who knows and given our past… i don’t know. but i need to tell someone and i’ve had…. maybe two or three more glasses of wine than i should have so here goes. i was married. i’m still married, technically. he lives in new york, probably still in our old apartment building, and he was -

send me “☎” for a rushed text

elise – cherry pie 9:36pm: i got in the shower and realized i have no shampoo pls tell me u can bring me some i only have one towel clean and if i use it now to go get the shampoo myself i have to do a load of laundry before i can shower again later

send me “⁇” for a drunk text

elise – cherry pie 12:49am: PSAz i hate stone  haarbor and everyone in iti exc,,eptt for likee.. 3 people adn my cat

send me “✿” for a suggestive text

elise – cherry pie 11:34pm: all i’m saying is that if we had hate sex before we became friends it would have been the best sex of our lives and that’s just the facts

send me “ø” for a late night text

elise – cherry pie 3:26am: i’m at the store rn and they have edible cookie dough??? so obviously i’m buying one of every flavor do u want to meet somewhere and eat them with me

send me “✘” for a hateful text

elise – cherry pie 8:45pm: sometimes i can’t stand u

elise – cherry pie 6:48pm: i know we’re friends now but i still want to strangle u sometimes bc WOW can u be a lot

elise – cherry pie 6:48pm: i love u tho

send me “#” for a random text

elise – cherry pie 2:10pm: did u get a dog without telling me???

elise – cherry pie 2:20pm: no reason it’s just that while i was writing a parking ticket i saw, out of the corner of my eye mind u, a woman with red hair walk past me with a fucking dog and i was gonna lose my shit if u hadn’t told me

send me “@” for a scared text

elise – cherry pie 11:03pm: do u ever feel like everybody secretly hates u and wants u gone?? bc i’m kinda feelin that right now and it’s a) terrifying, and b) shitty

send me “&” for a loving text

elise – cherry pie 7:22pm: i just want u to know that i do care about u. i know if can be easy to think maybe i don’t bc of our history or bc i just tend to not be the most affectionate person ever, but i rlly do think ur great and i’m glad we got over our bullshit bc it was super catty and stupid and i’m happy ur my friend

send me “%” for a curious text

elise – cherry pie 12:17pm: hey are u a natural redhead?? i’m at the store rn getting my lunch and i just walked by a bottle of hair dye that’s deadass the exact color of ur hair and i was just wondering

send me “ツ” for an excited text

elise – cherry pie 5:10pm: guess who got a raise today and is now taking u to the well dressed olive to celebrate?? this bih! get ready bc i’m going home to change and then i’m coming to pick u up

send me “$” for an accidental text

elise – cherry pie 4:06am: would u rather eat a gallon of applesauce in one siting or a five pound steak in one sitting

elise – cherry pie 4:07am: that was meant for astrid

send me “♀” for a heartbreaking text

elise – cherry pie 10:26pm: on the dl, i literally have no idea what the fuck i’m doing with my life and i actually hate every decision i’ve ever made

elise – cherry pie 10:40pm: no don’t worry about me, i’m fine. i’m just sitting on my couch watching reality tv and rlly in my feelings rn, but i really am fine, i s2g

[melonoverlord]

ABCs for our good good Granny

A: Aptitude

1. what are your oc’s natural abilities, things they’ve been doing since young?

She’s known her way around people since she met her adopted family, since they grew up in a farm town where all the neighbors knew each other.

2. what activities have they participated in?

She’s been in a girl band since she was a young woman, and she’s been performing in her band until about ten years ago, but now she just performs solo because most of her friends have since passed.

3. what abilities do they have that they’ve worked for?

She had a lot of difficulty learning how to maneuver around and keep active when she started getting older. She was always a rambunctious and rowdy child, so when her joints and bones started disagreeing with the types of movements she was doing, Granny had to learn how to calm 

4. what things are they bad at?

Her impulse control is shattered. She is the type of person to cut all the sleeves off her shirts because her friends were gone for the weekend. She is also the type of person to dance shirtless at a bar because someone told her to. She and Xo would either get along swimmingly or get in a fist fight while they’re both drunk.

5. what is their most impressive talent?

She is possibly the best mandolin player in the world. It was her first love and even now one of the only things keeping her tied to her past.

B: Basics

1. what is their hair color?

Silver. Her natural color is dark red though. She’s just old.

2. what is their eye color?

Bright green

3. how tall are they?

3′0

4. how old are they?

Somewhere around mid 70s to early 80s. She lost count, but always says 75 as a counter.

5. how much do they weigh?

85 lbs

C: Comfort

1. how do they sit in a chair?

Manspreading with one arm propped up on the back of the chair (if she can reach that high). If she’s too short to reach the top of the seat, she just folds her arms.

2. in what position do they sleep?

On her stomach with her head on top of both arms. She also doesn’t move at all when she sleeps, so sometimes people worry if she died in her sleep.

3. what is their ideal comfort day?

Chilling at her farm with her younger brother and bandmates while just fucking around with instruments.

4. what is their major comfort food? why?

Pumpkin scones. It was one of the fanciest things her family could afford when she was young.

5. who is the best at comforting them when down?

Her best friend Carmilia, who also lowkey ruined her life. Other than Carm, her younger brother Percy.

D: Decoration

1. how would they decorate a house if they had one under their name?

Now that Granny is an international superstar, she could afford anything she wanted, but she would probably like a “plantation” style home- big farm without the implication of slavery- so she could have a room just for music, another just for partying, and one just so she could say “This is my thinking room.”

2. how would they decorate their child’s room?

She never wants kids, but she would make a room for her brother or friends’ kids if they ever came over. And you know it would have its own chocolate fountain.

3. how do they decorate their own room?

Granny’s room at home was very simple since they lived on a farm, and even after she got rich and famous, they were always on the road so she couldn’t have a fancy house of her own.

4. what type of clothes and accessories do they wear?

When she was younger she’d wear a lot of trousers and comfortable blouses. Now she more opts for riding pants, stylish sweaters, and vests.

5. do they like makeup/nail/beauty trends?

She loved makeup when she was younger. It’s one of her favorite parts of performing (besides the actual performance) and now that it’s hard to do makeup, she just tries to do lipstick.

E: External Personality

1. does the way they do things portray their internal personality?

Granny is and always has been a rowdy, party-loving girl so she doesn’t have a lot of her personality to hide.

2. do they do things that conform to the norm?

Granny was one of the first international superstars, so she’s been breaking norms since she was first found by her adopted parents.

3. do they follow trends or do their own thing?

Granny has been a trendsetter since she could toddle.

4. are they up-to-date on the internet fads?

She tries to be but there are so many fantasy memes these days that she can’t keep up.

5. do they portray their personality intentionally or let people figure it out on their own?

She lets people figure it out on their own because she doesn’t really care about what people think of her.

F: Fun

1. what do they do for fun?

Compose music, partying, and playing with Mordred.

2. what is their ideal party?

One that she doesn’t remember the next morning.

3. who would they have the most fun with?

Her band, her brother, and probably Nugget once she got to know her.

4. can they have fun while conforming to rules?

In theory yes, but really it’s much more fun to break the rules.

5. do they go out a lot?

After a show she always throws an afterparty.

G: Gorgeous

1. what is their most attractive external feature?

She has really pretty light green eyes and when she was younger, she had gorgeous dark red hair.

2. what is the most attractive part of their personality?

She just exudes self confidence and fun.

3. what benefits come with being their friend?

There will never be a boring moment, she will start a bar fight to defend your honor, and she will play your favorite music to make you happy.

4. what parts of them do they like and dislike?

She loved every part of herself when she was younger but now hates that she looks a couple feet in the grave. She just wants to be young again.

5. what parts of others do they envy?

She is slightly jealous of Nugget’s youthful and boundless energy because a bitch be tired.

H: Heat

1. do they rather a hot or cold room?

She’s used to sleeping in the cold more, because her family’s farm was near the mountains, so cold.

2. do they prefer summer or winter?

Summer by far. She is a rowdy girl who loves to have fun in the sun.

3. do they like the snow?

She thinks its really fun to do cannonballs in the snow.

4. do they have a favorite summer activity?

Swimming

5. do they have a favorite winter activity?

Making cookies

I: In-the-closet

1. what is their sexuality?

Tied for best aroace in the history of aroaces.

2. have they ever questioned their sexuality?

When she was younger, she tried to see if she had a crush on anyone, but she was always more of the type to go party hard than to have sex.

3. have they ever questioned their gender?

No, she’s always been comfortable as a girl.

4. would/was their family be okay with them being LGBT?

Her family was very rural, so while they wouldn’t completely understand (except her brother, who is gay), they would accept her.

5. how long would/did it take for them to come out?

She came out when she was about fifteen, asking why she didn’t feel any romantic love for anyone.

J: Joy

1. what makes them happy?

Playing music, being around people, and generally being rowdy

2. who makes them happy?

Her little brother, and her bandmates.

3. are there any songs that bring them joy?

‘My Boyfriend’s Back’ by the Angels

4. are they happy often?

Lately she’s been feeling more glum because she’s old and alone with just Mordred. But when she was younger, she was extremely happy.

5. what brings them the most joy in the world?

Playing music and her goat son, Mordred.

K: Kill

1. have they ever thought about suicide?

No, Granny’s already afraid of dying because she’s old.

2. have they ever thought about homicide?

She doesn’t necessarily like fatal violence, but there’s a particular asshole that needs a good asswhooping.

3. if they could kill anyone without punishment, would they? who?

The asshole that needs a asswhooping because he ruined her life.

4. who would miss them if they died?

She knows her family and friends, but the thing is that she doesn’t even know if they’re alive. Mordred of course would be a devastated lil goat. And of course her adoring fans.

5. who would be happy they died, anyone?

Literally there is one person she knows that would revel at her death.

L: Lemons

1. what is their favorite fruit?

She fucking loves anything pumpkin flavored.

2. what is their least favorite fruit?

Cranberries taste like someone tried to make a fruit but weren’t really sure what they’re supposed to taste like.

3. are there any foods they hate?

She can’t stand any mushy textures, so mashed potatoes or oatmeal.

4. do they have any food intolerances?

She’s allergic to tree nuts.

5. what is their favorite food?

Pumpkin scones.

M: Maternal

1. would they want a daughter or a son?

If she haaaad to have a child, she would prefer a son since she grew up with a brother and has more experience dealing with a male child.

2. how many children do they want?

The only kid she wants is her goat son, Mordred.

3. would they be a good parent?

She 100% thinks she’d be an awful parent, but she’d be a great aunt/older sister/grandma. 

4. what would they name a son? what would they name a daughter?

If she had to have a child, she would name a son Percy or Arthur, and daughter Elaine or Alya.

5. would they adopt?

She ain’t having sex, so yes.

N: Never Have I Ever

1. what would they never do?

Kill someone (other than the asshole that ruined her life). She’s killed animals, but she doesn’t like the concept of death for humanoids.

2. what have they never done that they want to do?

She never thought she’d be on the run trying to find a way to get her life back.

3. is there anything they absolutely can’t believe people do?

Spend four hours skinning a yeti.

4. what is the most embarrassing thing they’ve done?

A couple years ago, she got really sick and was put in a nursing home for a while. It was the first time she felt useless for being old.

5. have they done anything they thought they’d never do?

Get old.

O: Optimism

1. are they optimistic or pessimistic?

She can’t afford to be pessimistic. That’s just a ticket to an early grave.

2. are they openly optimistic, throwing it on others?

She tries to be. Her bandmates were always generally optimistic too, so it was just a lot of happy friends.

3. are they good at giving advice?

She’s good at giving advice when it’s someone she knows really well but she’s fucking awful when its someone general.

4. is there anyone in their life that throws optimism on them?

Right now it’s her funky little goat son Mordred, but when she was younger, it was one of her bandmates that was one of the most optimistic people she knew.

5. were they always optimistic?

She’s been optimistic for most of her life. She had a really bad bout of depression about ten years ago, but she’s trying to get her happy attitude back.

P: Personality

1. what is their best personality trait?

Optimism.

2. what is their worst personality trait?

Reckless.

3. what of their personality do others love?

Nugget loves Granny’s “loud happy” which is just Granny’s sense of humor, her brother loved her big sister energy and big heart, and her friends loved her magnetic energy.

4. what of their personality do others envy?

Her brother was jealous of her endless optimism and energy, her best friend who was a half-orc was jealous on how fast Granny made friends with people, and Nugget envies her ability to say what she needs to because Nugget just can’t.

5. do they hate anything about their personality/about other’s personalities?

She can’t be friends with anyone who is boring or doesn’t give a shit about emotions and focuses more on logic.

Q: Questions

1. do they ask for help?

She doesn’t like asking for help because she wants to be self sufficient, but when push comes to shove, she’ll ask for help.

2. do they ask questions in class?

Nah she usually wrote music in class.

3. do they answer questions that make them a little uncomfortable?

She’ll answer all questions except about two, and if those two questions come up, she will distract the other person and evade the question.

4. do they ask weird questions?

She loves getting a rise out of people, so yes.

5. are they curious?

Oh yeah, she loves adventure.

R: Rules

1. do they follow rules?

She was a pretty rebellious child, so while she listened to most of what her parents said, she would do her own thing a lot.

2. would they be a strict or laid-back parent?

Definitely laid back. She doesn’t want to be the discipline parent. She wants to be the vodka aunt.

3. have they ever been consequenced for breaking a rule?

She was sometimes grounded by her parents for sneaking out of the house when she was like 11 or 12 with her younger brother, but it wouldn’t last for more than a week.

4. have they broken any rules they now regret breaking?

Not necessarily a rule, but she regrets going against advice that her band gave not to go to a specific town where her life was ruined.

5. do they find any rules they/others follow absolutely ridiculous?

Anytime she hears that a child has extremely strict parents who don’t let them go anywhere or only hang out with people they approve of, she gets angry.

S: Streets

1. are they street-smart?

She’s learned to be street smart over the past ten years or so.

2. would they give money to someone on the streets?

Absolutely. She has more than enough money to survive.

3. have they ever gotten in a fight on the streets?

She fought a yeti and some wolf-things. She roasted the yeti with sick beats.

4. has anything happened to them on the streets?

Basically everything that’s happened to her since she met Nugget and Elara.

5. are they cautious when out?

She acts like she isn’t, but she’s always on the lookout for trouble.

T: Truth

1. are they honest?

When she was younger, she was extremely honest, not really giving a shit about people’s opinions, and although now she’s nicer, she’s still pretty blunt.

2. can they tell if someone is lying?

Now she’s a little more paranoid about people, but when she was younger, she tended to trust people on their word unless they were really suspicious.

3. is it obvious when they’re lying?

She’s charismatic as fuck. She’s learn how to lie over the years.

4. have they lied about anything they regret lying about?

She’s really only lying about two things, and both she never wants to let the truth be known.

5. have they told truths that have been spread against their will?

She hasn’t told truths that’s been spread, but there was a truth that she wasn’t aware of that got spread.

U: Underdog

1. have they been bullied?

She’s been the victim of passive elder abuse of managers trying to con her out of money, or scammers pretending to be family members that she knows for a fact aren’t real.

2. have they bullied anyone?

She gently bulled whatever-the-fuck-his-name was just because he was objectively awful. She became vegan just to spite him.

3. have they been physically attacked by a bully?

She was stalked during her early part of her 20s but that was a long time ago.

4. have they ever been doubted?

A lot of people thinks that she’s past her prime because she’s old but dammit Granny’s here til the day she dies.

5. have they surprised people with being good at something?

She surprised her family being good at music, and even surprised herself by being good at a shortsword.

V: Vomit

1. do they vomit often?

Granny has impeccable alcohol tolerance, given that halflings are partiers. That being said, once she hits about 7 drinks, she is down for the count and is throwing up for about four hours straight the next morning. Luckily she doesn’t party that much anymore to get that bad.

2. do they get lots of stomach aches?

That being said, she doesn’t get sick that often

3. are they good at comforting someone ill?

She’s been a big sister for a big chunk of her life, so she’s good at comforting her friends and brother.

4. what do they like as far as comfort goes?

Although she’s great comforting other people by rubbing their back or stroking their hair, when Granny’s sick, she wants absolutely nobody and no one touching her or she will barf.

5. do they burp, cough, or hiccup most when nauseous? when vomiting?

She burps a lot. And since she’s so small, she usually has a little jump associated with the burp.

W: Water

1. do they drink enough water?

She maybe drinks a little too much ale for her consumption of water, but water is also very important for keeping the throat showstopper ready, so she drinks enough to keep herself lubricated.

2. have they learned to swim?

Granny lived near a lake when she was younger, so it was one of the first things she learned how to do. And it was also one of the first things she 

3. do they like to swim?

She doesn’t do it as much now because it’s hard to pull herself out, but it feels relaxing on her joints, so whenever she has the opportunity to take a dippity dip, she does.

4. can they dive?

Definitely not anymore, but when she was younger, she could. Granny was more a fan of cannonballing though.

5. can they swim without holding their nose?

Yes, she was quite a good singer.

X: Xylophone

1. what is their favorite genre of music?

50s and 60s girl bands and artists. She loves that classic girl rock.

2. do they have a favorite song?

Dream a Little Dream of Me by Billie Holliday.

3. do they have a favorite band/artist/singer?

Diana Ross and the Supremes, The Angels, and Aretha Franklin. Granny loves old bops by female bands and artists.

4. can they sing well?

She was part of a girl band a long time ago where she sang and played mandolin. She is an amazing singer.

5. can they rap?

Rapping was after her heyday, but if she really took the time to listen to rap music, she’d be able to learn how to rap.

Y: You

1. how old were you when you created them?

19

2. what inspired you to create them?

When I went through my dnd character making spree (in which I made Talia as well), I decided to make an old halfling grandmother. And that is when Granny sprang into existence.

3. were they different when they were first created?

Absolutely. Before I made her official background, my plan was for her to be a disgraced singer who was making her comeback tour because her grandchildren told her that no one cares about her anymore. But now she has a better backstory that I love.

4. do you enjoy writing them more than other characters?

It’s a shame that the campaign fell through, because Granny is a phenomenal character and I love playing her. Her voice, although ruins my own vocal cords, is extremely fun to do.

5. what’s your favorite thing about them?

Despite being rough and tumble and kinda an egoist, she still wants to protect the people she’s with. And she would die for all of her friends.

Z: Zebra

1. what’s their favorite animal?

Lions. Big, fiery, and badass.

2. do they like animals?

Because she grew up around animals, she loves them, but not enough to make a career taking care of them.

3. cats or dogs?

Dogs. She had a lot of dogs growing up and loved running around with them. Her favorite was named Jasper.

4. what’s their dream pet?

When she was a child, she had horses and really misses them. Someday she’d like a horse, particularly the black ones.

5. do they have any pets at the moment?

She has her pet goat Mordred who she’d die for.