#Like I know that might partially be my own bonding issues and the fact I tend to hold people at distance for at least the first few months

[the-dragonlich]

The weird thing about having a general sense of apathy and/or melancholy as your default emotion is that it makes you really slow to process the actual emotion you feel so by the time you realize what you’re feeling you’ve already been stewing in it for days to maybe months

[yesimwriting]

something about bestfriend!felix who's so used to the world bending over backwards to please him that he seems entirely separated from the concept of boundaries.

it's one of the few things about him that remains unspoken because it reminds those in his social circle that no matter how much influence or money they might have, someone has more. and that someone is felix catton.

he's never weird about it, there's just this rule that everyone learns to pick up on and never mention. if felix wants to go out for the night or do anything socially with someone, it's customary for that person to cancel any other plans.

it might be more of an issue if felix's proximity didn't feel like sunbathing on an early summer day, but it does. so he's used to not having to work to get someone where he wants them.

until you.

despite your friendship still being relatively new, the two of you have bonded enough for you to accept his presence instantly.

felix didn't call before coming over. you answered the door after two knocks, grinning as soon as you saw him standing there. you didn't even think to ask about the lack of notice, you just invited him in and made some comment about how you were just studying.

he told you he didn't mind if you wanted to keep studying, that he brought over his own textbooks just in case. even though you were set up at your desk, you moved your supplies over to your bed so that you could sit with him.

it started off as separated as the two of you ever are, just your bent knee pressing gently into his lower thigh. your shared restraint dissolved quickly.

you're practically laying down, back partially supported by a wall and two pillows, felix's head resting on your stomach as you comb your fingers through his hair. he's holding up a textbook for you with one arm, fingertips absentmindedly brushing against your bare leg.

he breaks the silence with a sigh. when you don't respond, he turns his head and presses his lips against your thigh. your nails freeze against his scalp. "felix."

"lovie," he replies, tone as scandalized as yours. you sigh, and he can practically feel your eye roll.

felix grins, turning his head look up at you. he knows he should be good about this, about you, but he's not accustomed to practicing this kind of restraint. he's preoccupied with terribly soft thoughts of closer when he blurts out the question, "come out with me tonight?"

it's only a question by technicality, his eyes bright as if you've already agreed.

you press your lips together, and the hesitance in the look jabs at him. he brushes his knuckles against the side of your leg like that might tip the decision. "i have an econ test on monday."

the excuse deflates him. it's only friday, and even if it wasn't, you don't need to worry about your grades. there's a naturalness to your schooling, you grasp everything almost immediately. any personal selfishness aside, you don't need a weekend of studying. it's objective fact.

you're still watching him, expression unsure. "y'know too much studying's bad for you." your lips part, but before you can say anything, felix is shutting the book he'd been holding up for you.

he extends his arm, his palm covering the upper half of your face with the palm of his hand. you laugh out his name. "what? your eyes need the rest." you shift, still giggling as you halfheartedly try to push him off. "you'll get a headache."

your fingers wrap around his wrist. "you're my headache."

he lets out a mock gasp before pulling away entirely. felix doesn't miss your slight pout as he sits up. "actually?"

you're chasing after him, sitting up and attempting to grab his arm. felix lets you. "no." you squeeze his arm to you. "i meant it in a you're my best friend way."

"that so?" you nod innocently, all wide eyes as if to say see? i have no intentions of being anything other than a perfect angel.

felix pretends to contemplate forgiveness, then, with no warning lays down. you're not given a chance to deliberate what that means before he's tugging on your arm. he mumbles a brief, explanatory, "c'mere," as he pulls you into his chest.

you listen, moving to rest your chin against the side of his chest. your arm's across him. felix's shirt has ridden up right where your fingertips naturally rest. the bare contact makes goosebumps break out across your arms.

"go out with me tonight," he tries, voice soft. you have to drop your gaze to keep from immediately melting and agreeing to whatever he wants. "c'mon, think it's good for you to take a break every now and then."

you lift your head up just enough to glare at him. felix shifts his leg, pressing it against yours. you push back gently, just enough to reciprocate the gesture. "so you're saying i'm a friendless loser that only ever goes out when you make me?"

"i'm saying," he extends the syllables to buy himself some time to think, "i have to go, and i won't have any fun without you."

you find it hard to imagine that felix catton ever has to do anything he doesn't want to. you're also confident in his ability to find fun at a party. "you have farleigh, and oliver, and annabel--you'll be fine without me."

his hand is on your back, fingers tracing lazy patterns against the fabric of your t-shirt. "i don't want anyone else." the soft whine in his tone paired with his slight pout makes him seem smaller, like a little kid that just needs to be wrapped up. "i want you."

"you have me."

felix frowns, "doesn't feel like it."

you're losing. "do you really want me to go that badly?"

he smiles, feeling the crack in your resolve. "we'll just go for a little. have a drink or two, then y'can sleepover if you want." you do like sleeping over in felix's dorm. "and then tomorrow we can do whatever you want--study, watch a movie, dinner."

a sleepover and a saturday. this no longer feels like a loss. you smile, "deal."

felix's available hand finds your hip. "that's my girl."

the comment makes your face feel warm, you drop your head to rest on his stomach to hide any potential signs of being flustered. he'd tease you to no end about it. "i should get up, start getting ready."

he runs his hand down your back, "it's not until later." he moves his hand back up slowly. his thumb starts traces circles against your shoulder. "we've got time."

----

omg bestfriend!felix blurbs are everything to me,, if you have any thoughts about bestfriend-verse pls lmk,,

also?? might have to write a full fic for bestfriend-verse

taglist; @vader-is-hot @spiritofbuddha @getosangie @freyafriggafrey

[more-than-tender-curiosity]

If Nick’s family is overbearing enough that they all had to come together to allow Nick to go to New York then I’m sure they’re a pretty good family.

A snobby family, sure, but there’s love there. They hug and kiss, give gifts on Christmas, and have lovely traditions but half of the stuff out of their mouth would make you want to punch them in their face and hope they bleed.

Nick Carraway is an odd man so he must’ve been raised by an odd family. Jay Gatsby is odd enough, and anxious enough, that he’s adored by Nick’s aunts while Nick’s uncles are indifferent. Nick’s father loves him and Nick’s mother hates him. Nick’s cousins love him, their nieces don’t know what to think because Jay Gatsby doesn’t know what to do with children and panics every time he’s left alone with them, and that’s about all I can say.

Daisy is the darling of the family and Nick is like the puppy. Or, at least, in their eyes he is. They simply ignore the fact that this man is grown and has gone to war (WW1). Maybe because Jay is more of a puppy than him that’s why half of the family loves him (and the other half doesn’t because they’re cat people)

No like I totally agree about Nick’s family infantilizing him. Like he is 29 years old, a war veteran, college educated, and still has to get everybody’s opinion to move away from home despite having already done so once for college?

I guess they expected him to come home and stay home forever after New Haven.

And then his dad so automatically unsure in his ability to support himself that he just. Gives him a whole YEAR of rent and utilities and whatever? Maybe Nick will have to pay him back but still. That move has always served to betray both how comfortably wealthy Nick’s family really is (and thus Nick himself even if he’s cosplaying poor) and how little faith they have in him to serve as an active participant in his own life—to the point where he can’t hold down a relationship AND it might even have prevented him from engaging more with the whole Gatsby issue and possibly saving Jay. He can say he didn’t really care about it all at the time but we obviously know all the little context clues to prove that he did—but when you’re so unconfident in your own ability to change the world around you, why bother?

Like that’s the whole tragedy of it. Nick’s forced to reckon with the fact that he has some blame in this after a whole lifetime of people just cleaning up after him like he’s a kid and not handing him any real responsibility. He has to face that he was at least partially responsible for Myrtle and Wilson and Jay, because even if he was a passive participant, he was still a participant. It’s a reality he’s never had to face before so naturally he blamed Tom and Daisy and society and Wolfshiem and even Jay, a little bit, for being too much of a dreamer for the waking world, because he couldn’t accept that life isn’t just something that happens to you, but you are living.

That sort of avoidance doesn’t just happen, you know? His family no doubt did that to him. And I think a lot of that is Fitzgeraldian in nature.

But on the topic of COUSINS!!!!!

MAGGIE CARRAWAY STEP ON DOWN !!!!!!!!!

No I just love her. She’s Nick’s cousin in the More Than Tender Curiosity series, particularly introduced in Fugue for a Flapper. She’s the only cousin that’s close enough to Nick’s age to have ever looked up to him and she’s pretty cool. Bi queen. Aspirational girlie. Too many aspirations actually and no talent except at just being loveable. She’s like the opposite of Nick in that she tries to do too many aspirations at once and never gets good at any of them, whereas Nick is like. Trying at something (bonds) for the first time in his life (because most of his other interests are not things he feels safe pursuing, like poetry,, and men,,,.)

Yeah if you want to see a hint of my ideas at Nick and Jay’s interactions with Nick’s family, that series is a good place to start. Right on Time will include a more modern take on Nick’s interactions with his family too once a couple of them arrive for a certain event.

[dumbblondesposts]

As per popular demand (literally 12 votes) I'm getting into what can be considered the controversial aspect of klayley

Or What the show failed to address

This is really also a character study for my girl Hayley all at once in regards to how her overlooked trauma affected her relationships ( because I love @bloodsoakedfangs )

Hayley never knew her family all she's aware of is that they gave her up, and her adoptive parents simply kicked her out at the young age of 13 I believe after finding out what she is,

She's an abandoned little girl forced to roam the streets on her own, that is both absolutely terrifying and very risky, there's no limits to what she might have gone through and seen as both a kid but also a girl if we're being realistic, which is a direct cause of her hyper independence, she was forced to rely on herself completely since childhood

Now in regards to Klaus, when she meets him, despite the disdain she understandably has for him there's also attraction, one she's fully aware of and okay with, she knows he's a horrible person but she's also self aware enough to know she's no better

So despite everything he's done to her friends including Tyler it wasn't enough to stop her from succumbing to that attraction, and as she herself states in ep 1, it's pretty common for her to go for that type of men

Straight forward to 1x02, the episode that pretty much seals the deal, so for a starter this will go into sensitive issues but unlike the writers I'm not going to sugarcoat it, but you can leave idk

Klaus is in fact very unstable, any slight provocation sends him off the rails, he has severe ptsd as a result of the abuse he endured and clearly suffers from abandonment issues, and that's not to justify or excuse anything he's ever done but rather it serves partially as an explanation for why he is the way he is , you CANNOT honest to God expect him to be able to be in or maintain a healthy relationship,

Similarly to hayley , who also suffers from abandonment issues and doesn't have a healthy perception of love or relationships which is why she always sabotages any healthy relationship she's in and ends up constantly running back to Klaus and giving her all in her quest for the family she fantasizes of finally having

Her reaction to what he does in that episode is when you see the trauma bonding part

He physically assaults her, almost killing her both and the baby in response to what he perceived as a threat of "leaving him" or pretty much being able to easily "take away" that fantasy he too has of a family he secretly wished for, to have something he can truly call his own, and maybe even heal what Mikael broke in him which is ironically why he got angry, she hit him where it hurts, the "kill her and the baby" was bullshit and how furious he was when she almost left him proves it, he was both worried he's being played by the witches AND scared of failing this child the way his father did, (he liked hayley too much to do shit to her as tvd proved already if he was ever careless about her she would've been gone by tvd 4x16 instead of him genuinely risking his life and his family's to just have dinner with her and then willingly let her go without her providing the life or death info she's nonchalantly holding back)

Even next morning when he tries to make up for what he did in his own way, he asks why she didn't just "leave him" and that he deserved it, by that point he calmed down, is clearly regretful and knew what he did had nothing to do with hayley, he was angry with himself

Hayley's reaction (who's very straightforward and dangerously bold, something Klaus admired in her since the beginning) to a violent man being To smile at him the very next morning, casually talk to him , being happy when he offers to do something as decent as fixing the air conditioning

is if anything a sad testament to how she's holding on to any crumb of affection he has to offer, to that dream of a family she never had growing up.

And throughout the first two seasons he still never learns, he still willingly puts her and THEIR child in mortal danger again in 1x06 because unsurprisingly he's jealous of Elijah's interest in her

She calls him horrible for it as she should and says Elijah is infinitely better than him but when he forces her to go back home and shuts off Elijah and Rebekah, her reaction (5x08) is to tell him that after ALL THAT, she wants to believe in him, and to not fail her, and is once again happy he agrees to get rid of the dead bodies he left to rot in the the middle of the compound ????

Her acknowledgement of him putting her and his child at risk twice because he's "a notorious Psycho" as she called him and that Elijah is a good man but at the same time staying with him after almost just leaving and still settling for whatever decency he may provide at some point

It's classic trauma bonding, where after anything horrible he does that throws her off he does something "nice" that makes her believe he may change, it might be worth it. Hence, the "I want to believe in you" it's not that she has a good reason to believe in him, it's that she desperately wants him to be what she sees in Elijah

And ultimately it's not even that she wants him to be better, she had Elijah, she had Jackson but it didn't stop her from bending over backwards for Klaus of all people but leaving Elijah whenever she has to put in any bit of work

Elijah and Jackson's sole appeal was that they loved her greatly, she felt loved, they were easy to love, they were good but when it came to putting in the work to make these perfectly healthy relationships work she dips, but all her energy is invested in a situationship (the term fits here sorry 😭) where Klaus keeps bringing them back to ground 0,

She also despite having Elijah and Rebekah says she's "sure she'll be doing this alone" in regards to Klaus probably not being a traditional father

When Mikael calls him all sorts of vile things , which from Hayley's perspective are all valid, she should agree with him , instead she hates Michael, defends Klaus saying none of it is true and stops calling Mikael Klaus's father

This ties well with season 2 where hayley literally blames Klaus for all the people coming after hope, she could've left but she goes with the option of marrying Jackson and staying even as it drove Elijah away ( tbf she also married Jackson for him which is funny because she literally went on to marry the low maintainance guy because she simply didn't want to work for her relationship with Elijah despite killing herself for Klaus of all people)

She stays because Klaus asked her to after swearing up and down she's leaving when her daughter was almost murdered /blown to pieces in one day due to what she perceived to be Klaus's indirect fault but she didn't give a fuck about Elijah begging her not to leave AFTER Klaus took the heat for killing Aiden and finally pushing her over the limits

She has said prior to that , to Klaus's face, that she's leaving for good if he doesn't change his ways

So it's absolutely telling when it's proven Klaus was her main, sole even, tie to the mikaelsons including ELIJAH 💀, that when she felt like she's too sick of his shit she ditches everyone FOR GOOD

She finds comfort in him and only him at her lowest, pushing Elijah away and only getting better when it's Klaus telling her she's family and boosting her confidence,

Same exact things Elijah said, except it's coming from the person that truly matters to her, she doesn't yell,she actually sits down and listens to him and eventually he's the only person to understand her and successfully gets her out of crippling depression and self loathing, as Elijah himself noted ironically

Hayley defends him abandoning her and hope,to go commit mass murder somewhere else, tells him she won't give up on him,writes him countless letters to tell him she misses him and she wouldn't have wanted anything to be different , including all her trauma mind you, because it led them to having hope together, something she wouldn't have changed

Now keeping everything he did especially in season 1 and 2 in mind,and her having other romances, she tells Klaus she wouldn't change the fact he's hope's father

That's how dedicated she was to him

Hayley did NOT love Elijah, she was attracted to him sure, he was first to show her kindness at a time she needed it most, especially from klaus

And he made her feel loved, something she craved

When it was easy she welcomed it but he wasn't worth staying for, fighting for or even getting to know given they both did not know or like each other beyond the romanticized version

What she had for Klaus,{ while for all the wrong reasons since she wasn't one with a healthy understanding of love due to trauma and abandonment, } was unconditional love, she knew exactly what he was, how vile and sadistic he can be, is a first hand witness to all of what he can be too but it made her attachment to him and the sacrifices she was willing to make for him all the more stronger,

It's the "show don't tell" version of the all consuming devotion d*lena and the other ships failed to have

Mainly because they're both similar in the way that they were both fucked up individuals, both self aware and know they aren't good people and both desperate for love, love that truly sees them for what they are but doesn't shy away from it, it's why she's the ONLY love interest he calls family, and family as he describes is above all others, worth everything, the only constant for him,more reasons why it's very dumb to say he loved any other woman more than her .

Klaus and hope (being two faces of the same coin for her) are the single most important people to hayley,above literally everyone else , the two people she spared a glance before offing herself

The ones she fought tooth and nail for,risked everything for on multiple occasions

Hayley was a complicated character, she's damaged and all she knew from others was abuse and abandonment

It's why Klaus is familiar, safe, her comfort zone

She uses the two healthy relationships she has to feel better about herself, discards them when it's convenient but does ALL that, endures all that from a man who's treatment of her is typical, why she defends him and risks everything for him and is more than happy with the tiniest bit of love he has for her can be summarized in trauma bonding and "daddy issues" , he's an older guy with all the power here , he's emotionally unavailable, unpredictable and quite violent but occasionally calls her with an endearing nickname "little wolf" and can be soft with her, why while she revels in pissing him off and challenging his authority he's the only man she keeps running back to and can actually get her to listen to him when no one else can

While, like she herself says even when she hates the living shit out of him for all the ways he hurts her (out of love from his perspective) she can't help but love him

They're basically a match made in hell, they have no limits to what they'd do for each other, and out of every other one of their ships they're the only ones with an actual relationship where they fully see, understand, accept and love each other no matter how heinous they can be

And if anything it makes sense because at that point they were both too far gone to know what healthy love looks like

They develop at season 3 but that's a different convo

The main point is that I can still talk about their relationship because it was actually written surprisingly well despite the neglect and are very,very complex and multi layered outside of classical and empty romance

Klayley, through hope, what the show was built around and who they are as characters was pretty much a part of the show's heart and core all while integrating romantic elements without it becoming their sole defining characteristic

Something you can't say about the other romantic relationships in the show

[marley-manson]

Crusader is SO good, god.

Like it's a tragedy that Najara's second appearance was such a character-assassinating downgrade, instead of her becoming a recurring antagonist and foil to Xena, posing difficult to answer moral questions and tempting Gabrielle. But this episode in and of itself is easily one of my faves.

Like first of all it's a fantastic gay love triangle. it's poignant, with Xena sad but willing to leave Gabrielle with Najara at first, because she thinks Najara will be better for Gabrielle. And she might not be wrong! Like not only do we have the vision of Gabrielle's death at Xena's side to contend with, but Xena tried to murder Gabrielle once before, and this episode brings that up. Xena has had other moments of losing her shit and hurting Gabrielle too, physically and emotionally - The Reckoning, The Price, as well as at least one future episode. Najara, as seen in this episode, is the safer choice of girlfriend, even with her own moral ambiguities. It's emotional, it's interesting, it kicks ass when they beat the shit out of each other over Gabrielle... A+

And as a foil for Xena, Najara is fantastic. I love that this episode ends on an ambiguous note. Xena and Gabrielle aren't fans of Najara's executing people if they don't repent thing, and it is morally quite dark. But Najara isn't wrong when she points out that Xena kills people constantly herself, and that local justice systems leave something to be desired. You can't turn a slaver over to a government that supports slavery, and most "governments" in Xena's setting don't seem to be the fair trial type anyway.

Like yeah Najara's methods are fucked up and I personally think killing in the heat of battle is more justifiable than executing prisoners, but it's a worthwhile discussion.

I love that it ends with Najara steadfast, pointing out that the slavers Xena delivered to "justice" will probably get off with a bribe, and denying that she massacred a village, the thing Xena turned her over to the authorities for (and considering she tells the truth about everything else this episode, even the less savoury things, I think we're meant to believe her.)

And I loooove that the episode really leans into Xena's moral ambiguity. The scene where she returns for Gabrielle is set up to hide the fact that Gabrielle's endangerment at Xena's hands is a ruse from the audience as well as Najara. We can figure it out ofc, partially through LL's slightly hammy performance lol, but the possibility that she has legitimately snapped is left open for a while, and it's not completely impossible to believe after the episode has just reminded us that Xena once tried to murder Gabrielle. We know Xena can go to some pretty dark places, and this scene is a great reminder of that, to keep us on edge, and make us wonder for a moment who Gabrielle is better off with.

And then imo the best moment of the episode: Xena has defeated Najara, she's dangling by her fingers off the edge of a pit, and Xena looks down at her and then steps on her fingers. Not a threat, not a mean 'gotcha,' but a full weighted step before Gabrielle tells her to stop and Xena relents and pulls her up. Like, after making a whole moral issue over Najara executing helpless prisoners instead of turning them over to the local authorities to be tried, Xena then proceeds to actively attempt to murder a helpless Najara in cold blood, because - one assumes - she's still jealous of her bond with Gabrielle.

I love it so much.

Honestly if Najara was actually Middle Eastern rather than the show just appropriating the aesthetic for a white woman (and if the camera wasn't bizarrely zoomy during the fight scenes lol) this would be a perfect episode imo.

[kowarth]

Osgood's Nightlight: a ramble of thoughts on hopeful symbolism in Cosmosgate

Last night I completed my latest reread of Technically Write's "My Cosmos is Yours" through to Chapter 41. As always, I highly recommend it even though I have biased myself by falling in love with thier carefully curated lyrical prose. You can thank me later and avoid spoilers by doing that now.

All done? Wasn't that a fantastic 40+ hours?

Anyways, right there, in amongst everything else happening in c41 is the introduction of Osgood's TARDIS Nightlight. It bathes the entire midnight of the chapter in streaks of blue grading with convenient yellow highlights which the cinematographer in my head adored.

It's a lovely little touch at Osgood's fangirl credentials that she has one.

But UNIT exists in a universe where the Doctor is a grey area of conspiracy theory/folk hero/folk horror / startling top secret fact. Police boxes existed, as they did in the real world, but even etsy might struggle to find a market for led street furniture ornaments.

So, it's safe to infer that Osgood, a genius across multiple fields who at this point still idolises the Doctor (even if the one she has met was a bit of a loon) made that herself.

These stories are supposed to take place before "Day of the Doctor" which introduced the brunette genius to her adoring public. So why make a TARDIS Nightlight?

Nightlights exist to make one feel safe in the dark. Osgood hasn't really shown a lot of issues with the dark up to this point but an awful lot has happened to her in recent weeks.

When Kate, Sarah and the Dr visit in C14 no mention is made of the device. But it is daytime and unlikely to be lit.

Unless it doesn't exist yet.

And if it is crafted by Osgood, why would she choose to do so after c14?

From here on, the action elements ramp up as the events of 3 boxsets of audio impact on our hero's. Critically, all four major trauma epsodes have issues of light.

First, after being blown up on a submarine, Osgood is assaulted by the Silurians fear device causing her to hide amongst corpses while hallucinating a cave. Her escape from those events involve swimming through a natural cave structure while not quite herself.

Secondly, Peru. The sunglasses she used in her disguise have mostly been represented so far in the story as a barrier to Kate communicating with her. But it places her in the dark, and shortly thereafter we learn she has been suffering from recurring nightmares about those events.

It is here, in the frozen weeks where she is avoiding Kate, that I suggest she has constructed her Nightlight.

Why not buy one though? In 2012 even a good led Nightlight would have been around £5.

I surmise that it goes back to disguise. That's what the Police Box is, after all. A disguise that's gone a bit wonky. A comfort in the dark. This is still the osgood that cowers on the floor of the undergallery chanting 'The Doctor will save me.' to herself. Right up until she finds the ability to save not only herself but Kate in short order.

It also ties into the essence of the DOTD script. That the TARDIS is an avatar of safety and hope.

"You know that sound the tardis makes?" "Yes?"

"That wheezing groaning sound brings hope, wherever it goes."

Thirdly, her concussion at the hands of fake Sontarans immediately opens with a light sensitivity issue. For her own safety she needs to stay in the dark, instantly forming a bond between the dark and the pain of not only the initial injury but the ensuing memory loss which is still being felt in this very chapters flashback!

Finally, like the sunglasses, the VR headsets used to partially convert her to the cyberiad's way of thinking, place her as much in the dark as the sunglasses had. Escaping the headset Osgood crawls under a desk, out of the light.

When C40 opens and we catch up to Osgood at home her safe space is lit by one lamp on the floor throughout the chapter but she is still hiding in a dark she would otherwise actively avoid. Is this a self imposed punishment?

Kate asking to stay evokes relief and yet...

The Nightlight goes on.

It's not just for Osgood, she tells Kate that the option to turn it off is hers.

It's symbolism therefore, returns to one of Hope.

Kate Stewart has the power, in that instant, to turn out that hope.

Without realising it, perhaps, she chooses to leave that light on. To watch her beloved Osgood sleep.

Hope, against the darkness.

And thats why I love this work so passionately. Every syllable is deftly handpicked for the most eloquent of reasons.

It's also why the gap between chapters, thanks to existence of life itself, is trivial.

Great art takes time.

Thank you for reading if you made it this far

[sincerestarlight]

The Introverts Guide to The Meaning of Life.

Yeah the title is a bit grandiose but I like it.

This is coming from a place where I wanted to be able to help people. I don’t always know the best words to express what I think when I speak but lately I’ve wanted to work in a space where I could just speak at length about what I feel I’ve learned in my life. About how I think and relate to people and the world at large. And I wanted to do so in a space I felt would maybe be seen and help a person or two.

Hence I made the decision to come to Tumblr.

Call it Madness or Wisdom, you’re still probably right.

So this is going to be my partial diary, partial wisdom blog, partial hard record for whatever therapist wants to look at me down the road. Hopefully they appreciate the documentation.

So I guess the first thing I want to kinda dwell on is, as the caterpillar asks…

Who are you?

TBH I think about this question a lot. Sure I can answer with my name, and that’s indeed who I am in society, but where I begin questioning is who I am to myself.

To anyone who is reading this, Lils is fine.

One of the things I’ve always had a problem with is trying to describe myself. The concept of ice breaking activities fills me with dread, or more commonly these days it’s the ominous “tell me some of your strengths and weaknesses”.

Whoever came up with that question needs to be sentenced to having to use the bathroom on stage in front of an audience.

Seriously there are no good answers to that question! If you say to many good things, or those good things in the wrong way, you’re perceived as arrogant. If you say to many negative things, you lack confidence, or worse they lowball you in pay cause they think you won’t fight back.

And the thing is that you should have confidence in yourself! We are in a big old universe that, as far as we know, stretches on for immeasurable lengths, distances where you can only measure in how many years it would take light to reach it *and it can still be millions of years*

On top of that matter that had at one point just been floating in the void floated into each other *so hard* that it became a giant floating rock. Then this rock managed, through scientific fuckery, make water! An atmosphere! *Fucking Life*. And whatever you think about *what* made life, the fact is that from there, millions of years passed, dinosaurs happened, then they stopped, then humans. Greece, Rome, Wars, and all that time has led to you.

You.

And then fuckin life happens.

Oh yeah, it’s a miracle but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck a whole bunch of nards. Christ almighty, it’s a miracle when a kid makes it out of high school without some form of lasting trauma. And then we mold ourselves around that trauma, in the worst case passing those issues onto the next generation.

Why bring up trauma? Well I think that’s why I have a problem with the initial question of who I am.

I used to really like ice breaking activities when I was younger. I always saw them as an opportunity to make friends, maybe if we have similar likes or interests, one of the peeps in my new class will like it too, and we can bond over it and then boom, friend made. So a lot of times, I would talk about what I liked, or things I learned from properties that I liked. It seldom worked the way I expected, but again, stories for another time.

That was my safe spot you know? The things that I liked. I knew those. Give me two options and I can tell you what one I prefer. Tv shows? No problem. Video games? Piece of cake. Sportsball games? I might not be super into them but I can tell you what team I prefer over a different one, even if it’s just based on their uniforms or mascot game.

But then everything changed when the question did.

See, you *have* to go to school. You *have* to do your homework. For stricter upbringings like mine you *have* to get good grades. Living within those confines is it’s own form of comfort. You know what you’re going to do, the question was doing it in a fashion that you like. And after many years of picking between Pokémon starters, that was an easy task. But then one day, maybe later than other people, I wasn’t asked “what do you like”

I was asked “what do you want to do.”

For some people, that question is easy. They know what they want to do. Doctors, artists, scientists, parents, people know what they want to do and the most tenacious of us make it with jobs in their chosen field and I am genuinely thrilled for people who follow their passion. But when I was addressed with that question, I froze. Want was never included in my world up to that point. There were things that sure, if I had complete freedom and unlimited money I’d like to do, but being invested in anything like that was merely fantasy. Sure, being able to lie on the beach in a nice chair with a book in hand sounds like paradise but it’s not really a realistic goal. Same with world domination.

After that I struggled…a lot. I started learning about the things that I like, maybe I could refine down what it was that I liked about them and magically, like an epiphany, I would see the thing that would make me happy, the passion and determination that others had when it came to their craft. But nothing came. I got a retail job after that and spent a good long time basically chasing that next bit of Serotonin. Nothing dangerous but definitely not good for my mental health. If passion wasn’t in my future the least I could hope for would be comfort.

Then I moved into my own place. I had a job that could (barely) afford, and then I looked around and said “well. Now what?”

That was the goal. Self sustainability. And I don’t mean to sound dour about the whole thing, it’s an accomplishment that I am proud of, but a ghost loomed over my head. The concept that now that I am self sustainable, what did I want to do? Obviously there are limits, but now I could exist beholden to no one but myself and…I didn’t know what to do with it. I still don’t. and it’s felt very lonely. Lonely because I feel this bright passion inside of me and I have no way to share it. No way for it to exist in this world.

I don’t know what I want to do but I want to do something.

I want to live my life in joy

I want to love whomever I want at my own pace

I want to be passionate and excited and run into the future with the confidence of the ball of conscious stardust that I am.

And even if no one reads this, writing it down helped a lot. The fact that the very thought exists somewhere helps.

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

A Hall of Shame Ask

Remember this little segment I introduced during our last big asks post? I though this anon ask deserves its own post belonging to the Hall fo Shame series/segment. Most of the question was redacted because it just repeats things we’ve already talked about a million times, and also in several previous posts, and really, I’m just tired of talking in circles. If you need constant “proof” of two members being close in a way that you think is sufficient, I’m sorry but perhaps vmin (their bond and dynamic) just isn’t for you. 

So instead I focused on the two parts that made me mad.

From anon: Tae not posting (REDACTED) Tae lashing out today proves something is under his skin.

I’m sorry anon, but like I said before, while I try to never let asks make me mad, even the really stupid or degrading (toward the members or us) ones, this one just made me see absolutely red because that final part shows you completely didn’t understand why Tae was mad. And the fact that it has absolutely nothing to do with vmin or ships in general (except for the shippers who used the rumor as argument to prove their ship instead or some complete nonsense like that which was f*cked up to say the least). I’m sorry if this might come across as a bit mean or something, but enough is enough, you know?

Birthdays are treated publicly when it comes to Bangtan (and idols/celebs in general) in so far that the members usually post something for whichever member has his birthday on twt or weverse, but we should remember that those posts? They aren’t for the birthday boy, I mean, they partially are, but mainly they are for us. Do you really believe Tae didn’t go to Jimin and wish him a happy birthday in person? And if him not posting on Jimin’s birthday means he, what, doesn’t love him anymore, I guess that means Tae also doesn’t like Seokjin or JK anymore, and JK doesn’t like Namjoon or Jimin (he didn’t post last year as far as I remember and didn’t post this year either) anymore either. Or Jimin doesn’t like Namjoon anymore since he didn’t post on the day of Namjoon’s actual birthday.

I guess that means I must hate all my friends and they hate me since we don’t post for our birthdays on sns either. Sns posts aren’t the be all, end all of showing your friendships and bonds with people. 

Do I need to remind you of what Tae did for Seokjin’s birthday last year instead of making a twt? Or for Jimin’s? If he did that last year, is it really so hard to imagine he most likely did the same this year as well, as in found a different way to wish him a happy birthday that didn’t involve us? Jin’s gift for Jimin, the pine mushrooms, existed even before Jimin told us about it and would’ve continued to exist even if he hadn’t said anything to us.

As for Tae “lashing out”, this absolutely is the worst take possible. What Tae did wasn’t lashing out. It was showing his anger over something that was made an issue even though it absolutely didn’t need to be one, and he has every right to show he’s pissed (and hurt). I know it’s typical for idols to just take every blow given and then go and apologize for dating rumors, like they’re not allowed to be loved and feel love for and from anyone other than their fans or something, like they’re not even allowed to breathe next to and exist in the same space as a human of the opposite gender. But instead Tae showed he is angry, and it’s not even the first time he made it clear that there are boundaries he doesn’t want to see crossed. So in that sense, yes, something is under his skin. The invasion of his privacy.

Lashing out implies that his action wasn’t justified. That’s wrong. It was justified in every imaginable way, and instead of trying to connect nonexistent dots to make this “vmin is over” proof, maybe instead focus on the actual issue at hand, yes? Not everything any of the members do, not every emotion they feel, is connected to a ship. Especially not in a situation like this.

In a follow up to this post, a different anon also made a great point so I thought I’ll add this in as well: 

From anon: I think, too, that people might miss the fact that Tae might be mad not only on his behalf, but also on HERS. This person he was rumored to be dating also had their privacy invaded and their life affected. It’s highly likely given the toxic behavior of many fans that she received death threats or the like. I’d be mad as hell and annoyed if it was just an invasion of my privacy, but if I got wind of people going after someone I cared about in any capacity IN MY NAME? I’d be livid. Two people are affected by any dating rumor and neither of them ever deserve the invasion of privacy nor the backlash that comes when “fans” think they have a right to share any opinion at all with either party.

[royalequeenofships]

HSMTMTS Season 3 Predictions and Character Analysis

Ricky & Nini:

Ricky and Nini have a complicated relationship. I feel like they have the whole dynamic of “right person, wrong timing” vibe. They have chemistry and a bond with each other. However, for them to grow as a couple, they really need to have character development first. Nini really needs to figure herself out and who she truly wants to be and figure out her dreams and how she wants to pursue them. We had the whole YAC arc in season 2, where she goes there because she thought it was something that she wanted, but she realized that YAC was not truly what she wanted and isn’t what makes her happy. So, she’s slowly trying to figure herself out with independence and not relying on anyone except herself. In Season 1, most of her moments were with Ricky, with only the YAC arc really showcasing her independence, but her reliance on others in season 1 and parts of season 2. For example, Kourtney was the one who submitted her application to YAC, and partially her reasons for coming back to East High were also her relationship with her friends and Miss Jenn. Also, the fact that Carlos posted her song online, and she asked Ashlyn for help to write “Ain’t see nothing.” However, in episode 11 and 12, really starts showcasing her independence and stop relying on others for her journey. She BECOMES the one other people rely on, she hypes everyone up for their performances and is really figuring herself out and blossoming like the Rose. It is a great metaphor for Nini’s journey, and the fact that she herself calls Jamie’s brother instead of other people doing it for her, really makes it more special. Gina could’ve easily called her brother and be like “Oh yeah I have this friend who’s a great songwriter, yadda yadda.” But she does it herself, which is really great. Now with Ricky. Many people would agree with the fact that he truly does need therapy. He needs to learn how to handle change, and dare I say, realizing that other people are more important in his life. Personally, I felt like Ricky was very selfish this season. Last season, he was being selfish as he broke up with Nini because he couldn’t say I love you, and once school started again, he wanted Nini back so badly, but he proved himself worthy at the final episode when he stops being Troy to give Nini a chance to perform for YAC. However, this season once he and Nini are back together again, he was being selfish and thinking of himself again. When Nini goes to YAC, all he could really think about was how HER leaving was affecting him and his relationship with her.

For example, he would ask Gina for help on HIS own relationship, and sending Nini the message of how much he missed her and wishes she would be there because HE misses her so much. And thinking that Nini came home for him and him only. Plus, he thinks that the rose song that she wrote was SPECIFICALLY related to him, and then the whole situation with Miss Jenn and his dad, in which he was only thinking about himself and his feelings, with no regards to theirs. However, in episode 10, he finally stops being selfish and really opened his eyes to his surroundings, as he helped Carlos with his song for Seb. I hope this development continues, and once he realizes that he needs to stop being selfish, and is able to handle change and mature as a person, then maybe the Rini ship can happen once again. Another thing I’ve noticed about their “angst” in season 2 was the long-distance relationship, especially in episode 3. Although, Ricky and Nini were in the same city, throughout the episode, it still felt like they were going long-distance, which was probably foreshadowing their breakup. They only communicated through their phones that episode, and even at the end, their songs for each other wasn’t sang in person, but through the phone. As for predictions on the Rini relationship, I think that if Tim only plans on 3 seasons, then Rini will probably get back together at the end of Season 3, but if he has 4 seasons planned (which I am hoping for), then Rini will probably get back together then. Now we also have to take into consideration the career of Olivia Rodrigo. We do not know if she wants to continue with HSM, and even she herself is not sure. What I think will happen is, if Olivia decides she wants to take her music career to the next level, I think a really easy way to write her out without breaking the contract, would be to have her travel to L.A. to work on her music for the summer, so that there will be reason as to why she is absent for most of the season. This will probably take 1 episode to do and Olivia can spend the rest of her time focusing on her music. However, if Olivia decides she still wants to work full time in this season, then she might stay in Salt Lake and do the musical and write some songs for Jamie, etc but personally I think Olivia would want to focus on her music more than the show, as she posts about it more on social media than the show, and even with interviews. Nini might return for the final episode when summer ends and the new school year starts, so Olivia might just be in like 2 episodes. That’s my take on Rini for now, we get back to Ricky later.

E.J. & Gina:

Portwell is literally my favourite ship of the series, and it is just amazing. I personally would not like to see any angst in their relationship next season, but honestly it is probably going to happen and here’s why. Their relationship was built really steadily and took a long time to flourish. With other couples, like Seblos, Redlyn and Kowie, they got together awfully fast, taking 2-3 episodes to truly get together. So, the angst that those couples go through gets resolved rather quickly. Seblos with their relationship gets solved within 1-2 episodes, for the whole “does he like me because im the only gay one” storyline. Redlyn has the whole “Antoine” situation (which I will get back to later) and the “Red’s future” which again, took 1 episode to resolve. And Kourtney and Howie took 1-2 episodes to resolve the whole “Howie is from North high” and “Why Howie seems weird”. The reason is because those couples got together really quickly, and therefore their angst can be easily resolved through that, and wouldn’t really take time to fix. As you can see, Rini took a while to really get together. They were childhood friends off screen and we get to see their past relationship through flashbacks in season 1, but technically they took around 10 episodes to fully get back together. They have their cute., fluffy episodes for the first 4-5 episodes of season 2, but then their angst slowly starts to build at episode 5-6. It drags on until episode 8 where they fully break up, and counting episode 9 with their take on how they’re handling the breakup, so that’s around 5 episodes worth of angst for the couple that took 10 episodes to get together. So, with Portwell, they’ve technically been building them up at the end of season 1, but we’ll truly count the buildup starting from the Quincenero episode, which is episode 5, and they had 7 episodes worth of relationship buildup. So, I think, for the first 4 episodes, we’ll see some fluff and cute moments between the two when summer starts (and hopefully some kisses cuz like please I need to see at least one), but the angst will probably start in the middle of the season. It might take like around 4-5 episodes to fix, but I truly believe that they will not break up, and it will get resolved either near the final episode or the final episode of the season. Now for the REASON of their angst. I truly think the only “angst” worthy storyline is about EJ going off the college. As I can’t think of anything else that can topple their relationship. Firstly, EJ knows about the chocolates, which makes me think that he probably knows about Gina’s past crush on Ricky. Secondly, they resolved the whole “Big Brother” situation, and EJ knows that Gina doesn’t see her in that way. And the character development of E.J. and Gina. Back in season 1, they were arrogant and straight up ambitious people, who really don’t care about how others feel, but they truly changed as people in season 1 and 2, and had their character development moments. The contrast with them and Rini is that Season 1 focused on rini’s relationship development and season 2 and maybe 3 will really focused on their CHARACTER development. For Portwell, I think that would be flipped as they already had their Character development in season 1 and 2, so we probably will see their RELATIONSHIP development in season 3. So, since they already had their character development, I think it would be pointless to have unnecessary drama about their personalities or jealousy or whatnot, since they truly developed as people. So, the only thing I can possibly think of for their angst is EJ college arc. I know that they will probably fix it, but still I’m dreading to see it as I don’t want Portwell angst anymore. ☹ (ALSO PLEASE GIVE ME A PORTWELL DUET!! I NEED IT! Also, an EJ solo)

Ricky & Gina:

Personally, I do not ship Rina. I don’t think they would make a good couple; however, I think they would be really good friends. Someone they could confide in about their issues like Gina said “Sometimes I tell you things I don’t tell anyone else” and Ricky being like “I think we do that for each other.” We didn’t really get to see Ricky and Gina resolve their issues in season 2, partly because of Ricky’s character development. I am hoping to see in season 3, Ricky working on himself and fixing up his friendship with Gina. I think something that might happen is when Gina is going through her angst with EJ, and Ricky going through his own angst with Lily, they might be able to give each other advice and on how to handle it. However, PLEASE for the love of God, do not drag the whole love triangle back, because we do not need it. Gina has truly gotten over Ricky, and Ricky never seeing Gina as someone for his romantic relationship anyways, and he really needs to work on himself more, they should not be together as a couple. However, I do hope that they amend their friendship and is able to confide in each other once more, which I think will be cool and really help with Ricky’s character development.

Ricky & Lily:

Now this one. We know they will not be endgame, and I am 90% sure of the fact that Lily does not have romantic feelings for Ricky. Sure, she might find him attractive (and I mean who can blame her, Joshua Bassett is gorgeous), but she definitely does not like him in that way. We can see it when she “confesses” to him, she said to him “I like your brown hair and brown eyes” which are all physical descriptions of him, nothing about his personality which makes sense because she barely knows him, so how could she develop feelings for someone she doesn’t know. She has also stolen the harness, so we know that there would be no way that she likes him, and at the end of season 2, we don’t even get to see her feeling guilty about doing it, because she likes him. So that definitely setting in stone on how she’s only using him and manipulating him. Now for Ricky, yes you might be thinking “oh he’s calling her, why?” But Ricky does not know what we know. He was not there when Lily was talking to Gina about their roles as Belle, he was not there when Lily was laughing at Big Red, he was not there when she had a conversation with Miss Jenn, and he was not there when she planned with Antoine and when she stole the harness. In Ricky’s eyes, the reason that she was so mean to them is because of the Menkies, and their schools were enemies and rivals for it. He doesn’t know about Lily’s evil and ambitious side, and he believes that the Menkies might have made her that way. For example, he knows that the Menkies has turned Miss Jenn into someone different and a little bit mean, so he assumed the same for Lily, and when she asked for a second chance, Ricky gave it to her as he didn’t know. I feel like for the first couple of episodes, it will show Lily and Ricky “bonding” or getting to know each other, but Lily lying about the whole situation and really planning something behind his back, but we don’t know what yet. Maybe Ricky will be like “Huh, she’s a cool person, I’m starting to like her.” But then figuring out her plan, and finding out that she stole the harness. He then will be very upset and kind of heartbroken as he gave her a chance and she was only manipulating him the whole time. Maybe then, his character development will continue to grow and he will realize that he does not need to be in a relationship right now, and that he needs to work on himself and mature as a person. And I think him and Lily’s “relationship” will be a strong pushing point that he needs.

Seb & Carlos:

Now Seblos is one of my favourite ships in the show, and I love them to bits and pieces. However, as regarding their relationship, I feel like they have already resolved all their angst in season 2, it will be hard to make up angst for them in season 3, if they ever have one. I would like to say this though, I knew there was going to be angst for them in season 2, but the way they built it up, I thought the angst would be about how Carlos’ family is really rich, and Seb can’t compare because he lives on a farm, and it might make him self-conscious. Cause that’s where it seemed to be leading in the first few episodes of Season 2 (the sled, cashmere etc.). However, they brought a completely different angst to them which I thought was pretty surprising. Personally, I think they should’ve done the “class/money” difference in season 2, and then maybe the whole “why are you with me” angst for season 3, but maybe they MIGHT switch it around for season 3, and have the whole “class/money” difference then. Although, that’s probably the only “issue” I see for them ever, cause they’re a power couple and like what other angst could there be? Maybe they’ll introduce a new love interest but I highly doubt it because they already resolved the “I choose you always” in season 2. So, hoping there’s no Seblos angst, but if they do decide to throw in one, that might be the one they’ll do.

Big Red & Ashlyn:

Again, Redlyn is one of my favourite ships and they’re just so amazing. However, their storyline is hopefully again, all fluff for season 3, but one thing I realised that they didn’t really resolve in season 2 was the whole “Antoine” storyline. After episode 7, they never really talked about it again and introduced the new angst next episode with the whole “Career” thing. I feel like Antoine will be a more recurring character in season 3, as he only got like what? 10 minutes worth of screentime this season? (Maybe even less) and especially at the end as he joined Natalie in the final scene. So maybe there will be more of him in the next season, and slowly moving in on Ashlyn and making Big Red feeling like he’s not good enough, and then maybe Redlyn will FINALLY get their “I love you” confession then, because WE NEED IT! I’m manifesting for Redlyn “I love you” next season, and I think the whole situation with Antoine would be a nice way for Ashlyn to TRULY confirm to Big Red how much she loves him and how grateful she is for him, and vice versa. (Also manifesting for more EJ and Big Red friendship moments, like maybe Big Red goes for EJ for advice for his relationship with Ashlyn, and maybe EJ confiding in Big Red for Gina as well)

Kourtney & Howie:

As for Kourtney and Howie, they’re probably still going to work at the pizza shop together and continue to bond. A plot point that I think will be very interesting is maybe Kourtney trying to convince Howie to move to East High, but Howie kind of not wanting to, because he spent like 3 years there and it’s kind of his home. That might be a nice storyline to do, or it can be the opposite, where Howie is trying to transfer to North High, but Kourtney being worried like “Is he going to North High for me? I don’t want that, what if he hates it here”, but Howie confirming that he’s going to North High because the environment for him is better there and less competitive and toxic than North High. That might be a storyline that can happen for these two. I would also like for them to have a duet as well; I think Dara’s strong voice goes well with Roman’s soft voice and it would mesh well together.

Miss Jenn & Mr. Mazarra:

Now this one is a toughie, but I have some theories. Now we know that Ricky has given Miss Jenn permission to date his dad, which is another great character development for him, as he’s handling change and seeing other people’s happiness. However, as soon as he gave her permission, Mr. Mazarra confesses his feelings for Miss Jenn, which seemingly makes her happy, as we did get to see a little smile on her face when he did. Throughout Season 2, Benjamin was really the one comforting her, and giving her courage for the Menkies. We see it through episode 8, when he helped Miss Jenn film the commercial and how he put so much effort into making her coffee and setting up a table, just so she could relax. Same goes for episode 10, when she confides in him, and he acting like a therapist to her and accepting her anxious feelings, and helping her feel calmer and better. They are both opening up to each other. And I believe Miss Jenn truly appreciates him as a colleague and a friend. Now another moment is when Ricky’s dad comes to the show with flowers, and she was talking with Mr. Mazarra at the moment. When he called out her name, she smiles awkwardly and immediate turns to Mr. Mazarra saying something along the lines up “Why we always running into him?” and very awkwardly makes his way to him and you could tell she was slightly uncomfortable, with her awkward smiles and everything. This really contrasts from episode 3, where she herself walks up to Ricky’s dad and starts up a conversation, and how now, it is the other way around. Now, the whole problem of Mr. Mazarra leaving for Caltech. He confesses his romantic feelings to Miss Jenn, and really emphasizes on how she’s the only one who is stopping him from running off the California, which I believe that she is a big part of why, but also not fully. We really get to see Mr. Mazarra bonding with a lot of the students this season as well, E.J., Ricky, etc. I feel like he truly cares for his students, and in season 3, maybe he is thinking about if he really wants to stay in Utah for his students and of course, his budding relationship with Miss Jenn. Now, there was a scene in episode 4, where he was confiding to EJ about his rejection from Caltech. And he admits to EJ how he doesn’t think about Caltech very much anymore. He’s made his peace with it. This kind of mirrors EJ’s situation about Duke. EJ didn’t get into Duke from his own accord, but rather his dad got him in. Same can be said for Mr. Mazarra, EJ’s dad made the call for him for Caltech, and he didn’t really get in from his own as well, as he said previously, He was rejected many, many times. So maybe next season will really show him and his decision of staying at East High back in the fall, or leaving for Caltech. Now moving back to Miss Jenn. Next season, I feel like will focus on her and the students more, as this season, she was a really crappy teacher, and kept pushing them due to stress and wanting them to beat her ex at the Menkies. This season, I believe that she will return to the teacher that she was in season 1, and really focusing and hyping up the kids’ talents. I would love to see that Miss Jenn come back, and really help her students. Of course, the whole love triangle debacle will probably be fixed, I can maybe see Miss Jenn going out on a date with Ricky’s dad but thinking of Mr. Mazarra the whole time, and Ricky’s dad is a good man, so he might notice something is different about her, and tells her to go for it, her relationship with Mr. Mazarra before he moves or something. Also, since in season 2, we got to see Mr. Mazarra comfort Miss Jenn a lot, maybe this season will have Miss Jenn comforting Mr. Mazarra about Caltech, and if he truly wants to leave his students. Another thing I’d like to maybe see is Mr. Mazarra singing a song for Miss Jenn. We know that Mark St. Cyr has a good voice, as we saw from the Christmas special. So, him singing to Miss Jenn even though he doesn’t like musicals that much and all that, would show a lot of character development from Season 1.

Overall Plot:

Now, I have a few theories about summer. I’ve seen a lot of people saying they will go to a camp like “Camp Rock” which I think will be very likely to happen, and they put up a musical. What I can also see happening, is like High School Musical 2, where they go to a resort for work, and then putting up a musical there for the audience as well. Or they could just stay in Utah, and just relax for the summer, and not have any musical but just a lot of original songs about their summer in general and the stuff they’re going through. If they do a musical, I don’t think that they’ll do a musical from a movie or theatre, but rather write their own musical. I think it would be a really interesting concept, it can show us more imaginative and creative concept for a musical and have more original songs for the season. I would truly love to see that.

So that’s all for the character analysis and predictions I have for Season 3, sorry if it’s long lol

[moontheoretist]

When she and Tony Stark meet it is very clear that he was not expecting her there, “Jesus Christ, who the hell are you?” he asks, hand pressed to the space over his heart. His right arm is in a sling and that does not look good. “Is there something wrong with your arm?” she asks. It did not appear to be in a cast and she saw no bruising. His breathing was restricted though and that did not bode well either. She narrows her eyes at the thought of someone harming her King’s soul mate but she blinks, letting the anger go. Now was not the time or place. “None of your business, and you are?” he snaps, glaring at her suspiciously. “Dora Milaje,” she responds vaguely, “and I am here on the behalf of King T’Challa.” “T’Challa can fuck off,” Tony snarls viciously and her eyebrows shoot up. “Excuse me,” she says in a dangerous tone. Soul mate or not she would not allow him to insult her King. “Anyone who is involved with Steve Rogers is no use to me,” he snaps. Her eyebrows remain raised, “I understand that Steve Rogers has caused you pain, but I do not understand how that extends to King T’Challa,” she says calmly. Perhaps too calmly but Stark either does not understand the danger or he does not care. Stark rolls his eyes, “I’ve spent the last five years dealing with people who blindly follow Steve Rogers around like a bunch of fucking lap dogs, I don’t need to have one more person tell me that I can never compare. I know that. No need to have anyone else remind me,” he says bitterly, his lip curling up in disgust. That changed things. “I here because the King is not sure what to believe about you. He and the Dora Milaje agree that the information about you is too conflicting to draw a reasonable conclusion. So I am here to try and find the truth, to see what you’re really like. I must admit that I do not like you,” she says honestly. Perhaps the man would take the honesty well. He does not, instead he flinches hard but the expression is gone very quickly. “Great, then you’re just like everyone else. Go report back to your king, tell him I’m as worthless as everyone says I am,” Tony says, turning and walking towards his kitchen. “I do not like many people, that does not mean that you are not a good person. And my personal opinion of you means little when you are not meant for me,” she says. Tony’s shoulders tense at that but he turns slowly to face her. “What do you want to know?” He looks exhausted, like he hasn’t slept in days and she supposes that it is very likely that he has not. The man had chronic insomnia and she suspected it made his very obvious PTSD worse. The dismissals from everyone else around him, including his closest friends, probably did not help the situation. “Why did you support the Accords?” she asks bluntly. Cutting to the heart of the issue was what she was good at, and it saved her time and effort beating around the bush. “Steve told me that I needed to trust people, to listen to them. He was right, so when the opportunity came to listen I did, or at least I tired but apparently that wasn’t right either,” he snaps bitterly, that disgusted look back on his face. “You feel guilty for Ultron,” she says and it is not a question. He flinches at the bot’s name, he certainly felt guilty for being the creator of such chaos. “Of course I do, who the fuck wouldn’t? I nearly ended the world when I ran that program and I should have said something to someone,” he says. She finds that curious, his anger at Steve and his acceptance that Steve was right in his conclusions about his communication skills or lack thereof. “But you did talk to someone, Dr. Banner. I know that he is currently missing but surely you count your communication with him as something,” she says. Banner appeared to be the only Avenger who was not adverse to Tony. The two bonded over science and Tony’s lack of fear of him. “Lot of good that did,” Tony mumbles. “But you spoke to him and he agreed that it was a good enough idea to try,” she says. “So what if I did? Everyone blamed me for it anyways, might as well take the blame. Bruce said it could go wrong and I didn’t listen, I should have.” He leans against the counter and sighs heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Just because your team blamed only you does not mean it was fair. It is not like they are lacking in recklessness and stupidity themselves. What kind of moron releases a brainwashed assassin onto the world? Steve Rogers is very lucky that seems to have had no consequences. And his taking the word of Bucky Barnes as proof of five other Winter Soldiers was not wise either, the man hardly knows what is real and what is not, he is still partially under the control of HYDRA conditioning. Only a fool would take the man’s word at face value. I believe that your holding off until you found real proof of the Winter Soldiers’ existence made you the most intelligent and clear headed of the group, at least in that moment. The rest of the team has far too much faith in a man who is living in nostalgia. Bucky Barnes does not, nor will he ever, exist again as Rogers knew him. He should accept that,” she says bluntly. It was a harsh truth, yes, but a man would never be the same after a trauma like that. Rogers himself was more than likely not the same man he used to be so he should not expect Bucky to be. He should also accept the reality of that trauma on his friend because living in his memories was not going to help Bucky Barnes. Accepting reality, no matter how harsh, was the only way to help Barnes heal from his wounds. It would not be easy for anyone but it was the most beneficial. “You… think I’m the smartest and most clear headed of the group?” Tony asks, looking beyond shocked. “In that moment, yes. You are not without your mistakes but that was not one of them. Tell me more about why you chose to support the Accords,” she says. This time Tony pauses for a long time and she lets him gather himself. It was important to make an accurate judgment. Finally Tony looks up, “Steve was right about listening to people. Sometimes I go too fast and I don’t think things through right, I’ve done it time and time again, even when I was supporting the Accords. I’ll make a snap decision that looks good at the time but I don’t talk to the people I’m supposed to be helping, I just make a decision and assume it’s for the best when it isn’t. I had one hundred and seventeen countries telling me to slow down and stop and I didn’t think that was something I should ignore. They weren’t making unreasonable requests, they just wanted a say in how we ran things and you can’t help people if you aren’t willing to listen to what they need you to do. I’ve learned that now,” he says. “Rogers thinks the best hands are still your own, you do not agree?” she asks, curious. Tony rolls his eyes, “no, he thinks the best hands are still his own, not our own regardless of what he says. You saw what happened when someone said no, it didn’t line up with his beliefs and instead of reaching out and asking to change things, or asking why things looked the way thy did he threw the whole damn thing out. Besides, if we’re talking histories here I have a near one hundred percent fail rate. The best hands aren’t my own so I thought maybe if I had someone else vetting my decisions they might be better but if that person isn’t Steve Rogers Steve doesn’t think it’s good enough.” Harsh words, but they were mostly true. She, too, found the Captain too rigid in his values. “And the agendas he spoke of?” she asks. He was not wrong for being suspicious of the government. They were corrupt, as near all systems were outside of Wakanda and even there they had their issues. At this Tony looks down, “I put too much faith in a system I know doesn’t really work that well. But we aren’t apolitical people, we know what the UN’s agendas were, they were clearly written on paper and we could have worked with that, used it to our advantage. But the fuck if I know what their agendas are. Natasha flip-flops more than a fucking fish out of water, so does Clint, I have no idea what Wanda’s thinking, you already know what I think of Steve, and Sam… well he’s an alright guy. I think he’s an idiot for following Steve around like a lost bird but he’s a good man. I know I made mistakes but that bullshit letter Steve sent me proves he doesn’t care.” She did not read the letter so she is unsure what he is talking about, “would you care to explain?” she asks, trying to be gentle. The man was raw, in pain, and it was bound to end badly for him. She was sure she had her answers but she was curious about the letter and more information would not hurt. “Oh he’s glad I’m back on the compound, obviously I moved back out, but he doesn’t like to think of me being alone because the Avengers were more mine than his. Pretty sure the fact that they’ve all always hated me minus maybe Bruce indicates that that’s a bunch of shit but whatever. And he has faith in people, in individuals? Really? Because I didn’t see any of that faith when people, individuals, were reaching out to us to talk to them and he slapped them down because what they wanted wasn’t what he wanted. And he’s never had faith in me. Never. I find it really hard to accept that he gives a damn about hurting my feelings, especially when he’s always assumed that I didn’t have any. And his stupid ‘I wish we agreed on the Accords but we didn’t so fuck you’ at the end was a real nice touch. He might as well have wrote ‘lol everything before this was a joke because I don’t really care what you think was right, it wasn’t what I think is right so you’re wrong’. At least we can both agree that he was a selfish prick keeping my parents’ deaths to himself,” he mumbles. So Tony Stark fell somewhere in between his public image and someone she did not know. He was clearly emotional, in pain, and that was not going to go well for him but he was not a bad person. He was not what the Avengers thought he was either. “You’re parents’ deaths?” she asks. “Yeah, I mean I can’t keep secrets or so he reminded me about a million times with that Ultron bullshit, but he can keep the fact that Barnes killed my parents to himself. Guess all the shit I do is totally fine if he does the same damn thing. I don’t listen and accidentally create Ultron I’m a problem, and that’s fair, but he can ignore the whole fucking world and that’s totally A-Okay with him. I can’t keep secrets, but it’s fine if he does. I can’t be suspicious of government structures without being labeled ‘insubordinate’ and ‘arrogant’ but when he does it it’s fine!”

The Truth Never Set Me Free (I Did It Myself) by TenSpencerRiedPlease

[avengerscompound]

The Tower: Happily Ever After - 2

The Tower: Happily Ever After An Avengers Fanfic

Series Masterlist | Character Refrence PREVIOUS //

Pairing:  Avengers x OFC, Bruce Banner x Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton x Wanda Maximoff x Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff x Tony Stark x Thor x Sam Wilson x OFC (Elly Cooper)

Word Count: 1849

Warnings:  Pregnancy and minor language on chapter.

Synopsis: Almost 40 years after Elise Cooper first crashed into Natasha Romanoff outside the library at Columbia University, she and the Avengers are adapting to a near-immortal life together with their large brood of children.  Yet things aren’t perfect.  Life is moving on without them and they’re starting to discover who isolating being immortal can be.When Angela comes and asks Thor to take the throne of Asgard once more, the group leaves Earth in the hopes that they will find their Happily Ever After there.

Chapter 2: Anger Issues

When Marya returned home from school that day we were all ready to meet her.  Marya was sixteen years old, a little taller than I was, with dark hair and light brown eyes - just like Bruce.  Those weren’t the only things she’d inherited from her biological father.  She was extremely intelligent and had been skipped ahead a grade in school.  There had been talk about skipping her ahead more than that, but it wasn’t something encouraged in schools due to the strain it has on children’s emotional and social development.  So instead she was finishing up high school with her peer group while taking college courses as electives.

She also had her own little green problem.

Her powers worked differently from Bruce’s.  She could turn into a hulk, and that transformation could be triggered by extreme negative emotions - not just anger, but when she was really sad or anxious too.  Unlike Bruce though, she never had to worry about sharing her body with another person.  When she changed she was always herself and generally she had such precision control over the transformation that she could do it on command, much as Bruce could after the bonding ceremony all those years ago.

She looked around suspiciously at us as we called her over to the couches by the large window, typically the place where we had family meetings.  It was usually where we spoke to the kids if they had done something they probably shouldn’t have.  We took an approach with our parenting where they didn’t usually get in trouble for misbehaving.  Rather we tried to think of a real-world consequence for what they’d done.  For example, if they were fighting they had to sit down and listen to each other’s grievances and then work out a way to both come to an understanding about how the other feels and try to make each other feel better.  It didn’t always work, but we figured it was better than arbitrarily making them go sit in the corner.  So it made sense that she’d think she was in trouble for something.

“What’d I do?”  She asked, dropping her backpack on the ground while she stood looking at her gathered parents.

“Why don’t you tell us?”  Sam teased.  “And we’ll tell you if that’s it.”

“I’m not falling for that,” Marya snarked, folding her arms across her chest.

“Honey, sit down,” Steve said, gently.  “You’re not in trouble.  We just need to tell you something.”

Marya sat down carefully, looking at everyone with deep suspicion.  “Is someone else pregnant?  Are you trying to populate Earth with just our family?”

“No,” Clint laughed.  “What the hell?”

I rolled my eyes.  “Honestly, honey, I sometimes think the same thing,” I said.  “But that’s not what this is.”

“Your Aunt Angela came to visit today,” Steve explained.  “She’s giving up the throne of Asgard.”

“Does that mean Riley’s going to be queen?”  Marya asked, looking over at Thor.  “I can’t believe my sister’s going to be the queen of a whole other planet.”

Thor shook his head.  “Riley is still too young to rule by Asgardian standards.  My people - our people - would consider that the equivalent of having Zak as their king.  I have to step up and take the lead.”

“Which means, we are moving to Asgard,” Steve finished.  “I know that...”

“What?”  Marya yelped, interrupting Steve as she blinked at us.  “When?”

“Within the month,” Steve said.

“But I have school!”  Marya shouted.  Her fists clenched and she started to turn green at the edges.  “And what about my friends?  You can’t just take me away from everyone I ever knew!”

“Mar,” Bruce said, gently.  “Deep breath.  Get that under control.”

“Don’t tell me how to feel!”  Marya shouted, slamming her hands on the coffee table and sending a large crack through the heavy wood.  I jumped a little, startled at her violent reaction, and the green started to creep into her arms starting at her hands, making her muscles swell and double in size.

Sam moved forward and crouched in front of his daughter, taking both her hands in his and looking into her eyes.  “Marya,” Sam said with a gentle yet commanding tone.  “I know you’re upset, but you need to talk about this rationally.  If you can’t talk about it, you’re gonna have to go to your room to cool off first.”

She started crying and pulled her hands out of his.  “It’s not fair!” She cried.  “I don’t even get a say about whether or not you take me away from my friends.  My whole goddamn planet?”

“Honey,” Steve said, wrapping his arm around Marya’s shoulders.  “I know this is tough.  I really do.  But we’re partially doing it for you.”

“I don’t see how taking me from my friends is somehow supposed to be good for me,” she grumbled.

“Alright, kid,” Natasha said.  “I’m going to give you some harsh truths here.  You’re going to lose them anyway.  Maybe not all of them anytime soon, but the ones you would have kept in your life you’d have had to watch age and die.  Just like we all have done and are with our friends and family.  We want to save you what’s happening with Rose.  We don’t want you to have to fall in love and then watch them fade out while you’re stuck looking like you can’t buy a beer.”

Marya started crying harder and fell into Steve’s side and Wanda glared at Natasha.  “You didn’t have to be so harsh,” Wanda snapped.

“Well babying her wasn’t doing it either,” Natasha argued.  “She needs to hear it.  She might not like it, but going to Asgard is what’s best for her.”

“Can’t I even finish school?”  Marya begged.  “I could stay with Eddie - or Rose.  Or one of my friends.  And then… then I’ll come.”

“There will be school for you on Asgard,” Thor said.  “And it will teach you things that far outreach anything any of you have learned on Midgard.  Riley and Pietro both attend and they learn of the world tree, and alien languages, advanced mathematics, and magic.  You are already holding yourself back to fit in, daughter.  You would never have to hide any part of you in Asgard.  Not your intelligence, and not this -” he tapped her arm where it was still tinged with green.

“And I’ll make it so you can talk to your friends here.  We’ll set up a line of communication,” Tony added.  “Don’t worry.  I’ll make sure my kids don’t go without Tumblr and Instagram.  Imagine how many followers you’ll get posting selfies in Asgard.”

“I already have a tonne of followers, dad,” Marya sniffed.  “I’m a Skjodbærer.”

“Yes, you are,” Tony said.  “And don’t you forget it.  The whole universe is yours.”

“We’ll make sure we come back to visit,” I said.  “We all still have friends here, and places we like to spend our time.”

“Yeah, who’s going to annoy Katie-Kate if I’m not around?”  Clint joked.

Marya let out a small laugh that was still more tears than actual laughter.  “I’m sure she’d hate not being annoyed by you.”

“Yeah, that’s right,” Clint said and patted Marya on the thigh.

“We aren’t doing this to punish you, Mar,” Sam soothed.  “I promise.  We’ve all been talking about this for a long time, and we were going to wait, but your dad can’t anymore.  He has to go and rule his kingdom.  And sometimes we have to give up what we want to do for what we need to.”

Marya let out a long slow breath and nodded.  “I know.  I know, dad.  They’re still my friends though and I’m still sad about it.”

“I know,” Wanda said.  “Being sad is normal.”

“Can I have a goodbye party?”  Marya asked.

“Look who you’re talking to,” Tony teased.  “The biggest.”

She sat silently for a moment and nodded again.  “If I really hate it, can I come back again?”

“You need to give it a proper chance,” Steve said.

“I will,” she assured him.  “I just… I don’t…”

“If you really hate it, you can come back,” I said, cutting Steve off before he had a chance to reply.  “We won’t like it, but our kids being happy and healthy is the thing we want most.  We just think… in the long run, this is the best option for that.”

“I know,” Marya said.  She looked around at anyone and kicked at her bag.  “Can I go now?”

“One thing first,” Steve said, tapping the table where she cracked it.  “What are we going to do about this?”

Marya sighed and looked at it.  “I’m sorry,” she said.

“And…?”  Steve pressed.

“And… I’ll go see if I can find someone who can repair it.  If I can’t, I’ll shop for a suitable replacement.  And… and I’ll volunteer at the soup kitchen for the Sundays before we leave as a stand-in for the fact I don’t need to earn money to pay for these things.”

“Good girl,” Steve said.  “Dinner will be at 6.30.”

Marya stood up and grabbed her back.  “Okay.”

“Marya,” I said.  “We love you.”

She smiled a little and nodded.  “I love you all too.”

We watched her disappear up the stairs and Bruce sat back and ran his palms over his scalp.  “I really need to help her deal with her anger.”

Bucky patted his arm.  “It’s usual teen stuff.  We’ve seen it before -” he gestured to me “- we’ll see it again.”

“Yeah, but when any of the others got upset we didn’t have to worry about them breaking the building,” Bruce said.

“Umm… do I need to remind you about that tantrum Riley had that meant we had to remodel her room,” I said.

Bruce chuckled and nodded.  “Right.  I guess.”

“It won’t hurt to work with her more,” Sam said.  “But don’t think that her having a temper is on you.  She’s hyper-intelligent and smart kids often deal with anxiety because they’re always thinking ten steps ahead about all the potential terrible outcomes.”

“Tell me about it,” Tony snarked.

“Yes, Tony, you’re a genius, we all know,” Bucky teased.

“I do not like that I am the reason for her distress,” Thor said.  “We could always go back to how it was before Angela took the throne.”

“And barely get to see you?”  Clint said.  “I don’t fuckin’ think so.”

“That’s not going to happen, Thor,” Steve said.  “We’ve been talking about this for a while.  It’s time.  Sometimes kids have to move because their parents are.  It’s not fun for them.  But she will adapt and it is better it happens sooner than for her to fall into this society's expectations for when she should be doing things.”

Thor nodded, though he didn’t look completely convinced.  

“Alright,” Clint said, clapping his hands.  “Enough about moody teenagers.  We have a lot to work out.”

“It’s going to be a big change,” I said.  “But we’ve gotten really good at those, and in my experience, they always worked out for the best.”

// NEXT

[belfrygargoyles]

subnautica spoilers

my thoughts amount to:

Creepvine can be refined into silicone rubber and naturally incorporates silicone into its seed pod capsules, which the PDA states are eaten by some animals and digested

The silicone layer is biodegradable and will deteriorate on its own once detached from the main plant. I don’t know enough about chemistry to infer anything more about the nature of how the silicone is formed and what its structure would look like from this fact. I can only assume it is somehow made of “weaker” bonds that degrade more readily than synthetically produced silicone, or it’s “impure” silicone or something. Don’t laugh at me.

There are two details I get from this:

Other animals on 4546B must be able to metabolize or otherwise process ingested silicone particles

If one large plant species naturally produces its own silicone, there is a nonzero chance that other life on 4546B does as well

The PDA makes note of specialized digestive enzymes unique to large life forms on 4546B a few times, most notably in regards to the Sea Emperor, the Reefbacks, and an alien data download regarding Enzyme 42 stating that it bears “superficial resemblance to the stomach enzymes of other large predators.”

The assumptions I make based off of this:

Enzyme 42 is an enzyme used specifically for breaking down silicone matter at a very small scale

Other creatures’ digestive enzymes resemble it because large predators will be consuming animals whose main food source is silicone-producing plant life, but the resemblance is only superficial because by the time the silicone particles enter the predator’s digestive system, they have already been partially broken down or undergone some state change

Large animals who consume large amounts of microorganisms or direct producers of natural silicone have evolved a specialized portion of the digestive system in which the silicone buildup is expelled along with the digestive enzymes responsible for breaking the particles down

Two creatures are known to have a special digestive enzyme which is expelled in small amounts into the water around them: Reefbacks, and Sea Emperors. We don’t know if the enzyme expelled by Reefbacks is used by other creatures, but we know that Peepers have coevolved alongside Sea Emperors to have a sense of smell specialized for detecting Enzyme 42 in the water. We also know that Peepers have the ability to directly empty their stomach contents on demand, and that they will consume large amounts of waterborne Enzyme 42 which will be dispersed into the environment. Peepers also have beaks much like Sea Emperors.

What I infer from that is that peepers have a similar diet/feeding type as Sea Emperors, albeit on a smaller scale, in which they ingest large amounts of silicone/environmental silicates which build up in the body. Unlike Sea Emperors, peepers don’t produce a digestive enzyme to deal with it, and instead rely on following families of Sea Emperors to ingest the expelled enzymes they release to break down the silicone in their digestive systems and subsequently flush it out via the waste tube.

ALL OF THIS TO SAY I think Kharaa might be so hardy because it is silicone based, somehow, and can’t be attacked or broken down by the immune systems of most creatures. It’s an alien superbacterium idk dude. N E ways. Enzyme 42 just so happens to be complex and strong enough to break down the silicone cell membrane or whatever. No fucking clue how it’s supposed to also fix your broken DNA or your definitely broken immune system, though. If you survive Kharaa infection you’ll probably have lifelong autoimmune issues and be at high risk for cancers (especially skin cancer and lymphoma). It also fails to completely flush the bacterium from your body and leaves dormant bacterial cells in your bloodstream, which I think might mean there’s a nonzero chance you’ll get sepsis just whenever if your body registers the dormant bacteria as a threat.

[luimnigh]

So, I’m just gonna go through the Reddit AMA that happened today (December 2nd 2020), and compile the answered questions that I personally find interesting

Taking part in this AMA was Eddy Rivas, RWBY co-writer; Eugene C. Myers, write of After the Fall, Before the Dawn and Fairy Tales of Remnant; and Violet Tobacco, illustrator on Fairy Tales of Remnant. 

(Not all questions and answers are repeated here verbatim, if you want to check the exact wording, please use the link above.)

This is gonna be long, so I’ll place a cut here:

Eddy Answers:

JNPR Birthdays: Someday. They’d rather reserve that information for the show or other materials, but they felt it was well past due to learn RWBY’s birthday. 

Who is the girl in the photo in Theodore’s office?: “That’s something we’ll come back to later.”

Mercury Thoughts: He’s reserving them for later in the Volume, though he does find some people’s takes on his character “interesting”, but can’t say why just yet. 

Thoughts on the Em/Merc/Hazel dynamic:  “As for the Merc/Em/Hazel dynamic, moooooore to come. I've always enjoyed that little trio in the midst of these bananas villains.”

Are we ever gonna get an origin for Dust, even a biased one?: “Yes, more than likely.”

Are Ghira and Kali’s bands in each other’s colours “wedding bands”, and is this a faunus/huntsman tradition? (The asker also notes that Tai has a red armband):  “Different cultures/kingdoms have different ways of expressing their bonds to other people, and there's not even really a set standard for that across the board. Most often it comes to incorporating it on their clothes/person in some way, usually through color.”

Do the Gods have actual names, or are they only known by their titles as God of Light and God of Darkness?: “Certainly the Two Brothers might have other things that they are known by!”

Does the women who first followed the Infinite Man have a name as well? “Ozpin was choosing in the re-telling of that story to keep those things pretty general/vague -- more than likely to keep it from being perceived by the audience as truth.”

Things created by the Staff of Creation have no ontological inertia: a created object will disappear once the Staff is used again.

The Grimm in Before The Dawn were attracted to the amped Auras because “large flare-ups of Aura (the soul, which goes hand in hand with emotions) would read similarly to the emotions that Grimm are naturally drawn to.”

Remnant Holidays: “There are certainly different holidays in Remnant, many of them similar to our own. This is the kind of thing we always want to save for the screen or other materials if we can help it!”

Semblance Rules: “Semblances can basically be anything, we just make sure there is some kind of check on it -- take Tock, for instance, who could become invulnerable but it's going to lead to her Aura breaking. I wouldn't say there's a hard and fast rule against a Semblance being transformative, but it certainly would be uncommon.”

It seems Ironwood did issue an arrest warrant for Robyn, but the Council offered her safe passage to Atlas and Schnee Manor, in order to put Ironwood off-balance. 

Is Nicholas Schnee dead or is he still alive?: “Yes.”

Production of the 2D shorts on various Fairy Tales has been impacted by the pandemic, but more details are “hopefully coming soon”.

Sage is not connected to the AceOps, despite being based on an Aesop. There are more characters based on Aesops besides them. 

Beacon’s Academic Year: “It's fairly similar to our own semesters.”

The events of the books will impact the main series, but they want to fit them in in such a way that non-readers won’t feel like they’re missing out.

Will we ever find out more about Summer/how she died?: “It certainly seems like a pretty important thing for the show to touch on :)”

RWBY’s favourite fairytales: “We'll get to this.”

Eddy says we will learn more characters’ sexualities. 

Will We Ever See Roman Again?:  “I will say that Roman is a very fun character who has obviously made an impact on everybody. There will always be a desire to go back to that well.”

Aura would block a Lightsaber.

Cinder did not get any of the Spring Maiden’s power when she used her arm on Raven.

Is there is a link between semblance and magic?: “Yes.”

Are the Gods All-Powerful?: “This is a tough question to answer, but a very good one. I think it's something we'll actually learn more about... later.”

THE GOD OF LIGHT ALONE MADE ALL FOUR RELICS.

Eugene Answers:

At one point, Eugene, not knowing the ships of the fandom, named a location “Arkos”. His editor had to tell him why he couldn’t use it.

What inspired you to choose memory erasing and telepathy for Yatsu and Fox respectively?: “For Fox, it came about honestly because he had never spoken on the show, and I wanted to provide a canon reason for it, and then it just opened up so many interesting possibilities. For Yatsu, it probably started as I thought about Edward and Augustus and what might fit in thematically; and again, it fits in with Yatsu's more meditative nature, and I like the fact that his Semblance isn't based on physical strength.”

“”From my perspective, it was very important to me to not contradict anything in the series past or future, help expand on things that haven't been covered in the show yet, and help lay the foundation for things that may appear in later volumes. The RWBY writing team is terrific to collaborate with, answering all the questions I had as much as they could, and of course they review, approve, and correct anything needed to fit the show's continuity and its tone.”

Does the Chill have a physical form?: “I envisioned the Chill as being incorporeal, living in the shadows.”

Can you save someone from the Chill?: “You could save someone from possession, if you acted quickly.“

The books tell us Coco has an older brother, Toma; and a younger brother, Mate; as well as a third brother, Van. Eugene confirms Van to be younger than Coco.

He wishes he could have spent more time on Scarlet and Sage.

Favourite OC: Rumpole. Favourite Show Character: Penny

Fox’s Personality: “People often compare him a bit to Toph, who is my favorite Avatar character, so I think that influenced his character. Plus, the voice in your head would have to be the one that says things you shouldn't say aloud. That's Fox.”

If he gets to make a third novel, it would be SSSN-focused.

“I believe it took SSSN several months to reach Vacuo from Haven, partially because they weren't in any hurry, and it's a long way. And then the main events of BtD take place a month or so after AtF.” 

Before the Dawn takes place before Volume 8.

Violet Answers:

What are some of your artistic inspirations?: “Arthur Rackham was the biggest inspiration throughout. The grungy, rough nature of his work was very helpful in merging my style with something more traditional to match the fairytale feel needed for this book.“ 

[midnightactual]

Yoruichi’s Soul

What if I told you that perhaps Yoruichi has a unique soul?

With the release of the latest chapter, we learn some interesting things about Shinigami. My intention isn’t really to write about Hell and its implications, but it’s pertinent to the point I want to make, so it’s a fine place to begin and I’ll address some asides along the way. Here is what Shunsui says in a fanlation:

There is a word, “reii” (spiritual authority). It’s a unit of measurement that used to be utilized by the nobles, and is said to represent the concentration of reiatsu that resides in reishi. The average division member has a reii of grade 20. Vice-Captains vary between grade 5 and grade 4. And Captains consist of grade 3 and higher. A Soul Reaper’s body is made up of reishi, and when they die their body turns into reishi and returns to the earth of Soul Society. But people classified as grade 3 and higher can't do that because their reiatsu concentration is too high. What allows them to return is this ritual, “Soul Funeral Festival”. This is what’s taught at the Soul Reaper Academy.

What I am about to say is the “superstition”. “Actually, reishi of grade 3 and higher cannot return to the earth of Soul Society no matter what.” So what should we do? We can’t allow reishi that’s too powerful to remain in Soul Society. The Soul Funeral Festival’s real purpose is something else. With this ritual, the deceased Captains are—[Sent down to Hell!]

And here is the translation by Shueisha themselves:

There is something called... spirit class. In the past, it was a scale used among aristocrats. It indicated the density of the spiritual pressure within reishi. A normal company member has 20th-class reishi. An Assistant Captain has fifth or fourth class. And those greater than third class are Captains. A Soul Reaper's body is composed of reishi. When they pass on, their body turns into reishi and is reclaimed by the soil of the Soul Society. But anyone above third class has spiritual pressure too dense to be reabsorbed without intervention. The Konso Reisai is a ceremony to allow that reishi to be returned. That is as much as we learned at the Shinoreijutsuin.

This next part is the old wives’ tale. In actuality... reishi that is third-class and above can never return to the soil of soul society. So what are we to do? It’s not as though we could allow overly powerful reishi to linger loose in Soul Society indefinitely. And therein lies the other reason behind Konso Reisai. With the ceremony, the deceased Captains are... [... Cast into Hell!]

I think you’ll find these both strongly agree in content, despite some slightly different word choices. To recap:

reii is a graded measurement of (the ratio of) reiatsu per unit of reishi

reishi with reii above grade 3 / third class (i.e., that of Taichō) does not decompose and retains its reiatsu indefinitely

this is a problem that must be dealt with

the solution is to cast such reishi into Hell

There’s a lot of discussion floating around regarding what all this means. Does this mean that all Taichō-class individuals go to Hell? Well... yes, actually. What Shunsui says here is unambiguous: any Taichō-class individual presents a problem. This means that say, Gin, Kaname, Kiganjō, and Kuruyashiki were issues that had to be dealt with. Now, it does seem like maybe Jūshirō, Retsu, and Yamamoto have been turned into wardens of Hell rather than merely incarcerated there, given what we see of Jūshirō’s zanpakutō. So perhaps it’s the case that loyal Taichō become wardens (truly, one never retires from the Gotei 13, even in death) and disloyal ones become incarcerated. (After all, why put traitors in charge of security?) But it’s unambiguous that all Taichō-class individuals must be dealt with this way—and indeed, so must any entity with sufficient reii.

(An example: this means Ulquiorra is merely dead, not gone. He should be essentially haunting Las Noches.)

I’ve always wondered what Ganju meant in chapter 83 when he said that Kaien’s powers were “sixth class” and now we know; Kaien, as a former Fukutaichō, is likely not in Hell, as his reii grade was initially sixth class and probably had not risen higher than fifth or fourth by the time of his death.

(There is probably also something to be said about Retsu’s remarks to Ichigo in the Dangai on the way to Fake Karakura regarding the possible “inherent crudeness” of his reiatsu, which suggests there is some kind of reiatsu quality.)

Okay, cool, but what does any of this have to do with Yoruichi? Well, I’m getting there.

Take note that the Konso Reisai / Soul Funeral Festival is happening 12 years after TYBW (in 2015) and is apparently reconstituting individuals in Hell with their personalities and memories at least partially intact (as Jūshirō still has his zanpakutō). This tells us that reiatsu represents a kind of spin on the concept of genetic memory... you might call it energetic memory. Everything that an individual is in Bleach is seemingly encoded within their reiatsu, and they can seemingly be reconstituted from it. (I am also told that Spirits Are Forever With You makes this explicitly true.)

Here’s the rub: this isn’t actually the first time we’ve seen this sort of thing.

It’s become evident that various tie-in media to Bleach have become quasi-canonical to the manga. The movie Bleach: Memories of Nobody was made quasi-canonical by Ichigo saying in TYBW that he’d been to the Valley of Screams once before, along with panels depicting its appearance in that movie and a note at the end of the chapter to see it for more information. The Zanpakutō Rebellion arc was made quasi-canonical through the novel Can’t Fear Your Own World. This latest chapter appears to make quasi-canonical some elements of Hell from the movie Bleach: Hell Verse.

Well, what happens in this chapter with reiatsu persisting and functioning as a record of a Shinigami’s essence, to include their personality and memories... is exactly how Kagerōza created the mod-souls he used to run his reigai army in the Gotei 13 Invading Army arc.

Everyone of Fukutaichō rank and above, except for Yamamoto, Sasakibe, and Yachiru, was copied as a mod-soul and put in reigai, to include Kisuke. We also know that this done by using traces of the reiatsu of the originals. Ichigo and Yoruichi were not subject to this.

Kagerōza eventually “reveals he is unable to make a reigai of Ichigo because he is not a pure Shinigami.” We can assume that because Yachiru is a zanpakutō herself, she can’t be copied. Yamamoto and Sasakibe present an interesting case, probably to do with some kind of warding. Another odd exception exists with Kagerōza’s refusal to copy Aizen, Gin, and Kaname; presumably he thought that once a traitor, always a traitor.

But what about Yoruichi?

Did she perhaps kill her reigai copy off-screen? In Episode 319 of that arc, she “fought three Shinigami captains and four lieutenant-level and above opponents at the same time with Hakuda without receiving any notable damage.” I’ve noted this before as an example of her martial prowess, but think about it tactically from Kagerōza’s perspective. Yoruichi is able to easily resist his forces, and he can make multiple reigai copies of an individual as he demonstrates with Momo. If Yoruichi was such a pain for his reigai to deal with, and he’d already copied her, why wouldn’t he just make another? Or several more?

The simplest answer is that he couldn’t. In say, the Zanpakutō Rebellion arc, the easiest (metatextual) answer as to why Yoruichi’s zanpakutō didn’t rebel wasn’t that she had some unusual mastery over it, but rather that there was no desire to come up with her zanpakutō. However, there was no reason for a reigai copy of her not to appear if it was at all possible... meaning it was likely impossible.

The fact that her zanpakutō didn’t rebel in that other arc (and that metatextual reasons do not make sense in-universe) does put her in yet another very small club, even if its membership is different (to include Kisuke this time). The only other really consistent member of the clubs she finds herself in is Ichigo; this suggests that Yoruichi’s soul is unique like Ichigo’s, if not in the same fashion or to the same extent.

Why might that be? Well, here are some possible options:

it’s all a coincidence, and there is nothing more significant to it

Yoruichi’s cat form makes her soul novel (A. perhaps her cat form is an expression of her zanpakutō and she’s permanently bonded with it; or B. perhaps her cat form is hereditary, as she seems to share phenotypic expression with Yūshirō and it is unlikely to be merely her heritage alone)

Yoruichi’s status as Tenshiheisōban makes her soul novel somehow, if one subscribes to the theory that the Shihōin are themselves the actual Tenshiheisō

Here, for this roleplay blog, I subscribe to a combination of (2b) and (3). Yoruichi has a unique heritage (which also accounts for the strange phenotypical expression) and her family (the Shihōin) have a sort of unusual “contract” with... well, the fundamental nature of reality itself. Regardless of whether one agrees with those choices in general, I think two things are clear:

the expansion of reiatsu put forward in this chapter was both presaged in the early manga and accords well enough with the previously anime-only Gotei 13 Invading Army arc that said arc may be considered pseudo-canonical as others have become

if that arc is taken as pseudo-canonical and complexed with other pseudo-canonical material, it suggests that there is something strange about Yoruichi.

[aspoonofsugar]

I was happy to discover you are in ATLA fandom too. Could you please share your thoughts on Azula? I like your analyses

Hello anon!

Thank you very much for the nice words and for this ask! I love Azula!

I think Azula’s character explores the idea of control:

In The Avatar State, she is shown training to master “lightening”. There, it is shown how losing control of even a small detail, like a lock of hair, is enough to make Azula angry.

It is not by chance that such a scene occurs in an episode focused on the Avatar State. As a matter of fact the Avatar State and the lightening can (partially) be compared when it comes to Aang and Zuko’s stories in book two. This book opens up with Aang trying to enter the Avatar State and with the lightening being introduced thanks to Azula’s character. What is more, both Aang and Zuko try to get a hold of the two different techniques throughout the season. Finally, both skills need for the user to “let go” of their feelings.

In particular, when it comes to the lightening, there are two different ways to interpret this:

Iroh: There is energy all around us. The energy is both Ying and Yang. Positive energy and negative energy. Only a select few firebenders can separate these energies. This creates an imbalance. The energy wants to restore balance and, in the moment the positive and negative energy come pressing back together, you provide release and guidance...creating lightening. (...) Remember, once you separate the energy you do not command it. You are simply its humble guide.”

Iroh: “Lightening is a pure expression of fire-bending without aggression. It is not fueled by rage or emotion the way other firebending is. Some call lightening the cold blooded fire. It is precise precise and deadly, like Azula. To perform the technique requires peace of mind.”

On one hand Iroh’s description is interesting because it is as if creating lightening is a process of synthesis. You separate opposites and have them come back together, so that they can gain a new form. So it makes sense that, thematically, this new synthesis can happen only if the character overcomes their inner turmoil. This is also why Zuko is not able to learn the skill:

Iroh: “You will not be able to master lightening until you have dealt with the turmoil inside you.”

Zuko: “What turmoil!?”

Iroh: “Zuko, you must let go of your feelings of shame if you want your anger to go away.”

In order to acquire it, he should let go of his shame, but he can’t do it. The fact that “shame” is what stops Zuko from making progress is interesting. As explained by Guru Pathick, thus, the fire chakra is the chakra of will and it is polluted by shame.

On the other hand the lightening is called cold-blooded firebending because it can be realized only by benders whose emotions are kept in check. I would argue that this is the reason why Azula is able to use this skill. It is not that she has reached a level of emotional maturity which lets her become a  “humble guide” to the energy. It is just that she constantly represses her feelings. This repression gives the idea that she is in perfect control, but this impression is a superficial one and it is proven wrong towards the end of the story.

In short, Zuko is not able to use lightening because of his explosive emotions, while Azula is able to because she restricts her feelings. Let’s highlight that this difference between the two siblings comes up again in a key episode aka The Beach:

Once again Zuko’s emotions are in full display. He is angry and nervous. He might not know why, but he is. Moreover he is finally able to express himself thanks to a confrontation with the other members of the group. Finally he does so while a giant fire erupts to highlight the catharsis of the moment. When it comes to Azula, she too opens up a little. In particular, she lets this slip:

Azula: I don't have sob stories like all of you. I could sit here and complain how our mom like Zuko more than me. But I don't really care. My own mother... thought I was a monster... She was right of course, but it still hurt.

Azula thinks that Ursa saw her as a monster. It is clear that the unsolved issues with her mother have left a sign on her. However, when she has the chance to truly let it all out, she does not. She changes the tone of the conversation and immediately leaves the topic. However, this does not mean that she is not troubled. If anything, her emotions keep burning behind a cold exterior, exactly like the fire, which burns under the ashes. Almost invisible, but still there.

About this, let’s consider two things.

1) In The Beach episode, Azula does something similar here:

Azula: “Come down to the beach with me. Come on! This place is depressing.”

Zuko starts talking about their past and their family, but Azula does not engage in the conversation and tells him to leave.

2) When Azula opens up, the others do not challenge her. They do not ask her what she meant nor they try to contradict what she said. This is different from what they have just done with each other. All in all, Zuko openly provokes Ty Lee and Ty Lee, Zuko and Azula all provoke May, until she shouts. Finally, all the girls keep asking Zuko who he is really angry with, until he is finally able to answer.

These two considerations can be linked to more general ideas.

a) Azula is a person who needs to always be in control. This has two consequences. The first is that she never lets herself be vulnerable. She is always on guard and closed up to others. The second is that she is like a fish out of water when there is nothing to control.

This is made clear in the episode The Beach:

Zuko: “Doing nothing is a waste of time. We are being sent a way in a force vacation. I feel like a child.”

In this episode, Azula and the others are given a break. However, Azula, just like Zuko, is not really able to take a break.

She is on an island and should relax, but the only way she manages to do so is by finding new enemies:

She must continually challenge herself and must change everything in a competition (and win it) in order not to face how empty she feels. This is why, in the end, her solution to the insecurities the beach re-awakens in her is to trash a party. She can’t fit in a group of pampered teenagers, so she ruins their evening. However, what Azula should really do is to try to understand why she does not fit.

The episode shows that Azula is ignorant when it comes to casual relationships:

Azula: “I am so used to people worshipping us”.

Ty Lee: “They should!”

Azula: “I know and I love it. But for once I just wanna see how people would react to us if they did not know who we were.”

She says so directly. She has been worshipped all her life. However, this means she does not know how people react to her outside of her role as a princess and a military leader.

The military aspect is especially interesting because, even if she does not disclose her identity as a royal, her attempts to bond are all centered around military topics:

Azula: “That's a sharp outfit, Chan. Careful, you could puncture the hull of an empire-class Fire Nation battle ship, leaving thousands to drown at sea. Because... it's so sharp.”

Azula: “Together you and I will be... THE STRONGEST COUPLE IN THE WHOLE WORLD! We will dominate the Earth!”

Her life has been a long training session for war, so she does not really know anything else. This is obvious both in how she can’t talk about other things and in how she sees others not like people, but like enemies/rivals.

This is also why the vacation in Amber Island could have been very important if Azula had been able to properly capitalize on it. All in all, The Beach is the episode where Azula is shown the most vulnerable (not counting the finale where she has a complete break-down).

She tries to change her approach to go along with others:

Azula: “Well that sounds really shallow and stupid...Let’s try it!

She openly apologizes and shows her insecurities:

“Look...maybe I just said it because I was a little...jealous.”

However, all of this is not enough to change the trajectory of her arc. Why is that so? This has to do with another aspect of Azula’s controlling tendencies. As a matter of fact not only does she controls herself, but also others.

b) Azula is presented since the beginning as a highly manipulative character. Manipulation is at the root of all her major relationships:

Zuko:You lied to me!

Azula: Like I've never done that before.

She lies to Zuko to catch him and forces Ty Lee to join her through manipulation. Moreover most of her plans rely on manipulation and lies. However, if you try to control and manipulate others you are unable to build healthy relationships.

This is what happens to Azula. As stated above, nobody replies to Azula when she opens up. Zuko could have very easily told her Ursa loved them both. May and Ty Lee could have tried to comfort her somehow. However, nobody does. And nobody does because they are all scared of Azula. In her attempt to control everybody, Azula has negated herself the chance to have  a relationship among equals.

What is more, it is clear that it is impossible to fully control others. The Beach starts to show this through Azula’s attempts to flirt. Without her status as a princess, her peers do not behave like she wants. She might be able to hook up with a guy by rehearsing and applying a strategy. However, building a relationship is not a military operation. It is not something that can be done through control, but only through respect and trust.

Azula fails to do so and this is why she is left behind by others. She is left behind by Zuko who breaks free from their father. She is left behind by Mai and Ty Lee who choose healthier relationships over the one they have with her. After she loses them, Azula starts spiralling out of control and burns everything around her.

In short, I would say that Azula’s main flaw is “control”. She wants to control everyone, herself included. So in the end she is betrayed and left behind by people and she herself loses control:

Ursa: I think you're confused. All your life you've used fear to control people. Like your friends Mai and Ty Lee.

Azula:Well what choice do I have? Trust is for fools! Fear is the only reliable way. Even you fear me.

This is especially tragic because it is clear that Azula’s behaviour is her answer to an environment where a clear line was drawn between winners and losers. Azula has always been Ozai’s favourite, but Ozai has never loved her. He loves Azula’s talent, so Azula cultivates those qualities which make her accepted by her father. What is more, Ozai is not a character who values feelings or emotions, so Azula represses these aspects of herself.

In conclusion, I think Azula is a very tragic character and that her spiral was very well written and realistic. I also think that in the series itself she has shown the potential to change for the better, but this possibility has not been explored. I mean, if she had no guilt nor regrets about her behaviour, she would not have seen the hallucination of her mother calling her out.

These are more or less my major thoughts on Azula. There are probably many other things to add, but as far as my generic impressions of her go, this is what I have to say. Feel free to make more specific questions! I love her!

Thank you for the ask!

[vagarius]

misukazu 21

(if you saw me fuck up the other one no you didnt)

EDIT I THINK THIS ONE GOT A LITTLE FUCKED UP TOO BUT IT’S... READABLE...

questions from this post, and answers originally written for this thread!!

If you had to change the pairing’s very first meeting, how would you change it?    their canon first meeting is already so good SHDGFLJASHG but if i had to choose a different one that's still within the context of mankai... meeting as kids and losing touch and coming back together completely different at mankai

What song fits your pairing the most?    uhhHHhhHHH i don't have a real answer but i do have a partial playlist for one of my misukazu aus and the only two songs in it are furaregai girl by sayuri and champagne's for celebrating by mayday parade and i feel like that says enough sldhgalsdhfalsh

What is your favorite AU/prompt idea/trope for your pairing?     ALL MISUKAZU AUS ARE GOOD but. i really love any au where their first meeting is in the future and both are still kind of lost but they're Older and it's hard to let themselves fall into the easy trust they find in canon. i just think that'd be neat.

Do you prefer canon ideas or do you have your own headcanons for them?     I'VE SAID THIS MANY TIMES BUT CANON MISUKAZU GIVES OFF MADE FOR EACH OTHER VIBES AND USUALLY I DON'T VIBE WITH THAT BUT THEY REALLY ARE WHAT THE OTHER NEEDS... AND I THINK EVEN IF THEY HAD TO PART THEY'D STILL BE ABLE TO BE BETTER PEOPLE BC THEY HAD MET

Favorite canon moment of them?     THERE ARE SO MANY but the one that immediately comes to mind is misumi carrying drunk kazu to bed (latest bday line) because drunk kazu is so soft and it implies that misumi wanted to wish happy birthday to kazu pretty late... what did he want to give him...

Least favorite canon moment of them?     hmm... there's not really one i can think of??? IM SORRY I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY I LOVE ALL THEIR CANON MOMENTS

Favorite headcanon trope/idea? (Your own or someone else’s)    this is somehow both vague and very specific but i think misukazu gives off this vibe: He's beautiful. I can't tell him. or "Kazu is always beautiful~" Don't call me that, Kazu thinks. I'm not. so... insecurities i guess ????? AJSHAJJD

Favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics?     THIS IS GOING TO SOUND SO CHEESY but i love how /real/ they allow themselves to be around each other. misukazu at their best is when one thinks "you're you. and i love that you" and the other knows this. i just. THEY VALIDATE THE OTHER SO MUCH CRIES

Least favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics? (Can be headcannon)     this isn't a "least fav" so much as "it makes me sad" but if either of them showed any sign of not being interested anymore the other is more likely to give up then push anything. sort of like "it was bound to happen, so i'll enjoy now until they drop me" or EVEN WORSE they think the other would be better off without them and pushes them away. so yeah the fact i can see one of these happening makes me sad.

If they aren’t a canon pairing, how would you get them together?     they give off "everyone knows we're dating but us" energy but at the same time i feel like they'd acknowledge there's something and just not define it bc a) they don't need to (misumi) or b) they're too nervous to (kazu). in other words i think one day they are holding hands and misumi says "kazu? is this dating?" and kazu holds his breath before asking "do you want it to be?"

If you had to take them and plunk them into another fandom, what fandom would that be? Why?     i think theyd be hilarious in any sports animanga (kazu is manager tho bc noodle arms but maybe they bond when misumi walks him through some of his usual training menu one night - ahem. anyway) BUT ALSO horimiya au...

How hard is it write/draw your pairing? Scale of 1-10.     AJDHAJDHSF I REALLY LOVE THEM SO IT COMES PRETTY EASILY... but sometimes you try to put them in tropes and realize they would Just Not Work Like That. idk where i'm going with this. but yeah. anyway 3 for sankaku.

Is there a pairing that you think rivals them?     in terms of what i ship, i tend to ship kazu and misumi individually with a lot of dif charas AJDHAKD. but in terms of like... in-universe "rival" pairings: kazu side: tsuzukazu (maybe, lbr it would take them 273924 yrs to actually get together), kazu x someone from winter (i... have my reasons but they'd take longer than what this answer entails) misumi side: ... surprisingly none that i can think of ahdjahd

Which character of the pairing do you like more? (Would you ever pair yourself with them?)     you know that tweet that's like "sometimes a ship is just your two favs"? yeah that's misukazu for me. but if i had to choose... misumi AJDHAJHDSF I HONESTLY WASNT THAT INTO YUME UNTIL THESE TWO CAME AROUND (NOT COUNTING 707)... but yeah if they wanted to hold me in their arms i wouldn't oppose

Which character of your pairing would be the one to break up with the other? Why?     OOOOOH BOY well. i think it could be either of them. i don't think they'd break up for lack of love but too much love and wanting the other to be happy and thinking that the only way to give them that is to let them go. so i guess the question is which of them would be more likely to be selfish and hold on. thinking this way, i think misumi would be more likely to break-up, bc kazu has lots of friends who are better than him!! and misumi is more ready to leave if he thinks he needs to than kazu is. now im sad.

Are they relatable as characters or as a pairing?     THE NUMBER OF TIMES I'VE BEEN CALLED KAZU KIN... in all seriousness kazu's struggles with speaking out and (shinobi spoilers) his uncertainty over his future hit real close to home... while i don't relate as much as misumi, his struggles always manage to tear my heart into pieces... ((oversharing alert) i guess what really separates me from misumi is his struggle with his desire to connect with family who has treated him poorly... whereas im more "lol fuck you") tldr i relate to kazu slightly more LOL

Did you once/ever dislike one/both of them?     i never disliked them but i was NOT expecting either of them to shoot up so quickly into my favs list ahdjahdjf. also i started shipping them Immediately After reading summer main story so there's that

On an estimate, how many posts have you made about them?    as of september 28th 2020 i make up 11/78 fics on ao3 in the romantic misukazu tag and 2/12 in the platonic one. i may have brainrot.

What made you decide to ship them?     TBH I FINISHED THE MAIN STORY AND WENT "OH MY GOD... THAT'S MY SHIP" but now that i'm here i continue to ship them because they have the potential to bring out both the best and the worst in each other and i'm all about that

Favorite genre for them? (Angst, fluff, etc.)     angst. i just. angst hurt/comfort all the way. im so sorry babies.

lol you thought there would just be 21 ANYWAY EXTRA 1: how do they spend breaks/vacation?    they'd travel a lot when they're older!! kazunari loves to travel and misumi would follow kazunari anywhere (also, new triangles!!) so they go somewhere new whenever they have the time. however i think eventually one or both of their future careers will take them anywhere and everywhere anyway, so their "ideal vacation" might turn into an evening in, cuddling and catching up (as if they didn't already send play-by-play updates over the phone of whatever they did during the day)

EXTRA 2: first date?     i don't they ever have an explicit first date, but if asked they'll cite the time they had a picnic in the park turned triangle hunt turned accidental dip in the duck pond. at least, kazunari will. misumi just tilts his head and wonders what you mean.

EXTRA 3: gifts?     IM FEELING REALLY CHEESY SO I'M MAKING THIS ABOUT ANNIVERSARY GIFTS they both end up getting each other jewelry (although kazu was really really nervous bc he wasn't sure if misumi would wear it). kazu gets misumi a bracelet (with triangles, of course although misumi only wears it sometimes because he doesn't want to lose it) and misumi gets kazu a pair of triangle earrings "so we can match!" and kazunari combusts at the implications

EXTRA 4: sharing clothes     THEY'RE ACTUALLY AROUND THE SAME SIZE (and tend to wear baggier stuff barring kazu's skinny jeans)... but they have completely different Styles so it's still really obvious when steal each other's stuff ahdjajdkaf. as cute as kazu would look in sumi's sweatshirt i think the much more likely scenario is kazu wrapping misumi in his jackets because this boy nEVER BRINGS HIS ANYWHERE anyway just. accidental shared wardrobe misukazu.

EXTRA 5: lake house au    consider: kazunari living in a house on the shore of a lake for a summer for Art Purposes (and a little bit for Dealing With Life purposes but he's not gonna admit that) and meets his lake neighbor misumi who kazu thinks might be a ghost or spirit for a while but he actually just lives further down the lake and misumi unknowingly helps kazu with his Life Issues and maybe they fall in love