#Like I feel like the protagonist in a coming of age movie

[dominarava]

Angel

Ghostface × Female!Reader

CW: Dub/Non-Con, Blood, Stalking, Breaking & Entering, usual fucked up GF stuff

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 2.2k

Summary: The quiet guy in your discord server decides to chat you up in the general vc, and as expected, has a lot more to unpack than you ever expected.

Notes: I was lazy and just posted the ugly default AO3 link when I first posted this, so I'm coming back and making it look nicer with new and improved tags lol

This piece doesn't specify who is really behind the mask, so whoever you want is up to you~

I had fun with this and left light references to the movies, Dead By Daylight, and Mortal Kombat to honor some of my favorite appearances of him-- hopefully it doesn't ruin the immersion lol

I don't usually leave notes, but it's been a while and I've adored all the comments and kudos I've gotten in my absence, cause at the end of the day, that's what will always bring me back. I love all your support and time reading this and hopefully I have more soon to come for you all!

Thank you again so much for reading, and I hope you enjoy! 🔪💕✨️

AO3 Link

This had become the nightly habit: get off work, make dinner, chill with the lads in a Discord call until bedtime. Mindlessly playing a game, you weren't surprised by the sound of someone joining the call, however you were surprised by who it was. He was a rando that had joined a while back, was nice enough, but didn't have much to say as he relegated himself to really only short replies or emoji reactions. You could have sworn he posted a thirst trap without his face in the #selfies channel, but you weren't 100% sure. When he would join calls he would always stay muted, opting to reply in the text chat or not at all, merely listening to and enjoying just being around the good times happening. All the same, you felt it rude to not say at least a little hello. 

“Hey! How’re you doin’ tonight?” 

“Hey there~” 

The voice on the other side was low, having a bit of a flirtatious twang in the sigh of his greeting. Your heart skipped a beat, you weren't sure if he had ever spoken to you, much less anyone else in the server. And if you were being honest, he sounded kind of hot. Letting the giddy feeling ride, you tried to keep him talking since it was just the two of you. 

“Woah–” You poked cheekily, “I dunno if I've heard you say anything before.” 

“I'm more of a one-on-one kind of guy,” He offered smoothly, “But I enjoy listening to everyone having a good time.” 

“Fair–” 

The air fell dead as you wondered what to talk about next, letting him cut into the silence with a question, “So.. what's your favorite scary movie?” 

Having just finished a server horror movie night not too long ago, the question felt like a natural segway into your interests, “Hmmnn that's actually a good question– I think if we're just talkin’ horror in general my first and favorite would have to be Silence Of The Lambs. The back and forth relationship between Clarice and Dr. Lecter was probably one of the most challenging to my mind at the ripe age of twelve, since then I've loved horror that has a female protagonist that is put under pressure by the killer to make difficult choices and solve the puzzle he left for her.

“But– that's not to say pieces like Substance or Midsommer aren't incredible mentally challenging works of art to me, I love both, along with movies like The Empty Man, Smile, It Follows, The VVitch, The Void, V/H/S–”

He cut your train with a light chuckle, “I definitely want to know which you thought was better, Smile or It Follows, but I meant to ask, what’s your favorite slasher movie?” 

You gave this one a lot more consideration as your heart swelled with a damning excitement at the thought of your favorite killers, “That's such a hard choice! Of course Micheal Myers from <i>Halloween</i> is like everyone's big daddy– but I think if I had to choose it would have to be Stab! Ghostface is just a lot more fun, playful, and let's be honest– horny.” 

“Oh yeah?” He hummed, “Why's that?” 

How his tone seemed to curl at the end of his words made your chest tighten and a heat rise to your cheeks, “I mean, at the heart of it.. the voice actor responsible for his voice changer in the movie said that his tone is flirtatious, beyond that– between the fact that the first Ghostface seemed to get off on the idea of causing his object of obsession, Sidney, the most pain possible by the mocking of her mother being the town bicycle and it's even pointed to at the end of the movie that the two who were behind the Ghostface killings were the same two that brutalized Sidney's mother–” 

“Goddamn–” Nearly groaning his words as he cut you off, he cleared his throat and pressed, “Good girl~ You sure do know your stuff.” Praising you with words that melted like chocolate over your tongue, your mind tilted at his words, ‘Good girl’. 

Good girl?!

“Excu–”

“I fuckin’ love girls like you–” He went on, swearing you could hear the ache of him through the call, “Your type always knows how really appreciate us..” 

‘Us’?

Before you could get a word in, he went on, “Buuut it looks like that's my cue– I hope you're ready for some fun this evening.” Leaving the conversation with the disconnect sound chiming through your ears in silence to process what just happened. 

The sound of him leaving the call let a wash of relief run over you, only lasting for a moment as the floor creaking caught your attention with arms wrapping you in a winding embrace. Having your arms pinned at your sides, your hands flailed looking for any sort of way out. Only, the way your grip seemed to find his length caged behind his pants before skirting over to the long hunting knife strapped to his leg, making your struggle against him stop with a gasp.

“Yeah.. that's all for you Babe, whatever you need– so.. let's behave.. alright..?” The same voice that was lingering in your headset only moments ago was in high definition against your back. 

Firmly pressing his hand over your mouth, you froze as someone else joined the empty call with you, “Hey you there?” 

Your headphones loud enough for him to hear, an uneasy pause passed between you two as his hold over your lips lessened, “Yeah-” He let you breathe through his nitrile gloved fingers.

“Good, kinda glad he's gone, he's chill and all, but it kinda bugs me that he's just in here just dead-ass silent all the time. Fuckin’ weird.” 

Looking over your shoulder a bit to get any sort of a look at him, you were only met with the deep black drooping eyes framed by a gasping bone white mask. Familiarity of the visage made your heart drop into your stomach, forcing you to chew on the harsh fact that that same familiarity you knew to fear, also brought the flutter of butterflies in with it.  

A rough bump of his hips to your back-end snapped you out of your own mind and made you bark out, “Uh– Same– he is kinda weird, I've– talked to him a little bit and he just– seems like a bit of a creep..”

“Oooh shit whaddaya mean?” 

He peered over your shoulder to look at you, curious to see how you would pull this along as his other hand pushed at the elastic of your pajama bottoms, “He uh– waited for everyone to leave– and then started hella chatting me up–” 

“Are you good? It sounds like you're doing something.” 

Eyeing him, the slight nod of his head coaxed you to keep talking while his fingers made their home in exploring your heat, “Yeah I'm fine– I think I pulled a muscle and I–”

“Oh shit– sorry, one sec– groceries are here, I'll be back in a minute!”

At the sound of her disconnection he lifted you up with a near effortless toss onto the bed, wasting no time crawling on top of you to get at what little clothing was left with his blade. Watching the fabric dance away from your frame, he gripped your wrist as you tried to switch your mic off.

“Go on.. stay in that call.. let ‘em all know what a stagy little whore you are.” He pushed, lifting the hem of his hoodie above the glimmer of the silver button hiding his length behind the black denim. 

No time was wasted getting into you, making himself at home between your legs with a few rough thrusts and shivering grunts that made your mind twist. Squirming under him the grit falling off his boots into your blankets made you buck against him in frustration, earning a low sigh from him as his beat picked up. 

“Mmn if you keep fighting me.. I'll gut you like a fucking pig.” Groaning into your ear, the delicate touch of his knife teased itself between your breasts. 

Defiance sparked in you to bite back, “If we're– oh god– following the rules, you'll just do it anyway–” 

The blade pulled its edge against your skin, splitting you like a ripe peach under its cut, “True.. but the killer's favorite little slut never dies.. she's gotta make it to the sequel, the trilogy, hell! Maybe a whole fuckin’ saga..”

Suddenly ringing in your ear the sound of the bluetooth assistant chimed,

Battery Low.. Please Charge Soon.

You held your lips tight as the length of him pushed to the hilt over and over, letting the air in the call stay dead as your friend and others passed through, thinking you were away from your keyboard. 

“What’s wrong? Suddenly have nothing to say? I thought you liked the idea of being yanked around by a big man with a knife? Little different than on the big screen, ain't it Babe?” 

You could practically hear him purring behind the mask, his pace slowing to deep grind as you felt the rub of his metal pants zipper dig into your skin like a threat.

“Mmmm– remember a couple weeks back– we were all watching that scary movie– when you wouldn't shut the fuck up about how you wanted to ride that slashers cock like a carnival ride– fuck you don't know what that did to me– hearing you get all giddy about bouncing on dick after a kill– goddamn you don't have a fuckin’ clue– how bad I wanted bust through that fuckin’ window and tear you apart–” 

Gripping his palm across your eyes to pin your head to the bed, the unrelenting barrage of what came was less of a kiss and more of a hostile takeover of your senses. You couldn't tell how long you were left to his devices, using you with the excitement of a new sex doll he'd been waiting months for. The fight in you began to fade with the swipe of your tongue to his, earning the zeal of him rutting into you harder. 

“See.. I knew you'd love it..” 

Battery Low.. Please Charge Soon.

Dipping down to your chest to kiss the fresh wound that lay spilling blood around your breasts, taking in the heavy scent of your rubies like a jewel thief making his biggest heist. Slipping his free hand over your chest to the slick of your nipple made you gasp as a perfect distraction before pulling his mask back down. Adorning his usual visage now laid a smeared print of your life in blinding crimson, letting that be the first and only thing you saw as he let you have your vision back in the darkness. Against the blur of your eyes readjusting from the pressure of his weight on them, the dip of his frame dropping against yours with his hands gripping the sides of your head in a vice made you dizzy with a feral beat between your legs. Throughout his treatment you didn't feel that familiar latex rub of a barrier between you, forcing your stomach into a twist as his panting behind the mask got heavier. 

The first grace of the evening came when you finally heard the powering down beeping of your headset giving its last bit of juice before cutting out. Unbound by the fear of being heard, your voice let out a moan that vibrated the silence of the dead air room. Relaxing a little under him, he pushed your rear up, angling himself better to pump deep before running his fingers over the tacky blood joining the fresh on your chest in a macabre mess. Having the dig of his fingertips into the open wound weeping from you was a new kind of violation before he breathed out a shaken manic pleasure from the mask that captivated you. 

“Oh fuck– I'm going to smear your blood over my every  fucking pore!” The bubbling frenzy in his tone gave away his devouring bliss as it promised to swallow you whole. 

Honestly, you weren't long for the session either way as he found just the right spot to rub his tip into the soft warmth of you hugging his length and perfect grind of his mound against your bud aching to come undone. Seeing him watch you in those last moments before you went over the edge was enough to send you there as you trembled and cried out under his grip. Moaning and reaching to touch him in any way you could, you couldn't get enough of him as your body craved the closeness it needed. Expecting swift punishment for the affection, he surprised you by taking your hand in his, slowing his pace. Lacing your fingers as one, the gentle caress of his thumb to your skin had your rose colored glasses as red as they could be. Watching with a affectionately hazed gaze while he pinned you down, your skin when cold as his words dripped from his lips like sweet poison: 

“You think you're getting away that easy? I'm just gonna cum and that be that? No.. I prepared for this all day. You're not goin’ fucking anywhere.”

[decaying-vampire]

warning: if you are currently experiencing female hysteria, do NOT look at handsome men on Pinterest, and do NOT listen to mitski. It will just make it worse

[devosin]

— LATE NIGHTS & FLASHING LIGHTS !! prologue : a series of unfortunate events . .

♡. Spotify playlist | Updates, every Friday !! — Vil Schoenheit x reader | Vil pov . .

Vil sighs, scrunching his eyes shut, which proved to be more difficult than it appeared with the mud mask that he applied over half an hour ago still on his face, currently drier than the gluten free bread he bought last week. He melted into his couch, feeling an overwhelming sense of boredom settle into his otherwise restless body. 

Before he knew it, he found himself mindlessly scrolling through Magicam, looking through the self proclaimed critique’s 30 to 60 second reviews on his new movie or the finale of some show he was in, for a hit of dopamine. Which clearly wasn’t working, as each video was the same thing washed over and over again repeated with new synonyms bundled together to sound authentic (Which it rarely was) and of course, there was those few criticisms here and there, nothing uncommon. 

Vil lays his head back, scrolling some more, “Influencer Tartaglia joins the new soon to debut boyband, D!CKZ—”, he shuts his phone and tosses it to the side carelessly . . Did he ever mention his distaste for influencers moving into the entertainment industry? . . It makes his blood boil, just a tiny bit, since most of the influencers tend to ruin it for a lot of genuinely talented and lesser known actors out there, not to mention they’re so-called talent is usually mediocre at best. 

And he could go on and list all the reasons why influencers do not deserve a spot in the spotlight with the elite, and they may all seem reasonable at first, but it’s a cover-up for the real reason.

He feels some weird sort of envy, towards those individuals who put in zero effort and somehow make it, and get all these big protagonist roles right away, and how they aren’t criticized for their faults or terrible acting skills, just because they have a huge built fanbase of delusional fangirls ready to defend them from the get-go. 

Or how they aren’t criticized when they look less than perfect on screen, although he appreciates that current age viewers can acknowledge that it’s only human to get acne or maybe a pimple here and there, he didn’t meet the same fate when he was younger . .  It just makes him feel bitter . . and he’d never speak those feelings into existence, but deep down he does feel a bit hurt by the shift, it sometimes makes him feel like all those previous breakdowns were for naught. 

Vil snaps out of his pity party for one, getting up and stretching, going into the bathroom to wash off the mask before it dries out his skin (It probably already has), burn-out has hit him hard, and as much as his love for acting runs-deep, he’d rather take a break before his audience starts noticing his shift in acting. 

Which is why he agreed to hosting the show in the first place, he wanted to switch up his career, for awhile at least, he’s taking a break from acting but doesn’t want to directly leave the industry, because it’s difficult to fit right back in place once you leave, as there's always someone who could come and steal your position, and maybe even do better . . that’s why this industry is so hard to survive in, and as pitiful as it sounds, he’s practically married to his work, he can’t exactly risk it, in peace. 

Vil dries his face with a towel and then moves to grab his moisturizer, when his work phone rings. 

“Hello, this is Amanda from Descendants. Inc. We talked before reguardinging ‘Late nights & Flashing lights’ . ” . . . “So, due to a multitude of reasons, we’re kind of in a time crunch to get the premiere launched, by the end of this month actually . . . but, we’ve received confirmation on who’ll be co-hosting with you, Y/n L/n!” 

“ . . . excuse me?” 

“This must be such a shock, but Y/n has actually been our top pick for this role, and the internet seems to really want to see the two of you on-screen together, considering your screen presence, I honestly think you two will be a perfect match for the show.”  

“I—”, Vil’s voice was hoarse as he tried to mentally wrap around all the information that was just dropped, “Ah—That’s time, we’re so excited to see you on set next week.” . . . “If you’d like, I could send you y/n’s number beforehand, so the two of you could talk things through?”, that seems to snap him back to reality, as the professionalism seeps right back into him, “That would be lovely, thank you.” 

The doorbell rings, informing Vil that his takeout that he ordered about two hours ago had finally arrived, but he didn’t feel like eating anymore.

Drinking is completely legal at 18-19 in my country, so I'm just putting that over here before someone tries fighting with me about it (This has happened before), also Vil is currently in his late 20's.

Don't expect everything to play off of Vil in-game, since this is placed like a decade into the future, so things will be changes and messed around with to fit the current age and setting more. <3

Profiles | Masterlist | Next chapter . .

— LATE NIGHTS & FLASHING LIGHTS !! ♡. Synopsis : VIL SCHOENHEIT recently signed a contract under Descendant. Inc for his very own late night show, only to find out his co-star and fellow co-host is none other than Y/n L/n, someone he hates despite knowing very little about them and never having met them, previously. Y/N L/N, an actor who made their debut 3 years ago and hasn’t been able to catch a break since, recently decided to sign a deal with Descendants. Inc to host their new late night show “late nights & flashing lights”, as a break from acting . . Only to find out their favorite long-time actor will be co-hosting with them. Tune in every Friday, for a new episode of “late nights & flashing lights” to see if these two hosts can find a peaceful work-bond amidst their judgements . . and quite possibly even love? . .

♡. Want spoilers ?! . . Join my server . . !! (or for updates)

— taglist ♡ ; @well-look-at-this , @honkai-freak , @kingnem10 , @merviolet-asks , @katzline , @pebble-bb , @meigalaxy , @lordbugs , @crowbird , @yuus3n , @azriel-sama , @reivelmin , @the-ghost-0f-t0m0 , @eliza-be-t-h , @feverish-dove , @yejiswifex , @l0v3r666 , @cece-cherries , @frootloopscos , @abell2029cluster , @ephemii , @alienlatteinspace

♡ . Ask to be tagged... (If you don't see yourself up here, I cant tag you)

© devosin , do not repost, plagiarize, translate, or adapt my work without prior permission and or confirmation.

[shellshocklove]

brat three: i don't wanna feel feelings | joel miller

pairing/AU: joel miller x brat!female!reader – no outbreak

summary: joel’s brat summer is coming to an end.

warnings: this is an 18+ fic so mdni! age gap, enemies to lovers vibes? swearing, drinking of alcohol, smoking, reader wears a dress, heels and makeup but otherwise no other descriptions, use of pet names, some angst, smut, brat tamer!joel, dom!joel, some daddy!joel, manhandling, some light bondage, degradation (whore, slut), oral sex (f+m receiving), multiple orgasms, creampie, unprotected sex (don’t do it!!), no use of y/n

a/n: ok so here's part three to brat! there's one more part planned, and then that's it! <3 big thank you to @dustydaddyyy for reading through this, i love you!! <333 happy reading! 💚

main masterlist / series masterlist / ao3

from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸 this account stands with palestine. the creator of tlou is a zionist, and the second game is largly based on israel/palestine. please, everyone who interacts, educate yourself about the genocide happening right now, and support/donate.

The gravel moaned under your heels as you carefully left your uber at the foot of the driveway. The air smelled of summer; flower-y notes with a hint of anticipation. Cars lined the driveway, tightly parked with the wheels almost hanging in the air over the ditch. The sky turned purple then pink as the sun started to dip beneath the horizon, the small beams of light coming through the doors of the big barn beamed brighter and brighter the closer you got.

This wasn’t the first time you’d crashed a party, but it was your first wedding. You’d looked up the place online, Pecan Grove Ranch. It was nice, but pedestrian, not filled with the extravagance a party of this size would rank up in your father’s circles – the ones you’d been dragged too ever since you were old enough to put on a charming smile. This felt real, no fake happy smiles and secret codes, just people gathering to celebrate love.

Love.

It had always been a thing that happened to other people. To your friends, to the protagonist in a movie, to the person on the other side of your kiss. They always thought they were in love with you, but love always felt like a joke everyone was in on except for you, a story told to sell movie tickets or for a song to hit number one.

Sex was different, sex you understood. It was like acting, and you had no problem slipping into the role. It was fun, it was a release, it was a fleeting connection you couldn’t help but chase.

One you were chasing right now.

Maybe Joel was right, maybe you are desperate, but it was his fault for leaving you like that, right on edge but without the release. Honestly, it was his fault you were here, you thought as you stood outside the open barn doors.

Off to the side a few of the guests had gathered around a picnic table. Billowing white smoke clouded them as you watched their animated conversation between drags of their cigarettes and sips of their drinks. A small boy ran past you, almost crashing into you as a little girl chased after him with a giggling laugh. They chased each other on the grass, as they ran between the large trees where a million lighting bugs danced between them.

The air felt light like cotton candy, a sweetness of celebrated love coated the faces that emerged as you stepped inside. The picking guitar intro of TLC’s ‘No Scrubs’ met you at the door, followed by a large cheer, bordering on collective scream, coming from the people on the dance floor. Walking slowly, you followed the back wall of the barn. A light breeze came through the open doors and windows, and tugged at your dress as you closed in on the bar. 

Open bar… Nice, Tommy. 

Most of the guest had their assigned seats at the round tables pressed up against the wooden walls of the barn. They must’ve been moved to make room for the dancefloor, you thought as you leaned up against the side of the bar. It was rustic, made entirely of untreated wood and decorated with large white bows. The bartender was around your age, handsome, and painfully bored it seemed by the way he lit up when you approached.

“What can I getcha?” he asked, a charming lilt to his voice.

“Um…” your teeth caught on your bottom lip, as you scanned the drinks menu. They all had quirky names, most likely inside jokes or references to the wedding couple that mostly went over your head.

“One ‘Contractor Juice’, please?” you ordered, holding back from cringing at the name. At least you got this reference, and the promise of mint and citrus mixed with alcohol had never failed you before.

“Sure thing, doll,” the bartender smiled, a little too sweet for your liking, or maybe you’d developed a preference for grumpy frowns.

“So… bride or groom?” he asked, making conversation as he worked.

“Um… groom,” you told him, leaning your back against the bar as your eyes rolled over the tables, searching.

“Ain’t seen you up here yet,” he said, a question unsaid hanging in the air as he handed you your drink.

Turning around, you thanked him and slipped a five-dollar bill in the tip jar. “There,” you said, “Now you can turn off the charm.”

You watched how he tried to hide his smile, as he held up his hands in a surrender, “Who’s to say I can turn it off?”

He smiled when you rolled your eyes at him. It was cute, two dimples separated by perfect white teeth. At the start of the summer, you might’ve let him fuck you at the end of the night, but the summer was coming to a close, and you had your eyes set on someone else.

He had his back turned, but you knew it was him, you’d recognize those broad shoulders anywhere. Something bubbled under your skin then, and your hands felt clammy around your glass – you were nervous, there was a whole room between you, but he still managed to make you nervous.

Maybe this was a bad idea?

He sat with his body turned, his hand around a beer bottle, as he watched the dancefloor move. Your eyes followed his and found Tommy where he danced, his hand clasping a woman’s, a woman you’d only seen in photos.

Joel’s daughter.

She was beautiful. Clad in a dark lavender satin dress, matching the other bridesmaids. Her dark hair was slicked back and gathered at the nape of her neck, held together by a matching satin bow, perfect curls spilled across her back. Her smile was even prettier as she laughed and sang with her uncle, swinging to ‘Build Me up Buttercup’. It was the same smile you could see across Joel’s face as he watched them. 

The drink burned slightly from the acidity at the back of your throat, and you were grateful that he’d been heavy on the liquor. You needed to catch up, let the alcohol loosen you up, pull away your unexpected nerves. 

“Who’s that?” you heard behind you. A warmth coated your neck and cheeks at being caught staring, and the embarrassment mixed with anger.

“I don’t think that’s any of your fucking business,” you scoffed. 

The bartender huffed out a dry laugh, “Jesus, it’s wedding small talk, no need to bite my head off.”

“Well, I’d prefer it if you didn’t talk,” you told him, sending him an annoyed look over your shoulder.

When you turned back around, Joel’s seat was empty, the beer bottle he’d nursed left behind on the table, the only sign he’d ever been seated there in the first place. Your tongue found the straw of your drink, twirling it around while you sipped, eyes scanning the dancefloor.

Nothing.

Did he slip out? Out to catch some fresh air or go to the bathroom? Maybe you could find the restroom, hover outside the door and ‘accidently’ bump into him?

No.

You cringed. Did you even hear yourself? As you took another sip, trying and failing to come up with a plan, a familiar gruff voice heaved a heavy sigh behind you.

“You got to be fuckin’ kiddin’ me.” 

He didn’t look angry, but the way his hand rubbed over his face was worse, he was disappointed to see you. 

“What the fuck you doin’ here?”

“Celebrating Tommy, and–” you squinted your eyes, looking at the name scrawled elegantly next to Tommy’s on the bar menu, “–Maria... aren’t you?” 

You gave Joel an easy smile, and stepped closer, crossing one foot nonchalantly over the other. There was no way in hell you’d give him the satisfaction of seeing you even a bit phased he’d caught you crashing his brother’s wedding. 

A huff escaped Joel at your lie before the corners of his mouth pulled ever so slightly in a dry, sarcastic smile. 

“That’s cute,” he told you, his voice devoid of any humor in it, tone entirely disbelieving. 

“I’ve been known to be described as such,” you grinned. 

Joel didn’t seem to like your joke, his face not moving an inch. “You know this is way out of line, right?” 

“What?” you snorted, taking a sip of your drink as your eyes fanned out over the room for a second, before landing back on Joel, “Aren’t you happy to see me?” 

Joel let out an almost incredulous scoff, shaking his head as his eyes quickly scanned across the room, going to Tommy still on the dancefloor with Sarah. Something seemed to flash over his eyes, or maybe it was the lights but he leaned forward then, fingers wrapping around your forearm in a firm grip. 

“Way to make it obvious,” you said under your breath as he pulled you a bit. Not letting him have it, you planted your feet, “What the hell are you doing?” 

“Don’t be a fuckin’ brat,” he told you, his voice filled with annoyance. 

Something ignited in you then, and you knew you had him right where you wanted him. Unable to contain your smile as the words crossed his lips, you felt them settle in your core, drip down your thighs like sticky honey. 

“You’d know just what do about that, wouldn’t you?” you challenged, your eyes burning into his, and for a second, you had his attention. He held your gaze, and his eyes flickered with the same intensity you felt.

A beat passed between you, and you watched as his jaw tightened, waiting for the bomb to tick down to zero. 

Then it popped.

The guests cheered as a song faded into another, and Joel took a step closer to you. His hand released your forearm to slip around your waist as his eyes never left yours. 

“Come,” he spoke through his teeth, his voice low and quiet.

The feel of his hand so close to your skin sent your brain into a temporary reboot. You’d craved it all week, missed him so close to you, missed his scent on your skin, and you let yourself be steered away. 

Quickly, Joel led you out the barn doors, his hand firmly pressed against your lower back as he looked over his shoulder. The music faded as he guided you towards a handful of small, scattered cabins hidden away behind a grove of trees. The trail snaked its way from tree to tree, your heels digging into the gravel making it hard to keep up with Joel’s pace. He walked with haste, passing cabin after cabin until the hand on your lower back looped around your waist, turning you around to face him as he came to a stop outside the last cabin.

His eyes drilled into your own, giving you a wild look, “I want you to leave,” he said, voice stern.

Leaning into his touch, you tilted your head to the side and let your eyes roll over him. He’d combed his hair back, wavy curls held back by gel. You raised your hand to cup his cheek, letting your thumb run through his trimmed scruff, hints of salt and pepper shone under the rising moonlight. The full of his lips was pressed together in a tight line, your eyes trailing your thumb as you let it gently run over his lips. Something softened in him under your touch, his eyes brown and deep as they watched you, it made your heart pick up its beat, hammering out of your chest.

Leaning closer, your eyes flickered to his lips again, and you thought about how you didn’t know what he tasted like, didn’t know how his lips felt against your own. You were so close now; his breath came out in small puffs against your face. Slowly you tilted your head, your nose accidentally brushing up against the crook of his own.

“You owe me a fucking orgasm,” you whispered.

His hand around your waist tightened, and with a small huff he tilted his head back.

“I owe you nothin’, princess.”

God, he could be stubborn sometimes. 

It might’ve annoyed you if it didn’t turn you on as much as it did. You loved how he made you work for it, and he was worth doing the work. Something deep down inside you knew it. Joel was a good man. If you weren’t careful he’d remove the walls built up by that lonely girl you’d kept hidden inside; one emotional stone at a time. Maybe it was ironic? The man who’d devoted his life to building walls, now breaking them down?

“Why do you deny yourself something you want?”

“You...” Joel swallowed hard, dark eyes watching your face with an unreadable expression, “You're a piece of work, you know that?”

The words stung more than you’d like to admit, and when Joel’s hand slipped from your body as he stepped away, a wave of anxiety washed over you. 

Had you gone too far? 

Joel didn’t look happy, and a small knot started to tie itself in your stomach under his gaze. You watched as he unbuttoned the top button of his tuxedo jacket, making it fall open and showing you his perfectly pressed shirt underneath. His right hand dug into his inner pocket, fishing out a white key card.

His steps were heavy up the front stairs to the cabin, almost dragging, like he moved through molasses. The lock clicked as he held the key card against it, a green light blinking before he opened the door. 

Dumbfounded, you stood at the foot of the front steps. You’d riled him up, played your little game and he’d gone along with it like always. 

Was this how it was gonna end?

He stood in the opening, hand on the handle with one foot on either side –  halfway in, but also halfway out. He didn’t move, his head tipped forward, weighing his options. Then he sighed and pushed the door open, and stepped inside the darkness.

“C‘mon, get in before anyone sees you.” 

The cabin was quaint, but cozy, with only the necessities. It was more like a hut, not bigger than a hotel room. A narrow hallway opened up to the bedroom, with a door to the right leading to a bathroom. Joel had placed his overnight bag on the chair in the corner, a worn leather duffle bag with a dark t-shirt and pair of jeans thrown over it, clearly thrown in a hurry to get ready. White lace curtains hung over the windows, bright against the dark wood of the paneled walls. 

The clinking of Joel’s belt pulled you from the silence, your head twitched like a reflex turning towards him. He’d shed his tuxedo jacket, his broad shoulders fighting against his pristine white shirt. He walked towards you slowly as he removed his cufflinks; the warmth in his eyes had turned darker. Taking a step backwards the back of your thighs pressed into the chair, almost tipping you over, but he caught you, one arm tight around your wrist while the other threw the cufflinks on the pile of clothes behind you.

“You say ‘red’ ‘nd we stop,” he told you, eyes holding your gaze so intently you didn’t dare look away. An inaudible breath pressed past your lips when his other hand cupped your cheek, the touch reminding you to nod your head.

“Or I pinch you,” you said.

A pleased smile spread across his face, “Good.” He punctuated his approval with a light pat to your cheek. 

Stepping away, he nodded towards the bed, an unspoken order, while his hands found his tie around his neck where he tugged at the knot. You sat at the foot of the bed, knees pressed together, waiting for him to make the first move. The white sheets smelled strongly of detergent, nothing like the faded hints of his cologne mixed with sawdust you’d smelled on his own sheets that first night he’d fucked you. 

The tie slipped from his neck and you fell back on your arms, feigning boredom while you let out an audible sigh. It made him laugh.

“What’s so funny?” you queried, your brows pulled together in a frown. 

A smile leftover from his chuckle coated his lips as he stepped closer, your legs spreading for him to slot between as he threw the tie on the bed beside you.

“Nothin’.” 

Over you, he gently rolled up his sleeves with practiced hands before he wrapped a hand tightly around your upper arm. Then he tugged. 

“Hey!” you said, fighting against his grip as he manhandled you. He turned you roughly, his other hand fingering the zipper of your dress, while the other held you in place. “Be careful with the dress,” you whined.

“Stop actin’ like a fuckin’ child,” he muttered, helping you out of your dress.

“A child? Well… that doesn’t bode well for you with what you’re about to do.”

That stopped him in his tracks, eyes burning as he let go of you. “Jesus Christ,” he hissed, throwing your dress over his pile of clothes, “you’re fuckin’ unbelievable.”

Freed from his grip, a smirk pulled at your lips as you shuffled up the bed. Leaning back on your elbows, you seductively parted your legs for him, showing him the darkened patch of fabric scarcely covering your cunt.

“You keep saying that,” you smiled, saccharine and sticky like syrup. 

“I’ll stop when you finally start behavin’.” Joel’s hand wrapped around your ankle, tugging you towards him with a hard jerk, making a giggly squeal escape you. 

“Never– HEY!”

A ripping sound tore through the room, your skimpy panties tattered in his large hands. A smirk spread over his face. The motherfucker looked mighty pleased with himself.

“Surprised you’re even wearin’ these,” he said, thumbing at the wet patch of arousal, before he tossed them to the floor. “A slut like you should’ve gone without, shouldn't you?” 

The warmth of his touch over your knees had you twitching for him, goosebumps following his hands as they rubbed gently up and down your legs. His eyes never left your face though, watching every reaction you gave up. 

“I…” your rebuttal trailed off when he fell to his knees, slotting between your own and spreading you open for him, one hand glided down the outside of your thigh to your ass, while the other found your aching clit.

Then he spat. A thick blob of saliva ran from the top of your mound down your clit, where it combined with your arousal shining through your glistening folds.

“Joel!?” you gasped when the rough pad made contact, pressing down with just the right amount of pressure, spreading his spit around in small circles. 

You kinda hated this part; getting eaten out. No partner had gotten it right before. Not that it wasn’t enjoyable, it could be, but never seeing stars good… And you couldn’t help but think about that first time someone had gone down on you, about the boytoy you’d had wrapped around your finger freshman year. He’d given you an orgasm maybe 60% of the time he’d fucked you (which was a better successrate than your later hook-ups), but his comment as he’d gotten on his knees for you for the first time still rang loudly in your head.

It’s not supposed to look like that, is it? 

The small laugh he’d let out had only made it worse, and you’d dumped him less than twenty-four hours later. Now, you hated having a man this close to your pussy.

Your hand found Joel’s shoulder, where it pushed. “I don’t…” you interrupted yourself with a hand over your face, not wanting to look at him.

“What, baby?” 

Suddenly he was there, hovering above you, caging you in with his body, heavy hand pushing at your own over your face. 

“Ain’t in the mood for the orgasm I owe ya, is that it?” he smirked, and you stayed obstinately silent for a second.

“What is it, hm?” he asks you, “Not gonna let me taste that pretty pussy?” 

Pretty…

“Joel…” 

Your eyes searched his face, looking to find where he’d hidden his lie. His face grew sterner, eyebrows pulling together in a furrow. 

“Tell me.”

Your front tooth caught on your lip and a heat prickled up your neck. You couldn’t tell him, you just couldn’t. Joel’s palm found your cheek, heavy and safe against your skin, letting his thumb sooth you and your eyelids fluttered from his touch. A breath got caught in your throat when he leaned forward, placing a soft kiss to the column of your neck, your pulse vibrating under his lips.

“Do I have to wring it outta you?” he whispered against your skin, his hand gliding from your cheek to fit around your neck. The air between you changed and you forced yourself to snap back into your disguise. 

“I’d like to see you try.”

A deep rumbling laugh vibrated against your skin and Joel found your eyes again. His hand around your neck soothed over your skin and you found yourself pushing up into his hand, daring him to tighten his grip.

“There she is… my brat,” he smiled.

Mine.

He was gone before the possessive word could settle, hovering over your body as he rid himself of his shirt. You couldn’t help but drink him in, he was so handsome, broad and strong with speckled grey hairs trailing to the heavy bulge hidden away behind the soft fabric of his dress pants. His undone belt clicked as he moved closer, climbing onto the bed between your legs.

“Scoot up,” Joel ordered with a tap to the outer skin of your thigh. 

The huff you let out was exasperated, earning you a stern look as his large palms found the cheeks of your ass, patting your skin lightly, before he helped you move. The way he fluffed the pillows behind your back was almost tender, and your eyebrows pulled together in the slightest frown. 

“Is your definition of ‘wringin’ it outta me’–” you mocked his drawl, “–fucking like a boring old married couple in missionary? Is that what you used to do with your wife?”

The way Joel’s eyes hardened made a smile break over your face. Quickly, you regretted the smile when his hand clasped around your wrist, bending it backwards towards the bed post.

“Hey! What are you doing?” you demanded, playfully fighting against his grip, but Joel was too strong.

“Behave.”

“But I hate that,” you exclaimed with a sigh, pushing your head back into the pillow.

His silk tie tickled against the thin skin under your wrist, and you had to turn your head to watch him as he tied your hand to the bed. The way he did it exuded no nonsense; his eyebrows were tied together in concentration as practiced fingers danced over the knots, testing them with a light tug.

“I’m givin’ you what you ain’t closed to earned– so you oughta be grateful, princess, ‘nd thank me,” he told you as he moved on to your other hand.

Joel raised an eyebrow at you when he grabbed a hold of it, daring you to put up a fight again. 

“Thank you, Daddy.” 

The way you said it was sugary sweet, and you knew he didn’t believe a word you said, but a pleased smile settled over his lips either way. Then his fingers found his belt, tugging it from his waist all in one go, his muscles moved under his skin from the strain. The leather felt harsher around your skin than his tie, but Joel made sure to not tie it to tightly. When he was pleased with you, he found his spot between your legs again. 

His rough hands teased over your naked skin, eyes fixed on the way it gave way for him when he squeezed ever so slightly. You couldn’t help but watch him – there was nothing you could do now, your hands literally tied. 

“I oughta tie these too I reckon,” he mused, pushing your legs wider, “but I’m outta rope,” he chuckled, way too pleased with his own joke.

“Ha-ha-ha,” you said, voice dry with an unimpressed look on your face. 

Lowering himself, he placed playful lovebites to the soft skin of the inside of your thigh. The lower he got, the closer he got, you felt yourself brace for impact as your eyes found the ceiling. 

You felt his hot breath first, gentle huffs against your spit-soaked clit. How soft his kiss was, you didn’t expect– didn’t expect the fluttering touch of his lips down your pussy, so gentle against the core of you. A stuttering breath caught in your throat, and quickly you melted against the pillows. 

“Hey,” Joel caught your attention. He had that look in his eyes, something dark and filled with lust as he let the scratch of his rough beard rub against the thin skin of your inner thigh. “Look at me, only me, you hear?” 

He underlined his order with a soothing kiss to the sensitive skin, pulling a nod from you. Pleased, his lips skated downwards, teeth nipping playfully at the skin, leaving small bursts of electricity in the wake of his touch. 

“Such a pretty pussy, baby– all wet ‘nd messy f’me.” Joel spoke with a deep bass, as two fingers found your seam, swiping them through your folds. “Listen,” he told you, as the slick sound of your arousal filled the cabin. 

The beat in your chest seemed louder and louder in your ears the more he taunted you. You didn’t want to do this with Joel – fake it – feel that stone of disappointment sink into the depths of yourself as the orgasm you so desperately wanted fizzled away into nothing. Couldn’t he just rub your clit a little? Finger you instead? 

With his fingers Joel spread you apart and a heat travelled up your neck. You felt so exposed, and you had to fight not to look away from him when he leaned forward with the flat of his tongue, tasting you. A breath caught in your throat like a reflex, and a low hum rumbled out of Joel’s chest, almost in… contentment. Your eyebrows met in a furrow then.

He couldn’t seriously like this? 

He continued to lap at your folds, taking his time, and it felt… good, really good. When he licked a stripe from your hole to your clit, you couldn’t fight back your moan. 

“C’mon, let me hear you, princess,” he said, his tone of voice way too cocky.

He latched on to your clit, sucking and flicking his tongue in a way no man had ever done before. It was intense, sloppy, almost primal. Small, breathy sighs built in your chest, and you wished you could touch him, hold on to him.

Joel licked down through your folds again; his tongue teasing at your hole. “Is–” you cut yourself off with a surprised gasp, reeling from the way his tongue pushed into you. “Is t-this what you call e-eating pussy?” you tried again to taunt, far from convincing. 

Joel didn’t bother with a reply. Instead, he switched his tongue with his fingers. The wet mix of your arousal and saliva made the slide easy. A breathy whimper escaped your lips when he curled them, hitting the spongy spot inside you and hurling you quickly towards your release.

“Fuck,” you sighed, bucking your hips against his lips closing around your clit again.

You couldn’t stay still, your hips moving erratically to meet the swipes and zigzags of his tongue. Never had it felt like this, this good, this perfect. His fingers moved easily in and out, in and out, with a slick squelch. Squeezing your eyes shut, Joel coaxed you closer and closer to your orgasm. The pads of his fingers hit you just right, massaging with every thrust. An increasing pressure swiweled in your stomach around the laps of his tongue around your clit. Your back moved on it’s own, arching off the bed as his makeshift restraints tightened with your movement. A hand found your ass then, holding you flush to his face and you felt yourself starting to wither.

“There she goes… my good girl,” he hummed against you, “Come all over my tongue, princess.”

You let the wave of pleasure wash over you with a broken scream. You didn’t have to fake a thing as your whole body shook with your orgasm. His fingers continued their pace, pushing through your spasming walls and prolonging your ecstasy. Every sigh and whimpering moan was real, and you lost yourself in the buzzing feeling of Joel taking you apart and putting you back together again. 

When the aftershocks fizzled out Joel pulled his fingers, slicked up and soaked from your cunt. A cocky grin coated his face as he brought his fingers to his mouth, licking your cum off his fingers. When your eyes found his, something in them had you slipping under, a want so strong to drown in them. 

He climbed off the bed, your blissed out gaze rolling over him as he removed his dress pants and underwear. You could feel yourself go doe eyed when he took his hard cock in hand, giving it a few practiced tugs as he studied you at his mercy, spread apart and dripping with a mix of your pearly arousal, his spit and your cum. 

He was perfect; his broad chest, tanned under the Texan sun with speckled hairs trailing down his torso where it ended in a dark wiry patch at the base of his impressive cock. Your mouth dropped open in the smallest of o’s – you wanted to taste him again, feel your spit mixed with his precum on your tongue, the thick head of his cock knock at the back of your throat. 

“Daddy…” you pleaded, putting on your best puppy dog eyes.

“What, princess?” he taunted, voice laced with fake pity as he climbed on the bed again. Letting go of his thick cock, he wrapped his hands under your armpits and hiked you upright against the pillows. Under him you couldn’t help but soften at the edges.

“What d’you want, huh? What does my slut want?” he continued, straddling your body, two strong thighs on either side of your torso. He was so close like this, veiny cock inches from your waiting mouth. Reluctantly, you tore your gaze away to find his eyes, focusing hard on finding your words as you could see him start to stroke himself again in your peripheral. The large head of his cock grazed your lips with every stroke, pearling a salty taste of precum for you to taste.

“Why do you ask, when you already know?” you said, your voice lacking your infamous bite. A smile tore at Joel’s face, and a rumbling laugh escaped him as he moved closer. 

“Maybe my cock pluggin’ up that throat will make you behave f’me?” he mused, like he was speaking his inner thoughts out loud and you weren’t even there. “At least  you’d be quiet for once.”

His other hand found your chin, then, robbing you of your answer as he squeezed at the flesh, forcing your mouth to pop open. “Kiss it for Daddy, princess,” he ordered, slapping his cock on your waiting tongue. 

When he let go of your face, you wrapped your plush lips around his thick head, suckling wet kisses to the tip. A lewd moan escaped you at the familiar taste of him, his musk filling your nostrils. It was addicting, Joel was addicting, and you needed more.

The desperate whine you let out, earned you a reprimanding slap to your cheek. “Don’t get greedy now, ‘m gonna give ya what you want,” he told you and pulled back, while the sting prickled away. You couldn’t help the pout forming, and Joel was quick to sooth it away with his thumb tracing over your lips. 

“Listen, baby,” he found your eyes, “You kick me, alright? You kick me ‘f you wanna stop.”

“Okay,” you sighed.

“Okay, what?” he demanded with a slap of his cock against your cheek, smearing glistening precum over your skin.

“Okay, Daddy,” you smiled and dropped your mouth open so he could feed you his cock – all the way this time.

“That’s it, my good girl.”

Eagerly, your plush lips wrapped around his cock, his heavy cock plugged up your throat as he made room for himself. You didn’t gag right away like last time, you had practice now. As he pushed himself deeper, his hand braced himself against the headboard, while the other cradled your head – his rough thumb skated gently over your skin as he gently rocked his hips.

“Fuck,” he moaned above you, “That’s it, slut, let me feel your throat open f’me.”

Closing your eyes, you tried to calm yourself, holding back your gag reflex as tears started to prickle at your eyes. Even with practice, Joel wasn’t easy to take. Your lips stretched wide around the girth of him, swollen and used as spit slicked up his pubes. With each rock of his hips you felt the bulbous head knock at the back of your throat, bruising your flesh.

The sight of you must’ve been pornographic; your throat bulging with every rock of his hips as your spit dripped down your chest, pooling at his thighs stretched over your chest.

A vicious gag choked you, and Joel pulled back quickly, his cock wet with your spit bopping heavily in front of you face. You spluttered between gasps of air, spit bubbling at the corners of your mouth as tears ran in a steady stream, smudging your make-up. His hand cradling your head tightened slightly, tilting you to catch his eyes as something close to worry flashed over his face.

“Don’t close your eyes, you hear me?” his voice was strict, “‘nd I need ya to kick me!”

“Keep going!” 

Your voice was hoarse and wet, but it didn’t seem to convince Joel. His face gave nothing away, stern and hard, teeth biting down a scowl – but his hands were tender, stroking at your skin.

“Ain’t ever been with a woman who’s as much of a slut as you I reckon,” he mused, his hand leaving your face to grip himself, tapping the length of himself against your skin.

“Embarrassing way to admit you haven’t been with a lot of women, Joel,” you told him, hiding your smile behind a soft kiss to the wet head of his cock. 

“Jesus Christ.” A laugh escaped him, surprisingly light for someone out to punish you. 

Moving your head, you started to press light kisses down his shaft, waiting for Joel to take control again, to punish you – like you ‘deserved,’ but all he did was a whole lot of nothing. When your tongue finally reached the base of him, your cheek pressed into the crease between his thigh and hip as your lips brushed gently against the soft skin of his balls – so heavy and full. Wrapping his hand around himself, he stroked in languid motions, like he savored it, wanted to memorize every calculated jerk.

“‘s that what you want, huh?” he asked, voice low and dark, almost tainting, and you couldn’t hold back the mewl escaping you. “Go on then, princess, suck on my balls like a good whore.”

With his other hand he guided one of his balls to your mouth. When you wrapped your lips around him, suckling gently at the sensitive skin, a deep groan fell from Joel’s lips.

“That’s good, princess, that’s so fuckin’ good.”

Being so close, breathing in the masculine musk of him, you almost squirmed under his weight, your cunt desperate and dripping with arousal. You felt so dirty, sucking on the balls of a man more than twice your age as he had his way with you. It would never feel like this again with anyone else – you knew it, you didn’t know how, but you did. 

“C’mon, give the other one some sugar too.”

Humming out in an agreement, you let go with a pop as he guided the other ball into your waiting mouth for you to suckle around. The rhythm of his strokes picked up when you flattened your tongue, licking at the seam.

“God,” he groaned, “such a fuckin’ slut f’me– so fuckin’ desperate for my balls in your mouth–” 

Joel cut himself off with a deep groan, as he backed up, making you chase after him as he held himself at the base, squeezing. Your restraints dug into your wrists, and you whined in defeat. 

This bondage act was starting to get old.

“Gonna come already, old man?” 

Joel didn’t seem to like your attitude, his joints cracking as he climbed back onto the bed, the welcomed weight of him now gone. 

“That’s rich,” he spat, “coming from the one showin’ up here all desperate for me to fuck her.”

“Well, I’m waiting,” you told him with a roll of your eyes, voice bored. 

That seemed to finally inspire some action in him. With stern eyes, and a stern grip, Joel parted your legs to slot between. The way his hands dug into your skin hurt, angry finger-shaped welts as he manuveroured you, had you wishing for the dizzying pain of a bruise tomorrow to remind you of this, of Joel.

Your hips bucked when you felt the blunt head of his cock against your clit, making him throw a hand over your waist to keep you still. A heat coated your cheeks when you heard it, the slick sound of your wet cunt as he dragged himself up and down your folds, coating himself in your desperation. 

“Missionary?” you bit, fighting hard to hold back your moans as he teased at your dripping opening, “You’re so old fashioned.”

“I like to watch brats break when they finally get a cock in them,” he bit back, “Now beg f’mine.”

“No,” you hiccuped, with a weak shake of your head. 

Joel played dirty – his thumb came up to graze over your clit, as he continued to tease his cock at your opening, pressing in slightly and then pulling out again just as quickly. He had you squirming for him in seconds, desperate to feel him make a home for himself inside you.

“Beg, brat.”

His thumb on your clit pressed down harder in tight, practiced figure eights, and you had no choice but to break. You needed him, needed Joel inside. 

“Please,” you gasped, “Please, fuck me.”

But Joel continued circling his thumb, drawing you closer to the edge again. It got harder and harder to stay still as he pushed at your boundaries. Everything inside you screamed for him, like you were a piece of metal and he was the magnet. You couldn’t stay away, you’d always end up pressed against him. 

“Whose cunt is this?” he demanded, suddenly hovering above you, dark eyes staring into yours. A large palm held your head in place, anchoring you to him, his face, this moment.

“Yours,” you whispered, “Yours, Joel.”

His name left your lips as a sight, the syllables stolen out of the air when he pushed at your opening, heavy cock splitting you in two and seating himself in your heat. He had your legs shaking, head lulling into his palm at the pleasurable pressure poking at the depths of you, where no one but Joel could reach.

“It’s okay, baby– you come on that cock if ya need to,” he hummed, a hint of condescension in his low voice as he continued to rub your clit.

Everything was coming to a head. Pleasure beamed through your body, like a supernova, as you exploded for Joel, shaking under his body as your eyes rolled back in your head. Whimpering moans stole your breaths, and you almost didn’t register Joel’s deep voice rumbling against the collum of your throat.

“C’mon… that’s it… good girl, that’s my good girl– y’feel so good, baby.”

His warm breath felt sticky against your skin, and you found yourself hoping he’d never leave; that you could somehow tattoo how he felt against you on your skin, let him mark you as his. 

When your legs stopped shaking, Joel’s thumb stopped bullying your clit. He let you catch your breath, heaving chest slowing to steady rhythm again. His eyes found yours again, and for a moment they were almost tender, as something real started to weigh between you. You wanted to say something, anything, but Joel pulled away, hooking his arms under your knees before he finally started to pound into you, chasing his own high.

“Fuck,” you gasped, your walls already sensitive from the multiple orgasms he’d already given you. The way he split you open around the girth of him, it was always too much, you couldn’t see how you’d ever get used to the feeling of him. 

Joel's breath got heavier as he picked up his pace, balls slapping wetly against your ass, as deep groans vibrated through his chest.

“That’s it, princess, you take it,” he rambled, “Good girl– go dumb on that cock f’me.”

His hands dug into your skin, his mind so caught up in you, in the way you felt squeezing around him.

Slap, slap, slap.

He was so deep, he must’ve fucked his way into your stomach. You felt yourself go limp in his arms, letting him take what he needed, letting him use you for his own pleasure. 

“God, y’were made f’takin’ my big cock, baby.”

“Gonna fill up this pretty cunt– watch it leak outta ya.”

“Please,” you begged between harsh thrusts, your tits bouncing with every sway of his hips, “Please, come inside me, Daddy.”

With a particularly sharp thrust, his balls pulled tight against your ass, and Joel came. Deep groans of satisfaction filled your ears, the sweetest sound, as he pumped you full. He rutted into you until there was nothing left, your cunt overflowing with his sticky seed. A content sigh left your lips at the feeling, your body finally sated. 

Thoughts traveled to the next moments, how you wanted him to pull you into his chest, strong arms pulled tight around your body as you both calmed down. To be held close in his embrace, a comforting hand at the back of your neck. You wanted him to kiss you, longed to feel his lips brush over yours. You searched for Joel’s eyes, searched for a small inkling of reciprocation.

Maybe you’d say something stupid – finally let go of all the feelings you can’t control anymore.

But Joel’s eyes didn’t want to catch yours, and he pulled away too quickly, sliding his softening cock from your ruined cunt. You were gonna make a mess of his sheets, you probably already had judging from the slick feeling on the inside of your thighs as you closed them. 

Something in the air felt loaded suddenly, and you wanted to reach for him, touch his rough skin and ground yourself away from your nagging insecurities– But you couldn’t, your hands were bound. His strong back muscles moved under his skin as he fished his shirt from the floor, now crinkled, ruined. 

“Wanna go again?” you tried, pushing at his back, barely out of reach, with your foot. 

He let you push at him, but the sigh he let out as he stood to his feet to get dressed had your stomach tie itself in a knot. 

“This ain’t happenin’ again,” he sighed, getting dressed. 

“Sure,” you nodded in a scoff, unconvinced as a mischievous smile tugged at the corner of your mouth. Between your legs you felt yourself start to leak, his thick spend running down your folds to your ass, and onto the sheets.

When he finally turned around, large fingers fiddling with the small buttons of his shirt, his eyes finally caught yours. Biting down on your lip, you spread your legs coquettishly, showing him where he’d claimed you. 

His eyes, however, never wandered, the familiar warmth that you had seen barely a few minutes ago now gone, his expression stoic and unreadable. You felt the knot in your stomach from earlier tighten.

“I’m serious,” he told you, and almost on instinct you felt your legs close as he leaned over you, untying one of your hands, “You ever pull something like this again, and it’ll be the last time you ever see me.” 

You felt your face drop despite yourself as he untied the other hand, the corners of your mouth straightening out as a small frown appeared between your brows. You were silent for a moment as Joel walked to the other end of the room, plucking his jacket up off of the chair. Your eyes tracked his movements apprehensively. 

“I thought you liked it when I behaved this way,” you said eventually, and you hated the way your tone sounded. You had meant for it to be a challenge, a call-out of his hypocrisy, but instead you sounded like a child; disappointed and petulant. 

“Listen,” he started, voice calm but with a seriousness that made a nervousness tug at the back of your neck. “You’ve had your fun, and I can tolerate a lotta shit, but–... you gotta learn some fuckin’ boundaries.” Your frown only deepened at his words. 

“Comin’ here–” his voice stalled as he shook his head, shrugging on the jacket “This is my family, my brother’s wedding– my fuckin’ daughter is here… You can’t just show up in my life like some kind of trainwreck every time you need me to fuck you.” 

“How else am I supposed to do it? You don’t exactly text,” you bit back, “And don’t pretend like you don’t like it,” you fumbled for a retort. 

“That’s just a shitty excuse for unacceptable behaviour, and you know it,” Joel said, and you felt yourself get angry at how calm he was. 

It was embarrassing; your cheeks burned bright like a flame, and it fueled a deep pit of annoyance inside of you, one you didn’t even know existed as your jaw bit down in a clench. Lifting your chin in a defiant scoff, you’re not proud of the next words out of your mouth.

“You’re full of shit,” you said with a shake of your head, “You’ll barely last a week and you know it... you love it, love putting me in my place like this.”

“Sure I do,” Joel said with a nonchalant shrug, “But I sure as shit didn't sign up to deal with your antics... that’s a job for your real Daddy, sweetheart.”   

That last comment felt like a slap in the face. A job for your real Daddy. In your chest you felt something cave in, as a paralyzing shock swept over your body. You went cold, so cold as your eyes drifted past Joel, and swiveled into the wood walls. He was right, Joel was right, but you never imagined he’d slap you in the face like this with the truth. 

“So, listen up now, this is what you’re gonna do,” Joel said as he stepped towards you, looking you straight in the eye, ”You're gonna take your shit, ‘nd your shitty attitude, ‘nd you're gonna quietly slip outta here ‘nd pretend like you were never even fuckin’ here in the first place. ‘s that clear?” 

You were barely able to nod before he stepped back and turned his back on you. When his hand found the doorknob, he threw you one last look. 

“You better not be here when I get back.”

part four -> here!

hopefully this was okay? please let me know what you thought of the new part! a comment telling me your favorite part is always welcome, and my ask box is always open to chat <3 and thank you for reading!!

© shellshocklove, 2024 i do not give any permission to repost, translate, feed to AI or redistribute any of my writing, with or without credit!

[motomamita]

old!moviedirector!könig × actress!reader

warnings: +18, smut, manipulation, abuse of power, sex on camera, no condom, age difference.

Imagine old!moviedirector!König who loves being part of the casting for each of his successful films. He is not only known for his success but also for how perverted he becomes with his actresses.

This time, his next film has as its protagonist a woman who is everything that is known as a femme fatale. Obviously, König was not going to miss the auditions to find his ideal leading lady.

Several girls passed by and tried their best to try to leave a good impression on König and his assistants, but none of them succeeded. Then you arrived. You look totally innocent and naive despite having done everything necessary to look like the main character. You were wearing a tight dress, red lips, and eyeliner that highlighted your look.

König quickly put your presentation folder aside, putting it away next to his belongings. You had no experience in acting and much less idea of ​​how film productions were handled. That's why you didn't find it strange when König called you on your phone and invited you to his house to chat about your audition.

You arrived dressed as the main character because König requested it. He welcomed you into his luxurious home and you shared a couple of drinks. You talked about your life and your desire to act in Hollywood while König only paid attention to your breasts that protruded from the tight dress. Soon he invited you to sit on the couch to talk more comfortably about what he expected of you.

"You know... When you came in for the audition you totally blew me away." König began speaking, your heart racing at his words.

"Thank you. I really want the role of the protagonist, I have worked hard." You explained excitedly, watching as he put his glass aside.

"Yeah? But I have to tell you that I'm not entirely sure you're going to get it..." your worried look forced him to continue talking. "It's a very risky character and I need a girl who is really willing to give it her all."

"Please, sir..." you interrupted him, moving a few centimeters closer to him. "I feel capable of achieving it, I can give everything and more..." you also assured, leaving your glass aside.

König looked at your face and couldn't help but smile at your need, it excited him to know the power he had over you. He slowly placed his hand on your bare thigh, caressing your skin with his rough hand.

"I need you to prove it. I need you to show me that you are capable of anything for the role." He spoke softly, moving his hand up a little towards your center. "Look, there are risque scenes in the movie..."

"I will do it, I will do whatever it takes." You nodded your head, sure of yourself.

"Show it to me. Show me that you're not afraid to suck a good cock on camera." He quickly took out his home video camera and turned it on, recording your face in the foreground.

You hesitated for a few seconds at his direct request but in the end you agreed. You kneel in front of him and König opened his legs giving you access between them, he wanted you to open his pants. Determined, you went to his zipper and soon noticed the hard erection it hid. His cock was thick, uncut and precum glistened at the tip.

"Come on, darling, win the lead role." He encouraged you by pointing his camera at your face and at his cock that was centimeters away.

You started by giving him a few kitten licks while jerking off his cock. König moaned loudly and stretched out even further on the large sofa, enjoying your wet tongue. You soon took him into your mouth, breathing through your nose and trying your best to make him feel good. König brought one of his free hands to the back of your head, forcing you down to the base of his cock.

"Come on, take it all in your mouth.. What a good girl.." he encouraged you as you noticed how your throat squeezed his cock.

When you felt like you were about to faint, König grabbed your hair and pulled you away from him. Your saliva was dripping down your chin and your breathing was labored. König laughed lightly at seeing you like that and made sure he had filmed your expression.

"Enough, now lie down."

You obeyed and lay down on the large sofa. König finished taking off his pants and then focused his attention on you.

"Look at what a beauty.." he commented, bringing one of his hands to your chest, massaging it over the fabric of your dress. "Show me those tits, come on!"

You obeyed and left your breasts exposed for the camera and for König, of course. He brought his hands to you again and caressed your breasts, pinching your nipples making you moan.

"Let me see what you're hiding here.." Now he record your pussy covered by small panties that showed how wet you were. Without waiting for orders you took them off, showing your wet pussy. "This pussy is the pussy of the next Oscar winner."

König massaged your clit with his thumb making you moan at the sensation of his touch. Then, he slowly inserted his index finger into your pussy, pumping it and listening to the dirty sounds due to your wetness.

"You want this job, huh? You're going to let me fuck this pussy?" The camera came to your face, recording your expression and how you nodded your head. "Let me hear you, use your words.."

"I want you to fuck me, please, fuck me!" you begged, hugging him around the waist with your legs.

König placed the camera in a position where only you were in the image. He spit in his hand and masturbated, looking at you with total desire, he was finally going to fulfill his fantasy.

"This is going to hurt a little.." he murmured placing his cock at the entrance of your pussy. Slowly he entered inside you, feeling how your wet walls received his thick cock. "Shit, you're so tight.."

You placed your hands on his shoulders and bit your lip trying to cope with the pain between your legs. When König was inside you, he moved slowly while massaging your clit. You moaned his name loudly and dug your nails into his shoulders, turning him on even more.

"Do you like it? Uh? Fucking your boss to get the lead character?" He asked, bringing his mouth to your ear and sucking on some of your sensitive skin there.

"Yes! I love it, fuck me harder!" You moaned, hugging him even more with your legs and feeling how his cock moved against you.

König obeyed you and increased the speed of his thrusts, hitting his skin hard against your pussy. Your moans increased in volume and you hugged him even tighter, feeling his balls slap against your ass.

"Fuck, baby. I'm going to cum, I'm going to cum!" König moan and, without stopping moving, grabbed the camera again and pointed it at you. "Show me, show me that beautiful face while I cum inside you!"

You made your face look more pleased and you let yourself be carried away by his hard thrusts. Soon, König came in front of you, filling you with his thick, hot liquid.

After a few weeks, you received a call from him. You had earned the role.

[maybe-boys-do-love]

It's wild that the whole global trend of gay-focused happy ending romance shows and movies has only been going on for *looks at calendar* a measly ten years!

Just ten years ago. 2014. That's when you get the discovery of a market for queer romance series and films with happy endings. That year the OG Love Sick in Thailand came out. Brazil puts out The Way He Looks, which deserves so much more credit than it receives for influencing the aeshtetics of the genre. Looking premieres on HBO, and although it had low ratings, it's an important touchstone. And, despite Nickelodeon’s censorship and shifting the program from tv to its website, the Legend of Korra confirms Korrasami in its season finale.

The next year, in 2015, we get Love Sick season 2, and China, pre-censorship laws has a few options: Happy Together (not the Wong Kar Wai one lol), Mr. X and I, and Falling In Love with a Rival. Canada, premieres Schitt's Creek. In the US, Steven Universe reveals Garnet as a romantic fusion between two female characters, and will proceed to just be so sapphic. Norwegian web series Skam premieres and sets up a gay protagonist for its third season, which will drop in 2016 and entirely change the global media landscape.

Then, 2016! This is the MOMENT. That aforementioned Skam season happens. Japan puts out the film version of Ossan's Love and anime series Yuri!!! on Ice. China has the impactful Addicted Heroine, which directly leads to increased censorship. The US has Moonlight come out and take home the Oscar. In Thailand, GMMTV enters the BL game and Thai BL explodes: Puppy Honey, SOTUS, Water Boyy, Make It Right, plus, the Thai Gay OK Bangkok, which, like its influence, Looking, is more in the queer tradition but introduces two dramatically important directors to the Thai BL industry, Aof and Jojo.

By 2017, Taiwan enters the game with its History series. Korea’s BL industry actually kicks off with Method and Long Time No See. Thailand’s got too many BLs to mention. Call Me By Your Name, though not a happy ending, makes a big splash that will send ripples through the whole genre, and God's Own Country offers a gruff counter-argument to problematic age differences and twink obsessions. This is also the year of Netflix reboot of One Day At a Time bringing some wlw to the screen, and the Disney Channel has a main character come out as ‘gay’ on Andi Mack ( I’m am ready to throw fists with anyone who thinks the Disney Channel aesthetic isn’t a part of current queer culture). And I'd be remiss not to mention the influential cult-following of chaotic web-series The Gay and Wondrous Life of Caleb Gallo: "Sometimes things that are expensive...are worse."

All this happened, and we hadn’t even gotten to Love, Simon, Elite, or ITSAY, yet.

Prior to all this there are some major precursors some of which signaled and primed a receptive market, others influenced the people who'd go on to create the QLs. Japan has a sputtering start in the 2010s with a few BL films (Takumi-Kun, Boys Love, and Jujoun Pure Heart). Most significantly in the American context, you have Glee, and its ending really makes way for the new era that can center gay young people in a world where queerness, due to easy access to digital information, is less novel to the characters. And the QL book and graphic novel landscape was way ahead of the television and film industries, directly creating many of the stories that the latter industries used.

There's plenty of the traditional queer media content (tragic melodramas and independent camp comedies) going on prior to and alongside QL, and there are some outlying queer romance films with happy endings that precede the era but feel very much akin to QL genre tropes and goals, many with a focus on postcolonial and multicultural perspectives (Saving Face, The Wedding Banquet, Big Eden, Maurice, My Beautiful Launderette, and Weekend). I don't mean to suggest that everything I’ve listed ought to be categorized as QL.

Rather, I want to point out how all of these new-era queer romance works are in a big queer global conversation together, in the creation of a new contemporary genre, a genre that has more capacity and thematic interest to include digital technology and normalize cross-cultural relationships than other genres (there's a reason fansubs and web platforms are so easily accepted and integrated to the proliferation of these series).

You're not too late to be part of the conversation. Imagine being alive in the 1960s and 70s and participating in the blossoming of the sci-fi genre. That flowering is where gay romance sits now. Join the party.

[yeonmuse]

ᥫ᭡ f!reader x yang Jungwon ── 𝒢enre. Uni au. fluff, non idol enha. feats. ot7 [reqs are open] ᝰ.ᐟ 𝓁ibrary 🎧

authors 𝓃𝑜𝓉𝑒𝓈 I honestly have no idea where this came from I just thought of anti social Jungwon and Anti social reader coming together and this is where it got me. This is part of admins Enhypen University Special Series

ᦓynopsis Jungwon is a film major that finds honestly complete captivated by an antisocial girl with a love for the stars and a passion for music

TAGLIST CLOSED FOR THIS SERIES

Who is she?

Jungwon spent years perfecting his craft, spent years further building his experience and techniques with his cinematography skills. Since the age of nine he had always found delight in having held a camera in his hands, by the age of 16 he experienced his first movie that opened his eyes into the world that was cinematography girl interrupted, though the movie itself was gruesome and somber it was one which he favored for its overbearing cinematography, the color grading and timing of every scene pulled the audience in and forced them to feel everything that the protagonist herself had experienced. Age seventeen his parents gifted him a camera for his birthday, a camera which further sparked his love for film and cinema. He and his friends would find themselves making short films or every log of their lives, though it became even more serious for Jungwon when a short film made by the seven of them won their towns film festival and earned him a full ride scholarship into any university of his choice.

She didn’t like people, she never liked people because they made her far too nervous for a multitude of listed reasons. From the age of six to eight children always proved to be rude, mean and annoying. She’d simply want to make friends though the endless bullying and teasing pushed her further and further from that goal. She simply ghosted her way through the entirety of her middle school years until the time to attend high school had come, it was then that her view on people had only worsened, she sat in silence nearly every day having to observe the bullying, countless fights, the endless number of attention whores and line upon lines of men that simply wanted to get into the pants of her and the many other young women that attended the school. Simply put high school took the cake for the most hellish and torturous years of her school life.

The only ongoing thing in her life that helped her dissociate her way through were the stars she’d see from her window growing up, though as she grew older the stars stopped showing up and slowly faded from the sky, and by the time she turned sixteen it was as if they ceased to exist. Now here she is alone yet again, this time without her parents or younger siblings to fall back upon, as they had been hours, and states away.

A sigh spilled past her lips as her gaze scans the campus of her new home for the next four years. She gave a silent prayer that things here would be different from high school, that some were all older and much more mature, that things wouldn’t be the same. Boy did the lord completely disregard that prayer, because it was a near carbon copy, the only difference being more people knew how to mind their business.

Jungwon eyed her curiously from afar as she stood in the courtyard for what felt like hours just staring into the void. Hundreds of girls on campus and yet his eyes just so happen to fall upon her, her who felt the moment anyone’s eyes fell upon her in classes, her who wouldn’t even want anything to do with him nor anyone else on campus.

It would continue on like that for months on end, Jungwons eyes somehow finding her amidst the overwhelming crowd of others, like a magnet of attraction they always found her. Whenever he’d look at her her head always seemed to be lost within the clouds, she always seemed so distant and distracted. Everywhere she went she wore those headphones and kept her head down as if she wanted to go unseen, but he saw her he always saw her.

Jungwon was someone that had never found interest in anyone other than himself or the same six friends he had known for the last seven years. Needless to say they themselves forced themself into his life but they had always been there ever since and he never felt like he needed anyone else. He never yearned for love nor for his heart to fiend for anyone. He had never desired sex, or the touch or kiss of another because he felt it to be impractical. Growing up he always had eyes on him, though it was attention that by him always went unwanted, but for some reason, here and now he finally experienced what it was like to yearn for someone's attention, for someone's gaze to fall upon him.

For 2 months he continued on this way, hoping that she would one day look his way but she never did. It frustrated him, so much so that he couldn’t even focus on his film making, he of all people? Any time he���d try to focus he wondered what it would be like to talk to her, what did her voice sound like? What was it like to see her smile? What kind of music did she listen to? He’d thought about asking around campus and endless amount of times but he never built the courage, he told himself that this was just a passing phase, that it was simply his mind yearning for some sort of muse, but it did nothing to lessen the ongoing fever of her that lingered every time she walked by.

Then one day, she walked into the library while he had been working on a project with his art study group and he took the chance to slip away without anyone noticing. His eyes curiously drank her in as she piled books into her arms.

She noticed him staring, she always noticed him staring, but what was she to say to him? She dreaded talking to people, dreaded talking to guys even more. With unspoken words she finally turns to face him and as her eyes meet Jungwons something within them sparks a flame. Realizing she had finally been looking at him, that he now fully had her attention his eyes widened almost instantaneously.

“Um.” What was he thinking? He didn’t even know what to say to her. “Hey so I’ve been watching you all this time because for some reason you interested me and I find you pretty? Will you do a film with me?”

“Jungwon, what are you doing? We need to hurry and finish this before tomorrow.” His unspoken words had gone interrupted as his given group called him back to his place at the camera. Jungwon mentally cursed, not knowing if this was an opportunity that he would get again.

“Jungwon..” his name melted on her tongue like cotton candy, her soft voice breaking the silence as she stood alone yet again. Though for some reason she felt slight disappointment.

Weeks had passed since Jungwon saw her again, he had gotten a taste of what it was like to have her look at him, to have her eyes on him and he yearned for it. So when given the opportunity he would force himself to talk to her, even if he didn’t know what to say.

Every day he’d find himself trudging through the aisles of the library, hoping to see her and eventually he did.

“Hi, I'm here to return my books.” That was the first time he heard her voice, a voice that made his ears melt, a voice that he wanted, no he needed to hear more of. If anyone were to view things from the outside they’d think him to be crazy, even he thought he was crazy, obsessing over some girl he had never even had the courage to approach until now. He didn’t understand why she had such a pull on him, and as much as he tried to dismiss the curious feeling and aching instinct to be close to her he couldn’t. Without thinking he pulled a random book from the shelf and stepped beside her at the opposing checkout.

“Oh Jungwon, are you checking out more books for your project? I thought you guys finished up yesterday?”

“Yeah we did, but you know I can never seem to stop the ideas from flowing.” Jungwon felt butterflies burn the pit of his stomach as he felt it again, her eyes on him.

For a moment her eyes did fall upon him, she was curious, curious as to who he was, what he and the other students had been doing in the library yesterday. Why did he approach her yesterday?

“Oh yn, have you met Jungwon?” Chaewon the library assistant seemed to notice her curious gaze and decided to break the overbearing tension that seemed to be pouring from the both of them.

“You’re always in here so maybe you saw him yesterday, he’s a film major, they’ve actually been looking for someone to help with choosing scores and soundtracks for one of their bigger projects, maybe you can help them since you’re good with music?” Her eyes widened and she glanced back and forth between her and Jungwon. At that moment she prayed that the ground would swallow her whole. She gave Chaewon a pleading look as if to ask her not to say another word but chaewon simply returned her look with a look of confusion.

Chaewon was the only thing close to a friend that yn had, ever since she started frequenting the library the girl had always been there. No matter how many times yn had tried to mind her business and avoid conversation Chaewon never stopped trying. Slowly but surely the girl found herself opening herself up a bit more to Chaewon.

“Do you really? We’ve been trying to find someone in the music department for months now that can match the vibe of the film and we’ve had no luck, if it's not a problem we could really use your help.” She hates the way he looks at her, expectantly, his soft eyes so full of hope that she might say yes. She felt her heartbeat quicken and her temperature rise as she froze on the spot. She always avoided people but now she had no way of avoiding the conversation at hand.

“Maybe?” That was enough, Jungwon didn’t need to hear anything else.

“Here's my number, if you do decide that you’d like to give it a try then you can text me? I’m always in the film room really late but I can swing by your dorm to get you if needed.” Hearing those words her soul completely left her body. Him? Come to her dorm.

“No! I mean- no it's okay i'll meet you in the courtyard? The big tree where the senior event planners usually sit?”

Chaewon couldn’t help but feel like she was missing something between the two of them but knowing yn she thought that maybe she was just feeling a little nervous or awkward talking to Jungwon. Both yn and Chaewon watch as Jungwon disappears from the library.

“He didn’t even sign for the book- ” Chaewon holds the book in her hand before looking down and reading the title.

“The kissing booth. Since when does he make romance films?” Chaewon shrugs and makes her way from behind the counter to put the book back in its rightful place, leaving the girl alone to drown in her thoughts.

The entire walk back to her dorm yn couldn’t stop overthinking and panicking. She couldn’t not show up because then she’d look like a bitch, but if she did agree to it then she would risk having to speak and be around groups of people which she completely dreaded.

Jungwon on the other hand couldn’t stop looking at his phone from the moment he had given her his number. If this were any other day he couldn’t care less about his phone. There had been many times heeseung would complain about his messages going unread or him having missed his calls since he was always working on some sort of project. Right here right now though, his eyes would shift to his phone every 5 minutes. An hour went by and he finally heard the ding of his cellphone. He blankly stared at his phone as he read the message sent by an unknown contact. What should he say?

Jungwon couldn’t help but chuckle at her panicked text, she was cute. He had gone from not even knowing her and not talking to her to wanting to only hear and see her talk. With a smile on his lips he responds to her panicked messages “meet me at the magnolia tree”

Next Part | Series Masterlist

[is-the-sky-blue]

DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS (PT 2): GOJO SATORU & GETO SUGURU

Synopsis: When you have questions about physical intimacy Satoru and Suguru are quick to answer them.

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, satosugu x fem!reader, pet names, praise, teasing, fingering, finger sucking, spanking, begging, oral (f + m receiving), cum eating, watching porn, masturbation, blowjob, handjob, titjob, face sitting, marking

Part 1 >Part 2< Part 3

You were just a couple of pals who made out once and a while and went out together all the time, some would say you were dating but the thought never really crossed your mind, mainly because you didn't dare think about it. Especially since the kisses you shared weren't given on the regular, even quick pecks hidden from the public's eyes, it was because these were your dirty little secrets.

Up until then every last one of your questions seemed quite plain, never really teetering over the edge to enter taboo territory, but that was until the high school first year, Satoru, forced the three of you to watch a rated R movie he rented under one of his butlers' names as your ever wealthy Satoru, born from the Gojo estate, abused his power once again, much to your disapproval.

The film was fine at first, sure the language was coarse as they dropped the f bomb more than the usual movies you were permitted to view so you thought the rating was just an overreaction made by some picky conservative parents or something, but quickly this film told you otherwise, the people who decided the age category to target this film towards yelling, "I told you so," right into your face as you watched the two actors begin to strip each other bare, lithe fingers unbuttoning the girl's blouse only for him to sexily rip off his tank top, revealing his rippling muscles to the camera as his hand snaked behind her back, unclasping her bra as her boobs spilled out, leaving the panting woman no time to catch her breath as his unrelenting lips broke from her mouth to suckle on her...tits? you were pretty sure that was the kind of language he used when he murmured into her hair, "your tits are so pretty," before leaning in.

The sight made your eyes narrow, watching as she let out a loud moan as his lips bite down onto her nipple as you found your hand coming up to slightly pat your own, now presenting chest. "Does it really feel that good," you ask skeptically, ignorantly unaware at the way two sets of teenage boy eyes made their way to you, adam apples bobbing in their throat and you didn't even think to question why there were pillows in their laps with a blanket over all your shoulders despite the weather growing warmer with each day. The awkwardness that first started creeping up your neck as the two characters made out, in a way that seemed far too intense, to lead to anything other than filthy, receding, that ashamed tinge that you think you are supposed to feel not really hitting you as you stared more confused than aroused by the sex scene that played out before you.

"I think so," Satoru scrunched his face, starting to feel like a nonbeliever as he shifted, no longer entranced by the erotic scene as he was before, despite this being his first introduction into the sinful world he always saw hinted at in all the shows he watched where male protagonists fell commonly fell into busty boobs and steam covered private parts as characters walked in on each other naked, fan service going crazy to try and keep eyes captivated on the screen, to find something to keep people around as the general plot was never any good. "Aren't you supposed to know, you're the girl," he huffed confused.

"Well I dunno," you mumble, "I don't think so," you tilt your head, you've scratched your breasts before when they were itchy and squeezed at your hanging boobs while in the shower, trying to wash away your sweat during the sticky summer months but nothing had ever made you moan, or even lightly gasp at even a fraction of the volume she did.

"She might just be faking it," Suguru nodded, "She is an actor," he says as though it's obvious as you watched as her, "nghs," and her, "ahs," started to seem more forced then natural, kinda sounding like when Satoru mocked your high pitched hiccups, that he claimed sounded like those rubber squeaky chickens, that Suguru brought you a cup of water to try and eradicate. 

"Guess so," you murmur, watching as her pink glossed lips parted into a pretty, 'oh,' shape, it was kind of a shame that it sounded so forced, the actor probably sounds really nice when she actually moaned.

"Now this scene feels annoying," Satoru huffed, side eying you, "way to ruin the mood," and you gaped at him.

"Hey!" you pout, "it's not my fault it looks so fake," you grumble, watching as Satoru leaned forward to skip past the scene, hitting different points along the progress bar and you watched as flickers of different moments flashed before you, brief images of her hand in his hair, him hovering over her, their pants coming off, and then the roll of his hips against where her private parts were, their bodies shaking but the camera not explicitly showing where they met, probably because they weren't actually having sex, until finally Satoru found where the sex ended and it was the morning after where they both lay nude in bed, coddled in each others arms and you had to admit that the scene of him cuddling their naked forms together as he pressed kisses into her neck with a good morning made you slightly aroused, the specks of praise you could hear him murmur as she caressed his chest making your thighs squeeze together just the tiniest bit.

The next time you mention sex is in your second year of high school, except it's not with Suguru or Satoru at all, but with your friend Ieiri Shoko. The two of you are sat in her bedroom, your backs leaning against the side of her bed as you found yourself seated on the floor again. Her laptop is open wide about a meter or so in front of you as the two of you huddled together, array of snacks in front of you as you commenced your annual girls' movie night.

She pulled the movie into full screen mode before hitting play, but instead of being greeted by the title scene of a classic chick flick you felt a desire to watch, the illegal website you pirated the film off of forced you into an ad, and not just any ad, it was a commercial for a porn site, you watched in surprised as a fully naked woman popped up in front of you, her tits shaking as her hips grinded down onto a pillow, rolling forward and the high pitched sound of her breathy moans spilled from Shoko's laptop speakers, the girl beside you not even bothering to lower the volume as her parents weren't home as the woman started pitching the website, "wanna see me cum! Then click the link and-" you zoned her out, more intrigued by the way her bare cunt slid against the fabric of her pillow.

"Why is she doing that," you mumble out, staring as her hips circle and you begin to see the white cushion start to turn damp.

"Humping her pillow or advertising for a porn site," Shoko hummed, not phased in the slightest at the scene that soon ended, returning you back to the film you were trying to watch.

"Humping," you ask, replaying the scene in your mind, "how does that feel good," you pondered, brows furrowed in confusion, your limited knowledge on all things sex related very much only focused on the actual intercourse and that's mostly because of all the sex-ed talks you had in school.

"It's because she's rubbing her clit on the pillow," the woman beside you answered nonchalantly, placing a blue gummy into your parted lips as you hummed in understanding, the word clit one of the few words stored in your little dictionary, eyes briefing over it a couple times when reading YA novels where the author decided to add in a spicy little smut scene. "It kept catching on the wrinkles," she continued, tearing open a bag, "but her moans were a little exaggerated." 

"How do you know?" you tilt your head, opening your mouth again, letting her place a fuzzy peach inside from her newly open snack.

"Well you aren't going to feel that good from a pillow," she explains, "I mean unless she was riding like the seam of it or something, but even then... " she trails off "regardless it isn't going to stimulate her well," she muses watching as the establishing shots and upbeat music slowly faded and zoned in on one of the characters voices.

Your next interaction with the topic is a couple months later. You sat around the low lying wooden table you set up in your bedroom, an array of coloured pens and mechanical pencils presented atop the surface as you scribbled graphite over the sheets of your notebook, textbook tucked in front of you as you sat cross legged on the floor, a cushion beneath your bum so you wouldn't feel the tingly pins and needles from sitting so long. Your friends Gojo and Geto are with you, sitting on the side of the table adjacent to where you remain perched, the consistent clicking of Satoru's pen had Suguru kicking him beneath your note packages before you found yourself puzzled by a particularly tricky math problem.

"Have you done number 8 b yet," you speak out, leaving the question for either one of them to answer but instead of a polite, yes or no, like you wished for, of course you had to be teased first.

"How are you still on number 8," Satoru snickers, earning him a pinch on his surprisingly toned arm, his lanky limbs beginning to grow just a touch beefier as he formed a newfound interest in the gym.

"I didn't ask you to make fun of me, I asked for help," you huffed, tapping the question in your textbook.

"I got x squared minus four x minus five," Suguru chimed from beside you and you groaned at your very much incorrect answer.

"Howww," you whined, staring at your different list of numbers as you reached for your eraser to try and rub away the shameful markings as Suguru slid his notebook into your eye line.

"Don't trust him," Satoru hums from your left and you offer him a skeptical glare. 

"What do you mean?"

"I got x squared plus four x minus five," he chimes and Suguru furrows his brows, "someone must've mixed up his subtraction and addition symbols," the snowy haired boy sing songed.

"Yeah you," Suguru bites back, staring at the terms he combined only to find no error.

"Yeah right," Satoru huffed, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned to inspect Suguru's notebook. "See you made that a negative, it's a positive" the boy tapped onto the page, "it's a positive minus a negative, there are brackets around the negative eight" and Suguru scrunched his face before tapping another part of the page

"It's a positive plus a negative and as far as I'm concerned four plus negative eight is negative four" he corrected.

"Nuh uh," Satoru huffed, "it's a positive minus a negative"

"No it's not," Suguru growled and suddenly you watched as the two began to bicker and you let out an exasperated sigh.

"Fine then I'll just put the question into a math checker and then we'll see that I'm right," Satoru snarkily harrumphed, grabbing his phone and unlocking it, needing to search up a generator as he didn't already have an app installed.

You waited as he clicked open his search engine, eager to figure out the answer more for your own greed then their competition but you were surprised.

Not surprised in the sense that the internet gave a different answer then both Satoru and Suguru, but because as Satoru clicked inside his browser app a sharp and airy moan left his phone speakers. Wait scratch that, you guess you were surprised because the internet gave you a different answer than you were expecting, an answer not really related to math at all.

You've never seen Satoru's hands move quicker, flying to click down the volume before shutting off his phone, the dark screen greeting you as it clattered to the table and a lingering silence filled the space before a cackle broke out from your right. "Was that porn!" Suguru laughed, looking at Satoru's flushed cheeks incredulously.

Porn... you never really thought about the fact that people actually watched it, but then again why wouldn't they.

"No!" Satoru tried to retort but the pink painting the apples of his face gave him away. "It was, I-just," and he began to stumble over his words, trying to come up with a logical excuse only to find no lie that made sense.

What else sounds like a high pitched breathy sigh of a moan?

"Just what," Suguru chuckled, finding humour in Satoru's embarrassment, "or is your ring tone someone having sex," the man said, a shit eating grin splaying across his lips.

"I-" and finally Satoru simply sighed, resting his flushing cheeks in his palms as he avoided eye contact with the two of you as Suguru merely cackled. 

"Can I see," you blurt out suddenly, prying eyes staring intently on the dark screen gracing the front of Satoru's shut off phone, the two boys beside you staring at you with widened eyes.

"Huh!" Satoru exclaimed, brows furrowing, staring at you as though you had grown a third head.

"I want to see," you reiterate, hands reaching forward for Satoru's phone, immensely curious, as your unsatiated brain grew in it's interest of the video that once played on his device.

"You heard her," Suguru merely chuckles, recovering from his initial shock as he scooched closer to your side, leaning over your shoulder to muse at the blushing boy, "show us," and carefully, with movements full of hesitation and flickering eyes that held the words,'are you sure?' Satoru clicked open his phone, he had never really been able to decline yours and Suguru's requests anyways.

"Perverts," the white haired boy merely mumbles under his breath, punching in his password without bothering to hide it, knowing full well the two of you already knew what numbers unlocked his phone.

"Says you," Suguru smirks, thighs pressed against yours as he sat at your side, Satoru coming to sit on your other side as you reach for his phone, holding the device in your hands as you watched an erotic image display in front of your elated gaze, anticipation filling you as the video began to play, two boys sandwiching you between them as they eyed the film in your hands.

As you watched the video play you began to understand why porn was a thriving industry.

You watched as her ass reverberated against toned thighs, her back to the camera as the man she rode lay on his own back, her hips jumping and falling with sensual claps as whiny and satisfied moans broke past her lips. Your eyes never left, barely blinking, scared to miss the scene, watching as she satisfied herself on her own accord, setting the pace as she rolled her body, the faint groans that you assumed came from her partner echoing out of Satoru's speakers as you clicked up the sound.

Despite the fact that you scrutinized the video so closely you failed to acknowledge the uncanny resemblance the woman had to your own figure, her same coloured hair eerily cut in a similar style to your own, her skin tone only a fraction of a shade darker than your own, her body shape so very similar, dipping and curving in ways your own hips do. If you actually bothered to notice you would've had to take a moment to question if the woman in the video was actually you, only to recall that you've never had sex, let alone filmed it and uploaded it to a website for others pleasure.

However what your ignorant eyes failed to notice Suguru's inquisitive ones caught almost immediately, a knowing dance sparkling behind his irises as he sent a coy grin towards Satoru who only blushed at the fact.

The hypnotic effect her jiggling ass had on you keeping you away from feeling the way Suguru leaned behind your head, the mesmerizing song she sung occupying your ears from hearing the deep whisper Suguru spread into Satoru's ears.

"Don't worry, I like watching her too." 

If you weren't so busy watching as the website auto-played yet another video by the actress you would've caught Satoru's face growing redder with parted lips as Suguru not only discovered his dirty little secret but also shared it.

You continued to stare at the new set of scenes that unfolded in front of you, watching as her face was still unseen as she presented her ass to the camera once more, her face burrowed in the sheets while she rested on her knees with her ass in the air.

Face down ass up, that's what it was called, right?

Her hands gently spread her ass cheeks, hips shaking as she displayed both her holes with such confidence it made you shudder before her fingers slithered towards her cunt, deft digits toying with her clit, rolling it and you couldn't help but think of the woman who had humped her pillow. So any type of friction against your clit was supposed to make you feel good, you concluded, watching as her hand traveled down the bud to run through her folds that glistened beneath her carefully set up lights, finger growing wet with her slick and then you gasped.

A sudden, shocked, slightly loud sound that had both boy's snapping their attention to you.

Had you finally noticed the woman in question looked like you, had you realized that you were watching porn and were suddenly disgusted. Satoru's brain was running rampant, did you think he was a weir- the question could barely finish being asked in his brain before you asked another.

"Doesn't that hurt," you murmur in disbelief, watching as one of her fingers pumped inside her dampening cunt, slipping inside before quickly adding another one, making you recoil as you felt your own pussy tingle as you squeezed your thighs.

"Hurt?" Suguru questioned, watching as the woman fucked herself with her hand "baby you know what happens during sex right," he furrows his brows, pushing you with a query to distract you from the name that spilled from his lips easily.

"I mean yeah," you murmur with warming cheeks, "but still..." the idea of putting your fingers inside your body like that made you shudder with fear, "it looks kinda scary."

"Wait," Satoru suddenly perks, eyes wide on you as he stared "does this mean you've never masturbated before," and it was your turn to flush, embarrassed, when had the attention shifted from teasing Satoru, to teasing you, as the white haired boy stared at you coyly. 

"I- well," you stammer, feeling yourself grow hot as their eyes trained on your warming form, "i-it's scary!" you huffed and you could hear Satoru laugh while Suguru let out a light chuckle. "What are you laughing at!" you yell, punching the porn watching boy who was supposed to be the one getting bullied. "Y-You just have to like, tug on it and it feels good b-but I," you stumble, "I have to put something inside a-and that alone doesn't feel good, you have to play with your clit and find like a g-spot or something," you begin to ramble, stating off lines you've heard Shoko say as she explained the concept of masturbating to you as you watched the chick flick together, curiosity taking you over after watching the woman roll her hips.

"Mhm," Suguru hums, "well I'm sorry that we just have to tug on it," he cackles at your choice of words as your face burns, "but I mean, if you ever need help overcoming your fear you can call us," he states so bluntly it had you squirming.

"What do you mean call you!" you scrunch your face, hitting his shoulder as well, as Satoru muses.

"He means call us and we'll teach you," the boy coos and you could only huff in aggravation as they clearly continued to tease you, relishing in the reactions you couldn't keep at bay.

For months the film haunted you, popping to the forefront of your brain sporadically throughout the day, whether it was at home, during class, or when you were sat studying with your friend's in your room again, your mind always seemed to wander back to the woman and the way she pushed her fingers inside her cunt.

After a while you went on the hunt to find her, opening websites on your phone and while you couldn't find the same one you went down a rabbit hole of watching many different attractive women masturbating for a camera. It was strange you thought, the idea of putting a finger inside yourself but as you lay awake at night, coddled up in your blankets you can't seem to let the image go.

Your room is quiet, your window locked, the blinds tightly closed as your door was sealed shut. Your duvet is warm against your body as you pull it up higher against your chest, tucking it beneath your chin as you squeeze your thighs together.

You should really be asleep but the thought keeps haunting you.

Did it really feel that good.

It felt strange, usually you pressed your thighs together until they were sore and you were tired to try and relieve the arousing itch, but this time you couldn't help yourself when you snaked an experimental finger beneath your pants and you gently begin to run your finger over your folds, brushing them against the fabric of your panties like you've seen done a multitude of times during your porn viewing experience.

Usually this was where she'd let out a breathy whine or moan but you found no sound ready to escape your lips. It felt funny but as your finger brushed a little higher on your cunt, where you knew your clit should be, it felt slightly different, a little tingly as you rubbed but other than that there was nothing.

You shouldn't be doing this but you couldn't help yourself.

Your hand carefully traveled into your underwear, the waistband resting on your wrist as you toyed with your folds, carefully pulling them apart, they were slightly damp but they didn't feel as sticky as you imagined when you saw the women's glistening holes, maybe you weren't wet enough

Carefully you snuck your hand from your cunt to your mouth, feeling yourself grow a little embarrassed with yourself as you suckled on your index finger, mimicking the way you saw one woman do, coating your finger in your saliva before experimentally trekking it back into your pants, spit brushing against your stomach before you rubbed it over your cunt, feeling it grow a tad bit more slippery as you brought a hand to your clit.

You brushed against it, fingers tracing up and down and moving it in circles, trying all varying techniques you've witnessed behind a screen as you tried to elicit a warm pleasure but all you felt was a small tingle every once and a while, the sparks began to grow but it never seemed to last, feeling nice before receding as your hand couldn't seem to keep a consistent enough pace against your dampening clit, sparks flying but no flame as your cunt grew wetter with every second only to find no satisfaction and only frustration.

Maybe if you inserted a finger it'd feel better?

So you attempted it, facing your fears as you quickly dipped your fingers between your folds, letting it delve only a quarter way inside when you began to feel uncomfortable, the feeling of your cunt, squishy and wet, making you feel less horny and more ready to stop.

You retrieved your hand, trying to rub over your clit instead but the more your tried the less pleasure you felt, you were growing warmer and instead of wanting to moan you wanted to cry in frustration.

Why wasn't it working.

Were the little tingles from your clit the orgasm you began to wonder, that was the only thing that felt remotely good but it couldn't be, right? In all the videos you consumed and all the movies you watched their orgasms were intense, their hips shook and they appeared to be feeling wonderful.

Why couldn't you achieve that feeling.

It was annoying, a small little nibbling burden calling out every so often in the back of your mind every day. It didn't weigh on you but it sure irritated you at times.

After that day you tried a couple more times, this time letting your finger reach as far as it could and you began to try and thrust it in and out but it didn't feel nice like you thought it would. You tried to rub your clit at the same time but your hands didn't cooperate as you couldn't both rub yourself and thrust so instead you decided to grope your chest and thrust instead but you didn't feel your lower belly warm like it was supposed to.

You began to grow more and more irritated.

Your nightly endeavours never resulted in the way you wanted, you even tried to put two fingers in for a couple of seconds only for your pussy to start burning and you quickly reverted back to one.

It was absolutely humiliating, you couldn't even please yourself.

Soon enough you were graduating high school and despite furthering your education you couldn't seem to further your own sexual experiences.

You were now in university, renting a three bedroom apartment with your two best friends, that much to Satoru's chagrin, wasn't the penthouse.

"I'll just pay for it."

"We all have to pay equal rent Toru."

You lay in your bed conflicted for yet another night, you were in university, the time of your life when people went to parties, found partners, had flings, had one night stands, had sex, and yet here you were still struggling to masturbate properly, at this point maybe you should just buy a vibrator, but where would you buy it, if you got it online where were you supposed to order it to, it's not like you could ship it to the apartment, not with the chance that Satoru and Suguru could spot it first.

Your internal dilemmas continued to rage on as your cunt was left wet and unsatisfied for yet another night and the creeping voice whispered in your ear again, they had told you if you asked they would help you please yourself, but then again they were also teasing you at the time.

Tossing a pillow over your face you huffed, what were you supposed to do.

You wanted to just ignore it but your wet cunt ,that leaked over your panties and began to seep into the fabric of your sleep shorts, had you writhing.

You've already made out with them before, this wouldn't be that much different, right? It's just like kissing but with a different set of lips...

Fucking hell, you were doomed.

Hesitation weighed on your achy bones as you pushed yourself to sit, your damp underwear making you squirm in discomfort as you quickly rose to stand. This wouldn't be weird right, asking your friends to fuck your dripping cunt wouldn't ruin your friendship, right?

The questions you asked flooded your brain as your feet padded towards your door, unhinged, unanswered queries swarming you. Any sane person would tell you that, yes, your friends would call you a lunatic and ask you to move out of your shared apartment, but a part of you still believed it would be fine, and it seemed as though it was that very small, insane fraction of your brain that guided your trembling hand to push open your bedroom door.

After all no sane person knew your friends as well as you did. Maybe, just maybe they'd be crazy enough to take you up on your offer, they had offered before. Even if it might've been a joke the slight possibility that it wasn't had your weeping pussy excited.

You shuffled out of your dim bedroom into the main area of your home, taking the couple of steps it took to get from your door to the living room, spotting the two boys leisurely resting on the couch, limbs thrown whichever way was most comfortable as Satoru's eyes were glued to the television, determined to binge old Digimon episodes while Suguru, who couldn't care less, stared at his phone, thumb gliding over the screen as he scrolled.

Your entrance didn't really seem to warrant too much of their attention as Satoru barely flickered his gaze to you before returning to his show, Suguru no different. You weren't quite sure whether this was supposed to be a good thing or bad thing, their attention spared anywhere but towards you, making your stomach do flips as you felt anxiety crawl up your throat, telling you that you were a psychopath for even thinking you could do this.

But despite your brain telling you no, your body told you yes, legs shuffling closer to the plush couch as the dripping mess between your thighs overran all reason. You felt it, that strong urge pushed you, as instead of taking a space on an empty part of the cushion you crawled over into Suguru's lap, straddling his legs as you pushed your weight into your knees, your brazenness not encompassing your fear that he would be able to feel your gushing cunt through your shorts.

Suguru merely hummed as you clambered over him, clicking his phone off before dropping it onto the couch as he brought his hands to your waist, planting his touch to the curve of your hips as he leaned his head back onto the couch, hair dancing in dark waves as he stared up at you, purple eyes glinting with welcome as a smile tickled his lips.

"What's up," he spoke softly, fingers squishing the fat of your curves, touching you tenderly, but you could only shake your head at his salutation, crumpling into his hold to force your flushed cheeks into the crook of his shoulder, maintaining your position of hovering over his thighs as you curled your back into him. "Is my girl feeling needy," he presumed, pressing a kiss to your scalp and you could feel yourself shudder, if only he knew how needy you actually were, the chaste kiss he lingered in your hair doing nothing but fueling your walls, the affection he shared, assuming it would satisfy you, only leaving you wanting more.

"Mhm," you whined into his skin, you weren't telling a lie and part of you hoped that your very, very, miniscule hint, would make him understand what you wanted, leaden tongue no longer bold enough to spew the words you were so ready to ask moments ago, or at least were even considering to ask moments ago.

"Do you want a kiss," he asked tenderly, pulling you from his neck, forcing you to stare into his pretty purple eyes, trying to give you the affection that you normally pushed into him like this for.

You could only nod, melting into his lips that caressed yours so lightly, attempting to satiate yourself on this alone, striving to force your cunt from fluttering as you desperately wanted to just have your full of his mouth and be done with it, make it so a little kiss could soothe your unsatisfied core but so far he only made it worse, gentle touches burning against your skin and you couldn't help but writhe in his hold as he did his best to comfort you, giving you what he thought you wanted, tongue gliding against your mouth as the ventured through already chartered waters.

"Is something wrong," he cooed as his lips left yours, hand coming to scratch your scalp as despite your best efforts he still seemed to catch onto your greed that you poorly hid. 

"No," you could only murmur, closing your eyes, trying to lean in for yet another peck, wanting to forget your lust, wanting to force him to drop the subject but his hand intercepted your mouth, pressing against your lips as he kept you from him, kept you from spewing deceit and moving on.

"Don't lie to me baby," he sighed watching as your brows furrowed, recognizing the frustration that painted your features and you could only huff at his perceptiveness, "it's obvious something is bothering you."

Yeah my cunt, you wanted to say but you bit your tongue, not wanting to escalate the situation so sporadically despite how much you began to yearn for more of him.

With a sigh you burrowed yourself back into his neck, trying to compose yourself as he pat your head, letting you take your time. At this point you knew you couldn't lie, that the more you tried to avoid it the more he'd pry and you had to acknowledge the fact that this was the reason you came here in the first place, that you were the one who put yourself into this position. You were already here you just had to complete your goal, even if that goal might end in humiliation with you shuffling back embarrassed, unsatisfied and soon to be evicted.

"Y-You know how you always say," you start, squeezing your eyes shut as you kept yourself against his body, "if I ever need help you'd always be there," and at this you could feel him tense, fingers stilling from where they slid against your body and you could feel worry claw at your throat as the couch dipped, Satoru shifting closer as he caught onto the conversation you shared with Suguru, his hand against your warming cheek as he brushed the hair from your face, trying to catch your gaze but you refused to meet it.

"Did something happen," Suguru questions, trying to force his hands to rub soothing circles once more, attempting, but failing from keeping the concern seep into his tone.

"What's wrong," Satoru added, his hand patting your back, warmth seeping into your skin as he squished against Suguru. You could feel him against your bare leg that still straddled the dark haired boy's lap.

"W-Well," you breath, trying to keep the tears that suddenly sprung to your eyes at bay, a fear stinging your limbs as you did your best to swallow the lump in your throat, "I mean," you gasp out, "never mind it's nothing," you try, shaking you head.

You couldn't do this.

Your limbs tried to grapple free from his grasp, pushing out of arms to run away, wanting nothing more than to just forget this ever happened, to wake up and realize this was all some horrific nightmare as you endeavoured to wriggle free only to feel his hands tighten, the pain blossoming in your skin from their grip telling you that this wasn't a dream as Satoru quickly latched you close, capturing you as you frantically looked about, trying to find an escape route. "Let me go," you mumble, wet eyes trying not to be seen as they held you close, suddenly frightened with your change in demeanor, uncertainty permeating their features.

"What's wrong," Suguru tried again, his hands not letting you squirm away as you stared at your room, wishing you were trapped in its confines. You'd much rather be sticky and wet all on your lonesome than admit it at this point.

"N-Nothing," you murmur, doing your best to keep yourself steady, finally feeling yourself give up, their hold on you much to tight to let you escape and you found yourself back in the crook of Suguru's neck.

Maybe you should just close your eyes and pass out, they couldn't question you if you were asleep, or maybe blame it on somehow being intoxicated.

You could hear Suguru sigh, feel it as his shoulder's decompressed, "you can't just walk in here ask that, and then try to run away," he states, hands rubbing your back and you couldn't help but purse your lips.

"Is something, someone, scaring you," Satoru carefully pried, "you can tell us anything," and you could feel the tears try and fall, droplets pricking your eyes as you grew more embarrassed, how were you supposed to tell them now.

Suguru could feel his shoulder grow damp and he could only purse his lips, scared, he sent a wary glance to Satoru, blue eyes also full of turmoil as they stared at your form that slowly began to tremble, slight sob spilling from your lips as you murmured, "it's s-silly," you shake your head, trying your best to hide from their eyes.

"It doesn't matter," Suguru cooed, "if something's bothering you let us fix it," he attempted to soothe, wholly unaware with the double meaning his words left, the feeling of you cunt beginning to clench around nothing making you cringe.

"You," you take a calming breath, "you can't judge me," you fist Suguru's shirt, trying to keep your voice from wavering.

"Just tell us," Satoru hums, hands trying to loosen your white knuckled fist, brushing his warm touch over it.

"You promise you can't get mad o-or or," you begin to stammer, "hate me," you whisper quietly, body tensing as your muscles pinched with anxiety, awaiting their response.

"Baby we could never hate you," Suguru rumbled, patting your head as he felt you shake in his hold.

"Y-You have to promise," you choke out once more, voice full of fear and Suguru could feel himself grow antsy, panic broiling.

"I promise," he attempts to soothe carefully once more, slight distress seeping in.

"I promise too," Satoru hums gently, fingers running over your knuckles as he pried your hand from Suguru's shirt, feeling you tightly grip his hand instead

"Y-You know," you begin to start, "that time you told m-me" and you could feel yourself warm impossibly hotter, "th-that if I ever needed help o-overcoming my f-fear," you stutter out,  t-that I can call you," you finish squeezing your eyes shut, hoping they'd remember their words instead of prod further at what your fear was, but much to your dismay it had seemed as though they had forgotten.

"Fear..?" Suguru trails off, furrowed brows turning to Satoru, silently asking if the other man knew what you were talking about only to receive a shake of the head, "baby what are you scared of" he tried, confused.

"I-" you freeze, not quite sure how to word it, "you don't remember," you say instead and you can hear the pause as the gears turned in their minds, wracking their brains for what you were referencing.

"No, I'm sorry," Satoru finally says, "but whatever it is our offer still stands," he continues, "we can help you, just remind us," he presses a kiss to your knuckles, "please," and you are biting your lip tightly, conflicted.

You've already dug your grave this deep, why not hammer the last nail into your coffin at this point.

"M-masturbating," you whisper so quietly that if they didn't have all their focus on you they would've missed it, but despite this Satoru still asks you again.

"What was that," he gapes, hand suddenly stilling from where it ran over your knuckles and you could feel your blood begin to run cold, shocked, unsure of if he had actually heard you right or was just freaked out by your confession.

"M-Masturbating" you say a little louder and the room fell quiet before a single 'pfft' echoed out, "y-you promised you wouldn't judge me," you huff, pulling from Suguru's neck as you stared teary eyed at Satoru, his chest convulsing as he laughed and soon enough you could feel Suguru's broad chest rumble as well as he chuckled.

"M'not laughing at you baby, you just had us so worried," Satoru wiped a tear from his eye "thought it was something serious."

"This is serious!" you exclaim, brows furrowed and you could feel even more tears fall, dripping down your chin, they didn't care, they weren't going to kick you out but tease you, make fun of you, they were going to belittle your feelin- and Satoru gently cupped your face, wiping away a stray droplet that ran down your cheek.

"I know, I just thought something really bad happened," he cooed instead, thumb running over the salty stains painting your face.

"We're just relieved it's something we can fix easily," Suguru sighed, tensed muscles relaxing as his fingers squeezed at your hips before his eyes forced your to look at him, gentle smile splayed across his lips, "my poor baby needs help learning how to masturbate," he cooed, hand toying with the stray ends of your hair and you nod, ashamed.

"You want us to teach you," Satoru whispered into the shell of your ear, pressing a kiss to your cheek before you shook your head, your fear quickly dissipating, leaving only lust in it's wake as you realized that nothing you thought would happened did, now only the things you wished would happen would occur.

You could feel the blood rush back up to your cheeks, painting your face and ears as you sighed, your wet cunt now throbbing for attention as their searing gaze poked at you "No" you murmured and you could feel your courage grow as you shifted yourself to only straddle one of Suguru's toned thighs before you pushed your weight off your knees and onto him, staring up at them through your darkened lashes and you couldn't help but think of that woman and her pillow as you rolled your hips, letting him feel you, letting him feel just how much you leaked through your shorts, as the damp fabric smeared against his leg, "just do it for me."

"Fuck baby," Suguru groaned unabashedly as you slowly tried to mimic all the videos you watched, rolling your body as for the first time you attempted to ride his thigh. "My girl is so wet," he sighed and you could feel hands find your hips and suddenly, that tingly feeling that you never seemed to keep, grew as Satoru angled you just right as Suguru tensed his thigh, taut muscles pleasing you perfectly as Satoru forced your clit to catch on every ridge and for once, a gasp, you've only ever heard other women spew through a screen, left your lips with ease, the sound you've been trying to bubble from yourself with your fingers, the sound at points you just tried to force out, the sound that never seemed to form naturally left your mouth as you sighed out in relief.

You had made a good decision.

"I can feel you through your pants pretty girl," Suguru praised, leg slightly bouncing causing that tiny little gasp to unwillingly fall past your lips again. It was so easy for them, so easy for them to make you feel so good as that fuzzy feeling that sparsely struck you as you rubbed your clit during the dead of night began to persist, but just like during your futile efforts, the mere touch wasn't enough, the short buzz of pleasure that shocked your clit wasn't enough.

"M-More," you mewl, leaning you chest into Suguru's as you pleaded, eyes wide as you begged, "need more, please," you whined and you could hear Satoru chuckle at your shameless display.

"Baby we're going to give you all you could ever want, gonna give you everything you deserve," he whispered into the shell of your ear, "you don't ever have to beg," he starts, "but that doesn't mean you shouldn't," a sharp pain blossomed against your ass and you yelped at the feeling.

He had spanked you, he had spanked you and it made you clench around air, bleary eyes turning to face him as he smirked so delectably, "my girl is so good for me, looking so pretty when she begs for things she's going to get no matter what," he hummed, "she's so polite," he cooed, halting your shifting hips to push you down forcefully onto Suguru's thigh, forcing your hips to grind tight little circles as his bruising hold controlled your movements and you couldn't keep back the little whine. 

"Aren't you a good girl, huh baby," Suguru murmured against your neck and you clenched your fists at the feeling of his lips mapping out new territory, the little peck he pressed beneath the junction of your jaw making you writhe as he explored your body, pressing chaste kisses as you threw your head back, relishing in the way he suckled at your skin.

"F-Fuck," you gasp, hesitant hands carefully tugging at the ends of his hair and the deep groan he let out only urged you further as you tangled your fingers into his luscious locks. You stared down at where he planted his face against your skin and you couldn't help the way your pussy gushed, "y-you look so pretty," you gasp, his tongue instantly soothing the skin he bit, running over it like a healing balm as he smirked up at you.

"Pretty," he hummed and you could feel the sensation travel up your neck, "I think you're prettier," he tuts before kissing again, leaving a little trail in his wake and you pinched your eyes shut at the compliment, the way your tummy flipped leaving you ashamed but left him prideful.

It felt odd to have hands loiter across your skin, lips roaming as you felt your cunt dampen. "What do you want us to do with you baby," Satoru murmured, forcing your hips to move in lewd directions and you couldn't help the way you threw your head back, leaning against his chest to stare at his all consuming blue eyes.

"W-Wanna feel good," you whimper, hands sliding to cup over where his rested on your hips.

"I know love," he chuckled as though it was obvious, "but how," he blew cold air against your ear, making you quiver against his chest, "want me to eat you out, have my tongue lick up all your juices while you leak for me, want to writhe against my mouth or,"he gasps enthusiastically, "do you want me to shove my long fingers into your pretty little pussy, do you wanna clench around me while I thrust into you huh," he breaths, filling your brain with dirty little fantasies, "want me to play with your cunt, want me to make you scream and cry on my fingers as I toy with your perfect folds," he cooed.

"Gonna fuck my fingers into you like you wanted to, gonna play with your clit like you tried to," he murmured, "gonna make up for all those frustrating nights baby," he hums and he humps you faster over Suguru's leg, "you want us to masturbate your little cunt for you, want us to put our fingers inside and make you feel good huh, want us to fuck your needy little pussy the way my pathetic girl's fingers couldn't," he continues and you can feel your walls clench, the idea of them ramming their fingers inside your cunt the way you spent countless nights trying to making your mouth water, "want us to put our fingers inside and find your g-spot, want us to fuck you and make you think it's our dicks," he says and you can feel yourself grow warm at the insinuation, "wanna pretend hmm," he coos and you shake your head.

"Wanna have you," you gasp and he tsks, gripping your chin to force you to look into his piercing blue eyes.

"You're gonna have to imagine it baby, gonna have to imagine until we train your pretty pussy enough, gotta stretch her out first before you can take us inside," he murmurs, "gonna fuck you over and over again until you are ready," and the thought of them taking you as much as they wanted had you seeing stars.

"Please," you whined, "Please, please, please," you started begging again, "want you, want you two so bad," you babbled.

"What do you want us to do," Satoru teased, stating it as though he hadn't already spewed all the filthy things he made you want into your ear.

"Want you t-to fuck m-me with your fingers," you gasp, "want you t-to make me feel good, wanna cum for you," and you barely even acknowledged the way Satoru stilled your hips, too caught up in your daydream to care as you continued, "wanna cum for you, please, want you to make me feel good."

"Awh," Suguru coos from beneath you, "isn't our baby so good at asking," he praises and you whimper, "let us take you to the bed okay," he murmurs and you don't even notice you are nodding.

"Yes please," you whine and quickly Suguru is standing up, hands resting beneath your ass as you folded your arms around his neck, cunt pressing against his torso as you clung to him, chest to chest. 

You could feel your heart thrum, anticipation growing as they guided you towards Satoru's room, gently laying you atop his plush mattress of the large bed he owned, perks of having the biggest room granted by paying the largest portion of rent, opting to pay 40% instead of the 30% you and Suguru covered individually.

Satoru couldn't keep the blood from rushing to his cock as he watched your breathtaking form splayed over his silk sheets. Your hair was dancing in whichever direction it pleased, your arms reaching out for them as you stared up at him and Suguru with such desire filled eyes it had him leaking pre-cum. Your body was painted beautifully, blue pajama shorts stained with a small dot slightly darker at the crotch, your top riding up your torso as your neck was decorated in tiny love bites left by Suguru.

Part of him couldn't believe that this was reality and not some hyper realistic fantasy as he watched you tug Suguru closer, arms still snaked around his neck as you pulled his lips to yours, bleary eyes shutting to focus on the feeling of your intermingling lips.

You stare at the two boys as they towered over you and you could feel an embarrassed flush grace your cheeks as you noticed the dark patch coating Suguru's thigh.

"Let's take these clothes off, yeah pretty girl," Suguru coos gently as he pulled a way, tugging at the hem of your pants and you could feel your breath catch in your throat as you gnawed on your lip, releasing it before you grinned slyly.

"Help me," you demanded, feeling the embarrassment that steeped through you finally wash away as you realized you had no need to be so nervous, after all you already have some dirty little secrets with them, what's a couple more, even if they were a lot more sexual, it's not like you'd let anyone else take your body in the way you permitted them. You lifted your hips off the bed, raising them dangerously close to his lowered head and the tantalizing smirk that crossed his lips made your heart beat just for him.

Swiftly you could feel cool air brush across your wet folds as he swiftly yanked down your shorts, pulling them past your ankles, that Satoru gingerly lifted one at a time, before tossing them somewhere out of view. You shuddered at the cold sticky feeling of your exposed panties, but despite your urge to pull your knees together to block their view, the hungry gaze in their eyes made you think otherwise.

"Wow," Satoru whistled, grabbing your leg as he pulled you closer to the edge of the bed and you yelped slightly at the force before he dropped to his knees, admiring the little gift between your thighs, "aren't you absolutely dripping," he mused, lithe fingers coming to tap the wet cotton, running through your prominent folds that your slick stuck tightly to the fabric.

"Our baby's so wet," Suguru commented, and you shuddered as Satoru ran his fingers over your folds, circling sweetly over your bud, finding it without even needing to see it, a very quiet and airy moan leaving your lips that had both boys sucking at their teeth, enamored. You quietly squirmed, hips shifting and Suguru couldn't keep his smile from growing, "are your panties uncomfortable," he cooed, lovestruck as he admired your little pout, his fingers toying with the waistband, running over the small little bow at the very front, "bet they are with how much you're leaking through them," and his hand slapped down, the wet clap as he smacked your pussy, a sharp sting that brought more pleasure than pain making your knees jerk, a slight whine leaving your lips, "can't believe you tried to run away and keep this from us," he murmured, massaging the entirety of your cunt with his palm, heel of it digging lightly into your clit before Satoru forced his hand away, eagerly pulling off the damp fabric and you were surprised when you heard them both groan and gasp in surprise.

"Filthy girl," Satoru mumbled, eyes shining with delight as he stared at the clear slick string that connected your dripping cunt to your underwear, the strand growing longer the further he rolled your panties down until finally it collapsed, falling onto the sheets beneath you.

You watched as mindlessly both boys dive for your arousal, Suguru leaning forward to lick up what dripped onto the sheets while Satoru lapped up what stained your underwear. Fuck, honestly part of you believed they'd merely finger you until you were satisfied but seeing their hooded eyes rake over your form with clear interest was much better, especially when they not only focused on you but each other.

Suguru leant down to the kneeling boy in front of him, tongue delving into Satoru's mouth, both boy's groaning at your lingering taste heavy on their tongues before they parted, panting before turning back to you with so much desire it had you squirming. "Look at our princess dripping onto the sheets," Suguru murmured, staring at your spread legs as he licked his lips.

"Makin such a mess," Satoru purred as Suguru sat on the mattress next to you, making Satoru do the same, crawling up to sit by your head as Suguru rested closer to your pelvis.

"Cryin so much down there," Suguru hums, mesmerized by your glistening folds, watching as your velvety walls throbbed, sobbing out for attention and he delivered, thumb running, parting your weeping lips, two fingers spreading you open and he stared inside your pretty, pillowy, cunt, watching as her slick caught light, shining as she soaked his fingers.

You couldn't hold back your helpless gasp as he gazed inside you, clearly enjoying the sight from the twinkle dancing behind his purple eyes. "Let me take this off too," Satoru requests, calling your attention back to him as he splayed his hand over your exposed stomach, your shirt riding up as his fingers barely grazed beneath the fabric, wanting more.

"B-but," you murmur, suddenly feeling a flush of shame overtake you and Satoru halts his greedy hands, reminding himself that he was here to pleasure your core not your chest despite his urges. He tried to collect himself and wanted to pull away, to run his hands lower but your tiny voice stopped him, "I-I'm not wearing a matching set," you mumble bashfully, saying it as though that was more embarrassing then having your naked bottom exposed to both of them, as though the very words were a sin itself, but the idea of you wearing mismatched undergarments sent a rush of blood to his already hardened dick, causing it to jump in place. The uncoordinated set meaning that you hadn't planned for this to happen, hadn't prepared or waited for the right day, hadn't approached them with pre-practiced lines, no, you had crawled to them with desperation, a need filling your tummy that you could no longer ignore as your helpless little fingers did little to please your body. The thought of you going to them as a last ditch effort after you failed yet again made him writhe, the filthy idea filling his brain as he reached for the small of your back, leaning you onto his knee before he pried the fabric from your chest with haste.

He watched as your boobs bounced out of the shirt before you landed on your back once more, jiggling in place. His mouth watered as he could see your tits spill from the cups of your bra, the garment clearly a size too small for your overflowing breasts but he could hear your voice in his ears, complaining about how bras were too damn expensive.

His fingers traced the rim, grazing your chest lightly as he hummed, does this mean your boobs are always suffocating, he wonders, isn't that uncomfortable, with a lick of his lips he released your tits, undoing the clasp of your bra to let them splay freely, tossing the clothing far off into his room as he stared at the light indents left on your shoulders from the straps, he'd have to take you to purchase new ones, he noted as you rested onto your back as he rolled one of your nipples between his fingers, the subtle moan you let out music to his ears as he watched you squirm, Suguru's gentle caresses to you core doing little to stimulate but a lot to tease, the dark haired man clearly reveling in you expressions.

"Satoru," it was gentle, a call of his names as he locked gazes with the man he observed, "open," he murmured, and soon enough his mouth was open and two thick fingers were placed onto his awaiting tongue, "get 'em nice and wet for our girl, yeah," he encouraged and Satoru found himself groaning, choking with the way Suguru fucked his hand into his mouth, forcing him to suckle onto his digits.

You watched in awe, the thin slips of saliva spilling from the corner of his mouth beginning to fall as Suguru placed a knee between your spread legs to lean close to Satoru, watching the way the boy sucked so obediently.

You couldn't help but wonder how he'd look bobbing on Suguru's dick, would he hollow out his cheeks, would tears sting his eyes, the images of videos you watched flashing in your brain as you replaced their faces with ones of his, the thought of Satoru in such a state sending a pang straight to your cunt.

Fuck.

Sure you had thought of them like that before, who wouldn't, your two best friends were undoubtedly hot but you never really focused on the idea that it could be real, that there would be a timeline where they'd not only caress each other but you too, but reality was smacking you in the face right now as you watched one of your best friends lewdly throat fuck the other with his fingers/

The delightful, 'pop,' as Satoru released the digits in his mouth had you gasping as you felt those very same digits caress you, smearing warm saliva over your dripping pussy, rolling around your clit, spreading your lips. "You ready," he cooed gingerly, fingers rubbing your folds, carefully preparing themselves and you swallowed, a strange fear taking over at the thought, but you nodded.

It was hesitant, barely dipping in and you felt one of Suguru's thick fingers slip inside, spreading you open, wider than one of your own fingers did, it had you panting for air. "Shh my love," Satoru was ready to comfort, hand cupping your face as the other gingerly groped your tits, trying to distract the slow burning that wiggled in your cunt as he carefully delved inside, barely even getting to the joint of his finger before you're hiccupping. 

"H-Hurts," you are gasping, "it hurts," and Satoru is pressing kisses to your skin, tracing his tongue on your neck as he pinched at your nipples, "Suguru," you sobbed and Satoru did his best to keep your focus on him as you cried.

"I know love," the dark haired man hummed, "just let me stay here like this for a moment, promise it'll feel good," and he pressed a chaste kiss to your lower belly, his tiny little groan as you clenched around his finger causing you to squeeze your eyes shut, trying to pinpoint your attention on Satoru's suckling lips, his tongue circling your nipple before he took the whole thing in his mouth, spreading his hot spit.

Suddenly you could feel his finger slip in further and further until he was knuckle deep, his keen eyes watching every one of your expressions as you writhed, trying to accommodate him, "atta girl, spreading so nicely for me," he whispers into your whimpering lips, pressing a gentle kiss as your tears returned, "just keep breathing for me kay," and he starts thrusting, slow languid push and pull as you sobbed, clutching tightly onto Satoru, it felt a lot different from when you did it, a lot more vulnerable as he drank in your naked form, gently caressing your insides with tender touches, quiet praises spilling into your ears as he asked you to trust him, feeling as soon enough the burning subsided and all that was left was the feeling of him plunging into your slippery cunt as his other hand toyed with your clit, making you even wetter.

"So good," Satoru murmured with a mouthful of boob, suckling as he painted the dips between your chest with purple splotches and bite marks, "doing so good for Suguru," he flattered, listening to your hitching breaths as your chest rose and fell beneath his mouth until suddenly you let out a sharp moan, an erotic ah, that even seemed to take you by surprised falling past your kiss bitten lips and Suguru is quick to soothe.

"There it is," he coos, fingers finding a sloth like pace to help you adjust, ramming against his newfound discovery, your g-spot.

"S-Sugu," you whine, hips rising as you tried to pry yourself from his hold, "i-it feels," you gasp and you felt as though you were seeing stars as he shoved inside of you, pressing against a particular spot that had you moaning, whimpering little songs that you never made spill from your own mouth before.

"I know baby, feels good right," and your eyes are dewy as he slips inside easily, your cunt flooding.

"m-mhm," you mumble, "b-but," you fist the fabric of Satoru's top that you wished he'd just take off already, "s'too much, too much," and Suguru hums in understanding but not letting up.

"Just bear with it pretty girl, gonna feel good, gonna feel so good," and you could feel that tingling sensation expand , your lower belly beginning to grow fuzzy as your brain muddled.

Satoru could watch this all day, your moans that began to increase in volume every passing second, rumbling against his face as he lay smushed between your breasts, Suguru hushing out praises, his dark hair falling from its bun as he set a tame pace, careful not to put you into too much pain as he pushed you towards your undeniable climax, "gonna add one more," and the face you make had the boy reaching a greedy hand to his pants, stroking his hardened dick to try and appease the tent growing in his boxers before focusing every ounce of concentration he had onto you.

Your lips fall into a perfect little 'o' as you stretched unbelievably wider, if you thought having two digits inside your cunt hurt when you attempted it inside your bed, it burned when Suguru pushed another in, filling you to your limit as you sobbed, tears cascading down your cheeks as the continuous appreciative comments did little to calm you, your hips rolling as his dexterous hands played with your sloppy pussy better than you ever had.

"Sug-ngh," you mewl, "c-can't y-you're gonna break me-oh fuck," and your back is arching, finally understanding why all those women had shifted so much as they got pushed to the brink, your fingers tight in Satoru's hair before he gingerly takes one in his hand, carefully interlocking your fingers as he squeezed, attempting to pacify you just a little.

"You can take it," the man murmured pushing both digits deep inside you could feel him in your guts, "your pussy is beggin for more," he kissed your clit, tongue lapping at the bud and you were screaming, your vision grew cloudy as that burning turned to red hot satisfaction, your thighs beginning to tremble as he rammed into you, his pace picking up from snail slow to a little more medium but that speed was still foreign to you, your hands never even daring to go the same rate he did but you could see now this is why your could never pleasure yourself.

An electric pulse thrummed beneath your sweating skin and you felt as though you were no longer tethered to your body, erotic ah, ah, ah's,  leaving your lips as you could hear the dirty, squelch, of your cunt as your limbs slowly melted into shivering messes, "there you go" Satoru is comforting, tweaking your hickey marred tits with practiced precision, it had your tongue lolling out.

You could feel yourself gushing, writhing and clenching all at once as Suguru fucked into you, tender hands exploring your body as he also did a little rearranging in your warm contracting tummy. You could feel lights flicker on, arousal flipping the switch and you tried to shut your legs to force him to slow but much to your dismay you provided no hindrance in his pace, not even a hiccup in his thrusts as he leaned over you, your thighs shaking as the lewd, "pap pap pap," of his plunging hand meeting jiggling skin echoed out into the stifling room.

"C-Cum-" you start to gasp, "m-m gonna," you stammer, "c-cumming," you hiccup trembling hips bucking as you felt that knot constrict in your belly, your nerves jittering in delight as the overwhelming pleasure consumed you in raw ecstasy.

"Let go for us baby," Suguru encouraged, eyes stuck on yours as he watched the little lewd faces you made, Satoru thoroughly enjoying the show as well, your shaking tits bouncing with every thrust.

And suddenly you felt a snap and all of a sudden you were spilling, blood rushing through your ears as he delivered the final push that had you tumbling down the edge, into their awaiting arms, your quivering limbs spasming as you moaned shamelessly, "ngh, I- oh", heat bursted to every last corner of your sweat soaked body as shockwaves rippled out from your gushing cunt.

Hot mouths seared any skin they could reach, fingers slowing as he helped your rolling hips ride out your orgasm, crashing waves filtering your pleasure as they cooed, "that's it love, there you go," Suguru praised, thumb swiping against your absolutely sobbing clit as it spilled out every drop you had.

"doing so good," Satoru murmured, cupping your face as your clouded vision lost focus, mind wandering into pure bliss as you fell into your pleasure, swimming in the growing ecstasy as you mewled, hips stuttering as your high began to lower but their actions never ceased, showering you with comforting kisses and tender words, every last bit of love they gave you spilling from your cunt as she dribbled over the sheets, your stuttering hips rolling for the final time against Suguru's warm palm as you came back to the ground, your out of body experience finally reeling you back in as sweaty and warm you let out your final sultry high pitched moan, breathing coming in gasps as your arching back finally flattened and all the was left was their soothing hands.

"Did so well pretty thing," Suguru murmured as he carefully pulled out his fingers one at a time, watching as you writhed and whined at the feeling of slowly being unstuffed, and as he left your empty tears welled, "did you feel good," he hummed against your tear stained cheeks as Satoru pulled you into his arms, wrapping you in a comforting embrace as you sniffled before staring at his slick soaked arm, your essence spilling from his fingers down to his elbow and he grinned, suckling at his digits with a groan, "my baby tastes so good," he whispers into your hair as Satoru positioned you further up the bed, resting your lust filled brain against his pillows, before carefully coddling your in his arms, spooning you as his arms wrapped around your waist, holding you post-orgasmic form in his hold.

Soon enough a hand is tapping his cheek and the boy is turning his head, tongue lolling out as Suguru wipes your nectar off into the boy's awaiting mouth, saliva taking it's place as he cleans his forearm, the little content hums spilling from Satoru's lips, vibrating against your head as he lapped up the rest of your lingering juices. 

You don't remember much after that, fuzzy brain barely picking up on bleary images as you could faintly recall laying on a plush mattress, listening to faint whimpers and groans along with choked out whines as you watch heads bob upon hardened cocks as fingers stroked stiff lengths. You could remember tasting something salty as lips met yours before you were being placed in warm waters with lavender smelling soaps. You remember whining as they try to pull you into a bra and feeling cold water slipping down your throat before your tired eyes shut, wrapped in comforting arms.

You woke up sore, eyes sore, hands sore, neck sore, tits sore, thighs sore and you cunt was definitely sore, everything ached in a strangely delightful way as the heavy duvet draped over your frame paired with even heavier arms.

You could hear the sounds of their conversation, chests rumbling with words and as you burrowed closer to one body the sounds stilled, "are you awake baby," it was Suguru, his hand coming up to brush the hair that stuck to your cheek and you only mumbled incoherently, absorbing all the warmth they offered you as Satoru chuckled from behind you.

"Did you feel good," he teased, hands pinching at your hips.

"mhm," you hummed before peeking open your eyes, room dim as the closed curtains blocked out any light and suddenly you realize instead of Satoru's room you are in Suguru's, "it hurts," you murmured into the fabric covering Suguru's broad chest and his hand is reaching down to cup your ass, patting it and you quickly find out that you are dressed in only panties and a large t-shirt that definitely did not belong to you.

"A lot," Satoru questions into the shell of your ear, hands snaking up to grope at your boobs and you soon also figure out that you weren't wearing a bra beneath the baggy top.

"No," you mumble, "just achy," you sigh.

"So how was your first orgasm, hmm," the white haired boy continued, lips peppering a light kiss to your neck and you hissed at the feeling of him pressing down on what you assumed to be a bruise or hickey of some kind. 

"Nice," you yawn, "you should do that for me all the time," you grin jokingly before he bites down a little harder on your neck and their hands squeeze you a little tighter.

"Sure," Suguru is humming, "as long as you don't go to anyone else," and it sends a strange fluttering in your belly at the thought that they'd be willing to help you out.

"Well I told ya I'd fuck you like this until you could take my dick," and at Satoru's words you could feel your face warming.

"Until then I'll just use my hand for you then I guess," you sigh, feeling the boy jolt behind you before he laughed.

"Oh really I look forward to it then." 

It's only a couple weeks after when Satoru finally got to experience the moments he waited for.

"If I lick it will it feel good," you ask, staring up at the blue eyed boy between your lashes, hand running up and down his shaft as a gentle palm assisted you in your first ever handjob.

"There you go baby, just like that," and Suguru's sultry voice is against your ear, his body pinning you between the couch where spread legs lie, hard dick standing tall in front of you as he guided your hand up and down the stiffened cock.

"Fuck," Satoru hissed as Suguru squeezed your joined fists tight, your hand was covered by Suguru as he showed you how to make the white haired boy feel good before gasping out, "yes pretty girl," his chiseled chest heaving, "if you lick- ngh it I'll feel goo- oh fuck," and your tongue is already out, kitten licking the droplets of pre-cum that beaded at the tip.

"Good girl," the dark haired man praised, "making our Satoru feel so nice," and you continued with your mouth, tasting the salty liquid as you hand slid up and down his length before Suguru is letting go, leaving you to take care of the boy on your own. "If you suck on his tip he'll moan really pretty for you," the boy added before your intrusive eyes are on him.

"How would you know," you question and you are quick to realize, "you've done this before haven't you," you gasp and he grins. 

"I really thought you've heard us before," and he's smacking your ass making you yelp, so that's what all those groans were, you finally concluded as you leaned forward on Satoru's dick, suckling on his head and just like you were told a high pitched breathy moan broke past his lips as he threw his head back.

You knew they had done it once before because you remember a blurry memory of watching them after they finger fucked you for the first time, but you never really connected the dots that they might've done it before then too.

"You really are oblivious sometimes huh," Suguru's humming, his fingers toying with the waistband of your pants as you slobbered all over Satoru's shaft.

"Nuh uh," you mumbled before licking a long stripe up his throbbing cock, following a ridge of one of the veins that painted his oh so pretty dick, causing the boy to mewl.

"Such a liar," Suguru sighed, yanking down your pants much to your surprise, taking your panties with them in one swoop, as he used one of his arms to lift you up off the wooden planked floors as he forced the fabric away from your skin.

"Suguru," you gasp, swatting at his hands that gripped your waist.

"Relax princess," he merely cooed, "you focus on our pretty little boy yeah, don't mind me," you could only really heed his words as you couldn't pry off his greedy grip, not that you really wanted to anyways as you opened your mouth, slipping yourself down Satoru's spit soaked cock.

"Ah- fucking hell pretty," he bucked his hips, making you choke lightly as you press both your hands onto his thighs, trying to keep him still as you did your best to please him like you had once blearily watched Suguru do.

Speaking of Suguru you couldn't really feel much after he practically stole off your lower garments, just some shuffling and light touches but quickly that changed as between your thighs you felt something warm and slippery prod at your hole, making you force yourself off Satoru with a gasp.

Your gaze shifts downward only to find tantalizing purple eyes staring up at you between your thighs, "I told you to focus on Satoru," he chastised smacking the flesh of your ass once more, jiggling the cheek between his hands before he slithered his tongue out to lick at your folds once more, "I'll take care of your little mess, yeah," he winks before calling up to the boy you continued to stroke, "Toru, you should really see how wet you're making her," he exclaims and you could feel your face flush when his hands grab at your thighs, forcing your weight onto his face, "don't try and fight me," he murmurs the moment he feels you try and squirm back to your knees and you find yourself listening, quietly taking a seat on his face as you leaned forward, trying to ignore the sensation between your legs as you angled the springing cock in front of you downwards, opening your mouth wide as you did your best to loosen your throat, attempting to accommodate his frustratingly long member.

You could feel his fingers tangle in your hair as you slowly bobbed your head, feeling a tongue prod at your entrance and you couldn't help the way you rolled your hips, relishing in the groan that rumbled against your clit.

You watched as love drunk eyes stared at you mesmerized, open mouth letting out whines as you slid as far as you could go, taking him in and out as you rubbed whatever you couldn't reach, a silent promise in your gaze that'd you learned to swallow all of him but despite your inability he still seemed quite satisfied with the way moans left his pretty pink lips, but part of you was feeling bad, upset with not being able to take him in all his entirety and gently you slipped off, letting a glob of spittle run down his length as you fisted tightly.

"Let go of my hair Toru," you murmur and he whined out, "please just wanna make you feel better," you coo, moving your hand tightly as you tried your best to keep from moaning, your weeping core pooling in Suguru's mouth as he lapped you up in earnest, gliding between your folds as he sucked upon your clit, making sparks fluster up your thighs.

It felt weird to be eaten out, the feeling of his tongue unusual but not unwelcome, after all today was one full of unexplored territory as you gave Satoru your very first hand and blow job, but you wanted to give him more, not satisfied with the way your mouth could barely take him half way. "C'mon Toru," you plead, feeling your legs squeeze as Suguru's teeth lightly nicked against your clit, the stinging pain pleasurable.

Soon enough you felt reluctant hands untangle from your hair and you smile up at the boy, the very sight of him making you wet as his dewy eyes glowed for you, eying you with hunger as his pink lips grew swollen as he bit down, his sweaty face and disheveled hair still somehow beautiful, "my little angel," you whisper in praise, "gonna make you feel nice," you promise yet again, carefully taking your hand off his dick despite his loud protests, tears welling in his eyes.

"Don't go," he whimpered, trying to cup your face and you press a gentle kiss to his palm before leaning back.

"M'not going anywhere," you murmured, tapping his knee, "just wait a moment for me yeah pretty boy," you sigh out, doing your best not to succumb to your own pleasure as Suguru squirmed his tongue inside of you. You could feel their gazes burning against your skin, one pleading while the other drank up all your reactions and you forced yourself to ignore it, reaching for the hem of your shirt before swiftly yanking it off, revealing the pretty little bra Satoru had bought you, one of many that actually fit you perfectly.

"Come a little closer baby," you call for Satoru, his legs instantly moving as he sat at the very edge of the couch, and you smiled in appreciation, "good boy," you whisper, the words feeling dirty off your tongue but you say them anyways, enjoying the way his breath hitched at your words, "sit still for- ngh," you moan, head leaning against his thigh as fingers slowly pistoned in and out of your dripping cunt, lips wrapping around your clit, "still for me," you continue, lifting your head with a gasp, your hips wiggling to try and disrupt his steadily growing pace to no avail.

Satoru could only nod for you, his cock throbbing as his head leaked, begging for attention and you were eager to provide it as you lifted your tits, leaving them captured in your bra as you slipped him through your cleavage, pushing him all the way through, watching as he poked out through the top and you brought your hands up to the sides of your breasts, rubbing them over his length.

"Fuck baby, oh my god," he cried, bare chest heaving as he stared down at you, pretty boobs enveloping his dick and he bucked in your hold as he watched the blob of spit drip from your mouth and slide right into the crease of your chest before you start licking his tip, suckling as you began to bob your head, his hands instantly finding their way back into your hair, his thighs spasming with every particularly good swirl of your tongue.

The lewd shlick, shlick, shlick, of your mouth sliding in synch with the dripping squelching of your cunt as he delved into your arousal, drinking it up as though you were spewing wine, sinful

"S-So good for me, so fucking good for me," Satoru praised between gasps, "tits squeezing me so tight, feel so good, your mouth is so warm making me feel so good," he whimpered in repeat, "look so hot like this," he groaned and you could feel the hands threaded between your locks begin to push on your scalp, forcing you down and you didn't put up a fight, complying to his whims as the teary eyed boy whimpered out compliments.

Both his hands tangle between your hair, holding you by the sides of your head before he's forcing you down onto his dick, causing you to choke as he pushed you down deeper than before but he only mumbled a slurred out half-assed apology before doing it again, a sting of tears pricking at the corner of your eyes as you began to gag on his absurdly long dick as he planted his feet to the floor, thighs hitting the underside of your breast as he fucked into your throat, fuckin it as if it was your wet cunt, saliva mixing with his pre as it dripped onto your chest. The slight discomfort you felt was nothing compared to the heavenly sight of watching him chase his high, lips begging and pleading as he shook his hips, forcing wet sounds from your mouth.

"Ah fuck baby, so good for me you mouth and pretty tits- oh hell, ngh, feel so good," he praised his pace cruel as he continued. The sounds were sinful as not only did you loudly choke but the ungodly slurps emanating up from your cunt had you dripping even more, feeling that now familiar sensation of a tightening knot grow and soon enough you were bucking your own hips over Suguru's mouth, hips matching the same pace Satoru set for your mouth as you rode his face, taking no shame in your actions as you felt your tits tremble.

"Mm- oh- ngh baby m'gonna," he whimpered, "gonna cum, gonna cum," he warned, eyes wide and his hips stuttered, his balls clenching as you massaged every last drop from them, feeling hot spurts trickle down your throat, his body bucking and you only hummed, drinking his cum until it no longer spilled.

You come off with a pop, his heaving chest a sight to see and you plant your hands on his knees, sliding your breasts off and he grinned down at you, bleary eyes staring at you in pure bliss as he watched you now bask in your pleasure, fingers interlacing with his as you felt your own knot snap, lower belly warming as you began to gush into Suguru's groaning mouth, his lips suckling tightly as he drank you up.

From there on out your dirty little secret grew even more filthy as now at least once a week, one of the two boys had their fingers knuckle deep in your cunt while the other toyed with some other part of your body. It didn't matter the position, sometimes you were standing in the genkan, legs spread as you leaned against the wall for support, moans muffled by lips and fingers pounded into your sloppy pussy mere seconds after you walked through the door. Oral was also up on the table, dicks slipping into your mouth as you learned to suck one and stroke the other, sometimes even licking both their heads at the same time as they touched tips. At times you all pleasured each other, no one left out as fingers rammed deep into your guts as you slobbered over one cock while one of the men slobbered over the remaining

They began to grow more risky too, finding pleasure in the way you did your best to muffle your gasp as instead of sneaking kisses in the bathroom of his estate you were hiding your dripping cunt stuffed full of their fingers. You had on more than one occasion been pulled into a bathroom at a house party and found yourself on your knees in front of a hardened dick and you have had on more than one occasion have had a dick in your mouth under a cloth covered table at a restaurant surrounded by your friends while you humped their leg.

It was strange, the way the three of you found yourselves in a more sexually explicit relationship but you didn't really categorize it as friends with benefits because it wasn't just smutty intimacy but also romantic, as they spent hours after the fact cleaning you up, making sure you were fed, falling asleep with you bundled in their arms, even if you didn't please each other sexually that night.

It was strange, truly so, but you found yourself falling in a routine with them, pleasing them in whichever way they needed, whether it was a hug, a kiss, or their fingers inside you, or your mouth on them. If they needed emotional support, comfortable affection of filthy affection you gave it to them both, no questions asked, and they did the same.

It was then, after a few months they spent thoroughly stretching your pussy, before they even dared to answer one of your dirtiest little questions.

"What would it feel like if you fucked me" 

[lucrezianoin]

So one of my mutual on twitter was saying that it seems like in Western animated shows (a part from a general lack of queer romances) FF romances have higher numbers than MM. Because I wanted to check, I made a list so I thought it would be nice to share both FF and MM romances in Western animation, so people know where to find them!! FF ships are here.

Most of these are canon and main ships, but sadly there is truly a lack of number compared to FF ships, and I hate when the pictures number is unbalanced, which is why I added the last four, you can see I added a question mark on some of them so I will explain in the description.

There will be SPOILERS (especially for: Did they kiss? Did they end up together?)

In order (top to bottom, left to right):

Lacklon and Roland (Dragon Age Absolution): Lacklon and Roland are both main characters in this one season show, unsure yet if we will have a second season. They have a flirting/teasing relationship through the whole show which ends up with them kissing (so yes, they do kiss!). They are implied to stay together as they also discuss what they will do after the mission!

Ballister and Ambrosius (Nimona): This is an animated movie, and Ballister is a protagonist and Ambrosius a main character. They are ex-boyfriends turned enemies and then reconcociling with an enemies-to-lovers once more! Do they kiss? Yes! They also have a happy ending and they are together.

Runaan and Ethari (The Dragon Prince): Runaan and Ethari are both secondary characters. They are already in a relationship when they appear (together and raising a child), mostly shown in the comics and through flashbacks (where yes, they do kiss!). They are separated from most of the show as Runaan is trapped in a sort of prison since S1. In S6 Runaan is finally freed, and S7 will be the last season of the show so I fully expect them to be reunited. The protagonist of the show (Rayla) is their adopted daughter.

Blitz and Stolas (Helluva Boss): Blitz is the protagonist of Helluva Boss and Stolas is a main character. They have an ongoing sexual casual relationship turned into real feelings, with a lot of misunderstandings about how real the feelings are/how they see each other's. Their relationship is very graphic, so yes, they do kiss, and there is sexual content. The show is still ongoing, with them finally dealing with their feelings (maybe!) after a quick break up. They are the main romance of Helluva Boss and the creator of the show confirmed they will be endgame.

Fizzarolli and Asmodeus (Helluva Boss): They both are secondary characters in Helluva Boss, with Fizzarolli probably having a bit more screentime than Asmodeus. They are already in a loving relationship when introduced, and have two full episodes also dedicated to them and their romance.

Gary Prince and Marshall Lee (Fionna and Cake): Fionna and Cake is an AU of Adventure time, so this is the genderbend version of Bubbline set in a modern Fionna and Cake setting. Only one season of Fionna and Cake is out, and I have yet to watch it, but I know they date through the whole season and become boyfriends. Do they kiss? Yes! A new season is set to start in the future.

Korvo and Terry (Solar Opposites): This is another ongoing show with a sixth season coming out. Terry and Korvo are the two protagonists, and they start as colleagues/mission partners and progress into a romance. As I have not watched the show, I am unsure how the pace is, but I know that yes, they do kiss and then they marry and become husbands in S5!

Barney and Logan (Dead End paranormal park): Another show I did not watch but I did watch their scenes on youtube! Barney is the protagonist and he is a trans man (and gay) and Logan (also called Logs) is one of the main characters. The show has only two seasons before being cancelled. Barney and Logan meet in the show, and Barney is immediately attracked to him. Do they kiss? Yes!

Benson and Troy (Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts): The show has three seasons and is complete. Benson is part of the main cast and Troy a secondary character and appears in all three seasons. They start to date in season 3. Do they kiss? Yes!

Kaldur'ahm and Wyynde (Young Justice): This is a complete four season DC show. Kaldur'ahm is Aqualad and one of the protagonists. If you checked my FF romances post you know I am not familiar with DC, and it was pretty hard to find information. From what I can tell, Wyynde appears in S3 and S4 and they are already in an established relationship.

Steve and Benji (Q Force): The show was one season and then it was cancelled. Steve is the protagonist and Benji is a secondary character. They meet in the show itself, start dating and seems to have a happy ending even if the show was cancelled. Do they kiss? Yes!

NOT CANON

Angel Dust and Husk (Hazbin Hotel): The show only has one season out, so I think this might fall into the category of "Will they? Maybe? Looks promising!". They are both main characters, and Angel Dust often flirts with Husk. At least from Angel Dust's side there seems to be both attraction and affection. We will have to see!

Soren and Corvus (The Dragon Prince): The last season will release soon, and I think this ship is a "Who knows, maybe... we'll see" category. The Dragon Prince already has a M/M ship, so if this is meant to be they would not shy away from it. The two characters meet pretty early in the show, with Soren being one of the main cast while Corvus a secondary character. There are some interviews from the creators that seem to confirm this will be the direction. I guess we will see!

Jayce and Viktor (Arcane): This is more in a "Interpret it your own way" category I guess. It heavily relies on tropes used in other popular queer-interpreted shows (copying the whole of Magic Madoka's very popular cosmic scene). Creators of the show seems to be on different sides of it, with some saying they have a brotherly bond and the ship cannot happen because Viktor is asexual (misunderstanding asexuality and spreading acephobia at the same time), other saying that the bond was never written as romantic but they can see it as a possibility after seeing how the animation studio decided to write them. The ship heavily leans on "only you can save me"/"only you in all timelines and possibilities", and it ends with both characters dying/disappearing and cosmically linked. So I guess we will see if they will be left "in the brace of the arcane" or if they will be revisited.

MEH

Shiro and Curtis (Voltron): I am sorry, I said I would only post main ships, and this is not it. But it felt wrong to exclude given I posted a few "fanon maybe will be canon" ships, and Shito is one of the protagonists. Still, this is a lazy case of "let's give him a random character so he can marry and kiss him at the last minute". I would hardly consider Curtis a character at all.

FF SHIPS HERE

[bodegadulac]

What did you think of the first phase of the WCU?

Hmmm, you know what. I'm reviewing it.

First of all Dragon from 2008, the movie that started it all.

I liked:

●Seeing her origin, how newfoundland fell and her sheer sense of powerlessness before triggering.

●The evolution from her first crude suit to a more regined dragon armor.

●I liked RDJ as Collin, i was very happed they picked up his stinger for the sequel.

●Teacher was a pretty good villain, hapoy they didn't kill him off.

What i didn't like:

●Gwynnet Paltrow's character was unnecesary, why would dragon need a secretary???

●It doesn't get how to make you feel stakes when the protag is an IA

●Terrence Howard as Rennick is just there, and how they changed the actor in the next film left a sour taste.

7/10

Then you have Lung: Dragon of Kyushu.

What can i say that hasn't been said yet? I was skeptic for them reimagining Lung as a hero but it just works.

I like how it set up Leviathan as the overarching villain of the phase, i like how it has that runaway vibe with Kenta running from the Yangban.

The CGI of his fight against Seven was pasable, and the post credit scene with Zero planning to hunt him down went nowhere. But idc, it was overall pretty good. 9/10

I would have killed for another Lung movie.

The ugly duckling of Phase 1, Dragon 2.

I honestly liked it more than the first one, Saint and the dragon slayers are an actual threat that works.

Dragons own issues with her nature are explored in a neat way.

I liked the teacher plot twist at the end, that he had been manipulating saint.

And please tell me the scene of Dragon and Armsmaster killing the Dragonslayers didn't fuck.

8/10, fun watch.

Theo my beloved. Golem fucked so much man.

A coming of age story about a young man leaving his nazi family behind.

It kind of gets completely interrumpted by the Slaughterhouse nine tbh.

Like i get you are building up a cinematic universe but having some guy show up, say "i will come back on a couple years and kill everybody and thats on you" and fuck off wasn't terribly great.

But the final fight against Hookwolf as a middlepoint between the nazi family subplot and the slaughterhouse 9 subplot worked.

6/10

I don't like flashback movies in big cinematic universes. Sometimes they feel like they don't mean a thing on the long term because most characters are dead so they won't affect that comes later.

Miss Millitia: the first ward shutted me up.

Hanah is a fucking great protagonist, all of the first wards are great.

I loved her bromance with mouse protector, i cried when she died.

What the fuck is Hugo Weaving playing Allfather????

Overall i feel like this is the best out of the Phase.

10/10

It all came to it. Protectorate from 2012.

Leviathan was pretty built up from Lung and Dragon so it felt like it worked. Jack felt pretty tacked on tbh.

I like how it sets up Scion as this cameo total force of good that can't affect the plot. Wonder what they will do with him.

I didn't like that Collin set a fucking nuke towards new york. I hope there are consecuences for this in the future.

Liked how director Armstrong got to assemble the tram through the movies.

I don't know how to feel about Blue Flechette, apparently her first costume in the comics was like that? Idk.

Scarlett Johansen as Queen aka Emily Piggot from the PRT was cool.

Honestly that what Protectorate is. Cool.

Even if that bastard Jack escaped at the end of the movie.

8/10

[cactus-cuddler]

｡☆✼★━━━━𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐰𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐝━━━━━━━

Natasha Romanoff

x !female reader

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

Word count: 1444

Plot: You have been engaged to Natasha Romanoff since your penultimate year of high school and you will get married in a few months. You have only one regret in your entire relationship: not going to the prom because you were afraid to show yourself to the world for who you are.

Genre: romance, fluff

Author Note: English is not my first language so please excuse any grammatical errors/horrors. If you like it let me know and if you have any requests just write to me!

It is a cold and rainy day. You’re in your bed with your girlfriend, Natasha Romanoff, watching your favorite film for the thousandth time. Lying next to each other, she hugs you from behind, gently stroking your head. The warmth of the blankets and the comforting embrace of Natasha from behind make you feel safe and loved. You and Natasha have been engaged since the penultimate year of high school, and now, in a few months, you will be married. You can't wait. The thought of spending your life with Natasha fills you with anticipation and joy, even on dreary days like this.

Just being with Natasha can turn a rough day into a sunny one. The movie, about teenagers having their love story, ends with the prom where the protagonists are crowned “King and Queen of the party.” It reminds you of when you were that age and didn’t attend the prom with your girlfriend because you were afraid. You hadn’t come out yet, and the thought of not being able to kiss or dance with your girlfriend made you decide not to go. This is one of your biggest regrets, you would have liked to be more courageous but you wanted to deprive yourself and your girlfriend of a magical moment.

You look sad, wishing you could have lived that teenage love without hiding. Natasha notices and asks, "is there something wrong?” you just say “no,” shaking your head. What’s important now is that you have the love of your life here with you. She’s not convinced, but she doesn’t insist. She leaves a kiss on your forehead and holds you tighter.

。·:*:·ﾟ★,。·:*:·ﾟ☆。·:*:·ﾟ★,。·:*:·ﾟ☆

You fall asleep before the movie finishes, and Natasha wakes you up.

"Wake up, sleepyhead," Natasha teases, gently tickling your nose to rouse you from your slumber. You blink groggily, your eyes meeting hers.

"Good morning, pirozhóchek,” she says, and you melt. This nickname means “little cake.” She loves cake, and she loves you, so you’re her little cake. “Good morning, darling,” you say rubbing your eyes.

“Today we’re going shopping!” she announces.

“You hate shopping,” you remind her.

“I know, but there’s a special dinner with my team, and someone told me I can’t go in my uniform,” she says with a smile. You recognize the hint (you are that someone) and agree to go shopping with her.

After breakfast, you get dressed and head out. Walking hand-in-hand through your little town, you feel at ease knowing everyone now knows about your relationship. The sky is clear, and the sun is shining. You insisted on walking instead of taking the car so you could enjoy the beautiful day, look at shop windows, watch children playing, and pet some stray kittens.

There is a small store that sells pretty dresses at good prices. The shop is charming, decorated with plants and flowers that fill the air with a lovely scent. Natasha gives you free rein to choose a dress for her, and you’re excited. You’ve never seen her in a pretty dress since you met. You carefully look at the dresses, searching for the one that makes you think, “This is the dress for her.” Natasha walks close by hands in her pockets. When she sees some guys looking at you, she takes your hand to make it clear that you’re hers. You smile at her every time.

“Do I have such an ugly body that there's nothing that would fit me?” she asks, tired. “You have the opposite problem. You’re too beautiful, and no dress would do you justice,” you reply determined to find the perfect dress. Your eyes land on THE dress. It’s perfect for her. It stands out from the others, its design and color scheme seeming tailor-made for Natasha's unique beauty.

“I won’t wear that,” she protests, but you don’t listen. You take her hand and lead her to the dressing rooms. When she comes out, you can only say, “Wow.” She’s gorgeous.

“You’re beautiful,” you say in a faint voice. “I can’t go around dressed like this. I look like a princess who needs to be saved, and I’m the one who saves others” she says. You approach her, making your noses touch.

“For once, you will be my princess,” you tell her, and she smiles at you. You share a small kiss on the lips, and she goes to change and pay for the dress.

"For you, anything," she murmurs, her voice barely above a whisper.

。·:*:·ﾟ★,。·:*:·ﾟ☆。·:*:·ﾟ★,。·:*:·ﾟ☆

After lunch, she says she has to work, leaving you alone at home. Sundays are usually your days together, the only day you don’t have to work. It makes you sad, but you know Natasha’s work is important. You decide to put on your favorite music and eat your favorite ice cream to keep your Sunday happy and lazy. Someone knocks at the door. You hope it’s Natasha, even though you know it’s impossible. There’s a package in front of the door, addressed to you. You haven’t ordered anything online, and Natasha didn’t mention it, but curiosity gets the better of you, and you open it. Inside, you find a golden letter and a dress. Not just any dress, but the one you would have worn to the prom years ago. The only person who knows about that dress is Natasha. Your smile can’t be any bigger. You open the letter and find a prom invitation:

“For students who attended this school year, you are all invited to participate in the prom.”

At first, you think it must be a joke or a mistake, but the second piece of paper in the envelope reveals you have the best girlfriend in the world: “Thank you for coming to prom with me. I’ll pick you up tonight at 7:00.” It’s only two hours till 7:00, and you’re a mess! If only she had told you earlier.

You’ve never prepared so quickly before. When the doorbell finally rings, you're putting the finishing touches on your ensemble, a nervous excitement bubbling within you. With a deep breath, you open the door to find Natasha standing before you, radiant in the dress you had chosen together, a single red rose in her hand.

“Such a beautiful lady,” she says, handing you the flower. She offers you her hand, and you take it. Together, you head to her car, where she plays the songs you used to listen to in high school, bringing back fond memories.

“Where are we going?” you ask, noticing the unfamiliar route.

“It’s a surprise,” she replies, and you hum along to the songs. She parks in front of a beautiful park and blindfolds you, carefully leading you inside. When she lets you see, you’re in the middle of a meadow, surrounded by balloons, speakers, and a stage. Just the two of you.

The sky paints a stunning backdrop with shades of yellow, orange, and purple, and the dim sunlight adds a romantic touch to your little corner of the world.

“I know it’s not the same because there’s no one else, but I wanted you to be able to dance at your prom too,” she says, starting the music with a remote control. “Will you allow me this dance?” You hug and kiss her passionately before starting to dance to the notes of “My Love Mine All Mine.” She gently caresses your back while you dance, and you hold her tight as if nothing could ever separate you. After the dance, she goes on stage and pulls out a crown and a microphone from a box you hadn’t noticed.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like your attention,” she says, looking straight into your eyes.

“It’s time to name the king or queen of the ball.” She pauses for dramatic effect, then announces, “The queen is you,” inviting you on stage to crown you. You share a kiss that leaves you breathless, stopping occasionally to look at each other and smile.

“Anyway, I was tempted to give the crown to that squirrel,” she whispers pointing to a squirrel that was in a tree near you making you laugh.

“You’re still in time,” you tease, and Natasha laughs.

“I think it’s the best prom I’ve ever attended. Thank you so much, sweetheart. I love you.”

“I love you too, pirozhóchek.” The wind gently caresses your hair as you continue to dance, this time on the stage, the clinking of your heels accompanying the music. Time passes, but you don’t notice it. Your bodies are touching, your hands intertwined, and your love uniting you is all you need at this moment.

[cipheramnesia]

When a film gets weird with it, always roll with it if you can. Like, I was watching Love Will Tear Us Apart - a low budget Japanese thriller. And I think I know where this is going. Like, hey cool, a young girl with an abusive father is gonna pick up her own personal age appropriate murder hobo, sounds good, where are they going with this? Smash cut, seven years later caption, so alright, didn't see that coming, I guess it's about teenage girl now, I assume the same murder hobo is playing into what is now a slasher movie and, oh uh two years later. Okay, what in the sam fuck is going- One year later! What? Ah, sure that seems f- One year later!

It's pretty fantastic, a little slow starting but peculiar enough to keep you hanging in there for the world's most Done With This Shit looking slasher. Technically that did not escalate quickly, but the filmmakers' decisions to skip a decade of escalation makes it feel quick. It's not hard to root for the killer in most slasher movies, but Love Will Tear Us Apart goes kind of all in on "that's my man and he absolutely did all that."

Difficult to name one favorite moment, but there's a training montage as the protagonist learns martial arts to fight the slasher. Her training guru congratulates her on finally being ready and then hands her a fucking .357 revolver. I think a sequel could really go places.

[apoloadonisandnarcissus]

Finally got to see “Nosferatu” (2024) and what a masterpiece. Peak gothic horror, my teenage self came alive with this film. This is truly for the gothic horror, history and folklore enjoyers.

Eggers brings the audience into the Victorian era; not only visually but on the storytelling itself. There are so many layers happening here. This film is a meditation on sex and death, modernity and spirituality, science and superstition. It’s set in the 19th century, at the dawn of the modern Western world; and as Europeans move towards technology and science, they drift away from folklore and pagan religions. It’s no coincidence that Orlok comes into Germany to terrorize a city, the ultimate symbol of civilization.

Our protagonist Ellen is a seer, a medium, an “enchantress” like Orlok calls her, and even Von Franz recognizes she could have been a “Priestess of Isis” had she been born in pagan times. Unfortunately for Ellen, she was born in the “wrong era” and she’s brutally medicalized for her gifts, being diagnosed as a “melancholic hysteric somnambulist” aka hyper-sexual depressive and suicidal. She’s able to see beyond the realm of the living, which causes her to summon and awake Orlok from his centuries old nap, at the beginning of the movie, and develop a psychosexual connection with him; which is, indeed, what separates this story from the other “Dracula” adaptations.

Count Orlok is the archetypal Death, here; which culminates with the “Death and the Maiden” motif at the end. This was a very popular Art History archetype around the so-called “Plague years” (14th to 16th century) in Europe, and it’s often connected with other motifs like “Danse Macabre” and “Memento Mori”. It has several meanings depending on the author intent, usually a reminder of our mortality, but also a meditation on sex and death, as in the French “la petite mort” (“little death”), the post-orgasm sensation, sexual release potentially causing temporary loss of consciousness (fainting) or dizziness. In the Medieval Ages, physicians believed orgasms could lead to death because they drained the “life force” from the body. This was when the term “petite mort” was created, and this belief persisted into the Renaissance and beyond. In “Nosferatu” this probably translates in the sexual pleasure that Orlok imprints on his victims as he drains their life force.

Thomas is a ambitious young man who marries Ellen, and he craves the status and the money his long-friend Friedrich Harding has. At Thomas’ side, Ellen “gifts” appear to have been blocked, and she’s able to lead a “normal life”. This caused her to developed a somewhat co-dependent relationship with him. And this makes me ask: does Ellen truly loves him or does she loves the idea of herself with him? Ellen profound need to feel loved also extends to her friendship with Anna, and she even thanks her for loving her. This is also a desire she expresses to Orlok, as she accuses him of being incapable of loving her (in the human sense), this being the reason for her resisting to succumb to his offer (Thomas loves her, he doesn’t).

Many interpretations have been brought forward about Ellen story (abuse, grooming, etc.), personally I disagree. I see it as a metaphorical story of depression (Ellen not only gets diagnosed with “melancholy”, the Victorian equivalent for “Depression”, but she also presents a lot of synonyms of Bordeline Personality Disorder), and how it can wreck havoc on the lives of those around us when the proper medical treatment is not available, and it culminates with Ellen joining Orlok/Death = committing suicide. Like Orlok himself, she can never be satiated with the world of the living, and finds fulfillment in death, and him as a “past lover” can be interpreted not only with suicidal ideation but actual attempts.

The influence of Grand Guignol theatre is also visible in some scenes, where horror and comedy are blended. Some scenes are indeed very theatrical and this seems intentional.

Personally, I didn’t find this film scary (as in terrifying). It’s macabre and eerie, for sure. Visually, it’s stunning. Amazing cinematography, very atmospheric and dream-like. Customs and sets are incredible. A feast for historians like myself. I was gushing over the medieval architecture of Orlok castle because of course I was. The attention to detail in this film is incredible. I absolutely loved Orlok character design as the “Renaissance plague carrier”.

[balkanradfem]

Did anyone watch the horror movie 'The Substance'? I've seen it because someone recommended it to me, and I saw one of the three directors was female, but now I just have few thousands words of criticism and upset about it. Click if you want to read it. Tw for themes of women abused in tv industry and the fear of aging out of their jobs.

So, the substance is about a woman aging out of her role in television where she runs a fitness program, and she is distraught to realize she's going to get replaced. Sadly she blames her own aging process about it! She gets in an accident, and then a male nurse gives her an usb showcasing 'the substance', a serum that makes a younger version of you come out of your body.

She takes it, and her body opens up to let out a younger version, a different acctress, come out and look at herself in the mirror. I was already upset by this point about the depiction of a woman losing her job for aging and hating herself, and not the industry and the males in it, but now I was in disbelief. It was funny that they wanted me to believe another woman exited from her back and didn't break her spine in the process, whatever, but now she was in a new body, and immediately went 'yas slay look how hot I am' Excuse me what?

I thought, at least one part of the horror would be feeling off and alien if forced to switch consciousness to another body, a body that is unfamiliar, that you didn't grow with, it would be traumatizing. No matter how much more 'socially likeable' a new body was, I can't imagine looking at my own hands and legs and having them look completely different, and being okay about it. It would cause a crisis in anyone, your identity would be in shambles. You couldn't get used to it, you'd have trouble looking at the mirror at all, and would forget it and constantly be reminded of it when seeing glimpses of your own hands, and it would shock and disturb you every time. How would you talk to your friends and family now? How would you deal with people you loved who couldn't recognize you? It would be mentally scarring.

If she had one single friend to talk about this, the entire premise would fall apart because it would become obvious that this is stupid and shouldn't be done.

Watching on it turned out they cut this woman out from any social context of her life. She had no friends, no family, not even any acquaintances. The only person who ever talked to her was one(1) single ex classmate, and other than that, she seemed to have zero people in her life who even knew she existed. But there's nobody like that. Yes, you can be socially isolated, but hardly to the point where nobody in the world knows you exist. If you go outside people memorize you. She didn't have anyone who knew her. She was supposed to be a popular figure on tv. But she didn't exist. This woman had no past, no existence in anyone's world, no connections to other people whatsoever. It made her less of a believable character to me. Nobody can exist completely out of social context of their life. We didn't get an explanation of why she has no family, or friends or acquaintances, or past loves, or anything like that. It was almost like she was now so irrelevant due to her age that the world just cut her out, which is scary but also ridiculous, she looked young!!

Another glaring flaw in the movie was that... the older woman in the movie was so clearly more attractive than the younger. They tried to shoot her face in harsh lightning and highlight whatever they thought was wrong with her body, but she just looked excellent under any kind of standards. What do you mean this teenager is 'hotter' than the original protagonist. She looks 17, she looks like she shouldn't be allowed outside after dark. The idea of her being filmed by older males gave me nausea, get that child away from them. I had to skip most of the scenes with her because it looked like child pornography. They had her wearing breast prostetics to make her look adult and put her in clothing no woman alive would find appealing or comfortable to wear, it was painful, uncomfortable and horrifying.

The entire existence of the younger woman was dehumanizing. She didn't eat. She didn't watch tv. She didn't do anything human. She was a male idea of a 'hot young girl', who only existed to look like what males think is appealing, dance on stage, and get male approval. That's it, we never see her exhausted, sad, commiserating how difficult it is to be around males who objectify you all day, we never see her complain about sexualizing and so obviously ignored sexual harassment she was put trough – the movie acted like sexual harassment didn't exist. Males around her appeared to only care about how much money she could make them and even though that was disgusting too, I don't believe for a second that a woman in that scenario doesn't get extensively sexually harassed. But the movie skipped over that. Like it just didn't matter. She doesn't have mental health issues because she's an attractive female child on television. She isn't human to them.

The younger woman had to switch bodies with her original counterpart weekly, and at first I found these little moments soothing, because the older woman was clearly showing signs of pain, hunger, exhaustion, irritation, depression. I thought 'oh, there's the humanity I was missing!' and was just happy to see her eat something. But then, to my horror, these little moments of humanity were ... demonized. The fact that she was eating was a flaw and a failure in the movie. She was depicted as addicted to food, jealous, bitter, angry and like giving in to any human urge for entertainment and rest was her 'wasting her life'. I was chilled by this notion, because I realized that's how males see female needs in real life. A waste.

Another thing I found upsetting was the amount of completely naked scenes the acctresses had to go trough, because I can't imagine anyone feeling okay and comfortable with being filmed like that. It felt invasive and uncomfortable for me to see. I knew it was done like this for male satisfaction, it wasn't catered to me. It disturbs me to think they felt comfortable looking at that. Female discomfort is a source of pleasure to them.

The movie progresses in the protagonist taking more and more time being in the younger body, resulting in the older body deterioration. She ends up feeling like she's two people, which is logical at least; you would feel like you're someone else if you're a different body, it at least displayed that little bit of 'you are your body' consequences. The male nurse who gave her the substance starts stalking her, and talking to her in public, and I found this part interesting. The male tried to get her to relate to him, said things like '7 days is long' and 'has she started eating at you already', and to me it became obvious that the male nurse knew exactly what this was going to do to her, and did it anyway. Because he felt lonely and wanted a female companion who also switches bodies. He picked her out and victimized her because he wanted company who also suffered and struggled with the same problem, he spread the misery for his own benefit. I thought we were going to look at that? I thought we would unpack that for a second? Male selfishness and bringing misery into female's life for their selfish purposes? But movie said no and we never see him again.

The younger version seems to forget she ever had any more age, and recklessly parties and does public events not caring that her counterpart is getting destroyed, until at the end, they both end up in some kind of monstrous shape, which okay, the extra teeth were fun, add extra teeth on women yes. But she is ultimately killed when appearing in on a social event looking like that. The ending just shows her dreaming about being famous and cheered on by the crowd, and it looks almost like the movie thinks her endless greed for glory and fame did this to her. Like this is her own fault, she destroyed the body she had in pursuit of eternal approval and gratification of a cheering crowd. I was looking at this like, who was this made for? Nothing about this clicks, is this for people obsessed with their own fame? Is this just a made up idea of what the world looks like for women who are trying to be famous? Because it wasn't clicking with any reality I was aware of.

We've listened to women going trough fame and popularity, and we know what these stories entail. First half of it is being introduced to it too young, forced into it by their parents or guardians, being overworked, missing on childhoods and schooling and family time, not getting enough sleep or rest, being pushed into substance abuse just to get trough the day. And then, endless sexualizing, endless situations where they're in the presence of predators and unprotected. The industry ruthlessly rejecting their personality and forcing them to mold into whatever the public wants, or the producer wants, having their identity crashing with the public opinion of them. Lack of privacy, lack of safety being outside, getting harassed and crowded on the street, not being allowed to live a normal life. Having body issues due to being forced to focus on how you look, because you're under constant scrutiny and now your job depends on how your body looks like, developing mental disorders due to lack of control over your life, and due to control you have to have over your every action. Having your opinions and wants dismissed because your word doesn't count in the industry when you're a woman, being forced to hide what people have done to you in private, often suffering sexual abuse and being forced to keep quiet if you want to keep your job. Breakdowns, suicidal thoughts, both fearing to lose relevancy and wanting out of the industry for your mental health, but it's all you've known and you don't know how to function otherwise. Getting jaded, realizing your own value drops with age, learning to despise everyone who took advantage of you and dropped you the second you weren't making them enough money. Being sick and tired of males talking down to you and dismissing your humanity. Not knowing where to turn for understanding and safety, because the charade has to keep on going in order for the industry to go on.

This is what I would expect a woman in the industry to have learned after being put trough all that, and instead the main character was so void of any backstory, any real experiences, any thoughts or criticism about it, any anger or bitterness about the abuse she'd have suffered in there, and was sorely upset about her lack of job security and that she was no longer looking like a commercial. She would have learned from this, that this is an inherently insecure job industry, it's not worth being in it, but she doesn't seem to learn this. She isn't even angry they hired someone else without telling her. All of her anger was directed towards herself. And the movie was not challenging it. It was saying 'yes, it is your own fault, both for aging, and for wanting not to age. Look what you did.'

And by the end of the movie, she was just the same as the beginning, still just longing for the fame and cheers. She is a character who is not allowed to learn from her experiences, in fact seems to have no experiences, even of the things that happened to her in the movie. She cared for nothing but male validation. She only seemed to care about the younger body for the sake of this validation. Even at the very end when she was killed by the same males who she gave everything to impress for, she wasn't mad at them. She just wanted more validation from them.

And I'm watching this thinking, this must be whats inside of a male brain. He did that because thats how he would act in this situation. Males are incapable of learning from experience, so they assume women are too. Males think that having a body of a young female in their posession would resolve all of their needs and desires, so they think for a woman that would work too, in fact that she would destroy herself to get there. The creepy male fantasy of what a woman would do. It was done to validate their dumb opinions.

One thing I was surprised with was the road not taken in this movie, because it had a lot of potential symbolism! The younger woman exiting the woman's body, was reminiscent of birth. When I noticed it's a different acctress, I thought maybe we were making a parallel of mothers and daughters. Because it's a thing that happens sometimes; women with daughters will look at the daughter and feel she is a prettier, younger version of themselves. It reminds them of their own potential when they were just children, before their lives got decided by marriage and male ownership. And when daughters start receiving male attention, due to the flock of predators always creeping by, mothers will sometimes forget that this is a child bonded and dependant on them, who is now in danger, and instead get jealous, and want that attention for themselves. They'll try to vicariously live trough their daughters, get themselves into the spotlight, or win attention of the males attracted to the child. It's a horrifying event each time, I was reminded by it while watching the movie, seeing how angry the woman was at the younger counterpart for partying, being on tv, being in the spotlight that was now unreachable for her. But the movie ignored this cruel reality as well.

The movie's conclusion is just 'this is somehow the woman's fault', while trying to be a movie about the pressure of the tv industry on women to not age. The pressure is real and experienced by all women, so the movie could have been about analyzing the source of it, showing us the other side of it, how dehumanizing and cruel the males are benefiting from this, how it makes absolutely no sense to cater to them or to care about what they think of female age and appearance. It could have been about male selfishness, greed, pedophilia and predatory nature, it could have pointed us in the horrifying direction of women sacrificing so much of their health and life only for males to have financial benefit and sexual gratification from it. It could have depicted how hard work of women is unappreciated and only rewarded with further abuse.

Instead it focused on pulling women inside out to make horror of their bodies, and depicted teenagers as the ultimate goals for anyone. I think that's where I experienced the most horror, seeing the younger version being dehumanized and depicted as a sexual dream, her every private action looking like a commercial, making her into a reduced non-human robot that only acts the way males think women should. And the woman who actually looked like an adult, was not allowed to learn, criticize, or long for anything except male validation, another fantasy that is as far removed from reality as possible.

[filmperidot]

My Favorite Coming of Age Movies

10 Things I Hate About You (1999)- One of the only rom-coms out there that I don’t feel guilty about loving. Its also one of the only rom-coms that I find laugh out loud funny, and where I genuinely really like both the protagonist and the love interest (I feel like at least one of them typically annoys me).

Booksmart (2019)- Great characters, and a fun new version of a pretty classic plot. It’s extremely funny, and highly enjoyable.

Easy A (2010)- Honestly one of my all time favorite comedies. Emma Stone is an absolute icon, and Stanley Tucci and Patricia Clarkson play the best parents known to cinema.

Eighth Grade (2018)- My god is this movie painful to watch. Prepare to cringe the whole way through, but it’s also quite sweet, and easily the most accurate depiction of middle school I’ve ever seen.

Lady Bird (2017)- The hype is real for this one. Saorise Ronan is amazing. It makes you laugh, tugs at your heartstrings, and does an incredible job depicting the high school experience.

Moonrise Kingdom (2012)- I love Wes Anderson’s style. If you generally aren’t a fan of his work, you won’t be a fan of this one either. But if you’re a fan of his cinematography, campiness, and awkward humor, this one’s for you. It’s a great summer movie.

Stand By Me (1986)- What a classic. It’s nostalgic, poignant, and funny. For me, this is a movie that defines the genre.

The Edge of Seventeen (2016)- Hailee Steinfeld and Woody Harrelson made a hilarious duo. Similar to the other movies on this list, it’s funny, relatable, and slightly heartbreaking in just the right way.

The Kings of Summer (2013)- This ones an underrated gem. It’s a bit of an acquired taste, but overall it’s a great experience. The atmosphere is amazing, and it’ll bring you back to your childhood summers.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012)- God I love this movie. It’s incredibly heartbreaking, and the acting is great (especially from Logan Lerman)! Yes I cry every single time, no not at the part you’d think.

[fahye]

book recs sept/oct 2023

THE SPEAR CUTS THROUGH WATER by simon jiminez -- I have no idea how to describe this. best book I've read in a year. absolutely gutting and beautiful and intricately put-together fantasy about two young men escorting an escaped god-empress on a pilgrimage to bring down an empire. but actually it's so much more intimate than that. please please please read this book, it deserves the world. yes it's gay.

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO by jessica dettmann -- an aussie romcom tailored specifically to me, someone who imprinted on the kenneth branagh much ado about nothing movie. very meta and genre aware, lively and touching, a heap of fun.

LOOKING GLASS SOUND by catriona ward -- also very meta! it's uhhh about a bisexual disaster teen's coming-of-age summer, and also about the decades-later fight over who gets to control the narrative of that summer. and hauntings. and serial killers. every single one of ward's books is its own unique thing and a wonder to behold.

THE NOBLEMAN'S GUIDE TO SEDUCING A SCOUNDREL by kj charles -- if i haven't made you read any kjc books by now then what are we doing here. I don't know how she keeps getting better and better and better. this one is another slippery liar/stubbornly goodhearted but bad-tempered lord pairing. I adored every word.

NOT HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS by jodi mcalister (ARC) -- 3rd book in her series set on a bachelor-like tv show, and my hands-down favourite. friends to lovers but also make it schemer 4 schemer!! I would die for this ruthless tv villain and her sleep deprived gremlin producer and their intense, searing, incredible romance entirely free of conventional moral compasses.

THE HOLLOW PLACES by t. kingfisher -- how are her books both so hilarious and so wildly, skin-crawlingly unsettling?? I think it's because of how relatable the protagonist is. I would react EXACTLY like kara if I found an eerie alternate dimension nexus made of willow trees in the walls of my uncle's weird museum. superb and very readable horror.

THE GILDED CROWN by marianne gordon (ARC) -- fantasy with a sapphic romance between a death-witch and the assassinated princess she was hired to raise from the dead. yes you're right that DOES sound amazing. the writing is assured and smooth and propulsive; if you like stories with a heightened mythic/fairytale feel, you'll love this.