#Life of an elderly person living alone lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

askthekoopsandjr · 6 months

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HI IDK IF YOUVE ANSWERED AN ASK LIKE THIS ALREADY BUT CAN WE GET SOME INFO ON SAZUKA PLEASE

Hi!! I haven't exactly answered a question like this, but I have left information on Suzie here and there. I'll use this as an opportunity to make a sort of "master post" with his information.

Suzuka is a 20 year old dragon-turtle Koopa, a species in scarce numbers (who age much slower than humans). He was born to Hikaru and Takashi Koopa, and has two younger sisters named Tina and Kiriko. His family on his mother's side is reputable for their family owned business of three generations, 大輔のトラディショナルウェア (Daisuke's Traditional Wear, founded by his great-great-great grandfather), a shop dedicated to handmade cultural crafts, clothes and accessories. He works and lives at their small shop/home with his mother and sisters in a busy place called Fōku City ("Folk City"). It is expected of him to inherit ownership of the shop when his mom retires, which won't be for many more years.

He and his relatives are Japanese. In this mysterious world that holds familiar places like the Mushroom Kingdom and the Dark Lands, they are all connected by pipes to the real world (obviously). Depending on where you are in this world, the pipes will lead you to the correlating location to our world. In the case of Fōku City, a pipe would lead to somewhere in Japan. It's not known how the creatures within the pipes have matching cultures, languages etc as us, it's just the way it is.

Suzuka's only other known relatives that are alive would be his grandmother, Sakura Koopa. As per Japanese culture, it is expected to care for the elderly... But his grandma refuses. She doesn't even live in the shop/house, she has her own apartment right across the street. She's always preferred to do things her own way, never letting anyone help her. Suzuka finds this behavior very strange, while his mother finds it very frustrating. Lol

To give a better idea about his family, here's a brief summary for them:

Hikaru Koopa: Only child growing up, now proud mother of three. She is very hardworking and will do *anything* to provide for those she loves. She may seem as though she has no patience for anything that isn't work related, but that is far from the truth. She is kind, happy, and remains calm, despite what inner stresses she bears. She is open minded and open hearted, and would enjoy your company over some afternoon tea.

Tina Koopa: Suzuka's younger sister at 16 years old. She is an aspiring pop singer with a quirky and short-tempered attitude. She doesn't take anyone's crap, and has eternal confidence in everything she cares about. She paints her claws red to strike your eye, determined to stand out regardless of where she is. She typically works alone, but enjoys collaborating with Suzuka when making music.

Kiriko Koopa: Suzuka and Tina's youngest sibling, age 9. She is an energetic young child who can't seem to sit still. She's very active, always finding something or someone to play with. She is very happy and excitable, wanting to talk to everyone on her street if she can. She's still learning the art of her family's craftsmanship, some of which includes sewing, jewelry making, painting, etc.

Takashi Koopa: Oh boy, how do I drop this bomb on you... To put it simply, he's a deadbeat dad. He and Hikaru divorced after Kiriko hatched, when Suzuka was 14. His own children couldn't tell you much about him, as he was largely absent and unset on a personality when parenting. None of them have seen him since the divorce. Good riddance.

Akihiko Koopa: Suzuka's deceased grandfather. He passed when Suzuka was five, but his mother and grandma could tell you endless stories of him.

Alright, now about Suzie!!

Identity: Gay, asexual, apagender, and autistic. He/Him. 6 feet tall, still not done growing. Speaks English and Japanese.

He is a very talented craftsman who's passion in life is making music. His favorite instrument is the electric guitar, but he can also play the drums, a number of Japanese instruments, and has recently taken on the piano. Suzuka favors the guitar because that was the very first instrument he ever held; his father's acoustic guitar. His dad at least cared to teach Suzuka music as a child, which led to one of the many talents he bears today. His preferred genre is rock/metal, and his favorite band is BABYMETAL. He sings, too! His voice is as beautiful as his instruments.

His other hobbies include sketching, cooking, writing poetry, and learning.

His favorite things are: exploring, the colors magenta and warm yellows/oranges, pomegranate flavored blooming tea, the Spring and Summer seasons, and the food yakisoba.

Personality: You might think Suzuka has a lot to brag about with his many talents, but that couldn't be further from the case. Suzuka is one of those people that you meet who you claim to be the nicest person you've ever met. He is very humble, perhaps a little too much... But even so, he is an extrovert. He's almost always smiling, and any instances of him being angry are rare like a blue moon. He will always find a way to get along with you, even when it seems impossible.

The closer you get to him, however, the more you can see where his insecurities lie, and there's quite a few of them. He roots from what was once a shy, flustered and awkward kid with few people he could truly call his friends. His social awkwardness and lack of social awareness was apparent to everyone, it seemed, and as such he was often treated differently. It did not help to be told that the way he looked and the things he liked were a bit girly by father. It's not that his life was miserable and that he's depressed, it's just that he struggles more than you'd expect.

He's had a longing in his heart to share his love with someone he could call his own for a long time. Obviously, he's achieved that now, but before Ludwig, he had never dated in his life. Not to say he never found anyone he was interested in... Just don't ask him about that.

Overall, Suzuka is a happy koopa who knows the joys life has for him, even when everything seems so Impossible.

If you've read How Suzuka Met The Royal Family on my Wattpad, you already know how he and the Koopalings became friends. Well, after having dinner with them that night, he was actually texted by Iggy first! Iggy asked when they could meet again and if he liked robots... As you can guess, this leads to a cartoon episode summary that ends up bringing everyone closer to each other. But Izzy, how does he visit them so often if Fōku City and Bowser's Castle are a two days travel apart by foot (and Suzuka doesn't have access to a vehicle)? The Koopalings have magic that they use to open portals to teleport. Lol.

It is a concern of Suzuka's for what will happen to the family business when he takes over. He absolutely wants to, don't get him wrong, but seeing as he's going steady with Ludwig... What does that mean for the future? What if they eventually *live* together? Ludwig's family is his family, now, what if-? ... The list goes on.

There's a million other things I could say, but those are stories I should make individual posts for. Sorry for throwing this big ass answer at you 😭

Edit 5/7/2024- Here's the link to how Suzie met the Koopalings https://www.wattpad.com/story/344144914-how-suzuka-met-the-royal-family , and here's the link to a short fluff story with pre-Suzuwig https://www.wattpad.com/1434161538-cheep-cheep-beach (and also the audiobook where I hired voice actors to read it which includes David Goldfarb heehee https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdP3KT34Hxc&lc=UgxpwSUYXxw2jEPbrRV4AaABAg )

#koopalings #suzuka koopa #koopa oc #suzuka master post #super mario bros #super mario #nintendo #ask blog #ask box open #admin answers #forgive me if that Japanese text doesn't translate properly i dont speak that language obvs so i had to use a translator #it wasn't google translate it was something else i can't rembr

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pinkmoondoll9shihtzu · 8 months

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silly love confessions: i keep falling in love with older men. except its not even romantic strictly i just become so attached and adoring towards dudes 10+ years older than me..its like romantic and physical adoration + big brother + idol worship............. to me its fine and i'm accepting it and in my mind love is good so its something to be happy about but honestly this situation kind of ruined one of my closest relationships because i made him uncomfortable i guess. I dont know, having a crush often feels creepy i suppose. but I wish there were more accepted ways to love someone to the extent i love people besides romantic love. I don't really want to date anyone I just want to communicate my adoration and affection and have it be reciprocated without there being the issues of whether you can be in a monogamous relationship or not......idk kind of rambling here but i feel like you are one of few people who could understand when i say i feel like my love is religious. and it keeps being tainted by the expectations of modern society. anyway happy valentines day !!!!! love u!!!!!

lolol...me as hell in my early 20s!! everyone i dated was in their 30s, men and women. i have always acted like an elderly person lmao so at the time it was impossible to find anyone my own age i cld relate to. Also probably some subconscious thing to do w my orphan's nature, having no adult guidance for the latter half of my childhood lol..

Also i totally understand wat u mean by wishing love wasnt so "regulated" by certain standards. A huge turning point for me around age 25 was realizing i want to love my friends & family & even strangers as unconditionally as possible even though its bound to get me hurt. i wanted to finally allow myself to b open to people & embrace them without judgement. my life has rly unfolded since that time 5/6 yrs ago & even tho it's been a bumpy ride, it has eventually lead me to the ppl who fully reciprocate this attitude, platonically or otherwise.

So dont be afraid to let your open heart lead the way, it's a rare treasure. One person's sincere unconditional love can be the catalyst for so much positive transformation & healing in the lives of others who feel lost & alone. thankyou for your confession & happy Vday to you too anon <333

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oexen · 3 months

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cw hoarding + mentions of animal and child neglect

is it really gonna take me telling my mother its extremely concerning to have PILES of cat waste just. around. in the house

like i know shes going to flip the fuck out at me in some way or another, be very angry or sad or hurt or some secret other option and like. she misgenders and deadnames me as if i never shared the info with her, the crux of our relationship is financial and thats even pretty minimal. like yeah maybe its sincerely not my problem and i KNOW you cant help someone who doesnt want to be helped, but i dont want to inherit a cat piss soaked infested brick.... thing. no fucking way dude. that shit realistically probably has to be gutted ngl, its fucking awful. shes a hoarder and never really touched my old bedroom so i have some stuff there, stuff id actually like to take even, but the smell is literally pervasive to the point that books smell like it on the fucking inside.

like shes actually at the point her neckbeard nest doesnt register as a problem to her. even with... another person who is not me having to actually go inside of the house??? i like cannot fathom whats going on inside that god forsaken head of hers, she asked me why i was wearing a mask inside and turned around and walked away before i could even say anything, lmfao.

i couldnt spend more than one night in her house and had a mask on the whole time because it fucking blew so hard to be in there. this fucking idiot got 3 huge WORKING dogs (pyrenees and a burmese mtn dog) because its "in her life plan" (news to me lmao!) and tldr she impulse bought them because theyre cute. shes never fucking home, works 9-5 and theyre crated a lot of the time and its fucking horrible to see, i freaked the absolute fuck out on her when i first heard that she had new puppies like what 2 years ago? fucking neglecting the elderly dogs she already had in favor of getting these for some fucking reason, "no more dogs after this one dies" turns into 3 giant stupid fucking untrained, neglected mistakes. the singular saving grace is that they have a big yard to run around in, but that doesn't do a hell of a lot of good when it's hot and this idiot refuses to walk them when shes home anyway. couldn't possibly be because theyre untrained and will drag her stupid ass down the street fr. i think im going to literallt snail mail the next door neighbor or maybe even both of them because like.... what the actual fuck is she doing with these dogs. GET HELP.

ive been telling this absolute knob for YEARS she needs to chill out and do something else (like 3 of her closest blood relatives died in the past several years, 2 of which she was literally caretaking, and she still volunteers at a fucking hospice and has NEVER SOUGHT BEREAVEMENT COUNSELING, LET ALONE COUNSELING IN GENERAL), she keeps saying shes fucking fine and we have LITERALLY had the exchange where she says it to my face and i gesture around and say CLEARLY!!!!!

Anyway. the dogs. shes going to get worse and i know it and im just so disgusted by the prospect of having to like lay it all out probably because no one else will, and i guess i care because its literally affecting me, i sat and wrote all this because im cleaning stuff i took from her house like books and SEALED ITEMS THAT ALSO SMELL LIKE CAT PISS ON THE INSIDE OF THE PACKAGING????????? and got triggered. but whatever. this woman treated me like shit and neglected me for my entire childhood and turns it around and goes WHATDIEVERDOTOYOU if i so much as refuse a hug even this far down the line, its been nearly 10 years since ive lived with her, and like. holy fuck. and she doesnt have a single fucking clue lol like idk its also just like pathetic and sad to see a person go through this, even though she gives me mmmm essentially nothing but feelings of disgust when i really think about it. its just fucked and everyones dying or doesnt care or doesnt feel like they can say anything and im like. idk. i could literally bring this up to lots of people she knows, i could find a damn way, but like yaknow..... it fucking sucks so hard to have to do all this bc this woman is literally severely mentally ill and needs a fucking hand but it sure as shit isnt going to be mine, at least not physically. god.

#a cute little trauma dump on a friday evening :)#anyway like idk when im going to do stuff about it but fuck dude like thank god big dogs have shorter lives. jesus. what a fucking travesty #bees personal

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barnabyseyelashes · 2 years

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crewmate’s log

life (?) update

been writing this for a while mentally i guess. really good at just thinking things and not doing them. but an update bc i know i’ve been absent; for some of you longer than others, and i do regret and am sorry for that. i do love and care about you and think about you all even when i am gone, and i hope everyone has been holding on.

i feel like i’m one of the maquis adrift on the voyager, and it has been a long, lonely hard travel. and unfortunately often i feel like a worse person for it.

general c/tw for illness/covid/cancer, IPV, parental death. it is kinda long so feel free to skim/skip as needed.

my spouse and i have very little IRL support, we have been paying over $4k usd a month on rent alone, my mom and sister are the only family i’ve spoken to since december. spouse working full time in thankfully a better job with a shorter commute but having to care full time for me & our elderly ill cat when at home.

and this is probably the sickest i’ve ever been in my life which is saying a lot, considering ive been poisoned by toxic black mold before & have dealt with literally crippling stomach issues previous. ever since november everything has been happening. i slept basically all december, i was too tired to be awake more than 3-5 hours at a time most days. i haven’t even been able to wash my hair or proper shower since. much of december and january i was unable to walk (and i mean literally dragging myself with my arms/using my moms walker as crutches unable to walk) which was a fun new exciting development. thankfully we started to live our current place by then, as our apartment is on the second floor with awful cinder stairs. though we still haven’t moved for real and are stuck paying for it until near may. soooo really uh not jazzed to find out how we will move in the next two months when i still have days i can’t walk. especially since again we basically have no IRL support. i’m doing better at least a little, i’ve started nutrient IV therapy again which is helping even if it’s extremely difficult (and expensive). my stomach is still so fucked up that i can barely eat. it’s so clenched all the time if i have more than like 3 crackers i will have Lead Weight and 6-10 hours of pain :) thank you cannabis literally without her i would not be eating at all. even still i’m belching like a beer hall competitor for hours most days it fucking sucks. the only real progress tho has been that at least i’ve been having a lot fewer panic attacks and less general anxiety now that we are living in our new spot which i’m very grateful for. kinda surprising bc usually if my stomach hurts i have anxiety and often panic so that at least has been a relief. the rest of my brain has been fucking trash garbage tho, nonverbal or partially verbal mostly. multiple meltdowns a week when b4 it was a biannual occurrence. no brain power, lots of autistic rage & ideation. just awful to be & inflict on everyone else. i am sorry for that. it is largely why i shut down at times. i simply fucking have to.

obviously i’ve been too sick to really do anything but spouse and i are deep in our pokémon hole and it’s keeping us good company. lol despite the graphics scvi are pretty good games. writing? character development? in MY pokémon main series game? more likely than you think..

still it’s so bittersweet to be saying sayonara to satoshi shounen, ah ah ahhh i’m gonna cry so hard (already have). but i think the new series will be good. it will just be different.

also i was blessed bc in the first 30 min of playing i caught a shiny mareep, one of my top 6 fave lines and one of my fave shinies. i only caught 1 in pogo and so i was so jazzed. she’s carried us 💖 my beloved deanna (like dddk, not tng)

one of the things that’s also been good is our new living situation, even if its annoying and complicated sometimes to share with other people, i’m glad we are living with my literal oldest friend and the only person from high school i still talk to lol. we have a cottage, bigger than our old one, and even tho it doesn’t have a bathroom, the insulation & windows are shit, it’s been good. & it is under 2k a month, we got a small room in the main house now too so spouse has an office & we have some extra storage. but the best is having space to make a large, productive garden, and my friends 3 ducks and 3 chickens. skip the next part if you don’t wanna see my essay about them LMAO.

and omg gay people, i’ll never not be raising poultry now. bird flu in domestic flock was finally detected in our county this winter, which makes me sweat a bit but fingers crossed we will be ok. my friends ex (who lived here b4 us) did most of the bird care. since i’ve been here tho it’s basically all been me, and of my choice. tricky when i have been sick but truthfully they take about 20 min a day of daily care, and maybe an hour a week of general maitenence. in early autumn when we got here, it was so easy to be outside for hours with them.. no one had ever been able to pet them before. my friend wasn’t even trusted enough to see the duckies swim in their pool while she was in the yard! nowadays the two nonskittish ducks are happy to pop in there even if i’m in the splash zone 🤣 i’m awful i do love the ducks best because they are sweet, simple creatures who know what’s good in life (treats, bodies of water, naps, frequent loud gay sex) while the chickens are a bit mean 😭 i still haven’t resolved the pecking order issues (the lowest chicken, emma [cream legbar], always beats up on the nervous duck, lydia [ancona]) but hopefully in summer i’ll be able to help shift that. kitty (brown khaki campbell) & jane (silver welsh harlequin) are very well trained to “cmere” and eat readily (jane, too readily..) from my hand. the dominant chickens, boss lady/lizzie (black ameraucana supposably) & eleanor (grey lace silverruds blå) will do the same but they aren’t quite as good at the recall lol. i’ve been reading on raising them all, working on gentling them, and enriching their lives.. i love it. they have really helped me, especially kitty. she is very special. she is the smallest but she lays the hugest fucking eggs, and since mid autum it’s been DAILY. like lord girl you gotta stop and moult eventually your feathers are so tatty. spouse has breakfast every day now though. i’m allergic to eggs so 😂 oh well. they’re great fun to raise regardless. (i’ve even recently gotten skittish lydia to eat worms from my hand, so i’ve officially touched them all!!)

anyway i could talk about my beloved birds for fuckin ever obviously lol but i also wanna write about my family a bit too, bc so much has happened. tw covid , IPV , cancer

i may have had covid in summer/early fall but my mom and sis got it for real, both of them in december/january. i don’t remember which. my mom got hers likely from the hospital cuz her ONCOLOGIST told her to get her mri there instead of the specialty mri clinic :) which is nice. my mom has lymphoma as well as several autoimmune diseases and pretty severe mental illness. she has been sick in and off since. she is sick rn & i am missing this weeks IV because of that. so shout out to california removing mask requirements in healthcare settings as of april 🤮👍

my sister got hers from her shitty ex bf. that man supported her while she dealt with numerous health issues and surgeries in.. 2020..1? 21 i think. idk. maybe both. he supported her thru the hell that the last year was. up until last month when he fucking attacked her over a disagreement about a LITTER BOX. literally grabbed her , held her, and dumped dirty cat litter box over her head then destroyed the box with a huge chefs knife. bc that’s a really normal response. my sister had to call the cops. she’s gonna get a restraining order against him and his fucked up parents. but now she’s out she’s realized he had been abusing her verbally & emotionally like their whole relationship. 💔 i’m just so glad she fucking survived and he didn’t do worse, good god. she has been staying in our apartment most of the winter bc covid and now until she can get her own place so even tho we are hemmoraghing money on that shithole, at least it’s useful.. bc lol my moms husband literally told my sister “well in your bfs defense, any guy would react like that to a woman behaving like that” LIKE UM? NO?!??!? so she isn’t comfortable being there. spouse and i never felt safe around that man and it is a large reason we moved from my cottage at my moms to my dads place to begin with. so at least we have officially broken off any relationship to that trash man which is great but my mom won’t leave him so i have to just make my peace that disease will take her if he doesn’t someday. fun stuff.

tw parental death

also cool and fun things happening lately is that this saturday it will have been a year since my fathers physical form drew breath. to say this last 15 or so months have sucked shit is the biggest understatement ever. my aunt currently has like two days to settle his estate; yes she still has a large proportion of my sister & my inheritance. no i haven’t seen or spoken to her since my grandpas funeral in september but i’m the “child of her heart” like ok. & my da had a reverse mortgage on our home of 20 years, and they forced us to sell it within a few months instead of the 12 legally we were allowed. that move was absolute hell. and i had to spend 8k on movers just for some of them to 1% ass it; they literally broke multiple peices of my dads ceramic artworks bc i tried and tried to get people to help me pack them but no one but my mom did. she couldn’t manage them all. it’s hard to forgive myself. it’s so fucking enourmous to bear the weight of knowing i have to be the one who cares for and maintaines his body of work, at least the bulk of it. god that fucker i’m still mad he gave away my favourite bowl to a goddamn woman he met at the pool LMFAO classic mike manoeuvre. one of his brothers took the fish vase i wanted too.. and the vase that matches the one he was throwing when my moms water broke with me. if it was steve i forgive you because my uncle steve also is dying of bladder cancer rn (da had multiple myeloma, diagnosed 2016) and i feel shit for not speaking with him for months but. illness. larry you’re on thin ice, hugh if it was you i’ll kill you myself 🔪 same for you mary especially cuz u actually knew i wanted that shit.

dads bday was literally in january but did any one of those bitches text me? no. did any of his friends text me? no. tbf i can barely respond to texts but like still.. i feel bad i haven’t seen or called my grandma but also. illness! been nonverbal most days! so like 🥲 everyone else has their grief too i get it but lol to have everyone say “we will be there for you” and for literally no one to be seen its very hurtful. at least one of his friends text me to check in on me and my sister yday. but it really truly feels like no one gives a shit. and with my moms lack of health i’m having to prepare to be an orphan within 5 years.

my sister bought a star for him months ago in some registry. i didn’t have the heart to tell her that it was near meaningless, these registries aren’t anything, no one can own these things. but on clear nights i still look off the leading edge of the plow into whatever near nothingness that faint light is coming from, adrift in emptiness.

———

anyways that’s pretty much all from me. (is it enough LOL. happy saturn return with saturn in sideral aquarius. in my 1H too 😩) as i get better i will be getting back slowly into discord and shit, i’ve literally just been too exhausted and unable to function. some of yiz have known abt some of this, but mostly my main acct tweeps & tumblr muts haven’t, so i just figured i would write this, and maybe it would help me in some way. hopefully i’ll be back on tumblr soon too, i literally just can’t use it with our internet (and lack of) here lmfao. i’ll slowly be getting this out to my e-circles as i have energy in the next days.

sending love to you all in pawsitivity discord; yuri horse club, gabriel, kurt & folks from tumblr; and all the rest of yiz. (i don’t mean to forget or omit anyone, honest). i hate that illness & shit has kept me from you. the last year has taught me well to value the time we have and it is not guaranteed. i love you all, i miss you, and i am wishing you well. i am hoping to reconnect soon. beannachtaí 💚💙💜

#tw for fun stuff like covid cancer parental death IPV / domestic violence #u know the usual grab bag of things 😩#🖋🦓#🖋️🦓

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p-taryn-dactyl · 2 years

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15, 28, 43, 57, 62!

hi!!!

15: favorite book you’ve read as a school assignment?

A List of Cages by robin roe was during the summer before my freshman year of high school, a while back, and I remember annotating it, loving the plot, enjoying the assignment which was to take notes and annotate the pages if the book was our personal one and then we…didn’t do anything with it except a handout that said “did you do the reading?” with checkboxes labeled yes and no. I was so disappointed but I remember loving that book. There’s also Brain On Fire by Susannah Cahalan, which is just an amazing true story (the movie is ok but the book is just *chefs kiss*. I’m actually using it in my final project in my psychology course this year!!

28: five songs to describe you?

Damn. This is a hard one….i had to consult the counsel (my group chat) for guidance [edit: some were helpful…others weren’t] [another edit: i did take a few quizzes to find what songs describe me bc i was thinking of songs that i associated with me and idk if thats what this meant lol, can you tell i overthink things?]

no body, no crime by taylor swift

better than revenge by taylor swift

dear reader by taylor swift

human by gabrielle aplin

hi, it’s me by ashnikko (but I’m the best friend)

Ik it was mostly TS but i listen to her a lot so

43: hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket, or bomber jacket?

once upon a time i was recognized by the oversized jean jacket that i wore…not anymore. I love cardigans and leather jackets buttt i have the soul of an elderly librarian so definitively cardigan. (I love librarians, my Grammy was a librarian and she’s the best)

57: the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Coming out to myself. I actually came out to my friends before myself, which sounds weird but hold on. I knew i was queer so i told them, the ones i was comfortable with, about my sexuality. But i wasn’t in full terms with it. I grew up very religious and the way my church and family spoke about homosexuality just made me feel like an outcast. Thankfully, I’m proud of who i am today and while I’m terrified of the day I come out to my family, i know i can make it through the tough times if they come

My belief in god isn’t a struggle per se but i much prefer my relationship with them today than my past relationship with them. In the past i was a nightmare, just a total bitch and even though ik today it was because of how i was raised and what i absorbed and all the internalized homophobia, i still know it’s not an excuse to unlearn all my taught hatred so I’m pretty proud to say that i am a much, much better person today ✨character growth✨

My fear of death. While i haven’t completely overcome this, ive come to better terms with the fact that one day i will die and the only thing i can do is live life to the fullest and just live, not to force myself into a box of what i have to do but just enjoy being alive while i am. My new fear however is the ocean, just being alone in the middle of the sea, no boat just me…my heart beat very fast as I typed that

62: seven characters you relate to?

Percy Jackson. I have neither ADHD or dyslexia but i do wear my sarcasm and humor as my shield. Also, i just feel like he would be such a good friend and compliment to my personality

Tony stark. I do have anxiety and depression but i am not a billionaire or genius. I just get him, ya know? I can easily put myself in his place and see his thought process.

Daniel Jackson. Huge history nerd over here and he’s just the best, i love him

harry potter…my man is way too underrated for the main character. Same thing as tony, i just feel connected to his character

yelena belova. Idk why but i just feel like she’s what i could be if i was put in her situations ya know

alec lightwood, i too am a disaster gay and would be speechless at the sight of magnus bane

Nebula. I know what it’s like to be overlooked and forgotten but thankfully, like nebula, ive a found family that sees me

Thank you so much!!! I’m sorry my answers were so long lol 😅

#aparticularbandit #taryn answers asks #thanks for the ask!

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nanalikessurveys · 2 years

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What does your mother do for work? If she’s a homemaker, any specific reason for this? She’s a nurse for the elderly.

What about your father? What does he do? I’m not 100% sure how his occupation would be called but he’s an engineer and he works with computers.

How do you like your coffee? With milk.

If you’re of age, what’s your favourite alcoholic drink? I don’t like drinking alcohol usually. But I might drink red wine every once in a a while.

Do you smoke? If so, did you start when you were 18 or were you younger? No I don’t smoke.

Did your parents approve of your smoking/alcohol use before you turned 18? I didn’t drink before I turned 18. I did try cigarettes a few times when I was like 16 but my parents didn’t know about it and they still don’t lol.

Do you have siblings? If not, skip the next few questions. I have a sister.

Are you eldest, in the middle or youngest? I'm the youngest.

How big an age gap is between you and your siblings? She’s 5 years older.

Do/did your siblings cause trouble? No, she never did.

If your siblings are old enough, what do they do for work? She’s on disability pension, she has autism and a mild intellectual disability which makes her unable to work normal jobs. But she is an artist and has sold many of her art pieces actually.

Have you ever been jealous of your siblings? Not jealous in a negative way but I’ve been envious of her artistic skills for example.

Do you still live with your parent/s or do you live alone/with a partner? No, I live alone (with my cats).

What do you think about growing up? Most of the time I miss being a kid tbh.

What about having responsibilities? :(

Do you know how to cook? If so, what’s your favourite thing to cook? What about baking? I like cooking pasta. Also some casseroles every now and then. I bake rarely but I like that too.

Do you ever drink tea? Yeah sometimes. I like Earl Grey and green tea.

Have you ever followed any of these fad diets that go around? No.

What do you usually order at your favourite restaurant? At this local diner, I like their chicken burger with goat cheese. It’s sooo good.

Do you prefer a proper restaurant to a fast food place? Proper restaurant if I’m going to eat there. If I’m craving takeout then I’d pick fast food.

Is there an arcade anywhere near where you live? I don’t think so.

Have you ever played pinball? If so, an actual machine or on a computer? Yes, both.

What’s your dream vehicle? What about your dream house? I don’t have a dream vehicle. I don’t think I have a dream house either.

What is the biggest dream of your life? To graduate and have a partner one day.

If you could travel to another country right now, where would you go? Iceland.

What is a country you’d never ever visit? Visiting North Korea would freak me out tbh.

Are you good at taking care of your finances? I think so.

Have you ever had any trouble paying your bills? What about your rent? Not that I couldn’t pay them but I have a bad memory and I sometimes forget to pay on time :(

What do you think is the best thing about being an adult? What about the worst?

Worst part is all the responsibilities you have. Best part would be the fact that I can make my own choices and get to live on my own.

Is there a person in your life, who wastes their life somehow? No.

What is something you need to do, but you keep postponing it? Make a dentist appointment.

Do you think life should just hand things to you? Or should you earn the things you want and need with hard work? It definitely seems like the best option on my lazy days. But in the end that’s not how it should go. It doesn’t teach you anything, it doesn’t make you grow as a person.

Would you rather live off government benefits or earn your own money? I get assistance from the government right now but I can’t wait to make my own money.

When you take a survey, do you skip questions? If so, what kinds of questions? Rarely but if I do, it’s because I just don’t feel like elaborating too much etc.

What type of a survey do you skip altogether? Bolding surveys but I’d like to start taking those too.

Why, do you think, people write lyrics as the title for a survey? Because they want to have a title and maybe have a lyric playing in their head.

If you have a Facebook, what do you use it for? I don’t have it.

If you have a Twitter, what do you use it for? I don’t have that either.

If you have a Tumblr, what do you use it for? Taking surveys.

If you have an iPhone, why? I don’t have an iPhone.

If you have an iPad, why? Or and iPad.

If you have the latest electronic gadgets, did you pay for them yourself? I don’t think I have the latest gadgets. But I do pay for my stuff myself.

Do you always put your litter in a trashcan? Yes and I can’t stand people who casually litter.

When you walk/ride your bike/drive your car, are you careful? I wouldn’t say I’m super careful when I walk since I tend to get lost in my thoughts while walking. If I was driving I would definitely try to be really careful.

What is the rudest thing a person could do or say to you? Have you ever been that rude to someone else? I don’t know what would be the rudest thing.

Do you think your parents are proud of you and what you do with your life? I hope they are. But honestly I don’t think I’ve done that much. I mean I’m in university right now which is something I’ve never thought I could achieve but I still feel behind in life for some reason.

Which would you rather be, famous or a “nobody”? Why? I’d rather be neither of these but if I absolutely had to choose I’d pick being a nobody because being famous would be too much for me.

Do you need to have the latest fashion in clothes and accessories? No.

If you have a job, do you get along with your co-workers? I don’t have a job now.

What kind of hobbies do you have? Would anything in the whole world make you give up any of those hobbies? Painting, drawing, dancing. I don’t want to give up these hobbies.

Have you had/do you have any pets? I have two cats.

If you aren’t already, would you ever get married? Maybe.

#survey #surveys

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molinaskies · 3 years

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On Sonic’s Emotional Characterization – A Thought Experiment on Sonic's Parentification

Treat this as a sequel to my last essay, which you can find here. No pressure - you can read this stand-alone, but the context certainly helps. Plus, I think it’s a good read (but, of course, I might be biased lol).

Both of these are long, so buckle up!

Ever since writing my last essay on the topic, Sonic’s emotional characterization has been making the rounds in my head. The more I think about it, the more impressed I am with the emotional nuance Sonic Team has woven into this blue rodent. As a student of Sociology and Humanities, I’ve noticed a lot of interesting facets of Sonic’s character align with the literature of parentification – the acting of a child as a parental figure to someone else – and self-parenting. While I doubt this was intentional on the part of Sonic Team, it’s an interesting thought exercise for me to see how Sonic’s personality remains consistent with those in similar circumstances.

Psychologist Lindsay C. Gibson’s Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents is a self-help book of sorts, written to help those emotionally neglected in childhood cope with their feelings in the present; Gibson showcases the different kinds of adults that these children might grow into, different kinds of emotionally immature parents, and how adults can learn to healthily process their emotions. In the book’s first chapter, she shares real-world examples of emotionally neglected adults that she’s worked with within her clinic. Below is an excerpt from the chapter, titled “Natalie’s Story.” The emphasis is mine:

Natalie, fifty, an award-winning business consultant, was an emotionally neglected child who nevertheless created a rewarding adult life for herself both personally and professionally. Unfortunately, the emotional neglect she experienced as a child still haunts her in the form of dreams, which she described like this:

“I have recurring nightmares with the same theme. I’m in a desperate situation that I can’t get out of. I’m trying frantically to find a solution, a way out. Different roads, different keys, different doors – none of them are a solution. I’m all alone, and there’s only me trying to solve the problem; there’s no one else. Lots of times I’m responsible for other people who are watching and waiting for me to fix everything, but here they give me no help. There is no comfort to be found. I have no protection and I’m not safe. Then I wake up and my heart is racing.”

Natalie’s dream captures what it feels like to be emotionally alone. She has to deal with everything by herself and doesn’t consider asking anyone for help. This is how children of emotionally immature parents feel. Their parents may technically be present, but they offer little help, protection, or comfort.

In her family life, Natalie still takes care of her elderly mother, who lives with Natalie and her husband and kids. But no matter how much Natalie does, her mother still complains that Natalie has never loved her or helped her enough. Since childhood, Natalie has felt the responsibility for her mother’s emotional state. Meanwhile, Natalie was on her own because her mother wasn’t a person she could turn to. Children like Natalie often grow up as little adults, helping their parents, giving them no trouble, and appearing to need practically nothing. These capable kids may seem like they can parent themselves, but they can’t. No child can. They just learn to cling to whatever emotional scraps they get because any connection is better than none at all.

Yet, who would guess Natalie’s early insecurities as she strides into meetings, all business in her impeccable suits? She has a good marriage, successful children, and close friendships. She knows how to relate to people from all walks of life, and her emotional intelligence is off the charts. Natalie’s dreams pull back the curtain to reveal the emotional loneliness that remains within her. Despite creating a fulfilling adult life, inside she remains vulnerable to anxieties about being alone and unsupported. Not until she was nearly fifty did she begin to understand how her relationship with her mother fueled her underlying feelings of anxiety. That was one of the most meaningful discoveries of her life. Finally, she saw the reason for those nightmares.

While there are obvious differences between Natalie’s story and Sonic’s history (unless there’s some serious canon lore I’ve never heard of), a lot of Natalie’s feelings, anxieties, and experiences transfer well to Sonic given his distinct lack of parental figures, heightened tenfold by the fact that he’s taken up the primary role as world saviour, protector of all.

Parentification of a child often occurs in the case of permissive, neglectful, or in Sonic’s case, absentee parents. He’s been alone for likely a long time before the start of the series, likely coping with emotions for years by himself. Further, remember that everyone is strikingly young in this franchise (the oldest characters with confirmed ages, Vector, Big, and Rouge, are only 20 and 18, respectively), and members of our core cast are proper children. Regardless of their capabilities, these characters still need to be cared for to a degree and have a lot of vulnerabilities.

Tails, 8:

Boy genius or not, Tails has attitude and confidence problems and frequently second-guesses himself. He’s also known to easily allow extreme stress, fear, insecurity, and sadness to overwhelm him. He benefits from Sonic’s brotherhood more than Sonic’s pure friendship.

Sonic Lost World (I’m so sorry but it counts): Tails struggles to accept Eggman’s partnership because he feels that Sonic doesn’t trust him to handle things. This feeling isn’t invalid on the part of Tails (as we see later that Eggman wasn’t all that necessary and planned to double-cross Sonic and Tails anyway), but any shift in Tails’ dynamic with Sonic proves to upset him.

IDW Metal Virus arc: again, not unjustified, but Tails becomes inconsolable multiple times throughout the arc. Tails’ reactions to awful circumstances are a lot more emotional, public, and prominent compared to other characters like Amy and Espio (who both hit extreme lows but never let that show to the crowd for too long), but this is by design because of Tails’ age.

Cream, 6:

Cream, without a doubt, is the most innocent, naïve, and sheltered character in the series, partially due to the presence of her mother, Vanilla. Not a bad thing, at all, and it doesn’t make Cream a bad character or any less of a hero – she just exists to contrast our more hardened characters. While Sonic doesn’t act as a primary caregiver for Cream, he talks to her how you’d expect an adult to talk to a child: not patronizingly (I’m talking good adults, folks), but at a level and with a syntax she can understand.

IDW 18: Sonic masters a balance between establishing stakes but keeping calm in the face of adversity, and he does this for Cream to give her the confidence and strength to act. He runs into the scene angry and annoyed with the circumstances, but the second he sees Cream and Vanilla in danger, he doesn’t even consider letting that show. We see his persona reset for a moment after Cream flies away (showing again that he knows when he needs to perform), and what he says truly solidifies the stance he takes with Cream (and it’s beautiful).

Conversely, Sonic seems more “authentic” and willing to show vulnerability (barely and comparatively) to his older friends and comrades, but of course, he still holds himself back. Here, he’s prone to show more aggression and holds a sassier tone. Neither side of Sonic is a bad one, but I feel it’s important to understand that multiple sides do exist.

Amy, 12:

Despite her age, Amy proves wise beyond her years and has proven that to Sonic many times. I’ve seen arguments that the relationship that Sonic has with Amy is familial in nature, but the conversations we see them carry and the tone Sonic takes with her in a casual setting is fundamentally different from his tone with Tails. What’s more, while she’s not immune to being overwhelmed and blinding fury, she hides and copes with extreme stress a lot better than others.

Metal Virus: Amy’s lowest points are always expressed while she’s alone or, in the few minutes she ever had time, to Sonic. Amy’s the character to process her darker emotions alone and will only admit to them and show vulnerability when she’s mostly over the dark moment in question. She’s excited for Jewel to take over the resistance efforts, but she remains bubbly and playful in her conduct through this admittance of vulnerability – it’s a more mature way of looking at things.

Sonic Adventure 2: Amy puts her personal grievances of being relegated to “resident cheerleader” aside to step up and confront Shadow, which turns out to be the single saving grace the team needed to stop the ARK.

IDW 35 showcases the same mentality when Amy fights Clutch’s robot. In general, Amy’s instincts to stress are to “suck it up” to play the hero because she objectively knows she can.

Amy’s personality (and her ability to insert herself into Sonic’s head and emotions) makes her a strong candidate for someone he can talk to more neutrally. I encourage you to read IDW 2 and 15 (where Sonic and Amy are alone) and compare that to IDW 37-40 (where Tails is actively present). I think the difference in tone (regardless of the different writers) is evident and interesting; in one, Sonic’s a partner and in another, Sonic’s the leader. For now, here are some snippets:

Knuckles, 16:

Sonic and Knuckles’ friendship has always been chummy, rival, and playful in nature. When they’re together, it’s always business and mutual respect. Such a random and insignificant detail from Sonic X episode 73 is that Sonic stays up into the night with Knuckles – kind of reminds me of “adult time” and that just makes me laugh a bit.

Shadow, ambiguous, in my honest opinion, but you know what I mean:

It’s hard to include Shadow here as a friend, but he’s important to note as Sonic views him as, if nothing else, an equal to whom he needs to justify himself. The two are often at odds, and while Sonic’s plot armour allows him to prevail almost every time, it’s never at the outright disregard or slander of Shadow’s opinion.

While Sonic trusts all his friends equally to be safe, make smart choices, fight alongside him at times, and to be good friends to him, Sonic’s inherent approach to younger characters illustrates a strong sense of parentification. With older characters, his tone matures, and he seems more willing to hash things out with them – his first instinct with them isn’t to motivate and play “cool big brother.” Sonic demonstrates parental characteristics and feels a need and desire to be a family member in addition to a friend. Parentified children hardwire themselves to look after others before, and often at the complete expense of, themselves, and this trait is a defining factor of Sonic’s toward all his friends – objectively for a second, Sonic is extremely protective.

Let’s bring this parentification back into the frame of emotional neglect and compare the overlap between Natalie and Sonic:

Sonic’s heightened emotional intelligence as a result of not being able to offload feelings and having developed high self-awareness.

Sonic is highly independent and self-parents, leading to somewhat of an inability to rely on others for physical and emotional comfort on a daily basis.

Sonic shows discomfort in opening up about his feelings, as well as asking for and accepting emotional affection and help.

NOTE: Sonic isn’t always above asking for help when there are people readily available and the stakes aren’t super high (combo attacks, the entirety of Sonic Heroes, Sonic Forces (yeah, I’m shocked too)).

Sonic’s always been in a position of power, authority, or a caregiver/protector of someone/something (his friends and the world).

Sonic is more inclined to handle things on his own when he doesn’t already have allies, going to far as to push possible allies away as an instinct to protect them, such as when he tells Chip to run during the climax of Sonic Unleashed and when he pushes Tails into an evacuation shuttle before the final boss of Sonic Colours. Often, even when his friends are present, Sonic tends to handle Eggman and other threats independently – how often does he ask for help versus when it’s assumed or offered to him?

Sonic is more complicated of a character than we give him credit for. He's nuanced in personality, emotionally intelligent, and reeling from the effects of his responsibilities. It's nice to see real-world applications of this hedgehog's personality - it makes him feel more three-dimensional and justified.

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apiscircensis · 3 years

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ok so here’s the first of the ocs

"Are you prepared for what's next?”

Morgan Heerser 🦑 bio under the cut (wall of text ahead)

Biographical Information Gender : Male (Squid merman) Age: 18 Birthday: February 28 Star sign: Pisces Height: 168cm Eye Color: Ice Blue Hair Color: Seafoam Green Family: Grandmother, Mother

Professional Status Dorm: Octavinelle School Year: Third Occupation: Student Club: Board Game Club Best Subject: Magic History

Fun Facts Dominant Hand: Ambidextrous Favorite Food: Shrimp, pastries Least Favorite Food: Stale bread Dislikes: Liars Hobby: Gambling Talents: Playing the piano

Personality

He’s gloomy, distant, and temperamental and is perfectly willing to demonstrate it. He has little patience for incompetence and becomes angry easily when people get on his nerves. He values loyalty and a strong will.

Though he was knowledgeable about it, he had no actual experience with life on land before coming to the NRC, and his human body can be a bit frail. His true merman form however is massive and incredibly strong.

Despite being a reclusive loner, he’s also a hopeless romantic. He’s an avid reader of poetry and lover of music. Though he would never admit it, he yearns to one day find a love as strong and vast as the sea itself.

Inspired on Davy Jones (Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest)

Biographical Info

- Morgan was homeschooled by his very elderly grandma and absent party mom. They're both very intelligent women and powerful witches. Mom is very loving but just too much of a free spirit to commit to the life of a single mother so she leaves often, sometimes for days at a time. Morgan doesn't resent her for her absences, but does wish she had been around more often while he was growing up. Grandma is more strict but not at all restrictive. She is very well educated and knowledgeable in general, and tells interesting stories, but is just too old to be fun to be around lol

- His family lives past the outskirts of the nearest town , and even in town there aren’t many children so he’s mostly interacted with adults throughout his life. There are a few people in his hometown that he has good relationships with, but in general children and adults alike tend to find him a bit creepy so they avoid him a little. He's reclusive by nature so he's never cared much.

- Despite that, it is known that he is a powerful being and mage just like his mom and grandma, so he has had his run-ins with people wanting to use that for their own benefit, which has made him generally weary of others' intentions. He hates being lied to.

Trivia

- Morgan was an infinitely curious child and would spend most of his free time either exploring the deep sea or educating himself on anything he could about the world at large, from history of any given country, to science, to shitty popular media. He recognizes there's still much he doesn't know, mainly in regards to common things like sports, entertainment, technology and such (as those things move really fast) but he's never afraid to ask "stupid" questions.

- Aside from being an intensely lonely child with too much time and easy access to bad romance novels and couples’ mementos found at shipwrecks, his love for love comes from his fondest childhood memories being of the time he would spend with his mom being told countless stories, legends, and songs, all of them ultimately revolving around love.

- It was at one of said shipwrecks that he found the piano he learned to play on. He told his grandmother about it and she enchanted it so he could play it underwater. She also taught him the basics of musical theory, but Morgan mostly taught himself to play by ear through trial and error (Grandma, also being a weary, reclusive loner has always been more content to have Morgan exploring the depths alone than mingling with people, so she was pleased at this development).

- He never really had any intention of visiting the surface world until the possibility of studying at NRC came up. He's undecided about what he wants to do next because he's still very much a reclusive loner lol, but at the same time his previous life seems a bit too quiet to him now.- The hardest part of adapting to school life for him has been the sheer amount of people he's made to exist around at all times.

- He originally intended to join the Pop Music Club, that is until he found out it was actually just chill & chat hour for the extroverts lolol. He'll still play with them if they invite him to tho, and occasionally plays at the Mostro Lounge as well.

- Despite being rather antisocial he has good people skills that he uses to get what he wants out of others. This includes sweet talking Heartslabyul students into inviting him to their tea parties (he has put on a bit of weight since he came to school lol (not that he cares)).

- He loves trinkets as much as the next merfolk but is content with just looking at them. He’s fascinated by Jacob's bottled ships, but not so much the snow globes. He absolutely despises those tacky feathers Blake wears on his hat.

- He struggles with chronic leg pain. It’s a bit of a mystery what exactly causes this but the working theory is that some ingredient in the potion that allows him to take human form may not fully agree with his body. He has been doing research with Prof. Crewel to figure out what’s up with him and how to fix it, and has sort of unwittingly become a case study for Pomefiore students interested in the field. He’s careful to not overexert himself and manages fine most of the time but it’s not rare to see him using his cane in the late hours. However, one too many flights of stairs or a particularly heavy PE class can have him miserably limping his way through campus the rest of the day. He keeps his discomfort to himself, but it's known that he becomes more temperamental when he's in pain. Generally he gets better with rest but sometimes Jacob will offer to massage his legs for him if he notices him being particularly sulky.

Morgan was the second character of this batch that I thought up and the first I designed. I wanted to give him something of a frail appearance, with a bit of a “young master” vibe, because I like the idea of a character that seems unassuming at first glance but is actually fearsome and imposing.

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland oc #twst oc #octavinelle #Morgan Heerser #artsyness

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spacecadetal · 4 years

Text

fireworks

kakashi hatake/fem!reader

word count: 2774 warnings: descriptions of violence, descriptions of blood, descriptions of killing, alcohol use author notes: i wanted to write something a little different than i usually would i kinda got a little tired of my wips lol

the first time i saw him, i was eight years old with a shy curiosity about the world. long story short, his shoulder collided with my own. he wasn’t watching where he was going and neither was i, the hard jolt gave me such a fright that i yelled at him to watch where he was going. i had too much pride to admit i was at fault, lost in a daydream once again. he shared my reaction and my sentiment. saying i should watch myself too with great annoyance in his tone. i scoffed, he huffed, we went our separate ways.

i had always heard his name but never connected the dots until i was much older but still not much wiser. he was a prodigy, i was painfully just above average. as a bright eyed genin, i was out in the world and only starting to understand the true meaning of the path i chose at the naive age of six. his squad was babysitting my own on a mission. his mentor stands next to mine and introduces us and my face sours immediately. unlike him i don’t have a mask to hide it. he avoids me for the whole mission but his teammates are nice.

his red eye was making waves around the world, he was a myth and enemies across the land waited in anticipation for the day to come where they could finally see it in the flesh. great gain had come with great loss, i’m sure he wishes the second hand eye was back with its original owner. i remember the first time i saw him lift up his headband and expose it to the world. the blood red eye and it’s black swirls, chills shoot down my spine like pins and needles. engaging with an enemy was pure violence, animalistic and messy yet he made it seem so graceful.

the pines and the dark forest disappear before my eyes; now he stands on a wooden stage with his foe, dancing under a spotlight. every dodge and weave is smooth and flawless. his strikes felt as natural and as quick as a snake striking at its prey. i watch his performance with a disregard for my own safety and when the last of our enemies hit the dirt, i wait for him to bow. instead he shakes the blood off his kunai and the famous eye is tucked away under his headband. i think i fell in love with him that afternoon.

the girl who died, her name was rin and that one time her team babysat mine, she braided my hair by a campfire and said i had a pretty name. she didn't deserve to die. they whisper about him when he walks by, terrible nasty things. but i smile at him, wave to him when i see him and hope it makes him feel less alone in the world. he sees it and he averts his gaze without reply or acknowledgement. rejection makes my chest tighten, if only slightly. naturally i assume he doesn’t like me, maybe he doesn’t like anyone.

i'm in a village with my squad for a mission, it’s small but the green tea in the wooden cup and the smell of rabbit stew on the stovetop makes me feel at home. the excited teenage boy asks me about the things i've seen. the only thing he knows is chopping wood and shearing sheep. he asks me about a rumour he’s heard by a traveller about the boy that conjures lightning in his hand, he asks me if i've seen it before in the flesh. i smile and nod and confirm that i have. he asks me to describe it. i don't know how to at first.

first, you hear the static snapping and popping and it captures your attention instantly. then the pale blue light grows bigger and bigger in his hand, it takes on a life of its own and i won’t lie and say that it doesn’t make my heart beat out of my chest but he tames it like a wild beast, he has complete control. if you stand off to the side, you can watch the show. lightning surrounds him but he is never burnt. he’s like a god when he strikes, i've never seen something so terrifying but beautiful. he's beautiful. but i don’t tell the teenage boy that and i dont tell him that sometimes the loud crackle of his chidori haunts me when im alone.

when i'm a chunnin, i feel much older than i am. it's not due to the title of my rank but because i keep plunging my kunai into grown men’s hearts and have to pretend it doesn’t faze me to see blood squirting from punctured arteries. i don't see him around the village much anymore. he lives in the darkness, in the shadows but sometimes he comes out into the light. he's grown so much older and taller and i think he looks handsome in his gear. toned arms and biceps and that tattoo on his left upper arm, the one that tells the world where his loyalties lie. walking past him, i prepare to feel the chill of his icy demeanor but i say his name, wave and smile. the only one of his eyes that sees the world widens and the veins of his arms bulge at my greeting, i can’t see his hands because they’re stuffed in his pockets. he always looks away but this time, for the smallest of seconds, he nods in my direction and then he is gone.

when the nine tailed beast attacks the village, i am kept away from the battle in a forest with the rest of the ninja around my age. he’s there, standing by his friend who talks and talks. i like his friend, he always greets me with enthusiasm. i try to ignore the sounds of my village being destroyed and the screams of the unfortunate dying people as i am powerless to do anything. my eyes move on their own in his direction only to find he has the same idea. for a moment, air leaves my lungs and i nod politely before i look away. his eyes meet mine one, two, three times. that night my home was buried under a mountain of rock and rubble and he lost the last person that knew the true extent of the damage this world had inflicted on him.

the elderly lady at the stall with the hair clips told me i've grown into a beautiful young lady and i blush at her comment and insist it isn’t so. she tells me i must have a lot of boys' attention and i buy the deep blue hair clip with the faux sapphire gem. it stands out in my dark hair. it's been a long time since my house was crushed and a long time since he’s sat in the dango store with his friends but here’s there when i walk by. the compliment has me on cloud nine and i'm glad he’s not alone anymore. i smile at the group, say ‘ hey guys ’ and wave. for a millisecond my eye catches his as i'm walking by and my mind plays tricks on me. i think i see his cheeks tinge red.

kurenai came up to me one summer's morning and asked if i was attending the festival. i told her i was but likely alone. maybe i wasn’t such a pretty girl, no fish ever nibbled on the hook of the fishing pole i cast into the waters. her boyfriend looked bored as we spoke and her crimson eyes smile when she brings up the boy with the silver hair’s name, pretending she doesn’t notice my breath hitch for the slightest of moments. ‘ you should ask him, he’s not going with anyone either ’ she tells me and then she drags her boyfriend away. i sit alone on the cliffs for an hour thinking it through, my knees up to my chin as i wonder why she would suggest such a thing. iwashi is pissed that i'm twenty minutes late to meet up with them.

his group joins up with mine hours later and i greet him as i always do. he stands off to the side and plays with his hands and every time i catch his eye he looks as if he wants to say something to me. they say love feels like butterflies but when my eyes meets his, those butterflies turn into angry bees. i want to say something to him too, ask him where his friend got the idea that i should ask him to go with me but the bees within me sting and their venom prevents me from opening my mouth. i avert my gaze and pretend to listen to genma when he talks about his favourite order of ramen.

we all part ways but we’re together again within the hour and i'm waiting nervously at the spot kurenai told me to come back to. my yukata is the colour of lapis and white periwinkles decorate the sleeves and i wonder if i look plain compared to the girls around me dressed in passionate pinks, gentle purples, and bold reds. he doesn’t see me at first but i see him. his yukata is dark grey with light thin stripes and it compliments his bright silver hair wonderfully. it’s the first time i've seen his hair down and his long strands are wild and stick out all over the place, i think i fall in love with him all over again. hes alone and i don’t dare to approach but he finally sees me. he waves, i nod. he's so handsome that i can’t stand to look at him so i don’t.

it’s dark and explosions of many colours light up the sky. i'm so distracted by the loud boom echoing off the hills and the blue, red, white and green lights on a black landscape that i don’t notice he's standing right beside me watching it too. knuckles lightly brush against my own, my chest tightens at the sensation. it’s distracting enough that i tear my eyes away from the sky show. they’re as wide as a possum when i meet his gaze. he doesn’t say anything, he just stares for a moment before he looks back at the fireworks. it was an accident and i forgive and forget but then his fingers awkwardly hook around my own, clinging for dear life. i cannot look, i cannot think nor speak. i hold my breath and blink rapidly while i cling onto his fingers just as tightly. when the fireworks are finished, we consider each other in silence for a minute. his hand leaves mine and we part ways without a word.

every time i see him, i see fireworks and feel the ghost of his fingers wrap around my own. he acknowledges me and we’re rarely left alone around each other; when we are we do not speak of it. we lean against a railing side by side and watch our friends fool around. courageously i say to him that the weather is nice today and he nods in agreement before his friend calls him over. when he leaves my side, his knuckles brush past mine once more. i jump in surprise and tell myself it was another forgivable accident but then he glances back at me as he walks away and i can’t be too sure.

i am frozen still in a shrub waiting for the enemy to pass by. the sound of my heartbeat in my ears is so loud but suddenly it is replaced with the familiar crackle of electricity that haunted my dreams for the longest of times. when i turn around i see a man gasping for life, holding on tightly to the kunai i imagined would have been plunged into the nape of my neck if it wasn’t for the ball of lightning sizzling away in his chest. the man’s body drops to the ground and i finally see him standing there in the man’s place, his lower arm is soaked with blood from the fatal strike. he takes my hand and helps me onto my feet. that famous red eye is hiding behind a porcelain hound mask and he asks me if i'm okay. i assure him i am and thank him, he nods his head in reply and walks away. i don’t mind that he’s left my hand stained with our enemy’s blood.

when i am given the rank of jonin i am months away from being twenty. i’m not allowed to drink just yet but my older friends buy bottles of sake to share in the park and i accept the invitation without giving it much thought. it’s sweet on my tongue and goes down smoothly, the aftertaste reminds me of potatoes for some strange reason i can’t put my finger on. i drink and i drink until half a bottle is gone and my cheeks are red and i laugh too loudly at asuma’s lame jokes. the stars are beautiful tonight but they just look like streaks of light in my blurry vision. i lay in the grass, my head feels light and my stomach slightly churns. out of nowhere he is in my line of sight, standing over me with a touch of concern on the features that aren’t hidden away. he asks me if i'm okay and i say i'm just fine and i think to myself that i'm glad to see him.

when he takes me home, he lectures his friends that i'm too young to get drunk and they reply that i'll be old enough in a couple of months and it doesn’t make that much of a difference. he doesn’t mind my drunken babbling and how my head leans on his shoulder as we walk slowly through the dimly lit streets. his grip around my waist is tight and i try not to say something foolish like the way he fights is a form of art or that i want him to hold my hand again. he drops me off at the door and leaves once i am inside safely. i pass out that night thinking of the ways i want to be his.

i am twenty one when he leaves the anbu and i see him on the streets alone. his nose is in a book and he doesn’t notice as i walk by. i fight the urge to turn around and ask him how he’s going, i’ll be late to meet up with my old squad to train if i do. later when i walk home, i stare off into the distance and think about making dinner and sharpening my collection of kunai when i collide with something hard. i jump out of fright at the impact, ready to snap when two hands land on my shoulders to secure me in place. we’re not kids anymore and he smiles at me and apologises even when i'm at fault. i ask him how he’s been and he says he’s been just fine. he walks me home and we talk about missions and his new role as a squad leader. on my doorstep he says he’ll see me around and then he is gone and i am left greedily wanting more of his time.

one day when we are standing alone he tells me he is in love with me. it is is out of the blue and i brush it off with laugher, telling him he couldn’t possibly be; he takes my hand in his and insists it’s true. he tells me that he has been since the moment i collided with him in the street when he was ten years old. that when the world was unkind to him, i provided enough kindness to keep him going, all in a smile and a greeting. it is everything i have wanted to hear and more. the angry swarm of bees are back and i am stung over and over again. he can tell that i'm paralysed so his lips fall gently onto mine and it allows me to say the things i cannot utter out loud. my eyes are closed and i can see the very same fireworks from the night our fingers touched. when he breaks away from me he says we should get out of here and wordlessly i agree. we walk in the streets of the village and i am unsure of the destination he has in mind. his fingers are wrapped around mine.

#kakashi hatake x reader #kakashi hatake x oc #kakashi hatake imagines #kakashi x reader #my fic #my writing #f

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vs-redemption · 4 years

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Hi, its me! Im sorry for bothering you! How would Bakugou, Aizawa, and Iida react if some random kid, who had their eyes but different hair, who looks homeless and IS homeless, knockef on their door and said 'hey, do you know *insert womans name*? Youre my dad apparently' and it turns iut it was a woman they had a flimg with, who left them, and went on to abusr their kid? Like severely? Its just me projecting lol. Im so sorry have a great day!

A/N: I noticed that @madkaleidoscope got almost the same request while going through the my hero tags, so please check out their post HERE for another take on the same idea.

A Surprise Meeting (Bakugo, Iida, and Aizawa meet their abused child)

You can read the same scenario for Todoroki and Dabi HERE You can read the same scenario for Hawks, Fatgum, and Shigaraki Here

Warning:⚠️Mentions of child abuse and homelessness. Also, swearing for Bakugo!⚠️

Bakugo

“What the hell do you mean they were offended?” Bakugo growls at his manager through the phone propped up on his shoulder as he aggressively chops up vegetables for the stew he was making. “Instead of being grateful that I saved their asses, they decided to file a complaint against me huh?”

The underpaid person on the other end launches into an explanation about why a top ranked pro hero should avoid yelling out expletives while fighting villains in front of a crowd of civilians. Apparently it wasn’t an appropriate way to behave in front of impressionable children and elderly folks. Bakugo rolled his eyes as he continued cooking. He’d heard this spiel a hundred times before. He’d honestly worked hard over the years to improve the way he directly interacted with the innocent people he fought to protect every day, but he couldn’t help but get a little overzealous in the moment when taking down bad guys.

Bakugo clicked his tongue in annoyance when his doorbell suddenly rang. He wiped his hands off on a towel before going to tell off whoever it was that was interrupting his very limited free time. It was bad enough he was already getting an earful from his manger while he was trying to relax. He ripped open the door and felt a hint of surprise when he had to lower his angry red eyes to find the unexpected visitor. It was a little girl.

“What the hell?” Bakugo leaned out of the doorway a bit to look for an adult that might be accompanying the child but she seemed to be all alone. His manager paused their lecture to ask if he was all right. “Yeah, but I’m going to have to call you back,” Bakugo hangs up the phone and looks back at the little girl who was glaring up at him with familiar red eyes. Her long dark hair was dirty and matted. She had scrapes and bruises all over her arms and face.

“Do you need help or something?” Bakugo asks awkwardly as he tries to slip into his comforting hero voice. “Where are your parents?”

“Mommy left and didn’t come back,” the little girl scowls and crosses her arms. She then tells Bakugo her mother’s name, causing the man to freeze up in shock at the implication. “She said you were my daddy.” Bakugo just stands speechless for a few moments as his brain tries to catch up with what he’d just heard. He knew the girl’s mom, but he hadn’t seen her in about four years. They’d had a bit of a summer romance right at the beginning of his hero career before she’d suddenly disappeared, never to be heard from again.

Bakugo lets his eyes scan over the little girl once more. He couldn’t deny she had his eyes and his scowl. He felt irritated that his summer fling hadn’t even had the decency to tell him she’d gotten pregnant. He squats down to look more closely at the dirt and injuries all over the girl’s body.

“Who did this to you?” he asks, trying to keep the gruffness from his voice. Some emotion cracks through the little girl’s false bravado then and she looks down at her bare feet shyly.

“Mommy…” she whispers. Bakugo takes a deep breath to calm the rage that boiled up inside him and offers a hand to the little girl.

“Mommy left me too,” he confesses. “But she’s not going to hurt either of us ever again, okay?” The little girl looks up at her dad, a tentative hope blossoming in her eyes. Bakugo knew this was going to impact his life in a huge way, but at the moment he only cared about getting to know his daughter and making up for lost time. “Are you hungry?” The little girl nods her head eagerly and he leads her into his apartment. He would get her cleaned up and fed before getting started on all the legal stuff he’d undoubtedly have to endure before she could really be his daughter completely. His mind was already coming up with ways to fit parenting into his work schedule though, and he found himself looking forward to spending as much time with his little girl as possible.

Iida

Iida assumed he was going to have another normal morning as he sat at his desk, looking over his patrol route for the day. He’d taken over his family’s hero agency not too long ago, but he was already used to the daily routine. All the experiences he’d lived through during high school, not to mention growing up in a family of heroes, had prepared him for most scenarios he would encounter as a pro. He had no reason to suspect that anything out of the ordinary would happen, even as he heard the knock on his office door.

“Come in,” he calls out while standing up to start putting on his hero costume. The door blasts open and a young girl runs into the room.

“Daddy!” she shouts as she runs right up to him and throws her arms around his waist. Iida looks down at the girl in shock before glancing towards the door where one of his sidekicks stood looking as confused as he felt.

“Sorry for the intrusion,” the sidekick says a bit awkwardly. “One of the interns found her wandering outside. She was asking people to help her find you, her dad.”

Iida wanted to deny the claim immediately. He would definitely know if he had a child, especially one who looked to be around eight years old. The idea became a lot less preposterous as he looked back down at the girl. Her hair color was as white as snow, a complete contrast to his dark blue. The thing that gave him pause were the two legs sticking out from under the dirty skirt the girl was wearing. Her legs looked skinny, too skinny, aside from her calves which had tiny exhaust pipes sticking out of them. The girl looks up at him after a moment to meet his gaze. His breathe catches in his throat at her blue eyes and checkmark shaped eyebrows that were iconic to the Iida family.

“Uh, thank you,” Iida felt flustered as he looks back at his sidekick who was blatantly starting at him in shock. “I’ll handle this from here. Do you mind asking someone to take over my patrol?” The sidekick accepts the job and hurries off, leaving Iida alone with the girl. Part of him felt really embarrassed that this had happened in front of his coworkers. He couldn’t imagine what they must think of him now. He definitely didn’t seem like the type to be involved with something that could be perceived as scandalous.

“What is your mother’s name?” Iida asks, even though he was sure he already knew. The list of possibilities was very small. The little girl goes up on her tiptoes and Iida bends down to meet her so she can whisper in his ear. He sighs heavily at the name that falls from her lips. It was just further confirmation that this wasn’t some crazy misunderstanding. The information settles into his mind. He was a father.

“Please don’t make me go back to her though,” the girl’s eyes brim with tears as she searches Iida’s face for comfort. “She’s scary.” Iida understood how the girl felt. If given the option, he would choose never to see that woman again either. She had only dated him for a brief time, pretending to be in love with him in order to take advantage of his fame until she found someone higher up in the ranks to seduce. He had been so shocked and heart broken when she’d left him so suddenly, but now there was no way to hide from that mistake of his past.

“Why do you say she’s scary?” Iida asks while putting a hand on the girl’s shoulder. She winces and flinches away from his touch. He narrows his eyes in concern and asks her to roll up her sleeves. His heart fills with sadness at the welts marring her frail arms. “I see,” he frowns. “I promise you won’t have to see her again if you don’t want to, but can you tell me where she lives?”

“I don’t know. We always have to sleep outside,” the girl explains warily, painting a rather sad image of her life.

“Well that just won’t do,” he pats her on the head. “I’m going to make sure you have a comfy, warm bed to sleep in from now on.” The girl’s face lights up happily and she hugs Iida even tighter. The shame he’d felt initially was gone now, replaced by a determination to provide his daughter with the best life possible.

Aizawa

Between all his hero work and being a full time teacher, Aizawa’s opportunities to simply sleep for a couple consecutive hours were few and far between. He took any chance he could to just shut his eyes and rest for a while. Tonight he’d hoped to get a decent amount of sleep in before having to wake up at the crack of dawn to attend a UA staff meeting. However, it seemed fate had other plans for him.

It was around one in the morning when a knock on his front door pulled him from the depths of his much needed slumber. He rubbed the exhaustion from his eyes as he rolled out of bed, not even having the energy to be annoyed. “Who is it?” He asks while putting on his slippers and shuffling over to the door. There was no answer, so he pressed his face up to the peep hole. He let out a groan when he saw a random kid standing outside. If this was some kind of prank, he wasn’t sure he had the strength of mind to deal with it at this hour. He already put up with a whole class of teenagers every day who drained him of every drop of patience he had.

“Can I help you?” Aizawa mumbles after opening the door. The young boy in front of him looked to be about thirteen years old. The ends of his dark burgundy hair were frayed and had been cut sloppily as if he’d done it himself. He had outgrown his clothes a while ago, and they appeared uncomfortably small on his skinny frame. The poor kid looked extremely dirty and smelled even worse.

“Do you know this woman?” the haggard boy holds out an old photograph of a person Aizawa recognized immediately. It had been a very long time, but he’d never forget the face of the first woman he’d ever been with. He’d been so young and naïve at the time, and he still felt bitter toward the friend who’d set him up with a woman with such an atrocious personality. Aizawa knew right then and there that he wasn’t going to be getting back to sleep anytime soon.

“This is my mother,” the boy states the obvious fact. “And apparently you’re my dad.” Aizawa had no reason not to believe him as he looked into the boy’s tired eyes that matched his own. It was clear that life had not been kind to the kid so far.

“Come on in,” Aizawa invites his son inside, deciding to wait to involve the proper authorities until morning. “You can take a hot shower, and I think I have some leftovers we can heat up.”

“A shower?” the boy looked overwhelmed, as if the promise of a shower was more than he’d ever dared to hope for. Aizawa was growing more concerned with each passing second.

“Where is your mother now?” He asks and the boy shrugs.

“I haven’t seen her in a couple weeks,” he states as if that were normal. “I think she met some new guy.” That was enough to put Aizawa’s teeth on edge.

“Where have you been staying then?” he asks.

“Wherever I can,” the boy replies, sounding embarrassed. “Park benches, bus stops, train stations…” Aizawa was horrified. What kind of person left their child to survive in those conditions? Why hadn’t she ever reached out to him for help?

“What are these?” Aizawa reaches out to snatch up the boys arm. Now that he was inside where the lighting was better, he could see strange scars and scabs covering his skin.

“Cigarette burns,” the boy pulls his arm away and averts his eyes. “Mom thought it would make people more willing to help when I had to beg for money.” Aizawa felt his eyes fill with tears at the words, and he doesn’t think twice before pulling his son into his arms. The boy returns the embrace, clinging to Aizawa as if he feared the man might disappear if he didn’t hold on tight enough.

“What’s going to happen now?” the boy asks fearfully after he calms down a bit.

“You’re more than welcome to stay with me,” Aizawa finds himself accepting the role of father rather quickly. He was already responsible for so many kids already, he didn’t see the harm in adding one more to the list. “If that’s something you’re comfortable with.”

“Yes, please!” The boy nods his head, looking ecstatic as he wiped away his tears. Aizawa nods his head and pats his son on the shoulder.

“Well then kid,” he says with a small smile. “Welcome home.”

------

Aizawa Tag List: @clovertitan @raine-needs-help @lucacangettathisass @lea2107-foxsin @tiaraowens

#Katsuki Bakugo #Tenya Iida #Shota Aizawa #Bnha #Mha #bnha imagines #mha imagines #Writing Requests #Cindy's Writing #katsuki bakugou #aizawa shouta #bnha scenarios #mha scenarios

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1eos · 3 years

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All these anons are weird and corny so here’s an actual query, I have the hag line cap stellium and am Saturn dominant, nd everything online basically says Saturn dominant ppl are born 2 suffer/lvl grind thru life nd I was wondering if u have a less…depressing take on it lol. tbh I don’t even find a lot of trustworthy takes on stelliums and/or planet dominance online so idk if it’s even something to stress abt but I feel like Saturn has been kicking my ass my whole life n I need positivity rn;;;

YOU CAME TO THE RIGHT PERSON~!!!!!!!! literally i haaaaaaaaate the way ppl talk abt saturn its not that depressing. basically saturn dominant ppl are gonna age backwards nd thrive the older they get nd the more uhhhh life experience they acquire? so a lot of Saturn children are super serious but once they bloom into adulthood they will ironically then start to indulge in what makes them happy! saturn isn't actively trying to destroy you or make u suffer she's just trying to get you to change how you're looking at things. LITERALLY just this year i had a major saturian breakthrough nd if you ever have the chance u should read thru liz greene's saturn: a new look on an old devil bc it paints saturn differently. like a lot of the times when we get blocked by life we get frustrated nd can't see that there's something better for us. but here are some of my fave excerpts i think can help u!

but as a saturn dom i think its IMPERITIVE that you

-take life at your own pace bc the ‘live ur best life in your early 20s’ isn’t neccessarily for you. literally you will Never Peak it just keeps getting better.

-start treating yourself softer. you don’t HAVE to hold the whole world on your shoulders alone. its ok to rely on ppl. its ok to take breaks

-find the sweet spot between ‘some suffering in life is bc of things i cannot control nd has no bearing on me’ and ‘sometimes the growth i need will come out of an uncomfortable circumstance’ the point isn’t to identify with our pain but rather to….learn from it. accept it nd heal from it nd become someone that’s wiser from experience but softer from compassion. which i think is another great thing abt saturnesque ppl. like y’all know how to be firm nd get shit done but still with such a competent compassion 🥺 im sorry this ask is so long anyways but to explain my point my mom is a cap moon nd i always wondered if she didnt like our dog much bc she doesnt really pet her but i found out my mom went out of her way to boil dog treats so they’d be soft for my elderly dog to eat nd i think that sums up cap/saturn energy. a practical but not always seen care

-oh and possibly most importantly. do some soul searching nd ask yourself if what you’re struggling for is what you REALLY want in life. nd then ask if you TRULY believe that you deserve it. bc in my experience the times where saturn pushed against me the hardest were times were i was fighting for something i THOUGHT i wanted but i really didn’t. if you’re unaware of something in yourself saturn will beat u over the head until u get it but the process doesn’t have to be miserable you know? the journey of self discovery should be, in the end of the day, full of levity bc it’s a step closer to the idealized self you’re working for.

sorry this is so long i just have a lot of thoughts abt saturn nd ik what its like to have her beat the snot out of u i hope this help pls don’t hesitate for more excerpts, venting, etc i live for this

#at the start of summer i went thru the ‘the universe nd saturn hate me’#nd then i realized some things nd made some hard decisions nd now months later i feel like a load has beenlifted off me #long post #saturn #asks #👁💥👁

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normal-thoughts-official · 3 years

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Ur take on a malec beauty and the beast au please

ugh you got me in a difficult position here because on the one hand, i do love the idea of a beauty and the beast malec au. i just think the idea of a socially isolated person who thinks themself/is perceived as monstruous and who has locked away their heart and doesn't believe they could ever be loved fits magnus like a glove. but on the other hand, i don't want to make magnus, a brown character, animalistic, for obvious reasons. and i can't really think of a way to make him monstruous that doesn't fall into animalization/beastification (both racist tropes) or ableist tropes

so i'm thinking... maybe the spell is just that people are repulsed by him/fear him automatically? like it just creates this horrible almost impossible to ignore repulsive/fear/"fight or flight activating" aura around him for absolutely no reason and makes ppl be repulsed and/or hate him. even if it doesn't change his appearance at all. it's not really a changing or shifting spell, more like a spell of hatred

which like.... i know doesn't sound like anything poc/queer people don't already go through but there is a main difference which is that it makes it impossible to find a community. like even other brown and queer people look at him and feel this... huge disgust and even fear and might even hide and so the isolation is absolutely total and it fucking hurts. and besides it is one thing (a very bad thing) to walk around and have to be on constant alert because you never know if someone is going to be violent, and have to deal with occasional comments and disgusted reactions... it's another to consistently have like, children screaming and people cowering 100% of the time without exception, you know? he's basically living the life ppl with social anxiety think they live and he has nowhere to turn to, no one who understands or who's more likely to actually want to talk to him because of his differences. there's no one to lean on. even the people who love him aren't immune to it, even if of course they are not turning their backs on him

so anyway here are my thoughts: this was totally done by camille lol beacuse the whole backstory about being mean to an elderly lady doesn't fit magnus anyway and also i just like sprinkling camille angst where i can. so after magnus finally got himself free of her and her stupid claws she hexxed him back into isolation. both as punishment (a kinda "if you don't want me, then you have no one" logic) and just to make him more vulnerable because again, abusers want you alone and isolated and away from a support network so you are more dependant on them and more likely to buy into their thwarped logic if they can immerse you in it. so she's just trying to manipulate him into getting back with her, because she wants him and most of all his power

and basically you know the drill, if he doesn't find anyone who will love him romantically until the rose withers yada yada he will die. and again she just wants to make the spell so it constantly drives home how alone he is and how he can't find anyone who will love him (except for her), and make it so he's more and more likely to come back to her as time goes by because then the spell will be broken

(sidenote: camille obviously doesn't actually love him, because anyone who does that to someone doesn't love them. but as the one who cast the spell, she can lift it whenever she wants. so all she has to do is kiss him and lift the spell and be like "see, magnus? who else would love you like this, but me? even after all these years?". and honestly if it had come to that magnus would know she was lying because there is no way this is love, none. but anyway it doesn't come to that, that's just what her plan is)

anyway it still doesn't work because magnus is done and he won't get back to her, and he particularly doesn't want to get back with her after, you know, all this trashfire. and he just sets his jaw and is like "fine" and accepts that he will live however long he still has with his friends and people he loves and away from her, basically

and like gosh sidenote but this would have been so painful for his friends. camille very deliberately made it romantic love because she knows magnus has so many fucking people who love him, but him and the immortal squad have found family dynamics, not romantic ones. so there is nothing they can do even though their love for magnus is just... so real and pure and they hate to see him like this, hate to know that right when he finally got rid of her she made sure he still couldn't go out in the world. especially since magnus has always been so damn sociable, loved to be surrounded by people and to meet them and care for them. but here he is, walking as hidden as he can and with his head down avoiding eye contact because he knows the horror is there and some children run away screaming when they see him

and i just picture this desperate little scene with raphael in particular where he's just like.... "i'll try to kiss you. we have to try" and magnus is all, "my boy, you don't even like kissing, and she was very adamant that it had to be romantic" and raphael is almost in tears like "but i do love you, goddamn it! i should be able to undo this spell" and it's so sweet that he's trying and willing to be in this really awkward position where he kisses (yikes) magnus (which is just weird especially since magnus is kind of a father figure to him) because he's just... so desperate to have him free of her, finally, once and for all, you know?

but obviously it doesn't work, not even with dot, who had a kinda fling with him in the past but doesn't really feel Romantic Love™ for him even though she does love him, it's just... not what the spell requires. and it's unfair as hell and there are lots of tears but just the fact that magnus falls asleep surrounded in a teary cuddle pile after some of the absolute worst kisses of his life because his friends/family love him enough to put themselves in such an uncomfortable position in the hopes of making him free, is enough to make him feel a little better. and the fact that they are still there for him and obviously still love him so fiercely even though looking at him now literally evokes fight or flight instincts in them is already more than anything camille could ever give him. if anything, she's proven how loved magnus is

and that helps him get through it that day and is something he tries to hold unto in the worst days, but still, it's hard and it just... sucks. it's tiring to go out in the street and always have people staring at you and to see the horror in their faces and be so isolated and never really know what might happen, if he will be attacked or harrassed or what exactly will happen. so he isolates himself more and more and soon the only people who ever see him or visit him are his friends. and fuck, do they hate seeing him like this

things settle in a weird kind of way. magnus is still living his life and working as a wizard and etc and in a way the spell even helps him have some more credibility because you know, isolated scary person is kinda what ppl expect from wizards. but he avoids having contact at all costs and mostly sends the potions they request and stuff their way, and the only ppl he sees are his friends unless he absolutely can't avoid going outside. and he's fucking miserable. and every once in a while camille will come back to be like "so, magnus, are you ready to stop with this little tantrum of yours and come back to me now? how is the rose doing, by the way?" because god forbid he catches a break

also it turns out that magnus' adoptive streak becomes even stronger because he is 1- extra lonely; and 2- empathizing more than ever with the outcasts. don't get me wrong, he always has, he's a fucking brown, bi trans man for fuck's sake. we all see ourselves in the stray dogs and lonely people one way or another. but now this is turned up to a thousand, so, you know

so he has one (1) extra kind of contact in his life which is basically with stray animals (particularly cats cuz u know, this is magnus) that he finds around in need of help. they can all leave if they want, but a lot of them stay, particularly the black cats, disabled animals, and others that have a particularly hostile environment outside. you know

(not me again with my very specific hcs about deaf pitbulls who fall in love with my faves but LOOK pitbulls are very sweet and caring animals who don't deserve the fame of monsters that they have and if the idea of one being best friend's with magnus and them having a loving and caring relationship doesn't appeal to you then idk what the fuck to tell you)

this of course doesn't help his image cuz this guy is just going there and collecting black cats and snakes and has a huge pitbull around with him at all times but it's not like it can get any worse so magnus doesn't care, and besides, he can't just leave them out to die in the cold and harrassment of middle ages white ppl who think black cats are the worst possible thing but rats carrying deadly diseases are fine (and look, i know rats are also animals that get a lot of shit and persecution, but like, seriously, clean the streets)

and every once in a while there will be a person in need too, like a homeless person in need of a place to stay or some sick person who has been abandoned or something of the sort, so magnus brings them in as well and cares for them as well as he can, but also tries to maintain minimal contact because he's been burned too many times, okay

so like, cue alec! i know in the original BATB belle ended up with the beast to save her father's life but fuck that. i lowkey consider making it "izzy ran away from home so alec comes after her and they both end up staying with magnus" but i think i like it better if it's just alec who decided to leave. like he's done with the abuse both towards him and his sister and he wants to be able to live his life even if he's gonna have to start over in some other village all alone. anywhere but here and all that

and of course alec used to be plenty rich and he has a lot of skills that help him pass by - he's a good archer and hunter, he's a good leader and organizer so he could do wonders for a failing business, he's smart and cunning - but he also has, like, 2 gold coins to his name. maybe some more from stuff he took from home and sold, but still

initially he is living at a tavern and i guess i'm making simon, raphael, and maia tavern owners again! i don't even care anymore, it suits them. rapha is the cook and the three of them run the business and simon also makes musical appearances during dinners every once in a while, and they are living the happy queer polyamorous life of their dreams. we have no choice but to stan

anyway alec is staying with them and he becomes friends with i think maia in particular since, you know, she is the one with the most contact with the customers since rapha is in the kitchen and simon is up the stage most of the time. plus they are both the same brand of bastard and they have an easy understanding between them that just works

and look! simon, raphael, and maia are 3 trans, non-christian/non-white (unnecessary addendum: the concept of whiteness didn't exist until around the 17th century, but whiteness as a concept came basically as a substitute for christianity [link to source], so i'm counting the fact that simon is jewish and raphael and maia are not culturally european as equivalent to non-whiteness in this context) people, so it's not like they would ever kick a gay man running from an abusive home out. but you know what they also are? magnus' friends. and after a while of talking to him maia thinks he is trustworthy enough for them to send magnus' way, because magnus needs as many friends as possible. plus, he wouldn't kick a person in need out, so unlike with them magnus can't really push this newcomer away so he'd have more company. plus, the possibility that he might fall in love with magnus and undo the stupid spell is there, i'm just saying! i'm not saying it WILL happen but why not give it a fucking shot?

raphael in particular is of course super protective of magnus and he swears to god that if this guy gives him half a bad look raphael will end him, which earns him some pats on the shoulder for his troubles and "rapha, we don't want magnus to be hurt either"s. maia says that she's been assessing him for quite a while now and she's pretty positive that he won't be terrible to magnus, but if she's wrong, she'll kill him personally too. and rapha trusts maia. how could he not? she's maia

so, they send alec magnus' way. "i'm sorry alec, but we are struggling to make ends meet *hides gigantic gold stash* and the tavern is packed *raphael upstairs stomps at maximum speed to make it seem like their 13 empty rooms upstairs actually have people* and we really need your room to give to this customer *simon in a wig* BUT we have a friend who we're sure will give you shelter if you ask, it's not very far away, and once we have a free room we will let you know". and alec is just like, okay, because he's been staying there for free or considerably less than the usual fee/in exchange for some stuff he hunts for quite a while now, and they are nice, so it's not like he can complain

and they don't tell him about the spell exactly because it is not their story to tell but they do let him know what to expect re: magnus' vibes and say it's a spell. and alec's like ok i guess. alec's very practical, he doesn't really care, and it's not like it's the guy's fault anyway. which is exactly why maia is sending alec there

so they send magnus a heads up ("magnus this guy is HOMELESS and we are SOOOOO packed can you please give him shelter for a little while thx xoxo"). alec arrives there a while later carrying like 3 prime rabbits he has hunted as a thank you gift because he hates being dependant on people but it's not like jobs abound in the middle ages, and he is actually a little embarrassed to go in and ask this guy he doesn't know for shelter but he IS kinda desperate. for now

anyway he is standing there with his 3 rabbits debating whether or not to knock on the door and magnus just opens it magically like "i know you're there, dear, just come in" so alec does and awkwardly presents him the rabbits and shit and is all "thanks for letting me stay, uh. i can help you with food and taking care of the house and stuff" even though, you know, magnus has magic and doesn't need it

(and magnus appreciates it deeply, because it is tiring to do it all magically on his own but most non-magical people don't even consider that)

and like... it is very awkward at first because magnus does NOT trust at all and he mostly just wants to keep away from anyone who can... look at him. but they ARE living together (oh my god they were roommates!! just kidding they each have their own room but you get it) so it's inevitable. but like magnus' insecurity makes him keep to himself for long times and makes things awkward, kinda like how the initial days with the beast and belle the beast was rude and kinda shitty except magnus is not shitty, just... private

and maybe the subject even comes up like "thanks for the meal alec. i'll go eat it in my room" "i mean, you could eat here if you want" "and ruin your appetite? no thank you" and alec is just like "*shrug* it won't ruin my appetite. unless you are my parents, the concept of failure, or some girl wanting me to marry her, i don't think there's a lot the spell can do to make me scared. besides, you literally have a kitten on top of your head right now and you refuse to remove it and are using a spell to keep her from jostling when you move" "her name is Fluffy, and she is sleeping!" "right, my bad" "wait did you say the concept of failure?" "yea"

it's not that the spell doesn't work on alec; it does, just like it works on his friends. but he is willing to go beyond that initial repulsive reaction that he knows is illogical anyway (and alec is the kind of guy who is just like "if my feelings aren't logical, i don't listen to them" which in this case is useful lmao). and the thing is that once you get to know magnus there is nothing about him that is scary, and the feeling just becomes completely ignorable, because humans are nothing if not adaptable. but most people don't want to go through the trouble to try, and magnus himself doesn't want to let himself be vulnerable enough to give them a chance because there IS a great chance that he will be met with some level of aggression, even if it's an unintentional microaggression

and eventually they grow closer and build trust. i think this happens particularly when camille steps in for one of her regularly schedule shoving-it-in-magnus'-face visits and alec is just like. "hey why don't you just use magic to keep her away?" and magnus realizes that he never even THOUGHT of that and like, jesus, how much has he been unconsciously torturing himself? so he does it, and he ends up telling alec about the story of the spell, which might be the first time he's told someone that didn't know him before the spell was cast

(alec: "so she's basically just killing you slowly?" magnus: "don't be silly, alexander. torturing me first is the most important part". and he sounds self deprecating and almost resigned and god alec feels murderous)

ohh but wait bonus: magnus says that she will only undo the spell if he gets back with her, he doesn't mention that it technically can be undone by romantic love or whatever bullshit's going on because he doesn't believe it can happen anyway, so, who cares

anyway! time goes by. fun fact: alec and magnus get along really fucking well. magnus is so so smart and knowledgeable and he shows alec many of his inventions that never got to see the light of day or that were stolen by someone else who wasn't cursed and took all the credit. he also fascinates alec with his magic, but mostly with his personality. there's something just endlessly endearing about this guy who is so fucking proud of his puns and so so nice and gentle to every creature he encounters, be it a kitten or a pitbull, who's letting alec stay with him for no reason other than that alec needs it

and alec is so goddamn appreciative of it because like he IS and we stan! and he's always trying to give back to magnus which is kind of a rarity, but most of all he's also extremely funny beneath the whole no-bullshit attitude, he's caring and fierce and resourceful and strong (so's magnus) and they click so well. they can also talk about their similar experiences with like, abuse and trauma without making it super heavy and they're just,,, so supportive of each other. so like yeah surprise surprise they fall in love

but they don't really say anything because (on magnus' part) that's just fucking ridiculous, he's a monster; and (on alec's part) he will put magnus is a way too uncomfortable position if magnus doesn't like him that way and they will just... be living together. and magnus will feel like he has to compensate to alec somehow and alec doesn't want that. it's just complicated when one of them is dependant on the other, and besides, alec has had very little to offer magnus so far

(no, he has no idea how much his company means to magnus and has brighted his depressed ass life. he is stupid)

sometimes magnus' friends visit and they're always just so happy for him, to see how he's hanging out more and let someone into his life after so long. it earns him a lot of forehead kisses and "i'm so happy to see you like this". and over time he starts to invite them over more as well as just open up back to the people in his life :')

angsty but also kind of fluffy sidenote: i picture that every time they kiss his forehead or cheek or whatever they linger for a little while and then open their eyes slowly and sigh like "i had been hoping that it would work this time. magnus, you know i love you, right?" and magnus is all like "i know just from you saying that, darling. it's just not how the spell works" and aaa

and like to be extra clear im not saying that alec fixes him or romantic love heals him or whatever, just that having let someone in, someone who didn't know him before the spell, and have them completely accept him and realize how much he had been missing out re: touch and human contact helps him realize how much he misses his friends and how pushing them away is stupid when they've never been anything if not supportive of him. they don't care that he's cursed. and obviously magnus was already on the way to that if he even managed to let alec in anyway

anyway! dramatic healing scene. LOOK. usually i'd be all for "they don't change back actually because people don't have to look beautiful to be lovable". like the original BATB disappointed me sooo badly because i had just been hoping that he'd stay the same way and still be loved. but in this case it's not that magnus doesn't look beautiful! it's that the spell has made him be hated by people for no reason other than existing. and breaking the spell is not changing magnus himself, it's changing that hatred. so, yeah. i'm not saying it's a deep metaphor or anything, just, you know daudhasdja it's different from the usual monster thing

and i'm torn here because on the one hand i LOVE the drama of the original BATB where everyone decides to gather to kill the beast and belle saves him and shit, but idk if it fits with the vibe ive been building here. no actually @ me shut the fuck up. you know how i mentioned that they kick camille out with magic finally? i actually had no intentions of following through with this in any way but like of COURSE she would be absolutely pissed out of her mind and want to get back in some way, we already know she's vindictive. so i'm gonna use that. this is what neil gailman meant when he said that writing is just making a rough draft and then writing it again but like it's on purpose this time

anyway! so after they yeet her camille is obviously furious and fuming and it might have finally dawned on her that magnus will NOT fucking cave and she is losing power over him, not gaining it. so she decides to play a last card and get him to almost die so he kind of HAS to take her bid, you know? so she makes up some shit about how magnus has kidnapped the lightwood heir and she's only now hearing about it, and no one else is safe and yada yada. and she has "proof" because alec IS indeed there and again the spell just helps everyone easily agree with her that magnus is That Kind Of Guy or whatever, and middle ages ppl weren't exactly waiting for a good enough reason to grab their pitchforks. and they don't even KNOW about the spell, really. all they know is that he's very powerful, secluded, and they all fear and almost hate him just from one look

so camille makes up some bullshit story about how he made a deal with the devil to become extra powerful, and that the source of his powers is the rose, so they have to get rid of the rose to kill him. (sidenote: i never understood why the hell the rose was never used as a weakness against the beast. like was he keeping it super guarded and safe just for the fucking shits?) so they devise an attack so someone can sneak up and get the rose, and camille makes up some bullshit story about how they have to destroy the rose a specific way so it takes longer and she has time to manipulate magnus before he dies. man, it's easy to be a villain when your target is secluded

anyway! big attack at magnus' house. magnus' friends don't hear about it until it's too late because camille knows exactly who they are and warned them that they were on "the witch's" side. alec is maybe away hunting when it happens? camille obviously has magic in this AU so she can check for that information. maybe she even says that she will be the one responsible for finding the lightwood heir so there is minimal risk of him revealing that she lied lmao

oh no, violence! they battle and yada yada. catarina is probably the first one to realize what is happening because i figure she, madzie, and dot are the ones who live closest to magnus'. they send fire messages and get ragnor, simon, maia, raphael, and meliorn to help. oh yeah, and alec i genuinely forgot trust me to forget about romance in a romance-focused au. but alec is the only one of them without any magical resources and he's far away and on foot, so he's gonna be the last to get there, which camille had been counting on

but alec or no alec, they can keep the attackers at bay because they're all powerful and smart and shit and a lot of them have magic as opposed to the mundanes who don't, but of course that's mostly because they are holding off on attacking and the invasion is mostly a distraction because their PLAN is to use the rose. and camille tells them all to leave once the petal puckering starts so she can "protect them from any lashouts" (have her big villain speech). and it's not like any of magnus' friends is gonna leave to go after them when magnus is dying, bUT they also won't attack camille because she's his only hope. and they won't be able to get to stop the rose plucking in time because that's in another room and while she made it slower than something that the person can use to kill him in a second it's also not slow enough for them to get there on time (maybe there's a spell against magic use near where magnus keeps the rose? just for extra safety, so the ones with magic can't portal there or whatever)

anyway. big villain speech. magnus screams in pain every time a new petal is plucked. his friends are either running to the rose thing desperately or trying to get camille to stop this madness, she's going to kill him for fuck's sake. i don't know which chooses to do what so you can figure that out i guess. and for that extra drama, right when the last petal was going to be plucked, wee woo alec lightwood arrives! and he went straight for the rose because magnus had told him about it and he figured that there was a good chance the attackers might go for it. so he shoots the person's leg or something and gets them away from the rose and yay, day saved! mostly. because now there is only one petal left to fall before magnus dies, so at the very least, his lifespan has been shortened considerably. also, he is still in pain

i'm torn about what happens to camille then. on the one hand, i love killing camille! bonding activities for the whole family. on the other, she kinda is the only one who can save him now. they all know magnus won't want to get back with her, but hey, it's not like camille wants a relationship! she wants magnus to be her asset. a relationship was just the best way to get him to do that she had initially. but magnus doesn't want to cave and be dependant of her, so, you know. but maybe they can try to convince her to stop this fucking madness, god knows how

so okay yeah no camille-killing yet because they don't want to jeopardize magnus' safety, so she just leaves convinced that either way, she wins, and this might be the best possible scenario actually because magnus will have lots of times to think it over and be real desperate and come to her and strike a deal. so, yay her! she just needs to lie to the mundanes that the mission was successful or whatever, and it's not like that's gonna be hard because magnus won't want to be seen there again, so

we are all running to check up on magnus now. he's kinda like, on the ground coughing blood, but he'll live for as long as the last rose doesn't fall. still, they all settle on trying to help him, getting him in bed, tending to his wounds, etc. and thinking about what the fuck they are all going to do now. so you have raphael and maia making magnus soup, simon running his mouth as he throws around ideas on how they can fix this, ragnor, cat, dot, and madzie (who is here now that the danger is over ofc) checking and rechecking magnus' vitals for the billionth time and trying to figure out how much time they have, meliorn using their fae powers to stop his pain. and madzie is all snuggled in bed with magnus holding his hand and asking if he wants her to tell him a bedtime story, and magnus just... feels cared for and loved

alec meanwhile i think would tell what ACTUALLY happened to the person who was doing the rose thing - i actually have thought about it and think it might make sense for it to be luke. just because i love him and it kinda fits the whole "initially sided with shadowhunters, lately became a downworlder" thing. and like luke genuinely believed he was saving a person/people so alec brings him in too and magnus is all "catarina, dear, can you help heal his leg? i would, but i don't think i have enough magic right now" because he is the sweetest man immediately wanting to help the guy who almost killed him. and luke is in awe

(and alec brings him on purpose, too, because he knows that anyone who actually talks to magnus for a little while will see what an amazing person he is. and he hopes that luke, as a mundane, can tell the others that and turn them against camille)

and after that, of course, alec sits down by magnus' side and Does Not Leave. he's just there holding his hand and talking to him and magnus' friends, who are all also kind of. sitting there, trying to snuggle up in a gigantic pile of like 10 ppl to cuddle close to magnus and make sure he feels loved and cared for and that they know he is real. madzie gets special privileges in that sense because she's smaller and also a kid, so she gets to be kinda snuggled up with him. so alec has to be content with holding magnus' hand lmao (which he is, he's just happy that he's alive and okay. and he has a whole plan to get camille to undo the spell, mostly involving getting the mundanes against her and telling her that she is only safe for as long as magnus lives, because once he dies, she will have a bunch of ppl who will hunt her down to the faces of the earth to make her pay for what she did to him. the only reason they didn't do that yet is because she can still save magnus' live, so is she really going to let him die knowing that she will be next?)

so alec takes his hand and tells magnus that they will fix this, he promises, and give a little kiss on magnus' hand. just a little peck, no deep intentions, but magnus gasps a little because he feels something, and his eyes water a little bit because he's so touch starved and tired and hurt and alec kissed his hand and he can feel this kind of ache inside him, somehow a good ache, but he just can't explain it. and so alec notices his watery eyes and he very tenderly wipes his tears away and tells him that they're all on his side, will always be, and kisses him on the forehead. and this kiss? this kiss is full of adoration and love and purpose, and magnus gasps and the wounds that hadn't been healed suddenly mend together, and the petals that had fallen go back to the rose before it disappears in a beautiful flash of light, and suddenly magnus' magic is back full force and he just looks at himself for a second, and everyone erupts into joy because holy shit, the spell is broken

and alec is so confused because again! he didn't kNOW about the whole true love's kiss thing or he would have asked magnus to let him kiss him as soon as he learnt about his feelings, because even if magnus didn't feel the same way, alec could undo the spell. and he's like "why the hell didn't you tell me?? we could have fixed this months ago" and magnus is like "i didn't think it would make a difference. wait, you're in love with me? have been for months?" and alec is like "first of all, yes. second of all, i have nothing else to say, i just said 'first of all' because i was so indignant"

and magnus laughs and jumps on him and kisses him on the mouth this time and they are both smiling and laughing into it and so so happy. and raphael is kind of just peppering kisses on maia's face too, like, "you were right, he undid the spell, thank you" and maia was never sure that this would happen but she will take the credit actually please and thank you

and they all live happily ever after and kill camille together the end i guess. god this post was so long i'm so sorry

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