#Let's get the muse going
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If Leander and Sen are both a category of undead (Leander-a necromancer or Lich//Sen - a reanimated corpse) then I think it would be like a root, sprouting in two different ways. Sen’s would explore the storyline of dealing with grief, terminal illness themes, the price of immortality (negatively) and the value of medical consent. Whereas Leander will explore the loneliness of immortality, power hunger/greed, and the ideas of heroism and how they can be perverted/skewed to your own ideals and you essentially "lose the plot" of your code
#I hope this makes sense and I’m going somewhere with this I swear#if this doesn’t make sense—oop perfectionism is a scam#maybe I’ll rewrite this when I’m not occupied but it was rotating in my head like a rotisserie chicken#touchstarved musings#touchstarvedgame#touchstarved game#but I think they will both explore an aspect of revenge#also I hope we get to let sen die in the end and pass peaceful if that is truly what she wants#touchstarved sen#sorry fandom if this has already been said b/f//wonderful that we wound at the same conclusion
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like this for a starter. specify muse(s) from this list, please!
#starter call.#<3 blows u all a kiss who followed me over here!#love u bunches <3#i wanna get actual plots and writing done on this blog if you're interested in any of the muses at all#pls just let me know and we can go DEEP in plotting!
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I have been thinking on the nature of mdzs as a deliberately vague text that leaves many things up to interpretation, and how i've slowly come to understand "up for interpretation" less as "there is One True version of this story i must find" and not even as " Everyone has a different One True Version of this story inside their head be based on their interpretations and the differences don't make one wrong and the other right" but as "There is no One True Version. Even in my own subjective interpretation of the text multiple things can be true at once" specifically, in regard to Jin Guangyao and the many things which are left up in the air as to whether he did them or not, most notably killing his son.
There's evidence for this, but it's non conclusuve (jgy saying he killed him while also saying he killed Qin Su, who very much killed herself. The speculations on how he'd have killed him being sect leader yao just saying shit. ) it is, esentially, just up in the air enough that if you decisively fall on one side of the debate is probably says more about you and your general opinion of jgy than it does about the "true" events of canon.
I have, as a proud apologist, always fallen on the "he didn't kill him but felt in some way responsible for his death." Side but recently have become more okay with the interpretation that maybe he DID kill him, and that at the very least, that when he tells Qin Su their son "needed to die" he is being genuine. Which, once you look at it beyond. "Is jgy a poor lil meow meow who it is Okay to Like or an irredeemable baby murderer" becomes both INCREDIBLY tragic and deeply interesting. Because here is a man condemned for who his parents were and who wants nothing more than to live, saying that it is possible to be so cursed by your heritage that you need to die. There is no existence for you. The exact same thing that has been said to him.
Of course being born out of wedlock to a sex worker and being a product of incest are different things, but that begs the question: where is the line? What crimes of the father can mean death for the son? How cursed can you be until your existence is so incompatible with society it is you who needs to give? And if there is... where is it? Qin su clearly thought she was past it. Was his son really past it? Is he?
#warning: canon typical incest and suicide#mdzs#mdzs meta#musings on the nature of unreliable narratives or whatever#meng yao#jin guangyao#jin rusong#i know this is a controversial take#i just think! that once you let go of the idea that killing rusong is some load-bearing sin where if jgy has done it you can't like him#that there is interesting stuff to look at here!#obviously. child murder bad. jiggy has done many had things but this one is. particularly bad.#so i get it if you feel uncomfortable with it being done character you view as symapthetic despite other bad things he's done#and again! multiple things are true at once! i STILL operate from 'he did not kill him it was a secret 3rd thing' modus 90% of the time#it's just that in this one instant i find the other option really interesting#i just. non-identity problem my beloved. if rusong's suffering cannot be erased without erasing his existence is he destined to do so?#if he'd been a teen when everything about jgy got uncovered and both his parents died is there... a place left for him to go?#i just. hhhhh this poor child. we know nothing about you beyond your shameful birth and your death. is that really all you were meant to be
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hey my mom said that i can come over and plot with you if it's okay with your mom
#hey there demons it's me...ya boi....im standing outside your IM's#plot with me?? 👀#i have some lovely new moots as well as those i've been admiring from afar that i'd love to get things going with!!!#feel free to like this no matter whether we’ve talked a lot a little or not at all!!!#lets get stuff goin!#let’s scream about our muses!#i’m excited <3333#🪞𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞! 👛 ✎ *☆ ᵖˡᵒᵗᵗⁱⁿᵍ ᶜᵃˡˡ.
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It kind of occurred to me today that this:
is kind of... awkward.
See, as anyone with chronic-pain will tell you, your "daily activities" will warp around your pain.
Where instead of doing things "the normal way" you've figured out some kind of mostly-painless workaround, and so you don't even have to worry about it.
And then it's also difficult to say what amounts to "most" or "many" or "some". Is there a set list of things you need to be able to do? In today's world, plenty of people go from bed to computer to bed, never even needing to leave their apartment. How does that translate?
Not to mention what "all the time" really means. Does it only care about the worst days if you have something that flares up? Does it only care if it hurts even when you stop an activity?
And how come "talking / listening" is so high up? What if your brain decides to go non-verbal from just paper-cuts? What would be the appropriate "loss of function"-comparison in that case?
Basically? There's a lot of empty holes and abstractness muddling everything, even in this seemingly incredibly useful example.
I remember someone saying "your worst day - with no meds/tools", but what if that worst day only happens a few times a year?
It's complicated, is what I'm saying. And whilst this description is definitely useful, I wouldn't take it as gospel.
In fact, you might be better off ignoring your doctor when they start asking about "numbers" and just explain how the pain effects you.
"On a scale of 1-10" "I'll wake up in the middle of the night, nearly unable to move from the pain, and then desperately claw my way out of my bed. I'll then spend around two hours sitting up and letting my body recover, before being so tired that it outweighs the pain, and I can crawl back into bed for another few hours of sleep. At which point I'll wake up in pain again. During the day, I struggle to turn around or bend over."
They might not like this, and they might interpret the "number" in their own ways (which might screw you over), but at that point it's more about them being shit than you failing to describe things.
Obviously though, I'm not a medical professional and shouldn't be giving medical-advice. I'm just saying that 1-10 is so fucking arbitrary that I don't feel like you can give the "correct" answer, no matter how much thought you put into it.
#these musings are brought to you by - my ribs. which are definitely a contender for not letting me sleep at night#like. me trying to ''even things out'' by making sure i don't lean towards my mouse-arm when sitting down#is probably working? there've been more times of me being able to stand back up without being in pain lately#but it almost seems like it's getting worse in my sleep now? bcs it'll wake me up and try to kill me if i roll over#but it'll also hurt if i don't roll over. and it's genuinely getting hard to tell if it's my spine or my ribs that are the worst#(probably my ribs. bcs the current medicine for my spine... seems to at least work to ''cure'' the pain when it pops up)#(as in. i'll wake up in pain after four hours of sleep. i take the pill. i wait for twenty-minutes. i go back to bed and continue sleeping)#(if this was the first medicine i'd been given? i would've called it a fucking miracle. as it is? i'm not entirely happy with it)#this is obviously not made better bcs any attempts to lean AWAY from my mouse-arm? now my OTHER side starts to make noise#not a LOT of noise. yet. but enough that i'm definitely not feeling comfortable trying to solve it that way.#having said that. part of why it might feel worse these last few days is the physiotherapy.#it's not fun. i grit my teeth in pain during it more than i probably should. and i think it might make my muscles sore too#so there's ''pain + pain + exercise-pain'' and it's... not a great time.#even if i know that it's probably good for me in the long-term.#personal stuff#health
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one day I’m actually going to grab everything I went through last year and pour it into a raritwi breakup fic where they don’t get back together and I don’t do my usual thing where I hint there’s hope for them
And I think that will probably be a very emotional and good fic but also it’ll probably be incredibly crushing more than anything Ive ever done so honestly maybe we should all be grateful I haven’t written it yet
#I’ve been listening to JP Saxe’s ‘A Little Bit Yours’#and i can feel it clawing at me#‘all i do is get over you and I’m so bad at it’#‘maybe if I’d said the right things it never would have gone this way’#‘but maybe that’s the problem cause I still kinda think it was up to me’#‘when I never could have made you stay’#rarity moves away from ponyville because everything is twilight#and she sees twilight just lock it out block it out put it away in a box and move on#and rarity can’t#and she tries#and tries#and a thousand miles away#in the dark of the night#the silence staring her down#she has to live with the idea that twilight got over her like that#that twilight probably already let go long long ago#and yet rarity is there knowing still she’d kill if twilight asked her to#and there’s no victory in that#no poetry or muse#no beauty#it’s just sad and pathetic and a masochism and so self centered#to cling to the hope that twilight still loves her or needs her when she knows it’s not true and it never will be#and the element of generosity wonders when her core got twisted#when generosity and caring and giving became erasing yourself for some pony else#and maybe one day it’ll stop#maybe one day she’ll be fine#but for now#she quietly makes peace with a simple fact#that even if twilight sparkle isn’t hers anymore and never will be again#at least for now rarity is still a little bit twilight’s
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just a gentle reminder that THIS is how big the spines around blamore's neck are whenever he doesn't shrink them... so, it's pretty much a surefire way for it to keep other people away from him, NGL ☠️ (unless you are trying to get poked in the eye JSJSJ / j i'm kidding, i'm kidding (,: but blamore really does have several natural defenses against any 'aggressors,' i guess you could say, and it's spines REALLY add to it's uncannyness whenever they're at full - length ).
#IT WAS PROBABLY NOTHING BUT IT FELT LIKE THE WORLD: musings.#yeah... i have yet to talk about the spines around blamore's neck so i thought ' why not do that today? ' BUT -#i just wanted to let you all know that unless i specify otherwise in an rp then blamore has shrunk the size of them BC although he cannot-#make them go away it can at least make them a littleee more manageable to walk around with (': because i can imagine that they'd -#probably get caught on a lot of thing's if they were at full length all the time LOL but as i was saying here if blamore stretches them to-#their normal size then you should DEFINITELY assume that blamore sees you as a threat because they both serve a psychologically -#defensive purpose as well as a physically defensive one because i mean. I can probably imagine that some people might back down-#if they see them springing out of his neck all of a sudden like THAT but for those who still want to fight him? well then they could kind o#serve as a guard to his neck / head from being injured or cut off though there is a vulnerable spot between the bones of it but SHHH#i didn't tell y'all that / j LMAO i'm just joking again but yesss. they are VERY pointy and feel strong if you were granted permission to-#touch them by blamore + it is a little more lenient of letting people touching it's spines around his neck compared to his spine#so perhaps that could happen to y'all oc. who knows... 👀#tw: bones.#MAN IS BOUND TO LIE ABOUT HIMSELF: headcanons.
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I know everyone on Tumblr and Twitter regards people who are 25+ or god-forbid 30+ to be in fandom for nefarious purposes only and should be doing adult things like having a shitty 9-5 office job and then getting home and staring at a beige wall.
I'm here to tell you that my experience being 30 is largely unchanged from being 20, except I now have better communication and empathy skills from years of therapy and also from gazing into the void. Also I have more bills and stress, which means I value my time being able to enjoy a hobby like playing with metaphorical Barbie dolls.
Also, I can offer you such gems of lived-experience advice like "you may have a quarter-life crisis in your twenties as adulthood comes stampeding over you, it will suck absolute ass but you are not alone and you can do this."
Anyways shout-out to the age range who are not-elders-but-regarded-as-such-online-for-some-reason. I met a 60+ person playing my cool new gardening sim game and he's legit af. I am baby compared to that guy and he's still vibing. You're allowed to be part of online communities at any age as long as you respect the people around you.
#shea muses aloud#this is my 'old man yells at cloud' moment#i get the fear really im not naive i know there are bad actors online and you should exercise caution everywhere#straight up it can get dangerous out here#but also dont let that cause you to go extremist in the opposite direction and decide to ostracise everyone older than you#idk man go outside and join communities#my larp regularly had ppl in their 40s and 50s#youre allowed to be a nerd who *gasp* ages#fandom#ageism#anyways learning a lot in my year and a half of being active online#mostly the usual of 'there are people who suck and there are people who dont'#thats life babey#find the people who dont suck#also good luck with your quarter life crises everyone i believe in you
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Absolutely fascinated by the choice in Epic to not make Odysseus sleep with Circe. Bc like yeah it reinforces the theme of his love for his wife. But it also calls into question just how far is he willing to go to get everyone home. And he doesn't even try to think of a clever way out of it because like hello everything that just happened with Poseidon and the mental state he's left in!!! He just says no and and pleads for mercy. And also Circe’s act of kindness comes right on the heels of Poseidon’s ruthlessness, and does it come back to bite bc we know Odysseus is on the path of ruthlessness? And also Odysseus is one of the few Greek heroes subjected to sexual assault, and it’s okay to take out sexual assault in a story, but was that the reasoning? And what does that mean for Odysseus and the discussions around Greek heroes and masculinity and power (Emily Wilson goes into this a little bit more). Is it about giving Circe more dimensionality, and what does that say about ancient Greek vs modern definitions of women and power? And also Odysseus’ sleeping with Circe and Calypso is one of those things that makes people not like him so did we just remove some unlikableness, which we really shouldn’t because Odysseus IS an unlikeable hero. He’s complicated. He’s put in bad situations and does even worse things. And he’s just trying to get home, so really what IS he willing to do to achieve that?
#like I said FASCINATED#epic#epic the musical#don't come for me I'm just musing#and don't even get me started how Eurloychus is like let's go and Odysseus is like lets's save them#AND THEN THAT GETS REVERSED LATER#agent h#agent report
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more spooky shadow-inks Ft: Od
#inktober 2023#drawtober#digital ink#od the muse#I kinda wanted to work on this more#but it's late#and I've told myself I'm letting these go after one drawing session only#to try and get me moving again#cause I get too finicky..
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I drew all of my historical AU Sebs!!!!
In order they are(with relevant links to lore info if you are curious!!): Napoleonic Hussar Seb(x), Renaissance Muse Seb(x) and Boy King/Emperor Seb(x)
Let me know which you like best!!!
#oh my fucking god this was truly the endurance race of drawing sessions#i just drew for four hours straight or so......FUN!#and it is now almost 5 am on a school night so pls wish me luck in school haha#basically this spawned from me seeing if i could sketch all 3 of my Sebs easily and then whoops 4 hours later they are finished!#i think now i can draw the hussar uniform with my eyes closed. it was so comforting to draw honestly ;;;;#this is actually the first time ive drawn boy king seb with colors!! so i think it turned out pretty well?#hey guys do you notice what all of the Sebs have in common...? they all have a gold motif...GOLDEN BOY CODED!!!#anyways i think the most developed of these AUs is boy king seb which is funny bcs its the one ive created most recently#but gaahhhhhh ive done so much research and im literally brainrotting over it constantly#now i need to draw fernando in his 3 AUs hahaha but drwing Seb is sooooo much more easy/comfy for me#did you guys also notice i have a fondness for a specific seb hairstyle? malaysia 2010 my truly beloved youve served me so well#i mentioned this already but like i dont get how drawing these kinds of clothing is far more preferable to me than drawing racesuits#well anyways i have so much fun researching into these different eras!! and then very fun to mix it with the drivers#im very surprised i was able to draw this. im not usually able to draw good chibi anatomy#but like seriously i think i was posessed by my thoughts of boy king seb and i just couldnt stop drawing#in didnt really have any mental roadblocks which is surprising#but then again these drawings are me mixing my two major interests atm so ofc it'll come to me easily and make me passionate!!#anyways time to go sleep pwease dont let this flop my hands literally are overheated from drawing LMFAO#catie.art.#sebastian vettel#f1#formula 1#f1 fanart#formula 1 art#formula 1 fanart#f1 art#boy king au#renaissance muse au#hussar au
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Chasm: Curse of Kaine (Vol. 1/2024), #2.
Writer: Steve Foxe; Penciler and Inker: Andrea Broccardo; Colorist: Brian Reber; Letterer: Joe Caramagna
#Marvel#Marvel comics#Marvel 616#Chasm: Curse of Kaine#Scarlet Spider#Kaine#Kaine Parker#I was originally going to split this page into two posts#leaving just the top panel to comment «hardee har har ironic coming from someone whose creator refuses to let stay dead»#but I do think there’s an ongoing theme here#how much of Kaine’s interactions with Ben in recent years have been colored by the guilt of Kaine getting multiple chances#to learn what heroism while Ben was presumably dead#and then struggling with some of the objectively terrible things Ben’s done since#(is it Kaine’s responsibility as a so-called hero now to put Ben down as only Kaine has the strength and#supposed moral flexibility to do? But where does Kaine get the right to do that#considering his own past terrorizing Ben and Ben being one of Kaine’s greatest models of heroism?)#all wrapped up in a very brotherly Cain instinct#but yeah nothing that hasn’t been discussed before don’t mind my musing hahaha#I’m just constantly rotating this guy around in my head like a microwave#there’s also the humor here of Kaine not acknowledging (refusing to a knowledge???) how terrifying he is hahaha#although that joke would land even better if he still had visible claws on his suit
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So, I just had this idea for a Secret Quartet fic:
After Hawkmoth/Monarch’s defeat, Adrien talks to Jake/Danny about how Ladybug still isn’t willing to do an identiy reveal. They end up bringing up the possiblity of Alternate Timelines (which are supported for his end by the event where Sass used his powers without a wielder). One thing leads to another and Adrien & Danny visit Clockwork, who shows Adrien What Ladybug Knows (without sound, of course, to avoid Spoilers)
Ooh, that would be fun! Adrien might very well suspect she's not being wholly honest with him in this. He knows her well, after all. But he also knows she clearly doesn't want to talk overly much about it, so getting answers a different way makes sense.
He expects he'll find out what he missed in her last battle.
He doesn't expect to find out how badly things could have gone wrong.
While Adrien's trying to digest the whole Chat Blanc future (even if he doesn't know what spurs that future beyond getting akumatized; Clockwork might well edit what he shows), Danny--assuming he's still present--could be mentally comparing it to his averted future and trying to figure out how to comfort Adrien when he's still not exactly comfortable with the whole nearly-could-have-been future himself.
It's all a distraction, of course, because Clockwork is not going to play things straight and simple. Show them bits here and there, give them enough of an answer to be satisfied without revealing anything that's not quite ready to be revealed. Cards played right aren't questioned.
Really, it might have worked wonderfully if Bunnyx hadn't chosen that moment to drop by--but she'd have known that, of course. She'd have chosen that moment specifically because of that. She's good at picking out the proper threads of the timeline for someone so young, and she's aware of the consequences of what she does, but that doesn't mean she's not above bending the rules when she finds some flexibility within them, ready to be exploited, where she can nudge things one way or another without nudging everything onto the wrong course.
#secret quartet#musings#ladylynse#asks#miraculous ladybug#danny phantom#sorry I just figure Bunnyx would involve herself in this were going down#I figure sometimes she'd agree with Clockwork's assessment and sometimes she wouldn't#and when she doesn't she'd annoy him by doing what she can to get her way#all within the bounds of not causing a catastrophe of course#anyway if you do write out your idea let me know so I can toss it on my 'to read' list
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writing blood drinking / neck biting feels me with a similar joy to what smut does and i just think thats neat.
#❛ ♡ › jupiter : 𝐨𝐨𝐜.#editing my drafts and finishing a certain one made me very :)#ANYONE WHO FOLLOWS MY OTHER BLOG KNOWS THESE FACTS: a.) i love vampire muses.#b.) i love writing vampires taking others blood im sorry rip#c.) i also have an adoration for biting / neck biting ... esp as a slight show of possessiveness.#every time someone lets me indulge i am very !!!!!!#YOU CANNOT SHIP WITH ME W/O EXPECTING YOUR MUSE IS GOING TO GET BITTEN AT LEAST ONCE. probably more closer to countless of times#who knows ...#i will one day soon talk about my vamp!dil.uc au i got cooking in my head from last year :^)#its basic but i love it
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hey, y'all — so i know how random this is, but a while ago... i was thinking about how barton might react to dying because this man has been in a LOT more situations than the average person where he was near death. and the first thing that came to mind was that he would actually probably come to peace with it rather quickly — even though i know that'd likely be more a little unexpected coming from him. but IDK, i think i might've been onto something with it, though.
so UHHH like this post if you'd like for me to post an essay about why i think that / j (LMAO nooo, it wouldn't be a whole essay, but it would likely be a long meta... so like. if you do want more details and/or would be interested in seeing something like that, then i humbly invite y'all to like this post if you want to so that i know you are 👉👈 though there's no pressure OFC)
#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#AHHH i'm not going to lie i'm unsure of what warnings i should use for this post so if you see this and would like something else tagged-#other than what i put here for the trigger warnings then please let me know! but for now i'm just going to use a few of them#tw: death#and yeah... i know that this is kind of coming out of nowhere BUT y'all know how it is when you get a thought in your head-#that you feel like you just HAVE to write down; your brain doesn't even think about how random it is i think haha buttt#i have been wanting to make more in-depth meta's about this chaos gremlin so why not make one about how he'd react to death am i right?#JSJSJ even though it's UHHH certainly not a very happy topic i feel like it could lead to some interesting insights about his character
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do you write fic on ao3?
unfortunately for everyone involved i do!
#ask#and if youre wondering about my handle i write on anon so its doesnt particularly matter (shrugs)#and also i think its pretty easy to figure out which fics ive written because i want to makeout mad sloppy style with an em dash#anyways (waves offhandely) it doesnt really matter much because i have like posted an ss on here before so you know#its not like im trying to hide it like eh#but also because of my disposition that would put a tranced rabbit to shame i dont exactly yell it from the hilltops either#the moral of the story is if you ask me what im working on ill yap about it maybe like post an excerpt#and months later youll find something posted on anon and youll be like oh! so they finally posted it!#so to spare you all (lies on my tummy like we're at a sleepover and giggles) you wanna hear what im working on#haha of course you do youre a prisoner in my yap box#and i want an excuse to talk about it hidden in the tags so people skim over it and not read it <3#SO the earliest wip is from like early october about a magical realism au because i rewatched lwa as i usually do and well theres this one#ep about a magical animal if you will... and you can kinda guess what it is from that lol its sashaforsyekky#because the dreaded @/tungpin infected me with the brainworms about this trio specifically#and it really is ekky going 🥺 at whatever sashaforsy have (persumably) got going on woe is him its at 5k rn but uh ive stalled progress#because puppyekky has consumed my every thought which leads me to my second wip that ive been labouring over since the start of october#that also just broke 5k and not even remotely done lol whoops but its puppy ekky in a team environment with a heavy emphasis on the euros#rn there are scenes scrabbled out with sasha (multiple) mikksy luosty lundy and forsy. i know i have an idea for bobby.#and really lets see where the muse takes us i have vague ideas that are mmmhmm but we'll see when we get there!#the third one isnt the most likely to get finished but uh it is sashamaffhew global series stuff because it stemmed from#“it really is funny that sasha is treating the finland trip like he knocked up a girl#and is trying to make her meet his parents so it doesnt feel like a shotgun wedding when he you know marries her to take responsibility“#and i just think a maffhew pov with that thought in mind because of the whole touchy at e11even thing is funny to me like think mundane#slice of life oh i feel like im being wined and dined i hope i dont fuck it up jfc i think im fucking it up oh god this feels romantic#anyways it feels remotely ooc to me and it really was more of like a writing break from the wips stated above so (shrugs)#might not see the light of day but its 2k as of now so i do feel its a shame if i dont /try/ to finish it you know? its just low priority#anyways thats my writing check in and i am a prisoner to my own mind i will go insane haha these wont be published anytime soon#because i am slow and get distracted soooo easily so you know <3
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