#Let It Burn LP

[shadowland]

steve marriott and marc ford could have been great friends

[sunandsstars]

HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS

Recombinants x Medic!Reader

Summary: An unlikely group of people find a home in their cute little human doctor.

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of wounds/death/hurting animals

Word count: 1.6k

“Ouch!”

“Sorry! I did tell you it would burn” ___ swiped the alcohol wipe across Lopez’s blue arm, cleaning the deep wound from dirt and bacteria. She grabbed a needle and thread out of the medkit on the floor and carefully stitched him up.

“Don’t be a pussy Lp” Brown stuck his tongue out, tail flicking every which way, hitting Mansk behind him who swatted at the appendage and rolled his eyes, not that anyone could see them under the shades.

“Hey! This is a crazy ass gash on my arm! Let me cry dickface” Lopez stuck up the middle finger of the hand that wasn’t getting treated and ___ slapped it, instructing him not to get into petty fights until after she’s done.

“Will you lot stop pulling each others cocks for one minute?” their colonel strolled into the med bay with Wainfleet right behind him, both ducking under the small doorway to get into the room. “How’s it looking doc?”

“He’ll be ok, it shouldn’t get infected if treated correctly, just make sure to change the bandages every once in a while” ___ finished the last of the stitches she sewed, putting away her equipment. Being a doctor on Pandora had its pros, her income was higher than any other job on Earth, she got to be the first of the human race to live on another planet, she also got to have free roam of Bridgehead since she was highly ranked which was cool.

The cons however, were that she had to be apart of Project Phoenix. Assisting the recombinant squad, ‘deja blu’ was not what she signed up for and at first she was very reluctant, until she actually spent time with them. They were sweet and gentle with her, knowing that she was physically much weaker than them, they took care of her and also each other. Somewhat, they were a family.

Also the soldiers were fucking hot.

“Good. Lopez that was some stupid shit you pulled back there. Could’ve gotten us killed” Quaritch’s heavy steps stomped over to the two and flicked the mans pointed ear, Lopez winced and ___ huffed a laugh.

“Sorry colonel, just got too excited”

“If you want to be excited again, you have the opportunity to get out once you’re done here” General Ardmore made herself known, glaring at every person in the room “I need you on the front lines, take on those big ass animals that are blocking our train lines, they haven’t moved for days so we’re gonna amp up the pressure”

Some of the squad quietly sighed, they just came back from a mission, one that almost got them eaten by a giant black cat, not to mention one of them is injured enough as is.

“General, Lopez here needs to rest, he’s hurt enough as is” ___ intervened, holding the man’s massive hand and squeezing it in reassurance, she knew by the way his ears pointed down that he didn’t want to go out so soon, especially after almost getting his arm hacked off. Ardmore only directed her glare to the woman, making her freeze and look down.

She was one intimidating lady.

“General, we’ll be out there as soon as my guys are rested, it shouldn’t take long” Quaritch piped up, not wanting their doctor to face the older ladies rath of judgement.

Ardmore nodded sharply and sighed heavily, not liking the delay but this wasn’t her team to command… well it was…but Quaritch was a man that she didn’t want to get on the bad side of. Recom or human. She briskly turned and marched out but not before giving them three days rest to recover and gather supplies. She’d just have to send some Bulldogs instead.

Lopez sighed and squeezed ___’s hand in thanks for sticking up for him, he released it and stood up from his chair, Brown coming over and clapping him on the back “you guys wanna go to the rec room? Ja and Zhang are waiting for us”, many agreed and followed suit, Wainfleet and Quaritch sticking behind for ___.

The doctor packed her equipment away and took off her lab coat off, nodding to the two as they filed out. “So.. what exactly happened out there?” she usually was on these missions with them, but she had to tend to some paperwork with the bio scientists.

“We ran into one of those.. what are they called, thanators? Nasty fuckers” Wainfleet strolled up next to her, tail flicking and sending her hair up a little, he grinned and messed with her more, using his tail to flick more of her neatly kept hair.

___ turned and slapped his leg, smoothing her hair down and jogged a little further to get away from him. “Yeah, they’re not very nice. You must’ve been in their hunting zone - stop that!” she grinned as Lyle followed her around “just because I have hair and you don’t!”

Quaritch snorted “docs got a point corporal, but that burn runs deeper than Lp’s kitty scratches, how you gonna take that?” he was a few ways back from them, ears pointed up and grin on his face at their silliness. He could hear more of his team in one of the rooms further up laughing and chatting, Prager had a secret lover? Now that is something he’d need to find out.

“Well for one, sleep with both eyes open and a nightlight, for two-” The soldier grabbed ___ by the waist and hoisted her up over his shoulder, slapping her ass and barging into the recom’s rec room shouting “this little lady has been bullying me about my hair! We needa teach her a lesson”

Zdinarsk sharply turned at the loud noise and saw the predicament the two were in, ___ was dangling with her face barely reaching Lyle’s lower back, her tiny fists hitting the muscle as she shouted for mercy. The soldier hollered “what hair?!” and the rest followed with shouts of their own, oh the agony.

Wainfleet pointed his middle finger at every single one of them, including Quaritch behind him who was chuckling loudly. He placed the human in his arms onto one of the couches and forced her onto her back, easily pinning her with just one hand. His yellow eyes met hers and she instantly tensed up “no! NO! Lyle please don’t!” the man only grinned devilishly and raised his other hand slowly “Lyle I promise I’ll do anything!”

“Anything?”

“Yes anything! I’ll bake you those brownies you like!” Man did he love those brownies.

“Hmm, what do you think people?” Lyle glanced at everyone in the room to see their opinions.

Zhang twisted around and raised his brows “I dunno corp, she disrespected you and your lack of hair, she deserved what’s coming to her”

“Zhang!”

“Yea give it to her!” Fike pumped a fist into the air and Mansk nodded cooly.

“The people have spoken darlin’ you could still make me those sweets anyway” ___ screeched as the solder brought the hand down and tickled at her skin, going across the stomach, under the pits, under her chin. Her greatest weakness is that she’s ticklish, ever since they found that out she’s been exploited to the harsh fingers of the recombinants.

The doctor had tears going out of her eyes as she laughed at the feeling “I-I’m sorry! ahaha! I did- I didn’t mean to!” she felt Wainfleet slow down to a stop, nodding and patting her head as she breathed heavily. A flicker appeared in his eyes and she instantly put her hands up, knowing he would probably do it again.

Prager strolled by and rugby tackled Lyle to the floor, taking him down and wrestling him. All ___ could see from her position was tails swinging and legs flailing, she breathed heavily and sat up, carefully avoiding the almost ten foot men.

She strolled over to Quaritch who engaged himself in a game of cards with Ja, Zdinarsk and Fike. She examined the A4 cards he held then the ones on the table and plucked one from his fingers, placing it down. “Fuck” Zdinarsk swore, cursing whatever god was out there for this treachery, she was losing. Z-Dog never loses. “You know, I thought I liked you sweetness” ___ just stuck her tongue out in retaliation. Fike urged the doctor to help him out too, only to get a card thrown at him by Zdinarsk.

“How are you doing Lopez?” ___ strolled over to the man who was watching T.V with Zhang and Brown, he grabbed the little lady and perched her onto his lap.

“Good mami. It’s gonna take more than a fat cat to tear me down”

“Oorah!”

___ glanced over the man’s shoulder at Wainfleet who agreed and flexed his muscles, marines will be marines, she laughed.

“Don’t act like you weren’t crying earlier because of the pain” Brown chimed in, eyes glancing at the two next to him, he reached a hand over to rest it on ___’s calf, rubbing circles on it.

“I didn’t cry”

“Yes you did, whining like Prager when he got dumped by his secret lover”

‘Prager had a secret lover?’ ___ wondered. Tea is brewing, she had a feeling it was gonna be good.

“I’ll stick my tail in your ass if you don’t shut your fucking mouth”

“I’m counting on it”

“Cut it out!”

[aphrogeneias]

stars shine like eyes — drabble

pairing: eddie munson x reader

summary: you and eddie share some confessions under the night sky.

word count: 613

warnings: friends to lovers. sexual tension. recreational drug use (the devil's lettuce). shotgunning. the munson charm.

author's note: this is a reupload of a fic i wrote last year. i was listening to the song that inspired it and felt like posting it again 🤍

The stars were shining brighter that night. Maybe it was just the substances running through your veins and making everything seem brighter, shinier than usual. Maybe it was the company you found yourself with.

There was something magnetic about Eddie Munson. Something about his strange charm and the way he effortlessly carved his way into your life, dragging you into his world, and then, you didn't want to be anywhere else.

It was a hot summer night, one of those where staying inside felt almost impossible. You had dragged his record player to his window, as far as you could, and laid an old blanket on the grass just outside his uncle's trailer. Faintly, you could hear his chosen Black Sabbath LP playing in the background, heavy bass and drums echoing through your ribcage, but you were too concentrated on the warmth of the body that lied beside yours.

You had gotten quiet as you smoked, conversation dwindling until an unspoken tension was all that was. Like electricity, it ran between you until you felt your head lull to the side, staring at Eddie's profile as he took another drag of the joint between his nimble fingers. You stared at the way his lips moved, blowing the smoke up to the air, feeling a sudden ache you couldn't quite explain.

As he turned to you, the world felt like it started spinning in slow motion.

"See something you like?" Eddie grinned, handing you the spliff. You felt heat slowly take over your face, but you didn't break eye-contact — more than that, for the first time, you were seeing his eyes up close, getting lost in the dark of his irises.

"You have beautiful eyes, did you know that?" It didn't even feel like it was you talking, the admission felt distant, and you fought the urge to giggle. "Like a baby cow. You have baby cow eyes."

His grin broke into a laugh, rich and earnest, "I think you had enough for tonight, sweetheart."

Instead of feeling embarrassed, you laughed with him. Eddie had a way to make you feel comfortable in any situation, even when you're probably making a fool of yourself. You didn't care, not when you got to watch something akin to tenderness fill his expression, inches away from your own face.

"No, I mean it! You have the prettiest eyes."

"Do you think a lot about my eyes?" He teased, but you didn't miss the expectation behind his words. Slowly, you watched from your peripheral, his hand rose to fall delicately on your cheek, smoothing his fingers over your skin.

"Sometimes…" He brushed a stray strand of hair behind your ear as you breathed out another confession, "Sometimes I think about your lips too."

"Let me tell you a secret, then." He said, as he carefully stole the joint from where it laid, almost forgotten, in your hand. "I think about your lips all the time. It drives me crazy, actually."

Hypnotized by his low voice and the intense look in his eyes as he took his turn to confess, you watched him take another puff, and this time, he asked, "Open up, baby."

You didn't waste any time, lips falling open almost at their own accord, relishing in the feeling of his hand coming to rest on your chin, keeping your mouth open with a gentle grab. Eddie blew the smoke into your mouth, watching intently as you inhaled, letting it burn down your throat and numb your racing mind.

He kept staring at your lips as you closed them, breathing heavily in anticipation until he broke the silence, "Can I kiss you?"

"Thought you'd never ask."

[doomandgloomfromthetomb]

Talking Heads - Kosei Nenkin Kaikan, Tokyo, Japan, April 28, 1982

We just checked in with the B-52's around the time of Mesopotamia (which David Byrne produced and played on), so let's see what Talking Heads were up to back then, too. The band was in Japan, naturally. A bit of a transitional moment for TH — right in between the epochal Remain In Light tour and the Speaking In Tongues / Stop Making Sense era.

Even though SIT wasn't ready for prime time just yet, the Talking Heads universe was rapidly expanding, as the advertisement above tells us. David Byrne's Catherine Wheel collection was out; Jerry Harrison's solo LP The Red and the Black was out, too; and, of course, the Tom Tom Club was riding high on "The Genius of Love." At this point, Talking Heads must've seemed like an unstoppable engine of creativity and innovation — some kinda peak! Despite (or because of) this lofty summit they'd climbed together, they were all no doubt exhausted and sick of each other to some extent.

But this Tokyo audience tape shows no sign of weariness — it's a great time. The expanded band had changed slightly since the previous year; Adrian Belew had jumped ship to sail proggier seas with King Crimson and Bernie Worrell was missing for some reason, replaced ably by Chic's Raymond Jones. Nevertheless, it's all killer no filler, with a setlist that draws from the Heads' back catalog, as well as some more recent jams from The Catherine Wheel. We even get a Jerry spotlight with "Slink" from his record — kind of funny, though, you'd be hard-pressed to tell the difference between his vocals and Byrne's. And what about the Tom Tom Club??? It's not on this tape, but I believe they opened the show with their own set — you can check out what they were up to as a live act via this great video from later in the year at the Montreux Jazz Festival ... and then you can check out Talking Heads burning down the house, too.

[thepurplewombat]

The Sin List

okay, so as we all know, it is vitally important that any character we stan must be morally pure and a good example to emulate in real life.

So I have decided to create a list of MDZS characters and their sins, which everyone can easily refer to in order to make sure that they are not following some horrible criminal or murderer!

This was a lot of work, but I'm very proud of it. Just doing my bit to ensure the moral purity of the fandom!

Wei Wuxian - Necromancy, disrespecting his elders, disrespecting the dead, killed Jin Zixuan, punched Jin Zixuan in the face one time, cannibalism, mind control, deviant sexual fantasies, trespassing, oath-breaking, urged Wen Qing to perform untested and possibly fatal operation on Jiang Cheng without his consent.

Lan Wangji - Defied his elders, broke the Lan Clan rules, sexually assaulted Wei Wuxian, deviant sexual fantasies, GBH (JGY)

Jin Guangyao - betrayed and killed Wen Ruohan, betrayed and killed Jin Guangshan, murder (NMJ), murdered assorted people, disrespecting the dead, assorted Spy Things for Wen Ruohan.

Nie Mingjue - Killed a lot of people during the war, verbally abused Nie Huaisang, burned Nie Huaisang's stuff, attempted murder (JGY), attempted murder (JGY), attempted murder (JGY), murder (JGY), killed the Mo family (well, his arm did anyway). In favor of the genocide of the Wen Remnants

Jin Guanshan: Sexual assault, rape, murder, ordering human experimentation with resentful energy to be done by his sect, played both sides during the war, didn't take responsibility for his children, ultimately responsible for getting WWX killed because he wanted the YTT so bad

Wen Ruohan: Attempted world domination, murder etc

Lan Qiren: has a stick up his ass

Su Minshan: Refused to die for the Lan, supported JGY in his efforts to prevent undead Da-ge from killing him. Also cursed Jin Zixun.

Sect Leader Yao: Weathervane politician

Jiang Wanyin: strangled Wei Wuxian that one time, keeps trying to talk to him but is way too tsundere about it, killed many during the war, didn't immediately forgive WWX for getting JYL killed, threatens to break Jin Ling's legs weekly.

Jin Ling: rude. rude rude rude. Also stabbed WWx one time

Lan Jingyi: not respecting his elders, rude rude rude. Also loud

JFM: shit dad, throw him in a volcano

Madame Yu: Angry mom, beat Wei Wuxian for things that weren't his fault, yelled at JC a lot, didn't appreciate JYL, very mean.

Lan Xichen: killed people during the war. Randomly starts doing flute solos in conversation

Meng Shi: was a prostitute. Told Meng Yao his dad was amazing and he should totally look him up later.

Madam Jin: awful person, she can go into the volcano with JFM. physical and verbal abuse (JGY)

Nie Huaisang: killed cats, nearly killed the juniors, let his sect fall into ruin, traded obscene materials, disrespecting his sect's traditions, lied to Lan Xichen to make him kill JGY

Wen Qing: went along with WRH's plans, performed surgery on JC without his consent

Wen Ning: Was part of the burning of LP

Mo Xuanyu: Summoned Satan to murder his relatives, harassed his brother

Jin Zixun: asshole, rude, broke the Geneva Convention on the ethical treatment of prisoners several times. Useless person

FOR THE SAKE OF SAFETY AND YOUR MORALS YOU ARE ONLY ALLOWED TO STAN THE FOLLOWING CHARACTERS

Jiang Yanli

Qin Su

Lan Shizui

[oldmanffucker]

He listened to House recap his latest case, and though Wilson had heard it all before he never stopped him, content to absorb every retelling, each more dramatic and scandalized as he reached higher and higher levels of inebriation. Wilson was two sheets to the wind as House wound them through the labyrinth of a nun with a semen allergy as, privately, he’d taken to drinking each time House insulted the intelligence of his fellows, Weber and Said. So far he’d counted handfuls of each of ‘moron’, ‘idiot’, ‘dumbass’, ‘stupid’, and an unanticipated ‘dunce.’

House, cheeks rosy and glowing, eyes glassy and fond from drink, thumped his cane in indignation as he emphasized to Wilson in his Housian way that Weber was, “a leather boot” after the LP. House had a twinkle in his eye and the suppressed smile of a proud punchline yet to be delivered, so Wilson raised his eyebrows, taking a pre-emptive swig of his martini, preparing to augment his mental ‘House Thesaurus of Stupidity’, only to choke and splutter when House said, “I mean humping it is always a good idea, but all Weber did was put his foot between my legs, I had to do all the work to get off.” Tears were streaming down Wilson’s face, a dual effect of the gin burning his throat and nose and the laughter that was creasing him so contagiously that his shoulder was sagging under the weight of House gripping him in his own peals of laughter.

“I didn’t know you could still get on your knees,” Wilson prodded when he could speak again.

“I can’t,” House sipped his scotch through a goofy smile and raised a brow suggestively, spreading his legs and patting the seat of the chair exposed in front of his crotch. “But I can sit, and they can step.”

Wilson's cheeks burned as he imagined, no, specifically did not imagine, kicking his foot up onto the chair and letting House move against it. He cleared his throat and was so clouded by his own drunken blushing that he didn’t notice House smirking and watching him cross his legs and readjust himself.

(from ‘time after time’)

[yaspup9000]

By Popular demand, here’s some of my LPS Hot takes

Some of the later pets weren’t That bad. Like yea I do agree that the tv show based toys from like 2013-2016 weren’t that great and kinda fugly looking, but with some of the 2020 pets, why yes not as iconic as the 2000s lps that we know and love, I still believe some people were really harsh on some of these pets cuz like they did look really cute tho! My only problem with the pets was the fact they had names tbh 2. Not every g2 lps molds were perfect. Some really good examples of older lps molds being kinda ugly were the first Jack Russel and poodle molds. I’ve also mentioned about the skunk/Squrriel molds were pretty lazy since it’s just the same mold . They didn’t even try to make them different from each other. Like say what you will but at least with some of the newer pets between 2013-2020 they were at least trying to make the skunk and squirrel molds different from each other. also the opossum molds was not all that great tbh..

3. The worse thing that ever happened to lps was the Blythe loves lps toy line. No joke idk why they thought this was good. I mean if you guys loved the Blythe dolls that’s fine, to me I always found them off putting since well, they just didn’t fit personally. Like you’re the one who’s caring the pets or this is a world where it’s run by pets. There was never any mention about humans tbh. Again this is prob coming from bitter younger me lol. But in all seriousness though, never really liked Blythe dolls tbh

4. People need to Chill out about the some of the rerelease of lps. Yes I understand, I’m just as nervous and excited as the rest of you guys however I genuinely feel as if people are really making a mountain out of a hill over some prototypes and a blind bag. Like I understand that everyone’s burned out by bad decisions after bad decisions within the lps Franchise. And yes blind bags are overused and annoying however, Guys.. they’re not just gonna make only just blind bags, they’re gonna do other stuff for lps soon just be patient. Not to mention at the end of the day, they’re still just silly little pets for kids. Can you critique the toys? Of course! But just remember that it ain’t that deep. 5. They should bring back that one brown poodle mold

yes this one! its cute as hecc! and i wish they would bring this back 6. This cat isn't a "Wolf-Cat" Its a maine coon. This isn't even an opinion or anything, i just wanna let people know that its suppose to be a maine coon. also the actual "wolf-cat" is called Lykoi and idk how that breed of cat would look as an lps.

7. the main reason back in 2013 Lps was having a reboot was due to MLP having a reboot. that's just my theory tho.

8. I feel like a lot of people keep forgetting that 90s LPS exist. Like whenever people say "g1" they don't think about the kenner Lps toys, they were thinking about the 2000's lps that was popularized by hasbro. and tbh that kinda sucks.. cuz why yes the kenner toys were more into realism, i still geninually, like the kenner lps figures they were rad.

9. The sticker eyes lps were cute, I actually liked them 10. One pet peeve I had with LPS popular, is that technically, Brook should of been arrested or at least suspended since she did attack Savannah first. Not to mention, doesn't this school have like cameras or something!? i know this has been years since I've watched LPS popular but like, bruh, Why don't her parents believe her!

Umm.. I dont really have any other opinions nor thoughts at the moment. idk feel free to ask me anything lps related and I'll give my honest opinions.

[brotherslayer]

I was musing with some friends the other day, and I thought our thoughts would be interesting to talk about. In WMMAP, Jennette basically takes on the role of LP!Athanasia. She has a more downcast, gentle disposition, contrasting WMMAP!Athanasia's lively and sunny 'personality'. And I say that in quotes because she basically took Jennette's personality, eventually making her own spin on it and turning into the sunshine personification we know and love as Athy. She even said as a kid that Claude liked Jennette, so she should act like Jennette (therefore starting her lovey-dovey act with Claude). There's tons of scenes showing how lonely Jennette is. She's deserate for a family, like LP!Athy was desperate for her father's love (her family). She clings onto our Athy, and even though she's kind to Jennette, she still leaves her completely in the dark and alone, until the end of the series. And on a similar note, Athy.. Knew about Jennette's identity and situation the entire time. Jennette had been told her entire life that she is Claude's daughter and Athy's sister, and Athy knows this, but she still leaves her to stand. Repeatedly, she acts loving and happy with Claude right in front of Jennette's face, and treats her like an outsider. (Example; when she fell in the lake and Claude almost let her drown, or episode 82 when Jennette asks if Claude is alright, and Athy tells her to go home). This also applies to the Debutante Ball- While Athanasia shines that day, Jennette is left behind by both Claude and Athy. Athy knows all about her, but lets Jennette watch her act close with Claude, and then scurries off with him leaving her behind. Of course, this isn't to bash Athy or anything, she was in survival mode at the Debutante. And a lot of times around Jennette, she was paranoid that the 'plot' would fall back into place somehow. I'm just pointing out some things. I know that some people will go "Well in LP Jennette got her happy ending, and Athy didn't!!!" But that isn't true. Athy doesn't know what the ending is of LP, and we're shown through visions/dreams that LP certainly didn't have a happy ending. (The Empire burning down, Claude getting sick, etc). I can only really assume that has to do with Aeternatas. They both die a miserable death. We can assume that when Anastacius shows up in LP, like shown in the visions, Jennette realizes at some point she's been lied to her entire life by the people she loves. And then dies, though I'm not sure in what way, we just see the empire in fiery shambles after. Additionally - Claude never even loved Jennette, he just used her to cure his headaches. So Jennette never "stole" his love from Athy. In WMMAP, though, our girls both finally get their happy endings. Athy wins Claude's love, and becomes Crown Princess. Jennette finds happiness with her real father and gets to start over in Mieta, while also taking on her mother's green eyes - which I see as her making peace with the past she thought she knew, and no longer needing to hold onto the Imperial family. I really don't get it when people compare Athy and Jennette, in "who suffered more", or "who is better than who". Aside from WMMAP being a father-daughter story, I argue that it can also be seen as a story about 2 girls finding their happy endings.

(side note: controversial, but I always find myself feeling more bad for Jennette than I do Athy TvT I think it's because we only ever see LP!Athy's suffering from very far away, we rarely even see her face, and we usually just see our happy-go-lucky WMMAP!Athy. Meanwhile we see Jennette's hardships more closely, making me feel more bad for her. That's just how I feel tho!!)

I don't like putting two girls against each other in trauma olympics but if you want to insist one of them had it worse than the other, the answer should be Jennette and not Athy. Jennette was never loved for who she was, she had to witness the death of her family one by one until she was the only one left behind amidst the destruction of her home country to either die a violent death or become Aeternitas meat puppet, an accessory to his crimes and forced to witness him committing atrocities through her but powerless to stop him.

At least lp Athy had Lily, Jennette had no one. I feel like LP Athy was a lot freer too. LP Athy's lack of magic saved her from court intrigue and being used as a tool by greedy nobles wheras Jennette was manipulated from the start. Athy could pursue her own interests and these happened to align with the duties of an Empress, contrary to Jennette who never wanted to rule but was forced into intense studies to learn everything a princess should know.

I never fully understood why Athy didn't just tell Jennette the truth about her parentage. Leaving the part out that Jennette is a construct made of black magic, she could have at least told her Anastasius is her real father and warned her that if she revealed her identity, Claude might harm her. Lucas, as the magician of the tower, could confirm her words. Jennette would stop seeking him out and if Athy continued their friendship, Jennette's need for familial love would still be satisfied. They could have been both happy together. There were no advantages to keeping it a secret, only disadvantages and the risk she would lose Jennette's trust if she ever learned that Athy had deceived her.

[cryptidvoidwritings]

Full text below.

A D.J. pawing through a carton of old LPs — Natalie Cole, Angela Bofill — comes upon a curiosity: the original cast album of “Cats.” When he opens the gatefold, glittery spangles fly everywhere.

That’s how “Cats: The Jellicle Ball” begins, and it’s basically what the Perelman Performing Arts Center’s drag remake of the Broadway behemoth does to the drab original. It sets the joy free.

Whether upper- or lowercase, cats never previously offered me much pleasure. The underlying T.S. Eliot poems, ad libbed for his godchildren, are agreeable piffle, hardly up there with “Prufrock” as fodder for the ages. The musical, instead of honoring the material’s delicacy, stomped all over it, leaving heavy mud prints. Andrew Lloyd Webber’s score, and especially the rigged-up story and original staging by Trevor Nunn, tried so hard to make big statements from little ditties and kitties that it wound up a perfect example of camp.

Camp, cleverly, is the new version’s base line, neutralizing that criticism. It turns out that the show once advertised vaguely (and threateningly) as “now and forever” — it ran on Broadway from 1982 to 2000 — works far better in a specific past.

That past is the world of drag balls, which at the time of the original “Cats” was beginning to achieve mainstream awareness. Madonna’s appropriation of the participants’ style and dance moves in her videos and concerts, as well as Jennie Livingston’s celebration of them in her documentary “Paris Is Burning,” helped pave the way for the supremacy of RuPaul and dragmania today. But beneath that triumph lay a darker truth: that the thrill of ball culture depended on its drawing extravagance from destitution, meeting prejudice with bravery, and staring down death with style.

The key insight of this “Jellicle Ball,” which opened on Thursday at the new downtown arts cube, is that at least some of those themes could resonate with Eliot’s subtext and Lloyd Webber’s score. The directors Zhailon Levingston and Bill Rauch have thus transported Grizabella, Skimbleshanks, Rum Tum Tugger and the rest from a metaphysical junkyard to a hotel ballroom for a vogueing competition, accompanied by new versions of the songs that go heavier on the synthesizers, turn some lyrics into raps and add a distinctive house beat.

It’s often a good fit. The former felines — now fantastically attired humans — compete in traditional categories, like Opulence and Hair Affair, that are to some degree matched to Eliot’s descriptions. The song “Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer,” for instance, pits those two “knockabout clowns” against the pairing of the balletic Victoria and the acrobatic Tumblebrutus in a showdown called Tag Team Performance.

Not that it is any easier to keep the cats straight just because they’re queer. The structure of the show doesn’t allow it. Hemmed in by the Eliot estate, Nunn could not add dialogue, making it difficult to flesh out any characters or encourage specific emotional investment. His solution was a bizarre framing device with late-1970s woo-woo overtones: The clan meets each year on the evening of the Jellicle moon so that their leader, Old Deuteronomy, can choose one lucky cat to ascend to the Heaviside Layer and be reborn.

That silliness didn’t help much. It remained difficult to keep Jellylorum and Sillabub apart or care about either. In revivals like the one on Broadway in 2016, let alone the dreadful 2019 movie, the material seemed fatally ludicrous.

And if “Jellicle Ball” doesn’t quite solve that problem, it succeeds in making it mostly irrelevant. The new frame allows you to feel something for the characters, at least as a group, even when you don’t know what’s going on, which is often. The design of the long, narrow room, with the audience surrounding a runway on three sides, is awkward in the way one imagines the balls were: You can’t see everything, you’re constantly craning, the sound (by Kai Harada) is blurry and some fuss or hilarity is always happening somewhere you missed.

Even so, we recognize Rum Tum Tugger (Sydney James Harcourt) far better now that he competes in the Realness and Body competitions. (He’s a smooth playah.) Gus, the theater cat, is a more instantly recognizable type as performed by Junior LaBeija, the M.C. of the “Paris Is Burning” ball, as a catty old queen who, though “no longer a terror” can still throw ample shade. And it takes little more than the arrival of André De Shields, with his unsurpassed ability to freeze attention onstage, to show us that Old Deuteronomy is a Moses.

It helps, too, that he’s given a glowing Ten Commandments-like set of tablets, and that he’s dressed (by Qween Jean) in royal purple topped by a gigantic matching lion’s mane (by Nikiya Mathis). Indeed, the wonderfully over-the-top design of the show is as important as the concept itself in filling out the vast blanks of the characters as written. Enjoyable as that is in itself, the chief benefit of the physical staging (on sets by Rachel Hauck, with lighting by Adam Honoré and projections by Brittany Bland) is that it grounds the performative mayhem on the runway in a real environment that suggests the struggles of real lives.

Among other things, this rescues the nominal star role, Grizabella, from bathos. A faded “glamour cat” seeking the reincarnation nod, she has no other function in the original story, not even suspense. (We know she’s going to be chosen because she keeps popping up to sing fragments of “Memory.”) But here, in smeary makeup, a ratty fur and carrying a tarnished old trophy, scrambling about the outskirts of the action, we see at a glance the pain of an outsider now exiled from the place she’d once been safe. Especially as played by Chasity Moore, known in the ball world as Tempress, that pain feels authentic.

That is not something that ever occurred to me in watching the old-school “Cats.” At best the Broadway show felt like a stoned oratorio about nothing, with a dog’s breakfast of song styles including ear-wormy music hall, grating electronica and the occasional Gilbert and Sullivan chorale. (The choral singing here, under the direction of William Waldrop, is gorgeous.) Likewise, the original choreography, by the Royal Ballet star Gillian Lynne, seemed totally random despite its supposedly catlike footwork. The athletic vogueing created for this production by Arturo Lyons and Omari Wiles, sometimes blended with throwbacks to Lynne’s classical style, is instead perfectly tailored to its milieu, and thrilling besides.

I should say at this point that, no, I haven’t turned into a fan of the show itself, the one you can see at your community theater or license for your high school. I don’t believe musicals should need whisker consultants. But as happens occasionally, the right idea can transform the wrong material. If “Cats: The Jellicle Ball” has managed a Grizabella turn, reincarnating itself in fabulousness, do not expect an 18-year run or, pardon me, copycat productions. It’s a lightning strike: not now and forever but now and once.

(Honestly, I'd respect this guy more if he came out and said 'I'm taking money to pretend to review the new show but actually am just regurgitating 40 years of The Smart, Cultured Critics Hate CATS.')

[darlin-collins]

YALL AIN'T HEARING IT

"when you get older ,plainer, saner,will you remember all the danger we came from?"

"burning like ember ,falling tender, long before the days of no surrender years ago"

"and will you know..."

"so smoke em of you got em cuz it's going down"

"ALL I EVER WANTED WAS YOU"

"I'll never get to heaven cause I don't know how"

"let's raise a glass or two..to all the things i lost on you!"

[stop-spreading-this-poll]

Round 1 Poll 30: So Much Over A Mistranslation

One Piece submission:

A while ago a translation of a translation with bad English translated Law's line calling Corazon a ""大好きだった人"" (literally just ""someone [he] loved"") as him being his ""most treasured person"" and people just fucking RAN with it and I still saw it in edits years later. I've always hated it and I always will. People were using it in meta analysis and theory discussion about how he loved Corazon more than his family like,,, he literally did not fucking say that.

Ace Attorney submissions:

Manfred von Karma is not a child abuser!!!!!

Manfred von Karma is a canonical child abuser. That's just fanon and the only ""evidence"" is a mistranslation.

Manfred von Karma is often painted as abusive on fanworks, and while there's technically nothing wrong with that, the people who subscribe to this headcanon often refuse to entertain the idea that what theyre saying is just that. A HEADCANON. Theyre also sometimes downright hostile to anyone who likes Manfred in general. Usually, what they quote as ""proof"" is a line translated incorrectly and likely in bad faith in a side game, or just straight up fanfic. My friend group encounters this so much that we have a name for this phenomenon.

Manfred Von Karma is an abusive father

the fandom says that manfred von karma is canonically an abusive father. he literally isn't.

Manfred von Karma was not a child abuser

Manfred von Karma is a child abuser

manfred von karma beat his kids

these motherfuckers make up SO MUCH DUMB SHIT all the time but the one that kills me most is that they have a widely based fanon that manfred von karma is abusive when it's completely up to interpretation in the games. he's just a mean bitch and a murderer so they decided he beats/grooms/emotionally neglects his kids too and its so boring i took this to another blog and so did a lot of others in the fandom, the ""misinterpreted blorbo""/""he would not fucking say that"" bracket. immediately the mod was FLOODED with these people claiming that i was straightup lying, WITH MORE LIES. the most insane thing i saw was someone said that manfred allegedly burned letters that miles sent to phoenix when they were separated. not only did phoenix never send letters in canon (popular headcanon) but manfred most certainly was never said to have intercepted them! they were literally quoting wrightworth fanfiction they had read or some shit. its so fucking weird. people who see him as just kind of a silly murder dad with a really fucked up place in the story literally get called abuse apologists. and then when we're like 'BRO WHERE IS THE ABUSE' the other side is just like. 'play the game lol!!!!' meanwhile i, autistic, have played it 546445 times and half the people arguing with me watched one LP in like 2013 and have subsisted entirely off of twitter fanon and ao3 every since. please let me exit this hell

Manfred von karma abuses his kids

manfred von karma was abusive reasons it is false: he most definately was not the one line of ""proof"" (from a dubiously canon source) was a mistranslation from japanease to english von karma did not call miles worthless he called him inexperienced yes von karma is a horrible man but he was not a bad father

[bubblesandgutz]

Every Record I Own - Day 829: Merzbow / Man Is The Bastard Noise Voice Pie

I got a bunch of new followers over the weekend on account of a couple of my backyard selfies... which is very flattering. Thanks y'all, and welcome.

So it seems like a good time to offer up a quick re-introduction and statement of purpose.

Hi, I'm Brian. I'm a 47-year-old musician. I play in a few different bands/projects. I'm a gay man who's married to my partner of 25+ years. I mostly use this blog to write about my record collection. I used to be a music writer but got bummed out on music criticism and burned out on the hustle of being a freelancer. But I still like talking about records and promoting stuff that l like. So here we are. And yes, occasionally I'll throw a thirst trap into the mix.

I have been on tour most of 2024 so I've been largely absent here. But since I'm actually home at the moment, let's quickly talk about this split LP between Japanese noise artist Merzbow and Californian powerviolence-turned-noise unit Man Is The Bastard / Bastard Noise (here conveniently billed as Man Is The Bastard Noise). My roommates got me this LP as a birthday present back in 1996. Admittedly, I was more into the powerviolence roots of Man Is The Bastard than the caustic white noise assault on either side of this LP, but this record was also a nice little introduction to the world of noise.

For me, this kind of visceral and tactile tone exploration is generally more exciting in the live setting than on record. Wrangling electric chaos into something resembling expressionistic art just translates better when you watch it happen in real time. Though the adrenaline rush of this kind of music isn't quite as powerful on record, there's still something exhilarating about these kinds of records when they're done well.

While Voice Pie initially got spins at home when I wanted something on the stereo but didn't want the distraction of actual songs, I eventually found that it was actually a really good record to listen to while hungover. For whatever reason, music that is intensely rhythmic or repetitive makes me feel extra ill when I'm headachy and nauseous. But walls of static and square wave buzzes? That's somehow soothing.

Maybe not the best record to scope out if you're just here for speedo pics. But hey, ya never know...

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2024: #19

19. CZECHIA Aiko - "Pedestal" 28th place

Decade Ranking: 67/153 (Above LPS, below TBA)

PUT! MAH! SELF! ONAPEDESTUL

Every once in a while, you're thrown a curveball that you don't quite know how to respond to. Aiko is one of mine.

Imagine someone who was the surprise winner of their NF because they ran out of breath three seconds into the performance.

Imagine that someone becoming the butt of many joke due to their proven lack of vital capacity over the next months, being ruled out as a qualifier immediately.

Imagine that someone going into the semi dead last in the betting odds, and still looking very much like a sitting duck because she decided to go topless with clamps that looked exactly like nipples? It became a question not of qualification but of whether she would hit double digit points.

Imagine that someone getting sicc'ed an "As We Reach The Equinox"-style narrative by the producers in the previews where "she and her dancers represent the five stages of grief, with Aiko being ~acceptance~" (BULLSHIT! UP TO YOUR EARS!! -- Scout Cloud Lee), foreshadowing a nonsense cover-up for a weak performance.

Imagine that someone then delivered a GOOD live and ALMOST QUALIFIED WITH IT?

Like what the actual FUCK?! Latvia qualifying was shocking enough, but Aiko wasn't far off in terms of pure WTH factor. Ahmad needs to stop, he's putting most of these foolish HoDs to fucking shame with these left-field glow-ups. First Domi, then Vesna, now this? Christ.

It doesn't feel like such a turnaround should be possible. It's similar to how Andrea almost qualified in 2022, but that was due to aggregate weirdness. Andrea was never reaching the final with genuine results. Aiko's 11th place in the semi was a genuine result.

And I mean, why not? I always liked "Pedestal". It was the of Aiko's vocal.... um... challenges, and where they would inevitably lead that hampered me from fully embracing it. The hook is SO fun and the track is pure unfiltered britrock with Avril undertones. A perfect break-up anthem that converts screentime into Me-Time 💅.

The live performance was good. Not great, not outstanding, but solidly good. The staging, the camerawork, the break into the high note. Everything about it helped sell it.

But none of that compares to Aiko. It still hasn't sunk in that she... sang in tune? Nailed the high note? Served? HAIRFLIPS, CHOREOS, FIERCENESS GALORE? ALL OF THOSE THINGS? And made them look effortless too?

WHERE HAS THIS AIKO BEEN FOR THE PAST FIVE MONTHS?! If she had turned up earlier she would have been higher in the odds, given a better R/O spot and MADE THE FINAL!!!

Yeah, all of that juicy improvement hoodoo STILL wasn't enough to reach the final. Granted, SF2 was strong, and "Pedestal" had a terrible draw and was definitely outclassed by most of her competitors. But come on. If you're that much better than expected, you should be in the final. Not all of the qualifiers outclassed Czechia. Surely they could have been in over Georgia? I love Gåte dearly but I'd almost burn them for Aiko just for the thrill of having THREE crazy shock qualifiers from the semi of death. (and NRK eating humble pie).

I'm still not fucking sure how exactly I feel about Aiko but she was solidly good. Not as good as poor Sarah Bonnici, but we'll get there soon. if I compare her to the qualifiers that made it in, Nutsa is the only one I strongly prefer Aiko over (Israel and NL were locks anyway), and Nutsa at least broke an eternal NQ streak. Aiko's NQ undercuts the epicness of her sudden turnaround. I'm more flummoxed by her being good, rather than by how good she was, so let's park her here for now and move on.

BUT AT LEAST SHE WON WHERE IT MATTERS.

Ugh they're so perfect together, I HATE THEM!! jk. LOVE THIS, obvi. 😍 Getting over toxic pole by taking a slice of wholesome clam. Living the story of her song in real life, when will YOUR faves (mine => all the time as you'll see). Slay bitches ♥

THE RANKING

[teapartypenguin]

Luna's deck sucks, here's how to fix it

So I've got a lot to say about Ruka/Luna and her role in the story, mostly how I think it could have been better. But I'll start with the first way that the writers fail Luna: her deck.

If you play the TCG, you may already know that Luna is one of the few main cast duelists that never got an archetype associated with her. By this point in the franchise, every character has their own archetype or two associated with them, yet Luna doesn't use any archetype specific cards (unless you count Kuribon). She has a loose fairy forest type theme that is a mix of plants, fairies, and beasts. This isn't too out of the ordinary for characters, Akiza also had no real archetype during the series (just a lot of plant/rose themed cards), but she and most others in that state got some sort of archetype retroactively made around their deck (in Akiza's case, the Rose Dragons). Luna has not received any support.

Luna's ace monster is Ancient Fairy Dragon, who in the series, she had a strong connection to. And despite being the weakest attack wise of the Signer dragons, AFD's effect gave her the strongest counter against the Earthbound Gods in the first arc (which is why she had to get written out for most of it). In fact, this effect would be so strong that AFD would get banned irl for several years until the card got an errata. And possibly because of this, AFD is still the ONLY Signer dragon to never get an upgraded form.

Now let's talk about Luna's duel against Professor Frank. This is Luna's first showing as a duelist especially after being hyped up as a former dueling prodigy. Even with the very loose deck, there is a bit of a strategy there. Luna use Ancient Forest to attempt to lock her opponent out of attacking, then uses life point gain and loss effects to slowly burn her opponent. Eventually the duel ends in a draw with Luna using Oberon's Prank in combo with Kuribon's LP gain effect. And that is the end of the ONLY solo duel Luna gets in the series.

Looking back on this duel after having finally played Yugioh, I had the sudden realization that Oberon's Prank was an anime only card with an awful effect made just so Luna could force a draw. Oberon's Prank is a trap card that makes it so that any LP gain effects used on your opponent are negated, and both players take damage equal to the LP that would have been gained. The closest equivalent to Oberon's Prank irl is Bad Reaction to Simochi, which only inflicts damage to the opponent. Simochi was also used by Luna in the World Championship games and is probably the intended way to use Kuribon's LP gain effect. So the only reason I can think for why they would write the duel in this way would be because they really wanted Luna to tie/lose. In a narrative sense, I get wanting to show that Luna is kind and would rather force a draw than let her opponent get eaten by a dragon. But also, she wasn't going to win the duel at that point, let her run Simochi and get a win. Or make it look like there was a choice in the matter.

(IMO, if the dragon wants to eat the creepy psychologist, soup's on.)

So if I were to fix Luna's deck, the first thing is giving her a Naturia/Vernusylph deck.

Naturia is a Synchro and Fusion focused deck that is composed of Earth attribute monsters with the goal of controlling the opponent's movements. A couple of the Naturia cards would have already been made by the time of 5Ds. Naturia works for Luna for a couple reasons; the control style is a good contrast to Leo's combo focused deck, they're a bunch of cute critters that fit the fairy forest theme Luna was going for, and the archetype's story itself is also related to the Naturia protecting their home forest (as Luna does for the card spirit world).

Their boss monster is also named Leo and I just think that's funny.

Maybe the writers did consider Naturia and decided against it for whatever reasons (didn't want another majority plant player after Akiza, knew Luna would be too much of a menace with Naturia Beast, wanted to save the cards for the Duel Terminal arcade game, etc.).

Supporting the deck further would be the Vernusylph archetype, which are a small archetype of Earth fairy monsters that offer support to other Earth monsters. They're a relatively new archetype so some effects may be a little strong for 5Ds era (especially Vera). But they fit into Naturia well and would have really solidified the fairy forest theme. Also them being Earth support in general means that they can support Powertool Dragon and many of Leo's Morphtronics in tag duels (also a couple of Team 5Ds use Earth monsters so it would make Luna fit well into a lot of tag duels). And despite being a Light attribute, AFD fits into the deck.

And another monster I think would fit would be Circle of the Fairies (also a relatively new card). This one throws off the Earth attribute focus a bit, but offers support for plants and insect types. Also more burn and LP gain effects for Luna. And it and the other Circular monsters keep up the fae theme being based around fairy circles.

That's my opinion on what Luna should play. It's not too late for Luna to get an associated archetype, there's a couple of characters who get different archetypes in later games, like Tea playing Witchcrafter in Duel Links and Blair getting Lightsworn in Tag Force. Or Ishizu who's deck retrains created one of the most powerful decks in history. AFD is also long overdue for an upgrade/support after being off the banlist for a couple years now. And so Konami should make Luna's deck absolutely broken as an apology.

[steveinscarlet]

Another Pyro-era Sounds article for your delectation (text under the cut)

IT'S BETTER TO BURNOUT than fade away

GEOFF BARTON ignites DEF LEPPARD and stands well back

RECOGNISE THE headline to this feature? It's a phrase intoned by Def Leppard vocalist Joe Elliott at the beginning of 'Rock Of Ages', the awesomely anthemic and best track on the band's Friday-released third album, 'Pyromania'. In addition, the words are emblazoned for all to see on Joe's stylishly tatty UK tour T-shirt stagewear.

'It's better to burn out than fade away. A catchy slogan - and one that accurately defines the current Def Lep philosophy?

"Oh yeah." confirms Elliott. "I'd rather die at 25 than end up fat, old, bald and nowhere at 50."

But it's not really a 'hope I die before I get old' statement though, is it? I took it more to mean that it's better to go for broke than take a slow slide into obscurity.

Elliott mulls this point over for a couple of seconds. "I suppose you're right. And if you take it to to mean that, then it kind of relates our British tour, you know?

"Just because we're British we want to be big in Britain. But the fact is, the reality is, America's paying for us not to be big in Britain at the moment. 'Pyromania's doing great in the States; even our second album 'High 'N' Dry' is still selling well. But in Britain his voice trails off. "We're losing a heckuva lot of money here. We're going to lose £50,000 just by playing 11 gigs. It's ridiculous..."

"If we were businessmen, only in it for the money like some people think we are, then faced with that kind of financial disaster we'd probably go, uh-uhl No way! But, contrary to popular belief, we've never been like that. If the money comes in, great, if it doesn't, OK, at least we're having a good time doing what we're doing. If I had been in it just for the money I'd have left the band two-and-a-half years ago, when I first realised how difficult it really is to keep your head above water In this business."

Elliott gets momentarily mournful. "It's not worth it. It's terrible. If we actually were selling out we'd just say, 'Up yours, Britain, stuff ya!" He shoves his middle finger In the air for effect. "We wouldn't play one gig here and we'd be £50,000 better off. That's £10,000 for each member of the band, which is a deposit on a house, whatever..."

It's a matter of pride." Sitting in the bar of an Edinburgh hotel, a couple of hours after the Def Ones' gig at the Playhouse, you can't help but feel for Elliott. The guy craves for success and acceptance in his home country, you can see the hunger and, yes, desperation in his eyes. But at the moment that gleaming, glittering goal seems light years away. Unreachable. Unobtainable. Impossible.

As I said in my recent review of the 'Pyromania' LP, the reasons for Def Leppard's current, apparently untenable UK position have been well documented. No HM fan worth his salt should be unaware of the band's spectacular rise to fame and abrupt fall from grace or of the part played by a certain hard-hearted rock journalist as the so-called instigator of the whole sorry affair.

Can just one slag-off article have caused such a dramatic change of fortune? Or was it just one negative element amidst a whole heap of other minus factors? I know the right answers to these questions and I think Joe Elliott does too, otherwise we'd be tearing at each other's throats instead of sitting here sensibly, semi-tearfully,

attempting to right some of those wrongs.

"Trouble is," continues Elliott, "now is a terrible time to try and re-establish yourself as a band. It's not hard rock time any more, is it? That was 1979, 1980, let's face it."

Right. The ol' metal scene definitely seems to have peaked. When 'Big Al Lewis and I first launched Kerrang! the joint was jumpin' with dynamite bands, great albums, killer commitment and boundless enthusiasm. But now there's been a definite downturn. The hot new acts, with one or two honourable exceptions. just don't seem to be coming through any more and the old guard's constant games of musical chairs (Gillan 'n' Sabbath? Do me a favour!!) make everything seen faintly ludicrous.

"Plus people can't afford to go to as many gigs as they used to," says Elliott, making an equally pertinent point."

"Now they just save their money for the big tours your AC/DCs and Queens and the like. They haven't got the dough to see bands like us out of interest, like they used to in the old days. People might be thinking, Hey. I wonder what Def Leppard are like live these days? But they haven't got the readies to find out. They've just got to keep wondering.

And just in case you were.

ONLY 700 People in the Edinburgh Playhouse this Tuesday night. A doctor's just poked down Joe Elliott's throat and diagnosed acute laryngitis.

Support act Rock Goddess are kicking up a storm but are only garnering a polite, vaguely blase reception. It's cold. Echoey. The atmosphere is far from electric. The situation is far from ideal.

But I've I've been stuck behind my hi-rise executive desk for too long to become depressed or downhearted.

And the Leps, it seems, have much the same attitude. Show opener 'Rock! Rock! (Till You Drop) sounds very much like a statement of intent, a plan of attack, the band obviously aiming to recreate the scene of desolation painted on their (creased-up) stage backdrop out front in the auditorium.

As the set progresses it steadily dawns on you what an incredible wealth of quality material these youthful Leppard cubs have at their disposal. From fist-clenching skull- cleavers like 'Rock Brigade' and 'Let It Go', through the cleavers like Rock beefy, barbarous ballads 'Bringin' On The Heartbreak' and 'Overture', to the breathless steamhammer sounds of 'Wasted' and 'Rocks Off', the group are unquestioned masters of the art of good, strong, memorable HM songwriting.

Would that their stagework was equally irreproachable. While the collective Def dudes work well and hard on the boards, they still lack the distinction and sheer, superior presence of their peers.

The addition of Phil Collen on guitar (replacing Pete The Midget Willis, who used to go offstage during shows to hide behind his amps) is a definite step in the right direction, although the ex-Girl axeman's zippy choice of performance costumery is too punky by half.

Hopefully the ebullient Collen will bring his counterpart strummer Steve 'Steamin" Clark out of his shell. The unrecognised compositional lynchpin of the band, to my mind Clark needs to cultivate and build upon his soundcheck style, where I saw him posing fag-handed and moody, like some taciturn, sunken-cheeked Keefalike.

Slimline Joe Elliott, also, is still a far from ideal frontman. Tonight he over-compensates for his bad throat by flinging himself about the stage like a man possessed. He also does some very silly things, like picking Collen's guitar strings with his teeth, climbing a lighting rig to shine a white spotlight over the crowd and making a Dave Lee Roth-style splits leap from the drum riser at the end of the show.

However, Def Leppard are still an incredibly young band; plus, prior to this current series of British dates, they'd been off the road for all of 14 months. Their stagecraft can only improve. And when it matches the quality of the music the result'll music be devastating

MEANWHILE, back at the hotel and our regularly-scheduled interview. Elliott and myself are chatting more genially. The solemnity that tainted the start of our conversation is slowly beginning to ebb away..

So tell me about 'Rock Of Ages'. Its basic, stompalong sound reminds me of Judas Priest's "Take On The World', although it's nowhere near as crass..

"Yeah you know, we've re-christened 'Rock Of Ages' Another One Bites The Stroke' by Joan Jett's Rainbow! People've got to realise that we're taking the piss not out of the audience, but out of ourselves, out of 'anthems' in general. We've always been renowned for anthems, what with 'Rock Brigade', 'Let It Go', 'Rocks Off', you name it, we've got so many we don't know what to do with them. But with 'Ages' we wanted to bring a bit of fun back into it, put our tongues in our cheeks slightly. I don't know, I just got the feeling that things were were becoming too po-faced, too serious. This is the entertainment business, after all, and you can't entertain people unless you're enjoying what you're doing yourself."

"It's like tonight. I was sick. I know for a fact that I didn't sing particularly well, but I enjoyed it. I got a buzz back from the crowd, it made feel good. I've never been one of those singers who, all due respect to David Coverdale, who's a brilliant vocalist, I could never touch - just stands there and sticks his cock in people's faces. I want to smile, I want to be happy, I don't want to prowl around the stage all stern and grim-faced. Singing 'Rock Of Ages', I try to bring that sort of feeling across." Do you think Def Leppard were guilty of taking things too seriously at the early part of their career?

'Yes, definitely. But when you're as young as we were when we started out you can fall into loads of traps, which I admit we did. Mind you, at the time I was sure we were doing the right things; around the time we first started getting knocked God couldn't have told me I was wrong.

"Now I realise, yeah, alright, the first album 'On Through The Night' was a load of shit. It was very representative of the band for six weeks; six weeks after it came out it was true to our sound, afterwards we weren't anything like that any more. I learnt to sing, the band got better..."

"We've always been able to write good songs that first LP has some great numbers on it, they just weren't that well played, recorded or sung. Our second album 'High 'N' Dry' I can still listen to. Yeah, I think that's a good LP.

And 'Pyromania'?

'Pyromania' I'd like to be regarded and revered like Montrose's first album in the years to come. I'd like it to be awarded the same kind of stature. Whether it will or not don't know, but without wishing to come across all big headed. I seriously think 'Pyromania' is one of the best recorded LPs I've ever heard

For which kudos must go to producer 'Mutt' Lange.. surely and indisputably the reigning king of HM in-studio knob-twiddlers. Elliott is also quick to quick to credit Lange for an inestimable improvement in the vocal department.

"Mutt's really patient" relates Elliott. "he does take into consideration that I haven't got the talent of Lou Gramm or Robert Plant, he just tries to bring out in my voice what I'm capable of but what I wouldn't do myself because I'd get fed up with trying. If I was in charge of recording vocals I'd probably pack it in after six attempts but Mutt'll keep me going for twelve, It's painful and I hate him for it at the time. but when I listen to the end result I'm proud because know that's me at my best. It's the best I can do.

GOING back to what you were saying earlier, about it not being hard rock time any more, how do you see the genre developing in the future? Is there another sudden upswing on the horizon? Or will we be in the doldrums for years to come?

"It's very 1969 now, isn't it?" comments Elliott. "All these bands with names ending in -ER are are coming back! It's like everything is growing old again. I don't know. I guess what we really need is an audience that'll accept a band that looks like Duran Duran but sounds like Saxon. That's the next step because, let's face it, Duran Duran look amazing. And if a heavy rock version of Simon Le Bon and company is possible then, who knows, could be on the way to recreating the spirit of "74,"

You're talking about an early Eighties version of the Sweet?

"Could be, could be... because, thinking about it, by today's standards of pop music, the Sweet were heavy metal! 'Blockbuster. 'Ballroom Blitz... that is definitely heavy metal compared to Depeche Mode, Spandau Ballet and the Belle Stars."

What do you think about Hanoi Rocks' chances?

"If they only sounded as good as they look, they could be in with a shot. But at the moment they're too much like the New York Dolls. That's not to say that I never liked the Dolls, but I can't really see a pastiche of their music getting chart success in 1983. If Hanol Rocks practised, they'd be great. Maybe in two or three years...

But if Joe Elliott's vision of the future is accurate, then where does this leave Def Leppard? Is a quick trip down the Kajagoogoo instant image clinic in order?

"No," laughs Elliott, his depression now fully dissipated, "of course not! I've just got this gut feeling that, whatever happens, one day we will do it in Britain, on our own terms. We'll have a hit single, the crowds will start coming to gigs, the albums will begin selling..."

"I don't want to sound arrogant, but I I know I'm right."

He's got to be.