#Left Hip Pain During Early Pregnancy

[dr-aashish-arbat-pune]

Sleeping Positions for Hip Pain While Pregnant

Here get detailed info on: Sleeping Positions for Hip Pain While Pregnant. Learn about, Hip Pain During Pregnancy 3rd Trimester. Left Hip Pain During Early Pregnancy. Know, How to Relieve Hip Pain During Pregnancy? From Dr. Aashish Arbat… Top Orthopedic Doctor in Pune. Top Hip Replacement Doctor in Pune.

[shhhsecretsideblog]

[Labor Denial, inconvenient birth] Imagine for a moment you're a professor at prestigious college. It's just the beginning of the final exam period of the year and your huge swell of twin belly has proven difficult to maneuver in your 38th week of pregnancy. Braxton hicks are a constant plague on you during the first and second day of finals and by the end of the third you're certain your belly has lowered a bit. At the end of the fourth day as you get ready for bed, a new and strengthened pain takes hold of your overstretched bump. It lasts longer than any braxton you had before, your belly even feels harder beneath your palms as it progresses.

You are still two weeks out from being full term and your doctor assured you that your babies had no interest in making an early appearance. Besides, there was no way you could miss the last day of exams, your employers would hardly approve.

In your mind, you decide these are just mildly more intense braxtons. Nothing more. You keep telling yourself this as the walk into the first test of the final day with a distinct, new pressure building in your low abdomen. You keep telling yourself it's nothing as you absentmindedly rock your hips during the first exam. You don't bother timing these pains; no need to time braxton hicks contractions. You ignore the growing pressure as students submit their exams. You ignore the slight wetness between your thighs when they shuffle out. You ignore the pain flaring in your hips as you shuffle to the next exam room.

All you need is to get through the next six hours of exams, go home, and get some rest. These pains were just the product of stressful times of exam season...

Keep Calm & Carry On

AN: thanks for a great prompt anon! Fpreg, labour denial, clothing birth. 2538 words.

Letting out a short grunt, I cup the underside of my low and heavy belly and arduously push myself up out of the chair. Being so heavily pregnant at the end of the school year, two babies wrestling in my belly, was no joke. Each week during my third trimester brought forth a new ache or pain and as I approached my due date I was regretting not taking early maternity leave. But the university was having staffing issues, there were barely enough faculty members to cover all the end of year exams as it was without me taking early leave. Plus I couldn’t exactly bow out now at this late notice. I couldn’t do that to all the students, they’d worked so hard.

So I grit my teeth and persevered through the long week of exams, through all the aches and pains and practice contractions. Only a few hours left on the final day and soon I would be at home resting for the double arrival. As I reached the exit of the now-empty exam room I had to pause and grab the door frame when another braxton hicks rippled across my taut skin. A groan slipped from my mouth and my knees slightly dipped as the wave built and built before eventually peaking with a lightning bolt of pain to my crotch. “Ooohhhhh… you need to s-stop t-this…” I muttered to the babies in my belly. “I know you’re practising for the main event but jeeze… mnnhhh… please just give me a break for a few hours.”

Unusually, the babies seemed to respond to my plea and after a particularly strong movement, with one baby’s head nestling deep within my pelvis, they settled quietly in my belly. “Phew, thank you. We’ll be done soon, I promise.” I dropped off the papers from my previous exam in the designated tray in the teachers lounge and picked up the stack of booklets for my next exam. After taking a quick breather, drinking some water and dampening the sweat from the back of my neck, I began the trek to my next exam in the hall on the other side of campus.

My body seemed to be practising for labour every few minutes at this point, each wave forcing me to stop and brace against a solid surface and breathe my way through them. I was grateful the students were all in their examination halls so the campus was empty, no one to see me hunched over my bump leaning against a wall.

“Hooohooo… oof! Come on babies, this is getting anno— annoying now—!” The weight between my legs was ever increasing, my waddle so distinctively wide it was almost comical, if not for the pressure and pain that came with it. I couldn’t stop the growl rumbling in my throat as my entire belly turned to stone and squeezed hard. The stack of booklets trembled in my hands and I was panting heavily. I wanted to go home, fighting these pains all day was draining all my energy, but I just couldn’t abandon the students. When the pain passed I fixed my expression and walked as determinedly as I could towards my next shift, my free hand rubbing the constant ache in my lower belly.

When I got to the exam I grit my teeth through the roll call and amazingly managed to walk up and down the rows of students to hand out the test papers, but my ability to stay standing was wavering fast and I plumped down on the chair behind the moderator's desk with a humph. My hands naturally gravitated towards my belly, my fingers splayed each side across the tensing swell, and I took measured deep breaths.

“Are you alright, Miss?” One of the students asked.

“Hmm? Oh, yes I’m fine.” I tried to reassure the student and keep my eyes from closing as the wave continued to build. “Y-you may turn over your papers and begin.”

The contraction built to astronomical heights and my face scrunched, silently bearing the pain of the worst braxton hicks yet. There was just so much pressure, my pelvis was screaming at me. Unconsciously my legs were wide beneath the table, my belly sitting heavily between my thighs, my hips tilting outwards in my slumped position. Thankfully the wooden desk had a modesty panel so the students could not see beneath the table or view my ridiculously widened legs.

One of the baby’s felt so damn low, as if one good sneeze would shoot them out, but I was sure the heaviness was simply a common feeling for being this advanced with twins. It couldn’t be as low as it felt, I’d have to be in labour for that, which I was not.

As time ticked on I barely noticed my body’s subtle movements, trying to keep my concentration focused on the students and their exam, ignoring all the aches and pains that my body was subjecting me to. I wasn’t even aware of when I started rocking forward and back in my chair, or when I lifted my hips off the seat…? Unconsciously I’d pushed my weight forward onto the desk, leaning on my forearms and elbows, subtly lifting my backside and easing the fiery ache building in my pelvis. God, this chair was torturous, I couldn’t find any position that didn’t make me want to scream.

Eventually I gave up on sitting, resorting instead to pacing the room keeping one firm hand pressed into my lower back while the other lifted my heavy belly. The students paid no attention, focusing on the exam papers, all too used to the moderators patrolling around the room and monitoring for any cheating.

The walking was helping the aggressive pains in my hips but it felt like the movement was bringing the baby down even lower. My breaths came thick and fast, my constant movements tiring my body but I couldn’t bear to sit back down in that chair. Another wild pain lashed across my middle and I was forced to stop my pacing, thankfully while I was at the back of the hall behind all the students facing the other way. My belly tightened, urgent and sharp, and I nearly doubled over but instead threw both palms out in front and braced against the wall. My hips were making wild circular motions that I couldn’t control and somewhere in the depths of my mind was a calling to squat down.

Fighting against my body’s instincts I clamped my mouth shut and panted through my wide nostrils. Fuck, it felt like one of the baby’s was coming out… but that couldn’t be right… I wasn’t in labour. But— but then why did I feel a need to push?! I glanced up at the clock, no phones were allowed in the exam hall, and saw I still had two more hours to go.

Two hours, I could do that. Even if I was in labour, a twin birth would take a long time. Everything was fine. I paced along the back wall of the exam hall, my fingers brushing the plasterboard keeping constant contact with a nearby surface to keep myself grounded and stable. Up and down I waddled, restless in my taut and tired skin. The waves crashing through my uterus every few minutes were creeping towards agony and I was finding it harder to stay silent. Just a few hours. That’s all I had to do. But the weight and pressure was sinking lower by the minute and I was having to bite down on my fist to refrain from groaning.

With just over an hour to go I noticed a hand go up at the front of the sea of students. Reluctantly I left my haven at the back of the room and waddled painfully down the row towards the person in question.

“Have you got any spare pens? Mine has run out.” They asked, their eyebrows pinching at seeing my exhausted and sweaty state. “Mmngg— sure.” I managed to grit and went back to my desk for the extra stationary. After providing the student with extra pens I barely made it back to the desk before the next contraction struck, a deep low groan escaping from my mouth as I curled forward and braced the wooden frame, my hips swaying instinctively against the pain.

“Oh my gosh Miss, are you okay?” One student asked in a panic. My only response was another deep groan, louder this time, as I battled the urgent squeezing that was shoving a baby’s head through my cervix.

“Shit! She’s having her baby!” One student cried out.

I shook my head frantically, trying to keep some semblance of control within the exam, despite the incessant tensing and building pressure. “It— it’s fine. Everyone back to your tests.” I tried to assure the students, even though I couldn’t move from my position gripping the desk. “I… it’s possible I’m in labour but… just carry on with your final exam okay. Labour takes hours, it’s— ooooh— it’s nothing to worry about.” The grin plastered on my face was entirely false, the pressure building between my thighs was telling me I might not have as long as I’d hoped.

Instead, when the contraction waned, I stood up and confidently sat back down at the desk and shuffled papers mindlessly and eventually the students went back to their exams. These babies were coming, I could feel it, the giant boulder in my pelvis was almost certainly one of the heads burrowing its way out of me. I straightened up, blocking any exit with the seat of the chair. Just an hour to go, I was going to make it.

I lasted 10 minutes before my determination faltered, the urge to push returning with a vengeance. There was no stopping it, my only hope was the uncomfortable but strategic position on the chair. As soon as the contraction began tightening my womb my body was bearing down uncontrollably. My head dipped, my chin to my chest, my fingers white knuckling the desk as I pushed. Fuck. The head was moving down, I could feel it as it inched lower towards the exit. I barely had time to catch my breath before my body pushed again, hard, fully leaning into the contraction and bringing this baby out whether I wanted to or not.

Through the incessant contractions and the desperate urgency of these babies to be born, I held fast to my position on the chair, blocking any exit with the seat. I was granted only a short reprieve before the next contraction struck and I was back to my silent pushing. I couldn’t make a noise, couldn’t distract the students from their graduating exam, but I also couldn’t do anything else to delay or stop the birth. I was trapped in this never ending cycle of pain. The head was right at my opening, bulging my sensitive lips into my underwear. I wanted to scream, to cry, to open my legs, but I couldn’t. One glance at the clock told me there was only 20 minutes left of the exam. I could make it.

My babies however, were not too keen on following my schedule, and even with my upright position I could feel myself opening around the head. This baby wanted out and it wanted out now. When the burning started I couldn’t help but widen my legs, throwing each thigh over the edges of my seat. My body kept on pushing, through every grievous wave of pain that squeezed my middle, and I couldn’t stop myself from pushing in earnest. The grunt that echoed my throat caught the attention of a few students at the front and I tried to offer a reassuring smile, desperately hiding the fact the head of one of my babies was crowning into my underwear.

When I let go of the push the baby retreated and sighed in relief. But this was short lived as I was back to pushing again barely a minute later. Fuck! I had no phone, a room full of students, and two babies that were desperate to get out of my body. In the short break between pushes the high-pitched ding of a bell sounded signalling the end of the exam. Everyone in the room looked up at me. My chest was heaving with laboured breaths, I gulped and managed to say “Pens down everyone. P-please leave your papers on your d-desks and exit the hall…”

The scratching of chairs on hardwood floors echoed the room as the students stood up and left the exam hall via the door at the back of the room. I was supposed to have collected each paper before dismissing them but there was no way in hell I could stand up. The next contraction was upon me before all the students left and I panted my way through the squeezing urgency of my rock-hard belly.

The crown of the baby’s head was getting bigger and bigger and the second the final student left, the door closing behind them, I let out a deep primal groan that I had been stifling for the past few hours. The head came to a full crown in my underwear and I sobbed and squirmed as everything burned white hot. Out. I needed this baby out of me!!!! With a forceful grunt I disappeared into a deep earnest push and birthed the head of my first child into my knickers.

“Mnnnnghhh… ohh god…. It’s out— the head…. Oh fuck…” With a trembling hand I felt the bulge of my trousers and the head that now sat at the apex of my thighs. “Why couldn’t you wait… just a bit longer guys?!” Before I could form any sort of plan or thought, another tightening rippled across my belly and I knew there was no stopping what was about to happen. Gripping the edge of my seat I bore down with everything that I had, the shoulders stretching me as wide as the head, and I wailed as I threw my head back.

“Oh my gosh Miss Jones…?” A voice came from the other side of the hall. I opened my eyes to see the headmistress in the doorway. “Grrrhhhh… babies are coming—!!!” I grunted and roared, pushing the shoulders out which was immediately followed by the torso of the first baby slipping out and down my trouser leg.

My colleague and boss rushed across the hall to me, wide eyed and panicking. “You poor dear, why didn’t you tell us you were in labour?” She asked, helping me pull the waistband of my trousers down so I could get to my newborn babe.

I couldn’t speak, in too much shock and trembling, an instinctual need to hold my baby was the only thing I was capable of. The infant immediately gurgled and cried as I lifted them up and placed them on my chest, wiping their face and checking every inch of my new baby.

“You did it, goodness, you had your baby.” The head teacher muttered in awe.

“Yeah… but mnnggh… I’m having twins, remember.” I grumbled, as I felt my womb contract again…

[bellaxgiornata]

With Care

Pairing: Frank Castle x Pregnant!Reader Word Count: 1.5k [Collection Masterlist]

Warnings/tags: little bit of hurt/comfort, lots of soft Frank and fluff

Summary: Pregnancy comes with some unpleasant symptoms, but luckily for you Frank is always there to care for you.

a/n: I always crave a soft Frank and I personally believe he'd be such a comforting partner during pregnancy, so I had to write this little thing. Feedback is always appreciated!

Collection Tag List: @danzer8705 @glowstick-lesbian @flowher @geminadeckerwritesstuff @shiorimakibawrites @beezusvreeland @ebathory997 @maryyymothhh @4happilyeverafter @sleepysleepymom @kezibear @charmedkim @midnightramble @carolinaxvz @1988-fiend @marcysbear

Hugging your pregnancy pillow closer to your body, the weight of your baby bump supported on top of it, you contentedly sighed. Despite the pain in your hips and your lower back, you were comfortable–or at least, as comfortable as you could be at thirty-two weeks pregnant. 

Eyes drowsily opening a fraction as you shifted your weight a little more towards your back, you were met with a bit of sunlight trickling past the cream colored curtains. Judging by the muted color of the light you could tell it was still quite early in the morning. As you lay there partially awake enjoying the stillness of the hour, you became further aware of the growing stiffness in your hips from another night of laying on your side, your lower back already aching from a night of sleeping in the same position. Though the rhythmic sound of Frank’s breathing coming from behind you, his exhales steady and even as he slept, helped to comfort you. 

Still not quite ready to wake just yet, your tired eyelids lowered once more as you nuzzled your face back into your pillow. Moving along the mattress again you continued to try and shift the pressure of the bed from off of your right hip, hoping to ease some of the persistent dull ache with a slightly different position. Stretching your leg out further across the pregnancy pillow wedged between both of your legs, you prepared to fall back asleep–until a sharp pain abruptly tore through your left calf, shooting itself straight up the entirety of your leg. Eyes flying wide open instantly, a surprised yelp flew out of you before you could stop it. The muscle of your left calf began to constrict into a tight ball, the pain worse than any muscle cramp you'd ever experienced before. 

A sharp hiss of pain burst through your teeth as you tried to raise your leg within reach of your hands, desperately hoping to massage the muscle, but raising your leg only increased the pain shooting through it and your baby bump only proved to be an obstacle in your way. With a whimper you turned your head and succumbed to the inevitable pain, burying your face into your pillow as tears burned at your eyes. You hated these random leg cramps that had begun to torment you in the final weeks of your pregnancy. They were impossible to stop once they started, and they left your muscle tight and sore for days afterwards. 

“‘S’goin’ on?” Frank's sleep-slurred voice came from behind you. “Sweetheart? You good?”

The muscle in your calf began to loosen minutely, the momentary break in pain giving you an opportunity to respond. 

“Leg cramp,” you gasped out, partially unburying your face from your pillow. “Hurts.”

You felt the bed shift behind you, but the intense pain was quickly returning once more. Snapping your eyes shut, you grit your teeth as the muscle once more contracted into a tight ball within your calf. With your hands useless to reach the sore spot, you once more buried your face into the pillow, teeth grinding together as you prepared to ride out the burning in your calf. But as you lay on your side, body tensed in preparation for the pain, you felt the bed sheets suddenly pulled off of you. Before you could open your eyes or even respond, you felt Frank's large, warm hands on your calf.

“Left one again?” he asked.

“Mhmm,” you hummed out, nodding vigorously against your pillow.

Frank's hands immediately set to work, gently massaging the tight, constricted muscle in your calf with undeniable care and tenderness. You tried your best to hide your discomfort as he massaged the spot, teeth still tightly grit together. Eventually you felt the muscle gradually loosen again under his attention, but you knew with these damned cramps that the pain wasn't gone, not quite yet–but Frank’s big fingers pushing diligently into the muscle certainly helped.

You managed to take one deep breath in before another wave of the pain came back, the muscle tensing once more beneath his fingers. This time though the warmth of his hands helped to soothe the intense burn as it came on. As he worked, your own hands clutching the bed sheets, you caught the sound of a noise vibrating within his throat.

“Tight son of a bitch,” he muttered. “Can imagine that don't feel too good.”

“No,” you miserably croaked out.

As you lay there on the bed, Frank's strong fingers continued to tenderly work out the growing tension in your calf. It was a few moments before you finally blew out a long, slow breath as you felt the pain gradually beginning to lessen, your eyelids finally opening as you unburied your face from your pillow. Despite knowing the aftermath of the cramp would be a tightness and a sharp ache which would linger for days because of your previous experience with them, you could tell the worst of it was finally over. 

Body somewhat relaxing now that the immediate pain had passed, your gaze landed on where Frank stood at the side of the bed in nothing but a pair of black boxers. His focus was on his hands kneading your calf, his eyes incredibly alert considering the abrupt wake up he'd just experienced. Silently you watched him meticulously massage your leg, his arm and chest muscles flexing with each movement as he did, your eyes transfixed by the way he moved. It was a few minutes before he noticed you were watching him, his gaze eventually meeting yours.

“Better?” he asked.

Biting your lip, you nodded. “Yes, thanks,” you replied quietly. 

His hands slowly stopped their kneading of your calf, your leg feeling vastly better after the massage he'd just given it. Carefully Frank reached past you, grabbing onto the bed sheets he had flung off of you minutes ago before gently pulling them back over the top of you, making sure you were once more covered and warm beneath them. 

Your eyes tracked his movements as he made his way down the side of the bed and back around it until your head couldn't turn any further. You soon felt the bed dip behind you as he climbed back into it.

“Sorry for waking you,” you murmured, your calf muscle stinging in the aftermath of the cramp. “I was trying not to bother you, but these spasms always take me by surprise. And they always hurt so damn bad.”

“Don't,” he said firmly behind you. “Don’t you dare apologize. I always tell you to say somethin’ if you need help. And you know I always mean it. I don’t like seein’ you strugglin’ or hurt, you know that.”

“I just always feel bad,” you admitted sheepishly. “You're always doing things for me–helping me out–especially now. I mean you do most of the cleaning now since I can barely get around. Take care of the laundry because I can't reach into the washing machine anymore. Grab my late night cravings from the store when I get cranky. I just feel like I’ve been a–”

“So help me, sweetheart, if I hear you call yourself a burden one more damn time,” Frank warned, one of his large hands coming to rest affectionately along your sore hip, “you're gonna get an earful ‘bout how much I dislike hearing you call yourself that. You got that?”

“Yeah, well–”

“You're not a burden,” he urged, talking over you as his large hand squeezed your hip. “You're growing our child in there. You're allowed to be tired or sore or in need of help. I don't mind ‘cause I care ‘bout both of you.”

Once more biting your lip, a slow smile slipped its way onto your face at his words, even if he'd said them in what you deemed his “grumpy voice.” Because you knew he meant what he said–Frank always spoke the truth to you.

Shifting your head over your shoulder, you called back, “Frank?” 

“Yeah?” he answered, clearly still wound up. 

Your hand landed on top of the one he had resting on your hip. Giving it a gentle, affectionate squeeze you whispered, “I love you, you bossy grump.”

An amused snort met your ears, the sound growing the smile on your face even wider. A breathy huff of a laugh left him before he responded in his gravely morning voice.

“Yeah, yeah,” he murmured, drawing his body carefully into the back of yours. He placed a soft, lingering kiss along the back of your shoulder before he whispered back, “I love you too, sweetheart. Now go back to sleep, it’s too goddamn early.”

You laughed lightly, settling more comfortably along the mattress with him at your back. The pain in your calf was a mere dull ache now that your focus was on Frank gently nuzzling his face into the back of your neck, his hand absently massaging your hip and soothing you right back to sleep.

[sickeninglyshoujo]

a/n: finally finished this after being left such an essay about dad!price by @connorsui that made me want to cry with joy that someone liked my silly rambling that much so now have dad!johnny

part 1: simon here

part 2: price here

part 4: gaz here

masterlist here

buy me a ko-fi

warnings: pregnancy

word count: 1.7k

Soap has always told you that he wanted a house full of babies with you and will not take no for an answer

You rolled your eyes everytime thinking he's exaggerating but he never was.

He tells you so during your romps “Gannae pump you full of babies, mama” With any other man it would ruin the moment but the way soap snarls it out sends heat spiraling through you and having you begging him to cum inside. He’ll wear the condom if you ask him to, but he won’t bring it out on his own volition. He knows you’re the person he wants to build a family with, has known since the first date when you rolled your eyes at all his corny jokes and groaned in mock pain.

Soap will not heed doctor’s advice and tries to palm at you before you’re ready, not even caring when you whine about things not being tight and firm like they used to be

“You’re positively bonnie lass, even more now that I know those stretch marks came from our baby that you carried for me.”

Feral for a man who calls me mama

Soap will absolutely come up behind you and grab at your flesh every time you put the baby down for a nap, “Cannae help myself lass,” he’d pant as he’s rutting against you, a man possessed,  “You’ve been teasing me all day!” Even though you don’t recall doing so

You’d been taking care of the baby all morning and hadn’t paid much mind to your hyper husband as he flitted around doting on you and the little one. Little did you know that’s what he meant. Seeing you be such a good mom and a mom to HIS baby had gotten him rock hard

It was tough for him to get through your pregnancy because each time he looked at your growing belly he got turned on 

“Johnny I’m already pregnant you know, we don’t have to keep trying,” you teased every time his hands began to wander down below your hips.

“Ah cannae help it, mama, you’re glowing!” He mutters trying to nuzzle under your shirt

Asked the doctor explicitly if pregnancy sex would hurt the baby. 

“Johnny!” You hissed

“Need to know if I have to behave myself for nine months lass”

Thankfully the good-humored doctor laughed at his requests. Johnny listened intently as the doctor discussed the pros and cons of both the act and different positions with his chin resting on intertwined fingers. Soap asked question after question about your limitations much to your horror.

Once the appointment was over and you two were safely confined into your flat again, his hands were on you before the door had even closed.

“You heard the doctor's orders, Mama.”

You laughed loudly at that, “I don’t think they’re doctor’s orders as much as yours!”

“Then listen to your sergeant and let him take care of you”

“Yes, sir.” 

Johnny was constantly stumbling over himself to try and help you with chores through the pregnancy. You move to wash a dish and he’s hopping up from the couch to plush the sponge from your hand before you’ve even wet it.

“I’ve got that love,” He constantly says, trying to herd you towards the couch, “Don’ even worry about it.”

You’d still hover each time, ensuring that he completed the chores to your satisfaction.

“Johnny! The yellow rags are for dusting! Not wiping up!” You fussed.

“It doesn’t matter! They all go in the wash the same!”

“It does matter! They’re color-coded so that they stay cleaner and we don’t go through so many!”

“Johnny,” You waddle into the bedroom one morning after getting up to get a cup of tea, “It’s time.”

“Time?” The tired man pulled his head up from where he’d buried it into his pillow, “Lass, is still early, come back to bed.”

“Johnny the baby’s not going to be born in the same bed it was conceived in.”

“Yer not due for weeks yet lass, she won’t be.”

“There’s a puddle in the kitchen that says otherwise.”

“A puddle?”

“Johnny, my water broke.”

He jerks his head up from the pillow, “It’s time?”

“Yes, Johnny, I have the bag, I just need you to get dressed and drive.”

He stumbles out of bed and shoves his legs into yesterday’s jeans from where they lay on the floor, he’s nearly to the door before you hold up a hand, “Shirt, Johnny, you’re going to the hospital. You need to put on a shirt.”

He looks down at his bare chest, “Shirt? Shirt,” He turns on his heel and scoops up yesterday’s shirt too before returning to you.

“Shoe’s, Johnny.”

Johnny grabs a pair of slides from the closet and you finally let him through, happy that he’s finally presentable for your daughter’s birth.

Johnny ends up pacing the room while you rest in the hospital bed, flipping through channels on the wall-mounted television, “Thought you said it was time lass.”

“It is,” you flip past game show, news, game show, soap opera.

“Then where is she? We've been here hours now.”

“They don’t just slide out, the body has to prepare itself to squeeze out a daughter who probably has as big a head as her daddy,” He doesn’t notice your insult, instead rubbing his hands over the stubble he hadn’t gotten to shave.

When Johnny see’s the baby crown, he faints.

Your big strong army man who had been through war and back fainted at the sight of his daughter entering the world and had to be woken up by an attending nurse, “Sir, you’re going to want to wake up, your baby’s coming now.”

He ends up on wobbly feet, deposited by the head of the bed this time where he surely won’t see anything to make him faint.

After the baby’s born he makes you promise that you won’t tell anyone on his team, particularly Ghost.

“I’ll never hear the end of it,” Soap begs, “L.t. would make it known base-wide before the day is out.”

You roll your eyes, “You don’t give Simon enough credit, he’s nothing but a gentleman to me.”

“Ya only say that because he hasn’t made you run drills! He’s a right mean bastard to me!”

Soap brings the baby on base to meet the 141 at your request after moaning that you didn’t want his team to see you when you were wearing mesh panties even if you were wearing pants over them. Soap loudly announced his arrival, depositing the large carrier onto the table in the briefing room.

“Here she is,” he coos at the baby in her carseat, pulling the blanket covering her off the carrier, “The latest addition to the Mactavish clan.”

“She’s so tiny!” Gaz can’t help but note, leaning forward. 

“Didn’ think you actually had the balls to make one of them,” Ghost starts.

“How’s the missus doing?” Price asks, leaning forward to offer his finger to the bundle who takes it and grasps it.

“Sore as all hell and still mad abou’ it,” Soap bemoans, “Keeps telling me about the frozen pads she’s wearing and that it’s my fault!”

“Frozen pads?” Gaz frowns at him, finally taking his eyes off the baby.

“Aye, the lass has cleared out half the freezer so her unmentionables can be kept below thirty two degrees at all times.”

“You’re in a hell of your own making Soap, she’ll be right as rain before long and yelling at you for something else you’ve done.”

“Hope you learned to wrap it for next time, Soap,” Gaz this time.

“The poor bastard came out of the womb as dumb as this and he’ll return the same way, he’ll have another baby before this one’s out of diapers.

After the baby’s born, he takes you and her on a flight to visit the Mactavish clan. He insists on holding the baby through the flight so you could nap. He also falls asleep with the baby in his arms and his head laying on your shoulder.

His sister’s crowd around you before you can even take your shoes off when you enter the house.

The energy in the Mactavish house is the same as Soap’s when he’s first off deployment and wired, full of energy and yelling. You silently send a thanks up to heaven that the baby was already awake and well-rested as there likely would be no keeping this family quiet.

Johnny’s mother fussed over you, smoothing your hair and holding your hand, apologizing already for something her son did.

“Ma!”

“Don’ ‘Ma’ me! You gave me hell growing up, I have to make sure you’re treating her well!”

Baby Mactavish grows to be a whirlwind like her father, constantly getting into cabinets you swore you baby-proofed, leaving piles of tupperware scattered on the kitchen floor.

“Sergeant John Mactavish if you don’t come get your daughter this second!” You yell into the house while you fight against your daughter’s grip of steel on the plastic spatula.

He skids into the kitchen and scoops up the baby, turning her over in the air and using the element of surprise to snatch the utensil from her chubby hands.

“Ah, dinnae be so mean to the bairn lass, she’s jus’ explorin’,” he continues turning her over and over until she’s weak with giggles.

True to his word, Johnny gets you pregnant within a year after you're medically cleared. This time a second and third baby on the way. At once. When you learned of the split embryo at the ultrasound you scowled at Johnny, “Now see what you’ve done, John Mactavish!”

“Ah promised it to you, remember,” He took your hand in his and planted kisses on the back, ignorant of the ultrasound tech pointedly keeping their eyes on the screen, “Toldja we’d have a house-full when we first started dating.”

“I didn’t think you meant two at once!”

Not to mention the dogs that lingered on the stoop. Or the barn cats that hung around the outbuildings. The highland cows that Johnny had begged you for. The donkeys that he rescued from a feedlot. None of them were in the plan. Mactavish, the devil he is, ruins all your plans.

a/n: reblogs/comments are most appreciated but i cherish every like too, someone please talk more about this to me

[romana-after-dark]

The Wrong Way: Chapter 3

Joel Miller X fem!Reader

Summery: You are sold to Joel to clear up some of your fathers' debts, and he takes you back to his house where him, Tommy, and high ranking members of his raiding trope stay. Joel is mean, cruel, and hash, but had small moments of softness that confuse you in your venerable state. Over time, you get to know him and Tommy, and see different sides of each, an both are hiding secrets. Was it possible to fall in love under these circumstances? Or was that just another way Joel was fucking with you?

WARNINGS FOR FULL FIC, NOT CHAPTER BY CHAPTER UNLESS SOMETHING NEW IS ADDED AFTER MASTER WARNING LIST: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!!!! Fic contains graphic depictions of sexual assault, rape, molestation, dubcon/non con. Blow Jobs, PIV sex, lose of virginity, sex trafficking, past incest, death/people dying everywhere, Stockholm syndrome, falling for your rapist, victim blaming, torcher, branding, physical abuse, rape (not Joel), somno, graphic depictions of violence, being turned on by violence, pregnancy, self-harm/depression/suicidal thoughts (not a lot)but fair warning, major age gap

This is a reader fic, reader is early 20's, Joel is 40's at this point, reader is small enough that the men can lift her, but these are strong men. Reader is also referred to as little one, little girl ETC, but that's more in reference to her age/innocence than physical size.

Please reread warnings, as they have been updated.

Chapter Summary: Joel softens, just a bit.

Pretty fucking proud of this chapter. Might be some of my best work yet.

This chapter is detacated to my friend @maura-honey i fucking love yoooouuuuuuuuuu she made a tumblr just to read my shit <3

******************

When you woke up that moring, Joels fingers were inside, lips on your neck… kissing…  something he’d never done with you before. He’d also never fingered you this much, he might give a few pumps at most to ease you in, but in generally Joel had no regard for your comfort when he was feral with you. You could hear how wet you were, none of the fear you usually had during sex holding you back because you were fast asleep. Hell, you could fucking smell how wet you were, Joel must’ve been fingering you for a while, because you knew you were about to cum. 

You couldn’t open your eyes, too tired, too sleepy, too exhausted. Memories of last night flooded in as you grew closer, you bodies pain bringing back specific memories. As you lay on your back, you start to remember, every prick of pain cueing a new memory as your exhausted body gave into Joel. Your burning scalp; he dragged you from the barn to the house, Tommy yelling at Joel to knock it off, holding you up. The rug burn on your neck that Joel didn’t seem to notice as he kissed and sucked hickies into it; Joel ripped your shirt open with one hand, your skin taking the bunt of the pain where his calloused hands clearly did not, exposing you to all the men watching hungrily. Your hips ached; you were bent over the table pounded into the edges. Your wrists; the handcuffs that dug into your skin. Your cunt, currently being abused again by Joel’s thick fingers, inside you, only saved from the brutal pain of a gang rape by Tommy’s mercy. And finally, your hip; Joel’s pelvis bucked as he gave you his own sick version of pleasure, but since you were on your back, his pants rubbed against the fresh wound where he branded his initials into your skin. 

“AH!” You shout, fully awake now at the searing pain in your side.

“Good morning, sunshine” Joel mutters softly into your neck. He was oddly tender today, was he trying to make you cum on his fingers? You didn’t have time to think much, it became clear he was still wearing jeans, and you butt naked from last night, Tommy’s clothes he left untouched on the floor that you were now wishing were on you as the rough material on him dug into you.

“Joel- no, Joel-ah! stop-” You tried to protest, brain still foggy, trying to move away, but he continued to grind into you, large body pinning you down. 

“You always say that, but you’re so fucking wet, little one” He pulled you closer, the seems of his crotch tearing open the damaged skin.

Joel thought this was your usual pleas, you began crying from the sting and burn on your hip as he stimulated himself on you. “No, not Joel it hurts, please” you sob, unable to speak clearly “Joel the- the burn- ugh!” You didn’t have it in your from stopping the sounds you made, the ones you usually stifled to all hell because god, Joel was beginning to feel good, and you hated yourself for it.

“There we go, knew you wanted it, always putting up a fight…” Joel went for your lips, but you whipped your head away, sobbing from the pain that was so bad you didn’t care what Joel thought of you rejecting this newfound, strange affection that you didn’t know what to make of. “C’mon now, baby girl” Joel’s tone was stern, but not the anger you expected. Usually, after he fucked you, he seemed to feel bad, providing you with some semblance of care afterwards… maybe last night was clearly crossing such a line that he still felt bad… so why did he have so little regard for the pain you were clearly in? You continue sobbing and when you look at Joel, rubbing your eyes, you see him look almost… confused? You didn’t cry like this infront of him… you cried, but it was softer… 

The next words you did not expect. “Don’t I make you feel good?”

You couldn’t contain your anger. “You hurt me!”

“Oh come on.” He says almost condescendingly. “My fingers are nothing compared to my dick.” But he still looked… confused? Concerned that you wouldn’t stop sobbing and shaking. He thought it was the fingers that were the problem? He moved towards you and you wince, only to find that he was wrapping the blanket around you and picking you up. He carried you like a toddler, carrying you under your ass and thighs, your face looking over his shoulder and you couldn’t help the instinct to wrap your arms around him as he walked toward your door.

“No, no I don’t want to go out there” Panic rose up inside you, fearful your yelling was going to get you a treatment like last night all over again, or leave you for Nick and the others, and would Tommy be able to save you? How many times could Tommy step in without losing his head… You didn’t want Tommy to get hurt, not for you… You try to tell him you’re sorry, that you’ll stop, but between the desperate words and choked sobs, you weren’t making much sense, and you got the feeling he wasn’t listening anyway.

When you were taken to the living room, the men immediately perked up, no doubt hoping they’d get their chance with you, but Joel kept walking towards the door. Was he done with you? Was he taking you outback to kill you, maybe have a round or two with your dead body that wouldn’t put up a fight like you do, then leave your naked body to decompose? The panic had set it, and the crying became shouting.

“Joel! Please! Don’t, please-T- Tom- TOMMY! TOMMYYY!!!” You scream for the only person you could trust, scrambling helplessly to get out of his his grasp but it was useless, you kick and fight and scream for his brother.

“Why the fuck are you cry’n to him for?” Joel muttered more to himself than anything, and you want to shut yourself up lest Joel suspect what happened, but you can’t think clearly, scrambling to get out of his grasp, wishing to god your brother was still alive or that Tommy would come save you. You’d be good, you’d stop acting up, you’d stop doing things that put Tommy and yourself at risk if please, please he’d come fix it just one more time…

You were outside, the sun was rising, the air was crisp but not bitter, and you were in shock… you hadn’t seen anything of sunlight other than your pathetic window since before Joel had taken you… you realized you stopped crying, Joel’s large hard rubbing your back as he calmly sh’d you as you shook in his arms. Joel sat down on the steps of the porch, cradling you in his arms like a baby. 

“Let’s enjoy the view”

Now, what exactly did Joel think was happening here? Who were you to him? Because he was cruel and violent, but then came tenderness… the way he talked yesterday, the way he seemed so betrayed, so convinced that he was good to you, that you deserted him… did he care about you? You did as he said, watching the sunshine and listening to the birds tweet…

“You’re bleeding” You look at Joel and he’s frowning, peeling off the blanket and exposing your nakedness to the outside. Your hip had bleed through the thin blanket enough, and Joel’s fingers touched around the open wound, deep concern in his eyes. “What happened?”

You were flabbergasted. Did he not remember?

“You… you branded me…” 

Joel shook his head. “No, no I mean why’s it bleed’n?” He looked to you. “Were you picking at it?”

You couldn’t help but blink, dumbfounded as it seemed he genuinely did not know how he tortured you. “You hurt me, Joel. This morning… Your jeans…”

Joel looked down at his jeans and saw the blood from when he rubbed on the raw and open skin. “I did that?”

“Yeah”

“That’s why you were cry’n?”

“Yeah. It really hurts.”

“It looks like it does…” Joel looked back at you. “Did anyone touch you last night?” 

You shake your head. “Tommy unlocked me.”

“Tommy touch you last night?”

Again, you shake your head. “Just to put the ointment on my thigh, I swear”

“You’d tell me if anyone touched you, right? Including Tommy?”

You freeze… What did he know? Did Tommy already tell him? Was Joel testing you? Would it be better to be honest… no, Tommy wouldn’t tell Joel, he wouldn’t do that to you. “Yeah, I’d tell you.”

Joel nodded, seeming to believe you… Then, he called inside. “Nick!” 

You startle at his shout, and even more so when Joel sits you on the porch, careful to keep you covered. “Watch her” Joel says to the redheaded man. “I gotta get some shit, and don’t-”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, don’t fucking touch her I heard the spiel last time, Miller.”

Joel glared at him, but left you outside with Nick, where there was silence for a moment as you watched him nervously. Nick’s eyes had been intent on you every time Tommy or Joel took you to the bathroom, or if he was walking by the door when they opened it, and he had been very eager to get a piece of you when Joel temporarily lifted the ban. You startled when he spoke.

“You just think you’re hot shit, don’t you?”

You didn’t know what to make of that. You felt the complete opposite of hot shit, you felt pathetic and used and in pain…

He kept talking. “You got both fucking Millers wrapped around you’re god damn finger, just have to sit in that room and get fucked, huh?”

You look up at him, unmoving.

“He’ll kill you, eventually, you know. Or he’ll get board of you, throw you to the rest of us and we’ll rape you until you’re dead, and Tommy won’t be able to stop it. He can’t always be there to protect you.”

Joel opened the door and Nick acted innocent, heading back inside without a word.

“He say anything to you?” Joel asked, sitting down with you.

You knew it was best to keep your mouth shut, not cause problems. “No”

“Good. Don’t like ‘em look’n at you. Barely tolerating Tommy but…” Joel opens up the first aid box and gets working, cleaning the wound.

You whimper, but try to keep it together. “But what?”

“I ain’t around much and… well I’m not exactly good at talk’n. Tommy’s better at that, better company.”

You had wondered if Joel knew about Tommy playing cards and talking with you. It seems he did, and he allowed it… because he knew you’d be bored? With Joel newfound softness and obvious guilt, you decided to test something.

“Could… could I maybe…”

“I ain’t letting you go, little girl. You’re mine.”

“No, no I know” You quickly assured. “Maybe next time you’re out, if you found something maybe…”

Joel softened his tone. “What is it, sweetness?”

You take a deep breath. “Maybe a book?” Joel turned to you. “Or just something to do, Tommy gave me playing cards but I can only do so much… ”

“You can read?” 

Fair question, “My mom taught me.”

Joel seemed to consider this… “I’ll see what we find today.”

You nod vigorously, gasping again as he applied triple antibiotic cream to the stinging wound. “Thank you, Joel, I know I don’t deserve-”

“Hush” He stops you. “You ain’t been good but I shouldn’t have done that to you.” He was apologizing for the burn? “You’re mine, and they don't get to touch you, or even look at you like that” Oh, it was about rapeing you in public. “And I know… I know ‘m not very careful, I don’t mean to hurt you…” Well, that wasn’t exactly true, the branding was intentional, the hard slap that first day was intentional… but you knew he meant when he gets carried away and the hair that gets pulled out and the bruises that form and the open fucking wound on you are just collateral. “I’m gonna try and be more careful, okay? But you gotta behave.”

For some unknown reason, you rest your head on his chest as he wraps your thigh in gauze. “I will, I swear. I wanna be good now.” If you got this side of Joel when you were quiet and behave… this would be much easier on you. You’d have him and Tommy’s protection, none of the men in their or anywhere else would fuck with you, and if Joel was bringing you books and didn’t hurt you… this could be better than what was being done to you at your dads house. Joel could be soft, Joel could be tender.. Yeah, this could be good…

You stayed there in Joel’s arms for a while until he brought you inside so he could take care of business. 

While he was gone, you took a nap and were woken up by the sound of the door flying open, and for a moment you fear Joel was back to his old self but you turn and see Tommy, running over the the mattress and dropping down beside you, seeing you in his clothes again and scrambling to touch you, checking you over, eyes frantic.

“Jesus honey, are you okay?” He grabbed your shoulders as he looked you over.

“Tommy” You grab his arms, sturdying you. Tommy was your anchor here, and you’d cling to him whenever you could. 

“Jack said he heard you screaming this morning in the room? Said he was pulling you out of the room and you were calling for me? I’m so sorry honey, I was out working, I’m so fucking sorry I shouldn’t have left, not after last night-” 

You interrupt him with a hand on his face, feeling his cheek, you’re thumb on his mustache. “Tommy, Tommy I’m okay…”

“What did he do to you?” Tommy asked with worry.

“He didn’t mean-”

Tommy spoke your name softly. “It’s okay, just tell me”

You blush, knowing this would bring up sex, which was a closed subject with Tommy, but it wasn’t like he didn’t know what Joel was doing to you. “He was… um… his jean… were rubbing against the burn when he… he um…”

Tommy’s face softened. “When he what?”

You turned away. “When he was fingering me…”

Tommy’s face furrowed in confusion. “Does he do that a lot?” His face was tinged with something else… jealousy?

You shake your head. “Today was weird.”

You explain what happened today while Tommy redressed your wound. You had no idea why you trusted him, but for some reason, you are beginning to trust Joel too. 

When Joel walked in on you and Tommy playing cards, he was carrying a bag. 

Tommy stood up quickly. “How’d it go today?”

“Good” He answered gruffly. “I got it here, Tommy” Despite Tommy looking guilty, Joel patted him on the back, turning Tommy to him. You assume Joel thought you couldn’t hear him, but Joel thanked Tommy for taking care of you. Tommy left without another word or a look at you.

Joel turned to you. “I got you some things, you can look through them later”

You give him a little smile, and it’s not all fake. You scoot onto the bed and take off your shorts; you want to show him you can be good, you can be good for him, if he’s good to you…

Joel returned the smile, however small it was. “Good girl”

You couldn’t help but smile a little bit more at his praise. You nod to the freshly cleaned wound on your leg, bandaged for protection. “Could you…”

With surprising gentleness, he adjusted you as he knelt, bending your knees, massaging your legs. “Don’t worry, little one, I’ll take it easy on you this time, consider this an apology.”

You put your hands on his thighs. “Thank you, sir”

Joel bent over, kissing your neck and palming your breasts still in his brother's shirt. “‘M gonna make this good for you, sweetheart, and you’re gonna come and stop fighting those pretty sounds you make, okay? That’s how you’re gonna thank me.”

You nod. “Okay”

Joel kissed and sucked where you were certain there were already dark marks, grinding his naked cock into your center. You did as promised, letting go for him, moaning as he worked you up for the first time, the first time he didn’t just ram into you and it felt good.

“Joel” You moan out gripping his shoulders; you wanted to see him. “Shirt off?”

You swore you could hear him chuckle. “Mine or yours”

“Both?”

“Good girl.” Joel sat up, taking off his shirt and fuck he looked good. He was strong, insanely broad, large muscles in his arms that you were already aware of that stretched in his sleeves. His chest showed obvious strength, and his stomach was soft, comforting… Joel pulled you up, taking off your shirt. “Fucking perfect.”

His mouth went to your breast as he lined up at your entrance, pushing in as quick and harsh as he always did, but this time you were working up enough and it hardly hurt, just a comfortable stretch.

Joel went for your lips, but you dodged him, and Joel paused to look at your with a cocked eyebrow.

You look at him, wide-eyed and nervous, would he punish you? He never kissed you, neither had Tommy, neither had any of the men your dad had sold your mouth too… that was yours, so far.

“I’m gonna give you time on that one, little one.” Joel began thrusting, his pace fast but not harsh. His hand was under your injured hip, your leg bent, propping it up just enough so that the brand didn’t rub against the bed as he fucked you.

“Thank you sir” You whine, relaxing into him, loving this side of things… Joel thrusting into you, fucking you full and actually paying attention to your body, your wants and needs…

“You gonna cum? I’m right behind you, been wait’n all day to be inside your perfect little pussy”

You were, that warmth in your stomach becoming a sure-fire thing. Joel slowly conditioning you to associate him with pleasure, the assault on your body, the violence that came with him, all with your orgasm, one of the few good things you had… “Yes, please make me cum”

His hand moved your throat, not the bruising grip you were used to, but a light, dizzying squeeze. “You gonna stop fighting me?”

“Yes, I swear, Joel, I’ll be good”

He sped up, igniting more inside you, the room swirling with the sounds of sex, the smell of Joel after a long day of work and you preen for him because you knew, you knew you could cum, and then for a few short minutes at least, Joel would care for you and you could feel a soft touch for fucking once… Tommy was so fucking scared of getting you killed, of abusing you the way Joel did he would barely touch you, you couldn’t get anything like this from him, although you were beginning to suspect he wanted too…

Joel grunted in your ear and you knew he was close too. “I know you will, sweet thing. Because you’re mine, your body is mine, your orgasms are mine, and this?“ Joel slapped your pussy before rubbing the clit as he growled, louder than before. “This is fucking mine, now cum!”

How much could the men outside hear? How much could Tommy hear? You couldn’t be bothered to think more, because you were his good girl now and you did as you were told, coming on his cock as your hands gripped his sweaty back, clinging him to you, your obedience a plea, ‘please, please take care of me, don’t let them hurt me, don’t hurt me anymore, and I’ll give everything to you Joel, I am yours as long as I am safe.’ You moaned as promised, load and with every ounce of feeling you had, letting everyone in the damn house, including fucking Nick, that you were Joels and yes, you had him wrapped around your finger.

When he pulled back, your stomach was painted in white as you panted breathless on the mattress. Joel collapsed on you, his heavyweight a comfort, and he even shifted his weight away from your hurt side. Kissing up your neck, to your cheek, he almost kissed your mouth, and god, you would have let him, but Joel hesitated before kissing away. That was one promise he’d keep.

When Joe came back to carry you to the bathroom where he had boiled water for a hot bath, you willingly wrapped your arms around him, kissing his neck. When you are carried past the kitchen, you see Nick watching you, eyes intent while Joel has his ever protective grasp. Just to make a point, you lock eyes with the man and lick a long stripe up Joel’s neck. The message was clear.

‘I belong to Joel Miller. Don’t fucking touch me.’ ********************

I hope you guys liked it!!!! Remember, likes and reblogs are the way to keep an author motivated to write more!

That being said, this is the last chapter out until probs after finals, so please dont ask when the next chapter is cuz i don't know ;-;

In the meantime, check out my masterlsit on my main @romanarose I have a few Joel fics, but my triple frontier fics are some of my best. consider reading Leather and Lace for Santi, or if you like moon knight, check out sunshine starlight sweetheart brightside! both deal with rape recovery, but head the warnings! espcially sunshine, its heavy

If you have an AO3 I would love if you check out this story over there and left a kudos, and maybe checked out some of my other work!

if you didn't catch it, theres a bonus chapter with tommy out!

LOVE YOU ALL!

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @howaboutcastiel @tidlewav3 @bunnnyy-dummy @slutfortimotheechalamet @foggymoonbanana @dinsbaby @miraclesabound @jenna-ortega @primosworld @marclovers @threeheadedlamb @secretwriterpp @the-fox-den

@bitchyglitterfox @0bsessedwithfictionalcharacters

[totowlff]

chapter fourteen — even three, four, or five

➝ it's time to cassie and toto discover a little more about their 'little bean'

➝ word count: 3,9k

➝ warnings: mentions of medical procedures, christian horner

➝ author’s note: i know it took us too long, but cassie is finally back, and with news!

14 WEEKS Many moms-to-be begin to feel hungrier, more energetic and less nauseous as early pregnancy symptoms start to subside. Meanwhile, your baby's getting chubbier by the day, and may be starting to sprout some hair.

— Are you nervous? — Toto leaned over to ask Cassie, as they sat in adjoining chairs in the waiting room of the obstetrics clinic — Because I am.

— No, I wasn’t even thinking about it — Cassie said, dryly — I was trying to think of what to make for dinner later.

Toto’s expression turned to confusion as he turned his head to the left a bit to glance at the woman in the chair beside him.

— You can’t be serious…

Cassie sighed. 

— Of course I’m nervous, Toto. I’m trying not to be, but… I just keep thinking that something is wrong. I don’t know why. I hope I’m just being paranoid. Plus, I’m kind of hoping we… Find out the sex today.

Cassie put one of her hands on her belly. She was starting to show more clearly — it no longer looked like she had some bad gas or a big lunch. She had opted to start wearing leggings and long shirts to work, because her work trousers and jeans no longer fit. She hadn’t started shopping for maternity clothes, but was a bit hesitant about actually wearing them yet, at least until she disclosed the pregnancy. She hadn’t yet told her colleagues, resolving to do so after the 14th week scan that she and Toto were on their way to.

The pregnancy seemed to be arriving at the stages where Cassie felt undeniably pregnant, and not like she was experiencing a persistent mild flu. The morning sickness had stopped, but instead, Cassie felt ravenously hungry, and was experiencing a strange pain around her hips that her doctor said was apparently an expected symptom. She had started doing some gentle yoga to help relieve the pain, and had discovered the joy of a nightly warm bath.

They’d discussed the sex of their baby when the idea of pregnancy was just something theoretical — something they both wanted and were looking forward to, but not yet reality. 

Like most parents, their preference was for a healthy baby, and sex was a secondary matter. Still, it didn’t stop Cassie from daydreaming of a little girl. 

She’d never gotten along with boys, for the most part. She had always preferred to play with her sister over her brother, and until university, her brother was the only boy she’d spent a significant amount of time with. She’d gone to an all-girls school growing up and, even in the present day, she had a much better relationship with her sister than her brother. And, though it was anecdotal, she remembered her sister-in-law having a much easier time with her three girls than Helena had with Tommy. He was a sweet boy at age 4, but was somewhat of a terror when he was a baby. 

For Toto’s part, he was also hoping for a girl. His sister had three boys that Toto adored — and were very nice when Cassie had met them — but said he could more clearly envision a daughter than a son. Cassie also suspected that Toto was also probably a bit swayed by his mother remarking that she still wanted a granddaughter.

But, if it was their destiny to have a boy, so be it. Cassie just hoped the baby would get Toto’s dimples.

They had scheduled Cassie’s 14-week scan for an afternoon during a week with no races. Toto felt so horrible about being late for Cassie’s first ultrasound that he had his assistant block off his entire day after lunch, and they would be going to Cassie’s flat after the appointment to talk about their preparations for the baby while they had dinner together. 

Toto wanted to drive her, but Cassie insisted that they each take their own cars.

— What will people say if they see us leaving the factory together, in your car, and early?

— Honestly, it doesn’t matter to me — Toto said, shrugging. Seeing Cassie's incredulous expression, he continued — Really, it’s not anyone’s business.

But then, Cassie pointed out that driving separately would save them a trip back to the factory after their appointment to pick up her car

Toto left a few minutes ahead of Cassie, but waited for her in the clinic’s car park so that they could go in together. It felt nice, as did being back to an exam room as “Miss Aldersey and Mr. Wolff”. “If only it were Mr. and Mrs. Wolff”, Cassie’s mind supplied, unhelpfully. Cassie followed the now-familiar routine of lowering her pants and hiking up her shirt before her obstetrician, Dr. Reynolds, knocked on the door and walked in.

— Good afternoon, Miss Aldersey, Mr Wolff — she said, giving them each a handshake in greeting. As she washed her hands and prepared the ultrasound equipment, she asked Cassie about the progress of her pregnancy — Any excessive pain, or unusual bleeding?

— No — Cassie said, as the doctor turned off the lights. Cassie, then, felt Toto gently squeeze her hand. He was perched on a stool next to the exam table — Just the pain around my hips and belly that we talked about at my last appointment, but taking a warm bath helps when it gets really bad.

— Good — Dr. Reynolds said, as she started to smear Cassie’s belly with gel — All of those ligaments are starting to stretch and loosen as your body goes through so many changes. Some gentle stretching or yoga is also helpful. Now, let’s hope your baby is cooperative today so we can get some good images.

As the doctor was getting the transducer ready, Cassie caught sight of Toto out of the corner of her eye. His eyes were fixed directly on her belly, his expression inscrutable.

— Something wrong? — Cassie asked. 

— No, I just… I hadn’t realized how much you’re, um… Showing, until now — Toto said, quietly. He looked sheepish, and if the light in the room wasn’t so dim, Cassie would swear she could see him blushing — You’ve been wearing those bigger shirts and dresses lately at work, so this is the first time I’ve seen you like this. You look… Beautiful.

He brought the hand he was holding to his lips and gently kissed her fingers, and Cassie could feel herself blushing, but before she could say anything, the doctor had started the scan, and both of them turned their attention to the monitor. 

A grainy, pulsing, black-and-white image displayed on the screen as the doctor passed the transducer over Cassie’s belly.

— Okay, let’s see where we are…

The blurring resolved into a definite image, the profile of something that looked like the profile of a baby’s head appearing. Cassie’s breath caught in her throat for a moment, and she thought she felt Toto’s gentle hold on her hand tighten. The last scan she had was too early in her pregnancy for anything to show other than something small, peculiar, and alien-looking, but now…

— It’s our baby — Toto whispered. Cassie smiled and took her eyes off the screen to look up at Toto. He was transfixed, a smile on his face as he watched the baby’s movements. After a moment, his eyes started shining, reflecting the light of the ultrasound screen in the darkness.

Cassie squeezed his hand. 

— Are you okay? — she whispered. But even as she asked, she knew exactly what he was feeling, because she felt it, too; the surreal enormity, the hope, the fear, all of it at once. Toto squeezed her hand back, and he glanced back down at Cassie. He tried to hide a sniffle, but it was unsuccessful.

The doctor took some measurements, and explained that, at least at first glance, everything looked to be going as expected.

— Now, you can’t always see it at this point in gestational development, but do you want to know the sex, if we can see it?

Cassie briefly glanced at Toto, each of them seeming to ask the other’s permission. 

— Yes, I think we both wanted to find out today, if we can — Cassie said, and Toto nodded. 

The doctor moved the transducer to the other side of Cassie’s belly, squinting at the screen once more. Cassie watched, feeling like she should know exactly what she was looking at, but all she saw were more blurry, undulating lines. 

— Let’s see… Ah, there we go. Now, again, it’s not always the most accurate at this point, and we’ll confirm when you’re further along, but — Dr. Reynolds said, pointing at something on the console screen. Cassie squinted to see what the doctor was pointing at, apparently seeing something specific in the monochrome mass of pulsating shapes — You can see the two legs here, and if you look at this bit here, you see how it’s parallel to the spine? That means, more than likely, you’ll be having a little girl.

Cassie felt her entire body flood with warmth, and felt Toto squeezing her hand, but after that, things barely registered for a few moments. She hadn’t dared to get her hopes up that her intuition had been correct. She had done some cursory searches online to see how people thought they could tell, and every method described seemed like an old wives’ tale, and that she’d have to try and summon the patience to simply wait.

After a moment, she thought to look at Toto to see what he thought. He’d also mentioned that he would want a girl if he had a choice — but, like Cassie, would simply be content with a healthy, happy baby — and his joy was plain to see in the expression on his face. Many would call Toto a difficult man to read, but Cassie never thought so, particularly when he was happy or excited about something. When he was genuinely happy, it seemed like his smile spread to every part of his face. The subtle dimples in his cheeks would emerge, and his nose would scrunch in a way that Cassie always thought made him look even more handsome. 

By the look on Toto’s face as he looked at Cassie, he was overjoyed. 

— Toto — Cassie said, feeling her voice starting to waver and her eyes start to fill with tears — We’re having a girl!

Dr. Reynolds smiled as she continued taking the last of the images she needed.

— Congratulations, mum and dad. I am guessing that was what you were hoping for?

Cassie opened her mouth to respond, but Toto got to it sooner.

— Yes, we discussed it a while ago. Of course, we’d be happy with a healthy baby of either sex, but — Toto turned to look down at Cassie again, the expression on his face so tender and happy that it made Cassie’s insides feel like jelly — I think from the start, both of us imagined having a little girl. And I have three nephews, so… The whole family was hoping for a girl.

Whatever Toto was telling the doctor after that point, Cassie wasn’t sure. She felt like she was floating from then on, even as Dr. Reynolds finished up the remainder of the appointment, gave her some instructions, and sent her to schedule her next ultrasound. 

As she and Toto left the clinic and walked to where they’d each parked their cars in the parking lot, she felt a strange electric frisson between them, no doubt caused by the way he kept a hand tenderly around her lower back as they walked along the sidewalk outside of the clinic, but she knew that it was just him being nice, playing his role as the good partner-but-not. She felt an almost desperate urge to envelop him in a hug, to reach up and kiss him right there, regardless of who would see, but she shoved it down. 

— So, um… Your place, right? — Toto said, as they got to where they’d parked next to each other.

— What? — Cassie said, blinking in surprise.

— I thought we were going to have dinner, and discuss, uh, logistics — Toto said, letting his hand go from Cassie’s lower back as he fumbled in his black cordura briefcase for his car keys. 

— Right. Yes, that’s right — Cassie said, shaking her head in an attempt to regain her wits. 

— Well, then, I’ll follow you — Toto said, smiling as he unlocked the door to his car and climbed in.

The entire drive back her flat was a blur in Cassie’s mind as it raced between dinner plans and baby plans, and by the time she unlocked the door to her flat and let Toto inside, her mind was a swirling mass of pink onesies, plush bunnies, and what to have with the chicken breasts that she left to thaw in the refrigerator for dinner.

In the end, she found some sweet potatoes in her pantry, and had some asparagus and tomatoes that needed to be used. She implored Toto to relax while she prepared dinner, not being used to having to contend with another person in the kitchen while she cooked, but Toto insisted on helping, so he chopped the vegetables while she set to work seasoning and baking the chicken.

Dinner came together quickly, and as they started eating, Toto was the first to cut through the silence.

— So, a little girl. Have you been thinking of any names, or did you want to wait to decide?

Cassie thought for a moment while she took a drink of water. 

— I haven’t given it too much thought, beyond what I told you before, that I didn’t really want to give her a classical name, you know, like my family would want. But it would be nice to give her a name, you know. I’ve just been thinking of it — she hesitated, before correcting herself — Her, I guess, as “the baby”.

— Well — Toto said — I wouldn’t mind giving her a Nordic name, like my family does. That way it would be unique, but not so much that she’s likely to be made fun of in school, or anything.

Cassie giggled.

— You say that like you have experience with that.

Toto rolled his eyes.

— I don’t dislike my name, but Torger isn’t a name that a lot of kids in Vienna come across very regularly. Let’s just say that my nickname was, um… How do you call it… Invented pretty early on in my school days.

— Well, alright. So, what kinds of names does that give us — Cassie said, picking up her phone. She paged through one of the dozens of pastel-colored websites open in her browser tabs that she’d been visiting over the past few weeks, before finding a naming dictionary she had particularly liked looking through — There’s the obvious ones, like Freya, Sif, and Astrid… No, those might have the same problem that your name gave you.

Toto laughed, and Cassie continued. 

— Elsa… No, people will just think we named her after that Disney movie… Edda… That sounds kind of, I don’t know, old lady-ish. Erika? No, I went to school with an Erika, I didn’t care for her. Juni is… That’s cute, I guess…

Toto pulled his chair closer to Cassie’s to look at the list of names with her, and Cassie angled the screen so he could get a better look. 

— Birgit? — Toto said — That’s a nice name, and not uncommon in Austria.

— Isn’t that what Niki Lauda’s wife is named? — Cassie said, turning her head to look at Toto. 

— Yes… And I think it’s a nice name.

— I know, but giving your child the name of someone you know feels odd, don’t you think? Plus, most English people would probably pronounce it incorrectly most of the time. And that leaves out Brigitta and Brigette, too. Asta? That one is nice.

— No, that reminds me of that sparkling wine — Toto said, crinkling his nose a bit — There’s Kirsten, but that one feels almost a bit too ordinary.

— Yes — Cassie sighed — And plus, she’d probably get called Kristen more often than not.

— Oh, what about… Ingrid? — Toto said, pointing at the name on Cassie’s phone screen — That’s a nice name. It’s easy enough in English, it’s a common enough name in German…

Cassie thought for a moment. She had a feeling like something snapped into place, like she had solved a complicated maths problem, or like she’d remembered a word that was on the tip of her tongue.

Almost involuntarily, her hand moved to her belly, cradling the growing swell of her abdomen.

— Ingrid. I like it. Ingrid — she repeated the name, like she was testing it out. She couldn’t help but feel like it was a good fit, that it felt right. 

— Ingrid Aldersey-Wolff — Toto said, a distinct note of pride in his voice.

— No… Just Ingrid Wolff — Cassie said, looking down at her belly. Her voice went quiet — It sounds nice, doesn’t it? We’ll need to come up with a middle name, but…

— You really don’t want her to have your surname too? — Toto asked, delicately.

— No. It wouldn’t feel right giving her something that I don’t even want — Cassie said, giving Toto a serious look. 

Toto pressed his mouth into a thin line, and nodded slightly.

— Ingrid Wolff.

According to the obstetrician, it was a bit too early in the pregnancy for Cassie to start feeling the baby kicking, but she thought she felt a distinct flutter from her belly. It may have been just her imagination, or something akin to nervous butterflies, but it felt like a sign, like the universe had given her at least one of the answers she was looking for. 

— Our little Ingrid — she said, feeling the warmth she’d felt earlier spreading through her body once more.

She and Toto finished eating in a more companionable silence, and Toto cleaned up the dishes once they were finished, at his insistence. After the dishes were in the dishwasher, they sat close together on the couch, scrolling through more parenting websites, discussing whatever came to mind.

— Oh, I forgot to tell you this, but I started this… I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s sort of a visual scrapbook of things that you can save — she said, navigating to a website on her laptop. Toto peered over at the screen, his brow furrowing. She knew that Toto wasn’t tuned in to most social media websites, so she kept her explanation brief — But I made it mostly so we can gather ideas for how we want to decorate the nursery. I know it’s probably not, you know, a priority, but…

— No, I want to see. After all, it will be my daughter’s first bedroom.

Cassie almost couldn’t contain her joy at hearing Toto say the words “my daughter”, and given the smile that spread across Toto’s face near-immediately, it wasn’t easy for him, either.

For the next hour, they looked at pictures of nurseries online, saving the things that appealed to them. Both of them were in agreement about not wanting something stereotypically “girly” with everything in shades of pink.

— I like a minimalist look — Toto said — But…

— I know, I’ve seen your office — Cassie quipped. 

Toto shot her a knowing glance.

— But all of these gray or beige rooms that are supposed to be neutral, they’re awfully depressing for children, no?

— I know, but that’s what it’s fashion these days, from what I gather. But we don’t have to decide anything right now, we still have — Cassie paused, trying to do the mental calculation from the estimated due date that Dr. Reynolds gave them earlier — About 26 weeks before we have to worry about it.

— I know — Toto said, standing up from Cassie’s sofa — 26 weeks until we meet our daughter. Ingrid. Anyway, I think I should head home. Early day tomorrow, as always. And you should get your rest.

Cassie set her laptop on the coffee table, and stood up with him, following after him as he walked to the front door.

— Yes. Ingrid Wolff. Ingrid… And, like you said, we’ll need to think of a middle name.

— We will. We have 26 weeks — Toto said, carefully slipping his shoes on. 

— It will go by quickly though, so I’ve heard — Cassie said, giving Toto a small smile once he stood back up straight.

There was a slight pause before Toto opened his arms, prompting Cassie to step forward into a hug. It was soft and gentle, making Cassie feel the fluttering from deep down in her belly again as Toto pressed a delicate kiss to her forehead before he stepped back slightly.

— Do you mind if I…? — he said, pointing to Cassie’s belly. 

— Go ahead — Cassie said, feeling her face flush — She is… Ingrid is… Is your daughter, after all.

It was surreal seeing Toto bend over slightly and mutter something in German with only the words tochter and Ingrid clear to Cassie as he put his hand on the bump, but not in an unpleasant way, quite the contrary. 

As Toto said goodbye to her again and Cassie went about her bedtime routine, she realized that it was what made the pregnancy finally feel real, and concrete like nothing before had. Not the initial test results, not telling her sister and mother, not the episodes of morning sickness, not even telling Toto when he got back from Barcelona, but the fact that their daughter had a name, like she was already a person and not a hypothetical, not a “little bean” or the other corny euphemisms that the parenting websites used to refer to a baby while it was still in utero. 

The thrill hadn’t dissipated the next morning, either, and with a quick message to Toto to get his — not his approval, but to see if he had any objections — she set out to do something she’d been waiting to do for what felt like ages.

A few hours later, in the marketing team meeting, Victoria, her boss, asked the group if there were any new agenda items to discuss, and Cassie raised her hand.

— I know this isn’t really related to the business, but I have some personal news — she said. She could feel a quaver coming to her voice as she spoke.

— Go ahead — Victoria said, giving her a nod.

— I found out a few weeks ago, but… I’m pregnant.

There was a momentary silence in the room, and Cassie noticed the momentary collective confusion on her colleagues’ faces, until one of her colleagues, Imogen, clapped her hands together and practically squealed with joy.

— Oh, that’s wonderful, Cassie! Congratulations!

What followed seemed to be an avalanche of well-wishes and questions in equal measure.

— When are you due? — one of her other coworkers asked. 

— Have you found out the sex yet?

— I didn’t even know you were trying, that’s amazing — another said.

Cassie thought her colleagues looked a bit skeptical, and perhaps it was just her imagination. She certainly didn’t want to reveal the whole truth about the baby and her parentage, not when nobody else on the team knew about it, and her mind automatically slotted onto the story that she’d given her mother and sister a few weeks ago.

— Well, I met this guy named, er, Christian. He works in finance, and we met a few years ago… A friend set us up, and we fell in love… And we’ve both always wanted children, so we decided to start trying for a baby. We just found out yesterday that we’re having a little girl. 

— That’s wonderful, Cassie — Victoria said, beaming at her.

— When you said Christian, I was afraid you were going to follow it with ‘Horner’ for a moment — Dan, one of the content writers, said, which prompted a ripple of chuckles around the room, and a scowl from Victoria. 

Cassie laughed nervously, knowing that he wasn’t categorically wrong about the father of her baby being a team principal. 

— God, could you imagine? — she said, trying to play off her nerves — That would be a nightmare.

[the-eldritch-it-gay]

Majexatli’s health

Here's a little thing I have written up mainly for my personal reference about Majexatli's physical health issues. It might be interesting to others so I figured I'd share it. Mechanically in game, they have a constitution score of 8 which is somewhat supposed to be reflecting their health issues.

CW: Discussions of injury, mention of pregnancy and loss of pregnancy

Horns—

Majexatli grew up in less than ideal surroundings, spending their early life passed around foster care. They then, after running away from Baldur's Gate, spent at least 4 years fending for themselves in the outdoors before some druids found them and took them in. During this time of fending for themselves, they lacked the knowledge and access to proper care for illness or injury, which left them with lingering ill effects even after recovering and a general poor constitution.

By the time they were a teenager and living with the druids, their health was still quite poor. 

A side effect of this was their horn growth. While the average tiefling will get their “adult horns” in their mid to late teens, Majexatli’s horn growth was stunted by their poor health and childhood illnesses. Even at age 18 as their health slowly improved, their horns looked juvenile. They were also the only tiefling in the druid circle, so they did not have knowledge of horn care or typical horn growth.

It was not until they were roughly 20 before their horns began growing in properly, despite how Majexatli had thought their horns were permanently stunted. The growth and miraculous increase in horn health, perhaps coincidentally, perhaps not, occurred after Majexatli turned to Malar worship and began hunting and eating animals while in wildshape.

Vision—

Majexatli had typical vision before the Nautiloid and during the beginning of their journey. Though they would sometimes use spectacles when reading or doing embroidery. 

During the adventure while in a self-destructive spiral, Majexatli agrees to Volo’s eye surgery shortly after entering the Shadow Cursed Lands. The loss of their eye is something that takes them a while to adjust to. 

Initially, Majexatli did not opt to use the prosthetic eye Volo offered, but after a day or two they managed to (with Gale’s assistance) transfer the enchantment from Volo’s eye to a different prosthetic that Majexatli was more comfortable with visually, one that was a solid jade green rather than one mimicking the appearance of a humanoid eye. 

Musculoskeletal—

Right leg:

Majexatli’s right lower leg is noticeably weaker than their left. Majexatli is unaware as to the nature of the weakness in their right leg, whether it was something congenital or acquired by injury. Because whatever caused it happened when they were quite young, they grew up with it and are adjusted to the issue. When Majexatli went into wildshape for the first time, that was the first time they were able to run and walk without issue or pain.

Owlbear Attack:

At age 19, Majexatli was gored and technically killed (briefly) by an Owlbear. The attack severely damaged their spine, ribs, left shoulder/arm, and right hip. They also suffered fatal internal injuries, though that was largely fixed by healing magic.

The extent of their injuries and the length of time between their injury and treatment (and then their running away before fully healing) led to healing magic having limited effect. While they survived, the damage to their shoulder, spine, and hip left them with chronic pain and mobility issues. The intensity of the issue ebbs and flows, but they walk at a slower pace with a noticeable limp and use their right arm more often than their left. 

The attack also left Majexatli with extensive physical scarring, despite the use of healing magic. The claw marks stretch from their left shoulder down to their right hip. They lack nipples, as the scarring covers much of their chest, and they lack breasts entirely when in their feminine form. The scarring also is a cause of chronic pain due to the amount of scar tissue and the way the injury healed.

Majexatli usually goes out of their way to cover these scars, both because of their self-consciousness (as their most significant memory following the attack being someone they loved and trusted being disgusted and breaking things off with them on sight) and to avoid questions about the scars (though this on occasion leads to people thinking the scars are from battle, which bothers Majexatli, as it associates some sort of honor with scars they see as self-inflicted and a physical reminder of their failures)

While they can't hide all the chronic pain, fatigue, and lingering ailments, Majexatli does their best to hide it as much as possible, especially from the party, as they worry people's perception of them will change negatively and they will be seen as incapable or be viewed with pity.

Other—

External:

Majexatli has a number of superficial scars they received over the years. Most notably one across their face, and one across their neck. Most of their scars come from encounters with animals/monsters, or from non-combat scenarios. A small handful were inflicted by another person, though Majexatli denies this fact.

Internal:

Majexatli has long been fluid with their gender and frequently altered their physical form to fit with how they felt at the time (though during their time as a druid, this was also subject to others' influence). At the time of the owlbear attack, Majexatli had opted for a more feminine form and had just learned they were possibly with Althyran's child. Due to the severity of the internal injury (and brief death), the attack left them unable to bear children in that form.

[breederking]

Miles never intended to be pregnant. In fact, it was the furthest thing from his mind when he first transitioned, when he thought he had left behind the possibility of ever carrying life. He had always known he was a man, always understood that his body didn’t align with how the world saw him. But somehow, against all odds, the pregnancy happened.

He could still remember the moment he found out—his hand shaking as he held the test, the two pink lines glaring back at him like an undeniable truth. His first reaction wasn’t joy or excitement, but disbelief. And then fear. How would people react? How would *he* react?

His boyfriend, Darren, hadn’t taken it well. Darren, who had been supportive during Miles’s transition in the early years, became distant once they found out. He didn’t believe in abortion, and he wasn’t about to let the pregnancy be terminated. So, Miles was forced to carry the baby to term.

As the months passed, Miles’s body began to change in ways that felt foreign to him, in ways he couldn’t have anticipated. His belly, which started small and manageable, slowly grew, expanding further each day, weighing him down both physically and emotionally. He could feel his hips widening, his back aching, and his chest heavy with the extra strain of carrying something he couldn’t escape. His belly was enormous now, swollen and stretched so far out that he had to support it with both hands when standing. He couldn’t walk for long periods of time without feeling dizzy, and he found it harder and harder to get up from the couch, the bed, or even a chair.

It was humiliating. He was supposed to be a man, strong and capable, yet here he was, struggling just to roll out of bed each morning. His body, once a source of confidence, now felt like a prison. Every moment of the day, his belly felt heavy and constant, weighing down on his pride. And Darren... Darren barely seemed to notice.

His boyfriend had grown increasingly distant. He didn’t offer comfort or words of encouragement. He didn’t ask how Miles was feeling, or if he needed anything. Instead, Darren’s frustration seemed to be a constant companion. He would sigh when Miles needed help getting up, roll his eyes when he asked for a glass of water, and increasingly, he seemed more and more annoyed by the sight of Miles’s growing belly.

"Can't you just, like, manage it yourself?" Darren had snapped one day when Miles had asked for help getting off the couch. Miles had tried, but his swollen belly was simply too heavy, and his legs were too weak to lift him.

One morning, Miles woke up with a sharp pain in his lower abdomen, a pang that made him freeze. He couldn’t breathe through it, and the weight of his belly pressed down on him even harder. It was taking more effort than usual to get up, but he didn’t want to ask for help. Still, when he finally did, Darren sighed and walked over to him, grabbing his hand to help him sit up.

But as Miles stood, something shifted inside him, and before he knew it, he lost his balance, his body tipping forward and crashing onto the floor. His knees buckled beneath him, and he landed hard on his backside. His face flushed with embarrassment.

“Great,” Darren muttered under his breath. "Just great."

He didn’t even wait for Miles to say anything before he started pulling him up. That was when they both noticed the wetness underneath him. A large pool of clear amniotic fluid had formed on the floor.

"Oh, God," Darren groaned. "That’s disgusting, Miles. Can’t you be any more careful? Your water broke."

The words stung. Miles looked down, ashamed of his body, ashamed of the accident.

“I-I didn’t mean to,” Miles stammered, tears welling up in his eyes.

Darren didn’t offer any comfort. Instead, he grabbed Miles’s arm roughly, helping him to his feet before leading him to the bathroom. He didn’t speak as he got a towel and helped Miles clean up, his face twisted in annoyance as he muttered about the mess.

Labor came slowly for Miles. His contractions started faint and irregular, but as they grew stronger, Darren became more and more detached. He would sit on the couch, playing video games, completely oblivious to Miles’s struggle. Miles, on the other hand, rocked back and forth, leaning against the couch for support, his hands clutching his belly as he breathed through the contractions.

“I need help,” Miles whimpered, his voice small, desperate. But Darren didn’t even look up from the screen.

“Quit being so loud,” Darren muttered, his tone sharp. “You’re just making it worse.”

The words cut deep, but Miles didn’t have the energy to respond. His body was betraying him, his belly heavy with the weight of the baby, and his mind was drowning in the feeling of helplessness. He had no one.

And then it happened. A sudden pressure built in his pelvis, and he knew what it meant. The baby was coming. He gasped, his breath ragged as he felt the overwhelming urge to push. “Darren,” he begged, his voice breaking. “Please, help me.”

But Darren just kept playing his game, barely acknowledging him. Miles, desperate now, gave one final push, and with it, the baby crowned. His body was torn between pain and fear, but after a long, agonizing moment, the baby slid into the world. He barely registered the sound of crying before he was lifting the baby, stumbling toward the bedroom. Darren didn’t follow, didn’t offer a word.

“Your belly’s still huge,” Darren commented as Miles waddled away, holding the baby close to his chest. “You look overdue.”

The words stung, but Miles didn’t respond. He just lay down on the bed, holding his baby against him, exhausted and overwhelmed.

But as he lay there, trying to catch his breath, Miles felt it. Another movement in his belly. Another shift. He froze, his heart racing as the truth began to dawn on him. There was more. He wasn’t just carrying one baby—he was having twins.

His water broke again with a huge splash. Panic surged through him. He was terrified, exhausted, and alone. But he still needed to deliver the second baby. Struggling, he pushed himself up onto his knees, the weight of his swollen belly making every movement feel like a struggle.

“Darren!” Miles called out weakly. “Please… I need help…”

Darren appeared in the doorway, a scowl on his face. “You’re kidding me. Twins? Really?”

Miles felt a flush of humiliation crawl up his neck. “I don’t know what to do. Please, help me.”

But Darren’s patience had run dry. “This is ridiculous. I didn’t sign up for this. You should have known better.”

Miles, too exhausted to argue, focused on the baby, his body trembling as he pushed. After what felt like an eternity, the second baby was born. Miles collapsed back onto the bed, gasping for air, drenched in sweat and tears.

But it wasn’t over. Not yet.

His water broke a third time, and Miles knew—he wasn’t done. There was one more baby.

Darren’s anger boiled over. “Three babies? Are you serious? This better be the last one.”

Miles was humiliated. He had no strength left. His legs felt like they might give out beneath him, and he could barely hold himself upright. Darren had to hold his legs up for him, irritated and impatient. Miles could hardly even meet his gaze, his eyes clouded with tears and exhaustion.

And finally, with Darren’s begrudging help, Miles pushed one last time, delivering the third baby.

He was left on the bed, his body broken, his heart shattered. Three crying babies surrounded him, and Darren left without a word, retreating back to his video games as though nothing had happened.

[tacticalbabygear]

Best Baby Carrier for Hip Dysplasia

When it comes to choosing a baby carrier, one of the most important factors to consider is the impact it can have on your baby's developing hips. Hip dysplasia is a condition that affects the proper development of the hip joint, and it is crucial to ensure that the baby carrier you choose provides the necessary support and stability to prevent or alleviate this issue. In this article, we will explore the best baby carriers for hip dysplasia, as well as the importance of choosing the right one and the key features to look for. Let's dive in!

Understanding Hip Dysplasia in Infants

Hip dysplasia is a condition that can affect infants, causing the hip joint to develop improperly. It occurs when the ball and socket joint of the hip are not aligned correctly, which can result in discomfort, pain, and potentially long-term issues if left untreated. Understanding the basics of hip dysplasia is crucial for parents to make informed choices when it comes to selecting a baby carrier.

What is Hip Dysplasia?

Hip dysplasia occurs when the hip joint fails to develop normally in infants. The condition can range from mild to severe and is more common in female infants. While the exact cause of hip dysplasia is not always clear, research suggests that genetics, breech birth, and swaddling techniques that constrain the movement of the hips can contribute to its development.

During pregnancy, the baby's hips are naturally flexed and bent. However, after birth, the hip joints gradually straighten out as the baby begins to move and bear weight on their legs. In some cases, the hip joint fails to develop properly, leading to hip dysplasia. This misalignment can result in instability and potential dislocation of the hip joint.

Symptoms and Diagnosis of Hip Dysplasia

Identifying hip dysplasia in infants can be challenging, as symptoms may not be immediately apparent. However, a few signs to watch out for include clicking or popping sounds when moving the baby's legs, limited range of motion in the hips, and uneven folds in the baby's thighs or buttocks. It is important to note that these symptoms can vary from one child to another, and some infants may not exhibit any noticeable signs of hip dysplasia. If you suspect your baby may have hip dysplasia, it is important to consult a healthcare professional for a proper diagnosis. The doctor will perform a physical examination and may order additional tests, such as an ultrasound or X-ray, to assess the condition of the hip joint.

Treatment Options for Hip Dysplasia

When it comes to hip dysplasia, early diagnosis and intervention are key. Treatment options can vary depending on the severity of the condition, but common approaches include harnesses or braces that help realign the hip joint, physical therapy exercises to strengthen the hip muscles, and in severe cases, surgery may be required.

It is important to note that the right baby carrier can play a crucial role in the treatment and prevention of hip dysplasia. Opting for a carrier that supports the baby's hips in a healthy position, such as one that allows for the natural spread-squat position, can help promote proper hip development. Additionally, ensuring that the carrier provides adequate support and does not put excessive pressure on the baby's hips is essential.

By understanding the causes, symptoms, and treatment options for hip dysplasia, parents can make informed decisions when it comes to their baby's hip health. Regular check-ups with a healthcare professional and using a baby carrier that prioritizes hip support can go a long way in ensuring the healthy development of your child's hips.

Importance of Choosing the Right Baby Carrier Now that we understand the impact that a baby carrier can have on hip dysplasia, let's explore why it is essential to choose the right one.

Role of Baby Carriers in Infant Development

Baby carriers do more than just provide a convenient way to carry your little one; they also play a significant role in their development. A well-designed carrier can promote healthy hip development by supporting the natural position of the hips, allowing for proper hip alignment and movement. It's crucial to choose a carrier that prioritizes both comfort and functionality.

Furthermore, baby carriers offer numerous benefits beyond hip development. When babies are carried in a carrier, they are in constant close contact with their caregiver, which enhances bonding and emotional connection. This physical closeness also stimulates the baby's senses, promoting their cognitive and social development. Additionally, being carried in a carrier allows babies to observe the world from a safe and secure vantage point, enhancing their curiosity and overall learning experience.

Potential Risks of Incorrect Baby Carriers

Using a baby carrier that does not provide adequate support or places unnecessary pressure on the hips can exacerbate or even cause hip dysplasia in infants. It is crucial to be aware of the potential risks associated with incorrect baby carriers, such as restricting the range of motion or forcing the legs into an overly straight position. By understanding these risks, parents can make informed decisions when selecting a carrier for their little one.

In addition to hip dysplasia, using an incorrect baby carrier can lead to other discomforts for both the baby and the caregiver. For instance, carriers that do not distribute the baby's weight evenly can put strain on the caregiver's back, shoulders, and neck, leading to discomfort and potential long-term issues. Moreover, an ill-fitting carrier can cause discomfort to the baby, leading to fussiness and irritability during use.

By choosing the right baby carrier, parents can ensure their baby's safety, comfort, and healthy development. It is essential to consider factors such as the carrier's design, materials used, and adjustability to find the perfect fit for both the baby and the caregiver. Investing time in researching and selecting the right carrier will undoubtedly contribute to a positive and enjoyable experience for both parties involved.

Features to Consider in a Baby Carrier for Hip Dysplasia

Choosing a baby carrier for hip dysplasia requires careful consideration of specific features that prioritize the health and comfort of your baby's hips.

Support and Stability

An ideal baby carrier for hip dysplasia should provide excellent support and stability to the baby's hips. Look for carriers that distribute the weight evenly across the hips and thighs, ensuring that the legs are in a spread-squat position. This position promotes healthy hip development and helps prevent any unnecessary stress on the joints. Moreover, some carriers even come with additional features to enhance support and stability. For instance, certain carriers have built-in lumbar support for the parent, which helps distribute the weight evenly and reduces strain on the lower back. This not only benefits the baby's hips but also ensures the parent's comfort during long walks or outings.

Comfort for the Baby and the Parent

Comfort is key when it comes to choosing a baby carrier. The carrier should have padded straps and waistbands to ensure the parent's comfort during prolonged use, while still offering a soft and cozy space for the baby. Adjustable features are also important to accommodate both the parent's and the baby's comfort needs. Additionally, some carriers go the extra mile to provide maximum comfort for both the baby and the parent. They may have breathable mesh panels that allow air circulation, preventing excessive heat buildup and keeping both the baby and the parent cool and comfortable. These carriers are perfect for outdoor adventures or hot summer days when ventilation is crucial.

Adjustability and Flexibility

Infants grow rapidly, so it's essential to choose a carrier that can grow with them. Look for carriers that offer adjustable features, such as the ability to modify the seat width and height, to ensure a proper fit as your baby grows. This adaptability will not only provide a comfortable experience but also help support the correct hip positioning throughout the different stages of your baby's development. Moreover, some carriers take adjustability to the next level by offering multiple carrying positions. These carriers allow you to carry your baby in various ways, such as front-facing, back-carrying, or even side-carrying. This versatility ensures that you can find the most comfortable and ergonomic position for both you and your baby, promoting a healthy hip and spine alignment.

Top Baby Carriers for Hip Dysplasia

After careful research and consideration, we have compiled a list of the top baby carriers known for their excellent support and functionality in promoting healthy hip development.

Review of Baby Carrier 1

Our top pick, Baby Carrier 1, is a versatile carrier that provides outstanding support and comfort. It features an ergonomic design that promotes a spread-squat position for optimal hip development. With adjustable straps and multiple carrying positions, this carrier allows for a customizable fit as your baby grows.

Review of Baby Carrier 2

For parents seeking a carrier with a more structured design, Baby Carrier 2 is an excellent choice. It offers exceptional support with padded straps and a wide seat that keeps the baby's hips in a healthy position. The adjustable features allow for maximum comfort and flexibility as your baby grows.

Review of Baby Carrier 3 If you prefer a carrier that combines style and functionality, look no further than Baby Carrier 3. With its sleek design and innovative features, this carrier ensures excellent hip support and proper alignment. The breathable fabric and adjustable seat ensure a comfortable experience for both you and your baby.

In addition to the top baby carriers mentioned above, it's important to note that hip dysplasia is a condition that affects the hip joint and can lead to long-term complications if not addressed properly. It occurs when the hip joint is not properly aligned, causing the ball and socket to be misaligned. This can result in instability and potential damage to the joint.

When choosing a baby carrier for a child with hip dysplasia, it's crucial to prioritize carriers that provide adequate support and promote healthy hip positioning. The carriers mentioned in our reviews have been carefully selected based on their ability to address these specific needs. However, it's always recommended to consult with a healthcare professional or pediatrician to ensure the carrier is suitable for your baby's individual condition.

In conclusion, selecting the best baby carrier for hip dysplasia is of utmost importance to promote healthy hip development in infants. By understanding the basics of hip dysplasia, the importance of choosing the right carrier, and the key features to consider, parents can make informed decisions that prioritize their baby's comfort and well-being. Whether you opt for our top recommendations or explore other options, remember to prioritize support, adjustability, and safe hip positioning. Happy baby wearing!

[writingreadingdaydreaming]

oh ok 👀👀 do tell about Virgil/Ali and Trent/Robbo

This is quite the read I’m sorry 🤣

I’ll start with Trent/Robbo:

So basically, in the hours before the Scotland vs Spain game, Andy is having horrible cramps. He assumes it’s just his heat coming up, pops a few painkillers and goes about preparing. He’s still in a lot of pain before the match but he’s so pumped full of paracetamol that he’s just about functioning. Obviously during the game Andy gets his shoulder broken and is taken off just before half-time.

He’s taken to the hospital, where they do a bunch of scans on his shoulder and put the joint back into the socket. At the hospital, his stomach pains are getting extremely bad, and he also starts getting a strange pressure in his hips, so a couple hours later the doctors do an ultrasound on him to make sure he has ruptured something like his bladder or intestines… and they find a baby. Andy’s pregnant. And not early in pregnancy - he’s 41 weeks and currently in labour, about to delivier a baby he didn’t even know he was pregnant with, in a foreign country, without his boyfriend.

Clearly it’s one of the most stressful and scary moments of Andy’s life. He thinks he’s about to give birth alone until suddenly McGinn bursts through the doors like Andy’s saviour and stays by his side while he’s pushing. Physically, the birth actually goes surprisingly well, and Andy gives birth to a healthy baby girl.

Trent gets a first flight over to Spain, and arrives at the hospital about three hours after their daughter, Natalie, is born. They’re both in shock, but Andy also looks so happy, and is gushing over their baby girl.

So basically, Andy goes to Spain by himself, and comes back with his boyfriend and his baby by his side. This idea actually does have a tiny bit more to it but I couldn’t think of how to involve it so if you want to know then please please please don’t hesitate to ask!

As for the Virgil/Alisson idea -

Virgil is an alpha, and he’s originally with Jordan Henderson. They’re actually engaged before Jordan flees to Saudi without a word, leaving Virgil alone and heartbroken. His whole relationship with Jordan was toxic in retrospect (Hendo is an asshole in my AU, sorry 🤣), but Virgil loved him so much, and when he leaves, it’s breaks Virgil.

He falls into a depression, showing up to training with poorly brushed hair and heavy eye bags, training without talking to anyone and leaving quickly without showering or eating. This goes on for a couple weeks, before Alisson decides he needs to do something, otherwise Virgil is gonna keep spiralling and will end up doing something he regrets.

So he convinces Virgil to come back to his house. He leads the way, Virgil being so sad and angry and hurt that he’s just a shell of himself, and he’s basically putty in Ali’s hands.

Alisson runs a bath and undresses Virgil and helps him into it. He spends time washing Virgil’s body and hair. His touch is so gentle and caring, something Virgil hasn’t felt in a very long time. It’s the first time since Hendo left that he’s felt so comfortable and safe.

Alisson goes to the trouble of making a nest for Virgil. He knows as an alpha, nesting wouldnt reap the same benefits as it would for him as an omega, but Alisson does it nonetheless, if nothing but a sign of affection - way of letting Virgil know that someone still cares. Virgil is so amazed that someone would put in that much effort for him, when he’s so used to being the one that gives and never receives.

Long story short after that they fall in love and have babies and if you have any questions about that then please ask!! 🤣

[dr-aashish-arbat-pune]

Hip Pain Exercises For Pregnancy

Here learn about, Hip Pain Exercises for Pregnancy. Sleeping Positions for Hip Pain While Pregnant. Hip Pain Pregnancy First & Second Trimester. Dangers of Stretching While Pregnant. Left Hip Pain During Early Pregnancy...  

[pradhyayoga]

Uttan Mandukasana:

yoga asana for Inner Peace and Well-being

Uttana Mandukasana may help in managing cervical spondylosis, asthma, text neck syndrome, stress, arthritis and also helps in correcting postural defects, tones up muscles and sets right functions of many systems  .

Uttana Mandukasana is also known as Stretched Frog Pose. The name has roots in Sanskrit: "Uttana" means "upright", "Manduka" means frog and "Asana" means posture or posture. In English, the name translates to vertical frog pose. Uttana mandukasana also resembles an upright frog, hence the name. This asana is a variation of Mandukasana/Frog Pose. The preparatory pose for Uttan Mandukasana is Vajrasana , and the subsequent pose is Balasana (child's pose).Uttana Mandukasana is done early in the morning or on an empty stomach.

How to do Uttana mandukasana  ? 

Uttana mandukasana should be done correctly for maximum health benefits. This asana can help manage cervical spondylosis, asthma, neck pain, stress, arthritis and help improve cognition. One can perform Uttana mandukasana in the following ways: 

First, sit in Vajrasana  (sit on your knees and heels with your toes pointing behind you, make sure your toes are touching). Then spread your knees wide. 

Raise your left arm, lower it from the elbow, put it on the right shoulder and place the palm on the right side. Similarly, bend the right hand and place it on the left shoulder blade. 

Hold here for a moment and slowly return to the other side. Keep calm.  Hold this position for 3 to 10 counts or as long as you feel comfortable doing it. Repeat 3 to 6 times. 

Health Benefits of Uttana Mandukasana  - 

Stretches the muscles in the throat, relieves sore throat 

Gives good strength to the upper and lower muscles, makes the spine more flexible, reduces pain and anxiety, helps to treat sciatica. 

Stretches the knee joint so it is good for knee health 

Makes the knee joint healthy, makes the knee and muscles close to relieve shoulder and neck pain, cures cervical spondylosis. 

Strengthens the spine, strengthens the cervical, thoracic and lumbar regions 

The muscle also effectively stretches the diaphragm and chest area. This makes breathing easier. Hence, it reduces respiratory congestion and disease. It also helps in the proper functioning of the lungs. 

Removes excess fat that accumulates in the abdominal area, helps you to be slimmer and improves your health. 

useful for reproductive health and improves the health of the ovaries and testicles helps with menstrual problems useful for reproductive health and maintains the health of the ovaries and testicles. 

Helps to solve menstrual problems 

Improves circulation in the heart and abdominal wall, tones the abdominal muscles 

Improves the functioning of the pancreas 

Strengthens the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems. If one is doing Ujjayi Pranayama, there is a lot of energy in the lower respiratory tract. 

Helps relieve stress and anxiety 

Activates the sacral chakra 

 Effects on chakras 

Uttana Mandukasana opens and activates the swadhishtana chakra, the spleen or sacral chakra, which is the center of pleasure, pleasure and creativity. Stimulating this chakra promotes focus, inner acceptance and creativity. It awakens the Kundalini energy.

Contraindications, caution 

Patients suffering from the conditions mentioned below should avoid doing Uttana Mandukasana. 

Arthritis 

Hernia 

Chronic and severe back problems  

Knee pain 

Severe shoulder pain  

Spine deformity  

Hip joint deformity 

Be careful 

Women should not perform this asana during pregnancy or menstruation.

[puttingherinhistory]

The full list for anyone who wants it

Reasons not to get pregnant

1. a child will burst out through your vagina

2. your coochie might rip in two

3. your asshole might tear

4. wake up every 2 hours

5. your titties will wake you up too

6. your titties will inflate then deflate to look like banana peels

7. they will learn how to curse at you

8. they work as hard as possible to leave you

9. baby = parasite

10.you can be allergic to pregnancy

11. you will get rashes on your body

12. morning sickness 24/7

13. your hips will be sore for life

14. your legs can swell the size of two potato sacks

15. random tantrums

16. they poop and you have to change them

17. they pee and you have to change them

18. they will have diarrhea and you have to change them

19. exploding poop

20. they will vomit on you

21. you will not have a social life

22. you cannot have sex for at least a year

23. bellybutton hernia (both the child and mother)

24. brown marks all over the body

25. can get more hairy

26. they will threaten to kill you

27. they spit on you (intentionally)

28. they spit on you (unintentionally)

29. they don't sleep when you need to sleep

30. epidurals can go wrong and you can die

31. childcare is expensive

32. screaming in the grocery store

33. you lose your abs

34. your hair can fall out

35. your nails can fall out

36. the umbilical cord can get stuck

37. your placenta can get left inside your coochie

38. surgery stuff can get left inside your cooch

39. they will throw food at you

40. they will throw toys at you.

41. they will sit on your face and fart

42. they will poke your eyes

43. they will pull on your earrings

44. they will ruin your favorite clothes

45. constant fever during pregnancy

46. utis during and after pregnancy

47. constant back pain

48. bleeding gums

49. constipation during and after pregnancy

50. diarrhea during and after p

51. gas and bloating during p

52. shitting yourself while p

53. frequent urination

54. acne breakouts all over body

55. hemorrhoids during p

56. fatigue

57. varicose veins

58. pressure on the hips/ pelvic area

59. swollen ankles

60. whole body swells

61. you have to sign up the kid to school

62. an extra expense in general

63. you have to wake up early to be santa on christmas

64. Your house will turn into a childcare facility

65. you can't take them out to many places

66. you have to know what shots they need to have

67. they will call you ugly

68. they sneeze on your face

69. they cough on your face

70. they will eat your food and not their own that you spent time preparing

71. irregular periods after birth

72. your nips get blisters

73. your baby daddy might leave you

74. high blood pressure for life

75. cant eat what you want during p

76. infections during birth

77. child can get infections.

78. gain extreme weight

79. lose extreme weight

80. stretch marks everywhere

81. increase shoe size

82. higher risk of diabetes

83. they always lose one shoe

84. they always lose one sock

85. you always have to carry an extra back pack

86. they get sick

87. your coochie changes shape

88. hurts when you sit after p

89. you have to pack their own lunch when you're out to eat

90. a lot of food on the floor

91. you have to help with homework

92. you have to carry around a heavy ass car seat

93. you have to buy 3 different types of car seats

94. they like the cold and will make you go outside when it snows

95. you have to know when to size up for diapers

96. miscarriages when trying to conceive

97. they can become bullies

98. they can get bullied

99. they will get hurt and leave you with medical bills

100. broken bones

101. kicks your intestines while pregnant

102. can get electrocuted

103. they will break your favorite things

104. they will shove tiny things up their face holes

105. you can shit yourself while giving birth

106. c section gone wrong

107. gain a child lose a tooth

108. they will snitch on you.

109. everyone will know you did the nasty

110. at least 10 strangers will look at your engorged vagina

111. kid can come out looking ugly af

112. the child can choke on its own feces while coming out

113. coochie burns when you pee

114. they bite

115. your booty might go flat

116. might still get period during p

117. nails get ugly/ dead after p

118. $600-800 daycare per month per child

119. husband stitch

120. pyogenic granulomat

121. gallstones

122. gingivitis

123. yeast infection

124. sciatic nerve pain

125. you can rip your clit

126. you can go blind

127. ovarian cyst

128. plantar fasciitis

129. chronic dry mouth

130. chin hair

131. nipple can fall off

132. odor for weeks that helps baby "find" you

[annaphoenix1994]

Little Blip - Part 2 of “First Christmas”

Masterlist - Part 1 Here

Simon fears being a first-time father.

“You’re going to be the best dad.”

Simon was obsessed with the life he was able to help create inside of you. Ever since the surprise on Christmas, it was an act of congress to get him to relax when it came to doing every day activities. You wanted to go for a walk? Forget the dog, Simon was coming with you. You wanted a coffee from your favorite shop? Don’t tell Simon, because he’ll get you decaffeinated coffee as he had been reading up on what a woman wasn’t supposed to have while pregnant. You wanted to go somewhere to pick up some things? He was coming with you. He was adamant on being the one to drive you places as he felt he was responsible for everything you did as it was his duty to be your protector.

You were now almost due, having a little bit of a complication along the way. You had gotten sick over the winter, leaving you with no appetite and no energy - two things you needed indefinitely. Simon refused to leave your side. He wanted you to go with him when he would go pick up checks or run his errands in town, but didn’t want to drag you along as you were too weak to do so. Instead, he opted to having his checks mailed to him and relying a lot on Door Dash and online ordering. He hated it, but he would rather be by your side during any complication as he always feared he would come back to find you distraught or worse…

He didn’t want to think about it, but the thought lived in the back of his head when he walked in seeing his mother, brother, sister-in-law, and nephew slain due to enemy forces years prior.

He couldn’t live with himself if something like that happened to you.

Every night, he spooned you, his hand resting securely on your growing bump, especially when the baby would be kicking. You two had agreed to know the gender for when the baby was born, wanting it to be a surprise. He hoped for a little boy, but would be overjoyed to have a girl as well.

You were due any day now and your hips were aching as the baby had moved lower into your abdomen. You were on edge as you remembered Soap telling you that his sister had her baby in the middle of the night when everything was calm. Peaceful weather, moderate warmth, and when she was having a good night’s sleep.

You were so ready to have this baby, but a part of you dreaded it as you weren’t the best when it came to tolerating pain.

If only you knew you were going to endure labor for almost twelve hours…

You had fallen asleep early that night, being the only one in bed as Simon was still wide awake, begging to make himself sleepy as he turned on a boring channel of the TV, leaving you alone in the room to sleep soundly as he knew you hadn’t been sleeping well the last few weeks.

He startled as he heard his phone buzz on the table, seeing it was a text from Soap. Fucking hell.

He couldn’t deny that he loved his friend dearly, but always wondered why he had to reach out in the middle of the night.

He knew Soap was snickering behind his screen, knowing Simon was just messing with him. They were brothers, no matter how much they didn’t see eye-to-eye in the field. They always kept an eye out for each other.

He shook his head, deciding to call it a night as he made his way to the bedroom, seeing you still laying on your side from when you first lay down - a pillow snuggly under your stomach as well as between your knees to take the strain off of your hips. He easily lowered himself on the bed, reaching over you to turn the lamp off, wondering how your eyes weren’t straining from the mild light.

He was a man that had to sleep with every light off. No matter what.

He kissed your temple, raising the comforter over your shoulder before easing his right arm under your head, keeping the pillow between your head and his arm as he pressed against you, but kept enough space to keep you comfortable as you were prone to get overheated at night, especially during your pregnancy.

His left hand rested against your bump, his thumb rubbing soft circles over your skin as he felt the baby kick, a pinch of excitement ringing in his chest as he was beyond ecstatic to see the baby. He was so fucking ready to meet him/her. Although he wouldn’t admit that he was absolutely terrified to see the amount of pain you were about to endure just to give him a child.

You didn’t move when he snuggled against you as your slumber was much needed. Your breathing was relaxed and your body was taking advantage of your relaxation.

Simon’s head was laying on the pillow behind your head, the smell of your hair comforting him as his breathing was relaxed as well.

It was now a quarter past four a.m. when he felt you rustling next to him, groaning in discomfort as you were sitting on the edge of the bed, your hand bracing against your knee. Oh, fuck.

“What’s wrong?” Simon asked, his voice deep from his sudden awakening as he sat up in the bed, leaning over to check in on you.

“Just hurting,” You panted. “Feels like they’re doing flips in there.”

“Do we need to go?” He asked, concern coating his voice. He didn’t know what to do besides panic.

You shook your head, “No, I think I’ll be alright. I’m just cramping.”

Simon nodded, “Okay. Just let me know if we need to go.” He advised, helping you ease down back on the bed as you asked, helping you put a pillow between your knees and making sure you were comfortable before he lay back down. Only this time, he was wide awake. He had a gut feeling something was about to happen.

He watched you sleep as another hour went by. It broke his heart to watch you groan in pain as you were desperate to get rest. Being completely ignorant about what was going to happen, he began searching the internet on his phone on what to do when you went into labor. Do I give her space or what? I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do.

You began groaning louder, awakening at a sudden and sharp pain. In initial reaction, he shot up, ready to carry you to the nearest hospital. You gripped the pillow as sweat began to bead on your forehead.

You were going into labor.

“I-I think we need to go,” You whimpered, reaching for his hand while he was laying next to you. “I’m starting to hurt really bad.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck! Why did Soap have to jinx me?! That bastard! Simon was beginning to freak out and he put cussing out Soap at the back of his mind for when he saw him next. He shot up from the bed, jamming his phone into the pocket of his sweatpants as he rushed to your side of the bed, not even giving you the chance to try to sit up on your own. You wrapped your arm around his neck as he lifted you up effortlessly as he rushed towards the door that led into the garage. “Don’t drop me.” You whined as you worried he would fall on his own feet.

“Not a chance,” He replied, leaning down and opening the car door while you were still in his grasp, easing you down effortlessly into the seat and ensuring the seatbelt was secure around you and the bump. “I’ll be right back. Going to get the keys.” He assured you, placing a comforting kiss on your forehead before rushing back into the house for his car keys.

He wanted to floor it. Wanted to get you there faster than any ambulance, but it killed him with how the roads were slick and he forced himself to be more careful, but it made him anxious to hear you in pain next to him when he couldn’t do anything about it.

Once at the hospital, he didn’t give you a chance to try and walk on your own, carrying you bridal style into the E.R. before a nurse greeted you with a wheelchair. The nurse didn’t dare tell Simon she could take over, so she let him push you until you were securely in a room.

“How far apart are your contractions?” The nurse asked you as she began taking your blood pressure and making sure you were comfortable on the bed.

“About ten minutes if I had to guess.” You panted.

She nodded, “Okay. Signs of early labor, then.”

Fucking hell, Simon thought, his anxiety through the roof as the time was here. He swore he’d have to have his blood pressure checked before he left with as much as he stressed out about it.

With an I.V. and monitor later, your contractions began to get closer together over the course of the next couple of hours. Simon’s eyes stared hard at every uncomfortable movement you made. With every groan, moan, and whimper, his eyes were on you. It killed him that he couldn’t do anything about it, but he knew from your words that him being there was plenty enough.

You began to get comfortable between contractions, only being roughly three centimeters dilated. The nurse suggested to sit on a yoga ball to help movement in your hips. Once that became uncomfortable, you wanted to walk, but Simon wouldn’t let you. Instead, you stood with your back against his chest and your arms around his neck. You were leaning completely against him, his frame holding you up with no effort at all. He rocked you gently as you wanted, focusing the feeling of his warmth against you to take your mind off of the pain you were feeling.

He looked at your face as you began going through another contraction. His lips were against your ear before he whispers in a reminding tone, “Breathe, sweetheart. Just breath. I’ve got you.”

You blushed as he placed a supportive kiss behind your ear, leaning into him again to refrain from putting more strain on your back, but nothing seemed to get better at this point.

“Do you want this heating pad on your back?” He asked, picking it up from the nearby chair. You shook your head, desperate to feel the warmth on your back in hopes of it helping to relieve the aching muscles in your back.

Hours went by of intense contractions, each one getting more intense, but they took their time on getting closer together. The sun was up in the sky and the world went on around you. Simon hadn’t let up from your side and you were grateful for his loyalty to you, but you wished he’d take the time to get rest for himself as it was clear in his eyes that he was tired.

You had forgotten your phone at home, but Simon leant you his to play games to keep your mind occupied. You hadn’t realized he had been texting Soap until a message notification popped up on the screen. You couldn’t help but grin at it, knowing it was a conversation about how worried he was about you. You didn’t open his messages to respect his privacy, although he wouldn’t care if you did, but the only message you saw was when Soap had texted Simon back simply saying: ‘Good luck, brother. Let me know when we’re able to come. Blessings your way, L.t.’

You were so thankful that Simon had such an amazing friend. He was still close with the other members of the 141, but he and Soap were battle buddies most of the time, Soap being the only one aside from you that knew Simon best.

You looked over at him as he sat in the chair next to you, his leg shaking impatiently as it was clear he was anxious. He stared at the I.V. that was in your hand and the monitor that was around your bump, praying that the nurse put it on right. “What’s wrong, baby?” You frowned, setting his phone aside to give him full attention.

“I’m just worried.”

“I am, too. If I’m honest I’m scared to death.”

“There’s no need to be,” He replied, his eyes moving to look at you. “You have it all under control.”

You furrowed your brows. It was clear you and him weren’t on the same page at that moment. “What do you mean?”

“You won’t have to worry whether or not you’re going to be a good mother. I know you are. So does everyone else. I’m worried I won’t be a good father. What if he or she ends up like me?”

“Then we’ll be proud of them.”

His head darted your direction, his gaze intense, but soft.

“Come here?” You asked, opening your arms as you were craving his warmth and comforting touch.

He did as he was asked with no hesitation, sitting on the side of the hospital bed watching your left hand search for his. He took that delicate hand and traced the I.V. with his thumb tenderly, afraid he was going to hurt you, before toying with the engagement ring on your left ring finger, watching the Diamond glisten in the natural light.

“You need to give yourself more credit, babe,” You said. “You’ve had it rough, but you made something of yourself. You didn’t let what you went through define you.”

All he could do was nod. He didn’t have an answer as it was always hard for him to accept a compliment, but he tried to understand. He brought your hand up to his lips, placing a gentle and warm kiss to your knuckles before pressing a kiss to your forehead. You closed your eyes at the sensation, humming peacefully before you began to feel a tightness in your abdomen. Another contraction was coming.

You had thought against it, but the pain was unbearable. You didn’t want to go through with an epidural, but once it was offered, you were desperate to rid any type of pain you were feeling. Simon was allowed by your side with the doctor and two nurses came in behind him. He could sense your anxiousness was close as they helped move you into position. They provided you a pillow to hug close to you as you were advised to curl over to where your body looked like a C to open up the spinal bones.

Simon sat in front of you, his gaze fixated on your face as well as on the doctor. He knew you were going to be hurting and it killed him that he couldn’t do anything about it. You gripped his hand as his other hand was on your now bare arm, the warmth of his palm distracting you from the needle that was now between the bones of your spine. “Relax, honey. Just breathe.” A nurse advised as she checked on you.

“It burns so bad.” You whimpered, tears forming in your eyes as your face began to get red, instantly making Simon more worried than he already was.

“Hey, look at me,” You heard him say. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

You forced yourself to nod as you waited a few more minutes before you were guided back down onto the bed so the nurses could check your blood pressure and on the baby.

You were now to the point where it was time to push. Having felt the “ring of fire,” you were on edge as the pain felt to be too immense for you to handle. You felt like the epidural didn’t do it’s job, but you wanted to find something to blame as the pain didn’t go away.

The grip you had on Simon’s hand was impressive. He knew you were strong, but damn, you made his fingers turn white when you’d squeeze his hand when another contraction would hit. Sweat beaded on your forehead as you panted, Simon holding your right leg behind your knee as well as the other nurse, helping you bring your legs up to push more comfortably.

“Keep pushing, sweetheart. You’re so close.” He encouraged you as his thumb rubbed the top of your hand as you continued to continued to squeeze for dear life.

“Keep breathing,” The nurse added. “I need you to breathe and push again. Your baby is crowning! We’re so close!”

A rush of excitement shot through Simon’s stomach as he peered down to look at the beautiful sight before him. As much as you hated him seeing you like this, you admired that he could push your insecurities aside because he didn’t care how you looked - you were giving him a beautiful being and he admired and loved you for it.

You squeezed your eyes shut as you did one final push, swearing up and down that you felt yourself tear in half before you heard a wail. You panted as Simon moved a piece of hair from your face, not caring that your lips were dry and your eyes were red. You were so beautiful to him. He cupped your cheek with his free hand as he gave you a warm kiss to your lips. “I love you so much.”

Tears rolled down your puffy cheeks as he wiped them away as fast as they formed. “I love you too.”

Simon watched as the nurses cleaned the baby with a blanket and placing the baby on your chest for skin-to-skin. “It’s a girl.” She whispered.

You let the tears roll now. A perfect copy of you and Simon as she lay on your chest. Simon pressed his lips to your forehead again, praising you for a job well done. He too fought tears of his own. I love your mother, but I believe I’ve fallen head over heels for you, he thought. “It’s a girl.” You repeated, your eyes relaxing with afterglow.

“Absolutely beautiful.” He smiled at the sight below him.

“She’s perfect.”

[sukirichi]

reckless [01.]

With a lackadaisical playboy as your boss, being reckless wasn’t an option. But on the one time you let loose and made mistakes, your life is shattered, and now you’re playing house with your insufferable boss who is the father of your baby.

✘ cw. explicit smut, accidental pregnancy, playboy! gojo, slight angst

✘ note. dedicated to wifey @7tsumurai​ who also made the banner and always supports me and showers me with love aaaa i love you baby <3 also this fic is mostly romance and fluff so i hope you enjoy this as much as i did writing it! thank you to @chosonore​ for pr-ing UWU. and we get like...10-15 chapters of this?!

one  ✘  two  ✘  three

You shouldn’t be doing this.

The night was young; streaks of gold flashing with the shimmering jewellery collared on your neck, the romantic humming of the violins pairing perfectly with the champagne that fizzed in your hand. It was supposed to be another day at work where you accompanied your boss to one of his events, considering the Casanova refused to bring his girlfriends in fear they might get the wrong idea he liked them outside the bed. It should be just another day at work; you’ve accompanied him hundreds of times before. Today wasn’t any different.

And yet it was.

You blamed it on the alcohol. On the slow dancing. On the fact he hadn’t stopped complimenting you all night and you’d been so stressed, the amount of planning and sleepless nights sacrificed in exchange of preparing for this event made you grab for three more flutes, the touch of your undeniable attractive boss permanent on your waist.

Satoru was equally aggravated. You’d worked him long enough to recognize even the smallest of cues, and the fact you’d spend nearly every hour of the day working with him for weeks straight in the office let you know he needed to let off some steam.

And what better way to relieve both of your tensions if not to give in to the cloud of lust?

The sultry gazes, the clashing perfumes between rose and musk, and the alcohol – the fucking alcohol – that gave way to you succumbing to your desire just this once.

There were no more thoughts – or if there were, they were muddled – as you kissed him back just as passionately, forgetting the fact his stylist spent an hour gelling his hair back to perfection as your eager fingers traced over his scalp. How you ended up in the back of limousine was beyond you, and neither was it your biggest concern when Satoru insisted you kept your heels on; his large hands caressing all the way from the ankle pressed beside his waist up to your waist.

You felt his daft fingers move the lacy thong you wore especially for tonight (not because you expected something, but the boost in confidence felt necessary) before he slides inside almost too easily.

Both your gasps and moans are swallowed in the stuffy compartment, windows fogged saved for the handprint you’d left when he hit a sensitive spot. He was moaning in your neck, skin slippery and sweaty as you slid from one another, seemingly never staying from one place as your hands treaded through his hair down to rake your nails on his back; his touch angry on your hips before his thumb found home in your clit.

As much as you hated him, hated his reputation, you couldn’t deny he really earned his title for being an absolute god in sex. You were no virgin, but you’d never felt this good, never felt this alive as bruises began to form in your skin and his lips hungrily sought out yours.

“S-Sir...”

“Satoru,” he corrected through your lips, the kiss barely even one when you were too busy moaning left and right. Satoru hitched your leg up to fold it right beside your waist, allowing him to explore deeper territories that not even you could mark.

His stare on you is perverted; openly wanton as he lets his empyrean gaze snake down to where your bodies connected. It was embarrassing to be this spread wide open for him, though it didn’t matter much, not when you clutched onto his bicep for dear life and panted breathlessly. He was kissing you everywhere – smearing your lipstick all over your lips and his, a stain of red on his hard, white collar and love bites marked deep into your collarbones and under your breasts. You tightened around him once he changed his rhythm into a more sensual one; the quick pace replaced with him pulling out slowly – inch by delicious inch until you felt empty with each growing second – before slamming back inside with fervidity that he never quite possessed behind his desk.

He groaned at your walls clenching down on him, his hips stuttering in the process. “Call me Satoru.”

“Satoru,” you moaned out, and his next sounds were pained. Pained because you sounded too gorgeous, felt too good, and with you following his hips thrust by thrust, neither of you would last any longer. Not even as you shake your head, lips swollen as you remind him, “We shouldn’t be doing this.”

“We shouldn’t,” he agreed with a curled lip, sweat beading from the streaks of his white hair. “But I want you – god, you’re so beautiful tonight. Need to fuck you good—”

Gojo Satoru, one of the most eligible bachelors in the entire South East Asia and ranked as the second richest man in his early twenties, was a man of his word despite his reputation. Just as he was praised and fawned over for his beauty, charisma, and power, he was equally hated for breaking the hearts of women and treating his past ‘lovers’ like they were objects. The news were so confident of it; that he fooled them, played around with them, but behind the scenes, you knew Satoru wouldn’t do such a thing – from the first time he laid his eyes on someone, he made it extremely clear they were not to be attached. Everything with him was physical and sensual – anything beyond that would simply be out of character.

You weren’t surprised that he really did keep his word and fuck you good, because you couldn’t feel your legs the next morning and even though it had been hours, you still very much felt the shape of him carve through you.

The bastard wouldn’t stop laughing, of course, snickering under his breath every now and then each time he saw you grimace from doing simple things such as standing up and giving him the files he asked for. Perhaps it was because your dislike for him was apparent that Satoru quickly went back to fooling around, pretending you didn’t exist and only approaching you when need be. There were still moments you had to clean his mess up for him; taking his drunken phone calls at 3am because he got wasted in a bar, or doing the same for his current sex buddy who he didn’t want to stay in his home.

He was terrible, terribly awful that you despised this part of him.

You were only grateful enough that neither of you brought that night up ever again, for no matter how immensely hellish of an experience it had been, it was also something you’d really rather not be reminded of.

But now, there was no more running away from it. The truth stared at you blatantly in the form of two white lines that had appeared four times already from previous tests.

You were pregnant.

The world had never been that heavy on you. You had a rough upbringing, but it was a household filled with love and patience that it was innate in your nature to keep strong, be levelled, continue moving forward even during the times it felt like everyone and everything was going against you. You’d been through so much worse and you can do this, but you still couldn’t stop the tears that pushed from your eyes, your heart shattering the same time you dropped the stick.

“No, we won’t cry, it’s okay. I can handle this – I’m strong,” you repeated to yourself like a mantra, taking deep breaths to stabilize yourself. Clearly, this was unexpected, but you wanted to do your best, had to do your best. You didn’t have time to lose your composure, so you quickly fished your phone out your purse to dial the person you trusted the most.

“Rei...?”

Your best friend picked up on the second dial. “Sweetheart, where have you been?! I’ve been calling you for like hours now and you’re not picking up, I heard you called in sick for work and you never do that even when you’re about to pass out!” Some shuffling could be heard from the background before she spoke again, her tone a lot more gentle in response to your muted sniffles. “Is there something going on? Do you need me to drop by there right now? Tell me what you need; I’ll be there right away.”

“No, no, Rei, it’s fine, I just...”

“Sweetie,” she sighed, “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

You nodded even though she couldn’t see it. Rei had been there for you in everything, starting from when you newly arrived in the city; fresh-eyed and hopeful for new opportunities. She’d been there when you first complained your boss was a creepy flirt, all the way until you’d made peace with said boss and remained firm in your boundaries. But those boundaries had clearly been crossed – no, rather, you erased those boundaries. You were drunk enough to give in to the need to be touched, but sober enough to consent to everything that happened. You couldn’t place this all on him.

“I’m pregnant,” you said eventually, voice barely above a whisper as you added, “And Satoru’s the father.”

Rei stopped munching on her – you assume – bagel.

“Satoru? Gojo Satoru, your boss, bonafide casanova, the face on billboards and one of the most “eligible” bachelors in the country, billionaire Gojo Satoru?” she let out in one breath, the image of her flipping her hand out in the air in disbelief as clear as day. “Am I really hearing this right? I’m not going crazy, am I?”

You sighed.

“We were drunk. I slept with him.”

“Did that bastard force himself on you?”

“No, gosh, never,” you defended with widened eyes, sitting back down on the toilet with the lid now closed. You couldn’t look at the tests even if you dared yourself to, the plastic bag concealed in the garbage or else you’d feel sick all over again. “I-I wanted it too...we just got carried away and the night was just...I don’t know. I don’t know what came over me and why I did that, but there’s no point in fretting about it because I’m carrying his baby now.”

“Well,” she started unsurely, “What are you going to do?”

“I’m keeping it. There’s no way I would even consider abortion.”

“But what about him?”

The back of your head throbbed in pain. Just thinking about his stupidly handsome face made you want to throw up once more. “I don’t really want to tell him, but he has a right to know that he’s going to be a father.”

“Will he even take responsibility for it?”

You swallowed nervously, nibbling on your thumbnails before snatching your hand away. Composure was something you didn’t struggle with; you were the more reliable one in the duo of you and Satoru, but you had a bad habit of picking on your nails whenever you were anxious. Had it not been for Satoru flicking your nails away from your mouth each time you dazed out a little bit, you would’ve never gotten rid of the habit, but it all came crashing back down on you in an instant.

A heavy knot formed in your belly.

“Most likely not, I know how he’s like. He loves his single life so much that he’d never allow to be tied down like this. I wouldn’t even be surprised if he tells me he doesn’t want it.”

“What an asshole!”

“Yeah, he is, but I don’t need him in my life,” you reinstated, finally feeling more confident the longer you talked to Rei. She was your instant hype machine in more ways than one; her presence itself gave you the reassurance you could handle everything your way. With hope blooming in your chest, you picked yourself of the toilet and wiped away your tears. You could do this – you can handle this. Not just for you, but this baby growing in you as well.

“In our life. I’m more than capable of taking care of the baby myself,” you told her, gaze hard and determined as your sunken reflection stared back at you in the mirror. Sighing, you shook your head and pictured Satoru’s face, already picturing a thousand ways this could go wrong. Only one way to find out.

“I have to go now. He needs to hear about this and then I’ll resign. Probably move back home – anywhere that’s away from him.”

“Doesn’t the baby deserve to meet their dad?”

“Their dad doesn’t even want to be one,” you muttered bitterly and threw your sweater back on, refusing to kick yourself around any harder. Now wasn’t the time to be illogical; you were now a mother and had to be responsible now more than ever. But first, you needed some well-deserved rest after endless agonizing of missing your period, along with the baby drop that until now, had shook you to your core. “I’ll call you back, Rei. I’m very tired.”

“You let me know if you need anything, okay?” Humming in response, you ended the call and crawled back to bed.

It wasn’t that you felt lonely, but you didn’t feel particularly belonging anywhere. You were far from home in a city that felt like the future, and each day you come home, it was mostly just a place to rest before you went back to work the next day. It was a dull, empty routine that you’d gotten used to, but never had it sunk deep into you that you did felt completely hollow.

But not anymore.

You were with your baby now, and as much as it scared you shitless to be a mother with zero preparation and knowledge, you were confident things were going to be okay.

Wrapping an arm around your belly, you had the best sleep you’d had in years.

You’d just have to worry about tomorrow. Hopefully, and you quite prayed harder than you ever did before, Satoru would let you go and keep things less complicated than it already was.

“No,” Satoru shook his head, his words dropping like a heavy boulder in the middle of nowhere. You stood in front of him shock still, hands wrung solid beneath your belly. Satoru merely shook his head, brushing back his gelled hair with a dry laugh. “No, what are you even thinking? You’re not resigning.”

You pursed your lips. “I wasn’t really asking for permission, Sir.”

Truth be told, you expected this sort of reaction from him. It may be true that you and Satoru never got along in personal levels since he was too crass and you much stiff, but it couldn’t be denied you worked well together. You balanced each other’s flaws and brought out the best in one another. If someone had asked you years ago prior to you being employed by the heir if you could even tame the renowned free spirited man, you would’ve said probably not, but after sharing struggles and quite literally forcing one another to do better, you both reached highs neither expected to achieve.

It was an experience and a whole lot lessons learned working with him.

Unfortunately, all things must come to an end, and you had to leave even if Satoru negated to it.

“We’ve been working together for years. Do you know how many people I fired and have resigned all because they’re not equipped for the job?” he plopped down atop his desk, loosening his tie out of frustration. The simple gesture made you swallow and look away – it felt impossible to look at him any other way than a boss now that you had his baby inside you. Thankfully, Satoru was mouthy as usual that he pulled you back from your train of thoughts as he gestured between the both of you. “You and I are perfectly compatible – I can’t let you go like that. I’m sorry, but I need you. There’s no one else I can work with this functionally. No one else is as willing to tolerate my bullshit except you and...I need you to stay.”

You clenched your teeth at the desperation in his voice.

Satoru admitting he needed people was one thing. But him asking others to stay? It may have just been for your value as the only person who had put up with him in both his best and worst times that made him feel that way, but you had to keep your foot down on the ground.

You wouldn’t let him sway you like this.

Taking a deep breath, you closed your eyes and willed all your energy to spring forth. “Sir...I’m more than thankful for all the opportunities, it truly was a pleasure working with you but—”

“Is this because we slept together?” he cut you off, your shoulders tensing. Upon your silence, Satoru heaved himself away from the desk and took cautious step towards you, stopping a foot away when you stepped back defensively.

You almost wished you didn’t know him so well. His eyes shone with a flicker of hurt before he masked it just as quick as it had came – for Gojo Satoru was a master of many things, and a great actor was one of them. Cautious, you had to be cautious, and you clenched your fists behind your pencil skirt as you tore your gaze away from his pleading ones. “It is, isn’t it?” he affirmed with a clear of his throat, looking just as lost as you did. Satoru stuttered for a minute before he eventually composed himself, but even then, he didn’t sound half as sure as he wanted to be.

“Listen, whatever happened that night, we can forget about it if you want. We’re both adults and professionals – we can put this aside us and just go back to normal. You don’t have feelings for me, right? So then it shouldn’t be a big deal.”

“Satoru...it’s not like that.”

“Then what is it?” he demanded, aggravated. Satoru began to round his desk and pulling out little white envelopes, stacking them before you in a haste. “Do you want a pay raise? A new car so you could get to work easily? O-or perhaps a bigger house where you can work more comfortably, somewhere nearer to the office? All you have to do is tell me and I’ll give you what you want. There’s no need for you to resign, this company has given you everything and we’ve got so much offer just as you could still be great—”

“I’m pregnant.”

Satoru’s slender fingers halted around the pen hovering over a cheque slip. “What?”

“I said I’m pregnant,” you exhaled, biting down on your bottom lip to prevent yourself from quivering. A quick sweep from your face to gather sincerity trailed down to your belly, staring at you hard enough as if he had the ability to look through your soul. “And you’re the father.”

“Is that true? Is...is it really mine?”

“Yes sir,” you nodded, “I’m not telling you this because I expect that you’ll be responsible for it. No offense, sir, but I’d really rather raise the baby alone. Plus, I understand that you’ll never settle down or suddenly abandon your old ways just to—”

“Stop right there,” he raised a palm, “You mean to tell me you’re resigning because you thought I wouldn’t take responsibility for it? For you?”

The hurt in his voice and expressions were evident, lip curled in disgust; not for you, but rather of himself. Satoru was the type of man that couldn’t be withered down even with the harshest of rumours; you’d never seen him be affected before by tabloids and nasty ex-girlfriends who only slept with him for money or fame, only to talk smack about him afterwards. But now, he was crumbling before you, and you didn’t know quite what to say or feel over the vulnerability present in his cerulean eyes. It almost pained you know that you caused this – for the comforting, blue sky to be tainted with a thunderstorm that hinted of anger, of disappointment, of betrayal.

But could he blame you for not thinking the best of him?

“I’ve worked with you for years, sir, I know you.”

“Clearly not well enough,” he chuckled sarcastically, “Admittedly, I’m surprised, but not upset. The only thing that I’m upset about is that you actually believed it would be better to raise the baby – our baby – alone like I don’t even have a right to be in their life. Sure, it was an accident, but we made that. That’s our child and I’m going to take care of you and be a great father, even if you don’t think I’m capable of it.”

“Sir, I didn’t mean—”

“That’s the first time you said something stupid. That’s our baby. We’re a family now,” Satoru’s hesitance had vanished into thin air as he was on you the next instant, hands shaky before they landed on your shoulders. It was meant to be a comforting gesture; a reassuring one, yet you couldn’t help but flinch and falter under his gaze. As if getting the message, he quickly retracted his hands and shoved them deep inside his pockets with a sigh. “You don’t need to resign or worry about anything else. I promise I’ll give you both the life you deserve, just...just please don’t go. Now that I know we have a baby, there’s just no way I can let go of this and pretend I never heard of this at all.”

You swallowed, rubbing your sweaty palms on your skirt.

Out of all the different scenarios you stayed up late at night to turning your head in one by one, none of them included this. Undeniably, he was an asshole to most, but maybe he was right.

He hadn’t done anything wrong to you and he was still the father of your baby; he deserved a chance. Satoru had the right to be the father he was willing to be. You could already tell this might completely turn into one big mess, but his eyes were so hopeful, his smile so nervous yet expectant that you couldn’t help but say –

“Okay,” you relented.

His reaction was instantaneous. Satoru beamed and lounged at you, arms wide open for an embrace before realizing at the last second you could stab him with a pen and not regret it. One warning glare sent his way and he was retracing his arm behind his head, pretending to stretch with an off-tune whistle.

The sudden switch between pained and enthusiastic gave you whiplash, but you really shouldn’t be surprised. This was Gojo Satoru in the first place – he was as unpredictable as nothing was permanent and lasting to him.

It could be both a blessing and a curse.

For the sake of your baby, you genuinely hoped it was the former.

Not wanting him to get too ahead of himself since you still didn’t trust him enough, you raised a finger to poke him in the chest. Right now, you were no longer his secretary that openly despised him but added six sugar cubes in his coffee just as he liked anyway, but rather a woman who shared this mess with him, and as the mother of his child. You had to be strong. Being with Satoru felt like playing with fire, and you had far too much at stake – both of you did – but you weren’t privileged and fortunate like Satoru. One bad thing thrown his way could be brushed off, but for you? Everything you worked hard for could disappear just like that.

If you really chose now to play with fire, you had to be careful not to be the gasoline that ignited things to burn down into ashes.

“Satoru,” you stressed with your lips pressed into a thin line, “The only thing I expect from you is to be is a good father to our child. I know that it would be difficult for you to be a new person in a day and that your old habits won’t die right away, so please do what you can to be a good parent, and I’ll be with you every step of the way. I promise you don’t have to worry about me getting in the way of your life as well.”

His smile slowly vanished.

“Is that how low you really think of me?” he echoed rather sadly, “That I would still sleep around knowing I’ve got a family now?”

“We’re not a family, Sir. I have no intentions of marrying you nor would I ever want it. I’m just staying for the baby.”

“Fine. For the baby, let’s both do our best,” he crossed his arms on his chest, pumping out the hard muscles from how tight his shirt was. You were stuck between wanting to slap him or be closer to him; the hormones too much of a mess that you had to grip your thigh for restraint. “But tomorrow, you’re moving in with me. I’m going to take care of you from now on – I’ll get you whatever you need so whatever it is, just tell me. My credit card is yours to use as well.”

Move in with him? You wanted to laugh. That was the last thing you would want to happen.

“Sir, it’s fine, I’m capable of taking care of myself.”

“I didn’t say you weren’t, but I want to take care of you both,” he reiterated, growing slightly annoyed from your rigidness. You professed that you were being difficult right now, but it was much better than being easy around someone like him.

“We don’t have to be friends or lovers, alright? I know you don’t see me that way and I’m probably repulsive in your eyes – which is understandable since you always clean my mess up for me – but as a father, at least, let me do my job. There doesn’t have to be anything between us other than a mutual want to be good parents. Is that alright with you?”

You mulled the thought over in your head. So he was capable of being sensible sometimes, and after a few moments of silence, you narrowed your eyes at him.

Still suspicious and your guard was most definitely still up, but he was right. You both had a mutual want to be good parents and that was the most important thing right now. Everything else that complicated matters would be handled afterwards.

“I’m okay with that, but I would have to set down lots of boundaries if I’m living with you.”

“So you’ll really stay with me then?” You regretted nodding in response because Satoru was now fishing his phone out, a goofy smile on his face.

He took the news...surprisingly well, and you didn’t know what to make of it.

“Perfect! I’ll have your room prepared!” You tried to grab his arm to stop him from going overboard; knowing full well Satoru always had rushes in which he impulsively overdoes things. He might turn your room into some sort of grand suite that you wouldn’t really like, but he was far too excited and lost in his own thoughts that your words went from one ear and out the other. “Fuck,” he laughed to himself, “I’m going to be a dad.”

Whether it was relief or anxiety that bubbled through you, you had no idea.

It was definitely anxiety.

Satoru felt like a hyper child to be around, and as much as you were grateful that he was happy about this, you also wished he would calm down. You didn’t even have enough chance to settle in before he’s shoving you inside room by room, announcing that what was his was also yours and he would have a baby room set up next week.

You followed him around like a puppy as he marched into the kitchen, mumbling incoherently to himself about baby proofing furniture.

“Sir,” you called out, “Sir, listen to me. We need to talk about boundaries.”

Satoru blinked owlishly at your tired eyes, sheepishly smiling at you. It must’ve dawned on him that his speed tour of his penthouse felt a lot more overwhelming than welcoming, and he sat you down on the island stools before drumming his fingers impatiently on the cool marble. “Sorry, you were saying? I kind of got carried away.”

Carried away was far an understatement.

“I said, we need to talk about boundaries.”

“Oh, yeah, right,” he paused with a furrow in his brow. “Also can you just call me Satoru? We’re going to be parents anyway and it’s awkward if you keep uh, calling me Sir.”

“Fine,” you rolled your eyes, not really in the mood to argue with him right now. You had to keep intact with him while you still had his full attention. Taking out a little notepad you prepared the night before, you slid it over Satoru who tilted his head to the side rather cutely to read it. “So here are my boundaries. One, I don’t want this pregnancy to be announced in the media unless I’m ready. I understand that we can’t keep this a secret forever but I need time to process this. Two, just because we’re living in the same roof together doesn’t mean that I get to go anywhere and everywhere with you. I’m going to work by myself—”

“No.”

“What do you mean no?”

“I said no,” he repeated more firmly this time. “You’re pregnant and I want to make sure you’re safe at all times. I’m driving you to work.”

“Didn’t you just hear what I said? I don’t want to be seen with you.”

“You’re my secretary. People see us together all the time.”

“But you never drove me to work! I live far from the office and I most definitely don’t drive an Audi.”

“Things change, that’s your life now,” Satoru shrugged nonchalantly, stealing the pen you twirled in your hands. The sudden contact sent jolts of electricity from your knuckles, one that had you recanting your hands back to yourself. Satoru didn’t seem to notice as he crosses out the second rule, “Sorry not sorry but I don’t want to let you go places like that. Fine by me if you don’t want me to drive you, but at least have one of the chauffeurs take you somewhere if you really don’t wanna be seen with me.”

“Fine,” you gritted your teeth. Compromise, compromise, meet in the middle – you repeated to yourself to keep your sanity. “Rule number three: I don’t want you changing your attitude around me. We may have a baby on the way, but you’re still my boss and I want to keep our relationship professional.”

“You’re saying I’m not allowed to fall in love with you?”

You flicked his forehead, effectively erasing the teasing grin he wore. “That’s not going to happen,” you interjected irritably, although your heart skip a beat. That was a massive red flag already; you could never be too comfortable with him. For Satoru, his little comments here and there may come naturally and probably meant nothing to him, but there was a chance you could receive it with different interpretations. Shaking your head at him, you ignored his grumblings on how ‘mean’ you were. “We’re never going to be a couple. We’re just raising a child together. I don’t want you acting weird or too comfortable with me.”

Satoru scratched the side of his head as he mulled about it, “Are we allowed to be friends, at least? I understand the professional part, but I can’t imagine the both of us getting along for nine months and more when we act like boss and employee even alone at home,” before you could say anything, Satoru raised his hands in surrender. “I promise I won’t do anything weird to you. No offense, but you’re not really my type, so same as you, I view you platonically.”

Right. The heart surely was stupid and confusing.

You didn’t want him getting any ideas that this could lead to something more, but at the same time, it hurt a little to know you weren’t his type.

Hiding that pang of hurt behind a tight lipped smile, you forced yourself to agree with him. “I view you professionally, Sir.”

“Satoru.”

“Whatever,” you grumbled. “Rule number four: don’t bring home any of your fuck buddies or flavour of the night. I really don’t care if you sleep around, but respect my privacy and my standing as the mother of your childIf you’re really desperate to get your dick wet, go fuck them somewhere else.”

“You’ve never been this vulgar with me.”

He wasn’t wrong about that. Despite countless of times that he tried being friendly with you to ease your stiffness in the office, you always shot him down.

You came to the city to work and provide for your family, not to be friends with your annoyingly hot boss who enjoyed his life way too much. Unlike him, you were more work than play, and eventually Satoru respected the fact you would never speak or treat him casually.

Until now.

“Try being in my shoes and see if you’d still have the patience of a saint,” you mumbled under your breath, sighing when Satoru’s smile got more awkward. “Listen, Satoru, I don’t mean to be difficult, okay? It’s just...this is a lot. This isn’t just us about anymore – we’re going to be parents and that’s a huge responsibility. It’s not only our lives changing here, a child will be relying on us in the future and I simply want to be a good mother, but I also don’t trust you very well to be comfortable enough to act like we’re suddenly friends.”

“I understand that.”

“Good.”

“Do you have rule number five?”

“No, not really, but I can add more as we go.”

“I have a rule number five,” he piped in, flipping the notepad his way as he scribbled something down. “And it’s that if you need help – and I mean with anything – you would let me help you. I’ve worked with you for a long time and I’m not dumb enough to not notice you like to do things by yourself. Like you said, things are different now, and especially with this pregnancy, you’re not alone in this. You need to let me take over the wheel sometimes. I can’t be just a passenger in the car – you and I are both in this together.”

“Just keep your hands to yourself.”

“That’s easy,” he chirped, and there was that uncomfortable knot in your chest again. However, it didn’t sink in too deep because Satoru was blatantly staring at your belly, a small smile tugging at his lips. “So do we have a name for them already?”

“Satoru, I’ve only been a few weeks pregnant, I don’t—”

Conflicting his previous statement that he’d keep his hands to himself, Satoru suddenly dropped to his knees. You watched with wide eyes, too flabbergasted to move as he places his ear on your belly.

“Hi there, little one,” he spoke in a soft tone, large hands caressing the tiny bump beginning to form. You couldn’t move; hell, you could barely breathe from how comforting his touch seemed in contrast to your mind ringing warning bells above. His voice quickly pulled you back to reality as he flattened his palm, white lashes fluttering against the cotton of your shirt. “I’m your daddy; I can’t wait to meet you. Daddy promises to take good care of you and make you the happiest kid ever, alright? You don’t have to worry about anything as long as I’m here.”

“D-don’t spoil them too much, Satoru.”

“I’ll try not to,” he chuckled. Satisfied with that small moment he had, he straightened up and trudged over the dining table that was far too big for a man who lived alone. In that moment, an image flashed in your mind – that someday that table would no longer look empty as you and your child shared meals with him. You could already imagine how heavenly the sun would shine on the glass windows behind it, the flowers gathered in the middle of the table blooming to life.

Out of nowhere, it struck you.

Could it be that this was why he loved this baby so much after only knowing about it for a few days? Could it be that Satoru really was alone?

“Okay, we should probably have a welcoming dinner! The chefs left me something tonight. I forgot what it’s called but I think you’ll like it. Grab some wine on the cellar for me?”

“Satoru, I’m pregnant.”

“Oh, right! My bad,” he clapped his hands together before pulling out ceramics and a cold pitcher, “Just water for mommy then,” Satoru said absentmindedly, completely oblivious to how your mind short-circuited a few feet away from him. He went about his way ignorant to it all and gently tugged you to sit with him, eagerly digging into the heated meals as you realized both of you hadn’t eaten.

For a guy who talked a lot, dinner with him was surprisingly quiet. Other than the occasional clinking of utensils against the plate, you enjoyed the silence with him.

You wouldn’t have believed it to be possible since Satoru made it his daily business to always fill in the gaps. Peace and comfort stretched before you the whole time, however, that for a moment, just a short moment, you found yourself letting your guard down. Even when you both caught each other’s in the middle of a bite, you found no tension or awkwardness in it. Perhaps it was the familiarity of being beside each other for years now that this should feel natural, or maybe it was because you both mutually agreed on wanting the best for your baby. Whatever it was, you didn’t want to overcomplicate it right now.

“You know, I’m really excited about this. I can’t believe I’m actually going to be a father,” he mused through a bite, swirling his red wine through his glass. Satoru gazed at his reflection almost dreamily, seemingly too deep in thought that he felt far from reach.

Or maybe you were the one who was detached, the one who kept pushing him away, because you could offer him nothing but a lame nod. “I’m glad to hear that...”

“What about you? You don’t look too happy.”

Your eyes widened at his worry. “No, I-I’m happy, of course. It’s just...it’s unplanned, and I’ve had my whole life planned out that I’m not really sure how this will all fall into place together.”

“Hey,” he laced his fingers with yours, squeezing warmth back into your skin that you hadn’t noticed turned cold from the nerves. Unlike his usual self with eyes brimming with glee, you could only see tenderness in him now, some sort of silent vow through a private smile shared only between the two of you in that moment in the solace of his home. Your home. “I promise I’ll be there for you and the baby every step of the way. I know that I haven’t had the best reputation and I have zero idea on parenting, but you’re not alone in this. You can trust me on this one, just like how we always trusted each other during work. Being a parent and running a business are both responsibilities right?”

“Yeah...”

“Well then you already know we work well together. We’re great partners!” he cheered, patting your shoulder way too bro-like. You resisted the urge to cringe. “We’ll be great parents, Y/N. I’m sure of that.”

Unsure of what else to do, you squeezed his hand back. He was right, you would be great parents as long as both of you never gave up. The thought of eating meals with him again with another addition to the table made you smile, and you hadn’t noticed you were spacing out, thumb running over his knuckles that were smooth for a man who never knew a day of hard labour. It wasn’t until you felt something prodding at you metaphorically, and you chuckled nervously as you saw Satoru smiling mysteriously at you.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Nothing,” he grinned, “I’ve just never seen you this close before; not so much that I paid attention anyway. But this is nice – having you here, I mean. It gets lonely here sometimes.”

“Don’t you bring your girlfriends around?”

“I never make them stay,” was all he said, and just like that, whatever thread that was beginning to form snapped. Satoru released his hold on you and gestured to your plate, carrying the dishes in his hand before leaving you alone on the table. Like always – a whiplash. “I’ll clean up, you can rest in your room now. I’ll take care of the dishes.”

“Do you even know how to do them?”

“Yeah, my mother forced me to wash dishes because she didn’t want me to rely on the house help too much,” he informed, the new information shocking you right to the core as he put on dishwashing gloves and started scrubbing. From this angle, he sure looked damn nice and domestic in just a white shirt, hair ruffled down to bangs.  “I’ll be right there with you,” Satoru announces casually, spinning on his heel with red cheeks once he realized what he said. “For just a goodnight, I mean! We’re not sharing rooms!”

“Yeah, no,” you coughed out, “We’re definitely not.”

It felt…surreal, to wake up in a room much grandiose than yours yet felt like home even for the first night. Satoru handled your moving in rather happily; you found him singing to himself this morning as he brewed his own coffee before realizing you were right behind him, sleepy as you lazily made waffles for the both of you. Everything flowed nicely and normally, like this had always been a normal thing that for a moment, you questioned once more what would happen next.

You were now getting ready for work, hands tugging at his tie because he was such a man-child who couldn’t even properly knot his own tie. His suit was custom tailored and he looked effortlessly gorgeous – beauty ripped straight from magazines he was constantly a front page of, but his tie was skewered and loose that it irritated you.

“You’re such a mess without me.”

Satoru bent down to wiggle his brows at you, thought you didn’t notice because he wouldn’t stay still for you to fix his tie fast enough. “Isn’t this sweet; you fixing my tie for me as we both get ready for work?” he teased, “We’re like a married couple already.”

“If you don’t shut up, I’m kicking you in the nuts.”

“Then how can I give you more babies?” picking up the newspaper on the coffee table beside you, you rolled it and started whacking him, a string of profanities colorfully painting his otherwise monochrome and sleek walls. Satoru’s laughter boomed all over the room even as he wiggled away from you, clutching his bicep that had been the victim of your abuse. “Ow, ow, I was joking! Jeez, woman, you are strong. Fight men a lot like this?”

“I work with you. My fighting instincts are always activated.”

His laugh really was annoying. But it did help ease your nerves – though you’d never tell him that – as you sat beside him in his car, the expensive leather seats no longer strange to you. It would’ve felt like any other day where you accompanied him somewhere, except the reason was different now, and it came crashing down on you of your current situation that things were undeniably different from now on.

You immediately stepped away from him the moment you got out of the car, clutching your clipboard to your tummy when Satoru bumped his shoulder with yours. “Come closer, it’s fine. No one will suspect a thing,” he points to the crowded building with people bumping and walking past each other, everyone too occupied in their own heads to even notice you.

It wasn’t much, but hearing his voice and reassurances relaxed you, even for just a little bit. Maybe your first day at work after the baby news wouldn’t be so bad, after all, but it seemed you had spoken too early.

Satoru heavily insisted that you worked inside his office from now on.

Your desk was located right outside his office, the phone line always within reach in case you needed to pass calls to him or if he needed you to come. Satoru preferred the privacy of his own space – or so he said; he actually just didn’t want you to witness him slacking around and experience your wrath – but now he was dragging you inside his office, pushing your shoulders down until you were ‘settled in.’

You didn’t even want to ask where he got a new desk from, or why it had to be right across from him. His desk remained elevated on a few levels, the welcoming lobby of the room filled with couches and stacks of coffee with a rich amount of sugar cubes.

Safe to say, most of the morning was spent (or rather, wasted) on you telling Satoru off. The man was too persistent, coming in on the office at random times of the hour with either snacks or heaps of biscuits on his arms. He always greeted you with a wide grin on his face, only to be kicked out of his own office because you had his hellish schedule and events to deal with. That was around three hours ago when you’d asked him to shut up and go bother someone else. You were halfway around finishing your workload for today when the door swung open, a tuft of white hair and mischievous eyes peeking through.

“Hey! Just checking in on mommy—”

“Satoru!”

“What? It’s just you and I,” he defended with a shrug, welcoming himself inside. Surprisingly, he was empty handed, though the pout on his lips told you it was against his will. “Seriously though, do you need anything? Do you want snacks? Tea? Do you need help going to the bathroom? You haven’t moved in your desk for an hour now.”

“Satoru, I’m pregnant, not disabled,” you ignored him for a while, resuming to working back on his schedule for the month. There were a bunch of e-mails you still had to respond to, which normally wouldn’t be such a daunting task if Satoru wasn’t shifting his weight from one foot to another, the sounds of his shoes hitting the tiles in an annoying click-clack rhythm getting to you. “Will you stop fidgeting! Your anxiety gives me anxiety, stop that!”

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it, I just feel like there’s something I should be doing.”

“Shutting up and letting me work in peace would be great, thank you.”

“You really don’t need anything?” Sending him a warning glare, Satoru sucked in his cheeks and ran back to his desk where he hid behind the safety of his large monitor. “Nope, yeah, I got the message: leave you alone. Good luck with that then, I’ll need those archives to pull up for our meeting with the directors later at five.”

Muttering a sarcastic finally under your breath, you resumed working.

The routine was per usual – answer the calls professionally with a welcoming and sweet voice, a pen always in one hand to jot down notes in reminders, adjust his schedules, work out his plans, go to him whenever he needed to sign something before responding back to e-mails. You were focused as you always were, but someone wasn’t, and it was getting harder and harder to keep being placated.

It didn’t help that he made no effort to hide the fact he was slacking off, the tip-taps of him randomly pressing keys on the keyboard similar to a fork dragging down a plate.

“I can feel you burning holes at the back of my head,” you twittered, “What do you need?”

“Nothing at all. I’m just realizing how beautiful you are right now.”

You paused. Unable to deny your curiosity over how serious he sounded, you spun around in your swivel chair. Satoru had his chin on his hands as he stared right back at you, his face devoid of expression that you couldn’t pick up on a single clue. “Are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

You rolled your eyes at him. Of course the bastard would be teasing you, his loud chuckles a painful reminder of that. It was best to ignore him, so you went back to reading e-mails and forced yourself to focus on the task at hand. “We’re at work. Please stop distracting me; I can’t focus when you’re staring at me like a creep.”

“Sorry, babe, I’ll try to be less distracting next time, though I can’t control my charisma, you know!”

You jotted your thumb to your desk outside, “I can walk back to my desk where you can’t see me. That’d be a great for both of us.”

“Stay right there, I was joking!”

“Do you promise to be quiet and actually do your job if I stay?”

“With you disciplining and ordering me around like that, why not?” Mouth open for another heated retort, Satoru stopped you before you could say anything, his aura more serious this time. He was always like this; fooling around and maturing the next second, only for the cycle to repeat and test your patience. “I’m just teasing you, Y/N, I’ll shut up now. You’re free to end work as soon as you’re tired though; the driver is waiting in the parking lot whenever you want to go home.”

“I’ll go home with you.” Home. It felt weird to say that, but also…natural.

“You’ll stay with me at work today?” He sounded genuinely surprised, and you responded with a one-shoulder shrug. That seemed to be enough for him, however, and it wasn’t long before Satoru found the oh so rare and fleeting motivation to work hard.

Once he was settled, sleeves rolled up to expose his veiny forearms and brows furrowed as he centered all his attention on the pile of paperwork before him, there was no stopping him.

Roles reversed and positions switched, you were now the one unable to take your eyes off him.

In this light, in this moment, Gojo Satoru had never looked more beautiful. He was much the same as you in the manner you never really noticed each other this way before; not romantically, but even just person to person. In your eyes, he was nothing but your irritating boss whose boisterous self always crowded over your peace, and in his eyes, you were nothing but his secretary who he knew always silently hoped would leave you alone.

But things were different now. You were different now.

Boundaries there may be, you couldn’t help that fluttering forming in your stomach. Contentment, happiness, relief, nervousness – all of them jumbled into one big mess. Out of them all, however, there was most definitely adoration, either out of respect for his unexpected kindness, or simply because it felt nice to feel for once.

Turning away from him until your back was the only thing he could see, you hid your smile as you secretly held your belly.

You’d never been reckless before, but what was to be a good story when there wasn’t a mistake or two made?

[bbgem329]

Where’s My Love?—Prologue

Pairings—Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Summary

Two years ago, you and your husband built a life for your growing family at a safe camp during a world wide apocalypse. Everything is good until Bucky catches wind that a rival group is out to dominate the rest for their own gain.

What happens when, one day, the most capable men and your husband are out on a hunt when the camp is attacked? Will you be able to get your children and your heavily pregnant self to safety? Will Bucky find you before it’s too late?

Warnings

MINORS DNI!! 18++. Angst. Violence and gore. Zombies. Protective!Mama bear!reader. Mentions of pregnancy and labor.

Series Masterlist

—————

“It’s alright.” You cooed softly, praying to whatever God above that your babies didn’t notice the unmistakable tremble in your voice. The words felt heavy on your tongue as they fell quickly from your lips and left a bitter taste in your mouth. It wasn’t necessarily a lie but you couldn’t be sure it was the truth either. “Everything is going to be okay.”

The inhuman groans and grunts echoed throughout the darkened forest behind you, the heavy, shuffling steps pounding steadily after you, closing in with every brutal second that passed.

Your grip on your son’s hand tightened, pulling him gently but desperately along with you, your other hand cradling your crying daughter, where she lay strapped across your chest.

You couldn’t let go–you wouldn’t, afraid that if you did they’d disappear for good right before your very eyes.

You wouldn’t survive then. Not without them.

“I want daddy.” Jamie sobbed out, his little legs stumbling and wobbling with every step over the uneven, rough ground. “I'm scared, momma.”

“It’s okay, baby.” You croaked out, tears welling up in your eyes and your heart clenching painfully in your chest. “Daddy’s coming. He’s coming, okay? We just have to keep going and he will find us.”

How could you expect him to be brave when you weren’t feeling very brave yourself?

You’d never been so scared in your twenty seven years of life and you wanted nothing more than for the ground to open up and swallow you whole, at least then you wouldn’t have to watch your children be eaten alive.

You had no other choice but to push through, if not for yourself, then for the three other innocent lives depending solely on you.

You bit back a cry, teeth digging harshly into your bottom lip as a sharp pain tore through your swollen abdomen, core tightening and pulsing as your body prepared itself for labor. The ache was quickly followed by a familiar, unwelcomed gush of liquid between your thighs, soaking your overalls from the waist down.

This was not the time nor the place to bring a new, innocent life into the world.

You knew your due date was close but not this close.

You’d been through far too much in the past forty eight hours, you should’ve known the stress and toll would cause you to go into labor early.

It was just a matter of time.

If you wanted this baby to survive you would need to stop to push. You could already feel the need rising up from within, the contractions were now minutes apart and growing much longer and harsher.

“We’re almost there.” You mumbled, more so to yourself, your thighs beginning to shake with every step. The pressure rising and tightening rapidly within your naval and hips as the baby within your womb slipped further down—ready to come out and into this cruel world. “Daddy’s coming and we’re almost there.”

“South down eighth street,” He whispered, lips skimming gently up the slope of your neck, full beard rubbing deliciously against the sensitive skin there. “Once you reach the yellow fire hydrant about fifteen meters down, take a sharp left into the woods.” He tightened his grip on either side of your hips, dragging you back until your back was pressed to his broad chest, hands brushing tenderly over your growing bump. “From there it’s a straight shot. I set solar lights up to guide you to the fence, you can’t miss ‘em.”

Bucky’s voice rang persistently in your head, urging you on and forward.

You had to be close.

You’d followed his directions and found the path of lights. Any moment now the cottage he’d been building you would come into sight.

But perhaps not soon enough.

You didn’t want to imagine what he must be feeling, the desperation and guilt weighing down on him as he fought to find you.

Or worse, how he’d fall apart if he found your bodies in the aftermath—torn to shreds or turned.

Jamie let out a blood curdling scream as he was yanked back, the force of it dragging you along and sending you tumbling full force to the ground. You landed harshly on your back, gasping for air as the wind was knocked from your lungs.

“No.” You cried out, flipping up on your hands and knees to scramble after him. The desperation to save your baby boy overriding the pain tearing through your swollen belly and the dread clouding your mind. “Jamie.”

You would never forget the look of pure terror in his cerculean eyes or the sound of his screams as the diseased, bloody figure clawed at his little kicking legs.

Without a second thought, you snatched a nearby rock off the ground beside you, throwing it as hard as you could at its head. It was enough of a distraction and it released its hold on your son long enough for you to pull him back and behind you.

Jamie pressed himself into your back, burying his face in your shirt as he sobbed uncontrollably. The shakes and tremble of his little body mirroring your own.

The creature snarled before lunging at you, you only had a moment to brace yourself, hands scrambling for something, anything to defend yourselves with. Before you could blink, the thing was on you, pinning you to the ground.

You grasped the walker’s shoulders, holding it away, knees pressing into its abdomen to maintain a distance as Jamie cried out in pain beneath you and Becca screamed from where she rested on your chest.

“Help.” You cried out, though you knew it was pointless—reckless even. The excessive noise would only lure more within a three mile radius. “God, Help. Please.”

Your life flashed before your eyes and that of your childrens.

They didn’t deserve this. They had so much more life to live.

They didn’t deserve to die. Especially like this.

A heartbreaking sob tore through your chest, arms shaking with strain and the urge to push hitting your tenfold. You were losing your strength, you couldn’t hold it off for much longer.

This was it.

You were going to die.

Your son, your daughter, and unborn baby too.

“I love you.” You choked out, “Momma loves you and she’s so sorry.”

You turned your head to the side, eyes clenched shut as a copious amount of drool and blood slipped out of the creature's mouth and landed with a disgusting plop against your cheek. You could feel your arms beginning to buckle as its chomping nips neared closer.

But then your eyes opened to meet the soft, direct glow of the solar light. A quick glance between the creature above you and the tip of the light buried in the ground, and you only had a second to decide.

One hand slipped from its shoulder to grab at the stick as it barred down on you. You wiggled as best as you could away from its harsh bite, kicking at it with all your might.

Your heart nearly leaped out of your chest as your fingers wrapped around the stem of the light, yanking from the ground with a determined cry just as the creature moved to sink its teeth into your babygirl.

“I’ll find you.” Bucky vowed, voice confident and tone final as he buried his face in the crook of your neck, “If we ever get separated. I will find you. I promise.”

“You can’t promise that.” You whispered, eyes fluttering closed as you sank back into his warm, comforting embrace.

You didn’t even want to consider the possibility since he brought it up. It just wouldn’t happen. Period. You couldn’t survive without Bucky, so you wouldn’t be without him. Simple as that.

“I can promise it.” He growled out, arms tightening around your smaller frame, large hands caressing your swelling bump. “I will not let anything harm you. I will always come for you, my love.”

Bucky had promised you, but where was he now when you needed him the most? When your life and that of your babies were on the line?

Where’s my love?