#Leaky gut—does it exist

[nationalcandidacenter]

Leaky gut—does it exist? Fact or fiction

Numerous discussions about the so-called "leaky gut syndrome" are currently taking place in the medical world. Experts in alternative medicine contend that the illness is common and contributes to poor health

However, the majority of medical experts believe that there isn't enough evidence to demonstrate that it's a real problem. broad

Gastrointestinal permeability and absorption

Let's begin by defining the gut and its "normal" functioning. The term "gut" refers to the large intestine, although the small intestine is also considered here. Before being absorbed, everything we eat passes through a lengthy tube in our intestines. The phrase "intestinal permeability" refers to the restriction of material moving from the gastrointestinal system through the cells lining the gut wall into the rest of the body. The small gaps (tight junctions) in the intestinal wall regulate the absorption of compounds. Normal intestinal permeability permits nutrients to travel through the gut. It also acts as a protective barrier for toxic compounds to leave the intestine and spread to other parts of the body. 

The structure of the intestine can be weakened for a variety of reasons. If it doesn't function properly, toxic metabolites and microbes penetrate the blood system through these gaps. This causes havoc in the body, causing symptoms like bloating, gas, cramps, inflammatory bowel disease, fatigue, food sensitivities, joint pain, irritability, moodiness, insomnia, autism, and skin conditions. Leaky gut is not a recognized medical condition. In fact, several doctors challenge its very existence. Science does not support any of these statements, so this is all just an assumption. However, chronic diseases and inflammatory conditions may be caused by high intestinal permeability. There have been many comprehensive investigations done on the barrier role of the intestinal lining, yet a feasible approach to detecting leaky gut has not been established. Though much scientific research has been done, there is currently no reliable diagnostic test available.

Symptoms of Leaky Gut Syndrome

Leaky gut syndrome doesn't necessarily have any symptoms, but intestinal hyperpermeability still occurs as a result of damage to the intestinal lining. Inflammation is brought on by the molecules that escape from the gut into the bloodstream, which increases the chance of developing certain chronic illnesses. There can be inflammation and potential immune system problems.

Bloating, nausea, and cramping are common symptoms. Increased intestinal permeability can also lead Evento a variety of other symptoms, such as mental anxiety disorders, headaches, cognitive fog, allergies, exhaustion, and joint discomfort. 

Proposed treatments

Many of the treatments that practitioners of leaky gut syndrome advocate are based on diet plans. They claim that most individuals have major issues with eating habits. They advise patients to stay away from high-sugar foods (even fresh fruits), asserting that the extra sugar leads to an overgrowth of a particular strain of yeast in the GI tract, which causes harm to the intestinal wall. Additionally, they assert that sensitivity to lactose or gluten can also harm the bowel. So they advise people to stay away from all dairy products and gluten-containing products.

But the fact is that fruits will never make yeast attack the intestines. A small portion of people have symptoms from eating gluten and lactose, but the majority of people have no issues with these foods. Following these practitioners' advice will likely result in nutritional deficiencies rather than reducing symptoms.

Many practitioners also recommend essential supplements to treat leaky gut. They provide unproven treatments for a condition with no known medical cause. Furthermore, using these supplements can end up costing a lot of money. Because many of them have not been thoroughly researched, they can do little to alleviate symptoms and may even be harmful to our health.

Natural remedies for leaky gut

As with most digestive disorders, the most common treatment for leaky gut is diet modification and management. These changes are intended to prevent or reduce inflammation in the gut. A healthy diet in general can help control inflammation, and getting the right nutrients can help protect the intestinal barrier. Because Leaky Gut Syndrome has a variety of causes, it's critical to make all of these changes under the guidance of a certified physician, ensuring the right treatment.

There are some natural leaky gut treatments. In general, the best ways to protect your intestinal barrier are to support your digestive health and avoid inflammation. Because these are all healthy lifestyle changes, your overall health may benefit as well.  

Here are a few natural leaky gut remedies:

Drink 8–10 glasses of water to aid digestion.

Increase your intake of vitamin D to reduce intestinal permeability and leakage.

In order to protect your intestinal barrier and reduce inflammation, increase your zinc intake.

Consume probiotic foods to increase the number of bacteria in your gut.

Provide prebiotics for your healthy bacteria.

Maintain an anti-inflammatory diet. Even if this diet does not specifically treat leaky gut, it is still very nutritious and may benefit your overall health.

Eat baked or steamed fruits and vegetables instead of raw fruits and vegetables to avoid digestive issues.

If you have any further questions or concerns about 'leaky gut syndrome' or intestinal permeability, contact Natural cure for leaky gut in Sanford.

[robotlesbianjavert]

is shigaraki dead for real now

well bakugou could survive battlefield heart surgery and still involve himself in two more fights and uraraka managed how long with a leaky gut and best jeanist has been working with one lung and half a gut this entire time all might is somehow still kicking fucking gran torino is fine after having his abdomen gouged out. edgeshot is there. fucking PILOTS got an offscreen deus ex machina.

problem one is that this feels really final. super final. can he really get a save at this point. tis dust. but then problem two why put all this emphasis on shigaraki caring about the league (FRIENDS) especially in this chapter and then. just never see them again. never get a send off with them. it feels incomplete.

problem three. is kurogiri dead for real now. did bakugou gobble him out of existence. does heart surgery make people that hungry.

[justiceheartwatcher]

☕️ SINKING SHIPS ☙ Saturday, January 20, 2024 ☙ C&C NEWS 🦠

Jessica Funk

PLEASE BRING AWARENESS TO THIS MAJOR LAWSUIT! I am grateful for your diligent work to keep us informed on many topics. It is especially interesting to be kept up to date on the many lawsuits, in courts currently, that have a huge impact on our freedoms.

There is one major suit you are missing and likely because the media, the government and the American Dental Association have worked extremely hard to squash any discussion on the topic. At the end of this month, a court in San Francisco will be covering a 9 day trial on the harms of water fluoridation. This is a controversial topic that spans decades and much like the anti-vaxxers have been attacked as tin foil hat wearing individuals, people on the side of concern about fluoride consumption have been equally maligned and the research suppressed.

As a dentist, I have been indoctrinated to believe that fluoride is the 'savior' of our profession. Any thoughts to the contrary were considered conspiracy. When COVID awoke me to the lies of the medical establishment, I became concerned that parallel lies existed in my profession. Researching the history of water fluoridation is eerily similar to the efforts to promote vaccination. Fluoride is to dentistry what vaccines are to medicine.

One might think that all dentists should be opposed to fluoride...it would certainly generate more business for the industry. But, fluoride treatments and fluoride products are income generating elements of dental practices. Much like vaccines are to pediatric medical offices. And much like vaccines, there is benefit to reducing tooth decay from fluoride but the systemic impact of consumption over a lifetime has consequences for the bones, the kidneys, the thyroid and pineal gland, likely intestinal (leaky gut) and the most harmful, the neurotoxic effects to the brain.

Most of the world does not fluoridate and has seen reductions in tooth decay that parallel what's been seen in this country since the introduction of water fluoridation. The CDC quietly changed its position in the late 90s to admit that topical application of fluoride is the primary method of benefit. I would argue that the sublingual absorption of toothpaste fluoride but that's a topic for another day.

The neurotoxic effects are what is on trial. Unlike vaccines, most people are unable to avoid water fluoridation. Nearly 80% of Americans drink fluoridated water and very few understand that the chemical used to fluoridate our water is the toxic waste of the phosphorus rock and aluminum industries. One can get an exemption from vaccination but the cost to filter fluoride from our water makes this exposure a forced medical treatment.

Please, please...bring awareness to this topic. As I talk to people in my awake medical circles, VERY few are aware of this trial and the impact it can have on our health....and our freedom to choose.

[bibbykins]

Insufferable

A/N: The long-awaited flashback is here! It's short, but it is here! I hope this can really show the turning point in Jungkook's and MC's relationship and I would love to hear everyone's thoughts. As usual, tips are not required but greatly appreciate. Hope you all enjoy and have a wonderful day/night!

Note: This is a part (specifically a flashback) of The Household's Bunny series, so I recommend reading at least the Prologue before this one

Word count: 3.6k

Pairing: Soft Yandere! Jungkook x Chubby! Reader

Summary: Roommates are bound to have arguments, especially when one of them is as temperamental as Jungkook, but you didn't expect the first argument to get so unbelievably personal.

Warnings: abandonment issues, mommy issues, allusions to past abuse, family issues, crying, yelling, vomiting, panic attack, exhaustion, some soft yandere thoughts, some possessiveness, jungkook is mean and the MC gets a little mean too

There was something so constricting about memories of a shitty childhood. There were times when looking in the mirror felt like searching for the child in you so you could give her the hug she desperately needed. There were times when waking up felt like a check to make sure you were no longer in the home you had to grow up in far too quickly. However, the comfort of being in a different home only came so far when you didn't have anyone beside you or even emotionally available enough to talk to.

You stayed in bed for hours before it felt like a good idea to move, almost waiting for the mirage of change to fade before it brought you back to the gym with your mom or your uncle's apartment littered with whiskey bottles and leaky tear ducts.

Sometimes putting your best foot forward each day felt so hard with all-consuming loneliness clinging to your heels.

You had started your day going through your memory box. Hindsight said that was a poor idea. The box was a sure way to get you into a bad mood. You liked to think you breezed past all the stages of grief, but just because you accepted reality didn't make it hurt any less. The box was a strong reminder of that much as it sat with a melancholic aura. The creme color faded and the thorned vines connected to roses only added to the malicious undertones of its existence to your mental health. It was full of childhood photos, your birth certificate, school achievements, and the last known address your mom had.

Ah, your mom. What a way to bring clouds to your sunny day. You don’t know why you put yourself through the turmoil of the memory box. Maybe you were hoping it would be easier by now. You were always wrong. Looking through childhood photos and finding no love in the eyes of your mother when she looked at you and watching the love in your uncle’s eyes fade with your mother’s presence. You got to the fated birthday card, thumb rubbing over the defunct address longingly. You held the envelope in your hand, inspecting the birthday card she sent you. Three words in the repetitive note written on the inside caught your eye, and not the ones you so desperately wanted from her.

Feeling a familiar pressure behind your eyes, you tossed the card aside and stood. It was time to eat, go on a walk, do anything other than this. You found your way to the kitchen and came across a silent and solemn Jungkook. His jaw was clenched, but it felt like it always was around you.

Your relationship with Jungkook so far was not very complicated, in the way it was nonexistent. He either didn’t care about talking to you or he actively didn’t want to, you really couldn’t tell. This didn’t stop you from trying, though. Like an idiot.

“I’m making food, did you want any?” You asked from your place seated on the couch, and the silence that was his response for deafening, “Okaaaay.” You sang awkwardly, “I just know that you usually don’t eat throughout the day and-”

“And what do you know?!” He snapped, blinded by his pure and unbridled, but most important unprovoked, rage of you. Your eyes widened and your body jumped. Holy shit, you had never heard him yell like this, “You don’t know anything about me, or in general, so just stop trying so fucking hard!” He was harsh in his tone and it lit your whole nervous system on fire. What the hell did you do to him?

You shook your head, not sure why he was yelling about, but it made your throat feel like it was going to close, “Look, I was just trying to be polite, but you don’t need to talk about me like you understand-”

“Understand?! What’s there to understand?” He challenged, eyes wide like he was expecting you to say something but he continued, “You’re some spoiled girl living here rent-free because your precious dad doesn’t want to take care of you.”

Your heart caught in your throat as it shattered. He was right, your dad didn't want to take care of you, but not in the way he thought. Why was he doing this? Has he genuinely felt this way all along? Was he just holding in his anger until you poked the bear a little too hard? “You don’t need to yell at me.” You stated firmly and it seemed to only make things worse.

“And you don’t need to fucking be here in the first place!” He spoke, temper long lost and you could hear his voice mix in with Jungyoon’s, all he needed was a bottle of whisky and a set of calloused hands, “You didn’t need to fucking live here-”

“You don’t know anything about me.” You spat out. Now, you were losing your temper. You could take a beating, but for only so long, especially as an adult, "And it's not like you're paying rent either, so what do you know about me or my living arrangements?" You hissed and you watched his eyes flare, making you nearly regret your provocation.

“No, but I know how you look naked-”

“Fuck you.” You spit the word out at him, something you haven’t done to another person for a while “Don’t weaponize my work or play a game that you absolutely will lose.” You warned, “I know all about you, and I can use that, because you’ve been a star since you were 15, and that sucks, that makes you mad, doesn’t it?” Your temper effectively lost as you ripped into the rage-filled man before you, “Yet you don’t know anything about me, and that must piss you the fuck off, huh?” You stood from the couch, tears building in your eyes before you could stop it.

“I know enough, spoiled rich girl.” He seethed and you laughed humorlessly at this worldwide pop star calling you spoiled and rich.

“Not only are you wrong, but you’re also a poor listener.” You shot back, “I’ve told you all before Jungyoon isn’t my fucking dad, he’s my uncle.” His mouth opened but you cut him off before he could start, “He can’t stand the sight of me so he travels for work.” Your tears are undoubtedly falling, but you can’t stop, “And you’re talking to me like this because what? You had a scandal or something?” You gave him his chance to talk and boy, he took it.

“Mona told me you know your mom.” His voice was like venom, “So, why the fuck are you here? You have your blood relatives.” He exaggerated the word like it meant anything to you, “Why are you here, disrupting our lives, acting like an innocent orphan girl around actual fucking orphans-”

“I never said I was or acted like an orphan!” You exclaimed incredulously before scoffing, “That’s why you’re mad? Because you never knew your mom and I did? Because I know who my blood family is?” You could laugh at how ridiculous that was, “I know them, so what? Where does that get me?” You looked at him expectantly but he didn’t talk, “I knew my mom, and guess what? She just didn’t fucking want me.” He was silent, but you still couldn’t stop, “I’m sure if your mom could’ve got to know you, she would’ve kept you, because you’re not insufferable to be around, you’re just a fucking asshole.” You wiped at your cheeks furiously, “But me? I had 15 years to prove myself and it still wasn’t enough. I still wasn’t enough. Jungyoon never wanted me either, he got stuck with me and had to cope.” Your voice began to break and you had to take a breath, “I was the insufferable one, so-” You stopped, finally as you regained your sense of reality and watched Jungkook who had an unreadable expression and the realization of the word vomit you spilled out to him hit you like a train as you exhaled quickly, rage in your voice quickly replaced with soft melancholy “I am the insufferable one here, so there.” You shrugged, face a wet mess, “Hope that brings you peace.” Your stomach was churning as you turned on your heel, unable to hold in your sobs. You couldn’t bear the awkwardness of waiting for the elevator so you opted to take the stairs.

You sobbed louder as the door slammed shut behind you, but you didn’t want to linger so you bolted down the stairs, the bile in your stomach signaling that you needed to find the nearest trashcan and quickly. You made it to the ground floor and spilled your guts into the small trashcan. Yelling always made you unbelievably ill, whether it was getting yelled at or yelling, the sickness it made you feel overflowed. The yelling only reminded you of-

You vomited again at the mere thought. You cried harder when you finally finished, breathing becoming staggered as you began to panic.

Fuck, they’re gonna kick you out, and then you’ll be alone again. You lost your temper, people don’t like other people who lose their temper. Why couldn’t you just mind your own fucking business and leave him be? You’re stupid. Why do you think you’ve been alone all your life? It’s because people don’t want to be near you. You’re-

“Insufferable.” You mumbled, numb, even if for only a moment.

Sure, Jungkook provoked you, but you knew better. You didn't go to therapist after therapist throughout your adolescence for nothing. You felt as if you set yourself back eons after that outburst. He didn't need to know all that about you, ever. He probably didn't even care to know, and you said it anyway, like you were gunning for gold in the trauma Olympics. You didn't want to minimize his struggles, you just wanted him to shut up and stop yelling at you. You let your eyes flutter closed as you cried. How can you complain about being alone when you're like this?

You don’t know how long you stayed there, sitting next to a trash can full of your vomit as you wallowed in your self-hatred. The all-consuming loneliness the boisterous house subdued returning with full force. Jungkook was right. You didn’t need to be here. You were only disrupting their routine.

You blew out a sigh as you staggered to the elevator, fully set on going up to your room and crying yourself to sleep after you clean up. You brought the trashcan with you, not having the heart to just leave your puke down there. You thanked your lucky stars when Jungkook was no longer on the second floor as you went to the kitchen and rinsed your mouth before going to take out the trash and take out your burnt oven pizza. Finally, you were headed back up to your floor. You watched the numbers tick by with tired eyes. You glared at the empty trashcan, electing to take it with you instead of making the trip back down to put it back. Surely, they wouldn’t need it for a few hours.

The elevator dinged as you grabbed the black plastic bin and then you were met with Jungkook. Relief flashed across his face before irritation settled on it, “Where the fuck were you?!” He asked hurriedly as you trudged past him, too exhausted to fight. You were running on autopilot the whole way up here, and you couldn’t bear another spat.

“I was on the first floor.” Your voice was low, trying to communicate you were done arguing as you lifted the bin as proof. You then set it down and went to your bathroom and began brushing your teeth.

He scoffed, “You were on the first floor for 30 minutes?” He asked as if he caught you in a lie but you nodded as you rinsed your mouth.

You were down there for thirty minutes? No wonder you felt so tired.

“Yep.” You popped the last letter before correcting yourself, “Well, I spent like 10 minutes cleaning up that bin, so not exactly.”

“Why?” He asked as if you were being ridiculous, as if he wasn’t the one on your floor demanding answers.

“I vomited.” You spoke simply and before he could ask, “Yelling makes me puke.” You were so blase about it he sighed in frustration.

You walked to your room and froze when you saw your memory box strewn about, and it was like a dam broke all over again. You looked at the photos, at the eager little girl looking for love in places she would never find it.

Old habits die hard.

Before you could even stop yourself, you sunk to your knees in garbled sobs and broken cries, “Hey, hey, wait.” Jungkook’s shaky voice did nothing to bring you back to reality as you cried. His hands placed themselves on your shoulder, making you flinch violently, much to his horror.

Fuck, he didn’t know how to do this. He didn’t know why you were crying, but he knew it was his fault, at least in part. Even if at this moment it wasn’t, his outburst surely didn’t help. Fuck, he’s so dumb. Fuck, he shouldn’t have talked to Mona just moments before seeing you.

The envy of even seeing your own mother’s face ate up at him and he took it out on you. Not to mention that he made you vomit from the yelling. He suddenly felt more like an arrogant asshole than he did before as his hands now hovered over your form and he took a moment to look at your room.

Scattered on the floor were childhood photos and ribbons from competitions. Things Mona kept in her own house, having a whole wall filled with every one of their achievements. Even Jin had a photo album of their things. And you, you kept all these for yourself. You were the only one who cared enough to save these things and he wondered how much you threw away to maintain space in the small empty box. Fuck, he didn’t know how to do this.

You sighed shakily, “You can just go.” You cried, “You don’t have to be here.” You don’t know what he could possibly gain from watching you cry.

“I know.” His voice was calm, even, “Can I help you up?” He asked and you wanted to look up at him in confusion but you didn't want him to see your tears.

You both had just ripped into each other, and here he was, wanting to help you. Why would he do that? Why would he stay when he doesn't have to? Why would he want to help you up after a fight?

Too tired to even think about questioning him and no longer angry at him, you simply scoffed, “Can you?” You sighed, not having the energy to stroke his ego and stand up without his help.

You never let people bear your dead weight, not wanting the awkwardness if they couldn’t carry you, but right now, you just wanted to lay down.

He snorted lightly, happy to hear anything other than a sob for you, “Don’t worry about me, you just cry and mind your business.” He spoke lightly, and the comment made you fight a smile. Then, he lifted you with so much ease, you figured he was trying to show off as he placed you on the bed. He looked at you after he sat on the floor before his eyes caught onto the gold foil of a 16th birthday card. You were wiping at your face as he read the card against his better judgment.

I know you must be confused, and I can’t help that. I wish I could pretend to be a mom, but I can’t. I can’t be your mom, and I never should have tried. It would be best if we forgot each other. I just can’t keep pretending, and I know you can see it, even if you don’t want to.

I’m so tired.

-Mom

Now, he felt even more like an asshole. He also felt a little bit angry that your mother could just leave you behind without so much as saying sorry. She wrote like she was a teenager and you were her mother. She obviously didn't put much thought into the seemingly last message to her daughter and it made his heartbreak for you, “That was the last I heard of her.” You snapped him from his thoughts and he looked at your puffy face, “She had left months earlier, and then I got that, but she moved before I could try to see her one more time.” There was a distant ache in your words as you looked at Jungkook sitting amongst your memories.

“Is she… still alive?” He asked, not sure why he felt the need to know.

“Not sure, but it doesn’t make much of a difference, I guess.” You blew out a sigh, before looking at your papers and folded posterboards, “I was cleaning out my memory box, and I’m not sure why I do it when I know it just upsets me.” You could still feel tears leaking from your eyes as Jungkook picked up a photo of you on your 14th birthday, posed between Jungyoon and your mom. You had a bright smile on your face and they looked at the camera with a tight expression, “You can really see how much they didn’t want to be there, but that's the happiest they look in all of the photos.”

He wanted to say you were wrong, but he could see it. He could see the happy little girl trying to make up for the unhappy adults around her. He knew he should’ve asked Mona why Jungyoon didn’t try to call or visit or why she was so eager to take you in if you knew your family. He should’ve just known better. Yeah, he understood how it felt to be alone growing up, they all did, but by the time they were all 17 they had a home that wanted them. You were going to graduate from college soon and you still felt unwanted.

No thanks to him.

“I’m sorry.” He blurted and you looked at him with wide eyes, “For being an asshole, I’m sorry- and for making you cry. I just…” He shrugged, “You’re right. I was jealous you knew your mom and I already was suspicious of you and I- I’m dumb, and I’m sorry.” He looked at you, eyes a bit glossy and you wondered when was the last time someone apologized for making you cry.

“It’s okay.” You smiled weakly, “You are dumb, but that’s okay.” You chuckled when he frowned, but eventually, he also broke into a short laugh, “I think… we’ve felt a lot of the same things in different ways, so I can’t blame you.” He wondered how you could be so forgiving, and he was scared of how many times that has gotten you hurt, “I like living here and I like all of you, so I hope I can get you all to like me too, even if just a little.”

“Don’t accept less than you deserve.” He spoke firmly before he started picking up your memory box, putting things neatly back in.

“Wh-”

He waved his hands nonchalantly, “You, sleep, I’ll clean this up and order some food.” He didn’t look at you as he said this, mostly to hide his blush, "If...If you want, I can give this to Jin. He has a whole place he keeps our stuff like this… he's really sentimental." He stumbled, still refusing to look at you.

However, he jumped when he heard you hiccup a cry. Ready to apologize, Jungkook was just about to turn to look at you until he heard you speak, "That… That sounds very sweet of you to do." You wiped a sentimental tear away as the blushing boy remained frozen.

"It's Jin's hobby, not mine." He deflected before waving his hand at you, "Sleep, I said." He frantically demanded.

You could see his ears getting red and you smiled, “Yes, sir.” You mocked in your work voice and made him freeze for a moment as you erupted into giggles while he whined, “Okay, okay, I’ll sleep.”

Eventually, you surrendered to your exhaustion as he delicately put away your papers and photos. He hummed lightly, smiling as he came across your debate team awards. No wonder he lost the fight before it even started. He turned around after lifting the box and sighed almost dreamily as he watched your sleeping face. You were beautiful, delicate, and puffy from the tears. He had the urge to keep apologizing for being such an asshole, but after looking through your achievements and your photos, he resolved to just keep proving it.

He wouldn’t let you get hurt again. Not by him or anyone, especially your mother, even Jungyoon was on thin ice.

His blood boiled at the thought of your mother for a reason he couldn’t understand. His hand extended shakily as he pulled the covers up to your shoulder and you hummed contently, making his heart melt a bit at the little smile you had. He wouldn’t fuck up with you again, not like this. He would be nice, at least a little, and first and foremost, he would order food you liked.

He froze.

Fuck, what food do you like?

He relaxed. Well, he could just ask the guys.

Fuck, they’re gonna ask questions.

Fuck, they’re gonna kill him when they found out he made you cry.

He looked back at your sleeping form, not having the heart to wake you up. He sighed, looks like he’ll just have to bite the bullet. He dreaded each moment as he quickly made an untitled group chat with the guys since you were added to their original one. He could only hope Taehyung wouldn’t change the group chat name to something stupid.

Tip Jar

[ssplague]

Chapter Two

A rough start we get off too

Series Masterlist

Katsuki B. X Reader

Rated M

⚠️Warnings: SMUT, improper use/depiction of certain kinks, abusive, manipulative, toxic behavior, unreal ideals of sex, use of daddy, ddlg themes, hard Dom, etc.

Let the SMUT commence

The way each pair of lips fit so perfectly together was absolutely enthralling: Passion was raw, ferocity was made so obviously evident from the growl he emitted at each attempt you made at sucking his tounge into your mouth. Only separating to take in a few large gulps of much needed oxygen, before diving back in to repeat the process over again.

“Please….P-Pleaseee…Kat..Suki…I-“ he presses a finger to your lips. That brief period of oxygen deprivation seemed to of induced a delirium of sorts. Assessing your thoughts has become similar to sifting through wet sand; Try as you might, you just can’t seem to comprehend what exactly you’d been attempting to beg him for in the first place. This look of empty headed confusion is also something Bakugou commits to memory, a first glimpse of his dumb little girl. He surveys you with bemused interest, looking as composed as ever.

“Down that bad for me hah? All I did was kiss ya a little and you’re already falling to pieces on me” the finger on your lips slides down to tilt your chin up, while he dips his head down to whisper in your ear. “Cant even imagine what kinda mess you’ll become once I finally split cha open with this big cock, such a stupid little girl”.

You suck in a deep shuddering breath as your legs suddenly give out beneath you, leaving you helplessly sliding down the wall. Bakugou laughs in such a condescending baritone as he effortlessly picks you up and deposits you on his bed. Picking his chair back up, he moves it beside the bed to take a seat in front of you.

“Listen real close to what I’m about to tell ya cause its important, open those fuckin’ ears princess cause if I end up havin’ to constantly keep repeatin’ myself…” he leaves the implicated threat hanging in the air between you two. Swallowing what remains of your now virtually non existent pride: You sit up straight and lean forward slightly, making sure to hold eye contact while he spoke. As the one sided conversation progresses and you inevitably begin to feel the need to either scoff or mouth off, you lightly bite your tounge. When the need to roll your eyes seems irresistible you make sure to blink a few times.

Bakugou and his ego always seem to have a way of destroying any sort of illusion that he is anything other than a self-righteous narcissist. Well, now he’s YOUR self-righteous narcissist…CORRECTION; You cant think like that anymore….from now on he’s….daddy.

The thought accompanies a brief pang in your metaphorical gut, is it regret? Maybe guilt? You aren’t sure.

“-Last ones, your still paying attention right princess?”.

Hearing his question has your eyes immediately snapping back into focus. You take in the handsome (but grumpy) face in front of you, nervously wondering when exactly he’d invaded your personal space.

“Y-Yes daddy, I’m listening to you” you stutter slightly, now noticing he’s actually kneeling on the mattress with you.

“So every day I expect you to do your absolute best” now with each statement he leans further into you, “You’re always going to remember how much daddy cares about you”. He presses a large hand against your chest, forcing your back down against the pillows behind you. “Realize that daddy always knows what’s best for you” both hands now rest on either side of you, effectively caging you in.

“You’ll always know that you can rely on daddy, and will trust him one hundred percent of the time”.

The intensity of his crimson stare has your face burning up, and heart rapidly pounding in your chest. It’s now taking a serious amount of conscious effort to keep your eyes locked with his. “Any questions? Comments?…..concerns?” he puts an emphasis on that last word, wolffish grin firmly in place.

Shaking your head apparently wasn’t a good enough answer because its followed with a stern; “Use your words princess, you either say: Yes daddy or No daddy….understood?”.

“I understand daddy….I’ll follow your rules daddy” you reply, embarrassment evident at having to repeat the unfamiliar word.

“You sure? It’s not like you to have absolutely nothing to say” he’s testing you, you’ll play into it this time.

“Well if you insist…..I do have a question, just one” at this his eyes instantly narrow and you could have sworn you’d seen a few stray sparks emit from his palms.

“Would it be too much to ask daddy if he wouldn’t mind kissing me again?”

🌆

Euphie checks her phone for the eigth time since she’d last texted you over forty-five minutes ago. Why weren’t you responding? Maybe she really had pushed you too far this time….A large hand comes to rest over her much smaller one, at this she finally sets her phone facedown on the table with a sigh.

“She wont stay angry with you forever, her and Bakubro might be having such a good time together that she’s forgotten all about her phone” Kirishima tries his best to reassure with his usual smile. The sudden wide eyed, dead pan stare he gets in return whipes that smile from his now reddening face. He’s realized far too late at what his words seem to of implied.

“I didn’t mean it like that! Really! I promise I didn’t! M’sorry”. Seeing the red head this flustered is so adorable, his companion cant help but giggle.

“I know Eji, dont worry about it”.

Entrusting your care to Bakugou was fine: He cares about you almost as much as she herself does. If she wasn’t certain how genuine the boy’s feelings toward you were, none of this would ever have happened.

Yeah, everything is going to be just fine….You’ll thank her one day.

💥

Bakugou’s crimson gaze is way too intense while roaming over the female laying down on his bed. Having her completely bare, and spread out before him is an accomplishment he shamelessly contragulates himself for. She’s getting self conscious now: Delicate hands come up to cover her chest, and plush thighs press together in an attempt to hide the drooling mess kept between them. It’s all or naught though as her legs are suddenly wrenched apart, and each wrist is now pinned above her head, held in just a single one of his hands.

“Nu-uh princess, no hiding….keep those legs open…wanna see all of you” condescending words only seem to widen his feral grin.

Seeing his cock now freed from its previously strained confinements as its looms above you, standing tall, has your leaky little hole twitching. The smooth inner walls inside repeatedly clenching in anticipation. Bakugou trails a finger from clit to slit as he hums in approval.

“What’s this hah? Such a fuckin’ mess your makin’ down here”

“S-Sorry daddy…I cant help it…Just want you so bad…dont wanna wait any longer…Please dont make me wait more” a soft roll of your hips accompanies your pleading whines. Your continuous begging for his cock has that monster stirring in him again, he has to forcibly push the dark thoughts away before addressing you again.

“If I dont prep you then-“ you interrupt him.

“It’s fine! I can take it, please just take me…” he notices your moment of hesitation before you lock eyes with him while adding “make it hurt”.

You’re just so fucking bold!

Trying to make demands, disguised as requests! Its so cute he cant help but caress your cheek before bestowing upon you the last gentle kiss you’ll get until he’s throughly DESTROYED you for anyone else.

“Dont ever fucking tell me what to do again” he growls before slamming his hips forward.

He’s buried balls deep inside you: Your initial gasp at the sudden intrusion, now morphs into a silent scream that has a you arching up off the mattress.

“Got that you greedy little slut? See what happens?” He taunts through gritted teeth.

Your cunt squeezing and spasming around his cock feels incredible, to the point he has to busy himself with sucking harshly on your neck to keep from releasing desperate whimpers of his own.

“I can take it…please move….m’sorry daddy…please don’ be mad a’me….”

“M’not mad at you baby….s’okay” He manages to reassure you through his clenched jaw. He finally starts to move inside of you, desperately trying so hard to take it easy on you. All precedent falls apart when your legs wrap around his waist, now he’s digging you out.

“Y’okay?” He rasps while continuously ravaging your tight cunt.

“M-mm-more than okay” you stutter.

“Taking my cock so well baby girl….Fucking hell!” His lewd compliment causing your insides to involuntarily clench.

“Deeper! Deeper!” You plead.

Katsuki thought you’d preferred his shallow thrusts, but if you really wanted your guts rearranged he’d be pleased to make it happen. He grabs one of your legs, placing it up on his broad shoulder, while the other remains curled around his hip. Straightening up he smirks down at you, before delivering a harsh slap to your clit. Now beginning to rapidly piston his hips while taunting you: “What did I tell you earlier hah? Answer me dammit!”.

His hot hand comes down on your inner thigh and you cry out: “N-Not supposed t-to tell y-you what to d-do!”. It shouldn’t be possible for you to be squeezing him even tighter, but somehow you do. That can mean only one thing… “Gonna cum aren’t you princess? I can feel ya choking the life outta my cock”.

A pathetic whine accompanies your vigorous head nods and he growls in response: “You.better.fucking.not” a thrust accompanying each word, “Y’dont fuckin’ listen, shouldn’t let ya cum at all with how you keep misbehavin’, better start fuckin’ beggin”.

Horrified at the thought, you fight through the fog permeating your brain and force movement out of your lolling tounge.

“P-please daddy, I’ll b-be good from now on if y-you’ll just let me c-cum! Y-you’re just making me feel so good daddy, no one’s ever made me feel this i-incredible before” your panting breaths making it too difficult to continue speaking. Even if he doesn’t believe it, your words are entirely true, this is the first time you can ever recall feeling like this during sex. A foreign sensation is making its way into your gut, your limbs are moving of their own accord, you cant think straight when you manage to speak next: “Its too much! Too big, Too deep, Too intense! I c-cant take anymore please make it stop!”.

“Stop? Oh fuck no princess, after all this lip you’ve been giving me, you think I’m gonna let you tap out like a little bitch? Think again” his thumb begins to rub harsh circles against your clit. “We’re not stopping until you cream all over my cock like a nasty girl like you is supposed to, then you’re gonna do it again when I blow my load inside this tight fucking cunt and you’ll scream my name while I fucking do it because this pussy is all mine! Got all that you fucking whore?”.

“Yes daddy” you whimper, face screwed up in tight concentration as he finally pushes you over the edge. Your eyes fly open as you blindly search for his hand, gripping it tightly in attempts to anchor yourself in reality as a sudden rush of dopamine floods your brain. White hot pleasure seemingly overwhelming every single nerve in your body, making your legs shiver as you faintly hear yourself calling out his name repeatedly. Katsuki is the only thing you know in this strange foreign place: This comforting warmth suddenly invades your tummy, continuously being pumped inside you while you moan at the newfound sensation.

A pair of strong arms wind themselves around you, pulling you closer, making you feel safe, at ease, loved?

“Come…back…..come back to me” he’s calling for you. Your soul had to of vacated your body; You feel Weightless, you’re floating, “Daddy?”. Suddenly you start sinking, and without warning your body jolts, “Katsuki?!”.

“M’right here princess, daddy’s got you….Disappeared on me for a lil while” his familiar voice is grounding. His fingers card gently through your hair, and for the very first time you’re seeing a “Soft” side to this so easily angered man. Sighing contentedly you snuggle into his chest, letting his caramel scented sweat overwhelm your senses.

“I really like this”

“Hah?! That’s all you have to say?!”

Ah there he goes, moment ruined, illusion shattered.

“I’m sorry. But I’m not entirely coherent just yet…you uh…you kinda did a number on me there” you mutter sheepishly, making an attempt to escape his embrace. Its immediately thwarted, and your pulled right back against his chest. “Ah fuck…knew I shoulda just made you wait and prepped you properly….Sorry about that, guess I just got caught up in everything”. Surely hell has frozen over: Katsuki Bakugou just not only admitted a possible wrong doing, but APOLGIZED for it as well!

“Ive wanted to do this with you for so long: Fuck you, hold you, be with you, and I fucked it up! Just like I always seem to fucking do, I-“

“Daddy” your voice effectively silences his self-depreciating rant. His hand begins to gently run up and down your back as he mumbles a “Yes princess?”.

You lean back slightly, tilting your head up so those cute doe eyes can stare up into his, the smile your wearing makes his chest tighten.

“M’not hurt, sore but not damaged….I wasn’t referring to my body, I meant you did a number on my mind…Besides I asked for it remember? I’ve wanted this for a long time too, so I got impatient…Please dont berate yourself, lets just enjoy this moment as the first of many now…Kay?”.

That’s right, you’re his now; Along with the opportunity to care for and make sure to correct you…he’ll be able to do this with you again. You had given yourself to him after all, so he can have you as many times as he wants, whenever he wants! He’s far too occupied with his lewd thoughts to care about the foreboding darkness thats begun to emerge from its confines within his skull.

You don’t remember falling asleep but Katsuki gently prods you awake: “Baby…wake up, Its dinner time…I made food for us…c’mon princess you need to eat”.

You whine, attempting to burrow further beneath the blankets, “Not hungryyyy...wanna sleep more!”.

“Dont make daddy ask you again, you wont like what happens”.

Not interested in ruining such a wonderful night, you begrudgingly sit up. Noticing he’s seated at his desk, with a large steaming bowl set infront of him. You slide out of bed, standing up and realizing you’re naked, but strangely not embarrassed by it.

“Here” he tosses you a shirt, “Now c’mere, hurry up before it gets cold!”. Pulling his shirt over your head as you pad over to him and take a seat on his lap. Noticing the single spoon and bowl has you looking at him with genuine curiosity. “Since you like actin like a damn baby so much, figured I’d continue treatin’ you like one” his words make you grin sheepishly again, and you hold out your hand expectantly waiting for him to hand you the spoon….he doesn’t.

Taking an impressive spoonful of the steaming food he then proceeds to blow on it before bringing it up to your lips.

“Say ahh, brat”.

“Wha-?”

Taking advantage of the opportunity, he shoves the spoon into your open mouth. Of course it tastes amazing, but he doesn’t plan on keeping this up right? WRONG!

Repeating the pattern of giving you a bite and then taking one himself.

“I can feed myself y’know…” you mutter growing increasingly flustered at the insulting action but more so the fact that its making you feel….excited?

“I dont think you can princess….I always hear Euphie bitchin at ya for skipping breakfast or to hurry up and come eat dinner” pausing to feed himself, then repositioning the now loaded spoon back infront of you before continuing.

“That shit ends today, gonna teach ya how important it is to take care of yourself, and if you wont? Then I guess daddy will have to do it for ya”.

You’re squirming in his lap by the time you accept the last bite,swallowing thickly before making an attempt at vaulting off his lap. Large hands immediately snag you around the middle before your feet even touch the ground.

“No, No, thats not how we do things around here, where the fuck are your manners?” he slips a hand between your clenched thighs to move them apart, and then brings a slap down to the inside of each. You dont even know why he’d done that and the shock is evident on your face. “You like when I baby ya, dont lie to me LITTLE girl”.

“No I-“

“What’s this then?” he quickly interupts while holding up the palm he’d previously slapped you with. Glimmering in the low light is your sticky arousal coating his palm.

“Sorry” your voice is barely audible as you hang your head in shame.

“Mhm sure you are…Here I am being a good care taker to you and what did you do? Sat there thinking all kinds of nasty things while I spoon feed you, you really are a fuckin depraved slut aren’t you princess?”

You bite your lip as your eyes start to water,still refusing to look up and far too embarrassed to respond. A finger beneath your chin forces your head up and his breath hitches when he notices tears getting ready to fall. A malicious smile now turns his lips upward as he cups your cheek, “Look at that…shes about to start crying and all because of what? Cuz you just exposed yourself for being the depraved little slut you are?”.

“NO! No im not I-“.

“You are” his grip tightens painfully on your jaw, pulling your face forward so its now just an inch away from his own, “And I fuckin’ love it”. Then he’s surging forward pressing his lips against yours; Forcing his tongue into your mouth, hand coming around to grip the back of your head. Your lungs are on fire while his hand slips under your shirt to harshly grope at your chest. Clawing his forearms is finally enough to get his attention and he reluctantly pulls away. You’ve just barely began catching your breath when he suddenly stands up, keeping a firm grip on your ass to carry you, before dropping you onto the bed.

“Take that off and-“

*knock knock knock*

The sudden knocking followed abruptly by Kirishima’s muffled shouting, startles both you and Katsuki, and the rattling door knob has you immediately springing into action.

“Hey we brought back desert to share with you guys! So just meet us at my room whenever you feel like it, Euphie’s changing her clothes and then she’ll be there too, we’re gonna watch a movie if you two wanna join us!”.

He must have heard Bakugou’s standard non-committal grunt in response, because you hear his retreating footsteps trail off down the hall.

Grabbing your skirt out from underneath the bed, you stand back up.

Just as you’d gotten to your feet your immediately pushed face first onto the mattress. A sweaty hand takes hold of your hip in a bruising grip, while the other delivers a sharp pinch to your ass cheek. Yelping in response to the sudden harsh yank of your hair that proceeds a whisper of:

“You didn’t really think I would let you off that easy did you? Your fuckin’ cake can wait brat, we’re done when I fuckin say we are, got it?”.

✨

A/N: I hope this chapter was to everyone’s liking, I’m actually kind of nervous to post it but 🤷🏼‍♀️ Chapter 3 has a fair amount of smut in it as well so look forward to that. I’m hoping to get another one shot up for “A man of his word” this week, if you like extreme Yandere Bakugou check that out. I have one penned but it needs to be typed up.

[abbynx]

Juliet and Ophelia (Trish Una X Reader)

Like I said I can't pass up an opportunity to simp for this girl.

So this is a continuation of 'How would the La Squadra family react to you having a crush on the former boss' daughter, Trish Una?'

So yes, this series will be called, "Juliet and Ophelia" A Trish Una X Reader with a dash of found family with La Squadra and the Bucci gang so stay tuned!

Genre: Romance, fluff, wholesome

School. Nothing else to say, the certain word can emit a certain reaction from every individual. Some recoil and wince from the sudden flashbacks rushing into them, embarrassment and shame from all of the stunts they pulled. Some react with a certain fondness within them, lips slightly tugged to the side as the sudden nostalgia just soaks them up. Some, indifference. It's just an establishment wherein an individual attended for a quarter of their life and held nothing against it. To you, it didn't really emit anything from you. As a person who has never attended school, you looked at in an indifferent manner. You've been homeschooled all your life, relying on the knowledge your tutor Melone or sometimes Ghiaccio teaching you. They're good mentors, always took the time to make you feel like they aren't dumping overwhelming amounts of data on you. Additionally, they were extremely mindful of your well-being and made sure to not over-work La Squadra's adopted child. You thought of school as something as that, a school. You have nothing against it at all, nor you feel any sorts of things to it but you can certainly empathize those young people who struggle against it, tiring themselves to no end and are unsatisfied until their unmeetable standards are met. So that's what sums it, you were indifferent towards it... Until you yourself have began to attend it and all you can associate it with would be utmost regret. You didn't know what came up to you when Risotto asked of you if you wanted to live normally, he clarified that again; would you like to start attending school, like any other normal teens your age? Admittedly, home schooling is the norm too, but do you really want assassins educating you all your life instead of spending times with people your age, just enjoying the wonders of life? Ohhh, the entirety of La Squadra does not want you to emulate the same misery they've live to get to this, dear no. Risotto was kind enough to give you time to think about it, his right hand man Prosciutto taking the time to also explain its benefits and negatives. They offered to enroll you to a boarding school, attain a certain normalcy in your life for once. Although it was a boarding school, you can always go home every weekend to see them again. They can try to play it smooth and casual, but you know that they'd be too clingy to let you go. And by that, you accepted for some reason and now you've come to regret it, and can never take it back. You remain unmoving from your desk for the remainder of lunch break, head tilted down and interacted at the most interesting specimen to you, that were the pair of polished black shoes Prosciutto bought you. They were ridiculously expensive for a pair of shoes, but they are durable and pretty to look at, I guess. Just the perks of having a fashionable guy around. It was a dumb sight in hindsight and in an outsider's point of view, but you liked the way it gave out a glimmer when directed in light. Not only that, it's not like you can do anything about your crippling isolation in school. Everyone seems to despise your guts in this damned institution for some reason. You really don't know what they problems were, nor were they willing to confront you about it and instead opted to whisper and laugh at you from behind as you tread pass them. It was so damn unfair that you were one of the most fierce assassins La Squadra Esecuzione has to offer and yet you were easily taken down by a bunch of high schoolers who talked behind your back. You loathed this place. You regretted accepting the offer to study in this god forsaken hell and just wanted to go home. Melone's home education was more than enough, heck his teachings were more advance than the school curriculum has to offer and yet Risotto has insisted for you to experience this period of life for some reason. You've grown up from them, raised by assassins and have experienced the weirdest shit as a Stand User and they still think you need to have a normal high school life? And for what? It's not like there's an underground

organisation ran by students at school where you were needed to play double agent but no-- they insisted you to study things you already knew and compete among students apparently. The lunch packed with food remained untouched in your bag, wherein you planned to just give it to the stray cats and dogs just as you wait for one of La Squadra to pick you up from this damned institution. It's not like you were starving yourself, you were just uninterested to eat at the moment and you really didn't want it to go to waste so why not give it to those who are more in need? You weren't really accustomed to eating alone, as there would always be a member of La Squadra eating with you. These past few weeks felt so full without them that now it's made imminent to you that without them— life can be so colourless, so monochrome, so damn boring. Your crippling sense of loneliness, in addition to your utter unaccustomed self in a new environment made life hell for you in here. It would only be a few, agonising hours until you would be picked up by one of the assassins. At least there you'd get some actual slumber that won't require you to wake up at five o'clock to practically rush towards the school shower rooms and bathe in ice cold water in the middle of dawn for another day in hell. The teacher's lectures remained audible to you, and yet you couldn't seem to properly understand what she was going on about. It was a mere noise, as your eyes would impatiently dart up to meet with the hands of ticking clock, idly zooming by, as your legs bounced at the anticipation of the bell ringing. It was only a matter of a few more hours and yet, you just can't wait to ditch this hellhole for two days. "L/N, are you paying attention?" You jerk your head up from your daydreams with a slight yelp. Your teacher stood indignant, hands on her hips as she raised a questioning brow at you. "Well?" She waits. "Yes, Madam." You nodded. "Then pray tell, what is the common misconception about Mary Shelley's Frankenstein?" She challenged, shifting her weight on one side and awaits for your answer. It was then you noticed all eyes were on you. You knew the answer very well, it was simple really and yet being the centre of attention certainly hindered you from answering as soon as you can. "See? This is why--" "The common misconception regarding the Gothic novel Frankenstein is that often they refer the monster as Frankenstein, when in reality it's the name of the creator of the creature, Doctor Victor Frankenstein." You once remembered Ghiaccio's outburst about that, his shrill voice just ranting on and on about referencing the name incorrectly in modern pop culture. For a moment the teacher looks at you from the tip of her nose, as if to say 'I'll get you next time', before returning to the lesson Well, that was a relief. You released a breathe you've been harbouring, before turning your head yet again to watch the ticking hands of the clock go by and finally have the day done. ~•~ Similarly to your situation, it has come to her attention that she deeply regretted transferring back to school after a year of her absence. It was as if nothing changed, she was the same ol' Trish no one paid attention to, nor cared about. She only existed amidst their faint breathes whispering amongst each other behind her back as she passes by; "Whoop, there is she is again. I don't get why she returned." "Maybe she was pregnant last year." "Omg, really?" And she despises it. She couldn't have a single shit about their thoughts about her, but if they ever dared to spread rumours she wouldn't hesitate to use her connection with the mafia. She tries not to abuse this power, but come on, who wouldn't? At least now, they knew they wouldn't dare to land a hand on her, she has her own Stand now and not only that, her new family wouldn't stand something such as this to happen to her. All she wanted to do was to leave to godforsaken hell hole for two days for the weekend but alas, her pickup person was taking way too long. As much as she wants to stand up,

march forward to her new home with Bruno and the others, she was strictly told to wait for one of them to pick her up. But alas, they were taking too long and the roof of the waiting shed wasn't ideal for a rainy day either, not with its leaky roof, that is. All she can do was to sit on the metallic bench, and dodge dripping water leaking from the roof of the waiting shed. Seated at arm's length away from her, was a classmate of hers. A memory implanted itself on her brain after that one lecture in class, impressed at their quick wit to respond to the teacher's question, even if they paid little to no attention to the lesson apparently. And not to mention, their nonchalance response after proving the teacher correct was admirable. If only she can do something similar of that, she knew she'd be more proud of herself. The pinkette looks up in anticipation at the sound of a vehicle pulling over in front of a waiting shed, but frowned once she sees it wasn't the usual van Bruno rents. It was a black van, with pure black tinted windows and honestly, she'd think it was one of those vans that you'd be afraid of when you see it approaching. The student beside her let out a relieved sigh, and practically skipped off before boarding the van. Trish couldn't help but to sigh out as well, as she was now left alone to wait under the leaky roof. Trish shivered from the cold, before she decided to gather her knees in front of her chest to provide herself warmth from the rain. If only she brought with her the pink umbrella Giorno gifted to her, but alas, she forgot and left it back in the villa they currently reside in. She wanted to disobey them, and just walk home but she had no umbrella and doesn't really want to spend the weekend with her nose clogged and throat sealed with pain, as much as she wants to stay and rest within the villa with her new found family. She wanted to go home, she hated the hell hole and regretted her decision going back to it. As she wallows from her regrettable decision, the van door opens and the students steps out of it. Trish was confused for a moment, but didn't reacted to it, as her gaze remains directed down. For all she knew they don't left something behind, but apparently she was wrong. "Hey, it's pretty cold and you might catch a fever. You can borrow my jacket, here," Trish looked up, shocked to see you holding a black jacket and a light blue umbrella. She was shocked to say the least, but graciously accepts it. "The umbrella is a bit broken, sorry about that—" "N-no, it's enough... T-Thank you..." "You're welcome," they were quick to interact with, before they run towards the van once again and drove off. Trish watches the black van disappear into a turn, before she looks back at the jacket, subconsciously smiling fondly at it. She shrugs the jacket on, as it was slightly loose around her frame, before opening the umbrella above her head. After glancing at the direction from whence your van drove off, the smile on her face never wavered despite her impatience for her pick up person to arrive. ~•~ "So how was school, Y/N?" Risotto asks after a cheery round of laughter at the dinner table. You halted for a moment upon hearing the dreaded s-word being spoken. Thankfully, no one took notice of your reluctant pause and cleared your throat. You went on as normal, as you poke with your food in front of you. "It's good." You hoped that it wouldn't come up but alas, it was inevitable they'd ask that like any other adult talking to a young adolescent.  "Anyone got your attention~?" Illuso teases with his usual lopsided grin, with a mock crone. "Not really." You deadpanned, as you mentally rolled at the idea of liking someone in that school when everyone's been mean to you. "Your asking the wrong question, did you get someone's attention, though?" Melone chimes in. Once again, you mentally scoff at the idea of someone liking you. "Nuh uh." Oh if only they knew. Well now that you think about it, it was better for them not to know. They're highly capable people with strings to

pull and honestly, your classmates hasn't done anything physical to you yet. "Enough about the lovey dovey crap, what's important is that they're learning crap in school like they're supposed to be!" Ghiaccio retorts towards the two. "We're just glad you're enjoying yourself at school." Pesci adds with a warm smile. Another reason you can't tell them about your hatred for school. They were happy for you having that normalcy in your life, something they've never experienced pleasantly. As much as yours wasn't that ideal of a usual high school teen drama in one of those novels, but at least it wasn't as worst as their experience. And honestly, you would do just about anything to see them smile. "OHHH SHIT, Y/N'S SCHEDULED TO WASH THE DISHES!" Formaggio shouts from the kitchen in joy, prompting you to jerk up your seat in shock. The man has the tendancy to trick you into washing dishes sometimes and now that you've grown and realised how naïve you were, you grew more wary of his tricks. "SHUT THE HELL UP, NO WAY—" "YES WAY!" Formaggio returns from the kitchen, holding up the chart of dish washing schedule, before sticking his tongue out at you. "SUCKER!" Truly, you've missed the rampant chaos within your family, a stark contrast against the repetitive schedule in school. It was sheer chaos there too, not gonna lie, but this is a different type. This was the type wherein you felt at home, just smiling as the villa becomes frosted with a thin layer of ice unlike the one in school. You wanted to stay with them, but of course, their main priority was for you to have some sort of normalcy in your life and honestly, if that's what makes them happy you'd be happy to oblige. You are certainly doing great at school, and they're proud of it, it shows... If only Gelato and Sorbet were to see you as well. They may be gone, but you can just imagine them smiling and encouraging you. ~•~ Of course happy days would pass swiftly than its duller counterpart. Happy days were over once Monday hits and you were once again strapped to your seat for the next eight hours, another three hours by the library to get the Mount Everest high school work due to tomorrow, before curling up against the corner of your bed staring off into the abyss until slumber has taken a liking to you and claim you within its embrace and then somehow, someway, you would be then pulled from your sweet escape by a shrill bell from your bedside table, before you would inevitably glare at the blaring alarm clock, slam your hand against it before attempting to regain about five more minutes of sleep— only then to remember how things function in this seventh circle of hell as it was enough to convince you to get up and march towards your dresser with your stuff and head to the shower room. Needless to say, you've got the school schedule memorised by now. Even the usual discord occurring from time to time began to bore you. Nothing much really happened in school, you were just slowly deteriorating from boredom and by home sickness... Once gain, just goes to show how much you missed your chaotic little assassin family. You set yourself by your desk with a sigh, just wanting to get through this place without wanting to wreak havoc within the school premises that will prompt a bad mark on your pristine records. Not that you cared, it's just that Prosciutto will surely bitch about once he catches a glimpse of it and make an hour-long lecture about it. You let out an exhausted sigh for the umpteenth time, slumping against your desk with your eyes closed when suddenly a figure stands in front of your table. You immediately straightened your back and tried your best to look alive, before glancing up at her. "Oh hey, what's up?" You instinctively asked to swerve yourself away from the awkward silence, smiling up to the pinkette. "Hi, thank you for lending me you cost and umbrella. If it weren't for them I would've caught a cold back there." She hands you your jacket and umbrella back, in which you graciously accepted. "You're welcome, Miss Una— I-um—" you

stammered, your hands brushing against hers once you've reached to collect your neatly folded, pressed and newly washed jacket, along with your light blue umbrella. It was the heat of the moment when you gave her those following items and felt sorry for the girl, concerned about the dripping rain and the cold, humid air. "It's no problem." "Please no need for formalities, we're the same age. Just call me Trish." She insists. "There's the cafe in front of campus. I'll see you there after classes, my treat. It's the least I can do to show you my gratitude." "Uhhh, of course." For a moment it didn't process that the café she was referring to was an expensive one. The posh, fancy, the Prosciutto's to-go-to type of thing that charges an arm and a leg just to buy a shot of espresso, and they'd charge you your pair of kidneys if you asked for sugar and cream. Money wasn't a problem now that the boss was actually considerate, but why in all nine circle's of hell did you not insist her not to treat you? Well now's too late, as class has started and she's trudged back to her desk. Aside from the expensive coffee shop... Wow, you never thought that your encounter with her would expand to this type of interaction. At the back of your mind screamed wary, but something stronger in you just found this as a perfect opportunity for a friendship to bloom. She seems like a nice girl and quite frankly, she'd be lovely to spend time with. Like the weeks before spending your time in school, you gaze up to the clock as always, excited for something new other than weekends to go back to the La Squadra villa. This time, you were excitedly anticipating the time after class to meet with the lovely pinkette. Something good will happen, I just feel it!

[coruscantguard]

a void in the deserted temple

Barriss Offee, mentions of Ahsoka Tano, Luminara Unduli, & Lieutenant Trap.

Warning for a character throwing up, mentioned past character death, and all the general angst that comes with time travelling back before you betrayed everyone you knew and loved

(Ao3 Link)

When Barriss first sees Ahsoka again, she throws up.

She can’t actually remember most of that interaction, right now. She remembers waking up in a room that hasn’t belonged to her in years, remembers walking out to see a Jedi Temple full of light, full of life, remembers thinking that this must be a dream. She remembers starting to walk to Master Luminara’s quarters, because if there’s one person she wants to see before she wakes up it’s her Master alive, alive and breathing and not frozen to death, her body a trap for any surviving Jedi. She remembers walking, and hearing the noises of a group of initiates, and turning and seeing Ahsoka’s montrals in a group of senior initiates, seeing Ahsoka, realizing— Force, Ahsoka isn’t even Skywalker’s padawan yet— and then Barriss came to in a refresher, hunched over and upheaving her lunch.

What did she even eat for lunch? Does she— or, well, past-her— have plans today? Did Padawan Offee know anything besides the basics of Soresu when Master Unduli took her on originally? If this is real, not the dream she thought it was, not the nightmare she’d feared it being, then have her sudden shields prompted suspicion? If this is real— and the fact that she just threw up is indicating that this probably isn’t a dream— then she has to keep her shields up. She knows that, but she also knows that for a while when she was a padawan her shields had been as leaky as Ahsoka’s got when Skywalker was missing, so her sudden shields could give her away easily. Provided that this truly isn’t any kind of dream or hallucination or vision, but she’s never been prone to visions, not like Ahsoka—

Force sithing hells. Ahsoka.

Her stomach rolls again dangerously, and Barriss hurries to lean back over, waits until her body is finally done. Forces back the tears gathering in the corners of her eyes, partially caused by the exertion of her dry-heaving, partially caused by the emotional toll of seeing— of seeing her again.

Oh, Force. Oh karking hells, oh Force, Barriss has the sinking suspicion that this is truly, honestly, real. That she’s actually in the past. Actually been given another chance.

It’s disgusting and unhygienic, but Barriss rests her head against the porcelain basin. Closes her eyes. It’s all too much. Why is she, of all people, the one sent back? Karma? Penance?

Is this to be her punishment? Falling apart in the Temple’s refreshers, a place she’d thought she’d never get to see again? The light all around as she chokes on the Dark Side bubbling up within her, her very existence a betrayal to those she loved, then backstabbed? She knows, she knows that the Force does not punish, but…

Barriss is a traitor, and a liar, and a fool, and the Temple bombing hasn’t happened yet in this timeline, but that doesn’t absolve her, not even close. She led to the death of her fellow Jedi, she personally murdered troopers, just as she’d murdered Trap all those years ago, she framed her best friend because she’d spent years stewing in her fury regarding Ahsoka’s lack of anger after witnessing Barriss gut Trap—

And she’d been stupid enough to think that Ahsoka’s connections could protect her, that Skywalker’s bond with the Chancellor and her Grandmaster being on the Council would soften the blow, that—

A sharp knock on the door interrupts her thoughts. “Barriss? Padawan?”

Kark.

Her former Master’s voice is perfectly controlled, but Barriss can tell that she’s worried. Master Luminara would not have called her ‘Padawan’ if she was not worried. There was always a certain amount of affection in her former Master’s voice whenever she called Barriss that— when introducing her to others, it took the form of pride for the young woman Barriss was growing up to be, when concerned for her wellbeing, it encompassed the question of are you okay, and how can I help— and it’s audible to Barriss right now, just as it always was. There’s that affection in her Master’s voice, soothing the sharp edges of her panic, because Master Luminara loves her and trusts her and cares for her and surely she can help fix this and—

And Barriss had taken advantage of that when she turned her back on everything Master Luminara had ever stood for, and attacked the Jedi Temple. Attacked her home, the place that raised her, that loved her— the place that just hours prior, when she’d been in her cell, staring at Darth Vader standing outside her door— she would’ve done anything to return to.

And in the end, that’s what it truly comes down to, isn’t it? Barriss is a traitor, a betrayer, but— she regrets. She regrets, knows that she would do things differently if she could, and- and it seems she suddenly has an opportunity to do so, an opportunity staring her right in the face. She does not deserve it, but Force hells, since when did anyone get what they deserved?

So if she has the opportunity to make a change, then karking hell, by the Force, she has a moral obligation to herself to do so. To herself, if not to everyone else she wronged in her first life.

Barriss closes her eyes, and breathes in. Breathes out, and opens them, then pushes herself up, off the floor, and tries to smooth down her dress. She doesn’t look in the mirror— knows that she won’t be able to handle seeing Jedi Padawan Barriss Offee, age 14, staring back at her— and goes to open the door.

Master Luminara’s presence is nothing but light, and Barriss is in her younger self’s body, too young and too short and too clumsy, but despite that, for the first time in years, everything feels right.

[kylorengarbagedump]

Little Bird: Chapter 32 (NSFW)

Read on AO3. Part 31 here. Part 33 here.

Summary:  Does anyone want to be here? Seriously.

Words: 4800

Warnings: tw: EXTREMELY DUBIOUS CONSENT for the first half of the chapter

Characters: Kylo Ren x Handmaid!Reader

A/N: This took some time to write, despite its length, so I really, really hope y'all enjoyed it, and I hope it achieved what I was hoping to achieve.

Big big thanks to @pnw-escapism, @thetorturerwrites, and @faestae for looking it over and providing guidance/corrections. I love y'all very very much.

I also love YOU. And I also hope you are enjoying this fic. I enjoy trying new things and challenging myself, so I hope the results are worth it. Y'all truly bless me every week. Thanks so very much, and stay safe. <3

In less than fifteen minutes, Kylo Ren was going to fuck you.

At the thirty-minute mark, your pulse pounded when you tied up your hair, recalling the last time he’d taken it down, wondering how you would feel once it was over.

At sunrise, you’d woken to the chirping chorus of birds in the garden, their song stirring in your mind as you dressed, as you shambled down the stairs, counting steps like you prepared to count seconds.

Yesterday, in bed, you imagined the painful stretch of his dick, the apathy in his eyes, the solemn sentence of your existence--not a woman to him, or even a person, but a receptacle for his seed.

And now, in less than fifteen-fucking-minutes, you would lie back in Johana’s lap, hold her little hands, spread your naked legs, and Kylo Ren would fuck you.

The sound of his voice permeated the thick air of the den, filtering through your ears like mud, mind already too murky to process it. From your knees, you could spy the shadows of his boots and Johana’s feet. Between them, the fireplace was barren--you wished for flame, for something else you could blame for your damp hairline.  

Whatever reading he was performing dissipated while you focused on your breath, the slow, leaky sound of your trembling lungs grounding you to reality. In any other reality, in any other universe, you would spread your legs for Kylo Ren without him having to ask--but in this one, you were his former lover, his future incubator, his present cum repository. What you had shared with him was indescribable and unsustainable, it had shredded you open from your spirit to your skin, it had left you floating, a spectre to your own existence--and it made you terrified for him to touch you again.

The snap of a shutting Bible jolted you alive. You swallowed, and Kylo stood, leaving the book on the chair.

“Go prepare. I’ll be in.” His voice was emptier than you’d ever heard it.

“Yes, Sir,” Johana replied, and he left, crossing the room and exiting without a word.

On her instruction, the Marthas departed, and you followed her just as you’d done twice before--across hardwood, up the staircase, through the dark halls and into the bedroom. In the two days since she’d stolen your switchblade, you hadn’t spoken a single word to Johana, partially out of fear, partially out of anger. Your meeting with Rey had been embarrassing--you’d almost begged her to take you off of the assignment, to let you escape and forget about everything you’d promised to provide.

But you doubted Kylo would let you go, regardless of his current demeanor. And you’d also come to a reluctant, painful realization that you were the only person on the planet with enough insight on him to help bring Gilead down.

The thought of his future torment was a skewer to your heart--you were breathless at the mere consideration of him suffering, when all you’d ever desired was to hold his hand as his equal. But perhaps that was what he’d meant when he’d said he’d had no choice. There was no choice but to drive that skewer through your chest. After all, this wound would be like so many other wounds you’d accumulated since you’d been assigned to a red dress--it would continue to weep, drench your flesh in iron agony until it could scar. Until you were finally free.

“We don’t have all day.”

Johana’s voice yanked you back into his bedroom. She’d already lit the candles and was sitting, hands open, in the middle of the bed. Your stomach squirmed again--but you stepped to the side of the frame and slipped out of your underwear before clambering to join her, scooting to the edge of the mattress. Staring into the ceiling, you plopped your head onto her stomach and eased your knees apart, stiff fabric scratching your bare thighs, and when she grasped your hands, you started trembling.

Your first ceremony with Kylo Ren had been before you’d known him, before he’d known you. Now you’d lie under him and pretend that you had never seen devotion in his eyes, or felt affection at his fingers.

“What are you nervous about?” she mumbled. “This is nothing new for you.”

You didn't respond, worried that if you opened your mouth, you'd tether yourself to a moment that you wanted to fly away.

The door opened, and your stomach fell through the floor, smacked the foundation. Commander Kylo Ren stepped through the threshold, silent while he shut the door and approached the bed. Your heart hammered your chest, throat thick, breath picking up in pace, and through the veil of fear, you met Kylo’s gaze, the electric surge between you stuttering your pulse.

He studied your face, his jaw tight, a flicker of shielded connection vanishing in his pupils. You stared, chin quaking, seeking his mercy, met only with vacant, deadened consideration, an absence of recognition--it was as if he wasn’t even there. Behind you, Johana crushed your hands, a reminder of your inferiority, and you whimpered. You were a hummingbird, flitting between two lifeless flowers, starving for sustenance they could no longer provide, exhausted wings beating pleas into the cold, hollow air.

As he lifted your skirt, you disappeared into your mind, hoping to dissociate until he was done.  An ache tore open your gut, a longing for him to be someone, anyone else--anyone who hadn’t held you, anyone who hadn’t kissed you, anyone who hadn’t ever spoken your name. And especially not this man, the one who had driven you to delusion, who haunted you, a revered revenant of your desires both pure and depraved.

In the distance, you heard Johana sigh, and then the muffled sound of him groping himself through his trousers. The world had become a turbulent torrent around you--all you wanted to do was drift. Or drown, flooded in memories you wished you didn't have.

Johana jerked your arms back in a vice-grip--you flinched, glancing up at her, only to observe that her focus had fallen to your Commander, who had exposed his erection, his cock thick and hard in his hand. He worked himself in preparation, as if he wanted to ignore you, as if the acknowledgement of your presence interfered with his task. Your pulse picked up, and another shudder rippled through you when he stepped forward, avoiding the pressure of your stare that you knew he felt.

You wondered, briefly, if he’d thought about stopping--if he knew you didn’t want this, didn’t want to be fucked like this, and especially not by him. You also wondered if he knew that it wasn’t because you hated him, or because you didn’t want him, but for just the opposite--and to meet him in faux-intimacy, to be branded with recollections of what you would never have and had been stupid to crave seemed worse than wallowing in nothing at all.

It didn’t matter, really, if he had--between the Eyes and Johana, he was duty-bound to fuck you and pump you full of semen--but as he parted your folds with the head of his dick, his eye twitched, his throat bobbed.

The pain was sharp and sun-white, and you whinged, wincing as your Commander broke your pussy open with a long, slow thrust, his breath caught in his chest. Chin trembling, he exhaled, tearing his attention from between your legs to meet your eyes. But it brought no relief--instead of solace, you found nothing. Nothing but a resigned, black void, swallowing familiarity. You snuffed a wheeze, sweat blooming at your nape.

Johana cleared her throat, jostling the bed with her calves, and Kylo started thrusting in lustless, obligated strokes. The tension, the resistance made it worse--you bit your lip, absorbing the hurt, unable to leave his gaze. With every new thrust, he split you wider, nerve endings buzzing in protest, the pain subsiding as your walls worked to accept the intrusion. In this fervorless reunion, you could focus on nothing else but the ice of his stare, the squelching sound of his cock, and Johana’s quiet, restrained breath.

Regret swelled in your chest, suffocating you. You wished it hadn’t had to end like this, wished he could have seen you as whole, wished he could have known you as you were, wished that he’d had the opportunity to truly cherish you--and maybe, to your horror, even more. Maybe, in some other world where he wasn’t possessed by power, he could have freed you.

Maybe, in this same, fictional world, he could have even loved you.

Water welled in your vision, and you sniffled, averting your gaze, hoping Kylo wouldn't see your tears. But it was too late--he grunted, and his hips jerked, moving faster, skin smacking yours in a shockwave of suffering. Whining, you caught his eyes again, and now they were whirlpools, churning with loathing and fury and sorrow. It thawed you, the intensity, the company in your misery--your Commander, still your reflection, as desperate as you were to leave this moment, to end the dagger reminders of your history.

That was the truth: you missed him. And he missed you. But you could never have each other in any way other than this.

Seized in the hurricane of emotion, Kylo’s lid twitched, and he gulped. He was close, you could tell, but stuck on the edge, unable to reach his peak, fucking you deeper, forcing himself toward climax. A tiny gasp left him when he shifted, leaning back to watch his dick drive into you--but your lack of enthusiasm, the dry spasm of your cunt dashed this strategy, too, and his chin quaked, eyes darting to you again, the whirlpool now a maelstrom threatening to gush from his flesh, and you wanted it to, wanted to asphyxiate in his anguish, wanted to meld with his need until the hot awful ache in your chest bubbled and burst and bled you alive.

Johana growled. “Will you hurry up and finish, already?”

You splintered, a sob escaping--it was unfair, so, so fucking unfair--and tears spilled down your cheeks as you trembled in her grasp, shuddered wails fleeing your chest. She seethed, and Kylo choked a groan as he shivered, slamming your cunt once, twice, with deep, full thrusts, teeth bared. And then he collapsed, back crested, bracing himself on the bed, panting with something you might have confused for exhaustion if you didn't know the truth, despite his theatrics. He hadn’t actually finished.

Avoiding your face, he pulled out, a blessing to your sore sex, and tucked himself away. Johana sighed with impatience, but he ignored her, glancing at you with glossy eyes before storming out of the room and slamming the door behind him.

With a snivel, you met Johana’s gaze through the watery cloud of your own. If she hadn’t stolen the switchblade--if she hadn’t been so damn blind...

The latent pool of pain within you boiled like lava to sudden rage. Snarling, you ripped yourself forward, and she yanked you back, legs curling around you.

“What are you doing,” you hissed, “let me go!”

“If you think I’ll let you screw up getting pregnant--”

Grumbling, you twisted in her grip, wringing free. “I don’t care about that!”

She snagged your wrist, reeling you toward her. “Well, I do!”

“Get off!” You shoved her back, catching her eyes, spying the pricks of wetness there. “Is this really what you wanted? This is what you dreamed of?” Sneering, you leapt to the ground, wobbling from the ache in your cunt before snatching your underwear and pulling it on. “This is the life you imagined as a little girl?”

Johana watched you, silent, face contorted in a strange mixture of terror and disbelief. You rolled your eyes. There was no point in trying to reason with someone who was dedicated to dragging you into her own personal hell. Scowling, you took to the nightstands, ripping out the drawers--empty, empty, empty. Only one was occupied by the Bible, which you opened and shook for good measure, but found nothing. Growling, you turned to the dressers, stalking over to them.

“You’re wasting your time,” she said. “The knife isn’t in here. I don’t even sleep here anymore.”

You spun on her. “Why hide it at all?” Quick steps carried you to the bed. “Why are you doing this?”

She glared at you. “Why are you doing this?”

Blinking, you stalled. “What?”

“Is having the Commander wrapped around your finger not enough for you?” she said. “Do you have to try and--and take Gilead, take my child from me, too?”

“Your child--”

“Yes, my child!” She straightened, hopping from the bed. “I’m owed it! I deserve it!” More tears brimmed in her eyes. “And it deserves even a shred of stability when it comes into this world!”

A short laugh left you. “Is that really what you want?” you asked. “To raise a baby that isn’t even yours with a man who doesn’t even love you?”

“That’s what God wants for me!” she snarled. “It’s my job as the Commander’s Wife to stand by him, and once you give birth, I don’t care what I have to do. It’ll be your job to leave.” She was feet from you now, face tight. “Whether he loves me or not doesn’t even matter.”

You allowed her sentence to hang in the air, collect the weight of hopelessness like a magnet.

“Doesn’t it?”

She stared. There was a level of fantasy to her indignation, her ego clinging to the belief that once you were gone, this could all go back to normal, that all she needed to do was endure this new bout of her husband’s madness, as she’d endured everything else. A nagging thought lingered in the back of your mind--there’d been others who’d threatened this fairytale. You couldn’t figure out why she was putting up with you.

“I know there were Handmaids,” you said. “Before me. Why haven’t you, you know.” You shrugged. “Done with me like you’ve done with them.”

Johana stuck her chin out as she glanced over you, cheeks pink--then looked away. “It doesn’t matter.” She cleared her throat, smoothed her hair, and stomped to the door. “Just. Get pregnant. That’s all that matters.” Slipping behind it, she was gone.

Alone in their bedroom, you stared into the ground, shaking, and you kicked the air with a furious shriek, forcing tension through your hands. Your mind was still roiling--Kylo’s behavior during the Ceremony had confused, baffled you. There was only one important part of the entire ordeal, only one true reason for your purpose--and in the face of your pain, he’d abandoned it completely.

Sighing, you crept through the threshold, deciding to return to your room. As you passed through the blue-night soaked halls, through the wide windows overlooking the garden, you heard it--a tormented roar, the crash and shatter of something on stone--and your chest tightened. It could only be your Commander. And he could only be that upset about you.

Your ribs wrenched open with shameless need--a need you could and would no longer deny. In the strangled air of the bedroom, pretense had collapsed; you had needed him to see you, not a Handmaid, not his property, but you, human and broken and afraid. And he’d met you there, human too, a lonely Midas on his throne, buried within a mountain of glittering, lifeless gold. Like a gust, your feet carried you down the steps and through the house, careening toward the garden.

Breathless, you threw open the back door, flying over stepping stones, your path littered with the colorful carcasses of his wrath. You followed the shredded hedges, the flower petals tossed like confetti over grass, guided by his echoing ragged breath, hidden beyond the trickling pond. Skipping past the bench, you snuck between the topiaries, dodging shards of ceramic--remnants of planters that he’d shattered on the ground, leaving mulch hills and mangled leaves behind. And then, breaking through the viney maze, you saw him: a terrible, heaving shadow, stranded in a sea of black emerald grass.

He heard you, a ghost in the wind, and turned--hips-chest-shoulders--appraising his demolished domain, and then his eyes, red with remorse, found you in the wreckage, awash with him in the receding tide of reality. God, Gilead, the Council, the Ceremony--all of them equally meaningless in the new, blistering dew of your shared liberty, all of them crumbling like a brittle nest under the gravity of your need.

Kylo cut through the lawn, rushing you, and before you could think or speak or breathe, he was on you, one arm buckling your knees, the other catching your shoulders as he swept you up to his chest. Air escaped you, and you stared into him and his galaxy gaze, his hair melting into the moonless sky--a deity descended, your secret salvation. He clutched you to his chest, as if he could collapse you into it, nuzzling his face into yours, breathing in the scent of your skin.

You went to speak, and he hushed you, drawing a deep breath into his lungs, his fingers curling into your flesh. He held you there, cradling you under the stars, until you relaxed, releasing the breath you hadn’t even known you’d been holding. Then, without words, he walked with you, keeping you tight to his torso, sheltering you in the strength of his body. Trembling, you nestled into him, pressing your ear to his breast, reveling in the resonance of his nervous heart.

Kylo Ren carried you through his home, ascended the stairs, took you through those blue-night halls again, never once loosening his grip until he opened the door to his bedroom and shut and locked it behind him. He took you to the bed, a faux-bride in a blood-red dress, and eased you down, your head sinking into the pillow, your body limp on the mattress.

Strange, how different it felt from moments ago, how it was now a refuge in his presence, rather than a prison. Your shaking wouldn’t stop--it had escalated to full-body tremors, and he shushed you, cupping your face in his large palm, lifting your bonnet from your hair and tossing it to the side. Kylo captured you in his shiny, wet gaze, pressing his lips to your forehead before meeting it with his own.

“I don’t want you in this,” he said, tugging at your dress. “I don’t want you in this ever again.”

Blinking, you exhaled a laugh of disbelief. “What?” you asked. “But the law--”

“I don’t care.” His hand quaked at your cheek. “Let me remedy this.”

“Oh…” Your blood sang. “Okay.”

Keeping his forehead to yours, Kylo grappled with your boots and socks, tearing them free and tossing them to the side, then lifted your skirt, peeling your dress from your figure, staying linked to you until you needed to raise your arms to remove the rest. His face burrowed into your naked neck, and his hands swathed your back while he worked to remove your bra, sliding the straps from your shoulders and discarding it, too. Your breasts exposed, new gooseflesh smothered you, this time borne of wonder. Breath shallow, he hooked his thumbs into your underwear, meeting your eyes for permission--you nodded, and he shucked them in a single, strong movement.

Fully naked below him, he drank you in, his gaze glossy again, but he swallowed the emotion, passing his thumb over your temple. Then he paused, glanced at the floor, before kicking off his own shoes and stripping himself, his clothes joining the pile he’d created at the side of the bed.

He was flush with fire that swarmed the air as he climbed over you, the sensation of flesh-on-flesh wracking your bones. Shushing you again, he threaded his fingers into your hair, pressing soft kisses along your cheek, trailing to your jaw before he nestled into your neck once more, an arm looping under you, pulling you into him. Heat blossomed, blazing between your bodies as skin skimmed skin, and you writhed, wrapping your arms around him.

“Tell me,” Kylo began, his voice a whisp in your ear, “tell me everything.”

A shiver skittered up your spine. “About what?”

He mouthed wet, warm kisses at your throat. “You.”

“Like…” You blushed, thighs grating together. “Like, where I was born?”

“No.”

Nipping your ear, he moved lower, hands skating over you, painting pleasure with his palms. He suckled at your clavicle, tracing a line to your sternum with his tongue--you whimpered.

“Tell me what you fear.”

Gripping your backside, he burned kisses between your breasts, briefly acknowledging them with a nuzzle before continuing--his mouth was tender and deliberate, as if you were gossamer, as if you would tear under his touch.

“Tell me what you’ve lost.”

With a hum, he kissed over the roll of your belly, to the swell of your sex, settling between your legs and gracing your thighs with his lips. You squirmed, chattering with need, rocked by the ripples of pleasure arcing through your nerves.

“Tell me what you think of before you sleep.”

His nose skated your folds--and in one swift action, he grappled your hips, spinning you and rolling until he was supine beneath you, your legs straddling his head. You balanced yourself with the headboard, trying to find steady breath while you dizzied at the sight of your Commander’s beautiful face below you, a demon preparing for baptism between your thighs.

“Kylo--”

He murmured your name to quiet you, kissing the quivering flesh near your heat, your walls throbbing in anticipation. Kylo was slow, dragging over every inch while he teased toward your knees, then back, his hands caressing your hips. His eyes met yours, brimming with adoration, and he licked a line across your cunt, mouth massaging your other thigh. Breath quaking, you sifted through his hair, head falling back as you allowed your lids to flutter shut.

“Tell me,” he said, and pressed his lips to you.

A soft cry escaped, and you swallowed--Kylo was scattering small kisses along your slit, as if to heal the intangible wounds he’d left behind. He slicked through you, tentative, curious, exploring your depth, groaning with delight as he tasted you. To your surprise, words tumbled free, an easy baring of your soul, loosened by the barrage of bliss on your brain.

“I’m afraid…” You whined when he sucked a fold into his mouth. “I’m afraid of being alone.”

He purred in praise, releasing you to gather the other half with his lips, suckling it swollen, his tongue wet and strong as it slipped into your slit. There was a deliberate avoidance of your clit--which twitched and stiffened in ways it would only do for him--his mouth marking you in memory as he kissed you not in desire, but in apology. In servitude.

“I’m afraid of being lost,” you said, and another round of tears threatened to fall. “I think I am lost.”

Licking lines through you, Kylo purred when he reached the top of your cunt, circling your clit with lavish, lingering kisses. You groaned, fingers coiling around his waves, your hips bucking, begging for him, for his release. But he was torturous--he drew his tongue between your slit until his nose grazed your clit, sparking pleasure, a moan catching in your throat. Humming, he rolled the tip around it, and air fled you in wanton breaths while you tried in vain to grind onto his face, fighting his hold on you.

“I’ve… I’ve lost who I was.” Your throat was tight, your breath cycling faster. “I’ve lost who I wanted to be…”

Finally, finally--he rewarded your patience and flicked your clit with his tongue, swirling it in saliva before taking it between his plush lips. You sobbed, tears spilling free, body thrashed with waves of ecstasy, and Kylo moaned into you, his mouth hot and soft and working your clit as it throbbed and ached against him. Laving at you, he sucked, hands stroking up your sides until he reached your breasts, palming at them, thumbs brushing your nipples. Your back arched in bliss, and you jerked his head into you--in response, he battered your nub with his tongue, suckling you faster, chasing your wriggling frame as you gyrated in rhythm, your chin dropping to your chest, body plunged in pleasure.

“And I--ah--I think of you before I sleep,” you panted, unashamed, creeks streaking your cheeks, “I think of belonging, I think of being found, I think of being yours--oh--”

Kylo gripped your hips. “Cum for me,” he muttered, breathing your name. “I’ll find you.”

He drove his face into your cunt, sucking your clit past his teeth, beating it faster, groaning, bathing in your slick. You whined, twitched, moaned, and euphoria exploded over your skin--you came hard onto his tongue, clit pulsing in his lips, walls spasming at his chin. Kylo sucked in a breath through his nose, swallowing your orgasm, following your descent until the tingles disintegrated and you collapsed, spent, onto the bed, sweat sticking to the sheets, still shivering with tears.

A guardian, he gathered you up, pulling you into his protective embrace, a strong arm enveloping you. He folded you to his frame while he pet your hair, his lips soothing at your scalp.

“You’re here,” he murmured against your hairline. “You belong.”

You knew, from the soft lilt of his voice, he meant with him, not to him. In the silence, you wept, nuzzling into his bare chest, snaking your legs between his, hoping to blend your bodies. Doubt and relief zipped through you--this was all you’d wanted, perhaps all you’d ever want. His defiance and rejection of your role was concession enough for your forgiveness. But he was still a Commander. You couldn’t understand why he’d do it all for a Handmaid. For you.

“What about the others?” you asked. “Before me? Did they…”

He huffed. “The others sought me as you did.” A pause as a tiny exhale left his nose. “None were like you.”

You blushed. “But don’t you care,” you said with a sniffle, “about. You know. What made me this way?” When he didn’t respond, you continued, “Um. Like what made me a Handmaid.”

“I read your file,” he replied. “The day after you crushed a flower in my face.” He kissed your crown. “I’ve known.”

“Oh.” Heat swept over you. “You don’t care?”

He eased you back, gazing into you, thumb swiping a stray tear from your cheek. “Any man before me is inconsequential,” he said. “The number moreso.”

More heat. Shame. “I just thought…” You couldn’t continue looking into his honest eyes. “You helped make the laws.”

Kylo was silent, for a moment, his chest rising and falling with a slow breath. “There are laws I did not create.”

The admission flipped your insides, mind rushing back--Snoke’s office, his mockery of Kylo’s doubts, the recording, Ben Solo--you snuggled closer, smoothing your palms over his scarred skin. There were more scars, scars that you couldn’t see, but wanted to know and understand.

“What made you this way?” you asked. “Who was Ben Solo?”

Kylo Ren said nothing for a long, strained stretch, his heart quickening at your cheek. You stared into the wall, unwilling to move, to shatter the fragile vulnerability that he’d revealed. Then he tilted your head, large hand grasping the back of your neck while he pulled you into a slow, gentle kiss, lips caressing yours, his arm pinning you to his side. As he kissed you, he maneuvered you both so you were under the sheets, hidden to the world. He released you, only to graze your mouth again before passing his nose over yours.

“Tomorrow.” His irises shimmered, molten gold alive with passion. “You’ll see.”

Your pulse jumped. “O-okay.”

From the corner of your eye, you spied a proud tent in the sheets, bobbing for attention--you hadn’t even realized how long he’d been this hard. You knew he’d been denied release, that you hadn’t made him cum in weeks (though you didn’t know his private activities), and to have the opportunity now, in this bath of intimacy, was almost irresistible. Biting your lip, you reached for it, but he grabbed your wrist.

“Tomorrow, eager little bird.” He wove his long, thick fingers between yours, his grip dwarfing your own with ease, and clutched your hand to his chest. “Lie with me. Sleep.”

Nodding, you wiggled your fingers in his, your heart dancing, cells crackling with joy. Tomorrow. You didn’t know what it would bring, or the path for your future--but you knew, for now, the path to freedom seemed like one you could walk together. For now, the Resistance could wait. For now, Kylo Ren was warmer than a hearth, deeper than a forest, calmer than an empty ocean.

He was everything--both your night sky and your stars. And you fell asleep, serene, in the vastness of his arms.

[kitten-anarchy]

nothing but the truth (1/2)

His body is burning hot, shaking in the way it would in the early days. He doesn’t know where he is, everything blurring together as black spots dance in his vision. The tight feeling in his chest is a leaky and dripping thing, filling up his lungs and crawling up his throat, and Five just wants it out.

Distantly, he can hear a lock click.

“Five? Five!” Two strong hands wrap around his shoulders, a blurred face breaking through his haze of panic. Five blinks and the image focuses - it’s Diego, hauling him up by his shoulders. “What’s wrong?”

He bursts.

(Following their collective un-adoption, Five gets injected with a truth serum, has a bit of a breakdown, and finally gets a hug. Post S2 - S.A. exists.)

Part 2 (Coming Soon)

AO3 Link (Coming Soon)

They all practically collapse into a motel, bruised and bloody but alive. They no longer have a home, their lives are in shambles, but at the very least, he and his siblings aren’t dead. Five has learned to take what he can get. Allison rumors them two connecting rooms with ease, and they all file in.

Five plops himself down on a ratty wooden armchair tucker in the far corner. It’s got a good view of the rest of the room, and it’s close to a window. His side twinges at the thought of having to sleep upright on the uncomfortable and splintered insult to furniture, but it’s a small price to pay for safety.

“Is everyone okay?” Luther asks, collapsing onto one of the queen-sized beds. With the way it groans, Five is surprised it hasn’t collapsed under his weight already. Diego falls into the other one next to him, gripping his gut. “Diego?”

“I’m fine. It’s just the fucking stab wound Dad gave me acting up.” Diego mutters, face pinched.

“Join the club,” Five mutters. Amidst the chaos that was fighting the Sparrow Academy completely unprepared, the man had managed to stab him with a needle. Five had managed to shake it off before all of it was emptied into his body, but the fact that he doesn’t know what it’s going to do to him is… unsettling.

It’ll be fine. Five can handle whatever side-effects it throws at him by himself.

“You join the club,” Diego snaps back, bringing him back to the present. “Dad stabbed me first!” He pauses, brows furrowing. “Wait, when did you get stabbed by Dad?”

“Does it matter? It’s Dad.” Diego stares at him, pushing himself up on an elbow.

“Five—“

“Do we even still call ‘Dad’ now? I mean, he pretty much un-adopted us.” Klaus wonders out loud, stretching out next to Diego with his legs crossed. “Don’t even get me started on Emo-Ben.”

“‘Emo-Ben’?” Allison quirks an eyebrow, placing a first aid kit on the coffee table in the middle of the room. She tosses Diego a bottle of aspirin. Five makes a mental note to sneak some pills from it later.

“Yeah, ‘cause of his awful bangs. Where’d you get that?”

“Asked the motel owner while I was getting this room. It’s not great, I know”

“Should I get some food?” Vanya asks, wiping the sweat from her pale face. Fighting against the Sparrow Academy’s attempts to capture them had taken a lot out of her.

“No offense, Van, but you look like you’re gonna pass out,” Klaus says. “So does Five, honestly.” Five jerks slightly at the mention, instinctively gripping the briefcase tighter.

He doesn’t want to deal with their worry right now. (‘Where was it when the world was about to be destroyed?’ A quiet, bitter part of him hisses.)

“Actually,” Allison says, glancing between him and Vanya with her stupid mothering eyes. “I think I saw a small shop downstairs. Does anyone want anything?”

“I want chips! And a bottle of nail polish, thank you.”

“I can come help, if you want,” Five can practically see Luther’s tail wagging as he sits up to look at Allison hopefully. He’d laugh if his chest didn’t hurt so much.

“Some notebooks and pens would be nice,” Five mutters, absentmindedly rubbing at his neck. The injection point is starting to itch, and he digs his grimy nails in further, practically clawing at it in a vain attempt to get the sensation to stop. There’s a tight knot in his chest like he’s gotten heartburn, and he can’t seem to breathe. “I’m taking a shower.” He says, abruptly standing up and brushing past his siblings towards the dingy motel bathroom.

As soon as the lock clicks, Five throws up.

--

Five practically tears the shower curtains off of the rod when Klaus busts down the bathroom door, clothes in hand. “Oh, Five-y!” He chirps, setting them down on the cracked toilet seat. “I come bearing gifts!” They must have gone out for new clothes - Klaus has shed his 60s get up for a loose black skirt and some band t-shirt.

“The door was locked,” He hisses. “Do you even know what the word ‘knock’ means?”

Klaus laughs, turning to look at him. “Of course I do, Fi—ive, Christ on a cracker!” His mouth drops open. It’s the bruises, Five realizes belatedly and clutches the curtain tighter to his chest. “What happened?”

He bats away the hand that’s reaching to grab the shower curtain. “Unlike the rest of you, I haven’t exactly had the luxury of sitting around and playing house.” Between two apocalypses, there wasn’t any time to worry about old wounds and a couple of bruises. Besides, Five’s gotten used to the dull aches of pain. “It’s fine. It doesn’t matter anymore. Get out.”

Klaus stares at him. “Uh, I think it matters a lot? You look like someone used you as a punching bag. You need help, Five.”

You need help, Five.

Now they want to help? Not when the entire world is on the line?

His thin, fraying line of patience snaps.

“Get out, Klaus!” He snaps, throwing a bar of soap at the younger man. Klaus flees at that moment, leaving the bar of soap to hit the door and fall onto the dirty floor.

Great.

Five turns off the shower.

The clothes Klaus brought are clearly for adults much bigger than this stupid body’s skinny frame - the shirt comes down to his knees, and the leggings are baggy around his legs, only held up by the elastic waistband. He looks even stupider pulling the academy shorts over them, the only piece of his uniform that doesn’t smell or feel like something died in them.

It’s comfortable.

Fuck.

Klaus immediately zeroes in on him as soon as he leaves the bathroom, pushing a plastic cup of cheap microwave noodles into his hands. The synthetic chicken smell makes his stomach flip. “Five! I think we should probably talk about what happened.” He claps, looking at Five expectantly. This, unfortunately, attracts the attention of the rest of his brain-dead siblings who can’t seem to get the memo that he wants to be left alone. Five can practically feel the weight of their concerned gazes on him.

“You look like shit, Five.” Diego comments between bites. “What’d you want to talk about anyway, Klaus?”

“It’s about-”

“-nothing.” Five cuts in with a sharp glare. “It’s about nothing. Klaus just needs to mind his own damn business.”

“Five,” Vanya says reproachfully.

“I’m not apologizing,” He says shortly, ignoring the feeling of bile burning the back of his throat. Five doesn’t bother jumping to the armchair - he’s too tired, having burnt up all his energy to stop the apocalypse two times over, and now he has to burn whatever scraps he can find to figure out a way to get them out of this mess. He places the cup noodles onto the floor, grabs the cheap notebook and pen lying on the chair, and tries to start on his equations.

The keyword being tries.

“Aren’t you going to eat, Five?” Luther asks.

“Not hungry.” He bites out. Allison raises an eyebrow.

“Have you been eating?” She asks, pointing a fork at him. “I think all I’ve seen you drink is coffee.”

“He had a pot of coffee when we went to a diner back in Dallas.” Vanya offers up. He shoots her a glare. She doesn’t flinch, staring back cooly.

Huh. Look who grew a backbone. Five would be proud of her if her newfound confidence wasn’t getting in his way.

“I ate other things too.” His headache is getting worse. Maybe he’ll just take some aspirin now.

“Just eat your food, bro.”

“And I said I wasn’t hungry,” Five snaps, slamming the notebook down onto his lap. “I’m fifty-eight fucking years old, Diego. If I wanted a bunch of children half my age to baby me, I would have gone to a fucking daycare.”

Before anyone can say anything - though he can see Diego gearing up for a fight - Five grabs his things and jumps. He ignores the way he stumbles, the way his throat burns, or the way the itching spreads. He doesn’t have time for this. Right now, he needs to work.

There’s probably a closet or something around here that he can work in.

---

It was hot in the apocalypse.

In the first few days, when the bodies were still fresh and unburied and there was smoke and fire everywhere, the temperature never dropped. Even at night, the sweltering heat never eased up, keeping him in a choke hold. It was even hotter where the bodies of his siblings were. Dolores had told him not to sleep at their half-built graves.

It’s too warm, Five. You’ll burn up. She had been kind and gentle about it. It was more than he deserved. You can come back, but you can’t stay.

Five stopped listening to her and continued building.

He got heatstroke two days later.

In his dehydrated, fevered state, he clung to the sun-warmed bodies of his siblings, convinced that they were still alive. His heat-induced hallucinations would talk to him, begging him to help them. If it hadn’t been for a weak thunderstorm passing overhead, Five would have died there with his siblings, lying in a half-dried puddle of his own sick and piss.

He’s reminded of those times now.

His body is burning hot, shaking in the way it would in the early days. He doesn’t know where he is, everything blurring together as black spots dance in his vision. The tight feeling in his chest is a leaky and dripping thing, filling up his lungs and crawling up his throat, and Five just wants it out.

Distantly, he can hear a lock click.

“Five? Five!” Two strong hands wrap around his shoulders, a blurred face breaking through his haze of panic. Five blinks and the image focuses - it’s Diego, hauling him up by his shoulders. “What’s wrong?”

He bursts.

“Everything’s wrong, I don’t know, I never know, it just hurts so much,” The words leave his mouth unbidden, every secret he has ready to spill out into the open at a moment’s notice. “It always hurts, but I guess watching your family die, it’s- it’s always painful, and you look so much nicer alive-”

“Five? Klaus, w-why is he acting like this?”

“Klaus is there too? I never gave him his twenty bucks. I never came back for you either, I’m sorry, I wasn’t going to leave you, I swear, I love you all so much, I-” The world moves, colors blurring together. Next thing Five knows, he is being laid out on something soft.

When it refocuses, Five is staring at the worried faces of his siblings. “I don’t know why you care so much,” His mouth is still moving, and if he were a bit more coherent, he would have been mortified at what was coming out. “I left and even though I tried to get back, I never got back in time, I never get back in time, something always happens-”

“Did he finally lose it?”

“Maybe I did.” Don’t say it. “I spent so long in the apocalypse, I’m-” Don’t say it. “-sure I went insane, I, I thought-” DON’T. SAY. IT. “-about killing myself sometimes, but I didn’t try, I didn’t, I swear, Dolores would-” Something jams itself between his teeth. The taste of wet metal and vomit fills his mouth, and Five only realizes that it’s his forearm when the sharp sting of pain sets in.

His neck itches.

“Hey,” Klaus laughs, voice pitching high with hysteria. “What the fuck?” All of his siblings are staring at him, a little shell-shocked at the sudden confession.

“Ish the needul,” He blurts out, desperate to take the attention off that confession, half-muffled by his forearm. “Dad, he got’h me wiff ah needul.” The heat has died down some, after blurting out so much, but it’s still there.

“I’m sorry, Dad got you with a what?” Much to his chagrin, Diego pries his bloody arm from his teeth. Vanya passes him a roll of bandages. “Why the hell didn’t you say anything? Why can’t you let us help you instead of going off on your own all the time, Five!?”

“Because-” it was only a little, I could handle it, I’m not a kid “-I don’t want you to die again. I don’t want to see you die again. I’m always the last one left, and I’m going to be the last one left because I’m stuck in this stupid thirteen-year-old body, it’s why I hate it so much, though the patronization obviously doesn’t help much since I’m supposed to be 58, but all my wrinkles and white hair and sunspots are gone, and if they’re gone, was I ever really in the apocalypse at all? If a tree falls in the forest with no one around, does it still happen? Sometimes I wish-”

Fuck it. Five might as well put it all out on the table. He’s in no shape to teleport out, and his mouth isn’t going to be stopping anytime soon.

“I wish the bullet holes stayed when I rewound time, because these bruises hurt and maybe I’m the problem, and you were all so happy in the 1960s-”

A soft, calloused hand covers his mouth. “This is an invasion of privacy,” Vanya says quietly. Five can’t see their faces - doesn’t want to see their faces - but the silence says everything.

“H-He said he was hurt,” Diego says, bandages still in hand. “We need to... can you take off his shirt? He’s probably got something hidden under there.”

“Five, do you want me to move my hand?”

“Why are you being so nice to me?” He blurts out the minute Vanya moves her hand slightly to start taking off his shirt and check his injuries. “I don’t understand, I’ve done so many bad things, I ran away and left you to get beaten by Dad, I stranded us in the 1960s, I’ve killed so many people, I killed the board of directors, and it didn’t even get us home in the end because I was so fucking stupid to think the Handler wouldn’t go back on her deal, she always does! I know this-” His shirt is tugged over his head, effectively muting him.

Five resists the urge to cover himself as his bare chest is exposed. The audible gasps of his siblings don’t help whatsoever.

“Five,” Diego takes mercy on him, opening up the first aid kit Allison handed him. “There’s a lot to unpack here, and I know I’m still not entirely sure what’s going on with you, but here’s what’s going to happen.”

“I-”

“Vanya,” Her hand clamps down on his mouth. “We’re not going to force you to say anything else. This is- This isn’t something- what you’ve said. I’m sure there are things you really didn’t want to tell us. That doesn’t mean there aren’t things we won’t address, but not when you’re like this.” Diego’s fingers run through his hair soothingly.

“But why?” Five nearly sobs around Vanya’s palm, and maybe he is sobbing at this point. Everything feels far away and painful at this point, but he fights through it to focus on Diego.

“Because we love you, dumbass,” Diego lightly raps his knuckles on Five’s sweaty forehead. “You’re still apart of this family. Sure you’ve missed out on some stuff, but so have we. It’s a two-way street.”

“We’re here for you,” Vanya hums, Allison sitting down next to her with a smile on her face and a glass of water in hand.

“Yup. Time to shut the fuck up, Five-y.” Klaus grins at him. Luther, who had been standing a little ways away, comes over to wipe at his sweat and tears with a napkin.

“Is it okay if I give you a hug?” He sounds a little teary himself. Five doesn’t trust his mouth not to run away from him, and he nods. At this point, he’s too emotionally and physically exhausted to keep up any pretenses.

Everyone crowds on the shitty motel bed that’s way too small to support the weight of six people to join in on the hug, but Five finds that he can’t seem to care.

He clings to the first hug he’s gotten in forty-five years and doesn’t let go.

[vinnylovell]

How To Overcome Brain Degeneration As You Age group

The unique thing about the actual brain is that it is one of the tissue in the body that does not experience cell division. Your own liver is always rejuvenating, so are your gut, your kidneys, and all your organs. Though the brain, whatever set amount of neurons (lack of feeling cells that send and receive electric signals throughout the body) you were born using is what you have throughout your life. So if the actual brain is incapable of regenerating itself, is degeneration an unavoidable outcome as we age? Fortunately, the answer is, not really. Here is why. Neurological plasticity Neurons connect with the other and develop plasticity. Neural plasticity is the ability associated with neurons and its systems to change itself both structurally and functionally in response to development, new information, sensory stimulation, damage, or disorder. Neural plasticity is, therefore, crucial to development, cognition, recollection, and mobility. It was once believed that neural plasticity merely existed in young individuals and that once neural pathways were formed, they were arranged and could not be transformed. Modern brain research has today revealed that neurons continually rearrange themselves through the entire course of life. In reality, new connections can take shape at any point in life, enabling people to gain knowledge and pick up new skills even at an advanced age. However, as you age, your brain is still likely to degenerate unless you do something to alter the process. Factors behind Brain Degeneration 1. Poor neurodevelopment in certain regions of the brain Each person offers different regions of your brain which have greater connection or plasticity than additional regions. The more plasticity you've in a certain place, the better you are as well particular function manifested by the area. Your less plasticity, the much less capable. For example, once you were a kid so you tried to play sports. You were not coordinated and other kids made enjoyable of you. So you halted playing sports and you avoided sports when you grew up. Then the region that represents your vestibular generator system never got a possiblity to develop. As you get more mature, neurodegneration tends to show up first in areas that have less plasticity. If you are someone who did not have a very created motor coordinated muscular system because you never played out sports, you are very likely to have instability, vertigo, or dizziness as you age. Or maybe you were bad at math when you were in school, so that you avoided all mathematics while growing up. Therefore, the parietal, prefrontal, and substandard temporal regions from the brain will have less plasticity. As you get older, you may find you are no longer as good in remembering things or your grocery list. That is why in terms of the brain, the saying which "if you don't use it, you may lose it" is indeed very true. 2. Brain inflammation Inflammation in the brain is totally different from infection in the rest of the system. In the systemic defense system, there are suppressor cellular material that can shut down the actual immune response to control down the inflammatory course of action, the brain does not. Inside the brain, there are mainly neurons and glial cells. Glial cellular material support, protect, as well as nurture the neurons; they clear away metabolic debris such as the beta-amyloid plaques perfectly located at the brains of Alzheimer's disease patients. They are also the resident immune cellular material in the brain, but they don't have an off swap. Without intervention, when activated, they remain on, become hyper, along with cause chronic swelling in the brain. (Please read on to see ways to decrease brain inflammation.) Factors like upsetting brain and spinal cord injuries, ischemia stroke, infections, poisons, and autoimmunity activate the particular glial cells. This condition is frequently associated with a compromised blood-brain buffer, which is a finely woven mesh of specialized cellular material and blood vessels which keep foreign ingredients out of the brain. When this barrier is damaged, it becomes permeable or perhaps "leaky". This allows toxins and pathogens to enter the particular brain. It also allows swelling that originates elsewhere in the body to get into the brain and start the inflammation reaction there. Chronic brain inflammation reduces neuron plasticity and leads to degeneration. It shuts down wind turbine in the brain cells, resulting in mental fatigue, brain fog, and memory loss. It is also associated with numerous neurological along with psychiatric disorders, which include depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, Alzheimer's, as well as Parkinson's.

Top 5 Ways To Handle Brain Degeneration 1. Blood sugar stability Without doubt, blood sugar dysfunction may be the number one risk factor that devastates the brain. This includes getting prediabetic, diabetic, or hypoglycemic (minimal blood sugar). When a person eats too much carbohydrates, which turn into sweets in the blood, your body puts out more insulin to bring the blood sugar down. Too much blood insulin activates the glial tissues in the brain and causes substantial inflammation and stimulates the neurodegenerative process. Within hypoglycemics, there is an insulin spike too as the entire body attempts to bring down your blood sugar after a large carbohydrate meal. When the blood sugar drops lacking, the brain cannot acquire enough fuel. They become spacey, lightheaded, shaky, along with irritable. Hypoglycemics cannot proceed too long without eating. If you want to determine whether there is a blood sugar issue, basically ask yourself how you feel when you eat. The normal reply would be, I am not eager anymore. There should be no alternation in energy and function. Nonetheless, hypoglycemics will typically say, I feel so much greater, I feel I can perform again. I can feel. I am not hungry any more. That is a sign that they're dealing with a low blood sugar rollercoaster ride. Those who eat a meal and wish to take a rest, crave sugar, or need to have a coffee instantly are insulin proof people. They are for the prediabetic or diabetic facet. Scientists now think that chronic blood sugar instability play a huge role within the development of dementia and Alzheimer's disease, enough to the point that will some researchers are usually calling Alzheimer's "Type 3 diabetes" as a result of inflammatory blood sugar relationship. Hence, blood sugar balance is irrefutably the most important the answer to address when trying to improve brain function. In addition to managing your blood glucose through diet, many studies have shown that irregular fasting has a substantial impact on brain inflammation. This turns on an important course of action called autophagy, in which you get rid of the metabolic debris in the brain and you turn off your glial cells. The most common intermittent fasting schedule could be the 16/8 method which involves fasting for 16 several hours and restricting your day-to-day eating period to eight hours, say midday to 8 pm. 2. Initial of the brain The areas of the brain that you do not use may have less plasticity. Therefore, you will need to challenge your brain to avoid it from degenerating. In case you always have a hard time with math, get a mathematics app and start performing multiplication tables or perform math games which elementary school children do. If you are often questioned with people's faces or shapes, perform games like Tetris that you look at shapes and try to fit them in to different spots. Should you sway or get rid of your balance when you near your eyes while standing up with your feet collectively or on one feet, you get to do much more balance exercises. The secret is to keep all areas of your respective brain active and triggered. Watching TV is inactive and does absolutely nothing to help the brain. Instead, accomplish cognitive things like become familiar with a new language, enjoy Sudoku, or do word puzzles. Be an athlete, be a scholar, that is the way to preserve your own brain. 3. Physical activity Exercise advantages your brain in two techniques. One is biochemistry and yet another is plasticity. The types of exercise that raise your heartbeat change the neurochemistry in the brain. Larger heart rate equals more blood flow, more blood circulation, more growth components, and more brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF). Workout also causes neuronal branching, results in an opioid response, along with calms down infection. In short, exercise just keeps your neurons healthy. Physical activities that require more coordination enhance neuronal plasticity in those areas of the brain. For example, in case you ask a patient which has brain injury in the vestibular system (balance center) to do bicep waves while standing on a new BOSU (unstable surface), he/she may well feel totally exhausted prior to muscles get fatigued. The patient may think that he/she is so out of shape, but actually, it is that the main brain that has an issue. As a result, if you are someone who just runs, bikes, as well as swims, adding exercises that involve multiple flatlands will help develop the aspects of the brain that are responsible for dexterity and balance, which can be essential as you get older. 4. Sleep Your brain cannot function in a sleep-deprived express. Your brain cannot part. It  cannot develop plasticity and it cannot get rid of particles when it is in a sleep-deprived point out. Studies clearly show that when people do not get adequate sleep, over time, the particular brain volume decreases in dimensions. So for whatever reason you're not getting enough high quality sleep, be it repeated nighttime urination, too much stimulation from the blue light generated by simply electronic devices, hormonal instability, or low blood glucose levels causing you to wake up, you should address the problem. Normally, without good sleep, there is no chance that your brain could work well. 5. Nutrients along with supplements The number one nutritious for turning lower neuroinflammation is short-chain fatty acids (SCFAs). The 3 primary SCFAs critical to wellness are butyrate, propionate, and acetate. SCFAs are built by gut microorganisms from the digestion as well as fermentation of dietary fibers. SCFAs can modulate neuroinflammation because the gut and the brain are usually intimately connected by the vagus nerve, which is the highway through which signals from hormones, neuropeptides, and microorganisms travel back and forth. Throughout studies, SCFAs have been implicated in several neuropsychiatric disorders, from Parkinson's to autism. These people were found to have a lower abundance of SCFA-producing bacteria in their gut as compared to healthy individuals. Forms of fiber that advertise the production of SCFAs in the intestine Inulin found in green bananas, rye, barley, sprouted wheat, Jerusalem artichoke, don't forget your asparagus, and onions. Pectin present in peaches, apples, grapefruits, grapefruit, apricots, peas, tomatoes, potatoes, and peas. Fructooligosaccharides (FOS) found in Jerusalem artichoke, green apples, garlic, asparagus, leeks, yellow onion, and chicory root. Resilient starch found in natural bananas, plantains, cooked along with cooled rice, carrots, and legumes. Arabinoxylan found in wheat bran. Dealing with Brain Degeneration As You Age Apart from eating foods that are rich in these fibers, you can also make use of fiber supplements. They're called prebiotics or prebiotic materials because the good microorganisms (probiotics) in the gut prey on them to produce SCFAs. Foods that contain SCFAs Butter and ghee. There are also butyrate (or butyr acid) dietary supplements available. Individuals with severe brain inflammation should consider employing both prebiotics and butyrate. Health supplements that reduce brain inflammation Omega-3 fish oil Resveratrol a polyphenol found in the skin of red grapes. It can cross the blood-brain barrier to help reduce brain inflammation. Turmeric/curcumin any spice commonly present in curry powder. It can also mix the blood-brain barrier. Liposomal fluid curcumin has 4-8 times more absorption than the powdered ingredients form, which is tougher to absorb. Pomegranate extract Carol Chuang is a Certified Nutrition Specialist. She has a Experts degree in Diet and is a Certified Gluten Specialist. She specializes in Metabolism Typing and Functional Diagnostic Nutrition. For more information about cach dieu tri benh thoai hoa nao resource: read more.

[guthealthdiet]

Leaky Gut and Your Chronic Health Symptoms and Conditions - Back to the Basics

1 thing is for sure, every one would like to stay healthy. However there are huge numbers of people experiencing Leaky Gut and the huge majority does not even understand it. Therefore what do you do for the stomach health?

To start with, let us get 1 thing right. Your human body has dropped out of balance. Therefore it just makes sense that in the event that you would like to eliminate your symptoms anything they are, you also need to bring the system back in balance. Bring the body back to balance and disorder, symptoms, ailments, and also even Leaky Gut only can't exist. It's as easy as that!

 If you're searching for the ultimate goal, you wont think it is at the kind of a tablet computer. When coping with Leaky Gut, then you need to begin with re building the base Leaky Gut Diet Food List.

 There really are a couple factors in life which we do a lot more than"eat". Due to the fact people get whatever we will need to survive out of our food, it's simple to find that nourishment and diet have a substantial influence on the wellbeing.

 Together with Leaky Gutyour gastrointestinal tract is already diminished rendering it harder to find the essential nutrients from the foods that you eat. As a result of it, you want to concentrate much harder on obtaining the most nourishment and nutrient dense foods in the human entire body. This can allow you to get the nourishment potential and supply you with the blocks for the healing. 

This is the reason an eating plan focused on wholefoods such as organic vegetables, meats, and vegetables is most beneficial. They have been far more nutrient dense compared to the processed and conventional food counter parts. That means you could well be paying only a little more but you are getting more bang for the dollar! 

Lifestyle

 We always need to make decisions and manage the results. There's not any escaping it. Nevertheless, the actual difficulty here's your worries that you suffer from making these decisions.

 There really are a whole lot of stress factors which subscribe to Leaky Gut. Stress may even bring your capacity to heal and repair the own body into a screeching stop.

 Therefore, in the event that you'd like to heal your Leaky Gut, then it's ideal to reduce stress just as far as feasible. Make a checklist of your primary sources of stress and focus with the sources you have control over. You might well not have the ability to alter your deadlines on the job, however you are definitely able to quit arguing with your partner about matters that on average don't have any genuine significance at the very first location.

 Let's put something right. Supplements are supposed to increase, perhaps not compensate for a deficiency. Therefore just after you perform your own role with all the nutrition and life style elements of health if you consider using supplements.

 So far as your Leaky Gut can be involved, supplements is going to do little in the event that you never create the base which may allow them to perform their position.

 However, should create the suitable base for the lawn, those supplements may help water so it can increase its true capacity.

[ms-camucia]

"That lightsaber. It belongs to me." Why Maz Kanata Knows Some Shit Regarding Ben Solo

It’s why her eyes are so big. They’re full of secrets.

So, I haven't written any meta since... Well, roughly 2004, and it wasn't called 'meta' back then on 'ol Leaky Cauldron, it was just fan theories. So I apologize if I'm rusty, and if someone has postulated on this previously.

Basically, I have two theories I want to lay out here:

-Ben Solo was the one to find the Skywalker lightsaber -Rather than keep it, he entrusted it, along with some other possessions, with Maz Kanata

Oh Maz, you hoarder.

Timeline wise, this is a little sketchy, especially since we don't have too much canon to work from. We know that, in 28 ABY (Bloodline), it had been a little while since Leia had heard from Luke or Ben, but she didn't seem too concerned, so presumably it hasn’t been overly-long. By the time we see Kylo Ren in TFA, he's obviously been in the First Order for a bit, but for fewer than 6 years, since TFA is in 34 ABY.

My thought is that Ben found the lightsaber at some undefinable point - it may not even be important when - just that he found it, and kept it safe. He could have found it back in the Jedi school days, keeping it hidden, or he could have found it post-Luke's Jedi School Fiasco, but pre-Snoke.

Either way, Ben didn’t immediately go to Snoke after the Luke Incident. 

“When I get out of here, I’m going straight to the creepy man who’s been in my head since I was an infant!” said no one ever.

Just logistically, unless Snoke was there in the goddamn First Order minivan, ready to pick up Ben after Jedi School was left in a burning ruin, there's some time between the massacre and Ben Solo becoming Kylo Ren. In a period I'm roughly defining as "The Jedi Killer," since this follows early concept art of a Kylo-like figure who hunted down any artifacts having to do with the Jedi, Ben Solo has some time that's completely unaccounted for. 

“There’s some slight boxing around the edges, but it’ll sell as new.”

That's where Maz, and the "Good Story For Another Time" comes in.

So, let's try to establish that unaccounted for time.

Ben Solo, in his eyes, just had his uncle try to murder him. Something goes down, such that six students die, and six go with him. These kids - yes, he’s 23 and presumably just murdered some people, but if Luke called him a “frightened boy,” he’s a kid - are scared, confused, and looking for answers. But let's say they don't just hightail it to the First Order and find Snoke, because that would be ridiculous, no matter how much Snoke has been in Ben's head - the First Order is something that only exists in whispers by 28 ABY, and Snoke wasn’t there from the beginning. 

These kids want answers about the Force that they couldn't find with Luke - so they start looking. I'm already imagining some dark, Scooby-Doo/Indiana Jones mashup of the pre-Knights of Ren tracking down ancient Jedi and Sith temples and artifacts. They're successful - they find plenty of stuff, but very few answers.

Enter Maz Kanata.

This is the face of a woman who is already so done with this shit.

Maz has been established as someone with ties to Han, Chewie, and even Leia - in Forces of Destiny, it’s revealed that she's the one who gave Leia the Ubese disguise she uses in ROTJ. I think it's safe to say Maz Kanata is an Organa-Solo family friend, and most definitely someone a young Ben Solo would have met. As said by the woman herself, she knows the Force, and has clearly been around for a while. She's probably one of the first people Ben thinks to go to for help (especially if he's trying to delay the inevitable Snoke In The Head).

So Ben, and possibly the other students, go there, and she probably wheedles the entire Luke story out of a still-shellshocked Ben. Who knows - maybe he even confesses to her something about Snoke, knowing that she’s old enough to have a clue what’s going on with that guy (maybe she even sends him to Snoke, if he’s simply known as some “wise” Force-user. That’s a grim thought). Either way, Ben Solo is a man possessed at this point (possibly literally), and is just generally freaked out and on the run. Maz is old. She’s seen these eyes before.

And she’ll see them again.

(sidenote here - one can lift Finn’s dialogue with Rey at the end of this scene, and it would play out beautifully in IX with Ben/Rey if/when he leaves the First Order, and presumably tries to bail like his dad did in ANH. Maybe he even saves them in the Falcon. Poetry, rhyming, etc.)

This would be some Grade A ceramics right here.

ANYWAY, I get ahead of myself. So, we have:

Freaked out Ben Solo

Hoarding Jedi/Sith artifacts

Goes to Maz Kanata for answers

Spills his guts about absolutely everything

Maz agrees to keep his secrets - and his shit - before he runs

Like I theorized above, I think Maz is the last stop before Snoke. Maybe she tries to stop him, tells him to go home, but sees that this is the path he has to follow for right now. Ben would want to leave behind anything that could be seen as Jedi-ish before he goes to Snoke, and that would obviously include the Skywalker lightsaber, and anything else he had at this point. So he drops his Jedi stuff off with Maz.

Screenshot courtesy of me and Photoshop’s Highlights/Shadows.

I think what we’re seeing here is what was ditched. The lightsaber, maybe some Padawan clothes, what looks like a book or journal (see my fanfiction for my thoughts on Ben and writing things down), and some trinkets and bundles. Who knows if Ben told her where he was going, or if she already knew - either way, he’s on his way to become Kylo Ren. Someone will need to bring him back. Like the Lady of the Lake parallel that she is (someone else has made this connection, right?) Maz knew that, eventually, the right time and person would come for the saber, and maybe bring back Ben Solo - and thus enters Rey. 

“Ben.”

Maz basically has this girl’s number from the get-go - she immediately realizes her importance, tries to get her to leave her past behind by telling her what Rey herself wouldn’t believe until it came from Kylo/Ben, and attmepts to set her off on her hero’s journey. Of course, whether knowingly or not, what Maz actually does here is literally send her into Kylo/Ben’s arms.

Kylo shot first in the Great Thigh Grab war.

My final point I have to make here concerns the Starkiller lightsaber fight. Kylo has no reason to be able to immediately recognize the Skywalker lightsaber - it was last seen in canon attached to Luke’s severed hand, tumbling through Bespin’s ventilation system. Unless Luke spent his years as a teacher doing loving, technical drawings of the lightsaber (I mean, that’s what I do as an art teacher), there’s no reason for Ben to know it on sight unless he’s seen it before - and he knows that thing in a goddamn heartbeat.

But we all know what happens after this. Kylo goes from a completely unhinged madman possessed to making this face at the lightsaber in Rey’s hands.

Good lord, just compare this face to either of the ones above it. Boy is besotted.

And thus ends Kylo Ren’s focus on the lightsaber. To him, after this moment, the saber is Rey’s. 

He even puts it back in her damn hand.

Kylo/Ben doesn’t fight her for it again until TLJ, and even then, it’s less about the lightsaber and more about the million other things going on between the two of them in that moment. But that’s a good story for another time.

...And I’ve let what was originally a series of drunken screencaps I made at some point turn into an entirely-too-long meta. The last point I want to make is even a bit more meta - with the death of Carrie Fisher, we have lost our maternal figure in this trilogy. If JJ Abrams is a smart man, he is probably thanking his lucky stars that he set up Maz the way he did here, since someone will need to take up the position of the wise, older woman that helps bring everything back together.

If you’ve read this whole thing, congratulations. Sorry I went off on a bit of a rant, but this has been in the back of my mind for a while. Let me know if I’m completely off-base here.

[leakygutdiet3-blog]

a few Tips For Your Dripping Belly Diet

leaky gut treatment Don't realize what foodstuff you ought to be eating? With all of the eating habits information available there do you certainly not know who to listen closely to? Have you been trying for you to eat healthy but nonetheless enduring with Leaky Gut Malady?

leaky gut treatment

There is a 00% chance you are in will need of a full improve in your leaky gut diet plan.

My goal is to give you the particular help you need to help explain to you what you must and should not end up being having. It doesn't also matter if you want to go away to eat or maintain your kitchen. I desire to offer you 5 awesome tips for your own personal leaking gut diet you can set to work for anyone immediately to acquire some properly needed respite from your signs or symptoms.

1. Take in Only Complete Foods

Together with leaky stomach, you should be feeding on predominantly fresh meats and also vegetables. Fresh fruits, insane, along with seeds, and nominal spore should be applied sparingly. However you must feed on some good quality animal health proteins. Packaged in addition to processed meals are full of bad filler injections and chemicals, a lot of of which may be triggering your indicators so the idea should go without telling stay away from all these entirely.

2 . not Fine Track Food Ratios

Sadly, we all don't all reveal typically the same DNA and since of the our diets usually are meant to be diverse. Many are meant to consume more proteins while several are meant to take in a lot more carbs. Others carry out better by simply balancing often the two. Your goal must be to determine what works very best for you along with your human body. It really isn't that will difficult. You can check this by means of trying in order to eat using the two two extremes. Eat a high top quality food of mostly dog necessary protein with a aspect of greens. How does that make you experience? Down the road, do the very same experiment apart from eat generally veggies, a lot of meat as well as possible embryon. How have that make you truly feel? No matter which one worked far better for you, adhere to it and also then fine tune your personal diet after that. Once you actually have found your ideal ratios and are sense very good, then you need to stick with individuals percentages for all of your own meals.

a few. Avoid Frequent Food Allergy symptoms at almost all Costs

If you get leaky belly then a person have food contact allergies. Anyone can't have one with no the various other and that is where almost all remedy fails. You need to be able to ensure that you avoid any foodstuff you happen to be allergic to thus that it would not generate an immune reply. We have seen it take place quite a few of time. People decide their food allergies along with cut these foods out there and the symptoms disappear. You actually want your current leaky tum diet to spotlight eliminating just about all of the common meal allergies to begin together with in order for your own personal intestinal lining to cure.

A) Gluten containing grain such as wheat, barley, in addition to rye B) Milk products like milk as well as cheese C) Soy goods such as Tofu and also lesser known vegetable necessary oil, dressings for salad, and others D) Processed glucose which will be found in almost just about any manufactured food

But this particular is a perfect start mainly because you most likely include many more food signs and symptoms as compared to these alone. That is quite often the food items you eat the nearly all that you simply develop allergies for you to. You could figure out these kind of allergies effortlessly if an individual know the right strategies.

several. Remove All the actual Cookies, Pastries, and different Baked Goods

These tend to be chalked full of dripping gut producing ingredients similar to processed flour and prepared sugar. Through a seem at the list previously mentioned, you will see these two plainly. Just think, they may have simply no nutritional value and as an alternative, rob nutrients from your personal body. Yet that won't mean you have to help experience dessertless for the particular rest of your existence. There are several healthy deserts anyone can appreciate.

5. Help to make the Change to Normal Sea Salt

Salt? When you look at almost any study showing the side effects of salt, then you actually might pointed out that they have been all performed while using very toxic and highly processed family table salt. So of course, this specific type of white dining room table deserving of should be averted at all costs, specifically on a leaky digestive tract diet regime. But there are usually plenty of healthy rewards to naturally occurring marine salt. To begin with, it includes many of the track mineral deposits that you system needs to perform in an everyday basis. And it also doesn't contain all people horrible and toxic anti-caking materials nor is the item bleached. When you are making use of Morton's or the including, toss it out QUICKLY. As an alternative, go with any New Zealand or perhaps Celtic Sea Salt. Natural marine salt should not be whitened in coloring. It really should contain a little little of colouring like green or greyish.

[woodsnaturopathy]

Key to Happiness & Wellness: The Mind Gut Connection

More and more as a Naturopath I observe conditions that share an interesting trait. Conditions such as Fibromyalgia (chronic pain and fatigue disorder) that incorporate dual synchronised aspects. On one had the condition impacts emotional state and the mental outlook one has on the world. And on the other hand the emotional state of the person and their mental outlook is one driver of the condition. Of course there are also physiological drivers for Fibromyalgia as well.

After having a history with Fibromyalgia myself I know first hand the experience of these aspects simultaneously, and how each can influence the other. And this is why Naturopathically, and holistically we work on the mind, body and spirit together to achieve wellness. 

The Mind Gut Connection

As we continue to learn, as a race scientifically, about the human body we increasingly discover more connections between the mental and physical. Gut health is one of those areas where science is catching up on what traditional healers have understood, and we are now discovering in detail how this connection exists. We know the health of the gut, and it's bacteria make up influence the mind, emotions and thoughts. And equally the mind, emotions and thoughts will influence the micro biome and function of the gut/digestion. 

How empowering it is when we realise that our bodies are a complex interplay of quantum energy and biology all synchronised beautifully, if not painfully at times. And to understand that our health relies upon ourselves, not our practitioners, the government, our genes, society, it is the energy we use ourselves that create our wellness. How exciting it is to understand that we have so much more to learn about the relationship of our minds and bodies. 

What is the Microbiome?

The microbiome is your individual ‘farm’ of good and bad bacteria, living in your digestive tract, a result of what was passed down to you from your mother, what has been planted, and what has been fed along the course of your life. The microbiome is the harmonious relationships of these bacterias (good and bad) and how they affect the growth/additions of other symbiotic bacterias.

The microbiome is essential to an effective yet balanced immune system, strong digestive function, healthy metabolism, optimal nutrient absorption, and positive cognitive and emotional wellbeing. 

Did you know our brains are actually influenced by the bacteria in the digestive tract? For example, bifidobacterium are capable of secreting large amounts of GABA; a neurotransmitter that supports relaxation and sleep. In addition, lactobacillus species of gut bacteria have been shown to influence GABA levels in certain brain regions. Together they can have a significant impact on our nervous system, stress responses, mood and sleep.

Poor vitamin status and an imbalanced microbiome affects many of our neurotransmitters (chemical messengers), reducing the way they bind to receptors, thereby altering the communication network in the body. What does this mean? One example is serotonin; our ‘happy’ neurotransmitter. Many of the serotonin receptors are located in the gut, so gut dysfunction (often resulting from poor nutrition/imbalanced microbiome) reduces the ability for serotonin to connect (bind) to these receptors. In this way, gut health has a direct impact on mood, and mood will then directly impact gut function. The vicious circle that is Irritable Bowel Syndrome. 

Animal studies have shown that induced states of dysbiosis (imbalance of bad bacteria to good bacteria in the gut) can promote anxiety behaviours and cognitive dysfunction. And on the other hand, we know that psychological stress itself can lead to dysbiosis. This relationship between the mind and the gut is so integral to our wellbeing, and involves a holistic approach via both the mental and physical.

How are Intolerances Significant?

This is a big topic, but I’ll use gluten as an example. For those sensitive to gluten, its intake can decrease blood flow to the frontal and prefrontal cortex of the brain effecting neruotransmitter levels, focus, stress management, organisation and short term memory. 

It’s true, not all people who avoid gluten are coeliacs, but some people who aren’t coeliac can still be intolerant. The intolerance of gluten can present in many ways, not always noticeable in gut symptoms. Many will experience increased inflammation, or mixed messages in the body that can lead to autoimmune flare ups, increased stress / anxiety, mental fogginess, headaches, and pain. The mind gut connection is strong and so heavily influenced by the food we eat. 

What Else Can Alter Our Microbiome? 

Water/hydration

Nutritional status

Environmental toxins, including heavy metals

Stress, Anxiety, Depression

Medications and antibiotics

Drugs, Alcohol, Food Additives, Preservatives, ingested toxins

Lack of movement and exercise

Lack of sunlight

Inflammation

In establishing a healthy lifestyle, some questions come to mind…..

What impacts the food choices you make? Or the length of time you spend on a wellbeing initiative?

What causes you to stumble along the way, to give up on a fitness program?

What raises your stress levels, causing your body to burn through extra amounts of essential nutrients?

What causes your uneasy emotions, that all but debilitate your digestive processes?

What causes you to crave certain foods?

Stress is one of the most prominent aggravators on health in current society. Taking control of your thoughts is a huge step in, not only reducing stress, but establishing and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

My advice is to listen. Tune in to you, and truly listen. Your body is communicating all the time with your mind in so many ways (and vice versa). Once you hear what is being conveyed in these messages you can correct make empowered changes to your internal dialogue. If you are being hard on yourself, replace that dialogue with things like: “I am worthy”. “Let it go”. “I’m loved”. “I am successful”. And many more which you know you need to hear. 

And remember if you are embarking on a wellness journey, it all starts in the mind and gut. Equally, what you are thinking will impact your success, and the health of your gut will impact your thoughts and abilities. Any factors that impact the gut such as parasites, yeast, dysbiosis, leaky gut, IBS, diet simply must be addressed in order to achieve success.

And lastly, please consciously feed your microbiome! The good bacteria in your tummy does not eat processed foods. It only eats fibre, pre-biotics, fermented foods, natural, nutritional foods that are all too scarce in the modern diet. If you’re not feeling full, you need to ask yourself, have you fed your microbiome the right food? It may still be starving! If, at every meal, you are feeding your microbiome, you will be moving ahead towards wellness in leaps and bounds.

Hopefully in some ways this has been helpful. Natural health practitioners see you holistically and treat accordingly. For more information on how Naturopathy can work for you, email me at woodsnaturoapthy@gmail.com  

[paleorecipecookbook]

A Nutritionists Answers Your Top 10 Questions About Autoimmunity

Chances are that you know someone with an autoimmune condition, or perhaps you’re one of the estimated 20 percent of the population affected by autoimmunity. (1) By the young age of 30, I had been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, alopecia areata, autoimmune hypothyroidism, and eczema…all autoimmune diseases. I was told I’d need lifelong medications to control my symptoms, but I wasn’t willing to accept drugs as a solution, so I started doing some research.

I went back to school and obtained my Master of Science in Human Nutrition, writing my master’s thesis on the connection between diet and autoimmune disease, citing research that’s based in antiquity, yet unknown by most doctors today. What I learned is that all autoimmune disorders are intimately connected to gut health. Moreover, the gut/disease connection has been known for over 2,000 years! As the father of modern medicine (Hippocrates) said all those years ago: “All disease begins in the gut.”

Using what I learned, I changed my diet (abandoning nearly 25 years of vegetarianism) and went Paleo. The results were undeniable, and nearly a decade later I’ve been able to keep my autoimmune conditions in remission by using the wisdom of Hippocrates: “Let food be thy medicine, and medicine be thy food.”

Top 10 Questions About Autoimmune Disease

As a clinical nutritionist at PaleoPlan, I have the pleasure of helping thousands of people across the globe to also reverse their autoimmune conditions by modifying diet and lifestyle. Here are the most common questions I’m asked about autoimmune disease.

1. What is autoimmunity?

Stated simply, autoimmunity happens when the immune system gets confused and turns against us. Normally, the immune system keeps us healthy by attacking anything foreign that gains access into the body. When you catch a cold, your immune system produces antibodies and inflammation to destroy the infection. In autoimmunity, this immune response won’t turn off, which results in the production of chronic (long-term) inflammation and the destruction of healthy tissues. If left unchecked, it can cause serious damage, and even death.

2. How common is autoimmunity?

Autoimmune diseases are extremely common these days. When considered collectively, they are the most common diseases in the United States—and possibly worldwide. (2, 3) Some clinicians speculate that nearly everyone has some degree of autoimmune activity occurring in their body. Women are affected much more than men (likely due to hormones) and make up more than 75 percent of all autoimmune cases. (4)

3. How many different autoimmune diseases are there?

To date, nearly 100 different autoimmune diseases have been identified and theoretically, an endless number could exist because the immune system can attack virtually any part of the body. All autoimmune diseases involve an overactive immune system attacking healthy tissue, and what distinguishes them is the part of the body currently under attack.

For example, rheumatoid arthritis happens when the immune system attacks the joints. Hashimoto’s and other autoimmune thyroid conditions are the result of damage to the thyroid gland. Lupus is when your body’s organs are the victim. Psoriasis and eczema occur when your immune system attacks your skin. Multiple sclerosis is when the myelin sheath surrounding nerves is the target, and type 1 diabetes results from an autoimmune attack of the pancreas. While these conditions are very different in their outward manifestations, they share a common root cause: an immune system that won’t turn off. The resulting chronic inflammation is a key characteristic of all autoimmune disorders.

4. Can you have more than one autoimmune disease?

It’s very common to have more than one autoimmune disease, and they tend to occur in clusters and also run in families. (5) When the immune system is revved up and producing inflammation and antibodies, virtually any and all healthy tissues can fall under attack. In many cases, the first sign of autoimmunity is a malfunctioning thyroid. (6)

5. What causes autoimmune disease? Is there a cure?

The medical community is in conflict about what causes autoimmunity to develop. A number of different theories exist, and while researchers don’t agree on the exact details, they all share the belief that something from the environment is triggering these conditions. (7) This external trigger could be a virus, bacteria, another pathogen, a toxin, or something we ingest that gains access to our body by leaking through the gut wall.

Many people are told autoimmunity is genetic and other than medications, there isn’t much that can be done about it. A more integrative approach to medicine would argue that while autoimmunity is indeed influenced by our genes, it’s possible to turn these genes “off” so they are not actively expressing disease.

A new theory set forth by Dr. Alessio Fasano suggests a trio of triggers must be simultaneously present in order for autoimmune disease to be active, and if any one of these triggers is removed, it will go into remission. (8) This trio of triggers includes:

a genetic predisposition to autoimmune disease

a leaky gut

one or more triggers causing the leaky gut

While we can’t remove genetic predisposition, we can turn these genes off by addressing the other two factors of the trio, which boil down to healing leaky gut. While there is technically no “cure” for autoimmune disease, many people have achieved remission simply by restoring their gut health.

6. How does a leaky gut trigger autoimmunity?

The gut lining is only ONE single cell layer thick, designed to allow the passage of nutrients while preventing the entrance of toxins. Nature put 80 percent of our immune system beneath the gut wall to protect us from any “bad guys” that manage to sneak through the gut and into the body.

During leaky gut syndrome, tiny holes develop in the gut lining and stuff enters your body that shouldn’t be there (like bad bacteria, undigested food particles, toxins, etc.) In response, the immune system produces inflammation to combat these foreign invaders. If the leaky gut never heals, inflammation can become chronic (long term) and cause widespread tissue destruction. This chronic inflammation also flips on the gene switch for autoimmunity, causing the disease to express itself in a vicious cycle. To achieve remission, we must turn off the genes and the inflammatory response by healing the leaky gut.

7. What causes leaky gut (and subsequently, autoimmunity)?

Two main triggers have been shown to produce leaky gut in everyone (not just people with autoimmunity): (9)

Gluten and similar proteins found in grains and beans (and nuts and seeds to a lesser extent)

Dysbiosis (imbalanced gut microflora)

Our collective gut health has been on a steady decline since the mid-1900s due to the increased consumption of refined and processed foods, grains, polyunsaturated vegetable oils, and carbohydrates, coupled with a decrease in saturated fats, fermented foods, food variety, and nutrient density. (10) By returning to an ancestral diet (how people ate only a few generations ago), the gut can heal, which disengages the immune system and stops the autoimmune attack.

8. Can Paleo reverse autoimmunity?

The Paleo diet naturally excludes the main triggers of leaky gut (grains, beans, common food allergens like dairy, refined and processed foods, excess carbohydrates, etc.), while including a higher percentage of healing fats and fibers. Paleo is beneficial for many autoimmune patients who often start experiencing relief from their symptoms within days or weeks. Depending on the severity, it can take longer, and some people need to take things a step further to fully heal their gut and reverse autoimmunity.

9. What is the AIP (Autoimmune Protocol)?

The Autoimmune Protocol (AIP) is a stricter form of Paleo that removes other potential gut irritants like nightshades, egg whites, nuts, seeds, and more. The AIP also encourages the consumption of bone broth, collagen, fermented foods, and other gut restorative measures.

People often wonder if they have to follow the AIP forever to keep autoimmunity in remission. Because the AIP restricts so many foods, it’s not ideal (and often unnecessary) to remain on it long term. When someone is new to Paleo, I recommend starting with strict Paleo for at least six weeks to allow for more variety and a gradual detox period. Paleo alone can do wonders to reverse autoimmunity and several other chronic conditions. If you’re still having symptoms after six weeks, then consider following the AIP for up to a year. Some people benefit more by following a GAPS/SCD approach to healing the gut, whereas others end up needing herbal antibiotics or probiotic support to treat underlying infections, or nutrient supplementation to correct underlying deficiencies.

10. Does anything other than diet trigger autoimmunity?

Other factors, such as stress, alcohol, medications including NSAIDs, infections, and other stressors can also influence gut permeability and instigate autoimmunity (although diet seems to play the biggest role for most people). We call Paleo a “lifestyle” rather than a “diet” because of its holistic approach addressing all of the essential lifestyle factors necessary for achieving optimal health.

The Bottom Line

If you suffer from an autoimmune disease, please know that there is hope! Many people achieve and maintain remission from their autoimmune (and other) chronic conditions simply by following an ancestral way of living and eating, and tending to the health of their gut.

Need help fixing your gut to reverse autoimmunity and other chronic conditions?

Ready to rid your body of inflammation so you can look and feel your very best?

If you’d like help hacking your health, I’d love to help you out! My guided 30-Day Paleo Challenge starts soon—click the link below for more details and I hope to see you there:

Join the 30-Day Paleo Challenge HERE

In good health,

Kinsey Jackson, MS, CNS®

PaleoPlan Nutritionist

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