#Lauren Roberts wants to kill me I swear

[sweetreveriee]

MALAKAI AZER.

[yourlegacysnotyourstosee]

I took notes on my thoughts while watching Nerdy Prudes Must Die because I did the same for Black Friday

DAMN Jon said “I am a TENOR”

I literally can’t get over how good he sounds

AHHHHHH LAUREN!!!!!

Bro these songs SLAP

Damn Mariahs hair is so long

Pete is such a mood

I’m literally terrified of being pantsed so bad

BRUH NOT MICRO-PETER

Omg hey Kim

When Cory enthusiastically agrees I’m dying

Omg Max likes Grace???????

Wait that’s so cute

Wait why’s he kinda fine

“His name is Jesus Christ” HELP 💀💀💀💀💀

It’s giving Apex Predator (from Mean Girls)

Damn these HARMONIES THO

My jaw is on the floor the way Cory is talking to her

“How am I supposed to study without listening to Spotify?” ME LMFAO

I KNOW HE DID NOT JUST MAKE AN ISSAC NEWTON JOKE

The way hes like “this is about thermodynamics” me me me. I hate when people make jokes about the things we’re not even talking about.

“NANI” NO WAY HE SAID THAT HELP💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀I LITERALLY CANNOT BREATHE 💀💀💀💀💀💀

Study date????????

Joey Richter my beloved ❤️❤️❤️

When Max enters and the crowd cheers

“Rondevuch”

Max literally has a God complex

Why is Kim everyones mom?

“Walen place”?????

“Mom will you pass the butt stuff????” HELP SHES BEEN CORRUPTED

NO WAY SHES FANTASIZING ABOUT MAX JAGERMAN

LITERALLY WHAT

Awwww Grace is experiencing Catholic Guilt™ ❤️❤️❤️

Girl wdym “he’s gotta go”???

Laurens character is bisexual???????

“WAIFU MATERIAL”?????? I literally can’t get over Jons character

Wait Grace is a little fucked up actually

Wait since the Waylons built hatchetfield high and the starlight theater, could they have cursed the town somehow? Like I know about the evil brothers or whatever, but I’m not super familiar with the lore

Wait I kind of love Grace now

Mariah slays

“Am I reading as Ghost, or Lin Manuel Miranda?” AWWWWWW❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

“Your fucking useless Pete.” Tgwdlm???? In MY npmd???? It’s more likely than you think

I’m very suspicious about how fast they seemed to put the plan together…

I know the plan wont work and Im so nervous I’m getting secondhand embarrassment so bad rn

“Skele-ens”

I need Max Jagerman actually

Awwww Max is a Theater Kid ❤️❤️❤️

AW FUCK HE DIED

HOLY FUCK HE DIED

GIRL WTF IS WRONG WITH GRACE

I love how upbeat this song is

WHYD SHE CUT HIS NIPPLES OFF WTF

Omg Dan and Donna!

Slay Mayor Lauter

His reaction to being asked to the game is giving- “she asked me for the time” “no way” “way :D”

THE NIGHTHAWKS MASCOT 💀💀💀💀

FUCK CLIVESDALE

DAMN THEYRE IN THE SPLITS GOOD FOR THEM

I like that the football team has only 2 players

I love when actors walk through the audience, but ESPECIALLY here when hes stalking Richie bro looks so good

Listen I know he’s about to kill Richie but HES SO FINE HELP

Im literally so Gay bro

THE SMOKE CLUB!!!!!!

THE NIGHTMARE TIME THEME

When she says hes not hot anymore girl speak for yoursef

Please let Grace swear

Oh fuck they’re giving themselves away

Grace Chastity said “acab”

Cory needs more songs

MAN IN A HURRY RETURNS!!!!!

Damn who is this girl in a trenchcoat 😍😍😍

GERALD OH MY GOD

Random side note but what happened to Robert? I was just thinking about how I wish we could see Hidgens again but is Robert still a part of Starkid anymore? Is he on to Bigger and Better things? Does anyone know what those are? I’d love to continue to support him.

Edit: NVM NVM I TAKE IT BACK I DO NOT WANT TO SUPPORT ROBERT MANION NO NO NO SIR

The invisible bird. Literally high school theater

“Heahs the thang about ah bahbecue”

“Ah wawna remember who ah ayum”

Ruth is so real for not know when to do the lights bc the cue lines were wrong

Ugh Laurens voice is so good and I know ive said that about pretty much everyone but it’s true

I know shes about to die rn

The red lighting gave it away

THE WAY HE LOOKS INTO CAMERA AFTER HE KILLS HER I NEED HIM SO BAD

Why did Kim scream like that

Awww Grace has religious trauma now ❤️❤️❤️

THE COPS THEME

OH MY GOD PAUL AND EMMA!!!!!!!!!

He gave her his number❤️❤️❤️

Hot chocolate boy!!!!!!!! I knew Peter was the hot chocolate boy but still

This duet is EVERYTHING

Obsessed with the fact he called MARIAH ROSE FAITH a MEAN GIRL

“Axe wielding maniacs?”

The Waylons did not dig that shit very deep…

OH FUCK THEY HAVE TO SUMMIN THE LORDS IN BLACK

I KNEW THE WAYLONS BUILT LAKESIDE MALL

im so sorry Zombie Max is So Fine

WIGGLY

THEY HAVE HUMAN FORMS??????

“Let me check my Christmas list”

“What do you want steph?” MORE tgwdlm? In MY npmd?

I feel bad for not knowing all their names

Max says bitch a lot

Damn this show is long

Omg this is so sad im tearing up a lil

Max is so fucking funny

Damn Grace is seducing Max this is hilarious

Fuck Grace Chastity or kill some nerds? One of the many difficult decisions in life

He decides to fuck Grace Chastity

OH MY GOD THATS SO SMART

Thats some fuckin Macbeth level shit

Kims teacher character is so cute awwwww

Paul and Bill dance Chaperones??????

Oh nvm that’s Jason

I don’t think I ever mentioned it but the dancing is really good

It’s very clean and crisp

In the last 2 hours I very quickly developed a massive crush on Will Branner

OH FUCK

WHATS GOING ON

WHAT

[my-romance-library]

'Powerless' (The Powerless Trilogy #1) - Lauren Roberts

She is the very thing he’s spent his whole life hunting.

He is the very thing she’s spent her whole life pretending to be.

Only the extraordinary belong in the kingdom of Ilya—the exceptional, the empowered, the Elites. The powers these Elites have possessed for decades were graciously gifted to them by the Plague, though not all were fortunate enough to both survive the sickness and reap the reward. Those born Ordinary are just that—ordinary.

And when the king decreed that all Ordinaries be banished in order to preserve his Elite society, lacking an ability suddenly became a crime—making Paedyn Gray a felon by fate and a thief by necessity.

Surviving in the slums as an Ordinary is no simple task, and Paedyn knows this better than most. Having been trained by her father to be overly observant since she was a child, Paedyn poses as a Psychic in the crowded city, blending in with the Elites as best she can in order to stay alive and out of trouble. Easier said than done.

When Paeydn unsuspectingly saves one of Ilyas princes, she finds herself thrown into the Purging Trials. The brutal competition exists to showcase the Elites’ powers—the very thing Paedyn lacks. If the Trials and the opponents within them don’t kill her, the prince she’s fighting feelings for certainly will if he discovers what she is—completely Ordinary.

“I meant what I said. I can’t take my eyes off you. I can’t take my mind off you.”

I look away from his burning gaze, shaking my head as I mutter, “Kai, I—”

“Paedyn.”

I still. I shiver. He says my name like it’s sacred, like it’s an oath he’s swearing.

He tilts his head to the side, eyes roaming over my face. “Tell me,” he murmurs, “what do you want me to call you?”

My eyes slowly meet his, confused by his question. “What do you want to call me?”

“I want to call you mine.”

[melchron]

Nightmare Time Episode 2 Thoughts

But first, my brain right after it ended:

No no no NO NO NOPE

Idc what Nick says this isn't canon

THIS WAS SO GOOD

AAAAAHHHH

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

*nervous laughter*

Occasional squeals for every emotion

Me texting my mom it traumatized me

Me scrolling through tumblr up until right before I started typing this

I LOVE THIS

I HATE THIS

I'M CONFUSED

WHAT THE HECK JUST HAPPENED

Ok thoughts now:

MARIAH AND ROBERT DUET!!!

Rob in a turtleneck had me concerned for a second

They sound amazing

These are the cutest vows

HIDGENS IS OFFICIATING? Wait that means he's legally a wedding officiant. Why is he a wedding officiant? What made him want to do this?

TED SHUT UP

BILL IS THERE

Is MIAH someone's friend or relative? I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHO!

So we have Emma droid and Paul clone know huh. I feel so bad for real Emma. Wait does she know Jane is dead? OH NO DROID TOOK HER PHONE WHEN TOM CALLED SO PROBABLY NOT! SHE REALLY SHOULD HAVE STAYED IN GUATEMALA!

Paul where did your brain cells go? Emma told you there is someone else out there that looks exactly like her and she stole the life of. I know she said other girl died but you didn't even consider the possibility? It took you seeing them together for you to get it. Paul I love you but you stupid.

Good job to the citizens of Hatchetfield for making sure real Emma was ok. Good job respecting women.

EMMA WHY ARE YOU SELLING YOUR DNA?!??! THERE ARE OTHER WAYS TO MAKE MONEY SWEETIE!

OMG PAUL CALLED EMMA PET NAMES

Dang they are getting so much use out of Lauren's ring. Devin's video, Konk's proposal, and now this.

I now know that Dylan owns a beanie that says Daddy on it. Idk what to do with this information.

Lauren Lopez is an amazing actress! How do you play two characters that are essentially the same and also interact with each other and have it be this amazing?!?!? It makes no sense.

ALSO Jon did such a good job! Paul loved Emma so much and Jon made me believe it.

I believe 23 loves Emma just as much as 22 did.

Are they only cloning Paul? It seems weird to just choose him. Maybe others are getting cloned too. What if we have multiple Ted's because of time travel but we also had others that were clones!

Why did they continue to make clones? What was wrong with the first 22?

DROID EMMA CARES ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT I LOVE HER

Kim's voice is so angelic

Nick, Matt, can you please stop making me like Ted?

Ted is a jerk and a creep but he doesn't deserve all this

SPANKOVSKY

HIDGENS AND CHAD IS CONFIRMED

BILL HAS A NEW GIRLFRIEND!??!?!! I'M SO HAPPY FOR HIM!!! SYLVIA SEEMS NICE! I HOPE ALICE LIKES HER!! BILL DESERVES TO BE HAPPY WITH SOMEONE!!

So Ted is a jerk as a defense mechanism? Ted I'm sorry you got hurt but this isn't it. What you need is help. Go to therapy.

Ted really considers Paul to be his best friend huh. Well know I feel bad that he wasn't invited.

Omg he looked to happy during his blackout dream. Why do I like this? Why do I like happy Ted?

JEFF'S VOICE OMG THAT IS TERRIFYING

Really random but I wish my school made Rubik's Cubes

And Paul asked him to be a pal! Don't play with his feelings like that Paul! Say that if you really mean it!

So in the future everyone is a android? WAIT Emma droid said she was from the future. How did she get to the past? Did future ccrp teach her how to use the office as a time machine?

Lol Robert's face when he's calling security. He's not even mouthing words

JEFF WITH THE VOICE FILTER IS TERRIFYING!!

Lol Robert and Jaime using their phones as laser guns. And Jaime's is barely showing up because of the green screen.

TED DON'T BEAT UP COLLEGE KIDS 15 YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU!! HE LOOKED SO HAPPY AND SWEET TOO! GREAT TED YOU JUST RUINED HIS LIFE AND NOW HE WANTS TO KILL YOU!

Ted why don't you just tell your younger self what to do? Remember, you didn't travel back into your younger self. You're the same as how you came. Meaning that all Jenny will see is so gross pedo man trying to hit on her.

Jenny calling him Teddy is so cute

Ted is an idiot. Of course she doesn't want some horny jerk. Expect better of your friend. Also don't grab people when they're trying to get away from you. Especially not GIRLS 15 YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU!!

Jenny deserves better. We just met her and she's Spiderman-ing.

STOP MAKING MY FAVES TED!!! Homeless man was sweet man who deserves the world that I would give my bank account to. You know what screw it. I like Ted know. There I said it. I LIKE TED! I simultaneously want to hug him and get a restraining order on him. Nick, Matt, Joey, you're all buttheads and I love you.

This- this doll isn't cute. Like you made these available to buy I would still get one but I don't like him. Tinky can stay far away from me.

Ted is such a good friend trying to warn Paul about his droid gf. PAUL GIVE HIM SPARE CHANGE!! I KNOW YOU HAVE IT!

AND THEN THEY KILL HIM!!!! TED GETS MURDERED BY SOMEONE HE CONSIDERED HIS BEST FRIEND!!!! JUST EXPLAIN TO HOMELESS MAN THAT YOU'RE COOL WITH YOUR DROID WIFE, MAKE HIM PROMISE NOT TO TELL, GIVE HIM SPARE CHANGE (not as a bribe), AND MOVE ON

Joey is absolutely amazing!! He made me like Ted. TED!!! Of all the characters! Also those quick changes. Just amazing!!! Gosh these guys are so friggin talented.

MATT DAHAN IS AMAZING!!! I WAS FEELING ALL THE FEELS AND THEN MUSIC WAS ALWAYS PERFECT!! I HEARD THE SHOW ME YOUR HANDS THEME GO OFF!!!

Matt and Nick I swear looked up every au trope and decided the weirdest ones to mix together. And I have no idea how but it works.

AND THEN IT ENDS ON A SONG ABOUT PEANUTS!!??!? NOT NOW I'M EMOTIONAL!! ALSO PRETTY SURE THIS IS THE FIRST JOEY AND LAUREN DUET SINCE GRANGER DANGER!! AND PEANUTS CAN TALK NOW!!??! SCREW THIS!! SCREW HATCHETFIELD I'M DONE!! LITERALLY ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN I CAN'T!!! MY BRAIN WILL DIE IF YOU KEEP THIS UP!!!

[dinglemingle]

Tonight (I Wish I Was Your Boy)

Chapter 5 

TW: Drug use + dealing TW: Vomit TW: Violence

This chapter contains explicit language.

Saturday mornings were not the time to be standing outside McDonald's whilst your dodgy mate dealed, but here Aaron was, freezing his arse off for a couple of quid.

To be honest, he'd hardly class Ross Barton as a mate, he'd only know him a few weeks, but he needed the money and Ross was more than happy to cut him in if he helped. A life of crime wasn't what Aaron had in store, but for the time being, it gave him enough money to not have to rely on his mum.

Relying on Chas was something you couldn't do, she'd make a promise then never see it through, or swear she only needed a fiver but somehow leave with twenty, which was of course never repaid. He did love his mum, and she tried her best, but her overbearing nature and mother knows best attitude could be a lot to handle sometimes.

He used to think he was the luckiest kid, to have Chas and Paddy, but by the time he'd hit 15 he realised how patronising they both were. Paddy had gotten worse in recent years, trying to manipulate him and overacting when he put the smallest foot out of line. Aaron knew he was just being protective, it didn't stop him from getting frustrated every time Paddy tried to control his life.

He still viewed Paddy as a father figure, still idolised him, he didn't think that would ever change, despite everything. Paddy had taken him in and loved him as his own, even now that Leo was here, he still made time. Add to that the fact that Paddy was the only one he'd spoken to about being gay

Aaron hadn't fully admitted it, not quite comfortable enough yet. He managed to confess his attraction to lads however and his curiosity. Paddy had been great, promised not to tell anyone and that he still loved him. Aaron didn't care, even telling one person had been too much, so they'd dropped the subject and never spoke of it again. Aaron preferred it that way, he didn't want all the attention that came with coming out or being the only gay in the village, still, he always noticed Paddy's watchful eye when he so much as looked at another boy

In a way, Paddy had helped him feel more comfortable, so he felt like he owed the man, couldn't write him off, no matter how pushy he could be. It was sort of an impossible situation, one he often kept at the back of his mind.

The thought however was interpreted when Ross emerged from the corner, cash in hand, grin up to his ears.

"There you are" he stuffed £40 into Aaron's hand and patted his shoulder

"Right so-" Aaron began, the ringing of Ross's Nokia cut him off

Ross retrieved the phone from his coat and gave Aaron the signal to wait

"Alright mate" Ross started

Aaron felt a bit useless, just stood there

"Outside Maccies mate, be there in a bit yeah" Ross continued, talking to the unknown source

He nodded a bit before finishing the call

"Right sound" he put the phone away and turned to Aaron

"Come on, we're picking up then dropping off" He spun back around and made his way towards the bus station, Aaron closely following behind

Bus journeys were usually calming for Aaron, not this one though, as Ross painfully made small talk, going on about which girls had the nicest tits and had Aaron got any recently? Of course, he had replied with "Yes Ross, in fact, it was your younger brother in a dingy wood."

The pick up had somehow been worse, a bunch of lads Aaron only knew from their bad reputations, who had somehow made friends with Ross in the five minutes he'd been in Yorkshire

Aaron didn't speak, just stood waiting for Ross to hurry up. He wasn't scared of the lads, but the knowledge that they'd batter him if they knew who he was made him feel uneasy

After what felt like 10 years Ross appeared from the kitchen, a shed load of drugs stashed in his coat

Soon they were back on the bus, this journey being silent, thank god, and at Tanya Holden's house

She opened the door with that sour-faced look that was glued to her like a bad stain. Her mega-rich parents were away for the weekend,so the beer bottles and bodies lying around weren't much of a surprise

"Ah babe why didn't you invite me" Ross signalled to the clear remnants of a party whilst trying to hug Tanya

"Piss off" was her response, as he pushed him away

Ross laughed and held his hands up, Aaron was still in the doorway, hating being there, feeling all the more awkward as Tanya had of course been one of the girls Ross deemed "shaggable" on the bus

She noticed his presence

"This one don't speak?" She questioned, reaching for her purse

Aaron's cheeks flushed

"Oh he's shy" Ross approached, pinching his pink cheeks

Aaron batted his hands away, rolling his eyes

Ross laughed again "soft lad"

Tanya had pulled out some money and was waving it in Ross' face

"The stuff?" she questioned

Ross didn't hesitate before producing a few bags

Coke, Aaron thought, to be honest, he didn't know, or maybe he just didn't care

Sometime between leaving Tanya's and getting the bus back to town, Ross had mentioned a party that night, he'd only been invited because he had drugs, and he thought Aaron might be up for it

Up for it wasn't how Aaron felt at all, but he appreciated the offer, and he'd grown tired of spending his Saturday's third-wheeling with Vic and Adam, so at half-past 8, he was in the back of a Vauxhall Corsa with Ross, on the way to god knows where, pockets stuffed with Ket

Midnight was fast approaching and Aaron was positively off his face. He hadn't gotten this high in a long time, preferring the odd joint over a full-on bender.

There was a time this would be his usual weekend activity, but he'd moved on from that crowd and away from nights spent in A&N with sick down his shirt.

At age 15 he'd had his stomach pumped 4 times and was already dealing and nicking anything he could find, an attempt to make a few quid quid so he could go and buy more drugs.

The life of crime had soon caught up with him, when he'd been battered by the McFarlanes for a deal gone wrong. It was after this that he packed it all in.

Yet here he was again, falling back into bad habits, stumbling through a crowd of drunk teenagers and a couple of blokes who looked way to old to be knocking back dark fruits with 16 year olds.

Before long he'd found himself in the bathroom of whoever the fucks house this was. Alone with his thoughts his mind began racing, Aaron couldn't decide if it was because of the substances or the blonde boy he hadn't seen in over two weeks.

Well, that was a lie, of course, it was, Aaron couldn't escape seeing Robert, he was constantly there, sauntering through the halls, or snogging Chrissie in the common room

But Aaron hadn't actually seen Robert, not properly. He hadn't seen him up at the farm, getting chastised by Jack, or on a night out, sat dazed in the toilets, rambling about bullshit whilst he scrolled through his phone.

He hadn't seen the cocky glint in his eye or the smug smirk. And it was bothering him

Ever since that day at the unused classroom it was like a switch had gone off in Robert. There were no snarky comments or digs coming Aaron's way anymore. He didn't want to get carried away but he could've sworn Robert was avoiding him.

Maybe he'd touched a nerve,he didn't know, and quite frankly he didn't care what the reason was,he was just pissed off.

Sure he didn't like Robert telling him to fuck off or taking the piss out of his cheap trainers, but this was awful

This, god this was so much worse.

The constant impenetrable silence, the complete of avoidance of each other everywhere they went,it was killing him. Aaron craved Roberts attention, he craved the rush of Robert calling his name or the way they'd bicker in the canteen.

Aaron hadn't realised just how much he relied on Robert to feel a buzz. Sure a part of him hated arguing with the prick,but these last few weeks he'd realised he absolutely loved it as well

At that moment, as he collapsed into an empty bathtub, ribs aching and vision blurred from aggressive strobe lights, Aaron realised he'd rather hate Robert for the rest of his life then never have anything with him at all

As if by some sick force of nature Robert Sugden himself stumbled into the bathroom,fly already down, beelining for the toilet before he wet himself and spoiled his new Ralph Lauren jeans

Aaron's eyes looked as the tall hazy blonde raced passed him and for a split second believed Robert himself was a god and that the heavens must be real

Others would say it was the ridiculously large number mushrooms he'd consumed earlier that evening

"What the fuck" Aaron's dreams of god's and angel's were disturbed by a visibly startled Robert,who was staring at him, jeans at the knees and white briefs protecting his modesty

Aaron would be lying if he said he didn't look, after all, he had to confirm if the rumours were true

"Fuck off Dingle!" Shit. There it was, just like that Aaron was sober, his eyes wide open as he realised that Robert really was there, in front of him and he desperately clambered out of the bath and through the door,which expectantly closed with a loud bang and a murmur of "for fucks sake" and "can't take a piss in peace"

Once back downstairs, though not really remembering how he'd got there, Aaron had headed straight for the kitchen for another drink, he didn't like this sudden sobriety, in a strange sort of way it left him feeling naked, vulnerable, unable to hide behind the mask of a drunk persona.

He'd downed a Budweiser,two dark fruits and done 4 vodka shots when he next saw Robert. The blonde was making his way into the living room from the garden, sweat glistening his forehead and quite clearly fucked out of his mind.

He stumbled in through the doors, leaving mud stains on a perfectly beige carpet, though at this point everyone was far too pissed to care and in true Robert fashion had gone flying into Brandon Keene, Hotten's biggest wanker, spilling his Stella (typical) all over his definitely underage girlfriend

Without a moment to spare, Robert was flying through a crowd of people and crash landing onto the couch, nose gushing with blood after being punched right in the face

Suddenly a crowd of drunken teens had formed and all began chanting fight! fight! fight!

Aaron rolled his eyes as Robert charged at Brandon, wrestling him to the floor

Aaron didn't even know why Brandon was there, he'd left college two years earlier and was known for being a nasty gobshite. Last Aaron heard he'd swanned off to Liverpool with a new modelling job. Obviously not

Within mere minutes a couple of punches had been thrown and the sweaty bodies around him had almost duplicated, Aaron decided it was too much hassle and too much noise and made the motion to leave.

Robert had other ideas,he'd looked up from being smacked by the twat on top of him and locked eyes with Aaron right as he decided to go.

Aaron couldn't quite pinpoint what it was in Robert's eyes. Fear? Anguish? Desperation? Whatever it was it saw Aaron pulling off Brandon with all of his might, and throwing him as far into the crowd as humanly possible

When he turned round Robert was already stood smugly in the centre of the living room like he hadn't just been beaten to a pulp

That's when the tidal wave of drugs, alcohol and the way Roberts nose had been rearranged from the rest of his face came over him and he threw up everywhere

The carpet was a mix of sweat, blood and tears quite literally,and now Aaron's sick

He'd never been bothered by blood and gore but the heat and the intensity of everything got that better of him and it was too late to do anything

He turned to see Robert stood there with his sick all over his shirt and shoes

Aaron felt like he'd be sick again. The music became all blurry and he vaguely caught snippets of the abuse Robert hurled his way

His fists were sweaty and his head was spinning he felt like he was losing control. The weight of the room collapsed on his shoulders as he saw the camera flashes and heard the sniggers. The air in his lungs vanished as he desperately pushed through the crowd, never having been so mortified on his life.

He'd escaped with Roberts voice echoing "you fucking freak" over and over and over again as he collapsed halfway down the street, hot tears brutally spilling from his red eyes. The night air hit him violently,he'd left his jacket somewhere in there

But he couldn't go back. No

He'd just thrown up on Robert. Fucking Robert. In Front of half of his college

Aaron physically felt his stomach churn,but not because he was going to be sick, but because he'd never felt so ashamed,so stupid, in that moment he wanted to disappear.

So he got up and ran through the streets,crying, humiliated,the cold air shaking him, and he didn't stop til he got to some random kebab shop in town, where he'd sat on the pavement,with no jacket,no money,only his dead phone and a trackie pocket full of shitty receipts for two hours before a stranger let him use their phone

And when at 1:27 am he'd buried himself in the passenger seat of his uncle Cain's car, no questions asked,he declared officially that he fucking hated Robert Sugden,but more importantly,

he hated himself.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aaron spent the weekend at Cain's, much to Chas' dismay but he really didn't care, he felt awful and he knew his mum would only pry

He'd charged his phone, but had avoided it all weekend for fear of seeing what people had said

It was at 1:44 am on Monday when he'd finally plucked up the courage to turn his phone on when he saw a text from a familiar yet distant number

Sorry,R

[gilibird]

literally just everything i wrote down while watching black friday

i swear ill make a cohesive post soon w/ my thoughts but uhhhh yeah

so story time i was gonna stay up until 1am to watch it but i’m an idiot and fell asleep so now it is 7am and i’m finally watching it

bruh the camera work in this is to die for

FOUR MINUTES IN AND WE GOT PAUL AND EMMA BOYS

me and my beanie baby addiction don’t appreciate paul’s comment thank you very much

“i wanted a salad but all i got was a baby”

DYLAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EMMA DID THE “okay okay OKAY” THING THAT PAUL DOES 🥺🥺

bill???? is. ok now i’m confused

ok but dylan >>>>>>>

i dont like all the death references uncle wiley is making 👀👀

“MY MOMS A BITCH”

ok i love robert but hes only got one glove on

AKajshdbdKAJSJDJDJJDRB LAUREN SJSJDJDHFNSNNS

this is the closest we’ve gotten to lauren as a villain and i fucking love it

jeff saying “it’s time to die”

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME JUST RIP MY HEART OUT LIKE THAT

WHAT THE FUCKCKCKKDJSJD BOTH ETHAN AND TOM??????

curt mega for president

also wtf just happened to linda

did DID CURT SAY “i’ll bite your nipple off” OR AM I DEAF AJSJDJD

“here’s ur keys jingle jangle”

QKKAJSJD LAUREN AS AN ELF

this is her second time playing an eLF SKSJDJHDNDR

i went into this show as blindly as possible and let me just say i did not expect robert to be playing santa with lauren and joey as HIS ELVES

this just in ive fallen in love with kim whalen

THIS IS PROB MY FAV SCENE SO FAR AKSJDHFH just, tom going DOWN on becky and then noels like “tell me something only santa would know”

so many stranger things crossovers

ALAKSJJSDH LAUREN AS A CULT LEADER

“horror comedy” my ass this is SAD

THE WAY THEY USED THE CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS ON THE RAILING AS WIGGLYS MOUTH UGH GENIUS

ok guys this is literally just stranger things at this point

also this show better get ppl to start appreciating curt mega bc I LOVE HIM SM

ALL THE TGWDLM REFERENCES KILL ME “WEAR A WATCH”

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN THEY CANT JUST END IT LIKE THAT

[be-more-chill-evan-hansen]

BLACK FRIDAY SPOILERS

The following post contains spoilers for the new musical, Black Friday, by Team Starkid. Continue reading at your own risk. 

MY FAVORITE PARTS FROM THE BLACK FRIDAY DIGITAL TICKET + OTHER COMMENTARY (IN ORDER OF HOW THEY APPEAR) WHILE WATCHING IT FOR THE 4TH OR 5TH TIME [contains very harsh and explicit language]

**These points will be brought up in another post (involving the Hatchetfield Universe theories)

The ENTIRETY of the Wiggly jingle at the beginning

Jaime saying “his belly’s so squishy!” while jumping up and down

The tights

“Uncle Wiley, where does Wiggly come from?”

James Tolbert (Team Starkid choreographer-turned-actor) STOLE the show

Curt Mega’s dancing in that song killed me

“DO THE WIGGLE!”

ROBERT AND JAMES DANCING WAS EVERYTHING

**Paul still doesn’t like musicals? (I have a theory of where this show takes place in the Hatchetfield Universe but that’s for another post)

The way Paul looks at Emma when she’s on her Cabbage Patch Kid rant!

“I’m Paul. I’m Emma’s...boyfriend.”//“Well, we haven’t put a label on it yet.”//“But we are intimate.” (Bonus: Emma’s glare)

Paul is still awkward I love him.

“I do not get flashbacks. I remember bad things vividly.”

“Thank you for your service.”//“I didn’t do it for you.”

“Ski-ball sucks.” (I wholeheartedly disagree but whatever)

Grace Chastity is Tom’s babysitter for Tim confirmed

Okay. Okay. Okay. OKAY. 

TOM JUST WANTS TO MAKE IT UP TO HIS SON BECAUSE HE FEELS GUILTY ABOUT THE CRASH I’M SOFT

DYLAN SAUNDERS STILL STEALING HEARTS

WHY DO YOU GIVE DYLAN ALL OF THE HEART-WRENCHING SONGS????? I DON’T NEED TO CRY AT 4AM

THE LIGHTING 

 “Excuse me, miss. Do you think it’s okay for me to park here?”//“Yeah, it says ‘no parking at any time’ but I’m sure the loading trucks can just park across the street. Does that work for you?”

“If I won’t support my drinking habit, who will?”

“Hark, the herald angels sing. Glory to a newborn king. A fuckin’ furry little monster’s gonna make me a pile of cash.”

“Tell me, Lex. Do you know why they call it Black Friday?”//“Because it comes after Thursday?”

“Well, friend-o. I have a feeling that these little babies are going to take you so far into the black that you ain’t never comin’ back.” *long uncomfortable pause*

“Oh, you’re gonna make a killin’. That’s an Uncle Wiley’s Toys guarantee!”

FRANK HUGGING THE BOX OF WIGGLYS

“Hark, the herald angels sing. Glory to a newborn king. Peace on Earth, and lots of money. MONEYMONEYMONEYMONEY just for ME.”

JON’S VOICE AS WIGGLY I CAN’T

“mALL security we got a shoplifter. Drop that doll!” (His voice crack killed me oh my God)

HIS OUTFIT (The first time I saw him I went “Oh my God he’s emo”)

“Where’s my sister?”// “Oh no.” *stares dramatically* “Hannah?” *even more dramatic* “Is that what you’ve been telling me every day for the past four weeks? To pick up your kid sister?” *grabbing Lex* “Oh, I must’ve forgot because I’m so stupid.” Ethan needs to take up drama

“Do I gotta put a leash on you like a dog, or my cousin Oliver?” 

“Don’t pull her.”//*voice crack* “I’m nOt.”

“Alright banana split.” i’m not crying 

“You see this hat? This was gifted to me by a great warrior.” *Lex laughs*/*Ethan turns around slowly* “Don’t you fuckin’ laugh.”

“I’d make a great dad, I’m just sayin’.” (Ethan isn’t a horrible person he’s just misguided)

“My mom’s a bitch!”

Honestly the way Ethan looks at Lex

*in the middle of singing* “That’s not how cameras work, babe.”

Hannah’s dancing

ROBERT’S WIGGLES DURING “We’re missing in action.”

“Dear mom, it’s been real."

“I’d say you did your best, but I’m not a liar.”//“Oh, L-I-E-R, babe.”//“We get it Ethan, you’re a good speller.”

“PS: Get yourself a new trailer, because this one? Is BROKE AS SHIT!”

Robert in skinny jeans. Can Robert wear skinny jeans more often please?

Hannah doing the “smoking” thing with her hands.

“Hannah! What the fuck is this [imitating it]?That better be fucking FLOSS.”

UGH LAUREN AS LINDA MONROE IS LEGENDARY

“That’s called a bribe, sir, and it’s illegal...or it should be.”

“I have four boys. Four beautiful, blond, boys.”

“Do you really think your children are better than everyone else’s.”// “In so many words, YES.”

“I hope you don’t get a Wiggly. I hope you fucking die.”

“Well, my children were accidents.”

“Stop crying, Gerald. I wasn’t talking to you.”

The way Tom and Becky looked at each other when they met again ugh.

Whatever that song is called when the Hatchetfield citizens were gossiping about it like I think it’s called “What Do You Say?” or something?

“Tom’s put on some weight.”

“I heard Tom is seeing things.”

Jon is serving looks.

The dance they did when they said “all the years that had fun” killed me

Curt Mega is a treasure

“It’s cold out.”//“Nothing really.”//“How are things?”//“Haven’t seen it.”

“Oh my, God, it’s a train-wreck.”//“My favorite.”//“Give me my tub of popcorn.”//“Just skip to the fucking.”//“She’d never--.”//“Either way this is torture porn.”

“I think I’ll step in and save her.”// “You don’t have half of a chance, bitch.”

“THERE, she looked at his crotch.”//“He looked at her boobs.”

“I like dolls. I’m just kidding. I don’t like dolls. At least, not like that.”// “I missed you.” *everyone freaks out*

The dance that looks like a beating heart around them I love.

“Did you know if you spend money, your kids will love you maybe.”

COREY DORRIS NEEDS APPRECIATION BYE

“Give us your fucking money. Give us your fucking cash.”

SERIOUSLY I CAN’T WAIT FOR THIS RECORDING

“Do we have any morality.”

“What’s a grown man going to do with 85 dolls?”// “Well, one will stay in the box for posterity. One will be used exclusively for bath time.”

“If you’re going to make with the hysterics, TAKE IT TO MACY’S.”// “How dare you. Are you hearing this, Gerald? Yes, call my attorney.”

“I’ll tickle one doll, and one doll will tickle me.”

The bidding war.

“Get your hands off her.”// “Fuck YOU.”

The lighting slowly gets red when they start bidding.

“$800.”//“$3.”//“Can I use these coupons?”

“Well, if you’re not going to sell me that doll, I guess I’ll just gonna have to take it.”

“If he gets one, I’m getting four.” *Linda climbs the counter like Draco*

So the lighting during “Feast or Famine” is just???? The green and red??? Like holiday colors but at the same time it’s representative of greed and rage???? 

Just all of “Feast or Famine”

“What’s shaking banana, you okay?” I’M HAVING FEELINGS UGH

“What’s up with that grammar. Even I know it’s ‘more badder’.” Ethan no

ETHAN NO

“Give me that fucking doll I’m in a hurry.” Okay, Jeff you freaking gremlin man

WHO BRINGS A KNIFE SHOPPING?? Unless he stole that, too.

“Do you see him? Do you see him? Do you see him?”//“YES, I fucking see him!”

James as “Obama” I’m crying

“I’ll hold onto the little...uh...whippersnapper.”

“While you three devise a strategy, I’ll hold on to the little friend.”// “Shut the fuck up!”

“You’re nothing more than a Harvard Law School community organizing prick!” I’M SCREAMING

“Take one step closer to my fwendy-wend and I’ll rip your fucking throat out with my own teeth.”

“No, he’s mine! Back off or I will send a laser-guided ballistic missile to your house in Denver. You’ll be scraping off what’s left of your kids off the FUCKING pavement.”

“MORRIS. Give me that COCK-SUCKING MOTHERFUCKING COCK-A-DOODLE-DOLL” CURT MEGA IS A TREASURE 

“I’ll bite your dick off!”

THE AUDIENCE (AND MY) REACTION TO MCNAMARA 

*Obama voice* “Oh, I’m gonna vomit.”

“I hope you don’t mind if I let myself in.”// “Into the oval office?”

“Monsters and Men” IS A BOP

*yeets the Wiggly off stage*

“DECK THE HALLS” IS A BOP

I would 100% watch “Santa Claus is Going to High School” unironically

“Jingle! Jangle! If anyone sees two elves in my locker, I’ll get expelled for sure.”

The dancing UGH

Lauren is the cutest elf ever

PART THREE OF LAUREN AND ROBERT DOING A CUTE DANCE TOGETHER

“What the fuck am I watching?”

Becky talking about her ex-husband breaks my heart. I would die for her.

“You say you killed your family. I hope I killed mine.” My heart is breaking help me

Becky and Tom are freaking CUTE

“Take Me Back” is the cutest song ever

All of the times the characters mention other dimensions and stuff??? Each has a different context, but Joey’s character did say that Hatchetfield was a special town earlier in the show so????

All of the making out I’m done

Becky’s leg

“I knew you weren’t Santa.”//“A red tricycle.”//“SANTA!” *starts making out*

“This is the best movie ever!”

Robert has to make out with two people every day.

**PEIP deals with Paranormal, Extraterrestrial, and Interdimensional stuff, so if TGWDLM was Extraterrestrial, and BF is Interdemensional, will Nerdy Prudes Must Die be Paranormal? Will we see PEIP again? [I’M GOING TO MAKE A SEPARATE POST ABOUT THE THEORIES WITHIN THE UNIVERSE]

**“There are many dimensions, sir.”

“You want to send me into the fucking Twilight Zone to have a sit-down with the devil?”

“They will build him his birth canal.” Ew

Sherman Young is so freaking creepy

“Wiggly is good. Wiggly is just.”

“Bring forth the infidels.”

*as Linda walks onto the stage* “MOTHER MOTHER MOTHER”

“I dislike that word, Gerald. Cult. No, it’s a new, exciting religion that I started.”

“I’ve met God, He had nothing nice to say about you.”

“Adore Me” is a BOP

“You’ll kneel before me. Kiss my toe.”

“I will destroy everything, and then I will destroy everything. I guarantee I’ll destroy everything in my path. Unless I get what I--shit, Gerald.”

The followers repeating “I get what I shit.”

THE TIE AROUND JON’S HEAD KILLS ME

“I want you to know what I mean when I say my evil shit, ‘kay?”

TEAM STARKID PLEASE MAKE LAUREN A VILLAIN MORE OFTEN

“What’s shaking banana?” DON’T DO THIS TO ME

Evil Ethan hurts me

Hannah doesn’t deserve this

“I’m in the Black and White now. It’s just like California. It never ends.”

“I swear on my own grave.” I’M

Hannah calling Wiggly out on his bullshit

“Well, Webby is a stupid bitch.” JON UGH

“I’m going to eat you riiiight the fuuuuck nowwwww.” This scene just makes me want to give Hannah a hug

“We don’t get tricked. We’re grown-ups.” GROWN-UPS ARE THE ONLY ONES BEING TRICKED I CAN’T WITH THIS MUSICAL

“Tom, how could you? You let her get away!”

Dylan jumping at an audience member

I know people think that Ethan’s magic hat thing was bullshit but like the syringe missed Hannah so like?? 

“You think that in the Netherlands they care about some toy? Hah! Nah, they’re too busy enjoying their free vacations and free health care.”

Made In America is A BOP

THE SNIGGLES

BIG WIGGLY

I feel like Made in America won’t have the same punch on the soundtrack.

Joey’s falsetto

R.I.P. General John McNamara

“MERRY CHRISTMAS MOTHERFUCKER!”

“Uh, oh, Mr. Prezy-wez. It seems you’ve misplaced your bomby-womb. Don’t worry. I’m sure it will turn up somewhere.”

“We’ve lost Moscow, sir.”

“He baited us into World War Three.”//*Wiggly giggles* “That tickles.”

“Is this what I live for? To be choked in a toy store?”

“Black Friday” is such a beautiful song though

“Did I need her more than she needed me?” I’m crying please stop

“I’m authorizing you to use my firearm.”

“Monsters and Men” reprise is PERFECT

“Kids don’t want that piece of shit.”//“What?”//“They’re all into Fortnight, dude!”

“I mean, you’re like 40! You probably think your life is over!”

“Everyone is dying, and that includes me, too.” Jeff is a lyrical genius but he needs to back off of whatever angsty juice he’s drinking.

“If I fail you one more time, the punishment won’t match the crime, cause there’s no pain that could ever explain how I let you down.”

“I failed you once, and I will fail again.” I cried when I watched this the first time

“If I Fail You” is such an emotional song

“Alright, let’s go.”//“Fuck, yeah! Should I move these boxes first?”//“Fuck, yeah.”

Charlotte? Where did you come from???

“The only man that’ll have her now is Jack Daniels.”

“And you, you little shit.” Says Draco, the little shit.

“A magic hat? That’s ridiculous. Only dolls are magic.”

“Is this some kind of a joOoOoOoke?”

“Answer me, or I’ll cut your mouth open with my FUCKING KNIFE.”

“You’re a fucking moron.”// “Then you’ve been out-fucked by a fucking moron.”

Lauren’s wiggles during “He will wigglewigglewigglewigglewiggle his way into life.”

“Wiggle” is such a silly song but the harmonies and choreography????? Iconic.

ROBERT’S TWIRL???

JAMES’ DEATH DROP????

EVERYONE’S SEPARATE WIGGLES????

The crying when Becky shot Linda.

“Gerald? It’s Gary. Yep, we need to talk about the will. Goldstein!”

The red light that symbolized Wiggly being on fire.

The followers deciding to burn with Wiggly.

“I have this cooky, reclusive Biology professor.” *audience loses their shit*

“What am I supposed to do without my iPhone?”//“Wear a watch?”

“What If Tomorrow Comes” is such a haunting song

Kendall’s voice is so GOOD!

HOT CHOCOLATE BOY?

MR. DAVIDSON?

BILL?

The dabbing

Hannah and Lex hugging

Paul hugging Emma and Bill

The Hot Chocolate Boy and the Cinema Kid holding hands honestly adorable and I lowkey ship

A little bit of instrumentals from “Not Your Seed” in the end-credit music?? (From the lyric “Look what happened, nightmare time.”)

That’s it. It’s very long, but those were either my favorite parts or small things I noticed. Mostly just my thoughts.

[atheshadowdancer-blog]

Part 2: Vampire in training

Hello again! :D This is a continuation of the first Hamlaf one-shot I did a few days ago for @sparkskun , so if you haven’t read that one...GO READ IT! Becuase this one is after Alex is turned, and now Laf is being a good boyfriend. :)

WARNING: THERE IS BLOOD AND SLIGHT SWEARING IN THIS...Just saying.

Summary: It has now been two weeks since Hamilton became a vampire, and now Lafayette has been helping him learn his abilities. They have hidden their secret well, but now there is a chance that someone close might find out of their true forms....

Lafayette opened his eyes and smiled as he watched the last raindrop fall into a bowl he had placed on the ground the night before. Gilbert then looked down at the small man he was holding in his arms and smiled before holding him close to his chest. Ever since Alexander completely turned, the pair was inseparable, always staying at each other’s side except when one was called for war. During their time together, they were able to sneak off of camp and work on Alex’s super speed. Lafayette felt himself fall in love with Alexander all over again when he watched as Alexander ran around the place acting like a little child on the day of Christmas.

 Lafayette kissed Hamilton’s head as he watched Alexander’s eyes began to flutter open but stopped as if they were debating whether or not to let their owner wake up. Eventually, Alexander did wake up to see the Frenchman looking down at him smiling, Gilbert’s accent was thick as he spoke, “Bonjour, mon amour.” Alex smiled and snuggled closer to Lafayette, “Morning, Gil.” Lafayette chuckled, “Ready for another day? I think it’s time for me to show you something...” Alexander��looked up at the taller man suddenly interested, “What is it?” Lafayette smiled, “We should get dressed first.” Alex nodded and quickly got out of the cot to retrieve the shirt and jacket he abandoned on the ground. As he got dressed, he felt as if someone was watching him. He turned around back to Lafayette to see he smiling at him, he softly smiled, “See something you like?” Lafayette got up from the bed and grabbed his jacket as he approached the smaller man. He held his lover’s chin, “Yes, you, Mon Cheri.” He quickly kissed Alexander on the nose before putting on his jacket and walking to the exit of the tent. “Hurry now, Alex. We should finish before the general wakes up.”

Alexander slowly walked up the lege of the cliff Lafayette told him to climb. He looked over the edge and at nervously spoke to Lafayette, “Are you sure about this? I don’t want to die from jumping off a cliff......” Lafayette yelled back, “Don’t worry, mon amour. The only thing that can kill us is fire and a stake to the heart. This will just feel like a sprained ankle. Now, jump and imagine yourself as a bat. And don’t worry, I'll catch you if you don’t fly.” Alex nervously nodded, he spoke to himself, “Okay...you can do this, Alex. Just....jump.” He closed his eyes and ran to the ledge and jumped. Almost in a second, there was an explosion of mist when it cleared up, there was a small baby bat with its eyes closed. When it opened its eyes, it began to freak out and fall to the ground. Lafayette was quick to run under it and hold his hands out to catch it. 

The bat soon fell into his hands and looked up at Lafayette with shock in its eyes. Lafayette smiled; this was Alexander in his animal form. Lafayette began to study Alex when he saw something in the middle of his stomach, a small hole, just like the one he earned from being shot in the stomach. An upside to being a vampire, wounds heal twice as fast. Lafayette smiled and kissed the small hole in his furry stomach. The small black eyes widened flustered at Gilbert before using his wings to cover his face and stomach. Lafayette laughed at the baby bat before speaking, “Mon Amour, try to fly. After this, we can begin to go back to the camp, okay” Alex uncovered his face and nodded, and used his small claws to get up from laying on his back and slowly stood up. He looked at Gilbert and nodded before jumping and slowly beginning to fly around Lafayette. He soon got excited and began to fly in loops and attempt to perform other tricks. Lafayette cheered for his lover, “Well done, my love, Now, we should stop.” 

Alexander nodded and flew back down to Lafayette, landing on his back and using his claws and latching on to stay on his back. Lafayette began to grow confused but quickly gained his balance as he felt the sudden weight change on his back. Alexander, now in his human form, held onto Lafayette’s back, “That was fun.” Lafayette smiled, “I couldn’t agree more.” The smiles on both their faces fell as they heard a sound in the distance. The sound of Patriot drums, informing the army to wake up, including the general. Alexander and Lafayette looked at each other, Alex quickly got off Gilbert’s back and followed him as he used his super speed to race back to the camp.

As they got closer to the camp, Lafayette caught Alex’s gaze and gave him a look that said, “Slow down.” They both stopped running as they approached the camp. They calmly walked in and watched as other soldiers groaned and stepped out of their tents. They both looked at each other and sighed, they were successful yet again, and not caught by the general. “Hamilton!” They both jumped and watched as Washington approached them, “Alexander, get your breakfast and began to work. I don’t want you to stay up too long like you have been doing. Alexander nodded, “Of course, sir.” George nodded and walked away. Alex sighed and looked up at the Frenchman, “I should go.” He looked down and kissed Alex on the cheek, “Go. I’ll meet you at my tent so we can off into the woods again.” Lafayette smiled and watched as Alexander ran off, going to get his meal and get to work.

Washington writing a letter to his wife when heard a soft knock come from the entrance of his tent. “Come in”, he looked up from his letter to see Hamilton walk in with yet another pile of papers. Washington smiled, “Thank you, Hamilton.” He reached for his metal mug that rested on the left side, and silently took a sip. Alex spoke, “Is there anything else you need to be done?” Washington set the mug down on the desk then looked down at his desk, “I am sure, Alexander.” He spared a glance at his mug, expecting to see Alexander’s reflection, his eyes slightly widened as he saw something; Alex did not have a reflection. He quickly stood up, causing Alexander to take a step back out of shock,”Actually, there is nothing to be done at the time. You are excused for the evening.” Alexander smiled, “Thank you, sir. Have a good night.” Washington quietly watched as Alex left the tent before racing off to the only man he knew has been around Alexander these two weeks; Lafayette.

He quickly approached the tent and opened the flaps only to see a deserted tent. He ran to Alexander’s, yet saw no one inside. He looked through the entire camp but did not find them. Soon, he came across their two friends; Hercules Mulligan and John Laurens. “Laurens! Mulligan!” The two stopped and quickly saluted their general,” Yes, sir?” Washington approached the two men and spoke, “Do you know where Hamilton and Lafayette are?” They both shook their heads. The general then exclaimed, “Go find them!” Mulligan and Laurens spoke at the same time, “Sir, yes, Sir!”, then ran off.

Hamilton playfully spoke,” Okay, Lafayette. I showed you my animal form. Now it’s your turn.” Lafayette smiled, “Of course, Mon Cheri.” He began to crouch then get on all fours. Alexander watched in awe as Lafayette’s normal dark skin was replaced with dark fur, and his hands were replaced with paws. Alexander stepped back and saw in awe that his lover had turned into a yellow-eyed wolf. He heard a voice in his head, “Why don't you turn now?” He smiled, it was Lafayette’s voice. Alex quickly jumped in the air and turned into a baby bat, then he flew and landed on Lafayette’s furry back. Alexander heard his lover’s voice in his head once more, “Hold on. We are going for a ride.” He held onto Lafayette with his claws as he began to run deeper into the forest.

As they ran deeper into the forest, something caught Lafayette’s eye; red coats. Lafayette turned his head to look at Alexander, “Get their attention. I’ll attack them from behind.” Alex looked at what he meant then nodded. He leaped off of Laf’s back and flew towards the trail they were taking. Lafayette quickly ran by a series of trees and waited for them as he saw the group of lobsterbacks talking to each other.

Alexander quickly landed in front of the trail and watched as they neared him, yet had not seen him. One of the British soldiers saw him, “Men! Look..a baby bat.” He walked up to Alex and picked him up as another spoke, “I do have to admit, he is quite cute.” The third one spoke, “Do you have that rope, Robert?” He nodded, pulling the rope out of his bag while still holding Alexander in the other. “Why were you asking?” He smiled, “Let’s take him back to camp.” Alexander began to squeak and squirm in panic as the British soldiers began to wrap him in the rope.

Lafayette growled from behind the tree and leaped out at one of the soldiers, pouncing them and biting at their neck; no one took away Gilbert’s love. The two others began to panic, and one began to pull out a pistol and aimed it at the wolf. They pulled the trigger, but Lafayette had jumped out of the way, running towards them. They began to reload but were stopped by Lafayette pouncing them to the ground, their screams being short as Lafayette tore at their throat. The last one, holding Alexander his hands, broke into a run, most likely heading back to the camp in hopes of escaping death. But Lafayette was quick. He chased after him and used his sharp teeth to tear at his legs, causing him to scream and fall to the ground. Lafayette got on his back before he could get up, and bit the back of his neck, killing him. 

Lafayette got off of the dead man’s back and grabbed his coat in order to free Alexander, who was trapped underneath him. Alex got out of the loose ropes then crawled towards Lafayette,” That was horrible...I almost got captured!” Lafayette smiled and quickly trapped Alex in his paws, “But I am glad you are safe.” He then gave his kissed on his face, with some of the blood getting into Alexander’s fur. Before the Frenchman could continue to give his lover dog-like kisses, they heard two voices. “Dude, we have been walking for three hours. We are not going to find them.” Lafayette looked down at Alex as he released him from the hold of his paws, “Get on my back....” Alexander climbed onto his back as he neared the voices.

Hercules wiped the sweat that started t form on his forehead, “John, it’s getting late. Let’s just let them get back when they want.” John shrugged, “Maybe, but Washington gave us an order. We are to find Alex and Gilbert then take them back to camp.” Before Hercules could say anything back, they heard a growl then a wolf jumped in front of them with a bat looking at them from behind its head. John put his hands out, “Woah! No need to come at us buddy!” The wolf’s glare softened and he slowly then walked towards the two while starting to stand on its hind legs. Hercules and John watched in shock as the wolf and baby bat turned into people they recognized as friends; Lafayette and Hamilton.

“Holy shit.....HOLY SHIT! ARE YOU GUYS WEREWOLVES OR SOMETHING?!!!” Hercules began to yell and pace around the group, Alex spoke, “First, quiet down, we don’t want people to hear us. Second, we are vampires.”  Hercules held onto his bennie, “This is amazing! My friends are vampires! This is awesome!” John spoke, “Wait. Why didn’t you tell us? Have you been keeping it a secret this entire time?” Lafayette sighed, “We couldn’t risk it. If the army found out, they would have burned us at the stake, or made it easy and just ramed a stake in our hearts.” John stayed silent for a moment. but then sighed, “Okay, let’s agree on something. We’ll keep this a secret, but don’t hide anymore from us, okay?” Lafayette nodded, John turned around, “Let’s get going. We don’t want to keep the general waiting for us.” They began to walk then Hercules spoke, “Wait, Why is there blood on Alexander’s cheek and Laf’s teeth?” The pair looked at each other and smiled, “Redcoats.”

Washington looked up from his book as he heard four pairs of footsteps enter the camp. He stepped out of his tent and saw as the four men approached him, he stood up straight, “Lafayette, I need to speak with you, Privately. You three, return to your tents.” Lafayette looked at Alexander one last time before entering the tent.

Lafayette walked into the large tent and held his hands behind his back, “Is there something wrong, sir?” Washington rested his hands on his desk, “Yes. I have noticed something about Alexander. He has...changed.” Lafayette looked at the book that rested on the general’s desk and froze, it was a book about vampires. He quick regained his voice as he watched Washington walk towards one of the torches that lit up the large tent, “Is that so? I can ask Alexander if he has been feeling unwell.” Washington grabbed the torch, “I don’t think that is necessary, Lafayette. For I believe it's your doing.” Washington quickly turned around and held the torch towards the Frenchman. Lafayette hunched his back and jumped away from the flames, dodging the flames that nearly touched his stomach. He continued to back away from the general as he attempted to catch Lafayette with the flames. Unfortunately, Gilbert tripped. He tried to back away from the general but stopped when he held the flames to his face, rage easily seen in Washington’s eyes. “How did I reverse the effects?” Lafayette exclaimed, “There is no way to change him into a  mortal again! It’s...permanent.” Washington continued to look down at the Frenchman, and slowly walked back to the torch holder and returned the torch to its place. “Return to your tent, soldier.” Lafayette scrambled to get up and ran towards the exit of the tent.

“And Lafayette, if Alexander gets harmed,”, Lafayette turned back to the general, who was giving him a death glare, “I won’t hesitate to throw a stake into your heart.” Lafayette quickly nodded then ran out of the tent.

Fortunately for the vampires, Washington was the only one who could skillfully throw a stake. Unfortunately, there was another.....Aaron Burr.

The drama begins, @sparkskun ......:)

[jaketapper]

Remarks to the Canadian Journalism Foundation

Last night I was honored with the Tribute at the Canadian Journalism Foundation awards in Toronto, Canada. Below are my prepared remarks; I deviated from the text slightly and tried to make edits below to better reflect what I said.

I want to thank the CJF and more specifically the Gala Committee - David Walmsley, Maureen Shaughnessy Kitts and Natalie Turvey - for selecting me for this tribute.

I would also like to thank Peter Mansbridge for those lovely remarks and more importantly for his decades at the CBC, serving as a beacon for anchors across the continent, speaking truth to power, and calm to panic. I know this nation has come to depend on you to guide it through times of difficulty and joy, and I know she will miss your nightly presence.

It is such an honor to receive this award, especially as someone who isn’t Canadian, someone born in New York and raised in Philadelphia. I was seven during the American Bicentennial in Philadelphia, the heart of American democracy, so it was interesting when a few years ago i began doing some genealogical research and discovered that many of my ancestors, the Huffs, fought in the Revolutionary War. The surprise was that they fought for the British and then fled to Canada. They continued to fight on your side in the war of 1812. This was of course something of a rude awakening for a Philly boy.

Of course i knew of my Canadian roots -- My mother was born in Ottawa, and came to the U.S. with her family when she was 7. My grandfather Everett Palmatier fought with the Royal Canadian Navy during World War II serving on the HMCS Cobalt, a Flower-class corvette that participated in escorting convoys in the Atlantic. My grandmother Helen worked as a confidential secretary for the Canadian government. My great uncle Edwin Palmatier, a tailgunner, was shot down and killed by the Luftwaffe in that war. There is a lake named after him in this country. In January 1917, one hundred years ago, my great great grandfather David Dyson, a pickle and vinegar merchant was the mayor of Winnipeg -- for four days. He lost the recount.

Now, if I were Tom I would make a joke about how Peter Mansbridge covered that recount. But I am not so I will not.

Grammie and Grampie and Uncle Edwin and David Dyson are no longer with us, but i brought my mother here tonight and I want to take a moment to honor her for not only having been a loving and selfless mother but for having instilled in me concepts of compassion and decency that i hope have shaped the way i live and also how i perceive my responsibility as a journalist. Thank you, Mom. I love you.

I would also be remiss if i did not take a moment to thank another great son of Canada, a mentor to so many of us who had the pleasure of working with him, my former boss at ABC news, the late great Peter Jennings. Peter was a tireless and fearless and obstinate boss. And he taught me so much and the world, and the world of journalism, is lesser for his passing.

As for this award...just looking at the list of prior honorees -- Tina Brown and Sir Harold Evans, Malcolm Gladwell, Robert MacNeill, Morley Safer and Graydon Carter -- that is pretty august company. Though the ones who mean the most to me are the 2012 posthumous tribute to Jennings and the man who did more to make me a journalist than anyone else, the late great David Carr, honored in 2013. I like to think somewhere David and Peter are watching this presentation, frustrated that they can’t break through and criticize me and make sure that i’m not letting anything go to my head. Don’t worry guys, I got the lesson. You taught me well.

And of course as well all know, people like Peter and myself get the attention, but journalism is truly a team effort. From the lowest level intern to the highest executive, I couldn’t do what I do without everyone at CNN. Everyone in this room knows what a team effort journalism is. Three from my team are here -- Jessica Stanton, John Robinson, and Lauren Pratapas -- and without them and without the leadership of my boss Jeff Zucker, as well as John Martin and Jeff Bewkes, none of this would be possible.

In three days I’ll be giving my first commencement address ever, at my alma mater, Dartmouth College in New Hampshire, and Ive been thinking a lot about what then President Eisenhower told students in the 1953 commencement:

He said: “Don't join the book burners. Don't think you are going to conceal faults by concealing evidence that they ever existed. … How will we defeat communism unless we know what it is, and what it teaches, and why does it have such an appeal for men, why are so many people swearing allegiance to it?...And we have got to fight it with something better, not try to conceal the thinking of our own people. They are part of America. And even if they think ideas that are contrary to ours, their right to say them, their right to record them, and their right to have them at places where they are accessible to others is unquestioned, or it isn't America.”

This was Eisenhower talking about communism during the Cold War and the Red Scare -- and he was arguing that the Communists should come out and engage in the battle place of ideas and we should welcome them

That battleplace of ideas is something I think about a lot

Especially when liberals tell me not to put Republicans or Trump supporters on my shows. Using Ike’s words, I ask them, How will you win an election against Trump and Trumpism unless you know what it is, and what it teaches, to paraphrase Ike, and why does it have such an appeal for men, why are so many people swearing allegiance to it?

And for those in journalism who do not understand the appeal of President Trump to 62,979,636 Americans, it is also important to try to understand the phenomenon so many of us failed to see coming. If you strip away the falsehoods and the bigotry and the occasional indecencies -- more on them later -- but if you strip those away there are propositions that are completely legitimate -- fixing a broken system in Washington, making sure the elites and the government do more to protect American jobs and lives and livelihoods. We in the media need to rise to the moment and allow these disrupting debates to happen, and let the best ideas win.

But all that said, I am concerned about the weapons being deployed by the president and forces allegiant to him in this battlefield. I am concerned about the lies and smears, I am concerned about the moments of indecency, and for this audience especially I am referring of course to his calling stories he doesn’t like -- ones that are entirely 100% accurate -- “fake news,” and thus successfully undermining the 4th estate with a large segment of the population.

On January 12, a team of reporters including me, Jim Sciutto, Evan Perez, and Carl Bernstein reported the following: “Classified documents presented last week to President Obama and President-elect Trump included allegations that Russian operatives claim to have compromising personal and financial information about Mr. Trump, multiple US officials with direct knowledge of the briefings tell CNN. The allegations were presented in a two-page synopsis that was appended to a report on Russian interference in the 2016 election.” It went on from there.

There is not one word of this story that is not accurate. And yet this is the story President Trump used to first attack CNN as “fake news.” A term that used to refer to actual fake stories -- The Daily Show with Jon Stewart or more recently the such as the nonsense that there was a Satanic pedophilia ring linked to a pizzeria in Washington, D.C. with ties to the Hillary Clinton campaign. Now it stands for stories the president does not like.

And he does not like a lot of them. And while yes there have been some minor media missteps almost all of the stories he’s called fake news have been proven to be true.

Every politician lies. Hillary Clinton falsely claimed FBI “Director Comey said my answers were truthful.” Barack Obama claimed if you like your doctor you can keep your doctor.

But the sheer number of falsehoods and factual flip-flops coming from this White House is staggering. NATO is obsolete, now it isn’t. Jobless numbers are bogus, now they’re real.

And what’s worse we have a situation now where prevarications are not only supported by the administration and its allies in the media but by an entire dark Army of twitter trolls and meme creators here and abroad who work to undermine the work and reputations of those who either oppose the president and his policies within the party or Congress or those of us in the media who are attempting to provide basic non partisan guidance on what is going on while trying to uphold basic facts and decency.

The great discomfort here for Americans is we want our leaders to be credible. The great discomfort for journalists is that if a president declares war on truth, those who try to stand by truth and defend her are then labeled partisans, or biased.

We are not supposed to be fighters on the battlefield. We are not the opposition to President Trump, we are not the resistance.

We all are trying to figure out the way to cover this new world where fact and decency often seems to mean so little. And I do think that we as journalists need to defend truth and decency.

But I also think that too many journalists sometimes allow themselves to get swept up and we cannot have that, we cannot have a world where we act like the opposition. We in the 4th estate must rise to the occasion of this challenge. And by that I don’t only mean that we work harder than ever to avoid the kinds of mistakes that undermine our profession by avoiding stories that get key facts wrong, but that we also refrain from sharing every emotion the moment we experience it on twitter. And that we consider the low regard many members of the public have for us, and that we work hard to be fair to all points of view -- even the side whose members are attacking us and attempting to undermine us -- the policies they advocate, not the attacks.

And let me say a word about those attempts to undermine. Tom Friedman writes in his new book Thank You For Being Late about the advances of technology compared to the human ability to adapt to these changes. The chart of technology looks like this…..the chart of our ability to adapt to technology looks like this. We are way behind as a society where technology is -- i recently read that the average smartphone is millions of times more powerful than all of NASA’s combined computing in 1969

So what does that mean? It means that when your Uncle shared a website called the Denver Guardian -- and a story headlined “FBI Agent Suspected in Hillary Email Leaks Found Dead” -- and spreads the story using on Facebook -- he has no idea what’s going on. His sophistication is here on the chart. The technology is here.

I have seen US Senators and US Members of the House -- and I know no one would do this in your Parliament -- but members of the U.S. House and Senate have invoked websites I do not consider to be credible -- not just on the right but on the left. Recently after Republican Congressman Jason Chaffetz of Utah announced he would be leaving Congress, Congresswoman Maxine Waters -- a Democrat of California recently lionized by the left -- went on MSNBC and said of him “There are those who think that he in some ways, have some connections to what is going on in the...Ukraine and perhaps in Russia itself, and knows something about all of this. I don’t really know. I can’t say, but he’s strange in the way that he’s conducting himself...Maybe [Chaffetz] thinks that if he rolls out and points to the fact that something is going on with Flynn ... that somehow this will raise [Chaffetz] above maybe what connections he may have with the Kremlin, we need to keep an eye on him.”

This is crazy; it’s madness. And to point out that this is going on on the Left is not to promote a false equivalence with the fact that it is going on at a much greater scale from a much larger platform on the right. 

But lies are lies. Irresponsible fact-free speculation does not become less irresponsible because of a conspiracy peddler’s political affiliation or gender or anything else.

I did not become a journalist to be a fact-checker or a truth-squadder, i became a journalist to hold people in power accountable, to try to tell stories other journalists weren’t telling, and to try to have serious discussions about the way policies impact people’s lives. Probably why a lot of people in this room became journalists.

I did not become a journalist to become a meme or to watch a younger far better looking man portray me on Saturday Night Live, although thanks for that.  But there is a lot of attention on us today as the fourth estate finds itself trying to stand up for basic standards of decency and truth.

And while it is important that we not take the bait and become the opposition that Trump and Bannon would like to cast us as -- thus de-legitimizing ourselves -- it is also important that we not sway the other direction. We cannot pretend that lies don’t need to be called out. We cannot shrug and talk about how a politician’s supporters don’t care about behavior that empirically is offensive. We cannot lower the standards that we as a society hold just for access to big name interviews. We have to be able to look our children in the eyes. We cannot not lower our standards because of attrition and exhaustion or because colleagues are making other decisions, or because Fox, Breitbart and online trolls will lie about us otherwise. 

This is a time for all of us in the 4th estate and indeed all of us in North America s to stand up for what we know is right. Objectivity. Truth. Decency. Facts.

My late grandmother, Helen McDowell Palmatier, born 101 years ago in Winnipeg, was an expert on Sir Winston Churchill, so with your permission I would like to end these remarks by quoting him.

Churchill once said: “A free press is the unsleeping guardian of every other right that free men prize; it is the most dangerous foe of tyranny… Under dictatorship the press is bound to languish…But where free institutions are indigenous to the soil and men have the habit of liberty, the press will continue to be the Fourth Estate, the vigilant guardian of the rights of the ordinary citizen.”

Thank you for this honor.

[bornconfused444]

What’s something someone can do that makes you melt? Show their affection for their s/o in front of their friends.

What are you listening to right now?

Some movie.

If you won a lot of money on the lottery, what would you buy first? I wouldn’t I’d pay off my student loans.

Could you forgive a boyfriend or friend who physically hurt you?

I’ve done that I’d never do it again.

What’s your greatest fear? Dying alone and no one finding my body for years.

Has anyone upset you in the last week? Yes.

What’s the best thing about you? I don’t know I don’t really like anything about me right now.

What’s your favorite drink? Water.

What are you going to do tomorrow?

I don’t know. I never really have anything to do because I still can’t find work.

What are you craving?

Sleep but I’m afraid I’ll miss the text I’m waiting for because I know my phone won’t wake me.

How did you sleep last night? Not well at all.

What was the first thing you thought this morning? Just wondering what time it was.

If your favorite food gave you pain, made you have acne, etc., would you still eat it? Nope.

Have you ever been judged on something you wore?

Yes.

Are you a timid person? Oh yeah.

Think QUICK what word begins with c? Cunt. I’m sorry it was literally the first word that came to mind lmao.

Are you a funny person? Sometimes.

Ever heard of Hollister? Yea,

Be honest, do you go for looks more or personality? Both.

Ever been so upset but didn’t understand why? Yeah, it’s called chronic depression. <--

Are you a flirty person? Sometimes.

Are you homophobic? Nope.

Ever had a rumor spread about you? Yes.

Are you a gossiper? Sometimes. It depends on who we’re talking about.

Has anyone ever pulled your pants down in public? No.

Ever had the ‘birds and the bees’ talk with your parents? Nope. Mom started and I asked if we could finisht hat talk later she said yes and we never finished it lmao.

How would you react if someone said you ruined their life? I don’t know it really depends on who said I.

Do you get upset if people say nasty things about you? Yea.

Are you a sympathetic person? Sometimes.

Have you ever said “I’m gonna kill myself” but was too scared to?

Yea. Like I don’t go around saying it constantly but I have said that and not done it.

Ballet dance or hip hop dance? I don’t dance but I find hip hop better.

What’s currently bothering you right now? I’m bored and tired but I can’t sleep right now.

What is the most athletic you’ve done?

I used to play soccer a lot.

Do you remember the first conversation you ever had with the person you currently have feelings for? Yes. It was awkward but somehow didn’t stay awkward for long.

Do you like to drink herbal tea?

I don’t like tea.

If you’re home alone, do you still close/lock the door when you use the bathroom?

Yes.

What your favorite thing to have on toast?

Peanut butter..

Has anyone ever hung up on you? Yes.

Have you ever been to a concert? Yea.

Can you speak more than one language? If so, what other language(s)? I can kind of speak French and Spanish and German but I wish I knew how to speak them better.

Are you talking to anyone right now? Nope.

If so, how do you feel about them? -

Do you know anyone who skateboards? Yes.

Do you ever sing when you’re alone? Yea.

What’s the stupidest song you’ve listened to today?

I haven’t listened to music yet.

Are you listening to music, currently? Nope.

How do you feel about the song? -

When someone teases you do you frown or give an amazing comeback? Depends on who’s teasing me.

Do you think you can sing? Some things. Some songs I know I just can’t sing.

Do you have any talent? No.

Do you like someone who doesn’t like you back? Nope.

Do you think you’re better looking than some other people? Than some sure. <--

Do you think it’s still cheating if you’re in another city or country? Yes.

Do you like dancing? Nope.

What’s your favorite zoo animal? I don’t have one.

How is your hair currently styled? Down and wet because I just showered like half an hour ago.

How long are your showers (on average)? Like 20-25 minutes depending on if I have to shave too.

East or West? I live closer to the east coast but I wish I lived closer to the west coast.

What did you do last night? Nothing but sleep.

Do you have any college or future plans? Nope.

Do you like your music loud? Sometimes.

What are you allergic to? Shellfish.

What was the last movie you watched? Whatever this movie that’s on is. I don’t know the name of it though.

Would you recommend it? I don’t know it’s boring to me but so are most movies.

How do you feel about Bob Marley? I don’t really listen to any of his stuff.

Do you ever stay up late just to be awake? I don’t anymore but I used to. Now I love my sleep like you would not believe.

What do you want to name your children? I don’t want kids. <--

Would you ever write a letter to someone you haven’t met yet, like your future spouse? No.

Did the last movie you watched make you cry? Nope.

Can you type and text with fake nails? I can but not as quickly as I can without them.

Are you a good swimmer? Yes.

Do you get upset when a pet fish dies? I don’t have a pet fish anymore and when I did I was too young to understand what death really was.

What are you always thinking about? Lots of things.

Do you sleep on the couch some nights? Nope. I cant sleep all night on the couch I swear age is catching up to me already because that hurts the back.

Did your mom sing to you when you were young? Yes.

Is science your favorite subject?

Aside from math, it was my least favourite. <-- same.

Do you know the difference between a simile and a metaphor? Yes.

Do you carry a mirror in your purse? Sometimes like if I  did my makeup really good or wore more makeup than normal.

Do you believe that there is beauty in everything? Yes.

When you’re really worked up, what do you do to relax? Sleep or listen to music,

Have you ever walked around your house pretending you were on cribs, talking to yourself? Nope lmfao.

Would you rather spend the day watching movies or on an intense hike? Intense hike I hate sitting around watching movies.

Did you ever try the cereal Special K? Nope.

Think of the last person you kissed, was it memorable? Nope.

If you could meet any celebrity, who would it be? Amy Winehouse.

Who’s your favorite character on One Tree Hill? Never seen an episode. <--

Are you more of a ketchup or dill pickle chips type? Dill Pickle chips.

For $300 would you wear just a bra and underwear to school? Yes.

Who do you think is hotter, Ben Stiller or Jim Carrey? Neither.

Are you one of those chicks that are always wearing a hoodie? Not always no.

You are seeing a guy for 5 months, you find out he’s “seeing” someone else, do you care? Or course I would.

Did you ever hear of the band ‘Funeral For A Friend’? Nope.

Or how about, ‘From First To Last’? Nope.

You have the choice of being poor but happy, or rich but miserable. Which is it? Rich and miserable tbh. I would take money over happiness.

Would you rather change places with Ellen DeGeneres or Oprah for a week? Ellen because she seems more fun and in still compared to Oprah.

The first time you smoked, did you cough like a fool? Nope. It’s not hard to know how to inhale.

Would you say guys like you more because you’re hot, funny, or nice? I don’t know why guys like me at all lmao.

When you were younger did you have a Neopets account? I did indeed. <--

When was the last time you actually went on that site? When I was like 11.

If you had to pick, which name would you name your child, Laura or Lauren? Laura but I don’t want kids.

What about boys, Brian or Benji? Benji. Brian reminds me of that overweight lonely kid who grows up to be a video game nerd that lives in his parents’ basement.

Would you be more likely to be considered outgoing or shy by your classmates? Shy.

Would it be any different if it was your friends who were answering that? Yes. I’m really outgoing when it comes to being around my friends.

Did you ever actually watch that show on MTV, ‘Pants Off Dance Off’? Never even heard of it so no.

If you were famous, which celebrity would you like to hang out with? Miley Cyrus she seems entertaining,

Who do you think is prettier, Julia Roberts or Sandra Bullock? Sandra Bullock. I can’t stand Julia Roberts – she’s one of those actresses that will actually deter me from watching a movie. <-- I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO FELT THIS WAY.

Why is that guys can fuck around and it’s cool, but when girls do it they’re sluts? Sexism. <_-

Do you like Lady Gaga’s style or music better? Music.

Would you rather live without your Facebook or Tumblr?

Tumblr because I use Facebook more than I use Tumblr.

Do you think girls with short hair are less good looking than those with long hair? I’m gonna get strung up and hanged for this but yes.

Have you ever held an uncommon pet before (ex: mouse, spider, snake, lizard)?  Nopenopenopenope.

Would you rather eat only cereal or only toast for the rest of your life? Cereal. I don’t like toast that much.I can only have it like once a month or so.

Does it annoy you when people brag about the shit they got? Yes.

Do you have more friends or acquaintance Acquaintances.