#Last time they sent me home because of my GP's mistake

[tarakau]

Ok round two, (hopefully) actually getting the top surgery today in a bit!

[buckybarnesthehotshot]

iv: i hate you but i’m too tired for this shit (bucky barnes x reader)

i hate you but masterlist

summary: bucky and y/n can’t stand each other, but y/n needs help with her sister’s kids (enemies to lovers au)

word count: 2061

warnings: swearing, arguing, death, and this is not proofread

taglist is CLOSED

       “Do you know where y/n is?” Bucky raised a brow at Sam as he pulled a carton of milk from the now-replaced fridge.

      “Why? Are you gonna accuse her of burning the kitchen down again this time? I don’t think she burned down any kitchens today,” Sam chuckled, his gaze wandering around the newly repaired kitchen.

       “No, it’s not tha—” Bucky tried to explain, only to get interrupted by Sam breaking out in a fit of laughter.

       “Man, you’re in love with y/n! That’s why you’re always pissing her off!” Sam exclaimed excitedly, earning a smack across the shoulder from Bucky.

       “Why do you always assume people are in love with other people? Last week, you said the guy in front of us in the café was in love with the barista just because he took ten seconds longer than he was supposed to for ordering a drink,” Bucky rolled his eyes at Sam’s childish remarks.

       “You should’ve seen him! He was making heart eyes at her!” Sam exclaimed, holding his arms up in defense.

       “He was on the phone with his girlfriend, Sam!” Bucky pointed out.

       “Okay, that was a mistake on my part, but why are you looking for y/n?” Sam raised a brow at Bucky as he crossed his arms.

       “She borrowed my van four days ago and she never came back,” Bucky shrugged.

       “That’s because she went on an indefinite break from staying at the tower and all her Avengers duties. She even sent Fury an email about it,” Sam chuckled before pausing as his eyes widened, “wait, you let y/n borrow something you own?”

       “She was doing that weird thing with her eyes; you know the one she uses to get information when we’re undercover?” Bucky scratched the back of his neck, struggling to describe what exactly it was y/n did to get him to hand over his van keys.

       “You fell victim to her puppy eyes? Damn man, I thought it would take more than to get you to crack,” Sam broke out in a fit of laughter as Bucky scowled.

       “Yeah, well, she did this thing where she held onto my shoulders and started shaking me!” Bucky exclaimed defensively. Sam shook his head as his laughter slowly began dying down.

       “Man, so if HYDRA decided to capture you and gave you the puppy dog eyes, you would give up all the information they want you to give up?” Sam raised a brow at Bucky. Bucky, as though in deep thought, averted his gaze as he swiped his lip with his tongue.

       “Well, no but—”

       “Man, I should tell Fury to start looking for a replacement now,” Sam quipped.

       “All I’m asking is you know where she’s staying? I wanted to pick up a few things from the hardware store, but since y/n has my van, I can’t really do that,” Bucky questioned, pouring milk in his cereal bowl.

       “Can’t you have FRIDAY call her? Wait, she’s your teammate, you should have her number!” Sam pointed out as Bucky attempted to argue with a mouthful of cereal.

        “She banned,” Bucky paused to swallow his food before continuing, “from contacting her through FRIDAY or via her phone number.”

       “That’s all on you, Barnes,” Sam chuckled before grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and walking away.

       “FRIDAY, can I have a location on y/n?” Bucky requested as soon as Sam was out of earshot. To Bucky, talking to someone he couldn’t see was a little weird at first. Sure, when he was in Wakanda, he’d seen Shuri do it plenty of times, but he just assumed she had someone on comms. That was why the first time FRIDAY greeted him, he was startled—and whether or not he’d admit it, he pissed his pants a little too.

       “Unfortunately, Agent l/n blocked any requests for her information,” FRIDAY explained. Bucky groaned in frustration; he just wanted his van back. Was that too much to ask for? That was when he was struck by an idea.

       “FRIDAY, can I please have a location on my van?” Bucky requested, silently praying that his van did not somehow end up in another state.

       “Your van is parked outside an apartment complex in downtown New York. Shall I send the coordinated to your mobile device?” FRIDAY questioned.

       “Yes, please,” Bucky responded as he downed down the leftover cereal milk in his bowl.

       Bucky checked his phones from any notifications from FRIDAY and there it was on his lock screen: y/n’s home address.

       “FRIDAY, set my GPS on my motorcycle to the location of my van,” Bucky requested.

       “The GPS on your motorcycle has been set,” FRIDAY responded.

       Bucky left his bowl on the counter and headed into his bedroom to grab a pair of sneakers and a pale green jacket. He stared at the dark glove on his nightstand in consideration for a moment.

       Even after he’d been pardoned for his crimes under HYDRA, people always had that underlying fear that Bucky would revert to his ways with HYDRA and the Avengers would be unable to do anything about it. Luckily for him, the people of New York only ever recognized him when his vibranium arm was on full display. After all, not that many people in New York sported a vibranium arm and a perfected scowl.

        After careful consideration, he decided to ditch the glove for the day and hope the jacket would cover up the arm the way he wanted it to. After all, he was just heading to y/n’s apartment and he would head back to the compound.

       He pulled his—well, it used to be Steve’s before the old man gifted it to him—motorcycle keys off the hooks on the wall and headed to the parking basement where he kept his beloved Harley Davidson. He mounted the bike and sped off, following the directions in which the GPS directed him through.

       A grin found its way to the super soldier’s face. He was brought back to his younger days as he and Steve rode through the busy streets of Brooklyn whenever the Howling Commandoes didn’t have any missions to partake in—which was pretty rare. He felt young and carefree as his wind blew through his dark locks.

       He remained like that for a while; in a state of nostalgia and an uncharacteristically happy grin on his face as he dashed through the busy streets. He only broke out of it upon hearing FRIDAY’s voice announcing that he was at his location; a shockingly large apartment complex.

       “Shit,” he swore upon realizing y/n would be a bit tougher to locate than he thought. He didn’t think y/n��s life outside the tower would be as glamorous or at least not boring as it was. He was, of course, proved wrong at the sight of the massive building. Did y/n live in an apartment or a condominium?

       Luckily, as Bucky entered the buildings (after having some complications with the metal detector, of course) he noticed there was a concierge stationed at the front desk. He silently prayed to whoever was listening that the lady stationed there would tell him which floor and which apartment number he could find y/n in.

       “Good morning, sir, what can I help you with?” the lady—she couldn’t have been a day over thirty—greeted Bucky, a soft smile on her face.

       “Hi, uh, I’m here for y/n l/n. Do you know what unit she’s in?” Bucky questioned, leaning closer to the desk. He didn’t want to raise his voice; the whole lobby of the complex just seemed like such a peaceful place he didn’t want to disrupt.

       “Just a moment sir,” the woman smiled before dialing a number on the telephone and speaking to who he just assumed was y/n, “She’s in unit 8E on the eight floor, sir.”

       “Thank you,” Bucky smiled as he headed into one of the thankfully empty elevators. He didn’t know why, but since his first elevator ride, he always found riding an elevator—an enclosed metal box—with a stranger filled him with unease.

       Bucky arrived at the beige-carpeted hallway of the building as he passed by the abstract paintings hung on the wall and the doors with the unit number engraved in them. A, B, C, D; he passed by them all until he reached y/n’s door. He brought his fist up to the door before realizing there was a slight racket going on from within the door.

       That was when he panicked; was his teammate in trouble? No, there would’ve been more noise if y/n really was in trouble. Of all the times he’d worked with her, y/n was known to let out a battle cry here and there whenever she got into a physical confrontation.

       He relaxed, flicking his wrist against the smooth wooden door and waiting a moment for it to swing open and reveal a very tired-looking y/n who carried a wailing toddler in her arms.

       “You’re not the gelato guy,” y/n frowned, pulling a chuckle from Bucky.

       “And there’s no way in hell you’re y/n. You didn’t tell me you had a kid!” Bucky exclaimed, shocked at what he was seeing.

       “First of all, we aren’t close enough for me to disclose that kind of information with you. Second, she’s not mine. Well, she kind of is but not really,” y/n shrugged, “wait, why are you here?”

       “You borrowed my van,” Bucky raised a brow as he crossed his arms.

       “Oh yeah, you might want to take a seat, though. I know it’s somewhere here, but the past days have been pretty hectic,” y/n chuckled dryly, stepping aside and letting Bucky into her apartment. The action itself shocked him a little. In all his days living with y/n, she’d never once invited him into her room or any room she was in whenever he needed something. On a normal day, she would’ve shut her door for a while and opened it as she chucked the item right at him before slamming the door shut again.

       Bucky took in his surroundings; y/n’s apartment looked as though it was supposed to be a peaceful place. The spacious apartment’s furnishings matched those of the compound’s, yet it all felt more like an actual home compared to the compound.   However, it didn’t take him long to realize some things were placed where they weren’t supposed to.

       There were articles of clothing on the floorboards, a toy or two there, a pack of diapers in the corner of the room, and a child wrapping his arms around a sobbing teenage girl on the couch. Wait, a child and a teenage girl? How many people did y/n live with?

        He awkwardly took a seat on one of the seats by the plush velvet sofa, trying to avert his gaze from the two on the couch near his seat. His super soldier hearing, however, betrayed him as he heard every sob and every word that fell from the teenager’s lips.

       “I just can’t believe it!” the girl sobbed, her eyes red and puffy.

       “It’s gon be okay, Livvy. Mommy’s gonna go back,” a smaller voice came to comfort her. A smile found its way to Bucky’s face as he heard the child’s attempt to comfort ‘Livvy’. God, it had been so long since he’d seen that kind of innocence in his life.

       “I found your keys,” came y/n’s voice from behind him as she pressed the cold metal against his flesh hand.

       “Did you kidnap these kids with my van?” Bucky quipped, his brows furrowing as he watched the interaction happening on the couch.

      “Look, I’ll explain everything later if you end up sticking around. I’m too tired to even banter with you at this point,” y/n shook her head. As if on que, a knock came at the door and she swung it open to reveal the gelato guy!

       “So, you’re fine with me just, staying here?” Bucky raised a brow in suspicion.

       “Join us for breakfast if you want to. Just, try not be such a pain in the butt, Barnes,” y/n sighed. Bucky noticed how uncharacteristically tired she sounded. With a small nod, he took a seat at the dining table in her kitchen area. It wasn’t like he had much for breakfast, what harm could a little more food do?

i hate you but taglist: @sarcastic-britt​​ / @kmuir1​​ / @shower-me-with-roses​​ / @justab-eautifulmess​​ / @thomasthetankson​​ / @x-abi-sharp-x​​ / @intovert-gone-wild​​ / @brittanymcsharry​​ / @leaving-the-past-behind​​ / @xoxabs88xox​​​ / @mylifeiscrazy0423​​​ / @howliebucky​​​ / @i-cry-so-much​​​ / @witchything​​ /   @naimalove143​​ / @simplybarnes​​ /

Forever tags: @spatium-viatorem​​​​ / @sxphiiwrld​​​​ / @strangersstranger​​​​ / @nerdy-bookworm-1998​​​ / @cutie1365​​​ / @valeriiaaass​​ / @adorkably​​ / @whatinthyworld​​ /

MARVEL TAGLIST: @captainamerica-is-bae​​​

BUCKY TAGLIST: @missmidnightxo​​​ / @tinymalscoffee​​ / @howliebucky​​ /

[translations-by-aiimee]

Dig a Grave to Dig Out a Ghost - Chapter 24

Original Title: 挖坟挖出鬼

Genres: Drama, Horror, Mystery, Supernatural, Yaoi

This translation is based on multiple MTLs and my own limited knowledge of Chinese characters. If I have made any egregious mistakes, please let me know.

Chapter Index

Chapter 24 - Inside Story

"Sorry." Lin Yan mumbled to the boy's back. He wasn't sure why. No one could see Xiao Yu, which always made him a little anxious. Lin Yan hesitated and for the first time took the initiative to reach out and touch Xiao Yu's statue-like fingers and whispered, "It's lonely, isn't it? Of all the people in the world, I'm the only one who can see you and I treat you badly."

Lin Yan stared at the endless highway outside the window and sighed: "Sometimes I think that, if a person walks down the street but seems invisible, desperately waving and no one responds, desperately shouting and no one hears, this feeling will definitely drive a person crazy. When I sit alone in the study room, I often feel that everyone’s excitement has nothing to do with me. I can’t wait to rush into the crowd and shout that I’m dying alone. If there is a person, no matter who he is, just that he's willing to listen to me patiently, I would have held on to him with a death grip; a sad, loving and even desperate grip."

"But I can't tell anyone. No one wants to admit that they're lonely. They always put on a show to satisfy their pride. They show off their awesome life to others while crying behind closed doors. People are such strange creatures."

Xiao Yu lowered his eyes and grabbed Lin Yan's hand. He put it to his lips and kissed lightly, as if comforting.

Lin Yan turned his head silently. The children at the snack bar were making noise, and the street shop windows were covered with small heart-shaped papers of various colours. Lin Yan looked through a few of them, and some of them were written in highlighter about who they love and who they're waiting for. Some wrote blessings to pass the exam. They were notes of immaturity and youthfulness, the purest and most beautiful wishes.

Everyone had their own wish, whether it was simple or complicated. Their dissatisfaction with their lives making them write out their wishes on paper, hoping that one day the gods can see them. Lin Yan thought silently, people who don't know each other always shine brightly, but only when they are familiar with them do they know their weaknesses. Just look at him, his family was well-off and well educated, but he had never dared to admit that he didn't like girls; look at Yin Zhou, he's from a perfect family but only willing to be a prince in the virtual world; then there's A-Yan, who can't even be a normal person in the eyes of others. Lin Yan gave a wry smile, who would listen to their prayers?

Probably because of the high school student's whistleblower, a group of children at the next table were pointing at him. Someone said something about being a psychopath. Lin Yan smiled indifferently. He took a note from his pocket and wrote a line: "I hope I can successfully help Zhou Jintian find his father." He put the note under a piece of fluorescent paper with a heart drawn on it.

He heard about a child's wish today.

He, Yin Zhou, and A-Yan had snuck into the morgue to search for answers after finding the boy’s record. The old man at the door was basically deaf. Lin Yan yelled the three syllables of the kid's name so loudly and the old man didn’t hear him. A nurse doing some cleaning suddenly intervened and asked him if the child hadn't left yet. He put down the broom and said pitifully.

"I know that kid, his grandma and I are neighbours. His mother died a few years ago. His father was too busy with work to care for him. The child lived with his grandma. One time Jintian had a severe fever and his father came back to see him. Jintian never forgot about it. One day while his grandmother was not there, he fell off of a balcony on the third floor, thinking that his father would be able to accompany him to see a doctor if he fell. As a result, the child lived a short life. His internal organs ruptured and caused heavy bleeding, and he passed away after a few days after being sent to the hospital."

"The ashes are buried in the most expensive cemetery in our city. I went there on the day of the funeral. It's a pity that his father was on a business trip abroad. He didn't rush back to collect the body until two days after his son's death. He didn't see him in the end." The nurse sighed. "I heard that the child kept asking about why his father wasn't coming in his confusion. The doctor lied to him that he was already on his way. As a result, the child lay on the bed and looked out the window every day, and even kept his eyes open when he died."

This story made Lin Yan feel a little heartbroken, but A-Yan said that this kind of soul was easy to deal with. There was no resentment and didn't want to harm anyone. As long as he found the person he was obsessed with and burned paper in front of the grave and talked with him often, he should be gone. But the child’s ghost was the most simple and persistent. If that person didn't come, the child would turn into a grieving spirit after waiting for a long time, which was extremely difficult to deal with.

"G-Ghosts have more of a heart." A-Yan was rather lost when she said this.

Ding. Lin Yan's cell phone went off. Yin Zhou sent Zhou Mo's detailed address and contact information. He turned out to be a local, living in the most remote area of ​​the city, about a three-hour drive away. Lin Yan swallowed the last bite of his spicy and sour noodles and threw the nuts in the soup into his mouth. He curled his lips and said to Xiao Yu: "Let's go. This time, the task is to help the kid find his father. It is much easier than dealing with you."

As he spoke, he grabbed his wrist and walked out, and couldn't help but blow a whistle and laugh as he drove, thinking that if only all the troubles were like today. No matter how bad his luck was lately, his family was always warmly affectionate.

Zhou Mo's family was at the fine line between the urban and rural areas. When he arrived at the destination indicated on his GPS, Lin Yan thought he had gone to the wrong place. In front of him was a rather imposing villa with a sign on the door of a European-style courtyard: private residence, outdoor surveillance. Lin Yan couldn't help being secretly stunned. For a man who owns such a house in this rich city, even if his child is hospitalized in the United States, he was rich enough to go back and forth every day. How could he not even get back to see his child for the last time?

He parked the car outside the courtyard. Lin Yan woke up Xiao Yu, who was dazed in the passenger seat, coaxed him and said: "I know you're upset when I drive you away, but this is something I need to do well, so don’t make trouble later, alright?" He leaned on the cushions and said casually: "I really understand the little boy's mood. When I was a child, my parents were also busy. I only go home once a week. I would cook my own food and sleep on my own. I was afraid of the dark and I always wanted my parents to suddenly come back."

"But I know my parents also missed me. Although they were busy, they didn't forget to buy a bunch of delicious foods every time they went home." Lin Yan changed his position and lay on his side, catching a strand of Xiao Yu's hair. He circled it around his fingers and said excitedly: "Although people and ghosts are different, a father-son reunion is always something to look forward to, right?"

Xiao Yu nodded. He pecked his lips on Lin Yan's face, and slowly said, "Let's go."

"Young Master Xiao, you're finally willing to talk to me. It's so hard to please you." Lin Yan muttered and opened the car door.

The owner’s yard was very delicately maintained, with various seasonal flowers in full bloom. He could smell the warm fragrance floating in the summer night while he waited outside the door. Not far away, there were many koi squeezed close to each other in a shallow pool, the sound of water splashing when they shook their heads and tails making people feel unspeakably calm and relaxed.

Lin Yan waited for a few minutes. A woman dressed as a nanny ran out of the villa and looked at him vigilantly through the hollow courtyard gate. Lin Yan explained that he had come because of Zhou Jintian, and the nanny ran back again. This time it took a full 20 minutes for the door to open. Lin Yan adjusted his shirt and walked across a path paved with pebbles. He rang the doorbell of the small building.

With a squeak, the Victorian-style heavy wooden door opened a gap, and a middle-aged man poked his head out of the door and hesitated: "You are?"

Lin Yan smiled politely: "My name is Lin Yan, a student at X University. You're Mr. Zhou, I came for your son Zhou Jintian." He said respectfully and handed over his student card. The owner checked in confusion, and after confirming that there was no problem, he opened the door a bit wider, but still had no intention of letting him in.

"My son just passed away some time ago. What do you want?"

Although it was backlit, Lin Yan still saw the typical businessman expression on the middle-aged man’s face; snobbishness, arrogance, and calculating. He only wore a purple bathrobe with a belt tied loosely around his waist. His chest was exposed and his body was slightly fat, but he could see that he had a good foundation when he was young. Now there was a bit of fat under his ears, so he didn't like to exercise, or his only exercise was golf.

A rich man covered in his armour.

"I'm sorry about your son. It's like this. I have a relative who's hospitalized in L Hospital. . ." The crystal ceiling lamp in the main hall of the villa was shining and blinding. Lin Yan tried to organize the thoughts in his mind, but the middle-aged man suddenly interrupted him. "You work somewhere, right? I paid all the money that should be paid to the school, the hospital and the cemetery bills have also been settled, and I don't owe anything to the commissary, so what are you doing here?"

Lin Yan hurriedly explained: "No, no, you misunderstand. It's not about money. I know this sounds ridiculous and you might not believe it, but your son's ghost is still in the hospital and he's waiting for you to visit him."

The middle-aged man's expression grew strange, and he held the doorknob as if he was about to close the door: "You're sick. What about my son's ghost? Jintian was buried long ago."

Lin Yan frowned. How could such a father exist? Hearing something about his son, even if it wasn't reliable, there was no way he could just immediately disregard it.

"This is the case; do you know why Jintian had an accident? He always felt sorry that you didn't get to see him before he died. Up to now, his soul has been unwilling to move on. He's attached to my relative's daughter waiting for you to come back. You may not understand, but a little girl being possessed by a ghost is in a dangerous situation." Lin Yan gesticulated anxiously: "Just like in the movies."

"If you don't go, Jintian's ghost will never be able to reincarnate. After a long period of time, not only will he suffer, but he may also harm others. When that time comes, for the safety of my relatives and her daughter, I'll have to disperse your son's soul." Lin Yan was in a cold sweat while talking. If he had said this kind of stuff a month ago, he would've thought he had brain damage. He thought he was cheating him out of some money, but what else could he say? Your son’s strong brainwaves caused a disorder in the hospital’s electromagnetic field, causing an innocent thirteen-year-old girl to develop hallucinations and die?

The middle-aged man frowned. He pulled his right hand back from the door frame and tightened the belt of the bathrobe: "Tell you what, I know about this. I’ve been busy lately. You can contact my secretary. Tell him how much money you want to send Jintian away, and I'll ask him to write a check."

"I said this has nothing to do with money. If you don't meet him, no money in the world could fix this!" Lin Yan really got angry this time. Was there something wrong with this guy's brain? How could he only think of money when it comes to his son?!

"Dad, what are you doing? Mom is calling you!" A five or six-year-old boy suddenly ran out from behind the middle-aged man, hugged his waist and acted like a baby. He saw Lin Yan standing at the door and started sucking his thumb, looking at Lin Yan with a pair of black grape-like eyes wide open. The middle-aged man lovingly picked up the child and placed him on his shoulders. When he looked at Lin Yan again, he put on an impatient expression.

"Who the hell do you think you are? Some mage? You're at my doorstep at night, talking nonsense, and I'm calling the police if you don't leave!"

"Who's been at the door for so long? Another bill collector? I've got no money, tell him to go the same way he came." The door was suddenly yanked open and a young woman in the purple bathrobe stood in front of Lin Yan with an imposing attitude. Her figure was slim, snowy breasts hidden behind a lace corset, and her sharp eyes were like a blade scraping Lin Yan.

Lin Yan's argument had been completely disrupted by the battle in front of him and he stammered: "Uh, I, I'm here about your son, Zhou Jintian. . ."

Before he could finish, the woman instantly changed her face and said in a high voice: "There's no end to this. How much money has been spent on the seed left behind by that yellow-faced woman? From the best hospitals to the most expensive graves; his son cut his own life short and didn't fight to survive, yet he's still shoving his way into our lives?" After speaking, the little boy was shoved in front of Lin Yan: "Okay, this is my son, he's the only one!"

After speaking, she didn't care about her husband's ugly face and slammed the door with a bang.

Lin Yan clenched his fists and stood in the dark doorway, chills in his heart.

He didn't know how he got back into the car, but when he looked out the window, he felt that the whole villa suddenly became ugly, and even the blooming roses in the yard looked like abscesses. He never believed that there were parents like this that existed. He thought that familial love was the warmest, strongest and most unshakable emotion in the world, but this time he really saw the indifference and coldness of the human heart.

Don’t test humanity, don’t, because it was simply unbearable. Lin Yan sat in the car seat and tried to slow his breathing, but his anger still grew, and all Xiao Yang's grieving and crying face appeared in front of him. How much did a child need to miss his father to have the courage to jump off of a third-story building? If his spirit in heaven knew what had unfolded here today, would he feel like his death was all for nothing?

Lin Yan slammed his fist heavily against the steering wheel.

A cold hand lightly touched his face. Lin Yan twisted his head and said hoarsely, "Xiao Yu, don't mess with me. I don't want to coax you now, I just want to beat someone up." He kicked the clutch hard and said: "Fuck this guy!"

Xiao Yu patiently tugged Lin Yan's wrist and wrenching his shoulder to make him face him. His eyes were vicious: "What do you want to do?"

"What can I do? Go back and let A-Yan find a way to make the little brat forget that he has a father!" Lin Yan gasped.

Xiao Yu shook his head, glanced at the outline of the villa in the night, and slowly said, "I'll do it."

"You mean. . ." Lin Yan looked at Xiao Yu blankly, and suddenly understood what he meant. After a long silence, he bit his lower lip and said, "Before this, I always thought I was kind, that there was nothing I couldn't bear, but. . ." Lin Yan stared at Xiao Yu: "I just want to be a fucking asshole! He deserves it!"

"Xiao Yu, I don't care what tactics you use. Before noon tomorrow, I want to see him come to the hospital to apologize to his son!" Lin Yan said viciously in the dark cab.

Xiao Yu squeezed his hand and whispered, "Don't worry."

[omg-imagine]

⊱ Forget Me Not (9/15) ⊰

Pairing: Keanu Reeves x Reader

Summary: After you wake up from a coma and realize that your memories from the last five years have been erased, Keanu works to bring back what you have lost.

Words: 5k oops

Warnings: language, angst and implied smut 

A/N: Sorry for the wait! I do hope you enjoy this chapter since it’s my favorite one to write so far. I mentioned before there was going to be actual smut in this but decided to leave it out since I didn’t want this drag this chapter out. Anways, let me know what you think!

Part 8

“You look stunning.”

Through the vanity mirror, you spotted Keanu standing in the open doorway, his arms folding across his chest and the corner of his lips lifting into a half-smile. Slowly, you turned your head around, noting how exceptionally handsome he looked in a classic black blazer and trousers. With his dark hair neatly brushed and beard freshly trimmed, you simply could not pry your eyes away from Keanu, who merely chuckled in amusement.

Crossing the room in three long strides, neither Keanu could stop himself from staring at you. After rummaging through your closet for what seemed like hours, you settled on a gorgeous navy blue dress to wear for the evening, a choice now deemed right considering the approving expression on his face.

Smirking up at him from your seat, you heard Keanu repeat his earlier statement as he reached down to grasp your hand before kissing each knuckle tenderly.

Life was falling into place, it seemed, even after Keanu’s revelation about your rocky relationship with him before the accident. As you held him quietly that evening in the overlook, an area once dear to your heart, you contemplated fully on what he had told you.

Even though things hadn’t been the way you thought they were and Keanu had kept it from you for weeks, you couldn’t bring yourself to be mad at him.

The present outweighed the past. You couldn’t remember how you felt in that situation, and all you had now were the memories of Keanu treating you nothing but the best. He hid the truth in fear of losing you, and after learning what he’s been through, you didn’t want to be another heartbreak he’d have to endure.

So, you forgave Keanu. Giving second chances to others was difficult for you because of previous relationships, but you strongly believed it was the right thing to do when it came to him.

And you had not an ounce of regret since.

“I’m not even done with my makeup,” you giggled softly, causing Keanu to shake his head.

“You don’t need makeup,” he said, his voice filled with pure affection. “You’re beautiful without it.”

Warmth rose to your cheeks as your eyes met his radiant ones. “Well, I want to look my best. We’re celebrating a very special occasion tonight.”

Keanu shot you an incredulous look. “Turning 56 is hardly special, darling. It just reminds me how old I’m really getting.”

“Hey, 56 is far from old,” you countered, ignoring the small pout he was giving you. “If it makes you feel any better, you get sexier with age.”

“Huh, is that what you believe?”

“Yup,” you replied, winking at him. “And I’m always right.”

You didn’t miss the blush invading Keanu’s face before he dipped down and pressed his warm, sensuous lips to yours. The two of you kissed slowly, deeply, and passionately. His tongue gently probed your mouth open as your hands tightly clenched the lapels of his jacket, pulling his upper body in much closer. All coherent thoughts vanished as you lost yourself in the kiss, drowning in both his intoxicating scent and the taste of him on your lips.

Despite the burning desire for the other in the last few weeks, you and Keanu had yet to become intimate due to a mutual decision to take your relationship slow. Though as time went on, it had only gotten more challenging to control yourselves. You wanted to wait for the perfect moment, but with the way things were going now, you had an inkling that it was coming soon.

Pulling away, you heard Keanu let out a groan in frustration similar to yours. “We’ll be late for our dinner reservation.”

“Do we have to go out?” He whined. “We could just stay in, order some take-out, and watch a movie.”

“Ke, I’ve planned this night for the last two weeks,” you revealed, not sharing precisely what the evening entailed. “Trust me, you’re going to enjoy yourself.”

“I don’t even know where you’re taking me.”

Laughing, you then shifted forward again and applied the final touches to your makeup, topping it off with a thin swipe of red lipstick. “I can’t tell you because it’s part of the surprise.”

“Fine,” he playfully sulked, smoothing out the wrinkles that you had made on his clothes. “I do hope this surprise of yours is good.”

With one last glance at your reflection, you grabbed your phone nearby and checked the text you received five minutes ago.

Everyone’s here. Let me know when you’re on your way.

“Who’s that?” Keanu attempted to look over your shoulder, but before he could see anything, you had already sent a response and placed your cell inside of your bag.

“No one,” you answered nonchalantly, facing him. Your fingers then reached up at his head to fix the locks that fell out of place. For a brief moment, you studied Keanu’s face, your heart instantly fluttering as his warm and adoring chestnut-hued eyes gazed at you. You could tell that he’s in deep thought, and you wondered what he could be thinking about. “Ke?”

“Oh, sorry,” he muttered, snapping out of his momentary daze. “Shall we go?”

“Yeah, but is everything okay?”

Licking his lips, he quickly shook his head and flashed you a reassuring smile. “Of course, everything’s great. I can’t wait to see what you have planned.”

“I can’t wait either.”

“Hang on,” he called out as you started walking away, his hand slipping into yours. Turning around, you stood there as Keanu closed the gap between the two of you, quickly giving you a chaste kiss before stepping back. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Ke,” you spoke, ending the sentence with a small chuckle. “At least, not yet.”

“I know, but I just want to thank you for everything.”

Sighing contentedly, a soft smile appeared on your face. Keanu deserved a good time tonight, and you hoped that what you had planned would give him that.

---

The ride to the address you had plotted on Keanu’s GPS wasn’t too far away, but it felt as though he had been driving for a long while. He did notice how secretive you’ve been acting recently, and he guessed that this had something to do with it. You insisted he dress up nicely for the birthday dinner you had set up at an unknown venue, not divulging any further information no matter how often he pestered you.

With one hand gripping on the steering wheel while the other held yours, Keanu was relieved how normal life had turned out to be now. The two of you had finally fallen into a comforting routine. The day would usually start off with cooking breakfast together and then dropping you off at work before he headed to his. When the end of the day arrived, he would pick you up and have dinner at home. The weekends were typically reserved for romantic dates around LA, just a special time for you and him.

With a sigh, Keanu thought about how extremely grateful he was that you weren’t angry after finding out part of what had happened. You were quite forgiving of him, reminding him again of how unworthy he was of you.

It was unfortunate that he’d learned to somewhat cope with the guilt inside. To help him forget, even if it were only for a fleeting second, he would shower you with all the love and affection he had. He’d focus on the brand new moments you were creating together, pushing away the past to the back of his head and begging it would stay there until he’s ready to own up to his mistakes.

But that’s if Keanu chose to do so.

“The restaurant is just up that hill,” you pointed out eagerly, and he could feel your utter excitement as he turned up the gravelly road.

Keanu had never been to this place before, but it looked pretty nice based on the rustic exterior. Pulling up to an available spot, he noticed that there were only a few cars parked, not nearly filling up half of the lot. It was only Wednesday, and he figured the restaurant wasn’t as busy in the middle of the week.

“How did you find this?” He questioned as he turned off the engine and unbuckled his seatbelt.

“I did a lot of searching on Yelp and came across this hidden gem.”

Getting out of the car, Keanu swiftly jogged to the passenger side and opened the door for you, extending his palm out for you to take.

“And they say chivalry is dead,” you quipped as you stepped out, your hair blowing in the gentle summer breeze.

“It never kills to be a gentleman,” he returned, offering to you his arm afterwards but you held out a finger signaling him to wait. “What’s wrong?”

Quickly, you pulled out a blindfold from your purse and held it out for Keanu to see. He was confused at first until you finally explained. “I’m going to put this around your eyes before we head inside.”

Keanu furrowed his brow at you. “What’s it for?”

“It’s a surprise,” you only said before coming to stand behind him and covering his eyes with the opaque fabric in your hand. “Don’t peek or else.”

Fastening the tie’s ends securely on the back of Keanu’s head, your right hand then loosely wraps itself around his bicep, the left gently settling on his lower back. Carefully, you guided him down the path leading to the building’s entrance. He couldn’t see through the blindfold, but he could sense everything else. From the heat radiating from your soft touch to the aromatic scent of your perfume, it all resulted in the warmth spreading across Keanu’s chest.

You always had that effect on him, and he believed he would never get used to it.

Halting your movements, Keanu heard the sound of a heavy door opening, followed by silence. Slowly, you entered the restaurant, his footsteps echoing on the floorboards with each small step. The sudden quietness was unusual, but before he could ask what was going on, you untied the knot of the blindfold and peeled it away from his eyes, his vision soon adjusting to the lights inside where he recognized the beaming faces staring back at him.

“Happy birthday!” The group shouted out loud as lively music began to play through the speaker, catching him by complete surprise.

Surrounding him were his close-knit group of family and friends, some whom he hasn’t seen in a while. Hugging his mother first before moving on to his sisters, Keanu was genuinely touched by your kind gesture. He did not expect you to gather the people near and dear his heart on his birthday. Glancing to you, he saw you smiling at him.

“Surprise!” you chirped once he got through saying hello to each of the guests and finally having a minute alone with you. “I got you, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, you did,” he replied, leaning down to press a kiss on your cheek. “You planned all this?”

“Not entirely,” you said before pointing behind him. Keanu turned his head and saw her. “Molly helped me call up everyone and organize this whole get-up. But it’s my idea to surprise you with a dinner party for your birthday.”

“T-That’s sweet of you,” he stammered, his gaze returning to yours. “Thank you, Y/N. You didn’t have to do all of this.”

“Don’t sweat it, Ke. I also thought it was a great time to meet your family, too.”

“So, do you want me to introduce you to everyone?” Keanu suggested, hoping it would keep him occupied so that Molly couldn’t approach him for now, at least. It was the first time they had seen each other since that night.

“Sure,” you said with a nod, much to Keanu’s relief.

Gently, he took your hand and made his way around the room with you. Those attending knew about the accident and your amnesia, and were glad to see you were doing alright. Meanwhile, Keanu stood there beside you for the first half-hour, watching you interact with your friends and as well as his family. It helped him forget about Molly for a little bit, who was busy chatting with someone else. Although he knew she wouldn’t say anything to ruin the night for you, he was confident that she would bring the topic up to him.

When it came time to sit down and eat, Keanu was distracted enough to enjoy himself. The interior was lively, decorated with balloons, flowers, and banners. His favorite chocolate cake was displayed on a stand, a specific type that only you and he knew. It left Keanu wondering if it was merely a coincidence, or perhaps deep down, you do remember despite not even realizing it.

Sitting on his right side, you laughed at all of the stories being shared over the table, which was pure music to his ears. It warmed Keanu’s heart seeing you that way, so happy and having fun. You had gotten along with everyone quite easily and had even bonded quickly with his sisters, already scheduling a date set up for next week to have lunch in the city.

Again, life seemed normal. It was as if the fights didn’t happen, or the angry words were never exchanged. Your relationship felt like it was back at its best, where the love was at its highest.

From time to time, he would imagine how things would be if the last six months had been different. Way back then, you had brought up marriage maybe once or twice. Perhaps if Keanu hadn’t screwed up, he might have proposed by now, and you would have said yes.

But nothing lasts in this world, he reminded himself. It was the very same reason he tried to convince himself when he had hurt you.

Lost in his own thoughts, Keanu didn’t notice you whispering his name as you squeezed his thigh. “You okay?”

“I am,” he smiled, his hand reaching down to hold yours.

“Just making sure,” you added sweetly. “I’m heading to the bar to order a drink. Do you want me to get you something?”

“No, I’m good, but stay here. Let me get one for you.”

Nodding, you watched as Keanu stood up from his seat, moving the white napkin from his lap to the surface of his empty plate. “You’ll get my usual?”

“Vodka martini?” He recalled almost instantly, a flicker of a smile passing his lips.

“You know me so well,” you responded, and Keanu excused himself to head to the bar area at the back.

As Keanu waited for the drink to be made, he felt a soft tap on his shoulder, and he turned around, seeing Molly standing behind him with arms now crossed against her chest. With a sigh, his eyes fell to the ground. She had been waiting for a moment alone with him all night, and now she finally got one.

“Where’s Will?” Keanu questioned monotonously.

“Business trip. He did call you this morning to greet you, right?” The blonde replied, her piercing blue eyes studying his stance intently.

“He did,” he gruffly answered, his gaze remaining downcast. “How have you been?”

Molly exhaled deeply. “You and I both know you don’t really care for small talk, especially after what happened.”

“Can’t you just let it go?” Keanu suddenly shot a glare up at Molly to silence her. “Y/N’s finally adjusted to her new normal, and the last thing she needs is…”

“Is what Keanu? For the truth to be hidden from her? You don’t want her to find out how much you’ve really fucked up, and that’s not how you treat someone you love,” she snapped in a hushed tone. “She told me that you said the two of you were on the verge of breaking up before the car crash. Good for you telling her half the story. When are you going to tell her the rest of it?”

Gritting his teeth, Keanu met Molly’s unrelenting stare. “It’s none of your business, Molly.”

“It is my business because I was involved,” she retorted, her patience wearing out. “I understand that you care about her, and knowing her past with Eric, she’s not going to take this one lightly, unlike what you’ve already said.”

“She’s going to walk out on me if I tell her.” Keanu’s voice was low as he eventually relaxed, realizing that it was pointless to be mad. “You haven’t mentioned…?”

“Nothing,” Molly declared with a small shake of her head. “It hurts to keep that kind of a secret, Keanu. Hell, it tears me apart knowing I’m hiding one from Y/N, but she has to know soon. You can’t continue pretending that everything’s rosy when it’s not.”

“And you’re going to tell her if I don’t?” Keanu inquired, looking out into the dining room where he saw you taking pictures with his mother. She would be utterly disappointed in him if she too found out what he had done. He wasn’t raised to be this kind of person.

“Y/N’s my friend, Keanu. Friends don’t keep secrets from each other,” Molly sighed out. “I told her you were a good guy, but what you’re doing is selfish. She deserves to know the truth, and the longer you wait, the worst it’ll turn out to be. What if her memory returns all of a sudden? What are you going to do then?”

Silence. Keanu couldn’t answer because he honestly didn’t know what he would do. If your memory came back, it would be like losing you all over again…

“Just think about it. Look, I’ll give you a week to confess to Y/N or else I’m stepping in. You’ve dragged this on for far too long, but she really needs to hear this from you, not me.”

Receiving no response, Molly sauntered past him afterwards, her heels clicking across the floor, fading in the distance. Keanu stood there, frozen in front of the bar and left alone with his thoughts again. As he glanced at you from afar, all he could focus on was how unfair this situation was. He was content with the way things were now. Your loving relationship had been restored, though buried beneath it was a terrible lie.

Walking back to the table with your martini in his grasp, Keanu couldn’t see himself breaking your heart once more, but he had to do it. Molly had called him out on his selfishness, and the more he pondered about it, the more he understood where she was coming from.

“Thank you, baby,” you smiled as Keanu handed you the glass, your fingers brushing against his delicately.

“You’re welcome,” he returned, meeting your eyes.

Eyes which had yet to see the real him.

You didn’t deserve the real him.

At some point during the party, Keanu snuck out of the restaurant, the guests too tipsy to realize that the celebrant had gone missing. It had become a bit overwhelming back inside, and he needed a minute alone in peace.

The sun had finally set behind the distant mountains, bathing the entire scenery in the heavenly glow of twilight. Keanu found himself standing by the edge of the hill and admiring the view, holding a lit cigarette in his hand. Molly’s words echoed in his mind, tormenting his head and his heart as the guilt showed itself again.

He was selfish. Selfish for hiding the truth. Selfish for lying to you. Selfish for putting himself before you.

Everything he has done was for his own selfish reasons, not because he loved you. Or at least, that’s what it was beginning to feel like.

Keanu wasn’t sure if he could keep up with this charade, and now that Molly had given him one week to come clean, he knew that time was ticking. The end he dreaded was drawing near.

“Ke?”

Glancing over his shoulder, he saw you walking towards him. “What are you doing out here?”

Keanu released one last puff of grey smoke into the open air before dropping the cigarette to the ground and crushing it out. He never liked smoking whenever you were nearby. “I just was getting some fresh air.”

“You’re not a big party guy, are you?” You asked once you reached him.

“Not really,” he muttered truthfully. “What you did was very thoughtful, and I can’t thank you enough. It got a bit chaotic back there, and I needed a quick break from it.”

“That’s what happens when you have an open bar all night,” you chortled, leaning against Keanu, who slung his arm around you. “Are you sure everything’s okay?”

“Yes,” he assured, pressing a kiss to your temple. “You ask that a lot.”

“Hmm? What do you mean?”

“You ask if I’m okay a lot,” Keanu clarified.

You merely shrugged. “I become concerned because I don’t know what’s running through your mind sometimes. You tend to overthink and get lost in your own little world without even realizing it.”

“Nothing bad with that, right?”

“No,” you denied as you snuggled deeper into his side. “I only worry when you’re too quiet.”

Keanu hung his head low before you turned in his arms to face him. He attempted to mask the waves of emotions flitting across his face, not wanting to alarm you any further. He had forgotten how good you were at reading him, and he didn’t want to dampen your spirits.

But you cared so much about him. He didn’t deserve this.

“I just miss this, you know? I messed up and—”

You placed a finger on his lips, silencing him. “You don’t have to bring it up again, Ke. That was in the past, and you promised to move on. It won’t always be perfect between us, but that’s how we grow as people, right? Even though I don’t remember, I forgive you. I forgive you for the mistakes you’ve made.”

Standing there in Keanu’s arms, glossy eyes locked with his, he could feel his heart sinking at the way you looked at him as if he was your whole world.

He didn’t deserve this.

Keanu couldn’t wait a week despite wanting to. He knew by waiting, he would only be delaying the inevitable.

He was scared. Terrified, really. But he needed to rip it off like a band-aid and face his fears, the consequences.

Because he deserved it.

“There you guys are!” You and Keanu simultaneously turned your heads to see Molly waving at the two of you by the restaurant door. “The cake’s ready whenever you are.”

With a deep exhale, Keanu met Molly’s eyes and nodded at her once. Molly was a good woman, too. She didn’t deserve this either.

“I guess we should go back inside,” you chuckled once the blonde disappeared.

“I guess so,” he agreed quietly before stealing another kiss from you.

As you headed back to the restaurant, his hand holding yours, Keanu made his decision.

He planned to tell you tonight.

---

Stumbling through the front door, you headed straight to the living room and slumped down on the couch, your feet sore from the heels you wore all night. It was past midnight already, and the vodka martinis you downed were starting to wash away, though not entirely. Resting your eyes for a moment, you heard Keanu shut the door before ambling towards you.

“You want a glass of water?” He offered with a small smile, but you only shook your head.

“No, I’m good. Thank you,” you told Keanu. The muted glow emitting from the lamp on the glass side table cast soft shadows over his face, and you could stop thinking how beautiful he was.

And how he was yours. All yours.

Lazily, you patted the empty spot on your left, inviting him to sit beside you. With a low chuckle, Keanu lowered himself onto the couch, and immediately, you rested your head against his chest as he slipped an arm around your shoulders. The room was silent, save for the faint ticking of a clock in the background and the sound of his beating heart pressed to your ear.

“When did you realize you love me?” You blurted out the question that has been floating in your mind for some time now.

Keanu slightly shifted in his seat, his eyes focusing on the inquisitive expression on your face as you continued to gaze up at him. The corner of his mouth raised as you reached out for his hand and intertwined your fingers with his. Only then did you notice how perfectly they fit together.

“Three months after we started dating, you spent the night at my house for the first time,” Keanu fondly recounted as your joined hands came to lie above his chest. “I remember seeing you in the kitchen the next morning, flipping eggs in a pan while singing along to the radio. I had just gotten out of the shower, and you didn’t notice me, but I was there, watching.”

He paused briefly before lightly chuckling to himself. A smile broke over your lips as you pictured the scene he described. It nearly felt like a scene from a romantic movie, two lovers spending the early waking hours in each other’s company. You would do anything in the world just to be in that moment again.

“After soaking it all in, I realized how much I loved the woman standing there, dressed only in one of my t-shirts as she confidently belted out loud a tune off-key. I realized that no amount of money or success in the world could ever compare to the time I’ve spent with you. So, I said it. I told you that I loved you, hoping that I would have all of that— you— for the rest of my life.”

Fresh tears shimmered in your eyes, causing you to miss the subtle crestfallen look on Keanu. You felt the truth in his words; the warmth and affection laced in the voice he used to speak. This was what you wanted, a man who loves you wholeheartedly and without restraint. A man who could make you feel beautiful with merely a smile. A man who would sacrifice everything he has to take care of you.

Keanu was a man who has loved and lost. A man of great strength yet still had his own faults. He was all that you could ask for, and like he said, you hoped to have him for the rest of your life, too.

“Y/N, I—”

“I love you,” you interjected, not even realizing that you did. “I love you, Ke. I’ve been thinking about it the entire night, and right now, I’m sure of it.”

You detected Keanu’s initial surprise after hearing those three words, but the longer he remained quiet, the more you began to worry, though you didn’t know why.

Keanu loved you. He had said so multiple times.

Then why was he reacting as if it hurt hearing you tell him that?

Blinking twice, Keanu sat up, his back straightening against the couch. His face fell the slightest bit, his attention drifting to his secure hold of your hand, his grasp tightening before loosening as if he were ready to let go. “I-I…”

“What is it?” You asked, concern marring your face.

You heard him sigh heavily, watching his shoulder slump momentarily before peering at you through his dark lashes. Slowly, his expression softened along with his gaze. Eyes brimming with warmth, a small flicker of a smile passed across Keanu’s face.

“I-I never thought I would ever get to hear those words again,” he murmured, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, and you forgot about your previous uneasiness. “I love you, too.”

And just like that, you felt… complete.

Cherished.

Loved.

Loved by Keanu, equal to the way you loved him.

Heart swelling with joy, you retrieved your hand from Keanu’s and brought it up to cup the side of his face. He leaned into your touch, the bristles of his beard tickling your palm as you licked your lips. Eyes searching his while Keanu’s quickening breaths matched your own, you inched closer and closer until finally, you met him for a kiss.

The kiss was different than the ones you’ve shared before. Behind it was a new meaning, more profound and more special now after admitting that you loved Keanu. Fingers tangled in his silky hair as you deepened the kiss, your tongue slipped past his parted lips. His hands freely ran over the fabric of your dress almost possessively, sending you to a frenzied state of arousal.

Keanu pulled back without warning, and you caught a glimpse of his face as your chests heaved. Hair mussed, and lips swollen, you could see the fierce desire in his darkened eyes. It was unmistakable. He wanted this so badly, his self-control hanging on by a dangerously thin thread.

But you wanted it, too. You wanted it all. To feel it all.

Your hand drifted down to rest on his thigh, a breath hitching in your throat when you noticed the evidence of his arousal. With a soft squeeze, you then questioned Keanu, “Will you do it?”

“Do what?” Came his breathless response, unable to tear his pleading gaze away from yours.

“Will you help me remember how good it can feel?”

Quietly, Keanu carefully stood up from the couch before extending his hand out to you. Tenderly grasping it, you allowed him to pull you up on your feet. You could sense the heat radiating from his body as you stood close, feeling the warmth of his breath fanning over your cool skin.

“Are you sure?” He whispered, and you nodded.

“Yes,” you affirmed, peppering kisses along his jaw, only stopping when your lips reached his ear. “I want you, Ke. I want you to remind me of the love I once knew.”

Without another word, Keanu led you upstairs to your bedroom, where he spent the rest of the night showing you what it means to be truly loved.

Part 10

Tags: @penwieldingdreamer @fanficsrusz @toomanystoriessolittletime @awessomness @meetmeinthematinee @ringa-starr @ficsnroses @iworshipkeanureeves @keandrews @greenmanalishi @feminine-machinegun @thehumanistsdiary @lussdew @rdjloverxxx @flaminasteroid​ @danceoftwowolves​ @allie1804-fan

[your-worst-knightmare]

Flipping Off the Universe

Jaytemis Week 2020: Day 7: Scars/Wounds

Ao3 Link

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Artemis huffed as she sent the last thug crumpling to the ground with the hilt of her axe. Finally. Those men were annoyingly resilient. She raised her hand to the comm in her ear to contact her team-mate– the Red Hood. “You good over there, Hood?”

The audio crackled to life. She could hear him panting: he’d likely just gotten out of a brawl himself. “Yeah. Think some guy nicked me. Nothin’ too bad though.” 

Her mouth twitched. “See you at the rendezvous point?”

“I might be a minute though, Arty. Don’t wait up.” 

“Nonsense. I must see how badly you messed up your beloved jacket.” Artemis snarked, leaping from the roof of one building to the next. Jason’s uneasiness about her having to wait, although adorable, was something she had a sneaking suspicion he was using to hide an injury. Being the only human on the team, he  tended to also fill the slot for ‘most injuries’. Jason wasn’t proud of that status.

By now, Artemis had been waiting much longer than she would have liked to. Patience was never her strong suit. She spoke into her comm again. “Hood, what’s your ETA?” 

The line was silent for a few seconds. “I told you not to wait up.”

“Arrival time, Hood.”

He sighed. “Don’t know. Five minutes?”

“If you’re not here by then, I’m coming to get you. You should know, if you’re hiding another injury, you will not be able to fool me.”

“Promise not to get mad Arty?”

Artemis pressed her lips into a line. This wasn’t going to be great. “I can promise nothing.”

“Great. Well, I think I dislocated my shoulder and there’s a gash on my right arm.” 

“Okay, I’m coming to get you.”

“What–” Jason sputtered. “Come on, I’m not dying here, Red!”

Artemis rolled her eyes. “That’s not the point. Now turn on your GPS and stay put.” 

Artemis found the fearsome Red Hood leaning against a dumpster in one of many disgusting alleyways. The smell alone justified his need to have an air filter on every suit he wore. 

“You need a hand there, Hood?” Artemis asked, crossing her arms. 

He looked up sluggishly. “No, in case you didn’t hear the first hundred times...” Despite his grumbling, he let Artemis take him to her safe-house.  

She’d gotten it after she and Bizarro had returned from their unplanned ‘trip’ to one hell of another dimension. She didn’t spend mush time there, as she did tend to get lonely, and being alone with one’s thoughts, especially unwelcome ones, was never enticing. But, at the end of the day, it was still hers. 

Getting in through the window turned out to be quite the process, considering Jason’s injuries and the security measures Artemis had taken to ensure the safety of the apartment. However, after some cursing, pointless arguing and snarky comments, Jason was finally on the couch, minus his boots, helmet, holsters and jacket. 

“You know, when you said that I should come over to see your apartment, this isn’t what I had in mind,” Jason muttered.

“Oh stop complaining. What did you want, dinner?”Artemis tore off her vambraces, grabbed her box of medical supplies and sat down beside him. Happily, he’d already done her the favour of exposing his arm. At least now she wouldn’t have to hear him whine about how he had to keep repairing his suits.

“Yeah, except I’d be cooking. Let’s face it Arty, your skills are meager at best.” 

The Amazon frowned as she cleaned the wound. “You need stitches.” 

He sighed. “Figured that. Just make it quick.” 

Artemis prepped the area wordlessly. She liked to think that she was good at it. Steady breaths, in and out. She could see Jason glaring at the ceiling from her peripheral. What she didn’t like was his insistence of no painkillers. He had done nothing to not deserve the ease that they brought. But she respected his decision, as mindless as it may be, and so she continued. 

“Try not to pull these within the first week this time,” Artemis said, finishing up. 

Jason flexed his hand, once, twice. “Set the shoulder too,” he breathed. 

“Are you sure?”

He nodded, gritting his teeth. He braced himself against her as Artemis forced the bone back into place. She ignored the string of foul curses that spilled from his mouth. 

”Good?” Artemis asked, squeezing his hand. 

“Yeah.” His nostrils still flared. He ran his tongue over his teeth. “Mostly.”

Artemis grunted, finishing up setting his shoulder. “ You’re staying for the night,” she finally stated. 

“What? Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure, you oaf. You’re not invading– I brought you here.” She cracked a smile. “Besides, it’ll give you an opportunity to steal some of your wardrobe back from me.” 

“Well damn, I can’t pass up that, now can I?”

Artemis grinned, an action that was becoming increasingly more frequent. “No you can’t. Now shove over, you’re taking up the whole couch.”

Jason moved over. “You know, getting a sweater when you’re cold instead of stealing body heat from me will just be easier for both of us.” 

The Amazon curled onto the couch, huddling against Jason’s uninjured shoulder. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

____________

Despite the constant throbbing in Jason’s shoulder, he couldn’t seem to wipe that goddamn stupid grin off of his face. His sutures ached and he was sure he’d lost all circulation in foot, yet his chest swelled with contentment. 

Artemis had fallen asleep beside him, still in her uniform. She had, apparently, deemed taking a nap on top of him more important than changing into something more comfortable. Her quiet breathing blew a strand of hair from her face every time she exhaled. Jason watched for a moment before bushing it away. 

She looked peaceful, relaxed, younger even. He could picture her as a normal college student, living a normal life free of violence. The scars that ran up her bare arms told him otherwise– the life she lived, the life they lived, was quite the opposite. But what always fascinated him was how she never hid them. She was not ashamed of them.  

Jason glanced at his sutures, which was most definitely going to leave a mark. It wasn’t vanity that drove him to hate them. He knew that much. He hated the reminder that they brought. You aren’t good enough. Look what you’ve done to yourself. Look at your mistakes. He hated the mistakes that littered his body.

“Exhale, Jason.” Artemis. 

Jason obeyed. “Sorry I–”

She shushed him. “You get tense when you think too much.” She thought for a moment. “Do you wish to talk?” 

Her intuition left him silent for a moment. “It can wait until  tomorrow.. You should get some sleep anyway...” 

“That can wait.” Artemis sat up. “What has been bothering you?”

He laughed dryly. “It’s stupid... so stupid...”

She tilted her head, causing her hair to fall into her face. “And yet the fact that it bothers you negates its stupidity.”

“I guess...” Jason trailed off. He could trust Artemis. “Just... how do you deal with it?” He took a breath. Woah, make your sentences clear. “The scars, I mean. I just... whenever I see mine, I...”

“Remember where they came from?”

“Yeah, but like, in a bad way.” 

Artemis was silent for a moment. Then she took Jason’s hand and traced several scars that trailed down her back. “Outside of Bhana-Mighdall, Man’s World had a testing ground for weapons. As a girl... Akila and I used to practice there sometimes. There were... several mines still active in the area and one day...” She sucked in a breath. Jason ran his thumb over her hand, offering what little comfort he could. “We were both hit. Had to drag ourselves home by the skin of our teeth.” Artemis offered him a small smile. “ But we made it. We survived it. Yes, our stupidity was what got us into that problem, but we made it out. And we trained so that it would never happen again.”

“So you’re saying scars are your way of flipping off the universe?”

Artemis laughed. It was short, but by God, was it beautiful. “Essentially, yes.”

Jason pursed his lips, thinking. “You know, you might have been a dumb kid, but I think I got you beat.” 

She smirked. “Do you, now?”

He guided her hand to the whitened mark cutting through his eyebrow. “You don’t grow up in a city watching a kid your age jumping around on rooftops without getting some ideas. The rooftops in Park Rowe were pretty close together, so I thought it was probably as safe as I could get. I even found a mattress to act as a mat if I fell.” Jason rubbed the back of his neck, chuckling. “I was a dumb kid. So I jumped, and whoosh.” He pantomimed falling to the ground. 

“Ouch.”

“Yeah. The good thing was that I landed mostly on the mattress.” 

“What do you mean, mostly?” Artemis exclaimed. 

“Well, I hit my head on the ground. Got a concussion. And this. I was scared that I needed stitches because I knew Ma couldn’t pay for that.” 

“Alright, that was dumb, but still doesn’t match going to play in a minefield,” Artemis remarked. 

“Hey, hey, hey, don’t write me off yet Arty! Don’t forget; I stole the tires off the goddamn Batmobile and had the nerve to attack Batman for it.”

“Are you competing with me to be the dumbest Outlaw?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

They stared at each other for a moment before they both broke down laughing. Artemis was the first to regain herself. “Well, here’s to flipping off the universe.”

“Amen.”

[elseaa]

I’ll get my revenge(part one)

Here’s my work about the prompt REVENGE FIFATALIA for the @hetaliamondaychallenge

Pairings: Nedport

 Timeline: Human AU 

 Words: 995

Enjoy your reading ! 

The large school’s football field was empty, all the students were already home, Joao was alone in the middle of it. The only thing that kept him busy was running with his ball, throwing it into the goal and starting over and over again. Joao had moved to the Netherlands in the last days of August, only a few weeks earlier due to his mother's transfer because of her company. Having been forced to enroll in a school for his last year, he did not understand much in the course despite the Dutch lessons his mother gave him and the one he went to three times a week with a bad mood.

Suddenly, a tall blond was walking towards him.

-I can play with you ?

Joao turned to the voice that seemed to call him, unable to understand what the blond stranger was saying, though he suspected he was probably asking about his game.

-Yes OK. He answered stammering, unsure of himself.

-Why are you playing alone?

This time, Joao got the question, he kicked the ball to send it into the goal but Abel caught it easily with his hands.

-I have no friends. Explained the Portuguese.

-Where are you from ? Abel asked him throwing the ball back to him.

This time again, Joao didn’t understand, he just returned the ball, going with force, Abel had more trouble but managed to catch him again, which seemed to annoy Joao, the frustration visible on his face. Abel kept the ball at his foot.

-What country are you from ? He insisted.

What a country… Those were the only words Joao understood, guessing his opponent's question.

-Portugal, I lived in Lisbon.

Abel came forward with the ball towards him and threw him, the Portuguese caught him directly and could realize how tall he was, like many people in this country, unlike him, finally came in front of him, he questioned him again.

-You don't understand Dutch?

-I have language lessons, the language is complicated. said Joao.

-And if you don't have friends, it will be even harder to learn. Abel asserted.

Joao lowered his head, feeling bad that he hadn't understood the sentence again except for some words. Everything had gone so fast for him that he hadn't even had time to discover the city he had just moved to. Suddenly, Abel took the ball away from him and started running with it.

-Catch me if you can! He called out.

Joao didn't let him go, he chased him, trying to get his ball back, after arguing for a while, Joao finally had the ball at his feet, a smile on his face, probably the first since a long time. Abel didn't try to catch him, he had just pulled out his phone.

-Sorry, I'll have to go home. Said Abel.

He apologizes ? I still haven't figured out, I'm sick of it, what's the point of my classes if I can't even hold a conversation. Joao thought, looking at Abel questioningly, betraying his incomprehension.

_-I go back home! Do you understand english? _Abel asked him in english.

-Yes,a bit I'm going to my house too. He manages to say in Dutch.

Abel had already been searched for his bag, Joao's was right next to them, they walked together towards the exit of the school as their way separated, Joao turned to him, having something to say to him.

-We can play again tomorrow… Together at football. The Portuguese asked timidly.

-Nice ! I'll see if I can bring some friends and... I need a revenge. Said Abel with a smirk.

Abel then opened his phone and presented his number.

-Take my number and give me yours.

Joao wasn't expecting that at all, for a simple guy who had come to keep him company.

-Okay! Joao mumbled.

He then recorded the Dutch's number then showed him his so that he could do the same, after that, they waved to each other from afar, Joao took the path to return home, nothing easy, he had still managed to make a mistake tram, went to the wrong street and finally used the gps of his phone. While he knew Lisbon like his pocket, despite his good sense of direction, he found it harder to find his way around Amsterdam. Finally in front of his house, after many adventures.

He opened the door, took off his shoes to put on his slippers, noticing very quickly that his mother was staring at him wickedly.

-Can I know why you came home so late? His mother asked.

-I was… playing with a friend. He replied worriedly.

-Ah well, do you have a friend? That’s hard to believe you.

-I'm not lying, I'll see him again tomorrow to play football.

-Think about replying to my messages next time, I was wondering where my son had been and why you wasn’t at home ! So, come home earlier from your lessons, I prefer that, understood?

-Okay…

-UNDERSTOOD ? She insisted raising her tone

-Yes, understood! He exclaimed quickly.

Joao immediately goes up to his room and puts his backpack against his desk and lay down in his bed, could he consider this boy as friend?

-I don't even know his name ...

Suddenly his phone rang, it grabbed it quickly.

Abel had sent him a message.

                     Abel: Goedenavond, it's Abel. my friends knowing a better                   football field to play, are you interested in coming?

What's he saying ? Play, come? I think I understood but I might as well check an online translator. He thought. Joao Responded after finally figuring out all of the message he had received.

                                         Joao: Yes, I will come                   

                     Abel: Nice ! We will go together after school

Although Joao was happy enough to have had a friend, he was still anxious, still unable to understand him except for a few simple words and sentences. He turned to face his nightstand to pick up the Dutch book his mother had given him to help his learning.

-Maybe if I study tonight, maybe i’ll be able to speak better with others ?

[bbq-hawks-wings]

Um, if you’re not too busy can I please have a scenario or hcs of Hawks with a really empathetic s/o who becomes more and more worried about Hawks safety while infiltrating the league and feels upset whenever thinking about how stressed and worried he must feel too?

Hey wow, so this actually ended up being a whole-ass one shot. I was going to leave name spoilers for tomorrow, but close enough, so have fun!

 ~~~~~~~~~

“So what are plans for tonight?” You chirped over the phone whilst gathering your things for the ride home.

“Chicken and beer at the usual place?” You rolled your eyes, knowing that was how he’d answer you.

“We’ve been there four times this month, already. We can have that at home.”

“Ah, but Yasu-san’s is the best in the city!”

“If we’re going out to eat, let’s at least switch it up!”

“All right, all right. How about donburi?”

“I guess you’ll get your chicken one way or the other, huh?”

“Hey now, at least we’ll get our ow-” You heard him suddenly stop and what sounded like a swear under his breath. “Hey, babe, can I call you back? It’s, uh, work trying to get a hold of me… I’ll be back in a sec.” There was tension in his voice, perhaps an inkling of hesitation?

“O-ok.” And no sooner had the words left your mouth that you were hung up on. What was with him lately? He’d been dodgy and evasive for a while - canceling dates last minute, getting uncharacteristically possessive about his phone, and avoided talking about his day when he used to be open about it to an obnoxious degree. It had been going on for a while now and was so unlike him. 

Was… Was he cheating on you? No! There had to be other explanations…

You were snapped out of your daze by the ringtone going off in your hand. How long had you been just standing there? “Hey, sorry, babe. I know we were going to meet up and go to a place together, but I’ll have to meet you there instead.”

“Ah…” You couldn’t help but betray the sinking feeling in your gut.

“I’m sorry, angel. I know I haven’t been as available, but it’s only temporary, I promise!”

“Ok then.” You didn’t sound convinced.

“Go on and pick out a place and send it to me. I won’t be long! You know me!”

“Sure.” You hung up the phone and went over the background information you’d been accumulating over time. It had to just be in your head. The way he doted over and adored you, there’s no way he’d be cheating!

You flipped through some places to grab a bite and hovered over the button to send it to him when a thought overcame you. You had his personal email added onto your phone as a contact and in the moment you realized that you could see where he was going through his GPS.

No! It was a huge breach of privacy! You trusted him, right? And then you thought back to all the distractions he brought up whenever you confronted him about his behavior - how he always had an escape for every question you brought up.

You clutched your phone a moment before pulling up his location, the dot moving in real time as he undoubtedly was flying over the city. You weren’t sure where he was going, but you were close enough to follow, even on foot. If this all really was a misunderstanding he’d forgive you, right? And if it wasn’t… well, the ball would be in your court then. 

You gathered your things and flew as if carried on your own set of wings.

When you were stopped at a crossing, you sent him a meetup location so you didn’t seem suspicious, just out of the way enough to seem reasonable you were in the same neighborhood. 

You followed behind and even caught occasional glimpses of him high in the air at times, the red wings much harder to parse out in the setting sunlight, until finally the dot on your phone stood still and you could confirm he was at his destination. It was the back of an abandoned store?

There didn’t seem to be soul for miles around. What on earth was he doing here? Your heart pounded in your chest as you crept around to where he seemed to be - a dark alleyway that kept an already remote location away from prying eyes. You heard them before you saw them, and carefully rounded the corner to peek at what was happening. There he was, all right; but who was the hooded figure he was talking to? You couldn’t make out his face beneath the hood, but you could tell he was tall, and that whatever their relationship he and Hawks were NOT on good terms.

“-ot you what you wanted. I don’t exactly know what you plan to do with it, but I hope that just goes to show how seriously I take this.”

“Sure, sure, birdie.” He gave a shrug and a wry chuckle. “Tell ya the truth, I don’t even know what I’ll do with it.”

“Wh-” Hawks exhaled and spread his palms as if to physically drop the matter. “Let me guess, you’ll want -”

But at this point, you’d stopped noticing what they were talking about because in the course of their back and forth banter the hooded figure had glanced in your general direction, and you swore he locked eyes with you.

Something in his gaze made your more base survival instincts kick in - the kind that knows that when you’ve been caught by a life-threatening predator sometimes the best mode of action is to stay as still as possible and hope they fool themselves into believing they never saw you. And so it was for an agonizingly long time. Hawks seemed too preoccupied and distracted to pick up your racing heart, urgent breathing, and terrified quaking. You must have been panicked enough to be seeing things because you could swear that you and this mystery man shared some sinister, intimate exchange. You caught the turquoise blue color of his eyes, the slant of thin eyebrows peeking out from under straight black hair, and then you finally noticed the stitches somehow catching some stray glint of light in the twilight. Only after the last rays of warm yellow and red light tucked themselves away behind the horizon and the cool and menacing blues of the night crept out of the shadows did you finally notice the scars.

“Are you even listening to me?”

He lazily blinked and turned his attention back to the winged hero, but to you it felt as if a hand that had been clutching your throat finally let go and you did’t bother to stick around to hear the rest of their exchange. You knew not to scramble or run, it would only make you clumsy and you could not afford a mistake now! As you speed walked, careful not to stop your feet or breathe too heavily, you only caught the man’s fading reply in the background.

“Just a stray alley cat.”

You forgot about dinner plans. You forgot about everything Hawks had told you about being safe - about going to a public place and calling the police, a hero, him, anyone. You wanted to escape to the only place in your mind that felt safe at the moment, and place was home. When you felt sure enough you could bolt without being noticed you took off like a frightened rabbit and made your way home looking over your shoulder the whole way.

~~~~~

Hawks was worried when he went to your restaurant location to not see you there. He sat down, ordered a drink and sent you a text, assuming you were in the bathroom; but he couldn’t find your bag anywhere, and when he asked the staff they said no one matching your description had come into the building. One panicked assessment of the restaurant later and he confirmed that all bodies were accounted for and you weren’t one of them. He checked his phone again to see you hadn’t even seen his message yet, and you didn’t pick up when he called your phone.

In a panic, he called every acquaintance you shared to see if you’d maybe gone somewhere else as he headed to your home to check for you there. You were upset at him, right? He’d been pushing his luck keeping secrets from you without giving you some sort of reason to not suspect him. No, even in the worst cases you would at least tell him you were mad. You would never string him along like this and make him legitimately worry.

His panic rose to new heights as he got a call from a familiar number.

“What do yo-”

“I never took you as the cat type, birdy; but if I were you I’d put a bell on that little kitty in case she wanders off again.” The voice cut him off. “It’d be a shame if something happened to her. Strangers can be so cruel, after all.”

And then he hung up.

He landed on the balcony of his apartment, and fumbling with his keys he finally got the door open, ready to frantically search the apartment and call the police if it turned up empty. But thank god, there you were sitting with your arms tucked up to your knees on the couch. He barely had the mental presence to shake off his shoes when he stumbled in and threw his arms around you.

“(Y/N), my god, where have you been? What happened; I’ve been trying to reach you!”

You couldn’t look him in the eye. You gained a new sense of composure in his presence, but what you’d learned tonight weighed heavy on your mind.

“I-I…”

“What? Did something happen?”

“That was Dabi, wasn’t it?”

You could hear a pin drop in the silence. Everything was still, and the only sounds Hawks could hear was the throbbing of his own heartbeat in his eardrums.

“T-that, that was him. That was the League of Villains’ Dabi, right? The arsonist and murderer?” You rambled looking for a confirmation from him, but all that whirled in his head was Dabi’s threat. He’d seen you. He knew who you were. You weren’t safe now.

“Why were you talking with him? Are you working together?”

“(Y/N),” Hawks could barely see behind the anger and anxiety welling up in his chest. “Are you hurt, did-?”

“Keigo!!!”

He snapped to attention at his real name - only ever spoken from your lips any more. It was as if he’d been pulled from some sort of alternate dimension at the call. His vision cleared and he saw you place a hand on either side of his face as you looked him in the eye.

“Keigo… Are you working with the League of Villains?”

Oh how long had he been holding back the fear and the tension - the apprehension of how he knew he wasn’t a right fit for this mission but he had no other choice? It was all a bad dream, but it had become a night terror the moment you stepped into it. He all but collapsed into your touch as he put the pieces together in his head.

“You followed me?”

“Yes.”

“You saw him?”

“Yes, what’s going on?”

Finally, as voices calmed again and the exhaustion overtook you both, he gave you a straight answer. “Things’re bad, (Y/N). I can’t tell you much of anything, you’re too involved already; but by god if I could stop now I would.” You listened intently as he continued.

“I’m in some fucking deep shit,” The intensity and emotion escaping his lips surprised him. “and if I could back out I would. If I could wrap it up and send it off I would; but every time I think I make progress, the mark just gets further and further and further away. And today…” His voice trailed as he once more looked into your worried eyes, tears spilling over at the edges. This time he cupped your face in his hands. “Please, (Y/N), angel, I need you to promise - I need you to SWEAR that you’ll forget this ever happened. I need you to forget EVERYTHING you saw or heard. I keep telling myself this is for the best, but…” He let out a shudder, “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you to it.”

There was some shared sobs as you hugged each other, the reality of the situation growing more grave with every moment.

“I wish you were cheating on me.” 

He gave a humorless chuckle. Was that suppose to make him laugh, or were you genuinely serious? “No matter what happens, I’ll make sure you’re taken care of, I swear!”

“Don’t talk like that!”

“It’s my job, angel. I don’t have a choice. If I wasn’t before, I’m definitely going to end this as soon as possible. The only way out at this point is through.”

[pilyarquitect]

War for Genius - Chapter 22 - Help is on the way

Hello again! Here I bring you the new chapter! I’ve to say, for all those who are waiting what was the alarm of the previous chapter, I’m sorry, but this will continue being a mystery a little bit more of the time, but it’ll be revealed, I promise. I just wanted other things to come first before show it.

About this current chapter, all what can I say is that I hope you’ll enjoy it 😉

As always, I’d like to thank @empro-8 for helping me editing this story. Honestly, without her help this wouldn’t be as good as it is, so thank you very much @empro-8 you’re amazing!

Welp, I’ll stop talking and let you read the chapter, enjoy it! 😉

******************************************* 

Fenton didn't know how to contain his excitement.  Finally! The time to discover where Beaks was holding Huey prisoner had finally come! And once they had the location, they could go there and rescue him. Soon he’ll be safe again. Soon he would be at home, with his family.

When they saw Beaks deactivate his GPS, Fenton wanted to turn it back on immediately.  But Gyro stopped him, explaining it was preferable to wait a few hours because when Beaks turned off the signal, he was still in Duckburg.  That meant the CEO was most likely barely on his way.

According to Dr. Gearloose it was preferable that they reactivate the signal when they estimated that Beaks had reached his destination. Otherwise, the parrot could realize that the GPS was active again, and then discover he’d been hacked. 

Despite not liking to wait, the Hispanic duck understood that Dr. Gearloose was right. If they weren't careful, Beaks would discover them. And that might lead to them losing the only chance of finding Huey. No, Fenton wasn’t willing to take that risk. That boy… his friend, had already suffered too much under the yoke of Beaks’ sick mind. Also, the last time Beaks had his GPS turned off, he kept it offline for five days. Hopefully this time he would do the same… probably.

The intern looked at the clock, literally every five minutes, wishing time would go faster. His obvious impatience only made his co-workers, (especially his superior) more nervous.

"Do you plan to be quiet, intern?" Gyro asked annoyedly.

The Hispanic duck was momentarily surprised at his superior’s call, and looking at him with wide eyes, he timidly replied:

"What? Oh… sorry Dr. Gearloose. It's just that… do you think we could activate the GPS yet?”

Gyro gave an exasperated snort, the... twentieth if the brown plumage duck hadn't discounted. Then, the chicken narrowed his eyes at his subordinate and tensely replied:

"Not even ten minutes ago, I answered that question. The answer remains the same. NO! It’s still too soon."

With some hesitation, the Hispanic duck began:

"But it’s already been..."

Before he could look at the clock to confirm the time, Mr. McDuck's main scientist replied:

"Just a scant hour! We’ve to wait at least two or three hours. Maybe even five, to be completely sure."

Despite knowing that information, hearing it made Fenton start to grow more impatient than before. How could he bear to wait so long? No, they should definitely be able to activate Beaks’ GPS much sooner, shouldn’t they? Trying to convince his superior to activate it at that moment, the Hispanic duck began:

"But that's too much time-"

Fenton didn’t finish what he wanted to say because suddenly and unexpectedly, Gyro turned to him and angrily bellowed:

"YOU THINK I DON’T KNOW?! I am very aware of that Crackshell! But I am not going to risk it! I don’t want mistakes! And getting ahead would be a mistake!”

The Hispanic duck involuntarily recoiled at the scientist’s outburst. Certainly... he didn’t expect that, in addition, it was very unusual for him to be called by his last name. Dr. Gearloose usually preferred to call him by his job title or with some invented nickname. The use of his last name was rare and unusual... something new. But Fenton didn't want to be intimidated by what had just happened. So, he persisted in his stubbornness saying:

"Maybe yes and maybe no. Maybe Beaks hasn't even left Duckburg, or- or- maybe he could be on the outskirts, it doesn't take that long-"

"Enough!"

Dr. Gearloose's sudden scream silenced Fenton instantly. Actually, it was true that the chicken was often upset. But rarely had the Hispanic duck seen him with that extreme furious expression. It almost seemed that he was going to attack someone. It was so scary that Fenton felt his breathing speed up, fearing he would soon be the victim of a scientist’s attack.

Fortunately, Dr. Gearloose's anger seemed to calm quickly and then, speaking again normally, although a little harsh, explained:

"Look, I understand that you’re worried about that boy. I really understand. But I’ve also said that the best thing to do is wait. And that’s what we are going to do, end of discussion. Understood?"

Lowering his head, the brown plumage duck replied meekly:

"Yes, Dr. Gearloose."

After these words, Manny approached Fenton and putting a hand... er hoof on his shoulder, said:

"Clop clop clop clopclopclop clopclop (You have to be a patient friend.)"

The Hispanic duck sighed, really appreciated the gesture, but...

"I know Manny, it's just that... I... I really want to find and rescue Huey." he said sadly. The headless horse tapped the ravaged duck lightly on the shoulder as he replied:

"Clopclop clop (I know.)"

Dr. Gearloose caught their attention at the time saying:

"Oh, there’s another thing that we must remember and keep in mind. Once we have that parrot’s location, we’ll turn off the signal again. We don’t need that... pseudoscientist to realize that we’ve hacked the system."

Fenton nodded in agreement. If Beaks realized at some point that he had the GPS on, that could be disastrous. They couldn't allow that to happen. The Hispanic duck finally managed to answer:

"Yeah… of course…" 

After this brief exchange, Mr. McDuck's scientist stared at his intern closely. It really looked like he was examining him. Being scrutinized that way made Fenton nervous. He was going to express his discomfort, but Gyro beat him to it saying:

"Hey intern, it's clear we won’t be getting results for a while. So... why don't you go for a ride to do some... Gizmo-things?"

What? Did Gyro mean to kick him out? If it was because of him that they manufactured the device that allowed them to hack the Waddle system! It was Fenton who managed to open the virtual box in which they found all the intel regarding Beaks' plans! And now that they were so close to finding Huey... now he wanted to push him away? Fine! This duck wasn’t going anywhere! This is what the intern expressed saying:

"What? But Dr. Gearloose, I want to stay here, I want-”

Gyro's face changed and the furious-terrifying expression returned as the scientist shouted:

"Why is it so hard for you to obey ?!"

This time Fenton felt a chill run down his spine. His legs seemed to falter. If it weren't for the table behind him, the duck would probably have fallen to the ground. Seriously, Dr. Gearloose was really scary right now.

The experienced scientist took several deep breaths and finally explained:

"What I want is for you to clear your mind. You are too obsessed with all this, and I need you to be thinking clearly when we take the next step. That's why I want you to go away for a while. Come on! Go away."

Oh my... that was the reason... Fenton wanted to kick himself. He’d misjudged Dr. Gearloose, who only tried to help him, wanting the Hispanic duck to be prepared for when the time for the rescue came. How could he be so blind as not to see that Mr. McDuck's scientist was trying to help him? How foolish!

"Okay, okay, I'm leaving." he said embarrassedly. After these words the brown plumage duck headed towards the elevator. When he got there, he turned around and after clearing his throat, said:

"Dr. Gearloose, sorry to have behaved like a complete imbecile. I’m sorry for everything I’ve told you. Forgive me for my daring and stupidity, please.”

Fenton watched Dr. Gearloose's eyes widen in surprise. The chicken quickly shook his head and tried to cover it though. Looking away he replied:

"There is nothing to forgive. It’s normal to act so irresponsibly when someone we care about is in danger. Believe me. I’ve seen it before."

The scientist then looked at him and added:

"Actually, I was thinking you'd better not come back. I mean, we'll take care of getting the location for you. When you've cleared your mind, go see the McDuck family, dressed in Gizmoduck suit obviously. Tell them to get ready for the rescue mission and wait there for us to send you the location, so you can leave immediately."

Fenton smiled slightly. Despite not showing it, it seemed that his boss appreciated his apology. Although he didn’t understand his words when he said that he had seen it before. When? How and with whom had he seen it exactly? Well, the scientist probably wouldn't tell him, even if Fenton asked. Specially knowing that Dr. Gearloose was very reserved about certain aspects... like that, for example.

On the other hand… the proposal he’d suggested, truly could help them earn time. So, after a brief nod, the Hispanic duck replied:

"Yes Dr. Gearloose, I’ll do so."

*******************************************

Fenton left the lab and tried to clear his head.  He’d patrolled the city, stopped the Beagle Boys from stealing a jewelry store, arrested a couple of thugs who were trying to steal from helpless old ladies... yeah, ordinary hero duties.

After finishing his patrol, the robotic superhero had immediately headed to the mansion to convey Dr. Gearloose's message. No need to say that Scrooge immediately began to order everyone to prepare. He sent Launchpad to get the plane ready. To his housekeeper he ordered to prepare the equipment that she might consider necessary for the rescue. He asked his ghost butler to watch the children.

A ghost butler!

Who’d have a ghost butler? Okay, Scrooge McDuck would. To be honest, the last time Fenton was there, he was so tired that didn’t even realized that the ghost was there. And about his nephew... Scrooge asked him to calm down, because since Fenton gave them the news, the duck dressed as a sailor hadn’t been able to remain quiet or silent. He was demanding every five seconds that they should leave immediately. He couldn’t stop asking if everything was ready to go for Huey.

Seriously, seeing Huey's uncle in that state, Fenton understood why Gyro had 'kicked him' out of the lab. Donald seemed on the verge of a serious nervous breakdown, er… maybe better say, an anxiety attack? Well, whatever it was, the unintelligible-speaking duck didn't seem to be able to calm down, and his over-movement got to the point that even Scrooge had to step in saying:

"Oh, curse me kilts Donald, calm down fer once."

"But Uncle Scrooge, if we already know where Huey is, why don't we go find him now?" replied the younger of the two ducks.

Fenton felt guilty at what that duck had just said. Perhaps he hadn’t explained himself well, and now Donald believed that the superhero duck already had Huey's location? He had to clarify the situation. He did so by answering the question:

"Because we still don't know where he is."

Donald turned to look at him with a mixture of surprise and anger on his face... more anger than surprise, actually. Speaking angrily, he asked:

"What?"

Fenton raised his hands, and then explained:

"Dr. Gearloose will send us the location as soon as he has it. But until then, we have to wait."

"Does that mean that when you have the location, we’ll go find Huey?" suddenly asked an excited voice. The adults turned to the voice’s origin and there they saw the two remaining triplets, their friend and Duckworth with a worried expression on his face. It seemed (and was only an assumption) that the children had heard something about the whole thing and had quickly come forward to take part in whatever it was.

That thought must have been shared with Mr. McDuck because he suddenly approached the children, hit the ground with his cane, and told them:

"No, Beakley, your uncle Donald, Gizmoduck and I... and Launchpad obviously since he is the pilot will go. Ye lads will stay here.”

The kids’ reactions were not long in coming:

"What?!"

"No way!"

“We’re coming too!”

From his position, Fenton saw Scrooge squint and speak loudly to the children:

"Absolutely not! Ye don't come."

"Why not?" Dewey asked, and his brother quickly added:

"Huey is our brother!"

Mr. McDuck closed his eyes and let out a sigh. He opened his eyes again, looked compassionately at his grand-nephews and the girl who was with them (Fenton still didn't know what her name was, or what relationship she had with the family) and in a soft but firm voice he said:

"Precisely because of that. We don't know in what condition Huey is, we don't want ye to see him until we’re sure that he’s fine.”

Dewey, who Fenton had already assumed was the most impulsive kid, jumped up almost instantly saying:

"That’s not fair!"

The old duck sighed again and looking sadly, said:

"Sorry lads, but it’s the best for you."

"How can you be so sure?" the green-dressed triplet suddenly asked, crossing his arms. The duck in the top hat looked at the boy and opened his beak to reply, but before he could, Donald spoke up:

"Enough boys! Uncle Scrooge is right. We’ll take care of bringing Huey back, I promise you. Now, go wait in your room."

The children looked at the sailor-dressed duck. He looked at them with a stern frown, but also with evident concern on his features. It was clear that he wasn’t happy with what he was saying, but it wasn’t as if he had any other option apparently.

Realizing it was a losing battle, the children lowered their heads and left the room. Almost instantly, the phone embedded in Gizmoduck's helmet (Huey's idea and that Fenton had already implemented in the suit) began to ring. The Hispanic duck immediately answered the call.

"Hello?... yes. Dr. Gearloose it’s me... yes. I hear you... yes... yes... copy that. Thanks, and goodbye."

As soon as the conversation ended, he turned to the other two ducks there, both looking at him expectantly, then Mr. McDuck asked:

“It was Gyro, wasn't it? Well? What did he say?"

Straightening his stance, the superhero answered the question:

"We have the location!"

The billionaire duck's face took on a deeply determined expression. He said:

"Perfect lad. Okay, let's not waste time. Let's go there immediately."

Gizmoduck smiled. Mr. McDuck was right. There was no time to waste. Leaving quickly, they all headed to the plane, where Fenton notified Launchpad of their destination. After confirming the location, the pilot started the engine and the plane began to move. It increased speed, and soon they were going to take off. Fenton looked out the window and saw something that surprised and confused him.

The family’s ghost butler was flying as fast as he could towards the plane. He looked alarmed and was signaling to them, but it was too late. The plane had just separated from the ground and was rising rapidly. It was going through the sky towards their destination. Heading to Huey.

*******************************************

Welp, I really liked Gyro here, he had his moment. Did you like it? I've to admit at the beggining I didn't like Gyro, but as time passed, I grow up with him, and he's become a great character to me. I feel he cares about others but he doesn't like to show it (and after Astroboyd we can understand why I guess). Now at the end of the chapter, I guess all of you imagine why Duckworth was flying trying to stop the plane, can't you?

Okay, after say that, I really hope you all enjoyed this chapter, I also would like to thank to all the people who’d read this story, the ones who commented, those who reblogged it and: @mysteriouswriter72 @elianemariane17 @araminakilla20 @hakuneki07 @i-cant-find-any-creative-name @gizmovi @some-dum-wizard-bitch @infamousquack  @margaretnobbs @alphatheplant @sugerheart @squackcrowquack @nsbfenro @marshmeadow12 @ohgeeeznotagain @constellations1 @isabellanajera @you-big-palooka @deathcat003 @dragonsareawesome123 @via15 @wellshit333 @ninjawarrior100 @your-salty-dorito @rowan-npg @thesuperepicawesomefireninja @duckworth-is-love @worldsbesteagle @shaz231 @cherriesandpoison @softlemonboi @rosebu-uds @mulaneysnl @ihavenonamehalp @drummergirl231 @narnour-momo-007 @via15 @trash-queen-fahey @gamerfansims389 @lesbianz4glomgoldje @jessie-00 @maclove54north @northofanvi @maditheanimaniacuwu

And if I’ve forgot someone, I’m sorry

See you in the next chapter 😉

[skelffricat]

Uppa (Mother)Hoods

I have never given birth, yet I have made three children. At the cosy NCT* group in the Ormeau Library, where I went with my first child (when I managed to get up early enough) I felt ashamed of this. The mothers there were Proper Mothers, with scars in their vaginas; tits out for milking; organic rice cakes for snacks; and great pride in their beautiful birth stories. They were horrific to me (the stories, not the mothers). I couldn’t talk about my birth experience without crying. I even made my GP cry, telling her about it. My eldest was whisked out of my unconscious middle in a now-derelict hospital in South Wales, while my legs were stirruped up (I once made the mistake of visiting the Erotic Museum in Amsterdam- the Sex Museum is better- whilst very stoned. One tends to be stoned, in Amsterdam, I suppose. The floors were confusingly slanted, giving me a sinking feeling, and the top floor’s “sexy” scene was a hospital one. Mannequins in stirrups do NOT turn me on. I had to immediately leave. I may have wept.) There was a student in the hospital room, with horror on his young face, gawping between my legs, and a nurse was urging the doctor to wait for me to go fully under the anaesthetic before he sliced my layers open with the scalpel. My eldest’s father had already been bade to leave. I think he signed something as he left. Signed our lives away?

I learnt later, whilst perusing my eldest’s little red book**, that her lung had collapsed. (I asked why they hadn’t told me. Oh, but it’s fairly common, they said. One in ten thousand. Not worth mentioning, really. Wtf?!) She had pooed in my womb (how rude!) and inhaled some of her own meconium. Meconium. Meconium. I had already learnt that word as a teen, from the band James, in their brilliant song, Gold Mother.

Then I had three friends- well, six, really- who had had stillborn children, at full term, and stopped feeling ashamed of how my child had made her clumsy entrance to the world, and merely relieved that she was alive and kicking, and proud of her. The biggest, reddest, loudest, baby in SCBU***. (“How will I know which one is mine?” I had croaked. Then, it was so obvious, I’d laughed.) I can also feel smug about not pissing myself on trampolines, or every time I sneeze, like most of the women I know who’ve had natural births. Perhaps I’ll start an Unnatural Childbirth Trust. Do your pelvic floor exercises. Now. 

TRIGGER WARNING: I am going to talk about teenage suicide.

Now my youngest child has died, by suicide, just short of her 15th birthday, and I try to feel relief that she is at peace, and that I got 15 glorious years with her. If I think about birthdays like the Chinese people do, I can call it 16****. Almost a woman.

I found her. She arranged that I would, I suppose because she thought I could cope with it better than her father could (she was right, of course. She was usually right. She was very wise. I miss her wisdom, and her unfailing ability to open any jar I couldn’t. She was strong.) I don’t know how to feel about that. People keep telling me that I’m strong, but it seems strangely shameful to be strong at this time (and I still can’t open jars). Perhaps the anti-depressants are working too well? I wonder. I worry that my blasé attitude to death made her decision easier (though I understand that it is pointless to worry about these things now. It won’t bring her back.) We tended to talk about death a lot. Some of my friends had died by suicide, and I would discuss with my mother, her granny, around the children, how suicide was no longer a shameful thing. How you shouldn’t say “committed” in front of it, because it hasn’t been a crime in the UK since 1961. It shouldn’t be a crime anywhere. We went to funerals in brightly coloured clothes. I celebrated dead people’s wonderful lives with them. 

She was hanging from the trapeze I’d had built for her, in our quiet back garden, from a hammock that I had bought for her. I had wondered about the hammock being out there in winter, and thought it was tied in a funny way, a few days before, but not done anything about that. I try not to regret that either. My logic comforts me thus: at least these things could be taken from the garden, and destroyed (the hammock) or used again (the trapeze) and I didn’t have to cut down any trees. I said to myself- she would have done it anyway, somewhere else, at some time. She did it with her things. She used to do amazing things on them. She could soar and swoop gracefully from that trapeze, and even the hammock got strung up high and spun from. 

I had been drinking the night before with my lovely Scottish lover. We watched Wild at Heart, and drank red wine. I thoroughly christened the new bright yellow carpet with a full glass of it, oops. Tried to clean it with a sock. My youngest child was baking in the kitchen. She made a vegan chocolate cake. At one point I went in to her and she was sat on the floor, looking at the cake in the oven. Her head was practically in there. When I was a child, we had electric, not gas, and I thought that people who killed themselves by putting their heads in the oven were cooking themselves to death. How did all the heat not escape, I wondered? How long would that take?! Those thoughts went through my head as I looked at her. She had attempted suicide before, around a month ago. We had been to the hospital. She convinced them (and me) that she wasn’t suicidal, and was sent home. I am not angry at this. What is the point in being angry? She is gone. She was a good actress. A cry for help? She had been to CAMHS that very day. I felt hopeful. She was making cake! She was going to try school tomorrow, in her own comfortable clothes. She hadn’t been for ages. She was too anxious, about uniform, about what to learn, about the future. I asked her what she was doing and we laughed about her proximity to the oven.

He and I ate the cake, later, with natural yoghurt. It was delicious. We called her to join us and she wouldn’t. The last time I saw my youngest daughter alive I was thinking about her killing herself, in a jocular way. Then she did. In a jugular way. Fuck, sorry. I find myself saying the most inappropriate things. 

Sometimes I imagine her last breath. Or dream of disembodied heads. I wonder did she change her mind at the last minute, or feel resolute, and pleased with herself, her escape? Did she make a noise? Did she call out to me, to anyone? I guess you probably can’t call out...? At first, the shock was so severe, I couldn’t think about it without feeling a massive surge of pure panic. I saw my face in the mirror that morning, and it was ashen grey. Later, my eldest described the sensation as a perpetual feeling of dread. Impending doom. Yes, I said, like we’re waiting for something horrific to happen! Then we would realise it already had. My heart thumped so viciously hard inside of me, it felt like it was going to jump right out of my chest. Proving its aliveness. Until I calmed it with (mostly) legal drugs. In the next few weeks, I liked to listen to hearts beating, breath flowing. People being alive, alive- oh. 

My lover had left that night, as he was to go on a walk early the next day. I am so relieved that he had. He has his own demons. He never went on that walk, of course, but at least he didn’t have to find her. He left at around 3am. Her bedroom door was closed. 

I awoke just before 6am. I’m not sure why. I expect I needed water, because I’d been drinking wine. Her door was open. The light was on, and I could see her bed was empty. I got water, and went to her room and saw there was a note on the bed. It was written in green biro, on an A4 file page, folded twice. There was a little cheeky red smiley face with its tongue out on the outside. It was a suicide note. Full of love. Was it a suicide note? So much love. It can’t be a suicide note. I started to look for her, around the house. It was still very dark. I was switching on the light in a room and looking around it and switching the light off and looking in another room. I couldn’t find her. I looked in some rooms twice. I even opened the compartment under her bed. I looked in the cupboard under the stairs, like Harry Potter’s room, that she and her friend had once shut themselves into, to see each other’s glow-in-the-dark bicycle helmets. Where is she? I thought. This is the worst game of Hide-and-Go-Seek ever! Perhaps it’s not a suicide note. Perhaps she has run away? I got dressed. 

Then I found her, in our dark and silent back garden. As she was on the far side of the trapeze to me, her feet were level with the safety mat under the trapeze. I thought for a second that she was just standing there, very still. I was still hoping it was all a joke. A mistake. One of our white garden chairs was beside her. When I realised she was hanging, I swung her slightly. This movement haunts me. Her face... her face was distorted. Her tongue lolling out. I hope you never have to see that on anyone. Especially not your child. My friend hanged herself years ago and my daughter’s face reminded me of her dead one. So, I was thinking, she is dead, in one layer of my mind, and in another, I was thinking, I shall save her. I was calling her, and caressing her freezing face. She was so cold. Dead cold. I ran into the kitchen, got a serrated knife. I am unsure of the order of things. Had I already phoned 999? Was I trying to talk on the phone whilst doing all of this? I cut rapidly through the hammock- it was easy. She flopped into the muck. It was so mucky. I was trying to pull her by the arms onto the trapeze mat, away from the cloying mud, but she was a dead weight. Dead dead dead. No help there. I couldn’t move her. She was so ungainly. I felt inept and weak. I tried to put her in the recovery position. Then I thought, oh wait, no, I need to do chest compressions- I can’t do that on a soft mat anyway. I kept dropping the phone in the mud, and the man on the end of the line was almost shouting at me. 

I put her on her back and was doing chest compressions and he was asking, “is she breathing?” 

She seemed to breathe when I pressed her. I thought, oh! She’s alive? I kept pressing, and dropping the phone in the mud, and I was all mucky too, and she wasn’t breathing- I was just pushing air through her- but I had a glimmer of hope, and the 999 man was counting with me through my mucky mobile phone, and I heard the ambulance coming, and I said to him, I have to let them in! and he said, NO! Keep pressing! I said, I have to, my garden is inaccessible, and I let them in. Two ambulances, filling my dark quiet street with noise and lights and hope. 

They took over. They asked for towels to kneel on in the muck. I’d never thought of that- I got them, as quick as I could. I paced, and watched, and walked away then watched again, and the cat jumped and wheedled around everything. Did he see her die? I wondered? Why didn’t you come get me, cat, like Lassie, or Skippy, or fucking Flipper!? She must have shut the kitchen door and kept him away. They tried and tried, and I paced. They did the defibrillators. Then her breasts became visible and I baulked at the indignity of it, whilst knowing it was entirely necessary, and just... human. They did the adrenaline shots. Four of them, taking turns. Is there any hope? I asked one. Not really, he said. We’re trying because she is young. She’s been there a while. At least I could feel less guilty about getting dressed. I kept thinking, why did I get dressed? I got dressed to go find my dead daughter. 

Was it starting to get light? It was going to be a beautiful morning, I thought, what a pity she can’t see it. I changed out of my mucky clothes. Layered up. It was so cold. There was time, while they tried to save her.

They tried for 20 minutes before they pronounced her dead. There was mud everywhere. They put the mucky towels in a shopping basket I had outside to light fires in. The ambulance people all told me they were very sorry for my loss.

I don’t like euphemisms for death. 

Saying I’ve lost her implies I could find her again. I suppose I find her in my dreams. Though I dreamt of different, unknown, children last night. Two little mixed race boys that I was minding in the (huge dream version) of the Carnival Centre. They kept running away and messing about. At one point we were all on top of a huge concrete topped lift (elevator), that lurched away from beneath us so that we flew into the air. It was falling faster than us. How is that possible? We couldn’t catch up with gravity. Griefity? We weren’t falling fast enough. I keep dreaming of losing children. Not children dying. I dreamt I lost my son the other night too. He was led into a room I wasn’t allowed in. I could see him through the window of the door I couldn’t go through. Then he went out of my sight and I woke up, shaking, horrified.

I recently found my daughter alive again, in a dream. She was very wee- three or four. Before her first haircut. She was being really bold and naughty. She kept running away from me, and she had pooed herself a little, and was rubbing the poo on things, half on purpose. I was trying to catch her and clean her and her hands. We were on holiday? Maybe on a big ferry? I think we had to catch a flight. She had run into a swimming pool room and climbed into a pile of boxes and upset the boxes, and pulled another little girl on top of her and hurt her too. I was trying to pull them out, without hurting them, without losing my temper. I was really trying hard to keep my temper. I was thinking as I woke, if this keeps up, she'll be taken off me. It was so vivid that as I came to, I thought, I must text the Woodcarver; I must text my youngest daughter, to see if she's ok. It was quite a while before I awoke properly and thought, of course she's not ok, she's dead. She's already away. Then I got upset, and cried, but I was glad I got upset because I've been taking anti-depressants and not feeling anything much, so it was a relief to feel sad. I accidentally hadn't taken any for a couple of days at that point.  

Saying she has passed annoys me more. Passed what? Her exams? Wind? (That’s always funny.) She has passed tense? She is past tense.

It wasn’t until she was pronounced officially dead that I phoned her father, the Woodcarver. I thought, there is no point in giving him false hope like mine. He made a loud guttural noise, like a wounded animal, on the other end of the line. It woke my son, who was staying with him. He thought his father was dying. Wrong relative.

It was a brightening cold morning by now. The police came. Her father came. He kicked the white chair she had used, and broke it. This satisfied and disturbed me in equal measure. He hit his head off the sink. I was frightened by him, despite the police presence. I was frightened for him.

The police were very kind. A man and a woman. The man was comfortingly camp. They had masks on. There’s a pandemic, it is said. They took their hats off, but left the masks on. No-one else really bothered with masks, for the next while. I was fascinated by the police officers’ dark green peaked hats- one for boys, and one for girls- on my kitchen table. I made myself tea and put sugar in it. I never take sugar in tea. I’d heard it was good for shock.

My dead daughter’s father’s brother came. He told me to phone my mum. I said I would wait until she normally got up. What is the sense of breaking your last peaceful night’s sleep early, to find out something that won’t be any less dreadful half an hour later? He had brought my son; my daughter’s father’s mother; my daughter’s father’s girlfriend. This is starting to read like Anna Burns’ The Milkman. My daughter’s grandma was also fascinated by the police officers’ hats. She said that one wanted mending, and she wished she had a needle and thread. I didn’t think to fetch her one. I asked if it is true that pregnant women are allowed to pee in police officers’ hats, but they hadn’t heard that before. I kept checking the time on my phone, every few minutes, and drinking sweet tea. I was waiting for the real morning to begin. Nothing has felt real ever since, though.

When I did ring my mother at 8am, she didn’t wake. My little brother did, though. He went and told her in person, and when she arrived, she was bawling, and had forgotten her glasses. She looked tiny. She was due to see everyone the next day. She had been quarantining as she was not long back from Spain. I deeply regret not bringing the children to wave at her in the garden. She hadn’t seen them for months. 

We were flitting between my house and our friends’ house round the corner. My garden was now a crime scene. My daughter’s father didn’t like this. He wanted to hold her lifeless body’s hand. At that point, I thought I never wanted to see her lifeless body again, but I changed my mind a few days later, and that was alright. I saw her in her casket and her face looked... Dead, but not distorted any more. She looked peaceful, I suppose, and very beautiful, in a sad way. She was surrounded by toys, trinkets, food she loved. Dried mango. Finn and Jake. Her elder sister tucked her pride flag around her. She hadn’t seen her for ten months. 

There were many people now, milling inside, and out in the sunshine, between the two houses. The neighbours were out and about, too. I had made horrendous phone calls to a workmate and a couple of friends and the word was spreading. I had phoned my eldest daughter in Wales. To spread the word. The bad word. The worst words. I have had Joshua Burnside’s song, The Good Word, in my head a lot, this last while.

“Last night I dreamed

We were running for our lives

From robots in the jungle

Helicopters in the sky

But the ground opened up and I

Couldn't save her

Couldn't save her

Couldn't save her again

Oh no

No sir

Not this time

Glory hallelujah.”

My lover came down and was of the utmost comfort to me. When the coroner had been and they were to take her away, the Woodcarver’s biggest brother- he that had been there first- came to me in the other house and asked did I want to say goodbye to her body? I said, no, I do not, that is not my daughter any more.

I sought comfort in words. We read poems on her bed. 

Various people told us of a humanist celebrant. She offered to help us for free, and she did, and I am so grateful. 

A friend gave me valium. At some point, someone went to the offy. More and more people came. The lovely camp police officer returned, with my daughter’s bank card, and people panicked, because of Covid, but he didn’t say anything. He only wanted to help.

The next while was a blur...

*National Childbirth Trust- it was the only secular one. I also enjoyed the ones in churches, with their cream teas, and knitted religious folks, trying not to try to convert you and yours. It perhaps could’ve been called the Natural Childbirth Trust, because they kept banging on about it...

**The NHS issue these red books as personal child health records. 

***SCBU- the Special Care Baby Unit. They pronounced it Skiboo, in their lovely Welsh lilts. My doctor looked like a child. She had been working for 24 hours straight, and was still charming and kind.

****Age reckoning originated in China, where it's believed that a baby's age starts from its time in the mother's womb. The practice is also common in Korea, Japan, Taiwan, Hong Kong and Vietnam.

[daisukitty]

29.12.2020

Hey y’all ! Just a recap on my 2020.

So, for the past few years I’ve been busy with my job and other shenanigans. I finally decided to begin my journey in working abroad, I’m looking at you IRELAND. Why Ireland? I have two aunts who work in Hospitals abroad (Ireland and America), they always share stories about their job and life abroad, I find Ireland more enticing because I think the weather and the mood in Ireland would suit me better than the US, I am a person who enjoys cool cold weather after all. Anyways, I sat and took the IELTS exam twice on 2019 but sadly I did not reach a passing mark in my writing test in both of them. Luckily, a close friend of mine invited me to take the OET exam, albeit it was rather expensive I gave it a go and thankfully passed the exam. Passing the exam was my ticket to apply in Ireland as a Non-EU applicant.

The NMBI process was easy once you have all the available documents at hand, the waiting part is tough but it’s over within 6 months or less. The part where I had a hard time was procuring my PRC documents, I had to go to Davao City since it needs to be sent by a Regional office. So, amidst the pandemic and the threat to visiting a covid-19 hotspot, I really needed those documents so I had to force my mom to let me go even if I travel alone. It was the first time I drove to Davao by myself, and what do you know my tire exploded, I wasn’t hurt (THANK GOD!) and I had a spare tire, a bystander helped me find a car mechanic to change the tire. It was a 4 hour ride, time was ticking, by the way I cried when I got back on the road thinking ‘I could have died back there.’ So I arrived at PRC and I find out that they were about to stop accepting applicants because they’re only open in the Morning and I got there at 10:30am. Close call but I got in. I started processing and then I was informed that there were no stamps left, the stamps are needed for processing documents. My heart sank, I asked them where I might be able to buy the stamps, but they said even the ones selling outside has none left, and they don’t know when the stamps will be available. My heart sank even deeper, I came there with only one goal and I almost got into an accident and I won’t even get what I came for. The NMBI deadline was nearing its end and the PRC documents is the only requirement left. If I don’t get this now, I will have to reschedule my appointment and the next available date is past my NMBI deadline. I was teary eyed, thinking of just leaving and accepting my destiny, I went to the gate and talked to the guard eating his lunch. He told me to go back inside and wait for him, so I did. After a few minutes he approached me together with an applicant, the guy gave me 2 stamps, he said he brought four earlier, so he gave it to me. I paid him, and I paid the guard. I felt so blessed, I was being helped by strangers whenever I encountered problems. I finished processing and went home directly.

After a month of waiting, I received my Decision Letter from NMBI (October 25), that day I began sending my CVs to various Hospitals and Agencies who are advertising for Theatre Nurse vacancies. November 09, I was chilling at home drawing on my pen tablet when my phone suddenly rang, my eyes widened and my heart beat fast after reading [IRELAND] on my phone screen, I picked up my phone and frantically paced around the house, it was from an agency called CCM recruitment. The call went like this:

agent: Hello? Is this [my name] ?

Nina: Yes, yes maam, speaking.

agent: Okay. I am from CCM Recruitment, are you available for a pre-screening interview right now?

Nina: (right now? I’m not prepared...I need to prepare!) uhm, I’m actually at work today maam (LIES!)

agent: oh, is that so, sorry for calling at this hour.

Nina: No, no, i’ts fine maam. I’m off duty tomorrow.

agent: Okay, can we have the interview tomorrow?

Nina: Sure maam, at what time would that be?

agent: same time. okay? talk to you tomorrow nina.

Nina: thank you very much for calling maam.

And that’s how I escaped because I got scared of not knowing what questions she’ll throw me. I researched some examples on pre-screening interviews and asked a group of nurses with the same experience on what I should be expecting. The day finally came, her first words were ‘sorry ha, natagalan.’ so I thought, ohhh a filipina? My agent was a filipina, I felt a bit relieved knowing that. She just clarified things about my experiences and background, most of her questions were about what I have written on my CV. When I heard the words ‘Okay nina, I’ll help you land a job here in Ireland.’ I was screaming internally! I reviewed my CV after the interview and found a mistake on the year when I started in the OR, I was scared I thought that I would loose my credibility as an applicant and that they would be disappointed and reject my application. I emailed Maam Beth (agent) about the mistake and she replied ‘noted.’ I got my confidence back, I felt blessed to have a kind and understanding agent like her. 

December 2, I received a call from Maam Beth, she was bearing good news:

Beth: Hello nina, sorry medyo natagalan tayo, ilang weeks din tayo na tengga.

Nina: Hello maam beth, no worries po maam.

Beth: soo, my good news ako, may interested na employer sayo no, 2 hospitals and scheduled for interview next week. (SHOOKT) yung CHI and yung isa naman Blackrock, bale may webinar so mag attend ka ha.

Nina: wow, thank you po maam beth.

We discussed about the schedule of the interview and what to do to prepare for an interview. I attended the webinar but it focused only on CHI, I found out later that I was not short-listed for CHI so I focused on Blackrock Clinic Hospital. December 9, the interview schedule was later at 11pm which is 3pm in Ireland, I was told that the interviewer will be the Matron of BRC (Carmel). I was super nervous, I just left the window open, she was late for 30 minutes, I got scared coz I thought she skipped my file or something. When I saw her on the screen I said “oh Hi maam, I saw you on youtube.” A bit unprofessional but she chuckled and I gained a  bit of confidence. The interview lasted for 15-18 minutes, she asked about my experiences in OR and some situational questions inside the theatre, she asked if I would be able to handle their hospital since my current hospital is not as busy and stuff like that, she asked if I’ll be able to pass the RCSI exam, and many more. The interview ended, I did not really know if I did well or if my answers were enough to pass but I lighted a  candle in the Church and prayed to pass. December 10, I received a call from maam beth, at first she asked if we discussed the salary and I said no she didn’t tell me. I thought, the salary wsnt discussed by her because maybe I didn’t pass the interview...I felt sad, but then maam beth broke the silence with a “congratulations”. I was overjoyed, I PASSED!? I PASSED!! She told me about the salary and the RCSI exam and about the next steps. The next day I signed the contract.

I’m still currently processing the papers that were sent by Ate beth (she wants me to call her that and not maam) and some requirements that I need to secure like GP check-up and vaccination status, I’m still employed in the Philippines right now, the next RCSI exam is  on March 2021, I’m not sure if i’ll be able to sit that one with the current pandemic but I’m hoping for the best! I AM FAVORED AND BLESSED IN SO MANY WAYS! I guess my next post will be when I arrive in Ireland.

[pbandjesse]

My throat feels all gummy. It is probably allergies. But man it is annoying. 

Today was an excellent day for the most part. I slept alright but man getting up was hard today. But once I got up things were okay. I was a little snippy when I found that the laptop wasnt plugged in last night and so I had to bring the cord with me and I was pretty upset. I felt bad for being snippy though. So yeah I wasnt in the best head space. But James made me lunch and gave me hugs and sent me off to work. 

GPS was still on random mode because it took me the weirdest way possible. It was real pretty at least. Lots of nature. But also so weird!!

I got to work around 830 though and the two new kids were there. Theyre twins! All the kids I have are lovely and fun to hang out with. I got all their schedules written on the board. Which only had a few issues because. They are children. But we got things done and it was a really good day. 

I worked on the first aid portion of my class. There wasnt a test at the end but it was a lot longer than the CPR. It took me a lot of today to work through it. But I got it done. 

I also worked on a few frogs and got things up and going on the instagram page. Felt productive. I checked in on the kids a few times but really this job is wicked easy and they dont need me much. Just gotta refocus them a few times. 

Me and the two older girls went outside around lunch for a bit. Played with my circus silk. It was a lot of fun. The brother of the twins came out to join us and me and the twins stayed out while the younger girl went back to class. 

We went back inside and I spent some time teaching them all how to sew. We made little felt patches. They would tell me they were failing when they had loose threads. But I would show them how to fix it and they were just like OH! and then moments later tell me again they messed up and had to start over when that was not true. But by the end they were telling me what they wanted to make next. Very sweet. 

Once everyone was done with their classes we headed outside and man. What a perfect fall day. We played with the silk. We made a leaf pile! We jumped in the pile! The girls went inside to grab cardboard boxes to help us make the pile bigger. And once we were done with that we used the boxes to slide down the hill and that was stupidly fun. I had a great time. 

Soon we went inside. The youngest girl was very tired and was throwing a little bit of a fit. Mostly whiny. So I gave her a piggy back ride inside. And we all washed our hands and had juice. 

But then it was time for me to go home. I wrote notes to their moms, saying how great the kids are but also saying please send more info for this one class we cant figure out, and to please send headphones along. And then I was off. 

I headed to a joanns to get some more large eyes for the large frogs I am working on. I meant to get cotton and I forgot. Felt dumb esspecially because I used ALL my cotton to stuff these guys. Ugh. 

I stopped for a sandwich and fries. And I am glad I did because I got stuck in traffic for like 15 minutes and while I was sitting still on the highway it was nice to have fries and a drink. 

I got home around 430. I was tired. I ran into Mr Will on the corner. Told him how well my online store is going. He was really excited for me. Including the upcoming commissions we have broken the $400 mark! I am so excited about how well things are going. And I hope it just grows and I can make other things too. But the frogs are great and I love them so I am pretty happy. 

I got inside and unpacked my stuff. And played animal crossing for a little while. I wanted to catch snails. So I did that. But then I heard sweetP chittering at a squirrel out on the fire escape so I had to go get him inside and decided that was when I would get to work on my frog stuff. 

I stuffed the large frogs. And had a lovely conversation with someone who has made a few orders. They encouraged me to open commissions for them. So I have done that. I will have to get more large eyes. And not at the store because I paid the same for 100 eyes on ebay as I did for one pair of eyes today in person. Gotta be smart. 

I did get really upset though because I thought I was printing test labels to get the paper lay out correct but I wasnt. I was getting charged. And so I wasted like $6. So I feel very very dumb and bad. James and Jess tried to make me feel better. But it is still hard. 

I am pretty tired though. I have been laying in the studio writing for a while. Researching. I thought I had missed an order and so I went through all the orders matching paypal to instagram and writing down everything in my spreadsheet. It took forever but I will just do it as they happen from now on and that will keep me more organized. Im so afraid I will miss an order.  I have already made mistakes sending the orders to the wrong people because of paypal vs instagram names. But I am doing my best and thats all I can do. 

Now though it is after 9. And I want to go get a shower and wash my face and get ready for bed. I dont have class with the kids tomorrow but I do have the in person portion of the First Aid/ CPR class. So that will be all morning it seems. But then I can go home. But what I will actual do is go and buy more cotton fill and maybe go to the thrift store. I think it will be a nice day. 

I hope you all have a great day. Take care of eachother and be safe. Wash your hands. Goodnight!!

[secretarpeggios]

Very long and boring but had to write because I’m getting upset about it & I needed it out. It isn’t a big deal. I’m fine. Baby is fine.

22nd June: I called my GP Practice and told them I was pregnant! I spoke to lovely practitioner called Maddie who booked me in and said I should expect a call from the midwife.

2nd July: Call from, Jo, midwife (not my local midwife but one from nearest big hospital). We completed all the basic paperwork over the phone and she said that I would get a letter from my hospital of choice for birth for my 12 week scan. Jo said that I’d have to collect my paperwork from my local midwives and take them to my 12 week scan.

5th August: I went in to my local midwives office to collect my paperwork to take with me for my 12 week scan. Knocked on the door and she came out of the office but kept the door closed and kept her voice very quiet so to be confidential. I felt that this was done because she had someone in her office. She said she was fully booked all day so would just be a ‘grab and go’. She checked my name and DoB and I got my folder.

6th August: I went to Big Hospital, where I want to give birth, and had my first scan. She put me at 11 weeks and not 12 which was a guess by Maddie from my last period (standard practise and Maddie did tell me it would change). I was in a grand total of 11 minutes! Booked in to come back again so they can take accurate measurements.

17th August: Back to Big Hospital. They did my scan and took my measurements. Everything looked good. She asked where all my measurements were and blood results. I said that I hadn’t had any bloods taken because I hadn’t seen anyone in person apart from at Big Hospital for my first scan. All 3 staff members expressed surprise and disappointment that I had not yet had a face to face appointment with my local Midwives as they knew they were doing them. They stated that I should have been offered a face to face, already have my 16 week appt booked in and that all my urine/blood tests plus all measurements should have already been done. They said that this should have been offered despite Corona and it isn’t an excuse to not support expectant mothers. They said that they do not have the time to be doing this for all mothers in ‘home town’ and were cross that I had not had any contact from local midwives. They said I should call the GP surgery and let them know and to also call local midwives and ask who my midwife is and when my 16 week appointment is booked in for. They said that it is my midwifes job to sign my maternity exemption form. Staff stated that my blood work would get sent over to Whitby who would print it and put it in my paperwork (Specifically asked as felt unwell off iron tablets).

18th August: AM: Message left for Local midwives to call me back. PM: Call back to say that they were very busy and did not know when I could be booked in. She was surprised that I was not already allocated to a midwife and she would look to see who was free. Booked in with Kim for 14th.

31st August: Received letter from Big Hospital saying all tests good and booked in for 8th October for 20 week scan.

31.8.20 to 7.9.20 – Calls to Local Midwives - Message left requesting a call back about my blood results. Message left asking if I could go back onto my iron tablets. Message left advising that I do not feel well at all and would like a call back.

7th September: I decided to call the GP because I wanted to check if I could go back on my iron tablets. Spoke to Maddie (practitioner I first spoke to when I found out I was pregnant) who expressed great surprise that I had not had an appointment after the first one she requested for me. Disappointed that I had had to ring GP for something that could have been done via my midwife. Advised that I had not met/spoken to my midwife yet and she said that isn’t right and she would look for my results. Maddie checked blood results and approved 210mg iron tablets.

14th September: Call from local Midwife, Kim. Introduced herself and said she was just trying to pull up my blood results. Did not know my history, had no notes, called me the wrong name, did not know if it was first/second birth, after being told about having a 2 year old boy repeatedly said daughter, asked same questions as booking in visit – do you smoke? Do you drink? Told me to book in for Flu Clinic (GP had already contacted me and booked me in for this). Asked me for my results from my screening test and stated that they had no access to any of my medical records from Big Hospital and that they do not get sent any information so do not have access to my blood results despite telling me at the start of the conversation that she was just looking into bringing up my blood results to check. Said that Big Hospital were wrong to say that they were doing face to face, wrong to say that it is not there job to fill in the height/weight/urine/bloods. Said she would send out a signed maternity exemption form since it needs to be done by midwife/GP – stated that I should have got it signed by GP. (Like it was my fault for not going into my GP practice and bothering my GP with the form? Especially since I’ve not been seen in person by a GP this year so not sure how she thought I could have gotten this done, plus very poor use of GP time for me to go in and ask them to sign my maternity form which Big Hospital said should have already been done at the 8 week local midwife appt.) She also told me to ring when I am 21 weeks pregnant to get MatB1 form for employer and book for further telephone appointment. Kim repeatedly explained processes and difficulties under Covid as the reason for my lack of support/contact and that they aren’t doing face to face appts.

16th September: Received letter from Kim, local midwife, stating an appointment for Friday 22nd November (a date that doesn’t exist) for an in-person appt (that she said they weren’t doing) and with a form that has my due date 06/03/2021 which is wrong! I’m due 24/02/2021. So I left a message on local midwife voicemail for a call back. Got a call back an hour later and spoke to Caroline, local midwife, and explained all the above and cried about it. She was so apologetic. She changed my due date & is going to send me out a correct form & booked me in for a face to face with her. She seemed really lovely but I guess we will see what other mistakes they make!

[brokebuckkmountain]

Today was the worst

(long rant ahead, mostly about workplace politics with irl problems sprinkled in for flavor)

So. I’ve already been in my feelings lately due to like: life sucking, it’s the plague times, I am struggling to find a psychiatrist despite being told it was imperative I get help immediately, it’s winter and winter makes me sad, I’m losing friendships left and right thx to Miss Rona, I hate my job, yesterday was the one year anniversary of my breakup, there’s tons of gossip about me at work for things I genuinely did not say, and some of my work buddies are ignoring me for no apparent reason (including my best friend who has been ignoring me since my literal birthday a month ago? It’s all her friends that are ignoring me to it’s hard not to think it’s something related to that). Also, those PMS mood swings are a bitch.

I wanted today to be a good day. I wanted to get up early. I wore my new clothes and new perfume and was excited to train a coworker I genuinely like who was never trained when she was hired a year ago and struggles to get through her shifts. I mean I volunteered to do it for free because she deserves the help. But no no. Today was not a good one.

-I was woken up at 3 am to a litany of text messages from an ex asking to hook up again. Promptly fell back asleep and missed my later alarm, causing me to have to skip my workout this am and rush my shower.

-My boss didn’t assign my trainee online learning or make a schedule, told me I was a “strong enough trainer” to just do what I felt needed to be done. That was all he said to me, no further instruction. This is important later. Trainers and trainees are considered non-coverage and I run into an issue with this everytime I train- shifts want us on the floor doing different tasks than what I’m actually teaching. I personally think being a little backed up for 30 minutes is preferable to new hires not knowing how to do things because they never got one on one time, but most supervisors think otherwise.

-My trainee and I had about 25 minutes until our joint lunch break. She had expressed to me that knowing more about the mechanics of coffee- what is the body of a shot, why does it expire, what’s the difference between blonde and regular- was helping her, so I decided 25 minutes whizzing through that part of training before lunch was fine. I was immediately chastised by someone we’ll call Manager 1 because that “isn’t part of the training”. It very much is, and is available on every training resource, it just never gets taught because of time constraints and corporate not really caring about coffee quality. Manager 1 has consistently made a scene every time I train a new hire over us doing training and not just whatever she wants to get done. Manager 1 is also known for berating almost every one, and has lied about altercations that never happened between me and customers before to our manager. So she’s not exactly a fan favorite of mine. I maintained that the coffee basics was part of training and returned to the back, planning to use that time to do coffee basics and more memory games for drink recipes.

-After about 5 minutes, my coworker came to the back and told me the two managers wanted us out there helping. I went out alone to tell Manager 2 (who was technically in charge and generally less awful) what we were working on and asked if they really needed us or if they’d be okay. She said they needed us and Manager 2 began snapping that we were floor coverage, that my trainee was supposed to be on the floor all day, and that she had no business in the back “staring at a computer screen” (which we were not doing, but I digress). Since this is about the fourth time I’ve had this issue with this particular manager, I responded that we were supposed to be doing whatever I felt needed to be done, not working the floor. When they maintained that they were “under the impression” from our boss that my trainee and I were to remain on the floor all day, and we were coverage, I said “I guess I got confused by the dashed lines on the schedule that signify non-coverage as us being non-coverage” and went to get my trainee.

-My trainee knew the situation because she had overheard, got super nervous, and started making drinks wrong that she had been making correctly all day. During this time I overheard Manager 1 and Manager 2 not-quietly discussing them both texting our boss to complain about me. Fair, I guess, since I planned on doing the same when I was on my lunch. At one point they both left the bar area to send their texts and squat by the safe while waiting for it to unlock (it’s on a timer and beeps when it’s ready, no need to hover) which only infuriated me more- they moved us to bar so they could leave it. When it was finally our lunch time I sent my trainee and was pulled aside by Manager 2. I tried to move the conversation to the break room (something I have always been adamant about- not publicly berating coworkers in front of others) but she stayed on the floor where multiple people were and reprimanded me for my bad attitude. I told her I was never instructed to stay on the floor, had a schedule, and would’ve been more flexible if they had actually spoken to me rather than yelling and demanding. She maintained that I had a bad attitude and needed to follow orders. I said, once again, “mutual respect goes both ways, if you want me to incorporate things into my training schedule then you need to have an actual conversation with me about it and not demand it at random”. She said that as my superior I wasn’t allowed to “talk back” (ignoring my point that they had both, indeed, begun yelling at me) and told me my bad attitude “wasn’t a good look” and that she didn’t feel I was understanding. I said I understood perfectly that I shouldn’t be rude, but that they shouldn’t yell at me either, and I wasn’t going to take unprofessional yelling to pull me off my job as a trainer. Manager 2 didn’t listen to a word I said and kept going “you can’t have an attitude, do you understand?” so after a period of staring at her silently I said “Can I clock out for my lunch now and proceed with training?” and walked away.

-After lunch I was able to continue training, only because that part of the training constituted us being on the floor helping. I apologized profusely to my trainee for putting her in that situation, reassuring her that regardless of who was in the “right” or the personal issues of the people on the floor, my first priority was her being able to successfully learn and feel comfortable. She told me she had a hard time focusing on drinks and was anxious after the scene, and that she felt the public reprimanding I received was far out of line and unprofessional. I told her I knew that, but being as it was two managers against one me, I would probably still receive a write up tomorrow morning and not to let it worry her when it did go down (tomorrow is our final day of training and my last day before a long break from work, so I know it’s going to happen in front of her). She said she would talk to my boss on my behalf and I told her not to worry, I didn’t want her pulled into workplace drama, but she insisted it wasn’t right (she is considerably older than everyone in the workplace and I think a little protective of me since we volunteered together and I’m the only one who doesn’t chastise her for small mistakes). We’ll see if she says anything tomorrow but I don’t want her to feel like she has to “go to bat” for me and involve herself in unnecessary drama against people who will lash out at her.

-While trying to clock out, I overheard Manager 2 trying to get other coworkers of mine to give accounts against our boss to his superior over not liking their scheduling. Perhaps I’m biased, because I am friends with my boss and literally vacationed with him this summer, but he is the type to listen to concerns and always give people the benefit of the doubt. I’ve never seen him give a write up and he bends over backwards to accommodate people. So whatever their issues are, something tells me they haven’t brought it up to him. Manager 2 frequently breaks safety protocols because she “doesn’t care if she gets Covid” and has vacationed out of state many times resulting in us not allowing her to come back to work and being short staffed. Despite this, I’ve never given my boss her name when he asks who is breaking safety protocols. Manager 2 is well known for being deeply unpleasant, her and my boss have been at odds for years from working together at another location, and has frequently tried to egg on other employees to get our boss in trouble while refusing to make any formal complaints herself. If you’ve been following for a while, she’s the same ass-kisser who used to say my old boss could break any rules she wanted and allowed herself to be constantly demeaned in hopes of a promotion (10 years without a promotion and she thinks it’s unfair rather than realizing she’s mean and unpleasant, chooses to attack the people who do get the promotions she wants). I know there’s a way to spin those two plotting against my boss as a way to cast some doubt on their accounts of me, but no way to do it without being a blatant shit disturber who’s just retaliating. Which is not how I want to live my life. But he deserves a heads up.

-Now I’m sitting at home with an arts and craft project I came up with to give my coworkers all a gift before the New Year and no desire to do it. Like, fuck these people, why should I do something nice for them? Even though I know the majority are good people, just not the ones in management. No energy, completely lethargic (yay depressive episode and still no antidepressants because I can’t get ahold of a goddamn psychiatrist even though my GP okayed the antidepressants herself), wishing I just could get a better job but I need the insurance at mine. It’s one thing to be constantly belittled and insulted by customers (and a very big thing, at that), but to get it from coworkers too just makes me feel awful, day in and day out. I know I’ve hated my job for the entire 3 and a half years I’ve been there and bemoaned how much less interwork drama I’ve had at every other job I’ve had (so I don’t think it’s all me, many agree it’s a toxic environment likened to a high school), but quitting a job you’re great at, passionate about (at times), live super close to, that gives you insurance, during a pandemic? Harder than it looks.

Life sux. Super anxious for tomorrow. Thanks for reading. Pls don’t reblog.

[queen-of-deans-booty]

I Want to be a Hunter Like You (AU)

Characters: Dean Winchester x Hunter!Reader, minor characters

Word Count: 2,438

Warnings: angst, fluff

Request: Hey can I request a fic au where Dean and the reader are together, Dean isn't a hunter and never was but reader is and he finds out what is her real 'job' and he wants to learn more with angst and fluff in the end if you may, thank you so much

Summary: Dean isn’t a hunter, but you are, and you’re trying to keep this life from him as best as you could.

Squared Filled: Vampire // Going to the zoo // Grudge // Turned into a vampire

Beta: she wants to remain anonymous

Author’s Note: This is for @spndeanbingo and @spnfluffbingo2019 and @spndarkbingo and @spnclassicbingo respectively and this is unbeta’d and any and all mistakes are all on me.

Feedback the glue that holds my writing together

Tags at the bottom

Getting home late wasn’t an unusual thing for you. Monsters didn’t care what time of day it was, they were still going to kill people until they were stopped. Almost always, you were covered in blood, guts, or any other kind of liquid. Normally, you would go home, take two or three showers, and then go to bed. However, after meeting and dating Dean Winchester, you had to be a lot more careful when you come home and what you do. He wasn’t a hunter and didn’t know of anything about this life, and you wanted to keep it that way.

There was already too much death and depression that normally came with the job, you didn't need to add Dean into the mix. He was such a pure soul and had a compelling personality, you didn’t want to see what would happen if the lifestyle were to taint that. However, it’s been getting more and more difficult to hide anything from him since he’s moved in with you. His brother, Sam, lived close to you, which is why he thought it was a good idea for him to move into your house rather than the other way around.

Luckily for you, Dean was with his brother right now, which gave you the freedom of washing off vampire gore before he came home.

Vampires were your easiest monster to kill since you’ve had a lot of practice with them. When you were first starting as a newbie hunter, you thought you would go on a hunt alone rather than with an experienced hunter to a nest of vampires that was too large to take down by yourself. At that age, you were cocky, and you thought if you could take them all down, then your mentor would be so proud that she would start to let you do the harder stuff.

When you got there, you didn't know that two nests merged into one, so it was a lot bigger than you realized. You would have left and come back with more help, but you had already killed five of them before realizing there was so much more. It was too late to back out because they had already heard you after the sixth kill. They started to fight back, of course, but you managed to kill about half of them when your mentor and her team barged in. The vampires realized they were outnumbered and escaped, but not without saying something that sent chills down your spine even to this day.

“We will be back, and we will get our revenge.”

Your mentor was so pissed that you went out on your own that she didn’t even look at how many of them you killed on your own. Ever since that day, you’ve been trying your best to make her proud. Even after she died, and you had enough skill and knowledge to continue on your own, you still wanted to make her proud which is why you’ve been tracking those same vampires for more than ten years.

You’ve killed a lot of monsters along the way, but you’ve managed to gather enough intel on these vampires to know where they were going to hit next. As to not raise suspicion with Dean, you wanted to propose a trip to the town so you could be closer and work it from the inside. You figured you could distract him with a movie (since he always falls asleep at them), or you could take him somewhere where he wouldn’t notice you gone for a few hours.

You hate lying to him, especially when he’s been nothing but truthful to you, but you couldn’t tell him about this. He seemed like he would be a terrible hunter because he couldn’t follow directions that well. He liked to do things on his own with his own terms, and if he were to use that logic while hunting, he would die. You knew this because you were like that before. It took a lot of death and destruction for you to finally learn your lesson. Dean just wouldn’t be able to survive out there.

After you had gotten all the blood and guts off you, you checked your resources to see if anything had changed over the past few days that would tell you if the vampires shifted to another town or not. What you found was something shocking, and it wasn’t what you were expecting.

The town in which you were going to visit, there had been numerous reports of animals at the town’s zoo that had been found dead with their blood drained. The vampires you were tracking only wanted human blood, but you knew this had to be their work. They wanted you to know where they are, and you were going to kill every last one of them even if it’s the last thing you do. You owe it to your mentor to at least try.

So, you knew where you were going to go, and when you were going to do it. The only problem was trying to keep Dean busy enough so you could escape.

“It’s awesome that we can do this on such short notice. You sure your job doesn’t mind you taking time off like this?” Dean asked as you two entered the zoo. It was getting dark, which was perfect since the vampires might be out here, watching and waiting.

“Yeah, they don’t mind,” you smiled, especially when hunting was your full-time job. Dean never questioned where you went to, what you were doing, or where your money was coming from. You had an inheritance that would last you for the rest of your life, which is what you’ve been living off of ever since your grandparents died of natural causes.

“Awesome. Let’s check out the snakes first,” he grinned, taking your hand and leading you over to the habitat. Your eyes scanned your surroundings for anyone who might be staring at you or lingering a little too close. There was a machete hooked on your thigh holder underneath your flowy dress, and there was a gun hooked into your waist from underneath. Your Spanx was really holding everything together, so you weren't too worried about anyone finding out what you were hiding. Guns wouldn’t work on vampires, but it would at least slow them down if you shot off their kneecaps.

Dean was admiring the snakes when you caught something out of the corner of your eyes. A person fled from one side of the zoo to behind a habitat, too fast for your liking.

“Hey, Dean, I’ll be right back. Bathroom,” you chuckled.

“Okay, I’ll be here,” he smiled. Taking off to the bathroom, you made a sharp turn at the last second to follow the person you thought you saw. However, when you got to the other end of the habitat, no one was there. You thought it was strange to see a person move that fast, but then you realized you left Dean all alone. If there were vampires that were truly here, then you shouldn’t leave him alone.

Rushing back over to where Dean was, you noticed he was in a headlock. One of the leaders of the nest was holding him with his fangs out close to his neck. There was a huge gash in Dean’s neck from where the vampire bit it, and as long as the vampire’s blood stayed away from the wound, Dean wouldn’t turn into them.

“We’ve been waiting for you,” the vampire grinned as Dean winced.

“What is going on, Y/N?” Dean asked in a whimper.

“You haven’t told him?” the vampire gasped.

“Let him go, Seers. He isn’t part of this.”

“No, he is. In fact, if you had left us alone back then, then maybe this wouldn’t be happening. I told you that we will get our revenge, and I think I know how we can do that,” he laughed.

“Seriously? You’re holding a grudge for something that happened ten years ago? If it wasn’t me, then another hunter would have taken you out.”

“Yeah, but it was you, and now you’re going to pay for it,” he laughed. He held up his hand which was cut and bloodied. You knew exactly where this was going, so you rushed over to Dean to at least try and save him from this.

“No!” you yelled just as the vampire let his blood drip into Dean’s wound. A person from behind hit you hard on the head, and you fell to the ground in a heap of darkness. The last thing you saw was Dean struggling against Seer’s grip, and the last thing you heard was his voice screaming your name.

“Ma’am? Are you okay?” a man asked as he shook your shoulders. Your eyes opened wide, and you jumped up. The man jumped back in fright but stayed to make sure you were okay.

“Dean!?” you yelled, looking at your surroundings. The man who woke you up was a worker that was closing the zoo when he found you lying on the ground. “Where is Dean?”

“Some man told me to give you this,” he said as he handed a slip of paper to you. Snatching it from his hand, you noticed there were only coordinates on it which is where they must be holding Dean.

“Damn it!” you yelled as you got up without thanking the man. Your legs picked up as you ran out of the zoo and back to the car. If their intention were to hurt you, then Dean would already be fully turned by now. If he wasn’t, then there was still a way to save him. All you would need is Seer’s head on a stick.

Punching in the coordinates into your GPS, you squealed out of the parking lot to the secluded place on the map. When you got there, a long warehouse stood before you. Nothing else but trees surrounding the area. If they were in there, they knew you were coming, which is why you had to be smart about this. Thankfully, you had loads of syringes filled with dead man’s blood which is deadly to vampires. Your tranquilizer gun was enough to do the job, and if you were going to go in there, you would need to take out some of the vampires.

Climbing the nearest tree to the best of your ability, you settled on one of the branches before lining up your shot. Vampires hung out throughout the house, and from what you could see through the windows, there were more of them than you thought there would be. There were only ten syringes, so you used them efficiently. By the time you were done, you knew you could enter the place confidently.

Prying the door open, you walked inside while holding your really good machete in your hands. You knew they knew you were here, so you didn't bother with being quiet.

“Seers! Where’s Dean?!” you yelled. The double doors in front of you opened to reveal Dean tied to a chair. His eyes were bloodshot, and he had fangs. Fear spiked in the back of your mind, but vampires who haven’t fully turned looked like that, so you still had hope.

“You always seem to shock me,” Seers said as he walked into view, holding one of the syringes which were empty. “I was going to play this the easy way, but you’re only making it more difficult for you.”

“Let him go,” you glared.

“Maybe I will so you can be his first meal. I’m sure he’s just itching to get the first taste of human blood. I wonder what yours tastes like.”

“You’re going to have to catch me if you want my blood,” you growled. Dean hadn’t had his first taste of blood yet which meant he could be cured. As soon as the words left your mouth, the vampire started charging at you. The thought of your disappointed mentor filtered through your mind, which gave you the motivation you were searching for. Dean watched as you cut heads off left and right, dropping bodies as if this was your fucking hobby. You kept going until only Seers was left, the person you’ve been waiting to kill since you first saw him ten years ago.

“You’re dead meat,” he growled as he charged at you. It took some effort on your part, but you sliced the machete right through his neck, effectively cutting off his head. His body dropped to the ground, and you wasted no time in rushing over to Dean.

“No, don’t,” he gasped as you went to untie him. “I’ll hurt you.”

“That’s okay, Dean. I can cure you. I know how you make you human again,” you said as you got the stuff you needed from your duffel bag in the car. You were glad that you brought the stuff so that you could cure Dean as soon as you got there. The concoction wasn’t hard to make since you had everything you needed. Once it was finished, you made Dean drink it all.

He threw his head back as he screamed in agony as the potion worked through him to undo what was done. The vampire blood in him was purified until there was no more left in his system. He slumped in his chair at the end, and you scrambled to get the ties off him.

“Dean? Please say something to me,” you begged.

“That was badass,” he mumbled. Sighing in relief, you helped him off, letting him use your body as support as you brought him back to your car. Once inside, you turned to him with tears in your eyes.

“I am so sorry you got caught up in all this,” you sniffled.

“What is going on?” he asked.

“The monsters you hear about--vampires, witches, werewolves, demons--they’re all real. I hunt them. I’ve been hunting that group of vampires for a long time, and I’m sorry you had to get caught in it before I could kill them all.”

“I want to be one.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do. I witnessed a lot of bad things before you showed up. They kidnapped a girl and drank her blood right in front of me. These people are evil, and I can only imagine what else is out there. I want to be a hunter like you.”

“We'll talk about it when you’re better. You’re going to need your energy for that conversation,” you said as you pulled away from the warehouse.

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[tjkiahgb]

Episode Recap: 3.15, “Unloading Zone”

Two recaps in two days? The things I do for meaningless internet points.

Bex, Bowie, and Andi sit around the apartment looking at their phones when Bowie suddenly declares it movie night. Everyone’s like, kinda excited about movie night, but not enough to move or do anything about it.

That’s the way we like to movie night.

Bowie says it’s a family night, where they all stare at the same screen. They debate what to see and where to see it but basically realize everything is bad.

Backed into a corner, they realize their only recourse is to take to their phones and the internet to try and find something to watch.

Andi shoots that idea down with a sarcastic “Sounds riveting.”

I take it she’s never seen footage of a swarm of monarch butterflies tearing a cow to shreds in a matter of seconds. I’m talking down to the bone!

They all go back to their phones with the sort of silent resignation that they aren’t going to watch a movie that night and also that they, and frankly all of us, will never stop staring at our phone screens from now until the moment we die. We are prisoners to technology. It is a cage we constructed by mistake and trapped ourselves in permanently by reforming our society around it. It is a karmic form of punishment for our hubris and it will one day be our destruction.

Anyway, please follow me on tumblr dot com, and don’t forget to give my posts likes and reblogs as my self-esteem is built almost entirely upon this.

Speaking of self-esteem: Cyrus.

He and Buffy watch TJ and Kira from afar at the park, where Kira attempts to blind TJ.

Buffy’s trying to figure out if they’re together now, but Cyrus doesn’t know, as they haven’t been hanging out lately. Kira’s been around him almost non-stop and Cyrus is not interested in being around her.

Kira jumps on TJ’s back, providing another stunning metaphor.

My God, she’s got him in a chokehold. She’s attacking him in public! Won’t someone do something?! Basketball boys in the background! Help!

Buffy reassures Cyrus that this won’t last. Kira’s not a nice person, she says, and TJ will figure that out eventually.

At Cloud 10, Andi checks to see if Bex and Celia have made up. Bex doesn’t know, so she checks with Celia to see if they made up.

No.

Bex tells Andi to stop using all the non-sample makeup. Andi’s like, ok, I’ll just take the ones I used. Bex wants to charge her.

Andi, look around! Once again, there are no costumers in the store, just employees and family members. The business cannot afford to bleed money like this!

Andi implores Bex to go talk to Celia, partly because she wants the two to mend their relationship and partly because she probably wants to sneak some more makeup out.

Bex tries to talk to Celia but Celia is cold as ice. Andi makes a joke about it.

That, surprisingly, doesn’t help the situation, so Andi sees herself out.

Bex tells Celia that she knows she’s furious with her for cancelling the wedding, but she would like this whole thing to be over. Celia says it is over. Bex asks her to say something nice to her to prove it.

I dunno, something like, “You are my only daughter and I love you no matter what. I’ve had at least a day to think about it and realized that barn weddings surrounded by alpacas aren’t the most important thing in the world, your happiness is. I would never want to force you into a marriage you weren’t ready for. You have to do what feels right to you. It’s your life, not mine.” I mean, you know, whatever. That’s just a rough draft. I’m open to notes.

But Celia instead sighs and says she’s got nothing.

At the park, TJ sneaks away from Kira long enough to talk to Cyrus alone.

TJ feels like Cyrus has been avoiding him but Cyrus says he hasn’t, TJ’s just been so preoccupied with Kira. TJ’s like, I’ve just been spending some time with her, but Cyrus says it’s the bulk of time. He thinks the two are hitting it off and he’s happy for them.

Don’t put that on me! TJ’s like, we just talk about basketball, the least romantic of the sports! Cyrus asks about the piggyback ride, but TJ says that was because Kira bet him he couldn’t do it and he was like screw you, I have a strong back. I can lift things!

TJ proposes Cyrus hang out with the two of them, but Cyrus isn’t so sure, and to reinforce that point, Kira tracks down TJ using the GPS chip she hid in his pocket and gets real cold, real fast with Cyrus.

TJ’s like, Cyrus should hang out with us, right?

Wouldn’t that be fun if all three of us hung out?

Kira says yes through gritted teeth and TJ’s like, boom! Great! Cool! We can all hang out.

But Cyrus gets the message and decides to scoot.

Do’s to thing.

TJ is sad to see Cyrus go, which Kira notices. She tries to cheer him up by reminding him that she’s still around.

To which TJ is like...

...oh. Yes. Yes, you are.

Later, at The Spoon, Andi comes bursting in and tells her friends to take a look at this!

And they’re like, that’s a phone! And Andi’s like, oh.

The point is not the phone, it’s what was once on the phone: words. And those words tell the story of a clothing store called Mint Chip which burns all the clothes they don’t sell.

The gang enter into a long discussion about capitalism and branding which I don’t understand because I got a C- in my Econ 101 class.

Then Buffy says Mint Chip burned $35 million worth of clothes last year and everyone gets outraged.

Can I just play devil’s advocate here? Maybe they were burning it for warmth?

Buffy says there’s a way to settle this, and they all head to the Rage Cage to smash junk.

No, wait, I mean, they head to a junk cage to... rage smash? Shoot, I feel like I almost had something there.

Point is, the kids get in the dumpster. Buffy tries to but her foot betrays her. Wonder if this has to do with trying to run a marathon on nothing more than moxie.

She plays it off like not a big deal. She says she’s fine but I’m not so sure a-boot that.

Cyrus, now in the dumpster, finally asks if they’re allowed to be doing this.

Ignoring the trespassing charge? The crime is called garbage theft. It’s real. I know that because I got an A- in my Criminology 101 course. Feels like someone should’ve done a quick Google search to make sure they weren’t doing something illegal.

But I guess the time for Googling was before everyone got into the dumpster, because everyone just laughs off Cyrus’s suggestion that maybe they could get in trouble for this.

They find bags and bags of new clothes and wonder what to do with them. They all stare at Andi.

Because this was your thing! You made us care! You’re the reason we’re in the dumpster!

Andi says they all need to figure this out. It’s a group project. Then everyone gets real quiet and stares at one another and a few seconds later, Andi comes up with an entire plan by herself. Go team!

They return that night and steal all the clothes out of the dumpster and ride away with their treasures.

I like how they each got their own special vehicle for the job. Jonah’s got his skateboard. Andi has her quirky wagon. Buffy has a practical cart. Cyrus has an awkward wheelbarrow. Perfect.

Well, okay guys, you’ve committed a crime. A couple, actually. Trespassing and garbage theft, but I think you can still get away with this if you play it cool. I assume the next part of the plan is something low-key. Go around town making anonymous donations to thrift stores and shelters probably. Gets the clothes to people who need it, gives them a new home. Mission accomplished, right?

Oh, no? Not that? Put up a huge, extravagant public display in the middle of the sidewalk on the main street of town instead? Big ol’ gaudy signs saying where you took the clothes from? Large, colorful signs that scream “FREE TO TAKE”? Great idea! Nothing gathers more attention or raises more suspicion than big signs with the word FREE on it.

By the way, where is Mint Chip? Is it nearby? Within walking distance? Within seeing distance?

This is like newlywed bank robbers robbing a bank and their getaway vehicle is their wedding car with all the cans dangling off of it and big writing on the back window that says “JUST MARRIED! DAN AND TIFFANY JOHNSON”

This is like a guy throwing a brick through a department store window but wrapping his photo résumé around the brick. And when you unwrap the résumé it has his name and phone number and email address, and underneath “Special Skills” it says “Microsoft Word, Microsoft Excel, Doing Crimes”

This is like a kidnapper mailing the finger of the person he kidnapped to the police and putting his home address on the package in the return space.

I assume this is all to prove a point to Mint Chip but the way it’s executed, it just feels like they want to get arrested for doing crime.

This lady comes by and rubs her two brain cells together.

Very good question, lady! Why are these children giving away clothes free to whoever walks by? Why do all these pieces of clothing still have their tags on them, as if they were stolen? Why--

IS THAT A WINTER COAT?! NO MORE QUESTIONS!

Andi assures her she can have the coat and that’s good enough for her.

Andi meets back up with Cyrus and Buffy and they all delight in how nice it is to give people stuff that isn’t yours.

We get a fun montage here of the gang committing crime with smiles on their faces.

Jonah gives answers to three telepaths, who wordlessly asked him questions about the clothing.

Look at these criminals.

Laughing at what they’ve done. Thinking they’ve gotten away with it. Makes me sick.

Bex, meanwhile, arrives home to find Bowie and a package. It’s addressed to both of them and Bex realizes it’s a wedding present. Bowie jumps back like Bex just said the box was full of spiders.

They’re going to have to get one of those bomb disposal robots to come take care of this.

They decide to open it. They’ll return it but have to know who sent it first.

Bowie sees it’s from Celia. She sent it with a beautiful note. They open the box and pull out--

JESUS CHRIST!

An exact recreation of the proposal?! Down to the clothing, hair, and camera angle? How in the world?! I mean, really? Even if they described the scenario to her, HOW?! She even placed the pillows on the couch exactly as they were on the night!

The level of detail on this is haunting.

She even put in the Cat!

This was a really cute idea that’s just unsettling in its execution. This is a supernatural occurrence. This is the kind of thing someone stumbles upon in the attic of spooky house and realizes it contains the trapped the souls of these people inside of it. If you hold your ear to it, you can hear them faintly shouting “Help! Get us out of here!”

Bex and Bowie are far more taken by this display than I am though. Bex gets emotional. She goes to get the Thank You note stationary Celia gave her. Bowie gives her some space to write a message.

Back at the pop-up crime scene, Cyrus approaches Buffy with a shirt. He wants to give it to TJ.

He texts TJ a picture of it. Cyrus hopes TJ will like him it. Buffy asks why not just give it to him, but Cyrus says he’s not sure how much he’d want him it. Buffy’s like, he wouldn’t want a free shirt? Cyrus is like, I don’t know if he’s gay he’d like me giving him a free shirt.

Buffy figures it out. She’s like, you know how you can find out if he’s into you he wants a free shirt? Go for it Give him the shirt. Maybe it’ll mean something to him, or maybe it won’t, but either way it’s a nice thing to do. Cyrus agrees.

TJ texts back at that moment.

No, he gives the shirt a thumbs up. Cyrus invites him to the crime show he and his friends are putting on, but TJ tells him he’s at the park.

Cyrus wonders what that means. Buffy tells him it’s that he wants to meet him. Cyrus waffles on whether to bring the shirt.

Yeah, I mean, the shirt’s a thing now, you gotta bring the shirt.

At the park, Kira wants to know who TJ’s texting with. He tells her no one and suggests they go feed the ducks. Kira suggests they go on the swings first. TJ’s like, are you sure I can’t interest you in some ducks? But she wants to swing.

TJ resists but Kira persists. She taunts him that he can’t swing as high as she can. That works, somehow.

Guess his competitive spirit is such that all you have to do to get him to do something is say he can’t.

“I don’t want to give you a piggyback.”

“Why, ‘cause you can’t?”

“Get on my back! But I swear I’m not getting on the swings.”

“Because you don’t know how to swing?”

“Get out of my way, I’m getting on them swings!”

Boy, if either Reed or Lester had figured out this weak spot, they could’ve just said “Bet you can’t not say anything to the police about this gun, chicken!” and they’d be running free somewhere right now instead of locked up in supermax.

So TJ gets on the swings, just in time for Cyrus to come walking by and see.

Heartbroken at seeing his crush being heterosexual in public, Cyrus takes his shirt and does a sad Charlie Brown walk away.

He looks back first though.

Which, as we know, indicates he likes TJ, though it feels kinda superfluous because it’s following an episode where he was watching TJ from afar, being jealous that TJ was hanging out with someone else, and getting TJ a gift for no reason other than he thought it would look good with his eyes. Yeah, man, we get it. You like TJ.

Cyrus returns to the theft shop. Buffy asks him what happened and he tells her he found TJ with Kira.

Buffy promises him it won’t last, but Cyrus is like even if it does... he’s still straight, though.

Buffy asks him what he’s going to do with the shirt. Cyrus decides to give it to the last straight boy he crushed over. He asks Jonah if he wants it.

I know that this is more to complete a metaphor of sorts, but Jonah has to know that’s one of the shirts they pulled out of the dumpster, right? He’s like, oh, this is awesome, where’d you get it? The trashcan, Jonah. With you. Last night. We’ve been giving them away all day. There’s eight more over there on the rack.

Andi shows up and is like, it’s weird no one got mad at us for this whole thing, right? And Jonah’s like, oh yeah, someone came by and asked a lot of questions about it and I told her everything!

They’re like, no, you shouldn’t have done that. Which, I mean, yeah. He needs to keep his mouth shut. That’s the first rule of crime doing. But in fairness to him, what was this plan anyway? If someone came around asking, what answers were they planning on giving that wouldn’t implicate them in wrongdoing?

They don’t have time to think about that because a cop shows up. Andi tells everyone to stay calm, because they didn’t do anything wrong, but Buffy’s like, we might have. Bet we feel foolish we didn’t stop for a quick Google before all this, huh?

Officer Penn, a.k.a. Budget Clint Eastwood, wants to see their permit, but they say they’re not selling anything, so no permit necessary. Budget Clint Eastwood then tears through their legal arguments fairly quickly.

They say Mint Chip is a store that destroys the clothes they don’t sell and if you really think about it, isn’t that the real crime?

No. No, it’s not. Garbage theft is the real crime. Garbage theft. Officer Penn hauls four children off to jail.

Vivian the Winter Coat Lady, meanwhile, walks into Cloud 10 to look around. Celia compliments her winter coat. Vivian thanks her, saying she just got it under mysterious circumstances, but didn’t bother asking any questions.

In fact, all she really wants to do is go back and get more clothes under mysterious circumstances.

Bex pulls Celia over and tells her she loved the wedding present. She gives her an envelope full of thank you notes she started and stopped because she couldn’t put into words all her feelings.

But Celia is still pretty cold about all this. Bex wants to know how long it’ll take to be forgiven.

Can I knock it down to two if I run some errands for you? Take you to the airport or something?

Bex’s phone buzzes. It’s someone calling from jail, telling her they have her daughter. Bex panics. Celia steps up.

Looks like Andi’s going to have to bring them back together once again. They head off for jail.

The episode ends and then we get a sneak peek at the main title sequence of the spinoff show featuring the Good Hair Crew and Jonah in prison.

Andi Mack: Lockup, coming this fall.

[thenamesseven]

Word count: 1.5k

Warnings: Fluffiest fluff ever.

Plot: Seungmin prepares a special date for you buuut unfortunately, things never go the way you plan.

Hey anon! I thought this is what you had in mind more or less, hope you like it! Thanks for requesting ^^

It's been such a long time since Seungmin and you had a date that you didn't even remember where the two of you went. Was it that one time you were able to have dinner at that new pizza place you wanted to check out? Or was it the day you managed to sneak him into the amusement park when there weren't too many people inside? You knew dating an idol meant not being a normal couple but you would be lying if you said you didn't wish he was a bit less known so going out with him could be way easier.

When Seungmin called you at 9 pm begging for you to meet him at the park near Han river in which the two of you met you couldn't help but feel slightly nervous about it. You hadn't forgotten your anniversary, right? After checking almost every single calendar you had at home and seeing today wasn't any important date, you got to the conclusion that he was either going to break up with you or tell you he was about to go on tour again for some months.

Your boyfriend had specifically told you to not dress up for meeting him, apparently he wanted you to be comfy for whatever plans he had made and after the shitty day you had you couldn’t be more thankful about that so with grey sweatpants, a white yet oversized shirt and your hair pulled up in a messy bum you got out of your apartment and started heading to the location Seungmin had sent you as you mentally prepared yourself to not cry whenever he told you he had to go on tour again.

“You have reached your destination” The female voice from the GPS announced almost 15 minutes later, making you frown confused.

It was true that you were standing on the exact place that was marked on the map but there was nobody around, the zone wasn’t even lighted up. Scoffing a little, you glanced down at your phone checking if this was a prank the guys had decided to pull on you because if it was they better be ready for Hell to break lose, you weren’t in the mood for this stuff. Turning around on your spot you realized you were alone with a random guy who was lighting up candles-

Oh

Is that Seungmin?

“Babe?” You had started using the pet name recently, it was easier to call him that and it lowered the risk of getting caught if you were outside with him and called him that instead of his name. You knew Seungmin hadn’t completely got used to it and still felt a little shy about it but deep down, the both of you knew he loved it.

“Ah” He groaned, sitting on a blanket he had spreaded on the grass as he tilted his head back, closing his eyes frustrated “I wanted to light up the candles before you came but the damn wind keeps blowing them off”

As if on cue, the wind blew and turned off the couple of candles your boyfriend had managed to light up. You heard him whine even more frustrated and a quiet giggle left your lips as you stared down at him in the darkness “It’s okay, we can always use our phone’s lanterns as light” You proposed sitting down besides him, crossing your legs.

As soon as you placed your butt down onto the blanket, your body shivered. The air was kind of humid which resulted in the grass below you getting wet and which meant the blanket was also slightly wet. Seungmin had been sitting there way longer than you and that’s probably the reason he couldn’t feel his own pants getting wet, either that or he was ignoring another little mistake he made. You didn’t say anything though, watching as he enthusiastically took food out of a bag and placed it in front of the both of you.

“Did I forget a special date or something? I really didn’t, right?” You asked hesitatingly, you would feel really bad if it was your anniversary or something and Seungmin had prepared all of this while you hadn’t even had the slightest idea about what day was.

Your boyfriend looked at you with his boyish made that made you fall in love with him every single day and a chuckle broke the silence between the both of you as he shook his head “Nah, I just felt like doing something special” He reached back shyly, scratching the back part of his neck “It was more perfect in my mind, it’s my first time preparing a picnic and well I really didn’t-”

“This is perfect” You cut him off, probably feeling as shy as him right now. Seungmin and you hadn’t even dated for a year and the two of you still had moments were your shyness got control of the situation. The fact that he had taken time out of his busy schedule to prepare something for this really flattered you “Like man, I don’t know what you’re planning for our first year anniversary but now it’s going to be really difficult to surpass this” You joked, willing to relax the timid atmosphere between the two of you

“I’ll come up with something” He shrugged still smiling, handing you your chopsticks so the two of you could begun eating. 

You shivered again and this time, even though it was dark and you have thought he was too focused on the food to noticed, Seungmin had seen the soft shaking of your body when the wind blew once again. “Come here” He said, opening his legs and motioning for you to sit between them.

“I’m fine, really, I’m not cold” You said shaking your head, the last thing you wanted to do was make him sit in an uncomfortable position just because you were a little cold.

“Come here” He repeated softer, sweeter and you found yourself unable to resist to the pout on his lips, to the puppy eyes he was giving you “Let me spoil you with a little of affection alright?”

Two seconds after he said those words you were sitting between his legs. Seungmin’s chest was pressed against your back while his arms stayed by your side as he reached out to get some food. At first it had been a little difficult to eat for him being in that position but now that he had got used to it, he ate perfectly fine. During the whole dinner, his warmth surrounding your body improved the whole experienced and let’s not even talk about the random yet sweet kisses he kept leaving on your cheeks when you least expected it.

When the plates and bowls he brought were empty, you found yourself leaning back against his body while his hands rested on your tummy. Your face was between his shoulder and neck, allowing you to breathe in his addictive scent with every single breath you took. Seungmin looked down at you with a smile, clearly content and proud of himself as he leaned down to press the softest kiss on your lips.

“Thanks” You whispered against his lips, afraid that your loud voice could break the moment between the both of you. “For being the best boyfriend ever” His smile only widened and right there, you decided you wanted to be the only person who could make him smile like that for the rest of your lives.

“Everything for the best girlfriend ever” He whispered back, kissing your lips again.

Your kisses would have probably kept going if you hadn’t been interrupted by a bunch of loud voices.

“Are you guys done making out!? We are about to light up the fireworks!” You recognized that voice as Minho’s, the teasing tone gave him away too quick

“Minho! Seungmin told us to be quiet!” A flustered Jeongin scolded

“Dude they can hear you two, you know? We’re not that far” You couldn’t help but laugh at Hyunjin’s frustrated tone, Seungmin just smiled with soft frustration adorning his features as he rested his head on your shoulder

“Shut up guys! Let them have their date in peace geeze” Changbin tried to calm them but you knew that wouldn’t happen

“You mean make out session” Jisung joined, both of your cheeks were turning pink but you simply couldn’t stop laughing

“Seungmin is so killing us when we get back to the dorms” Woojin muttered quietly but low enough for you to hear

“Light the fireworks already man” Felix, with his deep voice, broke the silence surrounding all of you

“LiGhT tHe FiReWorKs AlReAdY mAn” Hyunjin mocked him, making you laugh even harder.

"I'm sorry Seungmin! I really tried to control them!" Chan shouted, looking in our direction

Seungmin sighed, burying his face in the crook of your neck embarrassed as you laughed even more "Remind me not to ask them for help on another of our dates" He muttered smiling a little, your happiness was just contagious. 

"You kidding? They're too funny, it made this better" You said nudging his side trying to make him feel less embarrassed about it.

Seungmin nodded, resting his chin on your shoulder when the first firework exploded "They interrupted our moment though" He whined nuzzling your cheek

"Don't worry, we can start all over again" You said grinning, pressing your lips against his in another passionate yet gently kiss.