#Last one might be longer? Dunno.
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creepy-crowleys · 1 year ago
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From west to north, north to east, east to south, south to west once more, all lost things spiral into the maw of the sea, never to be let go. It sifts through the refuse of its Atlantic garbage patch, reducing, reusing, recycling that which captures its interest. Your forms make such malleable clay, and the sea offers no shortage of materials from which to build an army.
The wind howled and the rain poured in sheets the moment Crowley set foot on the small island - and still it did little to cut through the dense fog that now choked the shore.
Down the beach, a small ship had disemboweled itself upon the rocky shore, red weed spilling from the wound like entrails and bloated blue corpses slithering through the gore like eels.
Crowley swore sharply under her breath, narrowly avoiding the barnacle-crusted crustacean claw that cracked against the ground where she’d stood split-seconds before. The Behemoth roared, broken fragments of language further shattered in its fury as it swiped its second claw around, pincers snapping loud enough to rival the thunder overhead.
All along the shore, amphibious monstrosities peeled themselves from the waves on webbed limbs and razor claws against the gunfire of the Council agents stationed there, all reduced to vague shades amidst the dark and rain and fog.
And in the distance, silhouetted against flashes of lightning, the grandest shade loomed at the edge of the lighthouse’s ward, claws drawing golden sparks against the barrier from high over head.
The Lord of the Deep called.
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skenpiel · 2 years ago
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@eebie DANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the dance is from this video ♪(^∇^*)
#HI EEBIE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!LOL#i made this beccause i was listening to that penis song i sent you and i thought it sounded like a song gobou would use#also i wanted a dancing eeber gif ^___^#keep in mind i ummm. have only animated once before and that was years ago and very very very short#and also it was totally sketchy and stuff. as in it was just a sketch there was no lineart or colors or anything#and also csp apparently dosent let you export transparent animations!?!?!?!? and also it doesnt let you use more than 25 frames!?!?!?!?#its stupid. so i just made a gif on EZGIF.COM instead<333#which is why the edges look kinda. um. wack. sorry about that but maybe itll go away when this posts? i dunno but i doubt it#btw i think i have eeber poisoning or something. because i draw her all the time everywhere........#ive drawn her so many times in some stupid little sketchbook we have in our kitchen when i wait for stuff in tha microwave#her design is just sooooo. Yeah!!!!!!!!#anyway this took Ummm significantly longer than id hoped and my back hurts sooooobad#so im going to bed!!!!!!!! but anyways here u go babygirkl <333333#my art#oh and btw i only listened to the penis (eek!) song while drawing this and nothing else#just. the same penis song for hours on end#and i said i was gonna take abreak when i was done with the lines before i started coloring but 😀👍 i forfot#OH WAIY ONE LAST YBING. i got cery noticably lazy like halfway through so dontt look too close at the frames or youu might get scared 😨
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reminiscingtonight · 13 days ago
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The Bet
Leah Williamson x Stanway!Reader
Word Count: 769
[WOSO Masterlist]
“So like… do you hate me or something?”
It’s six am on a Wednesday morning and you’re definitely not awake enough to be having this conversation. But be it as it may, Leah’s taken it upon herself to drag you to some cafe close to your place for your pre-game breakfast tradition.
Ever since you began dating, if Leah had a game coming up, the two of you would go grab a bite to eat in the morning. 
And usually everything is great. You and Leah will have a quick catch up as if you don’t spend every second of every minute together, and you’ll pretend to be interested when Leah begins talking about football. 
But it’s six in the morning and you’ve barely even sat down before Leah is glaring at you as if you woke up this morning with the sole purpose of offending her. 
“Why in the world are you wearing a Bayern jersey?” The disgust in her voice is palpable and you have to resist the urge to roll your eyes. 
“You mean my sister’s jersey?”
“A Bayern jersey,” she repeats. If you stare hard enough you’d swear you can see her shudder at the name of the other team. 
“Your best friend’s jersey,” you shoot back, paying Leah no mind as you browse the menu.
Leah’s eye twitches. “Bayern. Jersey. Where is the girlfriend loyalty?”
Sometimes you wonder how the stubborn person sitting in front of you is best friends with your sister. Leah may be stoic and the captain of the national team, but then you remember that she’s also equal parts a child at heart as your sister. The countless pranks Georgia and Leah have pulled on you when the three of you were growing up is a testament to that, and it’s a miracle why you ever decided to give Leah a chance. 
“Babe, she won the bet. And a Stanway promise is a Stanway promise.”
“Georgia isn’t even here right now!” Leah whines, a second away from banging her head on the table. 
Georgia and Leah have always been competitive. And the second you started dating Leah meant their bets extended to you. If Leah won a game? You were dressed up as a living memento of all things Arsenal. If Georgia won a game, you’d be forced to wear nothing but the colors of her club for days to come. The stakes only go up higher when the two of them have a match against each other. 
Since Bayern won the last game, Georgia smugly told you to wear her jersey at the second leg game tonight. You were never one to back down from a challenge, so on the jersey went. Leah spent days trying to convince you to cut up the jersey, or let her accidentally place it in the washer, but you were unmoved. You might not be a Bayern fan at heart, but you’ll always support your sister, and damaging your Stanway jersey would be grounds for a break up.
“Can you at least, I dunno, cover it up or something?” Leah groans, waving her hand around your top as if staring at it any longer will cause her to melt to the ground,
“You are a child,” you sigh, doing nothing of the such. 
“We’re getting looks from people around!”
You roll your eyes. The barista had taken one look at your jersey and then your girlfriend before smirking. You’re regulars at this place and even they are attuned to the fragility of your girlfriend’s ego. 
“Eat your toast, darling.”
Breakfast carries on in silence, and it isn’t until the third time you catch Leah’s pout that you break. 
“Will it make you feel better if I wear an Arsenal beanie?”
Leah perks up a bit before she realizes you mean paired with your Stanway jersey. “No.”
“Babe, it’s the Arsenal beanie or nothing.”
“How ‘bout nothing? I quite like the look of you dressed up in nothing.” Leah giggles and jerks backward when you reach across the table to punch her shoulder.
“Nothing but the Bayern jersey,” you deadpan, internally laughing at the way Leah’s face instantly falls. 
“How about this. You win the game tonight and I’ll wear nothing but the Arsenal jersey.”
It takes a second for the words to register. Leah blinks, mouth dropping open a bit. 
“And the red lace you love.”
You laugh when Leah’s up in an instant, ushering you towards the door like a woman on a mission.
“No time to waste, babe, gotta get to the Colney and train so I’m ready to win tonight.”
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whisperofwonder · 21 days ago
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Oh, Baby | Part 2
part 1 is here - pregnant!reader
Haikyuu men as new(ish) fathers
Featuring: Miya Osamu, Kuroo Tetsurou, Kageyama Tobio, Sakusa Kiyoomi
You don't really have to read part 1, but these are set after those drabbles, and they each do call back to them in some way
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MIYA OSAMU
At the jingle of the familiar bell, Osamu looks up, smile breaking across his face at the sight of you walking through the door. Your son is bundled up in his carrier, sleeping soundly after all the excitement of his six week doctor's appointment. Osamu steps around the counter to meet you, reaching to grab the carrier as he steals a quick kiss. "How'd the appointment go?" He asks as you settle into your usual stool at the counter, situating the baby carrier next to you.
"Good," You nod, looking down at the peaceful face of your sleeping son, still drinking him in after all these weeks. "Everything is going well. He's growing so fast." You look up at your husband and catch him still looking down at the baby. You wonder if your emotions are as obvious as his, drawn so clearly across his face.
"Good," He finally tears his eyes away to look at you, softness still lingering. "Are ya hungry?" He asks next - the question you've been waiting for.
"Starving," You say emphatically. With the busyness of the morning, you haven't had time to eat much. The delightful smells coming from the kitchen are only making you hungrier.
"What're ya in the mood for?"
You know immediately. You usually do. "Spicy tuna."
"Ya sure?" He quirks an eyebrow. You frown as he leans in closer across the counter, a smirk growing on his face. "I mean, it sounds so normal."
"Oh, stop it!" You huff. "It's been months!" You aren't sure if he'll ever let you forget the bizarre onigiri combinations your pregnancy cravings had produced.
"Yer lucky I love ya," He says fondly, ducking back into the kitchen before you can make any kind of retort. It isn't long before he returns, setting the plate of onigiri in front of you with a flourish.
"Thank you," You say, tilting your chin up in invitation. Osamu glances around, the few regulars in the restaurant familiar enough with the two of you, before taking you up on the invitation, kissing you a little more deeply than he might have otherwise.
"Yer welcome," He says softly as he pulls away, "Better eat it before it gets cold." You don't need any more prompting, eagerly reaching for one of the onigiri and taking a big bite. You close your eyes in delight, savoring it. Across from you, Osamu rests his forearms on the counter, content to watch in silence as you enjoy the food he'd prepared for you.
You're nearly finished when the bell above the door jingles again, and Osamu greets the customers who have just entered.
"We should get going," You murmur to him, and he nods. You pop the last bite in your mouth and gather your things while he takes the order, stopping back by your seat after dropping it off in the kitchen.
"I'll see you both when I get home," He says, brushing his fingertips against your son's soft cheek.
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KUROO TETSUROU
"Go ahead," Tetsurou insists, "Go take a shower. A long shower. Or a bath, even. I've got this." He bounces your daughter in his arms, still fussing even though she's just been fed.
"But, Tetsu," You look down at her scrunched up face, the sounds of her unhappiness tugging at your heartstrings.
"She'll be fine," He says in a soothing voice - you aren't sure whether it's for your sake, or the baby's. "And you deserve it. When's the last time you've taken a shower that lasted longer than five minutes?" He asks pointedly.
"Dunno," You mumble, resting your hand on her tummy. She does seem to be settling down, just a little. "If you're sure," You say, beginning to relent.
"I'm sure," He says, in a tone you usually know better than to argue with. "I'll get her changed and all ready for bed by the time you're done," He promises.
You do as he says, taking an admittedly much-needed shower. You take your time washing your hair, even using the fancy hair mask and body scrub your friend had gifted you at the baby shower - a little something for you, she'd said with a small knowing smile. You hadn't even opened them until today.
You're surprised by how much better you really do feel, afterwards. You're warm, your hair is soft, and you smell good. Once you slip into your cozy pajamas, you're almost ready to fall asleep right then and there. You have to check on your husband and daughter, though.
They aren't in the nursery. The bedroom sounds suspiciously quiet. Slowly, you push the door open, not expecting the sight you're greeted with.
Your husband is lying on top of the covers, head tipped back against the pillows as he dozes. On his chest, your daughter is snuggled up, her pudgy cheek smushed against him, fist clutching a handful of his t-shirt. He has a hand resting protectively across her back, holding her close. For a few moments, you're frozen in the doorway, taking in the sight before you. You press your fingers to your lips as the emotions well up in your chest.
You must make some kind of sound, because Tetsurou soon stirs, turning his head to look at you. "Hey," He says blearily, "I was just resting my eyes."
You smile softly, finally making your way across the room to them now that the spell is broken. "Sure," You tease gently, not begrudging him the moments of sleep he'd managed to steal.
"How was your shower?" He asks as you curl yourself against him, cheek resting on his shoulder as you look down at your sleeping daughter.
"Good," You whisper. "Really nice. Thank you." He presses a kiss to the top of your head in response. You watch her in silence for a few moments, sleeping so contently snuggled against her daddy's chest. "You got her to sleep," You comment softly. It shouldn't come as a surprise - it's one of your favorite places to fall asleep as well.
"Yeah," He hums, "I think she just wanted some snuggles." He tucks the fingers of his fee hand beneath the hem of your shirt, tracing aimless shapes there. "Sounds a little bit like someone else I know," He adds with a soft chuckle.
"Well, we can't help it that you're just so snuggly," You murmur. You reach out to gently brush your fingertips against her fist. You don't want to wake her up, but you can't resist. You tilt your head up to look at him. "You help us feel safe," You add.
He shifts her on his chest, just enough that he can crane his neck far enough to kiss you. "Good," He murmurs against your lips.
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KAGEYAMA TOBIO
You wake with a start. It comes back to you - Tobio had gotten up to check on your daughter when she started fussing, and you'd been waiting for him to come back to bed. You must have drifted off, but he still isn't back in his spot beside you. His pillow is cold now, and you aren't sure just how long he's been gone.
The house is quiet, but you can't shake your concern. Slipping out of bed, you pad to the nursery just a few steps away. In the warm glow of the night light, you see him sitting in the rocking chair by the crib, arms folded on the edge of it and chin rested on his arms.
"Tobio?" He jerks his head up, turning to look at you. "What are you doing?" You move beside him, taking in the sight he seems so enraptured by. Your daughter is sleeping, her small chest rising and falling with her soft breaths. Her nose scrunches, just for a moment, then relaxes again. It makes your heart twist in your chest.
"Sorry. Got distracted, I guess," He whispers, lowering his head to his arms again. "I was just thinking, her nose looks a lot like yours. Doesn't it?" He turns to look at you.
"I guess so," You murmur back.
"It's a nice nose," He says matter of factly.
"I guess so," You repeat with a quiet laugh. "Don't you want to come back to bed?"
"Soon," He nods, "Just a couple more minutes." You both fall silent then, and he slips an arm around your waist, pulling you down onto the arm of the chair. Slowly, you lean your head against his. You find yourself thinking that you could stay like this forever - pressed up against him, looking down at the perfect little person that is your daughter.
Sure, you'll be tired in the morning, but what else is new?
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SAKUSA KIYOOMI
"That doesn't go in the dishwasher," You say from your spot on the couch, the one seat with a perfect view into the kitchen. You're feeding your son, and Kiyoomi is cleaning up.
"I know," He says evenly, turning and setting the bottle next to the sink with the others. "I'll wash them after the dishwasher is loaded."
"Oh," You say softly. It's been harder for you than you'll admit, accepting so much help from Kiyoomi. You'd been so confident that you could still do everything, even after the baby came, but it's proven to be much more difficult than you'd so naively anticipated.
"I'm sorry," You say with a sigh, watching as he rinses off the dinner plates before slotting them in the dishwasher. "You shouldn't have to be doing this. I could have done it, right after he's finished eating."
Kiyoomi stops, putting the mug he'd just picked up back in the sink. He crosses the kitchen, sinking down next to you on the couch. You put down the bottle, adjusting your son in your arms.
"Hey," He says quietly, dipping his chin to meet your gaze. "Don't do that."
"Do what?" You ask, tugging a wrinkle out of your son's onesie and using the action as an excuse to look down at him instead of into your husband's eyes.
"Think that you have to handle everything. We're a team, remember?" You make a sound that he could interpret as agreement if he wanted to. He sighs. "You're incredible, and I love you," He says, tilting your chin up with his fingertips so you have no choice but to look at him again. "A month ago, I watched you do the hardest thing you've ever done, and I couldn't do anything to make it easier for you. The least I can do now is wash a few dishes."
You want to smile. You want to cry. Hormones are stupid. "Kiyoomi," You say softly as his thumb swipes away a tear you hadn't realized slipped down your face.
"I'm going to keep doing my part, so you might as well accept it." He leans in and presses a kiss to your temple. "Okay?"
"Okay," You say, smile growing on your face. "Kiyoomi?" You add after a beat, when it's clear he isn't getting up quite yet, "The dishwasher isn't going to load itself, you know."
He opens his mouth, then closes it with a shake of his head, trying to disguise the smile playing at the corners of his lips. "Yes ma'am."
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nerdygirlramblings · 11 days ago
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Off to See the Wizard (3)
previous | next
tw: canon-typical violence, bad accents
"Wut?" Simon stutters, in a voice you've never heard before. You've been on comms with him when missions have gone to shit, and he has never sounded as nervous as he does right now.
"It's just-" You huff out a breath. Why does this have to be so hard? Usually conversation flows with Simon like a stream over rocks, smooth and unhurried. "It seems like you're upset. You looked like you wanted to hide when John introduced us, and now..." You let the sentence trail off. "Where's the man who, two weeks back, spent watch sharing the worst puns I've ever heard?"
Simon looks at you, finally meeting your eyes, before glancing quickly away. "I dunno wha' 'cher talkin' about," he mumbles.
You can't help but snort in response. "That's such bullshit, Simon! You forget I've heard you lie before," you remind him. "You're usually much better than this."
Simon's mask twitches and you glimpse little laugh lines at the corners of his eyes. You think maybe he's smiling a little behind the mask.
You decide to push your luck, knowing your Simon is stuck somewhere in this man who seems to sit so uneasily in his place. So you smile and say, "Go ahead and give me another."
Simon holds your gaze a few moments longer than last time and mutters you, "I don' like change."
You keep your eyes on his, on the parts of his face you can see, and on the way his hands are twitching against the table top. "Liar." You're grinning at him now.
Simon flattens his hands against the table and leans forward a little bit. Lowering his voice, he says, "We don' need help."
"Eeeh!" You make a buzzer sound and tell him, "Wrong answer, but thanks for playing." He chuckles like you're used to, low and dark. "I've seen the same intel you have, and you're going to want me on the other side of those comms."
This time he looks at you and holds your gaze. "Yer right, Oz. We will."
You're so shocked at the first honest response from him you don't know what to do. You gape at him for a moment, unsure of what to expect next, when he floors you again.
Simon looks down at the table and, so quietly you think you misheard, says, "Yer prettier 'an I thought you'd be. An' I knew you'd be pretty."
You're saved from having to respond at all as Kyle, Soap, and John finally come back with food.
"Scran's nae bad teday," Soap says, sliding a tray in front of you. You mumble out your thanks and catch John looking between you and Simon. You hope he can't see how nervous you are. Simon's posture gives nothing away, which might be his biggest tell right now.
"Solid copy, Ghost?" John asks him, and he merely grunts as he digs into his food.
The rest of your day is spent going back over the information you have. Laswell agreed with your idea for transport, so you spend a few hours arranging something both more discreet and reliable, calling in a favor or two in her name.
By the time dinner rolls around, you have given yourself no less than a dozen pep talks about your interaction with Simon at lunch. You've played out a million different scenarios and finally opted to take your cues from him.
You don't have long to wait as he and Soap come to your office at 6:30. He stands back and lets Soap do most of the talking, which he does all the way to the barracks. When you get there, you give him a quizzical look. "I don't know the base we'll, but isn't the mess the other way?"
Soap's smile borders on feral. "Aye, but Cap'n decided, 'cuz a yer bein 'ere, to take ye off base tonight." Beside him, you catch Simon's eye and the eye roll he gives to Soap's back.
"Cap'n jus' wan'ed tuh show ya some 'a the city, seein' as you'll be here instead 'a home when we're gone." He finishes quietly. Seems like no one is happy when reminded the whole reason you're here is to support them while they're gone.
Simon unlocks the barracks and ushers you in, following behind with a gentle hand on your lower back. Now three of your boys have made the same unconscious motion. When will Soap? "We're gonna head out in 20. Tha enough time fer ya ta get ready?" he asks.
You look at him and Soap and notice they're dressed in civvies. You're not sure how you missed that detail before because now that you really look, it's clear they've cleaned up and changed since lunch. "Twenty should be fine. I mean, it's not fancy, right?"
Soap winks at you, "Nah. Ya look perfect already, bon. Yoo could go as ya are 'n be feen."
You pause, smile frozen on your face. You don't know how to take that compliment , so you stammer, "Uh, thanks. I'll just..." You point towards your room. "Meet you in the rec room?"
Simon nods, and you walk away. You hear a light thump and an "Oi, Lt, wha' was tha' fer?" as your door closes.
It turns out John's idea of a tour of the town is more about how to get off base and where not to go alone. "Unfortunately, can' let ya borrow a military ride, Oz. Yer not cleared for 'em." So instead he shows you where to catch the bus - "ne'er do a ride share. Can' have 'em on base" - and where some key places in town are. "Asda's gunna have e'rything ya need 's far as snacks 'n toiletries. An' if ya want food tha's not from the mess, pick somethin' over 'ere," he says, sweeping his arm to the streets northwest of where the bus would drop you.
He doesn't take his own advice though, parking in a lot several blocks south and taking everyone to a pub bearing the name The Dancing Bear. The others walk ahead of you and John. Clearly this is a place they've been before.
As you follow the group into the space, the man behind the bar calls out to John who simply raises a open hand. You watch the man's eyebrows rise while he looks over the group, finally landing on you. You can't quite interpret the look he gives John, but he points to a table towards the back. You notice it's nestled in an area not immediately viewable from the door but with a line of sight to most of the room. As they had at lunch, Simon and John take up positions along the wall where they can see almost everything. Kyle and Soap are sat next to John and Simon respectfully, which leaves you to take the seat between the two sergeants.
You hear heavy steps come up behind you, and while your first instinct is to tense - you completely understand why soldiers and cops try to not put their backs to a room - no one you're with seems concerned.
When the footsteps stop, a gruff voice says, "Nice ta see ya, boys. An' ye've brought a friend."
You assume this is the same man from behind the bad, but while John was smiling a moment ago, you can tell it's now strained. You can only guess what caused the change.
"What've they got on you, dollface? Ye're too gorgeous to be here, with them, by choice." The man laughs at his own joke as you turn. You don't know how often the boys come here, and you certainly don't want to burn bridges if they think the joke is funny, so you simply give the man a tight smile.
John gets his attention and orders drinks for the boys then looks to you. You order a soda; these guys do not need to see what a lightweight you are, and you definitely don't need your inhibitions lowered. Kyle orders chips and curry for the table as you all decide on your meals.
The atmosphere is much different than at lunch, when the lore of being the 141 kept you insulated. John and Simon are scowling more than before, to the point where you suggest everyone heads back to base.
"Why?" Simon asks.
You look at him then over your shoulder to the small group playing darts, the few people at the bar, the man who was at your table and another woman, both making drinks behind the bar. "Oh, I don't know," you drawl. "Maybe because it looks like you're trying to stare the place down."
Simon's eyes snap to yours as Soap giggles. "She's got a point, Lt. Yeh look right pissed."
He turns slightly to see where Simon has been staring, his own face morphing from carefree to annoyed as Simon says, "It'd be fine 's long 's other people'd mind their fuckin' business."
You look at him pleadingly. "Then let's go, really. I want this to be nice for us all, and clearly you're bothered by something."
Simon looks at John who claps a hand on his shoulder. "Oz's right, Ghost. Let it go or we're gone." Though he's calm and the tone is light, John's words come across as a mild threat.
You make it through the meal without another incident, but as you get up to leave, the guys take up positions around you. It's impossible to miss the way John leads the way with Kyle and Soap chatting your ears off while Simon trails you silently.
Back at the barracks, you say your goodnights and turn in while the others meet in John's office. "Tha' was a bad idea," Ghost says. "Too many eyes on 'er."
"Not sure base is any better," Gaz says. "Plenty a' the rookies saw 'er as I walked 'er to lunch. Got the feeling some idiot is biding their time 'til we're gone."
Price looks around at them. "Is this something ya want? Truly?"
"How can we not, Cap?" Soap asks. "She's perfect. And perfect fer us." Gaz nods, and Ghost meets Price's eyes unblinkingly.
"Alright then. We got less than a week to get this done."
part 1 part 2 part 4
~~
Taglist: @blackhawkfanatic @starriestarlight @grayskel @mxtokko @imjustheretofightforlove @miss-vanta-likes-to-write
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macfrog · 1 year ago
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jet
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🎉 thank u guys so much for 1k followers 🎉 i don’t know how we got here but i love you all endlessly and can’t thank you enough for all the love n support. here’s some smutty joel to celebrate 🤩 this might become something, it might not. i dunno. wanted to try it out tho. lmk your thoughts ✨
pairing: joel miller x fem!reader
summary: you and joel have an agreement: follow his movements, follow his orders, stay alive. what happens when, one night, he asks you to break the deal?
warnings: 18+ (minors dni!!!) post-outbreak!joel, pining i guess?? when don't i pine for this man, praise kink, light bondage, fingering, unprotected p in v sex (don't u dare), creampie, dom!joel, soft!joel, age gap (late 20s reader, late 40s joel), cursing, cute horsies
word count: 6.9k
main masterlist
Somewhere between Missouri and Illinois, last time you checked. Joel has the map, and you don’t bother asking him to see it much. You’ve been following the Mississippi north, on his orders, looking to hit St. Louis sometime tomorrow. Provided you don’t run into any trouble, that is.
It’s been three days with no safe refuge. Camping out in deserted houses with wood for windowpanes, stores infested with rats, office buildings with infected roaming. Joel figures the outskirts of the city are a good spot to stop for a couple nights, regain your strength, find supplies.
You’re a few paces ahead of him, only turning your head slightly when you notice an offramp, and looking back ahead when he doesn’t give any direction. You weave in and out of abandoned cars, hips swaying with the clipping of your horse’s hooves on broken asphalt, Joel’s horse in time at your heels.
You’d untethered the pair of them on a farm back in Nebraska. Joel had told you to stay put while he cleared the house, but you’d wandered over to the field when you spotted them. Timid, skittish, starving.
Five minutes hooked over the fence and they were both eating grass you’d pulled from the earth, right out of your hand. Joel’s heavy footsteps approaching had spooked them back a few steps, but you’d petted their muzzles and when he did the same, they soon warmed to him, too.
He’d jerked his head in a nod and muttered, “Good job,” before finding two saddles, strapping them on, and helping you onto the chestnut brown one – who you’d named Jet.
Joel had found tins of food in the farmhouse, and a switchblade for you to carry. He had a new stain on his shirt.
“Infected?” you asked.
He grunted in reply. Then rolled the tins into his backpack and hoisted himself onto his own horse, giving her reins a tug.
You knew that meant that yeah, there’d been infected inside. And recent, too, going by how well-kept the horses looked. It can’t have been longer than a week.
Joel’s silence as you both wandered down the farm track probably meant that there weren’t just adults in the house, either.
You’d glanced over to him, giving him a small smile. Bent over and reached for his horse’s ears, scratching where her soft black coat met her mane. The reins lay loose around Joel’s knuckles.
Protecting and providing for you was more important than some infected kids in a farmhouse. Joel had made that more than clear over the time you’d been with him. But somewhere, buried deep underneath years of fighting and killing, tucked away under a dusty flannel shirt, you knew his heart was hurting.
That was two weeks ago. Joel hasn’t talked about it, and you’re not interested in bringing it back up. Y’all got to the farm, took everything it had to offer, and you left.
Jet clicks her way along the highway somewhere south of the city. It’s still bright out; Joel reckons probably a few more hours of sunlight, so you know he’ll be scouting for places to camp out soon.
You lean back to stretch your spine, hand steadying yourself on Jet’s rump, her tail swishing as she walks. Her head bobs, looking from left to right, from the trucks with smashed windows sprouting moss, over to the trees losing leaves in the fall breeze.
It’s peaceful. Not much is, these days.
It’s quiet enough that Joel can listen for any sound of oncoming threat, and quiet enough that you can shut your eyes and pretend like you’re on some trail in the Texas country, on a warm summer evening; not exhausted, covered in dirt, weeks since you washed, days since you slept.
You’re humming gently to yourself, imagination taking you down by a creek where Joel pulls you by hand off the horse and you sit down to a picnic or something. He’d bring a basket. Maybe a bottle of wine, or a cheese board. Maybe he lays you back and kisses you on the blanket. Maybe his hand starts to wander up your thigh, skirt ruffling as he goes…
“Not much out here, is there?”
His voice startles you, bursting the seams of your daydream. He isn’t much of a talker, not unless you start it. You sit up straight and give your head a shake, as if dislodging the fantasy from your mind.
You twist around to look at his face; squinting under the bright white sky. Tired, same as you, lined, flecked with years and sun and survival.
“Hm?” he asks when you still don’t reply.
“Not a lot,” you finally say, clearing your throat and turning back to the road.
Finding the horses isn’t the only thing that’d happened two weeks ago.
Joel hadn’t wanted to camp in the farmhouse, hadn’t wanted to have to shift the bodies. Too much effort, or too much for you to see, maybe. You’d protested, heart set on a night’s sleep in an actual bed, but he hadn’t budged.
And you knew not to push him.
The sun was setting, though, so Joel led you down a dirt track toward a barn and burst the padlock. He tied the horses up just inside the door, used bundled up hay as a makeshift mattress upon which he laid out a blanket for you.
He barricaded the door as you lay back, did a walkaround of the place just in case any infected – or worse – were waiting to surprise y’all, and then sat down next to you.
Your head by his thigh, you put a hand on his knee.
“You can lie down, too, y’know.”
He grunted in response, breathing deep and steady.
“Joel.”
You took his shoulder and tried to pull him down to you, but the man is stronger than anyone you’ve ever met, even in his late forties, and you were convinced he’d only pretended to be yanked toward you so as not to hurt your feelings too much.
He remained upright. “Just want to keep watch for a while.”
Joel’s like this when you’re on the road. He’s cautious. On high alert. Always watching ahead, always listening out for whatever he thinks he might hear in the distance. Sometimes you can say something to him and have to give his leg a kick for him to answer you.
You’d sighed and pushed yourself up to lean your bicep against his. He furrowed his brows and scanned you from your jeans to your jaw.
“If you’re up, I’m up,” you told him.
“You need sleep,” he replied flatly.
You shrugged. “So do you.”
“What good is both of us tired?”
You sighed again and shook your head. You weren’t gonna argue with him.
Good thing he didn’t feel much like arguing, either. Ten minutes later he was on top of you, jeans loose on his thighs, head buried in your shoulder, fucking you senseless. Grunting and groaning into your skin.
You’d scored marks into his shoulder blades with your nails that you’re sure, if you peeled back his shirt right now, would still be there.
It’d tired you both out enough that Joel settled with your head on his chest, his hand in your hair, eyes trained on the barn doors. You don’t know if he slept a wink. You never know if he sleeps these days.
Joel hears the hoarseness of your voice and knows that you’re tired, ‘cause he clicks to his horse and she trots up alongside you and Jet. He pulls the map from his backpack. You tilt your head to take a look.
“Keep ridin’ for another hour,” he mumbles. “’m sure we’ll find somewhere soon. Looks like we’re still a little way out of St. Louis.”
You nod, rolling your head back. The cloudy sky burns your corneas as you watch a bird fly overhead. Joel slips the map back into his bag and you feel his hand on your thigh.
“You okay?”
“Mhm. Tired,” you whisper.
“Only a little while longer.” He gives your leg a small squeeze and his hand returns to the reins. He doesn’t fall back, instead, stays ambling along by your side. It feels like company. Feels nice. Feels…normal.
Two weeks is a long fucking time. Especially when your adrenaline peaks on the regular, sometimes multiple times in one day, and you’re alone with Joel all day and all night. Trusting each other, relying on each other. Saving each other time and time again. It was only natural that you began to rely on each other for…more than just survival.
You can’t remember when you found him. It was in the QZ, back when you believed in stability and structure. When you believed in people. Now, the only thing you believed in was Joel. Broken, hurt, shut-off Joel, who’d grumbled an apology when his shoulder brushed yours in the hallway and changed everything.
You like to think you were something new to him, something different. A challenge, maybe. Something worth holding onto, anyway, for reasons he was yet to let you in on.
He had an apartment of his own, with a bed of his own, which was something you weren’t used to. You shared a cramped apartment with Luce, a single mom with a two-year-old. Joel’s was where you went when the tantrums, the screaming in the middle of the night, the ration cards being destroyed either by ripping, by eating, or else by other means, became too suffocating.
Joel didn’t believe in anything or anyone, either. That’s what kept you coming back.
He’d just open his door and step aside to let you in. Barely a word. He’d ask if you’d eaten, and share his plate with you either way. Wordlessly picking away at the same food, making sure you got the last spoonful of soup, the last strip of jerky.
Most nights he’d fuck you until your mind went blank, nothing but the smell of him, feel of him, sound of him. No talking, no kissing, no touching. Just the sound of the bed springs, Joel’s soft groans as he bottomed out inside you. The feel of his hot skin, hips rubbing against the inside of your thighs. The bare, cracked brick walls of his apartment would fade away with each thrust, and then slowly seep back in when your orgasm began to wash away.
You knew it was time-wasting, for both of you. Scratching an itch. But some nights, it felt like more. The nights when he’d be so caught up in what he was doing, so caught up in you, that he’d forget to pull out. The nights his hips would snap messily and suddenly he was spilling inside of you, a deep groan humming against your skin between his teeth.
He wouldn’t care to ask, and you wouldn’t offer the information for free, but you remember every fucking time he did it. Where it’d happened, the position he had you in, how long it took for him to finally peel his body off of yours.
And afterwards, he’d let you sleep with your head on his chest. Let you play with his fingers. Let you talk to him; let you ask questions.
Didn’t mean he answered all of them. Didn’t even mean he answered much. Some, he’d give away more openly than others, but you soon got used to clocking when he was keeping a secret. Make a mental note of it, remember to chip away at it.
He trusted you, though; you knew that. Knew it by the way his fingers knotted safely in your hair, the way he’d lie naked with you until the sun came up. The way his breathing would slow, the way he’d mumble in his sleep.
You never talked to him about the incoherent words he’d breathe – but you could piece them together well enough to understand him better than his waken self would ever reveal.
When you brought up leaving, one rainy night weeks ago, he thought about it maybe twice over. Asked how he was supposed to keep you safe.
You do that already, you told him.
‘s different outside. You don’t understand.
It can’t be any worse than in here.
You’d taken a step forward, and he’d flinched, but allowed you to take his strong jaw in your hands. You tried to form a sentence, and when your throat closed up, eyes flitting between his, he took your wrists and lowered them. The shadow of a rain-spattered window doused in a sickly amber glow across his face.
You’d wanted to kiss him. And had he left your hands where they were just a few seconds longer, you think you might’ve. Joel saw it in your eyes, and stopped it.
Whatever. It had still convinced him. He packed his bag and you snuck down the fire escape the following night. Joel’s fingers were hooked around your belt loop the entire time, keeping your hip in stride with his all the way until you were at least a hundred feet away from the QZ wall.
His other concern was his age. Why someone like you would want to run away with someone like him. Forty-something, graying, past his peak. He has, like, twenty years on you. Once he made some reference about Bruce Springsteen and, when your face blanked, he sighed and took the bridge of his nose between his fingers.
I know who Bruce Springsteen is, asshole, you’d said, just didn’t get that reference.
He’d shaken his head and given you a sly, twisted smirk, then pushed you out the door of the apartment block you guys were searching.
Still, despite the years between you, you have one major thing in common.
You’re both good at getting each other…there.
Joel knows exactly what to do to make you tick. You know exactly how to push him until he does it. It’s in the way you look at him, the way you touch him. Things you say that make his stony eyes flit once down your body, and then you know you’re in.
It’s a little harder to do while on horseback, you gotta admit. The best you can do is look at him, say a sentence or two laced with want and need. Hope that he reads through the lines.
It’s worked a few times, when Joel’s suddenly found a shed or basement you can camp out in and then made it difficult for you to walk for the next couple days.
Right now, you feel too tired to even bat your eyelashes at him, never mind coming up with lines to turn him on. You’ve been on the highway for a few hours by this point, little sign of shelter anywhere nearby. Joel holds his hand out and you bring your horses to a stop in view of a hospital a couple miles ahead.
“That’s gotta be teemin’ with them,” you say, looking over to study his expression.
“Hm,” Joel agrees, and glances to the right.
“What you thinkin’? Sun’s getting lower.”
He takes a deep breath, pulls on the reins. “Know somewhere nearby.”
He heads off the highway with a click of his teeth, and you follow. You shut your eyes, chin burying beneath the collar of your shirt. You’d kinda hoped that he’d offer to clear even a small part of the hospital for you to rest up, maybe more, but you trust him enough to lead you somewhere safer, somewhere quieter.
That trust begins to wear thin, though, when the sun disappears behind the trees, drowning you guys in a low dusk, and the temperature begins to fall. Joel’s using what’s left of the gray light to guide him, slowing down to take a hold of Jet’s reins and line her up with his own horse.
“I thought you said an hour,” you mumble, grip becoming slack on the leather.
“Changed my mind,” he replies. “Almost there.”
Your eyes start to roll with exhaustion, hips aching from the position you’ve been sat in for hours now. It’s not until you notice the silhouette of a tall sign in the clearing, black against the fading purple sky, that you blink yourself awake.
Joel pulls you and Jet off the road to a deserted parking lot, shadowed by a motel. He slows the horses down, listening for any signs of life, leading them to the side of the building.
“Easy,” he whispers, pulling on the reins. Both animals come to a halt.
He slides off the saddle, hitting the ground with a thud. He takes your hands, pulling you down to him, and you glance around.
“Stay here,” he tells you, and you don’t have the energy to argue back.
He makes off, pulling his gun from his holster. You stand with a hand on each horse’s muzzle, gently petting. Joel’s gone for a decent amount of time, his silhouette slowly sneaking in and out of every room, spending a couple minutes in each before he clears it.
He returns with a box of pills, some gauze, and a bottle of water, which he hands to you. You take a long swig and pass it back, and he does the same.
“What will we do with Jet ‘n…?”
“Huh?” he asks, replacing the cap on the half-empty bottle.
“What’s your horse called?”
“She ain’t got a name.”
You tsk. “Bad owner.”
“We ain’t their owners.”
“Mine’s is Jet. Pick a name.”
Joel sighs and shakes his head, but you know he’s gonna spend all night thinking up some name to go with yours. “We’ll tie ‘em up out here.”
“What if something happens to them?”
“Well,” he says, leading them toward the shelter, “if somethin’ happens to them, it only means it’s about thirty seconds away from happenin’ to us.”
He jerks his head toward the first room as he ties them up, and you know the conversation is over.
You wander into the small, dingy room, pulling your jacket from your shoulders. It smells of damp, the wallpaper’s peeling off the wall above the bed. The sheets are in disarray, a little dusty, but they look clean enough. The bathroom walls are covered in grime. Drawers empty, closet doors missing, entire place ransacked.
It’s as good as you get, these days. At least it has a solid roof.
Joel settles the horses and closes the door gently behind himself. You’re already tugging your boots off, sat at the foot of the bed.
He rests his gun on the nightstand and straightens up, stretching his back with a quiet groan.
“’s cozy,” you offer, and he nods.
“Better ‘n risking that hospital.”
The bedsprings creak when you shimmy up the mattress, resting your back against the hardwood headboard. It ain’t the most comfortable, but then it’s not meant to be, is it? It’s only meant to be safe, which Joel’s made sure of.
He stands at the bottom of the bed, watching you as you bounce up and down a couple times, laughing quietly at the sound of the springs beneath you. His expression clouds over under low brows.
“Y’okay?” you ask, tilting your head.
He nods again. Eyes flitting up and down, from your face to your neck, back up, and then lower still. Your chest. Your stomach. Your legs. You feel your heartbeat quicken when he takes a step forward.
“Just had to find somewhere better.”
“Better?” You smile. “Have you seen the world, Miller?”
He leans his knee against the foot of the bed. His brown eyes darken even more, and his jaw tenses.
“Had to find somewhere better,” he mutters, “so I could fuck you in peace.”
Your breath catches. You stare from his lips back up to his eyes. His fists are balled tight. His chest heaves with steady panting. There’s something flickering in the depths of those warm eyes; an ember, drawing you in. Tantalizing you.
You sit forward, pushing onto all fours, and crawl down the groaning bed to him, rising onto your knees when your hands meet his shirt. Your chest against his stomach, you look up into his eyes.
His rough hands knot in your hair and he pulls down, yanking your head back and your chin up to him. He studies your face, outlined in the moonlight seeping through the window. Then he lowers his jaw and lines his lips against yours.
“That what you want?” he hums against your mouth. You swallow his words – they claw at your throat as they go.
“Uhuh,” you breathe back, trying to connect your lips. He doesn’t allow you; steadily dodges your jaw like you’re a pair of negative magnets, repelling off one another. You moan.
“Needy girl,” Joel whispers. “Two weeks too long for you?”
“Mhm.”
You’re not tired anymore. You’re fucking desperate. You feel your cunt dripping, seeping through your underwear, worsened when Joel’s hand reaches down between your legs and cups you through your jeans.
You gasp and grab his arms to steady yourself.
“Tell me what you want,” he says, hand tensing around your core.
Your lip trembles as you watch the way his mouth moves, how he shapes the words. His teeth locked between soft lips, dappled with brown hair, ends singed gray. The way he almost spits the words.
Your chest meets his torso when you breathe in, a deep, shaky breath. Joel notices; the corners of his mouth twitch, holding back a smile.
“Want you to…want you…”
He doesn’t wait for you to finish your sentence. He pushes you back and falls on top of you, strong body pinning you against the mattress, hand still clamped to your crotch.
His head dips to your neck where he bites, scratches and sucks, mumbling against your hot skin, “Tell me, baby. Use your words.”
Your head begins to swim, body starts pulsing with electricity. Baby. Joel’s pet names are limited to one thing. One activity.
“Want you to f– fuck, Joel – fuck me.” Fuck me fuck me fuck me.
His hand begins wrestling with the button of your jeans. Thick fingers fumbling with your zipper, taking your waistband with both hands and hauling it down. The force of it pulls you down the mattress too, squealing as Joel rips the denim from your legs. You lower your hands to help him, but once they’re tossed to the floor, he bats you away.
He’s shaking his head, tsking, then takes both your wrists in one of his huge hands. Fingers twisted around your delicate skin, pinning them above your head. The bed sighs around you when he pushes your hands into the mattress. Your back arches, your chest rising to meet his.
Your legs part, knees settling either side of his waist. Of course they do. It’s what you know now. It’s basic fucking instinct at this point.
His free hand returns to cup your sex, feeling how wet you are through your now soaked underwear.
“Baby,” he coos, “this all for me?”
You nod a little too eagerly, not that you’re present enough to care. But it beckons a smug smile from Joel, who begins sliding your panties down your thighs.
Your hips lift to let him drag the fabric down, biting your lip, not willing to wait another fucking second for him. Lace meets denim on the torn-up floor, and you sigh, settling back against the rusty bedsprings and mottled sheets.
Joel’s free hand ghosts from your wrist down to your elbow, teetering along the sleeve of your t-shirt over to the collar, where he pulls it so far down into the valley between your breasts that a small noise passes your lips.
“Hm?” he asks, fingers pausing against your breastbone.
“’s my only shirt. Don’t…”
He kisses his teeth. His gaze never lifts from your heaving chest, skin damp with sweat right underneath his fingers. You can see him tossing it over in his head. What he wants to do, versus what he probably shouldn’t.
He blinks. Decision made.
“Give you one of mine,” he growls, and hooks his fingers, dragging the fabric of your shirt lower and lower until the collar tears open and it’s another scrap lost to the motel room floor.
And then there you are, naked and writhing underneath him. He’s still in his dusty flannel. There’s sweat lining his forehead. He holds himself over you, hovering, taking every inch of you in and storing it behind his eyes.
You jerk your hands, trying to break free just to touch him, feel him, but he pulls away again, tutting.
“No, pretty girl,” Joel coos, “gonna take my time with ya.”
You moan in protest, still wriggling under his body. His grip on your wrists doesn’t loosen, not even when his free hand dips to undo his belt. The cold metal kisses your naked thighs when he pulls it through his jeans; the leather drags up your torso and across your face as he lifts it.
He takes your hands individually, careful and yet rough, urgent, and slots them between the slats of the headboard. Your head turns up to watch what he’s doing. The silver of his belt buckle knocks against the wood as he slips it under your wrists, feeding it between your skin and the mattress, wrapping it around the slat between your hands.
Then he slips the belt through the buckle, and pulls. Tight. Your hands come together, wrists kissing, the leather burning your skin the tighter he pulls. You whine, head rolling back to meet his gaze, fixed on yours.
“Since you don’t wanna listen.”
The drip in his voice, sweet like honey, smooth as whiskey, forces your legs open wider. Joel smirks, pushing himself down the mattress and out of your view.
Staring up at the gray ceiling, you’re left just to feel him. Feel him as his palms splay out on your knees, pushing them into the bed. Feel his stubble graze the inside of your thigh as he drags his tongue up, leaving a trail of wet behind.
Feel when he breathes a whisper across your aching cunt, something you can’t hear over the ruffling of sheets around your head as you toss around. And feel when his fingers part your lips, opening you up wide for him to really fucking see.
“Fuck, baby,” he says, and you find the strength to lift your head to watch. He’s leant over you, one arm hooked around your left thigh, holding it open, the other fucking…playing with you. Like you’re some fancy gadget. Like you’re brand new to him.
“So,” he runs two fingers from your clit through your folds, “fuckin’,” lines them up at your entrance, “pretty – for me.”
He pushes up into you, and your head hits the pillow with a stifled groan. You’re panting through your teeth, back arching the deeper he goes, stretching you out and rocking waves of sparkling heat through you. Waves that hit the other end of your stomach and come rippling back, throbbing around his thick fingers.
His arm bears down on your thigh, forcing your legs wide open for him. His hand cups your clit and you buck your hips, rutting against the base of his palm. Joel laughs softly.
“Patience, darlin’. Don’t want it to be over ‘fore it’s even started.”
Your head rocks back and forth, eyes tight shut. It’s all you can fucking do, tied tight to the bed. Joel pumps his fingers in and out of you, adding a third when you’re wet enough, thumb never leaving your clit.
You can feel your orgasm brewing in your stomach. Feel the tension between your hips. You’re chasing it, eyes shut, focusing only on Joel’s hand fucking in and out, in and out. You’re coming close, body pushing into the mattress, legs widening even more to let him slip a fourth finger inside you.
“Feel good?” he asks, almost with a laugh. There’s a smirk painted across his lips, you know it, even though you can’t find the energy to open your eyes.
You whimper in response, some small, muffled sound roughly shaped like yeah.
“Yeah,” Joel agrees, and his wrist flicks harder.
You moan every time his fingertips kiss the edge of your cunt, pushing against the soft walls. You moan when he drags them out, leaving you empty. Again, when he pushes them back in, rough and fast. And then when he lowers his lips to your ear and tells you how good you’re being, how pretty you look, how hard he’s gonna…
It’s like he changes his mind in an instant.
Withdraws his hand, slick-covered and still hooked. Pulls it away as quickly as he pulls your orgasm from your body. It drains from you; reduces back to an ache you can’t reach.
Joel slips his fingers between his lips as he readjusts himself, repositioning on the squealing mattress. Sucks them clean as casually as he would at a cookout or something, then takes your hips in both hands and straightens you up.
His jeans are tugged down barely past his ass. He’s not prepared to waste any time ripping his own clothes off like he did yours. Just leans forward, pulls his solid cock from his boxershorts, and spits into his hand.
You watch through eyes glazed with lust as he strokes himself a couple times, eyes always on your swollen cunt, groaning as his spit coats his shaft. Then he lowers himself to you and does the same, only running his length through your folds.
You whine, feeling that familiar thickness separate you so close to where you need him, and yet so fucking far.
“Joel…” you whisper, but he’s not listening.
Transfixed on the sight of his cock moving against your soaked cunt. Listening to the sweet, wet sounds the pair of you make. His tip catches on your entrance a couple times and you gasp. Just fucking do it already.
“Fuck,” Joel growls under his breath, and then…
It’s been months. Might even be years. But the feeling of him pushing inside you for the first time is still the same. Every. Fucking. Time. He’s bigger, thicker than anyone you’ve ever slept with before. And he knows it, because every single time, he glides into you without hesitation. No time for you to adjust. Just fills you up straight away, lets you deal with it later.
He’s cocky like that. Too careful when you’re on the road, and too careless when you’re between the sheets. Not that you’re fuckin’ complaining.
Your mouth falls open in a choked moan. Your lungs are gasping for air. Joel’s all you can feel.
Your elbows lift into the air, arms desperate to break free just to grab onto him, ground yourself, feel him close against you. Your wrists lock against the hardwood, leather digging into your skin as punishment for trying to break free. You’re stuck; nothing but the overwhelming feeling of him between your legs, filling you up and leaving you empty over and over again.
“Good girl,” he’s panting, still watching where his cock lines up with your cunt, and then disappears inside.
He leans down and his lips find home on your shoulder, sucking sweet marks into the skin like he always does. His tip bumps against your cervix, jolts of sensitivity pushing through you each time he bottoms out causing you to whine into his flannel.
“Fuck, Joel.”
“I know, I know. I got you. I’ll get you there again, baby.”
You had a routine. Follow his movements, follow his orders, stay alive. Deviate slightly from that routine, even for a minute, and you threw the whole agreement into jeopardy. One misstep on a crowded street dotted with cars once had a sniper open firing at you both for nearly two hours until Joel found him and put a bullet between his eyes. That time your curiosity got the better of you and Joel almost lost a hand stopping you from walking down an alleyway and straight into a wire trap.
Repeat it, Joel had said that night. Crouched by his apartment window, rain battering off the glass. Hands on the frame, ready to hoist it up and let you slip out any second. Repeat. It.
Do as you say, you whispered back. And only then did he pull the sash.
This is not the fucking routine. This is not the agreement. You fucked, of course you did. But that’s all it ever was. Hungry, touch-starved, desperate sex. Bored sex. We-almost-died-today sex. Not this.
Not: clear an entire motel just so nothing within a two-mile radius gets to hear you fuck me senseless. Strip me down, tie me up, push me to the edge with your hands, but don’t let me go without you. Curl your lips around my ear while you’re buried inside me and whisper praises. Whisper baby. Whisper…anything you like. Anything you wouldn’t say when the sun’s up.
This feels like it means something. To both of you. Feels like Joel’s looking for something in you, asking something of you. And you want to give it to him, whatever it is.
And maybe that’s the point.
He’s proving that he could make you do fucking anything. Let him tie you to a bedframe, push you close enough to the edge that you can feel the pressure of release beckoning you forward like the wind circling your ankles.
And you’re proving that you’ll do it. You’ll do what he says. Follow him to the edge, refuse to jump. Pull his body into yours, make it feel like home for a night.
He’s proving that he’ll take care of you, and you’re proving that you’ll let him.
Your wrists are burning. Leather digging marks, searing skin, then rubbing over it again and again to cut it deeper. It’s starting to hurt, if you’re honest with yourself. Your face probably gives it away.
Probably, possibly. Definitely.
Joel notices you quieten and lifts his head from the crook of your neck. Studies your face for a fraction of a second and knows.
“Hey,” he says, reaching up. He loosens the belt with one hand whilst still deep inside you, hips thrusting slowly just as a place marker.
When your hands slip free, Joel’s clasp gently around your wrist, fingers delicate over the sensitive, reddened skin. His eyes almost glisten at the sight.
“Baby…” he whispers.
“’s okay,” you reassure him, loosening his grasp on you and settling your shaky hands on his jaw. “I’m okay. Liked it.”
Joel lowers his forehead against yours and picks his pace up again, and you moan into the space between your lips. Your legs lift higher, knees bumping against his shoulders. His hips snap into yours, his jeans rutting against the inside of your thighs, the bed creaking with each messy thrust.
“Close, baby,” his voice vibrates against your lips.
“Yeah,” you whine, chest pushing against his. “Fuck. Right there. Fuck.”
Your arm drapes over his shoulder blades, nails dig into the rough cotton of his shirt. Your left hand is still at his jaw, fingers caressing his cheek. Joined together at your hips and your brows, gaze never really meeting for longer than a second, but still. You’re right there. Joel – he’s right there.
It’s new, it’s intimate. It’s almost…sweet.
“Gonna cum with me?” he asks, sincerely. He’s not trying to coax it out of you. He’s checking that you want to fall over the edge. Not for him, not because of him, but with him.
You nod and he returns it, sweat sticking his dark hair to his forehead.
With his eyes on you, flitting between your parted lips and your batting eyelashes, too scared to settle on either place for too long, he lifts your hips and fucks into you fast. Deep. Fucking – hard. Skin slapping against yours, breath hot and tangling with yours between your lips.
The pressure between your hips begins to build again, rapidly, Joel adding to it with every movement. Every push of his thick cock against your walls only draws them in tighter, closing around him, holding him closer to you with each moan escaping both your lips.
“Darlin’…” he murmurs in a broken voice, and you know. He’s starting to falter. Thrusts weakening.
“’m there too,” you reply, gasping for breath.
“Let me – feel you,” he says, “pretty girl.”
Maybe it’s the fact you don’t normally talk. Maybe the fact he never touches you the way he has tonight. Maybe it’s him wanting you to cum first, before he will.
Or maybe it’s pretty girl, that finally sends you over.
You look so good to him. You’re being so good for him. ‘n he can’t help it, has to let you know. Has to let every thought that passes through his head slip out past his tongue.
Pulling his chest flat against yours, you throw your head back to the pillow with a moan so filthy, so guttural that you’d be surprised if you don’t have company in five minutes.
Joel’s at your heels, face buried between your breasts, groaning into your chest as his cock twitches deep inside you and you feel him fill you up.
Your orgasm’s still knocking you senseless, every nerve in your body electrified. You’re holding Joel tight to your body, his ear flat to your chest, and you know he can hear your heartbeat. Know he’s listening to it throwing punches from behind your ribcage.
He’s still groaning through his breaths, heavy and thick with his release. Cock still deep inside you, still, softening. You lay like that for…well, you’ve no idea how long. But after a bit, Joel pulls himself up off of you and wanders into the bathroom.
You sit up on your elbows, taking deep, steady breaths, and let the stars in your vision dissipate. Joel emerges a couple minutes later and finally tugs his jeans down. He lifts both his shirt and the tee underneath off in one motion, tossing them onto the sideboard, then slips back under the covers, wordlessly hooking a hand around your upper arm and pulling you down onto his chest.
Your legs intertwine with his. There’s cum seeping out of you onto his thigh. Both of you, mixed up as one. His fingers sift through your hair, doing little to untangle it but trying all the same. His breathing in time with yours, his lips pressed safely to the crown of your head.
Before you know it, you’re sleeping.
Dawn breaks early. Too early. You’re still tangled up in Joel, feeling his chest rise and fall. Listening to his heartbeat – slow, calm. The drapes – not that there’s much left of them – are too thin to stop any light from flooding in. It’s only a matter of time before he wakes up.
The rough sheets sting against your wrists – red marks scoring them where Joel’s belt had been. You wince, running light fingers over the grazes, hissing at your fingertips as they go.
It hurts way less than it thrills you. This little reminder of what you did last night. What Joel did. The pain subsides the longer you touch the scars, knitted brows melting into a smile.
You slowly lift your head, propping yourself up on your elbow. Just watching him. The dust in the room frames him in a sea of white glitter, the slow-emerging sun lights across his face and dips where the scar on his nose sits.
His arms are still around your waist, cradling you. Holding you to him. You know he’s stirring when they tighten, and then fall loose. Façade back up. Walls slowly rebuilding.
You dress yourselves in silence. Run out of words to say. There ain’t nothing to say – nothing that wasn’t said last night. Joel sinks into the mattress beside you to tie his laces, and your arms brush against one another a couple times. It’s like fire on ice.
He’s first to leave the room. Just pulls his jeans over his boots and stands, unlocks the door and lets the light flood in. You check once over for anything left behind, and slip out. The air is cool, twilight still slowly washing away. You sling your jacket over Jet’s back and pull yourself up.
Joel’s t-shirt is loose over your shoulders. He gave you a fresh one from his bag. It smells like him, but you don’t let him see when you bury your nose into it to breathe him in. The hem bunches up over the top of your thighs once you’re sat on the horse.
His eyes scan down you once, surveying you in hisshirt. Then he swerves off back toward the road, silhouette cutting between the rays of sun streaming between the pine trees.
“Ghost,” he tosses over his shoulder.
“Huh?” You click to Jet to follow.
“Horse’s name. Ghost.”
“How come?” you ask when you’re side by side with him.
He shrugs, upper lip turning. “When it’s dark, you can’t hardly see her. She’s like a ghost.”
Joel’s hand surfs gently across Ghost’s mane, fingers scratching her shining coat. Your bodies rock in time with the sway of the horses’ walking. The echo of their hooves on the asphalt masks the silence for a few moments.
“Alright,” you eventually accept, turning away to watch the sun lift above the prickly treetops.
And to hide the smile tugging on your lips.
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grandline-fics · 4 months ago
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Hi lovely, hope you’re doing well. If you feel like it, would you write Smoker not realizing he’s got a crush on you until Tashigi has to point it out? It seems so Them ™ thank you 🫰
DESCRIPTION: He has no idea he has a crush on you
WARNINGS: mutual pining/ crushes
CHARACTERS: Smoker
WORDS: 1,225
A/N: I was only intending on making this a short and sweet drabble but it went a little longer than that. Not that I'm complaining. I hope you like what I came up with for this and thank you for requesting.
*REQUESTS ARE OPEN*
DIRECTORY | PROMPT LIST
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Smoker is normally straightforward and very aware of his surroundings and those that are in his immediate vicinity. He likes his space immensely and rarely allows anyone to encroach in that personal bubble. Outside of attacking pirates, or training very few tend to be given the privilege of staying next to Smoker for more than a few seconds. Tashigi would be the one to stay next to Smoker the most given she was his second in command although an interesting development caught her eye that Smoker somehow failed to notice for himself. You. Ever since you were transferred to the G5 base she noticed more and more how you and Smoker had gotten closer, to the point that now as she watched the two of you talk in the hallway her keen eyes took in how Smoker’s arm was all but a hair’s breadth away from fully touching yours. 
By her observation that was practically the equivalent of anyone else straddling their lover's lap by Smoker’s standards. Her gaze took you both in and she fought back the giddy smile, her boss had a crush and endearingly, he had no idea of his feelings. For a while she was happy to just take the revelation in and enjoy it for herself, unable to give up the chance of a lifetime to see Smoker like this. It was like winning the lottery to see the gruff, almost socially distant, stoic leader show his softer side. Now that she was aware of the change that overcame Smoker when you were near, she couldn’t help but see it take effect instantly. 
When you talked with him about mission reports, changes in shifts, or engaging in general conversation, Smoker would keep intense eye contact with you, taking in everything you had to say but his eyes would soften just enough to unconsciously seem less intimidating. Tashigi found that you’d never shied away from Smoker’s presence that others would normally feel nervous around. If you didn’t have time to stop and talk, you and Smoker still made sure to smile-albeit a small one on Smoker’s end- and offer a courtesy nod before continuing on your separate ways. Tashigi spotted out of the corner of her eye that as you passed by one day that Smoker’s head followed you for just a second. That day Tashigi decided to put Smoker’s feelings for you clearly into perspective. As she inspected the debrief of the upcoming mission that afternoon, she began the conversation by stating your name. As expected, Smoker’s head turned towards her curiously. “You going to say goodbye to them before we leave?”
“I’d be here all day if I said goodbye to everyone that wasn’t coming on the same mission as me, Tashigi.” Smoker stated with a confused frown, eyeing his second in command warily. “Did you get enough sleep last night?”
“Of course I did.”
“Then why the strange question?”
“Dunno just thought, you might want to say goodbye.” Tashigi shrugged with a playful smile. “We will be gone for at least a month. Won’t you miss them?”
“Tashigi…” Smoker abandoned the papers on his desk and turned in his seat to look at her, unwilling to indulge her antics. Especially if she was bringing you into the conversation. “Just say whatever it is you want to say so I can actually get on with my work.”
“Fine. You like them and before you say ‘they’re an asset to the base’ I mean you like them. Romantically.” Smoker blinked at Tashigi and she could see the gears turning in his head as her statement was being processed. The expression alone made her wish she had pointed it out to him sooner. Still, Smoker was a stubborn man and even with her nudging him towards the revelation, she needed to continue to really drive the point home before he could dismiss it. “I can see the way you look at them, and seek them out to talk to. They like you too y’know?”
Smoker couldn’t help but tense at that. An almost hopeful jolt ran through him involuntarily but even then he was reluctant to believe that you held a romantic interest in him the same way that he had for you. Now that Tashigi had pointed it out to him, he felt somewhat foolish that he hadn’t realised his own feelings on his own. He wasn’t a child and he wasn’t some lovesick teenager either but out of fear of sounding like one he refused to ask Tashigi how she knew you would reciprocate his feelings. Instead he gave a noncommittal grunt and quickly looked to the papers on his desk again. Tashigi grinned broadly and used all of her will to keep her voice even and calm when she was all but squealing on the inside. “The next time you go to talk to them, watch how their eyes light up. Perhaps if you went to say goodbye before our mission you’d see?”
The was a moment of silence as Smoker continued to stare at the papers but not reading them. Then with a curse he stood abruptly and headed towards the door. “Only because you won’t shut up about it.” 
“Whatever you say, sir.” Tashigi nodded, watching Smoker leave with the most satisfied smile on her face. As much as she would have loved to have follow close behind and see the next part for herself, she decided to give Smoker his space out of fear of pushing her luck with interfering into his personal life even though sometimes he sorely needed the obvious being pointed out for him.
Smoker strode down the corridors, seemingly doing his routine patrols before having to set off on the mission when really he was hoping to coincidentally run into you. He turned the corridor sharply just as you came from the opposite direction. Your body collided with his and instinctively Smoker’s hands firmly caught your shoulders, keeping you from falling. You let out a nervous laugh and looked up at him, an embarrassed warmth spreading over your face as you stared at your boss. “Sorry! I should really look where I’m going right?”
“No harm done on my end.” Smoker mused, taking Tashigi’s advice to observe your face as you spoke to him, to really watch your eyes. 
“Just as well.” You joked, smiling brightly as you met his gaze with only warmth as opposed to the use caution the others on the base would. “Last thing you need is an injury before going on a mission.” At that you seemed almost disappointed. Smoker tried to keep his expression neutral at the prospect that you’d miss him. “Jero said it was going to be a long one?”
“A month is the estimate.”
“A month…” Your smile lessened slightly before you mentally lectured yourself. This was how it went. Missions could range from a couple days to nearly a year, even longer. “I wish you a successful mission, Vice Admiral. I’ll see you when you get back.”
“Promise?” The word was out of his mouth before he really considered the implication the weight behind it would be. Smoker momentarily got lost in the way surprise lit your eyes and how your lips slowly spread into a smile far brighter than he’d yet to see grace your face before. 
“I promise.”
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syndrossi · 29 days ago
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Regnal AU, Chapter 2 (pt 2)
Part one here.
It's Daemon's name day, and the twins are two months old. (Dunno that the two parts really form a cohesive chapter, but word-count-wise, it works.)
x~x~x
One week passed, then another, and another. As the twins neared the second moon after their birth, they were nearly nine pounds apiece. Aemon no longer wailed when he picked him up, though his first coo had gone to Rhea—and Baelon’s to his father. It was a matter of great dispute who had garnered their first true smile. Rhea insisted it had been her, three nights ago, but Daemon had sung a lewd drinking song to them the night before and was confident that their smiles after had been for him alone.
Their new cradle was finished at last, this one with room aplenty for twins and dragon eggs alike, which was good, given how Aemon fussed when he was parted from them. Daemon carefully transferred the eggs to the hearth and then picked up an infant in either arm, holding them while the old cradle was lugged out of the room and the new one brought in.
Their nurse, Denna, lined it carefully with soft padding, then blankets, until finally it was ready. Daemon glanced down to find Baelon chewing on a strand of his dangling hair and couldn’t help his smile. “I fear I am not the breakfast you hoped for.”
He kissed their cheeks, then surrendered them to Denna for feeding, which she handled with practiced ease, one upon each breast. He set himself upon the task of rearranging the dragon eggs in their cradle, then went to the window, gazing out across the green of the fields beyond the castle. Summer continued apace—a long one, nearing three years—which favored his sons. The cruelest fevers came in the cold seasons, winter and spring especially.
And summer would be the best season for dragon rides, which he hoped the twins would be old enough for within the next few moons. Their dragon eggs had not hatched yet, though Daemon could feel warmth radiating from them even when they hadn’t been near the hearth. If not now, then perhaps soon.
Daemon settled in one of the chairs by the cradle and watched the twins nurse. Rhea had wanted to feed the twins herself, but the maester had advised that it was better for a wetnurse to take over such duties after the first week. They nursed so often that it was probably for the best, but watching Rhea nurse them that first week had stirred a warmth in him he had not expected.
Denna paid him little heed, well accustomed by now to Targaryen princes paying audience between Daemon and his father, and when the twins were done, she put them over each shoulder, and gently patted their backs for a few minutes, until a burp emerged from each.
“Is there aught I can help you with, my prince?” Denna asked.
He wanted nothing more than to take them out to meet Caraxes, but Maester Therbold had expressly forbidden them from venturing beyond the nursery until two full moons had passed and he had not garnered the courage to be the first to take them outside. “I wish to play with them for a time.”
The nurse smiled at him and arranged a blanketed space on the ground, where she set them down gently on their stomachs. Daemon joined them, mimicking their position, and Della brought several toys over, yet it was his hair, as ever, that proved the most interesting toy for Baelon. His tugs were impressively strong, and Daemon had to eventually extricate himself to offer a soft doll instead.
Aemon gummed at his finger instead, occasionally locking on as though to suckle, before accepting the substitute of his dragon doll. Infants were not capable of supporting the weight of their own heads until they were nearly half a year old, Daemon had been told, though they did lift their heads occasionally as he moved the horse doll between them, gazes following it.
It did not surprise him when his father crept into the nursery, though the tray of cheese and fruit he was carrying was unexpected.
“I thought I might join you,” he said.
He eased himself down onto the floor more gingerly, and Daemon sat up to grab a wedge of cheese to nibble on, leaning his back against the foot of the nurse’s bed. “What news from the king?” At his father’s raised eyebrow, he added, “I saw a few ravens arrive this morning after my ride.”
“Your grandmother is planning her journey here. I told her that she must wait until the twins have reached four moons, but that has not stopped her from making preparations at least. Your aunt will be joining her, and if she had her way, so would half of the royal court.”
Daemon pulled a face at the thought of having to entertain even a subset of the courtiers that had attached themselves to the queen’s court. “I am glad you convinced her to see reason.”
Baelon was trying to roll onto his back, a feat he had been working on for the past two days without success, though that had not deterred him. Aemon watched his brother with interest while he sucked on the tail of his dragon doll. 
“I remember when you were that small,” his father said. “You also favored your dragon doll.”
Daemon shrugged. “I was a discerning infant.”
“Your mother was convinced that you were a daughter,” his father continued, slinging an arm around his shoulder. “So much so that Viserys announced to any who would listen that he was going to marry you, just as I had married your mother.”
It was not the first time he had heard that story, though it had been his uncle telling it last time. “And when I was born, he swore instead that he would protect me, like Uncle Aemon did you.”
His father’s arm tightened, drawing him close for a kiss to the temple. Daemon’s token wriggle found him locked in, the embrace unyielding. “You are not too old for me to hold. That day will never come.”
Daemon bit back a sigh. He was a man of eighteen now. He did not want to be protected and coddled.
“Happy name day,” his father said, releasing him at last. “You did not think I would forget, surely?”
“Of course not,” Daemon said, though a part of him had wondered, given how taken he was with his grandbabes. His father had forgotten only once, in the hazy weeks after his uncle’s death.
“Your gift will be arriving with your grandmother. For today, I thought we might take a ride together, and then have a few bouts in the yard.” His father grinned at him. “I have picked up a trick or two since your last victory.”
“It shall avail you nothing,” Daemon assured him, managing a small smile in response.
It was an idyllic day that his father described, but it did nothing to calm the restlessness in his heart. He had thought that a visit to the nursery would help, which it sometimes did, but it was particularly strong today: a sense of urgency, but without purpose.
His father sighed, seeming to read his thoughts, then kissed his hair again. “Do not rush to glory, Daemon. It will find you readily enough.”
Daemon thought about Viserys, appointed as master of law on their grandfather’s small council to better study the administering of the realm. Then he thought of all the distant realms he had yet to visit across the Narrow Sea. “I do not see what glory there is to be found here in Runestone.”
“There is little glory in tourneys either, and that was all I had acquired by your age,” his father said. “When I was eighteen, I was trying and failing to make a proper swordsman of your uncle Vaegon.”
“But you and Aemon had flown throughout the realm by then. I have gone no further north than the Eyrie. Is this truly the only way I can serve our family? By siring heirs and flying Caraxes in circles around the Vale?”
“You assist Lady Rhea in her duties, do you not?”
He had, especially the first few weeks after her pregnancy, when she had been recovering from the long, difficult birth. But— “This is hers. Nothing here is truly mine. I am obeyed because I am her consort. The coin I spend is hers. The castle, the lands, the sheep fed to Caraxes—all of it hers. We are amicable now, but that is all.”
“Give it time.”
“You did not need time,” Daemon said sharply. “I want to matter to someone the way you did to Mother, to Uncle Aemon.”
Viserys had visited Runestone once in his first year, and only because Daemon had sounded so despondent that their father had sent him. It was as though he had not cared that Daemon had gone from his life. He knew that Viserys had struggles of his own, and a wife and child of his own now, but—do I not matter anymore?
“You matter to me,” his father said, hand coming to rest on his hair, gently tilting his gaze to his twin sons. “And you will matter to them.”
It is not the same. Daemon already knew what a father’s love felt like, now that he had sons of his own. He knew that it resided in the very soul, kindled as they grew in the womb and brought to roaring at birth.
“I feel like a blade left to tarnish in the damp of Runestone.” He turned back to his father, hurt rising in him. “You left me here.”
His father had known that he did not desire this match, yet he had not even tried to sway the king. He had stayed long enough to see the wedding done, and then taken off on Vhagar, back to King’s Landing.
He caught a flicker of guilt in his father’s eyes. “I am sorry, Daemon. Your grandfather insisted that you be wed, and Lady Rhea was the best of the choices offered. I cannot give you Dragonstone when I am king, but I hoped that Runestone could be a home for you, and a legacy for your children.”
“So long as nothing happens to Viserys,” Daemon said cynically. He knew what his grandfather’s motivation had been.
His father paled. “Do not say that.” He clutched Daemon so close he could feel the quiver of tension vibrating through him. “I cannot lose anyone else. Not you, not your brother.”
Daemon swallowed, regret overtaking his resentment. It was so easy in the aftermath of the twins’ birth to forget how dark the malaise that gripped his father’s spirit could be, how deep the hurt that lingered. “I did not mean it.”
“You do not know how difficult it is,” his father breathed into his hair. “How great the temptation to keep the two of you close at hand, beyond harm. Were I king—” He pulled back, hand catching Daemon’s cheek briefly before dropping. “I would clip your wings, even if you hated me, if I did not know that doing so would douse your fire.”
You already have, Daemon wanted to say, but that was not true. He had not yet found his place in Runestone, and still did not know what he wanted, let alone how to achieve it, but he knew that his father would not stop him once he did.
“You will have a place on my council that allows you to roam,” his father said, squeezing his hand. “But you must promise always to return.” He nodded toward the twins. “For them as much as me.”
“I do not want to leave them,” Daemon said weakly. “Not for very long.”
They grew so quickly; it was difficult to imagine missing the memories his father had of him. Their first laugh, their first food, their first word and step. He needed to be able to tell them those stories, when they were older.
“Good.”
Baelon had given up his rolling attempts at last and was suckling at the horse doll in solidarity with his brother. Both their gazes were on Daemon and his father, and he leaned over to pick up Baelon, passing him to his father, and then Aemon, who maintained his grip on his dragon doll, though his eyes shifted to focus on Daemon.
“I wanted to introduce them to Caraxes,” Daemon said, and Aemon cooed as though he had understood him. “Do you think it is safe?”
“For their health? Yes.” His father rocked Baelon in his arms, earning a smile. “From your wife? Likely not. Fortunately, it is your name day, and you can do as you wish.”
x~x~x
Caraxes was napping when they arrived at the enclosure, head stirring as they entered, then eyes opening to full alertness as his gaze fell upon the wrapped bundles Daemon held in either arm. Rhea hovered a few feet behind them, a condition of the twins meeting the dragon, and Daemon could nearly sense her nerves as he brought their sons closer.
“This is my son Baelon,” Daemon said, angling to bring his eldest close for Caraxes to smell.
His dragon’s nostrils flared as he inhaled deeply, as though committing smell to name, and Baelon returned the dragon’s stare, undeterred until the dragon let out a low rumble of approval, at which point he and his brother both wriggled in surprise.
Caraxes looked toward his father, as though questioning whether Daemon was aware that he had used his name for the tiny creature in his arms. “He is also called Jon,” he said begrudgingly.
Daemon rotated then to bring his other son close. “And this is my son Aemon.”
Caraxes blinked twice, seeming to sniff the infant extra hard, as though seeking a different scent than the one he found. Daemon felt a hint of sorrow trickle through their bond, and he placed his hand on his snout.
“They are not the same. He is new.”
Aemon cooed up at the dragon, and Daemon was startled to find that he had somehow worked a hand free of his blankets. He extended his tiny fist toward Caraxes, feeling the scales of his face, looking between the dragon and Daemon with huge eyes.
“You will have a dragon just like him some day,” Daemon told him in Valyrian, knowing his son preferred their mother tongue.
Caraxes opened his jaw wide, exposing his massive teeth and tongue, and let out a ground-shaking roar of approval. Just audible in the background was a scream, and Daemon turned to find Rhea clutching his father’s arm, looking horrified.
“No, no,” his father said, patting her shoulder, “that means he approves.”
Both babes shook slightly in his arms, wide-eyed and silent as they looked to him for reassurance, and he kissed their cheeks, commending them for their bravery.
“I am not allowed to take you riding yet,” he said. “But do not let your kekepa convince you that Vhagar is the superior mount. He lies.”
Rhea all but snatched their babies from him when he returned to them, stiff with tension as she hugged them to her.
His father gestured toward the space outside the enclosure where Vhagar was kept. “Now we must introduce them to—”
“No,” Rhea said, walking briskly enough back to the castle that they both had to trot after her. “It is Daemon’s name day, not yours.”
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is-the-sky-blue · 4 months ago
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DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS (PT 2): GOJO SATORU & GETO SUGURU
Synopsis: When you have questions about physical intimacy Satoru and Suguru are quick to answer them.
Warnings: 18+, NSFW, satosugu x fem!reader, pet names, praise, teasing, fingering, finger sucking, spanking, begging, oral (f + m receiving), cum eating, watching porn, masturbation, blowjob, handjob, titjob, face sitting, marking
Part 1 >Part 2< Part 3
You were just a couple of pals who made out once and a while and went out together all the time, some would say you were dating but the thought never really crossed your mind, mainly because you didn't dare think about it. Especially since the kisses you shared weren't given on the regular, even quick pecks hidden from the public's eyes, it was because these were your dirty little secrets.
Up until then every last one of your questions seemed quite plain, never really teetering over the edge to enter taboo territory, but that was until the high school first year, Satoru, forced the three of you to watch a rated R movie he rented under one of his butlers' names as your ever wealthy Satoru, born from the Gojo estate, abused his power once again, much to your disapproval.
The film was fine at first, sure the language was coarse as they dropped the f bomb more than the usual movies you were permitted to view so you thought the rating was just an overreaction made by some picky conservative parents or something, but quickly this film told you otherwise, the people who decided the age category to target this film towards yelling, "I told you so," right into your face as you watched the two actors begin to strip each other bare, lithe fingers unbuttoning the girl's blouse only for him to sexily rip off his tank top, revealing his rippling muscles to the camera as his hand snaked behind her back, unclasping her bra as her boobs spilled out, leaving the panting woman no time to catch her breath as his unrelenting lips broke from her mouth to suckle on her...tits? you were pretty sure that was the kind of language he used when he murmured into her hair, "your tits are so pretty," before leaning in.
The sight made your eyes narrow, watching as she let out a loud moan as his lips bite down onto her nipple as you found your hand coming up to slightly pat your own, now presenting chest. "Does it really feel that good," you ask skeptically, ignorantly unaware at the way two sets of teenage boy eyes made their way to you, adam apples bobbing in their throat and you didn't even think to question why there were pillows in their laps with a blanket over all your shoulders despite the weather growing warmer with each day. The awkwardness that first started creeping up your neck as the two characters made out, in a way that seemed far too intense, to lead to anything other than filthy, receding, that ashamed tinge that you think you are supposed to feel not really hitting you as you stared more confused than aroused by the sex scene that played out before you.
"I think so," Satoru scrunched his face, starting to feel like a nonbeliever as he shifted, no longer entranced by the erotic scene as he was before, despite this being his first introduction into the sinful world he always saw hinted at in all the shows he watched where male protagonists fell commonly fell into busty boobs and steam covered private parts as characters walked in on each other naked, fan service going crazy to try and keep eyes captivated on the screen, to find something to keep people around as the general plot was never any good. "Aren't you supposed to know, you're the girl," he huffed confused.
"Well I dunno," you mumble, "I don't think so," you tilt your head, you've scratched your breasts before when they were itchy and squeezed at your hanging boobs while in the shower, trying to wash away your sweat during the sticky summer months but nothing had ever made you moan, or even lightly gasp at even a fraction of the volume she did.
"She might just be faking it," Suguru nodded, "She is an actor," he says as though it's obvious as you watched as her, "nghs," and her, "ahs," started to seem more forced then natural, kinda sounding like when Satoru mocked your high pitched hiccups, that he claimed sounded like those rubber squeaky chickens, that Suguru brought you a cup of water to try and eradicate. 
"Guess so," you murmur, watching as her pink glossed lips parted into a pretty, 'oh,' shape, it was kind of a shame that it sounded so forced, the actor probably sounds really nice when she actually moaned.
"Now this scene feels annoying," Satoru huffed, side eying you, "way to ruin the mood," and you gaped at him.
"Hey!" you pout, "it's not my fault it looks so fake," you grumble, watching as Satoru leaned forward to skip past the scene, hitting different points along the progress bar and you watched as flickers of different moments flashed before you, brief images of her hand in his hair, him hovering over her, their pants coming off, and then the roll of his hips against where her private parts were, their bodies shaking but the camera not explicitly showing where they met, probably because they weren't actually having sex, until finally Satoru found where the sex ended and it was the morning after where they both lay nude in bed, coddled in each others arms and you had to admit that the scene of him cuddling their naked forms together as he pressed kisses into her neck with a good morning made you slightly aroused, the specks of praise you could hear him murmur as she caressed his chest making your thighs squeeze together just the tiniest bit.
The next time you mention sex is in your second year of high school, except it's not with Suguru or Satoru at all, but with your friend Ieiri Shoko. The two of you are sat in her bedroom, your backs leaning against the side of her bed as you found yourself seated on the floor again. Her laptop is open wide about a meter or so in front of you as the two of you huddled together, array of snacks in front of you as you commenced your annual girls' movie night.
She pulled the movie into full screen mode before hitting play, but instead of being greeted by the title scene of a classic chick flick you felt a desire to watch, the illegal website you pirated the film off of forced you into an ad, and not just any ad, it was a commercial for a porn site, you watched in surprised as a fully naked woman popped up in front of you, her tits shaking as her hips grinded down onto a pillow, rolling forward and the high pitched sound of her breathy moans spilled from Shoko's laptop speakers, the girl beside you not even bothering to lower the volume as her parents weren't home as the woman started pitching the website, "wanna see me cum! Then click the link and-" you zoned her out, more intrigued by the way her bare cunt slid against the fabric of her pillow.
"Why is she doing that," you mumble out, staring as her hips circle and you begin to see the white cushion start to turn damp.
"Humping her pillow or advertising for a porn site," Shoko hummed, not phased in the slightest at the scene that soon ended, returning you back to the film you were trying to watch.
"Humping," you ask, replaying the scene in your mind, "how does that feel good," you pondered, brows furrowed in confusion, your limited knowledge on all things sex related very much only focused on the actual intercourse and that's mostly because of all the sex-ed talks you had in school.
"It's because she's rubbing her clit on the pillow," the woman beside you answered nonchalantly, placing a blue gummy into your parted lips as you hummed in understanding, the word clit one of the few words stored in your little dictionary, eyes briefing over it a couple times when reading YA novels where the author decided to add in a spicy little smut scene. "It kept catching on the wrinkles," she continued, tearing open a bag, "but her moans were a little exaggerated." 
"How do you know?" you tilt your head, opening your mouth again, letting her place a fuzzy peach inside from her newly open snack.
"Well you aren't going to feel that good from a pillow," she explains, "I mean unless she was riding like the seam of it or something, but even then... " she trails off "regardless it isn't going to stimulate her well," she muses watching as the establishing shots and upbeat music slowly faded and zoned in on one of the characters voices.
Your next interaction with the topic is a couple months later. You sat around the low lying wooden table you set up in your bedroom, an array of coloured pens and mechanical pencils presented atop the surface as you scribbled graphite over the sheets of your notebook, textbook tucked in front of you as you sat cross legged on the floor, a cushion beneath your bum so you wouldn't feel the tingly pins and needles from sitting so long. Your friends Gojo and Geto are with you, sitting on the side of the table adjacent to where you remain perched, the consistent clicking of Satoru's pen had Suguru kicking him beneath your note packages before you found yourself puzzled by a particularly tricky math problem.
"Have you done number 8 b yet," you speak out, leaving the question for either one of them to answer but instead of a polite, yes or no, like you wished for, of course you had to be teased first.
"How are you still on number 8," Satoru snickers, earning him a pinch on his surprisingly toned arm, his lanky limbs beginning to grow just a touch beefier as he formed a newfound interest in the gym.
"I didn't ask you to make fun of me, I asked for help," you huffed, tapping the question in your textbook.
"I got x squared minus four x minus five," Suguru chimed from beside you and you groaned at your very much incorrect answer.
"Howww," you whined, staring at your different list of numbers as you reached for your eraser to try and rub away the shameful markings as Suguru slid his notebook into your eye line.
"Don't trust him," Satoru hums from your left and you offer him a skeptical glare. 
"What do you mean?"
"I got x squared plus four x minus five," he chimes and Suguru furrows his brows, "someone must've mixed up his subtraction and addition symbols," the snowy haired boy sing songed.
"Yeah you," Suguru bites back, staring at the terms he combined only to find no error.
"Yeah right," Satoru huffed, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned to inspect Suguru's notebook. "See you made that a negative, it's a positive" the boy tapped onto the page, "it's a positive minus a negative, there are brackets around the negative eight" and Suguru scrunched his face before tapping another part of the page
"It's a positive plus a negative and as far as I'm concerned four plus negative eight is negative four" he corrected.
"Nuh uh," Satoru huffed, "it's a positive minus a negative"
"No it's not," Suguru growled and suddenly you watched as the two began to bicker and you let out an exasperated sigh.
"Fine then I'll just put the question into a math checker and then we'll see that I'm right," Satoru snarkily harrumphed, grabbing his phone and unlocking it, needing to search up a generator as he didn't already have an app installed.
You waited as he clicked open his search engine, eager to figure out the answer more for your own greed then their competition but you were surprised.
Not surprised in the sense that the internet gave a different answer then both Satoru and Suguru, but because as Satoru clicked inside his browser app a sharp and airy moan left his phone speakers. Wait scratch that, you guess you were surprised because the internet gave you a different answer than you were expecting, an answer not really related to math at all.
You've never seen Satoru's hands move quicker, flying to click down the volume before shutting off his phone, the dark screen greeting you as it clattered to the table and a lingering silence filled the space before a cackle broke out from your right. "Was that porn!" Suguru laughed, looking at Satoru's flushed cheeks incredulously.
Porn... you never really thought about the fact that people actually watched it, but then again why wouldn't they.
"No!" Satoru tried to retort but the pink painting the apples of his face gave him away. "It was, I-just," and he began to stumble over his words, trying to come up with a logical excuse only to find no lie that made sense.
What else sounds like a high pitched breathy sigh of a moan?
"Just what," Suguru chuckled, finding humour in Satoru's embarrassment, "or is your ring tone someone having sex," the man said, a shit eating grin splaying across his lips.
"I-" and finally Satoru simply sighed, resting his flushing cheeks in his palms as he avoided eye contact with the two of you as Suguru merely cackled. 
"Can I see," you blurt out suddenly, prying eyes staring intently on the dark screen gracing the front of Satoru's shut off phone, the two boys beside you staring at you with widened eyes.
"Huh!" Satoru exclaimed, brows furrowing, staring at you as though you had grown a third head.
"I want to see," you reiterate, hands reaching forward for Satoru's phone, immensely curious, as your unsatiated brain grew in it's interest of the video that once played on his device.
"You heard her," Suguru merely chuckles, recovering from his initial shock as he scooched closer to your side, leaning over your shoulder to muse at the blushing boy, "show us," and carefully, with movements full of hesitation and flickering eyes that held the words,'are you sure?' Satoru clicked open his phone, he had never really been able to decline yours and Suguru's requests anyways.
"Perverts," the white haired boy merely mumbles under his breath, punching in his password without bothering to hide it, knowing full well the two of you already knew what numbers unlocked his phone.
"Says you," Suguru smirks, thighs pressed against yours as he sat at your side, Satoru coming to sit on your other side as you reach for his phone, holding the device in your hands as you watched an erotic image display in front of your elated gaze, anticipation filling you as the video began to play, two boys sandwiching you between them as they eyed the film in your hands.
As you watched the video play you began to understand why porn was a thriving industry.
You watched as her ass reverberated against toned thighs, her back to the camera as the man she rode lay on his own back, her hips jumping and falling with sensual claps as whiny and satisfied moans broke past her lips. Your eyes never left, barely blinking, scared to miss the scene, watching as she satisfied herself on her own accord, setting the pace as she rolled her body, the faint groans that you assumed came from her partner echoing out of Satoru's speakers as you clicked up the sound.
Despite the fact that you scrutinized the video so closely you failed to acknowledge the uncanny resemblance the woman had to your own figure, her same coloured hair eerily cut in a similar style to your own, her skin tone only a fraction of a shade darker than your own, her body shape so very similar, dipping and curving in ways your own hips do. If you actually bothered to notice you would've had to take a moment to question if the woman in the video was actually you, only to recall that you've never had sex, let alone filmed it and uploaded it to a website for others pleasure.
However what your ignorant eyes failed to notice Suguru's inquisitive ones caught almost immediately, a knowing dance sparkling behind his irises as he sent a coy grin towards Satoru who only blushed at the fact.
The hypnotic effect her jiggling ass had on you keeping you away from feeling the way Suguru leaned behind your head, the mesmerizing song she sung occupying your ears from hearing the deep whisper Suguru spread into Satoru's ears.
"Don't worry, I like watching her too." 
If you weren't so busy watching as the website auto-played yet another video by the actress you would've caught Satoru's face growing redder with parted lips as Suguru not only discovered his dirty little secret but also shared it.
You continued to stare at the new set of scenes that unfolded in front of you, watching as her face was still unseen as she presented her ass to the camera once more, her face burrowed in the sheets while she rested on her knees with her ass in the air.
Face down ass up, that's what it was called, right?
Her hands gently spread her ass cheeks, hips shaking as she displayed both her holes with such confidence it made you shudder before her fingers slithered towards her cunt, deft digits toying with her clit, rolling it and you couldn't help but think of the woman who had humped her pillow. So any type of friction against your clit was supposed to make you feel good, you concluded, watching as her hand traveled down the bud to run through her folds that glistened beneath her carefully set up lights, finger growing wet with her slick and then you gasped.
A sudden, shocked, slightly loud sound that had both boy's snapping their attention to you.
Had you finally noticed the woman in question looked like you, had you realized that you were watching porn and were suddenly disgusted. Satoru's brain was running rampant, did you think he was a weir- the question could barely finish being asked in his brain before you asked another.
"Doesn't that hurt," you murmur in disbelief, watching as one of her fingers pumped inside her dampening cunt, slipping inside before quickly adding another one, making you recoil as you felt your own pussy tingle as you squeezed your thighs.
"Hurt?" Suguru questioned, watching as the woman fucked herself with her hand "baby you know what happens during sex right," he furrows his brows, pushing you with a query to distract you from the name that spilled from his lips easily.
"I mean yeah," you murmur with warming cheeks, "but still..." the idea of putting your fingers inside your body like that made you shudder with fear, "it looks kinda scary."
"Wait," Satoru suddenly perks, eyes wide on you as he stared "does this mean you've never masturbated before," and it was your turn to flush, embarrassed, when had the attention shifted from teasing Satoru, to teasing you, as the white haired boy stared at you coyly. 
"I- well," you stammer, feeling yourself grow hot as their eyes trained on your warming form, "i-it's scary!" you huffed and you could hear Satoru laugh while Suguru let out a light chuckle. "What are you laughing at!" you yell, punching the porn watching boy who was supposed to be the one getting bullied. "Y-You just have to like, tug on it and it feels good b-but I," you stumble, "I have to put something inside a-and that alone doesn't feel good, you have to play with your clit and find like a g-spot or something," you begin to ramble, stating off lines you've heard Shoko say as she explained the concept of masturbating to you as you watched the chick flick together, curiosity taking you over after watching the woman roll her hips.
"Mhm," Suguru hums, "well I'm sorry that we just have to tug on it," he cackles at your choice of words as your face burns, "but I mean, if you ever need help overcoming your fear you can call us," he states so bluntly it had you squirming.
"What do you mean call you!" you scrunch your face, hitting his shoulder as well, as Satoru muses.
"He means call us and we'll teach you," the boy coos and you could only huff in aggravation as they clearly continued to tease you, relishing in the reactions you couldn't keep at bay.
For months the film haunted you, popping to the forefront of your brain sporadically throughout the day, whether it was at home, during class, or when you were sat studying with your friend's in your room again, your mind always seemed to wander back to the woman and the way she pushed her fingers inside her cunt.
After a while you went on the hunt to find her, opening websites on your phone and while you couldn't find the same one you went down a rabbit hole of watching many different attractive women masturbating for a camera. It was strange you thought, the idea of putting a finger inside yourself but as you lay awake at night, coddled up in your blankets you can't seem to let the image go.
Your room is quiet, your window locked, the blinds tightly closed as your door was sealed shut. Your duvet is warm against your body as you pull it up higher against your chest, tucking it beneath your chin as you squeeze your thighs together.
You should really be asleep but the thought keeps haunting you.
Did it really feel that good.
It felt strange, usually you pressed your thighs together until they were sore and you were tired to try and relieve the arousing itch, but this time you couldn't help yourself when you snaked an experimental finger beneath your pants and you gently begin to run your finger over your folds, brushing them against the fabric of your panties like you've seen done a multitude of times during your porn viewing experience.
Usually this was where she'd let out a breathy whine or moan but you found no sound ready to escape your lips. It felt funny but as your finger brushed a little higher on your cunt, where you knew your clit should be, it felt slightly different, a little tingly as you rubbed but other than that there was nothing.
You shouldn't be doing this but you couldn't help yourself.
Your hand carefully traveled into your underwear, the waistband resting on your wrist as you toyed with your folds, carefully pulling them apart, they were slightly damp but they didn't feel as sticky as you imagined when you saw the women's glistening holes, maybe you weren't wet enough
Carefully you snuck your hand from your cunt to your mouth, feeling yourself grow a little embarrassed with yourself as you suckled on your index finger, mimicking the way you saw one woman do, coating your finger in your saliva before experimentally trekking it back into your pants, spit brushing against your stomach before you rubbed it over your cunt, feeling it grow a tad bit more slippery as you brought a hand to your clit.
You brushed against it, fingers tracing up and down and moving it in circles, trying all varying techniques you've witnessed behind a screen as you tried to elicit a warm pleasure but all you felt was a small tingle every once and a while, the sparks began to grow but it never seemed to last, feeling nice before receding as your hand couldn't seem to keep a consistent enough pace against your dampening clit, sparks flying but no flame as your cunt grew wetter with every second only to find no satisfaction and only frustration.
Maybe if you inserted a finger it'd feel better?
So you attempted it, facing your fears as you quickly dipped your fingers between your folds, letting it delve only a quarter way inside when you began to feel uncomfortable, the feeling of your cunt, squishy and wet, making you feel less horny and more ready to stop.
You retrieved your hand, trying to rub over your clit instead but the more your tried the less pleasure you felt, you were growing warmer and instead of wanting to moan you wanted to cry in frustration.
Why wasn't it working.
Were the little tingles from your clit the orgasm you began to wonder, that was the only thing that felt remotely good but it couldn't be, right? In all the videos you consumed and all the movies you watched their orgasms were intense, their hips shook and they appeared to be feeling wonderful.
Why couldn't you achieve that feeling.
It was annoying, a small little nibbling burden calling out every so often in the back of your mind every day. It didn't weigh on you but it sure irritated you at times.
After that day you tried a couple more times, this time letting your finger reach as far as it could and you began to try and thrust it in and out but it didn't feel nice like you thought it would. You tried to rub your clit at the same time but your hands didn't cooperate as you couldn't both rub yourself and thrust so instead you decided to grope your chest and thrust instead but you didn't feel your lower belly warm like it was supposed to.
You began to grow more and more irritated.
Your nightly endeavours never resulted in the way you wanted, you even tried to put two fingers in for a couple of seconds only for your pussy to start burning and you quickly reverted back to one.
It was absolutely humiliating, you couldn't even please yourself.
Soon enough you were graduating high school and despite furthering your education you couldn't seem to further your own sexual experiences.
You were now in university, renting a three bedroom apartment with your two best friends, that much to Satoru's chagrin, wasn't the penthouse.
"I'll just pay for it."
"We all have to pay equal rent Toru."
You lay in your bed conflicted for yet another night, you were in university, the time of your life when people went to parties, found partners, had flings, had one night stands, had sex, and yet here you were still struggling to masturbate properly, at this point maybe you should just buy a vibrator, but where would you buy it, if you got it online where were you supposed to order it to, it's not like you could ship it to the apartment, not with the chance that Satoru and Suguru could spot it first.
Your internal dilemmas continued to rage on as your cunt was left wet and unsatisfied for yet another night and the creeping voice whispered in your ear again, they had told you if you asked they would help you please yourself, but then again they were also teasing you at the time.
Tossing a pillow over your face you huffed, what were you supposed to do.
You wanted to just ignore it but your wet cunt ,that leaked over your panties and began to seep into the fabric of your sleep shorts, had you writhing.
You've already made out with them before, this wouldn't be that much different, right? It's just like kissing but with a different set of lips...
Fucking hell, you were doomed.
Hesitation weighed on your achy bones as you pushed yourself to sit, your damp underwear making you squirm in discomfort as you quickly rose to stand. This wouldn't be weird right, asking your friends to fuck your dripping cunt wouldn't ruin your friendship, right?
The questions you asked flooded your brain as your feet padded towards your door, unhinged, unanswered queries swarming you. Any sane person would tell you that, yes, your friends would call you a lunatic and ask you to move out of your shared apartment, but a part of you still believed it would be fine, and it seemed as though it was that very small, insane fraction of your brain that guided your trembling hand to push open your bedroom door.
After all no sane person knew your friends as well as you did. Maybe, just maybe they'd be crazy enough to take you up on your offer, they had offered before. Even if it might've been a joke the slight possibility that it wasn't had your weeping pussy excited.
You shuffled out of your dim bedroom into the main area of your home, taking the couple of steps it took to get from your door to the living room, spotting the two boys leisurely resting on the couch, limbs thrown whichever way was most comfortable as Satoru's eyes were glued to the television, determined to binge old Digimon episodes while Suguru, who couldn't care less, stared at his phone, thumb gliding over the screen as he scrolled.
Your entrance didn't really seem to warrant too much of their attention as Satoru barely flickered his gaze to you before returning to his show, Suguru no different. You weren't quite sure whether this was supposed to be a good thing or bad thing, their attention spared anywhere but towards you, making your stomach do flips as you felt anxiety crawl up your throat, telling you that you were a psychopath for even thinking you could do this.
But despite your brain telling you no, your body told you yes, legs shuffling closer to the plush couch as the dripping mess between your thighs overran all reason. You felt it, that strong urge pushed you, as instead of taking a space on an empty part of the cushion you crawled over into Suguru's lap, straddling his legs as you pushed your weight into your knees, your brazenness not encompassing your fear that he would be able to feel your gushing cunt through your shorts.
Suguru merely hummed as you clambered over him, clicking his phone off before dropping it onto the couch as he brought his hands to your waist, planting his touch to the curve of your hips as he leaned his head back onto the couch, hair dancing in dark waves as he stared up at you, purple eyes glinting with welcome as a smile tickled his lips.
"What's up," he spoke softly, fingers squishing the fat of your curves, touching you tenderly, but you could only shake your head at his salutation, crumpling into his hold to force your flushed cheeks into the crook of his shoulder, maintaining your position of hovering over his thighs as you curled your back into him. "Is my girl feeling needy," he presumed, pressing a kiss to your scalp and you could feel yourself shudder, if only he knew how needy you actually were, the chaste kiss he lingered in your hair doing nothing but fueling your walls, the affection he shared, assuming it would satisfy you, only leaving you wanting more.
"Mhm," you whined into his skin, you weren't telling a lie and part of you hoped that your very, very, miniscule hint, would make him understand what you wanted, leaden tongue no longer bold enough to spew the words you were so ready to ask moments ago, or at least were even considering to ask moments ago.
"Do you want a kiss," he asked tenderly, pulling you from his neck, forcing you to stare into his pretty purple eyes, trying to give you the affection that you normally pushed into him like this for.
You could only nod, melting into his lips that caressed yours so lightly, attempting to satiate yourself on this alone, striving to force your cunt from fluttering as you desperately wanted to just have your full of his mouth and be done with it, make it so a little kiss could soothe your unsatisfied core but so far he only made it worse, gentle touches burning against your skin and you couldn't help but writhe in his hold as he did his best to comfort you, giving you what he thought you wanted, tongue gliding against your mouth as the ventured through already chartered waters.
"Is something wrong," he cooed as his lips left yours, hand coming to scratch your scalp as despite your best efforts he still seemed to catch onto your greed that you poorly hid. 
"No," you could only murmur, closing your eyes, trying to lean in for yet another peck, wanting to forget your lust, wanting to force him to drop the subject but his hand intercepted your mouth, pressing against your lips as he kept you from him, kept you from spewing deceit and moving on.
"Don't lie to me baby," he sighed watching as your brows furrowed, recognizing the frustration that painted your features and you could only huff at his perceptiveness, "it's obvious something is bothering you."
Yeah my cunt, you wanted to say but you bit your tongue, not wanting to escalate the situation so sporadically despite how much you began to yearn for more of him.
With a sigh you burrowed yourself back into his neck, trying to compose yourself as he pat your head, letting you take your time. At this point you knew you couldn't lie, that the more you tried to avoid it the more he'd pry and you had to acknowledge the fact that this was the reason you came here in the first place, that you were the one who put yourself into this position. You were already here you just had to complete your goal, even if that goal might end in humiliation with you shuffling back embarrassed, unsatisfied and soon to be evicted.
"Y-You know how you always say," you start, squeezing your eyes shut as you kept yourself against his body, "if I ever need help you'd always be there," and at this you could feel him tense, fingers stilling from where they slid against your body and you could feel worry claw at your throat as the couch dipped, Satoru shifting closer as he caught onto the conversation you shared with Suguru, his hand against your warming cheek as he brushed the hair from your face, trying to catch your gaze but you refused to meet it.
"Did something happen," Suguru questions, trying to force his hands to rub soothing circles once more, attempting, but failing from keeping the concern seep into his tone.
"What's wrong," Satoru added, his hand patting your back, warmth seeping into your skin as he squished against Suguru. You could feel him against your bare leg that still straddled the dark haired boy's lap.
"W-Well," you breath, trying to keep the tears that suddenly sprung to your eyes at bay, a fear stinging your limbs as you did your best to swallow the lump in your throat, "I mean," you gasp out, "never mind it's nothing," you try, shaking you head.
You couldn't do this.
Your limbs tried to grapple free from his grasp, pushing out of arms to run away, wanting nothing more than to just forget this ever happened, to wake up and realize this was all some horrific nightmare as you endeavoured to wriggle free only to feel his hands tighten, the pain blossoming in your skin from their grip telling you that this wasn't a dream as Satoru quickly latched you close, capturing you as you frantically looked about, trying to find an escape route. "Let me go," you mumble, wet eyes trying not to be seen as they held you close, suddenly frightened with your change in demeanor, uncertainty permeating their features.
"What's wrong," Suguru tried again, his hands not letting you squirm away as you stared at your room, wishing you were trapped in its confines. You'd much rather be sticky and wet all on your lonesome than admit it at this point.
"N-Nothing," you murmur, doing your best to keep yourself steady, finally feeling yourself give up, their hold on you much to tight to let you escape and you found yourself back in the crook of Suguru's neck.
Maybe you should just close your eyes and pass out, they couldn't question you if you were asleep, or maybe blame it on somehow being intoxicated.
You could hear Suguru sigh, feel it as his shoulder's decompressed, "you can't just walk in here ask that, and then try to run away," he states, hands rubbing your back and you couldn't help but purse your lips.
"Is something, someone, scaring you," Satoru carefully pried, "you can tell us anything," and you could feel the tears try and fall, droplets pricking your eyes as you grew more embarrassed, how were you supposed to tell them now.
Suguru could feel his shoulder grow damp and he could only purse his lips, scared, he sent a wary glance to Satoru, blue eyes also full of turmoil as they stared at your form that slowly began to tremble, slight sob spilling from your lips as you murmured, "it's s-silly," you shake your head, trying your best to hide from their eyes.
"It doesn't matter," Suguru cooed, "if something's bothering you let us fix it," he attempted to soothe, wholly unaware with the double meaning his words left, the feeling of you cunt beginning to clench around nothing making you cringe.
"You," you take a calming breath, "you can't judge me," you fist Suguru's shirt, trying to keep your voice from wavering.
"Just tell us," Satoru hums, hands trying to loosen your white knuckled fist, brushing his warm touch over it.
"You promise you can't get mad o-or or," you begin to stammer, "hate me," you whisper quietly, body tensing as your muscles pinched with anxiety, awaiting their response.
"Baby we could never hate you," Suguru rumbled, patting your head as he felt you shake in his hold.
"Y-You have to promise," you choke out once more, voice full of fear and Suguru could feel himself grow antsy, panic broiling.
"I promise," he attempts to soothe carefully once more, slight distress seeping in.
"I promise too," Satoru hums gently, fingers running over your knuckles as he pried your hand from Suguru's shirt, feeling you tightly grip his hand instead
"Y-You know," you begin to start, "that time you told m-me" and you could feel yourself warm impossibly hotter, "th-that if I ever needed help o-overcoming my f-fear," you stutter out,  t-that I can call you," you finish squeezing your eyes shut, hoping they'd remember their words instead of prod further at what your fear was, but much to your dismay it had seemed as though they had forgotten.
"Fear..?" Suguru trails off, furrowed brows turning to Satoru, silently asking if the other man knew what you were talking about only to receive a shake of the head, "baby what are you scared of" he tried, confused.
"I-" you freeze, not quite sure how to word it, "you don't remember," you say instead and you can hear the pause as the gears turned in their minds, wracking their brains for what you were referencing.
"No, I'm sorry," Satoru finally says, "but whatever it is our offer still stands," he continues, "we can help you, just remind us," he presses a kiss to your knuckles, "please," and you are biting your lip tightly, conflicted.
You've already dug your grave this deep, why not hammer the last nail into your coffin at this point.
"M-masturbating," you whisper so quietly that if they didn't have all their focus on you they would've missed it, but despite this Satoru still asks you again.
"What was that," he gapes, hand suddenly stilling from where it ran over your knuckles and you could feel your blood begin to run cold, shocked, unsure of if he had actually heard you right or was just freaked out by your confession.
"M-Masturbating" you say a little louder and the room fell quiet before a single 'pfft' echoed out, "y-you promised you wouldn't judge me," you huff, pulling from Suguru's neck as you stared teary eyed at Satoru, his chest convulsing as he laughed and soon enough you could feel Suguru's broad chest rumble as well as he chuckled.
"M'not laughing at you baby, you just had us so worried," Satoru wiped a tear from his eye "thought it was something serious."
"This is serious!" you exclaim, brows furrowed and you could feel even more tears fall, dripping down your chin, they didn't care, they weren't going to kick you out but tease you, make fun of you, they were going to belittle your feelin- and Satoru gently cupped your face, wiping away a stray droplet that ran down your cheek.
"I know, I just thought something really bad happened," he cooed instead, thumb running over the salty stains painting your face.
"We're just relieved it's something we can fix easily," Suguru sighed, tensed muscles relaxing as his fingers squeezed at your hips before his eyes forced your to look at him, gentle smile splayed across his lips, "my poor baby needs help learning how to masturbate," he cooed, hand toying with the stray ends of your hair and you nod, ashamed.
"You want us to teach you," Satoru whispered into the shell of your ear, pressing a kiss to your cheek before you shook your head, your fear quickly dissipating, leaving only lust in it's wake as you realized that nothing you thought would happened did, now only the things you wished would happen would occur.
You could feel the blood rush back up to your cheeks, painting your face and ears as you sighed, your wet cunt now throbbing for attention as their searing gaze poked at you "No" you murmured and you could feel your courage grow as you shifted yourself to only straddle one of Suguru's toned thighs before you pushed your weight off your knees and onto him, staring up at them through your darkened lashes and you couldn't help but think of that woman and her pillow as you rolled your hips, letting him feel you, letting him feel just how much you leaked through your shorts, as the damp fabric smeared against his leg, "just do it for me."
"Fuck baby," Suguru groaned unabashedly as you slowly tried to mimic all the videos you watched, rolling your body as for the first time you attempted to ride his thigh. "My girl is so wet," he sighed and you could feel hands find your hips and suddenly, that tingly feeling that you never seemed to keep, grew as Satoru angled you just right as Suguru tensed his thigh, taut muscles pleasing you perfectly as Satoru forced your clit to catch on every ridge and for once, a gasp, you've only ever heard other women spew through a screen, left your lips with ease, the sound you've been trying to bubble from yourself with your fingers, the sound at points you just tried to force out, the sound that never seemed to form naturally left your mouth as you sighed out in relief.
You had made a good decision.
"I can feel you through your pants pretty girl," Suguru praised, leg slightly bouncing causing that tiny little gasp to unwillingly fall past your lips again. It was so easy for them, so easy for them to make you feel so good as that fuzzy feeling that sparsely struck you as you rubbed your clit during the dead of night began to persist, but just like during your futile efforts, the mere touch wasn't enough, the short buzz of pleasure that shocked your clit wasn't enough.
"M-More," you mewl, leaning you chest into Suguru's as you pleaded, eyes wide as you begged, "need more, please," you whined and you could hear Satoru chuckle at your shameless display.
"Baby we're going to give you all you could ever want, gonna give you everything you deserve," he whispered into the shell of your ear, "you don't ever have to beg," he starts, "but that doesn't mean you shouldn't," a sharp pain blossomed against your ass and you yelped at the feeling.
He had spanked you, he had spanked you and it made you clench around air, bleary eyes turning to face him as he smirked so delectably, "my girl is so good for me, looking so pretty when she begs for things she's going to get no matter what," he hummed, "she's so polite," he cooed, halting your shifting hips to push you down forcefully onto Suguru's thigh, forcing your hips to grind tight little circles as his bruising hold controlled your movements and you couldn't keep back the little whine. 
"Aren't you a good girl, huh baby," Suguru murmured against your neck and you clenched your fists at the feeling of his lips mapping out new territory, the little peck he pressed beneath the junction of your jaw making you writhe as he explored your body, pressing chaste kisses as you threw your head back, relishing in the way he suckled at your skin.
"F-Fuck," you gasp, hesitant hands carefully tugging at the ends of his hair and the deep groan he let out only urged you further as you tangled your fingers into his luscious locks. You stared down at where he planted his face against your skin and you couldn't help the way your pussy gushed, "y-you look so pretty," you gasp, his tongue instantly soothing the skin he bit, running over it like a healing balm as he smirked up at you.
"Pretty," he hummed and you could feel the sensation travel up your neck, "I think you're prettier," he tuts before kissing again, leaving a little trail in his wake and you pinched your eyes shut at the compliment, the way your tummy flipped leaving you ashamed but left him prideful.
It felt odd to have hands loiter across your skin, lips roaming as you felt your cunt dampen. "What do you want us to do with you baby," Satoru murmured, forcing your hips to move in lewd directions and you couldn't help the way you threw your head back, leaning against his chest to stare at his all consuming blue eyes.
"W-Wanna feel good," you whimper, hands sliding to cup over where his rested on your hips.
"I know love," he chuckled as though it was obvious, "but how," he blew cold air against your ear, making you quiver against his chest, "want me to eat you out, have my tongue lick up all your juices while you leak for me, want to writhe against my mouth or,"he gasps enthusiastically, "do you want me to shove my long fingers into your pretty little pussy, do you wanna clench around me while I thrust into you huh," he breaths, filling your brain with dirty little fantasies, "want me to play with your cunt, want me to make you scream and cry on my fingers as I toy with your perfect folds," he cooed.
"Gonna fuck my fingers into you like you wanted to, gonna play with your clit like you tried to," he murmured, "gonna make up for all those frustrating nights baby," he hums and he humps you faster over Suguru's leg, "you want us to masturbate your little cunt for you, want us to put our fingers inside and make you feel good huh, want us to fuck your needy little pussy the way my pathetic girl's fingers couldn't," he continues and you can feel your walls clench, the idea of them ramming their fingers inside your cunt the way you spent countless nights trying to making your mouth water, "want us to put our fingers inside and find your g-spot, want us to fuck you and make you think it's our dicks," he says and you can feel yourself grow warm at the insinuation, "wanna pretend hmm," he coos and you shake your head.
"Wanna have you," you gasp and he tsks, gripping your chin to force you to look into his piercing blue eyes.
"You're gonna have to imagine it baby, gonna have to imagine until we train your pretty pussy enough, gotta stretch her out first before you can take us inside," he murmurs, "gonna fuck you over and over again until you are ready," and the thought of them taking you as much as they wanted had you seeing stars.
"Please," you whined, "Please, please, please," you started begging again, "want you, want you two so bad," you babbled.
"What do you want us to do," Satoru teased, stating it as though he hadn't already spewed all the filthy things he made you want into your ear.
"Want you t-to fuck m-me with your fingers," you gasp, "want you t-to make me feel good, wanna cum for you," and you barely even acknowledged the way Satoru stilled your hips, too caught up in your daydream to care as you continued, "wanna cum for you, please, want you to make me feel good."
"Awh," Suguru coos from beneath you, "isn't our baby so good at asking," he praises and you whimper, "let us take you to the bed okay," he murmurs and you don't even notice you are nodding.
"Yes please," you whine and quickly Suguru is standing up, hands resting beneath your ass as you folded your arms around his neck, cunt pressing against his torso as you clung to him, chest to chest. 
You could feel your heart thrum, anticipation growing as they guided you towards Satoru's room, gently laying you atop his plush mattress of the large bed he owned, perks of having the biggest room granted by paying the largest portion of rent, opting to pay 40% instead of the 30% you and Suguru covered individually.
Satoru couldn't keep the blood from rushing to his cock as he watched your breathtaking form splayed over his silk sheets. Your hair was dancing in whichever direction it pleased, your arms reaching out for them as you stared up at him and Suguru with such desire filled eyes it had him leaking pre-cum. Your body was painted beautifully, blue pajama shorts stained with a small dot slightly darker at the crotch, your top riding up your torso as your neck was decorated in tiny love bites left by Suguru.
Part of him couldn't believe that this was reality and not some hyper realistic fantasy as he watched you tug Suguru closer, arms still snaked around his neck as you pulled his lips to yours, bleary eyes shutting to focus on the feeling of your intermingling lips.
You stare at the two boys as they towered over you and you could feel an embarrassed flush grace your cheeks as you noticed the dark patch coating Suguru's thigh.
"Let's take these clothes off, yeah pretty girl," Suguru coos gently as he pulled a way, tugging at the hem of your pants and you could feel your breath catch in your throat as you gnawed on your lip, releasing it before you grinned slyly.
"Help me," you demanded, feeling the embarrassment that steeped through you finally wash away as you realized you had no need to be so nervous, after all you already have some dirty little secrets with them, what's a couple more, even if they were a lot more sexual, it's not like you'd let anyone else take your body in the way you permitted them. You lifted your hips off the bed, raising them dangerously close to his lowered head and the tantalizing smirk that crossed his lips made your heart beat just for him.
Swiftly you could feel cool air brush across your wet folds as he swiftly yanked down your shorts, pulling them past your ankles, that Satoru gingerly lifted one at a time, before tossing them somewhere out of view. You shuddered at the cold sticky feeling of your exposed panties, but despite your urge to pull your knees together to block their view, the hungry gaze in their eyes made you think otherwise.
"Wow," Satoru whistled, grabbing your leg as he pulled you closer to the edge of the bed and you yelped slightly at the force before he dropped to his knees, admiring the little gift between your thighs, "aren't you absolutely dripping," he mused, lithe fingers coming to tap the wet cotton, running through your prominent folds that your slick stuck tightly to the fabric.
"Our baby's so wet," Suguru commented, and you shuddered as Satoru ran his fingers over your folds, circling sweetly over your bud, finding it without even needing to see it, a very quiet and airy moan leaving your lips that had both boys sucking at their teeth, enamored. You quietly squirmed, hips shifting and Suguru couldn't keep his smile from growing, "are your panties uncomfortable," he cooed, lovestruck as he admired your little pout, his fingers toying with the waistband, running over the small little bow at the very front, "bet they are with how much you're leaking through them," and his hand slapped down, the wet clap as he smacked your pussy, a sharp sting that brought more pleasure than pain making your knees jerk, a slight whine leaving your lips, "can't believe you tried to run away and keep this from us," he murmured, massaging the entirety of your cunt with his palm, heel of it digging lightly into your clit before Satoru forced his hand away, eagerly pulling off the damp fabric and you were surprised when you heard them both groan and gasp in surprise.
"Filthy girl," Satoru mumbled, eyes shining with delight as he stared at the clear slick string that connected your dripping cunt to your underwear, the strand growing longer the further he rolled your panties down until finally it collapsed, falling onto the sheets beneath you.
You watched as mindlessly both boys dive for your arousal, Suguru leaning forward to lick up what dripped onto the sheets while Satoru lapped up what stained your underwear. Fuck, honestly part of you believed they'd merely finger you until you were satisfied but seeing their hooded eyes rake over your form with clear interest was much better, especially when they not only focused on you but each other.
Suguru leant down to the kneeling boy in front of him, tongue delving into Satoru's mouth, both boy's groaning at your lingering taste heavy on their tongues before they parted, panting before turning back to you with so much desire it had you squirming. "Look at our princess dripping onto the sheets," Suguru murmured, staring at your spread legs as he licked his lips.
"Makin such a mess," Satoru purred as Suguru sat on the mattress next to you, making Satoru do the same, crawling up to sit by your head as Suguru rested closer to your pelvis.
"Cryin so much down there," Suguru hums, mesmerized by your glistening folds, watching as your velvety walls throbbed, sobbing out for attention and he delivered, thumb running, parting your weeping lips, two fingers spreading you open and he stared inside your pretty, pillowy, cunt, watching as her slick caught light, shining as she soaked his fingers.
You couldn't hold back your helpless gasp as he gazed inside you, clearly enjoying the sight from the twinkle dancing behind his purple eyes. "Let me take this off too," Satoru requests, calling your attention back to him as he splayed his hand over your exposed stomach, your shirt riding up as his fingers barely grazed beneath the fabric, wanting more.
"B-but," you murmur, suddenly feeling a flush of shame overtake you and Satoru halts his greedy hands, reminding himself that he was here to pleasure your core not your chest despite his urges. He tried to collect himself and wanted to pull away, to run his hands lower but your tiny voice stopped him, "I-I'm not wearing a matching set," you mumble bashfully, saying it as though that was more embarrassing then having your naked bottom exposed to both of them, as though the very words were a sin itself, but the idea of you wearing mismatched undergarments sent a rush of blood to his already hardened dick, causing it to jump in place. The uncoordinated set meaning that you hadn't planned for this to happen, hadn't prepared or waited for the right day, hadn't approached them with pre-practiced lines, no, you had crawled to them with desperation, a need filling your tummy that you could no longer ignore as your helpless little fingers did little to please your body. The thought of you going to them as a last ditch effort after you failed yet again made him writhe, the filthy idea filling his brain as he reached for the small of your back, leaning you onto his knee before he pried the fabric from your chest with haste.
He watched as your boobs bounced out of the shirt before you landed on your back once more, jiggling in place. His mouth watered as he could see your tits spill from the cups of your bra, the garment clearly a size too small for your overflowing breasts but he could hear your voice in his ears, complaining about how bras were too damn expensive.
His fingers traced the rim, grazing your chest lightly as he hummed, does this mean your boobs are always suffocating, he wonders, isn't that uncomfortable, with a lick of his lips he released your tits, undoing the clasp of your bra to let them splay freely, tossing the clothing far off into his room as he stared at the light indents left on your shoulders from the straps, he'd have to take you to purchase new ones, he noted as you rested onto your back as he rolled one of your nipples between his fingers, the subtle moan you let out music to his ears as he watched you squirm, Suguru's gentle caresses to you core doing little to stimulate but a lot to tease, the dark haired man clearly reveling in you expressions.
"Satoru," it was gentle, a call of his names as he locked gazes with the man he observed, "open," he murmured, and soon enough his mouth was open and two thick fingers were placed onto his awaiting tongue, "get 'em nice and wet for our girl, yeah," he encouraged and Satoru found himself groaning, choking with the way Suguru fucked his hand into his mouth, forcing him to suckle onto his digits.
You watched in awe, the thin slips of saliva spilling from the corner of his mouth beginning to fall as Suguru placed a knee between your spread legs to lean close to Satoru, watching the way the boy sucked so obediently.
You couldn't help but wonder how he'd look bobbing on Suguru's dick, would he hollow out his cheeks, would tears sting his eyes, the images of videos you watched flashing in your brain as you replaced their faces with ones of his, the thought of Satoru in such a state sending a pang straight to your cunt.
Fuck.
Sure you had thought of them like that before, who wouldn't, your two best friends were undoubtedly hot but you never really focused on the idea that it could be real, that there would be a timeline where they'd not only caress each other but you too, but reality was smacking you in the face right now as you watched one of your best friends lewdly throat fuck the other with his fingers/
The delightful, 'pop,' as Satoru released the digits in his mouth had you gasping as you felt those very same digits caress you, smearing warm saliva over your dripping pussy, rolling around your clit, spreading your lips. "You ready," he cooed gingerly, fingers rubbing your folds, carefully preparing themselves and you swallowed, a strange fear taking over at the thought, but you nodded.
It was hesitant, barely dipping in and you felt one of Suguru's thick fingers slip inside, spreading you open, wider than one of your own fingers did, it had you panting for air. "Shh my love," Satoru was ready to comfort, hand cupping your face as the other gingerly groped your tits, trying to distract the slow burning that wiggled in your cunt as he carefully delved inside, barely even getting to the joint of his finger before you're hiccupping. 
"H-Hurts," you are gasping, "it hurts," and Satoru is pressing kisses to your skin, tracing his tongue on your neck as he pinched at your nipples, "Suguru," you sobbed and Satoru did his best to keep your focus on him as you cried.
"I know love," the dark haired man hummed, "just let me stay here like this for a moment, promise it'll feel good," and he pressed a chaste kiss to your lower belly, his tiny little groan as you clenched around his finger causing you to squeeze your eyes shut, trying to pinpoint your attention on Satoru's suckling lips, his tongue circling your nipple before he took the whole thing in his mouth, spreading his hot spit.
Suddenly you could feel his finger slip in further and further until he was knuckle deep, his keen eyes watching every one of your expressions as you writhed, trying to accommodate him, "atta girl, spreading so nicely for me," he whispers into your whimpering lips, pressing a gentle kiss as your tears returned, "just keep breathing for me kay," and he starts thrusting, slow languid push and pull as you sobbed, clutching tightly onto Satoru, it felt a lot different from when you did it, a lot more vulnerable as he drank in your naked form, gently caressing your insides with tender touches, quiet praises spilling into your ears as he asked you to trust him, feeling as soon enough the burning subsided and all that was left was the feeling of him plunging into your slippery cunt as his other hand toyed with your clit, making you even wetter.
"So good," Satoru murmured with a mouthful of boob, suckling as he painted the dips between your chest with purple splotches and bite marks, "doing so good for Suguru," he flattered, listening to your hitching breaths as your chest rose and fell beneath his mouth until suddenly you let out a sharp moan, an erotic ah, that even seemed to take you by surprised falling past your kiss bitten lips and Suguru is quick to soothe.
"There it is," he coos, fingers finding a sloth like pace to help you adjust, ramming against his newfound discovery, your g-spot.
"S-Sugu," you whine, hips rising as you tried to pry yourself from his hold, "i-it feels," you gasp and you felt as though you were seeing stars as he shoved inside of you, pressing against a particular spot that had you moaning, whimpering little songs that you never made spill from your own mouth before.
"I know baby, feels good right," and your eyes are dewy as he slips inside easily, your cunt flooding.
"m-mhm," you mumble, "b-but," you fist the fabric of Satoru's top that you wished he'd just take off already, "s'too much, too much," and Suguru hums in understanding but not letting up.
"Just bear with it pretty girl, gonna feel good, gonna feel so good," and you could feel that tingling sensation expand , your lower belly beginning to grow fuzzy as your brain muddled.
Satoru could watch this all day, your moans that began to increase in volume every passing second, rumbling against his face as he lay smushed between your breasts, Suguru hushing out praises, his dark hair falling from its bun as he set a tame pace, careful not to put you into too much pain as he pushed you towards your undeniable climax, "gonna add one more," and the face you make had the boy reaching a greedy hand to his pants, stroking his hardened dick to try and appease the tent growing in his boxers before focusing every ounce of concentration he had onto you.
Your lips fall into a perfect little 'o' as you stretched unbelievably wider, if you thought having two digits inside your cunt hurt when you attempted it inside your bed, it burned when Suguru pushed another in, filling you to your limit as you sobbed, tears cascading down your cheeks as the continuous appreciative comments did little to calm you, your hips rolling as his dexterous hands played with your sloppy pussy better than you ever had.
"Sug-ngh," you mewl, "c-can't y-you're gonna break me-oh fuck," and your back is arching, finally understanding why all those women had shifted so much as they got pushed to the brink, your fingers tight in Satoru's hair before he gingerly takes one in his hand, carefully interlocking your fingers as he squeezed, attempting to pacify you just a little.
"You can take it," the man murmured pushing both digits deep inside you could feel him in your guts, "your pussy is beggin for more," he kissed your clit, tongue lapping at the bud and you were screaming, your vision grew cloudy as that burning turned to red hot satisfaction, your thighs beginning to tremble as he rammed into you, his pace picking up from snail slow to a little more medium but that speed was still foreign to you, your hands never even daring to go the same rate he did but you could see now this is why your could never pleasure yourself.
An electric pulse thrummed beneath your sweating skin and you felt as though you were no longer tethered to your body, erotic ah, ah, ah's,  leaving your lips as you could hear the dirty, squelch, of your cunt as your limbs slowly melted into shivering messes, "there you go" Satoru is comforting, tweaking your hickey marred tits with practiced precision, it had your tongue lolling out.
You could feel yourself gushing, writhing and clenching all at once as Suguru fucked into you, tender hands exploring your body as he also did a little rearranging in your warm contracting tummy. You could feel lights flicker on, arousal flipping the switch and you tried to shut your legs to force him to slow but much to your dismay you provided no hindrance in his pace, not even a hiccup in his thrusts as he leaned over you, your thighs shaking as the lewd, "pap pap pap," of his plunging hand meeting jiggling skin echoed out into the stifling room.
"C-Cum-" you start to gasp, "m-m gonna," you stammer, "c-cumming," you hiccup trembling hips bucking as you felt that knot constrict in your belly, your nerves jittering in delight as the overwhelming pleasure consumed you in raw ecstasy.
"Let go for us baby," Suguru encouraged, eyes stuck on yours as he watched the little lewd faces you made, Satoru thoroughly enjoying the show as well, your shaking tits bouncing with every thrust.
And suddenly you felt a snap and all of a sudden you were spilling, blood rushing through your ears as he delivered the final push that had you tumbling down the edge, into their awaiting arms, your quivering limbs spasming as you moaned shamelessly, "ngh, I- oh", heat bursted to every last corner of your sweat soaked body as shockwaves rippled out from your gushing cunt.
Hot mouths seared any skin they could reach, fingers slowing as he helped your rolling hips ride out your orgasm, crashing waves filtering your pleasure as they cooed, "that's it love, there you go," Suguru praised, thumb swiping against your absolutely sobbing clit as it spilled out every drop you had.
"doing so good," Satoru murmured, cupping your face as your clouded vision lost focus, mind wandering into pure bliss as you fell into your pleasure, swimming in the growing ecstasy as you mewled, hips stuttering as your high began to lower but their actions never ceased, showering you with comforting kisses and tender words, every last bit of love they gave you spilling from your cunt as she dribbled over the sheets, your stuttering hips rolling for the final time against Suguru's warm palm as you came back to the ground, your out of body experience finally reeling you back in as sweaty and warm you let out your final sultry high pitched moan, breathing coming in gasps as your arching back finally flattened and all the was left was their soothing hands.
"Did so well pretty thing," Suguru murmured as he carefully pulled out his fingers one at a time, watching as you writhed and whined at the feeling of slowly being unstuffed, and as he left your empty tears welled, "did you feel good," he hummed against your tear stained cheeks as Satoru pulled you into his arms, wrapping you in a comforting embrace as you sniffled before staring at his slick soaked arm, your essence spilling from his fingers down to his elbow and he grinned, suckling at his digits with a groan, "my baby tastes so good," he whispers into your hair as Satoru positioned you further up the bed, resting your lust filled brain against his pillows, before carefully coddling your in his arms, spooning you as his arms wrapped around your waist, holding you post-orgasmic form in his hold.
Soon enough a hand is tapping his cheek and the boy is turning his head, tongue lolling out as Suguru wipes your nectar off into the boy's awaiting mouth, saliva taking it's place as he cleans his forearm, the little content hums spilling from Satoru's lips, vibrating against your head as he lapped up the rest of your lingering juices. 
You don't remember much after that, fuzzy brain barely picking up on bleary images as you could faintly recall laying on a plush mattress, listening to faint whimpers and groans along with choked out whines as you watch heads bob upon hardened cocks as fingers stroked stiff lengths. You could remember tasting something salty as lips met yours before you were being placed in warm waters with lavender smelling soaps. You remember whining as they try to pull you into a bra and feeling cold water slipping down your throat before your tired eyes shut, wrapped in comforting arms.
You woke up sore, eyes sore, hands sore, neck sore, tits sore, thighs sore and you cunt was definitely sore, everything ached in a strangely delightful way as the heavy duvet draped over your frame paired with even heavier arms.
You could hear the sounds of their conversation, chests rumbling with words and as you burrowed closer to one body the sounds stilled, "are you awake baby," it was Suguru, his hand coming up to brush the hair that stuck to your cheek and you only mumbled incoherently, absorbing all the warmth they offered you as Satoru chuckled from behind you.
"Did you feel good," he teased, hands pinching at your hips.
"mhm," you hummed before peeking open your eyes, room dim as the closed curtains blocked out any light and suddenly you realize instead of Satoru's room you are in Suguru's, "it hurts," you murmured into the fabric covering Suguru's broad chest and his hand is reaching down to cup your ass, patting it and you quickly find out that you are dressed in only panties and a large t-shirt that definitely did not belong to you.
"A lot," Satoru questions into the shell of your ear, hands snaking up to grope at your boobs and you soon also figure out that you weren't wearing a bra beneath the baggy top.
"No," you mumble, "just achy," you sigh.
"So how was your first orgasm, hmm," the white haired boy continued, lips peppering a light kiss to your neck and you hissed at the feeling of him pressing down on what you assumed to be a bruise or hickey of some kind. 
"Nice," you yawn, "you should do that for me all the time," you grin jokingly before he bites down a little harder on your neck and their hands squeeze you a little tighter.
"Sure," Suguru is humming, "as long as you don't go to anyone else," and it sends a strange fluttering in your belly at the thought that they'd be willing to help you out.
"Well I told ya I'd fuck you like this until you could take my dick," and at Satoru's words you could feel your face warming.
"Until then I'll just use my hand for you then I guess," you sigh, feeling the boy jolt behind you before he laughed.
"Oh really I look forward to it then." 
It's only a couple weeks after when Satoru finally got to experience the moments he waited for.
"If I lick it will it feel good," you ask, staring up at the blue eyed boy between your lashes, hand running up and down his shaft as a gentle palm assisted you in your first ever handjob.
"There you go baby, just like that," and Suguru's sultry voice is against your ear, his body pinning you between the couch where spread legs lie, hard dick standing tall in front of you as he guided your hand up and down the stiffened cock.
"Fuck," Satoru hissed as Suguru squeezed your joined fists tight, your hand was covered by Suguru as he showed you how to make the white haired boy feel good before gasping out, "yes pretty girl," his chiseled chest heaving, "if you lick- ngh it I'll feel goo- oh fuck," and your tongue is already out, kitten licking the droplets of pre-cum that beaded at the tip.
"Good girl," the dark haired man praised, "making our Satoru feel so nice," and you continued with your mouth, tasting the salty liquid as you hand slid up and down his length before Suguru is letting go, leaving you to take care of the boy on your own. "If you suck on his tip he'll moan really pretty for you," the boy added before your intrusive eyes are on him.
"How would you know," you question and you are quick to realize, "you've done this before haven't you," you gasp and he grins. 
"I really thought you've heard us before," and he's smacking your ass making you yelp, so that's what all those groans were, you finally concluded as you leaned forward on Satoru's dick, suckling on his head and just like you were told a high pitched breathy moan broke past his lips as he threw his head back.
You knew they had done it once before because you remember a blurry memory of watching them after they finger fucked you for the first time, but you never really connected the dots that they might've done it before then too.
"You really are oblivious sometimes huh," Suguru's humming, his fingers toying with the waistband of your pants as you slobbered all over Satoru's shaft.
"Nuh uh," you mumbled before licking a long stripe up his throbbing cock, following a ridge of one of the veins that painted his oh so pretty dick, causing the boy to mewl.
"Such a liar," Suguru sighed, yanking down your pants much to your surprise, taking your panties with them in one swoop, as he used one of his arms to lift you up off the wooden planked floors as he forced the fabric away from your skin.
"Suguru," you gasp, swatting at his hands that gripped your waist.
"Relax princess," he merely cooed, "you focus on our pretty little boy yeah, don't mind me," you could only really heed his words as you couldn't pry off his greedy grip, not that you really wanted to anyways as you opened your mouth, slipping yourself down Satoru's spit soaked cock.
"Ah- fucking hell pretty," he bucked his hips, making you choke lightly as you press both your hands onto his thighs, trying to keep him still as you did your best to please him like you had once blearily watched Suguru do.
Speaking of Suguru you couldn't really feel much after he practically stole off your lower garments, just some shuffling and light touches but quickly that changed as between your thighs you felt something warm and slippery prod at your hole, making you force yourself off Satoru with a gasp.
Your gaze shifts downward only to find tantalizing purple eyes staring up at you between your thighs, "I told you to focus on Satoru," he chastised smacking the flesh of your ass once more, jiggling the cheek between his hands before he slithered his tongue out to lick at your folds once more, "I'll take care of your little mess, yeah," he winks before calling up to the boy you continued to stroke, "Toru, you should really see how wet you're making her," he exclaims and you could feel your face flush when his hands grab at your thighs, forcing your weight onto his face, "don't try and fight me," he murmurs the moment he feels you try and squirm back to your knees and you find yourself listening, quietly taking a seat on his face as you leaned forward, trying to ignore the sensation between your legs as you angled the springing cock in front of you downwards, opening your mouth wide as you did your best to loosen your throat, attempting to accommodate his frustratingly long member.
You could feel his fingers tangle in your hair as you slowly bobbed your head, feeling a tongue prod at your entrance and you couldn't help the way you rolled your hips, relishing in the groan that rumbled against your clit.
You watched as love drunk eyes stared at you mesmerized, open mouth letting out whines as you slid as far as you could go, taking him in and out as you rubbed whatever you couldn't reach, a silent promise in your gaze that'd you learned to swallow all of him but despite your inability he still seemed quite satisfied with the way moans left his pretty pink lips, but part of you was feeling bad, upset with not being able to take him in all his entirety and gently you slipped off, letting a glob of spittle run down his length as you fisted tightly.
"Let go of my hair Toru," you murmur and he whined out, "please just wanna make you feel better," you coo, moving your hand tightly as you tried your best to keep from moaning, your weeping core pooling in Suguru's mouth as he lapped you up in earnest, gliding between your folds as he sucked upon your clit, making sparks fluster up your thighs.
It felt weird to be eaten out, the feeling of his tongue unusual but not unwelcome, after all today was one full of unexplored territory as you gave Satoru your very first hand and blow job, but you wanted to give him more, not satisfied with the way your mouth could barely take him half way. "C'mon Toru," you plead, feeling your legs squeeze as Suguru's teeth lightly nicked against your clit, the stinging pain pleasurable.
Soon enough you felt reluctant hands untangle from your hair and you smile up at the boy, the very sight of him making you wet as his dewy eyes glowed for you, eying you with hunger as his pink lips grew swollen as he bit down, his sweaty face and disheveled hair still somehow beautiful, "my little angel," you whisper in praise, "gonna make you feel nice," you promise yet again, carefully taking your hand off his dick despite his loud protests, tears welling in his eyes.
"Don't go," he whimpered, trying to cup your face and you press a gentle kiss to his palm before leaning back.
"M'not going anywhere," you murmured, tapping his knee, "just wait a moment for me yeah pretty boy," you sigh out, doing your best not to succumb to your own pleasure as Suguru squirmed his tongue inside of you. You could feel their gazes burning against your skin, one pleading while the other drank up all your reactions and you forced yourself to ignore it, reaching for the hem of your shirt before swiftly yanking it off, revealing the pretty little bra Satoru had bought you, one of many that actually fit you perfectly.
"Come a little closer baby," you call for Satoru, his legs instantly moving as he sat at the very edge of the couch, and you smiled in appreciation, "good boy," you whisper, the words feeling dirty off your tongue but you say them anyways, enjoying the way his breath hitched at your words, "sit still for- ngh," you moan, head leaning against his thigh as fingers slowly pistoned in and out of your dripping cunt, lips wrapping around your clit, "still for me," you continue, lifting your head with a gasp, your hips wiggling to try and disrupt his steadily growing pace to no avail.
Satoru could only nod for you, his cock throbbing as his head leaked, begging for attention and you were eager to provide it as you lifted your tits, leaving them captured in your bra as you slipped him through your cleavage, pushing him all the way through, watching as he poked out through the top and you brought your hands up to the sides of your breasts, rubbing them over his length.
"Fuck baby, oh my god," he cried, bare chest heaving as he stared down at you, pretty boobs enveloping his dick and he bucked in your hold as he watched the blob of spit drip from your mouth and slide right into the crease of your chest before you start licking his tip, suckling as you began to bob your head, his hands instantly finding their way back into your hair, his thighs spasming with every particularly good swirl of your tongue.
The lewd shlick, shlick, shlick, of your mouth sliding in synch with the dripping squelching of your cunt as he delved into your arousal, drinking it up as though you were spewing wine, sinful
"S-So good for me, so fucking good for me," Satoru praised between gasps, "tits squeezing me so tight, feel so good, your mouth is so warm making me feel so good," he whimpered in repeat, "look so hot like this," he groaned and you could feel the hands threaded between your locks begin to push on your scalp, forcing you down and you didn't put up a fight, complying to his whims as the teary eyed boy whimpered out compliments.
Both his hands tangle between your hair, holding you by the sides of your head before he's forcing you down onto his dick, causing you to choke as he pushed you down deeper than before but he only mumbled a slurred out half-assed apology before doing it again, a sting of tears pricking at the corner of your eyes as you began to gag on his absurdly long dick as he planted his feet to the floor, thighs hitting the underside of your breast as he fucked into your throat, fuckin it as if it was your wet cunt, saliva mixing with his pre as it dripped onto your chest. The slight discomfort you felt was nothing compared to the heavenly sight of watching him chase his high, lips begging and pleading as he shook his hips, forcing wet sounds from your mouth.
"Ah fuck baby, so good for me you mouth and pretty tits- oh hell, ngh, feel so good," he praised his pace cruel as he continued. The sounds were sinful as not only did you loudly choke but the ungodly slurps emanating up from your cunt had you dripping even more, feeling that now familiar sensation of a tightening knot grow and soon enough you were bucking your own hips over Suguru's mouth, hips matching the same pace Satoru set for your mouth as you rode his face, taking no shame in your actions as you felt your tits tremble.
"Mm- oh- ngh baby m'gonna," he whimpered, "gonna cum, gonna cum," he warned, eyes wide and his hips stuttered, his balls clenching as you massaged every last drop from them, feeling hot spurts trickle down your throat, his body bucking and you only hummed, drinking his cum until it no longer spilled.
You come off with a pop, his heaving chest a sight to see and you plant your hands on his knees, sliding your breasts off and he grinned down at you, bleary eyes staring at you in pure bliss as he watched you now bask in your pleasure, fingers interlacing with his as you felt your own knot snap, lower belly warming as you began to gush into Suguru's groaning mouth, his lips suckling tightly as he drank you up.
From there on out your dirty little secret grew even more filthy as now at least once a week, one of the two boys had their fingers knuckle deep in your cunt while the other toyed with some other part of your body. It didn't matter the position, sometimes you were standing in the genkan, legs spread as you leaned against the wall for support, moans muffled by lips and fingers pounded into your sloppy pussy mere seconds after you walked through the door. Oral was also up on the table, dicks slipping into your mouth as you learned to suck one and stroke the other, sometimes even licking both their heads at the same time as they touched tips. At times you all pleasured each other, no one left out as fingers rammed deep into your guts as you slobbered over one cock while one of the men slobbered over the remaining
They began to grow more risky too, finding pleasure in the way you did your best to muffle your gasp as instead of sneaking kisses in the bathroom of his estate you were hiding your dripping cunt stuffed full of their fingers. You had on more than one occasion been pulled into a bathroom at a house party and found yourself on your knees in front of a hardened dick and you have had on more than one occasion have had a dick in your mouth under a cloth covered table at a restaurant surrounded by your friends while you humped their leg.
It was strange, the way the three of you found yourselves in a more sexually explicit relationship but you didn't really categorize it as friends with benefits because it wasn't just smutty intimacy but also romantic, as they spent hours after the fact cleaning you up, making sure you were fed, falling asleep with you bundled in their arms, even if you didn't please each other sexually that night.
It was strange, truly so, but you found yourself falling in a routine with them, pleasing them in whichever way they needed, whether it was a hug, a kiss, or their fingers inside you, or your mouth on them. If they needed emotional support, comfortable affection of filthy affection you gave it to them both, no questions asked, and they did the same.
It was then, after a few months they spent thoroughly stretching your pussy, before they even dared to answer one of your dirtiest little questions.
"What would it feel like if you fucked me" 
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miruac · 4 months ago
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dating tenya iida headcanons - part two
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warnings: not proofread, extremely self indulgent, reader has a little bit of anxiety and theyre a lil insecure
a/n: listened to chappell roan while writing this. casual came on again and i imagined iida to it and i got sad so here u guys go
last time we were here it was a couple weeks when you two came back from your date
he got you that gift basket of things you eyed while window shopping, and your heart soard
this man loves to see you happy
as of now, it had been two months since your date, and you guys haven't gone out yet due to midterm exams coming up
but you've been setting for group study sessions with your classmates, in the dorm lounge
everyone's going insane and they're all pretty serious about studying
especially iida, he doesn't glance up at you much or now since his nose is always deep into his notes
he didn't realize but you felt a little distant, and a little scared that his feelings for you went away
you got up from your spot beside him and went back up to your room, to try and get some space
he didn't realize you were gone until his hand swung down and tried to hold yours
after asking around he found out you went up to your room to 'rest up'
he knocked on the door anad called for you, and you opened the door just a tiny crack
he was worried, and asked if he did something wrong
after you told him, he nodded and looked so upset with himself
"thank you for telling me, i'm sorry i made you feel like that. but rest assured, i still harbour deep affection for you. we may be busy now, but i will try my best to keep up with you."
IM SOBBING I LOVE HIM SO MUCH
the next day when you're heading down to your study sesh, he's waiting for you with a smile and blush on his face
his hand hovers over yours. and he's slightly shaking
you grip onto his, and you two are being all gross and cute while engaging in minimal pda(he approves this one time)
guys i dunno why i'm thinking of so many sad headcanons help
when youre sad or upset, he'll hold your hand or hold you in his arms
if youre crying or don't want to talk about it, he'll wait until you're ready
he won't push you, he just wants to mkae sure you know that he's there for you to fall back on
he does the thing where he's looking into your eyes as he caresses your cheek while wiping away your tears with his thumb(IM PHYSICALLY SICK. IM GOING TO BARF I NEED TO BE IN HIS ARMS)
he's so patient with you :(((
ok im done i dont wanna cry anymore
he always tries to cheer you up by telling you a funny story, or by reassurement. it depends on what you need
OK IM DONE IM DONE BACK TO HAPPINESS
now that exams are done, summer break is here!!!
majority of class 1-a went home for break, including you and iida
you two frequently messaged the other, until you came back to the dorms with a couple weeks left of the break
you didnt know but while he was home he bought a couple of souvenirs for you, HE GOT YOU A LITTLE BLUE BEAR WITH GLASSES THAT LOOKED LIKE HIM
as a celebratory 'summer's almost over' event, the class had a little dinner party
varied from bakugous murderous attempt of trying to get everyone to eat sichuan chili hotpot to satos sweet desserts
after the dinner, the class went outside to take a little breather(and to light some sparklers and play around with some fireworks WHICH THEY WERE SUPERVISED BY AIZAWA AND ALL MIGHT)
when everyone went in, you stayed outside for a little longer to look up at the pretty moon and stars
iida saw you from the window, and went outside to try
he was worried you'd get cold
like he had never seen your eyes sparkle like that, the way how all your features reflected upon the moonlight
this boy's heart did FLIPS LIKE CONTINUOUS 360S EVERYWHEREE
his face was so red stop hes so cute
he could not stop staring until you asked him what was up
"can i... kiss you.....?"
"what's with the informal speech all of a sudden?"
"apologies, may i kiss you?"
"yes, yes you may."
IM GONNA CRYYY HES SO CUTE
obvi he hasnt had his first kiss so when you guys did kiss he froze up and his hands literally hovered over you because he didn't know where to put them and if you were okay with it
after like ten seconds you both pulled away and LORD his face was REDDD
he had an awkward smile on his face AGHGHGHGHGHGHG I LOVE AWKWARD NERDSS
after composing himself he ushered you back inside in fear that you'll catch a cold
but when he got back to his dorm that night, he looked at himself in the mirror and smiled so triumphantly
he still felt your lips on his, and maybe he realized he wanted to feel them more often
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2nd a/n: hi guys!!!! part one got a lot of love which made me really happy, its so hard being an iida lover but you guys make it worth it <33 i also got a couple of dishes stuck together when i was washing them earlier and my parents got mad at me so this i decided to work on this to let out my anger AND HEY IT WORKED ok idk what im saying | fun fact i was listening to casual by chappell roan when i was writing the sad n sorta angsty part of this headcanon, because iida would NEVER partake in casual activity(i did a rant about this earlier im done ok goodbye) anyways THAT CONCLUDES MY RANT send me a plunger emoji if you guys got this far(in honor of the fallen dishes)
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toruro · 1 year ago
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IF YOU WROTE ABOUT TAEHYUN I WOULD DIE HAPPILY 💘💘 if you don’t mind a nsfw request, messing around with academic rival Taehyun stuff maaaaybe 👀
answers
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pairing. kang taehyun x reader
tags: smut (18+ / mdni), academic rivals au, mean dom taehyun, bratty reader, fwb (more like enemies who fuck but iykyk), angry / hate sex, implied dacryphilia, pet names (pretty)
w/c: 930+
a/n: i wrote a rly similar thing for joshua ages ago but i feel like it's so fitting for tyunnie too ... academic rivals is just right for him :3 ty to @agustdiv1ne my lov for reading this over 4 me hehe anyways thank u for requesting, i hope u enjoy!
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taehyun likes answers.
taehyun likes knowing answers.
he likes simple responses, easy explanations—pretty much anything that gives him the answer, plain as it is.
so it's safe to say he's just the least bit ticked off when you somehow outscored him on the last o-chem exam, and neither the professor nor you are giving him a straight answer as to how in the world that happen.
because taehyun swears—he swears on every last star in the sky—that he had hit the nail for this one. studied hours on end, turned down every single one of yeonjun's party invites, cancelled half his plans with beomgyu—he did fuckin' everything to make sure he'd secure that number one spot, but there you were, grinning with your stupidly pretty, pristine face as you held up your paper with a bright red '100' etched into the corner.
you must've been so proud of yourself too.
taeyhun almost feels bad, looking down at you as you try to muffle sobs of pleasure with your palm as he rams into you from behind.
"how'd you do it?" he hisses, bruising grip latched onto the plush of your hips.
"d-dunno what—fuck—" you whine when he jams his cock into your warm cunt with vigor that has you lurching ageainst the desk, gripping the edges so tight your knuckles are beginning to burn white. "—dunno what you're t-talkin' about," you manage to gasp out in the short moment of recuperation taehyun gives you before dragging his hips back and shoving his length back in just as deep.
"fuckin' liar," the faux, silver haired boy grunts from behind. a strangled moan escapes your throat as he continues to drill into you, and you press your cheek against the cool wood of the desk in fruitless hopes that it will keep you sane for just a moment longer.
"t-taehy—"
"save it," he growls, and the way his voice is so gravely, so deeply animalistic has you unconsciously thrusting your ass backwards too to meet his forceful thrusts. "can't even gim'me a—" his breath hitches when he feels your sopping cunt tighten around his length. "—a straight fucking answer."
you try to shake your head but with the way your body is throttling after ever snap of his cock into your cunt, the task proves extremely difficult. "feels so-oh good," you tell him in airy breaths. "c-can't—" you can't think, is what you want to say, but you're too fucked out to even be able to form coherent words, and the thought makes you grow dizzy with heat.
taehyun moans at the sight that follows—you looking up from him as you crane your neck to face him, back arched into the hottest fuckin' view he's ever had the pleasure of seeing, tears streaming down your pretty face, staining your cute cheeks, dripping off your swollen lips and—fuck, he might as well bust it on the spot if he wasn't so damn furious.
"feels too good, huh?" taehyun scoffs. "too good to tell me how you outscored me?"
"i-i—" you choke out when he rams into you so hard the sound of skin slapping against skin rings in your ears. "—told you i dunno. it's j-just i did better," you choose to add, not realizing that those five words were probably the last things you should have said.
taehyun pulls out of you in an instant.
it happens so fast that you swear you can still sense the lingering feeling of his fat cock inside of you, all pretty curves and veins carving their shape into your hot, gummy walls.
and then it hits you.
you're painfully empty.
"sh-shit!" you whimper, scrambling against the desk with jelly legs and sore hips as you mindlessly try to do anything that'll fill you up. it nearly angers you how quickly you resort to begging. "no, no, no, no—please, no! why'd you stop?!" you cry out, turning to face him him completely now. your ass now presses into the side of the table with taehyun looming over you in front, eyes dark and jaw clenched.
your eyebrows curve into a frown, puffy bottom lip jutted out in a pout as taehyun watches you intensely as you mewl softly, pushing yourself to sit on your desk and spread you legs for him. "taehyun, i—"
"so now you wanna talk?" he scoffs, surprising you by grabbing your thighs and yanking you closer to the end of the desk so that your dripping cunt are positions right in front of his shining cock. "tell me," he mutters, sliding the thick tip between your pulsing folds but not giving you what you want the most.
"please, taehyun, please," you repeat, writhing against his hold in a dreadful attempt at slipping his cock into you.
"you gotta tell me, pretty," taehyun whispers, nudging his length against your throbbing clit so that you jerk slightly at the stimulation.
"already told you," you huff out, having half the mind to roll your eyes at him, but something tells you you know better. "dunno—guess i just—"
you shriek loudly when he sinks into you at once, balls pressed against your ass as he leans over you and pins you to the desk. "say it," taehyun dares, pressing his lips to the shell of your ear as you close your eyes and revel in the feeling of him so deep inside of you. "say it and you won't walk for a week."
you don't know what possesses you to gulp and murmur, "—guess i j-just outsmarted you—ah! taehyun!"
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silvertongues-emeraldlies · 2 months ago
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Marked - Prologue {B.B}
Soulmate AU - People are born with their soulmate’s initial on the inside of their right wrist in red. When they meet, the initial turns a barely visible gold. If one dies, the initial turns black. If their soulmate isn’t born yet, it’s white. Though that doesn’t last very long…on most occasions.
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Part 2 || Part 3
Pairing(s): Bucky Barnes x Reader, Steve Rogers x Peggy Carter
Warning(s): Mentions of torture (i think that’s it)
Word Count: 1,189
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Bucky Barnes had always been the protector. He remembered his childhood filled with scrapes and bruises, not just from the neighborhood kids or his own adventures, but from stepping in to defend Steve Rogers. Skinny, scrappy Steve with his big heart, he never knew when to back down from a fight. It was on one of those summer days, the sticky New York heat pressing down on them, that they first noticed the marks on their wrists. Bucky was 16, barely old enough to know what it all meant, but old enough to understand the significance.
“Hey, Buck, look at this,” Steve had said, leaning against the railing of their Brooklyn apartment stoop. He rolled up his sleeve, exposing his skinny wrist to reveal a tiny, vibrant “P” in red ink, glowing under the sun. “Guess someone out there’s waitin’ for me.”
Bucky had stared at Steve’s wrist, a knot forming in his throat. It was something everyone dreamed of, that mark—a confirmation of belonging, of fate, of connection. “Looks like you’re not alone, Stevie,” he managed with a grin. He could feel Steve’s happiness radiate off him, and Bucky felt proud, protective. Steve deserved this.
But when Bucky pulled up his own sleeve, there was only a faint, colorless outline of an initial, but it was white, as if fate hadn’t bothered to finish the job. He laughed it off, hiding his disappointment. “Guess mine’s defective, huh?”
Steve frowned. “I dunno, Buck. Maybe it’ll change someday. Maybe you just haven’t met the right person yet.”
But Bucky had already started pulling his sleeve back down, a smile pasted on his face. “Yeah, maybe. Or maybe I get to be a free agent. Can’t have someone tied down to me, anyway.” He winked, but Steve’s concerned look stayed in his mind far longer than he would have liked.
As they grew older, the difference between their marks only seemed to widen. Steve’s soulmate initial was a bright red badge of hope, a promise of love and loyalty. But Bucky’s remained empty, pale and unfinished. He’d learned to hide it, to laugh and flirt his way through every gathering or dance. If he could make people smile, maybe they wouldn’t notice the white mark on his wrist. Maybe they wouldn’t see that empty, hollow part of him.
Bucky’s initial might have been invisible, but his duty to his country was anything but. When the draft came, he enlisted without hesitation, a sharp determination flaring inside him. If he couldn’t prove his worth through a soulmate bond, then maybe he could through service, through courage.
The first night in training camp was harsh and unforgiving, but Bucky kept his spirits high. He worked his way through every drill, every task, driven by the knowledge that he was now part of something larger than himself. When the war letters came in, soldiers would huddle around, reading notes from their sweethearts, kissing the paper as if it would bring them closer to home. And when Bucky would feel that emptiness tugging at him, he’d close his eyes, clutch his white initial, and remind himself that he didn’t need anyone else. He was already whole, even if it didn’t feel like it.
One evening, as he wrote his letter to Steve, he paused, the pen hovering above the paper. The words seemed to blur, the memory of his colorless mark vivid in his mind. Did it really matter if he didn’t have a soulmate? Did that define his worth? And yet, no matter how many times he reassured himself, there was a pang that never faded. He’d pour his heart into each letter home to Steve, recounting the good times they shared and his worries about the future, always keeping the more vulnerable thoughts locked away. There was no point in worrying Steve.
Bucky’s last mission was a disaster. Hydra forces overwhelmed them, and soon, Bucky found himself captured, bound, and transported to a place he could barely identify through the haze of pain and exhaustion. His body ached with bruises, and blood trickled from cuts he couldn’t even feel anymore. Every nerve in his body screamed, but he bit his tongue, forcing himself to remain silent. He wouldn’t give them the satisfaction. When they branded him with new scars, injected him with unknown chemicals, built him a new arm in place of the one he’d lost falling off the train, and whispered promises of destruction, Bucky felt his grip on reality slipping. But through it all, the faint white outline on his wrist remained, a barely-there line that somehow anchored him. The ghostly mark he’d once hated now became his lifeline. His fingers found it in moments of agony, a small, fragile reminder that he was still human. That somewhere, somehow, he had a tether to the world he’d left behind. Days blended into nights, which melted into more endless days. His memories of Brooklyn, of Steve, of the life he’d known began to fade, lost in the haze of Hydra’s relentless conditioning. But that white initial—it was there, like a whisper, a name he couldn’t quite remember but couldn’t bear to forget.
When he was first awoken for a mission as the Winter Soldier, almost 20 years later, the world around him was cold, sharp, and unforgiving. Every time they brought him back, he’d feel a sliver of confusion, a sense of loss that gnawed at him but never fully materialized into a coherent thought. And every time he felt that emptiness, he’d catch a glimpse of the mark on his wrist—a mark he didn’t understand, a blank canvas that somehow connected him to a life he didn’t remember. In the field, he was a machine—unfeeling, mechanical, a force of destruction honed to perfection. He followed orders without question, took down targets with precision. And when he returned, he felt nothing but the cold, the emptiness that clung to him like a shadow. The white initial had become his only company in a world stripped of humanity.
But one night, after a particularly brutal mission, something shifted. He returned to his cell, the taste of iron in his mouth, the ache of bruises blooming beneath his skin. He raised his arm, rolling up his sleeve with shaking hands. And there, where the colorless initial had always been, was a red letter, vibrant and alive, stark against his skin. A letter he’d once seen only as an afterthought, an empty promise, now burned with a brightness that sent his heart hammering.
It was real. He had a soulmate. He wasn’t broken.
For the first time in years, Bucky allowed himself a moment of emotion—a tear slipping down his cheek, a shuddering breath that broke the silence of the room. Somewhere out there, someone was waiting for him. He hadn’t been alone all this time; he’d just been waiting for this moment. And as he clenched his fist, feeling the strength return to his limbs, he knew he couldn’t give up. He had to fight, to escape, to find the person who’d saved him from the abyss, even if they didn’t know it yet.
———
This was a little rushed so it’s not the best. I had a friend help me write as well because i didn’t know what to write. I’m planning on making this fic a short series so let me know what you think!!
xx Cris
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commanderyes · 10 months ago
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The Commander Says Goodbye
I’m not going to lie, I’m extremely anxious as i’m writing this, out of what these news could mean to a lot of people, and my heart feels heavy enough it could drop down my ribcage any minute from now and squish all my other organs. But I’ve been dancing around this topic for a long time now, and I think i’ve finally reached a point where i can’t ignore it anymore, for my own sake.
I hereby announce Commander Yes has come to an end.
As I’ve mentioned plenty of times before, here and to many other people, when I began this comic all the way back in 2018 I was in a really bad, really low place in my life in every sense of the word, and it was a spur-of-the moment decision to cheer myself up, because Path of Fire had just released and my enjoyment of the game had reached fever pitch and I had been playing Guild Wars 2 alone since as far as launch, and none of my other friends had ever really gotten into it. I guess I just, dunno, cried out into the big maelstrom of the community, one voice amidst millions, because i wanted SOMEBODY to look at what i did and revel in the nerdery with me.
And somehow the snowball began to roll and people wanted more and more of what I could do, and I was being actively reached out to, and, well, some time after that I landed my first ever job, I discovered a lot of things about myself, and I found myself in communities that welcomed me with open arms, and many of the people in there have since become among the best friends I could’ve possibly encountered, kindred souls who i’ve shared joys and sorrows for many years and who I can’t imagine living without anymore.
And all the while I kept making the comics, and with every entry posted every week I’d keep having people stopping to comment on them, and whether they were dumb jokes or personal takes on the story, they’d all share how much what I do kept hitting them in the kokoro, and to this day whenever I play anywhere in the game I still get people who recognize me and thank me for doing what I do. It was wonderful, it IS wonderful, and seeing that response motivated me to keep going, because what did still mattered to people, out there.
But I did always say I planned to keep doing these comics until I ran out of energy for them, and I think i’ve finally reached that point.
Because ever since I actually landed that job I’m exhausted and sleep-deprived every other day, so much so that I only have time to work on the comic on saturdays and sundays, and it gets harder and harder to just sit and draw, and at that point it was just more work, and while I still enjoy and play Guild Wars 2 a lot, it no longer consumes my time and attention like I’ve used to and i’ve been having fun with more personal projects, and honestly the direction the story is taking these days does not sit right with me and it’s hard to find inspiration in that, and this might be borderline selfish but every year I find people care less and less about the comics and it really takes a hit to you motivation when hardly anybody responds after you’ve spent a whole weekend trying to squeeze a five-page comic out.
And, well, I have been doing these for six years straight, and I think that’s a good run. I’m tired, and ready to move on, at long last. Let it be someone else’s turn.
But that’s the beautiful thing about this community, isn’t it? Even if I’m hanging up the hat, there are a whole lot of fantastic artists out there, as we speak, still cranking out works of art, deserving of all the attention they can get. And think of all the artists yet to come! For every story that ends, another story is just about to begin!
The world keeps on spinning, one way or another.
I’ll be closing my patreon shortly after this, but the reddit archives and tumblr blog shall remain for people to browse whenever they feel like (or until they both go in flames, i guess, what social media isn’t about to these days)
I still don’t think I ever was that much of a big deal, but all the same, to everyone who’s ever supported me and helped me be the person I am right now, to everyone who’s been there from the beginning, to all the devs of this game that has captured us for nearly a decade now, to all my fellow players and artists out there
Thank you.
See you out there, fellow commanders. Still the stars find their way.
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immeasurablesaladagere · 1 month ago
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A Wildcard is Active - Team Self-Sufficient
Series - A Wildcard is Active
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Words: 4973
Summery: By a stroke of bad luck, both Gem and Joel end up as children and are determined not to let anyone know. There are reds about, it’s not safe for them to be alone without an adult to protect them. When they run into trouble in a cave, they're forced to ask the Bamboozlers for help.
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On the first morning of the fourth session, Joel allowed himself to stay in bed just a bit longer and take in the snail-less peace and quiet. No more running about constantly looking over his shoulder for deadly flying mollusks, just a nice easy doze in the Charger, living the life.
Gem was already up and about, cooking breakfast by the smell of it. Somehow session three had been a breeze for her and now she was going around being all productive. Showoff. 
“Joel! Breakfast is ready!”
As much as he wanted to roll over and doze for another thirty minutes, the start of the session would wait for no man. They only had a short time before the next wildcard activated for the week and they needed to pound back as many calories as possible if they wanted to keep up with whatever craziness Grian had in store this time.
So out of bed and into their makeshift kitchen he went, rubbing the sleep crusties out of his eyes. “Quit yer yelling, what if I’d been sleepin’ still?”
“Then you needed to get up anyway. Wildcard rolls in an hour, up and ‘attem!” Gem said with the chipperness of someone who hadn’t spent the last week fearing for her life, and slid two plates of eggs, toast, and bacon onto the table.
“Yeah, yeah. Easy for you to say, you dirty snail-lover.”
“Hey! Who made you breakfast?”
“You’re right, you’re right, I’m sorry.” Joel shovelled a forkful of bacon into his mouth and groaned. “S’really good.”
Gem chuckled. “Well don’t make it weird! Maybe I shouldn’t be cooking for you.”
“No, please, I’ll be eating nothing but bread all season.” He whined. “Seriously, this is great, thanks Gem.”
“Well of course! We’re going to need the energy!” She finished her glass of milk in one go and got up to start putting her dishes away because holy moly, she ate fast. “What’s on the to-do list for today?”
There were about a million answers to that question, seeing as no one got anything done last week. Diamonds, finish the base, make traps, go to the nether; but of course what they’d like to do didn’t matter so much as what they could do once the wildcard hit. “Dunno. Some mining, maybe hit the nether if Grian hasn’t rigged it to explode or sumfing. I need redstone and gunpowder.”
“Ooo, yeah, the nether sounds good. I don’t know if they’ve found the fortress yet, so maybe there’s still some potion stuff left.” 
The moment the last piece of toast was in his mouth Gem was snatching his plate out from under him and dumping it in the sink.
“Oi!”
She stuck her tongue out at him. 
Well, might as well get started on the list. “If gonna try to finish the base while nofing’s going on, head’s up for falling deepslate in here!”
“If you get rock dust in my kitchen I’ll put you on yellow!” She called after him.
The base was coming along nicely, it just needed a few finishing touches. Trim here and there, polish the windows, sand off a few edges. He grabbed his tools from the starter base and climbed up onto the hood of the car. Maybe he could even finish before the session started.
-
“Joel! Wildcard!”
He could not. Joel sighed and set down his tools as the colourful ellipses appeared in his vision and Gem came outside. They had to be prepared for anything, and it was much safer to find out the gimmick together. They both braced for the worst. Floor is lava? Levitation? Permanent nighttime? More snails?
A Wildcard is Active.
The two of them did a hasty once-over of themselves. 
“Hearts and hunger are the same,” Gem reported.
“No effects, and you’re not dying right now so no floor-is-lava. Darn, I was hoping for that one.” He didn’t feel any different, and nothing around them seemed immediately strange. It was almost more unsetting that he couldn’t pinpoint the twist right away. 
“You were hoping I would die?”
“No, no, but you know what I mean. I was so sure that’d be one of them!” He patted himself down. “I don’t feel weird. Do I look weird?”
“More than normal? No.” She smirked.
“Wow, rude!”
He was about to accept that maybe Grian had miraculously decided to do something low-key this session. Maybe it was nether-based or mob-based and wouldn’t be nearly as big a deal as the murder snails and the hunger. Sure, it would put a mild spanner in the works but they would live. But then he felt it. His entire body suddenly felt… buzzy. Like pins and needles all over.
“Um, actually… Maybe I do feel a bit weird…” 
Gem shifted from foot to foot, rubbing a hand up and down her arms. “You feel it too? What is that?” Her eyes widened. “Oh my— Joel, you’re smoking!”
“I know that Gem, but I’m married so—“ Oh. Sure enough, his arms were giving off a faint purple mist, and now that he noticed it, so was Gem. “Woah, you’re smoking too! What on earth is this? Gah, I hate this feeling!”
In seconds the smoke went from tiny wisps to thick fog that surrounded him completely, and he could just barely make out Gem disappearing behind her own cloud as the smoke consumed him and everything went dark.
Then a moment later he was back again, lying face down on the car and tingly all over. He groaned. Was it weakness? Why did he feel like he was just tossed around by a ravager? He went to sit up and was rocked by a wave of dizziness. “Ugh, oh dear…” He mumbled, and then slowly his words caught up to his spinny brain. 
Something was wrong with his voice. It was higher, and weirder. 
“Joel!?” Came a squeaky cry from the ground, one that sounded eerily familiar. 
He shuffled forward to the edge of the base and oh, that was a long way down. Standing in a fun-size suit of armour and using a sword much too big for her to prop herself up was Gem. Tiny Gem. She looked no older than seven, maybe eight at the absolute most.
“Gem! What’s happened to you?” He called down, and yeah, his voice was definitely wrong. 
“Me? What about you? You’re teeny!”
He took a proper look at himself and his new tiny body, squishy arms, and stubby hands. Oh, this was terrible. 
“Are we all kids? Is that the twist!? That’s horrible!” How were they supposed to survive like this!?
Gem fumbled to pull out her spyglass and looked across the field to their neighbours. “No, not everyone! Tango’s still big over there, but Etho and Bdubs are little!”
“So only some of us? And we both get made into stupid toddlers? That’s not fair!” He pouted.
Their communicators were suddenly flooded with messages, mostly panicked gibberish from everyone who had been baby-fied and gushing from everyone who hadn’t. From the looks of it every group had at least one normal adult; between Scott, Cleo, Pearl, and Impulse there were three, except for them.
“This is bad, right?” Gem asked nervously, “There’s yellows and reds and if they know we don’t have someone protecting us… what if they kill us?” Joel hadn’t even thought of that. “Come down from there, we gotta find a place to hide!”
He went to climb down, but stopped when he saw the steep drop down the windshield to the ground. Suddenly his stomach was twisting into knots and he couldn’t bring himself to slide down. “Uh…”
“What’s wrong?” Gem asked with a look of growing worry, “Are you… scared?”
Joel’s ears burned. “N-no! Just, um…” So it was messing with their heads as well.
Gem seemed to understand, and careful to stay out of sight from their nosy neighbours, she crept around to the front of the car and built up a few blocks. When she got close enough, she held out her arms for him to slide into. “I’ll catch you.”
Absolutely not. He would rather die right then and there. “I don’t need your help!” 
Gem rolled her eyes. “Sure you don’t, now come on! Before someone sees us!” She hissed.
Without much of a choice, Joel took a deep breath and pushed himself down the hood of the car with a squeak and landed safely in Gem’s arms. Once he was safely back on solid ground, she immediately began to manhandle him.
“C’mon, c’mon!” She dragged him by the hand to their starter base and to his dismay, she was indeed much taller than he was, and she was able to pull him like he was a bundle of feathers. “Grab as much food and stuff as you can.” She said, and began rifling through their chests.
“Wha— okay, where’re we going?” The chests were so hugehe almost couldn’t reach into the bottom and he had to stand on his tip-toes to reach a pile of bread.
“We’re gonna hide underground. No one’s gonna wanna come look for us down there.” Gem said, like she’d thought the whole thing through already. She dropped a stack of torches and loose coal into her inventory.
“For all week? That’s a long time.” He pointed out.
“Yeah, I know, that’s why we’re getting all this stuff. We can come back up for food if we really gotta, but we can’t let anyone know that we’re both kids. That’d be super bad.”
Joel snickered. “You’re talkin’ funny.”
She scoffed, offended. “Am not! And don’t be mean to your elders!”
“You are not my elder! Look at you!”
“Uh-huh, and what does that make you? Look how small you are compared to me! You’re just a baby!” She teased, ruffling his hair.
“Oi, you—“
“—Gem? Joel? Are you here?”
They froze. Bdubs. And where there was Bdubs, there was Tango, and Tango was red. Gem hurried them to the wall and dug into it, boxing them in. They both held their breaths as multiple sets of feet walked around their base.
“Awe, they’re not here.” Bdubs.
“Do you think they’re kids, too?” Etho.
“Oh, I wanna see kid-Joel so bad! I bet he’d be real tiny.”
“C’mon Dubs, let’s go find the others.”
The footsteps walked away, and they both let out a sigh of relief.
“Let’s dig down.” Gem whispered. She lit a torch and the little box they were crammed in filled with light, which he liked a lot more than the dark. Joel tried his best to stay out of her way as she began to dig a tunnel down, and he was put on torch-duty, keeping it lit all the way down.
After what felt like forever, they finally hit a cave. It was really dark, which was both good and bad. Good because it meant no one had been there yet, and bad because Joel was very quickly learning his little kid brain didn’t like the dark very much.
“I don’t hear any monsters.” Gem said, peering into the hole, “Gimme the torches.” She took one more look around, then scooted down from their safe ledge into the cave. The torch in her hand lit up the walls around them just enough for him to see just how much further the cave went. It was already huge, but it seemed even huger because they were so small. The empty void made his stomach feel fluttery. He took out his sword and gripped it tight.
“Put the torches down, Gem! So the mobs don’t spawn!” He said urgently. Gem turned around and raised an eyebrow at him.
“You’re really jumpy, huh?” She smiled.
“I-I’m not! We just have to be careful. What— w-what if mobs do more damage ‘cause we’re tiny? Didjya ever think of that, Ms. Not— uh, Afraid?”
It was meant to be a jab but she just started giggling. “This is adorable. You look so pouty!” 
She was so busy laughing at his expense she didn’t notice the creeper emerging from the darkness and scuttling towards her.
“Gem, watch out!” 
She whirled around just in time to pull up her shield before the creeper blew up in her face and sent her staggering back into the wall. 
“Are you okay!?” He called, timidly crouching over the ledge. 
Gem chuckled nervously, brushing off some of the stone bits that got on her clothes and hair. “Yep, all good! Maybe the torches are a good idea…”
As Gem placed down torches he cautiously climbed down into the cave, keeping a sweaty hold on the handle of his shield. He hated just how blummin’ nervous he felt. He shouldn’t have cared if it was dark or if there might be monsters lurking around the corner, but suddenly the thought of leaving the light and Gem’s side was the worst thing ever. Stupid kid brain, stupid kid body. 
“Okay! We’re okay, we’re fine.” She chirped, “We’ve got torches, an’ our swords and shields, we’ll be fine.” It sounded like she was trying to tell herself that just as much as she was telling him, which strangely did make him feel better. At least we wasn’t the only scaredy-cat, even if Gem was better at hiding it than him. “Let’s go find some iron. We might even be deep enough to find diamonds!”
Right. Diamonds, iron, focus on that. “We’re gonna be so rich, Gem. All those silly fools up there are gonna be freakin’ out about being stupid babies and we’re gonna have full diamond!”
“There, that’s the spirit. Do you— um...” She offered her hand to him with a small smile. “You can be our shield, and I’ll protect us with the sword. How’s that sound?”
Joel scowled at her hand and reluctantly, to the death of his pride, took it. This was the worst day. He was going to have a talk with Grian when this was all over. The jerk was probably an adult as well, knowing him and the stupid universe. “Fine. But only for teamwork.”
“Teamwork.” Gem agreed, and they descended into the darkness.
-
“See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Gem asked, throwing a few more loose pieces of wood into their little campfire.
It wasn’t. Sure, the dark still wasn’t very nice and they hadn’t had much luck with diamonds, but their trek through the cave got them a lot of iron, nearly a stack between them. “I wasn’t worried. I knew we were gonna be fine the whole time.” 
“Uh-huh. And when you screamed like a girl ‘cause you saw a spider you were totally gonna take it down, right?”
He nodded, dumping as much raw iron as he could fit into the furnace. “Yep, you just got their first. Silly Gem, stealin’ my kills.”
Even though he’d been trying not to think about it, he appreciated what Gem was doing. Both of their minds were being affected by the wildcard, but it was embarrassingly obvious that he had it worse, probably because he seemed to be the ‘younger’ of the two of them. And all the while dealing with her own nervousness and keeping them safe, she was talking to him like a normal person and keeping him steady. The good-natured ribbing kept everything feeling light when the scary cave sounds started to get to him, and she wasn’t being overbearing or babying him. It was almost like session one again; a normal day, just ever so slightly shorter than two blocks tall.
“Here, pork chop’s ready.” Gem passed him a stick with a cut of cooked pork chop skewered on it. Even without any seasonings, it smelled delicious.
“Fanks, Gem.” He devoured the whole thing in a few large bites, much to Gem’s disgust. One of the few upsides to being so small was that they were going through much less food than usual, and one pork chop was all he needed to feel properly full again. 
“So,” He burped, “We’re really gonna stay down here all week?”
Gem nodded and started making something on the crafting table. “Thas’ the plan.”
“Aw, but that’s a bit boring, isn’t it? I wanna have some fun too…” He kicked a little stone away and the clacking echoed off the walls.
“Do you wanna have fun, or do you wanna stay alive?”
How could she be so tiny and still act like such a mum? “Stay alive, I guess.” He pouted.
She turned around and laid a thin wool sleeping bag on the floor with the tiniest pillow Joel had ever seen. “That’s what I thought. I’ll take first watch. I didn’t bring enough wool, so sorry it’s not very good...” 
There was no way he could be upset about the sleeping bag, not when she was making that face. If they were on the surface Joel was sure Gem could get them whatever they wanted just by giving someone puppy eyes. “No, no, it’s fine! It looks super comfy. In fact,” He crawled over to it and nestled inside to show her. Stones dug into his back. “See? I could fall asleep right now.” He made an exaggerated yawn.
Gem chuckled. “I ‘precicate it, but you don’t hav’ta lie. Your pudgy little face doesn’t hide anything.”
“Going to sleep now!” He yelled, turning over and pressing his face into the pillow. “Honk-shoo, honk-shoo, see? Sleeping.”
“Have a good sleep, Joel.”
-
“Joel, get up, get up, come on!”
Joel barely had time to remember where he was before he was on his feet and they were running. His half-asleep legs stumbled to catch up and Gem was half-dragging him, and between his bleary eyes and the unlit cave he could barely see where they were going.
“Gem, what on earth— what’s going on!? What are we runni—“ Two arrows whizzed past his head much too close for comfort, and that woke him up.
“There were so many, I—I couldn’t kill them all!” Gem exclaimed. They took a hard left at a fork and two more zombies joined the chase from the right. There were at least six mobs behind them, probably more. There was no time to pull out their shields, they’d surely be overwhelmed instantly, which meant they’d just have to find a place to hide.
“Gem this is bad, this is so bad!”
Gem cried out as an arrow lodged itself in her shoulder, and then another. “I-I know, I know, keep running!”
They rounded another corner and skidded to a halt. Dead end. Joel raised his shield to catch another arrow but the mobs were getting close fast. They were dead. 
He yelped as Gem grabbed him by the scruff and pushed him into a corner. “Ow! Gem, what—?” She began haphazardly surrounding him in cobblestone, and Joel’s stomach sank. “Wait, G-Gem, what are you— what are you doing?”
“I’m low, my shield’s almost gone,” She panted, and her splitting shield took another hit, this time from the zombie at the head of the pack gnawing viciously at the wood. “Stay in here, I’ll come back for you, okay?”
“Gem, no!” His heart was pounding. He could only see a sliver of Gem’s scared but resigned expression through the gap now. More zombies caught up, groaning and forcing her back. “Gem—!”
The last block slid into place and he was plunged into darkness just as the message rang out.
Geminitay was slain by a zombie
-
This wildcard is a nightmare.
Jimmy watched, exhausted, as Lizzie tried to coach Scar up a tree for the third time. While a good “parent” might have stopped it by now, falling out of a tree was about the safest thing they had been up to over the last twenty-four hours. If all he had to do was pass out snacks for regen every time Scar fell, that was fine by him.
He truly believed Grian’s games simply hated him personally. Why else would he be the only adult in his team? The yellow life, the canary, the one who attracted death, keeping two children safe. What was the universe thinking? And of course in all the nonsense he hardly had any time to think about how he was going to get his next kill. Lizzie had been trying to help, but most of her ideas ended up drifting in a fantastical or hypothetical Jimmy-is-suddenly-amazing-at-pvp scenario and hadn’t come to fruition. 
“Jimmy, look! I made it!” 
Sure enough, Scar had finally managed to clamber up next to Lizzie on the branch, smiling proudly down at him.
“Wow, look at that! Don’t fall please, I’m running out of bread!”
“I won’t, I’m being very careful.” Scar waved him off, then wobbled and caught himself. “See? Careful.”
“Mm-hm.”
Bzz-bzzt.
Oh? What’s gone on now? He pulled out his communicator.
Geminitay was slain by a zombie
<Smajor1995: ???>
<Grian: red/yellow kill??>
<BDoubleO100: gem’s baby I kno it>
Huh. Gem and Joel had been missing for the entire session so far, and for her to die to a zombie of all things, she must have been seriously caught off-guard. Or small, came the thought, but even then Joel probably would have been looking after her, what with his whole “family” bit. Was he seriously being a better parent than Joel right now? He smiled to himself. What an idea.
And so, continuing his streak of great parenting, he went back to supervising. 
“Wo-OAH!”
And down Scar went, taking Lizzie with him and hitting the ground with a thump. 
“Owwww, Scaaar! That hurt!” Lizzie whined.
“Sorry, sorry! I was tryin’a get higher!”
Jimmy just sighed and fished two more loaves of bread from his inventory. “Come on now, no arguing, just take your bread.”
Thankfully even though Lizzie and Scar had proven themselves to be quite the tiny squabblers so far, the snacks seemed to settle them enough to just sticking their tongues out at one another and throwing crumbs. It was in the middle of their picnic when he heard someone yelling his name, and he turned to see Gem running towards him. Sure enough, she was a kid maybe the same age as Lizzie, and she looked all out of sorts.
“Gem! Where’ve you been, eh? What’s going on?”
“Y-You gotta— you—“ She gasped, out of breath and stumbling over her words, “You— we need help!”
Jimmy raised an eyebrow. “What? Slow down, who’s ‘we’? You and Joel?”
Gem nodded quickly. “We— we were in a cave and I was s’posed to protect him b-but I couldn’t an’ there w-were so many mobs an’—!“
“Hey, hey, woah, easy.” He knelt down in front of her and put his hands on her small shoulders. This was still so weird. “Deep breaths, ready? In…” She took a harsh breath in. “Out.” She released it. “Now, tell me what’s happened.”
Gem swallowed hard and Jimmy swore he could see the faintest hint of tears forming in her eyes. “Me and Joel are b-both kids, a-and I said we should hide ‘cause we had no adult to protect us so we went into a cave. I-It was my idea an’ I was s’posed to keep him safe, b-but there were so many mobs and—and I di-died and now Joel’s trapped down there and it’s all my fault!” She blurted, and a few stray tears fell down her cheeks.
Oh boy. “Well, that is a lot, isn’t it?” He said stupidly, and then rushed to correct himself when Gem’s face scrunched up like she was about to start bawling, “B-But don’t worry, we’ll get this all sorted, yeah? Where is he? I’ll help you rescue him.”
“In a cave under our base. I gotta show you, w-we dug it ourselves.” She sniffled, collecting herself. Thank admins.
“Alright, well…” He looked over to Lizzie and Scar, who were watching with wide eyes. “Lizzie, I put you in charge. Go back home with Scar and play some board games or something until I get back. Or go play with the neighbours, whatever, just something safe, alright?”
Lizzie got a look of genuine seriousness about her and nodded, and the two of them ran off towards the mountain.
Jimmy offered his hand to Gem. “Alright, lead the way.”
-
The staircase down into their cave was a tight squeeze, but once they were in the mouth of the cave opened up considerably. For an undiscovered cave it was very large and, other than a few of Gem’s stray torches, very dark.
“Jimmyyy!” Gem urged, “Hurry, this way!”
“Right, right, hurrying!”
He heard the mobs before he saw them, and there were a lot. At least two skeletons, a handful of zombies, and a spider. No wonder they’d been overwhelmed, even he was going to need to be careful about this. He motioned for Gem to stay back and brought up his shield, steeling himself with a breath for courage. Why Gem came to him with this was beyond him, but there was no turning back now. Joel needed him. Heck, Gem needed him. He peered around the corner where the pack was clustered around a cobblestone box and noticed a single creeper mixed into the bunch. Bingo. 
“Hey, big stupid mobs! Come and get me!” He shouted, and the entire group turned to come towards him. The creeper scuttled faster, pushing its way to the front, exactly what he was hoping for. He hid behind his shield as they all clustered together and the creeper hissed to life.
BOOM
The only surviving skeleton was easy to cut down with his sword, and he let out a huff of relief as the bones clattered to the floor. He did it. Holy moly he did it.
“Joel!” Gem rushed past him to the cobblestone box.
He helped her break away the stone, and inside the box with not so much as a torch sat Joel, who was maybe even younger than Scar, curled in on himself and shaking like a cold strider. A tiny part of Jimmy, the tiniest, ugliest part, whispered in his ear how easy it would be to get a dark green kill right now. How simple.
No. Not like this.
“I-I don’ l-like this wildcard…” Joel whined, before bursting into tears.
“Oh Joel, buddy, it’s alright…” Jimmy tried to comfort. His hands hovered uncertainly. A quick glance at Gem told him she wasn’t doing much better and was just barely keeping it together. He needed to come up with something quickly. 
Without stopping to consider the possible awkward consequences, he did the first thing he could think of. He reached down and scooped Joel into his arms.
“Hey, shhh, you’re alright, you’re okay… shhh. Uncle Tim’s gotcha now, everything’s gonna be A-OK.” He hushed, letting every soothing phrase he could think of tumble out of his mouth like alphabet soup. He threw in a little gentle rocking, pet Joel’s hair, anything he could think of until finally the shaking and crying began to settle. The shoulder of his jacket was soaked through with snot and tears by the time Joel properly came back around, but that was fine. He would just have to dunk it in the river or something later.
Joel sniffled and sat up slightly, using one hand to scrub at his face while the other stayed firmly clutched in his shirt. “Ugh… sorry about that, Jim. This whole kid ‘fing sucks…”
“…Joel? Are you okay?” Gem mumbled, face flushed and eyes puffy.
Joel thought for a second, then nodded slowly. “Yeah. Just got a bit scary there, y’know? Stupid baby brain didn’ like the dark.”
“M’so sorry…” She warbled, sounding on the edge of tears again, and Jimmy had to put a stop to that right away.
“Nope, no more crying!” He announced, maybe a bit too loudly, “Everything’s alright now. You did the best you could, Gem. See? Joel’s still on six lives because of you.”
“But I—“
“No buts! You did a good job protecting Joel, and Joel was very brave for staying safe down here by himself. Can we all agree?”
“Haha, butts.” He heard Joel mutter against his shirt. Jimmy counted that as a win.
“Perfect. Now we’re all going to get out of this cave, and you two can spend the night with the Bamboozlers, how does that sound?”
“Like a sleepover?” Gem tilted her head like a puppy, and now that they weren’t in a crisis, man, these guys were cute. 
“Yeah, like a sleepover. C’mon now, I’ve got to get back to Lizzie and Scar before they destroy the server.” He went to set Joel down, only for him to cling tighter and wrap his legs around his torso like a koala. Jimmy was happy to keep carrying him; if he was being honest he expect Joel to start thrashing to be let go the moment he came back to himself, but if he still needed it then Jimmy certainly wasn’t going to judge. Plus, one day it was going to be an amazing story to hold over his head. Maybe not today, but someday.
“So,” Joel said, a cheeky smile on his face as they started up to the surface, “‘Uncle Tim’, huh?”
Jimmy wordlessly reached up and pushed Joel’s head back against his shoulder. “Hush.”
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magics-neptunes-things · 1 year ago
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Fire and Ice 2
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Hi guys!
Here is the part 2 of Fire and Ice, I try to pick a suggestion an anon made yesterday so I hope it will be fun to read :)
And it’s actually much longer than I imagined at first.
Keep telling me what you think about my writing, I love to read you.
Enjoy!
PART 1 ______________________________________________________________
The next time you saw Leah was two days after your kiss. She was kind of moody, all the team was supposed to take the team picture and the weather wasn't really nice.
Even if you didn’t stop thinking about this kiss, you didn’t try to talk to her. Or at least you didn't do anything else than creep every picture on her Instagram or the firsts videos of her TikTok. And the more you find yourself watching these videos, the more you fall in love with Leah. The way you felt during this kiss is always present and you just have to think about it to feel them again. It never happened to you before and you don't know what to do about it.
Arriving the last ones with Alessia, with whom you make the trips to the stadium, you don't have the courage to go and greet everyone. You just smile and wave, but your gaze lingers for a few more seconds on Leah. With her umbrella, she seems to complain to a Lia who have an amused look on her side.
After this day you didn't really have the opportunity to see her. However, what you don't know is that she sometimes observes you from the physio center where she continues to follow her exercises to return to the field with you. Despite the tinted windows, she sometimes has the impression that you feel her gaze on her given the way you turn in her direction.
**************
The next time you really have the opportunity to see her, it's for the next team evening. This time it was organized by Lia and you gladly accept when she ask you to come over. You managed to sit on the sofa with direct look to the kitchen where Leah is, in the middle of a discussion with two or three other teammates, allowing you to look at her without it being too obvious. This will not stop you from getting caught by Leah herself watching her, several times. But each time you just smile at her before looking away, without even taking the time to check that she gives it back to you.
Pizza were eaten and the first film finished when Beth and Katie approach you with a big smile, sitting each on either side of you. You were talking with Frida about Norway, you missed your country a little bit, but your conversation was quickly stopped. From the corner of your eye, you notice that Leah sits down more straight on the other sofa, a look of frustration on her face.
"So!" Katie begin as you raise an eyebrow at here "We made you a Tinder account."
"You what?"
To be honest, you really thought they’d forgotten about you meeting someone. The subject hadn't been discussed since and you didn't even think to tell Frida about it, the kisses you exchanged with Leah making you forget what else had happened during this evening.
"What’s all this about?" Frida asked with a deep frown, taking her role of big sister a little too much at heart.
"Well, Y/N is single, young, cute and really hot. She need to find someone to take care of her and give her the love she deserved" Beth answers, like it was the most logical thing ever.
You whispers something about the love of god on your mother language, hiding your face behind your hand.
"Told you it was stupid of you" Leah mumble from her couch.
You look at her between your fingers, but you are quickly interrupted by Beth who removes your hand from your face to show you her phone screen.
"Look!" she says happily while you take it in your hand.
Tinder was open on your profile and you look at what they might have written or said about you.
"Where did you find this picture?" you asked, as it was one you take from your last summer holiday.
"Google, i think. Dunno" Katie shrugs.
"I'm single and ready to mingle. Really?"
Beth and Katie both laughs as you roll your eyes, giving Beth's phone back. You’re trying to take this lightly, even if you must admit that it makes you a little uncomfortable. If the information that a profile in your name is on a application like this comes to your parents, you’re not sure you can handle their questions. Frida, on the other hand, seems rather suspicious and a glance at Leah informs you that she's still looking at the scene with a gloomy face.
"And it's not finish! We already managed to arrange two dates for you. We didn't know which kind of girl you like, so we take a brunette and a blonde. You just have to cancel the one you don't like."
You remain completely amazed this time, simply not knowing what to answer. It was Leah who did it for you, getting up from the couch, too angry to stay on the couch.
"This is some bullshit, making up a date from Tinder? What are you looking to? Get her murdered to get her place on the team?"
"She's right" Frida add, frowning. "I don't want to find her in the news, other than for her athletic talents."
"You both are overreacting. She will be safe" Katie shrugs.
"Blond or brunette?" Beth asks you, ignoring the others.
Your gaze flies away for a split second towards Leah, before you respond in a whisper that you prefer blondes.
**************
A few days later, you find yourself at the date that you haven't planned at all, clearly not totally comfortable with the girl that your teammates have selected for you. She realized very fast that the way you talk isn't the same that it was on the application, so you confessed the truth. It didn’t seem to bother her, but rather to amuse her. After your meal at the restaurant, she offered to continue the evening in a bar a little further down the street and you agreed. You can’t deny people things.
You’re having a hard time concentrating on what she’s telling you, stupidly excited about something else. One little thing, too. But Leah did a post last night on your last game and in her photo drop she posted one of you accompanied by a goat emoji and a crown. And it gives you far too much pleasure for it to be innocent. But again, Emma, who seems to be particularly the kind to forgive people, doesn’t seem to pay much attention to it.
Speaking of attention, you haven't shown much either since you didn't realize that the woman who has been haunting your thoughts for almost three weeks is actually a few meters from you.
Leah managed to snatch the name of the restaurant you were supposed to meet Emma from Beth and simply decided to take you as a fillature. Officially to watch over you and make sure nothing happens to you. Unofficially because she’s mad as hell just thinking about the stupid idea of her two friends. Like you need a Tinder date to meet someone.
As she watches you talking to that damn blonde, she tries to determine the real reasons why she came here. Because the truth is, she hasn’t stopped thinking about your kiss either. And it annoys her like crazy, but after trying to ignore you for almost two weeks, these idiots of Beth and Katie decided to throw you in the arms of the first person coming.
And even though she’s consumed with jealousy to see you so comfortable with Emma, unlike what you’ve never been with her, Leah can’t help but feel satisfied seeing you get lost in your thoughts sometimes as Emma talks. Emma can certainly not realize it since she doesn't know you, but Leah has been watching you for two weeks and can now determine the different expressions of your face.
She followed you to the bar discreetly, there also satisfied to see the physical distance that you put between you two while you were walking. She saw the way Emma tried to grab your arm to walk and the skillful way you went away, while remaining polite. It reassured her a little, too, proving that despite your shyness you can say no.
The bar you chose doesn’t have a very good reputation (something you don't know) and Leah is happy to have followed you, just in case. The crowd being denser than in the restaurant, she sometimes loses sight of you from her table while you are installed in the bar with Emma. She isn't disturbed on her side, her icy look sufficient to keep away any human being having a little common sense.
**************
The discussion with Emma is rather light, but not transcendent either. She seems rather kind and it makes you a little sad not to be able to give her the attention she probably deserves. But you can’t help but think about Leah and it makes you half crazy. While you and Emma were walking down the street, you were wondering, for example, where would Leah have preferred to take you after the restaurant instead of listening to Emma talk about her work.
"I'm going to the bathroom" you say right after you order your second drink.
On your way to the toilet, you take the opportunity to take a look at your phone and send a message to Frida and Alessia to inform them that you are still alive. And you end up on Leah’s Instagram page, pouting when you see she doesn’t post anything. When you return, you inform Emma that after you finish your drink you will go home. You’re getting tired and the heat at the bar doesn’t help you feel better.
She takes it with a smile, not even asking if you will be able to see each other again next time. It makes you hope a little that she realized that you didn’t necessarily have sparks between both of you. Perhaps she could become a friend, but certainly not a love interest.
"Are you all right?" Emma asks you frowning a few minutes later.
With your eyes closed, you shake your head negatively, using all your strength of mind not to fall off your stool. Your head turns atrociously and you have the impression that the food you ingested a few hours earlier is just waiting to come out.
"Bathroom" is the only word you managed to say.
You try to get up, but it’s only Emma’s hand catching your arm that keeps you from falling. It's no longer your head that turns, but the whole room while the sounds of conversations or atmosphere of the bar reach you as if you had your head under the water.
"Come with me, I'll help you ok?" Emma tells you nicely by helping you to the bathroom.
As you reach the door, a voice intervenes and you must focus to understand what it says.
"Let her go. Now."
"Who are you?"
The unknown voice doesn't respond, but you feel much more toned and assertive arms seize your waist, rather delicately though. A fresh, pleasant hand lands on your forehead and only then that you recognize the smell of Leah’s perfume. The white fear that gripped her voice prevented you from recognizing her.
Hardly opening your eyes, blinded by the light of the toilet, you only see two babyblue eyes before sinking definitively.
**************
When you regain consciousness, despite your closed eyes, it only takes you a few seconds to remember what just happened. Opening your eyes abruptly, you suddenly sit in the bed in which you are. You’ve read too many stories that end badly because of drugs ingested without consent.
"Wow, slow down cowboy"
Leah get up from the chair next to you, lightly pushing your elbow to make you lie down again.
"Leah? What are you doing here? Wha- What happened to me?"
"It's ok sweatheart. You're safe. Breath, ok?"
Leah doesn't answer your question but the pet name she gave you make you forget this point. The softness of the tone she just used and her hand that delicately releases your hair from your face causes you like electric mini-currents throughout all your body. Is it normal to react like that to such a banal gesture?
But the black hole in your memory continues to torment you, you need to know.
"Do you know what happened to me?" you ask quietly, raising your eyes on her.
Leah bites her lips and you imagine already the worst, but she doesn't let the suspense remain too long.
"They think someone put something in your glass. Your girlfriend swore it wasn’t her, so they’ll look for who it might be. Even if you decide not to press charges the bar did so then they will look anyway. But no one touch you, I promise."
"She's not my girlfriend" you mumble, sinking yourself in the pillow.
"Whatever" Leah grumble, pulling the chair next to your bed to be near you.
"What are you doing here Leah?" you ask again, looking at her.
"Do you want me to leave?"
Of course not. You’ve never been alone with her in a room so long and you’re secretly thrilled that she’s here to take care of you. You’re worried about her leaving.
"No"
A few seconds of silence passed after your answer, to which Leah replied only with a nod, before returning to speak.
"I followed you"
You did not expect this answer and your head turns so sharply in her direction that Leah doesn't have time to hide her slight red cheeks.
"Why?"
"I'm your captain. I’m supposed to look after you."
You nod, a little disappointed with this answer. Your eyes continue to scan Leah’s face, who always seems to refuse to look at you. After a few seconds of hesitation, you gently place your hand on hers. You notice with relief that she doesn't remove it, despite her look on your hands.
"It's weird"
"What?" you ask, frowning.
Her eyes plunge into yours and you find yourself breathless in front of so much intensity.
"The way you make me feel"
You feel your heart miss a beat, before it start beating way too fast. You swallow your saliva but suddenly find yourself unable to say a word.
"Don't tell me you didn't feel anything when we kissed Y/N. I can't stop to think about it. I can't stop looking at you even if I don't want to because that's fucking scare me. I never fell this way before, even though I didn’t kiss almost two hundred people like Beth implied the other night. I mean, of course I noticed you because like Katie said, it’s hard not to. But we never really talked, and now I’m just thinking about you all the time. It doesn’t fucking make sense."
You're stunned, one more time. But Leah has been honest with you and you owe her the truth, too.
"You impressed me. That’s why I never really came to talk to you. I was afraid you might think I was stupid or immature."
"You used the past. Does that mean you don’t think I’m impressive anymore?" Leah asks you with a smirk.
Despite everything you can't help but smile slightly.
"No. I feel it even stronger, because you’re not the only one who has those kisses in mind all the time. I didn’t know you felt the same way."
Your heart keeps beating fast and you are relieved not to have a heart rate displayed on a machine, nothing would have been more embarrassing than that.
Leah’s gaze scans your face and you take the opportunity to do the same, admiring her features more openly than ever.
"Would it be inappropriate to kiss you now?"
Smiling softly, you respond negatively with a nod. You didn’t think your heart could pick up its pace again when you realized that Leah is approaching your face. Very slowly, allowing you to largely anticipate what will happen.
A breath escapes from your mouth when her lips ghost yours.
"Stay still" she whispers.
And you need all your strength of concentration to lie down and not break the last millimeters between your lips. But eventually it happens, Leah’s lips gently settling on yours. With the tip of your thumb, you caress her cheek for the few seconds that the kiss lasts.
It may have been a simple kiss and not a session of long making out, but the fireworks are back. You find yourself immersed in the blue of Leah’s eyes when you open yours again, shining with the same light you saw when you were at her home.
"I want more" you whispers and she smiles.
Delicately, you draw her with you on your bed and she willingly lets herself be guided.
You’re the one who initiates the next kiss, now that you know you have the right to do it. The sensations you find on her lips make you feel like you can breathe completely again. You spend a few moments rediscovering her lips, before sliding the tip of your tongue on her lower lip. You take advantage of Leah’s moan to slide your tongue into her mouth, starting a playful battle to determine which of the two will win.
When you separate from her to catch your breath, you feel her chasing your lips for a new kiss that you cannot refuse her. The truth is you don’t want this moment to end. But this eventually happens when a nurse enters the room right after knocking. Leah detaches herself from you to cast a bad look at the professional who blushes like a tomato.
"Oh… I’m sorry. I didn’t know…" she stammers and you have to bite your lips not to burst out laughing.
"What do you need?" asked Leah coldly.
"I just came to check that everything was fine"
"I’m fine, thank you" you answer with a smile, not to traumatize this poor nurse.
She nods and waits a few more seconds without moving, requiring a steady look from Leah with both eyebrows raised so that she gets out of the room, apologizing again.
"Stop impressing people" you smile, gently smacking her shoulder.
Leah turns her attention to you with a smirk and lays a softer kiss on your lips this time. Laughing softly at the visible disappointment on your face, she wraps a strand of your hair around her finger.
"As much as I would literally spend the rest of my day kissing you, I would like to make things clear right now"
"Ok?" you answer, feeling the anxiety slowly coming back.
You push yourself to the side of the bed to let Leah settle next to you, which she does by lying on the side her head supported by her hand.
"I know I’m not easy, I’m unpredictable, and sometimes I have trouble myself figuring out why I’m reacting like this. I am unbearable when it comes to food. I am jealous but I hate being so sometimes I pout for like two days without succeeding in explaining why. I’m really not the perfect girlfriend, every time I wanted to surprise someone it went wrong."
You don’t say anything, listening to Leah talking about herself, maybe not in the best way, wondering where she wants to go by telling you all this.
"But I think I’m a caring person, who knows how to take care of those she loves and remember things. I love cuddling in the morning, singing like crazy while burning my breakfast and taking baths. And I think I’ll love all these things even more if you share them with me. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in a relationship, but I want to try with you. I promise you to never hurt you. Let me get this right and let me take you on a date as soon as you get out of here."
"I would love that, Leah"
"Yes?"
"Yes" you answer, your smile illuminating your face.
She smiles back and you lean for another kiss. Leah doesn’t let you, however, putting an index on your lips at the last moment.
"One last thing"
"What?" you ask, hiding your frustration.
"I never want to hear about this damn Emma again."
You laugh while rolling your eyes. Despite her, Leah smiles softly and finally decides to interrupt your laughter by kissing you.
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digitalnumb · 9 days ago
Text
I made designs for both pre-ritual Dew and current post-ritual Dew and here's the thoughts I had while making it in the form of a mini fic, I dunno I don't write often!
When Dew was informed of the opportunity in the form of a question, he knew they had no intention of giving him an option. He was going to undergo this ritual, whether he liked it or not, whether he fought back or not. The ministry just couldn't seem to get the summoning right, and instead of summoning the fire ghoul they needed, they ended up with two water ghouls, which is no help to their cause. So a change had to be made, and surely they wouldn't force a freshly summoned ghoul to undergo it.
Regardless of the objections from the other ghouls, concern for their pack-mates well being, they scheduled the ritual, and soon enough, the day came, and there was nothing any of them could do but prepare. Prepare for anything. The best case scenario, Dew be utterly bed ridden for Lucifer knew how long, and the worst, well. It wasn't mandatory, or even recommended that the other ghouls follow the group to the chapel as Dew is dragged to the ritual table, but Aether, Mountain and Rain follow nonetheless. Not even the sisters of sin could gently persuade the closely huddled ghouls to wait outside.
They watched as Dew was strapped down to the table by his wrists and ankles, bickering with each of the sisters as they did so. Even through his mask, arguing anxiously to keep himself distracted for what was to come, Mountain and Aether could tell without a doubt the fear seeping through his facade. Eventually they sat, waiting for the dreaded moment as more preparations were to be made. Dew closed his eyes, and felt the light gleaming through the stained glass windows onto his face. He breathed in what he thought might be one of his last breaths, until a soft voice in his ear startled him. "You'll be fine," he looked up to who he knew was slipping honey-coated words into his mind. "Aeth.." he didn't notice the name slipped out till he was being gently quieted, a gentle hand being brushed through dark soft waves for the last time as Aether sent small waves of calming quintessence through Dew, soothing his running mind. As he closed his eyes again, he felt back in his and Aether's nest, like there never was a worry in the world to begin with. "You'll be alright, droplet," And like the world knew, Aether was cut off, being told to leave or at the very least step back.
As he opened his eyes again, he watched as Aether stepped back, noticing the shine of tears in his eyes, as he stepped back to join the other watery-eyed ghouls. He felt his heart sink to the bottom of his stomach, as if it was finally truly dawning on him that this may be it. He might die here. On this table, in the ministry chapel. Near the pews he has spent so many years, so much time, so many memories.
Then it began. The details of the ritual are that of things he couldn't even begin to understand. All he could understand was the great utter agony he felt. It was unlike anything he could have ever even imagined feeling, and then worse. The flames inhabiting the candles around the room grew furiously, flicking as if the mere attempt at this ritual had angered the gods. Dew's beautiful sea glass horns began to crackle and fall apart, starting at the crack in his horn he gained during his summoning at the ministry. Horns looking of obsidian shown through the cracks of his prior horns, eventually leaving just the longer obsidian horns in their place, all the while leaving a dark smoke pouring into the air around them. He then began to feel his skin and scales begin to burn, as if his body was being laid onto the core of the earth itself. His skin shriveled and burnt, leaving a new layer of skin beneath it with new fur to grow, replacing his soft and bright water ghoul markings with new grown fur and sharp edgings of markings. His gills began to burn up, shriveling and burning off, leaving what resembled deep cuts and scars into the sides of his neck and chest. All he could breathe in was sharp smoke, causing his lungs, adept to the coolness of water, begin to burn from the inside out. His screams faltered, leaving him to only whimper and writhe in pain until his lungs finished adjusting themselves to the new form he was taking. Although it was far from over. Just as soon as his pained, agonizing screams ended, they started again as the very bones in his legs and face began to reconstruct themselves, and he could feel every. Single. Bit of it. The cartilage of his ears shifted and partially melted off as they changed and reformed. Even the tears in his eyes felt like lava as his eyes changed and new color bled into them.
As he thrashed, the other ghouls decided they couldn't bear his screams of agony any longer, and allowed themselves to be pushed out by the sisters of sin. Rain was a shaking mess, being pulled in and comforted by Mountain tenderly. The only one still fighting to re-enter the room was Aether, eventually gathering himself enough to bang on the door, demanding to be let back in.
All the while, Dew's pain never skipped a beat, still flowing through his body, draining any bit of what was left in him. The form of his tail was being burnt off, and finally, the last step of the transition came. The water that remained flowing through his veins, the last thing his body held onto from his birthright as a water ghoul, burnt away from the inside out, evaporating and burning scars through his skin. As soon as the ritual drew its end, Dew stopped his screaming and thrashing as he fell back hard against the table, falling unconscious.
The aftermath of the ritual was Dew's heartbeat coming to a full stop two full times, being brought back both times. He fell into a deep coma for weeks, only to wake up still feeling the intense effects of the ritual. Even during the coma, his pain never subsided, as his conscience continued to primarily process the feeling of his recovery.
Side note: Dew got his nipples pierced after his recovering and simply shrugged it off as if it simply felt like nothing. Which to him, yeah. It definitely was.
But god forbid he get a cold. He becomes even whinier than he was while in the infirmary during recovery.
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