#Lady Quayle

[perfettamentechic]

23 maggio … ricordiamo …

23 maggio … ricordiamo … #semprevivineiricordi #nomidaricordare #personaggiimportanti #perfettamentechic

2023: Domenico Minutoli, attore italiano. Conseguì gli studi di Maturità Artistica, lavorando fin da giovane come attore teatrale, televisivo e cinematografico. Inoltre, diresse alcuni spettacoli teatrali. (n.1947) 2017: Roger Moore, attore britannico,  noto per la partecipazione alle serie televisive Ivanhoe (1958-1959), Il Santo (1962-1969) e Attenti a quei due (1971-1972), nonché per essere…

[andagii-writes]

"Indolent Marchioness," Excerpt 1

First draft level! This is where he (Caias) meets her (Khloe) for the first time.

Tagging @davycoquette and @agirlandherquill in case you were interested!

(455 words)

--

He rounded a bend and followed a gentle slope up, the cobblestone path ending to give way to a set of shallow steps. The low hill eventually overlooked the back gardens, the best vantage point heralded by a single bent willow tree. Its tresses trailed against the mossy shingled roof of a small stone building.

A breeze whispered through the grasses of the hill and the veils of the willow. Despite Ainsley’s dubious demeanor, he had pointed Caias in the proper direction of the Quayle family tomb, as well as a truly curious sight: a tea table set at the base of the willow tree, along with two chairs. One stood close to the tree, affording an artful view of the Quayles’ back gardens.

A woman sat in this chair, head leaned back against the edge of the chair’s backrest and mouth just slightly open. The rise and fall of her stomach indicated a peaceful rest, wholly undisturbed by both Caias’s approach or the dappled rays of light shifting through the willow leaves. Her cheek shone in the speckled light, her pallor that of an indoor woman but by no means unhealthy. Black hair tumbled around her shoulders and curled as though following the pert curve of her lip, then fell to the ground at a length Caias had never witnessed, not even in the capital. She was also dressed humbly, a woolen green shawl over her shoulders and loosely-fitted dress. A book lay open in her lap, while another breeze leafed through the page corners and cast delicate ripples across the surfaces of two cups of cold, over-steeped tea.

However, as much as the presence of a widow by her late husband’s final resting place made sense to Caias, this woman was not Lady Bryony. No—the face was too smooth, too young, and the hair too full, too richly black.

Caias shifted as he racked his memory. Who was this woman?

His motion made the paper wrapped around his flowers crinkle, at which the woman’s eyes snapped open.

Caias Hayden froze in place, transfixed by chills crawling up the underside of his spine. Snow-silver eyes flashed at—no—through him, and he could only let that gaze pierce him. He was certain, despite the foolishness of his own thought, that the woman’s single, sharp glance had revealed everything about him to her.

All the while he’d yet to guess her name.

But the edge of her eyes dulled as they fell to a half-lidded droop, her hair grinding against the backrest as she turned her head with a groan. Caias, realizing he’d held his breath, sucked in a deep gasp.

She sighed as well, her exhale soon shaping into a word.

“Ah... shit.”

[jomiddlemarch]

Getting to Know Me

Rules: Tag 10 people you want to get to know better.

I was tagged by @iamstartraveller776

Relationship Status: Married almost 23 years, together for 26.

Favorite Color: Yellow.

Song Stuck in My Head: nothing really. I listen to a lot of jazz though.

Last Song I Listened To: Bolero by Ravel because we were remembering how my dad’s frat hazing was listening to Bolero for 10 hours straight. It was another time.

Three Favorite Foods: mashed potatoes, chocolate, matzoh ball soup. 

Last Thing I Googled: the lyrics to “Jolene” for a fanfic title.

Dream Trip: well, we’re going to Italy this summer for 10 days and I’ve planned it all, so I guess that, but a second choice finisher might be France. Or maybe one of those Viking cruises there are always ads for at the beginning of Masterpiece where the lady has a big glass of pinot grigio and is looking across the countryside.

Tagging (no pressure): @orlissa @sagiow @aloveforjaneausten @4everships @amarguerite @aquitainequeen @asteraceae-blue @nervousladytraveler @kivrin @tessa-quayle and anyone else who wants to play!

[writer59january13]

Miniscule male member doth bend sinister

impossible mission of mine to bare witness

whereby mine (whore rubble) puny phallic

describes a bent shaft, particularly when cap locks on first observed by the missus when

we consummated intercourse, though nicht married, cuz the rutting urge overtook both

of us 24/7, 365 days year not omitting the leap day, which arose because planet Earth doth circle around the sun within 365 days, 5 hours 48 minutes and forty six seconds to orbit the nearest star, according to NASA, and while that calculation (rounded down established by Nicolaus Copernicus in the 16th century, when he proposed heliocentric model - quite controversial to the church ladies - upending geocentric theory placing the Sun

at the center of the solar system, with Earth orbiting around it; his theory was detailed in his book "De Revolutionibus Orbium Coelestium" published in 1543) to three hundred and sixty five days, we - twenty

first century Homo sapiens, recognize as a typical year, those nearly 6 extra hours do not conveniently disappear bitta bing bitta bitta bang: I recognize omission of most chitty word choice, but latched on to a song which shares the same name as the movie, a 1968 children's musical adventure film directed by Ken Hughes and produced by Albert R. Broccoli (not necessarily the guy kids wanna blame for their favorite vegetable) starring Dick Van Dyke, Sally Ann Howes, Lionel Jeffries, Gert Fröbe, Anna Quayle, Benny Hill, James Robertson Justice, Robert Helpmann, Heather Ripley and Adrian Hall driving the innovative idea (credited to Julius Caesar, who introduced it as part of Julian calendar, adding another extra day every four years to more accurately align the calendar after

segueing into the Gregorian calendar, a solar calendar used in most parts of the world today based on the Earth's revolution around the sun and named after Pope Gregory XIII introduced

in 1582) with the solar year; essentially making him the "inventor" of the leap year added to account for the difference.

[bllsbailey]

Sarah Palin Lights Rick Wilson Up Over His Sudden Concern Over Attacking the Children of Politicians

Let’s start at the beginning. During Commie Con The Democratic National Convention, Tim Walz gave a speech and at one point he called out his family. And one of his children, Gus Walz got emotional in response. Here’s video of that:

Tim Walz's 17-year-old son Gus stands up sobbing and yells "that's my dad." pic.twitter.com/PnGPulH1u8

Now, yes, he is gushing a little, but we never thought much of it. Not everyone reacts the same way to the same things and not every person maintains cool when they are emotional. So, it might not be our personal reaction if we were in his shoes, but it’s well within the range of normal in our book.

But some people calling themselves conservatives went after him over this reaction. For instance, Ann Coulter called it weird, before she wisely deleted it, as noted here:

Backlash erupts over criticism of Tim Walz’s emotional son: ‘families are everything’ - The Guardian https://t.co/Mf1384JQf5

But even if your moral compass doesn’t stop you from doing attacking this kid, maybe the fact this is terrible tactics will. First off, most people agree that the family of politicians are off limits. As we wrote when talking about a man being a creep toward Barron Trump:

Family—including people only related by marriage (including spouses)—should be off limits, unless they do something to affirmatively make themselves fair game. We have held to that principle, even when dealing with incredibly despicable people. So, to pick someone related to a less-despicable person, we defended Michelle Obama from attacks for years because she really hasn’t done more than the usual first lady stuff. By comparison, Hillary Clinton always pitched herself as co-president to Bill Clinton, so she was always fair game. And the same goes for children. Barron has always been off limits. And it seems that Tiffany Trump also is off limits—she really doesn’t get involved very much in her dad’s politics. But we can’t think of another Trump child who has stayed out of the political fray enough to be off limits—though we are open to being corrected.

We go on to explain why Hunter Biden, by comparison, was fair game, so maybe you will want to read the whole thing.

But in this case, it is even dumber, because you are attacking not the Presidential candidate but the Vice-Presidential candidate’s minor child (he’s reportedly seventeen years old). The truth is we don’t think most Vice-Presidential candidates have much of an impact on an election. We don’t think most voters are swayed one way or the other by the choice of a Vice President in most years (we think Dan Quayle might be the only exception in our lifetime). Walz’s apparent constant lying about his resume and his military service might have some impact because it shows poor and rushed judgment on Harris’ part—so the attacks on Walz might have a knock-on effect on how people see Harris. It might even remind people of how quickly it was decided that Harris would be the nominee, making a mockery of all of the Democrats’ claims they were party that would ‘defend democracy.’ But even if the American people all unanimously decided that Gus Walz was acting oddly, we don’t think that will change a single vote in Republicans’ favor. If anything, many people will be turned off by what they perceive as the meanness of the Republican Party—even if that is not fair.

So … respectfully, please stop it. If morality doesn’t convince you to stop, how about the fact you’re probably doing more harm than good?

But it is perfectly fair to point out how hypocritical the left has been over this. We previously referenced how the left has treated Barron Trump and Sarah Palin is here to remind us how the left treated her son, Trig Palin. This is what she said, when human pimple Rick Wilson tried to get high and mighty about the people making fun of Gus Palin:

Where you been on #TrigPalin all these years, Rick? The mocking of #Trig, the lies, conspiracy theories, death-wishes and death threats against him that continue to this day are the most brutal part of my political life. You and other “republican leaders” of your ilk have been… https://t.co/E2QFPmsuLa pic.twitter.com/oqr2YCbDvC

The cut off text reads:

You and other ‘republican leaders’ of your ilk have been heartlessly complicit with haters on the left who find joy in attacking my son. One’s silence up until a democrat’s kid #GusWalz gets mocked ONE time on a national stage is deafening. I occasionally share my precious, precocious, perfect child’s development so others may be encouraged and understand God’s standard of perfection isn’t man’s, and to testify that defending the sanctity of life is the best thing we can do in a pretty messed up world today. Go look, remove the   partisanship, eliminate double standards regarding respecting children with special needs   [Instagram link deleted] see why Trig is my whole heart😊 my world🙏and the reason I’m still standing. More on #Instagram @ sarahpalin97 [Instagram link deleted] #GusWalz #DNC @TheRickWilson #DownSyndromeAwareness

Indeed, we are old enough to remember when the Family Guy took a shot at Trig Palin for some bizarre reason:

Naturally, Mrs. Palin got a lot of support:

Any of this regarding children is wrong. Regarding Gus, it is wrong. But it should be called out across the board. I remember the vile things said about Trig. I have heard awful things, up to he should be dead or should be raped, about Barron. Condemn all or condemn none. https://t.co/auATRWAI0J

We make distinctions between how Donald Trump Jr. deserves to be treated versus Barron Trump, but otherwise we agree.

No solidarity with another parent of a special needs child. It's just "what about meeeeeeeee?" Typical republican! #TeamGus !!! https://t.co/dDqa5jqTfb

We’re sorry if Palin was focused on the incredible hypocrisy that was on display, instead of your pet issues. *eye roll*

And we keep hearing that Gus Walz has ‘special needs’ or that he is autistic or something like that. Now, normally, we wouldn’t want to discuss this at all because its his private life, but apparently his parents have talked about it publicly. We can only hope that either Gus is ‘out of the closet’ on his disability or he was okay with their decision to go public about his disability. But either way, you can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube when talking about the subject, and this appears to be the truth on the topic:

Janelle is quoting the entire headline and subheadline from NBC, so these are not her words at all and we appreciate the clarification that this doesn’t have anything directly to do with his emotionalism. Maybe there is an indirect effect because of him and his father bonding over trying to get an equal education or something like that, but no apparent direct effect.

Look, this author has his own learning disabilities and just through dealing with other people with disabilities we know more about disabilities in general than most people, almost by osmosis. But we never even heard of NVLD before today and we won’t pretend we are experts. But we have noticed that in many people’s minds being learning disabled is seen as almost like low level retardation. And frankly, it really isn’t.

For instance, one of this author’s disabilities is dysgraphia. There are at least two conditions grouped under that heading and, in this author’s case, it simply means that we have trouble writing by hand. We have been clocked at about four times the normal writing speed when we print and about twelve times when we attempt cursive—which is why we don’t use cursive for more than our signature. But you might have noticed we said that this affects our ability to write by hand and so, when we use a keyboard, this disability becomes irrelevant. It seems like we were born at just about the right time.

The point is that a learning disability doesn’t affect everything in our lives any more than being deaf does. We are not suddenly dumber overall, or bad at driving or anything like that (deaf people actually get in less accidents per capita than hearing people, fyi). NBC correctly notes that him getting emotional isn’t directly related to his disability. And, therefore, people should not treat him with kid gloves because he is learning disabled. We don’t deserve the soft bigotry of lowered expectations. People should be leaving Gus Walz alone because he’s a minor who hasn’t done anything to make himself fair game in politics, not because of any disability.

On the other hand, we do think Trig Palin’s disability is a reason to treat him even more gently than normal when dealing with the family of politicians. But stop having this categorical paternalism toward all disabled people, or people who are merely learning disabled. We are not that fragile.

ALL children under 21 of a politician should be off limits. Period! Only exception, would be if the child committed a felony. Then discuss responsibly. https://t.co/uyDIF24jCH

Excellent response, Sarah. Thank you for championing God’s most precious beings. Thank you for standing up to demonic mockery of beautiful people. Thank you for being true to yourself, for continuing to stand against the haters who have persecuted and slandered all of us. 🙏💙🇺🇸 https://t.co/jAPNbrcEru

Gollum's stunt double is a putrid, oozing pustule on the ass of humanity. I don't care what you think of Palin but she is dead on here. https://t.co/Kzzgc5qV2y

Yes, ALL of this!! Sarah has entered the chat!! @TheRickWilson always was and will always be a garbage human being with zero moral compass… Give em hell sis!!! https://t.co/ZaPfjSGjpa

Where #trigpalin has it over all the supposed smart rational people "Innocence"- his life is filled wonder, joys, smiles, curiosity, friends and family who love him without qualifications, and let us not forget his affection for those in his life Odd some call that a Disability https://t.co/aVXKX9ABKZ

Let’s not get too excited. People with Down’s Syndrome are disabled and they aren’t automatically angels, either. On the other hand, we have never seen any evidence that Trig Palin was anything but a complete joy to those who love him.

Well, I haven't seen anyone mocking Walz special needs child, but I sure as hell saw him yank that poor child like a sack of potatoes. https://t.co/Z7UYEGKiGG

And it isn’t really an attack on Gus, so there is nothing wrong with pointing out how nasty Tim Walz was when he did that.

But there always has to be at least one:

If people said anything at all it was about Sarah Palin’s narcissism and how she exploits her Down syndrome son Trig all the time for attention. But wow this takes it to another level some might even call it Munchhausen by proxy. https://t.co/iUx0kfgYHG

Anything at all? Did she miss the people claiming Trig wasn’t even her son? Or the aforementioned Family Guy attack?

And Munchhausen by proxy is essentially when a child is gaslit by their parents into falsely believing they are disabled or have a serious medical condition. Is that what Ms. Wight is accusing Palin of doing? Or is she too stupid to know what the meaning of the words she is using? We report, you decide.

I love that they assume everyone forgot how vile they truly are, all of the time. https://t.co/W6kyJWvSKw

Rick Wilson is a bought and paid for grifter. Enough said.

I am so sorry this happened, I remembered much of it .

I am so sorry this happened, I remembered much of it .

We have never forgotten how Wonderful Pistachios ran an ad starring Bristol Palin's baby daddy, Levi Johnston:

We are never going to forgive Wonderful Pistachios for this: https://t.co/y5itKL2sW7

It links to an ad where the announcer shows Johnston eating a pistachio with a bodyguard nearby, as the announcer tells us that 'Levi Johnston does it with protection.' Get it?! It's funny because in real life he knocked up a teenager. *eye roll* 

The treatment of Sarah Palin since 2008 should nullify ANY and ALL pearl clutching about decency towards women or special needs children forever, full stop. Selective morality is a cancer. All of the finger pointing and outrage, none of the decency.

100% ppl like @TheRickWilson only feel empathy out of convenience. Fake and a phoney.#TrumpVanceNowMoreThanEver

Trig is perfect and precious! God bless you and yours, Governor!

The moral outrage over the children of Vice Presidential candidates is definitely two-tier. https://t.co/9UZmASp7zH

Indeed. 

Trending on Twitchy Videos

[unhingedwomandiaries]

I'm going to fold up my stupid bike, which is this annoying contraption that looks like something invented by a stoned mechanical engineer from Amsterdam. I totally underestimated how insanely heavy this collapsible monstrosity would be once it was all crumpled into foldable form. It was like trying to carry a passed-out sumo wrestler while wearing roller skates. But I managed to lug the dead weight across the street to the bus stop, flat tires and all, because that's just how I roll.

There's already some dude waiting there, probably pondering life's deepest mysteries like whether those bendy straws are really worth the environmental cost. Five minutes pass, and he looks at me with this vaguely constipated expression and asks, "Hey mate, when's the bus coming?" Without missing a beat, I calmly reply, "Three minutes, give or take." Dude does not like that answer, because he immediately storms off in a huff like his mom just told him he can't have a puppy. Literally two seconds later, the bus shows up. It would've been deeply satisfying to call out, "Hey numbnuts, there's your bus!" But I'm too busy trying to figure out how to Superman-lift this automotive Rubik's Cube nightmare onto the vehicle.

An hour later, I'm at the retail park, unfolding the bike and coasting it over to the Halfords while trying not to get run over by a stampede of middle-aged guys buying new car batteries. I roll up to the counter and explain to the clerk that I'd paid online for some bronze-level tuneup package. The cycling section is located on the second floor, with exactly zero elevators. There's no way in hell I'm hauling this two-wheeled demon up those stairs, unless I want to end up in traction. So the dude radios someone to give me a hand. 

We go through this whole clown-car routine, just for the bike tech to look at my velocipede and say, "Yeah, both your inner tubes are blown. See that hole? I can't actually fix this because it's an e-bike you didn't buy here." I'm like, "That's not mentioned anywhere on your website, mate." He hits me with, "I know, and I deny service to people ALL THE TIME for the same dumb reason. Liability and all that." I point out that the battery is uninstalled and as uncharged as Dan Quayle's lucidity...but he's not having it.

The employee takes responsibility for my disappointment by handing me back the bike and telling the cashier - who is roughly 18 years old - to refund me. The kid then proceeds to make a ham-fisted production out of asking for details and radioing someone about proper protocols. I just wanted to take the damn bike and go. Eventually, the kid lets me leave without so much as a "Thanks for stopping by!"

Whatever, at least I get my refund quickly. I haul the accursed machine to a local bike shop that the Halfords guy recommended. This place is refreshingly huge and well-stocked. The lady at the counter is all smiles and discounts for being a new customer, unlike the colicky infant at Halfords. Leaving the bike in their trustworthy hands, I ask about their online presence. Turns out they've been in business for 37 years and still can't SEO their way out of a wet paper sack. Go figure.

Anywho, with unexpected free time, I swing by a store and grab a four-leaf clover plant because...why not? Not that it matters - the thing cost, like, 30 pence. From there, it's off to Iceland for the type of disturbingly-unique frozen fare that would make Henry VIII loosen his codpiece. The day concludes with katsu curry pizza and "vegan" chicken wings that could hypothetically burn through the hull of a battleship. What. A. Day.

[teddybeartoji]

BANGERS ON BANGERS!

ılıl A BLOODY MAKEOUT 🔀

─ deftones, korn, she wants revenge, type o negative, massive attack, slipknot, the prodigy, rammstein, metallica, muse and more.

ılıl COCK BITER 🔀

─ sexyy red, megan thee stallion, lady gaga, city girls, rihanna, flo milli, rico nasty, ice spice, kim petras and more.

ılıl #BOYBOSS 🔀

─ ice spice, ludacris, p!nk, black eyed peas, megan thee stallion, lmfao, daddy yankee, kim petras, psy, nsync and more.

ılıl FLESH AND BLOOD; I WANT YOU SO 🔀

─ deftones, mitski, boy harsher, she wants revenge, elita, ado and more.

ılıl THE DAWN HAS NEVER LOOKED MORE BEAUTIFUL

─ emile mosseri, take care, mitski, alex g, the smiths, tv girl, son lux and more.

ılıl SONGS TO LISTEN TO WHEN YOU'RE BLEEDING OUT IN THE SNOW 🔀

─ flatsound, father2006, wishing, c418, the lonely tree, lloyd vaan, tilekid and more.

ılıl MEN IN SUITS STROLLING THROUGH A CASINO. THEY ARE NOT PLANNING ON ROBBING THE PLACE BTW. 🔀

─ daniel pemberton, nina simone, bee gees, the dust brothers, david holmes, cream, david bowie, seatbelts, teddybears and more.

ılıl I AM A FAKE-BROODING DETECTIVE, WHO TRIPS OVER THEIR OWN FEET. YES, I CAN LIGHT THIS FUCKING CIGARETTE ON MY OWN. FUCK, I CAN'T. PLEASE, HELP ME. I AM VERY COOL. MY SUSPECT IS GETTING AWAY. I AM A FUCKUP. I AM A HERO. I WILL LIVE ON DESPITE EVERYTHING. 🔀

─ nima fakhrara, hans zimmer, daniel pemberton, john williams, trent reznor & atticus ross, the dust brothers, alexandre desplat and more.

ılıl WHAT LURKS IN THE SHADOWS 🔀

─ aphex twin, tanya tagaq, colin stetson, goblin, inca ore, mica levi and more.

ılıl "BLINDED BY THE LIGHT" SOUNDTRACK 🔀

─ toji fushiguro x gn!reader; apocalypse au + playlist includes artists like jed kurzel, gustavo santaolalla, mac quayle, ben salisbury & geoff barrow and more.

ılıl "I HUNGER TO COMMIT THE ACT OF TOUCH" SOUNDTRACK 🔀🚫

─ satoru gojo x gn!reader; royalty au + playlist includes artists like hans zimmer, gustavo santaolalla, emile mosseri, ethel cain, mitski, alex g, duster and more. (here's the original post with the songs.)

[legends-of-time]

Thorn Bush (Doctor Who Story)

Chapter 4: Robot of Sherwood

Masterlist

Kathy was left to explain to Ashildr that she is a Human-Mire hybrid and is practically immortal as the repair kit will keep fixing her and so she'll be functionally immortal barring accidents. Like with her son, Kathy keeps in contact with Ashildr over the next few centuries. She cannot remember everything that happens so Kathy often tells her the stories of what they have done together, for example, when she became a medieval queen and Kathy had to help her fake her death and then get out of the coffin and out of the window. Though Kathy told her that perhaps she should write her life down so that she can look back and what she has done.

Kathy introduced Carlyle to Ashildr after the medieval queen incident and it is not long before she sees a spark between them. They have been together ever since if you don't count their off years when they argue and do not talk.

In their spare time, Carlyle, Ashildr and Kathy went with a different group of Vikings and they reached the new world, what will one day become the United States of America. She was quite excited to explore further than Europe as she hadn't been able to go beyond the continent in her last life. It was a mostly uneventful trip except at one point when they angered a leader of a local tribe. Long story short, Kathy ended on the other end of one of their weapons causing her to have to use that regeneration energy to heal herself. She couldn't help but wonder if there was a limit to this or it was different considering her added Human and Apalapucia genes.

Kathy didn't know much about the Doctor's travels through earth history before his ninth incarnation so she's often worried she might accidentally bump into him but thankfully that hasn't happened so far.

In the 12th century, Kathy decided to journey to Nottingham, England, particularly Sherwood Forest to meet another legend. She knows that in the Doctor Who world Robin Hood exists and that she'll meet the Doctor at the right point in his timeline. When she met them, they seemed a little judgey but she proved her worth with the arrow as she's had centuries of practice though she didn't tell them this. Kathy told them her name is Daveigh. She had arrived a few years before the Doctor and Clara turn up. It is stressful as she knows she can't stay too long as they'll get suspicious that she's not ageing. She found it fascinating to meet them and see more of them outside of the show.

——

1190 AD/CE

Kathy had witnessed Marian taken away from her village, away from Master Quayle, who is murdered, by the Sheriff and his men when out scouting and I hurry back to camp to report to Robin what she has seen. The scene reminded her of the Doctor Who episode so she knows that it likely has begun or will soon.

When she gets to camp, the raised voices alert her to the fact that something is happening, that and the familiar faint snap of the mental link.

"Let me introduce you to my men." Kathy hears Robin say. She peeks her head over the edge where the land dips down to the hideout to see Clara, in 12th Century clothing, and Twelve there along with the gang. Kathy smiles at the sight; it had been a few centuries since she had last seen them. "This is Will Scarlet. He is a cheeky rogue with a good sword arm and a slippery tongue."

Will bows. "My lady." They laugh though the Doctor then plucks at Will's hair and scans it with his sonic. "Argh!" Will exclaims. Kathy remembers the Doctor being a sceptic for most of the episode. "What do you want with my hair?"

"Well, it's realistic, I'll give you that." The Doctor says.

"And this is Friar Tuck." Robin continues. "Aptly named for the amount of grub he tucks into."

"You skinny blackguard." Tuck thumps Robin on the arm laughing but he stumbles as the Doctor grabs one of his sandals. "What are you doing?"

"This isn't a real sandal." The Doctor tells him.

"Yes, it is," Tuck yells, annoyed.

The Doctor sniffs it. "Oh. Yes, it is." Tuck grabs his sandal back.

"This, er, is Alan-a-Dale. He's a master of the lute, whose music brightens up these dark days." Robin says gesturing to the next man there.

Alan strums his instrument and sings, "Stranger you are welcome here, in Sherwood's bonny glade. Ow!"

The Doctor holds a syringe. "Sorry, sorry, sorry. Blood analysis. Oh. All those diseases. If you were real, you'd be dead in six months."

"I am real," Alan says, unsure of what is happening.

"Bye."

Robin gestures to Much, who is a large and dominating figure. "And this is John Little. Called Little John. He's my loyal companion in many an adventure." Kathy rolls her eyes knowing what he is up to and she's right as the actual Little John then appears causing Clara to jump.

"Oh!" They all laugh and Kathy joins in quietly.

"Works every time," Will remarks. Kathy decides to head down to them to say hello.

"Isn't there someone else?" Clara then asks.

"Here," Kathy says. Everyone spins around to look at her.

"Kathy!" Clara exclaims cheerfully. Kathy smiles at her but gives the gang an awkward glance as that wasn't the name she had told them. The Doctor is now frowning at her, probably cause she's buying into this 'false' world.

"Ah this is our loyal but sneaky and mysterious companion, Daveigh," Robin says gesturing to her.

"No way! You're Daveigh of Doncaster!" Clara says.

Kathy raises an eyebrow, "Well that's interesting to know."

"Another alias!" The Doctor complains. Considering this Doctor is younger than the one she had last seen; she must have a few names. "Why are you part of this?"

Kathy shrugs and gives him a smirk. "Why not?" He rolls his eyes at her.

Clara is extremely excited. "Oh, I cannot believe this. You, you really are Robin Hood and his Merry Men."

"Aye!" Robin cheers. "That is an apt description. What say you, lads?"

"Aye!" They cry, including Kathy.

The Doctor on the other hand is very annoyed. "Stop laughing. Why are you always doing that? Are you all simple or something? I'm going to need a sample."

"Of what?" Robin asks.

Clara clears her throat and pulls the Doctor away, "Excuse me. Sorry. What are you doing?"

"Well, they're not holograms, that much is obvious. Could be a theme park from the future. Or we might be inside a miniscope." The Doctor rambles.

"Oh, shut up." Clara hisses to him. She looks to Kathy for help but she says nothing and simply rolls her eyes at him.

"A miniscope. Yes, of course. Why not?"

"Or not," Kathy remarks.

"Your friend seems not quite of the real world," Robin says.

"No. No, he's not really. Not most of the time. Dark days?" Clara questions trying to move the conversation along.

"My lady?"

"You said that these were dark days. What did you mean?"

"King Richard is away on crusade, my lady. His tyrant of a brother rules instead." Will explains.

"And the Sheriff. Cos there is a sheriff, right?"

"Aye," Alan says. "It is indeed this jackal of the princes who seeks to oppress us for ever more."

"Or six months in your case." The Doctor remarks.

"It is a shame to dwell on murky thoughts when there is such beauty here," Robin says.

"Why are you so sad?" Clara probes.

"Why do you think me sad?"

"Don't lie, Robin, you gave yourself away when you began laughing too much," Kathy speaks.

Robin sighs. "You know, I do not live this outlaw life by choice. You see before you, Robert..."

"...Earl of Loxley." They both say at the same time.

"Yes."

Robin looks at Clara shocked. "Yes."

Kathy laughs awkwardly, "Oh Clara you say too much!" she looks pointedly at her.

"Sorry." She mutters. "Do go on."

"I er, I had my lands and titles stripped from me. I dared to speak out against Prince John. But I lost the thing most dear to me."

"What was she called?"

Robin startles. "You're so very quick. How does the Doctor stand it?"

"Marian?" Clara asks instead.

"You know her?"

"Oh, yes. I have always known her."

"It was Marian who told me that I must stand up and be counted. But I was afraid." Robin explains. "Now this green canopy is my palace and the rough ground my feather bed. Maybe one day I will return home but until that day. Until that day, it is beholden on me to be the man Marian wanted, to be a hero for those this tyrant sheriff slaughters."

"What time is it, Mister Hood?" The Doctor buts in.

"Somewhat after noon." Comes the reply.

"No, no. Time of year? What season?"

"Oh, Dame Autumn has draped her mellow skirts about the forest, Doctor. The time of mists and harvest approaches." Robin answers.

The Doctor dismisses this remark, "Yeah, yeah. All very poetic. But it's very green hereabouts, though, isn't it? Like I said, very sunny."

"So?" Clara asks.

"Have you been to Nottingham?"

"I did. Uni." Kathy pipes up.

"Was it like this in autumn?" The Doctor asks.

"Well, no but different time," Kathy says, dismissively waving her hand. She knows why the weather is off, she just needs to get the Doctor to realise.

"Climate change?" Clara suggests.

"It's 1190." The Doctor points out.

"You must excuse me." Robin interrupts. "The Sheriff has issued a proclamation and tomorrow there is to be a contest to find the best archer in the land. And the bounty, it's an arrow made of pure gold."

"No! Don't, don't go. It's a trap." Clara exclaims. He needs to go for the plot to move along and to save everyone.

"Well, of course, it is!" They all laugh. "But a contest to find the best archer in the land?" Robin chuckles. "There is no contest." They all laugh.

"Right, that isn't even funny." The Doctor snaps. "That was bantering. I am totally against bantering."

"Banter is bullying." Kathy quips unhelpfully, thinking about the talk she had at school about it.

"How can you be so sure he is not the real thing?" Clara questions him away from the others.

"Because he can't be. Right, Kathy?" The Doctor says rhetorically, expecting her support.

"No." He looks surprised. "But, hint, you're right something is wrong but it's not them."

"When did you stop believing in everything?" Clara asks, diverting the Doctor's attention.

"When did you start believing in impossible heroes?" He demands.

"Don't you know? In a way, it's rather sweet."

——

The crowd cheer as more attempt to win the golden arrow into the targets. Kathy watches it standing next to Clara and Robin, who is wearing a large hat and cape. The Doctor has wandered off but she knows he's only preparing for his overdramatic entrance. She doesn't really need to do much in this scene and they do need to be arrested to even start learning what the Sheriff is up to.

The Herald speaks, "In the contest for the golden arrow, after ten rounds, the battle is betwixt our Lord Sheriff..." The man waves a hand from his seat in the stand to muted cheering. "And the stranger known as Tom the Tinker." There is raucous cheering as Robin steps forward, bowing to the crowd. Kathy observes the guards surrounding the competition knowing many of them aren't human nor is the Sheriff, not completely.

"Take your places." The Herald says. The Sheriff walks down the steps of his stand to stand next to Robin.

"Shall we make the contest a little more interesting, my Lord? The targets seem a little close." The Sheriff collects his bow and arrow from a guard, a normal one. "What say you? Another twenty paces?"

"Why not?" The Sheriff waves his hand and a target is moved further back.

The Sheriff draws back his arrow, aims, fires and hits the target dead in the middle. "Now, Tinker. Let us see thy true face."

Clara shakes Kathy's arm excited. "This is tense!"

Kathy rolls her eyes. "Not really for though, is it? I know what's going to happen."

She tuts. "Don't ruin this for me!"

Robin draws back his arrow and fires, splitting the Sheriff's arrow. Clara jumps up and down cheering and Kathy laughs and joins her infectious cheering.

"Ye Gads! He has split the arrow! Truly, he is the finest archer in all England. Come forward, Tinker. And claim your prize." The Herald announces. Robin bows to him as the cushion with the arrow is presented. But as he reaches for the arrow, another shoots through the air and splits Robin's arrow on the target.

Kathy looks away from Robin to see the Doctor holding a bow and smirking smugly. She groans irritably even though she knew this was going to happen.

"I'm the Doctor. My skills as a bowman speak for themselves. I claim my reward." The Herald turns to him and kneels, presenting the cushion. The Doctor picks it up and after a moment says, "A mere bauble." Kathy shakes her head laughing quietly at his theatrics. He chucks the arrow causing the crowd to gasp. "I want something else."

"Name it." The Sheriff says daringly.

"Enlightenment." But as soon as he says this, Robin fires an arrow splitting the Doctor's. The crowd cheers.

The Doctor, realising the challenge, fires another arrow from a different angle and it pings off a guard and splits Robin's arrow. More cheers erupt. However, Robin doesn't back down and instead succeeds in splitting the Doctor's arrow without looking.

"This is getting silly." The Doctor turns and buzzes his sonic at the target causing it to explode. The crowd gasps and crouches in fear. Kathy, instead, rubs her head, feeling a headache coming in from all this showing even though it isn't all true on the Doctor's side.

"Fascinating. Seize him!" The Sheriff orders. The guards draw their swords.

"C'mon Clara!" Kathy exclaims, pulling over to the spears. She and Clara grab big spears each and huff as they drag themselves over to the Doctor.

"What are you doing? Put that down." The Doctor demands.

"I'm fine. I take Year Seven for after school Tae Kwon Do." Clara says.

"And I've had centuries of practice." Kathy defends. "With these skills, we are clearly going to save us all."

Robin has his sword drawn and stands between them and the guards. "Don't worry, Doctor. I'll save you."

"I don't need saving."

"Your honour is safe."

"I know." The Doctor mutters, irritated he's not being listened to.

"For I am Robin." He throws off his hat and the crowd cheers. "Robin Hood!" Robin is clearly in the running in beating the Doctor when it comes to over dramatics.

Robin rushes forward and engages the guard in battle. After a few clashes, Robin slashes the guard's arm and it falls revealing the machinery behind the chain mail. Clara glances at Kathy anxiously.

"Witchery! Witchery!" Somebody cries.

The Doctor runs forward and Kathy follows him. He picks up the arm. "Robot." It turns to him and opens its helmet to reveal a metal face. A noise of a weapon preparing itself with a purple light in the middle of its face. "Now we're getting somewhere." Kathy then hears him speak in her head. "You're right Kathy, something else is wrong too."

"Well, technically I said that it wasn't Robin and his gang that was wrong but something else. Not both!" She cries indignantly though it doesn't matter right now.

"Whatever."

"Take them. Kill the rest. Kill them all!" The Sheriff cries and the robot guards step forward and begin shooting. People scream and flee. The Merry men group together ready to fight.

"He surrenders!" The Doctor says.

"What?" Robin exclaims. Clara and Kathy simply put their hands up, going along with the plan though Clara doesn't know what it is.

The Doctor hits him in the stomach. "Hai!"

"You miserable cur. I had them on the run." Robin whines. He calls to the gang, "Flee, lads, flee! Live to fight another day!"

They are grabbed by the robot guards and the Sheriff orders, "To the dungeons with all of them."

Clara questions the Doctor and Kathy as they are led away, "What are you up to?"

"Quickest way to find out anybody's plans, get yourself captured." The Doctor replies.

——

"Splendid. Enchained." Robin complains as the four of them sit on the floor of their cell in chains that are attached to a few wooden posts.

"Yep," Clara mutters.

"Trussed up like turkey-cocks. Thanks to your friend." He whines.

"Shut it, Hoodie. I saved your life." The Doctor snaps.

"I had the situation well in hand."

"Long-haired ninny versus robot killer knights? I know where I'd put my money."

"If you had not betrayed me, I would have been triumphant," Robin responds. After this, they can't seem to stop and Kathy just feels a headache begin to creep up on her as she listens to them.

"You would have been a little puff of smoke and ashes."

"Oh, ha!"

"You'd have been floating around in tiny little laughing bits in people's goblets."

"Balderdash. Ha!"

"Oh, right, here we go. It's laughing time."

"Well, you amuse me, grey old man."

"Guard! He's laughing again! You can't keep me locked up with a laughing person."

"Oh, I find that, I find that quite funny. Do you know, I feel another laugh coming on. A-ha-ha-ha!"

"Guards, I cannot remain in this cell. Execute me now."

"You heard him. Execute the old fool."

"No, hang on. Execute him."

"I do not fear death, so execute away."

"Execute him. I'd like to see if his head keeps laughing when you chop it off!"

"Oh, Robin Hood always laughs in the face of death."

"Yes, rolling around the floor laughing, I would pay good money to see that."

The Doctor & Robin start yelling together, "Guard! Guard! Guard! Guard! Guard! Guard!"

Finally, Clara snaps, "Oh, you two, SHUT UP!" They fall silent.

"Thank god!" Kathy exclaims. "I was tempted to split my head open by banging it on the floor."

"No, you weren't." Clara retorts.

"You don't know that."

Clara rolls her eyes. "Do either of you understand, in any way at all, that there isn't actually a guard out there?"

"Oh."

Robin takes the chance to one up the Doctor. "I did, in fact."

"No, you didn't."

"I said, shut up." Clara snaps. "The Doctor and Robin Hood locked up in a cellar. Is this seriously the best that you can do? You're determined to starve to death in here squabbling."

"Well, I'll tell you one thing. I'd last a lot longer than this desiccated man-crone." Robin says.

"Really?" The Doctor says disbelievingly.

"Really."

"Jesus," Kathy mutters. How could she have forgotten how irritating this would be?

The Doctor leans over to him. "Well, you know what? I think you'll find I have a certain genetic advantage." Clara yanks the chain, pulling him towards her. "Oh!"

"It is not a competition about who can die slower," Clara says.

"They're men Clara. It's all they can do." Kathy pipes up.

"Not helping!" Clara utters.

"It would definitely be me, though, wouldn't it?" The Doctor says, reminding them of the other two's competition.

"There was supposed to be a plan. Do either of you two have a plan?" Clara demands. "I would ask Kathy but I don't think she's had a chance to think with all this squabbling."

Kathy sees Robin look confused then. She then realises she had forgotten that he only knows her as Daveigh. This is definitely going to help with how much he trusts her.

"Yeah, of course, I have a plan." The Doctor says.

"I too have a plan," Robin says though whether he is just saying cause the Doctor did or he actually has one, is unknown.

"Okay. Robin, you first." Clara orders.

"Why him?" The Doctor demands.

"Doctor, shut up." Kathy snaps. "Robin, your plan."

"I am biding my time."

"Thank you, Prince of Thieves." Clara sasses. "Last of the Time Lords?"

"Yes, I have a plan." The Doctor says smugly.

"Can you explain your plan without using the word sonic screwdriver?" The Doctor's smugness dims as Clara speaks. "Because you might have forgotten the Sheriff of Nottingham has taken your sonic screwdriver, just saying. It's always the screwdriver."

"Okay, let, let, let, let's hear Robin's plan first."

"Oh, for God's sake!" Clara groans.

The sound of the door being unlocked diverts their attention.

"See? There was a guard. There was guard listening the whole time, I knew it. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Robin cackles.

A guard enters. "The Sheriff himself commanded me to listen, to find out which of you is the true ringleader."

"Ah, so he can do the interrogating. Very wise." The Doctor says.

"Excellent. He will get nothing from me." Robin adds.

"No, no, no, no. no. He will get nothing from me, because interrogation, that's where I always turn the tables. You see, that's my plan."

"Just hurry up and take me to him."

"No, no, chop-chop, come on."

Instead, the guard unchains Clara and helps her up with his hand wrapped around her arm. Kathy lets out a snort at the two men's faces.

"Seriously," Clara says to them.

"Come on." The guard pulls her to the door.

"No." The Doctor whines.

"What are you doing?" Robin demands.

"Don't be ridiculous!" The door slams shut and locks.

"You only have yourselves to blame," Kathy tells them. They both grumble.

——

"I'm sorry?" The Doctor says in disbelief.

"No. Beat your breast. Moan. Groan as though twenty devils possessed your guts." Robin says.

"What for?"

"He thinks it'll attract the attention of that guard," Kathy explains. It's nice knowing what will happen, particularly when it's funny.

"Well, it's your plan. You moan." The Doctor states.

"No, no. No, it won't work." Robin decides.

"Why?"

"Oh, because you're clearly more advanced in years and you have a sickly aspect to you." Robin comments.

"I have a what?" The Doctor's face screws up to resemble an offended look.

"You're as pale as milk. It's the way with Scots. They're strangers to vegetables."

"Now you're being rude Robin," Kathy speaks.

"Exactly! So, with that attitude, you moan." The Doctor declares.

"Oh, like you have a better attitude," Kathy adds.

"Fine. If you want something doing." Robin moans loudly. "Can I rely upon you to do the rest?"

"Yes, yes, I know the drill." The Doctor mutters. Kathy nods in agreement. Robin continues moaning.

Guard peaks his face through the little window on the door. "What is this din?"

"No business of yours, cur." The Doctor calls to him and then speaks loudly to Robin. "Speak up. I can't hear you." Robin moans in response.

"What ails him?" The guard asks.

"None of your business," Kathy calls this time.

Guard enters. "I said, what ails him?"

"Well, if you must know, he's having a nervous breakdown." The Doctor answers. Kathy lets out a snort.

"A what?"

"He's like this whenever he's in any kind of danger. He just can't seem to cope. He gets so afraid. He goes into a kind of fit." Robin glares at him through his moaning. "I honestly believe that he may die of sheer fright, like some tiny, shivering little mouse." Robin lets out an irritated groan. "Oh, God, I think he's soiled himself."

"Let him die. It will save us the trouble of executing him." The guard turns away.

"And what will happen to the reward?" Kathy yells.

"Reward?"

"Oops," Kathy shrugs, "shouldn't have said that."

The guard rushes over to them. "Tell me!"

"He carries a vital message. The Prince has promised a bounty." Kathy explains.

"A big one?" The guard leans close.

"An enormous one." The Doctor adds this time.

Robin grunts, catching the guard's attention and he goes over to him. "What's that? Say again?"

Robin mumbles something. "What?"

Robin sits up and looks directly at him. "Your breath stinks like a serpent, has anyone ever told you that?" Robin's head hits him and the guard falls. "Soiled myself?" He demands.

"Did you?" The Doctor remarks. "That's getting into character. Okay, keys."

"I'll get them." Robin stretches out his leg.

"No, no. I'll get them." The Doctor stretches out his own. Kathy watches in amusement.

"I'll get them. I'll get them."

"I'm fine, no, no worries. I've got them!"

"I've got them! I'll get..." The keys rattle then fall tapping as they fall then they land in the water at the bottom of the cell.

"Well, there is a bright side." The Doctor comments.

"Which is?" Robin asks hopefully.

"Clara didn't see that."

"But I did!" Kathy singsongs.

——

They are able to get out of the dungeon but they are all still chained to one another.

"Now what?" Robin pants as they walk through a passage. He's carrying the weight that holds their chains together.

"First, a blacksmith's forge." The Doctor says.

"So as to remove our chains?"

Kathy rolls her eyes. Due to how irritated she's become, she seems to find every little thing annoying now. "Obviously."

"No. So, I can knock up an ornamental plant stand. Of course, it's so we can get rid of our chains. I don't want to be manacled to you all night." The Doctor snaps. Robin laughs. "Oh, no. Please, don't do that."

"Ornamental plant stand." Robin chortles.

"It's not even that funny." The Doctor complains.

"For once today I agree with you," Kathy says to him.

"You're an amusing fellow, Doctor!" Robin continues.

"Oh, don't! Can you just stop?" The Doctor snaps. The laughter continues. "You'll give yourself a hernia."

——

Kathy knows they are getting somewhere when they reach the door that leads to the spaceship the Sheriff is hiding.

"At last. Something real. No more fairy tales." The Doctor says as he walks in.

"What is this place?" Robin asks, gaping at the unknown world.

"A spaceship," Kathy explains. "People can travel in them."

"More twenty ninth century than twelfth. Data banks, data banks, data banks. Where was this ship headed?" The Doctor reads the information the ship provides. "The Promised Land again. Like the Half-Faced Man, but more sophisticated." Robin and Kathy walk over to watch the computer display how the ship disguised itself. "It disguised itself as a twelfth century castle. It merges into the culture, tries to keep a low profile, so no one notices. That explains the robot knights."

Kathy looks over at the glowing dome that is the engine. "But the engines are damaged. They're leaking radiation into the local atmosphere."

The Doctor snaps his fingers in her direction. "Of course! It's creating a temporary climate of staggering benevolence."

"I beg pardon?" Robin splutters.

"I told you. It's too sunny. It's too green. And there is even an evil sheriff to oppress the locals. This explains everything, even you." The Doctor declares.

"It does?"

"No, it doesn't Doctor, I keep telling you!" Kathy exclaims but she gets ignored.

"Well, what does every oppressed peasant workforce need? The illusion of hope. Some silly story to get them through the day, lull them into docility, and keep them working. Ship's data banks. Full of every myth and legend you could hope for, including Robin Hood." The Doctor continues. The computer displays images made on the legend.

"Isn't it time you came clean with me?" The Doctor demands. "You're not real and you know it. Look at you. Perfect eyes, perfect teeth. Nobody has a jawline like that. You're as much a part of what is happening here as the Sheriff and his metal knights. You're a robot."

"Doctor!" Kathy calls.

"Don't worry Kathy, I've got this!"

"You dare to accuse me of collusion with that villain, the Sheriff?" Robin exclaims.

"I dare."

"You false-tongued knave. I should have skewered you when I had the chance. Do not get me started on so called Daveigh." Robin cries.

"Hold on!" Kathy exclaims, holding up both of her hands. "I'm not the one accusing you of being in league with the Sheriff and a robot!"

"He wouldn't succeed in skewering me anyway." The Doctor declares. Before Robin can utter a response, lasers are heard and flames light up around the door, which collapses. "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."

Robots walk in with the Sheriff dragging Clara with him. "Surrender, outlaw."

"Very good." The Doctor casually says.

The Sheriff ignores him. "Kill him. Kill Robin Hood."

"You can drop all that stuff now, Sheriff."

"Doctor?" Clara calls. "Kathy?"

"He's in fantasy land, Clara." She replies. "I tried to talk him out of it."

"No, I'm not!" The Doctor exclaims, behind him, one of the robots prepares its weapon to fire at Robin. "He is not what you think he is. This is all play-acting."

Clara barges past the Doctor. "We can't just let them kill him!"

"I agree!" Kathy follows her. Hopefully, Robin will see she's still trustworthy.

"You're not fooling anyone, Sheriff." As the words are out of his mouth, the robot fires at Robin, who rolls out of the way.

Clara stands in front of Robin to protect him with Kathy beside her but he wraps his arms around her. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Surviving." Robin then throws himself out of the window they had been backed up against.

"No!" Clara cries as they fall.

"No! Clara!" The Doctor shouts. The Doctor, Sheriff and Kathy all go over to the window. There is a loud splash and no one rises.

"Yeah, sorry about the girl. Such a pretty thing. What a queen she would have made." The Sheriff walks away.

"It's okay Doctor. She's alive." As Kathy tells him this, Robin is seen carrying Clara out of the water at the edge of the moat.

The Doctor turns to the Sheriff. "Stop pretending. You and your fancy robots. I get it. I understand."

"Oh, so you too know my plans?"

"You and your robots plundering the surrounding countryside for all it's worth. Gold." Then he realises and clicks his fingers. "Gold. Of course. Gold. You are creating a matrix of gold to repair the engine circuitry."

"This is the scheme the Mechanicals have devised. Soon this skyship will depart." The Sheriff explains. "Destination, London. There I will obliterate the King and take my rightful place as ruler of this sceptred isle."

"Why does the bad guy always tell you their whole plan?" Kathy calls to the Doctor.

"I don't know but it sure is handy." Comes the reply. Out loud he says, "It won't work. There's not a chance. I've seen the instruments. There's been too much damage. You are stoking up a gigantic bomb!"

"Shush." The Sheriff then points to the side and they see the fist of a robot coming towards us. Oh, she had forgotten about that.

——

They wake up in the lower part of the castle in chains and on the floor.

"Engine capacity at forty eight percent." A man screams. "Engine capacity at forty eight percent." Kathy sees gold shaped to fit the ship being carried around.

"It's not enough. That's not enough. It'll never make orbit." The Doctor mutters. People wail, there is a small explosion, electrical pulsing.

"Yep," Kathy replies, wiggling into a sitting position. "And that's the engines, building in power."

"Ah. Stupid, stupid Sheriff." He grunts pulling at his chains. "Argh! Go on, give! Give, you stupid things. Why didn't you tell me this would happen?"

"I forgot," Kathy says sheepishly.

"Well, that's stupid." She rolls her eyes. The Doctor strains at his chains but collapses due to the effort. "What are you looking at?" He says to someone behind me.

Kathy turns and sees a very familiar girl staring at her. "Marian." Lunging towards her but due to the chains, she doesn't get far.

She smiles at her. "Daveigh."

"Of course, she's Marian." The Doctor murmurs irritably to himself.

Despite his grumblings, the Doctor is happy to explain the situation, with my help, to Marian. The woman is very receptive in listening to them explain what the Sheriff is actually up to.

"I think I understand you. The Sheriff's using the gold to replace something." Marian concludes afterwards.

"That's the principle. But he's a moron. If he tries to fly this ship, it'll explode and wipe out half the country." The Doctor replies.

"Exactly so what we need is a little riot," Kathy adds.

"Time to reflect on lasers and gold. Spread the word." The Doctor remarks.

——

A robot walks over to them. "You are fit for labour. Stand aside while these peasant units are freed."

"I'm afraid you're a little late." The Doctor says.

"Explain."

"We are already free!" Kathy cries as all of them show their free hands. The robot's weapon, which had been preparing, fires but Kathy grabs a gold plate next to her and holds it up in front of them. The laser reflects and hits the wall behind the robot as it had moved out of the way. However, they are ready when it fires again when Marian takes her turn in deflecting and the laser hits the robot in the head, destroying it.

They beam at each other and quickly stand but they are then confronted by another robot and more and more, however, they had been ready for this as every captive around them holds up their plates and they begin to fight back.

There is screaming as lasers shoot everywhere causing fires as well as the robot's destruction.

"Everyone, the last one!" The Doctor calls. They rush forward with their plates. They form a circle, which causes the robot's laser to fire around repeatedly until it hits it. Everyone cheers.

"Right out you go everyone." Kathy cries.

"Out, out!" The Doctor adds. The people listen and begin fleeing.

"You've saved us all, clever ones." Marion kisses the Doctor's cheek and hugs Kathy. "Thank you." She runs away.

"Engine capacity at eighty two percent."

"You are indeed an ingenious fellow, Doctor." The Sheriff calls to them, he stands a few metres away with two robots behind him. Kathy rolls her eyes. She helped as well! "But do you really think your peasants' revolt can stop me?"

"I rather think you're the revolting one around here." The Doctor says before muttering to himself. "I'm bantering. I'm bantering."

"Doctor focus." Kathy turns to the Sheriff. "Listen to us. You don't have enough gold content to seal the engine breach. If you try and take off, you'll wipe out half of England."

"Liar!" The Sheriff exclaims, holding one of the robots' helmets. "From my sky vessel, I shall rule omnipotent."

"You pudding-headed primitive, shut down the engines." The Doctor cries. "What you're doing will alter the course of history."

"I sincerely hope so, or I wouldn't be bothering." The Sheriff chucks the helmet underneath the pot of melting gold. He gestures for the two robots to come forward and likely grab the Doctor and Kathy.

"Listen to me. It doesn't have to end like this. Shut it all down, return Clara to me and I'll do what I can." The Doctor offers. He is seriously still on the same wavelength.

"I don't have Clara." The Sheriff tells them.

"Robin's one of yours." Kathy rubs her forehead, feeling a headache come on.

"What did you say?"

"He's one of your tin-headed puppets, just like these brutes here." The Doctor continues.

"Robin Hood is not one of mine." The Sheriff replies.

"Told you!" Kathy says to the Doctor.

The Doctor isn't detected. "Of course, he is. He's a robot, created by your mechanical mates."

"Why would they do that?" The Sheriff asks looking genuinely confused.

"To pacify the locals, give them false hope. He's the opiate of the masses." The Doctor explains.

"Why would we create an enemy to fight us?" The Sheriff questions- quite logically she might add. "What sense would that make? That would be a terrible idea."

"Yes! Yes, it would. Wouldn't it?" The reality seems to dawn on the Doctor then. "Yes, that would be a rubbish idea. Why would you do that?"

"Exactly," Kathy utters.

"But he can't be. He's not real." The Doctor mutters.

"But he is Doctor! We can't you get that in that supposedly big brain of yours!" Kathy exclaims, poking his forehead with her finger as she does so.

"He's a legend!" The Doctor is desperately clinging to his fading reality.

"Too kind!" They look up to see Robin on one of the upper platforms. "And this legend does not come alone."

"Hiya!" Clara calls, stepping out from behind him.

Robin and Clara climb over the railing, Robin sticks his sword into a flag draped on the fall and they both slide down.

"You all right?" Robin asks.

"Hell, yeah."

"Good." Robin disarms the Sheriff with his sword. "My men have taken the castle."

"No!" The robots prepare to fire.

"Now I'm going to take you."

"This one's all mine!" The robots wind down. "What do you say, outlaw? A final reckoning?"

"Oh, yes." The two face each other with their swords. Clara rushes over to the Doctor and Kathy.

"Are you okay?" The Doctor asks.

"Fine, yeah." Comes the reply.

"Told you she would be." Kathy reminds him.

"Well, we don't have long." The Doctor says. There's rumbling in the background.

"I shall avenge every slight, outlaw." The Sheriff cries.

"Doctor, Kathy," Clara says looking around concerned.

"I know. The whole castle's about to blow." The Doctor replies.

"He's right, we need to do this quickly," Kathy adds.

The Sheriff and Robin move around the room as they fight. The Doctor, Clara and Kathy stand and watch. Robin suddenly cuts the rope next to him and he is flung up in the air until he lands on an upper beam that is directly above the large pot of melting gold.

"I'm too much for you, outlaw." The Sheriff shouts. "The first of a new breed. Half man, half engine." He too cuts a rope and lands opposite Robin and their swords begin to clash with one another again. "Never ageing. Never tiring."

"Are you still talking?" Robin sarcastically remarks. However, the Sheriff gets the upper hand and cuts Robin's right arm causing him to let go of his sword and it falls to the floor in front of them. After a moment of silence, Robin straightens up and holds his arms wide. Kathy smirks as she recalls what he's doing.

"Bow down before your new king, you prince of knaves!" Sheriff lunges towards him but Robin spins so they are back to back and push the Sheriff into the car of gold. There is screaming then a splash.

Robin uses the rope to land back on the ground. "Sorry. Was that, er, was that showing off?"

"That was amazing," Clara says, but then rumbling returns, only this time it's louder and the walls begin to crumble.

"Run! Come on, run!" The Doctor yells. They all bolt from the room.

——

Robin, the Doctor, Kathy, Clara, the Merry men and anyone else who made it out gather at the edge of the woods as the castle falls apart as the ship takes off.

"It's never going to make it. Not enough gold. It'll never make it into orbit." The Doctor yells over the noise and wind.

Kathy turns to Tuck hoping to hurry them along. "Tuck we need the golden arrow!"

"You took it?" The Doctor exclaims as he takes the arrow and gets a bow.

"Of course, we did. We're robbers." Tuck replies.

"I love you boys." The Doctor says.

"Doctor, what are you suggesting?" Clears questions.

"Golden arrow. It might just be enough gold content to get the ship into orbit and out of harm's way." The Doctor explains then hold up the arrow and bow to Robin.

The man shakes his head. "No, it has to be you. My arm is injured." The Doctor raises them towards the ship but struggles.

"You're good at this. I saw you. You won the tournament." Clara encourages.

"I cheated. I made a special arrow with a homing device." The Doctor admits.

"Oh, brilliant. Right, let me have a go." Clara says taking them.

"You? You do Tae Kwon Do. That's not the same thing as this." The Doctor says.

"Well, I shall do it then!" Kathy exclaims and she grabs the bow and arrow from Clara.

"You?" The Doctor questions.

"I've had a lot of practice." She remarks as she aims the arrow toward the ship.

"Go on Lady Daveigh! Or should I say, Kathy?" Robin cries. She flashes him a smile as she lets go of the arrow and it shoots through the air towards the ship. It successfully hits it and the ship increases in power and shoots out into outer space where it explodes. They all cheer.

"One awful day in Nottingham, Brave Robin Hood was in a jam." Alan sings on his lute. " The arrow flew it true... "

Will steals it from him. "Give it a rest, Alan."

"Give me my lute!" Alan cries. They all laugh.

"Still not keen on the laughing thing?" Clara remarks at the sight of the Doctor's disgruntled face.

"No, no, no, no." Clara and Kathy laugh at him.

——

They return to the river where the TARDIS sits. Robin is giving Clara some archery lessons and says goodbye as the Doctor and Kathy chat to the other Merry Men.

"Goodbye, Kathy. Always good to see you." The Doctor says.

Kathy smiles. "Goodbye Doctor. Till the next time."

The Doctor nods and walks over to Robin as Clara has stepped inside the TARDIS. Kathy had said her goodbyes to her earlier. They briefly talk and shake hands then the Doctor turns and steps inside the TARDIS.

The metallic thrumming sounds as the TARDIS fades away. Kathy watches with a small smile on her face knowing what the Doctor has left behind for Robin. It full fades to reveal Marian.

"Robin? I've found you at last." They run towards each other.

"Marian?" After a moment they kiss and the rest of them all cheer. Robin runs to a hillier part of the ground and calls, "Thank you. Thank you, Doctor! Ha-ha-ha!" He shoots an arrow into the sky.

——

A/N: I based Kathy's name on David of Doncaster who, according to Wikipedia, 'appears only in "Robin Hood and the Golden Arrow". He warns Robin against going to the Sheriff of Nottingham's archery contest because it is a trap.' I thought it be cool to have Kathy be a part of the legend.

Please leave comments on how you're enjoying this story and what you think.

[andagii-writes]

"Indolent Marchioness" Excerpt: Bryony Quayle

I made good progress on "Indolent Marchioness" today and I liked how some of the characterizations turned out so I wanted to share them!

Tagging @davycoquette and @agirlandherquill. Anyone else who'd like to be tagged, please let me know in a reply!

(FIRST DRAFT, 412 WORDS)

--

"First I need a report, from either you or the count. Your domain's been in grieving--so what else has suffered as a result?"

"Nothing." There was force and emotion in Khloe Quayle's response. "We're handling things here just fine without you hovering over us."

"Even at the border?"

Khloe slammed down her pen. "Especially at the border."

Caias opened his mouth to respond to the challenge--I dare you, I dare you, to question my men's morale and resolve, I dare you!--sparking in Khloe's silver eyes, until a careful knock sounded at the door.

"Begging your pardon for the intrusion, my lady. Your Grace."

The gentle voice, like delicate petals drifting on a spring breeze, was enough to dampen the fight in Khloe's expression. Blowing a sigh through her nose, she leaned back in her seat, head lolled against the backrest. "Come in, Mother. Your timing's impeccable."

Mother. Caias stood from his seat and adjusted his jacket as a maid opened the door. There was no mistaking the kind elegance that glided in next. Lady Bryony Quayle commanded as much attention as ever, the spidery wrinkles at the corners of her eyes and the silvery streaks highlighting her braided hair only heightening her noble bearing. A woven, tasseled shawl draped neatly over her shoulders and around her arms, her modest, practical dress quietly fanning as she dipped into a respectful curtsy. "My humble greetings to His Grace Caias Hayden, Lord of the East."

"And my heartfelt greetings to you, Lady Bryony." After laying a light kiss on Bryony's hand--and grudgingly thankful for this very normal show of decorum--Caias laid a hand over his heart. He had, after all, noted the mourning flowers pinned into Lady Bryony's hair. "As well as my deepest condolences. My father and I only have the fondest memories of Lord Theridan."

"Terry was quite regretful he couldn't greet Wolthier one last time. He had nothing but gratitude for His Grace's friendship."

Caias couldn't help the smile that lit his features. Wolthier Hayden spoke of Theridan Quayle, from summer fishing to winter hunts, of spring soirees with their wives and autumn harvests with their people, with a warmth even Caias had rarely seen as Wolthier's son. Retirement had since softened the previous duke, with the news of Theridan's passing further heightening his resolve to become a kinder man and lord. "I'll be sure to relay that gratitude to my father. It'll help allay his grief."

[joeboesch]

Baseball or Politics?

Baseball or Politics? That’s the question I’ve been asked many times. As a young struggling sportswriter, I had the opportunity to cover some of the 1992 Presidential Election and the race to The White House. As a young reporter, and a young struggling writer, interviewing former Second Lady Marilyn Quayle was the chance of a lifetime. I, must say, it was quite amazing as her appearance, and my…

[perfettamentechic]

23 maggio … ricordiamo …

23 maggio … ricordiamo … #semprevivineiricordi #nomidaricordare #personaggiimportanti #perfettamentechic

2017: Roger Moore, attore britannico,  noto per la partecipazione alle serie televisive Ivanhoe (1958-1959), Il Santo (1962-1969) e Attenti a quei due (1971-1972), nonché per essere stato il terzo interprete di James Bond nella serie ufficiale. (n. 1927) 2015: Anne Meara, attrice e comica statunitense. (n. 1929) 2014: Mona Freeman, nome d’arte di Monica Elizabeth Freeman, attrice statunitense.…

[booasaur]

Counterpart - 2x01

I loved this! It’s so rare to see religion brought into scifi this way. Usually it’s a matter of religion vs science and how religion can’t stand up to the new scientific phenomenon so they completely deny it. And it’s always from a Christian perspective. This is so refreshing.

[cinemaocd]

Who wants to celebrate Trafalgar Day with me by watching Nelson Fanfic Film based on a play by Terence Rattigan and starring two of my favorite actors of all time: Anthony Quayle and Michael Jayston????

I will be watching at 4:30 p.m. CDT (the time of Nelson's death) and liveblogging.

[rockislandadultreads]

Perfectly Purple Book Covers: Romance & Mysteries

Find these books on Hoopla with your library card!

Fortune's Flower by Anthea Lawson

Miss Lily Strathmore has made a desperate bargain. One last adventure abroad with her botanist uncle and his family, and then she will do as her parents bid and wed the proper (and boring) viscount her mother has selected as Lily's ideal husband. James Huntington is on a mission. Retrieve his grandfather's lost journals from the wilds of Tunisia, and win the estate and fortune he so desperately needs. This quest will be the making of him--or his ruin. Thrown together on a botanical expedition, James and Lily's attraction is immediate, and impossible. Despite every reason to keep their distance, the two find themselves inexorably drawn together as they race to reach a hidden valley before their enemies can bring all their dreams crashing down.    

A Lady's Guide to Etiquette and Murder by Dianne Freeman

In this exciting historical mystery debut set in Victorian England, a wealthy young widow encounters the pleasures—and scandalous pitfalls—of a London social season . . . Frances Wynn, the American-born Countess of Harleigh, enjoys more freedom as a widow than she did as a wife. After an obligatory year spent mourning her philandering husband, Reggie, she puts aside her drab black gowns, leaving the countryside and her money-grubbing in-laws behind. With her young daughter in tow, Frances rents a home in Belgravia and prepares to welcome her sister, Lily, arriving from New York—for her first London season. No sooner has Frances begun her new life than the ghosts of her old one make an unwelcome appearance. The Metropolitan police receive an anonymous letter implicating Frances in her husband’s death. Frances assures Inspector Delaney of her innocence, but she’s also keen to keep him from learning the scandalous circumstances of Reggie’s demise. As fate would have it, her dashing new neighbor, George Hazelton, is one of only two other people aware of the full story. While busy with social engagements on Lily’s behalf, and worrying if Reggie really was murdered, Frances learns of mysterious burglaries plaguing London’s elite. The investigation brings death to her doorstep, and Frances rallies her wits, a circle of gossips, and the ever-chivalrous Mr. Hazelton to uncover the truth. A killer is in their midst, perhaps even among her sister’s suitors. And Frances must unmask the villain before Lily’s season—and their lives—come to a most unseemly end . . .

Bait and Witch by Angela M. Sanders

Josie Way loved working among the Library of Congress’s leather-scented stacks—until she uncovered corruption and made herself a target. As Wilfred, Oregon’s new librarian, Josie can stay undercover until the case goes to court. But life in this little town isn’t as subdued as she expected. The library, housed in a a Victorian mansion, is slated to be bulldozed. Still digesting the news that her safe haven is about to become scrap lumber, Josie discovers a body in the woods . . . Almost as shocking, Josie learns that she’s descended from a long line of witches—and her powers have suddenly sprung to life. With help from a spoiled alley cat who just may be her familiar, Josie’s thumbing through a catalog of suspects, hoping she can conjure a way to save her library—and her life. . .

Who's That Earl by Susanna Craig

Miss Jane Quayle excels at invention. How else could the sheltered daughter of an English gentleman create lurid gothic novels so infamous someone wants their author silenced forever? Fortunately, Jane has taken steps to protect herself, first by assuming a pen name, and second, by taking up residence at remote Dunnock Castle, surrounded by rugged scenery that might have been ripped from the pages of one of her books. Her true identity remains a secret, until one dark and stormy night... After years of spying for the British army, Thomas Sutherland doubts the Highlands will ever feel like home again. Nevertheless, thanks to a quirk of Scottish inheritance law, he's now the Earl of Magnus, complete with a crumbling castle currently inhabited by a notorious novelist. When the writer turns out to be the woman Thomas once wooed, suspicions rise even as mutual sparks reignite. As danger closes in, can Jane and Thomas overcome their pasts to forge a future together?

[thisbluespirit]

So it would be flippant and frivolous and maybe untrue to say James Maxwell had a massive crush on Dame Edith Evans, but regardless, let me tell you about James Maxwell’s massive crush on Dame Edith Evans. ;-p

I wondered why he’d left the US for the UK in the first place - his friend & fellow director of the Royal Exchange, Braham Murray, just says that ‘Max’ “fled academia.” I thought maybe it was the general lure of the Old Vic, but Tom Courtenay recalled that, “As a youth he had seen Dame Edith Evans acting in New York and realized he had to come to England and become an actor here.”

Due to WWII putting paid to cross-Atlantic gigs for British actors for a good few years, there’s only one performance by Evans he could have seen at the right age - Daphne Laureola on Broadway in autumn 1950.

Knowing that he started at the Old Vic Theatre School also in autumn 1950, I thought this couldn’t be true, but no!  It was just also a bit more dramatic than I’d imagined...

Daphne Laureola opened at the Music Box on 18th September 1950.  James Maxwell left New York on 21st September 1950.  That’s 2 days, max, from seeing Dame Edith to leaving for England.  For maximum comic effect, we may as well picture him running from the theatre to the boat in full evening dress and wiring home later, with a “btw I’m on a ship to England, see you next summer!”  (Probably not, of course, but it really is that ridiculous.  Assuming he did go home to gather his belongings, what exactly did he tell his family?)

He arrived in Southampton via the Cunard luxury liner, SS Queen Elizabeth on the 27th without so much as a forwarding address to give the port authorities.  He later said that, for him, that moment was a “homecoming.” 

Ironically, while Daphne Laureola had a very successful run in the UK in the previous year, the Broadway version that propelled James Maxwell across an ocean, fell flat with US audiences and critics and lasted only 56 performances.  “The notices were so bad,” joked Joe Murgatroyd (another of the imported Brits in the cast), “I was frightened of opening my dressing-room door on the second night.  I expected to find Martin Miller... lying in a pool of blood with a revolver by his side.”

The play, by James Bridie, centres on a young Polish refugee who becomes infatuated with the middle-aged Lady Pitts, the titular Daphne Laureola. 

What was it that caught James Maxwell’s imagination so powerfully despite the US critics’ disfavour?  Impossible to know, of course, but he wasn’t alone in being so strongly struck by her performance. Director Bryan Forbes (and Dame Edith’s future biographer) saw her in the UK, and recalled the evening vividly: “Nothing I had read about her, nothing I had hitherto seen, had prepared me for this moment.  I suddenly realised what all the fuss had been about...  Here was an actress at her transcendent best in perfect partnership with her material... Her technical commend of Bridie’s invective was a thing of beauty to hear and watch...  Better [not to analyse but] to surrender to the theatrical tides of emotion and drown in happiness.” 

Actor Anthony Quayle wrote to her afterwards: “It was as though you brought to the stage a mastery of your art which has now become so habitual with you that you wore it and forgot it, like a perfect garment.” 

Daphne Laureola’s run in the US was so short that Dame Edith was back in England in time to open the refurbished Old Vic on 14 November - where James Maxwell, now an Old Vic student, must surely have been present to see her.

He got to act with her at least twice on TV, in The Dark Is Light Enough (1958) and again in 1961 in Time Remembered (directed by his friend Michael Elliott) - and he was still quoting her in the early 1970s, in the only proper interview of his I’ve yet found.

 Coincidently, the last play that James Maxwell directed before his death in 1995 was The Importance of Being Earnest for the Royal Exchange - with his wife Avril Elgar as his very own Lady Bracknell!

[Sources: top images - Edith Evans in Daphne Laureola, 1949, National Portrait Gallery & James Maxwell in 1949, Amherst College Yearbook; Braham Murray, The Worst It Can Be Is A Disaster & Tom Courtenay Dear Tom; Internet Broadway Database; ancestry.com Passenger Lists; ancestry.co.uk, passenger lists; www.britannica.com ship image; James Maxwell’s Obit, The Times, 1995; Bryan Forbes, Ned’s Girl; Birmingham Daily Post, 1972 + Playbill image taken from eBay listing]