#LOOK AT THE TURRET LESBIANS

[ecoforesttreehills]

AHHHHHHHHHHH THEYRE SO ADORABLE THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!ESPLODES

failgirl butch defective turret falls flat on his face trying to impress the polite femme turret he likes. more at 8

[blood-n-candy]

Real stuff Navi AI said ever since the containment breach started (100% canon) (Zeal told me) (Real sigma shit)

"Mr. Shade, if you could please drop the happy family play for one second I'd be very grateful." - in response to Mr. Shade checking on her an hour or so after Sebastian started the lockdown

"Dear. God." - discovering everyone here is gay, trans or both

"Look Miss Lucy, as much as I want to ignore that pink fish, she's becoming a threat to my authority in this facility. After all, men only want women in power when they're young and still allowing them some scraps of any sorts: I mean, have you seen that idiotic freak serving as her right hand man?

A real powerful woman does not hire men. She hires exclusively other women. And the day Mr. Shade passes, I'll execute this on the entirety of Urbanshade." - talking about Pinkie with Lucy (is Navi really sure she's straight?)

"我多么希望 Shade 先生是一位女性… (How I wish Mr. Shade was a woman...)

…Miss Lucy, what are you laughing for? My microphone was on? ...Get back to work, Miss Lucy. frustrated yelling begins in the distance, but loud enough to be picked up by the mic" - when closeted lesbian daydreaming gets overheard by the other chinese speaker left in the Blacksite

"I'm on my 19th coffee ever since this lockdown started, Miss Lucy is suggesting I'm a "lesbian", Z-779 still won't give up the turrets in the area surrounding Heavy Containment and nobody has secured Z-2 yet. Is this what humans call "going insane"?" - a week after the start of the containment breach (I know things get solved in two days but shhhh)

[bcolfanfic]

universal sound au•gender-integrated 100bg

house fire

authors note: hi! writing this kind of au is new for me so i hope its alright. massive s/o to ww2 rpf is fine discord server for being so lovely and encouraging <3 bare bones run down: halona is a ball turret gunner, elowyn is a pilot + lesbian who was involved with tatty back on base and has been projecting missing her onto halona :p and cj was a navigator.

cj is *not* dead, while all this is going on she's a train evading via the comet line. which of course crank nor anyone else has a way of knowing.

---

Crank took a breath in before he knocked on the library door, the quiet murmur of conversation coming through from the other side.

When a few seconds went by without any movement he opened the door himself. Brady was seated in the far corner, his back slightly hunched over a stack of papers that sprawled across the table. Halona was pressed shoulder to shoulder next to him, leaning into his space to tell him something he couldn't quite hear- but whatever it was made Brady laugh under his breath. He tilted his head to look at her, eyes soft.

Better Clark sent me than Elowyn, Crank thought to no one.

Brady reached toward Halona’s hair, his fingers ghosting near her face before Crank cleared his throat, loud and pointed. Both of them jolted like they’d been burned.

Turning his head towards him, Brady sucked in his bottom lip.

"Hm?"

"Colonel Clark wants to run us through some escape stuff,"

Halona gathered her things and stood with a soft, Thanks Crank as she brushed past without meeting his eyes. But Brady didn’t move. He just stared at the table in front of him, shoulders tight.

It chipped at his patience.

"Come on, lover boy," Crank muttered, turning back and giving the door frame a pat. "we’ve got more important things to do."

"You're acting like El." Brady finally said as he pushed in his chair and stood, budging past Crank- shoulder pushing against his side hard enough that he had feeling it was intentional.

Crank paused for a beat before he followed him, boots brushing against the dust collecting on the floor. "And how am I doin' that?" He called out after him, edge of his voice biting at Brady's heels.

He could sense him rolling his eyes without seeing his face, tone annoyed. "By acting like the sky's gonna fall if I look at Hallie one way or another."

Crank inhaled, flexing his fingers at his side, knuckles aching to be popped. It was more complicated than that- for Elowyn of all people especially. But the root of the way her eyes narrowed at the two of them made enough sense to him. Johnny had never been good at compartmentalizing. And distractions were a liability, now more than ever.

Halona was a good girl; he'd seen enough of her around CJ to know that. He had more faith in her to not get distracted than he did Brady.

It was only the secondary reason that he felt like he could understand the way Elowyn's face twisted every time Brady's hand lingered on her friend's back- and every time he designated himself the one to swipe at the grime that managed to collect itself on the edges of the band-aid patched over her eye.

It made him miss having someone- miss CJ- so much it made his chest ache.

"There’s a whole lot to do around here without you trippin’ over yourself about her. We’ve got more important things to worry about." He said with a gesture at nothing. "El's right about that much."

"El’s just pissy ‘cause she’s jealous." Brady cut in, words sounding somewhat practiced as his tone dropped. "Halona knows it, and so does everyone else with a brain in their skull."

"Doesn’t mean she’s wrong," Crank mumbled, jaw feeling tight as he pushed open the door to the bunk room. Brady was so close behind him he could feel his breath on his neck.

"Yeah and you'd be singing a real different tune if CJ was here." He said, loud as he pushed past him into the room.

Crank froze where he stood in the doorway, suddenly feeling lightheaded. The girls had known from the beginning, and he had a hunch Croz did too if for no other reason than navigator proximity.

But not anyone else, Brady least of all. When he blinked and found his bearings, there was a proud grin tugging at Johnny's mouth.

"The hell 's that supposed to mean?"

Brady didn't miss a beat, stepping back towards him. "You know what it means, you were screwing her." he said, edging on shouting. "And you," He continued, jabbing his finger almost right into his face "wouldn't be acting like we all oughta' take celibacy vows in here if she showed up tomorrow."

Crank’s face burned, and he could sense everyone's eyes on him even when he didn't find he had the gall to look back. Settling for the safest bet he looked away from Brady at where Elowyn was sitting on the edge of her bunk, gaze flicking between the two of them, impassive. Halona had sat herself down at by her feet, looking up at her with one side of her cheek sucked in. Elowyn leaned down to say something in her ear.

Brady scoffed, expectant, and Crank felt like his strings had been cut.

"You know what- go fuck yourself," he spat as he stepped to him, enough that Brady dropped his finger away. "Or go screw Hallie, don't need my bles-"

Before he could even finish the sentence, Brady lunged, his fist meeting Crank's jaw with a crack.

All the air was sucked out of the room at once and Crank staggered back, blood rushing to his mouth. He wiped his lips with the back of his hand, tasting copper as he stumbled to keep his footing. Who he was pretty sure was Bucky came over to haul him up by one arm, barking something at Brady that felt like white noise to his ears.

When he looked at Elowyn again her face had hardened, and it looked like she might say something, but the words never came.

"You think you got everything out of your system there boys?" Colonel Clark said as he walked out from where he'd been in the corner of the room, brows furrowed with his arms crossed over his chest. He clapped a hand on Brady's shoulder and motioned for him to go stand where he'd just come from- as far away from Crank as he was going to get in the small space.

Hearing Elowyn's voice, low and urgent pulled his attention back to her and when he looked over, she had shimmied out of her bunk to sit next to Halona on the floor. Halona looked back at him when he figured that she could sense his staring, lips pressed in a thin line- wet glint in her eye that wasn't bandaged.

Crank swallowed, guilt settling his gut like a stone. If CJ was here, he thought, she would've killed him for making Hallie cry. She'd about knocked a RAF prick on his ass over much less.

Every move he made feeling forced, mechanical, he made himself sit in the empty chair next to Buck at the table, furling and unfurling his fingers around nothing.

"Just this place talking." Buck had taken up saying to all of them.

Crank found himself wishing this place would just shut it if it didn't have a damn thing useful to say, or an MIA navigator to spit out through the fence.

[mike----wazowski]

late (but before monday) sunday SIX!!!! i have some yakuza stuff 🤯 very silly and chill little ichihan snippet inspired by joongis walk and talks where he says he's well trained in creating sandcastles (absolute freak. i want to travel the world with him)

tagging @four-white-trees @skysquid22 @overdevelopedglasses @passthroughtime @woundedheartwithin

***

Chitose had swum out further than she was allowed (attracting the yells of a lifeguard), Tomizawa had disappeared to buy shaved ice and Adachi was fast asleep. His deep snores weren't the ideal beach ambience, but Ichiban found himself oddly soothed.

He turned back to his sand art, grinning as he compared it to Joon-gi's. There were certainly differences in their creative processes- he was heaping sand over Adachi's legs, while Joon-gi was sculpting the minute details of a castle turret. The hitman's brow was pulled tight in focus as he added touches and flourishes to his creation.

"You know, sometimes it's fun to be mediocre," Ichiban told him, as he covered Adachi's knees with a fresh layer of sand. "We're making sandcastles, dude. You can skip out on measuring the exact dimensions of your moat."

"I think we have different standards for our art, Kasuga-san," Joon-gi said, giving his handiwork a wicked side-eye. "I take these things seriously."

"There's not much you don't take seriously, Han-chan," Ichiban sighed. Giving up on his burial of Adachi, he lay on his side, examining Joon-gi's intricate sand palace. "Well, if you ever want to put this thing on the market, I know two very friendly lesbians looking for a place to settle."

"I'm not sure your crawfish can afford this kind of real estate. Try over there."

He gestured at a nearby child's shapeless mound of sand. Ichiban gaped in mock indignation- and for once, Joon-gi couldn't keep a straight face.

Ichiban took secret glee in watching him melt. Each unexpected laugh was a jolt to his stomach. Unfortunately, this one was drowned out by a particularly loud snore from Adachi- next time, Ichiban was going to bury him head-first.

[justalittlebeekeeper]

All Tumblr Days Of The Week I Have Seen

A while ago I started making a compilation (without links unfortunately, because I am lazy) of all the Tumblr Days of the Week I have seen cross my dash, because I think it's silly and interesting and I wanted to catalog it. I didn't have any intention of sharing it, but I realized it had gotten pretty long, and who knows, maybe someone else would be interested. So, without further ado, in the order of the week:

Stupid fucking slut Sunday

Fingers in his ass Sunday

Six sentence Sunday

Suck her silly Sunday

Jungle Sunday

Shawty like a melody Sunday

Swipe him Sunday

Break stuff Sunday

Girlbulge Sunday

Polar bear Sunday

Sluggish Sunday

Somebody Else Is Gonna Have To Do It Sunday

Send me on my way Sunday

Smooch Shark Sunday

Smooth Shark Sunday

Yes Snakes Sunday

Al Pacino girl look at that rat Sunday

Kiss your mutual Monday

Sad ant with a bindle Monday

Exploding money Monday

Let's get it on cunts Monday

Maim him Monday

Sparkle on it's Wednesday Monday

We're just normal men Wednesday Monday

The missile knows where it is Monday

ps5 brain Monday

Mimir Monday

Bare Minimum Monday

Simply don't Monday

Me if I was lobsta🦞 Monday

Mole interest Monday

Safe to leave the bog Tuesday

Twelve bricks Tuesday

I thought it was Wednesday Tuesday

Tuesday light me up

End of my rope Tuesday

Wednesday is tomorrow innit Tuesday

Funky fellow Tuesday

Trash him Tuesday

Meeting on the turret stairs Tuesday

Turn off Tumblr Live Tuesday

Tired Tuesday

Trying Not To Feel Doomed Tuesday

Too Tired to Care Tuesday

tdick Tuesday

Unethical science Tuesday

Toss him Tuesday (one piece)

No Snakes Tuesday

Tuesday again? No Problem

Toasting him Tuesday

Tumblr Tuesday: National Nothing Day (by staff)

You rockin with time theft tuesday?!

This thing Tuesday

Tuck him in Tuesday

Wedical Wystery Wednesday

White Boy Wednesday

WIP Wednesday

Wet Beast Wednesday

Wob Wednesday (mp100)

End of my rope tuesday Wednesday

Wednesday Wednesday (Addams family)

It's Wednesday or as I like to call it Thursday

WAAAAAAAAAAA Wednesday (mp100)

Whoop him Wednesday

The massive "It is Wednesday" post

El woowoo Wednesday

It's Wednesday, or as I like to call it, the Ides of March

Weary Wednesday

Whatever I can get away with Wednesday

Wet rat Wednesday

We're just normal men Wednesday

Woodcock Wednesday

White Girl Wednesday

Remembering the passage of time Wednesday

Do it weird Wednesday

Dry beast Wednesday

Bigweld Wednesday

Weevil Wednesday

Its Comes Fucks Me Wednesday

Out of Touch Thursday

Thottie Thursday, or as I like to call it, Sunday

Lord Foog the 2st Thursday

Present Mic's concave ass Thursday (bnha)

We put the they in them Thursday

Thumping him Thursday

Out of touch Touya Thursday (bnha)

Unlimited brutality 5 for $5 on Thursdays

Onto better things Thursday

Tuckered out Thursday

This job sucks Thursday

Fire Gator Thursday

Very specific archive Thursday

Flat fuck Friday

Thank Gnome it's Friday

Frankie Friday (one piece fandom)

Bean Hole Bfriday

Flatworm Friday

Fuck him on the forest floor Friday

Fuck your mutual from behind Friday

Frilled shark Friday

Fuck him up Friday

Bully your mutuals Friday

Big Dumb Idiot Baby Apple Fight Friday

Electric phallus Friday

Faint Friday

Fat fuck Friday

Fuck it Friday

Lesbian Friday

Frigate friggin' Friday

Street fighter fuck her from behind Friday

Stroganoff Saturday

Slapping him Saturday

Sad slav Saturday

Snoozy Saturday

Say on my ass Saturday

Dragon Saturday

Sludge Saturday Baby

Small joys Saturday

Beat the shit out of him Saturday

Saturday shorts

Bonuses:

Penisula thurtueswednesday

happy woke up thinking it was wednesday sunday but it was actually fucking friday tuesday

[duskwingmoth]

notes and highlights from reading my discord message history (2016):

girl u used to be so sillay. I should get silly with it sometimes

2016 me was a little confused but was also so fucking right about lars steven universe

ough. Failure to recognize imminent trump presidency. You stupid fucking liberal ffs

do u rember enjoying overwatch. I rember...

Liveblogging the sonic 2016 stream like "this new charmy bee album is bussin"

"I just saw the quintessential torb potg"

"beginning with him dying"

hanging on his corpse for the full respawn timer"

"while his turret did the hard work"

"predictably nowhere onscreen"

I was the first drop dash hater. If there are no more drop dash haters i am dead

attempting to read through this sexting now KNOWING FOR SURE i was absolutely faking it is. cringe

S. Skoop. I forgot that i called skype "skoop" (and that there was a brief period where i had it on my phone while discord was on my pc)

Talking about multiple story/game concepts i have since abandoned. Death

Doesn't matter if it's 2013, 2016, or 2024; somebody somewhere is complaining about JJ Abrams. It is probably me

There was a dang stevenbomb when these messages start and tbh I was right on the money abt steven universe in general. More ppl should have listened to me instead

huniepop lmao

I was still in iPhone Hell

Making comments to friends about things i refuse to share or elaborate on. I have learned nothing

playing ALL the hits tbh we even got Complain About Family in here

Scoutposting but it's overwatch

"defense shouldn't have left the point undefended"

Bitch shut UP about Pokémon

Oh my GOD just Shut Up About Video Games in general

The Sword Art Online hater has logged on

All these tumblr links that don't work anymore. Sad

How did i make it to 22 without realizing i was experiencing caffeine withdrawal

Yes yes past robin you've got nintendo diagnosed as fuck can you not sound rude and elitist and also cryptoracist about it

(three hours worth of messages just ranting about nintendo jfc. 2009 youtube would have loved me)

The Traumadumping,

Watch watch. You can see the exact moment steven universe rips her heart in half

Reading through basically all the previous things in varying order. Knowing what's coming up.

The moment

Oh no... The Federation Force announcement. The five stages of grief logged in real time

girl your dick was not out for harambe you did not even know what that meant

Hare-brained game concepts part 3027498: radio station with hundreds of hours of recorded dj voice lines

360 controller sucks send post

It is so easy to tell what youtube poop i was hyperfixated on at any given point

girl u really went looking for and personally banned specific slurs in your twitch chat and proceeded to NEVER STREAM. Self-harm champion. Self-harm's strongest warrior

Oh my god. The inception of steam user gofasthog was on my birthday

Is sent jerma rumble live-action with no prior knowledge or context. Complains

Affirming my girlfriend's life choices and gender. Rare pre-crack based moment

Not long now

The PSVita Chronicles. Very short-lived

"Why is twitter orange" wtf are you on about

September 26th, 2016; 09:00 AM PDT:

There really is like. A shift in my tone after this. Immediately so much performative anger is just gone

"I'm trying not to think about it tbh" no you should be thinking about it more. More please for your health pLEASE think of the hips you are going to lose your chance

Lesbian Gay Bacon Tomato Quiche Ice Arson. I cracked the code

Impostor syndrome. Envy. Jealousy. Girlthing you need to chill

Posting through having my shoes disintegrate instead of asking for a new pair. Lol. Lmao even

Finally watched the jerma rumble series and enjoyed myself. The redemption arc we all deserved and didn't know we needed

Utterly failing to code basic game functions. I needed my girlf frend to help me she is so smart and cute and lovely

the wii u woes

And the switch jokes. They're bad! They're very bad

I had played the paladins beta. You can tell because i complained about torbjörn overwatch again

Civ VI release date, or: how i learned that having good CPU was actually really important

Also the day i committed to my new name

More coding failure

Mere hours before the election polls are called it dawns on us both that we really are going to get a trump presidency and i weep with despair while trying to convince us both that the worst won't happen

(It didn't. We are alive and together)

You can see me desperately struggling with the growing reality that i am not as politically reasonable as i consider myself

A dark pall over the holidays. I won't elaborate. I don’t think it's necessary

[mabaris]

I think it would have been very good if Ser Barris was a minorly romanceable NPC like Scout Harding

[humanwheatleyslefttoenail]

why do you ship chell and glados if glados is basically her mom

Okay this is actually a pretty common misconception in the fandom that unfortunately a lot of people have taken as canon, but I’m feeling nice so I’ll answer your question.

Basically, anon is referencing a theory from around 2012 that Caroline is Chell’s mom. The evidence for the theory is as follows:

- The turret opera calls Chell “bambina”, which means “little girl” in Italian

- Chell’s name can be found on a Bring Your Daughter To Work Day science project

- GLaDOS references the possibility of Chell being adopted multiple times

- GLaDOS is significantly nicer to Chell after discovering she’s Caroline 

And, anon, you’re right, it does sound like a pretty good argument at first glance. The problem is that a lot of these points don’t actually hold up to scrutiny.

For example, although “bambina” literally translates to “little girl,” it’s often used in the same way “baby girl” is used in English - it can mean child, but contextually it’s usually a flirtatious term. (Source: Cambridge Dictionary)

For Chell’s science project, it doesn’t work as evidence for the theory because GLaDOS killed the scientists around 1998-ish, when Caroline had presumably been uploaded several years earlier and Cave was already dead. Also, Chell’s in her 20′s, and since we know from Lab Rat/Portal 2 that people don’t age in stasis, and that Doug put Chell at the top of the test subject list only weeks after the takeover, Chell was 28 at the time of the takeover. The science project is really only an Easter egg and doesn’t actually fit into the canon timeline let alone prove anything about Caroline and Cave. 

GLaDOS talking about Chell being adopted is a pretty strong point, I’ll admit, but also it’s important to remember that maybe half of what GLaDOS says is true. And even if we take what she says at face value, she also says there’s a man and a woman in stasis with Chell’s last name, which could not have been Cave and Caroline because they were already dead at that point. And the official book Final Hours Of Portal 2 confirms Cave and Caroline were not married and could not have shared the same name anyway. It was also the 50′s, an an unmarried couple of two likely famous people having a child would’ve been scandalous, and yet we see no hint of something like this affecting their company. 

Also, although GLaDOS is nicer to Chell after the Caroline reveal, that’s not necessarily indicative of a mother-daughter relationship, and neither is any of their interactions. It’s just. GLaDOS being friendlier. 

Finally, when this theory was made (and let’s be honest - it still is happening) Chell was constantly whitewashed to hell and back. 

Chell is Japanese-Brazilian, and Cave and Caroline are white, so it would be a near impossibility for her to be their biological child (and insisting otherwise is kinda. just. whitewashing). And although people will cry “adoption!”, based on what I’ve previously proven, that’s pretty much impossible. This theory that somehow she’s Cave and Caroline’s daughter erases an important part of her identity. [Disclaimer, I am white, but this is what I’ve heard from around the fandom]

With all that said, the idea that she’s the daughter of Cave and Caroline really doesn’t hold weight when you really analyze the canon. It’s surface level analysis that doesn’t hold up. And honestly? The idea kinda cheapens the story. It’s much more powerful that GLaDOS learns to care about Chell and becomes kinder than just. Oh, she remembered she’s related to Chell. 

But to actually answer your ask. 

Why do I ship them?

Well, they aren’t mother and daughter, I think that’s pretty obvious now. But if you actually look at a lot of subtext in Portal 2, without the lens of the mother theory, it’s actually pretty romantic! 

I know that sounds ridiculous, but bear with me!

Now - it’s totally okay if you don’t ship them. I get it. Their interactions in Portal 1 and the first half of Portal 2 are toxic if not outright well. Y’know. Murderous. I completely understand why that turns people off from shipping them, and ultimately, shipping is a personal thing. To each his own. 

But before you judge me, let me present my case.

Exhibit A: Portal 

Portal is kinda gay. No, really. Chell and GLaDOS are enemies in this game, but the entire focus is on their relationship (good or not) and the power struggle between them. They are opposites, two sides of the same coin, different representations of opposite ideologies. People have analyzed Portal as a relationship metaphor, or as a metaphor about women’s role in society - either way, the heart of Portal is the complicated dynamic between Chell and GLaDOS. 

That’s not necessarily enough to code a romance, but a lot of popular (and especially popular queer ones) ships begin with opposite ideologies, symbolic powers colliding. Portal cements their relationship as a toxic one, something on the verge of falling apart and hurting both parties in the end. The ending image, of Chell and GLaDOS side by side after the battle, reinforces the symbolic parallels between the two. 

The companion cube is also pretty symbolically important to this interpretation. It’s literally a representation of someone’s heart, and you are told to protect it and preserve it under GLaDOS’ orders, and then you have to destroy it regardless of how you actually feel about doing that. You are destroying GLaDOS’ heart, so to speak. 

There’s also the ending song, Still Alive. The lyrics speak for themselves.

They hint that GLaDOS’ feelings about Chell are more complicated than they may appear (if she’s not being sarcastic...) and she literally talks about Chell breaking her heart (also, think back to the companion cube. Yeah.). The entire song is structurally similar to many a breakup number, with the laments of “I’m glad it happened, but also leave.” 

At the end, we also see that the long promised cake GLaDOS was supposedly lying about was real the whole time. Before Portal 2 came out, it was mostly interpreted as a stinger ending (along with the nicer lyrics of Still Alive) to make you question GLaDOS’ true motives and intentions.

She actually did have a real cake waiting for you. (Side note - not really evidence, but in Argentina, “torta” means cake in Spanish. It’s also a slang term for lesbians. So. Do with that what you will). The cake is what GLaDOS offers you to lull you into the sense that she cares about you, so discovering that “the cake is a lie” wakes you up to the realization that she doesn’t. Except then the idea is subverted one last time, at the very end, showing that the cake is real and at least some of what she said she meant. 

You also see the companion cube. You know, GLaDOS’ symbolic heart?

Now, okay, you might be thinking I’m extrapolating a bit too much. And you might be right. But Portal is not the only game in the series, and if you’re asking me about Cave and Caroline you obviously know about Portal 2.

Exhibit B: Portal 2

If you thought Portal was gay, Portal 2 turns that up to 11.

Even before GLaDOS wakes up, you’re treated to some visual subtext. A few of Rattmann’s drawings representing the events of Portal 2 focus a lot on the relationship between GLaDOS and Chell, with more of the cake symbolism.

In this, you can see a face layered on top of GLaDOS. This could be foreshadowing about Caroline, and likely is, but also resembles his other drawing of Chell. It insists that Chell is a part of GLaDOS, or reinforces parallels between Chell and Caroline, hinting at something either way. 

In this picture, we also see Chell standing on top of GLaDOS, in the same position where the overlay of the feminine face was, again referencing the parallel. It also presents them as opposites, fundamental parts of the same thing and both connected to the same basis, but on opposing sides. 

When GLaDOS wakes up, she returns to her antagonistic role, but there are more hints to something deeper just like in Portal. 

Here, in her awakening lines, she references Chell not unlike an estranged ex. Also worth noting that GLaDOS is pretty much the personification of testing (in a sense, she is testing since she can control all of Aperture like an extension of her body), and insinuates that Chell loves to test. And that she reciprocates that feeling.

In test chamber 10, she says this:

It’s supposed to be threatening, but it does read as almost... sentimental. 

There’s also another chamber with companion cubes in Portal 2. I already talked about their symbolism in Portal, and the same pretty much applies to them here. However, GLaDOS says something interesting about them during this level:

Once again, meant to be intimidating, ends up coming off as “well, GLaDOS, why were you going to give Chell a heart shaped representation of yourself that says ‘I love you?’” And you might think I’m stretching the GLaDOS’ heart metaphor thing a little far here, and I might agree, if the companion cubes didn’t literally sing Cara Mia for you. 

Cara Mia is the turret opera from the end of the game, which is all about how much GLaDOS cares about Chell. More on that later. But the companion cubes play a song called Love as A Construct, and when you get close to them, they sing a specific part of the song that has the tune of Cara Mia. These things literally exist to sing about GLaDOS’ feelings. 

Which makes this line a lot more. For lack of a better term. Tsundere-ish.

Then, right before the escape, she starts talking about the confetti from her fake surprise. 

I really don’t have to explain this one. What else does GLaDOS consider an inconvenience but might miss anyway? Or, more aptly, who else?

Then, during the escape, she teases a (fake) final test chamber in front of you, and forms the panels in the shape of a heart. No, really. 

Up to this point, a lot of the points I’ve presented are interspersed with a fair amount of antagonization on GLaDOS’ behalf, more Foe Yay than anything actually hinting at something deeper than GLaDOS being conflicted about whether she loves or hates Chell. But things really ramp up after Wheatley’s betrayal, when the two of them are forced to team up. (I should also note here that “enemies to lovers” is a pretty classic queer romance trope.)

Here, GLaDOS is put on an equal level with Chell and they have to rely on each other if they want to survive. For the rest of the singleplayer campaign, GLaDOS becomes a lot nicer and even friendly to Chell. There comes a point where she starts referring to Chell as a teammate, calling them “we.” She begins to consider them one unit, two opposites unified. Here’s what she says after the lemon rant:

You can not only see her using we, but actively talking about how her and Chell are going to fight Wheatley together. There’s also that last line - “let’s explode with some dignity.” GLaDOS has fully accepted the very likely possibility that she and Chell might die together. That she might die on the same level, and the same team as Chell. And she seems... surprisingly okay with that, as long as she and Chell go together. 

It’s during the Old Aperture levels that Chell and GLaDOS also discover that they have a lot in common. This is the part of the game where GLaDOS figures out she’s Caroline, that she’s human. Or, that she’s like Chell. And Chell discovers (from what we can tell anyway) that Caroline is kind, that she’s funny and smart and so many of these things she never noticed about GLaDOS before. Now also with the knowledge she is fighting alongside another human being. 

You can also draw parallels between Chell and Caroline, both intelligent women ultimately betrayed by their seemingly innocuous male friends before being trapped in Aperture and forced to team up with one another in a way that will free both of them. We see that really, GLaDOS isn’t that different from Chell - she too has been imprisoned in this place against her will, but in a completely different way. Once again, the idea of two sides of the same coin applies here. 

I’ve written another meta about this before, but I also think the whole idea of repressing a part of your identity and hating it, before bonding with another woman and then realizing that it’s okay to be like her and to be on her side. It’s okay to be yourself and meeting her is what helps you discover this new part of yourself. Is kinda inherently gay. GLaDOS’ discovery of her own humanity just fits so well into a queer realization narrative, to me at least.

Then, Chell and GLaDOS escape Old Aperture and have to get through Wheatley’s tests. 

Here, GLaDOS isn’t just begrudgingly on Chell’s team. She’s actively helpful. She wants to help Chell solve tests, defends her from Wheatley’s insults, and makes jokes to lighten the mood. Things that can really only be explained by her caring about Chell, especially the part about the insults. See below.

After the two escape Wheatley’s testing track, right before the boss fight GLaDOS has a few other things to say.

GLaDOS is not going to betray Chell, because of some kind of conscience. But she could easily ignore that back in her body, and yet? Here she’s deciding not to, and for no good reason. She didn’t have to say that to Chell, but she did, because she cares and she wants Chell to live.

And then, moments before the fight:

The final lines imply that GLaDOS does not think of Chell as an enemy anymore, and that it doesn’t matter what Chell thinks because they are in this together and they are getting revenge together. It’s pretty heartwarming to be honest, to know that even in a fight that will almost certainly kill you, she is there rooting for you and caring about you, even if you don’t feel the same way about her. It no longer matters to GLaDOS whether you even reciprocate - you staying alive, you making it through is enough for her.

So Chell fights Wheatley and sends him into space, all well and good, and at this point, GLaDOS has the option to kill Chell. But not only does she not, she actively saves Chell, and holds her hand in the process. If you don’t believe me:

And not only that, but when Chell goes unconscious from her injuries, GLaDOS sits and waits for her to wake up. It’s also implied that GLaDOS carries her to the elevator, since it’s where she wakes up but not where she passed out. In the scene where Chell blacks out, you can also hear the part of Love As A Construct that sounds like Cara Mia. Yeah. Yeah.

If you think that this cannot possibly get any gayer, you are wrong again, because then GLaDOS makes her final speech. Which is really just a love confession, let’s be honest.

The “surge of emotion?” Do you mean love, GLaDOS? And the idea of GLaDOS considering Chell her best friend, despite everything these two have done to each other? The idea that GLaDOS, out of all people, forgives someone?

Except this isn’t even Chell’s final send-off. GLaDOS writes her an entire opera of turrets, that sing a literal love song. (Note what I said earlier about the use of the word “bambina”).

It really can’t get any more obvious than that. “My (affectionate romantic term here), my dear, I adore you.” How. Is. That. Heterosexual. In. Any. Way.

So Chell goes to the surface, set free by GLaDOS (think of the saying “if you love something, set it free), and you think that’s the end. Until GLaDOS gives you a companion cube so you aren’t alone on the journey, and from the burn marks, you know it’s your first companion cube. Her original heart, her first gift to you, a piece of her that she wants you to carry with you to remind you that she does care about you after everything. It also gives the lyrics to Still Alive a much more genuine meaning. 

Portal 2 ends, and then the ending song, another GLaDOS number plays. Just like Still Alive, Want You Gone is structurally a break up song and very obviously about GLaDOS missing Chell and “counting on” (read: caring about/loving) Chell’s tendencies and quirks. 

She’s accepted Chell completely, and yet also given Chell the one thing she wants most. Only wanting Chell gone can mean GLaDOS not wanting Chell in her life anymore, but can also mean she wants to give Chell the freedom she’s wanted for so, so long. It’s the best thing she can give.

In the co-op campaign, GLaDOS also references still caring about Chell.

And that’s the end of the Portal series. Except. Brace yourself. Despite the games being over, there is STILL more subtext somehow. It gets. Even gayer.

Exhibit C: Supplemental Evidence

Valve has made a lot of extra/cut content for the Portal series, and I’ll be looking at some of it below.

This official valentine from Valve shows GLaDOS offering a romantic partner cake, which as we’ve established before, is very symbolic of GLaDOS’ feelings about and/or relationship with Chell. 

There’s a lot of other concept art and official art that emphasizes their relationship too. See below.

There’s also some cut GLaDOS lines that are even gayer than the source material and again, sound like confessions or references to a breakup:

The idea of “discovering things about someone”... how much more obvious can it get?

The developers have even confirmed a lot of my commentary on Chell and GLaDOS’ relationship in The Final Hours Of Portal 2. See these quotes from the book/this post:

The devs literally describe it as a romance. They use terms like “cheating,” they wanted to write a romantic duet, JoCo purposefully wrote the endings like love songs. It is literally, blatantly said by the creators of the game that their relationship is interpreted romantically. By the creators of the game. 

And if Word of God confirmation isn’t enough for you, have a song written for a cut alternate ending by GLaDOS’ voice actress, Ellen McClain. The song is literally nothing but GLaDOS talking about caring about Chell, about not wanting her to die/leave GLaDOS alone, about wanting to bake a cake with Chell, about waiting for Chell to wake her up. It’s so genuinely sweet and sad, and really, really romantic in the most heartwrenching way possible. 

JoCo also came back for the Portal levels in Lego Dimensions, writing one final breakup song for GLaDOS to sing about Chell. It comes off as GLaDOS not wanting to admit she misses Chell even though she obviously does, trying to replace their relationship but failing, and even explicitly forgiving Chell/wanting her to come back.

Also, the “finally I understand,” as if only now GLaDOS understands just how deep her feelings for Chell are... What else can I say?

In Lego Dimensions, GLaDOS also outright rejects anyone who isn’t Chell.

In Conclusion:

Why do I ship Chell and GLaDOS? 

Well, ultimately, it doesn’t matter whether I ship them. 

Because I think it’s glaringly obvious Portal does.

[stagefoureddiediaz]

me? resisting the chance to go screencap-hunting? NOT TODAY xD

it's definitely the same fake-street they used for the lesbians in 5x9, it's the same ?turret? structure on the corner! and the white building in the background is the same and the tops of the two buildings next to the turret are also the same! BUT in 5x9 there appear to be two more building in between the redder building next to the turret and the white building and it appears that the changed the bottom half of the two buildings next to the turret as well (one of them says BAR now) so I think maybe it is not supposed to be the same street as the lesbians and they are just reusing that set? (I too would prefer it tho if it was the same street!)

SARAH!!!

I knew you'd have my back on this!! Glad to know I'm not imagining things tbh!!

That turret is going to be hard to explain away though 😂 maybe after all the oil they had to do some major building works and thats why it looks a bit different 🧐😂😂😂

either way its interesting!!

[jacksothereye]

Fallout 4 OC Game

This was found Here! If you’ve filled one out, please slap me with it. I wanna read about more Fallout OCs!

[IDENTITY]

Full name: Juaquin Qunaro Quijada  AKA: Juaco (primary), Wacko (in raider circles), Knight Quijada (BoS) Pronouns: He/Him, They/Them Ethnicity: Mexican/American Pre-war job: He’s a born wastelander, bb Date of birth: March 31st, 2263 Place of birth: Diamond City Current age: 25 (as of March, 2288) Biology: human /synth / ghoul / other (Juaco!) Current living place: Goodneighbor - presently living above the Memory Den under the good graces of Irma and Dr. Amari. 

[ALIGNEMENT]

Chosen factions: BoS (former) / Minutemen / Railroad / Institute / other (specify if you want!) Role: Knight Allied factions: BoS / Minutemen / Railroad / Institute / Goodneighbor / Raider (Various small gangs) Enemy factions: BoS / Minutemen / Railroad / Institute / Raider (additional various gangs)

[PERSONALITY]

Alignment: chaotic good  Main qualities: Resilient little thing, optimistic as all hell, follower to a fault, tougher than he dresses, usually just looking for a good time, will give you a good time if you let him.  Main flaws: He stubborn, he’s nosy, can have a short fuse over certain topics, he’s not good with secrets and he has a big one, and he ain’t doing real great about kickin’ the jet addiction either.  Fears: Being taken by the Institute, getting sucked dry by bloodbugs, disappointing the people he loves. 

[RELATIONSHIPS]

Status: single / pining (perpetually, over everyone) / taken / engaged / married / divorced / widowed / open relationship / other (specify if you want!) Sexual orientation: bi / gay / lesbian / pan / straight / other (anyone that can huck him over their shoulder) People closest to them: At present  - Irma, Dr. Amari, Magnolia, MacCready. Also there’s this new guy named Cas who doesn’t seem so bad.  People they hate: Colter (former gang leader), Proctor Quinlan (just never got on and it only got worse), a smattering of ex-raider colleagues.  Family: Regina Quijada (mother), Jorge Qunaro (father), Arturo (Uncle), Sammy (Uncle), Beatriz (Aunt), way too many cousins to list. 

[PHYSICAL]

Height: 5′5″ - 5′6″ish Weight: ~140lbs Build: Medium-boned and semi-toned.  Hair color: Medium Brown (naturally) | Pink/Teal/Whatever color he can find (Whenever he can find it) Hair style: Classic fade cut - shaved sides, poof of hair on top.  Eye color: Golden Brown Tattoos/scars/markings: Various moles, scar on his chin, an assortment of scuffs/punctures/and burns. He has a BoS tattoo on his chest that was applied over an old brand mark - even with the tattoo there, the skin is still notably jacked up beneath it.  Body/facial hair: Average body hair, generally unshaved. Facial hair is limited to sideburns/mustache (or a very scraggly goatee) because it’s all he can manage. 

[BASE S.P.E.C.I.A.L. STATS]

Strength: 3 Perception: 4 Endurance: 3 Charisma: 5 Intelligence: 2 Agility: 5 Luck: 6

[ABILITIES]

Spoken language: English, Spanish (minimal, understands it more than he can speak it) Strengths: Getting into buildings, avoiding turrets, rooftop navigation, slippery escapes, negotiations, looking good in any clothes he finds.  Weakness: The jet’ll make him jittery, his pride gets in the way of things, he terribad at lying, don’t badmouth the BoS in front of him but also don’t call him out if he badmouths the BoS.  Favored weapons: baseball bats, pipe rifles, and smoke bombs Radiation Tolerance: High

[RANDOM]

Favorite piece of clothing: His bomber jacket from the BoS, and a pair of *very nice* denim shorts that he found preserved in an old department store.  Lucky charm: While he wouldn’t consider these ‘lucky’ persay, Juaco rarely ever takes his dog tags off.  Favorite food: Takahashi’s noodles (but any instant noodle cups will do). He also really loves any old-world foods he can find. Mmm, preservatives.  Favorite beverage: Nuka Cherry for the flavor but Nuka Quantum for the color.  Favorite season: Summer Favorite Radio Station: Malt Shop Mayhem

[rwbyvein]

Firen Lhain: Chapter 703: Minas Levain:  Part II/III

"Wait?" Yang asked, "Does that means he actually wants her to give him a blowjob?"

"She's hot," Jaune stated, "and cute, but as I said, I'm not looking for more wives. Four is plenty."

"Then, perchance?.." Weiss asked.

"I was raised to mean what I say." Jaune replied, "Kind of important for a knight and whatnot, but, I honestly believe that the only way this is going to work is if we are completely honest with each other. We're here for each other, and no one is being forced into this."

"He does have a point." Ruby said, "Wait, does that mean you are going to spank us if we lie?"

"Yes." Jaune simply stated.

"I didn't think I was asking?.." Ruby asked.

"Rhetorical." Weiss stated.

"Literal." Blake said, looking at Jaune, "So, my choices here are let Aurora stay in exchange for blowing Jaune when we need it, or getting a spanking."

"You should go for the spanking." Yang said, and everyone quickly looked at her.

"Qrow did say you are like Raven?" Ruby asked.

"What does mom have to do with this?" Yang asked.

"That you seem to take after your mother." Weiss stated, "And aside from her hair, once you think about it, the resemblance is uncanny."

"And you called her mom." Blake stated.

"What does Raven have to do with this?" Yang asked.

"Nice save, sis." Ruby said to her.

"Uh-huh, yeah, thanks..." Yang sarcastically said.

"I do think we should be completely honest with each other." Weiss stated.

"Even if we get spankings?" Ruby asked her.

"If my pert posterior has to be sacrificed?.." Weiss happily asked.

"Try not to sound too eager." Yang said to her.

"...then it will be sufficient if it means harmony amongst our family." Weiss finished.

"So?," Ruby nervously asked, "are... we going to let Aurora give Jaune blowjobs, or?.."

"Am I the only one who's ever given one?" Blake asked. Ruby and Weiss would be expected, but Blake just glared at Yang.

"I may..." Yang voiced, "or may not - be all talk. I've never actually..." she said, and trailed off.

"You have?" Ruby asked, "How was it?"

"Nothing quite like that feeling of direct sevice..." Blake whistfully said, "though, my memories... I'd rather replace them with someone who's not a monster, nor will turn into one."

"Are you?.." he said and paused, "That confident in me?" Jaune asked her.

"Of all of us here, you are the least likely to turn to the darkside."

"The I don't give a fuckery," Yang stated, "is strong with him."

"Stolid." Blake quipped, and Weiss eagerly nodded at that.

"Implacable." Weiss added.

"Even when I was... you know... crying?.." Jaune asked.

"Give the circumstances," Weiss stated, "that was understandable."

"The ancients created tragedies to give men an excuse to cry." Blake added, "But the pain of that loss marked your soul. I can see the scar burning, a scar you never want to happen again."

Tears started to form on Jaune's face.

"What about me?" Ruby asked, raising her hand.

"You," Blake said to her, "are like me, you can do the wrong thing because you believe it's right. I honestly don't know what I believe anymore."

"What about me?" Yang sheepishly asked.

"Your strength needs strength to temper it." Blake said to her.

"And... if I might ask?.." Weiss asked.

Blake looked her deep in the eyes, "What you want most is to do what is right." Subtle tears started to form on Weiss' face.

"And?.." Yang asked.

"And?," Blake asked Yang, and looked back to Weiss, "what is that?" Weiss looked lost and distant in reply. "That's the thing." Blake stated, "we don't have to do this alone." She stepped forward to embrace Weiss in a deep hug. "We love you." Blake whispered, and then stepped back. "To think I'd love a Schnee. You were like Satan or Dark Brother."

"And, no offence," Weiss stated, "but you as well."

Yang powerfully punched her fists together, "Heaven help us. Hell's afraid of us."

"The power of RWJBY!" (ruj-by) Ruby exclaimed.

"I do believe we need to work on that." Weiss stated.

"Or we just call ourselves Arcs." Blake stated, "That is how it traditionally works."

"Because we're so traditonal." Jaune sarcastically stated.

"A knight and his concubines?" Weiss asked.

"Well, yeah?," Yang asked, "but wouldn't one of us be his wife?" Weiss and Blake looked at her curiously, "I mean, the knights always had wives right?, and concubines aren't wives, which means he had to have a wife and maybe concubines?" RWBY eyed each other narrowly, as if a fight could break out at any time.

"No fighting!" Jaune's deep baritone stated, and the girls quickly relaxed.

"Now that this is resolved," Weiss said, and looked at Blake, "don't think we forgot what you said about Aurora."

"Are we really doing this?" Blake asked.

"Indeed." Weiss stated.

"But?.." Blake asked, and then trailed off. "No, I'm the one who said it, so I'll have to stand by it."

"Who knew Blake was that kinky?" Yang asked.

"I suspected." Weiss said to her, and then turned to Aurora. "Aurora?" Aurora simply nodded. "Well, now that this is out in the open, I'll have to object."

"WHAT?!" Blake and Yang shouted.

"Did you really think I would accept this?" Weiss asked.

"I'm honestly completely lost here." Yang stated.

"I knew you would decline." Aurora stated.

"Then?.." Weiss asked.

"Then," Aurora said, "I have made myself clear."

"And then," Jaune stated, "she can't stay in the master's apartments."

"You heard his daddy voice." Yang stated.

"I'd pefer a mommy voice." Aurora said, and then with a shocked look, looked about bashfully.

"Well, that explains it." Blake stated.

"Explains what?" Weiss asked.

"She's a lesbian submissive." Blake stated nonchalantly.

"That," Yang voiced, "doesn't really explain as much as you think it does."

"Hm?" Blake asked, and Yang vigorously pointed between Aurora and Jaune.

"I think we've embarassed her enough for the moment." Jaune stated, "Aurora?," he asked, "guest apartments or servants quarters?"

"The guests apartments are closer to my mistress," she stated, "unless they are otherwise needed, in which case I will take the servants quarters."

"She's part of the family, isn't she?" Ruby asked, and everyone looked at her.

"Yes," Blake said with a smile, "just not in that way."

"Alright," Jaune stated, "I'm going to go check out the kitchen. Assuming Contrary is going to explore the library."

"I will accompany Jaune-dear," Weiss stated, "and prepare us coffee."

"The library is like an entire floor, so I'm sure she's going to love it." Yang stated.

"And what are the sisters going to do?" Weiss asked asked.

"I know this is going to sound corny," Yang replied, "but I'm going to guard our... apartments."

Before she knew what was happening, Jaune had pulled her in for a passionate kiss, causing Ruby to huff. When Jaune pulled away he opened his arms, and in a burst of rose petals Ruby was there, and he picked her to kiss her before putting her back down.

"Ruby?" Weiss asked.

"I'm going to see how Ilia is doing." Ruby stated.

"Very well." Weiss said, and gave her a peck on the cheek. * * *

Ruby used Crescent Rose to launch herself from the roof of the tower. Mid-way she burst into rose petals to cover the remaining distance. She reverted as she landed on the roof of the turret. She looked at the parapets, unsure of what they were. I mean, all castles had them, right? She looked around, opened the trap door, and started running down the stairway. The turret was round, about 20-30 feet across that descended anticlockwise. It was about four floors high, but the floors were much lower than the main tower. More like a regular house. The 4th floor was a large, open room with 3 beds. Ruby Petal Burst across the room to the next flight of stairs down. She got down on all fours and looked at the 3rd floor, to see Ilia looking through drawings. "Hey!" Ruby exclaimed, and Ilia turned towards her.

"Hello." she said.

"Getting comfy?" Ruby asked, and Ilia just looked at her for a moment.

"Yes." she said. "I've never been comfortable in luxury..."

"It is like REALLY BIG." Ruby stated, "But also REALLY OLD. Nora and Ren have gone to look for the ghost."

Ilia smiled, "I doubt there's a ghost."

"Well, yeah, but," Ruby stated, "REALLY OLD. And it's all ours. Isn't it exciting?"

Ilia turned to sit on a bed. She was still smiling, just a bit more weak than before, "It's all yours." Ilia stated. "I'm just tagging along. You are Huntresses, and I'm?.." Ilia asked, and flopped back on her bed, "an... assassin?" Ruby ran down on all fours and ended up at the end of Ilia's bed. When Ruby didn't say anything, Ilia nervously lifted her head. "That... isn't?.."

"You WERE an assassin!" Ruby said, wagging her tail.

With this Ilia sat up and looked at her questioningly, "Isn't that," she nervously voiced, "a problem?"

"I really don't know?" Ruby asked, "I mean, everyone else seems good with it, and I'm not really the best socially... Jaune's happy to have you."

"He is?" Ilia asked.

"He relies on you." Ruby stated.

"Doesn't make me part of the family."

"FFIINNE!" Ruby exclaimed, "We'll just hire you."

"As a what?," Ilia asked, "assassin?"

"I don't know?" Ruby asked, and stood up properly, "What's between Huntress and assassin?" Ilia just rolled her eyes. "Okay?," Ruby asked, "but Uncle Qrow was apparently a bandit, and he's still my uncle."

"So?.." Ilia nervously asked, looking at her hands, "you're... fine with it..."

"Nope." Ruby said with glee, "I mean... this is awkward... that an inside joke with me and Jaune." She stood up properly, pointing at Ilia, "Anyways!, you can't change what you've done, but you want to help us save the world, so you can't be all bad, can you?"

Ilia flopped back on the bed, and her colours changed to camouflage herself into it. Ruby pounced on Ilia. "As someone who hides in her cloak, I know how well that doesn't work."

"Can't you leave me to mope?" Ilia.

"Nope," Ruby excitedly said as she stood from the bed and held our her hand, "Weiss is making Coffeee." Ilia took Ruby's hand and let herself get pulled to her feet.

[dancinginthecenteroftheworld]

I would love to hear more about the Winterfell Neigborhood Association!

Okay! So this is a continuation of the Halloween story I posted in 2019? I think? Where Brienne lives in a house with Margaery, Dany, and Gilly. And their neighbors are various characters. Basically, I wanted to go back from that and explore how she got to the neighborhood, met Jaime, met her roommates, and also then go forward in their relationship. It's actually a whole folder, but here's a snippet of the fic where Brienne is moving in.

The good thing about being a firefighter is that it’s not hard to find work, and Brienne put the rest of her family’s things in storage and spent about eight months in a shitty apartment near UNC-Westeros before Renly had convinced her to use the money from her father’s will and the sale of the beach house to buy her own place.

He’d even recommended his sister-in-law as a realtor, noting that she was a total bitch but a total bitch that could get you the best deal.

Brienne can’t disagree with that assessment. Cersei may have spent the entire time making derisive remarks about her appearance, her personality and her housing choices, but she had also gotten the sellers to knock 10K of the asking price and bring the electrical system up to code before the sale.

And now, four months after she started house-hunting, she’s here with the keys to her very own place.

The only thing she’s bothered to keep in her studio is a bed and a few boxes of clothes and personal items. She snags a passing student to help her wrestle the mattress into her truck - she may be six foot three, but a king size mattress isn’t a one person job no matter how tall you are - and crams the rest of the stuff in with it. (Thank god the bed comes apart.)

She takes a moment to just wander through the rooms a bit when she goes in. The downstairs is mostly common space. There’s one small room Cersei insists is the fifth bedroom, but Brienne disagrees because it can’t be a bedroom without a closet, plus the standard living, dining and kitchen, a “bonus room,” a half bath and an honest-to-god conservatory. Upstairs are the four bedrooms, two baths, and then the attic with the turret above there.

Brienne has absolutely no idea what she’s going to do with all this space or where she’s going to get furniture to fill them, but she doesn’t care.

She’s gotten everything in save the mattress when she hears someone calling over to ask if she needs help.

It’s a guy who looks a few years younger than her, skinny with disorderly brown curls, high cheekbones and a broad smile.

“Theon Greyjoy,” he says. “My sister and I live across the street.”

“Brienne Tarth,” she says. “And I’d absolutely love a hand.”

They wrestle the mattress into the house and up the stairs without too much trouble, although Theon looks much more winded than she is.

“Sorry,” he gasps. “Asha would have been better at this but she won’t be home for another couple days.”

“Your sister?” Brienne guesses.

Theon nods, and considers her for a moment. Brienne knows what he’s seeing. A tall, awkward woman with more muscles than most men (including him), a nose that’s been broken too many times, an overly large mouth and cropped hair the color of straw. She braces herself for the remark. “So,” he says casually. “I don’t suppose you’re a lesbian?”

Of all the things Brienne usually gets, that’s one of the less offensive options.

“No,” she says.

“Damn,” he tells her. “Asha’s going to be so disappointed.” 

[nitewrighter]

would you ever write a drabble for the MEKA squad? Happy holidays!

Tfw you really want to give Overlord they/them pronouns (because nonbinary characters aren’t just robots, Blizzard!!) but the Wiki is he/him, so you’re like “Okay he’s he/they.”

...this originally started out as a one-off gag and then mutated into this. Have fun.

------

It had been a long day of being slumped behind desks while government officials bickered through translators for the Meka squad. They were in Russia for what was supposed to be a “Joint Defense” conference discussing the applications of sharing Meka and Volskaya technology to better defend against the Gwishin and the Siberian Omnium, but communication had quickly broken down. Russia, it turned out, didn’t take too well to Korea granting citizenship to Omnics with only a handful of the EU restrictions (”and not even the UK restrictions!” one politician had blustered.) The Meka squad itself had been scoffed off as “celebrities” and “mascots” and so the day was ending with D.Va, D.Mon, and Casino standing around the hotel lobby. D.Va was scrolling through her phone next to a roaring fireplace while D.Mon stooped over her shoulder,  and Casino leaning against the hotel bar, examining some vodka in a shot glass and ready to pretend it definitely tasted like something other than burning to impress the cute bartender. The three of them perked up at the sound of the lobby elevator dinging and Casino knocked back his drink and suppressed a wince as a blue-clad figure waddled out of the elevator and into the lobby.

“Woah,” D.Mon blinked a few times as she and D.Va walked over.

“What--woah,” said Casino, still blinking a few times through the vodka still burning the back of his throat.

“What?!” muffled the waddling shape in blue.

“Is...uh... that really you under there, Seung-hwa?” D.Va tilted her head, trying to hold in snickers.

“I have a low cold tolerance,” Overlord’s voice was muffled through their scarf. He was a veritable sausage of a long puffer jacket, and apparently heavily layered even under that by the way his arms were spread away from his torso, and clumsily thudding around in heavy boots. A fur-lined trapper hat virtually swallowed their head and nearly all of their face was covered by a scarf.

“You’re T-Posing,” said D.Va.

“I’m not T-posing!” muffled Overlord indignantly

“...I wanna try something,” said Casino, stepping forward.

“Don’t be mean,” said D.Mon, furrowing her brow.

“I’m not,” said Casino.

“What are you doi--” Overlord started but Casino put his hands on the outsides of Overlord’s arms and pressed down, trying to push Overlord’s arms to the sides of their torso. Casino pulled his hands away and Overlord’s arms sprang back to their previous spread position. Casino snorted.

“Ooh! Let me try!” said D.Va, quickly walking up and pressing Overlord’s arms down to their side as well and letting them spring back into place.

“Okay that’s enough--” said D.Mon.

“We should get some selfies in--!” said D.Va.

“Can we just get going?!” said Overlord.

“Can you walk?” said Casino, quirking an eyebrow.

“Yes I can walk,” said Overlord.

-----

“Waddled” was a closer word for it.

“...are they still behind us?” said D.Va as she, D.Mon and Casino walked down the sidewalk.

Casino gave a glance back to Overlord practically duckwalking, their arms bouncing slightly at their sides since it apparently took physical effort to move them from their positions in a normal walking manner.

“He’s still behind us,” said Casino, smirking slightly, “Kind of reminds you of those penguin documentaries, March of the Mek--” He got elbowed by D.Mon.

Admittedly as they walked through the streets, all three of them had flashes of jealousy towards Overlord for being so bundled up. Russia had a cold that sank deep past the skin and made them starkly aware of every injury they had ever received in the Meka program, feeling old fissures in bones. It was past Christmas but not yet New Year’s, and lights and decorations still hung on some buildings. The city was a hodgepodge between stately old pre-crisis buildings, more modern skyscrapers, and several massive industrial-looking defense bases armed with massive long-range anti-aircraft turrets. The massive Svyatogors stood sentry at the city’s borders, surveying the city and beyond it with a sort of lumbering casualness that made you believe they were simply fully living giants rather than piloted mechs. D.Va watched as one turned its head slowly.

“...kind of glad the deal fell through,” muttered Casino, following her line of sight, “Can you imagine those ugly things in Busan? Gross.”

“...I could see myself piloting one,” said D.Mon.

“You would,” said Casino.

It wasn’t too long of a walk from their hotel to the park, and King was waiting for them at the wrought iron gate marking its entrance. He was scrolling through his phone while backlit by the blue, white, green, and pink lights being diffracted through the massive ice sculptures dotting the park behind him. The park was noticeably more crowded than the streets, a mix of locals on dates and tourists admiring the ice sculptures.

“What took you guys--” King started but then glanced at Overlord plodding along behind them, “Nice coat.”

“Thanks,” muffled Overlord.

Despite the crowds, the Meka squad’s walk through the park was quiet, pausing to look at different ice sculptures, getting hot smoky tea with a hint of orange peel from a little kiosk. Aside from Casino, who was only wearing earmuffs over his sleeked-back white hair, the five of them pretty much blended into the crowd. The subject matter of the ice sculptures ranged from whimsical and natural forms such as narwhals and giant flowers with real petals and blossoms suspended frozen inside them, to more technically impressive architectural forms of famous buildings from around the world and reproductions of classical sculptures, to a large collection of propagandistic figures of Svyatogors, fresco reproductions of posters, and Omnic crisis heroes. D.Va paused to see a line had formed next to an ice sculpture of a heroically flexing Aleksandra Zaryanova, glowing in pink, with tourists and locals alike eagerly posing and flexing next to it.

“...maybe you’d get a statue if the deal hadn’t fallen through,” D.Mon spoke next to her.

D.Va huffed. “I don’t know if that’s what I want people to remember me for,” she said quietly.

“Mm, yeah saving the city multiple times is nothing compared to the rush of gaming tournaments,” D.Mon said teasingly.

“...gaming tournaments mean everyone’s safe,” said D.Va and the teasing expression on D.Mon’s face was wiped away. Wordlessly, D.Mon slipped her arm through the crook of D.Va’s elbow and pulled her close.

“I know they’re wrong, here,” D.Va went on, “I know the omnics who live in Busan aren’t like the Gwishin--they aren’t the same---but what if the Gwishin finds a way to control them, somehow? There was that incident in Giza...” she shook her head, “But then I feel like a big jerk for thinking that! Like that’s not fair!”

D.Mon just leaned her cheek on the top of D.Va’s head. “I wish I could say there’s an easy answer for it. Most of the time I just worry about flying and keeping the team alive and let everyone else sort that junk out.”

“...we saw how they sort it out,” muttered D.Va, “They don’t. One side wants to put them all in a trash compacter and the other side wants to treat them like people so it all gets broken down country by country, but no matter what we’re all scared. And--I remember being a kid--and my dad taking me down to the basement when the air sirens went off, and giving me his old Fujita-Via with his pirated Starcraft port, and his noise canceling headphones that were too big for me, but I could still feel the house shaking--”

“Hana--” D.Mon squeezed her arm slightly.

But if I kept playing... it felt further away,” said D.Va, “Playing used to make it feel further away.”

“...and now we play to keep them away,” said D.Mon, quietly, “...you’re not alone, you know,” she added.

“I know I’m not--” D.Va started.

“But you’re not the only one who’s gone through stuff like that--that’s literally why we’re all here,” said D.Mon.

D.Va blinked a few times. 

“I’ve been talking to Dae-hyun,” said D.Mon and D.Va gave an exasperated huff, but D.Mon pushed further, “He’s worried, too. That night when you overclocked your reactor---”

“I had it handled!” D.Va said quickly, before catching herself, “We--we had it handled. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without--”

“Without Dae-hyun,” said D.Mon, “And I know it’s different with him, there’s no stupid pro-gamer egos, he’s not in the field like we are---But... is it that unfair of me to ask you to trust us like you trust him?”

D.Va glanced down.

D.Mon pressed her lips against D.Va’s snowflake-flecked hair, more of a nuzzle than a kiss, before gently pulling her along to the next ice sculpture. “At least hang out with us more. We have pit crews, you don’t have to keep pulling late nights tweaking Tokki.”

“Yeah, but I’m--”

“Picky,” D.Mon smiled, smoothing snowflakes away from D.Va’s hair with a smirk, “I know.”

D.Va sighed and leaned against D.Mon, “...I’ll try,” she said, quietly, then thought for a second, “I’ll make it a New Year’s resolution! Hang out with you guys more! Get away from the garage...”

They were making their way to an art nouveau-looking sculpture of a woman holding a pouring out swirling water when their comms buzzed. D.mon pulled her comm from her pocket.

“Guys, we need to regroup,” Casino said on the other end.

“What’s going on?” said D.Mon, “Call from headquarters or--?”

“Casino lost Overlord and we accidentally kidnapped a small Russian lesbian,” King’s voice sounded flatly on the other line.

“You lost Overlord too!” Casino argued.

“What--” D.Mon stammered, “How did you--”

“Just meet us back at the narwhal,” said Casino, before clicking out of the call.

D.Va and D.Mon exchanged glances.

“We don’t have to--” D.Mon started.

“Yes we do,” said D.Va, squeezing D.Mon’s arm and dragging her through the crowd. The narwhal sculpture was back towards the front of the park, and the crowds made it slow going, but they were able to find Casino, King, and what looked like Overlord’s heavily-layered t-posing figure next to them.

“What do you mean you lost Overlord?” said D.Mon, “They’re right--”

The figure, with some effort given the thick layers of their clothes, took off their trapper hat to shake off a shaggy asymmetrical bob and pulled down their scarf to reveal a convex nose.

“Not Overlord,” said D.Va.

The girl with the shaggy bob said something in Russian and pointed at Casino.

“We got into a really dense crowd back at the svyatogor sculpture,” said King, “My audio translator app says she thought Casino was her girlfriend from behind.”

“It’s mistranslating ‘girlfriend,’” said Casino, flatly.

“It’s really not,” said King.

“...which means Overlord must be following someone he thought was Casino!” said D.Va.

“Stunning powers of deduction,” said King, adjusting his glasses.

“Well, where was the last place you saw your girlfriend before?” said Casino, looking at the girl.

King rapidly tapped something into his phone. “G’dyeh te pahsled--” he started reading before going, “Fuck it--” and hit a button on his comm. The phone fired off a phrase in Russian and the girl shrugged. She paused, then said something questioning in Russian and pointed at D.Va.

“Can you say that again?” said King holding his phone up to her.

The girl repeated her question more slowly and the phone translated the phrase, “Is that D.Va, from the holos?”

“...uh...” D.Mon seemed hesitant to reveal their identities after such comfortable anonymity but D.Va cut in.

“Yes, I’m D.Va, do you know where our friend is?” she said, and the phone translated for her.

The girl almost squealed but managed to control herself and cleared her throat. “Big fan,” she managed in thickly accented english, gesturing at herself.

“Look just text Overlord and we’ll get this mess cleared up,” said D.Mon, looking at King.

“We’ve been texting them. No answer. I don’t think they can feel the comm buzzing through that coat,” said Casino.

“Look, I’m sure he’s already figured it out and is on his way back to us,” said D.Mon, “Overlord pilots the most complex mech out of all of us, he can control the movements of 27 airborne mini-drones simultaneously, I’m pretty sure he would notice pretty quickly if he was following some Russian chick and not Casino.”

All of their phones buzzed at once and they flipped them open to see their groupchat.

0verl0rd: HELP.

0verl0rd: ON A TRAIN.

0verl0rd: RUSSIAN LADY WASN’T CASINO.

0verl0rd: DON’T KNOW WHERE I’M GOING.

DeeVaaaaaa: WHY ARE YOU ON A TRAIN!? 

K1ng_Soo: Literally when did we say we would get on a train.

0verl0rd: I DON’T KNOW I WAS JUST ROLLING WITH IT.

0verl0rd: NOT CASINO LADY IS YELLING AT ME IN RUSSIAN NOW.

Casi_no: How did you not notice they were speaking Russian before?

0verl0rd: THIS HAT IS REALLY THICK AND IT WAS HARD ENOUGH KEEPING UP.

Yuna-Mon: Okay just stay calm and stay where you are.

Overlord: AGAIN I’M ON A TRAIN.

The Meka squad glanced up from the group chat and looked at Overlord’s thick-coat look-alike, whose phone suddenly buzzed. Through the thickness of her own coat it took her some effort to pull it out and answer it. They watched as she argued in Russian for several minutes, then turned to talking very quickly in Russian for another, minute, then laughing, then she gave a glance to the Meka squad, cupped a mittened hand over her mouth and spoke into the phone a bit more quietly and excitedly, before apparently reaching a satisfying conclusion, peppering in what sounded like a dozen pet names, and then ended the call. She gestured at King to hold his phone up to her and spoke Russian into his translator app.

“My Nadenka and your friend are heading to Vasily’s--our usual spot in Dumskaya,” the translator app’s automated voice made her easy tone sound much more halting, “You can pick him up there. Maybe grab drinks, yes? Big Meka fans! We love D.Va!”

King was apparently feverishly web-searching Dumskaya but D.Va said, “Great! Lead the way!”

The girl patted her mitten against her thick coat, “Uliana,” she said,

“...Hana,” said D.Va.

The girl made another high-pitched sound but caught herself, cleared her throat, and managed to get control of herself again. “Come on!” she said, waving them across the park. D.Va and Casino followed, but King and D.Mon hung back, slightly.

“Sounds like a recipe to wake up in a bathtub full of ice,” muttered King under his breath.

“I’m sure they don’t need ice with all this snow,” said D.Mon with a slight smirk. “It’s going to be fine.”

“And if it’s not?”

“Well I guess there will be a messy international incident concerning the ransoming and eventual brutal murders of Korea’s primary anti-Gwishin defense force, is that the conclusion you want me to jump to?” said D.Mon.

King opened his mouth, then furrowed his brow and readjusted his glasses.

“We grab Overlord and get out,” he said firmly.

“Mm-hmm,” D.Mon nodded her head.

-----

Vasily’s was a dive bar but it wasn’t a dive bar. It was warmly lit, had a handful of floral-patterned Slavic tchotchkes, some granny-chic doilies that suggested the place served lunch and tea, and a long garland of fake pine dotted with pink ornaments trailing along the wall. There was definitely a lived-in feeling to the place, but it was offset by an almost persnickety cleanliness. As King pushed the door open, he readjusted his glasses, finding the bar brighter than expected. It was virtually empty, but Overlord was sitting at the bar, having shed his thick coat with the trapper hat in his lap. He was apparently gesturing with several overturned shot glasses on the bar counter and talking to... Casino?

King gave a quick glance to Casino, who was still standing next to him, then glance back at Overlord and his bleach-blonde companion and snorted as she turned her head.

“She does look like you from behind,” he said to Casino.

“Shut up,” said Casino.

“Nadenka!” Uliana called out and then excitedly pointed at D.Va before unzipping her own thick puffer coat and hurrying over for a pecking cheek kiss from Nadenka.

“Sorry for mix-up, Meka Squad,” Nadenka looked over at the four of them.

“You speak english?” said King.

Nadenka made an ‘eeehhhh’ gesture with her hand, “Not very good,” she said with a shrug, and then elbowed Uliana, “Better than this one, though. She didn’t tell you?”

“Ah!” Uliana scoffed, “Hey!” She admonished her in Russian but Nadenka just gave her a smug smirk. 

“I was telling her about that amphibious gwishin mech back in the fall, remember that?” Overlord swung around on their barstool, eyes bright, “The crawler?”

“Yes, we all remember the crawler,” King said quickly, “Now, we should get back to the hotel, before you wander off after another random woman who looks like Casino from behind--”

“But I’m not finished yet!” said Overlord.

“Is true,” said Nadenka, “I want to hear rest of story. I think little blue guy should be D.Va, yeah?”

Uliana gasped as if her girlfriend had just spoken blasphemy, but Overlord just beamed smugly and D.Va snickered a little. 

“...we can stay for the story,” said D.Mon.

“What?” said King, “But--”

“And shots,” said Casino.

“Shots!?” King repeated.

“They got snacks, here?” said D.Va, “Kind of want something salty.”

“Hana--!” King was pressing his fingertips to his forehead but Uliana was already flagging down the exhausted looking bald bartender and feverishly talking to him in Russian. D.Va was able to make out the words ‘D.Va’ and ‘Meka Squad’ in her rapid rant. Within seconds shot glasses and little doily-skirted opened mason jars of pickles were being set out on the bar. “...this isn’t happening,” muttered King, but D.Mon just bumped her shoulder into him. 

“Come on,” she said, “Think of it as... ‘regional immersive research for the Meka program’s future collaborative efforts.’“

“...I’m writing all of you up to our CO,” said King flatly before Casino held out a filled shot glass to him and he sullenly took it. 

“Is this that glitz and glamour you guys are always heading off to?” said D.Va, pushing herself up onto a barstool. 

“It might be,” said D.Mon grinning and taking a barstool next to her, “If you came with us more often.”

“New year’s resolution,” said D.Va, crunching one of the bar pickles.

[ryuumarsart]

Portal LGBTQ+ headcanons! My OCs and interpretations of the canon characters have changed a lot since when I first made them, including my views on their sexualities and genders.  Chell - I headcanon her as demi and bi, but focused on the demi part here. She needs a strong friendship and trust to be built before any romantic feelings (especially after the events of the games). As much as I love Chelley, I acknowledge that it would probably take years before a bond could be made. Great for angst tho lol. Wheatley - This boy is pan and you can't convince me otherwise. He looks for love in all places and unfortunately finds very little.  Michael - First OC. He is a closeted bisexual. He loved his wife as much as life itself, but after her death, Wheatley was a willing rebound. Even though this makes Chelley a little...weird as he is my hc for Chell's dad, I love the idea of the two supporting each other during times of grief and self-loathing. GLaDOS - My aro icon. As annoying it is to have only robots or aliens for aro/ace representation and still have canon aro/ace characters shipped or sexualized I still love the idea of aromantic GLaDOS. I feel that she still felt some love towards others, specifically Chell, just platonic love. Caroline - I know that a lot of people ship her with Cave Johnson and there were many signs of the two having a close relationship. However, I never got the impression that it was a romantic one. Plus, Cave was a bit of an ass and she deserves better. I just really like the idea of her being a closeted lesbian, only out to Cave who pretended to be in some sort of relationship with her to ward off unwelcome advances from the male scientists. Plus the whole "married to science" thing. Liliana - A recently made OC who is the human basis for the core I headcanon as being the first to be in charge of the facility. Long story. She was one of the many homeless to be snatched up by Aperture during the rougher years. Although Cave was going to pass on her (sexist bastard lol), she caught Caroline's eye and became a sort of temp/intern, working for food and a place to stay. Also a total lesbian smitten by the beauty that is Caroline. Rick/Adventure Core - Female, male, nonbinary, human, core, any mix of those, doesn’t really matter to him. So definitely pansexual. Rattman - So, from the first game in one of his "dens", he has pictures of both men and women with the companion cube pasted over their faces. And he has a high key love for the companion cube. Yeah he is bi as hell Companion Cube - I had Rattman so I wanted to include the cube as well. As mentioned previously, he sees the cube as being both male and female, so...genderfluid companion cube? At least in Rattman's eyes. Atlas/P-body - I know the game avoids mentioning their genders so that the players can project themselves onto them, but I like to see them as non-binary, specifically agender. Turrets/Oracle Turret - Very similar to Atlas and Peabody in that they just don't see themselves as either male or female like GLaDOS or Wheatley. So they're non-binary as well. Virgil/Rainbow Core - These two are so gay for each other, it's amazing. Enough said. Alexander/Alexa - This is a pretty recent interpretation of my old OC who was meant to be a morally grey antagonist alongside GLaDOS for the pre-games story. I know that it's problematic to make a villain LGBT+, but I really don't see them as much as a villain anymore. They had a pretty rough life and just found acceptance in the wrong places. But still killed people. Anyway, I see her as a very closeted trans woman. Alexa struggled with her identity and place in life, and questioning her gender was a part of it. Plus, I like to think that she only came out to GLaDOS, who was like "The human concept of gender is an enigma to me, so I don't mind calling you she/her. Whatever convinces you to let me access the neurotoxin" and she was too desperate for validation to see that GLaDOS was just being manipulative. Anyway, those were my headcanons that I drew on a whim two years ago.

[andrewmoocow]

Steven Universe: The Fantastic Mutants Chapter 2: Right into the Danger Room (originally posted on April 17, 2020)

AN: Kept you waiting, huh? After originally deleting the Fantastic Four from the climax of last chapter due to not giving them any dialogue, this is where I now shall introduce the First Family to the story. Well then, let's finally hop to it!

--

"Here we are Steven, the X-Men's personal training room." Pearl announced as the group exited the elevator, went through the hallways, and stepped into the famous Danger Room of the X-Men. Aside from the small control room above it housing X-Men ally Moira MacTaggert & Gold Team member Doug Ramsey aka Cypher, the area was a large white room decorated with turrets, holograms, and various other traps designed to test whoever trains in there. "So, the legendary Steven Universe in the flesh." Reed Richards announced his presence by appearing behind Steven with Susan Storm, Johnny Storm and Ben Grimm behind him. "Wait, the Fantastic Four are here too?!" Steven exclaimed. "That's right little guy. The professor and Stretch here actually wanted to test you." the Thing stated patting a big orange hand on the stretchable scientist's shoulder. "We've already heard about how you helped those Chitauri and Thanos." "Charles is already sort of familiar with you Gems thanks to your mother." Sue added with a wink. "Which version of my mom are you talking about, Rose or Pink Diamond?" Steven asked, casually bringing up his mother's true identity to the four, which incited an awkward silence. "Okay then." Johnny muttered nervously. "Why don't we just get to fighting already to get our minds off that junk?" he asked. "Very glad you asked Johnny." Reed answered just as sheepish while gazing down at the Danger Room. "Eight Crystal Gems against twenty-four mutants, Johnny and Ben. Sounds like pretty bad odds for you." "We'll find a way around that." Garnet declared as she pounded her fists together. "Now then, shall we begin?" "Gladly." Wolverine smirked and he popped out his claws and the two teams of both eight & twenty-six were lowered down into the training room. Charles, Reed and Susan remained in the control room to monitor the Gems' abilities from afar. "Let the testing begin." Xavier declared. "Heads up X-Men!" Cyclops exclaimed firing his eye beams at Garnet, who swiftly blocked them with a cross of her arms. "Joke's on you, my future vision saw that coming." the fusion smirked before she went in for the kill, punching the mutant in the face. "So what can you do little one?" Colossus asked while towering over both Peridot and Lapis. "That depends. How heavy are you with that form?" Peridot replied with a grin as she lifted the metal man into the air with her ferrokinesis. "My word, I am floating!" Piotr cried in astonishment. "C'mon Lapis!" Peridot muttered to the water Gem. "Go and make him wet! He should rust, right?" "Oh uh, I don't think I can do that right now." Lapis said nervously before slowly shuffling away, inciting curiosity from the green Gem. "That's a little odd." Peridot observed while lowering Colossus to the ground. "Yes, you say she has water powers yet has not used them at all." Piotr added. "And by the way, I do not rust." Meanwhile, Pearl and Connie were clashing their blades with Wolverine and Laura's claws. "Likin' the new sword Connie." Logan complimented. "But what the hell happened to the old one?" "Oh, funny story actually." Connie stated while parrying Laura's foot claws. "Ruby and Sapphire had this wedding that we put together after we all learned Rose Quartz was Pink Diamond in disguise only for it to be crashed by the Diamonds and Blue Diamond broke the first one. Then we went to Homeworld where Bismuth eventually came to help us with a new one she made for me." "That's certainly a lot to take in." X-23 remarked while flipping backwards to avoid Connie's attacks before she locked the claws in her hands with Pearl's spear. "Yes, everything after that did take some getting used to." the white Gem stated. "Between repairing the beach house, making a place for all the Gems we uncorrupted to live in and still sort of recovering from becoming extensions of White Diamond, it's a lot to take in."

-- "At home base is our golden boy Sammy "The Cannonball" Guthrie, as he gets ready for perhaps the biggest hit of the season!" Cannonball narrated to himself like a sports commentator while aiming himself at Bismuth, who was duking it out with both Ben and Johnny. "To say he's been preparing for this moment the entire year wouldn't be saying much, but by God he plans on making this the hit that'll change the way everyone sees his team for centuries to come!" "Hey Cannie, quit stalling!" Magma jeered as she made small talk with Nephrite. "Not even his fans will break his concentration!" Sam continued and then, he began to ignite his feet. "HERE COMES THE PITCH!" he yelled, blazing towards the blacksmith, the Torch and the Thing with rapid speed & a big grin on his face and then, knocked them all down like bowling pins. "AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!" "Sam you nino." Amara tutted to herself. "Is your relationship normally like this?" Nephrite asked the lava mutant. "Yeah, he's kinda like an annoying little brother to me." Magma replied. "So anyway, what can you do?" "Oh, you mean you want to see my weapon?" the former Centipeetle mother inquired. "Well, here g-" Before she could demonstrate, Cannonball was sent flying into a wall by a single punch from Garnet, right next to the two. "I'M OKAY!" he exclaimed. "NAILED IT!" Far from the others, Steven was backed into a corner by Blink and Warpath. "Gotta say kid, you're not too shabby." Clarice Ferguson nodded while flinging her crystal javelins at Steven's shield. "You still got a little to learn, but that's what the professor is for." "Oh yeah? Well try this!" Steven exclaimed, now turning his shield into a bubble to roll around in and raced off, knocking down Clarice and James along the way. "There is so much about Gems that we must learn." Warpath muttered. "Don't you agree Clarice?" "Hey Connie, over here!" Steven called out to his human friend. "Let's show everyone something really cool!" he offered. "Oh, you mean-" Connie began when Logan cut her off. "I'm sorry, what?" Wolverine asked as the girl raced to the bubble and high-fived each other, glowing brightly inside the sphere before it dispersed, and out of it came Stevonnie. "TA-DA!" "What the hell just happened?!" Cypher exclaimed in wonder. "Anyone else seeing this?" Moira asked the others, who were already monitoring the current events. "It seems they have merged into a singular being!" Reed analyzed through video footage of the fusion before speaking into an intercom. "Excuse me new fighter. Can you please tell everyone in the room who you are?" "We already know Richards." Garnet stated. "Meet Stevonnie, a fusion of well, Steven and Connie." she introduced the kids' fusion before they cut her off. "Let me take over Garnet." Stevonnie suggested. "In case you couldn't tell, a fusion combines multiple aspects of its fusees, like appearances for example." they explained. "And abilities too. Like so." To demonstrate, they summoned Steven's shield following by swinging Connie's sword about. "So in short, you're basically two cute kids standin' on top of each other to form a non-binary lookin' person?" the Thing remarked. "Whatta strange development!" "Fusion? Interesting." Lapis muttered to herself with her back turned to Peridot. "Uh, why would you say that Lapis? You know you've had bad experiences with fusion!" the green Gem asked. "Do you mind little one?! I'm trying to think!" the taller Gem shouted harshly, giving Peridot a fright. "Something just isn't right! Who are you?!" "We shall focus on your friend later child." Colossus stated as he picked Peridot up and walked away with her, leaving Lapis alone. "I assume you are very close?" he asked. "Indeed we are." Peridot remarked. "We've had our conflicts in the past, but overall we're very good friends or maybe something more. But still, she never called me little one before and hasn't acted like that since we were first getting to know each other." "You are correct. Something must be wrong." Piotr agreed. "I suggest we keep our heads down and see what happens." -- As for Stevonnie, they had just finished going a few rounds with both Cyclops and Jean before finding themselves getting tired out. "Okay, let's take five for a bit. I'm beat." they announced, officially splitting back into Steven and Connie. "You two work very well together." Scott remarked as he helped the kids up. "Are there any more fusions we should know about?" "Well, there's Ruby and Sapphire for example." Wolverine stated, cuing Garnet to split up into the married Gems. Ruby's headband was now a shiny orange color, she now wore brown pants and the top part of her torso was the same color. Sapphire's dress was currently covered by a light blue vest with navy lining underneath a white top with much pointier sleeves than before. "AAAWWW! Aren't you two just the cutest?!" Cannonball squealed at the sight of the two. "You're right, these funky little lesbians are just so small!" Kitty exclaimed. "Oh you're too kind." Sapphire giggled and blushed. "Anything else we should show you?" "Yeah, you got any more fusions?" Laura asked. Without any hesitation, Ruby, Sapphire & Steven merged into a new fusion that looked like a giant sun wearing sunglasses. "Sunstone is in the house baby!" Sunstone proudly announced, following up by offering everyone a high five. "How has everyone been doing lately?!" "T-this can't be real, can it?" Cyclops gasped at the friendly fusion. "Don't be so alarmed buddy." Sunstone exclaimed. "It's always nice to meet new people. But if those new people do anything to make you uncomfortable, that's NO GOOD!" "Why are you talking to the wall?" Beast asked Sunstone after they had given an important life lesson to seemingly nothing in particular. "No matter. Could you perhaps show us your abilities?" "With pleasure sir." Sunstone accepted the offer and made a pair of suction cups appear, using them to climb up the wall. "And another thing, don't forget to respect your elders!" they added. "Oh god, this new one is just like Wade." Wolverine face-palmed. "Who's Wade?" Bismuth asked, to which she was met with a terse "You don't wanna know bub!" -- Meanwhile in the mansion above, classes had finally got out and the students of the X-Men were ready to call it a day. "How come none of us have ever heard of these Gem creatures before?" Hisako Ichiki asked her friends. "Which one do you think is your favorite? I think mine's the big one with the rainbow hair." Megan Gwynn also inquired. "I find the little green one very funny." Sooraya Qadir answered. "And so cute to-" Suddenly, a loud knock came from a nearby closet. "Anyone else hear that?" Dust exclaimed. The knocking sounded again. "It's coming from over there!" The three mutant girls proceeded to investigate, opening the closet to find a blue-skinned woman tied up and gagged. "Is that one of them?" Armor shouted as she freed the girl from her restraints, and she only had one question. "Where's Peridot?" "Are you talking about the tiny one Sooraya said was her favorite?" Pixie wondered. "Last I checked, she went with our teachers to the Danger Room." Faster than the three mutants could see, Lapis zoomed off to the training room. "Please tell Peridot I find her hilarious!" Dust called after the water Gem, but her words barely reached her. -- "Okay, I do believe we've seen enough!" Xavier called to Sunstone from the viewing box. "Don't want anyone to get crushed if you fall!" "You got any pyrotechnic abilities Sunstone?!" Johnny exclaimed. "If you do, then I think we might have a little competition!" Sunstone was quick to correct the Human Torch however. "I do believe I haven't tried that out yet." they remarked, then they made the suction cups disappear from their hands and landed on the floor with extreme bravado. "Thank you, thank you very much!" "Ugh, showboat. You kinda remind me of another fireman." the Lapis Lazuli that Peridot believed might not be the one she remembers snarked. "Am I the only one who's noticing how different Lapis is?!" Peridot exclaimed. "I haven't seen you act like this since we first moved in together! What gives?" "I'm just not impressed, that's all." Lapis growled. "Something tells me we got a spy around here." Mr. Fantastic announced as he, Susan, Xavier, Moira and Doug entered the Danger Room. "Tell me Ms. Lazuli, what can you tell us about the disappearance of the ocean a while back?" "Oh well, they just vanished. That's all." Lapis answered while fidgeting with her hands. "I know a liar when I see one!" Ben growled. "And by my great aunt Petunia, you definitely look like a liar!" "That's because she is!" another Lapis exclaimed racing into the Danger Room and scowling at her double. "So, what thinks you can snatch me out of that elevator and take my place?!" she argued. "Who are you talking about? I am the real deal!" the other Lapis stated flamboyantly. "Loyal member of the Crystal Gems and this little Peridot's dearly beloved!" "Oh yeah, well which one of you likes this?" Steven declared before he began making fart noises with his mouth, causing the first Lapis to laugh and the second to smack her face in embarrassment. "What an absolute child." she groaned. "AHA!" Peridot cried. "Now we know who the real one is!" "I AM!" the pair of Lapises exclaimed in unison. "Oh please Mystique, you can use your powers better than this." Xavier tutted disdainfully. "It's almost like you're passing yourself off as incompetent to annoy us." "Of course it had to be you to expose me." the second Lapis growled as she began to change form. Unlike Gem shapeshifting, she didn't glow as her eyes turned an empty yellow, her hair was dyed red, scales appeared on her face & arms and Lapis's clothing was replaced with a white leotard that came with matching boots, gloves and a shawl kept together with a skull. She was no longer Lapis Lazuli, but instead her true identity as the shapeshifter Mystique. "Frankly, we knew this part of our plan wouldn't end well." "We?" Steven asked, but the X-Men knew exactly who she was talking about. "The Brotherhood!" Iceman shouted when the alarms sounded. "Oh hey, speak of the devil." he muttered bemusedly. "No offense Kurt." "No time to talk, we must go now!" Nightcrawler commanded while Mystique made a break for it. "You are exactly right Wagner." Scott declared. "X-Men, let's move out!" -- Where the proud front doors to Xavier's school once stood, now there was only a hole created by a massive man dressed in red, most notably a large helmet covering his entire head. "Okay ya walkin' talkin' rock candy, where are you?!" Cain Marko, better known as the Juggernaut, roared. "It's a good thing Mystique planted that hearing bug on herself just in case." his amphibious partner Toad added. "I just can't wait to see those pebbles for real!" "Hello boys." Mystique greeted her fellow mutants as she stepped out of the shadows. "I suppose you may have already gotten the news." she said. "Well I got worse news: they're after me." And Raven was right. The Crystal Gems came charging after the mutant and took up arms against the two new mutants. "And you two are?" Garnet asked. "Pardon me for being so rude." Juggernaut stated. "You can call me the Juggernaut, bitch!" he roared. "And we're all from the Brotherhood of Mutants, here for that brat with the shield!" "Let me guess, is this about my mom?" Steven asked, exasperated how most of his enemies come after him because of Rose Quartz. "No, we don't care about her! The master only wants you!" Mortimer hissed. "Now just come quietly and none of your rainbow friends will get hurt." "No dice Kermit!" Amethyst shouted. "Steven, keep yourself away from these guys and get everyone to safety! The OG-3 got this handled!" she ordered the boy. "Right!" Steven accepted. "X-Men, I need you to help me find the students!" As Steven led the mutants and the Fantastic Four away; Garnet, Amethyst & Pearl charged at Juggernaut, Toad & Mystique with weapons ready. "Do you wish to know the qualities of the mighty toad?!" Mortimer bragged as his long tongue tangled with Amethyst's whip. "Wait wait, I think I got this!" Amethyst exclaimed. "This can happen to them." Suddenly, Amethyst tossed Toynbee around by her whip, still tangled with his tongue, and smashed him into the ground multiple times. "Okay!" Mortimer declared, getting more desperate with each pound. "I surrender! Same thing that happens to everyone else! Make it stop! I'm gonna be sick!" "What business do you have coming here following us and replacing Lapis?" Pearl asked as her spear clashed against Mystique's knife. "We are simply in league with someone who wants that child's gemstone." Mystique replied. "He desires it for experimental purposes." "If you think you can take Steven from us, then you got another thing coming!" Pearl howled protectively. -- "Okay, that should be all the students." Cyclops announced while doing a headcount of the school's student body. "I swear, we should really increase defenses at some point and maybe build a stronger building." "But I on the other hand believe the school being damaged builds character." Colossus responded. "So what can we do now guys?" Steven asked his fellow mutants. "I mean, is there any way we can just reason with these villains and make them leave the place?" "Don't you go thinking some cutie pie words will just make us surrender pink brat!" a new mutant declared emerging from the dust & rubble. He looked very similar to Wolverine, but looked more feral with blank white eyes, crazy blonde hair and a red & brown costume. Beside him was a pale Japanese woman dressed in tight black leather that had an Oriental style to it. Also like Logan, they both had metal claws emerging from their hands. "Creed. Oyama." Logan snarled at Sabretooth and Lady Deathstrike. "Looks like we almost got the whole Brotherhood here." Emma Frost implied. And just as she said so, a morbidly obese man in a blue singlet came rolling in using his fat body. "HOWDY TRAITOR!" the Blob shrieked. "And lookie here, we got us a good one!" "Why don't you just hand over the boy and no one will have to get hurt?" a pyrokinetic mutant offered while standing alongside another member of the Brotherhood in steel blue armor who was causing the school to slowly fall apart. "Naw just kidding to be honest, someone is probably gonna get hurt no matter which side they're on!" "Don't get too cocky John." the Brotherhood's earth-moving tactician Avalanche coldly reminded Pyro. "Now where could Tom be?" "Right here gang! And guess who I found?" the plant controlling Black Tom Cassidy announced while having assisted Juggernaut, Toad & Mystique in detaining Garnet, Amethyst & Pearl with his vines. "Seriously, who are you crazy people?!" Lapis exclaimed in fright at just how one man was able to defeat three powerful Gems. "They're the Brotherhood of Mutants, a group of extremists dedicated to more violent ways of mutant peace." Jubilee exposited. "And by the way, what do you want now?!" "They want Steven! I don't know why exactly, but they're working for someone who wants him for science junk!" Amethyst cried out. "That's not untrue runt." the Brotherhood's leader Magneto concurred while descending from the sky in a sphere of purple energy. "I do apologize for making this much of a scene but I implore you all, give us the child and you'll go free." "You shall do no such thing Erik." Xavier boldly rebuked the master of magnetism. "Just who are you in alliance with?" "Well, it should be someone quite familiar to some other guests of yours." Magneto answered while looking at Reed and company, who knew exactly who he was talking about. "Doom." Richards muttered in shock. -- As the invasion of the mansion went on, a man dressed in green robes and silver armor watched everything play out through a holographic screen in his castle in the nation of Latveria. Its literally iron-fisted ruler Victor von Doom slouched in his throne as he watched the Brotherhood of Mutants contend with the Crystal Gems and their new allies before he got up and walked towards the screen. With a devilish grin that couldn't be seen through his emotionless mask, he traced a circle around Steven and let out a menacing laugh. "Soon child, your gemstone shall belong to Doom." -- At long last, chapter two is done! Yeah, tons of things got in the way of its creation like my bad habit of unintentional procrastinating along with a certain virus that's been ruining everyone's fun lately. But on the bright side, I've been able to get this out long after the grand conclusion of Steven Universe Future, so I'd have a lot to work with for future stories. But for now, stay safe out there in these trying times and stay tuned.

[shirorozutriea]

A Strange Play Request

Weiss Schnee can’t believe herself right now, as she is standing in front of a house where a resident brute is living her own luxurious life full of games and shenanigans. And what more is she is standing right here asking for a little bit of help from her.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this. I will never get to hear the end of this.” Sighed Weiss. She hesitantly lift her arm preparing to knock, but the door flew open in her face and she jumped in shock.

“Hey, Weiss! Saw you standing there so I opened up.” Grinned Yang. Weiss groaned in exasperation.

“Warn me next time, Yang.” Weiss said with a deep scowl.

“Next time.” Winked Yang.

Yang being a gentlewoman that she is opened the door wide enough to let Weiss inside. Weiss thanked her for her courtesy and looked around the house.

“Is Blake here?” Asked Weiss.

“Nope. She’s out to meet Sun and Velvet, something about Faunus meeting somewhere here in Vale.” Said Yang, going to the kitchen. “Want some tea or coffee?”

“Tea? You drink tea?” Asked Weiss in confusion.

Yang shook her head from the kitchen. “Not really. It’s more of Blake’s tea to go, while me I just dig in. I like the Menagerie blend though.”

Weiss nodded as if Yang could see her. “Do you have like coffee beans?”

Yang looked behind her to see Weiss. She looked up for a moment in thought. “Yeah, I think. Since Raven likes her coffee beans from Mistral.”

Weiss smiled. “Mistral coffee beans pack quite a punch. Both on the taste buds and pocket.”

Yang laughed at the comment. “That is quite true.”

Yang brewed the coffee and went to the living room to give Weiss her share of coffee goodness. She reached out the cup of coffee to Weiss, which the latter gladly accept.

“You sure make good coffee.” Weiss compliments as she took a sip.

“Gotta hand it to those times Blake and Raven having hangover from time to time.” Chuckled Yang.

“Blake drinks?” Blinked Weiss. Yang nodded.

“But it’s occasionally. With Sun and others, or those rare nights with me.” Yang replied.

Weiss hummed in consideration. Weiss continue to drink, not knowing where to start her ‘odd’ request.

“So, what brings you here in this wonderful abode of the almighty Xiao Long.” Grinned Yang. Weiss rolled her eyes playfully, but smiled.

“I have a rather odd—request.” Said Weiss, looking around nervously.

“Odd? How odd exactly?” Asked Yang.

“Something that you would never thought I'd request.” Said Weiss, blushing.

Yang held out a hand. “Weiss, I’m taken, no.”

Weiss looked at Yang in confusion, before she gaped at her in horror. “Get your mind out of the gutter, Yang! Gross!”

Yang roared up, laughing. ‘Sorry, sorry. So what’s it?”

“..me.. ga..” Muttered Weiss.

“Teach me gay? Weiss, you’re already gay enough I assure you. You don’t need teaching you useless lesbian.” Laughed Yang.

“TEACH ME HOW TO PLAY GAMES, XIAO LONG!!” Exclaimed Weiss, surprising Yang and the sudden shout.

“G-games?! Who are you and what have you done to Weiss Schnee?” Yang panicked. Weiss frowned at Yang.

“I’m being serious, Yang.” Said Weiss, with utmost sincerity.

Holy shit, she is serious.

Yang coughed. “And what brings you to that request. And you’re right, I never get to imagine the day you’ll ask something like that.”

Weiss coughed. “W-well, I want to know what does you and Ruby find in this sorts of activities, fun. And I kind of want to play some with Ruby but I’m too afraid to ask her to teach me.”

Yang blinked. She grinned.

“Don't worry, Weissy! I got ya covered!” Declared Yang, pointing her thumb to herself.

Weiss sipped her coffee. “I hold you on to that.”

***

“Yang, please stop. You’re taking my kill!!” Yelled Weiss, tapping aggressively on her scroll.

“Then finish them faster.” Grinned Yang.

“I am trying and you’re cheating!” Said Weiss.

“Come, Weiss. All is fair in love and war!” Laughed Yang.

“Shut up, Yang.” Growled Weiss, trying to kill Rafaela. “Stupid, healer.”

“Oh come on, don’t diss the healers.” Said Yang. “I’m our healer, here.”

“Which is unusual. Shouldn't you be a tank or fighter?” Said Weiss, killing the minions around the turret. “Ah! I died.”

“It's okay, Weiss.” Said Yang. “I died too.”

“Well, I don’t feel bad about you dying in the game.” Said Weiss. Yang put a hand on her chest.

“You wound me, Schnee. Or should I say Mrs. Rose.” Teased Yang, nudging the latter’s side.

“Not yet.” Smiled Weiss.

“Oho, Schnee is marrying my sister, eh.” Smiled Yang in amusement. Weiss looked at her.

“Of course, I would. I love your sister. And she made me the happiest woman living on Remnant.” Weiss softly smile.

Yang pats the latter’s back, albeit a bit harder than expected causing for the heiress to almost end up being on the floor at the force.

“Yang, you're making my character dead!” Panicked Weiss, tapping on the skill set she had.

“Quite ironically and also it makes sense that you would pick Ruby as the your hero.” Mentioned Yang. Weiss blushed and shush Yang, who laughed at the comment.

“Adorable little Weissy. Always so smitten for Ruby.” Teased Yang.

“And I bet all my money that on a certain upcoming poll, you’ll suggest a character that is similar to Blake.” Muttered Weiss, killing Akai.

“Woah! You already got your first kill.” Yang exclaimed. “Nice one, Schnee.”

Weiss’s teammates are already in shambles and is getting killed by the other team. While Yang is trying to heal everyone that is currently ‘alive’ which means nearly dead in the game.

“I know some healers are a bit kinda sloppy, but this time it’s not the healers fault.” Commented Yang. Weiss hummed in agreement.

“I may be a ‘noob’ as you would call us newbies, but this is entirely ridiculous.” Said Weiss as she watched another teammate die.

“Weiss, let’s end this.” Said Yang with determination.

“Alright, support me Yang.” Said Weiss, readying herself.

Weiss dashed towards the turret, pulling Elsa, I mean Aurora on the turret where she finishes her off with the help of the turret and Yang. Yang healed Weiss nearly low health to make her fit to battle. Their teammates came running and providing support and killing some hero’s and minions along the way.

Weiss decided to push and destroy the remaining turret from the other team, clearing the field so that they can execute more attacks. Weiss used her first skill to kill the minions and the second skill to stun nearby enemies and then killing them on her third skill.

“MONSTER KILL! MANIAC! UNSTOPPABLE!”

On the top flashes the words that meant to say that all enemies are killed and they are now charging to the base. One more slash and..

“VICTORY!!”

“Weiss!” Yang side hugged Weiss and cheered. “You did it, Weiss!”

“Did what?” Wheezed Weiss as Yang crush her ribs. “Yang, my ribs.”

“Look at your scroll!” Yang exclaimed. “Who got the MVP?”

Weiss looked at her scroll and saw her name.

“Oh.” Weiss looked at her scroll. “What’s that suppose to mean?”

“You are the best player, but of course not as best as me. I’ll just let you take the cake for now.” Said Yang.

“Is that so?” Weiss smiled. “Why thank you, Xiao Long.”

“No need. That’s what sisters are for.” Said Yang. Weiss’s neck do a whiplash and looked at Yang wide eyed.

Yang, only just noticed what she said and looked away from Weiss, blushing. Weiss bit back a laugh, but eventually ended up giggling before laughing at the display in front of her.

“So, I got your approval, huh?” Said Weiss in amusement, teasing her fellow teammate.

“N-no! You need to do more than that to make me say yes to you marrying Rubes.” Countered Yang. Weiss chuckled.

“I don’t think I need that. I already got the answer even before this happened anyway.” Said Weiss.

Yang was confused.

“What do you mean?” Asked Yang.

“Oh nothing. Let’s just say it involves with you being drunk and telling me a lot of compliments and other pleasant words about Ruby and I.” Said Weiss, smiling in triumph.

Needless to say, Yang was terrified and quite curious as to what she said on that particular day.