#LOL I JUST FOUND THIS IN MY DRAFTS I FORGOT I HAD THIS DREAM

[erinwantstowrite]

i feel like if you released a 24 hour + video of you talking about your plans for your original book i would sit and watch all of that with no breaks. so: would you be willing to share at least the bare bones of the plot you have now? or even some tropes that would be in it? or maybe random questions like how many main characters? how many povs? if it's sci-fi or fantasy? just stuff like that!

ahhhh!! i'd love to talk about them because they're constantly rotating in my brain!! i hope this doesn't get too long but we all know me, i can never stop yapping 😭

(okay this is present erin editing before posting and yeah this got long guess who called it. anyways there's art and stuff under the cut as well)

(Marked this as mature with violence only because there is an image below where I drew injuries/cuts on a character)

This book has been a thousand different books in all kinds of settings, plots, lessons, etc, and that's because I've had these characters since I was in middle school. At first I was so obsessed with them that I'd write and draw them all the time, to the point that my teachers were concerned I wasn't paying attention. I was seriously into magic and fantasy at the time because Harry Potter books were still the epitome of writing to my middle school brain. Ruby was a wizard with a bird theme that lived in the countryside and one day found out that her town was "alive" in a sense... But after I lost that sketchbook with all of the details (devastated to this day), and started venturing into other books series and shows, etc, I sort of forgot about the og story or what it was like. What remained was a love for the characters I had made over anything else about them, so I'd end up writing stories with a different theme each time, but the ocs being the same, just with their backgrounds shifted. (Around the time I was obsessed with VLD, Ruby was in a sci-fi plot set on a planet in another solar system.)

One of the most recent iterations was Ruby and the other characters essentially struggling to understand death, life, and everything in between. The story is called "Behind the Blue Glass" and I still really like that title lol. All of them had died on the same day, at the same time, just in various different ways, and then all of them came back to life in the same manner. They all developed different powers from the experience: Liam could float/manipulate gravity), August's body was essentially a phantom that could go through objects and disappear, Vin could possess people, Jean had an empathy link with the dead and could talk to and see them clearly, and Maya could figure out someone's cause of death/also tell when people were about to die. As for Ruby, she's the only one who can move freely between the land of the living and the land of the dead. It's different from Jean seeing the dead, as she's still in the land of the living.

The plot of that story was Ruby having dreams/visions of these other people she had never met before and knowing she needed to find them and set "something" right, but she didn't know what. She sets out to find them anyways, and they each join her on her quest to find everyone simply because they never got an answer to how they came back from the dead and find it weird that they all died on the same day and time. They solve deaths of ghosts they come across, meet people who are still grieving lost ones, have to lay some of the ghosts down to rest- all while figuring out why these shady people have started following them and trying to stop them from figuring out what happened to them. I even made some first draft titles (definitely, 10000% inspired by PJO because I was reading it at the time):

to top it all off, it's set in the 2010's I believe? Around that time. Just because I think more books should write about the time era

I have some (recentish) art of the characters:

first image: (Liam on the right, August on the left)

this is what Ruby looked like when I was first designing them for the story:

They're meant to look dead-ish but this art was SO long ago when I wasn't confident in my art so Ruby just looks like a wet rat or smth idk what is going on here

And here's Vin!! I don't hate this drawing of him that much, surprisingly, but this was also drawn a while ago

and this was some art i was planning at the time:

i think that's all of the art that i have for this story (at least on this computer. My old laptop might have more but it's been laid to rest)

to be honest, i'm still thinking about writing this story, but Ruby's name would be changed because at this point, this iteration of her character is VERY different from present day. She's two different characters at this point 💀 that's how you know I've had her for SO long because she looks so different from her original drawings.

The latest version of Ruby ended up in a story with completely different characters in the cast and a completely different setting (even if some of the characters were inspired by their og versions). It's called "The Clocktower's Chime"

It's very much inspired by those reincarnation manhwas. I like those stories but they all have the same plot over and over, and while I was more interested in the versions where the character is sent back in time to live their life again but with all the knowledge they had in the future, I always struggled with the aspect that the characters' mental age is far older than they are. It makes the dynamics a little weird, but they can be excused unless it's a romantic dynamic, I would think? I dunno, it was hard to get into the plots mostly because of that.

So I used Ruby as a placeholder OC and came up with a story where upon their death in the future, someone casts a spell or a god sends them back, and instead of having a mental older age, they get a journal with all of the details of their future. Ruby woke up one day and found a journal written by herself that detailed everything about her future up to the point of her death. It was more like a book, however, rather than a journal. It just looked like a journal because it was in her handwriting.

So Ruby gets this book, doesn't believe it at all, until she notices that there are way too many "coincidences" lining up with the events of the book. She starts believing it could be true, and then decides it must be when she finds out that a prominent family in the country she lives in is going to visit her hometown. In the book, they were there because they learned that Ruby was their daughter that had been kidnapped as a baby and believed dead. However, in the book, Ruby had spent her entire life living as a weapon instead of a daughter, and she died by their hands when she refused to kill a woman that is prophesized to end a war that would devastate both countries.

Ruby is, like, 12 at that point. So her kid brain is like "obviously I run away and go to school in a different country and tell everyone I have a different name and there's no way this could go wrong." Except before she can even do that, she runs into Julias Parlia, a Duke's son from the country that is supposed to be her enemy in the future. Ruby is like "shit this is THE worst adult to run into and I haven't even gotten to the running away part of my plan" and Julias ends up being the reason she doesn't even get to the train station. He's fucking hilarious by the way. He's got a well adjusted family with two loving parents and a bunch of little siblings and he basically picks Ruby up by the scruff of her neck and is like "I want this one she's insane."

This is Julias (kneeling on the ground to talk to Ruby) and Emelie (Julias' knight and childhood friend, she's so silly)

and this is the part where I share art from many months ago... when I posted my most recent art and said Ruby keeps getting buffer every time I draw her, I meant it 💀

Ruby and her love interest, Cecelia

This is Vekenti, a character that was also supposed to be a "villain" in the original timeline. Ruby goes looking for him to prevent his death as well, and Julias obviously is like "Omg another weird kid, how delightful!" Everyone thinks Vikenti and Ruby are related, but they are not. They're just raised as siblings in both timelines and have a lot of the same mannerisms

Julias' love interest (unnamed? I can't find her name anywhere) and him

REALLLY old drawings of what they looked like in the OG timeline (I desperately need to redesign these because I could do better now)

Julias and Ruby again

and that's all the art I have for this one (besides the other post of Ruby I posted today, this is the story that that version of Ruby belongs in. She's looks very different now!).

All of this has been in the back of my mind for a while, and I've been trying to figure out which story I would want to write first. Middle school Erin would love for me to finally write Behind the Blue Glass, but sometimes I find myself wanting to write a fantasy story like Clocktower's Chime a lot more

[tcwmatchmakingau]

Third Time’s the Charm

Captain Rex x Gen!Reader One-Shot

Summary: The war is over, and the Republic has won. Rex signed up for a matchmaking service and you’re meeting for a third date. Basically just Rex fluff and him being nervous and awkward lol.

Rating/Warnings: SFW with kissing, making out, slight suggestiveness.

Word count: 1800-2000ish

Author’s Note: This is a two in one, baby! Not only is it a submission the the Clone Matchmaking AU @tcwmatchmakingau (pls read the other fics that have been submitted!) but also a prompt from @freesia-writes ! The prompt: “kiss me again, but- mphh" from the kissing prompts list. Idk how I feel about this one but I gotta get it out of my drafts.

Please enjoy and reblogs/comments are always appreciated. I just want to kiss Rex, okay? 💕

Rex was pacing, his nerves almost completely shot. He checked the time every few seconds, subtly breathing into his palm to make sure his breath didn’t stink. He smoothed out his civvies, hoping they weren’t too wrinkly.

Shockingly to Rex, you had agreed to meet for a third date.

He was excited, yes. But also incredibly nervous.

Rex liked you.

A lot.

Rex never thought he’d get this far.

He didn’t know what to expect when he reluctantly accepted the first date match from Right to Love Matchmaking Service.

Rex had heard about it from some of his brothers but wasn’t sure it was for him.

Who would want a washed-up soldier? He also knew nothing about dating. Sure, he’s had a few quick flings and stolen kisses in the back of 79s when he was a cadet. But now, the thought of putting himself out there, looking for something serious while having strangers match him with another stranger… sounded like a recipe for disaster.

On the other hand, now that the war was over, companionship did sound nice. And a few of his brothers have had success with the service…

He continuously tossed around the idea, a few times half-filling out the Holonet application before deleting it, the fear of the unknown getting the best of him.

Rex even walked by the building once, Right to Love flashing in neon lights, almost stepping inside before his nerves sent him in the other direction.

It wasn’t until a few weeks ago, when Fives and Echo invited him to a “boy's night out” for drinks, that he was convinced.

Or more like the alcohol did the convincing for him.

One drink turned into two, then three, and somehow the conversation switched to the matchmaking service.

Both Fives and Echo had girlfriends now, having met through Right to Love.

Rex has met them a few times, and they did seem like good partners, and Fives and Echo were happier than he’d ever seen them.

He was proud of them for moving on from the war and finding happiness. Rex couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy sometimes, wondering if he’ll ever get to experience that, too.

Rex mentioned how he’s been thinking about signing up for Right to Love, and that’s how they persuaded him to fill out the digital application right there with them at the bar.

“Aw c’mon Rex!” Fives clapped Rex’s shoulder. “You should try it out. Anyone is lucky to have you!”

Fives took a large swig of beer, slammed it down, and pulled out his datapad.

“The application is easy. I don’t know how they do it, but they work some kind of magic. My girl is perfect, the woman of my dreams. I don’t think I would have ever found someone like her without them!” Fives shoved his datapad over to Rex, wiggling his eyebrows. “You don’t even have to go in person. Let us help you, vod!”

A few more sips of liquid courage later, Rex was pressing submit on his application while Fives and Echo cheered him on.

The rowdy night continued, and Rex quickly forgot all about it.

Rex didn’t remember he followed through until the next morning when a notification chimed on his terminal.

He woke from his deep sleep, still recovering from the night before, reading the message with blurry eyes and a headache.

Dear Rex,

Thank you for choosing Right to Love Matchmaking Service, where everyone deserves the right to companionship!

We have received your application and are processing your submission.

A matchmaking representative will be reaching out to you shortly. Have a wonderful day!

Rex’s brain almost short-circuited, the hazy memory of Fives and Echo helping him fill out the form coming back to him.

Those kriffing di’kuts!

Rex panicked momentarily, not sure if he was ready for this. But he thought of how happy his brothers were, and maybe it was finally time for him to step out of his comfort zone.

Rex commanded battalions alongside Jedi in life-or-death situations, and yet here he was, afraid to go on one singular date.

To Rex’s surprise, the whole process was easier than expected. The representative that reached out to him was nice, eased some of his worries, and answered all the questions he had. At the end of the conversation, the representative said they already had a match for him.

You.

To his even greater surprise, your first date went fine.

Fantastic, even.

Rex was an anxious mess leading up to meeting you in person, but you were kind, patient, compassionate, everything he would want in a partner.

It was almost like this matchmaking service did its job.

The next morning after your first date, you comm’d him asking to meet again, saying you had a good time.

Rex responded immediately with a resounding yes, hoping he wasn’t coming off as too desperate.

Your second date was even better than the first, learning more about one another, and you talked for hours.

You both hadn’t realized how late it had gotten and completely lost track of time. The restaurant you met at for lunch was now finishing up the dinner rush, you two the last ones in the eatery.

Rex walked you back to your apartment, and you hugged him as you said good night.

Maker, he couldn’t stop thinking about the hug. How warm and soft you felt against him. How he could smell the faint floral aroma of your shampoo. How your eyes shined as you whispered good night. He couldn’t stop thinking about you, Rex was completely smitten.

He was feeling the pressure now, waiting for you to meet him in front of the Coruscant Botanical Gardens where you planned to meet for your date.

Rex was low-key fretting about what came next. Another hug? Maybe holding your hand? A kiss?

Rex swallowed thickly.

He wanted to take things slow and didn’t want you to feel pressured into anything.

If a quick hug from you made him feel this good, he couldn’t even imagine what a kiss would be like.

He could feel his palms begin to sweat. Before he could spiral anymore, he heard his name.

You were walking toward him, a large smile on your face.

“Hey, Rex!” You waved, stepping up to him. You stopped, hesitating for a moment. Little did Rex know, you were having the same thoughts. Maker, he’s so handsome, I want to kiss him! I hope he wasn’t weirded out by the hug from a few nights ago…but he agreed to meet me again so I guess I didn’t scare him off…

“I’ve lived on Coruscant my whole life, and never been to the gardens. Funny how that happens sometimes.” You laughed.

Rex nodded stiffly.

“I’ve never been here, either. But I’m glad we can experience it for the first time together.”

You blushed at his words, Rex’s ears feeling hot at his admission.

You smiled again. “Me too, Rex. Shall we?”

The gardens were huge and seemingly endless, growing flora from hundreds of planets. Rex was able to point out some, recognizing them from the war. He was well-traveled because of it.

You enjoyed hearing him speak of his past, his brothers, and the sometimes downright insane feats he was involved with during the war.

Your conversation was always easy, like you’ve known one another for years. You couldn’t believe how perfect he was and how comfortable you felt around him.

Was it too good to be true, though?

You wandered for a while, keeping up conversation. You eventually sat on a bench in a massive greenhouse, admiring the lush greenery around you.

You were silent for a few moments, Rex wondering if this was his chance.

He wanted to kiss you. He was going to ask you. He was a soldier, no, a Captain, dammit! He should have the courage to do this!

Rex took in a breath, knowing he had to get over his anxiety and just take the leap. It was now or never.

You heard Rex’s inhale and you felt worry stir in your gut. Here we go, he’s going to tell me he doesn’t want to meet again. The classic “it has been really fun but…”

“I’ve…enjoyed our dates.” Rex turned to you. “And I’ve enjoyed getting to know you. So, thank you.”

You raised your eyebrows, meeting his gaze, surprised at his comment.

“Rex, you don’t have to thank me. I’ve been enjoying them too. I like you a lot.” You fidgeted a little, blushing. Maybe I didn’t screw things up!

You took your own breath, continuing.

“I didn’t know what to expect when I signed up for the dating service…I went on some bad dates a while back and was kind of fed up with it all, you know? But I’m glad I took the chance on you.”

Rex felt some confidence rush through his veins. “Really?” He asked.

“You’re easy to talk to, kind, a good listener. Not to mention a complete gentlemen. It’s hard to find that.” Your cheeks were hot at your own words, suddenly too embarrassed to look him in the eye.

“I like you a lot, too.” Rex’s voice was low, and you felt something brush against your hand on the bench, looking down, and saw Rex’s hand barely touching yours.

You moved your hand closer, and Rex took your hand in his. You thought your heart might leap straight out of your chest. His hand was calloused, yet warm. Comforting.

“You’re brilliant, remarkable. Not to mention the most beautiful person I’ve ever met. I…I’m so happy I met you.”

“Oh, Rex…you mean that?” You’ve never had a man say those words to you with such sincerity.

“More than anything in my life. Can…can I ask you something?” Rex was almost whispering. You nodded, eyes wide, wondering what he wanted to say next.

“Can I kiss you?” Rex was gazing right at you, his heart pounding in his ears.

Warmth blossomed in your chest, entwining your fingers with his. You couldn’t keep the grin from spreading on your face, and Rex saw how your features lit up like the Tattooine suns.

“Yes…Rex. I thought you’d never ask.”

Rex could see the colors of the bright flowers that surrounded you in your eyes as he leaned toward you.

Rex stopped centimeters from your lips, bringing his free hand to tenderly cup the side of your face. Your breath hitched at the gentle gesture, your eyes fluttering closed in bliss as he shyly brushed his lips against yours.

For Rex, the world melted away. Did he die and go to heaven? Because that’s how he felt when your hand moved to his shoulder, your unbelievably soft lips pressing back into his in a chaste kiss.

All of his anxieties dissipated, forgetting why was so nervous about this date in the first place, all he could think about was you and how lucky he was in this moment.

You pulled away after what could have been hours, your eyes hooded, looking up at him, smiling, realizing you were still holding hands.

“Rex…” The way his name fell from your lips, husky and almost sensual, ignited a fire in him. He wanted to hear it again and again.

Rex released his hand from yours, bringing it to your other cheek, cradling your head with both his hands now with such reverence you thought you might faint.

“Was…was that ok?” He murmured, wanting more, but didn’t want to push your boundaries in any way.

“Yes…kiss me again, Rex. Pleas-mph!” Rex quickly slid his mouth against yours, still cradling your head as your arms wrapped around him, your words cut short by his lips.

The kiss was deep, passionate, just like him. You sighed against his mouth, Rex using the opportunity to sweetly lick your bottom lip, politely asking for entrance.

You eagerly obliged, excited by his newfound confidence. His tongue entered your mouth, eliciting another satisfied sigh from you and a groan from Rex. Your body to trembled against his in fervor, feeling his muscles flex under your hands.

Your lungs began to burn, needing oxygen but not wanting this kiss to end.

Your mouths moved as one, gripping one another like you were the last two people in the Galaxy.

You let out a small whine as Rex pulled away, both your lips swollen from the intensity, your faces flushed and your bodies on fire.

“Wow…” was all you could mutter, as Rex’s hands fell from your flushed face. “That was…”

“Incredible?” He mumbled. You nodded in agreement, leaning into him. Rex wrapped his arm around you, still seated on the bench.

“I’ve been wanting to do this since we first met,” Rex admitted, his thumb slowly caressing your arm.

You were quickly turning into mush seeing this new, romantic side of Rex emerge.

“Me too.” You couldn’t help but giggle, giddy at what had just taken place.

Rex brought you into him, embracing you in a hug, silently thanking his brothers for making him take the plunge and sign up for this dating service.

“I think we’ve seen enough plants for one day. Want to come back to my place?” You asked, nuzzling against his chest. “We could make dinner and watch a Holomovie?”

“I’d love to,” Rex answered as you looked up at him. “I’d really love to.” Rex hasn’t been sure about much since the war ended, trying to find purpose and meaning in a new Galaxy.

He was sure about one thing now, and it was you.

Taglist: @pb-jellybeans @dukeoftheblackstar @king-chaos-world @523rdrebel @wanderer-six @the-cantina

[wannabevampire]

hello my vampires!

it’s allie! i don’t know how many of you remember me (goodness knows i don’t blame you considering i’ve been gone for TWO YEARS!!). but in case you forgot i use to write fanfics on here! mainly marvel, i was probably most known for writing fics about druig and matt murdock!

my life has changed A LOT since then. i moved across the country, started studying at my dream school in my dream program (#allieinstem), lived in THREE different apartments and dealt with oh so much roommate drama, became a bit of a party girl for a moment, worked a lot of different jobs, and fell in love :)

as we all know the world has FINALLY woken up and realized how hot Barry Keoghan is!! and a few weeks ago i caught myself thinking “huh i wonder what happened to that old tumblr account i ran that had over a thousand followers where i was a complete whore on the internet and wrote fan fics constantly??”.

i “abandoned” this account over two years ago, but I still think about it every now and then. i left suddenly and without notice for a multitude of reasons, but without getting too specific i was going through some insanely drastic life changes and my mental health wasn't the best.

I have retyped this post so many times because I'm not sure what to say! But I've been thinking about this account and how much it meant to me. As well as remembering my wonderful mutuals who were always so sweet, funny, and supportive <3

life has been really tough recently, not bad just…hard. and i remember how cathartic this community was for me. i’ve mentioned this before, but english is my second language and my writing has always been a huge insecurity of mine. and yet I felt so welcomed here and it gave me so many opportunities to write for fun!

to see that my fics, blurbs, and slutty fantasies are still being reblogged is so crazy and it makes me very happy! i'm not sure if i'll start writing again but i guess we’ll see :)

(regardless i might reblog a bunch of my old druig/barry content because of the current barry renaissance lol)

side note: went through my drafts and found an old matt murdock fic that i never posted???? it’s like 3.5k words lol and it's almost finished. so weird seeing my old work but like…should i post??

if you remember me at all or are interested in my old work please reach out to me! mutual, nonnie, follower, literally anyone!! i’d love to see how this little corner of the internet is doing <3

as always…

xoxo,

allie 🕊️

p.s. I have such a strong urge to reach out to my old mutuals who are still active because you guys are all such talented writers but I don't know if that would be weird since it's been so long! ahh!!! should I?? please say hi!!!

p.p.s should i post that matt murdock fic??

[ladytauria]

1, 7, 19, and 32 for the ask game please! ❤️❤️

aaah i forgot i hadn't answered this! i thought i had, whoops ^^;

i'm pretty sure these are from the weird asks for writers 🤔 so hopefully im right, lmao

1: What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

I use Crimson Pro; it's a free font I found on Google Fonts, lmao. However, I tend to cycle through fonts. One will capture my attention for a while and then I'll change it again. I do tend to prefer serif fonts at the moment, but I also had a phase where I wrote in nothing but Calibri!

That said, if I can't use my preferred font for whatever reason, I don't mind using either the default font or the closest one I can find in their offerings. The most important thing to me is generally paragraph spacing; I don't like trying to write with a wall of text, and I also don't like having to hit enter twice because I don't enjoy cleaning that up when I go to paste anywhere dfghjkl

7: What is your deepest joy about writing?

I looove when I come up with a satisfying turn of phrase or metaphor! Or just... playing with words in general; puzzling out how to describe things or how someone would phrase what I want them to say. This is also what I sometimes find the most difficult & exasperating too, though xD

19: Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

I've been writing since I was small. I remember using construction paper to make a picture book about a dog who---if I remember right?---became a superhero, lol. I also remember using a previous year's calendar to create a picture book as well; trying to find a narrative to string through the pictures they used for each month. (It was a horse calendar, if you're curious.)

I don't have either of those anymore, but.

However, I would say that my writing journey actually started when I was 10-11. My parents had set-up a family/kids computer in the living room, and I basically lived on it dfghjkl I started writing my first book. It wasn't great and the concept was ripped off from the Inheritance Cycle since I was obsessed with it at the time. The second was a little more original xD

Mm... And then a couple years later I was working on something different and decided to look for a place to post it. I found FanFiction.Net, which wasn't really the right place, but it DID get me started writing fic. And THEN after a few years of that I decided to seriously focus on original fiction again, because it's always been my dream to publish, lol.

Where am I now... I'm very happy with my writing voice. I can read over my stuff and only cringe at the occasional typo or wonky phrase, which is really nice. I'm still working toward getting published... in theory. I've been putting off revising/refining/rewriting my first draft, lmao.

32: What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

This is a hard one to answer 🤔 While I do tend to find phrases and such that I like, I don't know that I return to them specifically a lot. It's more a whole body of work dfghjk

Hmm...

Oh! Okay. So, I used to read a lot of fanfic for the anime Ghost Hunt. And there's this one fic, Beneath the Lilac Tree, which has a scene in it that I just ADORE. Two brothers, twins, are eating dinner together at a hotel and as they're conversing, they---switch plates? Offer the other food off their plate? It's been a while and I don't remember the specific action BUT it stuck with me? And I think about it all the time. It struck me as just this lovely moment of familiarity and intimacy, and I remember coming back to that fic and rereading it a lot, in part for that scene xD

Thank you so much for asking!!

[bomberqueen17]

bad dream

I woke up this morning (edit-- yesterday morning, valentine's day, i forgot and left this half-drafted) and had another hour and a half to sleep so I rolled over and went back to sleep.

predictably, dream log

I dreamed I was-- somewhere, with-- someone? maybe my family? And we all met up in the hallway to go down to breakfast. There was a spiral staircase, and there were two separate cafeteria/restaurants, one that was two floors down and one that was three floors down. I was at the back of the group with my middle-little sister, and she was going slow for some reason. By the time we got two floors down, i couldn't tell whether the rest of the group had stopped at this floor or continued. We went into the restaurant on that floor and couldn't find them-- looked around, didn't see them-- they must have continued, I hadn't heard what the final decision was. So M-L and I went back out to the stairwell and went down to the other restaurant, but we didn't see them there either. This time we asked the staff, who hadn't seen them. "Please can you just text them," I said to M-L. For some reason I had an unfamiliar phone, with like a T-9 keyboard, very unwieldy and I was uncomfortable with it. "No I'm sure we just missed them upstairs," said M-L, and so I followed her back up the stairs. I don't do well without eating, I need to eat pretty promptly when I wake up, and in real life going up and down some stairs wouldn't kill me but in the dream I was starting to get tired and draggy and woozy like I do when I haven't eaten, and so I dragged myself back into that first restaurant and looked all over for them and this time we asked the staff and they hadn't seen them either. Oh but there was a third place you could get food, it's possible they'd gone there, said the staff. I was sure they hadn't, we hadn't even been considering that one, surely they'd have checked in with us-- "Please just text them," I begged M-L, and she said something and then I turned around and couldn't find her. She was gone too, she'd gone through a door or something and I just hadn't noticed. I dithered, then-- did I just give up and get a bagel here, this place had to-go food, it would be super weird to show up to family brunch having just eaten but I was really suffering and needed food, and-- I couldn't find my sister now, where did everyone go? I was getting frantic, and went out into the hallway to collect myself. And then my unfamiliar phone went off and it was a video from my family showing themselves doing the toast to my departed father that was the whole reason we'd been getting together for brunch in the first place, and I was so distraught and I was trying to text them back and then I realized that it had been a groupchat to the entire extended family and friends who weren't there so they were acting like I hadn't come along with them at all but worst of all M-L was in the video so she'd found them without me but hadn't told me where she'd gone and I was so horribly distressed I woke up.

So I got out of bed and have been trying to go about my day but that kind of thing lingers, eh? It's dumb, as nightmares go, but well, there you have like all of my fears and insecurities, that's not a hard one to interpret. I feel like I save so much money on therapy by just having really basic-ass problems, LOL. Like, everybody fears being left behind you can just Google that one.

anyway i forgot to post this so i've had a day to recover and i still think that shit was fucked-up. deepest sympathies to people who have worse nightmares than that. i mentioned it in the family groupchat as we were talking about something else and mom was sympathetic and said she wished she could invite me over right now, which is more emotional than she usually is. maybe we're all getting soft in our old age.

[captainskyson]

AO3 Q&A

Saw this from @talldecafcappuccino a while back and saved it for later, mucho life happened and I forgot about it, then just found it again in my drafts and thought “hey, it’s been a long time since I’ve done a Tumblr q&a post. Why not.”

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

132

2. What’s your current Ao3 word count?

1,803,382

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

On Ao3, 7 - but I can think of 3 more off the top of my head that never saw the light of the Internet. A handful are just one-offs, too. But the full list I can think of, most-prolific to least, is: Agents of SHIELD, Buffy, The Blacklist, Harry Potter, The Man in the High Castle, Longmire, CSI, MCU, Ted Lasso.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

GH-325 (Agents of SHIELD) - my first baby! I hadn’t finished, due to show circumstances and becoming a bit disillusioned to writing for it (the show, not the ship), but I refuse to give it up. It’s still a wip, just in long hiatus. Too many people have supported this one over the years for me to give it up… despite the apologetically loooong hiatus.

I Need A Bad Idea (BtVS) - my true baby; this fic is a beast. It’s ridiculous. When I first surpassed GH-325 word count numbers I wondered what the hell I was doing - now well beyond, I just roll with the chaos. I deeply appreciate the love on this one because I’d still be doing this nonsense even without it - so it’s very encouraging to have it. ❤️

Sweet Nothings (The Blacklist) - to be honest, I’m just now discovering this is my #3 kudos’d fic. A pleasant surprise! This one was pure fun to write, and I’m more than pleased to give Lizzington shippers something positive to indulge in, considering… everything.

A Cover Is Not The Book (BtVS) - one of my earlier BG fics. A fully light-hearted story which I know can be rare for these two haha.

Secrets and Surprises (Agents of SHIELD/MCU) - my indulgent attempt at writing a Tony Stark-Daisy Johnson friendship - FUN. Also, of course, Lola is a main feature. 😍🚘

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not.

I try to! Even if it’s just a thank you - I really do appreciate every single comment on a story and I like to try and show that. Sometimes I accidentally miss some, but yeah usually I do my best to respond.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I don’t do angst very well. I’ve been told otherwise (😅) but I’m just a sucker for my happy (or at least hopeful) endings. Two of my Buffy fics, Shrike and Beloved, are pretty angsty UNTIL the end… lol.

7. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not as a habit. Technically a few of my AoS fics could count as crossovers, even though I’m firmly of the belief that SHIELD *is* just as canon as the rest of the MCU (Or it was??? I lost track of the plot after season 6.) A number of years ago I wrote a Buffy/MCU crossover fic that just makes me laugh now… it’s a little nuts, as it spawned from a weird dream I had haha. It was actually also my first Ao3 posting for my beloved ship…

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Oh yes. The most hateful comments tend to spawn elsewhere, but I’ve had two or three silly-gooses forget that they have a ‘back’ button on their Ao3 browser. 99.9% of the time Ao3 is a lovely community though. But I also tend to live in smaller corners of fandoms, we keep to ourselves. 🤙

9. Do you write smut?

Does one make lemonade out of lemons? 🤣 🍋🍋🍋

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yessss - Lemon Giles! I am deeply proud of this collab. It was one of the most magical writing experiences of my life. Two people, a shared Google doc, opposite time zones and a chaotic level of shippy feels 😂 It was so much fun.

12. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Oof magoof. This is a tough one. My knee-jerk reaction is to go BG, as that’s definitely been the most affecting ship in my life (as far as real-life friendships and relationships made and heroes met and goals inspired etc). But Grissom-Sara from CSI: Las Vegas has been close to my heart for an even longer time. I also deeply adore Longmire-Vic… it’s not often a tv show follows the books (sort of), and/or canonizes your otp. At least, not when it’s any of *my* otps hahaha.

13. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

If my memory serves, I first wrote for CSI, but I first posted online for Harry Potter. On Ao3 specifically, my first posted fic was for Agents of SHIELD.

14. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Oh dang it, I cannot pick one answer here. I have different reasons for favourites: “Shrike”, because a friend and I actually had that one printed and bound (for funsies and a gift to a fellow friend, not for dough) and my copy ended up read and signed by someone I adore. The Infinite, because Coulson-Mace was a ship fandom of like, five (bless you), and I’ve never felt Mama-Bear about a ship before, but those boys are just… so much to me. Plus, working on that story had helped me mourn a sudden real-life death of someone close to me. “I Need A Bad Idea” is my favourite in regards to the amount of work I put into that one. It’s so satisfying when all the research and brainstorms and notes come together into a ready-to-post chapter.

[landososcar]

wonderland ; LN4

pairing(s) ; lando norris x bookworm!reader

summary ; in which lando’s girlfriend loves books and lando loves whatever she does

warnings ; nothing but pure fluff :)

note ; lol this is short but i found it in my drafts from ages ago & i completely forgot i had written it lmfao (++ the title is irrelevant, i couldn’t think of one and i love this song so i was like that’ll do)

twitter !

instagram ; lando.jpg

liked by oscarpiastri, flonorris1 and others

lando.jpg she said she didn’t have enough pics to fulfil your photo dump dreams so here are some pics to make up for your lack of y/n lately

view all comments

flonorris1 you’re OBSESSED

landonorris what’s your point

user1 lando get OFF your knees

user2 he had all of these in his camera roll😭😭

user3 better yet he probs took them all

user4 what was she reading ??

landonorris in the second pic she was reading to me and it was little women (of course). in the 4th pic im not sure what book it is but ill ask her now

landonorris she said the book in the 4th pic is called ‘throttled’ by lauren asher

user5 omg who’s gonna tell him what y/n was reading

user6 SHE WAS READING THROTTLED YHATS SO ICONIC😭😭😭😭

oscarpiastri landonorris mate lily just told me what throttled is i think you should google it

user6 the difference between little women and throttled is so funny i love y/n’s taste in books😭

user7 i would die for her

olivernorris1 yourusername this man is so obsessed with you it’s actually hilarious

yourusername i 🫶 my obsessed boyfie

user8 y/n we (your children) miss you come back home

instagram ; yourusername

liked by carlossainz55, lilymhe and others

yourusername hell was the journey but it brought me heaven 🩵

view all comments

user1 MOTHER IS BACK 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

user2 omg who’s kid is that

user3 it’s y/n’s little brother

user4 THATS SO ADORABLE😭😭

landonorris you’re so obsessed with me

yourusername LOL ok mr whole jpg post dedicated to me

landonorris i said you were obsessed with me, i never denied being obsessed with you

flonorris1 you’re so so beautiful i miss you so much😭

yourusername STOP IT I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU MORE THAN ANHTHING

flonorris1 landonorris fly me and cisca out to bahrain pls bestie

landonorris ok just bc i know how badly my sisters wanna see me race

ciscanorris1 HAHAHHAHA ok yes sure

user5 i love the way she is with his sisters omg😭

lilymhe i miss you gf😭😭🫶

yourusername im in the uk next week pls tell me you are too

lilymhe OMG message me right now

user6 HE😭SENT😭HER😭MOON😭PICS😭

user7 more importantly HE😭LOOKED😭AT😭THE😭MOON😭AND😭THOUGHT😭OF😭HER😭

user8 shut up i’m gonna be sick

user9 omg where’d you get your tattoo i want a taylor lyric and yours is so so nice

yourusername avastattooparlour is the only person i’ll ever let tattoo me 🥰 i would trust them with my life please go see ava, they’re incredible 😭😭

yourusername just added to their story !

seen by landonorris, francisca.cgomes and others

landonorris replied to your story!

→ babe what is this

→ WHO said you were allowed to look that fine

→ have you been hacked

→ are you reading binding 13 AGAIN

→ no

→ i’ve already reread it, im up to keeping 13

→ dear god

landonorris is live on twitch !

[transcript]

[LN: hey chat we’re gonna play some games tonight i’m just waiting for y/n to bring me snacks.]

[LN: yes yes y/n will be here soon guys chill out.]

[LN: “we want y/n” yes guys i know you like my girlfriend more than you like me but chill out.]

[YN: chat know i’m the best i don’t know what to tell you.

LN: thank you for the food baby but can you stop stealing chat’s attention.]

[YN: okay guys i'm gonna go before lan starts crying because we love each other more than we love him.

LN: stop flirting with my chat and go read your book.]

[LN: "what is she going to go read?" uhh i think she's rereading the binding 13 series for the thousandth time. it's like her favourite books of all time and she always rants to me about them.]

[LN: no chat you don't understand, it got to a point where i read the books because she was ranting about them so much and i just wanted to be able to understand what she was talking about.]

[LN: anyways, let's start playing some games before max yells at me for making him wait.

MF: mate you're obsessed with her.]

twitter !

my other works !

[derekgoffard]

Thinking about a dream I had a while ago where the tpof beta was released but it was just. btd2 except the basement wasn't in Ren's house and to torture Mc we had to drive around looking for people who'd let us use their basements

[lilblueorchid]

Thought process and easter egg on the Digimon Anniversary Illustration! 

Hello everyone, today I feel like explaining some stuff over my Digimon Illustration, mostly why I drew thing this way or point out some little details and easter eggs you might have missed. ;)

Click on read more if you want a LENGTHLY explanation with a lot of rambling from me, or if not you can just enjoy the process gif. <3 

The Digimon illustration was a special one for me for different reasons. Firstly, obviously, Digimon! It was a show I grew up with, and I find it quite fitting that after a tough year of graduation movie under a pandemic, in which I really experienced the pain of growing up, I ended up finding back Digimon. 

Secondly, as a child, I remember spending HOURS looking for fanarts online! I would save all the ones I found pretty and keep them preciously, i still have the folders actually haha. While pursuing art, I always had in mind thatI wanted one day to make a fanart my child self would have gone crazy over! And, i think I achieved that with that one haha. 

Anyway LET’S START! Shall we? 

First off : the illustration process

When I do an illustration I always do a quick draft first, and most of the time, in colors. I think I’m more of a “color” person than a “line” person, I tend to need to see colors quickly in order to see if it’s ok. 

For this one, I’ve always had in mind it would be a double illustration, with the older Tai’s silhouette acting as a frame for the children illustration. It was a bit tricky, I had to make the children illustration fit nicely into his silhouette, it was hassle around the neck area, that’s why I made little Taichi stand up haha. Also used Mimi’s hat to balance the picture : the bottom part is very heavy and there’s only sky in the upper part, adding the hat helps making it more balanced. 

The character were the longest and the most challenging part by far. As you can see I had 3 different steps : super rough, they’re almost like stickmen and smiley face, a more detailled one in which I figure out their actual pose and anatomy, then a last one in which I fix some proportion, add details and clean. Fun fact I don’t clean over a new layer... i just erase the unwanted part of my sketch. :’D

I did a quick pass over the BG after that, then I colored the characters in flat colors before rendering them. It was a back and forth between the BG and the characters to make sure everything was working together nicely. 

Now was the time to render the BG, I did the tramway first, the flower field after. Fun fact, I did my flower field study in order to know how to approach the flowers in this illustration! If your have the time, i totally recommend finding a photograph close to the kind of BG you wanna do, and make a study of it so you can try your hand at it first and go into your own BG later with an idea of how to approach this.

Adjust colors, add flower petals and butterflies and emotional text, slap over a paper texture, and THERE. You have it! On to the next part now...

The meaningful details and easter eggs

Be aware there will be spoilers for Digimon Adventure 01 (but I assume you already know it), but also for Digimon Adventure : Last evolution Kizuna, which is the conclusion of the first serie. So read at your own risk! 

The tramway is obviously a reference to the end of Digimon Adventure 01. The kids used it to go back to their world, so It was their goodbye to their Digimon at this moment. In Kizuna, Tai and Matt find the tramway trapped in crystal in Menoa’s fake memory world. Hinting that had they been caught by her, their memories would have brought them back here.

Tailmon has Kari’s whistle! At the end of Digimon Adventure 01, Kari gives it to her as a memento. 

When I drew Sora, I had in mind how she was in Kizuna, very stressed out by her mom’s expectation, which led her to neglect Piyomon. She realized it too late, and after that she refused to fight because she wanted to keep Piyomon with her as long as possible. Tragically, she was the first one to lose her Digimon. Here I tried to convey a softness and a kind of “I won’t forget to appreciate you” vibe in the way she holds Piyomon’s hand. As for Mimi and Palmon, in Digimon adventure 01 Palmon was very emotionally affected by Mimi’s departure, so, a hug was fitting. :’) 

The screens on the Tramway display DA for Digimon Adventure, and also 01.08.1999 which is the date of the children’s journey’s beginning. :) 

The little drawings also show the 8 crests. 

There are butterflies flying over the illustration, it’s a reference to Butter-fly, the first Digimon opening, by the late Koji Wada. 

"I'll become a happy butterfly, and ride on the glittering wind, I'll come and see you soon. “

Now, let’s the see the counterpart of the illustration. The one with the grown up Tai from Kizuna.

I made him wear the hoodie he had in his very last adventure with Agumon.... but truthfully the reason is that I think hoodies are cool lol. And the hood’s volume gave me more space in the silhouette, which made it easier for me to do the other illustration inside.

You don’t see it clearly, but he is holding his Digivice, albeit the darkened version once his partner bond with Agumon is broken. The Tai in this illustration has already lost Agumon. (Yes it was painful for me to go fetch the screenshots)

He is also holding his dear signature google he used to wear as a child. Fun fact, I rewatched the older movies, and as a kid he even used to sleep with it, how cute haha. 

Also yes, the crest of Courage over his hand, which is his own. I’m so dumb I realize I should have made the time counter from the movie instead of the crest for a maximum emotional hurt impact. 

And the quote is from one of the trailer for Kizuna, I think.....................

But then you go : Oh that illustration is so depressing then! Well. Yes. But no. but yes. But not really. 

One of my favorite shot of the movie is this one : this is after Tai and Agumon learn their time together is limited. Agumon asks him if they will have to go separate ways once Tai is all grown up. Tai doesn’t answer, and takes him to eat something instead, as Agumon was hungry. In this shot Agumon eats to his heart content next to Tai, who’s not eating at all and just watches him fondly. I love that the framing doesnt show agumon. It’s a foreshadowing of their unavoidable separation. 

At the very end of the movie, Tai write in his thesis about Human and Digimon’s relationship that Agumon was like a part of himself.

In a way, Agumon symbolizes childhood, the carefree days we would spend as a kid, with our big dreams and hopes. When you grow up, you tend to forget those simple emotions because you get swallowed into the stress of studies, figuring out your carreer, your life path. Just like us, Tai forgot this part of himself. In the madness of growing up, he lost Agumon. 

However, it’s not the end. He will pick himself back up. He will move forward in life despite his worries and incertainities, and he will find himself again. Therefore, he will find Agumon again. The kids in the illustration are waving goodbye, but it’s not goodbye, it’s a see you later.  In the meantime, Tai is holding on to these precious memories, until they meet again. 

[dontcryminecraft]

I found this in my drafts, cw: venting

i forgot i made this, so take my pissed of venting about c!dream ig. idk feels like a waste to just delete it lol

DON'T TAKE ME SERIOUSLY also i put it under the cut. it is a "cool motive still murder" joke directed toward c!dream in the finale. Again, very character dream anti/neg. I also barely remember making this I stayed up to do schoolwork last night so yeah i made this then

c!dream: I miss the simple times with my friends :(

Me: "cool motive, still manipulating and cutting off those around you, aka your friends, but also specifically abusing and isolating a 16-year-old child because he’s “difficult” and "annoying" fuck you mr. “i was lonely” so was tommy during exile you green fuck, also saying you miss your friends only works if you weren’t the one to WILLINGLY cut them out of your life because “attachments bad”. YOU stepped over the point of no return with your creepy ass Hall of Attachments and controlling nature that turned into a god complex that you still have and don’t give a shit about. You didn’t have to do any of those horrible things so I have zero sympathies go cry about it in a physical and mental prison of your own creation/commission"

So... this turned into a rant lol, but fuck it im annoyed as shit about the finale so take my bitterness.

c!Dream should not have had the last word and Tommy shouldn't have felt bad for killing him in the nuke idgaf

-

SO AGAIN: I found this in my drafts please ignore this lol DON'T TAKE ME SERIOUSLY

[rebelpeas]

idk if this has been asked yet but im REALLY interested in your inspirations. aside from real life experiences tht ur predisposed to, were there any works of media/writing you found (or find currently? idk lol) yourself drawn to when writing dt? personal bias but whenever i find myself really enjoying a work i start to wonder what or who the author was drawing from. ‘even ur heroes have heroes’ u kno. fasc in ating

night in the woods for the overall vibe and eldritch horror in a small town setting, stranger things for ensemble cast and how to handle the plotlines, and, most embarrassingly, my own high school oc storylines for the entire concept. i basically wrote the first draft of this story five years ago about some original characters, forgot about it, and then had a dream about the story, remembered it again, and swapped out all the characters with minecraft men. so now here we are!

i wish i could come up with anything more than that, but i really just… don’t base my inspiration with writing on any particular people/writers? i take vibes from stories i like, but. idk. everything else is such a patchwork i couldn’t tell you where i got any of it LOL

[seacollectsrivers]

@patrickian and i think also @whenwinterfell tagged me <3 (and also @railroad-charmer whose recent own post of this reminded me i had this in my drafts heh)

Nickname: None! Both bc i'm not gonna tell u but also like 1) we don't reeeaaallly do nicknames here and 2) both Bo and my birthname are too short for shortened versions. But ig Sea? No one has called me Sea yet but it's there!

Zodiac: Pisces. Moon? Sun? idk. i'm a March kid.

Height: 1.68m babeyyy

Last movie I saw: Rewatch of Dogma! Still good. Can deffo see their comedic influences from Good Omens and Douglas Adams. Since I drafted this my latest film was a first watch of Donnie Darko. I really liked it!!

Last thing I googled: The cast of Pride 2014, bc i forgot George MacKay's name and a dude in a youth party debate i was watching looked like an off brand version of him lol

Favourite Musician: Right now? Dizraeli

Song stuck in my head: Soldiers by Delara

Other blogs: Nada

Blogs following: 184

Amount of sleep: fuck if i know, my rhythm is whack atm

Lucky number: 9! also my favourite number. i love 9.

What am I wearing: a brown t-shirt that says "Fred, Kjærleik, og Resirkulering", a pair of woolen black shorts, and a black hoodie with my Folkehøyskole name & logo on.

Dream job: I do not know lmaoooo i don't really have long term dreams these days. Just vibing i guess. I do want a job, i just don't have a dream job.

Dream trip: I'm gonna copy Patrick and say New Zealand! Also wanna do another summer train trip but focus more on eastern Europe. And ofc go back to Ireland to visit friends, but that WILL happen, not really a dream. Just a plan!

Favourite food: Anything ovenbaked and cheesy. OOh and i genuinely love reindeer uh.... skav? For anyone who can read this: steike reinsdyrskav og løk og hvitløk, tilsette rømme, salt & pepper, kanskje timian hvis du har, føkkings MWAH fantastisk elsker det.

Play an instrument: I played the saxophone in a school band for 8+ years! reckon i still could, yeah. I still have my notes, just not a sax.

Languages: English and Norwegian. Passing knowledge of Danish and Swedish, can kind of read Icelandic given enough time, know very basic Spanish and Irish.

Favourite Songs: Right now?? Fuck uuuh.... I Freak Out by Dizraeli i guess.

Random fact: I used to collect elephant things. Little statues, keychains, whatever. Recently found a portion of them in my dad's basement, but they had been colonized by some kind of insect :(

Describe yourself as aesthetic things: Good, long, warm hugs, cool & dry winter mornings in the sun, lazy evenings doing nothing on a couch, pints at an old grubby pub while people watching, old heavy scrangly trams in cerulean blue, ticket stubs from 2005 when they cost 15kr, museum exhibitions meant for kids.

[achliegh]

bad idea!

I was listening to music while writing yesterday and it was a bad idea! By Girl In Red came on and it gave me Sirius (lol) Finnlo vibes. Like I know in Coast to Coast they only had the S-E-X like twice and it wasn’t anything too crazy. But this is going off the canon rails. I’m not super into song fics. Well, not really reading them, but I like to write them so enjoy!

CW/TW: Smut, mild sexy talk, questioning sexuality, slight argument after sex

Characters belong to @lumosinlove

It was a bad idea

Calling you up

Was such a bad idea

'Cause now I'm even more lost

Logan had just spent his first night in Gryffindor, it all felt like a dream to him. Being drafted into the NHL was one thing, but being drafted onto the same team as your best friend was insane!. He had been texting Finn all night about how incredible the Dumais were and the reason for him not staying with Finn. Yes, they had a bit of a past with… the more physical side of their relationship. That's why he couldn’t risk staying with him, it was too tempting.

He called Fish to let him know he was on his way over to the apartment and a million things were running through his mind. He hasn't seen Finn in the flesh for a year. Maybe he hasn’t changed, maybe he was even better looking, maybe he didn’t want Logan anymore… Logan shook his head as he got out of the Uber that drove him to the apartment complex.

He was supposed to like girls, he sighed and shook his head trying to rid his thoughts of the boy who had been his friend for years. He knocked on Finns door and when it swung open he knew this was a bad idea.

Was such a bad idea

'Cause now everything's wrong

You put your hands under my shirt

Undid my bra and said these words

"Darling, you're so pretty, it hurts"

You pushed me up against my wall

Threw my clothes down on the floor

"Darling, are you ready for more?"

After an hour of catching up and drinking coffee, logan leaned up against the counter as Finn went to take their cups to the sink. When he came back over to Logan his hands were on either side of the French-Canadian bracketing him against the counter. Logan looked into his eyes and nothing else mattered, he wanted Finn, wanted him to touch him, mark him, kiss him, he wanted to feel him everywhere inside and out. They don’t know who kissed first but once it started it was scolding. Logan's hands were under Finn's shirt just feeling for skin and it burned where he touched for both of them.

Finn shoved his tongue in Logan's mouth and they both groaned. He moved one hand to the side of the shorter boy's neck and the other wrapped around his back to pull them flush together. They could feel each other getting hard and when they pulled away to catch their breath Finn grabbed Logan and pulled him towards his room, only getting to the wall in the hallway before they were lip locked. He slid his hands up Logan's shirt and pulled away to whisper in his ear. "Darling, you're so pretty, it hurts" He took his shirt off and his mouth latched onto his throat and a moan fell from Logan's lips.

The sound of Logan moaning was addictive to Finn; he just wanted to hear the sounds of pleasure from the boy he's been in love with since the moment they met. Again and Again and Again he would nip and suck on the places he knew Logan was weak for. He started unbuttoning Logan's jeans after he pulled off his own shirt and Looked the younger boy in the eyes. "Darling, are you ready for more?"

It was a bad idea

Calling you up

Was such a bad idea

I'm totally fucked

It was a bad idea

To think I could stop

Logan couldn’t even fathom words at this very moment, He was so hard it hurt and all he wanted was to be close to Finn. He just needed to feel his skin everywhere. He nodded when Finn asked him for more and they were in their underwear in the next second. He was being pushed onto a bed and he couldn’t be happier, he was almost delicious with want. The feeling of His loves hard length against his made him gasp with pleasure and arch up for more contact. He yanked the older boy's hair with his hand to pull him into an obscene kiss. It was all tongue and teeth but neither of them cared. They moved together as if it was what they were meant to do. He thought he could stop the situation from going this far. He forgot just how incredible Finn felt.

When Logan felt he couldn’t take anymore he felt a wetness on his temples, he didn’t realize he was crying until after the sex haze went away. As Finn pushed him closer and closer to the edge he felt the damn break when Finn wedged his hand between Lo's ass and the bed and squeezed. Just the thought of Finn inside him made him come, ruining his underwear and causing white to flash in his vision. He didn’t think he had ever came harder before. He reached between them and stroked Finn though his underwear and watched him fall off the edge. It was beautiful, his red face shiny from sweat the way his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes squeezed shut. He wanted to see that face everyday if he could. But he knew he couldn’t. He knew this was wrong, this shouldn’t have happened.

Was such a bad idea

I need to be alone

They parted and Finn rolled to the side and sighed happily with a dumb smile on his face. He was so happy to have Logan back in his life and maybe even have a real relationship beside just a friendship. When he turned to look at Logan his heart broke. He was staring at the ceiling and Finn could already see the fear in his eyes without even looking. Finn had always been more comfortable with liking both women and men but Logan was another story. He reached over to wipe away the tear from his loved ones face and he flinched away. Finn knew it was over before it even really started.

“I’m going home. I-I need to be alone for a little bit” He didn’t even give Finn a second glance as he put on his clothes and ran out the door before even calling an Uber. He sat on the curb a block away and sobbed to himself. He was so confused, he always knew he was a little different than other people but to fall in love with a man was just unheard of in his family. Would they be ashamed. Would they disown him if they found out what he did, who he had feelings for. This was such a bad idea and he knew he couldn’t stop himself.

Bad idea

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Apparently I’m a poet! | (Giant) Poetry Update #1

Hi everyone!

I realized today I’ve never updated you guys on my poetry ever, and so here’s to starting poetry updates on this blog! A bit of my background in poetry: in December 2019 I began writing “serious” poetry (I had previously written a chapbook that I wouldn’t count lol) so I’m pretty new to the form! I mostly dabble in prose poetry. Let’s dive into everything I’ve written so far.

About: A cyclical, toxic relationship & the desire and yet inability to help someone you love.

I wrote this prose poem in 20 minutes after reading THIS article. I had never written a prose poem but was intrigued by the form, and this strange poem came out of it. At the time, I was working through some personal feelings and found it strangely therapeutic that poetry was the form I finally felt comfortable to write about myself. I felt a certain release I’d never felt in writing after drafting this poem, and though I was uncertain about it, it was the first thing I ever submitted to a literary magazine! To my surprise, it was picked up by Grain Magazine (print-only) and I couldn’t be happier!

About: Immigration, matriarchy, grief, homesickness, mangoes.

Like MWLOTW, I wrote this prose poem in 20 minutes, the occasion being my university’s poetry contest (I was eyeing that prize lol). I actually was going to not submit entirely because I didn’t have a short story prepared, but then I realized... why don’t I just... poem? So right before the deadline, I wrote this poem, sent it in, won first prize and the rest is history lol!

About: A wordsearch poem and poetic homage to my experience with talk therapy

I have no idea where this WILD idea came from, but like with all of my first year writing assignments, it was 100% WEIRD. I thought it would be cool to ~invent a new poetic form that is essentially wordsearch poetry. A reader would be able to parse the particular phrase they see for almost an unlimited amount of combinations (each reader would take away something different). I adore how this poem turned out, and I’d love for it to be picked up somewhere though I’m not actively submitting poems right now.

About: An advertisement for all different types of skin, including human. :) You want it? They got it.

This is a bizarre little prose poem I wrote in a twenty-minute midnight fever dream, promptly forgot about, saw Augur Magazine had a new issue it might fit into, submitted it because in this house we don’t self-reject, and voila, it is now forthcoming in Augur’s winter issue! I can’t describe it beyond it being a literal advertisement for skin. :) I told you it was a midnight fever dream. The piece itself didn’t change much from first draft to what it will be published as, just a few minor line edits and of course, 100% bizarreness.

About: The journey of locating and planting a species of berries that doesn’t exist.

This is one of my most personal poems to date and it holds a very special place in my heart because of the person it is about! This is another prose poem, but unlike the others, wasn’t written in 20 minutes lol! It took me days to really feel comfortable within this poem and finish it off. I had written the first stanza or so within a half hour, but didn’t feel right with how the poem was going, and gave it a break. I came back about a week later and finished it off, and now it is one of my dearest poems. I can’t talk too much about the contents because it is personal, but I love poetry so much for the sole reason that you can write for the people you love in an incomprehensible way.

I’m going to leave this update here, but I hope to be back soon when I write more poems! Poetry is a new form to me, but is so refreshing, and as someone who has always approached language in a “painterly” kind of way, it is the perfect medium to experiment with!

--Rachel

[apparentlyaswarmofbees]

My MC: Yukihime

Warning: uncensored swearing lmao

Since I pratically spent the last 6 months without drawing I am quite rusty, but yes, this is my MC, Yukihime. Again, her name is a joke with Snow White (Shirayukihime) because seven demons = seven dwarves, ayyy.

She is 20 years old by the start of the exchange program

Edit: I just realized I forgot to add her height: SHES 5'4

She has no living family members (she considers the brothers her new family now)

Moles moles moles

She has a secret love for idols (she sings and dances in front of the mirror sometimes)

Likes insects over animals

Fast learner

Actually knows muai tai (she needed to kick some assholes in the human realm)

Is she an insomniac or Is she just someone with an inconsistent sleep schedule? No one knows

Surprisingly a morning person

She has a lot of dreams (she has a few dream diaries)

Her favorite food is pancakes

Her room is relativelly organized (her bed and desk are always messy but the rest of the room is pretty neat)

Fucking nerd

Extra stuff:

I chose her design like that because I had the japanese in mind. (The hair and clothes were all researched and I had tons of reference for it).

The ammount of light purple in her was a choice to show a bit of duality, purple is often percieved as corruption, magic and royalty. I chose light purple to try to not make her be seen as a saint and give a bit of a mysterious vibe while not making it be seem as corrupt. The fact that her coat is grayish was also an atempt to tamper the purity (and an attempt to make her eyes stand out).

Her previous design actually looks a lot like a high school girl so I dislike it a bit:

As you can see I actually tried to follow the eye design in the game, so yes if Yukihime was put in the game designs, her eyes would have a bit of black.

The thing in her neck is an expanding locket, she was supposed to have found it on the street one day and just kept it for herself, it was empty but by the end of the exchange program she had all the brother's pics on it. This idea was, unfortunatelly, scratched off. I will leave this for future headcanons instead of it being a part of my OC.

I actually had another draft of a post for her with a different version but I also didn't like it, specially because I changed her hair and regreted my decisions later:

At least the color palette is somewhat consistent.

Anyways, this is my MC and I am pretty fond of her lol.

Shout out to all of you who also have your own MC, I have gone through quite a few posts of other people's MC to get a grasp on what I wanted to do with this post and, honestly, everyone has such unique ideas I was in awe the entire time.

.

Stay safe and have at least an okay day

[xparadisexlostx]

So Idk what possessed me to write this. I wrote it all in one go and it is in desperate need of a proof read and probably and edit... but I doubt I’ll ever do that lol. I’m tired and I’m getting a headache and I still have drafts to work on, so I’m just gonna post it before I lose confidence and hide it like the many, many other drabbles I’ve never posted.

I don’t know why I wanted to write this in first person. That usually annoys me, but for some reason it just sounded right in this case.

So this drabble is primarily about Beck and Cora, how they meet, and the relationship they have. Obviously I did a LOT, if not too much, condensing because otherwise this never would have ended. 

For context, Cora is Beck’s sort of adopted mom. She his a centuries old witch who was possessed, years ago by a spirit of hospitality. Over time the two merged into one being and that is why she’s pretty much immortal. Because of what she was she was made an outcast by her own people, the clan of the Grey Owls. Here is her face claim. 

_____________________________________________

A long life makes you accustomed to loss. You learn people are better at a distance. Far enough away that you can’t really make out their faces, and their voices turn to echoes by the time they’re in your ears. Any closer than that and you risk the pain that comes with a proper meeting. I found that out the hard way when Hattie passed. 

It was agonizingly slow. At first she just needed a bit of help with getting up after a long day in the garden. And then she couldn’t go as far on our evening walks. Eventually she couldn’t make it out to tend the flowers that she loved so dearly, and she forgot the names of the dairy goats we’d raised by hand and bottle. And when I saw Death come peacefully across the border of the Living Dream, shimmering in the late afternoon sunlight and invisible to my love, I lifted her up in my arms and carried her out to the fields of flowers. She didn’t remember my name, but she held me close to her with what dwindling strength remained in her arms, and laid her head on my heart while I whispered a silent goodbye.

We had never had any children. Back then we only escaped the scandal of being together by living on my family’s land and growing or making most of what we needed. People in the towns whispered, but they let us be so long as we didn’t make too much noise. That wouldn’t have been any life for a child. Children need community, friends, and more love than just two mothers could bring them. The mortals would have never accepted a child of ours, and the witches had cast me out years before on account of what I was---what I am.

I buried Hattie in the flowerbed, and I left my home after that. The place I had been made, where I had settled for three centuries, had nothing to give me but pain. Even England reminded me all too much of what I had lost. I was alone, and I imagined that somewhere else I could find a place where I was content with that once again.

And I did. In a cottage deep in the Sierra Nevada mountains, I found the peace that had evaded me for so long. People stopped by in the occasional way: lost travelers, rapscallion youths, the occasional farmer looking for good dairy stock. That was the way for well over a hundred years. It wasn’t until the storm of ‘01 that it all changed, that I noticed the pie I was cooling on the windowsill was gone, and there was only a small muddy handprint in its place.

In the afterglow of a lightning strike I saw him there. A great, hulking bear, tall as the horizon, pale as a fresh pressed bedsheet, illuminated against the black sky. On his head were horns made of trees, and his claws were gnarled roots. On his back he carried a forest with a heart-tree that glowed gold. My brother, older than me by millenia, scarcely seen but ever familiar, always present. He looked from me to the barn, and stared, transfixed, by whatever he saw, and then he was gone.

I pulled on a raincoat and stepped into my boots, and raced across the yard to the shelter of the barn. The goats stirred in their pen, and the chickens let out a low squawk of protest as the building flooded with light. I found my pie in the back stall and a trail of blueberry pawprints leading away from it and into a pile of hay, where I found a small, trembling kit, little enough to fit in my one hand.

She shook like a leaf, whining up a terrible storm, as I tucked her beneath my coat and took her into the house. The promise of a proper meal convinced her to turn back into the girl I already knew she was, but she still shook so hard that she lost half of every bite she tried to take. I might have scolded anyone else for stealing, but she was so slight, too small and slender for a girl her age, and she was covered in mud and briars and sticks that matted in her golden hair. And when I put her in the tub to scrub her clean I saw the bruises and the cuts that no branch had inflicted. 

Looking back on that night I never had the chance to hold her at arm’s length. From the moment I plucked her out of the hay and pressed her to my heart, she was mine. I couldn’t keep her. The Fox Bitch wouldn’t allow it. And no one would listen to me when I told them of the heinous crimes Elea Tandy was committing against her own kin. No one cared when I complained of the local coven teachers casting her out. 

I made myself content with what I could have, and I taught her what an old witch could when she escaped that awful house and made her way through the forest to me. I showed her how to sew up a skirt as well as a wound, and taught her what the woods had to offer when her mother denied her supper. When she couldn’t read my spellbooks I taught her songs and rhythms to help her remember words and order. How to milk a goat, how to shear a sheep, how to tie a good and proper knot, and how to cook anything you found or caught. Our time together didn’t always last long, and when she left I felt it like a stab to the heart, but she was mine. The baby Hattie and I never got to have, filled with more kindness and curiosity and life than anyone else I had ever met.

And I ought to have known by the sight of my Brother what she was, and that she could not belong to me, or to anyone forever, but it wasn’t until months later, when I saw him again, watching her ride through the woods with a wild abandon, that I understood. 

Feral. A term that makes every parent clutch her pearls and shiver in fear, even though they barely know what it means. Feral witches are born to leave. They are only a brief bridge between the Dream Realm and the physical, destined to merge once more with the Nature Spirit from which they came. 

She was not mine to keep, but I held on.

I held on in agony as she ran off, desperate for freedom and adventure and a respite from the violence of her home. I smothered her in loving arms every time she came back. But she came back less and less. It was too dangerous, and every time she risked us both. I told her I didn’t care, and that I wasn’t afraid of Elea Tandy… but I knew that she was.

She was right to be.

Even I had never imagined Elea could be so vile and twisted as to kill a familiar. And to make a child watch… It turns my gut even to think of it now. I thought it would be the death of her, and it likely would have been if her brother hadn’t turned on their mother himself. He tried to bring her back to life, and so did I. But there was nothing but fathomless despair behind those blue eyes. I finally had her safe beneath my roof, and she was dying in my arms just like Hattie had. No amount of love could ever replace what she had lost when Dawnbreaker had been hanged before her eyes.

After ages of lifelessness, she eventually became restless in her grief, and I imagined I was witnessing her end. I put her in my car and drove her as deep into the wilderness as I could, and when I wrapped my arms around her I said that same silent goodbye. I barely made it home before my own sorrow and anger threatened to drown me. She was too young, I thought, and how unfair it was that she should die having tasted so little happiness, having felt so few kind touches. Brother would care for her upon her return, but why had he ever allowed her to come from the womb of that wretched woman? I had gifted her all the love that I could, and it didn’t feel like nearly enough in the face of all the pain she had been put through.

I hated him for that. Perhaps I still do.

I left California the same way I left England, distraught, and purchased new land on the secluded shores of Lake Erie. I told no one where I went, and no one would have ever asked. 

When I saw the golden horse upon my lawn some years later I thought it was a reflection in the Living Dream, a spirit of what once was lingering, but the girl upon its back was no longer a child. Even at a distance, even after all those years, I knew her face, and when she ran into my arms I held her tighter than I ever had before. 

She was alive and more vibrant than I’d ever seen her---all golden curls and smiles and a wild glint in her eye. We rode horses on the shoreline and sang foolish songs around a campfire. She told me stories of where she had been and everything she’d seen as she wove crowns from wildflowers. The next evening she showed me the scars where the mountain lion had nearly ripped her life away, and then demonstrated her new form with such ease that I felt my knees go weak. Even at such a young age the power swelled around her.

Feral. The very thing that had made other witches reject her had allowed her to thrive. In the wilds she had found the peace and happiness that others had so cruelly robbed her of. And I felt a pride blossom in me that I’d never felt before.

She left me again, as I knew she would, as was her nature, but this time I didn’t feel grief. For as long as she was on this Earth, she would return to me. That much I was certain. And that much has always been proven true.

Now, without the fear of her mother’s viciousness, she comes to me more frequently, and she can linger in my house as long as her wild spirit will allow. Our time together isn’t so rare… and yet I know that it is still brief. 

Each visit I see the spirit grow within her, each year the magic grows stronger. It pulls in more animals, and it bends nature around her without her even noticing it. 

She doesn’t see my Brother when she is sitting upon her golden stallion, basking in the sun as it cuts through the forest branches, but I think she feels him. As the animals gather all around her and play like newborn lambs, as she feels the embrace of the woods around her, I think she feels him watching. Her eyes glisten and she smiles with a fondness that breaks my heart. I think that if she just takes one step she will be lost to me forever.

I call her name when she raises her hand to touch what she cannot see, and with the slowness of a drunkard she blinks her eyes. When she looks back at me in those moments I know she can see across the centuries. She knows what I am. 

Again I call her name. It’s selfish, maybe, to want to hold onto her. Perhaps I do nothing but hold her back. But she smiles at me, and the mist evaporates from her eyes to reveal that mischievous sparkle.

“Come away from there, girl.” I say, beaconing her back toward the house with a wave of my hand and I watch my Brother’s eyes with unbecoming smugness as she presses her golden stallion forward and exclaims “‘Race ya!’” as she charges back home.