#LOL ACCURATE

[mayasdeluca]

[theawkwardvirgin]

[cuckoo-among-beasts]

What Type of Hot Are You?

incompetent intern hot

your coworkers have a crush on you. if they can even be called your coworkers because they're kinda above you. you sit at the bottom of the pecking order, but when the office sees you fumble another stack of papers or leave in a panicked hurry for the boss's coffee, they feel fond of you. they wanna straighten your permanantly askew tie and fix your hair for you, so maybe you'll get the recognition you deserve.

Tagged by: @battleguqin

Tagging: Anyone interested.

[ultima-ratio]

[jellyjamheadobb]

[ghostofnuggetspast]

I am trying not to laugh in an inappropriate venue. Congratulations and thank you

Ok no, listen to this

We all know about the whole 7% solution thing in the Holmes books, right? No one missed that. (BBC Sherlock fans, no this is not about Sherlock. This is Holmes.)

And he states that he only uses it as a stimulant when he is out of work. Ok. But you can’t just give up on addiction that fast, even if your name is Sherlock Holmes. So how did he do it?

I have a theory: the man was on crack half the time.

I love the Holmes books, I’ve read them all at least a dozen times. And you can’t tell me they don’t read like a tumblr post 75% of the time. Or like an interaction between Will and Jem from The Infernal Devices. I mean in modern language, they would go something like this:

A Scandal in Bohemia

Watson: How are you going to find the photograph?

Holmes: Idk, probably set the house on fire

The Red Headed-League

Holmes: Hey, Watson, got a gun?

Watson: Yeah, you asked me to.

Holmes: Good.

Watson: You don’t? What did you bring with you?

Holmes: A whip.

The Speckled Band

Watson: So… there’s a leopard

Holmes: Yes.

Watson: What do we do then?

Holmes: Pray to God and run.

The Cardboard Box

Susan Cushing: That box has severed ears in it!

Holmes: Yeah, but look at that salt though.

The Naval Treaty

Percy Phelps: This is a very important letter, I can’t lose it, there will be a war if it gets out, I got brain fever and almost died when it was stolen-

Holmes: Sorry, I couldn’t find it. 

Percy:…

Holmes: April Fools!!!

The Final Problem:

Moriarty: *threatens Holmes*

Moriarty: *follows him to Reichenbach to kill him*

Holmes: Cool, can I write a letter?

The Empty House

Holmes: I died… not really.

Holmes: Time to scare the shit out of Mrs. Hudson, I miss her.

Watson: I thought you were dead!

Holmes: It appears that the rumours of my death have been greatly exaggerated… by you.

The Priory School

Holmes: I sold my principles for 6000 pounds.

Watson: Whhaaatt??

Holmes: He’s just a rich white man, how much can it hurt?

Black Peter

Holmes: *enters with a harpoon*

Watson: Where the hell have you been roaming with that thing?

Holmes: I was trying to stab a pig.

Watson:…

Holmes: It’s not as easy as it sounds.

Charles Augustus Milverton

Watson: Okay, we’re supposed to steal this letter.

Holmes: Yup.

Watson: Except there’s this woman in front of the man we’re supposed to be stealing from, and she’s rambling about how he ruined her life.

Holmes: Yup.

Watson: Holmes, what do we do? Should we leave?

Holmes: No, let’s wait, I’m kinda curious how this is going to turn out.

.

.

.

Lestrade: Holmes, I need your help with this murder-

Holmes: Sounds like Watson did it.

Watson: 😶😶

The Second Stain

Lestrade: Look! The stain on the carpet doesn’t match the stain on the floor! Can you explain that, huh?

Holmes:…

Holmes: Bitch, someone rotated it.

The Bruce-Partington Plans

Holmes: Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Call 911!

Watson: Holmes? Everything all right? Did something bad happen? 

Holmes: No, nothing bad happened.

Watson: Then what-

Holmes: My brother is coming here.

Watson: But what-

Holmes: MY BROTHER IS COMING HERE

The Dying Detective

Holmes: I was dying.

Holmes: And now I’m not.

Watson:..

Watson: I feel like murdering you myself right now, not gonna lie.

The Devil’s Foot

Holmes: I think this is a deadly poison.

Holmes: Let’s both of us try it.

His Las Bow

Watson: I thought you retired.

Holmes: I did. But the level of jackassery here pulled me out of it.

Watson: Well, that’s true, there’s a war…

Holmes: I leave for 5 minutes and it all goes to shit.

Three Garridebs

Watson: Holmes, don’t hurt him!

Holmes: But he shot you!

Watson: Yeah, but-

Holmes: He shot you!

The Illustrious Client

Watson: Holmes, I heard you almost died! 

Holmes: Nah, I’m fine. What do you know about pottery?

Watson: What?

Holmes: Pottery, Watson. Specifically, Chinese Pottery. I want you to research on it.

The Blanched Soldier

Holmes: I want to write a story.

Holmes: And I don’t know how. 

Holmes: *writes the story*

Holmes: This is a pile of horseshit. I miss Watson.

I’d write about the long stories too, but my fingers are hurting now.

[skankhunt44]

[syn0vial]

[Astarion] is a cat. He's a black cat. There's a stray that comes into my house called Red... and he's quite feral. It took me three years before I could pick him up and hold him. He's totally cool with me now. Three fucking years. He gave me a lot of inspiration about Astarion.

- Neil Newbon, on developing Astarion's physicality and mannerisms

[allthatispeculiar]

[ravoress]

lol accurate

Arrival of the Saiyans.PNG

Blame @lilyrosethedreamer

[driftsart]

[dont-be-tumb]

[ochiody]

average odysseus experience

[therottenkingsreckoning]

My gender is not a good idea as I have no interest in this program

Type "my gender is" on your phone and let your phone finish the sentence, then tag your moots to keep the chain going, I'll go first.

My gender is a little bit more intense than I thought I could have done

@mirukosbitchywife @get-junpeid

[misschimotosuwa-blog]

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