#LMAO ALSO JUST REALIZED I REBLOGGED THIS OFF OF A MUTUALS REBLOG OF MY POST SORRY MY B

[arionaleilani]

my favorite thing is that he’s joining my ss los(v)ers tattoo

[ashenlavellan]

Thoughts on my 1st Blue Lions Playthrough [2/4]

Again, first off to my DA/ME mutuals - this is another post purely focused on Fire Emblem: Three Houses since I've been playing this non-stop instead of working on my stories (lmao - sorry, not sorry??)

Second off (once again) - to everyone that's part of the FE3H fandom, I've now reached Azure Moon and have completely avoided spoilers online and have been playing this blindly. No one spoiled me on the last post and I'm very appreciative of that - please continue with that with this post! ^.^

As of writing this post, I'm about to reach the infamous reunion at Gronder Field and where I'll soon hear the iconic line...

"Kill every last one of them!"

I will admit - yeah, it was pretty menacing hearing that line during Verdant Wind, especially since I had NO clue what they had faced and was busy working on the rapport within the Golden Deer [as well as Byleth pursuing Claude].

Now?

Just the thought of witnessing that scene now and what's to come has my brain scrambling and I feel utterly helpless; I've been trying to figure out if there's anything Byleth can do and I've been theorizing how he regains his sanity.

Like, yeah, I see that Dimitri is unable to deepen his bonds with anyone right now - yet you're showing me in the support menu that it could be in the future! When the hell is that? [that's a rhetorical question - please don't answer that, I don't want to be spoiled.]

It's been heart-breaking seeing how twisted and mentally tortured Dimitri has become during the time-skip. My heart fucking shattered when you reunite with him (initially) and he begs for whatever hallucination it is of Byleth to leave him be - then, the complete shock once he realizes that she's alive and truly there.

There were a few comments and reblogs (specifically the tags) that mentioned that this would be an emotional rollercoaster and holy shit, I was less prepared than I thought I'd be.

I'm just waiting for the second the option to deepen the bond between Dimitri and Byleth opens and I'm able to see their A-Support dialogue. As well as his dialogue with everyone else post-timeskip.

Also, I think I made him ridiculously strong because not only can he take so many fucking hits and deal heavy punishment on enemies, I keep getting his fucking critical hits and I bet deep down, Byleth is like -

Anyway, there's my update currently with my playthrough for Blue Lions/Azure Moon - it's been a rollercoaster and I've been enjoying it! I'm super excited to see how this turns out and how different it is, when compared to the Golden Deer/Verdant Wind.

[howlingmoonrise]

tagged by the fantastic @sunriseverse! thanks sunny!! 💖

under the cut because this one is long

1. why did you choose your url?

i wanted a new fandom penname and at the time adjective + noun names were a thing. i fiddled with several different variations, tried and failed to acquire kaleidoscopicmoonrise at the time (it's mine now!!), and landed on this one. i wanted something a little spooky, especially since soul eater was my fandom at the time - though it doesn't feel like it now that my icon is a lot more sane-looking lmfao

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

uh. yeah. a stupid amount (like 30+?), so i'm definitely not naming them all. most active are obviously this howl blog, my main blog @commandersya, this one for danny phantom and gravity falls stuff, @howlingspacegoo gets some activity every now and then when venom stuff resurfaces, and some others i use for reblogging specific reference stuff. most of the rest are for fandom events i've run in the past.

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

since like 2011-2012. i've seen it all.

4. do you have a queue tag?

lmao absolutely not. i don't use the queue function, though on occasion i'll schedule posts to space them out when i'm going through a tag in order not to reblog all of it at once, or for specific dates like halloween

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

this one was for soul eater writing purposes. tumblr in general was because my cousin dragged me into it and then i realized there was a lot of bandom stuff in here (i was really into black veil brides for my first year or two on tumblr)

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

i broke ties with the soul eater fandom in a not great way and wanted to change my icon. yoi provided the perfect yuri expression with the kind of benevolent dictator smile i really like, despite that not being the original intent for it when the animators drew it ✊😔

7. why did you choose your header?

i had to check my header real quick lmfao. jason todd is just an excellent blorbo and when a good artist draws him.... 👀👀👀

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

oh gods. probably my dracula/barbie fic at nearly 3.5k notes. where's that ben affleck cigarrette pic when you need it. alternatively some ancient black veil brides photo/gif on my main blog.

9. how many mutuals do you have?

idk but i cherish y'all 💖

10. how many followers do you have?

dunno 😭 they're split across dozens of blogs so i'm not counting them all

11. how many people do you follow?

1.8k+, though i should follow more. my dash has times when it's pretty dead.

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

probably? yes. just remembered the i bit the butte psoh post.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

however long i'm online on my laptop, more or less. so a sizeable amount of hours

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

LMAO. i was in both voltron and yoi fandoms, writing for and running events for "problematic" ships. take a wild wild guess.

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

hate them. 90% of the time it'll make me automatically skip it. for the other 10%, if it has relevant info on the op's original post and that little sentence is on the comments then i might go back and reblog from the op just to get rid of it

16. do you like tag games?

love them!

17. do you like ask games?

see above

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

i have uhhh. some. olderthannetfic, nemainofthewater, i think also colubrina for a while there, off the top of my head.

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

if friend crushes count then several ✊😔

20. what is the last song you listened to?

the cramps - goo goo muck

21. what are you currently watching?

i am. so bad at finishing things so like a bajillion shows. the double i might drop despite it having been very very good until like episode 30-something. meet you at the blossom i need to finish like the last two eps. wandee goodday i need to finish four episodes iirc. i was in like episode 5 of century of love. i was on episode... 17? of my journey to you, which if i power through shall be for the antagonist sidepair/trio rather than the main characters. i was also at episode 16 of new life begins, which was fairly good and i do want to continue though i keep forgetting i have that tab open somewhere.

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy?

savoury!

23. what is your current relationship status?

single and ace so not planning on changing that!

24. what is your current obsession?

the spirealm/kaleidoscope of death, and mysterious lotus casebook

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

- La P'tite Fumée - Cypher - Brody Dale - Don't Mess With Me - Stiff Little Fingers - Alternative Ulster - Concrete Blonde - Bloodletting (The Vampire Song) - The Cramps - What's Inside a Girl - Linkin Park - Heavy is the Crown - Miyavi & PVRIS - Snakes - D-A-D - Sleeping My Day Away - Aerosmith - Dream On

no-pressure tagging! @junemermaid @a-memory-a-distant-echo @snorlaxlovesme @where-the-water-flows @nemainofthewater

[demonsfate]

guilty as charged (mun edition) // accepting // anonymous asked . . . Have you ever unfollowed a blog? What were the reasons?

All the time LOL. Most often I unfollow unactive blogs, typically blogs that have been inactive for a year or damn near it. Why do I bother? Because sometimes I'll notice my dash is very slow and I'm like "daaamn I've got [this many] followers... how come nothin's happenin?" Then I realize oh wait, a lotta my mutuals became inactive lol. So softblocking them is a good way to gage how many active followers I actually have.

Other times I've unfollowed a blog just because I personally didn't vibe with the mun's ooc posts, or content they're putting out. Or, one time when somebody was just reblogging TOO many posts that were completely unrelated to their muse, and was just spamming the dashboard with unrelated fandom reblogs as if they were a personal or somethin. I don't mind a lotta ooc posts, but I do start drawing the line when my dash gets spammed with completely different fandom posts that aren't related to their muse in any way.

The most controversial time I unfollowed somebody, and this may kinda count as drama but not really, was this K.ingdom Hearts blog. For some reason, my Riddler blog took MONTHS to pick up. I mean, I had it for 4 months and couldn't get a single follow back or anything. I have no clue why - literally nobody wanted to write with me then. (Which is really bizarre, given that, I think at one point, it had 400 followers - many ppl started writing with me later). I'm gonna guess it's because my blog had dark themes / backgrounds. (I wrote my Eddie as a CSA survivor - this may be semi important later)

Anyway, a confession on one of 'em RP confession blogs was expressin' how sad they were that nobody was writing with them, I agreed with it too, also offering I'd write with 'em too. A KH blog came up to me and saying they were having the same problem. I was about to learn a big lesson in writing with them just 'cos I was sympathetic LOOOL. So basically I followed, and we kinda talked on and off for a couple weeks, we wrote a lil. But then their topics started getting ... weirder, horrible even.

Then suddenly, their posts got super fucking crazy. Like they BRAGGED about their tags were apparently QUOTES from the Columbine shooting and the Jamestown cult tragedy?! I didn't fuckin' know 'cos who would??? And like when I went to unfollow them, they were having a thread where the character casually threatens to rape his brother and it's like holy shiiiiiiiiiit. So of course, I hardblocked 'em for that clownery.

Unfortunately, I started getting anon hate on my blog (obvs from him). I got like 4 anon hates in a row - but I blocked the anon and well, that did that lol. Some of the anon hates were like "I thought you liked dark content..." and it's like yeah, when HANDLED WITH RESPECT LMAO. My character was written as a CSA survivor as a background, I don't actually write the fuckin' act out, it's just part of his story. And like, it's also there to show how male victims handle it, and how a lot of sexual abuse survivors tend to turn to hard drugs to cope with it. my BLOG HAD NOTHING THAT WAS GLORIFYING / USING TRUE CRIME SHIT & THEN HAVING MY CHARACTER THREATENING TO UGHGHHH. And like, I didn't call 'em out, didn't mention it on my blog. They can write whatever the fuck they want, I just don't want anything to do with that stuff lmao. So I blocked them.

Then I got one of their mutuals messaging me like "why did you block [user]? they thought you were good friends with them. they're really hurt :(" and it's like?? I kinda talked to them every now & then thru DMS, that's it. We never exchanged discords ffs, we were far from "friends" never mind good friends lmao. Also don't be wildin' on your dashboard, ppl are likely to become uncomfortable and unfollow.

[maximotts]

So you rather have us not be anon and be doxxed/harassed by you guys than be anonymous? Lmao y’all are tripping seriously. Do you guys know it’s the internet right? Meaning the internet is filled with all kinds of people with different types of views so getting mad at me and other wlw folks that has the same views as me is hella funny knowing we don’t care for you’re guy’s opinion on calling us terfs.

Unless you guys are paying our bills, don’t get your panties in a twist just cause a stranger on the INTERNET has a different viewpoint than you do. We’re humans too and because of a different viewpoint from yours, we don’t deserve the harassment. Y’all started this “drama” just cause one you, your fellow mutuals, or followers wanted to be a stalker on someone else’s account. Pls be fr. You guys are seriously not giving hope for our generation

If you don’t care then why are you here on my blog lmao this is big embarrassing for you. I reblog like what, two posts about this issue and you’re here to say I started drama. Also if your likes are public, that’s on you, it’s not stalking? 💀

My point is that it’s telling that you’re supposedly SO for this transphobic rhetoric and yet you won’t show yourself to back your claim. I’d rather get asks like yours every day for the rest of my life and continue to support trans people, making sure that my blog is ACTUALLY a safe space for trans people and actively against transphobia than be some faceless anon who doesn’t have the spine to have face to face discourse.

Yes it’s the internet but like you said, all types of people exist on the internet and subsequently deserve to feel safe/know if someone in their community LITERALLY doesn’t think they’re real/their identity is valid/thinks their very existence is some plight upon the earth. One day you’ll be old enough to realize that things like pineapple on pizza is a different viewpoint, not whether a literal human’s existence is real to you or not.

Idk who this “we” is that’s getting harassed, especially since you’re on anon so? but I certainly have nothing to do with that nor have I perpetuated that behavior so you can go deal with that on whatever your blog is. My advice would be to turn off anon or stop engaging with any anons you don’t want to answer.

Anyways yes I do really think it gives hope for our generation for people in a community to prioritize safety and security of trans people over their platform and fear of discourse.

[desognthinking]

sending you an ask bc you reblogged a post saying that people can write stupid things in your ask box :3

I had a dream the other night about avatrice where Ava and Bea were doing this training exercise where they had to sneak into an enemy's bedroom while the enemy is asleep, so Bea was pretending to be asleep in bed to let Ava practice moving silently around her. And Ava just decided that she was exempt from training and was going to lay on top of Bea as a weighted blanket instead 😭 and Bea was like "...fine. fine. we can cuddle for a bit and then training has to happen."

and then they cuddled 🥺

(it was a nice dream to have tbh but also somebody please tell my brain to stop being so obvious about how starved for a hug i am 😭😭😭)

wait first of all anon how are you getting dreams like this? do people get dreams like this?? i woke up in the middle of the night because i dreamed that something/someone was trying to break into my room/home from inside the house itself (like the walls, the wood of the cupboards etc lol) LMAO 😭

ok but your dream is so 🥺

real too. they'd have to you know, do the work, to get to this point in canon (it's got to be late switzerland if anything, and even then that's if we stir the pot of a generous interpretation) but this with a twist would be really fun imo in a time period of like. post ava's return, post immediate initial recuperation. (this presupposes either that ava does not come back wrong or that that's been resolved somehow hsdfgkj)

ava gets back into training, wobbly with the initial adjustment but that's counteracted by whatever training she's got over on the other side. so they're really able to let loose a lot more with training and scenario exercises you know? your pick of whether ava and bea are newly together (officially) or falling into each others' arms basically but still stepping carefully and tenderly around the final straw -- both are fun and i love them

if the former: it's the muscle-memory hesitation turning into overwhelming oh of oh, we do get to have this. it's happening now. battle-bruised and well-drilled routines melting into realization and relief etc. If the latter: the closeness that they crave and are inevitably careening towards, in the dark where they can't see. where it's safe to admit wordlessly what they both already know. kind of a mutual reassurance also i think?? maybe they were scared and hesitant before and initially this really was for fun, but ava's so nervous lowering herself down bc are we still good are we still okay? yes we hugged for 3 hours when i woke up and you cried and never left my bedside but this is still new. i know you love me and i love you but we only embraced in our sleep and in pretence and now we can be nothing but awake. anyway in this scenario maybe she gives bea a jokey warning beforehand or is ready to let bea throw her off training-style as an out, but obv that doesn't happen. if this isn't 🥺 enough throw in the warmest most solid hand squeeze in the world. yes yes that would be fun

also probably twenty other possible fun scenarios to unpick but alas i am still worm in bed and thinking mainly of the malicious creature in my walls, the only trace of whom was the crack in the backboard of my cupboard

[stinkrascal]

A couple things I was wondering is how did you figure out you had BPD? I know there's a couple disorders that can often get diagnosed beforehand, so I guess how did you know there was more going on? Secondly, what kind of therapy do you feel was the most helpful, if any? I have issues keeping a therapist because they tuxedo mask away after realizing I already have CBT down (which only kind of helps me). Thank you for being open about BPD! I feel like there's so much unnecessary stigma.

hiiiiii!! sorry i didnt reply yesterday i spent all day writing my silly sims stories 😴 i will talk about my experience under the cut!! ty for being curious about it!! <3

umm tbh i was diagnosed in a really weird way lol. so, like, where i went to high school was a really conservative and religious town, and when i was a freshman in high school i was one of the only trans/lgbt kids that was vocally out at my school. there were more of them, my friend group was basically all lgbt ppl, but i was the only person in my school who would demand staff to call me a different name/use different pronouns. but anyways so my lgbt friend group was being bullied pretty badly so our school hired this counselor training in lgbt issues that would talk to us individually about our experiences as lgbt kids who were bullied and such. it was actually really cool you know! but anyways i was one of the students who had to participate in this and the lady who was talking to me realized that i was, like, a really troubled kid lol. and on top of that i was failing all my classes and i had been struggling in school my entire life (like consistently making report cards with at least 5/7 of the classes being failed type of shit) sooooo they basically had this like idk meeting with my parents? where they were super adamant that they take me to a doctor and put me into therapy bc i was struggling really badly and yeah. after that my parents put me into therapy and got in touch w a doctor and i got some treatment and eventually a bpd diagnosis. but yea it only happened cuz of my school forcing them to take me ha.

the truth is i didn't really suspect anything was wrong with me because the way i grew up, i thought everyone acted like me 🤷‍♂️ i think the only time i started really thinking i might have bpd was when i got my first boyfriend at 16, that's when my codependency and attachment issues really started to manifest, and those have always consistently been the bpd symptoms i struggle the most with. but even back then i didn't really know what bpd was, so it wasn't like i was specifically thinking i was suffering w bpd. more so that i knew something was Off about me but i couldn't really explain what it was

unfortunately i haven't gone to therapy in a long time :( and the last time i went it wasn't for bpd treatment at all. so i really can't say what could help you there in terms of therapy. i did group therapy during my bpd treatment but it didn't really help me much.

you're probably not gonna like this answer lmao but i use weed to medicate my intense mood swings and that helps a lot. also just being able to recognize when i need to cool off and being able to use my words to tell ppl that i need to be alone for a minute to clear my head, that helps too. basically just being mindful of ur changing emotions and giving yourself room to feel those emotions and allow them to pass u, without feeling guilt for this, and without projecting those emotions onto other ppl bc at the end of the day it isn't really anyone else's fault that u feel the way you do.

also just try to give ppl the benefit of the doubt in general, ik my bpd makes me SO sensitive like for example. ik we make jokes about this but you guys im not kidding, my favorite mutual reblogging a post from someone else instead of me hurts my feelings so bad some days i have to just log off and go cry about it. CRY ABOUT IT YOU GUYS! it's really awful and totally not grounded in reality 😭 but like it's there, it's something i experience and deal with, and it isn't anyone's fault that it happens, it's just the cards i was dealt with.

so instead of projecting that feeling onto my beloved mutuals and being like Ohhhhh so you actually hate me! You actually want me to kill myself! You've actually never cared about me ever, person I've had two conversations with in total! yeah instead of working myself up for something so silly... i just try to put myself in other ppls shoes, try to remember that when i do things it is not with malicious intent and most people are also not doing things with malicious intent. bc for me, my bpd tends to dehumanize ppl... they arent people with nuance and depth and complex and at times contradictory lives, theyre my Favorite Person, person who does no wrong, person who could never do any wrong no matter how hard they try, and that's dehumanizing, that's unfair to the person!! so by humanizing the other person, by remembering we are all people with rich inner lives and struggles and most of us just want to do our best even when we slip and fall... it helps calm me down from those spirals where im like, ohhhhh god everyone hates me because they didn't reblog a text post from meeeee!!! lol

[jess-themess05]

I posted 901 times in 2022

That's 901 more posts than 2021!

117 posts created (13%)

784 posts reblogged (87%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@theohnocorral

@basyacriptid

@lovelymoonmagic

@ice-reblogs

I tagged 778 of my posts in 2022

Only 14% of my posts had no tags

#fnaf sun - 186 posts

#fnaf security breach - 179 posts

#fnaf daycare attendant - 167 posts

#fnaf moon - 159 posts

#fnaf - 123 posts

#beloved mutuals - 69 posts

#mutual shenanigans - 63 posts

#fnaf security breach au - 48 posts

#fnaf au - 38 posts

#fnaf eclipse - 34 posts

Longest Tag: 127 characters

#despite probably putting the fear of god in everyone who came across you admitting to have drunk fire starter and sulfuric acid

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

tehehe yes spider lmao

Actually im shoked I didn't saw anyone draw him like that before, bc he is litteraly

CREATUR CRAWLING ON WALLS AND HIS WIRE IS LITTERALY LIKE SPIDER WEB!!!

hmm

checks out.

53 notes - Posted October 27, 2022

#4

oh hey a finished art piece

wow would ya look at that

in case you’ve never heard of this fanfic tHIS

this is the bug love fanfic! by @theohnocorral respectfully

this is just my interpretation of him, but of course he has a more official design hehe

my next plan of action is moon man!! he’s a gosh darn moth :)

extras down below!

See the full post

141 notes - Posted September 23, 2022

#3

See the full post

398 notes - Posted September 10, 2022

#2

Favorite fics?

oh geez. i’m gonna try keep it sweet and simple less i go on and make it unbearable to read. also these summaries are gonna be terrible but i think all of these are gonna be fnaf sun and moon fics i’m SORRY ITS IN MY HEAD BUT ANYWAYS- SHORT N SWEET LES GO

A Dose of Sunshine and Starlight - @give-me-your-monsters a slow burn w/ lots of angst and bittersweet-ness aww but you are all mentally ill.

Bug Love - @theohnocorral the boys are now bug-ified gods and take a liking to a mortal who probably apologies to inanimate objects

Universal Jesters - @lovelymoonmagic you accidentally become the handler to pair of bots with memory loss and mystery trauma

it was, in reality, not fine - @bones-of-a-rabbit you, the reader, have the self preservation skills as a bowl of soup. also oblivious to love hehe

Late Night to Early Morning - Loyal_Backstabber reader meets neglected robot clowns and vows to risk their life for them

Solar Lunacy - @bamsara its- ITS SOLAR LUNACY. anyways you meet certified murder robots and say i can fix em, they’re gonna fix u too.

copper cogs rusted through - @paper-lilypie “oh what’s this, one of these jesters tried killing me? eh it’s fine” then you fall in love

Rotating Shifts - LightningTriceratops protag mistakes sun for unconscious, jaundice ridden man and realizes he’s a robot with a not dead brother and separation anxiety

basically ANYTHINGGG by @naffeclipse , but the first story i ever read from them was In Deep Dreams Between the Waves very different fro, eclipse in sleuth jesters cause he’s actually decent. (also poor vanessa girl don’t get a break)

Clowning Around - EngageSage you overcome your anxiety to protect a poor jester, and are fueled by spite to fuck up moon man for being a certified bitch

Celestial hearts in a purple mind - @kabra-malvada *finds ominous object* *touches it* *is shocked to find they are possessed*

Twin Animatronics With Too Much Time on Their Hands - @twinanimatronics & @dana-chan-the-control-brain you fall in love and fight the temptation to resurrect a dead dude and kill him again

The Night Shift - @certified-handler oopsie you now work with a needy jester who sweeps you off your feet, even more oopsie he turns into a psychopath when the lights go out and triple oopsie you fall in love with HIM too

Star Crossed Souls - @faz-friendly-light-up-shoes reader said “god give me a sign i’ll find love.” gets the sign, and ignores it

404: Personal Space Not Found - CrazedAuthor anxiety filled individual thinks they will be fixed by a child supervisor, gets surprised by his stab happy twin

Celestial Syzygy - @echoingkarma you’re like the jack of all trades, including befriending animatronics who may or may not hate you (and want to maim you) you are probably underpaid.

My Neighbor Mr. Roboto - @kagedbird oh what’s this? you think moving into your new apartment will be simple and boring? WRONG there’s a robot in your closet. and everywhere- why are there so many-

Apology Flowers and Blooming Hours - @daunsun you’d think sentient flowers would have no angsty backstory huh? well actually...

Our Orbit is Elliptical - @sycopomp like your intrusive thoughts came to life, and you choose to ignore them

Lost and Found - SmolShampoo technology is so cool right guys? you got ai, and that ai can get traumatized! how cool??

Stare at the Abyss; It Might Look Back - @characcoon reader becomes a human punching bag and finds new rusty robot roommates. once they escape a deteriorating child’s play place they walked into

Ventura Highway - @madamemiz says “hey is anyone gonna take this robot?” and doesn’t wait for an answer.

Repaired Unstable - @blonde-fraumell you decide to work alongside your childhood friend! oh how non threatening he was- hey why’s this man TEN FEET TALL. and why’s this other man so kickable.

also, obligatory mer may fics! even though it’s no longer may these are still being updated :D

Luminescent Charm - @finfiprince reader finds the fishy dudes they saved as a kid in a cage, continues to spite god until they can save them

Celestial Omens (that really like Fishsticks) - @bamsara (again yes) you save two scared bastard fish and feed them in your bathroom, a decade later they see u and go “well they gave us fishsticks no drowning for them”

See the full post

441 notes - Posted October 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

guess who made one of those ask game things :] yknow cause why not

you know the drill

10,538 notes - Posted October 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

hey look it’s

it’s the thing!

i forgot i had this in my drafts

[dourpeep]

WAIT. I'm losing my mind over that friends to lovers post you reblogged. All I can think about is college Albedo + mutual pining, romantic tension, and friends to lovers OTL

- Leaving little post it notes in his bag or inside the cover of his textbook to tell him to have a nice day or remind him to take care of himself because you know he has a tendency to work too hard sometimes!! And what if he meets up with Sucrose and Timaeus because they like to catch up and sometimes discuss their research or homework, and they see Albedo hiding a grin behind his books and think that he's solved a particularly difficult problem but it's just a cute little note you slipped him when he wasn't looking

- You stay up studying for exams with Albedo and he dozes off on your shoulder so you sit there afraid to move because you don't want to wake him but you're also dying inside

- The two of you go to the library to work but eventually get distracted so it turns into the two you sitting close together on a couch and reading each other sections from your favourite books

- I can also see him as someone who rambles about labs or new research he's absolutely taken by. Weeks later when you mention something he said before, he's a little surprised but you just tell him that you tried your best to understand everything because you know it's important to him and maybe his heart skipped a little

- Going off your headcanons: Albedo looking for little specimens and deciding it could be a fun outing with Klee so she can get some sunshine and you find the two of them in the park. You end up joining them and Albedo's heart softens seeing you and Klee laughing and smiling together!

- I remember this little headcanon you had where he snorts when laughing sometimes and imagine Albedo letting one slip out while he's with you, and Kaeya teasing him later on.

- Eventually, his friends start asking if the two of you are together because of the silent affection and teasing between the two of you. Albedo knows he likes you but he's scared a relationship will ruin everything and you're too important to lose even if it means he never says anything, but little did he know, you have feelings for him too.

Anyway, I hope you have a nice day and week! Sorry about this monster of an ask lmao

NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR ALBEDO

NEVER

Like... there are two characters that I seldom, if ever, turn down and that's my beloved Albedo and beloathed Scaramouche- If you don't want me to shut up about a topic??? Like just utter word vomit???? Bring them up. Bring them up, I dare you--

Okay okay okay okay now lemme just--

oops. 1.4k words. Enjoy your headcanon drabbles, courtesy of me being a hard simp for Albedo--

College au Albedo is pretty close to how he normally is! Brilliant, though having difficulties with making friends and keeping said friends, getting carried away with experiments (did you know if you're on good enough terms with the professors, they'll vouch for you so you can use the lab when there aren't classes using them?? Yeah)...so the friendship that you have with him is certainly the closest one he has.

It'd be the kind where you knock on his dorm or apartment door at 11:45pm with some takeout and your textbooks and he'll let you in without a second thought. You slip inside and settle on the floor next to the coffee table cross-legged, setting the food out as if you don't live a good walk away. He wasn't going to sleep any time soon anyway.

Like the kind of friendship where your hand instinctively slips into his to tug him towards something cool you found or to the café where you tend to go after classes.

Even after you get to your destination, you don't let go.

Now that that has been established--the little notes you slip into his bag or on his books really began as a little reminder. Despite his keen intellect, Albedo tends to easily forget things because his mind is always going onto the next thing. So, being the great friend you are, would just slip a note to remind him to take breaks, eat a snack, or that you're supposed to go and meet Sucrose and Timaeus after class to prep for the upcoming exams.

Neither of you really know when they began to turn into doodles or 'seemingly platonic declarations of adoration'. It's normal for friends to write a heart besides "Don't forget I love you!", right? Yeah.

The smile that makes it's way on Albedo's face is unmistakable the moment that Sucrose accidentally stumbles upon a sticky note carefully tucked in one of his notebooks.

-

Speaking of Albedo and his tendencies to get carried away with stuff, he often functions on...minimal sleep.

Those nights that you pop up at his place to study or just hang out, he often ends up dozing off, glasses sliding uncomfortably down the bridge of his nose and hair tousled out of it's usual style.

You never plan to stay the night (though even when he's awake he insists you do because it's not as safe at night to make the commute home), but you can't just disturb his sleep when it's the first time in a while that he's probably gone without taking a capsule or two of melatonin to help himself back into some semblance of a sleep schedule.

It's these moments that you remember just how soft his hair is and just how nice his shampoo smells.

Also that he's a cuddler.

You awake in the morning, back aching and eyes squinting against the sudden brightness of the world around you and limbs tangled with your best friend. He's unbothered because his face is half-shoved against the crook of your neck.

-

With the library, you often find yourselves in a little game. There's so much to learn and so, so many topics through the old vanilla-scent found between pages!!

So trips to the library end up with the two of you digging and sifting to find a topic you've never heard of, sit and read for 15 minutes, then proceed to explain said topic the best you can (without looking!!). It almost always ends up with a few chuckles from Albedo as you fumble explaining (and half-making up) information and Albedo's (unfairly) great short-term memory winning out.

Speaking of...between actually studying and your little topic games, Albedo turns to you to bounce off his current observations and ideas. Sucrose and Timaeus, though both in similar majors as Albedo, are busy with their own projects and research to the point that they don't really have the time to help with stuff as extensive as his research.

Annnnd, naturally, since you don't have anything better to do and are almost always by his side, you play that part!

You listen intently no matter how dense the subject may be and no matter if you do or do not have the background knowledge.

When you ask him to explain something you don't quite understand, he can't help but blink in surprise because you were listening??? And wanted to really understand? You prove time and time again (even days, weeks later) that you listened to every word that tumbled out during his rambles.

And of course you do! Albedo's one of the most important people to you, so it's only natural that you want to show interest in his interests.

Also it's pretty cool to find out those random bits of trivia (like lobsters and their repairable telomeres-).

--

Klee!!!

Oh man, the first time that you met Klee was a pretty hectic day for Albedo. Due to his Aunt Alice's incredibly busy schedule, he tends to care for Klee on days that he doesn't have class.

However, that particular day he just barely finished class before he had to go and pick her up from school.

With you in tow, that is.

Immediately, the little girl brightens up at your presence, no doubt excited from what she's heard about you (listening in to Albedo's conversations with Alice and the embarrassed tone in his voice when he realizes that he's let your name slipped again and now Aunt Alice wants to know about this particular friend who's captured dear little Bedo's attentions). He's relieved when Klee doesn't immediately reveal that.

From then on, Klee insists that Albedo invites you for every outing they have.

The cafe for a quick treat? The bookstore to sit and read a few books?

"Oh, please please please?? Can they come Albedo? Klee promises that she'll be good!"

Who is he to say no?

But above all, those park days are his favorite. You end up running around with Klee, lifting her up so she can reach a particular leaf on a branch, squatting down to see a bug or lizard that she's entirely enthralled by--all while Albedo sits under the shade of a tree on a blanket, sketchbook and pencil in hand.

You don't know it (even though there's many occasions where he's shown you his sketchbook), but the pages are filled with your smile.

-

Around you, Albedo's found that he's most comfortable.

There's no need to hide insecurities or hold his tongue when something particularly exciting comes to mind...nor does he hold back in his laughter. Especially with your insistence that his laugh is cute.

That scenario with Kaeya is entirely an accident, proof of just how used to your presence he's become.

It's a late night and you're out with a bigger group of friends than usual, some friends that Albedo's only known since the start of college, but definitely good ones.

With a drink in your hand you all sit at a large table, chatting about anything and everything when you crack a joke and Albedo snorts.

Not like a snort with his normally quiet chuckle, either.

Instead, he's laughing hard, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes and stomach hurting (and maybe it's because of the few sips of drink he's had) and he snorts. The moment the sound escapes him and he's trying hard to calm back down, Kaeya grins.

He's most definitely one of the first people to put two and two together.

After all, Albedo keeps to himself, even around them. But with you around? There's a certain spark of life that ignites.

-

It's no surprise that the two of you are close when all is said and done.

But that doesn't stop either of you from choking and cheeks from flushing when someone asks if you're a couple. It happens often--too often to count--and ranges between Kaeya's teasing comments and a few sweet words from an elderly woman passing by your table at the cafe.

And you laugh--you and Albedo--because no, no, you're just friends.

Right?

Then the light hits your features just right, illuminating you in a soft glow that makes your eyes shine and--

It's undeniable the way that he feels for you. The sudden quickening of his heartbeat is proof enough. You slide your drink towards him for him to try and he does the same, eyes unable to leave your lips as you take a sip and then smile.

Between the cracks of his appreciation, of this warmth, dread seeps.

Though...that was just over a week ago.

Sitting down back at his apartment, your head resting on his chest and your hands intertwined while you watch whatever's on tv, you shift. Your lips meet in a sweet kiss.

And Albedo wonders how neither of you managed to see it sooner.

[nagipops]

KONOHA ELEVEN IN A ZOOM CLASS!

FEATURING: naruto, sakura, shikamaru, ino, choji, hinata, kiba, shino, neji, rock lee, and tenten

WARNINGS: mentions of food

NARUTO

definitely has forgotten that he was unmuted multiple times

or his camera was accidentally turned on

you could just see him sprawled on his bed with a bowl of instant ramen on his lap and a blanket wrapped around himself

EARRAPE SLURPS!! rip headphone users.

sometimes he notices that his camera’s turned on and you can see him freak out and scramble to turn it off

but he accidentally unmutes himself too and so you just hear panicked yelling

his device topples to the floor with a loud crash and he screams so loud istg

the next thing you see is naruto’s face hovering over the camera in fear just before his camera turns off and he’s muted again

the teacher is so confused?? naruto should i call an ambulance

but when he’s not eating in class, he’s sleeping in class

too busy sleeping to leave the zoom at the end of class so he’s always the last one left in the meeting besides the teacher

always asks sakura what happened during the zoom and she is FED UP

SAKURA

enters the waiting room 15 minutes before class is actually supposed to begin

spends the next 15 minutes rearranging her work area, making sure she’s prepared for the day

sits properly at her desk with her hair smoothed down and her face positioned perfectly in frame

if no one else has their camera on, she’s the only one with it on

seriously, she ALWAYS HAS IT ON

and she never leaves the screen somehow

diligently takes notes, uses the “raise hand” feature every two minutes to ask a question

sometimes it can get a bit annoying, even for the teacher

but she almost always gets perfect marks

acts like in angel in class, but after class... no promises, naruto!

SHIKAMARU

this man can barely stay awake during missions, so during a zoom? HECK NAH

shikamaru is literally me,, half asleep during lessons but somehow gets amazing grades

everyone’s either pissed at or envious of him (especially naruto)

obviously does not have his camera on

and rarely ever unmutes

uses the chat feature to answer the teacher’s questions but this man is basically asleep so its so incoherent

“shikamaru, what is a hyperbole?”

in chat: “a hyeprbole is a exsaggerayed phras,e”

teacher definitely thinks he’s cheating on tests

INO

either a) daydreaming about boys or b) checking herself out in the zoom camera OR c) secretly fuming at sakura’s know-it-all behavior

the two girls definitely compete to see who can raise their virtual hand first

"ahem, ahem- sensei? could i answer this question?"

her voice gets all sickly sweet and sakura HATES IT

the two of them totally got caught insulting each other in the private chat

100% the type of student to rewrite her notes after classes with various markers and colored pens and pretty fonts and patterns and whatnot

loves doodling flowers in her notebook during boring lessons!

CHOJI

another strong contender for the Loudest Student award!

not on purpose though, he just forgets that space bar = unmute, and plays some jumping game in another tab (like the no internet dino game!)

also,, rip headphone users

c r o n c h munch munch munch

are you kidding this man's chews are loud enough in person, but with a HEADSET?! hoo boy.

has conked out several times during class

just imagine the name Choji Akimichi with a profile picture of a bag of chips light up with the green box around it with a thunk

the teacher and class is so confused

but then you hear mumbles of "barbeque... chips... barbeque..."

and you realize that the man fell asleep onto his keyboard

he sleeps through the rest of class

HINATA

shy bb has never ONCE turned on her camera

the only time she's ever unmuted was to say "here" during attendance on the first day of school

if the teacher ever takes attendance again, she just uses the raise hand feature

what if naruto-kun thinks my voice is ugly? what if i accidentally turn on my camera? what if the teacher thinks i'm not paying attention? what if-

poor baby is too busy worrying about showing herself on zoom to actually pay attention

actually gets good grades though and her classmates wonder if she’s even there

her zoom pfp is definitely just a purple google “H”

KIBA

has the CUTEST zoom pfp hands down

it’s a selfie of him grinning cheerily with baby akamaru

100% has his camera on the whole time to show off his pup

he loves seeing everyone’s faces on screen melt and aww at the lil big doggo

sometimes akamaru just walks in front of the camera and blocks kiba from view and you just see a massive wall of white fur on screen LMAO

even though kiba’s muted, you can see him and akamaru bickering about who knows what

or even play fighting,, these two get into full on BRAWLS during class

just imagine akamaru shoves kiba into his desk and his camera crashes to the ground overturned so you see the ceiling and the occasional dog tail wagging in the corner

seriously, can the teacher ever catch a break with this class?

the answer is no.

SHINO

his zoom pfp is just a tick.

a singular tick

totally answers questions in chat with proper capitalization and punctuation

shikamaru’s improper answers tick him off

“A hyperbole is an expression that is greatly exaggerated. They are used in order to create emphasis.”

has never unmuted in his life either

he’s so unfazed by everything that goes down in class that it’s funny

if anything the slightest bit RELATED to bugs comes up during class, in 0.00238 seconds this man has an entire essay about them posted in chat, almost like he had it copied and READY to paste

everyone's definitely shocked that there’s actually a human listening behind a tick profile picture

NEJI

a very diligent note taker

seriously, this man writes like a printer; perfectly even handwriting that looks like a font, a million words per minute

everyone asks him for his notes after the zoom because they’re so neat (especially naruto, to neji’s dismay)

he gets excellent grades since he’s so organized and focused

just wishes the zoom would be over so he can work alone in peace

really hates unmuting so he often gives one-word answers in the chat

“Yes” “47” “Present” “Goodbye”

has used a zoom reaction ONCE in his life and he has never wanted to crawl into a hole and perish more

it was a complete accident,, mans was just trying to open the chat to type in his answer, but in a cruel twist of fate he clicked on the 😂 reaction

and he just sat there for ten excruciating seconds in complete and utter shock and shame for ten excruciating seconds as he prayed for it to disappear

tenten would never let him live that down

ROCK LEE

Zoom Reaction Enthusiast

😂😮👍🎉❤️ 24/7

naruto accidentally unmutes himself? 😮

choji falls asleep on his keyboard? 😂

neji answers something correctly? 👍

tenten received the highest score in class? 🎉

akamaru appears on screen? ❤️

unmutes whenever he needs to, but he thinks the little emoticons are so silly and cute

otherwise, he is EXTRA FOCUSED and EXTREMELY DETERMINED to learn all of the things

he’s the first to unmute whenever the teacher asks if the class can see the screen share, hear them correctly, etc.

never takes his eyes off the screen!! he could be missing out on important information

I FEEL LIKE,, i feel like he would totally keep his camera off when he’s muted but whenever he unmutes he would also turn his camera on

so when he says a quick “yes!” his camera turns on but before his camera can adjust properly to the light he mutes and turns his camera back off so his face is just super dark for a split second LMAOOO

tell me im wrong

TENTEN

exasperated by this entire class

thinks her and neji are the only sane ones in the class and it’s true

wants to tell sakura and ino to stop competing and just focus on learning, since they’re the only other girls in the class besides hinata

plus she’s just fed up with all the lazy boys

takes great pride in passing every assignment, test, or exam with flying colors

teachers pet, but the quieter type who stays after every zoom and sends lots of emails regarding assignments and grades and whatnot (unlike sakura and ino who rub it in the teacher’s face)

doesn’t like helping other people besides neji, girl’s got a soft spot for him since they have a mutual respect for each other

but if you’re a handsome prince, maybe she’ll help you out!

if you enjoyed this post, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :) feel free to request here, and make sure to read the rules first! have a lovely day everyone <3

[the-storming-sea]

this is the third(?) intro post ive made to my own blog

Hi im Sea. this is the fandom blog where i reblog funny things and occasionally make opinions. sometimes with math

Talk to me about:

Sandman (Netflix)

BNHA (if you haven’t realized that I’m an all might fan) (edit: YES I still am an All Might fan I just subconsciously turn off the bnha switch in my brain whenever hes not in the story)

Ace Attorney (edit: or specifically my personal version of AA that I rotate in my head on a daily basis)

Pirates of the Caribbean.

How fucking cool the ocean is

The Owl House

Kingdom Hearts, tho ask me those questions on my kh blog (@iloveluxu). I don’t do much on it, but if you send me KH asks on there I will talk about it for hours and you will be forced to listen

Batman (2022). No I don't know anything else abt the DC universe other than what's been given to me via mutuals

Welcome To Nightvale

I also really like Everything Everywhere All At Once and Knives Out but I'm not in the fandom or anything I just think they're some of the best movies to ever exist and I rotate them and their hole shaped pastries in my brain constantly

Or if you’re feeling quirky and want to start ~controversy~ (please seriously for real don’t start controversy) ask me my opinions on asian media and representation. This is /gen. I may not be right sometimes, but I am insufferable, and I have opinions

and now. the special™ and sort of long posts.

Why the All Might Quirkless Reveal scene characterizes Yagi and his thinking process the best

All Might and Aizawa AO3 statistics – aka proof that Dadzawa and All Might Bashing go hand in unlovable hand

The Aizawa Critical post where I hand in unlovable hand his actions in-series – but respectfully

Edit: I had an idea abt a quirkless au once, I'm not too into BNHA anymore but I still have thoughts. If u wanna ask

Edit: If ur here from the recent sexyman polls and saw my WTNV post, that was made long before polls were a thing and was made for me myself and I lmao. I like WTNV, not really in the 'fandom' anymore though.

[delvine]

a little mutual appreciation before the new year! <3

@ all my moots: i know i’m not that interactive i’m so sorry pls i hate living in europe take me out pls. know that i love all of you so much you’re all cool as hell !

@okkatsudon : i will probably never forget that you were my first mutual. you’re so sweet and your writing is so good and inspiring. <3

@bbykeijis : idc how offline we both are you are my shawtyy (with consent ofcourse). i just remember when i posted ‘beautiful blossom in tainted lungs’ and your reblog and comment just hit straight to my heart and i got so motivated so, again, thank you so much. you’re so nice and funny and i just love you.

@fushigurin : i only know you for a short while but wow you’re awesome and so sweet and cool and yes. i honestly wanna get to know you better and i hope that goes for you too. again you’re really cool 10/10 mwah !!

@oohirene : you have such baddie vibes it’s unreal! and you’re just so awesome in general mwah! also your theme >>>>

@flowersbloominthedark : oh my god your smau posts inspired me so much! you're so sweet and i get so giddy when you comment on my writing cause it really warms my heart.

@miyuluv : you're lowkey famous in my eyes LMAO. but like,,,in a good way. your theme is really pretty and the sza vibes are off limits!

@babydaddyleorio : first off your username >>>>>>. second off, your works >>>>>. you're really inspiring to me and i hope we can interact more!

@levisblackbabe : also baddie vibes !! i also vaguely remember when you were going on a break or became a little less interactive and you recommended me for my content, i straight up passed away. you're so pretty also pls hand me over that black girl magic right now i need it.

@rumi-core : sigh the reason i'm a sero simp (with pride, i promise). you're so funny also- like 'Keeping up with the Todorokis' had me fucking rolling. i honestly wanna talk with you more so badly !

@0risha : we barely interact but your carrd and theme is really pretty and you seem very cool !

@meirathinks : i just realized that you wrote the modern!sukuna bf headcanons and i'm lowkey freaking out. you're also famous to me lol. your theme is very pretty too !!

@kuroosatoru : your writing is very simplistic. short and sweet and v beautiful ! keep doing what you're doing and i hope i'll get to interact with you soon

@verrion : very pretty theme. i also look forward to your writing content and hope to interact with you !!

@katsdni : my 200th follower i'm still not over that ! i thought i was a katsuki simp, but yeah nah not compared to you wow. you seem very awesome and prob are not even lying. i love how excited you get when bakugo is in the leaks of a new bnha chapter, it's so funny and endearing.

@dejwrites : i honestly have no idea if you followed me by accident, but hi i love your works and theme so much! i lowkey am very intimidated by you but in a very good way

@veenxys : i still cannot stress enough how shocked i was when i got the notif that you followed me. i'm also very intimidated by you but like in a way where you and your theme just seems very divine or angelic idk. you're so sweet too. i swallow your shiggy content whole i love him so much pls

[dxncingwithastrxnger]

I posted 5,199 times in 2022

That's 2,652 more posts than 2021!

320 posts created (6%)

4,879 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@the-ancient-fae

@kohak-u

@matchamenace

@buckybeardreams

@maxipaddy

I tagged 434 of my posts in 2022

#purpleStrxnger - 312 posts

#stranger things - 140 posts

#mileven - 131 posts

#mike wheeler - 108 posts

#el hopper - 93 posts

#eleven - 85 posts

#purplestrxngerasks - 72 posts

#mileven headcanons - 49 posts

#mileven hc - 47 posts

#mike x eleven - 27 posts

Longest Tag: 126 characters

#i have unfinished hizzie fics i need to finish and post im so sorry to the hizzie people who requested/gave me ideas ajakaksjs

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I honestly don't know why I decided to scroll through the Mike hate tag

I knew it would piss me off

I was just curious as to what they were saying about my boy

But, you know, it's all dumb shit

Saw a lot of people encouraging Jonathan to literally beat up Mike in season 5

Like okay, good to know you want Jon to go to jail and Will and Nancy and pretty much everybody to be absolutely pissed at him

I don't wanna rant too much but,,,

What's the point of so many byler shippers hating on Mike??? Like, "Oh my gosh, Mike is a complete oblivious asshole, he should go die in a hole but I really hope him and Will finally get together next season, HAHA" like what??? How does that make any sense to anybody??

Also a lot of people being like, "Oh, Mike and El are gonna breakup and then El's gonna see the "real" Mike for the first time because she no longer has him on a pedestal and she's gonna see how badly he treats Will and then she's gonna be totally pissed at him and hate him so much, lmao" like are you guys serious???

OH and some of my favorites are the ones saying that in season 5, they want literally everyone (yes, everyone. Even Joyce and Nancy and Will and El. Literally the entire main cast) to turn against Mike because they all "realize he's a major asshole who does and says nothing right and treats them all like shit" so therefore he apparently deserves no love from anyone ever

Oh, and don't even get me started on the amount of people claiming they want season 2 Mike back because "he was the best" and "he was the happiest" and "he treated everyone way better" and "he was so much nicer to Will", etc., etc.

If I see one more person claiming that season 2 was Mike's best/happiest season, I will not apologize for my resulting actions

So, anyways, that's the end of my little rant. In conclusion, I should really stop peeking at the Mike hate tags because they always do nothing but piss me off, so yeah, there's that

Have a good day all of my lovely followers and mutuals that I very much love and appreciate, hope you're doing great!!!! 💜💜💜

106 notes - Posted September 7, 2022

#4

what if i write a story about steve and robin, the buckley twins, who share one brain cell, and their adventures of trying to seduce the badass reporter and the emo rocker, huh? then what?

114 notes - Posted August 4, 2022

#3

Okay but

In st5, I NEED a scene between Mike and El where she's responding to his love confession speech and telling him that she does need him and want him and that she always will and that she loves him for exactly who he is, too

I mean, even if it's a flashback or it shows them talking and Mike says something kinda self-deprecating about his and El's relationship to which in response, El's like, "Remember what I told you in the van?" And Mike's just like, "...yeah, but I'm just saying-" and El's just like, "No, Mike. I mean it. I. Need. You. I promise. Okay?"

Like seriously, I need that acknowledgment, it's necessary, man. For the sake of Mike's sanity and self-worth, HE needs it

I mean, honestly, chances are that it DID happen, considering they spent 2 whole days cuddled up in the van together, but still, I want to see it!!! Please!!!

If it doesn't happen, imma write it out

I actually might write it out before season 5

Probably soon

I won't be able to resist, tbh

121 notes - Posted July 22, 2022

#2

Okay, but

Why in hell are there so many people that continuously claim that El needs to be single in order to be independent and become the person she's meant to be? Single and independent are not synonyms. Independent does not mean alone. That's not how it works. They're not interchangeable. You don't need one in order to have the other.

No matter who you do and don't ship, my point still stands. There's so many people that have said it. And among those people, there's so many that claim she needs to be single in order to be herself, to be independent, and use that as their excuse for thinking El and Mike need to breakup, but then go and say that Mike and Will can get together afterwards. Or that El and Max can get together afterwards. If someone needs to be single in order to be independent, does that make everyone else who is in a relationship dependent? Not their own person? Hell no.

And I've also seen so many people claim that El takes after Mike. That Mike is always pushing his likes and interests on habits onto El. That he doesn't let her be her own person and that's what makes their relationship so "bad". That's what makes them have so many issues. Especially in season 3. But no, it's the opposite. They had so many issues in season 3 because El is independent. Because they are two different people. If El wasn't her own independent person, she wouldn't of gone to Max. She wouldn't of followed Max's lead and broken up with Mike. She wouldn't of gone on this whole journey of discovering new parts of herself and as well as exploring all of her relationships with people and then also returning to her relationship with Mike of her own free will and choice if she was not an independent person. If El was solely dependent on Mike and her personality and existence was based on Mike's specifically without her making any of her own choices, she would never have broken up with him in the first place. And in season 4, she wouldn't of argued with him so much.

Mike and El have their issues because they are both 2 different, very independent people who are also both very much teenagers and very much human. But everytime they've had an issue, they've worked through it, just like two people who are in a relationship and want to stay in that relationship do. Some people say that at the end of season 4, they're at their weakest point in their relationship. But no, it's the opposite, they're actually at their strongest. Why would it show them cuddled up together in the hospital while visiting Max if they were still having issues? It's been made plenty clear that if El is mad at Mike, she doesn't want to be around him, so she would definitely not be leaning against his shoulder and holding onto him if she was still upset with him, no matter what was going on around them at the time.

So I've said it before, I'm saying it now, and I will continue to say it in the future. Mike and El are both independent people, even while together. El does not need to breakup with Mike in order to be her own person or to be independent. That is not how it works. Mike and El can both be their own person while also being together. They both are their own person while being together. Just because that person isn't who you personally want them to be, doesn't mean that they aren't their own person or that they need to change some part of them or their life in order for things to be "solved". And El especially does not have to have some "I don't need a man" mentality and lifestyle in order to be her own, usual, badass and awesome self. She's already badass and independent and awesome and incredible and intelligent and unique whether she's in a relationship with Mike or not. Her relationship status does not decide her personality and character and it never has and it never will.

See the full post

132 notes - Posted September 19, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Rules: Tag 9 people you want to know better

Tagged By: @buckywilsonbarnes Thank you for the tag!! 💜

Three Ships: Sambucky, IronWinter, Stuckony (Buct I'm a major multi-shipper so I ship almost everything 😂)

First Ever Ship: Dude, it was during my Twilight phase that I really started shipping so my first ever ship would be like,,, Bella/Jasper, lol

Last Song: Starving By Hailee Steinfeld

Last Movie: Fantastic Four (2012), it was my first time seeing any fantastic four movie, tbh

Currently Reading: Well non-fic-wise, I'm reading Midnight Sun by Stephanie Meyer and Alice by Christina Henry. Fic-wise, I'm currently reading a Sambucky fic called Carry On, Carry On by Fen_Telban on AO3, as well as The Flowers Tell A Story, a Stuckony fic by QJK13 on AO3

Currently Watching: Teen Wolf. I'm on Episode 8 of Season 2 at the moment!

Currently Consuming: Nothing, tbh

Currently Craving: A country fried steak from anywhere that makes one, omg. Literally my favorite meal, hands down. Luckily, we're going to Cracker Barrel for my birthday this month and they have one that's so good 😌

Tagging: @buckybeardreams @sergeantbbarnes @marvelsgirl616 @just-two-kids-from-brooklyn @ace-of-gay @breakablebarnes @peoplealwaysleave89 @olstansoul @we-are-n0t-d0ing-get-help @hallecarey1

You don't have to do it if you don't want!!! Just thought it would be fun 💜

187 notes - Posted February 1, 2022

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[pixiecaps]

I remember like, the first time I saw you. I hadn’t recognized your pfp, and after seeing it a few times on my dash I decided to click. After scrolling a bit, I came to the realization I had followed you on accident (something that happens plenty to me). I usually would’ve unfollowed, but you seemed just interesting enough for me not too. A few months later, I’m surprised when you follow me back, especially since I don’t make original posts, and am not ranboo-centric.

Nowadays, you’ve managed to become one of my favorite mutuals. I always get giddy when I see you in my notifications, and 90% of the time I make note to see what post you liked and/or reblogged. It’s the “I’m getting a good grade in reblogging, something that is both possible to achieve and normal to want.”

We aren’t close mutuals, though I definitely wouldn’t mind it. I’d love to send more asks, however I’m horrific at carrying conversations and also have some social anxiety that makes me nervous. I also don’t want to intrude, as previously mentioned we aren’t close mutuals, and I don’t want to be pushy or annoying, haha. And I would start by responding to some of the posts you make that expect responses, but I don’t refresh my dashboard enough to see them in time. And I don’t know if it’d be appropriate to ask for a discord, which I’m better at checking, because I know it’s usually used for friends.

All in all though, you are funny and witty, and I often to stop and read your posts when otherwise I’d scroll. I like your opinions when you do decide to get serious, and despite some non-common interests, you present them in such a way I can easily engage in anyways. I wish you lots of love and luck, take care of yourself, and keep your chin up, king!

(P.S. sorry for the rlly long message whoops, I hope I’m not too late to send this.)

helllooo anon i think this was for the ask game:0 im sorry i didnt see this hours ago im pretty sure you sent this around the time i went to sleep but yes hii hello!!

“interesting enough” LETS FUCKING GOOO. okay! i usually follow back people i’ve seen around a lot on dash or urls i recognize in my notifs!! i must have recognized you:)

thats so sweet thank you i appreciate it😭 also wanna thank you for sticking around the idea that you’ve grown to rlly be fond of me after accidentally following me is heartwarming

ah dude don’t worry about. look i started this blog because i had horrific social anxiety and my irls were encouraging me to make new friends!! so even though i was shaking and wanted to throw up (that bad ik) i started posting and slowly but surely it wasn’t as scary anymore. it takes time so you can take your time dont feel pressured to interact if you dont want to. that being said i don’t mind if people who arent “close mutuals” send an ask or dms me. you become a close mutual by doing these things ya know😭 oh!!!! you can ask for discord too!! all mutuals are allowed to :) i however suck at holding conversations too so be aware of that lmao

AW TY!! ehehe you like my takes🤭 genuinely though i try to stay away from discourse or serious topics cus it may come off intimidating and thats the last thing i want to come off as but im glad whenever i do make a few posts like that you found it easy to engage:) i will! i am trying my best to take care of myself and for u i shall hmmm i was gonna say go outside but i already have plans to do that so it’d be disingenuous. i’ll just drink a lot of water today 👍 omg have u ever noticed theres no water bottle emoji on ios. i wait every update to see if they added one but nope. i would use that emoji so much…

anon congrats on getting the award of longest ask ever sent BAHSJD i woke up and saw this and my eyes popped in a good way

( also adding this after i posted this. i know anons dont usually like their own asks to stay hidden so i need you to know you seem lovely:D )

[broadstflyers]

A/N: Welp, inspiration struck me, felt as though it quite literally hit me over the top of my head at like 1am, so I proceeded to write this at...1am. It was fun, honestly. It was meant to be a shorter blurb, but I guess it grew into a longer one. I have been experimenting with different writing styles to see which one fits me the best, so I gave the main character a name this time, Alessandra. Also, I was a slight idiot and on my first tag list, I made it specific to the other series I am writing. If you like this piece and the other Mat piece I wrote and you want to be tagged when I post any writing at all, the tag list is here. The semi lowercase thing I've got going on is purposeful. As always, feedback is appreciated, and if you like it, give it a like, reblog, or pop into my asks. Thanks! :)

Warnings: Cursing, angst, mentions of anxiety

Word Count: 1.4k

Summary: When an ex comes back in a moment of weakness, you have to make a tough decision.

you say nothing as you approach the black haired boy sitting at a table in your english class. you sit down next to him. he looks up at you, and you lock eyes. no words are spoken, only a mutual understanding. one that only you two could define. you suddenly inch closer to him, continuing to lean in until your head is resting on his chest. you rest your arm next to your head, and he wraps an arm around you.

home. warm. it was.

you could feel his heart beating out of his chest. your heart fluttered with joy. it was instant. it was marvelous. it was beautiful.

“I love you, Alessandra.”

you lurch forward out of your bed, heart beating so fast you are shaking. you pant heavily, tears stream your face, startled. your eyes dart around your room to ground yourself through watery eyes. you hold up your trembling hands, something that has refused to stop since he walked out of your front door for the last time two months ago.

“please don’t visit,” you choke out. you find the strength to turn around and grab your pillow. your chest pounds with pain, every movement is agonizing. you squeeze your soft pillow against your chest to try and alleviate the self-sustained blow. you pretended the pillow could somehow suck the heavy feelings out of you, the way he used to use his hands of healing magic, the way he used to place them with gentle care on your chest to somehow suck the anxiousness out of you onto himself.

you mindlessly rock back and forth, waiting for the waves of mind numbing pain to recede back into the endless deep abyss of despair.

“please don’t visit,” you repeat in a weak voice. not that he could hear your begging, anyways.

he didn’t hear your pleas to love you how you loved him- with every bone in your body. he held a knife in his calloused hands and carved his initials into your soul. every inch of your soul belonged to him, and you let it.

how can you break a bond that felt as though the angels themselves used their delicate touch to hand-tie the gold string you once believed held you two together?

maybe that explains why this feels like hell.

you flinch as you hear a sharp knock at the front door. you should probably get that, but you instead settle back into your hazy gaze out into your room.

a second knock rings throughout the apartment, faster, with a sense of urgency.

“please don’t visit,” you croak.

“Alessandra,” a voice croaks back. “open up.”

your blood freezes cold, eyes grow wide in panic. fire spreads through your veins. hot and cold sensations rip you apart limb from limb. your voice feels broken. no sounds come out when you open your mouth.

I guess I should move.

so you do. you stand up a little too quickly, and your vision goes black. you place your palms down on the bed and wait for your vision to return. you tip toe over to the door and place your palm on your chilling door. goosebumps erupt on your skin.

“it’s Mat,” his once soothing voice whispers through the door.

“Mat,” you quietly repeat back.

“yes, it’s me,” he says with a sigh of relief that you answered him.

his voice of familiarity is catching you in a stint of anxiety where you just want something- anything that’s familiar. you know this. when you used to gaze into his kind, brown eyes, you would see the boy you met in eighth grade, not the man that walked out that door just two months ago.

you went to move the locks, and you unlocked both of them, until you pulled back with hesitancy. “I can’t, Mat, I can’t,” you breathe out, “I can’t see you. please,” you plead, “hear me. I, I can’t. you didn’t hear me all those months I pleaded with you. hear me now.”

you can hear him place his head on the door with a soft thump.

“I still love you, Alessandra,” he mumbles.

and that was it. you just about exploded. the emotions you had kept at bay were unleashed. you began to sob and you sank to the ground until you could hug your knees. you still faced the door. you knew he shouldn’t walk in, but you almost wanted him to. you wanted him to put an end to this, but was it a good idea?

no, it wasn’t. and you knew that.

you began to take deep breaths to calm yourself down. “it’s unlocked,” you hear yourself say in the distance. you didn’t immediately regret those words like you thought you would. you had scooted yourself away from the door so you wouldn’t get hit.

he slowly opened the creaky door, and glances down to see you blankly staring at your knees. what else could you do? it was awkward enough.

he doesn’t say anything. the apartment is dead.

he carefully sits down across from you, far enough where he isn’t in your face, but close enough that you could extend your legs and they would touch him.

you both sit in silence for a moment, trying to adjust to being in each other’s presence again. his presence felt so natural, yet so nerving. you weren’t used to feeling so on edge around him. so hurt.

“time,” you sniff and break the unbearable silence. “I need time,” you reaffirm.

he nods slowly. “I understand,” he whispers. “I know I hurt you. I know I fucked up. I fucked up badly.”

you don’t move a muscle from staring at the seam on your sweatpants. you take a shaky breath. it’s now or never.

“Mat, do you know how painful it is to have to practically beg someone to not treat you like shit one day and then to decide the next day I’m the fucking greatest human being on this planet?” you start to find your voice again.

“I had to beg my boyfriend to treat me with respect. the person I gave my soul to. do you know how much that fucking killed me?” your voice was seething with anger as you remembered the end of your relationship. feelings of betrayal and hurt overtook you.

you push yourself off the floor. he follows you.

“you don’t love me,” you assert. “you ‘love’ me because of when you met me. I’m just familiar to you.”

he makes a taken aback face, his eyebrows furrow. “hey, I know what I feel okay? and yeah, I was a fucking asshole. I realize that now. I shouldn’t have acted out on you like I did. I shouldn’t have made you beg for basic human respect. I’m sorry.”

you look into his eyes again. those brown innocent eyes were once filled with sparkling joy. you see 13 year old you dancing around with his favorite flower in your hair. you see hundreds of dates, each one more special than the last.

you see innocent you. it’s just familiarity. you know it is. you’re too hurt, mind too foggy to really sort through your feelings to figure out if you love the mat standing in front of you.

“I’m going to need time, Mat. I am still feeling too much hurt to decide how I feel.”

he swallows hard, but eventually nods. “okay.”

with a heavy heart, you walk him to the door. before he can walk out, he stops, turns around, and looks down at you one last time. you gaze up into those endless eyes of his, heart shattering because you know you have to send him on his way. it’s for your own good.

he opens his mouth to speak and you gently shake your head. he closes his mouth, and you offer him a nod as in, it’s time to go. you can see his body exhale. he steps through the door frame, this time you sending him through there yourself. you don’t wait to see if he will turn around. you don’t want to see if he turns around. you want to close that door knowing you are the one who sent him away, and that was all you wanted to remember in the future. and so you do.

you lock the locks with every ounce of you left, pressing your fingers down to make sure the door was actually locked. you just wanted to keep everything out. every weird feeling, any remote desire to go back to him.

you paused to touch the door one last time, letting a single tear flow down your cheek before turning to crawl back into bed and sulk for the rest of the day.

you knew deep down that was the last time you would ever see the face of your teenage love.

he won’t be visiting anymore.

------------

again, here's the link to the tag list, and my asks are open if you want to talk about this piece! I hope you...well...enjoyed it, I guess? lmao

[starker1975]

Hello again

Not everyone who sees this will even know who the heck I am, lmao, but that’s fine. Maybe you can appreciate this message anyway.

First, I just want to say hi! It’s been too long, and I am eager to make up for lost time however I can.

Second, I’m pleased to announce that I’ve returned to both AO3 and Tumblr. I’m going to be slowly re-uploading all of the stories I deleted and reblogging my old moodboards as I track them down. The ones I cannot find will probably be re-uploaded as well.

Third, and most importantly, I want to apologize. I know I left a lot of people hanging when I disappeared with no explanation. Friends, mutuals, and acquaintances. I know I worried a lot of them, too. For others, maybe it wasn’t that deep, but just a case of finding my stories on rec lists with broken links or going to ao3 to reread a story and having it be gone. I know there are a couple of people who started their blogs because of my encouragement, and it must have been frustrating to do that only for me to back out and void my advice. There’s several scenarios and dynamics I could list, but it all leads to the same thing: I’m sorry.

All I can say is that at that point in my life, I was overcome with depression, and I thought getting away from everything and everyone was my only option. I genuinely thought cutting and running was going to solve my problems, but only a few months after I deleted all of my accounts and fics (some dating back to 2013 which really sucks tbh), I realized I had made the wrong choice. Leaving solved nothing, and I learned that the hard way.

I can’t get any of the comments or the message threads back, and I’ve missed out on nearly two years of experiences with friends and mutuals, and that’s a consequence I have to accept. It’s also a consequence I’ve inflicted on others. I want to call it selfish, but a few supportive people I’ve been in contact with have assured me it wasn’t. I don’t really know what I think, but I still feel sorry. Guilty too, I admit.

I wanted to come back sooner, and I struggled with this decision for over a year and have talked so many friends’ ears off about it. Mostly what’s kept me from coming back was fear. I thought I was going to be accused of being rude and cruel, and ostracized or something. Maybe that’s a bit conceited to even say because who’s to say anyone even cares? Idk lmao. But, in my opinion, what I did and how I did it wasn’t cool. All that being said, I decided to take a risk and do a “soft return” on AO3, and literally within a few minutes of posting a story I was welcomed back SO WARMLY I wanted to cry. Nobody was mad at me, and nobody was anything but understanding. I am so thankful I can’t even put it into words. I have been so worried about coming back, and I received so many comments that basically told me that it was ridiculous to even consider that I wouldn’t be accepted back.

Thank you for being so amazing, everyone. It has made coming back feel like coming home. I appreciate your understanding and compassion so much that I feel happier and more positive and more alive than I have in a very long time. Seriously. On the other hand of that, there are probably a few people who don’t understand and don’t forgive me, and I accept that too. If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t have left. I don’t want to specifically reach out to anyone in case they’re not interested, but consider this post me saying I’m open to hearing from anybody who wants me to hear from them.

Lots of love.

I hope you’re all doing well, and Happy Holidays!!!

xx