#LITERALLY MAKES ME WANT TO THROW UP GODDDDD

[quietwingsinthesky]

you know what makes me sooo ill. the fact that eleven sees amy before he regenerates. full on hallucinates her, reaches out for her, calls her name. clara is standing right there, and all he can see is amelia pond. literally drives me insane, clara thought she knew him so well, thought the doctor was hers, in a way, and there's someone else seared onto his hearts who knew him first. and in a few minutes, the first person twelve lays eyes on is going to be clara.

[elsblunt]

because i believe in tribbing supremacy what if ellie asked you 2.. bounce on her clit?? cause like. ellie asking me to bounce on her strap? hot. but grinding rough enough and correctly enough to make it seem like ur bouncing on her clit?? nggh... would get so pussydrunk and sloppy with her words, eyes rolling back to read the entire savage starlight series stamped in the back of her head.

oh my god ur literally too good???? im not the best at visualizing so shoot me if i write this wrong.

ellie’s back fell against the mattress, auburn hair sprawling out over the pillow. she had been needy all day. hands everywhere, the inside of ur thigh, ur hip, the small of ur back. her lips also everywhere, ur neck, cheeks, lips, shoulders, head. u could tell she wanted it, and she wanted it bad.

”touchin’ me in front of all those people…? god, ellie… so fucking needy.” u dip ur head down and suck on her neck, a gasp emerging from her throat. biting and licking the soft skin, moving ur mouth lower on her body, teeth catching her tits.

that was her sensitive spot, those soft perky tits. ur teeth latched on to the nipple, swirling ur tongue around the pink skin, hand kneading the other breast. ellie biting back a moan of pleasure. “oh, fuck..” u left a mark on her tit before moving to the next one, making sure to leave another small mark, just to remind her in the morning.

u lifted back up ur face, peeling off her boxers with ur manicured nails, the ones she paid for of course. a string of arousal stuck to the fabric, a proud smile growing on ur lips. then u slipped off the tiny black laced thong from ur legs, the amount of fabric was small, close to being a thread.

ellie’s breath hitches when u put ur hands behind ur back, fiddling with the clasp of ur bra before it releases, a tiny sigh falling from ur lips when u throw the bra somewhere in the room. her hands instantly fly up to ur tits, kneading and sucking on them when she sits up, softly moaning. “s-sooooo fuckin’ hot..” she slurs with her words before falling back onto the mattress, fingertips grazing ur waist.

then u shift slightly, feeling ur pussy graze against her clit. sure, she loved when u bounced on her strap and the harness grazed against her, or when u guys rubbed clits yk, but this felt so good. and u looked so fucking good.

“b-bounce on it….?”

u furrowed ur brows at ur girlfriend, not truly understanding what she wanted. she sounded unsure herself. “what’s that, ellie?” a questioning smile formed on ur lips as u tilted ur head.

“ple-please, baby— nghh… bounce on m-my clit, please…” ellie pouted, feeling slightly embarrassed by her question. u grinned, rolling ur hips on her skin softly. “like that?”

ellie’s green eyes were dark and full of lust, back arching ever so slightly and small groans bubbling from her throat when u grind and bounce ur wetness on her clit. “ohmy— fuck yes, ju-jus like that.”

u chuckled and continued to grind down on her, the girls back arching and eyes rolling to the back of her head, broken moans and whimpers slipping from her lips. “sh-shit bab…… sooo fuhckin’ goo…d!” u started to feel the sensation from this too, now bouncing slightly on her clit while roughly rubbing urself onto her.

it pulled on her clit perfectly, she was babbling some random words u couldn’t even make out. she pictured u jumping on her dick, tits bouncing with ur head thrown back while u moaned.

”fuhhhhck! god da-damn, shiiiii….” ellie was embarrassed on how close she was, knot building up in her stomach just from this little action. she guided ur movements by grabbing ur hips and making u grind deeply on her, bouncing u aggressively on her clit. “fuck, ellie!” u whimpered from the unexpected guidance.

she bit down on her lip, eyes rolling to the back of her head, she could probably see all those fucking dad jokes back there. ellie’s body trembled slightly as her back arched. “shitshitshit! didn—didn’t expect it to feel this fuhckin’ goo-good…! oh my goddddd.. keep goin’ pleasepleaseplease..” u never planned on stopping. ellie’s whimpers and pornographic like moans making u even more eager.

u realized the familiar twitching and trembling in her body. “gon’ cum, els?” u moan breathlessly, continuing to bounce and grind on her pussy when one of her hands leave ur hips and grip onto the sheets beneath her. “yesyesyes! gonna—gh!”

“cmon, cum with me baby, fuck!” u yell out, head falling back. “i’m-shiiiittttt…. cu— fuhckin’ —cummin’! sogoodohmygo-!”

ur girlfriends green eyes roll back to her head, back arching off the bed as her lower stomach and clit twitches with pleasure as she babbles and lets out broken cries. did it even feel that good? or was she just so drunk on ur pussy that it made the sensation 20x better. u came just at the same time, ur own cum dripping down onto her folds.

“my god ellie…” u breathlessly speak, watching her come down from her orgasm, back falling against the sheets, hand covering her face as she breathes heavily.

“i have the best ideas, huh?”

this was rushed and u can tell but i tried!!💋💋

[mackmp3]

☕how the writers delt with river song

SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP THEY DID MY GIRL SO DIRTY there are so many. good river song moments. and there are so manythat make me want to tear a strip off steven moffat like every goddamn episode with her they have to make some obnoxious sex joke or some Honey Im Home type shit & i understand this is like. A Moffat Theme & i dont always hate it but goddddd its so reductive like there is so much!!!! that could be done with her character !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that is overshadowed by haha what if she was sexy like STOPPPPPPPPPPPP.

like silence in the library was a really good character lead in & i like her!!! as a character !!!! even the overly flirtatiousness unfortunately that would work on me but even aside from that. she is a good character let down but the sheer pull-it-out-of-your-ass writing of her backstory. like?? she could regenerate cos she was conceived in the tardis okay thats really cool much weirder stuff has happened when it comes to tardises & making babies but then WE SeE THIS FOR LIKE. ONE OR TWO EPISODES BEFORE THEYRE LIKE WHOOPS THAT DOESNT WORK ACTUALLY COS SHE'S DEAD UHHH SHE BETTER UHMM IDK SAVE TH E DOCTOR OR SOMETHING WHATEVER> COS HER ENTIRE LIFE HAS TO REVOLVE AROUND HIM. HASHTAG MARRIAGE AMIRITE like even the fact that her entire life was shaped around him isnt a Bad Idea it just feels like no one considered the tragic impies (implications) of this, & simultaneously doing amy so dirty in the process as well like??? she loses baby mels & then discovers she was her (never previously mentioned) childhood friend but then she uhhhh dies & turns into this woman you already know and them????? barely eveer mention it again???? holy shit?????????????????????? amy & river is a freaking horror story but one that the writers seem imcapable of dealing with because sOMEONE is too busy making obnoxious jokes about married life

a lot of thsi is specific to the General Vibes of the eleven era stuff as well which was in general so so weird about women & while its not like twelve or any of teh other doctors are expemt from this eleven is a massive dick to people quite a bit & a lot of this falls on river b/c he is seemingly (iirc i havent seen some of this stuff for a while though it Haunts Me) almost careless? with her? like a sort of 'welllllll she's here now so it was all okay in the end :)' sort of attitude ignoring that she went through A Fuckton Of Stuff before she was even a concious human(mostly??) being

even the husbands of river song is tragically guilty of some of that stuff like. she's seen some wild shit & she should have known it was twelve wayyyyyy way way quicker. like i understand why she didnt for plot reasons but she is in fact very intellegent like. she's allowed to show that. unfortunatley sometimes women cant be smart & have their boobs out at that same time I GUESSSSSSSSS

also the nine & river audios from earlier this year? i really like archipelago i listened to that a couple of times & i thought it was really powerful but AGAIN the writers make river So Fucking Obsessed With Romance like. you'd let it go by that point. nine had literally just proved he's the most aro guy in the universe (good for him) and shes stillllllll flirting at him. which. imo she wouldnt do anymore because, shock horror, she does actually like him as a person & values his company and you would think you would be friends wit hthe guy YOU ARE GONG TO MARRY OR WHATEVER. NOT THAT THEIR MARRIAGE WAS PARTICULARLY ROMANTIC EITHERIM GONNA BE SO REAL. obviously sex is important to her & good for her but yikes. it doesnt need to be mentioned so often.

like its the whole 'inherent tragedy of waiting for a time traveller' stuff which i do eat up every time meeting her in silence of the library & knowong that there is so much more there - VERY COMPELLING !! really good character intro augahagaauuaajaaajahhahahahhhh but nooooo her Entire Fucking Goddman Life has to revolve around being manipulated & The Doctor AS WELL AS !! the completely uncalled for ohhhh im a PSYCHOPATH ( <- unfounded & demonstrably untrue lowkey this is saneism right. thats an ableism there yes? ) thing they alllwaysssss have her say like well!! shes not !! theres 'youre talking about commiting a murder'/'no im not, i'm actually commiting a murder' which i like & is funny & she would say that and then theres teh vauge oooohhhhh im so Freaky & I Have A Gun or whatevr like augsugsaihuahahaouoauauoouauoauoauoauuo

also twelve & river had freaky t4t bi4bi aroallo sex after the end of husbands of river song but no actual dw writer is enlightened enough to see that because they have to flatten her into The Doctors Wife & she would have had a far better dynamic with 12 than with 11 (not that i'm biased) i wish they got more time togetherrrrrrrrrrr also you should listen to the bekdel test (diary of river song audio with missy)

[just4jinx]

ryujin itzy headcanons (nsfw/nsft) (wlw)

warnings: dom ryu, sub reader, mommy kink, fingering, riding, public sex, orgasm denial, slight humiliation, slight overstimulation, cursing, praise.

feel free to send me asks with thoughts and suggestions!

• she’s huge on ‘any time, any place’. you can always tell when she wants you because she always has a certain dark look in her eyes and its enough to make you physically weak at the knees. sofa, bed, bathroom, kitchen, she literally makes it her goal to switch it up every time to keep it interesting.

• she’s also into public sex. it started off pretty tame like fucking you in shop fitting rooms or in public bathrooms, covering your mouth to keep you quiet so you guys wouldnt get caught. but it quickly escalated, for example getting you to ride her thigh in a corner booth in a club, leaving wet sloppy kisses all over your neck making you whine as you grind against her. thank god the music drowns you out.

• she loves to talk you through it, praising you during your climax. “that’s it baby, let it out. you’re doing so well for me.” GODDDDD

• she also calls herself mommy in third person and lets out a breathy moan every time you call her that title yourself. “mommy’s got you baby.. did i tell you to stop?” it makes you die every time without fail omfg.

• she works you up in the most torturous ways imaginable, putting her hands all over your body as slow and as light as possible, smirking at you because she loves to watch you become desperate. she kisses and softly sucks at the skin on your neck as she gropes your breasts, her thumbs soon running across your nipples from over your clothes, just enough for you to feel it and writhe under her because “it isnt enough, mommy.”

• she ALWAYS asks you if you feel good, sometimes moving her hands away from your core with a smug look on her face straight after, simply to be a little mean. “mommy’s getting tired baby, can you fuck yourself on my fingers?” of course she isn’t tired, she’s only going to suddenly pump into you when you least expect it.. she just wants to watch you put on a show for her first like the obedient girl you are.

• she loves missionary over any other position because she adores watching you fall apart below her, gripping onto the sheets underneath or trying to cover your face with your arms or hands. she finds it adorable when you’re embarrassed and vulnerable.

• “what do you want, baby? where do you want to be touched? use your words, my pretty girl.” UGHHH

• she’s extremely cocky at times. if your phone rings she’ll continue pleasuring you and order you to take the call, but doesnt get mad if you end it suddenly due to it being too much for you. it only turns her on more that shes the one making you feel this good. she knows you wont even have the energy to call them back once she’s done with you anyways. LORDDD

• her speed increases every time you come, often pumping into you with two fingers as she sucks on your clit. she wont stop even after you finish just to watch you whine and shake because you’re overstimulated, and truthfully, it hurts. she’s not mean enough to continue though, its just for a few seconds.

• if you come on her fingers she’ll take them out and get you to taste yourself. “how does my baby girl taste? mm good, right?” feeling you suck on her fingers only makes her groan. she could easily climax just from watching you. most of the time she’ll kiss you straight after just to taste you once more on your own lips.

• she doesn’t want it all the time as shes more of a giver, but on occasion she’ll ask you to touch her too. “just like that. fuck, baby..” she talks you through it, encouraging you the entire time and guiding your hands where she secretly desperately needs them to get off. her moans are breathy and low, often throwing her head back and bucking up her hips, especially if you’re eating her out which is her favourite thing ever omfg.

• she constantly curses under her breath as if she cant handle the way you make her feel, as if every time is her first. she grips onto your hair and tugs it slightly without realising but you don’t mind. you wouldn’t dare keep her waiting so you make her come as fast and as intensely as you can, she loves that shit.

• she LOVES eye contact, especially when she forces you to maintain it. she will grip your hair or your chin to make sure your eyes cant leave hers. “good girl, look at me. eyes on mommy.”

lorddd i cant cope

[wormswurld]

thinking abt if ollie and felix went to a catholic school together,, like just imagine all the crazy ass shit they would get up to oh my goddddd…

- first time ollie really fixates and notices felix is during the daily sermon,, just seeing him in his “sunday best” with his hair all messy drives him crazy 😵‍💫 and oh felix might be a little rebel because does ollie see an eyebrow piercing???

- in the following days ollie starts spotting (stalking) felix more and more,, chatting with his friends in the courtyard, sneaking away to smoke a cigarette outside, falling asleep during history…and he wants to do something wants to speak to felix and let his voice envelope his ears and nothing else but That’s Not Possibe…cue “everybody loved felix and that was the problem” lol

- and essentially ollie manipulates his way into a “chance” meeting with felix lmao literally doing the shit he pulled in the movie @ oxford & of course felix eats everything up!

- instead of going out to the pub felix sneaks ollie around the campus at night,, breaking into the priests office to steal some sacramental wine then making their way on the roof of the main building to drink & smoke

- after a bit of knowing one another they start stealing more glances from each other during prayer,, felix just throwing ollie a smug smile whenever he catches ollie staring at him during prayer

- omfgg felix getting ollie high as they continue their little weekend routine of sneaking around yet this time felix takes a little detour into the confessional booth 🫣

- felix OBVIOUSLY having caught on ollie’s growing obsession he uses this moment to his advantage,, taking place of priest he commands ollie to confess his sins and oh my god ollie is meltingggg, the high taking over him and absolutely washing away any doubts of fear or judgement

- after a few moments of sitting in silence ollie finally feels the words just spewing out of him,, tightly gripping his thighs as he just pours his heart out to felix…making sure not to skip over the times he’s caught felix hooking up with some girl

- and of course felix is enjoying this like how could he not??? and to push ollie even further he just questions bluntly: “all those times you saw me with a girl you wished that they were you didn’t you? just wishing i had my hands all over you instead, right ollie?”

- and godbless ollie because if he didn’t know any better he would cum on the spot but all he could do is pathetically palm himself through his trousers with his heart absolutely beating out of his chest his shudders as he responds to felix’s factual allegation “yes…god...yes…” but that just wasn’t enough for felix,, he needed to push ollie over the edge 🤭🤭🤭

- “yes what oliver?” and ollie, quite literally falling apart at felix’s words finds it in within to correct himself,, absolutely terrified of felix’s disapproval “yes father…” FUCKKKKKKKKKKK

[elsweetheart]

sorry but now i need to see a timeskip of now wnba!abby her lovely housewife!reader and their soon to be born baby . . . sawry ur literally making me go insane

GODDDDD YOU WANNA KILL ME DONTCHA

i honestly feel like the two of you wouldn’t even wait that long to start your family. abby gets scouted for the wbna pretty much immediately out of college, and for the next few years you’re watching her live her fucking dream, whilst she funds whatever dreams you have because she’s insistent on it. always grabbing you by the shoulders, nudging your cheek to look at her with her knuckle and telling you “hey, i want you to have a life too yeah? whatever you want, let me give you that.” and almost everytime she promises that, it ends up in you getting fucked with your legs over her shoulders.

but she means it, and she follows through with it. but for the most part, your favourite endeavour in the world is being her pretty little spoilt housewife, forever being greeted with a dozen roses with swarovski crystals and jewellery from posts she’d found bedded in your twitter likes, because abby pays attention. even when she’s playing her heart out, even when she feels like she’s losing, she’s dead set on giving you the life you deserve so that you don’t feel overshadowed by her.

and then a few years in, when basketball is taking a slower mile, she’s taking that opportunity to start a family with you because she’s dying to see you all swollen with her baby.

you come to her game, sitting courtside with a reserved empty seat next to you when you get the news, practically buzzing the whole game. she wins, inevitably — and comes to greet you like always, pressing a firm sweaty kiss to your mouth, accepting your “well done, abs!”. her eyes flicker to the seat beside you, the empty seat reserved under your name, breathing out a “you invite someone today?”

“no actually, just figured i should start getting used to reserving two seats now abs… i’m pregnant.”

and of course abby cries, and hugs you, and spins you around, and tells the whole world because you’re pregnant. you’re starting a life together.

and abby absolutely spoils the shit out of you when you get pregnant. god, you don’t even know the half of it. she’s scheduling in top midwives and booking you spa days and letting you decorate the baby room however the hell you want because god forbid she upsets her pregnant wife.

and when you start showing there’s practically no room for insecurity, because she’s always kissing your tits and rubbing your feet like you’re some kind of princess, and gently finger fucking you like you’re made of glass making you gush on her fingers again and again and again until you can finally see past the discomfort and get a good nights sleep. like you deserve.

and god, abby talks to the baby all the time. you find out you’re having a little boy, and she’s thrilled. she would have been thrilled either way, but she’s thrilled. you catch her looking up jerseys for babies on her phone, which makes you giggle. she tells him all about it, laying her cheek on your thigh, stroking your big globed tummy.

you pretty much have to beg abby not to take a break from the wnba just to become your full time pamperer, and you come to as many games as you can still, especially at the start — even if you’re throwing up into a trash can at half time. she of course plays even better than before, the sight of your smiling face in the audience, your hand rubbing over your belly. she can’t hear you over the crowd, but she can see your lips moving and she knows you’re talking to her son quietly, telling her that moms winning, mom always wins.

[godisshook]

Distraction

Marco started up his live stream just like any other day. He streamed a variety of things, but most ended up with him showing his body, to which he had built a huge following. His boyfriend, Cade, loved to occasionally pop into the stream, usually just giving a wave, and sometimes, if he felt spicy, giving him a kiss on camera. Today, he gave his usual wave to the camera, and Marco's chat commented as usual.

@Dr1pDr0p_: Why don't you put him on stream more?

@ziggytwiiggy: He's such a hottie! You two should do something on camera ;)

Most of the time, Cade did his own thing while Marco streamed. He was playing Pokémon as Marco was streaming, but as Marco began flexing on camera, a mischievous thought crossed Cade's mind. Marco didn't know it, but tonight was going to be different. As the stream progressed, Cade began giving Marco bedroom eyes, which immediately caught his attention. He walked over from the bed to Marco, and kneeled down, rubbing the outline of his cock.

Unable to resist his charm, and with his cock now throbbing, clearly desiring release, Marco tried to end the stream early, but Cade nodded no, as he snuck under Marco's desk. "What do y'all wanna see me play?" Marco would ask his chat, not knowing what Cade had in store. Trying to distract himself, and hoping to keep the stream on track, Marco would start to play Call of Duty. He would feel his shorts get pulled down, as his cock bounced up. Cade would then start fondling him, licking around the tip of his cock, as precum dribbled out. He would continue, and Marco wouldn't be able to keep his composure, clearly having his attention pulled. His gameplay started to suffer, as he simply couldn't focus on anything else but Cade sucking him off.

His chat would begin to notice, as he stopped talking completely, with Cade still working his magic below.

@xvii-livvie: Is he getting head? It literally looks like his eyes have rolled back in his head.

@ziggytwiiggy: This is his sixth death in four minutes, I fear he's done playing...

@ryeprodigy: Idk what's going on, but this is his hottest stream!

@Dr1pDr0p_: Oh wow, it looks like that boyfriend of his didn't want to wait 😋

Stream mods would limit the chat, but everyone was talking about it. "Guys uh, I think I might need to...fuckkkk, end the...goddddd, stream early," He rushed to click the "End Stream" button as Cade continued working on his dick, now swirling around his shaft, slurping all over his hard cock. He worked his way to Marco's balls, not only licking them but kissing them as well, as they bounced on his face. Going back to his cock, he would lick Marco's slit, "Fuckkkkk," Marco would grunt as Cade continued to tease his cock.

Taking control, Marco gripped Cade's head and began thrusting him into his cock, speeding up as Cade began to choke. Marco couldn't help but cum, and as ropes of jizz came over Cade, he looked up at Marco from under the desk, smiling as he licked up the cum from around his mouth. "You really know how to make my cock feel good," Marco said to Cade as he bent down to kiss him. After being released from Marco's deep kiss, Cade said, "Well since you decided to end the stream, how about we keep going?"

Cade started to rise from under the desk, lifting Marco's shirt to reveal his toned body underneath. Marco would lift Cade's legs and would hoist him up on his waist, lowering him onto his rock-hard dick. Cade caressed Marco's face, "You're so handsome when you're horny," With this, he kissed Marco, and Marco would reply "You're so hot when I'm in you." With this, he would start raising and lowering him on his cock, to which Cade would throw his head back. "I guess it's your turn to roll your eyes back." Marco would say, as he continued penetrating Cade.

The two started to come into a familiar pattern, with thrusts and kisses mingling with each other, as the air between them became hot. Marco would hoist up Cade, and move them to the bed. Cade wrapped his thighs around Marco's waist, securing himself to him. With them finally on the bed, Cade would bounce up and down on Marco's cock. He had dealt with Marco's size many times before, and even though he could never be fully used to it, his hole was stretched enough to fit. Cum surged from Marco's dick as it filled Cade, and started to leak from within him. Cade wrapped his arms around Marco as the two lay down. "I hope I didn't ruin your stream," Cade said, looking at Marco guiltily. Marco took a hand to Cade's face, and replied, "I would take this over a fucking stream any day."

[eurydicees]

Tbh I desperately need to reread haikyuu but i think if I will do that I will start crying again especially w/ karasuno characters + nationals again (no one is going to die no one is going to be brought back ++ we don’t need memories ++ kageyama backstory ++ Brazil arc) and I think if that happens the adrenaline I will get from finishing the manga will make me sign up for a marathon and I don’t want to do that

anyway! Enough abt haikyuu! What are your favorite bllk characters/moments (if you want to answer ofc) hope you have a great day!!

as someone currently rereading haikyuu, can confirm that the adrenaline rush of it all is REAL. and also so is the crying. i got to the end of the kamomedai match and nearly started sobbing in public at work. its the everything. we dont need the memories. mediocre me do you have time to look down. no one is going to die, no one is going to be brought back to life. it was the most fun i've ever had. the idle fleeting thought that he was a star. this too is volleyball. our spring is over. i wanted to go further with this team. what will you be tomorrow. sobbing as i type fr fr fr.

anyways enough of the crying!!! re: blue lock, favorite characters oh god. ok this list has changed DRAMATICALLY since i first started reading. but favorites are def bachira (it's the loneliness and the monster and the growth and the kindness) and kunigami (bring him back i miss him he's literally so fucking tragic and for what).

honorable mention to rin, who i have recently begun to feel fucking deranged about. i 100% blame this on the most recent chapter. i also think niko is neat and deserves more screen time/development. that scene from the very beginning with him crying and isagi saying this feels good lives RENT FREE in my head.

the entire u20 match is crazy and is def my favorite arc in the manga so far. im so excited for an entire season of that game. its gonna be so insane. the "LUCK" panel actually made me scream out loud. i felt crazy reading that shit.

other favorite moment is bachira's awakening where he throws away the monster and goes for goal himself....gODDDDD. bachira <3333333 also contender for one of the best moments in the manga is in fact isagi "how does it feel to be the clown of my story". OH and also isagi and barou i will devour your darkness and turn it into light. ALSO ALSO kaiser's mental breakdown. 10/10 character arcs right there.

sorry this took a literal year and ten days exactly to answer btw. i appreciate the ask i swear!!!! hope ur doing well anon <333

[cinnamonanddean]

Oop I think we're gonna have to do this one live:

God I love seeing Lionel in distress, I wish he'd die right here.

Mmm I think we're in for a sweaty damp injured Lex episode, bless. He needs to be tied up more, I feel like it would help him.

Honey, your security is famously garbage. I wouldn't bet on them.

"haven't you ever done anything crazy for love?" yeah but my style is more fake pregnancies.

"lately I've had moments where I thought the world would be a better place without him" sweetie we NOTICED WHEN YOU ALMOST LET HIM GET SHOT IN THE BRAIN

Oh my gosh is Clark gonna be stuck down there with no powers??

"it'll mean a lot to Lionel that you're here" that man can rot in hell. I wish Lana would go in there and give him a nice morphine bottle to the IV

Ooh yes girl, play the family card. May as well use all your advantages.

OH DAMN THIS IS EVEN BETTER GO OFFFFFFF LANA

Lionel, I wouldn't believe you if you said the sky was blue and grass was green.

Badass Lana is BACK. God I want her to step on me. What a queen.

Wait what the hell is that female chain mail figure thing in Lex's office?? Looks like something out of a video game, that's weird as hell.

Oh god this is going to kill me. He's literally bandaging Clark's arm while yelling about Clark never trusting him. This is a fanfic goldmine.

I'm going to THROW UP.

So is Clark. God is Lex gonna have to pull him out??

Convenient of the woman to put timers all throughout the tunnels.

Uh oh

"Were we ever really friends, Lex?" CLARK YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH

"I have nothing to compare it to. You were the only real friend I ever had, Clark." Brb throwing myself into the SUN 😭😭😭

Lex, don't you dare.

OH MY GODDDDD

HE CAME BACK OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY FOR DOUBTING YOU HONEY 😭

Can they please just KISS ALREADY this is making me want to D I E

Oh jeez, Lana, your timing is just not good

Ah shit, Lionel is still alive. I knew he would be, but it's still disappointing to see.

Uh ohhhhhh.

Oh shit, she is turning this baby thing around on him SO WELL. God they're SO toxic, I love it.

"I saw a glimpse of something I hadn't seen in years. My friend." STOPPPPPPP 😭

Lionel is garbage, Martha

"What if part of who Lex is, is because of me? What if I gave up on him too soon?" What if I clawed out my own eyes? What then??

[heatwa-ves]

please explain your izuleo playlist with as much detail as you want im interestedddd

MIKIIII THANK YOU. okay here's my playlist and im gonna do a song by song breakdown... I'll try and keep it decently brief so this doesn't become one million words but we'll see. my playlist is vaguely chronological so it starts pre-checkmate!

astroboy- suggi

okay so this one is just straight up a leo song. you just have to listen to it it's literally about him "I raised my hands up real high, they called me stupid when I asked why we couldn't fly. am I too far ahead of my friends, or I am late?" hellooooo hello. hi. leo tsukinaga everyone!!!! right down to the moon/space theming

"oh, the rain, you're losing your flame, where'd the burn, the passion go? you run through the pain, you're losing your aim, and you feel like you alone missed the grow" LITERALLY about his breakdown post checkmate. uagh.

cheerleader- ashnikko

an izumi song!!! I don't have to explain anything here you get the vibes

brand new city- mitski

having to preface this by saying I do not listen to mitski this is the only song of hers I listen to and only because it makes me think of izumi so much I feel like throwing up.

"If I gave up on being pretty I wouldn't know how to be alive, I should move to a brand new city and teach myself how to die." yeah. izumi sena.

yoru ni kakeru- yoasobi

well I'm sure you know this song and the story behind it "the seduction of thanatos" I think it works very well about the izuleo dynamic around this time when they're very codependent and leo is so severely depressed and suicidal. they're fucked up 👍

it's all so incredibly loud- glass animals

so this one makes me think of izumi going to see leo in a similar vein to lionheart but probably before that and he sees leo so broken and neither of them can bring themselves to say anything. "I tried, for you and I, for too hard, for too long" makes me think of the ending scene of lionheart and so on

softcore- the neighborhood

"you've been my muse for a long time, you get me through every dark night. I'm always gone, out on the go, I'm on the run and you're home alone"

"every time I kiss you, baby, I can hear the sound of breaking down"

you get it. you see the vision. more depression era stuff.

less of you- keshi

depression era leo... there's so many lines in this song that correlate to them but a fav is "too much time in the limelight, gimme your all on the land line, want it so bad but I won't lie and it just gets worse in the night time."

are you happy? - shy martin

"and I know I thought that pain's part of love, but I think I broke you, though I didn't mean to. but are you happy, looking back at us when you met me? would you go back and tell yourself to leave it, knowing what we know?" UARFGHBHBB izumi.... who killed cock robin ass song.

from now on we are enemies - fall out boy

I've talked about this one EXTENSIVELY before but it really is just a song about leo tsukinaga. what else can I say.

always- keshi

well yk.

bad thoughts- half alive

i love when they hate eachother. they don't actually truly hate eachother but man sometimes it feels like it. everything hurts. "like a time you gave your all but just got hurt, like a crack in the mirror bringing out your worst"

to everyone who wants to die- takayan

read the translation oh my goddddd. leo. leo

sing to me- missio

this is a song I DREAM of making an animatic to its just so deeply fundamentally leo

never ending song- conan gray

okay this one is a bit more specific but I like to think of leo while he's out of school seeing izumi in a magazine or an ad or something.. and that brings with it a whole ton of complicated feelings

"but we've grown too close, now it can't amount to nothing. I can hear your voice in the music on the radio, and it goes on and on and on, like a never-ending song" you get ittttt

bodybag- chloe moriondo

more of the vibes more of the complicated feelings . this one is mostly here bc I love it and was thinking about izlo while listening icl. unrelated but chloe moriondo is cool as hell they have some awesome music videos especially the one for this song

love or the lack thereof - isaac dunbar

the epitome of pre/early ! izlo love. to meeee also I just love love loveeee it as a song

last minute - kitty

"you're the loop of rope I hung up in my stupid closet" "you're all poised and im made of poison" do you get it do you GET it. it's leo about izumi frfrfrrr

"could you wrap your hands all the way around my neck, and tell me where I stand, tell me everything I'm wrecking when I spin. take over my breath, in out in, I am missing you to death"

android girl- deco*27

I love this song and while I love the original im partial to rachies english cover especially the lines

"we restart and fall apart together, what we have will drag on in this way forever"

"make it stop, make it stop there's so much guilt and regret, I don't get how I can forget and start to hope again, we haven't even come to the end, so much for promising together forever, we aren't even friends"

the girl in my memories- jeebanoff

"in place of your fleeing love, only my sad solitude remains, even though that time won't come again, the memories that are gone, are forever" more depression yaaay

achilles come down- gang of youths

SORRY it's just such a compelling look at depression and being suicidal... so many of these songs are about Leo's depression but I swear this part of the playlist is over soon and moves further in the timeline. I really love this song it's just... everything about it... leo is achilles here of course and the voices talking him down and telling him to go through with it are his family/izumi and his own mind/the students from school respectively.

calender girl- stars

"all of the things that I thought were so easy just got harder and harder each day. december is darkest, in june there's the light, but this empty bedroom won't make anything right, while out on the landing a friend I forgot to send home, who waits up for me all through the night- calendar girl who's in love with the world, stay alive"

HEALING!!!!! GROWING AS A PERSON!!!!!! OVERCOMING DEPRESSION!!!! DO YOU GET IT

"I dreamed I was dying, as I so often do, and when I awoke I was sure it was true. I ran to the window, threw my head to the sky, and said "whoever is up there, please don't let me die," but I can't live forever, I can't always be, one day I'll be sand on a beach by a sea"

crush of judgement- knights killers

i don't need to explain this one

move me- half alive

THE izuleo song THE reason I made this playlist. won't you be my song when I cant dance WON'T YOU BE MY SONG WHEN I CANT DANCE!!!!!!!!!!!! LIGHT MY FIRE BURN THE TREES!!!!!!!!! also watch the music video it's gorgeous

the third heart- harumaki gohan

first of all go play genei ap rn it's a short mobile game created by this artist featuring lots of their songs about a reserved girl who loves music and her more extroverted friend who asks her for song recs. it's a very izuleo vibes game and just a beautiful game in general I think you'll love it sm mikiii

second of all.... just. this song. play the game and watch the music video for the full impact frfr 🫶 anyway back to izuleo

back around- half alive

depression never truly leaves but you get better!! it gets better!!! there are bad days but there are so so many good days!!! this whole album is kinda izlo vibes

you get me so high- the neighborhood

"you're my best friend I'll love you forever" 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 makes me think of them... kind of talking about their past .... not very well because they have no emotional maturity but still.

silent oath- knights

for obvious reasons

reunion- harumaki gohan

I imagine this is after the end of ! era .. they've both grown and matured immensely as people.. it'd probably have more impact if I read requiem but um..... I'll get to it... (I've been saying this for a year and a half) to me it's a goodbye to their teenage years and the ups and downs and them moving forward into adulthood and a more stable relationship

don't be so hard on your own beauty- yeule

they help eachother heal 🥹. this one is a bitttt more reliant on some of my takes on izumi that I don't really wanna get into rn but yk. it's here. it's vibey. things were bad and now they are better. there's sunlight streaming though their apartment window. they don't have anywhere else to be this morning. yk.

work of art- downer Inc, kellin quinn

ueeeghhvhb they love eachother.... izumi brings leo inspiration.... these descriptions are getting less and less coherent

I swear ill never leave again - keshi

ueeeeueueueuehhhehhehhehuuueueue

infinitely ordinary- the wrecks

I like the romance of mundanity.. I think they could be happy.. it's very hopeful and a good ending to the playlist

[evansbby]

GURLLLLLL

WHAT A ROLLER COASTER IT HAS BEEN BESTIEEEEEEEEEEE👁️👄👁️😵

OH MYY GODDDDD

This dumblr won't let me write long comments so here it is

Wanda bro she ain't a girl's girl she knew reader would be uncomfortable around ari but still draged her to see the practice nopeee hate it hate it hate it hate it absolutely hate it(I literally had a friend like this yrs back😐, OMGG it fucking sucks to friends with such people😵‍💫) ALL I SE IS A ONE SIDED FRIENDSHIP

Now coming to the boys😭

"You better be fucking sure, because I know guys like him. He's a fucking slimeball who would've been happy to touch you even if you were unconscious."

Sir and what did you do u fucked when she was high and you were the one who gave her the drug and not just fucked her you manipulated her to have sex with infront of like a hundred people then you would make her your girlfriend. And then u fucked left her to fend for herself when was high off her ass, you weren't worried that time , whether someone is gonna take advantage of her? And we don't even know how he manipulated her when it was her first time she was a Lil drunk that time too wasn't she! (I think she was this was mentioned in part 1) The audacity of this man like bro- just shut up.

He backs away as if you've stung him, or flung a vial of poison right in his face.

He is hurt???? He has the audacity to be hurt?? When for weeks he has been using her and throwing he like a chewing gum when he is done? Like the party was the first time he helped her clean up! The first time he took a pert in aftercare! And he is hurt??? And didn't your text just a few days ago read you have other girls! Wowwwww that text was like acid on my veins not gonna lie, Bro- you need to fuck off

"I am attracted to you"

My heart did a summer-sault here🥹

This was also the scene where he said he wouldn't take advantage of her I remember that. Man he is also a slimy motherfucker can't lie🥲 but ari took advantage of her the same night too so I gues this point is over-ruled. Also Stevie boy gets a point here for being so direct and hot and bde😗

"Say it, then. Say you'll text me tonight."

5 summer-saults🫡😃🤸🤸🤸🤸🤸

Stevie gets a point here too for being such a hot stern daddy😗

would Steve forget about you now that she was here?

Ari looses points here for making her this insecure 😭. Like if she might be insecure in general even before she met ari that is a possibility buttt butt butttt in this sentence right here she is not just in general insecure she is particularly insecure of Sharon🥺, which is Ari's doing making her belive she is not good enough💔 to be not just his but anyone's girlfriend. Good going ari good going 😤

A part of you wants to move away from Steve out of respect for Ari,

He was jealous!!!! Wowwww likee howw broo weren't you the one kissing your girlfriend a few days ago right in reader's face and now you are jealous. And still reader is too nice on him 🥲

"I told you he was trouble, didn't I? Now he's physically attacked you in front of everyone. He's a fucking psychopath-"

She got hurt and he still wanted to prove the point that he was right brooo Just stop being so self centred 😐

The brunet's features soften.

"That's a good girl,"

"You're being such a brave little girl."

Ok here he was really soft and making my heart all squishyyyyyyy but then reader said this was the first time he was being soo kind 🥲 bro has been seeing her for weeks and was the first time he was being sooo soft nooooopeeee he loosing points again not that he has any😐

"What, like Steve? I already told you he's dangerous."

And you are a prince charming 😃🤡

"Look, the only reason he even asked you out is because he wants to get back at me."

Woowwowwwwwooooowwwwoooowwwwooowwww it's not like you've given her all these insecurities and now you are being sooo sooo soooo insensitive about this topic tooo bro is really self centred and suddenly he care it's deff for her eon good and has nothing to do with his won personal reasons definitely I believe you Ari😐😐😐😐😐😐😵🤡

Because God forbid a guy likes me for me, right?

Have you heard that Audio on tik tok where a bunch of women (Megan fox and Harley Quinn) applys make-up violently,(the female rage) ya that's what I was feeling heree, Ari is loosing points again 😒

"Okay then, water it is."

Stevie gets a point here tooo ✋ becauseeeeee she didn't even had to say no to him he understood her before she even said it didn't force her in alcohol consumption I know the bar of standard is in hell but as we are comparing between the 2 boysss, Steve deff should get a point here. Ari literally manipulated her into taking that drug the night of frat party and here Steve didn't sooo definitely faar better than arii he is hereee😤

"I'm really happy you said yes to this date, baby girl,"

"You did wear it for me, didn't you? Just me?"

5 summer-saults again 🤸🤸🤸🤸🤸🥹

And also the part where he said he won't be Happy if she ever mentioned ari or if she is dating him just to make ari jealous

Omgggomggggomggggggggomgggomgggomhghghh I personally found that part really hott like my hot stern daddy is back again I love it when he makes an appearance it soo sexyyy and the was he said itt 😮‍💨🤤 bro his personality realllllyyyyyyyy hot let's be real here (more than the so called other main character 🤡)

So now whether the date was real or not?

- I personally think the date was definitely real I think he did plan them a date but seeing his sister stuttering so much and being so anxious did a number on him and brought back ugly memories and that's when his mood changed

Steve nods, looking distracted as he watches after his sister through the glass pane of the door. His smile from earlier is still plastered on his face, but it no longer seems to reach his eyes. The atmosphere, the air itself, suddenly feels heavier, different in a way, and you can't quite pinpoint what it is.

This is definitely the part where his mood changed just when Kiara left the room

I think Steve approached her on that night because he found her attractive and then when she told him she was associated with Ari that's when Maybe he decided to play her and use her to get on Ari's nerves

He is definitely attracted to her but also he wants to be with her to piss off Ari even he genuinely approaced her the 1st night he is definitely stringing her along not only but Ari definitely makes more the 50% of the reason

I definitely think Ari did something very horrible to kiaraa that's why Steve is behind reader to take his sisters revenge or something I mean he did make a mental note when Sharon said Ari was not the possesive typ and realised but Ari was possesive about reader so he went after her instead of Sharon

( also just realised if Steve was only after reader because of ari then he should have also tried this on Sharon but he didn't not that we know of)

So bottom line is Steve was trying to sleep with reader because of Ari definitely but also he is attracted to her

And when he saw the state of his sister may he was hit by the reason why he is on that date and thus the reason he got so violent

( also I'd like to add that I think he wanted to take her on date why would he let her meet with her sister? And also say that her sister and reader could go thrifting together?)

And now the scenes where they forced them upon reader!

Ok why is everyone only talking about Steve? Like Ari also forced himself upon her the morning after the frat party

And she did tell him stop multiple time but he just didn't and spanked her Bro- like why is no one talking about that. When he got jealous the pused her against the wall and choked her!! And shee was literally having a Hard time breathing and that smut with Ari was non consensual!

And Steve got carried away his mood changed when he saw his sister and was going to use for sex she did tell him multiple times to stop but he didn't and then on top of it he made that Ari comment

(Right now Steve doesn't have feelings for Reader I mean like common they have met like 3 times soo that is obviously he doesn't have feelings for her he is just sexually attracted to her)

Bruh I just wrote a para about how ari cares about her where did it go?????😭😭😭

(Ok soooo ari cares about her I can see ari cares about her he has been seeing her for weeks like he even watched mean girls with her so like bro does have some feelings for her)

Ok so my point is one is behaving like shit even after he has feelings for her like the morning after fart party he didn't apologize bro literally said I won't break up with my girlfriend but we can go on date when everyone is asleep 🤡 and didn't even register the part where he choked her and slammed her against the wall- like how was he behaving when he didn't have feelings for her? In the initial stage I mean he did took advantage of her and took her virginity and then left her with no aftercare 🥲 this guy has feelings for her but when he brokeup with his girlfriend he was behaving so nonchalant likeeee-???? Is she supposed to forget all the other time u treated her like shit! Just cause you broke up with your girlfriend?

And the other is behaving like this when he doesn't have feelings for her idk like he apologized for his behaviour which ari didn't when he got angry on Steve's topic!!! They are both fucking terrible and Steve actually stopped which ari didn't when they were both getting violent🙂 Steve registered the part where he shouldn't have done it and he lost control sorry but I didn't see Ari doing that

I think if Steve would have known for as long as ari knows reader he would've treated her better

(what I want to say is if Steve had the time to develop feelings for Reader I think he would've acting much less meaner than ari!)

Steve did loose many points in this scene so I guess his point is zero and ari has his scores in minus even after he broke up like bro was acting so casual ahhhhh I don't like him

I think I'm still on team Steve after reading this part

Gurl this got longggggg

It was an amazing chapter omggggg I fucking loved it soooo muchhh I always get thrilled for everything you writeeeee no surprise this was soooo perfect toooooo what an amazing ride reading this chapter has been 😮‍💨😮‍💨🥹🥹🥹🥹 I loved it sooo muchhhh and I loveee youuu💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

And Im still fond of Steve IDC what people sayyyyyy

My stern daddy can still redeem himself I know itttt🥹🥹🥹

(And also I have a question I hope daddy Steve did throw the ball purposely 😭 I mean he didn't but still there's a 0.000001 part of me that thinks he did .he didn't right.?)

-💗

OMGGG BESTIEEE first of all??? This review is insanely long and i LOVE that like it puts such a huge smile on my face!!! And secondly, please excuse my lack of emojis, i had to switch to my laptop so i could reply properly!!!

LMFAOOO yes!!! Finally, someone is calling out Ari's double standards... he's not exactly Mr. Consent now is he??? Hehehe. This whole chapter, I tried to write Ari in a kind of funny, indignant way. Like, I purposely made it so that he was sooo huffy and indignant about what Steve was doing yet delulu about how he himself isn't that different! Idk, just to add a bit of humour! Also with how Ari kept saying Steve "physically assaulted" reader when really she got accidentally hit by a ball that Ari dodged lmfaoo *skull emoji* idk, i just LOVE writing Ari's character so i tried to add these moments in to make you guys infuriated at his double standards bUT IT DID NOT WORK FOR MAJORITY bahahaha but i'm happy you recognised it!

Also lmao yes, HOW DOES ARI HAVE THE AUDACITY TO BE HURT?! After everything he put reader through?? It's quite believable though, WG is like a case study of IRL fuckboys and their different facets. Fuckboy science should be taught in schools so that us girlies know what to look out for bahahah.

I love the point system you're giving to Steve and Ari as you read the fic! And yes, Steve's forwardness is SO attractive, I agree! I personally find that very attractive in a man and so I gave him that characteristic! It also juxtaposes a lot from Ari and how he hides their relationship and is never honest about how he feels!

Also, how you related reader's insecurity back to how Ari treated her is sooo smart! I didn't even think of that but honestly it's so true! She thinks Steve will prefer Sharon over her bc deep down she thinks Ari prefers Sharon over her :(((( Bc Sharon is the one who is his gf but reader thinks she isn't good enough!!! AHHHHHH i love this analysis you did hehe.

Also lmfao not you giving Steve points for giving her water bahahaha. That's another clue that maybe he really DID plan the date, right? Bc if he just wanted to sleep with her... he could've easily somehow gotten her drunk by persuading her to have a drink... IDK JUST FOOD FOR THOUGHT HEHEHEHE and yepppp, you pinpointed exactly where his mood changed...

LEMME KISS YOUR BRAIN FOR THIS REVIEW THO, A LOTTTT OF YOUR POINTS ARE SO SPOT ON!!!! and you understood it like you're in my brain, which means i did a good job writing it and weaving hints through the text without outright spelling things out WHICH MAKES ME HAPPYYY HEHEHEHE

[whiskeyswifty]

(diff diff anon) I wasn't really in the fandom during the Karlie era, so I feel like I have very little context to understand their dynamic. But I do think it's clicked for me more lately (your blog has helped lol). Like my own early 20s crash and burn friendships took so much time and therapy to process! I literally didn't know I COULD FEEL such a range of emotions until I experienced that. And if I were a songwriter, it would certainly be creatively inspiring and cathartic to write about

Omggg yes!! I’m glad my blog could help cuz clearly the context is lost to time for some people and so I’m happy to be the keeper of that. Crash and burn is absolutely what you could categorize it based off what we saw and have heard her allude to! Goddd those friendships are such an intense and beautiful thing that feels a lot like falling in love, and is in a way falling in a type love that’s stronger than romantic love, and they don’t even have to have a fucked up end to fuck you up. Making someone your whole world and half your personality and then one day they’re gone is gonna fuck anyone up! Not to mention the even more painful and confusing layers being a wlw can add to that experience, which is what me and many of my friends and mutuals respond to with Taylor and Karlie. That’s not to say either of them are anything gay or it was definitively anything like that, but it exhibited all the same symptoms of it regardless and reminds us of those experiences in a validating way. There’s a lot of lines that blur with female friendships that are intimate to begin with and being in your early 20s is so high stakes and visceral. Throw in meeting a girl who’s everything you want to be and makes you feel confident in who you already are and who feels like you’ve known her your whole life and of course you fall a little, or a lot, in love with her so it’s a MESS and so many more emotions are involved. And it only ends one way, crashing and burning and it’s so hard to parse because you don’t even know all the shit you felt cuz it all happened over the course of 6 months lmaooooo. Like GODDDDD yeah what a wellspring of inspiration, it’s true!!!

[simcardiac-arrested]

Unskippable cutscene part 2. Wether u wish to continue talking about godot or talk about someone/something new is up to you

asks tjat made me sick to my stomach with autism but ohh my god. oh my goddddd. throws these up

i am literally so obsessed with both of these dialogues i dont know what else to say. I know i talk about them every other day but it’s because they mean SOOO much to me. pebbles is quite literally on his deathbed, getting worse and worse as the cycles pass. everything is ruined—his plans, his future, his sibling. and there’s no fixing it. there’s no getting out. everything will only decay and rot further. and of course, at first, he’s angry. angry at himself, at moon, at the world. because he wants to fix it all so bad but he can’t. and as time passes, maybe he’s still mad, but most of all he’s just tired. everything is getting worse. so he gets invested in the mundane. he talks to the silly little slugcats that wander into his can, over and over, and each time without fail he helps them. he tries to help his sister in what little ways he can. who knows what else he does? maybe uses his overseers to observe the world and the life around him. maybe keeps logging every cycle onto his pearls. who knows? the specifics don’t really matter. it’s just that he has gone through so much and his whole life has been falling apart him for so long, and yet it’s the little things. he finds meaning in seemingly meaningless things, and he keeps going, even if he knows it’s all futile. if not for anything, then at least for the day to day matters.

and moon… an iterator who has never much been interested in art—paintings, music, poetry—it’s all foreign to her. she doesn’t understand the point of it all, doesn’t understand the point of weaving fifty different metaphors together or writing hymns or trying to find beauty in things. and she’s never cared much for the ancients. they were her parents, sure, her creators, but they’ve always been more of a nuisance to her. she’s never appreciated their traditions, like having long names, or their silly rituals…and yet it’s the festivals. it’s the sky-sails, beautiful like she has never known before. usually the emotions she feels towards the ancients and ancient-related things are indifference and such, but this time? she likes the festivals so much that she reminisces. she remembers, even after all she’s gone through, even after falling and dying and losing most of her memories, her functioning. she remembers, and she misses them. she misses them so much that she mentions them to the silly little slugcat, talking about how emotional they used to make her, even though usually she vaguely complains about the ancients to them. and things are not necessarily getting worse for her, but they also aren’t getting better. she’s as stuck as pebbles is. and yet she still remembers the beauty of the world, and she keeps going. if not for anything, then at least for the sky-sails.

[sadistpet]

(( ok, i saw you post a portrayal meme i think and i just wanted to drop in there for a quick minute and do a thing; I AM SORRY IF THIS MAKES LITTLE SENSE I AM SO SLEEPY

oh my lord, where did you come from? like, you appeared one day and the volgin inside me was like 'AY OOP U WOT' and dont get me wrong i need to get on volgin and let these men make love but shhh enough of that a minnie while i talk some waffle;

firstly, your writing is. MWAH. the goOD CUSH. the best cush even? i've seen you talk of your education and like, in my opinion, it goes beyond that. like, i read your writing and im just- i feel as though i should get a hot cup of cocoa and snug up as if i'm reading a book. you're articulate and your words are beautifully written. im no critic by any means (high school level BAYBEEEE) but i can tell you now that when i read your writing, i'm simply blown away by how incredible it is. you can see the passion in your words, the way you describe things, people, places, etc. it's like seeing someone paint a beautiful picture - but with words! (if that makes sense???)

as for your portrayal; THANK YOU SO MUCH. seriously, thank you for showing us raikov. thank you for giving him more than just 'the pretty boy comic relief lover of big scary man'. you've given him so much more, while staying canon, respecting canon and doing canon justice. i think if kojima saw the way that you write raikov, he would give it his blessing because you truly do such a magical job with the character. i always say to people who are passionate about their characters that i love that, i admire it. it excites me seeing writers clearly in love with what they're writing and i always get that vibe from you. and AND as one side character writer to another, straight up solidarity with you, my friend. keep doing a wonderful job (i know u will).

fINALLY cause i have WAFFLED MASSIVELY, you - are so wonderful. seriously, always supportive, always sweet, always kind. i want to pat your head and show u to everyone like that one will smith meme. you're fab and i am SO so glad that we're moot moots. thank you for being so fabulous, i'd tell you to keep being amazing but i know that you will. <3 ))

OH MY GODDDDDS HAN YOU ARE SO SWEET ( CRUSHES YOU AFFECTIONATELY LIKE WHEN RAIDEN DOES IT WITH A SPINE ) YOU ARE LITERALLY SO SWEET IM THROWING UP SCREAMING CRYING

to answer your question of where i came from i was in fact delivered to this world in a very small little basket with pink bows on it and an atomic bomb in my hands. and i found out about raikov because my beloved showed me mgs2 and he loves raiden ( me too ) and raikov is obviously linked on his page and something about him just made me keep coming back. maybe because i am also blonde haired blue eyed love eating whiny mean and annoying. but something about him i just needed to write. i love love love taking neglected characters and doing a 2000s makeover to make them into an actual Character and he was a perfect candidate !

and then i nailed down this url and i just HAD to make this blog ESPECIALLY WHEN I SAW THAT YOUR BLOG EXISTED. OH MY GOD. i was like no now i need to theres a fucking stellar writer here writing volgin. i need to throw raikov at them with all the strength of a baseball pitcher or whatever theyre called idk baseball terms BUT YOU GET THE PICTURE. part of the reason this blog exists is literally because of yours. SO YOU HAVE YOURSELF TO THANK

YOURE SO SWEET since i developed cfs/me in my mid-late teens ive felt my writing has kinda. gone downhill. so it makes me so happy to hear that people are still enjoying what i'm doing ;o; YOU ARE SO SWEET I AM SO GLAD I DIDNT LET THE AVPD WIN AND STOP ME FROM MAKING THIS BLOG CAUSE AUGH. AUGH. everyone intimidated me so much but youre all so so sweet and nice to me i fucking baheem sob sob THANK U SO MUCH. GRABS YOU

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Thurs 10 June ‘21

DREAMS DO COME TRUE and fanfics do come to life, how lucky are we? Seriously though, cooking show Louis AND footie Louis in one day, have we finally crossed out of the dark timeline and into some kind of blessed AU?! Louis is doing a COOKING SHOW (well, a little cooking video), and even better- it’s one of those things where he tries to recreate a recipe on his own for the camera! Full Time Meals is part of Marcus Rashford’s campaign to end child food insecurity in the UK. Celebrity chef Tom Kerridge makes easy meals from cheap ingredients for folks to follow along with, so Louis shouldn’t have too much trouble- good for him, though maybe not quite as entertaining for us, but this is one step closer to Celebrity Bake Off, keep dreaming big and crossing those fingers! Kerridge will post his recipe video on Sunday, and then Monday they’ll post Louis making the same thing. The preview pic is just long ass hair everywhere OMG. Put on a hairnet, hippie! NOT ONLY THAT I guess he is still at the studio, but hey that just means more video for us and not only that, today’s fan videos are of Louis kicking a football around- look at him GO!- with CHILDREN, goddddd. TOOO much, truly excellent.

My Policeman filming officially wrapped, and Harry took a fan pic in London (with a fan called… Harry!) Harry (Styles) is wearing his “louie” shirt (hey I didn’t name the thing okay it’s literally called that) and carrying his blue bandana in his back pocket (on the left, relevant if hanky code, probably not relevant if he was just carrying it for hay fever symptoms or whatever.)

Liam assured us that the Vegas entrepreneur dinner will be very fun and (in his underwear, hello) said that he loves his discord and he did a live chat about Lonely Bug and NFTs. He said, “lonely bug is my inner child,” there will be LB merch- “very limited toy drop might add clothes don’t know,” that the new song has “very very bright lyrics,” and said both that his knee is sore and that his knee is much better thanks, how very Liam.

And in a (these days rare for me) dip into fandom discourse, I see writer Kaitlyn Tiffany is back making the rounds of blogs for her book about the 1D fandom and how craaaazzzy larries are; BLOCK HER. Her tumblr url is kaittiffany (EDIT SJDKJFKS she has deleted since this morning OK THEN but she will be back again; I’m leaving this in for next time as we definitely haven’t seen the last of her, plus you know I went to all the trouble of writing it.) A book actually reporting on this complex and somewhat unique fandom objectively from a place of interest and curiosity would be fascinating and totally worthwhile… but sadly this REALLY ain’t it. She has made it clear she has no intention of actually writing about the intricacies of this fandom, only in finding material to bolster her already decided upon thesis about the ‘clinical paranoia’ and conspiracy theorizing of young women online. Her entire premise is based on her own preconceived bias, and she came here to find things to support her premise rather than coming up with it based on what she saw (not to mention it’s totally dated at this point, she really missed the cultural moment on that) and she has no interest in hearing what we have to say, only in pathologizing to support the sensationalist brief she probably got a publishing advance for and finding things to pull out of context to make her already decided on points. Anyway she wrote the intern- who had not blocked her to that account, oops- offering the ‘choice’ between one of our posts being quoted in her book with or without a name attached GEE THANKS SUCH GREAT OPTIONS; once she sees anything she wants to pull out of context, you can’t do anything about it (this is a public platform), so just block her so she doesn’t see it in the first place.

Hey but since we’re not getting an actual balanced book about the fandom maybe someone should write a companion book to hers analyzing the psychological phenomena of antis! Hey publishers, I can throw around buzz words too plus unlike her I know what I’m talking about as an actual member of this community, check it out: I propose an analysis in the aftermath of the Trump era of ‘othering’ in online spaces and how certain fandom groups operate as a socially acceptable entry level location of practice in demonizing a peer population which can act as a gateway to normalizing the othering of other cultures, races, etc. In this essay book I will address how fans experience peer validation and support to egg each other on in bullying other people because those people have been coded as Other and Wrong and because their community reinforces the idea that attacking other humans is Good Behavior and that normal constraints and ethics are suspended when people need to be Made to Understand the Righteous Truth and that any means justify that end, and how that carries over into non-fandom life and is dangerous as hell. Now THAT’S timely, DM for deets about where to send my advance!

[wistfulrat]

a 4-part rec list of my fave drarry fics - the thrillers, dramas, soft bois, and wankbanks getting me through 2020′s shitstorm

[the soft boi list is here and truly i’m not surprised this rec is going to be the longest bc if there’s one thing a bitch is going to do, it’s yearn.

as always! if you love a fic, follow the authors, leave kudos & comments, send them nice msgs bc free art is still labor xoxo]

part 3: soft bois

mood: for when I need respite, a balm to the all-consuming shittiness of life

includes: fluff, comfort, low-stakes, slow-burn fics. a wistful look, a rainy morning, an unexpected grace, a stupidly disarming joke. i could live inside these fics. the smallness of human lives removed from the site of that which hurts & irreparably changes. the story-equivalent of a deep breath after a long day. pregnant silences & pensive mundanity & shy smiles. banter with bite but without the cruelty. the color lavender. weirdly whimsical. soft fics are not necessarily conflict-averse (no drarry fic rly can be, considering the context) but, they offer the reader a generous distance from the initial harm. they’re the quiet cleaning up after a storm. sometimes healing is an exacting surgical knife and other times it’s a slow scabbing. you read these fics to be reassured that the way forward is not always ruthless. and honestly?? they deserve a semblance of peace godDAMmit.

The Way Down by @letteredlettered - 65k - T “and I thought that if someone talked to you as though you were a human being you might—maybe you could act like one” --the way i think about this line daily. the characterization of draco in this fic is one my favorites bc he’s earnest and neurotic and tired of harry’s shit. which is to say, he cares so so much. and harry doesn’t know what to do with that bc he’s got a monster in his chest and lives as a recluse. but they both humanize each other in ways no one else can. “you’re just a person” has to be some kind of drarry ethics of belonging and it makes me CRY. -

Little Deaths and How to Avoid Them by @greaseonmymouth and dustmouth - 96k - T “Maybe it’s not about deserving it? Maybe you just get to have it anyway. . .I’m allowing myself to want something and to let myself have it and to fight for it.” --harry runs a daycare and also works at a library. draco spends a lot of time in said library. they bond over sci-fi books and therapy anecdotes and quiet philosophical conversations held over cafeteria soup. and harry’s struggling to understand his asexuality. draco’s learning how to live with anxiety and depression. they both want to be deserving of love. incredible fic with beautiful art by dustmouth. - 

Open for Repairs by @drarrytrash - 35k - T “A few leaves rustle in the gutter and the muggle world pays no mind to them, to two lost boys holding on for dear life.” --all of their fics feel exactly like this. like you’ve been allowed to look at something private, tender, unexpected. draco, known abba fan, is a repairman in the muggle world & harry can’t stop breaking thrifted things in order to see him? say less, i'm thERE. also “I think I have a crush on you” goddddd  - other faves by them: Counting Down By Ten - 2k - T: draco’s stepped outside of the party for a smoke. harry follows him bc of course he does. i could read this 100 times and not get tired of it. - Clouds That Veil the Midnight Moon - 36k - E: FUCKING HILARIOUS I CACKLED THROUGH THE WHOLE THING. draco’s wolfy problem and harry helping him and harry being flustered by how much he likes draco and draco’s hot heroic moment. shutup it’s perfect. “He almost asks if Draco ever gets tired of being a miserable complaining shit all the time, but he knows that he, personally, never ever gets tired of being a miserable complaining shit.” and “It’s the traumas,” Harry says gravely” --lines that live rent free in my head -

Harry Potter and the Future He Doesn't Really Want, Thanks by seefin - 70k - E “That was the only logical thing to do here, wasn’t it? It was the next step, it was the end of hurting each other and the beginning of the exact opposite.” --harry lives with luna and neville and also he dreams about the future sometimes? and he keeps running into draco. draco thinks this is sus as hell, until he doesn’t. feat. taxi rides, museums, cinemas, rooftop conversations beneath a lunar eclipse, mid-sex innocuous banter, draco and harry discussing nicki minaj. this fic charmed my ass off. seefin writes the most effortlessly hilarious dialogues. i smiled at my phone like an idiot at least 7 times. -  other faves by them: Wild - 93k - E: “he liked feeling needed, for the things that he was needed for back at the house in Ireland. For cooking and gardening and driving. Easy things.” --this shit makes me cry it’s so good. harry lives in Ireland with these three brilliant, hilarious, wandless witches and draco’s a potions student who's come to study under one of the housemates and the boys have so much shit to work through but their love becomes so tender and honest. draco yells at harry a lot and harry lets him and they both keep each other grounded in something real and fuCK.  - Divination for Dickheads - 7k - G: “I’m terrible at having crushes. I’ve never played anything cool a day in my life.” -- oh harry, we knOW. a bus ride, a fortune teller, an aquarium birthday party. god i love this fic. -

Modern Love by @tackytigerfic​ - 61k - E “But we’ve worked so hard at this, haven’t we? Yeah, I know it’s a horror to have to talk about it, but fuck it. We’re friends now, but it took so long to get here. Have you ever had to work so hard at something before?" --the steady blossoming of their friendship in this fic is so goddamn beautiful i want to yell. it’s draco and harry learning to trust each other and the whole thing unfolds so slowly, in this whimsical mix of london streets, wizarding politics, church halls feat. a Hot vicar, and a magical antique shop owner who’s married to literal poseidon?? goD the environment of this fic. immaculate. [also there’s a tender shower scene that makes me cry every single fucking time so if you read this fic pls dm me so we can be embarrassing about it together tbh] -

Nice Things by aideomai - 22k - M “He kept waiting for the weird shock of touch to not knock him clean out of his head, leave him quiet and warm and happy.” --8th year. harry forms an unlikely friendship with draco that begins with smoking weed on a windowsill. harry is touch-starved and draco touches him like he touches all his close friends - like it’s easy. the quiet affection in this fic, the way harry burrows himself into touch bc he’s been without it for his entire life. reading this is like being held. -

Running On Air by @tinyhistory​ - 74k - T “do you remember when we were eleven?” --alexa play coldplay’s the scientist it’s sad girl hours and we’re about to fucking yearn. you’ve seen this fic rec on every drarry list under the sun and i'm here to be redundant. the hype is so goddamn real. this story is a lyrical masterpiece held together by lines that act as refrains that will rattle around your brain until you die, probably. draco’s been missing for 3yrs. harry goes to find him. it’s their odyssey of homecoming. -

Title of Their Sex Tape by @cibeewastaken - 12k - T “But Draco, Draco was everything but boring. Draco made sitting in the rain watching an empty house fun.” --auror partners pining and draco being eccentric and harry being very earnestly gay about draco’s eccentricities!! god this fic is so genuinely fun skskd feat. undercover missions, murderous faeries, a book heist, a stunning navy dress, harry’s eyelashes. -

How We Throw Our Shadows Down by @thistle-verse - 14k - T “Draco is about to say something else— to thank Potter for what he’d done, however poorly— but Harry is smiling at him again, and it’s so soft and perfect that Draco holds in any inadequate words, lest he spoil it.” --draco collects tea cozies and of course harry has the one he wants. the sad and tender gays are at it again feat. conversations in the rain at a train station, melancholy Blaise, muggle photos, wizarding e-bay, the Dursleys.  -

Helix by Saras_Girl - 92k - E “Draco sighs in his sleep and Harry clings on to consciousness, needing to hold on, to give this tiny, insignificant moment the attention it deserves” --I think maybe you can describe every soft Saras_Girl story as giving tiny, insignificant moments the attention they deserve. like, this is an 8th year fic about snails and it’s full of whimsy, grief, compassion, and easy humor. an absolute must-read author in this genre if you want languorous, episodic fics full of distinct OCs and affectionate creatures. - other faves by them: Light up the Night Sky - 98k - M “Draco, sometimes you make my head feel like soup” --the one where harry is a fireworks artist and has a pet chameleon named ken. draco is on the wizarding arts council. they both pine like hell. - Headlights in the Snow - 71k - M “they stare at each other in silence, Harry’s heart beating so loud in his chest that he thinks the biddies must be able to hear it over the sound of their card game.” --the one where draco drives the knight bus and carts around the biddy club, a group of rambunctious old ladies who knit and drink tea and gossip. harry can’t help but fall in love with the everything about this. -

Follow the Water by @xanthippe74 - 38k - T “Harry’s heavy thoughts lift at the sight, like dark clouds blown away from the sun by the wind. The tent doesn’t feel so cramped and stifling now. It feels cozy. And safe. It’s the same feeling that Harry gets when he’s at the Burrow for Sunday roasts, when a group of people who care for each other deeply are crammed into too-small a space.” --harry wanders to the lovegood house on a sunday afternoon. he’s baffled to see that luna’s taken pansy, greg, and draco under her wing. what follows is a summer of forest walks, scavenger hunts, gardening, water fights, odd cakes, faerie rings, and picnics. so many picnics. i love the pace of this fic, the innocent return to childhood things, the way luna brings out the best in all her friends. reluctantly soft slytherins are just *chefs kiss*!! -

Going Postal (A 125pg comic) by dustmouth - T what. a. beautiful. ass. comic. the wizarding fashion, the textures, the character design!! harry travels a lot for his job as a resourcer. draco works in the regulations dept. they pine like a bunch of lovesick idiots via field report notes. god i love dustmouth’s art. -

All the Earnest Young Men by @tepre​ - 29k - E “Draco is twenty-seven layers of personality wrapped up in drama and humour, and a wit so sharp it still stings when he doesn’t see it coming. But there is something below that, too. Something that makes Harry ache just looking at him.” --the way i would lay down my little life for tepre’s characterization of draco, whom invented the word earnest. he’s a magical art theory expert and portraits are disappearing all over London and harry’s the auror assigned to this case. and well. they’re both so very avoidant about how gay they are for each other and it’s like!! shutup and kiss!! which they do in fact, shutup and kiss.  -

Trenches by sara_holmes - 3k - M “Somewhere in the distant part of his mind that hasn't frozen solid, he thinks that maybe he and Draco are about to become more than auror partners, smoking buddies, wine-mates and co-inhabitants of a snow filled trench somewhere in western Scotland.” --the plot line here is literally “it’s cold and i need a fucking cigarette” but let me tell you how I never tire of the shared loaded-silences of two emotionally repressed gays. -

The Years Before Love by lomonaaeren - 13k - M “That’s one of the meanings of peace, he thinks, as Hermione hugs him...That he can do things slowly, softly, without worrying that they won’t be there tomorrow.” --andromeda taking harry under her wing and harry finding solace in teddy. narcissa and draco showing up and the tentative relationships that slowly develop in the quiet calm of andromeda’s house. found families and kisses in the snow and special xmas gifts ugh what’s not to love -

The Moon Looks Lovely Tonight by Omi_Ohmy - 35k - M “I want this to be a house where people are welcome, where they don’t have to be any one way or another” --in which harry collects lost things--owls, best friends, inept bakers, potions experimenters--and turns the mausoleum that is grimmauld place into a home. feat. your fave drarry tropes like shared-beds and reluctant waltzing partners. -

[part 1: thrillers | part 2: dramas | part 3: soft bois | part 4: wankbanks]