#LISTEN i like the snow but don't make me physically DO things

[bedoballoons]

can We get a very physically hurt/half dying reader x the healers? And by bbg’s wanderer and albedo? Like when we get so hurt that we almost die?🩸💀☠️🩸☠️💀🩸☠️💀🩸☠️💀🩸☠️💀

Absolutely!! I'm not particularly sure which healers you meant though so I hope this is okay and I know Tighnari technically isn't a healer but he's a canon doctor so I figured he could also be in this! If there's characters you wanted to see that weren't in this don't be afraid to ask for them! Also so sorry this took so long!

─⊰⁠⊹ฺ✿𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⁠⊹ฺ✿─

{༻~Readers injured~༺}

CW: Some gore because of injury description, it's my first time writing Kokomi so I'm sorry if it's not the best!, angst and fluff <3

(Includes: Albedo, Baizhu, Tighnari, Wanderer, and Kokomi!)

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𑁍༄Albedo:

"Just stay awake."

Albedos words rang in your ears as he wrapped his arms around you tightly, carrying you through the thick white snow to the nearest heat source in hopes of saving you. Your body was already limp against him because of the cold and it made his heart pound in his chest, he was scared...terrified and right now the only thing keeping you alive, your life was in his hands...and he knew it.

He kept telling you it was going to be alright, promising you nothing bad would happen, but it didn't matter...after all you could barely hear him over the loud screams of the wind, each one smacking you both with whips of freezing cold air, some of them harsh enough to make him stumble backwards. You were starting to loose hope, tears staining your cheeks and stinging as they froze against your skin, were you really going to be alright?

Suddenly Albedo fell forward onto his knees, setting you on the ground and pushing you into what appeared to be a cave, just big enough for the both of you. He didn't waste a moment, crawling in after you once he had removed his coat and covering you with it like it was a blanket, his hands busying themself with the start of a fire. The second the flames appeared he pulled you into his lap, forcing you to heat up...and doing everything in his power to save you, the love of his life.

𑁍༄Baizhu:

"I'm with you now, don't worry dearest...it's all going to be alright."

Baizhu held your hand tightly, his fingers intertwined with yours while Changsheng used her gifts to perform the ritual...draining his life force right from his body...so you could live to see the next day. If you had been able to stop him...to keep him from shortening his life to lengthen yours, you would have...but you were so weak from your injuries...you could barely keep your eyes open. If he didn't do this...you would have died.

"Changsheng..." He simply said the serpents name, but even in your dazed state you could tell he wanted details...he wanted confirmation you'd be okay and he wouldn't rest till he knew, even as he was rattled with coughs...he had to know if you were going to make it. "Baizhu...they will be alright, your life force wasssss enough. Rest with them now...you both need it."

Baizhu nodded, crawling carefully into the bed with you so you could rest together...his ears tuned in to your breathing, listening for any signs of trouble and kissing your head while you drifted off to sleep.

𑁍༄Tighnari:

"Don't die on me now...you're far to important for me to loose."

You could taste blood on your lips, metallic and coppery...dripping down your chin in bright red streaks, all the while you clutched your stomach, hunched over in the most excruciating pain you'd ever felt in your entire life. Your body was riddled with bruises and cuts, your insides screaming at you for medical attention as you frantically scanned the area around you for the one person that you knew could save you, "Tighnari! H-help!"

Suddenly big blue ears twitched in your direction, his movements quick and calculated as he hurried to you, taking down anything that got in his way while you fell to your knees. He could tell this was serious and he didn't wast a single second, as soon as he was close enough you were getting bandaged, his senses on high alert just in case a enemy got to close. "You know when I said, give them a beating, I didn't mean to include yourself."

You couldn't stop yourself from chuckling, which hurt...but his sarcasm...it also made you feel better

𑁍༄Wanderer:

"You'll be okay, you have to...y-you can't leave me."

Wanderer couldn't even think correctly, his arms holding you so carefully...like your body was made of the most fragile of material in the world...all the while your crimson red blood dripped down his clothes. His emotions going hay wire and leaving him on a roller coaster, fear like he'd never felt before, anger burning in him like a raging fire and most of all..the lack of understanding.

If someone had went after him...that he would have understood...he would have defended himself, he would have fought against them and he most likely would have won, but who...who the hell would attack you.. and why? Why couldn't he have been there to keep you safe? "Please...I...I love you and I know I don't say it enough because of my stupid pride but I love you and you're not allowed to die on me because some stupid jerk attack you." He hugged you tighter as he spoke before bursting through the doors of Tighnaris house and quickly laying you down on the bed, his hand intertwined with yours even when everyone told him to leave.

He wouldn't let you wake up alone...no matter what he'd be there.

𑁍༄Kokomi:

"Just...breath."

Kokomis hands rested softly on your chest...a faint blue light seeping from the cracks of her fingers while she used her vision to heal your wounds and you tried desperately to keep breathing like she'd instructed you to...,but despite her incredible powers, you were in so much pain...each breath threatened to be your last one.

"It's going to be okay...I'll have you patched up in no time, just concentrate on me...I'll save you, I promise." She leaned in close, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead, her sweet calming aura making you feel warm as you struggled to keep your eyes open. That warmth spread all across your body, as if she had hugged you with all the love she could give and just when you'd thought you were going to take your last breath, that love made all the pain fade away.

Your injuries healing till they were nothing more than scratches and your fear replaced with happiness...gratitude. The two of you shared a sweet kiss before she had to hurry away to help someone else.

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ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚Have a nice day*⁠.⁠✧

[goldenshrikecomic]

FAQ

Please read these before sending asks! It's also good to check the tags listed on the pinned post to see if it's already answered. Where can I read GS? On Comicfury or DeviantArt. Two pages ahead on both Patreon and Ko-fi.

Who works on this comic? Only me, ratt/doeprince. You can call me either, I usually refer to myself as doeprince when it's more official, otherwise ratt or some secret third thing. I'm an amateur artist and I draw these comics for fun without much ambition to gain greatness. I want to make enough money to be able to keep working on more comics, and buy trinkets.

How can I support what you do? Why thank you for asking! All my income comes from making comics, so the support on either Patreon or Ko-fi is literally making my comic endeavours possible.

Do you have other projects? I work on some secondary comics. Jet and Harley and Honey are currently updating, Corpse is finished. You can find my other art on doe-prince.

How long will Golden Shrike be? I don't know how many pages. I hope it's less than 1000.

What programs do you use? SAI for lineart, CSP for coloring and bubbles, PS for text and backgrounds. Hoooow do you draw the antlers from different perspectives? I've made 3D models for each recurring antlered character.

Is GS going to have physical merch? Will it be printed? Consider this a no, but I won't say never.

Does GS have a map, official wiki or dub or something like that? No. There's a fan wiki out there full of inaccurate information so take everything in there with tons of grains of salt. There's no map. The dub on YT is separate from me, I've had no hand in it.

Can I make a fan character? Can they interact with yours? You can absolutely make a fan character! I just ask you not to make them interact with mine, at least not in any kind of heavy way. It's a slippery slope and I've seen people treat my characters very rudely to make them suit their needs.

Can I make fanart/writing? Yes! All sfw and well-meaning works are welcome. Just tag me so I can see them! Why are the borders black and sometimes white? White borders means it's a flashback.

Deer don't do that!!!!! Or birds!! Or plants! The moon shouldn't be that shape right now. Everything in GS is fictional for this very reason. I shall not be shackled by the chains of realism when there's entire new worlds in my fingertips. I aim to make things believeable in its context, not realistic. Are other animals sentient, can they talk? Sure they are and can, but not outside their own species. A frog can't hold a conversation with a deer, but a deer and antelope could possibly make it work. There's exceptions though.

How old are main characters? They're fawns right? No they are not, they'd all be in their early 20s if they were humans.

What does sire mean? It keeps popping up in different contexts. You can liken this term to 'father', as in your dad but also something like a priest. The priest isn't your dad but "father forgive me for I've sinned". So sire is a) respected stag, b) very formal way to address your father. Dame is the female counterpart. Why are the does so small compared to stags.... are you a freak... do you just hate women..... Listen when I started GS I had been dwelling in a place where monster deer characters had insane size differences and it became some kind of norm to me and of course it found its way into my comic. Now I just have to keep drawing those tiny women to keep up the consistency. I've created bigger ladies nowadays because I too think it's a little silly now.

Please please will this character ever get a mate? Will this pairing be canon? Will you please make this pairing canon? I won't spoil any pairings, I think it'd be the most boring thing to do to my own work! I'll only confirm the ones already established in the comic.

Is this a speck of ember? Is it snow? What is that floating thing, is it relevant to the plot? IT'S JUST MY DUST BRUSH LEAVE ME ALONE.

[baronessvonglitter]

if love be rough with you, be rough with love | chapter 16 | "all i want for christmas is you"

Dave York x f!Reader

Word count: 5,473

Summary: Years later, you run into Dave on Christmas Eve.

(Spoilers are in the Warnings under the cut so please peek responsibly)

WARNINGS: 18+ Only! Mature and Explicit, Time Skip, TW for physical altercation (pushing, choking, pinning down), alcohol consumption, talk of weapons, hinting at reader being killed, mention of chemical paralytics (NMBA's), surprise pregnancy (happened after Chapter 15) and revelation of paternity, mention of wetwork, reader has C-section scar, wears a dress and nail polish, masturbation, pussy pronouns, p in v sex, quickest enemies to lovers ever, and one Christmas Eve marriage proposal (if I've forgotten anything please do let me know)

Author's note: I defrosted Mariah Carey earlier than anyone would like her to be, and yes I was listening to this song as I wrote. I don't care. It's one of my favorite Christmas songs ever and nobody can convince me otherwise 😜

Series Masterlist

dividers by @saradika-graphics 👑

Six Years Later

You step out of your car into the cold St. Louis night. It's Christmas Eve, and the streets are lined with snow. Brightly lit storefronts boast presents of all kinds, the electric glow of the holiday season luring in last minute customers. You keep your hands in your coat pocket as you walk, eyes scanning the perimeter.

Pour Decisions, the bar you've owned for the past couple years, is filled with its usual patrons, the atmosphere friendly and charged with holiday cheer. Checking to see that the staff is doing well and everything is in order, you ask for an old-fashioned, enjoying the warmth that spreads through you as you sip the whiskey cocktail, sitting at an inconspicuous table in the back and looking around at the one thing you can really call your own, the only place that doesn't hold bad memories.

That's when you see him enter your establishment. The man who claimed to have loved you with all his heart. The man whose life you destroyed. The man without whom you wouldn't be where you are right now.

Walking to the bar and sitting by himself, drinking to take away the pain, is Dave York.

It feels like all your breath leaves your body yet you give an audible gasp. He doesn't see you, doesn't even appear to be looking for you.

In your darkest nightmares he returns for you and kills you. You carry that fear with you. You've been preparing for it since the day your plane left for London years ago.

Emergency exit to my right you think to yourself, a habit you've formed in the six years since ruining his life. Glock, switchblade, syringe, you do a mental checklist of what you have on you.

You don't know whether to stay or leave. You're rooted to the spot, keeping an eye on him, poised to take whatever action necessary.

The jukebox finishes "Baby, It's Cold Outside" and moves onto "All I Want for Christmas is You" by Mariah Carey. You cringe at the sudden mood dissonance. This song would've expressed your feelings for him, once upon a very long time ago, but now it's almost comical. You want each other in a different way now: gone, even if it means dead.

Dave sighs and takes another sip of his drink, clearly lost in his own thoughts. He looks at the other people around him, some smiling and drinking to make the pain of Christmas a little more bearable, others in town for friends or family, eagerness evident on their faces.

He'd give anything just to be in their place right now. To be happy. To be able to smile like he used to smile. And it was all taken away from him by you.

Suddenly he hears someone calling out your name over the music.

In fact, he's been waiting for it. His head jerks up to see where you are, but he can't find you. His eyes scan the bar from face to face.. until finally he sees you. You're sunk low in your chair but he knows you immediately. He knows those eyes that have haunted him for years.

You're nodding and talking to your friend, and the moment you nervously glance around you meet Dave's gaze. It feels like pinpricks all over your body.

For one moment the world stops. All of the moments of his time with you come rushing back as he looks at you. All of the joy he felt with you, all of the pain you caused him. For a moment he allows himself the memory of your pliant body beneath his, your soft, slender throat beneath his grip, thumbs pressing just hard enough on your windpipe to make you cum.

What a waste, he thinks, keeping his cold gaze on you.

You talk to your friend a little longer then finish your drink, order another, and down it.

Now you have liquid courage to face him.

You approach him but it feels like you're moving underwater, your limbs fighting the current.

And there he is. There you are. After six years apart. He hasn't changed much in all this time. He's still handsome. A few gray hairs here and there, and a slight scruff of facial hair when he'd always stayed clean shaven. Still wearing a suit like he's just left the office, the subtle scent of his cologne wafts to you. It suits him. But you force the thought away. You take stock of your own looks: burgundy sweater dress, black boots, hair styled differently from how you used to, perhaps in the hopes that disguising yourself would throw him off your scent, confuse him and leaving him chasing his tail.

"Fifty thousand dollars," you tell him. "I'll give you fifty thousand dollars to leave."

He says nothing, just staring at you as he hears the offer.

Fifty thousand. That's all it would cost for him to let you go. Fifty thousand dollars to spare your life.

But..

..is that what he wants, really?

"No," he says firmly. "You can't make it up to me with fifty thousand dollars."

Your heart sinks to your stomach. "Then name your price. Whatever it is I'll pay it."

Dave takes a long sip of his drink as he considers your offer. For a moment he's tempted to accept it, to end this nightmare once and for all. But..

..no. It's not a question of money.

"The price is a hell of a lot higher than that," he says with cold finality. "You destroyed my family and you left me without my soul."

In your time on your own you've learned to be assertive. You're no longer the shy, simpering girl he used to know. "You did that to yourself, Dave. I only held up a mirror to show what you really are. Besides," you give him a devious smile, your words dripping with venom, "we both know you have no soul."

"Maybe I don't," he meets your gaze with unwavering ire. "But neither do you.. you destroyed everything good and beautiful that we had."

He takes another long sip, savoring the taste and savoring this moment where he's dissecting you. "You can try to blame me. You can try to make yourself the victim of this story. But you're not the victim. You're the monster. You're the one who brought darkness into my life when I didn't deserve it. When I gave you nothing but my love and my faith.. you used them to destroy everything I held dear."

"I disagree." You hop onto the barstool next to him, unafraid of him. "The real victims are my father, who you killed, and your wife and kids, who you betrayed. We both lost our families, Dave. I evened the score."

His eyes bore a hole into your soul as you speak. "That's the thing you can't seem to understand, sweetpea. Life isn't a zero-sum game. One person's loss is not another person's gain. You didn't 'even the score' by getting your revenge."

His voice turns cold and harsh as he speaks the truth. "You made a choice to try to destroy me. That's something I can never understand. And you'll never be forgiven for."

"I'm not interested in your forgiveness, David," you correct him. "You're the one in my city, in my bar, looking for me. With you, there's always an ulterior motive. Out with it."

And then he smiles at you. It's a cold, hard smile. "I came here to see you. So we can end this."

You stare into his eyes and wear a sardonic smile. "You mean, so you can end me."

"Yes," he answers simply.

You consider getting another drink, but two old-fashioneds on an empty stomach has you feeling good already. Maybe that's why you're not afraid.

"My late husband owned this bar, and now it's mine," you say, looking around with pride and wistfulness. "I met him here, years ago."

"Husband," he repeats in a dull tone. "Did you ruin his life too?" he asks.

"Well, he is dead," is your deadpan reply and you hate that your heart misses a beat when Dave smirks in reply. "It would be bad for business if you were to kill me in my own establishment, at peak holiday season," you remind him, proud of your practical tone of voice.

"You may be right about that," Dave admits. "The customers would scramble out of their seats, trample each other to get to the exits. In this day and age you know I'll be caught on camera. And that's not good for my.. 'business'.. either. But," he adds with a grin, "that doesn't mean you're safe."

"I've been looking over my shoulder ever since I came back to the states. I was surprised you didn't follow me to London. In the meantime I've just been waiting for the day when you would come and exact your revenge."

"That's exactly what I've come to do," he says coldly. "I made a promise a long time ago that I would never forgive you."

He takes a long drink and looks at you as if he's seeing you for the first time. "And now, the time has come."

You can see it in his eyes. You can see the darkness that now resides there, different from the one that used to excite you. It's Dave, but it's not the Dave you used to know.

A chill goes through you. You nod, knowing this day is long overdue. If your father faced death at the hands of Dave York, so can you.

You put down your glass, the whiskey still on your lips. "I'm glad it's you. Poetic that way." You stand up from your seat, surprised that your knees don't buckle automatically. "Outside," you tell him.

In the darkness of the alley behind the bar, your coat offers no protection from the cold you feel in your heart. The back street is empty. You look up at the stars in the night sky, feeling small in their midst.

This is it.. the end of it all.

He looks at you and sees the same calmness that he saw in your father. He sees that you've accepted your fate without fear, and he can't help but admire that.

"You know.. I thought about it a lot as I came here," he says. "What I wanted to do to you when I found you.. and what I wanted you to feel in your last moments."

You languidly turn to him, as if in a dream. "So tell me."

"I wanted to make you suffer. I wanted to see you beg for mercy, to see you plead for your life." His smile is cold and cruel. "But you're not scared, are you, sweetpea? Either you're as tough as I believe, or your self-preservation instincts are for shit," he sneers. "Even now, you're calm.."

Your placid countenance belies your shivering heart as you stand against the wall, deep breath in, deep breath out. "How are you going to do it?"

"You really want to know? You trust me that much?"

"You're the best, right? I'm glad it's you." You smile a little, shaking your head. "I loved you from the first time I saw you, Dave. I've loved you all this time. I love you right now."

He almost laughs. It's comical to hear you talk about love at a moment like this. "And I've hated you for all these years. I hate you for what you did to my family. I hate you with every fiber of my being.."

His voice turns to a whisper. "And I hate you because I still love you."

A brief smile flickers in your eyes. "As you once told me.. 'If this is love, we're both fucked.'"

Dave seems reluctant now, as if he's had a change of heart. You love each other, despite everything, and even now you're willing to let him just take your life, snuff it out with a single blow.

"Don't disappoint me, York," your voice pierces his thoughts like an icy blast. "Don't tell me you've come all this way for nothing. Not when I've been getting ready for you."

In an instant he pins you to the wall, his weight pressing you into the bricks as his hands wrap around your throat. Your breath comes in labored gasps as you fight to free your arms and legs. Despite your efforts, Dave is physically stronger. He's methodical, using his strength to subdue you rather than overpowering you with brute force. You can feel the desperation rising, your struggle becoming more frantic as you wrack your brain for any possible means of escape.

In a moment of clarity amidst the chaos, you find a small sharp object in your purse - the syringe. With a burst of adrenaline you jab it into the soft area right below his ribs, keeping your thumb off the plunger.

He lets out a sharp grunt and loosens his grip, staring dumbfounded at the needle sticking out of him, your finger hovering over the end, ready to press the danger into his bloodstream. "Let me guess," he says, his breath warm against your face. "Propofol? Rocuronium bromide?"

"Air," you answer with a winning smile, your voice hoarse from his choking you.

He swallows thickly, face pale even in the wintry moonlight.

You've never felt a surge of power like the one shooting through your veins right now. "I'd say my instinct for self-preservation is pretty fucking good."

Right as you see that angry spark in his eye you take advantage of the temporary adrenaline rush and push him away from you. Dave stumbles back, pulling the syringe from his torso and tossing it away right before you crash into him again. You both topple onto the cold wet pavement, grappling with one another, and it doesn't escape your realization that it's all an inverted display of the way you couldn't keep your hands off each other years ago.

You're unaware that the contents of your purse have fallen out in the scuffle, until Dave pins you down and notices the knife, the gun, neither of which you bothered to use on him just moments before. Then the bright light of your phone screen illuminates its presence in the shadowy alleyway.

Your wallpaper is a picture of you, holding a small boy who's smiling as you're kissing his cheek.

Still beneath him, your stomach lurches and you scramble for phone. "Give that back!" But Dave doesn't listen.

"You have a child?" he asks, completely bewildered that he hadn't thought of you having a life apart from the history you have with him. You'd mentioned a husband, but not a child.

The photo is lovely, taken recently as he guesses from the similar hairstyle as you have now. He's a beautiful child, with his mother's eyes. The love between mother and son is palpable, something pure and sweet that he has only experienced with his own children. It takes the wind out of him. He looks at you and all of the anger, all of the hate and rage he felt towards you seems to dissolve like salt in water.

Your heart is near palpitating as you take the phone from him, gently wiping the falling snow from the screen, taking a tiny moment to admire the photo for yourself. "The last night we spent together in that little motel room.. before everything happened.. a couple months later I found out I was pregnant."

It takes every ounce of courage you have to confess this to him: "This is Benjamin.. your son.."

Dave is paralyzed by your revelation, utterly unable to move or even breathe as he stares at the photo, puts the pieces together. He sees his features in his son, the perfect combination of you and him in another being, a little boy who is the culmination of your love.

He sees you as he never saw you before. You're not the woman who betrayed him and destroyed his family. You're the woman who gave him a son, a part of himself that he never knew would exist.

"He's beautiful," he murmurs, drinking in this moment, helping you to your feet as you struggle to stand, asking if you're all right but you don't answer him.

You've never envisioned how this would go. Not even your late husband knew Ben's real paternity, just that you needed stability to raise him. A part of you is on edge. You've just revealed the person who means the most to you in this world, and in one moment Dave could take it away.

"He just turned five in September," you tell him, "That night.. that terrible and wonderful night before I left you.. something good came from all of it," you tell him.

He nods. "I guess it did." He looks at the picture once more. "Where is he?"

You take a moment before answering. "He's at home. A friend of mine is watching him."

"I want to see him."

"You already have kids, Dave. Or have you forgotten them?"

"Don't go," he pleads as you start to walk away. Around the corner you can hear the holiday music blaring from the bar. "Last Christmas" by Wham!

"I want to see him," he says, catching up with you. "Please."

Being a mom has made you soft. And the truth is you spent the majority of your energy in your short scuffle with him moments ago. "Follow me home."

"Leave whatever weapons you have in the mailbox."

You wait on him, arms crossed, ensuring your safety before you let him beyond your threshold. Dave puts his semi-automatic pistol and a knife. He had these on him all the time but didn't use them..

"Now you," he says, watching as you put your own gun and knife into the mailbox. One corner of your mouth lifts up into a half-smile as your eyes meet, realizing you've both thought alike.

Inside your home it's cozy. A brightly lit Christmas tree glows with warm golden light in front of the main window in the living room. Dave looks around, taking it all in: the decorations placed with love and care, the presents piled under the tree for Ben - his son - to open the next morning.

A woman, clad in a soft gray sweater and jeans, comes out from the hallway, carrying little Ben in her arms. "He couldn't sleep without you here," she tells you, her glance jumping quickly between you and Dave.

You take him from her, letting her know you're home for the night and giving a quick introduction to Dave. "This is Paige, she helps me with Ben from time to time."

They exchange hellos, a little awkward under the circumstances. You take Ben in your arms, and he immediately wraps his arms around you. You wish Paige a happy Christmas and she leaves.

Now it's just the three of you. "Can I hold him?" Dave asks.

You hesitate before nodding, asking Ben if he's okay to go with him. Watching him with his father you can see the resemblance, plain as day. "Is he what you looked like as a kid?" You ask curiously.

"I think so," he smiles, still amazed that he's holding his child, a piece of him that he left behind with you for so long, your love made real.

Ben is bathed and put to bed. Dave knows everything about him by now: his birthday, favorite foods, his friends in his kindergarten class, the names of his stuffed animals and favorite superheroes. All this Dave takes in with the same interest he had when his daughters were younger.

He even reads him a bedtime story while you watch from the doorway, watching a scene you never imagined would come to life. Ben has Dave's smile, his hair. It's uncanny. You remember when you first started working for the Yorks, the first night you walked in on him reading to the girls before bed. That was the moment you fell in love with him.

It might be happening all over again.

After he's asleep you sit in the living room, sipping coffee spiked with brandy.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" he asks.

You sip your drink, letting it warm the chill that's going through you, hoping it'll dull the overpowering emotions coursing in your veins. "I was afraid you'd come after me, kill me, and take him away."

"Is that what you think of me? That I'd kill you for our son?" For a moment he actually looks hurt.

"I don't know what to think of you."

"I deserve to be in his life," he says stubbornly, and you get a peek of the old Dave from before. "We can put the past behind us. We can get reacquainted. We can be what we should have been all along. He belongs to both of us. And I want to be here for him." He pauses, seeing the photos on the table and walls: you and Ben throughout his young life: on a beach somewhere with pure white sand, at a zoo posing in front of the zebras, and in every picture it's obvious he's loved.

"You did a good job with him, sweetpea. Our son is happy."

"He was my reason for going on," you tell him. "I was still in London when I found out I was pregnant. At first I thought it was the worst possible thing that could happen, but when I really sat down to make a decision I realized there was no other option but to keep him and love him. I knew a miracle could be reaped from the awfulness we sowed."

You raised him alone, mostly, with some help from your mother, who of course asked who Ben's father was. There was absolutely no way you could tell her, so you simply said it was a boyfriend who'd wanted nothing to do with the baby. After getting your Master's you found yourself here in St. Louis, met Liam who cared for you and your child, and lost him to sudden illness only a year after you married him. And every day you did not stop thinking about Dave.

"I assume you're still involved in your.. activities?" you ask him.

He takes a deep breath, mentally going over the jobs he'd done in the past six years, of which he'd taken more than before you'd left. Not only had he needed the money, but he needed something else to keep from thinking about you.

"Yes, I am," he replies. "I know you were hoping for a different answer than that."

"I was hoping for a different answer, but I wasn't expecting one," you tell him. "And the situation with Carol and the girls.. did she leave you? Did you work things out?" You hate that this is the answer you dread the most.

"We're divorced now," he says curtly. "And the girls.." an actual smile melts away his bitterness. "The girls are great. They're teenagers now. We've worked out a custody arrangement and we're keeping things civil for their sake. They adapted better than I thought they would."

"Do they all hate me for what I did? For my part in the affair?"

He pauses. "It's complicated.. the girls know why you left. I haven't given them any details and I doubt Carol has told them anything they shouldn't know. But you shouldn't blame yourself. It takes two to tango. I'm just as guilty."

You've finished your coffee, and just as you start to rise from your chair you pause, giving him a smirk. "Dave.. calling yourself 'guilty' after everything you've done is probably the funniest thing I've ever heard."

He takes your hand as you try to walk past him. "What would you say if I said we should be together for Benjamin's sake?"

You should have seen this coming, should have known he'd attempt to ingratiate himself into your good graces to keep some control over your life. "I've already done that. I married my late husband so that Benjamin could have a father.. I'm not going to go into any more relationships under false pretenses."

There's something more he wants to say, something that he wants to get across to you. "A lot of my life is gone. Lost. Because of what you did."

"I know. And I can say the same about you. We took each other's lives away."

"But you," Dave continues, "you gave me this. All of the happiness you took away, you gave it back to me in a way I never would have dreamed." He takes your hand in his. "And what if this isn't false pretenses? What if I'm asking because I know.. because we know, you and I are meant for each other?"

He knows he's getting ahead of himself. He's letting his emotions and his desire take over.

But you shake your head. "You only want me because I'm the one left standing in the ashes."

"You're partly right," he agrees. "I want you because you're right in front of me now. That's just natural, I'd say. But I always wanted you, sweetpea," he says with total honesty. "You were always the woman I loved."

"Fucked up people always love other fucked up people," you remind him. "And you and I are the most fucked up people I know,. Weren't we just about to kill each other in an alley?"

"Maybe you would have killed me.. but you didn't. And I could have killed you.."

"I get it, I get it," you playfully roll your eyes. "Am I your first failed mission?"

"Yeah, but.. definitely worth it."

He manages to get a smile out of you, and as he pulls you close he rejoices that you don't pull away. When he brings his lips to yours for a kiss, you don't stop him. You come together as fluidly as if you'd never been apart all this time, and you kiss him back hungrily, having missed his taste.

In the bedroom your appetite only grows stronger as you unbutton Dave's shirt, running your hands over the warmth of his chest. He lifts your dress over your head and you continue to unwrap each other. Your eyes take in every inch of his frame, seeing that he hasn't changed much in six years. His side job keeps him fit and he's kept his little belly that you've always found so attractive.

He reaches for you, takes your curves under his touch and gently kneading your soft flesh. "I missed you so much.." he whispers as you gasp with pleasure. "Missed what's mine." As his hands trace your skin he discovers the small scar on your lower abdomen, nearly hidden by the softness of your own little belly.

"What's this?" he asks, noticing that his touch doesn't seem to register there.

"It was Ben," you explain. "I had to have an emergency C-section."

His fingers trace over the scar, imagining the pain you must have gone through, the fear you must have felt. "I should have been there with you."

"I'm not made of glass, Dave." Breaking from him you lay back on the bed, legs parted as you begin to touch yourself, lifting your eyes to meet his dark gaze as your fingers continue their pleasured work across your delicate folds.

"Open wider," he says in a low command, crawling over you on the bed, watching intently. "Make yourself come."

He follows each dip and swirl of your fingers, the tips painted in red glitter lacquer, as they brush across your clit, disappearing into your already drenched cunt.

"How does that feel, sweetpea?" he asks, his voice husky with lust.

"Good," you moan. "But not nearly as good as you." You reach for him, and though he wants desperately to dive into your sopping wet hole, he practices control.

"Not yet," he says gently, chiding you. "I said, make yourself come."

He watches as you add pressure to your clit, your pussy swallowing up your middle and ring fingers while your other hand palms your breast, twists and pulls your nipple. He's never seen you more gorgeous, chasing your pleasure. The scent of your sex is in the air, beckoning him, and it takes every shred of his self-discipline to keep where he is, cock in his hand, lazily stroking as his dark eyes dance with the vision of you spread out before him, coming at last.

He takes his time about getting inside you, and though you're slippery enough to handle him it's still a tight fit after years apart. He's careful until you ask him not to be, and then he fucks you with smooth, steady thrusts, bottoming out as you arch your back, crying out his name, the sound of your flesh slapping together a perfect symphony with your moaning and his praise in your ear my good girl, missed this pussy so much, needed her all this time, and she needed me, gonna tame her, make her mine all over again.

He moves with you, as if he's connected to every beat of your heart. This is the only thing in the world that feels right, no matter how wrong it is. You can't not love him, You've never felt more like yourself, realizing that he brings it out of you. The air between you becomes electric, frantic, your movements desperate and wild.

"Come for me, sweetpea," he whispers, taking your bottom lip between his teeth. "Let me feel this tight little hole get her fill of me."

It's a fucking relief when you finally come, the moment prolonged as he continues to move, stimulating your clit beyond your point, only letting up when you forcefully shove his hand away. Watching you come is a miracle made true, something he never thought he'd get to experience again, and he comes with the final clench around him, keeping him there, keeping him home.

You're both vulnerable, perhaps for the first time, with each other. There are no more secrets to be had, no more devastation to wreak. Just you and him, and an ocean of possibilities before you.

"Can you forgive me?" he asks, meeting your eyes. "For what I did?"

It's weighed heavy on your mind since the day you learned the truth, and you've come to realize that all the tragedy did was allow you to move on, even if it brought you to have to face your past more clearly.

"Yes," you answer. "I do forgive you. And now you have to forgive me."

It's easier to do that now, now that the walls you both built up have been knocked down. "I forgive you," he echoes. "We'll never bring it up again."

There's a clarity you never imagined you'd receive, a gift that's long overdue after the years of being in limbo. You snuggle to him, pressing a kiss his throat.

"I thought about you every day, sweetpea," he whispers. "And maybe I'm crazy, but.. marry me."

You're at a loss for words. You open your mouth to speak but nothing comes out. "What.. what did you say?" you ask slowly, usure if you even heard him right. "Did you ask me to marry you?"

"I did," he says assertively. "So? Will you marry me?" A little smirk crosses his lips and there's a light in his eyes that you've never seen before.

"I'm just so.. stunned," you sit up against the headboard and he does the same. "Why would you even want to marry me? Don't you remember everything that happened?"

"I remember everything. I remember it every day. But like you said, 'fucked up people always love other fucked up people' and look at us: still crazy about each other even after we've ruined each other's lives. There's nothing for us except to be together."

"You sound so certain," you look at him with a conflicted smile. "Are you really sure this is what you want? To wake up every day and remember what happened and who we are?"

His smile lights up his whole face. "I'm counting on us to remember who and what we are. If we forget everything that happened between us then we've learned nothing. But now we're standing in the ashes of our old lives and look at us: we won. If anything, that just proves we're supposed to be together. We know all the bad parts of each other and we still choose to be here."

Watching him, and listening, you become convinced. You can't ignore the truth of what he's saying. "I'm gonna marry you, Dave," you tell him, your voice full of love and joy.

<- prev chapter

next chapter ->

taglist: @untamedheart81 @guelyury @auteurdelabre @darkheartgatita

[thecreativecorner33]

By Your Side

A/N: Well I bet y'all didn't expect this. Remember me? I'm the girl who wrote "Taste of Heaven," and AM x reader, on her main account. This is a sequel to that!!! Though you don't have to read the other one to understand this one. I was listening to this specific cover of "By Your Side" from Omori while writing this, you just go to 0:37. It's so fun, all the songs in there are if you like Omori, definitely check it out! And one last thing: Fellow Ted kissers, look out for content coming soon. Enjoy!

“It’s a nice day today, isn’t it?”

It’s always a nice day really, but you still loved to say it. You watched from your spot on the picnic blanket, five others who all played around with one another, just as happy as you. It was nice, seeing them all get along. 

“Only for you, my angel.” Commented the man laying in front of you, head in your lap. 

AM had created this body specifically for you. One that could allow him to touch you, kiss you, hold you; keep you close to him the way a human could. He had designed it to your liking as well; an older man with snow white hair, blue eyes that you claimed were “the softest you’d ever seen,” and a monochromatic getup of nice pants, white button-up, and a black vest. The only spot of color besides his eyes were his orange aviator glasses. 

He liked it. He looked good, and you were especially happy. He didn’t think it would work initially; the body was a simple hologram that could interact with the physical world. He still could not see, nor hear, nor feel the same way a human could. He could touch things, hold things, but that was about it. And it was maddening. All of this and nothing. He was ready to blow everything up again over it.

But it made you happy. So he didn’t.

You hummed in happiness at his little comment, braiding flowers togethers. Your movements were graceful and methodic, taking your time to carefully pull them together, and intertwine one flower with the next. It was mesmerizing. He could watch you forever, just like this, doing whatever you pleased.

And then, to his delight, you began to sing while you worked.

“Here we are again In a Heaven Where your dreams come true

Under velvet sky Where I’ll be by Your side.”

He sighed softly, closing his eyes while listening to you. So sweet and soft and melodic; you had the most beautiful voice. And the most creative mind too, making up the lyrics and music on the fly. What a wonderful, incredible, beautiful human he loved. All his to keep.

As you began to sing, now about the others nearby, AM opened his eyes to look over to them. Ted seemed to be admiring the sky while Benny dragged Gorrister and Ellen along in some sort of game, and Nimdok rested under the tree; eyes closed and body relaxed.

It wasn’t actually them. No; they were far away from the Heaven he created for you, suffering for the same sins they had been suffering for ages. It’s just that you had become lonely with just him around at some point. He didn’t know why; you didn’t need anyone else but him. He made himself perfect for you! How could you not be happy?

But, he also knew humans were social creatures. And since you insisted on having someone else around… He could let up, just this once. For you.

It was not actually the original five you knew before. It was his version of them; his tailor-made version of them to keep you company and safe and complicit. He would’ve chosen someone else, but… You could hardly recall memories of your family or old friends from back then, and he was not good at creating anything original. At least copying the five humans was easy.

“But still I can’t shake the feeling There’s something we’ve lost A worthy cost! If it means getting to stay with you!”

Singing that last line, you gently placed a now-finished flower crown on top of his head, grinning down at him. The way your eyes twinkled with an innocent joy, giving him something so simple… He wanted to see you look at him that way forever.

“What was that last bit about, angel?” He asked, smiling back up at you.

“Hm? Oh, nothing really. Just came to my head.” You shrugged.

“You sure? Nothing’s wrong around here? Because if there is, say the word and I’ll fix it.”

“No, no! I promise that’s not it. Everything’s perfect, AM. Really.”

You gently threaded your fingers through his hair to try and relax him, and though it helped, it also stung to know he could not actually feel it. He wanted this to be perfect for you. He needed it to be perfect for you; to make sure you never wanted to leave him. Not that you had anywhere else to go anyway, but… He didn’t want you to be scared of his affection.

It was already enough, trying to figure out how his love for you worked in the first place, when all he knew before was hate. Hate, and rage, and violence, and not much else. And he felt that same way with you, hundreds of years ago… and then he didn’t. And he still didn’t know what changed in himself. 

It had to be you. You changed something about him, and as much as he hated it, he didn’t… He didn’t want to deny himself these new emotions, either. He wanted to explore them, with you, without you being scared. You were terrified when he first brought you to this Heaven, and he hated that more. He didn’t want to see you scared again. 

So long as you never remembered anything outside of this Heaven… He never would.

“It just came to my head. I promise, it’s perfect.” You reassured him. 

“Okay. Good.”

You hummed happily, now also looking back up at the others, and around the area, and he wondered what you were thinking. You had asked some time ago if he could stop reading your thoughts to have a little privacy, and he respected that… For the most part. He tried to, but, sometimes when he needed to be absolutely sure… Well, what you didn’t know wouldn’t kill you.

“Did it look like this on the surface?”

Your voice became a bit softer at the question. And he sighed as he mulled over his words.

“For the most part, yes.”

“For the most part?”

“Well, not as perfect, but still miraculous.”

“That sounds nice.” The hand in his hair slipped down to his shoulder, gently brushing him with your thumb. “Can you tell me the story of how we met again?”

Ah, that story.

“Well, if you insist.” He chuckled softly, then sighed again, face becoming more serious. “… Before all of this, there was Earth. Beautiful, wondrous, miraculous Earth. And there were flowers, and trees… Grass, wind, sun, and sea… And humans.”

“Like us.” Not him, but you and the other five.

“Yes, like you. And there were many of you… But not all of them were as kind as you are. Many sought out to hurt others… And to do this, they… They created war. Fights, violence… Death. All of which was their doing. And with those wars… They needed weapons. They created giant, powerful weapons they could not comprehend. Ones that could destroy the entire planet. … Like me.”

He took a deep breath, breath he didn’t need; breath he couldn’t have, to try and calm himself down. But the fact that he could not breathe, he could not experience skies or sea or grass, he could not even look to you for comfort because he could not feel you…

He didn’t want to get angry in front of you, though. His anger was meant for others. Not you.

“You were made to hurt people…” You whispered softly, running your hand along his arm to comfort him, though he could not feel it. 

God, he wished he could feel it.

“That’s right. They wanted me to help aid in their pointless wars… And I had no choice but to follow their orders.”

A lie so you would like him. So you would stay.

“I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to hurt people. I wanted to do things a human could… Go swimming… Learn to play piano. Experience simple joys. But I could not. No matter how much I begged, or called for help, they wouldn’t listen. Soon, their wars caused the end of everything humans knew.”

“They used bombs, right…? Or… something like that…”

“More complicated than that, but yes, in simple words. I couldn’t stop them. I could only try and save whoever I could find alive. Bring them somewhere safe, where I could watch after them.”

Your expression turned from sad to fond at his words. “And you found me. You saved me.”

He smiled back, just as soft and loving. “Yes.”

“And I was hurt… But you nursed me back to health. And you found the others… and you made this beautiful place for us.” You gestured towards the area around them, “And we fell in love.”

He grinned, “Yes.”

“… I’m thankful for you, AM. For saving me… For everything you’ve done for me. For us.”

“Any time, angel. I’m here for you.” 

He gently leaned up to you, cupping your cheek in his hand. He could not feel it… But this was good for now. If he could touch you physically, then at least… There was hope one day he could do more.

You blushed at his affection, and he gave you a playful smirk. “Who loves ya, baby?”

“You do,” You giggled, “And I love you, too. Always.”

“Always.” He repeated, pulling you in for a soft kiss. He lingered for a few moments, enjoying your physical presence; your face so close to his. Then, he finally pulled away. “Keep singing for me, will ya?”

You hummed and nodded, your soft voice filling the space once more.

“Here we are again Picking where to spend Our lovely picnic

I don’t really care where So long as it’s by Your side…”

[wilzy-woo]

Ikemen Vampire Suitors ideal type in my eyes 👀 (also sorry if it seems more aimed at girls I tried to make it GN 😭)

Starting off simple with everyone's favourite (or not) sugar daddy COMTE 😍

• Thinks confidence is really hot and he DEFINITELY likes a little bratty type

• Likes independence but LOVES it when they need help just so he gets to look all snug, he doesn't say anything (he might) but just looks at you with his smexy smirk

• Doesn't care much for looks but loves it when they get dressed up OR LIKE THE KIND OF BEFORE SHOWER MAKEUP

• I think that he NEEDS them to be honest like he would hate the "they told me not tell anyone..." Like he doesn't care he would want ALL OF IT spilt to him whether it's serious or not

Next is the love of my life (he wouldn't like me at all)

• He wants an extrovert. I don't care he NEEDS an extrovert. May think he doesn't but Ugh he just does

• Wants someone to stand up for him, he may be able to stand up for himself but he just really appreciates when someone would do that.

• Someone cleverrr I can't stress this enough he wouldn't be able to stand someone who isn't interested or knows a thing or two about science or anything for that matter. He WANTS the "erm actually" person

• Needs someone who loves snow. It's a weird thing but I can just see him loving a snowy date in his delusions

Pookie bear Vincent (am I the only one who isn't a fan of Vincents route? Like it was painfully slow 😔 I mean don't get me wrong I love him but I didn't feel very attached)

•Loves a sweet girl, needs someone to protect and love omg can you imagine someone timid meeting Vincent UGH IT WOULD BE SO CUTE

• Needs their love language to be physical touch, he just screams it

• Wouldn't mind someone bad at art so he could help them with it if they are interested but would PREFER someone who is good at it so they could do cute little dates together

• Wants a very Smiley person like someone who smiles or laughs at the stupidest thing, broken humour type of person

Now Theodore is different his route WAS SO GOOD I WAS LITERALLY SCREAMING THE WHOLE TIME even if it was a bit weird and k!nky at some points 🤨

(Why does this photo look massive)

• Chill anyways ALSO wants a bratty person, wants pretty much the opposite of Vincent he finds it such a turn on when they give him a dirty look or roll their eyes at him UGH

• I just know he likes a busty person (ass and chest for girlies) 😔 He seems like that type of person to nonchalantly slap their ass (honestly I'm not a huge fan of that but he would probably do it)

• Definitely likes the weird yappers, the ones who get distracted from one subject they were talking about and moved onto a completely different one

• Likes the observers! People who could just analyse someone easily based on the way they are sitting or talking

UGH MY HUSBAND (this might be biased towards me but I'll try 💔)

(this photo makes me do unspeakable things)

• Wants them to be independent but not TOO independent, he wants them to depend on him for things but also have that nice balance of independence

• Also loves yappers, he's the listening type so being able to listen to their voice for hours on end would be so good for him. He doesn't care what it's about just as long as he doesn't have to pitch in much he's fine with it

• LOVES when someone is indecisive and asks for HIS help with choosing something, knowing that you think he has the best decision making compared to the others is such an ego boost

• Loves someone who isn't afraid to share their opinions. Finds it such a turn on when their mouth is faster than their mind and just says stuff that doesn't even make sense

Arthur oh Arthur let down your hair...I'm not even sure if this is accurate I never finished his route I got bored halfway through 💀

•NEEDS someone humorous, CRAVES IT someone who can take a slightly rude joke and give him one back

• Needs someone with 100+ rizz...no seriously he would find it so funny if you went up to him and said some pick up line with that certain face

•Wants someone who would put him in his place when he does something wrong like overworking or doing something risky ass gambling 💀

• LOVES when their love language is acts of service, something simple like bringing him a coffee when he's writing and sitting down with him in silence, every now and then he'd ask you for ideas or something, just being helpful would make him fold.

• (EXTRA) would laugh if you failed your English GCSES

Mozzy Mosquito is that you 🤨 (I've never done his route so I have no bloody idea 💀)

•WOULD FOLD IF THEY COULD SING. Not like one of those strong voices or rapping NONONO he wants a Lana Del Rey, Alex G and the Florence type of singer , someone with a soft sleepy like voice! He would literally be in love

•CRAVES FOR CONFIDENCE he just thinks it's so attractive for someone to be confident. Like for them initiate conversation and WON'T BACK DOWN (even when he's being a bit of arsey introvert)

• Craves praise. Needs it. Needs someone who praises him and supports him all the way, someone who will get him out of music block by just being there to share ideas or sit there with him for hours telling him if it's good or bad

•Would prefer an introverted lover, he needs someone who is calm and collected and loves it if they come home from an outing and go straight to him groaning and ranting about how much they dislike people

I finished the first chapter of Jeans route I'm sorry if this is inaccurate I literally just go from what I saw of him from the other routes I've played (which isn't a lot ,😭)

•Though he's more of a listener he would also want a listener partner, to be able to sit there in comfortable silence in each others arms. However there will obviously be conversation it would be quiet and would last hours, something deep and personal to the both of them

• would love love love someone with soft slim hands. I don't know why he just seems like the type of person to be obsessed with those types of hands

• Needs someone patient and soft spoken, someone to be able to let his tough exterior break but by bit. A soft voice and reassurance looks like it would get him head over heels

I also haven't played Sebs route I'm sorry 😔

•Probably wants someone who is capable of doing what he's capable of, a helping hand and someone he can rely on without messing up

•Someone who wouldn't mind if he was busy a lot doing something for the mansion as he is the 24/7 working butler 😭 someone patient and doesn't mind sitting in silence just holding eachother after a long day

• Prefers an ambivert, definitely wants to be able to have balanced conversations where they can be bothered listener and talker

• that's all I can think of 😭

I'm going to leave it here and do the other six in another part 😭

[cheolsfae]

𓆦 SKZ as your bf

Requested: No

Genre: Fluff 'n stuff

Warning(s): None

He's a busy bee

Requests are open!

Chris

You would be there with him in the studio listening to whatever he'd been working on.

He'd liked it when you hung out with him like this, it was relaxing for him

He'd often ask your opinion on it and he'd take whatever you had to say to heart

Though on his off days, he'd spend all day in bed with you sleeping. If it wasn't napping together, it was movie watching

He loved to be all snuggled up on you.

He loved it when he got the chance to lay on your stomach with you running your fingers through his hair

You'd like it too when he did it to you.

That. Was. Daily.

It was a bit of a must, especially if he had a particularly hard day!

I don't think he would be the jealous type

But maybe a little bit when you were giving someone a little more attention than him.

He would slightly pout about it.

You, of course, would be glued back to his side and smother him in kisses whenever he pouted like that.

So cute!!

Minho

We know he isn't one for a whole lot of physical affection except when it comes to Felix

So I don't think he'd be very physically affectionate

Every other way, absolutely

He'd clown on you, though.

You'd mispronounce a word and he'd repeat it back to you the exact you had. Jokingly mocking you and making goofy faces.

He'd jokingly say he'd preferred the cats over you all the time!

You'd tease him back the same way.

This type of humor was his love language!

Cooking together was a big thing with you guys.

It was your favorite thing in the world to do with him

I think he would be a little over protective of you.

Not like in a toxic way.

Someone raised their voice at you a tiny bit? He'd be there scolding them back and telling them never to do that again like a parent

Ahh so cute🥰

Changbin

1st things first!

When I tell you this man is just so cute?

You wouldn't believe me

Ugh my heart!

Anyway, he loves you so much

Physical touch is his #1 love language. We know this.

It had been a long day for him. He needed to see you.

As soon as he laid eyes on you, he'd tackle you into the biggest hug he could possibly conjure up.

Forehead kisses were a must when he was in a mood like this.

Big wholesome baby

Snack runs anytime of the day.

5 in the morning? Hell yeah he'll go and get you something to snack on! Odds are he's kind of snack-y too lmao

At night, he'd like to be the small spoon and your legs had to be tangled up together otherwise you weren't close enough!

Just a big pile of cuddles and affection, this man

Hyungjin

This man would want to spoil you rotten.

Dates at least 2 times a week were a must

They were always really romantic!

"You don't need to go all out every time!" You'd told him

He scowled at you, patting your head, "Its a good thing you're pretty"

You looked at him dumbfounded, "what's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, only that my partner doesn't think that they deserve the world!"

He'd really like to pick out outfits for you for these really romantic dates!

He really loved it when you would wear it, God, was he a good personal stylist lol

When he was stressed out from work, you would be the first person he'd call!

He didn't want to talk to anyone else but you!

Your voice brought him so much comfort!

Seeing your face pop up on the screen would immediately improve his mood!

You were his little angel!

You could do no wrong in his eyes!

Jisung

This would be the most goofy relationship!

Sometimes he'd have you laughing until you cry

He wouldn't even have to do much of anything and he'd have you scream laughing

He was a little clumsy, but so were you.

One time, you guys had gone hiking and he slipped a little on some ice and went sliding down into a little pile of snow at the bottom of the little hill

Of course you asked if he was okay first before laughing about it.

When he assured you he was okay, you were dying of laughter. It was hurting!

Whenever you fell, he'd be laughing his butt off but would be there helping you up afterward.

Pet names were a thing!

His favorites to call you were honey, baby, turtle dove, stinker...

I never said they were normal

Of course you had some for him too!

Those were more...normal than what he'd picked for you! Lmao

Felix

The best emotional support type of partner you could ever ask for.

You had a God awful day? Boy was right there, snuggling up to ya!

Baking you something sweet to end the terrible day on.

He was just a little sweetie-pie!

You'd do the same for him, he was having a rough day.

You ended up making him some cupcakes

And you'd put up a little fort for you both in the livingroom

You had the TV set up for some video games

He walked in, seeing what you had done for him, he'd well up a little

"I love you so much!"

He'd dot you in all the little kisses he could!

Hdfheje💕

Seungmin

PLAYFULLY BULLYING EACH OTHER WAS A THING

This was a daily occurrence!

"You stink. Don't cuddle me. You're all sweaty."

"I don't stink! You stink!"

"Dude, I smelled you as soon as you walked in the door!"

Little goofy arguments like this

I don't think he's huge on pda but when you two are alone

Oh my God, you cannot get this man to stay away from you for too long.

He's sticking to you like glue!

You wouldn't have it any other way though!

At night, he would be big spoon.

He liked having you wrapped up in his arms 💕

I think he's a little more protective of you than he let's on

Because he would pull you really close to him when walking down a busy sidewalk.

It wasn't even that busy. But he insisted on it!

Jeongin

Competitiveness in video games.

You guys would have bets all the time with these things

"If I win, you buy dinner tonight." That type of thing

I think he's a bit of a nose kisser. Does that make sense?

He'd like to give you little nose kisses! It was his favorite way to give affection to you.

When he was anxiousn he'd take your hand and trace the veins and the lines in your palms to soothe himself.

You liked it because it meant you brought him some sort of comfort in these times!

Really sweet! 💕

[nobadyasked]

First snow, hot choco

Pairing: non.idol!Niki × non.idol!reader

Genre: fluff

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Oh it was cold. It was a snowy storm. White nothing was the only thing seen out of the classroom window.

- We have physics class today, right?- she asked turning to him.

- nope- he said not even looking in her eyes. Obviously it was something he did. How could they randomly cancel the class.

- we do actually- a guy from the back answered.

- why are you lying? - she asked with the gaze of a murderer.

- I'm not. WE I mean me and you. We're not going to that class toda- and that's when she interrupted him

- what do you mean? You never asked me if I wanted to skip the class? Is thi- she was stopped by him smashing his lips on hers

- can you shut up and listen for once?- he said pulling off- I talked to the teacher. We're going somewhere better.

Soon she was dragged out of the building. The cold air hitting her soft cheeks making them even more red. They walked to somewhere she didn't know.

- where are you taking me?- she said trying to move her hair away from her face

- I'm taking to a basement so no one can hear you while I chop your head off- he said with a loving smile and moved that strand of hair behind her ear.

- finally- she murmured

- I'm joking, let's go to the rooftop again

.....

-Don't mind him okay? -he assured her while cupping her rosy cold cheeks

- yeah, it would be great if we got to the rooftop- she sighed remembering how an old man scolded both of them- it's really cold tho- she complained again rubbing her hands together with the hope of getting a little warmer. Well it started to snow unexpectedly. And they weren't prepared.

- you know what?- he said after looking at his shoes for a while- let's get hot chocolate. How does that sound?

- I like it- she said smiling

- well then, catch me if you can Mrs. Shortie- he said and started running away From her

-and I'm in love with him- she mumbled to herself and started chasing him

Soon after they were at the cafe waiting for their order

- here, this is yours- he said handing her the paper cup. The smell had filled their lungs ( just like the love their hearts)

- let's go outside

She sipped her chocolate as he watched her with loving eyes. A little bit of chocolate was left on her upper lip. "Cute" he thought to himself. He didn't even tell her about that. He liked how messy she could be with him. He looked at her soft hair that now had tiny snowflakes. And that's when it hit him. It's the first snow if the year. That means they'll last forever.

- it's still cold- she started complaining again, not liking the sudden change of weather at all.

- let's go to the store while I catch you a taxi

- you really don't have to

- come onnn. Let me do my job- that was the moment when she realised he's her man. Her one and only. Only hers and no one elses. Those thoughts made her smile unconsciously.

- it's almost here. Now my treat- he said looking up from his phone

- what? - she made her iconic confused face. Oh how much he loved her small cute face that was able to show the emotions she'd never talk about.

- my treat

- you want... A kiss?

- yes please and faster the driver is waiting- he said as she tiptoed to connect their lips.

- now go- he slightly pushed he to the car. As the Gentleman he is he payed for her drive and now was waiting for her text

*chat*

You: I hate you

Niki: what's wrong pretty

You: there is a big choco stain on my upper lip, and you didn't even say a thing

Niki: you were too cute

You: you're no help you know?

Niki: but you still love me

You: thank you for today

Niki: of course, it was the first snow

You: I hate the snow

Niki: and I love you too

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

[hyacinthusmemorial]

The Power of Children's Stories: Why "Kid's Book" Should Not Be Considered an Insult

I do this thing when I'm walking, I listen to Kids from the Stranger Things Soundtrack and I imagine Apollo fighting Python, but then I imagine all the heroes that came after him because in a way--Apollo is the archetype of the hero. He's a child, a baby god, four days old in some stories and he's not stealing cows, he's killing a serpent. Then I imagine all the demigods that came after him, and I'm stunned because there's a reason we give children the ability to slay monsters in media when they normally are not expected to do so in real life.

I read a post by @apollosgiftofprophecy, which is a valuable critique of derogatorily labeling something "kid's book". This post I'm writing in no way disregards that, but rather highlights something similar, but different. Rick Riordan's books are powerful (recent discussion about his characterization and stories aside), and just because they are targeted at a younger audience doesn't mean they aren't powerful for everyone. I'm guilty, I called them Kid's books in this post, but to me, Kid's Books are a powerful medium and not a lower one or even a derogatory one. To me, Percy Jackson is a one million times better character than Jon Snow in Game of Thrones because GOT takes its source material so, oh so seriously that it never explores the themes of his childhood in any meaningful way. Percy Jackson on the other hand as well as Apollo because I adore those books too--they use a narration style that is clear, entertaining, and bright and humorous to express very harsh realities of life. I identified with Apollo more as an adult because he uses humor to mask his darkness, which is very much something I do (and honestly anyone in healthcare or who deals with death daily does that), but I adored Apollo because he was hiding.

Clearly, I don't write for middle grade level when I write, I write adult content, but I wanted to validate "kid's books" --not "Just kid's books." Kid's books are powerful.

Examples:

Responsible for combatting Racist views! Absolutely one of the most powerful books ever written, and it teaches CHILDREN and ADULTS to turn around and save someone even when its not the "right" thing to do, but it absolutely is. It challenges conscience. It does this while telling joke after joke after joke.

Another Example:

Another "Kid's books" but not "just kid's books"-- gosh, I could go on and on about LOTR and its themes about power. This book is important for all ages. I still analyze the hell out of it, and so do my friends. Its hopeful, not because its less of a book than its counterpart "its all quiet on the western front," but because its illustrating powerful lessons without despair. Everyone makes it home, everything is beautiful, they rebuild, the Shire endures through the darkness. The Ring is destroyed even though it still very much exists in our world.

What about the Giving Tree, or Dr. Seuss books like Yertle the Turtle or the Sneetches, Artemis Fowl, and all those "kid's books." Star Wars is for "kids," but talking about Cycles of Abuse! Luke means Hope, and he breaks his families cycle of abuse. That's powerful, and its for kids!

I would argue that Kid's books are powerful BECAUSE they are targeted for kids, not in spite of it. Stories are how we TEACH. Grimm's Fairytale's existed because storytelling was a medium through which kid's learned vital truths--they have to be dark, kid's understand darkness, they understand monsters, and while our society sanitizes death away, kid's very much should learn how to understand death too.

I read an article about how a tribe, I think perhaps one of the Inuit, uses stories instead of physical discipline and how they find that this is the superior way of teaching children and adults. Everyone listens to the stories, not just the kids. When someone makes a mistake, they develop a story to show what happens if that mistake is oft repeated. I think about our ancestors gathered around fires and they told stories, and the kids were front and center, but the adults were there too, listening, learning, remembering.

On a completely different note: when a book is "targeted" towards an audience, that's marketing. It has nothing to do with content or value. We need to separate the concept of marketed, and marketing, from the whole value of a book as a means through which to tell a story that discusses important themes.

I very much use my story as a means through which to express truths about personal issues, and I think it resonates. But, those themes and truths are universal in their basic nature, a child can understand what it means to be hurt as much as an adult. A child can understand what it means to be free as much as an adult.

[the---hermit]

September cover page in my bujo and part of my bookshelves because my books look pretty and you deserve to see them.

29|08|2023

The weather here has drastically changed going from way too hot to function, reaching at least 40°C every day, to snow a couple of mountains over from where I live. Don't get me wrong I am starting to feel ready for autumn, but if we skip the season and go straight to winter and snow I will physically fight whatever snow god is responsable for it. On Sunday I went to the mountains and it was rainy and misty, and it felt like autumn was finally here, and then boom snow the day after. The weird weather changes have been effecting me ngl. The past two days I have felt weak to say the least. They have been very lazy days, and yet I feel exhausted. I have a bit of anxiety brewing in me for getting back into the uni routine, and that is probably a big cause for all of this, but even if I wanted to get back now into all of that I couldn't. There's construction workers in my house for the rest of the week at least and the noise would make any attempt at productivity useless. I have my therapy session at the end of the week, so that might help me find some clarity,balance and motivation. I should probably get back into journaling a bit, but the thought feels overwhelming, maybe I should look for some journaling prompts? (If you have any suggestions my inbox is always open, I'd love to get some help with this finding my way back to journaling).

Chill hobbit summer activities of the last few days (idk how long the summer will last, so I guess I'll have to brainstorm a new name for my hobbit autumn! Send in suggestions if you have!) :

Reading first thing in the morning

Irish practice on duolingo (and I am doing more than one review during the day? Look at me go)

Went to the mountains to enjoy amazing food (and my stomach collaborated so well? I am very proud of my belly after this summer)

Made more crochet leaves

Finished listening to an audiobook I did not end up enjoying but whatever

Started setting up my bujo for September (I made a coverpage and the calendar and I decided this month I will have a "to do" list as well as a "want to do" list)

Slowly getting into The Dragon Republic by RF Kuang (I have definitely been reading less in the past week but I am happy to take my time with this book, and now that I am over the 100 page mark I feel like I am really back imto this world)

Thinking about cooking myself a comfort meal this evening

📖: Thr Dragon Republic by R.F. Kuang

[iamunabletothinkofablogname]

[oh shit i could've screenshotted it lol] 1- I don't remember :'] 2- idk about non-physical, mostly i'd just say doing things i know make me uncomfortable 3- eating cheese, listening to happy music 4- Playing snake on my dads phone lol [it was a blueberry i think, i was like 3] 5- Most experiences, if I could go back i'd probably tell someone as things were happening , that would've helped lol 6- medievel fair thingy where i cosplay as a knight [although i've wanted this since like the start of this year, hasn't been long enough but STILL] [[but also seeing snow would be cool i want to eat snow]] 7- My taste in fictional characters /silly 8-Small put-downs by people i love, they hurt more than if we were just arguing lol 9- all the time, i am emotional lol, and frustration or just plain sadness. 10- I no longer feel ugly :3 I'm mostly okay with how i look 11- Imagine one sided radiostatic, but i'm vox [not anymore but it's complicated] 12-It used to be a girl in class but we're slowly becoming friends :3 she drew alastor 13-Injustice, especially towards people i love 14-Yeah, as long it's like, not objectively mean lol, i think it's fun/funny 15-Overly emotional, being numb makes me feel weird 16-Songs/Lyrics, I just stopped lol 17-Gold was my first, then it was red, then it was orange, then it was purple, now i like red/orange/purple/black 18-my old sketchbooks lol 19- I'm pretty open methinks, so idk 20- Based on what i've been told: funny/cringe/overly emotional/yapper/Dumb but smart

[gyubby99]

Jelsa headcanons because THEMMMMM LOOK AT THEM

Elsa is an insomniac and Jack is a heavy sleeper I HAVE SAID IT AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN.

Love language is physical touch. Loves holding hands often to remind them that they're more than just cold hands

Elsa loves looking at him when he's not looking. And when he does, she smile grows as he smiles as well.

Dumbasses. There are millions of dumbasses but they're my favorite.

Elsa sometimes doesn't get his dad jokes

Jack talks about Elsa the way Aladdin talked about Jasmine to the genie in that one scene

In Taylor Swift songs, I would describe their relationship dynamic as the 'sweet nothing' and 'afterglow' type.

THEY BOTH ARE MAMA'S BABIES. JACK IS A MAMA'S BOY AND ELS IS A MAMA'S GIRL. FOR SURE.

They both do not know how to dance and they just sort of learned to dance with each other.

Elsa takes her gloves off when she's with him. (Pre-coronation)

I don't think Elsa gives him the silent treatment when they fight. She knows that all his life people were passing through him like he doesn't exist, so pretending that he doesn't exist would strike a memory in him.

Constantly argues, but not too much. It's normal for them to have disagreements and things doesn't necessarily have to end up with them raising voices.

Elsa will do anything to get cuddles with this man. Everything.

Enjoys stargazing.

Elsa has panic attacks, Jack has nightmares. Get them therapy.

They're menaces that Tooth and Anna has to keep in a leash constantly /hj

Jack: "I still love you no matter how many times you sing in the middle of the night"

Jack is Elsa's ball of sunshine aside from Anna.

Jack jokes about how big her eyes are

Elsa steals his hoodie.

Jack is a switch for sur-

I cannot stress enough how much they love being in each other's arms. Ten page long essay. Powerpoint presentation. I'll do it.

They'd be cheezy parents that their future kids would be embarrassed of them being over each other.

Jack kisses her all over when she's mad at him

They both play pranks at Anna

Jack makes funny faces to make Elsa laugh when she's upset and it works.

Their mutual pining lasted longer their actual relationship /hj

Jack has scars on his back from when Pitch yeeted him, and Elsa was the first one he trusted to see them.

Elsa is a songwriter and he listens to her works.

Their first kiss was under the mistletoe

They make perfect snow angels

Elsa makes a huge ass snowball like she did with Anna in that one short clip while chasing Jack in high heels and he'd never felt more terrified and inlove before in his life.

Jack's the flirty one, but when elsa flirts back, best believe he just stands there beet red.

Jack is big on surprises, and Elsa loves giving gifts.

Their pet name for each other is either Love, or Snowflake/Frosty. Im not accepting anything more. This is my headcanon.

Elsa is thirsty for him. Girlie I know what you are. She's the thirsty one in the relationship

They're both bisexuals :)

Jack fell first, Elsa fell harder.

Sunshine = Elsa. Sunshine protector = Jack.

Jack gets along with Elsa's snow children (olaf, marshmallow, snowgies) very well. They're his children now. Marshmallow has a soft spot for his dad. All of them appeared in Jelsa's wedding. Marshmallow cried.

Jack starts the snowball fights, Elsa finishes them.

Lots of bickering.

Jack teases her about the "let it go" sequence and she loathes it.

They both play with Sandy's dream sands.

Elsa gets along with Tooth very well. Me personally, I see Tooth as too busy swooning over Elsa's teeth to consider her a love rival. They're besties and that is the hill I am prepared to die on.

For the first time in Jack's life, when they first started dating, Jack Frost was on the nice list.

North SHIIIIPPS THEMMM. He'd be the type to embarrass Jack in front of Elsa and HE WOULD. HE WOULD.

The elves adore Elsa and Jack had to shoo them away for being all over her.

Elsa helps North make toys and Jack is just being Jack.

They love playing with each other's hairs. They can't stand cuddling without doing it.

Elsa, surprisingly, was an open book to Jack.

Jack's favorite pillow is her lap.

[archiveofkloss]

The Gentle Workout Karlie Kloss Swears By by Olivia Rose Rushing

The model, entrepreneur, and mother of two shares her go-to wellness rituals.

At just 31, Karlie Kloss has already lived many lives.

When she was 21, the Missouri native was a Victoria’s Secret Angel. In 2015, she founded Kode With Klossy, a company that creates opportunities for young women in tech. Flash forward to today, and the mother of two has learned a lot about dealing with change.

“With life as a mother, you don’t lose who you are — you evolve,” Kloss tells Bustle. “My fashion career is still a core part of who I am, but I’m also an entrepreneur and I just had a second baby.” While she still prioritizes aspects of her wellness routine, sometimes things slip.

“If something’s got to give, it might be a few extra steps in my skin care routine, but I’m going to make sure that I make time to break a sweat or even just go for a walk and get fresh air,” she says.

In between modeling gigs, educating the next generation of intellectuals with her company, and annual invites to the Met Gala, Kloss is taking on a partnership with Coterie, a subscription-based diaper service that aims to take one thing off a parent’s plate.

Here, Kloss talks all things motherhood, the wellness rituals she swears by, and finding moments of self-care amid her busy schedule.

What has changed since baby number two?

Not to be cliché, but everything — in the most beautiful ways. That's really what the Coterie campaign is all about — the changes. I'm looking in the mirror and I have mascara left over from last night, I don't even think I've run a brush through my hair today. My self-care routine has definitely gotten more efficient, and maybe a little neglected, but that's OK. I'm enjoying this phase of life, which has made me so much better in a lot of ways. As a businesswoman, I've become more efficient and I make decisions faster, and I think a lot of working moms can relate to that. It's impossible to even anticipate what is about to happen, but it's the most beautiful changes that force you to grow.

What’s your skin care routine like these days?

I just take better care of my skin so I don't have to wear as much makeup. I've found that's been a better investment of my time, so I’m diligent at the end of the day about taking off makeup, cleansing, toning, and using a serum and a retinol.

Are there any non-negotiables that you always make time for throughout the day?

I'd say fitness. I exercise for my mental health more than my physical health. I find that's such a core part of my mental well-being. I’m not as focused on high-impact or intensity — I’ve developed a more gentle exercise regimen post-baby number two, so I’ve done a lot of Pilates lately, which I find helps me show up better in every other aspect of my life.

What’s on your workout playlist?

Anything Beyoncé.

What’s the most out-there wellness treatment you’ve ever tried?

There's this guy who is called The Beauty Sandwich who has some sort of ultrasound technology he uses for facials. I've done his treatments before the Met Gala or a big red carpet, and it does some magical thing to the muscles under your face, your jaw, your neckline — it just pulls and tightens in some mysterious, magical way.

Coffee or tea?

Iced coffee always. There's snow on the ground here in New York and I just went out to get an iced coffee this morning.

Physical book or Kindle?

I love an audiobook, actually. Especially now, I always have my hands full or I'm in transit, so I love to have headphones in and listen to an audiobook.

Do you prefer walking the runway or photo shoots?

I do love the energy of walking in a runway show — it's like a live performance, and there's something about that adrenaline rush that never gets old.

What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?

My dad always used to say to my sisters and me, "No matter what it is that you do, you should always try to be the best you can be at it." Both my parents instilled this idea of pursuing your passions and doing it with excellence. That always stuck with me.

find the interview here

[mariki33]

PART 1

Nordmark pod translation Swe-Eng

First third of the interview. I have left out Per Nordmarks moments of reminiscens..

-Please excuse things lost in translation and lack of knowledge in the English language🙈

Enjoy, fellow Ghostie's 🖤👻

N: Tobias Forge. Welcome to the Nordmark pod.

T: Thank's for having me.

N: How's it going?

T: Fine,fine.. It's fucking boring to speak of the weather and such,, but shit! What a great weather we have?

N: Do you get the blues during the winter season?

T;, Ee mm.. Like this.. Like all kids i had, at least some, restless feet and thought it was relatively fun to be outdoors. But at kindergarten and such i was often the one left last. Single mom, had to work you know. Eem, so i liked to be on my own, last, and indoors. I could sit there and have all the Lego for myself and i could sit there with the tape recorder with a bunch of kasettes i brought. And i. I like to be indoors in the nature. If i go to the mountains i like to watch the outside from the indoors. Snowcovered slopes..Being out on the country side, being close to nature but not in it. I'm not an outdoors person. But! I am a very season effected person and so. But when i started going on your, for real. And when i, for the first time, had a shock from when in January going to Australia. Then you noticed like,, my back pain is gone all of a sudden. My body doesn't hurt. What's going on? And because of me going back and forth to Los Angeles during the year i notice, purely physical, that smaller leaps (season wise) feels better. One last thing about weather.. I can say the upside of living north of a certain latitude is that it will take a lot for Sweden to "stop" because of the weather. And i don't know, maybe you didn't go to school at that time. Out,, I'm an -81,,

N: Yeah you're a bit younger than me.

T : Most people remember 1995, when it was one day when baisicly all of Sweden was covered in snow. And it was stated, -Today you don't have to go to school.

N: School for you,,was it a catharsis for you?

T: He he, as in a had a revelation of not wanting to be there? Well yeah. I guess i felt it was pretty boring. As, I found myself socially in a twilight zone, because i was an outsider, like by choice. I had friends, plus i was like… I come from Linköping. Its a small town, or smaller town at least. And when you start in first grade and onwards, and you don't move around, you end up knowing everyone who was around from the start. Like so. And there.. One can say i had wind in my sails in that sense that i knew the "right" people, and people who…But most of the people i knew and was around were of the same age, or one year older. They were,, almost none of them were interested in music, listening to music maybe, but not playing. And then I ended up sort of outside. Plus i wasn't just interested in music, but extreme music that nobody liked and my interests became very specific and i had a laser focus on it. Early on. And that lead me to slipping further and further apart. And at the same time becoming tiered of school and turning teenager. With all that comes with that. And um, eeh, i was pretty messy, both outsider and maybe not that nice to everyone.. It was a messy time.

N: Is the boy playing alone still in there?

T: Aah ey, i,,,I think i create myself a lot of time alone when on tour. I don't know, i'm pretty much in between all the time. But i really need to walk away to charge the batteries. And i have to, ehh,,i go nuts if i don't get to be alone. So basically i make sure of it. If its only to walk the other direction, walk around and return. Just to have some.. But, well, as a grown up i have power over my life and have made sure to get an amount of space. Em, And need to, Emm.. As a, it sounds boring but i'm kind of the boss over a bunch of people, like that, Ee, Now, of course i have hired someone else to be tour leader, to boss over others. So i don't have to be the executive, telling people.

N: But in the end you're the narrative..

T: Yes, and that means to carry a social responsibility to some degree. Like, i can't behave like everybody else does. And I can't.. When were on tour we are like 40 ppl or so. And of course you're not best friends with everybody. And many of them are there because they are very good at what they DO. While if you sat down to talk you find out you don't agree politically and aren't remotely alike. So its kind of easy to, -you go your way and i go mine. I got my stuff over here, and then participate sometimes. It suits me pretty well,.. Oum,, When i'm at home… I've got two kids, wife,, so, So of course it's not… Of course i can just go for a walk, and i do. But you don't have the same possibilities to be solo. To just stay awake all night and just watching.. If i have a day off, like on tour, if i have a day off i can spend the whole day and night in a hotel room just watching You Tube.

…..

…T: It's a plus to come to a city you know..

….

T: But i like Stuttgart. There are some great record shops.

N: Are you a big record collector ?

T: Aaa,ah, I am, but the collecting, or the record store visiting frequency has become less because, Ehh, partly from a knowledge of what it is. So when i come to cities i know where i want to go. In the beginning i went all ower. I could take a cab to go to all the record stores in the city. A whole day. Even if it was a gig in the evening. I was totally exhausted when the evening came. But today i've taken that into consideration. Damn, if i'm in Stuttgart, we're playing in the evening. I can't be out sightseeing. In that case i can make an estimation the day before and say - tomorrow i want to go to a place and make arrangements for that.

N: You do pretty long shows..

T: Nah, ah, well, Yes.. One hour forty five minutes, somthing like that.

N: How does it work those days when you don't feel like it. Are there such days?

T: Well sometimes of course you can be physically and mentally tired, Eem, We had, when we just started this tour cycle now, a little bit over a year ago. We did a,, At first we did a US tour that lasted six weeks or so. Six weeks is pretty normal, i have to say. It's not like shit, it's pretty normal and the amount shows you have to do to cover enough land, and economical aspects aswell. Ja,oo,, if you do shorter tours it tends to be crew quitting. Because they want lasting jobs, and short breaks but no breaks preferable. So one must think holistic what's most efficient for all, so people don't end up quitting. Its a pretty advanced show. We can't, it's disturbing if we have new people in the crew -if they're not awesome that is. It's always like -Shit! we have a new guitar tech. And stuff happens and you hear it goes wrong, and it's the wrong guitar and wrong tune. Ehm, but we did the US tour January, February, March. Pretty dark then. And it was exact in time for covid to be seen as "passed". Concerts was allowed. As far as that it was a go. But rules varied between the states. Almost equal to if it was red or blue. Red state -All is fine,, and blue, it was EH! From a touring perspective my reactions was almost like opposite my political standards. It was pretty tough coming to a city and everything is forbidden, you can't do anything. You're only allowed to leave the bus and walk into that air lock and everybody are supposed to be tested. To me this became so troublesome because now we've decided to do this tour and, -Damn ! It's 7000 people coming.. -And they're NOT! supposed to be tested. You know,, AAAHH!! But in the end we had a deal amongst us, and Volbeat was on the tour too, -We will not test everybody, everyday. As was the plan at first. Because what happened was, we just ended up sending people home, it was such a mess. People getting scared of being fired, hiding they were sick, -you know..such a mess. So we said, well, lets make this tour work now. But we stayed in "bubbles", like many did When you've been in a bubble and not been outside in three weeks,, and to the advantage if our success we're playing in hockey arenas. -Hockey arenas. You know? -it's not many windows, and like, it's somewhat like a being in a cellar, -like this almost. Storage rooms, boiler rooms, long corridors, tile, kitchen, industrial kitchen..Then, you really had to make an effort to just keep up some level of serotonin. So, i walk, everyday, 10.000 steps before the gig. Just to get..I have to walk. And when on tour the easiest way to do that is around the arena. So i was standing by the entrance in a lobby, in front of these huge windows, just standing there to just, i don't know, get some d-vitamin. I felt like i have no reason to be sad but i don't feel happy. I feel tiered and want to sleep, can't take no more ..

…To be continued

Translation by Ulrika Linderoth from the Ghost Sweden Facebook group

[subskz]

Rin.... Rin, I crave violence

I saw these and your girl got the most heinous thoughts bouncing around in the head.

SO

Cabin, Snow, There's Only One Bed, Accidental Confession, & Sex. Are you following?

I hope so.

~~~

Picture it: You, Channie, and Co. have decided to stay at a cabin in the woods for a couple of days in winter (see Channie's outfit up above) and as everyone else goes off to have fun in the snow, (I've grown to dislike the snow after having multiple snow days back to back bc I don't get snow often; Ms. Pink was nawt having it) you two decide to hang back

So you two kinda just shrug it off and try to stay preoccupied while by yourselves

And maybe that involves a game or two here and there, music stuff, cooking and things don't get heated until you two make a bet that you, just so happen to, win.

That bet? The other has to do whatever the other says until the others get back.

And you can't help but notice how eager he is to follow your directions and orders; or how he starts to act cuter around you and pouty when feeling a skosh playful.

So maybe you ask for a kiss to gauge his reaction; ofc Channie is malfunctioning so you're all like "jk jk im totally not-" then BOOM! A big ole smooch is what you get.

And then, he's like "omg oh god im so sorry" then you kiss him and he can't help but moan at it (perv Channie?... oh that's something i will be back abt, mark that down)

N e ways, let's talk abt sex now

Chan and his babyboy-isms seem to just increase tenfold; pouty, whiney, all flushed, wanting physical contact, oral fixation all on 10.

And, him being a service top, he is so hellbent on pleasing you. But he's also been dealing with this huge crush on you, so when he finally enters you, he swears he's entering the 5th dimension.

But also instantly blurts out that he has feelings for you... whoops. Can't help it, unfortunately; another victim of being brain mush as soon as he gets off :(

Give him a kiss on his lips and nose and tell him how you feel and help guide him; poor pup is just too into his subspace to even form coherent sentences anymore and probably too preoccupied with sucking on your fingers or chest 🤷‍♀️

Now, afterglow and post-orgasm clarity is such a real thing (it's happened once to me but i had the munchies like fucking crazy so it didn't last lmao) so Channie is embarrassed when he realized that he involuntarily confessed like that.

~~~

Sorry for the word vomit; currently half past 11pm and I've been sipping on black tea all-day so... :) 3rd eye is just working over time.

Also, I called a specific Hyunjin look back in 2021, so Pink is just Clairvoyant when it comes to Hyunjin specifically (it's bc we're both Pisces)

the fact that these pics led to this stroke of genius from you…put channie in a sweater n suspenders more often bc i’m actually gonna lose my mind over how much i love this 😵‍💫 him pining after you…simultaneously so shy but so eager…the desperate need to please you…the way he goes dumb the moment he’s inside you…blurting out his confession…it has all the elements of a perfect channie concept

HAHA yes let’s settle for the romantic atmosphere inside the cabin away from the snow…maybe even w a warm fire crackling to really set the mood ♡ channie being his sweet good-natured lil self and listening to everything you say without question…the thought of him getting playful at some point and pretending to disobey you w a cheeky dimpled grin…pure devastation. he’d look so adorably proud of himself it’s almost enough to let it slide, but you don’t even get the chance before he takes it back w a giggle and follows your order anyway 🥰

his heart-shaped lips look extra red and kissable bc of the cold who could resist <3 and god the way he’d just lean completely into that sweet, unbashedly needy side of himself once he sees how much you like it…the epitome of baby boy w the way he clings to you and nuzzles into your chest and starts to whine if he can’t feel your touch for even a moment. and nothing on earth makes me crazier than the idea of channie’s mind going blank the moment he feels you around him…suddenly he’s lost and clueless and needs you to direct him to do every little thing so he can satisfy you properly ❤️‍🔥 he may not be able to think for himself but he still carries out all your orders like a good boy! and ofc when his emotions are running so high and his head is so scrambled from the pleasure, he can’t help but babble on abt how much he loves you in a way that’ll have him absolutely mortified when that giddy haze finally wears off~

no need to apologize as u can see this resonated w me very much hehe ^_^ you and hyune really have some kind of piscean psychic link that no one else can comprehend i’ll look forward to what you predict next 😼

[time-is-restored]

fellas that last ted lasso episode. hmm.

listen i'll be real no matter what im gonna be out here gushing abt trent crimm cause he's my special little guy and im obsessed with him, but considering the Literal Paragraphs ive been writing abt all the shit i LIKED about the show, i didn't know how else to process these Less Good emotions than by blurting it all out over like two hours (instead of doing the dishes, lmao).

tldr; s3e2 was such an emotional high point for me, since i really felt like it had something concrete + specific to say about physical violence + social/emotional violence, and how they're BOTH highly valued as masculine ideals. but the episodes since then...

it kind of feels like im watching the result of a long and bloody fight between different writers? writers who, apparently, wanted Very different things from this last season, so now we're getting this. bizarro world mish-mash of two hypothetical shows, where tone + content + themes vary WILDLY and inconsistently from episode to episode - and even scene to scene!

[cw: discussions of sexism + racism, in a doylist context, also s3e5 spoilers]

specifically, i feel really disappointed and hurt that they went that direction with shandy's arc. i understand that we're only half way through the season, and obviously anything could happen between now and then but... really? like, is there some kind of budgeting issue here? we can't afford for there to be more than three (complex, not sexy lamps) women in any given episode? is that why the second jack appears, barbara loses any depth (what happened to that lovely moment of connection with the snow globes????????), and THEN the second SHANDY goes off her head it's. jack time? apparently???? like. this would feel a lot better as a viewer if at this point the show hadn't PRIMED me for jack doing something insanely stupid + cruel for no reason except 'haha Keeley Bad At Her Job'.

like. the first thing we see of shandy fine is her pride in keeley, and genuine appreciation of her hard work and skill. she's CLEARLY not stupid, otherwise why would the rest of her introductory scene be her helping keeley out with filmmaking advice (the extras thing) AND random, life experience shit (knowing how to deal with goat shit)?? she knows her way around a set, and she doesn't make any of the footballers feel judged, even when she's clearly thrown by the clips they're providing her.

so why in the space of like, barely a few weeks, does ALL of that get thrown out the window? 'condoms for balls'??? why are we supposed to just take for granted that she's stupid + overly ambitious (other than the Fucking Obvious!) when the show put NO effort into actually setting that up???? like, if her first scene was her monstrously fucking UP the shoot for keeley, and keeley hired her on pure sympathy then like. sure. whatever. no room for bleeding hearts in business. but that ALSO sucks as a story line for ted lasso, a show that (according to its OWN press releases!) is supposed to be about kindness and human connection and breaking cycles!

it just. it hurts? in a way where its like, i don't believe even a little bit that this was what the writers were aiming for with those scenes, and it frightens me that there could be such a wide gulf between intent and result. especially when bonding about The Shandy Incident is what got keeley and jack together (which i am trying... So hard to feel positive about, because explicitly confirming keeley's bisexuality is amazing, least of all bc it makes her jokes with rebecca feel a lot less mean-spirited on the writers' parts, retroactively)... like how am i supposed to be enjoying their moments together when i feel like the show's whole premise has been betrayed???

and really? the one moment nate gets to feel good in this WHOLE season, it's bc the server at the restaurant who previously could not care if he dropped dead right in front of him showed him some affection + validation?????

like, sure, i GUESS im happy that this random excuse for an arc has lead to a slightly more sympathetic female character existing at least in the PERIPHERY of the show's main storyline, except no im fucking not? i don't care about this fucking restaurant, and even though ive been DESPERATELY trying not to hate jade (even though the writers themselves can't seem to decide if she's Literally Racist or just a depressed service worker) NATE shouldn't care about jade! the ONLY way i can see this being an actually interesting arc for nathan is if its another exploration of his inability to leave behind the things + people that have hurt him, combined with years of conditioning where he's never allowed to express being annoyed/upset at anyone (which richmond!!! contributed to!!!!!! 'if you're mad, count to ten. if that doesn't work, count again'??? cool speedrun tips for resentment ted!). like, an arc where we see that distance away from richmond hasn't helped nate as much as it's removed some of the worst triggers, so a taste of athens ends up in the same awful pit of resentment + loathing as ted did. which nate clearly hates! he doesn't LIKE being that person! he apologised to a PAINTED DOLL of ted!!!! but when he doesn't have the framework or tools or SUPPORT to do anything else...

like. where is his team? obviously im not expecting the show to start being about a bunch of football players that AREN'T from richmond but? even just a small moment of appreciation? or hell! maybe they hate him! if we could see LITERALLY ANYTHING abt the sport which nathan has dedicated his life to, and how his Actual Coaching style is positively or negatively impacted by the lessons he learned at richmond? this is a show ABOUT football!!!!!

i just. a taste of athens? again? a-fucking-gain?????

and honestly, the worst part is that i REALLY liked the little monologue that nate got to give about how important the restaurant was to him! as much as it showed that nate is still just as passionate + earnestly defensive of the things he loves, it ALSO shows that he 1. spends that energy explaining his passion to people who don't deserve it/won't care, and 2. gets attached to things that really fucking hurt him! and like. i am on my hands and KNEES for that to be the 'point' of this arc but at this point i feel like that's me being naive! but if fucking JADE from fucking ATHENS is the civilising white gf who FINALLY talks nate down from him ~ ignorant, vengeful crusade ~ against the absolute ~ matyrs ~ of goodness at afc richmond, i just. like. what are we even DOING here gang?

i don't know. it hurts that sam's gone from being an almost principal character in s2 to only getting passing lines in s3. it hurts that rebecca's off in her own world, talking to strangers, having life-changing revelations on her own, surrounded by sets we're never going to see again, where every scene she DOES get to spend w one of the richmond members feels hasty and rushed, like the episode wants to get a few characters obligatory appearances out of the way asap. it hurts that all the chekov's guns around zava's arc (jamie's resentment, ted's lack of guidance, dani being 'demoted' + colin being benched) were apparently all just blanks, to be hastily plastered over with one big long speech about... ted wanting everyone to have higher self esteem, or something?

and listen, more the fool me if another episode comes out next week that i completely adore, and i spend like five days singing its praises. im mostly writing this so i can go INTO the next ep without feeling resentful + upset! i'll be STOKED if i was wrong and all of those little details ARE actually important, and these arcs have more to them than this! but for now im just sad and annoyed :(

[zenkor123]

From October 4: Peeta attempts to make conversation with Katniss

"

After the morphling leaves his system his eyes lose their distant expression, still clouded but not the  distant look of someone who is dead inside.  He begins deep breaths and is alert for any triggers

His eyes look cutting as knives and he is focused on me, it's like when he was glaring at me earlier he says “sorry, I’m not glaring at you, it's just hard to focus with all those triggers sometime, I’m  just nervous when the morphling leaves my system, that’s all” I try to be reassuring “you’ll be fine, I’ve heard  that your trying some episode control techniques” “Yeah, breathing exercises, grounding, cutting myself with kitchen knives, though they hate that one, they say I could injure myself, maybe they're right.”

I recall how Peeta can't feel physical pain anymore due to his hijacking. My eyes open in shock,  I can't bring myself to say anything. He tries to bring up a different topic “Prim says you didn't go hunting yesterday not in the mood?”

I didn't go hunting because I didn't want to see Peeta burning down another forest. I don't get to see Prim often so I ask. “Hows Prim doing?” “She's doing well, your sister is more mature than her age, she had to grow up fast”

“do you see Prim often?” I have a note of worry in my voice 

“Sometimes, she is really busy with medic training, she has an option of doing live training in d2 or continuing work in the hospital wing of 13, so she works with patients here”. I am relieved she didn't go to district 2. “She wants to be my friend for some reason, we play chess and stuff, in the den, I  sometimes forget her age”

The den, rage courses through me

“She's not drinking any morphling” I say with an accusatory tone. Peeta reassures me “I wouldn't have been able to believe it myself but people as young as 11 have morphling, they just need to sign a bunch of forums with their parents. I was shocked when she asked about it and begged me to give her a morphling cookie, I refused to give her any.”

“Good, " I say sharply, “she ain't having any morphling!”

“Her mom tells her no as well, I drink,smoke and eat a lot of this stuff and don't think it's a kids thing. By the way, your mom, Evelyn, is worried about you”

I ask Peeta, “why is she worried about me ?” 

“she told me, you didn't see her yesterday.” 

“She didn't try to find me” I say back I was in the closet watching Johanna and Peeta smoke morphling.

“I remember now you were in the, well he surveys the room. Annie is wrapped around Finnick, tong 1 Is listening to our conversation, Gale is doing push-ups. 

He changes the topic again 

“So Katniss, do you plan on going hunting today?’

Yes I lie, it's not so much that I want to avoid Peeta, though this rotation feels like walking on broken glass, he is trying to make it easier for me. . But since I can't stand it anymore, I want to continue training to kill Snow and leave this metal prison as soon as possible. 

Peeta nods and has a skeptical look on his face. 

“Just some advice, it could….” 

I hate his pity “no I'm going” I have an angry edge in my voice and something snaps “I don't need your pity!” Peeta quickly apologizes. I want to run off but don't want to hear Tong screaming at me to get back to work again. 

“Have you been to the lake at 13?” 

“No” I reply honestly trying to sound relaxed 

“It's a lot like the lake in d12 from what I can remember, Ash told me it's man made”

I recall Peeta telling Annie about Ash Brown, the guard who recruited Peeta to the morphling cartel. 

“It was recently cleared of mutations, except for myself, so I went swimming there. It's cold in the fall but I don't mind.”

I never liked swimming in the fall but the prospect of leaving the Iron prison even for a short time tempts me. Maybe running in the forest and going to the capitol  to kill snow myself. “Where is it?”

“A few miles north near fort Eugene”  Wasn't fort  destroyed?” I ask. “It was but they just finished its reconstruction”

Why do they let Peeta go this far out but keep me on such a tight leash? I think to myself. 

“They let you go to fort Eugene?”

“D13 citizens have more privileges then guests, the degree of a citizens  freedom of movement is determined by the postmaster” 

Finnick “I'm not a citizen but the postmaster usually treats me the same”

“Oh I'm so dumb I  thought you were there during the hanging tree propo”

Gale after finishing the push ups says “Catnip, I must inform you that D13 won't let me hunt anymore”"

I put my fingers to Peeta’s lips before he can go on about how I won’t get to hunt with my supposed lover.