#LIKE..... UR RITE BUT ALSO LIKE.........

[archersartcorner]

The Barbie n Ken mugshots made me think of these two… and a lil bonus :-)

[projectdivaar]

WHAT okay so I js finished s1 of spn and I think I might not b normal after thos. and i am never ever recovering. what on EARTH

[putridpuppy666]

finally producing again n it feels so good but also it feels like I'm carving my flesh off of my body (sexfully)

[blueiight]

Bill Withers has one of the best song uses in a movie/show. Avon Barksdale's 1st appearance is set to "Use Me" as D'Angelo enters the club. Perfect song emotionally but also thematically. It's D's story. "You just keep on using me / until you use me up."

[gibbearish]

jehtkenktnejtjr

[lunarscaled]

bc one of the Dragon Sage's primary duties is protecting Dragon Fang from dangers from the sea and monsters, they regularly are expected to perform a ritual dance to honor the souls of those who go out to find flock and don't make it back safely, as a method of appeasing their souls and putting them to rest.

The dance is typically performed on the closest full moon of a solstice/equinox and/or following natural disasters. It lasts from moonrise to sunrise; the attire of the Sage for the dance has many more loose layers tied together with cords of beads and crystal, making it much lighter than the typical feathered cloak garb, and can be done in slippers or barefoot. The Sage dances at the mountain peak overlooking all of the island and the sea around it, and residents come and go with offerings and memorials of the dead and lost.

As a Sage, the dance was one of the first things Lyric was expected to learn to do, since dancing at high altitudes requires acclimation and tolerance. Even when they have escaped to Hyrule, they will still dance, and hope it puts souls to rest.

[telltalebatman]

i'd say rip friedkin, but tbh he sucked ass and the exorcist is mid at best. i do like this single shot of father merrin though.

[rubys-domain]

i'm a little upset because i spent all day grinding for primos and didn't get a single chong const on either of my accounts. i got a fourth lion fang and the bell of all things. literally why

[ukitakejuushiro]

hey hey hey! guess what day is here again? Happy Birthday!!!

ANOTHER YEAR, ANOTHER SMILE THANKS TO U 😭 I hope you know I get good vibes whenever you slide into my inbox without fail 🥹 Thank you and Happy Birthday to you as well!!! I hope you have a blast doing your favorite things with your favorite people today! 🥳💚

[thatdeadaquarius]

About your language brainrot. I see your "Reader's writing can't match tyvat's long and flowery writing" and bring you "Tyvat isn't used to books over 50 pages long so a short story to the Reader is a whole dictionary to tyvat readers".

Seriously, have you seen how thin the books are? They don't wrote novels, they write short chapters formatted in the way really old stories are. As in, summarizing all the events down into one smooth story then adding a few quotes. Fanfiction writers are insane. They will willingly sit down and write hundreds of words at a time. To them, a proper modern day story of maybe, oh 10k words or so, would probably be like the Oddessy itself.

If we were to combine the two headcanons. It would end up as many historians being intimidated by this insanely long written scripture in the language of the forgotten.

I'm going to take this a step further and say that if the creator asked some people to proofread their things, it would establish a hiarchy of who is able to actually finish the book the creator read and who isn't.

NOW THIS, THIS IS MY FUCKING JAMMMM

I'm so sorry this is so old!! u probably all know this by this point that I've really slowed down as the year has gone on, but I graduated university and then got my first job so its been pretty crazy!

Sun: Reader (you/they/them)

Orbit: Headcanons-ish

Stars: dash of all the book/nerds of Genshin, heavy on Sumeru?

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: Cussing, 16+ Mature Audiences, Spoliers for Sumeru Archon Quests/Scaramouche, & Trigger Warnings: mention of shipping/characters shipping themselves with you.

Comment if any missed, please.

☆

FULL STOP.

THE AKADEMIYA, FONTAINE RESEARCH INSTITUTE, HAVE BEEN WAITTTINNGGGG ON YOUR ASS LMAO

You fall from the fucking sky like a 5 star, or pop out of the Irminsul or whatever

and immediately are mobbed by scholars. LMAO jkjk (not really, bc that's what it’d feel like)

can you even imagine the dread older stories(”the classics” to them), that was instilled in the poor students around Teyvat??

id like to think ur works are the most preserved over the thousands of years of Teyvat archeologists excavating them, in comparison to other authors (teyvat just likes you more, suck it William Shakespeare)

also, bc I cant resist language differences/world building I'm sorryyyy 😭 😭

the vocab of Genshin lang vs. ours, has significantly less vocabulary like their actual dictionary is 1/3 the size of ours type of energy

(Omfg all ur fanfics being considered like insanely long realistic romantic classics or tragedies like Jane Austen-level, and only the richest and biggest play companies put on plays about ur stories bc the script goes on for hours)

(ur plays only get put on for rlly big events bc of this, like Lantern Rite or like a Summer/Winter festival/your birthday, which is, yes, an international holiday)

dude the sheer power move of anything you’ve written being essentially “Journey of the West” to them, like Damnnn.

endless like adaptations, plays, Teyvat-short stories condensing it, (THEIR OWN FANFICTION ABOUT UR STORIES)

the power is, in fact, going to your head every time another scholar both deflates at how long ur stuff is, but also lights up bc they get to read it

speaking of scholars… you know who snatched you up first. you know. you don’t even need to read the next line.

Alhaitham.

sneaky bastard he is, absolutely manipulated, mansplained (and manwhored bc he knows he’s handsome, cheeky little shit) his way into getting you to sit down with him and interview you about both translating other classics, your own, giving your own analysis of others works and ur own, and picking ur brain apart of how/why you wrote urs, etc. its fucking endless,

Kaveh had to come rescue you bc u were starving to death after getting stuck with the Haravatat scholar in his office for nearly 7 hours of interrogation discussion about literature

and Alhaitham wasn't even nearly done, he’d informed you as you left that he already had another appointment for later conversation scheduled (how?? you don't even know ur own schedule??? you have a schedule???) and was looking forward to more of your “creative and enlightening input” :)))

(you’re never going to escape him, not even Nahida herself can save you from his stubborn ass)

On another note, Xingqiu is quaking when you agree to autograph his copy of your stories (of which he has all hard covers of the first edition translations)

Zhongli/Rex Lapis is known for having a near-lifelong passion for searching for your works specifically, and learning how to translate them better into Teyvatian vernacular

like the same way he can absolutely speak on Rex Lapis facts/rocks/adepti info, is the same confidence he speaks about knowing ur work lol

(yes he did also ask for several autographs and another sit-down talk about the works, tho a lot more sneaky then Alhaitham bc he just casually gets u guys into it during dinner)

Barbatos/Venti has written some of the most famous songs based on your stuff, he has his favorites too,

but he always claims the best songs are any that have been written in the story, like either when a character sings something, or there are like quotes from songs ur fanfics are based on lol

(he also demanded to hear what they actually sound like from you, yes, you have to sing them for him lol)

Venti also can surprisingly drunkenly ramble the entirety of at least one of ur stories, like, word for word lmao

(Diluc gave in and did give him a drink on the house for that one, just once, Venti doesn’t remember it lol)

(I forgot to mention, u guys still speak the same language, just like, different versions of it)

ur works being one of the few things all the Archons can freely talk about with each other, like it’s neutral ground bc they’re all fangirling about it lmao

Furina and Neuvillette have had like,, fierce debates over the decades about character dynamics and the general drama of ur stories, they’ve gotten into it enough they’ve stopped talking to each other for a couple days a few times lol

Albedo, Sucrose, Kokomi, Yae Miko, Ei, Raiden, have read every single work they’re gotten their hands on in Teyvat (it took them like a literal year or longer)

Albedo drew you fanart for every single story, bc he’s hyperfixated on everything related to you ngl,

Kokomi had commissioned smaller pocket versions of ur works (which later got popular thanks to Yae Miko) both the OG and the Teyvat shortened versions

THE HARBINGERS ARE THE MOST DOWN BAD LMAO

Childe has literally tried to recreate battle scenes from ur works lmao

and gets especially riled up about fighting someone who resembles any characters from them (esp villains, what a cutie)

You cannot fathom the amount of research throughout Teyvat that has been secretly or indirectly funded by Pantalone/Tsaritsa

from the experts to analyze them, to funding play companies to act them out, to actually excavating places to get more of ur stuff unearthed

(the Harbingers absolutely are the first group of people that got to read several of ur stories first bc of this, like the world’s most exclusive secret book club lol)

Scaramouche used to clown on Childe all the time about how he was too impatient to even “sit down and read the King’s classics”, and he was downright insufferable when he found out about Tartaglia’s habit of recreating battle scenes/that being what motivated him to fight sometimes lol

that being said, Wanderer surprisingly never forgot ur stories.

Even when his memories were wiped for a bit, he found comfort in these fantastical epics still sticking around, even when his old names did not

(he mayyyy or mayyy nottt have secretly namedhimselfafteroneofthetragicprotagonistsherelatesto- )

oh btw, Nahida also found joy and comfort in ur stories when she was trapped, they also helped her literally grow as a person bc she had ur stories to help her sort of process the world/what life was like outside of her dreaming prison 🥺💔❤️‍🩹

◇

OMFG

ANYWAY FULL TONE SHIFT LMFAO-

the ABSOLUTE SPIRAL-RED-STRING-CONSPIRACY-THEORY-BOARD ENERGY IF THIS WAS A BLUNT LANGUAGE AU LMAOOOO

like specifically how Teyvatians like to give all the context ever thru their words, but older deities/beings like you just do simple phrases that can have deeper meanings (whereas teyvat just explains all the meanings behind their words)

STOP there’s like an official display at the Akademiya and Fontaine Institute of red string theory boards 😭😭 (look what you’ve done to themmm LMAO)

for like every story of urs, INCLUDING THE FANFICS STOP

IMAGINE THE SHIPPING WARS IF U EVER WROTE ONE THAT WASNT EXPLICIT OR LIKE ONE OF THE MAIN ROMANTIC INTERESTS HAD CHEMISTRY WITH OTHER CHARACTERS HAHAHAHAA

that's actually what Akademiya scholars argue about the most viciously, it’s like politics you can’t just bring up ships from ur stories casually in regular convos 💀

(poor Cyno has to deal with a shipping war once a year bc someone always makes the mistake of reading ur work for the first time (without being told to not talk to others abt ships lol) and it starts an all out brawl in the cafeteria every time LMAO)

Also yes.

Cyno is a fanboy.

(he has read Creator x Reader-insert fanfiction.)

(As have most of the characters mentioned, and those not lol)

…

(I'm gonna make a whole Creator x reader fanfic post one day i stg lmao)

☆

an iced coffee? for me?? :0

ok but real talk…

wtf do you guys wanna see for new years!!

i didn't do a inktober/october days thingy bc i felt too unprepared (and bc id wanted to post that 1000+ followers eldritch au for Halloween)

but now i kinda wanna, at least for a few days :o

ill post a poll in a minute, so check it out!! but still, please feel free to comment some ideas here! :)

Safe Travels Deafening Dreamer,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily

[utilitycaster]

okay sorry i’m not a Lore Person but is the beginning of downfall the start of the Calamity? why are they falling out of the sky like what is it that’s happening at the start? would you mind giving me like a suuuuper simple timeline? like just a list of events in order to the best of ur knowledge? u seem to know a lot about the lore and i really enjoy ur posts :)

Hi anon, sure! Here is a rough timeline of Downfall and some of the Calamity events we know:

The opening of Downfall is a telling of how the gods came to Exandria, and is new information to us as the viewers - the lore is out there indicating the gods were not originally from Exandria, but this shows that they were once eternal and infinite beings of light whose home and many of the others of their kind were destroyed by nothingness (very possibly Predathos) and who, in fleeing that danger, were forced into the concrete, physical forms of the gods as they are now. They then crash-landed on Exandria, where the Primordial Titans lived.

We then flash forward within the episode to about a century into the Calamity, and the rest of the episode takes place then. To back up into some key events (this is extremely high level and noncomprehensive, so lore people who are reading this, do not @ me if I like, don't cover the Luxon or Alyxian and so forth because at this point they're not particularly relevant to the Downfall story, but if I get something totally incorrect let me know.)

The Founding: Sometime after crash-landing the gods create mortals (elves, humans, etc). It's unclear what the primordials are doing at this time. The gods also give people divine magics. (This info is specifically from sourcebooks and a retelling of it episode 1x43 by Highbearer Vord; we haven't actually seen this play out)

The Creation of Ruidus: After quite some time - mortals had already built civilizations - Predathos came to Exandria and ate two of the gods, Ethedok and Vordo, as well as created its own forms of mortal life. The gods sealed Predathos away in Ruidus and tried to send it away, but it remained as a moon (Retold in episode 3x43 by Planerider Ryn from texts from Vasselheim; plenty of other explorations of this in C3).

The Schism: The titans rose up against the mortals (precise reasons why unclear; this is all from various retellings including 1x43 and the sourcebooks) and the gods split in what they felt they should do: The Prime Deities (all good or neutral aligned) believed they had an obligation to their mortal creations and should assist them. The Betrayer Gods (all evil aligned) believed they should let the titans kill everyone and they (the gods) all should leave. When the Prime Deities would not leave, this led to the Schism. The Prime Deities granted the mortals arcane magic, which (per the sourcebooks) they used to destroy or seal the titans and seal away the Betrayer Gods as well. Two titans, Rau'shan and Ka'Mort, were sealed in Mount Ygora on Domunas, which later became Avalir and Cathmoíra.

The Age of Arcanum: Human civilization flourished and developed technologically. This is when the flying cities like Aeor and Avalir were created. At some point during this time, the Tree of Names was created to protect the world from extraplanar threats (though it is implied through Loquatius's presence in EXU Calamity that the Feywild had a pass or something). About 130 years prior to the start of the Calamity, the Raven Queen used the Rites of Ascension to assume the station of the former god of death, destroying him and his name in the process (though we do now know that when he was an eternal being of light he was called Nahal!). (Info from sourcebooks and EXU Calamity)

The events of EXU Calamity: Vespin Chloras, a wizard, hoped to replace or reform Asmodeus as the Raven Queen had replaced the god of death, but in trying to do so unsealed all the Betrayers. He became a thrall of Asmodeus. The Betrayers were prevented from entering the world via the Tree of Names, but they developed and were able to communicate this plan to both destroy the Tree of Names and release the sealed titans in Mount Ygora, and had followers begin building a stronghold in Ghor Dranas (eventually to be reclaimed as Rosohna in the Kryn Dynasty, post-Calamity). I highly recommend watching EXU Calamity if you haven't, because it's very good, but essentially, this plan begins to go into motion, and is particularly successful due to various forms of corruption and hubris among the Ring of Brass in Avalir (and like, a lot of other people in Avalir). This begins the Calamity, but total annihilation is avoided because Laerryn Coramar-Seelie is able to redirect the Astral Leywright, which she had hoped to use for extraplanar travel, into instead sending Rau'shan and Ka'Mort across the planes. Avalir is destroyed as is the continent it came from, Domunas, in the southern hemisphere. Domunas becomes the Shattered Teeth archipelago. The ash from this destruction covers the skies for at least a hundred years. A war between the Primes and the Betrayers, who still want to destroy everyone, spanning the entire world, begins.

Between EXU Calamity and the part in Downfall set in Hawk's Hill: This spans about a hundred years. As mentioned, the sky is covered with ash; there is an implied worldwide famine. The only major flying city remaining, by 100 years in, is Aeor (note: Campaign 2 states that Zemniaz, where Halas is from, was still around after Aeor so either Matt and Brennan forgot, Halas is lying, or Zemniaz just isn't very important or powerful) The events of the Calamity are many and there's not a ton of information re: the order, so I'll just link you to the wiki's Chronology for further reading (with the caveat there that again, the order is speculative) but we do know from 3x99/Downfall Part One that Asmodeus's slaughter of followers of The Everlight occurred early in the Calamity as it's already happened. At some point in the Calamity, the gods all realized Aeor had developed the Obtenebrator, which hid them from any scrying/divine spying, as well as the Latimus Princeps which prevented the gods from coming to Aeor. They called a truce between each other (though I think their armies still fought) and formulated a plan for six of the Betrayers and seven of the Primes to be somehow born as mortals (in a way that seems reminiscent of how the Dynasty's consecution works!) so they could infiltrate; some communication also occurred with the gods staying on the outside. Ioun/The Knowing Mistress was the first person in, and her mortal form is Arcadia Cerenvetorix. She learned of Aeor's plans to create something to kill the gods (Factorum Malleus), and sent visions to the others calling them to their mission.

Downfall Part One: Trist is The Everlight; Ayden is the Dawnfather; Emhira is the Raven Queen; and Asha is the Wildmother. SILAHA deviated a little from the plan and was born as an Aeormaton in Aeor already, but joins the others. The Lawbearer (The Wildmother's partner) also deviated from the plan and sent The Emissary instead. They all, as we see in the episode, make it to Aeor in these mortal forms. The Betrayers meanwhile only sent four; Milo Cowst is Asmodeus, and while we don't have hard confirmation yet, it's heavily implied that Zaharzt is Torog (god of torture); Tishar is Gruumsh (god of destruction); and Umleta is Lolth (the Spider Queen). They begin the main part of their mission: to in some way neutralize the Factorum Malleus, Obtenebrator, and Latimus Princeps (and additionally the Eravox Protocol first, a contingency protocol that sends the plans for the Factorum around the world if Aeor is attacked directly).

After Downfall: we'll find out precisely how Aeor ends up crashed into the arctic above Wildemount in Downfall parts 2 and 3, but it does; many people end up in stasis bubbles as seen in Campaigns 2 and 3. The Calamity continues on for an unspecified but significant time; towards the end, Ludinus Da'leth experiences an unknown trauma that sets him on his path. At the end of the Calamity, the Prime Deities seal themselves and the Betrayers all behind the Divine Gate, which shares similarities with how they sealed away Predathos, though permits some degree of indirect influence and communication with their followers (vs. however the Betrayers were sealed originally during the age of arcanum, which did not). This is called the Divergence, and the current era is Post-Divergence. The main campaigns of Critical Role begin about 800 years Post-Divergence.

[tightjeansjavi]

The Rite of Movement | drabble

“Daddy’s not bluffing, baby love”

A/N: you know you’re super dedicated when you find yourself at home ✨practicing✨ just so that the smut makes sense and is easy to visualize 👹 and just when I thought that Joel and baby love couldn’t get any nastier…😮‍💨 oh, and just in case anyone gets confused with the addition of Ellie, this is after she’s adopted (spoilers, but not really bc she’s Joel’s kid in every universe let’s be real)

~word count: 2.0k~

Summary: Ellie is away at Dina’s for the weekend leaving you and Joel with the house completely to yourselves

Pairing | pornstar!joel x pornstar!female reader

Warnings: smut, established relationship. reader and Joel are pornstars, Joel is in his 40’s reader is in her 30’s, big ole fat daddy kink, fingering, unprotected piv, big dom energy from Joel, baby love is acting like brat, sexual punishment, spanking, degrading language but it’s hot, okay?, use of slut, brat, etc, semi-public sex, voyerism (Tommy), language, mentions of alcohol, Ellie exists in this universe!!, reader has no physical descriptions, readers nickname is baby love, +18 minors dni!

series masterlist

Ellie was away for the weekend with Dina and her family leaving you and Joel with the house completely to yourselves…which was a rare occurrence these days.

You and Joel have since then moved the home studio back to the Miller-Co office. You aren’t doing much filming these days, anyway. This was a mutual decision, and this also gave Tommy the opportunity to show Joel that he could handle the business on his own come the day that you and Joel would eventually retire. But with Ellie gone for the weekend, you and Joel had the time to relax and that’s how you found yourselves spending the morning by the pool.

Joel was comfortably laying poolside, cheaters perched on his nose that was buried in the book he was reading that Ellie had recommended to him. Artemis was laying by his feet, bathing in the sun while you were lounging in the pool. You had discarded your bikini top to the pool's edge to avoid any tan lines while you were lounging on your stomach along one of the extremely comfortable, and extra durable inflatables.

Artemis had grown curious of the water as she watched you float by, and before Joel could stop her, she hopped down from the chair and trotted over to the pool's edge. She was an agile little thing, having no problem jumping right onto your bare back and curling up against your warm, sunbathed skin.

Joel shook his head, muttering under his breath as he reached for his phone so he could take a picture while you reached one hand behind your back to give her a few gentle pets.

He posted the photo to his instagram with the caption: my two sun babies 🌞💓

Ellie had texted the family group chat immediately when she saw the photo:

I hope you’re disinfecting the pool before I get home 🙄

Joel: shouldn’t you be off your phone and paying attention to Dina, kiddo? 🤔

Ellie: u text like an old man lol

Baby Love: lol. He does

Tommy: where was my invite?

Joel: I do not text like an old man 😡

-to Tommy: inappropriate

Ellie: do too 🤭

Tommy: inappropriate that I wanna come over and swim?? Get ur head out of the gutter lol

Joel: do not

Baby Love: you’re not gonna win this one, baby.

Ellie: see, even mom agrees!

Joel: there’s too many gals in this household 🙄

Ellie: yea, man! Ur outnumbered lol

Joel: don’t I know it

Tommy: I’m coming over

Joel: no you’re not

Baby Love: can you bring a case of Modelo’s?

Ellie: I don’t think Tommy knows what those are lol

Joel: how would you know what those are? 👀

Ellie: did I say something?

Tommy: why can’t u just be normal and drink Coors Lite lol

Joel: don’t start gaslighting me young lady

Baby Love: because unlike u, I have taste

Ellie: ooooh burn

Tommy: ouch 😓 I thought we were friends!

Joel: 😒

Ellie: I’m more of a Modelo gal myself

Joel: ELLIE

Baby Love: that’s my girl!

-to Tommy: we are friends 🩷 you just have shit taste in beer

Joel: where are u getting beer from

Ellie: that’s none of your beeswax

Joel: Ellie Miller, I will ground your ass so fast the second you get home

Baby Love: it was me. I’m the culprit

Tommy: I don’t forgive u

Ellie: don’t punish mom! She said I can drink as long as I’m safe 😇

Tommy: lol I’m not coming over, I changed my mind!

Baby Love: but my Modelos :(

Joel to Baby Love in a private chat:

“Who the fuck do you think you’re callin’ a pussy?!” He growled from the chair, completely sitting up now with his legs swung over the side just as you quickly tucked your phone underneath your left boob and looked over your shoulder at him with a faux innocent expression on your face.

“I am, pussy.”

“Wanna say that a third time?” He challenged you, standing up with his hands planted on his hips as he approached the edge of the pool. Even Artemis sensed the tension rise so she quickly hopped off your back as soon as the raft was close to the pool's ledge.

“Artie.” You frowned, “come back. Daddy’s only messing! He’s not actually gonna do anything!” You grabbed your phone from under your boob and carefully placed it on the pools ledge so it wouldn’t get wet, and just as you were about to push the raft back to the middle of the pool to float away, Joel hand crouched down and grabbed ahold of the corner of the raft, yanking you towards him.

“I said, wanna say that a third time?” He snipped.

Oh he’s mad now, alright.

You let out a huff, rolling over onto your back so your bare tits were on full display with your arms languidly crossed behind your head as you peered up at him through your sunglasses, smirk plastered on your pretty lips, “daddy’s a pussy and he’s not gonna do anything about it.” You chimed.

“Fuckin’ little brat.” He muttered as he pushed your raft away from the ledge before he dove in underneath it.

You quickly flipped over onto your stomach, pathetically attempting to paddle away just as he resurfaced with his face inches away from your dangling ankles. You let out a playful squeal when he nibbles on your calf as his big hands and broad arms easily slide up your thighs, thumbs looping through the flimsy strings that are barely holding your bikini bottoms together. Even in the deep end of the pool, Joel is standing, more like…looming over the raft and casting a dark shadow over your bare back.

“Don’t think ya heard me the first time, baby love.” He rasps, yanking your bikini bottoms down swiftly over your ass and thighs, “said that you had ‘bout five seconds to take these flimsy ass bikini bottoms off before I did it for you.” He tuts, grasping the outside of your thighs as he pulls you further down the length of the raft as if you’re just a measly rag doll. “And then what do ya do?” He asks, not needing a response.

“You call me a fuckin’ pussy.” He bends over, harshly biting at your left cheek, leaving visible indentations in your skin from his canines, “slutty little brat my girl is, hmm?” He teases, biting down on the right cheek as you let out a squeal.

He pulls back, marveling at his work before he brings the palm of his hand down against the meatiest part of your left cheek hard enough to send your back arching in surprise. He watches your plush skin recoil before he does it again, and then the same to the right cheek.

“I’m—I’m sorry, daddy! You aren’t a pussy! Not even close to being one!”

“You ain't sorry, baby love. Cus’ this is what you wanted all along, right? Wanted your daddy to come in here and teach his bratty little slut a lesson? Well, your wish is comin’ true!” He chuckles, using his thumbs to spread your cheeks apart before he spits a glob of saliva between them, watching it drool and drip between your ass and thighs. “Show me your fuckin’ pussy, baby love. Be a good girl now for daddy.”

“Yes, daddy.” You mewled, “you got me. It was my plan all along.” you suppress a giggle, lifting yourself up on your elbows as you spread your thighs apart, arching your back further so he had a clear and direct view of your pussy. “You gonna give my pussy a kiss daddy? I’m really sorry.” He doesn’t need to see your face to know that you’re pouting.

He scoffs, dropping his hands down from your ass to spread you open further. He intently watches the way your little hole pulses under his harsh stare, begging for any form of stimulation. “You think I’m gonna give your pussy a kiss, baby love? Think you deserve that?” He snickers, leaning in to drag his nose right through your slick folds, inhaling deeply before he pulls back, “think you oughta just take whatever daddy fuckin’ gives ya, sweet girl.”

“Oh, fuck.” You whimpered, dropping your head between your shoulders, “Daddy, please. I’m so sorry for calling you a pussy! I’ll—I’ll never do it again, I swear!”

“Hush up, baby love. Quit your whinin’ and take what daddy fuckin’ gives you.” He growled. It was a miracle that even with his added weight to the float, the damn thing didn’t pop from the pressure as he wasted no time to slip two of his thick fingers inside of your pussy till they were knuckle deep with his palm pressing flat between the apex of your thighs. You felt the weight of his chest and shoulders pressing into your back while his fingers shallowly thrusted inside of you at a merciless pace, scissoring you open with each thrust, creating ripples in the water below the raft.

O—oh—oh fuck! Fuck! Fuccck!” You cried out, lurching forward as his fingers pistoned inside of you, “daddy, please! Please! I’m sorry!” Your eyes rolled back in your skull when he crooks his fingers, curling them against the spongy spot inside of you that has you seeing spots of stars cloud your vision.

He’s leaned over you completely now in a possessive manner. His lips at your ear, teeth nipping and biting anywhere they can, “if you’re a good fuckin’ slut for daddy, maybe he’ll reward you with his cock, because you and I both know that’s what my girl wants is her daddy’s thick cock splittin’ her in fuckin’ half. Ain’t that right, baby love?”

“YES!” You yelled, voice strained and on the verge of cracking as you started to roll your hips back against his hand, meeting the harsh thrusts of his fingers just as the back gate opened—

“Hey! I brought the Modelos—OH FUCK!” Tommy yelled in surprise, nearly dropping the case of beer in his arms at the sight of you coming undone around Joel’s fingers.

“GOD DAMMIT, TOMMY! I FUCKIN’ SAID YOU COULDN’T COME OVER!” Joel snapped, thrusting his fingers faster as he briefly glanced over his shoulder at his brother, “can’t ya damn well see I’m a little busy punishin’ my girl for bein’ a fuckin’ brat?!”

You weakly waved in Tommy’s direction, before completely giving into the pleasure with a blissed out look plastered on your face, “pass me one of those when we’re done! I’m parched!”

“Yeah, you’re fuckin’ parched alright.” Joel growled against your ear.

“Some things never change, ain’t that right Artie?” Tommy snickered as he attempted to crouch down and pet her, but she hissed and swatted at his hand.

“TOMMY!” Joel snapped, using his freehand to push his swim trunks over his hips so that he could replace his fingers with his cock. “Make yourself useful and gimme one of those beers, would ya!” He spit into his palm as his cock sprang free and slapped up against his stomach. He gave the base of his cock a few quick pumps before he slipped his fingers out of you, your pussy made a wet squelching noise as he slowly fed you his cock, inch by inch, stretching you open till he was bottomed out with his hips firmly pressed against your ass. The float had deflated considerably, but man, it was a trooper.

Tommy walked over, beer in hand, doing his best to not smirk at the scene unfolding before him as he held the beer out in Joel’s direction. “What did she do this time?” He mused.

Joel snatched the beer from his hand, twisting the cap off with his teeth before he took a swig, bringing his freehand down against your ass.

“I called him—fuck.” You moaned deeply, lip harshly taken between your teeth when he stretched you open. God, did you love your man’s cock.

“She called me a fuckin’ pussy.” Joel snapped his hips forward with his hand acting as an anchor around your hip. He took another swig from the bottle, blunt fingernails digging into your skin, “now fuck yourself on daddy’s cock like the good little slut that you are, baby love.”

Banners made by lovely @saradika-graphics 💘

Follow @tightjeansjaviupdates for fic updates and notifications

[amongussexgif]

Howdy folks. I’ve said I’d make a rant about this for a while. It’s time.

Let’s start with the basics. Mesopomatia is the earliest known human civilization. Humans existed before them, but this was the first “city”. They also made the first writing. This rant also kinda covers Sumerian tuff, because the two groups had a bit of a merging.

You know what transgenderism is. You’re on tumblr dot com. Chances are you are a transgenderist yourself

Transphobes often say that transgenderism is a “new concept” and that “nobody was trans 20 years ago”. For the record, you don’t have to go as far back as Mesopotamia. There’s Greece, Egypt, Hawaii, and tons of others I fail to remember. But yeah, we date back to The First City.

The First People believed in many gods, one of which you’ve likely heard of. Today’s subject: Inanna/Ishtar, The Queen of Heaven (I’ll be calling her Inanna, as it’s her original name). She was the goddess of Sex, War, and Justice. The most notable things she was believed to do were changing people’s genders and being an absolute queen. Like fr she slayed-

Anyways, the “transgender power” as I’m gonna call it because it's funny, is well documented in poetry fragments, with the direct quote “To turn a man into a woman and a woman into a man are yours, Inanna.” This was written by Enheduanna, Inanna’s High Priestess from Ur (Ur is a city).

Speaking of Inanna’s Priests and Priestesses, they were actually known for their androgyny. Poems and Dedications to Inanna often included them, with the direct depiction of the goddess transfer-ify-ing them. It’s unknown if these and the Gala are the same priests, so I’ll add a little space and talk about them for a bit.

The Gala were priestesses for Inanna created by the god Enki (who is really fuckign cool for non-trans reasons (might talk about him sometime)) to sing for her. Mourning Rites previously sung by women got taken over by the Gala, and as men joined, they adopted ALL societal roles and expectations of women, switching to female names and singing in the Sumerian eme-sal dialect, which was reserved for women trying to render the speech of female gods. The Gala looked after the sick and poor, and were highly respected by the rest of the Mesopotamian peoples.

Time to talk about the Pilipili! They were a group of cultic performers who worshiped Inanna, with the name coming from a person named Pilipili. They were raised as a woman (according to Mesopotamia’s gender roles), and were blessed by Inanna and given the name Pilipili. Inanna gave them a spear, an item associated very heavily with masculinity “as if she were a man” and they are only referred to as “The Transformed Pilipili” from that point on. “Spear'' is also thought to have phallic meaning here, which is even more directly saying that Inanna trans’ed Pilipili’s gender.

How about we move beyond the cult on Inanna now? A statue (or technically statuette but honestly whatever) found in the city of Mari depicts a singing woman. But wait! The name of the depicted person is “Ur-Nanshe”, a masculine name! This might mean nothing, but honestly, you’d assume transgenderism too if you met a woman named Steven. The statue has a soft face with traces of makeup, and it’s got tiddies!

A statue in the British museum (which for the record should not be in there. give it back) has a label translated as “Hermaphrodite of Inanna”. Hermaphrodite has a different meaning now, which a different translator, Cheryl Morgan, recognized, stating that “person-man-woman” would be more accurate. We don’t know specifics about their gender, but clearly this was a person outside of the gender binary who was not only significant enough to have a statue of them made, but also assumedly well-liked!

So, to summarize, Ancient Mesopotamia viewed genderqueer individuals as:

often blessed by the Queen of Heaven

transgender-ify-ed by said Queen of Heaven

well respected enough to be priests

said cult of trans priests was also said to be made by another god in devotion to Inanna

significant and well-liked enough to have statues of them

sounds like we should take some notes from our ancestors, huh?

[whencyclopedia]

The Death of Ur-Nammu

The Death of Ur-Nammu is a Sumerian lament over the passing of the king Ur-Nammu (r. 2047-2030 BCE), founder of the Third Dynasty of Ur, who was killed in battle fighting the Gutians in 2030 BCE. The poem is frequently cited for its depiction of a great banquet in the underworld, usually described as dark and silent.

Even so, the image of the realm of the afterlife is still far from pleasant as, "the food of the underworld is bitter, the water of the underworld is brackish" (lines 83-84; Black, 59) and the soul is aware of what has been lost and the grief of those left behind on earth but can do nothing to change its fate or comfort the mourners. The soul is completely self-aware and completely powerless once it has descended to the realm of Ereshkigal, Queen of the Dead, and this understanding of the afterlife contributed, in part, to the belief in ghosts in ancient Mesopotamia: some souls, in trying to assert their autonomy, would escape and return to the world of the living.

The poem, also known as The Death of Ur-Namma and The Death of Ur-Nammu and His Descent to the Underworld, dates from the reign of Ur-Nammu's son and successor, Shulgi of Ur (2029-1982 BCE), and may have been performed as part of the funerary rites. Scholar Samuel Noah Kramer notes that many of the details of the funeral in lines 31-42 no doubt reflect actual practices, and a performance of a lament for a fallen king would not have been out of place.

An especially interesting aspect of the piece is the depiction of the gods and Ur-Nammu's charge that he was betrayed by them. He trusted the most powerful of the gods, Anu (An) and Enlil to protect him but, instead, they let him die on the battlefield. His personal protector, the goddess Inanna, seems to have been purposefully sent away on an errand to distract her, and when she returns, she is outraged. There is no reason given for the gods' decision to withdraw their protection from the king who has always faithfully served them, leaving the question of why good people suffer and die unanswered.

Summary

Lines 1-75 describe Ur-Nammu's death and funeral including the gods' reaction in lines 8-14 where Enki, the god of wisdom shuts the door of Eridug (Eridu) and Utu, the sun god refuses to light the day. The city of Ur is given as Urim where the king's body is brought from the battlefield. Lines 76-197 describe his soul's descent to the underworld, the gifts he brings to the gods associated with the afterlife, like the hero Gilgamesh and Nergal, consort of Ereshkigal, and the great banquet held in his honor.

Lines 155-197 give Ur-Nammu's lament for his life and this transitions to Inanna's rage at finding he has passed to the underworld and the gods' reaction in lines 198-233. The poem concludes with praise to the god Ningiszida, a vegetation and underworld deity who was the son of Ninazu, the god of transition to the afterlife and transformation. The last lines, which are fragmentary, are thought to be appealing to Ningiszida to comfort the soul of Ur-Nammu amidst his tears and lamentation.

Continue reading...

[kooberryfields4ever]

of course first post has to be nsfw blog rite of passage…… my take on the nsfw alphabet :3 gonna go thru and edit a bunch of fics to start posting but until then have this !!!!! been thinking long and hard abt heeseung&02z …….. needed to get this off my chest rly

content warnings : major nsfw under the cut, cumplay, masturbation, piv sex, etc etc

MDNI !

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

i don’t see heeseung as swaying particularly dominant/submissive…… not necessarily vanilla but almost lazy in the way he has sex so i don’t see aftercare being a big deal to him

ofc expect the bare minimum: cleans u up, helps change the sheets, kisses n cuddles

heavy on the cleans them up.. ..… …. can’t help but think abt how much heeseung LOVES to see his partner covered in his cum, whether he finishes on ur chest, ur belly, ur thighs or ur pussy doesn’t matter to him he just loves to see it🤤🤤🤤….. .. … so yeah cleaning u up is a necessity almost every time

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

fav part of himself is his hands…… do i even need to elaborate

just loves touching his partner and why else would he find any other body part as good as his hands when his other body parts can’t grab a handful of ur tits/ass ????

fav part of his partner’s is drum roll plz………….. their tummy

when he’s eating u out he just can’t help but reach out n press his fingers into ur hips n his thumb into ur belly….. .. though he loves to cum anywhere on u his all time favourite is ur tummy, could get him hard again easily if he sees his cum pooling in and around ur bellybutton urrtgghhhhg

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

i literally cannot see heeseung not loving cumplay . like come on

self-admitted jealous type ……… yeah it’s over ur getting painted with his cum and fucked full if u even so much as mention another man

messy with it, loves cumming inside but give him the opportunity to pull out and finish somewhere he can rly see it and it’s a done deal

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

watches league of legends porn . it’s miss fortune …. not elaborating.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

i reckon he’s experienced enough to know what goes where and all that ….. would probs be able to be vocal abt what he likes

i can’t see him getting much time in his schedule to explore his sexuality much so count jacking off and enjoying subgenres of porn as a pillar for experience as well

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

missionary DONT YAWN. just loves being able to bury his head in ur tits and fuck u slow and hard until he cums … and then guess what ……. ur tummy is right there

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

i’d say he can be a bit of a goofball, i don’t see him taking sex too seriously

not necessarily the type to just crack jokes during but not opposed to having a giggle if one of u makes a silly noise or if someone walks in

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

trims but isn’t too fussed about it really, makes him feel manly when he sees his full bush. occasional groomer of the pubes

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

can be super romantic if he rly rly misses u but idk i don’t see heeseung as the sentimental romantic type much…… likes sex cos it feels good and its an excuse to look at ur tits

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

frequent enough . he is a libra after all

probs the type to get a bit bored on his day off and have a wank after going 3/11 on a league game

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

cum cum cum cum cum cum cum

like idk heeseung seems sooo messy to me during sex like if he eats u out he wants to see u dripping onto the sheets nd i don’t need to mention the cumming on ur body thing again ….

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

his bed, he likes it best when ur both a little tired but too horny to sleep so he can just push ur panties to the side and slip in to fuck u slow until ur cumming around him

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

ur boobies . whether they’re out or under a shirt or small or big he just loves seeing them…. plays with ur nipples while u scroll on ur phone in bed, maybe pulls up ur shirt n sucks on them until he makes himself too horny to stop n he has to fuck u (and paint ur tits white)

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

anything too public … likes having u to himself and when ur in the privacy of his bedroom/dorm he gets to make u all dirty, he can’t do that without getting arrested in public unfortunately ://

probs hard dom stuff …. maybe not too shy for a spank here and there but the idea of being rly dominant or degrading u or tying u up etc is just not for him

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

loves receiving, he gets to cum on ur face and tits which is always a bonus👍

not a selfish lover but definitely gets bored of giving head sometimes …. thinks quite literally with his dick like he needs to see it stuffed in u

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

i think heeseung is generally slow and sensual but if u asked he could fuck u faster n harder

he just loves how u clench when his strokes r slow and deep nd he can press against ur cervix without bruising u and ruining the fun

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

quickies are not his forté ! he’s definitely not opposed to them but he prefers being able to take his time…. quickies mean sensible cumming and heeseung would rather wait…..

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

i cannot see him as a risk taker at all, riskiest he would go is having u bounce on his cock in the living room while nobody else is home, but even then he’s just thinking abt how close his bedroom is and how easy it’d be to pick u up while ur impaled on his dick nd take u to bed :((

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

a sturdy 2 rounds if u guys haven’t fucked for a little while, he’s still young his refractory period is in training !!!!

particularly statistically more likely to want a round 2 if he’s a) not tired and b) can see his cum plastered somewhere on ur body (source is my thalamus) …… drives him crazy nd makes him almost desperate to fill u up as well

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

got gifted a fleshlight one time for his birthday but it’s just stayed tucked away in his wardrobe…. tried it once and it was just not as good as the real deal

would be open to using a toy on u for the sole reason that it might make u squirt and he is desperate to see u get that messy

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

gives in instantly . u just need to whip out a titty and he is a goner…. very very weak willed man…..

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

main vocalist like …. do i need to say more

prettiest softest moans uve ever heard ….. breathing into ur chest and whispering how close he is and how bad he needs to fill u up into ur ear

not loud enough for anyone but u to hear tho…. but that’s fine bc u like being able to have him all to urself ^.^

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

can picture him getting randomly horny while playing games while u lay on his bed …. pulls off his headphones to face u and asks u so nicely to come suck his cock while he plays … and of course u do because how could u say no to that face :(( he ends up losing his lane and going afk at base because he’s too busy watching u swallow his entire length like a pro . sorry to his team but the 15 minute afk ban was so worth it

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

not huge but not small, average

a good 5.5 with some juicy balls

circumcised 🙏

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

pretty high but not in the way that its hard to control …… like he just kind of just always wants u

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

after he cleans u up he’s out like a light …… good luck tryna get him to wake up

just accept that ur tits are his pillow for the next 7 hours as he sleeps

[skyof-atlas]

Insufferable girl - Hu Tao x gn!reader

A/N: I was semi-high writing this..ur so welcome. Also i drew smth :D (not smut)

rating: 18+ (minors and men dni)

Warnings: afab!reader, fingering, eating out, sub!reader, dom!hutao, overstim, dumb fucked, fucking with rings on, aphrodisiac usage...thats all i think/

You were making your daily deliveries around Liyue after finishing the new batches of medicine. 

It was a busy day in Liyue as everyone was getting ready for the Lantern rite this year. You swerve and slip by people to drop off your final delivery. 

You suddenly bumped into someone slightly shorter than you. 

“Aiya! oh! My dear apothecary, lovely running into you here.” She slightly smirked and looked at you up and down. 

You mentally cursed at yourself for not being more aware and bumping into the one person you didn’t want to see.

You have a history with Hu Tao. It really started back when Zhongli introduced both of you and hit it off really well until you started developing feelings for her. It made it really hard for you to speak to her and be around her, especially when she was so touchy. 

Your eyes trained down to hers and you gave an awkward smile. 

“H-Hu Tao! What a surprise! Unfortunately I don’t have any time to catch up. I have to finish these deliveries.” You quickly spurt out your words stumbling over some words. She seemed unconvinced because she raised her eyebrow at that. 

“Awww how unfortunate. I was really hoping we could hang out and maybe I could buy you some Tanghulu.”

Oh she was trying to bride you…and it was working. 

“T-Tanghulu? I mean..I guess— NO- sorry I really have to finish these deliveries…maybe later?” She had a sly smirk and something mischievous behind her eyes, but you didn’t notice due to lack of eye contact. 

“I’ll go with you!” She grabbed your hand and practically dragged you to your last delivery quickly. 

earlier that week

“Aiyaaaa~ I wonder why y/n is constantly busyyy. They shouldn’t have so many orders right???!” Hu Tao complained to Yanfei as both of them sat down at a table. 

“They are? I just saw them yesterday and we chatted..” Yanfei smiled because she knew what was going on.

“Ah? Yanfei…please do explain.” Hu Tao smiled creepily.

“You’ll just have to find out yourself.” Yanfei smiled and shrugged. She didn’t further disclose anything else about you and let Hu Tao figure it out.

—————

After finishing that last delivery and getting paid, Hu Tao brought you to a Tanghulu stand and bought you some. 

Oh how much you loved your sweets! 

And oh how you loved her—

“It’s been so long since we’ve hung out, Y/N!” 

“Ah, yes. I’ve been extremely busy delivering medicine and gathering..” you said finishing my Tanghulu with a smile. Hu Tao smiled.

“What a shameee! I missed your cute face! It’s so boring without you now” She said, dragging you around town to take a walk. You followed her around and talked.

It felt like hours of chatting with her. You missed this with her. You both stop once you reach the parlor. 

“You wanna come in? I can make some tea! I Just ordered a new batch.” She asked you with a sweet smile. How could you refuse.

“Sure!”  what could go wrong?

———————

She placed down a cup of tea in front of you and smiled. You thanked her and picked up the cup and sipped it. 

“Oh! Isn't this tea from Qiaoying village? I always love visiting and buying tea.” You drank some more, practically chugging it. 

“I just ordered a bunch, I’ll get you some more!” She picked up your cup and went to serve you more. 

You waited and looked around, noticing a photo of both of you on the wall near the door. 

Goosebumps covered your arm and neck. The air became stuffy and your clothes felt tight. Why did everything feel so stuffy and hot? 

“H-Hu tao? What was in the tea?” You nervously asked. She walked back into the room with the box. You were fanning yourself and rubbed your legs together profoundly. 

“Hm? I was told it was a mixture of green tea and ginkgo.” She said leaning against the door frame.

“Ginkgo? You gave me an aphrodisiac?– ngh–!” A sudden heat wash over your body and your hand clenched the couch. Your core was beating and soaked. Your breaths were heavy and you looked at Hu Tao with half lidded eyes, begging. 

She took her sweet time walking over to you, bending down to face you. 

“Oh wow! You look really red my dear.” She placed a hand on my cheek and smiled. “Burning hot..” 

“Hu Tao…please..” The last of your pride was thrown out. Fuck it. 

“Please what love?” 

You grabbed her hand and brought it down to your clothed cunt. 

“Fuck me. Please.” You stripped your clothes down and spread your legs like a literal dog in heat. Hu Tao did not hesitate to spread your folds and rub circles on your clit. She had to restrain herself from not fucking you right now. She wanted to play for a bit. 

You sloppy kissed her and bucked your hips looking for some type of friction. It felt like hours of biting and kisses before she paid attention to your soaked cunt. Her fingers slid right in without any trouble. 

“Hu Tao! R-Rin-gs…cold..” Oh her rings were still on. But she wasn’t gonna take it off. Cold and hot go together after all. 

“You can take it pretty.” She began pumping in her fingering, slightly curving at an angle trying to find that spot. After a few ins and out she found it and you moaned and cummed. 

“Already? But I’m not done yet.” She continued pumping her fingers, abusing your plushy inside. Your hips bucked and you were clawing her back due to the immense pleasure you were receiving. 

Strings of moans and whines filled the room as you were ready to cum again for the second time. She wasn't slowing down and you still wanted more. You could feel her fingers hitting you with force. You wanted her…her.her.her.her just her. 

Your pussy tightened around her fingers.

“My pretty thing~ My sweet apothecary~ I know, I know.” She bit down on your neck. Her other hand played with your tits and nipples, flicking them. She looked at you gently and cooed sweet pet names. 

She drives you crazy and she knows that. 

As she kept pumping she pressed right below your belly button, forcing pressure down. A loud moan left your mouth and your eyes rolled back. 

“Oh?” 

The knot that was building up suddenly broke and you squirted all over her fingers. She pulled out and licked her fingers before cleaning your pussy, and by cleaning…she was eating you out. 

“T-tao…mmngh…ke-keep going please!” and so she did. Tears were spilling and your mind was mush. 

You cummed,

3….

6… body all sticky 

8 times before the heat slowly started dying out. You were tired and extremely sensitive. Even a breeze can knock you out cold. Hu tao had to be careful cleaning you and after she did, she gave you little kisses on your face.

“Next time, don’t avoid me.” She stuck out her tongue and you madly blushed and looked away. 

“You insufferable girl.” You responded and you laid in her arms and drifted off to sleep.