#LIKE. WHAT WAS THEIR JOB SUPPOSED TO BE ?? THEY JUST GO UP TO VASH AND TELL HIM TO STOP PROPERTY DAMAGING ???

[boyfriendyke]

also i know that meryl being a journalist like technically makes more sense but i do miss the total absurdity of these two seemingly nice normal girls trudging through the desert trying to track down a literal wanted criminal because theyre. from an insurance company

[dj-of-the-coven]

trigun 1998 episode simulator

[3 minutes of guitar solo]

Vash the Stampede: hi my name is Vash the Stampede. I am a hunter of Peace chasing the elusive mayfly of Love. all I really want to do is have a sandwich and a morning coffee without getting chased by bandits

some bandit: (gunshot) absolutely not. square up faggot

Vash: rats.

[gunfight]

Vash the Stampede: my name is Vash the stampede. I am a hunter of Peace chasing the elusive mayfly of Love.could I please have a sandwich

Meryl from the Bernardelli Insurace Society: how long are you going to sit on your ass doing nothing but playing games with children and doing chores for the elderly and disabled and looking after lonely youths and cooking dinner for the homeless

Vash: I've been here for like 2 days

Milly Thompson: Hi Vash!

Vash: Hi Milly

[exit left pursued by bounty hunters]

Vash the Stampede: (panting, entering a bar) my name is Vash the stampede.... I am a hunter of Peace chasing the elusive mayfly of Good L*rd what is going on in here

Hostage: mphdsfhapff!!!! mffmpphhf!!!!

Villain of the week: well if it isn't the elusive Vash the Stampede! you see it all started when I was 4 days old and you kicked me like a football and then exploded my parents to death with a laser canon and killed every puppy in a ten ile (translator's note: this is the No Man's Land equivalent of the American Mile) radius

Vash: I don't remember doing that but well I suppose you can shoot me if it'll make you feel better

Side character of the week: Are you insane? Just shoot him instead???

Vash: but my mom told me not to be mean to people

Villain of the week: (still going) And as I am now 47 years old I have finally decided to get my revenge. Say your prayers, Vash the Pisshead

[Wall explodes and reveals a motorcycle with a sexy priest on it]

[sfx: guitar with a hint of electric distortion]

Vash: is that..... Wolfwood?

Meryl who was in the background this whole time: the priest?

Nicholas Dickolas Wolfwood: (brings his fingers up to a pair of luscious lips to grab the cigarette from right between them, taking one more slow inhale before crushing the cherry red underneath his heel)(sensually cocks one of his 8 guns) Are you just gonna let this guy talk down to you like that needle noggin?

Vash: I g-

[guitar riff bumper]

[guitar riff bumper]

Vash: -uess not, since you're here to help now... (slow, warm smile) Wolfwood

Nicholas D. ranged Wolfwood: Vash

Milly who was also in the background this whole time: Hi mr priest man! isn't this lovely, I haven't seen you since the last time you spoke with mr Vash yesterday evening when you were helping him buckle all those silly belts on his pants after he had lost them somehow

Vash: On a cactus

Milly: On a cactus! Oh it must've hurt so terribly; how fortunate that Mr Priest man was there to help you

Wolfwood: Hi Milly

[gunfight]

Villain of the week: ohhhhh curses!!! CURSES!!!! I have spent my whole existence getting ready to fight Vash the Stampede but he's just too good at swallowing all my bullets!!!!!!

Vash the Stampede: my tragic dead mother would be sad if I didn't swallow everyone's bullets so I've trained diligently every morning at digesting gunpowder without dying immediately

Wolfwood: [internally: I can't believe it. All this time I've spent walking the path of darkness, reaching to a pure light that I could never grasp, and yet here is a man who's dedicated his life and his body to the pursuit of Peace. I wish he were a woman so I could fuck him romantic style. I've got a whole plan for it and everything. Whiskey, sunset, a bed with no sand in it, 6 hours. This would be fully and completely possible if only he were a woman. Unfortunately he's not, but I can still think about the what-ifs. platonically of course. Maybe if he got some good dick he'd stop being so annoying. And maybe he'd stop making me rethink my morals. I wonder if the seven drunken handies meant anything to him. Platonically]

Wolfwood: Well anyway it looks like my job is done here

Vash: (teary) Will I see you again?

Wolfwood: I don't know. And besides, whenever I look at you, I'm reminded of everything I hate about myself. You know, it hurts.

[exit Nicholas D. Wolfwood pursued by repressed homosexual desires and immense catholic guilt]

Vash the Stanned Peat: (looking out the window like a widow whose husband was killed in action) Nicholas... D... Wolfwood.......

Meryl who was in the background that entire time, yes, the whole time: shut the fuck up already

Vash: when will it be my turn Meryl. When

[roll credits]

[mediocreanomaly]

NESTING? PLS 😭 like ARE WE CONNECTED SOMEHOW this is so good

i have drowsy knives purring himself to sleep stuck in my head now--THIS IS LITERAL GOLD 😭 it would take a v special s/o to pick up the slight nuances of his emotions too n he'd be head over heels 🥺

but nesting instincts 🥺 please for the love of everything knives elaborate i i i wanna know all there is to know ab this man 🥺👉👈

n maybe vashy seperately too?? 🥴

Authors Note: Turned this into a full post because I'm procrastinating my drabbles anyways lmao this is going to give away a teeny tiny bit of my uncanny Vash post I'm making but I love talking about the Twins and their less than human instincts

Savern Twins Nesting HC's

Knives

•Knives is surprisingly the less embarrassed of the twins about nesting instincts, this is solely based on the fact that he doesn't see his plant qualities to be anything to be ashamed about, it's just another thing that sets him apart from humans

•Although, no one (besides you) knows about Knives nest. You may wonder how the two points can co-exist but that because a Plant's nest is supposed to be somewhere secure and safe. So while he's not embarrassed that he has a nest, he's not going to openly talk about it and risk giving away someone trying to get a peek of it (not that he really openly talks about anything)

•Knives nest is big, he had a bed custom made that's larger than a kings but circular and with plush raised walls so it feels not secure and less in the open. He's collected various blankets and pillows that fill the empty space so that he can bundle up under them, all of it is white because he refuses to let his nest look ugly or disorganized

•He's a perfectionist too so he spends a lot of time organizing and reorganizing his nest. Every time he gets a new blanket or pillow to add he has to redo the whole thing to make sure it's in the perfect spot or else he refuses to sleep in it

•Now Knives doesn't have to sleep much like he doesn't have to eat, but sleeping is something enjoys. He stresses about his plans a lot even if he doesn't show it outwardly. What better way to destress than napping in his nest?

•Whenever he decides to officially make you his mate (yes he calls it that, what else is he supposed to call it? Everything else sounds too human) all his instincts will scream at him to burrow into his nest

•For awhile you'll actually be hard pressed to even be allowed out of the nest, because why would you want to leave? As your mate Knives needs to keep you safe, and where's the safest place in the world? His safest place in the world, so please stop trying to leave the nest- you're hungry? fine he'll bring you food that you can eat in the nest

•I honestly don't think Independents hold body heat because their sisters live in water, which is one of many reasons they nest. It's also why Nai will drag you in with him when he wants to sleep so he can bum off your body heat. That's when when you learn he can purr (yeah thats right Plants purr propaganda) naps like this are the best. It's hard to stay awake when he's got you cuddled under blankets, gentle rumbles lulling you asleep

•After awhile you'll be allowed out so long as you are by his side or being escorted by Legato, or atleast unless you get pregnant

•If Knives manages to get you pregnant...you are banished to the nest again. It's not so bad though, besides he likes you like this. All round and full of his child, surrounded by plush comforters and pillows that cradle your form. At this point he won't leave your side unless he has to, if his instincts were bad before then they are haywire now, he stays curled up with you because theres no way you'd be able to defend yourself in a state like this, it's his job as your mate to keep you and his unborn child safe and sound, tucked away from the rest of the world

•When the baby is born it's where you'll spend most your time too, I mean...c'mon think about it. Your little one all tucked against you and Nai curled protectively around both of you, gentle purrs from both him and your baby as both their plant markings glow ever so slightly? If there's such thing as heaven this is it

•Knives has purposely made his nest large enough to hold his growing family, so no matter how many children you have you'll all get to curl up in the nest to find comfort or just to sleep.

•I think unfortunately once the children hit a certain age they are kicked out of the nest lol, it's more reserved for a Plants mate and young ones, so starting at maybe teen age it's time for them to make their own nest

•This isn't to say they aren't ever allowed in at all though. If Knives children are in any sort of distress his instincts kick in telling him to make sure their safe so in times like that they are still allowed in, the purpose of the nest is to provide him and his family with safety and comfort so no matter what it's there waiting for you

Vash

•Vash is admittedly a bit more embarrassed about the fact that he nest

•He tries his best to blend in with humans and thinks that people might find it weird that his instincts are constantly telling him to grab every soft thing he can find and hunker down

•Not that it really matters because he's always on the run anyways, he doesn't have time to stop and nest in the first place which makes it an easy an excuse to not nest at all, so Vash doesn't have a nest...right?

•Wrong. Like I said it's instinct and even Vash can't help but begin to nest in whatever shitty motel room he's in, especially if he's had a really rough day and just wants to sleep.

•Vash's nest is...admittedly a bit more pitiful than Knives. Knives has the advantage of staying in one spot, Vash does not, so he doesn't have a single nest but more so a hastily made one consisting of anything soft he can find. old blankets, pillows, clothes, rags, and even his own coat all make up his haphazard resting place.

•When he meets you though oh boy does it make it harder to resist the urge to stay and make a nice big nest for the two of you to hide away in

•It takes awhile for you to learn of Vash's little habit because he tries really hard to hide it away. He doesn't want you to think he's weird so when he does show it to you and you don't react negativly he's shyly asking, "do you...want to get in it?"

•Please say yes, his heart can't take any other answer. After that Vash is more keen on nesting even though the two of you travel, you even buy him a couple blankets that you pack up and bring so that he has something more consistant to nest with. The two of you will arrive at the motel for the night and you sit on the bed watching as Vash sleepily mulls over the blankets, pillows, and clothes he's choosen and organses it in a satisfactory way before he weakily pulls you in with him, purring as he cuddles up to you

•If you run your hand through his hair you'll be rewarded with more purrs and him nuzzling into your hand, but don't comment on it or he'll get embarrassed and hide his face into the blankets while he pulls away

•Vash wouldn't try to get you pregnant unless it was after he dealt with his brother and at that point I think he'd have a more permanent nest. Whether that's on Ship 3 or your own little home he's finally got a spot that he knows is always there, perfect to keep you in while you grow your baby!

•Vash loves spending time in the nest, it's from a mixture of putting off his instincts so long when he was on the run and the fact he actually has a place of comfort for once that does it, so if you can't find your partner...he's most likely buried in the nest

•It's super cute though, you'll walk in the room and softly call "Vash?" and his head will peak out of the mountain of blankets eyes still half lidded with sleep and hair all messy as he says a soft "hmm?"

•This nest is still a bit more messy and it's one of those "it looks disorganized but Vash know exactly where everything is" situations, he doesn't really care about colors or anything, infact it's proably mostly blankets that other people have gifted him over the years, he feels like it tells a story

•Unlike Knives, you'll have to be the one to eventually kick the kids out of the nest once they get older because "what do you mean they can't stay in here with us? Their still our baby!" "Vash their 20" "and?"

•Vash's plant marks always appear when he's in the nest, he can't help it! It's so comforting, besides he has you here warming him up and your kids cuddled in the covers- oop he's crying, don't worry they're happy tears

After note: I hope you liked it!!! I wanted to add more stuff about you being able to read Knives but it didn't really fit so that might have to be saved for another list I'm a firm "the boys do weird but cute animal things" believer and it's my job to infect people with that propaganda

[novasintheroom]

Learning to shoot - Vash x Reader

Now part of the 150 Bullets drabble series on AO3!

A glistening brown bottle sits squarely on a fence post. It didn’t have much to do today, other than sit pretty. And, hopefully, get shot off its seat.

POP! BANG!...POP POP!

That doesn’t look likely.

Another bullet cracks by the bottle’s neck. You groan, lowering your gun. “Eleven bullets,” you mutter, adding them up as a shopping list for the next town. “This is stupid.” Then, louder, “This is stupid! I can’t hit it; I’m wasting your bullets!”

“No, you’re not,” Vash says. He sits on a nearby rock, munching on a maple-frosted donut for breakfast, your own powdered jelly sitting precariously close to his wandering hands. Through a mouthful of pastry, he calls, “Try again! Feet wide!”

You sigh loudly for emphasis. Fumbling to reload the gun, a few golden bullets spill on the sand. You grit your teeth. “What does it matter that I learn to shoot something? I’ve gotten this far without it!”

“Yeah,” Vash swallows half his donut in one go, licking his fingers, “but you’re traveling with me now. And you asked to learn anyway.”

“Didn’t think I’d have to get up at the butt-crack of dawn to shoot a bottle, though.”

Vash hums and stuffs the rest of the donut in his mouth. “Just don’t want you shooting anyone’s head off.”

And that was fair. Vash could take care of himself and others with his gun. You, squeamish as you are with weapons, are a hinderance to this status quo. You know this, and Vash knows this, though he’ll never admit it. You try to be a good travelling companion, but it’s hard when you can’t defend yourself. Poor Vash has been put through enough gun fights and brawls just to protect you.

You take a steady breath and go into a wide stance. It’s your turn to protect yourself. You raise the little pistol and spot down your arm the glint of amber twenty feet away.

Steady. Aim.

POP!

The shot goes wide.

A frustrated snarl rips your throat. “Vash– “

“Hold on, just,” he trots over with a smile and goes behind you, “you’re locking your knees. Keep them bent just a bit. It’ll help with the recoil.” He kicks at your left foot. “Keep one leg a bit behind, too.”

“I’ve been doing that,” you grump, but do as he says. It’s awkward, standing like this, but you suppose it’ll get easier with more practice. “Okay, so I just – “

“Just a sec.”

His side presses into yours, and your breath stills. One of his arms comes up to hold your own. You can smell the maple on his breath. “Relax your shoulders,” he presses his hand into the groove of your shoulder and neck, “you want to be firm, not frozen. And – “ he leans forward, adjusting where you’re pointing, “try aiming a little higher than you have been.” He whispers something to himself, the words brushing the shell of your ear.

Goosebumps spread across your arms, and you’re grateful to have a jacket hiding them.

Careful of the warble in your voice, you ask, “I’ve seen you shoot with both eyes open and one eye shut. Which is better?”

Vash shuffles, his chest brushing against your back. “Keep both eyes open when you’re close to a target,” he says, “if you need more focus, close your weaker eye.” At your nod, he leans forward. His lips almost brush your ear. “Try again now.”

A hush comes. There is only the bottle, the gun, the sound of Vash’s coat brushing against your own clothes. You let out a long breath…

…BANG!

The bottle sprays apart in a shower of golden shards. An involuntary yelp erupts from your throat, and suddenly you’re cheering, turning around to hug Vash. He laughs and squeezes you tight.

“I did it!” you shriek in his ear. “I shot it!”

“Careful, put the safety on!” He grabs the gun out of your flailing hands and locks it up. Safe from friendly fire, he hands the gun back and smiles. “See? It’s not so bad.”

You holster the gun. “Well, it’s fun when it’s not something living! Can we try again?” He winces, and you mirror it. “Um…after the next job, I mean. Need to get more bullets, huh?”

He laughs. “Maybe we can find some rubber bullets in one of these towns soon. Then you can use as many as you want!”

“Maybe…” You stop and lean closer to his face. Your hand comes up to trail at his cheek. Vash feels his ears go pink, his cheeks redden. What are you…? Did you want to…?

“Is that…donut powder?”

His hopes are dashed, replaced with primal fear as realization dawns. “Uh…”

“Vash! Did you eat my donut?!”

He backs away with nervous laughter. “Uh…I – well I – “ He takes off, and can’t help but laugh at your shriek of rage as you give chase. He laughs again when you curse his long legs. “It’s payment for the bullets! The bullets!”

Well, at least your morning is eventful.

[the-nysh]

Trimax vol1: Longhaired Meryl Appreciation

Both Vash and Meryl grew out their hair in the 2yr timeskip since Fifth Moon (prev vol), that they'll both get haircuts before formally returning to duty. BUT! Since in-universe it's Meryl's birthday (February), and as an experienced (and silly!) ~professional~ she understands the value of taking a well-deserved vacation before she inevitably gets swept into the chaotic typhoon of her job again....so for now, here's her looking radiant with her longer hairstyle:

Bonus comparison to her typical hair length looks like this:

Additional chapter character notes of interest below the cut:

When her coworkers start gossiping and making assumptions about how horrible and dangerous her job (supervising Vash) must've been, she gently corrects them--defending Vash's name, saying "it wasn't such a terrible experience; Vash was a very different person than everyone thought he was; he was actually a very caring and honest man." Very good! She's seen much of his genuine kindness and efforts on their travels, that she won't sit idly by when others continue to misjudge him or speak ill of his character.

(Interestingly in contrast, it seems Meryl has a tolerance towards barbs and criticisms thrown at herself--remaining comparatively silent and/or suppressing it when she's the topic, but she will speak her mind on behalf of others, like Vash's reputation here.)

When her boss calls her to identify recent photos of Vash, she has tears of recognition--it's the first time (and confirmation he's alive) she's seen him after Fifth Moon! She notes his hair color has changed...

However, this time that's her boss's only use for her, as he's hired another guy in charge to intercept Vash. Meryl tries to help by offering the new guy all her reports on Vash as references, but the guy rudely insults and dismisses her! Saying her reports are uselessly no better to him than tabloids--as if she were writing Vash as another 'legendary mysterious hero'--which ah! If her previous words to her coworkers were any clue, she was probably working just as hard to clear Vash's name thru her insurance reports too. :') Lovely integrity and consistent dedication, Meryl!

She was willing to let the new guy go (while dissing a silly gesture behind his back~ again, she refrained from arguing or speaking up for herself here) and sit this one out, until she learns he's a trained military soldier...uhoh. (*cough* whom Vash also doesn't trust and won't open his door for...until the guy mentions lies he brings word from Meryl--ding!)

Although Meryl was supposed to be on vacation, she personally intervenes upon realizing this in-house 'insurance agent' is a hit-man with an unethical approach to 'risk management'--he's here to kill Vash and she does NOT agree with that! (Her non-lethal stance on dealing with targets actually aligns with Vash's values!)

The guy berates her as foolish to get so involved, while pointing a gun at her head--so brave, Meryl! She calmly remembers what her coworker said, about how "a woman can't be happy when she's always getting thrown into life-threatening situations" and thinks back to every danger she's encountered--the Nebraskas, BDN and the Bad Lads, Monev the Gale, EG the Mine...Fifth Moon, to finally focusing on...Vash's smile.

Almost like a grounding effect. 'Do it for him~' Where normally yes, she'd agree, but getting so 'foolishly' involved and thrust into countless dangerous situations becomes necessary and worth it (for Vash's smile...)

Also because, did the guy completely dismiss and underestimate her so bad, thinking she'd carelessly come here all by herself without a plan?! Hah! Cause Milly's on supportive sniper stungun duty to trash into this guy's ego; played 'em well, girls~ With this, Meryl's once again stepped in to take preventative measures against trouble to help save Vash's life, even from afar without him knowing.

Although Milly asks if they can go meet Vash, Meryl insists on keeping professional boundaries at a distance for now--so they can prioritize their self-care enjoying their much-needed vacation, as they'll meet that 'troublemaker' through work and soon get carried away by the typhoon again, all in due time~

(Back at the office, now who's going to be their most qualified replacement for that guy injured on the job? Ding ding, all along that would be Meryl!)

[bugtastic]

Please spill the modern au thoughts, I'm hungry for any takes of the characters in a happier setting

i had to edit this cuz i accidentally posted this without a check up first- anyways-

vash is my first victim. >:)

tags: fluff, a little bit of angst on vash's side, gn!reader.

warnings: none i think!

modern!vash, who is unemployed due to his reputation as the "humanoid typhoon". he causes disaster at every job he worked at. broken machines, gadgets, you name it. he was cursed out by his bosses many times. almost the whole city knows about him at this point.

"All you do is bring bad luck everywhere you go!"

modern!vash, who spends his time at your shared home, waiting for you to come home like a pet waiting for its owner.

modern!vash, who feels guilty that he can't lighten the stress off your shoulder. you have been working overtime again, just so you're able to afford a place for you and him.

modern!vash, who feels guilty that he can't lighten the stress off your shoulder. you have been working overtime just to pay the bills and to keep the small apartment you've both been living in. you're struggling and he can see that. he sees it every night when you go to bed and he feels you fall asleep in his arms.

modern!vash, who cleans the house and cooks for you both because of said guilt. you told him many times that it's okay, he doesn't need to clean the whole apartment just for your sake. he is stubborn, let me tell you. he will become the ideal malewife.

modern!vash that decorates the place to feel like home. trinkets he collects from his walks with Meryl and Wolfwood end up somewhere on a shelf. you swear that every day you come back home from work you see a new pebble in the plant vase you gifted vash before you started dating.

modern!vash, who texts the group chat with his friends, asking if anyone has free time for a short walk.

modern!vash, who looks at Wolfwood and Meryl as they bicker once again. Wolfwood pokes Meryl on purpose and he laughs silently to himself. The only thing missing is you. The four of you would be out hanging together. He misses holding your hand when he goes outside. But you're not here because of him.

modern!vash, who cries in your arms when you comfort him. you say you're more than happy to work overtime for both of your sake until he finds a stable job. he can't help but clutch the fabric of your shirt tighter, thinking 'I don't deserve you' and 'How selfish of me'. But now that he has you, you can't help but keep you to himself.

"How selfish of me. But I love you too much to let you go, my Mayfly"

modern!vash, who refuses every job offer his brother gave him. he doesn't associate with him anymore, not after what he did to you and his friends after rem's death. he will accept any other offer, but not Nai's.

modern!vash, who looks at the clock, hearing every tick the clock makes. you were already supposed to be home. it's past 9pm. where are you? did you get in trouble?

modern!vash, who worries and runs to the door, putting his shoes on as he speed dials your number on his phone.

-

You huff as you carry 2 heavy bags. After work, you went shopping for some supplies to make dinner. Vash has been cooking dinner every single day and the moment you protest and want to cook him, he hushes you and kisses you with a giddy smile on his face. You noticed when he gives small pecks on your lips, he giggles softly to himself.

Ah, if you only saw that smile turn into a small pout the moment you leave for work.

You swore that if he gives you those puppy eyes again, you will fight your inner self and be stubborn. You wanted to make him dinner too after all the hard work he's doing around the apartment. Cleaning and cooking, you're sure it must be tiring at some point for him.

After walking up many stairs you arrive at your door. You put the bags down as you reach for the keys to the apartment in your jacket. As you were about to put the key in its hole, the door suddenly flew open.

Vash stared at you in shock. His phone was to his ear and barely dressed to go outside. Wearing a gray tank top and black shorts are not ideal for going outside at night.

"Vash, what are you doing?" you asked. The blond registers your appearance, the shock fading away and for pure joy to replace it.

"YOU'RE BACK!!!" he picks you up in his arms and hugs you tightly. You yelp as you feel the air in your lungs slowly running out from his death squeeze.

"Where have you been? You were supposed to be here an hour- mmmmf-!" You press your lips to Vash's, successfully shutting him up.

"Stop worrying, I was out shopping. Now put me down, I need to cook dinner." You pat your hand on his shoulder signaling him to put you down. He slowly starts putting you down purposefully, he wants you in his arms juuuust a little longer. You sigh and wrap your arms around him. He feels your arms slowly envelop him. His heart might have just skipped a beat no biggie hahah. "I missed you too Sunshine." you say as you finally feel your feet touch the ground. You look up at Yash and you can tell he's not on earth right now. He's in a daze with a goofy smile on his face. You couldn't help but mess his hair up a bit, ruffling his fluffy blond locks.

He snaps back, finally registering what you said before. "Wait, dinner? But I'm supposed to make you food!" He exclaimed as you took the grocery bags and ran into the apartment before Vash to stop you.

"I'M MAKING DINNER AT THAT'S FINAL VASH! YOU CAN'T STOP ME FROM SPOILING YOU!" you yell down the hallway as you make your way down to the kitchen. Vash dramatically gasps and slams the apartment door shut.

"You have been working all week! You should rest Mayfly, overworking yourself just to make me happy... I don't deserve-" He gasps lightly as you pull him down by the collar of his gray tank top and kissing him. You were going to make the kiss short just to stop him from degrading himself.

That didn't up happening.

Vash hurriedly cupped your face with his hands and desperately pulled you closer to him, deepening the kiss.

He's been waiting all week for you to come home and kiss him properly after all.

You are the first one to break the kiss and take deep breaths. Vash was silently looking at you, just staring at you. His eyes softened as he leaned in for more, only for you to stop him by putting your hand over his mouth.

"This won't stop me from cooking, Vash." You scold him. Truthfully, that wasn't his plan to begin with but he'll use it as an excuse for now to hide his neediness. He laughs a bit, his face painted red.

"Can we cook together at least? Please? Preeeetty pleaseee Maaayfly?" He's giving you those puppy eyes again. You huff. You can't fight against that.

"Fine, let me do the main part at least." you say with a sigh. You can practically see the nonexistent tail wag behind your boyfriend.

"Okay! I'm happy with anything, really, as long as you're with me." Vash picks you up again and sets you on the counter. He goes through the grocery bag to see what you've gotten. His eyes shine brightly as he sees fresh doughnuts you've bought for him. After a while, you two end up talking about your day. He talks about how Wolfwood and Meryl fought as usual as you laugh with him. You can't help but stare Vash as he's talking. His energetic movements when he talks about the simplest things, his bright blue eyes, his smile. You can't get enough of that bright, gorgeous smile.

You think to yourself...

If you were to choose who you could spend your life with, you'd choose Vash Saverem in every universe. No matter who he is.

[chibivesicle]

I would love to see an in depth breakdown of Stampede’s reworkings of Trigun’s female characters and how they compare to their original counterparts. Because although I’m not normally one to cry “misogyny” but I can’t help but feel like whoever decided to turn multifaceted characters like Meryl, Luida and Elendira into cutesy waifus and reduced Rem to the classic ‘dead mother’ trope has some explaining to do. There’s also the matter of the plants in Stampede being forcefully impregnated via Knives violating Vash, complete with swollen pregnant stomachs, which to me is just straight up, well, cursed(although something similar happened in the manga).

I can’t help but feel like there’s a lot of unspoken misogyny here.

Hello!

Now that Trigun Stampede is over and the dust has settled, I can 100% say that I agree with you. The level of lazy misogynistic writing in Stampede was high. When I was doing the weekly videos, I kept thinking, "Well, it isn't that bad. Is it?" until looking at the entire show and realizing, that "Yeah. It was terrible."

I'm not even going to touch on the entire sexual/impregnation of the plants via Knives by violating Vash at all! I'm sure one could write an entire meta about it and how cringe it is but I'm not feeling that vibe.

I'll focus on the female cast and how they were shortchanged from the original work to this 're-imagining'. I will say that the Trigun manga, focuses less on the female characters. But they are all totally competent individuals who are not driven by the romantic need to marry some man. Overall, the '98 anime was even better by creating the quartet of Vash, Meryl, Milly and Wolfwood. I mentioned it from time to time in my reviews but the original anime passed the Bechdel test. Which on paper isn't a high bar for media to clear but soooo many things fail that test.

For overall female character significance and roles in the Trigun universe (multiverse?) the '98 anime is top. Meryl and Milly play a major role in how Vash and Wolfwood behave and also bear witness to their actions and support them. Yet, they are not weak but instead demonstrate how four people, will have four different ways to solve the exact same problem.

However, the manga has a greater cast of women and cannot be ignored. As you mentioned, Luida and Elendira appeared in Stampede from Trimax and both are great characters. Aaannnnddd, Stampede ruined them for me.

The best way to approach all of the key women of the series, we'll break it down by character.

Meryl Stryfe - insurance adjuster/reporter

Trigun manga - secondary character. Acts as human viewpoint watching Vash, reacting to the power of his angel arm, contemplating what it is like to kill someone with a firearm. Age at the start of manga 21. Age after time skip, 23. By the end of the series 24-25 ish?

Trigun '98 - main character. Acts as human viewpoint in observing Vash [again] but also feels compassion towards him as their friendship grows. Senior and experienced insurance adjuster both a friend and mentor for Milly. Competent on the job, hard worker, gets things done, leans for logic over emotions. Age not mentioned in anime, but likely similar to manga. Vocal, opinionated, and ready to take on any situation.

Stampede - main character. Newbie reporter for November news under Roberto. Older starting age of 23, yet acts like she's 16 or something. Her character is a disappointment in this version; with her being junior to Roberto there is no senior female in the cast and it shows. By no means is Meryl supposed to be a perfect person (this is Nightow after all) but he does not write cutesy female characters. No female character in his cast is like how she is in Stampede.

Milly Thompson - insurance adjuster/reporter/???TBD

Trigun manga - secondary character. Strong, emotional, a bit naive but still able to help Wolfwood out during a fight. Continues to be the junior to Meryl and follows her to their secondary career as journalists.

Trigun '98 - main character. Foil to both Meryl and Wolfwood. Besides Vash making Wolfwood change his viewpoints, she also pushes him to think about things differently. Most importantly, she doesn't judge him based on his actions and only shows that she cares. Emotionally intelligent, naive and honest to a fault.

Stampede - next season?

Enough said right there. Why was Milly replaced by lame ass old man info dump Roberto?

Rem Severem - Key team member of Project Seeds/Vash and Knives adopted mother

Trigun manga - Rem is the mother/moral guidepost for Vash in the manga. He tries to uphold her ideals and moral code to not kill anyone. She told him about the death of her significant other which left her feeling lost. However, a dream about her taking a train with a origin station but no destination created her philosophy that everyone's ticket to the future is blank.

She is an incredibly compassionate individual and even tries to stop Vash from committing suicide being injured herself in the events. It causes him to snap out of it as he put her in medical care. However, her philosophy is impossible to practice on the planet where the ships crashed. Yet for ~150 years Vash is able to not kill another person.

Trigun '98 - The exact same role as in the manga but with less backstory fleshed out. However, her quote of one's ticket to the future is blank is the same. Additionally, the anime adds in her love of a creation song which becomes a musical motif in the anime linking Vash to her and to the present day humans as they try to create a new world. Hence the creation myth song as Project Seeds was to allow for them to restart.

The anime links Rem to Meryl when Vash finds himself lost as she supports him before he heads off for his final showdown with Knives. It shows that a very similar philosophy still exists within humanity and that Vash can continue on with his personal moral compass.

Stampede - At first, we learn who Rem is, unlike the anime or manga. She shows us that she saved Vash and Nai and that she loved them. However, that was it. We never hear her personal philosophy. The flashback only focuses on how she tries to raise them as her own children but no deep moral discussions are had like in the manga or even the anime.

Again, this is a huge determent to her character in Stampede; the series very much went for tell not show. So to try to convey Rem's character through showing when the default was tell made it a disappointment. I waited, waited, waited for her to say at least some version of her quote about the ticket being blank. Nothing.

Rem barely spoke in the scheme of things. Nor did Vash have dream or one sided conversations with her in Stampede which also made it hard to understand why he wouldn't kill.

Elendira the Crimsonnail - 13th Gung-ho Gun/nail producing child-plant hybrid who doesn't age

Trigun manga - A trans woman and the strongest of the Gung-ho Guns. Truly a witty and fashionable individual with her briefcase that allows for her to pierce opponents with a rain of oversized nails. Elendira's character is quite nuanced, watching the fall of humanity on the planet while having complex conversations with Legato. The two of them are frequently at odds but both see their roles to assist Knives in his goals.

I found her character to be the most sane/rational viewpoint into Knives and his organization. She always has a witty remark or comment and seems to have chosen to work with Knives thinking that this would be the winning side.

After she's revealed to be trans, that's pretty much it. It isn't brought up time and time again, nor does it define her character - you know with the whole ending of humanity on the planet taking more precedence.

Her final battle against Livio is epic and overall, I liked her character. She was badass in the best way possible.

Stampede - Ugh, where do I even start. . . . Elendira appears to be a perma-prepubescent child being a human-plant hybrid. We see her with Grey the Ninelines when they steal a plant in episode 3 wearing a pink dress. So maybe a girl? Maybe a boy? No gender?

But then, when we get the Monev the Gale/Rollo flashback, she speaks to young Rollo calling herself an angel and appears the same age. Present events put her fight with Vash, Wolfwood, Meryl and Roberto 25 years later and she looks the same. Apparently, being a human-plant hybrid makes her inferior to Vash or Knives since she still has to plug herself into one of the glass aquariums to regulate her 'gate'. So, not a plant plant, but lacking the skills of an independent plant. Sort of a crappy outcome the more you think about it.

Despite her age being at least 35 (say she was 10 when she met Rollo) or even older than that - she acts like a child. Gets angry like a child and has not mentally matured at all. Again, didn't get the rapid aging bits of Vash so still mentally a child? Unless I am told otherwise, I'm gonna stick with she/her pronouns and based on the rest of writing for Stampede, they likely want us to see her as cis not trans.

You cannot even compare Trimax Elendira to Stampede. They are not the same character other than the name. They don't even use nails the same way! As far as I'm concerned, she's pointless in Stampede. A cutesy angry girl who will kill you with her gate manifested nails.

Luida - Leader of [un]crashed seeds ship/botanist

Trigun manga - leader of humans from the Project Seeds ship that had been in hiding with several generations of humans living on it above the barbaric planet below. As events worsen, becomes the de facto leader of all the humans resisting Knives and coordinates with the NML cavalry. Wise, straight shooting and in charge. Brad works for her after the death of the Sensei by the Leonoff the Puppet master situation.

She never really steals any scene but is critical to the success of their plan and acts as the link between the humans from Earth and the people on the planet's surface. Always framed in a strong position of leadership. A very androgynous appearance with spiked black hair, and simple clothing.

Stampede - Simplified to the second stand in mother figure for Vash. She also gets aged up with her first meeting Vash when he was a teenager and brought him into their home. Instead of being older than Brad, she is a peer with him and both of them are considerably older in the current time point. A plant biologist expert - something which is not even close to the role that she played in Trimax.

She also elicits the anti-mother anger from Knives in Stampede, meaning that Knives only wants Vash to himself. No women allowed to be mothers for them! Compared to the manga, she again like Elendira is a totally different character. We don't see a whole lot of that natural leadership and commanding presence from the manga.

Therefore, of this list of key female characters their fates are as such in Stampede:

Meryl - aged up but down in maturity and experience.

Milly - missing.

Rem - dead mother trope. Never said anything to convey why Vash is the way he is.

Elendira - infantilazation to a perma-child.

Luida - kind older lady/second mother.

Therefore, two female characters have been relegated to mother figures; Rem and Luida. Meryl was made less mature to be the junior to an old asshole. Elendira is as far as we know a perma-child.

All mature women with years of experience have been removed from the story. Yeah, I enjoyed the previous versions of Trigun for their killer girls, uwu-waifus, and doting mothers. Really connect with these sorts of characters. . . .

I'm sure you can tell I'm being sarcastic. Thus, I will rewatch the '98 anime, or reread the manga and turn my attention to Kekkai Sensen. Where there are more excellent female characters - shocking! K.K., Chain Sumeragi, Luciana Estavez, Aligura, Michella Watch (a blind woman in a wheelchair took out a Beyondian mad doctor remember?) and in the anime, White.

If Stampede wanted to do scary cute well, they only needed to look at Aligura. One of the 13 kings and a gothic lolita. It takes ovaries to liquefy your boyfriend and inject him into your crush. But hey, it works. 'Cause based on her dismissal of Leo thinking that he was important to her, she's not one to cry like a perma-child like Elendira in Stampede. When one's monster truck, car eating vehicle of destruction causes thousands of casualties, you are pretty badass.

[robotlyra]

I said I was holding off final judgement on Trigun Stampede until Wolfwood showed up, and now that he's here I'm laying down my stamp: the show is flash over substance, and how they handled Wolfwood's intro solidifies it.

Spoilers inbound  

Wolfwood was confirmed as a member of Knives' squad right at the end of the episode he was introduced so there is no time to experience him as anything other than a threat. His critical moment of "comforts a distressed child" that establishes his kind heart and dedication to children was completely neutered because it was an act he pulled with Zazie the Beast in cahoots in order to trick Vash into trusting him more. Even his official job is no longer "priest", but "undertaker", which is like the cherry on top of the sundae of the show's failure to understand the likeability of its characters, and just focusing on making them as cool as possible.  Now, instead of a kind hearted stranger with a surprising toughness and pragmatism and his darker realities only shock us much later, he comes across as snarky, aloof and edgy, and an immediate danger. He's not a comrade to be walked with, he's a problem to be solved. The roles of "who sees through the other's façade on their first meeting" are even inverted, so instead of Wolfwood pointing out Vash is faking his smile, Vash is seeing through Wolfwood's supposed ruthlessness and it makes it seem like Vash's job is to fix him by seeing the good in all people, instead of Wolfwood revealing that Vash's pacifism and attempt to run from his past has its own dangers.

And this isn't really a spoiler, but Roberto continues to be the worst character on the show: he exists only to offer verbal exposition to make up for the fact that the show is plunging hard and fast into action from the manga that the OG never got to, at the expense of slower, more thoughtful exposition. Other than that, all he does is drink, smoke, complain and be a big glaring cynical black hole that only amplifies what was lost when Millie was cut.

I miss the original show's goofiness. None of this show has any of the charming ridiculousness that made the shift to tragedy all the more shocking. There's none of that playing with "is this guy actually that good, or is he just obscenely lucky?" There's no "Why does a priest have guns in his cross? Why is he THAT GOOD at shooting?” Instead everyone's cool and badass and perfectly animated in glamour shots right off the bat

My main takeaway is that even though the original Trigun may have had its flaws (and a big drop in animation quality in the middle), what makes people fall in love with it is the characters. People LOVE Vash and Wolfwood, that's why people hollered when they had all those previews. It wasn't so much the story as the fact that they were going to see characters they loved again. So when this new show does so very little to actually focus on the characters and what kind of people they are, and just kind of plunges headlong into all the stuff that from the manga that the og series never covered, it's a disappointment. Trigun Stampede is basically like an abridged series done by somebody who was only interested in how badass they could make it instead of getting to know the characters as people.

[fantasticalbiology]

Yellowswap: behind the scenes

So this isn't a follow up to Yellowswap I just thought this would be funny.

Sans: "So I understand the stabbing myself part but I don't have hair"

Me: "Don't worry I have an alternative for your zenith." I pullout the dry erase board with a picture of Nightmare sans from Moro porductions. "This shall be your zenith"

Sans "Okay so I aggressively start beat boxing at the kid after I transform"

Me: "NO"

scene change

Asgore: "So I start yelling at Undyne about a Ben tens"

Me: "Yes"

Undyne: "And I dispute his claims with cowboys"

Me: "Yes and you can even dispute his claims using anime cowboy like Spikes or Vash"

Chujin in the distance: "That's even dumber than Clint Eastwood"

Starlo also in the distance: "Your dumber than Clint Eastwood"

Me: "quiet you two"

scene change

Mettaton: "So what is my motivation again"

Me: "Your a mindless killing machine that's killed before and will again"

Mettaton: "But I get scared in genocide that I have hide behind a trashcan lid"

Me: "Yup"

Mettaton: "Are you sure I can't have the El Bailador's role"

Me: "No Papyrus has it on lock and El Bailador has his role on lock"

Papyrus in the background: "Where the japes in this role"

El Bailador in the background: "Where is the passion in this role"

Papyrus: "In the puzzles"

Me: "We'll talk about it"

Scene change

Me: You don't have flirt with Ceroba or El Bailador if you don't want to but it's kind of expected

Clover leaves sad

Frisk raises their hand

Me: "No, you still can't flirt anyone"

Frisk leaves sad

Me shaking my head: "Kids" looks to my left to see Integrity with chara's scary face. "Good job kid"

Scene change

Kanako: "So I emerge from the flower and scream my name"

Me: "I mean you can, but's it's better that you let the words to your name appear save your lungs when your hyper death"

Kanako: "Okay mister"

scene changed

Starlo desperately tries to lift Dalv: "C'mon, I can do it"

Me: "Do I need to get Ed in here"

Starlo struggling: "Nope I got this, I can toss him into the trash can"

Me: "Ed, please help Starlo"

Ed grabs Dalv and tosses him through the net into the trash can. "There we go"

Me, puts my hand on Starlo's shoulder "You can try again later, I'm still trying to convince Marlet into the jogboys outfit"

Deltarune yellowswap bonus scene

Me: "Cover you don't have to eat the moss, just put yourself in the chains"

Cover: "Okay"

Anako: "Then I say imagine what Noelle doing"

Me: "Pretty much

Spamton: Hey you [Clown about town] if Cover is already a [BIG SHOT] what is ole Spamton G Spamton supposed to do

Me: I already explained it to Alphys but the red and yellow souls purposes are being swapped

[weirdcat1213]

YEY THE HORRORS i mean YEY THE BOOKCLUB :D

thoughts on volume 6 (oh boi we're almost halfway someone hold me pls)

chap 1:

-OH MY GOD ITS HIM I FORGOT ABOUT HIM FOR A MOMENT (not in general, ik he's in 98)

-HEY HIS WINGS MAY BE CREEPY BUT THEYRE ALSO BEAUTIFUL TO ME >:[

-HOWEVER i love how yeah they are scared af but also get that vash as a person is not bad and they don't leave his side

-WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOUR BF LIKE THAT STOP STOP STOOOOOP. IDC THAT HE IS A LITERAL LASER CANON HES STILL JUST A LITTLE GUY

-are we...supposed to notice how bad the state of the gun is or...?

-nono brandon is right, i would also not give good guns to cops

-vash i fucking swear-

-SHUT UP YOU FUCKING COP >:[

-BRO WTF

-YEAH BRANDON CALL HIM OUT

-MY FAVORITE WEIRD CREATURE IS HERE

-ok in my 1st read didnt get that, idk why but i was confused about meryl getting worried for some reason. but she has a (sad) point. will one day the ptsd related to violence and guns be enough to make vash not shoot his gun? shes asking an interesting question. shes literally asking how much can vash take imo.

-wait so...was the replacement gun...the one in stampede??? (i will compare them later)

-DONT LOOK AT ME WITH THOSE GENTLE EYES MAN CMON

-I didnt notice he took the punisher lmao

chap 2:

-:c wolfwood having nightmares its not even a hc, IT IS CANON

-NOT THE FLASHBACK OF VASH CRYING BLOOD OUCH NO PLS NO

-:c im not even mad at wolfwood calling vash a monster cuz it must be fucking TERRIFYING but it still hurts :c

-you could...but youre not gonna

-"so yeah you cant be there for every problem in the pla- HOLD UP WHERE ARE YOU GOING"

-lmao meryl is like me fr

-this time i got most of the fight but i think we can all agree the mpv was the table

chap 3

-YEY LEGATO IN THE.....metal handbag?

-YES ELENDIRA FUCKING READ HIM

-OH MY GOD HES HERE HES HERE OH GOD NO

-i remember i was so confused i didnt realize THATS HIS FUCKING TONGUE

-also did double fang kill trail of death?

chap 4:

-OH I LOVE THIS SCENE SM. i also hate walking in a place with a shit ton of people

-YES IT IS BABY, THATS THE SAME CHILD YOU [so so redacted] WOOOOOOOOO (i love this chapter)

-oh...yeah that...oh

-"we cant survive without her power, neither can you" dude...dont...just dont

-ah yes. the hair. yeap. just a cool artistic decision. yeap.

-also i forgot how fucked up the last run was here

-oh he felt it, i saw that in his eye

-oh so he also went apeshit....ohhhhh. ok so if vash went apeshit cuz of a physical fight or flight reaction (I THINK) did knives go apeshit cuz of hate? the physical need to kill people in revenge? nice

-BRO WDYM "why not just end this crusade?" YOU JUST SAW WHY HE WOULD NEVER END IT

-oh that was his last straw. one thing is him being tricked by a human but that lie affecting his brother? the one thing he's trying to protect (yes ik he's not doing the greatest job at it) from humans? yeah no you gotta die

chap 5:

-NO. NO. NONONONONONON NOT THIS CHAPTER NO

-I HATE THE METAPHOR ALREADY (i love it. i want to yell at nightow my thoughts about it. i will never be normal about it)

-pls no. im begging you. pls dont make me read this again. this is when my sanity starts to break into little raggedy pieces of paper

-i just notices this change happens cuz he got HIS MEMORIES BACK WHAT IF I ENDED IT ALL

-i dont want to read anymore

-its just. so fucking hard. like ik we say hes jesus. but at the same time jesus never felt like that. jesus was born without sin but in vash's eyes he is full of sins and no one can forgive him. bro, honey, god would forgive you anything. you are his favorite im sure. but no matter the arguments for the allegory vash can never be jesus cuz he carries the pain of his "sins" everyday PLUS THE ONES FROM THE HUMANS. idk. im sad and tired. my baby. its ok i forgive you. and im sure rem forgives him. im sure. im sad

-anyway, back to the kinda normal thoughts

-also i think vash thinking he has to forgive himself is kinda flawed. like instead of forgiveness he has to accept what happened and i think those are different things. ofc yeah july was messed up but he never intended to do it. idk

-ANYWAY

-huh, those speakers look like eyes

-cant even swallow in misery in peace anymore lmao

-:c not the day drinking

-i think thats vash talking but yeah....nothing is easy for my guy. hes kinda right, better than crying ig...

-i prefer spike-isms but i will also take needle noggin-isms thank u

-that man can move in such unnatural ways *hears the uncanny vash people cheer at a distance*

-oof, the ptsd got meryl

-also the question is not whether vash was going to take the bullet or not, the real question is how hard does that question makes me cry

- SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUP

-OOF, i mean i 100% get meryl but OOF

-also YES THATS WHAT I FUCKING MEAN. AND I READ THIS ON [redacted] A FEW WEEKS AGO. THE BALANCE BETWEEN EXTREMES ITS JUST NULL, ITS NOT A COLOR AT ALL. his love and faith in humanity vs the pain they cause him...that balance creates a colorless emotion and IM SAD ABOUT IT.

-i hate that final page. i fucking hate milly protecting meryl from her memories while comforting her while protecting her from the rocks, i hate the people still insult vash even when he was long gone, i hate to see the children who saw the same thing as their parents try to convince them to stop because they know vash would never hurt people on purpose only to be ignored..and more than anything i hate vash apologizing for something he has no control over.

-ALSO I ALSO FEEL LIKE CRYING VASH-

[let it be on the record that i needed a minute to continue with the volume]

chap 6:

-OH NO IT STARTS

-"how could i have known?" youre telling me you spent years studying yourself and other plants and never saw one with black hair? really? (im not saying its a plot hole, im saying he was too distracted being a dick)

-so that was his imagination im assuming

-TESLA MENTION WE WIN

-OH GOD OH NO PLS GET ME OUT OF HERE NO PLS NOT THIS

-i love her dialogue with the funny glasses lmao, she really was the only mom ever

-oh..here come the tears

-oh right..they used to be like this

-oh...oh god

[shenyaanigans]

3, 6, 17, 18, 27, 29 for ao3 wrapped! if you want to, of course :)

AAAA hello dear friend!! <3 thank u so much for the asks! 3&17 i answered here, but i shall answer the rest of these! <3

ao3 wrapped

6. Favorite title you used

I gotta give this one to an angel's share which was supposed to be a 5+1 that got. Out of Hand, let's say. The context is that I went to a distillery in Ireland at around the time I was being consumed by Trigun brainrot, and during the tour, the tour guide talked about how, when whiskey is aging in its barrels, it loses about 10% of its volume to evaporation, but back in the olden days, they didn't know that's what happened, so they chalked up the missing whiskey to "the angel's share"--where angels came down and blessed the barrels in the morning before they were opened, and took a drink with them. I found this anecdote to be so cute and inspiring, and I pictured Vash stealing things from Wolfwood and well. The rest is history. LOL

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

Interestingly, I would say this is Wolfwood. Not because I actually felt like he gave me trouble during the writing process, but because Trigun fandom started to really make me question whether I was doing a good job with him by the end... Part of the reason an angel's share remains unfinished is because I feel vaguely... I don't know, embarrassed? It's difficult to keep going once the seed that I've been fundamentally mistaken about a character is planted, because I can't stop second guessing that I'm somehow doing something wrong. This, as well as some other factors, made Wolfwood difficult to go back to, despite that I love him and have confidence in my literary analysis of both him and Vash.

27. What do you listen to while writing?

So USUALLY nothing, but sometimes, I'll just listen to a single song on repeat that for some reason really gets me in the groove. For like no reason. Which is why my top songs on spotify are so fucked up LOL

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

I have a lot of favorites, but I love the drawing scene from chapter 5 of bodice ripper. It's both a massive narrative pay-off moment, and a showcase of good writing at the same time, and marrying those two aspects of narrative work has always been something I've struggled with! Here is my favorite excerpt from that scene:

With that, he turns to go. Jing Yuan is reminded, suddenly, of that day on the Alchemy Commission’s beach, when he’d run into Mr. Yang again after ignoring him for days. What if he had ended this all there? If he had allowed Mr. Yang to walk away back then, would it have been better? Certainly, it would have spared them both the tension of now. But— Is it so much better to have never suffered through loss, Mr. Yang had said at dinner, than it is to have risked and gained something that mattered? It occurs to Jing Yuan, throughout all this, he has risked nothing. Actually, he has risked nothing his entire life. And he has risked nothing knowing that risking nothing was the correct thing to do, because he has watched every person he has ever known risk something at the expense of everything, just because the potential return was high. It is he who has lived so long because he has always taken the cautious path, the meticulous path, knowing risk is only worth it when victory is assured first. He has always been a coward. It doesn’t bother him.

[idnek83]

Service With a Smile 3/?

Fandom: Trigun

Rating: Explicit (eventually)

Pairing: Vash/Wolfwood

Tags: Coffee shop au, Vash owns a cafe, Wolfwood is a mystery man, Trans Vash, Getting together, Fluff, Slow burn, Eventual smut, Recreational drug use, Drinking, Vash is self conscious about his scars, afab language

Summary: Vash works at a little coffee shop known as Seeds Cafe,  and likes to make his days more interesting by trying to make each of  his customers smile or laugh at least once before they leave. He has a 100% success rate... That is, until one day a moody man with a taste for cigarettes and black coffee shows up...

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Read on Ao3

_____________________

It’s about 30 minute before close and Vash keeps glancing at the door between cleaning glasses. Logically he knows that just because Mr. Grumpy came in around this time yesterday, it doesn’t mean he’ll be back, but he can’t seem to stop himself from looking up at every little noise, hoping to see the man’s scowl coming through his door.

The minutes pass by agonizingly slow, but the door remains closed.

When 8 o’clock rolls around without anyone coming in, Vash lets out a disappointed sigh and flips over Seeds’ open sign.

-

Vash flops face first onto his bed, ignoring the way the bed frame groans and creaks in protest.

Even if he spent most of the day doing nothing, working 14 hour shifts at his cafe still takes a lot out of him, and he’s always more than content to immediately pass out as soon as he gets home.

As if to spite him, his phone vibrates.

He grumbles and shifts enough to grab it from where he’d tossed it on his side table. When the screen lights up he’s hit with a wave of conflicting emotions.

He has a text from his brother, Nai.

He considers ignoring it. It’s not that he doesn’t want to talk with his brother, it’s more that their relationship is... complicated, and he isn’t sure if he can handle all the heavy emotions that generally come along with their conversations right now.

Despite himself, he unlocks his phone to see what Nai sent him.

      Hope you're well. I’m departing for Stockholm soon.

Vash vaguely recalls Nai mentioning something about an upcoming conference in Stockholm last time they spoke on the phone, but for the life of him can’t recall what it was for.

Nai’s job has always confused Vash, but he could best be described as... an entrepreneur? Or maybe a business tycoon? From what Vash understands he basically owns a lot of business and makes money by... giving them money and then taking a cut of the profits later?

At first he had been worried his brother was some kind of loan shark, but after a lengthy explanation, during which Vash nodded a lot and understood very little, his brother had assured him that was not the case.

And Vash is mostly sure he can trust him.

He isn’t really in a place to question him at the very least, considering Nai is the only reason Vash was able to open Seeds in the first place.

Vash sighs. Just send Nai something light and move on. If he’s getting on a plane soon he wont have time to inquire into every facet of Vash’s life and inevitably (if accidentally) make him feel awful about himself anyways.

      I’m good! Have fun in Stockholm! : )

Vash waits, part of him hoping he took too long and Nai is already on the plane, while the rest of him feels guilty for hoping that.

      This is a business trip. Not a vacation.

Vash feels his stomach sink. Right. Business. No fun allowed. Vash should know better. He tries to think of an appropriate response but his phone vibrates again before he comes up with anything.

      But I suppose I can try.

It makes him smile, but then for some reason his throat gets tight and he suddenly fells like he’s going to cry. He types up a quick response before his vision blurs too heavily.

      Yay! :D

He rolls onto his back and lets a few tears roll down his cheeks. He hates that he’s like this. He hates that he isn’t a better brother. Nai does so much for him and yet Vash can barely manage to even talk to him without having some kind of emotional breakdown.

Nai just makes him feel... too much. He’s thankful, and he loves him, and he misses him, but he’s also angry, and jealous, and knows he’s not worthy of being the twin of someone so completely perfect. He’s ashamed. He wishes Nai was ashamed of him too. Nai gave up so much for him and all Vash has to show for it is a tiny apartment and a cafe that’s just barely staying afloat.

He hates relying on Nai any more than he absolutely needs to. It’s why he works so much at Seeds. Why he’s only hired 2 part-time employees, even though it means he works 70 hours a week.

Vash closes his eyes and encourages his thoughts to stray away from his brother and his guilt.

They land on his part-timers.

Meryl and Milly are both wonderful. He had hired Meryl first, she was a regular who would often come to Seeds to study or work on homework, and Vash had always enjoyed her visits. Then one day she had offhandedly mentioned looking for part-time work, and Vash decided pretty much that instant that he wouldn’t mind a little extra help during mornings and weekends.

A few weeks after hiring Meryl, she asked if Vash would consider hiring someone else as well, insisting he worked way too much and that he looked so tired most days that Meryl was certain it was only a matter of time before he accidentally poured scalding hot coffee on someone's face. Vash had relented, saying he could probably afford to hire another part-timer to cover the mornings Meryl couldn’t work, but Meryl insisted he have them work weekends too, so that Vash could actually have days off. He had been opposed to it at first, he already felt bad about taking Meryl’s weekends away from her, but Meryl had argued that no one would take a job that only offered a handful of morning hours, so Vash eventually agreed to give up his weekend shifts.

He had left hiring to her, saying he didn’t have the money to advertise an opening, and he’d be happy to just hire one of her friends if she knew anyone looking for work.

Two days later, she brought in a girl nearly as tall as Vash, and just as broad.

Milly is an absolute delight, Vash has never met someone so polite who also managed to have a great sense of humour and take absolutely no shit from anyone who even thinks about being rude around her.

Apparently Meryl had met her at an orientation event for their college, and when Meryl had mentioned not being able to see the stage, Milly had simply scooped he up and put her on her shoulders. After that they got to talking, realized they were both majoring in journalism, and had been inseparable ever since.

Vash had immediately taken a liking to Milly, and welcomed her to Seeds with open arms.

Still though, the first Saturday the girls had worked on their own, Vash came in 3 separate times before they banned him from visiting his own store on weekends. Milly literally carried him out, lifting him up under his arms like a child and placing him outside, before scolding him for not taking time for himself.

It had been months since then, and he still never really knew what to do with his weekends.

Mostly he sat around his apartment, slept, and occasionally got high. He didn’t really have the money to be going out to bars every weekend so...

When was the last time he’d gone out? It had to have been more than a month ago... maybe two?

His thoughts flicker back to the image of Mr. Grumpy, clothes rumpled, obviously exhausted, smelling of booze, and likely on his way back from a one night stand.

God. When was the last time he’d slept with somebody?

Vash starts counting backwards, but gives up when he realizes it’s been longer than he wants to admit.

It’s not that he has trouble finding partners on the rare occasions he does go out. He knows he has a pretty face and a body that easily catches people’s eyes on the dance floor, and he isn’t against using that to his advantage.

No, the problem usually comes after the bar, when the clothes start coming off and his partners get a look at the mess of scar tissue that makes up his body.

That was usually the point people started conveniently deciding they were too tired for a hookup, or remembered they had to work early the next morning, so would he mind leaving actually?

The last time he had actually gotten laid, the guy had insisted he only ever fucked in complete darkness, and had not just turned off the lights, but made sure to close the blinds to stop any light from coming in.

He’d conveniently brought this up right after Vash took off his shirt.

Vash can’t really hold it against anyone though. He knows what he looks like.

Sometimes he can’t even bare to look at himself...

Vash heaves a deep sigh, rubs his face and tries to shake himself out of his pity party.

Even if he doesn’t go home with anybody, the idea of just going out to dance still sounds like it could be fun. He’s been cooped up in his apartment and at work for too long, and as long as he has a few drinks at home first, a night out shouldn’t set him back too much.

He remembers hearing about a new bar opening up not too far away. One of the employees had come in and asked if they could put a flyer up on his shop’s bulletin board last week, and he thinks it’s probably still there. He'll have to take a look tomorrow. He hadn’t paid that much attention to it at the time, but he’s pretty sure he saw a rainbow flag on the flyer, which was good news if he does end up finding someone to... maybe not sleep with, he doesn’t think he can deal with another rejection right now, but maybe just make out with? Get a little handsy with?

Either way, if it’s a gay bar that means his pool of potential partners isn’t limited to just women, and at the moment he’s kind of craving someone big, and broad, maybe with dark hair, a bit of stubble, big hands, nice pecs...

Vash falls asleep to thoughts of drinking and dancing, the scent of cigarettes lingering somewhere in the back of his mind.

<< Previous Chapter || Next Chapter >>

[mykingdomforapen]

human faces

All Meryl Stryfe wanted was a scoop. What she got was a situation. 

This was to be expected when a rookie journalist was chasing after the story of the Silver Hurricane. Senior journalists hastily dodged any assignment related to the infamous catastrophic duo, citing family obligations or various other reasons to live. Rumor had it that other journalists who tried to track down the Silver Hurricane were the first to be killed in the aftermath of whatever devastation those demons inflicted–the dangers of trying to get too close for a good story. 

Meryl scoffed loudly, which made Roberto raise his eyebrows. 

“Think they’re cowards, newbie?” he asked. His voice was as flat as the desert terrain. 

“Demons is a bit much, isn’t it?” Meryl said. “We’re not supposed to exaggerate, or use that kind of inflammatory language. Cheapens our journalistic integrity.” 

Roberto grunted as he pulled his hip flask from his pocket. Meryl never figured out how there was still liquid in the little flask when he drank out of it every seven minutes (not that she kept track). Last she checked, he hadn’t snuck any liquor bottles into the back seat. 

“If you think demons is an exaggeration,” Roberto had said, “you haven’t been paying attention to the stories.”

Meryl’s lips flattened petulantly. University had taught her an overwhelming checklist of best practices and model behavior for a recent graduate in the liberal arts, and being contrarian was one of them. But she hadn’t lived under a rock, either. The city of November had designated “Silver Hurricane drills” for as long as she remembered: city-wide protocol of how to seek shelter and lock down the Plants should the two mysterious and merciless–beings–descend upon them. Even she knew that the massive, metallic bunkers would stand no chance if the ghost stories of infinite knives slicing open Plant warehouses and reducing guards to pulp were true.

Sometimes, she questioned why of all the journalists at Bernadelli News Agency, she and Roberto did not refuse to the assignment. She still had the unshakable delusion of youth that she was invulnerable and tied to nothing to go chasing after a story. She didn’t know why Roberto never used the excuse of needing to get back home in time for dinner like everyone else of his level. 

This was what brought them to a stretch of bleary deserts and pockets of small, rusting towns where rumors were as common as static noise–and Vash. 

“Just Vash,” he said brightly in his introduction. 

He was in an agreeable mood for someone whom Roberto and Meryl found dangling upside down with only decomposing bodies as company. Got caught in a bit of trouble, he said lightly when he reattached his prosthetic after giving Meryl one of the biggest shocks of her life. Let me treat you to a drink for your trouble–are you heading to Jeneora Rock too? 

“We can’t drink on the job,” Meryl said sharply, more directed towards Roberto than Vash when she saw a hopeful gleam in Roberto’s eye. “But we can give you a ride if you’d like.” 

“What? Really?” Vash exclaimed. His eyes widened behind his rosy glasses. “But I’m the one who should be giving you a ride for helping me out of a tight spot! I don’t have a driver’s license, but…” 

“Might as well let him buy us a drink, rookie,” Roberto said under his breath amidst Vash’s stuttering. “Let the kid sleep easy tonight.” 

They piled into the van, and as Meryl drove towards Jeneora Rock (“When you see the rock that looks a little like a gigantic Tomas egg, go northeast,” Vash piped up. “Then you’ll avoid the gigantic Worm carcass.”) she couldn’t help but take second and third glances at Vash through the rearview mirror. Not entirely because he was lovely to look at, but she could have sworn she recognized his face. Something about the birthmark just below the eye, maybe. 

“Are you from around here?” she asked. 

“I’ve been past here a couple of times,” Vash said easily, and without answering directly. “I’m glad that you’re coming through this area. It’s a good town, even if it’s small and quiet. And the people here are kind. They could use a couple of visitors.” 

His smile softened as he watched the window for some heartwarming nostalgia somewhere among the scorching sand and bleached tomas bones. When he turned his head, that was when Meryl noticed it. 

The rose gold sunglasses he wore added a perpetual blush to his face, and in particular to his eyes. Inside the shade of the car, away from the oppressive heat and glare of the noontime sun, she saw with piqued interest a glimpse of his eyes. 

One eye–brilliant, carefree blue. The other eye was a shocking, smoky red. 

Before Meryl could do a double-take, he turned his head and the golden glare of his sunglasses shielded him once more. 

“What are you doing in Jeneora Rock, anyway?” Vash asked. 

“We’re following a story!” Meryl said, always eager to share her work. “There are more and more cases of the Silver Hurricane, and the public need to know the truth behind them. If Roberto and I track them down, we can tell the true story–not just rumors! Oh, I’d love to get an exclusive interview–the human faces behind the Silver Hurricane!” 

She glanced up at the rearview mirror with a hopeful expectation of his reaction. Much to her dismay and self-consciousness, Vash fell silent. The easy smile that he juggled during the whole drive unexpectedly faltered. Maybe it was Meryl’s imagination, but she swore that his red eye glinted. 

“Human faces, huh?” he said lightly. “Sounds like you’ve got your work cut out for you.”

(1) (2)

[breezy-cheezy]

Trigun Stampede (+Milly) x FFXIV rambles

Vash:

Preferred job type: Healer (Sage)

Flex-

DPS: Machinist

Tank: I'd say Gunbreaker but I think he'd be drawn to the Paladin vibes ngl.

(the rest under the cut, this got LONG)

Viera, talks like a sprout/newbie even though he's been here forever. He's just so friendly!! Says hi!! And does a funny dance when queuing into any instance!! Always resurrects a downed party member, regardless of if they got there by being stupid or not. No matter how many times they die. He WILL raise them. He also maybe cries when someone falls off the stage (while everyone else laughs). Excellent healer, very attentive and knowledgeable about mechanics. Very encouraging!! Might get overwhelmed, even if very good at adjusting. Do Not Yell At Him He's doing his best.

Insanely good at DPS for some reason. He never wants to be the DPS. Heck if there wasn't a JOB depending on damage to heal, he'd do no damage at all. :/

Meryl:

Preferred job type: DPS (Monk. Punchy. Also Black Mage.)

Flex-

Healer: Sage (she's WAY too big on the DPS part. Opposite of Vash where if this didn't heal she'd do no healing....)

Tank: Warrior (so powerful, basically self sufficient)

Miqo'te Keeper of the Sun or Lalafel. Not sure, LOL. Always down to raid, especially if it's with friends!! Tends to jump the gun and trigger boss fights before tank is ready. She's lucky her tank (Milly) and Healers (Vash, sometimes Roberto) go with her anyway and don't let her die (like I would kJHSJDKLHF). Vash will start explaining mechanics and she'll just YEET into the room. Mechanics are for cars!!! Healers have to use Rescue on her alot....

She is, while blunt, still very kind to new people. She’s also always worried she isn't doing enough, so she throws herself into another fight before ready, MERYL NO-

Milly:

Preferred job type: Tank (Paladin, Gunbreaker)

Flex-

Healer: White Mage (simple, extremely effective)

DPS: Bard or Summoner (she loves playing the instruments! And the little friends from summoning :>)

Highlander Hyur. Always there if anyone wants to do anything, very easygoing and vibes with many different parties. She’s not....the fastest Tank (she’s not one to pull mobs from wall to wall) but she’s good at getting between the threat and her friends, and that’s what matters. As a tank she’s supposed to be leading but when Meryl’s in the group, she’s usually seen closely tailing her instead....also keeps putting the “Cover” spell (Take all damage intended for another party member as long as said member remains within 10 yalms.) on Vash even when he insists he can handle the damage.

PLEASE (politely) remind her to turn her tank stance on. She will forget.

She might get a little lost in admiring the scenery of the dungeons, or. Lost in general (as I have done hhhsdkj). Gently redirect her and you’ll be fine. Doesn’t quite know the mechanics but somehow does a great job anyway!

Roberto:

Preferred job type: Healer (Scholar. His weapon is a freaking newspaper.)

Flex-

Tank: Gunbreaker (please don’t make him tank, he is very slow, you’ll be there all day)

DPS: Black Mage (don’t have to move much, better on his back, big damage)

Highlander Hyur. Grumpy healer!! Very tired, but still very good at his job, always there when the going gets tough, no matter how much he complains. He’s given up on resurrecting downed party members when Vash is in the party because that kid is always on it. SOMEONE has to cover the healing when Vash inevitably runs his mana reserves dry doing this. Says he’s too old to raid, and yet has a surprisingly solid grasp on the mechanics. He does his research. Whether he takes the time to explain them though is another issue entirely....he will do callouts if needed.

Also has Rescue on a hotkey for Meryl, sometimes Vash. Will make fun of people for dumb deaths, might play limbo with health sometimes, but he’s reliable. He’s alert, and there are very few deaths on his watch. (Mainly because they don’t want his world-wary lecture, but shhhh)

Wolfwood:

Preferred job type: DPS (Reaper. because Undertaker. get it? haha. ha.)

Flex-

Tank: Dark Knight (giant unweildy weapon?? Angsty origins? Eyup.)

Healer: White Mage (He sucks at it, don’t make him heal. He just keeps using Glare and Holy.....)

Miqo’te, Keeper of the Moon. Used to be a tank main (and really enjoys co-tanking with Milly!!) but found Reaper worked for him really well. He’s the type to keep an eye on the healers, and is the first to run down wayward mobs that escape the tank’s notice. This is especially important with Vash, who gets so focused on healing he doesn’t realize he’s getting hurt. Plus, the faster they can kill stuff, the safer everyone is. Win-win.

Likes to pull crazy stunts, has accidentally Engressed off the stage. Several times. Sometimes gets the Rescue Leash (just not as often as Meryl). Constantly bickering with Meryl over everything, who did the most damage, annoyance for running ahead (when he’s doing the SAME THING), scuffed mechanics, etc. Thinks stupid deaths should be left alone but....

“No Needles they need to learn their lesson, leave them-”

-rez sounds-

“Nevermind.”

Knives:

Preferred Job Type: DPS (Ninja, Dancer. Both throw very sharp objects. I think Dancer would be nice for him since it deals with Dynamis, and expressing emotion in alternate ways, etc. Bard for the piano playing.)

Flex-

Tank: Dark Knight

Healer: Astrologian (He likes the strategy of it.)

Viera, very rarely talks in chat. Does not emote often, but when he does it’s....rather extreme. Vash does alot of talking for him really. (”Nai said thanks!” “......”) Just wants to get the duty over with. Honestly doesn’t show up often but when he does, it’s clear he’s done extensive research so he does it near perfectly every time (he got lost in a beginner dungeon ONE TIME....). If someone fails a mechanic and dies they deserve it. As healer, plays limbo with the tank HP (unless the tank is Vash).

Do Not get between Knives and his uptime. Just don’t. He knows what he’s doing (Milly as healer used Rescue on him ONCE before he was ready, and he’s never forgiven her lmao. Then there’s Wolfwood and Meryl who do it on PURPOSE...please don’t make them heal). 

He has entirely too many weapons. Millions, you could say. His glam chest is FULL of them.

[ihadtoposttrigun]

Who's ready for sad fan theory??

All aboard for some sad TriMax feels, spoilers ahead!

Trigun Stampede did a tidy job of cleaning up a few plot holes left behind by Mr. Nightow, esp. the one that bothered me a lot-- how the devil Conrad never died of old age. See figure 1 and figure 2 below, Conrad when he first meets the twins (a bit of hair) and at the time of his death (no hair)

Looking pretty good for a 200+ year old guy. He went from a balding man clocking in his 30s, to IDK, late-40s (or however Nightow feels like drawing him in any particular frame lol). How? Let's inventory what we can be sure of:

Conrad was born and raised somewhere in outer-space, perhaps Earth, perhaps not.

He is an accomplished space-stuff engineer, and a top crewmember of SEEDS, he's brought in and out of cryo sleep for emergencies

Somehow he survived the same crash that killed Rem, and made a comfortable life under the name Count Revenant Vasquez

Knives just shows up in his living room one night to recruit him

However, it did take more than 80 years for Knives to mature into an adult. Eighty! See Figure 3 below, from Vol 12 Ch 5, he still has a relatively boy-like countenance. Don't worry about what he's up to in this scene, shhhhh, it's fine.

So guessing that Knives finished maturing into an adult, found his favorite space fashion, and learned how to manspread on a couch (See Fig. 5), that must have been another 10-20 years, maybe?

Conrad was definitely at July before and after its destruction. He helped Legato pull Knives out of the rubble. That means we have a minimum of ~25 years. So the window of time for entering Knives service is 60-25 years. I'm going to spitball that at the start of the story, he spent 110 years as the Count, and then 40 years as Knives's subordinate. Math: I did it. You're welcome.

He only looks like he's aged 30 years (max) from start to finish, though.... It's somewhat plausible that he could afford to pay for more cryosleep as Count Vasquez on and off for 110 years, but would Knives also let his top scientist cryosleep as much as he wanted for another 40-ish years? (This is not accounting for any special treatment from obvious daddy issues because Knives kept Conrad around as a secret father figure.)

Figure 6: Pictured: Proto-Knives, Definitely

Would it even be that practical for ship survivors/Knives/anyone to just sit on that kind of knowledge/experience for years at a time, in a desperate place such as this? Or maybe... he just wasn't aging. He's a space person who was genetically modified to keep Project SEEDS going for as long as possible. And The Count was an alias created after it became obvious he wasn't getting older.

But you know who was also a top crewmate. Someone who would been also modified to ensure the best possible odds for SEEDS...

It's likely Rem would have also had Conrad's dubiously long lifespan. Rem, and Vash, and Knives (and maybe even Conrad, even though he's a lame ass loser) could have been a family for 150+ years. Or, if I'm totally wrong here, she could have similarly been afforded the same privileged treatment Conrad managed to secure for himself (in the middle of century-and-a-half long crisis, no less).

All this time... they might have been happy. And Knives? He's no dummy. He knew.

What's he supposed to say about people he's not supposed to care about?

[keirou-kun]

So this gifset crossed my dash and I started having Thoughts™ about it and about Wolfwood specifically. 

Nicholas D. Wolfwood is a walking ball of Trauma™. Now to be fair this also applies to Vash, but Nick's trauma is rather different and manifests in different ways. This is gonna have some mild spoilers for TriMax and Stampede, but TriMax has been around for years and the applicable bits of the story don't change much between the two so I'm not gonna worry much about it.

Let's start with the fact that Wolfwood is nowhere near as old as he looks. He appears to be somewhere between mid-20s to mid-30s, depending on the iteration, but due to experimentation and other bullshit he was forced to undergo he's probably closer to maybe 18? Maybe? We'll go with 18 because it makes things slightly less problematic, though we have no real basis for his actual age except that the caretaker and at least some of the kids at the orphanage where he lived don't appear to have aged much from the time he left to the time we see them again, so we can assume he's been gone for 5 years, max? So let's assume he was 13 when he was taken away; he wasn’t probably much younger than 11 and he can’t have been older than 13.

13 years old, undergoing experimentation that is often straight-up torture, that prematurely ages his body, it's painful, it's horrible, and then he undergoes combat training, learns to use that ridiculous weapon of his, and then he's sent out into the world as a soldier, an assassin, an executioner...Wolfwood is a killer. He knows he's a killer, and he's somewhere in his head convinced himself that he's fine with this. So long as he's good at his job and toes the line, maybe no other kids from his orphanage will be dragged into this. He has to be okay with this.

Enter Vash.

Now, Wolfwood has orders regarding Vash. He knows what's in store for this blond idiot. He has to play the game, make nice, make sure Vash survives and gets where he needs to go. What he doesn't have to do is actually make friends and get close to this dumbass. In fact he doesn't want to. It's easier that way. Don't think about it, don't worry about it, just do what he's told, fake it as long as necessary and get the fuck out at the earliest possible opportunity.

And then he sees the kind of man Vash is. This unbelievably skilled blond pacifist with one single braincell who refuses to kill even at the cost of his own health and wellbeing, who knows it would be easier to just destroy the problem right then and there because he's not an entire idiot or he'd be dead by now, and yet he never fucking pulls the trigger. It's a life that Wolfwood can never have. It's a life that some part of Wolfwood - the part that still wants to worthy of being called Nico-nii, Nick, whatever childhood nickname you like - dearly wishes he could have. But he knows he can't.

And then - in Stampede specifically - Vash, within maybe an hour of meeting him, with no idea who tf Wolfwood is or what he's capable of, ignores the - as far as Wolfwood is concerned - very accurate statement by Roberto in favor of giving him the most trusting look in the world and outright refuting the notion that Wolfwood is a killer without a conscience. Which is what Wolfwood knows he's supposed to be, has accepted himself as being, and now here's this idiotic blond puppy of an infamous outlaw who just looks at him with eyes that somehow see right into his very soul and tells him that he's not.

Vash holds up a mirror to show Wolfwood there's still good left in him, and Wolfwood can't even bring himself to hate the man for it. Because some part of him still wants to believe he might one day be redeemed. He hates what he's become, he hates what he's being made to do, but he doesn't see any other way out. Vash's lifestyle, Vash's philosophy, Vash's optimism are luxuries that Wolfwood can't allow himself to have, and he envies Vash for having not only the ability but the determination and the willpower to hold to those convictions.