#LIKE YOU CANT JUST THROW THEM IN COLORFUL SUITS AND CALL IT A WIN

[bandsanitizer]

kim hongjoong in balmain probably the only idol I want to see at the met gala now

[taffystake]

So......Are you ready for the encore?

Taffy’s Take: Dark Nights Death Metal #1

Written by: Scott “Hallowed Be Thy Name” Snyder

Pencils by: Greg “Panikiller” Capullo

Inks by: Jonathan “Motorbreath” Glapion

Colors by: FCO “Fixxxer” Plascencia

So....it has all finally come to this. The finale. The ultimatum in a long saga of stories that started in the original Dark Nights, began showing its hand in No Justice, and was fully fleshed out with Snyder’s Justice League run. And it opens with a resounding boom that rivets your attention straight to the story and won’t let go until the pages run out. 

We open with Sergeant Rock, preparing himself and an unknown audience for a conflict to come. When or where this is set is somewhat unknown, but the massive futuristic assault rifle he levels to emphasis his last line says that Rock is somewhere in the modern day.

After the credits page, featuring a map of the current world of the DCU and a message that calls Death Metal an “Anti-Crisis”, we cut to Wonder Woman, hard at work deconstructing the invisible jet with a buzzsaw-like device in the literal depths of hell (Originally Themyscira) when someone interrupts her over approaching people. Said person is the flaming, green-covered skeleton that Swamp Thing has become in this world and he says that someone is coming with prisoners. And as Diana walks through her prison to meet these people, we get to see the absolute myriad of villains entombed in the place, including Joker. Once they reach the quartet, we get to meet Batmage, a red-suited Batman, a cloaked figure, and.....Bat-Tyrannosaurus. After some very terse banter, Diana is forced to throw this unknown prisoner into the pits of Tartarus. But before he is cast into the depths, he mutters something to Diana that makes her recognize the person for a moment.

After that, we are shown Castle Bat and given a backstory of a specific field within that area and the rebels who died within the tunnels underneath it before pulling back to a panel of a castle, with The Batman Who Laughs’ twisted Robins and Joker dragons dominating the structure. And then we meet The Batman Who Laughs’ League, composed of pairings of heros and Dark Multiverse Batmen. We have Harley Quinn and Dr Arkham, Aquaman and Bathomet, Wonder Woman and Batmage, and Mister Miracle and Darkfather. With each of them, we get a small question about their current work, with the most noteworthy being Mister Miracle revealing that Superman has almost succumbed to the Anti-Life Equation. Content with their briefings, The Batman Who Laughs begins to explain how Perpetua, the god who created their multiverse, has destroyed another of their universe, leaving only 8 before The Batman Who Laughs and Perpetua can remake the multiverse however they desire. Before we can hear more, we’re dragged into Diana’s perspective as the true Batman engages in a psychic link with her, trying to advocate for a small victory rather than the sweeping final win that Diana desires. As her thoughts turn towards what happened to result in the current state of the universe and her lack of memory about what caused it, The Batman Who Laughs interrupts her as he can tell that she is hiding something.

And at that moment, an explosive arrow fires out of the nearby woods and nearly vaporizes The Batman Who Laughs. Sacrificing one of his Robins, we soon see Bruce stride out to exchange threats with The Batman Who Laughs, who takes with some jest before ordering an entire squadron of Dark Multiverse Batmen to kill Bruce. While the enslaved Justice League does their best to take advantage of the distraction, their Dark Multiverse minders are quick to detain them from any rebellious actions. So Bruce is left alone, simply standing in this field to face down an army. And as The Batman Who Laughs monologues about how disappointed the brave men and women who died in this field would be at Bruce’s actions, he asks him what he would say to justify himself.

His answer?

One word.

“RISE.”

And so, with a BLACK LANTERN RING ON HIS FINGER, BRUCE WAYNE SUMMONS AN ARMY OF UNDEAD REBELS TO FIGHT THE DARK MULTIVERSE BATMEN JUST PURELY TO DEMONSTRATE WHAT HIS METHOD CAN DO TO DIANA BEFORE RIDING OFF ON A SKELETAL MOTORCYCLE AND LEAVING ZOMBIE JONAH HEX TO CONTINUE LEADING THE ASSAULT.

And now, as the audience both in the know about all of that and not in the know but hyped as hell because BRUCE WAYNE WENT FULL FUCKING NECROMANCER sits in the afterglow of that amazing moment, we cut to a single page depicting the planet Ossex as the Main Man, Lobo, unearths something from underneath the living bone of the planet.

Having made it back to Themyscira, Diana is quick to continue with the rebellion, setting off into Tartarus to see who this mystery prisoner is. And its...Wally West, with a Dr Manhattan-style hydrogen atom drawn into the forehead of his costume. And with Wally, we finally get an explanation of what the hell is going on. See, with the traditional multiverses, they are created using the positive energies that were explored in the Justice League run, things like the Speed Force, the Emotional Spectrum, Imagination. The inverse, stuff like chaos magic and the forces of doom that Perpetua wished to bring to power (and succeeded at doing) are what Wally calls Crisis Energy. And whereas the positive energies wish to create a strong united universe, Crisis Energies wish to simply make only one thing, one moment, one person important. And so, when Perpetua was trapped after her attempts to make a universe of war out of crisis energy, she did her best to instigate crises and came back empowered with all that energy. Meanwhile, the league, empowered by the slightly failed efforts of Dr Manhattan to ‘fix’ the multiverse, gathered all the positive energy they could and then, between the last issue of Justice League and Death Metal, the two forces clashed. Which, since they were basically smashing tow inverse forces together, resulted in both sides burning themselves out.

Now, that block of text could be extremely dry feeling, but it works really well in the two page spread, with the word balloons beginning to form an infinity symbol as images of past crises ranging from the original Crisis On Infinite Earths to Emerald Twilight to Dark Nights Metal in the background. 

But back to the story. With that explanation done, Wonder Woman begins to theorize potentially going back to those crises and gathering this information for themselves in order to reshape the universe themselves. Resulting in....”The first Anti-Crisis” The Batman Who Laughs interrupts with, striding into Tartarus to cut his own deal with Wonder Woman to let him take control over Perpetua. If she helps him, she gets all the people Perpetua has trapped and their own planet. And after that, he emphasizes how she can’t out-plan him, how he’s already prepared for her to knock him out, use the invisible jet she was being forced to deconstruct and melt down to give her armor that would render her undetectable. Wonder Woman is quick to counter that despite all the knowledge The Batman Who Laughs says he has, that entire plan is what Bruce would do. So he is quick to counter, stating so then she’d make a weapon, some sort of sword?

But it seems The Batman Who Laughs didn’t account for two things. One, for Diana to have already made her weapon before he showed up. Two, she didn’t need to make a sword. And so, with a pull of its ripcord, THE CHAINSAW OF TRUTH CLEAVES ITS WAY THROUGH THE BATMAN WHO LAUGHS IN A SPLASH PAGE OF PURE ENERGY ERUPTING OUT OF THE DEMON WHERE THE CHAINSAW IS CUTTING THROUGH HIM!

The comic ends with two quick one panel stories. The first, with Batmage executing a final plan that The Batman Who Laughs had in place to unleash a final Bruce Wayne. Which only sounds mildly menacing, unti the art shows both a button with a watchmen-style frownie face and the final Bruce Wayne in silhouette, a glowing hydrogen atom on his forehead.

The other is a cut back to Sergeant Rock, still continuing with his tirade from the beginning of the comic before he is taken out of the moment by Batman coming to retrieve him for the big fight. And as Batman promises One last fight with everyone together, we get to see in silhouette that Sergeant Rock is missing his everything below his torso, revealing himself to likely be another resurrection from Bruce’s Black Lantern ring.

So, in summary, IM PUMPED TO SEE WHAT HEIGHTS THIS THING HITS! THE BIG MOMENTS WERE SO DAMNED COOL! THE ART IS STILL THE ABSOLUTE ALL KILLER NO FILLER THAT CAPULLO ROCKED OUT WITH IN THE LAST DARK NIGHTS METAL EVENT AND I CANT WAIT TO SEE WHAT NEW SPORES OF MADNESS HE GETS TO CREATE FOR THIS STORY! 

And while I’d like to be pure hype beast, that feels a little disingenuous when I do have some small moments that seem like they could be tweaked. Both of the long exposition scenes for the Dead Bats and the Positive Energy vs Crisis Energy could have potentially stood for another pass just to really tighten them up, but I will also admit that both those scenes kinda deserve to be long-winded. The Dead Bats to make sure that the setup for Batman with a Black Lantern Ring summoning an army at that point works and the Energy one because its explaining the entire setup for the rest of the event series and it helps lull things down so that the hype of Chainsaw of Truth can hit like it should. 

So yeah, this thing is absolutely something any Scott Snyder fan, any DC fan, heck Id almost venture to say anyone interested in comics read. None of the story elements of the comic intrinsically need you to know the backstory behind them, but there are definitely rewards for knowing DC continuity in general and Scott Snyder’s previous works in this arcing story. So yeah, I am going to sit here, vibrating in anticipation as I await the next issue of Death Metal from the Cowboys From Hell on their encore tour.

[mobius-prime]

157. Sonic the Hedgehog #90

Sword of Omens

Writer: Karl Bollers Pencils: FRY and Ron Lim Colors: Frank Gagliardo

So, who exactly was it last issue spying on Sonic the Sword Thief from the shadows as he left Knothole? Why, Mina of course! Sonic recognizes her as the girl he saved from throwing herself at Eggman's shadow-bots during the initial retaking of Robotropolis, and she says that she's been babysitting for Rosie ever since then, but hasn't been able to get thoughts of finding her family again out of her head. Sonic is mildly irritated, asking her why she would throw herself back into danger now and throw away his efforts at rescuing her before.

While they spoke, a squad of combots, armed with cloaking devices to turn them invisible, have snuck up on them. Eggman watches from Robotropolis, pleased that the bots he sent to find the sword just so happen to have found it in the hands of Sonic himself. He's determined to get the sword to ensure that no one can use it to give any more Robians back their free will, keeping Uncle Chuck and Muttski close to him as reminders of what happened before, where they stand staring with blank eyes. On a happier note, Sally and Elias are still in the middle of celebrating their mother and father's successful recoveries in the med-lab.

Well, that's moderately unsuccessful, I guess, but you gotta admit, being a paraplegic is way better than death. Outside Knothole, Sonic attempts to fight back against the combots, but while he's distracted, an invisible bot grabs Mina and begins to haul her away. At the same time, another bot grabs the sword from Sonic's hand. He's torn, initially thinking about going after the sword instead of Mina since not only can it give Robians their sentience back, but Mina has been wanting to be roboticized for a while now, but in the end his conscience wins out and he attacks the bot holding Mina. However, in the process he's attacked by several more cloaked combots, knocking him out and leaving a terrified Mina standing next to his unconscious form.

Well well well, it seems Mina and Sonic may have a very important trait in common! As she races them both away to safety, Geoffrey approaches the med-lab to speak to the king, who is discussing his situation with his family.

That didn't take him long at all to realize, did it? Mina has hidden herself and Sonic in a hollow log, and right when they're about to be discovered, Eggman gets a sudden alert that two unidentified objects have begun to fall from space, due to land square on his city. He recalls his bots just as Sonic begins to wake up, and after Mina tells him that in the chaos the combots took the sword, he hides her away amongst the bushes, racing after the bots to get it back. Eggman climbs up to his observation deck to watch the meteors hit as well as to watch for his combots' return, hoping they'll get there before the impact. Sonic catches up with them just as they reach the city's outer limits, and watches the imprints of their footprints in the dirt to fight since they're invisible. He hits the correct bot, knocking it over, but is shocked when something cuts it in half mere inches from him.

Lucky you weren't standing like, half a foot closer, man. Sonic looks up in alarm, only to see the two giant flaming meteors hurtling toward earth just above his head…

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Writer: Ken Penders Pencils: Steven Butler Colors: Frank Gagliardo

The situation in the labs is quite bad. The rescue team has found Yanar banged up but alive in the debris, and Gala-Na herself has arrived to assess the situation. Meanwhile, back in their quarters, Rob leads the others out a window so they can reach the chaos faster. He decides they should all blend in for the time being since they don't know what's going on, so they all take some firefighter suits that are just lying around nearby and race in to join the team fighting the raging fires within the complex. But where is Knuckles in all this? Is he okay?

SAY HELLO TO GREEN KNUCKLES, EVERYBODY! HE'S MEAN, HE'S GREEN, AND THIS WILL GO ON FOR THIRTY-SEVEN MORE GODDAMN ISSUES!

No, I am not exaggerating. I counted.

Antoine defends Knuckles from Gala-Na's obvious horror, noting the differences that can arise between family members throughout the generations and using his own father as an example, just as said father bursts from the wreckage in a murderous rage. Knuckles uses his overcharged Chaos powers to hold the High Sheriff in place inside an energy field, while Gala-Na frantically calls for security to come racing in armed to the teeth. She snaps when the others beg her to reconsider, but Antoine recounts how on the way over to Mercia, he, Bunnie, and Amy stopped in the North Tundra, where they met Rotor briefly. Rotor helped out by giving them an "electronic neutralizer" which could put a Robian in stasis for safe transport, which they intended to use on Antoine's father. However, Gala-Na refuses, snapping that they cant guarantee there won't be negative fallout from such an action - and a furious Knuckles, upon hearing this, unleashes a burst of green energy that engulfs the entire area. When the light clears, he and all his friends have vanished, leaving Gala-Na and her security team alone in the wreckage.

Say hi to the new Gala-Na! In past issues she's always been portrayed as a gentle, almost angelic individual happy to welcome people to her city, but now we're seeing another side of her - a much uglier side. I'm a bit baffled, though, as to why she's so concerned about Knuckles gaining powers similar to Dimitri, as, well, none of that debacle actually happened anywhere near Albion. In fact, Albion seems even more isolationist than those of the Floating Island, and barely seem to have had much contact with the island at all, since Knuckles didn't even know of their existence until he met the lost tribe. You'd think that if anything, the Brotherhood would be the ones who are the most concerned - and yet here Gala-Na is, wanting to stick her nose into matters that are none of her business. Here's hoping she doesn't make any stupid decisions like going after Green Knu… nah you know what, we already know how this will go, let's just jump forward into her dickery next issue, huh?

[peakyblinders1919]

Las Vegas

She hoped the city only looked grimy and dirty from inside the car. The car sputtering down the road caused people in rags with dirt on their faces out of the way. The houses hung low and were dark, depressing colors, a vast contrast to the colors rising back in Las Vegas, which she called home.  

“Tell me why I was forced to come here again?” She muttered to herself in the back seat, digging out her compact mirror from her bag and reapplying her pink lipstick. She meant for it to me a rhetorical question, or not really a question at all, but her driver thought otherwise.

“Your father was worried about your safety Miss.”

She scoffed, taking one last look at herself and flicking it shut, stuffing it back in her purse. “This city looks anything but safe.” She noted, watching a whore pleasure a man on the side of the road accompanied by barely audible yet distinct gunshots in the distance. Finally the car halted to a stop. Her driver got out and raced to open her door, helping her out of the car.

She stood out like a sore thumb, dressed in clothes that would have paid to feed five families. She spun around, trying to get a look at everything the place had to offer, and she could conclude that that wasn’t much. Just by the looks of it she could probably contract a disease from the populated, hazy air. “And what do they call this place?” She asked with an upturned nose.

“Birmingham Miss.”

“Right, sound’s like it looks, awful.” After a moment her driver laughed, now standing with her luggage on the side of the road uncomfortably. “Chauncey, I’ll give you 100 pounds to take me anywhere but here.” She pleaded with him.

“No can do Miss. Your fathers orders. Come on, you might find you’ll actually like it here.”

“Over my dead body.” She rolled her eyes while lighting a cigarette. She shuffled back as a kids was running down the street and a some kind of shop keeper followed them, sorting profanities. “Which might actually be the case.”

“So, is there anything fun to do around here?” She asked as she sat at the table blowing on her cup of tea to cool. She’d been in Birmingham for almost a week now and she hadn’t done anything. She was thankful for her mystery Aunt who lived there though, and her new discovered cousin. She wasn’t as bad as she thought she’d be. She didn’t give a lot of rules, just one flicker of advice; Don’t get involved with the Shelby’s.

“Why not?” She had inquired.

“They’re just like the same people you left.”

“Well I didn’t want to leave, I was forced.”

“Right, and if you dad finds out you didn’t stay away from danger, the next place he’d send you is the convent probably, so I’m just trying to help.”

So she had taken her Aunt’s advice, but she could only stay away for so long. She was starting to get bored, very bored, of the house and the two same old shops she knew of. She wanted to experience something new.

“We could go out tonight?” Her cousin suggested.

“Oh yes, yes please. I’d go anywhere.”

“There’s a pub-“

“If they have drinks, I’m there.”

“You might not like it, it’s kinda…dirty.”

“I don’t care, just get me out of here.”

A few minutes later and she was standing at the bar with a drink in hand and her cousin next to her. She slammed her freshly finished drink on the counter, calling loudly for another round. The men around her cheered and wouldn’t stop eyeing her, surely they’d never seen such a beautiful women drink like a man. She smiled in their view, finally satisfied to be at a party and the center of attention again, regardless of exactly what kind of attention it was she was receiving.

She giggled into her cousins shoulder drunkenly. “Right, my bladder’s going to explode, I’m going to the bathroom.” She said, unknowingly walking towards the private room of the Garrison. Applying pressure to the door with her shoulder she threw it open, the music from the bar filing into the quiet, smokey room. In it were three boys looking somewhat dumbstruck to see this random, beautiful girl stood in the doorway. They looked at her, waiting to hear her explanation as to why she was interrupting their night. The one of the left with cold eyes brought a cigarette to his lips and smoked it while examining her, flicking his eyes away rather quickly when he decided he didn’t want her. The boy next to him with chocolate skin smiled at her, but she didn’t smile back at him. She was looking at the one on the end with strawberry blonde hair in an interesting cut.

“Oh, uh, sorry, I was just looking for the bathroom.” She managed to finally say, making to close the door and leave but she couldn’t. Just as soon as they were out of her sight she threw the door back open. “Hi, sorry, are you guys playing poker?” She asked, unable to take her eyes off the cards on the table.

“Yeah, you know how to play?” The one in the middle asked as the one still smoking look uninterested and the other was just too shy to say anything.

“I do.”

“You any good?”

“Why don’t you find out yourself?”

He ran his tongue over his lip while looking her. “Alright, take a seat.” She squealed with excitement closing the door.

“Uh, it was Finn’s turn to deal but-“

“Oh, sure, I can.” She said with a grin, taking the cards from him. She tried doing a fancy shuffle at first, the cards going everywhere thanks to her shaky hands. The two boys tried to suppress their laughs but the quiet one watched her intently. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and tried again. This time it was effortless. She shuffled the cards and dealt them so quick the boys could barely keep up with her.

“Right so Texas Holdem, you get two cards now and then three, highest hand is a royal flush, all the same suit. Are we playing with money?” She rambled, flashing them a smile each. Their jaws were basically to the floor, never having seen a girl know so much about poker.

“Eh, we was just playing for fun.”

“So the quiet one finally speaks.” She said with a laugh, finishing dealing her own cards. “It’s not fun without money on the line though. I don’t have much, how about…” she fiddled with her purse, putting some money down, “100 pounds to play.”

“Woah, what’s a girl doing with 100 pounds around here?” The one on the left asked, finally interested.

“I’m new around here.”

“We could tell. I’m Isaiah by the way, and that’s Finn and this here’s Michael.”

“Nice to meet you boys. I’m Y/N, and stop chatting, we got a game let’s go.” She dealt out the round of cards, reading everyone’s expressions. Isaiah folded first followed by Michael when Y/N raised the bet to 200 pounds. They were egging Finn on but he didn’t have a chance.

“This is it. Never lost a game in my life.” She said confidently while flipping over the last card. “Straight flush.” There was an unanimous round of sighs then. “That means you loose if you have anything but a royal flush.”

“Well, around here my family’s kind of royalty.” Finn said, flipping his cards over to reveal he had the best hand possible. Y/N’s mouth fell as she realized she’d finally been beat at her own game. Isaiah and Michael cheered and patted him on the back as he collected the money.

“Nice one.” She finally said, extending a hand.

“You too. That was really good, you know you’re stuff.”

“Yeah well, where I’m from my family’s kinda royal too.”

“Oh yeah? What’s your name?”

“You wouldn’t know it.” She said as she found herself with Finn as the other two went to grab more drinks. “I’m not exactly from around here.”

“Right, and where’d you say you’re from?”

“I didn’t.” He just looked at her then, waiting. “I’m from Las Vegas.”

“What’re you doing all the way over here?” He asked confused.

“My dad’s starting a lot of illegal gambling dens, I guess he thought it was a bad place for me.”

“So he sent you to Birmingham?”

“Stupid, right? He wanted me to get away from violence and gangs so he sent me to the Shelby’s town.” She huffed, blowing smoke from her new cigarette. “I haven’t even seen any of them yet, just heard of them. They can’t be that bad.”

“We’re not.” Finn squeaked, causing her to look at him.

“What’d you say your last name was?”

“I didn’t. But it’s Shelby.”

“Well my dad would hate this.” She chuckled, throwing her head back. “Well, I heard right then, the Shelby’s are good looking.”

“You think I’m good looking?”

“Don’t flatter yourself just because you won one lousy poker game.”

“I bet I could beat you again.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

“All or nothing?” She asked, collecting the cards from the table and starting to shuffle them again, getting closer to Finn’s face.

“I have a better idea. How about if I win you go on a date with me.”

“And if I win?” She asked with an eyebrow raised.

“Then you could have whatever you want.”

“I want your money.”

The game lasted till the early morning when the Garrison was emptied. Finn closed up quickly, having told Y/N it was his family’s pub. She tried not to look too impressed either when she found out. She waited at the door with her hand extended. Finn counted out the money, handing it over.

“You’re right, you’re very good.”

“I know.” She said laughing. “Tough loss too.” She said, putting the money away.

“Yeah, maybe we could still go out?”

“Maybe…” She said, leaning to give him a playfully kiss on the lips, just enough for him to want more as he watched her walk into the night.

Feedback please!!

[sorcieresque]

naisy gossip from the past couple of days on: ai’s shapeshifting and the legitimacy thereof, the shape of daisy’s head, trans troubles, daisy being offended by her implied sluttiness, a detour to dick jokes,  a detour from dick jokes to feelings jamming, a detour about ines’s annoyingness factor, lesbian island and clea

nickatnightwalker brief interjection: you doing okay with tweedle drunk and tweedle drunker over there?

sorcieresque Are you.

nickatnightwalker well, ive been completely cured of the siren charm probably forever

sorcieresque Good. He's not that cute either way. Tyler's a mess. It's embarrassing.

nickatnightwalker it's amazing how fast my interest in either of them dropped.  like watching a rock plummet off the empire state building and then kill some passers by

nickatnightwalker anyway me and damian are going for a walk until their blood alcohol levels drop below .6. wanna come

sorcieresque I take a low res picture, fry it, and caption the rock in comic sans: My interest, the passers-by Tyler's chances of getting laid, the empire state building is captioned God. I'm not going to third wheel you. I’ll have you know I have better social skills than that.

nickatnightwalker this is an escape run daise take it or leave it

sorcieresque Fine. This doppelganger fiasco is getting boring either way.

nickatnightwalker shes not real good is she

sorcieresque No. Having a 3D mirror was fun for all about twenty minutes, which makes for better bragging rights than most people have ever had. She should be proud.

nickatnightwalker now do you get what i mean about your head being weird shaped

sorcieresque Fuck you. My head is perfectly round.

nickatnightwalker round ish

sorcieresque Your face is round-ish.

nickatnightwalker no it's not my jawline is the only good thing my dad ever gave me and you cant erase that fact

sorcieresque I could if I wanted to. Take back that my head is weird-shaped.

nickatnightwalker you cant change my face

sorcieresque I can and I shall.

nickatnightwalker cant and shant

sorcieresque Take it back.

nickatnightwalker you must have seen it though

sorcieresque I was too busy being mesmerized by the acute angles of my cheekbones.

nickatnightwalker huh you really missed an opportunity there then

sorcieresque Let a shapeshifter pour themselves into an unholy you-shaped mold and then you shall throw stones.

nickatnightwalker absolutely not hey do you think ai could even turn into me she doesnt really know what i look like

sorcieresque What do you mean.

nickatnightwalker i mean it's not like ive stripped and tap danced through the quad shes gonna get shit wrong

sorcieresque Right. I assumed that was left to her vague interpretation. It's not like she knows what the hot goods look like beneath my skirts.

nickatnightwalker kind of unsettling maybe everythings just barbie and ken under there when she turns into us

sorcieresque On a scale of one to very, how rude would it be to ask her to take her clothes off.

nickatnightwalker for you i think she would happily

sorcieresque I know. It's charming. My intentions are only pure and scientific.

nickatnightwalker that part she might not love

sorcieresque That sounds like a her-problem.

nickatnightwalker itll be a you problem if she says no

sorcieresque What if she knows how to mold us to a T.

nickatnightwalker how could she possibly

sorcieresque Magic? (Finger waving, etc.)

nickatnightwalker no, she has to know what somethign looks like to be it theres no way shes gotta just be vague nothing underneath

sorcieresque Then what's the big deal. Don't be a pussy.

nickatnightwalker well excuse me for being reluctant if the odds arent 100% against her finding out ive GOT one

sorcieresque What, did you forget you're not the only one in the world? She didn't seem to know about me.

nickatnightwalker theres a lot less to guess on with you daise

nickatnightwalker no offense but im pretty sure everyone heres seen you shirtless or close enough to to make a good approximately of nearly everything going on up there

nickatnightwalker and most of us have seen your ass too

sorcieresque That's an exaggeration, but you're welcome. There is not "less" going on with me, just different issues in the downstairs department.

nickatnightwalker no, not less, just less that people dont know about it's the public semi-nudity daise

sorcieresque You make it sound a lot worse than it is.

sorcieresque You'd think after all these years you wouldn't be so scandalized of my alleged indecency.

nickatnightwalker oh no im not but everyone else isnt hardened to it yet

sorcieresque Haha. Hardened.

nickatnightwalker i dont get it can you explain?

sorcieresque Penis Havers + Sight of Skin = Profit.

nickatnightwalker hm. yknow ive always managed it without the sight of skin part?

sorcieresque Ooh, Mr. Nick, ooh.

sorcieresque The mere sight of your melaninless face sends every phallus in a two mile radius from solid to mega solid.

nickatnightwalker you joke and yet

sorcieresque Deepthroating a banana is cheating.

nickatnightwalker no it is NOT besides thats just how i eat them

sorcieresque Perhaps you and Ines are much more similar than you'd like to believe.

nickatnightwalker please, as if she could eat a banana like i can

sorcieresque She can unhinge her jaw, Nick.

nickatnightwalker you got me there but that really seems like a sacrifice in terms of pressure and suction

sorcieresque I suddenly don't care about this.

nickatnightwalker some principles are universal daisy

sorcieresque I hardly see how unhinging your jaw would aid one outside of pleasing the mighty sword of Venus, oh Great Kahuna of Oral Sex.

nickatnightwalker itd kinda be win some lose some just because youd get greater range of motion but lose a lot of use of your lips

sorcieresque Not that this conversation isn't dripping mystery and pulsing with excitement, but are you okay.

nickatnightwalker what oh yeah he just asked if i like being human

nickatnightwalker like...idk man do i like that ive been consigned to a particularly fragile and ill-fitting meat suit? sure i guess, since the alternative was not existing at all shout out to my dads poor planning aaaaaaaay

sorcieresque Aaaay! Asking you that must count as a micro-aggression around here.

nickatnightwalker oh fuck if i know everything is a micro-aggression around here asking somebody their favorite food is a micro-aggression around here "hey whats your favorite color" "do you not know how PERSONAL colors are to me once a color murdered my entire family and now im forced to brood silently yet threateningly whenever i see it"

sorcieresque Does he like *not* being human? Respond in 2000-5000 words MLA format on your desk by tomorrow.

nickatnightwalker as a matter of fact thats exactly what i just told him

sorcieresque Twinsies.

nickatnightwalker i bet we could start telling people that tomorrow and theyd swallow it hook line and sinker

sorcieresque On that note, has Damian grown out of his sisterwife kink yet?

nickatnightwalker while i dont know what his personal feelings are on it knocking that joke out of the repertoire was part of the motherfucking bargain in exchange for letting him talk to me after hurricane daniel

sorcieresque You've always been good at haggling.

nickatnightwalker thank you you know i really, really debated putting an allowance in there for a while?

sorcieresque Ha! Perhaps not quite so good, then.

nickatnightwalker that was a trade off for my own self respect daisy

sorcieresque I suppose some of you /humans/ have that.

nickatnightwalker oh god dont even go there or i'll vanish your hair too

sorcieresque Someone's touchy.

nickatnightwalker shes just about as annoying as an asscrack full of sand

sorcieresque An asscrack full of sand and sticky hands from a rapidly melting Popsicle?

nickatnightwalker with sand glued onto your arms and legs with too-thick sunscreen scratching gently but persistently at your sunburn

sorcieresque And your sunglasses are smudged.

nickatnightwalker and your towel is too sandy to clean them on

sorcieresque And there's Sandflies.

nickatnightwalker when you shower youre gonna find dried seaweed down your bathing suit thats been there for hours

sorcieresque Like lovingly cradling Satan against your crotch. Anyway.

nickatnightwalker anyway shes real fuckin annoying

sorcieresque She's not so bad. I would have stopped around the sunglasses.

nickatnightwalker you havent seen her raging superiority complex up close and personal

sorcieresque I've seen her raging Mine Song complex.

nickatnightwalker that is one can of lesbian worms i am not gonna go anywhere the fuck near

nickatnightwalker im gonna just stay over here in my lane and not get in anywhere near anything the amazon warriors have claimed, up to and including the entire proteus dorm

sorcieresque What about /my/ problems, Nick.

nickatnightwalker cleas gotta come out, im not goin in

nickatnightwalker i dunno if you wanna take on the sapphic equivalent of the mongol horde  that's your bad choice not mine

sorcieresque Well mark my death as "mysterious" on my Wikipedia page and call me sexy Genghis Khan, I'm ready.

nickatnightwalker is there anything really worth conquering over there anyway

sorcieresque Yes.

nickatnightwalker name names bitch!

sorcieresque What is this, a middle school sleepover?

nickatnightwalker yep

nickatnightwalker ive got the popcorn in the microwave now spill

sorcieresque You're subscribed to the Daily Daisy, I was under the impression that you would have an idea. Unless it's tagged Nick don't look, in which case you do not, because we respect each other's privacy.

nickatnightwalker of course i dont but i have YET to see a name drop

sorcieresque Are you asking me if there is a lucky military strategist I would particularly like to conquer?

nickatnightwalker yes imagine some clapping emojisfor me

sorcieresque You're very insistent.

nickatnightwalker well yeah

nickatnightwalker course i wanna hear whats up

sorcieresque Oh.

sorcieresque Well, no single tactician has caught my eye just yet, but I find some of the army members, how do you say, cute. Ines among them.

sorcieresque You love to joke about it, but I don't actually find Tyler's game plans all that exciting. Val's too annoying and Gabriela too dumb to strive beyond eye candy. I've caught glimpses of Clea, you know.

nickatnightwalker thats vague and intriguing keep going

sorcieresque That's all there is to say.

sorcieresque Sometimes they are there, and then they are back to being a walking kaleidoscope on steroids. I think they're cute.

nickatnightwalker they sent me a picture of them before yknow, before why can you see them?

sorcieresque I don't know. And oh. How very juicy of them.

nickatnightwalker dyou want it

sorcieresque Absolutely I do.

nickatnightwalker [it's an incredibly middle-school mirror selfie]

sorcieresque I see. Thank you for your candor.

nickatnightwalker youre welcome you and clea all straightened out? after what they said and everything i know they apologized but still

sorcieresque I made them clamber up the vine and hang from my window. It was very romantic.

nickatnightwalker oh thats so smooth im impressed of you i mean since you told them what to do

sorcieresque And isn't that a most excellent quality in a person.

nickatnightwalker obedience? generally speaking a better quality in a housepet than a person but cleas got other perks

sorcieresque Yes? And what would those be.

nickatnightwalker a fourth dimension australian accent

sorcieresque The compulsive chivalry grew on me.

nickatnightwalker it really is compulsive i swear they keep trying to stop

sorcieresque Interesting.

sorcieresque I could've sworn that was supposed to be their shtick.

nickatnightwalker i thought their shtick was quirky 90s friend

sorcieresque They contain multitudes. That's why they look like that.

nickatnightwalker well shit youre not wrong there i feel threatened by their only-sane-man and rational-human motifs though that's really kinda my thing

sorcieresque Your shtick is far more interesting than being a "rational" person.

nickatnightwalker thank you i do try to work that in though at least sometimes

sorcieresque Do you think it brings an eclectic factor to the jittery je ne sais quoi of your attractiveness?

nickatnightwalker absolutely i do i think it emphasizes that my jitteriness is not unfounded

sorcieresque Wow, you're even internally consistent.

nickatnightwalker oh yeah definitely what you see is what you get with me

sorcieresque Whatever happened to the mystery!

nickatnightwalker new school new me

sorcieresque Your transparency of character disgusts me.

nickatnightwalker oh man daise it disgusts me too

[jardingelique]

idk if these are actually 85

TAG GAME!! 85 BLOODY QUESTIONS!!!

(thank you for the tag @mariyagabriyella​)

1. How old are you? 17

2. Favorite scent? orangessss

3. Sun, moon or stars? the moon

4. The book or the movie? book AND THEN movie

5. What’s your zodiac sign? Capricorn

6. How big is your heart? I don’t know, really

7. How old were you when you had your first kiss? I HAVENT HAD IT OMG

8. Tattoos or piercings? tats!!!!!

9. Favorite flower? peonies

10. Favorite animal? dogs 4 lyf esp gr’s

11. Are you happy? I can be when I want to be

12. Favorite song at the moment? Best Friend - Rex Orange County

13. Last movie you watched? Thor: The Dark World ahaha

14. What are you reading right now? angst on angst on angst

15. How old were you when you had your first heartbreak? 17 

16. Something that you love? My art supplies even though it’s been so long since I touched them

16. Something that you hate? That I’m not on a plane to anywhere rn

17. Favorite color? Blue

18. Favorite season? We don’t have it but I like fall

19. Coffee or tea? coffee

20. Favorite food? EOMUK!!!!

21. Something you can’t live without? My books

22. What is it that you are but wish you weren’t? Tired

23. What is it that you are NOT but wish you were? Competitive

24. Do you have a crush at the moment? no ig not

25. Three things you are scared of? butterflies, dying old, not being able to get a job

26. Dream destination? idk... just anywhere my brother wants to go, even if it’s not copenhagen

27. Chocolate or vanilla? choklit mah dude

28. First thing you notice in a person when you see them? their eyes

29. Favorite book/TV series ships? WILL AND JEM LMAO AHAHHA those parababitches

30. What were you doing before this? sleeping

31. Something you’re interested in? the.. idk, nothing right now

32. Do you smoke? used to (on/off tbh)

33. Can you play any instruments? the uke

34. Any talents? nothing other people can do better

35. Have you ever selfharmed? Why? yes, and I only admit it because I don’t want the experience to control me yet I will not say more about it

36. Playing any sports? badminton dati

37. Favorite thing to do in your free time? being torn between being on my laptop and playing w my dog (the latter always wins)

38. What’s your sexual orientation? B I S E X U A L represent

39. What do you prefer: to go to a party or to stay at home? throw the party and not join tbh heh i like being responsible for the entertainment but i dont want to be a part of it, weird innit

40. Are you a pervert? is the sky blue? jk nO IM NOT 

41. Are you optimistic​, pessimistic​ or a realistic​? realist

42. Do you love yourself? so much that I wish I could date myself (bc no one else wants to HAHHAHA)

43. Are you religious? to some extent

44. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? with my dad, the most

45. Favorite fruits? oranges and mangoes

46. What color do you wear the most? I’ve been told I wear a lot of gray

47. Describe your style. weeeeeeeell, I don’t have one, I wear my PJs to any event if I think I can get away w it

48. Favorite desserts? funnily enough, it’s those chinese things.. the bread you dip in condensed milk? i forgot what those are called but those are surreal

49. What was your first job? dont have one Y E T

50. How tall are you? 5'5.5″

51. What motivates you? the hundreds of ways that I can make my family comfortable in life

52. Dogs or cats? idk.. sometimes i want a cat? but I know I’d always get a dog

53. Lipstick or chapstick? i dont.... ._.

54. Favorite Disney princess? i can’t say that i have one? they’re all hella strange

55. Do you have any siblings? yeah 4 of them

56. Favorite holiday? Christmas

57. Are you a more quiet person or do you talk a lot? quier

58. You can undo something from your past, what is it? wala! keep moving forward lang hahaha don’t look back

59. Least favorite food? calamares tf

60. Lucky number? none

61. Favorite mythical creature? the... you know what idk. i kinda like sciron’s turtle (read about it, it’s a greek myth)

62. Which color suits you best? idk but i hate yellow

63. Do you believe in love at first sight? weeeeeeell

64. Eye color? Brown if u really look hard enough

65. How long is your hair? What color is it? short and black 

66. Have you ever tried drugs? hell nah

67. Favorite hair color? his (even though he was a dick, he had good hair)

68. Favorite eye color? still his

69. Are you superstitious? HHAHAHAHAAHAH on some occasions when I wanna freak someone out or some shit

70. What’s your relationship status? single and waiting for the avengers: infinity war

71. Do you believe in soulmates? yeah, mine’s sleeping rn 

72. What does your name mean? oh i know veronica means something in bullfighting, but platon means “broad-shouldered” bc shoutout to plato my great great great great (...) granddaddy

73. Is cheating ever okay? tf u think

74. Do you believe everything happens for a reason? it sometimes sounds like bs but it can be really reasonable

75. Are you mean? yes

76. What’s easier to forgive or to forget? forget, sometimes I just stop caring about it even though it still gets to me... that’s just when I know I haven’t forgiven

77. Do you miss anyone from your past? i dont

78. How are you feeling at the moment? hungry! i wanted to get these q’s all answered before i leave my room and have bfast

79. Are you a romantic person? hopelessly! 

80. Sea or mountain? i dont like the sea but i cant have the mountain w/o throwing in the sea

81. Ever got in trouble with the police? no HAHAHAHA but I’ve been held at gunpoint

82. Can you cook? hella but my friends dk about it

83. Are you allergic to something? bullshit jk

84. Something that surprises you? when someone remembers

TAG AS MANY PPL AS YOU WANT! Enjoy answering :)

@petalpidge